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#one of the first times i actually talk abt my characters publicly
pagodazz · 2 months
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Dudeee i fr didnt know people publicly like wrote nsfw shit on like tiktok comments about the cast of emh and im so glad I never saw that like i only ever saw stuff like “I can fix him” “writing abt him in my diary and kicking my feet” 😭 like the wildest thing I saw was probably like. Edits w mildly sexual audios!!!
I think most ppl posting these comments and commenting r like kids?? But Jesus it’s so insane it’s so easy for younger ppl to pull ts bc today u have suchhhh an easy access online :// like idc if u write/read fanfics but I gotta say when ppl start writing abt like rape n shit it makes me queasy so I can’t imagine the actors learning abt that, hope ur doing well tho!! Thank you for bringing awareness to this!!! I think people always go too far w actors like fine write fan fictions of the character but actors is wild
Ranted so much I’m so sorry omg I’m so sorry no one I talk to know my niche interests 💔💔
IM DOING WELL I hope u are too!!!
and I'm honestly very happy that so many people are seeing my post about this situation, because it's just starting to get worse especially since some of these edits are getting 20k+ likes from people who DO NOT KNOW THE MEDIA AS WELL... it's so aughh,,,
The actor of Vinnie was just so upset when the fics w rape started to be written, since he was VERY active in the fandom, I mean he even used to answer DMS and shit for questions but. do you see him anymore 😭😭😭 no bc... he had minors being predatory towards him?? it's so. wild.
I try to post about this topic again and again and this is the FIRST time one of my posts has actually gotten alot of attention, I think it might be do to the fact I felt just so frustrated when I wrote it. I had delt with seeing multiple TikToks in a row with sexual audios and videos talking about how big a characters ass his and how they wanna have sex with them and it's just. AUGH. like 😭😭😭⁉️⁉️⁉️ keep that to ur DMS.
and don't be sorry about ranting !!!!!!! I don't mind being a space to dump some thoughts sometimes!!!! if you ever have emh questions or wanna share some of ur thoughts my asks are open!!!! I'll always try my best to answer them,,, it may take me awhile since I've got alot going on in this head of mine, but!!!!!!! I love hearing people talk about things they enjoy!!!
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sapphire-weapon · 11 months
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what are your thoughts on the horniness and thirst around leon since the remake came out? and all of the content that comes with it (reader inserts, actual animated p0rn etc)? i saw some teens complaining that it was weird and 'ruining the fandom' - but i didn't really think anything of it since, yk, fandoms are gonna fandom, it is what it is (and it's leon so, it's not surprising).
i remember you mentioning that back in 2005, it was very hard for RE fans to talk abt leon outside of his relationship to ada, so i was also wondering how the fandom dealt with general leon-induced horniness back in the day
oh, this might be my favorite ask I've gotten in a while.
/gleefully rubs hands together
First off, teenagers need to shut the fuck up about the fandom. There used to be a time when you'd go into the Resident Evil tag here on Tumblr and you'd get a bunch of weird model viewer porn of Chris banging Dante or someshit. Early RE fandom was filled with a bunch of zombie-on-Jill (and later, Claire) porn. Sometimes it was even zombie dog porn. I don't wanna hear shit about anything porn-related from some fuckin kids who don't know just how depraved this fandom has been. This fandom was built on fucked up porn.
So, in a similar vein, that Leon thirst has always been there. Always, always, always. Do you think that Leon almost overthrew Chris as the face of Resident Evil because fans just... "liked his character"? NO. IT'S BECAUSE WE WANTED TO FUCK HIM. We wanted him in every hole, in every position, and we didn't care what we had to do to get Capcom to give him to us. The only reason why Chris was never dethroned was because the gays circled the wagons around him with RE5's release.
However.
Reader fics and self-inserts are a very new and recent phenomenon in fandom spaces. Even as recently as the mid-2010s, this was something unheard of. Fandom OCs were not okay. If you had a fandom OC, or if the fandom even suspected that you were self-inserting in any way, you got publicly shamed and sometimes even exiled from fandom spaces.
But there was one big, hypocritical problem with that mindset.
If you can't already see where this is going, let me help.
This is the reason why Aeon vs Cleon got as toxic and volatile as it was, back in the day.
Oh, yes. Fans would pick which of the two women they identified with more, and that ship became their vehicle for Leon smut. So, now, it wasn't just a ship. Now, it was personal -- because fans were using Ada or Claire to self-insert in a socially acceptable way. So, if someone rejected Cleon, and you were Team Cleon, chances are, you took that as someone saying "You're not good enough for Leon. You don't deserve him." -- even if you didn't consciously realize that that's what you were doing or how you were perceiving things.
Back in the days of LiveJournal, you found so many fics of just blatant OOC shit, because it wasn't really about Claire or Ada as characters. It never really was. Ada and Claire were just a means to the end goal that was Leon's cock.
So, if nothing else, modern-day fandom is a lot more honest.
Personally? I'll never be interested in reader fics because of how taboo it was for literally my entire life -- I will always see it as cringe, and I will always question that person's grasp on the line between fiction and reality, even though I know consciously that that's not fair for me to do, and that author isn't doing anything that I wasn't thinking about at their age. But prejudices gonna prejudice.
But I'm fucking stoked that I can talk openly about Leon's cock these days, and I don't have to filter it through some fucking ship that I don't care about. I can just sit here and say to you guys -- hey. I think Leon's into edging, and he secretly wants someone to make him beg, but he's too much of a control freak to allow it, so he just makes his partner beg instead. And no one fucking gives a shit!
It's so freeing. I'm so happy.
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hechiima · 1 year
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What I love about Miles' outburst on Adrian, is that Phoenix afterwards points out that it's not like him at all, like it's not his usual rudeness at court. And Miles using the exact same phrasing with her, abt choosing death, which is also uhh, points out to their similarities
Thank you for answering!
I also wanted to ask you what you think about Phoenix's life before the events of the game? I mean even before Dahlia, how lonely he should've been to always care abt and then chase after this one guy who stood up for him in 4th grade? Where his first motivation (to save Miles) coming from, I think this question is a bit unexplored in the fandom, besides the idea that Phoenix is just that altruistic and kind person. I mean he is kind, but there's gotta be roots in his childhood maybe
Oooh good point; I hadn't thought about that! Lmao Miles "I faked my death and came back After Winning Mental Health Because I Attended A Single Therapy Session" just saying the most unhinged things sir please. Also, you're right that it does feel a lot more personal than most of his other outbursts b/c of the language mirroring his own note...ough man is not okay during that whole trial huh...
Haha I think Phoenix's life before the games was completely unremarkable? I'm p sure the creators at some point said something to that effect and tbh I think it's the best interpretation for him. Because it would make more sense if he had some sort of trauma/big event but nope he's just Like That. Man is just Deranged and it's so funny honestly love that for him.
Also I love the idea of him being A Normal Guy through childhood - law school. He had a decent social circle and keeps moderately in touch with his friends after graduation through text/group chats. His law school/college group chats aren't really active but the people in it will text each other once every few months or whenever something big happens to someone. It's low-key and normal and all his friends are like yeah Phoenix. He's just a Nice Guy.
Then ofc one day he's all over the news for fucking CX'ing a bird in court and publicly exposing one of the top prosecutors in the district. All his friends are stunned. They start following his legal career and they're all slowly coming to the same conclusion that Phoenix was Actually That Crazy the entire time. And the worst part about all of this is, looking back, they're also realizing that there were definitely hints. For example, in law school he was a p mediocre student except when he Aggressively Wasn't and would just seemingly wander off and book a class. Or in college there was that time he got REALLY into that girl and then disappeared for a weekish and never mentioned her again. (His college friends thought it was a rocky break up. They are now realizing it was b/c he was on trial for murder what the fuck Phoenix.) Or in high school he got weirdly into Legally Blonde but everyone just thought he was being a theater kid and was excited that the musical had come out. But Phoenix always seemed like such a normal guy that none of his friends thought that deeply about it and now they are and well fuck.
So they DM him in their group chats and his response is completely normal too. Phoenix sees nothing weird about what he's been doing oh and how are the children Susie? He's perfectly friendly, just like they remember, and seems to think nothing of how off the rails his legal career's gone. That's when everyone finally acknowledges he is really the craziest person they know (and maybe make a separate GC to discuss What The Fuck Is Phoenix Doing Now).
Hope that made sense! I do like thinking about how "normal" Phoenix was for years - it makes the unhinged shit he does later so much funnier and I think really fits with his character? And thanks for all the asks (also sorry it takes me so long to get to these; I've just been kinda busy)!! Lmao love any opportunity to talk about how Unwell Phoenix actually is. <3
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goddslayerr · 10 months
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SHIPPING INFO //
ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSE(S) SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.
WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?
tbh most of the ships are from...silly lil discord rps and from jokes my friend and i run along with LOL i dont really have any otps w ashton atm aside from the familial bond they have w their captain (my fav cousins ever <3). their relationship is vvvv important to me
HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?
i dont ship w underaged characters. ashton is 21 and pretty much flirts with anyone so long as they're an adult. but i wouldn't actively ship them romantically w other people's muses if they're over the age of 30
HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?
haha now i don't write nsfw on here (at least publicly) bc i find it very embarrassing but when characters start undressing that's where i do jumpcuts and won't write any further
ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?
ehhh i wouldn't exactly say "selective" but i do prefer if we've interacted a few times! there's gotta be chemistry going on first and foremost
WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?
like. p much all the characters i ship them w are from non-rp stuff over on discord (they've got like... what, 17 husbands, i think?) but i don't like talking abt that here since it's completely unrelated to this little blog that i've set up
DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?
yes. i am absolutely clueless when it comes to roleplay relationships but if you approach me about shipping (ESPECIALLY with other ocs) then there's a 9/10 chance that i'd be down for it. i'm not very talkative here but i promise i don't bite
ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?
ship obsessed. mention it to me once and i will be all over it. most of the ships i've made non-rp-wise straight up came from one-off jokes and ended up becoming some of the biggest comfort ships that i currently have
ARE YOU MULTISHIP?
yes! ashton is actually polyam and highly prefers being in open relationships so it wouldn't make much sense if i wasn't multiship
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?
if youve seen my toyhouse page you might know the answer to this. i love messy and dysfunctional relationships a normal amount
FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?
really all you gotta do is ask me and i'll most likely be down. i prefer natural chemistry over pre-plotted ships and i also HIGHLY prefer shipping w other ocs over canon characters (but i'm not completely against it). that's pretty much all there is to it!
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eclaire-went-bam · 3 years
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oc lineup
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just some of my characters lol
eiyym mohznov, genderfluid (he/they/she), tiny electrician who can probably break your nose
shadz, agender (they/them), hyperactive black market serial [data expunged]; not to be trusted
shadyn monroe, demiboy (he/it), burnt-out artist who REALLY likes fancy clothes
evelyn woods, aporagender (she/ze/xe), is probably a cryptid and she doesn't know also bunny vigilante
ace jacksons, boy (he/him), turned fashion into a crime
enkai shimizu, genderqueer, bite-sized assassin who adopts ferals
alex husher, demiboy (he/they/zir), Assassin With Sympathy™ also the first oc also also little mx references to other ocs over here
camille newton, girl (she/her), ghostly parkouring entomologist
amy korosov, neutrois (they/it/star), Space Demonias™ and also probably an international fugitive
admin, gendervoid (none), definitely not of this plane of existence idk what to tell u but definitely an umbreon fan
amietego, genderfluid (she/they/he), accidentally broke the flow of time
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astridthevalkyrie · 2 years
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i think aot ending soon has finally dawned on me and i’m getting p emotional 😭😭😭 to help me cope, i’ve just been thinking abt all the characters in an actor au and they’re all actually okay and are just acting, i’m in it as well bc why not 🙄💅🏽 but there’s not a lot of actor au aot stuff on tumblr!! they’re all so cute tho ughhh
oh my gosh actor au is so fucking adorable.
my favorite headcanon with that is that in the scene that historia punches levi, he wasn't supposed to smile, but he kept breaking and laughing or grinning so eventually they just kept it in.
mikasa and annie are best friends and actually knew each other before they started filming.
connie takes smoke breaks between scenes and always posts selfies of him freezing his ass outside in a really attractive hoodie to his insta.
if eren is ever asked who he ships his character with, his immediate answer is always jean.
erwin and connie are smoke buddies.
hange is also a fashion designer who has modeled their own clothing before. the scout uniforms were made with heavy input from them.
when ymir and historia announce that they're dating irl, yumikuri is trending for two days on twitter.
levi and mikasa are also cousins irl and didn't know the other was going to be in the show until they were both on set.
sasha hates paparazzi. she's also british.
reiner has the worst costumes for going out in public. homeboy puts on a pair of raybans and calls it a day.
one time eren accidentally leaked a nude. he then proceeded to say it wasn't his, causing even more chaos.
some of them get magazine covers, but none of them are as pretty as armin's, in a cashmere sweater with his lips parted and his fingers hooked under the collar.
zeke posts a picture of him taking a picture with eren's irl dad, captioning it "i can see the resemblance"
bertholdt is incredibly well spoken, whenever he talks at interviews or makes speeches at award shows, everyone hangs off on his every word.
every time eren sees mikasa on the red carpet, he presses a kiss to her cheek when he hugs her.
sasha and gabi have done many lives together, and the others are usually popping in and out during them.
jean is the only person so far who's been brave enough to read thirst tweets publicly, he was very cocky and didn't think he would blush as bad as he did.
erwin makes a tiktok account. he's verified in half an hour before he even posts a single video. his first post is just a closeup of him saying, "hello, tiktok!" very cheerfully.
meanwhile reiner does have a tumblr account. he uses it too.
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baeshijima · 3 years
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𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐲/𝐧
MASTERLIST
now, childe as a general streamer,,, he’s a whale in every sense of the word 
poggers—
so childe as a streamer in general would be one word ;
✨chaotic✨
he would definitely be a variety streamer, but more so for games !!
especially pvp and/or pve games
competitive meta mf—
probably plays LoL, overwatch, apex legends, valorant and minecraft
don’t question the minecraft 
he likes mining but has a personal vendetta against the creepers bc once they blew up his mansion 
yes, a mansion
ask any of his community and they’ll tell u he spent a full-blown month and a half playing just minecraft to build it, only for it to go down just like that ;-; 
his chat loved it tho <//3
he’s played honkai too !! mainly for the pve and grinding bc he’s a whale but uh,,, shhh
his community,,, his community are just a bunch of trolls at this point i cant even lie
they just KEKW, SADGE & COPIUM spam everything and the newer viewers get intimidated until they realise he deserves them all HJGKJHF
especially when he starts getting annoyed by the game,,, his reactions are too good to pass up on gn
typically when he does mario kart streams 👩‍🦯 that shit’s wild when it happens oh my
when he falls in rainbow road 🤡 
and especially bc he has his webcam on, his viewers just see him internally dying or wanting to scream
also gets passive aggressive 
shit talks everything and everyone when in that mood <//3
for what’s left of his dignity i won’t disclose what happens
definitely gets jebaited a lot too <//3 unfortunately he’s too easy for his chat ;-;
another mf with a massive community except he has a lot of friends (sorry not sorry albedo)
ppl have a love-hate relationship with him tbh; u either love him or hate him
no inbetween
unless u show ur love through bullying him then go off ig
his discord server, twt + yt are also really big too !! also verified on insta 
also !!
he has lots of plushies :(( esp whale plushies from his community bc he’s the biggest whale they know <//3
but if u look at his setup, there’s a mini whale plushie on the top of his main monitor (he has 3), one big one (like,,, up to his chin) behind him, a smol on the top of his chair so u can see it above his head, and just more off screen HKJSDHL
they asked for a room tour once and half of it was just whale plushies
the rest were LED lights + shelves of merch & gifts from his community !!
he even has some fanmail (actual wholesome ones that aren’t cursed) pinned on a board too 🥺
also has an ensuite—
when he was eating on stream one time, his chat was sent into an absolute outrage
u know why?
bc he was eating noodles with a fork
bby ;-;
so sometimes he’ll get sent those beginner chopsticks with the finger guides to help him 👩‍🦯
he’s actually made sure to eat with them on stream tho bc he was sent one with a narwhal on top and he thinks it’s cute JHGJKH
nOW ONTO THIS MAN BEING WHIPPED FOR U AS A GENSHIN STREAMER !!!!
herkekle
now, his (also) AR56 ass has been playing since genshin first came out
an og if u will
this man,,, he’s been in love with u even before the game’s official release 🐥
not only were u in the promotional art and trailers, but he was also one of the beta testers so he got to try out ur character first hand in the early stages !!
and when i say he fell hard for u,
i mean it 
when the game wasn’t released publicly yet, he wasn’t allowed to disclose any information and ngl, it killed him that he couldn’t talk abt u :((
so all he could do was say this upcoming was really nice so far and subtly brag abt u to everyone JHGKJSDFHLK
when the official ads & promotional art were finally released 🥺🥺 when i tell u he immediately went live talking abt the game and u HKGJHFDK
he didn’t care that he streamed at an ungodly hour bc he’s been waiting for the reveal for so long he needs to let everyone know </3
he retweeted everything from their official twt straightaway, made a yt video based off his spontaneous stream promoting the game + pinged his entire server abt it
yes
his nearly 200k server all got pinged abt this one game bc he’s in love with a character from it
and he has no regrets abt it <33
the day the game was available for download, he stREAMED THE ENTIRE DOWNLOAD PROCESS
while he and his chat were waiting, they decided to watch the trailers and character showcases to get a feel for the game, and played some mario kart to pass the time !!
as soon as the game loaded, he threw mario kart behind him and went on 🐥
he typed his name (ajax) for the when he chose aether and literally everyone was appreciating the aesthetics HKJFS
but childe,,, he was waiting for it to be over so he could see u ;-;
he appreciated the aesthetics, fighting mechanics & voice acting a lot tho !!
now he had gotten through all the tutorials, got all the chests he could he was finally in mond
and there u were 🥺 after the dvalin encounter u arrived before kaeya did
and boy did he show u off sm to his viewers HKJHKLF
they knew he was down bad before but now?? they know it’s hopeless to save him and if he ever falls out of love that’s when the world ends
luckily that’ll never happen tho <33
but he took !! so many !! screenshots !!
oh, and did i mention he changed his wallpapers to u? and his twt + discord pfps are also some very aesthetic screenshots of u from that first scene ;-;
he just appreciates u sm okay 🥺
he even clutched his chest where his heart is and sunk down his chair when he heard u speak 😩
his chat just spammed his downbad + y/nlove + SHRIMP emotes and he accepted them all with grace <33
now when he unlocks the wishing feature,,, u already know he’s wishing for u as soon as possible
ur in the standard banner so ur always there which he appreciates but he would’ve wanted u to be limited so he can rub it in ppl’s faces ;-;
and since it was the first release rewards, he had tons of wishes right off the bat !!
he was gonna roll for venti after he gets u bc,,, well does he need a reason??
also he doesn’t do well with archer characters in general ;;; but if ur an archer then ur obv an exception sooo
bUT he got a 5 star in his first 20 pulls !!
tho it was diluc 👩‍🦯
while he was happy bc he got an incredibly meta character right off the bat,
he wasn’t interested in diluc,,, (even now his diluc is barely looked after, and only used for spiral abyss, *sweats*)
the next 5 star he got was around the 60 mark, and he got a weapon,,,
i mean,,, he got the weapon that was most suited for u so that’s smth at least (ˉ▽ˉ;)
after he used all his remaining primos and fates, he finally got u 🥺
he just went “fuck the storyline” and immediately put u in his party and just
admired u as a whole 
went through all the voice lines available, ur character story, ur idle animations (he had a heart attack from u and his chat clipped it) and took many, many screenshots 
his favourite voice lines would have to be the night + about us + (y/n)’s hobbies
and then he equipped u with ur weapon and damnnn did u look so good with it 😩
he changed u to be his avatar, with his signature as :
“(y/n)’s whale <3”
and now the whaling process begins 👩‍🦯
after at least £2k, he got u to c6, along with at least 1 copy of all the standard 5 stars,,
then he went for venti’s banner—
his chat were just too focused on how he’s gonna play u to even think of anything else tbh HKJAH
with ur kit, u were honestly seen to be a dps or even a sub dps if ppl don’t want u on the field all the time
so definitely a perfect character for mr meta strimmer tartaglia (his twitch name btw ;;; childe is just smth he prefers his community to call him as but they also call him ajax too HKJSD) here
so he went through the archon quests with u as his carry and i won’t lie, ur name card is smth he has printed and framed behind him after he got it 🥺
he later finds out ur part of the fatui in the liyue archon quest tho and has to fight u with,,,
well, u ;;;
he finds it hot tho so it’s okay—
i won’t lie tho, his zhongli after he got him is his second strongest after u
he just builds all his characters in the most broken way he can so he can show his viewers that everyone can be a dps in their own right, not just the ones meant to be since there’s no right or wrong in this game !!
but now ur weapon is r5, ur lvl 90 and u have lvl 20 5 star artifacts that make u the most broken (y/n) seen
ppl who co op with him are honestly baffled,,, especially when the feature of them being able to view other players’ character stats become available,,,
u with ur nearly 3k atk,,,
he’s hit over 600k with u tho and he’ll always flex that
no one can top him as a (y/n) main and that’s honestly just a fact at this point 😩
when he saw that the dating sim hangouts was official, his immediate and iconic response was simply ;
“so when will (y/n) become a dateable, huh 🤨”
to this day he’s still waiting to be able to date u in-game <//3
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animalinvestigator · 2 years
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sending another ask in response because the reply function does Not anticipate my wordiness!!! always fine to post me publicly usually btw and if not ill try to say so ^_^
BUT yeah i rlly rlly like the message of change not always needing to be bad i used to be so so so scared of and anti-change all the time and like. its a good message.
though i was also considering earlier today that for mike’s death, whatever it may be (i dont think its important to actually figure it out with what specificallt happened for this), maybe it was a lack of change that lead to his death? like rainer said, you can never have mike a back so i was thinking maybe mike’s family was trying to act like nothing changed, its still mike a and refusinf to address it and lead to his death in some way. and this could fuel rainer’s resentment for the family (fuck you all and fuck me as well, u get the idea) and kind of further cements to him his very negative views and also why he specificallt mentioned theres a better chance of helping care b or nlm. jus smth i was thinking abt!
(also was trying to decide how to think abt the lines from scop 3 if u have any thoughts! not far in my own thinking abt it though: “When you find her room, the passage to my right will lead to her.She'll appear from the darkness, limping, and I'll shoot her in the head.” my thinking is the first ‘her’, at least, is lina because there Is a passage to the right in her room in the library and also it does say “You found her” b4 said room which seems telling. was thinking POSSIBLY the second half of the quote is referring to paul/care MMMMAYBE showing up in the ensuing rooms to the right as he is walking around in game in the dark? but could maybe have a double or different meaning with that latter half of the quote idk lol. its not like an especially super important specific part i dont think? but i find it interesting)
put this under the cut cos it got long ^o^ lots to talk abou there!!!!
definitely! i feel like "being unwilling to make meaningful change" seems to be at the heart of a lot of the horrible failures to protect vulnerable parties that define the mark hammond leskowitz family tree. theres a malignancy in the family that it takes 10000 tragedies for the other parties to address, and i think its pretty clear to me that a lot of rainer's resentment comes from that inaction. he pretty clearly feels like the family has failed, and i think their biggest failure is willful ignorance and unwillingness to change until it's way too late. The "if you think they're worth the effort" in care a's description just kind of oozes with that specific kind of resentment-- like 'since you didn't seem to care at all when it happened to mike' kind of thing. so TLDR i took a very similar thing away from it! i dont think we need to know exactly what happened to know that whatever happened, rainer feels like mike was failed somehow. i could spend about 200 years talking about rainer but i wont. Actually im going to write another paragraph talking about him right now so i just lied. the note in cares room is one of the densest pieces of writing in the entire series and theres 100000 things i could say about it. WRT to the line you pointed out specifically, i definitely think that line in particular is talking about lina as well !!! because the passageway in her room is exactly where it describes, paralell to the child library text, etc etc etc. the latter half of the quote could be referring to pretty much anyone. personally i read it as a continuation of the thought about lina becuase the mention of her limping is consistent with his constant drawing paralells between her and mike's dog who specifically broke its leg, but i definitely don't think it's a stretch at all to say its talking about care because the same paralells are drawn between HER and the dog as well and because she is the character that he talks about "pulling out of the darkness" in addition to the thing you pointed out about her wandering in the literlaly dark gameworld (see care b text below)
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it could go either way, i definitely don't think defining specifically who it is changes his intent much, but its interesting to try to dissect what exactly he meant by this, espescially because its so like cynical and hopeless. the fact that the portions where he's talking about lina and the portions where he's talking about care kind of blend together into the same thought are pretty telling in and of themself, too.
lots of dubiousness with that particular chunk of writing because i think a lot of his intent behind it cant really be determined unless we know where along the timeline it is -- it almost definitely was written after care got home from the school, but thats a bit antagonistic to rainer's loose attitude of hope towards helping her at the time. ive had a lot of heated discussions on the subject of timeline stuff relating to this piece and i dont think there's really any way to determine, but its definitely really interesting either way n_n
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papers4me · 3 years
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Fruits Basket, SE03, Ep1
I’m here! The final season continues from where se02 oddly left, right in the middle of a conversation! XD.
-Tohru’s crushed heart (scarf): Excellent symbolism!
Tohru, burdened with trying to lift the curse of teen & adult sohmas, is now also troubled by trying to help Arisa’s romantic life is sad for akito! Too much for compassionate selfless tohru. Unable to help, protect & erase the pain, tohru crumbles. Freezes. Her white scarf (heart) flies away, gets crushed by cars & becomes dirty. But here comes a boy ( who thinks himself a monster) picks it up, cleans & returns it back. He thinks nothing of his deed. nothing heroic abt saving a scarf, really. But do we need to be heroes to save others? kyo saves tohru by being kyo. Not the zodiac cat & not the menacing monster. Her heart is saved by him, shown much care & returned back. Mind you, the heart (scarf) is not brand new after the delima. It’s not very clean after being crushed, some marks remain, but these are marks of growth!!! you walk away after hardships carrying minor scars of victory. This scene solidify kyo’s role in tohru’s life as an equal companion. Not a heroic prince charming. It is the little things he does that shows who he is. kyo isn’t abt big soft words, he doesn't say the best things. he is a man of action. His care, love & compassion comes so very easily & naturally to him thro actions. This is what yuki meant by saying he’s jealous of kyo. Yuki over thinks his steps & doubt everything before he acts. Kyo acts spontaneously then doubts himself later. He saves the scarf (heart) then tells her directly to buy another one if she feels it’s not clean. He failed to see how this trivial action meant the world to tohru. Tohru smiles lively cuz her heart is back to her.
Why is the scarf scene so important? (aka furuba’s best usage of symbolism yet!)
It symbolizes tohru’s toxic flaw that she must overcome! It represents tohru’s tormented heart over other ppl’s pain with severe neglect to her own problems & issues. Arisa’s love life shouldn’t be tohru’s delima, nor Akito’s complex or Kureno’s or the damned curse. Tohru toxically chooses to bear other burdens’ until they crush her.
Hana can’t come to save tohru from pain each time tohru indulges in it. Tohru must realize her own flaw & grow up beyond this toxic type of kindness. Feel & help others, but don’t use them to escape your pain & don’t indulge in their own struggles & neglect yourself. There is a reason hana’s knowing of tohru’s pain is thro “magical” waves, to symbolize that this can’t become a norm, not real. You can’t depend on magic to grow. I love that!
The white scarf bearing smudges of the tires even after kyo washed it shows that kyo’s love & care can’t magically heal all tohru’s pain. It parallels kyo’s words from se01, ep,24 when he said tohru didn’t heal all his pain, but he feels better simply cuz she stayed by his side. Tohru now is feeling better cuz kyo chose was there for her. Love doesn’t magically heal you, kids! But it sure puts you on the path! Also, this once again adds more depth to the (tohru/kyo) equal give & take dynamics.
This scene deconstruct the image of Tohru represented as an angelic mother throughout 2 seasons. Instead, It paints her as a real flawed girl with much need for growth. Exactly, like how we have learned by now that kyo isn’t a horrible monster nor a prince charming saving the day, but a flawed boy with much need for growth. However, these two push each other forward in a subtle way through daily situations! Excellent writing!!
-Kureno. (aka. who tohru should never become):
The harmful kindness: Kureno is someone who hurts himself & hurt many others (akito, arisa, shigure, & consequently the rest of the zodiacs) by giving the harmful types of kindness to akito, by completely erasing his own needs, desires & living for the sake of someone who would be far better without him. Kureno is who tohru might have become if she selflessly continues fighting solely for the sohma’s sake & trying to break the curse while ignoring her own life. She’ll become as miserable as kureno & the zodiacs will become dependable on her.
The destructive pity: Kureno pities this tormented child (akito) & chooses to stay with her until her tears dry. This pity is destructive cuz it is done while he wishes to be miles away with Arisa & it encourages akito to stay as she is. Look, a child whose mom hates her deserves pity. But an adult woman needs to learn to build relationships based on mutual affection & respect. This talk of pity reminds me of kyo & kagura. Kagura pitied the cat zodiac. The relationship was doomed cuz kyo refuses pity. It doesn’t matter if her pity turned into love later. Kyo doesn’t want that from her or anyone. There is NO equality there. We know tohru came to love kyo for all the times he was there for her & all the times he pushed her to improve, to complain, to want things! she said so in se01, ep, 24. But we also know that young baby tohru pitied the cat when her mom told her the zodiacs story. what if kyo thinks tohru’s affection is pity???? that’s a big NO for him & for every person. I really want tohru to be as far from any kurno’s traits as possible!!!
-Akito, the pitiful woman:
Akito was born a girl, forced to be raised as a boy by her mother’s demands? where is the father?? she was hated by her mother. why? she also hates her mom. (hate your child & they’ll hated you). So, akito is doomed by her mom. Akito tries to prove that she’s loved by the zodiac “she specified the male zodiacs” interesting! we saw how she hates both Isuzu & kisa & doesn’t give a damn abt kagura. This woman, forced to pose as a man, actually desires to be treated as a woman. As for the other zodiacs:
No worries abt hatori leaving cuz he’s 24/7 attending to her health.
Ayame makes tea exclusively for her & hatori.
she thinks Ritsu is too timid to attempt leaving.
Hiro’s a baby, momiji is hated cuz she can’t break him.
Kyo is destined to be locked. but Why she cares abt the cat anyway?? She publicly hates him & feels disgusted by him.
She used to control yuki but can’t anymore.
she uses intimacy to bound those who “can” leave her the most: kurno! & shigure? she sleeps next to shigure in the valentine ep. hatori remarked: don’t let akito catch cold. We saw the sexually charged rage in se02, ep10. So, she isn’t faithful to kureno. They don’t have a relationship. She doesn’t even have a relationship with shigure, either. to her, sex is a tool to tie them both to her?
It is ironic that the person who said she despises woman & accuses Isuzu of seducing hatori is herself seducing others. Except, tragically, kureno isn’t with her for herself, but cuz he pities her. We saw her slapping & embracing him. Next scene; her bare shoulders & his unbuttoned shirt clearly implies they got intimate which is what akito does to feel secure in kureno not leaving her. Kureno is not even interested in her despite submitting to her advances, needs & orders. He does it out of pity. Truly the most tragic form of physical affection: sex for pity. wow... how tragically pitiful is the abusive ruler of the zodiacs who looms over them & demands respect & eternal bonds. How can she find someone who’ll love her for herself, if she doesn’t learn to show good sides of her? Yuki wasn’t loved for who he is in school, but for being the “prince”, he showed his real character & got himself true friends & soon a lover!!!  Kyo, was feared & pitied for turning into a “monster”, but once he showed his kind & harmless self, he got himself true friends & a girl who loves him for his actual personality! Who will love akito for who she is if she only shows a spoiled child, horrible family head or a pitiful woman? What does shigure love in her? he doesn’t seem to pity her nor pamper her much, does he?  perhaps we’ll know more abt the real akito later.
Side notes:
Akito’s mom reminded me of kyo’s dad. Abused children, who are hated by their parents, don’t let go of the hurt easily. they’ll always try to either get their approval, show them they were worthy of their love, or they’re NOTHING like their parents think they are. eg: Kyo’s biological father’s hate has destroyed kyo. Kyo have kazuma & tohru & he still wonder why they love him. It took kyo 17 years to actually promise to call kazuma "dad” one day in se01 finale. You need time to heal the wounds inflected by the ones who should love you the most. Being loved by others doesn’t magically heal you! You need to take few steps forward.
Isuzu is Ren’s clone! finally understanding why the severe hate from akito towards Isuzu. I’ll wait for more Ren/Akito content before analyzing their relationship.
Ren is so sexy. ngl, the scene of the zodiacs touching her belly after she just *conceived* akito is so creepy~ ew! 
Hana picked up tohru first before kyo, cuz this show isn’t exclusive for romantic love as much as it isn’t exclusive for friendship. There is balance. 
Tohru needs her own future, so does Arisa & hana! Learn to accept the limit of what you can do as a friend, tohru.. forever loving furuba for steering away from “friends stay together forever~yay” anime trope! Furuba is abt independent & individual adult life! building your own future! Epic writing!
Forever fascinated by how much the little small ordinary daily life things has really built kyo-tohru love! It feels so real & very uniquely built! Excellent writing!
Arisa is stuck with an adult man trapping himself in the most unnecessary love triangle. Kureno’s cage is self made, no curse. A very sheltered boy/man not living in the real world. Only two options for kureno if he continues this path: he’ll hurt akito, or akito will hurt him. We know the answer from the trailer, don’t we?
Arisa letting go of kuron is growth! Let go & live, girl!
There is a subtle theme of learning to let go in furuba~
Yuki is the biggest kyoru shipper!
Tohru intentionally hitting kyo with scarf’s pon-pon is my fave side of her! intentional flirting shows change from her little girl’s good girl attitude to her own type of a feisty woman! after all, she’s nearly 18!
The way the camera moved when kyo spotted the scarf was so good!
The director is obsessed with flying!! did he work on attack on titans? cuz the Ren-akito flying fight reminded me of Titan Eren strangling Titan Annie in AOT se01 finale! but chibi version! XD. I’m sorry for akito’s pain, but I was distracted by laughing! XD
look, if you plan to dramatize a situation, know your budget & your skills. Obviously, the director knew the scene is badly done, hence, the wide far away, dim lit shot to hide as much as it can. Couldn’t he do without it? let akito strangle her to the ground without flying!
oh well~these over-the-top shots are now a furuba trade mark~ just praying they stick with one weird shot per season.
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mariaiscrafting · 3 years
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ahhhh ty ty ty <3
ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.
he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:
• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.
let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo
my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.
• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)
(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2
pt. 2:
Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2
Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):
Speed of Dream's rise to fame
The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase
Post-MCC HBomb stream
Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans
Manipulation & RSD
Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand
The “just a dude” argument, flipped
First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.
Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.
Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.
Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.
Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.
Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.
I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.
Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.
Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.
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gh0st-patr0l · 3 years
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Okay. Alright. I wasn’t gonna talk abt this, but apparently this is a discussion that needs to be had. So Lets Have It.
I have a Big Fucking Problem with all this “cc!critical” stuff in general. And I’m just gonna say it straight up.
You Don’t Know These People.
You do not have a personal relationship with these content creators. You do not talk to them on a one-on-one basis. You do not know them.
So why the hell do you people think it’s your responsibility OR your place to judge them as a person?
Let’s look at what this person pointed out specifically!
First of all- yes, Karl IS ND and has confirmed that much. He’s mentioned having ADHD several times on stream and has tweeted clarifying that he’s officially diagnosed- I don’t have the tweet on hand but it Does exist, you can do your own research if you don’t believe me.
Building on top of Niki’s base. Let’s look at that situation:
They are on a survival minecraft server. Where Niki specifically made an underground base, without telling Anyone where it is. Where they are free to build and do what they want wherever.
Niki specifically stated publicly after the fact that she had no problem with Karl building on top of her base, and that it was funny and could pose some cool lore opportunities- proving that all of yall complaining about this not Only don’t actually listen to her or pay attention to her actual feelings or opinions on things and just want an excuse to get mad, but that you will specifically talk over her when her feelings don’t support your argument.
KARL AND NIKI ARE FRIENDS. They are Real Life Adults who are capable of talking to each other if they have problems with what they are doing. For someone who seems concerned with infantilizing people, you sure seem to have trouble with remembering that being an adult also means you can have agency and can speak for yourself
“Treating people on TFTSMP as if they are visibly less important”
I’m... not even sure where to start on this one? Where has he Ever gone out of his way to exclude someone or make them seem unimportant?
TFTSMP is a Group Improvisation Series. People come up with characters and roleplay. There is no line-to-line script. If people want to talk, they Can Talk. Sure, some people may be more shy or anxious! It Is Not Karl’s Responsibility To Put More Pressure Or Focus On Them, nor would that be good or productive of him to do! If your fave is in an episode and isn’t talking as much, it’s probably because They Don’t Want To, and that is in no way Karl’s doing???
I honestly REALLY want to see a specific example of him doing this because I cannot name One off the top of my head. Karl does his best in Tales to make sure everyone there has their time to shine if they Want to. If somebody doesn’t do as much, that’s because. They Didnt Want To Do As Much
And this is why I have a fucking problem with yall. Because you LOVE to remind us that Karl is an adult and is responsible for his actions and how he treats people!!!
But then... suddenly the rest of his friends are Incapable of voicing their opinions? Of settling personal conflicts? Of choosing to interact with people who they enjoy spending time with???
You cant pick and choose to address personal agency and responsibility when it suits you. If Eret, or Niki, or any of Karl’s friends have problems with him, they can fucking say so? Or better yet, address it in private? Like normal fucking people? Because this is what yall dont seem to get-
THEIR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Imagine you were walking down the street, and passed a group of people, and overheard their conversations. And you decided you didn’t like the way one of them talked to the others, so you inserted yourself into their conversation and went “HEY I DONT THINK YOU’RE A GOOD PERSON AND I DONT THINK YOU SHOULD BE FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY OBVIOUSLY TREAT YOU BADLY.”
How fucking weird would that be??? Is that not overstepping major boundaries and making assumptions about people you don’t know??? HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT.
Any time Karl’s friends have ACTUALLY spoken about how he is as a friend or person, I have heard NOTHING but good things! His close friends- including Eret, Niki, and all the other people you LOVE to speak for and get mad about- have only ever spoken about him being kind, selfless, and a genuinely lovely person and friend. But you all seem to be absolutely Certain that what you see of him, from behind a screen, is somehow a much more accurate picture of who he is as a person, and think you know better than the people who are actually friends with him.
When I made that post, I wasn’t saying that you can’t make any judgement about him without being ableist. Frankly, the fact that you assumed that was what I was saying says a LOT about you, but I’m not gonna touch on that.
What I was saying was that a lot of the time, when people say they’re being “CC critical”, they’re not actually being critical of anything Karl does as a content creator. They don’t talk about his streaming, his writing, or his directing. What they talk about is the way he talks, the way he acts, and stuff that is heavily influenced by his ADHD. What I have a problem with is that people completely misuse the term “criticism”.
Because giving feedback on how somebody makes content is one thing. But when you’re complaining about how he talks, how he acts with his friends, or how he lives his life, that’s not “criticism”, that’s just fucking judging someone that you don’t know.
I’m not saying you have to like Karl. But don’t try to make it look like you have some moral high ground, speak over other CCs, or make it seem like you’re somehow conducting some social justice when what you’re really doing is complaining about a person living their life. Just say you don’t like him and move on, because I promise, you are not doing Anything else.
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nastyatticman · 3 years
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If Slashers had horny Tumblrs...
What it says on the tin! HC post for if Jason, Bubba, Brahms, & Billy (Lenz) had their own tumblrs for horny content. (18+ only)
If you like these, feel free to send a request for other characters if you want :D
Contains : adult content, discussions of kink & brief mention of sexual harassment
Jason Voorhees
Very barebones bio that gives some basic info - his age, his gender/pronouns, and a warning this blog contains adult content. 
Doesn’t get updated often, and it’s usually all at night. Mostly consists of content he reblogs from different creators (artists/sex workers, etc)
Don’t expect a fancy theme or anything - he only uses his phone for horny content since he shares a computer with his sweet old boomer mom.
A good mix - largely pictures people post of themselves or art he likes. Sometimes he’s in a Mood and reblogs a bunch of very specific kinky posts - text posts with affirmations from doms, risqué art, gif sets of people in gear.
He doesn’t have a huge following or anything, just a handful of mutuals and spam bots he doesn’t clear out frequently. But when he posts anything he thinks could be too intense he makes sure to tag it with warnings, just in case.
Sometimes leaves little compliments for people - he’s usually too shy to message people directly but he’ll reblog their posts and say nice things in the tags. Nothing too forward, usually things like “you look so handsome here!” 
Bubba Sawyer
Makes sure not to put any identifying info but he usually puts his age/vague age range (“in my 30s”) because people ask for that.
A collection of stuff he likes, mostly pictures or gifs or the odd video or audio post. 
A lot of mostly vanilla content - again, what turns him on, what he can jerk it to easily. Stuff he can focus on when he’s really trying to get off. I feel like he’s more likely to reblog a gif set of people just going at it or pictures of a hot person in lingerie or cute undies than anything with too much of a kink/fetish focus. But not always.
I’m not sure if our Bubba can read/write very well so I can’t see him reblogging or writing long text posts, but there will be a few short ones here and there. 
He’s a little too nervous to post intimate pics publicly but I can see him on a very very confident day posting pics of just his hands after seeing people talk abt how they like strong hands.
Again, doesn’t write a lot, so he doesn’t add comments to reblogs or anything
He may leave nice things in tags tho! Like Jason he sometimes leaves little compliments for people whose content he reblogs (ur dress is so pretty!). Sometimes he tags things with certain emojis that seem to have some kind of meaning… a mood he’s in… or maybe they remind him of someone he likes?
Brahms Heelshire
VERY detailed very organized pinned post with info about him including a list of his kinks, and what interactions he wants/doesn’t want. Also, places to send him tribute. Not that he needs the money, of course, but he wouldn’t mind if you got him something off his wishlist. (Wink wink nudge nudge.)
I see him as a switch who leans heavily towards submissive with a bratty streak. However people tend to assume he’s more dominant since he reblogs more dom centered text posts (he’s usually imagining he’s the sub in those scenarios).
Has a decent following since he will periodically produce a lot of original content - mostly text posts, or audio, and the occasional picture where his face is obscured and no naughty bits are showing directly. He errs on the side of caution since he doesn’t want to get struck down by the tumblr nipple police, and also because are you kidding me his family has a reputation to uphold, he can’t afford to get caught 
Tumblr is his main horny platform of choice because he finds it easier to organize content he likes into an archive, and there’s more privacy. He tried making an nsfw account on other platforms before, but because of linked accounts and email fuckery he got recommended to follow a family friend and nearly shat himself. (He has a good handle on privacy and he knows that person couldn’t find him - he double checked his privacy settings after that - but it still scared him off that website, at least for that purpose.)
Because he has a decent following he also has a few mutuals he’s messaged periodically. He’s varying degrees of close - some only know him from his posts, some know his main tumblr, some may even be following him on other platforms as “long distance friends”
Every once in a while debates about having his own server for his simps followers, but he’s not sure about using his discord where he keeps in touch with friends/family for it or making a new one. You’re welcome to message him if you’re mutuals or you send him some cash first ❤️
Billy Lenz
What do you mean, “horny on main”? What, like you have an alt?
His blog is like, 98% porn but every once in a while he’ll reblog a non porn post to get into an argument.
“You sure have a lot of opinions on Canadian politics for a hentai blog 🤔”
Mostly an archive of stuff he finds hot at the time, without rhyme or reason - reblogs, links to other websites, etc. mostly chaos, but it seems like every once in a while he tries to have some kind of tagging system.
He sometimes posts original content - sometimes rambling text posts about the kind of sex he wants to have, very rarely pictures of himself. that he deletes immediately after in fear of getting flagged.
When it comes to audio posts… the Moaner lives up to his name. Although he’s not skilled with recording - clearly doing it on his phone - His audios aren’t half bad if you can find them. Usually captioned with something about how he made them or what he was thinking about when he made them.
Let’s be real, canon Billy had like no concept of consent. Or just didn’t care, because he wanted to scare and intimidate people. He’s definitely been blocked by people for sending creepy messages/asks or adding unwanted captions to their posts. When he wants to hit on someone in a way that means they may reciprocate, he’s nicer, but people are still (understandably) put off by him.
At his most polite though, he’d be the type to send an ask to someone saying he hopes they come to Toronto so that he can eat their hot pink cunt and make them cum on his thick tongue and fat, juicy cock. (This is regardless of factors like their actual location, whether or not they have a cunt, or travel guidelines due to the pandemic.)
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creatively-cosmic · 3 years
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what are some of your 2kki headcanons? or lore ideas? i'd be interested to hear them!
well there r some that i can't mention publicly bc that's a surprise thing for later for some friends that follow this blog :x BUT!! Im GLAD 2 talk abt what i CAN
Urotsuki is a dream jumper! She involuntary leaps from various other people's dreams--some of the npcs you see around the game are said dreamers! Like Odorika, Elvis Masada, Victim, and Marina for a few examples off the top of my head.
Urotsuki MAY be a little Unwell for a supernatural reason that may have to do with a very damaged, practically non-existant soul :D this has absolutely nothing to do with why she can do the first thing i mentioned /s
She knew Madotsuki and was friends with her! She was also online friends with Sabitsuki for a little while. I speak in past tense because, the events of 2kki take place after the endings of both Yume Nikki and .flow. oops...
Almost all of the 2kki endings, except for the one when you step off the stool, are dreams. One particular ending actually leaves Uro dreaming forever, falling into a self induced coma. (hint: it's the one where the stool appears on the dream balcony)
By the way, Urotsuki is nonbinary (she/they) and sapphic, and is in a polycule with Odorika and Firehead :]
Odorika works at a pet shop and is the only person that consistently visits Uro. She's usually the one that gets her out of the house since Uro can't leave alone, due to her easily falling asleep in potentially dangerous places. They have fun times together!
In my personal canon, she sees Mado and Sabi as sisters! (i am totally fine w the ships tho im just a sucker for found family). Uro also has biological family, though--they're [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED] :D
Urotsuki is very skilled with art, composing, and technology! Her computer serves as her dream diary. She digitally draws things she sees in her dreams, composes tracks based on them, makes note of repeating occurrences, and just in general uses it to document the many things she sees. She's VERY dedicated to this and very very thorough.
This is because she has! Memory issues! Urotsuki has forgotten a very large chunk of her childhood, with only some glimpses seeping through the occasional dream that ends up being her own. She also has faulty short term memory, hence why she likes to keep a diary, so she can check anything that slips her memory!
Going back to the Urotsuki knew Madotsuki and Sabitsuki thing--I'm actually writing an entire lore thing (with the help of a few friends!) to create an entire world within which various fangame characters exist! Urotsuki is a main character in this due to reasons i cant say here (hi space pangea folks). That being said, if you'd like to see what I have so far for things beyond 2kki, you're welcome to check out this informational doc! It's still a work in progress, but there's a lot there so far, much more than I can sum up in a tumblr post. We've got diseases, unethical science, AND eldritch horrors!
if u have any theories on this stuff u can dm me! :O I'd b happy to confirm or deny!
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txbioglow · 3 years
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serious talk today 😔 so i need to address character anons . why you should be careful with them , my experience ( bc that’s why im making this , as i need to address it ) , and if you are a character anon for someone , why it’s so important to be nice .
this is long but please bare with me as it’s important
everyone wants a character anon. someone to talk to that also happens to be a character from a show you like ?? sign me up . people use character anons as comfort characters , they talk to them , get to pretend like their favorite character is actually real for just a bit . and it truly makes people happy . they feel good abt themselves and puts a smile on their face . see the difference with real friends and anons , is that you know exactly who your mutual is . with your character anon , you have no idea who’s really behind that . when a mutual calls you an insult , it’s most likely in a jokingly and loving way . to a degree , teasing and insulting each other is okay . when that comes from a character anon , it feels like a slap in the face . that perfect happy world you were in ? vanished . now you just feel shocked that your character anon , has just changed and is now bullying you in a way that doesn’t give off tsukishima vibes . like the person behind that is seriously making that character an ass towards you and do you know how much it hurts ? imagine a stranger coming up and calling you for example , a dumbass . or saying they’d rather talk to someone else . hurts right ? that’s how it feels when a character anon comes for you .
moving on to my experience with a character anon . it was heaven at first . i had talked about how much i wanted a character anon and boom there was an anon in my inbox . too good to be true . they were so nice , made me melt . i almost threw my computer across the room couldn’t stop smiling . we spoke for a little , very soft cutely . my friends and i were all fangirling . they were hyping me up , watching this unfold like a k-drama . we were having fun they came up with a ship name for us , helped me reply to my anon , until everything went downhill
then we moved to my alt account to talk for a few reasons and i’m very glad we did because i would be ashamed if any of you had to have the conversation that started popping up on your dashboard . i received a message from them saying “ gotta blast to another babe, i’ll be back in a bit 🧡- your dearest ( character ) 🧡”
see i don’t care if you use this same anon for mutliple people when you interact with me like that it’s in their character and it makes me feel terrible about myself . go ahead and use the same character anon for mutliple people but don’t tell me you have to go talk to ‘ another babe ‘ in your character . makes me feel like i’m no longer interesting and you’re tired of me . not to sound self centered but when you send me a character anon in my inbox , i don’t want to be told those things by them . and it was all fine until then . so my friends said ‘ go off on him ‘ and i just played it cool like i was upset so i ‘ went off ’ 
as if that weren’t good enough i received two more saying  “no need to get pressed miss 💀- (character) 😜” and “i’ll just slide in one of ur friends dms then LMAO- stay pressed 🥺”
this hurt me so much man . i played it cool and said like ‘omg wow ihy you whore ‘ but it really did hurt . i got messages from my three oldest and closest mutuals that the character did indeed ‘ slide ‘ into their inboxes . it was ignored by one , and addressed by two . both seemingly upset because at that point i was visibly hurt . the anon was flamed by them and no on heard from them after that . however two of my mutuals ( including one who received a message from my anon ) gained new anons at the same time i did today . their anons had the EXACT same layout as mine , and i am very suspicious .
see if this wasn’t already ‘ not fine ‘ i then realized , that this person , who acted like an ass , and hurt me , has to be one of my followers . wtf man . did you think it was funny but it went wrong ? were you genuinely attempting to hurt me ? and as well as the fact that two of the mutuals that the anon spoke to after me where two close friends whom i havent publicly interacted with in ages . so is someone stalking me and my acc ? i have full confidence that the anon is reading this right now . what i’m now doing is laying a bit lower , maybe interacting on alt accounts , staying cautious of anons , and attempting to find out who the anon was . my attempts haven’t been working so if anyone who’s reading this knows of methods that have worked for them before ( for finding out who anons are ) please message me or talk to me through inbox or comments . i really want to know who this person was knowing they must follow my account closely . whether its for finding account names or ip addresses , anything works <3
so this brings me to my next topic , please be cautious of anons because you don’t know who they are or what their intentions are . 
and i just want to show some extra love to a few people for the following reasons , 
@zerohawks for hyping me up and helping me out both when the anon was still soft , and when the anon turned . i love u sm
@nejihoe for helping me research ways to find anons , and just listening . understanding my feelings and asking me genuinely how i felt . i appreciate you so much
@kaminology for absolutely flaming my anon on your dashboard , and for being concerned about me and really just putting everything down for me you know how much i love you .
@kageyuwu for really listening and volunteering to do everything you could to help , and scrolling through youtube for a good half an hour trying to figure out how to track anons i appreciate you more than you could know .
please go give them some love !!
anyway i thank you for listening if you made it to the end , heed what i said about being and receiving character anons please for your safety <3 
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drabbles-of-writing · 4 years
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Hi! I've been reading your stories and frankly I think you're doing very well. I'm thinking about writing, can you give me some tips? If possible, some l¡nks about more technical things. Thanks a lot in advance!
Sure thing my dude!
Write what you want to see. That’s the most important thing and I will continue to talk abt it you cannot stop me. You think nobody will care about it? Write it anyway! Even if it’s popularity is minor, there are still people out there who love and adore what you made, and it makes their day. So write what you would want to see, because I guarantee there is someone out there who wants to see it, too.
I know it sounds boring, but study books you like! Look at how sentences and dialogue are structured and incorporate it into your own. Punctuation is important! And some sentences end in a , rather than a . and makes the flow a bit easier.
It’s tiring, but re-read your works. Once you finish, scroll back to the top and read through it. Make notes of words you use often (ex; mumbled, huffed, snapped) and make sure to spread them out evenly so you aren’t repeating yourself. Be prepared to delete or rewrite sentences if you don’t like it, or even write in new scenes. It’ll look clunky at first, but ironing it out makes it work better.
THESAURUS! It’s very helpful! Type in a word you want to use and look at other variations. It’s also good for finding that One Word you didn’t realize you needed until right then. Look up words! Be flavorful, but also know that sometimes a simple ‘said’ is all you need to get your point across.
This one depends on the person, but I like to imagine my scenes in my head, like I’m watching a show or movie. But it’s up to you how descriptive you want to be, if you want to be very specific on what your viewers see vs letting them come up with their own ways to view it. But don’t over-do things, and if your descriptions seem to drag on, you may want to cut them down. Describing things is good, but you don’t want to be spewing about things that may not matter all that much to the story.
Look up works similar to what your writing, if you can find them. This includes actual books or fanfiction. It’s never a bad thing to take inspiration or to look for help by searching what others have chosen to do.
If you ever post it online, wait a day or so before checking for comments or notes. It’s mostly just a personal preference of mine, but I like it since comments build up over time in a day and I get v happy over the comments that built up over those hours. And if it doesn’t get as many as you hoped, oh well. Sometimes it was your writing, sometimes it was because people just weren’t interested in. And that’s okay. Some will be a flop, while others a banger. The key is to not get discouraged and appreciate whatever you got because through those comments you got, there are at least 10 other people who loved it but were too shy to comment. They see you, they’re just a bit nervous. Refine your writing and try again.
Take breaks!! I know you want to write, but if you can’t get yourself to actually write, take a little vacation for yourself and read or scroll through whatever you like. Your mental health is more important than writing.
If you don’t like the scene, don’t write it. You can skip it if you’d like. Think that scene is important to the story? Then re-make it. Make it so you like writing it, because a writer should enjoy writing as much as others enjoy reading.
Don’t overthink things. I guarantee you that adding in something on a whim can and will be taken in many different ways. Symbolism and ideas will be drawn from what you make that you never even thought of. And that’s the joy of posting things publicly. People make you realize things and give you ideas you’d never have thought of otherwise. Be open to changes and don’t feel ashamed if you change something up. Store old drafts away to be used at a later date.
Depends on the person if you plan out your whole story beforehand. Sometimes I think of all the main important beats of a story before writing them, sometimes I only get one single idea from the story down and write on a whim. Write in a way that makes you feel comfortable.
Use italics to show something intense, not caps lock.  Ex: “Dude, what are you DOING?!” Ex: “Dude, what are you doing?” Makes it look neater, in my opinion. If the character is shouting a question, ask yourself if the question or shouting is more pronunciated, which is how you decide if you have a ! or ?
Spell check is only sometimes you friend. Watch what it corrects wisely.
Know your themes and what your going for, but don’t be afraid to stray off-course if it’s working better that why. Look for what inspires you! Song, art, other writings, etc. And if you can’t get anything down, then wait until something comes to you.
I’m afraid I don’t have any technical links, but I hope this was helpful to you! I know you, or at least someone else, has seen this kind of advice before, but I promise it works. And honestly, eventually you’ll get to the point where you don’t even think about it. You just automatically do any of these things, and that’s something very hard to forget.
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bronanlynch · 3 years
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weekly (monthly?) media roundup
ok so I do want to actually do these on some sort of schedule but unfortunately, as you already know, brains,
listening: Malice in Wonderland by Fangbanger, which I found from a tumblr post that described them as band for “if you have a complicated relationship with gender, had a falling out with god, hate the government, or just think that vampires are neat" and y’know? yeah. my notes on this song from several weeks ago are that I might not know any of these people’s genders but I do know they’ve listened to MCR
youtube
reading: the new Cassandra Clare book, Chain of Iron. it’s boring and homophobic. in the first book of this series, we find out that the heroine’s brother is gay and in a relationship with a man who has no intention of ever coming out publicly because 1) the book is set in 1903 in England, it was literally illegal and 2) he’s trying to have a career in politics. the heroine decides that this means he’s ashamed of her brother and doesn’t deserve him, and she is present and active in their breakup conversation.
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above is the relationship chart I made from the first book, it really hasn’t changed much except now the main guy and the main girl are married, the lesbians got back together and then broke up again, the main girl’s gay brother hooked up with one of her husband’s friend, who’s a Good Gay and therefore worthy of love unlike the Bad Gay ex who is constantly mocked by just about every character for. checks notes. caring about appearances and manners given that his life and career are based on those things. the brother and his new love interest break up because the brother still thinks he’s a bad person for ever having dated his ex. also the main girl has now platonically run off to Paris with her husband’s platonic soulmate who is allegedly in love with her but it’s really unconvincing that he’s not actually in love with her husband (he’s not for very stupid lore reasons, the whole ‘parabatai are magically prevented from being romantically in love, except for these two straight people, when historically parabatai pairs were two men’ makes my fucking blood boil)
you might ask why I still read these books even though they make me angry and the answer is the 1) the aesthetic slaps 2) some of the characters are fun 3) the premise has enough potential that it could be good if it was good 4) sometimes I need to get cathartically angry abt bad fiction bc it just. does not matter
watching: so many things that I’m gonna just. run through them real quick
Word of Honor: gestures vaguely at how it’s slowly taking over my blog
Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty: love a found family, eh about the politics, can’t believe I predictably got a new fave character within the last two episodes of the show because one of the main characters is betrayed by his second-in-command and I think treason is the sexiest part of a relationship
SamBucky show: in the original draft of this post I said that it was so boring that week (episode 3) that I completely forgot about it until I saw the draft below this one talking about how bad and boring it is. at least more happened in later episodes and they’re finally giving me some tasty queerbaiting but the premise and the politics are. wow. it sure is military propaganda
My Hero Academia: new season is fun, love a tournament arc. don’t love that they tell us right away that the double agent character is a double agent, it was more fun in the manga when you’re not sure if he’s a traitor or not for a pretty long time
Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun: new season is cute, there sure is some gender happening. there’s a tsundere bisexual catgirl
Backflip!!: I usually avoid high school sports anime for backstory reasons but my roommate wanted to watch it with me and oh boy these gymnasts sure are gay for each other huh
Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood: my roommate pitched this to me as ‘cyberpunk but in the 1930s’ and there sure is dark lighting, lots of glowy neon stuff, and government oppression, which are the most important elements of cyberpunk apparently. not sure how I feel about it yet, because there’s a cool shapeshifting lady assassin with a revenge quest but there’s also a trans character who was revealed to be trans in a way that I personally did not enjoy. yes you can have transphobic villains but like. hmm. maybe the audience shouldn’t find out that someone is trans because the villain cuts his shirt away specifically to ~put him in his place. or maybe I personally am just sensitive to that but either way no thank you
on the other hand, the main character is sick as shit
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The World Ends with You: god I love an anime about the power of friendship. I’ve only had these kids for two episodes and I would lay down my life for them
Nirvana in Fire: we’re only three episodes in and I did spend the first half of the first ep being like. oh god which of these people are actually important who am I supposed to care about here. and then by the end of the first ep I knew which ones I cared about and am now very afraid for their safety. do love the political intrigue though
playing: got through the first mission of Brigmore Witches. I love a good undercover mission, I wish I hadn’t been too afraid of like. alarms going off if I freed the other prisoners because I think Comrade Daud should do a jailbreak, and Lizzy Stride can call me anytime
also recently have played various ttrpgs including Firebrands, more Things, Eldritch and Terrifying, Link, and of course more Beam Saber (oh shit I meant to do my recap post for last session OOPS)
making: Zan and I made some real good chicken parm the other night, vaguely based on this recipe. by which I mean, we looked at the recipe to see how many eggs to use and how long to cook it and pretty much nothing else. the egg marinade step seemed unnecessary and I made the sauce the way I always make tomato sauce, which some day I should write down because it does in fact fuck. the secret is a shit-ton of oregano and basil and no chunks of tomato because fuck that. bad texture
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Zan made the zucchini which also slapped, using some of the leftover bread crumbs
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writing: I’ve posted a couple of things but most recently I wrote some rarepair femslash. this is the first fic for this ship on ao3 and the second ship in the f/f tag for this fandom that’s actually about the women in the show (as opposed to showing up in the f/f tag because it’s marked as “multi” or like. genderbent versions of the main m/m ship) but like. look at them. they’re terrible evil assassin women and they’re in love. anyway I’ve gotten over being embarrassed about having written a sex scene and moved on to wanting people to read my fic. there’s sparring as foreplay it’s a good time
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