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jasminesgardens · 3 years

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Preparation

Set Up

Musical Episode Mechanics

Conclusions and Links

Heavily inspired by the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Musical Episode: Once More, With Feeling, I put together a Musical Episode for my own players that went down beautifully and here’s how you can too!

Preparation:

1. Have your players (whether subtly asked or not, up to you) send you a playlist of songs that relate to their character, their relationships and scenarios they’ve been through in the past. Sort through these songs into “Main Plot” and “Scenarios That Could Happen”.

Prompt Examples from my Musical Episode:

Main Plot: Prologue/Opening Narration, First Song (Morning Sequence), The Whole City is Singing, Figuring Out What is Happening, NPC Karaoke Songs, Player Karaoke Songs, A Call to BBEG, Battle Songs, Reveal of BBEG, Revealing Deepest Darkest Secret, Aftermath, End Credits and After Credits.

Scenarios That Could Happen: Dream Sequences (What Ifs, Foreshadowing or Nightmares), Reflection on their Pasts/Families/Homes, Attraction/First Kiss/Getting Together/Examining the Relationship/WooHoo Moments, How the Party is Seen, Arguments/Make Ups, Praying to their Gods, Positivity/Negativity, Stress/Learning to Relax, Fight Training, Opening Up/Confessing Feelings (Romantic, Friendly, Truthful), Cheering Up, Anger/Protests, Celebration/Drunken Songs, Death Saving Throws and Continuing the Fight.

The playlist is public so just search up DND: The Musical Episode by Princess Jasmine Flies Away.

2. Ask your players, if you haven’t already, for their deepest, darkest secret. The secret they would take to their grave. A secret about their lives or a fear they have could be the prompt. (This is what will be revealed later to the whole Party!)

As I was heavily inspired by the Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Musical Episode, I used the episode to dive board my idea of what my “Main Plot” would be and explore the themes of secrets, speaking your truth and aftermaths. So even after my Musical Episode, my players and their characters were still thinking of what was revealed and what to do going forward with their relationships and themselves. That’s what will make your Musical Episode fun but also thought-provoking and memorable.

Examples from my Musical Episode:

“I’m going to die in six months.”

“I fear I’m on the path to becoming my step-father.”

“I fear my mission from my Goddess is to simply be the sidekick.”

Set Up:

1. Curse your Party.

Example (taken from DNDSpeak and tweaked, warning a little gruesome): I sent my party on a mission to rid the City’s Sewers of the Oozes and Slimes that lived down there as the previous adventurers sent had not returned. While giving hint, and a child NPC who asked them to look, that recently a lot of pets had gone missing in the area around the Sewers.

With every Ooze and Slime encounter, a voice would call out asking the adventurers to leave, getting more and more angry, desperate and threatening as they approached their hiding place.

In this evil Bard’s hidden lair, they discovered the Bard had been stealing pets and using them to make into instruments. Not allowing the Party to leave, they fought and the Bard lost but just before he did, the Bard cursed my party.

The players killed the Bard with fire so all the set up and hints in his lair burnt with him but if they hadn’t, they would have gotten hints of his worship to a certain demon and how he was planning to give his instruments as a gift to them.

I let my party spend the rest of the day doing whatever they liked and waited until the next day for the curse to take affect (which I recommend).

2. Setting Up Music

As I DM on Skype, I used JQBX for everyone to be able to hear the songs at the same time live but you might find other platforms or just be able to bluetooth to the speakers and use Spotify as you play in person (lucky sod).

Then completely shock your friends by awakening them to a performance. Start with a dream sequence or a morning montage or a title sequence! Have fun!

Musical Episode Mechanics:

1. When to Sing:

After the initial shock of the Opening of the Musical Episode, the party will believe the Musical Episode is a curse inflicted on just them (If you’re like me, it isn’t. It’s the whole city because that’s hilarious.) but unaware of when they will start to sing again.

I recommend it every time a party member gets emotional, reaches a perfect opportunity for a scenario song or simply plot development. These songs hint towards characters’ feelings for themselves, other characters, certain scenarios and maybe even their deepest, darkest secret so every time it happens, play the song that incredibly reads them to filth and ask them to roll a constitution saving roll, needing to beat 13. If they fail, write a tally mark for which player and wait for your finale to reveal what for.

I rewarded my players with 10XP each song as it gave them confidence to perform, improv and just get silly!

2. BBEG:

Through researching into what this curse could possibly be, introduce the demon Kacophony the Musical. They’re dramatic, crave entertainment and force people to sing for them with fiery magic, which can lead some of their victims to become Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru in Star Wars: A New Hope. The party will know Kacophony is responsible as you’ll sprinkle in the hints of burnt victims after each Musical Number, the same amount of bodies as the tally marks you’ve been collecting.

Now in my Musical Episode, I put Kacophony the Musical in the place they were cursed. My players went earlier than I would have liked so don’t be afraid to say “not the right time” for Act 3 and help them circle back to there later, after a full day of singing and dancing.

Example: I had a singing woman lead the party back to the Sewers ominously after quite a hearty song.

When discovered, Kacophony is waiting there with their goons for the “cast of today’s musical”, revealing that the person who cursed them gave a huge sacrifice to troll the city with this ridiculous curse, give Kacophony a few souls and to embarrass the party.

Example: My Evil Bard offered all his gruesome instruments and his own life to Kacophony.

Kacophony the Musical will reveal two things.

First, what all the constitution saving rolls have been for. Every failure (a roll under 13) has led to someone’s end aka the burnt victims they have seen throughout the day. Tell your players how many people they have each ended with their rolls and if your party is as morally good as mine, you will have people ready to fight. If not, embarrassing them through song is enough for one.

Which brings me to the second reveal, Kacophony the Musical is a Musical Demon (obviously). Musicals reveal what characters are really thinking to their audience; their hopes, their dreams, their deepest, darkest secret.

Have your party fight this demon only to be unable to not say their deepest, darkest secret to one another (it’s up to you if its based on roll or unescapable), causing a ton of big reveals, suspense and tension, which Kacophony can use as a getaway.

It’s up to you if you want the party to defeat Kacophony the Musical. I didn’t as I preferred the idea of Kacophony being a showman who hides behind their spells and goons, reads the party to filth and then just leaves when it gets boring, leaving them on the mind of the party long afterwards but if you do want your party to defeat them, then make it so.

Kacophony the Musical’s Character Sheet: Inspiration from Rahadin from Curse of Strahd and Cantus by u/Jacknerik

3. The Curse and Aftermath:

Finally, the curse lasts for 24 hours, so when your players awaken the next morning, the curse will be gone but no one will forget how yesterday changed their lives and how flipping awesome your session was.

In the aftermath, my players had a lot of role-play heavy conversations which led them to build up their relationships and their own storylines and a city of people who either were trying to remember the awesome lyrics they sang yesterday or are now afraid of music (possible Footloose inspired sequel adventure).

Conclusion:

Either way it was a lot of fun and certainly went down as one of my best sessions as a DM.

Thank you so much for reading, my name is PrincessJasmineFliesAway on everything else and my credentials in DMing can be described as Wizarding World 2.0, Shifting into the Star Wars Sequels and Barbie Mermaida the Campaign. Goodbye.

#dnd5e #dnd #dnd 5e homebrew #dnd 5e campaign #dnd storytime #dndstories #dnd ideas #dnd musical episode #jasmines gardens dnd ideas

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seungsilog · 3 years

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Dear Someone, I’ll Be Better Off Without You.

Pairing: Female!OC x Lee Minho

Genre: Angst, College!AU

Word Count: 1.16k words

Warnings: mentions of someone in a slump(?), insecurities, breakup

Series Masterlist

Taglist: @puffyjisung (send me an ask or dm me if you want to be added!)

Good morning, afternoon, evening, whatever time you’re listening to this! Welcome to the podcast, where I, Han Jisung, your host — speaking of, should I find a DJ name for myself too? Like, that one podcast has DJ Joohoney right? I should think of something for myself.

Anyways, continuing on! This episode, a letter has been written by our Music Director, Ina! I won't make this too long, as this episode might get too long. I asked for a letter, not a novel. If only you guys can see this, holy crap. It's like 3 pages back to back, oh my gosh. I would read this all on air but it would take ages, so we just shortened the letter and might just publish this letter on our website! I doubt you would be able to read Ina's chicken scrawl, though— ok geez, I'll start! Stop looking at me like that!

Dear Someone,

I'm better off I’ll be better off without you.

Do you remember when we first met? It was freshman year, during the university's festival. You weren't as confident back then, sticking to your group of friends most of the time. The only time you left their side was when they convinced you to talk to me after they saw you sneaking a peek at me. Looking back now, I cringe thinking about our origin story, but freshman Ina thought it was cute. So cute, in fact, that I let you take me out on a date the day after. And even though you spilt soda on me five minutes into the date, the giant stuffed cat and the shy peck on the cheek made it all better.

Fast forward two years, and you managed to weasel your way into my life. You became my best friend, my lover, my anchor all in one. College life was hard, but the assurance that you would be sitting in our spot in the coffee shop on campus, waiting with my favorite drink fueled me to get through my day.

But as many positives there were with you, the negatives were also there.

I became too comfortable. I stood only within the confines of my little bubble consisting of schoolwork and my relationship with you. Everything was just the same, repeating day after day, and it took a toll on me. I made my whole life revolve around you, and somewhere along the line, I forgot that there is more to life besides those two things.

I never really improved from who I was when I entered college, but you certainly have. No longer were you the timid, puffy-faced boy I met back then. You’ve come so far, becoming one of the most confident, talented people this school has ever produced, and I can’t help but feel proud every time I realize that.

Sadly, I can’t say the same for myself.

I love you. I love you so much, Lee Minho. Thank you for always being there, for the past two years. I’ll always be proud of you, but I need to take some time to improve myself so that hopefully, i can be someone you can be proud of too. This self-improvement journey of mine might take some time, but as my mother used to say, if we are truly meant to be together, destiny will find its way to bring us together once again. See you around, I guess.

Forever grateful,

Ina.

P.S. I think I used the wrong phrase on my keyword, so I erased it aha. I started this letter in spite... so yeah. I’m not sure if I really will be better off without you, but I guess only time will tell.

Han Jisung’s voice floated through the earbuds and into Lee Minho’s ears as he sat in an armchair, eyes filled with unshed tears. He hadn't known she felt that way towards herself, and if only he had communicated with her better-

He cuts off his inner monologue after seeing a familiar face approach his table.

“I take it you’ve listened to Jisung’s new podcast episode, hyung?” Hwang Hyunjin, with his freshly dyed black hair, takes a seat in front of Minho, ignoring the older’s protests and settling down with his croissant and iced americano. “Come on, hyung. You can talk to me about this. We’ve known each other for ages!”

“And by ages, you mean half a year?”

“Tomato tomato. It feels way longer. I think being coped up in a studio with each other has that effect.”

“... Touche.”

“ So? How do you feel?” the younger boy inquires, taking a sip from his americano.

Minho took a while to respond, thinking of words to properly describe how he felt at that moment.

“If I’m being honest? I don’t have a clue either. It’ll take a lot for me to get over Ina.” After taking a sip of his own drink, he continued. “Two years, almost three isn’t a short time. It was through her that I became who I am today. It was because of her, that I strived to become a better person. It was because of her that I was able to grow, but..” A soft sigh escaped his lips.

“But at the cost of my growth came her dullness.” Hyunjin made a noise of confusion, muffled by the bread stuffed in his mouth. “Woft dwoh yu mean, hyunf?”

“The thing that really drew me to her that day was just how… vibrant she was. Well, she was standing below a streetlight, but really. It sounds cliche, but if only you could’ve seen her. Wearing a bright yellow shirt, talking excitedly about how fun this experience was going to be. She was truly the light of the party back then, well, college happened. We’re all busy, but they were especially. Even Channie disappears for days at a time coped up in his room to finish a project. He only got a significant other this year! Ina barely had any time to do anything else aside from meeting me and doing schoolwork. I guess she realized that, and uh, yeah. That brings us here.” Minho looked up at Hyunjin, only to see him invested in something on his phone.

“ Yah, why did I even bother telling you.”

You see, dear listeners. Sometimes, relationships don’t turn out the way we want it to go. We think entering a new thing will all be sunshine and rainbows, and it might lead to an ultimatum; having to choose between self-gratification and self-improvement. In Ina’s case, she chose to leave not because she lost feelings, because that’s definitely not the case- ouch! When will you stop throwing things at me? But yes, she chose to leave because she wanted to grow, wanted to get herself out there for a bit, just as hyung had done. That does not mean that all hope is lost for them, though. Maybe someday, when the both of them are ready, their romance will continue again.

-`, leri’s litol notes

here is the second installment! ;-; i hope you guys like it hehe

#districtninewriters #stray kids imagines #lee know #lee know imagines #lee know angst #stray kids angst #stray kids ff #skz imagines #skz fics #dear someone universe

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msgrumpygills · 3 years

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So I’m kind of new to the fandom. I’ve been casually watching the show for a couple years now but only recently got into the fandom side. And I have to say, never in my life have I seen so much drama and toxicity in one place. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m enjoying the drama though lol.

Before I start though, I personally believe you can make anyone sound problematic if you try hard enough, we’ve all done and said stupid things, but when you decide to become famous you should be ready to be held accountable for the smallest things, not saying it’s right. It’s just how things are unfortunately.

So far I’ve decided that I just don’t like Jared and Danneel,did you know she used the same bullying tactics that Jared has used? I saw a screenshot from her story where she called someone out for... being mean to her? I can only hope the poor girl is ok after her dms were most likely flooded with angry stans. And she just seems so tacky, it’s really obvious if you take a look at her tweets from a decade ago, this woman does not have the potential or capacity to be any kind of famous.And honestly I think one of your anons were right about J2 being trumpies, especially Jared, I was looking for dirt on him and the guy said in a tweet that cracker is a slur? So far everyone I’ve met who had those kind of ideologies turned out to be somewhat of a racist so idk. As for Jensen, he seems to be a bit smarter in the sense that he knows when to stay quiet, but I think he’s probably the same as Jared. I think I remember him making a joke right alongside Jared when he was making that chloroform rape joke. And I think he said the N-word in his last panel with Jared? I think it was a fan’s name. I’ve been told he got the name right the first time and then practically said the N-word the second time around. I do think J2 are closet republicans who are trying to seem progressive because that’s what sells these days.

And Gen, she just seems so... uninteresting? Like I have no desire to know anything about her, unlike the others. But your blog helped out a bit with that. I still think she’s boring and uninteresting lol. I honestly think she should’ve just tried to get a role without Jared’s help. It probably would’ve been real hard, but earning a role through nepotism will not help her career if she decides to ever have one again. But then again, I remember thinking her acting paled in comparison to Katie Cassidy’s, who also played the character Ruby the season before Gen came along. So good luck to her I guess lmao.

So far the only one I’m unsure about is Misha? I mean you’ve got the hardcore Jared stans and the hardcore Misha stans, from what I’ve seen, both sides are extremely biased, and frankly, they all look like idiots from the outside, and they both have completely different beliefs. But you seem to be a bit more level headed, so I thought I’d ask you,tell me all the dirt. What are some of the shitty things he’s done? And I’m sorry this got so long.

The Supernatural fandom is one of the worst fandoms to be in. One of the big reasons that I stopped watching the show was because of the fans, I’ll be honest. But yeah, it is kinda fun to watch the drama, as long as you’re at a distance and safe!

I absolutely agree that anyone can be problematic. Hell, if I became famous and people found my old tweets or Facebook posts, even Tumblr posts, I’d probably be “cancelled” or called out. I’m not a terrible person, but we’ve all been young and dumb and we’ve all been embarrassing, that’s just part of life.

Danneel has absolutely been a bitch, there’s really no nice way of saying it. Fans have had horrible experiences with her in real life too. I think if she was more active on social media again, she’s still be showing her true colors, but she’s not active really. I do remember Jared’s “cracker” controversy and like....I try not to be political, but really dude? I’m white and I don’t consider cracker to be racist or a slur. It’s ridiculous to me? I’m no History major, but I don’t recall people using cracker to describe white people who were considered “lower than” others.

Jensen is overall a lot smarter than Jared, but he has made mistakes still. The difference is that Jensen apologizes, he holds himself accountable, and he changes his behavior to make sure that he doesn’t make those mistakes again. No one is perfect, but at least Jensen can own up, take responsibility and change. Jared....well we know Jared.

Gen is....well you said you’ve seen my blog, and there are other “antis” here who can shed even more light. She’s uninteresting but thinks she’s the bee’s knees.

Don’t be sorry about the message getting long! I’m famous for being long-winded, so you’re among friends!

Misha is......Misha. His fans are absolutely insane (I know there are some normal ones) so any sort of negative backlash against him is usually buried. I’ve made a few posts about him and why I stopped really being a fan of his, but I will try to summarize!

I started getting kind of turned off to him around the 2016 election because he was bombarding social media with politics and I just wasn’t there for it. A lot of fans came after me for that but that’s their prerogative. I actually started seeing some anti posts on here and went down a rabbit hole of things that I’d looked past or didn’t know about that all mounted up. Some of those things are; (I don’t have links for everything because the one blog that had compiled everything together isn’t active anymore, but someone might have screenshots!) Also in no particular order!

Misha admitting to leering at kids at a playground while preparing for his role in Karla.

Having his young female fanbase send him pictures of themselves only wearing cheese bikinis or kale swimsuits, etc. for GISHWHES. I know some people think “it’s just a goofy scavenger hunt” but if it wasn’t Misha Collins, would you want your barely legal sister sending pictures of her only wearing cheese to a 40 something year old man?

His constant blatant disrespect for Jensen and his aversion to Destiel, his baiting of the fans and complete abandonment of Jensen when he gets the backlash.

He baits the Destiel fans to the point of them making Jensen uncomfortable, then when Jensen puts his foot down, the fans attack him harshly. Where was Misha for that? Silent. Even though he was the one who eggs everyone on.

Being rude, sexual, and otherwise inappropriate in front of children at conventions. I know fans will say “it’s not his responsibility to monitor kids!” but the fact that he continues to act like that while knowing there are kids in the audience is weird. I wouldn’t be making sexual jokes or being lewd in front of kids, that’s gross.

His whole “charity” act that is really just him profiting from his “kindness” acts and his GISHWHES hunts. Pretty charitable of him.

The fact that he uses Stands to push baiting merchandise onto fans with no regard to how Jensen feels, just to make a buck. (In addition to that, he doesn’t reign in the Stands staff who are horrible to fans and customers.)

I’m sure that there’s more, but that’s all I can think of at the moment! Hopefully that sheds some light! I try not to be too biased either way, but with some of the things it’s hard not to.

#grumpy answers #misha collins #jared padalecki #anti genevieve #Anonymous

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starlocked01 · 4 years

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I Know the Stars Will Start to Fade

AO3 @tsshipmonth2020

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary- Roman was born with three soul marks but now has only one. He doesn't want to ruin his last great chance for happiness but finds his final soulmate, Logan, isn't what he expected. And neither is he what he expected of himself.

Day 10 LAMP (Platonic Logince focused, Romantic Moxiety)- Soulmates are born with matching soul marks

Roman was starting to feel desperate. He had been born with three different soul marks but now was left with one. He really couldn't blame Patton or Virgil for getting upset with him. Somehow this was his fault.

The soul marks had been beautiful. Three shields with different intricate patterns inside. One had a castle overshadowed by a storm cloud. That one had matched Virgil’s. One had a heart floating in a broiling sea. That one had matched with Patton's. The last showed a brain at the foot of the mountains with a field of stars above. He hoped whoever this brain matched to would be the one who lasted and stuck around.

He'd met Virgil on an online forum for people with multiple soul marks. They hadn't talked much but Virgil went by st0rmcl0ud online and had described a soul mark that sounded remarkably similar to Roman’s. So he reached out in DMs and they swapped photos of their marks and then phone numbers and at Roman's insistence planned to meet up. He was already head over heels for his soulmate and giddy with excitement to meet Virgil in real life. Virgil and Patton had found each other through a dating app. Virgil recognized the heart shield as matching one of Patton's marks and had introduced the two of them as well.

For the first month, it was wonderful. Roman had never been so enamored, so certain of a future together with these two. It felt wonderful and nerve-wracking and exciting and passionate and everything the fairy tales had promised love would be.

They went on dates and got to know each other better. Roman went from infatuated to admiring his soulmates. He still put forth the full effort to love them but his heart wasn't behind it the way it should have been.

The stormy castle started to fade. He loved- no- cared for his two soulmates deeply. But the mark started to fade. Roman’s grand romantic vision of the future started to settle into something more friendly and domestic. He hid his soul marks, not wanting to upset either of them.

The stormy castle faded completely and the heart in the ocean was beginning to dull in color as well. Roman loved going on dates because it made his friends happy, but he felt no happier than if they had a quiet movie night at home together or spent the night video calling each other.

Roman had been frustrated, because Virgil and Patton were still head over heels for each other, in their own ways of course. Why didn't he feel that romantic spark that had pulled them all together?

One day, the heart in the ocean faded completely. Roman was terrified to tell his soulmates that the marks were gone. He was even more frightened by the realization that he didn't really love them the way they loved him and each other. He absolutely cared for Patton and Virgil with his whole heart, but the romantic vision was gone. He wanted them in his life but the idea of dating twisted his gut in the most unpleasant way.

Virgil noticed first. Roman didn't think it was possible to see the man any paler than his normal complexion.

"You lied to us…"

"No, they disappeared. They were there. They were real!"

"How do you expect me to believe that, Roman," Virgil's eyes were clouded with fear and pain. Roman couldn’t meet his gaze any longer and looked away.

"Why would you-"

"I don't know! I- you're my soulmate, Virgil… I don't know why our mark disappeared."

Virgil shook his head and pulled out his phone, dialing from memory.

If Virgil's anger had been difficult, Patton's disappointment was worse. His sad eyes bore into Roman’s soul and he couldn't even soften the blow by blaming Roman.

"Roman, do you not want us?" Roman's heart crumbled at the question.

"Patton, of course, I-"

"He was never our soulmate, Pat! I don't know how but he lied to us," Virgil hissed, pulling Patton back away from Roman.

"Guys, please listen to me," Roman was on the verge of tears.

"Yeah, Virge. I'm sure there's an explanation here that we aren't seeing. Roman, you still love us, right?"

Roman couldn’t help it. He balked and that sealed his fate. The moment Patton's heart broke was embedded in his memory, unlike the disappearing soul marks.

That was a week ago. And here he was, riding the bus to rehearsal as though his emotions weren't in shambles, one chance left to find happiness.

"Excuse me, sir? May I see your soul mark?" Roman turned to the unfamiliar voice and saw the hottest man he'd ever met giving him a difficult to decipher look.

Roman already had names picked out for the dogs they would adopt together.

"Ah, sure," Roman held out his arm and the stranger leaned down to inspect it. After a moment he pulled the sleeve of his jacket up and held up an arm with three familiar marks up to Roman's, "it's you! The brain…"

The stranger cleared his throat and pushed his sleeve back down, "yes. It appears we are soulmates. My name is Logan Crawford. What is yours?"

"Roman Prince," Roman replied breathlessly. He felt like he was on cloud nine and had his final chance.

"Well, Roman, I suppose you'll want to be in contact. Although, I must warn you that I am a disappointing soulmate and refuse date," Logan had pulled out his phone and was handing it to Roman.

"What do you mean 'disappointing'?" Roman frowned more in confusion than any negative feeling for Logan.

"I suppose you'll find out anyway. I am romance-repulsed. Even as one of my soulmates I won't date you or the others. Most everyone tells me that I will be a disappointment for you three but frankly, I know my boundaries and refuse to change them."

Roman stared at his final soulmate. He hadn't expected this. He took the offered phone and plugged in his number, taking a quick selfie for the contact photo.

"Well then, Logan, let's agree to just talk. Have you met Patton or Virgil?" Roman was met with an indifferent look that lacked any recognition.

"No, I have not. Have you?"

"Yes and I don't think you'd like them…" Roman said bitterly.

"Do you think I dislike you, Roman?" Logan said with the most emotion Roman had heard from him yet.

"No, I didn't mean that," Roman stammered, "I- I just meant that they're… very romantic. And I thought I had 'hopeless romantic' cornered!" Roman laughed to hide his discomfort.

"Wait, but you only had one soul mark. How did you meet them?" Logan asked with curiosity.

"My stop is coming up, perhaps we save the tragic backstory for another time?" Roman grinned as the bus rolled to a stop a block from the theater, "call me!" He rushed off the bus before Logan could respond, bewildered by the chance meeting with the handsome stranger.

Over the next few weeks, Roman and Logan texted and met up for coffee a few times. Roman was terrified of pushing things too fast and watched the soul mark on his arm constantly for any sign that it was fading. Logan never asked about the other two soulmates so Roman decided to not talk about them. He was still hurt but they had to be happier without him.

"So, Roman, you never told me the tragic story of how you met Patton and Virgil," Roman nearly spit out his tea.

"Do you really want to know, dear?" Logan bristled at the nickname but nodded.

"Well," Roman recounted the events of how they met and started seeing each other almost casually. He slowed down as he got to the part where the soul marks started fading. Logan encouraged him to continue but he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.

"Roman, did they hurt you?"

Roman shook his head no, not meeting Logan’s eyes.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Logan asked gently, resting his hand on Roman’s across the cafe table. Roman felt a metaphorical shock at the physical contact. He wanted a romantic connection with Logan so badly sometimes that the other’s staunch refusal to date felt like an arrow to the heart.

"My soul marks disappeared," Roman whispered, "and I couldn't promise them I was still in love, so they left."

"Disappeared? How unusual. Did they match before disappearing?" Roman looked up, surprised by the reaction. Logan just opened a new tab on his laptop and started searching a few keywords, "what? You know I don't care for sentiment. But soul marks that aren't permanent is a fascinating concept. And you say you fell out of love when the marks disappeared? Was it sudden overnight?"

"N-no… actually the marks- and the feelings- faded over time. About a week, really," Roman sighed, "actually, Logan I need to confess-" Roman pulled up the sleeve of his jacket to reveal his last soul mark, "-yours started fading a few days ago. The colors aren't as saturated as before."

Logan looked down at the mark, "and how do you feel about me? Regardless of my stance on the matter."

Roman sucked in a long breath, "I…. Honestly, I've been in love with you from that day on the bus. But I respect your boundaries and I wasn’t going to push it and as we have been talking and getting to know each other, I really value you as a friend as well. I'm still a little hopelessly over the moon about you but it's not like when we first met."

"Fascinating, it seems the intensity of your soul mark is directly proportionate to your capacity for romantic attraction. One moment," Logan turned back to the laptop and after a moment turned the screen to face Roman, "does this sound like you?"

The word and definition almost popped off the screen at Roman. Frayromantic - an aromantic spectrum identity where one feels an intense romantic attraction to strangers that fades as they get to know the person

"Yes…" Roman took a sip of tea to try and calm his swirling thoughts.

Logan turned the laptop back around and did another search. He read for a moment before reading aloud from the screen, "other frayromantics have experienced fading soul marks. Some say that the marks came back after they realized and recognized their identity or came to terms with their soulmate about it. Others never had the marks come back naturally but rather decided to get them recreated. Or they decided they didn't want the marks and carried on markless, with or without their soulmate."

"So I'm not broken, it's happened before? The marks could come back? It's not wrong to not love my soulmates romantically?" The questions spilled from Roman’s mouth before he could stop them.

"I'd actually prefer if you would hurry up and get over your crush on me, thanks," Logan said with a smirk.

Roman held back a snort of laughter. He was feeling immeasurably better.

Roman was glad he had kept Patton's phone number. After discussing it with Logan, he decided to reach back out, hoping Patton would be understanding and could encourage Virgil to be as well.

The phone rang and rang. Roman started to sweat. Logan was preoccupied with personal research but he offered a comforting hand on Roman’s shoulder. Roman was glad for his friend's support, the soul mark a faint but distinct outline anymore. It had never fully disappeared even as Roman’s crush had evaporated.

Roman was ready to give up when the line connected, "Roman?"

"Patton! Oh, thank the stars you picked up. Do you have time to talk? If not now, maybe we can meet up?" Roman grinned happily.

"Why? I thought we weren't… " Patton trailed off.

"Pat, two things. One, I figured out why the soul marks faded. Two, I found Logan. We can all know each other and work things out because despite what Virgil said, we are soulmates," Roman waited with bated breath for the response.

"Hold on a second- Virgil!" Patton pulled the phone away from his mouth as he called out. Logan squeezed Roman’s shoulder to comfort him.

"Yeah, Pops? What's up?" From what Roman could hear it sounded like Virgil had just woken up, at 3 in the afternoon. What followed was a muffled conversation from which Roman could only pick out a few words.

"Okay, Roman. Can you and Logan meet us for dinner tonight?" Patton asked brightly.

"Logan, how does dinner tonight sound?" Roman grinned as Logan nodded, "sounds great, Pat. Where do you want to meet?"

"You two should come on over here about 7, alright? Awesome, see you soon!" Patton ended the call, mind already bustling with plans to get ready for dinner.

"Roman, please don't try to speak for me tonight," Logan smiled nervously as Roman parked the car.

"Of course not. I know you can handle yourself," Roman replied.

"Yes, I just worry that you're going to try too hard to be what Patton and Virgil want, not who you are. I like you and respect you for who you are and they will too if they're smart. But in the all too likely case that you can't help trying to be a people pleaser, at least let me establish my own boundaries."

Roman gasped, "do you have so little faith in me?"

"Yes," Logan grinned and stepped out of the car. Roman started chuckling and both were smiling as the front door of the apartment duplex opened.

"Roman. And I guess that makes you Logan. Come on in, I guess," Virgil was as dour as ever as he showed them to the living room, "Patton says dinner should be ready in a few minutes so make yourselves at home."

"Virgil, it's so good to see you! I've missed your pale, crabby face," Roman grinned although Virgil did not seem amused.

Logan held out his hand, "it's nice to meet you, Virgil."

Virgil stared at the offered hand and poked it with his finger, "Nice to meet you too, Logan."

"Are they here? V, why didn't you tell me?" Patton came bustling from the kitchen and immediately wrapped Roman in a tight hug, "oh it's been too long! How ya doing, Prince?"

Roman grinned and hugged Patton back, "better now, that's for sure."

"Ah, and you must be Logan, come on in buddy!" Patton turned to offer Logan a hug.

"No, thank you. I'd rather not," Logan tried to wave Patton off.

"You sure?" Logan nodded, "Okay, dinner is almost done and we've got so much to talk about!"

Roman helped Virgil set the table while Logan followed Patton into the kitchen to help with the final preparations.

The conversation was light as they ate until Virgil asked the question no one else was bringing up.

"So Princey, why did the soul marks disappear?"

Roman took a deep breath. He could feel Logan’s hand on his knee under the table and was grateful for his soulmate’s support once again. "Virgil, Patton, I have discovered that I am frayromantic. I know that word doesn't make sense, but hear me out," he proceeded to explain, talking about how he had truly loved them when they met, and still wanted to care about them now. He even showed them the faded soul mark that matched Logan’s, explaining that it never faded completely because they had come to an understanding with each other about their relationship. He didn't bring up that the soul marks could come back, not wanting to give them undue hope or misguided ideas about his emotions. By the time he was done explaining, Patton was smiling with tears in his eyes and Virgil was nodding.

"Mark or not, I still want you in my life," Patton sniffed and reached across the table to take Roman’s hand, "we can work out the particulars later."

"Ah, Roman, I'm sorry. I was wrong to accuse you and I can't imagine how much that must have hurt you," Virgil spoke just above a whisper.

Roman nodded, "thank you, Virgil. I'll consider forgiving you."

"That's fair-"

"Consider it done!"

"Oh- kay thank you," Virgil chuckled.

"So Logan, why is tonight the first time we're meeting you?" Patton smiled at the stoic man.

"Simply put, I wasn’t seeking out my soulmates. I happened upon Roman by chance. I want to make it clear that I am not interested in dating any of you," Logan spoke with confidence. Roman was proud of him, returning the comforting hand on his knee gesture.

"Wait you two aren't dating?" Patton asked, confused.

"No. We are not dating. I am aromantic and romance-repulsed. I want nothing to do with mushy, complicated romantic emotions. However, and I hope Roman doesn't mind me saying this, I do consider him my best friend," Logan coughed, "and I actually wanted to talk with you later about a platonic partnership," Roman was surprised to hear this but more surprised by the blush on Logan's cheeks.

"Yeah, we can talk about that later, Lo. I definitely think you're my best friend as well."

"Wow, so… being soulmates isn't going to be easy for any of us," Virgil murmured.

"But we'll all work it out together!" Patton finished the sentiment, clasping his boyfriend's hand in his and smiling at the two soulmates across the table.

The soul marks that had faded completely never came back on their own. After a few years together, Roman decided to get them tattooed back on, asking the artist to match the intensity to Logan’s mark. The three faint marks helped reassure Roman that he was who he was and that he didn't need to change that to love his soulmates just as much as he could.

#Soulmate September 2020 #tsshipmonth2020 #arospec roman #aromantic logan #fray!roman #frayromantic character #platonic logince #moxiety #logince #lamp/calm #soulmate au #this was incredibly self-indulgent

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rnegitsune · 4 years

Text

Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.

I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.

Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one

After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.

One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.

Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it

The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.

Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???

He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.

Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.

The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.

Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.

Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.

I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.

So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.

#babymetal #don't mind me #this is long ok

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avpdvoidspace · 3 years

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so...i’m not super sure how to describe this, but i’m worried about something i tried last night with a friend of mine. i was having a breakdown, and generally during these i respond really negatively to comfort/reassurances—like, insulting and yelling at people who try to do it levels of negatively. that’s obviously not good for people who just want to help. on the other hand, bottling it up or not having anyone respond when i am having a breakdown (this is all over discord, probably should’ve. mentioned that earlier), while it doesn’t make things go Completely sideways most of the time, makes it last longer (before i had this breakdown, i had been feeling generally shitty for most of the week). yelling at people tends to make me tired and i go numb for a couple days before going back to normal, but for obvious reasons no one really wants just sit there while i yell at them.

back to the original situation, i brought up this whole Thing with my mind during breakdowns, and one of my friends offered to let me lash out at them and everything (in dms as opposed to the vent channel in a server this was happening in), and i took them up on the offer. they never seemed upset while i was yelling at them and calling them names and shit, and at some point i got tired and went to sleep.

logically i know that my friend was okay with me doing this, and we were doing it in private, and they told me that they knew i didn’t mean any of what i was saying (i didn’t mean any of it, but obviously i shot this down in the moment), but...i still feel bad about doing all of this. i don’t know if this is healthy or not (even though to me it doesn’t really matter), and i. guess that’s what i’m asking?

sorry for the wall of text

That's really hard for me to say. I think there could be healthy ways to act that kind of scenario out in like a roleplay kind of situation where both of you know it's not real and you're exploring feelings and reactions in a fictional setting. But I think maybe if this is in earnest at least on the level of it's really you really lashing out against them, even if you had agreed on it, it might not be a great idea. And like of course I'm not a professional, so this is just my opinion, but if it were me, I'd be worried about two things. One, am I reinforcing a behaviour in myself that is going to hurt myself or other people, intentionally or unintentionally... And two, what is the other person's motivation for offering that? Are they getting something out of it and not being upfront about that? Are they using this as a form of self harm and not being upfront about that? In either of those two situations, they may be, in a weird way, undermining your consent. Not saying they're doing that, but I have to wonder why they'd offer that to you. I think above all else, the fact that you're open with this being something that you do is a good thing. Tell people in your life that this is something you do because I assume your goal is to not hurt people, and it can help you hold yourself accountable if you're upfront about it. And then I'd suggest creating an outlet for yourself for this that is safe and removed from real relationships. Either by roleplaying it with someone who's down for that, or writing down what you would say when lashing out at someone else and then going back and looking at what you wrote later. I think a lot of times the things we say when we're in pain can tell us a lot about our needs if we go back and think about them when we're calm. I hope that helps, and thanks for the ask, anon!

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disaster-fruit · 4 years

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Hey, I've always wanted to write trans characters, but being a cis person myself, I don't know how. Do you know some tips and things I should avoid?

Hello, I can give some tips sure, but also I fully recommend you read this post goes in detailed about how to write trans people, and I wholeheartedly agree with it. There’s also plenty of other posts by trans people about how to do that, the more you read, the better, since there is not a single “trans experience” and there are thousands of ways to approach it! And also, I’m just one person, my opinion cannot possibly reflect the opinion of all trans people, and I’m sure there’s plenty who might disagree with me and that’s fine! But here’s some of my basic thoughts:

1) Write a trans character…. As you would write any character!

Trans people are full people, with interests and motivations and passions, and things that though can be shaped by our experiences as trans people, are not defined by them! Making all your characters insecurities about gender dysphoria (which is something not all people experience and certainly not in the same ways) for example, is limiting, and not very realistic. There’s really not a lot about writing trans people that should feel different or specially difficult compared to writing cis people.

2) Don’t call attention to their transness in your narrative.

Basically, don’t go on your paragraphs making comments about how your character might be trying to pass/failing to pass/thinking about passing/etc. That again tends to go on a direction of defining trans people solely by the fact that we’re trans. Describe them as you would any other character, let them talk like any other, have their thoughts and emotions like any other

3) Research about bad stereotypes, and avoid them. – this one is self explanatory

4) Don’t make it about our pain.

A lot of the bad examples of trans rep I see tend to really focus on oh how hard and how sad and how tragic it is to be trans, usually relying on things like the whole “wrong body” idea and other harmful ideas. And yeah a lot of trans people can experience a lot of pain, both from dysphoria and from transphobia, but it’s not pain that defines us, and there’s more to ~the trans experience~ than pain. Let your trans character have complex emotions and feel joy and pleasure, even about the fact that they’re trans, because its not a negative thing to be trans. It can bring negative things because our society is transphobic, but it’s not inherently tragic neither should it be for your character.

5) “Every cis person accepts the trans person better than themselves”

I’ve seen this a few times and it’s something that makes me really really annoyed, and I usually only see it in narratives written by cis people. Basically a trans person will constantly doubt themselves and not see themselves as their gender, but all the cis people around them will insist that they are their gender no matter what, like all a trans person needs is validation from cis people, and like cis people are oh so woke and understanding and it’s the trans person who needs to learn to love themselves !! And like, it’s ok if you have a cis person reassuring your trans characters at a moment of insecurity, but keep in mind that trans people don’t need validation from cis people, and that we are not, most of the time, the problems in our lives – its transphobes.

6) Don’t have just one trans character!

Trans people find each other, sometimes through the weirdest ways! It’s not uncommon, at least in my experience, for trans people to come out at some point just to find out their best friends or significant others are also trans, even though some cis people live their entire lives without meeting a single trans person. I don’t know why this happens, but having a trans person not knowing a single other trans person, not even on the internet? That’s very unlikely, just like how having One Gay Friend in a group of friends is unrealistic. On that same note, trans people date each other too, all the time! Ive seen cis people thinking trans ppl Only want to date cis ppl, when in reality trans love can be an incredibly beautiful and healing thing, so don’t be afraid to have trans people fall in love in your story! – and to fall in love like any cis couple would. Being trans might give them another layer of connection, but as always, don’t let it define it. (And the same goes from cis people dating trans people!)

In summary, write a trans character as a character, first and foremost. Remember that there are thousands of trans experiences, that those experiences can shape us but don’t define us, that there’s more than pain in our lives! Most of the things I didn’t cover here are in the post I linked in better detail, by someone who’s not only trans but also writes a lot about trans characters (which I unfortunately don’t), so again, I heavily recommend you read that, and more! And if you have more specific questions, don’t be afraid to drop another ask or dm me, I’ll be more than happy to help.

#ask #tw transphobia #tw gender dysphoria

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aiikawarazu · 3 years

Text

Hourglass Chapter #20

Title: Singularity

Rated: M

Summary: Again, Mikasa saw the strange dream that she used to see before Eren transferred to her school. She wasn’t sure what it meant, but Eren told her a secret about her dreams that left her shocked.

FFNet here

Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin

A/N: Hi, I'm not sure who else is still here but I do feel obligated to finish this story now that AoT had reached its end. Unfortunately, I stopped writing due to heavy workload and some negative comments that kept trying to criticize my plot points, grammars, or character development. Since I wrote for free on my spare time, my only source of energy was people leaving nice comments and actually letting me know that they enjoyed my work - so I know that those hours I spent writing this story and thinking up the plot points don't go to waste down the drain.

However, a lot of you have been really sweet too, leaving me a lot of positive comments and DMs to give me strength to write again. You are the reason I came back here, and also because I want to give Eren and Mikasa a little piece of happiness outside of the endless misery they have been constantly thrown in while in the canon universe.

So, here goes the next chapter. I apologize if it doesn't make much sense for now - just keep reading, eventually the plots will come together.

Also yes, I have quickened the pace a bit in my ambition to finish up this story but still make it enjoyable for you.

Last Chapter: Eren was feeling horrified after the whole incident where he accidentally kiss Mikasa and ran away. Meanwhile, Mikasa was feeling confused at the turn of events and asked for Ayako's advice, who finally helped her to realize her feelings for Eren. Meanwhile, Armin and Ayako made progress with their investigation and rounded up a possible accomplice of Nanako's. On their way back home, Eren tried to apologize to Mikasa for what happened yesterday, but the girl just shrugged it off and said to him that she forgave him and indeed, some things were better left unsaid. Eren continued to apologize for his improper behavior and added that he was not sorry - and he'll do it in a more proper manner next time.

(I hear something shattering

It suddenly wakes me up)

Mikasa wasn't sure where she was. She stood on a tall wall overlooking a small, cramped town full of houses built strangely close, and looking strangely similar, to one another. They all looked small, modest, with grey stone walls and orange roofs glinting slightly under the afternoon sunlight. Just in the middle of the town, a river was flowing smoothly, gently until it ended on a large gate made from dark brown woods strengthened by iron. She cast her eyes doubtfully around the edges of the town. She had been here, she had seen this town several times before. This was in a dream – and for a moment she wondered how her senses were even aware that this was not the real world.

It had been a while since she had last seen this dream. She had not been here for several months. Why did she see this dream again… why now? Every time she saw that small, cramped town and the endless field of wilderness beyond the other side of the wall, she always wondered about the contrast. Why did people not live on the other side? Why were they all squeezed together on one side? The thick walls, and the sturdy gates… It seemed like they were protecting themselves from something – a kind of danger, some wild beasts perhaps, or some even greater peril. Though she tried her hardest to guess, she never knew the answer. She walked, and walked along the wall until her feet grew tired, but there was no end to it. The wall went on a full circle around that small town, and in the distance she could see it stretched out further into unknown territory. What could possibly lie out there?

"It is a world you never know of," said a voice, and she quickly turned around. Surprised, she saw someone approaching.

She remembered, yet again. Yes, this part of the dream always happened. She always met this person inside her dreams, though from the countless times she met him, she had never once seen his face clearly. It was always cast by a dark shadow.

"You are curious, right?" he asked again. Mikasa didn't answer, but the figure wasn't waiting for her response.

"Why don't we go on an adventure together? Beyond this wall, I mean." said that voice, and slowly, she began to recognize his familiar voice.

"Who are you?" she said, answering his question instead with another question. Frowning slightly, she added. "We always met here, but you never once told me who you are."

"Me?" said the voice, sounding somewhat amused. "I'm someone you know very well, Mikasa." She narrowed her eyes, recalling slightly, half with hesitation. Yes she knew his voice, this was the voice of somebody that had become very dear to her, somebody she was deeply grateful to, somebody she owed her life to.

"Eren…?" she said slowly. But the other voice was silent this time, neither confirming nor denying. Was that really him?

"What do you want?" she asked again. "What kind of adventure do you mean?"

"Oh, many things," the voice replied. "There are many things in the world outside, something greater than what you imagined. Don't you want to see it all?"

Mikasa was not sure how to answer. So instead, she asked another question.

"How… how do we go beyond this wall?"

"That's easy," the voice answered again. "First of all… let's start by taking one step off this wall right here."

"You mean we should jump… from here?" she asked hesitantly, looking at the ground, far down below. "We will die for sure."

"Not if you believe otherwise. The moment we step off here, we'll gain our wings," he said. She still couldn't see his face. But his voice… she couldn't be mistaken.

"The wings of freedom," he continued, his voice filled with longing. For a moment he paused, letting out a deep sigh. "So… what do you say?" he approached her and she could see him stretching his hand, asking her to take it. She desperately tried to have a look on his face, but the deep, dark shadow just wouldn't go away.

"Would you go with me on this endless adventure?"

Mikasa didn't remember what she did. She might have taken the boy's hand, or she didn't. What she remembered next was the vivid recollection of her bedroom ceiling as she blinked a few times, trying to regain her consciousness.

She had returned, she realized, immediately feeling strange. "Returned" was indeed a peculiar word to use to describe her situation. She observed the morning light shining through the window, and recalled what just happened. Some dreams left off lingering feelings long after she woke up, and this dream was one of those. It was real, way too real to be considered a dream. She felt like that was the reality instead and this was her dream – perhaps she just came out of the matrix or something. Perhaps that was her actual life there and this was not, in fact, her reality….

No, that can't be. She quickly brushed the thought off her minds immediately. How ridiculous. She still had curiosity about her recurring dreams, and that boy – of course, why did he always seem like he was so eager to go beyond the walls? What was there, really? What lie there in the unknown? And why – she was a bit annoyed at herself, why did she never see his face? Could it actually have been – and her heart suddenly beat a little bit faster at this thought – could it have been Eren?

It did sound like him, she recalled, with his curiosity over everything and how he never sat still at one place. If it really was Eren inside her dreams, then she wouldn't be surprised. Although the more important question was – now she felt her cheeks growing hot at this thought – why would she have recurring dreams of Eren Yeager?

She could almost hear him, almost see his satisfied grin as she tried to imagine his reaction had he known she had been dreaming about him repeatedly.

"You are having a dream of me, Mikasa? Really? And not once, but several times already? Wow… you must miss me so much, huh? You already see me everyday at school, but not that I mind… I mean, you can just be honest about it, you know?"

She flushed with embarrassment and decided that she would never, ever let him know this lest she would face his endless teasing. Groaning, she covered her face with her hands and let several minutes pass until it was finally a little over seven. Then she got up. It's the start of a new day.

(That sound is ringing again

Another crack forms on this frozen lake)

"What do you mean, you haven't done your homework yet?" Mikasa asked rather reproachfully to the boy walking beside him. "You had one week to do it."

Eren, who was walking alongside her, showed no apparent remorse. "What do I have you for–" he said humbly, "if not for copying homework?"

Mikasa gave him a glare, "Eren… I'm serious."

"And so I am," he said, now stopping in front of his shoe locker to exchange his pair of shoes for school slippers. "If you can be kind to lend me your homework during the first period, I'll copy it quickly and hand it back to you on the second."

"You do realize we'll be third graders soon, right? What if you don't pass the exams?"

"I can worry about that later," he grinned, and Mikasa sighed. She had known him too well. If Eren had made up his mind to do something, he would seriously pursue it to the point of obsessing over it – but if he didn't want to do something, there's no point persuading him. She gave up, and almost contemplated to lend him her homework, when something crossed her minds.

"Shoot," said Mikasa as she stopped dead in her tracks. The clock pointed at twenty minutes to nine and she suddenly remembered. The vandalism on her desk that had been there every morning! She was quite distracted with her dreams today that she didn't even remember to come to school early. She should hurry up and erase it soon.

Determined not to waste any seconds, she jerked forward to climb the stairs in a sudden movement that surprised Eren. The boy let out a confused yell that she ignored, but in her hurry, she stumbled on the first stair step and almost fell face down flat. Mikasa let out a surprised shriek – she was well prepared for the impact but instead of the hard stone staircase, she felt a pair of sturdy hands grabbing her at the last moment. Her body dangling awkwardly on the air, her face a few inches from hitting the floor, she paused to recall the turn of events. What happened? Confused, she turned around and saw Eren's face up close.

"Careful there," he said, this time it was his turn to use that reprimanding tone on her. It was him who caught her before she landed on the floor in a painful crash. "Why are you in such a hurry, anyway?"

"Sorry," she said, not exactly answering his question. She was thankful that he caught her right on time, saved her a few bruises and a hard fall. But she couldn't bring herself to thank him yet. Her head spun and her breath seemed to have left her chest. For a moment, neither of them moved. Then, she realized that he had been holding her really close. His arms were practically wrapped around her, and their bodies were pressed together tightly. This was as close as they'd ever been after that whole i-didn't mean-the-kiss incident outside of the convenience store just two days back.

And suddenly, the memories sprang from the back of her brain to the very top of her mind.

"You… you can let me go now," she said. Her heart was beating ridiculously out of control that she almost feared he could feel it through her back.

"Oh," it took a few moments for Eren to realize the lack of personal space between them. And when it finally dawned on him – he let off his arms so suddenly he almost dropped her to the floor again.

"Sorry!" he said, as he saw her stumbling to regain her balance. "Sorry – didn't mean to…"

"Nevermind," said Mikasa, holding on to the stairs railing now to catch her balance. This morning just began but she seemed like she had been through a whole day's worth of event. Taking in a deep breath, she steadied herself and asked with a small voice, not quite ready to meet his eyes.

"Um… shall we go upstairs?"

"Yeah," Eren said, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Yeah… let's go."

Mikasa didn't find the artful graffiti on her desk this morning. Instead, it was something worse. She found a tall vase made of see-through glass filled with flowers sitting on top of her empty desk. She stopped on the spot when she saw them. Beside her, she could sense Eren doing the same, he seemed to be tensing. And she knew why.

Flowers on top of someone's desk was not a friendly gesture at all. Instead, it was a cruel, more horrible insult. When a student passed away, people put flowers on their desk at least until 49 days after their death. It was a tradition to honor the dead in Japanese Shintoism. She understood immediately what people wanted to say by putting it on her desk.

They wanted her dead and gone. Or this was their way of saying that they thought of her as dead already. Maybe because she wasn't giving much attention to their pranks before, but surely, these bullying were getting worse. She clenched her fists. She knew everyone was watching her now, tense with anticipation, wanting to see her reaction. She wanted to say something, do something, scream her anger – but she didn't want to give them the satisfaction. Just then when she still stood frozen on the spot, her mind empty – she felt someone moving beside her. A reassuring hand was put on her shoulder. She looked up to see Eren's face. The boy wasn't looking at her. Instead, he stared straight, but there was a certain strength in his fingers that seemed to tell her something he didn't say in words.

Don't worry. I got this.

With a slight glance to Mikasa, and a hint of furtive smile – Eren moved past her to grab the flower vase from the table. And suddenly, Mikasa realized in horror, that the class seemed to have grown more silent. She watched, as though in slow motion, Eren making his way to the front of the classroom, flower vase in hand, every step he made reverberated strangely through her ears. After what felt like eternity for her, the boy finally reached the teacher's table, and without any warning, slammed the flower vase on top of it. Surely enough, it warranted everyone's attention on him.

"Whoever coward did this," Eren managed to control his voice to sound as casually as he could, but no one would be foolish enough to skip the dangerous undertone, "If I ever caught you… the lots of you – I promise you will know exactly why I was expelled from my previous school." His emerald green eyes were glinting with a serious kind of madness. Mikasa recognized that look immediately. It was the look of anger and disgust he used to give her when he still misunderstood the nature of her business, when he still thought she was in an abusive relationship and she was too cowardly to break it off. She had seen this so many times, and yet – this time he made her shudder a bit. It wasn't just because of his words that contained thinly veiled threat, or the cold wrath that seemed to be emanating from him as he stood in front of the whole class, challenging them. No, it's because – different from those times in the past when they used to argue – she could sense a bit of madness now, much like a murderous intent. As much as Eren used to be angry at her back then, the root of his anger was pain. But now, it was different. There was no pain this time – just a desire to hurt others, for revenge. For once, Mikasa knew that Eren Yeager meant serious business, and if he ever caught the perpetrators behind this bullying incident, he would make sure they receive as much pain as they had done to her – or possibly even more.

That was the first time Eren ever displayed his obsession out in the open, and needless to say – the classroom atmosphere turned very cold at his words. Here and there Mikasa saw students who grew a bit pale, some looked guilty, some looked afraid and more anxious than others. Eren didn't seem to mind. "Let me repeat in case you are not clear," he said in an aura of casual ignorance. He didn't seem to realize the damage he just did with his open threat, or even if he did – he didn't care.

"Leave Mikasa alone, or else…," he paused. "You will pay."

He ended his speech curtly and turned to leave the teacher's table. Mikasa still froze on the spot when he came back down the aisle to his own table behind her. He still looked angry, but he grinned a little when he saw her. "Unless you want us to stand here all day," he said, "Maybe you should move a little so I can get to my seat."

Mikasa finally found his voice, "Eren…," she was just about to start, but he cut her.

"Later," he said, indicating with his chin to Mr. Levi's silhouette outside the classroom. "Teacher's coming."

(Even in my momentary dreams

The illusions that torture me are still the same)

For one, Mikasa knew that she really had to thank Eren. After he made such a blatant threat in front of the class – not one person dared to lie a finger on her. They still gave her the silent treatment of course, but Mikasa was used to it by now. Most importantly for her, there were no longer any planned vandalisms and her things had stopped disappearing mysteriously. Eren kept telling her that this would have stopped sooner had she taken her own actions against them earlier, and Mikasa admitted that he was right, though she was not sure that his way – implicitly threatening to use violence – was the right thing to do.

"It did get them out of the way," he shrugged, when they brushed over this topic one day.

"We were lucky not one of them ran complaining to the teacher," Mikasa reminded him. "You really could be expelled."

"I don't care," said Eren, and it seemed like he really didn't give it much thought. "Look here – if you wanted to endure their bullshit for longer… that's fine with me – but honestly I haven't got such patience against those cowardly losers. They're the kind of people I hate the most. If you hurt someone, you should be prepared to be hurt back. An eye for an eye. That's fair, if you ask me."

Mikasa knew how hard-headed Eren could be when it's related to his opinions, so she didn't say anything further. And though she still partly disagreed with his way – she did owe it to him for stopping the bullying. Another side of her was also really curious at Eren's threat – what did this boy do exactly, to get him expelled? Was it something that horrible? Was he capable of doing such a thing? Sometimes there was a part of her that was quite unsure about Eren – she thought she knew him, but how well did she know him? Could there be a completely different side to him other than this person she now regarded warmly at heart? Will her opinion of him change once she knew of his past?

Mikasa's confusion went on for several days without having anything for answers. Instead, she grew more confused by Eren's behavior.

Unsurprisingly, Ayako was the one who pointed it out first.

"So… did I miss the good news or anything?" she threw the question at Mikasa one day at lunch, who shot her a questioning glance over her half-bitten sandwich.

"What?" Mikasa asked back, confused.

"Why is Yeager acting like that to you?"

"Like what?"

"Like a boyfriend."

Mikasa burst out laughing. Only when realizing that her friend did not laugh along with her – did she know that Ayako was being serious.

"What do you mean – like a boyfriend?" she asked inquisitively and Ayako threw her a look that, once again was a mixture of pity and amusement at Mikasa's own inexperience toward boys.

"For once, he's very protective of you," Ayako started, "I heard all about that love confession in front of the class, by the way."

Mikasa paused to think. "If you're referring to that time where he made everyone in class cowered in fear for their own dear lives… I think you are mistaken," she replied calmly. "What Eren did was out of his frustration for dealing with – quote and quote – those cowardly losers."

"The very own people who bullied you," Ayako nodded in amusement. "He made the bullying stop, didn't he? Told the whole class they'd face his wrath if they dared to hurt you."

"You made it sound very dramatic," said Mikasa gloomily. "I was thankful for him but – Eren's always like that. I don't think that was because of me."

"Oh come on, Mikasa!" Ayako slightly jumped up and down on her seat in frustration. "Don't you realize it?" her pair of brown eyes were searching Mikasa now – looking for any signs that the other girl might have seen just exactly what she did, but all she got was more looks of confusion from her best friend. Ayako gave out a tired sigh in the end.

"I don't know if you are thick or just inexperienced," said Ayako. "Yeager's throwing such straight balls and here you are – not even catching his most obvious signal."

Mikasa blinked a few times.

"Explain," she said finally.

"Well for one," she started, "Isn't Yeager more… touchy around you recently?"

Mikasa frowned. "He's always been flirting around and saying all kind of nonsense since the first day he arrived at this school, I don't see how this is any different."

"Mikasa," said the other girl, her tone was close to exasperation. "Boys don't just put their hand around some random girl's waist or shoulder, or play with their hair, or give them pats on the head if they didn't really, REALLY like the girl. Besides, I totally heard from a reliable source – who happened to see both of you hugging near the staircase one morning before the bell rang. Pretty bold move if you ask me."

"That –" Mikasa knew exactly what her friend meant, but she couldn't help herself from turning scarlet. "That was an accident. I was about to fall, and he caught me."

Why did it feel like she was making excuses when she was telling the truth?

"STILL," Ayako insisted. "Did you ever see how Yeager looked at you? Or I think," she gave a deep sigh. "You never actually realized… how desperately he is holding himself back, do you?"

Mikasa grew silent at this question. She had no idea what Ayako meant at all. Bit by bit, she pondered on her friend's inquiry until she finally found a speck of light. Then she started slowly.

"If you meant – after the time we, I mean he… kissed me and…"

"Did he say nothing to you after that?" Ayako interrupted, and Mikasa grew even more scarlet.

"He apologized," she mumbled, not meeting her best friend's eyes.

"And?"

"And…," she was going to say and he promised to do it properly next time, but Mikasa just couldn't bring herself to say it. She was too embarrassed to say it out loud. Her words stuck on her throat and she quickly evaded the topic.

"Nothing," she said. "Eren said nothing else."

Ayako looked unconvinced, and Mikasa knew she pretty much could tell that she was lying. Even Mikasa wasn't convinced at her own words.

"Fine," said Ayako, sounding resigned. "But, mark my words," she crossed her arms, suddenly looking very stern. "Next time you are around Yeager, be more attentive to his signs, okay?"

"Signs?" Mikasa started, "What kind of –" but Ayako interrupted.

"Trust me on this," she said. Mikasa was going to argue further, but the bell rang in the distance, marking the end of lunch period. The two girls were silent for a moment.

"I'm going to the bathroom for a bit," said Ayako, slightly after the bell. Then she stood up and left the table without waiting for Mikasa, leaving the other girl in even greater state of confusion than before.

(Tell me, if my voice is fake

Should I have not thrown myself away?)

If only Mikasa could hear the conversation between the drama club members that afternoon in between their club practice, she would have been very interested.

"They are definitely dating – that Yeager boy and Ackerman," Ymir's loud voice stung sharply on Jean's ears – making his heart sink. She was standing a few meters away from him, painting the sky-blue backdrop to be used on their next performance, her large paint brush in hand, blue paints dropping needlessly from the end of the brush to the large, transparent plastic cover on the floor.

"Did you see how stupid Yeager behaved around her lately? He's totally into her. Or into something inside her pants, I don't know. Heard he's got quite the reputation."

"Ymir, that's mean," Historia interrupted. She was standing beside her tall friend, painting large, white clouds instead. "What's wrong if they start dating, anyway? Ackerman hasn't got anyone to date for ages… it's good that she found someone."

"My dear Christa –,"

"Call me Historia, please – you know Christa is my stage name."

"Historia dear," Ymir corrected, "Of course it isn't my business who Ackerman is dating with – but you might be interested to know that last week I mistakenly went into their empty classroom – thinking that it was my own, and I found them there, all lovey-dovey." Historia paused to look up at her taller friend, her large blue eyes were sparkling with curiosity.

"What were they doing?" she asked, and Ymir burst out laughing at the question.

"What else do you think a couple of lovebirds are supposed to be doing when they're alone? All sorts of things, Historia dear… and anyway…," Ymir dunked her paintbrush harshly to her can of blue paints, causing the contents to splatter everywhere. "Don't you remember those posters that caused so much stirs a while back? Apparently they're living together now. Or they used to live together. I wonder how they're not expelled."

Historia hesitated.

"No one could confirm if those rumors were true," she reminded Ymir. "But Ackerman is such a brilliant student, isn't she? She's the favorite of many teachers…"

"Fat chance," Ymir sneered, now painting the backdrop in large, crude strokes of blue paint. "Yeah that must be why… that Ackerman's too good to be expelled… And anyway, you reckon they've slept together as well?"

"If you paint just as much as you're talking," said someone behind them with a fierce, unpleasant tone, "You might have done more than just half a side of the canvas, Ymir."

Ymir let out a mocking grin, "Ah, Ishijima –" she said, pining her gaze to the girl who just arrived on the scene, her hands full of old costumes that she had just altered or fixed for their next performance. "I don't recall anyone here asking you to join in our conversation."

"Gossiping about someone behind her back, what a noble act, Ymir," said Ayako, a look of disdain clear on her face.

"All gossips are based on facts," Ymir shrugged. "Anyway, we know just how chummy you are with both Ackerman and Yeager… so obviously you'd defend them to the death. Some very strong loyalty, if you ask me."

Just as fight was about to break out between Ymir and Ayako, Jean carefully slipped out to the back stage. That was enough for him. He didn't need to hear those gossips to make things worse… It's not like he didn't see it for himself – that Yeager boy and Mikasa, growing nearer day by day… her gestures, her smile when she saw him. From the moment the transfer student set step in this school, Jean was gradually fighting on the losing side. Jean wasn't blind – that Yeager boy likes her, just like any other straight boy in school, he must have found Mikasa pretty, but… the most heart-breaking part for Jean was that Yeager was the only one Mikasa ever truly responded with the same kind of affection.

And now the wheels have turned, and it seemed like there was no stopping it. Bitterly, Jean headed to the locker room. He couldn't endure practice today. He'll go home early and make his excuses to Marco tomorrow. Marco would have to understand.

"Jean…," a soft voice suddenly spoke beside him. He blinked. And that was when he realized he was not alone in the locker room. Nanako stood just a few steps behind him, looking at him with a silent type of concern.

"Oh," said Jean, just halfway out of his mind. "Hello, Toda."

"Are you okay?" she asked, looking worried.

"Yeah… not really," said Jean reluctantly. "I'm going home early today."

"Do you…," Nanako seemed hesitant to ask. "Do you need… anything?"

Jean shook his head. "I'll be fine tomorrow, thank you," he said, forcing a smile and closing his locker door. Just as he was about to exit the locker room, Nanako said again from behind him.

"I know how it feels."

This was so sudden that Jean immediately halted. Turning in confusion, she faced Nanako, who was now looking strangely at him – as though she didn't want him to go.

"I know how it feels when the one you love doesn't return the feelings," she explained, the edges of her lips were quivering slightly. Jean didn't know what to say. For a few long moments, he just stood there looking at her. Then, the girl opened her mouth again.

"Do you – do you at least mind if I accompany you to the station?" Jean looked down to the pair of dark brown eyes pleading at him.

"Maybe," he said, after a few moments of contemplation. "Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea."

(Did I lose myself?

Or did I gain you?)

Mikasa had never realized how the sight of setting sun could be so endearing.

She also never expected how moments of wilderness could lead to such moments of tenderness, or the other way around.

Either way, it all started with him. Now that she thought about it carefully, all the big events in her life was almost always related to him.

They were both alone in the empty sports hall that afternoon after school, on the mezzanine part where audience used to sit down when watching various sports games – from basketball to badminton to volleyball – played on the fields down below. None of the sport clubs were using the fields for practice today, it was the basketball team's schedule, but they had a practice match in a rival school. Eren, who had learned about the schedule, suddenly decided that a round of ball games was a good idea – particularly because he was having too much energy and nothing to do. So Mikasa accompanied him.

Looking at the orange rays of the setting sun, and down to the wooden polished floor glittering slightly under the sun, she suddenly remembered something.

"I had this dream a while back," she said at the sound of approaching footsteps behind her, which she knew belong to Eren. "There was… a small town. A very small town protected by giant walls. I was standing on top of the wall. But strangely, though one side of the wall was cramped full with these small houses, the other side of the wall was a land of vast wilderness with no living beings in sight. And then someone came and approached me, and they said…"

"Do you want to know what's on the other side of the walls…?"

Mikasa's heart froze. For a moment, she thought she didn't hear it correctly. Or maybe, this was still inside one of those dreams.

Slowly, slowly, she turned to face him. His face was bearing the same resemblance of surprise that she would have seen on her own face.

"You…," she said, slowly. She forced herself to swallow, her heart beating faster than ever. "Did you…?" But she couldn't finish her sentence. Her words faltered, as she pondered his face, looking for answers to her unspoken question.

Did he also see the same dream?

Eren, meanwhile, stood at his spot with the same aghast look on his face. Then, he started, in a very low voice, barely more audible than a whisper.

"I have seen that town too."

Before she knew it she had started toward him. She might have forgotten how strong she was – she seized his upper arms and pulled him closer with all her might, ignoring his surprised gasp, her pair of stormy grey eyes wide with disbelief.

"You are not lying?" she affirmed. "What – what did you see?"

This was too curious, too bizarre to be called a coincidence. They had both seen the same dreams – the same visions. She had not breathed even a word of these strange, recurring dreams to anyone, and the fact that Eren uttered such words precisely like the boy inside her dreams … he must have seen them too.

"There was this strange girl wearing a long white dress. I couldn't see her face," Eren started. "She was wandering alone on top of the walls, looking confused and lost. So I asked her if she wanted to know what was there… beyond the walls."

"And did you – did you know?" asked Mikasa. "What is out there?"

Eren took a few moments to look closely at her face before replying, "I don't know," he said slowly. "Beyond those walls were some great danger. But I do know – that I wanted to explore them. I wanted to find out." He frowned. "Strangely, that small town… I know I'd never been there – there was probably no place like such that I have visited on my whole life, but that town… looked…"

"Familiar," he and Mikasa finished the sentence together. They looked at each other. There was a strange lump in Mikasa's throat, and a rising odd sensation was gripping her stomach. What kind of nonsense was this? Mikasa was never one to believe in superstition, but here she was, reminiscing about a dream she never shared to anyone else – to the boy who happened to see the same dream.

"I must have gone mad," she sighed, after a while. Her head hurt a little, probably from too much shock and information overload. "That – that must be the only plausible explanation."

"Yeah, and I think you're driving me mad too," said Eren, trying not to sound too agitated.

"Sorry," she started. "It's just – it's hard to believe."

"I mean not that," Eren said. He sounded like he was speaking under considerable amount of restraint, that Mikasa raised her eyebrows. "I mean it's the fact that we're both alone here, and you're gripping me so close I could feel your –" he managed to stop before he said the word boobs, instead flicking his glances down below, to the inviting sight of those lovely swell beneath her shirt, and decided to change his wordings before he said anything improper that might upset her. "Anyway – I think you're really overestimating my ability to control myself, so unless you want me to do something stupid or incredibly dangerous… I suggest you let me go."

"Oh." Now that she knew what he meant, her face was boiling scarlet. His words seemed to have thrown her into the present. But she didn't loosen her grip. She didn't let him go. She continued clutching his upper arm and held him closely. Eren was growing more agitated by the second. If there was anything like mental torture, this was most likely it. It was agonizing, seconds passed as he stood there like a statue, her body pressed close against his – so warm, so reachable. But he must not, he had sworn to himself he must not…

"But Eren," she started, her soft voice a contrast to his glaring pain. "You made a promise, didn't you? You said next time you'd do it properly."

Eren froze. For a moment he thought his ears were malfunctioning.

She can't be serious.

"Stop joking," he said, barely keeping his voice from showing how panicked he was inside. "You don't know what you're saying, what I would do if I –"

"I'm not joking," she said firmly. She brought up her eyes to look at him, meeting his eyes in a kind of deviant determination. He was too stunned for words.

"You serious?" he asked in a low voice, his eyes searching her for any kind of hesitation. Any kind of sign to stop him – just one sign and he'd pull himself back, he'd walk away and pretend this didn't happen…

But she only gave a small nod. And it was all he needed as permission.

"Then… I'm not going to hold back."

It started off slowly. His lips met hers in the softest manner – it was as if he was trying to gauge her reaction, to not to destroy the delicate balance that had been carefully built between them. This time she wasn't taken by surprise, this time she was ready for him. She kissed him back – she was surprised at how much she loved this – she grew more passionate, her hands circling his neck, his hands on her hips. He parted her lips slowly, and she let out a sigh. Their lips were locked together, their tongues met one another – circling, swirling, and she pressed the kiss deeper. She wanted to taste more – more of him, and he wanted to give her everything. He couldn't believe it – she was here, inside his arms, and he was kissing her. They continued exploring each other, no words needed, no thoughts inside their heads, merely letting their desire, the most primal of their instincts guide them together. Shortly after, they paused for breath, he opened his eyes, and finally they had a moment to look at one another.

She was slightly panting. He too, was breathing heavily. Six months, almost seven – after they had known each other. And still Eren felt like this was the prettiest that he had ever seen her.

"Do you mind if we go home a little late?" he asked, and she gave a faint smile. Not waiting for her answer, he pushed her toward the wall, safely locking her in the space between the walls and his own body, caging her on the other side of his arms, and they continued to kiss once more. Soft kisses that grew hungrier, more passionate in just a matter of seconds. He was – admittedly, hungry for her – perhaps he'd been craving this ever since he met her. But most surprisingly for him, was how much she seemed to want him, too. This kiss was different, when their lips met, it's not like anything on the blind dates, nothing like what he had on the flings. There was a part of his soul that was satisfied with this kiss, instead of merely physical pleasure.

He broke off the kiss, pressed a string of kisses down her neck, and she let out a soft moan, her fingers entangled in his hair. He really hoped no one would walk in at the moment – doing it in public place was a risky thing, but the school was nearly deserted, and besides, it gave him an extra rush of adrenaline. His heart pumping louder, he traced his lips down to her exposed neckline beneath her unbuttoned collar, and slowly, beneath her shuddering breaths, doubts were beginning to form on his mind. He didn't quite know how far he should go – Mikasa was not too experienced with this, perhaps he shouldn't shock her…

Mikasa seemed to have sensed his hesitation. Her chest rose and fell with anticipation. To be honest, Eren was sorely tempted to explore her body beyond the unbuttoned collar, but suddenly his mind was beginning to speak sense. He stopped, and pulled away to look at her. She stood there in front of him, her hair messy, her shirt rumpled. And on her face, he could see an unmistakable speck of relief.

"That was too much," he admitted, rather embarrassed at himself. She shook her head wordlessly. "I gave you permission," she said, sounding like she was addressing herself rather than him.

"Even so, this hard wooden floor isn't a comfortable place to do it properly," he grinned, and she blushed.

"At least," she paused, her face still a hue of scarlet. "At least the kiss was more than proper."

"Yeah sure," he replied, grinning even wider, "seeing just how much you enjoyed it…" this earned him a slap on his upper arm, and a glare from her, though she couldn't stop herself from being embarrassed at the same time.

"I'm joking," he said, half feeling amused at her reaction. Still smiling, he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her delicate waistline before bending down and again, interlocked their lips for another round of long, heated kiss.

They went down half an hour later – it was close to 5.30 and the sky was beginning to get darker. Mikasa desperately tried to make herself look more presentable – thankfully the blazer hid any signs of her crumpled shirt, but there was no way to check herself in the mirror so she asked Eren to check her, tidied up their hair, and tried not too look too guilty should they ever run into any of the school staff.

They crossed the school front gate and out toward the station, each not saying anything to the other. They were too busy making out in the school gymnasium earlier, but now that the reality finally dawned on her – the awkwardness of this situation just sank in. Though it didn't make sense, Mikasa almost felt like she just committed a felony. That's how big this first step was for her, a straight-A student who never broke any school rules, and who, most importantly, would never have thought that she would be making out in the school gymnasium with the new transfer student just a little over six months ago. She glanced sideways, and, surely enough – just like any other times when she was constantly worked up – Eren remained calm. What a contrast from earlier inside the gym, when he was the one panicking and she calmly reminded him of his promise.

Her train arrived first. She made her way down to her platform. Just before she left, she heard his voice calling her.

"Mikasa!"

She turned around. And there he was, looking really handsome with his emerald green eyes glinting in satisfaction, and a wide, mischievous smile on his face.

"I fulfilled my promise, didn't I? There are many more where that came from, you know."

She broke out in a smile. Contemplating for a few seconds, she opened her mouth to speak.

"I'll be waiting," she said playfully.

And with that, she disappeared out of his sight, down to her train platform, her steps as light as a feather's.

So... yeah. Eren fulfilled his promise.

About time for them to start kissing for real, right?

#eremika #hourglass #eremika fanfic #aot #snk #snk fanfic #aot fanfic #eren x mikasa

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eujazmine · 3 years

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⟨ RYAN DESTINY. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JAZMINE HARPER is actually a descendent of H E C A T E. it’s still a question of whether or not the 23 year old BUSINESS MAJOR from HOUSTON, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite PASSIONATE & MISCHIEVOUS.

hi everyone it’s rae #2 again 😔 but allow me to introduce you all to my darling jazmine, who is a revamping of a couple muses i’ve played in the past. as always, like this post and i’ll hit your dms!

History (death tw)

claimed at birth in houston, texas since her father could see through the mist. her father started physically training around the age of three. it wasn’t anything too crazy at first, since she was only a toddler when they began, but her father wanted her to have a head-start athletically. on her 6th birthday, hecate gifted her a spell book and required that she started her magical training.

she started attended camp elektra in california during the summers when she was seven years old. at some point, her father got married and started having more children. when she was twelve, he announced that they would be moving to new york for her new step-mother’s job. that summer, she attended camp half-blood, and leaving for camp was the last time she had seen her texan home.

it was around that time that her and her father’s strong personalities truly began to clash. they had different visions for jazmine’s future, and she started to resent being under his control. it also frustrated her that she couldn’t alter his perception via mist, which led to even more complications whenever she was caught doing so to her step-mother.

she spent nearly two years with her family in new york. after nearly getting expelled from school and having too many issues at home, her father sent her away to year-round camp in greece by the time she was 14.

due to extensive training, she was among the top-ranked during her time at camp athens. she devoted much of her free time, including summer breaks, to questing and rigorous training, and was often recruited through the school for selective quests.

once she graduated, she tried staying with her father in new york again to work and save money, but this only lasted about six months. she went back to europe to travel and she fulfilled quests for money to support this new lifestyle.

at 20, jazmine had another terrible fight with her father. she left and hasn’t seen him since. after this, she started to take questing seriously again. she went on more dangerous and complex quests, knowing there was no one really out there waiting for her safe return.

then came 2019: the zeus incident. she, celeste (daughter of zeus) and adelphie (daughter of apollo) teamed up to retrieve poseidon’s trident from zeus. these three had quested in the past, and were a notoriously powerful trio, but they had never gone against celeste’s own father.

by the time they had defeated the guard monsters and reached the trident, zeus had become aware of what they were up to. he killed adelphie on sight. as jazmine futilely tried to heal adelphie’s lifeless body, celeste used this moment to carry the trident back to the ocean via the wind. soon enough, zeus zapped celeste off the mountain. whether the god of thunder hadn’t seen her hiding in the darkness or he just didn’t care, she’ll never know, but he spared jazmine and left.

after carrying adelphie back down the mountain and presuming that celeste was also dead, she came across rostam, who had prophesied that something would happen at the mountain. he helped her bring her friends back to eonia, where she was allowed to rest and enroll for the following semester.

now, she’s at eonia studying business because 1) she has nowhere else to go and 2) she doesn’t think she wants to fight her whole life anymore.

Personality

being able to manipulate mortals as a child has made her view people more as vessels of entertainment or stimulation, and it shows. her sense of humor primarily revolves around teasing others, such as mocking them or playing tricks on them, and her blunt remarks can often be perceived as quite insensitive. she is very observant and has no problem using this trait for blackmail or manipulation, but she uses this to provide frank judgment or advice when asked. “0 to 100″ is a pretty accurate way to describe jazmine -- meaning for the most part, she has a calm, cool vibe, but her hot-temperedness can quickly get her in trouble. she can be impatient, vengeful, and petty, refusing to be the bigger person or the “loser” when crossed. stubborn and prideful, she could hold a grudge forever until she serves her own sense of justice or receives external mediation.

her bluntness and outbursts might give off the impression of her being mean, which she kinda is sometimes, but she isn’t that mean. she’s a compassionate person, and she’ll often help others if she feels sorry for them, despite trying to brush off their problems as beneath her. this is especially true when it comes to her friends. although she can be particularly harsh with them, her fierceness also comes with extra love and protection.

Powers

her most powerful ability is mystiokinesis, but it didn’t come easily. like other children of hecate, her magic is strongest at nighttime and very limited during the day. she was given a spellbook once claimed and has been perfecting her craft since. her magic gives her a limited grasp of all kinds of abilities, but she is most skilled in the areas of magic that have helped her the most on quests, such as vitakinesis, offensive spells/curses, and magical tracking. she works hard to improve her mystiokinesis through camps and personal training, but she is prone to overdoing it and negatively affecting her own health.

mist control is her secondary ability. it was the first of her powers to develop. as a child, her suggestions seemed to be a little too convincing to mortals. although it wasn’t fool-proof, she found herself manipulating people’s perceptions in her favor, possibly to get herself out of trouble or solely for entertainment purposes. she mostly uses it to her advantage around mortals or on quests. at eonia, and hasn’t found much use for this skill at eonia.

umbrakinesis is definitely her weakest power, but she would love to be more skilled in it. it has been the most difficult for her to develop, so she can only sometimes use the shadows as a shield or as a method of travel during the night. however, she has been able to levitate since she was a kid, which has been pretty convenient ever since she learned how to control it.

Extras

tl;dr: retired adrenaline junkie prone to moodiness

she has been at eonia since summer/fall 2019. you can get some more details about that last quest on celeste’s intro and self-para, if you haven’t already! feel free to assume that your muse had heard something about it.

she’s very hard-working and puts 110% into the things she cares about. the number of hours she has devoted to magic and academics is endless. neither of these areas come super naturally to her, so she has to work extra hard to develop them to reach her standards.

those 2 years she spent traveling europe and questing for cash?? she was living her best life. she used mist control and mystiokinesis a lot during this time to do things like avoid getting arrested, sneak into fancy masquerade balls, crash weddings, and waive any extra fees she couldn’t afford. she’ll bring up a wild memory from time to time if the conversation calls for it, but it’s rare for her to give out too many other details.

character inspo: think michelle jones (1), jessica huang (1, 2), hotaru imai (1, 2), fallon carrington (1, 2, 3), mal (1), daoming si (meteor garden), jennifer pierce (1, 2, 3), sam puckett (1), rosa diaz (1, 2, 3, 4)

works at the dining hall. she doesn’t care about this job and therefore puts no effort into it, so don’t expect a smile or cheery tone from her when you walk in.

involvements: black student union, gamer’s guild, football (soccer)

a skilled fighter, she is well-versed in swordsmanship and hand-to-hand combat, but she prefers using magic since it comes from her godly lineage.

she’s been playing soccer since she was a child, a sport her dad forced encouraged all of her siblings to partake in. although her and her father had many other issues, this actually wasn’t one of them, seeing as they both shared a genuine love for the sport. she’s known for being overly aggressive and instigative on the field, so she's at risk of losing her position if she starts any more fights.

Potential Connections

ex: there was probably never any official title tbh so she might even claim that they weren’t exes. jazmine’s a very private person and finds this kind of stuff too vulnerable, so maybe your muse got tired of being treated like a secret.

quest mates: could’ve been for anything tbh, but if your muse was significantly weaker than jazmine, she would’ve for sure let them know.

tutor: she works hard to maintain her grades, but sometimes she needs the extra help.

people she protects: for whatever reason, jazmine has a soft spot for your muse, so she’ll take care of them when they’re sick, bring them home from a party, put a curse on their ex, you name it.

past hookup: she never called. consider yourself blocked.

friends: self-explanatory! unlikely friends, friends who bond over mutual hatred, frenemies., etc.

enemies: her moral ambiguity and rude remarks probably rub some people the wrong way, so enemies wouldn’t be too surprising.

clients?: i’d imagine that some people have paid her in the past to bring misfortune to their enemies. they probably paid her some money to put a lil curse on them. it’s never anything permanent. if they paid her extra, maybe she did some research and brought them something to blackmail them with.

targets: the people that her clients have paid her to curse. she’s just a third party trying to chase the bag, so no hard feelings, really -- but if your muse somehow found out they got cursed by her, she’d be willing to reverse it for a price.

pawns: maybe she views them as weak. maybe she just finds them funny. either way, she has little respect for your muse and will mess with them for her own entertainment. it’s all in good fun!

people she met while exploring europe: she was up to a lot of shenanigans during those two years, so the possibilities are endless.

#euintro #death tw #violence tw #okay and now i disappear

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