#once the subject has identified the experience as love it is love

[woundgallery]

Loving to Survive: Sexual Terror, Men's Violence, and Women's Lives by Dee L.R. Graham

#dee l.r. graham #intimate partner violence #domestic violence #literature #the human custom of wrong love #trauma bonding #cognitive distortions #text #once the subject has identified the experience as love it is love #romantic love was invented to manipulate women #expiring for love is beautiful but stupid

[vesora]

the spoon does not exist. - movie scene linked

the straight spoon does not exist without your awareness of it.

you do not bend the spoon, you bend yourself. you bend your awareness. the spoon is illusory. perception is subjective.

"What he sees before him is not a spoon, but rather an idea his brain has created of a spoon—his own perception. He can change reality by changing his perception."

"Neo remembers this exchange as he becomes more confident in his ability to break the rules of the Matrix. All he has to do is remember that the rules he breaks aren’t actual rules. Just as there is no spoon, there is no gravity, there is no time—all these things are lies the machines tell his brain. Neo can fly, for example, because he can see gravity is a false construct. Once Neo understands that “there is no spoon,” he gains more power in the Matrix."

using a movie to explain that reality is false may be unorthodox but hear me out. the matrix is simply a sense-based prison. a self-made prison made up of limitations and false constructs. there is no logic, there are no facts, everything is illusory and can be changed but in order for you to gain awareness of a different version of reality you must realise that the spoon is fake.

"Anything is possible in the Matrix, yet Neo’s lifetime of conditioning within this system has kept his belief in his own ‘Oneness’ from truly taking root. Logic implies that all things are known and must follow certain parameters and patterns, yet nature is anything but logical. In this context, "there is no spoon" is meant as a means for Neo to let go of his logical presumptions of what constitutes reality. As the boy says, “...you’ll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.” The limitations of Neo’s reality are self-imposed by the lense through which he’s been taught to see the world. By letting go of what he’s so sure ‘he knows’, he finally opens up to what’s possible."

Morpheus tells him “You have to let it all go Neo; fear, doubt, and disbelief.” 

the movie itself does give way to things external to the person - agent smith - but you do not need to take it literally. there is no external. the only agent smith that exists is your own self imposed destruction. 'breaking out of the matrix' is just breaking out of a falsely identified with reality and realising that you are above any human law, above everything for you are reality itself. be nonchalant to agent smith, he is POWERLESS for you have realised the truth. the truth that you can manipulate the so-called matrix. the truth that your realisation of your power is all that is needed.

it is hard to realise that everything you believed was real is illusory, it can be overwhelming to 'take the red pill' and realise the greatest truth that you ARE the creator and no human law applies to your divine nature. realising the truth does not take away from special moments or imagined memories, it liberates you from believing that this body is all that you are. it opens a new door of actual UNLIMITED possibilities to experience anything you want to experience, knowing that you are not victim to circumstance and you can easily experience something different. you are in control. there is NOTHING holding you back. you can fly right now if you want to. you can teleport to japan right now if you want to. there is no such thing as impossible, the only impossibility exists in mind which we know is illusory.

realise the spoon is fake and bend your awareness to live life out of misery, pain and destruction and direct your awareness to love, peace and fun.

#law of assumption #loa #manifestation #manifest #affirmations #matrix

[takeme-totheworld]

I think what bothers me the most about the "Aziraphale doesn't have religious trauma" argument (which I've seen from many many different people, this is not aimed at anyone in particular) is that it's usually based on the idea that religious trauma = trauma based on being taught to believe in something imaginary, whereas in the GO universe God and Satan and Heaven and Hell are all real.

And like...yes, that's true and I understand where the people who say this are coming from.

But "being taught to believe in something imaginary" is actually not the basis for a lot of what I saw in Aziraphale that I identified so strongly with along religious trauma lines.

You know what things are a hundred percent real?

The church I was raised in and the heavy sway it holds over its members.

Institutional Christianity in general and its influence on the world in general and my country (the US) in particular.

The indoctrination I was subjected to, which was not only about the alleged existence of God, Satan, etc, but was also very much about inculcating us all with a very specific (and harmful) moral framework, and an extremely narrow-minded and tribalistic view toward the rest of society, and intensely harsh, self-punishing rules for being A Good And Righteous Person.

And all those other things, especially the self-punishing moral strictures, have stuck with me far longer and been much more difficult to excise from my brain than the fear of Hell, which I was actually able to dispense with fairly quickly once my brain made all the necessary "oh, this is all bullshit actually" connections.

So when I talk about my personal religious trauma, I'm talking about the trauma I experienced at the hands of a religious institution, which actually encompassed a much broader category of things than "being taught to believe in a scary imaginary mythology." Yes, that was absolutely part of it, and yes, that part was used as the basis to justify the rest of it—but in my case, it was in some ways the least impactful part.

When I see Aziraphale clinging to the belief that Heaven is "the side of truth, of light, of good," I see myself desperately clinging to my love and trust in the basic moral goodness and rightness of the church even when it was measurably harming me. When I see Aziraphale saying things like "it's not for us to understand" or all the weird propaganda about the virtues of poverty in the Edinburgh episode, I see myself parroting real-world ideologies I'd been indoctrinated with growing up, even in the face of factual evidence that life was actually much more complicated than that.

I was taught trust and loyalty toward a deeply harmful institution, I was taught to accept whatever that institution told me was the truth without questioning it, I was taught a bunch of factually wrong and deeply fucked up paradigms about how the actual world of human beings was supposed to work, and I had to work incredibly hard to unlearn all of that. And those are the things I see in Aziraphale that I identify with so intensely and so painfully. And all of those things are also religious trauma.

Anyway, I'm not trying to start an argument about this, just to articulate where I'm coming from. If you are a person who also has religious trauma, who doesn't personally see your experience reflected in Aziraphale, it's totally valid to say that! But to categorically state that it's therefore not religious trauma, or that religious trauma is the wrong metaphor for anyone to use here...just maybe don't do that?

If there's one thing that's become obvious to me in this fandom it's how many different lenses this story can be interpreted through, and it makes me feel icky to see the one that most resonates with me repeatedly and specifically called out as incorrect. By, genuinely, lots of different people, over and over again.

#good omens #aziraphale #personal #religious trauma #religious indoctrination

[linskywords]

(Please excuse the following ramblings. I blame the red wine and my over-enthusiastic anticipation for the sequel)

So Jack's self loathing of his sub designation was because of family attitudes (*cough* his dad) but what if Trevor's is the product of the hockey culture itself?

Like what if Trevor was playing in leagues above his age ever since he could remember. So of course he's subjected to seeing the older kids talk shit about subs in the locker room.

Just picturing baby Trevor watching the other kids gang up on a sub on the ice and call them terrible names.

And that just sticks and permeates in his mind. Sure, maybe his family is more supportive and he knows deep down it doesn't matter to them whether he's a dom or a sub.

But he just can't bring himself to tell anyone because he thinks it's some sort of shameful admission of not being good enough.

And maybe that's why he idolizes Quinn to such a level (real talk Trevor and Quinn's actual relationship is so funny to me. Quinn is just perpetually exhausted and Trevor is an overexcited puppy)

Like maybe one summer while Trevor is staying at the Hughes' lake house, he either catches Quinn subbing or Quinn has a heart to heart with him. And Trevor admires Quinn so much for being so sure of himself, even if he doesn't tell everyone in the world.

And sure, Trevor wishes that could be him. But he's stuck in a world of his own doing.

And he bro talks all of his totally real and definitely not made up domming stories with Jamie because he has a giant crush on him from moment one and will spit exaggerated lies for hours as they chill together on their rooftop because he will do anything to spend time with him.

And Jamie would accept Trevor no matter how he identifies. Jamie just shares dom stories with Trevor because, well, Trevor just gives off this persona of an almost stereotypical dom, so Jamie just assumes.

Like one day when they're chilling on the roof of their shared house, Jamie brings up how he thinks subs should have more rights, subs deserve to play in the league, etc. And Trevor gets so close to just blurting out his no good horrible secret until they're rudely interrupted by Jack calling him.

And maybe Jack offers to lend a hand (in the form of Nico) and (after Trevor's token panic about being found out) he agrees because if there is even a chance he can be as comfortable as Quinn, maybe he can tell Jamie.

So it turns into almost a training regiment (at Nico's request to frame it like training to not have Trevor freak out as much)

Trevor first starts coming over and just watching Nico and Jack scene. And at first he's fidgeting and wants to leave. But the second Jack goes down and goes all hazy eyed, Trevor is just hit with this pang of longing. Like he wants to experience that, even if it's just once.

And they work up from there. Trevor and Jack do small little things, like having Trevor be the little spoon, hand feeding etc. (Jack is ok with it because Nico is still domming but he has just become an extension of Nico, which is so hot in Jack's mind)

Eventually they work up to a scene. And Trevor wants nothing more than being held and loves soft scenes. He loves being taken apart while Nico whispers sweet nothings in his ear and Jack holds his ankles to ground him while Trevor cries. His favorite part is aftercare. He loves being the center of attention and falling asleep being the middle spoon.

....

Now I have no idea where it goes from there. Quite frankly, I'm out of wine and plus you are 100000x better of a writer than I am. I would love to know your thoughts (esp on Trevor's characterization)

Either way, I can't wait for the sequel and know it will be AMAZING! <3

Ahahaha this is amazing!! Your Trevor is so much less bitter and deluded than the one in my head. 😅 In my head, Trevor is super not okay with seeing Jack and Nico together because, like...what Jack is letting Nico do is wrong, right? If it's not wrong, why would Trevor have been depriving himself of this thing that he (er, everyone) wants so badly for so many years?

And, like, sure, he and Jamie can share scening stories, but everyone understands that that's part of the performance. That's what they need to do, to prove to each other that they're doing the thing they're supposed to. It's really impressive that Jamie doesn't slip up very often. Trevor's gotta learn from his example, because he has a sinking feeling he's worse at this than the other guys are, and he's got to get it together before he messes up for real.

#trevor zegras #jamie drysdale #jack hughes #nico hischier #hockey rpf

[brucewaynehater101]

ok here's another wingfic au but taking it in the opposite direction from the last one. (different person from the original op btw)

what if tim and all of the bats did have wings but instead of the surgeon adding wings they actually removed them from tim?

now tim has to deal with the experience of losing his wings and not being able to fly anymore. maybe it took away his instincts so he can't reciprocate anymore despite once being able to do so with ease. or maybe he still has his instincts but the others find it hard to reach out to him now that he doesn't have wings anymore.

but tim is a stubborn fuck so what if we combined this with that one fake wing au where tim learns to build his own wings bc he refuses to never be able to fly again.

and maybe tim manages to pull it off to the point where no one even knows that tim ever lost his wings in the first place until it's revealed in a traumatizing manor idk.

the fake wing fic i was talking about is called "Loading and Aspect Ratio" by JUBE514

Oof. For some reason, I can't read fics where someone loses their wings. It's such an important part of their identity and being that losing it causes an insurmountable amount of grief. To me, I imagine it to be similar to a vital part of someone's culture being taken away from them (like forcibly cutting hair for some cultures or preventing someone from having access to an important part of their identity).

However, I would so be down for a fic where, after Tim loses his wings, he creates prosthetics. It would not be the same, but Tim could learn to find himself again in the pile of wires and metal he fashions into his ability to fly again.

I think this prospective fic could have many different themes it could address:

One, Tim would probably be pissed at people treating him as fragile or lesser because he lost his wings. This could be a great allegory to how people treat disabled individuals, especially after an incident that changes the person's ability. It could also address how folks interact with people who have gone through traumatic and life changing events.

Two, the experience is going to absolutely suck for Tim. Even when he creates new wings, it's not going to fix everything. They will probably cause him pain, the scars will hurt, he will be going through all the stages of grief rapidly and repeatedly, and they might malfunction. There will be days he destroys his wings in anger and despair. Sometimes, he won't leave his lab, won't get out of bed, or refuses to eat. He might get dysphoria or imposter syndrome, might lash out at loved ones, and will probably isolate. It will be a very rough transition for him.

Three, there might be social stigma against "fake" wings. Maybe it would ping the others' instincts wrong. They might struggle connecting with Tim before and after he gets the prosthetics. I would also imagine that Tim would need to implant a chip into his body/spine/brain (idk robotic prosthetic science) to have the wings work correctly. I doubt he would tell them before doing it.

Eventually, his family would rally to support Tim's choice for the fake wings. It's the dealer's choice on whether Timothy Drake is known for his fake wings or not. On one hand, Tim could be the face of WE's prosthetics department and providing support for people who have lost their wings (and he could address the lack of Cyborg rights currently in law [companies can reclaim prosthetics if you go bankrupt effectively taking a part of you]). On the other hand, it could address how people don't have to publicly embrace aspects of their identity. They are a person with unique experiences and don't need to fit themselves into boxes or become the poster child of a movement (it sucks, but sometimes embracing your identity means you get limited down to that subjective experience in how people see and identify you).

If the Waynes don't know about Tim getting his wings taken away and then replaced, that kind of reminds me of a fic I read where Tim's arm was replaced. He built it with YJ and his family didn't find out for years. I don't remember the name, but it was really good.

I haven't read that fic you mentioned, but now I'm excited to check it out ^^

#dc comics #dc universe #tim drake #thank you for the ask!!!! #I love exploring AUs and different dynamics with the batfam #wingfic

[eflen-n-reegee]

Regressors Riley Anderson and Emotions Headcanons (Inside Out)

Suggested by anon; they didn’t specify a character, and I had ideas for both Riley and the emotions, so… Ya get both! 😁

Riley

Riley learns to love San Francisco, but she still misses her life in Minnesota. She finds that when she’s especially missing her old life, she starts acting like a much younger kid. At first she’s confused and a bit embarrassed, but when she tells her parents, they reassure her that if it helps her to feel better, it’s okay. After that she feels more comfortable about her regression and starts to truly enjoy it.

At first, before she knows about what regression is, she calls it “San Francisco preschool”; she loved her preschool in Minnesota, and she’s re-exploring some of that joy and security in her new town.

She’s rather clumsy when she’s regressed, often ending up with scratches and covered in rainbow bandaids.

She loves skating and hitting the puck around, but she doesn’t have the attention span to actually play hockey.

She’s extra silly, making ridiculous jokes and acting completely goofy.

She LOVES drawing, and the fridge is completely covered in pictures.

Her absolute favorite regression foods are dino nuggets and ice cream.

She is CONSTANTLY singing. Little Riley has a song for absolutely any situation.

She’s a pretty sensitive kiddo; it doesn’t take much to make her cry. Fortunately, it also doesn’t take much to cheer her up again.

She doesn’t like to tell people about her regression, but she does want a friend to play with. As it turns out, another girl on her hockey team also regresses and is very open about it, and she and Riley become regression buddies.

Riley’s mom and dad completely encourage play dates and nurture the heck out of both girls.

The Emotions regress in order to help Riley regress, and while they mostly embody different parts of her regression, they do have a few traits Riley doesn’t.

Joy

She is the hyperest kiddo that has ever lived, constantly bouncing and running and playing and laughing. Every once in a while she collapses in a nap, but then she’s right back to being a wild child.

She’s super excitable. Absolutely everything is amazing to her, everything is cool, everything is fascinating. She just loves the whole world!

She is VERY bossy of the other emotions, even more so than she usually is. She wants everything to be exactly “right” at all times, and only her definition of right will do.

She loves playing games. Any game at all is fun for her!

She frequently calls up specific memories and plays alongside the memory version of Riley.

Sadness

She is the “oldest” out of the emotions, and tends to look after the others to a certain extent.

She experiences verbal shutdown when she’s regressed.

She is the biggest napper out of everyone. She can doze off anywhere.

She’s very cuddly and loves to snuggle the others.

She really doesn’t care about playing, but she likes to line toys up and admire them.

Fear

For Fear, being regressed means seeing everything as an even greater threat. Being small and helpless means absolutely anything could be dangerous!

But, on the other hand, being regressed means he’s especially trusting and so can be calmed down much more easily. If the others tell him something is safe, he’ll believe them almost immediately.

He LOVES to be swaddled. Being wrapped up is one of the most calming experiences for him.

 He also likes being talked to. The subject doesn’t matter, he just finds voices soothing.

He surrounds himself with familiar items and finds a lot of comfort in identifying them and exploring their textures.

Disgust

She is SUPER bratty, and very demanding. You never need to wonder whether she likes something because she’ll tell you if she doesn’t.

(On a related note, she’s the pickiest eater out of the group.)

Despite her brattiness, she actually needs a lot of reassurance. She feels really self-conscious about regressing and needs to be told frequently that it’s okay, she’s still the coolest, etc.

She is the most fixated on having regression gear. The others could take or leave pacifiers and bibs, but for Disgust, it’s VITAL she “looks the part”.

She loves to tease the others, especially Anger.

Anger

He’s the biggest mischief kiddo. He loves making messes and playing tricks.

His absolute favorite activity is building towers and knocking them down - but he gets enraged if they fall before he’s ready.

The biggest advocate for fairness - and by “biggest” I really mean “loudest”. Even if it’s a situation where he gets the better deal, he’ll yell “THAT’S NOT FAIR!” and correct it.

Out of the emotions, he’s the one who most enjoys playing by himself. He’s not interested in any group games.

It actually takes a lot to get him into full tantrum mode, but when he gets there, watch out. Endless screaming, throwing things, fire everywhere - it’s a lot.

#Eflen writes #Eflen headcanons #Inside Out agere #Inside Out age regression #Riley Anderson agere #Riley Anderson age regression #Joy agere #Joy age regression #Sadness agere #Sadness age regression #Fear agere #Fear age regression #Disgust agere #Disgust age regression #Anger agere #Anger age regression #sfw age regression #sfw agere #age regression headcanons #regressor headcanons

[hazelfoureyes]

hello love! i hope this question isn't too personal/straightforward (if it is, please just ignore it, there's no pressure to answer it!)

I just wanted to ask how you found out that you're aromantic? I thought I was asexual for a long time (turns out I am not at all) but I still wonder if I'm aromantic sometimes... I have never been in a relationship either and don't really have an urge to change that but I do find myself longing for physical contact once in a while?

sorry, this got kinda long, i hope you have a great day and take good care of yourself! 🩵

Trying to make Alastor display more romantic tendencies and struggling because I’m just writing down my own confusion on the subject 🫠

let’s get real on main, ya’ll!

It’s really hard to pin down being aromantic, because you’re trying to identify a feeling you don’t have. Like entering a very lovely room and living there your whole life, and then someone walks in one day and says, “We took out one item before you moved in. What item is it?”

There’s nothing missing from my room, as far as I can tell?? The fuck do you mean??! Yes I see my neighbor has a salad bowl but I’ve not once needed a salad bowl and honestly I’ve never enjoyed a salad in my goddamn life. Never had a meal and thought, “know what this needs? A salad.”

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

Researching Aro/Ace spectrum for writing tipped me off, because I kept googling “What makes someone aromantic” and getting frustrated, “Yes yes but what differentiates them from people like me??”

and then all these memories bubbled up in my mind

❥When everyone began dating in middle school, I said to my mother, “I have friends, I’m too young for sex. Why would I date?”

Because I didn’t know there was something else people got out of dating.

❥I would have crushes on people, and they’d asked me out, and I’d be so confused. No no—- I—- no, I just have a crush on you. I didn’t realize “crush” meant something different for them.

❥My sister lamented her best friend and her began having sex, and she wished they could have a relationship. I was so confused— fucking your best friend? That’s a relationship minus the titles. Again, didn’t realize there was more people experience.

❥What’s a romantic dinner? My friend listed all these things— alone, dancing close, looking into each others eyes, holding hands, deepening that connection. My dumbass said, “candles.”

❥If someone tried to maintain eye contact during sex and start talking to me about love, I’d kick them in the neck. The idea of someone looking at me longingly, trying to “make love”, makes my skin crawl.

❥Even now, if you ask me, “What’s the difference between your partner and your best friend? Why date person A but not person B?” Well person A is the person I’m sexually attracted to, my penultimate best friend, and I don’t get tired of their presence. I love them both dearly, truly love them. But I don’t (can’t?) feel a different love for my partner than I do my friends. It’s the same feeling for me.

I can’t help you figure it out, but I hope you find yourself happy to be as you are whichever label fits. I tried to give lots of examples of how my aromanticism appears in my life, hoping maybe you and relate to any of it. 🥺💖

#arospec #aromantic #ace alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction

[thechaoticdruid]

~My Tav for roleplay and story purposes~

Name: Winnie (Winnifred)

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Class: Druid (Her favorite form being the direwolf. I also like to imagine she has some doggy-like characteristics because of it lol), she's also multi-classing as a wizard for reasons.

Age: 23

Race: Human

Hair: Reddish brown

Eyes: Pink

Height: 5'3

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral (With a bit of a good lean I suppose)

Love interest: Astarion

Backstory: Winnifred was raised deep in a hidden forest village, amongst her fellow druids. Her grandmother was the archdruid of their circle and took to raising her after Winnie's parents went missing (aka the likely died horribly on an adventure.) Winnie lived a peaceful, but boring life in the village for thirteen years until eventually it was raided by goblins and everyone she'd known and loved was slaughtered before her very eyes. Winnie was captured by the horde's leader, a strange drow wizard who only allowed her to live because he thought she'd be the perfect test subject for his 'experiments'. She never learned his name, but since the event his face has haunted her nightmares. Winnie remained his lab rat for weeks following the raid. Eventually however her suffering came to an end when a band of adventurers came to her rescue. Apparently they were old friends of the family though she had never once met any of them. They freed her from the prison she'd been held in before setting fire to the goblins camp, killing every last one of the circle's murderers....Well all except for the drow...

Sometime after that Winnie was taken in by Arva, a half elf who just so happened to be the leader of her rescuers. She brought Winnie back to her group's hideout in Baldur's Gate's under city and for ten years Winnie learned how to survive on the streets, using some not so heroic skills Arva had taught her....

•Just stuff about Winnie•

Winnie is weird.

She rarely takes anything seriously and will usually use humor as a way to keep herself sane as she puts it.

She's definitely not a saint but there are some big no nos for her when it comes to morals. No harming innocents, children, or animals.

Self righteous rich tits can suck it tho

"Think you can just spit on me? Huh!? I'll bite your fucking ankles!"

Winnie is an insomniac with permanent raccoon eyes. Shh...don't say anything she gets self conscious!

She has really low self esteem when it comes to her appearance.

Growing up all the other children in her village used to call her ugly a lot. Pretty much all of them aside from a gnome child named Demi.

Winnie liked Demi. Demi used to call her tall.

Winnie isn't particularly romantically experienced. Mostly due to her low self esteem and urge to faint or run away screaming when around someone she finds attractive.

Astarion is her first everything really.

Moving on from that Winnie has a bit of an obsession with cheese. It's like her favorite thing ever.

If you have any she will steal it.

Her handwriting is awful.

She has a habit of pretending to be dumber than she actually is to throw people off.

She identifies herself as being interested in men exclusively, but if I'm honest she does have a bicurious streak.

Mostly because Karlach once asked her what she would do if Astarion was a girl.

Karlach is like her best friend, but don't tell Star he'll get jealous. Shhh...

Has a little plant in a small pot that she affectionately calls Vern.

Currently writing erotic Bloodweave fanfiction titled 'Blood Mage' as a side job to afford Astarion's costly wardrobe. Shhh.... don't tell Gale.

Likes to draw exaggerated doodles in her journal a lot. Usually illustrating important events in her life.

She often dwells on something she remembered one of the older druids saying before the raid. The elder druid described Winnie as "a weed amongst the flowers."

Winnie used to flip the old lady off behind her back all the time.

Will probably be updated and expanded on. Feel free to ask questions. I might make a separate one of these for my Durge .

IMPORTANT: While I am open to doing a little roleplay here and there I'm only doing it with users above the age of 18. Anyone without their age on their blog will be blocked or ignored. Also I'm not comfortable roleplaying the canon characters at this time so don't ask please.

#bg3 #bg3 tav #astarion bg3 #astarion x tav #bg3 rp #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 roleplay #my tav #baldur's gate 3 roleplay

[gabessquishytum]

So during the meeting, Dream mentions that he hasn't had much time to eat sense getting out of the circle and Hob hears this and refuses to let him leave until Dream has eaten something small. And Dream can't put his finger on why, but something blooms in his chest. It feels sort of like lust, but not exactly. So he asks Lucienne, who is a librarian of the Dreaming, not a human, she has no clue what Dream is talking about, but if he can give her a subject, she can find a call number. But dream can't do anything except call the feeling "The line of radiant pink over the Atlantic oceans right before dawn." or "The yellow glow of a candle light outside in the garden on a warm summer night," So Lucien can't really do anything to help. SO Dream decides that he must conduct the research himself and asks Hob if it is ok if he drops by multiple times for his research, Hob figures its some dream thing and he's looking for inspiration, so he says yes and to send Hob a note so that Hob can clear his schedule before Dream stops by. Dream first associates the feeling with food sense Hob always makes sure he's had enough to eat. But soon he finds the feeling when ever Hob tells him stories of his everyday life, when he holds the door open for Dream, when he takes dream somewhere and says "you're going to love it here!" he finds himself feeling giddy and warm. One day when Hob takes him to saint James park, Dream explains the focus of his research, and apologizes for not being up front sooner, but thanks Hob for helping none the less. And Hob, sweet, intellectual, beautiful Hob, turns to the man he's been in love with for over 600 years and says "Pardon, did you just say you were in love with me?" And Dream thinks on it for a moment, then laughs and says "That's the thing! Yes!" Which leads to Hob kissing Dream and then taking Dream back to the flat so Hob can get properly ride this dimwit.

This is really adorable ok 🥺

I just love the idea of Dream, who contains the entire collective unconsciousness, sometimes gets a little overwhelmed? It's like that saying, "it's hard to see the wood because of the trees". He experiences so much at once, so many emotions and complications and it actually just gets really hard for him to identify what he's feeling, as an individual being.

And of course he would ask for Hob’s help, because Hob has never denied him anything, and has always treated him with kindness and dignity. Researching this good, warm feeling with Hob only makes it grow stronger.

And then when between him and Hob they finally work out that the feeling is love... Dream feels like something falls into place and finally makes sense for him. He's been stumbling around looking for something and all this time it was right in front of him.

And the relief of knowing that Hob feels the same is nearly orgasmic. But not as orgasmic as the sex they have on Hob’s couch because they can't even make it to the bed 😌

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft

[thebreakfastgenie]

I've seen the idea around that BJ goes to great lengths to keep his life back home separate from Korea, which strikes me as odd because I think the opposite is clearly true. BJ is always trying to surround himself with reminders of home--everyone is, to some extent, but he does it a lot.

BJ reads letters from Peg aloud, sharing news from home with everyone around him, as if Peg and Erin are people they know. He eats and shares the homemade treats Peg sends. He brings argyle socks from home, which he washes but never wears, because they're a reminder of better times. Of home. Several episodes involve BJ getting into trouble by projecting his feelings about his own family onto a Korean family, or by compromising his objectivity by identifying too strongly with a patient who has a young family. Aggie draws him wearing a life-preserver that says "Mill Valley" because he told her about how he keeps his life back home present.

Oh How We Danced is entirely about bringing home to Korea, a gesture planned by the characters who know BJ best: Peg and Hawkeye. They believe he'll appreciate it, and by all indications, he does. That episode plainly doesn't make sense if BJ wants to keep home and Korea separate. But what about bringing Korea to home?

BJ doesn't just read letters from Peg, he writes letters to Peg, multiple times a week, sharing stories of his life at the 4077th. It provides the frame story for an entire episode, so we can presume a certain level of candor. This is further supported by BJ insisting he tells Peg everything, even planning to confess his infidelity before Hawkeye stops him. The infidelity itself is notable, because with the exception of a single slip he feels tremendous guilt about, BJ remains faithful, and is unimpressed by the attitude other married men express that being at war provides some kind of exception to wedding vows. But it goes beyond that. BJ doesn't just tell Peg about Korea and the 4077th about home. He physically brings them together.

In The Party, BJ is the one who first puts Peg in touch with Mildred, then decides to bring all their families together. He first envisions a reunion years after the war is over, indicating that BJ envisions a future where the members of the 4077th and their families stay in each other's lives. If the found family has an architect, it's BJ. BJ would have no reason to do this if he wanted to keep his life back home separate from his life in Korea. He does more than anyone else to bring them together. Not everyone is so sure they'll continue to be in each other's home lives--in Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen, Hawkeye seems to believe his friendship with BJ will perhaps not end, but will certainly not continue to be as close, once they return to separate lives.

An example of a character who does strive to keep home and Korea separate is Charles. Charles considers his assignment to the 4077th temporary at first and avoids putting down emotional roots. He's private and prefers to keep things to himself rather than sharing like everyone else does. To Charles, his real life is back in Boston and Korea is something to be endured until he gets there. BJ feels similarly--he describes himself as "a temporarily mis-assigned civilian," but he copes with it by keeping the life he's desperate to get back to as present as possible.

So during the war, BJ is eager to bring his life in Korea (at least the "good" parts) and his life back home together. There's no way to know whether BJ continues to do this after the war, because of course the story of MASH ends with the end of the war. Maybe he never talks about it once he gets home. There are certainly real veterans who make that choice, and it's understandable. War is a unique experience, and they may not want to discuss it with people who can't relate, or subject their loved ones to the horrors they witnessed. But it's equally possible--and perhaps more likely--that BJ has no such hesitation. That he continues telling Peg about the 4077th, as he did in his letters, that he entertains Erin with funny stories about Hawkeye getting one over on Frank.

BJ is one of the few characters who really sees a future back home that includes the people he met in Korea. Potter says he'd like to stay in touch, but isn't sure it'll really happen. Radar tries to make plans to stay in touch with Henry, who's less than enthusiastic, and of course that ends up being moot. Klinger and Radar both tease Charles about visiting. But BJ plans reunions and insists he and Hawkeye can keep up a long-distance friendship, one he explicitly includes Peg and Erin in. BJ takes home to Korea and wants to take the good parts of Korea home. He never tries to keep them separate.

#mashposting

[flipping-the-coin]

For optimus and ratchet; how often do you think about kissing?

[[TRANSMISSION RECEIVED: SUBJECT = QUERY…. SCANNING…. 99% THREAT LEVEL NULL = NO THREAT LEVEL CATAGORIZATION: REROUTING…. SECONDARY SCANS COMPLETE: TRANSMISSION = WITHIN PARAMETERES]]

[[TRANMISSION FORWARDED…. RECEIVED = SEEN]]

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I am... not the most comfortable answering this query. However I will state rather simply that I consider it far more often than I likely should be. It is not fitting for a Prime, not when my world still remains largely in ruins and its people fighting for order. Yet I cannot help but find my beloved alluring at inopportune times.

I am aware he is one of the oldest functioning mecha on Cybertron, and thus his frame is neither youthful or particularly in line with current trends. Despite that, I adore him. There is nothing about him I could ever find in my spark to despise. I almost always want to lean down to press kisses to his face and jaw when I see him in the halls. When he is stressed I constantly wish to touch every crease and exposed seam to ease him, especially when he is at his desk and trying to drink his concerns into oblivion. I want to bask him in my affection and smother his worries with my love. I would give anything to hold him in my arms during council meetings and kiss him until it all fades away. But of course, that is not acceptable, and it never will be.

It is most difficult to keep my mind away from his alluring derma when I am dealing with paperwork. It is an impossible task to perform such mind numbing work and not think about far more pleasant things. More than once I have found myself... warmer than I should be when left for cycles at a time to my own devices. I crave Ratchet's affection and his touch, and yet it is not mine to have... not now, not while I am still needed. Until times change, I can only give him a small portion of what my spark longs to offer.

I will forward your query to Ratchet so that he may answer as well should he feel so inclined.

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[[TRANSMISSION SENDER = OPTIMUS PRIME = PRIME OF CYBERTRON: LEADER OF THE AUTOBOTS: PRIMUS’S ANGEL: SAVIOR OF CYBERTRON: LOREKEEPER: SIRE]]

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You are rather nosy aren't you anonymous? Evidently Optimus thinks so too considering his response has been encrypted. However since he has forwarded me your not at all subtle prod at our personal lives, I assume Optimus would like for me to answer.

Very well, here is your answer.

If I am totally honest, I think about him whenever I am not occupied with anything more pressing. He is the most gorgeous mech I have ever laid optics on. The only runner up I can think of would have to be Deadlock. That mech was a piece of work, but he had quite a few of the traits I find so appealing in Optimus. Quite frankly I have not gone one cycle without thinking about kissing Optimus. He deserves it and it gets him out of his processors. Not to mention he is surprisingly good at it despite having no real experience. There is something electric about kissing him. Can you blame me for wanting to seek that feeling out more?

He's so uncertain when I finally get a moment to snag a kiss from him, but I can tell he enjoys it too. Our little moments are wonderful and I only wish they could come more often. It is almost impossible to not march over and kiss him when he is in his full primal garb. I don't think Optimus has ever looked more stunning than when the Chaplains and their assistants get him looking like a true demi-god. So far I have only gotten one kiss out of him when he is dressed up, but that was by far one of the best. Optimus is more confident when he is adorned fittingly for his station, not to mention Paradox always applies a little bit of tinted shiner to Optimus's derma when he gets my Prime ready. I don't know if he does it just to make Optimus more appealing or to bother me, but whatever the case, I thank him for it.

If I had the power I would steal Optimus away and kiss him until I am physically unable. But as Optimus loves to say "duty comes first". Slagging duty...

I hope that answers your query.

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[[TRANSMISSION SENDER = RATCHET OF IACON = PRIMAL STEWARD: CHIEF MEDICAL OFFICER: WAR VETERAN: HONORARY MILITARY OFFICAL: NURTURER]]

[[TRANSMISSION ENDS]]

#maccadam #transformers prime au #transformers #transformers prime #two sides to a coin au #optiratch #optimus prime #optimus responds #ratchet responds #ratchet

[selfhelpforstudents]

Hello. One of my spring courses has given us our booklist before the semester starts (though we do not have the syllabi yet, so I'm not sure how many of these books I need to read). I'm struggling with wanting to read the entire book because the subjects are so interesting, and with only want to read what I need for the class. Any tips?

Girls in Finance project server // other posts

Hey there! I totally get the struggle between diving deep into those intriguing subjects and figuring out what's a must-read for class. It's like having a buffet of knowledge, but not being sure which dishes are the professors' favorites!

Here are some tips that I would recommend:

Remind yourself of your motivation: Keep the big picture in mind. Remind yourself of the broader goals you aim to achieve through the course. Knowing how the readings contribute to your overall understanding and skill development can be a strong motivator.

Break down your goals into manageable tasks: Celebrate small achievements to stay motivated throughout the semester. Remember that a genuine interest in the subject matter can fuel your motivation to engage with the readings, making the learning experience more enjoyable.

Prioritize Based on Syllabus: Once you receive the syllabi, prioritize readings based on what is explicitly mentioned as required or recommended. This will help you focus on the essential material for your coursework.

Identify Key Topics: Look for key topics or themes in the course description or any introductory material. Focus on readings related to these topics, as they are likely to be central to the course.

Time Management: Assess your schedule and allocate time for both required readings and additional exploration. This way, you can strike a balance between covering the necessary material and delving deeper into topics that interest you.

Stay Flexible: Understand that the syllabus might evolve, and additional readings may be introduced during the semester. Stay flexible in your approach and be ready to adjust your reading priorities as needed.

Engage with Classmates: Discussing readings with classmates can provide insights into what others find valuable or interesting. This can help you make informed decisions about which readings to prioritize.

Utilize Reading Techniques: If time is limited, consider skimming or using techniques like SQ3R (Survey, Question, Read, Recite, Review) to efficiently absorb information from the readings.

Remember that the primary goal is to succeed in your coursework, but there's also value in exploring topics that genuinely interest you. Finding the right balance will contribute to both academic success and happiness in what you do! <3

Always reach out if you need anything!

Love, Sophia

#studyblr #studygram #study tips #motivation to study #study notes #studying #100 days of productivity #studyinspo #study blog #exams

[spontaneousglitterbees]

It's been mentioned that Kokichi has some phantom pains and he has clear mobility issues (love that btw as someone who uses a cane), so I was curious how the rest of the class is doing in that regard. Does Kaito ever struggle to breathe or have coughing fits? Do Rantaro and Angie get migraines?

[Talent Acquisition Pilot Program AU Masterpost]

This one. This one got away from me.

tl;dr: Absolutely, Anon, we are on very similar pages! This ask really got me thinking about how the whole TAPP!cast is doing fresh out of the Killing Game. Every student in Class 79 is going through something, about now, be it physical or mental; in fact, it’s usually both.

Also: for sure, I want to try and be relatively true-to-life with their struggles, especially Kokichi’s. I write from personal experience living with chronic pain, but haven’t used a cane before. Apologies if I miss the mark at any point.

Obligatory disclaimer: I am not a healthcare professional of any kind and the AU’s premise is largely sci-fi, so there may be inaccuracies. That said, I am fascinated with biomechanics and always looking to learn, so I’m trying to keep things at least semi-plausible.

Full spoilers for Danganronpa V3 (and some for the end of SDR2) ahead!

Very Long Loredump (~6.2k words) under the cut:

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?

Everyone is traumatized. That much is obvious, sure, but the Talent Acquisition Pilot Program (TAPP) is a virtual reality simulator based on the bones of the Neo World Program (NWP). In much the way SDR2’s NWP is purported to replicate death in the simulation in the players’ real bodies, the TAPP simulation is built to alter the brain chemistry of its participants. TAPP builds muscle memory and ‘burns’ new neural pathways to a participant’s Default Mode Network (DMN), a collective term for parts of the brain responsible for letting us “autopilot” common tasks like riding a bike or typing on a keyboard. The V3 cast’s experiences in the simulation impact their real bodies in a very literal sense to ‘speedrun’ them through orientation at Hope’s Peak and mainstream them in the curriculum as quickly as possible so its researchers can start collecting useful data on the merits of HPA for investors.

The problem is, nobody programming TAPP anticipated they would start killing each other.

Class 79 were the first human test subjects for the program with zero peer review or board approval, of course, because HPA is morally dubious and can pass off “dude, trust me” as genuine credentials to several world governments. Even if this massive oversight was not noticed until after the fact, V1 of TAPP did at least include one quasi-safety feature: if any player became “significantly injured”, that player would be ejected from the simulation. Everyone else would be locked in the simulation (in case one of them was involved and tried to evade consequences) until an administrator could come and manually assess the situation. In theory, the physically-unharmed student could rejoin the simulation once the conflict was resolved.

But TAPP was built to write data to the brain. It was not built to identify what data it’s actually writing, and cannot differentiate between playing the piano and getting smashed in a hydraulic press. Data is data.

It does not help that Team Danganronpa (the group of Reserve Course kids, including Tsumugi) are foolish teenagers entirely unaware of this, assuming that “none of it is real, so none of it will actually matter! we’re just scaring them!” While skimming through the code and thoroughly Knowing Not What They Do, they manage to remove any defined cap for what constitutes ‘significant injury’ before player ejection. The only flag that can set it off is a lack of any other player flags. Virtual death.

This is where Rantaro earns the title of “Ultimate Survivor”. The shotput ball put him down too quickly for the damage to be fully reflected in his physical body, so he managed to get ejected with post-concussive symptoms, short-term memory issues, and persistent migraines instead of fully dying. Were his method of death much slower, he’d likely have been screwed (and wouldn’t have Komaeda’s luck cycle to save him).

Time scales differently in TAPP than in the physical world; while Rantaro’s been at the virtual Academy for several days, the students have been strapped in their pods for a few hours at most. Between the Responsible Older Sibling Energy seared over the person he may have been before and an extant knack for escape room puzzles, Amami is The Man with the skills and motivation to call in backup.

It’s a good thing he did, too! Their “observer”, having tired of watching a bunch of students play the piano and run around outside, only figures out something has gone horribly wrong the moment Rantaro practically busts down the door. The next tense hour-plus is spent doing damage control and imposing limits on the code of the simulation to prevent TAPP from letting the students actually die. Unfortunately, the TDR kids and their takeover took a sizeable chunk out of the spaghetti code holding the whole thing together in their haste. TDR, with proposed talents like Ultimate Cosplayer on their side, are primarily concerned with artistry and are only competent-enough programmers. As a result, there is no obvious way to manually override the lock completely and just let the students out without significant defragging, even as TDR members are still actively messing with the code, and who knows how long that will take. (About 6-ish chapters)

Instead, for now, they’ll have to settle for putting as many programming-adjacent talents as possible on the case and exploit a loophole that panicking overseer managed to write: if the remaining students are systematically ejected, the program will bypass the lock and let them out. During the rescue operation, the main objective is first to minimize the physical damage TAPP can inflict by lowering the tolerance required to eject the students (which is easier said than done) and by dampening its neural-carving functions, then to get everyone left out of there.

It is a very good thing they sprung into action as quickly as they did, as it doesn’t take long for Kaede to arrive.

KAEDE

The first thing Kaede notices coming out of the simulation is that she can’t hum the notes to get back on-pitch after the worst rendition of Der Flohwalzer she has ever heard. The second thing she notices, because it is far easier to be angry about something trivial than face the slow-dawning realization you are having, is that she can only barely speak. It hurts.

I think Kaede learns to sign early on, but still finds herself trying to speak aloud anyway since she’s so used to having her hands busy already playing piano. Shuichi often reminds her to take it easy, treat it like a vocal rest, and steadily she begins to improve. She is as exuberant as ever, with determination fitting of our protagonist. Kaede is the Class 79 representative, though with his renewed confidence Shuichi often accompanies her. Not only are they best friends (though it is strange, at first, to see her alive after spending so long grieving. Kaede last saw him, like, yesterday.) and Kaede will inevitably tell Shuichi all about the meeting anyway so why not cut out the middle man,  but Shuichi initially came specifically to speak at meetings so Kaede wouldn’t strain her voice. She is immensely proud.

RANTARO (PT. 2)

Rantaro doesn’t hold the shotput ball against her; desperate times, and all. It made sense her proactive attitude would make her first to act for the ‘greater good’. She aimed to end the whole thing, not just comply. Even if she swung and missed, he (an older brother with faint recollections of failing to protect the people depending on him and guilt knowing he doesn’t have the stomach to take a victim and thus will be failing people in need of protection again) can’t fault her for swinging. She is confused when he asks her how she launched the ball that hard, though. Odd.

TENKO

Tenko has neck pain issues like Kaede, but hers are more acute. The seesaw effect was heinous but relatively precise; as the magnum opus of TDR’s homebrewed serial killer, they un/fortunately made him pretty good at it when he has a plan. Tenko has some of the least devastating lingering physical injuries of the class. Given the severity of her classmates’ injuries, though, that still leaves her with minor vocal strain, susceptibility to sore throats, and severe neck pain, among other things.

A lot of Tenko’s lingering trauma is mental: she isn’t quite as willing to immediately throw herself into the fray to help her friends, and certainly doesn’t want to leave her back exposed (a tendency she shares with Kokichi, of all people). While it did numbers on her perception of men again for a while, hearing about the trial left her with a lot to reconcile. In a ‘cool-motive-still-murder’ way, she does not forgive Kiyo (nor is she obligated to) but doesn’t hate him as much as she expected, either. Processing the idea that a girl could be horribly abusive, especially to a guy, and catalyze a cycle of violence… gets to her. She’s more wrapped up in the tragedy of the entire situation than the righteous indignation that’d fueled her for so long. Everybody lost that day.

She’s pleasantly surprised to see Himiko trying to lift her spirits now. Those two have a lot to talk about and boundaries to set, yes, but Tenko is still touched Himiko took her words to heart and seems to be benefiting from it.

ANGIE

Angie had bit more complicated situation than Tenko, getting KO’d before the fatal blow. Her migraines come on more often than Rantaro’s with high light, which is a special kind of awful for the SHSL Artist, but they’re generally closer to a dull ache. Once she gets going on a project she sets out to grin and bear it; Tenko and Himiko often check up on her. She does her best to stay just as upbeat as in the simulation, and if anything it seems more genuine now. She can actually relax, rather than mind-game her way to relative (unsteady) peace under duress.

(Angie is really interesting to me for many adjacent reasons to Kokichi, since they’re both willing to get morally gray and manipulative if it’ll keep everyone from killing each other. Angie-Kokichi compare contrast essay when?)

She hasn’t “forgiven” Kiyo either, but isn’t hostile while she evaluates whether or not his conviction in getting help and being better is genuine. She was pretty heavily affected by TDR’s “character rewrites” as well, after all, and empathizes with the feeling you’ve been used as a glorified dress-up doll. To some unknowable extent, she is a different person now, and it is frightening.

She’s trying to step back and re-analyze her sense of spirituality, particularly how it relates to her art. It’s existentially harrowing, having been made to toe the line between faith and fronting to either get people to either listen to her or not see her as a threat. She’s not even positive “Kami-sama” (not going with the localization here, my understanding is the Japanese version was deliberately more generic and at least a bit less disrespectful towards real people and their beliefs) is the same deity she’d believed in before TAPP, but it’s difficult to try and reconnect with your roots when none of you have any information on your previous lives.

They do, at least, have a resident anthropologist that might have a clue how to even start looking.

Hah. They sure do, huh.

I think Angie is the type to nominally forgive and never, ever forget. She holds the kind of grudge that lives beyond logic as all the compartmentalized emotions you don’t want to admit you have. A grudge that co-exists with an active desire to move on and seeps into her art.

KOREKIYO

Kiyo got burned.

Alive.

Also dead, somehow, an extension of the Ultimate Placebo Effect we have going on in the simulation; Kiyo was so certain ghosts were real and he’d be one that, through earnest conviction, the simulation made it so. I think this is how Komaeda’s luck works in SDR2 as well; the original Neo World Program was developed for therapy, and in doing so assesses whether or not it would be completely devastating (do more harm than good) to actively disprove something about the patient’s worldview at that time and adapts the environment accordingly. Hence you get a reality-warping luck cycle and ghosts are Definitely Real. Is either true in the outside world? No idea! Komaru talks to a ghost in UDG, once, but considering it’s unclear if Kiyo’s sister was ever a living person to begin with there are bigger fish to fry.

Or not. He’s pretty damn-well aware much that hurts. Or at least being boiled and seasoned does. Going by that kind of simulator-logic, I think in a technical sense it was the salt that killed him, not the torture. There’s probably something to unpack there I haven’t fully explored yet.

Rumors start going around campus that Kiyo is a vampire. It makes enough sense for watercooler gossip, the mask covering up fangs and an aversion to lingering out in the sun; Class 79 knows it’s actually because sunburn, for him, is a new brand of Unfun. He prefers to hole up in the library or his lab anyway, so it could be worse. He’s honestly kind of into becoming a school cryptid. It helps transition him from “avoiding my classmates and other people because they hate me, i also hate me, and we are all correct to do so. i am an extension of her so it does not matter what i want” towards “i am not my past, i cannot make up for what ive done but i can move forward and be better, i am forging a new self and it is mine this time and it always should have been”.

(Kokichi is particularly proud of having kickstarted the cryptid thing. Of course Shinguji would love to watch the evolution of new local lore in real time! Now he doesn’t mope in the corner half as much. He’s still in the corner, granted, but its probably reading while Rantaro sits next to him on his phone instead of moping!)

Kiyo’s also in therapy now. They all have therapy scheduled into their school weeks, but Kiyo has a session besides. Fabrication or not, everyone’s backstories are functionally now ‘real’ and need to be dealt with. Kiyo, Maki, and Kokichi got hit particularly hard on that front. Those scars run deep, but are starting to heal.

Of the students with whole-body injuries, Kiyo probably has the most manageable physical symptoms at this stage. He has to have long sleeves and generally keep as covered as he can so that he can subdue the part of his mind that expects the skin is still raw and flaking (it isn’t, but phantom sensations suck). Overheating pushes him toward a panic state like the end of his trial, which doesn’t exactly gel with the first point, but he’s working on it. Rantaro and Kokichi, occasionally Shuichi, tend to notice and start to defuse the situation. Part of me wonders if he’d have a black lace parasol on sunny days to lean in to the ‘mystery’ around him, plus for the sheer Aesthetic of it.

KIRUMI

Speaking of full-body injuries: Kirumi. She has similar ‘got-to-keep-covered’ issues to Kiyo, particularly wearing heavier work gloves now just to minimize any potential for cuts (and, in the back of her mind, ropeburn). Breaking several bones on impact was rough, though fast enough that she’s had remarkable improvement in a relatively short period of time. She started out on crutches, which made it difficult for her to keep up with her workaholic inclinations, but unlike some of the other students she has at least an idea of “when to quit” as not to make things worse. She’s still genuinely lost some bone density resulting from her treatment and coping methods, finding that she really does need to lean on her friends on occasion, but she is still resolute she is a care-giver, damn it. On both physical and mental fronts she’s dealing with reclaiming her agency and independence.

Kirumi is one of the few, with Maki, whose talent courses actively discourage the kinds of behavior they need for personal growth and mental health maintenance. Kirumi is still reconciling her “rewrite”, the encoded passivity in her and clash of her “selfless devotion” against her own will to live and thrive, a nightmarish reminder that You Are Not Your Own. The “Ultimate” maid needs to be agreeable, to follow orders, and hasn’t the tampering just improved her proficiency at her craft? Why be so upset? Never mind having to reconstruct her proper ability to tell people “no”, having to re-learn it’s okay to do things for yourself; according to her programmed instinct, her classes, those very things are antithetical to her talent. And everything relies on that talent, doesn’t it?

Kirumi and Kokichi are the two in Class 79 who were discharged with mobility devices that got students in the other classes… more than mildly concerned about what the hell happened to all of these freshmen (well, first year at HPA anyway), but luckily for HPA administration they’re also probably the two people least likely to offer details.

THE RIBS

There are enough students who have chest pain and associated issues that they made a club about it. It started out as Miu, Ryoma, and Kaito all independently concluding there was no way in hell they were making it through a mile run and sitting on the bleachers. Once they’d had an opportunity to gather themselves again, they do as teens are wont to do and started talking to each other. Hypoxia is an oddly effective experience to bond over. They call themselves the RIBs, standing for “Respiratory-Issue Beleaguered” (students), mostly because it made Miu laugh and for as irritating as the sound could be they’d missed it.

Kaede, Tenko, Gonta, and Kokichi also stop by from time-to-time, meaning precisely half of the 14 active Class 79 students revolving-door through this unofficial student group. HPA took notice. Class 79 has its own gym class, now, taking into account the state of everyone. One could argue that should have been the case from the onset. They would be correct.

RYOMA

Ryoma is fairly elusive. He generally keeps to himself and remains a Fairly Chill Guy with a cool temperament everyone wants to emulate (he doesn’t see what they see in him) and some Complicated Feelings now knowing he hasn’t killed anyone in the certified Real World and, by logic, should not have to have the memories of a hardened prisoner. He still does.  The persistent rasp in his voice now surprises nobody, but it took a few days for everyone in the class to stop flinching a little hearing it. He frequently hangs out in the animal shed with Gonta, Gundham, and Peko to take care of the cats.

MIU

We’ve seen quite a bit of Miu in the AU so far, but to recap a lot of her deal:

She loathes having to “take it easy” but will do so reluctantly

She tries to talk less to stretch out her working time as much as she can (even if she can’t resist just a little banter when Kokichi swings by)

She’s trying to approach her death with a sense of humor. A choker with a huge heart-shaped buckle replaces her usual necklaces with full awareness of the irony. Ha-ha, a choker. It’s a dare for anybody to bring it up, ‘I’ve said it before anyone else could’. The first thing she did waking up was try and make an autoerotic asphyxiation joke. It did not make her feel better like she thought it would.

Miu spends most of her time in her lab, now. Granted, she did that already, but she’s particularly fixated on re-creating a certain Ultimate Robot, ground-up if she has to. Fortunately, she has a team assembled (re: two upperclassmen and the Ultimate Supreme Shit-for-brains). We’ll see how this pans out soon enough.

When not re-building Kiibo outright, she ““takes a break”” innovating in other areas (re: prototyping potential features for kIIbo, usually testing them on a bored Kokichi. He usually complies because Miu is one of the few who doesn’t look at him with a patronizing amount of pity she’s Not boring. Mm-hmm. All there is to it.)

Miu does not resent Gonta (or Kokichi, for that matter) for killing her. There's a small extent to which she's a little relieved she was stopped from going through with her plan to kill Kokichi, and a much bigger disconnect between her idea of reality and her memory of Chapter 4. Miu died in a VR game within another VR game. Having messed around with the programming and guts of the nested simulation personally, it still seems fake. She didn't really die, no matter how real it felt; they were in a simulation. Logically, she's well aware of how it works and the consequences, but it doesn't feel like it was more than a glorified fever dream on an emotional level. Both Gonta and Kokichi are more outwardly traumatized by her death than Miu as a byproduct of how she's processing it. She's not "better off" or "less impacted" so much as "disassociated from the whole thing and very much wanting to put it behind them before it catches up with her", thus burying herself in work and trying as hard as she can to bring back the one person she wants to comfort her.

Kiibo's absence is not great for her abandonment issues. It is hard to blame him when he never had a physical body to begin with, though. 

GONTA

Gonta is also with the RIBs, and reeling from it the most visibly of everyone on account of just how. Much, his death was. An allergic reaction blocking off the air, puncturing at least one lung for certain, and living long enough to feel the shrapnel of the laptop lodge into the wound alongside the scythe, the fire quickly eating away any oxygen, any hope of gasping another breath… yeah no he acts as much the gentleman as ever but he is not okay. As Resident Buff Nature Boy Gonta tanked it better than anyone else in the class could have, but the sheer excess of the thing gets to him. Fond memories of setting a campfire in the woods with his adoptive family are overwritten, vespidae in general… hitting differently. But Gonta is kind, to a fault. More resolute than ever to make himself into a kind of person not perceived as ‘too intimidating’ to be friends with, acknowledging the capacity he has for violence is difficult. Somewhere deep down he knows that everybody does, especially in their circumstances, but still acts as though his case is exceptionally bad (nobody else does. This does not deter him, becoming a little less gullible when its least helpful).

He is also not as disconcerted by the occasional spontaneous sensation that your insides are going to lose structural integrity, even with no stitches to pop, that with only the damaged wake and no piercing sharp pain to focus on and blame for the mess could potentially be perceived as a bizarre, abstracted kind of crawling feeling from the inside-out. Things in motion, displaced from where they are meant to be. He knows it isn’t bugs, isn’t glass and metal and plastic, that it isn’t anything but himself. A teeny-tiny part of him wishes it were. At least being shelter for a hive of some sort would be helpful. Aren’t gentlemen helpful, they improve life for people, make things better and how could anyone even look at you again knowing what you’re capable of, who in their right mind would talk to you, you’re going to end up alone again talking to stray cats in the alley since not even the wolves would stay—

Gonta also has extra therapy. He already had to work out self-worth issues, but the game pushed them to interfere too much in daily life not to actively work on.

KAITO

Kaito has made several background and supporting appearances without much central attention just yet. It's not that I don't like him or anything (I do!) but I guess because it seems like well-worn territory in V3 fic to me? Kaito is endlessly proud of Maki and Shuichi (Himiko too, less personally) for "winning" in the face of the killing game, and the training trio of them meet back up again regularly. Only.

It's different, now. 

He's no longer sick and dying, but his lungs 'top out' at a certain level of activity and refuse to take in more air, this burning sensation that leaves him only able to huff and wheeze and brings his training regiment to a dead stop. He treasures those last moments in his failed execution where he got to see the stars, because a lingering anxiety in the back of his mind won't let him forget that he never will again. Not the way he'd dreamed of, the way he'd planned to, the way he'd centered his identity around. There is no way, as things are, that he will pass all the physical exams to become a proper astronaut. 

The drawn-out deterioration of his health during the simulation chipped away at his physical lungs at a rate too gradual for the countermeasures the rescue team implemented; TAPP did more overt physical damage to Kaito than anyone else. It could certainly be worse and he is gradually improving, but some degree of it is permanent. It haunts him. He's trying not to think about it.

It does, though, drive a wedge between him and his sidekicks; the survivors are planning their futures, and Kaito is not too far from a slight tailspin without any idea what his might look like for the first time he can recall. Space has been the dream since he was a kid (as has getting there in this specific role) and it almost feels like a rejection. Like he got too cocky, and the cosmos decided it didn't want him. 

It starts to make a little more sense, then, that he starts willingly hanging out with Kokichi. They went through the hangar together, of course, but even besides the traumabond (and a need to, after he woke from his coma, make sure the little brat is still alive, damn it, you can't run away anymore it counts now) but. If anyone else gets having such drastically shifted circumstances that life as you'd imagined it no longer makes logistical sense, it's probably the leader without an organization. There's no need to explain the feelings of inadequacy, or the aimlessness, going through the motions of classes and formal education because what the hell else am I going to do, right now? It's familiar. 

Kokichi needs someone willing to chase him, no matter how circuitous the route becomes. Kaito needs someone willing to shake him by the shoulders and snap him out of his own head, so sure it's all-or-nothing and that if he can't be the Luminary as he'd dreamed of it whatever happens next is immaterial in comparison. Kaito needs to adapt and roll with the punches, Kokichi needs to double back from his logical leaps from point A to point Q and articulate his thoughts clearly to other people (at least some of the time.) The two of them concoct little daily and weekly rituals, like Kokichi stealing Kaito's notebook and drawing in it, just because the consistency of company reminds them both that they aren't the only one going through this. 

None of the other students quite get it, but have come to accept it.

KOKICHI

Then there’s Kokichi.

Ah, Kokichi, whose whole deal in this scenario inspired me to write about this AU at all (and who manages to weasel his way into every comic and a other entries in these notes) . I’m biased, I know, but there are also a few reasons he’s singled out in-universe as well:

A) So a hydraulic press does not slam down quickly. The pause-and-play of the video deliberately makes it look much faster than it was; watching enough of the hydraulic press channel makes it abundantly clear that it was not instant. Kokichi was impaled with two crossbow bolts (the one in the back being bad enough already), poisoned by those bolts, and then pressed. He had to have felt non-zero of the Pressing, which, considering it already had to be agony before bones started breaking… the rest of the class might not have been fond of him, sure, but he’s right there with Gonta on “sheer level of excess.” Not even Maki is at a point of wishing that on him. Not after finding out how drawn out and excruciating it was. Veering into headcanon, I’m going to add “sleep deprivation” on the pile as exacerbating the whole thing, given his conspiracy whiteboard and everything after the concussion, honestly.

Combined with the World’s Worst Placebo Effect, King Horse takes the crown for top “my entire body hurts most of the time” severity. It’s not a desirable one, but when your previous life is all but erased there is exactly one choice available between Big and Home. Let it be said Kokichi Ouma has never half-assed anything he’s set his mind to, ever.

B) Ouma is paranoid and distrusting, which adds the psychological angle of “you literally shot me in the back” to a poison-laced crossbow bolt in his mind. TAPP will very literally never let him forget the bolt burying itself in the muscle of his back, barely kept from severing his spinal cord; he won’t forget the shivering and shaking from the poison, or the bile rising in the back of his throat handing Kaito the antidote. (He still wanted to live. He forfeit the right, he thought, after getting Gonta and Miu killed, but he still wanted to. That was all the more reason to quadruple-down on the press idea and making their three deaths mean something, damn it. Three, because Kaito could live. If the killing game ends there is no execution. It’ll be over. Can’t take back the past, but at least one of the pair of you has to walk out of this forsaken place!)

(… Can you really believe that? Or is it just another lie.

A lie you want, with all the heart they’re so sure you do not have, to blithely believe. There has to be a cure for whatever the hell has gotten into Kaito once the game ends and they can look for it, it might even stop cold the moment the game ends. That dumbass space cadet can go back to his sidekicks and he better appreciate it, the comradery you’ll never have, because he is the designated Hero and Heroes get happy endings. You want-want-want-want to trust in that lie, to trust him with the collected thoughts and notes and pieces of you spilled across reams of paper that have been so pointlessly important for you to keep secret this whole time. For once in your life, you want to believe you will not be betrayed. You want to believe in the closest thing you have left to a friend.

It will, in fact, be the last thing you do.)

C) Ouma is paranoid and distrusting. Again. Only this flavor has more to do with his persistent denial anything is wrong, in turn making things a lot worse for himself. Mental trauma and impressions of physical sensations can have physical effects. Clinging to his persona and trying to keep bouncing around like nothing ever happened turned a very difficult but potentially manageable condition into small amounts of permanent nerve damage within the first day of waking up. It screws with his coordination; just what he needed at a school that prizes talent above all else, when he is a leader with no organization and proficiencies in sleight of hand, forgery, lockpicking, and generally evading anything that might threaten him because he can’t take very many hits.

Whoops.

D) Kokichi was last of the class to wake up from the simulation, even after the survivors. They thought he was actually dead for a bit. Just when they were thinking of  giving up on him Kokichi Ouma, SHSL Stubborn Son of a Bitch, refuses to stay down for the count.

HPA already knew Class 79 would need accommodations on account of their negligence, but it became much harder to sweep things under the rug when they thought they’d actually killed a student. Even worse, thirteen witnesses have been actively fraternizing and scaled the flashback-gaslighting required to cover it up to easily exceed what their current technology is capable of.

Half the class was positive Ouma was playing dead specifically to fuck with them and light the fire under them to act. He and Kaito are the only ones to know without a shred of doubt that he was not. He still gladly takes the credit, though.

E) Class 79 as a whole already adapted to Ouma Being Ouma, so when the definition of ‘Being Ouma’ expanded he’s still pretty distinct. He hangs out around the people closest to him often, particularly Miu, Kaito, and Rantaro, but the entire class knows now that he’s pretty much beyond the point of perfidy. Even if he were to lie about being in more pain than he is at a given moment, there’s constantly enough underlying truth in how vulnerable he is that it’s not strategically worth trying to use as a manipulative tactic. It’s too real. Plus, he knows better than to boy-that-cried-wolf his way out of help from his classmates after getting lost on campus once and fainting before he found his way back.

K1-B0

K1-B0, as far as has been established, is being re/built. Miu is spearheading the project. Presumably, he is currently hanging out on at least one computer in the school, somewhere. Per the AU, though, Chapter 6 did go a bit differently than canon, so we’ll catch up with him soon.

TSUMUGI

Nobody is exactly certain what happened to Shirogane. Or, at the very least, nobody in the class knows. Admin is certainly not about to tell them. Wouldn’t it be just like the Ultimate Cosplayer to Theseus her way back into their lives following a single loose thread…

THE SURVIVORS

Shuichi, Maki, and Himiko each emerged from the simulation minimally physically harmed in a lasting sense beyond initial fatigue from being hooked up for so long. Each is still moving forward on their established character arc: Himiko is finding her motivation, Maki is learning to open up, and Shuichi is becoming more sure of himself and his detective abilities.

I think Himiko begins embracing the 'stage' side of her magic, considering that TAPP was blocking my mana, and you know what? I survived a killing game, and I didn't even need it. What else can I do without my mana? As time goes on, she'll likely value her own practical skills more rather than relying on her want of more fantastical powers. Not to say she'd disown them, but more that she could admit to herself it's more for fun than a need to affix something exceptional to her identity. She is enough as she is.

Maki enters HPA and immediately requests transfer out of 'Ultimate Assassin' classes. She hates fighting, per canon, and after going through the simulation she is no longer afraid of any authority figure that may deny her because she has certifiably seen worse. She initially tries to pivot and become the Ultimate Child Caregiver, for Real This Time; she is genuinely pretty good with kids. After a little incident nearly choking Kokichi, though? It confirms what she'd been afraid of all along: her patience is too thin, her instinct to defend too heavy on the trigger. She talks to Peko about it, among other people, Mukuro and Sakura chief among the other classes. She'd made their acquaintances during combat training in the first few days at HPA. She especially confides in Kaede, who carries a more-domestic-less-battlescorn perspective on it she can't help but appreciate. Kaede takes her to not-Claire's, playing with accessories and make-up and generally reclaiming some of the girlhood Maki has effectively never been allowed to have. In the whole process, Maki realizes she wants more than anything to protect the ability to have that kind of frivolity, that freedom: she changes tracks again, to become a SHSL Bodyguard.

Shuichi is a difficult one to place for me, exactly. He's in a state of becoming significantly more confident in the wake of the simulation, but the deviation from canon has turned the main conflict away from ending a destructive cycle and towards fighting the idea of predetermination by an external force. Shirogane was predetermined to stay in the Reserve Course despite her skills and aspirations, and railed against it; Kiibo was predetermined to be an AI helper and not a person, but embraced the role so hard he developed a soul of his own; Maki denies her talent and changes her destiny, Himiko embraces hers.

I suppose Saihara must fall somewhere in the middle, then. An observer steadfastly declaring that yes, there were aspects of life shaped for them beyond their control (entry into the simulation if they wanted a taste of success, the killing game, the "character rewrites" overriding the people they were before...) and yes they cannot control everything. What happened has happened. There are always going to be things you can't control (like how severely you burn in the sun, or whether you get headaches with the lights up too high, or even if your dream life rockets away too fast for you to catch unless you want to lose what you still have) but you can adapt to it. It's tempting to give in, to consider it all a lost cause, to submit to the forces you feel are puppeting you, but see. You keep living anyway, because you have to. The only way forward is through. Even if you were a puppet, you're still an independent you, and that means something. Maybe you can't snap your strings, but you can sure as hell stretch them out and bend them in a way you like better than this one.

Not having total control doesn't mean the control you do have doesn't matter.

So Shuichi is taking up cases as a detective, now. Seeing how he likes it. If not? Well. Skills are transferable. 

He'll be okay.

They all will.

----

(The first screenshot I took of this ask to begin drafting vs. the last one:

I'm sorry I am bad at timely responses but I hope they are Good.)

#answers #Anonymous #danganronpa #dr #new danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #killing harmony #kokichi ouma #ouma kokichi #kokichi oma #oma kokichi #glitz dr comics #rantaro amami #kaede akamatsu #angie yonaga #korekiyo shinguji #miu iruma #gonta gokuhara #kaito momota #maki harukawa #shuichi saihara #ndrv3 spoilers #TAPP AU #post-game AU #dr post-game au #SO technically the whole gang is here but I tagged the ones I wrote the most about is that fair? #i didn't draw for this one bc i didnt know what to draw and also focused on concepts #which im really hoping are good

[blacklegsanjiii]

Ah ! I’ll go by Wine then ✨

That’s kind of unfortunate but also insanely funny to me, the siblings have to go through the typical arospec experience of not rly knowing how to identify romantic feelings and being super oblivious to flirting and the like… and god forbid they ask Sanji as the most “normal” sibling, either. He probably has an insanely rose-tinted view of the whole thing and his waxing poetic about how wonderful love is wouldn’t be good as teaching material at all, it’d just be like reading one of those romance books again. They’re on their own, because asking their parents is also embarrassing as hell!! Their adventures are going to be fruitful for sure if they hope to learn anything the not-awkward way.

Though also side note I feel like Reiju pulls the most. All of them are attractive in their own right but Reiju is a pretty lady with a gentle confidence to her that knows how to make you feel special in conversation even when she isn’t completely aware she’s doing it. It drives women crazy . When all of them have a better gauge of this romance stuff they keep complaining to her. She stole all their game. She should share some of her mystique with the class since she has so much. They get kinda too dramatic with it.

- Wine :]

Welcome wine! But yeah, there's five kids who all call their parents gross when they get those particular looks or Mihawk pays Sora those specific words that make her flush. When the kids are out and about and being flirted with no one really understands what's going on, except for Mihawk, Sora, and Sanji. The kids will all be out and about in, hear me out, numbered tank tops that show a lot of skin. You know they're all built and Sanji's three patterned soulmark on his shoulder that creeps up his neck is on display. Also you know it was Yonji who convinced them to wear these and have them made.

Of course they're all being flirted with and Sanji returns it in kind while his siblings are all confused. He explains but it is rose tinted glasses, maybe because he grew up with his parents and has a soulmark. They probably ask him about it once, individually and Sanji talks about it like it's so cool and nice and it sounds cool but they also just....don't get it. They read books on the subjects. Mihawk noticing and just bringing home more. Books about sex, sexuality, gender, soulmates and marks. And of course there are romance books too and comparing notes. Of course if Mihawk or Sora offer any help or conversations the four of them scream and run.

Of course when they feel confident enough to start flirting or flirting back Reiju does pull the most and has the most game. She is drowning in people but she also only acknowledges flirting when she wants to. Her brothers, minus Sanji, all ask for advice. So she gives them what works for her but honestly? They can never match her because of that confidence you mentioned and most of the time she doesn't know she's doing it. That's part of why Perona goes so hard with flirting with her during the time skip because they would mesh so well if Reiju could like stay aware of the flirting. Mihawk and Sora are trying not to laugh at her dismay because they know how difficult they're children can be but also it's really funny.

It'd also be spectacularly hilarious if 124ji mention off handedly that his swords remind them of Sanji and before further explanation can be given they are crying about missing their brother. Sora really asks them, her twenty year olds, if they think it's appropriate. They cry harder in response about him being missing and missing him.

#black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #zosan #1234ji #vinsmoke reiju #dracule mihawk x sora #mihawk x sora #vinsmoke sora #vinsmoke ichiji #vinsmoke niji #vinsmoke yonji #zoro roronoa #perona #op perona #hawkeye mihawk #dracule mihawk #answers #soulmate au #loved!sanji

[theofreakingbell]

✨🏳️‍⚧️ a special announcement🏳️‍⚧️✨

so some of you have known this for a while. some of you haven't. and I've wanted to make this post for a while but I haven't had the energy, or the brain space and quite frankly I feel so safe on here I straight up forgot I haven't come out yet. soooooo

I've been trying to write this post for a while now but I haven't really known how to. I'm torn between writing something super casual because I feel very comfortable on here which feels TOO casual, since it's a big thing. and then I want to write a ton of words and touch on some more really personal notes but I don't have the energy for that rn honestly, and I know part of myself feels like I must justify it with showing people my pain, which is wrong and I shouldn't have to. Maybe someday I'll write something longer on the subject, but for now, here goes. 

I'm trans :) 

my pronouns are they/them and he/him and I am a nonbinary man. It took me a long time to find words that felt like they fit my experience but so far I like those the most. I am both :) I also identify with genderfluidity because it feels like it fluctuates how much is what, but stays consistently under those two 'realms' of gender, as it were. migratory bird. lol

Since this is this blog I also want to say that Loki has been a vital part of all of this, and I may write more on that at some point because it's been a huge thing in my life. I tried writing a coming out letter to my family once and ended up writing about Loki for ages, not instead, but because I had clung to him like a life raft in some of the worst times of my life for reasons, and a lot of those reasons have to do with gender. his presence and validation in that realm and others literally saved my life when I was younger and getting to love him and experience him as myself with a heck of a lot less shame than I used to carry about loving him and with the knowledge of myself and why I love certain things has been one of the most legitimately happy and wonderful things I have experienced these last few years, which have largely sucked otherwise bc of health stuff. Y'all are a big part of that happiness and I am so so greatful for you and I hope you can accept this about me :) 

❤️❤️❤️ - J

#blurb

[syneilesis]

[fic] paralepsis

paralepsis

Ikemen Prince | Chevalier Michel | G | 1.2k words ao3 link

Twenty facts about Chevalier Michel.

A/N: Chevalier Character Study Attempt Number 2. In this one, I leaned towards a particular flavor of his characterization. No spoilers for Sariel's route (I haven't read too far yet to include new info about Chev); just rambling about expansionist!Chevalier.

1. Emotions have always been a foreign concept to him.

1.1. The first emotion he’d learned was fear.

Not him as an active subject but of him. The object of the emotion. It started with the eyes: how people’s eyes slid away from him, even though he had to tilt his chin up and remained looking at them. Then came the head, how it bowed down, almost subservient. Then both the voice and the body: a trembling that could not be hidden, but painstakingly restrained lest they appeared weak to a child like him.

It’s then that Chevalier had to learn the necessity of observation.

2. Chevalier has eidetic memory. 

Paired with observation, it allows Chevalier the capability of absorbing and assessing information.

(A sharp memory has its drawbacks, however. Chevalier, up to this day, remembers with vivid clarity the emotion his mother displayed when he was found blood-soaked in his bedroom, a knife in hand, a corpse at his feet.)

3. He is a natural with swords.

Every hilt fits in his hand, as if they all are made for him.

4. He is a natural with everything else.

It’s why he’s called a genius. It only takes him a glance and he will have mastered it. They call it abnormal, this phenomenon, a once-in-a-lifetime blessing (curse?). His parents should have been proud of it, of him, but – 

5. For a short period of time, he knew of his mother's love.

A father’s – that’s another story.

6. He knows of love through books.

It’s how he’s identified in retrospect the queen’s fleeting love of him.

6.1. His understanding of human emotions comes from books.

There’s knowing, there’s understanding, and there’s experiencing. Chevalier possesses the first two, never the last. There is a difference between them: knowing is not understanding, understanding is not experiencing. One can know without having to understand, and one can understand without having to experience. Knowing is a matter of identifying, and understanding is a matter of identifying patterns. If, then. A conditional statement. If I am kind to you, then you will be kind to me. A cause and effect. A reciprocation.

If I show you what I can do, then you will listen to me.

7. He has a strong sense of responsibility.

There’s a difference between responsibility and obligation. In responsibility, you take; in obligation, you receive. Chevalier takes, because he understands that power is a responsibility.

8. He knows the value of a life.

Despite how easily he takes them.

(He knows and understands the physics of swordblade cutting flesh and bone. He has experienced it.)

9. As a royal, Chevalier decided long ago that his existence is solely in the service of his kingdom.

9.1. It doesn’t matter if he does not become king; the responsibility still remains.

10. Contrary to popular belief, Chevalier is a simple creature.

He only wants one thing and one thing only: the continued existence of Rhodolite.

10.1. This makes him a straightforward and narrow-focused man.

(In this vein he is ruthless but predictable.)

10.1.1. To the point that morality and ethics are just mere suggestions, not pillars to be unquestionably followed.

(What are morality and ethics when faced with existential questions?)

10.1.2. He's a fierce advocate of pragmatism.

10.1.2.1. Ideals are a dream, unfit for the waking world.

(One can argue that his goal for Rhodolite is an ideal – thus a dream – in itself.)

11. It baffles him that people think he’s difficult to understand.

12. Chevalier adheres to a particular taxonomy.

Everything in the world can be classified by its degree of usefulness to him. The higher the usefulness, the more likely he wields its name.

In some cases, usefulness and worth are synonymous with each other.

13. As a lover of books, he has a keen relationship with words.

(In another life he would make a formidable lawyer.)

14. He doesn’t care what others think of him.

But he does acknowledge the power of a collective. He still is, after all, just one person. Against many, it can be challenging to sway hearts and minds. Compromise is crucial. A constraint, sure, but a crucial one.

Only to an extent.

(He is still called the Brutal Beast in spite of these constraints. One wonders what would happen if a beast roams free, unencumbered.)

15. Like all other princes, Chevalier works towards a prosperous Rhodolite – without enemies, without threats.

Leon calls it peace. Chevalier calls it order.

16. Unifying the kingdoms in the region is but a logical conclusion to Chevalier’s goal.

If they are to achieve true peace, then it follows that all wars must cease. Wars, by definition, are waged by different nation-states with each other. What else is the solution except eliminating borders?

(The question of civil wars remains, but Chevalier has a lifetime’s worth of experience in quelling internal problems.)

17. He is a manager, not a leader.

A leader inspires and bestows hope upon his followers. He is better off as the face of a group. But a manager – 

A manager controls. Organizes. Oversees the system so that the ship runs smoothly. Takes care of any mishaps. Deals with risks and threats. Handles everything down to its minute details. He works to maintain a functioning body. He works to maintain its existence.

Leon, Chevalier acknowledges, is a leader. People look to him for guidance and assurance. He’s certainly charismatic enough for it.

But Chevalier doesn’t need to be at the forefront to achieve his goal. He doesn’t need to be a king to bring into reality what he wants for Rhodolite. It’s actually better that way: to become king is to be exposed to constant scrutiny. If he wants results (as all managers want), then it is best if he works amidst fewer prying eyes.

That way, there is less constraint and more freedom to do what needs to be done.

18. He believes that the Belle system is a flawed and absurd system.

(Why put the fate of a kingdom onto a young, naïve girl who has neither knowledge of, understanding, or experience in politics and governance? Who in their right mind would do that?)

19. He does not see himself as superior to everybody else.

Comparison displeases him. It does not work that way. You work with what you have. You improve what you have. To the point where you can weaponize it. This is so your worth will never disappear.

20. Chevalier is not a perfect man.

What is perfection anyway? It’s just an arbitrary measure for things people find sacred and uncanny.

Whatever they say of him – perfect, a beast, inhuman, monster, someone removed from humanity – Chevalier knows that he cannot do everything. He deals with the cards he's given. And where he lacks, he fills the gaps by utilizing what's around him. Skill, talent, capability, resources – they are useless if you don’t know how to wield them.

Perfection does not exist. And if it does, it’s just an illusion. It’s all semantics, anyway.

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikepri chevalier #chevalier michel #ikepri fic #fic #my fic #ikemen prince chevalier #this is actually inspired by a xmfc fic lol #reading that blew my mind #ugh i hate tumblr's lack of text formatting options #just getting this fic out of my system