#plus just general trauma over him losing his parents and sister and then getting a new father figure and then losing THAT guy too

[lilnasxvevo]

I usually headcanon most non-canon ships I like as childfree partially out of contrarianism (I hate when people ASSUME two people will have kids just because they’re in love) and partially because I don’t want kids and this is my house and I am here mainly to project onto fictional characters

But lawlu? Ohhhh they’re having kids. They’re HAVING kids. Law might not know it yet but they WILL be having multiple children

#cuz like here are my thoughts: #-Luffy was MADE to be a dad there’s no way he doesn’t want to be a dad he’d love it so much #-I think Law is probably conflicted about the idea of having kids bc he has. poor self-image and stuff and thinks he’d be a terrible father #plus just general trauma over him losing his parents and sister and then getting a new father figure and then losing THAT guy too #but Luffy is just like ‘You’re not gonna mess up our kids accidentally because I won’t let you. And you won’t die and leave them all alone #because I won’t let you.’ #and Law is like well. both of those promises seem pretty unrealistic. and Luffy is like but you believe me anyway. and Law is like yeah. #ALSO: #Law: obviously not NOW but like when is the timeline for. WHEN do you want kids #Luffy: uhhh I dunno. HEY SHANKS! How old were you when we met? #Shanks: Uhhh like 25? I think 25 #Luffy: Ok! Torao we’re gonna start having kids when I’m 25 ok? #Law: *is used to Luffy making decisions in questionable ways so he just accepts it*

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

If the M6 had any mental disabilities (OCD, Autism, ADHD...) What do you think they would have?

Brainrot's Arcana Essays: M6's mental health conditions

@hewwo-its-floof .... this probably isn't where your ask was heading, but here's an essay! XD I've actually been turning this concept over in my head for several months now, so you'll see what I could see each of them having but you'll also see why I haven't unpacked it much ^.^

(cropped because this is long and addresses each character)

I'm going to be totally honest and say that I'm extremely hesitant to focus on diagnosing fictional characters beyond lighthearted headcanons. From my own experience of having multiple diagnoses at different times, people and characters tend to be fairly complex in the way their nature, nurture, and mental health interact with each other. So while it's really fun and in many ways healing and validating to see our experiences and habits reflected in a loveable character, it's easy to fall into a trap of confining ourselves or a character to the diagnoses we're focusing on.

Asra, Julian, Muriel, and Lucio, for example, all have the kind of lived experiences that you could fully expect would result in CPTSD. Asra's parents disappeared while they were a young child and they experienced the extended trauma of growing up homeless on the streets. Muriel experienced that same abandonment and homelessness, and then that gets layered with his experience in the Coliseum. Julian has clear memories of the trauma of being shipwrecked, losing his parents, and trying to care for his sister as a young boy, plus the apprenticing he did as a teen treating soldiers on active battlefields. Lucio has a similar traumatic background with the amount of time he's spent in combat and the kill-or-be-killed world he grew up in. Portia doesn't have any memories before the grandmothers at Nevivon, but that doesn't erase her body's memory or the chances of second hand trauma from her closeness to her brother. Nadia didn't exactly have an easy childhood, but we aren't aware of any traumatic incidents before adulthood.

All that to say, there's multiple ways to interpret behavior that reflects a mental condition that doesn't match what's considered "normal." Asra can seem ADHD coded - we've seen them fixate on curious puzzles, completely zone out and forget what they're doing, and turn their living space into a cozy state of chaos. That looks a lot like ADHD! But, that could also be the trauma coping mechanisms of someone who likes to live with the luxury of having a space covered in their things without fear of them being removed, or focusing solely on things that make their brain happy in an unpredictable world. Or maybe Asra's just a naturally curious person who finds chaos comforting and spends a lot of time in their own head. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above feeding into each other in different ways!

The same goes for the other three - does Muriel like a more isolated lifestyle because of the trauma from crowds in the Coliseum? Does he like to keep his own heavily guarded space and set routines from living on the streets? Or are those autistic traits, seeking out a space that isn't overstimulating and doesn't require masking? How much of that is natural introversion and a general preference for calm, ordered spaces? He could be a combination of some or all of those things, but he's still himself regardless. If we were to focus on just one, we'd risk leaving the rest to fade into the background.

Julian has one of the stories in which MC plays a very direct role in addressing his mental health. He depends on them heavily to help him find new purpose and a new way to live. You could almost say that MC helps "fix" him, but this doesn't involve losing a lot of the things that make him so messy - it mostly involves helping him dial it back enough so that it's no longer unhealthy. (for example - he drinks as a coping mechanism, but the solution isn't for him to never touch alcohol again. he still drinks and has a fun time, it's his need to self-isolate and self-destruct that really needed to be addressed) He can still be loud and flamboyant and entertaining without having to pin his worth on how much validation he gets from it. Could those super high highs and low lows be signs of bipolar disorder? Maybe, but whether it is or not, Julian's wide range of emotional expression is core to who he is.

Lucio is his own special case (I mean, the story starts out with him as the villain). The plot of his route is his transformation. It could be easy to read narcissism into a lot of his behavior, and if that's a diagnosis his character was built around, it would make sense! It could also be easy to argue that his tendency to idolize himself is a response to growing up in a world where he had no control and felt constantly unsupported and ignored. But the focus isn't on bashing how he sees himself as much as it is on teaching him accountability around what he does with that. Lucio at the end of his story still has a sizeable ego, still sees himself as a protagonist, and has no qualms about being good enough for MC. However, he's gained experience acknowledging his own flaws and mistakes and it's enabled him to seek out a fresh start.

We could unpack Portia and Nadia too - is Portia's super competence and hard working nature born out of the pressure to be strong and steady for her traumatized older brother? Did that cause the hyper responsibility that kept her adventurous spirit in Nevivon way past her childhood? Does her annoyance with her older brother's struggles come out of frustration at never being able to process her own difficulties in favor of playing therapist for everyone else? Are her loudly cheerful attitude, tendency to fill her day with work, and love of escaping into books all masking techniques for chronic depression? Maybe all of that is true, but it's accompanied by a conscious decision to be optimistic and a genuine love of caring for other people.

We could speculate about the source of Nadia's insecurities for hours - what did her old dynamic with Lucio look like? Where did her hesitance to get involved and try to fix a broken system come from? What caused someone with such a focused personality to make firm decisions and express deep doubts at the same time? Does her quest for influence come from a desire to implement improvements or a need for control? Maybe her love of precision, good omens, and controlled environments are a result of OCD, or maybe she's just discovered what it's like to have her confidence shaken and this is what it looks like to move forward.

I've processed my own share of eating and mental disorders, dysphoria, neurodivergence, disability, and trauma. Some of my diagnoses only lasted several months, others took decades to work past, and a few of them I know will be with me for the rest of my life. They help explain a lot of how I function, experience the world, and interact with others as a person. But those conditions and experiences are only part of the amalgamation that makes me who I am, who I've been, and who I'm becoming. I don't care to completely define myself by certain parts when the sum of who I am is what's going to decide my story, and I like extending that mindset to the stories, people, and characters I interact with as well.

I hope that makes sense, and sorry for the unexpected essay!!

Cheers, friend -

brainrot

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

[yabai-korra]

Eris getting some of Nesta's powers and his importance in the future

Y'all I'm 90% sure some of Nesta's power has been transferred to Eris, at first it occurred to me in a sort of "ha, could be" way but I'm pretty certain, hear me out! Also going to touch on the subject of Nesta not losing her powers completely.

The power in the dagger

Nesta Made the dagger and put some of her own power into it, and then Eris got that dagger as a present by Inner Circle, which wasn't really a necessary scene nor plot point unless you read between the lines.

KINGDOM OF ASH SPOILERS AHEAD!

We have seen the exact same thing in Kingdom Ash, Aelin lost all of her power but an ember, but beforehand put it in her sword Goldryn and whooped Maeve's ass, actually head lol, with it. Having power shoot out of her hands and her sword felt pretty much the same so I'm sure Nesta will be equally powerful in the next book! Not only does she have a bit of her power left, three weapons filled with her power, and the Dread Trove. Nesta is still the most powerful character 😎

If Nesta can put some of her power into a weapon, it doesn't seem like a stretch at all for the power in the weapon to get out and into a person.

Eris only pretended to be influenced by Koschei

This one was kinda obvious to me from the moment I read it, no psychoanalyzing needed.

Nesta and her weapons were said to "probably" grant immunity from Koschei's power because they were both Made, and Eris had the dagger while he when he was captured.

Every person that has been possessed by Koschei has been said to have glassy eyes, EVERYONE except Eris!

Eris's soldiers had glassy eyes.

Bellius had glassy eyes.

Cassian had glassy eyes.

Eris is the only "possessed" person to get "accidentally" caught.

Eri's soldiers said nothing, and it was Briallyn who reveal that Bellius and Cassian were possessed.

Out of Cassian, Bellius, Eris, and his soldiers, Eris is undoubtedly the slickest and most cunning one. Comparison between him and Cassian has been dragged throughout the whole book, while Cassin is the muscle, Eris plays mind games and politics.

ERIS IS THE MASTER AT WORD GAMES! How did Cass and Az realize he was possessed and therefore Koschei being there? THROUGH ERIS USING A WORD GAME he knew only Cass and Az will pick up on.

Are y'all trying to tell me that Eris, who supposedly had immunity from the Koschei's power, didn't show the only sign of being possessed which is glassy eyes, had accidentally said something that will let Cass and Az know he's "possessed"?

Golden flames

The word "flame" has been used in 4 different contexts throughout the book

a) actual fire in the fireplace

b) silver flames in Nesta's eyes

c) flames in Lucien's eyes

d) flames in Eris's eyes

We know that Autumn Court's power is fire, both Lucien and Eris were described to have red flames in their eyes, which is completely expected right?

Eris was said to have flame/red flame multiple times, but I'm only allowed ten pics per post, and obviously not gonna put quotes of Nesta's silver flames cause it's literally the title lol.

Then, when Eris was "possessed" and held a dagger to Cassian's chest, it was said that flame rippled from it, and Cass didn't know if it came from the dagger itself or from Eris.

My guess? Both or combined! When Eris received the dagger, he said that it has flame in it, and Eris is said to have had flames in his eyes previously.

Last but not least, AFTER Eris had been "possessed" and AFTER the dagger was returned to the Night Court, ERIS NOT LONGER HAS RED FLAME IN HIS EYES, BUT GOLD.

This was in the penultimate chapter! Aka the chapter before the last. SJM always takes great care to put something important or foreshadowish at the end of each book. The last chapter was obviously Nessian and Archeron sisters, since it was the Nessian book and the three sisters are all finally happy together (plus announcing the next book as Elain's) but chapter before that... about Eris? Interesting.

There was so much about him there I for a second thought the next book is going to be about him lol. So much to unpack in that chapter:

Eris was tortured by his father for information (which I think is the hint for Eris not being possessed).

Eris still insists there are some things about him and Mor that Mor hasn't told the Inner Circle.

He wants to explain something to Mor.

He obviously just wants to be friends with the Inner Circle (but that's a discussion for another post).

Cassian, who hates Eris with burning passion throughout the whole book, says he thinks Eris is a good guy, but is too much of a coward to act like it.

It was hinted that Beron did much worse things to Eris during his life, "The male had been raised with every luxury and privilege - on paper. But who knew what terrors Beron had inflicted upon him? Cassin knew Beron had murdered Lucien's lover. If the High Lord of Autumn had been willing to do that, what wouldn't he do?" If you ever read any SJM serials you would know that this wasn't put here just because, it's always foreshadowing with her.

"Because it doesn't add up. You know what a monster your father is and want to usurp him; you act against him in the best interests of not only the Autumn Court but all of the faerie lands; you risk your life to ally with us... and yet you left her in the woods." - Cassian. Do you see all the material for the future book?

"Eris crossed his arms, then winced. As if whatever injuries lay beneath his immaculate clothes ached." I THINK THIS IS A DESCRIPTION OF NOT ONLY ERIS'S CURRENT SITUATION, BUT HIS WHOLE LIFE. As Cass said, born in luxury, raised by a monster.

Eris is generally very fucked up? Not only was it in this last chapter, but it was stated multiple times that his upbringing really damaged him. When Cassian was surprised by the fact Beron tortured him, Eris responded with: "Get that pitying look off your face. I know what sort of creature my father is. I don't need your sympathy." That is an extremely fucked up way to respond to being tortured by one's father, and implicates he was subjected to similar misery earlier in his life.

"Nesta could see he didn't believe them - that he was so used to twisted politics and scheming of his court that even when the simple, easy truth was offered, he could not see it." Again, very messed up mindset, which in the author's language means writing material.

The last line said to Eris in the book is: "Eris was still their ally. Was willing to be tortured to keep their secrets. And Cassian didn't need to be a courtier to know his next words would slice deep, but it would be a necessary wound. Perhaps it would be enough to push him in the right direction. "You know, Eris, I think you might be a decent male, deep down, trapped in a horrible situation." He looked over his shoulder to find Eris's gaze blazing again. But only pity stirred in his chest, pity for a male who has been born into riches, but had been destitute in every way that truly mattered. In every way Cassian had been blessed - blessings that were now overflowing. So Cassian said; "I grew up surrounded by monsters. I've spent my existence fighting them. And I see you, Eris. You're not one of them. Not even close. I think you might even be a good male. You're just too much of a coward to act like it." This was said by Cassian, whom Eris insulted every time they interacted, who hurt his sister, who wanted to steal his mate, whom Cassian said he wanted to kill or leave to die on so so many occasions, who made Cassian feel stupid and insecure every chance he had, and yet Cass of all people found it in his big good heart to see the good in Eris and try to push him to be good.

And now, his eyes burn with golden flames.

There is so so much to unpack and reveal about Eris's character, and SJM couldn't be more obvious with pointing it out. He is definitely going to play a huge role in the next book(s). With his possible new powers, overthrowing Beron, healing from all the emotional and physical trauma inflicted upon him, revealing a lot of secrets he's been keeping, and finding a way to show his true colors.

Also I think Nesta might be the one to help him with it because she at some point says that she deserves to marry him because "she is just like him", and not only in a way that they both insulted Cassian. They both had/had demanding parents which made them cold and unfeeling, preferring to appear as assholes because they don't want and don't know how to be their true kind selves. I think she would a great friend and the best person to help him deal with everything.

And the way Eris obviously likes her which we've seen when they were dancing. How he saw that she really liked spinning around so he went out of his way to spin her on multiple occasions even though it wasn't in the dance protocol. I'm pretty sure that was his way of getting closer to her because he obviously can't do it with words.

#eris vanserra #eris #acosf #a court of silver flames #acotar #acotar theory #nesta #nesta archeron #cassian #lucien vanserra #beron vanserra #wow this turned out way longer than anticipated #i love eris so much #i want him and nesta being friends #and him being a dog dad he is #sjm #sarah j maas #pro sjm

[tf2-hellhole]

MERCS having nightmares and their s/o is just their for them because damnit they need love and support to-

I kind of imagined that this is the first time the mere had a nightmare while sharing a bed with their S/O

I kept in mind that you shouldn’t wake someone from a nightmare unless they’re moving so much they could hurt themselves.

Scout:

When he has nightmares, they’re usually about his childhood bullies coming for him and hurting him. They don’t happen very often.

He shifts a lot during a nightmare, and he sometimes mutters things like “Please…” or “Leave me alone…”. So they’re not super intense, and they’re not enough to wake up his S/O.

But he eventually does wake up on his own. He sits up with a whimper and tries to stop trembling, but he can’t. He doesn’t want to wake up his S/O, but eventually gives in and nudges them awake.

“Scout? What’s wrong?” they ask while looking up at him. He doesn’t answer, he just lies down against them, throws an arm over their stomach, and nuzzles into their neck with a sniffle. They can feel his hot tears against their skin. They cuddle him close and kiss his cheek. After a short while they can feel his shaking fade, and he falls asleep again soon after.

Soldier:

Soldier has PTSD from his time in Europe. It obviously doesn’t affect him in battle, but it sometimes has an effect on the domestic parts of his life. Obviously he wasn’t a part of the military but he was often in or near American bases and camps anyway. Around once every two weeks, he has vivid nightmares about seeing the dead American soldiers bodies being carried away, or soldiers on the edge of death crying out in pain as they lay in the dirt.

When in a nightmare, he usually just balls his fists and mutters softly, so it doesn’t wake up his S/O either.

But at some point, he’ll jolt upright with a loud yell, which startles his S/O awake too. He freezes up in terror until he feels his S/O’s hands on his shoulder and cheek, and hears their worried cries. He looks up at them for a moment before pulling them close. His S/O never forgets the look of fear in his eyes after a nightmare; it’s the only time he’s ever scared of anything.

They sit up for a while with the lights on to let him calm down, while his S/O comforts him and strokes his back. After 10-15 minutes, he slowly crawls back into bed and holds his S/O to his chest for comfort.

Pyro:

Pyro had some sort of traumatic experience with fire when they were young that scarred a lot of their skin. They never explain what the incident was or how they were hurt to their S/O, and they politely don’t push for Pyro to share. They have nightmares about it every once in a while.

They toss and turn a lot and accidentally wake up their S/O, but they’re not moving around enough for them to have to wake Pyro. It hurts to have to watch them writhe in the sheets and whimper softly.

The eventually wake up on their own. They sit up, and their S/O can hear them crying in their mask. Pyro turns to them, and the moment they realize their S/O is awake, they practically throw themselves on top of them and bury their head in their chest.

Pyro needs a lot of cuddles and kind words for them to calm them enough to even try to sleep again. They eventually do like an hour later, but they need their S/O wrapped around them to feel safe enough.

Demo:

Demo has nightmares about a lot of things, but most involve his family. He nightmares are often about his parents and the harsh way they would treat him. Sometimes they’re also about losing his S/O and his mother (despite the way his mother treats him, he still loves her dearly). And every once in a while, they’re about when he lost his eye as a kid.

He mutters a lot when he’s having a nightmare and squirms every once in a while, but it’s not enough to wake his S/O. Eventually he jolts awake with tears stinging his eyes. He reaches over to gently touch his S/O’s hand until they wake up.

He waits until they sit up to pull them into a tight hug and explains what happened. His voice is breaking when he explains what he saw. His S/O grabs him some tissue and sits with him until he finally calms down and gives them a weak but appreciative smile. He’ll probably try to calm his nerves with alcohol, but he doesn’t protest if his S/O stops him

He needs his S/O to spoon him for him to fall back asleep. If the dream was particularly bad he’s not going to be able to fall back asleep, so he asks his S/O if they can stay up to cuddle and watch TV until morning.

Heavy:

Out of all of the mercs, he’s definitely one of the guys that is most prone to nightmares. He has nightmares about his father’s death. He didn’t actually see his father’s execution, so he dreams about what his last hours must have been like. He also has nightmares about losing the people he cares about. It’s canon that he has nightmares about losing Medic, but he also sees the loss of his S/O, his sisters, or his mother. He has nightmares fairly often.

One wouldn’t be able to tell he’s having a nightmare unless they’re looking really closely. He furrows his brow and might mutter softly from time to time, but that’s it. Obviously this doesn’t wake his S/O.

He wakes up on his own. He’s not crying or anything, but he’s very shaken up. He carefully and slowly gets up while trying not to wake his S/O, but lifting his weight off the bed wakes them up anyway. If they get up to see what’s wrong he’ll try to gently push them back down but they refuse to.

They’ll sit up with him and ask him if he needs anything. He says no but pulls them into a hug. They can feel that he’s shaking a little.

He knows he’s not going to go to sleep again that night so he makes himself a sandwich (his S/O offers to do it but he insists on making it himself) and stays up reading with his S/O cuddled to his side.

Engie:

Engie doesn’t have regular nightmares due to any trauma but he does sometimes have random nightmares as a result of stress. They don’t happen very often.

During a nightmare he generally moves vary little, but he might lash out. He’s not gonna pull force punch what’s in front of him, but he’s probably gonna whack his S/O’s arm in his sleep, which wakes them up. His S/O sits up to make sure he doesn’t whack anything hard and hurt his hand.

He wakes up on his own with a little jolt and a shaky gasp. He looks up at his S/O and apologizes a ton when he realizes that he’d woken them. They tell him he doesn’t need to apologize and pull him close. He sniffles softly as he leans into the comforting hug and wraps his arms around his S/O’s waist.

The nightmares never shake him up too badly, so he can fall back asleep easier than the other mercs, but he does need contact with his S/O to be comfortable enough to fall asleep. He probably spoons them (or gets spooned) or pulls them to his chest with their face against his chest.

Medic:

You wouldn’t think Medic gets nightmares, but he does on rare occasions. They are caused by a combination of stress and childhood trauma. Like I’ve mentioned in the past, I headcanon that Medic’s parents were aristocrats who were very neglectful of him. To them, he was their annoying little heir and nothing else. He sometimes has nightmares about how cruelly his parents would treat him; They never beat him but they would often withhold food or his belongings and berate him if he misbehaved.

Medic talks a lot during nightmares. It quickly wakes his S/O and they hear his side of the conversation with his parents. He is pleading with his parents for food or his belongings, all in German. Even if his S/O doesn’t speak it, they can tell what’s going on by the tone of his voice.

They can tell he’s woken up when he goes quiet and they hear a sniffle from his curled up form. They lean over him and softly call his name. He doesn’t move or say anything, so his S/O just lays back down and rubs his arm to comfort him. 

He eventually flips over to face them and softly whispers, “Liebling?” to see if they’re still awake. When they look up at him, he just scoots closer and wraps them in his arms. He apologizes for ignoring them, he was just shaken up and had needed a moment. He doesn’t fall asleep that night, he just cuddles his S/O.

Sniper:

Sniper, like Heavy, is very prone to nightmares. They vary wildly in what they’re about. Sometimes he has nightmares about being caught by a Spy, or the death of his parents, or being shot in New Zealand, or losing the only person he has left, his S/O. On rare occasions they’re also about the children who would bully and beat him in school. He’s one of the mercs who’s had the most emotional trauma, so that plus stress gives him nightmares very often, sometimes a few times a week.

Sniper trembles a lot when he’s having a nightmare, but it’s not enough to wake his S/O up yet. After a while the nightmare wakes him, and it shook him up so badly that he has to sit up and rub his face while trying to slow his breathing. He tries to sit up slowly but the movement of the mattress wakes his S/O anyways. They sit up and ask what’s wrong. He only says, “Just a nightmare, nothing to worry about.” If they ask if he wants to talk about it, he shakes his head.

He’s pretty shaken, so he has to sit up for a while. His S/O just sits with him quietly, rubbing his back with one hand and holding his hand with the other. He knows he’s not going to be able to go back to sleep, but he still lays down and pull his S/O onto his chest to cuddle them until they fall asleep. Even though he won’t sleep, feeling their warm body on top of his still makes him feel a lot better.

Spy:

Spy would never ever admit it but he has nightmares every once in a while. They’re sometimes about his early years as an assassin, but they’re often about losing the people he loves. They’re often about his enemies finding out about his S/O, Scout, and Scout’s ma (he is no longer attracted to Scout’s ma but he still cares deeply for her) and taking them to torture or kill them.

He doesn’t move or anything during a nightmare, but after a while he jolts awake. He immediately rolls over to check if his S/O is next to him, and lets out a sigh of relief when he sees them curled up in the blanket. He slowly gets up and leaves the bedroom to have a smoke; He growls in frustration when he notices how much his hands are shaking when he tries to light the cigarette.

But after a minute, his S/O walks out of the bedroom, rubbing their eyes and yawning. They had been slowly woken up by Spy rolling over to check on them, slow enough that he didn’t realize they were waking up. Spy tells them to go back to bed, but they approach him to ask what’s wrong only for him to turn towards them and coldly repeat himself. He immediately regrets what he’s done when he sees the offended look on their face, but doesn’t say anything when they hiss “Fine,” in response and go back into the bedroom.

He feels bad about being rude, but he doesn’t go back to apologize until that morning. He spends the rest of the night reading and smoking to get his mind off the nightmare.

#tf2 #teamfortress2 #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 headcanons #tf2 imagines #tf2 x reader #tf2 x s/o #tf2 x y/n

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Head Case (S2, E6)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:03 - This clip of Malcolm in the car is from the pilot episode. I was so betrayed by this clip. Full disclosure - I’ve always had a thing for Malcolm’s jacket from the pilot episode. I just love it and I think Tom Payne looks cute in it. BUT - I was betrayed because Malcolm isn’t wearing my favourite jacket in the next scene (I was disappointed but not surprised). Rant about wardrobe over. 

0:20 - This is weird to me. In the clip right before this, when Malcolm was coming to Claremont (wearing the awesome jacket) - Malcolm is clearly in emotional distress. He’s not in a good mood. BUT right here, when Malcolm is chatting with Mr. David he seems like he’s in a good mood. Not one of his manic good moods - just a regular good one.

0:32 - Anyone else notice how visibly uncomfortable Jessica AND Malcolm are? This whole Ainsley situation is literally going to destroy them both. :(

0:34 - sooooo Mr. David knows by now right? He has to? ALSO when the European FBI guy shows up in a few episodes this is going to be bad for Malcolm and Jessica right? The FBI guy will probs talk to Mr. David who will be like - oh yeah, they’ve had more ‘family meetings’ in the past 6 months than in the past 20 years. 

1:22 - Sooooo this whole family honestly thinks Ainsley’s going to become a serial killer. From the tidbits of her childhood that we’ve seen, the way she treated Malcolm in Q&A, and generally how she acts when she wants to get a story - I’m not surprised. Read my thoughts on older episodes (1x7, 1x20, 2x5), I’ve always thought Ainsley was a sociopath or psychopath. The girl doesn’t show a lot of moral backbone or sympathy for anyone. 

1:33 - Wait. Does this montage of Malcolm’s erratic behaviour mean that Malcolm killed someone as a kid? And doesn’t know it? Or is this just a reference to the whole ‘girl in the box’ trauma arc from last season?

1:44 - “I wish I didn’t know that you were a killer.” Anyone else get major flashbacks to the movie Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause? “I wish I had never become Santa at all” then we get an AU for 40 mins? Just me? Cool - excuse my bad taste in Christmas movies. 

1:50 - hahaha Martin is so bitter.

2:25 - You know, as much as I love to hate Martin - he has a point. Malcolm loved his Dad (still does whether he wants to admit it or not) in 98′ - why is Malcolm chill with Ainsley killing but not Martin? Is it because with Martin, he found a poor girl tortured in a box but with Ainsley he saw her kill a man that was threatening their family? Or was it because Martin tried to kill Malcolm but Ainsley hasn’t (yet?) **honestly - that would be such an interesting episode - if Ainsley tries to kill Malcolm**

2:33 - THANK YOU. Someone finally thanks Malcolm for trying to protect Ainsley (and in extension Jessica) from the emotional trauma he’s been dealing with since the age of 10. EVEN THOUGH PROTECTING THEM IS MAKING HIS MENTAL STATE WORSE. Seriously - Malcolm is going to snap soon I honestly won’t be surprised if we get some suicidal ideation from him this season (especially if things don’t improve). Look at those big sad puppy dog eyes when Jess thanks him.

2:38 - hahahaha that side-eyed glare directed at Martin. 

2:53 - I know Jessica had good intentions here - she’s trying to protect both of her children but honestly, this whole interaction was probably super upsetting for Malcolm. Think about it - BOTH of his parents haven’t tried to have a serious discussion with him at the same time since he was at 10 years old or younger. This interaction is probably bringing up some memories for Malcolm and making him grieve for the childhood he lost all over again. 

3:06 - “You’re gross.” followed by a very regal wave at Mr. David. YES. Queen Jessica. <3

3:25 - Malcolm startling JT is pretty freaking cute. Look at how JT’s expression immediately changes from startled to concerned. I don’t blame him. Malcolm gives off major manic energy in this scene. The visit with the parents did not leave him in a good place. Also - Malcolm straight up admitted that he’s had a ‘rough morning’ this boy almost never tells the truth when he’s struggling. He’s fine. He’s always fine. 

3:30 - “Rough month.” IS THIS IT? IS THIS ALL I’M GOING TO GET? JT had a baby THREE EPISODES AGO. ‘rough month’ is a reference to the fact that he’s a new dad and he’s struggling with lack of sleep, leaving Tally alone with the baby while he’s a work, being a good husband, adjusting to dad life, ect. RIGHT?!? We’ve literally had no mention of the baby since 2x3 and I’m losing my mind. I just want someone to say, “Hey JT, how’s the baby?” that’s it. I want 5 seconds of dialogue. Just an acknowledgment that the child exists. 

3:54 - “Sooo bring me up to speed.” OMG. That smile is both extremely manic and completely adorable. Seriously - why is no one on the team more concerned about Malcolm during this episode? AND WHERE THE EFF IS EDRISA IN THIS SCENE?!? We’ve been robbed. 

4:21 - “What? I liked math class.” OMG. JT is a closet math nerd. You can’t take this headcanon away from me. 

4:24 - hahahaha look at Malcolm absorbing the new information about JT. He’s like.....yes. I will keep that information for later. Very good. Will pry further. 

5:04 - I love Dani. She’s perfect. She can see that Malcolm just checked out into his own horror of a memory. So she gently teases him to bring him back to reality. <3 This is true friendship. <3

6:00 - Was I the only one who thought it was weird that Gil asked Malcolm to help with the canvasing? Like - doesn’t Malcolm always help? Isn’t that part of what he does to build his profile?

6:12 - “KGB agent” Yes. Malcolm is still annoyed that Ainsley was so competitive about a literal murder last episode. I promise you. Ainsley’s probably still annoyed too. 

6:26 - This is why Malcolm is considering telling Ainsley the truth. He’s already losing her. May as well rip off the band-aid. She might not react as badly finding out from him as she would finding out by herself.

6:51 - “That is my vagina.” hahahahaha OMG. As a woman I must say: HOW?!?! As someone who adores JT:  hahahahahahahaha OMG. 

7:23 - “You’re getting a lot of mileage out of that tidbit”. lol. JT gently teasing Malcolm is one of my favourite things. Hands down. Especially since they’ve reached a point in their friendship where Malcolm doesn’t seem scared or offended when JT makes fun of him. They’re acting like brothers and I LOVE IT. <3

7:25 - “That’s the tip of the iceberg my man.” I have no idea why I am so amused by someone calling Malcolm “my man” but I am. 

7:36 - “The Bowery Ripper” hahaha the look that JT and Dani exchange when Malcolm starts nerding out.

8:00 - Wendell is kind of creepy. But like a weird, non-threatening creepy?

8:22 - OMG. JT let the vagina sculpture go. hahaha Look at how grossed out Dani is hahahaha she’s like, “Ugh. Men are gross.”

8:30 - This is why I love JT. He knows that that elevator is sketchy as hell. Plus it’s some (less than subtle) foreshadowing for what’s to come in this episode. 

8:41 - How did Dani find out he was at Claremont?! Does Mr. David call Gil every time Malcolm visits?!? ......this is my new headcanon. You will have to pry it from my cold dead hands. 

9:00 - This is a really cute moment between Dani and Malcolm. Regardless of whether or not you ship Brightwell - it’s really sweet to see Malcolm interacting so honestly with someone. He’s telling Dani the truth about something and she’s not making him feel bad about how messed up his family is or how weird his situation is. She just listens and teases him to make him smile. That is a good friend. IDC how you feel about Brightwell - right now - this is a GOOD FRIEND moment and Malcolm deserves more of them. 

9:10 - Annnnnnndddd this is why Brightwell shouldn’t happen (right now). Dani is still hurt that Malcolm doesn’t trust her enough to tell her everything. She still doesn’t completely trust him after what happened last season. A romantic relationship without 100% trust will fail. End of story. They’re great friends but right now they can’t be in a romantic relationship. It’ll end poorly. (Damn, I hope Brightwell is endgame though).

9:38 - hahaha Greta Swan is a perfect comedic relief for the Dani/Malcolm tension we just witnessed. This girl is a little nuts and a lot funny. 

10:00 - “Dad’s lived here his whole life” - wow. The writers really left us some big bread crumbs. We go from the scene where someone mentions a serial killer who killed someone (who was abducted from this hotel) in 1963. THEN we find a strange, gossipy woman and her grumpy father who has lived there his whole life. Coincidence? Nah. 

10:17 - SERIOUSLY?!? The Whitly home is ENORMOUS. WHY IS JESSICA LETTING AINSLEY WORK IN THE MURDER BASEMENT?!?!?! We literally just found out that Jessica has a SOLARIUM somewhere in this house. 

10:40 - “The guy definitely seems like he kills people.” Oh the irony here. 

10:55 - “Are you upset with me?” This is soft and I love it. Malcolm is being vulnerable with his little sister and it warms my heart. 

11:07 - “Insomnia sucks.” “Who knew?” Again. Irony. 

11:18 - “Anything you want to talk about?” This is precious. Malcolm loves Ainsley SO FREAKING MUCH. He has major Dad/Big brother/concerned school counsellor energy here and I’m here for it. 

11:38 - Malcolm’s soooo going to replay this conversation in his head about a million times. He’s going to blame himself for Ainsley’s murder victim of this episode. He’s going to play the “what-if” game. What if - he told her the truth here? Would she still have killed someone tonight? 

11:52 - Look at Ainsley’s face here. She seems sort of confused and comforted? Like maybe the fractions of memories that she’s admitting to having are making her believe that she killed Endicott and it scares her. Malcolm telling her otherwise is probably comforting on some level. It’s helping her convince herself that she’s done nothing wrong. 

12:25 - According to IMDB - this isn’t the episode LDP directed SO WHY IS THERE SO LITTLE GIL CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE?!?!?!

12:27 - What the hell is the puddle on the floor btw? Is it paint? Tar? Blood? I thought construction hadn’t started on the hotel yet?

14:14 - Malcolm. You. Are. A. Moron. Why go towards the creepy elevator that opened by itself? Why did you think that was a good idea?

14:29 - The Bowery Ripper is pretty strong for an old guy. I mean, Malcolm isn’t that big and he was caught off guard but still.

14:38 - I wanted this scene to be reality SO SO BADLY. I don’t even care about the Brightwell interaction in this scene. Malcolm is on a hospital bed. With an ice pack. I could’ve watched 45 minutes of “Malcolm in the hospital” content. The fact that this boy didn’t spend longer than a 30 second scene in the hospital is a CRIME. Why does Fedak hate giving us the whump aftercare?!? WHY?!?! Doesn’t he know like half the fandom LIVES FOR IT?!?

14:40 - You know how I knew this was the start of Malcolm’s AU dream? 2 reasons: 1) Dani has her hand on the ice pack on Malcolm’s head, even though he totally doesn’t need her help to hold the ice pack to his head. 2) GIL ISN”T HERE. .....although this episode did us dirty with the lack of Gil content (I miss Papa!Gil so much)

14:46 - There’s something about dream JT. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Real and dream JT are almost identical. But dream JT seems to be more open with Malcolm? IDK - he’s more relaxed around Malcolm? I can’t quite describe it. Did anyone else notice that there was just something a little bit different about dream JT? Not even in a bad way. Just different. 

15:15 - “Noooo she said it could’ve been worse. Not the same.” hahaha YES DANI. Good looking out. Call out this boy for neglecting his health. 

15:24 - This whole scene where Dani and Malcolm do a joint interrogation was awesome. They were talking pretty fast which I found a little distracting but JT said it best, “They were on FIRE”.  One thing I REALLY liked about the scene was the dynamic between Dani and Malcolm. Neither one of them was really taking a lead in the interrogation. They were equal partners and I think that says a lot about Malcolm’s romantic desires. He doesn’t want to dominate anyone. He doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. He just wants someone he can trust and respect. Someone who will trust and respect him. He wants a partner. An equal partner. I think that’s a really healthy desire for anyone in search of a relationship. 

16:12 - an affair? Did we know that Lyle and/or Katrina were married?!? If they weren’t married it would just be a relationship. Not an affair. 

17:01 - Is this honestly the first time Dani has called Malcolm by his first name? In 26 episodes? It must be right? Because I swear I was so shocked my heart skipped a beat (also my Brightwell heart melted but that’s a whole different thing). 

17:06 - .....so in Malcolm’s dream does he still work for Major Crimes? Is JT running the department? I need some more details here. 

17:12 - Soft!JT <3 <3 <3 How cute is it that in Malcolm’s AU dream, JT (and Dani) don’t actually change (in terms of personality). Their roles in his life just intensify. Dani becomes his significant other and JT becomes a much closer friend/brother. It’s precious. <3 <3 <3 

17:52 - Something about the fact that Jessica isn’t drinking liquor in the AU is hilarious and depressing to me. It’s funny because, well, it just tickles me. It’s depressing because Malcolm understands that Jessica drinks to dull the pain. In this AU, she isn’t in pain. She’s happy. Therefore, she doesn’t need alcohol. I don’t know about you but the fact that Malcolm’s subconscious wanted his mom to be happy so badly that she became (more or less) sober - is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. 

18:11 - “No one in this family is scared of a little blood right?” The irony here is THICK.

19:23 - The fact that Ainsley is a doctor just like Martin in Malcolm’s AU is terrifying and hilarious. This whole “I watched Ainsley kill a man” thing is really destabilizing Malcolm’s questionable mental health.

19:27 - “Please Ainsley is the talented one. I’m a distance second.” ....does this mean that Endicott isn’t the first person Ainsley has killed? Does this mean subconsciously Malcolm somehow thinks that Ainsley is a better serial killer than Martin?

19:56 - “No phones at dinner okay?” Something about the way Martin is looking at Malcolm at this moment and Martin’s tone of voice made me think - “Shit. Martin’s still a serial killer in Malcolm’s AU.” Especially since they Ainsley literally just announced to the room that he’s getting a from Claremont. 

20:06 - Yep. That’s a nightmare. From the back, Claremont!Gil probably looked like Martin circa mid-2010s for Malcolm. 

20:09 - Look idc who you ship on this show. But I will fight you if you don’t think that Malcolm being comforted after a nightmare by someone he loves is the sweetest thing ever. Look at how Dani gently rubs his arm and back. Ugh. This is the kind of safety Malcolm DESERVES. 

20:43 - Dani lying on Malcolm’s chest. <3 It just makes me so happy. Not even necessarily because it’s Dani (although I do ship Brightwell as end game) but because Malcolm’s subconscious is showing us his ideal relationship and we don’t see anything wild or questionable - we just see G-rated cuddling. And damn if that doesn’t say a lot about how much Malcolm just wants to be loved. 

20:53 - .......Can we have a full episode’s worth of footage where Malcolm is unconscious on the floor? I know I’m a basket case but it would make my whump heart so happy.....even happier if that footage was immediately followed by 40 mins of hospital care/comfort footage.

20:59 - I know that time has sort of slowed down for the purpose of plot in this episode but ngl - every time we saw the elevator approaching passed out Malcolm all I could think was “this is the slowest elevator in the world.”

21:26 - Malcolm is so so relaxed and comfortable in this scene. I want him to be this happy forever. 

22:07 - “You deserve all of it.” Malcolm subconsciously just wants permission to be happy. He doesn’t think he deserves to be happy (especially after Endicott). That little revelation broke my heart. Also the Brightwell kiss was adorable. Dani takes control because, Malcolm wants to feel wanted and this is how his subconscious is manifesting that desire. I will argue that Malcolm doesn’t necessarily want a relationship where his partner takes charge or dominates him. He made coffee of both of them. They’re living in his apartment. They’re having calm, mature, adult conversations. They are both equal partners in his dream relationship. 

22:45 - Dani isn’t scared of Malcolm when his hand starts shaking. She isn’t judging him. She’s just concerned. <3

22:47 - “Existential ennui”? Soooo much french in this episode. Damn. “Jamais vu”, “Quelle suprise”. Now “ennui”. 

23:35 - “I don’t fit your profile.” ....am I expected to believe that Malcolm didn’t realize this was a dream until this moment? Dani calling him “Malcolm Whitly” in the last scene wasn’t a red flag? Or the fact that Ainsley is a doctor. Or that Martin isn’t in Claremont? Or that Jessica isn’t drinking booze by the bucket? I mean, I know he has a head injury but these are big red flags. 

24:15 - Sooooo is Wendell dead irl? Because this is technically a dream. 

25:02 - “I thought we were looking for an inexperienced psychopath. A first time killer.”......this is him projecting about Ainsley right? Am I overthinking this? And now he says, “I was wrong”. Is that supposed to suggest that Malcolm thinks Ainsley has killed someone before Endicott?

25:07 - “The blows are confident. They were having fun.”.....couldn’t the same be said about how Ainsley stabbed Endicott? They were definitely confident stabs (plus a confident throat slitting). 

25:14 - “We’re looking for a serial killer.” Istg the writers are hinting that Ainsley is a serial killer (or will become one soon).

25:27 - Mr. David appears in the AU but Edrisa doesn’t. We were ROBBED.

26:07 - I’m not the only one who thinks that beard makes Gil look like a werewolf right?

26:33 - Claremont!Gil is creepy. LDP’s performance here is really really good. Also - I hate it. Because serial killer Gil is just not my Gil and it upsets me to see Gil chained to a wall. 

26:56 - Sooooo in the AU “The Surgeon” is still at large right? ....you’d think Malcolm would be trying to solve that case with Dani and JT. You know, an active prolific serial killer in New York?

27:34 - The way that Martin, Gil, and Malcolm interact in this scene is really interesting to me. In a lot of ways, this isn’t an AU. Think about it. 

In the dream: Gil is frantically trying to convince Malcolm that Martin is a serial killer. In a way, Gil is trying to protect Malcolm from Martin.

In reality: Gil just shoots Malcolm disapproving looks when he mentions seeing Martin. Gil desperately tries to protect Malcolm from Martin.

In the dream: Martin is trying to convince Malcolm that Gil is a monster. He’s trying to convince Malcolm that he’s a Good father. That he would never hurt Malcolm. That he loves Malcolm. 

In reality - Martin is the same. 

The only main difference between AU!Martin, AU!Gil, and their real counterparts is their temperaments. AU!Martin has Gil’s calm, comforting, and rational temperament while AU!Gil has Martin’s angry, manic, and controlling temperament.

What is the same between the AU characters and their real counterparts? 

Martin is still a manipulative killer.

Gil still shoots Malcolm looks of concern (27:45). 

Gil and Martin still hate each other. 

28:30 - Even dream Martin tries to gaslight Malcolm. 

28:56 - “You can always count on Dad.” ....is this how Malcolm really feels about Martin subconsciously? It kind of makes sense? Who did Malcolm turn to when Ainsley did the unthinkable? Not Gil or Jessica. Malcolm said it in 1x12 - (I’m paraphrasing) “The child in me thought he cared. Loved me even.” I think there’s still a part of Malcolm that believes that. Or at least a part of Malcolm that desperately wants to believe that. 

29:17 - “I’ve never been to a crime scene before.” That’s because you create the crime scene, Martin. In all versions of reality. 

29:20 - annnnnnd AU Martin shares regular Martin’s weird fascination with Dani. 

31:00 - JT being buddy-buddy with Martin is hands down the most horrifying part of the AU. 

31:10 - “I think he’s having a psychotic break.” ......I want this to be foreshadowing so so so badly. I think it would be so interesting to see how the team, Jessica, Ainsley, and even Martin deal with Malcolm just having a total breakdown. Maybe not a full psychotic break. Maybe a nervous breakdown? Or he succumbs to his suicidal ideation? Probably a little too dark for network TV though.

31:34 - “I’m very protective of her and her boots.” Does Malcolm see himself as the Bowery Ripper, trying to protect Ainsley as opposed to his daughter? Or is the Bowery Ripper supposed to be a metaphor for Martin protecting Ainsley? Is Malcolm going to take the fall for Ainsley and all her murders?!? 

32:45 - “Why did you kill again? After all these years.” istg this is hinting that Ainsley killed someone as a kid and Martin knows about it.

33:00 - “I can’t let my daughter know what I was.” .....is the Bowery Ripper supposed to be Ainsley? Is Ainsley killing people to try and protect Malcolm? Ugh. I’m totally overthinking this.

33:02 - Even in his dream, Malcolm can’t bring himself to kill his father. Wether that is by cutting off contact with Martin irl or letting the Bowery Ripper kill him in the AU.

33:07 - Actually though - why doesn’t Malcolm carry a gun IRL? We know he’s trained to use one. We saw him use one in the pilot on a case for the FBI. Is there some sort of NYPD rule about consultants carrying weapons? Is it a rule that Gil has imposed on Malcolm? Is it a rule that Malcolm has imposed on himself? A mixture? I want to know. 

33:38 - OMG. Is Malcolm going to try and kill Ainsley?!?! What a twist that would be. AU Malcolm just killed a killer. He doesn’t seem to feel bad about it and he agrees with Martin that “everything is okay now”. 

33:55 - This hug deeply moved me. Malcolm is fully aware that this hug isn’t real but he looks so content to be hugged by his father. Malcolm is finally getting a proper hug. <3 It honestly makes me wonder what Malcolm would do IRL for his father’s approval though. He’s clearly sooo desperate for Martin to love him. Who knows what Martin will be able to convince Malcolm to do in this season? Malcolm’s not all that mentally stable right now and he’s really vulnerable emotionally. I’m worried.

34:26 - “Not that it’s a competition.” ....yep. Ainsley wants to be better than Malcolm even in Malcolm’s own subconscious. 

35:00 - Heart. Breaking. Watching Ainsley, Martin, and Jessica tell Malcolm how good they think Dani is for him breaks my heart. Look at how happy Malcolm looks. Look at how desperately Malcolm wants this to be real. Ugh. My heart is shattered. 

35:20 - “You’re the best, big brother.” Even Malcolm’s subconsious knows that he’s an excellent big brother. Seriously, I love my younger brother but I don’t think I could ever cover up a murder for him. Never mind dispose of the body. Maybe I would? IDK the situation has never come up (thankfully).

35:25 - .....aaannnnnndd we’re back to the Girl in the Box.

35:58 - “Why would you ever want to leave?” “Because it’s all a lie.” Isn’t Malcolm living a lie IRL too? He’s pretending that Ainsley is a law-abiding citizen. He’s pretending that he isn’t an accomplice in a murder. He’s living in constant fear because of his secrets. They’re going to destroy him. This is why I think a suicide attempt is a possibility for this season. This trauma is a lot bigger (in some ways) than last season’s. Plus - Malcolm has a lot of pre-existing trauma. This could be the metaphoric straw that breaks the camel’s back.  

36:45 - “Even in my wildest dream. I’m still a detective. I need to seek the truth. No matter how painful.” That’s it. That’s Malcolm’s character in a nutshell. “Traumatized boy who intentionally puts himself through more trauma for the sake of seeking the truth.”

37:01 - “You’re right. I need to work on that.”.......if Malcolm tells Gil and/or the team about Ainsley next episode I will lose my mind. 

 37:15 - TOM PAYNE. YOU ABSOLUTE TREASURE. THIS IS SUCH A GREAT PERFORMANCE. THOSE UNSHED TEARS. THAT DESPERATE ANGER. THAT HOPELESSNESS AND DESPAIR.  <3 <3 <3 <3 

38:21 - Look, I’m a mechanical engineering student (not an expert) but if that was a wooden stick like I think it is - that would’ve NEVER stopped an elevator (at least, not long enough for Malcolm to escape). But I’ll overlook it for whump. Because Malcolm has a head wound and I’m loving it. 

38:33 - I’ve rewatched this clip of Malcolm with a bloody face meeting JT and Dani about 50 times (wish I was exaggerating that number). There is something so gorgeous about this scene. I mean - the fact that Malcolm is clearly in physical and emotional pain is enough to make my whump heart sing but it’s more than that. Listen to the genuine concern in JT’s voice when he says, “You okay?”. Look at Dani’s concerned face. Listen to how soft and desperate Malcolm’s voice is when he says, “When was the last time I talked to you?” Look at how concerned and confused JT and Dani are when Malcolm says, “I know who the killer is.” They’re not scared of Malcolm. They’re scared for Malcolm. Malcolm just showed up covered in blood, he can’t walk straight, he’s clearly confused, and now he’s claiming that he’s solved the case. They’re worried about him and they have every right to be. Listen to how broken Malcolm sounds when he says, “Long story.” <3 <3 <3 I’m in love with this scene. 

39:19 - “Are you sure about this?” “I have no idea.” This. Is. Important. JT and Dani have every reason to believe that this old man isn’t a killer but Malcolm’s head injury is making him confused. BUT they choose to trust Malcolm (or at the very least, humour him). They trust him enough to take a risk on him and I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s exactly what Malcolm needed after his nightmare of an AU dream. He needed to know that they care about him IRL. I hope he notices their behaviour despite the head injury. 

39:35 - Malcolm puts the skull down with his ungloved hand. I’m blaming the head injury. 

39:55 - Look this was a really moving scene. The parallel of Malcolm arresting a serial killer in front of the serial killer’s child and Martin being arrested in front of Malcolm is haunting. HOWEVER, when that old man stood up from the wheelchair my stupid brain went “THAT ASSHOLE NEVER EVEN NEEDED THE WHEELCHAIR?!?”.....even though he literally wasn’t in a wheelchair in Malcolm’s dream. 

40:40 - WE WERE ROBBED. I want to see the scene where Malcolm explains his dream to the team. I want to see GIL. WHERE THE EFF IS GIL IN THIS EPISODE?!?! FURTHERMORE - I WANT THE IRL VERSION OF “MALCOLM GOES TO THE HOSPITAL FOR A HEAD INJURY” SCENE. WTF FEDAK. GIVE ME THE AFTERCARE. 

40:47 - “That man will be buried in a turtleneck.” hahahahahaha OMG. Iconic. 

41:27 - “Goodnight Malcolm.” <3 <3 <3 She called him Malcolm IRL. Excuse me while I go and stoke my slow burn Brightwell fire. 

41:36 - “Goodnight.” This is the face of a man who just accepted the fact that he will never be happy. Malcolm honestly doesn’t think he deserves to be in a relationship. Especially with someone as beautiful, kind, and talented as Dani.

41:40 - THAT HAT. Was this really in Season 1?!?! I don’t remember it? But holy hell - I want to see Malcolm wear it. Like now. It’s going to make me laugh. I can feel it. 

41:53 - Immediately you can hear that something is wrong in Ainsley’s voice. She sounds distracted, dissociated, and scared. 

42:14 - Give. Tom. Payne. An. Emmy. Listen to his voice breaking here. He’s so close to tears and it’s genuinely beautiful. Such an astounding performance. 

42:51 - I honestly think Ainsley is shaking her head because she realizes that she made a mistake. She came to Malcolm because she thought he killed Endicott. She thought that he’d be able to understand. That he’d be able to help her because he had committed the same crime she just committed. She was wrong. He can help her - but legally, he really shouldn’t.

43:08 - Look. A new scene for Malcolm’s night terrors. 

43:15 - Yep. This is going to drive Malcolm into a mental breakdown. This is bad. 

43:20 - There’s a part of me that wants Malcolm to tattle on Ainsley. Just so he doesn’t have to keep the secret any longer. The secret is killing him. Telling won’t make the situation any better though. Gil and the team will react horribly and it’ll make Malcolm feel like garbage. Plus I can only imagine how the press would scrutinize the Whitly’s again. It won’t be good any way you slice it. 

I have a love/hate relationship with this episode. On one hand - it’s the cannon AU episode that every fanfiction lover dreams of. It’s also a really compelling episode complete with some excellent acting and great insight into Malcolm’s psyche. HOWEVER: 1) not enough Gil, 2) WHERE IS MY WHUMP AFTERCARE?, and 3) I wanted to see Malcolm at the base of that elevator for longer. The whump wasn’t prolonged enough for my sick soul. 

#jess-rewatches-prodigal #malcolm bright #prodigal son #gil arroyo #dani powell #JT Tarmel #ainsley whitly #martin whitly #edrisa tanaka #jessica whitly #I LOVE this show #whump #rewatch #spoliers #malcolm needs a hug #ps #so good #2x06 #2x6 #head case #holy hell #the whump #<3 #this episode #we were robbed #where was the aftercare? #AND GIL #Also i loved this episode #s2

[b00ket]

🙄 hello, its me again, mx nosey

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? (also i mean like familiars)

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

Okay fellas answered these under the cut cause i have a ✨ fear of clogging yalls TL✨

3-

Amani: As a whole? No absolutely not. Even life before becoming an unwilling slave on a pirate ship, their home life wasn’t the best. Traveling constantly never allowed her and her family to settle down. Her parents were dysfunctional and always had tension around each other plus they planted the seed of “you get love after serving a purpose” into her head.

Good memory would be her parents congratulating her for preforming her first magical spell or that one night of dancing and singing when they were on the pirate ship.

Bad memory (that isn’t directly traumatic) would be hearing her parents arguing made Amani seek refuge in a dangerous forest where she was nearly mauled by a bull that had escaped a nearby town.

Lucas: Yeah! It was a bit crowded but in a charming way. His family was crowded but flowed in a way that was unmistakable. He is the youngest so having a large family was a comfort.

Good memory would be making dumplings with his family, it was a routine thing they did every weekend.

Bad memory would be spotting the wet rotting corpse of his sister in one of the canals. She fell in and was sucked dry, the entire family went looking and Lucas was unfortunately the one to see it.

Kieran: Sucked. They were the person that was picked on by the village. Their mother and rich girl that they served were their only friends. The seed of power=security was established here as well as a love for material items.

Good memory -> Their mother and the rich girl having a makeover while her father was gone

Bad memory -> being thrown into an empty grave as a joke by a gang of kids

Donovan: Didn’t have much of a childhood. He was an orphan that became the scapegoat and punching bag for the gang of children he hung out with. He truly believed he was useless and clung to this role in the group as a reason to keep on going.

Good memory -> Being gifted a sketchbook by a friendly artesian after they spotted the graffiti he had made.

Bad memory -> that same sketchbook being used to power a fire

8-

Amani: Parents found a Painted African Dog and adopted it as a pet. She doesn’t have any pets now but really wants a dog like the one she had as a child. Loves animals, is not as graceful with them as she’d like to be. Carried catnip to give to cats so she can pet them.

Lucas: Had 2 old dogs named Moo and Buggle. And a parrot named stick ❤️ they all had to be sold unfortunately. Lucas adopted a cat and named her Jolie! She isn’t a familiar just a very attention hungry cat. Lucas is great with animals cause he literally cannot refuse an animal food.

Kieran: No pets as a child. I thought gifting them a bat-earred fox but eeeeh. They dont have the patience to deal with animals.

Donovan: stray animals count as pets? He had this stray dog that liked him alot. He has no pets now but is generally good with animals. They naturally like him.

21-

Amani: Not much of a temper. But is very impatient (not from trauma just a personality thing)

When she loses her lid she cries typically. Her arms glow which prove more of a hazard as she gesticulates outwardly and burns shit around her.

Lucas: A bad temper but is very patient.

So an argument with Lucas is frustrating. Usually when he is angry its from a build up of stress. He tends to go quiet, responding with grunts or just completely ignoring you. If you try to lecture him he might start dissociating a bit.

If he is responding he unconsciously tries his best to be as threatening as possible to intimidate you into backing down. Standing tall, towering over you, occasionally punching a nearby object is common. Though punching is never at you its more of a way to eliminate stress so he doesn’t punch you.

If he doesn’t know you and you get on his nerves he will resort directly to violence. Whether that be gripping your shoulder incredibly hard and pushing you away or throwing you out the closest window depends on the context.

Kieran: Doesn’t take a whole lot to make them angry and they are impatient.

They’ve been alive for ~500 years and are sick of waiting for things.

When angry they do their best to be the one with power in this confrontation. Either physically or through way of speech. See the insulting post I did right before this.

Donovan: No temper and very patient.

Just a very chill person in general.

If they are mad its most likely at themself and they will cry about it privately.

25-

Amani: Weak to gross out humor. A fart joke never ceases to get a laugh out of her. She is naturally funny, but ask her to tell a joke and it’ll fall flat.

Her laugh is contagious and so genuine. Snorts and wheezing are all over as she finds the closest thing to keep herself from doubling over. Has and will do a spit take if she laughs while drinking.

Lucas: Well rounded sense of humor. Weakness is watching drunk people try to do anything, or someone who has never touched a pan try to bake. Ask him to tell a joke and it’ll be a really bad pun his father used to tell him.

Has a hearty laugh that fills the room. Tends to slam their hands on the nearest surface while laughing. Any other funny thing that happens while he laughs will start another round of laughs.

Kieran: Loves physical humor, people falling will make them laugh shamelessly. Can be intentionally funny, even if they tell it like a noble trying to entertaining other boring rich people.

In public its a polite laugh that you can tell has been practiced to perfection. In private they’ll slap you as they repeat the punch line or mock the funny physical action.

Donovan: Jokes containing any type of literature irony is so funny to them. You can’t beat a joke with dramatic irony! Too shy to tell a joke if you asked.

Hides his mouth when laughing out of reflex. Laughing fits are short and sweet.

#answered asks #this is long 😭 #bonus: how each of them laugh included #kieran power asks #amani ayad asks #lucas karimov asks #donovan nwadike asks

[thirdbasedumpsterfire]

Doby vs Toby a comparison Part 1

Alright so as I'm sure many of you know Third base and it’s main character Doby Doggers were originally created as a response to Ticci Toby’s removal from Creepypasta. Doby was created as a respectful yet spiteful way to replace Toby in fan work (His name being a direct correlation, Doby Doggers, Toby Roggers) That was why I latched onto him to begin with. He was also made to fit the role toby filled hence why the story follow the same general beats. 

Despite this I don’t talk a lot about Toby on this blog. Partially because Kastoway wants us to forget him and partially because I don’t want to treat Doby like a rip off character.  Doby is his own character and in my opinion RJ did a great job at making an original character with a familiar vibe.

Still, as much as I don’t want Toby to define Doby that is where he started. Plus it’s a lot of fun to compare and contrast the two of them and their stories. So that’s what I'm here to do. Strap in because this’ll be a long one.

Quick disclaimer I’ll be stating a lot of my personal opinion in this. If Toby still means a lot to you thats great, but spoiler alert I prefer Doby’s story.

Also this will obviously spoil both stories as I'll be discussing every aspect of the characters and their stories including the endings.

TW for Suicide, Death, Car accidents, Mental illness, Nightmares, Paranoia, Hallucinations, Child Abuse, Drinking, Murder, Arson, Psychosis, Transphobia, Dysphoria, Ableism

There’s a lot to compare between these two stories so let’s start with their stories.

STORY

Tragedy & Sibling Relationship

Both stories start with tragedy and the first shared element between them. Both stories center around a close sibling relationship torn apart but death. 

For Toby that was his older sister Lyra. She died in a car crash that Toby was also in. Lyra isn’t given much character  (which is a recurring problem in Toby’s story) but it’s clear that she and Toby were very close. He loved his sister more than anything and she was his only friend. 

For Doby it was his older brother John. John committed suicide while living with their mother. Doby lives with his father. We’re told a little about John. He was a painter and collected art from the thrift store, He and Doby would talk for hours about baseball and Doby’s love life. We know they were very close even after their parents divorce. 

The most interesting difference between the two in this aspect is the difference in situation. Toby was bullied into homeschooling and his father was very abusive. As a result he didn’t have any outside friends. He also didn’t have any other family relationship as he saw his mother as a coward for how she took the abuse and obviously hated his father. This made Lyra his only friend and only human to interact with. There was also a difference in the type of trauma her death gave him. Toby has CIP-A which means he can’t feel pain so when the crash happened he didn’t pass out on impact he was conscious and saw his sisters injuries. He watched her die.

Doby by comparison was in a fairly normal environment. His parents were divorced but beyond that he had a typical upbringing. He and John were more organically close. Johns death was a different type of trauma because it was suicide. Suicide is a different thing to a car crash. both are sudden but one I more preventable than the other. Suicide leaves those left behind feeling responsible or at very least looking for somewhere to place the blame. Doby blamed his mother’s refusal to help John and her narcissistic attitude for Johns death.

Parents and Family Relationship

this is the key difference between the two. Toby has been abused for years, he is still in an abusive situation, and just lost his sister. He was beyond traumatized to begin with so it’s no surprise he was so easy to push over the edge.

Doby by comparison had a normal childhood. His mother was terrible and verbally abusive but she was removed from the picture when he was young. He also grew up trans and that certainly affected him but his father, brother, and friends accepted him giving him a good support system.

Toby and Doby both had abusive parents but Toby was kept in that environment his entire life whereas Doby got out of it young. That is the main difference between the two.

Even when it came to the “good parents” Toby had his mom who was complicit in his abuse. Doby at least had a supportive and loving father.

Slenderman

Of course both story’s incorporate Slenderman as a key plot point. Both characters are Proxies.

Slenderman is not mentioned by name in either (why would he be)but his representation differs in an interesting way.

Toby’s story describes him as an image we as Creepypasta fan are familiar with, a tall pale man in a suit standing under a streetlamp. This can be attributed to the time it was written back in slendervers’s hay day. His affect on toby is quite extreme. Toby suffers hallucinations, vivid night terrors, extreme paranoia, extreme dissociation, an allure towards arson, and of course homicidal tendencies. He show’s severe PTSD symptoms as well.

Toby’s problems go as far as seeing his dead sister with horrible injuries during a night terror. Despite his situation his mother get’s worried enough to take him to a psychologist.

 Doby however, never really directly sees or describes Slenderman. The story takes advantage of our knowledge as creepypasta fans much like Toby’s. Except now we don’t even need explicit description all we need is the connection to the woods and the knowledge of Doby’s connection to Toby’s story to recognize the monster of the story. 

Doby’s decent is also a lot more subtle as well. It’s little things that eventually lead to the ending. Most of the focus is on him mourning John. He thinks endlessly about it and disassociates as a coping mechanism. Eventually he begins having night terrors. They aren’t outright threatening at first but just the prospect of losing his brother over and over again pushes him to lose sleep. Doby doesn’t suffer hallucinations either (which is rare in slenderverse) He is sleep deprived and deals with intrusive homicidal thoughts about his mother.

Murder 

Toby and Doby both murder their abusive parents in the end and set the house on fire before running off into the woods. Beyond that the circumstances behind the murders differ greatly.

If Toby were to have been tried in court he would have been charged with Voluntary Manslaughter if he wasn’t found not guilty by reason of insanity. I believe he likely would be. this is because Toby didn’t plan to kill his father. He certainly meant to be it was a crime of passion. He killed in the heat of a moment of rage.

The reason I say he would be found not guilty by reason of insanity is because of the severity of his mindset. Toby is a true proxy through and through he was not in control when killing his dad. He wasn't not in control when he set the neighborhood on fire either. Toby was completely dissociated. He certainly meant to kill and wouldn't regret it but he was gone when the killing happened.

If Doby were tried in court he would have been found guilty of First Degree Murder. Doby planned to kill his mom and that’s the key difference between the two murders. He wasn't set off in a fit of rage, he was cold and calculated. He broke in, made sure she couldn't get to the phone, broke plates to get her downstairs, and hid in the dark until she was within a bat swings distance. He was very there unlike Toby. Doby absolutely knew what he was doing. 

That’s the difference. Toby wanted to kill his dad but wasn't in control. Doby wanted to kill his mom and did the only influence Slenderman needed was getting him to go through with it.

Endings

The last thing I’ll talk about in this post is the ending of both stories.

At the end of Toby’s story his mom walks in on him having killed his dad. In a panic he runs outside and lights the neighborhood on fire before presumably dying. Then we step into his mother point of view as she move in with he sister. she’s mourning the loss of her family when she sees a report of a serial killer on the loose that is presumed to be her son.

Doby’s story ends much more open-ended. He smashes his moms head to a pulp before lighting her house on fire. he walks out with tears in his eyes and calls Johns voicemail telling his brother that he’s coming home before walking out to the woods.

I think these endings sum up very well the differences between these two characters and their stories. Ticci Toby is a horror. Third Base is a tragedy. sure they each have a hint of the other but they are mainly those things. That difference is in everything from the tone, to the character development, to the motivation, to of course the endings.

In the next post I'll compare and contrast the characters themselves so stay tuned~ 

~ Mod Vilet

#tw suicude #tw blood #tw transphobes #tw murder #tw ableism #tw abuse #tw childhood trauma #tw child abuse #tw nightmares #tw hallucinations #tw paranoia #tw mental trauma #tw mental illness #tw car crash #tw car accident #tw drinking #tw arson #tw dysphoria #tw dysfunctional family #tw death #tw depression #tw slenderman #doby #Dobby Doggers #I dont want to tag toby because I dont want castaway Stans on me #third base #third base creepypasta #comparison #essay #creepypasta

[softlass27]

Okay okay you don't have to do this now, but i was also wondering about your Eve fic: I've always been a daughter, because MY GOD I LOVED IT SO MUCH. Like your entire thought process behind Eve's character, how her relationship with Paddy and Chas came to be, just kdlsf everything. Sorry okay xx luv you!

So this is probably the most random, spontaneous thing I’ve ever written. It was borne out of two Chaddy-related irritations.

The first was them having another baby barely one year after the traumatic loss of the first one. It was so strange to me that everyone reacted so happily when they announced Chas was pregnant again, literally months after being devastated by Grace. It seemed way too soon, like Eve was essentially just there to replace what they’d lost and help them move on from it. And their obsessive paranoia over making sure Eve was okay all the time drove me mad, and just made me think it was bound to mess her up. To quote my mother, “The kid doesn’t stand a chance with those two.”

The second irritation was the way Chas kept trying to push Aaron to engage and spend time with Eve just after he’d lost Robert and Seb – and the chance of having another child of his own. It was so insensitive and cruel of her to use Eve to guilt Aaron into moving on by saying that she “needs her big brother”. She (plus Paddy and Liv) didn’t give a shit that Aaron had lost Robert, didn’t let him mourn everything he’d lost, they just wanted him to bounce back and forget all about him.

Somewhere along the line I started thinking, wouldn’t it be great if Chaddy’s constant pushing backfired and Eve became the biggest Robert stan of them all?

So that’s basically where it came from – anti-Chaddy spite.

Eve’s character

Oh God, I was SO nervous about writing her. I had a really clear picture of her in my head – that she’d be pretty well-behaved kid, very girly, quietly confident, and generally quite a chilled-out kid. But getting all that across in a way that made her likeable stressed me out so much, I was terrified that people either wouldn’t like her or just wouldn’t care about her.

It’s also the only fic I’ve written where the focus isn’t on Robron (although ofc there’s LOTS of them in there), so I was concerned people would be annoyed by that.

Relationship with Chaddy

Ahaha where to begin?

So obviously Eve’s relationship with her parents was a big part of the story. I wanted to make it clear that their trauma from losing Grace was never dealt with because they had Eve so quickly, and unfortunately that means Eve is the one to suffer because of it. Their grief becomes unhealthy, and it causes flaws that they already had – control issues, overbearing natures, a belief that they’re always in the right – to spiral out of control into something more extreme and sinister.

In the first half of the story, when Eve’s still a kid, their controlling and overprotective behaviour is something that she’s aware of but accepts easily enough, because she doesn’t know any different. Then when she becomes a teenager, there’s a shift in how it manifests. Once she starts to understand that something’s wrong and pull away, this is when the real breakdown of their relationship happens. They basically go between two extremes – either smothering her completely by inventing illnesses/stop her from becoming independent, or pushing her away and giving her the cold shoulder whenever she tries to resist said smothering.

There’s a form of mental illness/abuse that I find absolutely fascinating, which is called Munchausen’s syndrome by proxy (NHS link here). Not that much is known about it, but it basically involves an abuser (usually a parent or caregiver) faking illnesses in their child. It can be for a variety of reasons – power, attention, control, financial gain. I wasn’t comfortable actually labelling Chaddy’s treatment of Eve as this specific form of abuse, since I’m not a mental health professional (not yet anyway, I’m training to become one!), but it’s definitely something I had in the back of my mind when I was writing this. I doubt it’s a story the show would ever do, since it would mean turning Chaddy into actual villains, but I think the potential is definitely there with Eve!

I suppose the other thing to mention is Grace. Oh, Eve’s feelings about her sister are so complicated, probably more complicated than I was able to convey, though I loved giving it a good go. When she’s still a child, Eve’s main feeling in regards to Grace is confusion. Confusion over what happened to her, why she makes her parents so sad, why her not being here means Eve doesn’t get to do normal things like other kids.

Then when she gets older and understands, her feelings get a lot more messy. There’s anger, sadness, resentment... and a strange sort of disconnect between what her parents tell her to feel and what she actually feels. Not to mention the cold reality she tries not to dwell on too much – the only reason she was born is because Grace had died. 

Relationship with Aaron

Obviously I wanted Eve to be close to Aaron, and for him to sort of be her lifeline, her only real shot at growing up “normally”. Chaddy foisting her on him so much as a child means he sort of naturally becomes a third parent as well as a big brother. He’s the one who provides the things that a good parent is supposed to – support, encouragement, pushing her to be the best/as happy as she can be.

So yeah, Chaddy’s plan to use Eve to make Aaron act in the way they wanted backfires MASSIVELY. She becomes the only one who helps him get through losing Robert, and who (admittedly unknowingly) helps them get back together. And in turn, Eve spending so much time with Aaron makes her grow up strong and resilient – just like he is – and Chaddy can’t stand that. Ah, sweet irony.

Another thing I like about Eve and Aaron is that – on the surface – they have nothing in common. Unlike Liv, who was basically brought in as a “mini female Aaron”, Eve is very much her own person and very different to her big brother. But there are a few subtle similarities in their personalities that I did try to show – they’re both quite blunt when they want to be, they’re both quite easily-pleased and find simple pleasure in things, and neither of them suffer fools for long. And they both adore Robert. Speaking of whom…

Relationship with Robert

Literally one of the first thoughts I had about this story was: Eve will fall in love with Robert instantly. What little girl wouldn’t? The sweet relationship between them was one of my favourite things to write, their conversations always seemed to flow so naturally. It was also a soothing balm to my irritation over Liv hating Robert for literally no reason (other than she wanted Aaron all to herself). It never made any sense to me, so I wanted Eve to be the exact opposite. Writing Chaddy’s reaction to this was also very fun lol.

One thing that’s really lovely about them is how Robert becomes the only person who really understands what it’s like to not get along with your parents (and to be constantly compared to another sibling). To feel suffocated/desperate to get away, yet also upset when they reject you and guilty because you aren’t falling into line with their plans for you. Of course Aaron understands to an extent, because he obviously knows what Chas and Paddy can be like, but it wasn’t something he personally grew up with.

Ballet 

So Eve’s dance career wasn’t planned, not at all. It was initially just a hobby I used to show that she’s a proper girly girl. It wasn’t until I reached her teenage years that I realised I needed some sort of big conflict to cause the final showdown. I knew whatever it was had to lead to her moving into the Mill, before leaving the village and getting away from Chaddy for good.

I know from personal experience that if you grow up in the north and decide you want to pursue a career in the arts, you’re probably going to have to leave home and move to where the opportunities are. So the idea came to me that turning Eve’s passion for ballet into a career choice would mean she HAD to leave home, and it would serve as the ideal catalyst for this final fight.

I do have a head canon in my head about how Eve’s twenties and her early dance career will go. Who knows if I’ll ever write it, though!

#thanks amy! #god this is so rambly #i hope it makes sense?? #eve dingle #my writing #anti-chaddy #robron #robandaaronsoulmates

[mxrcayong]

the avatar series: 01.06

masterlist.

previous | next 

Am I more scared of confrontation or climbing out a window?

Tari was not expecting to have to answer that question. Well, not today at least. But it’s how she found herself using air bending to glide down the side of her building.  

It’s really not her fault she was in this situation. Sure, she could tell her friends about her identity, but that would mean losing them forever – even before she could actually be good at being who she’s supposed to be. But she woke up at seven in the morning to avoid interacting with Johnny and Doyoung. Unfortunately, she woke up to the sounds of them bickering about coffee and her secret escape plan failed.

Taking a deep breath, she recalled her years training in the Air Temple Island. Out of all the elements, she used air bending skills the least – only keeping the element of using her breath to keep her warm (which was as easy as just concentrating on her breath). She felt her lungs feel inflated as she concentrated on air bending; the feeling of weightlessness throughout her body as she flexes her fingers. The invisible light weight of the air she was manipulating fled into her fingers, to her fingertips and to her feet.

With her exhale, she let this power help her glide down the building slowly and calmly. As soon as she could, she jumped and landed gently on the ground to avoid the thumb of her feet getting anyone’s attention. This is when she thanks Raava that she’s the Avatar…even if she wouldn’t be in this position if she weren’t.

Quickly scanning the street which was practically empty, she set off for the ports.

“You do not need this.” Johnny emphasized, trying to grab the cup of coffee from Doyoung’s grasp. “You need to sleep. How many hours did you sleep last night?”

The insomniac was quick to defend himself. “More than you!”

“It was just tonight,” The non-bender groaned, acknowledging he had only slept for two hours last night as he anxiously fretted over his investigation. “Plus, I need this more because I have a major investigation today.”

Doyoung was never a morning person. He either is grumpy or refuses to get out of bed. “Make your own!” He whined, pulling away the cup from Johnny and taking a big sip. “Now you can’t have it.”

“You act like I’m saliva conscious.” Johnny provoked, wiggling his eyebrows. A stare down commenced – quickly leaving Johnny to groan out of desperation for a caffeinated drink and admit defeat.

As Doyoung treasured the bitter taste of coffee, Johnny was making his own cup of coffee. “So, what’s your investigation today?” Doyoung was itching for something to do. Ever since the gyms got vandalized or destroyed and benders have been alienated, he hasn’t had many tasks – Johnny constantly getting the groceries far before Doyoung could even think about leaving the house and no job to get too. On top of that, his roommate who hasn’t seemed to be affected by the alienation is constantly gone. He wanted to join Johnny – he’s sick of spending all day watching television and calling friends to check if they were okay.

However, Johnny wanted to make sure Doyoung doesn’t lose his trust in his roommate. He’s gone through so much, and if he finds out one of his best friends cannot be trusted – Johnny can’t imagine what would happen. “Uhm, it’s not too important.”

Doyoung raised his eyebrows, annoyed. “What happened to being major?” For someone so great at telling stories, Johnny couldn’t stutter out an excuse as fast as he would want. “Is it just so I could’ve given you my coffee?” The reporter quickly nodded, taking that as an excuse to cover up. “Do you think I could join you for today?” Johnny swears he’s never heard Doyoung’s voice so small.

Not only is Johnny investigating Tari, but he is concerned that Doyoung will only be either triggered or more in danger as he walks in the public. Concern fills Johnny’s heart. He knows the dangers Doyoung may face if he gets identified as a bender. Honestly, Johnny’s just glad bending can be hidden – but Doyoung was on the news when the bending gyms were attacked. Johnny couldn’t risk Doyoung being identified and hurt under his watch. “Yeah, sure, but I think I might take the day off.” Johnny excused, itching his neck awkwardly. Disappointed in his lack of availability to investigate Tari, he is wondering if he could actually tell Doyoung what was going on. In the end, he decided not to.

“I mean, can you just stay over then?” Johnny saw the pain and the loneliness deep in Doyoung’s eyes. He couldn’t leave him. He knew he made the right choice of hiding his suspicion of Tari. “I don’t want to be alone.” His voice was as small as an ant; quiet and fleeting. Johnny gave him a small smile, nodded, and hid his suspicion as he pulled out his favorite video games.

The Air Temple Island was full of orange. It was calm and serene - not including the kids playing Air Ball or using air scooters in the corner. It was always peaceful to be here - from being surrounded by water (which always calmed Tari down) to being surrounded by blue sky and a beautiful temple, but Tari was feeling nervous. 

The last time Tari was on this island was two years ago when she first moved to Sooman. It was a formal visit, having to discuss her plans on living in Sooman while continuing to do her Avatar duties. To this day, Tari is proud of her ability to have convinced Tenzin, Lin, and Sukiara to allow her to only train once a month. Of course, she’s seen them outside of this island – she looks at them like role models. They were her trainers at one point. But this island is nothing but anxiety for her.

Fire bending was never her forte. It was the reason why she moved on to airbending even if the main thing she mastered while training with her fire bending master were the basics and the Sun Warrior techniques, like the dancing dragon. Otherwise, she can be considered a rookie at best. But Sukiara realized that Tari was getting older and preferred that Tari was a jack of all trades rather than a master of two. As Tari was born a water-bender, she had to learn bending in the order of water, earth, fire, and then air.

Water came natural to her – like breathing. She was showed as skilled and masterful within days of her first bending lesson, which is partly how they identified her as a water bender. Within two years – at the age of six, she mastered water bending with the help of a water bending master. The year following was the year she ‘relaxed’ according to all the other mentors. But in reality, Sukiara took her away to an uninhabited island and trained her in blood bending; something Katara has banned due to being the darkest bending of all. Tari fully agreed with that statement once she mastered blood bending – it took her a year to learn that singular sub-bending, which was the longest it took her to learn any water bending technique. It was a year of pain, of emotional turmoil, of trauma. Sometimes, Tari still gets nightmares of what she did while training.

Earth was more difficult. It took her three years to become somewhat advanced. Tari was evasive and occasionally passive – nothing like the personality of a traditional earth bender. They’re direct, firm, and stand their ground. But Tari somewhat mastered it. She learnt from Lin and her mother Toph. She can sense things with her eyes closed and do metal bending, lava bending – whatever. But it never came naturally. She still struggles with the form.

Fire? It was her most difficult element. She entered the temple at ten years old, but left at fifteen. Sukiara explained to her that every Avatar has a lack of affinity for at least one other element. Usually, it’s the opposite element than the one they’re born in – but it largely depends on the personality. Fire required precision, intensity, aggression. Most moves are offensive – minimal were defensive. Tari cannot lightning generate nor can she do anything more than a proficient fire bender (other than her masterful knowledge of the Dragon Dance and traditional Sun Warrior techniques). It’s noteworthy to mention the one move she learnt with absolute ease was lightning redirection, but even that was a move inspired by the flow and adaptability of water benders.

Sukiara knew Air would come much easier to Tari. It suited her. Her guide believed that Tari was a perfect combination of the traditional traits of a water bender and an air bender. She was calm, evasive, defensive, adaptable, peaceful, flexible, kind, controlled. Additionally, Tari’s Avatar Guide was Aang. She would be the closest to him.

Stepping off the White Lotus’s Flying Bison named ‘Yip’, a 15-year-old Tari was welcomed by her previous-life’s family.  She’s heard about them and had vague memories of them from her previous life. She remembered talking to Aang as a child and Aang telling her stories about them, like a parent reading a child stories to sleep. It’s not usual for the Avatar Guide to appear for non-teachable circumstances, but Aang couldn’t stay away from his successor – someone who was scared and someone he saw a lot of himself in. She wanted to run away, like he did. She was told early, like he was. He saw her and didn’t see the Avatar, but a kid who had no choice.  

Tenzin was bending down, but his eyes were full of sorrow. He is the oldest air bender alive and the only air bending master in the world. His eyes scanned the girl who his father’s memory resided in as this same girl clutched onto her wolf tightly, not wanting to let her animal guide go. His family and him greeted her with warm smiles and a formal bow - his pregnant wife Pema and his two young daughters were ecstatic for her arrival.

Out of all the masters, Tenzin was the first one to have kids. It made Tari relax. Maybe this time she wouldn’t be so alone.

“I swear, every time you’re on this island – I’m pregnant.” Pema laughed as Jinora, Ikki, and Meelo followed her ecstatically to give their honorary older sister a hug. Tari lived with them for two years – until Jinora was seven, Ikki was four, and Meelo was two.

Tari grinned widely, Ani following her closely behind while Sukiara stood solemnly behind Tari. She was never known for pleasantries after all. She hugged the family which she temporarily had – the first family she had since she was four. Unfortunately, she doesn’t see them often. They prefer spending their hours on their home island rather than the mainland of Sooman, while Tari does anything to avoid it.

The Avatar chuckled as her honorary siblings jumped on her – tackling her with hugs, “No, last time I was here, you talked about wanting another child.” She teased, “How are you? I missed you guys so much.”

Ikki started talking – a lot; telling Tari about her latest TV show to her latest celebrity crush, which happened to be Prince of Fire Nation Jaehyun Jung (who Tari didn’t want to mention was far too old for the seven year old). While this was happening, Meelo was mocking and imitating his sister, and Jinora was just rolling her eyes and chuckling like Tari and her mother.

A cough ended the reunion. While Meelo and Ikki still continued to talk, Tari and Sukiara’s attention was brought to Tenzin and Lin. Tenzin looked obviously annoyed and flustered, while Lin was smirking. Tari knew Lin must’ve brought something up about their previous relationship to have caused Tenzin to have his ears as bright as a tomato. Lin sent Tari a soft smile, before using her head to motion towards the back.

“Hey guys, I’ll leave Ani with you okay?” She wanted to keep them entertained, she loved seeing them happy and she knows how much Meelo loves Ani. “I’ll be right back. I just have to talk to your dad real quick.” Ikki and Meelo barely seemed affected by her notice; immediately running and replacing her presence with a dog. Tari gave Jinora a quick individual hug and a parting hug to Pema, before following Sukiara who had already started towards Tenzin and Lin.

Sukiara let out a soft chuckle, peeking her head over her shoulder to look at Tari. “They replaced you with your wolf in no time.” A harmless comment, Tari smiled. Sukiara was no enemy except for recent times. She raised and guided her growing up and hearing her say that was the first time she heard Sukiara made a joke since Tari moved to Sooman city.  

Somehow, video games turned into a karaoke and homemade pizza night. Tari has yet to return home and every minute that passes, Johnny constantly wonders where she is. But, that was hidden under the screams of Doyoung and Johnny singing along to ‘Piano Man’ as they eat their unintentionally burnt, or as Johnny calls them “crispy”, homemade pizzas.

“Okay, okay, let’s play…” Johnny laughed, falling back onto the couch and searched through the streaming site for other songs. After four songs and a failed attempt at freestyle choreography, he was slightly out of breath. This may be the only time he wanted to be an air bender – he could literally expand his lungs with air just a little bit. “Ugh, I don’t know. Do you want to go back to vid-?”

“Can we go to the gym?” Doyoung interrupted him what seemed out of nowhere. Johnny noticed Doyoung started acting weird during the videogames, which was why Johnny changed the activities. “I want to go back.”

Johnny was speechless. Could it trigger him? Not only was the atmosphere for benders on the streets tense, but he’ll be back to where he was attacked. Could it make him worse off?

“Listen, I see your face – I know you don’t think it’s a good idea.” Doyoung was quick to explain his thoughts, “But, I need to be with peace with it. Maybe the reason I can’t sleep is because I keep seeing how it was while it was attacked. I keep remembering what happened when I was attacked.” He sighed, “If I can see it now, then it gives me a vision of it where yes, it’s in shambles. But at least I’m safe. And you’ll be with me. Tari would want me to do it.”

If it weren’t for his desperate tone of voice and his pleading eyes, Johnny wouldn’t have said yes.

“The government cannot make you do this and we haven’t done anything yet,” Lin informed, looking solemn as she stood with her arms crossed in the back corner of Tenzin’s personal office. Tenzin sat in the chair in the middle of the room with Tari in front of him, Sukiara standing behind Tari’s chair. “And we’re not planning to until we get your permission.”

“But they’re highly requesting to know which city the Avatar is located in, your identity, and your master levels in each element.” Tenzin sighed. He looked as if he was in between a rock and a hard place, as if it pains him to tell Tari this. “Mainly, they want to know if you are in Sooman so they can be aware, and they can then have you act as a model citizen and stop bending until this is all over.” Tenzin, as representative of the air nation in the Sooman Council, was one of the most influential governmental leaders – not only for his role, but also his legacy. He is seen as the second coming of Aang in non-Avatar form. However, he is also known as the only Air Bending master in the world and thus everyone knew he would know who the Avatar is.

Alternatively, Lin was the general of police and the daughter of Toph. She was widely known for her skills in earth bending and her reputation in the police force. However, everyone assumed the Avatar would learn from Toph. Which is true – Toph was Tari’s mentor, but Lin was her co-mentor per say. “We support you no matter what. This government can honestly go to hell.” Tenzin audibly groaned at this, rolling his eyes – annoyed at the attitude Lin has against the very government she works for. “This is your choice. Your identity. And the government isn’t forcing you out of it.”

Tari’s mind was running miles per minute. If she reveals her identity, it would be public knowledge. When this all blows over – if it all blows over, she wouldn’t be able to walk around in public unnoticed. She will be treated differently. She will lose the people she has in her life. This is the first time ever the government or a government has asked for her identity. The only time her identity was considered an ‘urgent’ matter was when Lin and Tenzin wanted to know how Tari wanted to be treated around Sooman.

Tenzin seemed to observe her anxiety – her fidgeting in the seat, her glances away from eye contact - “Honestly, just think about it. We have until tomorrow to tell him the news.”

Silence. Tari couldn’t respond. Her mind flew of images of her friends, of her bosses, of Hendery, of NCT. If her identity was shown, she wouldn’t be able to enter NCT without the spotlight on her. She knew she would become a political tool, she’ll be under a spotlight. Not to mention, this society was so against bending. What would happen to her?

Tenzin coughed. “Well?”

“May I go think alone?” The adults nodded but they didn’t complete the action before Tari sprinted out the familiar hallways. Tari couldn’t hear Lin chastise Tenzin for the way he presented the government’s request.  

The familiar hallways eventually led her to her old temporary bedroom. When she was learning air bending, she stayed here if not the White Lotus island. She saw how it became a meditation area – mostly empty. The walls were now plain beige with stools placed on the rug in an organized manner. To be honest, it felt like she was confined. The walls were the government holding back benders and the fact her identity is so consuming and ruining her life. She wasn’t even old enough to want to be who she is. She wasn’t old enough to remember the legendary tales of Aang and Roku and Kyoshi, of Wan and Yangchen. She wasn’t old enough to be like her peers who desperately spoke about how ‘awesome’ it would be to be the Avatar when she was told of her responsibilities.

She wanted to be by the water. But, she didn’t want anyone to see her distress.

She heard a knock at the door as she stared hopelessly at the floor, continuing to bite her tongue to the point it bled. She didn’t want to heal it.

“My life isn’t mine, huh?” Tari asked, already knowing Sukiara is behind her. “It’s theirs, right?” She turned around. Tari’s ocean blue eyes staring at Sukiara’s icy cold ones, which only seemed to melt as Tari used her own words against her. “I need to give myself up. Give my life up. To keep everyone safe. If the government knows about me, maybe they’ll loosen up.”

Sukiara sighed, sitting beside her as elegantly as she can in her maxi dress the color of the ocean under the night sky. “Your life, yes, your duties – your purpose is for the people.” She started, her voice refuses to waver. Sukiara never wavered and never had a regret. She knew what she had to do, and everything she’s done has been to do it; to protect, guide, and help the Avatar. “But you’re basing that off maybe’s. I don’t think this is my decision, it’s yours. But, most Avatars get identified publicly.” Tari nodded solemnly, not questioning what is being said. She now has to deal with a difficult task – losing what…“You never were.” Sukiara reminded her, “And that is because of your parents.”

Sukiara took a photo out of her satchel. It was a photo from her bedroom on the White Lotus island. It was a postcard her parents sent her for her 18th birthday before she moved to Sooman. It was a photo of her mother, her father, her older brother, and the younger sister she never got to meet. She was always scared to write them back, but they wrote to her every day. It was Tari’s favorite photo of them; they all looked so happy. Her mother and father looked so in love with their life and always wrote about how proud they were of Tari.

“Your parents. They wanted you to make this choice.” Sukiara said. “No one has ever said anything because your parents demanded that your identity is your choice. Your purpose is for the people, but your identity is yours.” The guide’s voice was usually icy and sharp, but now it was like a river flowing on a calm day. “They said your identity was already chosen by destiny enough and the rest of your life should be yours. It’s your choice about this. Not anyone else’s.” Sukiara stood up and left her hand on Tari’s shoulder. “I know whatever your choice is, you’ll make them proud.”

Johnny saw Doyoung’s stark face express the five stages of grief within a couple of minutes. But it ended with a look of determination. The same place he basically resided in – the place he’d visit daily and spend hours among hours with friends, colleagues, and anyone was destroyed. This place represented him; once widely accepted and in fact loved by many of the community – no matter their background, but now destroyed and alienated. People can only silently support it unless they want to be attacked.

The ghosts of the crowds of this area seemed to walk around them in what can be comparable to a deserted wasteland. It used to be full of benders and non-benders, smiling and celebrating life. It felt so strange that this area is only five minutes away from the mainstreet. 

“I can’t be silent anymore.” Doyoung mumbled under the harsh and tense atmosphere of the block. The ruins of the gyms stood before them. The once colorful area was darkened by ash, debris, and graffiti. “I can’t be that air bending monk who just wants peace when the world is in chaos.” Doyoung was on the verge of tears, his voice cracking. “Johnny, we have to help. I don’t care what Tari says, but I’m ready to fight.”

Johnny didn’t want to say yes, but didn’t want to reject his desire either. “Let’s wait for Tari, yeah?”

Tari continued to sit in the room – now for the third hour, just staring at the ground. Sukiara’s words gave her more to think about. What would her family want? But now, Ani’s with her. Ani, as her animal guide, can sense when Tari is in distress. So, the grey wolf curled itself next to her knee.  

She’s usually never alone with her thoughts, even when she meditates. As the Avatar, she’s the bridge between the Spirit World and the Human World. As a result, once she meditates – she’s there. Of course as a kid, before she learnt how to properly meditate – she never managed to get into the marvelous Spirit World – a mystical forest that parallels the human world but remains uninhabited by humans. Except for one, of course, but General Iroh was more spiritual than an average human. He was delighted when he heard of the news of Sooman City and even more when he heard about the shop Tari works at. Tari’s not going to lie and say that he’s not one of the only reason she frequently visits the Spirit World. But, there’s more to it.

The Spirit World is beautiful and dangerous. It’s mystical and something Tari wishes she can capture accurately with words but the beauty defeats all the words she can think of. The danger, however, is extreme. The danger of spirits was the reason the two worlds were separated in the first place, and before it was separated – the reason humans were granted the ability to bend the elements.

But as she refuses to meditate now, she is now alone with her thoughts. Each thought echoing against the wall and reverberating back towards her. The only sound in the room was the soft combination of breathing of Ani and Tari, with occasional purrs coming from Ani as Tari strokes her out of habit.

“Tenzin, I haven’t made a decision yet.” Tari commented, catching a peek of orange robes from her peripheral vision.

“I look that young?” A shocked joking voice exclaimed. Tari turned around, seeing Aang – who was grinning at her. “I’m here to talk to you.”

At the sight of him, Tari felt her voice tremble. “I’m so, so, sor-.”

“No.” Aang said, her Avatar guide appearing in front of her. “Don’t apologise. You have not disappointed me or Roku, not gonna lie – maybe Kyoshi,” Aang gawked at his successors reaction, “I’m kidding. You haven’t disappointed any of us. Listen, as you know, I can’t be here for long so I’ll tell you a story.”

And a story he told. A story of his own running away from his identity, but how it was right. About how if he hadn’t ran away, he would’ve never been able to stop the war. How time comes when it comes and it will be obvious when it will. He told her of the days he spent wondering if he was worth being the Avatar and if he really was deserving. He told her about running away from his identity. “None of us were perfect, Tari. But the one thing that is; time and your gut. Time and your gut will tell you when it’s right. And when you fear your gut was wrong, when you regret your decision – that decision will only help you become the future you. it’ll help inform your future decisions. So trust it.”

And he faded into thin air, a grin on his face as he wished Tari good luck.  A sense of warmth radiated throughout her body; comfort and home and a sense of validation.

With that, Tari knew what she had to do. With Ani following closely behind, Tari stormed into the office where Lin and Tenzin were obviously frustrating each other and declared she’ll keep her identity to herself. Sukiara swore this was the one time she’s ever seen Tari stand her ground like that.

The Avatar then turned to Sukiara,“Can I go home now?”

Sukiara nodded, checking the time on her phone. “We should take a boat back to Soo-.”

“No,” She smiled softly, biting her lip anxiously while gauging her mentor’s reaction. “My other home.”

With a wide grin, Sukiara happily nodded and prepapred for their journey back to the home of the Avatar; Bak Mei Island. 

request anything for future parts / penny for your thoughts here

#nct imagines #nct imagine au #nct mark imagine #nct imagine #NCT #nct127 #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 imagine #nct127 imagines #nct127 imagine #johnny imagines #johnny suh imagines #wayv imagines #wayv imagine #johnny suh imagine #johnny imagine #johnny au #doyoung imagines #doyoung imagine #doyoung kim imagines #doyoung kim imagine #kim doyoung imagines #kim doyoung imagine #nct johnny imagines #nct doyoung imagines #avatar au #nct avatar au #nct stories #kpop #kpop au

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Where's Nance? Rio: She was with your parents last I saw Rio: but that was a while ago so Buster: Typical Buster: Oldest trick in the book for when she doesn't wanna talk to me Rio: Can't imagine why Buster: 'Course you can't Rio: 🙄 Buster: Yeah, like I was saying, always a pleasure Rio: Where? Buster: Exactly Rio: Hm Rio: I'll tell her you're looking for her, I guess Buster: Don't Buster: She'll find a new hiding place Rio: What have you done then? Buster: Cheers Buster: Really nice of you to assume it's all my fault Rio: you aren't the one hiding Buster: I'm not a pussy Buster: If something needs to get said, I'll say it Rio: That's why she's hiding then, I imagine Buster: I didn't ask you why, just where Rio: is it that pressing? Buster: What 'cause I'm gonna ruin all the fun she's having? Buster: You've got the wrong sister there, babe Rio: well it sounds like it Buster: I don't need your permission Rio: Why do you need to be a dick? Buster: To her or to you? Rio: Her, obviously Rio: It's not that deep Buster: I'm not being a dick to her Buster: I was last night, which is why I wanna talk to her Rio: Oh, so you wanna apologize Rio: you can't force her to accept it, probably wait for her to come out from wherever she is Buster: Did I say that? Buster: I've got nothing to be sorry for Rio: For God's sake Rio: I forgot how tiring you were Buster: It ain't my fault its been years since you've been able to keep up with me Rio: Please Rio: your memory is as selective as your participation Buster: Your memory is as unreliable as your mum's baby daddys Rio: I don't need this from you today Buster: Name a day you do need it, I'll check my calendar, like Rio: You're so unfunny Buster: I ain't the entertainment Buster: You wish Rio: Neither is my family Rio: sorry to disappoint Buster: It's alright, like I said, I'm used to you disappointing me Buster: Ancient history Rio: Heartbreaking Buster: It makes no odds to me if you can't hold your nerve, drink or your head high Buster: That's your problem Rio: None of which you'd know anything about Rio: you're the only one here with a problem, obviously Buster: Which one of us are you trying to convince? Buster: Either way, I'd work harder at it if I were you Rio: like permission, I definitely don't need your advice Rio: there's no need for conviction, you don't like me, I don't like you, it's simple Buster: There's every need for conviction when it's the pretence you're actually tired of Buster: I understand putting the one, big, happy family spin on things for the kids but we ain't that and you ain't supposed to buy into your own bullshit Buster: You don't wanna be here, don't put that on me Rio: Don't project your bullshit onto me Rio: You wouldn't know, because you don't, but I turn up to events Buster: Just own yours Buster: I know 'cause I can still read you, neither of us have to like it, but it's true Rio: Just leave me alone Rio: don't think about me Buster: Don't cry, you'll fuck up the photos Rio: You wish Buster: You wish I cared Rio: yeah Rio: pleasure, right Buster: [brings her a drink like drown your sorrows but doesn't stick around cos rude hoe] Rio: [gives it to her mans like no thank you] Buster: [LOL love that power move] Rio: [has to be done] Buster: [also how awkward that her man is at this fam function, please don't be cringe Caleb] Rio: [at least you're the least bothered in that sense, you know you bomb enough] Buster: [and you're your dad's fave too so best behaviour with you] Rio: [hopefully you're not looking as messy by this age sir] Buster: [good lord I hope not you'll be the one ruining those photos if you are] Rio: [just put him on the side so you can crop him out] Buster: [#mood and defs crop out shit nan] Rio: [she'll be on fine form, everyone hide she lives to shade] Buster: [Grace just crying cos she only a bab and she already getting shaded] Rio: [no prisoners baby] Buster: [no offense Meena but none of us are living rn] Rio: [soz your wedding is tense] Buster: [thank god there's not loads of them] Rio: [we been derailed though you two think of a flimsy excuse to talk again] Buster: [is Gus still alive or nah that's my last question I promise] Rio: [nah, if we said OG he died when Pablo, that's 22, so a year before the twins are born] Buster: [sad times] Rio: [okay so later, like a time that you've both had to be on it with the drinks etc] Rio: you find her? Buster: No Rio: you still want to? Buster: Forget it Buster: She wants to stay mad Rio: don't you approve of that though Buster: Of martyrdom? Fuck that Rio: nah Rio: being angry, doing your own thing Buster: If that was what she was doing Rio: well, she's with June, obviously Rio: but they seemed content enough Buster: Whatever Rio: Whatever then Rio: enjoy the remaining festivities Buster: Obviously Rio: not been that bad Rio: my nan thinks you're SO impressive, know you love that Buster: Compared to what? St Paddy's? Christmas? My 10th birthday? Buster: I know I'm impressive, I could give a fuck what she thinks Rio: What was wrong with your 10th birthday? Buster: What's wrong with any of them? It was just an example Rio: it sounded like some deep trauma you should repress is all Rio: maybe I already had, idk Buster: I can afford a good therapist, it'll be fine Rio: Yippee Buster: You don't have to lose any sleep over me, babe Buster: Dreams aside Rio: You've been working on your jokes Rio: glad you've spent your time wisely Buster: 'Course you are Buster: So invested in my success, yeah? Rio: Sure Rio: not that I spend enough time laughing at jokes that aren't funny without needlessly indulging you too or anything Buster: Dump your boyfriend then Buster: He's got fuck all going for him if he ain't funny Rio: How do you know I'm talking about him? Buster: Educated guess Buster: 'Cause I am Rio: Well you're wrong Rio: and my dad really isn't that funny Rio: or he thinks I'm still five Buster: I ain't wrong that he looks like he has to sign his name with a cross Buster: And I could've told you that, about your dad Rio: You're just being rude with no basis for it, but I'm not after help with my homework even if he was that thick so what would it matter Rio: I'm sure Rio: why didn't you offer you unnecessary, 'expert' opinion this time then? Buster: I have a solid basis for your lack of standards, but fair point, it doesn't really matter to me Buster: And 'cause you can't even accept my offer of a drink Rio: if high standards means being here alone, you can have it Rio: it wasn't an offer, it was parallel to assault with a 🍹 Buster: If you're that scared to be alone, I'll see you in the shrink's chair once we've given it at least a couple more years to let the trauma accumulate Buster: You never used to be so afraid of everything Rio: I'm no more scared of being alone than you're scared to be with someone Rio: what else am I meant to be afraid of? Buster: Other than acting like I threw a glass of straight brandy in your face? Rio: You weren't trying to give me a drink, you were trying to prove a point you didn't have Buster: Let's not pretend you have any idea what my motivations are/were/could be at any particular point in time Rio: I'd have to join in the delusion you aren't transparent first and honestly Rio: not got the time Buster: 'Cause you don't Buster: 'Course* Rio: Be well busy teaching my boyfriend to read and write, apparently Buster: There's so many delusions it must be necessary to maintain in order to just be with him that neither of us have the time to list them all Rio: It doesn't really matter to you, remember? Buster: Cheers for the reminder Rio: You're so welcome Buster: I feel it Buster: Your nan has such a welcoming vibe Rio: No doubt ⭐ boy Rio: try being your sister, or my brother Buster: She loves it Rio: Judging like God gave her the go ahead? Rio: I know Buster: I meant Nance loves a chance to play the victim, but yeah that too Rio: She'll be over it 'fore the night is out Buster: Don't underestimate her Rio: Yeah, that's me Buster: Well, everyone knows the opposite is reserved for your boyfriends Rio: I highly doubt anyone but you is thinking about it at all Buster: If that idea brings you comfort, you can have it Rio: How generous Buster: Why are you wearing that? Rio: What do you mean? Buster: It's a simple enough question Rio: Too simple for words Rio: because it's a wedding Rio: what else would I wear? Buster: I'm not your stylist Rio: then don't act like it Buster: I ain't Rio: Maybe I don't like what you're wearing Rio: you don't have to announce every thought in your head Buster: I didn't express an opinion, I asked a question Rio: I know what you're saying Buster: No you don't Rio: Then tell me Buster: You've already made it clear that you don't want me to Rio: That's why I asked you to Buster: I don't have to announce every thought in my head, remember? Rio: Fine Rio: well I'm not going home to change, can you handle that? Buster: What if I can't? Rio: I know you can Buster: Fine Rio: Do you want a drink? Buster: Are you gonna throw it at me? Rio: I've got manners Buster: Shame Rio: 😏 Rio: if you're missing playing, there's room at the kid's table Buster: I'm gutted that you don't wanna play a game with me, that doesn't mean you get to push your luck that far Rio: You don't seem like you're in a playful mood Buster: What mood do I seem like I'm in? Rio: So I can't read your motivations anymore but I can still read your moods? Buster: Come on Rio: You seem Rio: annoyed Rio: uncomfortable, like the rest of us Buster: Is that you finally admitting that you're uncomfortable? Rio: I never said I was having the BEST time Buster: Alright, let's have that drink then Rio: as far as non-solutions go Rio: one of the better Buster: You know me well enough to know if it ain't the best, I ain't interested Rio: That's why you ain't brought a plus one, yeah Buster: Yeah Rio: You seem bored too Buster: You don't have to read my mind for that one, it's just common sense Rio: So I'll get you that drink Buster: Cheers Rio: Slainte Rio: [gonna have you get waylaid by your dad and Drew at the bar] Buster: [when you come and literally drag her away from them when you realise cos you don't have to read her mind there either] Rio: [we all know Drew's already getting lowkey creepy at this age, never mind any dad angst or embarrassment 'thanks' as you awkwardly give him his drink] Buster: [when it's been so long since they've touched each other that he can't even speak so just gotta shake his head for that don't cos he didn't do it for the thanks] Rio: ['you already said it for the drink' and a shrug that you can barely keep steady and even because being this close to him but we're pretending this is very casual 'we're even'] Buster: [a shrug that exactly mirrors hers for that beautiful cinematography and matching mood but forcing that eye contact cos gotta pretend you're unfazed] Rio: [maintaining it long enough to take the first sip of your drink, then going to walk away again] Buster: [putting his hand on her wrist just like he did a second ago when he dragged her away from that delightful pair because we've started something now] Rio: [looking down at his hand on your wrist because you cannot] Buster: [unhanding her because you know you have to not because you want to] Rio: ['enjoy, yeah?' and looking back up as you go] Buster: [just staring at her nbd and nothing to see here people] Rio: [a shameless moment whilst you walk back to this boy] Buster: [excuse you sir] Rio: [like so soz her level of investment in you has plummeted rn] Buster: [I'm dying because this lad is probably saying something to her and does she care? NOPE] Rio: [tryna have your own moment like hold up] Buster: [Ava as the only other person he gives a fuck about at this whole function/in the world you've gotta distract him so he doesn't go over there/do something stupid] Rio: [at least you're 8 and will have no qualms in doing so] Buster: [have a cute moment between yourselves so he calms down] Rio: [ask him to dance or something] Buster: [you gotta] Rio: [not that this will help her, just sneakily looking how cute they are] Buster: [just casually reminding her of what a sweet boy he used to be when they were younger] Rio: [and he's good with kids which is so important to you for obvious reasons] Buster: [omg it makes so much sense why they have so many kids now even more than before] Rio: [mhmm Buster: [we is so clever] Rio: [the cleverest] Buster: What mood am I in now? Rio: A much better one Rio: even if you'd like to deny it Buster: I'm not about to deny it, she's the best thing my parents have ever done and you heard what I said that means for my interest Rio: It's nice Buster: I'm capable of nice Buster: It just suits everyone to forget it, including you Rio: I've never said you weren't Rio: it suits you for people to forget, anyway, if you wanted it otherwise, you'd remind them more often Buster: Not tonight, there'll have been others though Buster: Yeah, like I said, it suits everyone Rio: My memory isn't selective Rio: this night or any other Buster: Call it whatever you like Buster: The end result is the same Rio: No it isn't Buster: Tell me how it's any different Rio: I still have memories Rio: that you can't do fuck all about Buster: Memories that make no fucking difference to now Rio: That's your opinion Buster: It's a fact Buster: There isn't a single one you could share with me now or vice versa that would lead to our reconciliation Rio: because we don't want it Buster: 'Cause it's bullshit Buster: It might as well have happened to someone else for all the relevance it has to who I am Rio: Yeah, because you don't want it to make a difference Rio: that's what I said Buster: Yeah, you're the expert on what I want Rio: Don't need to be, that's what you're saying as well Buster: What I'm saying is that it doesn't matter, it's not about whether I want it to or not Rio: Fine Buster: There are loads of things that have a bearing on my day to day live and how it looks going forward, and like it or not, all the summers I wasted here with you as a kid ain't one of 'em, oddly enough Buster: *life Rio: as I said, WE don't want it to matter Rio: so, unsurprisingly, I don't care Buster: Say it like you mean it Buster: You're supposed to kill your darlings, babe, not give 'em the one punch and call it quits Rio: Whatever, have you sufficiently proved to yourself how un-nice you can be too now or? Buster: It's about what you don't wanna prove to yourself though, more than anything else Buster: You're scared if you really hurt me, you'll like it Buster: And you don't want that 'cause you do care, even if it's only for the me in your memories Rio: I'm not scared of that, or to admit I care, because I'm not a sociopath Rio: we're related, like it or not Buster: I'm not a sociopath just 'cause I don't like the fact we're related Rio: You'll get over it Buster: You're supposed to say, 'nah you're a sociopath 'cause....' I've probably got loads of the traits you could pick from Buster: But since you didn't, what if I can't? Rio: I don't think you are one, your narcissistic trait will take that blow hard, I know Rio: There's no choice Rio: I've got plenty of relatives I like less than you, as you're aware Rio: they don't just go away, even if you try to Buster: There are always choices and there are always gonna be relatives I like less than you Buster: But Rio, what if I can't get over this? Rio: Don't take the piss Buster: I mean it, you know I do Rio: Then you know I don't have an answer Buster: You have to if I don't Rio: The only way blood doesn't matter is if the person fucks up so spectacularly you can disown them Rio: even then, not really Rio: so yeah, have some kids you don't want, acquire a drug habit that you do Buster: I've got the latter, I can't say it's especially helping Rio: not really though Rio: just at parties, yeah Buster: You don't have to worry about me Rio: I'm not, just asked a question Buster: I go to parties all the time so it's hardly an occasional thing, but alright, to answer your question, yeah Rio: everyone does though, like Rio: that's alright, that's normal Buster: Only you would find a way to be insulting and reassuring at the same time Rio: Yeah, I'm well sorry if you thought you and your friends were unique Buster: Not those cunts, just me Rio: That's very nice Buster: So are they Rio: Why are you friends with them? Buster: If not those cunts then a bunch of others Rio: But I'm afraid to be alone? Buster: [a big Fearghal style loud lol] Buster: Touché Rio: [shaking her head like 😏] Buster: You reckon I should be more like Nance then, yeah? Isolate myself and pretend human connection is unneccessary Rio: Obviously not Rio: No one wants to be alone Buster: No one's good enough for me, babe Buster: You were the first to prove it Rio: Fuck off Rio: you so obviously fit right in with your friends, that's the truth Buster: I give it 110% same as everything else Rio: I never had any doubt Buster: Good Rio: Even if I had, your socials leave little to be desired in the twat factor Buster: And yet, you can't look away Rio: if you think a car crash is aspirational Buster: You may be one of my poor relations, that doesn't make me a poster boy Buster: Find your own access to high society, Eliza Rio: I'm not your anything Rio: and I've got no interest in that either Buster: Well done then, on both counts Rio: Bye now Buster: For now Rio: Unfortunately Buster: Fuck off Rio: excuse you? Buster: Lie better or don't bother Rio: You can pretend I'm just devastated to see you go, if it makes you happy Buster: That isn't something I need to pretend Rio: There you go, head in the ☁s again Rio: you're welcome Buster: You wish Buster: Stop daydreaming about me, the nights are already so fucking long Rio: You're lucky I don't tell people how weird you are Buster: Go ahead Rio: You think I won't Buster: I dare you Rio: Don't Buster: I double dare you Rio: You know I can't Rio: no one would believe just how weird you are Buster: You can do anything you want, you just have to want it more than you care about what the consequences are/could be Rio: I'm sure they'd just put you in very expensive therapy Buster: And I wouldn't have to see you any more Rio: That's what you want then Buster: Don't you? Rio: I already said, there are people I dislike more around Buster: You know there's only so many boyfriends you can parade in front of me before I kill one Rio: You're not going to kill anyone, you're not a sociopath, remember Rio: and I'm not parading anyone, they're just there Buster: Just saying, like Buster: You might wanna reconsider your rankings Buster: And I didn't say I wouldn't feel guilt or whatever else Rio: Of course you wanna be on top Buster: You don't want me to be? Rio: Why would I want that, Buster? Buster: You know why Rio: Not when me and all the wasted Summers as kids are nothing but a footnote Buster: Don't Rio: You said it Buster: What would you rather I said? Buster: Tell me Rio: Not every thought in my head Buster: Come on Rio: What do you want me to say? Buster: A thought in your head, not every Rio: Alright Rio: you're pretty drunk, that's what I'm thinking Buster: I'm not that drunk, if that's what's stopping you Rio: I could say more if you were Buster: I'll find some brandy, you can say it at my funeral Rio: Things aren't that dire, come on Rio: they're quite a sweet couple Buster: If you say so Rio: you don't think so? Buster: I don't know what kind of couple they are Buster: I barely know them Rio: Yeah but it's a nice story Rio: very boy/girl next door romcom Buster: Knowing what you want in the first place is a better story Buster: They wasted years they could've been together Rio: They might not have been right for each other before Buster: If you're right for each other then you are Buster: You do whatever it takes Rio: Maybe Rio: sometimes you can't Buster: They were the only things stopping themselves Rio: So you can't be happy for them? Buster: I didn't say I wasn't Rio: You still want a supermodel wife then Buster: I don't care what she does, it's not about that Rio: What is it about Buster: What she's like, obviously Rio: You have grown up Buster: It's what happens, yeah Buster: Unless you die Rio: Cheery Buster: I told you, I ain't the entertainment Rio: Alright Buster: Don't marry him Rio: I'm not marrying anyone Buster: Ever? Rio: I mean right now, we're 14, for God's sake Buster: You can't marry him now, I'm saying don't marry him when you're old enough to Rio: we've not been going out long Rio: who knows where I'll be or with who when I even think about that Buster: You fancied him back then though, when I was gonna marry a supermodel Buster: I know you did Rio: that's not what I was trying to say with Rio: I don't think I'll marry him Rio: it's just nice for the people it happens to Rio: like your mum and dad too Buster: Probably use an alternative word to nice if you say anything about it to them Rio: I wasn't planning to Rio: not got a deathwish Buster: [😏] Buster: It wouldn't be very cheery, having one Rio: Doesn't mean I'm the entertainment Rio: just polite Buster: Just as well, polite isn't entertaining Rio: If I wanted to entertain you, I could Buster: But you don't Rio: don't I Buster: Do you? Rio: be well weird if I wanted to, wouldn't it Buster: Depends who you ask Rio: You're the only one in this chat Rio: but not in the room Buster: Rio Rio: yes Buster: Do you wanna dance with me or not? Rio: We could do that Rio: that wouldn't be weird Buster: [comes over and we back on that wrist holding bullshit because of course we are, like you could just let her walk over to wherever you're gonna dance but no] Buster: [stop pulling her around boy you'll give yourself away] Rio: [we all know she's so shamelessly #intoit so good luck keeping this casual] Buster: [remember where you are and that your whole family is here please] Rio: [we know we're starting with a pretense of dancing 'near' each other but just keep 'accidentally' touching and getting closer] Buster: [shamelessly love that] Rio: [like you can't outright slow dance can you even if you really wanna] Buster: [we'll let you at the party but there's no chance of getting away with it in front of the fam unless you somehow did a Twilight prom moment outside lol] Rio: [wish some of these kids would take the initiative to 'force' you to like you're getting fake married lmao] Buster: [@Grace it's your time to shine babe] Rio: [god bless] Buster: [realistically her boyfriend is probably gonna appear to dance with her properly and Buster is gonna be livid] Rio: [sadly, yes, neither of us are thrilled but can't be like no I would rather keep dancing with my cousin so, just sadly watching him go over your mans shoulder] Buster: [he has to go punch something that's not this dude's face] Rio: [don't blame you] Buster: [please don't hurt yourself boy, I know you don't care but it is a wedding thank you] Rio: [at the very least, you don't want the drama of the whole fam being like what happened why etc etc] Buster: [genau dr phil] Rio: [even later, like, Tommy and Meena have pissed off time, which is so weird about traditional weddings] Rio: where are you Buster: Why? Rio: just asking Rio: i wanna know Buster: Well don't Rio: sorry Buster: Where's he? I wanna know Rio: he went home a while ago Rio: paper round in the morning Buster: He's tall for a 10 year old Rio: alright Rio: you can have that one on the house Buster: Why can't he get a real job? He's old enough Buster: Older than you Rio: I don't know Rio: doesn't want one, doesn't need one Rio: his family are minted Buster: Who the fuck doesn't want one? Rio: Are you gonna get one? Rio: he's focusing on school, like Buster: What's he focusing on a paper round for too then, cardio? Rio: Probably Rio: why are we even talking about this, it's so boring Buster: Why are you even going out with him, if he's so boring? Rio: do you actually want to know, really Buster: Yeah I do Rio: 'cos it's easy, simple, straightforward Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: what Buster: What do you mean, what? Buster: Can you hear yourself Rio: There's literally nothing wrong with that Buster: If you're a divorced mother of two looking to get back out there Buster: Instead of like, the hottest girl I've ever seen Rio: you can't say that Buster: I can say whatever the fuck I want Buster: I can't do anything Rio: you're Rio: this is a headfuck Buster: It always has been Rio: I know Buster: Yeah Rio: that's why we need easy Buster: Fuck that Rio: fine, be better than me Buster: There is no better than you Rio: Buster Rio: just Buster: I don't care Buster: It's true Rio: we can't do anything with this Rio: what do we do Buster: You should know anyway Buster: How I feel and how I don't Rio: you aren't as good a liar as you'd like Rio: you can't just talk away this, or one of us would've Buster: I mean you should hear it from me Buster: Instead of all the bullshit you have to Rio: okay Rio: I'm listening Buster: When I see you I can barely stay standing but when I don't, I can't fucking breathe Buster: If I was anyone else I wouldn't win the fight, it'd get called off Rio: I miss you, like, I always miss you, since we were little Buster: It's just constant Buster: Everyone acts like it's meant to get better, or worse Rio: we should've grown out of it by now Rio: probably Buster: Don't Rio: I can't Rio: and I don't think I want to, even if I could Buster: I know what I want, I'm not a kid Rio: you want a lot of things Rio: if we Rio: that could fuck up all the rest Buster: Yeah Rio: but Rio: do you ever feel like Rio: if we did, it'd be less obvious somehow Rio: I feel as blatant as you say I am Buster: I don't reckon it could be any more obvious, whatever we do Buster: Is that why your boyfriend left? Rio: Sort of Rio: he wanted me to go with him but I didn't feel like it Rio: for obvious reasons Buster: I'm not sorry Rio: I know you aren't Rio: I don't need you to be either Buster: What do you need from me then? Rio: I want you Rio: to admit you want me too Buster: You said I want loads of things, but none of them matter as much as you Rio: what if no one would talk to us again Buster: I'll talk to you and you'll talk to me Rio: promise Rio: you can't ignore me Buster: You're right, I can't Rio: you do though Rio: so don't Buster: I swear Rio: okay Buster: It will be okay Rio: when have you ever been okay with okay Buster: Touché Buster: Fine, it'll be the best Rio: it would be though Buster: I know Rio: think about it Buster: I've been thinking about it for days Buster: I went to a party last night to try and stop Rio: did it work Buster: 'Course not Buster: I don't want it enough Rio: I don't want him enough Rio: I said it's easy Rio: but it's the opposite, actually Rio: on paper, it should be but when I actually have to do it Buster: You don't live on paper Buster: And you don't have to be with him Rio: we have to try, don't we Buster: We have Rio: how is just seeing you better than anything anyone else has ever done Buster: I'm better than anyone else Rio: you just want me to say it back Buster: That's not why I said it, but obviously you will, when I prove it to you Rio: I wish Buster: [a location that a wedding guest should not remotely be like an office or storage closet or whatever where he's been] Rio: have you been there this whole time Buster: Why is that all you've got to say to me? Rio: You know I'm coming Rio: I started this conversation asking where you were Buster: How long ago did he leave? Rio: not long after Tommy and Meena did Rio: whenever that was Buster: You just wanted to keep me waiting then Rio: that's not what I want at all Buster: Good Rio: you know what I want, yeah? Buster: I know exactly what you want Rio: and you're gonna give it to me, right? Buster: I'm gonna give you everything Buster: Including things you didn't know you wanted Rio: Jesus Buster: Rio Rio: you can say that out loud for me Rio: we've not been that alone in Rio: forever, maybe Buster: We've never been this alone Rio: it's weird Rio: how many memories I have that feel like just me and you Rio: but they couldn't have been, really Buster: 'Cause that's how we wanted it Rio: bit mean, really Rio: but I'm always with my brother and sisters Buster: I don't care Rio: it's hard to, right now Rio: and then Rio: you were more fun Buster: I still am Rio: you can prove that Rio: if I ever escape everyone trying to stop and talk to me Buster: Don't make me have to come and get you Buster: We may have been blatant but we can't be stupid Rio: I know Rio: even if you did make that sound really tempting Rio: unfair Buster: I'll do it, I just want you to know that I know it's not a good idea Rio: I'll be good Rio: but only in a fun way, obviously Buster: You don't have fuck all to prove to me, you know that, yeah? Rio: yeah Rio: a bit though Buster: I'm serious Buster: You've never been boring, not even close Rio: I'm still gonna make this the best you've ever Buster: It will be 'cause it's you Rio: I need you to feel how badly I want you Buster: I've wanted you for so long Rio: how long Rio: tell me Buster: Come on Buster: You know it's always been you Rio: remind me Buster: Any girl I've ever touched, I've never even wanted to unless I'm thinking about you Rio: I can't stop my brain from thinking about you Rio: how much better it would be if it was you Rio: how much I'd rather Buster: Don't stop thinking about me Buster: If this is the only chance we get or if it's not Buster: Whatever happens, whatever I say or do when I sober up Rio: I can't anyway Rio: even if you were the worst person in the world Buster: I have been a cunt Buster: I'm sorry Rio: forget about it Rio: me too Rio: we know why Buster: No, listen Rio: but it's okay Buster: It's not okay Buster: I love you Rio: you can't just take all this back Rio: just 'cos we're drunk Buster: It'll still be how I feel whether I'm drunk or not Rio: I mean you know I'm not going to forget Buster: Good, don't Buster: I'm in love with you Rio: I've imagined you saying that Rio: so many times Buster: It's real now Buster: I mean, it always has been real for me, but I'm actually saying it, no takebacks Rio: [gonna have you turn up now] Buster: [how obviously he would've trashed whatever this room is when he was mad and sad lol] Rio: [just looking at the room then at him 'cos we doing this] Buster: [using whatever to block the door because you haven't waited this long to risk getting interrupted however unlikely that is given how long he's been in there and how far away they are from the wedding shit] Rio: [gonna say it's an office type moment so it can be a desk and you can hop up on that] Buster: [because your height difference is ridiculous and also that's a mood] Rio: ['is this really happening?'] Buster: [kissing her really intensely so she knows it is and let's take a moment to appreciate and contrast that to their awkward childish first one and die] Rio: [when you'd be dying because how good it is confirms everything like oh shit] Buster: [we know it'd be the same for him so thank god you don't have to worry about being quiet because he is the loudest character we have lol] Rio: [if there was ever a time and a place for a first time moment tbh] Buster: [love it for you guys even though he's gonna have to tell her to take off her own dress so he doesn't rip it cos we that extra and peeps would notice that however drunk and oblivious they have been thusfar] Rio: [when you're so 😍 about that though] Buster: [no chill ever gotta start as you mean to go on] Rio: [likewise, just taking the opportunity to tell him everything you ain't been allowed in between kisses] Buster: [same cos he's already dropped the L word before she even got there so we know he can't shut his damn mouth] Rio: [there's no way she ain't saying it back in person] Buster: [I'm the opposite of mad about it] Rio: [when you can't pretend you don't, like it's just all out there now you've started, tomorrow will be interesting] Buster: [good lord I hope at least you can manage to keep the bruises to a minimum/out of sight of the boyfriend she still has because yeah there's gonna be enough to deal with] Rio: [good luck with that lmao] Buster: [gurl you gonna have to work some makeup magic we all know it] Rio: [or just avoid him like we know you wanna] Buster: [please dump him asap though] Rio: [we clearly are and it'll probably be messy 'cos thinks you've liked him for ages and like yeah you been cute but also not really] Buster: [soz boy but also not soz boy] Rio: [you'll survive honey] Buster: [but for them what is the craic like are y'all gonna stay barricaded in here forever or go back to the reception like nothing happened or go home like you have not thought this through] Rio: [you can probably stay in here 'til one of your parents texts like excuse me where are you, and that'll probably be to go home] Buster: [realistically Baze will wanna go home before Ali cos her and Tommy are besties and baze are antisocial bastards lol] Rio: [exactly dr phil, when you just both gotta think about that like okay] Buster: [giving her his jacket cos 1. he wants her to have it because this may never happen again/all the reminders as if you haven't literally left bruises boy please 2. nobody would question why he doesn't have it/she does because the state of them all and the fact it's not an inherently coupley thing to do necessarily 3. if she had to she could say it was her boyfriends because he is also a rich boy and boys suits lowkey always look the same unless you go wild with it 4. that'll give her a reason to have to see him again/strike up a convo which he obvs wants and so do we] Rio: [1. yes 2. yes 3. yes 4. yes that is all, do we wanna have any more drunk chatting 'cos easily could or do we wanna skip to the AM] Buster: [I think we should to show they're not like instantly regretting/ignoring each other cos that's not the mood like all the goodbye kisses as soon as he realises he can't just ignore the fam/actually has to go would be EVERYTHING] Rio: [truly, hence he's barely out the door and] Rio: I miss you Buster: I love you Rio: I love you a lot Buster: I love you more than anything else Rio: You're making me so happy Buster: Good Rio: I wish I coulda gone with you Buster: You are coming with me, just not in person Rio: Yeah, I know Rio: I just like you best in person Buster: I'll see you tomorrow Rio: What are we doing? Buster: Whatever you want Rio: you then, cool 😋 Rio: might be willing to make a more detailed plan in the AM, see how I feel Buster: I'm fine with plan A Rio: It'd be really beyond awkward if you were regretting it already Rio: so I'm glad to hear it Buster: Being forced to leave, not doing it sooner, how I've treated you for the past however fucking long, that shit is what I regret Rio: We'll find time to make up for the lost now Rio: you're here for a bit, yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: Good Rio: it won't be that hard to find time and opportunity to be alone somewhere Rio: can't force family fun on us constantly Rio: they'll be recovering from this majority of the time Buster: They can't force fuck all on me, I came 'cause I wanted to see you Rio: Well, I'm very glad you did Buster: Me too Rio: I swear I'm dreaming Buster: You're not, babe Buster: I can still taste you Rio: Fuck Rio: that makes me weak Buster: Everything you do makes me weak Buster: Just as well you can't tell anyone, like Rio: Who, me? 😏 Rio: I'd rather it was just for me anyway Buster: Yeah, you Buster: You know exactly what you're doing Buster: That dress, for example Rio: If you're going to ignore me, I have to make sure it's as hard as it is for me to ignore you Rio: the smallest but only victory I reckoned available to me Buster: I understand not reckoning I was gonna rip it off you but don't sell yourself too short Rio: so, you're only human, and everyone's looking Rio: but you know I wore it for you Buster: I do, so just this once I'll forgive you for saying I'm only human Rio: 😂 Rio: we can brainstorm what I can call you instead then Buster: Like, if you were disappointed in any of what I just did, you could've just said so Buster: Don't have to humble me that hard Rio: Oh, please Rio: you know what you just did Rio: and that I've not recovered, can't see it happening any time soon Buster: It's taken me years to try and recover from the first time we kissed, I'm not sure you'll find me that sympathetic, given that I never did succeed Rio: I get it, I'm not sorry for that either Rio: even if I should be Rio: only sorry we didn't do it more than once Buster: I should've kissed you every day after that Rio: You should've Buster: You know failure isn't an option for me though Rio: It wasn't a failure Buster: It wasn't good enough, that's the same thing Rio: it still made me feel Rio: everything Buster: But you're flawless, it needed to be perfect Rio: I wasn't any better, it was both our first time Rio: how could you have done any better, at, how old were we even Buster: If I hadn't been a pussy about it then it would've been better Rio: well, I still thought about it every time I touched myself after so Rio: I'm not mad about it Buster: Jesus, don't say shit like that when I can't touch myself at the thought of you doing it, you're supposed to be the one with good manners Rio: but you like it when I forget them Buster: Yeah but there's a time and a place and it's not right now in this car with my entire family Rio: 🤐 Rio: sorry Buster: No you're not Rio: I could be persuaded to be Rio: but I like thinking about it a lot, so it'll take a lot Buster: Tell me Rio: Tell you how much it'll take or how much I like thinking about it and exactly what Buster: Tell me what you like to think about and I'll decide if I want you to be sorry or not Rio: What haven't I thought about you, that's an easier question Rio: all the things I want you to do to me, everything I'm going to do for you Buster: Your boyfriend gives you easy, I know what you actually need Rio: you do Rio: you're better than a boyfriend Buster: I told you, I'm better than anyone Buster: Except you Rio: I'll show you that I know Buster: So how many of 'em did I do, these things you want? Rio: I'm pretty perverted Rio: we won't run out of scenarios or settings any time soon Buster: Is that a promise? Rio: Yes Rio: if you want it to be Buster: I want you here but I'll take that Rio: tomorrow Rio: I'm going to be so desperate for you Buster: Fuck that, I'll call you when I get back Rio: You know I'll still be at this party Buster: So go back to where we were Rio: Tell me when you're back, if I go now I won't be able to wait for you Buster: You don't have to wait for me Rio: I do Rio: I want you to fuck me and yourself at the same time Buster: Have I fallen asleep? Buster: I've definitely had this dream Rio: if you were asleep, I could make you cum Rio: can't be blamed for a wet dream Buster: If I'm not, I'll pretend to be Buster: Only my mum and dad aren't Rio: do you know how to be quiet though, babe Buster: I can do anything Rio: then can you think about me being there with you in the car Rio: tell me how you want me Buster: If you're on my lap I can be quiet Rio: I'll have a lot more bruises to show for it Rio: but I want that Buster: Any sounds I did end up making would only be for you to hear, I know you want that too Rio: They are just for me Buster: They haven't always been, our neighbours have definitely heard me before, but now they are Buster: And they're always 'cause of you Rio: I love how loud you are Rio: I wanna hear it more Buster: Tomorrow Rio: but for now, I can make noise for the both of us Buster: Yeah, be really loud for me Rio: I will Rio: though if I'm on your lap you'll have to try and make me quiet Buster: It's okay, I'll give you my fingers to suck, it'll keep you so quiet Rio: 🥺😳🤤 Rio: please Buster: Say it again Rio: Buster, please Rio: I want you inside me in every way possible at once Rio: you can't be close enough Buster: Fuck Rio: I can almost feel it Buster: Tell me what it feels like Rio: like I can't breathe, can't think, like all I can feel is what you're doing to my pussy, how fucking good it feels Buster: But you can feel what you're doing to me too, can't you? Rio: Of course, how could I not Rio: you're really big Buster: And everyone moves loads in their sleep Buster: I can't be blamed for that either Rio: Not at all Rio: and I can't be blamed that there's no room in the car but on you Buster: 'Course not Rio: though obviously, I wouldn't want a seat if there was one Buster: Obviously, you want what I want Rio: you know I don't have any underwear on, don't you Buster: I can tell Buster: It's allowed to be the one thing you're allowed to make easy, I reckon Rio: I can't help but be easy for you Rio: if you don't like it, you'll have to teach me a lesson Buster: You're so wet that you can easily take all of me but that's my fault, not yours, I can't help doing things that I know you'll really like Buster: Or that I want to give you everything Rio: I'm ready for you, daddy Buster: You love me, yeah? Rio: I love you so much Rio: you're just Rio: you're mine, aren't you? Buster: I'm yours and you're mine Rio: I'm all yours Rio: for always Buster: Forever Buster: It's always been me and you and that's never gonna change Rio: Promise Rio: I need you to stay with me Buster: I'll swear on whatever you want me to Buster: You know I need you more Rio: I'll believe you, because the alternative is not and I can't handle that Rio: I want this so badly, however we make it happen and work Buster: You can trust me Buster: Whatever it takes, I'll literally do anything for you Buster: There's never been a time when I wouldn't have Rio: Don't leave me again, okay Rio: I'm too happy right now Buster: There are no words good enough, I'll prove that I'm not going to with my actions though, okay? Rio: Okay Rio: I do trust you, really, and I do know, knew, how you felt this whole time, really Rio: it's just a headfuck how fast we've gone from the pretense to none at all Buster: I can't remember wanting to go anywhere without you, not for a single day from when my memory starts Buster: It was a headfuck how much of my life revolved around being with you or wishing I could be Buster: But I'm not a kid any more, I'm not scared Buster: And nobody can tell me what to do Rio: I thought I could make your life better, and mine too, I won't pretend it was entirely selfless, if we kept as much distance as possible Rio: that those thoughts and feelings would go away, that it'd be better for you to hate me, even if that fucking killed me Rio: but it just, didn't work, nothing was better Rio: lots of shit was much worse, and I missed you like hell Buster: I know Buster: I've been able to do everything I've ever decided I wanted to and loads of things I just had to, really fucking well, except not love you Rio: you can love me now Rio: shouldn't I be the only person who's say so matters Rio: I want you to Rio: and to love you back Buster: You're the only person who matters to me like that, end of story Rio: we'd be good together Rio: everyone would think so if things were different Buster: You were my best friend too, you know that, even my fucking twin couldn't understand me the way you did Buster: Whenever something happened whether it was shit or good I just wanted to tell you Buster: We were good together, they made things different, took all of that away from me Rio: I know Rio: we can have that again, if nothing else Rio: why shouldn't we Rio: you can tell me anything Buster: Fuck everyone else Buster: I hate them Rio: No you don't, not everyone Buster: Alright, the majority then Rio: 😏 okay, probably Rio: but shh Buster: Don't shh me, you just said I could tell you anything Rio: I suppose I did Rio: you didn't realize I'm a really crap girlfriend Buster: I've already realised that's bullshit Rio: Dan would probably disagree Rio: if he knew, like Buster: Yeah well, he'd love to disagree with me purely for the sake of doing so Buster: And I'd rather we had fuck all in common Rio: I mean, more like the bruises he didn't give me but you know Rio: I'll dump him Rio: when you've gone Buster: That's his own fault, if you were my girlfriend I wouldn't leave without you Rio: I didn't want to go Buster: He should've stayed with you then Rio: I didn't want that either Buster: Behave, you know what I'm saying Rio: I'm just saying Rio: not as stupid as you reckon Buster: Him or you? Rio: him Rio: I don't think you called me stupid, not tonight anyway Buster: Is that why you like him? Buster: It shouldn't be, 'cause if anything he's stupider than I reckoned for not being willing to put up a fight for you Rio: No Rio: it's just, I already knew him, when we came back properly Rio: didn't really know anyone else Buster: And you already fancied him Rio: not really Rio: he was cute but Rio: you didn't put me on your list either Buster: I could've told you puberty wasn't gonna do him as many favours as me Buster: I'm not that stupid, babe, then or now Buster: I know I can't marry you Rio: it was just a game Rio: you could've pretended Buster: I don't wanna pretend with you Rio: Do you even want all this Rio: you know, the wedding, the church Buster: I want you Buster: Nobody's gonna let us celebrate it by buying us toasters and champagne flutes, but if we could, I would Rio: yeah Rio: it don't matter Buster: We still belong to each other Buster: And I still choose you Rio: I'd rather have you than any of that Buster: It doesn't have to be either/or Buster: It can't look like theirs but we can do whatever we want in secret Rio: you're so cute Buster: I'm just saying, if you want something I'll get it for you Buster: Whatever it is Buster: I'm not your shit boyfriend, I don't give up Rio: you don't need to get me anything Rio: just stay in my life, that's all Rio: even if you have to marry a supermodel Buster: If I can't marry you, I won't get married Rio: it's a deal Buster: Okay Rio: I love you, Buster Buster: I've missed you so much Rio: I know Rio: I haven't even asked how you've been Rio: what you've been doing, 'cos it's been forever Buster: Don't Rio: I don't wanna know or you don't wanna say Rio: or both Buster: You already know Rio: but you're alright, yeah? Buster: I never settle for just alright, do I? Rio: you know what I mean Buster: What do you want me to say? Rio: you don't have to lie Rio: tell me how I can make it better though Buster: It is better now Buster: Like I said earlier, you don't have to worry about me Buster: Even if it wasn't better, I can handle that Rio: 😔 Buster: Come on Rio: 🥺 Rio: okay Buster: Please don't be sad Rio: I just can't think of you being sad Buster: I'm not any more Buster: I've got you Rio: it'll be better Rio: I'll look after you Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Rio: I swear I don't even know half the people who are still here Buster: You should be here with me Buster: This house is so fucking quiet Rio: I could easily change that Rio: maybe we can have a sleepover one night Buster: We can Rio: like old times Rio: but better Buster: I won't headbutt you this time, like Rio: 😂 Rio: I appreciate it Buster: Did I ever do anything right as a kid or what? Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Plenty of things Rio: we know there was more stopping us than any awkwardness that happened Buster: Yeah Rio: but fuck that now Rio: they've got no right or need to know Buster: Don't worry, I've learned from my parents what not to do Buster: We won't get caught Rio: neither of us is stupid Rio: I want you too bad to fuck with it Buster: All we have to do is keep things the way they used to be in front of everyone Rio: we've kept it up for ages Rio: at least now, we know it's 100% fake Rio: no doubt Buster: Exactly Rio: You do have to come back more though Rio: or I'll die Buster: I'll think of a reason Rio: Use your big, educated brain, boy 😜 Buster: An idea'll come easily once you're not distracting me Rio: not even sent you any pictures Buster: Me either Buster: But I should shower so Buster: Maybe I will Rio: How many pleases do I have to say to make that maybe a definitely? Buster: Let's see Rio: 🙏 Buster: You have to say it though Rio: Hmm, emojis aren't gonna cut it, noted Rio: Pleeeeaaaaaase Buster: Like you mean it Rio: Insincerity either, okay Rio: Please though Buster: Please, what? Rio: Please send me pictures of you Buster: [does obviously] Rio: More Buster: [he's extra so you know he will] Rio: you're perfect Buster: For you Rio: only for me Buster: Yeah Rio: all for me Buster: I'm all yours now Rio: not gonna take any pictures of my face 'cos I'm just 🥴 now Buster: You're beautiful Rio: That's you Buster: It's not a competition, thank Christ Rio: Awh, baby Rio: I'd let you win Buster: You winning means I win Rio: then you're so welcome Buster: Good Rio: [sends pics from the desk] Buster: We're gonna have to break back in before I leave Rio: or find another desk Buster: I'm looking at one right now, trying to decide whether or not it would break Buster: You'll have to tell me what you think, when you come over Rio: oh Rio: or we could just try and hope for the best Buster: Okay, I'll protect you if it does collapse Rio: I know you will Rio: you love me Buster: And you trust me Rio: with my life Buster: I'll never let anything or anyone hurt you Rio: Only you Rio: and only how I like it Rio: 'cos you know me better than anyone Buster: Some of those bruises are gonna be there after I've left Rio: mhmm Rio: they need to be Rio: I need all the reminders we can get away with Buster: You can have as many as I've got time to give you Rio: you're so lovely 🥰 Rio: I'll take pictures every day, show you how they're healing Buster: Don't forget Rio: Never Rio: when they've nearly disappeared, you come back, yeah Buster: 'Course Rio: 🧡 Buster: Rio Rio: yeah? Buster: Tomorrow, things won't just go back to the way they were before, will they? Rio: I can't do it Rio: I seriously can't Buster: You know I mean everything I've said, yeah? Rio: Yes, and I'm not going to forget any of it Buster: Please don't Rio: I promise Buster: I'll say it all again if I have to but Rio: How could I forget Rio: when I've wanted to hear all of this for so long Buster: You know why Rio: but we can do it Rio: we can keep this secret Rio: I can't go back, can't do what we were Rio: I was bad at it Buster: We both were Buster: And you know how much I fucking hate being bad at things Rio: So, jump with me Rio: you can't keep one foot on the ledge, like Buster: That a dare? Rio: I'd rather you want it, if it's all the same to you Rio: but I can't say I'm above it Buster: You're all I want Buster: The rest, it's not just for me Rio: then I'm yours and that's all there is to it Rio: we'll work out logistics in the morning Buster: If you aren't still there, like Rio: 🙄 Rio: the twins are 💤 in the coats Buster: My dad had to carry Ava in, she wasn't waking up for anything or anyone Rio: Don't blame her Rio: I'm about my ma's size but don't reckon I'm getting away with it Buster: Are you tired, baby? Rio: You know I am, its your fault Buster: I can carry you tomorrow Rio: I'm gonna dream about it Buster: If I can fall asleep, I will too Rio: I'll make sure you do first Rio: manners, babe Buster: I don't think that's the reputation I want though Rio: who am I telling suddenly 🤨 Buster: Not the point is it Rio: You don't need to prove anything to me Rio: there's nothing you haven't already, like Buster: There's always more to prove Rio: I won't complain Rio: show me how good you are so I can't ever forget Rio: 🤤🤤🤤 Buster: [a video because we starting as we mean to go on as being extra bitches] Rio: BABY Buster: I told you Rio: but Rio: that's not allowed Buster: Are you complaining after you said you wouldn't? Rio: No Rio: What's the opposite of complaining? Buster: So you approve? Buster: I'll take the praise then Rio: My nan will love you even more Rio: got me on my knees Buster: Another reason to keep the secret as I obviously can't risk losing her admiration Rio: Obviously Rio: though I'd love the chance to get her to hate me more Buster: We can do that Rio: can we? Buster: You know me, trouble follows me anywhere, it's not limited to Chelsea's confines Rio: Stop tempting me, but don't ever Buster: It's a deal, babe Rio: You have no idea how bored I was without you around Buster: Yeah I do, I've had to entertain myself Buster: Nobody else can come close to keeping up Rio: well you are very entertaining Rio: so I'm jealous of you, if anything Buster: You and everyone else who has had the privilege of meeting me, like Rio: 😏 Rio: you're adorable Buster: Seriously though, all the girls I was talking to earlier were so fucking boring Rio: earlier today or in general Buster: I meant earlier, as in when you were busy with your boyfriend, but it's not any different in general Rio: Hmm Buster: What? Rio: Nothing Buster: Come on Rio: Really, nothing Buster: Bullshit Buster: Say what you wanna say Rio: I just don't like thinking about it Buster: It's not something you have to think about any more Rio: I know, just being stupid Buster: Don't Buster: You're not stupid Buster: I shouldn't have said it, I just meant that I'm lucky to have you Rio: I really know, ignore me, well, ignore that Buster: No Buster: 'Cause if I ignore it you'll still be thinking about it, but without telling me that you are Buster: Then I can't make you feel better Rio: I don't want you to think I'm like that though Buster: Would you rather I think you don't care? Rio: No Rio: you know I do though Rio: but I'm not a crazy bitch, or only a bit Buster: I wanted to kill your boyfriend as soon as I saw you with him, I don't reckon there's any room for me to judge Rio: that's what I wanted though, at least partly Buster: I'll happily kill him for you, it'd be easy Rio: 🙄 that is NOT what I meant, let the record show Rio: asking you to commit murder seems like a further down the line deal tbh but appreciate the level of commitment, baby Buster: Let the record show that I'm planning to say he started it by smacking me with a newspaper Buster: And also that I know exactly what you actually meant Rio: 😂 Rio: point is, it's only my business if you make it so, and you didn't bring no plus one so Buster: You wouldn't have been jealous if I had Buster: It's too obvious that I don't give a shit Rio: I definitely would have Rio: it doesn't take much, not with you Buster: Maybe but so would whoever this hypothetical girl is 'cause wherever you are is the only place I'm looking Rio: Risky Rio: lucky boys aren't that bright usually Rio: or maybe no one's mind goes there, you know Buster: If hers had it'd be easy to turn around, but gaslighting isn't really my idea of a fun night Rio: can think of better Buster: You and me both Rio: though now isn't the perfect time for vivid fuck flashbacks as it looks like my mum might actually be ready to go Buster: I reckon you meant to say that actually there couldn't be a more perfect time Rio: damn, payback is swift Rio: I just forgot you were in the car with your fam, I swear 🤞 Buster: [hitting her with all those reminders of everything that happened in such glorious detail because he is that bitch 100% like okay if your memory is that 'unreliable' don't forget that this or this happened] Rio: like Rio: I deserved that but I don't deserve you Rio: oh my God Buster: You deserve more Buster: [Hitting her with everything he's gonna do to her tomorrow because 100% that bitch too] Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: I want you now Rio: be here Buster: I'm here Rio: Make me feel better Buster: [we're obvs going in even harder with what it would be like if they were actually together rn, he may not have jimothy's way with words but the enthusiasm and urgency are unparalleled] Rio: I'm gonna need your fingers again Rio: or my lips are gonna be unholy big from the bruising Buster: Then you better take 'em Buster: Or I'll have to just kiss you everywhere else tomorrow Rio: can't I have both? Buster: 'Course you can Rio: You spoil me Buster: You deserve that too Rio: I am being really good Buster: How good? Rio: My legs are crossed and my mouth is 🤐 Rio: you'd be proud Buster: Oh I am Buster: I'm very proud of you, baby Rio: Daddy 😖 Rio: you're making me squirmy Buster: No, keep still Rio: I'm trying so hard Rio: but every time I think of you kissing me all over Buster: You're gonna need to try harder until I can actually be there to keep you still myself Buster: Do it for me now and no matter what, I won't stop kissing you when we're back together Rio: I'll do it Rio: not do it, actually Rio: hands to myself, I promise Buster: You know I trust you Rio: I wanna cover your whole face in kisses Buster: I love kissing you Rio: we can do it all day, can't we Buster: Yeah Rio: I'll never get tired of your face Rio: you're so pretty Buster: It's been so hard not to look at you Rio: you're going to struggle even more now you've seen everything Buster: I know Rio: I can send you pictures of how I'm really looking underneath Rio: make it even harder 😋 Buster: Can you? Rio: Right now? Buster: Right now Rio: [the sneakiest of partial nudes you can manage rn] Buster: Jesus Rio: if Edie was 💤 I could do better but Buster: It's even hotter that you did that even though she's not Rio: You told me to Rio: I'll do anything for you Buster: How early can you meet me? Rio: Depends what we're doing Rio: separately or otherwise, 'cos that changes the answer Buster: My mum and dad won't be keeping tabs on where I'm going or who with Rio: Mine either Rio: but I don't usually go out with my friends at the crack of dawn, sadly Buster: Haven't you ever accompanied him on his paper round? Rio: No, I'm not losing beauty-sleep for that Rio: but I will pretend to, that's a good idea Buster: You should get some actual sleep then Rio: no Buster: Behave, by the time you get home it'll almost be time to leave again Rio: but if I'm bad, you'll have to come get me sooner, right? Buster: Keep doing what you're told, you know that's what'll get you what you want the soonest Rio: Alright, I'll try Rio: even though I feel drunker than I am 'cos of all this Rio: high, like Buster: Me too Buster: The way I feel now, I reckon I could stay awake the full week I'm here and not have any regrets about it Rio: like I literally wanna be with you all the time Rio: I missed so much time with you already Buster: Fuck it, we'll stay up Buster: You're better than a load of lines, I won't even need 'em Rio: we can get 'em, if you want Buster: Do you want to? Rio: I'm not just saying no, like Rio: might need 'em, could be fun Buster: Okay Rio: Ryan'll get it, give him a shout when we wanna Buster: 'Course he will Rio: ? Buster: The cunt thinks he's in love with you, you do know that, yeah? Rio: he's just full-on Rio: probably all the coke Buster: No, he's full on and in love with you Rio: he can't be, we've barely had a 1x1 chat in our lives Buster: Like I said, he thinks he is Buster: He don't have to know you well for that Rio: well anyway, he gets decent gear, that's all that matters, yeah Buster: So I won't beat the shit out of him until after he's handed it over, fine Rio: your schedule is too full to be beating up anyone, 'scuse you Buster: It'll barely take a second Rio: second too long, sorry Rio: I'm that needy Buster: Is Edie asleep yet? Rio: Lemme see Rio: you know when you 👀 someone too hard and it's like they feel it then they're 👀 right back Rio: she always does that, so gotta be sneaky about it Buster: I always thought Nance or Junior were doing that but every time they were actually just sleeping Rio: Seriously Rio: slightly worrying how much they could sleep through Rio: but also good to know 😏 Buster: It only seems like they slept shit loads 'cause we never did Buster: I was fighting it until the last second so I could spend more of them with you Rio: Me too Rio: I don't even feel like that kid anymore, most of the time, thinking about what you said Rio: maybe it doesn't mater but I know I miss it, shit was simpler, if not perfect Buster: It's alright, I remember her, in spite of what I said, and I know she's not gone Rio: Maybe Rio: I think Eds is asleep Buster: Definitely, when you smile at me it's the same one Rio: You'll make me emotional Buster: I don't mean to Rio: I know Rio: just not used to this Buster: What? Rio: It just isn't like this, wasn't Rio: it's just been different, with any boyfriend I've had Buster: Different how? Rio: It's hard to explain Rio: like, they're nice but it's like, shallow, surface level Buster: You don't have to explain, I know what lads are like Rio: more than that though Rio: like it just didn't mean very much to me Buster: You wanted to hear it from me Buster: I'm sorry that I made you wait until tonight Rio: It was worth the wait Buster: You are Rio: You're special Buster: You'll make me emotional Rio: It's okay, baby Buster: I'm not used to feeling any of this Rio: me either Rio: we can slow down if we need Buster: No, I'm not gonna fuck this up Rio: You won't Buster: I can't Rio: No, you can't Buster: I won't lose you again Buster: I wouldn't be able to handle it Rio: Buster, it won't happen, I can promise that Rio: that is the last thing I want, I couldn't want anything less Buster: I'll make sure you don't ever want that to happen Rio: likewise Rio: you won't need anyone else for anything Buster: Unless I wanna have a fight, like Rio: you don't think I can hold my own? how rude Buster: I taught you everything you know, 'course you could Rio: maybe I learnt some new moves since Rio: try me 👊💋 Buster: Well there's no danger of you throwing a newspaper at me, you already told me you haven't been out delivering Rio: Oh my God, it's not MY paper round, let me live 🙄😂 Buster: Get a better boyfriend and I will Rio: I've told you I'm dumping him Buster: Yeah Rio: You really want me to get another one, yeah? Buster: Don't Rio: I don't want another boyfriend, you know that Buster: Nobody but me Rio: No one else, ever Buster: I've deleted them all Buster: Every girl I was talking to before Rio: I love you Buster: I need you Buster: It has to be you Rio: It's me Rio: I'm for you and that won't change Rio: 'cos I always have been Buster: It's not just that I've not felt like this before, it's that I know I won't ever again Buster: For anyone but you Rio: That's how I feel too Buster: If I have to lie every weekend to come back and make this work, I will Rio: There must be a decent excuse Rio: some school-related bullshit that they'll approve of Rio: I'll put my less sleepy more sober brain to it Buster: Me too Rio: what are you doing, are you in bed? Buster: [a bed selfie that he doesn't mean to look adorable in but does cos snuggly] Rio: oh Rio: why are you so sweet Buster: Am I? Rio: 👼 Rio: that's what you look like rn Buster: Well then, I could say I'm going to your nan's church every Sunday Rio: 😂 it's well believable you've found God Rio: if you were actually a good boy she'd probably 💀💀 so double win Buster: Yeah cheers, I've had a religious experience Buster: Now I know what heaven feels like and how hot angels are, I'm converted Rio: Shut up 😏 Rio: God really does do it for 'em, though Rio: they all compete over who can make the best cakes for pastor Rio: dread to think how many of 'em he's having affairs with Buster: Or seeing someone who is everything they'd disapprove of, that's what I'd do if I was him Rio: I don't think you should change your career plans, babe Buster: Religion is less of a career, more of a hobby Rio: is if you're faking it Rio: wonder if they'd go in for that on your uni apps though Buster: Definitely would Rio: you're welcome Rio: +points for multiculturalism if you go to my nan's church Buster: I'll see you there Rio: what's in it for me? Buster: Getting to share a hymn book with me Rio: 🤔 Rio: tempting, I'll definitely think about it Buster: Tempting is me in my church clothes, obviously Rio: Okay, I can't deny that Rio: you looked so good today Buster: You look so fucking good every time I see you Buster: But you should post more, it's really frustrating when you don't Rio: Yeah? Rio: How frustrating? Buster: As frustrating as when you walked away from me earlier and I wasn't allowed to stop you Rio: That bad Rio: that was like Rio: painful how much I didn't want to Buster: Almost as bad as dancing Buster: It's painful any time I can't look at you or touch you Rio: I just wanted to dance with you like anyone else could dance with their partner Rio: but more, obviously Buster: We'll go out before I leave Buster: Do it properly Rio: then we can dance EXACTLY how I wanna Rio: which will be way more frustrating but then we can find some dark corner and you can do something about it Buster: Like I said, I'm having a religious experience Buster: 'Cause that sounds like heaven to me Rio: I can be your angel Rio: if you keep blessing me Buster: You are Rio: You're fucking godlike, baby Buster: If I had the power, you'd be here with me right now Rio: I can be Rio: I can't speak to you Rio: still in the car Rio: but you can give me your sermon, like Buster: Everyone's definitely asleep, yeah? Rio: except the driver Buster: Well yeah, but if his eyes ain't on the road, you're at risk of more than getting caught Rio: He's not looking at me Buster: Good Rio: Please, daddy Rio: let me hear your voice Buster: [we calling and we all know what's up and that it'll be fire so that driver better be chill] Rio: [Ali will be keeping a motherly snoozy eye really she's not that shwasted and irresponsible] Buster: [we love you gal] Rio: [no shame from you two though, from the off] Buster: [literally start as you mean to go on, running so JJ can walk tbh] Rio: [tbh x2] Buster: [you've felt bad about it for long enough lads, I don't blame you for having no shame now] Rio: [you can feel bad when everyone finds out, for now the secret is yours lads] Buster: [they gotta eventually fall asleep together on this phone because literally their thing, we'll wake you when you get home gal] Rio: [absolutely Buster: [do we wanna do our skip in this convo or a new one?] Rio: [hmm, let's do it in this one] Buster: [how are we even gonna lol] Rio: [maybe she hangs up when she gets home 'cos he's snoozing and she doesn't wanna wake him but that wakes him up?] Buster: [good idea] Buster: You're home Rio: Yes Rio: you're meant to be sleeping Buster: No, I'm meant to be staying awake with you Rio: it is unacceptable how perfect you look when you're asleep Rio: how dare you Buster: You look perfect whatever you're doing Buster: I'm not mad Rio: Good Rio: because I'd just hate to have to make it up to you 😋 Buster: I'm spoiling you, remember Buster: Not the other way round Rio: How could I forget when you're so good at it Buster: I won't let you Rio: how did you get me to sleep so fast Buster: Just that good, babe Buster: Like you said Rio: too good for anyone else Buster: Yeah Buster: They don't deserve me Rio: I'll do everything to keep being deserving Buster: You don't have to do anything Buster: You're just that good too Rio: 🥰 Buster: I'm so glad that I'm gonna be able to get to know you again Buster: Properly, like before Rio: It'll be good Rio: to have someone to really talk to and trust Buster: You don't feel like you have that? Rio: it's different Rio: like I have my friends and we can go out and have fun and talk about the day to day Rio: and I've got Mum and June and the girls Rio: but I look after them, I'm not bringing my shit to them, you know Buster: Yeah, I know what you mean Rio: just being the oldest, isn't it Rio: and moving somewhere late, when everyone's been friends for years, it's just not going to be that deep Buster: Exactly Rio: You get it Rio: you're the only childhood friend I have, really Buster: You've got Nance too though Buster: She's not constantly with your brother, to her dismay, like Rio: Yeah, that's true Rio: you know you're different Rio: in lots of ways, not just the obvious Buster: She's probably not secretly in love with you as well, granted Rio: 😂 Don't Rio: I know it doesn't make logical sense Rio: that it'd be the same Rio: but it wouldn't, it's weird to even think that about her Buster: It wouldn't be the same, like you said, in so many ways it can't be Buster: I've always felt like this about you and it's always made sense to me Buster: Why wouldn't I? Rio: I don't see why it's so bad Rio: if someone gets with their childhood sweetheart, people don't say it's fucked up 'cos they 'grew up together' Rio: that's why it's so lovely, you know Rio: we weren't in the same house, we weren't literally raised together day to day in the same way by the same people Rio: maybe I've just talked myself into thinking it's okay because I want it to be but I don't care Rio: if no one knows, no one is getting hurt Buster: It is okay, it's not like you're my sister Buster: That'd be fucked Buster: I saw you less than most people see their childhood friends, which you're right, nobody would have a problem with Buster: If you got with that kid who dared us to kiss, for example, everyone would think it was well sweet and he was a little cunt so Rio: Little cunt is a bit harsh but I see your point 😏 Buster: We've established your memory is unreliable Rio: You wish Buster: He wishes 'cause then you could've ended up with him Rio: I'll have to hunt him down and break the bad news Rio: god knows where he is Buster: Don't Buster: You'll only refuse to let me beat him up either Rio: You can't beat up everyone who's ever known me, babe Rio: I'll never see you Buster: Just the ones that fancy you Rio: Past tense Rio: unless he's really kept it going all these years, which would be slightly worrying Rio: in that case, you might have to Buster: Unless he's had a serious brain injury or a gay awakening it'd be present tense again as soon as you tracked him down Rio: you make me feel so Rio: good Rio: in all the ways Buster: You're flawless, I keep telling you Buster: Fucking beautiful, smart, hilarious, really caring, even to me when I was being a bigger cunt than that kid Rio: that doesn't mean I can handle that without melting into a mess of Rio: I don't even know Buster: I can easily handle carrying you, we also established that, so don't worry Rio: I want it Rio: carry me to the bathroom and take off my makeup because I can't be bothered Buster: Leave it, I'll do it for you for real Rio: You don't care the state I'll be if we do that? Buster: No, 'cause you won't be in one Buster: Flawless is flawless Rio: well, don't say you weren't warned then Buster: I don't need to be warned that your skin isn't naturally shimmery, I'm not an idiot Rio: You're perfect, that's what you are Buster: You do remember where I live, right? You wear less makeup than any other girl I've ever met Rio: 😂 Rio: so many girls at school I wanna politely come at with a makeup wipe Rio: less is  more Buster: I've literally had to throw shirts out and all we did was dance Rio: Don't get me started on the shades of tan Rio: I don't know who they think they're fooling with that orange orange Buster: Ava's gonna start on all this shit soon Buster: Fucking hell Buster: I actually won't have time to beat up any lads for you, sorry Rio: I understand Rio: you have a few years though Rio: get some practice in Buster: It's Chelsea, I'm lucky she ain't already started Rio: it's depressing really Buster: She shouldn't be growing up here Rio: it's not consolation to say I think it's much of a muchness everywhere but Rio: you just worry about them, regardless Rio: Billie don't wear makeup ever but it's not like she don't give me grief still Rio: just different ways Buster: Yeah Rio: not lecturing you though Rio: you know Rio: didn't have to beat up boys for Nance and it's still stressful, yeah Buster: I still do, just for different reasons Rio: That hasn't got any better then? Buster: No Rio: I thought she seemed pretty off Rio: she's gonna have to do something about it, or your parents are for her, a big something Rio: current approach clearly isn't cutting it and you can't be expected to shoulder that Buster: She won't do fuck all about it Buster: That's what our fight was about Rio: Ahh Rio: it can't be easy, like it won't be, whatever she has to do Rio: but neither can her day to day, surely Buster: 'Course it is, stop rolling over and taking it, easy as that Rio: for you Rio: if she knew how to do that, wouldn't even be an issue, like Buster: I've told her what to do Buster: If she stands up to them instead of being such an easy target, it'll stop Rio: some people just ain't made like that Rio: if she fucked it up, it'd make it worse, right? Buster: She's a McKenna we're all made like that Rio: My brother ain't like that either Buster: It's different for him Buster: Only having sisters and no proper dad Buster: He still wouldn't let anyone say or do the shit Nance is letting them get away with without at least getting your mum involved Rio: He isn't how he is because of any of that Rio: that's just who he is Rio: and he just chooses to not fully be that with outsiders so they have nothing to say Buster: Alright, I'm not having a go at him Buster: I can't when I'm as bad Rio: I know Rio: and I get the frustration at her, I really do Rio: just don't reckon going on the offensive with her is gonna help at this point is all Buster: She ain't talking to me so there's fuck all I can do anyway Rio: She will Rio: give her some space whilst she's here, she should chill Rio: and we can too Buster: I wasn't gonna invite her along with us, like Rio: Would be a bit rude Rio: and counterproductive to all our plans but Buster: Where are we going? Rio: everywhere worth going, obviously Rio: but tomorrow specifically Rio: 🤔 Buster: Today specifically by now Rio: Oh yeah Rio: God, I'm gonna be knackered Buster: I'll take care of you Buster: Starting with taking your makeup off Rio: maybe we could just pay for a cheap room somewhere Rio: spend the whole day just taking care of each other Rio: can always go somewhere in the PM Buster: It's not gonna be cheap, who am I? Buster: Do you want a pool, babe? Rio: It can't be that expensive or they won't let me in 😂 Rio: but we could splash out on a pool for a day, like Rio: my funds stretch that far Buster: You don't need any funds Buster: And shut up, you've never looked any less than 5 star worthy Rio: you can't pay for everything Buster: Yeah I can Rio: You know what I mean, boy Buster: I know you can't stop me Rio: Buster 😒 Buster: Baby Buster: We're not fighting about it Rio: I'll get us food and 🍾🥂 Rio: then I'll say okay Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Buster: Do you wanna sleep? We can set the same alarm and then I'll come pick you up Rio: We should, that's a good idea Buster: Or I could just leave now Rio: I could sneak you in Rio: but could you sneak out Buster: Again, who am I? Buster: There's nothing I can't do Buster: Especially when it's that easy Rio: You'll have to prove that you can keep quiet again 'cos there's no way we're leaving until you've fucked me Buster: With that kind of incentive I really can do anything Rio: 🥰 Rio: I'll be waiting then Rio: everyone here is dead to the world, will be for hours Buster: Have a nap, I'll wake you when I'm almost there Buster: Put your phone under your pillow, like Rio: Okay Rio: I'll try Buster: Good girl Rio: that doesn't make me wanna leave you Buster: Shhh Buster: Close your eyes Rio: I mean, you can't make me Rio: 😋🤭 Buster: Not yet Buster: But if you know what will happen Rio: We are supposed to be quiet, you're right Rio: if you're not up to punishing me and keeping me quiet, then I'll just have to be good Buster: Don't underestimate me Rio: Never Rio: I'm just telling you what I want Buster: I ain't forgotten Rio: 😶 me Rio: I'll be good now Buster: Yeah? Buster: 'Cause if I have to call you right now and tell you to be, you're in actual trouble so Buster: Really think about that Rio: 😖 Rio: best behaviour Rio: gonna really think about what I've done Rio: how to make it up to you Buster: You've got loads of time Rio: tell me about it Buster: [does tell her about how she can make it up to him in glorious detail obviously] Rio: FUCK Rio: be here so I can be really, really nice to you Buster: On my way Rio: but Buster: I know, this is why you need to sleep, then it'll feel like I'm there sooner Rio: but won't you be lonely without me, daddy? Buster: Yeah but before tonight I always was Buster: I can handle it Rio: I hate that Buster: It's okay Rio: no Rio: but it will be, from tonight Buster: Rio, listen, you can't promise me that and you don't have to Buster: I can handle it, I don't want easy, remember, and neither do you Rio: Maybe I can't Rio: but you won't be lonely, I can promise that Buster: You can't stay up forever, you know Rio: neither can you Buster: I'll sleep when I'm back Rio: I can keep up with you Rio: you said as much Buster: Yeah, I did Rio: There we go then Rio: don't fight me, babe Buster: How else am I gonna see those new moves you mentioned? Rio: we can fight like that Rio: just don't be mean to me Buster: I'll be nice Buster: You'll see Rio: but me first Rio: you've earnt it Buster: So have you Buster: And I'm stronger than you Rio: 🤤 Rio: can't be mad about that Buster: You won't be Rio: you make me feel small Rio: in a good way Rio: safe Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause you are safe Rio: Of course Rio: no reason I wouldn't be Rio: but it's still a nice feeling Buster: Like how you make me feel less alone Buster: I wasn't technically Rio: Yeah Rio: it's just Rio: right Rio: I've had boyfriends, so I can say Rio: it doesn't feel like this, just because of that title, supposed closeness Buster: I don't need a girlfriend to know it's right Rio: I wouldn't like that Rio: if you did Buster: Me either Buster: But I know that's what some people would say, if they found out Rio: it's not like you haven't slept with other girls though Buster: That's different to giving a shit about other girls though Rio: I guess Rio: but how much did I, how much do most people our age Buster: You care about everyone Buster: It's not just part of your night same as having another drink or line Rio: but I care about you more than I have any of them, that's my point Buster: And mine is, from on outside perspective it looks like you've tried harder than me Rio: I get it Rio: you can try Rio: like that Rio: if you want Buster: No Rio: I'm just saying Rio: if you need to Buster: Don't say things like that Rio: I have to Rio: I'm not going to let you not be sure Buster: You think I'm not? Rio: No, I think you are Rio: but I need you to know you've got the opportunity to test it, if you do need it, at any point Buster: I need you, that's all Rio: Okay Buster: Yeah, it is Buster: I'm not gonna change my mind and nobody's gonna change it for me Rio: I won't either Rio: I love you Buster: Your name was there among the first load of words I ever learned, don't forget that Buster: I've loved you my whole life Rio: you'll make me cry Buster: Don't cry, I'll shut up Rio: Don't Rio: you say all the things I wanna hear Buster: I wanna make you happy Rio: you do Rio: this is Rio: beyond happy Buster: No crying then Rio: I can't help it, baby Buster: I know but I can't hold you yet Rio: I won't cry when I see you Buster: You're only allowed to do that kind of shit when you're walking down the aisle Rio: Understood Buster: If we can't get married, you can't cry when you see me Rio: unfair Rio: but not your fault Buster: Yeah it is, I really want all the presents Rio: 😂 Rio: Exactly Buster: Not to mention, if you look that fucking good as a guest Rio: That's just dangerous Rio: less trying not to cry, more dying to get back down the aisle as quick as humanly possible 😍 Buster: I'm fine with dangerous, you know that Rio: I will not be fine with keeping my hands off you Buster: So touch me Rio: in front of the lord and the pastor? Rio: not to mention the guests Buster: I don't care Buster: Do it Buster: Whatever you want Rio: oh Rio: that's fucking hot Buster: It feels like ages since we last touched each other, which is bullshit 'cause before tonight it'd been years, and every part of me knows that, but Buster: I hate that I'm not already there Rio: It's true, it's hard to stop once you start something Rio: especially when that something feels as perfect as this does Buster: I'm gonna have to just live here Rio: If only Buster: You'll hide me, yeah? Rio: of course Rio: you know Chelsea will miss you too hard Buster: Clear out under your bed, like Buster: 'Course, I'm all that place has going for it Buster: Other than the coke being decent and abundant, I'll give 'em that Rio: and your school Rio: even if our system is better Rio: does any school here have the same 'connections' 🤔 Buster: They can get a new Head Boy and I can succeed anywhere Buster: Even catholic Rio: 'course Rio: you're a very good boy, after all Buster: I look like one anyway Rio: 👼 Rio: Okay Rio: come live in my bed Rio: under it Buster: Okay Buster: Sneak me in Rio: You're here? Rio: 🤩🤩🤩 Buster: I mean, I could have the wrong farmhouse, it's been a while Rio: I know you wanna see Dan that bad but that's really mean, babe Buster: Fuck's sake, he's literally the boy next door Buster: Hilarious Rio: I'm so glad you think so Rio: dunno if it counts as the trope if there's a shit ton of farmland between Buster: You really did want that love story, yeah? Rio: Shh Rio: I want you Buster: Make me Buster: 'Cause I want you so bad right now Rio: [Let him in gal] Buster: [don't give them away 🐈s we sneaking] Rio: [at least like Crim, they probably shout all the time for no real reason lol] Buster: [yeah always playing and chasing each other and being cray] Rio: [live for that danger] Buster: [we all know it because there's no way he's not making out with her the second she appears like just wait boy] Rio: [at least your mother is drunk and your sibs will be asleep/could think it was her boyf like mind ya business for a sec everyone] Buster: [Ali is probably asleep too at this point like it's gotta be early AM af] Rio: [we ain't having y'all get caught this quick lol] Buster: [imagine lol #gameover] Rio: [by the grace of god, you're so extra always] Buster: [literally carrying her upstairs as we speak so we rest our case] Rio: [live your best life lads] Buster: [is gonna actually take her makeup off for her and it'll be such a MOMENT bye] Rio: [the intimacy, bye] Buster: [when you do still look beautiful af though he's not even just hyping you] Rio: [like you never wear foundation or any shenanigans 'cos don't need] Buster: [we all know that moment will turn into him kissing her everywhere ever which will turn into every Simon x Alisha gifset ever] Rio: [god bless, get you a man] Buster: [it makes me lol like I don't remember it being such a thing when I watched the show but he's just always doing it appaz] Rio: [when you about that life] Buster: [Buster is so thanks for that blessed content] Rio: [I want 'em to fall asleep for a hot sec for that risk of peeps waking up for the day, like they should be fine but just 'cos 1. it's cute 2. we playing with fire always] Buster: [1000% approve for all those reasons and also it's believable like they literally have not slept and are drunk so] Rio: [exactly] Buster: [we know y'all are exhausting yourself with your antics] Rio: [only so hard you can front] Buster: [The effort of trying to be quiet in itself would kill you both so] Rio: [chatty caths] Buster: [mhmm] Rio: [when you can feasibly make more noise than him 'cos it could be Daniel so you're shamelessly using that to your advantage like you know he ain't gonna get you back later] Buster: [the perils of that posh boy accent] Rio: [loling imagining one of 'em like ew but typical and then being like wait...is that] Buster: [you're not getting rumbled today boy shut your mouth] Rio: [you can and will go ham in the hotel] Buster: [and it'll be fancy and you'll live your best lives just try not to break the bed as you have a habit of doing] Rio: [start as you mean to go on I reckon] Buster: [what do you think should wake them up like a toilet flush or something so you think its later in the morning than it is?] Rio: [that sounds legit and the kinda thing that would make you panic] Buster: [I know it's a big secret and everything but fairplay for waking up cos I would not] Rio: [lol hard same] Buster: [at least they can look at their phones and realise it's not 10am or whatever time they think it is and calm down] Rio: [back to not giving a fuck real quick] Buster: [should we let them go back to sleep or make them leave?] Rio: [I vote it's late enough that you could go get coffee n breakfast somewhere before you can check in] Buster: [and it feels like a mood to be like let's leave rn if they were shooketh and don't wanna risk it happening again if they fall back asleep] Rio: [exactly, you may as well tbh] Buster: [have a sleepy snuggle whilst you're doing the longest car ride back to civilisation lol] Rio: [that'll be a nice moment] Buster: [all the softness forever thank you] Rio: [nice throwback to the very first time we did 'em and they had that soft af coffee morning] Buster: [yaaaas but you don't have to wear Nance's clothes this time babe, you're welcome] Rio: [would be a very weird flex] Buster: [Christ knows what Buster is wearing though cos he would've got changed after the wedding when he went home but I doubt it was into a lewk because you were meant to be sleeping and I doubt even more than you got changed again before you then left your gaff] Rio: [we keeping it casual today] Buster: [we know they both look great anyway] Rio: [when do they not] Buster: [it's rude] Rio: [no wonder you lowkey wanna repopulate the earth] Buster: [love it for you] Rio: [think they have the most kids now p sure] Buster: [they do though gutted its not the 11 you OG wanted lads but it is still more than Ali which was the goal so] Rio: [we not falling into that trap again lol] Buster: [unless a face is literally perfect we mustn't] Rio: [cheeky gal] Buster: [do we want anything to specifically happen that we need to write down or do you just wanna leave this here like] Rio: [we can probably skip I reckon]

[hollymartinswrites]

Chapters: 10/? Fandom: IT - Stephen King, IT (Movies - Muschietti) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh Characters: Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier, Ben Hanscom, Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough, Mike Hanlon, Original Child Character(s) Additional Tags: Fix-It, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Domestic, Light Angst, Family Feels, Childhood Trauma, Adoption, Kid Fic, Adopted Children, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Marriage, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier Are Parents, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Catholicism, Richie Tozier Has Issues, Extended Tozier Family, Medical Examinations, Stephen King References, The Shining References, Doctor Sleep References

Summary:

Eddie and Richie embark on the most terrifying experience of all—parenthood. Or, the author desperately needed a domestic, family fix-it for Richie and Eddie and it turned into a much longer, angstier exploration than I expected.

Chapter X: Richie and Eddie are taught a valuable lesson by their eldest daughter.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Eddie was silent for a long moment and Richie worried he was about to call the whole thing off when he suddenly nodded once. Richie exhaled a shaking breath.

“Okay,” he said and dialed the number on his phone. It rang several times, both men holding their breath, until a generic voicemail message began speaking. “Shit.”

Richie hung up.

“That’s definitely the right number?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah. Should we try again later?”

Eddie shrugged.

“You could leave a message, I guess,” he muttered. “I still feel weird about this. Maybe we should do a background check on this guy.”

“We’re not inviting him to our house, Eds.”

“Yeah, but people can find things pretty easily nowadays.” Eddie sighed. “Has Tess mentioned anything to you about this...shine thing lately?”

Richie shook his head.

“She’s been pretty normal,” he said. “She did cry the other day when you left for work but I think that’s because she didn’t sleep well the night before.”

Eddie ran a hand through his hair.

“And why’s it called a shine?” he muttered to himself. “What the hell does that mean?”

Richie shrugged.

“Sounds cooler than just saying, I have weirdass powers I can’t explain,” he offered.

Eddie sighed and shook his head.

“Let’s wait a while and then we’ll try calling him again,” he said. He made as if to leave the room when he paused suddenly. He turned back to his husband. “The other day, when you had her show me her...shine...she said she didn’t want to because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Do you know why she said that?”

Richie frowned and shook his head.

“I figured it was just because you’re her favorite,” he admitted.

“Shut up, she doesn’t have a favorite,” Eddie replied tiredly. “You gotta get that shit out of your head.”

“I know, I know, I’m just kidding,” Richie said, sounding like he was definitely not kidding.

Eddie leaned down and kissed him gently.

“You’re too old to let your self-confidence be dictated by a four-year-old,” he murmured.

“Hey, I accept the fact that I’m second-choice, Eds.”

“Well, you’re first choice for me, dipshit.”

Richie wanted to crack a joke about technically being his second what with Myra being there first but he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut and enjoyed Eddie’s kisses.

Laundry was one of the few chores that Richie actually enjoyed. Aside from the occasional pukefest (he had learned early into parenthood that kids apparently can only puke in the messiest, Regan-in-The-Exorcist-style manner), it wasn’t that gross, and it was therapeutic to see a full hamper emptied and neatly folded clothes on the bed, ready to be put away. Plus, the smell of freshly done laundry was one of the best smells in the world and he could always convince one of the girls to help him with folding—so long as he put the TV on as they did so.

He was carrying a bag of freshly done laundry down the hall, wondering if Tess would let him choose what to watch as they folded when he heard hushed voices from her room. He paused. Now, little kids did tend to speak aloud to themselves, especially when playing, but this sounded...different.

He gently placed the bag of laundry on the floor and took a tentative step closer to Tess’s door, which was slightly ajar. Concentrating, he could just make out Tess’s young voice, speaking excitedly to no one. Holding his breath, Richie took another quiet step closer and listened carefully.

“I know,” Tess said happily, “I saw. And I’m getting better at it.”

Richie frowned. No one was responding and unless someone had managed to break in and not set off their house alarms, he and his daughter were alone in the house. And Tess, like Lydia, always provided multiple voices when playing alone with their dolls. Now, she fell silent, as if listening to a response only she could hear.

“I know,” she repeated, “thank you. I’m doing so good.” She suddenly laughed. “That’s silly, Abra!”

Breathless and with his heart pounding, Richie rushed towards the door and abruptly pushed it open. Tess jumped, startled.

“Tess?” he asked, breathlessly.

She suddenly looked around her room and pouted.

“Papa, you made Abracadabra go away!” she exclaimed sadly.

“I did?” Richie said, gazing around himself. Her room looked the same as always. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she shrugged. She lifted her coloring book and showed him the page she was working on. “Like it?”

“Yeah, great job,” he offered gently. He sat beside her on her bed and tried to decide how best to ask. “So...you were just talking to Abracadabra?”

“Uh-huh,” Tess replied, stretching out on her bed and flipping to a fresh page to color.

“What did...what did you guys talk about?” he asked casually.

She shrugged.

“Stuff.”

“What kinda stuff?”

“Ummm,” she said, “school and my shine and stuff.”

Richie nodded. Tess reached up to him with a crayon. He smiled, warmed by her natural kindness, and took it, leaning over to color with her. They were both silent for a while, content to merely color the page. Richie swallowed before continuing, “So, um, what does Abracadabra look like?”

“Like a girl,” Tess replied, selecting another crayon.

“A girl like you? Your age, I mean?”

She shook her head.

“No, bigger,” she said.

“Like Lydia?”

“No, bigger, I think.”

“A grown-up?”

Tess furrowed her little face before shaking her head again.

“Okay,” Richie said. “And she’s nice to you?”

“Oh yeah,” Tess replied, smiling, “she’s my friend.”

“Good, that’s good,” Richie replied. He fell silent and watched his daughter color happily. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

She nodded.

“Yep.”

“Hey,” he said gently and, with his free hand, tenderly lifted her chin so her eyes met his, “I mean it. You never have to be afraid to tell me or you Dad anything. We love you no matter what.”

“I know,” Tess replied, a mildly confused look on her face.

Richie gazed at her for a long moment before nodding.

“Alright, good,” he said. “You wanna help me fold the laundry?”

“Can we watch Wizard of Oz, too?”

Richie huffed a laugh.

“Yeah, kiddo, come on.”

Richie placed the last folded washcloth on the towering pile of laundry and leaned back. He reached down and reclined in his seat, once again grateful that he had convinced Eddie to spring for the reclining couch last year (though Eddie had insisted they were for old people). Once he was comfortable, he lifted his arm and Tess snuggled up against him, her arm thrown around his middle.

She sighed happily.

“You good, kid?” Richie asked.

“Uh-huh,” she said. She squeezed her arm around him. “I like this.”

“I like this, too,” Richie replied, his heart overflowing with love. She’s finally warming up to me, he thought.

“Yeah,” Tess said. “This is comfy. You’re soft.”

That startled a laugh out of Richie.

“I’m soft?” he repeated, glancing down at his daughter.

“Yeah,” she said. “I like it. Makes you comfy.”

Richie grinned.

“So I shouldn’t try to lose weight and get muscles?” he asked playfully.

Tess looked up at him, frowning.

“No way,” she said quickly.

Richie laughed and leaned down to kiss his daughter on the top of her curls.

“I love you, kiddo,” he said gently.

“Love you, too,” she replied, then brought her finger to her lips. “Shh.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, you’re right,” Richie said and turned back to the TV, where Glinda was singing. Richie wondered how many times he had watched this movie since adopting Tess but figured it was a lost cause. Well, at least it was better than most of the crap they call family films today.

Dorothy and the Scarecrow had only just met the Tin Man when the front door opened.

“We’re home,” Eddie called.

“In here,” Richie replied. Tess cuddled in closer against him.

Both Eddie and Lydia entered the living room, Lydia rushing ahead and breathless.

“Papa, I—ugh, this movie again?” she groaned.

“Tess helped me with the laundry so she got to pick what to watch,” Richie explained.

Lydia rolled her eyes. “We watch this movie all the time,” she pointed out.

“Lyds, I thought you were going to tell everyone what you got today at gymnastics,” Eddie said, trying to get her back on track.

“What’d you get?” Richie asked.

“Shh!” Tess hushed.

Lydia pouted as she glared at her sister. Richie sighed and picked up the remote, pausing the movie.

“Hey!” Tess exclaimed.

“Your sister has something to tell us,” Eddie said, raising an eyebrow at Tess, which only resulted in her pouting, too. “Go on, Lyds.”

Lydia, still a slight frown on her face, opened her rainbow tote bag and pulled out a colorful piece of paper. She held it out for her father and sister to see.

“What’s this?” Richie asked, leaning over as he read it.

“Says I’m the best listener,” Lydia mumbled, no longer excited.

“And most improved,” Eddie said.

“Hey, that’s great, kiddo,” Richie said happily. “You’re gonna be the next Simone Biles. Or even better than her. Not that it’s a competition or anything but...you know.”

Lydia smiled shyly and shrugged.

“Can we put the movie back on now?” Tess asked.

“How about you say congrats to your sister first?” Eddie offered.

She turned towards her sister.

“Congrats, movie now please,” she said quickly.

Lydia’s smiled disappeared. She turned towards Eddie.

“I told you she wouldn’t care,” she exclaimed. “No one cares!”

“Hang on, sweetheart, we all care,” Eddie said, reaching out towards her.

“Yeah, that’s awesome,” Richie insisted. “Tess is just being fussy.”

“Am not,” Tess shot back, annoyed at the insinuation.

“No, she’s being a brat,” Lydia declared.

“Lydia,” Eddie said firmly, “that was unnecessary. Your sister isn’t a brat. Apologize.”

“No,” she replied, suddenly sounding very near tears. “It’s not fair. She is so a brat because you guys love her more than you love me!”

Both men blinked at her in shock and Lydia clearly took their silence as confirmation because she continued, “You only care about Tess and her stupid shine thing. It’s just not fair! I’m special, too!”

“Of course, you are—”

“And she is so a brat, a big one!”

“Am not!” Tess insisted, now thoroughly riled up.

“Are so,” Lydia replied. She pointed at her sister, curled up against Richie. “You’re a big brat and Daddy only loves you because of your shine. That’s it!”

Tess instantly burst into tears, hiding her face against her father’s shirt and wailing. Lydia blinked and, before either of her fathers even had the chance to catch up to what just happened, ran out of the room, down the hall, and slammed the door of her bedroom closed.

Richie and Eddie stared at one another.

Over Tess’s head, Richie mouthed the words, “What the fuck?”

“Okay, so how do we handle this?” Eddie asked, his hands flying as he paced around the living room.

“How am I supposed to know?” Richie asked.

“You have sisters,” Eddie pointed out. “Wait, call your sister. See how she deals with shit like this with her kids.”

Richie sighed and glanced down at their youngest daughter, asleep on the couch. After a thoroughly intense crying session, only calmed down by both her fathers assuring her she was not a brat and they loved her equally and deeply, Tess had done the helpful thing and passed out. Frankly, Richie thought that most of the world’s problems could be solved by naps but they still had a pissed off Lydia to deal with and she was not one for naps.

“I think we need to talk to her together,” he offered.

“And say what to her?”

“I don’t know, that we love her?”

Eddie paused and ran a hand through his hair.

“I think we need to punish her for flying off the handle like that,” he said.

“Well, Tess kinda was being a brat,” Richie observed, wincing when Eddie shot him a disdainful look. “But yeah, okay, name-calling is a punishable offense.”

Eddie sighed, his shoulders slumped.

“Maybe if we can just get them to apologize to one another,” he murmured.

“Perfect, no punishments necessary,” Richie said, standing from the couch, careful to not disturb his sleeping daughter. “Come on, we’re in this together.”

“What, right now?” Eddie asked, wide-eyed.

“No, let’s keep our daughter in her room for a week, see how it goes,” Richie replied. “Yes, right now. Don’t be a baby.”

“Hey, no name-calling,” Eddie shot back. “She clearly learned that behavior from you.”

“Yeah, like you’ve never called me names,” Richie said, rolling his eyes. “You barely call me Richie.”

Eddie looked as if he was about to reply but thought better of it. He merely scowled as he followed his husband down the hall. After a moment’s hesitation, Richie knocked on Lydia’s bedroom door.

“Lyds, we’re gonna come in, okay?” he said gently. “We gotta talk.”

“I don’t wanna,” came the muffled reply.

“Well, that’s too bad,” Richie sighed. “We’re coming in.”

“But it’s my room!”

Richie couldn’t help it. He smiled.

“I tried that line with my parents many times,” he said as he twisted the doorknob. “It didn’t work in the 80s and it won’t work now.”

He opened the door and he and Eddie gazed at their daughter, sitting on her bed with a tear-stained face. Her arms crossed over her chest and her bag and its contents spilled across the floor. Richie felt oddly small in front of her angry, disappointed stare. Luckily, Eddie—already familiar with staring angrily and disappointedly—stepped up to the plate.

“Lydia,” he said gently, slowly walking towards her, “I know you were hurt but you can’t call your sister a brat.”

Lydia huffed and looked away.

“Look, she was wrong, too, and once she wakes up, we’re going to talk to her,” he said quickly, “but she’s still just a little kid. She doesn’t always know better.”

“That’s not fair,” Lydia muttered.

“I know,” Richie replied, rubbing his neck as he remembered his own tear-filled arguments with his sisters growing up. “I have a big and a little sister. Growing up, nothing seemed fair.”

Lydia glanced at him but quickly looked away, tightening her arms across her chest. Richie stepped towards her and sat beside her on the bed.

“Look, kid, it’s not easy being the older sister, I get that,” he offered. “And I know this family has been a bit...focused on Tess for the last few months but that’s just because we need to make sure you’re both safe and healthy. Not because we love one of you more.”

Lydia wiped at her eyes and sniffed.

“But sometimes,” she whimpered, “sometimes it’s like you guys don’t even know I’m here.”

Richie had had his heart broken several times in his life and each time he had thought it was the worst feeling in the world. Now, as he gazed at his daughter wiping away her tears, he knew all those other times had been bullshit. He fell silent, unable to put his troubled thoughts into words.

“Lydia, you’re our first born,” Eddie said, crouching down in front of her. “You think we’d ever overlook or forget you? Do you know how important you are to us? To this family?” Lydia hesitated before shrugging. “Your dad, sister, and I would be lost without you,” Eddie stated firmly, taking her hand.

Richie stared at the two of them, awed. Maybe it wasn’t Bill who had the way with words.

Lydia sniffed again and smiled softly.

“So we’re sorry if we ever made you feel that way,” Eddie continued. “But you need to say you’re sorry to your sister, too. And we’ll make sure she apologizes to you, too.”

“Okay,” Lydia sighed. “‘M sorry.”

Eddie stood and leaned down to kiss her on her forehead.

“Clean up your bag and come into the kitchen for lunch,” he said. “Rich, wanna help me?”

Richie blinked, stood, and followed his husband out to the kitchen.

“You handled that like a fucking champ today.”

Eddie glanced up as he tapped at his tablet.

“What?” he murmured.

“With Tess and Lydia,” Richie clarified, putting away their laundry in their drawers. “You knew just want to say to Lyds. I fucking froze.”

“You didn’t freeze,” Eddie replied. “You were good with her, too.”

Richie shrugged.

“I looked at her and just couldn’t...couldn’t find the words,” he sighed. “It was like looking at myself as a kid and I couldn’t even say anything.”

“Richie,” Eddie said, lowering his tablet and gazing at his husband, “you did good. You’re too hard on yourself.”

“I don’t know,” Riche mumbled. He looked over at Eddie and smiled gently. “Remember how nervous you were back when we first started looking into adoption? Look at you now. Fucking father of the year.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and smiled.

“You’re overreacting,” he said, shaking his head. After a few moments’ silence, he glanced up at Richie. “What are you staring at?”

“You, dipshit,” Richie replied, grinning.

“I thought we said no name-calling,” Eddie shot back, a smirk on his face.

“For the girls, yes,” Richie answered, walking over towards Eddie. He took his husband’s face in his hands and kissed him deeply. Eddie moaned softly against his lips and Richie was just about to move his hands to his waist when something started buzzing. “Fuck, is that your phone or mine?”

“Yours,” Eddie sighed. “Over on the bureau.”

“Ugh.”

Richie got up and hurried across the room.

“Whoever it is, tell them it’s after 9pm and we don’t take calls now,” Eddie said.

Richie grasped the phone and lifted it, his stomach clenching when he saw the unsaved New Hampshire number on the screen. He stared at it as it buzzed in his hand.

“Who is it?” Eddie asked.

Richie looked up at his husband, his hair disheveled and his face so sweet and inviting.

“No one,” Richie replied and placed the phone back down before returning to Eddie.

#reddie #reddie fanfic #it chapter 2 #richie tozier #eddie kasprak

[niennavalier]

OC Ramble Time Pt 2!

Okay, so I'm gonna try to keep these a bit shorter (because the other post took way too long), since I'm gonna do a bit of talking about some of the other characters who are attached to the Disaster Boys (Anders and Alex) story and all that good stuff. So... just jump right in I guess?

Elias Elsker: So pretty much, if you read my whole thing about Anders, Elias is the kid that he takes in. He's real energetic and fun, very open while simultaneously being really awkward (not that it really bothers him). Honestly, he's just really friendly and loves people - animals, too (he's learned a bit of magic and usually has his snake familiar, Xanathar, somewhere nearby). (If you know D&D lore, yes, that's a reference, because Elias also started as a character for me to play. Arcane Tricksters, y'know?). Also impulsive, albeit not in a super self-destructive way. More like his cost-benefit analysis is just bad and sometimes he just does something kinda dumb. He's also pretty jumpy and very prone to running into furniture when his brain goes into panic mode.

Overall, he's just well-adjusted. Yes, he lost his parents young, but he had a good relationship with them, and then also grows really close with Anders. Just wanted a character who didn't have a bunch of issues for once, yknow?

For some other random facts: I tend to write him at either 16 or 21ish, depending - sometimes I wanna write him still learning from Anders, sometimes while he's more out on his own. Also, he's ace and some sort of romantic (AKA, he doesn't fully know and hasn't put a label on it, but if I were to say as the author, he's probably panromantic) and really fun to write/play for those relatable ace moments.

Aishah Rayyan: Alex's twin sister, so I won't go into her backstory in depth, except to say that she came out of their tragic past really differently. She got pretty much adopted into her best friend's family, so while Alex was having a rough time, she ended up having a relatively normal life - albeit with some guilt over losing contact with her brother, and, well, the effects of childhood trauma and the like. She and Alex reconnect over the course of whatever plot I actually write for them, and after all of whatever that is, they and all their other friends (talked about down below) end up all living together. And in that dynamic, she's 100% the mom friend. But less doting and more Tired. She's generally pretty laid-back, practical, and would love a quiet night in with loved ones, but ends up in this constant state of "please stop blowing up [insert kitchen appliance here], I haven't even kind of had enough coffee for this." At least before probably trying to fix the problem, until her girlfriend shepherds her to bed. (And that's assuming she's not hyperfocused in on something, because sometimes that's just what happens. Given a problem, she's gonna solve it).

(Oh, and quick note, she's the other old character who's since gotten reworked. Old tag was for "Taylor Fairfax" but then, unlike with Alex, she went through a pretty massive edit.)

Celine: Nope, no last name yet because names are hard, but she's Aishah's girlfriend. She's about the same age, just a little younger, and an aspiring theatre actress. She's really outgoing and warm, charismatic and super easy to get along with. More than a touch dramatic. Also a lot more traditionally feminine than most of the other female characters I write, and sort of the other resident mom friend, but...I guess in the more stereotypical way? (And she's really vocal about her support for Anders and Alex in particular - she finds them adorable and is one of few people who's never been intimidated by Anders. She just sees how he melts in front of people he cares about).

Oh, also, she and Aishah met at some sort of community theatre performance. The story that their friends tell is basically that in the middle of a scene, as she was on stage and Aishah was in the audience, their eyes just met, and that was it. Obviously, in reality, it wasn't that simple, but there are a lot of meet-cute vibes there.

Valon: Okay, now we get into the territory of my lovable idiot children (which, kudos to whoever knows where I'm stealing this particular name from. If you do, uh, you'll definitely know why this character is the way he is). Aishah's childhood best friend, and the one whose family adopted her. Also the one who's largely responsible for pulling her a bit more out of her shell. He's... just a big dumb idiot? Real big personality, constantly ribbing all of the people he's around and cracking jokes, just likes the energy of being around people in general. Always down to try something new and ridiculous, no matter what it is, even if that means destroying electronics (or the oven). And bluntly honest, but not in a mean way?

Also, he's bi and is pretty often just going out on casual dates for fun. Just sorta waiting to see what happens. But really, he's much more proud of Aishah's love life, though, and gladly takes credit for being the one to get her to ask Celine out.

(Oh, also, cause it was vaguely referenced above: he's the one who was - and is - intimidated by Anders.)

Arina "Ari" Varellian: My other idiot child, but also the character that I probably relate to the most? She grew up around a lot of technology as a kid and developed a good amount of skill with it (coding and stuff - I know nothing about it but she can, it's fine). But what it ultimately did was introduce her to a lot of other pieces of media - video games especially (but also TV and movies are a big part of her life, too). Basically, she's just a glutton for entertainment and fiction and keeps up with all the nerd content.

But she doesn't fall into that "introverted, awkward nerd" type. She gets along really well with Valon, actually - very similar type of big, open personality and always ready with a hearty laugh. She's just here to have a good time, and to try new things (and to force her friends to try new things with her). Basically, she's the person who would go looking for a way to learn parkour after playing something like Assassin's Creed (because it looks cool) or would - and did - plan an entire camping trip after playing Red Dead 2 (because the outside is pretty, guys). Plus, also dragging them into things like escape rooms and D&D games, because these things looked fun.

And, because this is important to me, she's aro ace and very much a way for me to write my perspective? All the "what's up with sex when you could have cake? Or dragons?" and "look, these characters are pretty but why would I sleep with/romance them?" While simultaneously making sex jokes at her friends' expense and shipping fictional characters like there's no tomorrow.

And that's all for today!

The main other characters attached to my Disaster Boys. Tried to keep it short because I'm sleepy, but, as per usual, I could and would gladly talk more about them later (even though some of them do sorta vary in terms of how much I've written and developed them).

Although, a couple last things: I've technically also been sitting on one more character to add into this crew - specifically another friend of Ari's. But I've done markedly less development there, so I'll come back to that some other day. And there are other characters attached to Anders aside from just Elias, I promise. He does have his mentor (whom I mentioned but didn't go into, since I tend to write her more into backstory) and his own found family, but some of those characters belong to a friend, cause that all developed via some D&D sessions. Didn't seem right to add that here.

#from the mind of niennavalier #oc: elias elsker #oc: aishah rayyan #oc: celine #oc: valon #oc: ari varellian #100daysofwriting #and if anyone has some interesting last names hmu i need help #also fun fact i havent played read dead but ive seen pictures so thats what im going off of

[thenerdytomboynewb96]

Samantha Allan Park Ch. #39

Any references to TMNT or anything from popular media and culture is NOT MINE. I only own my OC's. Any references to “TMNT Out of the Shadows” DO NOT BELONG TO ME. Only my additions that I came up with myself belong to me. Anything from the films or other series ARE NOT MINE, only my OC’s and my ideas that I have added onto the story FOR FUN. Thank you.

Chapter #39

Sunday June 7th, about 3:00p.m. Still in Venezuela, about to depart back to New York

It took Donnie about 20 minutes to track a route that lead to an airport where the group could secretly board another cargo plane. It was the sketchiest thing the group had ever done since they were basically traveling and boarding the plane in broad daylight. They found some tarp and covered themselves as Donnie, being the quickest, ran over to an abandoned cart the workers drove to transport extra luggage to the plane. The group boarded the cart under the tarp as Donnie quickly drove towards a plane he knew was leaving for New York (he knew this by hacking into the airports computer system and tracked which planes were leaving for where and when). Mikey continued to carry a paralyzed Sam, though she was slowly gaining back her ability to move, but it was extremely slow. It wasn’t until 2 hours after the plane took off, about 5p.m. when Sam could officially move again. She thought this would be a reason for the boys to be happy, but this actually ended up causing more tension. Once she was able to move again the four brothers began arguing with one another, each brother blaming the other for something they did wrong during the mission whether it be something general or something in regards to Sam’s safety. The arguing went on for what seemed like forever. It was now 7:30p.m. and the brothers were still arguing with each other. They were all so focused on their harsh words towards one another that no one had picked up on how weak Sam had become despite gaining back her ability to move.

“You think standing on the sidelines makes you some kind of hero?” Raph bellowed towards his youngest brother as they stood towards the further back section of the crowded plane. Sam had walked over and was about to lean on Raph’s arm because of how weak she felt, only for him to walk away right before she did so. He was so furious with his youngest brother that he didn’t even notice how weak his female friend looked as she stumbled and managed to catch her balance as she awkwardly leaned on the wall. “You can’t just push past me like that bro!” “You were being a nitwit! You were gonna lose that thing!” “I wasn’t!” “Yes you were!” “No I WASN’T!” The two continued to yell back and forth at each other, getting closer and closer as they both moved their arms and hands to convey just how upset they were with the others words. The only thing that got the two to stop was when they heard Donnie shouting even louder than they were. “I had it in my hand! I had it right in my hand and you acted as if I wasn’t even there!” he shouted at his oldest brother who was sitting ahead of him. Just like his other brothers, Donnie was very physical as he verbally announced his frustration. And then just like him, Leo communicated the same way. Leo shook his head as he spoke. “It’s not my job to make your presence known, alright? Get out of your head and communicate” Leo announced roughly to his brother, punching his fist in his hand as a sign of how frustrating it was for him that Donnie acted the way his brain told him to but without letting the others know what exactly he was doing (in this case, specifically telling Leo what it was he was doing before the two collided in the water). Donnie rolled his eyes and walked away and sat down as he crossed his arms across his chest. He was so annoyed with his older brother’s words that he didn’t notice that Sam had slowly made her way over towards where he was standing and went to lean on his shoulder before he moved away. Sam stumbled down onto the box below her, but landed so that it looked like she had meant for the landing to be so clumsy. Leo was so annoyed that he didn’t notice how weak Sam looked and also overlooked her clumsy seating. Raph huffed from the back. “Well what do you expect? He’s all logic and no skills.” Mikey scowled at his red bearing brother. “Coming from the guys who’s all instinct and no restraint” he said, swinging his arms in front of him to diss his brother. Leo waved his arm as he stood up and stormed past Mikey. “What do you know about anything? You’re all heart and no brains!” Sam had been walking over towards Leo, but he had already stood up and stormed off towards the other side of the plane (attempting to sit away from his brothers but failing because of how tightly packed this plane was compared to the other). Sam just stood there. Her back was to the guys so none of them noticed, but her eyes began to close. She wasn’t blacking out because of her powers, but because her body had just pushed itself to great limits that day in general. She was about to fall backwards when Mikey caught her. He was the only one who had noticed her stumbles and as he held Sam now he carefully pulled her with him so that she was sitting next to him. He put his arm around her and nestled her in so that her head was resting on his shoulder.

Meanwhile, the rest of the brothers were still arguing. “How could you?” Donnie asked in a gasp. “You may know a lot about strategy but you know nothing about feelings.” Raph scoffed as he turned around. Leo bit his lip before turning to face the rest of his brothers. “Fair enough. You wanna know what I’m feeling?” he asked as he turned so that each brother met his gaze at least once, “we may be brothers, but we are NOT a team.” Mikey rolled his eyes and then looked back down at Sam. “Whatever man. If you’re gonna insult us some more then at least keep your voice down. Sam’s trying to sleep” Mikey bit back in a low voice. This caught Donnie’s attention and he darted his gaze towards the girl leaning on his brother. “She’s not sleeping Mikey she passed out. Sam!” Donnie said as he quickly walked over and kneeled down in front of the duo, snapping his fingers in hopes that Sam really was just sleeping and that he was being paranoid. Leo’s glare had softened into a concerned gaze as he watched Donnie start checking for Sam’s pulse and pull out his flashlight to check her eyes. Raph, who had been angrily pacing in the back, now stood completely still as he also watched his brother look after Sam. Donnie moved back and sighed as he clicked the mini flashlight off. “I don’t think she has a concussion or head trauma or anything serious like that. Her body’s probably just so exhausted it clocked out on her.” “She shouldn’t have been part of this” Leo and Raph oddly said at the exact same time. Donnie was extremely upset at hearing this, and he could tell that Mikey felt the same way based on the glare he had aimed at the floor in front of him. “We’re dropping this now” Donnie said in a cold tone. His voice wasn’t high, but it wasn’t a whisper. The neutral tone told the oldest two that now was not the time to share their complaints, and the fact that Donatello had switched from pouting to this bitter tone signaled how upset he truly was.

After this, the rest of the plane ride had been quiet. This was mainly because the boys were all furious with each other and were trying to remain calm after literally arguing for over a couple hours, but it was also because they were waiting for Sam to show signs that she was okay and wake up. It was mere minutes to 9:00 when the plane would be landing when Sam finally woke back up. She stirred slowly and was shocked to see the boys sitting silently and still like statues. This, plus Michelangelo’s soft and kind expression when she woke up, made her think that the storm of hateful words had passed. Little did she know, what happened earlier was just a short preview of what was to come later on.

After the plane landed, the group caught a break to dash to their truck’s hiding spot. They finally arrived back at the lair at about 9:40p.m. This was where the real “fun” began. Sam was feeling rejuvenated as she traveled back to the lair with the guys, but the voice she heard made her sick to her stomach from nerves. As the group made their way into the central part of the lair, sitting on the couch drinking tea with Splinter was Jay. As soon as the two sets of human eyes connected, the tea cup was set down and Jay was fuming as he rushed over to his sister. “Where THE HELL have you been!? Oh sorry Sensei” Jay said as he quickly bowed to the wise rat. “At ease my child” Splinter said with a kind smile. “I’ll let you handle this amongst my sons. I’m going to go to meditate” he stated as he walked towards his room. He wanted to allow this time for Jay to complete his “parenting” on his own. “What’s going on?” Leo asked in confusion since Sam had stated she called Jay and let him know what she was doing. “Sam where’s your phone?” Jay asked sternly. “Uhhhh-it’s in this backpack” she said, pointing to the bag on her back, “it’s dead though-” “WHY?!” “Because I used the chargers for Donnie’s machines.” She turned to see Donatello staring wide-eyed at her, not happy with this answer. Jay covered his mouth with both of his hands and closed his eyes as he sighed. “Do you have any idea how many times I called you?” “Well I just said-” “11 TIMES. 11 times Sam. I’ve been calling you for hours. What the hell is this about breaking into police headquarters? A-and-and flying to Brazil?! What the hell have you been up to?! Where have you been?!” “Oh you gotta be kidding me” Raph scoffed out loud as he turned wide-eyed towards Sam (all his brothers looked at Sam this way now). Sam gulped. “Oh now you’re worried huh?!” Jay shouted in frustrated excitement. “Tell them Sam. I want you to tell them right now.” Sam looked down at her feet as she talked. “So, I did call Jay and I told him about what I was doing…over voicemail” she said, muttering the last part. “OH MY GOD” “WOOOOOOOW” The four turtles were saying one or the other of these two phrases as they all threw their hands up in the air. “Sam” Jay said softly. “Yes?” Sam muttered. “You’re grounded.” Sam groaned. “For two weeks.” “What?!” “Absolutely no friend contact. That means no sports, no dance, and definitely no lair” Jay said as he violently shook his head. “Well that’s unfair because that’s just punishing these guys” Sam said in a cocky tone. She assumed at least Mikey would back her up, but this did not happen. “We’re cool with it” he said calmly as he shrugged his shoulders. “Dude?!” Sam said as she glared at her best friend. This set the turtle off. “You LIED to us Sam! You lied to me! Straight to my face!” Mikey began shouting as he jabbed his finger between himself and the girl in front of him. “I called Jay-” “And it went to voicemail! Which he didn’t get until after we left! You never told us that and you know the deal!” “Oh you mean the baby deal that I don’t get a say in?” “Are you serious right now? Do you hear yourself?” Raph roughly cut in. “Are you seriously getting upset because people care about you?” “Let her act that way” Leo cut in, “She’s staying back next time, regardless of what anyone else says.” This last comment was aimed towards Donnie who had gone against Leo’s orders in having Sam stay back in the first place, and like the genius he was, Donnie picked up on this instantly. He slammed his hand down on the table. “You wanna play this game? Alright, tell us how you really feel Leo. Since you’re so perfect and can’t mess anything up. LET’S GO!” “You said she could help and then you totally took advantage of her” Leo bit back. “HOW?!” “You kept making her do things that pushed her over her limits. Like why the hell was she under the plane?” “To help push it up!” Donatello acted out his actions as he spoke. “To keep it in the air! To prevent us from dying! And she did a freaking awesome job hence us still being alive!”

At this point Jay was sitting back and watching the brothers argue. He wanted Sam to see how much turmoil the brothers were in because of her decisions, but he was also curious as to where this argument was heading and what would be revealed. “So what, you couldn’t solve the problem on your own?” Leo barked at his brother. “Are you seriously blaming me for not finding a way to stop gravity? Then again, I’m nothing but brains and no skill” Donnie said as he glared at Raph before glaring back at Leo, “so I guess I’m supposed to just alter how all physics works. Because that’s all I’m good for, right?” “Dudes cut it out!” Mikey shouted. “Sam was fine when she helped with the plane. The real problem was her 3 blackouts.” “Dude you don’t have the right to say anything since you didn’t help anyone ever” Raph said as he pushed Mikey to the side. “And those blackouts never would have occurred if we hadn’t jumped out of a plane” he said, again, using his words to jab at Donatello. “Well if you would have jumped when I said to then Sam wouldn’t have had to save your wimpy ass!” Donnie barked back. “And if you hate my plan so much then complain to Leo! He’s our perfect leader so next time let him make every decision! I mean his is the only one that counts, right?” “I’m the leader! I figure out strategies and decide who’s intel works best and when-” “TOTAL BULL!” Mikey shouted. “You do what you want, whenever it pops into your head! You can’t call Donnie out on not communicating when you’re the exact same way! You think of one strategy and then boom-bye Leo! See you later!” “At least I move and do something! Every time I looked back you were goofing around! You couldn’t even hold onto the device for 2 seconds before it popped out of your hands” Leo scolded. “That’s no fair! We were all being thrown around!” “Well you need to learn to defend yourself you dork!” Raph shouted. “You’re such a dimwit you couldn’t even warn me that a box was heading my way before I almost fell out of the plane.” “I was looking for Sam!” “Great, so now we have to worry about you being distracted worrying about her” Raph said with an annoyed laugh. “Well you should be able to worry about yourself” Donnie snapped at Raph. “You should be on alert mode regardless of who’s around you.” “Not the point! Mikey shouldn’t have needed to worry about Sam being in danger in the first place! That’s why next time she’s staying home!” Leo bellowed. “Cut the bull!” Mikey “we need her-” “What we need is to keep her safe, which you failed at doing when you let her head smash against the wall-” “Oh and you did such a great job keeping her safe when you and Raph landed on her and crashed into the floor! Yeah I saw that!” “Well then that’s even more reason that she shouldn’t have been there. If we can’t even take care of ourselves and we’re the ones hurting Sam-” “Ummmm no!” Donnie cut in, “Mikey and I brought Sam to safety at the rapids, you’re the one who went off on your own without a word!” “Because it’s not my job to babysit Sam when we push her so far that she passes out!” “We’re a team!” Mikey bellowed, “we all help each other out!” “Oh yeah because you totally helped Mikey! What exactly did you do again? Besides sit back and goof off I mean” Raph snarled. “Sam was weak as hell and she did more than you! She was on the sidelines and still helped me reach Donnie in time to protect him. You were next to him and didn’t do shit!” “What I’m hearing is that for a 5th time Sam saved one or all of us” Donnie said in a matter-of-fact tone. “And that she was safe on the sidelines!” Mikey chipped in. “Yeah, until she made the decision to throw herself into danger!” Raph barked back. “So what I’m hearing is that we can’t trust Sam” Leo said, mimicking Donnie’s tone as he stared at him. “WHAT?!” Donnie and Mikey hollered. “She was in a safe spot and then purposefully went over her already shortened limit and put herself in danger by attacking and gaining the attention of Bebop and Rocksteady! If she can’t fight then she should be in hiding, and if she can’t voluntarily hide and protect herself then we leave her home!” Leo argued. “How can you not see that Sam easily could have died?!” Raph added in furry. “How do you not see that without her we all could have died?!” Mikey fought back. “It has nothing to do with her, it’s about us!” Donnie added to the argument. “We don’t communicate and then it leads to chaos. You know, Sam and I talked before she saved Mikey, we talked before she kept the plane in the air, and she talked to Raph before he saved me!” “Great” Leo said as sarcastically as possible, “so that means we’re a team that can’t communicate with each other which results in us taking advantage of our most vulnerable member, and we make her do everything else for us because we can’t work together and take care of ourselves.” “How are we supposed to protect her when we can’t even take care of ourselves?” Raph asked in disappointment. Leo waved his arm in front of him. “Add that to the list of reasons why next time she’s not-” “ENOUGH!”

Sam’s eyes lit up and huge wind gusts flew from her body. Jay was grateful that Raph was so close to him as he lunged and held onto Jay before the winds flew him back against the wall. The other brothers stood their ground as best as they could until the winds died down. None of them, not even Jay (being so caught up in the brothers argument), had realized that Sam was losing her cool as she heard the brother’s arguing about her. She was hurt for so many reasons. She hated to see them arguing like this in general, but knowing that she was a main cause for it hurt her even more. She hated herself for not being able to help out more, she hated that she knew little to nothing about her powers, she hated that the brothers were blaming each other for not keeping her safe, and she loathed that she had no self-control in her body attacking Bebop and Rocksteady. And she knew that admitting this would just make matters worse, but for now the only thing on her mind was getting the guys to stop arguing the way they were.

“YOU!” she shouted as she stared at Leo, who in return was staring at her with a shocked expression. He definitely was not expecting this outburst, though he felt that at this point he shouldn’t be so surprised. “Stop blaming Donnie like he scripted for everything to go the way it did! You’re lucky he formed any plan where the plane didn’t fall right out of the sky. I didn’t see anyone else up there trying to fix it. And last time I checked you didn’t communicate and say what you were doing when you went for the device in the water either! And if you EVER tell Mikey he has no brains again I will literally kick your ass!” “And YOU!” she shouted as she now turned and faced towards Raph, “Stop hating on your younger brothers! At least they have faith in me that I can help, which I DID SAVE YOUR ASS! So stop acting like I’m just a nuisance! Same with you!” she said, pointing back to Leo before she continued to verbally attack Raph. “And I’ll kick your ass if you ever tell Donnie he has no skill ever again! HE’S SENSITIVE!” “And YOU!” she said as she now faced Donatello, “Leo didn’t communicate in the water but neither did you! Yeah that’s what happens when you bench me, I see everything! So no you didn’t have it right in your hand, you didn’t even touch it! Technically he did, you both were close but you idiots don’t talk! Maybe if you guys would try to understand each other rather than just yell at each other than you would know how he really feels. The reason he’s a total ass to all of you is because he cares!” “And you” Sam said in a low bitter tone towards Michelangelo, (in fact, this low tone sounded more pissed than the way she yelled at the others) “First of all, I’m flattered you worry about me, but you still have to worry about these dorks!” she said, rapidly pointing to the other three brothers. “Thank god Raph was okay, but worse things could have happened if he had fallen from the plane at a higher level, so pay better attention! And THANKS for having my back in regards to me being grounded. Like, okay yeah I know I broke the rules, but this was to retrieve ooze from the police so that it was held somewhere safe and couldn’t harm people, and then Brazil was to retrieve a device so that we could PROTECT. THE. WORLD! I mean hey” she said in a sarcastic comical tone “I thought saving the world came first over calling my brother and getting permission, but obviously my thoughts don’t matter. As long as I’m following the rules, right?” All the brothers, mutant and human, looked down or away from Sam. They agreed with her words and they all realized that had been harsh towards both her and the other brothers. Sam’s verbal rampage was not over just yet though. “And hey” she announced as she faced all four mutant brothers, “if you have a problem with me, how about telling me about it instead of arguing about it while I’m standing right here. Oh, or would you rather me just sit on the sidelines and listen to you verbally attack each other and me not help? Because god forbid I get my feelings hurt or something. Or god forbid my powers take over again and try to keep you guys safe! Because that’s freaking horrible!”

At that very moment, something clicked in Donnie’s mind. “Sam” “WHAT?!” she shouted, obviously not ready to end her rant just yet. “What’s going through your mind right now?” Donnie asked cautiously. “I just said it! Like, I literally just said a lot! Be more specific.” “What are you most angry about right now, at this very moment. Of everything you just said, what upsets you the most?” he asked calmly, even though his friend was shouting at him. “Gee I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you’re all arguing because I couldn’t control myself” she replied sourly, “I mean forgive me for thinking you guys could die and me just reacting without even realizing what I was doing” she said, waving her arms in front of her, moving with the anger inside her. Her words however now caught all the turtles attention. “Wait, what?” Leo asked. “When were we gonna die?” “When you went over the waterfall.” “But, we’re turtles” Leo stated, confused at what had concerned his friend so much that she went ballistic and threw herself in danger afterwards. “Yeah but you didn’t know how high it was, or what was at the drop, you didn’t know if you’d be safe or not.” Wheels were spinning in Donnie’s head as he walked forward and grabbed Sam’s hand. “Come with me, right now.” He needed to get her to the med wing right away and test to see if his theory was correct. “Not yet!” Sam yelled as she pulled away, “I’m not done bitching!” Donnie then grabbed her other arm and basically starting pulling Sam, like he was dragging a child who didn’t want to leave the park. “Perfect” he replied, “keep talking as we walk.” This got Sam to stop and she finally started walking with him towards the med wing outside the lair. Leo and Raph exchanged glances for a split second and then chased after their brother, with Jay and Mikey right on their tail.

They entered the med wing to see Donnie sitting and typing away on a computer while Sam had a helmet with some patches hooked up to her head. The remaining four boys just stood and listened outside the doorway, watching to see what exactly was happening and what Donnie was thinking. “When was the last time your powers took over?” Donnie asked as he paused his typing. “Ummmm, I wanna say police headquarters.” “Why?” “…I don’t wanna say” Sam mumbled, a bit embarrassed. “Tell him or its three weeks” Jay stated. Sam groaned. “I was pissed.” “Why?” Donnie asked gently. “Because they called you monsters. That upset Mikey, and then that upset me. And then I thought how the rest of you were feeling, both how you guys actually felt and then how you were probably also pissed because that guy upset Mikey. The next thing I knew, Raph was carrying me out of headquarters and you guys were checking on me.” Sam’s eyes were now glued to the floor. Because of this, she didn’t see the concern on the faces of the brothers in the doorway. Donnie would have had the exact same expression on his face, but right now he was masking these thoughts as he typed away on his computer. “Okay, when did they go off before that?” “Uhhhhh, oh, when Leo benched Raph and Mikey.” Brows rose when they heard this. “When was this?” Donnie asked. He didn’t remember hearing about this. “I felt them kicking in when Leo said his opinion was the only one that mattered. It was weird, like I could actually sense my powers kicking in and I was able to control them. But then they started getting stronger. It was the first time I actually felt them rising up before they took over.” “You said an enemy was attacking” Raph added softly. Sam looked over at the group in the door way and stared at Raphael, her eyes stating that she wanted him to keep talking. “You said an enemy was attacking, that he was hurting me and bringing chaos into the family. I said that it was just Leo being a prick” (to which Leo pursed his lips and looked away, starting to get a bit flustered at constantly being called names like this). “I told you I had no injuries and you went back to normal.” “Wait, so what was the exact reason your powers starting going off?” Donnie asked. Sam paused, remembering the situation for herself. “Raph got hurt…in a sense. That’s the last thing I remember.” “When did they go off before that? Can you remember?” Sam took a minute to generate her answer. “When I met Casey. I sensed someone had attacked Sensei and I thought he was in danger. Then Leo was holding me and Mikey’s hands were on my shoulders. Apparently I had tried to hurt Casey because he was the first unknown face I saw and I thought he was an enemy trying to hurt Splinter.” “How far does this go?” Jay asked. “These all sound recent.” “The last one I can remember is when Donnie shocked Mikey. At least that’s what Raph told me had happened and apparently I snapped.” Donnie’s eyes went wide for a second since he had no clue what she was talking about. “When was this?” he asked. “In the jumbotron. April called and Mikey was being a dork and apparently you shocked him and then that set me off.” “Do you remember why?” “Mikey got hurt” Sam said bluntly. At this point all the boys were beginning to sense a pattern.

“It’s based on emotions” Leo stated. “Right?” A small printer in the corner was now printing out colorful photos. The pictures displayed a cranial figure representing Sam’s brain and which parts were lit up during the conversation. There was only one main chunk where a huge area was lit up in the picture. “That’s the temporal lobe” Donnie stated as he looked over the scans that were taken throughout the conversation. “We finally have an idea as to how your powers work.” “Sooooooooo what’s happening?” Mikey asked, having no idea what was going on. Donnie turned around to face the rest of the group. “The temporal lobe handles multiple tasks, including those involving memory and emotions. There’s the hippocampus which deals with long term memory, there’s the limbic system which carries out the experience of emotions, there’s the amygdala which deals with memory, decision making, and emotional reactions, there’s the locus coeruleus which deals with physiological responses to stress and panic, there’s-” “Spit it out Donnie” Leo urged. “I always thought Sam was set off specifically based on what she saw and heard alone, but it’s not just her senses, it’s how she processes them.” “So, it’s every time she’s upset?” Raph asked. “Not just upset, specifically when she feels someone she cares about is being harmed. Her powers have gone off…8 times.” “What?!” Jay asked. “List them. Now!” “The first time was when she was with me in my lab. I burned myself and she literally demolished the device that caused the burn. The second time was when she caught Raph chasing Mikey. The third time was when she caught Leo and Raph arguing and butting heads. Fourth time was me shocking Mikey. Fifth time was when she thought Casey was hurting Splinter. Sixth time was when Leo yelled at Raph right before we left for the museum. Seventh time was at police headquarters. The eighth and final time was when she saw us heading for the waterfall. Each time she thought someone was in danger and she felt a need to protect them. Her powers could even be connecting to past memories of needing to protect us and it just takes over and goes Hulk until someone calms her down.” “Wait, hold up” Raph cut in, “that all makes sense BUT why would she freak out when I chased Mikey? She’s seen that AND me and Leo arguing tons of times, but she only went crazy once for each situation.” “It was out of context” Leo cut in, his eyes wide as the wheels in his head began to turn as well. “Sam was meditating with me when you were chasing Mikey. She didn’t know what caused the argument. We were literally leaving my room and you two ran by us. And then when we were arguing-” “She was with Donnie in the med wing. She’s always there when the fights start, but those times she wasn’t” Raph said, now truly understanding how all this worked. “Plus this explains why she never freaks out during trainings” Mikey said with wide eyes, officially catching on to what his brothers were getting at. “She sees us sparring and knows we’re not in any danger.” “Has this been a normal thing?!” Jay announced. “Why have I not known about this?!” All eyes were now on Sam who was twiddling her thumbs. “I was going to tell you…but it either slips my mind or its bad timing.” “How is your life bad timing?” Jay asked, fuming the entire time. “Dude, you’re getting married and have a job while also advocating for the Foot Survivors organization. You have a million things to worry about, I’m not going to make them worse!”

Hearing this, Leo and Raph had to leave the room. They both walked back to their designated rooms, knowing that if they continued to stay that they would just start arguing again like they had earlier. They wanted nothing more than to keep their sister safe, but they couldn’t fathom Sam’s thoughts of hiding information. Maybe later they could try to talk to her about it, but they both knew that now was not the best time.

Mikey sighed with a saddened expression on his face. He was also worrying about his sister and best friend’s behaviors and mindset as of late. He sensed that now was a good time to let Sam and Jay talk, so he also walked back to his room.

Donnie wore the same expression as his younger brother. He felt the same way and decided to let the human siblings share their moment. This was the perfect spot for them to talk since it was not located inside the lair but was still nearby. He pat Sam on the shoulder as he walked out of the room.

That just left the human siblings to share their moment in peace.

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt leonardo #leonardo #tmnt raphael #raphael #tmnt donatello #donatello #tmnt michelangelo #michelangelo #tmnoc #tmnt2016 #TMNT Out of the Shadows

[ranya-smut-blog]

Married to Dr.Woods XIII

“So how was school today?” Raven asked her daughter as they got inside their home

“Well we had a party. I ate a lot of cookies and got a lot of Valentine cards”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah and I got a kiss too”

“Those chocolates are pretty good”

Kaia giggled, “No mommy. Not a chocolate kiss, a real one”

Raven tripped on her heels upon hearing her daughter’s words. Luckily the counter was nearby and she caught herself.

“Who was it?”

“Natalie” Kaia replied with a cheesy smile

_

“Chief!”

Is the word that wakes Dr. Woods up in the on-call room. She finally got a chance to rest after a 72 hour shift.

“What is it?” She mumbles as she adjusts to the new light in the room

“I’m sorry to wake you but we need you in the ER”

Anya stretches and lets out a groan before throwing her legs off the bed and headed out, adjusting her white coat on her shoulders as she walked.

“Okay what do we got?”

The nurse hands her a chart, “Bed 3, Ms. Soto is 7 months pregnant, complaining of severe stomach pain”

“Page Dr. Montgomery for a consult”

She gets a nod from the nurse, then Anya proceeds to the patient and pushes the curtain out of the way.

“Hello Ms. Soto, I’m Dr. Woods and I’ll be your doctor today. I see that you’ve been experiencing pain the past two days?”

“Call me Jilian, and yes. At first I thought it was normal in the pregnancy you know, stings here and there but I woke up this morning and it had gotten worse. I tried to ignore it but obviously I failed since I’m here”

Anya nodded at the woman and began her basic exam. Her lungs sounded fine, so did her heart, and everything else seemed to be functioning alright.

“Well Jilian I’m glad you couldn’t ignore it because something could be wrong and we’ll be able to treat it. Everything is alright, now we’ll just check on the baby”

The patient was going to reply but the OB/GYN showed up, “I was paged?”

“Yes, Jilian this is Dr. Montgomery and she’ll be checking on your baby, I’ll be back okay?”

“Wait! I’m not going to lose my baby am I?” She asks

Anya takes her hand, “I know you’re scared right now but Dr. Montgomery is an excellent doctor that deals with babies and stuff like this. Is there anyone I can call for you? Husband maybe?”

Jilian shakes her head, “Don’t have one, he didn’t want to be responsible”

“Alright, well I promise I’ll be back and I’ll be with you through this okay?”

“Okay”

Anya dismisses herself and heads back to the nurse station, “Who’s next?”

“Actually we have hang glider accident 2 minutes out” she replies

Dr. Woods takes the two minutes putting on yellow trauma scrubs and gloves. She had already pinned her ring on the inside of her blue shirt, no way was she losing or getting it smeared with blood ever. The paramedics soon came in with the victim through the doors.

“22 year old Elizabeth Parker, BP 100/70, open tibia fracture and complains of abdominal pain” one of the paramedics says

“Take her to trauma 1 and someone page Torres STAT” Anya orders

A minute later Dr. Torres was already in the trauma room looking at the fracture.

“Well this is a nasty break, wait this isn’t bone, it’s a rod”

“Yeah she got it implanted when she broke her tibia when she was skiing in New Zeland” the girl on the other side of the table said

“Who is this?” Torres asks Woods who was doing an ultrasound on the patient

“I’m her older sister, Dona, and I told her this was going to happen”

“But she acts like my mom” the patient mumbles

“I’m not going over this again, I can’t watch you try to die”

“It’s just a little break”

“No it’s not just a little break, you’ve broken both forearms, dislocated your shoulder, lost a kidney, concussion, knee fracture, etc you name it”

“Wow, you have a death wish” Torres tells Elizabeth

“Well I see lots of free fluid. Let’s get her up to the CT asap” Anya says

Callie and the nurse take her up while Anya stays behind and removes the trauma scrubs and gloves. Then makes her way back to bed 3 where she had left Jilian with Dr. Montgomery. The problem was that when she got there, they no longer were there. She asked a nearby nurse on information and she said Addison had taken her up for an emergency C-Section.

She ran to the nearby elevator but it was entirely full. She then went to the stairs and ran up to the third floor, it was her workout of the day. The doctor checked all 10 operation rooms until she found them in the very last one.

“Hey Anya, nice of you to join us” The OB said

“You could’ve told me you were taking her up here, what happened?”

“I could’ve but her baby was in fetal distress and you were dealing with another patient so no time. You understand right?”

“Yeah sure”

“Would you like to do the honors of cutting the umbilical cord?”

“Why me?”

“Well you heard her, she has no husband. Plus you promised you’ll always be with her”

“Alright but wipe that smirk off your face”

“How can you tell if I have a mask on?”

“I heard it in your voice, now let me go scrub in”

The rest of the procedure took about 15 minutes and Jilian was now in recovery. The baby boy was in an incubator, hooked up to machines that would help him develop. He weighed about 3 pounds 5 ounces and was 15 inches long. Anya didn’t know why but she felt oddly attracted to this case. It could’ve been the fact that the baby had no father or the fact that he had to be evacuated from his mother because he wasn’t receiving enough oxygen.

She really didn’t know which one or even if those were the reasons why. What she was sure about was the fact that she wanted to be with Jilian Soto and her baby, for as long as she stayed at the hospital -which would be long-. She’d keep updated on the baby’s progress and would entertain the mother. When Clarke heard what her sister-in-law was planning on doing, she smelt trouble but decided against telling the doctor. After all, it seemed to make Anya happy and she didn’t want to be the one to take that away.

_

The CT results were in and Anya was going to tell Elizabeth’s sister the results. She made her way down to the waiting room, accompanied by Dr. Torres who would be operating on Elizabeth’s tibia.

“So she might lose her kidney?” Dona asked

“No let’s not jump ahead” Callie tried to calm her down

“No please, tell me the worst case scenario. I want to be prepared” she insisted

“Okay well worst case scenario she loses the kidney and we start looking for a donor” Anya explains

“That’s me!” Dona chirps up

“You’ve been through this before?” The orthopedic surgeon asks

“Yea take your pick, bone marrow, blood, liver anything you can think of. What’s mine is hers.”

“Wow seems like she’s extremely accident prone even for a daredevil”

“No all the parachuting and stuff, it all started when she wanted to remission. She was diagnosed with plastic anemia when she was 2”

“Well that must’ve been hard, most likely that you were a match” Anya points out

“Oh it wasn’t luck, I’m a donor baby”

Torres was instantly filled with realization, “You’re her younger sister!”

“Yeah my parents only had me to save her” Dona smiled but both Anya and Callie knew, it hid a lot of pain. Torres felt bad for the woman, she was just being used.

During the surgery, Callie was working on the tibia and discovered that the rod had done a lot more damage that she’d anticipated. They had also gotten a general surgeon to look at the kidney while Anya stood on the side, watching.

“We’re going to be here awhile guys, there’s a lot of bleeding”

“There’s a lot of damage to the kidney, pass me a clamp. You guys may have to consider that donation after all” he says

“Well there’s no doubt the sister would give it” Anya speaks up

The OR phone rang and one of the nurses answered it. When she hung up, she revealed that the call was referred to Dr. Woods, her wife wanted her home early because she wanted to talk to her about something important.

“Can’t say no to the wife can you?” Torres chuckles

“Neither can you, Arizona would keep you out of your apartment”

Hours later the surgery was over and the green eyed doctor and the orthopedic surgeon were back with Dona.

“The general surgeon wasn’t able to fix Elizabeth’s kidney” Callie said

“Eventually she’ll need another kidney right?” Dona asks which Callie nods at

“Well here I am, open the tool box. Anything for her”

“Hey listen, this doesn’t have to happen now. She can stay on dialysis until we find a donor” Anya explains

Dona thinks for a second, “It’s okay to say no right?”

“Absolutely, it’s your life”

“Then I’m saying no.” The sister smiles

“Okay then, we’ll keep you updated” the doctors smiles

“God that felt good, now I need to find a boyfriend and a job” she states which makes the doctors laugh

It was night time now and Anya was back with Jilian in her room. Honestly, she had forgotten about Raven’s call, as soon as she entered the patient’s room, everything else didn’t matter.

“So when can I hold my son?”

“Not yet, he’s still under critical condition. Have you picked a name yet?”

“He’s my first child and all I ever dreamed of was to hold him and I can’t even do that. But no I still haven’t chosen” Jilian cried

Anya sat on the bed and comforted her. The rest of the night included the new mom asking a whole bunch of questions about the baby and his condition. Also a night filled with baby boy names. Dr. Woods fell asleep that night, in the patient’s bed. Something she’s never done in her entire career, Clarke of course saw this and just simply shook her head. Her friend was making a terrible mistake about getting involved way too much with this case but she’ll have to suffer the consequences.

A worried Raven stayed at home wondering why her wife wasn’t there. She called and called but it went straight to voicemail. The next morning she went to the hospital after dropping off Kaia and what she found wasn’t what she expected. That morning was a disaster for Anya and Raven but more for the music teacher