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starryserenade · 1 year

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Myth and Magic: Prologue

Description: When Tir na NÓg--the fabled land of the fae--falls to a dark power, the destinies of two young mice are set in motion. As each struggle to make their way in an ever-darkening world, they must learn to trust one another, or risk forever losing that which they hold most dear.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44709304/chapters/112488658

Next Chapter: Coming Soon

Ribbons of twilight stretched along the sky, streaming through the clouds to make way for the first layer of stars to breach the horizon. The pink hue settled on the ground below in glowing pools mixed alongside seas of grass. Sailing over them were two horses and their riders, cutting through the breeze with ripples of fabric trailing behind them. Though the expanse that surrounded them was clear and green, it was towards a darker place they rode—a forest that seemed to divide the world in two, with trees whose branches grasped at the light outside its borders.

As the riders neared this stark divide, the horses whinnied and reared up, flaring their nostrils in defiance and nearly throwing their masters from their backs. Skillfully, the two maneuvered the reins and managed to calm their steers, coming to a halt at the foot of the forest.

One of the two-a mouse dressed in a soft, green dress-slid off first. She was tiny, not even three feet tall, and so had a ways to travel when she leapt to the ground. This, however, did nothing to deter her grace. Her slippers landed on the grass with barely a sound as the streams of fabric round her dress fluttered about her ankles. Her friend was a bit less subtle, and looking to see there were no others about, undid the outer layer of dress so as to move about more freely, then jumped to the earth with a thud. As she brushed her skirt and corset off, the mouse cast her a glare and placed her hands on her hips.

“Really, Daisy?”

“What?” The duck glared back. “This is your party, not mine. I’m just here because you so desperately wanted me to meet your mysterious suitor. Besides, if there are any other handsome fairy bachelors, who am I to deny them a good view?” She scoffed sarcastically, landing the point with a decided shake of her tail feathers.

At this, the mouse’s frustrated look shifted into one of disappointment. “You still don’t believe me, do you?” She muttered.

Daisy, who had not meant any real harm, realized how her words had struck, “Well, I…” she sighed, then continued. “Listen, Minnie, it’s just…they’re fairies. Heavens forbid I don’t believe they exist–’course they do–but you’ve heard the stories. They’re tricky. They can make you think and feel all manner of things that aren’t-”

“True?” Minnie interrupted, lifting an eyebrow. “I’m not blinked if that’s what you’re trying to say.” She fiddled with the fabric of her dress and looked into the shadows of the forest, letting out a soft puff of air. “I know what it must look like, but…I’ve never felt this way before. Not about anyone. My whole life I’ve done nothing but what’s been asked of me, but right now I have the chance to make a choice of my own. If I go back to the castle tonight…if I go through with what they want me to do…I’ll lose that chance forever.”

They were both quiet for a moment, then Daisy chuckled and threw up her hands in surrender. “Okay, I admit it, you’ve got me there. Even if we do get trapped forever in the dark and unforgiving depths of the fae realm, it’s better than spending the rest of your life with Mortimer.”

“Oh, I knew you’d understand!” Minnie laughed, a wide smile gracing her face as she flung herself into a hug.

Daisy just grinned and playfully rolled her eyes, then the two turned to face the forest together. By now, the sky was a darkening shade of velvet blue and moonlight had begun to peak out from behind the clouds. “Sooo…” Daisy started, clicking her beak. “How are we supposed to find this fairy land of yours?”

From somewhere within the forest, an owl screeched, and Minnie turned to answer her friend with a wink. “Just follow me, got it?” Ignoring Daisy’s incredulous look, she pulled something from her pocket-an emerald figure of intertwining knots–and held it to her lips. She let out a soft, indiscernible whisper as she breathed against the crystal then lifted it to the sky. A beam of moonlight landed on its surface and sparkled in the center, and for a moment, it was as if all sound and motion had escaped from the earth. Then the light within the figure ran along each branch of shimmering crystalline and released a burst of light that stirred up the wind into an uproar. The leaves from the trees before them were caught up in its wake, and surrounded each of the two girls in a spiral of green. Daisy opened her beak to let out a cry of surprise, but the rushing wind carried it far from Minnie’s ears. She simply closed her eyes, smiled softly, and held her hand to her chest as the sudden storm overtook them.

When the wind had calmed a few moments later, Minnie opened her eyes and let out a gasp of joy at the sight that met them. “Daisy!” she hissed, nudging her friend who was cowering with her hands clasped over her head.

“Is it over?” the duck squawked loudly, and Minnie laughed.

“Just look!”

Daisy carefully opened one eye then, face struck with wonder, stood straight and took in the view. “Janey Mac…” she whispered.

It was as if time had rewound, for the sky before them was lit with twilight once again. The line of trees had grown tenfold and seemed otherworldly, with veins of gold and silver running through their trunks and into branches that swayed with leaves of every kind of precious stone. Rivers of moonlight wove through grassy hills of auburn grass, bridges of skillfully etched opal lining a way overtop them and into paths that stretched between an endless expanse of enormous fauna–mushrooms, ferns, and lily-of-the-valleys that fluttered gently in the breeze.

Daisy took a step backwards and Minnie caught her wrist, prompting the duck to glance behind her. If the divide between the hillside and forest had been stark before, it was cavernous now. The blanket of night still covered the world from which they’d come, and there was not a hint of magic even just steps behind where they stood.

“We’re on The Brink,” Minnie explained, and nodded towards the world ahead. “Once we enter the forest, we’ll cross over into Tir na nÓg.”

At first lost for words, the duck cast a nervous look behind her, then shrugged and let out an exasperated sigh. “Can’t well turn back now, can we?”

The mouse smiled and nodded then, each taking a deep breath, they stepped forward into the fairy plane. The world shuddered, and the place behind them was transformed, the fairy world now overtaking their entire view.

“You know…maybe getting trapped in the fairy realm wouldn’t be so bad, after all,” Daisy murmured, eyeing a rose blossom that was so bright it seemed to be made of rubies. At this, Minnie wrinkled her nose and nudged her pointedly with her elbow.

“Daisy! We can take the tour later,” the mouse scolded, then looked about her. A hint of uneasiness fell over her face as she did. “It’s strange…” she whispered.

Daisy narrowed her eyes. “What is?”

“He usually meets me here…” Her voice trailed off with a quiver of nerves. “Something’s not right.”

“Maybe he’s just running late?” Daisy prompted distractedly.

“No. No, he wouldn’t be. Not today. This was…well…” She wrung her hands then flicked her tail, flashing a smile. “Nevermind. I’m sure you’re right.

But Daisy’s curiosity had been piqued, and was not easily quelled. “No, wait. What were you going to say?”

“It doesn’t matter.” The mouse waved off the question. “Let’s get on, the palace isn’t far. If he’s not here, that’s where he’ll be.” She ushered the reluctant duck away from a glittering patch of diamond-crested bluebells. The path they took led them through thicker foliage, and all manner of mystic creatures began to appear from within the shadows, eyes glittering as they watched the two mortal visitors. Minnie walked ahead, the glass amulet clutched in her hands, unphased by their watchers. Daisy, on the other hand, moved with ruffled feathers, nervously glancing at everything that moved.

“So…” she spoke eventually, breaking the deafening silence and jogging to catch up with Minnie, who had been uncharacteristically quiet. “All the time I’ve known you, and you’ve never once mentioned this prince of yours.”

Minnie cast her an empty glance, as if she’d just been shaken from deep within her thoughts, then, realizing what had been asked, giggled lightly and slid the amulet back into a pocket of her dress. “You may be my best friend, but you’re horrible at keeping secrets. The whole clan would’ve known by morning.”

Daisy gasped in mock offense, and opened her mouth to argue then closed it just as quick and shrugged. “Right, fair. But…” She bounded in front of Minnie and batted her eyelashes. “I know now, so you might as well tell me everything. Like…where and how did you meet?”

A light breeze fluttered through the ferns and the canopy above their heads, sending a whirlwind of jasper leaves down on them. Minnie looked up through the vortex, the dappled light dancing upon her muzzle. “When I was younger,” she breathed, just loud enough to be heard above the river they were following. “Father used to take me into the forest and tell me stories about the fae who lived there. About how they cared for all the lost and broken things of this world, and could turn sorrow into sadness. He said they would protect me too, so long as I believed. But when he fell ill…” The mouse’s tail had fallen into a sorrowful lull, and she walked several steps in silence before taking another breath. “Mortimer blamed the fairies. You remember, don’t you? He had snares placed all around the forest.”

“We thought him mad,” snorted Daisy. “And he never caught a thing.”

“Not mad, just wicked,” Minnie snarled, then lowered her voice. “But he did. Once.”

Daisy stopped in her tracks, mouth gaping open. “No!” she gasped, dumbfounded. “You ’don’t mean-”

Minnie nodded. “The night father died–the same night I learned of my fate to be married to that slimy gaimbín –I went back to the forest, to the place father had first taken me when I was young. That’s where I found…him. His wing had been twisted in one of Mortimer’s iron nets. And the cruel thing…it was killing him. So of course I cut him loose, and-” She paused and bit her lip, trying to form words for something she wasn’t quite sure how to describe. “Oh, Daisy,” she murmured, face flushing a deep red. “I’d not met him once in my life but the moment I saw those eyes, I was certain I knew him. It was like all of father’s stories had come to life right in front of me.”

Her tail ribboned behind her in pure bliss, until she caught sight of Daisy staring at her with a dumbstruck look in her eyes. “Er…sorry,” she mumbled, tucking a tuft of fur behind her ear. “I suppose I got a bit carried away there.”

But Daisy simply burst into a fit of laughter, swiping an amused stream of tears from her cheek with one hand and leaning up against a table-sized mushroom with the other.

“Well, you don’t have to be rude about it!’ Minnie snapped, firmly planting her hands on her hips.

“No, no, no,” the duck wheezed, struggling to catch her breath. “It’s just…all those days I caught you acting pure ossified without a sniff of juice about you…it all makes sense now! You were in love!”

At this, Minnie blushed an even darker shade of crimson.. “Wha-?! Was I that obvious?”

“You’re lucky everyone thinks you’re so sweet, else it would have been clear as crystal you were up to something…either that, or you’d been blinked. You had me fooled for a bit!”

Groaning, Minnie buried her face in her hands and took up a brisk pace, pushing a tall clump of crimson ferns out of their way. “Ugh, let’s just keep walking,”

“Hey, wait! One more thing!” panted Daisy as she pulled herself together just enough to keep up. “Why now? What’s so special about this visit that you wanted to take me with you?”

“Well…” the girl fiddled with the fabric of her skirt before looking over her shoulder with a nervous grin and a hesitant reply. “You’ll see.”

She did not give Daisy a chance to respond, and instead darted ahead, weaving through a luminescent clump of mushrooms and moss. “We’re nearly there!” She called. “Keep up!” Minnie’s countenance had shifted quite suddenly, and her nervousness from before seemed to have melted into a joyful excitement the further they pushed through the forest. Fairy creatures were not the only ones watching now, for the fae are drawn to pleasure and happiness, and so the fairies themselves had begun to emerge from their hiding places. Tiny pixies with light of all colors crept out from behind the flora to join in a glittering dance. Several druids, their bodies made entirely from wood–aspen, cedar, and pine–shook their heads in awakening and scattered leaves from their crowns. And elven-looking folk with wide, feathered wings and twisted horns peered at the girls from the tops of the trees.

Following the river, Minnie bounded over stones with a carefree essence that had been reserved for far too long, only glancing behind her every now and then to be sure Daisy was still following. She was, though not without a few unfortunate splashes in the shallow waves. As they progressed, the river narrowed until it was little more than a small stream. And at the end of its reach, its waters branched out into a lake filled with glittering stars. Daisy gasped and Minnie smiled as it came into view, for at its center lay a palace unlike any on the mortal plane. It was not a castle made of brick and stone, but an enormous oak tree with branches that reached far past the clouds and a trunk whose size surpassed even some mortal cities. Magic swirled up and down its bark, and thousands of tiny lights twinkled within its leafy canopy.

As they approached, two fairies, each about the same size as the girls, came swooping down to meet them, scattering an array of feathers across the shoreline. “His Majesty awaits you,” they spoke in unison, then parted and gestured towards the lake. The waters split immediately, creating a clear path towards the tree.

“There’s no need for formalities!” Minnie laughed, waving at the guards as though they were old friends. But they did not say a word, and simply side-eyed each other when she spoke. Awkwardly, Minnie rubbed her arm and moved along towards the new pathway, gesturing for Daisy to follow. “Right then…” she mumbled. “That was strange.”

“Did you know them?” Asked Daisy, flashing a wink back at one of the guards who, though visibly confused, proceeded to blush profusely.

“Yes, quite well,” she replied breathlessly, a flash of worry striking her eyes as they passed through the waters and disappeared from view. “They didn’t seem to recognize me though, did they?”

“Not a bit.”

They walked in silence for a moment, but when the base of the tree came into view, Minnie paused and pursed her lips. Looking left and right, she pulled the amulet from her dress and held it out to her friend. “I want you to keep this for me,” she whispered. “I trust the prince with my life, but something doesn’t seem right. If anything happens, you must keep this safe.”

“If something happens?” Daisy stared at the amulet then at her friend. “What do you mean, ‘if something ha-”

But before she could finish, the sound of a creaking doorway was heard, and the massive wooden gate cracked open. Minnie shoved the amulet in Daisy’s palm, and whipped forward to face the doorway head on. “Hide it!” she hissed under her breath, prompting Daisy to shove the emerald figure in her corset. “And if anyone offers you something to eat, do not take it.”

Minnie stepped forward and bowed lightly to each guard as she stepped into the castle. Daisy clumsily followed suit, happening to look up at one of the guards as she did. They were far different than those from across the lake, their faces concealed behind dark masks that made them seem more like shadows than fae. Daisy shuddered, flirtatious countenance instantly dissolved, and followed Minnie inside as quickly as she could.

The moment they crossed the threshold, the door behind them vanished, and they found themselves seated in a brightly lit banquet hall. The room was made of twisted pillars of wood, each flecked with diamonds that caused the light to bounce off them in a dreamlike gleam. Fairies of all kinds laughed and danced around the table at which they were sat, its surface littered with all manner of tantalizing dishes. And at the back of the hall, up a flight of stairs, an empty throne sat overlooking the revelry. Minnie was too busy staring at this throne to notice when Daisy reached for a crimson glass of wine, and by the time she had turned around, her friend was holding an empty glass.

“Daisy!” she cried out. “What did I tell you?”

“What?” The duck rolled her eyes, then flashed a curious wink, and Minnie couldn’t help but notice that her own glass was suddenly twice as full as the others. “You said not to eat anything.”

Before Minnie could argue, a fairy in an elegant hooded robe had approached them from behind and held out another glass filled to the brim, which Daisy quickly snatched. At first glance, Minnie’s heart leaped, for dressed in royal robes she had only ever seen one fairy wear, she was certain this fae was the one for which she had waited. But then she caught a glimpse at the wings to his back and in that moment, her breath might as well have left her. Before he had even removed his hood, she had stood, slamming her palms down on the table so that it shook the glassware and nearly toppled her own cup. “Who are you?” she hissed, face as red as the wine on the table.

The ballroom silenced. For just as much as the fae adore revelry, they despise anger and sadness. But the mysterious fairy looked at her, calm and collected, without a hint of surprise on his face. “Princess,” he chuckled. “You came all the way to Tir na nÓg, and don’t even know when the king himself is serving you?”

At this, she drew back, then leaned in with a scowl on her face. “The fairy realm has no king,” she spat. “Not yet. That was going to change today.” She held his stare as she spoke, eyeing his every feature with distrust. He was short, even smaller than she was, save for the rabbitlike ears atop his head which added at least a foot to his height. Despite this, there was a bitter pridefulness about him, and he did nothing but laugh despite his accusation.

“You’re mistaken, though you shouldn’t be blamed. The fae realm can do all sorts of things to a mortals’ mind.”

At this, Minnie scoffed and whirled around to face the rest of the fairies in the hall. “You all know me!” She cried. “And I know that this-’ she gestured to the fairy “king”. “-is not the prince you all care for! Don’t you remember?”

The fairies all glanced at one another but showed no signs of recognition, and looked at Minnie with empty eyes. Seeing them, Minnie took a step back against the table, her shoulders slumping. “What’s wrong with them?”

The king’s sneer melted into a snarl, and he stepped closer to the mouse, the broken horn atop his head gleaming like a shattered dagger. “Your prince does not exist here, and he never has. My advice to you? Follow your friend’s lead,” He gestured to Daisy, who seemed to have downed another glass of wine. “Eat, drink, be merry! Then wake in the morning and let this place become nothing more than a distant dream.”

Minnie glanced at Daisy, then back at the king.

This time, a dark shadow fell across his eyes, and he lowered his voice so that no others could hear. “I know why you came here,” he growled. “The lovestruck princess so desperate to escape her fate that she would abandon friends and kingdom alike just for a chance at freedom..”

“That’s not-” she gasped, taken aback by his claims.

“Oh, please,” he countered sharply. “You know it is. And you know what?” he leaned in, speaking even more hushed than before. “If your prince ever did exist, I’d say he made the same mistake.”

Minnie’s eyes widened, pools of fear and heartache as she realized what his words implied. “What have you done to him?” she choked, her breaths quickening.

“Oh, it’s all right, though,” the rabbit continued. “I wouldn’t dream of leaving you with such painful memories. Fairies have their own, special way of dealing with unpleasant emotions.” He stared at her dead on,, and past all the anger and cruelty, she could have sworn she saw pain in those eyes. “They forget.”

Minnie pushed back her chair and tried to run, but two of the shadowy fae–red eyes glittering beneath their masks–grabbed her by the wrists and kept her from moving an inch, no matter how she writhed.

Seeing this, Daisy rose from her seat, reaching for a dagger that strapped to her hip. “Princess!” she called out, sounding surprisingly attentive for the number of drinks she had consumed.

“Daisy!” Minnie screeched as loud as she could. “Daisy, run!”

“But-”

But no sooner had Daisy begun to protest than the king himself waved his hand. Her friend vanished, and the glass she had been holding crashed to the ground in a crimson pool. A look of horror flashed across her face, but the king scoffed. “She’ll be fine. Your friend will wake in her bed with a headache and no memory of where she got it–a quite common occurrence for her, I’d imagine.”

But now, even the room itself had begun to shift. Ornate walls and bright lights vanished, until they had turned to shattered stone and creeping moss.. When she blinked again, the fairy world had gone entirely, and surrounding them was nothing more than a mortal ruin–a stone castle with crumbling walls sitting atop a fog-ridden island. Minnie swallowed, looking down at the lake’s waves that lapped far below the turret on which they stood.

“Mortals have no place alongside fairies,” said the king, lifting the jewel before her eyes. “So you will forget you ever came to our realm. You will forget Tir na nÓg, and you will forget your prince.”

Taking a deep breath, he muttered some words in the fairy tongue, and a snaking thread of shadow appeared from the jewel. It rose like a plume of smoke at first, weaving aimlessly in the air. But then, slowly, it crept towards Minnie, hovering like a serpent about to strike.. “No…” she whimpered, eyes locked on the thread of magic as she tried desperately to escape the grip of her captors.

But the curse slithered forward, deaf to her pleas. And with a flick of the king’s wrist, it leapt forward and pierced her mind. She gasped, all the air driven from her body as she fell to her knees, opening her mouth to scream for a name she could no longer remember. Through the haze, she saw the king turn his head. And in that moment, she drew every ounce of her strength to pull free from the cold hands that bound her. She stumbled backwards as the fae lost their grip, but her mind was still a fog. By the time she had noticed the stone crumbling beneath her feet, it was too late. There was a rush of wind and mist, and then the icy waters of the lake surrounded her.

The world slowed as a deep chill took hold. Minnie, too cold and too overcome by grief to fight it, let it take her. She blinked, watching as the light filtered through the top of the waves and grew ever-distant. A peace rested in the darkness, and she longed to give into it. But a greater pain lay in her heart that would not let her rest, a loneliness that called to a soul she didn’t know, but could feel. Though she fought to cling to that feeling, the waters were winning the battle. Shadow flitted at the corners of her vision, growing darker all the time.

Then a voice like a deep whisper shuddered through the waters.

Are you the one?

Minnie was silent, certain she had merely imagined the sound. But then the fog in her brain dispersed every so slightly, and the voice continued.

I see your heart. You have lost something great.

Minnie hesitated, unsure of how, or if, she should respond.

Y-yes…but I can’t remember what. She thought at last, squinting through the water to try and catch a glimpse of the source of the noise, but it seemed to come only from her thoughts.. Can you tell me?

I cannot. The curse that binds you is great.

Then what can you do?

I can give you a second chance. There is another who seeks you, though he does not know it.

Is he the one I’m looking for?

…You must find that out for yourself.

Bubbles had begun to rise up from the bottom of the lake, and Minnie glanced nervously beneath her. The burning in her lungs had become nearly unbearable.

What do I have to do?

Wait. Guard these waters, and wait for his return. Do you accept my offer?

The mouse flicked her tail, desperate for air but even more desperate for answers.

Wait? For how long? What do you mean by bound?

Do you accept? The voice repeated.

Minnie’s vision had begun to fade once again, numbness spreading along her body as the clutches of death crept close.

Do you accept? The voice emphasized one, final time. And Minnie, with her last bit of strength, pulled a hand to her aching heart and muttered a single word in answer.

“Yes.”

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umilily · 1 year

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i'm back. (and i didn't commit murder, but it was close.)

#lily talks #i took some nice pictures that i'll probably post later #many creatures to be seen #but all that really needs to be said is that it was exhausting and i'm done socialising for the rest of the month #i am so tired of dealing with extroverts #there was only one bed but unfortunately instead of a friends to lovers fic this was more like strangers to enemies lmao #(not quite that bad but oof)#like my roomate was alright even if we ahd absolutely NOTHING in common but she was incapable of talking in an indoor voice #or just not saying something for longer than 2 minutes #and this one dude nearly chewed my ear off with his whining about having to walk places and do things #like you know #as is to be expected of a course like this one #food was the shit though #today i ate my weight in Kaiserschmarrn and that is the type of life i want to lead #also once again bavarians are on a whole other level #suffered a cultural shock talking to them #(why would you mix dark beer with coke and cherry liqueur??#that was probably the first time since i moved here that i felt understood by the austrians #also shout out to the woman running the inn we were staying at who saved us all by literally putting our shoes in the oven to dry #ironically the only day of this trip that my feet were dry was today when i had to put on a chest wader and get into a river up to my hips #in conclusion #i am not made for conducting research outside #(i nearly died on our hike and almost had to crawl towards the end bc it was so steep and uneven before giving up entirely)#but the perfect job for me is work where you have to pay attention to detail and can take as long as you'd like #i had to check riverbed samples for larvae and stuff today and that was the most relaxing thing i've done in ages

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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 2 months

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It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader

[Chapter 29] || [Chapter 31]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.4K~ cw: injuries + recovery Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: johnny is a filthy man :) but also we love him so is that a problem? no, it's not.

Chapter 30: Playing House

It took a while, but, Simon got healthy, and John and Kyle got their soreness’ settled enough to be able to go back to work.

Johnny, however, needed a little extra TLC. Being shot in the shoulder involved a longer period of medical leave, paired with a long while of physical therapy…

And that means that he decided to make himself your problem.

The rest of the lads left on a mission a few days after being cleared and, as such, left Johnny with you. Not because the lad is incapable of looking after himself, but more so because he, himself, decided he didn’t want to be away from you.

And so, whenever you leave for work, Johnny leaves for PT, then, goes to base for a bit, mostly doing work on things that he can feasibly do without straining his left shoulder/arm… Like doing paperwork and reports, going to the gym for cardio, crunches, and leg and hip workouts… Then he comes home to you.

He goes shopping for you, cooks you dinner, cleans after the two of you, despite your insistence that he rest… But, as it turns out, Johnny isn’t good at that.

Nonetheless, the flat is cleaner than ever before, Johnny’s drawing supplies are permanently stationed on the dining room table, next to your laptop, and some of his clothes have taken a permanent spot in your closet.

And, of course, he spends every night in your bed, spooning you from behind and hiding his face in your neck while you watch tiktoks, talk, or he regale you with the most ridiculous of puns.

In a way, it’s like Johnny MacTavish is your live-in boyfriend. Or, rather, that you’re playing house with him.

You wouldn’t say you hate it. In fact, it’s quite nice to have someone staying with you all night… Johnny is a good partner, he’s helpful and chill and provides wonderful cuddles…

Though you’ve jokingly started calling him ‘Johnny Price’, because, since he hasn’t been working for a month now, he’s let his beard grow out. And he looks like Price more often than he does not.

It’s on week three of your new routine with Johnny when you’re at work, that you get a text from him:

Johnny: guess what bonnie. Johnny: [1 Video Attachment]

You definitely should’ve put on some headphones before you watched that video during work… His grunting and groaning was almost pornographic and definitely earned you a few confused/worried looks from your coworkers…

But all you could think of was how he was finally easing back into his arm/shoulder workouts, which meant he finally got cleared by his PT to do as such!

you: did you finally get cleared johnny? 🥺 Johnny: cleared at 50%. Johnny: not there yet. but soon. you: I’M SO PROUD OF YOU! 🫶🫶🫶 Johnny: thank ye bonnie you: this calls for a celebration! Johnny: i like how ye think bonnie but im not cleared yet to be able to manhandle ye 😏 you: get ur mind out of the gutter johnny price!!!!!!!! Johnny: oof not ye still calling me that! you: ur beard is looking like his what do u expect of me! 🙄 Johnny: yer right idk what i expected. Johnny: so about this celebration. you: i was thinking we go out for dinner? Johnny: are we going to dress up nice? you: i wasn’t thinking we’d go somewhere super fancy because i do not have money johnnyyyy Johnny: oh good because i dont think i can button up a shirt my shoulder is sore 😖 you: okay then! nando’s!!! 🫶 you: and i’ll give you a shoulder rub when we get home Johnny: speaking my language bonnie.

And so that’s what you did. You went home in a hurry to shower and change, and, for once, Johnny wasn’t there, having chosen to shower and change at base.

You met up in front of the Nando’s closest to your flat and you immediately chuckled at the sight of him. Sure, he had changed, but he was still very much wearing a pair of jeans, sneakers and a grey zip-up hoodie… Although you could very obviously tell he was naked beneath the hoodie.

“Mo leannan.” He murmured in an exaggeratedly polite tone as he popped the door open for you with his good arm.

“Thank you, my good sir…” You joked, which caused you both to chuckle and shake your head.

You got inside, ordered your food and, as you talked, you site adjacent to him, right on his left side, so you could gently rub his arm with your hand.

“Do you miss the lads?” You ended up asking him as you caressed his bicep and shoulder with your hand, watching him wince a bit at it, because he felt so sore from his first workout.

“A little.” Johnny admitted as he looked toward you. “Do you miss ‘em?” He returned the question. You found yourself nodding in reply.

“Having you here is wonderful though… I… quite miss you lot when you’re all gone together. Not to mention I worry sick for you.” You admitted and pressed your lips together a bit awkwardly.

“You do?” He asked you, to which you nodded. So, he continued. “Well.. I guess I understand. I imagine my mam and sisters worry about me too… As do the Kyle and the Captain’s families.” He conceded.

“That’s actually…” You found yourself trailing off as the waiter brought you your orders and you thanked him, unboxing your food so you could dig in.

“As I was saying…” You trailed off. “That’s actually an interesting point… I feel like I know very little about you and the guys’ when it comes to your personal lives… Outside of hobbies and what you do with me.” You mused as you glanced at him as he dug into his double chicken burger one-handed.

“I don’t know much about the others myself to be honest with you.” Johnny admitted as he stole one of your chips off your plate.

“Really?” You asked softly as you ate your own sandwich yourself, nodding along as he continued speaking.

“We try to keep our… ‘outside’ lives under wraps. Even being a team… what we talk about is always very superficial.” He trailed off.

“So you don’t know anything about the rest of them, nor them about you?” You cocked a brow in confusion.

“Oh, no, bonnie, I talk about myself a whole lot, I’m a blabber mouth, me.” He joked and winked at you. “But family is one of those topics that’s best kept under wraps in our line of work.” He told you as he leaned in, rubbing his thumb on the corner of your mouth to wipe it clean of peri-peri sauce. Then, he sucked his own thumb clean.

“What about me? Do I get to know about you?” You asked him playfully as you leaned forward, setting your elbow on the table as you lean in to him, eyebrows raised in intrigue.

“Tell ye what, bonnie.” Johnny leaned toward you too, licking his fingers clean and then wiping them on a napkin before he set a hand on your thigh under the table. “Anything I tell ye about my family is not going to do them justice… So how about I take ye up to meet my family over the summer… And ye meet them directly? Could even take the Captain, Simon and Kyle with us.” He offered.

Your eyes widened a bit and you blinked away the surprise, staring at him like he had grown a second head.

“Meeting your family? Really? Isn’t it a bit early for that…?” You chuckled a bit sheepishly.

“Aye, maybe it is…” He trailed off. “But at this point, I’m basically livin’ wit ye and ye’ve looked after me in sickness, haven’t ye?” He joked. “And I’ve fended off yer ex… so I’ve looked after ye in health, haven’t I?”

Rolling your eyes in amusement, you shook your head. You knew he was just joking, the look in his eyes showed it… “Are you implying that we’re married, Johnny?” You teased him playfully.

“I’m just saying…” He trailed off playfully, a playful smirk on his lips. “And, if we were married, not saying that we are,… I’d make sure to take ye home tonight and rearrange yer guts if ye let me, mo leannan.”

Looking away and biting your lip, you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Shut it…” You trailed off. “You need to rest, your shoulder’s bad still.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t use my mouth on ye… and that you can’t be on top.” He added before he grabbed another one of your chips and popped it in his mouth.

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#ikea writes 💚#it's a match! fic #cod modern warfare #cod fanfic #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #text story #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #141 x reader

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pinejayy · 19 days

Text

➤ My Fire Flame~ || Portgas D. Ace x Reader!

summary: reader feels insecure about their body and their part in the crew. so they want to leave the crew but ace won’t allow them, and he’ll show them how much he appreciates them and their body.

request by: @sky-skys-world

warnings: smut!! afab reader!! some swearing, fingering, oral (reader receiving) , unprotected sex.

a/n: oof sorry if this took longer than expected but I hope you enjoy!! // please let me know if there’s any mistakes.

✦•·················• 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃!! •·················•✦

You watched everyone laughing from a distance, the crew decided to throw a huge party after a successful raid against an other pirate crew, the crew were drinking and eating their hearts away. While you were sulking in a corner watching everyone getting drunk and giggling at each other. As you watched the party some of your crew members tried inviting you to the party but you would smile and refuse kindly. Not noticing the cold eyes towards you, foot steps started to reach your way until someone certain was standing in front of you.

“Hey Kiddo. Why aren’t you with the rest of the crew? Don’t feel like drinking?”

Jumping slightly at the sudden voice and you sigh and look up and see Ace. “Oh hey Ace.” You simply say, avoiding his question. He took a seat next to you and hums softly. “I don’t know. I’m just feel under the weather that’s all no need to worry.”

“Y/N.. Come on join the party, grab a drink with me and let loose. After all you are part of this crew right.” He said and looks over you, giving you an innocent smile. Looking at him, letting out a deep sigh and shake your head.

“That’s okay, sorry I just don’t feel good…monthly problems.” Lying as you spoke and Ace just sighed. “Well I can’t argue with that. Come on allow me to walk you to your room.” He said and stood up but you quickly shook your head.

“Oh no no. It’s okay! No need to walk me!” You say and quickly stand up and shake your head. And try to walk off before he could speak but he didn’t allow you to leave quite yet.

Ace raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “Aw come on kiddo, I’ve walked you back to your room before.” Grabbing your arm and he started to walk towards your room and away from the party and music. Struggling against his grip, he couldn’t see your room…no.

Your room was basically empty…it was filled with duffle bags of your belongs and clothes. You were planning on leaving this crew and hide away from everyone. Honestly these thoughts about your place in the crew have been on your mind for weeks now. And you’ve been looking for the perfect example to run off. And tonight was prefect considering everyone was gonna be wasted but Ace was in the way.

As he walked you towards your room…well more like drag you there you keep struggling against him. “Ace…look I can walk myself.”

“You seem nervous why is that?” He teased softly and before you knew it you guys were in front of your room.

“Oh thanks! Now if you will excuse me now! Look at the time! It’s late!” You say nervously, and rip away from his grip and try to make your way into the room but he quickly blocked your way. “Wait Y/N..”

“Goodnight Ace..” You say softly, and by some miracle you squeeze your way between him and open your door and before you could close it, he blocks it with his foot. Making you groan. “What?”

“Hey hey. What’s your problem? You usually let me tuck you into bed. Not tonight??” He said, and you look down. “It’s nothing Ace, just not feeling good.” You say, trying to close the door on him but he wouldn’t allow it.

“Y/N. I’m serious. You’ve been acting weird lately.” He said making you stop in your tracks and Ace took the opportunity to push himself in, gasping at the sudden action. You began waving your hands in front of his face.

“You’re leaving the crew?” He asked softly, looking down at you. You couldn’t bring yourself to face him. And all you could do was nod. “Does Whitebread know?!”

“No! Of course he doesn’t…”

Ace looks at you and slowly he closes the door and with a quick motion. “So you’re just gonna leave us?! Without telling us? Or anyone?!” He raised his voice at you, and he couldn’t help but feel betrayed and angry towards you. “You were going to leave me…without telling me.”

“Ace…it’s not like that.”

“YES IT IS! WHY WOULD YOU WANNA LEAVE?” He suddenly yelled at you. Making you flinch at his sudden outburst.

“Ace please calm down.”

“WHY?!” He yelled once again before taking a deep breath and looks at you. “Please tell me…why. I thought you loved this crew…” He looked visibly upset, and you could have sworn you heard his voice crack as he spoke to you.

“I do love this crew! I just can’t..”

“Can’t what?” He said and he started to walk towards you. “Tell me! I deserve to know! Please Y/N.” He said and tears started to form in the corner of his eyes.

“I’M JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THIS CREW!” You suddenly snap at him. “Sorry I didn’t mean to tell you at Ace.”

“What do you mean you’re not good enough?! You’re more than good enough! You’re prefect…”

“I’m the weakest of the whole crew…I have the lowest bounty…I don’t deserve to be apart of the crew..” You say and we’re on the edge of breaking down in front of him and he just stood there.

“Y/N…stop with this bullshit. Everyone has their part in this crew. And that includes you. You’re not weak, you hear me.”

“Please stop lying to me…look at me.” You said and point at your body. “I’m not like everyone else in this crew….I’m more squishy….and I’m not like the other people…”

That was the final straw for him, he couldn’t just stand there as you talked down to yourself and he grabbed your chin and made you look directly at him. “Nonsense! You’re prefect! Your smile is prefect…your eyes are as beautiful as the ocean. And you’re definitely not weak Y/N.”

“But I am…Ace.” You say and try to move away from him but his grip from your chin wasn’t letting go. “Ace…please…why do you care so much about me…I’m no one special.”

“THATS ENOUGH!” He yelled and sighed and lets go of your face. Running his hand over his face, before taking a deep breath. “That’s enough Y/N.. I won’t stand here allowing you to talk so badly about yourself and I definitely won’t allow you to leave this crew. You’re too important for the crew…” He said, he couldn’t help but look away from your eyes. “You’re too important to me…I can’t allow you to leave…I just can’t.”

“Important? How am I so important to you?”

“God…I was going to tell you this sooner but I guess now it’s the perfect time to tell you how I really feel about you….” He said and you were about to speak up and he held a finger to keep you quiet. “The first time I’ve ever laid eyes on you it was like my chest was burning. It was like love at first sight…I love everything about your. Your smile, your laugh and I especially love how devoted you are to help this crew out..god you have no idea how much I love you Y/N. I love you so fucking much! I think about you when I sleep!” He said and took a step closer to you, closing the gap between the both of you. Placing a hand on your check, wiping the few tears you had. “I love you so much…please don’t leave me.”

You were shocked at his words, he loves you? “Ace? Is this true…you love me?”

He nodded. “I do…you can’t leave. You’re too precious. You’re too important.” He pleaded and grabs your hand and squeezes it slightly. “You’re perfect Y/N. You mean a lot to me.”

“But….”

Ace places a finger over your lips. “But nothing..you’re prefect in every way.” Turning red from his words you were star struck. And he spoke up once again. “Please allow me to show you how beautiful you.”

“I…uh…how?”

“Please just give me permission…please say yes…you have to say yes.”

Not being able to speak all you could was nod. And immediately leans in and places a gentle kiss against your lips. Wrapping his arms around your waist, bringing your body against his. You didn’t kiss back right away since you were shocked. You couldn’t believe that Ace confessed his love for you. Honestly you’ve always had a crush on Ace but were too scared to tell him anything. Now look at you. He literally has his body pressed against yours while your lips are locked.

As time passes up you gave into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and returning the kiss. He couldn’t help but groan against your lips. Ace wasted no time to deepen the kiss, licking your lip asking for permission to which you gladly granted and opened your mouth. And he wasted no time, sliding his tongue into his new territory and he used his tongue to explore your mouth.

Moaning softly into the kiss, god you didn’t know this man could kiss like there was no tomorrow. Ace couldn’t help but brush his tongue against yours. Both tongue’s fighting over dominance.

Before things could get more heated he pulled away from the kiss. Leaving a string of saliva between your guys lips. “Please Y/N. May I have permission….may I have the honor of showing you how much I love you.”

“Oh…Ace..” You say softly and looking into his beautiful eyes and all you could was nod. And he smiled and in a quick motion he picked up and walks towards your head and placed you gently on the bed.

As he laid you on the bed his lips slowly made their way to your neck. Planting soft and gentle kisses against the skin of your neck. “You’re so beautiful…very beautiful.” He mumbled. Dragging his tongue along your neck. Making your shiver and moan softly. And he drags his hands over your body. Feeling every curve and every part.

And as he dragged his hands along your body, his hand made their way to your bottoms. “Do I have permission?” He asked softly. Still planting kissing along your neck. Trying to find your sweet spot.

“Yes..” You moan softly, and as you lay there enjoying the attention your neck was getting. You suddenly gasp as he kissed a certain spot on your neck making him smirk along your skin. “Ah found it.” He mumbled and focused on that spot. Sucking onto the skin slightly, he couldn’t help but nibble onto the skin slightly. He began to tug onto your shirt slightly and you just nodded and he licks his lips and moved away slightly and helped you remove your shirt and threw it across the room. And he also removed his cowboy hat and threw it to the side. And he went back to kissing and biting your neck.

As you were busy moaning underneath him, his hands slowly started to undo your bottoms and his kisses got lower as well. Slowly his kisses trailed down to your shoulder, then to your collar bone and on your chest. “This…this is in the way.” He said softly. And started to tug on your bra. “May I?”

You were a bit hesitant but you nodded. He dragged his fingers along your body and chest. And slowly he undid your bra and removed it and threw it to the side. And he looks back to you and your face was burning red and you hand your hands over your chest. “Don’t be shy. And don’t cover your beautiful body from me.”

He leans in again and kisses your stomach. And he grabbed your hands and slowly removed them away from your chest. And you didn’t put much of fight. And once your chest was exposed he lets out a long whistle. “Wow you’re even more beautiful than I imagined.”

Leaning in once again, he placed gentle kisses along your chest. And soon after he took in one of your nipples into his mouth and sucked on them slightly. Making you arch your back in pleasure. “Wow. Youre already shaking with this? Just wait until I’m done with you .”

And as Ace keeps toying with your sensitive nipples with his tongue he slowly started to undo your bottoms and tug them down slightly and you took notice in his and help him out. He removed your bottoms along with your underwear. Now completely naked…you couldn’t help but blush. And he pulled away to take in your beauty. “So beautiful…so fucking beautiful.”

He made sure you were comfortable before he could do anything else. He leans in again and places his lips against yours. His hand traced along your lips giving a slight pinch making you gasp out and little by little is fingers went lower and lower until they reached your wet core. You were lost into the heated kiss that you didn’t notice that his fingers were almost touching your wet heat.

He slowly spreads your legs with his hands and gently traces a finger along your clit making you gasp out and whimper. Pulling away from the kiss. “Ace..”

“Hm yes?” He said, looking down at you. Slowly rubbing your clit. “Yes my fire flame?”

You groan as you heard his voice, it was filled with lust. “I give you permission…”

That’s all Ace needed, and he couldn’t help but smirk to himself. He was definitely going to keep you up all night. Rubbing small circles on your clit, making you moan underneath him. And without wasting time he slowly moved his hand away from your clit making you growl softly and before you could say anything he inserted one finger inside your needy hole.

He slowly started to move it in and out of you making your moans get louder. And you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed that you were going to cover your mouth to muffle out your moans but Ace took notice on this and grabbed your hand before you could silence your pretty little moans. “Aw come on baby. Don’t do that I want to hear your sweet little moans.” He said and let’s go of your arm.

“But…ahh mmm… what if someone sees us.” You say between your moans, making him laugh slightly.

“Don’t worry about it…” He began saying and slowly he inserts an other finger inside of you. Moving both fingers upwards making you throw your head back in pleasure.

“Everyone is drinking remember. Everyone is getting drunk…and while everyone is getting drunk on booze. I’m gonna get pussy drunk.” He chuckled. Making you whimper and moan at his words.

Ace felt your walls tighten around his fingers and he quickly removed them before you could reach your climax.

“Ace!!” You whine out. “I was so close.”

“Oh I know.” He said and removed his fingers and he couldn’t help but bring his fingers to his mouth and suck on them. Moaning softly at the taste of your juices that coated his fingers.

Not going to lie as you watched this you couldn’t help but feel more turned on. And soon after Ace pulled his fingers out of his mouth. Moaning at the taste.

“God you’re gonna get me drunk Y/N.” He groans and before you could say anything. He was already between your thighs. Spreading them even more. And this man wasted no time to tease you…well at least not for today. He needed to taste you…more directly.

Before you could react or say anything he already had his tongue between your folds, dragging his tongue along your folds and moaning at your taste.

You couldn’t help but drag your fingers in his hair, pulling on it slightly. “Ace…” You moan loudly, throwing your head back.

“So good…good..” He moans softly, mumbling between your heat.

How tongue made its way to your clit and he focused on it. Toying with it with his tongue. And soon after your toes curled in pleasure. You never knew you could feel this good.

Your moans got louder and you felt your stomach began to tighten making you whimper. And with a few more licks to your clit. You couldn’t help but moan loudly. “Ahh A-ACE…” Before reaching the best orgasm in your life.

Ace gave you a few more licks before pulling away. And he stood on his knees and slowly he started to undo his pants. And he watched you, and you were a panting and shaking mess.

“Ahh look at you. All this just with my fingers and tongue beautiful? God wait until I fuck you with my cock.” He teased and slowly he started to undo his pants and he was painfully slowly.

God…this was going to be a long and pleasant night for you~

After awhile he finally removed his pants and he cock sprung up. And it stood up with all its glory. And he was big. You weren’t sure if it was gonna fit…

But this made you blush and you sit up and you wanted to return the favor so you wrap your hand around his cock and slowly moved it making him groan. He grabs your hand and moving it away.

“Tonight is about you my love.” He said and pins you against your back. “But maybe for some other day. I just need to make you feel special. And to officially make you mine.”

As your back was against the bed, he positioned himself between your legs. And with the tip of his cock he started to tease you slightly. And slowly he placed the tip of his cock in your entrance. And slowly he started to sink himself into you and into your warmth. Making him groan under his breath.

“Just let me now.. when this becomes to much for you.” He said softly, and started to make his way in fully. Making you moan and tear up slightly. Stretching you up.

Yup…he was big. It was painful. And he took notice and he was about to pull away but you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“Just give me some time…please. I need this..”

Ace just nodded and stayed still, until you nodded after awhile. “Okay I’m ready.”

And he wasted no time, he began to move in and out of you slowly. Not wanting to hurt you. “Are you okay my fire flame?”

You just nodded and bite your lip. “Yes…”

“Good…good fire flame.” He said and leans in and catches your lips with his. And his pace was gentle and slow. Both tongues meeting each other once again. And you couldn’t help but moan into the kiss. “More…Ace please.”

And this man wasted no time to do so. Grabbing your hips and holding them in place and he took a moment to stop and you nodded once again and he started to pick up the pace of his movements.

He pulled away from the kiss, and both of you guys were panting heavily.

Your sweet moans were getting to Ace and he couldn’t help but slam his hips against yours causing you to scream out in pleasure. “Ace…baby! Please..I’m close.”

He groans and keeps his pace going. He felt your walls tighten around him. Ace grip around your hip tighten. “Yeah I know baby…”

You were so lost in your pleasure that one of your hands made their way to your clit and you rubbed it slowly so you could reach your climax faster.

“Now…please Y/N…cum with me.” He pleaded. And you couldn’t help but whimper at that.

And soon after both of you guys reach your guys climax and you couldn’t help but tug into his slightly. Panting slightly, Ace chuckled at your cute reaction. Before giving a few more thrusts he pulled out making both of your groan out. And he watched as his seed dripped out of your hole.

You were a shaking mess. And Ace couldn’t get enough of it.

He laid besides you and wrapped his arms around you, bringing you close to him. Inhaling your sweet scent.

“That was amazing, Ace..” You breathe out, and snuggle against him.

“I love you Y/N…”

You stayed quite as your heard his words. Before speaking up again. “I love you too Ace.”

“Please don’t leave the crew. You’re too important to this crew and to me.” He pleaded and snuggled against you. Burying his face into your neck. “Please.”

Making you sigh out and you wrap your arms around him. “I promise I won’t leave you Ace.”

And you guys lay there, enjoying each other’s company . “But for now let’s get some rest my fire flame. I need rest for tomorrow.”

“How come?”

“Well besides fucking you again.” He said, making you blush and hide your face into his neck. Making him laugh slightly before he spoke up again.

“I need to confront a pirate by the name of Blackbread.”

#x reader #one piece #op #anime #ace #portgas d ace #ace x reader #portgas ace x reader #smut

117 notes · View notes

moni-logues · 8 months

Text

Kintsugi 9

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, non-idol!au, angst, smut, eventual fluff

Summary: In a fit of spiteful, post-break-up self-improvement, you sign up to a baking class. Yoongi, in a bid to appease his demanding girlfriend, signs up, too. Determined to make him your friend, you end up with more than you ever imagined.

Word count: 6.2k

Content: MORE Yoongi POV!, um, honestly there's really not anything to warn for in this chapter, I don't think; Yoongi is not having a fun time

A/N: thank you to @quarter-life-crisis2 and @minttangerines for beta-ing this for me!!! Also, I know I have said before that this story is outlined for 10 chapters but it's going to be more like 12, so we're not THAT close to the end yet!!

Chapter Eight | Masterlist | Chapter Ten

Chapter Nine – Crush

Yoongi stopped outside your building but you didn’t immediately move to get out of his car. You looked at him and had no name for what you felt, muddled as it was. You didn’t know what to say.

“Thank you for driving me back,” is where you began.

Yoongi grunted.

“I was driving anyway.”

“Are you ok?”

He turned towards you and most of his face was in shadow, a lance of light cutting sharply across his face, missing his eyes entirely.

“I’ll text you tomorrow.”

You knew what that meant and you didn’t want to push for him to say anything more, not yet. You nodded, opened the passenger door, turned to climb out, and reached out to give his hand one last squeeze. You hadn’t been expecting him to hold on, so when he didn’t let you go, you fell backwards into your seat with a muffled ‘oof’, loud enough though to cover whatever quiet words he uttered.

“What?”

“Thanks for coming.”

His voice was the smallest you’d ever heard it.

“I’ll always be here for you,” you told him, meaning it, hoping he believed it.

He let your hand go and didn’t stop you this time when you climbed out of his car and shut the door. You wanted to watch him drive away but you knew he wouldn’t leave until you were safely inside, so you waved and walked into your building.

Yoongi slipped off his shoes and called out for Cherry, but he needn’t have bothered as she was already hurtling towards him, screaming what he assumed was invective for having left her for so long. He picked her up and carried her to the sofa and he had to remind himself to be careful, to not squeeze her too hard. At least someone was happy to see him.

He lay, his body feeling thick and heavy, and stared up at the ceiling. The apartment was dark—he hadn’t turned the lights on—and where he had been hoping it would feel like home, that he would feel relieved and comforted to be back in his own space, he felt empty.

That raw, clawed-out feeling burnt in him. The emptiness rang out in the cold, dead space of the room. He felt skinned alive. Everything he had not wanted to deal with, everything he had been putting off, everything was hiding from, everything that scared him most in the world had come home to roost. All at once. He used to think of you when he felt like this. You made him feel one ounce lighter, one shade brighter, a little less hollow. He would think of you and remember that you were there and remember the promise that you had made and he would go to sleep and wake up to another morning.

Now, he couldn’t even think of you. Because he couldn’t pretend anymore. Because you had come to Daegu and met his family and held his hand and nothing had ever made him feel more cared for. These feelings that he’d had, that had sparked in him the second you smiled at him and waved him over on that very first evening, that he held close to himself like a warding spell, were no longer under his control.

He had denied them at first, obviously. Strenuously. You were friendly; he wasn’t used to people being so friendly. You were generous and sweet and overly familiar and it took him off-guard, that was all. Then you gave him a brownie and his heartstrings snapped. He carried that brownie around with him until he had to throw it away, not because he didn’t want to eat it, but because he couldn’t bring himself to make it disappear. It showed him all the ways in which you and his ex-girlfriend were different: all of the ways in which you made him feel happier and lighter and like he was having fun, like he was a person who could have fun and all the ways in which she made him feel bad and irritable and lonely.

He tried to deny that, too, furious and sick with guilt at his disloyalty. His cowardly resolution was to not talk to you at all, made all the harder by the fact that he ended up at the station next to you and then harder still at the way you kept talking to him, the way you stopped talking to him when he didn’t utter a word in response.

He usually took a long way home, a detour; sometimes he stopped in at a friend’s for a drink or a snack or he wandered around a convenience store, putting off going home. He didn’t that night because he felt sick with himself, made livid by his own cowardice. So he had walked into his apartment and Cherry had been curled up on sofa, which was very unlike her, but Yoongi hadn’t had to wonder why for very long. His ex had never been quiet and neither, apparently, was the guy she was fucking in Yoongi’s bed.

He figured he deserved that, but it had also given him a really good excuse to break up with her, to kick her out, to stop feeling guilty when he had realised that he didn’t actually fucking like her at all. The relief he had felt when she left was physical. And fleeting, because then he had felt guilty about the way he had treated you.

He never intended for you to sleep together. There was no plan. No plan other than seeing if maybe he could be the person you made him feel like. Could he be fun? Could he be a person that someone like you would like? Could he be more like you? But then you had put on that fucking dress and all he’d wanted to do was take it off. You had put on that dress and he had accidentally told you that you looked sexy and you had looked surprised, delighted, so fucking cute and he had been way past most of his inhibitions by that point so he just... kissed you.

He knew it wasn’t the start of anything. He knew you were going to backtrack, brush him off, sweep it under the carpet. He knew and he forced himself not to mind because everything you had said was right; you had already told him enough about your relationship and break-up for him to know that you wouldn’t have wanted anything with him. And that was fine by him, for the most part. He was safe at this distance, nursing his delicate feelings in secret, unworried at the prospect of being found out or having to do anything about them.

Besides which, you loved him. You told him that. So quickly that he automatically didn’t believe you, couldn’t believe you, because love doesn’t just spring up like that, but you told him and you called him sweet names like you did Taehyung and you teased him and you showed up and you understood and even though he didn’t think it was possible, not really, he believed you when you said it. He was happy to have you in exactly this capacity because your generosity of spirit and your kindness and the brightness of your spark carried him through. Every time he thought to himself, sad and lonely and miserable, that no one like you would ever want someone like him, that you could never see him as a real man, as a true partner, as someone you might want to be with, he reminded himself that he had you as a friend. That had been enough.

But now, it wasn’t. Now, Yoongi couldn’t hide from himself anymore. He had, foolishly, when he had been wrung out and exhausted and it was almost five in the morning, told you that he wanted a hug and you had got on the first fucking bus to come and give it to him. It had broken him. It had broken him open and there were worms everywhere. It had been like trying to swim through mud; he was fucking drowning. Then he would see you—in the kitchen, preparing dinner; out in the garden with his nephew; looking tired and biting the inside of your lip like he knew you did when you felt self-conscious—and it was like a lungful of air. Like a lungful air getting punched out of him.

It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough anymore to be your friend, to be at a safe distance. He wanted the distance between you to be atom-thick. He wanted to take a hold of you and never let you go. He wanted to pour his entire wretched heart into your hands.

He knew he never could.

You had been clear. You were just friends. You were just friends and, besides, you weren’t seeing anyone right now; you were off romance, off relationships. Everything would have had to be different for him to stand a hope in hell of getting what he wanted. Though, in a warped kind of way, he didn’t really want to get what he wanted either. Because, as much as he wanted to be with you, he didn’t want you to be with him. You deserved more. You deserved better. You deserved the best. He was far from that.

You had said so yourself that people like you—people like the person you had been—people like Yoongi, they were burdens. You had said you were unlovable and you had said so many times that you and he were the same. He looked at how you saw yourself and he knew you saw him the same way. How you used to see yourself anyway. Because you were brighter now, lighter, genuinely happier and more confident. He didn’t know how it was possible because he had already thought you were the sun when you first met, but the brittleness of your spite had disappeared, the frequency with which you joked about dying had diminished, and there was something more peaceful about you now, the spikes of your anxiety more like ripples.

Yoongi wasn’t ripples. Yoongi wasn’t even spikes. He was a pit. An abyss. A blackhole. And the very last thing he wanted was to suck you into the middle of it. You deserved more than anything he could ever give you, so he could never tell you how he felt. And now that feeling hurt.

You sent a text to Taehyung as soon as you stepped inside your apartment.

[18:31] You: can you please come over so I can have my crisis now?

[18:34] Teddy 🐻: ofc sweet thing. I'll text you when I'm on my way xxx

The door beeped and you were just about to sit up from your slouched position on the sofa and exclaim about how glad you were that Taehyung was here, when you spotted Hyunjin just behind him and you stopped.

“Hey!”

You greeted them both but it came out a little more hesitant than you liked.

“Hey! Don’t worry, I’m not staying,” Hyunjin replied with a wide smile. “My friend lives around the corner so I’m going to hang out with him for a bit but I thought I’d come up to say hey, happy new year.”

He shrugged and your heart melted.

“Oh, bless you! Happy new year, babe! Got any resolutions?”

“I don’t know,” he answered lightly, casting his eyes about, nodding his head side to side. “Have more fun? Take more chances?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“What about y-”

“No, do not ask about mine. I cannot even fathom having a resolution about anything right now. Why do you think Teddy’s here? He has to tell me what to do with my life, as usual.”

As if on cue, Taehyung handed you a glass of wine from a bottle he had taken out of your fridge.

“I’ll leave you guys to it. Just wanted to say hey. So, hey.”

“Hey,” you repeated with a wave as he shut the door and left the two of you alone.

Taehyung sank into the sofa with a sigh that was unlike him and you eyed him suspiciously.

“What’s up with you?”

“We’re not here for me, babe; this is your crisis.”

“No, there’s something going on. You have energy.”

“It’s really nothing,” he insisted, taking a long gulp from his wine glass.

“Tell me or I won’t tell you anything. The entire fucking confection, Teddy.”

He looked at you, blinked slowly, and then put his wine glass back on the coffee table.

“Hyunjin is leaving.”

“What do you mean leaving?”

“Leaving Korea. He’s going to Paris.”

“What?!”

“Yeah... But it’s fine.”

“Fuck off is it fine! He can’t leave! He can’t leave you! Why? Why is he going?”

You felt betrayed on his behalf. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Taehyung and Hyunjin were perfect together, everyone knew. How could he just leave? You reached out to take his hand but he pulled it back.

“He got a graduate scholarship thing for the- I don’t know the name, it’s in fucking French, Beaux-Arts school or something.”

“Aren’t there arts schools in Seoul?” you demanded.

Taehyung smiled in appreciation of your outrage, but he shook his head.

“Not like this one. This is a huge opportunity for him; he couldn’t turn it down. I wouldn’t have let him even if he’d suggested it... And anyway, it’s not like we were serious; this was always a casual-”

“FUCK. OFF. You and your bullshit ‘casual thing’. He was your fucking Morticia, Teddy.”

“I’m serious,” he said, in the voice that brooked no nonsense. Then he sighed. “He’s been applying for this stuff since before we started seeing each other; this was always going to happen. That’s why we were trying to keep it casual. And I’m happy for him, genuinely. He deserves it. It’s an incredible opportunity and I’m glad that he’s got it...”

“Just also kind of fucking sucks, too.”

He began to nod but then it changed to a shake.

“No. No. No, I’m not doing all of that. He leaves in two weeks. In two weeks, I will be sad. In two weeks, you can have another family emergency and take care of me when I can’t get off the sofa and want to drown in vodka ice-cream floats. But I’m not sad yet, now, because he’s still here. So it’s fine.”

You looked at him carefully and he let you when you tried to take his hand again.

“Ok, but also, I am really fucking sorry and you have to promise you’ll tell me when you are sad. You carried me through a break-up and I want to do the same for you.”

“Oh, darling, I’ll be putting you through your paces, don’t you worry about that.”

He knocked his glass against yours, as if making a deal, and you forced him to let you give him a tight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. Then he shuffled to face you properly.

“Come on, then. That’s out of the way. You can have your crisis. Start from the beginning.”

That you could do. The start was easy.

“Ok, so I was with my parents over Christmas and we went to the supermarket...”

“I just don’t know what to do,” you said when you very quickly reached the point at which things stopped being easy and stopped making sense. “I don’t understand. I don’t know how I feel and I don’t know what to do with that. I have Feelings, Teddy, you know this. My feelings are always big and loud and strong and I know what they are—no matter how unreasonable or disproportionate or stupid, I know what my feelings are. Always. And now I just... don’t? And I don’t know how to find out. And I don’t know what to do or what to say or what anything means and it’s all so confusing and c-”

“Ok,” Taehyung held up a hand to stop you. “Can I tell you what I think?”

“That’s literally why you are here.”

“You have feelings for Yoongi.”

It made you squirm to hear him say it out loud like that. Something didn’t feel right about it. It made you feel uncomfortable, made you want to shrink away from him and cover yourself. There was a discomfiting churning in your guts that made your body feel weak. You shook your head.

“No.”

“Yes.”

You knew that you had started this, that this conversation was happening because you had said to him that you thought that maybe, actually, perhaps, you did have feelings for Yoongi but hearing him say it out loud, such a bald statement like that, made you recoil. You wanted to chop those feelings off at the root- pull them up from the roots before they could sprout. No, you couldn’t have feelings for Yoongi.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I said NO!”

You picked up a cushion and tried to hit him, not gently, in the face. He had his arms up in front of him before it could make contact and he merely took it from you and placed it on the floor next to him.

“And I said yes.”

“KIM TAEHYUNG!”

You picked up another cushion and he was so shocked that you called him by his actual name, his full name, that this one hit him square in the face. When the cushion fell, he looked at you, open-mouthed, genuinely surprised for a moment, before his face settled into exactly the sort of face a teacher might use on a child who was having a tantrum.

“Babygirl, I can see you’re getting angry,” he said, using the most patronising tone he could muster. He even reached out and took one of your hands in his. “And what do we know about anger, hm? It’s a secondary emotion, that’s right. So what do we do when we’re feeling angry?”

“I want you to get out of my house.”

“No, you don’t,” he said in retort, back to his normal voice. “You want me to say that you don’t have feelings for Yoongi and everything will go back to normal and you don’t have to worry about anything. But that’s not fucking true.”

You flopped backwards against the sofa and sighed, defeated, feeling an enormous wobble start in your chest. You did your best to beat it back but it still choked your voice when you next spoke.

“I don’t want to have feelings for him.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s Yoongi.”

“It is. Why are you saying that like it’s a bad thing?”

You didn’t want to say it all. You didn’t want this to become clear. You hated the confusion but this would be even worse. Because Yoongi was safe to you; he was your safe space, in a way that was different from Taehyung, and you’d done that. You’d had a safe space; you’d had a boyfriend who was your safe space and it had been your downfall. He had broken up with you for it. You couldn’t lose Yoongi. You couldn’t go through it again; you wouldn’t make it out the other side, you just knew.

“I love him,” you said quietly, tears brimming. “He’s my friend. It’s too much.”

Taehyung nodded and thought for a minute or two while you sat sniffling next to him.

“Yes,” he said eventually. “It’s scary... What about if we made it less scary?”

You looked at him doubtfully but this was where Taehyung shone: trying to convince you of his visions.

“Having big, new, romantic feelings is terrifying, but have you ever had a crush? That's fun, right? Like with me and Hyunjin, how I would go into the café and hope he was there and I’d see if he drew a little smiley face or flower on my cup and how I alwa-”

“I fucking told you you were dotty about him from the start! Playing it cool, my fucking arse.”

“Yes, yes, fine, I admit it. But it was fun. You remember having a crush, a harmless, cute, little crush that never has to go anywhere-”

“Like you and Hyunjin, you mean?”

He rolled his eyes.

“Ok, fine, that wasn’t a good example, but you know what I’m talking about. That guy who always gets the same train as you, or who lives in your building, who you see from time to time and you get to just go mad fantasising about him and what he’s like and what your relationship would be like and all that. That’s fun, right?”

Yes, you could remember those feelings. The bubbliness, the fizzing, the curling in your toes and sparkling in your eyes. You didn’t see how that could possibly apply to your situation though.

“What I’m saying is,” he continued, reading your mind, “can you... lean into this? Lean into your feelings and just... have a crush on him?”

You looked at him in disbelief.

“You’re fighting your feelings right now, right? You’re so confused and upset because, as you literally just said, you don’t want to have feelings for him. You’re trying to deny it. I’m saying... don’t. Give in to it. Just to see. Try the feelings on. Maybe they’re not comfortable and you don’t like them and you do want to be just friends with Yoongi. But maybe they are comfortable and you will have clarity on what you want because you’ll have let yourself feel things.”

“You know I’m not going to pay you for this therapy session.”

You were pouting, sulking. You didn’t want him to be right—you never wanted him to be right about your life, even though he always was and you were always grateful to him for it in the end. You just didn’t like this part, where he was able to poke around your insides and see you better than you saw yourself.

He grinned.

“I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, love. You said it yourself: your feelings are bloody loud. You know what you’re feeling and your feelings are arguing with each other.”

You sighed dramatically with a heave of your chest.

“I don’t know how to have a crush on Yoongi.”

“That’s why you try.”

“What if I do it and I really do have feelings?”

“That’s when you tell him.”

You grimaced at the thought, squashing yourself against the sofa and away from Taehyung. You could never. But you would try this crush thing; it gave you some direction, some way to channel your feelings. You would do it in the hopes that it didn’t work. You hoped whatever you were feeling now would go away. You and Yoongi were just friends. That was the whole point. That was it. Nothing more. You would prove it.

Your fortnightly dinners were reinstated and the following Friday was your first opportunity to test this out. A crush, you reminded yourself. A cute, innocent crush. You pretended to yourself that your nerves were excitement, that the anxiety was anticipation. That the sweat in your palms and snakes in your gut and the buzzing sound at the back of your mind—all good things.

It got off to a bad start because Yoongi looked so worn and tired when you saw him. All your nerves were replaced with worry and a sinking in your stomach and a rift opening up in your heart. He insisted he was fine; it was weird adjusting to being back; he was still processing Daegu. He was fine, he said. He was fine. He promised you. And then you could see him making the effort to be a little brighter, to smile a little wider than he wanted to. You loved him, you reminded yourself; he was your Yoongi, your person, your friend.

“I may have to cancel our next dinner, just so you know,” you told him as you picked up a slice of the pizza he had ordered (which is how you knew he was not fine, not really). “Hyunjin is leaving Korea and I don’t know how Teddy will deal so I want to make sure I’m available.”

“Oh, he’s leaving? Where to?”

“He’s going to fucking Paris to become Monet or some shit.”

You weren’t angry with him, not really, but you were angry with the situation and it was such a clean feeling, amongst the mud of all your others, that you indulged in it.

“That’s a real shame.-”

“Yeah, and you never even so much as got to kiss him.”

His mouth twitched up.

“Truly the greatest tragedy of my life.”

“You’ll live.”

“Yes, but is a life in which you’ve never kissed Hyunjin really a life worth living?”

“Guess we’ll just have to find out.”

You felt him relax as the night wore on; he was a little less brittle, a little softer, and you hoped he was feeling better. He had spent weeks living with people--his family—and then come back to an empty apartment to live alone; that would’ve been a tricky adjustment at any time, but especially when his grandfather had just died, and especially because it was him and you knew how he felt about his family, his home, himself.

His sharp edges worn a little smoother, though, meant that your worry eased and, without even trying to, you were looking at him differently. Noticing things you maybe hadn’t before. His hair was thick and dark and longer than you had ever seen it; it suited him. It looked good when he pushed his hand through it and it immediately fell back in strands over his face. You hoped it wouldn’t annoy him into cutting it off.

“Your hair looks nice,” you said, without thinking, regretting it immediately when he looked at you, a surprised ‘o’ on his pouty mouth, his eyes wide and disbelieving.

“Thanks?”

You felt embarrassment creep up your neck and you didn’t know what to do. You suddenly couldn’t remember what you would usually do or say. You chuckled and bit the inside of your lip, hoping he wouldn’t notice. You wanted to reach out and trail your fingers through it, just a little, a gesture more than a touch but you didn’t know if that was something you would do, as just a friend. Your mind had gone blank. Would that be weird?

“Yeah,” you said, somewhat pointlessly, to break the silence more than anything else. “It’s um, it’s long. You’ve grown it long.”

He shrugged.

“I haven’t really grown it; I just haven’t cut it. My mum said I should. She wanted me to cut it for the funeral actually but I didn’t have time.”

“No, you look good with longer hair. Really good.”

That was too much, wasn’t it? All your jitters had returned but it was almost worth it with the way his ears went pink at the tips and his mouth pulled into a pursed, shy pout.

“I’ll tell her,” he said, a half smirk on his face, making eye contact with you for only milliseconds at a time.

You were exhausted by the time his apartment door was shutting behind you and, when you got home, you did something you almost never do: you wrote in a journal. It was something your therapist had you do in the immediate aftermath of San breaking up with you, when your feelings were so strong and so many that you couldn’t get your mouth around them, couldn’t parse them because of the way they howled around you in a screaming gale. This wasn’t that, but you had now spent a fortnight with everything buzzing incessantly in your head and Taehyung might have helped (or might not have—jury was still out) but you had to try to find some kind of clarity, to at least purge these feelings so they existed somewhere other than your brain.

You repeated this over the coming days, scribbling furiously whenever your mind turned to Yoongi (which it did, all too often) and you were relieved when you had to cancel your next dinner together (Hyunjin had left and Taehyung was calling you from his sofa). Relieved because all your writing made the crush thing easy; it was easy in your imagination but you didn’t know how you could do it in real life, faced with the real him.

You found out a couple of weeks later. You weren’t nervous this time because you felt inured to it by now. You had exorcised your anxiety and you thought you had exorcised the crush, too—you had thought of little else and the familiarity of those feelings was starting to reassure you. All the things you were feeling were things you had felt all along; you had always known he was handsome, and cute, and funny; you already knew he was kind and sensitive and generous. None of this was news to you so you didn’t need to fear romantic feelings or test a crush anymore. He was the same Yoongi he’d always been.

Then you opened the door to him with half his hair tied in a bun on top of his head and, when you meant to say hello, what came out was,

“U-h, um.”

“Hello?”

He looked at you, theatrically quizzical, and walked past you into your apartment. He placed a box on the counter—dessert—and was peering into the pan on your stove when he noticed you were still staring.

“What?”

You merely gestured to your head and swallowed. He mirrored your gesture and looked hesitant.

“It stops it getting in my face,” he said, unsurely, as if you had been asking for an explanation.

You could see his cheeks turning pink and he was reaching backwards, as if to take out the hair tie holding it there.

“No, no!” you exclaimed. “It looks good. Uh...” You cleared your throat. “Really good.”

You felt a little breathless, your chest a little tight, your stomach fluttering.

It turned out that, all this time, as you had been writing down, with such confidence, all the things you liked about Yoongi, all his good qualities, all the things that anyone with a crush on him would believe, thinking that it was catharsis, that you were expelling these feelings, you had really been confirming them. You saw his smooth, shiny skin and his dark, narrow eyes, crinkling at the corners when he smiled, when he laughed, when he opened his mouth wide and showed his tiny teeth and it made your heart flutter; you saw his hands, deftly untying the ribbon he had put on the dessert box and it made your own fingers twitch with how much you wanted to touch him; your mouth was dry looking at his pink lips, the strong arch of his cupid’s bow—every time you remembered the name, you remembered Hallowe’en and how much fun you had had, how easily Yoongi had slipped in, and it made you feel warm in a way that also made you wobble. It made you feel soft and scared and like this wasn’t just a crush.

You shook your head to dispel the thought and set about serving up dinner. You ate it, as you always had, at your little makeshift table, and you talked and you tried to concentrate on the things he was saying, but he was so close to you, always so close to you in the confines of your miniscule apartment, that you found it difficult not to let your mind wander. You could barely remember what it was like to kiss him—that night was still a blur��and it made it all the more tantalising. This knowledge that you had, somewhere in the recesses of your mind, you imagined it coming back the second you kissed him again; you would remember it from that night but it would also feel like you had kissed him a thousand times already, like your mouths knew each other in lifetimes before, like somewhere your souls had previously met and you had been doing this all along.

“So?” Yoongi asked, nudging you with his foot and bringing you back into the room.

“Huh, what? Yes.”

He grinned, knowing he had caught you not listening.

“My birthday party; will you come?”

“What?! Oh my god, it’s your birthday?! Of course! Happy- wait, when is it?”

His eyes were crinkling again and your heart was skipping beats.

“9th March, a few weeks. Party is on the 10th.”

“Obviously, I would love to come. What do you want?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean as a present. What do you want for your birthday?”

He shook his head.

“Nothing.”

“Yoongi, I have to get you something.”

“No, you don’t. I don’t want anything. Just come.”

You rolled your eyes. You decided not to fight with him because you needed to preserve your energy for worrying about what to get him.

Usually, you had dinner and dessert and sometimes an extra drink or two and that was it, but you didn’t want this night to end. You hadn’t been spending time together outside of these dinners and you wanted to maximise this time; you didn’t want him to leave. Not yet.

“Want to watch a film or something?” you asked as you stood from your stool and piled dishes in the sink.

“Oh, uh, ok, sure.”

“You pick; the remote’s on the table, I think. I’ll wash up while you choose.”

“I can wash up.”

He was moving next to you, reaching for the bowls in your hand.

“Fuck off, babe. I’m doing them. You go and sit down.”

You fixed him with a determined glare and he backed down.

“What sort of films do you like?”

“I’m best friends with Teddy; I promise you, I can sit through anything. Put on whatever you like.”

“Tazza?”

“Yeah, sure, what’s that?”

When there was only silence in response, you turned around from the sink to see him looking at you in shocked incomprehension.

“What do you mean, ‘what is that’? Have you not seen Tazza?”

“Haven’t heard of it.”

“How is that even possible? Come here right now, we’re going to watch it.”

“Give me a minute!”

You pushed your luck, pushed your nerves to the limit. You curled yourself into Yoongi, telling yourself that you would happily sit like this with Taehyung so why should Yoongi be any different? You were the only one who knew it was different; there was plausible deniability all over this thing! You stretched your legs out over his lap and, eventually, he rested a hand on your knee; it was heavy and warm and distracting. You shuffled down and rested your head on his shoulder; you hoped he might shift and put his arm around you, or if not around you, at least over the back of the sofa so you could snuggle down further, smell the detergent on his shirt, maybe feel the hair at the nape of his neck. He didn’t. You tried not to be disappointed.

You also tried to follow the film, you really did, but when Yoongi’s other hand came to rest next to his other, just a little higher on your leg, over your thigh, you found yourself incapable of paying attention to anything else. You wanted to take his hand, hold it, lace your fingers with his. You wanted to trace the vein on his hand all the way up his arm, wondering if it was true what the Greeks said and it really did go all the way to his heart. You didn’t do that. You just kept staring at it, imagining that you could.

You tipped your head up to look at him, the profile of his face; a loose strand—freed from its elasticated prison—fell over his eye and you couldn’t resist the urge to try to tuck it gently behind his ear. It immediately fell forward again when he turned to look at you. The swoop in your stomach almost made you gasp and you flicked your eyes back to the TV screen, feeling the heat in your cheeks and the stutter in your heart.

When the film ended, you wanted to think of something else to get him to stay longer but it was already late and he was already stifling his yawns. So you let him get up, you forced him to take back some of the yakgwa he made (he may have missed that class but he certainly made up for it; they were better than any you had ever attempted), and you closed the door behind him with a sigh.

You reminded yourself that this was a crush. It was a fun, harmless, innocent, little crush. That was all. Nothing to get carried away with. Nothing to be scared of. Just a crush. A crush.

But it was also Yoongi and your heart was starting to ache. tags: @chimmisbae, @idkjustlovingbts @miriamxsworld, @quarter-life-crisis2, @tarahardcore, @simp47koreancrackheads, @xyahrinx, @olyd, @diorh0seokie, @thelilbutifulthings

Chapter Eight | Masterlist | Chapter Ten

#yoongi x reader #yoongi fic #bts x reader #bts fic #yoongi angst

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aragonlediagon · 10 months

Text

sillies

Hi my ff6 team again. This took way longer than expected oof

I wonder if anyone can find the little secret I put in it hehe :)

#final fantasy #ff6 #final fantasy 6 #ffvi #final fantasy vi #terra branford #setzer gabbiani #edgar roni figaro #sabin rene figaro #my art

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smolweeblets · 11 months

Text

Sleepytime

Junker queen x reader

Loud, passive-aggressive sighs were heard as your girlfriend tried to not-so-subtly hint at you to pay attention to her. After getting tired of doing that for almost 5 minutes, she finally gave in and said something.

“Oi! Get over here already! Been fighting the sleep demons for like 10 minutes.” She calls out for you.

A yawn escapes her as she impatiently waits for you to come to bed. The frown on her face only grew deeper the longer she watched you work.

It took a few seconds for you respond, too absorbed in your work to answer immediately. Absorbed enough in your work in fact, to not notice the large ominous figure that materialized behind you.

“I said just a sec, im not done with this and- Ahh!” Before you could even finish your sentence, you were slung over her shoulders and being carried back to bed.

Sleep was overtaking her brain, and so she wanted nothing more than to get some shut-eye, but she’ll be damned if it was not while cuddling with you. The only other solution was to wait for you to finish whatever it was that you were doing on your laptop. But in her own words. “The sleep demons are draggin’ me down, i can feel myself slippin’

“Heyy! Odessa let me go!” You giggle as you playfully beat at her back.

“No. Its sleepytime.” She grunted out while still frowning, shes not very happy at the fact that you made her have to get up the bed.

“But I have things to do!” You whined as Odessa stood still by the foot of your bed. She was trying to figure out how to put you down for the least chance of escape.

“And I have sleep to catch, so do you. So we should sleep. Together.”

You were dropped on the bed, and she went on top of you, trapping you in her arms.

“Oof–” Some of the air was knocked out of your lungs at the sudden impact, but you find it was incredibly hard for you to struggle when Odessas arms felt this warm and secure.

“But I was almost done–” You whine.

She shuffles a bit so she could comfortably lay beside you while still having a secure hold on your body. She lay on her stomach while her arm was positioned firmly around your waist.

“Then do it tomorrow.” She managed to grunt out. She yawned again. Her eyes were already closed, and slowly it was getting harder and harder for her to talk.

You pouted and let out a small huff.

“Fine. But dont expect a morning kiss from me then.” You crossed your arms and turned your head away from her for emphasis. You peeked back at her only to see her face fully buried in the pillows.

“Mnggghh” Was all she could muster to grumble while she snuggled closer to you. Not understanding a word you said.

“Ugh. Fine, im going to sleep, but dont think your cute face will help you every time you do this.” You scoffed while smiling. You huffed as you pulled the covers over the both of you.

~~~

Lets be honest here, you still gave her that kiss the next morning. And if you didnt, she made you give it to her anyways.

A/n: Hi guys please accept this very short fic for a new fandom i wrote at 1am because i feel bad for leaving you guys for so long but i swear its the last week of our school please be very patient with me until then i love u guys mwah

#junker queen #queen of junkertown #junker queen x reader #odessa stone #odessa stone x reader #overwatch

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dokifluffs · 6 months

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Burnout | Sugawara Koushi

Pairing: Suga X Reader (gender neutral)

Genre: angsty fluff, college!AU

"x-whyareyoureadingthis-x asked: Mini Request for college!Sugawara: sitting at your desk at home, studying, and just having a small breakdown, like there's so much work and mid-terms are in full swing and you don't know how to keep up and all that. And Suga just comes from the side, gently taking your head and pulling it against his chest, letting you cry a little. I'm sorry, but this scenario has been stuck in my head for a month now. If you don't feel like writing it don't worry. But I had to tell someone about this 😅"

Author's Note: i took this mini request and made it into a full one so :) I can't resist making this but I know it'll end up too long as a "crumb" anyways T^T but more for you all to be fed hehe also I relate to this feeling so much oof

college

it was the next few years of your life that you always heard would be the "best ones ever" yet here you were

your first ever fall semester and you were miserable

The courses you signed up for were ones you were genuinely interested in based off of what you heard and read about the professor

but now sitting through them, with all their workloads piling up toward the climax of the semester

you sat under your kotatsu and wondered

why were you putting yourself through this?

Were you the only one feeling like this?

Everyone you saw when you looked around anywhere on campus looked like they were handling it well and they were just meeting the expectations of what it meant to be a college student

to become an adult

and here you sat

staring off past your no longer lit computer screen as the leaves fell from your childhood home's backyard

a cool breeze blowing in, through your hair and caressing your cheek but your legs stayed warm under the kotatsu

so why was it just you who couldn't handle it?

you snapped out of your daze, glancing around at all your sprawled-out notes

all the reminders you set around your room of the work you needed to do by when

the reticulate time schedule you created would put you as ahead as you could in terms of work with just maybe a bit of free

only if you were lucky or if your professors had mercy on you and canceled some readings or discussions

your chest felt heavy

your body felt heavy just sitting there on the familiar matted floor of your living room

it was all just so much

everything was just so much

all the material you had to retain

the assignments

the readings

the papers you had to type

and now that things were different from high school

now that things were much more real than in high school, everything was longer

the research you had to do

the articles you had to read

the textbooks you had to read

the prices of everything - tuition, fees, it was all so much

as another cold breeze blew by, your cheek felt even colder

you felt a wet drop on the back of your hand

when did you start crying?

Everything was so manageable in high school

when did high school graduation feel so far away when it was only before this past summer, just a couple of months ago?

when did everything start to feel so heavy?

you took a deep breath, trying not to blink or else you knew your tears would fall

but the tears were blurring your vision

until you saw one sticky note you made weeks ago

it was the schedule of your midterms, three of which were on one day and then the last two were on separate days

you made a list of all the material you had to review

you stared at the note, holding the dulled color little sheet in your fingertips, staring at your own handwriting

when did you start cracking?

A cold gust blew in, forcing the door to open wider

"Y/N~ I brought steamed buns.."

"Koushi.." you broke

his voice died off seeing you in your room, papers floating and being pushed all over the floor around you

you looked like a mess

the bags under your eyes were a lot more present since the last time he saw you just a week ago

the room filled with your stifled sobs as you covered your eyes with the palms of your hands

you could feel how damp they had become

but then you felt the warmth

you moved your hands, your vision blurring but you could feel Koushi

His body was pressed against yours, arms pushing your body into his

as if he was the glue and knew you were falling into pieces

as if he was welding your pieces back together

"I'm here," he spoke, squeezing you a little tighter, his voice saddened seeing you like this

he had a subtle inkling of what was happening to you, seeing the signs but whenever he asked, you would tell him it was just some fatigue a good night's rest couldn't fix

how much he wished he followed his gut

and look at you now

"let it out, Y/N," he caressed your head, brushing his fingers through your hair, holding you close ever so gently

like you were the most precious thing in the world

and to him, you were

you sobbed profusely in his arms

trying your best to tell him everything between gasps and breaths

he nodded, listening, sharing his advice with you

encouraging you

letting you know that he would always be there with you through thick and thin

"You've worked so hard, but you need to rest too," he held your hands, giving them a little squeeze as he looked deep into your eyes

Every time you did try to relax, you felt restless, guilty, like there was more you could've been doing

"you shouldn't feel guilty for taking care of yourself and your health!" he proclaimed

"Now eat a pork bun!" he scrambled, reaching for one from the bag he brought, and stuffing it into your mouth while he scooped up your papers into a neat pile

then finally scooping you into his lap as he pet your head

"we're going to rest today," he smiled at you, pressing a kiss to your temple as you took a bite

"and feed me too," he widened his mouth, waiting to take a bite of the bun

~~~~~ Thanks for reading! Masterlist for more! Please do not repost anywhere else!

#dokifluffs #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #suga #sugawara #sugawara imagines #sugawara headcanons #sugawara x reader #suga koushi #suga x reader #suga imagines #suga scenarios #suga headcanons

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mimi-cee-genshin · 1 year

Text

Denial is Futile: Wanderer x f!reader - Chapter 4

Read on AO3 | Series Masterlist | Taglist

« Chapter 1 | < Chapter 3

Summary:

What would you do if you were stuck with Wanderer indefinitely?

The cute and sweet guy from the bazaar was brought to your place while unconscious. But when he woke up, you were appalled by the amount of snark he had. Was he even the same person? And now you were stuck with him because he could literally die if he stopped holding your hand. You weren't sure if you could tolerate him any longer. Little did you know he was exactly the type of person you needed in your life.

Other info: Fluff, humor, sfw, enemies to lovers, some hurt/comfort and angst later, character growth, occurs after the version 3.3 Archon quest and Tighnari's story quest, female reader

Word count: 2.7k

*****

The roar of the waterfall grew louder as Wanderer dragged you by the hand along the bank of the ravine. You passed yet another sumeru rose before you tugged your arm back and planted your feet in the ground.

"You have no idea where you're going, do you?" you asked him.

Wanderer turned his head to look back at you, the tassels on his hat swayed. "Do you always jump to conclusions like this?" He pulled at your arm, urging you to keep walking. "Also, didn't someone mention Collei was returning soon? Maybe you should use your head and buy her a gift."

You raised your brow. Did he know her? And he suggested being nice to her?

The cliffs towered over you and the bridge to the city hung overhead. "There aren't any sunsettias here, you idiot." You pointed up the cliff. "There were plenty up there along the trail."

Wanderer blinked a couple times, staring blankly at you. He turned his head away, his hat facing you once more. "Whatever,” he said, playing off his mistake. “I was actually going to the Grand Bazaar."

"And how exactly did you expect us to climb like this?" you said, holding up your joined hands.

"So you know how to climb, huh?” A smirk grew on his face. “Well, don’t let me stop you. Just do what you normally do."

You narrowed your eyes at him, skeptical at the intentions behind his words. You shook off that feeling and instead analyzed the cliffside, planning the best route to make it to the top. With a sigh, you placed Wanderer's hand on your back before placing your grip on the rock above you.

"You'd better not weigh me down," you told him, carefully placing a foot on the ledge.

"Don't worry," he said with a chuckle. "I won't."

You planted your other foot on the bottom of the cliff. "If you fall unconscious because you let go, I won't pick you up," you nagged him.

"Just go already."

With a huff, you began to scale up the cliff. Why were you even doing this? If he just took the trail, getting to the city would've been so much easier. But taking the long way around now would be more troublesome than climbing.

You grabbed onto another ledge and lifted yourself up. You continued to scale up the cliff but it was strange. You felt lighter than usual.

"Why did you stop?" Wanderer asked. "Or are you planning on staying here the whole day?"

"You know, sometimes I wish I could just tape your mouth shut–"

Your foot slipped.

A hand grabbed your forearm. A rock disappeared into the base of the cliff below. Your breath was stuck in your throat as you dangled mid-air beside the roaring waterfall.

That could’ve been bad.

You lifted your head and saw Wanderer hovering in the air. "You can fly?!" you exclaimed.

He shrugged.

"Did you enjoy watching me struggle?" you said, rolling your eyes.

"I don't take pleasure in other people's misery," he told you, but his smirk said otherwise.

"Just hurry and bring me up already –oof"

He slung you over like a sack of flour and launched into the air.

"AHHHHHHH!"

"Quit flailing around," he said. "I'm not even going very fast."

The sight of the potential drop below you wasn't exactly pleasant. You couldn't bear to watch anymore.

"If you keep this up I'm going to throw up on your back!" you yelled at him. Your hair dangled in the air as blood rushed to your brain.

His movements slowed to a stop and the rim of his hat hit your back. He lifted you up by the back of your shirt before placing you down.

"We're here," he dryly reported.

You shuffled your foot around on the solid ground under you and peeled your hands off your eyes.

You glared at him from the corner of your eye. "Why didn't you just fly up in the first place, huh?"

"Ha. You actually enjoyed that?" he said. "Could've fooled me."

"No, not that! If I knew you could fly, I wouldn't have bothered to try climbing up the cliffside."

"Do I look like I wanted to carry you?" he replied. "It's already enough that I'm stuck with you every single minute."

Why did you even bother trying to have a conversation with him? If only you weren't his portable battery pack.

"Oh!” A gentle and familiar voice came from behind. “It's Hat Guy and–" A stack of boxes crashed into each other and fell to the ground.

Jars of cosmetics laid beside one box and bright coloured clothing had come out of another. You quickly attempted to help but you forgot you were attached to a ball and chain. You looked at Wanderer, urging him to move, and when he did, he was as slow as a dead beetle. By the time you reached her, everything was already put away. Would it kill him to help out?

Nilou closed off the boxes and brushed the dust off of her skirt. She was happy to see you again but something else had caught her eyes: the pair of linked hands that would’ve been better off separated.

She narrowed her eyes as if she were attempting to interpret a script in a language she didn't know. "Oh!” she concluded. “Congratulations, you two!"

"Excuse me?" Wanderer said, raising a brow.

"I didn't even know you two knew each other," explained Nilou. "But now that I see the two of you together, I couldn't be happier for you."

You choked on air and began to cough. "Just hold on there a minute, Nilou. Don’t tell me you think we’re a couple," you told her.

"Huh?" she said. "So then why are you two…?" Her gaze fell back on your hands.

“Ugh, it’s… kind of complicated,” you told her, rubbing your temple. “Maybe it’d be easier if I just showed you what would happen.”

"Don't you dare let go,” Wanderer snapped at you.

"It would be funny after that stunt you pulled."

"Ha. Seems like it doesn't take much to provoke a reaction from you."

"Why you–"

"Umm… Y/n? Hat Guy?" Nilou said. You both turned to her and before you knew it, you each got a new bracelet on your wrists.

"These are a gift from me," she said. "For helping us during our last performance."

Huh?

You hadn't done much to help the theater the last time they held a performance. You had only directed them to the correct ingredients that would make their flowers last longer. But what did Wanderer ever do for them?

"There's no need to thank me," said Wanderer. "I was simply returning the favour." The softness in his tone brought back the memory of sunsettias in crates next to the large and now familiar blue hat.

"This is the least I could do," Nilou replied. "None of the others were available to help me at the time. Your needlework was perfect!"

What?

Wanderer sighed, "Alright, if you insist."

His lifted his hand to adjust the bracelet and the vision on his shoulder caught your eye. You had initially assumed his personality change was caused by his vision, but perhaps you were wrong.

"Umm… I'm still curious though," said Nilou, turning to you. "Why are you two holding hands in the first place?"

"Well…" you replied. "He goes unconscious every time we let go of each other."

"What?" Nilou exclaimed. "That's horrible!"

"Yeah," said Wanderer. "Being stuck with her isn't exactly the most pleasant thing in all of Teyvat."

"Wait!" Nilou said with a panicked expression at you. "That's not what I meant!"

"I know," you told her. "He's the one who twisted your words."

"There was no lie in my words."

"Anyway," you returned to the topic, "We're trying to find a solution to this. We don't know why I'm the only one who can help him."

"Hmm... I see," said Nilou. "So you two are stuck together until you find out why this is happening."

Her gaze shifted between the two of you before her eyes suddenly perked up.

"Hat Guy, you're also from Inazuma, are you not?" she asked.

"You are?" you asked, a bead of sweat formed on your neck.

"Why?" said Wanderer. "What of it?"

"N-nothing," you replied. "I just didn't expect it, that's all."

Wanderer turned back to Nilou. "I haven't been a residence of Inazuma for a long time," he said.

"I see," she said. "But perhaps you two have a connection somewhere there."

"Hmm… you're right," he said. "Perhaps this is a lead we could look into."

*****

"Huh? Where are we?" you asked.

"Just sit down," he replied while seated on the couch. "Did you think we were going to Inazuma?"

"No." You rolled your eyes. "I just thought–"

"Wanderer? Y/n?" Nahida asked, carrying a teapot and cup on a tray. "What are you doing here?"

"And here I thought you'd be happy to finally have a guest," he replied. If people weren't so hung up about Nahida being their Archon, this room would have frequent visitors. Not that he'd care. Being around many humans wasn't his style.

"I need you to show her my memories," he told her.

"Your memories?" you raised a brow.

"Ah. Interesting," Nahida said, putting down the tray on the coffee table in front of him. "But are you sure about sharing them with her?"

"It's fine," he replied. "It's not like she's the first to see them."

"Hmm… And you think this will help with your investigation?"

"That's right."

"Okay then," she said. "I assume you'd want to skip through your memories fairly quickly." Nahida took a glance at you. "And a less immersive method would be a good idea as well."

She pulled out a small white rectangular object from her pocket that was slightly larger than her hand. She pressed a button and a light emitted from it. "Here is some new technology I have. I think you'll find it useful."

Nahida pointed the light towards the empty wall in front of the two of you and placed the object on the table. She then took out that green, semi-transparent cube that held a copy of his memories. Holding it above the projector, she let it dissipate into the air and onto it.

"Here," Nahida said, handing a controller to Wanderer. "You can use this interface to rewind and fast forward through your memories."

"Is this really necessary?" you asked him. "I don't exactly care about your life story."

"You just need to tell me if anything look familiar," he explained. "Simple?"

"Yeah, yeah," you said, brushing him off.

"Based on how you're acting, it sounds like you want to be stuck with me forever."

You promptly straightened your back. "Alright. What do you need me to do?"

Wanderer rolled his eyes and took the controller from Nahida. If only you were this cooperative every time.

His first few memories were portrayed on the wall, when he woke up at Shakkei Pavilion.

"We can skip this part," Wanderer said.

"What?" you exclaimed. "Didn't you just say that I should check if I recognize anything?"

"It's not important, alright?" He fast-forwarded through more memories. Images of Katsuragi and of the rest of the guys from Tatarasuna flashed on the wall.

"How am I supposed to find any leads when you keep skipping everything?" you asked.

"What did you expect?" he said. "Were you really thinking of going through hundreds of years of memories?" He didn't want to live through them all again.

"You're that old?"

He rolled his eyes.

"With how immature you are, I thought you were younger than me," you added.

"Just pay attention, alright?" he replied. He sighed, thinking he should've had a better plan before starting this with you. "Where did you live in Inazuma anyway?"

You gave no answer.

"Well?" he said.

"W-Watatsumi Island."

That was barely considered a part of Inazuma at one point in history. He didn't even go there very often. Maybe this lead was a dead end.

"Why are your memories even stored here?" you asked. Strange. You changed the topic.

"You don't need to know," he said.

"Actually…" Nahida interjected.

"Are you really going to explain to her?" he asked.

"I think it would be good if she got a better understanding of you."

Wanderer slumped into the couch. "Whatever. Do what you want, but I don't need any sympathy."

He held down the fast forward button as Nahida recounted what happened at Irminsul and why she created the back up. "... So because of that, he tried to delete himself to change the past," she explained.

"Why are you even bothering to mention this to her?" Wanderer said. "It's of little use."

"You never know," she replied.

You became awfully quiet after what Nahida said. Yet, when he saw the light in your eyes, his stomach churned and dropped inside him.

"Don't get your hopes up," he told you. "It didn't change anything."

Your eyes widened in surprise, surprised he caught your thoughts, as if you had revealed something that he shouldn't have seen. It didn't matter to him. There was never a person who didn't have any regrets, recalling how he felt when he stood in front of Irminsul.

Wanderer continued going through his memories and skipped his Snezhnaya chapter altogether, searching for the part just before Scaramouche went after the Raiden Gokaden. Perhaps you were associated with the clans somehow. He unfortunately killed all of them, so he doubted you were related to any of them. Still, it was possible that you might have some other connection to them.

He paused the memory to show a clear view of their faces and the surrounding lands. "Do you recognize anything?"

"How old do you think I am?" you retorted, noting that the event occurred decades before you were born. "I don't know any of them."

"That's not what I meant," he grumbled. "Is there anything about them or items that they're wearing that you recognize?"

"No. I don't."

"Alright then," he said with a shrug. His finger held down the controller and began to skip past this memory. Watching him slaughter them was unnecessary. But a thud from behind caused him to flinch and jerk back his hand, letting go of the controller. A hand grabbed at someone's throat.

"Sorry," said Nahida. "I was just trying to get…"

You gripped his hand slightly and your eyes were fixed on the wall, not once lifting them from it as the scene continued in front of you. One after another, the Scaramouche of the past had killed each person in front of him.

Nahida glanced up and reached for the controls in a panic. Wanderer stopped her.

These memories... He had engrained them in his head to remember the weight of his sins. He wanted to see why you were watching them so intently.

Your empty look remained, almost as if you were in a trance. More blades confronted Scaramouche, but they were of no use. The slaughter continued and you were watching every moment of it.

With the flick of your wrist, you carefully took the controls from him. "Hmm... I was right," you muttered to yourself. "I don't recognize any of them."

Wanderer glanced at Nahida, but she had no answers either. It was as if something had switched inside you, as if you were pretending what had just unfolded never happened. He thought that maybe the Archon who visited dreams knew what you were thinking, but they were both in the dark.

"Also," you continued, "I don't see anything of significance on their clothing–"

Your hand dropped.

Your body leaned to the right and began to slump off of your chair.

Wanderer yanked your arm back, pulling you to his side so you wouldn't fall to the floor. He held your lifeless body in his arms, dumbstruck about what to do as Nahida rushed out the door to get help.

As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, you can fill out this Google form or just let me know in a reply or ask.

*****

Chapter 5 >

Let me know what you think of this fic so far. I can't promise to post frequent updates, but I'll do what I can. Thanks to everyone that's been leaving comments. I probably would have dropped this story by now if people weren't interested in it.

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gnashingwailing · 1 month

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@fireflywritesgt ok i read your tag on ch21 and i took that as a personal challenge (and then while I was writing this you dropped ch22 and THEN 23 and murdered me. but i'm back now. so)

HELLO Ok fuck yeah hold on everybody take my hand. We’re theorizing about this chapter 🙏 spoilers thru ch23 below

Re: the tag: dare I hope the next story will be set in a similar time/place… i MUST ADMIT despite the significant broader cultural stigma of such a thing. I have often contemplated. Harry and Joe helping with providing socialized miniature healthcare 😭 (maybe to wherever Lorraine lives[?] or knows of?) and when I heard mention of a Tiny Town Hospital… one must wonder how this compares to a Giant Hospital, or to the barber surgeon dens that Joe has presumably had some frostbitten toes cut off at.

OTHER THINGS I’M SPECULATING ABOUT: “certainly, bandits were a problem a borrower occasionally had to face” 🤔 damn that's rough. I do love the sense that there are few overarching cultural norms, whether it's around marriage or language or so on. Everybody is kinda doing their own thing (including robbing each other oof).

I am also VEEEERRY curious about the implications of WHATEVER the tinies that are working in Tiny Town are doing. What kind of mechanized thing could be profitable from a lot of little guys pressing buttons? Or is it maybe not something physical they’re producing? Is it instead a research project? Some attempt at “civilizing” the tiny society for giant colonialism reasons? There’s got to be some kind of output here that is valuable to some kind of giant, but I’m still mystified at what it will be. “Joe wanted to ask him about the four armed giants who stood outside of Tiny Town” YEAH MAN ME TOO‼️ <- secretly delighted this is still coming up because I want to know what it means QUITE BADLY

Joe lamenting that there don't seem to be any libraries, or restaurants, or speakeasies, or any mark of ... art or entertainment? In Tiny Town? I REALLY HOPE Joe and Harry get over themselves and kiss soon so they can TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKING WEIRD THIS PLACE IS???? It made me INSAAANE THAT JOE JUST BRUSHED OFF TALKING ABOUT IT AT ALL 😭 JOE TO HAVE THOSE THINGS. PEOPLE HAVE TO WORK AT THEM. ARE ALL THE PEOPLE IN TINY TOWN JUST WORKING ON PUSHING BUTTONS??? JOE PLS

“Expecting handouts from the bloody giants…” sooo fascinating to hear him voice this, since this whole project is a handout in the absolute best case scenario (given that scraps are worthless to giants), although likely closer to a prison, as Professor Hill called it. Still patiently waiting for his smart and cool wife to explain things to me <3

I hope Joe will deign to really talk about what happened to him… GURL go process it with ur beautiful best friend!! Let him hold you and comfort you and tell you you’re literally so smart and correct and everything you’re saying about ditching the buttons part entirely is literally so beautiful and true!!! Go rock his world with your insights king!!!

Also lmfao Joe is definitely not Irish bcuz his Irish Goodbyes need some SERIOUS work. King of just literally running off when he’s not feeling a conversation anymore.

Me 🤝Joe <- autistically just leaving

He does this so often and it makes me cackle every time. Wait hold on those great meme posts make me want to make a JUST WALK OUT! One.

Absolutely loving the tension of it all… the reveal that Joe was doing watchmaking when he was TWELVE, meaning (if I'm keeping track of time correctly) he got snatched right after he was ABANDONED BY HIS ONLY FAMILY IN THE WORLD, was so artfully done. I had to stop in my tracks and think at the “he’d known O’Grady longer in his life than he hadn’t” and do math and be like “oh fuck.” Maybe this was teased prior and I didn’t pick up on it, but it hit HARD. For some reason I hadn’t assumed he was a kid — but why wouldn’t he be? If little kids are already doing things like crawling into discarded beer bottles. Fuck, Warren, heartbreaking stuff. Bravo. Of course Joe would be as dedicated to going and seeing him as he was Harry in the hospital. He cares so deeply about everyone, but especially his friends. It’s too bad O’Grady is no longer in a place to reciprocate the love Joe gives !!! But of course Joe still would not be ready to throw away the boot knife O’Grady made for him… “a decision that would forever change Joe’s life” btw I can hear ur evil hehe from here. :)

Also btw THIS little detail is one of those things that makes rereading your story so delightful: “They invade our end of the city, take our jobs, show up at our bar… did we invite them? No.” O’Grady was practically ranting. “And when we politely tell them to leave, what do they do?” O’Grady pointed to his bandaged head. “Watch out for them once you get here. They’re not good Irishmen like you and me, Joe.” juxtaposed with the actual breaking news we heard from the radio ? "“AN IRISHMAN AND AN ITALIAN ARE IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER A MASS BRAWL OUTSIDE A BAR ENDED IN A CRACKED SKULL AND A STABBING. NEITHER OF ‘EM HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED YET.”" a fucking STABBING = "politely tell them to leave"? What kinds of things has Joe's friend gotten used to excusing?

And of course I love the moments of solidarity within the tragedy of the newly realized (or at least newly stoked) xenophobia between borrowers. Joe being reminded of how his parents spoke, and how his brother shooed him off, in the gestures of a stranger… you really do a great job of evoking the ways we are all connected to each other. His family is gone, but he still sees them everywhere he looks. [pacing my enclosure and being sooo normal about how Joe has purposefully isolated for a decade and yet cannot help but see the beauty and humanity of his fellow man whether tiny or giant bcuz despite thinking he’s wired wrong, he’s actually wired like all of us who have felt that way for our unusual proclivities. He’s wired for connection with his fellow man. And he’s so wired for it u can feel how much it hurts his heart. Haha I’m sooooo .] The older guy was trying to warn him off crossing a white line into the “Irish ward”, too, right? The gesture was a kindness. And speaking of, does that mean the little tunnel somebody dug is to the Irish district? Or was I turned around and it was the Italian one? Either way — who would be trying to get in here, and why? Maybe it’s just a desperate person, but O’Grady talking about how bad it’d be if they saw Joe, and the need for an ID, makes me think it’s not someplace you can sneak into and integrate with. Just makes me curious as to whether it’ll come up again!!

THIS is also something I'm wondering about -- could the 'output' of Tiny Town maybe be researching, like... ethnonationalism? In the wake of WWI? Those drawn lines separating different 'wards'... do we think Tinies came up with this shit on their own? I doubt it, if someone like Dawson who is immediately assigning people nationalities that we know from Calloway's nobody "normal" in borrower society knows/cares about. HMMMmmmmMMMMM. I'm still reaaaaally curious how much Hill knows about this place and what hand, if any, he had in it. ONCE AGAIN, boys get kissing so you can also get TALKING. I think Harry would have much to say about how pointless it is to hate individuals from other nationalities after everything he saw during the war. Or so I assume, given he had no bad reaction to Joe being Italian.

AND WELL THIS IS LESS THEORYCRAFTING AND MORE “ME WANTING TO WRITE MORE FANFIC ABOUT THEM” BUT I WAS SOOO DELIGHTED THE CHAPTER DIDN’T END WITH HIM LEAVING TINY TOWN AND WE INSTEAD GOT DRESS REHEARSAL 2 OF HARRY AND JOE GETTING SO FUCKING DOWN BAD FOR EACH OTHER AT THE WINDOW & IN THE BEDROOM. YIPPEEEEE <- this was written before ch22 lol pictures taken moments before disaster

“Joe fidgeted for a moment as he fought with himself over whether or not to say what he really wanted to say.” … did you say what you really wanted to, there, pal? 🤨

I'm sooooo glad Joe's books are making more and more appearances... much like Harry I'm endlessly delighted by his culture. I wanna know what shaped his romantic fantasies!!

""Yeah, the ending on this one isn't great. They're cowards. Could've at least said they loved each other." Joe said.

He closed the book and snuggled into the crook of Harry's neck." <- Lmao @ these two guys so allergic to talking about their feelings shit-talking the romance book protagonists while they're literally cuddling in bed and not acknowledging it

Did he own these books when he was a kid? I imagine so, but on the other hand? HEY HOLY SHIT I REALIZED AFTER CH23 SOMETHING I SUSPECTED BUT COULDN'T CONFIRM: if homophobia isn't something borrowers have. Is one of these romance novels Joe owns going to be between two men? Harry is going to get his fuckin world rocked. Him and Georgie stole books from the library before, but I doubt they found any gay romance stuff (still impossible for baby-gay-Gnash to find that almost 100 years later in their rural libraries, lol.) Would this be Harry's first exposure to something like that? Wahhh... hurry up and open up to each other again you need to talk culture ASAP...

I'm also very curious if borrowers would have more taboo novels of their own, particularly giant/tiny stuff. And would Joe have come across any of it? I imagine it'd be extremely difficult to sell things like that without a beating, but maybe in bigger night markets -- and Joe said he's been in lots of very big cities... if his third novel is some really salacious g/t writing that would do numbers here on tumblr dot com I'm going to lose my god damn mind.

#once again. it would be a war crime to try putting this in your inbox. also other people seemed to enjoy it last time.#take my hand fellow TAoLaW enthusiasts. let's make incorrect guesses about where things are heading... together <3 #thanks for the wonderful fic Warren!! it's taking over my brain!!!

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