#sentence length variation

[altraviolet]

text comparisons because I think they're fun to do

I was watching lexi aka newlynova's latest video, this one here:

wherein she reads aloud text from two books, Powerless and Notes On An Execution, and says she's not really able to describe why the text reads badly in one and not the other, respectively. I thought it would be fun to write out the text examples and talk about what works and doesn't work. Full disclaimer: I haven't read either of these books and am going 100% on what Lexi has provided.

From what I can tell, both passages are a character describing another character- either directly to the reader, or imagining what she was like (because she's dead).

Lexi's own words on why she thinks the text of Powerless doesn't work:

...a lot of the writing is overly descriptive but not in a way that felt especially profound or well-written. It's kind of like, let's say the same thing, but again, and with words that start with the same letters and then that sentence will definitely be a banger but repeat it ad infinitem for the entire duration of the book and it's always very noticeable to me every single time. There's one passage towards the end that – it's not a spoiler – but I do think that it demonstrates pretty accurately how the writing style of the entire book was.

The text from Powerless, starting around 19:06 in the video:

She's scared. Scared of whatever it is between us. She always has been. That's why she chose to be my enemy, my rival, rather than let herself feel – which is something I'm not accustomed to myself. It's like a tangible tether between us, this consuming connection. I will her to meet my eyes, and when they do- Sparks. Electricity. Everything beautiful, everything bold, everything breathtaking – that is what I feel in her gaze. That, and terrified. Terrified of what she is doing to me. She is a vision, a nightmare, a dream. A grim reaper clad in black, come to steal my soul and my heart. I've never seen something so beautiful, so bold, so blatantly wrong for me. She is a devil. She is a deity. She is man's downfall in human form. She is my downfall.

Lexi describes this as “overt and over the top,” which is true. You can see what she means by the use of repetition. The character being described here is obviously very powerful, but the text feels tiring to read. I am not awed by this power.

Let's contrast to Notes On An Execution. Lexi describes the writing as fantastic and gives us context: the detective is thinking of one of the killer's victims. From 23:18 in the video:

As Saffy leaned against the backroom wall, Izzy's hair in her lap, she was transported into a hallucination that had stalked her for years now, a parallel universe that felt sickening, nearly fatal in its limitlessness. A highway, dusk. A flicker of long black ponytail. Izzy had died at sixteen, but she was older here: nineteen, maybe twenty. Windows open, air whipping hard, an old bluegrass song twanging from the radio. There would have been a boy, sitting in the passenger's seat – Izzy would not have loved him, not here, maybe not ever, but this wouldn't have mattered, in the hot flush of youth, his calloused fingers creeping up her thigh, the horizon bleeding behind the Adirondack peaks. In this almost-world – the substitute reality that lingered like a daydream – Izzy was never a pile of bones on the table. She was bright and golden, a blazing instant of mundane and perfect glory.

Even though Izzy isn't described as a devil, a deity, man's downfall in human form... doesn't she feel much more real? The Execution passage doesn't have short, quippy sentences, but it feels less exhausting to read.

I think there are two reasons for the variance in quality: sentence length and detail/description/specificity.

Sentence length

Sentence length variation is very, very important to the flow of a story. Consecutive sentences of similar length melt together. They drone on and on. They become monotonous. It's important to use a mix of short, medium, and long sentences together for good flow (unless you are going for some kind of effect, in which case, you need to be very deliberate about what you're doing).

Let's look at the number of words in each sentence in both excerpts. The first paragraph of Powerless has 4 sentences. The first sentence has 2 words, the next has 7, the next has 4, and the last has 23. So I'm going to represent that paragraph as 2, 7, 4, 23. Make sense? Here we go.

Powerless:

2, 7, 4, 23 10, 11 1, 1 14 3, 8, 8 14 13 4, 4 7 4

total words: 138

Execution:

36 3, 6, 13, 13 47 22, 13

total words: 153

So for a similar number of words, we have vastly different approaches to word count per sentence. Powerless's first paragraph actually has a really good distribution. Going from short -> long or long -> short sentences keeps things flowing. (Which should you use? You choose the approach based on what you're trying to highlight.) But following that, you can see how Powerless's consecutive sentences have the same number of words. 14, 13. 4, 4, 7, 4. This is what contributes to the "start-stop," "takes longer to read" feeling of that excerpt.

In contrast, Execution has very different word counts for consecutive sentences, with one exception. This helps its sentences flow much more easily through the mind. (There's a lot I could say about that first sentence using passive voice and a filter word and being 36 words long and still working nicely, but we'll stay focused!) We go from 36 words to 3. From 13 to 47. Down and up and down and up. Flow!

Detail/description/specificity

Details/descriptions and their specificity help ground the reader in your story. Making grand, sweeping statements without backing them up with details turns them into flat and meaningless statements. Details/description/specificity can be written in many ways. Word choice and sensory information are the first that come to my mind.

For word choice we can look at the verbs and adjectives that are used. For sensory information, we look for how the five senses are engaged within the text. Specificity is found in these details.

Verbs

[hopefully I didn't miss or misattribute any, I did my best]

Here are the verbs in the Powerless excerpt (I'm putting the contractions as "is"):

is, is, has been, is, feel, accustomed to, is, am, is, will, do, is, feel, is, is, come, seen, is, is, is, is

Here are the verbs in the Execution excerpt:

leaned, was transported, stalked, felt, had died, was, whipping, twanging, would have been, sitting, would not have loved, wouldn't have mattered, creeping, bleeding, lingered, was, was

I think it's pretty easy to see the difference in word choice here. Most of the Powerless verbs are from a single verb: to be. Almost all of the Execution verbs are unique. Many of the verb choices for Execution are very strong: whipping, twanging, creeping, bleeding. These all have visceral feels to them. So much more detailed and alive than is is is is is is.

Adjectives

Powerless:

[I'm 99% sure the things that look like adjectives in this excerpt, like the “black” in “clad in black,” are acting like nouns, which is why they're not in the list. Correct me if I'm wrong]

scared, scared, tangible, consuming, beautiful, bold, breathtaking, terrified, terrified, beautiful, bold, wrong

Execution:

parallel, sickening, fatal, long, black, older, old, bluegrass, passenger's, hot, calloused, substitute, bright, golden, blazing, mundane, perfect

Again we see repeated adjectives in the first excerpt and unique adjectives in the second. The adjective "beautiful" doesn't tell you as much about an object as "bright" or "calloused" does. This is what I mean by specificity: the more specific your word choices are, the more real the text feels, and the more the reader can ground themself in it.

It doesn't matter how many beautifuls you throw at a reader. They will never be as impactful as a single golden.

Sensory details

Powerless is severely lacking in sensory details. I guess we have these two:

"tangible tether" is the author telling you that something feels like it can be touched

"A grim reaper clad in black" is technically something you can see.

Execution is drenched in sensory details, mostly in its strong verbs. These are the ones that stood out to me most:

"Windows open, air whipping hard" somatic detail, you know the characters are in a car going fast, they can feel the wind

"old bluegrass song twanging from the radio" audial detail, "twanging" is a great verb here

"the hot flush of youth" somatic detail, abstract but very understandable

"his calloused fingers creeping up her thigh" somatic detail, the word choice makes this feel very creepy to me

"the horizon bleeding behind the Adirondack peaks" visual detail, the use of "bleeding" makes it quite striking

The text engages multiple senses with strong verbs, giving specific details to the reader, and allowing them to sink into the world.

So! There's my mini thesis on why the text of Execution is so much better than Powerless.

Let's be clear: there's a time and a place for sweeping, non-detailed, non-sensory-engaging, weak-verb-using prose, but... I'm not sure what that time and place are. Maybe... something really character-driven, and the character is meek as hell? In my opinion, you can make any non-descriptive batch of statements better with specificity and strong word choice.

What would I advise to improve the writing of Powerless?

-vary the sentence length. you can test your flow by either reading aloud or counting out the words, as above

-use strong verbs. avoid adverbs. you are allowed to use them, but a strong verb is always better

-insert grounded, sensory details. engage the senses! all of them!

-replace sweeping statements with details. for example, don't tell me the character is beautiful, give me examples of how she's beautiful (describe either her body or her convictions or her weapons, whatever it is that the POV character finds beautiful). don't tell me a character is a nightmare/devil/etc, give me examples of how she's powerful/evil/scary.

Homework assignment:

I've never seen something so beautiful, so bold, so blatantly wrong for me.

rewrite the above sentence. give me examples of the beautiful, the bold, and the wrong. make me feel each one. make them clash in a way that makes the reader feel as uncomfortable as the POV character feels.

--

Alright, I've been typing this up for quite a while. Let's call it here. Hope you enjoyed my write up! Feel free to send questions about this to my ask box. Hopefully I haven't made any mistakes identifying parts of speech or counting words.

Also, check out Lexi's video!

⚠️ quick side note: the portion of Lexi's video called "tragedy strikes" is Lexi explaining how a depressive state has affected her ability to read. she explains it with an incredible empathy for herself, saying that it too shall pass, and it was honestly pretty amazing to listen to because I've never heard anyone articulate depression in such a way. highly recommend! ❤️

#writing advice #sentence length variation #word choice #details #specificity #I don't know what to tag this #parts of speech #sensory details #Youtube

[leviathiane]

YEEHAW A LAD GOT A NEW JOB

#depths' talks #went to the showcase celebration for my campus magazine today and finally met a bunch #of my art/writing woorkshop peers today!!!! #one of them offered to pay me for editing the novel hes writing!!!!! #ive never edited a full length published work like that but #he was so sweet about it #he was like 'listen during our workshops your writing was really good; and you gave feedback in a way that was both critical and encouraging #and asked to trade contact info to help him with his book #i ABSOLUTELY agreed. ive read his work before in said workshops #hes an older asian war vet immigrant #hes got really interesting stuff to say. his writing was genuinely captivating to read #its all just got a lot of technical issues. pacing padding and grammatical fixes and sentence structure variation #all things i am more than equipped to help with #im so excited sakjdnbhads not just for the money but to help out and also get more official works on my resume LMFAO #my first and only true book publishing was for nonfiction as a youth mental health survey #everything ive published and posted officially has been short form works like poetry prose and flash fiction #itll be nice to work on something a bit more respected in a way? not that my other accomplishments ARENT respectable #but this will give my experience and rep a good hefty boost #plus it means i have a summer job sdajnbhdasjnds one that PAYS #tutoring pays well but its semester adjacent #i dont usually post irl stuff on this tumblr bc its fandom work specific but YEE FUCKING HAW #also bc i promised a couple readers to inform if/when i published original work #of which i already have plenty of actually if anyone wants my OG stuff

[describe-things]

This post is made with speech to text because my hand hurts from typing so much today. Please forgive any typos or speech to text swapping similar sounding words.

If you would like to start writing your own image descriptions, feel free to ask any questions.

The main things to keep in mind is that they should begin with some variation of image description start or ID, and end with some variation of image description and, and ID or something like that. This distinguish the image description from the caption or anything else.

Image descriptions should not be written in italics, bold, all caps, or any colors. If text in the image is in all caps, write it in regular case, and simply note before or after it that it's in all caps.

Image descriptions should describe all images in the post, without skipping any. This includes images that are nothing but text.

Plain text image descriptions in the body of the post are more accessible than alt text alone, because many people who need image descriptions cannot use alt text, and Tumblr is known for its glitches, so the accessibility of the alt text all by itself varies widely over time.

It is more accessible to have the image descriptions indented than not, because this helps to visually separate the image description from the caption. Having brackets or parentheses at the end is also helpful for this. This allows people to easily distinguish between the caption and the image description if they need to.

If you are an artist, writing image descriptions for your art will give you full control over the image description, and will allow you to correctly identify details that others might miss. This gives you the opportunity to show which parts of your art hold meaning to you and are important to notice.

If you are describing real people who are unknown to you, unless it is specified within the post or you are already aware, please do not assign any gendered terms to them, or any " male presenting or female presenting" terms like that. This is completely unnecessary and leads to misgendering. It is best to simply describe visible facts about the people. Hair color, length, clothes and style, pose, expression, the light or darkness of their skin, things like that. Do not assume that someone is white simply because they have light skin.

Do not use image descriptions to lie to the audience in any way and do not use image descriptions to make jokes where the audience reading the image description is the butt of the joke.

As an example, if there is a very clearly fake screenshot, do not say that it is simply a screenshot, or if a photo is very blatantly photoshopped, do not say that it is simply a photo. Say an edited photo, a badly edited photo, a screenshot with editing, something like that to indicate the changes have been made and then what you are going to be describing is not the natural version.

As an example, you would say a crab photoshopped to be driving a car. Rather than a photo of a crab driving a car.

Unless you are transcribing a text within the image, do not use meme speak within image descriptions. Do not refer to dogs as doggos for example, unless it is to specify that the dog in the image is, within the image, labeled as a doggo. Do not describe someone walking downstairs as breasted bubbly downstairs, even if it is an actor humorously walking down the stairs to imitate that sentence. Describe the facts of the movements, and then you can make the comparison for clarity.

If someone adds an image description to your post whether this be an original post or a reblog that you have added an image to, it doesn't matter how many notes to post already has, please copy and paste that image description into the original post or your original reblog. If it is a new post that has only a few notes from friends, after you update the original, you can just ask your friends to delete the reblogs of the inaccessible version and reblog the new one. Most people who are good people and care about disabled people will happily do so.

Keep in mind that image descriptions are accessibility tools. Treat them as such.

Anyone can write image descriptions. You do not need any special qualifications or training. As long as you are willing to take constructive criticism if you make a mistake, an image description written by someone who's new to it and honestly doing their best with good intentions is better than no image description at all.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some things, so please feel free to add on more tips and advice.

#made with speech to text #image descriptions #accessability #disabled #cripplepunk #neuropunk #autistic #adhd #if you care about disabled people #start writing image descriptions #especially if you're able-bodied

[megu-meow]

cinnamon girl - sukuna

sukuna x fem. reader (reader is Nanami's sister)

Part 3 of my Hockey Player Sukuna Series - Part 1 - Part 2

Lmk if you want to be added to the tag list! :D

This road trip is Sukuna's worst nightmare. Firstly, they're playing his old team in Kyoto, the one he left in the middle of the season in questionable circumstances. His last month with the team was in no way pleasant, he was benched and constantly frowned upon by his teammates. The moment he heard about his trade offer to the Wizards he jumped on it and left without saying goodbye to anyone. He knew he's gonna get roughed up during the two back-to-back games ahead of him and that the tension would be high while in Kyoto. Secondly, Nanami was breathing down his neck constantly, keeping an eye on him 24/7. Sukuna cursed himself for not being more subtle about the way he approached you, he loathed the attention he was getting from your brother. He still wanted his approval, now more than anything, but he was not sure about the price he had to pay to get it. Sukuna was a loner. Despite having good relationships with his teammates and brothers, he preferred being alone. He found most people bothersome and downright annoying. So having Nanami around him every second of the day was a nuisance and that's putting it lightly.

"Is it really necessary that you follow me around all day?" he asked, irritation clear in his tone.

"You want my approval or not?" the blonde questions. It is not like he was pleased with the situation either, but he needed to be thorough with his background checks. Your heart was fragile and he was determined to protect it with all his might.

"I do, but is it really necessary for you to follow me around all day? What's next? Are you going to hold my dick while I piss too?"

Nanami frowns. He might have gone a teensy bit overboard, considering how tame Sukuna's days have been so far. He has a very strict and particular routine that he follows without fail. He wakes up at 6 and hits the gym for exactly an hour and forty-three minutes. After that, he takes a shower and eats breakfast, the same thing every time. Four eggs, four slices of bacon, and an obnoxiously large serving of salad. Then he calls his brothers. Yuji always answers, because they have the same schedule and this is his downtime as well. Choso, however, sometimes has clients, in those instances, his call goes to voicemail. He usually listens to Yuji's rambling for about half an hour, afterward, he hangs up, sometimes in the middle of the sentence, and starts getting ready for team practice. The length of that varies based on the coach's plans for the day, but the routine after is all the same. He goes to physical therapy, showers, puts on a sweatsuit, and returns to the hotel. He has lunch, again, the same thing every day, in different variations. He then takes a nap and wakes up two hours before the game. He doesn't even try to memorize his pre-game routine at the arena, because it's insane. From taping his hockey sticks to putting on his gear in a peculiar way, Nanami has seen everything. One thing that stands out during his daily routine is texting you because he does that constantly. Nanami knows it's you because when it's anyone else he's frowning, his expression depicts nothing but disgust. But when it's you he's smiling, he scoffs sometimes, probably because you said something unhinged. Most of the time, he is grinning like a man in love. Nanami considers entertaining the thought that he actually is in fact in love with you, but that would be crazy. Nonetheless, it is clear as a day and without a doubt that he is infatuated by you.

Sukuna's demeanor changes on the last day of the road trip, on the day of their last game in Kyoto. He is agitated, downright distressed. Nanami doesn't understand this sudden change, sure, these last couple of games have been rough on him, the unhinged comments thrown his way by his ex-teammates might have gotten to him, but they didn't seem to bother him up to this point. Something must have happened.

"Dude, stop bouncing your leg, the whole room is quaking!" Satoru whines during team dinner, imploring Sukuna.

"Shut your mouth, Gojo, unless you want to go home to your girlfriend without your dick attached." he bites back with a frightening aura.

"That's enough!" Nanami explodes, grabbing Sukuna by the collar of his dress shirt, and dragging him out. The pink-haired centerman does not fight back, despite the sheer size difference between the two of them. He could easily dominate Kento in this situation, but he refuses to.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" the blonde questions "No bullshit, Sukuna, I can tell that you're on the edge."

His tatted face contorts - the last person he wants to mutter the following words to is standing in front of him. He never talks about his problems anyway, but this is utterly uncomfortable.

"She's ghosting me," he whispers, unable to hold eye contact with Nanami.

"What?"

"You heard me, Captain! Don't fucking try to convince me to repeat myself." he explodes, shaking the blonde's hands off his shoulders, trying to leave the room.

"Why? Did you do something?" Nanami's voice is nothing but emphatic. It makes Sukuna's shoulders deflate as he takes a deep breath.

"No." he says "I don't think so."

"Do you want me to talk to her?"

"No! It's her decision, if she doesn't want to talk to me, I'm alright with that. It's just frustrating. I've been trying to act my best around you to get your blessing, but apparently, it was for nothing. What a pain."

Nanami sees right through his unbothered facade. He smiles, knowing that this idiot in front of him is down bad for his sister. That's why he calls you, to find out why you've been avoiding him.

"Why aren't you talking to Sukuna?" he asks after listening to your rambling about how fun of a day you had with Sophia and how Senna had chocolate milk coming out of her nose from one of Akane's jokes.

"Ugh, he told you about that too?" you sigh in frustration "You know, I really thought he was different, that he didn't talk shit about girls. He despises talking to the team about his conquests and relationships. I thought he would keep this on the down low, at least until our first date. And what does he do? He tells everyone in the locker room the first chance he gets."

"I was the one to question him about it," Nanami explains and your eyes widen "He doesn't talk shit. He only told me, so that I would give him my approval. He didn't want to go behind my back, he basically told me his intentions."

The way Sophia phrased it to you it sounded like Sukuna disgustingly blabbed to the entire team. The information your brother presented to you changes everything, your irritation with Sukuna disappears in an instant, but it's quickly replaced with guilt.

"Is he mad?" you ask timidly.

"Totally livid, downright lunatic." he says, his tone light, which makes you giggle. "Do you like him, Bambi?"

You think about it for a second. For the last couple of days, Sukuna has been nothing but a gentleman. He still annoyed you to no end, but he also sent you good morning and good night text every day. He texted you at every chance he got, telling you about his day, making you laugh at his stories about Satoru and how he loathes him. He listened to you complain about your unfair boss and your new annoying co-worker, about the shenanigans of your cat. He also sent a bouquet of sunflowers to your office, claiming that he finds any other type of flower stupid. "They're useless. At least with these ones, you can pull out the seeds, roast them, and use them for salads." he explains. Even thinking about him makes you smile.

"Yeah, I do like him." you say confidently and Nanami sighs. He cannot argue with that.

"Just text him back, Bambi."

"I will. Is that you giving your blessing, big bro?" you tease, making Nanami hang up the phone without saying goodbye. You laugh and you switch to the Messages app on your phone straight away.

However, Sukuna never takes his phone to the arena, because it's a distraction from his routine. So he doesn't see your message, making him go on a full rampage during the game. He's thrown to the sin bin at least six times for checking his opponents too hard, and he's constantly spewing insults at his ex-teammates, some of them personal, some of them just usual guy stuff.

"Hey Nanami-san! How is that sexy little fox of a sister of yours? I would really like to take her on a ride on my Zamboni if you know what I'm getting at." Mahito, the other team's first-line defenceman chirps the captain, and before Kento can react, he sees Sukuna fly by, with his gloves off, landing a powerful punch to the guy's face. Geto swears that the punch flashes black, which is not surprising, considering he and Gojo have a flair for the dramatic. The pink-haired lunatic lands punch after punch with a ruthless expression. This goes on until Mahito falls to the ice and the referees separate the two. As he is escorted towards the penalty box, Sukuna turns back to the defenceman and deliriously spits at him:

"Know your place, fool!"

Sukuna is thrown out of the game after that. You watch him on television, as he leaves the ice with a smile on his face, seemingly proud of himself for beating a living shit out of someone. But the fight gets the boys going, closing this road trip with a 7-1 win against the Kyoto team.

"Oh, Bambi..." you hear Senna's voice from beside you, a cheeky grin on her face. Sometimes you wonder how Satoru found a girl so similar to him. They are basically the same person, just different gender.

"What?"

"You sooooooo have the hots for Sukuna!" Akane teases.

"I do not!"

"Yeah, you do! But no worries, girl, we've been there. Guys are so hot when they fight." Senna explains.

"Sophia! Please tell these two that they are delusional." you look at your sister-in-law, imploring her to get you out of the uncomfortable situation.

"You are soooooo delusional, Bambi!" you hear her say and Senna starts laughing like a hyena. You huff out in frustration as you grab your phone to check if Sukuna texted you back. As soon as you see the message notification on the screen, a deep blush forms on your face and you cannot help, but smile.

"I will be expecting a warm welcome after getting home, sweet girl. It's utterly disrespectful to ignore someone who's trying so hard to win you over, my fragile little heart needs pampering." his text says.

And warm welcome he gets. On Sunday, at brunch. As soon as you see him step into the cafe, you stand up from your seat, going up to him, embracing his giant figure in a tight hug, whispering how sorry you are for ignoring him. At first, he is stiff, but after a couple of seconds, he relaxes, putting his bulky arms around your shoulders, inhaling your scent.

Nanami watches the whole scenario from his seat, content with the picture in front of him. The two of you arrived earlier, Sukuna insisted that the two of you have the time to catch up as siblings, another reason why Kento is pleased momentarily with his decision. He thinks back to the conversation he had with Sukuna after the game the night before.

"Thank you, for standing up for my sister, but you shouldn't have fought. That was stupid, we need you on the ice, Sukuna!" he scolds the pink-haired centerman.

"That bastard deserved what he got. And you guys did well without me anyway."

"I don't care, don't fight, you moron."

"I cannot make such promises." he grins.

"Can you promise not to hurt my sister?"

Sukuna's jaw drops at the blunt question, but he smiles nonetheless.

"Yeah, I can promise that, Captain!"

"Alright. One bad word from her, one teardrop, one disrespectful comment from you and you're done for, you understand?"

"Yes." Sukuna nods "Thank you, Kento."

However, Nanami regrets his decision during brunch. Because neither you nor Sukuna can keep your eyes off each other, the two of you share the stories of what you've been up to while you were apart, despite talking about them through messages. Nanami never felt so useless as he felt in that moment - third wheeling is truly a chore. But now he understands why you banned Sophia from Sibling Brunch because you felt the same way every time she joined. He feels terrible for only realizing this now, but the damage has been done, and he swears he's not going to push her presence at these events anymore. Nonetheless, Kento is glad to observe the dynamic between the two of you, the banter, the laughs, and the scoffs. It seems so fluid and easygoing as if the two of you knew each other through your whole lives. Sukuna seems so much softer, his rough and downright mean aura is replaced by a smile that reaches his ears, so genuine it's nearly frightening.

"Hey, Ken?" you ask, looking at him with sparkly eyes. "Sukuna and I are going on a walk, is that alright?"

"Sure. Take care!" he says and he embraces you, then shakes hands with his teammate. They have one of those silent conversations that boys have, but Kento leaves without saying anything else, but he makes sure to smile at you, as a sign that he is okay with this.

As you and Sukuna walk down the street to the park, you cannot help but ask him:

"Soooo... Is this our first date?" He looks at you in disbelief, he seems offended even.

"Do you really think that I am sloppy enough to take you here for our first date? I am a gentleman, y/n, this is what 15-year-old boys would consider a date, not me."

"Is that so? Then, when are you gonna take me on a real date?" you tease, but you're nervous that he might have changed his mind since he asked you out. You try not to show that, but Sukuna is perceptive. He knows, but he chooses not to comment on it.

"Really soon, sweetheart. Really soon."

🩵 Tag list: @ichorstainedskin @ureuphoriasworld @new-weather47 @deepchromatose @cvr2mya 🩵

#ryomen sukuna #sukuna fluff #sukuna ryomen #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #sukuna #sukuna imagine #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x you #jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen imagines #Ren Writes - Sukuna ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

[nanowrimo]

5 Essential Tips for Mastering Scene Writing in Your Novel

There's many parts involved when writing a scene. Knowing how these different pieces work together may help you move forward in your novel. NaNo Participant Amy de la Force offers some tips on brushing up your scene writing knowledge. Scenes are the building blocks of a novel, the stages where characters spring to life, conflicts brew and emotions run high. Mastering the art of scene writing is crucial for any aspiring writer, especially in the lead-up to NaNoWriMo. But what is a scene, and how do you effectively craft one? 

What is a Scene? 

A scene is a short period of time — in a set place — that moves the story forward with dramatic conflict that reveals character, generally through dialogue or action. Think of writing a scene as a mini-story with a beginning, middle and end, all contributing to the narrative. 

Why Scene Writing is Your Secret Weapon in Storytelling

Well-crafted scenes enhance your story to develop characters, advance the plot, and engage readers through tension and emotion. Whether you're writing a novel, short story or even non-fiction, scenes weave the threads of your story together.

Tip #1: Scenes vs. Sequels

According to university lecturer Dwight Swain in Techniques of the Selling Writer, narrative time can be broken down into not just scenes, but sequels. 

Scene

The 3 parts of a scene are:

Goal: The protagonist or point-of-view (POV) character’s objective at the start of the scene.

Conflict: For dramatic conflict, this is an equally strong combination of the character’s ‘want + obstacle’ to their goal. 

Disaster: When the obstacle wins, it forces the character’s hand to act, ratcheting up tension. 

Sequel 

Similarly, Swain’s sequels have 3 parts:

Reaction: This is the POV character’s emotional follow-up to the previous scene’s disaster. 

Dilemma: If the dramatic conflict is strong enough, each possible next step seems worse than anything the character has faced.  

Decision: The scene’s goal may still apply, but the choice of action to meet it will be difficult. 

Tip #2: Questions to Ask Yourself Before Writing a Scene

In Story Genius, story coach and ex–literary agent Lisa Cron lists 4 questions to guide you in scene writing:

What does my POV character go into the scene believing?

Why do they believe it?

What is my character’s goal in the scene?

What does my character expect will happen in this scene?

Tip #3: Writing Opening and Closing Scenes

Now that we know more about scene structure and character considerations, it’s time to open with a bang, or more to the point, a hook. Forget warming up and write a scene in the middle of the action or a conversation. Don’t forget to set the place and time with a vivid description or a little world-building. To end the scene, go for something that resolves the current tension, or a cliffhanger to make your scene or chapter ‘unputdownable’. 

Tip #4: Mastering Tension and Pacing 

A benefit to Swain’s scenes and sequels is that introspective sequels tend to balance the pace by slowing it, building tension. This pacing variation, which you can help by alternating dialogue with action or sentence lengths, offers readers the mental quiet space to rest and digest any action-packed scenes. 

Tip #5: Scene Writing for Emotional Impact

For writing a scene, the top tips from master editor Sol Stein in Stein on Writing are:

Fiction evokes emotion, so make a list of the emotion(s) you want readers to feel in your scenes and work to that list.

For editing, cut scenes that don’t serve a purpose (ideally, several purposes), or make you feel bored. If you are, your reader is too. 

Conclusion

From understanding the anatomy of a scene to writing your own, these tips will help elevate your scenes from good to unforgettable, so you can resonate with readers.

Amy de la Force is a YA and adult speculative fiction writer, alumna of Curtis Brown Creative's selective novel-writing program and Society of Authors member. The novel she’s querying longlisted for Voyage YA’s Spring First Chapters Contest in 2021. An Aussie expat, Amy lives in London. Check her out on Twitter, Bluesky, and on her website! Her books can be found on Amazon. Photo by cottonbro studio

#nanowrimo #writing #writing advice #scene writing #writing scenes #plotting #by nano guest #amy de la force

[nobodyfamousposts]

Why Scarlet Lady Is Better Than Canon: Lila Rossi

I had mentioned before at length regarding my distaste, dislike, and dissatisfaction with the character of Lila Rossi in Miraculous Ladybug canon. A character so horrible, so poorly written, and so two dimensional that I did not think it was possible to make any iteration of her I wouldn’t dislike.

And yet it seems @zoe-oneesama has come through for me yet again in Scarlet Lady by taking what was quite possibly one of my biggest issues and most despised characters within canon and with only a few changes, turning her into something enjoyable. Dare I even say…likable.

More than that, even. It says something when my least favorite character in Miraculous Ladybug canon can somehow become one of my top favorite characters in a different variation of it. 

It’s because Zoe shows an understanding of the characters and what makes them engaging, and other than SL Adrien, it shows the most in the form of SL Lila.

See, Canon Lila Rossi is a selfish, manipulative, egotistical, petty, and self-centered liar.

Scarlet Lady Lila Rossi, on the other hand, is a selfish, manipulative, egotistical, petty, and self-centered liar.

Now I’m sure all of you are looking at those two sentences and noting that they’re the same thing. And you are right. That’s the point! Because the difference between the two versions isn’t who Lila is but rather in how the narrative and writing treat her and what Lila ends up doing because of it. And it’s why Scarlet Lady is superior in its handling of Lila.

Lila in Scarlet Lady is not a good person. Nor does she become a good person. She admits that she lies for fun and just to see how far she can take it. She’s fully on board with continuing her lies and trying to fool her mom and the school to get away with staying out of school for a year. This is all in lines with regular Canon Lila and shows that they are still the same person, it’s just the events and situation and narrative that differentiate them. It’s in how the Scarlet Lady story handles Lila and her character.

For the sake of convenience, I'm going to be using Scarlet Lady to refer to the comic itself and Scar to refer to Chloe's hero identity specifically.

Let’s review and compare Lila in Scarlet Lady to canon:

1. Lila in Scarlet Lady is NOT a plot device. 

She doesn’t need to be. It’s clear that the plot is and has been moving forward on its own without her. Even if Lila were to have been removed from Scarlet Lady altogether, it’s pretty evident from everything else that’s been happening that we would still be getting to some plots and story points without too much difference or delay.

Scarlet Lady has a natural progression. The story and characters aren’t so rooted in the status quo that sudden additional character like Lila or Felix are necessary to throw in just to move things along. And Lila isn’t simply forgotten about when she’s not needed to do so. She doesn’t vanish without an explanation only to return also without explanation just to be able to force the plot to move.

Events within a story can be dependent on the characters, but the plot itself should not be dependent on what feels like a third party to show up and force things to happen when they should already be happening. That speaks of bad writing.

Canon Lila existed for the purpose of getting the Grimoire into Marinette’s hands so she could be the one to take it to Fu and learn about the Guardian and Miraculous secrets, as well as to be a future helper to Hawk Moth. Up until that point, the plot had done nothing with Fu and had done nothing to move things forward in learning about the Miraculous or why Hawk Moth would want the specific two. And after Volpina, the episodes that feature Lila are the ones that display more plot progression or involve Hawk Moth having layers to his plans. Lila only appears when she’s to be used to further a plot, then disappears until needed again.

In Scarlet Lady, by the time Lila appears, it’s already clear to Adrien, Plagg, and Fu that Scar is a horrible person and that she had no business being a hero. It’s also clear that Adrien is handling the hero work on his own and needs help. This is part of what causes Adrien to know that Lila is a liar and call her out on his own because in addition to Lila stealing his book, he already knows Scar well enough to know Lila’s story of Scar saving her would never happen. Lila isn’t the reason they find this out, nor is she the reason that the book is discovered and gets to the Guardian because Plagg chooses for himself to take Adrien to Fu. And afterwards, Lila’s appearances are more natural. Plot progression happens with and without her. Her appearances involve her interacting with her classmates like a person. They don’t have to have a plot-relevant purpose.

Narratively, there are three reasons to put in a scene.

Plot

Expansion/information/character focus

Entertainment

In canon, all of Lila's scenes are plot-focused and plot-driving.

In Scarlet Lady, they vary. Some are plot (like Lila's anti-Scar attitude getting more focus and validity over time). But more of Lila's scenes are focus in on her character and entertainment. This builds Lila as a person and makes her enjoyable to watch.

Lila is not a plot device as the plot doesn’t NEED her to progress. But that’s not to say that Lila doesn’t matter…

2. Lila has a role that nobody else in the story could cover.

As I’ve stated before, Canon Lila is pretty much another Chloe and there was nothing she was used for that Chloe couldn’t have or wouldn’t have been able to do. As a rival/foil to Marinette, as another love interest for Adrien, and even as a helper to Hawk Moth—by the time Lila started any of these roles, Chloe was already there and fully capable of filling them.

In Scarlet Lady, due to Scar being the hero Lila is butting heads with and being outted earlier on, SL Lila ends up not filling those same “roles”. She’s not a rival to Scar or Marinette, just a hater/critic of the former and a friend to the latter. She was called out by Adrien so she is shown to have no further interest in trying to pursue him. And as of yet, there has been nothing of Lila helping Hawk Moth.

Instead, Lila’s scenes show her engaging with the other classmates. More of the results of her being revealed as a liar. Her being a queen of sass and snark. And most importantly, her going head to head with Chloe and Scarlet Lady in verbal lashings that prove her silver tongue is no duller for people knowing of it.

In fact, she’s a part of people starting to realize that Scar is in fact horrible and her popularity starts to break down. 

Yes, yes, we do have both Adrien and Marinette who realize how horrible Scarlet Lady is and hate her, but other than some snarky comments at her expense, they don’t do much about it. Mostly because they can’t. Especially early on, it’s clear that they’re forced to keep Scar around because as useless as she is otherwise, she is the only one who can purify the akuma and undo the damage. And as Fu has told them, Scar is still too popular with the city that trying to take the earrings from her would result in more problems. The two of them have to focus on dealing with the akumas more than trying to deal with Scar. Plus let’s be real: even as snarky as they both can get, they’re just too nice.

Others are also similarly of no help. Alya is still completely wrapped in Scar’s facade of a hero to see how selfish and unheroic she is. Most of the other classmates also go along with this narrative. But even the ones who DO know like Alix and Nino aren’t that active. They know but they don’t do anything with that knowledge.

Lila has no such barriers. She’s not a hero. She doesn’t know how “necessary” Scar is in akuma battles. And she doesn’t have to worry about not upsetting Scar since the “hero” already hates her. And thanks to Marinette and the other classmates with their “we still care about you for you” bit, she now has no reason to put up a mask…or a filter.

This makes Lila in prime position to try to push more against Scarlet Lady’s popularity and talk at length about how horrible she actually is. Something she is MORE than happy to do.

Lila is essentially the first main civilian hater of Scarlet Lady.

And with that in mind…

3. Lila’s actions are reasonable. Perhaps not intelligent, but they are reasonable.

She commits a number of the same acts as canon in Volpina. Stealing Adrien’s book, buying a necklace to be a fake Miraculous, trying to claim herself as the hero’s best friend for attention, and trying to claim she is a hero herself to get Adrien’s attention.

SL Lila is not a master manipulator or an up and coming villain. We are not expected to view her as a real threat to anything except Chloe’s ego.

Sure, she wants to speedrun the popularity and attention and maybe a nice rich blond boytoy to be her arm candy, but it’s clear in the very first comic she appears in that Lila has NO IDEA what sort of people she’s interacting with or telling lies about, and so has no way to prepare for what happens. First in that Adrien is so DONE with everything that he calls her out himself from the get go. Second in that Scarlet Lady appears to “save” Adrien from Lila’s lies when it was no longer necessary, proclaims aloud to the multitude of bystanders that Lila is a fraud, and then dumps her in a fountain for good measure and further insults her to boot. And at the end of it all, Scar doesn’t apologize for her actions, doubles down, and only further insults Lila. And as if all of that wasn’t bad enough, still being wet AND being on top of the Eiffel Tower results in her getting sick.

As such, Lila’s hatred of the Ladybug Hero in this version of events feels more understandable and based on a legitimate grievance. Several even. Scar’s actions go well beyond canon’s version. We clearly see how hurt and humiliated Lila is. Plus we have all of Scar’s previous antics to look back on and…well, we already came into this with more reason to hate Scarlet Lady than Lila, and Lila simply jumped on the bandwagon that was already there.

It also makes more sense then that Lila never even pretends to forgive Scar. Scar never apologized. She caused emotional and physical harm to Lila. And unlike Ladybug, Scar never tried to make an offer of friendship so Lila isn’t losing out on any opportunities out of spite. Heck, Scar’s treatment of Alya shows us that there is nothing to be gained from even pretending to be a fan of Scar. So Lila’s hatred of Scar is understandable and her refusal to be friends with Scar makes perfect sense.

When she hides away at her home, there’s a valid reason behind it due to her being sick. Her “plan” to fool her mom and the school in order to avoid going back also makes sense given the fallout she knows she would have to face if she did. (At least more sense than it made in canon for her to disappear for months just because Ladybug outted her to one guy who clearly seemed to be on her side more and neither of them did anything to inform anyone else of the truth.)

And when she returns to the school and the classmates, it isn’t out of nowhere. Once she was no longer sick, she was planning to continue some ruse. We clearly see how despondent Lila was over her situation and the feeling that she’s on her own and no one would side with her over Scar. This was deep. It shows real fears and feelings on Lila’s part. And it’s telling that it was the assurance from Marinette and support from her classmates that convinced her to rejoin the class. It doesn’t look like she would have had the willingness or perhaps the courage to do so if Marinette hadn’t reassured Lila that they had her back and had taken steps to try and help her, even when she wasn’t there and as of yet had done nothing to warrant it.

Here we see a Lila who is vulnerable and real. Who is clearly impacted by events on a deeper and more personal and meaningful level—or at least better than “GRR! Superhero revealed I was lying about her to a boy I like! I shall join the terrorist attacking the city and potentially destroy the WORLD for revenge!”

In this way, Lila is portrayed more like a normal girl. Since the narrative isn’t trying to play her off like she’s supposed to be some master manipulator the way canon does, Lila for all intents and purposes IS a normal teenage girl. A normal teenage girl who was humiliated and injured by someone with more power and social status than she can fight back against. She’s less of an archetype and more of a person with her own thoughts and feelings and ultimately choices which—even if we don’t like or agree with, we can at least see and understand.

Her actions are reasonable. Not just in that we as the audience can empathize with them but that they make sense. For Lila’s character, for her personality, and for someone in her position.

4. No plot armor.

SL Lila’s plans don’t just seamlessly work out. If anything, they go very wrong very quickly. Even before Scar calls her out, Adrien already made it clear that he knows she’s a liar. This effectively ruins her plan to try and get his interest and not just in the “Adrien being nice but not in to her” way. Furthermore, as she’s revealed as a liar in front of the entire class, we clearly see some of her classmates (Alya) continue to take issue with her later on. And even the ones who don’t have such issues are at least fully aware of Lila’s personality and don’t allow her to fool or manipulate them.

Sure, she still tries to manipulate her mom and the school to avoid having to go back, but that doesn’t last that long. And in Lila’s defense at that period of time, she was legitimately sick as a result of her dip in the fountain.

So it’s pretty clear that Lila lacks the plot armor that she had in canon. But it’s not just that Lila experiences losses, it’s also in the ways she succeeds. And unlike Canon Lila, SL Lila is not reliant on the plot to accomplish anything or make things work in her favor.

Some classmates still consider her friends. She’s still welcomed back—even with a bit more trepidation than before. She gets some epic zingers on Chloe and Scar. She got to have another interview with Alya just to be able to go on at length about how horrible Scar is. She manages to get on live TV just to heckle Scar. And over time, more and more people are seeing the problems with Scar.

Lila still gets some victories. Certainly not as many and not as big as what she gets in canon, but at least they don’t feel so forced. And they’re entertaining to see.

Which delves a bit more into an additional point I wanted to make…

5. There are consequences and responses to Lila and her lies.

With Canon Lila, everyone is in this weird sort of limbo where they automatically believe Lila JUST ENOUGH to not question her but at the same time NOT ENOUGH to actually follow through with some of her lies. In Chameleon, Lila claims to have and then magically be cured of Tinnitus and Bustier believes her just enough to rearrange the seats for her at her will but not enough to require some doctor’s note or confirmation of either the presence or recovery from the medical issue—even in the event the former could be overlooked, the latter could NOT and any school or teacher worth their salt would require SOME proof to discontinue an accommodation for someone with a disability because that would be a liability. In Ladybug, Lila claimed Marinette pushed her down stairs and the adults believed her just enough to admonish Marinette but not enough to get Lila actual medical attention, which is a liability and gross negligence. In Ono-chan, Nino believes Lila’s lies about needing Adrien to help tutor her just enough to give her an opening to go to his place but not enough to follow through, check up on her afterwards, or reasonably consider that maybe the supermodel with the super strict father might not be the best person to tutor her and he should ask for help from Max or Sabrina instead?

Each and every time, Lila is believed in the exact way she wants to the exact extent that would most benefit her with minimal effort on her part when it shouldn’t work that way. Even if we disregard how stupidly obvious many of her lies are, there is something wrong when they believe her enough to trust what she says over anyone else telling them otherwise but not enough to follow through on what that belief should then involve. They believe her when she says someone pushed her down the stairs but not enough to get her medical attention? Make sure she has no broken bones or internal bleeding? This has the issue of ruining the suspension of disbelief and making it look like the problem isn’t Lila being amazingly smart and evil so much as it is everyone around Lila being infuriatingly stupid and negligent.

Scarlet Lady nixes that problem in one episode by having Lila be revealed as a liar immediately, but furthermore follows up on it and the fallout of those lies. Nothing big or major or life-ruining—it’s middle school, after all. But the impact is still there.

Even episodes later, we see effects of Lila’s earlier lies. Chloe of course keeps referencing them in their encounters and yeah, it is reason for no one to really take Lila’s word against Scar’s—at least at first. Alya and Adrien both give her some pretty evil looking stares, showing that even five episodes later they both still very much remember what she did and do not approve of her getting free jewelry. Alya in particular stands out. She is shown to bear such a grudge against Lila for lying on her blog that she holds no sympathy for her being sick. And in the second intermission, she looks physically pained when she has to ask Lila for an interview on why she hates Scar. Something she had apparently sworn she would never do again after being fooled the first time. And something Lila looks completely overjoyed to do. There are people who are angry with Lila. They have every reason and every right to be. But it doesn’t have to mean the end of the world for her. It just means that there needs to be something.

The classmates don’t have to be made out to be stupid to make Lila work. They are canonically very kind and forgiving people. But canon makes them come off that way more because the lack of continuity seems to erase the lessons of previous episodes or somehow make them forget that certain people are horrible.

Zoe fixes this and a lot of problems in canon by having not just the classmates but EVERYONE in Paris remember and respond to things that have happened previously, even if just in little ways. Given how little room Zoe has to work with, this is HUGE. Simply adding comments here and there puts the scenes from canon in a new light and makes the classmates feel more fleshed out and like…dare I say it: PEOPLE.

The difference from Canon has a lot to do with how everyone else reacts to Lila, which makes these other characters and Lila appear more real and like fleshed out people rather than caricatures who only exist and move as the plot requires. They don’t have to bash Lila or try to light her on fire for it to be clear that Lila isn’t a good person and that there are consequences to her actions.

This is all leading up to the real possibility of…

6. Character arc?

It says something that contrary to most expectations, Lila is not what one would consider to be redeemed in Scarlet Lady. Lila is not a good person here just because she rejoins the class and becomes their friend and Zoe at no point tries to pretend that she is.

Marinette and other classmates made the choice to reach out and try to befriend Lila, but unlike most other arcs in other stories, this doesn’t result in Lila being redeemed. And she in no way got Lila to admit she was wrong and try to be a good person. 

Lila is not necessarily forgiven or absolved of what she did. Nor is anything Lila did magically erased. All Marinette did and all she had to do was encourage Lila to not run away now that the truth was out. She helped convince her to return to the class with everyone fully knowing what she’s done and the type of person that she is and move forward with that. She informs Lila that despite her lies, there are people in the class who genuinely care about her and are worried about her. 

Hell, it’s not even all up to Marinette. We see Alix sending messages to Lila encouraging her to join the class for Marinette’s birthday party. Sabrina fully admitted to inviting Lila to that party. Same with Rose, who has also been expressed to be worried about Lila. There are members of the class who are shown to care about her and who were noted to have made an effort to help Lila even after what had happened. Because they consider her a friend despite what she did, and that’s what friends do. All they asked was that Lila stop with the lies, stop with running away, and give people a chance.

And the result is the more mellow but passive aggressive Lila Rossi we see in Scarlet Lady. Not a Lila who is a good person or who is redeemed. This is a Lila who is at least honest with everyone about the sort of person that she is. She’s not pretending like she was in canon. She’s not being fake. She’s not putting on a mask of niceness anymore. This is a Lila who is fully acknowledged by everyone to have been a liar, to still be very selfish, and in some ways...a bad influence.

With a few episodes left, perhaps there is more we’ll see of Lila’s development and who she’ll become. Maybe we’ll get to see her take the steps to become better. To be a good friend, a good person, and maybe even a better hero than Scar. I don’t know for sure just yet what Zoe has planned for a character like Lila, but I do know what I see here:

A good start.

#ml analysis #scarlet lady #scarlet lady is better than canon #lila rossi #lila salt #for zoe #merry christmas

[novlr]

Add variation to your writing

If your writing ever starts to feel flat and lifeless, vary your sentence structure!

Often, repetitive writing is due to nothing more than unvaried sentence length. If the rhythm feels repetitive, the writing will usually feel the same way.

#quick writing tips #writers #creative writing #writing #writing community #writers of tumblr #creative writers #writing inspiration #writeblr #writerblr #writing tips #writblr #writers corner #writing advice #tips for writers #helping writers #help for writers #writing help #writer #writing resources #writers on tumblr #writers and poets #on writing #writer stuff #let's write #advice for authors #how to write

[deancasbigbang]

Title: A Hard Place

Author: Deanna

Artist: parhelion_ava

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel Novak; Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore; Dean/Meg (one time); Castiel/Mick (one time); Dean/Robin (one time)

Length: 90000

Warnings: undefined

Tags: Professor Castiel Novak; student/rockstar Dean Winchester; BDSM AU; dom Cas; sub Dean; flogging; rough sex; fluff; dom/sub drop; happy ending

Posting Date: October 19, 2023

Summary: Castiel Novak is a college Professor, who values education beyond all else. That is, until a certain rockstar enrolls in his class. As a Dom at the BDSM club “A Hard Place”, Castiel thinks he’ll never find his perfect, permanent sub. When rockstar Dean Winchester needs to go back to college, he’s reluctant to do so. That is, until he meets his smoking hot Professor. Dean is torn between his Professor and a wing-masked Angel he meets at a BDSM club.

Excerpt: Towards the end of class, Castiel notices that some of the students have lost focus. A few girls have even attempted to take selfies with the rockstar. If there had been more time left in their session, Castiel might have said something. Instead, he decides to assign a prompt for the students to work on over the weekend, asking them what they hope to gain out of this class. To wrap things up, Castiel writes his name on the whiteboard behind his desk, along with his phone number. “All my contact information is on the syllabus, but I like my students to be able to reach me anytime, so feel free to write down this number as well. You may address me as Castiel, Mr. Novak, or any variation of the word ‘professor’.” Castiel uses actual air quotes, eliciting a laugh from the class. Nearly all the students are writing down the information, while Mr. Famous takes out his phone and snaps a picture of the whiteboard. Dean then leans over to the girl next to him, nudges her with his elbow and whispers, “Scored the teacher’s number on day one, huh?” He wiggles his eyebrows at her and she blushes, giggling to her peers. Castiel, however, is not so amused. He dismisses the class, but stops Dean when he reaches the front of the classroom. “Mr. Winchester. Please stay behind for a moment.” “Ugh, man, please stop calling me that…” Dean groans as he leans on Castiel’s desk. Castiel stands from where he was seated, hoping to loom over the man, but finds that he is in fact shorter than Dean. Regardless, Castiel isn’t going to let a height difference interfere with their dynamic. This is Castiel’s classroom and he expects his students to respect that. “Of course, Mr. Winchester. As soon as you stop referring to me as ‘dude’ or ‘man’.” Dean huffs out a laugh. “Ha! Good one, professor. That better?” “Lose the attitude and we’re golden.” “Dude, I don’t -” “Dean.” Castiel drops his voice slightly to grab Dean’s attention and Castiel is very interested to know what the man is thinking when he sees Dean’s jaw tighten. “You may be famous amongst your peers, but to me you are just another student. While in this classroom, you are here to learn. You will show respect to myself and your peers, or else face the consequences.” “Consequences, huh?” Dean smirks. “What kinda consequences we talkin’ here?” “The kind where you fail my class.” Castiel replies shortly. He’s not taking anymore of this man’s crap. Dean’s face falls slightly and Castiel is glad to have put his foot down. “Man, you’re no fun.” Dean whines as he pushes off the desk. “I’m here to teach, Mr. Winchester. Not to have fun.” “Suit yourself, handsome.” Dean punctuates his sentence with a wink, then turns to leave the classroom. Castiel sighs. This is going to be a long semester, he grimaces.

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

#dcbb 2023 #fic preview #2023 promo #deancas #destiel

[mightymizora]

Hello mighty mizora! Big fan here of your work the way you write is so mesmerizing honestly im always in awe!! I have a small question i hope its not annoying i've asked this question to another writer who i liked once but they were so mean to me back so i understand that maybe its not the best question to be asked but i have ADHD and i need alittle direction so i hope maybe you can give me some (its totally okay if you dont want to ! ) Do you have any pointers to someone who has never wrote anything past school essays and to do lists if they want to start writing fanfiction and have it be nice and expressive? I have so many ideas i write them down write 5 sentences thats like a summray maybe a few sentences of some scenes of romance sorta like a small outline it feels so dry... And i dont know what to do past that... Essays had structures and preferred starting intros and all that but i feel lost when i try and start a story, i know myself and i know once i start i will not shut up but starting feels like a wall and i dont know how to climb yk ?

Hey pal!

Firstly thank you so much and also I'm sorry you had a bad experience with another writer. You've asked this so nicely. And apologies for this being delayed I thought I had clicked post but I'd saved the draft again!

So I'm not going to claim to be an expert in this but the way I approach this is:

I start with what I want to say with a piece. What do I want to explore? What do I hope the reader will take away from it? I then jot those down for myself at the top of the document, just like you describe with your summary! If this changes as I discover things that's okay, but it's kind of my road map.

I usually also start in the middle of some action, or with a line of dialogue. Honestly you don't have to do this at all but the joy of fanfiction is you don't have to do loads of exposition! People know who the characters are and you can dive into things! It means you get stuck right in which I personally like.

I also don't write chronologically! I think we can get so stuck on things. I think of writing a story like pruning a garden, so I might write some "holding sentences" per scene and then work on scenes as they come to me. It's a good way to build up the bits as you are inspired. You can see this really clearly in a piece like Blood and Bone which is very sparse, some of the holding sentences in that fic are still in there.

When it comes to dialogue, I use the actioning method used in acting and I work out what people want to do by saying something. I like when characters don't say things outright, but say a hundred words by what they don't say. A character can say I love you, and it's good, but what if they say I don't want you to leave? What is left in the gaps?

When it comes to description I think I have a long way to go honestly but again. What are people seeing, smelling, tasting, seeing touching? What is their primary sense? Does it evoke anything else for them, or are they entirely in the moment? This can vary from character to character.

Another thing to think of is variant rhythm. Once you have a first draft down, go over it again and look at sentence structure. Can you add variation by changing the length of sentences? Can you tell a story in the rhythms you use? I'm a big fan of long run on sentences in romance showing a character losing control, for example.

And the big secret honestly is... you might well find your writing a bit dry! I find mine dry! I look at it squinting, asking whether the sex is sexy or if it's just way too out there or just completely misses the mark. We only really know when other eyes get to see it.

I hope that's helpful!

#on writing #anons are always open for writing chat honestly #so if you want clarity lmk!

[physalian]

Writing with Executive Dysfunction (or how to lower the barrier of entry)

So you want to write a book, but all you have is a cool one-liner, a niche super power you want to explore, and the blurry image of a love interest with a two-syllable kind of name. You don’t know where to start, what to tackle first, how to jump in the deep end.

Can you write the ending first? What if you want this really cool gimmick in a fight scene but can’t write action to save your life? Do you start in media res or with a prologue, or with the character starting their daily routine? Do you write the villain’s POV first?

Or do you start with an outline, character sheets, a title, summary, your themes and motifs? How many pages and pages of worldbuilding notes should you have built up before you’re good to tackle the first page? You’ve heard time and again the critical importance of the first three sentences. The first chapter if your audience is generous.

The pressure mounts to be unique, but not try-hard, descriptive but not flowery, intriguing, but not confusing, all in the first hundred or so words. You sit there staring at the little blinking black line on your blank page… and the idea gets shelved for another day. It collects virtual dust in the backlogs of your computer, forgotten until you have to clear out space on your hard drive and stumble across unspent potential.

Everyone and their dog has their own bits of writing advice and I’m sure I’m about to echo tips that have been around the block once or twice, but there are a few I don’t see talked about enough.

Whether you suffer from severe procrastination, fear of failure before you even begin, the overwhelming limitlessness of choice, or just can’t sit down and dedicate any time to see what happens, this list might be for you.

1. Write Every Day

This is nothing new, but I’m going to tackle the implementation of such a habit over why it’s important. You already know why it’s important. Writing every day doesn’t demand a full page of a Word doc, or 200 words before you can get up and do something else. Sometime a witty dialogue exchange comes to mind while you’re doing dishes – write that down.

Or you saw a cool name for a character in a commercial – write that down.

Or you had a dream about your characters in a high-octane street chase – write down the synopsis.

Personally, I use Apple Notes. It’s free, I can log-in to iCloud through a browser and keep writing, and my phone is always with me. I have dedicated folders to sort which notes belong to which concepts.

Disclaimer: Apple Notes is meant for exactly that: Note taking. I take it to the extremes, but it’s not a word processer. It’s not meant for anything more strenuous than putting virtual pen to virtual paper.

I build up so many variations of scene ideas and concepts for character arcs that my ‘notes’ for any given book can be as long as a full-length novel. Most of the time, admittedly, those ideas get outdated fast as I move on to bigger and better things, but the point is this: I never would move on to better things if I didn’t have somewhere to start.

I have a personal grudge against OneDrive for a sync failure losing 20k words of a WIP, so most of my writing is done through Google Docs and saved to Google Drive. It’s not the most powerful word processor, but you don’t have to worry about formatting until the very end and can export later. It’s free, like Apple Notes (assuming you have an iPhone), and the smart phone app for Google programs works phenomenally better than the MS Word app – so once again, the barrier for being within reach of places to jot down ideas is lowered. My phone is always with me.

It doesn’t have to be digital – carry around a journal or a notebook or a legal pad if you want. Whatever gets your creative juices flowing. The point is to have somewhere to take all the ideas you have in your head and get them onto paper the moment inspiration strikes.

2. Writing is Supposed to be Fun

The dreaded writer’s block, scourge of authors everywhere. You’ve reached the point in your manuscript where you’ve caught up to the epic adventure you’ve written in your head. The little writer in your brain has gone on strike and you’re left in the doldrums of how to transition from one chapter to the next. One idea to the next. One scene, one line of dialogue.

Answer: Skip it.

Unless you have a hard deadline to make, writing is supposed to be fun. Your best work comes when you’re passionate about doing it, not when you’re holding your fingers hostage to put something on the page or else.

When you start getting frustrated, walk away. When you get stressed, walk away. The manuscript will still be there once you’ve slept on it for a day or two and you’ll be glad for it. Or, write a different scene. Write a hypothetical scene (more on this point later). Write anything you want and come back to the hard parts later. The gaps will fill eventually, and if they don’t—consider what about that transition or scene is so hard and consider axing it entirely. If it’s frustrating for you, it’s probably boring or unimportant to the reader.

3. Script it

My favorite writer’s crutch is to make a skeleton of the scene I want to have, fill it with dialogue, and move on. The pretty thematic narrative can come later. It’s halfway between an outline and a first draft and, for me, someone to whom dialogue comes easier than narrative, this is another barrier removed to letting creativity flow.

I don’t have to think about dialogue tags or movement of a scene or how exactly I want to structure a sentence or describe the setting. Scripting lets me sus out the pacing of a given scene, test run a conversation I have in my head to see if it might really work before investing all the time and effort of a fully fleshed out first draft, only to erase it all later.

You can do this mid-narrative, too. If you just want to skip over a couple lines that aren’t coming naturally to you, script a vague sense of stage directions until you get to easier narrative and come back later.

When I say scripting, mine look something like this:

Character A (ChA): [position within the setting, tone of voice, any notable gesture or action that enhances the dialogue] “Dialogue.” [specific dialogue tag, if necessary] … (often a paragraph break) … “Dialogue.” Character B (ChB): “Dialogue.” [emotion, reaction, details about the setting that are now important, new revelations by the narrating POV] … “Dialogue,” [action. Tonal shift. Movement] ChA: “Dialogue.” [action] … (scene continues)

In practice:

… ChA: [kicks back against the wall of the room, arms crossed. Annoyed, waiting for ChB to speak first, but they don’t] “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to leave?” [head tilts, still waiting on an answer ChB isn’t giving] “All you had to do was ask.” ChB: “You were having fun,” [quiet, wringing their hands in their lap on the edge of the bed] “You wanted me there. So I was there.” [huffs, flips their hair back. Not sure how many times they’ve had this conversation. Will always hate parties, not going to suddenly like them just because ChA is there] “You can either have me there, or make sure I’m comfortable. You can’t have both.” ChA: “So now I’m the bad guy.” [foot thumps on the floor like a judge’s gavel] …

Scripting also lets you fill a scene with multiple new characters before you figure out their names or descriptions, tagging their lines with the bare minimum. I often test out entire action scenes (which I loathe writing) in script form, so I know I’m satisfied with the pacing, blocking, and amount of movement before I lock it in and write the first draft of actual narrative. It also forces you to make sure your characters are taking actions and not just sitting at a table like talking mannequins.

Transitioning from script to narrative can be mighty tedious sometimes if you try to fit in chunks of narrative in the exact places you left on your initial pass. Fictional prose is organic, so let it breathe.

Maybe you let a character monologue for too long, or they have too much movement in a scene that becomes unnatural and clunky. Or the entire scene ran away from you because the conversation was just that good. Whatever the case, a script, bare minimum, gets your foot in the door.

4. Write Fanfic

I like sci-fi and fantasy. I also like taking my sci-fi and fantasy characters and throwing them into ‘fanfics’ to test out relationships and start to get a feel for what makes them unique from the rest of the cast.

Sometimes the setting changes to something mundane, sometimes it’s a hypothetical scene that the current pacing of the narrative just doesn’t have room for, or it’s a flashback you’ll never include but want to have written so it’s concrete when you reference it in the present.

It also helps you fall in love with your characters when you can write them without consequence, doing whatever, doing whoever, saying whatever, going wherever. In fanfic, their personalities can start to write themselves and you discover them as you write them. And, hey, sometimes you come up with a concept so good, you change the entire real narrative around to fit it.

All your attention doesn’t have to be on the story you’re actually writing.

5. Keep All of Your Deleted Scenes

I keep so many of mine, the ‘deleted scenes’ doc of one book is 40k words longer than the actual manuscript, filled with numerous variations of the same scene written over and over again in vain trying to keep something that no longer works.

Keep them for several reasons:

It reminds you of how far you’ve come.

You can pick through the bones for bits of dialogue and setting descriptors even if the majority is trashed.

You remind yourself of what didn’t work before, so you don’t fall in that same trap again.

If you change your mind, all you have to do is copy-paste it back in.

6. Remember First Drafts are First Drafts

Let the word spew flow forth from your fingers and don’t look back and start questioning every decision and all its flaws until your creativity tank starts sputtering on empty. It’s supposed to be messy, it’s supposed to have plot holes and typos and inconsistencies and things to fact-check. If you start hyper-fixating on making sure your manuscript has absolutely no errors before moving on to the next chapter, it will never get written, and you’ll convince yourself you’re a terrible writer.

Writing is easy. Revisions are hard. Just as storytelling doesn’t have to be linear, neither does the writing process. If that critical first line just won’t come to you, stuff a mediocre one in its place and move on. Write the ending first. Write all the romantic entanglements first. Write the big climactic argument first and figure out how the rest falls into place around your beautiful centerpiece.

But remember: You do, at some point, have to write the hard stuff. Hopefully, when the time comes, you look at all the rest you’ve written and are proud enough of your progress that those daunting scenes that looked impossible before become much more approachable now. Do it for your future readers who want to know how it ends. Do it for your characters. Do it for you.

#writing advice #writing a book

[gothhabiba]

hi! sorry to bother and if you've answered this before. of course, you dont have to answer this. you mentioned in one post that you were still learning Darija and also your posts on scolarship are very interesting. ive been trying for a while to learn my dad's language since i didn't grew up speaking it, but have always been interested in persian literature and the evolution of the language so this has been a difficulty for me. i was wondering if you have any tips on improving the way a language is learned, since you're amazing at explaining things and making even complicated subjects clear.

Thank you and have a nice weekend!

Thanks for the compliment!

I don't think that I have anything like my own original foolproof method for learning languages; this is the first language I've self-taught for which there aren't a lot of materials, and everyone learns differently. Here's what I've been doing & what I can broadly recommend when learning a language for which there isn't an enormous amount of teaching material:

Be specific about what it is that you want to do in the language. Chop this up into small sections. So, instead of "I want to learn [language]" (an enormous, vague, impossible task—even native speakers do not know 100% of their languages), think "I want to be able to understand recipes," or "go to the market or a restaurant," or "make small talk and general conversation," or "text friends and family," or "read literature," or "read theory" (and for those last two goals you might have a waypoint goal of "read storybooks" or "read materials intended for language-learners or children").

I began by learning the Arabic script (resources for this abound, and the abjads used for Persian and Darija only add a few characters), and I always write Darija in this script (even though most people write it in the Latin script) to get practice.

I also learned the standard phonology at this point. But the phonology for Persian and Darija are different and involve fewer consonants than Arabic, since some of them have merged, so you won't need to worry about the Standard or Classic pronunciaton of some of the letters. The Wikipedia page for Persian phonology should be a good resource; the IPA symbols for various sounds are noted, and they have explanations of how the sounds are produced and playback that you can listen to. Note that there are obviously regional variations in phonology, but this is a good start. This is a script with a pretty standard orthography, so at this point you can theoretically pronounce any word you read (with diacritics).

cut for length:

I took inspiration from how I had been taught French and divided information up into "units" (first greetings and introductions; then numbers and colours; then telling time; then time including days of the week and months of the year, words for "today" and "yesterday" &c.; the weather; family; then personal pronouns "I" "you" "me" &c. and the verb "to have" to begin forming simple sentences such as "I have three sisters" or whatever—you'd also want to learn "to be" at this point, but Darija doesn't often use it—then I decided that my first priority after very basic conversation was cooking, so I learned terms for food items and cooking verbs).

If you can find online resources or textbooks that will teach you things in units of this type, all the better (I got started on speakmoroccan.com). If you can't, try following an online course or textbook for learning another common language (such as French, German, Spanish, English) but substitute out the vocabulary terms by using a dictionary (for Darija I used tajinequiparle).

You may be able to find some materials (at least greetings, introductions, numbers and the like) on YouTube—I recommend using these even if you can find these same terms elsewhere, to get practice listening to the language.

I feel that I learn best from textbooks and by understanding the syntax and grammar of sentences in depth. However, the materials I've consulted for Darija (and there aren't too many materials in existence) tend to give lists of words but no grammar, or example sentences that are translated in full with no explanation. Even materials that do go into the grammar (such as the Lonely Planet phrasebook) are targeted at tourists and do so with an ethos of "good enough" that may fudge the details to make them more similar to French (which is the language the book is in). So I write down and compile example sentences that I come across (there's an English/Darija dataset already in existence to help with this kind of thing) and compare them to each other to determine which word means what, which affix might be the marker for past tense or infinitive or the object pronoun or whatever, and write down my guesses to test as I go. This may be more difficult without an education in linguistics, but probably not impossible.

I separate my studying into two phases, which I go back and forth between: creating study materials, and learning from those materials. Creating study materials means finding words and writing them down in my little book, figuring out grammar and writing out the rules, writing down example sentences, and making flashcards to learn vocabulary terms (with one or more example sentences on each one).

Studying from those materials involves running through the flashcards and coming up with new example sentences for each term (so I see the side of the flashcard with the English "banana" and come up with a sentence in Darija that's something like "they have eight yellow bananas"). You could also have flashcards separated by category (pronouns / numbers / verbs / nouns / adjectives) and pick a flashcard at random from a few categories (the selection "I" / "sixteen" / "want" / "new" / "oranges" prompts you to construct and speak the sentence "I want sixteen new oranges" in your target language); this is basically analogue duolingo.

As you go about your day, name objects and colours you see and talk to yourself about actions you undertake; try to 'translate' as many thoughts as you can into your target language.

You can also construct dialogues or short compositions at the end of each "unit" you finish. Write a dialogue between two friends greeting each other after not having seen each other for a while. Write a composition about your family members; explain how they're related to you, what they look like, &c. Look up any vocabulary that you notice you're missing.

Once you have a decent vocabulary base, you'll be able to start reading. If you can find writing that's intended for children or language learners, that's great! There may also be fora or message boards online devoted to conversation in your target language. If you can find a dictionary from the target language to a language you understand, this becomes a lot easier—unfortunately I haven't found one for Darija (the lack of a standardised orthography would probably make one difficult to make). Persian has a history of being written that Darija doesn't, so you may have more luck on this score than I did.

I have an "index" in the back of my little book with abbreviations for each of the sources that I get vocabulary from, and I use these abbreviations to take note of where I got sentences, phrases, and vocabulary terms from (whether dictionaries, textbooks, youtube, online courses, online fora, reddit, academic / linguistic articles, &c.). This is so that I can return to these sources and verify what I've written down, just in case; and also because different vocabulary terms are used in different regions, so it's a good idea to have a way to look up who uses which terms.

If I come across anything by serendipity (whether in an academic article about some sociological aspect of Darija, or in the dictionary I've been using, since there's no complete words list that I can find so serendipity is the only way to discover some of the words that are in it), I write it down then and there regardless of how useful I think it will be to me immediately. This is because I have no way of knowing whether I'll ever come across it again! I don't need to memorise it right away, but maybe I'll want to learn it later.

I don't think this will help you, but for some minority languages or dialects there may be a colonial language other than English in which materials for that language are easier to access (for example, I tend to search for Darija resources in French, not English).

#Anonymous #questions #Darijaposting

[study-with-aura]

Wednesday, April 10, 2024

(Posting on Thursday) Once again I post a day late. In my defense, I was very tired when I got home from ballet last night, so I had a quick snack, showered and got ready for bed, then went straight to sleep. I'll try to post Thursday on Thursday, but if not, look for it on Friday. I won't have a chance to post again until after ballet, but I wanted to get Wednesday's up.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Reviewed shaded area + learned about geometric probability involving lengths and areas + practice

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 23 vocabulary + read about Shakespeare + read a biography about Shakespeare + read a guide to Shakespearean language + read first two parts of reading Shakespeare's plays + read about the elements of drama + read a guide to Much Ado About Nothing + read SparkNotes summary, about, and characters pages for Much Ado About Nothing + wrote four lines of iambic pentameter + read about how to read Shakespeare out loud + read my four lines out loud to my mom + compiled my notes for my literary analysis on Emma (due next Friday)

Spanish 2 - Translated sentences in English to Spanish + reviewed clothing vocabulary + listened and repeated sentences

Bible I - Read 1 Samuel 14:16-52

World History - Answered questions dealing with the Holocaust + wrote a short essay on why remembering the Holocaust is important

Biology with Lab - Watched lecture videos on good bacteria vs bad bacteria and antibiotic resistance + completed first part of bacteria identification lab

Foundations - Read more on thoroughness + took next quiz on Read Theory + read Sojourner Truth's "Ain't I a Woman?" and looked for persuasive techniques

Piano - Practiced for two hours in one hour split sessions

Khan Academy - None today

CLEP - None today

Streaming - Watched Greatest Events of World War II in Color episode 4

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 377-424 of Accountable: The True Story of a Racist Social Media Account and the Teenagers Whose Lives It Changed by Dashka Slater

Chores - None today

Activities of the Day:

Personal Bible Study (1 Corinthians 6)

Ballet

Variations

Journal/Mindfulness

#study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #studyblr #studyblr community #study community #study-with-aura

[andiv3r]

So, I'm gonna talk about some trans things, periods, body hair & PCOS below the cut, because it's on the brain and I needed to get it out there. So scroll if you don't wanna read.

It's very likely that I'll be diagnosed with PCOS soon. I've already brought it up with my doctor, and she finds it very likely, given all the signs I'm displaying, that I have PCOS. The signs she focuses on especially are surrounding my menstruation¹, body hair², and voice³. This does not surprise me, given how much research I've done on PCOS in the past few months, and how with each new sentence I read, it was like a new piece of a puzzle clicking into place. Of course my mind never felt like a woman's mind, but my body never felt like it fit everyone else's definition of womanhood either, and until now, I didn't know why. I wasn't unhappy about it, but it was hard connecting with other afab people when I would describe things I experienced, and they would tell me that wasn't normal.

When my mom heard this, her initial reaction was not to believe it. She was reluctant to listen to even more information about my gender that didn't fit the idea she had of me when I was a child of a normal cisgender female. Now, her reaction is to think that maybe, if this is true, then the doctors can "fix" it, and "fix" me. She appears to be under the impression that if the doctors change the hormonal makeup of my physical body, it will somehow also change my mind about my being a trans man. This worried me.

I know that forcing me into hormone treatment is not something she can legally do, especially not while both I and my father would vehemently oppose it, given that it would be detrimental to my mental health to force to, essentially, transition opposite the way I want to. While thinking this over, though, and after assuaging my fears about my mother with the knowledge that she can't force me to transition that way, it hit me.

That would be a transition. Making my body into society's idea of a woman body would be a physical transition for me, because I do not currently present that way. My current hormonal makeup does not match that. So, what would that make me? Surely I'm not allowed to call myself intersex, right? More Googling occured. I had been told by multiple people that it wasn't okay to refer to PCOS as intersexism, or claim that it fell under the same umbrella, or for people with PCOS to claim the term 'intersex' for themselves, which is the only reason I hadn't been using it despite the fact that this term, I feel, accurately describes my experience trying to relate to the gender binary and how my body always felt like it fell outside of that.

So I think what I'm trying to say... or ask, rather... is, is it appropriation of intersexism to call having PCOS a variation of being intersex? Most articles I've read as of this point say no, and that if my relationship to my body surrounding this condition feels most accurately described by that term, then it's fine, but for some reason I crave the validation of the Tumblr people.

¹My periods are extremely irregular, both in length and in rate of occurence, and it could be anywhere between two weeks to five months between periods, and they can last anywhere between two days and a month.

²I have a mustache, sideburns, a hairy chest and abdomen, hair on my hands and feet, hair on my chin, and anywhere else hair grows, you can assume I have it there, and a lot of it.

³I have a natural voice, without training, that is more reminiscent of a boy who has just hit puberty than an afab person who hit puberty six years ago.

#pcos #intersex #transgender #transmasc #andiv3r rambles

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hello, I was wondering if my sentences needed to be long in my story. I'm fairly new to serious writing and I've seen some stories with a ton of long sentences but I can't seem to make my sentences as long as theirs.

Sentence Length, Variety, and Pacing

No, you don't have to write long sentences. Sentence length is mainly dictated by the needs of the sentence, but also you should use a variety of sentence lengths.

Some sentences will be very short, some will be short, some will be medium-length, some will be long. Variation creates cadence, and cadence creates flow. If you use the same or similar sentence length over and over again, the cadence is monotonous. Try reading the following out loud:

We went to Aunt Sally's last night. My Aunt Sally lives in Des Moines. We got there around eight-thirty. She made us salad and pasta for dinner.

But, see what happens to the cadence when we use a variety of sentence lengths:

We went to Aunt Sally's last night. She lives in Des Moines, but only moved there a year ago. We arrived just after eight-thirty, just in time for a yummy dinner of salad and pasta.

See how much better that sounds?

Sentence length can also increase or slow the pace. Short sentences can be read quickly and can create a sense of urgency, so a passage with shorter sentences can move faster for the reader. Long sentences take more time to read and create a sense of being unhurried, so a passage with longer sentences can move slower for the reader. You may want a faster pace when something exciting is happening and a slower pace when something meaningful is happening.

When you have a really fast-paced, action-packed, on-the-edge-of-your-seat passage, you may want to follow with a slower one to let the reader catch their breath. Likewise, if you have a really slow-paced, emotionally or heavy or information-packed passage, you may want to follow it with a faster-paced scene to keep the reader's interest. :)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[raedear]

last line tag game/sixseven sentence SundayMondayTuesday

I got tagged in a BUNCH of these on different days and variations of length so. Have the newest lines I've written which came from nowhere today in my brain after MONTHS of drought. They can't even happen in the chapter I need to write. If they can exist at all they'll exist much further in the fic. But I liked them, so I wrote them down in the scratch-pad for the arranged marriage cursed bride fic:

There's a fury in Nicoló. Yusuf watches and sees it clearly, sees it in the stride and the grip and the pull and the pause as Nicoló makes to dash a table to the floor and stops himself before the violence can make its way from his shoulders to his hands. He stands, statuesque, fingers on the delicate mosaic tabletop, white knuckled with the effort of not gripping tight, and breathes himself back to the calm man Yusuf thought he knew so well.

Thank you for tagging me @non-un-topo and @andrea-lyn and @materassassino and @nicolos and anyone who may have tagged me more than two weeks ago I do apologise.

I would tag more people to play but I think literally everyone already has been, so please play if you aren't often tagged and would like to be tagged more 💜

[eilinelsghost]

Words hmmm I’ll give you some verbs.

(Any tense/variation of) cry, scream, pound, stroke, trace.

For this WIP game. As always, I remain incapable of doing just a single sentence.

Cry

After Esrid’s death, he had paced each night with Belen in his arms, the boy pushing away as he wailed, wilwa aifa, wilwa aifa![1] and Balan had rocked him and walked, weeping too as he tried to console him. But it had been the memory of his own mother that drew his tears, there amid the strangling grief. He would pat the tiny back and sing choked melodies and long, like Belen, to cry out for his mother and find her there when he turned, for her to take his hands and kiss his palms and murmur, presence, Balan, is the greatest solace.

1. Wilwa aifa (toddler’s attempt to say wiljan aitha): I want mama

Scream

A scream tore through the air as the wolf sunk its teeth into Beren’s calf, but he realized it was coming from his own throat. His mind found the stones of the tower once more, he pressed at them, he pleaded, he commanded. He felt his fëa rush forward with a blinding strength that lifted his body as a tool in hand, and he felt the chains rending, the stones yielding.

Pound(ed)

“When eyes have once seen the dawn,” Balan whispered, and Finrod’s heart pounded as the breath of the other’s words passed over his mouth like a caress, “how can they be satisfied thereafter with rushlights?” He turned away bitterly and walked back toward the hearth.

Stroke

He slipped over the window ledge and crossed the room. “Elenya,” he whispered as he reached out to stroke the other’s shoulders.

Finrod looked up at him, the tears still streaming over his cheeks, and let Balan take his face in his hands. “Run not ahead, I told thee, and here I am found doing just that.” His voice caught and the tears returned.

Trace(d)

“How I would watch thee and long to draw my hands down like this, learning every line. Made as thou art, beautiful as thou art…” his hand moved gently over Balan’s chest, his ribs, abdomen, traced about the bones of his hip, moved along the length of his thigh. He slid his hand around to pull Balan’s leg in between his own, wrapping his up about the waist to pull Balan in tight against him. “To match myself to the crests and valleys of thee and feel, as I knew in my soul, that we fit like broken halves of a gem, every contour of me an outline of thee—heart and body.”

Thanks so much for the asks!

#finrod #bëor #the silmarillion #my fic #atandil #asks and answers #tumblr games #WIPs