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#cognitive distortions
schizodiaries · 9 months
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list of cognitive distortions
Cognitive distortions are biased and negative thinking patterns not based on fact or reality. They impact how we see ourselves/others and are usually associated with depression, anxiety, or trauma. (Note: this list was given to me by my therapist and is not my original writing.)
All-or-nothing thinking — You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
Overgeneralization — You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
Mental filter — You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water.
Disqualifying the positive — You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
Jumping to conclusions — You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. A) Mind reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out. B) Fortune telling: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.
Magnification (catastrophizing) or minimization — You exaggerate the importance of things (such as a goof-up or someone else’s achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or other people’s imperfections). This is also called the “binocular trick.”
Emotional reasoning — You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are. “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”
Should statements — You try to motivate yourself with should and shouldn’t, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders. The emotional consequences are guilt. When you direct “should” statements towards others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.
Labeling and mislabeling — This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to them. Mislabeling involved describing an event with language that is emotionally loaded.
Personalization — You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event, which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.
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creatingnikki · 8 months
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On a rainy evening when your eyes pour as you leave someone’s home, it’s okay to hold yourself together with the warmth of a latte and the silence of your company as you occupy yourself with work. It’s okay because maybe by the time you finish the food you ordered with your coffee you will realize that you were very hungry. And as you get more of your work done, you will realize that you were lowkey stressed about getting it done at the back of your mind that whole time. And as you keep quiet and not force yourself to articulate anymore you will realize that you were just done with socializing and your social battery being below red was what was making you feel off when you were leaving that home earlier. And by the time you are done at the café you will realize that this evening you successfully overcame a bunch of the cognitive distortions that fuck with your mind like emotional reasoning and jumping to conclusions and all-or-nothing thinking. And then you can realize that the last six months of therapy have helped. And you may also realize that you are simply like a child who gets cranky when they get hungry and tired and that instead of some sort of emotional outburst which is unnecessary and confusing you just need to step away, feed yourself and rest and recover. And if even after that you feel off or low, we can investigate and confront. But first, let’s just check in with the first level of your Maslow’s hierarchy needs - your physiological need to eat food and nourish yourself in a timely manner, your need to keep yourself hydrated with water, your need to use the loo (even though you hate using any restroom outside of your home’s), and your need to sleep and let your body and mind rest. And now, we can leave this café on this rainy night with a smile and more confidence in our ability of taking care of ourselves, of understanding ourselves better, and of improving and healing. 
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traumatizedjaguar · 2 months
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Humans are the most disgusting species. Everything with them is all about violence, harming people or animals, lying, and hedonistic behaviors. Nothing is about forgiveness, love, or virtues anymore. Virtues have become deeply stigmatized it’s seen as laughable to even practice them.
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thedaddycomplex · 1 year
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Years ago, I was ranting to my therapist about why everything felt like such a struggle, that no one else had issues like mine, and that I was alone in the world because of it. She grabbed a textbook from her shelf and opened it to a chart like this.
Not only were my problems not unique and of my own creation, they were literally a textbook case.
And that was the start of me working on those distortions.
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hexpatient · 2 months
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another fucking miserable cycle of violence:
therapsychiatrist: you never know until you try! :)
me: i have tried. multiple times in different ways. really really tried. lots of times repeatedly and it failed.
therapsychiatrist: .... anyways, you never know until you try! (Bonus points for:) Thinking you know it will go poorly this time because it has gone poorly all the othertimes is a Fortune Telling Cognitive distortion! you never know until you try! :)
this is 1. gaslighting 2. if it's negative, it's a lie, or your fault 3. toxic positivity 4. the obfuscation of knowledge and reality testing by disregarding what has happened all previous times and acting like it has zero significance (which i suppose is also just gaslighting but. i wanted to be more specific.)
not to mention, the MANY MANY times i did try again for real, and reported back that it failed again! who'da thunk! they blamed it on my mindset or sabotage or my negative thoughts poisoning the outcome (new age thought magics). i dont even remember how many times this happened. trying to prove i know what imtalking about, increasingly losing grip on reality because what kept happening was that things didnt go well, but it was fully denied or blamed on me, and so i kept trying and kept trying and kept trying and kept trying,
what exactly was i trying? i was trying to get my mom to stop abusing me by telling her what she did hurt me and asking her to stop. other times it was like, insensitive peers jeering at me or being rude or cruel to me in group therapy, and when i told the therapist i didn't trust them, she just told me to give them a chance????? and other kinds of things that were harmful to me just to try! that took bravery and effort and difficulty that i made myself incredibly vulnerable by trying repeatedly.
and i got hurt. i got hurt repeatedly. and i kept trying because i was not allowed to just say "this is fucking toxic! im going to stop making myself vulnerable! or otherwise doing stupid bullshit like asking my abuser nicely to stop abusing me!!!"
it broke me. my self esteem, my sense of danger, my ability to recognize a bad situation/person, my knowledge and grip on reality, my respect for myself and my sensitive parts (intimate knowledge and vulnerable inner bits), and it quite literally became a compulsion to recklessly dive head first into situations that were not going well, because you never know until you try! give it a chance! and never fucking stop no matter HOW BADLY IT GOES!! never stop!! never give up! and making myself as vulnerable as possible. and i still am trying to stop doing this.
i am having to try and teach myself how to not compulsively endanger myself anymore. so yeah science based health care.
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selectivechaos · 5 months
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hiding hobbies/interests.
don’t know how much this is a universal social anxiety thing but, i get so so scared of telling people my hobbies and interests.
feel like the passion will be judged. and i always convince myself that the person will hate/dislike the show/movie/music that i tell them i like.
this is a cognitive distortion because i can’t possibly know that. i can’t know they won’t like it. we could share the same interests.
and there is nothing within the show/music that is particularly bad; it comes down to subjective taste, and so i really have no reason to believe that they will hate it.
the belief derives from low self worth and the ‘core condition’ (specific to me) that i am not good enough. that my interests are wrong, unworthy of being reified, lame or pathetic.
when i try to think of a tv show that could not be critiqued or disliked, i can’t think of any. this means there is always the chance that someone will laugh at your hobbies.
but there is also always the chance that they will share your passions, love the same things as you, get all your references, see things the way you do. and this possibility is what my brain systematically ignores. it filters out positive possibilities. 🌹🌹
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unwelcome-ozian · 1 year
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this-is-me19 · 1 year
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I’m case you need help with your own coping skills and understanding your brain (All images are from Pinterest and are in various places on my own account):
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mental-mona · 1 year
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Cognitive Distortion in Thinking About Gender Issues: Gamma Bias and the Gender Distortion Matrix
By: Martin Seager and John A. Barry
Published: 2019
Introduction
The seed that grew into my (JB) interest in Male Psychology was planted at a seminar on clinical psychology during my undergraduate degree at a respected English university in the mid-1990s. The group had spent a lot of time exploring possible theory-based reasons for female depression (e.g. the female gender role leading to learned helplessness), but then swiftly glossed over the subject of high male suicide rates with a “humorous” remark: “men construct more lethal methods because they are better at DIY”. This raised a few giggles at the seminar, and the group quickly moved on to the next topic. However it struck me as odd that my educators—and psychologists in general—appeared to have little serious curiosity about the causes of a fatal issue like suicide. I presumed that this would change, but I heard the same DIY explanation in 2016 at a public talk on gender at LSE, also greeted with giggles from the audience. Clearly this phenomenon—a cognitive distortion involving the minimisation of the importance of male suicide to the point of near-invisibility—was difficult for people to overcome.
Cognitive distortions can be defined as “the result of processing information in ways that predictably result in identifiable errors in thinking” (Yurica et al. 2005). Since the 1960s, a growing number of distortions have been identified. Aaron T. Beck (1967) originally identified cognitive distortions in his work with depressed patients. The six errors he identified were: arbitrary inference; selective abstraction; overgeneralization; magnification and minimization; personalization; and absolutistic, dichotomous thinking. Since that time others have extended Beck’s list. In this chapter we are postulating a newly identified cognitive distortion, gamma bias.
Gamma Bias and the Gender Distortion Matrix
A range of examples of gamma bias are described in the gender distortion matrix, and they fall primarily under two categories: magnification and minimization. Magnification is defined as “the tendency to exaggerate or magnify either the positive or negative importance or consequence of some personal trait, event, or circumstance” (Yurica et al. 2005). Minimization is defined as “the process of minimizing or discounting the importance of some event, trait, or circumstance” (Yurica et al. 2005).
Table 1 describes the gender distortion matrix. It is a 2 × 2 matrix, and in each of the four cells, the experiences, behaviours or characteristics of men and women are either magnified or minimised. The matrix describes how it can be good or harmful to do certain things or receive certain experiences. Unlike either alpha bias (magnification) or beta bias (minimisation), each cell demonstrates that certain gender issues are both magnified and minimised. Whether an aspect of the gender issue is magnified or minimised depends upon whether the issue is related to men or women.
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Table 1 The gender distortion matrix, describing examples of gamma bias i.e. situations in which aspects of our perceptions of men and women are magnified (upper case/italics) or minimised (lower case)
In this paper we argue that there is much evidence in everyday experience, and some in research, which supports the existence of gamma bias. Note that we do not suggest that gamma bias is eternal and unchangeable. To the degree that it is changeable, we suggest that it is very important that we rectify, or at least recognise, these distortions. When discussions of gender are distorted, this misshapes the narrative and warps our public attitudes, policies and conversations about gender. For example, as a result of widespread gamma bias we tend to believe that:
men are more harmful than helpful
women are more helpful than harmful
men are more privileged than disadvantaged
women are more disadvantaged than privileged.
Examples of Each Type of Distortion
We list below some preliminary examples of the very public ways that these distorted attitudes to gender are reinforced continually in the English-speaking or Western world. Examples will at this stage be brief and schematic, but hopefully sufficient to demonstrate the face validity of this new hypothesis, which will be subjected to rigorous empirical testing in research over the coming years.
Doing Good (Active Mode) (Celebration/ Appreciation)
Female Magnification
We celebrate women publicly—for their gender alone—in the archetypal realms of beauty, fashion, sexuality and motherhood.
The UN has got four days dedicated to women: International Day of Women and Girls in Science, International Women’s Day, International Day of Rural Women and International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.
The Royal Society in the UK and other institutions worldwide have at various times held “Wikipedia Edit-A-Thon” days, when people are encouraged to add the names and achievements of women to Wikipedia, in order to make women in science more visible (Huffington Post 2012).
Suffragettes—female suffrage has been selectively celebrated in writings, films and the media as a gender issue, minimising the lack of suffrage for half of the male population in the same historical period.
The careers and achievements of women in science, politics, business and education are actively promoted and celebrated as a gender issue.
Women in the military and emergency services are celebrated for their gender and not just their actions.
Male Minimisation
We do not celebrate men collectively for their gender alone, only the particular achievements of individual men.
The UN has no special day to celebrate men. In many countries International Men’s Day has been celebrated on November 19th since around 2010, but this is not recognised by the UN.
The heroism within the military and the emergency services is often remarked upon in the news. However, the almost exclusively male gender of the heroes is not marked. In ceremonies to pay tribute to war heroes we acknowledge their brave deeds but not their masculine gender. We also include women when celebrating war sacrifice so that celebrations become gender-neutral rather than gender-specific. Recently, the rescue of a group of boys by male cave divers in Thailand was celebrated, but not marked as a gender issue or as an example of positive masculinity. In the Titanic disaster in 1912 most men were drowned (80%) but most women (75%) were saved. Men were clearly acting heroically to protect the women and children, but this, though a famous story, has not been celebrated as a story of positive masculinity.
Working class sacrifice—the complete physical infrastructure and security of the UK and other nations has been built and maintained almost exclusively by working class men. This is reflected in the fact that to this day in the UK men account for 96% of deaths at work. The same picture is found across the world. Clearly men continue to do the heavy, dirty and dangerous jobs in all societies. However, males who are builders, miners, firefighters, quarrymen, road workers, deep sea fishermen, scaffolders, steeplejacks, navvies and who occupy many other dangerous professions are not celebrated for their gender in a positive way. The image of male builders, for example, still tends to be more “wolf whistler” than “DIY SOS” hero.
Male suffrage—the vote for men has never been celebrated as a gender issue even though 44% men also only got the vote for the first time in 1918 and at a time when men had been sacrificed in large numbers in World War One for the protection of society.
We do not celebrate fatherhood or male childcare. Indeed in many ways public attitudes towards men as caregivers of children are negative, ambivalent and even suspicious, even amongst politicians (Dench 1996).
Male sexuality is typically viewed in public life and policy as a source of harm, threat, abuse and power. The joy and positivity of male sexuality is rarely celebrated today, except indirectly through the arts.
Doing Harm (Active Mode) (Perpetration/ Toxicity)
Male Magnification
Negative attitudes towards masculinity have become widely accepted in mainstream public discourse in recent years. In contrast to the “women are wonderful” effect (Eagly et al. 1991), contemporary men are subject to a “men are toxic” effect. The notion of “toxic masculinity” has emerged and has even gained widespread credence despite the lack of any empirical testing (see chapter on masculinity by Seager and Barry). In general terms it appears as if attitudes to men have been based on generalisations made from the most damaged and extreme individual males. An example of this is the case from 2016, when a young woman called India Chipchase was raped and murdered. There were two men in her story: the rapist/murderer, and her grieving father who movingly stated “I will never get to walk my daughter down the aisle”. However, the media attention following this tragic event focussed almost exclusively on a sense of urgent need to teach boys and men in general to respect women. This suggests that in terms of public attitudes, the rapist/murderer was being viewed as more representative of masculinity than the victim’s father.
The concept of ‘rape culture’ has also developed and gained credibility, originating in the USA in the 1970s. However, in 2012 figures for the USA as a whole show that 0.6% of adult males had been registered for sexual offences (including rape), meaning that 99.4% were not. Even allowing for some inevitable under-representation, and whilst recognising that one rape is one too many, the evidence suggests that the vast majority of adult males are not sexually violent or dangerous. The public perception, however, is very different, especially in an age of “#MeToo” and “Enough is enough”.
In the UK and elsewhere the image of domestic violence and intimate partner violence (IPV) is almost exclusively one of male perpetrators and female victims. This is reflected in “treatment” approaches to IPV such as the “Duluth model” which is aimed exclusively at males (see chapter by Powney and Graham-Kevan). It is also reflected in the provision of places in refuges for victims of IPV. In 2010 in the UK, for example, whilst male victims accounted for at least 33% of IPV victims, less than 1% of a total of 7650 refuge places were available for men. Research evidence of equal levels of IPV by females (e.g. Archer 2000) is still not being reflected in public attitudes in this area (Seager 2019, in this volume Chapter 12).
Female Minimisation
We have already seen (above) that evidence of equivalent levels of domestic and IPV by females (e.g. Archer 2000) is not reflected in public attitudes or policies.
There is evidence that women receive less severe sentences for the same crimes (e.g. Starr 2012; Mustard 2001).
The high level of online emotional abuse by women (cyber-bullying) (e.g. Marcum et al. 2012) is not reflected in public attitudes or policies.
52% of men in a sample of high-security prisoners who had committed serious offences against women and had been sexually abused in childhood were found to have been abused by female abusers acting independently of men (Murphy 2018). However, the picture of sexual abuse portrayed in the media does not reflect this complex gender picture of sexual abuse. Those who propose a social transmission theory of “toxic masculinity” would have to take account of the fact that male children spend significantly more of the developing years in the company of adult females than adult males.
Parental alienation, a diagnosis newly added to the ICD-11, is a form of child abuse involving one parent alienating their child from the other. Evidence has long shown that the father is more often the victim and the mother the perpetrator (e.g. Bala et al. 2010). Briggs, in another chapter in this volume, also shows examples of clinical cases in which mothers have alienated children from fathers prior to psychotherapeutic intervention.
Receive Good (Passive Mode) (or Privilege)
Male Magnification
The whole sociological concept of “patriarchy” (see also chapter on masculinity by Barry and Seager) is predicated on the idea that it is a “man’s world”. Specifically, society is viewed as inherently privileging and advantageous for men and organised in ways that empower men and disempower and exclude women. This bold and sweeping hypothesis has received widespread acceptance despite being subject to relatively little academic evaluation, let alone being subject to empirical testing as a scientific hypothesis. This uncritical acceptance of a radical theory by mainstream society in itself indicates that gender distortions may be in operation on a large scale. The concept of patriarchy focuses on an elite group of more powerful and wealthy males, whilst minimising the vast majority of men who are working class men, homeless men, parentally alienated men, suicidal men and other relatively disadvantaged male groups. It also minimises the benefits and protections involved in motherhood, family and domestic life for many women including the potential joys and rewards of raising children. Also the concept of patriarchy minimises the hardships of the traditional male role, such as fighting in wars, lower life expectancy, higher risk-taking and working in dangerous occupations.
Young women in the UK are now in fact earning more on average than their male counterparts (see below), yet the gender pay gap is misunderstood and presented as an example of women’s oppression, primarily because of dubious and selective methods of measuring and comparing pay. Even when men are earning more, there are other “trade-offs” and risks that men choose to take on that confer counterbalancing disadvantages (Farrell 2005). However, the public perception and emotional outrage on gender pay are out of proportion to the actual differences that emerge if the matter is analysed more scientifically.
Female Minimisation
As we saw above, there is evidence that women receive less severe sentences for the same crimes (e.g. Starr 2012; Mustard 2001). Women also enjoy better health and living conditions than men (Carcedo et al. 2008). Mothers who are prisoners also enjoy better access to their children than fathers who are prisoners (Collins et al. 2011). And yet in terms of public perception there is an image of women being “oppressed in a male-centric prison system” (e.g. Baroness Corston in The Guardian 2018).
In OECD countries at the present time significantly more young women than young men graduate from school and college. According to figures supplied by the Guardian newspaper (2017), for every 13 girls who entered university, only 10 boys did so. The education gap has seen boys fall behind girls in the UK since the 1980s, and 30 years later it has become usual for women in their 20s to be earning more than their male peers, and has been for some years (Guardian 2015). There are still more male senior academics and professors than female in academia, but apart from this 0.3% of jobs at the top of the educational hierarchy, the rest of the hierarchy—from primary school onwards—favours females (Brown 2016).
Parental privilege—it is a widespread practice in many countries that in legal cases of parental dispute over child custody, sole custody is awarded to mothers rather than fathers almost by default.
Maternity privilege—when children are born, antenatal, perinatal and postnatal services are highly female-centric and the role of the father is generally not thought about or included. The assumption is that fathers are not as important to children as mothers.
Protection—we have seen (above) that both in times of war and peace women enjoy the protection of men at times of great threat.
Elsewhere in this volume (Chapter 10) Belinda Brown presents evidence indicating that females enjoy power and privileges within the domestic and household domain.
Receive Bad (Passive Mode) (or Victimhood)
Male Minimisation
Men across the globe have a significantly lower average life expectancy than women. As we have also seen (above) men account for almost all deaths at work both in the UK and other nations. However, in terms of public attitudes and beliefs, these facts are relatively invisible. Certainly, no concept of a “gender death gap” has been proposed.
Although there are signs of this changing, for years there has been less investment in prostate cancer than breast cancer, even though the rates of death caused by each are similar (around 10,000 per year for each in the UK).
The vast majority of rough sleepers (85% in the UK) are male but there are no gender policies to address this.
Boys have been falling behind girls in education since the 1980s. Boys are now in the UK around a third less likely to attend university than girls. This however has met with no political action and has never been referred to as the “gender education gap”.
In almost every country across the world men kill themselves at a higher rate than women do. This is now starting to be recognised, but research into suicide and services for those at risk have remained relatively “gender-blind” (Seager, in this volume Chapter 12).
When in distress, women tend to want to talk about their feelings whereas men tend to want to fix whatever is causing the distress (Holloway et al. 2018). However our mental health services are delivered in a “gender blind” way, so that treatment options that might suit men better are rarely considered (Liddon et al. 2017).
Issues that impact males more than females such as colour blindness (in 8% of boys and 0.5% girls), tend to be overlooked, despite the significant impact on QoL (Barry et al. 2017). For example, although coloured graphs are difficult for colour blind students to read, a large educational board in the UK recently declined to make graphs in exam papers more colour blind friendly.
Bedi et al. (2016) found that there are significantly more psychology papers dedicated to women and women’s issues compared to men and men’s issues.
Field experiments of domestic violence show that bystanders intervene if the victim is a woman, but keep walking—or even laugh—when the victim is male and the perpetrator female (e.g. ABC News 2010).
In Nigeria in 2014, 300 female students were kidnapped by the terror group Boko Haram, prompting an international outcry. At the same time, however, and in the same country, as many as 10,000 boys were abducted and many even murdered. However, this even greater outrage went almost completely unnoticed in the media.
Whilst female genital mutilation (FGM) has rightly received widespread condemnation, male genital mutilation (MGM) has been relatively ignored, despite evidence of harm caused to those who are circumcised.
Female Magnification
We have already seen (above) that in the field of domestic violence and IPV, the emphasis is largely on female victims and treatments for male perpetrators, when the reality is that both genders are equally capable of such abuses (Archer 2000; Fiebert 2010).
We have also seen (above) that the concept of “rape culture” exaggerates the perception of men as potential rapists and creates a climate of fear for women. Campaigns such as “#MeToo” can also play into a sense of fear that is based on distorted generalisations from small samples of damaged men to the whole male population.
The Boko Haram example (above) provides strong evidence that there are much greater empathy levels for females than for males. Correspondingly, our sense of female victimhood is magnified and our sense of outrage is increased by virtue of the gender of the victim rather than the crime.
Why Do These Gender Distortions Exist?
It is challenging to think about the possible adaptive function of biases and errors, but an adaptive value helps us to understand their existence, as well as absolving people of blame for holding them. Haselton et al. (2015) highlight some of the adaptive functions of cognitive biases, and suggest that our evolved adaptive responses can sometimes act against our self-interest when faced with novel modern rules.
Why We Favour Women
The “women are wonderful” effect (Eagly et al. 1991) predicts a type of “halo effect” for women. This effect means that we magnify women in the Do/Good cell. This might involve a certain amount of what Beck (1979) call emotional reasoning, where one’s emotional state guides conclusions about self and others. Such views would be expected if the effect is the result of positive views about women being created from positive early experiences with mothers and other female caregivers. It also makes sense that women are more valuable than men, because of their importance in reproduction. A very basic way of understanding this is to think about the question of which hypothetical village would have the better chance of survival: the one with 100 women and one man or the village with 100 men and one woman? The answer to the question demonstrates the unquestionable value of women to human survival.
Why We Disfavour Men
On an evolutionary level, males can be seen as the providers of protection, not the recipients of protection (Seager et al. 2016). It makes sense that someone should have the role of protecting offspring, and also protect those who give birth to and nurture the offspring. Thus social attitudes would have been calibrated accordingly over many thousands of years to associate femininity with nurturing and vulnerability and masculinity with protection and strength. Because of this, it would be more difficult—both unconsciously and consciously—to feel the same level of emotional sympathy for a male than a female. For the man, it might also therefore be difficult to deviate from the script of the protector and seek help. By the same token, it might also be difficult for society to see men as victims rather than protectors.
Another explanation, which is probably an extension to the previous rather than an alternative explanation, is derived from research in social psychology. The phenomenon of ingroup favouritism and outgroup bias is a cornerstone of social psychology. The strength of such biases vary by group e.g. it is well-established that higher-status groups invoke more ingroup bias (e.g. Nosek et al. 2002). Men in general (historically and cross-culturally) have had higher status than women in the public realm (politics, finance etc.), so one might expect that male identity invokes a high level of ingroup bias. However research shows that—uniquely in social identity theory—male identity, unlike female identity, invokes no significant ingroup bias (e.g. Richeson and Ambady 2001).
Men support each other effectively when the identity is based on something other than being male (e.g. football teams), but how do we explain the incohesive effect of male identity? There are several possibilities. For example, it could be that because infant attachment mostly happens with mothers, this programmes for greater bias towards women in later life (Rudman 2004). Similarly, it could be that men are stereotypically more associated with violence and aggression and thus invoke less sympathy even from each other (Rudman and Goodwin 2004).
It is likely that seeing men as protectors rather than receivers of protection leads to a lack of sympathetic bias in their favour, and leads to male gender blindness (Seager et al. 2014), the phenomenon where men’s problems go relatively unseen. This in turn facilitates the gender empathy gap, the phenomenon where males receive less empathy than females, even when in a similar predicament (Barry 2016).
Intersectionality as Male Gender Blindness
According to a much-cited paper by Professor of Psychology and Women’s Studies, Stephanie Shields, “Intersectionality, the mutually constitutive relations amongst social identities, is a central tenet of feminist thinking and has transformed how gender is conceptualised in research” (Shields 2008, p. 301). According to this view, men are historically privileged and therefore don’t generally deserve help or attention unless they are also members of another historically oppressed, disempowered and marginalised group (e.g. gay, BAME or disabled men). Intersectionality is therefore sometimes used as a way of criticising or devaluing efforts to understand issues facing men in general by deflecting attention exclusively onto specific marginalised sub-groups of men, and so minimising the importance of universal issues facing men.
On one level, the idea of intersectionality has merit in the same way that interactions in ANOVA help identify interesting differences between subgroups of the main variable. But there is one major flaw with the intersectional level of analysis when it comes to understanding male psychology: there is a main effect of being male that runs through all levels of the variable. For example, when it comes to suicide, not only do men in general kill themselves more frequently than women, but BAME men kill themselves more frequently than BAME women (Oquendo et al. 2001), and gay men attempt to kill themselves more frequently than gay women (Bagley and Tremblay 2000). Similarly, the academic underperformance of boys cuts across all social strata and geographies (Curnock-Cook 2016). We should note that firm statistics are not always available related to demographic groups, but what evidence there is tends to support the idea that men in general, not just specific demographics of men, need our help. “Drilling down” into data can be enlightening, but focusing on a single tree might not tell us much about the forest. Focusing on specific issues facing subgroups is of value to the individuals in these groups, but should not be used to distract attention when we are trying to understand wider issues in male psychology.
There are various ways in which male gender blindness is both a cause and effect of the ways we study gender. For example, it can be argued that the concept of “masculinities” is largely based on subjective judgements by theorists trying to make the case for alternatives ‘hegemonic’ masculinity. Interestingly, at the same time as magnifying different varieties of masculinity, these theorists tend to minimize difference between men and women, an approach which is a type of gamma bias (see chapter on gamma bias by Seager and Barry). Moreover, in attempting to identify multiple versions of masculinity, theorists run the risk of obscuring masculinity as a unitary phenomenon. This means that focusing only on a plurality of “masculinities” doesn’t help us address more general issues related to masculinity and may even distract us from doing so.
By looking at men only in terms of the other sub-groups that their gender intersects with, there is in truth the great danger that we will miss the wider gender issues altogether. By defining men only in terms of their sub-group identities (e.g. by race or sexuality) without honouring their collective group identity as a gender, the needs of men of all kinds are likely to be overlooked. If men across various demographic groups, for example, appear to respond in a similar way to therapy (as suggested by Groth in his chapter on existential therapy), then it is likely that the concept of intersectionality is of much less practical or clinical value than the underlying concept of gender itself.
Like the blind man who touches the elephant’s tail and then thinks an elephant is like a snake, those who dismiss the idea that men in general need help are committing the cognitive bias of selective abstraction: instead of appreciating the whole picture, they focus on just one part of it. If science is to understand the problems facing men, scientific investigation needs to examine how some discussions about gender tend to distort the issues, making some parts of the picture invisible and magnifying others as if they were the whole picture.
Unconscious Bias Revisited
Some or all of the phenomena described in the cells of the matrix can be considered types of unconscious bias. Distorted narratives that put men perpetually in the role of toxic abuser, risk alienating men from themselves and others, leading to what might be called a state of gender alienation. As pointed out by Damien Ridge in his chapter in this book: “the disconnection between theoretical discussions and the daily reality of men promotes a poverty of understanding of male subjectivity... Masculinity has essentially become what different theorists and their followers say it is”, and something that probably means little to the average man.
The Patriarchy Revisited
Essentially, patriarchy theory (Walby 1990) is a distorted and untested way of explaining the differences we observe in the reproduction-based division of labour. For example, women are seen as oppressed by the role of “housewife”, and men are seen as liberated in the role of “breadwinner”. However this is not the only way of viewing traditional gender roles. For example, Dench (1996) suggests that women can have a much more rewarding role in the private realm, and men can have a much harder time in the dangerous, dirty and soulless world of the workplace. Dench also suggests that the idea of the traditional male role as desirable rather than a burden was a way to encourage men to accept a supporting role in society, one that is ultimately of lesser value. Similarly, Van Creveld in his book The Privileged Sex (van Creveld 2013) hypothesises that women have always had privileges (e.g. ‘women and children first’, less dangerous jobs) and that this is something that most people unquestioningly accept as a good thing.
Nobody’s life is without suffering, but the suggestion that women have been oppressed by the patriarchy is at best an untested theory and at worst a damaging distortion. At best, it is like looking at the famous rabbit/duck illusion and claiming that there is only a rabbit and no duck, or that the rabbit is being oppressed by the duck. Once evolutionary biology is honoured rather than dismissed, it can be seen that the traditional family structure is based primarily on reciprocal and evolved reproductive roles. Thus the greatest influence on the balance of gender relations, is perhaps none other than the great matriarch herself, “mother nature”.
Criticism of the Preliminary Evidence of Gamma Bias
The evidence that we have presented above might be criticised on the grounds of confirmatory bias i.e. the tendency to select only information that supports your view. At the time of writing (August 2018), gamma bias is being presented as a hypothesis that promises to explain broad patterns of data in relation to how issues of gender are perceived, expressed and responded to both in academia and elsewhere in life. The examples we have provided are incomplete and inevitably selective, but we are confident that they offer preliminary support for the existence of gamma bias.
Future Research
The gender distortion matrix offers many examples of how the gamma bias hypothesis can be tested. As we write, a new research programme is being organised by the Male Psychology Network, and no doubt our hypothesis will be modified in light of the findings. To enhance ecological validity, real-world examples might be found in newspapers (e.g. the Boka Haram comparison) or the cinema, and assessed. The same principle might be expanded to academic writing and work. It might even be possible to quantify the degree of distortion within a given news article or academic paper. These are just some very basic ideas which we are happy to see others elaborate upon.
Conclusions
In academia, beta-bias and the gender similarities hypothesis are encouraged to such a degree that the term “sex differences” now has an air of controversy, and to point out differences between men and women is considered somewhat distasteful. Perhaps a more acceptable term than “sex differences” is “gender distinctions” (Lemkey et al. 2016) with its connotations that both genders have attributes that are unique and positive.
There is a serious risk arising from using terms such as “toxic masculinity”. Unlike “male depression”, which helps identify a set of symptoms that can be alleviated with therapy, the term “toxic masculinity” has no clinical value. In fact it is an example of another cognitive distortion called labelling (Yurica et al. 2005). Negative labelling and terminology usually have a negative impact, including self-fulfilling prophecies and alienation of the groups who are being labelled. We wouldn’t use the term “toxic” to describe any other human demographic. Such a term would be unthinkable with reference to age, disability, ethnicity or religion. The same principle of respect must surely apply to the male gender. It is likely therefore that developing a more realistic and positive narrative about masculinity in our culture will be a good thing for everyone.
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We sometimes imagine what the world would be like if we'd never had religion.
Imagine what the world would be like if Gender Studies and feminism had studied evolutionary biology, evolutionary anthropology and evolutionary psychology. If we understood men and women, male and female, though actual science, evidence and empiricism, rather than fundamentalist quasi-religious adherence to superstitions about invisible demonic forces and cabals of secret conspiracists.
Reminder that Implicit Association Tests as used in DEI training are famously unreliable. Part of it is that they're keyed to only a single variable, typically race, and have extremely low replicability. And the people conducting them are quacks and frauds. The same test, when taken again by the same person, yields radically different results. It functions as little more than dowsing.
However, when other variables are controlled for, the one and only consistently reproducible implicit bias is pro-female/anti-male bias.
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futilechildhooddream · 8 months
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so for opposite-action therapy the recommendation is to do the opposite of the emotion, like where depression wants you to isolate so it can be helpful to go out and see people
for all-or-nothing behavior, the opposite action is finding the middle ground
want to avoid the problem or pull an all nighter to address it? start the work and set it up for future you to have an easier time, and get some sleep
i find a similar thing works for “shoulds”. The opposite of should is action:
i should do laundry -> i want to do laundry (or have it done with) so I’ll do the first step of this action (getting up/gathering dirty clothes/setting a timer/sitting in the laundry room/insert action)
i should be studying -> i am resting (or set a timer til time to study/plan a meeting time for study group/open the study materials/set a five minute timer and see what you can learn in that time/text a friend what you’re learning about in class and explain it to them)
opposite action can be really helpful
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creatingnikki · 8 months
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It’s another rainy day in another rainy week and I wonder if you are in your studio painting and drinking coffee out of that camera lens shaped coffee tumbler while I sit here drinking iced coffee out of a giant tea cup writing about you on tumblr. Ha. You would have liked this word play. 
I have been thinking about fathers a lot lately. Not my father per se but just fathers as a concept, as a hurdle, as a wound. As a burden, a punishment, a tragedy. Fathers and daughters as a failed relationship, a sea of sadness, a pit of rage. Apologies and jokes and sweet photographs from childhood before anything was tainted or before the age when the taints could be comprehended. I love my father. I am angry at my father. I never want to see him again. I want to spend hours talking to him. It all makes me want to cry. It all makes me want to break the glass plates he hasn’t yet. 
And because on a rainy day like this I don’t want to deal with anything so heavy what I really want to do is call you and come over and speak to you about art as we smoke. It’s not because you are older and I have daddy issues. It’s because you have a warm smile, hands that know when to hold and when to leave, and a soul I feel I have known before. 
But I don’t smoke and I have work to finish and my issues are my own to deal with. And you live a little too far and it’s a little too rainy and I am feeling some anxiety about the thoughts that I am having. So, I will stay. I will stay here and write and finish my coffee. But first, let me take a deep breath. or three. 
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traumatizedjaguar · 4 months
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Some people won’t let you explain yourself and all they’re doing is looking for arguments that’s what bullies do. Ignore people.
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helperhome · 8 months
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PAGE 1 "Cognitive Distortions
Cognitive distortions are irrational thoughts that can influence your emotions. Everyone experiences cognitive distortions to some degree, but in their more extreme forms they can be harmful.
Magnification and Minimization: Exaggeration or minimizing the importance of events. One might believe their own achievements are unimportant, or that their mistakes are excessively important.
Catastrophizing: seeing only the worst possible outcomes of a situation.
Overgeneralization: making broad interpretations from a single or few events. "I felt awkward during my interview. I am always so awkward."
Magical Thinking: The belief that acts will influence unrelated situations. "I am a good person -- bad things shouldn't happen to me."
Personalization: The belief that one is responsible for events outside of their own control. "My mom is always upset. She would be fine if I did more to help her."
Jumping to Conclusions: Interpreting the meaning of a situation with little or no evidence.
Mind Reading: Interpreting the thoughts and beliefs of others without adequate evidence. "She would not go on a date with me. She probably thinks I'm ugly."
Fortune Telling: The expectation that a situation will turn out badly without adequate evidence.
Emotional Reasoning: The assumption that emotions reflect the way things really are. "I feel like a bad friend, therefore i must be a bad friend."
Disqualifying the Positive: Recognizing only the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring the positive. One might receive many compliments on an evaluation, but focus on the single piece of negative feedback.
"Should" Statements: The belief that things should be a certain way. "I should always be friendly."
All-or-Nothing Thinking: Thinking in absolutes such as "always", "never", or "every". "I never do a good enough job on anything." "
PAGE 2: " Stop - Breathe - Relax
Stop
Take a mindful breath or two
Focus on your body and soften any tension you may feel.
Stop - Breathe - Reflect - Choose
Stop
Breathe - release physical tension. Use your breath and relaxation response to stop any automatic reactions.
Reflect - step back from the sitation for a moment. What is the concern? What is the emotional hook? What is the practical problem? Am I exaggerating this stress through negative thinking?
Choose - what do I want to remember in this moment? What is my intention? Do i need to temper my emotional response before i can act responsively, practically, and appropriately?
Consciously act on your choice "
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hexpatient · 6 months
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and like. the interrupting ppl to criticise their figures of speech (not allowed to say a situation or person "makes" me feel some way, literally all the cognitive distortion phrases, etc) is just asshole troll behavior. if you interrupt someone to correct their grammar or something similar, you fucking suck. stop that. but in therapy, it's good and fine for a therapist or psychiatrist to interrupt me and correct my language and turn the entire conversation about what improper phrases (no should/shouldnt! no negative labels! no always/nevers! etc) i use and try to get me to "reframe" them. totally disregarding the substance of what i'm trying to communicate. that's just called asshole.
i think the cognitive distortion and "self victimizing language" or whatever other words and phrases they won't allow is utilized as a gotcha so much because it's easy. all you have to do is listen out for a broad array of no-no-phrases and pipe up about it whenever you hear it. you barely have to listen or care, all you have to do is get to play high and mighty and also act like you're helping the crazy person. it's easy. it requires zero critical thinking. it's petty and punishing. and you get to pat yourself on the back. of course therapists love that shit!!!!!
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