#revisiting my youth in a good way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wavesoutbeingtossed · 10 days

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The thing about her musings on her youth in this album is not just about the spending her “prime” years with someone who ultimately couldn’t give her what she thought they both wanted (family, but also in general sense the happiness you get when you’re young and your whole lives are ahead of you).

There’s SO much about her youth in general here, and how the demons of the past have raised and broken her. How each of these experiences have chipped away at her youth. This whole album is give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.

It’s all the things she’s talking about had are part of the same big trauma of the loss of that youth and innocence. It’s snakegate and how Kim K and her lackeys deliberately set out to destroy Taylor’s reputation for sport, which ripped out Taylor’s last few grasps of that young adulthood freedom without her consent. It’s mulling the price she’s paid for spending her entire youth in the spotlight and becoming a commodity instead of a person. It’s looking at a friend’s child and wishing she could protect them from the world the way she wishes she could have been had she known. It’s putting your trust in your first love who ripped the rug out from under you and your faith along with it. It’s spending your time pining for your younger days in the haze of unspeakable loss. It’s carving off parts of yourself as you grow up to make yourself palatable to your peers and your partners and as a result not knowing what parts of you are left. It’s revisiting a love from your past when you still had it all, and after the initial frenzy realizing its hollow. And yes, it’s pouring your heart and soul into a relationship you think is forever and with each passing year the light in the window flickering dimmer and dimmer, only to realize the light wasn’t coming from your home after all, and you may lose your chance to find it again before it’s too late and the dreams you so desperately cling to vanish for good.

And that’s what the end message I think ends up being in So High School: she’s reclaiming the land as it were. All these things that were taken from her and that she gave up are up for a redo. And it’s not rewriting the past, it’s coming to the realization that all those parts are still within her but so is the good. That the freedom she gave up when she released her first album is still found in the backseat of a boy’s car all these years later. That she’s older and wiser and battleworn but that doesn’t mean she can’t find that joy and lightness. “I feel so high school when I look at you” is kind of a loaded statement from someone who didn’t really get to go to high school (both actually and metaphorically). “Bittersweet sixteen suddenly” (love that wordplay btw) because again— she’s been through so much that the feelings of new love that make her giddy like a girl are tinged because she’s been here before and also never been here before because she was never that kid.

(There’s also a whole tangent there comparing Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince to So High School and how fraught the first is vs the lightness of this one.)

That’s why this isn’t just a breakup album. It’s why she dredges up 2016 and Jake and Aaron’s son and childhood and high school and any other number of things. Because she has spent her entire youth and adulthood grappling with the issues that came to roost in TTPD, and while this whole experience underscores that you can never know what’s going on with someone (least of all Taylor, a stranger to us all), I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that she has stressed how much healthier and whole she is now. That is why this whole album is a bloodletting, but it’s not just about a broken relationship. It’s about a whole belief system that has stolen girlhood from her and she’s determined to piece back together in the aftermath of the autopsy.

#this was supposed to be one paragraph lol oops #the tortured poets department #writing letters addressed to the fire #as usual wcs comes in as one of the cornerstones of her discography

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autistichalsin · 6 months

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There is a very sad, disturbing, but realistic implication in some of Halsin's new post-Drow orgy dialogue.

"The Shadow Curse robbed me of almost all my peers, and replaced them with the weight of responsibility. Perhaps that caused me to gild undeserving memories of my youth."

Halsin not only had trouble with the new responsibilities thrust on him as Archdruid, but also had trouble with making decisions and being responsible for himself (let alone others) in the aftermath of being enslaved. Which is sadly something that is not rare for people escaping situations where their autonomy was stripped from them- prisoners, slaves, abuse victims, etc. He is so crushed by the weight of responsibility, of fighting the Shadow Curse, of not being allowed a single moment to breathe, that he finds himself thinking nostalgically of his time being enslaved, because back then he didn't have to think about anything.

He knows rationally that it was absolutely horrible, that he was afraid for his life, that he missed and wanted his freedom- but in those moments, having to keep fighting, he misses the idea. Because he has just enough distance from it, that he can revisit the memory in his mind and make it safe. He can change how he remembers it, thinking of it nostalgically, thinking of it as somewhere he would be safe from responsibility and also rewriting the parts where he was afraid for his life and being constantly raped and abused by his captors.

Halsin was so stressed as Archdruid that he started thinking fondly of his memories of being a slave, and people still wonder why he wasn't good at leading, and why he jumped at the chance to leave, and why he doesn't want to go back to the Grove in the end.

Honestly, this whole situation is just heartbreaking in every way for Halsin. This is a man who has never once been allowed what he wants. The closest he gets is to "follow nature's impulses."

Is it any wonder he tries to leave without the romanced player in the end, thinking that they would never want to join him? Is it any wonder he thinks having what he truly wants while helping others as he always does is impossible? This is a man who has given so much of himself up, repeatedly, sometimes with consent and often without, that he has NOTHING left for himself. And he doesn't even complain about it, either, he still jumps to give MORE every chance he gets.

Is it any WONDER Halsin does literally anything he does in the entire game?

#halsin #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic · 2 months

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Good Omens Fic Rec: in your own time

Aziraphale and Crowley grew up together as next-door neighbours on Hogback Lane, classmates at the local Catholic school, and inseparable best friends. By the age of eighteen, both were hopelessly in love with the other, despite the knowledge that they were doomed to live apart, as Crowley aimed to pursue university study in London and Aziraphale committed himself to remaining in Tadfield, dedicating his life to the Church. After almost twenty years spent away from his hometown, renowned botanist Crowley decides to come and visit Tadfield again at a moment's notice; the purpose of his visit is to speak at a Careers Day for the school he and Aziraphale, now a beloved priest and a frequent helper at the school, attended. The twenty-four hours that follow will change both of their lives for ever.

Length: 33,632 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: Mostly Safe in Public, After Dark, Human AU

Triggers: None

Read it here, fic by ineffabildaddy

*Minor Spoilers* I'm proud to say that I was the third hit count on this one and I had no idea it was being posted. This is a STUNNING priest AU, and this is going to be a long rec post.

Crowley and Aziraphale are estranged childhood friends here. Aziraphale was put on track to become a priest, and could not walk away. Crowley had to leave and find his own path. Personally, I love that plotline because it gives me a connection to their 6,000 years of friendship that I like to see revisited in Human AUs. We only get brief flashbacks to their youth, but it is enough to know how much they loved each other then. They go through life content, but incomplete. Each aware that their soulmate is out there, but reconnection feels impossible. That magic is not gone yet, and an unexpected reunion was just the spark they needed.

Crowley's portrayal here is especially soft and tender. His blend of anxiety and genuine confidence is as charming as ever, but it's his understanding and acceptance that truly shine. He never blames Aziraphale for the way things have unfolded. There's no punishment for the past from him, only unwavering support and love. He's so loving and safe, praising and doting on Aziraphale with pet names. I know Aziraphale is going to be cared for now.

Aziraphale's relationship to God and the Church was such a gorgeous journey. He was put on this Earth to do good and provide comfort to his community. Just like the canon though he'll need to separate out the Institution (Heaven/The Church) from God. His moral compass is so strong, "heavy, gilded, reliable". He just needed to learn to trust that voice. And not the voice of those who have forced him to conform to their will. The narrative never villainizes Aziraphale for staying with the church. He just needed some separation and someone to catch him. To be shown that love is holy. The church is not God, he will not be destroyed for acting on his love. I won't quote the whole thing but on Crowley's side, there is a stunning description of what he finds holy and worth of worship. That I am going to reread 1 million times. This story speaks to the late bloomers, the closeted, and the repressed—the queers who have hidden and suppressed their desires to conform to please others. It's for those whose lives seem to have slipped by, filled with missed opportunities and immobilizing fear. It holds us close and tells us, "It's never too late, my love." I often get stuck on "lost time", times I've felt I've wasted in my life. So reading, "It's never too late to do whatever it was you were always meant to do, as long as you do it when you're ready. It's never too late to look into the future, to conceive of a world which makes you grin with excitement and banish all dread from your mind." well, it made me emotional okay!!

Oh and it's hot as fuck. So there's also that. Like seriously, it'll creep up on you here. It'll be some gorgeous line about the human condition or whatever, and then the filthiest most delicious line imaginable! It was like an electric shock to me. The confessional scene had me weak in the knees!!!! I can't say enough times I love this story. The first several chapters are safe in public, but you will hit a point that it is not! Proceed at your own pleasure

Read it here, fic by ineffabildaddy

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #good omens fanfic #fanfic rec #aziracrow #good omens fic rec #aziraphale x crowley #in your own time #ineffabildaddy #mostly safe in public #after dark #human au #religion au #plants au #five flames #faves of the blog #medium

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teopatra · 8 months

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💋✨Pick an aesthetic🎀🔮

What is going on around you?

Have you been having dreams you want to decode? Sensing an energy that you can’t quite put your finger on? Are you feeling a shadiness from people causing you to question their weird intention? Choose one or more or all three of these piles to give you secret messages from my highest self to you X0

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

❤️‍🔥

Pile 1️⃣

❤️‍🔥 everything is a friggin joke to someone and that ish is annoying the helck out of you!

❤️‍🔥 you’re not crazy you’re just right and someone has been making you feel crazy for feeling that way wen n reality you’re 💯 % right for feeling the way you do bc tbh muggs just act STOOPID sometimes.. no a lot of times

❤️‍🔥 it’s one thing to be lighthearted and youthful, but it’s some traits someone had that is turning you offffffff like ew 🤧

❤️‍🔥 the only reason you may feel on edge is because someone is an actual joke and it’s P’d you off bc you’re trying to be nice abt it butttt 😐 you have no issue having a good time or cracking you a jokey joke but let’s bffr shall we??

❤️‍🔥yes you absolutely can bet that so far this pile has been about other people , you wanna know why? Bc for so long you’ve made excuses for others. But didn’t you already heal that aspect of yourself? So then why are you allowing yourself to believe that it’s not them it’s you? And even if it’s both of you, take accountability for yourself by asking how did you even allow this type of energy back into your auric field?

❤️‍🔥there’s a lesson to be learned here with the super full (blue) moon being conjunct Saturn in Pisces, meaning, there is a LESSON to be revisited.

❤️‍🔥 Pisces is notorious for illusions, delusions, and the ✨unknown..✨ BUT Pisces is ALSO known for “the undoing”

❤️‍🔥 do you know what that means? If you don’t, that’s your problem LOL jk no but really if you haven’t heard this before then I’m glad you’ve become enlightened just now. But fr figure out what the “undoing” means to you; it’s so eerie🤩

❤️‍🔥MONEY will be the death of someone or a situation..LITERALLY please remember not only are we in mercury retrograde ♍️ but Mars just moved into it’s detriment ♎️ so people are just saying AND doing ANYTHING .. if you as a light being feel on edge, JUST IMAGINE what’s going on inside the mind of an unhealed mfa.. so crusty, disgust me

❤️‍🔥 MAJORITY of society values material things and money, I mean cmon it makes sense right bc how else are we gonna survive and live comfortably happy lives? Cool, but at the same time, money RULES the mind of those who deem it the highest value compared to those who value love, peace, happiness, unity, and divine consciousness.

❤️‍🔥 I mean who wouldn’t want money or someone to just give them money just bc but the point I’m making is that money in this earthly plane in this 3D dimension has in fact become (one of) the roof of all evils…

❤️‍🔥anyhoo continue to mind your business as you always do and just let what anyone has to say roll off your shoulders; focus on maintaining balance whatever its mentally or physically

❤️‍🔥remember strategy against an opponent always isn’t about strength or blows, but about you yourself. You are the avatar of YOU, the master of elements📿

❤️‍🔥

🌸🌸

2️⃣

🌸you are 2 sides of a coin. On one side you peep everything without trying ; big Virgo and Scorpio energy. Most of the time you don’t consciously consider what you’ve noticed bc you know you’ll hyper fixate on it in the moment so you like to keep n the back of your mind until later to really decide what the heck just happened.

🌸 on the other side you are almost completely oblivious to the shade around you bc you’re a very sweet person and you just enjoy happiness. You have a lot of gratitude which protects you from low vibrational entities. It reminds me of a baby in a movie seeing a scary monster and wanting to pet it.

🌸based on that last example lol there may be blatant disrespect and shade that people are displaying towards you and eventually you’ll peep and try to self deprecate. Please don’t do that, that’s what they want.

🌸that (Blue) super full moon we just had conjunct Saturn wants you to work on your root chakra and heart chakra and to stop blaming yourself when people are mean or cruel. You are perfect there’s nothing wrong with you and if you are being ganged up on that’s bc you’re a strong force to be recockned with.

🌸you bother lame weak weird bishes soooo much, it makes you not want to be around others sometimes especially during this Virgo season bc Virgo is the hermit. And you’re all too familiar with going off the grid for your own peace and self discovery.

🌸you have a lot of self control and have been, will be, and or ARE purging anything that isn’t aligned with where you want to be. You may look at your social media timeline in annoyance or disgust and may just unconsciously take time away from media instance all together bc it’s getting kinda crazy out here.

🌸 I see you trying to spread the word of truth and divine consciousness to others and they’re just not getting it thru their thick skulls. It’s making you feel like your wasting your breath.

🌸 practice breath work and mind to muscle connection whether that’s pranayama breathing, yoga, Tai-Chi, reading, expanding your vocabulary, and picking up a new language. This will balance your brain hormones to gain back total self control and awareness .

🌸 you aren’t too intrigued and impressed with what the current state of the world has to offer nowadays. You’re really rare (as affordable health care lol like big Sean said 🤭)

🌸 you dress really nice and have a style of your OWN. Some people wear what they like and some wear what feels comfortable, you do both but not the way everyone else does. It’s hard for me to explain, but even if you’re wearing some of the most basic pieces of clothing, due to your personality, your sense of humor, your magnetic aura, and that je ne sais quoi you are alluring, magnetic, captivating, and radiant.

🌸 everyone is looking to be liked or accepted bc they’re finding themselves and most don’t like theirselves or are looking for the next person to be like. Be careful bc you attract energy vampires and weak spirits that look to leach off you.

🌸 anyone in a toxic energy especially new people you meet or randoms love bombing you are conduits for past life energies you’ve slain or have overthrown due to survival of the fittest. These entities are possessing these unhealed people to come back for vengeance but honestly as many times as you’ve overthrown those demons they can’t even compete with you; just keep alert you’ll probably laugh it off

🌸🌸

3️⃣

👁️👁️‍🗨️🧿

👁️ this is so funny because you’re always here for a good time not a long and bc of that you are being picked apart. Everyone wants to be weird towards you yet always wants you around bc you’re the main character and you’re the most interesting person in the room. So if you’re not around it isn’t the same, people need you to feel more secure, but in way that’s toxic to you.

👁️‍🗨️you have been actively pushing the boundaries just to see who has your best intentions. You have released fear and anxiety in attempts to fully live in your truth for yourself. Life is too short to live it for people who don’t want to accept you for you who are but instead try to fit you inside a box of their own standards. Continue to push the envelope of others standards even if it may start something bc that’s what happens wen you stand up for yourself against weak minded i individuals.

🧿 say “I live for my destiny. I release fear of judgement. I am focused on my highest good. I release attachment to whatever is causing me to second guess myself. I know what is best for me.”

👁️in the dreamworld you’ve been having those funny dreams again where you see people you haven’t spoken to or seen and probably have forgotten about. You’ve aligned somehow but the astral plane is a reflection of reality. The impression you leave is everlasting to where you’re reminisced about believe it or not. This is a way for people to spy on you, but a lot of people wear masks and wouldn’t openly tell you how great you are, how you inspire them, or how they truly felt in injustices of injustices against you due to their insecurities.

👁️‍🗨️protect yourself from the suns rays and mosquitoes, you are being spiritually attacked, anything will be used to weaken your defenses. Pay attention to esoteric and spiritual symbolism like random bugs n your house or flies and dead insects. One time I woke up and looked on my front porch there was a squirrel carcass. Protect your front door frame with salt.

🧿 everything you do is being criticized and although you may not care , it’s like an animal stalking it’s prey n the night, don’t find yourself slipping stay on your P’s and your Q’s. If you get into moods that aren’t normal like randomly feeling lethargic, sad, lonely, etc know this is how you’re being attacked and use selenite and quartz crystals, salts and salt baths to clear your energy.

👁️those who’ve done wrong by you will be receiving karma if they haven’t already bc these people’s hearts are not impure but their challenge was to choose the better path and instead they chose to rest in their lower desires aka demons

👁️‍🗨️you will be slaying alot of demons esp n the dream state and the funny thing is when you think of demon slayers like the anime or shows like supernatural, it won’t be from a dark shadow point of view. It’ll depict everyday life as in a conversation, or dealing with weirdo enemy who want to see you insecure vulnerable and broken

🧿someone was mean to you on purpose, probably bc their jealous. Half of them can’t help it, but at the same time we all have free will. You should check pile 2 bc I made a reference about a 2 sided coin. You have a strategy that others have failed to realize in the past. If everyone was playing a game for the sake of it, you have a game plan and now it’s like wen SpongeBob and Patrick wanted to look at Mr. krabs map. Bc you see the beauty in most things you wield a special power bc you are self led. Your ego doesn’t define you bc you control that bih. You use it to your advantage and no wen to play at the right time and wen to withdrawal. Whatever code they think they’re gonna steal from you it’s too late bc 1. They just can’t perform it properly but atp it’s game over.

👁️ beware of monitoring spirits like flies and gnats. Take note of what animals you come across in nature or constantly see in general, research the meaning of that spirit totem.

👁️👁️‍🗨️🧿

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chuckle-lore · 2 months

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Episode 2- February 6 2021- Holy shit we got lore

Lore-

To make things clear: whenever I mention someone in the lore section, I am strictly referring to their CS! character. (Also, sorry for being inconstant with time stamps but I was watching with my mom and I didn’t want to annoy her by rewinding every two minutes)

4:31 Schlatt says that Ted tried to snipe him for being absent

Ted both ogles Charlie and talks shit about his appearance (specifically his nose)

Charlie mentions how he can easily throw Ted off a roof and catch him before he falls on the ground and this is considered one rep. This implies that Charlie is much faster than the average human and is stronger than one as well even if it’s slightly.

20:10ish we get to know about “Two-Faced Teddy” which is the nickname Schlatt and Charlie use for Ted

Charlie mentions that Ted cries black tears which are later to be confirmed to be tar

Ted admits he is a demon and talks to voices in his head. He tells one of said voices that he refuses to kill Charlie and Schlatt. Wether these are voices in his head or of a higher power is unclear but they do seem to have at least some influence over Ted.

“There’s a lot of gray in the black and white” this quote from Schlatt that 1) goes hard and 2)implies his morally dubious nature

Schlatt gives rabies to animals and shoots them. The ability to give rabies is called the “rabies radar”

These three are messy bitches that ruin each other’s merch/photos for the drama

33:20 Schlatt “went back” and changed the three’s contracts so he can have 50% of the profits. I am interpreting this to be either the works of time travel or reality bending, but with the phrasing of “went back” I am personally leaning towards time travel.

The current profit split is Schlatt 50%, Charlie 30%, and Ted 20%, neither Ted or Charlie seem satisfied with this cut

Some time in the Charlie’s youth, he almost was dragged into a foam pit to drown by Ted, Charlie ends up escaping just to find out Ted was now his coach. The only ways I can think of this working is if Ted has the ability to either teleport, extreme speed, some type of time manipulation, reality bending or a mix of multiple options. Either way Ted is op.

Originally the bottom of foam pits were portals that take you to the end in Minecraft but this was quickly changed to be diseased ridden areas that creatures and Ted lurked in

To summarize the lore: Ted is a demon, Schlatt and Charlie are have some type of abilities and are possibly not human, and all three of them are petty

Thoughts: This episode was just so much fun, everyone was goofing around and I’m surprised that I never revisited this episode before starting this project but I had such a good time. If I had to recommend an episode to a new watcher, it would be this one 9/10 go watch it if you haven’t.

Things I noted:

I love seeing the fanart in the beginning and I wish they bring it back

There’s a frame that made it look like Schlatt was giving birth and I did NOT needed to see that (this docked a point from my score

The lighting in Ted’s room improved

My attention was distributed more evenly in here compared to the first episode where it felt like Charlie and Schlatt took up most of it

We see that one picture of roided up Charlie which I think is pretty iconic and am conflicted about it being considered lore. They all confirm that’s what Charlie looks like but the photo originated from twitter which violates the first requirement to becoming lore (content must’ve originated from chuckle sandwich) I am debating with myself whether or not I can consider this the official cs!Charlie designed.

(Original notes and roided Charlie under the cut)

#ep. 2 #chuckle lore #chuckle sandwich #chuckle sammy #ted nivison #schlatt #jschlatt #charlie slimecicle #slimecicle #Youtube

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ad-hawkeye · 2 months

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wanted to know if you ever got to read artem’s pool/8 ball card i thought the event story was cute but i was a wee bit curious on your thoughts on the card

I JUST FINISHED IT!!!!!!!!! AS WE SPEAK!!! i have a whole list of my thoughts HAHA SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING IN ADVANCE

"artem had to join a pool club for work" is one of the better excuses to give him a new hobby, ill begrudgingly give them that

im glad artem still has the alcohol tolerance of a squirrel. do NOT let this man go off by himself he will accidentally take a sip of alcohol and then need a time out in the corner.

"is it that obvious?" yes, artem.

mc making sure artem eats a fucking meal is rly cute LMFAO

mc ordering artem a non-alcoholic drink is also sweet. i remember i wrote a fic (all the way back in like 2021 after reading atmospherics) where i wrote abt artem going out of his way to drink mocktails after all of that. genuinely really happy to see that's canon.

i've noticed newer ssrs are just. shorter? first year ssrs tended to be like, over an hour long when put on auto. but newer ones are only 40 mins on auto. laaaame. but then again with the overall writing quality, maybe they're just putting us out of our misery.

ah yes. artem getting surprised by mc kissing his cheek in public. what a sly sex chad. did they get the only good artem writer left at hoyoverse on this card or something

artem being exhausted from socializing is a mood. girl same.

the way these two talk about alcohol sends me. dear god artem we can let you have a sip oh god. OH JESUS CHRIST ARTEM NO --

this story is cute enough to make me sad. godddd. it's really nice to see artem more casual and open, esp since this story is more in character.

THE IRISH GOODBYE?? ARTEM LMFAO.

mutuals meet me in the secret passage of the pool place

sneaking out by running is giving the same energy as his revisiting youth ssr where they decided to sneak to the school's roof and hide from the security guards lmfao. ah. the nostalgia.

AND this ssr acknowledges artem's love of movies?? YES

STOP KISSING IN THE STORAGE ROOM GUYS THE CINEMA STAFF IS GOING TO FIND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! DEAR GOD

"this should be filmed in slow motion" LMFAO

JUMPSCARE. JUMPSACRE. NEW ARTEM EXPRESSION. JUMPSCARE. HOLY FUCK

i sincerely think a full on artem smile is all i ever wanted back in the day i cant believe i fucking got it in the POOL CARD OF ALL CARDS

"was something set up incorrectly?" "[artem pout] probably."

mc taking a pic of his stupid distracted expression is amazing and him getting blushy about it is even funnier

"was it too sour?" "yeah...."

thank god pathetic artem is back

nevermind he is licking her arm like a dog. tot's fascination with licking will never fail to amuse me. this is like when my dog licks my leg in the middle of the night

if one sip of alcohol fucks him up this bad i'd hate to see what happens when he's a few shots in. mr wing breaking it down sloppy style on the floor (not clickbait)

STOP LICKING EACH OTHER YOU FREAKS

i think artem should trip a few more times it's funny

this is the closest we've gotten to artem fessing up about atmospherics i can fucking taste it

NOOOO THEY FUMBLED IT. NO ATMOSPHERICS MENTION. ENDING IT ALL. GOD DAMN IT

i can forgive this bc the running joke of them missing scenes in a movie is back

all in all as far as post second anniversary cards go, this one wasn't bad at all and had a lot of cute moments. a few weird ones (which is to be expected at this point ig), but mostly cute!! it made me miss my fav artem cards but in a good way. siiigh ;_;;;

#tears of themis #artem wing #tot spoilers #asks #anon

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yonpote · 5 months

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i really want to write a full analysis comparing dnp to that one stupid lil gay furry indie rock album with the dogs on the cover but that requires way more research than i thought... so for now here is a lyrical analysis of "Twin Fantasy (Those Boys)", the final song off the album Twin Fantasy (Face to Face) by Car Seat Headrest, and comparison to dnp wrt to their careers and lives.

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the original context of this album and this chorus is that the narrator is reflecting on a tumultuous past relationship, at first viewing this romance through rose-tinted glasses (the dark, inside, fantasy) before finally being able to see the truth (the sun, outside, reality.) the pain of looking at the sun is the pain of revisiting the narrator's past. often times we use pain as an indicator that we are experiencing reality (pinching yourself to make sure you're not dreaming.)

these lines repeat throughout the song, yknow like a chorus...

the past few years of dnp's careers and lives have been very much on the reflective and introspective side. for them, the "fantasy" is the explosion of their careers, their success as creators, the audience who has stuck with them. of course all of this is true, but at the same time, the reality is that during the absolute height of their careers, they were in the closet, had repressed mental health issues, had overworked themselves, and had their boundaries frequently overstepped. and they have been reflecting on both sides of this coin.

the story and memories the narrator has retold will never disappear. the fond memories of the relationship will always be there, both figuratively and literally as they have been recorded in song form.

this is true for dnp as well. the memories that they share, both with each other and with the audience, won't go away. we will always have pinof 1. we will always have videos of them being silly and goofing off and just having fun with each other. and even when they have deleted stuff in the past, they are no longer trying to take any of it down and even reference deleted videos and old posts as they no longer have anything to hide in showing them.

dude im not even gonna analyze these lyrics i just wanted to add them here cuz like just fuckin read them what the hell is this gay shit this is so dnp (and also its the same concepts as seen above)

edit: i lied i am going to expand my thoughts on these lyrics

dnp have basically built their careers on having fun. they've taken jobs and sponsorships they didnt want necessarily, they were workaholic closet cases, but like. they always made sure to have a good time. you can especially see this in the very early videos as well as on the gaming channel, where they felt ever so slightly less pressure to put up a front. they LOVE creating stuff together, they love hanging out with each other, theres absolutely no denying this! theyre not kissing and theyre not fucking i mean who knows lmao but instead of interpretting that literally, its more like. thats not the point, that was never the point. are there shippers amongst us? yes fer sure, but that isnt what pulled us all in. what pulled us in was their connection, their dynamic, and how much fun they have on camera together!!!!!!! these two brothers lovers boys and their smooth-cocked youthful adventures!

the cover of twin fantasy is a very simple drawing of two anthropomorphic dogs in an embrace, their arms seeming to be conjoined, and the eye of one dog overlapping with the similarly drawn nose of the other dog.

dan and phil. are so symbiotic. how much of this do i have to explain... from the very start, from their first meeting. yes there are the superficial similarities (tall gay british emos who like the same media) but anyone can have those similarities. dnp knew immediately that there was a connection that they shared that was different from anyone else's. there was some sort of inescapable pull toward each other, call it fate or soul-bonding or autism, they simply could not keep away from each other even if they wanted to.

alright THIS. OK THISSSSSS.

ok ok so there are two versions of this entire album, and in the rerecording (which is what we're analyzing) some lyrics have been changed. this part is spoken word, and is completely different from the original. in the og (mirror to mirror) version, it seems the narrator is lamenting this awakening into reality, and breaking the fantasy for him is dark and twisted. in this new version, the narrator is no longer talking about himself in third person. he is Actually breaking the fantasy now, literally breaking the fourth wall, and directly addressing the person whom this album was written about. the contract is up, the names have been changed, aka, they no longer have to be tied down by this dark history. in the real world, the songwriter and this ex are still friends (or have become friends again?) and said ex even drew the art for the album that came after this rerecording. this story that the narrator had put out into the world, they no longer allow it to chain down what could happen in the future.

DAN AND PHIL. OK WAIT ACK OK so like circling back to what i was saying earlier about THEIR fantasy and reality, i mentioned how their reality was dark compared to the fantasy that they showed to us on youtube. and now they have shown us that reality. BUT AGAIN. they refuse to let that tie them down!!!! yes it took a few years of recuperation but they are creating stuff together again! AND AGAIN! the version of them that can exist outside of everything, is in their old videos. we can always go back! they will always be there for us (both dnp and the audience) to revisit. in theory i mean things get deleted but ykwim tho... the contract is up. they are no longer obligated by their management or by publishing or by radio to censor themselves or hide any aspect of themselves. the names have been changed. dan rebranded in 2017, but phil also very subtly and very slowly rebranded in his own way. the gaming channel literally came back from the dead, got a facelift, and yeah itll always be the same ole dnp banting and jesting but from the very first return video the energy is SO MUCH DIFFERENT and i PROMISE it is not just bc they are out as gay although OBV thats a huge part of it but they are just. happier! and more themselves! and its so visible in their faces and body language and tone and EVERYTHINGGGGG.

but listen, remember, these are only lyrics now. theres a version of them that exists outside of everything. and that version is in the old videos. yes they were closeted and overworked and mentally struggling, but they were still happy there too. and they never ever discount how happy those videos have made US. they know how much all of their older content means to us bc it means so much to them too. "you are as important to us as we are to you."

i'll end this with the last line, that repeats over and over before the song finally ends. this line can be interpretted so many ways imo, but i just think it generally ties together my entire thesis. thank you for reading my deranged gay rambling <3

when i come back, you'll still be here.

#mytext #myrambles #phan #i should start a tag for this thing ive been going on abt specifically.#reflections #there :) ill tag all my old posts abt this topic later cuz i do wanna revisit it #dnp

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fostertheory · 5 months

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Why Fosterson?

Recently @beheworthy pointed me to a post in which someone asked why the Thor movies, Thor: Love and Thunder in particular, portray Fosterson as the OTP. Someone else reposted and said they agreed, that the material of the first post enumerates why they themselves didn't ship Fosterson. I'll not respond to it directly, in the spirit of "ship and let ship" (a sentiment the second poster endorsed). But I will make my case here.

Why Thor loves Jane is best articulated in Thor: The Mighty Avenger by Roger Langridge and Chris Samnee:

(https://coffee-for-two.com/2022/07/07/my-misspent-youth-thor-the-mighty-avenger-by-roger-langridge-and-chris-samnee/)

(https://www.comicsprofessor.com/2012/02/for-the-best-in-comics-romance-revisit-thor-the-mighty-avenger.html)

The movies don't do as good a job expressing this, and that's on those writers. But it is there. They hint at it in the first film, starting at 2:33: "Thank you, Jane".

youtube

Then there's "I will return for you" (0:56).

youtube

In Thor: the Dark World, he is shown as continuing to be devoted to her, inquiring after her well-being for two years after he (reluctantly) destroyed the Bifrost. I haven't seen Thor: Love and Thunder, so I can't point to elements that are in that film.

Why Jane loves Thor is also shown in that rooftop scene, at 0:59: "Because you're right". He believes in her, when no one else will. She is a woman in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics). I also work in STEM, and I can tell you that having someone believe in you and your work is not a very common thing. In Thor, we saw earlier in the film how professionally isolated she is, even from her mentor Dr. Selvig. Having someone back her 100% is huge.

There is a relationship book by psychologist Dr. Sue Johnson called Hold Me Tight. The thesis is that couples need secure bonds in one another. Members have ways of calling out for their partners for their support. Feeling that their calls will be answered is very important for that bond. That's what Thor and Jane have.

#fosterson #jane x thor #thor x jane #Youtube

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authormagrant · 11 days

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See you next level

I can't lie, the news about Ice Adolescence is heartbreaking, mostly because of its inevitability. Yuri on Ice was a show I desperately needed at the exact moment I desperately needed it. Even now, when I get into a really bad spiral, listening to the soundtrack helps ease some of that weight. It's also a show that I wrote fanfic for before my writing career really took off, and I loved playing with characters and plots, finding ways to weave together all the threads I loved most from the show.

So, yes, while the news is depressing as hell, I'm going to cling to the good things that came from that flashpoint magical show and celebrate them. That includes revisiting some of my old fics and appreciating the comments and friendships I gained from the fandom when I was writing for it. Without further ado...

FIC LIST (IN ORDER OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITES)

The Last Five Years (Yuri) (6556 words) by AuthorMAGrant Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Otabek Altin/Other(s) Characters: Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin, Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri, Nikolai Plisetsky, Yakov Feltsman, Lilia Baranovskaya Additional Tags: Friends to Lovers, Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Aged-Up Otabek Altin, Best Friends, changes, inevitable otp, Fluff and Angst Series: Part 1 of Five Years Summary: A lot can happen in five years, including falling in love with your best friend.

The Next Five Years (Otabek) (11214 words) by AuthorMAGrant Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky Characters: Otabek Altin, Yuri Plisetsky, Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri Additional Tags: Friends to Lovers, Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Aged-Up Otabek Altin, Best Friends, Happily Ever After, Domestic Fluff, Family Drama, Romantic Fluff, Soulmates Series: Part 2 of Five Years Summary: The sequel to "The Last Five Years (Yuri)." Now that Otabek has found his way back into Yuri's life, he intends to make every moment count.

Amor Vincit Omnia (80396 words) by AuthorMAGrant Chapters: 24/24 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Mila Babicheva/Sara Crispino, Lilia Baranovskaya & Yakov Feltsman Characters: Leo de la Iglesia, Phichit Chulanont, Ji Guang-Hong, Georgi Popovich, Minami Kenjirou, Emil Nekola, Michele Crispino Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Vampire, rated for all the adult content, Vampire Hunters, Russian vampire family, hunter Otabek, Vampire Yuri, enough tagging separate chapters NSFW just assume it's pretty NSWF, pretty angsty, happily ever after guaranteed Series: Part 2 of The Family That Preys Together, Stays Together Summary: Otabek Altin is the Brotherhood's most diligent soldier, expertly hunting and killing the vampiric enemies of humanity, until he faces a bloodthirsty Russian punk named Yuri who kicks his ass … and captures his attention as no one else ever has. The lines between hatred and lust blur, and the deeper Otabek falls into Yuri's world, the more he questions the Brotherhood and its orders. Now, what should have been a simple eradication trip to America has become a fight to determine whether Otabek will remain the obedient soldier of his youth or the warrior who may earn a love he's never deserved.

Happy birthday, Beka (1744 words) by AuthorMAGrant Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Russian vampire family, vampire otayuri, Mates, happy birthday Beka, ridiculous vampire domestic fluff Series: Part 3 of The Family That Preys Together, Stays Together Summary: The Brotherhood is gone. The long stretch of eternity awaits Otabek and Yuri, who can finally enjoy their mated lives. With no enemies to fight, no wars to be won, it's high time they start celebrating the little triumphs of day to day life. And Otabek's birthday is on that list.

Take a Knee (4262 words) by AuthorMAGrant Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Jean-Jacques Leroy/Isabella Yang, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Characters: Otabek Altin, Yuri Plisetsky Additional Tags: Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Aged-Up Otabek Altin, Romantic Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Matchmaker Phichit Chulanont, sfw, rated for language, One Shot Summary: Otabek takes Yuri to JJ's wedding as his plus one, only for his best-laid plans to fall apart before he can convince Yuri that marriage may not be so horrible. Fortunately, Phichit is ever helpful in playing Cupid.

Charade (994 words) by AuthorMAGrant Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Spy, give me all the costume changes, originally zine content Summary: My story featured in The Hero and His Soldier Otayuri AU zine. A little bit of spy fun for Yuri and Otabek.

First Time for Everything (1290 words) by AuthorMAGrant Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky Additional Tags: virgin otabek, experienced Yuri, aged-up Yuri and Otabek, NSFW, First Time Blow Jobs, Random smut, Short One Shot Summary: All it takes is a single, wrong hand placement and Otabek's secret attraction for Yuri is exposed. And, if Yuri has anything to say about it, that won't be the only thing.

From Almaty, With Love (996 words) by AuthorMAGrant Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Alternate Universe - Mr. & Mrs. Smith Fusion, spies spies everywhere, nothing but fluff here Summary: The story I wrote (but didn't use) for The Hero and His Soldier Otayuri AU zine. Basically it's Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but with Yuri and Otabek, and will hopefully tide you over until you can read "Charade" in the actual zine.

Show Me (1076 words) by AuthorMAGrant Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky Characters: Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri, Otabek Altin's Mother Additional Tags: Domestic Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Otabek finally makes a move, Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Aged-Up Otabek Altin Summary: Written for Yuri on Ice Music Week, Day 1: 1960s Song: "Show Me" from 1964's My Fair Lady In which Otabek Altin is sweetly clueless and Yuri decides to make his feelings obvious.

#yuri on ice #yuuri!!! on ice

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chireikiden · 7 months

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Some unsorted (initial, I guess) retrospective thoughts on The Magician Who Loved a Fake.

First of all, Magician revisits a lot of themes and plot elements from Ashiyama’s two older doujins, Imaginative Power of Meiji ✕✕ (Reimu’s youth and struggle with her role) and especially Koushin Night (Marisa’s relationship with her dad, and even the part where she makes medicine for him). The final battle in Magician happening on the night of Koushin is a very blatant callback there. They don’t fit into the same continuity or anything, but I highly recommend reading them after Magician if you hadn’t read them before. They’re good.

===================

I loved (heh) how the meaning of the title kept getting expanded on. Is the “fake” that Marisa loves magic itself? Her dream? Her lifestyle? Herself? Reimu? Her image of Reimu? And whatever it is, will she still love it by the end? In the end, the answer was “yes” to all of those. If you’re gonna told me you took it for granted that Reimu was a candidate for the position of “fake” too, well, good for you I guess. But for me, that dawning realization was one of my favorite moments in reading this series.

Similarly, I enjoyed how at least my own impression of what the plot was “about” shifted over time. Of course, on a surface level, there’s the Magician Incident, but it’s never really sold as a huge deal in and of itself: it’s probably pretty clear from the start that it’s a lead-in to something more important. By Chapter 2, you’re led to think that the main conflict might be about Marisa becoming or threatening to become a youkai magician. “Reimu deals with Marisa becoming a youkai” is one of the most iconic and well-established plots in the Touhou fandom, with a lot of different takes, but possibly a risk of oversaturation as a result - at least as someone who’s translated a lot of them. I can’t help but wonder if that was a conscious reason that it ended up being teased and then subverted here.

Even as the story mainly focuses on them dealing with the Magician Incident, which starts developing new twists, the threat of a more important personal conflict looms in the background where Marisa has pushed it. In Chapter 9, the crisis of Marisa becoming a magician is suddenly and completely replaced by her personal crisis over not being one anymore. Reimu acts seemingly aloof about it at first, but by Chapter 11, Marisa has kind of settled into the new status quo while the story suddenly becomes about Reimu’s crisis over it – more or less the polar opposite of the conflict foreshadowed since Chapter 2, and of the usual trope. I think part of the reason Marisa settles into the village life is that Reimu is still there. When she disappears, Marisa misses Reimu first and foremost, and magic as the proxy that allows her to be with Reimu (as she admits out loud in Chapter 12).

Gensokyo of Humans did something slightly similar, with how the acute problem of Akyuu’s memory loss and impending death - while still serious - gave way to her much deeper misgivings about her lot in life. Although, in GoH’s case these problems were closely intertwined and mostly ran side-by-side rather than replacing one another as a twist, so it’s not the exact same or anything.

Even though Ashiyama’s on Twitter joking “Fooled you! This was a ReiMari manga from the start!” I think you can’t in all honesty call that a last-minute twist or rug pull or anything, as some people have taken it almost in bad faith. While it was arguably up in the air until Ch. 11 or so whether Reimu and Marisa’s relationship would be at the center of the story or not, I think by then it became well-established as the actual point of conflict (though as I explained above, it was there from the start).

In a related manner, from the very first cover page and announcement, the story is presented as an action-packed adventure manga. I don’t know how much of this was just marketing, but by SCoOW standards, it wasn’t wrong: at first, every chapter features at least one major combat scene. Thus the end of Chapter 8 is felt even on a meta level as the action comes to an end with a crunch and disappears from the story entirely. Marisa and Reimu’s grief over the loss of her magic is made a lot more real by the fact that much like Marisa’s life, the manga’s whole genre takes a shift (arguably towards something more normal for Ashiyama). Of course, Magician was never trying to present itself as an exaggeratedly happy-go-lucky shounen that would make this come across as an attempt at shock-value genre deconstruction or anything; but the complete disappearance of action from the manga reflects its disappearance from Marisa’s life in a way that wouldn’t come across if we’d never been shown that action to begin with. Of course, it’s still understandable to be annoyed by that if you preferred the action.

Personally, I absolutely liked the action scenes too, but they were maybe a little detached, and this shift made it easier to become invested in the emotional core of the story. (Of course, it also happened at the same time that the story became more emotional in general, so it’s hard to separate correlation and causation there.) And naturally, the final battle was great, both in its presentation and what it represented for Marisa as a character at that point. The way she’s forced to fight now - yet fights, and wins nonetheless - provides a big contrast for how she fought early in the series, when she was the second most powerful human in Gensokyo.

===================

Speaking of the “final” battle, let’s address what to me feels like something of an elephant in the room: similar to GoH, Magician has kind of a two-climax structure, where the story hits its first peak a bit earlier but then still needs to carry that energy forward to a second peak. Objectively that space between peaks is only like one chapter here, but it ends up feeling a lot longer. I was surprised but glad to see the inquisitor and witch’s story brought back and tied into the current one, but in retrospect, the pacing does suffer because of the page space dedicated to it then and there, when the story should be riding every bit of momentum from the final battle to the emotionally more significant ReiMari reunion.

While giving every bit of benefit of the doubt regarding the realities of working on a monthly manga, the squeezed pacing of the final chapter is the clearest criticism I have for this series. While it maybe says everything it needs to say - much of it being Marisa and Reimu telling each other what they have already told the audience, which is important - emotionally, it doesn’t work as well as it could, and kinda leaves the reader to expand on it in their own head. Having to digest an ending isn’t a bad thing, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true it lacked some oomph.

In GoH’s case, the emotional resolution came first and then had a relatively smooth falling-action slide into the practical resolution. Here it kinda felt like the other way around, and didn’t work out as well. This model/theory I keep talking about might well be flawed and overly based on comparisons to GoH, though.

===================

Marisa’s stay at her father’s includes multiple other characters speaking with authority about how it’s a good thing, basically trying to decide her life for her the way her father used to. However, Byakuren and Kourin are both only projecting their own attitudes onto her and acting sanctimonious about it without really understanding either her background or her present situation. Byakuren of course is an outsider in general, and her armchair psychology and talk of filial piety come across as rather out of touch, but even Kourin, who ought to know Marisa pretty well and in many ways does, has his head too far up his behind to see Marisa’s lifestyle as anything but an imitation of himself, caused by his influence. He takes it upon himself to “fix” it by forcing her back home, and even decides that he must disappear from Marisa’s life entirely or she’ll follow him back to the wrong path again like the child she is. Even above that infantilizing attitude, him deciding to abandon Marisa for good would probably have hurt her more than anything else he’d done, possibly a far worse abandonment than that by her father.

Kourin does throw in valid and I’m sure honest concerns about things like Marisa hurting herself (she was indeed acting irrational and self-destructive - though her literal suicide attempt only came after his and Reimu’s abandonment), but it’s hard to see his other behavior as grounded in anything but personal bias. Whether or not this is intentional and without drawing too strict connections between different doujins, his behavior here and in Imaginative Power of Meiji ✕✕ makes it look like he has a streak of putting Reimu and Marisa in bad situations just to satisfy his own self-righteous moral of the story, even though he’s always been the closest, most trusted adult for both of them.

I’m generally not the type to demand that characters get their “comeuppance”, but man, Byakuren at least admitted (in her mind) that she was manipulating Marisa. Even though I find this Kourin really interesting as a character, I couldn’t help but want some kinda acknowledgment - be it by himself or by someone else - that he was kind of a prick. I wish his and Marisa’s reunion had been shown rather than happen between scenes, at least.

===================

All in all, Ashiyama delivers. I really liked the manga from beginning to end, and can only really say I’m disappointed in the ending’s pacing. The story was emotional, emotionally satisfying, and interesting in ways I didn’t even get into here, like the different magicians who got to show up or the huge damn themes of passionate work for its own sake, feelings of academic inadequacy, and legacy beyond death - something the series had in common with GoH, really. Dunno if I really ever bring it up, but I’m actually a historian, so these themes in Ashiyama’s works really appeal to me. The actual “witch hunt” stuff felt iffy historically speaking, but I liked the way it was used in the story, and also how the magicians of Gensokyo were kind of tied into the outside world - or the Outside World as it is in Touhou, anyway. I kept thinking to myself, yeah, in the Touhouverse, why wouldn’t medieval inquisitors be going more after witches and using witchcraft themselves in order to do so? Especially once it was established that yeah, even though magicians exist in this world, they’re more than capable of avoiding the hunts, and the actual victims were still mostly just regular people.

Ashiyama (and his assistant or maybe assistants, who especially did a lot of the backgrounds) did great work with the visuals, and speaking as a translator, Ashiyama also has some of my very favorite dialogue to work with for some reason.

I dunno. This has been just kind of a ramble.

#magician disc.

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sakebytheriver · 7 months

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Unpopular opinion time:

They should have only brought back Catherine Tate to Dr Who and left Tennant's doctor out of this

I'm sure the story is gonna be like he goes specifically back to her because of this weird repeat regeneration, but that's flimsy at best and easily could have been reworked to make it so that Ncuti Gatwa's doctor has to go to Donna for plot reasons instead, I think revisiting Donna's story is smart, there's a lot that can be done with the unfinished threads they left her with and she's a fan favorite so using her to introduce us to a new companion which turns out to be her daughter is honestly pretty clever and I really like that idea, but I know that the only reason they're doing it is because people really loved the dynamic of Tate and Tennant and are banking on the nostalgia factor along with Tennant's now incredibly famous name bringing in viewers rather than writing a good story to introduce us to the new doctor, Ncuti Gatwa, and his companion and their connection to the show that preceded them. Do Tate and Tennant have a wonderful amount of chemistry together that was definitely my absolute favorite dynamic of the show? Yeah one hundred percent. But if you're gonna try and tell me Ncuti Gatwa and Catherine Tate wouldn't also have an equally unique and electric kind of comedic chemistry together absolutely on par and cleverly purposefully similar to the dynamic of Donna and 10 that makes the veiwer feel a sense of weepy nostalgia without needing Tennant there for one single bit to make it all work then I'm sorry, you are not allowed to speak to me

And honestly, the return of Tennant and Tate has really only served to completely overtake the entire conversation surrounding Dr. Who and in turn the first female doctor, Jodie Whittaker, and the first black and queer doctor, Ncuti Gatwa, are both being overshadowed by two white faves from the less enlightened past of the show and the fandom in a way that just gives me flashbacks to the antiblackness that was the entire Martha Jones companion era, I feel like I'm being transported back in time to my youth watching everyone go gaga for Rose while pretending Martha either didn't exist or worse while I couldn't understand for the life of me what was so special about blondie when Martha was twice the character she was, but then again she was also given arcs and plotlines that were less than half as well written as Rose's so like the audience isn't the only one sharing some blame here

In conclusion I guess my point is that they should have left Tennant to Good Omens and only brought back Catherine Tate, because they didn't bring back Tom Baker when Sarah Jane made a guest appearance during Tennant's era and the only reason they're doing it now is for a cheap cashgrab twist that'll never live up to what might have been if the writers and producers actually decided to put in the actual work of writing a good launching off from Jodie into Ncuti and the return of Catherine Tate's Donna Noble and I shall weep with thoughts of what could have been for two actors who deserved better, Jodie Whittaker and Ncuti Gatwa deserved to have eras and debuts that went down in history, but as of now due to the decline in writing quality over the years the producers and writers have decided that instead of fixing that they will go for the cop out of nostalgia bait instead and the worst part? It's going to work.

#ignore me

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pansyfemme · 26 days

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for the inbox thing: I'm sure you've talked about this but I don't personally know it lol how did you initially get into jfashion and what attracted you to it?

I found out about jfashion through spending a lot of time on youtube as a tween. There was always a twinge of jealousy when it came to it, because i really wanted to do it but it felt unachievable. I was always interested in some form of alternative fashion. I grew up really immersed in the art scene of a small city, and my father was punk in his youth, so i knew well of different ways of dressing and i honestly for a time figured goth or punk was the way to go- tried it briefly, it did not fit at all. During the early pandemic, I chose to revisit the interest. I had recently gotten into making kandi and jewlery, and decided to start putting it all on at once. then, i made my first order for new colorful clothes, and it spiraled from there. What really attracted me to jfashion is the philosophy behind it. Fatphobia, Racism, Transphobia all exists in the community in some circles, but it’s widly and intensely looked down upon by most people, and the common rule is that anyone who wants to can wear jfashion, that anyone who wants to feel cute deserves to feel cute. I grew up convinced i was ugly, and my transition didn’t entirely fix this (though it made it a bit better) and wearing jfashion was the first time in my life i felt beautiful and pretty and like i looked like what i was supposed to look like. I was really amazed by how much of the community is also trans or disabled or fat and how none of that made a difference to anyone, we are united by looking cute! It was hard to go out in public the first few times, but it got easier and easier, and at this point, i’ve replaced majority of my wardrobe with colorful clothes, so i don’t have to take off days. Feeling good about my looks has really helped me a lot, and it’s all thanks to such a wonderful and accepting community focused on cuteness above all else.

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theravenkin · 3 months

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bro pls convince me to read the raven cycle i started it but i got bored and i want to get into it so bad.

so as much as i wanna say, hey this changed my life and it comforts and supports me when i'm having a rough time and it's sometimes all i think about to an unhealthy level and thus you have to read it--as much as i wanna say that, i don't believe that last bit. because here's the thing--not everybody's gonna connect to trc, or to any piece of media, the same way. if you didn't connect with it right away, there's not a great chance you'll end up being as infatuated with it as so many of us are.

however, i do think it could be worth another shot. if you need a reassurance that it's worth getting through the first book or so, here are a couple:

in the following books, you get expanded worldbuilding and new perspectives from different characters (a lot of us liked the first book pretty good but then really fell in love during the second or third book)

the characters get sooo much more blorboable in the following books

i personally think a couple of the biggest turn-offs people have about the first book--mainly, as i've heard, blue's sort of "not like other girls" thing and ronan's personality as seen by the others--are very well developed and remedied in the following books

the found family and Themes go absolutely crazy as the series goes on

there's a spin-off series that is very different, but still really good imo, and revisits fan-favorite characters while introducing some new really awesome characters too

one of my favorite things about the series is the vibes, tbh. as much as the themes and layers and mysteries and theories and metaphors and everything else make me foam at the mouth, it's also just very...youthful, but in a dark and real way. like, this is how it feels to be in high school sometimes--it's not always fun and carefree, sometimes it absolutely sucks and you just wanna fast forward through time, but also parts of it feel like a magical world that nobody else can see, that has been made just for you and your best friends to explore

the magic gets way magickier. like, if there wasn't enough magic for you in the first book, just wait. it gets way magickier.

it also gets much gayer in the second book and exponentially gayer from there on. hold fast

sorry for taking so long to respond to this ask, but i really hope you decide to give the series another try! i think it's worth it. but of course remember, if it's not for you, it's just not for you, and that's totally ok. :)

#the raven cycle #trc #the raven cycle ask #raven talks #asks

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faequeentitania · 1 year

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Okay obviously when Flight of Icarus was announced and confirmed as an Eddie tie-in novel, the fact that it's also the name of an Iron Maiden song (their first USA single, as a matter of fact) pleased me as a great reference to a band that has very swiftly become one of my all-time favorites in the last few months.

But Y'ALL. Then I read the synopsis for the book. Flight of Icarus is a reference reference.

Compare it:

Hawkins, Indiana — for most, it's simply another idyllic, manicured all-American town. But for Eddie Munson it's like living in a perpetual Tomb of Horrors. Luckily, he only has a few more months to survive at Hawkins High. And what is senior year, really, but just killing time between Dungeons & Dragons sessions with the Hellfire Club and gigs with his band?

It's at the worst dive bar in town that Eddie meets Paige, someone who has pulled off a freaking miracle. She escaped Hawkins and built a wickedly cool life for herself working for a record producer out in Los Angeles. Not only is she the definition of a badass — with a killer taste in music — she might be the only person that actually appreciates him as the bard he is instead of the devil incarnate. But the best thing? She's offering a chance for him to make something of himself, and all he needs is to get her a demo tape of Corroded Coffin's best songs.

Just one problem: Recording costs money. Money Eddie doesn't have. But he's willing to do whatever it takes: even if that means relying on his old man, Al Munson. His dad just stumbled back into his life, with another dubious scheme up his sleeve, and yet Eddie knows this is his only option to make enough dough in enough time. It's a risk, but if it pays off he will finally have a one-way ticket out of Hawkins.

Eddie can feel it: 1984 is going to be his year.

To what Bruce Dickinson said in his autobiography about writing Flight of Icarus:

For the lyric, I flipped the story of Icarus on its head and made the father the villain of the piece. Driven by ambition and ego he forces his son to fly, with terrible consequences as his son, in youthful exuberance, flies too high and his wings melt. Basically the pushy parent revisited.

AND look at these lyrics from the song:

His eyes seem so glazed/As he flies on the wings of a dream/Now he knows his father betrayed/Now his wings turn to ashes, to ashes his grave

A young man with youthful exuberance being pushed into doing something for his father, a father whose ego and plotting will burn his son and cause his downfall?? (Because let's face it, we know exactly where Eddie is after 1984, we know that this book will be an exercise in frustration as we watch him fight so hard to get Corroded Coffin to success, only for it to all be for naught. We also know that Al Munson is not in his life come 1986, and we can make a pretty good guess based on how Eddie speaks of him that things absolutely end sour between them.)

ALSO, Eddie already has ties to Flight of Icarus, via the fact that the album on which it features, Piece of Mind, is the one that he holds up as he declares, "THIS! IS! MUSIC!" in the very beginning of S4E8.

And maybe this is just me being a nerd and reading too much into it but??? Come on. Come ON.

#eddie munson #stranger things flight of icarus #stranger things #stranger things novels #books #iron maiden #stranger things meta

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