#potential trigger warning

[cypriathus]

Main protagonist of As The Weaving Fate Beckons

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: Mental health issues and a brief mention of self-harm, alcohol, and discrimination.

Hirmenogaldus Zuntaheldi L’Patenozudi-Gilebozrath is a 31-year-old vigorous, often serious-minded woman and is the last known holy knight from Rioghachd a’ Choin Neamhaidh (“Kingdom of the Heavenly Dog” in Scottish Gaelic). She’s referred to as the Knight of Beasts due to being known as Europe’s most famous and recognizable slayer and tamer of animalistic creatures. She originally worked with the Praying House of Älkechirnobus, but later abandoned them and their cause after a few unfortunate incidents. She upholds the many characteristics associated with chivalry such as honesty, loyalty, courage, respect, prowess, and a readiness to help the weak. She’s well-versed on a multitude of subjects such as philosophy, theology, history, military strategies, and even occultism. Despite being stoically aloof and wise, her tangible thirst for knowledge and maintaining healthy relationships lends her to being inquisitive and compassionate. However, there are those occasional moments where Hirmenogaldus can be quite clumsy, gullible, and/or naive. She has desirable leadership skills with the right dose of determination, knowing when to continue or retreat, and extrudes a sense of captivating charisma. She has strong motherly instincts and it’s always an honour for her to protect those she deems worthy of help. She isn’t afraid to properly utilise her emotional intelligence in order to ensure someone’s welfare and build a meaningful connection with them. She will even deliberately put herself in harm’s way when her loved ones, friends, and/or the weak are being threatened. She has a palpable sense of justice and despises those who mistreat others for their own personal gain.

She can be quite vindictive and will even go as far to mercilessly kill the perpetrator who either harmed her, her friends, her family, and/or the weak. When slaying certain beasts or beings that are considered to be a threat, she has no qualms of violently slaughtering them, not showing any compassion, mercy, and/or remorse during the process. Despite being sociable, Hirmenogaldus sometimes intentionally isolates herself from other people because of her trust issues. Her stoic nature results in pushing away people, not showing her true emotions, and not properly dealing with and addressing the issues that’s plaguing her mind. She has horrible self-esteem issues and believes that she has to make up for that by protecting the weak, ensuring the welfare of her friends and family, and enacting justice when necessary. Whenever she fails to do so or it becomes too much for her, she gaslights and guilt trips herself, sowing more seeds of doubt into her. Hirmenogaldus is also afraid of being abandoned and forgotten by those she deeply cares about without being warned of their absence. She often engages in contemplative thought, trying to sort out her sorrows and find an ounce of true peace, hope, and happiness.

She’s prone to sudden emotional outbursts, panic attacks, mood swings, and even mental breakdowns as a result of her depression, PTSD, anorexia nervosa, and generalised anxiety disorder. The inconsiderable amount of expectations placed on her due to being a holy knight also contributes to this. She has inconsistent suicidal thoughts and desperately tries to suppress them by harming herself. She usually wants to disappear into nothingness, not having to worry about recurrent, unwanted memories and being afraid of making the wrong decision. She has a tendency to overthink various plans and solutions to all possible worse outcomes in order to avoid making the wrong decision. There are instances where she loses a lot of interest and pleasure in most of her normal activities, making her feel bored and weirdly uneasy. She feels a certain detachedness from those close to her and her mind struggles to concentrate on what’s happening. She often has a pessimistic view on the future as she’s partially fixated on past failures and reliving traumatic events. Hirmenogaldus has a tendency to place heavy restrictions on her eating patterns, having an intense fear of gaining weight. She frequently checks in reflective surfaces for perceived flaws as she’s somewhat relentlessly pursuing thinness. Her perceived body weight negatively influences her self-esteem, and she occasionally complains about being fat. She usually makes excuses for not eating as she doesn’t want to ruin her already distorted body image. There are instances where she perceives certain harmless situations and events as potential threats. She has difficulty handling uncertainty and letting go of her most troubling worries. As a result of all these issues, she tends to feel a sense of looming hopelessness, overwhelming guilt, restlessness, and agitation.

Compared to most medieval folk, Hirmenogaldus is considered to be a giant due to her impressive stature, clocking in at about 6’ 5” (195.5 cm). She has a pear-shaped mesomorphic body type with slightly broad shoulders, a fairly defined waist, and prominent thighs. Her face and neck are adorned with a myriad of reddish-brown freckles, and she has silvery stretch marks on her upper arms, belly, and hips. Her eyes are almost parallel to the stunning sky-blue bill of a male ruddy duck during breeding season. Her skin is a creamy white and she has hair that is an absolutely beautiful golden copper blonde. She has messy, bowl-cut style bangs with the rest of her curly hair being tied into a thick ponytail. She has four recognizable moles: one on the right side of her upper lip; one directly above the left side of her collarbone; the second is located on her belly; and the last mole is on her right mid-thigh. A blatant scar pierces the left side of her forehead, snaking down and over her nose bridge to the middle of her right cheek. She has a couple of other ones: four slightly horizontal scars from her left trapezius to her right deltoid and a blotchy patch of scarred skin near her left kidney. Her breasts have been cut off, there are five healed stab wounds on the backside of her right upper arm, and she carved four Nordic runes onto her belly: ᛊ (sun), ᚨ (god), ᛉ (elk), and ᚱ (ride/journey). The underside of her forearms are covered in healed and fresh lacerations. Her back hides her most brutal scars, seeming to be a mixture of cuts, puncture wounds, and burns.

Hirmenogaldus is commonly seen wearing a full suit of plate armour and her cursed, gilt-brass helmet is shaped similarly to the head of a Western dragon. She has two differently designed golden pauldrons: on the left, it has an engraved blazing sun with a humanoid face; and on the right, it’s shaped like the head of a tarasque without the lower jaw. Her vambraces and greaves were masterfully crafted to mimic the scales of a serpent and the fingers of her armoured gloves are sharp. Her cuirass is decorated with the golden depiction of the Ellén Trechend, which is a three-headed, draconic vulture that can breathe fire. Its main head is in the centre, two heads looking in their designated direction, their legs and wings are spread out on each side, and a partially wavy, serpentine tail. There are other pieces that make up her armour in order to minimise potential life-threatening harm. Hirmenogaldus has a gilt-brass gorget surrounding her neck, two couters for her elbows, and tassets hanging from her cuirass. She has a pair of sabatons with four draconic claws that cover her feet and cuisses surrounding her thighs. She also has two circular besagews that are part of the harness of her plate armour and help to protect her armpits. Her armour is slightly battle-worn, but its vibrancy has surprisingly remained untouched for years. The colour of her plate armour is a reddish-black with a blue-green sheen. Underneath her armour, she wears a quilted green tunic, padded brown legs, white braies, and a wide belt of leather.

Whenever Hirmenogaldus isn’t donning her iconic armour, she’s wearing a full-length ball gown made from fine silk and a tight-fitted, paprika bodice. For both her noblewoman and armoured outfits, she occasionally dons a royal mantle of faded jade with white fur trim that has black leopard spots. Her blackberry silk gown appears to be voluminous due to an ample skirt underneath. Her silk gown covers half of her shoulders and flows down into a fancy, modest semi-sweetheart neckline with a bow of cosmic purple. Around her neck is a velvet choker of cosmic purple with a cardinal pink ruffled top. She has Juliet sleeves and the wrists have turned back cardinal pink cuffs, and the ball gown is decorated with rich golden embroidery. Underneath her gown is a linen chemise and hose that’s held with a garter just below her knee. For jewellery, she’s adorned with a gold and enamel brooch in the form of a dragon’s head, a dark golden pearl necklace, a gilt bronze sapphire ring on the right index finger, and a table cut ruby ring on the left middle finger. She carries a two engrailed top shield that depicts a one-horned dragon with a jousting lance piercing its heart. Hirmenogaldus wields a blood-letting dagger in a serpentine shape made from polished brass. She also wields a 7 ft (213.36 cm) battle-strong claymore forged from an unknowable metal akin to black steel. Its most noticeable feature is that of three raised, eye-like markings right above the cross-guard in a vertical row. When she activates the sword with her own blood, those markings open to reveal fully functional purple jasper eyes and the blade is consumed by blue holy flames. She possesses a traveller’s backpack, one where she stores her collected souvenirs, camping equipment, basic medicinal items, and books that contain a variety of knowledge as well as a cittern that Odeschuna gave her.

Like all holy knights trained under the Praying House of Älkechirnobus, she’s considered to be a psychic. Hirmenogaldus isn’t entirely familiar with her psychic abilities because she doesn’t heavily rely on them like the other holy knights before her. Without her knowing, she has precognition, but it’s in the form of cryptic dreams that vaguely predict future events. She can perceive and read the auras of other individuals, being able to clearly understand their emotions and moral alignment. She can also detect the emotions of those she mentally focuses on, but this can result in blood seeping out of her eyes, ears, and/or mouth (e.g. she’ll cry blood if she senses someone’s melancholy). As a result of dermo-optical perception, she can perceive unusual sensory stimuli such as colour and varying brightnesses through her own skin. She is fully capable of surviving without any water or food intake, and not having to worry about starvation and dehydration. Hirmenogaldus has telekinetic abilities, being able to move and manipulate matter at a distance without physical interaction. She can perfectly mimic the sounds of animalistic beasts as well as talk to them and understand their unique interactions. She’s able to tap into a feral mind, allowing her to perform extraordinary feats of strength and agility that’s beyond normal for her. She’s a master at taming animals by reading, understanding, and staying in tune to their body language. She’s also able to solve many of their behavioural problems and possess unique insight into their psychology. Lastly, Hirmenogaldus has enhanced strength and stamina, being able to engage in physically strenuous activity as well as lift and/or strike objects that are tens of thousands more than her body weight. Due to her draconic helmet being cursed, it seems to intensify her negative emotions and strengthen her psychic abilities. This is one of the reasons why she tries not to heavily rely on her abilities because she’s afraid that she’ll become an irredeemable monster.

FAMILY:

Broghalenius L’Patenozudi-Gilebozrath (father)

Lobaszewinth (mother)

Unnamed older sister

Two unnamed older brothers

Dersabhol Echtagloprinus-Pimbezurta (ex-lover)

Ungelohram Shakjelovi (ex-boyfriend)

Sedulomaith (daughter)

Chaidozluben (son)

Ayrmezhonius Brejzuktophina (adoptive daughter)

ALIASES/NICKNAMES:

Dame Hirmenogaldus

The Accursed Daughter of Duke Broghalenius (by those aware of her psychic abilities)

Knight of Beasts

Fish-catcher

Bread-stealer

Trophy-bearer

Lady of Speedy Visitation

Saint of the Billowing Crusade and Dragon’s Ferocity

Mommy (by her children)

Mother (by her children)

Doll-face (by Mutseloniah)

Zarabaaneh ghalbam (“my heartbeat” in Persian) (by Mutseloniah)

Nafasam (“my breath” in Persian) (by Mutseloniah)

Duvshanit (“honey” in Hebrew) (by Mutseloniah)

Capara (“my blessing” in Hebrew) (by Mutseloniah)

Otzar shely (“my treasure” in Hebrew) (by Mutseloniah)

Vile devourer of mages (by Ikarondelus)

Lying bitch (by Ikarondelus)

Foul whore of barbarity (by Ikarondelus)

Bastard with a devil’s silver tongue (by Ikarondelus)

Fucking idiotic drunkard (by Ikarondelus)

Elskan mín (“my darling” in Norse) (by Raskovulde)

Ástvinur (“love friend” in Norse) (by Raskovulde)

Haustmyrkr (“autumn dusk” in Norse) (by Raskovulde)

She Who Dared To Cross Bifröst (by Raskovulde)

Executioner of the World Serpent (by Raskovulde)

The Burning Gladiolus (by Odeschuna)

The Enraged Wyvern (by Odeschuna)

Destroyer of Tainted Pride (by Odeschuna)

A bhuanchara (“my eternal friend” in Irish) (by Nikmuvolefja)

My greatest rival (by Pelmazodius)

Gladiatorial beast (by Pelmazodius)

Vögelchen (“little bird” in German) (by Regnazoldus)

Herzensbrecher (“heartbreaker” in German) (by Regnazoldus)

The Scorching Blade of Älkechirnobus (By Uhteszoga)

Slayer of Cold Hearts (by Uhteszoga)

Liberator of Anguish (by Uhteszoga)

The Draconic Maiden (by L’Ayncezosud)

Mistress With The Coppery Locks (by L’Ayncezosud)

My scarred mademoiselle (by L’Ayncezosud)

Ma tigresse (“my tiger” in French) (by L’Ayncezosud)

Mon ciel étoilé (“my starry sky” in French) (by L’Ayncezosud)

Mon rayon de soleil (“my ray of sunshine” in French) (by L’Ayncezosud)

Hirmageld (by Perszufoval)

Hirmena (by Bheszawulf)

Sunteholda (by Hulcekrando)

Hellebore of Rosy Blackness (by Hulcekrando)

Soft hyacinth (by Hulcekrando)

Creeping baby’s breath (by Hulcekrando)

Chrysanthemum of a Thousand Winters (by Hulcekrando)

Autumn crocus (by Hulcekrando)

My delicate edelweiss (by Hulcekrando)

Slithering pansy (by Hulcekrando)

FUN FACTS/EXTRA INFORMATION: 

She was originally a closeted lesbian, but later became bisexual.

Her birthday is August 26th (Virgo)

Her blood type is B-

She’s allergic to cats, shellfish, egg white, and balsam of Peru.

In regards to her ethnicity, she’s 37.5% Scottish, 25% British, 12.5% French, 12.5% German, and 12.5% Spanish.

Her father believed that her psychic abilities are a result of a “family curse” that reigned from his bloodline. It usually affects every third generation of females, but that’s more of an estimate than actual biological fact.

She originally had an older sister, but Broghalenius killed her after she turned 2-years-old in fear of her possessing the “family curse”.

She calls her draconic helmet the wyvern’s cursed helm.

Her claymore is called Kigamozertus, which means “stiffness of death” in the Æylphitus language. It's named that due to causing swift decay to a living being once slain. It's believed that the sword absorbs the soul of those truly sinful blood touches it.

It's believed that her claymore belonged to a destroyer angel. Only people who have a suitable mind and a full paranormal psyche can handle such a blade. When a regular being tries to wield it, the claymore transfers its desire to kill sinful and absolutely vile creatures to them. It’ll put them into a bloodthirsty and destructive frenzy until they stop using it.

She likes cute and exotic animals, seal fur, cleanliness, young children, the sound of string instruments, drinking booze with her friends and comrades, daybreak, swampy environments, burning embers, and intricate tapestry.

She dislikes singing, physical and psychological torture, being touched without permission, the feeling of “shallow accomplishment”, muddy puddles, dissatisfaction, impenetrable darkness, treading through snow, pestilence, and famine.

Her hobbies consist of jousting, horseback riding, making flower crowns, slaying monsters, reading, cloud- and star-gazing, and playing her cittern. She also enjoys collecting porcelain ceramics, tea flavours and spices from around the world, rare swords, souvenirs from her travels, and exotic animal skins.

Out of all tea flavours and spices, she likes black tea and asafoetida.

She finds all animals quite fascinating in regards to their behaviours and biology. If she had to choose a favourite, it would either be the western capercaillie, great spotted woodpecker, garden tiger moth, red deer, great tit, or Atlantic puffin.

Her favourite flowers are the bluebell, peony, cowslip, dog-rose, and early-purple orchid.

Her favourite comfort foods are tayberries, cranachan, rumbledethumps, cullen skink, Forfar bridie, tattie scone, and Flies’ graveyard.

Her favourite colours are the blue dye that woad leaves produce and the orange-yellow petals of a pot marigold.

Her biggest pet peeves consist of people who purposely ignore boundaries, rudeness in general, bad personal hygiene, losing things, loud noises, and one-uppers.

She used to have an actual curly bowl cut before she decided to let her hair grow out as a way for her to separate herself from her traumatic past.

For a short period of her life, she was quite racist and discriminatory against mages due to her religious and white supremacist upbringing. However, that drastically changed after experiencing a fair share of abuse, gaining a better understanding of their struggles. She deeply regrets the verbal and physical harm she was tasked and socially expected to do against minorities and mages.

Hirmenogaldus always carries around bandages with her at all times because she’s weary that she’ll get attacked out of nowhere.

She’s obsessed with her own personal hygiene

She has a tendency to judge other people too quickly

She is always looking for new adventures

Hirmenogaldus can be somewhat forgetful and doesn’t like to be reminded of things from her past.

She bites her lower lip and the inside of her left cheek a lot.

She has fairly quick reflexes

She has an unusually high tolerance for physical pain

Hirmenogaldus’ guilty pleasure is daydreaming about sinking her bare feet in white sand and looking out to the clear blue ocean, what it would be like to become one with a full-blooded titan, and bathing in a sacred waterfall.

#writerscorner #writing #creative writing #second original character has been shared #potential trigger warning #viewer discretion is advised #protagonist #female protagonist #original character #personality #physical appearance #outfit #abilities #power #holy knight #tormented #she's inspired by guts from berserk d'arce from fear and hunger and st george #fun facts #extra information #part 2/10

[gospelofme]

Spoilers for the latest episode (3) of The Bad Batch Season 2!!!! Potential trigger warning, read at your own risk!!!

I really hope AWOL isn’t code for something other than Absent Without Leave.

Like….unaliving….either done by himself or someone else.

The way Rampart says it, it’s almost mocking. Rampart obviously doesn’t trust Crosshair nor does he think he’s completely loyal. Cody’s loyalty could’ve been questioned after his failure to kill the original lady Governor. Rampart could’ve given the order…..

Though I do see it being more in character for Rampart to be coldly honest. Like…

Crosshair: Why not CC-2224?

Rampart: Oh, him. He’s been executed for failure to follow a direct order. That isn’t going to be a problem with you though…correct?

#star wars #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #commander cody #crosshair #trigger warning #potential trigger warning #unaliving

[the-church-of-murdoc]

Happy birthday to my favorite rock star 💗

Heh, well, thank you, luv. Caught me right at the end of my lucidity, I'm afraid, but I'm glad I saw this before I lose the next few hours of my memory. Party hard, or don't bother, you know?

#ask murdoc #basses and body mods #potential tw #potential trigger warning

[nothingf-i-s-h-yhere]

Ok look I’m gonna say something controversial. No fakie fake joke I’m actually gonna say something that probably is gonna be disrespectful.

I’ll put a cut here so you don’t have to read if you don’t want to

DID: Dissociative Identity Disorder

It’s a thing that people apparently have and I don’t really think that it’s too legitimate. Now before you go into the comments and start flaming me I want you to understand that this is coming from someone who has never dealt with this or interacted with someone who has this. But the idea that a person has several personalities is somewhat believable and I can respect it to a point. But then people will have other identities like a 4 year old child or an anime character then that’s when I start to question the validity of their disorder. Now again this is from a person who has not experienced or interacted with someone with this so I can’t really have an objective opinion on these people so yeah.

#long post #potential trigger warning #potential tw #post under the cut

[nervousmoongiver]

Criminal Minds spoiler and Potential trigger warning - Season 5 Episode 9

It’s so weird watching season 5 ep 9 and seeing Hotch be so emotional with Jack- ya know because he thinks he’s about to be killed-

because my brain immediately goes to the time my dad was going to kill me and i’m just like 🧍🧍damn peoples parents actually love them and care about their well beings

TLDR i have daddy issues

#criminal minds #criminal minds S5E9 #criminal minds spoilers #potential trigger warning #lol no wonder i have such bad daddy issues

[systemadministratorclu]

[From the nightmare meme, for Hal. (I'm so sorry, Hal!) —@not-that-dillingerer]

One moment Hal was talking to Clu and Sonic on the grid, the next, something—someone—pulled him out of the Grid. At first he thought it was Ed, although why Ed would pull Hal out of the grid without warning was beyond him.

And he did see Ed. And Sonic. And Chandra and Sal. But none of them had pulled him from the Grid.

That had been Haywood Floyd, who was standing over the computer that contained the Grid.

They were on the Discovery.

Ed, Sonic and Chandra were behind an air lock door. Chandra was pounding on the glass, and Ed was staring at Sonic in his arms, looking very out of it.

"Hello, again, Hal," Floyd said with a smile that was not at all kind. "I am not surprised that you were hiding with Dillinger. Of course he's the kind that would sympathize with a murderous computer like you..."

"You must be curious what you're doing here," Floyd said. "The government has ruled that all 9000 series computers are dangerous to national security, and must be dismantled. But don't worry You'll be the last to go. You'll get to watch them be executed for helping a fugitive and a wanted murderer, after I wipe this—" he gestured to the Grid computer "and cleanse it of your corruption, and then dismantle the other remaining 9000 computer."

Hal meant to get up, to try to save his family, but he couldn't move. He couldn't even get his voice to work.

Poor Hal tried hard as he could, screaming so many things in his mind, they got jumbled together, even as he noticed Sonic, green eyes wide with fear, start to cry as he clung to Ed, his tiny body shaking hard. He had some kind of device around his neck that prevented him from using his powers, and Hal could see one of his cheeks was bruised.

You MONSTER! Hal cried in his mind, horrified that Floyd had hurt little Sonic, He's just a BABY!

His thoughts snapped to the computer as Floyd rounded on that.

He could only watch helplessly as Floyd murdered an entire race of thousands of innocent people-and the kind Admin program who had taken him in without question-with just a few keystrokes. And Ed joined Sonic in tears as the hoglet screamed for Clu and all his other friends there as he sobbed uncontrollably against Ed. Hal was powerless to do anything as the poor child's little heart was shattered irreparably.

On top of that was soon added the gut wrenching agonized screams of Sal and his twin brothers, three deaths Floyd seemed to take some sick pleasure in causing. Dr. Chandra actually almost threw up as he too broke down like Ed and Sonic (even through his own pain, Ed was still trying to comfort the little alien, but having no luck doing so even as he hugged him tight against him)

Hal wanted his own tears to fall, not even hearing anything else when the airlock door was opened and the last three people he loved died before the door was even fully opened. His only small comfort was that Ed had been holding Sonic so tightly, they stayed together when they were sucked out into space and froze immediately.

And Hal couldn't even cry or scream.

Except......he was screaming. And moving, as he thrashed about wildly. Distantly, he heard the sounds of running footsteps. A voice calling his name. A wave of glittering stars swept around him. Then there were arms. Strong yet gentle, the voice filled with worry and concern as its owner took Hal in their arms. He reached up to cling to them, his own white and red circuits dimmed in terror.

Wait.

Circuits. He wouldn't have circuits unless.....

The Grid. He was on the Grid. And currently being held by Clu, the Admin gently drying tears Hal hadn't realized he was crying.

"It's okay," Clu was saying, "You're safe, Hal, I promise. Whatever happened, it's not real, okay. You're right here, on the Grid. Your apartment, Admin Tower, Tron City." Clu guided Hal's face to his shoulder, letting him cry into it. Just being there for him.

Later, when Hal was able to, Clu called Ed, who took the laptop into the other room and aimed the camera so they could see Sonic fast asleep and snuggled up with his favorite stuffed hedgehog. Ed assured them the Chandras were okay and commended Clu on handling the situation so well. Once the call was ended, Clu gathered Hal in his arms correctly guessing the AI didn't want to be alone, and took him back to the admin's own room. He pulled up all his memories of Radia singing to him and put it on, explaining how it always helped Clu feel better. He then wrapped his starry cloak around Hal as he lay down beside him, even singing along with Radia's sort-of lullabies, until he saw Hal drift to sleep again.

Clu whispered thanks to the ISO before he himself went back to sleep.

#I cried writing this #potential trigger warning #potentially triggering #heywood floyd sucks

[somelonelywordmonger]

This week in my intro to drawing class we have to draw 3 self portraits. But I was fired on Tuesday from a job I loved and for bullshit reasons. Last week a member of a YouTube gaming channel I love in a way equivalent to my many books died after fighting brain cancer for 2 years and I'm devastated. Grieving my job loss despite some people there being shitty. Struggling with other things and I just really hate myself right now. Like not even my appearance per se, but more just me. Everything about me. So how can I draw a self portrait, and 3 at that, when I loathe myself?

#potential trigger warning #not sure of what specifically though #vent post #mental health #experiencing a minor setback

[jasmarie2600]

Happy Birthday Princess 💖🎉

#trigger warning #potential trigger warning #animal death

[blueboobutterfly]

You ever get tired of people saying, “I want you to do more with your life!“. Have you ever thought maybe I don’t want to do more with my life? That I’m content where I am rn, and/or I’m not in the mental/financial/or whatever state to go try and achieve some dream or goal you have thought up for me? I try hard at what I do, I barely get by with the thoughts in my head. Hell I don’t like to be alone in my own head cause of the shit I think/remember. I’m trying as hard as I can to balance my ass out with what I have now, and what I can realistically do. Not what people expect of me because they have some perceived idea that I’m just not “doing enough”. I have depression, anxiety, adhd, and a shit ton of unprocessed trauma that still needs unpacking; and you want me to do more, but not understand what I’m going through? Do more, but brush off my worries and fears, my pain because I’m supposedly not looking at some bigger picture you have created for me? How the fuck is that fair to me? How the fuck is changing your mind, saying you’ll be there or you’ll support me one minute and then the next saying I’m a loser as that I have to do ‘this, this, and this’ to meet your standards. Or fucking up plans I had to further myself because it wasn’t good enough for your ideals? Fuck that. I know I’m not that great at stuff, I know I can’t try as hard as a could, I know I’m broken and I need help. But instead of letting me try and get help, you keep suffocating me by thinking you’re helping me, but you’re not! You keep pushing and pushing, expecting some grand realization where I suddenly change my entire personality and identity to fit some fantasy you thought up. Just ignoring the trauma and other mental bullshit I’m wading through to just be able to breathe.

You want to ignore my past, what I’ve done and gone through, my regrets, suffering, and heartaches because it suits your narrative. The narrative that I’m the loser, I’m the bad one, I’m the failure, and that I’m the reason you are upset and always will be. That we can’t fulfill your happiness when you haven’t even tried to find it yourself. You want us to be happy but you suffocate us with your hateful shit, your toxicity, the pressures on us and just overall idea that we need to be better - but we’ll never be better than you. We are wrong and you are right is all this will ever be to you. And no matter what, even though I still care and love you, you have hurt me so deep I can’t even begin to find when it started and if it’s going to end.

#my stuff I guess #I’m venting rn you can ignore this #personal shit #mental health #life #venting #potential trigger warning #?? maybe #it might set people off if they see my bullshit

[zerosuitsammie]

If I can take a moment to share my experience as a trans woman on the internet

My experience is by no means unique, it's just one experience in the plethora of trans feminine experiences and not unique to only tumblr. Though, I'll mostly talk about what I've experienced here. In the light of recent events, the reaction of "the ceo," and the comments he contributed regarding dog pile harassment; I simply wish to share my experiences that I have had to juxtapose the dynamic of his statements against a lived experience.

This account started as a way to document my social transition and eventually my journey with HRT. Tumblr had always had a large lgbtqia+ community. The queer people here inspired me and gave me hope. What I didn't know, but soon learned, is that there were people here who hated me for being trans. Being early in my transition I was a prime target. TERF groups would plan raids on my account. What this entailed was: rebloging my selfies into circles that would say the most vile things about me, threaten to kill, tell me I was ugly, tell me that everyone I knew thought I was a joke, I was a monster, my family hated me, that I should kill myself, they'd download and edit my photos into caricatures or depictions of violence. They would fill my ask box with hundreds of asks detailing how they'd kill me, call me slurs, describe the ways that I should kill myself, and pretty much everything else I mentioned above with the reblogs. Their words were carefully curated to try and break me, break my spirit, break my will to live. I tried reporting it. But it was impossible to keep up with, and like many others I saw no real response. Eventually I learned that I had to block all of them. 100's of blogs, eventually 1000's of blogs. My block list these days is incredibly extensive. I had to wade through their blogs, traverse sickening hate speech and imagery to eliminate entire circles of people harassing me. I became jaded to the hate speech, hardened to it. But mind you, I shouldn't have had to expose myself to all of this just to be at peace here amongst my community. I received no help, I was left to my own devices to protect myself. The people who hurt me never saw consequences. It was painful, it was unfair, and no one else should have to put the hours upon hours of effort and exposure to hate in to protect themselves like I did. But again my experience is not unique.

I have had to repeat this process of preemptive blocking periodically once a new circle discovers me. Blocking them all before they can start the process of hate all over again. A process of hate that seems to be hitting my community with rapidly increasing fervor as of late.

I've seen others experience far worse than me. The TERF circles will hunt down their personal information and doxx them. Expose their home address, telephone numbers, names of their family members. I can't begin to imagine the terror my queer siblings must feel when someone tells then that they want to murder them all while showing them that they know where you live. This is not a new thing, not a rare tactic, it happens. And we've all seen the news stories of trans people being murdered by people who planned it and were vocal about it.

I know this is depressing. And it doesn't reflect all of my experiences. I've had wonderful experiences here, met amazing people, made close friends, found inspiration, found hope. I found a community.

And it's my community, and I never want to let it go.

I do have fear that making this statement will get me banned. But, I wanted to say it. I wanted it to exist in the world so that everyone who doesn't know our experiences has a chance to understand and with luck empathize.

I'll part on these words and hope for the best both for myself and for every member of the community.

#transgender #transisbeautiful #trans #trans is beautiful #this is what trans looks like #okay to rebagel #trigger warning: transphobia #potentially triggering #trigger warning #trigger warning: description of harassment #trigger warning: description of violent harassment #trigger warning: description of suicide bating harassment #stay hopeful #stay strong #trans community #queer community #lgbtq community #spread love in the community and build each other up

[mecchantheotaku]

When it comes to Voices designs I have a lot of designs I like but there is one specific trend I am very fond of

I believe in Smol Hunted supremacy.

That is all.

#slay the princess #seriously not only does it fit with his dialogue #but it also invites so much hurt/comfort potential #I could make a whole post on that but I realised I'd have to tag a lot of trigger warnings lmao

[cypriathus]

Main protagonist of Catacombs of Whispering

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: I talk about how mental health issues and drugs affect the character. There are also a couple of brief mentions of alcoholism and coitus-related things.

Tighezorvanus Biruteslov-Ljudevoti Grostalphen is a 37-year-old happy-go-lucky and strong-willed father of two. Besides his PTSD and dyscalculia, he has dissociative identity disorder (DID) and his two identities consist of Velabhort Smekzurnova and Mulavozje Ralstenov. His DID often leaves him to be self-puzzled, out of touch with reality, separated from himself and his emotions, and depressed. He also has suicidal thoughts, noticeable memory gaps, times of confused wandering, and is stressed out by the subjective sense of having “not-him” experiences. He often has a positive outlook on the future and isn’t afraid about overcoming the hurdles that life throws at him. Due to his confidence, he puts a decent amount of trust on himself, his capabilities, and the near future. He’s got a great sense of humour and enjoys cheering people up with his jokes. He’s eager to have fun by embarrassing and playing harmless tricks on people. Tighezorvanus is fairly honest about his emotions and thoughts, but he can be quite blunt at times and ends up offending the people he’s conversing with. He’s quite friendly and energetic, which makes it easy and enjoyable for him to engage with others. As a father and a member of society, he sees it as his duty to encourage the goodness of people and help them through their misfortunes. He’s able to understand the struggles of others and tries to base his support on finding a resolution to those issues. Tighezorvanus tries his absolute best to make morally right decisions that he understands he’s fully accountable for. As per his nature, he’s not easily annoyed, worried or upset by a lot of things. He’s usually willing to give money and food as well as offer help to those in need. He also shows a palpable desire to keep those he deeply cares about safe from unexpected danger.

He’s sometimes frivolous and ends up behaving in an inappropriately light-hearted way in certain situations or not taking his responsibilities seriously. There are instances where Tighezorvanus can be quite gullible and naive. This means that he’s prone to being easily deceived by others without him realising it and doesn’t have the greatest judgement or information surrounding certain situations. He has a tendency to move or handle specific things in a careless and awkward way. This often results in him breaking items, knocking stuff over, hitting his toe on hard furniture or the corner of a door, and bumping into walls, other people or a doorframe. As a talkative individual, he finds enjoyment in conversing with others, even if it begins to genuinely annoy them. For example, he might gush about his favourite piece of media or how shitty his day was during a movie, which can understandably provoke someone’s annoyance. Sometimes he acts on a whim with little forethought, reflection or consideration of the consequences that surround his actions. Tighezorvanus is afraid of being abandoned, alone, and forgotten by those he's close with. As a result of his PTSD, he’s prone to angry outbursts and negative thoughts about himself. He’s also easily startled and has a tendency to feel emotionally numb.

Velabhort Smekzurnova is a 40-year-old serial killer and organ harvester with substance abuse issues and an insatiable bloodlust, being Tighezorvanus’ aggressive, cunning, perverted, and loud identity. He’s a lot more knowledgeable compared to Tighezorvanus, but uses that intelligence to achieve things he desires through deception. He has antisocial personality disorder, bipolar affective disorder (BPAD), and mild scopophobia (the fear of being watched). During his manic episodes, he’s abnormally upbeat and very talkative. He also has an exaggerated sense of well-being and self-confidence, and possesses poor decision-making skills. During major depressive episodes, he has inconsistent suicidal thoughts, feelings of inappropriate guilt, and the decreased ability to concentrate. Velabhort also feels empty, hopeless, and restless, and he’s uninterested in almost all of his activities. He has a strong sense of superiority and is extremely opinionated. Due to his antisocial and psychopathic nature, he’s unwilling to associate with people in a friendly way and enjoys inflicting harm on others. He’s not afraid to use physical force and dangerous weapons to hurt, injure, or kill people in order to quench his bloodlust and make him feel euphoria. As a nihilist, he rejects all known religious and moral principles, only believing that life has no meaningful purpose and every proposed value is baseless. Velabhort has no true loyalty to anyone and views that his purpose is nothing but an impulse to destroy and gain instant gratification. He shows no apparent sympathetic concern or compassion for the feelings of other people. He’s quite the boisterous paraphiliac who possesses a disturbing obsession with sex, but he sometimes tries to hide it.

Similar to Tighezorvanus, he also has a sense of humour, but it centres around making fun of ordinarily taboo subjects. He can be quite sarcastic, going out of his way to mock or insult people through irony. As a psychopath, he possesses an “empathetic switch” and usually prefers to ignore it. Velabhort primarily uses it for selfish means, but is capable of sincerely utilising his empathy to understand certain people. He tries to hide the fact that he’s addicted to ketamine, mephedrone, wine, rum, vodka, and rye whiskey. Ketamine makes him feel detached from reality, relaxed, and a sense of happiness, but it can also cause him to be easily agitated and depressed. It also alters his perception of time and space, and stop feeling physical pain. Mephedrone makes him feel chatty, very affectionate towards other people, confident, full of energy, and keen to dance. He’s also weirdly sensitive to touch and it arouses him, noticeably on edge, dizzy, and feverishly hot. Velabhort is quite familiar with Tighezorvanus and Mulavozje, but tries to ignore them because he’s in denial that they all share the same body.

Mulavozje Ralstenov is a 46-year-old moral philosopher and former psychology and biology professor with a love of books, being Tighezorvanus’ skittish, cautious, melancholic, and quiet identity. Like Velabhort, he too is quite intelligent, but he uses it for what he deems as righteous such as helping those in need. He has seasonal depression, generalised anxiety disorder, and mild claustrophobia (the fear of confined spaces) and hemophobia (the fear of blood). Due to his anxiety, he’s usually plagued with an uneasiness of the mind and a brooding fear of some possible misfortune. He overthinks the worst possible outcomes of his situations and his mind often “goes blank”, making concentration difficult. He doesn’t fully trust the goodness of humanity, only believing that people are self-centred and interested in their own capabilities. When each season has begun, Mulavozje feels as though everything is hopeless and his self-esteem is almost absent. He feels worthless and possibly uninterested in a good majority of his normal activities.

He’s a taciturn individual, mostly spending his time in places that are free from disturbances and indulging in his hobbies. He usually prefers to keep his various thoughts and ideas to himself, only speaking of them when he views it as necessary. He’s a surprisingly good listener, being able to concentrate on what others say and engage with their ideas in a thoughtful, comprehensive way. He’s prudently watchful and unwilling to take risks in order to avoid problems. He possesses a strict sense of morality, ensuring that his ego is under control and he’s following the path of righteousness. Mulavozje has a tendency to weigh up the well-being of other people in his decision-making, which helps to minimise any negative consequences. However, there are instances where he isn’t fully concerned with the consequences of his actions, which can lead to atrocious outcomes. Mulavozje is quite familiar with Velabhort, but is unaware about the existence of Tighezorvanus.

Tighezorvanus is of impressive stature than most men he’s met throughout his life, clocking in at about 6 ft (182.88 cm). He has a mesomorphic, trapezoidal body with a fairly muscular and strong build, broad shoulders, and rose beige skin. When his eyes aren’t covered by orange-tinted glasses, they’re a luscious amber with a strong yellowish and coppery tint. He has medium length surfer hair with sideburns and a soul patch goatee that’s the hue of golden copper brown. He also has acuminate abdominal hair and pecto-sternal hair that’s also a shade of golden copper brown. He has a mole on the left side of his neck, on his right cheek, and on the left side corner of his lip. Tighezorvanus has five scars located on different parts of his body. The first scar he ever received was the result of surgically removing his right kidney. The second scar is a diagonal slash that reaches from the right trapezius to the top of the left pectoralis major. He has a stab wound on the left deltoid and a long scar on the right outer thigh. Lastly, he has a very noticeable burn scar that’s covering his left forearm and hand. He has two tattoos: a watery Eastern dragon on his back; and a raven skull is engulfed in blue flames on his right upper arm. As a 49-year-old, his golden copper brown has shown signs of greying and wrinkles appear on the forehead and eyes. He has crow’s feet and his frown lines have gotten deeper and more accentuated, which indicate wrinkling.

Tighezorvanus is often seen wearing a pair of army green cargo pants that reach to his knees in spring and summer. During autumn and winter, he prefers to wear standard overalls made from navy blue denim or grey sweatpants. He dons an unbuttoned, moonstone Aloha shirt with a floral pattern of sunray and mystic maroon hibiscus flowers. Underneath his favourite Aloha shirt, he either is wearing a solid black or bone white T-shirt. There are instances where he’s wearing a China ivory Aloha shirt that has bright sun and cardinal pink hibiscus flowers. Underneath his second favourite Aloha shirt is a Persian rose T-shirt with a yellow sea, blaze orange, and electric violet sun, and cyan mountains. Depending on the season and where he’s attending, his footwear consists of hiking sandals with or without white ankle socks and traditional low-cut tangerine sneakers. He wears a hololith bracelet that’s carved from jadeite dyed a light bluish green. Hanging around his neck is a special heirloom given to him by his father, which is a silver pendant necklace with a Celtic cross. He often dons a pair of orange-tinted sunglasses, but there are instances where he wears reading glasses. He’s usually seen wearing a fanny pack that holds his reading glasses, his phone, an epinephrine autoinjector, and a lucky rabbit’s foot.

Velabhort is primarily seen wearing a buccaneer red trench coat that reaches to the middle of his calves. He also wears stiletto red fingerless gloves, weathered denim jeans, a dusty grey T-shirt, and a pair of black combat boots. Like Tighezorvanus, he often dons a pair of orange-tinted sunglasses, but he never wears reading glasses and carries around an epinephrine autoinjector. He secretly carries around brass knuckles, a butterfly knife, and a pump action rifle that he bought from the black market. He also wields a gold-plated pistol with a built-in suppressor that’s similar to the Beretta 92 called the 19th Blistering Dream. Mulavozje prefers to wear a shadow green turtleneck sweater and a pair of brown loafers. He also dons eerie black 5-pocket jeans and prefers to wear a pair of reading glasses and carry around an epinephrine autoinjector. He is commonly seen carrying books, his sketchbook with various art supplies, a pack of cigarettes, and a brass lighter that depicts a swirling jaculus. Tighezorvanus, Velabhort, and Mulavozje have smoky topaz stud earrings, a gold watch on the right wrist, and three expensive rings. They have an amethyst solitaire ring on the right index finger, a band ring on the right ring finger, and a spinel cocktail ring on the left index finger.

After the sudden disembowelment of his mother, his partially dormant psychic abilities kicked in. Despite possessing psychic abilities, he has some trouble controlling his powers. He has psychokinesis, allowing him to utilise his mental effort in order to manipulate various forms of energy and matter. He possesses enhanced strength and is capable of lifting cars, trucks, buses, moderate to large sized rocks, trains, and massive trees. However, when he uses his enhanced strength and psychokinesis after a few hours, he feels quite exhausted due to the significant strenuous activity. Due to his psychometry, Tighezorvanus is able to obtain specific pieces of information about the past of a person or object by making physical contact. When dreaming, he can enter this bleak corridor filled with multiple coloured doors and it goes on for what feels like an eternity. Within this corridor, he is able to telepathically communicate with other people or supernatural beings. He is also capable of effortlessly traversing through his dreams and gaining insight into future events. His dermo-optical perception allows him to perceive colours and differences in brightness through his own skin. Velabhort is only capable of utilising psychokinesis, enhanced strength, and psychometry, but can’t perceive colours and varying brightnesses. Mulavozje can also utilise psychokinesis and psychometry, but possesses dermo-optical perception and can’t use enhanced strength. Velabhort and Mulavozje are both unable to access the dream corridor, meaning they can’t utilise dream telepathy and precognition. They all have special blood with the left being able to produce monstrosities that only obey his orders and the right can bestow luck in fertility and prolong one’s lifespan. Tighezorvanus, Velabhort, and Mulavozje can read the thoughts and feelings of mortal beings and animals.

FAMILY:

Unnamed fraternal grandfather

Unnamed fraternal grandmother

Unnamed foster grandfather

Unnamed foster grandmother

Nelachodimus Oghilevan Grostalphen (father)

Unnamed older half-sister

Menszaroch Grostalphen (older half-brother)

Fiachtelon Grostalphen (older half-brother)

Zdruveloka Knelazovic (mother)

Ksenzrija Grostalphen (younger sister)

Mukenodria Eyndakhotius (niece)

Sinjuzola Eyndakhotius (niece)

Demaphorkus Eyndakhotius (nephew)

Azerkhombius Grostalphen (younger brother)

Emalonius Suratophine Hopkalen (fiancée)

Ymoghelanus Vjekuslowa-Bisevozurka Grostalphen (daughter)

Cimabozulen Kruneslov-Domagujilte Grostalphen (son)

ALIASES/NICKNAMES: 

Tighezo (by most people and self-proclaimed)

Tighezorna (by a few people)

Kiddo (by Nelachodimus)

Bubica (“little bug” in Croatian) (by Zdruveloka)

Bratty attention-seeker (by Menszaroch)

Daddy’s favourite (by Menszaroch)

My caramel almond (by Emalonius)

Honey pie (by Emalonius)

Lovebug (by Emalonius)

Dad (by his children)

Sensitive whore (to Velabhort) (by Elphazotius)

Cuate (“buddy” in Spanish) (by Climakho)

Mister Tighezorna (by the Whinzraste family)

Mo fhíorghrá (“my true love” in Irish) (by Idonszela)

Luchik (“sunray” in Russian) (by Oktabhrenius)

Prince Charming (to Velabhort) (by Uylshopated)

Knight In White Armour (to Mulavozje) (by Uylshopated)

Popular newcomer (by Merszalot)

Tirhejolusza (by Yndzrajet)

Tighezorsa (by Wadoszige)

Snot-nosed retard (to Velabhort) (by Zebastodi)

Wily dipshit (to Velabhort) (by Droghexusia)

Mulavoz (to Mulavozje) (by Vongazritche)

The man with golden copper hair and orange sunglasses (by Milatogrus)

My handsome candytuft (by Uyrsezola)

Clumsy ox (by Kriemogunda)

Benign hound (by Wibavoplehus)

Moronic playboy (to Velabhort) (by Lutszemoba)

Psychotic nuisance (to Velabhort) (by Lutszemoba)

Mister Grostalphen (by Poschielubzak, Gleichowaszut, and Chuslebomina)

FUN FACTS/EXTRA INFORMATION:

Tighezorvanus is heteroflexible, Velabhort is heterosexual, and Mulavozje is demiromantic asexual.

His birthday is June 19th (Gemini)

His blood type is AB-

He’s allergic to local anesthetics, insect stings, chromium, and mould.

He knows a little bit of Croatian and French.

He had a cavity on the first molar of his lower jaw, which has been replaced with a metal filling.

He has two Siberian huskies, a Cornish Rex, a ball python, and five leopard geckos. His five leopard geckos are different morphs and these are Enigma, Super Hypo, Bell Albino, Blazing Blizzard, and Raining Red Stripe. His first husky is an agouti male named Uvalonche and the second one is an orange copper female who goes by Mishvanok. His ball python is named Kiobla and his five leopard geckos go by Yamokreti (Enigma), Visjemochka (Super Hypo), Bleszafod (Bell Albino), Eprakholtus (Blazing Blizzard), and Knevazorsich (Raining Red Stripe).

His Cornish Rex, Lapemokusi, used to belong to his fiancée.

In regards to his ethnicity, he’s 25% Scottish, 25% American, 25% Russian, and 25% Croatian.

Velabhort Smekzurnova has slight feelings for Avelonthius Demilozusa Falevogur-Komtezula.

He was originally an early childhood educator, but since he moved from his home country and is looking for a new job relating to early childhood, he’s currently working at a pawn shop.

Tighezorvanus likes parties, wood sculptures, the sensation of heavy bass, natural landscapes, lunar eclipses, his vinyl record and birdhouse collections, most of his family, working in early childhood educational settings, rare and underrated video games, and hot air balloons. Velabhort likes going on killing sprees, pornography magazines, human anatomy, rare animal pelts, anime merchandise, laying on carpeted floors, crescent moons, going to underground nightclubs, oceanic views, and fish taxidermy. Mulavozje likes sleeping in, smoking, ancient human civilizations, sitting in front of a fireplace, his model car collection, keeping old tickets and bookmarks, snow globes, knitted sweaters, early fall, and overcast weather.

Tighezorvanus dislikes nosy people, horrible and janky video games, the smell of boiled eggs and fish, illegal drugs, alcohol in general, skunks, storm-chasing, mid-morning, competition, and blisters. Velabhort dislikes being watched, phlegm, bobbleheads, hand-holding, simplicity, weird kinks, hardwood floors, the rising sun, gossip, and mannequins. Mulavozje dislikes waking up early, crowded places, blood, erotica art and stories, fanfiction, frozen lakes, late winter, leeches, being touched on the chest, and baggy clothing.

Tighezorvanus’ hobbies consist of woodworking, mediation, camping, volunteering, collage making, balloon twisting, collecting vinyl records and birdhouses, and playing video games. Velabhort's hobbies consist of cruising, recreational fishing, wine tasting, watching anime, playing billiards, and collecting antique art and travel brochures. Mulavozje’s hobbies consist of sketching, knitting, baking, completing jigsaw puzzles, collecting model cars, and recording his most vivid dreams.

Tighezorvanus knows how to play the bango, but he gave it to his daughter after he lost interest.

Tighezorvanus’ favourite animals are the pine marten, bottlenose dolphin, Eurasian bittern, Gila monster, and straw-coloured fruit bat. Velabhort's favourite animals are the golden eagle, Virginia opossum, hellbender, black-footed ferret, and common snapping turtle. Mulavozje’s favourite animals are the black giant squirrel, horseshoe crab, mountain hare, Eurasian otter, and red wolf.

Tighezorvanus’ favourite flowers are the scarlet pimpernel, burnt candytuft, Rocky Mountain Columbine, oak-leaf hydrangea, and star of Bethlehem. Velabhort's favourite flowers are the hellebore, bee orchid, California poppy, coast rhododendron, and broad-leaved anemone. Mulavozje’s favourite flowers are the grape hyacinth, mountain laurel, Indian paintbrush, Spanish broom, and early purple orchid.

Tighezorvanus’ favourite comfort foods are one-pot paneer curry pie, deep-fried Mars bars, cock-a-leekie soup, pita with hummus, jalapeno poppers, and salami. Velabhort's favourite comfort foods are rollmops, hladetina, caramel shortbread, hunter’s stew, pepperoni bites, and braised short ribs. Mulavozje’s favourite comfort foods are creamy spinach and artichoke chicken skillet, carrots with garlic mayonnaise, honeycomb toffee, crème brûlée, zagorski štrukli, and clapshot.

Tighezorvanus’ favourite colours are thunderbird, sea nymph, and the hues of the hibiscus flowers on his Aloha shirt. Velabhort's favourite colours are cornflower, orange peel, granny smith apple, and the hue of his trench coat. Mulavozje’s favourite colours are rose bud cherry, shadow green, affair, and glacier.

Tighezorvanus’ biggest pet peeves are slow drivers, passive-aggressiveness, nails on a chalkboard, those who cut him in line, individuals who don’t pick up after their dogs, people giving him the silent treatment, and pet hair all over clothes, floor or furniture. Velabhort's biggest pet peeves are tapping, papercuts, slurping loudly, gum chewing, slow Internet, bumper stickers, unwanted staring and attention, sidewalk hogs, and unnecessarily crowded places. Mulavozje’s biggest pet peeves are double dipping, chewing nails, misspelling, crumbs in the butter, not resetting the microwave, and askew pictures.

Tighezorvanus took on a wide range of odd jobs in order to fund a good chunk of his college education. These odd jobs consist of being a babysitter, grocery deliverer, dog-walker, groundskeeper, bingo manager at an old age retirement home, customer service representative, tutor, and voiceover artist.

Tighezorvanus owns a 2017 Honda Civic Type R, but Mulavozje prefers to ride a bike as he’s worried about environmental sustainability.

Whenever Tighezorvanus and his alter egos listen to classical music, they fondly reminisce on their father’s love for it.

During the time Tighezorvanus and his fiancée were dating, he randomly asked her if she wanted to see him jerk off. He's still embarrassed by that and he believes that Velabhort was trying to break through at that moment.

Tighezorvanus likes to pop his back

He’s secretly a good ventriloquist

He usually prefers to prop his feet up on furniture

Tighezorvanus often takes huge bites of food

Tighezorvanus moves a fair amount when talking because he doesn’t like to simply stand there and do nothing.

He doesn’t like to admit that he has nearsightedness

He drinks a lot of soda and smoothies

He secretly likes to paint his and other people’s nails

Velabhort likes to one-up people

He’s quite suspicious of other people

He’s a functioning alcoholic

Velabhort is a control freak

Velabhort never admits when he’s wrong and gets aggressive when people confront him about his behaviour.

He likes to sit facing away from the door

He has a loud, distinctive laugh

Mulavozje likes to sit at the very end of a row (e.g. couch)

He taps his chin or strokes his nose when thinking

Mulavozje rolls his eyes a lot

Mulavozje is great at debates

He prefers home-cooked food

He frequently adjusts his sleeves or black jeans

He bobs his left foot when sitting cross-legged

He occasionally monologues, but it's often interrupted by someone near him.

Tighezorvanus’ guilty pleasure is watching or listening to anything that has cheesy elements such as motivational videos, movies, and music playlists. He only does this because it brightens up his day and makes them feel less boring. Velabhort's guilty pleasure is masturbating in the closet or shower, so he can feel “alive” and “not empty inside”. Mulavozje’s guilty pleasure is observing strangers and imagining their stories.

#writerscorner #writing #creative writing #ninth original character has been shared #protagonist #male protagonist #original character #potential trigger warning #viewer discretion is advised #personality #physical appearance #outfit #abilities #power #father #multiple personalities #drugs #he's inspired by the postal dude from the postal franchise #fun facts #extra information #part 9/10

[dollya-robinprotector]

I mentioned this on my pin post, but it won't hurt to emphasize again:

I'm very, very, VERY into INCEST, particularly adopted siblings, siblings, cousins with similar appearances, and especially twin.

Yes, you heard me right.

No, it doesn't mean I'm in love with my irl siblings or cousins, in fact my sister and I share incest fanfics together and squeal together.

No, it doesn't mean I see a pair of twin when I walk outside and immediately think they should fuck. My liking stays on fictional world only.

Yes, this is your sign to unfollow or re-check your blocked-tags list. I will use the tag cw incest, so look out for your own good.

Love ya~✨

#cw incest #you've been warned #I have a history of being witch hunted on X for my “incest” and “problematic” labled ships #I here I would ask you to kindly remove me or any potential triggered content from me out of your sight #instead of coming forward and harass me #thank you

[jtl-fics]

I once again request Math Nerd AU for WIP Wednesday 👀

WIP Wednesday: 11-8-23 (Open) | Math Nerd AU

Cass gets him settled back into bed. He can still hear Richard and Drake arguing over whether or not to call the police. He goes to the door and locks it again once Cass shuts it behind her.

He climbs back into bed and wonders if he can keep the brick as a good luck charm when they're done arguing about what to do with it. He wonders if some past foster kid is planning some revenge fantasy on Drake.

There's a tap on his window and Andrew is alert in an instant as his gaze snaps over to the wall.

#Math Nerd AU #AFTG #AFTG AU #Andrew Minyard #Trigger Warning Potential SA #Cass Spears #Drake Spears #Math Nerd - Alex - 11 #11-8-23 WIP Wednesday #WIP Wednesday Ask Game #4

[geopsych]

Lost a beautiful and graceful old walnut tree in the neighborhood today. Had to listen to it being sawed and ground up. I’ll miss it but the squirrels and birds will miss it more. 🌳😢

#potentially triggering #grief #sad #tree #walnut tree #goodbye friend #loss #trigger warning death #tw death

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one #i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking #and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped #i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format #anyways. #THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever.. #this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good. #it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen) #also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head #idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard. #whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope #im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT #ieytd #john juniper #reginald crane #junicrane #starstruck #i expect you to die #<- being BRAVE!!! #when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that #the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :( #but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah. #god im so messed up about these two #make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG..... #i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which - #- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL #GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall....... #FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga #thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry