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nastyatticman · 1 month
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Little Pig
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Chris Walker x Reader
Warnings: Mention of blood, murder
Words: 1.6K
Summary: You were determined to find out the truth about your husband. Why did everyone lie and tell you that he was dead when he wasn’t?
A/N: I’m trying something completely different from my normal stuff. Hope you enjoy it~
“I’m sorry to inform you Mrs Walker, but your husband is no longer with us. Unfortunately, there was a shooting, and he didn’t make it out alive." 
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nastyatticman · 2 months
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billy lenz x fem!reader | nsfw |
kinktober day 1: breast worship
billy had never felt such a sense of ease in his life.
with how fast his mind raced, and how little quiet time he truly had in his head, he had barely realized how nice it was to be… empty. he was devoid of all thought, and the only thing he was truly focused on was you.
you had him cradled tight to your chest as you both laid in bed. his face was tucked between your breasts, where he gazed up at you with nothing but adoration. your thighs rested at his hips, wrapping snug around them, and his arms were roped around your waist. he clung onto your shirt absentmindedly, fiddling with the fabric between his fingers. you could feel his bulge pressed between your legs, but chose to ignore it for the time being. this moment was just too sweet, despite how sinful it may have looked from the outside.
you stroked over billy’s hair, humming softly. he felt like ooze. he drooled onto your front. being so close to your chest like this made him salivate.
“p-piggy…?” billy whispered, not able to raise his voice above your own sweet tune. he spoke up again, peeking his head out from his hiding spot. “y/n…?”
“yeah, billy…?” you glanced down at him, moving so you could properly see his face. a finger came up to tuck a stray hair behind his ear. his face was already red, his eyes not daring to look directly into yours. he wanted. you could see it, but what he wanted you didn’t know. “what? what’s that face?”
he squirmed against you, and once again you felt his erection drag across your inner thigh. he was restless, but he always was. whenever your skin met his, it was like electricity was running up and down his nerves. he felt so energetic, and yet didn’t want to move, he barely wanted to breathe. if he could suffocate himself between your tits, he would. he wanted to. maybe that’s what he wanted.
“c-can i… b-billy… billy wants your tits in his mouth…” the last word was drawn out, trailing into a wet groan in the back of his throat. his hands gripped at you a bit tighter. “billy wants his slut’s big j-jugs in his mouth. he wants to suck on your big tits, your big cow tits… m-milk them, milk them into m-my mouth!” he rutted hard against you, causing a small squeak to escape you. he mimicked your sound of surprise, before pressing his face into your collarbone, pressing soft, soggy kisses along your flesh. “want it, want billy’s tits, want them… want it, want it…”
“okay, okay… but just sucking. I’m not touching you. I’m comfortable how I’m laying, and i won’t sacrifice my coziness for your fourth round today,” you replied, a small smile dancing on your lips. he thought for a moment, you could see it in the way his eyebrows furrowed, before he nodded in agreement. he took the deal, you were somewhat surprised. “good boy. move back a bit, let me pull my shirt up.”
he hesitated, but slowly slinked his arms away from you. he watched closely as you raised your shirt up to your neck, holding it there and gesturing for him to come back. his movements were quick, as he slid his arms back around you, and swallowed your tits in his mouth.
shocked, you immediately tangled your fingers in his hair, your other hand resting on the small of his back.
he loved this. he loved having your body clinging to his, he loved feeling your warmth seeping through his clothes and down to his core, he loved the way your breasts filled the expanse of his mouth, he loved it all. at first, he opened his mouth as wide as he could, trying to fit all of your tit into his maw. the sounds he made were lewd, his tongue lapping over your skin and his moans spilling out unfiltered into your chest.
he could feel you pressing closer to him. your heart beat was hard against his own, the two nearly falling into rhythm. there was nothing in his mind, nothing but you and the feeling of your hard bud against his tongue.
he pulled away, sliding his lips into a small pucker around your nipple, sucking hard and laughing when you gasped. he bit down, listening close to your sounds, and mimicking them. he would never get it right, your noises were too sweet, too beautiful. he was just a fake, a phoney. you were real, so much realer than he was.
he pulled your sensitive nipple between his teeth. after a moment, he let it go, kissing it with over-exaggerated sounds. his saliva dripped down your front, wetting his own pyjama shirt in the process, but he barely noticed. everything felt warm, floaty in the pleasure. you weren’t even touching him, and yet he felt his cock pulsing hard in his pants.
“b-billy loves your boobs… billy loves it… loves, loves, loves… he loves you… i love you…” he gurgled against your chest.
“i-i love you t-too, billy, i do,” you said, visibly shaken by the worship your breasts were receiving.
he hummed in response, letting you feel the vibrations as he let the same tune you had been performing spill from his throat. he moved, sitting up suddenly, making you roll onto your back. you panted quietly, not even noticing how overwhelmed you had gotten. he clambered up your body, sitting on his knees over your upper torso.
“i-I’m sorry… you don’t have to t-touch, just… let billy… let me use you…” he grumbled underneath his voice, reaching down to squeeze your tits together between his hands. your eyes widened as he slipped his dick between your boobs. you looked up at him, only seeing focus. he immediately began rutting between your tits, panting and babbling dirty talk you couldn’t understand.
you sat there in awe, letting your eyes trail over every detail of the man above you. his face contorted with desperation, his mouth hanging open with drool dripping down his chin. his eyes were stuck to your boobs where he kneaded and squeezed, manipulating them to fit snug around his shaft. his hips thrusted hard into the soft flesh, making a slick sound. he was moaning, whining, his body constantly moving between being lax and jelly-like, to being stiff and rigid.
your hands reached up, settling on his thighs and squeezing them tight. you smiled, leaning up just enough to press a kiss to his tip, the precum there spilling passed and onto your tongue. he gasped at this, whimpering, and looking down into your eyes.
“take what you need, billy. you deserve it,” you purred.
it was enough for him. he continued until he was spurting over your chest and face, shaking and sobbing out to the room around you. he rocked, he convulsed, he trembled until he was completely spent, milked out onto your burning skin. he panted hard. he looked a mess.
“c-clean up, billy… clean up,” he mumbled, and without warning, leaned down and lapped up the cum he had spilled over you. you giggled at the way his tongue tickled your skin.
“good boy! such a good boy, billy,” you cooed, patting the back of his head and pulling him all the way down to your chest.
he settled there, nestling back into your neck and tangling himself in your limbs.
“good… billy’s good…”
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nastyatticman · 2 months
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Billy Lenz headcanons
Here's just a few hcs I have about everyone's favorite attic rat.
He's terrified of loud noises. Screaming or loud parties going on downstairs will have him huddled in the corner covering his ears.
Claude is his best friend. Whenever he raids food from the kitchen when no one's home, he'll always steal a little bit of lunch meat or whipped cream to share. He's always really gentle with him and Claude calms him down enough to sit still.
He's a nervous nail biter. Not just fingernails though, he'll chew on the skin beside his nails until they're raw. He's also a skin picker.
He blacks out during tantrums. He'll get angry or overwhelmed with something and the next thing he sees is the room being completely trashed. He always feels bad about this afterward because he doesn't mean to do it.
He's not a stinky attic man. He actually likes to keep himself well groomed and has to fight the urge to stay in the nice, warm shower whenever the sorority girls leave the house. I feel like he doesn't like messy, gross things and would freak out if he had to touch slime.
If he really likes you, I feel like he wouldn't call you "piggy." Pig is 70's slang for a loose woman and if he really liked you I feel like he would call you a kitty or something. "You're nice like kitty. Billy likes kitty and Billy likes you."
He's a biter. You could be sitting on the couch talking and the next thing you know he's taking a chomp out of your shoulder. It's an affection thing, I promise.
Stims by patting his legs, making little noises and echoing back words or phrases.
Is a huge fan of cartoons. He's Bluey's number 1 fan and thinks Juno is a cunt.
Is hypersexual but also terrified of sex at the same time. If he had to be intimate with someone he'd definitely have the freeze response for the first few encounters.
He sleeps completely curled around you like you're going to turn into dust and blow away if he lets go. He's also like a mini heater so you're either going to have to suffer or deal with sad whining/crying if you push him away. This is probably due to a lot of abandonment issues.
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nastyatticman · 2 months
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You know you're a true slasher fucker if you have a thing for Billy Lenz. You never see this man's full face even once and you only hear him talk through weird ramblings and obscene phone calls but you're still like "yeah, he could stab me and I'd be perfectly ok with that."
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nastyatticman · 3 months
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Could you make a Candyman NSFW alphabet post or smut with him?
Spicy Alphabet: Candyman Edition
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Daniel uses his one hand to massage you down, allowing your body to completely relax. You didn't think it was possible, but he was an expert at giving his one hand massages. Once, you're completely melted, he cleans off any residue and lays beside you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Daniel: His legs. They're long, beefy, and smooth. They are quite powerful.
You: Your hips. It turns him on when they swish side to side as you walk and tease him.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Ejaculates an average amount, but it’s honey?
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He did attempt to control the bees to help a previous partner get off…using the idea of old sex toys that were used by Cleopatra. It did NOT go well. The bees were angry at him, they wouldn't even come when he summoned them! At least he didn’t have to see that sex partner ever again. 
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Yes. He’s been “alive” as a ghost for a long time. Throughout the ages, he would occasionally have some fun with some very willing victims.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Cowgirl
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Neutral. He’s open to laugh and joke flirtatiously, like most older black men do. But, he can be quite serious when he needs to be. 
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Groomed. There’s no way a man dressed like that would not be
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Intimate. The way he takes you down and up, inside and out, wet and messy would be classified as a romantic experience. He leaves you utterly spoiled when he makes love to you.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
It’s quite hard to jack off if one of your arms is missing and then…the bees. So he just relies on sexual encounters with others. If he’s desperate to come, then he will just grind on something and ejaculate at the friction
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Nice fragrances or aromas, voyeurism, cumplay, massages
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Anywhere
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Your smiles, smelling good, flirting with him. Calling him daddy. Dressing up in lingerie under normal clothes.  
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Don’t argue, be mean, dismiss his abilities, or let him see that you’ve been with other people
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Prefers giving. Daniel savors the taste of you with precision. The years of practice show through his tongue.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Slow and hard
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He’s the making love type, so he would rather take his time.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Yes, as long as no one gets hurt.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Moderate. He can last 20 to 30 minutes a session. He can go for 4 or 5 sessions in a day
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
No, manufactured sex materials don’t really do it for him. Rather, he would be prefer to use it on you to see you writhe and grind.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He will verbally tease you as he slowly strokes against your sensitive walls.
"You were talking all that shit earlier, now look at you...my beautiful mess."
"You can do it baby, Daddy's got you. Yessss, feel it on through."
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Moderate. He grunts and has low moans. He’s also a dirty talker
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Since he ejaculates honey, he will lick it up (or have you do so) and spit swap when making out.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
9 inches length. 2 inch Width. 
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Average.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Depends. He entertains fake sleeping beside you, just to be close to you. Once you’re asleep, he will disappear. If you’re still awake, then he will take it as a challenge to put you to sleep.
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nastyatticman · 4 months
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thank u for writing gooseberry x reader i owe u my LIFE
OH no prob!! I have a lot of blorbos but I’m very into Gooseberry and I hope more people write for her too
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nastyatticman · 4 months
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hey:D ‼️ slashers x a femme bimbo reader? i would love michael, tommy, vincent+ bo, and jennifer? (whoever else u choose is fine) please and thank you!
Bimbo S/O Headcanons | Multiple Slashers (18+)
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thank you for requesting, anon!
reader is assumed as being female and a bimbo
there’s no sex described, but there’s a lot of sexual talk around the reader, hence the smut tag
this includes : billy lenz, brahms heelshire, carrie white, jennifer check, michael myers, the sinclair twins & thomas hewitt
minors and ageless blogs will be blocked
my slashers-only blog can be found here!
billy lenz
billy is a pervert by nature and would have sexualised you irrespective of how you acted or what you wore (when there’s a will, there’s a way and all of that)
but you being a bimbo made it all so much easier and so much more enjoyable for the unknown voyeur
it seemed like everything you did have him an erection as he stared at you through cracks in the ceiling and walls and doors
how your short pink skirt would ride up and show your pretty panties whenever you bent over or sat down
how your tight white shirt did little to hide your breasts or the fact that you’d opted to go braless
the way you frequently stumbled and tripped in those pink heels — exposing your ass to him more often than even he could have wished for
all of that was enough of a dream come true, but the moment you picked up the phone and he got a true exposure to your delightfully ditzy and naively trusting persona this man was a goner
you were his dream-girl through-and-through
his pretty piggy who’s only good at taking billy’s thick cock into her dumb holes
his bimbo that has no chance of escaping him or his lewd calls and comments
of course you were his the moment you stepped foot in his house, but you continuously exposing yourself for him (as he perceived it, anyway) just gave him the go ahead to claim you entirely
and you’d best believe that he’ll want you dressing as sluttily as possible at all times
bo sinclair
although he tends to present himself as the perfect southern gentleman at first glance, bo is a verifiable pervert with pretty much no shame
it would have taken a remarkable amount of self restraint for him to keep up the act in front of your group — especially with you looking and acting like that
tight shirt, mini skirt and a body that he just wanted to lose himself in
god it was like you were made for him, but that could wait until he had splintered your group
but until then, he sated himself by glancing down your top whenever you leaned forwards, lifting up your skirt whenever he got the chance and catching you whenever you tripped (getting away with many less-than-innocent touches due to your obliviousness)
his advances get more and more aggressive and obvious as your group is picked off one by one until you’re the only one left untouched and somehow still oblivious to your situation
and bo finds himself torn between keeping you around as an alibi and a good fuck, or just using and discarding you to vincent as he’d done before
in the end, of course, he ends up deciding to let you live whilst putting on a whole show of wooing you so that you think you’re staying willingly — justifying it by saying you’ll help future “tourists” feel at home
but his brothers can tell that he’s grown more than a little fond of your presence (beyond, even, your sex appeal and naïveté — shockingly to all involved, he actually seems to care)
brahms heelshire
you were not what anyone in the heelshire family were looking for when they sought out a nanny
you were clumsy and naive; not being able to do much in education or housework without inevitably messing something up
you were a veritable slut without the intent; with tiny skirts and translucent shirts that could barely even be considered clothing and that certainly weren’t conducive with the image they wanted to present as a family
but, to brahms, you were perfect
the perfectly dainty damsel in distress for him to leer and gawk at from behind the walls as you went about your day hopelessly attempting to abide by his schedule
and whilst you frequently forgot certain rules, he let you off — equally because he knew you weren’t acting intentionally and because he loved watching you too much to let you go
his favourite times of day were those that necessitated you coming into contact with water or bending over because they gave him the most wonderful views of your body that often appeared in his masturbation fantasies
loves the way you coo over and jokingly scold his doll — actually just loves hearing you say his name and talk to “him”
is much more possessive and protective when it comes to anyone bringing supplies to the house because of, well, everything about you
like it’s all well and good having a pretty little thing with nice tits and ass to stare at all day and night, but issues arise when somebody else gets to look at what’s his
and even if you’re too ditzy and naive to recognise the grocery boy’s intentions, brahms is all too aware of what goes on in a man’s head
and he may just take it upon himself to show everyone, including you, what happens when someone touches what belongs to him
carrie white
carrie was brought up in a highly conservative christian background — so, needless to say, your presence itself would be a significant shock to the poor girl
everything about you is a complete upturning of the values she was raised with, from your personality to the way you dressed
god, the way you dressed was sin personified and every time she caught herself staring she’d mutter a quick prayer for forgiveness
tight white shirts, short pink skirts and high pink heels — a recipe for disaster that she found herself drawn to
those miniskirts would so frequently ride up your thighs and expose your tiny pink panties to anyone who dared to look whenever you stalled in readjusting them (though they were always short enough to expose those thighs of yours)
those shirts that would turn wonderfully transparent whenever you got even slightly damp (be that through rain or spillage) and exposed your otherwise bare chest to prying eyes
those heels that were the cause of so many incidents like those above
and, values be damned, she was more thankful for your obliviousness than anything else as she didn’t know what she’d do if you recognised the way her peers leered at you
how she looked at you with so much lust, with eyes that lingered too long to be innocent on your chest and the apex of your thighs and your ass
how she thought of you whenever she touched herself, one hand balled up in a fist that she bit down on to muffle herself whilst the other crept between her legs to toy with her puffy lips and swollen clit and seeping hole
you, in all of your naïveté and clumsiness, were at the centre of all of her fantasies and she wanted nothing more than to keep you in the dark about it all for as long as possible
jennifer check
you and her will almost inevitably end up sharing clothing and/or accessories because your styles match so well
date nights will consist of you sharing skincare routines and doing each other’s makeup
she uses your nature and appearance to her benefit, ramping up her sexuality with you in public to help lure in men for her to kill and feed on
she repays you with plentiful sex, affection and spoiling with money she gets from her “boyfriends”
will shamelessly ogle you whenever you lean forwards or bend over and gets a kick out of flustering you just as much as when she gets away with being a complete perv
gropes you in public like all of the time and usually plays it off as innocent or accidental — would stop if you asked, though
50/50 whether she lets you in on what she’s doing so you can help or strings you along as an accomplice
loves how oblivious you are and gets off on the power dynamic between you and her as the more experienced, dominant partner
buys you the most transparent, slutty, short clothes that she can find for you both so you can match, she can get food, and she can see as much of you as possible at all times
she will shift targets on a dime if she notices someone getting too close to comfort and taking advantage you in the same way she does — and she makes a point to show everyone that you’re very much so taken
makes you wear underwear that she chooses so anyone else ogling you gets a blatant reminder of who you belong to
michael myers (any)
initially michael found your demeanour more annoying and inconvenient than anything else
you were attractive, of course, but your clumsiness and obliviousness just made him frustrated — made him want to stalk you to force you to notice the word around you
and he did. for well over a month
even going into your home and standing over you as you slept, rearranging things in your house, anything to get you to notice that something was up
but you never did
even when he confronted you on your walk home and started following you, very obviously, you just chatted with him as if nothing was wrong and how much of a coincidence it was you were going the same way
you even complimented his mask — which immediately made you more tolerable
and almost made up for the dozen times he’d watched you trip over thin air or otherwise expose yourself to people unintentionally
after a while he even became somewhat protective, targeting people that were sexually aggressive or otherwise weird towards you to get his frustrations out before returning to his routine of stalking you
at one point he began to masturbate to the sight of you — which he’d never been able to do given his life being spent entirely in an institution with no privacy
he takes full advantage of your naïveté to tease and manipulate you, especially after you realise who he is
he just signs that he won’t hurt you if you let him stay with you and don’t tell anyone he’s there
and you oblige
and he doesn’t hurt you
the only real change is having to deal with him shamelessly staring at you all of the time, but after you get together you don’t really mind so it’s not really that big of a deal
thomas hewitt
everything about you seems perfectly engineered to turn this poor man into a flustered, red-in-the-face, 404-ing mess
you’re not exactly what his mother had raised him to look for in a woman but that made you somehow more attractive? like a forbidden fruit in a sense
your high high heels that you constantly tripped over weren’t exactly made for life in their rural town but your confidence in them made him reluctant to have you change
those teeny-tiny shorts and skirts left nothing to the imagination when it came to those smooth, long legs and those brightly coloured thongs you wore and caused him a lot of trouble whenever he caught a glimpse of you and ended up dropping his tools
your thin white shirts that hoyt always managed to get wet somehow were incredibly form fitting and gave him the perfect view of your chest
but whilst your body and sexuality haunted his mind and left him wanting and guilty when he’d reach between his legs for relief at the end of the day — it was your demeanour that captured his heart and endeared him to you
your naïveté kept you up and out of the way of the family’s dirtier dealings and meant they didn’t have to hide anything too hard as you believed whatever they promised to you
he felt bad for lying but he also knew it was a necessary evil
and your clumsy nature meant that any guests felt more at ease around you, joking around and letting their guard down to flirt with you which made his job a whole lot easier
so, needless to say, you were definitely a good investment for the family even if you kept unintentionally torturing poor thomas with your displays of sexuality and femininity throughout the house
vincent sinclair
you immediately caught vincent’s eye when you entered ambrose because of how different you were from your companions
your clothes were more revealing and feminine: all light colours, cropped edges, frills, pastels and the whole nine yards
definitely a far cry from the muted neutrals and heavy jumpers that he usually saw
more artistically inspiring, barbie like even
it made you attractive, certainly, but it also made him want to preserve you as an art piece even more — he wanted to capture your beauty permanently
but then your personality endeared you to him
you were immediately kind and trusting towards his twin, which painted you as a very naïve person but the genuine way you defended him and scolded your friends for interrupting the “funeral” caught his heart
hell, even bo seemed taken a back by your demeanour (before trying to look down your shirt, of course)
and then there was the clumsiness that gave him the perfect view of each and every angle of your body that those short, tight clothes did little to hide as you stumbled and tripped over your heels in the museum
even gentlemen have their limits and, from what he justified as artistic curiosity, he indulged himself in plenty of looks
you even made him chuckle a few times when you apologised to the figures you fell onto
all of it, to him, made you seem so much better than your companions — someone worth saving and keeping as a living art piece in ambrose
it wouldn’t be hard to convince his brothers, they were always talking about needing some company
and, beside, you didn’t strike him as the sort to be hard to lie to
so if you believed your friends abandoned you, maybe you’d be happy to stay with them — and, maybe, you’d never have to learn about the truth of ambrose and it’s wax museum
and he’d get to ogle you all he liked from behind the safety of his mask (only as an artist, of course! he’d never sexualise you… or at least he tries to claim as much to himself)
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nastyatticman · 5 months
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B/W digital ink commission 🖤
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nastyatticman · 5 months
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yes I know he’s really cool in the game but pre Murkoff Leland Coyle as an abusive husband would be so hot -
the duality of him being this upstanding law abiding citizen who’s “just keeping the neighborhood safe”, but he can be absolutely brutal to you in private …
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nastyatticman · 5 months
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You cant tell me im wrong
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nastyatticman · 6 months
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Hey kid, sorry I killed your dad with a huge sword. The cycle of violence is super fucked up isn't it. Hopefully it can stop with you.
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nastyatticman · 6 months
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Eddie Gluskin in Handcuffs
God knows how desperate I was to see him wearing handcuffs...
有参考
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nastyatticman · 6 months
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saw you across the bar and liked your vibe
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nastyatticman · 6 months
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SO.. UM... YEAH.
That's my Bubba headcanon I quess. Big chubby man with definitely some untamed hair and acne/acne scars (dude must be so sweaty under that skin mask his own skin would break out so much for sure) and other little bruises and cuts. Let's not forget the crooked teeth and full ass lips for smoochin~
Also I love the idea of Bubba accualy being one of the most clean members of the family due to him liking to look nice for dinner and other special occasions. I bet he actually likes to take care of himself he just never really had anyone to teach him how to do it properly or just the fact that there are probably more important things to buy with the little money the family have than fancy hygienic products. (They all be using that 13 in 1 type of soap fr) They also definitely have to save water and stuff so... yeah...
So he might be a little sloppy with his self-care (I bet if he shaves he leaves out a little patches of hair here and there >v<) but he is trying his best...
And if you're into Bubba x reader stuff... He would probably try extra hard to look nice for u <3
tee heeee~
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nastyatticman · 6 months
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Call me Little Pig the way Chris Walker has me squealing
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nastyatticman · 7 months
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Saw someone say this on a bubba post was very inspired thank you ily
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nastyatticman · 7 months
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I will elaborate further later but idk I feel like once he gets over his initial nervousness around new people, Bubba would get along really well with the average big chaotic Chinese diaspora family
his own family is pretty chaotic as is, so he’d get it. if he shows up late with you and everyone else is late he’d be so relieved
he’d be unsure what to do with himself upon arriving so if the host asks you both to help set up the dinner table he’d get into a good familiar rhythm with it and get to meet your folks in a more gradual way while moving chairs
he’d like having a chance to show how strong he is, it’s one of the things he’s confident about. good thing too, since your popo will probably want him to come back and help with carrying bags of rice from the store
if he has time he’d probably be shadowing whoever’s cooking in the kitchen, hoping to pick up on how to make your favorite foods.
Only problem is you’d have to tell people in advance he can’t really talk but you could figure out some other ways to communicate. but he’d be grateful it means he doesn’t have to memorize all the ways to refer to relatives in Chinese, phew
it kinda balances things out since if there’s a language barrier of any kind you’d be an interpreter for both him and your family
food wise I think he’d start off with char siu pork and rice (very obvious favorites) but find that he enjoys tofu with pork and glass noodles.
also I think he’d like seeing how the old folks dress. nice pattern clothes, comfortable layers, lots of color. he could spend an afternoon flipping through Chinatown Pretty some time for outfit inspiration. if you got him a floral button up he’d want to wear it next time so he can match
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