#or i just feel horrible

[norrisleclercf1]

It's here 🥹

#i could cry #dont knoe from happiness #or i just feel horrible #f1 #formula 1 #lando norris

[newttxt]

and thats a wrapppppppp!!

from the 10th and final chapter of utilities included

masterpost

#one piece #zosan #sanji #zoro #luffy #trafalgar law #utilities included #I DID IT. BREE DID IT. WE DID IT!! #i cannot believe i got all ten pages done on time. i feel ridiculous #AND THIS OFFICIALLY MARKS THE CONCLUSION of me drawing a comic a week for ten weeks. I HAVE LIKE. 45 PAGES OF COMICS FROM THIS #i definitely gotta compile em into a little pdf #wow #bree. if u see this. thank you. its been an honor to work on this with you. #i love how visual ur writing is to me. and i look forward to ur next project and how i can stick my horrible little fingers all over it #man. im just so proud. might still be unemployed #but im making art with a friend!

[rapidhighway]

sanic ✌ for the au perhaps? idk

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic fanart #art #digital art #sonic #sth #fanart #ive been getting easily distracted from my aus recently which is horrible #but i guess im just too ambitious all the time and get scared -_- #idk ive been feeling really bad about drawing lately i just dont really feel good about any of my drawings rn #like i like this one but idk i just dont feel excited about it... #idk what to do abt it #id like to get into one of my aus for once #but i just feel nothing rn.. #OK WAHTEVERRR this was a cool pose #so i gave him so shoes to go with it

[vaguely-concerned]

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

#the locked tomb #harrowhark nonagesimus #john gaius #harrow the ninth #this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL #this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships #(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think #the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real #but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed) #there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone? #yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't) #the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god #when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care #(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution) #and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on #it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there #while john is -- well he sure is being john huh #this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end #(with john slam dunked right into hell that is) #it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up #john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too

[factual-fantasy]

I know they don't really exist in your AU, but what would your idea of a Glamrock Fredbear and a Glamrock Spring Bonnie look like?

You don't have to draw this is you don't want to. :0

Now I don't usually take any kind of drawing requests.. but you caught me at a time where I was really itching to draw and I needed some inspiration XD

So here ya are, my version of the Glamrock spring boys would look something like this! (With the other Freddy's and Bonnies to compare!)

These very shiny and glittery fellows have some black, white, purple and a lot of gold in their color palette. They have unique face shapes and body types to further distinguish them from Bonnie and Freddy. Also unlike the other animatronics who have different themes from each other and have their own stand alone attractions.. Spring and Fred actually share a theme and attraction. They were built with the same theme and color palette becuase they are specifically designed to always be together.

They are like Bonnie and Freddy in that they are best friends. But Bonnie and Freddy can function without each other and can preform in separate attractions. Spring and Fred cannot. They cannot preform while separated.

This inability to separate the two could potentially cause problems.. But mostly it would just mean that Fred and Spring might not be put up on the big stage with the other animatronics for huge performances. Because it could get in the way of the show.. but despite all that they're still kind and trustworthy animatronics and their shows are a hit with the kids.🌟👍🌟

#my response #fnaf security breach #fredbear and springbonnie #glamrock freddy #freddy fazbear #bonnie the bunny #glamrock bonnie #tempted to make this an actual au #imagine the angst of separating the two #or better yet Glamrock Freddy looking to Spring for comfort becuase he misses Bonnie but its just not the same #Fred and Freddy's bond growing stronger after loosing Bonnie becuase Fred knows how horrible it must feel to lose your Bunny.. #hehegheheheh #I love making angst

[hansoeii]

I'm very much not normal about loki and mobius right now

#the way I fully expected the show to just have them act like good ol' buddies #but instead they gave us extremely touchy mobius like that man couldn't let him go for a second #then LOKI ALMOST CONFESSING APPARENTLY??? #Mobius not caring about getting his skin ripped off cos all the cares about is his loki being alright #AND THEN THEM FALLING ON TOP OF EACH OTHER?? #And no mention of the selfcest kiss either and showing how sylvie just wants a normal little life???? #Feels like they're pretending that romance never happened and I'm hoping it stays that way #Anyways I'm so not okay right now like homy shit #This is either the greatest romance ever or another horrible queerbait added to the list #Loki #Loki season 2 #Loki season 2 spoilers #Lokius #Loki spoilers

[nightlocked-in]

“peeta is bisexual” you guys are losing the vision. peeta isn’t even straight. katniss INVENTED sexuality for him. whatever katniss identifies as, he’s like “yeah, i’ll take that one” no questions asked

#katnissexual #i’m joking btw #and i agree with yall #he says you’ve ruined all other women for me #yeah twink we know #the hunger games #katniss everdeen #thg #nightlocked-in #everlark #peeta mellark #hunger games headcanon #hunger games incorrect quotes #thg incorrect quotes #bisexual peeta #peeta what’s your sexuality? #idk #what do u mean u don’t know #i’ve never thought about it #well i mean… do you like guys? do u like girls? #he thinks for a second…. girl #just one #katniss he says #i’m convinced in modern au’s when he’s dating someone else he just pictures katniss when fucking and then feels horribly guilty for it later #peeta why don’t you look at me during sex? #huh? oh glimmer uh… i just get distracted by how uh… good it feels. yeah that haha #katniss was his first love in every thing and not only was she his first love she was his ONLY love #so he’s never even considered being attracted to girls besides her #so when he tries to date he finds girls that are objectively attractive but on a scale of 1 to katniss they are still 1’s to him #and that never stops being a problem

[chandralia]

this actually means everything to me idc

#it feels very…… ‘I need to know you’re here’ shdkfhsj #I know it’s just how they’ve been positioned but my horrible bkdk brainrot is LOUD #’this is a photo shoot and they did this subtle silly touch to feel grounded’ #candid-esque with deku kicking his feets 🥹 #katsuki touching his shoe before shoving it away yeah…. #THIS IS RIDICULOUS #ENOUGH !!!!!!! 😭 #bkdk #dkbk #bakudeku #dekubaku #:’) #ktdk #katsudeku #dekukatsu #katsuizu #izukatsu

[justsomeectoplasm]

MAN

#I ramble #mesoamerica #Actually feel horrible about this #fuck colonizers #So many information just lost to time and it's making me die inside

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

#spilled ink #woke up at 530 to write this lmafo #me in a cold sweat: #how do i be normal #edit in the tags: #hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate #like if this is about X specific diagnosis #and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition'' #because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc #and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition #but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis #because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons #why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are. #that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person #.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that #it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself #palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with.... #this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate #would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them #bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume #that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now #we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal'' #[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into] #but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be'' #and im like ... of course it was about you. #art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation . #you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you. #there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this #regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it #and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

#pjo #percy jackson #nico di angelo #Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?'' #and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus #but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3'' #and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to'' #only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it #and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book #Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out'' #Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.'' #''this has been so bad for my health'' #Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested. #Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him'' #Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him. #and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE #though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it. #he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure'' #nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards. #which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for

[sophsicle]

OKAY question

i wanna reread choices and edit it but i can never make myself do it cause im like "ugh wow so long i simply cannot"

but also, every time i do reread parts of it i have like *thoughts* like SO many thoughts about it and about what i was thinking at the time and how that has or hasn't changed and what i was trying to do and what i love and what i hate and blah blah blah

SO the question: if i did like a lil read-a-long with soph thing, would anyone be interested? like maybe in the form of small podcast episodes where i discuss the chapters as i edit them and you guys can like tell me the different stuff you want me to talk about etc etc and then i will have the motivation to actually do this and also somewhere to dump all of my *thoughts*

or is that like, a stupid idea that no one asked for? i cannot decide whether this is leaning more on the fun cute side or the annoying keep this to yourself side, Y'KNOW????? so i ask

#like in theory i could do this on tiktok like a normal person #but tiktok terrifies me and i don't wanna #or i could just write posts about it #but i feel like that is going to be infinitely less fun to me than just like #going on lil rants #like extended public voice notes #but again maybe a horrible idea idk #sometimes i just WANT to talk about it like in depth because im a nerd #and i wanna love it again #okay sorry im done now #soph rambles #choices

[nervousmonolith]

get arcaned L

close ups + taglist

Taglist: @monachopsissssss @lefthandedbastard @getwoold @xpoolboy @apollos-boyfriend @purpledthots @pcbblebrain @orangekingfisher @pericrayola @bioluminescentfrog

#monolith mumbles #qsmp fanart #qsmp philza #philza fanart #monoliths art vault #feel like shit but posting anyway #drawings good i just got horrible news though. bless

[skin-slave]

I wanna say something and all I ask is that you read the whole thing before burning me at the stake.

There are always horrible things happening. There are always ppl who are suffering and dying. There are always corrupt politicians. There are always human rights violations. There are always tragedies. There is always misinformation and exploitation. War is always looming on the horizon or busting in the back gate. The world is always fucked up.

That fact does not mean that the lives affected matter any less than our own. It does not mean that we don't do what we can to help. It does mean that we cannot afford to put our lives on hold while a horrible thing consumes us.

I'm sure that, if your parent/sibling/partner/best friend had a medical emergency, you would gladly do whatever you needed to do to be there. I'm sure that you would sacrifice sleep, skip meals, call in to work, and be by their side until they were stable. You can afford to do that when those emergencies are infrequent and relatively brief.

You cannot do that with the world's emergencies. They are not infrequent. They are not relatively brief. You have to sleep, eat and shower. You have to pay your bills. You have to survive.

Daily life goes on.

It feels unjust. Of course it does. How can you possibly go about the mundane like nothing's going on? You Don't. You go about the mundane like there are horrible things happening. You make the adjustments you can sustain without sacrificing your well-being. You make drastic changes for as long as you can, when you simply can't take it anymore, and then you step back, take a breath, and go grocery shopping. You have to. If you don't, you won't survive the horrible thing.

No one who is going thru a horrible thing wants you to self-destruct. There's so much good you can do over the course of your life if you maintain that life. Adding your name to the list of casualties will prevent all of that good from happening. You have to survive.

And that includes the things that seem optional, bc those things aren't actually optional at all. You need to laugh. You need to watch movies and love your pets and go for walks. You need food that tastes good and clothes that make you feel confident. You need that show you'll regret not seeing. You need to get takeout and take naps. You need to have the weight lifted frequently, so you can heal the parts of you that get worn.

If you aren't living as well as you can, while making adjustments you can afford to make, you will not survive.

Please survive.

#zesty take #i guess? #idk i just feel so sad #theres so much guilt going around #so much judgement of ppl for continuing to live #the horrible things are constant and overlapping #if we waited until they were over we would starve in every way #survival btw isnt just breathing its living as well as you can #if you only chuck gas in your car when you abdolutely have to and put off the maintenance and cobble it together when it needs a real fix #it may still turn over but it will not be able to function well #pls do not buy into the bullshit that gas is enough and if you do any more youre selfish or evil or whatever #it is not true

[sergle]

I had a video consult with a different surgeon, and he / everything about the consult were the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of the guy I saw the other day he was fucking amazing, complete night and day, I feel. So fucking relieved. and I'm getting my breast reduction next month.

#late september- the dates available were the 22nd and 28th #I think 28th is just so I can have as much time as possible to mentally prepare #while still getting it done in a short window #it's real. IT'S REAL. IT'S REAL NOW!!!!! #sergle.txt #I felt so horrible yesterday and now I know that everything the first surgeon told me was Bullshit #and I don't have to worry about any of that. #I genuinely feel like I'm in good hands with the doc I spoke to today. He was so nice and so helpful #and his results look fantastic

[stuckinapril]

The whole “be responsible not for other people’s feelings but to them” distinction is so so true… at some point you need to realize that other people’s insecurities really are their responsibility & dimming or contorting yourself to make them feel better helps neither you nor them. Firstly, bc they need to realize what they’re doing and grow up. And secondly, bc you’re not just compromising on a one-time thing. You’re comprising on who you are as a person. I don’t want to look back when I’m older and stay stuck wishing I held my ground despite people’s projections or asserted my presence more or didn’t apologize so much for who I am. I really just want to own everything (the good and bad) & continue doing what makes me happy

#This is something to bring up to the therapist for sure bc im not perfect on this yet #and i think that’s also another thing im learning to be less hard on myself for — just realizing im 21 and that having insecurities or weak #Spots still is literally okay. Making mistakes is okay. I beat myself up for this too much #I am not a horrible person for being young & learning how to live & no one will make me feel otherwise #This goes in the other direction too in the sense that I need to stop being apologetic of my accomplishments for fear of #Triggering other people’s insecurities. That is not and nor will it ever be my responsibility #I’m always going to be graceful w other people’s emotions but I’m no longer going to overcompensate bc it helps no one #And is not a marker of love for me to do so