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#or more likely ill develop this more another time
chambers003 · 10 months
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the bogos binted 👽✨
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jackalmeat · 1 year
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I am once again tormenting myself for fun and enrichment with the fact that, quite frankly, I simply do not believe in the least that Vander's violence toward Silco began with or was isolated to The River Incident.
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doctorwhoisadhd · 16 days
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there's a certain quality the harmonies of like... early to mid 2000s alt rock has. which i am obsessed with... like i wanna do that. i NEED to figure out how to write harmonies that sound like that
#ari opinion hour#i sort of understand it but not necessarily well enough to do it on command#i think i sort of achieved the sound of it with my blaseball winter exchange song i did for snow but specifically only in the very last bit#like only with the 'im not alive anymore' part#(which sidenote i wish id had the second half faster + w more drive but its not like that was like a full recording which i could do)#i think i just need my music to have more teeth in general cause it scratches an itch that i think i must have developed due to some aspect#of music school. its probably my dissatisfaction with the attitudes in the classical world#<- which understand i say that in the same way that like my jazz prof does. the classical world doesnt have enough teeth nor enough#understanding of the way in which music is like. another art. and art needs to be able to have teeth and use elements normally regarded as#''undesirable'' on purpose because art is there to make you feel emotions and not just the positive ones and not just sadness or anger in#terms of the negative ones#art is there to make u feel ALL extant emotions and that includes boredom disgust fear jealousy pity cowardice apathy overwhelmedness etc#also the classical world i find often forgets what the word ''play'' means#i am of the opinion that perfection is a waste of time if i wanted perfect i'd ask a computer to do it for me. i want real#anyway. i forgot what this post was even about lol point is i need to figure out how to write harmonies that have that soaring quality that#like. you can hear it in like helena by mcr and wake me up by evanescence and stuff. and frankly most of the songs on three cheers for swee#revenge which i am listening to now for the first time. i need to learn more about this stuff maybe ill listen to the evanescence album tha#song is from next.#or something i should really be working on my essay but theres no way i wont have it done in time which is good i think i just mostly have#to worry about sources and stuff but even that should be relatively easy i think
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suncaptor · 9 days
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there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.
#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma#I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do#this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by#my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness#control my willingness to let things in#but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music...........#and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy#or religion because they've damaged me so much#how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma?#the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is#but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again#and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror#then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique#and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem#but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere#possibility of a future#i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed#me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life.#if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee#nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like#that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and#there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue.#it's the problem in itself.#my ambition SHOULD be smarter.#god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i#mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me#but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin#well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see.#delete
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fruiteggsaladit · 4 months
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Every once in a while I'll despair a little at finding so little Hina and/or Rui or Koorime content in general and then I'll recall how in a post asking "whatever character you're drawing their fate is yours now", a description of mine of Hina (I think I said "had illegal sex and will die in illegal childbirth (allegedly, in the manga, but yes does die) or by suicide after having said illegal childbirth (allegedly, in the anime)") picqued someone's interest and they wondered what that character was from. I told them and then they never asked me any further abt that (fair, it's a heavy description to hear on the Internet from a stranger and the yyh fandom is terrifying and Hina's presence in the story as "tragic female character willing to die in childbirth" and it being not left to much speculation Why She Was Willing To Do That aside from the expectant "well she's a female character and she was written by a man so it must've been the ye old ideal and self-sacrificing mother trope" are all fine reasons that come to mind) but I'm carrying that affirmation in my heart! I know that if a character's story is just told in an interesting way, they can in fact become interesting through that interpretation, even if at first they were expected to be boring.
#I think another couple of factors was Togashi's exhaustion with the series#and also bc his initial thought to “deconstruct the characters” was dissuaded from#but also bc a lot of intrigue for Hiei lies in him being a mysterious gremlin with no home#the only reason for giving him a home is to give him a home that will reject him#to give him a family is to give him a background where suddenly his behaviour is much less nature#and nurture in a way that a given fan might not like for him#hes no longer “gremlin” or “little jackass” he becomes a “person (character)”#hes no longer a badass he's a tragic character with the sort of backstory that in no way Leaves him a badass#this view I have of yyh fans might be incorrect but from my experience the biggest circle#fall for the very things the dt antagonists belive that there's nothing worse#than being a human being who has an impact on the world and that the world can see them#this combined w the lack of time and the lack of energy to continue it any more than he had to#is what resulted in “dead mum; she was dead bf u got here” thing & Rui feeling so guilty shed rather b killed#&Yukina being so “respectful” of Hieis decision not to reveal himself even tho she must know#who he is - never allowed to confront him & yet Hieis development is given form through *Mukuro*#another “badass character” but who needs saving she won't admit to & is in no way tied to him familially#I think Mukuros “catharsis” was meant 2b Hieis & Hieis role in that chapter was supposed 2b Yukinas Ill die on this hill!!#yyh things#Hina#Yukina#Rui#Mukuro
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difeisheng · 2 years
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ok i've said enough about five and klaus s4 breakdown rights, now what about sparrow ben 'i don't know who i am or what i'm worth outside of my family but almost everyone i grew up with just died one after the other in a matter of days and i feel like my sole surviving sibling who was the closest thing i had to a support network left me behind to get married and now she's also missing' hargreeves
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sirompp · 1 year
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just saw a l0whunt post where they KISSED feeling VERY violated even though it was properly tagged and i was the one who clicked on it anyway. but.
#IN MY DEFENSE i was just expecting them to be like standing next to each other#because like 70% of the time when i click on a l0whunt post thats jst what it IS#anyway im never projecting my aromanticness onto another character again because this is just hell#i could say all the other reasons why other more normal people hate this ship but ill be honest i dont really care about any of that!!#its just fuel to the fire to me. to help me feel more justified on why seeing it makes me genuinely want to cry#URGH. I JUST. WHY IS IT EVERYWHERE#YES im biased but SERIOUSLY it GENUINELY SUCKS AS A SHIP.#is it because its the only possible m/f ship in the show. be honest. is it#is that why this ship with no more development than about a dozen frames of blushes from 1 guy who easily blushes anyway#became more popular than fucking L//UMIT//Y#<- CENSORED SO IT WONT SHOW UP IN TAGS IVE GOT NOTHING AGAINST THE SHIP#i mean i dont really. Care. about them BUT I CAN PERFECTLY TOLERATE THEM ON SCREEN WITH NO VISCERAL DISCOMFORT WHICH MEANS ITS WELL WRITTEN#because. AGAIN. im AROMANTIC and very Very romance repulsed#<-''but siro if youre soooo romance repulsed why are you a fan of the bug and cat show'' i literally cant explain it#i genuinely dont know why i love the show sm when i literally have to cover my eyes any time they start RECIPROCATING FEELINGS EW GROSS!!#ive gone off topic#and i cant even be like. lowhunt fans dni. because. thats EIGHTY PERCENT OF THE FUCKING FANDOM#i follow like a DOZEN PEOPLE who ship it!!#actually ALL of the owl... um. the owl show people i follow ship it aside from like TWO PEOPLE#<-trying to figure out how to get my point across without this showing up in the main tags because. hoo boy. i dont wanna deal with that#oh and itd upset people or whatever. Sad! They all upset me constantly but i guess i have to be the BIGGER PERSON or whatever#UGH <-annoyed but would rather die than upset other pepole#im tired of being respectful. i want to let hatred into my heart#this is like the 1 thing in the whole entire world i let myself hold any feelings of animosity for#i just. HATRED#ANGER AND HATRED AND#twitter is so fucking smug about it too#like ill see posts with the most. stupid of things and itll be QRT'd a million times with#''lets see the lowhunt deniers explain THIS''#like. I hate your guts
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newbordeaux · 1 year
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I inevitably abandon every da2 playthrough i have but I should have a Hawke... I kinda like the idea of her starting out as sweet farmer jane with eldest daughter disease who thinks she has to take care of everyone's problems. Thinks that mages deserve freedom duhh because she IS one and grew up free and she and her family turned out fine so why shouldn't everyone! But she's in no way radical and thinks she can make peace with templars (I think the ones in Lothering were a lot less intimidating than the ones in Kirkwall. yes we're locking you up for life but we'll be nice before the guys at Kinloch Hold can ruin your life).... then everything in Kirkwall. happens. She's trying to fix things for her family and soon the entirety of Kirkwall but nothing works, almost her entire family dies, everything goes to shit and she also figures that there's no point in reasoning or playing along with templars <333 maybe some of the freak blood mages in Kirkwall were right. Time to become an unhinged girlblogger <3
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bigskydreaming · 2 years
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And the truly obnoxious thing is like, we know from countless interviews over the past few months, that like.....EVERY writer in the X-office wanted Bobby for their book. Orlando said he really wanted Bobby and Christian to stay on Marauders for his run, but they’d already been called ‘dibs’ on, part of why I was so hopeful Bobby was in X-Men Red was specifically because Ewing had mentioned wanting to use him, Spurrier’s said something about wanting him, Tini Howard mentioned something about a possible Bobby story, hell, even Leah Williams wasn’t shy about wanting to do more with him and at this point I would even have preferred....y’know what, let me not tempt fate, I’m still holding a grudge about that trainwreck of an X-Tremists mini and I need to just not go there even for the sake of hysterical, fanboy-in-a-state-of-high-dudgeon hyperbole.
I’m just.....
Pretty much every other writer in the X-office except for Percy has mentioned having a Bobby story they want to tell (literally all of the above writers being bi, just for the record) and Marvel’s like nah, let’s keep him with the straight writer who already HAD two plus years to do whatever the hell he wanted with the character and used that time and opportunity to.....literally do nothing at all.
SURE, THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.
#and literally the most common complaint about Duggan's X-Men title is that of the seven main cast members ALREADY on the book#he's barely given any of them actual focus or any kind of development whatsoever#....is it too soon for me to start hoping for an endpoint to his X-Men run so I at least know how long we've gotta be stuck with#him writing Bobby THIS time?#ugggggggggggggggh. this was NOT the news I was looking for today. Ill get over it and back to bored jaded ennui#soon enough - much like I'm managing to not be actively bothered by Taylor's Nightwing or the absence of me having#any interest in reading THAT book.....#but seriously. I only have three consistent comic book faves: Dick Grayson Kyle Rayner and Bobby Drake#all of whom are THEORETICALLY supposed to be pretty high profile and either A list or at least high B list#you would THINK it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to hope for at least ONE of three characters that high profile to have a consistent#presence in a well-written book and thus keep me occupied and entertained even if the other two aren't being utilized well or even at all#but nooooooooooooope. Kyle's still nowhere to be found as usual. Dick's being written as the walking embodiment#of every other character's support system and/or reliable showcase for them all to show off#how much more competent and better at dealing with all his enemies and threats are than he is IN HIS OWN BOOK#and Bobby's.....moving laterally from one book where he does fuck all but bring in readers for a writer who has zero interest in turning#that reader interest into actual storylines for him.....to another book where hey guess what? he'll most likely continue to do fuck all but#bring in readers for the same damn writer who has zero interest in turning that reader interest into actual storylines for him#YAY I LOVE COMICS THE END
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crunchycrystals · 8 months
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i was reading some of my old journal entries and i just feel so sad noticing how young i am but also how shitty i've felt for a while
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groovylittleclown · 8 months
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I wanna ramble about my little stories and characters but that means I have to work on them and I don't have the spoons for that.. sob sob.. (/silly)
If anyone is curious about any of them, I can give a little blurb!! Most are newer ideas and haven't been smoothed out, so I'll probably be making stuff up as I go. But making stuff up is writing!!
I talked a bit about Ollie and Lucky Against the World and No Flash Photography Please here. Those are my oldest stories I think. Against the World (oalatw for short because that's a lot of typing(no I don't know how to pronounce that, haha!!)) is definitely the one I poured most of my heart in. I haven't done anything for it in a bit, and I still need to fix up my characters, but I think about them a lot. A new development is that Jasper really likes collecting bolts and screws and others of that sort. Like, whenever Lucky goes to the hardware store to buy stuff for Marsh's robotics club or the sudden passion projects of Bonnie, Skye, and Ollie or even for their camera repair shop, Jasper will come with. Jasper got them special store time walkie talkies just for when Lucky is running to the hardware store. Cause Lucky and Jasper are the only ones who like going! Ollie disappears down the paint isle never to be seen again. Bonnie stares at the lamps like she's a moth in heaven. Skye just doesn't like going. Marsh sits in the cart the whole time. And Holly is banned from the hardware store. Wren and Wilbur (the parents) stopped going after Lucky took over the trips and just leaves them a little list of the things that they need and some money.
Lucky actually does most of the shopping in the house. The parents are busy with work, Ollie and Bonnie and Skye are all doing in person college, Lucky is "doing college from home" (*cough* dropped out and hasn't told anyone *cough*), and Marsh and Jasper and Holly are all going to their own schools.
Occasionally Colin stops by with some goodies and treats, but he doesn't really do the shopping. Colin is Wren's ex. He's the dad of Bonnie, Ollie, Jasper, and Holly. I could go on about their wacky family past and whatever Colin is going. But I won't because I want to talk more about Lucky's job(s).
So in this world, it's customary for kids to live at home through college or stay with family in a different town, rather than move out or get dorms and stuff. The dorms are only for people who do not have family where the college is, or who NEED to leave. The kids who are doing school from home usually get at least two part time jobs because the only course load is notably lighter than the brick and mortar course load. (Disclaimer, I have not gone to college, I am pulling this out of my ass.) So Lucky used to be in college for mechanics/engineering. That is usually a brick and mortar course, but Lucky started college while they were still in high school, so they were allowed to be online, and just never moved over.
Lucky works for the Snowthorne library, and Cat's Eye Cafe(a silly joke because they are cats and when Wilbur met his wife Elena, she gave him a Tiger's Eye stone), which is their dad's little coffee shop. In addition to this, Lucky runs a little at home repair shop to make a bit more money. So they'll fix things like toasters and game consoles. They specialize in cameras, and they have worked on things like cars and fridges. .. For some reason. For the bigger jobs, Lucky will go to the client's house and do their little repair stuff. So Lucky needs to run to the hardware store quite often.
Oh! And another reason Jasper likes going to the hardware store is because he is trying to learn how to make his own ghost buster equipment. .. it's not going so well, but they're trying!! Marsh and Lucky help him a bit. Marsh doesn't really specialize in that kinda stuff though. He does a lot of bot fighting type stuff. Cause it's cool.
Can you tell I like Lucky? I like Lucky a lot. I have also rambled for FAR too long, very sorry about that. I gotta work on spreading it to smaller thought dumps more frequently. Rather than one massive blurb once every blue moon. Haha!!
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arolesbianism · 11 months
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Uh oh (is having Wormwood thoughts)
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Amity Park
In the Fenton's house it was normal for the food to look weird, it even came back to life and attacked you.
Danny was raised with this and while knowing that others did not have the same problem as having to fight your food regularly, it was still in a way normal.
Having said that it never occurred to him that ingesting such ecto-contaminated food would cause several problems and heavy harm to normal people.
His tolerance went up after his half death, but it wasn't a new development. Jazz ate the same food he did so did his parents and they were fine, healthy even.
Others living in Amity were also resistant to the ecto-contamination.
After all opening a rift into another plane of existence and continuing to let it be open and in use had its consequences. Each moment more and more ecto was absorbed by the town, into the land, the air, into the very people living, growing there,and quickly their bodies evolving along with their environment.
The same could not be said about outsiders.
Anyone who stopped in Amity would grow ill, many having to be hospitalized in the near future after leaving the town.
This continued until the towns nearby started avoiding Amity Park entirely and telling travelers to do the same.
Of course many travelers would take it a bet or were simply just too curious.
Many could not even pass the border to enter Amity park without feeling horribly wrong.
Amity Park soon became isolated to the outside world without even realizing it. Now the only time you saw them where if they themselves decided to leave the town for whatever reason.
Even then people began being able to tell who was from Amity because they just felt wrong like they weren't normal. Some people were so sensitive to their presence that they would become sick just by being near the person.
It was like the Uncanny Effect but different, so much worse.
Rumors started to spread after a long time and soon enough it caught the attention of a hero who shared it with others until it reached the attention of the Justice League.
~
John Constantine taking one glance at Amity: Fuck no! You could never pay me enough to go near that!
Danny casually eating a Nasty Burger after a fight: Damn, I know I look beat up but you don't have to be so rude about it!
~
Just an Idea
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malleleothreesome · 5 months
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Leona who is pining after you...
💛 summary: Cohesive blurbs about things Leona would do and what he would be like if he were pining after you. ༶༶༶ 💛 warnings: gender neutral reader, unedited, pretty much just a stream of my thoughts. There is cursing. Very angsty but also has romance. Mentions of depressive thoughts. A very raw look into Leona's mind. There is smut (wet dream) in the middle, marked with 🔞 if you want to skip to the next bullet. ༶༶༶ 💛 word count: 4.7k because I'm delulu
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💛 Leona who is pining after you... tries to gaslight himself and cling to any sort of logical explanation he can come up with to try to convince himself that he definitely does not have feelings for you. It was probably just a one-time thing, and he just needs to find a way to get you out of his head. He's never thought about anyone this way before, so it's definitely just an error in his brain chemistry or something. It was only a coincidence that he happened to be thinking about you at that particular time, and if you had never been on his mind at all, his heart wouldn't be beating so fast every time he interacts with you. He would never allow himself to develop feelings for anyone, especially you, so he must not actually have any. It's really that simple. It couldn't possibly be that he's fallen for some weird, magicless human, right? Right?! There has to be something medically wrong with him! He must be crazy to have these kinds of thoughts about a stranger who just randomly poofed into existence at the beginning of the semester. Why did you invade his dreams? It doesn't matter! What the hell is wrong with him?!
It has to be a mistake, because there is no way he would EVER fall for someone as annoying and boring as you are, even if you do seem to have a better understanding of him than the people who have known him his whole life, and you treat him like he actually matters instead of seeing him as the scumbag you probably should have gotten to know better before giving him your time and attention. It's not like he genuinely cares what you think of him, anyway – he’s just grateful that he doesn't have to deal with another person treating him like a failure or a lazy, worthless piece of shit.
The way you look at him like he could be someone worth loving despite his constant tirade of anger is definitely not a key factor in him caring for you. Your smile and laugh makes his chest feel funny, and the fact that he is suddenly hyper-aware of his body when he's around you is probably just a symptom of mental or physical illness. Maybe he’s finally eaten too much red meat and he’s about to succumb to heart disease at the ripe age of 20. Perhaps he simply hasn't rubbed one out in a while and he’s thinking with his dick and not his head? He's definitely not attracted to you, and he's absolutely not thinking about what it would be like to kiss you right now. That would just be insane, and he can't believe he even let himself entertain the thought! He’d rather die than think about what it would be like to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him as you sit on his lap, looking down at him with that beautiful smile and those cunning eyes of yours, gently stroking his face as you lean down to press your lips against his… oh, god dammit!
💛 Leona who is pining after you… finally lays down in surrender to the fact that, alright, maybe he does have feelings for your dumb ass – against all odds. He convinces himself that he’s only humoring this pathetic little crush because it makes his monotonous, tiresome days a little more riveting. Lions are predators, and the thrill of the hunt is a key part of their nature, after all. Before you, all he had to look forward to was staring at the ceiling in his dark room for most of the day until the stars showed up in the sky, or until he got roped into housewarden drama and became too frustrated to do anything other than restlessly pace around Savanaclaw before eventually confining himself back to the comforting solitude of his room. He tells himself he might as well allow himself the small luxury of thinking about someone who doesn’t entirely annoy the shit out of him, because he could sure as hell use the emotional relief. At least this way, he isn’t actively thinking about how much he hates his life, and how much he hates himself for letting it become this way. Besides, what would be the harm in letting himself entertain the idea that maybe, just maybe – if he was lucky enough – you could be the first person to ever break down the walls he built to keep himself from getting hurt by other people? Plus, if nothing else, you make for such a pretty daydream.
Every moment he spends with you makes him want you to keep sticking around even after everything is said and done. You can actually keep up with his banter, which is probably why he can actually stand being around you in the first place. No one else is capable of keeping up with his quick wit, or of providing him with a good challenge. You aren't scared off by his harsh demeanor, and you're able to stand up to him when he gets a little too overbearing. You don't take his bullshit, but you still care about his well being and treat him with respect. Despite his public struggles, you don’t see him as some sort of charity case. He's never met anyone else who is able to be so firm with him, but gentle at the same time. He didn't know someone could have such a strong presence without even having magic, but you're somehow always able to pull the rug out from under him, showing him that you're much more powerful than he initially gave you credit for. You're a real pain in his ass sometimes, but you're also the only person in years who's made him feel like life might actually be worth living. Maybe these feelings aren't so bad after all…
💛 Leona who is pining after you… starts leaving his room more often and even attending classes again, hoping he'll run into you on campus. If he doesn't see you, that would suck, but he knows if he stays in his room all day, then he'd risk losing the chance to spend the day with you completely. Besides, if there's even the slightest possibility, seeing you could be the highlight of his day and make even his shittiest days seem almost bearable. When you finally show up, he throws a casual greeting and a nonchalant raise of a single brow, pretending like he coincidentally ran into you in the crowd and totally didn't memorize your class schedule. When your face lights up, telling him you were glad to run into him, his pulse races and for a split second, a goofy grin flashes on his face and he desperately starts fighting his tail from swishing eagerly behind him. All he does is mumble in agreement, then shove his hands in his pockets, rolling his eyes like this isn't what he's been waiting for since he woke up. He says he might as well join you in the cafeteria, because he's starving and it's that time anyway, so whatever.
As you enter the lunch line, your face falls in disappointment when you realize your favorite sandwich is sold out. Leona expected something like this would happen, so he asked Ruggie to grab him one of that type of sandwich along with his usual order, on the chance that he would get to spend lunch with you. He looks to his right, glancing at your slumped shoulders as your mood seems to deflate a little as a frown forms on your face. He steps forward and grumbles an off-hand comment that he snagged one earlier for himself, but since you look so pitiful, he'll let you have it, only because he doesn't want to deal with your incessant whining the whole lunch. When you gape up at him, shocked by his thoughtful gesture, his face starts burning red as he quickly turns away, aggressively stuffing a bite of food in his face to make himself look distracted. When he happens to catch your thankful eyes glistening at him, it feels like the air has been punched right out of his lungs, and the small smile and sincere gratitude tugging on the corner of your lips causes his stomach to do backflips. How annoying that his usually stoic demeanor always falls apart in front of you.
💛 Leona who is pining after you... constantly teases you and tries to embarrass you, attempting to make it sound like you're the one pining for him (even if you're not!) just to try to distract you from the truth. He teases you relentlessly, hoping it’ll make it so you won't feel confident calling him out on the little ways he treats you differently than everyone else. He loves seeing you get flustered trying to deny it, but he also uses it as an opportunity to study your reactions, trying to deduce your real feelings for him by the color in your cheeks, the wavering of your voice, how often you avert your eyes, and how quickly you fire back with an argument. The smirk that emerges on his face tells you exactly that he's not convinced, even if you deny everything. He may be subtle about it, but he uses every opportunity he can find to feel you out, to see if there's even the slightest possibility you might feel something for him. He'll never let you know how badly he wants it to be true with every fiber of his being. He’d be absolutely thrilled if you confessed to him, but he’ll never show it, because it's far more comfortable hiding behind sarcasm. His prideful, guarded heart prevents him from expressing genuine positive emotions and potentially opening himself up to any type of mockery.
💛 Leona who is pining after you... slowly becoming more attached to the idea of you falling for him. As the weeks go by and he hears you giggle as you argue with him, his thoughts linger a bit more when they try to calculate why he's not actually feeling burnt out from spending so much time with you. His patience with the rest of the world starts waning, not really bothering to deal with anyone or anything that could distract him from basking in your aura for as long as possible. He even takes a more active role in interacting with you, whether you two are chatting as he sits on a bench in the botanical gardens, or hanging out after-hours in his room, hoping that this could eventually become a common routine. He loves learning about you and the world you come from. When you open up about your background, he enjoys getting a glimpse into your mind. His brain starts rapidly filing away little details about you, creating a catalog of thoughts for each of his favorite things about you, or the little quirks you have that he secretly finds endearing. The memories of conversations where you both held each other's gaze for a fraction of a second longer than normal or the accidental touches that cause his heart to skip a beat come to life with a vibrance never seen in other parts of his memory bank. The time you grabbed his hand because the tree branches kept making “spooky” noises around you and the time you playfully messed up his hair (even daring to cop a feel of his ear in the process!), are some of his favorite memories to revisit.
As you two grow closer and more comfortable with each other, he pretends to be annoyed at you more often, only because he wants to test how well you can read him, and also how far he can push you. He revels in the way he feels a spark in his chest and a faint smile tugs at the corner of his lips whenever your eyes meet. He tries hard to remind himself that the growing heat rising to his face every time you grin at him is all because of the temperature. His playful touches start to become more sensual, his voice dips deeper and more seductive as his hands linger on your skin, his breath fanning against your face and neck with every taunting word spoken. He hates himself for loving the way you bite your lip and blush under his gaze as he continues to run his hand up your arm, causing your eyelids to flutter. He loves the feeling of power your vulnerable, affectionate expression grants him, the rush of endorphins so great he thinks his entire body might collapse. When he pulls his hand back, the stinging absence leaves him in a state of panic, terrified that this might have been the moment you'd realize how he feels about you and finally flee. In an effort to swallow his vulnerability and save face, he'll cover up his aroused desire with aggression. With a bite in his tone, he'll lash out at you, mocking the way you acted so touch-starved and desperate in the heat of the moment, even though the only one truly desperate here is him. He has to force himself to maintain eye contact and an air of dominance with you while he snaps at you, even as he feels his throat tighten, heart slamming against his ribs. He metaphorically shoves you away and leaves before he loses control, before his raw affection for you spills from his lips like a confession.
💛 🔞 Leona who is pining after you... fast asleep as he lies alone in bed, your figure haunting his dreams. Right before he fell asleep, he was having a particularly bad day and he found himself clinging to a fantasy of holding you in his arms, using you as an anchor to help him process the dread of reality. On a typical night, all he has are his regrets and unanswered questions swirling around in his subconscious, but tonight is different – he falls asleep dreaming about being curled up against your warmth, wondering what it would be like for you to stroke his hair, gently reminding him that there's at least one good thing to wake up for, no matter how empty the day may feel.
As he falls deeper into his slumber, his eyelids begin to twitch and his long eyelashes tickle his flushed cheekbones. He finds himself lost within a dreamy state that feels so very real to him as your face fades into focus. You're kneeling beside him in the bed, and his body is covered in the sheets, with your arms wrapped underneath his shoulder. He can barely tell whether or not this is really a dream at this point as you rest your head against his. He can feel his body stirring and his tail twitching, roused by the comforting and blissful affection. The way you smile at him as you run your thumb along the curvature of his sharp jawline stirs a dormant ache in his soul as you lean forward and leave featherlight kisses in the crook of his neck, causing him to whimper under his breath. He buries his nose in the locks of your hair, desperately wrapping his arms around your waist, pushing your face deeper into the space between his neck and shoulder, craving the coziness and comfort of being physically close to the source of his yearning. In his dreams, your lips are able to be as soft and gentle as they are fierce and demanding, as the grip he has on reality grows weaker the longer he lets himself be trapped under the intoxicating spell you cast upon him, rendering him at the mercy of his deepest desires.
His breath becomes more labored and hitched, his temperature rising as a flush spreads across his face. His body starts moving involuntarily and he buries his hips further into his mattress, his aching cock desperate to be touched, throbbing as his precum smears against the sheets. He begins humping the bed, whining from the friction against his bare skin as he pulls you closer in his dream, shamelessly chasing after the erotic thoughts racing through his mind, fueled by the illusion of having you in his possession – ready to be ravished and worshiped by him and him alone. His full lips part as he moans your name. He thrashes around in his bed, a tingling, aching need radiates throughout his groin as his back arches off of the sheets, grinding his cock against the fabric of his blanket. He can almost feel the warmth of your body as he bucks his hips upwards once more, desperate for your heat. His fingers twitch as they clutch tighter onto the fabric, desperately trying to grab onto the illusion of you instead, wishing he could feel the texture of your skin underneath his fingertips. In his hazy state, he bites his lips and runs his fingers down his sculpted abdomen, his hand with a mind of its own, aching to reach lower. With a sigh of pleasure, he teases the tip of his leaking, throbbing erection as the muscles in his legs quiver with anticipation. He pushes his thumb against the slit of his tip, already wet with his excitement. He slowly rubs circles around his cockhead, causing his breath to hitch and his cock jerk at the sensation. In his unconscious mind, it's not his hand gripping his shaft – it's yours.
He wraps his large hand around the length of his dick, letting out a moan of pleasure as he starts to stroke, his pace increasing steadily with each pump, imagining what it would be like to have you kneeling between his spread legs, looking up at him as you jerk him off, begging to be fucked by him. His cock twitches and aches to be inside of you, to see your lewd expression as his dick fills you, his senses overwhelmed by the sight of you under him, sprawled out, sweaty and splayed wide open for the taking, gasping for air in between broken moans. His hips buck into his hand and he lets out a low growl as he feels the pressure building within him, feeling himself getting closer to the edge. He quickens the pace as he squeezes the base of his cock, stroking faster and faster, trying to keep up with the intensity of his dream. He wants to feel your velvety walls squeezing around him, milking every drop of cum from his throbbing cock. He pants heavily as the sensation of ecstasy courses through his body, moaning your name as he orgasms, his back arching off of the bed as he cums all over his hand, shooting thick ropes of hot cum onto his abs. He slows his pace, riding out his orgasm, lazily stroking his cock as it pulsates through his veins, feeling the aftershocks of pleasure tingling down his spine. With a final moan of satisfaction, he collapses on his bed, utterly spent from his activities. The euphoria of his orgasm fades away as he comes back to reality, slowly finding himself coming into consciousness. As he opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is the mess he made. He groans as he rolls out of bed, annoyed that he has to clean up after his wet dream before he can go back to sleep.
💛 Leona who is pining after you... falls into despair when he realizes his stupid feelings for you aren't going away – they're actually getting stronger by the day. You’ve made him feel like the world's not actually so cruel anymore, but he knows that his tiny, fragile castle is sure to crumble at any moment. Nothing good ever stays his way, does it? He's been telling himself that this was all some game. It's not like he actually wanted to be in a relationship with you, right? That would be far too much work. But what if you were actually worth the time? What if he could have someone who knew every aspect of his being and still loved and accepted him? What if he could be the person who's worthy of your beautiful, unrelenting love? Even as he chastises himself for entertaining the possibility of a relationship with anyone – especially a herbivore like you – a desperate, longing ache burrows into his bones, overpowering the cold, empty hollowness within him that had haunted him his whole life. This can't be love that he's feeling, and if it is... he knows now that love is the only strategy game in existence he's terrible at playing. There's no doubt in his mind he'll make the worst decisions imaginable because his entire being is clouded with insecurity. He is painfully aware that if he were to ever open himself up to the possibility of being with you, then his first thought would be of a thousand ways you would hurt him. He tortures himself with worries and fear, letting himself be consumed by anxiety.
The thing that frightens him most is becoming reliant on someone else for his happiness. Having someone whose opinion he actually values not thinking he is good enough for them is his worst nightmare. If there's one thing life has taught him, it's better to not have anyone at all. Besides, he doesn't even deserve you. There isn't a soul in this world who deserves someone like you – someone so selfless, understanding, empathetic, and forgiving. If you were his, you'd suffer. Your light would slowly flicker out from the darkness he would drown you in, just like everything else in his life that ever mattered to him. There is so much beauty to you that would go to waste in his care – why would someone as perfect as you ever settle for someone like him, anyway? There's no way you'd ever return his feelings. And even if you did… could he even be brave enough to allow you in? Does he have the strength to accept a heart freely offered to him? Will the scars and darkness within him allow him to accept such pure and unconditional love? He can't possibly be selfish enough to ask you to take the chance on him. You deserve to be with someone who is strong and complete – someone who can give you their whole being, wholly and unreservedly – not someone who is afraid of showing weakness, for fear of you leaving him broken-hearted. Someone who would actually have the capacity to love you like you should be loved. Not a broken, shattered shell of a Prince that could only ever give you pieces of his heart that are full of cracks.
Why the fuck does his chest hurt just thinking about the fact that you would be better off without him? It feels as if someone were stabbing his heart repeatedly, and no matter what he does, the wounds refuse to close and the blood continues to ooze through the cracks. He stares up at the dark ceiling of his dorm room as a single tear rolls down his cheek for the first time in years as he tries to cope with this excruciating feeling of hopelessness, despondency, and despair. The fear that you will one day be gone from his life grips his soul, his heart pleading with him to simply confess, yet his twisted mind forces him to remind himself of his inadequacy. What a sad, pathetic sight you would see, the once fearsome lion, pitifully pawing at your ankles as his heart poured itself at your feet, praying for the warmth of your love and the validation of your approval.
💛 Leona who is pining after you… hates how obsessed he is with you and your opinion of him. Every day he finds himself trying to be better because you make him want to try harder to make the world a brighter place. Maybe you're right, maybe he doesn't need to be King in order to lead people and do great things. Because of the friendship you two have nourished, he finally feels comfortable opening up to you and talking to you about what he's going through: his past, and how much he truly cares about everyone's safety, success, and overall happiness – a sentiment that's foreign to everyone who's ever known him in the past. Although he still can't bring himself to vocalize his emotions aloud, you now truly understand the message his eyes are always trying to relay, no matter how small the glimpse: even if he was destined for a fate in the shadows, his biggest hope is to someday become the leader he was supposed to be. His newfound vulnerability allows you to slowly chip off the armor that guards his heart and bring him peace, healing his wounded spirit. Because of you, he now understands what it feels like to be valued and treasured by another, and he feels empowered enough to put the effort into doing something to change his future for the better. It scares him how badly he wants to impress you, wanting you to be proud of how he's matured.
Before taking on the daunting task of bettering his Kingdom, he starts with something small – making a positive difference in your life. You actually make him feel useful. He loves the way you look up at him with admiration. He knows now that one of the reasons he fell for you so hard is because you always ask for his advice – knowing damn well he's the smartest person in this godforsaken place – and you actually take it. You listen to him and you value his opinions. Seeing things work out for the better when you take his advice and enact his plans gives him a rush of pride and confidence. It motivates him to keep working hard to have good ideas that benefit the world. He's always enjoyed helping people even though he's bad at putting it into words, or showing his true intentions, instead preferring to keep people guessing while he hides behind his indifference and nonchalant attitude. But now, thanks to you, he finds that the more time he spends caring about helping the people around him, the more understanding and honest he is with himself, the happier he becomes. He's feeling more confident stepping up to the plate, having less fear of letting himself or the other people he cares about down.
He started feeling honored to be the housewarden for Savanaclaw again and he actually takes the responsibility seriously, tackling issues and standing his ground with the students and teachers. He wants to set an example for others, making you proud of his actions by raising his standard. When it comes to issues in the school and within his territory, he's calm and diplomatic as he addresses issues – making sure everyone is heard and everyone walks away satisfied. No longer is he plagued by a lack of enthusiasm to make real, significant changes. He now genuinely enjoys himself, striving to go beyond his expectations to overcome his shortcomings, always pushing himself to think outside of the box. It's like the Leona of his past no longer exists, and he doesn't feel any resentment or shame at the thought, simply believing it's for the better that he finally has the strength to make room for a version of himself he can enjoy instead. Because of your guidance and patience with him, he’s slowly learning to no longer fight his introspective nature, instead choosing to work hard every day to embrace all aspects of himself – whether they be negative or positive. Every day is far from perfect, but he's allowing himself the respite of leaning on your shoulder, even though for now, it’s just as a friend and trusted ally, not as a lover. For the first time, he's happy with where his life is going and the person he is becoming. Through this whole experience of falling for you, he learned that there are still things worth fighting for, regardless of if you one day soon reciprocate his feelings or not. At least, that's what he keeps telling himself.
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I was nervous to write this because we all know that canon Leona leaves much to be desired when it comes to his story and the complexities of his character. I've spent over a year of loving him, meticulously crafting who I think he is and who I want him to be. Most days, I'm pretty sure Leona Kingscholar is just a character who exists solely inside of my mind, completely separate from the source material. So, if this resonates with you, I am very glad! Thank you for reading. I hope I was able to bring justice to my beloved Leona! If you would like to see this series with another character, please let me know. 💛 Erica Malleleothreesome
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welcometoteyvat · 2 years
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hrmmmm I’m probably gonna log into genshin tomorrow get my primos and speedrun the quest before college; haven’t been feeling genshin and I’m not too fond of the new characters OTL
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shiftersandspacebirds · 8 months
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Alien Questionnaire - A Biological Perspective
A while ago, somebody linked me a very comprehensive worldbuilding questionnaire. For most aspects of a fictional society, it was great, but I noticed it assumed that anyone using it was making up a fictional human society, or at least a society of beings very similar to humans. As such, there was almost nothing in the biology department, which to me is one of the best parts! Thus, this questionnaire was born.
These questions are designed to help people worldbuild from a biological foundation. As such, the questionnaire only touches lightly on other aspects of a fictional society, and is more of a jumping off point. I wrote it with the aim of using it to develop aliens, but it should be suitable for any project with non-humanoid species, such as sapient terrestrial animals.
Have fun! I'd love to see your answers :)
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General Anatomy How many limbs do they have? Do they have limbs at all?
What are their primary manipulators? Where are they located? How does this affect their tool use, building ability, etc?
What kind of body covering do they have, e.g. hair, scales, feathers? How do they clean it? Do they shed this covering constantly, or all at once at certain times? 
Can they maintain a constant body temperature? If not, how do they deal with changing environmental temperatures? 
What kind of habitat do they live in? Both specific habitat, and broader such as on land vs in water.
What adaptations do they have for living in this habitat?
What kind of creature did they evolve from?
What are the similarities and differences to their closest living relatives? 
What resource(s) is the most necessary and urgent for them? E.g. for many animals, but not all, it’s water.
What are some common mutations? E.g. eye colours, ability to digest lactose in humans.
What injuries or illnesses are considered disabling? 
How is their healing ability? Can they regenerate? If they can, is that limited to certain body parts or a certain number of times?
Senses What senses do they have? E.g. sight, smell, electroreception, etc.
How good are those senses?
Which of their sense/s do they use the most in everyday life?
How might this choice of sense impact the way they interact with the world? 
Can they detect things that Earth creatures cannot? If yes, how and why?
Movement  How do they move? Do they walk, crawl, fly, etc? 
If they have multiple modes of movement, which is preferred, and why?
Which part/s of their body do they use to move?
What is their speed and endurance like? 
How agile are they? 
Do they rely mainly on their own bodies for travel, or do they use pack animals and machines? 
How often do they move around? Are they mainly sedentary, do they move a lot within a set area, do they migrate, etc?
Do they have different levels of mobility depending on age, sex, or other biological group? E.g. young barnacles are able to swim, while adults are anchored permanently to a surface. 
Reproduction and Lifecycle  How many sexes are there? 
Are there differences between the sexes (ignoring the reproductive system)? 
Are there different castes, such as in honeybees or naked mole rats? If so, what is the function of each caste? 
Are differences in sex or caste used to justify discrimination or hierarchy? How might these ideas differ in different populations? 
Do they have a concept of gender? If so, is gender affected by sex, caste, or some other factor?
How do they attract a mate? Do they release a chemical into the air, do an elaborate display, etc?
Does one individual try to actively woo another, or is courtship more mutual?
What do they find attractive in members of the same species?
What is the usual reproductive partnership? E.g. two individuals, one main reproducing individual with a harem, no set partner, etc. 
How long do they live?
How are young brought into the world? Live birth, eggs, spores, etc?
Is producing young a painful, dangerous process, or is it easy?
How much parental investment is there? Are there many young with little investment, or few young with a lot of investment (r vs K strategy)? Or is it somewhere in the middle? 
How many offspring are produced at a time? Think about how attitudes towards children may differ between a species that produces one or two, and a species that produces dozens or even hundreds at a time.
How do they grow? Are they born looking like miniature adults, gradually growing bigger? Do they have specific phases of high growth, like puberty? Do they have a larval phase, metamorphosis? 
How self-sufficient are they as young? Can they move around and feed themselves as soon as they are born? Do they require parental care? 
What is the usual structure of childcare? Single or multiple parents/related individuals? Communally raised? 
Is sex purely for reproduction, or does it serve other purposes?
What kind of sexuality is considered the norm? This doesn’t just refer to same/other sex pairings, but the culture around sex in general.
Diet and Foodchain What is their diet? Are they carnivores, omnivores, frugivores, insectivores, etc?
Do they feed off an unusual source, for example rocks, metals, or (in appropriate settings) something like magic or souls?
What physical adaptations do they have for this diet? 
Is their diet very restricted, or can they have a wide range of foods?
How often do they eat? What is the culture around mealtimes, if any?
Are they prey for other organisms? For each other?
If they are, how do they deal with it? Do they fight back, have barriers, or do they accept it as a part of life?
If they are hunters themselves, what is their attitude to killing other organisms? Are they respectful? Prideful of their kill? Is it completely trivial? 
If they are hunters, how do they hunt? Are they solitary or packhunters? Are certain members of the group designated to hunt? 
Are the results of foraging or hunting shared, or is it everyone for themself?
Are they parasitic, parasitised, or in a symbiotic relationship with any other organisms? 
Body Rhythms How often do they sleep?
What time of the day are they most active? Are they nocturnal, diurnal, crepuscular? 
Do they generally sleep for one long period a day, multiple shorter periods throughout, or something in between? 
Do they sleep to cope with extreme temperatures or bad conditions, i.e. hibernate or aestivate?
Do they have any biological processes that disrupt their life e.g. moulting, reproductive cycles, etc?
If yes, how does their society accommodate for these processes? Does it accommodate them at all? 
Communication What is their main method of communication? Sound, visuals, scent, etc? Think about their main sense and how this would affect communication.
What is their body language like? What small moving parts might aid their body language?
If they have multiple methods of communication, are they all given equal weight, or is one considered higher than others? 
Society How sociable are they? 
If social, what is the usual social structure? 
Are there hierarchies? How strict or relaxed are the roles?
How are disputes usually settled? Is it more common to be violent or appease the other party? 
If not social, what is the reaction to being with other individuals? Do they become aggressive or stressed? Do they tolerate each other? 
What is the usual size of a community? Do they have communities at all? 
Do they have an in-group vs out-group mentality? If so, how strong is it? This generally relates to how scarce or plentiful resources were during their evolution, and how territorial their ancestors were.
What kind of bonds do they form? 
On the spectrum of individualistic to community-oriented, where do they fall?
Do they have a strong sense of personal identity? Think about how this might tie in with the previous question. 
What are the main things they derive identity from? Occupation, gender, family ties, etc?
Do they have names? If yes, how are these names formed? Are they given by another party or chosen by the individual?
Have they domesticated any creatures? If so, what do they use these creatures for?
Do they have any unusual relationships with other creatures on their planet (beyond predation, parasitism or mutualism)?
Do they produce art? What are their main forms of artistic expression? Think about how this will be linked to their main sense(s), communication method, and/or primary manipulators.
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GLOSSARY Primary manipulator: Main body part used to manipulate objects, e.g. hands in humans, trunks in elephants, feet in parrots.
Sedentary: Inactive, staying in the same place.
Caste (reproductive): A group within a species with differences in body type and reproductive ability.
Symbiosis/Mutualism: Interactions where both parties benefit, e.g. cleaner fish getting a meal in exchange for picking irritating parasites off larger fish.
Aestivate: To become inactive during hot or dry periods, usually involving being sealed in mucus or soil e.g. lungfish, snails. 
Reproductive cycle: Regular hormone fluctuations that affect an animal’s fertility or attitude towards breeding. The cycles can range from months to years and can include things such as antler growth in male deer, heat cycles, and menstruation in humans.
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