#please let me know if I’ve missed any quotes lmao

[insoukokuhell-434]

#soukoku #soukoku memes #dazai x chuuya #skk #skk memes #please let me know if I’ve missed any quotes lmao #does this even make sense lol #I’m on such little sleep ;-; #edit: made the text clearer cause it was driving me crazy #Sierra’s posts 🌸

[onceuponastory]

in the dark woods - steve kemp x reader

“I say ‘wolf’, but there are various kinds of wolves. There are also those who are charming, quiet, polite, unassuming, complacent, and sweet, who pursue young women at home and in the streets. And unfortunately, it is these gentle wolves who are the most dangerous ones of all.” - Charles Perrault talking about his version of Little Red Riding Hood.

Plot: After falling and spraining her ankle whilst out running, Y/N accepts help from the handsome and charming doctor who comes to her rescue. She knows not to talk to strangers, especially those she meets in the dark woods, but come on...how scary can he possibly be?  Pairing: Steve Kemp x Female!Reader Warnings: 18+ Only please. This is a dark fic. Mentions of: death, graphic injuries, blood, violence, vomit, drugging/drink spiking, stalking and kidnapping. Basically, everything Steve does to people in Fresh. Also, Steve Kemp, because he’s a warning all on his own. As always, if I miss any triggers let me know. Notes: My fairytale inspired fics continue! This one is VERY loosely based on the fairytale Little Red Riding Hood, and the quote above if you couldn’t already tell, lmao. It’s not a full retelling, but I hope you all recognise the little references to the original I’ve kept in. 

Again, credit to my best friend @thesundrop​/staticscreenwriting for my dividers!

Y/N runs through the forest, her feet pounding the ground and her heart pumping. She glances around as she runs, seeing nothing but dense woodland surrounding her. Aside from the sound of her footsteps and the chirping of a few birds, she’s surrounded by silence. Y/N smiles. The silence is why she always goes for her runs in the woods…it’s so isolated. She can just put her headphones in and run, without worrying about creepy or judgemental men in the gym or in more populated streets. Just her, the trees and the birds.

Naturally, her friends were quite freaked out and concerned for her when she explained her desire to run in the woods alone. Of course, Y/N understands their worry. The world is full of dangerous people…but she’s been running in these woods for months now, and she swears she knows them like the back of her hand. And after all, it is always just her out there running…at least, as far as she knows. Nevertheless, she always promises her friends that she’ll be careful and that she’ll still continue to run the same route as always, sticking to the paths as much as she can. Even though she still thinks they’re overreacting and she’s not in any real danger.

Y/N continues to run until her body and legs become too tired to continue. Taking a break against an oak tree, she drinks some of her water and eats some of the snacks she brought to give herself some more energy. As she finishes up, she looks down the rest of the path. A few metres away, it splits into two. Y/N always goes the left way…but a part of her has always been intrigued by the other way, wondering what it’s like, and what secrets it hides. It looks like not many people go that way, and it seems more overgrown than her usual route. In some strange way, though, that only makes it even more appealing to her. She knows she told her friends she’d stick to her regular routes…but what they don’t know won’t hurt them. And besides, she does know this place like the back of her hand. She’ll be back on her regular path soon enough. If all goes well, she’ll have a new running route. And if it doesn’t...at least her curiosity will be satisfied.

Plugging her headphones back in, Y/N takes the right path. As she gets further and further along it, the skyline around her begins to darken as the tree cover gradually becomes denser. Plant leaves brush against her legs, and they feel so like the touch of a human that she has to check to make sure nobody is actually grabbing at her. A chill wind blows, making her shiver slightly, so she pulls her red hoodie around her in the hopes it makes her feel warmer. She’s starting to understand why people don’t seem to go this way. It’s alright though. She’ll keep going for a while longer and turn back soon. 

Suddenly, Y/N hears a twig snapping behind her, making her jump and turn around quickly, fear rising through her body. Is someone or something there with her? Glancing around, she tries to find the source of the noise, panting as her heart rate increases. She doesn’t know whether it’s due to the exercise or her fear. “Hello?” She calls out. “Is somebody there?” When nobody responds, she takes a breath, chuckling lightly to herself. Of course, there’s nobody there. She’s just being stupid. However, she still makes sure to check that there’s nobody there one last time before she sets off again…just in case. 

Y/N runs some more, trying to keep her worries about someone or something watching her out of her mind. She soon approaches a sharp bend, a slight incline next to it. And then, suddenly, another noise from the trees makes her stop once again. Gasping, Y/N begins to back up, her head constantly looking around her again, trying to figure out where the noises are coming from and who or what is making it. Whatever it is...it doesn’t seem like it’s from an animal. Suddenly though, her foot slips, and before she can grab a branch or something to balance herself, Y/N falls, rolling down the incline. Once she comes to a stop, she groans. Of course this had to happen to her. She tries to get up, however a searing pain in her left ankle stops her. “Shit.” She hisses. Even moving it an inch is enough to cause pain to shoot up her leg. Y/N turns her head, looking back up at where she fell from. The incline looks even steeper than she initially thought. Even without her dodgy ankle, there’s no way she can make it back up there.

Pulling out her phone, she tries to dial for help, cursing even louder once she notices that she has no signal. Tears spring in her eyes, and she soon begins to sob. Now what the hell is she supposed to do? She doesn’t want to spend all night stuck on a cold and dark forest floor. What if nobody ever finds her? Sitting up, grimacing as she tries not to move her foot too much, Y/N shouts for help, shouting so loudly she swears that her voice will be strained after this. After her first few calls, nobody comes, and Y/N sniffles, resigning herself to the fact that she’ll either have to stay here the whole night or hop and limp all the way home, trying somehow to make it through the pain.

However, before she tries to pull herself up once more, a voice sounds from beside her suddenly: “Miss, are you alright?” Y/N jumps slightly as fear courses through her veins once more. Despite how kind the voice sounds, and its concern for her, the fact it appeared out of nowhere still scares her. “It’s alright. I’m a doctor.” Someone soon kneels beside her, presumably the person the voice belongs to. Y/N looks over at the face studying her. And as soon as she does, she gasps slightly. This man is gorgeous. Y/N gulps, lightly biting her lip as his blue eyes look over her. “Are you hurt?” He asks. Y/N’s cheeks flush, hoping her staring wasn’t too noticeable.

“Oh, um-just my left ankle. I think it’s twisted.” The man nods and moves over to it, untying her shoe and taking her sock off. 

“This will probably hurt. I’m sorry, I’ll try my best to be gentle.” Y/N nods, and the man rolls up her leggings, peering down at her ankle. For a second, she swears she can see a strange look cross his face as he stares down at her skin. His lips part and his blue eyes repeatedly scan every inch of her foot and ankle. Y/N doesn’t know what the look is or even what she finds so strange about it. It’s probably nothing, though. After all, he is a doctor, so this must just be how he looks whenever he diagnoses patients. He’s probably checking if a bone is poking through her skin or something. After all, he’s the one who offered to help her. How much harm could he do?

Suddenly though, the man moves her ankle, and she yelps out in pain, all confusion about the man’s look gone almost immediately. “Sorry.” The man mumbles. Y/N nods. It’s sore, but she knows it has to be done. The man tenderly runs a finger down her leg and ankle. “Does it hurt when I do this?” He asks. Y/N shakes her head. It feels good, actually. The touch of his skin against hers makes her shiver, but in a good way. 

“So, Doctor. What’s your diagnosis?” She asks. The man chuckles.

“It’s Steve. My name, I mean.… Well, obviously that’s what I’d mean. Maybe I should just stop talking. I’m sorry.” He sighs, and Y/N giggles. He’s definitely awkward, but it’s endearing in a way. How could she ever think this man might be dangerous?

“My name’s Y/N.” She replies. Steve grins.

“Y/N…what a nice name.” He whispers. Y/N’s cheeks flush again. Despite how awkward he is, he’s definitely a charmer. “Well, Y/N, I’m sorry, but I think you’ve sprained your ankle, and you’ll need to go to the hospital to get it checked over.” Y/N nods, sighing slightly. “Do you have a car?” Steve asks. Y/N shakes her head.

“Nope, I ran here.” Steve nods, standing up. “It’s okay. If you know the way out, I’ll guess I’ll hop alongside you, and- oh!” She gasps as Steve scoops her up into his arms, and she finds herself suddenly laying against his chest as Steve begins to walk back. 

“Don’t worry. I drove here, so I can take you. And I don’t want you hurting yourself even more, so no walking.” He orders. Y/N nods, leaning closer against Steve’s chest as his grip on her tightens. Although he’s clearly sweaty from his run, he still smells amazing. Y/N sighs happily. Being rescued by a hot doctor is not how she thought this run would end, but she’s not complaining. Her eyes flicker up, tracing along Steve’s sharp jawline. Her breath hitches in her throat. God, this man is attractive. Maybe she can see him again after this?

Soon, the pair reach Steve’s car, and he buckles her into a seat without another word. “There we go.” He smiles down at her. Y/N’s heart rate rises as she feels Steve’s hot breath on her cheeks. As Steve crosses over to the driver’s side and gets in, Y/N looks around. The car is fancy, with leather seats and all the gadgets she can imagine. This car probably costs more than her yearly rent. Then again, given that Steve is a doctor, she can’t be too surprised that he has money - especially more of it than she does. The pair of them definitely don’t fit together, despite how much she’d like them to. Steve looks over at her once more, checking she’s okay with a smile before he begins driving. And even so…it’s nice to spend some time with him, aside from the pain in her ankle. 

“So, you said you’re a doctor. Are we going to the hospital you work in?” She asks. Steve chuckles, shaking his head.

“No. I’m a plastic surgeon actually, and I tend to work in…my own private practice.” He answers. “Maybe one day, I’ll let you see it.”

“Well, it turns out your original suspicion was right. You’ve sprained your ankle. Thankfully, it’s not too severe a sprain, and it should heal up soon, as long as you get plenty of rest, take your meds, and keep your foot bandaged and elevated.” The doctor explains. Y/N nods along but isn’t really paying attention. Instead, her mind drifts back to Steve. The dashing doctor who saved her, carried her back to his car and drove her to the hospital. She definitely needs to find a way to thank him. The doctor finishes up soon, and Y/N hobbles out of the room on her crutches to where Steve is waiting for her in the waiting room. He didn’t want to come into the room with her for some reason. Then again, though, that’s not too weird. He probably thought there might be too many doctors in the room.

“Hey!” He smiles, getting up as soon as he sees her and greeting her with a smile. He helps her back out and into the car before beginning the drive back to Y/N’s house. As he drives, Y/N watches him, trying to think of a way to ask Steve if he wants to go out with her sometime. The only thing is, she has no idea how to. In all honesty, she’s still a little intimidated by him and how attractive he is. Soon, Steve pulls up outside her apartment building and helps her inside. Once they are both in her apartment, Y/N sighs. It’s now or never. “You okay?” Steve asks, looking back over at her. Noticing the way she’s staring at him, he chuckles.

“Um….” She begins. “It was really nice to meet you today, Steve. And well, thanks for saving me and everything.”

“No need to thank me. I’m a doctor, after all. And helping someone as beautiful as you? It was my pleasure.” She swears her cheeks are probably scarlet by this point. Smiling, Steve reaches over and takes her hand. Y/N starts to feel a weird feeling in her stomach. The kind that feels like butterflies. She swears that Steve will be the death of her one day. “You think you’ll be okay from here?” Steve asks, and she nods. Y/N gulps. It’s time to say something.

“Steve, can I see you again?” She asks suddenly. “I know you said there’s no need to thank you, but I really am grateful. Thanks to you, I’m not still stuck on a floor in the middle of the woods in the cold.”

“Well, we couldn’t have that.” Steve agrees, chuckling.

“I’d really love to say thank you properly. Would you like to maybe get some coffee or dinner together? My treat.” 

“I’d like that.” Steve smiles, writing down his number on a sheet of paper. “Call me when you get the chance, and we can work something out. Goodnight Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Steve.” And then, he’s gone. 

A few days later, Y/N is watching TV when a knock at the door interrupts her. After hopping to the door, she opens it to find a giant bouquet in her face. “Are you sure this is for me?” She frowns. She doesn’t usually get gifts like this. Well, she never does. If it is for her, this is a nice change.

“Well, it has your address on the card.” The delivery man responds with a shrug, passing over the bouquet. “Someone must like you enough to get you one of these.” Once he’s gone, Y/N places the bouquet on the table. It’s even bigger than she expected, and full of beautiful and expensive looking flowers. She picks up the card attached to it…although she has a funny feeling that she knows who it’s from.

“To Y/N. The most beautiful patient I’ve ever had. I hope you’re healing well. Dinner with you sounds lovely. How about that nice little Italian restaurant down your street this Friday at 7pm? Let me know if that works. Best wishes, Steve xx.” After reading the card, Y/N squeals with happiness. She’s going on a date with a doctor. And a fucking gorgeous one at that. Who knows what could happen? Hopefully, something good. There are surely worse things in life than dating a doctor.

“So, tell me more about you.” Steve orders. “I feel like you know enough about me. What is it you do?” 

“Well, I’m a writer. I haven’t published anything yet, but I’m working on it.” Y/N explains, and Steve nods along. “Other than that, not much. I don’t think I’m that exciting, to be honest. At least, not like you. I’m just a girl with no parents who writes stories from time to time.” Steve raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Y/N. I happen to think you’re very interesting.” He grins, sipping on his wine. Y/N’s cheeks flush once more. God, this man really is a charmer. And this date is going perfectly. In fact, she and Steve seem to be getting along even better than before, so much so that Y/N can’t stop grinning. She finally met a good guy who actually likes her, and things seem to be working out between them. Steve even laughs at her weird jokes, which automatically makes him a winner in her eyes…even if she thought he was a winner the first time they met. After the dinner is over, Y/N reaches for her credit card to pay, but Steve beats her to it, placing his card into the hand of the waitress before she even has time to get it out. 

“Hey! I was meant to pay! This is my treat to thank you for helping me, remember?” Y/N argues. Steve smirks. 

“Oh well. That just means I have an excuse to see you again. You can pay then.” He grins. Y/N sighs happily. He’s already talking about the next time before she even mentioned another date? This man is perfect. 

“Is there anything else you’d like to do?” Y/N asks once the meal has been paid for and the pair are outside. Steve smiles, his blue eyes pointedly tracing over her body.

“Hmm…I can think of a few things I’d like to do with you.” She feels her cheeks flush once more at his words. “Unfortunately, though, I have surgery tomorrow, so I’ll have to take a rain check. Is that okay?” Y/N nods vigorously. Of course it’s okay. He’s a hot doctor who wants to date her. She’ll make time for him. “Thank you. You’re a star.” Without another word, Steve leans in and presses a kiss to her lips. Y/N whimpers happily. He even kisses perfectly. She moves closer, kissing him even deeper and wrapping her arms around him. She swears she could stay like this forever…and for a moment, it feels like it does last forever.

“…Wow.” She breathes when the pair finally pull apart. “That was….”

“I know.” Steve chuckles. “But I really do have to go, I’m afraid.” Y/N sighs sadly. Steve leans in, gently kissing her lips once more and making her moan happily. “Don’t worry. This isn’t a proper goodbye. We’ll see each other again.”

“Promise?” Steve grins.

“Promise. I’ll give you a call tomorrow, okay?“ He asks, gently running his thumb across her bottom lip, causing shivers to run throughout her entire body and making Steve chuckle. “You’re so cute when you shiver.” He whispers.

And then, he’s gone.

Thankfully, Steve keeps to his word and continues to take Y/N out on dates and look after her when she needs it. And as a result, Y/N finds herself falling even more in love with Steve as a result. One night, a few weeks after their first date, the pair are over at Y/N’s apartment hanging out.

“I’m gonna grab a drink. Need anything?” Steve asks, gently patting her knee as he gets up. 

“Yeah, can you get me a drink too, please? Oh, and my pills too. This ankle is healing pretty well, but it still fucking hurts.” She chuckles. Steve smiles and nods. 

When he returns, he hands her a glass of water and two painkillers. Y/N takes each of her pills with a gulp of water. However, something seems off, and she frowns.

“You alright?” Steve asks.

“Yeah…this water tastes weird. Maybe it’s just having it with my pills. Even so, it’s never tasted this…bitter before.” She frowns, taking another few drinks in the hope of washing away the bitter taste. Suddenly, her head begins to fog, and the room starts to spin. “Steve….” She mumbles. Steve moves closer, leaning in close. She trails off, suddenly confronted by an overwhelming urge to go to sleep. Y/N knows this feeling isn’t right, but she’s too tired and confused to fight it. “What…what’s happening to me?” 

“It’s okay, darling.” He whispers. “Just go to sleep. I’ll take care of you.”

And those are the last words Y/N hears before her body slumps forward into Steve’s arms, and it all fades to black.

Groaning, Y/N slowly begins to wake up. There’s a pounding in her head, and her entire body is cold and achy. Puzzled, she tries to piece together what happened, her mind working through what she remembers. All she can remember is having a drink with Steve, and then…nothing. Maybe she had too much to drink? But then again, it was just water, right? How could that make her pass out? As her brain runs through each potential scenario, a voice speaks. A voice she recognises immediately. “Y/N…You’re finally awake.” Steve says. Moaning, Y/N turns over, manoeuvring her body so she can find where Steve’s voice is coming from. He’s sitting a few feet away from her, staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Steve…what happened to me?” She asks, her voice hoarse. She tries to sit up, but Steve’s voice stops her.

“No, no, my darling. I wouldn’t strain yourself too much. You’ve been out for a while. I guess I need to recheck my dosage amounts.” Y/N frowns. Even though her brain is still foggy, she’s starting to understand Steve’s words. Her dosage is what caused her to blackout? But…it was just her ankle that was the problem, and she sprained that ages ago. It should be almost healed by now. And as far as she knows, Steve only gave her a few mild pain relief medicines. Surely they can’t have caused her to blackout? Y/N sits up further, and the pain in her head only amplifies. 

Groaning, Y/N tries to raise her hand to check her head for any wounds…but to her surprise, she can’t move her hand too far. Glancing beside her, she realises that her wrists are chained to the wall. Frowning, she pulls at the chains a few times, foolishly expecting them to fall off with a little bit of pressure. Y/N’s confusion and fear grow when they don't, and she looks up at Steve again. Steve’s staring at her, a dark smile growing on his face. “Steve, w-what’s going on? Why did you do this? Did I try to run away from surgery or something?” She jokes, laughing awkwardly. Because this has to be a joke. There’s no other reason why her boyfriend would chain her to a wall. Of course, she knows there are reasons why that might happen and that they are much darker than the explanation Y/N is thinking of…but Steve isn’t like that. Surely not. He’s not a monster. He’s the same guy who carried her to his car so she could get medical attention and who mailed her flowers to make sure she was okay. 

People who do things like that don’t turn around and do stuff like this. It doesn’t make any sense.

It’s then that Y/N realises that Steve hasn’t said anything else to her. He’s just sitting there…staring at her in silence, the same grin still on his face. And it’s starting to freak her out. “Steve.” She repeats, her voice shaky despite how strong she tries to sound. “Why the fuck am I chained to the wall?” Still, Steve says nothing. He just continues to stare at her creepily. “Steve!” Y/N shouts, hoping her yell breaks him out of whatever the fuck kind of daze he’s in. 

Finally, Steve breaks the silence. Not with words at first, but with a laugh. A laugh that only serves to make Y/N more confused as her fear grows. “I’m going to tell you, but you’re going to freak out…and you’ll probably say no to another date with me. Not that you’ll be able to go on one, though.” He points out, gesturing to her chained arms. Steve comes closer, the grin still on his face. “Ever since I was younger, I’ve had a certain…hunger. One I was never able to act on, but was always curious about. And now, I finally get to do it….” He trails off, his blue eyes scanning her body. “All thanks to you.” Y/N raises a brow, trying to understand what kind of hunger he means. Her mind goes through all sorts of scenarios, and her heart rate rises as the potential outcomes begin to dawn. Either way, it doesn’t look good for her. Oh god, what if she’s stuck here forever? 

“I’ve been watching you for a long time, actually.” Steve explains. “You always looked so beautiful when you ran, especially in your red hoodie. And your ass in those leggings. Perfect.” He grins, blowing her a kiss. Y/N’s eyes widen in fear. This whole time, he’s been watching her, and she had no idea? Her mind goes back to the day she met Steve, and the weird noises she heard from deep in the trees. Were those being made by Steve? “I always wanted to say something, but I was too scared. And then you fell…and it was perfect. It was like you fell right into my lap. And you trusted me right away!” He exclaims, laughing. “But then again, it was probably because of the whole doctor thing, right?” 

Y/N lets out a shaky breath. She’s stuck here with a fucking maniac. A maniac she trusted…and one she loved. She lets out a sob. Oh god, she’s going to die. Why didn’t she listen to the warnings? Why did she trust him? She looks over at Steve, at the face that she still finds handsome even now, even considering what he’s done to her. And of course, he’s right. He’s a doctor, and he came to save her. Why wouldn’t she trust him?

“Steve, where am I?” She asks.

“In my house, in the woods.” He replies. “In the woods, where our story began…remember that sweetheart? And where you’ll stay forever.” Y/N whimpers, her body shivering as big tears begin to roll down her cheeks. “Oh I was right, you are cute when you shiver.” Steve grins.

“What are you going to do to me?” She asks warily.

“Don’t worry, I won’t kill you…not right away, anyway. They told me that they like it as fresh as possible.” Y/N frowns, raising an eyebrow. Who the hell is ‘they’? Steve scoffs, as if she’s stupid for not knowing what he’s talking about. “Your meat! I can’t sell it if you’re too uncomfortable.”

“My meat? What are you....” Y/N begins, thinking it over for a second before it hits her. Oh fuck. “Are you a cannibal, Steve?” Her stomach churns.

“Yes, I am. What a smart girl you are!” Steve praises. “I know this is scary and weird, but don’t worry. We’ll work through it together.” Y/N gasps, knowing her body is going into panic mode. She desperately looks around the room, hyperventilating, trying desperately to find a way out. But there’s only a tiny door in the corner of the room, too far for her to reach with her wrists chained to the wall. Steve sighs. “Please stop freaking out.”

“What the fuck do you expect me to do, Steve?!” She gasps angrily, tears streaming down her face. “What the hell is wrong with you? You kidnap me and tell me that you’re going to cut me up and sell parts of me to people, and you expect me to be calm about it because you’re not going to kill me right away?!” She demands. Steve rolls his eyes, huffing.

“I understand your feelings, really, I do. However, there’s no need to be so dramatic. I already told you that I’ll take good care of you. You have to be comfortable to provide the best results.” His blue eyes trace down her body once more, and rather than the excitement she used to feel whenever Steve used to do that, now all Y/N can feel is fear. Again, her mind goes back to when she and Steve first met. She remembers the weird look he had when he checked her leg and ankle for injuries. One sole thought enters her mind. 

Was he sizing her and her flesh up for a meal back then? Y/N’s stomach churns even more, so much that she feels like she’s about to puke. But at the same time, her blood burns, both with fury and a desire to survive. And that feeling only intensifies as she sees Steve smirking at her. 

Y/N jumps up and charges at Steve in a last-ditch attempt to save herself. “You asshole! Let me go!” She screams. However, Steve just moves back, sighing disappointedly. 

“You can scream and beg all you’d like, but it’s not going to work. This room is soundproofed.” Steve informs her. “And before I was so rudely interrupted….” He glares, striking another pang of fear through her heart. “I was going to say that if you play nice and don’t act up, I’d be nicer. However….” He sucks his teeth, tutting. “This behaviour isn’t going to work. Because if you misbehave, I’ll be forced to punish you.” Steve starts to come closer to her. Y/N tries to back up, but he’s far quicker than her, and soon he’s reaching his arms out to grab her. 

“No! You stay the FUCK away from me!” Y/N screams, trying to kick out at him. Unfortunately, she tries to kick him with her injured leg, so she doesn’t strike him as hard as she possibly could. 

“Y/N.” Steve says threateningly. “Stop fighting me. I mean it.” Y/N doesn’t answer, continuing to try and kick him. Sighing, Steve suddenly grabs her ankle. Y/N tries to squirm out of his grasp, even trying to kick him in the face a few times, but he’s holding her too tightly. 

“I told you, Y/N.” He warns, his voice eerily calm as he steadily increases his grasp on her ankle.  Y/N winces as the pain increases. “If you misbehave, I’ll be forced to punish you.” His grip tightens even more, and Y/N begins to yelp and cry in pain. She looks over at Steve. The man who treated her with so much care and love when they first met seems gone forever. Or maybe he never existed at all.

“Steve…I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry.” She whimpers through her tears, hoping it works and that he lets go. Steve raises a brow. 

“Are you sure?” He asks, and she nods vigorously, hoping he lets go of her. “Say it. Tell me you won’t misbehave or try to kick me again.”

“I won’t misbehave.” She replies, her voice shaky.

“Promise?”

“P-Promise.” She repeats, nodding again in the hopes it adds extra believability.

“Good! See, now was that so hard?” Steve asks, and she shakes her head. However, he still doesn’t let go of her ankle. Y/N takes a deep, shuddery breath, wondering why he still isn’t letting go. “Unfortunately, Y/N, the thing is that…I don’t know if I believe you.” Her blood runs cold.

“No, Steve. I swear to you, I’m not going to do anything else.” She gasps. “Steve, I’m sorry…I really am. Just please let go of my leg.” Her words come out quickly and shaky. Steve raises a brow, studying her intently. 

“You remember I’m a doctor, right? That means I know exactly how to hurt you, and let me tell you, I have no qualms about breaking your leg or any other part of you. Do you understand?” Y/N shivers again but nods regardless. She can feel Steve’s grasp on her beginning to loosen, and she lets out the shaky breath she was holding. “And besides, if the meat is damaged, that makes it less valuable.” Y/N continues to nod her head in agreement, despite how sickening it feels to have her and her body described as nothing more than a food source, and one that might lose its value if it’s damaged...she knows that she has no other choice other than to play along and agree with Steve.

As his grip continues to loosen, Y/N feels slightly better. “T-Thank you, Steve.” She breathes. Maybe she’ll finally be okay. At least, as okay as she can be. But suddenly, Steve grasps her ankle once more, this time even tighter. Y/N yelps, swearing loudly.

“But then again, the ankle and feet were never my favourite parts.” He shrugs, suddenly twisting her ankle even more, so strongly she swears she hears a click. Or maybe it was more of a snap. Y/N screams and howls in pain, trying to wrench out of Steve’s grasp, straining with all her might despite the growing pain in her leg. She slips, crashing to the ground. Immediately, she begins trying to crawl away…but Steve gets to her first. He wraps his arms around her tightly as her body shakes, and as she whimpers and cries. “I don’t like this any more than you do, sweetheart.” He sighs. “No more acting up, okay?” He whispers. Despite the softness in his voice, Y/N can still sense the threatening tone underlying it, so she nods.

“Yes, Steve. Promise.” She repeats, her voice hoarse from crying. 

“Good girl.” Steve responds, pressing a kiss to her cheek despite her attempts to wriggle out of his grasp. “We’re going to have so much fun together.”

TAGLIST: @buckysboobs, @candlelight-letters, @mrs-mischief-209​, @late-to-the-party-81​

#steve kemp x reader #steve kemp #steve kemp fanfiction #fresh spoilers #freshspoilers #fresh the movie #fresh sebastian stan #fresh fanfiction #brendan steven kemp #brendan steven kemp x reader #brendan steven kemp fanfiction

[iheartbookbran]

Ok so actually my biggest problem with the whole “Daenerys will burn KL” theory—not even the Mad Queen Dany theory, which is of course very sexist for obvious reasons, but just like, the idea that Dany will ~accidentally~ ignite the wildfire in the city, burning it all to the ground. That, at first, doesn’t sound that bad, but the longer I think about it the more I hate it because tbh it doesn’t do anything for her character? And also… that fate for her is just down right cruel.

Like, the most frequent argument I see on why this would be at all satisfactory for Dany’s arc is basically that it would be a sort of lesson for her about the dangers of unchecked power and the real threat the Dragons can pose on humans and that she shouldn’t use them to fight against other people. And that’s all well and good, excellent message… except that’s not something Dany’s ever really needed to learn? Not anymore that her fellow rulers, which I will touch on more detail later, but in general Dany has seen what the abuse of power can do. Starting with her conflicting feelings regarding Viserys and how she recognizes that even though he was her brother and she loved him, he also abused his power over her as her older brother, her only family and her king; she feels guilt about the atrocities Drogo committed to the lhazarene and tries to help them; she feels so much guilt about not handling things correctly in Astapor that she decides to throw away all her plans to go to Westeros and instead stays in Meereen.

And about not knowing the true danger that her dragons can pose? I mean, this is the same girl that literally agonizes across several of her ADWD chapters because Drogon killed a child, and then takes the extreme measure of caging Rhaegal and Viserion to prevent that from ever happening again. I think she’s at least a little bit aware that the dragons can be dangerous, thank you very much.

Ok so this got long...

Anyways, the only time Dany legit uses Drogon to harm someone and not just as bluff was at the house of the Undying, where she was being attacked, and in Astapor… and like, lmao, that asshole Kraznys mo Nakloz and the rest of his slaver buddies deserved it. Don’t at me. Also, Dany’s hardly the only one with a big magical and deadly beast at her disposal, why didn’t Robb had to go through some horrifying traumatic incident to learn he shouldn’t use Grey Wind in battle to tear his enemies’ throats. Bran will be learning about the dangers of abusing power, but that’s linked to his magic powers and an actual reprehensible thing he’s doing, not the use of his glorified prehistoric dog to kill, which he’s done, just like Robb. By all means let the narrative hold Dany accountable for her mistakes… but her actual mistakes and not shit she has no control over, because she doesn’t have much control over Drogon or the other dragons even though she’s trying to, and that’s very obvious in her last ADWD chapter where she’s delirious and Drogon could kill her at any moment, and she knows that.

The other big argument people make for Dany burning KL (even if it’s by accident!) is that it will teach her about the price of war, that someone as young as her shouldn’t be leading armies and conquering kingdoms, and that fighting for the Iron Throne is not a worthy cause, and I feel like that misses the actual point of her story by a mile. First of all because a) Dany is hardly the only teenage ruler in the story and b) this is a fantasy medieval story, a lot of the characters shouldn’t be doing the things they do, aaaand yet. Also speaking of other teenage rulers with far more power that they should have—Robb and Jon, being the biggest examples.

Granted, Robb and Jon aren’t exactly successful during their time as rulers, they’re literally betrayed and killed by their own men (even if Jon will technically come back for round 2 of bullshit he’s too tired for). But the moral of their stories is not that they lost because theirs was an unworthy cause and they were stupid kids wholly unprepared for their roles. And I actually partially agree! They are just kids, including Dany, and they shouldn’t be responsible for looking after so many others and going to battle, but their cause is still just and worthy, even with all the mistakes they make along the way. Robb didn’t loose because he was wrong in demanding justice for his family or trying to protect the riverlands from the Lannisters and their minions, he lost because Tywin Lannister was a giant coward who couldn’t take him out in a fair fight.

Likewise, it isn’t wrong of Jon to try to incorporate refugees from beyond the Wall into Westeros. He’s not too stupid and honorable to do politics like his father (how I hate when people insult Jon and Ned like that), and while he did some very obvious mistakes that inevitably ended in a coup and in him dying, this is more connected to his inability to let go of his ties with his family (mainly Arya or who he believes to be her), and in isolating himself from his friends and the people he could actually trust.

I’ve always thought that Dany and Jon share a parallel narrative within the story, so while Jon is struggling with that Dany is faced with similar problems. She cages her dragons, that to her represent the only family she has left, and she tries to compromise with the slavers, marry a man she doesn’t love, pretend she’s ok with reopening the fighting pit. While she tries her best to rule wisely in Meereen, it all comes at the cost of betraying herself and her beliefs, so it’s no surprise when it all crashes around her and she’s betrayed and nearly killed. Ironically, it is Drogon who comes to rescue her.

If they are monsters, so am I.—Daenerys II, ADWD.

This is hands down one of my favorite Dany quotes from the whole series, and I hate that it’s been given such a negative connotation in the fandom, when for me it represents Dany’s humanity and compassion at the fullest.

GRRM has a knack for humanizing the ‘monsters’ of his story, for showing the good in the outcasts and the ugly and the scary. He embraces their ‘otherness’ and makes them the heroes of his stories; Arya, Bran, Brienne, Dany, Tyrion, Jon, Theon and many others are all compared to monsters or beasts at one point or another in the books.

Dany sees herself in her dragons, literal monsters in every sense of the word. Later on she faces Drogon inside the pit, and in that moment you could say that she accepts that ‘monstrous’ part of her, and in doing so she’s saved from her fate of dying at the hands of the men who would crucify innocent children and gleefully profit off of the suffering of their fellow human beings while watching them fight each other to the death for their own amusement. Now tell me who’s the real monster in this situation.

But shortly before that happens, Dany is able to see the humanity in Tyrion, an outcast who has been branded as monstrous and unlovable due to his disability all his life, a man who has come to believe in his abusers’ rhetoric about him so strongly that he’s started to act cruel and detached. She saves his life. She sees value in his life when few others would, because she cares.

I’ve always find it funny that the “dragons plant no trees” is—another—example fans use to argue in favor of Dany’s descent into Darkness™ because the actual scene goes like this:

You are a queen, her bear said. In Westeros.

"It is such a long way," she complained. "I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl."

No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words.—Daenerys X, ADWD.

Now am I the only one who finds it at least a bit relevant that it’s freaking Jorah Mormont aka Jorah the Enslaver whom Dany’s subconscious, at her literal lowest moment, utilizes to represent this particular thought, which btw I’ve always interpreted as Dany’s own self-loathing manifesting in her, and this is something she’s actually always struggled with—the idea that she’s not enough and she’s failing. Because above all things, even Westeros or the Iron Throne, what Dany wants is peace, she wants to plant trees.

When Dany made her descent, Reznak and Skahaz dropped to their knees. "Your Worship shines so brightly, you will blind every man who dares to look upon you," said Reznak. […] This match will save our city, you will see."

"So we pray. I want to plant my olive trees and see them fruit." Does it matter that Hizdahr's kisses do not please me? Peace will please me. Am I a queen or just a woman?—Daenerys VII, ADWD.

But of course the world doesn’t work like that, and so long as there’s Jorahs and Tywins and Eurons out there, men who would take the freedom of humans and submit them to their will, Dany can’t have the luxury of peace, just like Jon can’t have the luxury of belonging and family so long as there’s people still beyond the Wall who need his protection.

And I think that’s fine. It’s fine that Dany failed, it will help her develop as a character and realize that there’s no room to compromise with slavers, the metaphorical monsters of the story who do far more harm than the other more literal ‘monsters’ of the story. So that when she has to face down Euron Greyjoy—who btw, there’s a high chance he will end up stealing one of Dany’s dragons via Victarion using Dragonbinder… y’know, as in enslaving one of her children and using said dragon to inflict god knows what horrors, yet not many people ever consider this for some reason?—she will know. When she has to face down the Others, the magical ice fairies with no regard for human life, she will know.

That’s why I believe that it would make absolutely no sense for Dany to have to go through such a tragic and traumatic experience like burning a whole city even by pure accident, over something that’s either never been a problem with her character or she’s well into her way of learning anyways, so it would just feel repetitive. As I have pointed out, she’s already reached one of the lowest moments of her arc. Not saying there will be no other blows for her, and probably the destruction of KL will be one of them, and knowing Dany she will feel responsibility over it no matter what, but that doesn’t mean she has to be the culprit, intentional or otherwise.

#yes i wrote this whole thing because i actually love the ‘if they are monsters so am i’ quote and i’m trying to push my agenda on others #jk i spend like half a minute in an anti dany blog and i was like. war #but i don’t regret it so #daenerys targaryen #stormborn #pro daenerys #asoiaf #asoiaf meta #a song of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls #meta #my meta

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi lovely 💖 I have a request for some reca for the community. I have no idea how to search for it but I have a burning need for fics involving John being a confident flirt or coming on to Sherlock and S being a blushing disaster. I know I’ve read some before (like the one where John is a wereslut lmao) but I can’t think of anymore. Anyone in the remaining hive mind got ideas? 💖💖💖 thank you for doing god’s work in these trying times and always being wonderful.

Hey Lovely!!

Ahhh I think the fics on my John Centric Fics / Sex God John masterpost might be good! 

Here’s some flirting fics, so thank you for the excuse to start a new list!! <3 Of course, if anyone has any suggestions, please add your own! <3

FLIRTING

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w., 3 Ch. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex/Hand Job/Frottage) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times

The Effect of Memory by testosterone_tea (E, 6,430 w., 1 Ch. || Praise Kink, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Smut, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Confused Sherlock) – John has temporary amnesia coming off of anaesthesia after an operation and not only does he not recognize Sherlock, he starts flirting with him! After John recovers, he doesn’t remember the incident at all. But Sherlock does. Confusion ensues.

To Quote Malcolm Tucker; or, Get The Fuck In or Fuck The Fuck Off by kim47 (T, 8,484 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous Sherlock, Flirting, Cockblocking) – Sherlock is cockblocker and a prick tease and John is not amused.

A Brand of Gold by aquabelacqua (M, 12,757 w., 1 Ch. || Mutual Pining, POV John, Phone Sex, Texting, Masturbation, Long Distance, Drunk Texting) – What am I doing? he wondered. The answer came back at once: Flirting. He let the vital, missing piece snap into place as surely and as cleanly as if it had always been there. He was flirting with Sherlock Holmes.

The shape of the world around us by Salambo06 (E, 15,058 w., 5 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting || Lumberjack John / Botanist Sherlock, Different First Meeting, John Has a Beard, Light Case Fic, Flirting, First Kiss / Time, Masturbation, Love at First Sight, Horny Sherlock, John’s Bum, Bottomlock, Tenderness, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Shy Sherlock, Sexual Fantasies) – Looking through the bush, Sherlock felt his heartbeat quicken as a man passed in front of him. Sherlock frowned, trying to get a closer look despite the bush. The man was wearing a red plaid shirt rolled up to his elbows, and Sherlock couldn't take his eyes off the man’s arms. Muscular, slightly tanned with golden hairs along his forearms. For some unknown reason, Sherlock found himself imagining them around his waist, holding him tightly. Closing his eyes for the briefest second, Sherlock shook his head. Opening his eyes and looking back to where the man stood only a moment prior, he found himself alone. Great, now his only chance to find his way back to town was gone. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

Second Chance by SilentAuror (E, 15,816 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Post-Divorce, Friends to Lovers, UST, Romance) – Now that John's divorce has gone through and the dust is settling, Sherlock thinks that he would very much like to see if there is any possibility of moving their friendship in another direction. The only thing is, he has no idea how to go about doing that...

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

Guilty Secrets by Ellipsical (E, 55,086 w., 16 Ch. || Post-TRF, Drumsticks, First Kiss/Time, Love Confession, Self-Sexual-Discovery, Anal, Rimming, Orgasm Denial, Butt Plugs, Cooking, Furniture Sex, Bath Sex, Rimming, Double Penetration, Prostate Massage, Anal Beads, Dancing, Romance, Tantric Edging, Internalized Homophobia, Case as Foreplay, Anal Beads, Tickling, Dancing, Dry Coming, Romance) – John has a prostate exam and discovers something surprising about himself. Experimentation follows. Sherlock wants to help. They're in love. You know the drill.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w., 15 Ch. || Notting Hill AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

31_Days_of_Porn_Challenge_2017 Series by distantstarlight (E, 96,540 w. across 31 stories || Prompt Ficlets, Assorted Kinks, PWP) – A collection in response to the 31 Days of Porn Challenge issued by AtlinMerrik! Thanks for doing that because this has been buttload of fun (that joke never gets old). All stories will be brief stand-alone one-shots.

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #flirting #my fic recs #captain-bumble

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte’s One More Wedding Event (full release)that should have just came out in Japanese Version. Could you translate it or summarize it, please? Thank you for your time.

I can't believe you want to give me this kind of power, but if you insist 😂💛

That being said, because my translation skills are rough at best, I'll be summarizing and selecting specific parts to discuss if I feel a need to quote directly.

If you don't want spoilers for Comte ES, run!

Y'all. Y'ALL. REEEEEEEEE I LOVE HIM. NOBODY LOOK AT ME I'VE BEEN CRYING ON AND OFF FOR DAYS

ANYWAY

So this particular event begins with MC bringing Comte a letter as he thanks her. One glance at the return address tells him that it's a pureblood gathering invitation, and upon opening it he's right. He shrugs it off and says he'll reply to it later, setting it aside.

MC, perceptive as ever, asks if he's declining the invitation. Comte explains the nature of the party and how only purebloods are allowed to end. Furthermore, the gathering takes place on their first wedding anniversary--and he would much prefer to spend the day with her.

Comte: “MC, any gorgeous evening party–no matter how beautiful–means nothing to me without my wife at my side. The place I belong is with you.”

MC: “Er…”

His gold eyes are steady and unwavering as he looks at me, and my heart skips a beat.

Comte: “Anywho I have no intention of attending this party, as it also overlaps with the date of our anniversary. Our first wedding anniversary is an important day, and I want to spend it with my beloved wife.”

Comte smiles winningly, all while staring straight at me.

MC, however, finds herself conflicted. Given how little she knows about purebloods, she wishes she could attend the party to better understand him and the community he's a part of. She admits this, to Comte's great surprise, but feels bad about it because she doesn't mean to ask something impossible of him. (One of the requirements of the party is that you have to be a pureblood vampire to be invited. ON WEDNESDAYS WE WEAR PINK) Comte clarifies that--because she's his wife--she's welcome to attend alongside him. He offers to take her with him if that's what she wants.

MC: “Are you really sure it’s okay for me to go, though?”

Comte: “Certainly. But I would never force you if you were uncomfortable, of course.”

MC: “No, I don’t hate the idea!”

Comte: “But I’d understand if being surrounded by purebloods would be rather nerve-wracking for you…And so many of them have a superiority complex a mile wide; they’re a prideful bunch. While it may not be all of us, there are enough that it might be stifling for you to be around them.”

Comte: “In light of all that, are you certain you still wish to go?”

[I know he’s just doing his best to prepare me for what I might face at a party like this--he doesn’t want me going in with the wrong idea. It’s very likely he had intended to decline the invitation to spare me the discomfort, and the burden of making a choice that would affect/limit him too. The concern in his features makes me melt.]

The part I love most about this scene is that this is just the beginning of so many attempts on his part to prepare her realistically, but also support her decision. As much as he wants to go with her he's never going to put her in the position of deciding for the both of them. He knows there's a great deal of pressure to face among such a forbidding/traditional society, and if she needs more time to prepare for that--he wants to give her the space to get used to something so unfamiliar. In truth, I don't see him ever asking her to go if she didn't want to--even if it stung to have that part of him rejected...

MC considers for a moment, but she's resolved to understand him and his people better. She explains as much, and Comte brightens at the confession.

MC: “I’m sorry if it’s a bit much to ask of you, but thank you…!”

Comte: “I should be the one thanking you, now I look forward to the gathering.”

MC: “You’re…looking forward to it?”

When I tilt my head quizzically, le Comte draws me close with a faint smile on his lips.

Comte: “I’m excited to introduce you as my wife.” (SCREAMS AND CRIES)

This gets INSANELY cute because he gathers her close to him and she just gets very bashful about it. She apologizes--saying she knows she should be more used to it given they've already been married a year now, but his response is so sweet: “Why apologize? I’ve always thought my wife is the cutest.”

They both think back to their wedding ceremony at the mention of how long they've been together, and MC's eyes find the flower pins she gifted him on top of his hourglass (which fking one he has like 300).

Some background for anyone unaware: when Comte and MC got married, MC gifted him these flower pins--they were flowers that were preserved (in metal I think? idk exactly how it works they just look metallic in his outfit art). She explains that they're an attempt to symbolize her love for him, in that she intends to remain unchanging in her feelings forever. I find it's also an apt metaphor for MC herself; it's not unlike her agreement to become a vampire to stay with him.

MC: “You’ve been taking good care of the flowers I gave you.”

Right next to the hourglass lie the preserved flowers I gave him. They gleam in the light with ease, clearly polished and looked after–not a speck of dust on them.

Comte: “With those you swore your love to me. Isn’t it only natural that I’d take good care of them?” (LISTEN COMTE YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THE REALITY OF THE MALE SPECIES QUIT PLAYIN)

After that scene there's a timeskip to the night of the party--and after everyone celebrates their anniversary in the mansion all day--they hop in a carriage. MC is a little lost in thought, preparing herself for what's to come. When he asks if she's nervous she fully admits to it, but with a caveat. She's nervous because she doesn't know what to expect and she's concerned about committing a social faux pas, but she's not afraid or anxious.

Before I came to this time I had absolutely no concept of what an elaborate dinner party looked like–and besides which, this time it’s going to be a room full of purebloods. I’m nervous, sure, because I’ve never done this before--but it’s not quite anxiety or fear.

MC: “As long as you’re beside me, I’m invincible–anytime, anywhere.”

I can navigate anything: unfamiliar social circles, even an entirely new era of time. Because Comte is always so steady and reliable, always there for me, my anxiety ebbs and I can shine–be the very best I can be.

Comte: “MC…”

Comte looks absolutely moved by what I have to say, directing a gentle, tender look at me.

Comte reiterates his previous warning, that they might be weirdos and/or rude because they're stuck in their ways. He knows their discriminatory nature is wrong, but he believes in her ability to overcome those things--and fully intends to support her. He also lets her know what to expect in terms of the schedule: mostly mingling, and dancing is reserved for the very end of the party only.

Gatsby hour begins and MC marvels at the enormous venue sparsely populated by people dressed to the nines (I can only imagine how Comte dressed her up for this event in light of that LMFAO). Comte tells her he's going to get some drinks, and MC agrees to wait for him. In a classic lowkey queen move, she retreats against a nearby wall to take in her surroundings. She feels a certain intensity to be surrounded by people who look so young and beautiful, and yet carry the experience of lifetimes within them. She also notes the slightest permeating scent of blood in the air, assuming most of the people in attendance are drinking Rouge in their wine glasses.

When Comte returns to her, he offers her a glass of red wine, and she takes it with a smile.

MEAN GIRLS TIME!!!!!

So these two ladies approach le Comte yelling about how long it's been since they've seen him, and about the rumors that he got married. Without missing a beat he confirms it's true, and introduces MC to them as his wife. MC offers a greeting and a curtsy, but the women openly spurn her because she's not a vampire lmao. ("Who put you on the planet" energy, essentially). I still can't tell if they were acting like insane mother-in-laws on Comte's behalf, or out of jealousy--or weirdly both.

All casual dismissal, the women sashay away from us, dresses swishing.

[It seems like I really won’t be accepted as Comte’s life partner so long as I remain human…]

Comte: “…I’m sorry. I’m afraid that is the usual attitude of pureblood vampires. Not all of us are like that, but they still made you feel uncomfortable ;;;;”

MC: “That’s not something to apologize for. I’m happy to attend such a lovely party as your wife.”

I don’t want to ruin the occasion for him, so I beam at him.

Comte: “MC…” His lips descend close to my ear, pressing the lightest kiss against it.

Comte: “Thank you, MC…I’m happy, too.”

While Comte is full of uwus and love for his wife, she notes he stops there--likely because it's a public venue. (And I'd wager respectability politics, given a lot of old school people tend to say horrible things at the slightest sign of PDA lol. It would give them all the more reason to be nasty to MC.) MC notes that no matter how small the gesture or how often he extends his affection, it always sets her heart racing (what a damn mood) and they both gear up to greet everyone else. They're both like ganbatte!!! at each other and it's really cute, haha.

[No matter how many times he does things like this, I’m always caught off guard. I imagine we’ll be this way forever…]

Comte: “Here we go, the party’s only just begun. Let’s get to it and enjoy ourselves. No need to hesitate, it’s our wedding anniversary after all–this is a time for you to smile.”

MC: “Haha, thank you very much! Then I’ll definitely enjoy it to the fullest!”

We continue to greet and chat with other purebloods, the night goes on while I sample some of their food–

At some point MC separates from Comte to use the restroom. When she exits to rejoin the crowd, she hears the voices of those two women that openly rejected her earlier. They basically talk about how Comte and MC will never last or have a meaningful relationship, and that Comte is wasting his time not breeding more master race pureblood babies for the community's future. (Not remotely surprised Leonardo does not like them at this juncture lmao)

While MC was well aware she'd face some level of disdain, she admits that it still hurts to hear--and doesn't want Comte to see her upset. So she walks out to a nearby balcony to look at the stars and cool off before returning to his side.

Comte: “MC.”

MC: “Eh…? Comte, when did you get here?”

Comte: “You hadn’t returned for a while, so I went looking for you.”

MC: “Ah, I’m sorry to worry you. The stars were so lovely I couldn’t help but linger a bit to enjoy the sight of them.”

When I try to hide my gloomy feelings, he stares at me.

Comte: “You seem upset all of a sudden. Did something happen? Did someone…say something to you, by any chance?”

MC: “Ah, I can’t hide from you it seems. I guess I am a little upset.”

Comte: “…”

Comte: “MC, do you regret marrying me?”

MC: “!”

MC: “That’s not the case at all. No matter what finds us in the future, I’ll never regret having married you. I’m glad I met you, Abel–that will never change…”

When I tell him my heartfelt feelings, he gently wraps his arms around me.

Comte: “…Me too, MC.” The voice that murmurs at my ear is filled with such ardor that my heart melts.

Comte: “It might have been too much to ask of you to come here. But no matter how difficult the truth may be, it’s an undeniable fact that I’m a pureblood.”

Comte: “I was so happy that you wanted to know more about me–to know me better–that I was spoiled by your words. And yet, as a result of that indulgence, I hurt you…”

MC: “…No. That’s not it. Abel, I’m not familiar with vampires. But this last year, I was with a pureblood who’s kinder than anyone else I know.”

I have no innate fear or dislike of purebloods–because the person I love more than anyone else in the world is a pureblood vampire.

MC: “That’s why I’m not afraid, or dreading any of this.” It might seem outlandish, but his presence was like magic; it was enough to give me the strength to have courage and find kindness for the people around me.

MC: “No matter who stands in my way in the future, I will do my best to be recognized as your partner someday. Didn't I tell you before? I'm invincible anytime, anywhere, as long as you're there with me!”

Upon hearing her resolve to stay with him, he feels the need to renew his vow to her too--telling her that he'll always love her as well, and that his feelings have only grown since then. One important bit to note in his confession is that he fully admits he had a hard time coming to term with what he was, he's only a little more accepting of being a pureblood because her existence redefines what an eternity means to him. He explains that, while no end of time used to be an upsetting and hollow concept to him, the fact that his long life will be spent cultivating his love for her gives him the strength to face his reality.

They kiss and MC acknowledges that life--no matter how long--always has its ups and downs. Sometimes there will be rough times, like when those Mean Girls women were actively nasty and unfair to her. And sometimes there will be joyous times, like how Comte just repeated his vow to her so sweetly. But more than anything, it's important to live in the present moment as fully as possible, and she deepens her kiss with Comte accordingly.

After what I assume to be an excellent make out, they return to the venue and rejoin the group of vampires. Now then, because it's Comte and Comte refuses to take any shit he reveals his ace in the hand. Premeditated and all cunning expectation, the show begins:

After reaffirming our feelings for the other, we return to the hall. When we wandered around to greet people today, there were also vampires who were kind to me. For those that remain perturbed by my presence, they continue to sneer at me as though I were an eyesore.

[I don’t care. Comte’s by my side…]

Comte: “…That’s right, MC. There was one thing I forgot to mention.”

MC: “Huh?”

Comte: “A short while ago, you said something about doing your best to earn their approval. I wouldn’t even worry about it, you’re perfect just as you are. Everyone here just doesn’t have the slightest inkling as to your charms yet. For those with the ability to see, feel free to show them as many times as you like.”

MC: “Comte…”

At that very moment, a waltz begins to flow into the hall.

Comte: “Oh, is it time to dance already? MC, shall we?” (Oh Is It TiMe To DaNcE aLrEaDy, damn clown)

MC: “Yes.”

In time with the melody, we begin to waltz together. When I'd first arrived to this era, the steps and the dance itself were unfamiliar to me. Now when I dance with Comte it’s nearly effortless–natural as breathing.

[Comte has taken me to so many evening parties at this point. Thanks to his impeccable leading any uncertainty in my step is elegantly disguised.]

Comte: “MC.”

As we danced, he called my name--crooned it softly.

Comte: “…Have you noticed? Everyone is watching us.”

At the sound of this new information, I look around.

[Oh, it’s true–everyone really is looking at us…]

And it’s not like before, tinged with displeasure and contempt. It’s like they can’t look away from us now, dazzled and intrigued.

MC: “Makes sense–you’ve always been a very graceful dancer, Comte, it’s impossible not to find it captivating.”

Comte: “No. Without you as my partner, I can’t enjoy it nearly as much as I do now.”

He grins as he says so, the sentiment reflected in his buoyant step. Beautiful, noble…and above all, lively. Even though I’m always by his side, I remain endlessly captivated by that smile and movement.

Comte: “We are more in tune with each other than every other pair here, don’t you think?”

MC: “Haha, that’s right!”

I think le Comte is lovely no matter who he’s dancing with, but I’m sure I’m the one who gets along with him best–I think so, because his golden eyes reflect no one else but me.

[No matter what anyone says…I won’t give up this position to anyone else.]

When the song is over, and the dance is finished, the hall is filled with the raucous sound of applause and cheering. All these people are looking at us and their eyes are shining.

[I wonder…if maybe our feelings for each other were transmitted more clearly after that dance? The mere thought of it makes me feel ticklish and delighted.]

After their lovely display, the Mean Girls ladies approach MC to apologize as everybody is leaving for the night. MC accepts their apologies and says she wants to find a way to get along with them moving forward, though they're still pretty reluctant (probably only apologized to save face).

Differences in lifestyle and family tradition...I think there are many reasons why they can’t accept me. I don’t think it’s easy to understand the breadth of the gap between us; I’m sure I’ll need more time to be able to bridge those differences.

[I don’t know the way of life or struggle of the pureblood people yet. But…I want to understand.]

Even if we are endlessly different, I don’t want to give up on finding some sort of compromise. Next to me, le Comte smiles silently. For the foreseeable future--as long as it may take--I want to prove that I can make this person happy.

I deadass can't stop laughing at the fact of Comte standing next to MC all :)))))) (y'all he is emitting BOSS M U S I C)

After that, Comte and MC also head into their carriage and head home:

Comte: “MC, thank you.”

Le Comte remarks on the way home in the carriage.

MC: “…? I haven’t done anything worth thanks.”

Comte: “For today, for coming with me. And--up until now and from now on--for being by my side. I wanted to thank you again.”

He leans over from where he sits next to me and entwines our fingers together.

MC: “…Abel?”

Comte: “…Today is not just the day of the party, but our wedding anniversary too, right? From here on out, it’s time for only us two to be together.”

This is essentially where the premium story ends, and then it moves into the epilogue. I'll give some tidbits from the epilogue, just because it was so endlessly gratifying. Other than them having the smash of the century, it's mostly Comte going overstimulation feral service top. But there are so many really romantic moments during the shameless fking ;-;

The more he kisses me, the more my need for him spirals out of control. As if to entice him I twist my tongue with his deeper and deeper.

Comte: “MC…”

He exhales my name on a single heated syllable, and I can tell by the way he’s looking at me precisely what it is he wants.

Comte: “MC, what do you want to do…? I want to make you happy tonight. Do you want me to be kind? Or take you with reckless abandon?”

MC: “Abel…please do as you like. That’s what would make me happiest. :>”

Comte: “…I see. So you want to be made a mess of, is what you mean.”

MC: “Mn, aah–”

When his hands trace my sides seductively, my sensitive body reacts on it’s own.

Comte: “…You’re really cute, MC. Tonight, I’ll remind you the joy of being mine again.”

---

Comte: “Always so sensitive. Just the slightest touch, and you cry out with such a sweet voice…”

MC: “Well, it is your fault…”

[Because if Abel touches me like that…He spoils me and leaves me in an endless sea of pleasure, building up to that crest–fading–and building up again…because he loves me so dearly.]

Comte: “My fault, is it?…I like the sound of that.”

With a bewitching smile, he makes short work of his tie and button down. Even the most casual gestures like this are done with such grace that it becomes sensual. I’m drawn to the sight of him revealing more and more of his skin, thinking he’s far too much of a tease.

Comte: “…If you look at me with such desirous, greedy eyes, I’m going to lose control myself, MC.”

----

MC: “I…all I do is take from you…” I’m embarrassed because I’m so inexperienced that all I do is drown in the pleasure he gives me.

Comte: “…If you really think so, then you’re too unaware.”

MC: “Mn–ah, hah…”

Comte: “I’m the one who can’t stop wanting you…MC.”

When he leans over to murmur in my ear, his voice is suffused with desire–breathing shallow. From the gap between his lips, I can see the fangs which have never broken my skin…

MC: “Abel…do you want to bite me?”

If the answer is yes, then I’d be delighted. A vampire’s hunger for blood is often tied to romantic feeling. If he wants to suck my blood, then that’s all the more evidence that he loves me.

Comte: “That’s right. I want to sink my fangs into your soft skin…To taste your blood, to know your body and soul--I want to make every part of you mine.”

MC: “Mn…”

He drops a kiss to my throat, tickled by his tongue as he licks there–as if to taste me.

Comte: “But…”

Only I am reflected in his eyes.

Comte: “The only thing I want more than biting you is to take good care of you. I don’t want to impulsively take anything from you.”

MC: “Abel…”

....

Comte: “Someday…I will make you into a vampire. But, right now, I want you to stay exactly as you are.”

The heat of him coupled by that serious look...my heart is swept away.

Comte: “So…can you bear with my hesitation for just a little while longer?”

MC: “Yes…forever. I’ll always be yours.” I replied, wrapping my arms around his back. He squinted, as if he were staring at something dazzling.

Comte: “I’m always hesitating, but…MC. I will absolutely never let you go. I swear my love to you forever, my dear wife.”

----

The last part of the epilogue is confusing because I'm not sure if it's intended to be an actual dream or Comte just messing with her, but here goes:

[Morning already…?]

At the sensation of sunlight, I open my eyes.

MC: “Eh!?”

Comte: “Are you up, MC? The defenseless face you make when you’re asleep is adorable, but when you open your eyes and look at me that’s also lovely.”

He was lying in bed, unlike last night, wearing the same outfit he had on for our wedding.

[Ah, I’m most likely dreaming.] When I realize it, I get a ticklish feeling in my chest and can’t help the smile that finds my face.

MC: “Haha…”

Comte: “MC? What’s wrong?”

MC: “No, I was just thinking you really will always be by my side. I’m glad to see you in my dreams like this…I’m happy.”

Comte: “…Haha, that’s right. I’m happy too. But…it’s not always a dream right?”

MC: “Er…”

His voice easily makes my heart flutter, like sweet sake.

Comte: “Would you like to see if it’s a dream? …Once again, with your body.”

My heart thunders under his sultry gaze, covetous gold eyes beckoning me closer. (COME HITHER FUCK)

MC: “Yes, Abel. As many times as you like…take me.”

I know dream-like, impossibly happy days will continue as long as I stay by his side–

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is so much going on here that I don't even know how to encompass all my feelings other than to say MARRIED COUPLE G O A L S. AAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE'S SUCH A DOTING HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUT A RING ON ME S I R

I really love the endless reciprocity coming from MC, lmao. She very openly wants to respond to his efforts, wants to make him happy too, is just as desirous in their coupling. I also love how much personality and spunk she has??? I was fucking d y i n g when she was like:

MC: "Aren't the stars so nice." Comte: "Adorable that you'd try to out-fake the king faker. What really happened." MC: "Damn it."

It's been a long time since I've gotten this much serotonin from a story m a nnnnnn

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp jpn spoilers #can't believe mc defeated pureblood regina george #what a time to be alive folks #god this event is going to give me cavities #im so fucking softe #the way he just loves and supports her in such a steadfast and lowkey way #though i will admit it was a little hilarious watching this event because i was so like 'lmao is that the best you got' #i grew up with rich suburban white girls what do i care im too busy eating shrimp #GOD and the fangy part #swear to god every single time he gets fangy i just ascend #fingers crossed his fifth bday event will be him turning her IM BEGGING CRYBIRD #thanks for this request!!! hope this all makes sense #always welcome <3 #at this point i have to wonder if there is a different writer for some of comte's stories bc yeesh #h e l p comte is too powerful... #rambles #not incorrect quotes #yall when he asks if mc regrets marrying him i swear to god my heart just stopped in my chest #BABY NO?????? MY GOD?????? YOU ARE LITERALLY MY DREAM HUSBAND?????? STOP???????

[queerlennon]

Lesley-Ann Jones Is Untrustworthy

So I’ve seen some people in the fandom reading and citing Lesley-Ann Jones’ biography The Search For John Lennon recently and to be honest it’s concerning to me. Lesley Ann Jones has proved in the past to be an extremely untrustworthy source for info about the people she writes about. I understand that it’s exciting to have a book about John that’s not written by the typical “Lennon biographer” type (aka an ageing straight man) and for said book to also promise to shed light and focus on his bisexuality but, if we’re going to analyse John respectfully and accurately, it’s important to identify sources that are biased and untrustworthy, even if they’re technically within our favour. Especially when it relates to his queerness. And seeing as LAJ doesn’t have the best record when it comes to writing about rockstars’ sexualities in a respectful manner, it’s best to treat her words with caution.

Info about exactly how she’s a bad source is under the cut

Firstly, it's key to talk about LAJ's journalistic background when discussing what sort of writer she is: she's worked for papers such as The Sun, The Daily Mail, and The Mail On Sunday. Essentially, the bulk of her work has been for tabloids and traditionally the writing style for those kinds of publications place an emphasis on sensationalism and gossip. Now obviously that doesn’t discredit her work immediately, authors are usually able to write in more than one style so it doesn’t necessarily mean the tabloid style is going to carry over to her biographies; but it’s good to keep in mind when discussing and analysing the legitimacy of the narratives she creates and the stories she recounts in her work. 

LAJ has received criticism in the past, particularly from the queen fandom of often overexaggerating, or just straight presenting false information in her bios about Freddie Mercury. She is the champion of the claim that Freddie was bisexual and not gay. Her evidence for this is over-exaggerating and (seemingly intentionally) misinterpreting the nature of the relationship between Freddie and his friend, Barbara Valentin. LAJ claimed that the two had a relationship and even lived together:

“Barbara was very open with me about the sexual relationship she had with Freddie.”

(x)

(x)

However, no-one in Freddie’s life has ever corroborated that Freddie and Barbara were anything but friends. As for the claim they lived together, according to Peter Freestone, an extremely close friend of Freddie’s:

In the event, Freddie never actually lived there although Barbara fulfilled a huge role in Freddie’s life at that time... Freddie became very disillusioned when with more and more frequency articles were appearing in the German press’s gossip columns... about the relationship between him and Barbara... After one article claiming to have knowledge of him and Barbara getting married, Freddie... concluded that it could only be Barbara who was providing the information.

(x)

This exaggeration of their relationship and the insistence LAJ has on presenting Freddie as bi because of it has attracted criticism from queen fans for obvious reasons. For one, it’s borderline homophobic to essentially lie about a gay man having a relationship with a woman while downplaying his relationships with men. No, she’s not portraying him as a straight man, however it’s still erasure of the specific struggles Freddie would’ve faced being a gay man in his time, therefore those who want to analyse him would be missing some of the picture when trying to understand him and his life

LAJ’s research methods are also... questionable. This is a post from Crystal Taylor (one of Roger Taylor’s roadies) about her methods for her David Bowie bio which, if to be believed is particularly concerning.

(x)

LAJ is also known to greatly exaggerate her own relationships with her subjects. She often claims to have been friends with the people she writes bios about (coincidently the people she does this with are dead.) Back in the day she would meet with artists while on tour so the idea is convincing enough. However besides her word there’s nothing to suggest that she had close friendships with Freddie or Bowie, two people she claimed to be good friends with. There’s also this comment from Brian May which actually goes against the idea that she was close with Freddie:

(x)

So with all of this in mind, let’s look at the quote from The Search For John Lennon that’s been circulating around Beatles tumblr:

That Bowie worshipped Lennon is no secret. He'd banged on about it often enough. The ex-Beatle had gone to his hedonism. They'd met in Los Angeles, during John's Lost Weekend. I lunched from time to time with David in New York while working there as a music journalist, before he married Iman. He lent me his house in Mustique, to write the first draft of my first biography on Freddie Mercury.

The crazy pair went out to play, according to David, when John was on yet another break from May and far away from Yoko. They genderbender-ed about, John indulging again that 'inner fag' of his. What larks.

They later 'hooked up': 'There was a whore in the middle, and it wasn't either of us,' David smirked. 'At some point in proceedings, she left. I think it was a she. Not that we minded.' By the time they made it back to New York, the ambisextrous pair were 'lifelong friends'.

I’m suspicious of this story for several reasons but first I want to make it clear that none of them have to do with John having sex with men or being bisexual. I’m a very firm believer of John’s bisexuality (my username is literally queerlennon lmao) but once again I think it’s good to examine the legitimacy of sources, even when they favour our position.

Firstly, LAJ’s source for this story is the claim that David told her, which considering I can’t find any info about them being friends besides her word, combined with the fact that she’s lied about having close relationships in the past raises a lot of flags.

But even if we assume LAJ isn’t lying and did know Bowie, the quote is still suspect, particularly the line “John was on yet another break from May and far away from Yoko.” According to May in her book Loving John, her and John had only one break from their relationship (the phrase “yet another break” implies multiple) that lasted a week, and for the entirety of that week, John was with Yoko. (x)

Finally, the language LAJ uses to describe John and David’s sexualities not only puts me on edge but very much makes me question her intention. Phrases like “the genderbender-ed about,” “indulged his ‘inner fag,’” and “ambisextrous,” all come across to me as fetishisation. Bisexuality is already very highly fetishised and sexualised and LAJ is most definitely not concerned with deviating from that representation. That phrasing combined with the way she also discusses Freddie’s sexuality, where she’s alleged highly sexualised claims about him having threesomes:

And quite often that involved other people as well. Other men, other women. There would be a number of them in the bedroom at any given time. In fact they were raided by the police once and the police stormed in and they found more people than they were expecting to find in the bed that morning.

(x)

— leads me to believe that LAJ is an author less concerned with exploring John’s sexuality as apart of his life, something that made him who he was, and more concerned with including details about “bisexual threesomes” as shock value, as a sensational point she can use to to promote her book in press tours and interviews. Like a tabloid writer. And this sort disrespect representation of John’s queerness, imo isn’t that much better than the biographers who dismiss or underplay it. I totally understand that for a lot of us, finding out new info about John’s queer identity is exciting, especially for those of us who are queer and identify with a lot with John for that reason, myself included. But we shouldn’t be giving credence and legitimacy to someone who firstly, isn’t trustworthy and secondly who’s reason for talking about it is gross and exploitative at best and biphobic at worst.

tl;dr, LAJ is an incredibly untrustworthy source of info and in her own over exaggerations, treats discussions of queerness in an extremely problematic and exploitive way so please take anything you read from her with a massive grain of salt.

#john lennon #the beatles #freddie mercury #queen #david bowie #beatles analysis #lesley ann jones #shut up fable #classic rock #biographies/memoirs #fable’s analysis

[darling-i-read-it]

The Wrath of the Lamb

3x13

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 4.7k (this is officially the longest thing i’ve ever posted, i beat my own record three times with this series lmao)

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, guns, pregnancy, burning, canniablism, death, gore probably more idk 

Author’s Note: My very favorite thing about this rewrite is watching the show and seeing how those writers and creators took pieces of the original source material to create their own show and I took both the novels and the show and just did this. I am very very proud of this. I am so happy I decided to do it. I was going to make a substantial change to the ending but I honestly am hoping that one day, season 4 will happen and maybe I’ll stil be writing. Thank you all SO MUCH for getting this far. I am so happy we got to share this together and that this show is as good as it is. I hope I did it justice because this show is so complex. I hope that you all enjoy and thank you again. 

I used some direct quotes from the script so some things may seem familiar 

Official Episode Summary: Will orchestrates a plot involving Hannibal in hope of slaying Francis Dolarhyde; Bedelia is concerned for Will and the lives of those close to him.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

Tag List (is always open!) : @llperfectsymmetryll​ @ericacactus​ @vlightning95​ @sweetgoodangel​

(not my gif) 

You looked in the small window of Reba’s hospital room. You were standing outside of it beside your husband, your hand tight around your upper arm. You were almost cradling yourself in a way. This reminded you of when you had come to visit Abigail, when she was still in the hospital. As your eyes went from the window to Will you were once again thrown to the reality of now. If it had been Abigail in that room you would have looked to see a shaking, sweating puppy dog Will Graham who was so unsure of the world around him. This Will was so different. His hair was done, his shirt ironed. You had ironed it. 

He met your eyes and you gave him a small nod. He opened the door and you let him go inside. You did not follow him. He had enough empathy to give Reba and he understood where she was standing. You and him understood. You had all loved a monster.

-

Will grabbed your arm gently. You and him stood in front of Hannibal’s cage. You had no doubt that Hannibal saw you somewhere else. But nonetheless, you allowed yourself to ease in his presence. A thing Will was once again learning to do.

“Ding-dong, the Dragon’s dead,” Will said. Hannibal raised an eyebrow. He looked between the two of you and his smile faded.

“Pity. I had such plans,” he promised. You believed that. “Are congratulations in order?” Will approached the other man, just against the glass wall. 

“I didn’t kill him. Neither did Y/N. Suicide.”

“I would have liked to kill him as well,” you muttered. Hannibal seemed disappointed at that.

“Then he wasn’t as strong as the Dragon after all,” Hannibal whispered. 

“He was trying to stop,” Will argued. You weren’t sure why Will was arguing for Francis. You hated that he was. He had hurt you. Francis had scared you. You didn’t mention it but you could feel that Hannibal caught the emotion

“I was rooting for you, Will. I figured you would adore killing the man who attacked your family, it’s such a shame. You came all this way and didn’t even get to kill anybody. Only consolation is Dr. Chilton.” Hannibal paused for affect. “Congratulations for the job you did on him. I admired it enormously. Did you do it together? Was the idea hatched in the duo?” You straightened your back. 

“No,” Will said simply. 

“What a cunning couple you are,” Hannibal said anyway. 

“Are you accusing us of something?” you questioned.

“Does the enemy inside you agree with the accusation? Even a little bit?” Hannibal questioned. 

“We came back to stop the Dragon. He’s stopped,” Will stated. 

“Your family was on his itinerary Will. You’re safe now, all three of you. You can go home again. If there’s any point?” Hannibal suggested. You gave him a look. 

“I like my life,” Will said but he did not sound convincing. 

“It won't’ be the same. You’ll see it’s not the same,” Hannibal promised. You stepped closer to the glass.

“I want it to be the same. Together, we will make it the same,” you promised.

“Mutual assurances you try to exchange in the dark and in the day will pass through some refraction, making them miss their mark. When life becomes maddeningly polite…” Hannibal thought about his words and made you both think about them as well. “...think about me. Think about me, don’t worry about me.” 

Will was ready to leave. You could feel it. 

“You turned yourself in so I would always know where you are. You’d only do that if we, together, rejected you.” Will put his hand on the nape of your back. “Good-bye Hannibal.” Will started to lead you out. 

“Will…” He turned. “Was it good to see me?” 

“Good? No.” 

Will walked out and you followed him. He kept going but you stopped as the doors behind you shut. Your mind reeled and he could see it. 

“I need my own goodbye,” you whispered. He gave you a long look. He knew that this was what you needed. He knew it was. Still though, he didn’t want it. He wanted to protest. 

“I’m going back to the motel. Meet me there?” You nodded. He walked down the hall. You could feel his tenseness but ignored it as you walked back into the room with Hannibal. He was clearly surprised to see you. 

“Was that not good-bye?” he questioned. You shrugged.

“That was Will’s good-bye. Not mine.” 

You walked in front of the glass and sat down. Hannibal did the same. You were arguably one of the only people he would sit down like that for. 

“I take for granted, on occasion, that you enjoyed my company,” you told him. You played with the hem of your pants. “I recognize, to a fault, that you would eat me if let out. You would eat my husband. You would eat my baby. But still…” You smiled, reminiscently. “I loved you.” 

He was pleased to hear this. He was so pleased.

“You never would have left him. Not even if I killed him in the kitchen,” he suggested. You thought about that for a moment. You thought back to that terrible day and felt it again.

“I suppose you’re right.”

“When you came in to interview for the secretary position I had already picked someone. I didn’t want to be rude, so I let you in.” He stopped. That was the end of his story.

“Why would you let me work for you?”

“Because I liked you. And as it turns out, we would have met eventually. Through Will.” You nodded.

“But it would have been different.” 

“Yes. Yes it would have.” You pressed your hand against the glass. He looked at it and he did not put his hand on yours. 

“Will is right. I turned myself in so you and he would always know where I am. Because you rejected me.” Your hand fell off the glass slowly.

“I deserved that.” 

You stood up and took a deep breath.

“Good-bye Hannibal.” 

-

You walked up to the hotel room and started to grab the key from your purse. You struggled for a moment but eventually found it. You slid it into the lock and unlocked it, walking inside. Your mind hung over Hannibal still when you were grabbed. You had just been able to see Francis coming at you enough to push him off, hitting his head. He ran out of the door and you followed him but eventually he went too far and you had to stop. You turned back to the room and ran back, your hand on your stomach as you breathed hard from adrenaline. 

Will sat in the chair, tied down. You rushed to him, locking the door behind you. 

You started to untie him.

“Who was that?” you asked. 

“The Red Dragon,” he breathed. You scoffed.

“Not dead then.”

“Clearly.” You got him out quickly.

“Are you alright?” you questioned. He nodded, rubbing his wrists. 

“Yeah. He didn’t hurt me much.” 

“What did he want?” 

You stared at each other. He didn’t need to tell you. You knew. 

-

Will, you and Jack Crawford stood in the hall leading to the morgue. 

“The obvious thing is to try to get him to come to us. Bait him with something he wants more than us,” Will said. Jack gave him a look.

“He’d be an idiot to go for it,” Jack muttered. 

“I know. Want to hear what the best bait would be?” you asked. Jack stared at you. You stared back at him.

“Not from you.”

“Hannibal would be the best bait,” Will said so that you didn’t have to. Jack shook his head.

“Why in God’s name would anybody want to meet Hannibal Lecter?”

“To kill him, Jack. The Dragon could absorb him that way, engulf him, become more than he is,” Will explained. It gave you a moment of just realizing that was how he used to speak about killers he didn’t know. 

“You sound pretty sure Will.”

“I’m not sure. Who’s sure? I’m not even sure Hannibal would draw the Dragon. I say it’s the best shot,” Will explained. 

“Set up how?” Jack asked.

“I would be hell to do, I know that. We’d take Hannibal into federal custody,” Will said. You gave him a look. 

“Because Y/N and Alana would never sit still for what you’re about to suggest?” You gave Jack a bitter role. 

“We fake an escape.” Will stared at you for a moment and Zeller called his name. “One moment.” He disappeared in the morgue that left you and Jack alone, annoyingly. 

“You’ll have both their lives in your hands,” you whispered. 

“Since when do you care about if Hannibal gets hurt under my care?” he questioned.

“Since now.” 

-

Bedelia did not look happy. You did not expect her to be happy either. You respected her bit of unhappiness. 

“We assign a moment to decision, to dignify the process as a timely result of rational and conscious thought. Yet what you propose is so thoughtless, I find it difficult to imagine that moment exists,” Bedelia said bitterly. You stood behind Will, walking around the room slowly. Will sat down across from her.

“Decisions are made of kneaded feelings. They’re more often a lump than a sum.” Bedelia stood up, walked to where she kept the drinks and poured herself one. She offered one to you that she then realized you couldn’t drink. 

“However you think you’re going to manipulate this situation to your advantage, think again,” Bedelia said.

“There is no advantage. It’s all degrees of disadvantage,” you argued. Bedelia fixed on you and Will with a piercing stare. 

“‘Who holds the Devil, let him hold him well. He will hardly be caught a second time’.” 

“I don’t intend Hannibal to be caught a second time.” A flicker of alarm played in her eyes. 

“Can’t live with him. Can’t live without him. Is that what this is?” she asked, bitterly.

“I guess this is my Becoming,” Will suggested.

“I just tag along,” you whispered.

“Because you have two crazy men in absolute love with you,” she told you. Will stood up, straightening his jacket. He was done here.

“I’d pack my bags if I were you Bedelia. Meat’s back on the menu.” 

-

Alana looked annoyed. She sat in Jack’s office, a place you hated to the ends of the Earth. You messed with your hair a bit, leaning against the wall.

“Hannibal has tentatively agreed to the deal, as proposed,” Alana said.

“What will make him less tentative?” 

“He wants Will and Y/N to ask him.” She turned to him. “He wants you to say ‘please’.” You gave a bitter smile. So very like him.

“I’ll say ‘pretty please’,” Will said. He was preparing to speak to you. He knew what he had to bring up would not blow over right.

“We will have a stampede when people think Lecter is out,” Jack explained.

“Let them stampede. Authenticity. And let them think I helped Hannibal escape,” Will muttered.

“Authenticity?” 

“Someone has to be close. When the Dragon comes.” He turned to you. “And just one person.” For a moment, the other three people in that room let that sink in. It was a surprise even to Jack Crawford that Will would even suggest that he go somewhere without you. 

“Sorry?”

“You can’t come,” he repeated.

“No I heard you, I was letting you change your sentence.” 

“I don’t think you need to be there. You don’t.” You clenched your fist and looked away from him. You understood where he was coming from. There was no reason for you to be there. You would only be in the way and you had a child. It would be stupid.

But still.

Every piece of you wanted to be there with Will and Hannibal. You were always there with them. They were your boys. 

You shook your head slowly. 

“What do you suggest I do?” you asked. Will thought about that for a moment.

“Whatever you want.” You couldn’t look at him. He pulled a pocket knife out of his jacket pocket and handed it to you. You took it slowly but still looked away from him. “For if you need it.” You weren’t sure what that meant and you didn’t want to ask. 

-

You and Will walked into the room with Hannibal again. You had hoped to never have to see it again. He did not look surprised to see you this time.

“I thought you said your good-byes.”

“We’ve had one last good-bye between us.” Hannibal was tied up in a straight jacket. You hadn’t been this close to him for a while. You wanted to touch him but you held yourself back. 

“You didn’t just say good-bye, though, did you? That little extra bit at the end for you Will. It felt very final for both of you. I believe it’s called a ‘mic drop’. You dropped the mic, but here you are having to come back and pick it back up again,” Hannibal explained. There were nurses in there with you that stopped any kind of intimacy feeling you may have.

“I knew you would keep running if I kept chasing you. I knew you wanted me to know exactly where I could find you. When we needed you,” Will said.

“And you did,” Hannibal commented. 

“I need you, Hannibal,” you said. Will finished it off.

“Please.” 

-

Will stared at Hannibal in his cage. Even as Francis drove by, he stared at Hannibal. His mind became blurry. But still, he saw the outline of Hannibal’s face in the fog that was his mind as it crashed. People died. People were killed. 

Hannibal was let out. 

Will did not panic. He figured this would happen. He knew this would happen. 

When his mind regained his moment, he got up and stepped out of the broken car. Hannibal crossed to the police car as he took off his straight jacket. He opened the door and pulled the dead driver from the vehicle.

“What are you doing?” Will called.

“You know Will, you worry too much. You’d be so much more comfortable if you relaxed with yourself. Are you coming? He’s not going to kill us here. What he wants to do requires something a little more private.” Hannibal behind the wheel was an interesting scene. The side window was smashed, blood splashed across the inside of the windshield. Hannibal pulled up alongside Will, opened the passenger door and shoved a dead police officer out of the vehicle. He leaned over the seat.

“Going my way?” Will looked through the car door and then looked back down the road.

“You know it can’t just be the two of us,” Will said.

“It never was and never will be, just the two of us.” 

-

You sat in Jack’s office. Will’s pocket knife was in your hand tightly. You were getting a play by play that way which was the only reason you were truly there. You sat in a chair, head in one of your hands as you heard the voices go out and static. You looked up and Jack looked at you.

“What is that? What happened?” 

“Hold on.” He dialed a number.

There was an excruciatingly long moment in silence. You held your breath, biting your finger gently as you waited. Someone spoke on the other line. You couldn’t make out what they were saying. 

Then he hung up and looked at you. You stared back at him and waited.

“They were intercepted. We don’t know yet if there are any survivors.” You stared at him and he waited for that backlash. He was ready for it. But there was no anger that went over your face, instead it was just a small laugh. You shook your head and that laugh fell. 

He saw that face and he recognized the look in your eyes. 

“Do you remember the first judge of Will’s trial?” you asked quietly. 

“What?” 

“Do you. Remember. The first judge. In my husband's murder trial?” you asked again, louder this time. 

“Yeah. Hannibal killed him.” You widened your eyes and shook your head slowly.

“No. I did.”

He had no time to react. You opened the pocket knife and leaned across the desk, slashing his throat. 

-

You reached the motel room quickly after that. You pulled in at the same time you saw a car pull into the parking lot behind you. You got out of your car, hands still stained in Jack Crawford’s blood. The car slowed down beside you. You looked into it and the window rolled down, revealing Will in the passenger seat, Hannibal in the driver's seat.

You let out an audible sigh of relief. 

“Jack told me you were dead,” you said as you rushed to the window.

“Get in the back,” Will said gently. He went to grab your hand but stopped when he saw the blood. Hannibal noticed it at the same time. You did not address it, instead you got in the back of the car with them. 

Hannibal pulled out of the parking lot and away.

“The blood isn’t...the b-” Will started but you cut him off.

“No. I slit Jack Crawford’s throat,” you stated. Hannibal, pleasantly surprised, laughed. Will turned around to look at you. He didn’t look exactly surprised at you. More surprised at his lack of shock.

“About time,” Hannibal said. 

“Is he dead?” Will asked. You shrugged.

“I left before figuring that out.” 

You were so happy to be back beside the both of them. You just let out another sigh of relief.

-

You got out of the car and admired the scenery. It was such a Hannibal place, you weren’t even surprised. The sun setting, the cliff, the way the house stood on the Earth. So serendipitous. 

“The bluff is eroding. There was more land when I was here with Abigail. More land still when I was here with Miriam Lass,” Hannibal said. Will looked over the view and down the cliff a bit. Water, crashing. Gorgeous.

“Now you’re here with us,” Will said. 

“And the bluff is still eroding. You and I are suspended over the roiling Atlaninic. Soon all of this will be lost to sea,” Hannibal explained. You walked over to where Will lingered by the cliff. Hannibal walked away from you to find the key to the home. 

“This isn’t the right place for us to be,” he whispered.

“Yes it is,” you countered. 

“Running from the law with a child?”

“Sounds like something we would do and do well.” He looked over at you away from the view. 

“Let’s get your hands cleaned.” 

-

The sun set completely. The moon showed through the glass walls. You stared through the view and Will stood beside you, watching you watch your new life. He put his hand on your shoulder and you leaned into him as Hannibal walked into the room. Hannibal pulled a wine bottle from the rack and poured two glasses of wine. 

“I apologize that I cannot offer you any wine Y/N,” he said. You turned to him. Will’s hand dropped. 

“No worries.  I never liked it anyway,” you lied. Will took a glass. 

“You’re playing games with yourself in the dark of the moon,” Hannibal said, moving toward the window as well. “Wasn’t surprising that I heard from the Great Red Dragon. Was it surprising when you both heard from him?”

“Yes and no,” Will said. 

“Surprised me. I just wanted to sleep in my own bed,” you whispered. Hannibal smiled gently but that quickly fell off his features. 

“You intend to watch him kill me?” Hannibal questioned. You shook your head but Will spoke first.

“I intend to watch him change you.” Hannibal took that in, a sad smile on his face as he fingered the corkscrew. He saw it in his hands and wondered if he should kill you. Kill Will. Get it over with. Instead, he uses the tip to cut the seal on the wine bottle. 

“My compassion for you both is inconvenient,” Hannibal stated.

“If you’re partial to beef products, it’s inconvenient to be compassionate toward a cow,” Will muttered.

“Save yourself, kill them all?” Hannibal asked.

“I don’t know if we can save ourselves. And maybe that’s just fine,” you said. 

“No greater love hath man than to lay down his life for a friend’,” Hannibal recited. Will looked out the window and sensed the danger.

“He’s watching us now,” Will whispered. He looked at you and you looked back at him. You were staring at each other the second that the glass wall shattered, impaling Hannibal in the stomach. You turned quickly, moving toward Will subconsciously. Hannibal’s wine bottle dropped from his hand and a large red stain on his sweater blossomed with blood. Glass shards fell through the air and beyond them, the patio is just the black knight. In the darkness came Francis Dolarhyde.

Hannibal slid down to his knee. Blood pumping from the gunshot wound in his abdomen. Will grabbed you but Francis raised his gun to the two of you. 

“Don’t run. I’ll catch you.” Hannibal glanced down at his belly wound.

“Hello, Francis,” he said.

“Hello, Dr. Lecter,” he echoed. Francis pulled a tripod from his bag and tossed it to you before pointing the gun at your head. Will took the tripod from your hands and began to set it up. 

“I’m so happy you chose life, Francis. Suicide is the enemy.” 

“I had one rag of pride that Reba McClane gave me. It told me that suicide was a sorry end,” Francis explained.

“You were seized by a fantasy life with the brilliance and freshness and immediacy of childhood. It took you a step beyond alone.” Francis pulled out a 16-mm camera from his bag and handed it to you who fixed it on the tripod, still at gunpoint. 

“I’m going to film your death, Dr. Lecter, as dying, you meld with the strength of the Dragon.”

“It’s a glorious and rather discomfiting idea,” Hannibal muttered. You back away from the camera and he reached for the gun that was in his waistband. You wanted to reach for Will’s knife he had given you but hesitated. 

“Watching the film will be wonderful, but not as wonderful as the act itself.”

Before you even knew what was happening, a knife slammed in Will’s face. You screamed. Francis shot you in the stomach. You stumbled back and then moved forward again. Will fell through the broken wall you attacked Francis. You had enough strength to get him outside.

Francis lifted Will off the ground and Will stabbed him with the knife that was once in his cheek. As you found your own knife, Francis started to again fight Will. As you moved you saw Will rag-doll across the stones. Will’s blood spattered across the thick drops to the stone. He got to his hands and knees. You went to stab Francis again but he got to you first, slashing your side. It stunned you enough that you fell back on the stones beside your husband. 

Will pulled his gun out and Francis immediately disarmed him, tossing the gun over the bluff. You wanted to scream but nothing came out. Just as Francis went to slash him again Hannibal came out of the darkness. He tried to snap Franics neck but the man's neck was too strong and he swatted Hannibal away. 

The two of them staggered across the patio. You tried to get up and Will did as well. He tossed Hannibal off but you and Will were up again.

You started to use your knives on his legs, hoping to disarm him. Hannibal grabbed a hatchet that he found off to the side. He slammed it into Francis achilles tendon and then his knee. 

You, Will and Hannibal all stood now. Exhausted but equal. Francis bleeded from his wounds, leg destroyed. Hannibal staggered up to him and bit out Francis throat. He arched his back and blood fell all around him.

Eventually he fell and let out one last breath as he stared at Will in front of him. 

Dead. 

Will started to finally feel his wounds, as did you and Hannibal. He looked down at his hands which were drenched in red. 

“It really does look black in the moonlight,” he whispered. You didn’t know what he was talking about but you didn’t ask. You stumbled to Hannibal who caught you. In his other arm, Will stood. The three of you embraced, not quite hugging, not not hugging. 

You caught your breath together. The night was still otherwise. 

“See,” Hannibal breathed. You did not look up at him. Will’s head was against his chest. You were buried in his neck. You grabbed Will’s hand and he held it for dear life. “This is all I ever wanted for you,” he choked. “For all of us.” 

Hannibal sounded broken. 

You felt broken. 

Will looked broken.

You closed your eyes, brushing back the tears that you didn’t know were there. 

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered. And you weren’t lying. Will stared at you and he genuinely felt that it was beautiful. He felt what you did. A single tear cut through the blood on his face and fell. 

You held onto him and Hannibal tightly. 

These were your boys. These were the people you had risked it all for. And you did not regret it for even a moment.

Hannibal let out a shaky breath and you felt the Earth underneath you move. You felt the ground and then you did not. 

Where you once stood was drenched in blood. It was illuminated by the moon. If someone was to stand there, despite there no longer being a living person standing there, they would feel the emotions that had left. That place was no longer still. It was breathing. 

The sea underneath it was breathing. It had engulfed three people who loved each other more than anyone had loved anyone. 

The waves crashed against the rocks, the only noise left in the dark of the night.

#hannibal lecter x reader #will graham x reader #hannibal lecter x reader x will graham #will graham x reader x hannibal lecter #will graham imagines #hannibal lecter imagines #hannibal imagines

[petersasteria]

Rumor Has It - Tom Holland (High School AU)

Pairing:  Jock!Tom x Musical!Reader, BFF!Haz x Reader

This is my entry for @t-holland2080‘s writing challenge, but since I took a writing break from here, I didn't write it. The prompt was an Adele related quote and tbf, I've had this idea for about a month. So, I thought of mixing them up together. I've been re-watching Glee. Hence, the high school au and the Glee inspired stuff throughout this one shot.

Prompt: "You're so dramatic." "That's rich coming from the person who acts like everything is an Adele song."

Add yourself to my taglist if you’re cool x

5.3k words omg lmao hope y’all enjoy I guess

Part 2

* * * *

Rumors. No one liked them, but every day there seemed to be a rumor made up by someone. Rumors tear other people down in a lot of ways. The idea of lies spreading everywhere wasn't ideal for everyone, yet people seem to really believe them. No one knows who starts a new rumor and no one knows how they come up with it. Rumors are basically the outcome of a person's creativity put into terrible, terrible use.

Last week, someone spread a rumor about you getting your lips fixed even though you didn't. Whoever said it was clearly false, because you wouldn't want to put your talent at risk even though it wouldn't really affect your voice.

The rumors had different themes every week. Last week, it was all about someone getting any part of their body changed. This week, however, was all about break ups. Of course, your relationship with Tom wasn't spared by that rumor.

You were dating a popular guy. Of course they'll be rumors about you two breaking up. Only this time, it felt real.

Everyday you felt like Tom was slipping away from you and you didn't want that. You didn't want your favorite person out of your life yet. You've only been dating for a year and a half and you actually planned to have a future with him. You were sure.

You already had everything planned out. You were moving to New York to pursue your Broadway dreams and Tom would move with you. Both of you were applying for colleges there and you were so excited.

You were settling with him. The only question you asked yourself every night was: 'Is Tom settling for me too?' You weren't stupid, though. You knew you were losing him to the captain of the cheer leading squad. How cliché, right? He would always talk about her, he would talk to her, walk her to class and go as far as comparing her to you. It hurt. What hurt most was that he didn't even notice he was doing all of those things.

"So what'll you do with the whole Tom and what's-her-name thing?" Harrison asked you when you both entered the glee club's classroom. "I know this week's rumor is all about break ups and shit. I don't even know why rumors have themes but it is what it is, I guess. But anyway, I heard from Lauren who heard from Samantha who heard from Dylan who heard from Adam that Tom was leaving you for her."

You sighed and shook your head, "Let's not talk about it, okay? But I'm expecting that he'll break up with me soon. I mean, I won't be surprised because the rumors of our break up are beginning to come true."

"Just know that no matter what happens, I'm here for you." Harrison smiled as both of you took your seat. You looked at him and smiled as you took his hand in yours and squeezed it. It was your way of saying thank you.

This week's glee club assignment was to sing an Adele song and you loved it. You loved Adele. Her songs held so much angst and you live for it. Sometimes, you thought that Adele was taking over your life because some of her songs matched every situation in your life.

Out of all of Adele's songs, you didn't know what to sing. Thankfully, Tom helped you out by breaking up with you the next day over the phone.

"Tom, we had plans for New York!" You pleaded.

Tom rolled his eyes and huffed, "Those are YOUR plans! If you want to move to New York so much, then move there with your loser best friend, Harvey!"

"His name is Harrison-"

"I don't fucking care. Move there with him if you want to move there so much. I want to move to L.A. I don't fit in at New York, Y/N." Tom sighed. "We both want different things and with her, it's different in a good way. We both want the same things and I can see myself having a great future with her."

"What about me?" You asked softly.

"What about you?" Tom furrowed his eyebrows. He just wanted to end the conversation already because he was preparing to get ready for a date.

"A-At some point, " You started. "Did you ever see yourself having a great future with me?"

Tom paused for a second and thought about it. Did he? Sure, he loved you at some point and he cared about you. He didn't know when he stopped. But he knew that he still cared about you. You were his first real girlfriend.

"I, uh, honestly? Of course I did. We've been together for a year and a half and I loved you and cared about you. Please don't doubt that." Tom answered.

"Well, what does she have that I don't?" You questioned even though you wished he wouldn't answer it because it would hurt you.

"She's all the things you're not, Y/N." Tom said. "She's not too focused on her career. She's not too competitive and she doesn't sing show tunes all the fucking time."

You stayed quiet as tears streamed down your face. 'So that's what he thinks of me.' You thought to yourself.

"Look, Y/N. I'm really really sorry." Tom said through the phone as you cried your eyes out. "I loved you. I really did, but I don't love you anymore. There's someone-"

"There's someone else. I know. It's the cheer leading captain." You cried. "I get it, though. She has everything that I don't have and it makes sense how you'd go after a girl like her because both of you are perfect for each other. But just remember that there's one thing I can do that she can't."

"What's that?"

"She can't love you like I can. But you're willing to throw that away so goodbye, Thomas." You sniffed and wiped your tears away with your free hand.

"Bye, Y/N. Don't be a stra-"

You quickly hung up and cried. You hastily called Harrison and he went to your house as soon as he could with post-break up items. When he arrived, he ran straight to your room and you pulled him in for a hug.

"He's an asshole, I swear!" Harrison said as he pulled away and put the stuff he brought on your bed. You wiped your tears and looked at it, "What the hell is that?"

"It's a post-break up kit that I made." Harrison proudly said. "I know it's a little big than a usual kit but I don't know what else to call it. Inside, there's a bottle of wine, some popcorn, chips and a ton of flyers from different pizza places all stapled together for when you want to buy some pizza."

"That's so thoughtful of you." You chuckled. "What made you do this?"

"Well, my sister had her first ever heartbreak a few months back and as her older brother, it's my job to make sure she gets treated the way men should treat her. Then my cousin got heartbroken and I gave her a post-break up kit too. She told me it works." Harrison smiled. "You're my third customer, y'know. I refuse to let my favorite girl get heartbroken over some guy."

"Hey, he's not just some guy." You argued as you peeked inside the post-break up kit.

"Fine. He's not." Harrison said as he got the stapled flyers from the kit. "He may not be just some guy for you, but you're just some girl for him. I don't want my best friend to be just some girl. In fact, I don't want the girls in my life; my mum, my sister, my cousin, my niece when she grows up or who else, become just 'some girl' to some guy who can't appreciate what they have. All of you are special and you all deserve to feel special because all of you are amazing." He looked at you as you sat down on your bed. He sat next to you.

"I'm sorry if it sounded harsh, but you deserve the truth and the truth always hurts. I'm just keeping it real with you." He added.

You sighed, "I just- I miss being his, y'know? I miss being his girl, his everything and all that."

Harrison scoffed and shook his head, "In case you didn't know, you haven't been his girl ever since he started looking at what's-her-name's way. You haven't been his girl ever since he didn't walk you home. You haven't been his girl when he didn't pick you up after glee club meetings and you haven't been his girl when when started comparing her to you."

"You deserve better than that, Y/N. I know it's not my place to say anything at all, but you should've left him when he started slipping away because that's when it usually starts." Harrison said and suddenly the wall started to look interesting to him. "They start slipping away but you stay because you believe that they'll come to their senses and come back. But they don't. Then you blame yourself for not being good enough when they leave you. It's always like that. So, if you ever feel like someone's slipping away from you, just leave and make your life easier."

"I don't know what to say except you're right." You nodded. "Also, you're so dramatic." You chuckled as you looked at each other.

Harrison playfully rolled his eyes and smiled, "That's rich coming from the person who acts like everything is an Adele song."

"Speaking of Adele, I know what to sing for the glee club assignment." You said as you took out the bottle of wine from the kit Harrison gave you.

"And what song would that be?" Harrison asked.

"Someone Like You." You said as you stood up and walked out of your room to get two glasses for your wine.

When you left, Harrison said to himself, "Huh. Queen shit right there. I love that fucking song. Now, I don't know what to fucking sing for the assignment."

You came back in the room and Harrison said, "I'll order us pizza."

"Okay. Thanks." You smiled.

When Monday came, it was hard to look at Tom because he was with that girl he left you for. Lucky for you, Harrison was there and never left your side. When the time for glee club came, you told your teacher that you were ready to sing your song.

"I heard that you settled down, that you found a girl and you're married now." You sang beautifully and everyone was in awe. Especially Harrison. It was at that moment that he knew he liked you and that he'll do anything for you.

"Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead." You ended the song and smiled as everyone clapped. You went back to your seat next to Harrison and he smiled at you.

"You were great." Harrison grinned. "I think you'll do just fine without Tom."

You smiled at him and didn't say anything. Eventually, he was right. You were able to move on from Tom after two weeks of moping around for him. You realized you didn't want to waste your time in moping around for some guy who left you for someone else. Great stars became great stars when they were single.

Rumors. Rumors spread everywhere and they spread all the time. This week's theme of rumors were about new couples. Of course, Tom and that other girl were being talked about. They were the new 'it couple'. Rumors about you and Harrison dating were being surfaced. Of course, you didn't confirm nor deny them. No one should really care whether you two were together or not.

The truth was, you only went out on a couple of dates which you both enjoyed. You and Harrison weren't official yet, though. You were taking it slow.

On the flip side, Tom was bothered that you seemed to have forgotten all about him. He thought you would beg for him and he was kind of hurt that you didn't beg for him. It hurt his ego.

So when you were alone one day, Tom approached you when he saw you putting your things in your locker. "Hey Y/N." Tom smiled at you.

You looked at him and raised an eyebrow at him. It was weird that he spoke to you at all after the break up. He was the one who broke up with you over the phone and it confused you that he was talking to you. "Um, what do you want?" You asked.

"Ouch. Is that how you talk to the love of your life?" Tom put a hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt.

You rolled your eyes and closed your locker as you clutched your book tighter, "You haven't been the love of my life for, like, two weeks now. Get over yourself, Holland. If you're to ask help in studying, I won't help you. That's what your girlfriend is for. You told me that she's all the things I'm not. So, I assume that she's smarter than me."

Tom was about to talk when Harrison interrupted and looked between you and Tom, "What's going on here?"

You've never been more relieved in your life. You smiled at Harrison and shook your head, "Nothing important."

Harrison nodded and turned to you, "C'mon! I promised I'd take you out for lunch today."

You grinned, "Oh, right!"

"You'd love the place, I swear!" He offered his hand to you and you happily grabbed it.

"Bye, Thomas." You smiled politely before Harrison dragged you out of school. You laughed causing Harrison to laugh too.

Tom watched both of you leave the school premises and frowned. You've never rejected him before. He kind of always expected you to choose him all the time above all circumstances and he was surprised that you didn't. What did Harrison have that he didn't? He knew it was kind of silly to react this way, but he wasn't used to it. Right now, he hated Harrison for changing you. He never really had a problem with Harrison before, but right now Harrison was his enemy because he stole you away from him.

Tom had been acting weird around you lately and you wanted to file a restraining order, but Harrison said it was too much. At this point, you've been going out on dates with Harrison two months now. Both of you wanted to make it official, but both of you didn't know that.

"I'm sorry I can't attend glee club today and walk you home." Harrison said guiltily. You shook your head and said, "Haz, it's alright. Your family is important and tell Charlotte I said good luck."

Harrison smiled, "I will. Don't enjoy glee club too much without me."

"Trust me when I tell you that I won't enjoy it all without you. You make my glee club experience easier and more fun." You looked at him and tucked your hair behind your ear.

Harrison laughed and shook his head, "Oh, I could just kiss you right now!"

Your jaw dropped and his eyes widened in realization. You looked at each other and he spoke up, "Uh, forget I said anything."

"Did you mean it?" You asked. Harrison sighed and nodded. You smiled and said, "Kiss me, then."

"But I thought we were taking it slow? I don't want to force you in any-"

"Shut up and kiss me, Haz! We've been going on dates for two months now. I think it's time we make it official." You chuckled. "So if you want to kiss me so bad, go ahead, Osterfield. I dare you."

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Fuck yeah!”

He smirked and leaned in to place a sweet kiss on your lips. You kissed back and smiled through the kiss. Both of you pulled away and blushed.

"Okay, Charlotte will kill me if I'm late to watch her performance. I'll text you, okay?" Harrison held your hand and placed a kiss on it. "See you tomorrow!"

"Okay. Tell me all about it." You grinned as you watched him leave the school. You turned around to walk to the glee club's room and bumped into Tom.

"Where's your best friend? I don't see him around." Tom said as he put his hands in his pockets.

"My BOYFRIEND just left. He had to leave to watch his sister's performance at school." You told him and went around him to leave. Tom grabbed your wrist and you sighed, "What now, Thomas? Isn't Madison going to be jealous or something? I really don't have time for drama in my life."

"Leave Harrison. I want to be with you again." Tom blurted out and you laughed, "Sure, you do. Bye now." He let go of your wrist and you walked away and went to glee club.

It's been three days since that encounter with Tom and Harrison wasn't pleased with what happened. You assured him that you wouldn't leave him for Tom no matter what happens. You and Harrison have been rehearsing non-stop for sectionals with the rest of your glee club and today's the day that you'll perform.

All of you were backstage getting ready and Tom made his way to you. He huffed and he saw you kissing Harrison so he cleared his throat causing both of you to pull away. Harrison glared at Tom, but he didn't want to start a fight. He was better than that.

Harrison pecked your lips and said, "I'll check with Mike, okay?"

You smiled and nodded. He left and you looked at Tom with your arms crossed, "What're you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you perform. It's a big crowd out there." Tom chuckled as he handed you a bouquet of flowers. "These are for you."

You took them and set it on the vanity, "Thanks. You never came to any of my performances so why are you really here?"

"I came to watch you perform. I realized that I haven't really been supportive of you when we were dating and I wanted that to change. And if you liked New York so much, I'm willing to do long distance and I could visit you whenever I can." Tom explained.

"It's too late for that, don't you think?" You laughed. "Besides, we don't match. L.A. screams your name and New York screams mine. New York also screams Harrison's name and we already agreed that we'd move there together. You have Madison now and you're the one who broke up with me, Tom. Not the other way around."

"I know, but I'm leaving her for you. I'm planning to." Tom said.

"What the hell is your goal here? You came all this way to tell me this?" You asked. You were annoyed and kind of pissed. You just wanted to perform now, but the fifteen minute intermission was taking too long to end.

He shrugged, "Well, yeah. I know that once you leave him for me, you'll be all over me and we could be happy again. Then maybe I could convince you to move to L.A. instead of New York. Broadway is dead, anyway. You could audition for tv or movie roles and-"

"No, Tom!" You hissed. "Broadway is my calling. I've been preparing my whole life for Broadway and you can't take that away from me. If you want to move to L.A., that's on you. Don't drag me into it and I won't leave him for you. If leaving your partner for someone else is your cup of tea, then leave me out of it. I can't do that to Harrison. He's amazing and we're moving to New York together and that’s final."

"Show time, everyone!" a voice called out. You looked at Tom and said, "You're welcome to stay and watch, but don't bother me and Haz anymore. You don't get to do that after you've made up your mind on leaving me for Madison."

You walked to your glee club members and put on a smile. You refuse to let Tom's presence distract you. After all, you were performing with Harrison and you were finally getting the solo you deserved. It was your time to shine indeed. Nothing can ruin it for you.

Tom left and went back to his seat. As soon as he sat down, a familiar tune started to play and your clear and beautiful voice was heard in the whole venue. Tom was glad that his seat was on the third row from the stage and he was able to watch you properly. This was his first time seeing you perform and he wanted to make the most of it.

"Times have changed and we've often rewound the clock. Since the Puritans got a shock when they landed on Plymouth Rock." You sang as you stood on the center of the stage with your other glee club members still standing on the side of the stage, waiting for their cue to enter.

"If today," Your eyes met Tom and he gave you a smile and a small thumbs up. You stayed in character, though and paid no mind to him which he didn't take personally. The rest of the club marched on stage and went to their positions.

"Any shock they should try to stem 'stead of landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock would land on them." You pointed at the audience with a smile.

You glanced at Harrison and you both shared a small smile before you looked back at the audience for all of you to sing, "In olden days, a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking, but now, God knows... Anything goes!"

"Good authors, too, who once knew better words, now only use four letter words writing prose... Anything goes!" You sang and dance with Harrison as your partner, of course. As part of the choreography, you slightly pushed Harrison away and pointed at him, "Anything you can be, I can be greater. Sooner or later, I'm greater than you."

You stood at the side as everyone sang the "no, you're not" part while you sang the "yes, I am" part of the song. All of you danced beautifully when the instrumental part of the song came and everyone clapped and cheered. You were preparing yourself for the high note as everyone sang the ensemble part.

"I can hold any note longer than you." You sang as you walked to the center of the stage while everyone still danced behind you.

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can. Yes, I..." You sang and held the note. You've been practicing it for weeks and you were glad that you pulled it off really well. Your voice was loud, clear, and powerful and it overpowered your fellow glee club members' voices.

You took a deep breath for the climax of the song, "Yes, I can!"

Tom was the first one to stand up and cheer as soon as the song ended. The rest of the audience followed. All of them sat down when all the girls left the stage for the boys to do their performance. You sneakily kissed Harrison on the cheek for good luck and Tom saw it and he was admittedly jealous. He couldn't believe that he thought leaving you for Madison was a good idea.

He wanted to leave then and there, but he wanted to see what you saw in Harrison that made you choose him. The music began and Tom sat comfortably on his seat.

"Boy, boy, crazy boy, Get cool, boy! Got a rocket in your pocket. Keep coolly cool, boy!" Harrison sang as he moved around on stage with the rest of the boys just standing behind him like they rehearsed.

"Don't get hot, 'Cause man, you got some high times ahead. Take it slow and Daddy-O," Harrison looked at Tom and continued, "You can live it up and die in bed!"

Tom glared at him as Harrison continued to sing and dance with the rest of the boys. "That bastard, I swear." Tom mumbled under his breath.

Harrison finished the song with a cool pose. Everyone clapped as Tom rolled his eyes. All the boys ran off the to the side of the stage.

"Good luck." Harrison whispered in your ear before you went out there. All of you girls went on stage to sing 'It's All Over' from Dream Girls. You didn't have the main solo for this one, but you still had a solo. You were singing Beyonce's lines and you were excited. Besides, this was your time to put your acting skills into use.

Mercedes, your main soloist for this song, was doing so well and you were really glad that she got the solo she deserved.

"She ain't better than anybody. She ain't nothing but common!" She sang. You got into character and walked towards her, "Now, who you callin' common you self-indulgent, self-absorbed and unprofessional?"

"You! I'm calling you, I'm calling you, the common piece is knocking off!" Mercedes sang with a raised eyebrow and walked past you. You turned around and walked after her, "Now you listen to me, Miss Blame-It-On-The-World; see I put up with you for much too long."

"I have put up with your bitchin'." You pushed her.

"I've put up with your naggin'." You pushed her again. "And all your screamin' too!"

After a few more lines, it was your solo again, "She had nothing to do with this change. It was you! It was you always thinking of you. Always thinking of you!"

When the song ended, the boys joined the rest of you as all of you formed one straight line on stage with you and Harrison in the middle which annoyed Tom so much, but he didn't react.

You and Harrison looked at each other before looking at the audience. Both of you started the song without music, "Do you hear the people sing lost in the valley of the night? It is the music of the people who are climbing to the light. For the wretched of the earth, there is a flame that never dies. Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise."

The music started and the rest joined in for the next lines. When all of you harmonized together, you could've sworn you saw someone crying on the first row.

"Tomorrow comes!" You all sang and it gave the audience goosebumps.

When your group was announced as the champion, you were really happy. Tom cheered too. He now understood why you loved glee club. He saw your passion for performing and you were right; New York was screaming your name. Broadway really was for you. He could picture you in two different places, on stage and in his arms. It was cheesy and probably corny, but it was true.

-

Today was the day you and Harrison were moving to New York and you were excited. Both of you got accepted into NYADA and you already bought an apartment together using both of your savings and with some additional help from both of your parents.

Tom knew you were leaving today that’s why he rushed to the airport to catch up with you. He looked around and saw you hugging your parents goodbye with Harrison next to you. He smiled to himself when he was able to get to you on time.

“Y/N!” Tom called out as he ran towards you.

You pulled away from your mom and furrowed your eyebrows when you saw Tom. Harrison wasn’t pleased to see him at all and you were tired of seeing Tom after he tried to get you back multiple times since sectionals.

“Tom, what’re you doing here? I’m leaving.” You frowned at him.

Harrison looked at your parents and his parents and said, “Um, let’s leave them to talk.” He gave you a small smile before walking away with your families. You sighed and crossed your arms as you stared at Tom.

“I know you’re leaving that’s why I’m here.” Tom said. “I wanted to tell you that I won’t stop until I get you back.”

“Tom, I’m with Harrison and I love him too much to leave him. We’ve already planned our future together and you’ll have that too, Tom. Just not with me.” You told him.

“Then I’ll move to New York too and- and I’ll look for jobs there and I’ll study there too. I just- I really, really want to be with you again.” Tom begged. “What do you want me to do?”

“Why are you doing this, anyway? You’ve been like this ever since Harrison and I started going out. What’s your deal?!” You said angrily. “Okay so, what if we got back together again and the same thing happens? I don’t want to go through that, Thomas.”

“It won’t happen again, I swear!”

“How do I know that? Because you said so?! Geez, how fucking assuring!” You scoffed.

“I thought I was the only one you loved. How come you love Harrison all of a sudden?” Tom said sadly.

You rubbed your face and sighed, “You’ll always have a special place in my heart, Tom Holland. Trust me. Maybe someday, we can be friends but not now; not when you’re fucking insane. You’re my first love, yes. First loves never really go away, but we do move on from them. I’d really want us to be friends, I really do. I want you and Haz to be friends too, but you’re making it difficult.”

Suddenly, it was announced that your flight was already boarding. You looked at Tom and held both of you hands, “On behalf of me and Harrison, I forgive you for all the times you tried to sabotage our relationship. If only you used all that energy in trying to be friends with me and Haz, then none of this wouldn’t happen and maybe I’d visit you in L.A.”

You pulled him in for a hug and Tom immediately hugged back tighter, “I’ll miss you, Y/N. I really will. I especially missed you when you weren’t with me.”

You lightly chuckled and pulled away, “No matter how much you claim to miss me, you can’t keep coming back to me whenever it’s convenient for you. Goodbye, Tom.”

Harrison walked towards both of you and he nodded at Tom, acknowledging his presence. You waved to your family before leaving with Harrison. Tom looked around and called out, “Hey Y/N!”

You looked at him and waited for him to say something.

“Don’t be a stranger!” Tom shouted and waved goodbye. You smiled at him and waved back. “I won’t!” You shouted back before you and Harrison boarded the plane.

“So, what did he say?” Harrison asked.

“We just said goodbye.” You responded. Harrison pursed his lips and nodded.

“Hey,” You grabbed Harrison’s hand and he looked at you. “I love you.”

He smiled, “I love you too. New York, here we come!”

You giggled as you went to your respective seats. You couldn’t wait to spend your time in New York with Harrison. Your dreams were finally coming true... with the right guy this time.

* * * *

𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland​​​​​​ @poguesholland​​​​​ @superheroesaremytea​​  @marshxx​​​ @ella-whyte @buckys-little-hoe @harryismysunflower

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell​​​​​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​​​ @rubberducky-jrr​​​ @petersholland​​​ @osterfieldnholland​​​ @miraclesoflove​​​ @god-knows-what-am-i-doing

+ @greenorangevioletgrass bc musicals x

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shots #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #sammy's summer writing challenge #in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh

[patchofsunlight]

1K FOLLOWERS EVENT!!! — WRITING CHALLENGE

MASTERLIST TO THIS WRITING CHALLENGE

hey!!! hello!!! it’s me!!! i think most of you know but uh i reached 1k followers!!! i didn’t expect that and i’m very very happy about it thank you so much i love you hehe

i’d love to do a nice event to celebrate but i still got requests for the 800 followers event to finish, so, thanks to a suggestion by the dougnut anon (i love you) i thought of making a writing challenge event!!!

i’ll provide you a list of prompts, and then you can choose one and write something with it, be it an imagine or a drabble or headcanons!!! you can choose literally any prompt and just. write!! and then post it and tag me on it with the “nina’s 1k event” tag so i can reblog it and add it to the event masterlist when the event is done!!!

so, in conclusion, this is how it goes:

— you choose one (or more!) of the prompts from the list down below

— you write something with it! you can write for any of the fandoms i write for, so Percy Jackson and Heroes of Olympus, BNHA, and ATLA! 

↳ you can write any genre and trope, fluff, angst, crack, coffee shop! au, soulmates, whatever. just write anything you feel like writing! have fun with it!!!!

— you post your writing and tag me on it!! and please just like write somewhere that it’s for my event and what prompt you chose so i can know!!! and add the “nina’s 1k event” tag!!!

— you can write as many prompts and as many fics as you want! go wild

— yes supporting writers on tumblr yes

you can send in your writings until,,,, uh,,,, October 23rd. yeah!!! i hope you guys participate, i’m sure i’ll love to read everything you write!!!!

the prompt list comes under the cut!!! i’m excited hehe

PROMPT LIST

(they are mainly dialogue prompts because. that’s what i’m here for. also i came up with them but i’m pretty sure some are from other prompt lists and i just remembered them lmao) (also i made like..... sub-prompts to some of the prompts because i just had ideas and i couldn’t not put them there)

1. “I think I’m falling in love with you, and it scares me.”

2. “Please, help me.”

3. “I’m not saying you’re an asshole, except that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

4. “I’ve always been in love with you, since the beginning.”

5. “I don’t mind it if it’s you.”

6. “I missed you so, so much.”

7. “You can’t adopt a pet everytime you feel upset, Character B.”

8. “I thought you loved me.”

9. Character A: Where the fuck are you? Character B: Space doesn’t really exist, so I’m nowhere. Life is built on social constructs and, since there’s no way to know if we’re really alive or if it’s just an illusion, I can’t be anywhere. A: B. B: Yeah, sorry, I got caught up but I’ll be there soon.

10. “What? Me? Afraid? Come on! I’m actually terrified.”

11. “You look beautiful.”

12. “If you do this, I’ll never forgive you.”

13. “I’ll always forgive you.”

14. “It’s not your fault.”

15. “You did this! You ruined me!”

16. “You are like sunlight.”

17. “You’re enough. You’re enough, and I love you.”

18. “Why am I never good enough?”

19. “Okay, so, like, I might, well, it’s not that I might, it’s that I do, I, just, shit! Okay, well, you see— I am kind of absolutely in love with you.”

20. “You make me really, really happy.”

21. ways to say “I love you” without saying “I love you”

22. “Go to bed, you idiot.”

23. “I really like having you around.”

24. “I’m glad you exist.”

25. “You have no idea how much you mean to me.”

26. “I’m so proud of you.”

27. “I have always cared about you.”

28. Character A: I’ve never been wrong but since I met you, I’ve been wrong a ridiculous amount of times. Character B: What do you mean? A: I keep thinking you cannot get any more stupid and then you prove me wrong every single time.

29. “I’d love to be lonely with you, if you’d let me.”

30. “You lied to me!”

31. “I’m so in love with you it hurts.”

32. “If you quote another TikTok, I swear on God—”

33. make one of the characters a TikToker

33.2. “If I see you do the Renegade one more time I will literally punch you in the face.”

33.3. Character A: I love you. Character B: No, you don’t, Topper! You love the idea of me, you love being seen with me, but you don’t love me! A: ... B: I love you too.

33.4. Character A: Stop quoting TikToks! It’s annoying! Character B: Okay, okay! Sorry! A, later that day, alone in their room, muttering: Who painted the Mona Lisa? Mona Lisa! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Da Vinky?! A: *freezes* A: FUCK!

34. playing Among Us

34.2. “YOU WERE THE IMPOSTOR ALL ALONG? I TRUSTED YOU, I DEFENDED YOU, I—”

34.3. Character A: I saw you vent. Character B: No you didn’t. Vote A out, it’s them. C: k D: k E: k A: Wait, what the fuck? [A was not An Impostor. 1 Impostor remains.]

35. Among Us!AU 

36. Character A: I should’ve never trusted you! Character B: Oh, don’t blame me for this! You brought this upon yourself!

37. “I didn’t have a choice!”

38. “How could you do this? I loved you!”

39. “You deserve to be happy too.”

40. “We’re more than friends and you know it.”

41. Character A: Why did you do that? Character B: I did it for the vine.

42. Character A: Fuck. Oh, fuck. I’m in love with Character B! Character C: Yeah. A: Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?! C: What?! I thought you knew!

43. Character A: What?! That’s illegal! Character B: *sneezes* B: Oh, sorry! I’m allergic to cowards.

44. “I’m sorry I'm not good enough for you.”

45. “I wish you were here.”

46. “Why don’t you ever stay? Why do you always have to leave?”

47. Character A: I still love you. Character B: Even now? Character A: Specially now.

48. “I needed you and you weren’t here.”

49. “You deserve so much better.”

50. “I want you. After all this time, I still want you. God, I’ll always want you.”

so this is it!!! please participate because if this flops i will cry and feel too embarrassed to ever show my face again<3 LMAOOO OKAY LOVE YOU!!! THANK YOU FOR 1K FOLLOWERS!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! i’m excited to see what you write!!!

#nina's 1k event #1k followers event #writing challenge #bnha x reader #pjo x reader #hoo x reader #atla x reader #you guys have no idea how long i spent thinking of prompts #oof #but it was really fun tho hehe

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #457

“blue are the words i say and what i think  /  blue are the feelings that live inside of me”

Do you buy your lingerie at Victoria’s Secret? No. That shit is so overpriced and not for my size group. Would you ever use an online dating service? I never would again. Are you good at multitasking? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Have you ever eaten Frosted Mini Wheats? Ugh, those are so gross. What does your bikini look like? You think THIS bitch wears a bikini??????????????????????? Does age really matter in a relationship? To an extent, yes. How much does the last person you kissed mean to you? I honestly don't even know if I'd be here without her. Almost like magic, Sara popped back into my life right after I returned home from the hospital following my suicide attempt. She helped make recovery possible as a solid source of support. Do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough. My skin is so dry; I need to. Do you believe in teenage love? I experienced it deeply and thoroughly, so yes. Have you ever sat on the roof of your house? No. Do you like Sublime? I like that one popular one of theirs. "Santaria" or whatever it's called? What’s your favorite movie genre? Paranormal horror, especially the "found footage" type. It's creepy to imagine it being actually real. Is there a celebrity that you’d be willing to have a one night stand with? If he was single? I know in my gut I would lmaooooo Do you want to live in your current town the rest of your life? OH MY GOD PLEASE NO If you found out today your best friend was gay what would you do? She's demisexual, so. She can like anybody. If you could get a pet for free today-what kind/what name? A tegu, because it wouldn't need an enclosure that I don't have. I'd let it free roam. God, I can only imagine Roman's reaction. How many people have you slept with? If you mean what I think you do by "slept," one. Do you ever wish you had a family business to become a part of? Not really. What’s the most gruesome way you could come up with to kill someone? Hunny, have you seen my dark RP????? The world best be glad I'm a pacifist lmfao Do you think anyone deserves to die that way? I don't believe in torture, so no. If you had to fight for survival, what would your weapon of choice be? A gun, I guess? I'd want something with range and that's quick. I wanted to say a bow and arrow, but preparing another arrow after shooting once could really cost you your life. Where did you buy your favorite pair of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog, period. If not, are you afraid of them? No, I love big 'ole puppos!!!!! I just don't wanna own a dog myself. Are you good at playing darts? Holy fuck no, I have NO hand-eye coordination. I once stabbed the guy at a balloon popping booth thing with a dart in the arm, if that tells you anything, ooooooooooof. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? YESSSSSSSSS omg Do your parents know that/if you smoke? They know that I don’t. Have you ever been under a blacklight? Omg so in elementary school, we did this thing once where we all washed our hands as best we could and then put them under some sort of light (maybe a blacklight, idk???) to see JUST how resilient germs are. You gotta scrub the fuck out ya hands, people. How many pounds do you want to lose? I'd rather not share a number, but a lot. What’s your favorite natural phenomenon? The Northern Lights. Do you snore? Very surprisingly for someone with sleep apnea like mine, I actually don't. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? Off the very top of my head, one, but it's spelled differently. I KNOW I know of a shitload more Brittanys, though. Is it possible you could be pregnant? Well, I haven't been intimate with a man in years and just finished my period, so like- Could you go a day without texting? I go most days without texting. Do you have a step-parent? My dad is remarried, so yes. If so, do you get along with them? She's EXTREMELY Christian, so her beliefs wildly disagree with mine, but I keep my mouth shut a lot just to keep the peace. She IS a very sweet woman, nevertheless, and am glad she and my dad are so happy together. Does your current/last job require that you wear a uniform? My last job (which lasted not even two hours lol) did. When will your driver’s license expire? My permit has been expired for like... two years. Do you live in an apartment? No. If the last person you kissed proposed to you what would you say? That's too wild a concept to even imagine. I'd probably ask if she was okay lmao. Would you ever get back with one of your exes? Weeeelp, I want to get back together with Girt. Pretty badly. Write a foreign word, and what it means: "Schadenfreude" is a German term that essentially means secondhand embarrassment, but it doesn't have a perfect translation. Is there an ex you think about everyday? Inevitably. That's PTSD, my friends. Who is the last person that you said I love you to, besides family members? Sara. What's the worst thing you have ever said to anyone? Something along the lines of "no one could ever love you like I do." It boils my blood just typing that; I considered even deleting this question. That quote right there is fucking manipulation, even IF I thoroughly believed it. Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? I don't feel like looking. Do you tend to go for older or younger when looking for someone to date? It's weird, I'm into slightly older-than-me guys, but probably girls who are barely a bit younger than me. Have you ever been used? I don't think so. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Like I've said in plenty of surveys: Jason is probably a permanent fixture. But also as of the past two days, Girt's been living up there. I went from "hmmm I just don't know how I feel" to "FUCK I want to talk to him about how stupidly into him I am right this fucking INSTANT" pretty goddamn fast. It kinda scares me just because of how extreme my feelings are. Again. That's only ever gotten me hurt. Buuuut let's not get into that. Have you ever got caught cheating on a test? No, because I've never tried to. Will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope it won't be. But it's not like I know the future. Have you ever worn an oxygen mask? Actually yes, when I was young and thought I was having an asthma attack or something. Mom had one for her own asthma. Then I obviously wore one for surgery. What song do you want to be played at your funeral? "Paradise" by Coldplay is absolutely #1. How many swear words are in the song you’re listening to? I'm not listening to music; I'm back to watching Gab play Sekiro. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same sex, and if so, who? Yeah, just Sara. Who did you last tell to ‘shut up’? Ha, I think my WoW friend Lyndsey, but only playfully, of course. We pick fun at each other all the time. Would you ever get a tattoo of a boyfriend/girlfriend's name? NOOOOOOOOO. Are you one of those girls who already have baby names picked out? I know what I'd name my kids IF I actually wanted any, yeah, but I don't. Do you think guys with long hair are attractive? Yessss, I love long hair on guys. Are any of your siblings taller than you? I think Ashley is a liiiiil bit taller? I know my brother is, for sure. Have you ever scared someone so badly that they cried? Yikes, no. When was the last time you wore high heels? Boy oh boy, no idea. Is there someone that you want to hurt right now? Jeez, no thanks. What was the most interesting or colorful birthday cake you’ve had? I don't remember, but I'm sure something from childhood. What was the last thing someone bought you? Was it expensive? Mom bought me food from McD's, which obviously isn't expensive. Do you have any interesting moles anywhere you don’t want people to know of? No. Have you ever gotten high or drunk in a really formal place? Strong "no" there. Do you ever write poetry and post it on any certain websites? On the very rare occasion I write poetry and actually like it, I'll sometimes post it on dA. What do you miss most about your childhood? Actually, genuinely having fun and not dealing with fucking anhedonia. Would you like to know the precise date of your future death? Hell no. Do you photograph well? I'd like to hope so. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? Maggots and similar bug larvae. What super power would you refuse, if it was offered to you, and why? Mind reading. It just sounds... awful and overwhelming. What’s your favorite discontinued product that you wish would come back? Oh, I KNOW I have answers to this, just none are coming to me immediately and I don't feel like sitting here for five minutes thinking about it. If adults had show and tell, what would you bring into work? My snek! :') If you had a reset button for the last 10 years, would you press it? Tempting, but... I don't think I would. I cannot go through how deep my depression was again. Who is someone you would never swear in front of? My nieces and nephew. Yes, I don't believe in profanity being a "thing" and is just a stupid human fabrication, but nevertheless I acknowledge societal standards and expectations, and they're way too young to get when you shouldn't say something like that and why. Have you ever won a contest or competition? A few. Who is your favorite TV character? I don't think I really have one? Do you coo over other people’s babies? Not really, no. Sometimes I'll think they're super cute and be like "awww," but I don't like... squeal and spaz like some people do. What is something that makes you very squeamish? VOMIT. Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? Steve Irwin got me deeper than anyone else. Chester Bennington hit real hard, too. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? Most of my closest ones, yes, at least via Facebook. What’s a movie that you want to see? Old movie, but Jacob's Ladder. It was a massive influence on Silent Hill, so naturally, I'll probably love it. It's a classic, anyway. Do you use the same username everywhere online or do you have a lot? I use "Ozzkat" in most places, but I do have some other ones for different sites. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? My friend Ana recently revealed she's expecting her second child, a boy. What fad were you actually into? I have zero clue. Have you ever tailgated? Would you want to? Fuck no. That's how so many wrecks happen. My sister legit got in a wreck with an 18-wheeler mostly because she was tailgating (which she does BADLY); she was trying to pass, and he moved over at the same time because he couldn't see her coming around. It's a borderline miracle she got out with only some cuts, bruises, and a seatbelt burn. Have patience, people. Get off cars' asses. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? Look, don't get me started on this. There are a shitload of reasons and I have been way too emotional over this the past few days laksdfja;lwke What’s the last thing you had to eat? A bagel w/ cream cheese for breakfast. Do you ever pick up your house phone? We don't have a landline phone. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? Personalities, for sure. I cannot be into you if your personality isn't attractive.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''i'm blue'' by eiffel 65

[marveloussupernerd]

Are your requests open? If not, feel free to ignore this and have a great day! Otherwise, would you be willing to write a part two of the 707 one with a sick MC? I think it would be hella cute if Seven caught the cold that MC had and she has to return the favor? I totally headcanon that feverish/sick 707 would forget all about his "I'm dangerous stay away" mentality and become a clingy human magnet! I just think it would be so cute and if you don't write it, I respect your wishes! loliloveyoubye

They sure are! Sorry it took a while to get to this, school and all. You’re so sweet anon I love writing for y’all it’s no inconvenience at all ❤️ and ily2!! ALSO I reread the seven w sick Mc and wow thank you all for tolerating my incorrect use of your/you’re and to/too. I swear I know the difference but at night I think I’m too tired to notice LMAO

Sick Seven

Summary: Defender of Justice never gets sick! Until... he does. Luckily he has you to take care of him.

You had finally gotten over your cold, thank goodness. It had taken a bit to fully recover, but now you were feeling great. It was the weekend, the sun was out... it was the perfect day for a picnic date with Seven. You decided to call him to check his schedule. He picked up on the second ring.

“Hello?” His voice was muffled.

“Hi Babe! What are you up to?” You asked, twirling a piece of hair between your fingers.

“Oh... I’m still in bed.”

“Still in bed?” You questioned. “Do you not have any work?”

“No, I’m-“ he broke out into a fit of coughs. “I’m sick.”

He really didn’t sound well. “I thought the Defender of Justice had an immune system of steel or whatever,” you commented, quoting him from the week prior when he took care of you.

“I was wrong.”

He never gave in that easily. “Wow... you really are sick.” You put the cute outfit you had planned back and grabbed some sweatpants and a t-shirt. “I’ll be over in a half hour, Baby.”

“Okay,” he sniffled. “Thank you.”

You made a quick stop at the store to grab some food, medicine, and tissues. Seven never stocked up on things like that, so you figured it was better to be safe and get extra. Still, you kept your promise and got there in 30 minutes.

“Please state your name.” The door instructed you. You hated this security system. You called Seven. Three times, no answer. He must be asleep. You called Saeran.

“Hello?” He answered. He sounded extremely confused.

“Hi Saeran. I’m at the front door; you mind letting me in?”

Within a few seconds, the door opened. Saeran grabbed a few bags from your arms and helped you carry them in. “I’m glad you came,” he admitted, looking down at the groceries you had brought. “He’s been pretty pitiful.”

You giggled. “I’ll try and whip him into shape. Thanks Saeran.”

You made your way into his bedroom. He... wasn’t there? His bed was disheveled, but no Seven. You went back to the living room. He wasn’t on the couch either. Next you went to the office area. There he was, sleeping in his chair.

“Seven,” you whispered. He didn’t move. “Seven,” you shook him slightly this time.

His eyes peeked open and he groaned. “So tired... so sick.”

“Hi Love.” You ran a hand through his hair, messing it up a little more than it already was, then kissed the top of his head. “Let’s get you to bed. We can’t have you sleeping on your chair.”

“Thanks for coming,” he grumbled, his voice tired and miserable. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too. Okay, so bed. What do you want me to do? You want medicine? Tea? Soup? Tissues? Cuddles? Heating pad? Ice pack?”

“All.”

“At once?” You questioned. He nodded. “I’ll... try my best. Have you taken any medicine yet?@

“Some Advil a few hours ago.” He shrugged. You grabbed his arm and helped him up.

“No wonder you feel so awful. I bought some cold medicine for you. Let’s take it and then I’ll start the soup.” He grabbed onto your hand as you walked, leading him to the kitchen where you had set all the bags. You popped out a pill from the cold medicine package, pushing it his way with a glass of water.

Seconds after swallowing the pill, he made his way to wrap his arms around you from behind, nuzzling his cheek into your shoulder. He... wouldn’t get off. “Seven. I’ve gotta make the food.”

“Make it with me right here.” His voice muffled from the fabric of your shirt.

“I don’t want you standing around too much. You need to rest.” Maybe your sympathy had gotten to him, because he hesitantly let go and left the room. You heard a curse muttered followed by a crash. Didn’t sound like he let it go.

“Seven let me-“ you stopped your sentence as you saw him carrying his rolling desk chair.

“Oh perfect. I’m too week. Will you bring that to the kitchen?” He gave you puppy dog eyes and you sighed, grabbing the chair from him.

Once in the kitchen, he plopped down on the chair and moved back behind you, arms wrapping where they earlier were and his head now resting against your back.

You did a test movement to go get the carrots. He simply wheeled around behind you, never letting go. “Problem solved.” He muttered.

You got to work preparing the soup. As you were cutting carrots, Saeran came in. He took one glance at Seven and sighed. “How do you deal with him?”

“I’m right here!” Seven replied, faking sounding insulted.

“He’s perfect.” You set down the knife and rested a hand on one of his own wrapped around your waist. “Extra affectionate today, but perfect.”

“How can I help it seeing you so domestic today? You’re so cute making soup and taking care of me.” He snuggled closer against you waist. “Stay the night tonight? Pretty please?”

“Of course I will. Lots of cuddles. Taking care of you.”

When the soup was finished, he sat at the table eyeing you expectantly. Saeran had a bowl himself.

“I’m not feeding you your soup,” you commented.

Seven let out a whine. An audible whine. “But I fed you your soup Baby. Pleaseeee!”

“I think he’s regressed back to being a child,” Saeran joked. The two of you laughed. Seven was not entertained.

“Eat your own soup like a big boy. Then we’ll cuddle in bed.” You sounded like a mom telling her kid to eat their vegetables. Sick Seven was something else.

“Throw in a kiss and I’ll eat it myself.”

“On the cheek.” You bartered. He frowned. “I don’t wanna get sick again. Just got over it.” You reminded him.

“Fine,” he sighed dramatically, which caused him to cough some more. He began stuffing spoonfulls into his mouth.

“Slow down!” You warned.

“Can’t.” Soup dribbled down his chin. “Your cooking is so good. When are you moving in again? I could eat your food all day.”

“Why don’t we talk about this when one of us isn’t sick?” You suggested. Seemed like a simple suggestion, but Seven was so eager to have you nice in, and then he got sick right after you recovered.

“‘Kay.” He picked up the bowl and slurped the broth. “All done. Kisses and cuddles.” He got up and dragged you up with him.

“Thanks for the soup!” Saeran called as you were dragged into the bedroom.

Seven made his way to bed, a little more pep in his step due to the medicine and soup. He pulled you toward him a little too hard, sending you toppling into the blankets. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You got under the blankets, leaning forward to give him a kiss on the cheek. He took off his glasses, setting them on the nightstand.

“You are staying the night, for sure right?” He asked, flipping over to face you.

“Of course. If that’s what you want.”

“You know what I want?” He winked at you. You sighed. “For you to be the big spoon.”

That was a request you could handle. Seven settled in your arms. You rested your chin on his head, him curled up beneath you. “Good?” You asked.

“Perfect. Feels so safe. Night.”

You chuckled. “Good night. Love you Sevem.”

“Love you too...” he was drifting to sleep already “...Honey.” He was so cute in your arms. Granted, such a pain in the ass, but it was almost worth it when you got to see him resting peacefully.

#mystic messenger #mysme #seven

[incarnateirony]

15.13+

This year-old tweet of Merecuda’s becomes truer by the day. 

So I’ve said I’d collect old posts I’ve made over the past few years involving perennial philosophy as they apply to our current episode, rather than beating the same horses to death I’ve been banging on for years. That way if people missed/forgot these they can find them without me writing entire-assed new essays but rather find how they’re binding into the current episode -- as well as later-down link collections of thoughtbursts I had about the episode itself.

14.10: The numerology of Billie’s Book -- reality, matrixes and more; god’s understanding of the universe through the universe and the purchase of the extant universe.

Pre-ep-300: Aesclepius -- the dreamer, the healer, the serpent, the climb to divinity

Pre-14.14: Ouroboros, Jung, the Shadow; Nehushtan, the brazen serpent climbing the tree and more. Keep in mind the crucified serpent stuff in here because we’ll swing back to it.

Pre-14.18: Hermetic Absence; the human soul is the one true good. What we call evil is the absence of it. Later the episode itself swung around and quoted it so YOLO.

14.20: 

Optimism vs Nihilism; Hermeticism vs Gnosticism; the demiurge, the Truth and the Shadow. Also, see more on the Truth at this second link (x)

A cosmic game of chicken Jack being both later script-confirmed over here. (x)

Jack as the Orphic Egg, Phanes, the golden child, son of the serpent in the garden, the Big Bounce Impending.

The Empty, the Shadow, Reflection, the Lack of Soul, “Now I’m just Empty.”

S14-15 hiatus:

Old cosmogenic theories that may or may not still work.

The Shadow, Animus, Anima, God; the dance with the serpent and the cosmic marriage post-divorce -- big yike I said it was too Destiel yet here we are. Use this accessory post (x) to see the ranking of shadow/animus/anima in the video a little more clearly.

Inner worlds, we all have them, so to whom does Eden belong? After all, compare Michael’s world for Dean to Chuck’s for the rest. And I ask you to think outside the box for this (x)

A longwinded conversation about the nature of souls (x)

The Three Principles 

...just... this to think on with the rest (x)

15.11: The return of the Son and the Sun portends the revelation that the ego itself reflects light given from the sun and the soul, including the collective soul of the above and beyond, as well as a whole bunch of other stuff (phases of paths, the goddess, and more)

Once you get this far meditate on this for a bit from 15.12, given I stole the preview of the snake for it, and remastered one of my S14 spec vids for it (x)

AND FINALLY WE HAVE REACHED 15.13

Neshamah in the garden: the manifestation of the divine feminine opposed to eve as the essence of the soul or spirit in pre-fall Eden, and her connection with the unconscious serpent.

About the cross showing the way and it’s enduring relation to all above themes -- hell, that shape of cross even has meanings (x) as well as this, to the same theme,

but focusing on the sacred marriage elements more than the elements of the soul Reflected in the first link (x) Given the divine marriage itself is a whole other topic I’ve spammed to death including my old Eucharist video from 15.09 (x)

but with a long video track backwards that really requires just navigating the playlist once the above is soaked.

Also my next S14 video to remaster like I did Grudge based on the few above links (x)

and this old chart y’all are probably sick to death of that the goddamn yellowing snake fucking asked

These collective thoughts bundled, if once you’ve read them you still have questions, feel free to send asks.

Also yet again, Cas is the only one the Empty puts on faces for. His death and inky shadow didn’t work to keep him down (Shadow, primal state). His own didn’t work to put him down (Animus, Albedo, masculine ego). Meg’s didn’t work to put him down (Anima, Citrinitas, feminine superego; a fun choice when demon-searching rather than using Dumah again despite her resonance with Sam’s anima in TMWKTM and EXCELLENT opportunity to let Rachel cameo; but Cas has been at minimum in the yellow since last year and we’re not rich in opportunities to get Rachel back so it definitely worked while Cas was stumbling around in oblivion to revisit it while the rest of the guys grow into Citrinitas). 

Or you know, the literal shadow or blockage of these things as they stand with the above material (not really too unlike Belphegor as the ruler of Thagirion contrary to Tiphareth, which that GOD DAMN CROSS from 13 literally represents.) I AM EXCITE for 15.18 to see who’s face it takes next (in Rubedo, the Self and speaker of truths). And recent on set scene/event leaks minded, I think we have a pretty good idea. So I am even MORE excite. 

I really just saw Nehushtan and Neshamah talk to Phanes in the inner garden before the fall of man asking “Who are you?” in the yellowing phase of this show with the reddening impending in 15+ and I need to be let out of this box.

When I spent more than 2 decades of my life studying perennial philosophy I wanted the secrets of the universe, not the secrets of a cult fiction TV show, and frankly, I need a refund, please pull this snake out of my ear.

BuckLeming were kinda handed the inability to fuck up with as advanced as the hermetic lore has become over the last few years, but I’ve gotta say, they handled unusually well. I’m also quite fond of the Emperor-Empress-Aeonchild imagery being incorporated with the Golden Dawn/Rosicrucian/Christianized elements rather than the more alchemical abstract deliveries that whiff over people, because maybe JESUS MARY JOSEPH will ring a few bells better than colored and only loosely gendered abstracts of development, especially since they haven’t been overtly labeling things Emperor or Empress as much as depicting them with all other associated quotes and symbolism to date. Though I don’t consider 15.02/03 subtle in its delivery of the goddess role in any respect.

This is the second time the Emperor has passed his sphere to the empress. Only this time, rather than the hermit brother choosing not to initiate it for the cost, it was passed from the Empress to the child and brought us to the inner garden to find the truth of the aeon and really, I’m not okay right now, send help

(And summore x) and even (summore about the inner garden, the soul, the proto adam and divine feminine, the symbol above and a whole bunch of hoohah x) -- Yes I just linked you an entire google book. Either you wanna know or you don’t, s’your choice.

Side semi-joke commentary with Castiel’s placement in this structure: is nobody else going to point out that Cas already brought home fruit from the Tree of Life from Syria rather than this non-eden and inner garden? I don’t think they’re quite the same place, but there’s some extra lmao there. dEAnNNn i bRoughT FrUIt fRom tHE tReE oF lIFE

Edit: while i do truly believe this boils down to an excuse to see Rachel on our screens again, I can't help but have it hit harder and harder that Castiel's divine feminine superego was appealed to in supposed reminder of him having no one in life to go back to and instead an old fling he made a connection with in death.

With the overall framing of another relationship as the cause of his suffering, whether intent or by accident it couldn't have been more on point. Just sleep, Cas, happy or not. Isn't what you want here? But he didn't bite. Not one bit. He could have slowed to ask about her or split his focus to find her too, but instead he called out to Ruby still and moved on, still on point for his family back home. I have some posts about The Celestial Ruby elsewhere that I want to probe later about the Occultum but this will do for now.

#supernatural #spn #meta #my meta #masterpost #pagan life #15.13 #alchemy notes #menu post #hues of involution #serpent

[asherranceoftheheart]

Icarus Falls - Ch. I - What A Wonderful World!

Story Summary: “You'll never leave me alone right?" "You think I'd actually let you go?"

A story about the slow descent and corruption of a lonely man, a demon who learns that bonds go both ways, brothers who deeply regrets their words spoken out of anger, and a conflicted man watching them all fall down from the distance. Here's a Puppet!Chase AU that was written with extreme self-indulgence so beware and read the tags before entering.

Chapter Summary: It’s Sad Chase Hours, my friends! (:( Pairing/s: None, Platonic Character/s: Jack McLoughlin, Chase Brody, Antisepticeye, Mentions of Other Septic Egos Genre: Angst Chapter Warning/s: Creepy!Anti, Self-Deprecating Thoughts (Thoughts like I’m not as good as the others, etc.), Sadness (Archive Of Our Own Edition) Note/s: If you wanna get tagged in this fic just tell me lmao. Also I’d advise the people who has an AO3 account to follow and subscribe to this fic there cause it’ll be easier to get notifications that I’ve updated the story. Oh and Jack McLoughlin is basically NOT Sean. He’s based on him but his motivations, personality, and etc. are different. So I guess please consider him as like another Septic Ego?

Nearly an entire year has passed ever since his best friend had been rushed into this hospital and was declared to be under a comatose state without showing any sign that he was going to be waking up soon. The chemically clean smell of the hospital that originally made him sick now barely affected him. Don’t get him wrong, he still hated the smell but when you’re here every three days it stops affecting you and is basically just a part of the background like the constant beeping of the heart monitor that originally drove him rather mad.

He held Jack’s thin hand, pressing the cold palm against his cheek and closed his blurring eyes.

“I miss you so much…” Chase choked on the heavy, bitter tar of sadness clinging to the inside of his throat and the wire of thorns made out of his guilt constricting suffocatingly around his bleeding heart. “I should be the one in your place, not you… I’m the weakest, most useless one among all of us. It shouldn’t have been you.”

The stinging burn of his tears welled up in his closed eyes and he furiously blinked them away even as his body heaved with dry sobs.

Pathetic…

While all the others are out there trying to find the cure to help Jack wake up from his coma, he was stuck here moping around, constantly crying like a little crybaby…

Powerless, useless, waste of space Chase…

He snapped out of his self-deprecating thoughts when he felt something squeeze his hand lightly. If he hadn’t known better, he would have thought he was just imagining the action out of desperation. He looked at Jack’s sleeping face and humorlessly smiled. Somehow, even when the man was in the depths of his coma, Jack always knew whenever he wasn’t being kind to himself. When he was awake, he’d just painlessly whap him on his back or shoulders before pulling him into a tight hug to murmur against his hair that he’s going to be okay and that whatever mean thing he was telling himself wasn’t true.

“Hey! Don’t think of yourself that way, Chaser. If it weren’t for you nobody’d be dragging Henrik off to sleep or to eat something for the entire day and would’ve just kept on working regardless of how much he was already suffering. Jackie wouldn’t have anyone to chill and relax with when he’s trying to take a break from his superhero job to remind him that he’s human and he needs to rest too. Nobody would be dragging Marvin, screaming and spitting like a cat, out of his stuffy bedroom to enjoy the day outside and to be nicer to others rather than continuing his foot in mouth syndrome. You’re important to us Chasey so please, please never think of yourself that way.”

He could still hear Jack’s voice pleading with him while he used those silvery blue eyes to melt most of his self-doubt and self-hatred away… At least for the time being.

Chase laid his cheek on his crossed arms on top of the bed and he held Jack’s hand tightly as if he was afraid that the comatose man would disappear if he wasn’t watching over him carefully. The effects of sleepless nights, repeating extremely vivid nightmares, and the constant emotional and mental torment from Him finally took its toll on the weary man. A wave of exhaustion poured over his entire body and he could feel his eyelids being weighed down by fatigue.

He drifted off to sleep in mere seconds.

-----------------------------------------

A hand was squeezing his cheeks and pulling them apart. Chase grumbled and attempted to turn over to the other side to escape the menace who was snickering at his futile attempts.

“Good morning Chasey Wasey,” he heard Jack coo at him mockingly in a tone used to humor babies. He hissed angrily when he felt a hand ruffling his bed hair furiously making it even worse than usual. “Time to wakey and facey the day, sunshine!”

“Fuck off, Jack,” Chase grunted as he pulled up the blankets to cover his face and swatted the hand that tried to squeeze his cheeks again.

His only warning was a sigh before someone was suddenly jumping on him and laying their entire body weight on the previously sleepy man. His eyes snapped open just as his blanket was forcefully pulled down and a pair of hands with wriggling fingers began to attack his ticklish sides. Chase began to squeal like a pig and squirmed like a worm trying to escape the smirking Jack’s trap while he howled with laughter.

“Jahahahahahack! Stahahahahahap!” Chase began to curse the snickering man who ruthlessly kept dancing and digging his fingers up and down the cursing-laughing man’s sensitive sides to hear him scream.

“Awwww, why should I? Look at you, you’re having so much fun right now!” Jack grinned down at the rapidly growing red face. “Coochie coochie coo!”

The older man only took mercy on Chase after his laughter had evolved into soundless screaming and he looked like he just stopped breathing with how hard he was laughing. Jack chuckled and rolled off the panting man’s body to flump over, spread-eagled to his other side. He draped an arm over Chase’s face and snickered when he shoved it away with an irritated grunt.

“You… are… a… motherfucker,” Chase huffed out every word with a hiss, righteous vengeance burning in those teary baby blue eyes that had Jack internally adding to his mental notes to watch out for the upcoming revenge from the other man. “I’m… going… to… fucking… kill you.”

He propped himself up on an arm and teasingly poked Chase’s soft, flushed cheek with a grin.

“Is that any way to talk to your father, young man?” Jack dropped his voice in a teasing mockery of a stern father’s loving but scolding voice.

Chase rolled his eyes and gave Jack a look that could wither up an entire tree in three seconds.

“I didn’t realize you signed up for my child support, Dad,” Chase narrowed his eyes dangerously and sassed him back with a sickly sweet smile and a voice dripping with poisoned honey. “I’m sure Marvin would be very interested to find out about this little fact.”

This time it was Jack’s turn to shudder and look at the younger man with a little bit of fear. They both knew that if Marvin ever heard of their little jokes, he was not going to leave Jack in peace. That magician was determined to have Jack take responsibility as their ‘parent’ despite the fact that trying to get that legally acknowledged is going to be a piece of hell to explain. Not that that matters to Marvin of course. The prideful man could out-stubborn even a rock.

Jack pouted and Chase’s smile widened. This was definitely a win for Chase.

He smacked his palm over the little bastard’s smug face and yelped and gave Chase a disgusted look when he felt him lick his palm. He snagged his own hand away and wiped the saliva off his shirt while Chase sat up trying to pat down his fluffed up hair that was flying all over the place.

“You literally don’t know where this hand has been, you little shit.” Jack told Chase who arched an eyebrow at him and looked him dead in the eyes, no sign of regret or remorse over his previous action.

“What? Are you one of those crusty dirty bastards who never washed their hands when they go to the bathroom? Are you a crusty, dirty old man, Jack?” Chase taunted his creator who snapped and pounced on him to lock his head under his arms while he noogied his creation. “I’m going to tell Henrik you’re one of those dirty bastards and then you’ll get five hours worth of lecture for your crusty ass!”

“No you fucking won’t or I’ll tell Henrik that you haven’t been eating anything else other than Mac and Cheese for dinner for the past week just because he said that it wasn’t healthy for you and you, the complete child you are, decided to spite him because you said quote that Henrik is not the boss of you end quote.” Jack growled back at the other man who was still trying to pull his head out of his armlock.

Jack smirked victoriously when Chase stopped squirming and looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

“... Truce?” Chase finally decided after a few minutes of their stubborn staring contest. He was pouting sulkily.

Jack snorted and gave Chase’s hair another ruffle before he finally let him go, “Truce. Anyway, get your ass up. We’re supposed to be meeting the others for lunch outside today.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Chase grumbled but the next words still came out as easily as breathing to him. “Love you, bro.”

The words albeit it had been grumbled out was still painfully sincere. It lit up Jack’s weary face with a fond smile. He pulled Chase into a big hug and buried his face into that fluffy brown hair.

“Yeah… Love you too, Chaser.”

-----------------------------------------

“...dy? Mister Brody, visitation hours are done,” Chase slowly, reluctantly stirred from the peaceful dream that he tried with all his might to never wake from.

He didn’t want to wake back up into the cold reality where he had to face that he was all alone and carrying what felt like the entire world on his aching back. He wanted to stay in that memory where his family was by his side and his closest friend and brother would be there to shake him awake ready to greet him with a smile and a lively spark in his eyes. However, he knew that he couldn’t postpone reality any further and he also knew that Jack and the others wouldn’t want to lose him to the world of bittersweet memories. There was no need to add one more unimportant baggage with another comatose friend to the other’s stress.

Chase forced himself to open his eyes and his hand was still loosely being squeezed by Jack in his sleep. That was the only reaction they ever got from him. He hoped that the others at least read his messages reporting Jack’s ‘progress’ over the past months. It’d be nice to try and be optimistic in believing that this means that Jack was slowly regaining his strength again.

“Good evening, Mister Brody,” Chase sat up at the sound of the familiar voice. He rubbed the crud made from sleep from his eyes to blink up at one of the doctors that had been assigned to care for Jack.

The man had neatly cut auburn hair, freckles dusting his pretty face like a night sky full of stars, and a pair of kind grey eyes. Doctor Adam often allows him to stay a bit later than usual for visitation hours, probably out of pity especially whenever he sees his god awful face.

“Evening Doc,” Chase muttered with a rough voice and glanced at the clock. He let out a groan and rubbed a hand down his face when he saw that the clock’s hands were pointing at nine o’clock. “Thanks for giving me an additional hour, Doc.”

The man just patted his shoulder and gazed at his comatose patient’s blank face. If one didn’t know better, they would think that Jack was merely in a deep sleep.

“You slept the entire day away since you came in before lunch. Have you been getting any sleep on your own, Mister Brody?” The gentle inquiry made Chase wince as he thought about his sleep schedule or rather to be more accurate, the complete lack of it. “Please try to get some rest by yourself. Nobody would be happy if you were to follow after your brother’s footsteps into this hospital.”

Chase sighed and rubbed a thumb on the back of Jack’s hand. It’s not like he can tell the doctor that sleeping peacefully and living well is not an option in a household where you have to deal with a demon who follows your every step, save for when he comes to this hospital, to torment you and push you around. Thank fuck Marvin used a powerful warding spell on this place before he and Jamie vanished on a trip to find a spell that could wake Jack up. He did ask his older brother why he couldn’t use the same spell around the house but Marvin explained that the hospital is connected to a powerful leyline so the spell is automatically powered to be kept up without his influence. The house doesn’t have the same advantage.

He understood his brother’s explanation and dismissed his own suggestion. He didn’t want to take up too much of Marvin’s energy when he should be focusing it on more important things. Marvin gave him one of his rare hugs and thanked him for his understanding before he was off. Jamie followed after him but not before staying back a bit longer to talk to him.

“Are you truly sure that you will be alright by yourself?” Jameson furrowed his brows as he asked his older brother. Chase plastered on a convincing smile and gave the youngest ego a hug before letting him go.

“Take care of our stubborn big brother. He’s a bit prickly but since you both have the soul bond he’s more likely to listen to you and be nicer to you. Keep yourselves out of trouble, okay?” Chase stood up on his toes to kiss Jameson on his forehead before gently pushing him towards the direction Marvin left. “Go. Don’t worry your head about me. I’ll be fine. You guys would be going through more dangerous tasks than I do.”

Jameson looked like he wanted to say something before he must have thought it wasn’t worth the effort before he gave him one last squeeze and a kiss dropped down on the crown of Chase’s head before he ran off to follow their magician.

He hasn’t heard anything from them in months but Chase knew that they were fine. If Anti had captured them, he would’ve been gloating about their unfortunate fate day in and day out into Chase’s ears.

“I’ll try to take care of myself, Doc.” He returned his mind back to the present and gave the concerned doctor a small smile. “You’re right. Nobody would want me to follow Jack here.”

‘At least… not yet,’ Chase’s dull eyes dimmed further at the dark whisper of his mind.

He stretched his arms out and faked a big yawn to hide the dullness of his eyes that were only accented by the dark raccoon-like black bags circling them. Chase stood up, gently prying Jack’s hand from his own, and leaned over to brush his chapped lips against the cold skin of his forehead. Sometimes, his morbid thoughts would rear in and tell him that he was basically caring for Jack’s corpse at this point. He brushed away his brother’s growing bangs from his thin face.

“His hair’s getting pretty long,” Chase idly commented as he twirled a brown lock around his pinky finger. “We should trim it soon.”

“We should,” he heard Doctor Adam walk behind him and grab his shoulder with a firm squeeze. “You look exhausted, Chase. Are you sure you’ll be fine going home on your own?”

The fussing from the other man painfully reminded Chase of the times Henrik would nag him over his health. He’d often tell him to call him or one of the other guys to come pick him up if he was too tired from his shoots to drive home on his own.

Poor Henrik… Ever since That Day, he had gone missing, probably spirited away by the demon that was tormenting all of them. Jackie followed soon after telling them tersely that he’s not coming back until he finds the other half of his soul bond. He did tell them to call him or text him if they managed to find a solution to Jack’s coma or if they found Henrik but other than that he had been ghosting them (or well, Chase) since he left. Chase wondered if the second leader of the group managed to find any other clues about Henrik other than that time when He managed to take over Jack’s tumblr to post the taunting images of a vacation postcard that grew bloodier and glitchier with every post edit before it was erased from existence as if it had never been there in the first place. He sent Marvin and Jackie messages about what happened but he has no way of knowing if they saw it or even believed him.

“I’ll be fine. I took a cab coming here,” Chase shrugged off the warm hand from his shoulder and pushed past the unresisting taller man’s body, “It’s getting late. I won’t get you into more trouble for letting me stay past visiting hours again.”

“You look like you’re only getting your good night’s sleep here and it’s not like you’re disturbing our patient,” Adam scratched the back of his head and gazed at the tired slump of Chase’s shoulders. “Be careful on your way home and please get something to eat… You haven’t eaten anything the entire day.”

Chase wisefully didn’t say that he hasn’t been having that much of an appetite to eat anything for the past months. Everything just tasted like cardboard in his mouth and it was taking him more energy to get food down into his stomach than any other activity. He still forces himself to try and eat something three times a day despite his lack of appetite. After all, you can’t hide extreme weight loss in a recorded video easily unlike the makeup he would expertly use to hide the black bags around his eyes. He does have to care for his body or else the community would notice that something was wrong.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll eat something when I get home.” He waved off the doctor’s concerns and inclined his head towards Jack. “Bye Jackaboy… I’ll see you in three days.”

He looked back at the doctor who was now checking his patient’s numbers to see if there was anything they should be worried about or if there had been any positive change.

“Doc, please keep taking good care of my big brother.”

“Of course, you take care of yourself as well, Mister Brody.”

With one final glance at his brother’s face, he turned around and mustered up all the flimsy strength in his heart to prepare himself for the war that will greet him when he returned to that house.

-----------------------------------------

Chase paid the cab driver his fare and gave him a nice tip for the smooth drive. Before he exited the cab, he bade the old man farewell and wished him a safe drive. He slid out of the car and closed the door behind him, watching the cab disappear off into the distance then told himself that he can’t keep putting the upcoming event off. He deeply breathed in, his lungs expanding with the chill of the evening breeze before letting it out slowly through his nose to calm his racing heart.

He looked up into the darkened windows of the house, the lack of light giving it a more ominous look even before he caught sight of a pair of green eyes watching him from the windows on the second floor. There was unrestrained delight in those eyes as they relished in the sight of his obvious fear and internal conflict that kept him from moving his frozen legs to enter the house.

“Stop being such a wuss, Chase,” he whispered to himself as he swallowed around the lump in his throat and forced his shaking legs to walk up to the front door.

He unlatched the collection of keys swaying from its place on his front belt loop and flipped through them before coming to a stop on the front door key. He fumbled with it, trying to stall for more time, and inserted the item into the keyhole. The man hesitated for a second, knowing just what awaited him behind that door before he gritted his teeth and forced himself to turn the key. The click of the lock opening sounded like the bell that would sound for one’s death. He pulled the key out and reached over to wrap his sweaty hand around the ice cold steel surface of the doorknob and slowly pushed the door open.

The pitch darkness of the hallway made him feel small and helpless to whatever lurks within its shadows. He resisted the urge screaming at him to turn around and run back to the hospital with his tail tucked between his legs. He dug his nails in his palms, forming faint crescents, before he stepped inside the dark house and closed the door behind him. The hair behind his neck rose along with the goosebumps on his arms. Someone was watching him.

The feeling of being watched has grown worse now that he stood all alone in the dark. It was as if His eyes were everywhere, focusing their unblinking gaze upon his shaking form. He leaned back against the closed front door and fumbled blindly for the lock. He already has enough in his own plate dealing with the being lurking in this house that he doesn’t want to deal with impromptu home invasions. He switched the lock up.

“... I’m back,” he doesn’t know why he kept doing this even though he knew that only one person (and it was his most disliked and feared person at that) would be there to listen. His words carried through the still air of the house and Chase grimaced when he heard the previously subtle static grow louder as He approached.

He shook his head and gathered up the shattered pieces of his courage and journeyed on to the kitchen. While he doesn’t have the appetite, he could still make do with a sandwich or two for food. He’d flick on whatever light switch he’d encounter on his way to the kitchen and he began to lose some of the tension in his muscles as the dark house soon brightened up. Don’t get him wrong. He’d never fully turn off his guard while he’s outside of the hospital’s warded boundaries but light always had a way of easing some of his worries and burning away a little bit of that fear.

When he reached the kitchen, he headed straight for the cupboard to grab a box full of teabags to get a kettle started up. He used whatever flavor his hand could snag from the box first before putting the other teabags back in the cupboard. Then he walked over to the fridge and opened its door to look at his selection of food.

Normally, if this had been the past and he had the energy and enthusiasm, he would’ve been cooking homemade food because it was his favorite activity other than filming videos and trickshots, playing the piano, or doodling or sketching something that caught his interest. However, it’s been a while since he did any of those hobbies. He didn’t really have any room in his energy output to be able to invest some time in his own passions.

Most of what was inside the fridge delivered fast food and a rare takeout box. Occasionally he’d get the energy to eat outside since he was sick of the silence of the house but that happens probably twice or thrice a month.

He wasn’t in the mood for anything especially heavy so he chose the club sandwich that came with his ordered salad a week ago. He gave it a careful sniff and shrugged when it smelled pretty normal.

When he closed the fridge’s door, he didn’t react to His sudden appearance behind it.

“Hello, little Brody,” the demon purred, His creepy inhumane wide smile stretching out further until it looked like it was about to split His face apart when He saw his hand tightly gripping his sandwich. “Did you have fun visiting Jack today?”

Chase swallowed the biting words ‘Don’t say his name’ down his throat to let it sit heavily in his stomach. He found that the best way to cope with the demon’s presence was to ignore Him and give Him no attention until He grows bored of you for the rest of the day. It’s not a perfect tactic. Sometimes it angers Him and Chase is left with new bruises covering up the side of his back that makes it difficult to sit in a hard chair but he made do. He turned around without looking back at the smiling demon and returned to the whistling kettle. The strong fragrance of peppermint filled the room and its scent lessened some of Chase’s drowsiness. He turned off the heat and poured himself a cup of tea before going to the living room.

“Still ignoring me, Chaser?” The high pitched giggles grated on Chase’s nerves and ears but he determinedly pretended that nobody was shadowing his steps, blowing little puffs of cold air behind his neck. He gritted his teeth and stopped his twitching arm from spinning him around and striking Him on the face. That would just encourage Him to retaliate.

He hastened his brisk pace and placed the cup of scalding tea on the table before collapsing on the couch. He reached out to grab the remote control of the TV from the table before turning it on and navigated the screen to Netflix. He decided to continue watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and maybe even bring some cheer to himself. His dull blue eyes never wavered from the screen in spite of the intent, sneering gaze burning a hole through him coming from the side. He only leaned over to pick up the mug that was still smoking hot.

“Have you finally received any notice from the cowardly magician and fake hero that they’ve actually read your messages or are they still pretending that you have no important information to tell them?” The demon crooned, His poisonous words managing to directly hit all of the weak points of Chase’s insecurities.

His hand tightened around the mug's handle. He felt Him shuffle closer almost until their arms were touching together.

Ignore Him Chase. Ignore Him. He’s just taunting you. He’s just trying to get a rise out of you. You know His games. You’ve been playing it since December last year. He is lying to you. Do not believe His lies.

“Leaving you with no way of contacting them for emergencies, ignoring all of your calls and messages… One would think that you’re just an unimportant nuisance to them,” He giggled, He was so close now that Chase could feel the static that clung to His presence teasingly sparking up against the skin of his arms. “Such loyal and loving brothers you have there, Chaser.”

He suddenly grew hyper aware of  the heaviness of his phone that had been stuck in his front pocket for the entire day. He didn’t power up the thing ever since he woke up this morning until he was sitting in the taxi cab on the way back. He texted Marvin and Jackie’s number to give them the weekly updates on Jack even if there hasn’t been any change at all. He began to type out that He has been haunting him and stared down at that part of the message with a blank gaze before he erased the parts mentioning how he was actually doing and just said that he’s been fine if not a bit tired.

Sometimes, when Chase was feeling a bit selfish, he wished that they would send him back something, even if it’s just the single letter K to tell him that they’ve been reading his messages. Originally, he told them about his daily nightmares about Him and how He was starting to show His presence around him but the lack of replies felt… cold and uncaring. It felt like he was annoying them about his complaints and should just suck it up. It wasn’t like He was kidnapping him or anything.

So he stopped. He only texted them now for reports on Jack’s state.

His head was beginning to hurt, more specifically the side of his head was beginning to hurt like a bitch. Ah. He was getting too emotional.

He bit down on his tongue, the pain snapped him out of the emotional downhill he was starting to fall into and to stop him from snapping at the demon and defend his brothers from the lies that He was spewing from His grinning mouth.

“Stubborn, so stubborn… You do know that everyone considers you as the weakest link of the group right?” Chase felt the shivers run up and down his spine when those ghostly fingers began to brush the top of his hair. “Poor useless, powerless little brother… You lost the only person who stood by your side while the others who swore to be your brothers abandoned you, left you to face the monster all on your own.”

Chase abruptly stood up, the mug that was filled with tea that had gone cold fell over to the floor as his loosened grip let go of it, the sound of his racing heartbeat roaring in his ears while he tried to ignore the demented cackling coming from his tormentor. His words kept bouncing around his head and in a futile attempt to forget it, he held up the ruined sandwich that he had unknowingly crushed in his hand and tore into it.

“You can’t run away from the truth, Chaser.” He crooned right next to his ears, His dark presence loomed over his shaking body. “I truly do wonder if the others would actually come to your rescue if you cried for their help?”

Chase looked down at the remaining pieces of the sandwich in his hand and at the feel of cold tea on his feet.

His sandwich tasted like ash in his mouth.

-----------------------------------------

Chase ran his fingers through his wet hair and walked out of the shower, wiping off his wet feet on the bathroom mat so that he won’t accidentally slip and crack his skull on the toilet. Knowing Him, He’d probably just laugh His ass off at his own stupidity and then the last thing that he would see would be that demon’s grinning face. That would be a shitty end to an already shitty life.

When he said that the hospital was the only safe place in the world against Him, he was sort of lying. For someone as creepy as He was, He still doesn’t invade the bathroom space especially when he’s taking a bath so that’s one place he can have some temporary peace whatsoever. It’s not that everything stops when he’s in there. Like…

Chase looked at the mirror and saw that he was crying tears of blood again. He reaches up, wiping the crimson liquid away from his cheeks, feeling the squish of the blood on his fingers, and spreads the mess all over his face. However, when he looked down he already knew what sight was waiting for him.

His fingers were clean.

When he looked back up into the mirror, there was not a shred of evidence that blood had been streaming down his cheeks a few seconds ago.

It was sickeningly funny in a fucked up way how such a thing that would’ve incited extreme panic attacks and mental breakdowns in the beginning barely fazed him anymore. He squeezed his dry fingers together and sighed. After all, there were worse things to panic about other than illusory tears of blood at this point in his life.

After their little one-sided conversation in the living room, Chase decided to take out his airpods and plug them up to his ears while he cleaned up the mess his tea made on the floor and finished up the remaining tea on the kettle and his smushed up sandwich. He could see Him snickering at his valiant attempts of ignoring Him at the corner of his eyes but Chase just averted his sight and began singing loudly to the lyrics of the songs screaming against his ears. Once he chugged down his tea, forced the tasteless sandwich down his throat, and cleaned up his mess, he dragged himself upstairs and decided to go for a hot shower before going to ‘sleep’.

The heat was both a comfort and a hit on the face about how this entire bullshit situation was the reality that he has to live with. A comatose best friend, a missing brother, a demon haunting nearly every second of his day poking at every raw wound of insecurity in his psyche, and a bunch of distant brothers who were too busy with their own respective tasks to listen to him… A tiny part of him wanted the ex-wife and children in his backstory to be real so that he could at least worry about something else other than the supernatural stuff but the bigger part of him wasn’t cruel enough to wish this messed up situation on anyone just because he wanted to feel a little less lonely.

He stepped out of his shower once his skin turned slightly red from the temperature of the water. No doubt he’s going to feel the rawness and sensitivity of his skin in the morning if he wasn’t feeling emptier than usual but for now, he just didn’t care. He changed into an oversized clean blue shirt and black shorts after he finished drying his hair with a towel and walked out into his bedroom.

The place was what you would frankly call a Mess. Dirty clothes formed into small mountains all around the corners of the room, a bunch of dirty mugs and plates sat on the table, his laptop in sleep mode settled on top of his unmade bed, and a trashcan full of empty packets of chips and snacks that he couldn’t be bothered to take out. Chase looked around his room and could just imagine Henrik or Jack’s fussing over him and the mess. They’d drag him out of his bed and help him clean out his room or get some sunshine.

God… He missed them so much…

He trudged over to his bed and replaced his laptop over to the floor. He slipped under the sheets and crossed his arms under his head while he stared up into the dark ceiling of his room. He could feel His gaze staring right at him, watching him do nothing if not for the sole purpose of reminding him that he’s not alone.

…

Would it be fucked up if he said that some part of him was glad that He was there? Save for the people in the hospital and his other absent brothers, everybody thought that he was Jack. He couldn’t let it be known that the man was in a comatose state as that would just bring more questions than reasonable answers that they could answer with. He has to pretend to be him in front of the public because nobody needs Chase but a lot of people need Jack.

The demon was the only one outside of the hospital to acknowledge that he was Chase and it’s so disgustingly, pathetically refreshing to him. He was the only one who ever calls him by his name now and it helps him remember that he wasn’t Jack, he could never be Jack.

Maybe after all this is over… If he’s still alive by then, he’ll dye his hair an outrageous color again so that nobody would ever make the mistake of calling him Jack.

“Oh Chaser~” He hates that the nickname that held such fond memories for him was now tainted by the eight months of hearing it being hissed out with mockery by the demon who couldn’t help but ruin everything that previously made him so happy. “Still giving me the cold shoulder while you’re about to sleep? How rude.”

Chase closed his eyes and turned over to lay on his stomach and bury his face into his pillows. He felt the side of the bed dip as He sat on it. Still, he feigned deafness to the sound of static popping and hissing in his ears while he tried to force himself to go to sleep. He felt his entire body tense when a painfully familiar hand started to play with his hair in the same way as Jack often did to him in the past.

“You’re lucky I’m in an indulging mood today, Chaser,” His voice dropped while His static grew louder. The hand that had been gently playing with his hair suddenly tugged on the strands while claws threateningly grazed his scalp. “On any normal day, I wouldn’t have stood for such disrespect.”

The healing bruises all over his body twinged at the same time while he listened to those words.

‘I know,’ Chase thought numbly. ‘I know that very well.’

The touch lightened once more now that He had delivered His message effectively. As those fingers glided down his hair to massage the weak spot behind his neck, he couldn’t resist melting against those hands. Unconsciously, he had moved his body closer to the gentle touches that his body has been craving for months. He wanted to laugh at the sad fact that the only physical contact he has felt over the past year came from the demon who also hurt him every single day. He heard Him chuckle as he chased His touch greedily.

“There, there, big brother’s here with you now,” Chase shuddered as He impeccably imitated Jack’s loving tone, tears springing up from behind his closed lids when he couldn’t stop the wounded whine that just escaped him. “Shh… You’re tired aren’t you, Chase? Go to sleep. I’ll keep you company for the night.”

He should be fighting this. He shouldn’t be taking any fake comfort from the demon… But he wasn’t strong enough like the others and he was so, so lonely... So they’ll forgive him if he gave in just a few times right?

“You think too much,” Chase sniffled at the perfect copy of the way Jack would express his fond exasperation while helping him go back to sleep after one of those terrible nightmares.

It hurts. It hurts that this feels like his big brother never left but he knew perfectly well that this was just another cruel game He was playing with him.

“Goodnight, Chaser,” He whispered into his ears while He continued to pet his head.

“Goodnight… Jack.”

#jacksepticeye #writersofjack #chase brody #antisepticeye #jack mcloughlin #Icarus Falls!AU #tw blood #tw hospital #tw coma #angst #hurt no comfort #creepy anti

[ificanthaveu]

Dani Reviews Wonder

hello, I'm well aware no one asked for this but this is the only way I can order my thoughts on an album and when Romance came out, someone literally asked me to fully review it and I've never forgotten about that and I loved writing a full review so hello here I am

I hate that I have to do this but DISCLAIMER: these are my opinions. I get that you may not agree with them and that’s totally cool, but if you come into my inbox attacking my opinions on a song, I will not answer it and it will be deleted without a second thought. Let’s discuss the songs, not tear each other apart 

and LET’S GO

1. INTRO

Ok so I typically do nothing with intros because I usually think they’re a waste of time. HOWEVER, I really like this one. Now that we’ve heard the whole album, it really encapsulates the entire feel of the rest of the album. It’s been on my playlist since it’s been released and I'm obsessed with it. The soft little piano in the beginning is just perfect and I really love the build up. (not many lyrics to chose from here ope)

You have a million different faces, but they'll never understand unless you let them in

2. WONDER

I never did a full analysis like I was going to for this song. However, I’m going to do like half of one here. I honestly feel like he can be talking about himself, his fans or a girl. You can see it in all 3 ways. I also just feel like there are some lyrics in this where I'm like YES. It reminds me a little bit of Mirrorball by Taylor Swift in the fact that we expect so much from celebrities and like.....why??? It’s just kind of fucked. I think this is honestly such a good single and I really really love it. I feel like it’s just really pure?? if that makes sense. Like he’s just being like “I wonder why it is like this.” and the BRIDGE ugh she's so beautiful.

I wonder why I’m so afraid of saying something wrong. I never said I was a saint.

3. HIGHER

A CERTIFIED BOP. It’s just so lively and upbeat and I wanna dance and I CANNOT WAIT to hear this live. It’s going to be absolutely insane. Blasted it on my way to get coffee this morning. And the lyrics are so lovey and cute but the beat is just too fkn good. I feel like it’s a very common theme in this album to be like “with you, nothing else matters” and like...can’t relate but ALAS I love the music about it anyway.

All eyes are lookin' at us but I can't stop fallin' in love

4. 24 HOURS

OH BOY time to FKN CRY. I absolutely love how old timey it feels. Especially the beginning, it makes me think of 50s music and I’ve been on a big 50s kick recently. Again he’s just so loud about being I don’t care what anyone thinks because I love you and I know it’s you and like YES PLEASE. and just being so in love that you’d throw it all away to come home to that person every day. I really love how the lyrics start with him being like I don’t know how to do this at all but I love you so lets go from there and then figure out the rest. And quoting “only fools rush in” made me so emotional. I love how simple the music is behind it because I think it really encapsulates the feeling of the song. It’s so hard to pick a favorite lyrics for this song my god.

(Besides the entire chorus) I paint the world that you deserve, every color you'd imagine

5. TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE

UMMMM OK???? Very Justin Timberlake vibes for me personally. Very 70s. Very vibey. “Draw a map for me laced with strawberries” ???? HOMIES I cannot I genuinely cannot. As sexual as this is, I also think it’s just so PURE. Like just teach me what’s best for you and I’ll do it. Also like...Shawn say “fuck” challenge like homie you could’ve just said it. Please. I also feel like if I was in love with someone, it’d hit different but for me it is just so FUN and I love the guitar parts a TOn. Like Idk how you can’t just get up and dance to this. Also this one live is going to be other worldly. And “babe I won’t stop til you feel the rush” I MEANNNN

F'ing me up, I'm what you dеserve

6. CALL MY FRIENDS

Ok, so idk what to really say about this one. I like the concept. I think the concept itself is really sweet and fuck it hits different when you’re away from all your friends especially during quarantine and college in general. Like I was (still am) on the phone with my friends constantly, because like Shawn said, they know me better than any one else ever will because they watched me go and grow through it. It’s also just sad because we grow up and grow apart and fuck it’s HARD. I’m not a huge fan of the chorus and I think that’s the main thing for me. The verses are sweet, but idk really about the chorus. I’m just indifferent about the chorus. But there are just lyrics in here that really hit me like “I miss how it was when we we wished we were older.” that one really gets me. 

I know you gotta make some sacrifices, I don't wanna be alone for one more night

7. DREAM

Ok I LOVE THIS SONG but I have to first get something off my chest. The first time I listened to it, I could only think of the dream song from shark boy and lava girl. I don’t know why. But I’m done with that now. Moving on. This song is just so sweet and lovey and I’m obsessed with it. I really like the rhythm of it?? I think that’s the word I’m looking for idk. ALSO him talking about their little touch bracelets like wtf why is no one in love with me. I honestly don’t have much to say about this except that I’m thoroughly obsessed with it. I kinda feel like this song could be in a movie?? you feel me??? The echoey “dream”s are also just GORGEOUS, also how it gets so soft at the end fuck I love this song. And if I think too much about it I’ll cry, but the parallels between Dream and Dream of You

I don't wanna wake up without you laying next to me

8. SONG FOR NO ONE

This song makes me sad. Very sad. God, just the feeling of having a notification and wanting it to be that one person and it just never is but every time you’re like ok but what if. I was thinking about this last night and the way I see it is that he’s made it clear all of his songs are for/about Camila. So I feel like this one is very guard up, being like “no no this isn’t about you, I swear I’m not writing songs about you. it’s about no one. it’s just something I made up” which just makes it all so much harder. Also the use of “someone” instead of “her” or “you” is also very like “I’m not going to say it.” It’s just all very sad because you have to imagine everyone asking him all the time who his songs are about and he just had to keep saying “no one.” This is the first time where he’s actually been able to say “HEY THEY’RE ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND.” And like fuck, finally. Also imagining Shawn drunk calling her and her having to say she doesn’t feel the same. AND when he's like it’s fine I’ll be fine anyway as his voice kind of trails off like GOD that feeling HURTS. I just have way too much to say about this song because I think you can go really deep into it on what the years before Camila and him started dating were really like for him. 

Close my eyes, things are better in my dreams, 'cause I'm with someone, someone I adore

9. MONSTER

I won’t say too much about this bc this song has been out for a little bit, so I’ll make this a little more personal. my friend Han is a HUGE Justin fan and I am pretty obviously a HUGE Shawn fan. and we’d always be like “omg what if” but we thought it was never going to happen so when rumors started circulating about this, we were fucking freaking out. This song is literally our dream collab. I think Justin was the perfect person for this song because of his time in the public eye. And just the whole song being like “you put me up here, so I guess you’re the only one who can push me off.” And it is pretty fucked how we put celebrities on these pedestals and expect them to not make any mistakes at all when we are constantly making them. It’s just hypocritical. It’s also hard to pick a favorite lyric for this one because I think there are a lot that hit hard so I’m doing a fave Shawn and fave Justin

Raise me up into the sky until I'm short of breath // ‘Cause unforgiveness keeps them in control

10. 305

This one surprised me in the best way. I have no idea what I was expecting for this song but god I LOVE IT. I’m obsessed with it and want to jam forever. Just very boppy??? and so HAPPY. I get so smiley when I listen to it. “Waiting for the moment that you’ll let me down” just stuck out to me because I feel like that’s such a universal feeling. Like when everything’s going so good and you’re like....ok what’s about to go wrong. I’m literally dancing in my seat to this baby. The chorus is so catchy and I really wish I was in love pt 358933. I think this may be crowned as my favorite on the album. It’s just so fun and full of love. 

Would take my heart with you if you walked away

11. ALWAYS BEEN YOU

I have been looking forward to this one and she did not disappoint!! Again, this man is screaming about how in love he is and yes, sir I’m listening. You’re the only one my heart keeps coming back to!!!!! And just the very loud instrumental with the soft “always been you”s is SO GOOD. The boy who’s really underneath all the scars and insecurities!!! God, I just feel like this one is especially raw about love. And for the thousandth time, really wish I was in love to fully feel this but STILL it has such a good beat but is still so so soft. 

Full of words I don't know how to say

12. PIECE OF YOU

Heavily reminds me of Jealous by Nick Jonas and I am HERE FOR IT. I feel like we haven’t gotten a ton of this blatant jealousy from him and the HONESTY of this is very like yes I'm possessive. I’m so into you it hurts!!! The counting is also.....hot. Idk why but I love a song that’s very like “yes I'm protective and pathetic and reckless and what about it???” Again, love the beat. A little 80s in my opinion (here’s me remembering it’s MJ inspired lmao). 

From the second you walked in the room, my night is ruined

13. LOOK UP AT THE STARS

*deep breath bc I love this song so much* ok so I read the lil things Spotify had underneath before each song and I cried immediately when I just READ that it was for the fans and then listening to it in that light just killed me. ALSO if you saw his insta live last night he was literally like “look up at the stars!! remember that one!!” and now I'm like OK THANKS. Anyways, It is so soft and fuck it’s so meaningful. This is one of my favorites for sure. It’s literally like he’s sending you away from the concert and this would be such a good closing song (I know it won’t be but I can dream). I’m crying again but “I'm not going to let you down”??? PLEASE I JUST. Calling us angels!! I’LL NEVER BE ALONE Y’ALL I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH. Never Be Alone has very much turned into our song with Shawn as his way to be like hey I’m always here so YOU’LL never be alone, and now here he is saying because YOU ALL are here I am never going to be alone. AND FUCK IT HITS DIFFERENT. AND SPENDING THE NIGHT IN WONDERLAND WITH YOU!!!! God I’m just a puddle after this one

the streetlights are all saying your name, they always say your name

14. CAN’T IMAGINE

he wrote this on his own and yes I'm emotional about it. I don’t think he’s released a song he’s written on his own since handwritten revisited??? (correct me if I'm wrong) but even that alone is enough for me to know he’s getting way more confident in his music. I think it’s a really good closing because it’s so soft and acoustic and very true to him as he started. The raspiness and realness of it even with the lil thing he says at the end. AGAIN, why tf have I not felt a love like this yet??? Of course, I’m just going to not think of it romantically but just having those people where you can’t even begin to even think about what your life would be like without them. Like I think the lack of descriptors is actually really powerful because like...he can’t imagine it, he can’t explain it so let me just tell you that I genuinely don’t know what would happen if you weren’t here. It closes out the album perfectly (not many lyrics to pick from here lmao)

Without you, all things right would feel so wrong

OVERALL - I honestly really like it there are a bunch of songs I can see myself listening to for a WHILE but there are a few that I'm very eh on as well. I really like the sound of it and the production and just the ~feel~ of the whole album

TOP 3

1. 305

2. Look Up At The Stars

3. 24 Hours

Honorary mentions: Dream and Teach Me How To Love

#me #sm #dani listens to wonder #Shawn mendes #wonder #Shawn Mendes wonder

[selfcareparker]

hi bae <3 reading that last ask i’m realizing i have no grammar? lmao

glad university is funnnn, when you said linguistics i was like 🤨 but then i googled it and it does sound interesting lmao

the too much free time part though... :( its like you expected to be thrown in and like WOO BUSY and WOO purpose (purpose may be going too far lol) but i totally get what you’re saying. ESPECIALLY when you expect to be busier and you’re not it’s like :/ ok. (& girlllll it’s fine to complain, it’s how ur feeling)

and bc of covid you have eVEN LESS STUFF TO DO, which sucks. the social part may help? even just a little bit, but maybe having some socialization.. it could be somewhat uplifting? idk gsjshsj

where i live the vaccine is for 16 and up right now but for the younger kids (12-15) it hasn’t been ✨FDA approved✨ yet so my brother is still waiting for his 🤠

okay really quick, how does drivers license work there? here you learn to drive at 16 and you can like actually drive (sometimes even alone in the car) by 17... (also burneks?)

YAYYYY GIRLLL i remember you telling me about how you haven’t seen your family in England in such a long time 🥺🥺🥺 i really hope you get to see them soon!!!! and that covid eases up so you can see them frequently again 🥺🥺🤍

i’m gonna tattoo that to my forehead “not being friends with your parents is unhealthy” EXACTLY!! the people saying that stuff are usually not close to their parents so 👀

i’ve been really busy (unfortunately imo lol) with my dance recital coming up and this singing group (which i don’t like at all) and my final tests bc of school i’m EEK but it’s a good eek i think? maybe? idk lolll, i can’t wait for everything to be over though so i can CHILL. after school however i have a missions trip in north carolina? don’t quote me on that, but yeah 🥰 i’m really excited about it bc i’ll be without my family (like on my own :)) and it’s this whole thing and i’ll get to know people and i’m gonna buy a new bathing suit that makes me look gooooood cuz i’m tryna cop a boyfriend while i’m there HAHAHAH but besides that... more acting and singing camps probably? most likely a summer job.. i don’t have any plans reallyyy set in stone but ya know (ACTUAL i do have a few things planned. but those are things i don’t want to do. so i will be ignoring them <3)

that was a long ass paragraph- but PLEASE UR RESPONSE WAS FINEEE & i love you 💓💓💖💞💘💓💞💕 literally watch me buy a ticket to germany rn

- lovely anon (or catherine? i feel that lovely anon is iconic now tho so. kinda like how i call you aria in my head not your real name lol ALSO I PROMISE IM GONNA RESPOND TO THAT REALLY SOON, it’s just really busy rn) <3

what’s wrong with tumblr i just saw this a minute ago 🥲🥲🥲🥲 they don’t want to see us together ✋🏼 but fuck them 💘

Whaksk wait wdym by you have no grammar? 😭😭hejsjs

Honestly I’m so surprised that I’m enjoying linguistics but i think since i speak english and german i’ve just always been interested in language and esp english since it’s just my second language so i was forced to learn more about the language than just words and grammar, because it’s such a big part of me and also i didn’t always have a british accent so i kind of had to... develop a british accent, and it was natural but also kind of wasn’t??? Anyway why was this one sentence like 17 lines i’m sorry

YES OMG EXACTLY and obviously i’m missing out on the whole uni experience i mean I’m introverted anyway but i don’t mind going to a party every now and then? but i haven’t talked to a single person from my uni (except in class when we had to analyse a poem or something— okay technically some of my friends go to the same uni as me but they’re all studying other stuff)

But yeah I’ll definitely try to meet my friends more often 🥺 but we all have really different schedules rn so it’s really hard to find days where we both/all are free and not too tired and yeahssjsksj but i mean.... i can pay 50% of your ticket to germany? and then we can hang out? 🥰

I think everyone over 18 can get their vaccine from Monday on so I’ll try to call (okay, my mum will call sisjsh) and see if i can get an appointment. but i think everything will be super full because previously only people over... 50?or 60? or people with like illnesses could get it and now everyone over 18 can get it??? Like that’s a lot of people who can suddenly get the vaccine sksjjs but at the same time they’re getting quicker with it (i think today over 1 million people got the vaccine???? Like i know the US probably gets wayyy more people done so idk if that sounds like nothing to you but obviously Germany is much smaller so to me that sounds like a lot???) and also one of my father’s friend’s wife (djdkdj) works at a hospital or something? And she said she’ll ask if I can get it done there so yeah 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Isksmsjjs it took me so long to figure out what burneks was, i googled it (very weird results?) and then i realised i made a typo.... yeah no idea what i was trying to say lol

So in Germany (as far as I’m aware) you can start at 17 and you can’t have your test before you’re 17 years and 6 months old (idk why) and then you’re not allowed to drive alone until you’re 18 and then you still have two years on probation(is that what it’s called?) and you’re not allowed to drink a single sip of alcohol before you’re 21 (and drive) (cause in germany you’re allowed to drink when you’re 14 (if your parents are with you and allow it), then when you’re 16 you can buy beer and wine, and when you’re 18 you can buy everything. But you’re not allowed to drink and drive (even if it’s just 0.01 promille) until you’re 21)

(Okay I just googled and I don’t think you say pro mille/per mille in english sksjsjs but like the percent (or something...) of alcohol you have in your blood (idk biology sorry) (not that you asked about drinking and driving anyway? 😭 but there you go lmaoo)

Also idk if that’s just a UK thing or you also have it in the US? But all of my relatives from England keep asking me how often I’m driving with my parents (for practice)... and in Germany that’s.... not allowed? Like in england you can get these L (Learner) plates that you can stick on the back of your car and then you can drive anytime with your parents, but in germany you can only drive with your driving instructor during a paid for and legally organised driving lesson so. Kksskaj

Yess, the good thing now is that i can go to england anytime? Because Uni is all online anyway so it’s not like i have to wait until the holidays to see my family, i really hope i’ll see them soon🥺 it was my nana’s bday today and my grandad’s a few weeks ago so i’m painting two pictures for them tomorrow and sending them as a (late) gift next week 😌 (i’ll do like an impressionist ✨field of flowers✨ (that sounds awful sksjsjsj for reference i’ll look something like this: (it’s not mine i just found it on the internet while i was looking for some inspiration

for my nana, and something with a waterfall for my grandad) (looking at it now i don’t even think that’s impressionism? Idfk i had art as my subject for my a levels (like one of my final exams) and i actually got an A 👀 but it was mainly architecture and i don’t even remember that so

Ahhh I hope it’s a good eek!! Sksjj hopefully you’ll be done with everything soon and i already know you’re gonna do really good in all of your tests😌 but still: good luck ❤️❤️❤️

Idk if it’s actually cool? But North Carolina sounds so cool to me (but honestly you could have said any state and i’d think it’s cool sksksskm) And girl I still think it’s so amazing that you just sing and dance and act and omg ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(I’m imagining us in a montage (?) like they always have in films while we’re shopping to get you a hot bathing suit😌😌 and then they always come home with like 6 shopping bags in the movies—)

This is gonna sound so dumb because who tf wants to work? But I’ve always wanted a summer job 🥲 like nothing too exhausting obviously but i’ve never earned any money by myself? I haven’t had a single job in my life (not that I’m that old and like only one of my friends has worked in her life like we’re young sksjsj) and yeah i think it would be really cool to have a summer job and earn some money 😌 but during the summer holidays (they’re only 6 weeks in germany) we’d always go to england for at least two weeks and then we’d drive to bosnia to see my dad’s family for a few days and then to croatia and then to Bosnia again sksksksms so i never had time for a summer job (obviously i’m aware that it’s a fucking privilege that i’ve never had to work and that i get to go to multiple countries during the holidays but yeah)

WHY DO I TALK SO MUCH AUSSKKSSM

Like I said I’ll pay 50% of your ticket 😌 i’ll be here stuck at home anyway, just let me know when you’re coming so i can come pick you up😌 (this emoji djskksks— but i mean it fits so i’ll use it as often as i can 😌)

Lovely anon IS iconic 😌✨ but Catherine is more than okay too🥰 so just say whatever you prefer ❤️

(And omg you never have to apologise for responding to my long ass, full-of-mistakes responses late sksjs take your time (i mean i wouldn’t be mad if you just didn’t respond to some of them i talk too much anyway <3333)

#lovely anon #<3

[tracle0]

WIP Bops Tag

So I got tagged for.... two music/listening related games in the span of two days so I will. Do both in one to save myself idk making another post lmao

First one: I think you just list things you’ve been listening to. Maybe the last ten things you listened to? I don’t know man. Tagged by the wonderful @kaatiba​ thank you boo 

I have been listening to...

Cloud Cult - I stand by the fact that Cloud Cult 500% have the best bops for apparently all my wips. ‘Time Machine Invention’ is peak Leon, don’t try and tell me otherwise. ‘It’s Your Decision’ gives me big Percival vibes. ‘Good Friend’ apparently works for every single WIP I have because I write about friends too much.

Night Vale - I missed Night Vale ok. I’ve listened to it all already, but I wanted to hear the Strexcorp arc again, and the liveshow and Carlos man. Carlos. 

I’ll Follow You Into The Dark - isolated song, but I have been listening to it over and over again, because it’s somehow playing my heart strings rather than a guitar. I am obsessed with this song. I learnt it on the ukuele as soon as I could. Major Mika vibes. Made me realise ‘ohhh he’s Catholic ain’t he’ and also made me figure out his friendship with Lynne more. Thanks, song.

Vienna Teng - someone else mentioned her recently, and I went ‘oh yeah I used to listen to her I should do that again’ the only memory I have of hearing her songs is. Not good. So I’m trying to get other memories down lmao.

I need to listen to...

Jake Parker Plagorised My Book which is a very cheerful subject. Quick run-down; Jake Parker is the creator of the yearly Inktober challenge. He plagorised the book of a black artist. I figured I should understand the Drama and then decide what I’ll do in October if not Inktober. 

Okay that’s like five, good enough. Next tag game;

Rules: Share some songs that have inspired your WIP or characters, then tag some people to play! - tagged by @albatris​ thanks homie and I’ve decided I’m going to jump around between WIPs becuase I want to. 

So first off I feel like the songs that first made me go ‘oh I could make a story out of this’ - DIAS spawned from ‘Hopeless Opus’ by Imagine Dragons. I got the idea for like. Two characters who were seperated for some reason, both regretting something, and went ‘okay! How.’ and my brain spat out Leon and Ant.

Whereas wip4 sort of spawned from both ‘On Melancholy Hill’ by Gorillaz, obviously, and also ‘Light a Roman Candle With Me’ by fun. And I cannot tell you at all why this story spawned from these songs. I think it was mostly... for Melancholy Hill, it gave me isolation vibes, and Roman Candle was more... a desperate reach for connection. wip4 has a focus on friendship. I guess that works? 

DIAS again - ‘The Cave’ by Mumford and Sons is. Peak DIAS, not gonna lie. I have officially storyboarded out an entire animatic that is just the entire plot of DIAS to this song. Every verse sort of follows each act of DIAS and uhh

So make - your sirens song and sing - all you want I will not hear what you have to say

I can’t say why because major spoilers, but that lyric. Fits. Very well. 

I mentioned ‘Time Machine Invention’ by Cloud Cult being a major Leon song, because it is, so I’ll talk about that here; Leon gets blown up at one point, and loses his leg. This, along with the fact he thinks Ant is dead, makes him Very Depressed. Vincent comes along like ‘hey dickhead stop being depressed’ except said in a slightly nicer way, and gives him a vote of confidence he needs to get up and try and fix one of the problems he has, that being the leg. 

If we give this moment our fullest attention, we’ll just keep moving forward, with no need for going back.

Which is honestly, just really good life advice, but is also kinda Leon finally starting to let go of the guilt he has over possibly killing Ant and starting to live life without any new regrets. 

wip4 again because this is getting long but I still have things to talk about; ‘Turn The Lights Off’ by Tally Hall is big It vibes, and I cannot tell you how but it does. I’m delighted to put ‘Holding Onto You’ by Twenty One Pilots as a major Keaton song, for the simple reason that Holding Onto You has tried to be a wip song for EVERY SINGLE wip, but it finally actually fits. Heck,

I’m taking over my body, back in control, no more shotty,  I bet a lot of me was lost,  t’s uncrossed and i’s undotted

is like. The first verse, and is also major Keaton being like ‘WOW WHAT THE HELL I WASLITERALLY DEAD UM WHAT’ and also the entire struggle against It. Fun times. 

‘Hello, My Old Heart’ by The Oh Hello’s is a Big Percival Mood, and I can’t really explain why - extreme protectiveness over himself and trying to save himself??? Maybe. Uhh. I’ll give you an Abby song and then done with wip4 - ‘Icicles’ by The Scary Jokes fits her freakishly well. I just found out the artist is nonbinary, which is cool, but I’ll talk about that another day. 

I can only be forgiven if I'm givin' myself up to you  On a silver serving tray  Must I bare myself to the stabbing of your knife and gnashing teeth  While our lovely company appears so entertained?

I think Abby recognises that she is in the wrong for a lot of the story, but also thinks that admitting this to Percival would sort of... reverse their roles? That he’d want revenge and would inflict the years of pain she’d put him through onto her. He wouldn’t but she doesn’t realise that. So ‘must I bear myself to the stabbing of your knife and gnashing teeth’ is just. What she assumes she’d have to deal with. 

Okay! Final song and it’s for DIAS and also for Simon cause we’re talking about villains okay. He’s got ‘The Greatest Show’ but specifically the cover by Panic! At The Disco. Simon is, to quote the lovely Summayah, ‘a dramatic fuck’ and this song is dramatic as fuck. 

Don't fight it, it's comin' for you, runnin' at ya It's only this moment, don't care what comes after Your fever dream, can't you see it gettin' closer? Just surrender 'cause you feel the feelin' takin' over 

Which is a pretty good way to explain Silvertongue commands and his general attitude to them, don’t you think? 

I’m done now. I have more songs and entire playlists but I’m done, I’ve rambled enough, this is long. I will tag: @joyful-soul-collector @druidx73 @petrolstationflowers @scmalarky @the-starlight-chills and you sir, over there, please, tell me about songs.

#writerblr #tag game #songs #tagged in #id k man #was combining two tag games where I was bound to ramble a good idea? #maybe not #but we did it anyway and here is the result #congrats if you read this far this took me super long to type out for no reason lmao #if anyone wants the wip playlists they can have them #the dias one is the best of the two #because dias has been written and so I refine it constantly lmao #whereas the wip4 one is me going 'this kinda vibes chuck it in' #and when it's being written I'l be like 'oh I never used this song I shall remove it' #but yea if you wanna listen to them feel free lmao