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fanficsforfun · 1 year

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Guts (re-writed)

Paring: Merle Dixon x female reader

Word count: 3,3k

Warnings: shooting, racism, violence, hard language, sexual content (cuddling, kissing, dry humping), the reader has conflicted feelings towards Merle

Summary: TWD s1e2 re-writed so that Merle doesn't get left behind; you're the one who makes sure of it

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When the others went downstairs, you stayed on the roof with Merle. He seemed to be on something and you were afraid he’d get himself hurt or killed if he’d be left alone. Maybe it wasn’t too smart of you though because when it was just the two of you there, Merle tried to get you to sleep with him. What a surprise.

“Come on, sugar”, he persuaded. “It’s just ya an’ I here. Ain’t nobody will ever know.”

You had blushed and kept your gaze away, a small embarrassed smile on your lips. His behavior didn’t really bother you like it bothered everybody else, not even now when he was high, but you surely weren’t going to do anything here on a damn rooftop. And not when he wasn’t fully here anyway.

“Oh, don’t be shy, honey”, Merle kept trying but you just glanced at him, not replying.

“I’m a safe guy to be around, ya know. I’ve done military service, and I'm not a bad shot even if I say so myself. In fact, I used to be one of the bests”, he continued to show off, trying to impress you. And truth to be told, you were impressed despite everything. He was a good hunter, that much you knew for sure. He always brought back a catch and these times that was a vital skill to have.

“Wanna see? I swear I’ll pop any of ‘em walkers down there!”

“I- I don’t know if that is such a good idea”, you said carefully, not wanting to piss him off. You knew noise was like a dinner bell to them, but there were so many of them already, how much worse could it even become?

“Ah, don’t ya worry darlin’. They can’t get to us.”

With that, Merle grabbed the rifle and got up on the edge of the roof. You followed, leaning against the railing next to him. You couldn’t help yourself, you were a bit curious. You had managed to convince yourself to believe Merle and decided not to try to stop him.

“Watch this”, he grinned and raised the gun, rested his cheek against the stock, aimed carefully and squeezed the trigger. Headshot. The walker dropped from its feet. You looked up at him in genuine impression and he flashed you a smug grin.

“How ‘bout this? I hit ten of ‘em fuckers in a row and ya’ll give me kiss?”

“Um”, you said but the look on your face was that much interested that Merle decided to interpret it as a yes. However, he managed to shoot only a few times before the others came back running.

“Hey Dixon, are you crazy??” Morales shouted to him. You flinched but Merle just laughed.

“Ya ought to be more polite to a man with a gun! Only common sense”, he stated and jumped down from the railing, taking a few steps closer to the others. You stopped leaning on the railing but didn't approach them. You were alert, because although Merle looked amused, his mood could change in an instant.

“You're wasting bullets we ain’t even got, man!” T-Dog shouted at him, sounding both shocked and angry. “And you’re bringing even more of them down on our ass!”

Merle started walking towards him and clearly was getting annoyed.

“Hey, bad enough I’ve got this taco-bender on my ass all day, now I’m gonna take orders from ya? I don't think so, that’ll be the day.”

“Merle…”, you tried, carefully walking closer to him but he simply ignored you.

“That’ll be the day?? You got something you want to tell me?” T-Dog snapped. He had got enough of Merle’s bullshit. The others tried to calm him down but he was as pissed as Merle and wasn’t listening either.

“Ya wanna know the day?” Merle asked.

“Yeah!”

“I’ll tell ya the day mr. Yo. It’s the day I take orders from a nigger!”

Oh no, you thought and were precisely right as the next thing you knew, T-Dog tried to punch Merle, only leading to Merle hitting him with the stock of his rifle. Then the scuffle started. Some new guy, a cop, tried to get in the way, but only got to make acquaintance with Merle's fist. In no time T-Dog was on the ground and Merle kicking him. Everyone tried to get him to calm down, but he didn’t give a damn. Even your desperate cry for him to stop got no reaction from him other than a quick glance.

For a moment it really looked like Merle was going to kill T-Dog, but then he just spit on him and got up on his feet.

“Yeah, all right! We’re gonna have ourselves a little pow-wow, huh? Talk about who’s in charge. I vote me. Anybody else? Huh? Democracy time y’all!”

The others helped T-Dog away from Merle, not responding to him. You stood apart from them, shuddering and your eyes wide open. Merle was terrifying with his pistol raised and an amused look on his face. He wasn’t like this normally. Or well, he was, but not this bad. And he clearly wasn't stopping until he got what he wanted; he kept up the pressure until all but T-Dog had put their hand up.

That's when you noticed the policeman was on his feet and before you could make a sound, he knocked Merle to the ground with the rifle and handcuffed him on the ventilation duct or whatever it was.

“Who the hell are ya?” Merle gruffed, though the look on his face was rather indifferent.

“Officer friendly. Look here now, Merle. Things are different now. There are no niggers anymore. No dumb-as-shit, inbred white-trash fools either. Only dark meat and white meat. There’s us and the dead. We survive this by pulling together, not apart!” The cop scolded Merle.

“Screw ya, man”, came Merle’s uninterested answer.

“I can see you make a habit of missing the point.”

“Yeah? Well, screw ya twice!”

“Ought to be polite to a man with a gun. Only common sense”, the cop mocked Merle by using his own words while pressing the pistol against his temple. You gasped and took a step closer, fear in your eyes. Merle surely wasn’t the nicest guy around but he didn’t deserve to die!

“Ya wouldn’t. Yer a cop”, Merle pointed out, and you really hoped he was right.

“All I am anymore is a man looking for his wife and son. Anybody gets in the way of that is gonna lose. I’ll give you a moment to think about that”, the cop said, but lowered his gun and patted Merle down, finding his drugs and throwing them off the roof. Merle didn’t like that too much and shouted insults at him without getting a response.

He was so angry you didn't dare approach him. Instead you went to take a look down the street like Andrea and Jacqui. The view wasn't too encouraging. The streets were full of the dead and you didn't think there was any way to get past them.

“How’s the signal?” Morals asked.

“Like Dixon’s brain. Weak”, T-Dog stated and got Merle to flip the finger to him. You couldn’t help but smile, but made sure Merle didn’t see it. He would have got really pissed off over it.

Your smile soon faded as the others tried to think of a way to get out of the city, but no one seemed very hopeful. Merle's comment about the streets being dangerous didn't help either. And when Merle tried to talk Andrea into letting him out of the handcuffs, you suddenly felt a rush of jealousy. Sure, you knew he flirted with everyone, but it still didn't feel too good. At the same time you felt rather embarrassed over your emotions. Were you really jealous over some asshole-drug addict-redneck??

“How ‘bout ya, darlin’?” Merle shifted his attention to you, his voice flirty and rather… soft.

You flinched and turned to look at him.

“I know I didn't have time to take down ten walkers because we were so brutally interrupted”, he gave an annoyed glance towards the others, “but would ya mind helpin’ out a bit anyway?”

However, you didn’t have the time to answer as the others came up with a plan that might work, namely the sewers. Merle's attention also moved to them and for a moment he showed no interest in you. And in no time they were off the rooftop again, going to take a look at the sewers. Now it was Merle, T-Dog and you left on the rooftop. T-Dog tried to reach anyone on the walkie-talkie, but quickly became frustrated. Merle, of course, took the opportunity to make dumb-ass comments, as usual. You looked away and pretended not to hear their words.

Then Merle tried to make T-Dog to let him free. That bait didn't pull so Merle gave up. He had an easier target.

“So, honey, where were we?” Merle’s attention was undividedly yours again. “Get me out of these and I’ll make it up to ya. Huh? What do ya say?”

“I… um”, you didn’t know what to say. You kind of wanted to free him, but T-Dog was probably right about him only doing stupid things if that would happen. You had seen him acting violently before, and not just earlier that day.

“What, ya believe what he’s sayin’? I ain’t gonna kill nobody, don’t ya worry”, Merle smiled.

You shifted restlessly, glanced at T-Dog who looked at you with an expression that you'd better not agree, and then at the toolbox.

“Yeah, gimme that hacksaw, and I’ll do whatever ya want me to do”, Merle kept trying. “Come on, be kind to ol’ Merle, would ya?”

Your expression became increasingly distressed since you couldn't stand Merle's pleading, despite the playful, teasing tone of his voice. You took an uncertain step closer to the toolpack, then another.

“Yeah, that’s it girl, go on”, Merle encouraged you, but then T-Dog snarled at you: "'Don't fucking do that!”

"But..." you tried, but he wouldn't listen. Instead, he stood up and picked up a toolbox for himself so you couldn't take anything from it to Merle.

You turned your gaze to Merle with an apologetic look in your eyes and shifted restlessly again.

“I’m sorry”, you said quietly.

“Whatever”, Merle grunted and you felt bad.

Soon the others showed up again with a new plan which involved disguising themselves as walkers. It made you almost throw up but luckily you were allowed to stay on the roof with Merle and didn't have to chop up any walkers. The very thought disgusted you so much that you were merely glad you didn't have to go along. Now it was just you and him up there again.

“Fuck, did he take the toolpack with him?” Merle asked after the door was closed.

“Yeah”, you replied after a quick look around.

“Great.” Merle looked really pissed. Then the look on his face changed. "See if the key to these damn handcuffs is around here somewhere, I'll give ya a kiss as a reward.”

You nodded, not having the guts to decline especially after how disappointed he had looked earlier, and started going through the stuff despite it feeling wrong to do so. But nothing was to be found.

"I'm sorry, Merle, it's not here."

“Fuck”, Merle cursed again, trying to pull his hand free.

“Well”, he then breathed out. “We ain’t got much of a choice ‘ere other than to wait for ‘em to come back, huh?”

You nodded slowly.

“Let’s make some use of that time then. Come back ‘ere, hun, and sit down.”

Merle was clearly flirting with you again, and as crazy it was, you found yourself wanting to play along. He was in handcuffs, he couldn’t do anything way off, unless you’d let him. And to be real honest, he actually looked pretty damn cute there. So you sat next to him on the hot concrete rooftop.

“That’s it, good girl”, his voice came out low and raspy, and something about it made your heartbeat quicken and breathing deepen.

His free hand settled on your thigh and he started stroking it, slowly up and down. His hand was so warm, the touch felt good, better than you had though. You felt flush rising to your face and realized you were getting aroused. Suddenly, scared by the intensity of your feelings, you wanted to move away, to stop this, but instead you leaned closer. You couldn't deny you had missed gentle touch, nor could you deny your rather questionable attraction towards him.

“Ya like that, don’t ya?” Merle kept talking and when you almost moaned as a response, he moved his hand between your thighs, rubbing you through your pants. You flinched and tensed up, before letting out a shaky breath and relaxing again. You hadn’t expected him to do that, but it felt… great. Your own hand reached down to Merle's thigh and you began stroking it in turn. You wouldn’t ever had the guts to touch him, well, there.

Merle chuckled and told you to sit on his lap. And so you did. You carefully crawled into his lap and he pulled you against him. You couldn't help but flinch again at the feeling of his already hard cock against you. You closed your eyes and breathed. Was this really happening??

“Rock yer hips, girl”, Merle commanded, and that’s exactly what you did. His free hand moved down to your butt while he kissed your neck. You took support from his shoulders and could no longer hold back your moans. Merle's soft lips teased your sensitive skin, and you clearly could feel your arousal growing. His touch felt too good but none of this was right. You had to do something.

"Merle, we can't...", you tried, but he just laughed.

"Why not? Ya sure seem to be enjoyin’ this.”

“The others, they can come back at any minute”, you explained almost hysterically. You couldn't stop this, you couldn't move away, you wanted him too badly. But you couldn’t do this, not like this anyway.

And then the others came. You scrambled away from Merle's arms and tried to steady your breathing even though you knew you were deeply flushed and trembling, and hopefully not visibly wet. Merle almost laughed at you, but the others running like the devil was on their heels drew his attention away from you.

“Hey, what’s happening, man?” He shouted, turning to look at Morales who was the first one coming.

No one responded.

“Hey, come on! Talk to me, y’all!” His voice suddenly became worried.

The others rushed to the edge of the roof and peered down. You followed the example, trying to find the ones who had gone out there. Then you noticed two very much alive people among the walkers, Glenn and the cop, and shuddered in terror. It wouldn’t be too nice to be down there.

Merle had figured out the situation on his own and asked in disbelief: “That asshole’s out on the street with the handcuff keys??”

You turned to look at Merle but then T-Dog lifted out the key. Thank God, you thought but Merle didn’t look too happy.

It had been a cloudy day, but you were still surprised by the sudden onset of rain. Although Morales assured it was just a short downpour, things started going all to hell down on the street. You walked away from the railing, you didn’t even want to see. If they’d get eaten, you’d be stuck on the roof forever. You tried to banish the thought, but it refused to leave.

After a while you heard Glenn over the walkie-talkie telling everyone to get downstairs to the roll-up doors. Relief washed over you. They had pulled through the crazy stunt after all!

“Come on! Let’s go, let’s go!” Morales shouted.

Everyone, including you, rushed to get their belongings but then Merle's panicked voice reached you.

“Hey, you can’t leave me here! I’m not fooling, man!”

You stopped dead in your tracks while the others rushed to the door, and shouted for T-Dog to give you the key. To your surprise, he stopped and turned to look back at you two. Merle's desperate pleas almost brought you to tears and you felt a cold grip on your chest, but you extended your hand insistently towards T-Dog.

"Give me the damn key!" You almost cried but T-Dog didn’t seem to know what to do.

“We gotta go!” Morales shouted from the door before disappearing down the stairs. Now it was just Merle, you and T-Dog there. You knew that if T-Dog would decide not to give the key, there was nothing you could do. You had no gun and all he needed to do was to lock the door. That would be it.

“You can’t leave me like this, man! You can’t leave me here, not like this! Come on, man! It’s not human!” Merle’s voice became increasingly scared.

“The key, give me the fucking key!” You shouted, dropped your stuff and ran to T-Dog, who took a few steps closer and then actually gave it to you. You clenched the key in your fist and rushed back to Merle. Hands shaking, you unlocked the handcuffs. Merle immediately jumped to his feet in rage, showing no sign of fear anymore.

"What the fuck is wrong with y'all, ya can't do that, ya fuckin' assholes!" He snarled.

You just picked up your stuff and grabbed Merle by the forearm.

"Come on, hurry up!" You rushed him and forced him to follow you down the stairs after T-Dog where he had disappeared in a flash as soon as the key had been handed over to you. You ran down the stairs together and reached the others barely in time. They had already climbed in the back of the truck when you two showed up.

“Wait, wait for us! Please!” You screamed, and thank God they did.

You quickly climbed aboard and at that very moment walkers started to appear from somewhere in large numbers. The cop pushed the pedal to the metal right away. You staggered and grabbed Merle who wrapped his arms around your waist. Fortunately, Morales rolled the door down so no one could fall out of the truck. Merle, on the other hand, turned the other way and let his rage out freely.

"Y'all are fuckin' pricks, ya can't just chain anyone up like that, leave behind without a fuckin' second thought. Just one, one fuckin' person, sacrificed a single thought for ol' Merle. Yer all idiots, I'll fuckin’ kill y'all!"

The others backed away from him if at all possible, as everyone was already packed into the front of the truck.

"Merle please, not now," you sobbed with your arms tightly around him. Merle leaned against the wall in the corner, mostly because you were clinging to him and refused to let go, and he had to somehow keep his balance.

"It was your own fault, you know. Nobody told you to be such an ass", the cop pointed out from the driver's seat.

"Who the fuck do ya think ya are?? Ya have no fuckin' right to decide anyone's fate!" Merle continued as if he hadn't heard.

“Merle, please”, you tried again, “please, stop it!”

Merle shook his head with a heavy sigh and dropped down on the floor, pulling you with him. You snuggled up against him and buried your tear-stained face against his neck. You were downright trembling and held on tightly to him.

"This ain't over", Merle grunted, but then concentrated on caressing you, not saying another word which was… unusual, to say at least.

#merle dixon #merle dixon x reader #merle x reader #the walking dead #twd #twd x reader #the walking dead fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #smut

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just-here-for-iolaus · 3 months

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HTLJ S1E2 "Eye of the Beholder"

The great HTLJ/XWP/YH (re)watch continues!

This episode was such a lovely treat honestly. I had a great time!

We open on about 30 (uncomfortable) seconds of heavy breathing that turns out to be Hercules running from a group of women. Man is not having it.

There's no further context to this at all before we cut to the next scene, which I thought was funny, but it's then addressed.

Herc has arrived at a tavern of some kind and tells the guy there that "King Thespius wants every one of them to have a child by [him]".

50 women. That's a lot of babies. Also damn Thespius how many wives you got to end up with 50 daughters?

Would Herc's kids be like... demi-demi-gods? One-quarter god? We didn't get to explore that with his kids before they were killed off.

Androcles walks over and asks Herc what he's gonna do about a certain cyclops. The guy he was talking to tells Androcles to give Herc a break and then tells Herc that the guy is "a wet-brain" ever since "a run in with a lion"... Herc just shakes his head and tells him it's alright and to let Androcles talk.

I liked this moment because Herc is willing to hear someone out that seemingly isn't in high esteem. Whether it's because Herc himself has not been believed about things, or because he's learned that the local "loony" is sometimes right, I don't know, but I feel like it showcases a noble character trait he has.

Turns out the cyclops protects Hera's secret vineyards - which is enough of a reason for Hercules to get involved, so off he goes.

THEN WE GET THIS CHARACTER INTRODUCED!

No name yet in this scene, but played by the same actor that played the slave I liked in one of the movies. I was sooo excited to see him haha.

He encounters a cyclops who tells him not to walk through the vineyard and then KICKS HIM INTO THE SKY. (Presumably over the vineyard instead of through it?) Surely this would kill a man.

Naturally it doesn't kill him, though, so Herc stumbles upon the little guy hanging from a tree. He asks to be helped down, but end up falling down before Herc can do anything. He's introduced as Salmoneus, the travelling toga salesman.

Salmoneus is excited to see Hercules whoop the cyclops. (Though Herc does try to discourage Salmoneus tagging along, for his own safety.)

We get a brief scene where some guys (Atreus and two others) are trying to push a boulder into the river, to get it back on its course. One of them runs off when they hear the cyclops approaching. The other guy that's not Atreus (I couldn't tell what his name was - Haymander?) picks a fight with the cyclops and gets smushed into the ground by the cyclops's fist, which is a bit grim. Atreus runs off back to town.

We cut back to Hercules and Salmoneus, and Salmoneus is trying to figure out a way to rope Herc into his toga business (surely more for his own profit). Atreus and the first guy who ran off run up to them and tell them about the cyclops, and warns them not to go that way. Salmoneus says the cyclops can't hurt Hercules, but Atreus isn't so sure. They go on to explain that they were trying to reroute the river that the village relies on (after it was rerouted to serve Hera's vineyards) and says there's no other river they can make use of instead.

Atreus: "You'd help us? Are you serious?" Herc: "When it comes to Hera, I'm always serious."

Cheesy lines like that just feel so good.

I feel like Herc's hatred of Hera makes even more sense now that she killed his family. I got his motivation before, since she had been messing with his life already, but now seeing him just be like “I’m gonna travel around making trouble for Hera” feels really satisfying lol. She's just reaping what she's sown.

We then cut to the Cyclops eating in a cave. Some guy is being a little rude to him, but we find out that he's the one paying the cyclops to be mean to the people of the village (Traycus). We also learn the villagers haven't necessarily been great to the cyclops in the past, but the cyclops seems a little torn about this job. I did immediately think "ah, okay, he's gonna end up not being so bad".

We then cut to Traycus holding a party to celebrate Hercules coming to help them. Herc seems to be having some guilt about it, since he hasn't actually done anything yet, but Atreus assures him that everyone has complete faith in him.

Thespius's daughters show up and announce they're lookign for Hercules, who immediately hides and starts crawling his way through the party to leave. The villagers don't rat him out, and Salmoneus chats up Thespius's daughters about togas as a distraction.

It was around this point that I noted how nice it was to see Hercules smiling again so much in this episode. He comes across as so good-natured when he's smiling, and he was so upset in the last episode (understandably).

The next morning there's a brief scene where the woman from Traycus that Herc briefly interacted with at the party is alone picking flowers. The cyclops comes along, and she is pretty chill about it, saying the river and vineyard belong to him and she's not bothering him, but he gets aggro so she runs off. She leaves behind her scarf and he rubs his mouth about it.

We cut back to Traycus where Salmoneus starts giving Herc a bit of a hard time.

Salmoneus: "You sir, truly are the strongest man in the world if you can, uh- (gestures crudely and laughs before deadpanning) hold fifty hearts in sway at once."

Hercules: "All they want is my body." Salmoneus: "I know the feeling."

(I took this as Salmoneus feeling himself, and I LOVE it. I could also see this as being interpreted as wanting Herc lmao.)

The woman who had been chased off by the cyclops comes back to town and Atreus alerts Hercules to what happened. She says it wasn't an attack, exactly, and explains. When Hercules asks if the cyclops had a weapon, a male villager picks a fight with him, calling him a coward for running from the daughters of Thespius the night before.

When Hercules shrugs this off and tries to continue the discussion with Atreus, the guy headbutts him! Salmoneus encourages Herc to dent the guy's head, but Herc announces he won't play this game, only to get another headbutt.

What I didn't understand was why Hercules didn't defend himself here. And I don't mean, "Why didn't he hit back" but literally, like, why didn't he block or dodge? Make any attempt to avoid getting hit, at all???

I guess two hits was enough, though, so Hercules then headbutts the other dude back (while the town seems to be cheering him on to do it!). This knocks the guy back into a wagon of hay. The fight seems to be over, so Herc helps him up, but then the guy kicks Hercules (in the nads? It's unclear.), before flirting with the woman who encountered the cyclops (who we now hear called Scilla!). She's not interested and insults him, and then Hercules punches him in the face, knocking him out cold.

Hercules announces that he "really [doesn't] have time for this nonsense" which prompted me to write in my notes "What's the rush?". There isn't really anything else that's urgent on his list that I know of. I guess he just means he wants to help the village as soon as possible.

Scilla follows him partway and is trying to find out his plan and warn him to be careful. Hercules doesn't have a plan, and clearly intends to talk to the cyclops before deciding how to proceed. He asks Scilla to wish him luck, so she does before leaving him to his task.

We then cut to Hera's secret vineyard, which of course is run by slavery????

A weird guy we saw briefly at the party in Tracyus (I looked up his name just now, and it's - I shit you not - "The Ferret") is talking with the guy who the cyclops is working for (Castor). Castor is explaining how the slaves are making the wine that Hera's chosen people will drink, and The Ferret asks if the slaves (who are stomping grapes) ever have any issues with their feet, like diseases or open wounds. A valid question, one would think, but it earns him a smack.

The Ferret then tells Castor that Hercules is coming, which he initially disbelieves, but then laughs.

The Ferret: "What's funny?" Castor: "EVERYTHING'S FUNNY, YOU IDIOT!"

Castor is convinced cyclops will do away with Hercules.

These two are so intense and weird. I commend them.

We cut back to Hercules, who hears someone following him and jumps them. It turns out to be Salmoneus.

Salmoneus: "I wanna see you do cruel and unusual things to that monster."

Herc tries to convince Salmoneus not to hold grudges, and Salmoneus tells him not to be so preachy. He tries to get him to go back to town, but he doesn't want to, so off they go together.

We cut back to Castor talking to the cyclops and questioning why he has a scarf. He kind of.. bullies him? Then tells him to kill Hercules.

Back to Herc and Salmoneus in the woods, and unfortunately Thespius's daughters have caught up to them. Herc tells Salmoneus to run, and they both do, but Salm can't keep up and the girls swarm him.

I question how the women are traveling around in these revealing, mostly-white dresses with seemingly no posessions or bodyguards or anything. Don't you get cold? What do you eat? How do you sleep?

Castor then prays to Hera and promises that Hercules is about to die and he will bring Hera his head.

My immediate thought was "Dude, you are now overpromising to Hera. You are gonna fall short and die."

Some guy shows up and says if Castor's plan doesn't work, the Executioners will.

Herc makes it to the cyclops and there's a brief fight. Hercules overpowers the big guy, who then asks him to kill him and get it over with. Herc says he'd rather find out why he's always in such a rotten mood.

We then cut to them together in the cyclops's cave. Cyclops reveals that the villagers harassed him when he was younger, and that he got tired of it after a while. I felt bad for him and wrote "This cyclops is definitely a soft-heart. I hope Herc doesn’t kill him." in my notes haha.

The cyclops reveals he doesn't work for Hera, he works for Castor. Herc says that now that the cyclops lost, Hera and Castor won't like him, suggesting he team up with the village now instead. He leaves him to think about it.

Herc finds Salmoneus on his way back to Traycus. The women didn't "hurt" him, but they did take his clothing. Herc has the decency to check that Salm is not injured before laughing.

The Ferret overhears Hercules implying that he beat the cyclops to Salmoneus, and he reports this back to Castor.

Back in Traycus, Salm regales the villagers with a completely fictitious story about the fight between Herc and the cyclops.

Hercules explains to Atreus that the cyclops isn't dead, just that Hercules had convinced him not to hurt the village anymore. He even goes so far as to say he never intended to kill the cyclops.

Scilla calls out Atreus for bullying the cyclops when he was a kid, and Atreus calls her an ungrateful wench. Scilla calls him an ass and Hercules announces he's gonna stay to help the village fix the river (because he likes the idea of Hera's grapes dying on the vine).

The daughters of Thespius show up again and Hercules gives a speech about why he won't bed them.

Hercules: "No matter what you think, I'm not opposed to pretty women. And I'm not opposed to having children, but if I'm going to become a father again, the mother will be someone that I love. And I- I don't love any of you. I mean, I like to look at you, and I might even like to talk to you if I didn't always feel like I was the fox and you were the hounds, but that's as far as my interest goes. I hope you understand."

I thought the part about Hercules feeling like prey to them was telling. I imagine most of us can relate to not wanting to feel objectified and to have our own desires completely ignored by someone who wants something from us (sexual or otherwise).

It all feels very congruent to his character as he's behaved up to this point. I also thought that this was a clever way for the writers to leave things open-ended in terms of Hercules possibly falling for someone else in the future, and to avoid making Dei's death seem like something that doesn't matter to him by having him constantly getting into meaningless flings.

I say this without knowing where the show is going of course.

We cut back to Castor giving the cyclops a hard time about losing to Hercules. He guesses that the cyclops might have changed sides, and he says he hasn't decided yet. Castor tells him that the Executioners will kill everyone, and that he's doomed. Cyclops cries into Scilla's scarf. TT_TT

The guy who visited Castor before ("Chief Executioner", apparently) summons the Executioners by whipping the group until skeletons come out and turn into warriors. The chief then kills Castor rather unceremoniously.

We cut back to the villagers trying to push that boulder from before into the river. There's a funny bit with Salmoneus again.

STOP. I love him.

After watching everyone, though, he does eventually join in, in a sort of bemused way.

Salmoneus: "The first labour I’ve ever done!"

Cyclops sees them getting that big boulder into the river and contemplates things some more. He heads over toward them, but the villagers start attacking him (despite Scilla and Hercules telling them not to). Cyclops walks off, and Scilla follows after him.

Hercules tells off all the villagers, saying they "put the evil in him". The guy from before who was headbutting him then says the cyclops is probably having his way with Scilla (how would that even work? he's a giant) and Herc says she's better off with the cyclops than him, which was a good burn. He tries to attack Hercules again but Herc finally blocks him.

Scilla finds the cave and disavows the villagers' behaviour. They have a little chat and Hercules shows up to find out about the Executioners. Cyclops offers to help Hercules fight the executioners.

They arrive back to where the others are in time to intercept the Executioners. Their weapons aren't very effective against the cyclops, and Hercules performs about as well as you'd expect.

The villagers watch and someone suggests they should help.

Atreus: I won't die helping a freak! Or anyone who sides with one. Even if it is Hercules. Salmoneus: It would be better to die with them than to stay here with eunuchs like you.

Salm rushes to help, surprising the villagers (and winning me over even more.) Didn't love the use of eunuch as an insult but-

Scilla tries to grab an abandoned sword to help, but the Chief Executioner ends up taking her hostage and dragging her away. The cyclops sees this and goes to grab a boulder. The villagers assume cyclops is going to attack them, so they flee back toward Traycus, before someone points out that the cyclops is attacking the Executioners. They're impressed that Herc and cyclops are winning.

From my notes: Cyclops bowling the executioners hahaha. Somehow this wins over the villagers? Oh because they’re WINNING? XD XD XD These people are so stupid haha.

Cyclops trips the Chief, freeing Scilla. When the Chief tries to run off, Hercules... basically throws him? at the guy... squashing him dead.

Meanwhile Salm only arrived in time to help Scilla up. XD

The villagers want to know how they can repay Hercules for his help, and he says to be nice to the cyclops but Atreus says they can't. They've tried.

I love Salmoneus too much. He'd better stay likeable.

Scilla: You know, this man did something for you and me today that you would never have done for him.

The cyclops vows to help them live in peace as long as he's treated with respect. Atreus begrudgingly agrees to "give it a try".

Salmoneus basically announces that he's going to stick with Hercules (my heart, how I wished it was true!) but then the daughters of Thespius show up and announce that they want Salmoneus now, to which he agrees. XD

This show is so goofy sometimes and I am HERE for it.

This was a really fun and feel-good episode! It was nice to see Hercules more chilled out and happy, and Salmoneus tickled me so much. Looking forward to more episodes like this if possible. :)

#htlj #hercules the legendary journeys #the great (re)watch #htlj s1e2 #i didn't die so here's the next episode

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whywhatswrongwithblue · 9 months

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DW REWATCH

S1E2 THE END OF THE WORLD

The Doctor takes Rose on her first voyage through time, to the year five billion. The sun is about to expand and swallow the earth. Amongst the alien races gathering to watch, a murderer is at work. Who is controlling the mysterious and deadly spiders?

WHAT was he doing in this scene.

You think you're so impressive. ---I am so impressive baby’s first flirt….

2. You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible, that maybe you survive. i adore this line. Iirc i read somewhere that this episode was made when a lot of negative climate focussed media was coming out and rtd wanted to assure young viewers that there was always hope? Not sure where i saw it but it’s stuck with me

3. Is that why we're here? I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?-- rose we are literally here so i can trauma dump. Haven’t you heard of healthy coping mechanisms??

4. He's blue RTD my beloved. What an incredibly realistic, human observation—i feel like companions simply do not do this anymore. And they should!

5. Love the bark makeup. It’s so pretty!

6. The air from my lungs….this episode is so good damn it

7. Moxx of Balhoon better known as the CEO of sex. I give you the gift of bodily salivas lucky Rose

8. CASSANDRAAAAA

9. Rose being overwhelmed and running out. I can’t get over the amount of care and detail RTD put into writing her. She really is his baby. Can’t wait to see how he brings her back now (because he will. He will.)

10. Jabe’s device is unable to identify a timelord, probably because the rest of the universe thinks them dead? Although her reaction is very different from that of the Nestene Consciousness (who is implied to have lost quite a bit in the Time War), whereas Jabe doesn’t seem to have any personal connection. I wonder what the other outsider perceptions of the War were!

11. Ahhh Rose being kind to the plumber. I love my girl. LMAO at her realising she just hitched a ride with a complete stranger w/o thinking about it. The metal spiders are very Minority Report.

12. Your machine gets inside my head. It gets inside and it changes my mind, and you didn't even ask? the WRITING. Just chef’s kiss. Even in this sort of power dynamic, you never ever feel like Rose doesn’t have agency. She’s so smart and capable and fierce. i love her.

13. Gotta love how fast they switch from arguing to flirting. Jiggery-pokery <3

14. I might be late home. and then she comes back a YEAR later JESUS

15. Bad Wolf mention!

16. Hahahah i can’t watch the Jabe scene without thinking of plant sex now, courtesy of Katie

17. I was born on that planet, and so was my mum, and so was my dad. I love how much Rose loves her dad. Like if you’ve never even known a parent, you probably wouldn’t bring them up in a context like this, but the addition implies that Rose thinks of her dad quite a bit, and this is a nice little subtle setup to my favourite episode of the season, Father’s Day

18. The sun filter scene! It’s unexpectedly tense. I remember being really worried the first time I saw it

19. This whole event was sponsored by the Face of Boe. He invited us. Jack set them up….god that’s so sweet. The fact that he knows that they’re properly together in Pete’s World at this point <3333333 he is Literally Us. Putting his blorbos in Situations.

20. What are you going to do, moisturise me?

21. At least it'll be quick. Just like my fifth husband. HUHHH?? LMAO

22. I love the turning fan trope, every time it’s in any movie ever, it’s got me on the edge of my seat

23. Everything has its time, and everything dies. OOF. Appreciate Rose still wanting Cassandra to be saved! Something something parallel with how she changed the Doctor so much that he’s willing to give Cassandra a peaceful death in New Earth <3 the power of love, folks.

24. The Earth death scene is beautiful. I remember feeling so sad that everyone just missed it! And the Doctor finally realising that maybe this wasn’t a great first trip for his young companion xD

25. I'm left travelling on my own 'cos there's no one else.---There's me. What a beautiful moment of intimacy. And such great acting! The Doctor is finally beginning to let her in, and Rose has attached to this stranger so quickly, despite how prickly and condescending he can be. Soulmates <3

Loveee this ending. 10/10 again!

#dw rewatch: s1 #rose tyler #ninth doctor #ninerose #rtd era #meta

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doomalade · 7 months

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I just can’t stop thinking about how damn bad the writing of Stella is.

Starting from the pilot and S1E1, Stolas’ affair is played off as a joke.

But then S1E2 has the aftermath of that and Stella is rightfully pissed off and you can see how hard it affected Octavia and that Stolas truly isn’t in the right. His actions were selfish and destructive of what little stability that the household had. We even see that Octavia grew up loved by both Stolas and Stella and that they really did try to make things work out even if it was a struggle or just little things.

It might have been a loveless and struggling marriage but it was something and now Stolas had thrown it all away and it’s all messy and complex and no one is winning and nothing good is coming out of this.

Then Harvest Moon Festival came out. This was the point that things started to take a turn for the worst.

At first I thought the idea of Stella hiring an assassin to kill Stolas as revenge for his affair was actually pretty in line. Like it made logical sense that something like that would happen with a royal of Hell when facing a scandal that could ruin reputations and enter lives, especially affecting Octavia who Stolas has seemingly been not caring or paying attention to during this whole thing in the way that he needs to be.

But then Season 1 progressed and Season 2 came along.

All of that interesting character drama and messiness was thrown out for Stella being a selfish evil empty headed ex who needs her brother to think for her while Stolas is so UwU innocwent bwaby who did no wrong.

And it’s just all once more building onto Viv’s inability to recognize the misogyny in her writing.

Millie isn’t a character outside of Moxxie.

Moxxie and Blitzø’s moms die off camera for a quick sad scene before the swearing and sex jokes resume.

Stella is reduced to a brainless evil ex who doesn’t care about anything other than killing Stolas and her brother has to tell her that she’s dumb and stupid and that she needs to care about the money cause Octavia doesn’t exist?

It’s just all so bad

#doom.txt #helluva critical #helluva stella

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mlobsters · 4 months

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supernatural s13e20 unfinished business (w. meredith glynn)

taking a second to reflect i'm just about a year into this spn first time watch. first screenshot i took was in s1e2 and that was feb 1, 2023. inching closer to the end but damn.

wtf is happening with gabriel fighting a werewolf-esque whatever with a singlestick type thing. and this music? so cheesy 70s whatever. i see you jay g (christopher is also guilty of it when there's A Theme though so)

aww he's got a list like arya. ok so, like kill bill. which i tried to finally watch here not long ago and i couldn't get past the first fight scene in the house. feel like i might have enjoyed it when it came out when i was 23, but my appetite for tarantino tanked somewhere along the line. also, we already did a reservoir dogs homage episode, did we need another one?

these massive motel rooms, what even

haven't made a dean loves the magic fingers reference in a long ass time. reunion tour of references too

so this is a directed by speight episode too. ok

the apocalypse is good for mary's hair apparently

GABRIEL I call that art. But yes, without me, you two chuckleheads never would've known how to throw Lucifer back in the Cage. DEAN But instead of giving us a hand, you ran. And you just did it again when you ditched us in the bunker. GABRIEL All right, Dean-- I have more important things to do than to join your little band of merry men. DEAN Hey, what you're doing? This? This is not important. GABRIEL Every day, Asmodeus tortured me. Every… day! He fed off my grace for years! He used me, he debased me until I was… What I went through… you don't forgive. Everyone who had a hand in it will die. Get me?

a) this weird explanation/retcon of loki actually being someone else and that's why gabriel was pretending to be him is... weird. b) i get the impassioned speech but talking to two dudes with many more years or torture under their belts, i think they get it

DEAN Not like I care about killing gods, okay? But this whole revenge kick? It's a waste of time. SAM What if it's not? DEAN You've seen it, Sam-- with me, with Dad. Revenge only ends one way-- ugly. SAM Well, maybe it doesn't have to. DEAN Okay, I think I know what this is. SAM Okay, what is this? DEAN You. You're you're so hopped up on this “Kill Bill” fantasy of his. SAM No, no, no. This has nothing to do with me. DEAN If you had a shot at Lucifer, you wouldn't take it? SAM Of course I would. But this is about Gabriel. He needs our help. [Dean rolls his eyes, but agrees to hear out Sam’s plan back in the room] SAM Gabriel, you agree to help us, we'll agree to help you.

and a throwback to revenge never pays. but like, why doesn't sam just go for the obvious, we need his help and maybe he'll do it if we help him quid pro quo. jay bringing the eye rolling music juice, wouldn't expect anything else

GABRIEL Well, Sleipnir's a lot of things, but mainly, he is a coward. I will bet all the personal lubricant in the S.F.V… that after we killed Narfi, he ran straight back to papa's skirts.

and throwback to references i don't understand, that used to be a regular occurrence in kripke-era seasons. per the wiki:

S.F.V. refers to the San Fernando Valley in California, the center of the adult entertainment industry.

wonder how many people caught that, seems awfully obscure

MARY I know you've been winning all these fights, and you want to take him on so bad. I was just like you, with hunting. But I learned the hard way-- thinking you can win all the time, running in blind into every fight? That's how you make mistakes. And the people here, they-- JACK I'm doing this for them. MARY You can't help them if you're dead. And I can't lose another boy.

i'm sorry mary but i snorted. we just haven't had enough time to really establish this, and it's been backburner at best when it's around. #boymom 🤪🤪🤪

LOKI Yes, you do. Little bit. Our treatment of your friend is payback for a slight of a more personal nature. The death of my father, Odin. DEAN Oh, that wasn't him. Lucifer did that. LOKI Ah. But why was my father there in the first place? To parlay, to deal with Gabriel's brothers. When we first made terms, I had only one condition-- I would give him my face, teach him to be me, the trickster, if he agreed to abandon the more… volatile affairs of his family. Forever. When he hit that hotel, he broke that promise, and it cost my father his life.

hokay. never gonna retain any of this. i thought odin died another way but i think i'm thinking of zeus. big ask for me to care/remember the nonsense plot going on from an episode in s5. i can only imagine if i watched this as it aired. perpetually lost

SAM That's not… I'm saying this has become a whole thing with you lately. DEAN A whole thing? SAM Yeah. DEAN Since when? SAM Since the last time we opened up a rift. Since you decided to sideline me and then head to Apocalypse World with Ketch. DEAN Okay, well… we talked about that. SAM Did we? Because I gotta be honest, after everything, you're treating me like I-I deserve to be back at the kid's table or something.

good on you, sam

DEAN Sam, I'm not gonna apologize for protecting you. SAM So that's what you think you're doing here? DEAN You remember what happened the last time we had front row tickets to the Lucifer/Michael show? 'Cause I do. You died… and went to Hell. But see, this time, the apocalypse isn't looking for us. We're actually looking for it. I don't care what happens to me. I never really have. But I do care about what happens to my brother. SAM Dean, we're going to that place, and we're gonna save Jack and Mom. Together. And if something happens, we will deal with it together. And if we die? We'll do that together, too.

on one hand it's like oh yeah, maybe dean is feeling the lingering trauma of what happened the last time michael and lucifer were in their lives. but also, they let so much of that slide it feels like it's just being used for convenience. but whatever. i'd rather this than no conversation at all

and damn straight, sam, everything together. dying is a little much, and you didn't get to follow through on that one anyway. read a fic the other day that was about dean being afraid once sam's blurry wife got to heaven, he'd want to leave to be with her. and they made the point that sam had almost the same amount of years with the blurry wife as he did with dean. and now i'm making myself sad again 🥲🫠 this is why i don't read much heaven fic

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 13x20 #jay gruska #meredith glynn #sam and dean mush

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legallydragonic · 1 year

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BREAKING BAD SEX SCENES ESSAY (1,953 words)

There are many sex scenes within the show Breaking Bad. Most, if not all of them have some level of significance to the plot and/or give us insight into the psyche of the characters. In this essay, I will be analyzing the significance of each and every sex scene in Breaking Bad. I will not be covering Better Call Saul sex scenes in this essay, though I may cover them in a follow up if I get really bored or it is requested. Obviously, spoiler warning for basically all of Breaking Bad.

In S1E1 of Breaking Bad, Skyler gives Walt a very lackluster and comedically awkward hand job for his 50th birthday. This scene is put in basically to show the audience how much of a loser Walt is at the start of the show. There is no passion in his sex life, as further exemplified in a conversation between Skyler and her sister Marie that takes place in the same episode. In this scene, Skylar confides in her sister and tells her that she thinks Walt has been seeming very distant lately. Marie then asks "How's the sex?" to which Skylar (honestly quite reasonably) responds with "Marie, Jesus!"

Marie ends the conversation with a "I guess that answers that..."

Contrasting the previous sex scene (if you can even call it that) between Skyler and Walt, in S1E1 we see Jesse crawling out of a window half naked as a topless woman throws his clothes out of said window, signifying to us the viewers that Jesse just had sex with his (now former) meth partners neighbor. This tells us that Jesse is a thrill-seeking young lad and possibly a bit of a player with a lively sex life. Very much the antithesis of Walt.

In the same episode, Skyler questions Walt about where he's been all day. Walt, in response to this, engages in sexual intercourse with her, presumably to avoid the questions. This scene directly contrasts the handjob scene as there is clearly some passion with this one, especially compared to the sex life between them that we are shown previously. In my opinion this shows that Walt is growing a certain level of disregard towards taking risks, seeing as Skyler is several months into her pregnancy at the time of this scene. The scene may also show us that Walt is done being a loser and that, with his cancer diagnosis, a flip has been switched. He will no longer be the lame milk toast man that he has been his entire life. S1E2 starts where episode one left off.

In S1E3, there is a brief scene where Jesse has sex with a prostitute in a motel. This scene again shows the audience that Jesse is a bit of a thrill-seeker, but that he's also kind of just a young adult male trying to get his rocks off. (He's supporting sex workers, what a king <3)

S1E7 has two back-to-back sex scenes, the first of which shows Walter rubbing his wife's thigh and crotch area during a school board meeting. This scene continues until Walter's name is called out and he is made to comment on recent events pertaining to equipment from his lab being "stolen" to be used in methamphetamine manufacturing. This scene is followed up with another sex scene where Walt and Skyler passionately have sex in the back of their car. After the deed is done, Skyler asks "Where did that come from? And why was it so damn good?"

To which Walter replies "Because it was illegal." and holyyy shit there's a lot to unpack there.

This is exactly what I meant when I said that the sex scenes can give us insight into the characters psyche because the Walter we see at the very beginning of the show would never even think of doing anything like this. Walter is not only more comfortable with taking risks now, but he actively enjoys it, possibly to a sexual degree. This is only the beginning of his transformation into becoming the monster we see by the end. Bravo Vince.

The next sex scene actually comes from a minisode called "Good Cop, Bad Cop" that is set before the events of Breaking Bad. This comedic mini-episode is actually a sex tape of Hank and Marie Schrader engaging in erotic roleplay where in Marie is dressed as a police officer and Hank is handcuffed to the bed frame. As the role-playing proceeds, Hank breaks character several times to nag Marie about her lack of authenticity, such as not reading him his Miranda Rights. Marie eventually gets sick of Hank's antics and complains to him about wanting just a little creativity in the bedroom before leaving the room with him still hand-cuffed to the bed. This scene gives us more perspective into the relationship between the Schrader couple while also giving us more insight into the characters individually, especially Hank. Hank is a man that is very concerned with keeping up his macho-man appearance, but I think it's sweet that he's not afraid to let his guard down around his wife.

TW: Sexual Assault

The next "sex" scene occurs in episode 1 of season two. In this scene, Walter is in a state of minor delirium, probably due to the events that he witnessed just prior to coming home, along with the numerous medications that he's on because of his cancer. Walter walks into the kitchen where Skyler is, and starts to engage interocourse with her. Skyler tries to reason with him and get him to stop, but he continues until Skyler has to scream at him to stop, then he finally does. This scene not only shows us the kind of stress that Walt is under, but also the dangerous effects that getting into the meth business is having on him as a person. He is on a slippery slope and it is starting to seep into his personal life and affect the innocents around him.

Throughout season two, there are multiple pre sex and post sex scenes between Jesse and Jane. Throughout the season we get to see their relationship develop as it eventually builds up to Jane's demise. In all of these scenes, you can really see how much Jesse loved her. He really loved her 😿

The last sex scene of season 2 is shown briefly during episode 13. Jesse is dealing with the death of his girlfriend and he is not coping very well. Walter finds him sleeping in a crack den. Graffiti and trash litter the whole place and two people can be seen having sex on the dirty floor. The purpose of this "sex scene" if you can even call it that, is of course to show the audience how fucked up and vile the place that Jesse's in really is, both physically and emotionally.

In S3E4, Skyler White has sex with her boss, Ted Beneke. At this point in the series, Walt and Skyler are pretty much estranged, much to Walt's dismay. This scene shows that Skyler is, for lack of a better term, done with Walter. She doesn't really want anything to do with him and is sleeping with Ted either out of revenge for how Walt has been making her feel, as a way to distract herself from/relieve the stress that she's under, or just because she is over Walt. Or, maybe a combination of these reasons. Earlier in the same episode, Walt tries to kiss his boss, the principal at the school he works at, for what I suspect to be similar reasons to Skyler's. Though, he is obviously not over her whatsoever.

In S3E11, we see a post-sex scene between Jesse and Andrea. Andrea asks Jesse if he's carrying any meth on him, to which Jesse responds by scolding her for wanting to get high when her kid will be home in just a few hours. Jesse is shown many times throughout the series to have strict moral boundaries when it comes to the mistreatment of children, this being one of them. This is also an integral scene to the progression of Jesse and Andreas relationship, as this is where he learns more about her story and the truth about what happened to Combo.

Episode 12 of Season 3 starts with a montage of Wendy, a prostitute, going down on several customers in their cars, as well as kind of just taking us through "a day in the life" with Wendy. This montage basically just serves as a re-introduction to Wendy since she plays a prominent role in this episode.

The last sex scene of season 3 is a comedic segment in which Marie bets Hank that she can get him hard, and if she does, Hank has to leave the hospital and come home. Now remember, when Hank was first admitted to the hospital, he had next to no feeling in his lower body, yet he was determined to stay in the hospital until he could walk out of there on his own two feet. Hank does end up losing this bet and leaves the hospital in a wheelchair.

In S4E3, a scene takes place that is similar to the one in S2E13 in that two people are shown briefly having sex on the dirty floor of a crack den, the only difference is that this time Jesse's house is the crack den. This scene serves practically the same purpose as the one in S2. Jesse has been feeling an extreme guilt after killing Gale and is keeping a bunch of drugged-up strangers partying at his house as a way to distract himself from the crushing guilt of what he's done.

Episode 5 of Season 4 shows a sex scene between Walt and Skyler. This was possibly put in to show that their relationship is being rekindled now that they are working together in Walter's slew of crimes. After this scene, Skyler recommends that Walt move back in with her and the kids to "hold up the story" to the IRS of them being happily married.

The last sexual scene in the show takes place during the final minutes of S5E2. In this scene, Walt climbs into bed with Skyler, who has been feeling a heavy guilt over the life-altering accident that she indirectly caused Ted Beneke, her former boss and sexual partner, to get into. Walt tries to manipulate her into not feeling so bad about it by telling her that "When we do what we do for good reasons, then there's nothing to worry about.. and there is no better reason than family."

He tells her this while kissing and rubbing her up and down very intimately. Skyler is visibly uncomfortable as she lays very still in the bed that they now share once again, though she does not explicitly express her discomfort.

It is implied that they have sex after this, though it is not shown.

The words that he says to Skyler during this scene are very similar to the lies that we know he has been telling himself throughout the whole series to try and justify his own actions to himself.

These moments of intimacy (or lack thereof) in Breaking Bad carefully demonstrate the interpersonal relationships between characters as well as giving us a look into the psychology and state of mind that the characters are in. These scenes are also seen being used as plot points as well as character introductions. The sex scenes in Breaking Bad, even though 70% of the time it's just old people banging, do serve purpose, and they do make the audience feel. Even if that feeling is usually discomfort. THIS is what television is about.

My friends @tobieasgrey and @jailaffinity told me to write this.......

#brba #breaking bad #jesse pinkman #walter white #brb #skyler white #this took way too long to write.........#pls enjoy #legality rambles

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xieyaohuan · 2 years

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Butchlander twitter art fave masterpost

I spent the day sifting through all the Homelander and Butchlander art on the effing bird site so you don't have to. Seriously, I hate twitter, but go check this stuff out, it is SO good! Warnings, triggers and nsfw indications to the best of my abilities. (You may need a bird site account for some of these.)

@ vanshoundd art faves

Check back frequently because they're doing the NSFW OTP October/30 Day challenge, and Butchlander is the OTP 🎉🎉🎉; here are my faves so far:

Day 11: Dom/sub (nsfw) Butchlander Vampire/Werewolf AU plus delicious tied up kitty meowmeow

Day 10: Doggy style (nsfw) I'm crying (the hand!!)

Day 7: Dress/naked (nsfw)

Day 2: Kiss (nsfw) bathroom sex basically unf

Day 4: Masturbation (nsfw, explicit) boots and gloves stay on of course lol

Day 1: Cuddles (sfw-ish)

Day 12: Fingering (nsfw) I'm slow so I'm still trying to figure out the anatomy here lol

Butchlander Butcher POV (nsfw) that's a sweet sweet view

@ its_alexholden art faves

Same as above, they're doing NSFW OTP October challenge with Butchlander as the OTP 🎉🎉🎉; my faves so far:

Day 3: First time (nsfw) omfg the hands and the sheets and the eyes I'm going to lose my mind

Day 7-9 (nsfw) especially Against the Wall *chef's kiss*

Day 4-6 (nsfw, explicit) especially Day 4: Masturbation because I love me a Homie on his knees?

@ darunyamahorny art faves

Butchlander laser eye fuck part 1 (nsfw) (Yup this is totally canon - they were even going to make this canon in S1E2 before we ever learned about Starlight)

Butchlander laser eye part 2 (sfw-ish) OMG THOSE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

Butchlander don't have a tenner fuck (nsfw) (the sfw version is on tumblr)

@ lowlifesymptoms art faves

Passed around (Homelander/???; nsfw, non-con, explicit) this is probably one of my all time faves yes I'm a horrible person

Forced-fem, pretty panties (nsfw, explicit) *chef's kiss* this one's also on AO3 somewhere if the bird site doesn't let you view it

Same but line-art

Butcher and Soldier Boy nonconning HL (nsfw, non-con, blood, incest duh; explicit) this is another fave of mine because yeah I'm evil, but this is totally how S3E6 should have ended thank you

Same but line art (same warnings) damn man if you'd thrown in Hughie this would have been my ultimate S3E6 dream

Costume swap line-art (nsfw, explicit)

Other faves

Cute Butchlander sketches (semi-sfw?)

HL feeling excluded (sfw) basically just canon

Co-parenting (sfw) S4 canon

HL with dog ears but I'm including this for the delish handcuffs and the other sketch with the vampire teeth (sfw-ish)

There's honestly so much more and I'll probably post a second round of these, but that was all the sifting I could do today.

#homelander #butchlander #art #master post #twitter #art from the bird site #go check it out this stuff is GOOD #🎉🎉🎉#(sorry this tagged one unrelated account on tumblr and I can't get rid of it because I have no tumblr literacy?)#maybe if he was a little less fuckable he wouldn't be in this mess

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almalvo · 1 year

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STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E2 "Battle at the Binary Stars"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

god this show looks so fucking juicy with all its colours and shapes and resolution … BURNHAM IS SAREK'S WARD??????? bro bro is she a sibling in upbringing with spock or something. everyons so fucking pretty ugh these sounds i really want this uniform LMAO THAT LOOK SARU GIVES BURNHAM AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA saru is so good looking UGHH THIS INTRO I CANT I CANTTTT LOOK AT IT ITS SO PRETTYYY i love the feeling DISCO gives me im so happy for star trek getting such a massive visual and all around production upgrade also i just realised since old-trek's Star Trek Enterprise series, we have been inching closer and closer to the one that started it all. Star Trek ENTERPRISE > DISCOVERY > STRANGE NEW WORLDS…

does this… mean we are…. just possibly……… heading into a reprisal of some kind of "Origins" production in the future non-AOS?

if so i know it will never be a replacement of what is irreplacable. but im actually EXCITED to see something like that. if even it were to be a bad project, it would still be such a tickling spectacle - an experience that reminds us of where we came from.

but also.. to see what came before to be such a modern topic to discuss and potentially (i fucking wish) revive the world with its gravity and vision - all eyes on Star Trek once again……… it would be so worth it. it would be. everything.

anyways back to the episode LMAO UGHHH look at the way all the united federation ships warp in among their brethren ughhhhh ughhhhhhh takes my breath awaayy i like klingon whats odd is it sounds so slow in this rendition man the amount of work it took to get this pronunciation right ughhhh everything looks so pretty in this literally movie quality for a TREK series

no but also one more thing - back to the idea about the future of modern trek, since the movie saga has fallen flat, if we head into a modern revival of TOS, featuring AOS cast as a different universe/mirrorverse or seomthing cameo in TV/STREAMING EPISODIC FORMAT would be just… JUST-

...

i am so curious as to how and why burnham and sarek are even existing together simultaneously ugh damn look at the damage on the ship the detail i love saru's eyes hearing this as the ship's computer voice is so odd to me because im so used to Majel's voice but hey its smooth what is happening also oh my god this mind meld scene is so pretty oh my god im so curious how Burnham and Spock's dynamic even IS THE FUCKKK?? what would that even BE??? i only know spock exists because that is one of the few spoilers ive seen of this show - i KNOW hes in DISCO. as well as pike but thats it. what purpose they serve and why? no idea. and how burnham becomes captain?? god im so curious iits so intersting to hear statements as familiar as "weapons disabled" being said in such a new setting. with such a new sound for somehting so classic. tractor beam WHO WHOS EUROPA? WHATS ON THAT SHIP WHOOO

the human and klingon transmission will never be in peace… until far into TOS's timeline.. man this is so INTERESTING. HEARING KLINGON TERRAN. I CANT LIE i miss their fabulous long locks of hair bro klingon ship is fucking knifing through this ship dude that is so hardcore but also devastating af oh my god this antimatter explosion looks so fucking pretty admiral is gone the chian of command shifts how does this go phillipa doenst become admiral does she? then burnham as captain i doubt its this easy nah its so weird to hear klingon so spaced t'kuvma is such a cool name ughhhh lok at all the WARPPPING SHIPSSSS hearing klingon accent is cool love how smart the ship is oh god burnham you MADLAD yo they goin hard the klingon attire is so victorian english inspired not too keen on that ahha ughhh saru is sooo NICE TO LOOK AT such nice features this ready room is very reminiscent of what is to become enterprise internal design i mean, of course. but i just cant help but hype over it all thats interesting, to have a human taught as vulcan. hmm a subtly different circumstance than that of spock. the visual aberration effect is working well in this series ahaha DISCO has a very…. odd feeling from since its first episode that continues into its second one - it doesnt feel super episodic at all? it feels all like a really long montage. the sets are so pretty whoa those armoured vests though? touch screen energising ughh the gold animation of the energising effect is lovely those klingons dropped so fast and easy from those phasers dude these are some of the sexiest phaser designs ive ever seen. the klingons are just dropping like nothing whoa burnham's yell when the klingon grabbed her was so not her XD it didnt sound like her oh wow we are actually seeing the short handheld klingon knife OH SHIT well i see that this is how phllipa is usurped by burnham.. BRO YOU JUST LEFT HER BODY THERE hmmm interesting the pacing of the first two episodes is very… fast

t'kuvma is dead already?? i think its this pale klingon that ive seen on the comic cover whoaaaa all these shuttle/escape pods leaving like baby toads off momma's back XD (if you know, you know.) its so montagey very consistently - i guess THIS is where we start the series as it is to be? i really like this chiaroscuro lighting hm. its over already huh idk if its me - but apart from the visually and audially beautiful presentation - it has an odd feeling to it i cant lie. i think it must be because of this 2-episode montage. i hope it is.

i guess ill find out.

#star trek #star trek discovery #discovery #DISCO #nutrek #thoughts #text #reaction #almalvo

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arillusionist · 8 months

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s&b s1e2 live reaction!!

the episode title omg... nina and matthias better show up in this

young mal and alina are so cute

KAZ AND INEJ ALREADY?? IM BEING FED HELL YEAH

but i can tell this is not gonna be a cute scene

i mean their scenes are never "cute" but shes already yelling 😬😬

OH THAT WAS PAINFUL TO WATCH

inej is so valid tho i love how she knows what she wants and she doesnt let herself get pushed around 💪💪

even by kaz

the darkling isnt even that hot what do people see in him??? the crows on the other hand.............. bangers all of them

ah this is the scene from the trailer

oh thank god we're in ketterdam again i like alina's plot but its very predictable and crow's plot is not

and thats funny considering i've read soc but not s&b 💀

inej is gonna save kaz im calling ittt

oh nvm!! see what i mean abt it being unpredictable

Ahh inej and jesper time 😍😍

STOPPP NOT INEJ DRINKING JESPER'S SHOT

wait huh?? why is inej going to the menagarie????

KAZ DRINKING JESPERS SHOT TOO IM CRYINF

indirect kiss 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 (not really)

KAZ HAS BLUE EYES?? I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS HES SUPPOSED TO HAVE BROWN EYES INEJ LITERALLY DESCRIBES THAT A MILLION TIMES

damn kaz is smart

alina girl theyre not tryna kill you

what tf does mal have against grisha 💀💀💀

happy to see inej but why the Fuck is she still in the menagerie i dont like this

WHEN SHE LETS HER HAIR DOWN >>>>>>>

"would you like to see how it works" HDHFLKJFKLJFL

okok thank god shes just gonna kill someone i thought that heleen bitch was gonna make her do what she did before

jesper being in awe of inej is so funny to me 😭😭

i feel like everybody is being way to chill abt alina being a fucking Sun Summoner. like theyre all like ohh yeah ur special ur the chosen one but thats it?? why arent their reactions more extreme?? this girl is literally a legend?????

every time a fjerdan appears i go a little delulu and think its matthias

look i js wanna see all the crows ok?? 💔💔 ik wylan isnt in this season but stilllll

i can definitely see how harsh the fjerdans are towards grisha now.. like it was obvious in soc but this rlly Shows it

oh OH damn

JESPER ASKING FOR AN EXPLOSIVES EXPERT LMAO 😭😭

i love jesper

OH SHE DID IT!!!

aww i feel bad for alina ☹️💔

GET AWAY FROM HER GET A JOB 🗣️🗣️

"you would turn your back on her so quickly?" dawg.....

the person saying "eh whatever" in the background when jesper fired 💀

jesper is so bad at lying

KILL HIM INEJ

…she has a brother??

"you choose him over my freedom" "you assume its one or the other" hdhfjk the angstttt

ok i know inej is mad at kaz but the shot where they were looking over the conductor guy... THE power couple omg 🔥🔥🔥

aww alina 💔💔 jessie is a hella good actor tho

what is she doing!?!?!?

OH MY GOD THE SCENE CUTTING TO KAZ AFTER THE GUYS TALK ABOUT DOING FOOLISH THINGS FOR YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS

HE SOLD THE FUCKING CROW CLUB ?????

HE DID IT FOR HER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KAZ

KAZ OH MY GODDDD

KANEJ IS REAL

THEY ARE REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

AUGHHHH H💗💖💖💖💖💖💖

ITS NOT ALL ANGST AHDFJKFLJGKJGLKJGLKJFKLJLKFJ

i could not care less about mal pining for alina KANEJ. IS. REAL. AHHH!!!!!

ok i care abt alina tho!! ☹️☹️ feel so bad for her

aww its overrr 💔💔 if the show wasnt on the verge of cancelation i would watch another one but im tryna stretch this out

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #sab reaction

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jvstheworld · 8 months

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My Ted Lasso Re-watch: S1E2 (part 1)

Biscuits

Sleeping Ted, anyone else want to snuggle up with him? Do you think that because his marriage is struggling he's starving for physical affection?

Shredded wheat, it's not very tasty, personally. I used to add sugar to it so it would taste nicer, which meant that the milk tasted better too.

Busking is very common in the UK. It's how a lot of popular singers and bands got their start.

'Knock-a-doodle-doo'? Ted, you are too adorable.

Rebecca, Googling your ex is never a good idea. Ever!

Apparently the biscuits made in season 1 tasted bad, so Hannah Waddingham is acting her arse off when eating them. The Babish Culinary Universe has a recipe for them on their YouTube channel.

Biscuits and cookies are two different things in the UK.

I love Ted's reaction to Rebecca's 'fuck me' when she tries the biscuits, like he didn't expect them to be that good.

Ted really wants to get to know Rebecca and despite her attempts to get rid of him, she always sticks around and listens.

'High five tree'. He high fives a tree shaped coat rack. Ted needs to stop being so cute. And when I say stop, I mean continue until the end of time.

Ted had a ponytail at one point? I've seen what Jason Sudeikis looked like with long hair and oh boy, he looked damn good.

Also, the camera focusing on Ted's hands is an indication of his anxiety levels, which he tried to hide by keeping his hands in his pockets. I have a similar thing during my moments of anxiety where I can't stop fidgeting with my hands.

They make an Exorcist ref? Okay.

Roy being the oldest on the team is protective of the younger ones, especially Sam. He knows how team mates should be, which is why he gets so pissed off with Jamie.

'Be a goldfish' the first of many iconic lines from the show. Sam doesn't quiet understand it yet, but he will by the end. Ted isn't talking to him about Jamie's insults, but only about his actions during training. During a match you need to be focused on the task at hand, not beating yourself up about what you could have done better. You pick yourself up, and move on. That's what Ted is trying to say, just in his own way.

Sam and Roy are the only 2 players to say hi to Rebecca on their way back to the locker room.

The sport massages for the players are being done in the locker room because the treatment room is off limits due to being haunted.

Part of Ted's charm is that he likes getting to know people, he enjoys hearing bits about Nate's life. And we can gather that Nate is a good uncle to his niece.

Ted really wants to see if things can be made better around the club and for the team. A direct approach is often off-putting, so a suggestion box works. It might sound silly to the team, but if one person has an idea on how to improve things, then it can have a knock on effect for the rest of the team too.

Roy might have a problem with it but Ted needs to start somewhere to begin to build trust, and fixing a minor issue can help with that. It shows that he cares about their concerns and wellbeing, as a good coach should be.

#ted lasso #rebecca welton #roy kent #sam obisanya #jamie tartt #ted lasso rewatch #tv show thoughts

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miqojak · 2 years

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FFXIV Write Prompt #1: Cross

"So I ran away, crossed the shining sea. And when I finally set foot back on solid ground, the first thing I heard was that goddamn voice. Do you know what it said? It said, "This is the new world, and in this world, you can be whoever the fuck you want." " —Maeve Millay, Westworld s1e2, Chestnut

She'd crossed unfathomable distances, to be where she was now.

Most of the natural splendor had been lost on a young woman fleeing in fear - merely trying to stay ahead of the war that had already chewed her up, and spit her out.

She'd clung tightly to who she'd been, then - desperately trying to take care of the only family left to her, by way of a twin brother who'd never tasted war like she had... and in a way, she'd hated him for it; and yet all the same... she'd have died, to keep him from ever having to suffer as she had.

But now? She'd lived longer than she'd ever expected to, been abandoned by the very brother she'd never imagined losing again, and where had all that journeying truly left her?

What did it all amount to?

She'd never expected to meet a crossroads in life; never expected Garlemald to finally fall; she had never expected to be without her twin, nor to... find someone who cared about her; who saw the world much as she did.

She was finally at that place that a younger, naiver J'kesri had anticipated finding when she'd been on the run, desperate just to make it to Ul'dah, the land where the sand itself was made of gold, if you listened to half the merchants that hailed from the damn place.

She had abundance now - more than many, less than many more - affection, a home, a high position in her 'job'... all that was left, was deciding who she'd be, really. What was left? Yakuza wasn't what she wanted to focus on for the rest of her years, but she didn't even know what small steps to take beyond as much...

In a world where she could choose anything she wanted... what did she want?

Payback, mostly.

With Garlemald wiped off the map, perhaps Ul'dah came next - it was the jewel of the desert that had crushed the last seeds of hope in a young refugee's heart, after all. In a way, the people there were worse than the Garleans... they liked to fancy that they were the 'good guys', and all the while they fluffed their feathers, they walked on the backs of people like her.

Besides, did she really have any better pursuit, than to torment the rich?

#ffxivwrite2022 #ffxivwrite #ffxiv #ffxiv rp #ffxiv writing #garlemald #former POW #yeah she's still figuring out how to adult #when she never expected to live this long #and things are going well?#what do you do when things are going well?#this also made me think of the Hanged Man #and being at a crossroads #what is making you feel stuck?

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wendytestabrat · 2 years

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Every Stendy episode in order if you wanted to watch their problematic relationship unfold and see how toxic and abusive Wendy is LOL

Cartman Gets an Anal Probe (s1e1)

Weight Gain 4000 (s1e2)

Wendy fucking makes Stan go with along with her bitchass plan to expose Cartman’s fake paper or whatever bc she was jealous he won the contest and not her

Pinkeye (s1e7)

Wendy fucking makes Stan dress up as Raggedy Andy and then changes her costume to Chewbacca at last second without telling him.

Tom’s Rhinoplasty (s1e11)

Wendy’s toxic jealous ass kills a substitute teacher and shoots her into the sun bc she couldn’t handle Stan paying attention to someone else.

Chef’s Chocolate Salty Balls (s2e9)

Wendy fucking drags Stan along to these boring ass films he doesn’t like, and then when he tries to hold her hand she fucking steals his soda and puts a DIRTY TISSUE in his hand

Clubhouses (s2e12)

She forces Stan to build a clubhouse to play truth or dare so Stan does it bc he’s a simp and he wants to kiss her, but instead of just kissing Stan, Wendy lets Bebe fucking dare him to jab a stick up his peehole.

Chef Goes Nanners (s4e7)

Wendy fucking cheats on Stan and kisses Cartman, ‘nuff said 😤

Bebe’s Boobs Destroy Society (s6e10)

Wendy fucking gets BREAST IMPLANTS bc she was so fucking jealous of Stan liking Bebe for her boobs. And ya’ll say Cartman is the crazy one for getting implants when Wendy did the same shit LOL.

Raisins (s7e14)

She fucking dumps Stan for no reason and doesn’t even tell him to his face just to hoe around with Tolkien.

Follow That Egg (s9e10)

Wendy fucking shits on Stan over his parenting skills over a god damn egg, and tries to pit him against Kyle bc she was bored and wanted his attention. And then her narcissistic ass has the nerve to be like “You made a great dad I’m sorry I doubted you” like Stan gives a crap about what she thinks.

The List (s11e14)

Boring don’t care

Super Fun Time (s12e7)

Stan & Wendy pair up on the field trip together but bc Wendy is snobby and stuck up, she tries to make Stan feel like he’s not good enough for her and deadass shits on him at the end and calls him a dork even tho he SAVED KENNY’S LIFE

Elementary School Musical (s12e13)

Wendy fucking hoes around with the Bridon kid, and then lies to Stan that she wouldn’t leave him for Bridon even tho she continues to hoe around with him after he expresses his hurt.

Butters Bottom Bitch (s13e9)

UGHHHH this is really when Wendy begins to get even more fucking annoying. Wendy gets mad at Stan and fucking yells at him for no reason even tho he defended her against Butters for calling her a bitch.

Dances With Smurfs (s13e12)

Wendy again, gets mad at Stan for no reason for standing up for her. He tries to help her stop Cartman when he was writing that book about her being a slut (I mean he’s not wrong tho) and then she fucking yells at him.

You Have 0 Friends (s14e4)

Wendy gets fucking jealous again for no reason and then accuses Stan of seeing another girl and yells “fuck you” at him bc his gma said something on his facebook page.

Insheeption (s14e10)

Ass Burgers (s15e8)

This is one of the only Stendy episodes I like Wendy in bc she cared about him and wanted to help him when he was depressed even tho Kyle didn’t do shit.

The Hobbit (17e10)

Wendy is a jealous bitch again over Stan looking at the pics of photoshopped girls, but this is just getting redundant at this point.

Gluten Free Ebola (s18e2)

UGHHHH Wendy gets all pissy at Stan for breaking up with her to start a startup company in the previous episode and she makes this dumbass speech to him about not walking out on people or some shit even tho she’s done the same thing to Stan herself in all fairness she had the right to be mad tho

Cock Magic (s18e8)

She gets all pissy at Stan for not knowing she was in volleyball or going to her games, I mean I get why she was mad but like it was still demanding bc we never see her show an interest in stuff Stan likes. And she deadass didn’t even say she was in the team either she just told Stan he should go to the game at the beginning of the episode and she made it sound like she was just going to watch.

Skank Hunt (s20e2)

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH you know what happened, next

Oh, Jeez (s20e7)

Boring, next

(s21-23) did they really not talk for 3 seasons?

They fucked at the end of the Post Covid specials tho

#stendyrantgarbage

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