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k1ttef1a · 9 days

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I have plenty of requests for yuri voice, there’s not enough fics or headcanons, but! I hope you can change that! Can I have a Charlie fic where there’s top cas? Literally any top reader-

1) Can I have a Charlie fic where there’s top!fem! cas? Smut pls- and like the plot being he’s just pent up from stress and just needs a release-

2) Alphonse and Seth, seth still thinks he isn’t worthy of any love from them so sugurboo and Alphonse show him that is worth it? Switch!Alphonse, sub Seth, and dom top female sugarboo?

3)fin fluff/ angst(bc we need both sometimes) that who will not be named shows up at his shop, belittles him and even goes to hit him- and so sunflower basically steps in and helps

And so that’s it, please and thank you

Helping Out |Charlie

pairing: Yuurivoice Charlie x fem! reader

warnings: smut, blowjob, dom? reader, sub Charlie

summary: Pete has been working Charlie to the bone, which means Charlie doesn't have a lot of time to relax so you decide to be a sweet girlfriend and help destress.

a/n: I've been having a bad case of writers block so this is kind of shitty.

Charlie had to work overtime at Pete's because today they just so happened to be SEVERELY understaffed, unfortunately for him this wasn't the first time this week he had to work overtime so he was absolutely exhausted.

You could tell by the look in his eyes every time he came home that he was tired and was extremely stressed out, making you feel sorry for your poor boyfriend.

You were currently sitting on your bed, which you shared with Charlie, waiting for him to come home. As you waited for him to come home you checked the clock on the night stand. It was already 11:30?! You started to worry that he'd never come home. (You were being dramatic but still, you wondered if he'd come home soon or at least come home today).

As you thought about the whereabouts of your boyfriend you heard the front door open then close. Charlie walked into your guy's shared bedroom looking even more tired than yesterday, which made you quite upset. He shouldn't have to stay over time and get paid minimum wage.

"How was work today Chuck?" You asked in a sweet and soft tone, not wanting to be too loud since he had to deal with bitchy customers loud and obnoxious voices all day. "It was fine, Pete was just up my ass all day, you know the usual." He said as he kicked off his shoes and took off his black zip up sweater vest.

"I'm sorry." You replied, feeling sorry for him, having to deal with his boss. "You have nothing to be sorry for Cas, plus it's bringing in money I guess." He said, mumbling the last bit of his sentence. "I mean yeah but you should enjoy work, not come home feeling like shit." You said. It wasn't okay that he was coming back home feeling like crap then going to bed, waking up, going back to work, and restarting the cycle all over again.

"Well there's nothing I can really do." That was true, there was nothing he could really do. The jobs were all minimum wage and kinda shady, and the ones that weren't, you needed a really good resume, which he didn't really have considering the fact that he's quite literally worked for shady people and done shady things, and working for Pete of course.

While Charlie was in the shower washing off all the sweat and grime from that day, you tried to figure out a way to relax your boyfriend. He was off tomorrow, maybe you could just make the day all about him since he's been having bad days for the past week. Good cuddles, breakfast, maybe even take him shopping for some new clothes. You were snapped out of your thoughts when Charlie came out of the bathroom drying off his hair by shaking it like a dog, wearing black and red plaid pajama pants.

He plopped himself on the left side of you, pushing his head back against the pillow and sighing heavily. You got up and decided you'd start his special treatment tonight.

You laid yourself on Charlie's stomach, making him look at you, your faces a couple inches away from each other. "Chuck, can I ask you something?" You said. "Uh sure? What is it?" He said in response, his face slightly flushed from how close you were to his crotch, and from the shower. "Can I.. take care of you tonight?" You asked shyly. This wasn't the first time you guys have had sex but it was a bit more awkward due to the fact that he looked like he was about to pass out at any moment. "You really don't have to Cas, I won't be able to really give you anything back because I feel I'm about to pass the fuck ou-" Before he could finish his sentence you covered his mouth with your hand. "You don't have to give me anything back I just..wanna take care of you tonight." You said, looking at him compassionately. You wanted tonight to be about him and him only.

"I don't want anything in return, I can tell you've been really stressed out and I want to help you relax." You say as you take your hand off his mouth, waiting for a response. He sighs. "Okay." He knew you were pretty stubborn so it would be pretty much impossible for him to disagree with not giving you anything back in return.

You slid the rest of your body down his stomach to in between his legs. You grabbed the front of his pants and his boxers and pulled them down, his cock springing out.

You look at him to see his reaction but he's just looking at you with wide eyes, his face flushed even more than before. You look back down to his cock and give it a small kiss before slowly and carefully taking it all in your mouth, making him lean back into the pillow and moan.

You started to slowly suck him off, not wanting him to cum too fast. "C-cas can I put my hands in your hair please?" He asked. "Mhm." Is all you could say, not wanting to stop.

You started to pick up the pace, making him moan louder. Now the only thing you could hear was Charlie's moans and whimpers and the sound of you sucking him.

You could tell Charlie was close by the way he was bucking his hips slowly into your mouth and the way he was intertwining pieces of your hair into his fingers. "Fuck C-Cas I'm c-close~" You started sucking him off faster and faster, drool trickling down from your mouth to your chin. Charlie was a panting mess, begging and pleading to cum in your mouth, to which you let him.

Strings of his cum shooting to the back of your throat, while you groaned, tears streaming down your face from having to keep your jaw open for so long. You took his cock out of your mouth, as you whipped your lips that were covered in your saliva and a bit of the cum that managed to escape your mouth.

As you both tried catching your breath he pulled up his pants and brought you up to his chest, wiping away the tears that were still running down your cheeks. "S-sorry Cas, was I too rough? " He said, breathing heavily still trying to catch his breath. "N-no, no, not at all." You said sounding like you were about to fall asleep at any second.

"Thank you Casper, you really know how to relax me when I need it." He said in a sleepy voice before yawning and looking down at you to see you already more than half asleep.

"You're...wel..come." You said before fully falling asleep. Charlie then smirked softly and kissed your forehead, grabbing the blanket and covering the both of you.

"Good night Cas." He said before closing his eyes and falling into a deep sleep.

☆ this was requested by @kenzib23! It's been about a month since I've posted a fanfic so here you go (I've been extremely busy and exhausted :')) my requests are open!

#charlie yuurivoice #fanfic #x reader #smut #yuurivoice x reader #yuurivoice

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benjibots · 7 months

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GHIS IS ME ENABLING YOU GIVE ME THE SEPHIRAH SCRUNGLY'S CORES YO SUPPRESS

OKOKOK SO. im putting this all under a cut because its long as hell. this is mostly how i think they'd function in the game, but includes minimal details [it was not minimal god help] on why shits fucked

Keuoh's unlocks first out of the two, and after the middle layer Sephirot's cores have been suppressed.

What I focused on here is his ability to open and close the doors of containment units. His responsibility is usually to keep these shut. He doesn't here, the fucker.

Throughout the day, he will cause sporadic qliphoth meltdowns, and cause things to breach at certain meltdown levels. This selection is random.

During his event, the trumpet borders that show at the corners of the screen show indefinitely until the core supression is over with, the warning level gradually going up as the day goes on. Keuoh your core suppression would be awful if it were actually in the game. Hod bless.

This is the song I've kinda associated with it,, I associate Keouh with many an Everhood song. This one specifically I imagine playing in the background tbh.

Peirché's core suppression unlocks after Keouh's core has been suppressed.

Peirché has a hostile breach!! Like An Arbiter and Red Mist. I've been calling it Pink Smoke [after the Scary Jokes song] as a placeholder, but this is subject to change lol

I don't have specifics sorted out for his yet. All I have down is that he has a chainsaw. Bro got into the Residential Departmen's supply closet. It's harder to work out specifics as quickly for him JDHJAFJ

These are the songs I associate with his core suppression, though they're subject to change as I figure more stuff out. Ordered based on how early/late I think they'd play.

OKAY NOW TO WHY SHITS FUCKED.

For Keouh I already went on my whole spiel about him. Angela is waiting for him to die or slip up in some way that gives her an excuse to terminate him. He is also extremely broken, in a literal sense. His problems boil down to not wanting to die yet and grappling with the fact that it happening in the near future is an inevitably in his eyes, whether it be him getting terminated or succumbing to his damage. He's given up, and yet he doesn't want to let go.

Peirché hates it here. That's the short version. It's all just bubbled up to the surface and come out as an infuriated outburst. He seems to be the type to get used a lot, though he isn't naive to this fact. He simply lets it happen, even if he isn't exactly content with it. Kindness requires sacrifice or whatever.

As this went on, though, resentment started to build up inside him. Resentment for the people who do take advantage of his kind will. However, hearing about how Keouh, literally his best friend, had been treated is what pushed him over the edge.

Well, it's that combined with the fact that he was expected to have his work shoved onto him, being forced to shoulder someone else’s burden again just because the idea of giving those duties to another department was 'a waste of space'. Plus the fact that Keouh didn't trust him enough to tell him. He doesn't hold any anger towards him for it, they do end up talking about it, but it's definitely at least a bit of a factor here.

Basically, mostly unrelated things cause Peirché's emotions to overload, and become the catalyst for a completely different problem. He's tired of being treated like dirt by his peers. Why should he have to suffer for being nice? If the simple act of being kind means being trampled over, maybe he'd prefer to be mean and scary instead.

mentally ill robots yaayyy!!!!

#THANK YOUUU FOR LISTENING TO MY DUMBASS RAMBKES JESSE THANK YOUU #SMILEE #this was so much longer than i originally planned 😭#i love rambling about these idiots feel free to ask about them always and forever #lobotomy corporation #lobotomy corporation oc #oc: keouh #oc: peirché #alphabet soup

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mugiwara--ya · 25 days

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I've been applying to jobs like crazy for months and months and months and every interview feels like this time its finally gonna happen and when it doesn't i just feel this crushing fucking hopelessness and i try not to get discouraged and stay positive etc but. god.

right now im super sick and i took the day off to rest and i keep feeling guilty that im not using every waking second to look for a job. i feel like i should start taking commissions but i KNOW i cant commit to it. i could work on graphic design but they fucking kicked me out of school after nearly 2 goddamn years of them wasting my time so i dont even have a degree and i dont even want to look at my apps n tools most days bc of the sheer fucking burn out im in. i could post the tons n tons of finished art i got collecting dust on my folders and maybe maybe maybe get some tips from it but i simply cannot move past my anxiety so i just dont. i wanna do so much stuff but im paralyzed bc my absolute priority is to find a job that can get me out of here and i literally cannot think of anything else. i feel ungrateful all the goddamn time bc at least i dont have to worry about food bills and a roof over my head.

i am 28 years old and 100% dependent on my family. i don't and WON'T have a degree. i'm chronically ill. i've been on psych meds for about a year and while mentally ive literally never been better, i'm dealing with the consequences of 27 years of untreated adhd, undiagnosed autism, several mental illnesses, plus extremely fresh and violent trauma from the massive fires where i live and i keep fucking having nightmares and panic attacks over it and its been like two months and i'm so fucking tired. i have next to no work experience and my last "real" job was on 2015 so i have to bullshit my way through interviews and so far no one has fucking called me back.

im just complaining rn bc fuck its getting real fucking dark over here but rn im just worried sick about my partners. they're living together at the moment and they can barely get by. i already reblogged their donation posts and i'll make one linking to them just for idk reach or whatever so please if you read til here wait for that post to go up and please please please help them so at least i can have that peace of mind, if nothing else.

#vent /#sol.txt

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your-friend-michael-vn · 1 year

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Update

Apologies for the silence--I wasn't really sure what to say, and kept putting off saying anything at all :'^) Long story short, I am sure some of you noticed that the 31st, the planned release date of YFM's demo came and passed with...well, no demo. The TLDR is this; I vastly underestimated the amount of time and learning it would take in order to fully code and put out the demo.

The more long-winded answer; I understand some of you probably see people releasing demos for their games in a relatively short time period and must think, 'what's the big deal? why don't you just put out what you have?'. For one, I mistakenly thought that learning Ren'py(and by extension, re-learning python)would be easy. And it technically is; I COULD have just swapped out the default in-game sprites for things like the text box, menu backgrounds, and sliders and just focused on writing and programming the actual VN dialogue. The issue is that when I set out to work on this demo, I had a vision in my head. I wanted the demo to somewhat represent what I wanted the final game to look like(hence the purpose of a demo)--and what I wanted involved custom in-game menus, a rearranged GUI, a fully decked-out main menu, a rudimentary inventory, and for the game overall to have a recognizable 'style' that did not involve Ren'py's signature visual novel look. This involved way more than I was aware of coding-wise and I'm still learning how it all works. Prior to this, I had experience with graphical scripting and the fundamentals of most programming languages(variables/integers/strings, methods and functions, arrays, if-else statements, local vs global variables, etc)but not as much with traditional coding.

All of this plus some things involving my health and stress(both of which have left me extremely tired and lethargic most days)and my, at times, overall poor time management skills have been obstacles to my releasing the demo for my project. Some good has come from everything, however--for one, I have been working on learning to draw backgrounds so while I will probably still be using photos for the demo, future updates + the full release should have completely original background illustrations to help pull together the look and feel of the game. GUI elements have already been made and I'm considering redoing a few sprites(including Michael's again)since I REALLY want this demo to be high quality. I've also been working on the writing aspect of things. Specifically, I feel as though my protagonist, Phoebe, is very bland. If I'm not going to have a blank slate for an MC, I want to work on making her and the side characters more dynamic, and to help the story overall feel immersive and memorable.

Having said all of that, I'll continue to post updates again on the project. This time I'm not setting a deadline for release until the demo is AT LEAST 90% complete so this doesn't happen again. I am really sorry if I've disappointed anyone OTL

#yfmgame #yourfriendmichaelvn

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winterfireice · 1 year

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Kotlc Secret Santa 2022

I got @the-one-and-only-aroace so this is for you

Hope you enjoy! 💙💜💙💜💙💜💙

Link to my ao3 for ease

@song-tam thank you so much for hosting this was a lot of fun

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh, why is it that the entire day I've been thinking about my book with almost nothing else in mind but the minute I get home and actually have time to write my brain goes blank!” I push back in my chair exasperatedly throwing my head back so it's facing the ceiling. “I don't know inspiration strikes at random times I guess.” My little sister Amy says while writing in one of her music journals. My older sister Jolie is laying on my bed doing homework with earbuds in she probably doesn't even know we're talking, these two are some of the only people in my life that know that I write.

I've been writing a book for almost a year now and it's still nowhere near the end, it has all the things I love about fantasy, elves, goblins, ogres I've been thinking about adding gnomes too but haven't figured out how to incorporate them yet. It's taken an annoyingly long time mostly because of classes and the fact that I've been suffering from some major writer's block for the last couple of months.

Jolie rolls over taking her earbuds off and asks what we're talking about, “Sophie is struggling to actually participate in her favorite hobby.” Amy says not looking up, while I have been having trouble with writing my sister has been in a rush of inspiration. Amy has loved writing music since she got her first special notebook when she was seven and it had purple glitter on it. Over the last eight years, she has gotten much better and I couldn't be more proud. She even has created songs for my characters, one of the best birthday presents I've gotten, along with the drawings of them from Jolie.

Sitting here is doing absolutely nothing so I suggest we all go to the ice cream place down the street “I could use a break from my English paper.” Jolie replies closing her book. “I'm really getting into the groove here I don't want to mess it up, but I’ll come next time.” Amy says taking her eyes off her pencil for the first time in hours. “Ok,” I tell her “do you want us to bring you anything?” “Vanilla with Carmel and mini marshmallows please” Amy gives me her iconic aren't I the best little sister even though she's not doing anything. ”You got it.” I say as Jolie grabs her car keys and purse from across the hall.

The ice cream place has only been here for about a year but it’s become a regular spot for us, it's great for study breaks or a meet-up place, plus has some of the best ice cream I've ever tasted.

We order and sit down at a table by the window, my biggest problem right now is that my story doesn't really have a plot or a main goal, I have a feeling for what I want it to be. As stupid as that sounds but it’s the only way I can explain it. And I know I shouldn't be rushing the creative process but I want to write so badly I just can't. I find it extremely infuriating. “Hey sis what's up, your face is super scrunched up and you look like you want to remove all of your eyelashes.” Jolie says reaching over to remove my hand from my eyes. “Talk to me” she straitens her back like she's about to go into an interview.

“I don't know I guess it's nothing, I'm just getting tired of being blocked all the time,” I tell her looking out the window. “Hey don't say it's nothing this is something important to you and it's bothering you. You have been working on this book for a really long time, I should know I hear you grumbling to yourself at all hours of the day about it” She says the last part with a look of possible annoyance. “I just feel like I don't know my brain is working against me.” I explain “like it's betraying you?” Jolie adds “Exactly! That's the best way to explain it-” I trail off thinking and then jump up excitedly “Thank you, thank you that's actually perfect, major help” I start hurrying to the door and I hear Jolie say something to the waiter about getting to go containers.

We drove to the ice cream place but our house is close enough that with running I get home within ten minutes and run to my room barely saying anything to my parents. “Wow that didn't take long at all, do you have my food?” Amy looks up a bit surprised because of my quick reappearance. “I love you but I need you to be quiet for a little while if you're in my room, also I think Jolie will be back soon with your ice cream.” I'm putting in my password and opening my writing software “I guess inspiration struck” Amy says while grabbing her stuff and closing my door while she leaves with a smile on her face.

When Jolie talked about betrayal I thought about how interesting it would be if my main character ends up betraying everyone to save the world ending up sacrificing herself and no one ever knows.

I end up passing out around six am with a mostly finished book and end up writing the ending after I get some actual sleep and start editing it.

My sisters come in around ten am both sitting on the bed not even saying anything just falling into a familiar routine, Jolie starts to sketch and Amy is humming a new song, and every once and a while she writes down a new line in her notebook.

“Thanks, you guys.” I say to them. “For what?” they both ask at the same time “For you two helping with my book, which I've almost finished now but also for just being great sisters.” Jolie and Amy look at each other before tackling me in a hug “Your also an amazing sister” Amy says “Now can we please read your book?” Jolie asks when I nod they both push my rolly chair out of the way so they can see my computer better, I laugh to myself while I wait for them to tell me their thoughts.

#also holly I tried to gift it to you on ao3 but you have that feature off #kotlc #kotlc secret santa 2022 #sophie foster #stand for dadwin 💙#amy foster #jolie ruewen #fire the canons

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kyrdjava · 1 year

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Hello everyone. Sorry for the bad English, it's not my first language.

My name is Daria and I'm a neurodivergent queer woman, who really doesn't know where else to go for help.

I have a borderline personality disorder and a recurrent depressive disorder. Right now I'm not taking any medication or getting any therapy, and things got so bad I can't ignore them anymore.

I've delt with depressive episodes and my BPD acting up before, but only once it was so bad, and that time I ended up in the mental ward after a suicide attempt.

My episode started in spring and it only got worse since. Right now it's at the point where I'm seriously struggling with doing the most basic things; it's hard to wake up, to do my bed, to shower, to feed my cats, to makeyself a cup of tea. Cooking or dying my hair seems an impossible task. Going to work exhausts me to the point I can just stop in the corridor on my way to the office, because I just can't move anymore. I'm not even talking about losing interest and ability to enjoy my favourite things, I'm loooong past that. Now even food can't make me feel better.

I am extremely tired all the time no matter how much I sleep. I've lost appetite almost completely. I'm suicidal. Yesterday I caught myself on planning a visit to a lawyer to make a will. I'm 27, for fuck's sake, should I be thinking of this right now?

Plus, my BPD is making me super sensitive to the littlest things. I can crash and have a meltdown because a customer told me I sound like a robot. I'm constantly suppressing the tears, because when I stop for a moment and try to think of my situation, I get into so much despair, I can start wailing in public.

I have a pretty stable job (thought they cut my pay just a few weeks ago), but due to all my issues my performance is suffering severely. I work in customer support, where I have to be nice and cheerful all my 12 hours working day. I cannot. I became rude, inattentive and indifferent. My superiors already noticed that, and I'm not sure how much longer they will keep me around. Now it is the worst fucking time in my country to try and find a new job, so I really can't afford losing it.

Now to the point why I don't ask my family and friends. I have a moderately supportive family, though our relationship is kinda complicated, and an amazing best friend who always volunteers to help me. But a disaster struck us a few days ago, and now all our finances are going there. And by all I mean even my siblings' who don't even live with us anymore.

Our oldest cat is very, very sick. She has cancer; she needs a lot of medication, regular checkups and tests, blood transfusions and specialised diet.

If you ever had a sick pet, you know how incredibly expensive it can become, and I'm constantly crushed by immense guilt that I can't afford everything my cat (and my three other cats) may ever need. So everything I earn goes towards their needs, except for basic necessities like food, hygiene and transportation. I simply won't let my pathetic self spend any more on myself, when my Musya is suffering so much.

And considering how much everyone in my family has given and continues to give for Musya's treatment, I really, really can't ask them for fucking anything ever fucking again.

I also won't let myself ask my best and only friend for money, because she provides for her whole family, and the crisis wasn't kind to her either.

I also have a shit ton of debts I'm trying to pay right now, that I got in when I tried to change my job (and failed), and also because I eas really stupid towards my finances before.

So I came here. I calculated the amount needed for a single visit to my psychiatrist and roughly a month of medication (if it would be the same medication I've been prescribed before), and it comes to about 150$. I don't even know if it's possible to raise such an amount, but I've seen people try to do it on Tumblr, and I am desperate.

So, here's a link to my Buy Me A Coffee, that I made yesterday.

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/kyrdjava

I've never used it before, but I did a little research and it seems like an only option, considering the country I live in.

If I'll be able to raise the needed amount, in, say, a couple of months, I will post all the receipts for my doctor's appointment and all the meds, so you can be sure all the money was used as intended. Even if I won't, every donation will be spent on Musya's health, and, of course, I will post all the receipts also.

#personal #ask for help #donations #buymeacoffee #mental health

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papercherries · 1 month

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I try to refrain from writing full pieces on my phone but I don't think I can bare to turn on my computer and look at all my tabs. It's too much to think about. I think the touchscreen keyboard removes a sense of physicality from my writing. The actuation of the keys is a cathartic experience for me and helps me feel physically connected with the things I write.

I'm not depressed, at least not at the moment. I'm not happy either. I don't want to sleep but I am tired. I feel like there's a hole in my chest. Shot straight through. My chest is tight and my throat is raspy. I am ill but I feel fine. I keep thinking, I wish I existed. I know I exist, these words are proof of that. Sure it could all be a simulation of some kind but that doesn't take away from the fact I exist, even as a line of code or a jolt between synapses.

I think it's because I felt today wasn't very productive. However I have had less productive days. I went to the shops to get bread and carrots (not for the same meal), I finished a game I had been playing, I received a reply from a message I'd sent to an actor. But I think the real issue comes from one of my daily activities.

Everyday for around 1-6 hours, I'll play guitar. I mean that very loosely, whether I'm just playing with chords or playing short instrumentals I know off by heart. At minimum, an hour of that time is spent singing as well. It's how I release a lot of energy and emotions. If I'm sad I'll usually play sad songs (not exclusively mind you), if I'm frustrated or angry ill play heavier songs (though 90% of the time they're played with bare acoustic with no amp because I don't wanna annoy my flatmates anymore than i do). If I'm happy I'll just play whatever I feel like.

It's extremely rare that I am ill (not including hangovers and physical injuries from violence), usually it doesn't affect me too badly either. I'll have small headaches and my shoulders tend to hurt but besides that I look fine. However, sometimes my throat will dry up. Usually it's not too bad either, sometimes happens after shows and such. Just a mixture of illness and concert screaming. But very rarely will I not be able to sing afterwards. Mind you, I'm still able to sing songs that don't require that part of my throat. Though it's difficult I can play around it. Though recently I've been playing heavier songs and testing with more shouting and heavier vocals. I find it incredibly fun though I imagine my neighbours don't. It's also great for letting off lots of energy I tend to build up, I always have pent up energy so it's always nice to get it out.

I dare say I'm quite good at singing as well, though you may not be able to tell from my practice as I tend to try to push myself and experiment and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If I had to curate something though, it probably would be a ok show. Though my stage fright is quite bad, though I can shake it off. My guitar is probably much less commendable but I haven't been doing that one my whole life so it's fair. Plus I'm completely self taught, though I have reached a point where I feel I just need to get physically better before I continue learning more mentally. Once I can play barre for 10 minutes straight I'll feel happier. Got weak little hands.

My point being, I couldn't do that today. I did some songs that had that more heavier feel, I even leaned into the sickly, rough feel with some bright eyes songs I knew would fit it. But I was really in a screaming and shouting mood, it just wasn't possible. I can't even talk in my normal voice, I'm like an octave lower than I usually am. So I've been singing a lot lower than usual today, a lot calmer as well. I probably shouldn't sing at all but I don't think that's possible. I'm the type to pipe, I'll sing to myself at every given moment of silence. For kitchen tasks, I find country songs are the ones that usually show up. Hallelujah comes up a lot in general (Leonard Cohen). When I'm cleaning, lots of indie songs. Sometimes I even have my own songs. I made a lovely little song that has a repeating chorus that is probably the catchiest thing I've ever conceived. Not being able to do that consistently as well has been awful.

Other small things it has affected. Me and my housemate are like blind cats. We meow to alert one another of our presence. If they don't meow back then they're not in their room. I mean I think we just do it out of habit but I need to give a real reason. I can't make a realistic meow. That pitch is completely locked off from me right now. I also can't make funny sounds! I can't say yipee! In a high pitched voice. I can't do a muscle man impression. The best I can do is a rough aussie accent where nobody else gets what I'm referencing. This is peak comedy my friends are missing out on. They're gonna love it when I rewatch big lez.

I hate being without the full potential of my voice. It's driving me up the fucking wall. I need it to fix itself within 3 days or I am fucked. I've got a concert and it's gonna be shouting and screaming and moshing and jumping. I need my voice. Throat soothers, whiskey and ice cream. Though I can't afford any of those so I'll just have to steal the throat soothers and ice cream.

Anyway rant over, this one will be interesting to explain at therapy.

#creative writing #spilled thoughts #writing

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frogsandfries · 1 year

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I'm not crying

I'm hormonal and exhausted and my test results came back normal for where I should be in my period 😭😭😭

I shouldn't be surprised, but there's so much that can go wrong--like, I'm still kind of surprised my actual organs look good. Which indicates that, for whatever reason, I'm just not producing proper hormones in my own, but then, why? Where are the systems failing? What needs to be charged up?

But I'm thinking, if we try really hard this cycle, we should see some results. I will take any results. Chemical pregnancy, miscarriage--that's about as far as I'm ready to assume.

If snake-eyes, then we reeeaaaalllllyyy seriously need to look at the other contributing party. At whom I am presently very strongly...... not in a good mood with.

Not to air my dirty laundry, but I've been trying to gather my words about it--this coming from the brain that could not remember my date of birth yesterday. The words are something like this: I'm not pleased that my partner is talking to this other person by phone at whatever-the-fuck o'clock, while I'm sleeping. Like, you want it to be not-cheating? That's booty-call hours and blatantly behind my back and I'm allowed to be pissed off about that.

I'm also mad because my partner doesn't give a shit about maintaining our home. The chores pile up because I don't have the time and energy for them and I'm busy working--I shouldn't have to do all the housework. Like, fucking do something around here!! If you don't want to be here......... leave. I'll just buy some sperm on my own.

It's like, it doesn't feel right that my partner is fucking around instead of helping me maintain our home. And I've told them, I've repeated myself over and over: A trick I use personally is, I don't have to do the whole thing right now. Picking at it, little by little, is fine, it's great. It is actually better than not doing it at all.

My standards are NOT too high. They are not high at all. It's not like I need the walls mopped weekly or to bleach everything. We've never actually vacuumed this carpet and we've been here for two years. That's how low my standards are. Plus, fuck this carpet. I did not ask for this shit. Ew.

Like, paying the bills is the easy part. I'm here earning the money to pay the bills. And I'm still expected to manage the household, but I'm not respected for maintaining that role. That role is only meaningful if, when I tell you "the dishes need to be done", they fucking get done.

I mean, I've thought and considered often, maybe it would be better off this relationship was formally, officially dissolved. I don't need to go find another sexual partner. I just want to start my family and get on with my life. I've been prepared to be a single parent. At this rate, it doesn't matter that there's another adult in the household, I'm going to be a single parent any-fucking-way. I can already see, I'm not getting help with feeding or diapers or laundry or dishes.

That's what I'm pissed off about. And I don't know what to do about it. I'm really tired of begging for chores to get done by people who aren't presently going to a money-job and aren't doing much else throughout the day, but are contributing to the messes.

I have actually even lowered my acceptable thresholds when it comes to cleanliness, but I am not being met halfway.

I just am not seeing how adding another party into this is a bigger priority than fixing what exists already. If you add another atom to an unstable molecule, sometimes it stabilizes.

More often, there's some kind of reaction and atoms are lost or ejected first. Then stabilization happens.

That's what I'm pissed off about.

It has been eating at me, but sleep deprivation is making it extremely hard to shove down anymore.

I deserve more than an emotionally good relationship between two people at the exclusion of life-stuff. I need someone who can do the life-stuff.

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theboardwalkbody · 1 year

Text

Time to play:Is it Taltz causing my immune system to fail or is it Normal?

Two weeks ago I had sinusitis symptoms. Took antibiotics and it helped.

That same weekend I ended up in the hospital with what turned out to be a bladder infection (which I had 0 symptoms of prior to the extreme pain it ended up causing) and, according to the scan at the hospital I also have a cyst of "significant size" on my ovary which between that and the swollen bladder have been working together to cause chaos.

Plus I got a cold sore. My paternal grandmother got them all the time and passed them to my sister and I as babies and sometimes if I've been sick enough they come out. It's had me in a bad place mentally because of my own personal feelings about it.

Still battling some issues with that despite the antibiotics but now I'm not sure if it's infection or just the cyst.

Now last Friday I woke up with a sore throat and mild congestion. Over the weekend both things have been getting worse.

I couldn't sleep At All last night. I tried going to bed around midnight but my throat was so dry and my sinuses hurt I was too uncomfortable and just kept tossing and turning until about 230. At that point I remembered the window was open and thought maybe the dry air coming in was causing it so I shut it. It helped a little. I wanted to drink something but I've been hesitant since the bladder issues are worse at night and it makes me not want to drink anything.

I tried to do some day dreaming hoping it would lead to real dreaming and it did but only for about 40 minutes.

From 315 to 415 I once again struggled with the intense dry throat and pain.

Now from 415 to 6 I couldn't shut my brain up. Intense racing thoughts and anxiety related to work.

I missed work last Monday because of the bladder stuff. I was in so much pain and had added nausea from the antibiotics.

I was supposed to start a new case today, a new patient's first day with our company. I really wanted this case for a few different reasons and I think it would be a really good fit.

But I've been awake all night, I feel run down, I feel hot, my throat is hurting, my sinuses are burning, I feel so tired.

They said it's OK and to feel better when I called (finally made the decision at like 615 because I was supposed to be up and getting ready to leave for 730) but I feel so guilty. I feel like it reflects bad on me and the company and it's day one and I really wanted this case and I hope they don't take me off it for good because of this and idk.

I spent hours beating myself up over it before I called and now I'm still beating myself up over it. Despite knowing I'd be suffering during a full 8hr hands on shift with the night I had and how I feel in general because of whatever is going on.

So I'm kinda miserable all around.

I keep trying to convince myself it's just allergies. Because the pollen and the blooming trees, and the change of weather, etc. But I took allergy meds and they didn't do anything. I took the 24hr pseudoephedrine and still nothing. I think it's either the sinus infection has come back or maybe it's a new one, or possibly tonsillitis because on Saturday I did have some spots on my tonsils (I get tonsil stones though and because of my cold sore I didn't poke around at them to see if it was stones or not) and they are swollen (which for me is normal anymore but they look extra swollen and red now).

So idk.

Part of me wants to be like que cera, cera

But the bigger part of me (where the anxiety and mental health issues live) is going to beat myself up over today.

My Lola knows I'm not feeling great and I'm upset because, despite the fan being on which she doesn't enjoy, she jumped down from her loop/perch and is laying on the bed with me (she did use the opportunity to scratch the curtain, though). She's going to snuggle with me and then get zoomies. It is prime for zoomies.

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thecreationofevelyn · 1 year

Text

7/2/2023

Who I want to become vs who I currently am.

The past two days have felt like an absolute battle in my mind, I'm so angry at myself and have been constantly condemning myself for "failing". I've been practicing being kinder to myself but I'm beginning to struggle when I see myself having made choices and still actively making choices that go against my own benefit and ultimately land me in waters where I feel anxious, worried, overwhelmed and have my motivation knocked out of me because I slip into the "well, what's the point now?!" mindset, I just get mad at myself for being "pathetic". It is all extremely human of me.

Sometimes I forget that is what I am, a human being...just trying and learning. I give this compassion to everyone else but I struggle to offer it to myself; I expect myself to have everything figured out and to be able to do everything all at once, constantly, and have done it perfectly. If I lose my motivation, if I make a poor choice, if I can't find the energy to make myself do something, I then start punishing myself mentally, asking myself why I'm like this, why can't I just be more disciplined and loyal to who I envision for myself, how do I expect myself to do anything if I carry on like this? When will I realize I need to put the effort in if I want these results? etc etc, etc.

I have missed an assignment for university, realistically I can contact student support and ask for an exceptional circumstances form and be granted the opportunity to hand this assignment in at a later date, they are aware that I struggle with bouts of poor mental health already. But I feel like the fact that I couldn't keep up, that I couldn't get the piece done on time, that I'm actually nowhere near done with it, means I'm a complete loser.

I've also put more weight on than I'm happy with, I naturally have a fast metabolism so really I should be thankful I've only put on what I have because it's also taken years for me to put it on, but I can't stop punishing myself for choosing to eat a poor diet and not exercise properly, for taking advantage of having a fast metabolism in the first place; I'm even angrier at myself for the money I have wasted on fast food that doesn't even taste nice, all for the convenience because at the end of so many days, after working, being a mom, a carer, a uni student, learning to drive, taking an English course and being the only adult in my house, I didn't have the energy or motivation to cook all the time.

And I am angry at my sleeping habits, it's currently gone 2am and I'm sitting in bed writing this, knowing damn well I'm going to be exhausted in the morning. I'm sick of opening my eyes and the first wave of feeling I have is dread. Did I miss my alarm? Has the bus arrived yet? Have I missed the start of the day? Have I failed before my eyes even opened?!

Honestly, I cannot take this feeling anymore, I'm so sick and tired of being this person.

But I am trying, and it's little steps but I'm still kicking myself for the steps I missed.

Some positives; I joined a dance class to socialize and exercise plus I joined a drama group, but I won't be meeting with them until next week as they are currently running a production. I planned a diet and have begun it, I've made a playlist of exercise routines and have planned out time in the day to go for walks. I bought herbal tea that helps you sleep and began using a weighted eye mask too, I'm setting THREE loud alarms to go off all at the same time! Tomorrow I will contact student support to put what I need in place too.

I feel like I'm climbing a mountain in flip-flops all the time, and the moment I slip, I'm furious at myself for not being apparently capable enough. Sometimes I think I'm being too harsh on myself and other times I don't think I'm harsh enough to myself. I think I let myself get away with everything.

I need to realize that I cannot entirely change my habits and lifestyle overnight, but I also have to realize that I cannot stop trying to do better because I slipped up on a part; I'm rarely ever in a grey zone even when I'm aware of there being one, I always think in black and white, which doesn't work for real life! Writing like this helps me get my thoughts down though and helps me rationalize where my brain is being extremist which it is inclined to do more often than not.

Goodnight xo

#personal blog #self improvement #self discovery #personal journal #journalling

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dailyreverie · 2 years

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hiding their face in the other's neck + Poe 👀

You know Poe's neck is my ultimate weakness how dare you. But also thanks for this.

I've been extremely sleepy due to a new job schedule so I might be projecting that in here. Not at all sorry. This is an ode to Poe Dameron's neck, plus a gif of it so none of you forget what a menace this man's neck is.

22: hiding their face in the other’s neck

Pairing: Poe Dameron x reader

*************

You knew you should be paying attention. You knew that whatever General Organa was saying was important and that you should be listening, but your eyes just couldn't stay open. Even with your hand clutching the third cup of caf of the day, your mind kept fogging every few minutes while the rest of you kept clinging to the last few bits of energy you had.

It didn't help that Poe had arrived to his usual seat next to you, giving your leg a soft squeeze in form of a greeting while keeping his gaze focused on the General. His actions, though, made you take a deep breath in and sit up straight. He was warm, every goddamn day he was warm, and with sleep trying to take over you the last thing you needed was that.

"Morning," you said, shooting a quick smile to his profile. Poe smiled without turning to look at you, knowing how distracted he could get if he did that. However, it was you who got distracted when you saw how much of Poe's neck could be seen with the very open shirt he was wearing.

It was the perfect spot for your tired head to rest, you concluded. So with another deep breath, you scooted closer to him, his scent pulling you in closer and closer until your forehead reached the crook of his neck.

"Hey, you alright there?" Poe's shoulder shook you, the cold air coming out of your nose tickling him. "Couldn't sleep again?"

"No," You whispered, listening to Poe's worried sigh as you did. You burrowed your face further into his neck, hiding as best as you could as you closed your eyes. Your lips found his skin then, placing a feathered kiss on it, feeling the comforting temperature of his body could put you to sleep in a matter of seconds.

"Don't get too comfortable, I don't want you getting in trouble." He warned you, finding your hand to lace your fingers together.

"Doesn't help that you have a very inviting neck, Commander."

Poe snorted, trying to keep quiet despite your words. "Inviting neck? Seriously?" He felt your smile against his neck, making him turn his head slightly to kiss the top of your face. "You are something else."

"I'm not the one parading my neck during a briefing, if anything this is 100% your fault."

His words died in his throat when he turned to look at you again. Even though you were still smiling he could sense your breathing begin to even out as you curled in closer to him, your eyelashes closed against his neck. With a last kiss on your knuckles he let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, making you sink even deeper into him.

You really were tired, at least tired enough to fall asleep in the middle of a briefing, making his heart sink at the thought of your restless nights and early mornings. If he could grant you at least a few minutes of sleep, he was going to do it.

"You have a very comfortable neck, too." You sighed, not even trying to fight sleep anymore.

"It's alright, I got you, get some rest." He replied in a low voice, once again his lips findings the top of your head to give it a gentle kiss.

"Sure?" You were gone before Poe could reply, with your head fully resting on top of his shoulder and your face completely hidden by the crook of his very exposed and very warm neck. You could stay like that forever, you realize, as the sleep you get then is the best one you've had in weeks.

*****************

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imthebadguyyy · 3 years

Text

God, I Love You

Lewis Hamilton X Reader

Summary - Its been a tiring couple of race weeks, and you just want to love on your man

Stretching, you slowly opened your eyes as the first bright rays of sunshine peeked through a gap in the curtains, that you had drawn shut the previous night. As you slowly regained complete consciousness, you became aware of the slight weight around your waist, and the feel of warm breath on the back of your neck.

Suddenly remembering the events of the previous day, a smile etched itself onto your lips, as you rolled over to see a sight you had sorely missed for the past three weeks. Lewis was still fast asleep, head buried in your neck, and arm slung around your waist. Smiling as you took in the sight, you became faintly aware of the sound of paw steps down the hall, as Roscoe's face peeked in through the open door. Sitting up very slowly so you didn't wake your sleeping boyfriend, you extended your arms towards the dog, who came trotting forward for a morning cuddle.

After some morning loving for the dog, you decided to get up and start your day, and let Lewis sleep off the exhaustion, exhilaration, stress and jet lag from the races he had won. He had only come home yesterday, and it had been so late in the evening that you had just eaten dinner together, and talked for a bit, but sensing how hard it was for him to even keep his eyes open, you had simply gone to bed. But today, you had planned to simply spend time together, to make up for the time he had not been there.

Stepping into the bathroom, you did your morning routine, of brushing, using the toilet, and tying your hair up into a ponytail. Then you made your way into the kitchen, the bulldog following right by your side. When you had begun dating Lewis, Roscoe had simply started treating you like his mom, and once, when Lewis had referred to you as 'Mumma' while talking to him, you cried. That was the moment you knew that this was always going to be your family. Ever since then the dog had become your fur baby as well, and Lewis often joked that Roscoe loved you more than he loved his own dad.

Deciding that waffles and fruit was the way to go, you quickly whipped up the batter, and poured it into the Mickey Mouse shaped waffle iron that you had bought at a Disney themed store. Picking out some strawberries, mango, orange segments and blueberries to put in a bowl on the side, you also decided to prepare Roscoe's bowl, so the doggo could eat with you guys. Soon, the smell of waffles wafted through the air, and you took out two perfectly shaped waffles to put onto the plate. Quickly pouring more batter into the pan, you began to set up the breakfast tray, and then make your way back to the bedroom.

With breakfast eventually ready, you picked up the tray laden with waffles, cut fruit, tea, maple syrup and a bowl of dog food and walked up quietly to the bedroom. The curtains were still drawn, although the gentle breeze kept moving them to the side, causing little rays of sunshine to peek through and shine on Lewis's face. To combat the light, he had simply pulled the fluffy white blanket over his head to keep the light away from his face, and you mentally "awed" at the sight. Setting the tray down on the bedside table, you climbed into the bed, and wrapped you arms around his torso, peppering kisses onto his neck, and moving onto his face, kissing his chin, nose, cheeks, forehead, eyes, and then finally, just above his lips.

Stirring as you kissed his face, Lewis's eyes slowly fluttered open, taking in his surroundings. After momentary confusion about where he was, he remembered that he was back home. Back with Y/N and Roscoe. A feeling of happiness and pure joy began to spread through his body, as he turned to see Y/N's e/c eyes looking at him with pure love and adoration. "Good morning bubs! Did you sleep well?" she asked, fingers tracing shapes over his bare skin. "Morning baby. I did" he replied, snuggling into her warmth, burying his face in her chest, as she began to softly play with his hair. "I made breakfast"

"You didn't have to" "I wanted too" 'MmmHmm"

As you basked in each others warmth and cuddled up to each other, Roscoe, deciding that he wanted some loving too, jumped onto the bed, right between the two of you. "Hello Roscoe" Lewis said, reaching out to pet the doggo. Wagging his tail, he trotted up to your body, and sat down near your tummy, resting his head on Lewis's shoulder. Feeling loved up and comfortable between both your boys, you let out a sigh of content, and rested your head on your boyfriend's shoulder. Humming something under his breath, Lewis began running his fingers along your bare arms, causing goosebumps to erupt over your skin.

"The foods getting cold" you suddenly said out loud, hopping out of bed to go and get the tray from the bedside table. Getting out of bed, Lewis made his way to the bathroom, and eventually came back to the room in a couple of minutes, to find Roscoe munching away at some treats, while you had picked up a little folding table and placed it on the bed to rest the tray on. Feeling extremely happy once again, he climbed back onto the bed, and grabbed his share of the food on the table.

His phone began to vibrate, Toto's caller ID flashing across the screen. Groaning, he put the phone face down on the table, and ignored the call. "Why aren't you picking up ? It could be important you know" Sighing, he turned to you, "I spoke to him yesterday, and if its that important he can simply text me after I don't pick up. Plus I've seen him for three weeks straight, and now I want to spend time with YOU" pouting, he looked back at you, making you let out a snort of laughter at the look on his face. "Ok drama queen. Now eat your breakfast and then we can take a shower"

Smirking, he looked at you from the corner of his eye, "we?"

"Yes, now shut up and eat" you said, nudging him with a glint in your eyes.

"Yes ma'am"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After taking a shower together, and washing the dishes and the general monotonous household work, the both of you decided to take a walk along the beach, and take a frisbee along with you.

Dressing in the appropriate attire for the beach, you put Roscoe in his "ROSCOE 44" harness and walked out of the house. The beach was only five minutes away from your house, and you enjoyed the salty smell of the ocean air. It was a bright and sunny day, accompanied by a pleasant, cool ocean breeze as well. As you neared the golden sand, the bulldog bolted towards the sand, and ran right up to the water, and turned back to look inquiringly at the two of you. Laughing, you caught up with him, setting down the beach bag Lewis had packed for your beach day on a towel. Deciding to just relish in the Sun rays, you laid down a second towel, and removed your wrap around dress to lie in your bikini.

Lewis on the the other hand, decided to go for a swim in the water, and stripped off his t-shirt, so he remained in just his swim trunks. Looking over the top of your sunglasses, you couldn't help your gaze wandering all over his toned and muscled body, letting your eyes drink in the sculpted muscle and the tattoos that adorned his body, eyes lingering over each and every one, teeth unconsciously sinking onto your lower lip. "Enjoying the view?" his cocky voice made you look up at his face, still feeling slightly dazed.

"Yeah, because its mine to enjoy" you replied, throwing him a smirk. Rolling his eyes, he ran to the water to join Roscoe for a swim, while you watched with a smile on your face, as you watched your two boys chase the waves together. Whipping out your phone, you opened Instagram, to film the pair, and uploaded it onto your story with the caption : beach days with these two make everything better 🤍🤍

When the rays became too hot, you guys packed up your bags and made your way back home, stopping to buy some ice cream to beat the heat. Deciding to simply order some Chinese takeout food for dinner, with a bottle of wine, you settled down in front of your TV to have a movie night together. Lewis was in the kitchen, making some popcorn, and bringing you guys some wine as well.

Settling for 'Lion King' for your first movie, you let Lewis sit down, and prop his feet up on the pouffe in front of the sofa, while you tucked your feet up in the sofa, and laid your head down on his chest, his arm coming round your shoulder to hold you tightly. Roscoe sat by Lewis's feet, already asleep from the tiring day he had had at the beach. As Simba met Timon and Pumba, Lewis turned to look down at your face, "God, I Love You" smiling back at him, you leaned up to press your lips to his jaw. " I love you too"

Leaning his head down, he pressed his lips to yours, setting down the bowl of popcorn, to wrap his hands around your back, to keep you in place, as you pushed yourself up, wrapping your arms around his neck, as his hands began sliding up your back to finally rest in your loose hair, while yours slid down to his toned shoulders, and straddled his lap. The kiss grew more and more desperate, until you two finally broke apart, for the need of oxygen, resting your foreheads against each other, breathing heavily. " I love you. You're so good to me"

"I love you more"

"Not possible"

The moment was broken by a loud "wuff" as you both turned to look at the dog, who had stood up and was now looking up at the two of you with a look that said 'get a room parents!' "Roscoe!' Lewis whined, "We were having a moment" Laughing, you got off his lap, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I love you. Now, we have to feed to dog"

'Mmhmm' he mumbled, leaning into your touch.

"If you get up now and set the table, I promise I'll lock the door so Roscoe doesn't come in tonight" you said, looking over your shoulder, to wink at him. Eyes darkening slightly, he turned to look at you, and walked right up to you, pressing his palm onto your waist. "You better lock that door tonight. No doggy trauma in this house"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK OK OK OK FIRST F1 FIC. let me know what you thought !

NO I HAD TO ADD THIS BECAUSE IT SUITS THIS STORY SO WELL. im soft 🥺❤

Thank you thank you thank you to @grandestrategia for the idea ❤

#lewis please #sir lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton #f1 #formula 1 #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton imagines #f1 imagine #f1 imagines #f1 x reader #imthebadguyyyfics

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lihikainanea · 3 years

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i was thinking….tiger and bill are getting ready for an event. maybe it’s a premier, or just something where bill is going to be the center of attention and he needs to be poised and on all night. tiger is going as his plus one, but she’s extremely anxious. all she wants to do is snuggle up with her good dude in the privacy of their own home but bill can’t skip this event and she doesn’t want him to go alone because he needs moral support, so she insists on tagging along. however, she’s slowly panicking inside the entire night. their hotel room is a hub of activity, with people going in and out. but through the chaos bill can tell tiger is struggling.

she doesn’t want to put a damper on the night so she doesn’t go to him for comfort, but thankfully, he swoops in when it becomes evident that she needs him. he politely requests that everyone leave the room for a few minutes, and once they’re completely alone, he leads tiger over to the bed, where he sits on the edge and instructs her to kneel. he helps soothe her, letting her suck on his fingers and nuzzle against his thigh, assuring her that it’s going to be okay. it helps calm her, and gives her the boost she needs to get through the night. especially when he promises that he’ll reward her later on for being such a good girl for him 🥰

Baby ever since this came in, I have been just itching to drabble it and I haven't had time. But this thought? This thought has been on my mind all week, because it's beautiful. Tiger starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by Bill's world but knowing she's not in a safe enough space to let it show, to let him take care of it. But Bill looking at her and knowing anyway, and stepping in to take care of it.

Protector Bill, stepping up to the plate every time. God it just sends me and it's Thursday night but technically my Friday because it's Canadian Thanksgiving, I've had a martini, so buckle up--let's talk about this.

There is something so beautiful about being known. Something so terrifying but simultaneously comforting to be known by someone that you've had the courage to be vulnerable with, someone you've have the courage to let step in and help you. Someone who wants to be the person who always knows, the person who is your comfort, your soothing balm, and the one who will step in the minute they see that things are too much for you.

So like, here's the thing. Bill's world? It intimidates the shit out of tiger. It really does. She knows him so well at this point that she honestly just forgets that he's famous, she forgets he has this whole other side to him--and that's the only side the world sees. Tiger sees a side that is so completely different, that it's easy to forget the other exists. To tiger, Bill is....he's Bill. He's her biggest cheerleader, her closest confidant, her rock. He's the guy who takes care of her, always, and who puts her needs first. He's the guy who literally blinks one eye at a time when he's too tired, he's the guy with the 5 o'clock shadow who rumbles in her ear and wakes her up every morning, the guy who makes the best scrambled eggs on the planet and who cuts the crusts off of her sandwich for her.

But he's also a Skarsgard, from a famous family, movie star. Dude behind the terrifying Pennywise remake. He's the guy on the talk shows, the guy on the press junkets, on the red carpet.

But that guy--that guy doesn't exist to tiger. So when the two worlds collide, tiger sometimes has a hard time just....computing all of it.

And you know, for his part, Bill isn't the biggest fan of press junkets or opening night. There's just too much buzz for his humble Swedish heart. It's too many interviews, each only 5 minutes long but they last for days, and it's all the same questions. It's not the journalists' fault--they all want the same scoop. Bill regurgitates the same answers hundreds of times and still tries to sound enthusiastic. It's an endless loop of talk shows, with fake smiles and terrible jokes. He doesn't like it, which is always why he appreciates the moral support, the steadiness that she brings to him. She comes along for the big ones, the big releases where he knows he's going to need her--need her balance, her calming presence, where he needs someone or something he can focus on other than himself. Because everyone is focusing on him. But when she's there? He can focus on if she ate breakfast, if she's hungry, if she's warm enough. He can focus on what her plans are in the afternoon, making sure he's around when she gets back. He can focus on holding her close, scooping her up into his lap as they eat dinner in their bathrobes in a fancy hotel. He doesn't have to focus on the next 500 interviews tomorrow, the suit tailoring, walking the red carpet--he can focus on her, if she had a good day, making sure she eats dinner.

It balances him out.

And tiger knows that, she knows he needs the moral support. But that's also why she feels terrible when she starts to slip a bit, when her mind starts to get away on her--because she should be the one steadying him, but all of a sudden she's the one who needs him in a real bad way, when he already has enough to worry about.

And she tries, you know? She tries to keep it together--but it's just too hard. People have been in their space all day--journalists in and out of their room on a 5-minute rotation. Bill has his TV make up on, he's in a coordinated outfit from his stylist, and tiger just feels like everyone is getting a piece of what's her. Journalists are asking personal questions. Stylists are all up on him, adjusting shit. His groomer is getting so close, so often. And gradually, but pretty quickly--tiger can't see her Bill anymore. She can't see the kind eyes, the soft smile. All she sees is his fake smile, his rehearsed answers, clothes that he would probably never wear of his own accord.

She can't see him there, and suddenly, she starts to not feel so safe anymore. There's too many people, it's all just too fast and too fake, and she starts to slip.

She tries desperately to hide it--Bill hates days like these anyway, and knowing that she's now doing so well would just add a ton of stress on his plate, when that's the last thing he needs. She's here to support him, and if she's slipping then it means he needs to start taking care of her and she just...she feels so guilty at that. So she tries to hide it. His publicist already warns any journalist that Bill won't be taking questions about his plus one, the girl in the corner looking closer and closer to a panic attack--so at least there's that. Tiger moves around the room pretty freely, because it's a huge room and as long as she stays away from the cameras and any of the lightning, she can slip by undetected.

But Bill knows. Because Bill always knows.

Tiger has a lot of tells. She'll fidget. She'll run her hand through her hair. She'll pick at her lips. All of these things are indicators that Bill will pick up on immediately, but beyond that--he just sees it. It's completely imperceptible to everyone else, but Bill sees her slipping. Sees her getting small in a bad way. And to make things even worse--he sees her trying to hide it from him. He sees her doing everything she can to try and make it seem like she's okay, just to support him.

There's a moment here and there for respite--Bill gets 10 minutes between interviews every so often just so he can take a piss in peace, grab a quick bite to eat, take a brain break. They're few and far between, but they're there--and one the first one, he doesn't even wait for the journalist to leave before he makes a beeline for tiger. He juts his chin to the next room--an empty room, one with a door, and she quickly follows him there. He shuts the door behind them, and promptly grabs her face gently--and kisses the hell out of her. It's long and deep, and he doesn't stop until he has to. Tiger is putty in his arms, he's supporting her full weight, but he just kisses the hell out of her.

"Hi," he says softly when he breaks away.

"Hi," she squeaks out.

"You doing okay?" he asks, giving her another soft kiss.

"Yeah," she stammers.

"Convince me."

She pouts, closing her hands around his biceps and leaning her forehead into his chest.

"I'm fine," she lies, "Are you okay?"

He doesn't answer, just quirks a brow at her. Suddenly, her face is pinched with guilt--god, she's there to support him, and here she is falling apart. And now he has to deal with that. Before she even realizes her expression, Bill pokes the line between her eyebrows, rubs his thumb over it to smooth it out.

"Nuh uh," he says, "None of that."

"None of what?"

"That," he runs his thumb over her brows, smiling softly at her as he presses his nose to hers. "I'll make it better, sweet girl. Just hold on a bit longer for me."

"Bill," she whines, "You shouldn't have to--"

"I want to," he interrupts. She whines again, but he tuts her.

"I need it too, tiger," he says softly, "You needing me. It helps me."

Tiger jumps at the knock on the door, but Bill just hugs her in tighter and kisses her again.

"Soon," he promises, "Just hold on a bit more."

And she tries, you know? She does. It doesn't go well, but she tries. And knowing that Bill knows just somehow makes it a little better, a little more manageable--because he told her he'd take care of it, and she knows he will. She just has to wait. Now it's not a matter of IF she'll get what she needs, it's just a matter of when. And that's better.

At the end of the day, when the interviews are done but the glam squad shows up to get him ready for the red carpet, Bill holds his hands up and smiles kindly.

"Sorry everyone, but I need a few minutes," he announces, "Thank you all for being here and being on time, but I'll see you in a bit."

His publicist puts her hand on his arm, her brows pinched, and says a few words in Swedish. Bill doesn't falter. Not for a second. He keeps his smile, and says some words back.

This is not up for negotiation. This is final.

Truth be told, his humble Swedish side is probably killing him on this--everyone is here on time, and he pulls the prima donna card and shoos everyone out of his room and makes them wait. This delay will make him late to the red carpet, but he doesn't care. Nothing else matters in that moment, except tiger and making sure she's okay. That's the only thing that matters.

More hushed words from his publicist. Bill doesn't budge an inch, and suddenly his smile gets a little more tense. He raises his eyebrows, and his message is clear.

And then with a nod from his publicist to the awaiting entourage, suddenly everybody is leaving the room--finally. The lights are gone, there's no cameras, there's nobody in the room except the two of them. At long last. Tiger looks to hims nervously, but he just calmly shuts the door behind everybody and then turns to her. He walks over to the sofa slowly, every bit authoritative, and plucks two cushions and puts them on the floor.

"On your knees," he says to her. Tiger all but dives for it, rushing to him and then holding onto his hands as she lowers down.

"You're going to be late," she mumbles, settling on her knees. Bill runs his fingers through her hair.

"Is that up to you to worry about?" he asks softly.

"No," she mumbles. And she can't help it, once she's on her knees she just sighs in relief--a deep exhale, her shoulders hunching over as she rests her forehead on his thigh.

"Talk to me," he says, running his thumb over her lips. When she tries to take it in her mouth he pulls it back, and she whimpers.

"It's just a lot," she admits, "All of this."

"How so?"

"I know you, and this....isn't you," she tells him, "And I just missed you."

It's his turn to sigh, and he pushes his thumb into her mouth as he crouches down to be eye level with her.

"You're the only one who knows me tiger," he tells her, "The only one. None of this is real."

She grabs onto his wrist, pulling his thumb out and kissing the pad of it.

"I know," she mumbles, "God, I'm here to support you and here I am a fucking mess over nothing."

"It's not nothing," he soothes, "Tiger, this is a side of me that isn't...me."

She sighs, running her hand through her hair.

"You're going to be late," she huffs, going to stand. But Bill pushes her shoulders back down.

"First of all, you don't make the rules around here kid," he says sternly, "Second of all, if I'm 10 minutes late--may as well be 30."

"Bill--"

But he clamps a hand over her mouth, and his face gets just a little mean.

"Tiger," he leans in real close, "I will throw you over my knee right here. Try me."

She retracts at that, sink a little more into herself. He reaches for his belt, undoing it and then popping the button on his jeans.

"Are you going to be my good girl?" he warns, "Or are you going to make me spank you so hard, you won't be able to sit tonight?"

She bites her lip, reaching to pull him out of his jeans but he smacks her hands away.

"Answer me."

"I'll be good," she promises, "Please, bud."

"There's my good girl," he says, pulling his length out. With a hand on the back of her head, he pulls her in closer.

"Nice and slow," he says, "We have all the time in the world sweet girl."

(if we even dirtier, they totally have the secks after and he comes inside--and uses a plug. And that night, each time he looks at her, he just knows she's filled up with him and it fuels every single possessive fibre of his being.)

#sub tiger #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #BFF!Bill #bill skarsgard fanfic #bill skarsgard fanfiction #bill skasgard fiction

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floating-mid-air · 3 years

Text

The Princess of all Saiyans

Masterlist

Hey Everyone! It's been a while. My life's been kind of hectic the past couple of months. Long story short: I Graduated from Highschool this year, so I was busy with everything having to do with that. Then my summer job sadly prevented me from writing as well. And then I started College, which was a big change for me. For now, there are no more chapters in my life opening or closing. Now I'm finally in a place where I feel comfortable continuing this book again. I could've honestly been writing during all of this chaos. But I wouldn't have been pleased with the quality of my writing. I'm really excited to get back into the swing of things. I don't think this chapter panned out the way I originally planned, but I'm still happy with it. As always, I hope you enjoy it. And if you have any comments or concerns, feel free to let me know. My inbox is always open!

Chapter 11

You've been walking for quite some time now, and the experience has been excruciating. You haven't been in this much pain since you and Raditz were on planet Telia, ten-something years ago. Those damn underlings were able to get a good sneak attack on you. Though you can't say, you let them get away scot-free. You made sure to make their entire dreadful race pay for that injury. You and Raditz had covered up that incident, much like you're doing with your current injury.

"So---" You can hear Goku talking to Krillin from just slightly left of you. "Did you guys find the senzu beans?" Wow, Kakarot may be the least subtle creature you've ever encountered.

"Ya." Krillin chuckles. "All four of us were in pretty rough shape." Goku glances at you with a worried look on his face. You glare at him as Raditz eyes the two of you skeptically. He knows something's off between the two of you. Maybe something serious did happen while you and his brother were trapped together.

A bit more time has passed, and you've been trying your best to keep up with the others. But it isn't as easy as you thought. You're now trailing behind the rest of them, with Raditz turning back to look at you every so often. The largest Saiyan slows down to catch up with your slower pace, now walking beside you.

He turns to you, whispering in a low tone. "Something's off." Raditz can no longer stay silent about his concerns. First, it was the strange vibes between you and Kakarot. And now it's your out-of-character demeanor making him uneasy.

"About what?"

"You. Typically you walk beside your brother, and when he doesn't let you, you make sure you're always only a few paces behind. But right now, you couldn't be more content to trail everyone. Plus, you're far too confident to not be in the very front." Raditz has been around far too long for your liking. Damn him. He knows you far too well, and you hate him for it.

You roll your eyes at him. "So this conclusion of yours is based on the way I'm walking? I'm tired. When I fought, Burter, that physically drained me. And then I got trapped in a ditch with your moronic brother, that mentally drained me. I'm exhausted, Raditz."

"It's not just the way you're walking. It's your mannerisms as well." He points at your side. "Your hand hasn't moved from your side from the moment I first saw you."

"God, Raditz." You scoff. "Stop overanalyzing everything."

"Getting defensive now? That's your M.O whenever you're hiding something." He looks back and forth between your face and your hand that has remained glued to your side. The gears in the older Saiyan's head slowly but surely turning. " Y/N, are you hurt?"

"No." You snap your eyes shut, biting your lip hard enough to draw blood in an attempt to suppress a wince of pain. "I'm fine."

He tilts his head at you. "Y/N, I know you claim otherwise, but I'm not stupid. I know you're in pain."

You chuckle softly in a self-pitying way. "Am I that easy to read?"

Raditz shakes his head, smiling to himself. "No, I've just known you for a long time now." He returns to his serious demeanor, his gaze returning to the area of your wound. "How bad is it?"

"I barely feel it at all. Though, climbing out of that ditch must have reopened the cut."

Raditz snickers. "You're a bad liar."

"That's strange. I've been told in the past that I'm quite good at lying."

A smirk spreads across Raditz's lips. "Well, you apparently aren't when I'm involved."

The larger Saiyan glances at the back of your brother's head. You respond with a glare, firmly pulling on a large chunk of his hair. You know what Raditz wants to do, and it's not happening. "Don't even think about it."

"I-I think we should tell him Y/N."

"No." You let go of his hair, tapping his chest with extreme force. "You're going to keep your big mouth shut. Vegeta will freak out. You know how irrational he gets."

Raditz decides to let you have your way--- for now. The man can't help but wonder why you're so stubborn, but then again, his nature isn't much different from yours.

With every minute that passes, your condition only seems to worsen. Your eyes even start to droop. "Y/N?" Raditz turns to you, his features beginning to fill with worry. He places one of his large hands on your forehead. You're burning up. "You have a fever. Your wound must be infected."

"No." You shake your head in disagreement, almost like a child. As your mental state becomes more and more delirious.

"Vegeta!" Raditz shouts, gaining your brother's attention.

"Fuck you, Raditz! You're such a blabbermouth!" You shout at the larger Saiyan in front of you.

"What's wrong this time? Is my sister trying to pull you into another one of her elaborate schemes?"

"Y/N's hurt--- bad." Vegeta's eyes widen, and not even a millisecond later, he rushes to your side. "She has a fever. I think her cut is infected."

"Where is it?" He crosses his arms at you, noticing your hand placed firmly on your side. He moves your hand out of the way with ease, lifting your armor. "How did this happen?"

"Burter nicked me during our fight. It's no big deal."

"No big deal? It's infected, you stupid woman!" He turns his attention to Kakarot. "Did you know about this?"

You snicker. "Oh ya, Vegeta. I get hurt, and the first person I run to tell is Kakarot." Vegeta's fists clench at your sarcastic remark, turning his fit of rage back at you.

"You know, in certain situations, you're more prone to infections. And a planet like Namek checks all of the boxes! You know you need to be more careful. Damn our mother and her faulty genetics!" Sadly that's a trait you had inherited from your mother. On most planets, you'd be fine, and injuring yourself would be no big deal. But Namek has specific conditions that result in you being more vulnerable.

"Raditz, pick her up." Raditz picks you up, giving you a piggyback ride. You wrap your arms around his neck, giving yourself better balance. Vegeta glances up at you. He looks even madder than usual. "With the condition, you're in, you will not be fighting. You will stay away from Jeice, and you won't even enter the same proximity as Ginyu. Do you understand me?"

"But--"

"No!" His voice booms, gaining the attention of every creature for miles. "I'm not kidding around. Do you understand me?"

You bite your lip, tilting your head downwards, avoiding your brother's gaze like the plague. "Yes, Vegeta." Vegeta returns to the front of the group, his mood sourer than ever.

As Raditz begins to walk, he starts talking to you again. "Are you mad at me?" You don't verbally respond. Instead, you claw into his shoulders, your nails digging into his flesh. "Fuck. I'll take that as a yes."

"You're a tattletale."

Raditz chuckles. "No wonder why Vegeta babies you. You'll thank me for this later, you stubborn woman. And I've kept your secrets before, handfuls of them, actually. Like what happened on planet Telia----" Raditz realized the grave mistake he had just made, mentioning that incident in the presence of the very being you worked so hard to hide it from.

You slap the older Saiyan upside the head as Vegeta turns backward, a scowl plastered on his face. "What happened on plant Telia?" It was a rhetorical question, mocking both you and Raditz. "Oh, the three of us will be discussing this in length later. Because it sounds to me like you both lied to me on that initial report." You and Raditz gulp, you've heard that tone from your brother millions of times now, and it has never once become any less terrifying.

"Oh, lighten up, Geta." You groan. "That was like, what? Around thirteen years ago?"

"The amount of time that has passed matters very little to me. As I said before, this is a discussion for later."

A few more hours have passed, which honestly feels like days at this point. And considering Namek's strange day cycle, it very well could've been. "How much farther?" Your question was clearly directed at Vegeta. And at this point, you're not even sure he has any idea where you're headed either.

"I don't know why you're the one complaining." Raditz huffs. "You're not the one doing all of the walking! And if you ask him that one more time, I'm going to drop you." Ok so maybe, that wasn't the first time you've asked that question today. Or the second, or third, you're very bored.

"Man Raditz." You roll your eyes, which are barely open at this point. "You sure complain--- a lot."

"You were just complaining." The long-haired Saiyan grumbles.

"No, I simply asked Vegeta a question. There's a difference Raditz. I know it's hard for your feeble mind to understand." When you're sick, you tend to act, oh what's the word? Bitcher than normal. And that's saying a lot.

Raditz clenches his jaw. "Vegeta. I need a break from your sister."

"That's how I felt ninety percent of the time I was stuck in a room with you, Nappa, and Cado. And you didn't see me running to wine to Frieza about it."

Before Raditz can retort, your brother interjects. "That's enough! From both of you!"

Krillin, Gohan, and Goku have identical bewildered expressions on their faces. Krillin turns to Vegeta, lowering his voice to a whisper. He doesn't want to be the next victim of your wrath. "Do they always fight like this?" The human finds this perplexing. Back on Earth, the pair seemed inseparable. They appeared to be the Saiyan equivalent of what on Earth would be considered best friends.

Vegeta lets out an exaggerated sigh. "Yes, but typically it's more playful in nature. When my sister is sick, she becomes even brattier than usual."

Vegeta's warning to both of you seems to have fallen on dead ears. Because your quarrel has not ceased, in fact, it has only elevated. "I will drop you, you royal brat!"

"I dare you to you second-class runt. I could still kick your ass even in my delirious state. I wouldn't even have to try very hard."

"I'm considering----"

Before Raditz can even get three words out, your bickering is once again interrupted, and not by the person you may think. "Enough!" Gohan shouts. You honestly forgot the others were here for a moment."If you two keep fighting like this, you're going to get all of us killed!" You and Raditz stare at the boy in shock. It's been a long time since the two of you have been yelled at by a child. The last time being when you were children yourselves. Vegeta hasn't changed much since childhood. He's been bossing you around and shouting at you since you were children, but I'm sure that's not very surprising.

"Ya, and I can take Y/N---- if you need a break." Goku rubs the back of his neck, chuckling sheepishly. "Not that I want to hold Y/N or anything."

"No." You rapidly shake your head. "Raditz, I'm sorry. I'll be good now--- I promise."

A wicked grin spreads across Raditz's lips right before he grabs your hands with his larger ones. He loosens your grip around his neck, moving your body with ease, scooping you up into his arms. Every step Raditz takes toward Goku seems even more antagonizing slower than the last. Until he's standing directly in front of his younger brother. He elevates his arms slightly, dropping you right in front of an unsuspecting Goku.

Lucky for you, Goku has sharp reflexes. That allows the Saiyan to catch you easily. Raditz look's his brother dead in the eyes, his typical arrogant grin still on his lips. "She's your problem now, Kakarot." Raditz gazes downward to look at you. "Stop pouting. Maybe next time, you'll be nicer to good old Raditz."

A low growl echoes in the back of your throat as you glare daggers at the Saiyan standing before you. "Ya, or maybe next time, I'll rip out your tail and strangle you with it!" The only thing that's stopping you from lunging at Raditz is Goku's firm grip holding you in place.

Rather than arguing that the entire group has become accustomed to, the whole area has become dead silent. You're no longer pouting. Instead, you are glaring at the man who continues to carry you bridal style. You've never liked being held like this. It makes you feel weak like you have no control over your own body.

What makes you even more irritated, Is how Goku reacts to your death stare. He just grins at you. Does he just never get angry? What kind of Saiyan is he? It fills you with so much anger that someone as dopey as Kakarot has Saiyan blood flowing through his veins.

You clench your fists. You just wanna punch Kakarot so badly. He just has such a punchable face. If you could take away his cheery personality, he'd actually be quite attractive. Wait--- what the hell are you thinking? Kakarot is stupid and way too friendly for you to ever think of him in that way.

You move your fist up, finally giving in to your urges, attempting to punch the man holding you. Probably not your wisest moment, but your brain isn't functioning normally right now. Goku catches your hand with ease. His reflexes are unreal, or maybe this fever has you more sluggish than you believed. You'd prefer to think that it's the second option. He chuckles to himself. He's still not upset. What the hell is wrong with him? "Come on, Y/N. You gotta be quicker than that." He's challenging you. How Saiyan like of him. You seem to always be able to find specks of Saiyan nature in the cheerful man. And those are the aspects you actually like about him.

Your eyes begin to once again feel heavy as your eyes droop shut, just before you fall asleep in the arms of your enemy.

Twenty-Something Years Ago:

You're sitting on your bed, sitting crisscrossed, a book laying open on your lap. Since your father is currently off-planet, you can read all you want. You're enamored with your newest book. It's all about a topic referred to as diplomacy. It's fascinating and has many concepts that are entirely foreign to you, yet at the same time, some of these ideas are also familiar.

As you read, your door slams open, but you pay the interruption almost no attention, not even bothering to look up from your book. Honestly, the unwelcome intrusion has you more angered than anything else. "God, Vegeta." You roll your eyes. "Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Something's not right. When Vegeta usually bursts into your room, he's automatically shouting at you.

Out of pure curiosity, you look up from your book. However, standing at your door, you don't find Vegeta. A boy with a very similar appearance but with a much smaller stature stands in your door frame. He's out of breath, desperately huffing for air. "Tarble?" You furrow your brows at your brother, launching off your bed to get closer to him. "What's wrong?" You have this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your twin has never behaved in such a manner before.

"Captain--- Captain Ginyu is here." Tarble is shaking, his eyes watering slightly.

You scowl ever so slightly. "But Ginyu's not scheduled to be on planet Vegeta any time soon."

"It's--- It's a surprise visit. What do we do, Y/N?"

You contemplate for a moment before your features fill with alarm. "Tarble? Where's Vegeta?"

His lip quivers as he looks down at the floor. "He's with Captain Ginyu."

"Damn it." You mutter under your breath. Diplomacy is a skill you need right now. And Vegeta doesn't have a single quality that a diplomat possesses. Your elder brother is more likely to unnecessarily provoke the Captain, putting your entire race in hot water with the Frieza Force.

You rush over to your bedside table, rummaging through the drawer. Once you have your scouter in your hand, you run back over to your brother. "Stay in here, and use this to channel our father. Let him know what's going on." You push past your twin, about to leave, before Tarble's voice calls out to you.

"Wait, Y/N!" You turn back to look at him. "Where are you going?"

"I have to go stop our older brother from doing something stupid. Everything will be fine, I promise. Just calm down and do as I said." And with that, you take off, praying that Vegeta hasn't already done something rash.

As you sprint down the halls of the palace, you run face-first into the torso of a large body. "Princess?"

You look up at the bald Saiyan, the one who's supposed to be at your brother's side at all times. Since the future king of planet Vegeta needs to be protected. "Nappa, Where is my brother?"

The imbecile scratches the back of his neck, contemplating much longer for your liking. "I'm not sure. I haven't seen the runt in quite some time. You should probably ask Vegeta."

You scowl at the Saiyan. "Not Tarble, you fool! I'm asking you where Vegeta is!"

"Oh, Why didn't you just say so?" It's taking every ounce of restraint you have in your body to not viciously attack Nappa. "He's just outside of the palace."

You run through Nappa, intentionally knocking the large Saiayn onto the floor. His stupidity lost you precious time. It was quite an amusing sight, though. A mere child, being able to take down one of your father's best warriors.

You arrive outside of the palace, your eyes landing on your target. This is the first time you've ever seen Captain Ginyu. Sure, you've heard stories of the purple man. And much like your people, Ginyu is just as bloodthirsty and just as ruthless. Much to your surprise, the Captain doesn't have an army behind him. This was just before the Ginyu Force had formed. All Ginyu was at this point in time was a captain of one of Frieza's many armies.

You walk over to them, now standing at your brother's side. "Captain Ginyu." You speak with your hands, an exaggerated smile appearing on your lips. "To what do we owe the honor?"

The man looks down at you, clearly analyzing you with his scouter. "Well, if this isn't a surprise. I think this is the first time I've had the pleasure of meeting you, Y/N." Ginyu extends his large hand out to you, causing Vegeta to feel a great deal of alarm. Your brother's body has gone tense with an apprehensive look on his face. But when your older brother looks over to you, there isn't even a glint of fear in your eyes. You're calm, almost as if one of Lord Frieza's deadliest warriors was not standing before you. You accept the Captain's hand, presenting him with a short but polite handshake. "Your father doesn't like showing you off much, does he?"

You chuckle softly. "My father likes to hold his cards close to his chest. I'm sure a man like yourself is quite similar." Sucking up to Ginyu is not your favorite pastime, but it needs to be done. And every Saiyan on this planet knows your big brother is far too prideful to do it himself.

Ginyu looks between you and Vegeta carefully. For someone so highly regarded by Frieza, he sure isn't subtle. He's trying to read your facial expressions. Unfortunately for him, your father has raised you both much better than that. A poker face to you feels more natural than a genuine expression. "Speaking of your father, where is he right now?"

"He's of---"

You quickly cut Vegeta off. "He's in a meeting. That's why our father sent me out. He wanted you to know he sends his regards, but his hands are tied at the moment. He will be here at soon as possible. I hope my brother and I can suffice your needs in the meantime."

Captain Ginyu eyes you skeptically, tilting his head at you ever so slightly. "That sounds serious. I hope it's nothing too pressing."

"Of course not. It's nothing my father can't handle."

You're about to continue your schmoozing, but you're stopped by Vegeta aggressively yanking on your arm. "We need to talk-- in private."

You grimace at your brother's words. He just always has to make everything that much more difficult for you. You turn back to Ginyu, offering the man a cheerful smile. "Will you excuse us for a moment? We'll be right back."

Vegeta drags you around a corner, concealing you both from Ginyu's prying eyes. "What do you think you're doing?" He huffs at you in a whisper. "I had everything under control."

You snicker, crossing your arms. "You were just about to tell Ginyu that our father was off-planet. It sounds to me like I got here just in time to prevent you from making a grave mistake."

"I don't see why that matters."

"And that's the issue, Vegeta. Now we don't have time for this. Let's go." You turn back around, walking back over to Ginyu, Vegeta trailing not far behind. "I'd like to apologize for my brother's rudeness, Captain Ginyu." You shake your head but with a slight smirk across your lips. "All Saiyan men are the same, and my brother is no exception. They're incredibly thickheaded and quite savage. I'm convinced they don't even realize what brutes they are." You watch your brother ball his hands up into fists from beside you. It fills you with an immense feeling of joy knowing you're getting under Vegeta's skin for once. You turn back to Ginyu, plastering that disingenuous grin on your face. "Now, how about we give you a tour of our wonderful planet?"

You and Vegeta have shown Ginyu around almost the entirety of your planet, and you must admit you're beginning to grow worried. Luckily you've managed to hold off any more questions about your father's whereabouts by charming him with various facts about planet Vegeta. But to be honest, you're not sure how much longer you can hold up this charade for. You've exhausted pretty much every idea that you've been able to come up with.

"Captain Ginyu!" Your father's brash voice invades your ears as you turn around to finally see the man you've been anxiously waiting for. You've never seen your father walk in such an urgent manner, and it's pretty funny watching your twin struggling to keep up with your father's pace.

Your father places himself between you and Vegeta, ruffling your hair affectionately. You look up at him. "How'd your meeting go?"

Your father meets your gaze, catching onto your deception almost immediately. "It went very well. Thank you both for keeping Captain Ginyu company in my absence, but I think I can handle it from here." He directs his attention back onto Captain Ginyu. "Now, how about we discuss you're abrupt arrival somewhere more private."

The two men exit your field of view, leaving the three of you alone. Tarble, in his typical fashion, glues himself to your side. "What the hell was that?" Vegeta spits out with venom. "Where was your pride? You were basically groveling at his feet."

You furrow your brows at him. "I was doing what needed to be done. And if you think our father isn't currently doing the same thing, you're a bigger fool than I thought."

"I know our father is being more agreeable with him, but not at the cost of his pride."

"It's always about pride with you." You step closer to Vegeta, closing the distance between you. "Your pride today would have cost the loss of countless lives today, Vegeta."

"Then so be it. If there are Saiayn's that inadequate on our planet, we should probably just exterminate them now. It'll save us the hassle later on."

You snicker, shaking your head at Vegeta. "Some King you'll be." You turn to your twin. "Let's go, Tarble. I have no desire to be near our foolish brother right now."

The conversation between Captain Ginyu and your father was brief. It was a very anticlimactic ending to the naked eye. The briefness of this encounter only set off more alarm bells in King Vegeta's head. It was clear to the man that Ginyu's excuse for being on his planet was bullshit. He's just not quite sure what the captain's intentions were, but he sure as hell is going to find out.

As soon as Ginyu left planet Vegeta, he promptly set course for his next destination. He's headed straight to Lord Frieza to report his findings, and he's eager to do so.

Ginyu arrives on the planet in record time, heading straight for the throne room. Ginyu kneels before Frieza, waiting for his boss to speak. "Captain Ginyu. You're sure back early. I trust you were able to gather enough information on the young prince."

Captain Ginyu nods enthusiastically. "Of course, Lord Frieza. The Price was exactly the same as the previous data we collected on him. He's powerful and quite intelligent for a Saiyan. Though, he did inherit that nasty temper from his father."

Frieza sighs. "How disappointing."

"But I did discover something that you may find interesting, Lord Frieza."

Frieza tilts his head at the man. He can't help but feel intrigued. "Go on." It's not that easy for him to find an advantage over those monkeys, so he'll take any information Ginyu can give him, no matter how minuscule.

"Y/N--- King Vegeta's daughter piqued my interest greatly. She's not even close to as strong as her brother, but she's remarkably clever. She's very good with words, she knows how to manipulate people. I'd say she might even be better than King Vegeta himself."

"Now, that is fascinating. Good work, Ginyu. I'll look into the Princess's abilities more in-depth later. You're excused."

This is just something I felt the need to clarify: So in this chapter's flashback, Vegeta is around three, and Y/N and Tarble are about two. In my head, I picture children on planet Vegeta behaving like miniature adults. My idea is once they leave their chambers (the tanks they are raised in to get their basic Saiyan instincts under control), their minds are fully grown, but their physical growth is quite delayed. That's why they curse and stuff. I have a minuscule window of time to squash in all of my plot ideas. So this was the best way to do so.

#goku #goku x reader #saiyan reader #vegeta #vegeta's sister #DBZ Fanfiction #dbz x reader #dragon ball x reader #dragon ball z #the princess of all saiyans

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modgirlyreposts-revamped · 3 years

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Millie headcanons!!

- I see her as having more of a gothic lolita/almost Victorian gothic style tbh? Basically she dresses like Lydia Deetz in Beetlejuice. However I love throwing in more mall goth aspects too. Fancy black dress, messy looking makeup, demonia boots, Victorian mourning jewellery, and spiked choker & bracelets kinda thing you get me?

- Bullied kid with comorbid probably undiagnosed ADHD and depression type beat

- I imagine ITP takes place in like, early or maybe mid 2010s. I've seen on this blog once or twice the idea of Millie being around the pizzaplex and i love that idea but I always saw her as like, a closer to classic Freddy Fazbear's kid.

- Her family is pretty well off. That's why she can actually afford to dress the way she does (yeah I'm jealous what of it)

- She likes horror a Lot. It's something of a hyperfixation of hers, but it leaves her grandpa quite concerned because My Granddaughter Has Been Holed Up In Her Room Watching Horror Movies All Day Is She Mentally Stable

- I know in canon she was only going to stay with her grandpa while her parents were away but I got the vibes that her grandpa basically helped raise her. (In my own weird au where millie and sarah like, band together with the other protags to investigate freddy fazbears and specifically the bite of 83 and shit she just full on lives with him lol)

- She's intimidating as Fuck when she gets mad.

- Her hair is not naturally black (not sure what color it Is tho, maybe blonde??), but she dyes it (I also imagine she likes to throw in some purple streaks or a black to purple ombre sometimes)

- She has like 3 piercings on each ear. The second set no one knew she was getting until she came back home from going out to do so. She was banned from getting piercings as a punishment so the third one was also a secret no one in the family noticed for like months.

- She would love FNaF. I feel like she'd make "man behind the slaughter" jokes. Is that old? Me and my sister still do it.

- She is absolutely awful with kids, but they love her. She goes out to the park with a black umbrella to brood dramatically in the shade and from the playground she just hears "Millie!!" And then a small crowd of children runs up asking if she'll play with them. She always gives in and agrees to play in the end. She can never even remember their names or anything but they see the sad girl in all black and immediately know She's Friend. She would die for them.

- Oswald is her surrogate brother and ok now that I'm thinking abt millie in the pizzaplex era Gregory would be too 100%.

- She likes chocolate. She gives me the vibes of someone who just, chocolate everything. Her grandpa buys chocolate chips for baking and Millie eats them all.

- As a kid she cried a lot and didnt know how to/was too afraid to stand up for herself. She has a lot of repressed anger from those years and tends to dramatically overreact as a result (I'm not projecting what do you mean)

[TW for implied abuse for the next three]

- OK BOUNCING OFF THAT ONE HC THAT DYLAN HAS DID AS SOMEONE WHO MAYBE HAS IT MYSELF I LOVE THAT. I have an Idea for how it would've formed which is that his familial situation is Very Not Good. Anyways I think, he has probably abt 10 ish alters, Millie would get along with most of his alters. I think Dylan would have multiple persecutor alters which r alters who formed from trauma who harm the body or other alters to try and protect them. Millie actually gets along surprisingly well with one of them.

- On another note w/ Dylan tho Millie's grandpa meets Dylan, finds out just a little bit abt his family and basically tells him like "my home is your home, if you're not safe there, you're always welcome here" so <3 he likes to spend basically all his time at Millie's grandpa's house and he doesnt say it but he worries hes like is your home really that bad do I need to call CPS?

- Millie's parents come home at the end of the year and are like well what'd we miss? And her grandpa's like look at my new grandson Dylan :) Dylan come out and say hi!! And out comes a teenage boy with bright red hair, a bunch of piercings (also a scar on one ear), wearing spiky platform boots, spiked bracelets and choker like Millie's (but in white w/ black spikes) and patched black jeans, wiping Pop Tart crumbs off a My Chemical Romance shirt and he just looks up at them totally nonchalantly and goes "Heyo" and walks off and they're like MAURICE WHAT THE HELL?!? WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THIS KID?!?! JUVIE?!!?!??

- Millie's grandpa doesn't Know Dylan has DID 100%- Dylan hasn't told him and doesn't plan to- but he notices major changes in personality from time to time and catches Millie, Sarah or Brooke calling him different names occasionally. That plus his vague knowledge of what goes down at Dylan's house, he's sorta put the dots together on his own, but he hasn't said anything yet.

- Ok so like, I love the idea of Brooke having like a pastel/bubblegum-bitch aesthetic. One time Brooke dressed Millie up in a pastel goth style (and Dylan gave her a scene/emo style) and at the time she was like it's so BRIGHT it's so SOFT WHAT but shes been thinking about that ever since and occasionally while shopping she'll pick out a pair of cutesy/pastel earrings or a neon accented choker or something like that.

- Brooke introduces Millie and Dylan to Marina. Millie introduces Brooke to MCR (or something, idk, for as much of a goth as I am I mostly listen to Penelope Scott). Dylan introduces them both to FaLiLV (a Japanese band). Brooke does not like their taste in music.

- Millie's idea of calming down is laying on her bed and listening to screamo.

This took me an hour and a half I'm sorry

ADHAKFJHSJKJHKDSSJFD I LOVE THESE-

The one about Millie being terrible with children but them loving her anyway, is so accurate to my Millie as well. She can take care of a child about as well as she can take care of herself (not much at all-), but her cousins absolutely love when she babysits them, and Gregory looks up to her as a role model (Millie's just like "thanks, but reconsider!" lol)

And the one with Millie's grandpa practically adopting Dylan, I swear ur trying to kill me with wholesomeness, I love them sm. In my AU if Dylan was having issues with his family and Millie's grandpa found out, he'd just calmly stand up and walk into the garage, coming back with a baseball bat. He'd calmly tell Millie and the others that he's just going to have a "talk" with Dylan's parents, while Millie knowing damn well just what he means by that starts chasing after him telling him not to do this, Dylan not far behind.

Dylan's parents would just hear someone pounding on their door, and when they answer there's just an extremely tired and pissed off 60 something year old man on their doorstep, and two teens attempting to hold him back, all while Millie's grandpa is shouting a load of expletives at them.

The whole time Dylan is just panicking, and is all like "M-Mr. Fitzsimmons, you don't have to do this!", whereas Millie knows that her grandfather will not calm down until someone is at least hospitalized.

#asks #answered #spirits-in-the-wind

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