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incorrectbatfam · 1 year

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Tim and Jason headcanons 👀

One morning during breakfast Tim keeps excusing himself to go to the bathroom to fix his boxers because they must've stretched in the wash. Meanwhile, Jason can barely move and waddles into the kitchen like he has a rubber band around his legs. Imagine the horror when they connect the dots and realize their underwear got swapped

One day Tim's room suddenly starts to smell like tomatoes and he tears it apart trying to find the source. Turns out Jason put soup in the humidifier

Jason: *gives Tim an iced coffee*

Tim: "You put salt in it"

Jason: "No I didn't"

Tim: "I can literally see the crystals"

Jason: "What crystals?"

Tim: "Right there, all settled at the bottom"

Jason: "That's how the coffee is"

Tim still owes Jason for the time Jason stopped him from faceplanting in Alfred the cat's litter box

Contrary to how it appears, Jason's hair is thicker. It's so thick that Tim accidentally drops a glob of mayonnaise in it and Jason doesn't notice until he combs his hair hours later

They get bunk beds on a mission. Tim gets the top bunk after losing rock-paper-scissors. While he's asleep, Jason moves the ladder to the other side

Jason puts a cockroach on Tim's desk thinking he'll freak out. Tim, who's on his third day without sleep, looks Jason dead in the eye and eats it

As a kid, Jason often re-wore dirty clothes until he absolutely had to go to the laundromat meanwhile Tim washed his more frequently in small batches so he wouldn't get told off for having a huge pile. Cut to the present day where Tim's sifting through a mountain of Jason's laundry for a pair of socks and Jason is offering zero help whatsoever

They stand out in the rain to see who gets drenched first. It's usually Tim—he absorbs water like a paper towel. Jason then gets in trouble because Tim could've gotten sick ("Thanks, Bruce, not like I'm soaked to the bone too")

And when Tim gets sick, he refuses to take his meds unless someone sneaks it into his food. Finally, Jason has a use for the NyQuil Chicken TikTok

Jason drives three hours from an out-of-state safehouse to hide in Tim's closet and scare him. Little does he know, Tim is in the closet at the safehouse, waiting to pounce on Jason

Jason peels a pride sticker off a villain's car and gives it to Tim

Jason mixes all the Goldfish crackers into a dough and bakes them into a single giant Goldfish. Why? 'Cause he can, and Tim needs something to test his new food pic filters on

In March their patrols end by meeting at McDonald's for Shamrock Shakes

Tim prank calls Jason and convinces him he's lost in Metropolis. Eight hours, countless Bizarro flights, and two unfortunate geese encounters later, Jason storms into the Batcave while Tim simply grins and asks, "What'd you think of my new VPN?"

Tim and Jason find a wheelbarrow at a crime scene and keep it after the case is closed because it's a free wheelbarrow. This happens twice more and now they have enough for a family wheelbarrow race

Bruce makes them spend more time together, so Jason decides to teach Tim the Three-Card Monty. Tim just nods along because he doesn't know how say that he already learned it by watching the second Robin out-con a conman

Jason wakes Tim up one morning by chucking a feather duster at him, saying Alfred wants everything clean. So Tim gathers all the dust in his room and dumps it on Jason's bed before going back to sleep

The Ferris wheel has a clear "no food" policy but Tim doesn't listen and sneaks a chili dog anyway. Jason's in the seat below him, and it's the second time something falls in his hair without him noticing

Jason: "Red Robin, do you read me?"

Tim: "Affirmative. What do you need?"

Jason: "Pick a different gargoyle. That one's mine"

Tim: "I don't see your name on it"

Jason: "Check the underside"

Tim: "It just says Robin, so technically it's both of ours"

At one of Jason's safehouses there's a mysterious bucket in the corner of the living room. No one but Tim knows what it's for

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bylertruth3r · 3 months

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there are gonna be s1 flashbacks in s5 and there's gonna be a stand in actor for younger Will so what if they add the deleted scene of Mike crying while biking home after seeing "Will's fake body" in the lake? (Vecna might use it against him, maybe during a nightmare? or maybe it will be during be a nightmare idk and then Will is gonna check up on him (if he's sleeping in Mike's room) which would parallel Mike checking up on Will in s2) and what if they put a flashback of byler's first meeting? also they're gonna explore Will's time in the UD 👀 (and maybe him getting his powers?) also we're getting protective Robin omg we're actually getting a sapphic couple in s5

because there's a school with a swingset near the set

and a swingset at the farm

#stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #mike wheeler is gay #will byers #stranger things 5

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taciturnpoet · 4 days

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highlights of my partner watching dead poets:

the second neil shows up on screen, he hasn’t even spoken yet: “oh that man is gay”

—

“oh i didn’t know robin williams was in this! father figure.”

—

neil and todd meeting: “and they were roommates” 👀

*proceeds to make a kissy noises for the next five minutes whenever anderperry were on screen together*

—

charlie introduces himself: “oh, well, that wasn’t straight.”

—

mr. perry pulls the “you know how much this means to your mother” card: “oh fuck you, you’re one of those guys.”

—

every scene with knox: *cringing* “oh king. no.”

—

meeks and pitts dancing: “oh c’mon now that’s gay. they’re about to kiss.”

—

neil talking about joining the play: “oh he’s going to get his ass beat. he’s going to die.”

(note: he had no idea neil was legitimately going to die, he just knew this was my favorite movie and ethan hawke was in it lol)

—

desk set scene, sad for todd: “this poor guy. poor little meow meow. he deserves better.”

—

he spent the entire movie after the play looking between me and the screen because i was crying

#he knew absolutely nothing about this movie going into it #but he enjoyed it a lot lol #i went and fount the 5.98 scene in the book #and read it to him #he is also a younger sibling #like i am #so todd was a little too relatable lmao #dead poets society #dead poets fandom #dps #neil perry #todd anderson #anderperry #charlie dalton #knox overstreet #richard cameron #gerard pitts #stephen meeks #kaz posts

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celaenaeiln · 6 months

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Based on the posts I've been reading, the Titans rlly dislike Bruce xD

Do you have a list of stuff of the Titans clowning/making fun/hating Bruce? 👀

If there's too many (omg is it??), maybe just your faves or those that rlly impacted you

They do!!

I had the post mostly done in my drafts when I saw your ask and decided this was the perfect opportunity to finish it!

BUT I DEFINITELY HAVE MORE!

The tug-of-war between the two groups comes from the fact that Bruce canonically has codependency issues with Dick. He honestly needs his son at all times for everything.

The source of Bruce and Dick's relationship problems all sum up to this:

Nightwing (2016) Issue #7

"I wanted to give him the freedom to make his own choices. To do things his way, even if that meant making mistakes. And then...well, then I blamed him for how difficult it was for me to let him go."

He's so, so proud of Dick but he refuses to release him to be free. When Dick manages to get away Bruce hisses and shrieks in rage and fury and hurt that Dick left. Even those long stints where Dick was ignoring Bruce after being fired or after Jason's death, Bruce never ignored Dick. Sometimes going as far as stalking him like at the circus.

This one is post-Jason, pre-Tim era.

The New Titans (1988) Issue #61

Ignoring the self-realization backtrack, it's applaudable that Bruce was even able to get those words out at all. Usually it's just heavily implied.

So the reason why Bruce hates the Titans so much is because they're his biggest threat. They have the possibility of taking Dick away from him forever and he's terrified of such a future.

It wasn't originally like this though. In the beginning when Dick said, I'm gonna hang out with the Titans, Bruce'd be like "Sure, Chum, have fun!"

Teen Titans: The Silver Age Issue #1

But as Dick grew older, there was increasing animosity between the Titans and Bruce. It got so bad that Bruce gave Dick an ultimatum: Me or the Titans. Choose.

Nightwing (1996) Issue #101

"I know, I know...I'm late. Titans Business. We just shut down Brother Blood for...good.."

"Save it."

"Look, I don't know how many hundreds of people we rescued from Blood's cult, but it was a pretty important mission."

"I said save it."

Nightwing (1996) Issue #101

But here's where it gets worse. Bruce and Dick are too busy fighting that they both missed Clayface recovering, obviously in the end they defeat him but neither of them are happy for the oversight which leads to the final scene.

Nightwing (1996) Issue #101

Bruce literally fired Dick because he couldn't stand him staying with the Titans.

"Robin is my second...my lieutenant. Anything less that total devotion to this cause is simply wasting my time."

Devotion to the cause or to you, Bruce? He's freaking Batman. He's done solo runs and Dicks done solo runs as Robin just fine but for some reason whenever the Titans are involved, he loses his goddamn mind.

But hey. Bruce isn't the only one who gives Dick an ultimatum.

Titans (1999) Issue #15

Damn, Roy.

He came out swinging with a chainsaw.

Both sides want Dick for themselves. About 80% of the Titans problems with Dick lie in the fact that they want him to have nothing to do with Bruce.

Batman (2016) Issue #19

Titans (1999) Issue #15

They just want Dick's priority and loyalty to be to them, undivided. Unfortunately, Bruce expects the very same-only it's for himself.

The Titans get so angry at Dick for going back to Bruce and Bruce gets so mad at Dick for favoring the Titans. But Dick loves both of them so there's literally no winning for him. The successful periods for Dick are when both sides comprise for him.

They're willing to work together to protect him though.

Titans (2008) Issue #1

Outsiders (2003) Issue #50

The instant de-escalation at protecting the reputation of Nightwing and her girlfriend. Not to mention how it was Batman who wanted to keep the dirt off Dick.

But the issue is, like Victor said,

Titans East Special

Titans are family.

But Bruce can't bear for Dick to have a family of his own that's not him.

#dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #alfred pennyworth #roy harper #arsenal #victor stone #cyborg #dc titans #titans as family #cl anon asks #thanks for the ask!

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disney-is-mylife · 21 days

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I think most people can agree that "Hellfire" from Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame is the best Disney villain song, if not THE best villain song in movie history. But what about the others? 👀

Happy voting! ❤

Due to lack of slots, I did not count:

any of the Package-Era films

"The Elegant Captain Hook" from Peter Pan

"We are Siamese" from Lady and the Tramp (problematic aspects aside, the cats aren't major antagonists. They cause mischief for One Scene, and never show up again)

"The Phony King of England" from Robin Hood (as much as that song slaps, it is a roast of the villain by the main characters, not a villain's triumphant song)

"Yodel-Adle-Eedle-Idle-Oo" from Home on the Range

"Love is an Open Door" from Frozen

#Starling Polls #Disney Soundtrack Polls #Disney #Disney animation #101 Dalmatians #The Sword in the Stone #The Great Mouse Detective #The Little Mermaid #Beauty and the Beast #Aladdin #The Lion King #Pocahontas #The Princess and the Frog #Tangled #Moana #Wish 2023 #original post #200+ votes #20 notes

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butcherlarry · 3 months

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Weekly Fic Rec 49

This week's fic rec list! I was surprised how much reading I got done, but then I remembered I had Monday off for the holiday :) So enjoy this longer than expected list!

A Sacrifice Love Demands by second_hand_heaven - Superwonderbat, complete. Bruce gets hit with a new fear toxin from Scarecrow. Featuring cuddles with Superman and Wonder Woman to make it better :)

I got better things to do by Amisti - Batman, complete. Batman, Flash, and Green Lantern get captured by a bad guy and thrown in a prison cell. Batman Brucies his way out, much to the shock of Flash and Green Lantern.

Brucie Moments series by That_One_Curly_Haired_Fangirl - Batman, stories are complete, but series is not. Some moments of Batman's Brucie persona showing through.

Flowers From Mr. Wayne by Ktkat9 - Superbat, complete. After an interview gone wrong, Bruce sends Clark some flowers to show his interest :))))))

a sky of honey by TheResurrectionist - Superbat, wip. More of the Superbat omegaverse fic that I always get excited about when it updates :) Featuring, Jason finally figuring out who Superman is, overreacting, and Clark having a Big Sad (but Lex makes it better, surprisingly).

Emergency Contact by Elegitre - Batfam, wip. An update to a fic where Tim joins the Batfam early. Jason has a misunderstanding about his place in the family, but Bruce makes it better.

A place to stay warm by Speechless_since_1998 - Batfam, complete. Barbara is Tim's babysitter. During some cold weather, the heat goes out in the Drake house and Tim is sick. Barbara makes the trek to Wayne manor for help.

how cleanly, how quietly by shipyrds - Batfam, complete. Bruce thinks Tim is lonely and tries to set up some father-son bonding to make it better. Turns out, Bruce is wrong and Tim has a lot of friends.

we shall be free; we shall find peace by mediant - Superbat, wip. I was SCREAMING with this fic's latest update! Clark is captured by the Bats, oh no! What's going to happen next!!!!!!! 👀👀👀

the walks of dreams by januariat - Superbat, complete. A sweet, smutty fic, featuring Adam West Bats and George Reeves Superman 💖💖💖

RIP to the Rumours by BoredomBeckons - Batfam, complete. Instead of dying, Jason retires as Robin and goes to college. No one told this to the rest of the world though.

I found a brother in the trash by Speechless_since_1998 - Batfam, complete. Dick finds a new sibling (Jason) in the trash and brings him home. Jason learns from his older brother, and finds his younger brother (Tim) in the trash and brings him home. Shenanigans ensue.

Flock Building for Dummies by DragonDart - Superbat, wip. A creature AU where Bruce is a harpy and Clark is the vet who takes care of him. Lot's of tasty, tasty world building in this fic too!!

bruce's villain origin story by InkpotSprite - Batfam, complete. Bruce gets turned into a cat, but none of his kids notice. Adorable shenanigans ensue.

Just A Little Bit... by HaleHathNoFury (My_Trex_has_fleas) - Superbat, wip. More of the alien Clark and eldritch Bruce fic! Clark goes off to investigate Cadmus with Lois and Bruce is Worried and Grumpy about it. Featuring my favorite scene with one of Ivy's killer plants >:D

Champagne Problems by SalParadiseLost - Superbat, wip. Himbo omega Brucie Wayne is dating alpha Clark Kent. He also suddenly adopts three children using unconventional means. Shenanigans ensue.

Patchwork Pod by Ktkat9 - Superbat, wip. More of the mer Bruce fic! Bruce is still missing and a new threat arises :((((((

Happy reading!!

#weekly fic recs #fanfic recs #fic recs #fanfiction recs #fanfiction reccomendations #superbat #batman #bruce wayne #batfam #superman #clark kent #fic rec

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giurochedadomani · 8 days

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Again, family au.

Perhaps rather than having a literal translation of the strawhats first meet ups in the story, perhaps it'd be more fun if they meet up in the context of a school play? Like, picture Zoro being a sort of edgy, solitary troy bolton getting dragged to Luffy's play whether he likes it or not. Or Luffy convincing stage designer Ussop to go onstage (and Ussop behaving as if he's the main character and obviously is going to receive an Oscar nomination). The whole scene with Luffy going all 👀 to Zoro showing up all dressed up while he's like ah yes nami friend you look okay

Also, the theatre class is full of weirdos who don't take very kindly the strawhats' invasion and Mihawk and Shanks have a bit of trouble keeping up with them bc it looks as if they? Use codenames? With numbers and holidays' names? Then there's Robin, a mysterious last year student who's considered the theatre teacher's pet. And Vivi, daughter of the principal..........

Do I talk about how Sanji's family doesn't show up? About what his father thinks about his 'soft' hobbies? Sometimes he wishes Zeff was his real dad and he could just invite him to those things because he's feeling So Out Of Place between Zolu and Mishanks and Nami and Nojiko and Genzo.

#mishanks #Zolu #dracule mihawk #akagami no shanks #One piece #one piece live action #Opla #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro

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her-midas-touch · 4 months

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We’re literally just third wheeling behind the screen at this point 😃

This scene was actually INSANE though like wdym nancy opens up a little more to robin and the main part she latched on to was robin saying “the happiness of my friends” ??? 🤨

WDYM “does that mean we’re friends?? as in officially”?? And with that face?? 👀🔎🤨🧐

OMG LOOK AT THEM

#THE WAY ROBIN LOOKS AT HER OMG #nancy’s shy little smile and how she’s looking down AHHHH #WHY ARE THEY SO BASHFUL AND SHY ABOUT IT DHHHHHGGVGGJG #THESE LOOKS SCREAM GAY ARGUE WITH THE WALL #idc what you feel about ronance let’s just collectively take a moment to appreciate this scene lmao #ronance

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rebouks · 7 months

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Let's be nosy and see what a few folks have been up to recently and/or since Somnium ended, shall we..? 👀

Kaden/Joey are still around, somewhere.. Joey would probably tell you by accident, but Kaden keeps him on a tight leash. I very much doubt either of them have changed their ways, you can't teach an old dog new tricks and all that... I dunno if we'll really see em again properly, though I never say never!

Brynn, Ace and Robert may have left Del Sol, but Randy and Genesis are still stuck in their old ways. Sissy likes the attention and money from her "job" too much to leave. I think part of her still hopes someone's gonna whisk her away to a life of luxury and she'll live happily ever after, just like Brynn did.. assumedly 😩 Randy won't leave without her ofc, and he doesn't really like change anyway. He's lazy, what else is he gonna do?! The motel barely makes any money either, but he manages with a few odd jobs from the less savoury folks around town. They're doing swell 👍

Luckily, no one ever ratted on Darien and he was far too careful to end up under the microscope without being exposed - especially since Wyatt left the scene - so he moved back to San My eventually. Ever the workaholic, he found himself a job at the same accounting/law firm as Wade (props to anyone who remembers him lmaoo) he doesn't need the money but he'd probably go insane without a job ngl 😆 He doesn't really find it easy to make friends either, and Wade recently found himself behind bars for a lil tiny bit of tax evasion so he's pretty lonely-.. although he did meet a fellow asexual lady friend he's been on a couple dates with recently. They have fun n' get on well, but she thinks he's this straight laced/awkward accountant and it makes him feel weird, like he's lying about himself.. so idk how long that'll last. I think he kinda misses being part of a "family", however fucked up it was.. but most of all, he just misses Wyatt 😔

Alma and Mack have been hanging out more often recently, just casually tho u kno?? She likes her freedom too much to give it all up, and although he's a great lover, he's a terrible boyfriend lmaoo.. I think she's accepted that Mack is Mack so they're not making it serious or official this time. They're not exactly getting any younger either, may as well have some fun whilst they're still here, right?! Kobe's considering moving out 'cause eugh 😆

Brivan n' co are just kinda living life right now, working, hanging out with Jacob/Suzie/Miya a fair bit and tryna get used to the news of Jude n' such u kno? Pixie's hitting her milestones like a champ ofc, but she's a picky eater just like her pappy 😅 Bruno insists he's fine but he's been a lil quiet and weird recently. Part of him still struggles with his old self and his guilt, though he ain't exactly a talker, so he retreats into himself now and then instead. He's been thinking of proposing to Ivan occasionally as well, but he doesn't want to do it whilst he's in a funk AND he's a lil worried (aka majorly overthinking) the fact that Ivan might not take too well to being proposed to?? But wait, nah.. he'd love it, right? Maybe-.. unless he hated it, maybe he'd rather be the one to ask-.. should he? Yes-.. no, wait-.. maybe?!!? Probably-.. AGHHHHHFJSDK <- said Bruno's brain 🙈

Jessie and Ivan have been taking it slow, mostly since she's so damn busy all the time, but also 'cause they hardly know each other n' all. Ivan's kinda bummed she's slow to trust him, but he can't exactly blame her so he's being patient n' meeting them whenever he can. Jude is so smitten with his new pappy tho, he even wanted to grow his hair just like him 😭 Oscar n' Robin have tagged along a few times as well since the kiddos are practically the same age, but idk if Robin is too sure abt Jude just yet! He's very talkative and he's a big hugger.. I wonder where he gets that from?? 🤣 I think Jessie's finally warming up to the idea of sharing Jude 'cause she agreed to leave him alone with Ivan for a sleepover soon! They're gonna get dressed up n' head to Oscar's for a spooky party! Oh, and Oscar thinks Jessie has a nice rack....... boi plz 🙄

Not pictured/spied upon..

Tilda - she's just existing rn tbh! She hangs out with Brivan/Pixie now n' then which she enjoys more than she'll let on! She's tryna stay away from dating and focus on herself too.. but she's not all that keen on herself so that's hard work 😩 a few dates here n' there but nothing interesting! She's also still ignoring her family.

Noah n' co - Aspen started teaching a few mommy/toddler yoga classes in the upstairs portion of Noah's gallery since he barely uses it, Juni loves it! Juni started ballet recently too 🩰 Noah's still salty with Oscar for not hanging out more but the man's busy dammit! I think Oscar's glad he's on semi-decent terms with everyone but he'd rather keep them at arms length so it stays that way skdjskjd

Salton - Alton's still Alton lmao.. though Sid gives him more shit nowadays since she's mostly retired she's realised he's even lazier than she thought and I'm sure she regrets letting him get a TV! She's a bit bored/lost tbh, which is why she hasn't fully retired yet.. introspection doesn't suit her (so says she) and she doesn't like all this extra time to think n' shit.. ough 🙈

Rhys & Tommy - both finished uni wooooooo! They're staying with Rhys' parents for now tho, Tommy's not rlly sure what to do with his psychology degree yet but he still thinks he'd like to be a psychologist so maybe he'll get a job/save up n' do his masters or smth?! Rhys has been taking on jobs as a wedding/event photographer for now, but he'd like to veer more towards photography as an art form-.. tho he's not sure how to go about that just yet either 🤔 they're figuring it out and they're happy so it doesn't rlly matter toooo much for now

Uhhhhh idk I've probably missed some folk out but feel free to ask abt anyone else in the comments! 🧡

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kindlingkeen · 24 days

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Hello again!!! :D I read ‘For those who can’t’ from your post replying a rec, and it was awesome! I was wondering if you had any fic recommendations yourself? 👀

In exchange I offer these recs (although I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve already read them!)

- Who I am. Who I'll Never Be. By Zootopon

- Children Will Listen by ParkerAvenue

Welcome back!! You can give your ‘Keen Converses’ punch card another stamp—collect 10 and you get a free AW-related fic ask! 😉

Thank you so much for the fic recs! At first glance at the titles, I think I may have read Who I am. Who I'll Never Be. A scene with an injured Jason in the Batmobile reciting prose to trigger a bomb on a bridge is coming to mind?? Children Will Listen isn’t ringing any bells. I will check them both out!

I posted this list of fic recs in response to an ask a couple week ago—they’re all gen and Jason-centric, with varying depictions of Jason and Batfam dynamics and an array of tropes. So check that out, if you haven’t already.

And here’s a second round of fics recs! All gen and mostly Jason-centric. Again I went for a variety of tropes, tones, and takes on Jay. Hopefully you find something that you like!

The Time Before by Cdelphiki @cdelphiki. Red Hood time travels into the past and merges with 9-10 year old baby!Jay’s body.

Make a Little Birdhouse in Your Soul series by bacondoughnut. Starts out as an UtRH AU and follows assassin!Jason’s road to rejoining the family. This version of Jason is so complex and richly characterized. The series includes two long-fics and a one-shot.

robin's roast by envysparkler @envysparkler. It’s a coffee shop AU that somehow works, but the real star of this story is Steph.

Ricochet (Or, The Side Effects of Being a Bibliophile) by waterunderthebridge. Red Hood Jason struggles to reintegrate with the Batfam, lots of really well written family dynamics (this author does not pull punches on either the hurt or the comfort), plus a good case fic mystery.

Batfam prompts by punkrockhades @punkrockhades. A collection of one shots, all of these are glorious in different ways, and some are truly hilarious.

#keen converses #ask and you shall receive #at least when it comes to batfam fic recs #fic rec #jason todd #red hood #batfam

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harringtonstilinski · 28 days

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Always The Babysitter - Chapter Twenty-Three: E Pluribrus Unum (Bonus Scene)

Author: @harringtonstilinski Characters: Steve Harrington x Olivia Henderson(OC) Word Count: 3,169 Warnings: angst, mentions of blood, steve getting his ass kicked, steve and robin being drugged, italics is steve hearing liv's commentary, tiniest bit of foreshadowing 👀 ?, non-canon hallucinations (not mentioned in story after this), Smut: no | yes; A/N: Hi, friends! Y'all voted for a bonus scene, and I'm here to deliver! Main focus is Steve and Robin's scenes. If you like this bonus scene, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox. As always, read at your own risk and enjoy 😊

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season masterlist

series masterlist

series playlist

Steve’s Pov

As soon as Liv, Dustin and Erica were out of sight, Robin and I were flung through the air to the wall next to us at the door being shoved open. Once we got our bearings, we raised our hands, Russian guards standing in front of us with their guns drawn. Ahh, crap.

They hauled us to our feet, essentially dragging us to separate rooms. My only thought as they kept asking me questions and punching me when I gave them my answers was that I was super glad Liv wasn’t here to hear or witness this. She’d be losing her shit.

As they punched me in the face, yet again, I groaned in pain, again thankful that Liv wasn’t here to try and kick the shit out of these Russian assholes. After we confessed our love to each other, my need to protect her increased tenfold. I’m sure her need increased, as well.

Feeling blood dripping from my mouth, I groaned, “That one stung,” before gasping for air.

What I’m guessing is the main head honcho for these buttwipes asked, “Who do you work for?”

“For the millionth time, I work at Scoops Ahoy!” Bringing my head up, I breathed out, “Scoops Ahoy,” doing my best to gear up for the next hit to the face… that didn’t happen. That hit went to my stomach, a pained groan coming from my throat before I yelled out, “What the hell?! ”

Bending over, I said, “Look at my outfit! Look at my outfit! My girlfriend might think it’s hot, but look at it! You think I just wear this?! Think I’m a spy in a sailor’s uniform?” Another punch to the stomach.

I can hear Olivia now saying, “You assholes! I’m gonna kill you!” or “I’ll take his place!” while struggling against another guard.

With a stone face, the head honcho asked with an uninterested tone, “How did you get in?”

Gasping for breath, I was bent over as I grunted, “I already told you,” before sitting up to say, “I told you before.” I gasped for air again, hearing Liv’s voice in my head saying, “Lie again,” before repeating my words from earlier. “My delivery didn’t come, and my friends and I, we thought that it was left at the loading dock, so we went into the room, and it tuuurrrrned into an elevator, and then…”

“You have to be a better liar, Steven,” her voice said.

“And then we dropped and then next thing we know, I open my eyes and we’re in this… wonderful facility.”

“Oh my god. Shut up, Steve.”

“But I swear to God, nobody knows about us, nobody saw us. You could just let us go, alright? And I’m not gonna tell anybody about this, okay? Shit happens, life goes on. And uhh… ice-ice cream. Ice cream, okay? You guys know what ice cream is.”

“They’re Russians, not aliens from space, Steven!”

“Everybody loves ice cream. I don’t know if you have Russian ice cream or if that’s considered gelato-”

“That’s Italians, Steve!”

“I don’t know what’s what, but whatever you guys want, seriously. USS Butterscotch, I mean, you gotta try it. It’s out of this world, I’m telling ya!”

Head honcho and the guy that was repeatedly hitting me just started… laughing? So, I joined in, as well. More nervously, of course.

“I like this guy!” Head honcho said. “USS… Butterscotch.” He laughed again, it turning into a chuckle as he bent down a little, resting his hands on his knees.

All I could do was look at him nervously, scared for what was to come next as the room fell quiet.

“Who do you work for?” he enunciated.

Well, shit. “Oh, come on,” I all but whined, eyeing the other guard. “No, no! No, seriously!”

Black was the very next thing that I saw as that douchebag hit me in the face… yet again.

~~~

I don’t remember much else after literally being knocked out, but what I do remember next was waking up to Robin’s voice calling out for help.

“Hey,” I said, groggily. “Would you stop yelling?”

I could feel her relief from just hearing my voice as she said, “Steve! Oh, my god!” before panting out my name. She was leaning back as I was leaning forward as she asked, “Are-are you okay?”

“My ears are ringing, I can barely breathe, my eye feels like it’s about to pop out of my skull, and Liv’s voice is running through my head, but ya’know, apart from that, I’m doing pretty good.”

“Well, the good news is that they’re calling you a doctor,” Robin said.

“Jesus, you two are idiots.”

I looked around the room, which looked liked a… ya’know, a doctors room. “Is this his place of work? I love the vibe.” Robin chuckled as I added, “Charming.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. So, okay,” she said. “Do you see that table over there to your right?”

I turned my head to the left. Don’t ask why.

“Babe. Your other left.”

“No, your other right,” Robin said.

Turning my head to my correct right, she added, “Yeah, okay. Do you see those scissors?”

“Uh-huh,” I confirmed.

“Yeah, well, I think that if we move at the same time, we could get over there, and then maybe I could kick the table and knock them into your lap.”

Picking up what she was putting down, I said, “And I could cut the binds.”

“Yeah, and we could get out of here.”

“Gotcha. Okay, yeah, we can do that.”

“Yeah.”

“Those morons. They left scissors in here?” I asked, turning my head side to side.

“Yeah, morons,” Robin added.

“Total morons,” I added to my own statement, adding with determination, “Okay.”

“Okay, so, on the count of three, we’re gonna hop.”

“O-okay, good, hop on three. I gotcha.”

“Alright. One.. two.. three.”

We both hopped towards the table, a little happy that this plan was actually working. Robin and I counted to three again, our excitement building at the fact that we were almost to the table… and I was almost to the point where I could hug and kiss my girl again.

Counting to three again, we hopped for a third time… only for our fucking luck to bite us in the ass because we ended up falling, our heads towards the table, our feet towards the door.

Robin and I both groaned at our heads and arms hitting the ground before I heard her crying.

“A bunch of fucking geniuses.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t cry. Robin.” Instead of hearing her cry, I heard her… laughing? “Are you laughing?”

She laughed harder before saying, “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. It’s just… I can’t believe I’m gonna die in a secret Russian base with Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington. It’s just too trippy, man.”

“We’re not gonna die,” I reassured. “We’re gonna get out of here, okay? Liv wouldn’t let us die anyway. She’d kill every single Russian down here before they could kill us. Just– you gotta let me just think for a second.”

It was quiet for a moment, my thoughts running through my brain before Robin asked, “Do you remember, uhm, Mrs. Click’s sophomore History class?”

I lifted my head, shaking it a little before asking with an annoyingly curious tone, “What?”

“Mrs. Clickity-Clackity,” she said. “That’s what us band dweebs called her.”

Sighing, I pressed my forehead into the floor, remembering when I was an asshole to everyone, the guilt eating at me in this moment.

“It was first period, Tuesdays and Thursdays, so you were always late.”

Even though we weren’t as close during that time, Liv had ended up scolding me more than a few times for always being late. “Goodness, Harrington. Don’t you own a fucking watch?”

“And you always had the same breakfast. Bacon, egg and cheese on a sesame bagel.”

“I know we’re not close anymore, but you could still bring me a freaking sausage McMuffin!” Since Liv scolded me the last time, every Tuesday and Thursday she’d find a Sausage McMuffin in her locker.

“I sat behind you, two days a week for a year,” Robin said. “Mister Funny. Mister Cool. The King of Hawkins High himself. Liv being your Queen.”

“Ugh! Don’t bring that up!”

“Do you even remember me from that class?”

“No.”

I didn’t know what to say because… well, I didn’t remember her. I didn’t care about anyone else or anything during high school. Other than the girls I’d bang, being in basketball and on the swim team, or being with Nancy… or being friends with Liv again.

Robin’s chuckle brought me out of my thoughts before she said, “Of course you don’t. You were a real asshole, ya’know that?”

Feeling incredibly bad, I said sadly, “Yeah, I know.”

“The biggest asshole, babe.”

“But it didn’t even matter,” Robin continued. “It didn’t even matter that you were an ass. I was still… obsessed with you.”

I could hear Liv’s scoff as she said, “Everyone was.”

“Even though all of us losers pretend to be above it all, we still just wanna be popular… accepted, normal.”

“If it makes you feel any better, having those things isn’t all that great,” I said, sniffling. “Seriously. Liv can tell you that… even though she… didn’t grow up the same as me.” Taking a deep breath, I sighed it back out as I said, “It just baffles me. Everything that people tell you is important, everything that people say you should care about, it’s all just…” I lightly chuckled before adding, “...bullshit. But I guess you gotta mess up to figure things out, right?”

“I hope so. I feel like my whole life has been… one big error.”

We both chuckled, a smile crossing my face for the first time since yesterday.

“Yep,” I agreed, a small smile on my face.

“At least it can’t get any more messed up than this,” Robin said.

“Ya’know, I wish I’d known you in Click’s class,” I said.

“Yeah?”

“Really. I do.”

“Olivia humbled you,” Robin whispered.

“Yeah. She did.” I smiled a little, thinking of my girlfriend and how grateful I am of her. How happy I am that she gave me a thump on my head when I needed it most. “Maybe you both could’ve helped me pass the class. Maybe instead of being here, Liv and I’d be on our way to college right now.”

“And I would have no idea that there were evil Russians beneath our feet, and I would happily be slinging ice cream with some other schmuck.”

We chuckled, I guess because we’ve accepted our fate.

“Gotta say, though,” I said. “I liked being your schmuck.”

“Uhm, hello?!”

I chuckled lightly at hearing Liv’s commentary in my head. “So did Liv. It was fun while it lasted.”

“It was.”

Our come to Jesus meeting was over at the sound of the buzzer and door opening. We looked up, seeing the Head Honcho walk in with three other people… and then he chuckled.

“Where were you two going?” he asked, brows raised and arms out to his side for a moment.

“Ugh! Just go somewhere, asswipe. You’re kind of annoying.”

He clicked his tongue before the two guards lifted us up, setting the chairs back on their feet. I could see it now; Head Honcho holding Liv back, struggling to get out of his arms. “Don’t you fucking touch them, Russian bastard!”

Head Honcho bent in front of me again as I felt Robin’s head leaning on my neck as he asked, “Try telling the truth this time, yes?”

“He is, you ignorant freak!”

“It will make your visit with Dr. Zharkov less painful,” he continued, stroking the side of my face.

Again, I could see Olivia struggling in my mind, yelling at the doctor. “Don’t fucking touch him, you sick bastard! I’ll fucking kill you!”

Touching a sore on my chin, I winced, once again, seeing Liv in my mind struggling against the guard, her hair all around her face as she cried in sadness and anger. Head Honcho chuckled again before nodding once to the doctor.

I turned my head to watch him walk around me, a big ass needle in his hand, with blue liquid inside of a small vile. Fear started showing through as I looked at it, saying, “Wait a sec, wait. Hold on. Okay! Wait, wait, wait! What is that thing?”

The ‘doctor’ was standing next to me with the needle gun thing as he said, “It will help you talk.” He grabbed my hair and tilted my head to the side.

“Did you even clean that thing?!” I yelled, before screaming at the needle being punctured into my neck, the liquid seeping into my veins.

~~~

After they had done the same thing to Robin, Head Honcho and his pack of bastards left the room, leaving Robin and I by ourselves for a moment. What was weird was that I couldn’t still see Liv, but not hear her in my mind anymore, my brain feeling more fuzzy than ever, almost like I’d smoked a joint.

Robin moved her head against mine a few times, as I just stared at a spot on the wall, seeing Liv every now and again as she paced in front of me. “I’m gonna kill them. I’m gonna fucking kill them.”

“Honestly, I don’t really feel anything,” I said. “Do you?”

“Really, Steven?”

“I mean, I… I feel fine,” Robin replied. “I feel normal.”

“Yeah, I feel-I feel fine,” I agreed, before slurring, “I kinda feel good,” before we both chuckled.

I wish I could say I actually felt Liv’s hands on my cheeks, but in my mind… I did. “Steve. You’re high as a fucking kite. Keep your mouth closed. Don’t say anything.”

“Wanna know a secret?” Robin asked.

“What?” I asked.

“I like it, too! And I’ve been seeing and hearing Liv!”

“Me, too!” I said, laughing.

“I feel good.”

“Morons! They messed up the drug.”

“Oh… my god.”

“They messed it up!”

As Robin leaned her head back, I tilted mine forward. “Morons,” she said.

Robin and I looked at the door as I loudly said, “Morons!”

“Hey, morons!”

“Moron! Mor–” she said at the same time I said, “Hey!”

“Whoa-oh!” I was still smiling and laughing, closing my eyes for a moment.

“Oh, no. There’s definitely something wrong with us.”

Amused, I said, “Somethin’s wrong.”

“Ya’think! Fucking idiots.”

That damn door buzzer sounded again, but I kind of didn’t care because of how good I felt as the Head Honcho and the Doc walked into the room. What did grab my attention was watching Head Honcho walking around Robin and I on her side just for him to stop and stand in front of me.

I turned my head after looking at him for a moment, watching the Doc mess with his bag at the table. Whatever he sets down makes Robin chuckle a little as he grabs a freaking medical bone saw from his bag.

“Would now be a good time to tell you that I don’t like doctors?” Robin asked.

The image of Olivia hastily walking around to Robin flashed in my mind, her hushed voice saying, “Robin, if you don’t shut the fuck up, I’ll send you to the Upside Down for a full-ass week!”

“Let’s try this again, yes?” Head Honcho said.

I licked the inside of my tongue, feeling to see if it was still there as I nodded and murmured out something while nodding my head.

Without missing a beat, he asked, “Who do you work for?”

“Scoops,” I said, looking at a random spot as Robin chuckled, my own joining. “Scoops Ahoy.”

Robin’s giggles were quiet as he asked, “How did you find us?”

I looked up at him, saying without missing a beat, “Totally by accident,” before lightly laughing… again.

He said something in Russian as I looked down for a moment, picking my head back up at the sound of something being open and closed, the Doc making his way back to us. “What is that shiny little toy?”

“Where are you going with that, Doc?” Robin asked.

Even in my high as a kite state, fear jumped through my body as he brought the clipper looking things to my fingers, grabbing onto my fingernail. “Whoa, whoa, hey, hey. Wait! No! Wait! Wait!”

“There was a code! There was a code! We heard a code!” Robin shouted as I jumped and tried to get away from the Doc.

“Code,” Honcho said, walking around to Robin. “What code?”

“The week is long. The silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west. Blah, blah, blah. You broadcast that stupid spy shit all over town, and we picked it up on our Cerebro, and we cracked it in a day. A day! You think you’re so smart, but a couple of kids who scoop ice cream for a living cracked your code in a day, and now, people know you’re here.”

“Who knows we’re here, suchka?”

“Uh, well Dustin and Olivia know,” I said, looking off into space.

“Shut. The fuck. Up.”

“Hey, Steve?” Robin said.

“Yeah, Dustin and Olivia, the Henderson’s, they know.”

“Steve!”

“Dustin and Olivia Henderson,” Honcho said, walking around to stand in front of me. “Is this your small, curly-haired friend? As well as your short, curly-haired girlfriend?”

“Oh, curly-haired. Great hair. Small. Kinda like a ‘fro, yeah,” I said. “Where are they?”

“Oh, they’re long gone, you big asshole.” Little did I know. “And they’re probably calling Hopper, and Hopper’s calling the US Calvary. They’re gonna come in here, commando-style, guns a-blazin’, and kick your sorry asses back to Russia. You’re gonna be two pieces of toast.” With the drugs in my system, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah,” I said, matter-of-factly, before Robin and I laughed, Honcho joining in.

It all stopped at the sound of an alarm going off, all of our heads turning to the door. At the sound of Russian’s yelling, I turned back to Honcho and shrugged my shoulders, as if I were telling him told ya so.

Honcho left the room, telling the Doc to stay put… I guess. I don’t know. I don’t speak Russian. A couple of minutes went by before the door slammed opened, Dustin charging through with a zapping device, putting it against the Doc’s chest.

Olivia and Erica walked in after him, my eyes following all of them before landing on Liv’s, seeing her stand between Dustin and Erica, her eyes on the doc that fell to the ground. She turned to face me, seeing my eye bruised and swollen.

“Hey! Henderson!” I said, excitedly. “That’s… crazy, I was just talking about you.”

Sighing, Liv undid the bonds that were around my arms, hands and legs before putting her hand on my cheek. “What happened to you?”

“Oh, my god,” Robin said.

“Get ready to run!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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A/N 2: hi, friends! pls be kind and reblog! it really helps us content creators out <3

Additional Note: not doing normal tags at the bottom since this is just a bonus scene.

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Posted on April 4, 2024

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