#relationships. thinking about how tom is messed up bc of his past too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writefightandflightclub · 2 months

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"ride or die is so special to me" ch.6 edition!!!

(Sorry this is so late work was just way busier than normal this past week!!)

Okay so right off the bat, "Santiago watches you go. Feels the violence of you being snatched from his side like a wound" why would you do that to us??? Probably bc it's beautifully written and a perfect start to this chapter but STILL. I felt personally ATTACKED by this opening. Also the callback to ch.3 which says "Santiago is a wound you could never close" 😭 babe you know I am rooting for these two but they keep hurting me AND EACH OTHER.

Is all the boys except Tom showing up foreshadowing Tom's fate in the movie?? 👀 also I like the detail that Benny is the one to follow her while Will is sort of the guard/the wall keeping the two of them apart while Frankie goes with Santi. Without having to talk about it, the squad falls into roles, you can feel their history as a team in the way they moved into, and through, this conflict. Hoping our girl and Benny don't do anything stupid (I can't remember which chapter it is so maybe I hallucinated it or something, but wasn't there a comment at some point about Benny having a soft spot for her or along those lines? I'd like to believe neither of them would be so stupid and short-sighted though).

The IRONY of Santi's fear of hurting her being the exact thing that ends up hurting her? BIG OUCH. Another ginormous ouch was this "Until Santiago feels only jitters through his weak legs. Until he feels a pit open up inside and swallow him. Until he can carry himself no further away from you. Until he realises that no matter how far he walks he cannot run from himself" LIKE THAT LAST LINE IS SO HAUNTINGLY POIGNANT!!!

Now for what might just be my favourite aspect of this chapter: Frankie being an absolute KING. "Don't talk just walk" is something I have to tell myself when I'm upset, and Frankie telling Santi that was so great!! "Don’t patronise her by thinking you know better" THANK YOU THIS IS KING SHIT FRANKIE KEEP IT UP BABY. Kudos to you balancing how messed up their military history and trauma has made each of them from Santi's perspective and how moving on is worth it from Frankie's - it makes the conflict believable and layered and interesting. The way Frankie is uniquely equipped to get through to Santiago and get him to admit what he is afraid of, what underlies all these tensions, was GORGEOUSLY explored.

However that ending??? NOOOO SANTIAGO NOOOOOO YOU LITERALLY JUST WENT THROUGH THIS WITH FRANKIE DO NOT FALL INTO THAT MENTAL TRAP AGAIN!!! I want him to do copious amounts of therapy!!!!

Can't believe how you just come up with all this stuff and write it so well? This chapter really went straight to my heart like this is the kind of shit I want injected directly into my veins it is so good!!!

Special to me anon!!! 😀🧡 Heyyyy!

Ooh thank you for this delicious commentary. And PLEASE never apologise for bestowing such a wonderful gift upon me. I would wait years. 😁

Btw, I hope that work isn’t being too unkind to you. You got this! 🧡

Okay. So. First of all I love it that you noticed that callback, with the wound imagery etc. ☺️🧡

And ooh, well we’ll have to wait and see if Tom’s absence is foreshadowing anything in this tale 👀 … but that’s such a stellar observation! Oh and I’m so pleased the way they all reacted gave hints at how they work as a unit. That it’s well-trodden. I wanted all of the relationships to feel plausible and unique but also that sense of them as a team to be present. The fact they can *mobilise*. I feel they would have roles and patterns without needing to speak about it and I did feel this is how it would go down. Oh my gosh, thank you for remembering that detail about Benny too! I did indeed suggest he has a soft spot for reader, and so I think it’s apt he’s the one to follow 🥹

And the ouches? Oof. I know, I know. Santiago really doesn’t want to hurt her. He honestly would rather suffer himself than do that. And yet… somehow they are BOTH hurting. But, he’s an expert at creating / worsening problems for himself (no shade, he’s got a lot to work through in that pretty head of his and breaking cycles is not easy). I feel like this whole scene with Frankie was so vital actually.

Also. Yes. Frankie = king. 👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑 No notes. 😁 I’m so pleased the conflict there was believable, and that their different perspectives / beliefs came through. I think one reason why it’s so hard for Santi is that when he tugs on the reader thread to try and unravel it, it’s tied on to this big ball of all his other traumas: military, grief, and more, and so it feels far too big. I do feel like Frankie is “uniquely equipped” it get through to him - love that phrasing. Sometimes when people are in it or too close to it they just need someone else to help them shift their angle of view. Even a small nudge. Frankie knows them BOTH so well and loves them, and I feel like even with everything he has going on himself he’s just slightly less jaded. He’s looking ahead to his new baby, wanting to get back on track, you know? Also, importantly, he’s TIRED. Like. Just sort it out, man.

And ahhhh the ending!!!!!!! 😱😱😱😱 I think this goes back to patterns being hard to break. I think it’s clear this one isn’t going to be solved by any one *single* moment or epiphany. That, *if* they can make it work, it’s gonna take some work. Let’s see! 🤭

Once again thank you for indulging me and letting me ramble about this story! I’m so grateful! 🧡🧡🧡

#special to me anon is special to me #ride or die series #santiago pope garcia x reader #Oscar Isaac

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romanticoutcast · 2 years

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Now that you somehow mentioned it I’d love to know how you’d see tom and his personality evolving, like how he would behave 8-10 years later(whether it’s in a canon or non-canon setting)! Bc i have my very own interpretation of late-teen/young adult sawyer and I love to know other opinions abt this kind of stuff— (btw I already read and loved some of your fanfics (those where he isn’t ded lol) so I have an overall idea but i love annoying ppl)

okay okay so...i have a LOT of thoughts about tom’s personal character development both in canon, and what it might lead to in the future.

this is all gonna seem like an unnecessary summary of tom’s character, but it’s all leading up to a point i sWEAR LMAO.

i think conspiracy could serve as a huge catalyst for tom’s character development, among other things. throughout the sequel novels, he continued to worm his way out of situations he deliberately put himself and others into multiple times, mostly by his own cleverness, while always making a big show of it. the more he proves himself in the public eye, the more he wants to do it again and becomes willing to create dangerous problems just to do so. he shows the town time and time again how smart he is, how special he is, how promising his future will be. in conspiracy, tom doesn’t impress the town in court with his detective skills, like he’s done so often before. it’s not another opportunity for him to show off, the way he wanted it to be. instead he makes himself look like a liar when confessing his harebrained schemes, because everyone knows none of it makes any sense at all, and so far tom has been nothing but a beacon of intelligence and common sense in their eyes. he becomes speechless and cries about all the ways his stupid mistakes have made jim suffer, and he’s gone too far this time to fix it. he humiliates himself publicly. just as tom’s rise to glory in st. petersburg was always a public matter (like he tried to make it), so is his downfall.

he got such a big head from all this past “”success”” that he truly believes it’s impossible for him to fail. once he does, he panics, loses all of his self-assurance, and tries to get jim out of the trouble he got him into the fastest, most straightforward way possible. tom, the one who is constantly lording his intelligence over huck’s head and scolding him for being a ��saphead,” desperately tells huck that he wishes he had just listened to him instead of going after glory, that he was an idiot for playing with fire. it’s obvious that the events in conspiracy have taken a huge toll on tom’s arrogance and pride, and one can only hope that he won’t mess up the same way again after this.

warning, this take on tom’s character has a LOT of sawyerberry. another catalyst for tom’s growth could be huck leaving st. petersburg. i think it’s safe to say that although tom loves huck as his best friend, he takes his friendship for granted. huck needs to get out of town, find himself to gain more confidence and make relationships outside of tom so that he’s not so codependent on him. tom needs to realize just how much huck doesn’t need him, how much huck can thrive outside of st. petersburg and without tom. huck has always been a compassionate, generous person, and tom needs to become more appreciative of all the traits he dismissed before.

also, huck influencing tom to think outside of society’s set of rules that he, for the most part, is so stuck in. huck influences tom to adopt more abolitionist sentiments. strictly speaking in a romantic sense, the realization that tom might have feelings for huck causes him to go through the very long, difficult process of struggling to accept what he feels and decide whether he’s going to stay inside his comfort zone, where it is safe, or leave it and everyone inside. him realizing he just might be part of a marginalized group of people, a group of people that a christian town like his would find the feelings he feels, that he didn’t ask for, despicable, could be a huge wake-up call.

basically i feel that through nothing but fate (and huck) humbling tom a LOT could he go down a much better path than if he just continued to make a great name for himself all the time in st. petersburg. always staying within the comfortability of his hometown and having everyone inside of it think so highly of him all the time isn’t a challenge to tom’s worst personal flaws. going against the grain of society alongside huck just might be though.

in the end i just think of a young adult tom as someone who is still too proud at times for his own good, still gets wound up too easily over good literature. but instead he moons over books within the strict safety net of his brain. he’s just as clever and cunning and capable as he has ever been, but through years and years of reflection and the very difficult process of bettering himself, he decides he doesn’t want to go to the country’s greatest law school, or become judge thatcher’s apprentice, or president! he doesn’t feel the need for the same glory he used to!! he just wants to be with huck, and so they live in a humble house on the countryside, where they’re afforded some privacy.

he’s still himself, still a somewhat deeply flawed guy. but he’s trying to be better.

#edit: i added a little more #i know this is a pretty optimistic take on tom's character and i understand if it may seem unrealistic to some #im just too attached to him i have such high hopes #please send another ask to share your own take on young adult tom????? please i would love to hear it????#i welcome all takes even the ones where he just gets worse over the years #tom #asks #also #THOSE WHERE HE ISNT DEAD FHGHFDGH STOPPP

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sapphicmumrik · 2 years

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I hope you don't mind if I choose all three Wachowski brothers for the Send Me A Character thing, I love them all equally

this got lost in all my notes, sorry anon! So let’s do all three Wachowski sibs, starting with Sonic

First impression: is that fucking Dewey Duck in a Sonic costume?

Impression now: I would die for you

Favourite moment: it starts and ends with ‘d’, and also the beach scene in the second movie I thought was a really good display of how much Sonic has grown as both a character and his own person.

Idea for a story: I have several, it’s called Birds of a Feather j/k I have an idea for a Sonic chapter but I need to iron it out a bit before I write it

Unpopular opinion: the memes and flossing can go

Favourite relationship: definitely how father-son he’s gotten with Tom (HEAR ME YOU SICKOS??? THEY’RE A FATHER AND SON YOU IDIOTS), but I also look forward to seeing what he’s like with his new brothers in the Knuckles series if they touch on that in it

Favourite headcanon: Wachowski can and will kill a man which entirely sets him apart from the other Sonics in the continuity. and I’m also a fan of the living chaos emerald theory

Tails

First impression: baby boy. fluffy baby boy

Impression now: baby boy. fluffy baby

Favourite moment: definitely mowing Knuckles down with the cop car is top tier entertainment, also Siberia dance off

Idea for a story: as above. I also have a couple more Tails ideas in the works for future Birds of a Feather chapters. one will be Tails having to leave post it notes on things he’s tampered with.

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think I have any unpopular Tails opinions other than they really should’ve shown a small flashback to his home world. we got one with Knuckles and Sonic, and I think it would’ve driven home his panic attack when the Siberians started calling him and Sonic freaks

Favourite relationship: I look forward to a lot of Tails with his new fam, especially Ozzie and Maddie and his big bros, and maybe Wade

Favourite headcanon: he’s taken over Tom’s shed where Tom found Sonic in the first movie. Tom is never getting it back

Knuckles

First impression: *INCOHERENT SCREAMING* and ‘oh gods I hope they don’t mess him up’

Impression now: I absolutely adore this iteration of Knuckles right down to his Draxxness

Favourite moment: too many but honorable mentions go to ‘oh they are stairs’, ‘YOU DARE MOCK ME IN MY HOUR OF DEFEAT’ and ofc ‘I HAVE JUST BEEN TOLD THEY HAVE SPRINKLES’

Idea for a story: Ohana was basically meant to be him getting used to the family life but since I wrote that when we didn’t know anything about what he’d be like or his role, I’d like to carry some of it over into Birds of a Feather. I also saw someone point out that Knuckles would be more inclined to call Maddie ‘mother’ than Sonic would or that Sonic would rather call Tom ‘dad’ than vice versa. I’d like to explore that.

Unpopular opinion: I honestly don’t think there’s any shipping material between him and Sonic in the movie verse. As much as I was gung ho for it before I do acknowledge that they are brothers in a sense now more so than in past versions. Though I am still gonna write that au at some point.

Favourite relationship: KNUCKLES AND MADDIE KNUCKLES AND MADDIE KNUCKLES AND MADDIEEEE. SHE OUTRIGHT SAID HE WAS HER FAVOURITE AND I SCREAMED BC MAMA’S BOYYYYY

Favourite headcanon: he might have a bed and roof over his head but Knuckles comes and goes as he pleases from the Wachowski home. He’s like a college student that goes away for a semester and then comes back. However he does leave notes, despite nobody being able to read his chicken scratch of Ekidnian.

#fern.ans

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loslotharios · 3 years

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Okay I’m gonna ramble in your ask box lol.

Lots of people who are in Liz’s favor seem to place complete blame on Reddington for her death. What do you think of this? I personally don’t want to blame him completely because, while not coming into her life could’ve prevented all the tragedy and chaos that defined Liz’s life from happening, we also wouldn’t have a show if he hadn’t come into her life.

The people on Team Liz say that Red asking her to kill him is incredibly selfish. While I can see the logic in that argument, I don’t think that Red’s intentions were selfish.

What I think is that he basically gaslit himself for three decades. He said as much in his monologue to Dembe. But I do think it’s fucked up, nonetheless. Asking your pseudo-daughter to kill you and your pseudo-son to help is not right, even if you ARE dying.

(Why didn’t Dembe and Liz fight against this? Like really fight against it? I would have!)

To be completely honest, the episode really fucked me up. I don’t know what to think. Red is my fave, so how could I blame him? On the other hand, the Liz fans also have a very good point. Aaaaaaagh!

This show, man. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Never in my life has a TV show fucked me up so badly.

You know what’s REALLY hilarious? I actually have a WIP where both Liz and Tom have died at the hands of Ian Garvey and Red swoops in to raise Agnes himself. Never did I think that Agnes would actually become an orphan in canon.

Speaking of which, that poor girl. Agnes is gonna have to go to therapy when she’s older, mark my words. Red would pay for the therapy himself.

Omgggg I will take any opportunity to rant about the blacklist! Thaaaaanks

I think Red is definitely to blame for setting it all in motion by reintroducing himself into her life.

But also at some point we have to acknowledge that she played a big part in her own death. She continously ignored Red's warnings and was told time and time again how dangerous it was to look into her past. Yet she did it anyways. She started opening all these doors that put her (and all the people she loved) in danger.

In my opinion the characters are BOTH extremely selfish and stubborn. Which is a bad combo for one character to have let alone the 2 main characters lmao. Makes for a good show tho.

*****

I can totally see how people view Red's proposition as selfish. I get it.

But I also understand why he did it. Like you said Red is 100% a spy first, person second. AND THIS IS SOMETHING IVE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT FOR SO LONG. I HAVE EXAMPLES.

He views life as one big mission. He has fully committed himself to that mindset of "the mission comes first". When Madeleine Pratt gave information up to spare Red from being tortured. He said during his talk with Cooper after something along the lines of "in a moment of weakness, she gave me the coordinates." Most normal people wouldn't see concern for another person's well-being as weakness. But he does!!!

Same with that conversation he has with Tom when they're being hunted by Ian Garvey. He calls Tom unreliable. Tom says "I fell in love" and he responds "that's no excuse".

Reddington was fine with asking Liz to kill him and asking Dembe to help bc if he was in either of their shoes HE WOULD HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT!!!

Its fucked up but like.... he's a fucked up guy. I don't know if redarina is true or not, but either way its obvious that his past is full of darkness and tragedy.

And to an extent (this is me going off script btw bc maybe I'm just feeding into my own headcannons) I think Dembe was more willing to go through with the plan because he's been in Red's world longer. He's bound to be at least a little fucked up and mission oriented because of how much time he's spent around Red ever since he was an impressionable youth.

As much as Dembe has influenced Reddington's life by helping him see the good in the world, it works the other way around too. Sorry but I could talk about Red and Dembe's relationship ALL DAY LONG BRO.

This show has me really messed up and honestly I'm still obsessed with it. I cant wait for s9!!

PLEASE YOUR FIC 💀💀💀 Atleast you might have some actual material to inspire you next season lmao. Cant wait to read it, if you post it!!

ALSO DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON AGNES THAT POOR CHILD I WILL CRY. DONT TEST ME. SHE'S GOING TO BE MESSED UP FOR LIFE.

#thanks for the ask this was so much fun #please my ask box is open for anyone to dump their blacklist thoughts ANYTIME #also i will be ranting about red and dembe's relationship even more now that the season is over #asks #the blacklist

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spideyspence · 4 years

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cruel summer; tom holland

heya y’all im back after a heckin long break

this is the second instalment to my lover series (do not have to be read in order)

lover masterlist

masterlist

just gonna tag a couple of people bc it has been forever

@plushparker @hollandroos @spiderrrling @kiwispideys @hey-its-grey @yikesdin @princepeteys

‘If I had to date any of the characters in Far From Home, I’d have to date Ned because he’s so respectful to Betty. Every woman wants to be treated with respect and Ned could do that.’ You smiled at the interviewer and then turned your head to the side when you heard Jacob’s laughter.

‘Y/N, I’d date your character too.’ He smiled.

Everyone in the room laughed.

You were surrounded by cameras for an interview you were doing along with the rest of the Spider-Man movie cast. Zendaya, Jacob, Tom and Jake were all seated beside you.

‘Excuse me Y/N, but what about Mysterio?’ Jake chuckled.

‘I don’t know, I don’t think my character would, what’s the word? Ah, appreciate all of Beck’s decisions.’ Your friends all laughed at your choice of word.

However, all of the people surrounding you knew which fictional character you would choose to date, but the two of you had to play it safe.

‘Jake,’ Tom started. ‘What about us? I thought we had something going on?’ Tom said with a pout, pointing between him and his friend.

‘I have nothing to say Tom, nothing.’ Jake laughed as he crossed his legs.

Tom continued pouting in his seat while the rest of you laughed.

‘I’d have to agree with Y/N though, I would happily date Ned because I respect a guy with a good hat and who cares for his friends.’ Zendaya added.

You smiled at her gave a small laugh.

‘Well thank you for joining us guys and remember viewers, go see Spider-Man Far From Home in cinemas now!’ The interviewer signed off.

The cameras turned off and the interviewer thanked you and you all replied and smiled back. Then you all sat up and were all going to go back to your hotels after a long day of press.

You jumped into the big black SUV with Tom by your side and everyone went to their other hotels.

You sat next to the brown-haired boy and linked your fingers with his.

‘You know that I’d only date Peter Parker, right?’ You whispered, your head on his shoulder.

‘Of course, darling. One day we’ll be okay to say it to the world.’ Tom smiled and kissed your head as you two were driven back to the place you were staying.

Tom and you had been dating for a few months now, and you were still in the same ‘honeymoon phase’ as you were when you first started dating. Every touch, every time kiss your stomach still did flips.

The idea of revealing your relationship to the world was scary. You wanted to be ‘lovey-dovey’ with your boyfriend in interviews, hold his hand, but you were nervous.

You didn’t know how the world would take it.

The two of you were private people. You weren’t about to scream to the world that you were together, but you wanted the world to know that you were together.

There’s a difference.

For the first month it was quick kisses and secret rendezvous because you wanted to stay young. You both wanted to feel like teenagers, sneaking around and get high off adrenaline. The two of you knew that the high wasn’t going to last forever.

Then by the second month the two of you were still the same, but it was annoying when the two of you couldn’t go down to the local café, just a couple of streets down from Tom’s place on a Wednesday morning for a cup of coffee. You two would ‘accidentally’ run into one another down the hall with the blue light from the vending machine, but then return to his room with many snacks to eat while watching some stupid romcoms.

It was the simple things you two wanted.

The promo tour for Far From Home was happening during the summer, and as the days past, you just wanted a day off with Tom to sleep and maybe go out for a lunch date. You were also sick of having to meet late at night, outside the hotel, or having to sneak into one another’s hotel rooms to cuddle together.

It was a rare night off, so a small group of you decided to head out and have a couple of drinks.

Tom, Zendaya, Jacob, Jake and you were all in one big SUV heading to the bar just on the outskirts of the city.

You were having a rough day, you were aware of that, and you didn’t really want to go out that night, but you wanted to spend time with Tom. Interviews after interviews meant that there was less time to hang out with one another and the constant activity made you tired along with the early starts.

It was just a couple more weeks of interviews. You could get through this.

You all sat around a table and you had a glass of some alcohol drink in your hand while Tom next to you had a beer in his. Your drink was somewhat fruity but even though you knew you shouldn’t have let alcohol touch your lips that night, you just needed a night off after working.

The five of you laughed at one another’s jokes, funny memories on set while filming and stupid moments during the interviews.

All the memories were funny, but your tiredness mixed with the liquor made it hard to laugh sometimes or you’d cackle at just about everything being said.

About an hour later (along with a couple of drinks), you were gone, and Tom could tell, but so could everyone else at the table.

Tom decided that right now, in the middle of press interviews was not a good time for you to have photos taken of you drunk.

‘I’m gonna take Y/N home now because she seems a little drunk.’ Tom said. There was a light tone of humour in his voice, but he wanted to take you back to the hotel to look after you.

Zendaya, Jake and Jacob all nodded in agreeance.

‘Look after her mate and make sure she’s all good for the Buzzfeed interview tomorrow.’ Jake laughed.

Tom stuck his middle finger up as his reply and you heard a chorus of laughter as you stumbled out of the building.

You both climbed into the car that was waiting outside for you both and sat in silence for a couple of moments while the car went down the busy avenue.

You desperately wanted to lean onto your boyfriend’s shoulder and nap. Even though it was just one other person in the car other than you two, you didn’t know who the uber driver was.

Better safe than sorry.

Your need for sleep, the fruity drink and you missing Tom caused a tear to fall down your cheek, and soon enough you couldn’t stop.

‘Y/N, are you alright?’ Tom asked, worried.

You choked out a reply of ‘I’m fine.’

‘Y/N, what’s wrong?’ Tom questioned again, wanting to know what was wrong with you.

‘I said I’m fine.’ You replied, a little forcefully.

You didn’t want to talk about this when you were in this state. You were too tired, too drunk and you were going to full on sob if you had to talk about it in the back of the car.

Tom put his head out over the middle of the seat for you to hold, and even though you noticed it, you ignored it.

As much as you wanted to feel Tom’s hand, and be in his arms, it would have been too much.

This was like the build-up of everything from the past five months and it hurt, because you hadn’t seen Tom like this. You knew that not spending as much time with him was tough, but you never saw him express it.

Then the wall crashed, and the tears started to flow. You felt Tom move next to you and put his arms around you.

‘Hey love, what’s wrong? You can talk to me baby. What’s up?’ Tom questioned, worried.

You were a blubbering mess and you could feel the effect of the alcohol in your head and the words tumbled out.

‘I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you.’

You felt Tom’s arms tighten around your body and you buried your heart into his chest.

‘Just- goddamnit Tom. For whatever it’s worth, I love you.’ You said.

Ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard.

‘Baby, I love you too. Of course, I do. I know this has been hard but for now, let’s get you upstairs.’ Tom replied.

You hadn’t realised that you had pulled up in front of the hotel and Tom held your hand as you walked in through the front door and directed you to the elevator.

Whether there were any photos released the next morning, neither of you cared in that moment.

You both loved each other and you both knew that keeping your relationship a secret was affecting both of you.

So that night the two of you laid in your hotel room, blankets covering you as you both whispered sweet nothings into one another ears.

Everything will be alright.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland #marvel #marvel imagines #lover #taylor swift #spider-man

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pocketsizedquasar · 4 years

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So, Dave Malloy’s Moby Dick Musical.

Soooo I have a long and weirdly personal relationship with this musical, in the sense that I have been following it and its production super closely for the past several months & interacted with Dave on a very memorable occasion re: potentially problematic elements of the show, and just generally have spent a ridiculous amount of emotional energy worrying about this for the past two months (I’ll get into that more later).

I went to see the dress rehearsal on Sunday, and saw the previews again Friday night. Here’s my thoughts! This will be slightly spoilery, and very long. TLDR at the bottom!

1.) Artistic/technical aspects: needless to say, wonderful. The cast all performed phenomenally, the music was great, the set was beautiful. They were such a delight to watch & you could really tell they were all having a good time and /I/ had such a good time watching them! Both shows I genuinely had fun and enjoyed myself (also shoutout to the lighting and set design, the orchestra, and really everyone involved). The show really excelled here, which really was to be expected — the songs were SO so wonderful. even though I had issues with the way some of the characters were treated, I still absolutely adored watching the actors and the performances, even if the material wasn’t always my favorite. But more on that in a bit. Like, off the top of my head? Starr Busby made me cry in Dusk, Manik and his raw nerdy energy was such a perfect Ishmael, Andrew & Manik were lovely as Queequeg & Ishmael together, Tom’s Ahab floored me, Matt’s voice as Tashtego literally transcended me from this mortal plane... on Sunday I went onstage for the audience participation bit and everyone was just so wonderful and lovely (and like I got to hold hands w some of the cast and I think I can honestly die happy now)... like seriously, shoutout to this whole cast for being perfect human beings (and so sweet to interact with after the shows!)

Anyways.

2.) Race & Moby Dick, in general, and with this musical:

So... I will preface this section with the fact that Moby Dick is already very much a story about race. It’s not always handled well, of course, but Melville deals with race and racism and white supremacy a lot in the novel. So, ANY adaptation of Moby Dick is inherently also going to be about race, and by extension, any adaptation is going to be Relevant to race in modern America. Some adaptations have dealt with it by just whitewashing the characters or otherwise ignoring the racial issues, but ignoring it is still making a powerful statement on it as it is. Cool? Cool.

The way Dave has spoken about the show in interviews & such sounds like he’s wanted to really specifically address & comment on race in modern America. Which, like, okay, cool. A little bit weird since you don’t really have to try to make MD about race, and I question the ability of a white male writer in general to comment on race and racism in the modern US, but I digress.

Around June this year, some friends & I find out about potential plans to change the races of several of the characters — white men being played instead by woc (w/ the exception of ahab), characters of color having races swapped, etc. — sort of similarly to how Great Comet was cast. This raised a few red flags, since MD and GC are Very different source materials and a lot of the characters’ of color’s stories are Inherently About Their Races (re: Pip, Queequeg) & the white characters are Explicitly Racist (re: Stubb, and to a lesser extent the other mates) — changing around characters’ races doesn’t make sense in a story so intrinsically tied to race. A couple of friends go to the preview concert in NYC, where they saw ‘the tambourine’ — a long segment of the show that was then sung by “Pip-Not-Pip” (played by a nonblack actor) and also contained a lot of racist and ableist elements, and just generally...yikes.

Soooo this is where my weird personal story comes in. I won’t get too much into it, but the TLDR of it is, I talked about my concerns w the racial casting a few times here and on twitter; I tried to go meet Dave Malloy in person at the A.R.T.’s open house in October and give him a letter that @starbuck and I wrote with our concerns, and he recognized me as That Person Who Made Those Posts on twitter/tumblr, and I was just overall a very awkward human being.

Anyway.

There Have been improvements made since then, since October, and even since Sunday, so I’m optimistic — most of the changes have been fixing the casting. However, the bulk of tambourine is still there in the show (though it has been changed), & all the mates are still played by WOC, even though they are referred to in the show as white men (I don’t strictly have a problem with this; it’s just an interesting take to have them be ‘metatextually’ white). l’m very glad for the changes that have been made thus far, & I hope he continues to take things like this into consideration. I would have loved it if Dave were a little more transparent about some of the racial issues and their changes (if only for my peace of mind because, truly, the amount of emotional energy I’ve expended worrying about this gd musical is... astounding), but also so that? His audience could know that he’s willing & able to accept critique and make changes? I don’t know; I feel like transparency with issues like this is pretty important.

And then we have... Fedallah.

In the book, fedallah is a very poorly represented Parsi Zoroastrian man — melville really just went ham with the orientalism here. He’s just this badly written mystical exotified mess, and it’s awful.

In the musical, Fedallah’s actor gets a monologue where he talks about his experiences as a Black Muslim man & calls out both Dave & Melville on their respective racism, and just generally goes off about religion & racism. It’s not... terrible? But I’m curious as to a) who it was written BY (the actor? Or Dave? Bc it’s questionable at best if Dave) and who it was written FOR. It felt very self-congratulatory, very “hey look I’m woke for writing this and calling myself out like this, and you’re woke for hearing this.” I as a POC in the audience (specifically an ethnically persian person, so like, literally the group that fedallah is from) felt extremely uncomfortable, (1) with the erasure of Fedallah’s race & religion, (2) with his lumping of all religions together as “bad” and “fucked up” (which like, yikes, yeah you can criticize religion without lumping in indigenous religions, Islam, Judaism, etc with Christianity like that and implying that they’re all on the same level), (3) with the fact that this speech seemed to be taken as a free pass for the audience to just, like. Exonerate themselves of their own racism?? It felt like it was Dave congratulating himself for being “better” than melville (which congrats ?? You’re less racist than a white man from the nineteenth century), it felt like he was trying to Prove Something to a presumed white audience, and in doing so, alienating the audience of color. Like I distinctly remember the feeling of like “this show is not meant for me. I’m not the target audience.” And (4) because the actor did an accent whenever he was actually acting as fedallah and that just really rubbed my persian ass the wrong way.

Anyways.

Idk, I’m still on the fence about the whole thing there. Again, part of my discomfort stems from the ambiguity on who wrote it? And parts of it — calling out Melville’s racism, the actor talking about his own experience — were actually quite good. I just think it needs to be reworked, both from a racial and just a general writing perspective (which I’ll talk about next).

That and cut tambourine. The rest of the Ballad of Pip was fine, even great, without it.

3.) Writing: I’m pretty torn on this one, because there were a lot of things I really really liked, but a lot of things I really didn’t like. A lot of the added dialogue felt a bit clunky and unnatural, for one. I’m really happy with how Tashtego and Daggoo both got more development — their scenes together were great to watch — but it felt like it came at the expense of Queequeg’s character, who felt underdeveloped and like he was played off for laughs, especially in his intro. I ADORED how ishmael was characterized / acted, and I loved how he broke the fourth wall and went in and out of the show like he goes in and out of the narrative of the book, but I feel like his and Queequeg’s relationship (while, again, was acted so so sweetly & honestly made me cry) didn’t get, like, the narrative or emotional treatment it deserved? I felt baited the first time I went to see it, and I felt better the second time, but I still would’ve loved at least some kind of explicit narrative confirmation.

And I’ve talked about this before, but I really do believe that any take that reduces Ahab to just “privilege” is wont to flatten his character — and in this case it did. The performance was phenomenal, like I said, but from a writing standpoint, Ahab doesn’t really get the depth that the book gives him. I figured this would be the case going into this, especially given that he is the only white man on stage and Dave’s apparent take of “white man leading America to its doom,” but still.

So from a character standpoint I wasn’t too happy with how either Ahab or Queequeg were narratively handled (again, they were performed beautifully!)

And then both of the segments I had issues with race-wise (fedallah & the tambourine) also just from a writing perspective felt incredibly out of place and tonally dissonant from the rest of the story, to the point where they jarred me out of the show and even had a negative impact on the parts of the music that I DID like.

I think, ultimately, the show is trying hard to be too many things at once. It’s trying to be a faithful adaptation and a modernized retelling at the same time; it can’t decide which it wants to be and so it fails at both. It feels like at times Dave is trying too hard to prove a point (a point that it’s questionable whether he should even be making at all, as a white writer), and in doing so, loses us on the story. Storytelling should be about posing a question, not proving a thesis.

Anyway...TLDR:

Overall? It was a good show. I had a Lot of fun both times I went. I know the show is still changing a lot in previews, even more than the changes I’ve already seen between Sunday and Friday (apparently they’re adding an entire musical number? holy shit this cast is superhuman); I’m curious to see where it goes and what gets changed before it officially opens. Im much more optimistic about it now than I was.

But I think there’s still some pretty glaring racial issues that sort of drag the rest of it down for me, and from a writing perspective, I don’t believe that it can do the book justice without revisiting some of the characters and the way of approaching the storytelling.

So, yeah.

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ashisbaeee · 5 years

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blurb night! reader finding out Tom cheated on them and the reader feels it’s their fault for not being enough for the movie star

A/N: tysm for sending in this request! as you can see i got a bit carried away, haha. I hope you like this!

1.5k of pure angst

___________________________

Never in a million years would you ever date a movie star. If someone was to tell you that you were to date of the biggest and most famous movie stars that emerged within the past 5 years or so, you’d be in hysterics. You were just a regular person, with a regular job. Never would you have imagine crossing paths with Tom, let alone date the hottest young actor and arguably one of the best actors within the past five years or so. You were on cloud nine. Nothing could bring you down. Or so you thought.

At the beginning, you were beyond skeptical. You couldn’t understand how someone as famous as him would ever give you the time of day. Slowly but surely, he began to break down your walls. The walls surrounding your heart that you built up way too high, blocking off any potential heartbreak. Let’s just say that your last relationship really messed you up; left you scarred and afraid. You needed to protect yourself, to prevent your heart from being broken again. Your ex had cheated on you, he was just bad news. You told Tom the reason as to why you had been single for so long, you told him about your ex. He told you that your ex never deserved someone as amazing as you. He told you that he would do anything and everything, to tell you daily that you are more than enough. He asked you to give him a chance. He was beyond patient. he stayed true to his word, everyday he’d greet you a good morning and good night as well as being there for you. You saw his efforts; hell everyone saw his efforts. There was no denying his feelings for you. When you finally caved in and agreed to date him, he was beyond ecstatic. He jumped what seemed to be like 8 feet in the air before engulfing you in a tight embrace. He promised you that he’d never treat you like how your ex did.

And foolishly, you believed him. What a mistake.

After returning from the bathroom, you met up with him and the guys. They were all so engrossed in their conversation that they didn’t realize your return.

“Did you guys see Krista, wasn’t she looking fit?! Oh man, I hope she’s free so I can talk to her” spoke Harry.

“Like she’d ever talk to you, you div. But yes, she is looking rather nice tonight” replied Tom.

“And why wouldn’t she talk to me? please, I know she won’t be able to resist this” rebutted Harry.

“Trust me mate, you’re not her type.”

“And how do you know what her type is exactly?”

“Because. I just do.” stammered Tom.

Harrison and Sam sensed where this conversation was going. It was not looking good at all.

The unknown becoming way too much, Sam finally spoke. Breaking the awkward silence.

“Tom, and how do you know this exactly? P-please don’t tell me what I think happened. Mate, please tell me I’m wrong” spoke Sam.

They guys were all a bit too tipsy to even notice your presence. Their focus was on the man of the hour, but not for the right reasons.

Haz too couldn’t take it anymore.

“Did you do something with her? T, what did you do? Does Y/N know?”

After hearing your name roll out of Haz’s mouth, Tom had a drastic change of mood. His mood changing to anger and pure annoyance. He walked up to his best mate and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pushing up against the wall.

“Don’t, don’t ever say her name. She is not supposed to know this. This can’t get to her. It would literally kill her. You all have to promise me that this doesn’t get to Y/N. But yes, Krista and I went out for drinks after shooting. We had a little too much to drink. I remember she had kissed me and I kissed her back. I know I shouldn’t have, but I was just missing Y/N, so badly; I know that’s not an excuse but you guys have to believe me. I vaguely remember bringing her back to my hotel. We had made out some more. It could’ve went a bit further but thank God it didn’t. It didn’t because I had heard my phone go off, signaling I had just gotten a text. Y/N, had texted me. And that was when I sobered up and realized what had just happened. What else could’ve happened if my phone didn’t go off. I tore myself away from her and told her to get the hell out. She ignored my pleas and continued on, only stopping when I had raised my voice. Wide eyed, she angrily left. Not before telling me her plans of blackmailing me. She told me to keep Y/N close or else she would tell her what happened. Guys, she can’t find this out. This would literally kill her. She was cheated on before and it messed her up badly. I had waited on her for months, I worked tirelessly to prove to her that if I was given the chance, I would treat her the way she should be treated and patiently waited until she was ready. When she finally agreed to go out with me, I made a promise to her that I would never treat her how her ex had. But I did. I treated her just like her ex. I fucked up, big time.” he spoke, his voice cracking a bit. He was on the verge of tears.

You stood there, mouth agape. You had quickly placed your hand over your mouth to block any sounds from escaping. Your eyes welling up, the tears threatening to fall at any second.

Krista? Who is Krista? And he brought her back to his place? What?! And it could’ve gone further more if it wasn’t for your text to have him sober up?

You knew this all had to be too good to be true. You knew you weren’t good enough for a guy like him. What was Hollywood’s best actor and famous movie star doing with someone like you? You were a regular person working a regular full time job who lived in a rather small town. You didn’t understand the Hollywood life. The glitz and glam was just a bit much for your liking. You did not want your life to be under the limelight. Constantly being scrutinized for your every move. Your worst fears of not being enough came to life. Your heart shattered into a million and one pieces, hurting even more than your previous relationship. Knowing that he knew why you were so guarded and hesitant to be in a relationship with him and promising that he would never do such a thing but then finding out he did break his promise not only angered you but hurt like hell. It was as if your heart was continually being stabbed.

You quickly turned your heel and ran to the nearest exit. You felt your throat closing. Tears were now free falling. Your once perfect makeup now ruined; your mascara smudging right under your eyes, your face blotchy. You ignored the looks of the guests as you ran by them. You exited the theater and made your way into an awaiting cab.

As soon as you got into the cab, you sent a text to him.

Tom: you’re right, you did fuck up. How could I have been so naive and so stupid to believe the lies you fed me? I knew I was never good enough for you and you’ve proven it. Had I not text you that night, who knows what else could’ve happened. I don’t want to know so spare me the details. Just bc you said you missed me doesn’t make this okay, not in the slightest bit. I missed you too, but I didn’t go about town and looked for a guy to kiss or whatever. I waited for you. It’s too late, you’ve already done the damage. You’ve hurt me more than my ex ever did. You broke down my walls from the last relationship, you knew I was guarding my heart, you promised you’d never hurt me; that I’d be safe with you. That was one hell of an act for sure, pretending to care about me. Tell me, how long were you plotting this? Was this some sick joke to you? I don’t want to hear from you ever again. Delete my number. I want nothing to do with you. And don’t beg your brothers or Haz to contact me. Don’t bring them into your mess. You’re now free to do whatever, to do whoever. That’s none of my business. As you had said, Krista is fit, and you’re clearly her type so go get her.

You pressed send and quickly turned on the ‘Do not Disturb’ feature.

You clutched your chest as you slumped in the back seat of the cab as you cried your heart out. The pain becoming way too unbearable.

#tom holland imagine #tom holland angst #tom holland blurb #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader

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azaraspirit · 5 years

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Okay how are we feeling about a haz or Tom fic.. maybe a imperfect sex? Someone walks in or someone doesn’t come... OR?? A looking virginity/first time giving head?? :)

ooooh i relate to this so much bc i have no sexual/romantic experience lmao. i got a little carried away with this sorry? kinda turned into something else...oh well.

***

You and Tom had a few weeks to yourself for he was taking a break from filming. You only been dating a couple of months but you were still familiarizing yourself with him. He was your first real, serious boyfriend so it was always something new to experience with him. You never had luck with dating so you were still in awe that Tom was yours. He knew of your doubts. Your lack of experience and honestly he didn’t date much either but you still felt like he could do better, be with someone else with more experience.

“What’s wrong, love? You been so quiet today.” Tom pecked your forehead with his soft lips as you cuddled on the couch, watching New Girl.

You sighed, meeting his gaze. He frowned slightly. “Just thinking.” you said.

“Thinking of what?”

You blushed, turning away, biting your lower lip. “Just...I don’t know...”

“Y/n...tell me.” Tom shifted slightly to where he was facing you more direct. “You don’t have to keep things from me.”

Your eyes started to sting and you felt so dumb. You weren’t used to such a positive, healthy relationship. Seemed like almost everyone you were in contact with was toxic in someway. But not Tom.

“Just...I doubt myself a lot...keep thinking that you can be with someone else who’s better than me...”

Tom’s eyes turned glassy, giving you that class A puppy dog look that made you melt. “Love, I don’t want anyone else. Just you. C’mere.” He opened his arms and you graciously curled up to his chest, feeling his warmth and soft t-shirt he was wearing.

“I don’t deserve you.” you spoke in a weak voice, snuggling into the crook of his neck.

“Shhh, don’t say that.” He kissed your forehead again.

The rest of the day was pretty much like. Tom was being affection and praising, giving you complements. It softened you in a way you didn’t understand. He knew of your mental health. You had anxiety and other things that clouded your mind, giving you negative thoughts. But since you met Tom, they seemed to lessen and not be as constant. Like they were black, dark stormy clouds in the beginning and now they were a gray, hazy fog.

“How you feeling, darling?” Tom said as you got into bed with him.

The smile you gave him was genuine. You didn’t feel foggy like you did this morning. “Better, thanks to you.”

You crawled into his arms again, accepting his delicate kisses. “I know you’re scared, and so am I. But we can do this together, okay?” Tom smiled.

You smiled, believing every word that left his lips. “Speaking of being scared...I was hoping we could try something tonight?” you asked.

“Like what?” Tom asked, interested.

You blushed. “Um...I know we been together a couple of months and only really kissed...sooo...I was hoping maybe we could take another step forward?”

Tom pulled back, his eyebrows perked up. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” you giggled. “I wanna try.” You kissed his jaw a few times, giggling.

Tom chuckled, making your lips meet in a serene kiss. “Me too. But if you feel uncomfortable for any reason, just say so and we’ll stop okay?”

You nodded and kissed him, feeling the pulsating sensation between your legs. Tom was hot as fuck and you were unable to wait any longer to satisfy your thirst for him. The kissing heated up quicker than you thought. Tom pulled you onto his lap, your lips never breaking apart.

A noise came out of you that surprised you and Tom. You pulled back then laughed, Tom smiling. “What was that?” he laughed.

“A moan I think?” You weren’t really sure.

“Do it again.” Tom grinned.

“Squeeze my ass again then I will.”

Tom’s imperfect brow arched up. He smirked as he gently squeezed your cheeks and as predicted, the same moan left your lips, making you shudder.

“Never seen this side of you, darling. Kinda hot.” Tom admitted.

You looked away, embarrassed. Tom cupped your cheek, meeting your gaze. “Y/n, please, don’t pull away. Please.”

The desperation in his voice made your heart ache. You understood exactly what he was implying and it made you blush even harder. You were so new to this. It terrified you.

“H-have you ever orgasmed before?” he asked in a shaky, unsure tone.

“Ummm...” You bit your lip.

“I take that as a no.” he chuckled. “Don’t be embarrassed, darling, please. I can help you, if you let me. You wanted to try something new, remember?”

“I do. Just...scary.”

“I know...we can take baby steps okay?” His voice was so soft, so sweet, so full of love.

You nodded. “Just tell me what you want me to do.”

“Kiss me.”

Tom smirked and did just that. He held you as if you were glass, kissing you sweetly on your starving lips. You moaned and didn’t care how you sounded. You wanted him and he wanted you. So why fight this? The dark clouds of your mind began to fade. You let your dirty mind wonder, thinking of what you wanted.

“I love you so much, darling.” Tom murmured against your neck, kissing your warm skin.

The words made you smile. He never really said those words to you before, not in this context. You kissed him deeply. “I love you too, Tommy.”

It only grew more heated from there. Slowly, one piece at a time, Tom removed your clothes. He stopped when you were nearly naked, him too. You both paused, realizing at far you both have come.

Together.

“You okay?” Tom grinned, a little sweaty and his hair a mess from your fingers.

“Y-yeah.” Your breath was shaky but more from the exhilaration than panic.

Your gaze met his and his brown eyes were a shade darker than normal. Lust.

You smiled, taking his hand in yours, lacing your fingers, giving him an assuring squeeze. Tom smiled back. He leaned down to kiss you. His lips sent you in a frenzy every time they touched yours.

The dark clouds were non existent now. Instead they blossomed into a beautiful sunrise that you and Tom have created together.

“You feel that?” you asked in awe.

He smiled that dazzling smile you fell for the moment you met him. “Yeah. I feel it too.”

You were in tears, kissing him repeatedly. It felt amazing being on the same level with someone. In the past it felt like you were either far ahead or behind or under someone’s shadow, never letting you truly be yourself.

But not Tom.

He was the sunlight, the rain that you needed to grow. Everything you needed to be your true self.

Tom nuzzled into your soft hair, teasingly pulling on your bra strap. “Would you want me to take this off, my love?”

“Yes, Tommy, please. It’s getting annoying.”

Tom smiled and you sat up so he can remove your bra. Your eyes met one more time, as he waited for permission just in case you changed your mind. You didn’t.

The bra was tossed on the floor, already forgotten. Tom couldn’t help it. He stared. You were just a little bit shy but Tom’s smile assured you it was okay.

“You’re beautiful.” he breathed, gently stroking your cheek.

You blushed even harder and bit your lip. “So Tommy you gonna make me come or what?”

#my fics #Anonymous #spooky-haz

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vivalamusicaltheater · 5 years

Text

Ok so now that I’ve thought a while about svtfoe finale I have some opinions

Things I liked:

Marco taking the wand from moon and Marco and Star walking through the portal hand in hand

The firstborn STILL tried to warn & help Star, even after she DIED. What a good unicorn daughter

Marco trying to use Star’s spells and then just creating some spells on the fly figuring it’d work better

Marco was willing to get STABBED to help Tom

We finally got to see Eclipsa’s butterfly form (and baby Meteora got a butterfly form)!

Baby Meteora learning how to dip down being plot relevant

Moon & Comet moment. Even tho Moon’s character isn’t great rn, I’m glad she got a moment with her mom

That Tomco moment (“ok can we recognize that Marco JUST FLIPPED A HORSE!” “I FLIPPED A HORSE!”). They are such good friends (and would’ve been such a cute ship), I love them. It’s really a shame this show didn’t do the tomstarco route (preferably in my opinion with Star and Tom both dating Marco but not each other, I’m not a huge fan of Tomstar and Star hasn’t proven to be a particularly good girlfriend to Tom, but it could be good either way).

Seeing the past queens again I love their designs (I want to know what Celena’s secrets are...)

Globgor, Eclipsa, and Meteora get to stay a happy family

Actually, surprisingly, I kinda liked Ponyhead in this episode? (A little bit). I liked how she tried to cheer Star up and then went “oh not again” when she thought Star was gonna get back together with Tom which I appreciated bc they’d already been together twice before and it hadn’t worked, and I liked that Ponyhead was aware enough to realize that probably wasn’t a good idea for them to try again

Janna! Her bonding moment with Marco where she actually said they were friends was so cute! And sbsjsvsjshs she dropped her heart rate to 0 for Marco what a legend. Janna Ordania, true ride or die.

More Jackie and her gf Chloe screen time (even if it was a few seconds. It was nice to see anyways)

Meteora and Mariposa get to grow up together after all

Star and Marco get a happy ending (and the show didn’t end with them kissing which was nice)

Oh does deleting the magic mean deleting the neverzone meaning Marco’s not 30 anymore?? I really really hope so that’d make any Marco ship so much less creepy. I’m accepting that as my canon thank you very much

Things I’m not sure how I feel about:

Hekapoo’s...complete neutrality towards her upcoming death? Ig it’s good that she evidently realized she’d done some bad stuff but uh...???

The pudding being able to keep your mind sharp in the magic dimension. On the one hand, I liked that there’s a REASON Glossaryck likes pudding so much and that we finally got an explanation for it, on the other hand I sorta wish that they’d figured that out BEFORE now. Now it kinda seems like the writers just needed something to explain how the Butterflies could stay focused in the magic dimension (but again, if they needed a plot device I’m glad it’s the pudding so...idk)

Ok what was the purpose of Tom riding the evil unicorn. I don’t get it. Don’t hate it or love it, am just confused.

Marco getting stabbed and hiding it from Tom and Star was some Good Angst Sh*t. The fact that that had absolutely no purpose, however, was not. I wish either Marco didn’t get stabbed, or there was actually some consequence to Marco getting stabbed as it was kinda pointless otherwise

The fact that both Star and Marco were willing to leave their families and worlds for the chance to be together. Obviously they care about each other, but they’re willing to give up their lives and families at 15 to be together? :/ (side note those shots of Marco huddled against the magic dimension rock were really pretty)

The portal thing. It didn’t make sense

Mewni and Earth being cleaved together. I mean on the one hand that’s cool, on the other hand that seems like it’s gonna create so many problems & just leaves me with a lot of questions. For example won’t humans just oppress monsters like mewmans did? Can Tom get back to his family? Is the underworld part of the Mewni dimension or is it it’s own? Did all the dimensions get merged into Mewnearth or just Mewni and Earth? How will Earth culture and Mewni culture learn to coexist?

Moon redemption. It seemed too easy, she didn’t really have to work for it! I mean her character was growing on me pre-her-working-with-Mina, but then she was revealed to be working with Mina and she made SOLARIAN WARRIORS I mean come on! I kinda wanted her to be redeemed bc I was unsatisfied with the Mina twist, but the way they did it was kinda :/ I want Star to be able to have a good relationship with her mother, but since Moon Did That and didn’t really face any consequences besides her daughter being mad at her for an episode...

That Solaria & Eclipsa & Meteora moment. I mean it was cute Solaria accepted them but she literally created Solarian warriors and committed monster genocide soooo...that’s definitely not enough to redeem her and it’s not great that she’s portrayed sympathetically

Things I didn’t like:

That they actually went with the “erase all the magic” plot line. Svtfoe is about Star the rebel princess, frequent subverter of expectations, so it was weird to me that they actually destroyed the magic and there wasn’t some twist like the four butterfly queens work together and unlock some super butterfly form or join hands in a circle around the Solarian Warriors and say the Whispering Spell or something else to defeat Mina. I’m surprised Star seeing her supposedly finished tapestry didn’t motivate her to find a different way because she’s Star Butterfly, rebel princess who fights for what’s right and nobody can tell her what she has to do, she finds her own way.

Eddie and River bumbling and telling Mina about the magic sanctuary. I wish River had saved Globgor bc it would really show he can be competent and would also be cute bc dad solidarity

Mina, after being built up as the big bad, was defeated way too easily

Glossaryck, the MHC, (and presumably all of the queens’ spells INCLUDING THE LASER PUPPIES) just. Died. I mean the MHC sucked so oh well about them and glossaryck was kinda the reason this all happened (which btw is very confusing. Why did he give the first queen the wand if he knew all this crap was gonna happen anyways?) so I’m not super sad about him but Star’s spells didn’t deserve that, nor did the other queens’, or the laser puppies!!

The fact that Moon and Star grabbed tha alligators by the eyeballs. I know that this is such a small thing but in the series finale for the main character to still be doing stuff that hurts other characters like that and for it to be treated as a joke...it just sits bad with me. They’ve tried to develop Star, and been mostly successful, but for her to still be doing stuff like this and being a bad girlfriend to Tom and spontaneously deciding that she hates magic and needs to get rid of it no matter what happens to magical creatures and such after she’s supposedly grown so much just seems counterintuitive and bad. Like I swear Star’s my favorite character (bet that’s a surprise with how much I’ve talked about Marco this post) but sometimes it’s so hard to like her it’s annoying

Mina lived. I mean what was the point of that? She’s not gonna learn to not be racist towards monsters and it looked like she got pretty killed by the unicorn in the magic dimension so like. What’s the point of her coming back

All the cruelty towards unicorns. I mean, the firstborn DIED. We saw her SKULL. What the F*CK that’s messed up! And the other unicorns died too, and the dark one also disappeared except for its skull. What was that about?! Were we supposed to just not care bc they’re made of magic? Bc if so that didn’t work

No but seriously it’s so messed up that Star’s unicorn daughter DIED and we saw her SKULL and it’s just treated as a joke what the hell that unnerved me sm

It was very anticlimactic how there weren’t any real challenges to the Butterflies destroying magic. Neither Mina nor the evil unicorn got anywhere close and for the series (not just season but SERIES) finale, you would think there’d be more of a final fight, and more tension/suspense so the final payoff seems more satisfying. Idk I just thought it went way too fast, especially for the actual end of the show. I thought the full time should be used for fighting Mina, not starco development (and I say this as a person who likes starco)

The cheek marks being gone. I know it makes sense with the plot of getting rid of the magic, and because mewmans were originally just humans, but since I didn’t like the magic-being-deleted plot line and because I have some sort of sentimental attachment to the cheek marks apparently, I don’t like that they’re gone

The uncertainty towards Tom/most characters from other dimensions’s fates. Again, I like starco, but even the most die-hard starco shippers probably think that the way characters who weren’t Star or Marco were just written off was unsatisfying, right? In particular, Tom deserves WAAAAAAAY better than he got. And Kelly, is her dimension merged with Mewnearth? Was the vision Ponyhead was describing actually what happened to her?

#ok ok I’m gonna end this now before i think of more stuff this is already too long #might come back if i remember anything else but for now I’m done #basucally even though there were a lot of things i liked it was underwhelming #svtfoe #svtfoe spoilers #personal

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bi-lullaby · 5 years

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No one asked

And I should be studying, but here are some thoughts for season 16 so far:

(SPOILER WARNING, OBVIOUSLY)

1 - Merluca and it’s parts: COUPLES FIGHT STOP PREDICTING THE WORST OK. They’ve been completely adorable so far, but this is what someone said in a interview: “This is the after in happy ever after” (or something to that effect). They’re gonna fight and them they’re gonna make up, I hope. As for their fight: They were both in the right imo. Yes, Meredith is being inconsequent and it must be so frustrating for Deluca to A)Have her continue risking her career and license and freedom when he went to such lengths to help that, B) Be crapped on constantly bc of something your girlfriend did. Yes, Meredith is completely right in fighting the system that is so throughtly broken, and yes, coming to apologize to her mentor and longtime friend was completely the right thing to do. I wanna see merluca wedding and marriage! Maybe (since there are two pregnant people in this season already?) next season will be Mer and Jo? One can dream! For them individually: Poor Mer, she has bitten more than she can chew but she is ready to take on this fight! Imma love to see her as auntie mer! I mis merjolex so much tho, I know she’s been busy and all but they seem to forget she is a important part in their support system. Andrew has been all over the place. I love his confidence, but in the ep where he literally screamed at Bailey over her trying to teach an intern? And called her out bc she was using a different material than Mer? I was a bit off-thrown. But he’s still a great character I enjoy watching. Hope they find the balance between confidence and arrogance for him, and develop him even more!

2 - Amelink: AAAAAA. They’re so amazing and perfect and sweet and I wanna hug them both. Link is everything you could wish for, Amy is adorable as ever. If they lay a finger on either them as a couple, them as individuals, or their baby, imma kick some asses. I don’t think they will tho, Amy is been through SO MUCH already and she deserves a breath.

3 - Bailey: OMG SHE IS PREGNANT AAAAAAAA. I’m so happy! Ben is already a great dad, this will be so fun to watch! Hope they don’t put her through the ringer with a difficult pregnancy or a sick child, she does not deserve this! She already nearly lost her first child while giving birth in a bomb-y hospital while her husband had brain surgery NEXT to the bomb. Enough pregnancy drama for a lifetime. As for her actions: I’ve said before: I’m pissed, yes. She’s acting way too harsh and taking it out on people and more importantly (as I’ve touched on in my female grey’s characters ranking post) she’s out of character. Where is the Bailey that went around the hospital runnning after the attendings and kicking their asses into signing her proposal for a free clinic? And gave them a speech on how they had failed her and she needed something to believe in in medicine? She was one of the first characters to point out how broken the system was, to take direct action to try and fix it. Sure, she likes to try and work within the rules as much as possible, much she is not adverse to breaking a few of them if she thinks it’s necessary (hello deactivated HIV inside a young boy’s body without parental consent! Hello changing the date on a surgery which is also insurance fraud!)! If she thinks it’ll save a life! But also, she’s not completely wrong: Meredith did commit a crime, as good as her intentions were; As her boss, firing her was the only logical decision. She thought her hospital (which she dedicated a good half of her life to) was being attacked by someone she trained into the surgeon she is, ofc she’d be mad as all hell. Quadri was disrespectful, not doing her job well, actively getting in the way of her superior doing her job, screaming at her boss in the middle of the hallway about how she didn’t want to work there - firing her was a tad extreme (specially for a charact who has never, herself, had any qualms ahout mouthing off to her own superiors when she didn’t think something was right) but not completely out of nowhere. I hate hate hate how they’ll probs throw a “oh she was being crazy bc pregnancy hormones!” line after seeing how her actions have been badly perceived by people (like there isn’t enough a stereotype that women can’t have positions of power because hormones make them crazy) instead of “hey this character was put in extremely uncomfortable and tough positiona after extremely uncomfortable and tough positions and came off as harsher than necessary while trying to balance a world-class hospital crisis”. Ugh.

4 - Jackson: Ok so the last few eps have rekindled my love for him and I’m relieved! There’s the good, kind, funny and smart guy I like! I was mad bc of the whole Jaggie drama, but hey, shit happens! If they will be better apart, then I’m happy! (Ok 50% of this is because of what he said to levi! Stanning Meredith Grey + dorky Harry Potter reference? Yes!!!!). I hope this season will be kind on him, that he and Vicky work out well (from what I gathered about it, she has also been through a lot) and that we see more Harriet!

5 - Maggie: Baby girl. I love that they’re consistent that she has a jealous streak but is also a very good person who is always trying her best. Plus, official womb secret bearer is the best title omg! Maybe she should change from cardio to obgyn, lol! Plus, the sisters are everything to me! She instantaneous knew Amy was mad! She stood up for Mer! Aaaaa I love them!!!! Hope this show ends with all three of them happy and loved and badass as always!

6 - Others: Tom has been an.... Interesting piece. I love him, but his antics are almost caricature-esque now and it’s getting on my nerves. He was detestable in exploitating that family’s pain but also, the hospital did need a pr boost or it’d be in even hotter waters! The restraining order on Owen was a tad much bc it got in the way of patient care, but also he did get electrocuted in a very sensitive area by someone who had just gotten together with his ex - I’d be a little suspicious that it was 100% unintentional tbh. He’s power drunk and needs to be turned down a notch. Schmit and Nico and adorkable as always and I loved Nico’s speech about demanding more of himself - That’s one of the biggest traps of low self-steem and Imm glad it’s mentioned. I’ll miss Quadri. Helm being a MeredithGrey stan first and person second is still me lol. I loved how this last ep showed how much of a family they are - all the connections and shared pasts and references to relationships and what not. The “bird” storyline was so cute! Pac North seems so promissing and I’ll cry ugly tears when my baby Alex turns that ish around and shows everyone who’s boss!!!! The whole “the world is broken” theme of the season is my jam! Sadly, irl that handful of people are not gonna turn it around, but I want to see it happen on my screen! The medical system being fixed! As a future doctor (I promissed myself I’d not be the person who brings it up in every opportunity but lol here I am) it’d make me so happy! Against my better judgment, I’m liking Towen! They are trying, they’re really trying! Owen has done nothing wrong so far (besides offering to milk teddy which was just dumb, not malicious) and has been great at stepping down from his job so she could work! And him at Pac North will be great tbh - as much as I didlike him, he is an excellent doctor and strategist and he was a great chief at GS (until the last bit which was just gross negligence). From the promo for next ep: I don’t think they’ll make Webber cheat again. It’d be predictable and cheap and I’d be so mad that we’d have another round of acting like he’s a saint with a tiny issue of being a cheater. What I theorize is: He’ll have lunch with his friend, and either A) She’ll be friendly at the wrong time and Catherine will walk in and then think he’s cheating and it’ll be a mess, or B) Gemma is gonna try to get him back to drinking (Or maybe C) She was telling him to stop being bullheaded and fighting with his wife when life is so short). Cristina reference in the text omg, my heart!

Sorry for the long rant!

#grey’s anatomy #greys anatomy #spoiler alert

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blakegallo · 5 years

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Is this shade about Kevin's love life? Please say yes because I cant believe bitches out here acting like Joaquin gonna show up and save Kevin from Moose.

at this point i’m not ruling joaquin showing up. if clifford had a long lost twin i’m not going to say that joaquin doesn’t have a brother named juan or jose or jeremiah or some other shit that could show up. riverdale loves to pull from soap operas for their plotlines. so far nothing has been too crazy for this show?

my real issue is this retroactive thinking that kevin/joaquin had this really epic love story? that was based on any kind of like… communication?

but i think that my issue is i fundementally view kevin keller differently than the rest of the fandom? kevin is a fucking slut. like. even before the season 2 scene with him cruising in fox forest season 1 established him as a person that enjoys casual sex. and good for him. i’m all for conventionally attractive white boys out here living their best lives on television.

that said, let’s go back to kev + joaquin. the first night they meet kev only approaches joaquin because joaquin is giving him them “you dtf” eyes… like. that’s it. let’s continue with season one, casey isn’t a series regular so he doesn’t have a lot of play. after 1.04 the next big kev + joaquin scene is at jug’s birthday in 1.10, where again they’re seen making out and kev asking about hooking up. in this episode we also see that fp told joaquin to use kev to keep tabs on where tom was with the investigation.

all of that is fine, all of this development is perfectly normal for this kind of murder mystery plot. i don’t take any issue with this storytelling. like it is what it is.

after this though in the next two episodes we see that kev is upset that joaquin was using him. it blows up and kev + the core four use this revelation to get joaquin to tell him what he knows about jason’s death and that eventually leads to joaquin leaving riverdale. so of the twelve episodes of season one that joaquin was around in, their relationship was not a large focus of either of their storylines, the bulk of their time spent together was them kissing and when they weren’t kissing joaquin was using kev. and kev + joaquin were obviously never given the time to develop anything past this, and in the two subsequent seasons when joaquin has made an appearance we never get to see him and kev work through what was obviously an issue for kevin.

i will also take this time to say that joaquin as a character has never been serviced by the plot. this isn’t the first time i’ve talked about any of this, and ever time i have i’ve said that joaquin desantos was ras favorite plot device. he was only ever inserted into the plot when it was convenient to the narrative.

we literally know nothing about jaoquin desantos other than he’s a southside serpent…. correct me if i’m wrong, but like, dude was never a character.

now let’s talk about kev + moose. yes, they started off highly sexual. and you know what if moose flashed his horse dick at me in the winter formal bathroom i would have taken his ass to sweet water river too? the fuck???

again we don’t really know much about moose other than he’s a closeted bisexual football player? so like, you could argue he’s a plot device too, i’m not gonna stop you from doing that.

i’m also not going to say that you shouldn’t be upset that ras decided to fridge midge to make this ship happen. and i’m not going to sit here as someone that loves moose + kevin that that was a good idea or plan. because obviously it wasn’t? like it doesn’t take a genius to see that.

but this thing where people hold midge dying against moose and vilifying him because he’s with kevin now? like stop. midge dying is in no way moose’s fault, and given the fact that the last time midge was in danger he acted like a human shield and took all of the bullets like… maybe let’s stop acting like moose didn’t care about midge and has only ever wanted to fuck kevin? i’m not arguing that moose was faithful bc we know he wasn’t, but i think that the canon evidence of moose caring about her is there. and yeah he might have cared but that doesn’t mean he was a good boyfriend and if midge were still around i would want her to leave him and be with someone that was y’know actually a good boyfriend? but we don’t get to live in that world and so what we have is a dead midge that deserved better, and now that she is dead i think that soem people upset that moose would move on is so wild? the writing on this show is terrible, but that aside it’s not really your place to tell someone how long they should be grieving for the death of their partner?

even if moose were the most faithful and he wasn’t trying to fuck kev or make out with cheryl, it’s not your place to tell someone that they should still be broken up over the death of their girlfriend? i feel like that’s stepping over a line a little and just reeks of entitlement? you don’t have to agree with moose moving on, but to hold the fact that he has moved on against him is wild?

we’ve known that moose and midge were dating literally since the pilot. i’m pretty sure kev name drops midge when he’s talking to veronica that first day at lunch.

and i don’t say any of this to justify moose as a cheater. like. pass.

but moose being a cheater is literally just part of his of character at this point. like he was full on making out with cheryl at jug’s birthday party so excuse me if the cheater is equal opportunity. he’s not surprising anyone?

all of that brings us to where we are currently. where i’m still here for kev + moose because i’ve been with them since the pilot and their journey to getting together has been a hot ass mess… but you know the gays on this show are all in that boat? only archie seems to get to have really nice and and lowkey carefully crafted love interests. grundy + farm lady aside.

my issue with all of the lgbt characters that riverdale has introduces is fundementally the same though, none of them seem to ever get to have a storyline that isn’t solely about their significant other. yes, the core four have had their share of relationship drama, but they also get moments that the other five don’t?

neither one of these relationships started in a good place and only one of them has ever been given the opportunity to talk. kev + moose had the hospital scene [ which is hands down my fave thing that riverdale has ever done ] and the diner w/ midge. none of these characters have ever really been made central enough to the main plot [ again kev + joaquin were loosely important to the finale of season 1, but eh… ] let alone important enough to the writers to be given the development that they need. so comparing the ships to me really is apples and oranges because neither was given a solid foundation and even though kev + moose is “flourishing” is it tho?

it really does do a disservice to both ships in my opinion to keep trying to compare them and act as though one of them is superior?

at the end of the day people can ship whatever they want to ship and support what they want to support. but like, you’re not any better than someone who ships the other?????

but also leave my trash son moose alone. he’s already been shot repeatedly he doesn’t need you dragging him for being trash.

#riverdale #moose mason #kevin keller #answered #monte does life #this feels like i rambled on for way too long #and i'm not really interested in discussion #feel free to start one if you want #probably will respond because i'm that bitch #anonymous

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roominthecastle · 6 years

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“Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power, that is not easy.” - Aristotle, The Art of Rhetoric

Well, look at that ancient Greek dude rolling out a pitch-perfect summary of - what I currently consider to be - Liz’s core issue on TBL. My core issue is that I cannot keep things brief, so I’ll poke this some more bc damn S5 was so much better than I expected, and it left me with an urge to try and sort this canon mess into sth I can swallow.

What’s the deal with Liz, why is her relationship with Red in such a terrible shape at the end of S5, and why is that a likely promise of better things to come?

It’s possible to look at this deterioration as a more or less continuous (organic!) process that reaches back at the very beginning; a process to which both characters have contributed their fair share over the years and now they are reaping the consequences and setting themselves up for a potentially healing collision.

I. Liz has narcissistic traits. Red is a natural born charmer with closely-guarded secrets and a pervasive guilt-complex. Putting them together is like putting mints in a bottle of coke: even on a perfect sunny day it's the kind of fun that leaves a mess.

II. Liz’s traits are amplified by Red’s behavior and Red’s behavior is warped by Tom’s presence. When Red scales things back (i.e. stops going on guilt-trips whenever others don’t feel like facing the consequences of their actions), it only makes things worse. This is the dark side of their intense "lock and key" dynamic, the deep angst pit that has been fore-fronted since S3B due to a rapid sequence of betrayals Red suffers from those closest to him. Tom triggers both empathy and repulsion in him, which in turn feeds his self-hatred and prompts him to keep enabling Liz out of guilt, creating an unsustainable bubble that finally bursts in S5.

III. The current name of the game for Liz is repression and denial, for Red it’s still obsession and rumination. At any given time Liz works off of a partial image of him, which is less about him keeping things from her and more about her purposefully ignoring parts of him in a misguided and doomed attempt to keep an illusion of safe simplicity (she does this with Tom, too). Meanwhile Red displays clear signs of compassion fatigue, which comes with its own destructive habits and distortions of reality.

IV. Sprinters are bad at running marathons. This simple truth has been a background tension factor in the Red/Liz relationship from the get-go. It’s mirrored in Red’s earlier troubles with Madeline and in Liz’s “Tom problem”. It keeps them united yet out of sync, which leads to misunderstandings, doubts, and quite a lot of friction.

more on these behind the cut:

I. Liz has narcissistic traits. Red is a natural born charmer.

Liz has a narcissistic streak and a tendency to delude herself as a messed-up coping mechanism, all of which she voices right off the bat in the pilot episode when Cooper asks her to profile herself (and to give us a brief intro to the character). These manifest chiefly as

(1) angry, aggressive outbursts (2) a sense of entitlement/egocentrism (3) blame-shifting

and she displays these traits to varying degrees throughout the show.

Now add to these the standard “Reddington Effect” that gets pointed out by other characters, articulating what Liz has been feeling since day one:

“There's no one on earth who can make a woman feel like the center of his universe more than Raymond Reddington.” (204)

“I was star-struck. It was exciting and captivating and... it consumed me. My work, my marriage.” (411)

We can also witness this "soft power” in action when Red approaches Zoe, Berlin’s daughter, to use her against her father. We can see how easily he can charm and pull people in to get what he wants. Sometimes it hilariously backfires - as it should - but that’s beside the point rn. The point is, Liz seems to receive this standard treatment, too, and she’s immediately, intensely receptive to it.

We can see both the positive (fascination-attraction) and the negative (rejection-aggression) side of this chemistry early on. She gets exposed to Red’s regular charm routine but it’s ultimately a v different experience because what those women quoted above don’t know (and what Liz still doubts) is that with her, his feelings run very, very deep. She is both the means and the end, the journey and the destination. Neither can walk this road without the other but walk it they must.

II. Liz’s traits are amplified by Red’s behavior and Red’s behavior is warped by Tom’s presence.

Thank God I have Tom, because with you, I never know what to believe. I have never lied to you. How the hell would I know?

Red’s secretive, seductive, guilt-ridden behavior feeds Liz’s narcissistic impulses.

(1) His ingrained "I will never tell you everything” ground rule regularly forms a volatile mix with her proneness to irritability and anger. There are countless examples of this (often understandable) reaction with a wide range that goes from a raised voice to actual physical aggression.

(2) It also clashes with her belief that she's automatically entitled to be told everything, regardless of the possibility that knowing might not make much difference to her but could get others killed, or the fact that she’s often careless w/ sensitive info and sometimes straight-up ignores the answer anyway.

This is an irresponsible and wasteful way of going about getting answers. Wanting to know doesn't entitle anyone to know. It's not at all surprising that Red - whose very life depends on carefully calculated discretion - is rarely fully forthcoming. Still, this is a major source of friction, esp as it seems to run counter to him telling her how special she is and treating her as such with a consistency that most well-adjusted people would fall for. A narcissistic personality like hers stands even less chance. This triggers jealousy and possessiveness very early on, and later engenders a full-blown expectation that when push comes to shove, he would always put her needs above anybody else’s, including his own. This (partially conditioned) expectation is in play e.g. when Tom re-enters her life and also when he violently leaves it again.

(3) Red is also burdened with a lot of chronic guilt which makes him an easy target for blame-shifting by those select few he loves. He often allows Liz to push blame on him for things he is not responsible for and he suffers in silence because “in his heart, he knows he must pay”. This also enables her to delude herself into thinking that he's indeed the unified source of all her problems, which makes her receptive to Mr. Kaplan’s terrible Solution to Nothing that targets him as such. Red has branded himself a “sin eater” and this gets taken full advantage of in a way that veers into emotional abuse. It paves the way for Operation Possum and its fallout that ripples across the next two seasons.

These 3 major negative “lock and key” interactions combine and reach a very unhealthy peak in S3/B. Liz’s thoughtless, pointless fake death stunt pushes Red to an edge he barely manages to pull himself back from, and it throws a wrench in the delicate cogwheels of their relationship where the degree of functionality and “healthiness” has always hinged on proportionate reciprocity (of good and bad alike). The faked death plan is - among other things - so disproportionately cruel and so exceptionally dumb and pointless, it unhinges this interplay.

It shakes Red from his grief- and guilt-induced stupor and cracks his habit of putting Liz on a pedestal. In S4 it is now Dembe who gets to be referred to as the "light in the darkness", which, given the changed circumstances, is a much better arrangement for both Liz and Red. Red would never ask anyone to carry this burden but the truth is, he needs someone like that by his side to keep him from falling to pieces. Dembe is a centered, reliable, well-adjusted person who can carry this heavy weight. Liz can't and she shouldn't, either. Now Dembe needs to be the lighthouse keeper as they navigate their stormy relationship.

On top of pulling Liz from the pedestal, Red also begins to scale back his willingness to play buffer and absorb blame. He pushes back against the kind of behavior he partially conditioned and enabled. He refuses to give in to Mr. Kaplan’s absurd and reckless vendetta that still targets him as the “root of all evil” in Liz’s life. He refuses to keep serving as a scapegoat for Tom’s failings and Liz’s self-imposed blindness, but the most significant “slight” contributing to the big fracture in his relationship with her is his refusal to share the secret of the bag.

“That’s why you’re here. That’s… Not to help me, not to avenge Tom’s death, but to help yourself and get your precious secret back.”

It is less about the secret itself and more about Red prioritizing it above her. She is jealous again but this time it is not directed at a person but at his “precious secret” that ultimately separates him from her, and once again it masquerades as projected and misplaced anger stemming from her deeper desire for their relationship to be close and genuine.

We have been here before when the Fulcrum surfaced:

"That's why you came into my life then. And that's why you're here now. Not because of me or who I am to you, whatever connection we might have, but because of some... object. Some thing."

and after her name gets cleared in S3/B:

I thought maybe after all we've been through the past three months that you might want to take a break. It's a mythic battle, and it's not anywhere close to being over. It's your battle, not mine.

and then again with the bag of bones. “Not me but” is the underlying issue that gets to her in each of these instances and it always manifests as anger.

From her warped perspective (warped by pain, confusion, and narcissism) he is deeply hurting her and taking everything from her to keep himself safe and cozy. It is the complete betrayal of her (partially conditioned but still unreasonable) expectation that he’d always put her and her needs first. In her eyes, this is again proof that their relationship, just like the one with Tom, has been a mere tool, a manufactured illusion, which - coupled with the impostor reveal - must truly mean Red never really cared for her at all.

But her assessment is once again dead wrong because she refuses to take a careful look at all the available information in proper context - a broader context where her personal issues are not the only ones of importance and where Red not bending to her every wish, esp those that make him deeply miserable or an instant murder victim, is not a sign of lack of genuine feelings but of a healthier attitude. She is also projecting anger at her own dishonesty with herself on him, and while it worked back when Red was receptive to it bc it was conducive to his self-flagellation, this messed up coping mechanism is finally breaking down, too, due to his increasing resistance and the multiplying events that signal he was never that alleged single source of evil.

"We want the same thing."

Indeed. It's the need underpinning Liz's anger, the same one Red has already articulated, albeit indirectly: "an inextricable intimacy and a commitment." Liz uses anger to express this, Red uses fish stories and Tom.

We were both half right. Together, we were right.

Liz sees Red's commitment forever lying elsewhere: with his precious secrets. Red sees Liz's commitment tied up in her relationship with Tom even after his betrayal, even after his literal death. They’ve been longing for the other to break away and commit, but this longing still manifests indirectly and out of sync: she pulls Tom between them like a guardrail (and DG, too), so Red flees into his “work” as a defensive response, which she interprets as lack of genuine interest and withdraws further into safe denial, and we have a vicious cycle on our hands. Despite all that, she still wants him to give up his secrets and he still wants her to give up her fixation on Tom. It’s no accident Red is so captivated by her when she describes her fantasy to him. It’s v much his, too.

But they both feel betrayed right now and both cling to their respective security blankets: Red to his secrets, Liz to her anger.

III. The current name of the game for Liz is repression and denial, for Red, it’s obsession and rumination.

Liz's remark about Red during her therapy session is telling and relevant here:

"Some of what he's done is unimaginably bad. But some of what he's done for me is unimaginably good."

She has been privy to many good things Red has done for others (hell, an entire county once) but those are not factored in when she evaluates his "goodness". No, this is about her and again, it produces only a partial image. It is a good start to say to an outsider that they don’t have the full picture of who he is (or can be) and therefore their understanding is skewed. However, the same goes for Liz and she refuses to accept that her POV is limited, too, and that she is complicit in it being so. DG is a prime example: she is handed a DNA test and everything that contradicts the result is pushed aside at once. The same happened when Tom told her he was a changed man: she ignored the contradictions, so she could have the illusion of stability. Red withholds information but it’s Liz who blatantly lies to herself about many things.

But back to the quote above: so only what Red does for her is weighed on the scale of goodness. Only that defines his moral character. It is decidedly untrue but again it's a manifestation of possessiveness and something Red partially conditioned in her in moments where e.g. he says saving her helps him live w/ himself (104) or where he implies that being with her allows him to become less of a monster (209). As a result, he is reduced to something less but something confined to her, something conveniently simplified that - depending on her need - is easier to either embrace or scapegoat. When he goes along with what she wants (whether it is actually good or not), he is a welcome, positive presence. When he refuses her (no matter how justified or necessary it is), he is deemed toxic and gets rejected. But after Tom inserts himself back into their lives and after the fake death betrayal, Red seems to have less and less willingness to silently confine himself to her whims and wishes, and they finally reach a breaking point in S5.

Fans on both sides of the "why does Red care so much about Liz" fence focus heavily on love as his primary drive, and label the nature of the R/L relationship accordingly: parental and romantic respectively. What else could explain such grandiose display of unconditional love other than being related or being in love? To quote Red, "perhaps there's a third option." There is and despite it being on full display (or maybe because of it since the show has conditioned us to assume a convoluted mystery everywhere) we often overlook its importance:

With Red, guilt is the operative word. This is the governing emotion right next to love (a more recent development) to which many of his grand gestures are anchored. The pervasiveness of guilt in Red's life is pointed out several times in the show, most notably in episodes 104, 216, and 319:

“The farmer, who is no longer a farmer sees the wreckage he's left in his wake. It is now he who burns. It is he who slaughters. And he knows, in his heart he must pay.”

“The truth of it is, once you start down this road there's no logical place to stop. For the first few years, it may work. You'll draw some measure of virtue from being her invisible benefactor. But that won't last. It's all a fraud. That it's really not about her at all. That it's all about you. And you're just going through the motions to salve your own guilt. All the money, all the time and effort, all the favors in the world cannot possibly equal what you took away from her. Everything else is just a nice gesture.”

“It was a Hobson's choice. There was a woman and her child. Both were doomed. Both would die. I could either save one or lose both. I chose the child. It was the worst thing I've ever had to do in my life. Worst thing by far. I was arrogant. I presumed that there was an order to things, that there was... that if I nourished and protected and taught the child, she would be safe and happy. And she was neither. No matter what I tried to do, all I brought her was misery and violence.”

In each, the debilitating nature of guilt is given emphasis, the symptoms of which are exhibited by Red throughout the show. Chronic guilt can be an extremely powerful drive. As Red notes, "once you start down this road there's no logical place to stop". He genuinely believes he owes Liz an immeasurable debt and that nothing, not even wrecking or even giving his own life for her, could make up for it. If we look at his behavior from this perspective, the primary answer to why he is willing to go to such great lengths for her becomes obvious. He loves her, too, of course, but love is - as noted above - is a more recent, healthy development, and it still has to co-exist with deep-seated guilt that keeps it in a toxic choke hold. This combination is the main reason why he cannot deny Liz anything (see: Tom) and why he's so vulnerable to blame shifting. When someone believes they deserve to be used and punished by the one they also come to love more than anything, the danger of abuse skyrockets, too.

Guilt-driven gestures, no matter how grandiose, are ultimately selfish and fake, as Red observes. But after he finally meets her, love starts creeping into the picture, shifting their dynamic and imbuing it with something real and selfless. And Red starts pushing back a little now where Tom is concerned. This sprouting, deepening love, however, gets badly trampled on when the guilt-trips and betrayals come. Red endures them because guilt says "you deserve it", but it no longer has quite the same hold as it once did. Heartbreak is a somewhat sobering experience but until the still unknown source of his guilt is uncovered and addressed, his relationship with Liz, his love for her, cannot reach genuine fulfillment.

IV. Sprinters are bad at running marathons.

Red and Liz want the same thing (as we have established above) but she is impulsive and wants it now whereas he is wary and plans long-term.

“I can’t tell you what I’m gonna want 10 years from now. Even a year from now. I just know what I want right now.”

Liz is no fan of delayed gratification. She has wants and she wants those satisfied "right now" even if it means she has to trade a more secure, more enduring yet still unavailable future (Red) for a readily available present of poorer quality (Tom). The former requires hard work (of the sweat, blood, and tears kind), honest self-evaluation, careful planning, and lots of patience. The latter is just easy and right there, so she cuts straight to the finish line, then it all promptly comes crashing down on her.

This is what happens after her exoneration in S3B. She goes to Red but instead of some quality personal time, he acts prickly and distant, then whips out a giant map to show her how just much hard work still needs to be done before Odysseus can even consider returning home. Her response? She rejects it (and him with it) and goes straight back to Tom. He promises to give her everything she wants right there and then at a discount. She only has to bury her head in the sand regarding a couple of things and since Liz is prone to self-delusion and denial by default, she jumps at the opportunity. This is where her relationship with Red begins to go off the rails.

“Circumstances are far more complex than we ever imagined. I’m betting on the long play. The future.”

Red plays the long game when it comes to the most important things in his life, and he doesn’t shy away from torturous self-examination and self-denial to secure enduring results and a better future for those he loves. Liz’s relationship with Tom was a sprint with many corner-cutting and the inevitable letdown. They had a short present, but no future. With Red, there is a future still but Liz has to run a marathon to reach it and being a sprinter, she struggles a lot.

But she is not the only one struggling. Red is still traumatized by the loss of his family, which makes him instinctively reluctant to try to settle down again. Those who inflicted that debilitating loss still represent an active force in the world (see: the map). The longing to settle down is certainly there. It’s a dream he shares with Liz. They practically wish upon it under the stars while “Our House” is playing, but on top of his guilt and grief, the circumstances seem to be forever against him, so he doesn’t dare actively push for it like she does (he even rejects Agnes at first). He redirects his focus to the “job” to try and create a safer environment and maybe a future opportunity. This folds back to the marathon approach that Liz rejects at first but now, after Tom's demise, she must face. She vows to destroy Red but I don't think it will be a literal destruction. Deep down they still want the same thing and even though they have yet to admit it openly, they want it with each other.

Their time spent on the run in S3/A is immersed in the theme of a shared home. Liz and Red seek refuge in a theater where the stage is set as a home. This is where Liz tells Red about her fantasy and this is where Red immediately retreats behind a wall when he realizes that Liz will be pulled back into Tom's orbit.

“I’m not interested in what you want. I’m interested in what you deeply desire. I can sense that death and vengeance aren’t what drive you, Elizabeth. Or feed your soul. [What does?] A lost world, I suspect. Another life. If you can’t face your truths, I can’t be of service.”

The Djinn makes a clear distinction between “what you want” and “what you deeply desire”. It is echoed in the tension-filled dream Liz has where Red removes Tom from the picture just when he is about to spill a secret (nice piece of foreshadowing btw), then stalks up to her bed and asks her the same thing - not just what she wants but what she really wants. This image of Red stepping up as a sexual-romantic partner after her husband’s demise is shoved deep down in her subconscious. It is one she is not yet ready to face, but it is there - the option of making a home with him, an option he, too, keeps at arm’s length due to past trauma and present circumstances, and it adds even more tension to their interplay.

This exact type of unresolved tension has already popped up on this show when Madeline Pratt re-entered Red's life w/ some grievances.

"Florence was everything, our way out, a fresh start. But to you, it’s all just a job."

She feels betrayed and played for a fool because Red chose to continue living his danger-magnet criminal life, prioritizing it over her and their intended home.

"They used Pratt as bait, faked the kidnapping in order to bring Red into the Kings’ custody."

Later on, counting on his savior complex, she lands him in hot water to get even. She stages her own kidnapping and lures Red into a trap set by an enemy with a score to settle. If it sounds familiar, that’s because we see something similar play out between Liz and Red. It’s low-key in the background during S3-4 (w/ the whole home theme) and gets kicked into high-gear in the S5 finale (when Liz thinks he played her for a fool so he can continue living his criminal life):

We were out. You said the ship we were on was headed to Spain. Change of plans. Because? Because after far too much time playing defense, today’s the day we switch to offense.

They could get away and start a new life but Red refuses to quit his "mission". As mentioned above, he tells Liz they still have a lot to do and her reaction is disappointment, and when Tom offers her everything Red is not yet able (to go away and start fresh), she accepts. And this is when their downward spiral begins in earnest and all the accumulated hurt peaks in S5, in Liz's very Madeline-esque plan to fake a kidnapping and lure Red to one of his enemies for some answers and score-settling (the same business the Kings were into w/ their illicit auctions):

If you’re gonna tell him you hurt me, he’s got to believe you. You knew Reddington would come for you. He got to do what he always does: try and save me.

Indeed. And he is about to confess his greatest secret to save her life when they get interrupted and an alternate solution presents itself. He kills Sutton, takes the bag and leaves. Liz vows to destroy him after this and I think she is right. Raymond Reddington needs to die for good this time. He needs to die so the man behind that mask can finally emerge. He needs to die so Liz can finally face and understand the full picture.

Red’s guilt feeds on the secrets he keeps and Liz continues to cling to her anger because these secrets are a wedge between them. The murky past and their distorted perception of it (Red's warped by guilt, Liz's scrambled by memory manipulation) hold them and their relationship hostage, so it must be disclosed and sorted for both their sakes. The second chance will not come until this happens. When it does, I think it will be the most cathartic moment in the history of this show.

This collision course is their way back home.

#long post #the blacklist #lizzington #(not too much i was trying really hard to keep this from turning into a shipper fantasy blueprint)#(emphasis on trying)#speculation #musings #q

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hollandbaby · 6 years

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How about the concept of bestfriend sam?

aw okay - you’d have met in school and become fast friends - and you’d have one of those friendships where people are like ‘ooh don’t you fancy them?’ and you’re both like no that’s weird??? - and you’d have sleepovers but nikki would be like leave the door open!!!! - sam rolling his eyes bc ‘mum, we don’t like each other like that’ - you just laughing- okay i feel like you’d end up having some seriously deep conversations late at night?? - talking about politics, childhood, past relationships and stuff - also at parties he’d get drunk and probably get off with someone and you’re like ‘yeahhhh go sammy!!!!’ - you’d have to call tom to come pick you up bc you’ve had a biiiiit to drink as well lol - tom helping you carry sam to the car - ‘bloody hell, bro, you’re fuckin’ heavy’ i can’t i love big brother!tom - sam drunkenly telling tom how much he loves him - tom rolling his eyes like ‘love you too bud’ - you’d sit in the back with sam and let him rest his head in your lap - ‘if you’re sick on me, sam, i swear to god i will castrate you’ - ‘fucking hell’ - you’re joking ofc- you’d offer to stay at the holland’s that night to keep sam in check and make sure he doesn’t throw up everywhere - his hangover the next day lmao - you and harry would so take the piss - ‘shut up, dicks’ - he’d be so protective of you as well but in a soft way - if a boy or girl were to mess you around you’d go to him immediately - just talking to him about it and he’d hug you and tell you it’s okay and that they’re a dick for leading you on - he’d make sure you’re thinking rationally and not blaming yourself for anything - basically sammy is soft and giggly and i love him can he be my best friend please

#sam holland headcanon #sam holland fluff #best friend!sam holland #sam holland au #ask

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imbriums-blog · 6 years

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hello my angels ! i’m sorry this is so late but i’m sarah & i’m 18 yrs old & live in the hellhole that is ohio so the est timezone ! i’m ur token harry potter nerd & lover of all things musical... anyways u can hear more about 5/10 of my problematic children under the cut ! i’m gonna try to keep it short but i lov to talk so we’ll see ! if you’re willing to plot give this post a big mf like & i’ll come crawlin’ to ur ims !

— ✯ | barbara delaney savenkov ! + pinterest board !

tw: death, murder

laura harrier, cisfemale, she/her — have you met barbara delaney savenkov yet ? the twenty-three year old is known for being both poised and enticing, but also very skeptical and deceiving. born in san francisco, barbie now lives in soho, waiting tables at the fork and assassinating people on the side for some extra cash. + wanted connections !

so barbara was born n raised in san francisco, california to a solidly middle class family. her parents were divorced growing up, although they were friendly & got along well enough to be friends & co-parent barbie. she’d always been quite an idealist like Yes The World Is Good but when she was twenty, her dad had died due to a rogue heart attack that seemingly happened for no reason & it completely shattered barbara.

that’s when a local gang found her, at her ultimate low, & roped her into their business. she stayed w them for two years or so & at some point or another barbara started to realize that she didn’t think this business & way to make money was a good one. eventually, they starting cutting pay & barbara started to feel like she was bein manipulated. working w the gang kind of made her give up her optimism & is what truly formed her into the stone cold but somehow still elegant & captivating barbie she is today ! her idealistic attitude & never-ending optimism died with all of the shady shit that gang made her do.

then barbara was offered a job as an assassin for a powerful man doin some shady shit & she was unable to refuse even tho her first instinct was to turn it down – it offered great money & stability, & with the impression that she’d only be hurting people who deserved it, barbara shakily accepted the deal & left the gang !

she’s not pleased w the fact that she’s murdering ppl for a living, obviously, but she tries to make do with what she has & tells herself that the ppl she’s killing deserve it but !! messy !

personality-wise, barbara comes off as super intimidating at first n like she just doesn’t have feelings… super proper n always sitting upright n stiff as fuck… scares ppl away bc she seems like a robot at first

she's that kid who studies for the test like 3 weeks before it actually happens and has color coordinated highlighting and bullet journals.. she wants to be on top of everything, constantly – she doesn’t like feeling unorganized or like she’s falling apart ? i think it’s partially bc she tends to over perfect areas of her life like that, and like color coordinating her closet and making sure everything is tidy to make up for the Mess that is her secret career ??

one of the most annoying things ever is how perfect she seems on the surface ?? like, she likes everybody n is probably the type of person who rescues stray kittens from trees n sings as little birdies fly down & comb her hair or some shit but anyone close to barbie in real life knows she is a hardcore mess

that friend who’s like “oh my god i look so fat in this picture” n literally everybody groans bc shut the fuck up karen ur perfect

could literally say “fuck off” to somebody n the tone of voice she uses would make them think she was complimenting them

— ✯ | cordelia esther king ! + pinterest board !

alycia debnam-carey, cisfemale, she/her — have you met cordelia esther king yet ? the twenty-two year old is known for being both affable and buoyant, but also very whimsical and corybantic. born in salem, delia now lives in lambeth, working as a wedding planner and forming unrealistic expectations of true love.

so ngl cordelia is very inspired by jane from 27 dresses but w/ some twists so i’m not completely unoriginal

she was born to a pastor for a father in salem aka witch town ! cordelia was raised as kind of a perfect goody goody two shoes u know.. classic girl next door who sleeps w a teddy bear even at twenty-two & her entire room is covered in pink, she spends her spare time baking n blushing over boys smiling at her wtvr... she was always strong-willed & opinionated but shut up out of fear of being made fun of u know, kids these days r mean

so then when cordelia is old enough to leave her parents house ( let’s say like a year ago ) she decides that she’s tired of being the nice girl in the shadows & that she wants to live life more on the edge so she vows to start living life dangerously & being badass... whatever that means

it’s actually kind of funny, because she’ll stroll into a bar & bat her eyelashes at the bartender & single ppl in the room to try & get them to order a drink for her solely bc she doesn’t know the names of any drinks... has no common sense & is too naive for her own good ( what is a handjob... what does “on the rocks” mean ) but the girl’s trying to [ troy bolton vc ] break free so who am i to judge ?

she’s a wedding planner who’s actually in love with the idea of love & has watched the notebook 1 too many times... despite her being wildt nowadays she’s still into the whole “when i meet the one for me my foot will pop when we kiss & i’ll feel fireworks” thing.. it’s cute but also sad but ! cute !

personality-wise... she’s outspoken & friendly & incredibly flirty, but at the same time she probably either assumes you’re flirting w her when you’re really not or has no clue that you’re hitting on her when ur literally kissing her

is totally sandy at the end of grease when she’s like “tell me about it, stud” acting all badass but then doesn’t know what to do w her cigarette butt & looks nervously at her friends like WTF DO I DO

please come corrupt her or fuck her up... or be nice 2 her & teach her how to be a human being

— ✯ | dexter leroy bates ! + pinterest board !

torrance coombs, cismale, he/him — have you met dexter leroy bates yet ? the thirty-one year old is known for being both inventive and idealistic, but also very farouche and indecisive. born in hackney, dex now lives in croydon, editing badly filmed videos and gluing himself to a camera 24/7.

basically a nerdy starving artist based on mark from rent with a lil bit of peter parker in him

a broke ass bitch living in croydon trying his best to make it as a photographer / film maker

he has huge dreams of hollywood but his films r probably kinda bad... but he tries his best n i love him for it

kinda nerdy & word vomit-y... super cute... would die for his friends but also would kill u for insulting one of them

is that nerd that is actually hot n buff n shit but u never notice bc he wears hoodies n hides behind a camera bc i lov stereotyping apparently

i don’t really have his backstory worked out yet tbfh so really ? go wild w connections for my son

— ✯ | davina leigh cordero ! + pinterest board !

lauren jauregui, cisfemale, she/her — have you met davina leigh cordero yet ? the twenty-one year old is known for being both intuitive and diligent, but also very seclusive and obstinate. born in whitby, davina now lives in soho, studying journalism and avoiding as much human interaction as possible.

100% based on rory gilmore bc apparently even tho i’m on season 2 i luv the characters Too Much

basically everything i aspire 2 be in a person... hardworking as fuck, loves school so fricking much, antisocial as hell !

davina is deadass brilliant & her idea of wild is staying up past 11 on a school night or waiting to do her homework on saturday instead of friday

sweet, a lil bit awkward, but the cutest ever n i would die for her

would much rather be chillin w her books than anything else tbh & doesn’t know how to hold proper interactions but it’s more charming than anything else

grew up with only her dad mostly, since her mom worked full time & lived out of town for reasons but they both love her a ton. her dad would give her the whole world if he could, & owns a quaint little coffee shop in whitby & is constantly calling davina to check up on her... when she got older her mom moved back in w her dad so since then she’s gotten a lot closer to her but there’s still just such a bond between her dad & her u know

what is romance ? davina doesn’t know

come fuck her up

— ✯ | sawyer maisie pitman ! + pinterest board !

josefine frida pettersen, cisfemale, she/her — have you met sawyer maisie pitman yet ? the twenty year old is known for being both undaunted and driven, but also very apathetic and blunt. born in bristol, sawyer now lives in wandsworth, being a tragically pathetic starving artist & student.

so sawyer was adopted as a baby, unnamed, to two moms who love her more than anything in the world. one’s a publisher & one’s an english professor, & they’re both huge fricking nerds, so she was named after tom sawyer !

as soon as she could walk she was talented with art & everything that had to do with it & not long after entering high school she decided that that’s what she wanted to do & nothing was going to get in the way of it

now, as a student & hopeful artist, sawyer is dead set on getting where she wants to be & has no tolerance for bullshit... like if u ain’t helping her further her career, ur unimportant to her

relationships ? cancelled. romance is a DISTRACTION from her work & only complicates her life !

blunt as fuck & doesn’t sugar coat things. she says things like they are & expects others to do the same bc she has no time for drama or whatnot

stubborn as fuck & nearly impossible to talk to sometimes bc she’s so set in her ways but hey love me a strong woman amirite

sharp-tongued & sarcastic as fuck but can be incredibly kind when the time is right !

#smoke:intros

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