#osamu crack

[beesandflowers]

SWORN TO SECRECY

summary: your time alone with suna is interrupted by a scheduling mishap, but you can’t risk your relationship getting caught

pairing: suna x gn!reader

notes: the characters are third years, but are still 18(+), theres one line that was inspired by a tt creator but i can’t find them, any comments, likes, or reblogs are always appreciated :)

wc: 2.7k

warnings/tags: kissing, suggestive, FLUFF, crack, tsumu being annoying, kinda cheesy, pet names, established relationship, secret relationship, swearing (use of the s word), mention of handcuffs, mention of reader having breasts

[2:39 P.M]

The sound of sloppy open-mouthed kisses and ragged breathes dusted both of your ears beautifully, and could easily be distinguished by anyone passing by the corridor of your bedroom. Luckily, your parents had been out for the day, leaving you to quickly take the opportunity to spend the day with your partner and be as loud as you wanted.

You were both on the floor, sitting up, with your own back pressed up against your closet. You couldn’t be bothered to sit on the bed, or even a chair. You just had to have your hands on each other the moment you were alone, seeing as the possibility itself was extremely rare.

With your bags lazily thrown in the middle of the room, and the door slightly agar, Suna began to slowly roam his large hands around your body. Sensually travelling from your hips, to your waist, and eventually cupping your breasts. It felt like his touch had burned through your now-wrinkled clothing and left an imprint on your skin. You didn’t care, though, you just wanted more.

You sighed in content, and switched the position of your arms as well, easing the motion of your hand in his hair, moving to cup his pink-colored cheeks. After spending more time together, you began to realize how much he loved this position. It made the scene so much more intimate, in his opinion. It made him feel like your emotions —as well as his own— were tangible, crystal clear, and all that became visible was the love that surrounded you.

Had your eyes been opened, you would’ve been able to notice the few freckles that covered his red tinted nose.

He slightly shifted, trying to get in a more comfortable position as the butterflies in your stomach and the beating of your heart rapidly increased. The kisses were delicate and languid but still had a fiery passion behind them. At the very moment, you were just kissing, with no eventual goal and no lustful intent behind it. The both of you were just glad to be with each other.

You always appreciated these moments; it gave you reassurance about your relationship and reminded you of the fact that Suna really did like you. That he wasn’t just using you for your body. That your happiness and comfort were more important to him, and that he needed you, not just someone.

While your lips had sealed, exploring the other, he grazed your neck with his index finger, an area you where were slightly sensitive, leaving you to grin into the kiss.

“Hm, what?” he mumbled against your lips, seemingly confused, but was still smiling just as wide when your mouths parted, creating a light smack.

You released a breath from your nose in amusement. Blushing cheeks almost starting to ache from smiling so wide along with crinkles around your eyes; Suna couldn’t stop staring. “Nothing, nothing. I’m just kinda ticklish around that area.”

Opening his mouth to respond, he was rudely interrupted by the sound of keys jingling and quiet footsteps following, causing him to freeze. His expression shifted from playful to incredibly confused in an instant, and the same applied to you.

“That’s weird I wasn’t expect- OH SHIT!”

Suna’s eyebrows raised and eyes widened in curiosity at your outburst, while yours widened in worry of the situation. How stupid did you have to be to forget something like this.

“I totally forgot ‘Samu asked me for help on his literature essay, I must’ve mixed up the dates or something. I am so so sorry, Rin.”

You looked at him apologetically with a sheepish smile, watching a slight look of disappointment cover his sharp features. He was really looking forward to finally spending time with you, only to realize someone else got to it first. Was it such a crime for him to want to be with his girlfriend?

The footsteps began to sound more and more audible, making you internally panic and come to a quick realization, “You need to hide. Right now.”

“Wh-“

“NOW!” The volume of your voice had lowered but you were still somehow yelling at him. Your boyfriend found it endearing.

Suna had been frantically looking around for a good place to hide —he almost looked like a lost kitten— but everywhere looked really cramped and there wasn’t exactly a lot of space in your bedroom, especially for a toned six foot one athlete.

Curse his stupid height

You pointed to your closet, suggesting he hide there since it was a closed off area where no one really looks, and fortunately, was big enough to fit both him and his backpack.

In a rushed tone of whisper, you spoke, “Okayillletyouknowwhenthecoastisclearsoyoucanleave-“

And his reply was cut off once again with the footsteps getting louder each passing second.

“HIDE HIDE- HIIII, ‘Samu!”

Just as you said that, the closet door finally closed, making a small noise that didn’t go unnoticed by all three people in the room.

Real smooth Y/N

Your tone shifted from a fearful whisper to an excited greeting in almost an instant. He’s bound to get suspicious. You tried to act as nonchalantly as possible, quickly thinking of an excuse in case he asked about your questionable behavior.

In the midst of your thinking you slightly worried that you forgot to hide Suna’s bag as well, (something that would be recognized by the twin) but had the image of you stuffing his backpack in the closet with him replayed in your head. If you had the chance, you might have laughed just thinking about it. Still, it was a good thing you caught that or else your cover might have easily been blown.

“No one answered the door, and you didn’t answer my texts, so I used the key ya gave me. I hope ya don’t mind,” He lifted his hand to display the key that you gave him in case of emergency.

You shook your head no.

“But, uh, who were ya talkin’ to just now?”

Osamu’s brows were furrowed and he looked around the room, possibly trying to answer his own query.

Shit

“Right! I was- trying to find my cat. Have you seen her?” Thank god you remembered you even had one or this would have been a very awkward situation.

He looked more at ease compared to the earlier look on his face, giving you hope that you would be able to sneak Suna out of the house without the knowledge of the boy in front of you. It also let you know that he didn’t hear the exact words you were uttering, making it easier to lie.

“Yeah, I just saw her downstairs. Does she.. usually hide in the closet?” Of course he would ask about that, ever the observant Miya.

You nodded your head, then, trying to change the subject; you brought up the topic of why he was here and suggested you start working.

While he was trying to complete a small writing exercise you gave him —that worked well as a distraction—, the only thing on your mind was how Suna was currently doing.

It’s been 10 minutes, I hope he’s okay…

You decided to text him, hoping his phone was accessible to him at the moment.

[2:46 P.M] Y/N: Rin are you okay in there? I’ll get you out once Samu uses the bathroom or smth

The message caused a small vibration sound to come from the closet, but Osamu was too immersed in his current task to hear it.

It took Suna a second to reply, so you assumed his phone was probably in his pocket and he had a hard time reaching it.

[2:47 P.M] Rin: Yeah I’m okay, just lmk when I can come out.

[2:47 P.M] Rin: Also, I didn’t know you were into handcuffs

Handcuffs??

Oh.

On your birthday last year, Atsumu had presented you these really cheap handcuffs as a gag gift, suggesting that you needed to start dating someone, having been single for your entire life. You were about to scold him when he revealed the real present he was planning on giving you, but that you should keep the cuffs in consideration, with a wink. Smug bastard.

You completely forgot about them until now, and the reason you hadn’t thrown them away the second you got them was because your mom almost caught you with them and the closet —similar to now— was the easiest way to avoid confrontation.

This was all too much to explain in a text, and Osamu was almost done, so you ended the conversation with:

[2:46 P.M] Y/N: Shut up, I’ll explain later

-

Ten more minutes passed and the grey-haired boy finally decided to take a break and use the bathroom. Your patience was getting thinner which could only mean that Suna’s was non-existent by now.

With confirmation that the bathroom door had shut, you jumped off your seat, stumbling a bit from urgency, and hauled the closet door open with a force you didn’t even know existed within you.

Your boyfriend’s shoulders sagged in relief paired with the most bored expression you’ve ever on his face. “I don’t think I could’ve listened to you guys talking about The Handmaid’s Tale any longer.” He deadpanned.

You had to bite your lip from laughing but the middle blocker could see a hint of a smile on your face, feeling a bit more accomplished for being the one to do that. However, you made a mental note to scold him later on for saying such things about the book. You thought it was excellent.

You closed your eyes to allow yourself to relax, you couldn’t afford to waste time.

“Oh, whatever, now c’mon, we have to be fast.” Knowing Rin and noticing the opportunity, you had to follow it up with “And don’t you dare make a ‘that’s what she said’ joke.”

You pointed a finger at his chest and with your other hand, grabbed his own to lead him out of your bedroom and down the stairs. Though, you couldn’t help but notice how his callused hand practically enveloped yours entirely. The thought itself made you feel soft inside, leaving a tingling feeling in your chest that happened only around the boy next to you.

His mouth closed right after you said that, and he no longer had a bemused expression on his face. In fact, he was slightly flustered, maybe even flattered, but only because he realized how well you knew him and his mannerisms.

He had his bag slung on one shoulder and raised your interlocked hands, silently letting you know to lead the way.

Passing by the bathroom, you paused —causing Rin to do the same involuntarily— and spoke up in a louder volume to make sure the wing-spiker could hear you. “Uh, Samu! I’m gonna go downstairs to get something from the kitchen if don’t find me when you get out!”

Before he could reply, the both of you began moving your feet, trying your hardest not to make it appear like two pairs of footsteps were right outside the door.

Suna leaned down to your ear and commented something about being sneaky —you weren’t exactly sure what, being dead set on making a successful getaway.

He was referring to your earlier idea to draw attention away from the fact that you might not be in your room when Osamu was done in the bathroom. You weren’t about to throw away the 7 months spent sneaking around for a clumsy mistake that you would reprimand yourself for endlessly. You smirked slightly at the praise.

During this little stroll, you felt light shapes (you guess circles) being drawn on your knuckles by Suna, but he was doing it almost as a reflex, unaware of his own actions. He never really did understand the effect he had on you, because right now, you wouldn’t be surprised if your heart just leaped out of your chest from the unnatural speed it was beating.

It made you reflect, not on just today, but the entire aspect of your secret relationship. It never occurred to you how thrilling it would be, yet still managing to cause a sense of peace within you. A balance. The fact that you had a secret that no one else knew about. How it was one you both created together and nurtured continuously while everyone went about their lives. How you experienced every emotion at 120% because of the restrictions it held, and how badly you needed to overcome them. Because of the way you had to fight for each other, even when your hearts were tied in a knot impossible to undo. When your entire beings and souls already belonged to the other. You were each other’s persons, and you didn’t need the rest of the world to know it in order for it to be true.

You snapped out of your thoughts when you remembered how you were practically performing a heist. By now you could talk without being heard since you were already downstairs, so you made light conversation while still enjoying the comfortable silences that fell between you. And before you knew it, you were right in front of the door to leave.

Making sure the coast was clear, you turned your head towards the middle blocker and gave him a genuine smile.

“Okay, we’re safe now.” A look of endearment crossed on your face as you took everything in, finally being able to breathe for a moment, even if it really was just a moment.

He stilled for a few notes, gazing at you and your smile, completely enamored by your entire existence. To him, you were like a fallen angel that came down to Earth just for him. He may only be 18, but he was absolutely certain that he had found his soulmate, and that if something ever did happen, you would always come back to one another. Somehow, some way. And he didn’t know how exactly, but fate was funny like that. It was unpredictable, unknown. (Funnily enough, those words could also be used to describe your relationship.) Fate was definitely real though, because if it wasn’t, then you two wouldn’t have been destined to meet. Then, he wouldn’t have been sent to the wrong classroom and sat in your seat. There was at least three other empty seats, yet he still managed to choose yours. By pure coincidence, he was drawn to it. And he can’t be more grateful that he a was.

It was certain that these feelings wouldn’t go away after people found out about you two, because it would still by you two against the world. It would be you two, alone, together.

In the end, he decided on: “You’re cute.”

“Thanks babe, I know,” He looked at you expectantly, “…you’re cute too, I guess.”

He winked at you while nodding and all you could think about was what a dork your boyfriend was —except, you were the only one who ever even had the chance to think that.

“Okay, bye now. I love you,” Oh, how he loved saying that. Adored it, even. It felt like winning a prize at a claw machine, something he never thought he could do. He gave you a soft smile with nothing but fondness in his siren eyes. Ha, Ironic.

You returned his smile. “Take care, text me when you get home. Oh- and love you too.” It was like you were listing ingredients in a grocery list, but in most cases it wouldn’t be a crime —at least to Suna— to forget the last one.

He turned to the door, opened it, then stopped, causing you to be extremely baffled.

“Oh right, I almost forgot,”

Damnit, Osamu’s gonna for sure catch us if we go back and get whatever he left back there.

He took a large step towards you and before you knew it, your eyes were closed and lips intensely occupied. With his one hand on your cheek, and the other holding your waist, he deepened the kiss. No tongue though, it was obvious what that would lead to.

Carefully tilting his head up and down, his lips released from yours, and you were left feeling exceedingly hazy. That kiss might have literally taken your breath away.

You were about to spend the rest of the afternoon with his best friend, of course he would leave you with a little souvenir from the adventure you embarked upon. What kind of partner would he be if he didn’t?

Prideful with his work, he went ahead walking backwards. “Bye, bubs,”

He gave you a small wave paired with a lovesick —maybe a bit boyish— smile as he moved farther away from you, still walking backwards, almost far enough that he could start to make his way home.

You mouthed a goodbye, still not recovered enough to speak discernable words, and bit back a smile that still managed to peak through your eyes.

Watching him leave, you already began planning the next rendezvous in your head. Despite the experience slightly being a hassle, it didn’t matter. You would have done it one hundred times over if you could, as long as you did it together. If this was a movie, you would have sighed in content and slid your back down the door of your bedroom after it was closed, but you didn’t do that, obviously. You still had a wing-spiker to tutor.

Walking back upstairs, you get a text message.

[3:13 P.M] Rin: Don’t think I forgot about those handcuffs, love. You still owe me a ‘talk’ later.

Maybe it was a good thing you didn’t end up throwing them away, but you couldn’t let blondie know that.

any likes, comments, or reblogs are always appreciated!

#suna x reader #suna x you #suna drabble #suna x y/n #suna rintaro fluff #suna fluff #suna rintaro imagines #suna imagines #suna fic #suna rintaro fic #miya osamu #miya atsumu #miya twins #haikyuu!! #hq fluff #haikyu x reader #suna crack #atsumu crack #osamu crack #haikyuu crack #haikyuu suna #suna rintarō

[yoomiomiki]

Osamu who makes a tuna onigiri cake tower for atsumu for their birthday. And atsumu who buys a tub of fresh cream just to have a fresh cream food fight and a fruit cake eating cake only and giving osamu the fruits

A/n : their birthday is on 5 Oct for those who don’t know ! And it’s almost a week early to write this but I just thought of it

#THIER BIRTHDAY IS REALLY SOON #tmi- but my birthday is on Sunday #lol #happy birthday twins #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu #haikyuu reactions #hq fluff #msby black jackals #msby scenarios #atsumu miya #miya atsumu #miya osamu #osamu miya #osamu fluff #atsumu fluff #atsumu crack #osamu crack #hq crack #haikyuu crack #liv.writes #liv.laugh.love

[dandelion-roots]

[ID: a digital comic in two panels featuring bungou stray dogs characters. the first shows atsushi banging open a door and shouting, dazai-san! are you oka- the second shows a shot from the anime where chuuya is holding dazai against a wall by his neck. the text reads, homoerotic atmosphere, and four squares with text point out whats happening. they read, casual hand in pocket, chokehold, knife, and lastly um... followed by two sweat drops pointing at chuuya's knee between dazai's legs. a tiny panel in the corner shows atsushi covering his eyes with his tiger paws and blushing as he says, i'm sorry... end ID]

come here. crack open the canon with me for a minute. consider. what if atsushi hadn't listened to everyone telling him dazai would be fine and left to save him only to witness whatever the fuck was going on in that cellar. consider the bit.

#soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #skk #skk fanart #atsushi nakajima #nakahara chuuya #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bsd chuuya #bsd atsushi #im a liar it wasnt just for the bit i wanted to study that absolutely WACK perspective shot #and the colours!! its like a sauna in that cellar everything's sooo red #the next shot would be chuuya barking at atsushi abt why hes blushing #also yes ik atsushi wouldnt be able to transform only parts of him like that at that juncture but i love baby tiger paws #if were cracking the canon open anyway why not #also learned FINALLY how to make borders around brushes #first gradients now this bsd is rly opening new horizons for me

[noose-lion]

Dazai gets floor time and Chuuya gets ceiling time. We call that balance.

#bsd #my stuff #screaming into the void #and the void screams back #bungou stray dogs #bungou gay dogs #soukoku #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd headcanon #bsd crack #bsd analysis #jester thinks

[seukorei]

femzai phone doodles

#art #bsd #bungou stray dogs #femzai #fem dazai #dazai osamu #dazai bsd #bsd dazai #dazai #i cant get her out of my head #femzai crack cocaine #the braids are my roman empire

[originalartblog]

one dozen donutzai please

#ok this is my last donut post the joke will get old #the thought has been bouncing in my head for a week ever since i read @azapofinspiration's post about how asagiri probably meant #a donut filled with jelly or cream (mystery flavour) and not a donut with a hole #but then @luneariann posted a bunch of donutzais so i finally cracked #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd dazai #bsd dazai osamu #bsd fanart #nawy's doodles

[cheshire-writer]

The Problem: Mori wants Dazai as his successor. The mafia wants Chuuya as Mori's successor. Dazai doesn't want it. Cannibalism stageplay revealed that Chuuya doesn't want it either.

The solution: They deal with is skk style. They flip coins, draw straws, battle it out at the arcade. Loser has to lead the PM for a week. Winner gets time off. A week later, rinse and repeat.

Yes, they cheat. Yes, they know the other is cheating. No, it doesn't stop them from trying to out-cheat the other. No, they don't miss a beat picking up right where the other left the work, no matter the codewords, operations, secrets, etc involved that they should technically be clueless about. No, they don't think that's strange. Yes, everyone else is screaming into their pillows.

(Bonus: Dazai spends his ill-gotten time off at the agency, working for the government for a given definition of Dazai-working at a job that pays less than 0.01% of the PM boss salary. He does it to be annoying (and also for mental health reasons).

Chuuya spends his ill-gotten time off attending classy wine-tasting events, writing poetry, and being lead singer for a rock band. He's got a healthy life work balance for the first time in his life.)

#bsd #soukoku #bungou stray dogs #skk #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #bsd headcanon #bsd port mafia #bsd port mafia succession crisis #bungou stay dogs #I'd say this is crack but skk evidently excels at making crack real

[sableeira]

My drops of tears I'll turn to sparks of fire.

or ode to new beginnings

#kind of spiritual successor to the Chuuya burning car artwork #the timeline is probably incredibly wrong since Chuuya was away during dark era but in my heart Dazai leaving Chuuya’s car blowing up #and Chuuya cracking open his bottle of Petrus all happen on the same night #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bungo stray dogs #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bsd #my art #shoutout to my girlfriend who was the pose reference for this 🥰🫶

[aeshiiteiru]

soo could you write about dazai, chuuya and tecchou's red green and beige flags?

…My Flags?

— Their green, red and beige flags ft. O.Dazai, N. Chuuya, S. Tetchou

— Warnings & Notes

sfw | Mix

|| thx for the request, made me have an unwanted reality check lmao

|| kinda angsty but also fluffy and funny, those are based on my own thoughts and opinions!

m.list | writing rules

— Dazai

The green flags

He tries his best to be a good boyfriend. Of course it takes time and effort, but he really tries to give his all for you and you notice it (most of the time). He just tries his best for you (even though he has his moments)

He showers you with compliments. He wants you to know what he feels for you every step of the way. Some compliments are actually just so ridiculous it’s funny

“Mh, ‘bella! You’re so beautiful I would definitely steal your photos, make a fake account, and impress other people online!”

“That’s, uh….creepy but cute, thank you love…”

Conversation with him are never boring! He will find thousands of stupid topics just to talk to you about them! He wants to hear you laugh and see you smile as you state your opinions on all these weird things. (He probably doesn’t want to do his work smh)

The red flags

He tends to gaslight you…a lot. Mostly about that you’re just paranoid that he gaslights you. He doesn’t do it on purpose most of the time, it’s just how he is.

Unfortunately he still flirts with other women. He isn’t cheating, but the sweet words and looks still happen sometimes. He does it unintentionally, but it’s there, it happens. He says he tries to get rid of these habits, but you’re doubtful.

 Dazai runs away from his problems. Always. Whenever there is a conflict between you two he tries to brush it off and act like everything is okey. That is until he notices you’re genuinely upset with him, then he just leaves. He leaves and returns after a few hours or days of no contact and acts like nothing happened again.

The beige flags

 When he notices that he accidentally made you cry, he will jump on top of you to aggressively suck the tears off your face like some human vacuum in order to make you laugh and feel better. It’s ridiculous but it works.

Whenever you ask him what he wants to eat he always, always replies with “you” or “nothing”. No in-between, no specifics. It was funny at first, but at some point you just started to sigh and shake your head at it.

He keeps his undies that have holes in them so that he can surprise you by walking out the bathroom and tearing them off his body only leaving the waist band. He calls it the “grand reveal”. Always whenever you least expect it. Makes you question many things.

— Chuuya

The green flags

He notices the little things. You have a sparkle in your eyes whenever you see a flower you like? Expect a bouquet of these flowers on the table the next day. You pick out a vegetable from your food because you don’t like it? He noticed, and he made sure that that vegetable never appears in your house ever again.

Yeah so he is always trying to impress you with things. He often makes a fool out of himself because of it, but it brings a smile to your face so you let him do his thing.

Chuuya loves to gossip about people with you. You know the second he says “you won’t believe what happened.” Means you’re in for the hottest, spiciest tea spill in history. His gossip is always so juicy it leaves you gasping with every sentence. You love how he trusts only you with it.

The red flags

The way he expresses his anger makes you feel unsafe sometimes. You never know when he will accidentally harm you during one of his anger outbursts. It’s very worrisome to you and actually him too.

He is an alcoholic already a separate red flag, so stuff happens when he is wasted (which is often). Chuuya often tells you hurtful things during that time. It’s things he would never, ever allow to leave his mouth while sober, but we all know drunk Chuuya is not your Chuuya anymore.

Always needs to know where you are and what you’re doing. He is very, very controlling. Is it because he is worried? Possessive? Obsessive?? No one knows. But he is, and it’s suffocating sometimes. You basically have no privacy. (It’s probably because he has trust issues that you’ll leave him at some point just like others ekhem Dazai )

“So, where are you going? Who will you be with?”

“….to a bar, with just some friends..?”

“Is that so? What friends? Actually, I’ll have some of my men go with you to be sure you’ll be fine.”

“……”

The beige flags

Whenever he spills the hot tea of the day in the mafia, you’re no longer “love, dear, doll or baby” etc. No, no, that’s when you become “dawg” or “bro” and you deal with it. He is not aware of it and you never tell him. You are dawg. That’s final.

Whenever he misplaces his belongings, the first thing he does is ask you “what did you do with my (insert item)?” It doesn’t matter what it is, his phone, his hat whatever, he thinks you took it.

When you guys go to bed he scoots closer and closer over the course of the night in order to cuddle you, except he always scoots a little too much and you always end up falling off the bed, and then when you try to get him to move back a little he will complain that it’s late and you should be sleeping instead of waking him up. (He is only half awake the whole time, forgive him for being a bitch)

— Tetchou

The green flags

He respects your boundaries. When you say no, it means no, and he understands.

He never flinches when you order something no sane person would eat. That's because he also does that. (It should be a red flag that his taste in food is horrendous, but he will never judge you sooo forgiven)

He always listens to you. He might not understand a thing you're talking about, or might not get why that thing is so exciting but he will listen, and agree with everything you say to show you he is interested and is paying attention.

The red flags

Puts his job above you. You always come second. He loves you, but if the job required him to break up with you, he would without a second thought. I’m sorry, justice above all.

He is lacking in emotional intelligence. He doesn't really know how to comfort you or empathize with you which leaves you to mostly deal with the emotional distress yourself.

Sleeps with his socks on during summer. Thats all, that’s the reddest flag.

The beige flags

Whenever he's hungry and you're not he will starve himself, because he refuses to eat when you're not eating. It makes him feel bad and you don’t get why.

Whenever you ask him a question he will answer without elaboration. —

"How was work?"

"Good. As usually."

— A man of few words, but you need him to spill the details, right now.

He can't use emojis. He thinks “🙄” is someone looking up, not an eye-roll. It makes texting more difficult than it should…

Copyright © 2023 Aeshiiteiru.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd tetchou #tetchou x reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #tetchou suehiro #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd fluff #bsd flags #bsd angst #bsd crack

[leti666bigboss]

part 1

featuring: kuroo tetsuro, kozume kenma, yamamoto taketora, yaku morisuke, haiba lev, suna rintaro, the miya twins, terushima yuuji

genre: crack

warnings: terushima's might be just a liiiiiitle bit suggestive

#leti!writes #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu crack #haikyuu smau #haikyuu texts #hq #hq smau #haikyuu manga #haikyuu anime #kuroo tetsuro #kozume kenma #yamamoto taketora #yaku morisuke #haiba lev #suna rintaro #atsumu #miya atsumu #osamu #miya osamu #terushima yuuji #terushima x reader #kuroo x reader #kenma x reader #suna x reader #atsumu x reader #osamu x reader #yaku x reader #haikyuu imagines

[kitasgloves]

hq characters as me and my friends' text messages

part 2

— ♬ SFW purely crack & humor, platonic but can be perceived as romantic

Osamu & Sakusa

Iwaizumi & Suna

and yes my friend snitched on me for smoking inside his cousin's house >:(

Oikawa

my friend was out of the country last month and I was missing them lmao

Kita

this was me and one of my older guy friends, and no I don't have Spotify premium idgaf

#— ♬ ©kitasgloves #haikyuu #haikyuu crack #haikyuu texts #osamu x reader #sakusa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #suna x reader #oikawa x reader #kita x reader

[neo--queen--serenity]

why is he like this

#bsdrewatch2023 #the first few eps of season 1 have so much peak chaotic dazai content. i could not help myself #bungou stray dogs #bsd #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #dazai bsd #bsd memes #bsd crack #bsd textposts #bsd text posts #neo queen serenity’s memes #bungou gay dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd season 1 #bsd rewatch #bungou stray dogs memes

[hynko]

HAIKYUU AS TWEETS PT. 1

tw: profanity / crude humor

ft: tsukishima, yaku, oikawa, osamu, lev, noya, tanaka, bokuto, & daishou

hynko est 2021-2023 do not repost, translate or copy.

#oikawa #bokuto #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #hq fluff #hq fics #haikyuu angst #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #hq angst #hq funny #hq crack #hq smau #hq scenarios #haikyuu crack #haikyuu smau #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu osamu #lev haiba #haikyuu yaku #tsukishima kei #yaku morisuke #osamu miya #bokuto koutarou #hq x reader #hq headcanons #hq

[hotvinimon]

Miya Osamu <3

“Samu…Samu…Don’t look directly, but I can see your doppelganger… just behind you.”

You and your sweet, loving, handsome, onigiri man of a boyfriend were on a night date in the street of Shibuya. Osamu was busy in choosing what to eat first, while you took pictures. Suddenly you saw Osamu’s clown toghether with a curly haired, bitch-faced man, an orange head and an owl faced beefy boy.

To say that you were shocked would be an understatement. A guy… or I should say Samu’s clown was chatting with his friends just few meters behind your boyfriend, only his hair's more blonde, and his vibe's more... clownish.

“Doppelganger ??? what do you even me-” “CAN’T YOU FUCKING WHISPER ?? AND DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT. BE MORE SUBTLE.” you whisper yelled.

Suddenly the doppelganger looked in your direction and frowned comically and advanced towards you.

“OH MY GOSH, SAMUUUU, HE'S COMING... HE'S COMING THIS WAY!”

Samu quickly looked into the direction, and unlike you he was frowning ??? similarly like his doppelganger ??? what the heck was going on. Was there some kind of invisible mirror thing that you couldn’t see.

Even the doppelganger's buddies seem cool, like they're in on the joke.

The doppelganger was now, standing in front of you and looking at your boyfriend, like he was communicating with his eyes. Before anyone could say anything…

“OMYGODOMYGODOMYGOD… CAN I TAKE A PICTURE WITH YOU SIR ????”

All eyes are on you, but who cares? It's not every day you meet your boyfriend's mirror image.

“Oh.. of course cutie, are you a fan ??”

“Well, I’m a human but I’ve never seen my boyfriend’s clown my entire life.” you giggled like a kid.

“DON’T DO THAT”. That ‘DOPPELGANGER’ yelled at your boyfriend.

“I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING.”

“YOU ARE MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT HER. LIKE YOU MAKE AT FOOD.”

“I AM NOT.”

“YES YOU ARE”

All you could hear for next fifteen minutes was funny curse words and skin slapping sounds. Meanwhile, the curly-haired dude shoots you a concerned look.

“Ohhhh… so you are his big brother. Nice to meet you Tsum, I’m y/n, Samu’s s/o.”

Unlike your fictional brain, the ‘DOPPELGANGER’ turned out to be your boyfriend’s twin brother.

“Nice to meet you too y/n/n” Atsumu showed his signature smirk.

“IT’S MIYA TO YOU AND IT’S Y/L/N TO YOU.”

"WHAT THE HECK, BASTARD? AM I SOME GIRLFRIEND STEALER?"

"MORE LIKE AN UNINVITED DATE CRASHER."

"AT LEAST I'M EYE CANDY."

"YEAH, WELL, MOM LIKES ME MORE."

More insults fly, more slaps echo, and the furniture starts to question its life choices. Meeting your boyfriend's twin? Not too shabby after all.

Keys -

y/n - your name

s/o - sgnificant other

y/n/n - your nick name

y/l/n - your last name

Requests are open

#haikyuu #crack post #haikyuu imagines #drabble #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fic #haikyuu drabbles #hq #crack fic #miya osamu #miya atsumu #haikyuu miya osamu #haikyuu miya atsumu #hq miya atsumu #hq miya osamu #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu incorrect quotes #haikyuu x female reader #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu x you #miya osamu x y/n #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu msby #msby atsumu #msby sakusa #haikyuu sakusa #hq sakusa

[noose-lion]

Official art always draws Dazai in blue and and Chuuya in red, but I love flipping it.

This is why:

Matches they're coloring better too.

#my stuff #bsd #screaming into the void #and the void screams back #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bungou gay dogs #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bsd chuuya #nakahara chuuya #chuuya x dazai #bsd crack analysis #bsd headcanons #bsd headcanon

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

TW: Ass spanking, Dazai harassment, reposted since I accidentally deleted the original post😭

"I'm not exactly sure if I wanna have this conversation with you"

Standing in front of the desk, DAZAI chuckled as he leaned over to have a bigger influence on his coworker. Mischief was sparkling in his hazel eyes, and the smile he had on was known to be a symbol of his goofiness.

"You see Kunikida, I'm just sad for all the things you're missing out on"

Kunikida didn't even raise his head to look at him. He merely kept typing his —actually Dazai's— report while postponing beating the shit out of him, partly for the report and partly for the sake of their current conversation. Regardless of his lack of interest, Dazai joyfully continued rambling in his ear about women.

"If there's one thing I find tolerable in this dull, unamusing world, it's definitely the ladies. Ah, when my eyes fall on their enchanting faces and they smile at me, the pleasure is like sucking the soul out of my restless frame"

"...That doesn't sound healthy or charming at all, Dazai"

"You don't get it!" The brunet dramatically shook his head to the side. "I guess you never will, until you fall in the grasp of their delicate arms, and taste their sweet chap stick"

"If you don't shut up I will smack you with this laptop"

"Ah the second your lips lock, she softly hums and loses herself into you, hands travelling on your neck to your earlobe, And you only sigh and softly bite her bottom lip. And then my favorite part, which is when you gently lower your hands on his waist and squeeze her—"

Slap!

Suddenly, silence was the loudest thing in the room instead of his partner's voice, and this uncalled for event made Kunikida look up to see what caused this enjoyable occurrence, only to be met with Dazai's dumbfounded expression and widened eyes pointing at you, who was standing behind him, holding your hand with an irritated face.

"Ouch! That hurt! Your thin ass is just bones ain't it?"

Dazai was still lost for words, speechlessly looking back at you. You on the other hand, simply rolled your eyes and walked away. "Huh! I guess you really are just an asshole. You bony ass better not have broken my fucking hand"

Nobody spoke for a minute. The man put an arm on his ass and tried to figure out what the hell had just happened, when he heard the blonde's teasing voice.

"I think you should start saving for a butt implant"

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd imagines #bsd fluff #bsd crack #bsd scenarios #osamu dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai imagines #dazai scenarios #dazai fluff #dazai crack #dazai drabble #dazai fic #bsd dazai #ashthemadwriter