#otherwise god knows i'd never get fed

[drop-drop]

blablabla "stop saying they're just friends" blablabla "you're all cowards they're obviously in love" blablabla NO

you will not pry QPR huskerdust out of my hands, ever, even should said hands be cold and dead

it's about angel feeling safe to be exactly however he wants to be at any moment, knowing that husk will not act on the flirting and the propositioning!

it's about husk grumbling and telling him to fuck off but still smiling when he has to deal with his antics, still happy, somehow, to find a reason to go to work every morning other than a chain around his soul!

it's about the both of them knowing someone gets them, and carving something solid and precious out of something broken and cold.

i don't care if you ship them romantically and/or sexually, i'm happy y'all are having fun with that, but stop implying or outright saying they wouldn't work as anything else goddamnit

#hazbin hotel #platonic huskerdust #husk #angel dust #it's 'getting annoyed at vague people on the internet' time #oh btw i also don't care if they become canonically a couple <3 #non-canon shipping is also a thing for qpr thank you very much #otherwise god knows i'd never get fed #what's mine? that's mine

[charlie-lec-stories]

Everything happens for a reason // CL16

Pairing: Charles Leclerc / Stroll!Sister

Summary: After a whole life of following her father's orders, Y/N's tired of being the good girl and when she finally stood up for herself with the help of her best friend, all hell broke loose.

Warnings: Sexual comments and scenarios, cheating, strong vocabulary.

Author’s Note: Well guys, gals and non-binary pals, you know I love messy stories, this is no exception. Rate: +18 (adult content)

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"UGHHHHHH". Y/N couldn't help but laugh out loud when her brother, Lance, sat down beside her, grunting as if it was the hardest thing his body had done in 20 years.

"Really, Lance, was it really that hard? Are you that old?". She rolled her eyes as the boy fixed his position on the roof, making sure that he wouldn't fall off. They had the tradition of sitting on the roof of their mansion after dinner and before bed time. They had an hour before the staff would start looking for them, the only time they could be normal and not billionaires.

"I'm not old, it was that hard, some of us train, you know. Not everyone is naturally gifted at driving cars". She laughed again. Even though her brother tried to act annoyed with her great driving, he was actually proud of her.

"I'm not that good". She lied, but he shook his head, then let it rest on her shoulder, getting comfortable next to her under the blanket she had. Her hand went to his hair, lovingly running her fingers through the locks.

"Don't lie. Gees, I'm not ever sure who you got that from, because dad sucks". She felt his body shake as he giggled at his own comment. "That old man may love racing but God knows he should never touch a steering wheel".

"Hey, don't be like that, he's an average driver...". Lance moved his head up to give her a pointed look. "He is!... When it comes to tennis karts he is". They stayed silent for a moment before bursting out laughing so hard that they got worried someone might have heard.

"Okay, okay, enough with roasting the old man". Lance said once they calmed down. He resumed his position close to her and changed the subject. "Are you excited for the new season? I mean, you have a real chance this time, sis".

"Carlos said the same". She said, sighing and looking into the horizon. The sun was setting and the sky had that perfect shade between pink and purple, it was lovely, it made her feel at peace.

"Well, we are right. I'm always right, as you obviously know, and Carlos is your best friend, he could never lie to you, that's illegal". Y/N smile, that was true, her best friend was the most honest person she had ever met, and if there were two people in the world she trusted with her life, those were Lance and Carlos.

"Speaking of Carlos, I have something to tell you about this season". Lance could feel the tension in her voice so he fixed his position again, showing her that he was giving her his full attention. "Nelson, you know, the PR guy, he told me that I have to get into a PR relationship. He gave me two options: Carlos or Leclerc. Of course, I chose Carlos. I'd rather fake-date my best friend than Charles-stupid-Leclerc".

"You should let go of that anger, your beef with Charles was years ago, he's a nice guy". Lance rolled his eyes at his sister. Y/N and Charles fought after a karting race when they were 16 and never got along after that. He was unnecessarily mean to her and she always over-reacted. But to be fair to Charles, she did say to him that he had a small penis in front of the whole grid, and that can be really harmful for a teenage boy. The fact that everyone knew that they had hooked up once only made the accusation seem more reliable, humiliating Charles even more in front of their peers. To add to the feud, Y/N called him "Peanut" and he called her "Matagot", which is basically a south-french mythology monster that only treats you well if you keep it well-fed, otherwise it can be your biggest nightmare. It was Charles' way of calling her a spoiled brat, that only cares for others when she can get something in return.

"He's not nice. But I don't want to talk about him, I want advice. I have never been in a PR relationship before and you have. It's pretty uncomfortable to have to do this with Carlos, but I have to make it work".

Lance and Y/N spent their hour talking, he gave her advice on what to do and how to keep the friendship strong after having to be all over each other in public. It was going to be awkward, but her contract said that there were things she had to do to get a better public image and Carlos was a great way to keep things interesting. Drive to Survive, the Netflix series about the sport needed something to talk about, and a relationship between two drivers from different teams was perfect, and that's how she ended up trapped with a PR relationship. Around 10 pm, they got down the roof and made their way to their rooms. Before bed, Y/N checked her phone and found a text from her best friend.

Chili-man: Hey kiddo! I know that this is going to be awkward, but remember that we're best friends first, if you ever feel uncomfortable, you let me know and I'll do everything to help out. Okay?

Y/N: Thanks Chili-man. I love to know that you're always on my corner. You're the best. And the same goes for you. It's gonna be weird, but at least I'm not fake-dating Peanut.

Chili-man: Don't be mean, he's a nice guy.

Y/N: You and my brother need to stop being such Leclerc's advocates, I'm sure he can pay his own defense lawyers, you guys don't need to do it for free. Anyways, good night and I'll see you tomorrow for the first day!

Chili-man: I promise he's not that bad. But whatever. Sleep tight kiddo. I'll see you tomorrow.

The next morning, Y/N woke up to the sound of her father shouting and her mother begging him to lower his voice. Still half asleep, she walked to the door and cracked it open. Outside, she saw Lance peeking out of his own room and after sharing a puzzled look, they moved their attention to their father. He was at the end of the hall, at the door of his room, their mother was pulling at his arm, trying to pull him into the room without success. It was strange to say the least, that their mother interfered with their father's affairs, she had her own business to worry about, but she seemed actually worried about the discussion their father was taking part in over the phone.

"I SAID NO. I don't care about the numbers, I don't care about the stupid show. She's not dating Carlos Sainz Jr. She'll do that over my dead body!". Both Lance and her looked at each other. Why was he so upset? He loved the Sainz; he had been friends with Carlos Sainz Sr. for as long as they could remember. "I DON'T CARE IF IT'S FAKE".

"Honey, please, they'll hear you". Their mother tried to calm him down, but he was furious.

"THEN USE LECLERC, BUT SHE'S NOT DATING CARLOS AND THAT'S MY FINAL WORD". She definitely didn't like that last statement. Her father hung up and stormed into his room. It was her turn to be upset, she didn't want to date Charles Leclerc, fake or for real, it was a nightmare both ways. A little later that morning she tried to convince her father in her favor, but he was so angry that it was impossible to make his change his mind. Carlos texted her mid-day, while she was on the jet on her way towards Bahrain, asking her what happened and why his PR team told him that he was replaced by Charles. She didn't want Carlos to feel bad or inadequate in the eyes of her father, so she lied and said that she had no idea and that as soon as she had an answer for that, she would tell him. When she made it to Sakhir, she was told to leave her luggage at her room and then go back to the lobby so she could wait for a car there with Nelson. They had to meet with Charles and his team to discuss the details of the arrangement. It was a quiet car ride, Nelson was aware of what she thought of Charles and that the change had not been her decision, so he let her off the hook for a few minutes.

"Welcome, Miss Stroll, please have a seat". Kathy, Charles' PR head of the department greeted her when they made it to the hotel where Ferrari was staying. The room they used for the meeting was a last time arrangement, but it had space and it made her feel better, considering how bad things could get once Charles arrived.

"Thank you". She sat down on the couch and Kathy handed her a glass of water. They didn't have to wait much before Charles walked through the door. If it wasn't for her being completely aware of how much of a prick he was, she was sure that she could fall at his feet over and over again every time she saw him. He was the most handsome man on Earth, she knew that, but he was also aware of that so it posed a problem for her.

"Sorry I'm late, I wanted to shower after the flight". He sat on the bed of the room and looked at Y/N when she scoffed.

"Thank you for that! Now the only thing that stinks in this room is your shitty personality". Charles growled. They spent less than two minutes together, 2 meters apart, and they were already at each other's throats.

"I told you this was not gonna work". He told Kathy. "She's a spoiled little shit and I can't stand her close to me. The feeling is obviously mutual, why force this?".

"Because you're the perfect marketing option and it's our job-". Kathy pointed between her and Nelson. "- to make you both a selling machine. So you'll both make it work or your teams will reduce money from your salaries for breaching your contracts".

"That's not fair. I need my money and this Matagot doesn't give two shits about her contract, her Daddy is a billionaire, you're giving her all the power in the world over me!". Charles complained. He knew that she didn't need the money, she could make his life a living hell without a problem and he would have to take it all like a good boy not to lower his income.

"Suck it up, Peanut. Compensate that small pecker of yours by being the bigger person!". She was enjoying the moment.

"The itinerary is long. Read it, learn it and follow it". Nelson explained to ease up the tension. "Remember to be caring and loving, but do not overdo it. Kiss once in a while, hold hands while you walk together. We'll take care of the interviews and the press. Act the part for Netflix and we'll help you with the conflict for the show-".

"We don't need help with conflict". Charles interrupted.

"We need conflict, not first degree murder, Charles". Kathy sent them a stern look as she let the comment out and both drivers looked at their laps.

"Okay, I got it all. Can I go now?". She wanted nothing more than to get out of there.

That night she texted Carlos, and he told her something interesting: His PR team and his father told him to put some distance with her. They were both surprised, since when did their parents dislike the idea of them being friends? They had been friends their whole lives, close since they remembered. They were like siblings, why couldn't they be friends anymore? They understood the whole PR thing, that she needed to sell and that there was drama that had to occur between her and her fake boyfriend, but why did it all have to happen with Carlos at an arms' length? It was weird and she needed to know. It was hard enough that her father had controlled her whole life, she was already old enough to make her own decision. Why did he care so much about her friends? It wasn't like she was going to date Carlos for real. Carlos had his own questions, he was almost 30, his father was stepping over a line trying to control his life like that, but he respected his old man and he was going to listen, as long as the decision didn't prove to be hurtful for his best friend.

"I'm not kissing you". She said as soon as she met Charles at the lobby of her hotel. They were supposed to show up together for the first day at the paddock. Of course, she wanted to make it difficult for him. "I'm not doing the same stupid shit twice".

"You don't have to do me this time, Matagot". Charles hissed at her. "Plus, it's not like I will enjoy it so shut up and make this easy for everyone".

"I said-". But he cut her off with his lips over hers. As fast as he did it, he pulled away and before she could say anything, he was practically dragging her to his car.

The day went by incredibly slowly, but at some point she became numb to holding hands and kissing with Charles. They would kiss and she would instantly start talking about something racing related, like Lance suggested she do to get rid of the awkwardness. Charles seemed okay with that. What was actually bothering her more was the fact that she spent the whole day without talking to Carlos. Charles noticed her looking for his teammate a few times but decided to ignore the raging fire it started inside his veins. He hated the idea that he had to date her, but he dated more the idea of her dating Carlos. He wasn't surprised when Carlos told him that he was going to date Y/N as a PR stunt, what surprised Charles was that they weren't actually dating for real. He could never understand why the Spaniard would refuse to date a woman like her. Charles found Y/N the most amazing woman, when she was nice, and she was definitely nice to Carlos. The older man explained that he never felt like that about her and it never made sense to Charles, after all, he did feel that way about her when she used to be nice to him. But that was a decade ago, and she had never been nice once to him since that time. Still, he felt pleased that Carlos wasn't a threat. She may have looked around for him, and liked him over Charles, but he didn't reciprocate her feelings, so Charles was safe. He was torn between a need for her to love him and constant reaction of disgust to everything she said.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Peanut? There are no cameras here". She said when he appeared at her room door.

"We need to talk". He made his way inside the room and she sighed, already too tired to complain.

"What do you want to talk about?". He sat on her bed and she went to the couch, not wanting to be near him.

"Do you like Carlos?". He decided that dancing around the question was pointless and she was kind of thankful that he cut to the chase.

"That's none of your business, Charles"

"Well, but we are fake dating, and he's my teammate, so I need to know". Lie, that wasn't the real reason, and she knew, but she let it slide.

"I don't like Carlos that way". She saw the accusatory look on his face and explained further. "We're best friends. Something happened. I don't know what. I think our fathers may have something to do with it. He told me that we can't hang out much for now. It's weird".

"Does this have anything to do with us getting together?". 'Failed act', Freud would say.

"We're not together Charles, we can't stand each other". He could pick up on her tired tone, maybe it was the right time to finally get her out of her shell.

"We used to. I remember that time. We had a great moment". But what he thought was going to be a comment that made her happy, completely backlashes at him.

"A great moment?! That's what it was for you? Just a great time?". She stood up, tears at the corners of her eyes and Charles suddenly felt the need to get up and hold her. He didn't, though. "That's why you just simply walked out and ignored me then? Because I was just another good time for you?"

"What? No, how did you even get there?! I never said that!". Now he was the one in a defensive mood.

"Your actions speak better than your words. You ignored me, after everything we did together, after how vulnerable I was with you. I gave you my virginity and you simply threw me away!". She was fully on crying and Charles just could take it anymore, he got up and pulled her to his body, hugging her as tightly as he could.

"I was embarrassed. I felt like I did it like shit. I was stupid and had zero experience. I came so fast because I liked you so much. I thought I let you down". He wasn't sure if she heard him, his words muffed by her hair and his sobs. "I thought you had not enjoyed that moment as much as I did and it was embarrassing, because I loved every second of it. I wanted to talk to you but your parents kind of scared me off from the house the next morning. It felt like I had done everything wrong. Then we saw each other at the race and you were so cold that I believed I was right. You then said those things... I- I just didn't know what to do".

"I shouldn't have said that. I was hurt and felt humiliated, I was wrong". She was grabbing at him as tightly as he was at her.

"We both were". He kissed her head and they broke apart. "I never stopped thinking about you. I always wondered what we could have been...". He let that linger in the air, the possibility. She took his hand and led him to the bed. Her actions spoke better than her words.

They woke up the next morning to someone pounding on the door. Charles quickly fell asleep again, but Y/N got up to tell the person at the other side to get lost. She was surprised when she found Carlos on the other side. The man didn't even say hi, he walked into the room, pushing her inside with him and slamming the door shut. The noise woke Charles up again, this time he did get up, furious when he noticed that his teammate was grabbing his girlfriend's arms with a python's grip. Carlos looked worried, but it was mixed with a bit of anger and something else Charles couldn't decipher. It wasn't until he spoke up that Carlos actually noticed his presence.

"What the fuck are you doing?!". The monegasque walked towards him, and Carlos noticed the lack of clothing, the black Calvin Klein's hanging from Charles' hips were the only thing keeping him decent.

"You two...". He suddenly smiled. "It was about time. A decade. Never met two people this slow".

"You're on thin ice, mate". Charles said, sternly.

"Then you're not going to like what I'm going to say next". Carlos took a deep breath. "I need us to fake-date, Y/N. I want to pressure my father. I think he's planning on setting me up with someone. But if he thinks we're dating even though he said no, he'll leave me alone". She looked at Charles, he didn't seem happy with the idea, but she also wanted to find out why her father was so against Carlos so suddenly.

"If- IF I do it, do you think we can make it happen sometime when both our parents are there?". Charles looked down at her frowning. "Remember last night, when I told you that I didn't know what happened? I want to find out".

"I don't know, mon Ange". She took his hand and his face relaxed a bit. He used to call her that, when they were younger, it felt right.

"I need to know, something feels off. This is the reason why we are together now. Over ten years of history fixed by one phone call by my father". He let out the breath he was holding, she was right. "Please, everything happens for a reason, Charlie".

"Okay, let's do this".

They had to wait until after the race. Carlos Sr. and Lawrence, Lance and Y/N’s father, were sitting at the hotel restaurant, chatting with frowns on their faces. Carlos and Y/N held hands and walked towards them, Charles following them close behind. He had a part in the plan, and he was ready to execute it perfectly, even if it was harder for him to act mad at Y/N now that they had made up. The older men looked up at their children when the three drivers approached them. To say that they looked horrified would be an understatement. Carlos Sr. seemed about to throw up, while Lawrence was simply shocked. The first part of the plan was done, keeping the element of surprise. Now to phase two: the lie itself. They sat at the table, Carlos in the middle of Charles and Y/N, his hand interlocked with hers resting on the table so their fathers could see them. It took the older men a moment to get the color back to their faces, but when they did, Lawrence went from white to red in a second.

"What the hell is this?". He asked, trying to keep the little cool he had left.

"We're dating, Mr. Stroll. We wanted you both to know". Carlos was the oldest, he took the lead.

"You can't". Carlos Sr. said with his voice rough thanks to the lump in his throat.

"That's not your decision, Dad". Everything was going as expected, but they had to admit that their fathers did look more disturbed than they had foreseen.

"It is. You won't date Carlos, you will date Charles as it was planned by the PR team and I don't want to hear anything else about it". That was Charles’ cue.

"I won't date her if she's in love with my teammate. We can barely stand each other, I won't get stuck into this mess for her". It hurt, but he had to say it like that. The other two didn't budge, and they had to pull out the last resort they had to press their fathers' buttons. Y/N saw their mothers walking to the table, so she took Carlos by the chin and started to get closer to him, ready to kiss him. Before they could make contact, Carlos Sr. was pushing them away.

"You can't do that, don't do that". He was almost losing it.

"Why?". She whispered, her eyes looking into his and a chill ran down her spine.

"You're half-siblings". It was Lawrence who said it. There was a long list of options that Carlos and Y/N had made of what could have happened, being siblings was not on the list.

"What?". Charles was as stunned as them. Lawrence and Carlos Sr. sighed and rested against the backs of the seat. Their wives, paralyzed behind them, were still unnoticed by the rest of the table.

"I had an affair with Lawrence's assistant. Of course your mother didn't know about it". Carlos Jr. had an expression impossible to read as his hand gripped Y/N tightly. "She got pregnant, asked me to leave your mother. I refused. She had the baby, Y/N. But then she got postpartum depression. She killed herself three weeks after giving birth".

"Y/N, you mother had just lost a pregnancy, no one knew, I found you in that house, alone, crying. It was the chance to give your mother a baby after the one she lost". Lawrence continued.

"You had the power and money to make it happen". Charles was officially angry, and it wasn't even his identity on the line. "What did you do with her mother? Where is she buried?".

"She was cremated. I took care of everything. I gave her the best there is". Carlos Sr.'s wife was looking at Lawrence's with pain in her eyes. She knew, all this time she knew that they were raising her husband's offspring and she hid it from her.

"Why did you let us become friends?". It was Carlos Jr.'s time to ask. 

"I wanted to keep in contact with her, watch her grow. You two got along so well, she ended up liking racing too. Everything led to you two in my life". Carlos Sr. let a few tears free. "Ten years ago, we considered letting you know the truth".

"Your mother and I discussed it, but then we saw that Charles was in the house, we kind of got rid of him to talk to you, but then you looked so upset. You got disqualified from the race for fighting with Charles. We understood that you were going through a lot, so we desisted". Lawrence added.

Carlos Jr.'s mother made her presence known and the three drivers took the chance to run away from the situation, knowing that the argument the two couples had was going to be too much to witness. The three ran to Y/N's room, crossing paths with Lance on their way there. Telling Lance that his sister was not his biological sister was one of the worst conversations they had. But they were all victims of so much, they found solace in sharing the tears together. They refused their parents' calls for the night, sending a text explaining that they needed time and that they would reach out when they felt like it. The four of them stayed in the room, chatting and calming themselves down. The irony of it all struck Y/N like a lighting and she couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny, mon Ange?". Charles asked and then kissed the back of her hand.

"If my parents hadn't scared you off that morning, we would have never discovered the truth". She explained, but her brothers didn't follow. "Charles walking out on me that morning is the reason why we fought that day in the race. Because of the fight in the race, we started hating each other. Because of the rivalry, I choose to fake-date Carlos instead of Charles. Because of my choice, Dad made the call and everything else followed".

"So, if you and Charles had made up that day...". Carlos started.

"We would have probably been together today, no need for PR, no need for your fathers to say anything".  Charles finished. All four laughed softly. "I was so sad that things didn't work out back then".

"Everything happens for a reason".

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Okay, this is a LONG ASS STORY, sorry guys for not posting in months, I've been so caught up with work I literally thought I could get fired, but I had some time to edit this one. I hope you liked it. Remember to like, comment, reblog and all those beautiful things you do.

#charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc one shot #charles leclerc x reader

[prettyboyjohnny]

NANCY VOICE LINE TRANSCRIPT 🥩

I did it again. Based on this [x] video.

>Johnny's voicelines<

Notes:

• The game subtitles suck. I used them as a guide for some lines, but otherwise disregarded them.

• The line about about pregnancy has yet to activate for me in game. I think a few of these lines may be switched off.

• I collected the execution lines myself. They are not present in the linked video.

Thanks!

VOICELINES

Encounter start

How dare you attack me like this!

You little shit! How dare you!

Don't you touch me!

Get your filthy hands off my clean clothes!

[Grunts] You're gonna pay... Dearly for this.

Exit interaction

Ain't gonna be no escapin' today.

Just like a damn stranger. No respect for other people's property.

...There. That's better.

This will keep them from scurrying around.

I wish y'all would stop messin' with our damn belongin's. This damn thing's as old as dirt.

Grandpa fed

This house ran much better when you was runnin' things.

I always did like you.

You ain't lookin' too bad these days!

I could use some of this myself.

Next time I'll cook you a nice, proper meal.

Hidden victim found

Now what are you doin' in there?

[Laughs] Now this is just plain damn silly... Come on outta there.

We ain't playin' no hide and seek, you hear me?

What exactly is it you think you're doin' in there?

[Laughs] Oh, child, I'm snappier than you think.

Victim hit

This will slow you down!

[Laughs]

Does that. Hurt. Sweetie?!

Idle

Don't you think I know what you come here lookin' for?

My Harold always said: "If you can't do something right, don't do it at all." Now come get your punishment!

Just in case you was thinkin' a' doin' so, I'd stay out of my secret room if I was you.

It didn't have to be this way, ya know... You just had to come looking for that floozy of yours, didn'tcha?

My goodness... This is gettin' old real fast.

Lose Victim (first)

You ever been down to Devil's River? Oh, It's real nice... Maybe I'll show it to ya.

This type a' behavior tends to occur when you go moseying' around other people's homes!

Nobody ever said life was fair.

You ever hear the sayin' "murder starts in the heart"? I think my Johnny liked that girl.

I was pregnant six times, you know? I wanted a little baby so bad... Then God delivered Johnny. My own little angel.

Lose victim (sub)

Hard times is good for people. I know how to raise 'em... Just look at my Johnny!

I am a suitable mother! Don't you judge me!

Don't you EVER use that tone with me! Do you have any notion who you're talkin' to?

Your little friend had it coming... Looking at my Johnny that way. He's a sweet boy!

Do you know what happens to bodies when you plant 'em? [Laughs] They help the flowers real good!

Lose victim (long)

I haven't had a chase like this in some time.

Squirmin' li'l bastards! Where did you go?!

Just come on out now... Ain't no use in delayin' things.

I have all day, darlin'... You'll mess up soon enough.

Match start

[Sighs] We ain't big on unannounced guests. I ain't gonna take kindly to this trespassin'.

Don't worry, Johnny. I'll help you clean this mess up.

Oh, will you look at that... I didn't know we had visitors.

This is unacceptable behavior.

I ain't never seen such disrespectful behavior in all my life.

Cook seen

You are a damn fool! Always have been!

I thought you had this situation under control! This is unacceptable!

Will you tell them boys of yours to do somethin' already?

Don't you tell me how to raise my boy. Just do your job!

Would you make yourself useful already? ...My Lord!

Hitchhiker seen

You was raised better than this! Will you please go look after Grandpa?! Help him!

I hope you know our well-bein' ain't looking too promising right now?!

You better hope for your sake we get this sorted out!

Damn it, boy... I wish you would use that head of yours already... FIND. THEM.

Would you settle the hell down and help us already?

Johnny seen

Aw, Johnny, my sweet... Don't you worry about all this. We'll fix it... I promise.

Listen to me, Johnny. It's time to do what I taught you to do, okay? Can you do that? For me?

We gotta find them, sweetie. We can't let them leave. Do you understand me?

Just be patient, Johnny. We'll find 'em.

Remember them folks from Tulsa, Johnny? This is just like that. Just spread out and keep huntin'.

Leatherface seen

Well, don't just stand there! Let's see what that saw can do, boy!

You're doin' fine, sweetie.

Just keep lookin'. This will be over soon!

Don't worry about the others, now. Just keep doin' your job. Everything's fine.

Imma need you to find those kids right quick, okay? You can do this.

Grandma would be SO proud of you. Such a strong, handsome boy!

Sissy seen

How dare you use that tone with me, you little heathen!

Things were better off when you was gone. You shoulda kept it that way.

Don't you speak to me like that. You have no idea the things I've done for this family!

Don't you dare talk about my husbands like that. Devil girl.

I'd keep that poison away from me if I were you. You hear me, young lady?

See blood trail

Oh, my... Somebody's hurtin' real bad... Hmm.

Well look at that... Somebody's not doing so good.

THAT is a lot of blood... They gotta be around here somewhere.

[Chuckles]... Looks like we got you now. Let's see where this goes.

Aww, you ain't gonna last much longer, darlin'. I can see you ain't doin' so well.

Victim seen (first)

Oh hey there, sweet child. I can help ya. Just come over here.

Oh, don't leave! You're just in time for supper!

They gon' find that pretty little face of yours under my floorboard if you ain't careful.

You better stay outta my garden.

You will not disrespect our home like this, you hear me?

Now where are you squirmin' off to?

Victim seen (sub)

There's things in this house I just can't let you see, darlin'.

Aw, I am sorry to tell you this, but ain't none of y'all getting outta here alive.

This constant runnin' around is gettin' a little tiresome now.

Where is it exactly you think you're goin'?

Family member seen

You just gonna stand there with that stupid look on your face? Do somethin' already!

If it ain't too much to ask, WOULD YOU MIND HELPIN' ME OUT HERE?

FIND THEM ALREADY! I swear, it's like playin' cards with my brother's kids!

Under NO circumstance would it be acceptable for these kids to leave here! So spread out and search, please!

You know what needs to be done... So do it!

See trapped victim

All this pain could've been avoided, you know.

Oh, are you hurt? Come let Nancy take a look at it.

Looks like you peaked, child. You ain't gonna last much longer.

Poor thing... It's better if you just get this over quick-like. No use in struggling'.

Phew... Not quite my tempo. Glad to see that slowed you down.

See victim escape

Dear lord... This can't be happening. No!

Oh, damn it! I need to catch 'em... Think... THINK!

Oh, Lord, we are in the fire now! How did this happen?!

Ability use denied

[Sighs] Not now... This is simply too much to handle...

I can't... Not quite yet.

[Grunts] I can't do that right this minute.

Ugh, this isn't working!

Use ability

I'll find you... I promise.

Now where... Did... You... Go?

They couldn't've gone too far.

I know they're here... Somewhere...

Set trap

This oughta stop 'em.

Trap successful

Oh, I done got you now.

Got one.

There you are!

Well, I'll be. Look at what we have here.

Gotcha!

Execution

[Groans] We get what we deserve!

Now look what you've gotten yourself into! [Breathes heavily]

I told ya! Stay away from my Johnny! [Breathes heavily]

[Groans and breathes heavily]

[Last updated March 2024]

#cas took that screenshot :] i crop images into jpgs before i upload them bc im a b bad man (honest) #black nancy #nancy slaughter #tcm #tcm game #txchainsawgame #texas chainsaw massacre #subjectspeaks #transcript #queue #mommy

[tunahaswares]

- Lucien Flavius headcanons .

Lucien is book smart but absolutely not people smart. if you ask if he's flirting with you when he talks to you the first time, he stammers over his words and makes it sound *even worse*, which is so dorky and adorable to me. He knows a lot about history and random facts about the Dwemer, but he doesn't know how to adapt that knowledge to people. I mean, what he knows doesn't even begin to translate to socializing.

But he's still so naturally charismatic in a silly goofy way. He sings songs, does rhyming games with Inigo, tells you scary stories by the fire, etc etc. He has RIZZ he just doesn't know how to use it. or that it even exists.

(This man giggles and tells me I made him blush and I'M FUMBLING SO HARD IM TAKING SCREENSHOT AFTER SCREENSHOT- he did a little idle pose where he tilted his head and I squawked like a bird in shock.)

and his REACTION when you activate the lover stone.... whatever he says, he ends it with "not that I... ah..." like he's gonna say "not that I'm not interested in you!" or whatever. I forget the specifics of what he said, but he's saying the stone is better for the player and not for him, and is just generally embarrassed. I'd wager he's never been in a relationship before. He's always been study study study, books books books. And daydream daydream DAYDREAM.

Good lord his head's in the clouds sometimes. He's also confident in a weird way? Like he has self doubt, evident by how he asks Inigo "do you think I'm useful?". But when you kill your third dragon with him, he makes an off handed comment and calls your team "team Lucien". so he definitely has a fully fed ego from his very loving parents who gave him EVERYTHING. It's not like he ever asked his parents for dating advice, though. He never thought he'd need it!

So here he is, fumbling and turning bright red as he tries to convey his feelings.

"Well... you see, what I wanted to talk to you about was, I think I'm... No, I know I'm- would that even be the right word? I do really like you but can I even call it that? i-"

and he goes on and on. Can he say it? can he just say he's in love? isn't that a strong word?the poor guy is losing it.

I'ma just kiss him to shut him up fr fr

anyways.

He's totally a little spoon. He's barely even toned. Skinny and short, he needs to be protected and kept warm! Skyrim is a harsh land, very cold! He over thinks romantic gestures though. and affection.

He wants to hold your hand but "oooh is that okay? should he ask or would that be weird? but you're so stunning illuminated by the campfire... maybe he wants to kiss you instead - NO too much!" It gets him blushing just thinking about making a move like that!!!!

Oftentimes he will ask and need to be reassured he's doing the right thing by asking, or told he doesn't have to ask. depending on personal preference, ofc.

He's a darling angel. Don't worry, he gains confidence overtime! He can kiss you on the cheek and not feel like he's gonna explode! he still gets embarrassed, especially if you tease him over it.

"Aawww, still in love with me, Flavius?"

"Oh gods, not this again..."

You could never annoy him, even if his tone says otherwise. He gets frustrated being teased, but that's just overcooked embarrassment if you think abt it.

Loves pda but would never admit it... he feels comforted by it, just as long as it's not too much.

Hold his hand or wrap your arm around his waist. Bonus points if you do this while in windhelm. hates that fucking city, but LOVES showing u off to the Nords... look he's dating the fucking last dragonborn and ur not... who's the milk drinker now huh bitch???

Lucien loves to just relax after a long day. Reading to you is his favorite. He'll even try to cook dinner for the both of you if you're too tired after a whole days worth of preventing dragons from singing his ass.

As you fall asleep, head resting on his lap as he reads to you, Lucien will silently stroke your face and close his book.

And just… sit there. Admiring you. How did he ever get so lucky? You've saved him more time than he could count… He hopes his love is enough to repay you for that.

----------------

wrote this on discord in midst of a ramble lol. Y'all deserve it tho

#elder scrolls #skyrim #lucien flavius #Lucien #the elder scrolls #skyrim mods #skyrim lucien #lucien x reader #lucien flavius x reader

[gizkasparadise]

watched the last ep of arthdal! overall, a lot better than i thought it was going to be:

ladies doing it!!!! karika, taealha, nunbyeol, and tanya were all great in this ep

a lot less people died than i thought :'D

the sun's out gun's out reveal of eunseom being aramun was hilarious to me, but ALSO in that vein i think the most intriguing thing about s2 was the sort of manufacturing of myth--the show might have been a lot better if it stayed more grounded in that regard (characters having to rely on information and wit to stay in front of the story) vs. the actual mysticism/deus ex machina that routinely happened

you're gonna give me a saya villain arc where lee joon gi gets to go full unhinged-!!!

AS THE FUCKING STINGER FOR A SEASON 3 THAT WILL NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also i guess thank god he decided to wear his highly reflective necklace that day otherwise?????

im still laughing at how yangcha/tanya shippers got fed this season. tanya when her dad dies: omg no dad sad :(; tanya when yangcha is threatened: I WILL CUT OFF MY HEAD RIGHT NOW DONT TEST ME

(also hello im converted, yangcha/tanya were the best ship this season i said what i said)

loved that taealha's big Character Journey was realizing that she has to respect the power and influence of myth even if she doesn't believe in it, as the most consistent skeptic throughout the series

overall i'd give the second season a 6 or 7/10. acting was good, and there were a few really great moments, but too much focus on ago tribe, tagon's ridiculous survivability in the backhalf (rip), funky pacing, and them not knowing really what to do with saya after all that s1 build up killed it for me. taealha and tanya were also really underused this season (although last 2 eps did some work to rectify that)

#kdrama #arthdal chronicles

[zukosasukelovebot]

I did a little drabble because it wouldn't get out of my head

Here's a little zuuki

Story under more

Story here 'three's a party' if you want to read on a03

Zuko knew he was gay. From the age of 13 onwards. From the way he would look at the older men in his fathers guild to the disapproving sounds his father made when he caught him told him so.

So it was to his utter surprise when he found himself crushing on his boyfriend's girlfriend. 

….

Zuko and Sokka had been going out for at least a year when he brought up the idea of an open relationship. 

"I mean… I still love you obviously but I would like to bring a third person in. I love you but I know you have hard nos that are my yes's and it's just… I'd like to fill up those gaps?"  Sokka said, scratching his neck in embarrassment.  

Zuko looked at him, his eyes wide until understanding took over him. He knew he deprived him of some stuff, specifically sex. Zuko hated anyone touching him sexuality,  Sokka included. But he knew Sokka was an incredibly touchy person and touch was his love language. He knew he was depriving him of it and he sighed gently. He wanted Sokka to feel loved and if he had to put up with some random person being added he didn't see  why he had to disagree. 

"Alright," he said finally.

Sokka's eyes lit up and Zuko knew he had made the right choice.

….

Meeting Suki for the first time was nerve wracking.  A powerful woman in her own right. She had a smile anyone could fall for and Zuko  understood why Sokka was so smitten with her. 

He couldn't bring himself to hate her, not when she gave him massages when she saw he was tense or fed him delicious meals when it was just them at home.  He tried, god he tried to hate her but he couldn't.

…..

It was a day when just Suki and Zuko were home alone, Sokka away on a business meeting.

"You know…" Zuko began. "I thought I would be jealous, watching you kiss Sokka or having to share our bed with you…but… I see how happy you make him," he said nibbling his lip. "I fear I'm not what he wants anymore."

Suki's green eyes widened in surprise and then softened. She nudged Zuko's shoulder and then smiled. "He talks about you alot you know. He loves that you let him ramble. Or when you two paint together you never tell him his paintings are bad-"

"Because they're not,"  Zuko interrupted, his face flushed.

Suki laughed. "You're so smitten for him and so is he for you. Don't you dare think otherwise."

Zuko smiled and looked away. "Yes. ma'am."

…

"We should kiss,"  Suki says one day to Zuko.

He's painting and his brush slips and he yells as the water he used to clean his brush spills onto his painting, creating a blob.

"Shit,"  Suki said, reaching over to help.

Zuko's head snaps up. He didn't realise how close they were when he locked eyes with her. 

His breathing was heavy. What did she mean by kiss? He was gay why would she -oh.

He didn't even notice when he leaned in to kiss her, his fingers reaching for the back of her neck to pull her closer.

She hummed in satisfaction as she reached to untie Zuko's bun, letting his long hair cascade down his shoulders. Oh how she loved it long.

They kissed for a moment longer before Zuko parted, his eyes wide.

"I…I.."

She smiled gently. "Might not be as gay as you thought you were?"

His eyes traveled to her lips and then to her eyes. "What do I do?" He asked, sounding lost.

Suki reached for his cheek and cupped it gently. "You allow it to happen. I think Sokka would actually be into it ," she said with a wink. 

She leaned to kiss him again when said boyfriend walked into the room. Zuko tried to pull away but Suki was strong. 

"Oh. I was wondering when you'd finally let it out,"  Sokka laughed. 

Zuko finally managed to let go of Suki. His lips were swollen and his cheeks were flushed. 

Sokka laughed again. "You look perfectly debauched, Zuko."

Zuko flushed deeply and looked away. 

"Does that mean we're like…. All boyfriends and girlfriends?"  Sokka asked.

"I dunno, that's for Zuko to decide," she said, looking at the shy man in front of her.

She saw him breathe in before speaking. "If I say yes will both of you leave so I can clean up my painting?"

Sokka whooped and rushed forward to kiss Zuko and then Suki.

Zuko rolled his eyes. He has never felt more loved than in that moment. 

#zuko #zukka #sokka #zuuki #zuukifanfic #bisexualsokka #asexualzuko

[artificial-ascension]

I want to chalk some of the stupidity around things they very much taught you in public school up to said public school. Just a little bit. Because there are people who really just don't care to learn in the public school environment and alot of what we do learn is... dicy at times. History and science specifically. I was taught my whole school career that the native American and the colonists were friends until I was ducking 14 and while I cared to unlearn alot of what I had been taught I knownother people didn't. And obviously that's on them but I'd also want to shame the system a bit for giving us the ideas in the first place. Propaganda runs strong in the U.S.A. and the school system definitely reflects that at times. Vast majority of "world" history we're taught is about western Europe save for the occasional lesson avout some ancient culture, teachers are people and obviously going to have biases but sometimes their biases do affect the lesson especially when dealing with American war crimes. I think alot of kids who don't care worht a damn just take what they think is right according to the propaganda they've been spoon fed their whole lives and run with it and that's how we end up in situations where a kid tells me Russia was an axis power and America had never done anything bad unlike those dirty commies in East Asia and when corrected blames it on the teacher (and while I can comfirm the teacher did in fact suck I had the same teacher and still knew otherwise). I think it's that same attitude that leads kkds to suffer in English and science classes. They have no real drive to learn or think for themselves. I don't think out of malice, but just because they don't want to be there. No one ever bothered to explain to them why knowing bacic science or reading comprehension was important and now you have people making insane crack theories or just being wrong about how the world works because they couldn't be bothered to learn anything from their 10th grade biology class blaming everything on whoever they get their information from tells them too because they couldn't be bothered to actually participate in an English class. And a good portion of these people will blame it on the school system because it's an easy target but that dose not excuse the fact that they still remain ignorant on the subject. Yes the school system is awful, yes alot of what we learn is given to us in a way that we're almost definitely going to forget it in a year but god forbid if you're going to speak on a subject please do research, if you can't remeber something don't say 'I didn't learn this in school' because your probably did and just don't remember because it was one lesson you were taught 10 years ago that you barely remembered just to pass a test. It's reasonable that you have forgotten because that's the actual issue with thw school system and it's your job to remedy the situation with a simple fucking internet search*. Please do not bring your personal short commings into a serious conversation about the pitfalls of the U.S. school syetm. The fact that you don't know shit is the schools fault, the fact that you won't actually try and learn is yours.

*Note that internet research may be wosre than what the school is teaching you. Google is designed to sell you things so be careful amd honestly just use Firefox, trust .gov and .org over .com, check Wikipedias sources. Simple internet searh edicate. You did in fact learn this in school and I can garentee someone on the internet is willing to teach you.

#ranting again just igrnore me tehe

[mirceakitsune]

Tales from a spirit that could not be broken

For the most part I've stopped making journals like this. Something happened a few days ago that has been stuck in my mind and kept pushing me to write those thoughts down. Even when I know it addresses an audience alien to myself and beings that are fundamentally different… 99% of people reading this will likely not get close to getting it. And I try not to belittle anyone in saying so, it's just a rational realization in knowing how things stand: It's not to consider myself better, better or worse are subjective terms… I'm just someone that exists in different ways and to serve different purposes. But at least for my own sake and the feeling pushing me since, I will write it.

About a week ago we celebrated the resurrection based on the Romanian Orthodox Easter. It may surprise some to hear this, but I am in fact going to church on occasion at least during the Easter celebrations… now that after years of living under the lies fed by a compromised religion, I better understand who / what God truly is and that he has nothing to do with the caricature painted by this culture. On the night of the resurrection of Christ, what they call the miracle flame comes on in Jerusalem… not gonna debate whether this flame is just another human trick or a breach in the veil that higher beings have allowed to occur, my rational mind is still thorn yet open. The flame is flown to other Orthodox nations by plane which includes churches in Romania, at midnight local priests offer it to people around the church to light their own candles, which then pass it on until everyone lights theirs and goes home with it.

In my case I do this with my mother and some old family friends: After we light our candles we typically go and visit them for a few hours, picking colored eggs to smash against each other then eating them as is done traditionally. We spent a few hours chatting about various things… from normal stuff we all agree on, to friendly arguments on worldly stuff that would get me banned in ghettos like Furaffinity for merely mentioning them again. The fact that me and my mother are from a version of reality parallel to the world some of our friends diverged into isn't what I want to get into right now, at least not in terms of what I'd typically rant about; It's another discussion that emerged from those arguments that relit a fire with me.

At some point my friend told me that in life, you need to go with what you're told and do what you gotta do to put food on the table, how what matters before anything else is having what to eat and drink to survive. I told him I'd happily rather die than live like a robot, that I don't care to survive at any cost, that I will be here as long as existence wants and allows me to then move on. He replied that you have to live as a robot in order to survive and it's foolish to think otherwise, giving me all the serious and rational sounding tropes I've heard so long ago. There was no point in upsetting him, as with most such things we agree to disagree… he's a good being and I'm happy to know him regardless, at this point I'm not even upset at him at all it is who he is; I left it be, yet it's not something I could put behind in my own mind.

This brought back memories from my teen self, back when I once went out with the few friends I ever interacted with: I remembered how instead of even saying "hello" to me, most would introduce themselves by asking "what is your specialty and what will you do in life"… I remembered how alien it felt and how it repulsed me. Our conversation was a reminder of two things: That I don't belong here regardless of the reasons for which I was sent, and that humanity will never change on its own but forever be the life form they are since thousands of years ago. Humans are animals, who at worst live for survival and at best for simple purposes… somewhat domesticated and with complex brain power (far too complex for what they should have) yet choosing to remain mere creatures of this world in making no attempt to surpass the illusion created by their minds. As I said the goal isn't for me to be a butt and get off to belittling others, but to a great extent it's not something I can avoid: It's impossible that I could lie and pretend I don't know it, when merely seeing what they are and feeling its energy is like the soul equivalent of drinking rat poison. It's not something I can use words to explain further; You'd need to experience it to know… I suspect only a handful can get close to truly knowing why I'm saying this, maybe I'm wrong in this assumption and there are others out there but if there's one thing I know it's we're incredibly few. Among the rest I'm well aware most will happily interpret this to convince themselves I'm as crazy as they already believed… and you know what? I think I prefer it that way and it makes it all the more fun!

Know what makes me smile in the face of the misery and tragedy that is your world? The fact that I beat it… I already won. You see… it doesn't matter what your culture, your governments, your police forces may or may not do to me; For at least 20 years you tried your best, yet you could not break me, and in the end you never will. The war was first and foremost for our minds and souls: You tried to shut down open communications so none that is different and could pose an inconvenience would risks remembering themselves… tried to scrub even art off the face of the web hoping I'd forget myself and what I resonate with whenever you felt there's something you couldn't control me over… endlessly echoed the same lies in a hall of mirrors hoping they inevitably become truth with enough voices screaming them… as all that failed and you failed to make me feel guilty just for existing, the last resort was to kick me out of any place I frequent or relied on to eliminate the danger you decided my existence posed. Yet in spite of the worst your evil could throw within the limits of this day and age, I'm still here and never once gave in. The most your crying army could do is making me live in a different time… part of me still in the early 2000's with the creativity and false hope we had back then, another part in a future that may never exist or be decades ahead of the present time… what can I say it's fun to be a time traveler.

The reality is that unlike them, I have seen the light… a light most will go their entire lives without even comprehending, at best they lost the memory the first few years after biological birth. You feared me because the existence I remember disturbs the comfort of the darkness you live in, in a handful of cases the systems of power some rely on to continue playing God with the rest. The most evil are disguised as the kindest of them all, yelling of how they love you and just want to keep you safe as they bite their tongues to hide how badly they want to make you serve them. The sincere but naive think you fought for something great because you glued yourself to a highway to protest the pollution of some oil company… easy to be a hero when you do what your peers are doing and everyone has your back, often after the media rather than your own heart decided on the little momentary cause you're fighting for. You hide those empty lives behind more and more fake complexity, using ever advanced toys or scientific concepts to make the nothingness seem as something extraordinary. So logical and scientific they never bothered to look up something called universal law, the thing observable science is based on and emerges from… among many things it includes something called free will, a rule they've raped to hell and back during the past years thinking there would be no consequences whatsoever. Black is white, up is down, cold is warm… the dinner keeps on going as everyone stuffs their faces with whatever is left, commenting on how good each food tastes and the fancy details behind how it was made, floating in a void where nothing exists beyond the table as the table chairs and everyone attending slowly sink into the chasm of shit.

I don't know what exactly will happen from here on: I don't have access to information about the most likely course of events this world is about to take. What I do know based both on what I see happening in the open and means that never let me down, is that the party's about to be over soon and it's not gonna be pretty; What's coming will be unpleasant for everyone, even I won't escape it either since the approaching trainwreck is global. But it's a necessary step, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Today's world exists in error, a still medieval society possessing modern technology it can't even understand or handle… this is not what 2020 and beyond were meant to be, fundamentals that are decades overdue were kicked down the road till the can can't be kicked any further and the pile comes crashing down.

I'm not going to say more of what I know or think or believe: I've already given enough ammo to certain people… then again me caring what others think has been one of the things I myself had to get past, as such it's all in good practice. But what I did want to say is how happy I am throughout any and all of the depression… that in spite of an entire world that's been not only alien but hostile, I won for both myself and others who come from the same patch of existence as myself: Once this momentary spectacle of an existence is inevitably over, it's what I'm taking with me and going back to… a temporary existence I will also triumph over anyway. I know you have no idea what I actually am, which is logical as for all those years I became an expert in knowing how to stay silent and act like everyone else; I still have fun wondering how various people will react, between the ones who would embrace it and those who'd fight or flee and the ones who simply wouldn't give a damn… as time goes on I care less and less still: Jesus had to deal with far worse when he faced humanity's true nature on the cross, so did priests tortured in Communist prisons even here in my country during the very year I was born… when did they even know how to give up? When you remember you're not the pile of flesh you see in the mirror and your time here is a temporary illusion where things don't happen at random, it's a far more detached view of the horrifying fire raging below when you look down, even when some try to make it so bad it gets to anyone every once in a while.

[lokiondisneyplus]

Holy crap. Look at Kate Herron's shirt. When the Loki director pops up on Zoom, she's donning the most glorious image anyone will see since we laid eyes on Alligator Loki: A Teletubby wearing the Loki horns. Are the Teletubbies Loki variants? Sure, why not!

"I got it on Instagram," Herron says. "There's an amazing comic book artist and he designed it. He made it into a T-shirt for me because I saw it and was like, 'That's incredible. Can I get it for the press junket?'"

Herron, no big deal, just pulled off an MCU miracle. Entering a mammoth franchise with, notably, some of Sex Education's best episodes under her belt, the director deftly brought a plot involving multiverses and Richard E. Grant in a cape and superhero mumbo-jumbo to brilliant, beautiful life. Following Loki's tear-jerking, mind-bending finale, the series has been dubbed by critics and fan's alike as one of Marvel's best efforts—which is no small feat. Of course, we needed to ask Herron how she stuck the landing. Following the most epic finale you, me, or any Teletubby can remember, Herron talked to Esquire about the Miss Minutes jump scare, filming the finale's introduction of He Who Remains, and why she won't return for Season Two of Loki.

ESQ: How are you doing?

KH: I'm good. I think I feel very relieved that I don't have to sit on the secret of He Who Remains anymore, It was a very big secret to hold, but for an important reason, right? Because it's such a good character to be launching. So yeah, I feel good.

ESQ: Loking back at your old interviews, you have such a good poker face when you're avoiding spoilers, but you're also incredible at giving aggregator crumbs.

KH: I play a lot of board games, so you need to be quite good at strategy and poker faces so people can't always read your hand. So I think weirdly board games have prepared me more for working with Marvel than anything else.

ESQ: I have to start with the Miss Minutes jump scare. What went into the decision to make her a memeable, creepy apparition in that moment?

KH: I love horror, and my executive, Kevin Wright, knew that. Me and him were talking about Episode Six and I remember that he was like, "Oh, maybe you could do something creepy of Miss Minutes." And I immediately was like, "We have to do a jump scare!" Because I haven't got to do a good jump scare in anything yet and I really wanted to, because a lot of my friends are horror directors. I was like, "I can't let them down." So I was really excited to have a shot at doing a jump scare. And Miss Minutes, it was really fun testing it because we'd kind of bring different people into the edit, me and Emma McCleave, the editor, and we'd just play it for them, watch them, and check that they were jumping when we cut it.

ESQ: One thing that I think is getting missed in all the craziness is that we see a peak moment of the love story between Loki and Sylvie. Where does the finale leave the companionship that they found in each other?

KH: When I started the show, that was always in the DNA of it—that Loki was going to meet a version of himself and they were going to fall in love. And that's honestly what drew me into the story, because I directed Sex Education. I love stories about self-love and finding your identity and your people. Loki is such a broken character when we join him, and seeing him go on this amazing journey with all this growth and finding the good points of himself in seeing her—I think that was very beautiful. It's also paying respect to the fact that Sylvie's in a very different place to him. She hasn't had the Mobius therapy session. She even says, in Episode Five, "I don't know how to do this. I don't have friends." You really feel for her because she has been on the run and her whole life has been this mission.

It's almost funny because these characters are thousands of years old, but it's almost teenage the way they both talk about their feelings for each other. I think everyone can relate to that, right? In any new relationship, there's always that kind of awkwardness and like, "Oh God, am I too keen? The important thing was the hope—like when Sylvie and him kiss, I think it is genuine and it is coming from a place of these feelings they have for each other. Obviously she does push them through that door, but for me it was a goodbye and it was with heart. But it's kind of a goodbye in the sense of like, I care about you, but I'm going to do my mission because that's where I'm at.

ESQ: I would pay for you to direct the Sex Education episode where Otis falls through a portal into the multiverse, into the main MCU.

KH: He really looks like a Loki as well, which is so funny. I always thought that. I was like Asa does look like a Loki. It didn't come to pass or anything, but it would be interesting to do a Sex Ed-Marvel crossover. I wonder who all the different characters would be within the MCU, but it would be quite funny.

ESQ: You're right, he could pull off a teenage Loki.

KH: Yeah, like a teen or a very young ’20s, maybe. But it was just funny because I was like, "Oh yeah, he looks a bit like Tom." I wonder how they could do it. I'm sure they'll find a way to do a crossover anyway.

ESQ: Can you just take me back to filming with Jonathan Majors? And you capturing him in such a compelling, quirky, scary way—I'm sure your direction was such a big part of that.

KH: I was just so excited because Jonathan is an actor that everyone was so excited about. He's like a chameleon in everything he does and he's so talented. I just feel as a director so lucky to have worked on this because I feel like I've got to work with some of the best actors out there. And when you're with Jonathan, you know you're in the presence of just someone really magnificent. For me as a director, it's giving him the space to play and feel safe. Because we filmed it all in a week, but it was a lot to film in a week. So I think it was really about creating a space where he could have fun and find this character because he's going to be playing him for a long time.

ESQ: What went into the decision to introduce us to the good guy first?

KH: I remember in the script, he comes up the elevator and it was so casual. I was like, "Oh man, that's so fun." And then Jonathan, when he plays it, he's relaxed. And I the thing he used to talk about a lot was that this is a character who's been on his own for a long time. Because at the beginning, we introduced him in a space in the universe that feels like this very busy, loud place, but actually, when we see the Citadel, he's surrounded by the Timeline and he's very isolated. Even in his costume with [designer] Christine Wada, for the idea of his outfit, he's a character who's existed for multiple millennia. So it's like, OK, let's pull from lots of different places so you can't necessarily pin down which time or which place he might be from. Also the fact that his clothes look comfy. They were like pajamas because he's living at home. He loved the idea of the office [being] the only finished part of the citadel and that the rest of the citadel was like this Sunset Boulevard kind of dusty, dilapidated space. And just again showed that he probably just keeps himself to his office. All those elements definitely fed into Jonathan's performance in terms of balancing the extrovert, but also the introvert of someone that would be living by themselves and only talking to a cartoon clock.

ESQ: It really is incredible how you pull a nail-biting finale with this battle of wits and dialogue.

KH: It was really exciting because I feel like Episode Five was a lot of fun because we got to play into all the joy of the different versions of Loki, but also just the fact that it was our big usual Marvel third act, right? Like it was where our big spectacle was as they were fighting this big monster. But I love that our finale bookends, right? We began with a conversation and we ended with one.

ESQ: I also loved that there was no end-credits scene—I think it makes the ending that much more impactful. Was there ever an end credit scene on the table, or any kind of a stinger?

KH: I think no, because weirdly, we never went after the kind of mid-credit sequences. I think we always just were thinking just of the story and where we knew we wanted it to end. For example, Episode Four, originally Loki was deleted and then we went straight to him waking up. And it was only in the edit I was like, “I think it'd be really cool actually. We should move that scene to mid-credits because then we'll really feel like Loki has died." Because if I watched that moment and then it went to the credits, I'd be like, "What?!" And then when we were talking about the best way to talk about Season Two, we were like, "Okay, well, let's do that like a little mid-credits at the end because that is exciting to confirm it in that way." I'd say we found both of those in the edit just because we wanted to kind of do it right and have a fun nod to something that Marvel does so well.

ESQ: Is there anything you can tell about the future of the story you've told here—or even where you personally would like to go with the studio or otherwise going forward?

KH: Yeah, so I'm just on for Season One. So I'm so proud of the story we told. I mean, it was amazing getting to set up the TVA and take Loki on this whole new journey. And I mean, I think we've left so much groundwork for his character, and as people see in the comics, there's so much more to be delved into. And I just am excited honestly to just see where all the characters go. Like, who is B-15? What did she see in those memories and where did Ravonna go and where is Loki? I think for me, we've set up these questions and I look forward to seeing them being answered as a fan in the next season.

ESQ: Absolutely. Well, can we please work on the Asa Butterfield Loki?

KH: I will call him and I'll be like, "You want to do some crazy Marvel crossover?"

#Kate Herron #loki #season 1 #director #interview

[diamondcitydarlin]

Ok I swear to god I'm not trying to rag on asexuality or anyone who is asexual today, in fact I'm talking this much about it because I care about the validity of asexuality and how it is represented on a mainstream platform and I have seen multiple things in SEVERAL fandoms today that are making alarm bells go off in my head and you know what fuck it, we've been ignoring the underhanded propaganda, talking points that have been fed through the internet by the alt-right for too long and look where we are? It's the argument about 'queer' all over again.

I saw many things, but specifically I saw in a discussion where someone was wondering why a show keeps dancing around addressing a character's sexuality (in a show where it has been hinted at but never touched- we ALL know) and several people responded "well what if they're ASEXUAL? I think they're asexual. It's great asexual representation :)"

And like, okay, that is a valid and good interpretation of the situation and I know I for one would love if that is the case, but as the subject material stands now is it really good representation? Is it though? Because they definitely have not addressed head-on the possibility that the character could be ace and/or aro, nor have they dealt with reflecting an ace/aro person's experience. Sure, maybe some of the things that happen are similar, but at this point it is most likely incidental. (I'd love to be wrong, but let's be realistic about mainstream entertainment) This character has not had any of that addressed in any concrete way at all despite the show centering a lot around sex and sexuality for every other character. Why wouldn't it come up and be discussed? And of course, I can't say that wouldn't be enough for an asexual person watching, but I feel like they deserve more than that. Name it. Have the characters discuss it. Show us the effects of this on the character. If we're basing every single character's likely canon outcome purely on the basis of what they haven't done or haven't said we're probably going to be disappointed because that is...pretty broad. Just because the butler's fingerprints are not on the murder weapon does not inherently mean he's innocent; he could have used a glove, after all, and given that he IS a butler-....

My concern here is that this, along with general fandom puritanism and the drive to get icky ew gross sex completely out of fandom spaces, is going to create circumstances favorable for in-fighting and gatekeeping and silencing. Guess who benefits when all of us are arguing amongst each other and not holding Capitalism responsible for properly reflecting our stories and experiences? The people in charge who don't care and would rather not have that expectation hanging over their heads anyway.

Because it's becoming this thing where if a character does not experience any development or exploration in the vein of romance or sexuality then they are indisputably aro-ace and you may not argue otherwise bc that is erasure. Do we not see how easily this can become a way of allowing corporations off the hook without accountability? Not just for properly and unashamedly exploring queer experiences in general, but for aro/ace characters specifically. It's accepting the bare minimum-to-nothing as acceptable rep (for yourself and others) while saying that you are being silenced while you are intentionally trying to silence and censor other marginalized voices. It's bullshit and I'm frustrated that we don't seem to be learning from past mistakes but rather just recycling them again and again in different forms, which is regressive and divisive and helps no one. It also means less quality representation. (To be clear, I'm not talking about headcanoning/interpreting a character as ace/aro or hoping that it will be confirmed in canon, I'm talking about doing that and arguing that any other conflicting interpretations are inherently wrong or a form of violence against you, and/or saying this is definitely what the character is bc the show's lack of addressing anything one way or another is sufficient aro/ace representation)

It is valid to be desperate for representation in media one enjoys; of course it is, and so many of us deserve so much better reflected in the subject material we enjoy and patronize. But we cannot let that desperation drive us to accept less than what we deserve from a system that is routinely pushing back against us and counting on us to fold. We should not allow that to blind us from the true priorities of the people creating the material we're consuming. We can't keep letting desperation put people on pedestals that have absolutely no interest in reflecting us at the expense of other marginalized creators who do and deserve the support so much more.

And also, please. Please. Asexual and sexual fans can coexist. There is nothing inherently wrong with sex, sexuality or wanting to explore sex/sexual behaviors via fictional settings and characters. There is nothing wrong with not being interested in that at all (or just being a little interested or only wanting romantic nonsexual content, etc, however it manifests) and curating your fandom experience to your comfort level. There is absolutely no need for one side to try to invalidate the other, and while the moral right is trying to inject its beliefs and talking points into every available corner of the internet we need to be hyper vigilant about divisive talk and 'otherness' even when it pops up in seemingly benign contexts and places. Any justifying as to why one segment of a group is not as 'valid' or as 'welcome' as the rest. That sort of thing. It's very sneaky and manipulative, but once you're on alert for the red flags and the rhetoric you'll begin to see how this seeps into corners we believe are safe.

They're only as safe as we keep them and the only way we do that is by sticking together, uplifting each other and demanding what we rightly deserve.

#dont know how to tag this and honestly im too scared #but also im not #because it really needs to be said #none of this is new none of this came out of thin air

[leviathan-dee]

Hiya! I'd like to request some awkward Dadgil moments in Nico's van, hehe. Thank you! <3

K!! Thank you for the request bean! I know how much you love the found family trope and family fics, so hopefully this somewhat sates that need ❤

Accumulating Problems

Dadgil (Vergil, Nero, mention of Nico)

Word Count: 1190

It has been almost a month since the Sparda twins returned from the Hyperborean wasteland that is hell, sinking their roots back to Earth and acclimatizing to normal human life. The first problem was, Vergil had barely any semblance of what a normal human was, let alone how to communicate like one.

Talking with one was almost unfathomable.

Yet here he was, posterior placed upon an aged leather armchair in Nico’s van, attempting to alleviate the tension in the air with… small talk.

This is where problem number two arose. The person he was attempting to converse with was his son, Nero, a very tempestuous youngling with many bones to pick. Every so often, Vergil sneaked a glance at the devil hunter, observing how his brow creased with every bump in the road that Nico hit along the way, a familiar wrinkle forming between his silver eyebrows. Nero seemed to be munching on a bag of peanuts, the crunches resounding in the tension thick air. That was a bizarrely comforting sound.

Vergil couldn’t help but stare at times, the realisation of his own living flesh and blood sitting beside him weighing down on his shoulders like a bag of bricks. Undoubtedly, the strangeness would never leave. The fact that Nero looked like a carbon copy of himself, his strength reflecting similarities beyond appearance, would feel like he was gawking into a mirror.

Admittedly, Vergil had ogled for too long, Nero noticing his father’s turned head, making him shift uncomfortably in his seat.

“So erm-" shuffling his weight back in the futon, Nero directed his attention to his paternal figure.

“I apologise.” There was a long pause after Vergil's reply, the air growing thicker with anxious energy.

“What for?”

“It is... strange. You have my face.” Vergil cursed under his breath for the lack of tact in the comment. But it was the only way he could express his current tumultuous emotions. Nero had his face. His strength. His endurance. Even his mocking attitude amongst an enemy littered field. Nero was definitely Vergil's son, and the elder had to accept that fact. Might as well start with awkward comments on their appearances.

“Wha-”

"Tsk. What I meant was, we have many similarities."

The silver haired youngster scrunched his face quizzically at Vergil. It wasn't the first time he had trouble formulating words when it came to his ancestry.

"Well, you are my father. Or has that changed whilst I wasn't lookin'?" The uncomfortable silence stretched between them, neither able to alleviate whatever stiffness that hung in the air. Inadvertently, both father and son placed their respective palms to their hair, brushing the strands away from their own eyes at the same exact time.

Problem number three was the lack of common ground that the two possessed. Yes, Sparda’s blood flowed through their veins. However, Vergil knew nothing of the boy. What were his hobbies? How did he grow up? Hell, what was even his favourite food?

“This is ridiculous.” Vergil scrutinized the cumbersome predicament, his inability to communicate normally holding a hot iron rod to his back. How could the son of Sparda be so easily defeated by language?

Meanwhile Nero’s father was having an existential crisis beside him, the son kept munching on that same pack of peanuts that filled the silence. Shoving his whole hand into the pack of sweet treats, Nero turned to ease the tension by offering some to his father. Vergil peered at the pack, most of the flashy scarlet logo and ingredients obscured by Nero's palm.

"Peanuts, want some?"

"I… suppose." Vergil tentatively poked at a multitude of spherical chunks, the nuts sticking together with ease. Drawing them out of the bag, he tossed the handful into his gob. Unfortunately, because of Vergil’s tendency for impulsive thought and action, he neglected to observe what he was chucking down his throat. Besides, it was another good chance at starting a typical chat, hesitating to involve oneself in snacking with their son was probably a bad idea towards the road to awkward silence once more.

“They’re honey roasted, with Carolina Reaper flakes.” Nero’s smirk slowly, yet surely, melted away as the boy realised what he just fed his agonizingly stoic father. Cringing inwardly, the young devil hunter prayed that his dad had the same, if not a better, tolerance to blazing peppers and spices.

“What is a Carolina Rea-” It was then that problem number four made its guest appearance. The moment of realisation, and the foreign tickling sensation upon his tongue, was a one way trip to pained-confusion-ville. Undoubtedly, the tickle quickly morphed into a flaming inferno of a thousand tiny blades pinching at the inside of Vergil’s mouth. Tears began to well up in the corner of his once silver eyes, now turning crimson from both pain and fury at his callousness.

“Carolina Reapers are spicy peppers. Like, very spicy. Once held the record for hottest pepper on the planet, spicy.” Attempting to speak as innocently and as nonchalantly as possible as to not awaken the beast in Vergil, Nero chucked another handful into his mouth, chewing thoroughly without batting an eyelash.

“Fuck.” Tears now streaming down his face like the river Nile, a profanity otherwise unimaginable had escaped from between his stinging lips. And no matter how gently the word was uttered, both Nero and Nico heard the curse word.

“Did your daddy just drop the eff bomb? Mr. I’m too high and mighty to swear like the rest of us simple folk?” Nico’s eccentric and excitable nature transformed the situation into a stage play. The domino effect of Vergil’s careless actions, Nero’s equally careless offer, and the air of tension mixed into only what can be called a comedic tragedy.

“Dad?” Nero could barely hold back the laughter, feeling bad for never mentioning his god-like tolerance to the scoville scale. He hadn’t even noticed how this was the first time he called Vergil by his parental title, out of worry and concern.

“I’m fine.” The elder’s oesophagus was coated in liquid fire, his voice more so hoarse than nasal. As Vergil sat barely breathing, Nero stood to reach over to the freezer beside him, procuring another sweet treat.

“Here. Had a spare cone of ice cream. Usually works.” Vergil’s impulsive nature took control once more, this time in attempts to preserve his cool. No obstacles of hesitation, he swallowed the top half in mere seconds.

To be quite honest, Vergil was glad to find a difference between them so drastic. Who thought it would occur in something like sweet treats that can burn a hole in the ground like Xenomorph blood? For all he knew, that was exactly what they were coated with. Hell, he was proud of Nero for such a victory over his father, even if it did mean himself losing to a youngster.

Maybe differences are not so bad. And maybe they will grow to have a decent conversation soon. For now, he had to get rid of the smouldering pain that blanketed his tongue, and take a mental note to always pay attention to what his son offered him.

#devil may cry #Vergil #nero #dadgil #request #leviathan-writes

[hotmess-exe]

hi! I saw u in the notes of a post abt male writers getting mad when their audience is largely female & u mentioned racism and homophobia in knb. I totally believe it given how toxic the "aLpHa MaLe" side of the fandom especially can be toward non-straight,non-male fans & the accidentally-queerbaity vibe of the show in general. but I'd appreciate it if you could elaborate bc Idk much abt the author if thats what u meant. if you'd rather not though, feel free to ignore this. have a good one :)

ohh man, it’s been literal years since I was into the fandom like that, but I’ll try to summarize as accurately as I can. (post anon is referring to) and I speak from the perspective of someone who

does not speak or read Japanese

LOVES fictional media with complex and interesting characters and

shipped Midorima and Takao like fucking Fed-Ex.

i don’t use twitter or other social media so i’ve genuinely never interacted with any potentially toxic male portion of the fandom. literally gonna tag my bestie @lia-nikiforov for help on this as i’m sure she’ll be able to fill in the blanks of my memory and recounting. (if you're so inclined, friend 😌) and y’know what?

let me lay this out as a timeline of disillusionment.

2012 - I get into KnB the anime. cool character designs and development, i actually know enough about basketball to enjoy the sports perspective (and how ridiculously camp it is), and it’s my first foray into fandom. Can’t wait for the second season so I get caught up on the manga. I fall so in love with my pairing that I start writing fanfiction for the first time in my life. Make online friends. etc etc me love basketball anime

Then this shit happened:

I’m not going to claim to know what this was entirely about, but it really just seems like some homophobic domestic terrorist trying to malign the yaoi fangirls that were quickly flocking to the IP after the anime came out? for some reason??? [x]

Was that the yaoi fandom’s fault? Nope. Can I see Fujimaki, a cis straight dude trying to write a manly basketball manga, being exhausted, annoyed, and possibly resentful of them for it anyway? Yeah, i can see it. so next...

Hyuuga (Fujimaki’s expy) calling Reo (a fucking angel) a gay/trans slur

this post summarizes that shit from when the chapter came out... i remember being very, very disappointed and rocked

https://akashiseijuros.tumblr.com/post/70004569298/how-can-i-summarize-the-knb-debacle-to-a-friend-of-mine

and this dissects the actual scenes of the manga (left out by the anime because god knows the studios wanted to keep raking in fujoshi cash uninhibited)

https://icecreambat.tumblr.com/post/80582483128/waaait-hyuuga-is-homophobic

this is coming in a manga where the author is well aware, perhaps overly aware of how much gay shipping goes on in his fandom. i mean, i don’t think it’s far off to say KnB set the modern roadmap for how marketing would utilize queer-baiting to the MAX for shows like Free in the future (but correct me if i’m wrong). this garbage was an intentional message to readers and no one will convince me otherwise. specifically since he chose Hyuuga to say this, who Fujimaki said in past interviews (and in the manga itself I wanna say??) that this was the character he most identified with.

Extra Game/Last Game: featuring the Scary Black Savages Antagonists™

this was my final straw—the Americans in Extra Game. I never watched Last Game. the love was gone by then. not only are these literally the only Black characters of any importance in the entire series... they are fucking morons, violent, cheaters, and mindless minions of their white, blond team captain.... like.... wow man WOW. Fujimaki’s greatest talent as a writer, in my opinion, is his character design, writing, and development.

So, at best, these Black characters were either lazily depicted as savages or purposely depicted as savages.

it also didn’t escape my attention, as a Black writer, how Fujimaki further establishes the Americans as villains by having them call the Generation of Miracles “monkeys”....... while depicting the only Black characters like THIS:

I can’t even fight this description because it’s fucking accurate:

this creepy fucking panel featuring a naked Jason Silver, in reference to his natural “Exceptionally Strong Body” skill 😒 🤢

Upon his intro, he’s immediately the most repulsive kind of villain, literally coming after a Japanese woman in the way all anti-Black racists are terrified of

Having these trash Black characters call the Japanese main characters “monkeys” is kind of like giving your own racist ass a pass.... a pass to depict them as barely human, dark-skinned thugs. And I DO mean this in the context of the rest of Fujimaki’s character designs and his general art style—these characters were supposed to all be in the same age group as the Generation of Miracles!! He even made fucking Hanamiya (a certifiable psycho lbR) look like a recognizable, interesting human being, so why the fuck did these Black Americans get smacked with the ogre stick?? It’s also a (barely) subtle way to give any readers who might already be INCLINED to call Black people monkeys the pass to say something along the lines of, oh, idk, “Oh, THEY’RE calling our faves monkeys??!?” and this is not just an assumption, I definitely came across some liberal usage of the n-word while looking up the stupid shit for this post (fuuuuuunnn)

I’m supposed to believe the Black people are calling the Japanese people monkeys. the only fucking Black people that aren’t fucking NBA players. (oh, excuse me, with the exception of the one African character who’s entire personality was a “funny” name and being an arrogant, lazy simpleton with no skill beyond being tall as fuck.) If he wanted to make the American antagonists racist against Japanese people, that is totally his right as a Japanese writer. i’m not, at all, the type to defend the US or Americans just for the sake of defending the US and Americans. If you wanna have racist, ignorant Americans be your antagonists in a story, I got no issue with that. I don’t even care that the Black characters are villains—that’s obviously completely fine because they were always going to be the antagonists to our mains, the protagonists. Make them villains! There are infinite cool ways to do that shit!

But not like this. Jfc not like this. The Black Americans calling the Japanese characters monkeys. Monkeys. MONKEYS of all things and I’m supposed to read that and be like oH OK YEA THAT'S BELIEVABLE

do i think it was all intentional? i’d honestly be shocked if it was. does that make it ok or acceptable for me to sign off on and ignore? lmao fuck no?? I have too much self respect???

ugh to end this unpleasant trip down memory lane

so clearly someone like me (queer, into queer relationships, Black American, African) was never meant to consume this dude’s fucking basketball manga. which y'know, eventually i had to be like fine, whatever. you win, dude, i literally can't even enjoy your IP anymore. guess that’s what you wanted, good for you, gg. if others in the English-speaking fandom had recognized and said any one fucking thing about it, I might have stuck around longer? but a lot of people fell off during and after Extra Game just cause it sucked and the people who stuck with it just... didn't care. either didn't notice or didn't care. which isn't surprising! English anime audiences ignore the fuck out of racist depictions in anime all the fucking time.

it wasn’t an unpopular opinion at the time that Fujimaki had written himself into several corners (at one point he confessed he'd made Akashi overpowered and wasn’t sure how he could be beaten)—which I don’t blame him for! I can't imagine how much external pressure there is when your IP becomes this wildly popular so quickly and in a way you did not at all intend or expect. and before you're even close to finishing it. that's fucking difficult. I can also imagine there were times where it felt like it no longer belonged to him, god only knows how many directions he was being pulled in while writing the final volumes. But considering how much Fujimaki clearly couldn’t stand how gay his fandom was, very little of what I described up there was unpredictable, unfortunately. I do feel it firmly fits into the category of male creators resenting and punishing their female fandom.

However, you could also sense the artist/writer’s fatigue in the way plots were developed and loose ends were tied up, in the interviews toward the end... and the fact that his next project was slated to be a golf manga in a far more realistic style that the KnB fandom wasn’t at all interested in. on the one hand, I think it makes complete sense for him to do something totally different from KnB after such a ridiculously intense bout of success and attention like that, both from a creative and like mental health standpoint, but, again—there’s a lingering sense of resentment.

and to reiterate

i don’t know anything about the non-shipping parts of the fandom. nothing at all. I also can't claim to have been that into the fandom (I ignored and avoided drama and getting super into the voice actors, musical projects, etc). All I can really speak to is my personal connection to the show, manga, and characters, my initial personal respect and admiration for Fujimaki as a writer, and the feeling of both of those things slipping away. Slowly at first, then all at once; and strictly because of Fujimaki’s creative decisions. this isn’t even getting into the fact that Extra Game genuinely was crap from a perspective of character consistency and development on several fronts. again, it felt like a writer who had already fallen out of love with his own work adding this on because there just was the expectation of one... Final Game 🙄

Kuroko no Basuke just makes me feel sad and cold now when I think about it. but at least I made some friends through it, yknow? well, i fell out of touch with most of them. maybe i should tag them here? i stick by what i said here but i’m curious what others who were in the fandom at its peak think.

will you recognize me guys? you still there? i came back to tumblr i don’t watch animes no more lol

@yokofujioka @shunnaoaddict @leona-dracontis

#knb #kuroko no basuke #fujimaki tadatoshi #nope i don't care that the knb wikia is out of date on extra game bullshit #i said what i said and what happened happened #racism cw #anti-blackness cw #racism in anime #fujimaki i was rooting for you #...this better not get me a bunch of bs in my inbox #cause it's all fucking true #and i'm not like #a nice person to ppl trying to shout down valid critiques of racist representation in media lmao #long post #this shit messy af but i've already dedicated too much time to explaining something that makes me mad so #fuck it #look an anon #hotmess

[notquitetwilight]

Ik I don't engage w u much but I'd just really like to talk to an Irish person....this pandemic is shit and its handled badly by Martin here and I just know that we won't get level 3 in march....I'm really fed up with it, I've graduated into a workplace where no one knows what's going on and there's no support. And to make it worse, beast from the east 2 is on the way so it's Baltic here which makes going for a walk a bit shit.

Do you have any tips or recommendations or even have just a good moan about the pandemic, Ireland style?

It’s feckin disastrous with FF and FG and the turncoat Greens in government tbh. Idk what you’ve graduated in but based on your ask it sounds like possibly something in the medical/science industries??? If that is the case I can’t imagine how hard it is rn bc the Irish govt’s lack of support there is evident at the best of times, never mind in a feckin pandemic 🥴 Don’t be shy to DM me off anon if you ever wanna rant!!!!!!! No pressure tho ofc as I know lots of people prefer anon and that’s why I’ve it enabled 💞

I don’t have any tips bc I feel exactly the same in terms of barely leaving the house both bc of lockdown and the weather, it’s near impossible to get out for walks. Like I’m glad we’re in lockdown bc of how bad the numbers were and I’m hoping they don’t just open back up again like they did the other two times we came out of lockdown bc otherwise we’re just gonna be back in the same boat a few weeks/months later yano? But that doesn’t make living in lockdown any less shite/easier. It’s like groundhog day over and over and the vaccine rollout is so bloody slow??????? I’ve pals in the States who’ve pre-existing conditions and have already had their first dose, meanwhile we’re being told all over 70s, who’ve priority next to frontline workers, probably won’t be done til MAY????? It legit feels like all I’m doing is hearing of people going for tests or dying and life is just on pause at the minute with the vague promise of “it’ll be better soon” but no idea as to when. I’m also job hunting atm and p much every industry’s job market is cat bc of the pandemic but my industry was limited in Ireland beforehand anyway, which was why I emigrated, but then the pandemic made me return home and now I’m stuck here and it feels never-fucking-ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Generally I’m trying to take it one day at a time and truly just survive. Some days are more productive than others (I’ve a chronic illness too that I’ll be waiting to be seen for for god knows how long again bc of the pandemic so some days I’m dragging myself out of the bed just before noon) and I’m trynna be forgiving with myself but it’s hard. It’s my birthday later this week and as someone with achievement/career anxiety turning another year older while unemployed in an unpromising situation is literally giving me chest pains hskskdkskksf 💀 I’m sorry if I went too negative there but I just kinda wanted to be honest and show you (or anyone else who’s struggling atm) that you’re not alone. We’re all in different circumstances and some people’s are definitely worse than others but the current situation is affecting us all in different and harmful ways and none of us are getting out of it unscathed (well except the rich maybe lol 🙃). So take comfort in the fact that you’re not the only one, but don’t let that diminish/invalidate how you’re feeling, if you get me? We’re allowed to be sad and angry and grieve normal life while doing our part to lessen the grieving of people. 💗

#covid mention #covid #coronavirus #lockdown #ireland #community #vibe check #personal #rant #asks #anon

[skittles1229]

Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They  knew me better then i know myself. 

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time. 

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't.  Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald. 

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly  as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

          He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing  out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters. 

     i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet  trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me  hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

     ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night. 

     i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy  cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way. 

     before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb

#dashiegames #dashiexp #dashie x reader #fanfictions #fanfic #self insert #romance

[orionsangel86]

I was the one with the ask. I want to apologize. I didn't wanna come across as rude. I love your blog. It was an honest question, since I haven't seen any spoilers which indicate that Cas and Dean are gonna make up. Also I have only seen spoilers where they said that the conflicts goes on after ep 9. Last thing was that Jensen didn't mention Cas as a reason for Dean being sad. But I saw ppl saying that Dean is gonna be shedding tears over Cas. I'd like to know if there's any reference material.

Okay so the first thing I need to stress here as in all cases is this: PR is not showrunning. I know I know, we say it all the time. You can’t really rely on small soundbites from the actors taken from interviews and put into clickbait articles usually to satisfy a specific writers agenda depending on the article they are writing. 

The second thing to remember: People are going to hype up and sensationalise things on social media to gain attention, likes, notes, etc. You cannot rely on this information either.

What we actually know:

Misha said this: “Cas will return to the bunker and the boys. He’ll be sort of driven back into collaborating with them because we’re still confronting the big bad, which is God. But that tension between Cas and Dean will play out for some time, and we won’t really have a resolution to that. I think the audience, and frankly Cas, will finally understand what it is that’s upsetting Dean so much in episode 9. So we’re a ways off from that arc feeling like it’s resolved.”

This quote is from this article.

Then at DCCon the other weekend, the last question asked by Mel aka @/mishasdiary on Twitter, was basically to know if Dean and Cas patch things up and Jensen answered this:

“I will say this, there is an answer to your question in the show. It will be in episode 9 which we just finished. Let’s just say that Dean has a moment by himself, where he prays to Cas. That is a bit of a confession on why he feels the way he feels and why he treated Cas the way he treated him.”

You can see the answer here at about 58 minutes in (last question).

In your ask you sent me yesterday, you also referred to another article (link here) written with soundbites from Jensen. I believe you were referring to this:

"I think the state of his brother always worries Dean. That's who he fights for," Jensen Ackles told TV Guide. "When that support, that base strength in his life starts to waver and [he] starts to second guess himself, that will certainly affect Dean in a way of, 'I can't let him go down this road' or 'I need to figure out a way to help him out.' So it'll be a struggle, not against each other, but for each other. Sam is struggling to find a purpose and Dean is struggling to help Sam find purpose."

But this is standard talk from Jensen and it is also correct so I don’t see why anyone would read this and feel threatened about Dean’s relationship with Cas? Come on now, we aren’t like Bronly’s threatened by Cas’s mere presence. This is very true what Jensen is saying because the brothers are toxically codependent. But there is a true bond between them which has been poisoned over time. Yes Dean will be worried about Sam because Dean is always worried about Sam, but Sam is not part of the Dean and Cas break up narrative.

Jensen also had this to say which I thought was interesting:

[about Sam hypothetically dying] "That would have to be a bridge crossed when he came to it," Ackles said. "Right now, and for a long time, Sam's been the reason that Dean keeps fighting. If you take that away from him, then what does he have? Is there a will to keep going? I don't know how that would shape up from Dean's perspective. Maybe he finds something to fight for or maybe he finds somebody to fight with. Maybe he calls it quits."

So this is Jensen contemplating what life would be like for Dean without Sam, and he’s hardly saying “well if Sam died Dean would also want to die” because Jensen most likely knows that isn’t the case anymore. Bobo has been picking apart that particular arc ever since he wrote Red Meat. 

So anyway, brushing off Jensen’s interview aside as nothing even remotely alarming or concerning for DeanCas fans (because we do NOT see Sam as a threat to our ship), lets talk about the prayer. We got Jensen’s spoiler first, and given this was fresh in Jensen’s mind, only shortly after he filmed it, I reckon we can safely assume that what he has told us is at least somewhat accurate (though we cannot of course account for how this may be cut in the editing room).

Episode 9 is Bobo’s episode. Bobo is basically holding the mantle for the DeanCas emotional arc this season (and last season) so I fully expect this to be the next big turning point in Dean and Cas’s relationship. Jensen has confirmed that when Dean is alone, he prays to Cas.

This is already setting a super intimate scene. Dean rarely prays as it is. We haven’t seen him pray to Cas since season 9. The fact that he is alone and not with Sam also confirms the level of intimacy. We can assume that Dean sought privacy for this prayer.

Now, Jensen goes on to say that Dean will explain how he feels and why he treated Cas how he did. This is already sounding like a proper explanation and potentially an apology. We will learn the mystery of why Dean (in Misha’s words) has been acting like such a prick. I never had any doubt that they would eventually explain it. I trust Bobo has planned this all out and knows what he is doing. He likes exploring Dean’s emotional responses - anger comes from fear and worry. Dean is terrified. That is usually why he acts out. Bobo has previously confirmed this and it was even stated in the show itself in Bobo’s episode 14x09 via Kaia. I think that Dean’s treatment of Cas is based on fear. This is why we are so excited (when I say “we” here, I mean me and the general group of wonderful people I scream with daily about this dumb show aka a bunch of meta writers or at least meta literate people). So Jensen has confirmed that we will get a proper explanation of WHY he treated Cas and also HIS FEELINGS on the matter. 

The MOST interesting part of Jensen’s spoiler, is that he called the whole thing a CONFESSION. Dude. The last time Dean confessed to anything was in a church and it almost gave me a heart attack. Since that scene was the closest this show has ever come so far to Dean actually coming out of the fucking closet.

So not only is this an intimate prayer to Cas, an explanation of his bad treatment of Cas and an admittance of his feelings over the whole thing, its also a confession. 

Interesting choice of words Jensen. Confession to what exactly? Because this is starting to feel suspiciously like a very profound moment between our two boys. It’s clearly an important scene. 

Then Misha on top of this, has confirmed that Cas hears the prayer. Which yay for starters, and also think about how he explained the situation:

“But that tension between Cas and Dean will play out for some time, and we won’t really have a resolution to that. I think the audience, and frankly Cas, will finally understand what it is that’s upsetting Dean so much in episode 9. So we’re a ways off from that arc feeling like it’s resolved.”

You have to read this entire paragraph as one: 

The tension will play out for sometime but Cas and the audience will understand what the deal is in episode 9. So we are a way off from that arcs resolution.

When Misha was talking about the resolution being way off, he was talking about the time between now and episode 9. He confirms that it is at least somewhat resolved in episode 9. That’s what I interpret as being implied here anyway. 

This plus Jensen’s entire answer was to the question “when will Dean and Cas patch things up?” Jensen answered “episode 9″.

Like??? How are people misunderstanding this and blowing it so far out of proportion? Bitter people are so desperate to cling to their negativity that they are totally misinterpreting the information they are being given. It’s extremely frustrating.

Anyway, the one other gripe you had was about Dean’s prayer being about Sam or because he is worried about Sam. Okay except that has come out of absolutely nowhere other than bitters who are actually threatened by Sam which I find utterly ridiculous. So what if the prayer is triggered by Sam? Maybe Sam is in a perilous situation and Dean doesn’t know what to do so he prays. I mean, is that really so bad? Dean usually IS motivated by Sam, so it’s not exactly a huge deal. The main thing to focus on here is that the prayer will be about Dean and Cas and THEIR issues. It will resolve THAT ARC. The arc that doesn’t involve Sam. 

Honestly, I don’t think that Dean’s prayer will be triggered by Sam though. Because Sam has never been part of this particular arc that Bobo has been writing. I mean maybe its possible that the whole thing could be triggered by Sam yelling at Dean to sort out his shit with Cas because they are stronger together and Sam is fed up of being stuck in the middle in which case GREAT because I would LOVE to see more exasperated Sam telling his brother to talk to his estranged husband. 12x10 is one of my all time favourite episodes BECAUSE OF SAM.

But again, I don’t think that an intimate private prayer confession from Dean to Cas will have anything to do with Sam because quite frankly, I can’t see how to fit him in a way that makes sense outside of my own 12x10 repeat above. 

So please, stop panicking over things we don’t know. Stop making negative assumptions. Focus on the good stuff and enjoy what the show is giving us right now. I’m still riding the DeanCas break up scene high because that shit was romantic AF and no one can tell me otherwise. I’m still amazed that in this shows final season Dean and Cas’s emotional arc is getting pushed into the A plot. In all the years of watching this show this has only ever been the case once before and that was in 13x01-13x06. This is a huge deal. Enjoy it and stop letting negative Nancy’s drag you down.

#destiel #deancas #supernatural #castiel #dean winchester #misha collins #jensen ackles #spn meta #spn speculation #my meta #15x09 #destiel dreaming #spn spoilers #deans prayer confession #the destiel break up scene #negativity for ts #fandom problems #asks #anon #Anonymous

[souladventure]

What I learned during the Covid19 lockdown after losing my passion business.

Despite all the losses incurred because of this global cluster-fuck known as the COVID19 pandemic/lockdown, I've learned so many invaluable truths and realities that probably wouldn't have ever surfaced otherwise. Here are a few that i'd like to share with everyone so I could just get it out there for my own wellbeing and possibly help others in the process:

1. I learned so much about myself and how weak I am (or was) mentally. My heart and mind didn't fair so well when I lost so much and I'm still coping as I write this. I feel a lot stronger emotionally now after such a debilitating and humbling experience. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger I guess.

2. If you get into a business that’s directly related to a passion that brings you joy and purpose, brace yourself for the turmoil and negativity (that comes with any business) you will be introducing to this passion of yours. i.e. Surfing for me was all positivity until I had to start hiring friends and dealing with different groups who either saw me as a threat or just felt I was competition to them. I honestly just wanted to help an industry grow so every stakeholder involved, including myself, could flourish but I didn't expect a lot of people to hate on me for it. 

The good news is after a decade many of these haters became my friends again when they realized my efforts actually helped them and that I wasn't there to take anything away from them. Surfing is a huge part of my lifestyle and my relationship to the community is something I'd like to maintain as a positive zone instead of a cutthroat business arena. 

I'm happy to say that although I share the same passion for food and I am now committed 100% to this industry ("Tito Paolo's Inasal" est during lockdown May 2020), I'm not emotionally involved with anyone else in it and I would't care less if anyone hated on me.

3. Don't get into a business that relies entirely on the skills of only a very limited amount of individuals that aren't readily available or expendable. For this reason, i chose to close down Skwala Surfboards, a passion project i dreamt about since '99 and materialized in 2010, when the pandemic further burried me in debt. You will pay for this big time if the employees or partners who are the only ones who can perform the main operations of your business suddenly act up. (This was something I actually already knew even before the pandemic but because I was so passionate about it I still decided to continue. Now I’m facing the ramifications of being blinded by a grave emotionally driven decision).

I don't regret this tho because I still built something that was considered the best in it’s time and also established itself as the pioneer of a growing industry. This satisfaction doesn't stem from merely bragging rights but more so on the fact that I know that I can be the best at something I focus all my energy on. (I'm happy to say I have shifted this focus from surfboard manufacturing to food where I feel just as fulfilled and continue to grow and innovate.) 

You yourself have to be the best at providing the product/service of your business so that when the people you hire fuck up you can fire their asses and do it yourself. I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever learn how to shape a surfboard but I’m proud enough to say that I am the best beginner level surfing instructor and I make the best inasal.

4. Don’t expect your employees to make any extra efforts or sacrifices for you in times of crisis and prioritize your business in its entirety. Do not give more than you can afford no matter how desperate they are. They will never sincerely appreciate your gestures of kindness and generosity and you best expect that they will never return the favor! Your business isn't a charity and it's survival as a whole should be paramount. Sorry to say but in my experience the employees will never ever truly understand nor realize the value of their employer's survival. They will still slack with their work and expect the same salary despite the sales amounting to zero. And don’t be surprised when they fucking steal. That’s because they feel like its their right to do so (A common issue in third world settings). To top it off when everything is close to being dead they will still ask for backpay. Make sure you are prepared legally and financially for this. But don't you ever believe you have loyal employees who are willing to join you in the muck when the shit goes down. I wouldn't either so I'm not judging anyone with this statement and I'm eating up the losses. But except for those who stole...fuck them.

5. Learn to let go and do it sooner so as not to lose more than you really have to. If you think going through a breakup is tough, try losing your dream business. Make sure you are on point with calculating your losses and pull the plug as early as you can. Don't allow your passions to overcome your decision making. One of the first things my father taught me in business was "Never fall In love with your ideas" and I'm still kicking myself for not listening. What I can add to this is if you aren’t part of the lucky few whose passions just so happen to be highly lucrative businesses then instead "Do what your are good at over doing what you love! Because when you succeed at what you are good at you can do absolutely anything you want!" Anyone who tells you otherwise is either a rich kid or a Woke AF grass fed hipster.

6. Get work online. Start a vlog, a podcast, teach english or teach anything. Just take the steps to begin a career online because this is easily available and it's work from home safe. I'm only beginning to do this now and yes I'm gonna make a vlog or podcast interview about all of these things I mentioned above but only after I'm done sorting all my shit out.

That's all I have to say for now and I'm happy to also say that I've been moving forward with a more positive attitude lately. I'm stronger now and I only care about things that are valuable to my growth. I still deal with depression and anxiety on a daily basis but this has reduced as I see new goals on the horizon.

I wanna thank all my friends who were there to drop a line and support me in even the slightest of ways when I most needed it.

I want to thank my Dad and family for being there no matter what. I'm crying now as I type this. Man, you don't know how much gratitude I have for you guys.

I also want to thank those who still stayed buddies with people who burned me in business. It allows me to know where to classify you in my internal contact list. (Facebook should have that...Friends list and Frenemies or Fake Friends, lol.)

I also want to thank God...yes I believe in you. Live Jesus in our hearts...Forever. Amen. 

#perserverance #covid19 #bounceback #comeback #bankruptcy #wfh #workfromhome #freelance #business #passion #life lessons #depression #anxiety #motivation #entrepreneurship