#or something i should really be working on my essay but theres no way i wont have it done in time which is good i think i just mostly have

[doctorwhoisadhd]

there's a certain quality the harmonies of like... early to mid 2000s alt rock has. which i am obsessed with... like i wanna do that. i NEED to figure out how to write harmonies that sound like that

#ari opinion hour #i sort of understand it but not necessarily well enough to do it on command #i think i sort of achieved the sound of it with my blaseball winter exchange song i did for snow but specifically only in the very last bit #like only with the 'im not alive anymore' part #(which sidenote i wish id had the second half faster + w more drive but its not like that was like a full recording which i could do) #i think i just need my music to have more teeth in general cause it scratches an itch that i think i must have developed due to some aspect #of music school. its probably my dissatisfaction with the attitudes in the classical world #<- which understand i say that in the same way that like my jazz prof does. the classical world doesnt have enough teeth nor enough #understanding of the way in which music is like. another art. and art needs to be able to have teeth and use elements normally regarded as #''undesirable'' on purpose because art is there to make you feel emotions and not just the positive ones and not just sadness or anger in #terms of the negative ones #art is there to make u feel ALL extant emotions and that includes boredom disgust fear jealousy pity cowardice apathy overwhelmedness etc #also the classical world i find often forgets what the word ''play'' means #i am of the opinion that perfection is a waste of time if i wanted perfect i'd ask a computer to do it for me. i want real #anyway. i forgot what this post was even about lol point is i need to figure out how to write harmonies that have that soaring quality that #like. you can hear it in like helena by mcr and wake me up by evanescence and stuff. and frankly most of the songs on three cheers for swee #revenge which i am listening to now for the first time. i need to learn more about this stuff maybe ill listen to the evanescence album tha #song is from next. #or something i should really be working on my essay but theres no way i wont have it done in time which is good i think i just mostly have #to worry about sources and stuff but even that should be relatively easy i think

[trashworldblog]

What is hmbomberguy (I can’t spell) ur reblogs are making me so curious but I cannot handle getting into more content/ content drama rn.

hi! yes. so hbomberguy is one of those 2hr long video- twice a year or less youtubers. who make content exploring a topic (like plagerism on youtube, vaccines and autism, etc).

his new video talks about video essay type youtubers who steal all their writing from documentries, books, articles, etc. and makes thousands of dollars off of other peoples work.

james sommerton is the main focus of the video, but he also shows how iiluminaughtii stole from documentries (and even listed the piriting site she watched it from as a source? lol) and internet historian stole an entire article, format, visuals, and all, and got 10 million views for it (and stole so much his video got taken down) and theres this other video game guy that got hired at ign and the got fired from ign for piriting and is a homophobic right wing guy?? (details are fuzzy, this is a 4 hour video i watched once, forgive me).

um. but, the james sommerton stuff just gets crazier and crazier the way this guy just makes a ton of money by lying to his community. he ends up accidently stealing work from one of his patreon members (he stole on purpose, i assume he didnt know who he was stealing from was a patron). he asked and got thousands of dollars to mame a fake (?) film studio that has made no films, and only says theyre in preproduction for a new film every 10 months. he also, yknow, steals from queer voices, basically harming his own community for profit. and when he's called out for stealing, he either shouts homophobia or shifts the blame to his co writer, who probably knows nothing about the plagerism.

anyways. its a bit of a drama thing. but honestly its a lot about how and why we should care about the art and media we consume online, and just how many people who look like they have their life together and are making lots and lots of content, seemingly on their own or close, actually are just stealing from talented people. it heals a bit of that imposter syndrome for people that do make genuine content online, and shows the consumers what making too much too quick actually means for the content they enjoy. the get the equivalent of meat grinded facts mixed with misinformation, subtly changed quotes, and 0 sources, or a laundry list of unorganized and unlabled sources if they want to learn more.

also i like this tweet. summarizes it well for me.

um. but thats my thoughts on it. i liked it because it reminds me that people who are churning out content one-man-show style aren't making the greatest stuff. i struggle with feeling like my work takes too long. but this was a great reminder that im actually making something good (i hope!), or at least, something that is truely coming from me. so its gonna take time to do it. but it'll be worth it because it'll be coming from me. (and also good. hopefully)

also the money hbomberguy is making off this video is going to the people james stole from. so thats really nice.

#hbomberguy #i havent watched a lot of his stuff but this video was really good #thanks for the ask!

[chuuyascumsock]

Varsity anon coming in just to tell 🧀 anon; YOU GOT HELLA BRAIN!

You guys got me giggling, twirling my hair around my finger, feet swinging in the air… 😩

Offering my degenerate thoughts to the discussion…

Imagine going to town in like the office or some and a customer comes in, waving at Chuuya whos upper body is visible through the window that looks into the workshop and they are „oh nooo theres something with my car i need some emergency help haha“ while Chuuyas cock is all the way down your throat? Like oop-

So pause, hes gotta do some work, after awkwardly shooing him out of the workshop for a minute so he can quickly get his pants back on and I imagine hed be so annoyed because it’s obviously not the customers fault his car had a problem and came in during open hours but also he desperately wants the warmth of your throat back.

And if you wanna be Really annoying… Tease him during his work. ‼️

Youre gonna get destroyed then the second he closes shop early just to finish what had been so rudely interrupted. Eating you out/ sucking your dick until your raspy voice begs for him to stop, but he wont. Not after you had been making his work ten times harder by teasing him.

Im such a whore for this man.

Varsity Anon is hereby also kindly requesting to be the Lotus 🪷 Anon 😳

Can’t believe y’all are writing essays about wanting to fuck this dude (yes I can cause me too). Thank you for your thoughts 🪷 Anon 🥰).

But imagine being the receptionist and innocently complimenting the customer when Chuuya walks in to tell them their car is done being worked on and he suddenly is wishing he cut their brakes because that should be HIM that you’re getting cozy with. And he gets so jealous that after the customer leaves he manhandles you into the garage and pins you against the wall by your throat before fucking you until you’re crying and on the verge of passing out from him choking you out 🫣

OH OH AND NOT TO MENTION HOW HE’D FORCE YOU TO SIT BACK IN YOUR SEAT AT THE RECEPTION DESK WITH HIS CUM LEAKING OUT TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU’RE HIS‼️✨

#chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya smut

[infernothechaosgod]

Should I make a video essay about epic mickey? (Rewrite)

i already made this post once but Im rewritting it becuse It looked too much like someone else's take And I have much more to say now that I thought about this post longer

So as we all know Theres alot of epic mickey video essays on youtube however alot of them Are beasicly Roasting the game as if it was made in 2023 in this weirdly sugarcoded way so you'll feel bad for liking the game but you'll also hear good stuff about it so you'll FEEL like it's good critisism but trust me its just the complement sandwitch

(complement sandwitch is when someone gives you a complement and Then critisism either deserved or not then another complement so you'll feel better...but it doesnt work too well with bad critisism lmao)

Theres alot takes about how The game doesnt look good enough and Im like...Good people, IT WERE 2010s! What do you expect? Not only computers could handle less then but also making games was VERY DIFFRENT and you never should come to a game from 2010s with expectations of good graphic, seriously never, Modeling and such were also very diffrent

Now I say I agree with some things The game could be a bit darker I think a bigger exploration of how oswald or anyone in fact feels about being forgotten Could be great, like it's horrifying and oswald Went from very beloved by audience to fully forgotten in a very short amount of time for a toon Also some concept arts Imo should make it into game and enemies could look creepier, also the morality system could be more effective like there could be a line saying "you notice oswald looks around more than usualy...prehaps he's looking if there are any witnesses around" Or something like that Like mickey litellary has a weapon capeable of erasing you from reality but also capeable of making beautiful things and fixing peoples problems i could argue it deserves more exploration

But the thing is...the game is amazing

It is, I hate most things from my childhood now becuse I went through critique era that im semi still in and I revisited things from my childhoot and most of them sucked lmao (being a writer I just cried from dissapointed sometimes) but epic mickey? It was still amazing, and 2d parts to this day look GORGEOUS The story is great and I do agree that the oryginal plot for second part should have stayed but it got replaced by a Still good idea

Also its so SO creative! It uses the fact the characters are cartoons to its fullest really theres no other game that I know of where you go into old projectors and where you can paint and erase your sorounding with accualy good explanation The mage was creative as hell its amazing

Also

The whole time you play youre suppoust to play for the plot not for the "gamer experience" Becuse it may suprise you but You dont HAVE to get all the pins and tickets, you can for fun But no one is forcing you to and whining about how long it took to 100% the game is not a good critique, you did this to yourself bro

The reviews or essays are often beasicly copypasted from eachother, I watched like 4 essays and reviews but it felt like one dude talking in 4 diffrent voices and repeating himself it's baaaaad

Epic mickey was a great game and it deserves a remake 200% and explaining how "it feel from its grace" isnt gonna be helpful

I wanna make a video about How there are things to change definitley (CURSE YOU WEIRD CAMERA) but its still a great game with some amazing plot And with great effect on younger audience at the time who played it

So help a boy out (again) and tell me do you think I should make that video essay? It may be long But I think you'll see it as a good thing haha

#epic mickey 2 #epic mickey #mickey mouse #oswald the lucky rabbit #video essay #Em #Em2 #Em deserves remakes fr #wasteland #cartoon

[genlossneg]

Any short film or media project can be submitted to film festivals pretty much off the bat so long as you appropriately own all the copyrighted material or have permission to use it

There's hundreds of smaller film festivals that ranboo could've submitted genloss too, including film festivals with focuses on experimental media like genloss is. But ranboo ran straight for an Emmy, the cream of the crop and literally nowhere else

It's both a mix of a massive ego and ignorance. Obviously I go to film school so this information was given to me by professors and it was discussed pretty extensively in class, but if Ranboo was genuinely trying to make genloss into anything, I don't think it's crazy to assume he should've submitted genloss to these film festivals that are much more in the lane of what genloss is

Also what peeves me off is because film makers have a crazy stupid amount of passion. I'm surrounded by them in my classes, my profs, we learn about them. And most of these people also have huge egos, and honestly what I've found is that very rarely can this ego be backed up by any substance.

But at the very least, they have an ego and they're trying to do something with it and actively putting in so many hours

Ranboo quite simply hasn't put in any time to make genloss, much like his extraordinarily misplaced budget, he didn't use his time where he shouldn've (don't worry one day I'll jump into your inbox and talk about the incredibly misplaced budget)

The way my particular program works is we all produce a short film at the end of each semester. We get a crew and actors and locations all on a college student budget and one of my classmates actually submitted their work for a film festival and got nominated for their category (very proud of them)

I didn't because I know my film wasn't very good. Am I proud of it, yes! I'm insanely happy with how it came out. But I have the self-awareness to know overall, it isn't this amazing thing that everyone needs to know about

Ranboo lacks this self-awareness, which along with any art, is absolutely critical for growth. Ranboo has never spoken about how he wishes he had done genloss differently or any regrets he had (aside from time crunch or things they couldn't make work) and that's how I know he didn't actually learn anything from this first run of genloss

Because the reality is, genloss wasn't good. And like my film, Ranboo can be proud of what he did as well as critical of the final product

An artist should always be their own worst critic because then they can see what the did wrong and then try and improve

Ranboo's biggest problems from my very limited perspective is a lack of understanding of how to tell a story, the lack of a backbone. He rushed genloss for an arbitrary reason. The production management was a joke too

To go for an Emmy, you're saying you think you are good enough for the highest prestige and that you believe that you've put in the appropriate amount of time and hours and that your work is worthy of gaining international recognition. And if Ranboo submitted it for the meme, that makes it worse. It shows his complete and utter lack of respect for the craft

Now, do bad movies exist, yes. Do I love some bad movies, also yes. But never have you heard of these directors hyping up these movies the way Ranboo has. And yeah, sometimes movies are cashgrabs. But again, the attitude ranboo carries as the director of genloss rubs me and so many other people so wrong as well as the attitude of boobers who think genloss is peak media. I can easily admit a movie I really like is objectively terrible but I still find enjoyment but boobers would flay you for daring say genloss isn't good (shout out live action Scooby Doo movies. They're absolutely terrible but they're fun to watch and I have fond memories of them from my childhood)

Apologies for the essay

-film student anon

film student anon this essay is wonderful. theres so much here i don't think i could reply to it all, and i really appreciated your takes on film festivals and passion projects vs the emmys. some of my favorite bits:

There's hundreds of smaller film festivals that ranboo could've submitted genloss too, including film festivals with focuses on experimental media like genloss is. But ranboo ran straight for an Emmy, the cream of the crop and literally nowhere else

To go for an Emmy, you're saying you think you are good enough for the highest prestige and that you believe that you've put in the appropriate amount of time and hours and that your work is worthy of gaining international recognition.

so big brain here. i would just keep quoting your ask in my reply because you make a ton of great points of effort not equaling quality.

i think the thing that gets me is that your first try of something is never going to be perfect. even with all the practice in the world your first try always is a bit messy, and that's how you get experience. but by submitting it for an emmy, it implies this first try was perfect, or at least close enough to be considered for such a high award. and like.. it wasn't horrible but it certainly had flaws.

i'll be so curious to see what happens with all this when the nominees get announced and what the fandom does with whatever happens

#gen loss neg #gen loss crit #ask #emmyloss

[lycanthropicture]

is there a community of ppl that can talk abt how their experience of thinking they wanted to transition/how they transitioned was eventually something they regretted)felt was harmful? like...for the most part i think convos abt gender/gender liberation shld be across lines of identity, and detrans ppl and trans ppl and genderqueer ppl and pocs gender identity etc shld feel unity and whatever. bit i feel like theres also a detrans to terf pipeline and ive seen it like several times w prev online friends/acquaintances. and it makes me so ughhh not happy idk . sorry im not saying u have the answers or anything, just mostly expressing. how i feel lol

nods. yeah. im just gonna ramble for a minute so i apologize if this post is a hot mess. i think part of the reason it's hard to find a non-terfy community of detrans ppl is bc like. how do you even define detransition..? i think a large number of people whose experiences that one might label as detransition would still identify as trans or nonbinary or both in some way. gender is confusing and weird and made up and wonky and every gender nonconforming person has to come to their own conclusions about how they identify and of course those identities can change over time and might be ever-changing throughout a lifetime. there are parts of my experience, for instance, could be labeled as detransition. i've gone off T for months at a time. i used to identify as a binary trans man, and now i dont. i dont have regrets about my medical transition, but i think that having transition regrets is different than being detrans too.

i think a lot about the detrans to terf pipeline that you're talking about. because yeah, i do think there are certainly people who do the black and white version of that. they identify as a binary trans person, medically transition, and then realize it's not right for them, go back to identifying as their AGAB. and then they project their transition regret onto like. every trans person and decide no one should have autonomy over their body because they made a medical decision they regret. and they become terfs. like im SURE that happens.

but i think probably more common is. a person comes out as trans. begins their medical transition. and it's fucking hard. and they don't have the support network they need. and they feel alone. perhaps they lose family or friends because theyre trans. and they experience transition regret. maybe because hrt genuinely wasn't right for them, or maybe because they lose the support of their family, friends, or community because of their transition. they decide to detransition. and somewhere along the way they find a community that will support their detransition and also tells them that they were in some ways coerced into making the decision to transition in the first place. and that's how they become terfs.

to be clear, im not assigning either of these experiences to anyone specifically, and im not even saying its super common, but anecdotally it is a story that is not unknown to me. and i do know that thee most common reasons people detransition is bc of various types of pressure from their family/friends/community, and one of the least common reasons is that they found that gender transition wasnt right for them (this isnt like. an essay lmao. but if u need a source for this, here. page 115).

all this to say. i think there absolutely should be more space in trans community to discuss transition regret and detransition without judgement. like whether or not detransitioners still identify as trans or plan to retransition in the future, they still have experiences with gender that definitely at the very least qualify them as gender-diverse. you're not detransitioning and then going back to your agab and rejoining cis binary society flawlessly and never questioning your gender again. like it just doesnt really work like that. i think detransitioners who no longer identify as trans are still our siblings and should be supported. of course. of COURSE. (obviously detrans ppl who become terfs/anti-trans are excluded from that. it's not trans ppls job to coddle terfs). but i also think like! that should be an intracommunity discussion. not a debate but a supportive space. and detrans experiences should not be used to argue against trans liberation. obviously. and i have a lot to say about the way detrans experiences, esp of detrans women, are presented as horror stories laced with transphobia and essentialism (read: racism). but thats. another post for another day.

basically yeah. what you said. convos about gender/liberation should be across lines of identity. bc it's really not an issue really of identity but of how we are gendered by the people around us. bigger work than just trans liberation. you dont get trans liberation without dismantling patriarchy without dismantling white supremacy without dismantling um. capitalism. and so unity. intersectionality. etc. yeah. idk. rough day.

#sorry i responded to your ask with the most rambling bullshit youve ever seen #just. guy responds to former pretty close mutual going totally off the rails. tries to not be too too upset abt it #also sorry if this sounds like im lecturing u i am also just expressing i think #my bad i appreciate the ask i think i also needed to talk about this a little more and just get it out of my system lol

[masalafilmsrevival]

Hello! I'm writing a final Essay about Indian parallel cinema or new Indian cinema and I kinda got lost, there are so many movies and themes to explore! since the deadline is pushing me, I don't have much time to explore it deeply, i've watched Charulata and Apu's trilogy but couldn't move forward from there. (all of them mind-blowingly amazing btw) Could you please please please give me some direction on which way should i keep looking/researching or any of your favorite themes that are recurring in 50's-70's Indian "new wave" films ? anything would be really helpful. Thank you in advance, hope you have an amazing day!!

oh my god, i did not see this until now as i typically only see notifications for this blog when i'm on desktop, i'm so sorry!! i really hope this isnt too late to respond. okay so i'm no expert but just some thoughts:

so obviously its a film movement that originated in bengal, a lot of parallel cinema is bengali indian OR bangladeshi, i'm not sure if theres a specific reason you're focusing on indian parallel cinema for your essay but thats something to keep into consideration especially because it spans past the 70s well into the 80s and somewhat 90s so after the independence of bangladesh. and that does impact and put context to the narrative of many films

the themes that are recurring tend to be class consciousness and disillusionment, religious and racial discrimination, casteism, more frank portrayals of the topic of sex, marxist thought, the burden of patriarchal society and expectation, to some extent borderline nihilism in my opinion, essentially the polar opposite of bollywoods pristine glamorized and polished portrayal of life and society that borders on science fiction from how removed from reality it is. in spite of it often.

if you want an outline of some filmmakers, actors, and films that can give you a decent idea of the movement, off the top of my head:

films i can think of that will give you a decent understanding of the tone and themes of the movement at least:

mirch masala

a river called titas and cloud capped star

donkey in a brahmin village

the apu trilogy and charulata as you said as well as devi and shatranj ke khilari. (the coward is also one of my personal favorites but not a necessary watch)

mammo, mandi, and bhumika

dont cry for salim the lame, the strange fate of arvind desai

arth

rat trap

maya darpan

duvidha, nazar, uski roti

quintessential filmmakers to at least get a decently rounded understanding (in my opinion):

saeed akhtar mirza

mani kaul

satyajit ray

ritwik ghatak

shyam benegal

mrinal sen

actors whose work or work during the period of early parallel cinema to look to:

smita patil (!) (probably the most important to look into if youre interested in this movement)

shabana azmi (early work)

madhabi mukherjee

soumitra chatterjee

 naseeruddin shah (early work)

om puri (early work)

all of this is really just what came to mind immediately, i had planned on writing up a comprehensive summary of parallel cinema and what i considered essential viewing and themes and i will do that eventually, but i wanted to answer this as quickly as possible so i could easily be leaving out an insane amount of things. also i primarily used the english translations for these films unless i couldnt remember them. if youre in the usa (and maybe outside of it as well im not sure) MANY of these works or works made by these directors are on youtube or archive.org. i hope this is of some help and eventually i will post more comprehensive detail + scans of books i have about this. hope this helps someone and you have a good day!

#asks #anonymous #parallel cinema #this ask was sent about 2 weeks ago im hoping ur deadline wasnt up b4 now :')

[sharpth1ng]

Love debaser, love that you’re a psych major. I am also so that’s awesome. I feel like tbh that’s probably why you’re good at characterization as well. I was wondering how you can tell in general if someone is autistic vs bpd? You’ve talked about Billy’s psych before, and I am just wondering if you can talk about it generally too.

Thanks so much! Essay incoming:

So I would say take all of this with a grain of salt, I'm not a clinician- I work with clinicians but this isn't my specialty and personality disorders should really be diagnosed by specialists.

But generally the best evidence we have about the development of BPD is genetic vulnerability (Things like emotional sensitivity and impulsivity can have a strong genetic component) in combination with an invalidating or unsupportive social environment. What counts as a trauma for someone depends heavily on what their level of sensitivity is, and also what resources they have to deal with it, so the idea is that bpd is essentially something that develops when someones emotions and needs are invalidated consistently from a young age.

It becomes hard to trust other people and also your own feelings, and you may learn that you have to do things like lying to get the help an support that you need, or that your emotions are so large and you have so little support for them that the only way to cope is to harm yourself. All this is to say that bpd, trauma, and invalidation are closely tied together.

Now moving on to the connection with autism, because theres a not insignificant number of autistic people who are also diagnosed with bpd. This may be a slightly sweeping statement, but at least for myself, being an autistic child was inherently traumatizing. I was constantly subjected to sensory hell in school, around other kids, and particularly at meal times, and my meltdowns were perceived as intentional tantrums. On top of this I would lose the ability to speak sometimes and this was also taken as an intentional behaviour.

Because there are so many things neurotypical people don't even notice that are traumatic to autistic folk (like fluorescent lights or an unexpected change of plans) we are constantly invalidated, especially when we are young. Basically here I'm just trying to explain why the overlap exists.

No on to differentiating the two, this is a useful diagram:

The real answer here is that we're still really trying to figure out exactly how these two disorders interact and how to differentiate them and in my opinion theres a lot of terrible research in personality disorders, and a lot of unqualified people giving out diagnosis (don't trust your family doctor to diagnose you with a mental disorder, they at most got like a month training and psychologists, psychiatrists and counsellors study this stuff for for 6-8 years).

There is also some evidence that autistic people who were assigned female at birth are more likely to be diagnosed with bpd than people who were assigned male at birth who have the same symptoms, so there might be a gender bias in the way that diagnosticians perceive people too.

There are some bigger differences to look at though, so things like sensory symptoms (sensitivities but also stimming), special interests, neurodivergent body language, literal interpretation and introversion are more common for autistics. In contrast, people with only bpd are more likely to have a history of childhood abuse or neglect, heightened sensitivity to perceived social threat (which some autistic folk may be oblivious to), drastic emotional up and down, and personality instability, where they frequently change values, hobbies, opinions, friendships, ect. (while in contrast most autistic people are pretty consistent on those things.)

One of the most important things is to figure out why behaviours are happening- for example, self harm and substance abuse are common for both groups, but for autistics these behaviours are often a way to compensate for sensory overload and anxiety, while for people with bpd they are a way to deal with feelings of emptiness or overwhelming emotion.

Another example would be difficulty in relationships- for autistic people this often comes from an inability to spontaneously produce neurotypical social behaviours, so a lot of us miss cues or copy and paste behaviours to try and blend. In contrast many people with BPD have an unstable sense of self, so their social behaviours can seem "disorganized" from the outside, and they may miss read situations because they constantly looking for threats so they can try and protect themselves.

Personal history is also important- if someone has a deep distrust of people because they were neglected as a child, this may point to bpd, but if they have a distrust of people because the weren't able to read their peers and got severely bullied for special interests in elementary school, then this may point to autism.

And again, some people do have both! But it's honestly really difficult to differentiate them without seeing a diagnostician over a long period of time. Its super important though, effective treatment for an autistic person is different than effective treatment for people with bpd, and for people with both its different as well.

I hope this is somewhat clear! I don't want to simplify any of this because it actually is really complex and I just want to be honest about that.

#again I'm not a diagnostician I'm just a researcher #take this with a grain of salt #autism and bpd #ask #cw sh mention

[fairy-jayborg]

Im a very neutral person. Ive never destroyed anything but what have i given? Im just here. Im not particularly of worth, a simple one sitting. I like writing but im not a writer and I never will be. I love essays because theres a lot to say and I can force myself into existence with any topic. So really im an attention whore. Nothing wrong with being an attention whore! But when you get attention you need to use it. You cant sit quietly and demand that youre loved. Thats not how the world works. I want to be something. There are so many tings that I want to say here but i cant type them. This isnt a ramble. Words have meaning and I need meaning to be clear in what i write. I cant think of my own words so i use the ones of others. Not to plagiarize but i cant even think of a source material to steal a quote from right now. I am a content consumer, i should have sentences stacked in my brain for my personal use. I am likely never going to return to this document but i will not delete it. words arent there for me to waste them. I dont know what i deserve. i know that i have to do things, i am a person after all. i dont know where to go. writing is very different from talking. when you speak you might have an audience whether you want one or not. that doesnt happen with writing. i have no friends. that doesnt particularly upset me. i havent avidly tried to make friends and i live in south fucking carolina. i dont feel the need to appease bigots for a friendship where im trying my hardest to hide myself. i dont really understand the need to write on paper. paper can be destroyed. maybe its because i was rased on a digital landscape and told that the internet is forever. paper is risky. paper can be blown into the sight of those who oppose you. you cant erase the way that people perceive you. to further my above point or rather introduce it, i dont do things for myself. i invented a fake prompt in my head to pretend that this was an essay assignment to pretend that there was validity in my need to write.the prompt of course being “describe yourself in a word and expand on it.” my brain of course providing descriptions of how people would react to a paper where i make it very clear that although i fear death i don't know how im supposed to live. imagining being sent to a counselor despite the fact that there is nothing wrong with me and there are people with actual issues and i would just be taking up time and space. the fact that people cant validly have interests is so fucking depressing. even while i type immagaining posting this somewhere so i can know that people know i exist. some people just never get the fucking point and in this essay i will say fuck so many times because why the fuck nt. i dont have a reason to exist i definetly dont need a reason to say fuck. “this isnt a ramble” girl wtf is it then? i want to scream into the void and i want the void to hear me damnit! so back to my mortality or whatever the fuck. i dont know who i am and i dont know what i want and i dont knoe ehat the fuck to do about either of those things. i consider leaving every typo as an artistic mark of humility or sincerity or something of that genre but it woulf genuinly be so fucking unreadable its not even funny. im listening to a glee playlist right now. loveshack is such a bop but its not the vibe. not changing it though. im 16 years old. i know that thats not old but im supposed to be everything out. like “highschool doesnt matter in the real world” or whatever the fuck but it matters a lot for college. and “college -tin roooof rusted- doesnt matter that much” in the way that its not important where you go as long as you get the degree but its all that matters right now. college and high school are the things that im supposed to be worried about and i am aware of that and im already halfway through high school and i dont have time to be trying to be a kid creating beautiful mystifying things in google docs but i am.

#my thoughts #ireallyshouldjustshutthefuckup #the entire doc is actually too long to post

[journen]

how did you get into art/get so good! i feel like every time i try it's a huge flop and i despair that i will never be able to draw anything original

Hey anon! Thank you for the question! This is gonna be a long post but i’ll trap some of it under a read more lol. So sorry for the essay in advance!! And i also wanted to say, when i saw your message i immediately thought of this post. Its v accurate and true.

So anyhow… got into art mostly when I was 11… I really liked the game Zelda Skyward Sword lol, and started trying to come up with and illustrate my own original zelda stories, etc… (not that they were any good i was a kid haha🤣) and then I ended up doing this for other fandoms i got into in the future! And so i just kept drawing? I always have a million story ideas in my head, and drawing is my way to get them out of my head and see it as an illustration lol. I didn’t actually start taking it seriously until 2019 tho. It took a long time, and theres still a million more things i can learn and improve at, progress can be slow but my main advice is to…

Draw what inspires you, especially when you are starting off! And especially if it’s just a hobby! Because the key to improving, is to just keep drawing. You will not improve in any other way. And having fun with it is so important! And you mentioned being concerned your work has to be super original…if you think originality will get you success - you are kinda drawing for the wrong reasons I think. Try to have fun with it first, and you will find your original style as you go and improve.

Anyhow, improvement can take a long time, and if you’re like me, you’re always going to think your stuff isn’t good enough and you should be better, but you can’t let that get you down because otherwise you will give up, and we are better than that right?

More under the cut!

And you mentioned your work “flopping” - don’t judge your worth / skill over how many notes something you did gets! 🥺 This is the social media curse lol. The amount of attention your work gets is not an absolute measure of your skill whatsoever. Try to learn to draw for your own enjoyment, and not compare yourself to others because we all have different levels of experience and different things we are good at. I understand the despair feeling tho lol, but if you get bogged down by the negatives you will never improve. 💛

Oh! And as you go, the more you improve, then you can start doing more fine tuned studies(like environment/anatomy/lighting studies) but using reference is always good too when you are drawing! I never draw without ref lol, but maybe that’s the concept artist in me. Drawing is hard work tho and you end up having to put the work in if you really want to improve eventually, but if you draw what inspires you then it doesn’t feel like as much work as it is. 😉

Anyhow, sorry for the essay! I just have a lot of passionate thoughts on this topic. Thank you for the question anon! Idk if this helped at all, or was interesting, but yeah!! 💛💛 Please keep drawing and don’t give up! And feel free to reach out if you have any questions in the future!

Heres one of my fav memes as a treat for reading this whole post

#sorry for writing so much again #youve just caught me in a moment where i am lacking sleep and almost have no filter lol #sorry if i went over oard #overboard* #but yeah!! #journen speaks #text post #anon ask #feel free any other anons to ask any questions too!! #i rb’d a post about it earlier today lol #💛💛💛

[straykats]

ballet slipper (can't help just love ballet too much), rose and coral <33

ballet slipper— with only one word, describe how you feel at this moment

unwell (rip). i have a stomach ache that literally just settled in as i was copying the questions over. i also feel kinda nauseous, i'm assuming bc of a car ride i was in an hour ago. yes i still feel sick from a ride an hour ago. perhaps, then, it's not car sickness but i actually just need to rest lol

rose— do you believe in soulmates? why or why not?

no HAHA but i definitely enjoy a good soulmate au (wink wonk). why don't i believe in soulmates? well, here me out on this one (or don't - it's really up top u whether u read the answer HAHA) and bare with me making this a lot deeper than it actually is. i'll answer below the cut tho bc im gonna go on an unnecessarily long ramble HAHAHAHAHAHAH but i love going on rambles about things like this and breaking it down and exploring the ideas associated so. but the short answer is that no, i don't believe in soulmates because the idea of 'fate' can kind of suck.

coral— what’s something you’re passionate about?

music! writing! the shadowhunter chronicles! criminal minds! human connection and development-esqe things? see below for an example.

[ send me a pink themed ask! ]

so,,, why don't i believe in soulmates?

well, if soulmates exist (and i say 'soulmates' referring to just... ur fated person, not red string of fate or other soul mate au. soulmate in the most... biological/physiological way possible; coming from the same star or smth. i dont remember the whole thing but theres a theory/idea that you and your soulmate come from the same star and when the star burst the atoms created you and ur partner etcetc idk it's my favourite soulmate theory/au thing but anyways) GETTING BACK ON TRACK. if soulates exist, that kind of alludes to the idea that... everything happens/happened for a reason.

the idea of a soulmate existing, of someone who.. idk, makes up for your faults, who always manages to deal with your faults and who's your perfect other half etc. is like.. it.. means that if A and B are soulmates, then the existence of A means that all of the things that happened to B happened for a reason to enable A to be that perfect puzzle piece that fits right in. i don't know if that makes sense.

we are who we are because of the thigns that we experience - all of our our strengths come from the challenges we face, and all of the positive encouragers in our life. our supports facilitate our development, but our challenges also shape us, as much as we hate it. taking the easy example of trauma - our trauma response in both the short and long term affects how we act and how we react to things. the idea of a soul,ate who just.. naturally understands and is able to facilitate these (potentially) disabling responses means that the traumatic event was. idk. fated to happen. happened for a reason, etc.

and that's not to say that no one exists out there who will be able to facilitate and understand and love someone despite their 'flaws', but the concept of a 'soulmate' somehow takes away the humanness of human connection?

if A is able to accomodate all of B's 'flaws', it should be because they want to and because they, somewhere along the line, have learnt hte skills to do that, and the people who taught/displayed the skills did so not because it was 'fated' but because that's how humanity works and- and maybe yeah this is because i don't want to believe that a lot of the things i and other people have experienced was 'meant' to happen for some reason, but yeah.

i don't know man i could go on for EVER about this. idek if what i've said has made sense. and i know the question probably isn't as deep as i made it out to be but i love talking about human connection and about how everything makes us us and maybe not exactly in a psychoanalytical way but if i understoood the concepts of psychoanalysis i would have typed up a proper 3000word essay.

#sorry for the rambkle HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA but also not sorry at all #i love rambling #i can draw a whole tree diagram/flow chart about this #virgothicc #kat answers #kat asks for asks

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

GOD BLESS 👍💓✨🥰💝❣️thank you for the most beautiful essay i've laid eyes on in months. for your ship bingo I can't remember any you've done already so I'll throw in the basic marxolor and sectaranza/joranza just in case they haven't been gotten to yet

(someone else asked for marxolor so ill answer that one with the other ask!)

this ones honestly really hard for me to pin down because we dont know what sectonia's precorruption personality was like and i dont have any particular themes to tie down with it other than royal x loyal royal servant, which tbh i do like that dynamic but im mad shrugging about this one. ironically i think i would like it best/it works best under its original premise of a tragic relationship that doesnt ever get to fully realize itself. a one sided crush that develops on the royal taranza slowly gets to know as a friend, but develops just as quickly into horror at what his friend becomes. imagine the "their impact/story is more interesting that the ship itself" square being extra highlighted because that really sums up my feelings perfectly

i dont think anyone ships corrupted sectonia x taranza? and im not for shipping them post-corruption like if she came back to life or something because i think its totally contradictory to taranza and tripple deluxe's whole story. but for precorruption romance i can give it a solid "yeah its cute!". instead of cursed artifacts taranza should give sectonia more outfits. find out tonis personal style so she doesnt feel like she needs to hijack some poor persons body to be beautiful. therapy would also be a good gift i think, but a precorruption romance with both of them being unapologetically evil would also be a+ ngl. maybe theres also something to be said about joronia getting a crush on taranza too as a result of him being the only person willing to connect with her on a deeper level despite her status as a royal. lots of potential and ways you can go with this one depending on personal headcanon!

#asks #anonymous #dgp askgame #sectaranza #joranza

[leeyanyanyaaan]

04.08.2023

TW: Mention of depression, mental health, TMI for personal situation (sorry my bad ^^;)

College… isn't as interesting as everyone makes it out to be.

Sure, so far (read: three weeks in), classes are chill, long breaks, and going around campus and city is pretty chill,

But it's lonely.

Really lonely…

Classes clash with my friends' schedules, making it hard and not often for us to be able to meet. So breaks in between classes are often spent in the library continuing my schoolwork. And while I do enjoy that solitude most the time, as an introvert, it gets boring doing nothing but work all day.

As a said introvert, making new friends is even harder, especially with zero social skills. Even if I do manage to befriend some classmates (not that it was a choice when the lecturer made the class interact), they're just that — nothing more than classmates.

Maybe being isolated at home for nearly a year has me yearning companionship. Long story short, drama happened within my family upon my diagnosis of depression, and in the end I was pulled out of high school mid-year and was forced to seperate from my friends, out of my parents fear of me leaving them.

Haha… sorry for getting too personal for a minute, but what's happened has happened. Things have gotten better, being able to attend university, first and foremost, reconnecting with my old childhood best friend whom I haven't seen for five years due to moving away, and reconciling with my old friends despite all the drama that's happened, (which I am thankful for. I can't express how grateful I am for their forgiveness and understanding after everything), and I really am grateful for all the people that remain in my life to this day, but at the same time, it feels like theres a gap between me and everyone else.

Perhaps it's the result of what's happened to my mental health, building walls around myself, distancing myself from everyone as a way of preserving or safeguarding myself. So it isn't so surprising, but alas there's no one to blame but myself for my own solitude, and unless I do something about it, it's not going to change.

Even so, a girl can dream right? Even I want the shoujo manga life (despite the fact that I am currently questioning my romantic alignment lol). As delusional as it may be, it's fun to imagine the what-if scenarios that could possibly happen… then again this might be the writer in me speaking XD

But more than that, I want to make new friends. I want to create new connections and grow close to people again. I love my friends, but it'd be nice to… talk to new people. Otherwise, I may grow completely reliant on them when they themselves have learned to move on and make their own friends too. Because I'm not their only friend. So it's time I learn to find more friends, I guess. Though I really wish an extrovert would come and adopt me XD

That all aside, I'm actually surprised that I'm sitting here writing a journal entry of my college life so far. I'm not sure why, the writer in me just suddenly wanted to write for some reason. That should be a good thing, right? Wrong. I have an essay due this Sunday midnight and I'm behind on my online class, not to mention I have Japanese tests next week :") honestly I just want to get up to date with all my college work so I have time to do other things and maybe see if I'm able to handle getting a part time job while I'm currently studing. Oh well.

Signing off,

leeyanyan.

#leeyanyan's writing corner #leeyanyan's work #journal entry #diary entry #dear diary #college life #uni life #university #college #*shrug*

[baekhvuns]

Omg an essay on meat eating?! How did that go? I watched Terrifier 1 once a few years ago, but went to see the new one and it's definitely bloody, but I'm on my period, some fake blood on the screen won't phase me too much lmao, but it was disgusting and that clown is 💀

That Taemin x Kkoong account is so cute, but they need to release more cartoons 😭 or merch, I'll buy everything

I think all the 94 liners have to go this year/in early 2023 right? 💔 🖐🏻 farewell bald boys...

Syushshshhshshs but why does black salt taste like eggs though it's crazy (egss and soil). You should try some of the stuff if you see them or can order online, there are some misses but to each their own obviously. I'm always searching for new products to try 👀 naaaaaauuuurrrr, but there's fake fish sauce too! If you add enough seaweed/alkgae everything tastes like fish/ocean.

Oooooh congrats on the fic climax then ajheuashshehehsisuegsagaga, hope Hotcheeks will be satisfied!

I noticed the thing with adding members, for bigger groups it's whatever (btw so many people left/got kicked out this year hmmmmm), but Pixy were left with 4.

Bestie I LOVE BOCA SO MUCH "Hold up yeah, I'm a geek the big paradox!!!!"

I saw that people are trying to blame the tragedy on some celebrities who were apparently there and caused people to freak out?! Seriously, that place is full of narrow streets, they need to control it better, but what to do when the government doesn't give a fuck! My friends are fine thankfully, but they were shaken as hell. On the other hand there are people who care more about their kpop content, fucking clowns

Seonghwa looking extra pretty lately - didn't know it was possible - he's glowing and the hair looks so good on him, I'm a blonde Hwa stan rn idc 😭 and his outfits are slaying my existence

So, my friend doesn't even simp or gets wrecked easily, so this brings me so much joy 😍🥰🤗 like I can't believe she's sending me Hwa videos unprovoked or asking for Hwa gifs isysjshdnsjhajsjshashhs she bought one ticket, then changed it for a better one, because she needs to see 👁👁 and shout out to mama Baek I feel you!

Huh Mingo Mango my guy... he's something

Lmao that rap tweet I've never heard that Paramore guy song and I regret it now...

I couldn't open that Sith Hwa photos you sent at first, I have that fansite blocked cause 🔪 but omg he truly is in his villain era

4 years? It seems both so little and a lot 🤨

I wheezed at the name of the quiz: spirit halloween - good thing we don't have those here, so I'm not dying anytime soon (unless I witness Park Seonghwa live)

Btw.... back in October 2019 I attended music shows for Skz and Atz and I CANNOT BELIEVE I SAW WONDERLAND HALLOWEEN STAGE LIVE LIVE 😭😭😭😭 when will my 2019 kpop era come back

I need to boyfriends so I can dress them similarly but it's just Seonghwa

Demon milf vs cute grandpa

Hold on what audusiegesshsvd Park Sieongwa

Look what I saw, Hwa works at LV lol - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Omg an essay on meat eating?! How did that go? I watched Terrifier 1 once a few years ago, but went to see the new one and it's definitely bloody, but I'm on my period, some fake blood on the screen won't phase me too much lmao, but it was disgusting and that clown is 💀

i was defending ppl who don’t eating meat <3 some ppl in my class are truly ignorant bc they really think there’s no way theres other food that can provide nutrient and proteins without the slaughter of an animal 😀JDVWNDBSKC girlie glad u had ur period iVE BEEN WAITING FOR MY PARCEL ON IT 🔫🔫🔫 the clown that bad?? 😭😭

That Taemin x Kkoong account is so cute, but they need to release more cartoons 😭 or merch, I'll buy everything

IT LITERALLY IS I FOLLOWED IT SO QUICK IVE BEEN SCROLLING THRU IT WHOLE no ur so right,, if kkoongi drops merch like zero im pulling up to lee taemin’s estate

I think all the 94 liners have to go this year/in early 2023 right? 💔 🖐🏻 farewell bald boys... //// Syushshshhshshs but why does black salt taste like eggs though it's crazy (egss and soil). You should try some of the stuff if you see them or can order online, there are some misses but to each their own obviously. I'm always searching for new products to try 👀 naaaaaauuuurrrr, but there's fake fish sauce too! If you add enough seaweed/alkgae everything tastes like fish/ocean.

bald boys 😭😭😭🤚🏼 i believe they have to go either dec end or like feb but kai said his enlistment is nowhere neAR SO IM HOPING FBFBFB,, NO U ARE RIGHT IT DOES IT ALSO SMELLS LIKE IT TOO !!!! it tastes so fire tho like,, god just decided im about to drop megatron 3000 spice with the fire-est flavour and just left,,, iLL DEF LOOK INTO SOME BC U GOT ME CURIOUS

Oooooh congrats on the fic climax then ajheuashshehehsisuegsagaga, hope Hotcheeks will be satisfied!

hopefully they are 😭 40k here we go 😭😭

I noticed the thing with adding members, for bigger groups it's whatever (btw so many people left/got kicked out this year hmmmmm), but Pixy were left with 4.

yeah!!! so many did,, so many even passed away this year its so crazy 😭😭😭 OHHH I LOOKED IT UP A LITTLE ITS QUITE SADDENING

Bestie I LOVE BOCA SO MUCH "Hold up yeah, I'm a geek the big paradox!!!!"

BESTIE IMFVWKHDQK THE BIGGEST BOCA ENTHUSIAST FBWM I QUOTE IT EVERY DAY WITHOUT FAIL 😭😭😭 dami’s voice is so pretty!! even in beauty full <33

I saw that people are trying to blame the tragedy on some celebrities who were apparently there and caused people to freak out?! Seriously, that place is full of narrow streets, they need to control it better, but what to do when the government doesn't give a fuck! My friends are fine thankfully, but they were shaken as hell. On the other hand there are people who care more about their kpop content, fucking clowns

yooo literally???? like what does the celebrity gotta do when the guy who won the election is hiding behind his desk 😭😭😭 NO LIKE DO THEY RLY THINK A CELEB CASUED PPL TO FREAK OUT??? omg i hope they get better soon! it must’ve been really hard to take in what happened,,, no bro some ppl really more worried about the contents they won’t get??? ,,, like u don’t gotta relate everything back to kpop??? crazy mfs truly

Seonghwa looking extra pretty lately - didn't know it was possible - he's glowing and the hair looks so good on him, I'm a blonde Hwa stan rn idc 😭 and his outfits are slaying my existence

EXACTLY I NEED HIS SECRET RIGHT NOW WHAT CONDITIONER AND SHAMPOO HE USES 🔫🤚🏼

So, my friend doesn't even simp or gets wrecked easily, so this brings me so much joy 😍🥰🤗 like I can't believe she's sending me Hwa videos unprovoked or asking for Hwa gifs isysjshdnsjhajsjshashhs she bought one ticket, then changed it for a better one, because she needs to see 👁👁 and shout out to mama Baek I feel you!

u after u introduced her to hwa :

PLSSS FBWMDHSK THATS THE ULTIMATE JOY THE POWER SEONGHWA HAS UR FRIENDS DONE FOR FHFHFH ☺️☺️ oh she got a better one ??? she’s gotta see him in ultra hd 4K 2040p she’s gonna ascend

Huh Mingo Mango my guy... he's something //// Lmao that rap tweet I've never heard that Paramore guy song and I regret it now...

LMFAOOOO NO BC WHAT IS THAT 😭😭😭 WHAT WENT WRONG??? EVERYTHING

I couldn't open that Sith Hwa photos you sent at first, I have that fansite blocked cause 🔪 but omg he truly is in his villain era

omg is that fansite problematic???? ayo??? YEAH EXTREME VILLAIN CORE

4 years? It seems both so little and a lot 🤨

four years and now almost five,,, damn growing old 😭😭😭

I wheezed at the name of the quiz: spirit halloween - good thing we don't have those here, so I'm not dying anytime soon (unless I witness Park Seonghwa live)

LMFAOOOO BDWNBDSK i got this…. in my goblin era apparently

Btw.... back in October 2019 I attended music shows for Skz and Atz and I CANNOT BELIEVE I SAW WONDERLAND HALLOWEEN STAGE LIVE LIVE 😭😭😭😭 when will my 2019 kpop era come back

STOP IT DO U HAVE PHOTOS FJQKDJKW LOW QUALITY I DONT CARE RJKAHDKS NEED SEONGHWA A NEED 😭😭😭😭 nO WHEN WILL THE 2019 KPOP COME BACK THAT WAS A GOOD TIME 😭😭😭

I need to boyfriends so I can dress them similarly but it's just Seonghwa //// Demon milf vs cute grandpa

o-oh.

DEMON MILF FBWMFBAMFBQMDJWK HE THE CUTEST BOBA HEAD 😭😭😭

Hold on what audusiegesshsvd Park Sieongwa

HELP???? THATS SO RANDOM???? PLS ????

Look what I saw, Hwa works at LV lol - DV 💖

OH AND IN PARIS???? 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 its calling for u to go in and buy <3

….

for the first time panchoa is correct 🤚🏼 if u have pink tape im extremely on my way to rOB IVE BEEN TRYING TO GET IT BUT 🔫🔫🔫

bestie its concert era now 😭😭😭 the youtube lives 😭😭😭

im gonna need to marry this man

got another one!

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

[ftmharrypotter]

so ive got a few ideas about what to toss into this fic, cannibalizing some ideas from an old fic idea of mine.

warning possible spoilers ahead - the again maybe not maybe thisll grow into its own thing.

sorting

Ron is in hufflepuff. i could and have written essays justifying this decision but like it sucks and im not going to anymore ron WILL have something to say about why he's in hufflepuff though and it will be short and sweet and to the point and okay fine i WILL say that Ron is exceedingly loyal... to those he perceives as loyal to HIM. every time he acted out it was because of a betrayl in his eyes and he always came around. like that was the POINT of his character

Hermione is in ravenclaw. im not saying she isnt brave just that i think that self determination played a large roll in putting her in Gryffindor

Neville is in Gryffindor. he deserves it okay

harry is in slytherin. MOSTLY because i want to explore ambition not being evil and i want to give harry ambition because he deserves it

the hogwarts houses being united for once like damn

Plot points

okay this sections a little vauge but

i think i want draco to show an interest in harry later on but its not an end game ship just a showing that draco sees harry as a girl as another way hes pigheaded. not that i dont like draco in leather pants as a trope just thats not what i want to do right now. may may a spin off where drarry is the point though because im a sucker

i think i want harry to honestly look at transition options and then decide theyre not for him. or some are but some aren't. medically transitioning is not mandatory okay?

i MIGHT put harry on the ace spectrum but then again i might not. i THINK i might make him demi if i do specifically so some things make more sense.

i THINK i want to keep ginny/harry end game for this run through specifically because i dont think being trans SHOULD change anything really about the story but of course it will because otherwise it wouldnt be interesting and theres other things i want to explore

Possibly voldemort getting his body back through shenanigans and then teaching at the school

snape walking the fine line between giving a damn about lillys child and being an absolute son of a bitch. idk that i can pull that one off tbh

IF voldypoo does teach at the school itll be because of a scene im 1000% sure everyone will hate but i feel is... not necessary but like. idk. would happen. id probably make a spin off of that ship too because once again im a sucker. ill read almost anything so why wouldnt i write it?

morell be added as i think of it but feedback would be nice. i know im not going to get it but still.

Notes on gender

im trans. this story doesnt reflect my experience 1000% but it does borrow from my experience. it may not be accurate to your experience BUT i have seen a few fics where the transition is covered differently. from magically easy to just as much of a struggle as it is in the muggle world. i HAVENT as of yet seen anything like what i plan to write

which includes doubt/ imposter syndrome. which includes not fully transitioning. dysphoria that comes and goes based on circumstances rather than constant - so perhaps more largely social than physical. which includes self misgendering and self push back.

On race and racism

jkr is not only a terf but theres been a lot of complaints about her works being racist. i cant speak on that much though i do see the very valid concerns raised and will try to mitigate what i can as best i can. if i could do better somewhere or i make a mistake feel free to tell me

i LOVE the head cannon that Harry is half Indian. but people put a lot of thought and work into their baby names and i could not in good conscience just pick a random indian name to use. im still going to say Harry is half Indian but he wasn't raised that way because drusleys so when i get around to describing him he wont look like daniel radcliff

i LOVE the head cannon that Hermione is black. im keeping it.

on cannon

cannon is more of a guideline than an actual rule.

i read and re read the books growing up avidly but its been years since i read them fully and ive read a LOT of fanfiction in the past. i may get things wrong. feel free to point it out but i cant guarantee ill fix it.

this has gotten long so ill kill it here for now

[pinecoats]

i think the way hermitcraft formats storylines works functionally better than the way the dsmp does it.

the way wilbur was talking about it when he was the main writer is similar to how hermitcraft runs in that u need to give ppl causes to fight for or like a big world changing issue and then ppl try to tackle it in different ways is just, format wise, the easiest way to collectively tell stories and also easy and interesting to consume.

and it works bc everyone's doing something different, so if u wanna get the whole story u should really watch multiple perspectives, but u dont have to bc everyone's individual storylines are all unified by the Thing thats happening and they're complete on their own.

whereas if you look at the dsmp now, it's just individual characters telling their own stories that can and do contradict each other, and there's no single Unifying Server Wide event.

like the closest thing recently was the egg plot and ppl got to pick sides and play that out and that worked

but with like las nevadas unless u have specifically coordinated with quackity theres like nothing interesting you can really Do or anything to really work with that isn't just entirely separate.

with hermitcraft like "oh no! the shopping district's getting taken over by mycelium! what is my character gonna do about it!" and then you go from there Works on an individual character level and it works on a content level because the story is structured around how individuals react to the big events that are happening, so people tune into the characters and creators they care about.

with the dsmp uve got "hmm everyone split off to make their own countries bc the one big country's gone now what does my character do now and why is it not just live happy and content in my new country that has nothing happening in it." and it's kind of stagnant. there are obviously people who wanna watch the 10th grinding or building stream and there is value in that but it doesn't really move the overall story forward.

i think at its core, the dsmp needs a dm bc it just feels disorganized and from what ive heard from content creators talking about lore and trying to plan it it just is disorganized. unless things change massively or someone steps up snd goes Im Dming Now Organize Your Plots With Me its gonna stay that way and the dsmp will keep kind of fizzling into relative obscurity

like hermitcraft's gotta good thing going with like total resets every now and then once plot points have wrapped up and ppl are ready to move on, but i think the dsmp is to tied to its own history to dare to pull a complete reset.

anyway thats my backburner essay for today. please forward your comments, complaints, and declarations of war to my inbox or the notes

#dsmp critical #dsmp analysis #hc analysis #dsmp #hermitcraft #i really like the dsmp or at least i used to and its just kind of frustrsting watching it be kind of disorganized #especially when i know for a fact that things in this kind of medium CAN and HAVE worked in the past #and especially especially when that thing is the dsmp #obviously no hate to the egg arc i think it works really well and is underratted bc a lot of people just didnt pay attention to it #but now that its Largely over the creeping feeling of directionlessness has kind of overtaken the story for me #hermitcraft just feels like more of a complete story and is just entirely less frustrating to watch #cedar posting #teddy talks