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#okay i KNOW i'm not done all of my pages BUT---
luveline · 3 days
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Hotch request! Please sir, can I have a Hotch request? I'm trying to follow what you said about comfort but also Hotch being angry. So I get low blood sugars cause of my diabetes and I'd love if you wrote something about them being on a case and BAU!Reader is really busy trying to get stuff done, so she has a bad low blood sugar and sits down but one of the local officers thinks she's slacking off so she tries to keep going and Hotch comes in and defends her, making sure she has everything she needs and doesn't faint. Love you <3
ty for requesting!! hope this is okay <3 fem, 1.3k
“I understand.” You frown, phone pressed to your ear hard. “I totally understand, but it’s really important that I get to talk to her.” 
“She’s on heavy medication,” the nurse replies, unimpressed by your asking, “she wouldn’t be much use anyhow.” 
“I understand, but–”
“Listen, I’m sorry, but we have a lot to do here. I’m sorry we can’t help. Bye.” 
You groan in frustration, bringing your phone from your ear to see the Call Disconnected notification flash across your screen. How are you and the team ever supposed to get answers if nobody wants to help? Your head rushes. You kid yourself into believing it’s annoyance like a hot flash, you’ve been sweaty for ages, but then reality cuts through. What usually makes you sweaty and dizzy?
“Where’s my test kit?” you murmur to yourself. 
The door opens while you’re looking through your bag. 
“Agent,” Officer Debs greets, a stout, sturdy woman with sharp eyes, “any news from Georgetown Psychiatric?” 
You rummage frustratedly through your things. You should know better than to misplace your test kit. Doesn’t matter. You’ll just have to eat something quickly before you get any worse. “Uh, no, nothing they could help me with.” 
“Did you call them?” 
Your eyelids are getting heavier. You sit down on impulse, worried you’re gonna fall if you stay standing. “Yeah, I called them.” You’ve had diabetes for long enough to know what to do, but it’s always harder than it felt the last time when your blood sugar drops. It can be so sudden. 
Realising you might need help, you clear your throat, about to ask Officer Debs if she can get the glucose tablets from your bag. You should’ve grabbed them —your thoughts are starting to thicken like someone’s poured cornflour into your skull. 
“Is now the best time for a break?” Officer Debs asks. 
You focus very hard on bringing your attention into the present. “No, sorry,” you say, standing up. You open your phone and direct to the contacts page, clicking your favourite contact at the very top. 
Don’t know m where test kit is, you text clumsily. Hotch should still be in the precinct. Do u have it ? 
“I hope you’re texting someone about the case,” Officer Debs says sternly. 
You shove your phone into your pocket. “Um,” you say, getting confused now, and not wanting to be shouted at. You grab for the page of phone numbers you’d been making your way through, can’t get your hands to work. “I wasn’t. But I’m getting to it.” 
“We really don’t have time to waste.” 
“I know, but my blood sugar–”
She talks over you. “What’s the point in all our officers working day and night when you FBI agents can’t be bothered to put in the same effort?” Her voice rises. “It’s ridiculous!”
“It’s not ridiculous, we’re trying our best just like you are.”
“Clearly not!” 
“My blood sugar,” you say, more insistently. “Stop shouting at me.” 
The door opens quickly, creaking hard on its hinge. Hotch doesn’t slam it open, he never slams anything, but he doesn’t hesitate either. “I have it, you left it in the car after you tested this morning,” he says, your kit in his hand. He gives Officer Debs a surprised up and down. “Who’s shouting?” he asks, unimpressed. 
You wouldn’t like to be on his bad side. “Hotch, I need a tablet.” 
If he’s shocked at your lethargy, he doesn’t say. He ignores the officer from that point on. “Yes, I think so, too.” 
Hotch is more efficient than you were, grabbing your tube of glucose tablets and shaking one out into his hand. “Can you take it yourself?” 
“You want to chew it for me?” you ask. 
He tips it into your palm. “Very funny.” 
He opens the test kit on the desk and starts to extract the pieces. It’s quite complicated, especially for people unfamiliar with it, but you’re pretty sure Hotch learned how to use it the day he knew you had diabetes. He wipes his hands with an alcohol wipe and presses a test strip into the meter, careful not to touch the end, before wiping your finger with a new wipe, and readying the lancing stick. 
“Gonna stick you, okay?” he asks quietly.
“Mm,” you hum, the glucose tablet like chalk between your teeth. 
He sticks you. Some days it feels more painful than other days, but today it’s like a pinprick in a haze. He squeezes your finger, wipes the first drop of blood with a cotton ball, and dips the test strip into the second bead of blood, careful not to jab your cut. 
In the five seconds it takes for you to get a result on the meter, he kneels down, pressing another cotton ball to your finger to stem the flow of blood. “Good,” he murmurs to you. The meter flashes on the table. “Not so good. Fifty nine, huh? How’d that happen?” 
You shake your head slowly from one side to another. “I’ve no idea.” 
“Okay. Well, that tablet’s not gonna do it, honey. Do you have any gels?” 
“No,” you say apologetically. 
“That’s fine. I’ll get you a drink.” 
Officer Debs clears her throat. You may be foggy, but her awkwardness is palpable. “I’ll get it.”
“It has to be full sugar. Coke, if you can,” Hotch says. She nods in understanding and leaves in record time. Hotch turns back to you, his severity melting away. “She was shouting at you?”
“Tried to tell her about my blood sugar. She told me we’re not here to waste time.” You close your mouth, licking the glucose off of your teeth.
“How did you get so low?” he asks.
“Must have done something wrong this morning. Am I okay?” 
“We’ll see. I think you’ll be alright.” 
“Don’t usually get so dizzy.” 
“When was the last time you were below seventy?” 
“Don’t know,” you mumble. 
Hotch peels the cotton ball from your finger and packs your things away cleanly. “Let’s see how you feel in ten minutes. After your coke. Now… what did the Officer say to you?” 
He’s getting his facts straight. Again, you wouldn’t like to be on his bad side. You relay your conversation, Officer Debs hadn’t even been that bad, just uppity, stuck on her own assumptions rather than willing to listen when you’d needed a hand. Her lack of empathy could’ve really affected you. Low blood sugar is no joke. 
You tell him, savouring in the warmth of his hand on your leg, how uncaring he is to be kneeling in front of you on the precinct floor. He frowns at you long and hard. 
By the time Officer Debs returns, he’s on his feet again. “A word?” he asks her. 
You don’t hear all of what he’s saying through the door as you sip your coke. He doesn’t shout, but he defends you with a heavy gravity. Officer Debs speaks up and he cuts her down, something about understanding, and then a more clear telling off, “I don’t want to hear about Agent L/N’s performance from you again. She’s my agent, and if she needs a break, she’ll take one. It’s none of your concern.” 
“I understand.” 
You feel much peppier when he comes back in, though he appears less so. “You’re nasty,” you say, smiling, happy to be defended, and happier to know you’re not gonna pass out.
He crosses the room. Still frowning, he takes your face into his hands, and he leans down inch by inch, until he’s pressing a soft, soft kiss to your lips. You barely have time to close your eyes before he’s pulling away, thumb pressed into your soft cheek. “Nobody gets to shout at you. Especially over your blood sugar.” 
“It’s usually you telling me off for letting it get low,” you mumble. 
He stands up straight, leaving you wanting for another kiss you won’t get, hands stolen back from your cheeks. “You’re ageing me prematurely. Drink some more coke, please, sweetheart.” 
“What do I get in return?” 
He touches your face briefly, as much of a promise as you’re going to get. 
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♡ STEVE HARRINGTON'S MASTERLIST ♡
❁ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❁
﹆ Summary : you loved him with all your heart but he became unfaithful and there's nothing that he can do to mend it, is it really your last dance together?
﹆ Word Count : and again hoping it's not that too long for y'all
﹆ Warnings : 18+ MDNI‼️KingSteve! x FEM!reader, cursing, Steve and reader are both (18), unprotected sex, p in v penetration, both oral receiving, SMUT‼️, slight public sex I guess?, Steve will be so oblivious with readers feelings, cheating, unrequited love, friends to lovers, emotional abuse, tolerating, no use of y/n, not going to give any spoilers in here but beware that this will be ANGSTY!
﹆ What to Expect : SMUT‼️, FLUFF‼️, ANGST‼️, Steve and reader are the IT couple on Hawkins High, of course- by the term "King Steve" you know what that means, sorry ✌🏻
﹆ Note To Reader : Y'ALL BABY'S FIRST EVER STEVE HARRINGTON FIC!!!! AHHHHH <3 I'm so excited to spill all of my ideas about my first ever fave character from the show! and yeah I also apologize that I chose to do angst first 😔🤚🏻
﹆ Author Note : this is literally one of my favorite songs from George Michael and don't come at me, okay?!? I was just listening to this song and I was like why is this so Steve coded?!? AND YUP IT CLICKED AN IDEA!!!! ;))
Present : Prom 1984
"How are you holding up?" He asks as he tries to look at your eyes but you're avoiding it
"Been alright" you say as you look at him very briefly, your touches with him as you both swayed in the dance floor it felt different
His heart sunk when you couldn't even look into his eyes in the same way again
The eyes that are once so dreamy when you both locked in
He can tell that you're still moving on from him
He can tell that your eyes speaks louder than words
He can tell that you're still hurting because of him
Past : He shouldn't had an affair with someone else
"Diana, she isn't-"
"I know"
Steve is staggered as he swallows nervously in front of you, he wishes to be sucked down deeply on the floor and never to be seen again
He's ashamed for himself
He doesn't understand the meaning and the idea of love until it hits him like a block of bricks
And it hit really hard to the point that right after he slept with the other woman that night after the party that you both went out
He realized he made a mistake
A huge mistake that "sorry" can never undo the damage to what he has been done
Once the trust is broken it can never be fixed
You know he had a choice not to choose to cheat on you
But you laugh in disbelief as you think about it
Oh, right, he's King Steve
He doesn't know feelings and wants to keep his title to stay relevant
"W-Wait, you knew?"
"Everybody at school knows about it, Steve" you tried your very best to mask your pained expression but he can see it
The look on your face pierces right through his chest as he gulps
You have every right to be mad at him
You have every chance to shout and yell at him
But you didn't....
You talk so cold like it doesn't even matter to you
He darts his eyes everywhere in the room as he spoke again "After all this time?"
You sigh tiredly "Yeah"
He shook his head at you as he couldn't believe what you just said
"How? H-How you look-"
"What- I look what?!"
"You look...fine"
You incredulously laugh "Of course, I've had to Steve, we both got a title to keep it stable, right?" You reply to him in a mockery way as he averts his eyes somewhere else
"If you knew then why are you still with me?"
You frown at his words as you take all the courage to not breakdown at him, to not show him that you're weak but you failed since....
You love him too much that it's okay if you break apart from him
"Because I love you, Steve! Why don't you get that?!?"
Your chest heaves heavily as you try to control your breath as you cried angrily but also filled with sadness and frustration
Steve gasps, the moment you snap at him and saw you for the first time like this
You've never showed your side of vulnerability, yes, you've told him a couple of glimpses of your life but never this
Now, his eyes burned with forming tears as he tries to close his mouth in shock
You loved him? No one has ever loved him truly before
"I loved you so much that I play pretend so I can keep you!" You hiccupped into your own tears
"I loved you too" he said it out loud before he can stop himself, you saw how his eyes widens when he realizes what he just said
It's like a record scratch, you stare at him with your tear-stained cheeks as you studied his face
You blink, "What?!?"
"I've been drawn to you ever since we we're friends"
"S-Steve" you shift on your stance
"You're the only friend that I've ever had, who knows me better than I do"
You throw your palms on your face as you continue to sob
You're both dating for almost 2 years but why does he have to betray you to make him realize that he is in love just like you?
"Is this true?" You quietly say as you wipe away your tears
"Yes, it is" he walks closer to you but you moved away giving him the signal that you don't want him to hold you
"I-I tried to ignore the signs before that I thought maybe you- you just wanted this for to gain something"
What the fuck?
"Is that all really matters to you? Steve? don't you even think about how much I've suffered to maintain my sweet-like personality whenever we walked in the hallways?!?"
He thought maybe if he confessed his true feelings to you, everything will go back to normal
But it doesn't....
Not even the truth will bring the both of you comfort
Pain is all there ever is
"I've wanted to scream and I'm so tired to act like everything is okay, I really really wanted us to last, Steve"
"Turns out it was just only me who wanted to have a future with you"
The words just rolls out of your bitter tongue and it's a punch to his gut
"N-No, that isn't true" he begs
"You lost me, Steve, you had your chance and you blew it" you sniffle
Before he can say anything, you left him alone in his house as his eyes are still glued at the closed door hoping that you'll come back
But you never ever did
Future : if only he's loyal to you this wouldn't happen
You endured every single thing that his friends talked about you
Talked about, you're not fit into their world
Saying that "she doesn't belong here" but you didn't care because why?
You loved him
You love Steve Harrington despite what everyone else says
You don't care about titles
You don't care about these social cliques
You just wanted to have good friends and well, maybe love
Everybody adored you at school saying that you're the sweetest and kindest popular girl, it's actually rare for them to have those qualities because most of them are fucking assholes
You even overheard some other people like how did you even get into this situation?
Back in 1982, you're a new kid at school and you somehow manage to get into King Steve's heart without any hassle
You wished you've only stayed as friends
So, this wouldn't have hurt this much
"Steve!"
"What?"
"You know I'm ticklish!"
"I don't know" he feigns innocence and he still continues torturing you into your side as he towers over you as you lay at the grass with a blanket on his backyard
"Stop!" You say with a breathy laugh
He chuckles when you pout at him holding the both of his wrists "Okay, okay"
There's a moment that both of you halted over your silliness at each other
He never felt anything like this before
His heart is beating so loud that he could hear it throbbing on his ear
Your eyes went everywhere to his face
He is absolutely so beautiful up close like this
You're the first one to break the whatever that was
He nods as he runs his fingers through his hair as he watches you
He is so thankful that he has someone like you
You've never judged him, you let him know that emotions are valid that he can always count on you
You comforted him on his darkest days, you're the sunshine that help him to forget his absent parents
You feel so sorry for him when he told you he's alone most of the time in his enormous house
Yeah, maybe he's wealthy but he did not once felt happy until you came along
You're like an angel, he knows that he made the right decision to sit next to you at English Class, that's where it all began your newfound friendship
A part of him is afraid at that time you might back out if you found out that he's King Steve and his reputation at school
He is surprised that you didn't knew anything about him and that gives him a relief
After everything crashed down, now, you wished you knew all about him that's how he thinks about love
It's all just fun and games to him
You cursed at yourself for being so lovesick
A smile grows on his lips as watches you ate cherries on the vanilla milkshake that he make for you, it's your favorite
The whipped cream went on the sides of lips as you take a sip from the straw
He swiped it using his thumb and you blushed at his sudden action
He licked it off clean as you watch him
He catches you staring, there's a unreadable gleam on your eyes that he didn't not quite understood yet
Steve can't even register that he's moving closer to you and you froze as you hold your milkshake tightly as he cradles your cheek
He runs his tongue over his lips as his eyes stare at your rosy lips
He moves inches closer and your breath hitches, your mouth is slightly open as you look at him
He gave you one last look before he dive in
Your lips are now connected to his as he pulled you closer to him, he snatches your milkshake away as he puts it down as you start squirming and shut your eyes as you throw your arms around him
He smiles through the kiss as he deepens making you moan and his heart flutters at the sound of it, your hand crawls through his perfectly styled hair and he made a guttural groan at your move as you tug it slightly
His hands went at your waist as he squeezes it, the touch is overwhelming and your skin feels on fire everytime he grabs and graze his fingertips under over your clothed body
He slowly made you lay down beneath the blanket as you spread your legs to position himself on top of you
Your heart had never been this so fast, he tilts his head over the side as you yelp when his hands went under your skirt he starts toying with the garter of your panties, he smirks through the kiss
He cuts off your heated make out session as he removes his shirt and his eyes widens when you chase his lips as he pecks on it, you blink at his bared chest as you became flustered yet again, your fumbled panicky with the buttons of your blouse but he halted you as you let him undress you
It reveals a red lacy bra as he wolfishly whistles and you playfully slapped his chest as you duck your head down in a shy manner
God, why you gotta be so adorable?
He uses his index finger and his thumb to lift your chin to make you look at his gaze as you finally take him in
His cheeks are flushed, his hair is a mess and both of you are matching the same looks
The look that he's giving you, it's enough to make your mouth run dry and the wetness is pooling between your red lacy underwear
It doesn't take him too long to kiss your lips once again as he rises up slowly to undo his belt and his pants along with his boxers
He unclasps your bra as he throws on the side doesn't really matter where it lands as your hands when back onto your skirt to unzip it as you shimmy down and put it away
He reaches at your red lacy underwear but the moment he struggles to get it off, he starts to get impatient he snaps it just right about where your knees making you squeal
"I'll get you a new one, don't worry, baby" he growls as his hot kisses went everywhere on your chest and you can tell that he is hesitant to touch you
He doesn't even know if you wanted this but as if you can read his mind, the second thoughts were erased as you told him
"Steve, it's okay, you can touch me"
You breath heavily with his kneading your breasts as he plants smearing marks on your neck hitting that sweet spot making you mewl
He pats your thigh as a signal to wrap it on his hips
He holds your waist aggressively you know it will be bruised and it turns you on even more
You gasp as you can felt his tip intruding your tight hole as you can feel him entering smoothly along with your juices and arousal
It doesn't even needed a lubrication, he is drenched because of you
"Jesus Christ, y-you're dripping wet" he grunts as he watches your cunt devouring him as he can see your eyes fighting to stay open
He smirks as he fills you all the way up, you throw your head onto the side as you bit down your bottom lip
"S-Steve, please move"
He is so big to make you scream as you finally adjusted to his size and felt comfortable with pain and pleasure
He puts the other leg down as he lifts the other one as he puts over his shoulder and pulls you down closer to him that earned a whimper from you
He starts rutting in and out slowly, he hasn't even done anything and yet, it's driving you crazy
The squelching noises, the slamming back and forth with his slow pace as you start clenching around him
"Goddamn it, baby, you gotta stop doing that" his mouth is hanging open and already knows what heaven feels like
This is heaven
He doesn't ever want to leave
"M-Move f-faster" you stuttered between soft moans as you pawing at his hairy covered chest as he begins to go rough on you
Your hand flew over as you slapped and covered your mouth as your breasts start to jiggle from his movement, he tear off your hand as he pins it down
"Don't be shy on me, I wanna hear you loud and clear"
You whine and arched your back as he start to held both of your arms to go along with his neck as he pulls you even more further making him go deeper inside of you as you throw your head back and you gave him his wishes
You moaned beautifully as he devilishly smirks as he kisses you again but this time is filled with lust and teeth began to clash
Your whole body feels lumpy as both of you went back down as he raises both of your arms over the top of your head as he pounds at you placing kisses all over your face
You watch him down below as he fucks you ramming his way so easily
Your eyes rolls back as your high pitched moans went "ah-ah-ah" he feels so fucking great to hear those coming out of you because he's the one that made you feel like this
"So tight, baby, you're killing me"
"S-Steve, don't sto-p"
You wrap your legs around him as you tangle at him along with his body to push him down
"Oh shit!" he exclaims as his eyes darkens
You giggle but the time when he fingers touched your clit and you shudder
"Not so funny are we now, baby?" He bullys your clit earning a lewd noises falls from your lips
You nod at him pathetically as you matched his movements making him chuckle darkly
He lets go of your hands as he hooks his hand under your knees as he sheathes himself inside of you
You started babbling at him saying "S-Steve- fuck! That's it right there!" You shouted out loud but not without a moan
Yes, this is what he wanted
Let the neighbors hear you that he's the one who giving you this sweet pleasure
He thrusts as you shake your head begging for a release
"Yes, baby, I know, just let it go, I got you"
"ah-Steve!-oh"
You moan wildly as you chant his name as you came undone
He spills his load painting your flesh walls white
Your legs are trembling and you're shaking badly as he lazily smile as his spent body went boneless on top of you
You embrace him with your warmth along with your tangled legs as you kept him in place
His eyes go big when he realizes he had done something, you felt him became tense as you hold him softly by his shoulder blades
Despite, the fiery sex that you just both had, you're still in that haze but you remembered that both of you just did that on his backyard is making you feel fuzzy
He carefully rips himself off of you as he start scrambling to get on with his boxers
You immediately missed his scent on you
You furrow your brows as you watch him run off with that worried look on his eyes
You didn't have the time to wear your discarded clothes as you chose to grab his towel that is hanging around the lounge chair that he uses when he wants to take a dip from his swimming pool, you covered it with your naked body
"Steve! Wait- what is it?" You asked him with concern his heart feels booming inside of his chest by the tone of your voice
You really did care about him
This is all too good to be true
You followed him as he moves the sliding the door as he went outside he stopped once he's in there
You stare at behind his back and insecurities are now lurking in the shadows
Did he regret it?
Just run off and never look back save yourself from rejection
But you didn't instead, you touched his shoulder softly as he melts with it, you call out to his name again, you swore you heard him crying
He slowly turns his body around facing you and now you met Steve's eyes with threatening tears that are about to fall
"O-Oh my god, Steve? Are you okay?- Tell m-"
"W-We didn't use protection- and I-" he croaked up in his own tears
"I came inside of you and I didn't even asked you first that if you wanted this to happen" he motions at the two of you and you can see the guilty look from his eyes as he rests his forehead against with yours
Your eyes softens as it starts become glossy
Did he ruin your friendship?
Did he broke the last precious thing that meant a lot from him?
"Steve, it's fine, I've wanted you to"
His blinked the tears away just to see your face clearly
"Y-You wanted it?" He says as he holds your hands raising it closer to his face as he kisses it
You take a deep breath through your nose as you brave enough to confess your feelings
"I wanted you more than as a friend, Steve"
The swallows the lump on his throat as his chest eases out from tension
"The truth is that I love you, Steve" a fallen tear as you smile at him
Your eyes are shining with so much affection that he doesn't have before and it scares him
He shakes his head in disbelief as he watches you hug him
"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know that I do, I am really in love with you"
He squeezes his eyes shut to your words as he hugs you tightly as he rests on the crook of your shoulder
He finally got what he wanted all of his life
Until, he realizes it was too late
He was too late for him to figure it all out, when you finally made up your mind that you want him in the first place
You loved him too early, he loved you too late
Aftermath : you can't ever lie to yourself that you still want him after how he treated you harshly
As much as you wanted to cling on to him and keep things the way they were
You know what's best for you
You know it's the right thing to do
You know deep down to your soul that you don't want this to end
But this is all too much for you, too much for you to bear
The agony, pain, sorrow, disappointment, heartache, if you continue this, you will be miserable
You want it keep it going, hell, if he asked you to marry him, you would, fuck, he might not even finished saying the lines, you will say "yes" to everything
But his heart is elsewhere, his mind is remains afloat
You got your heart and your soul devoted to him, you gave your most sacred value, your body
Only to be wasted to be washed away down the drain
But still, you've never regret doing it to him,
But no matter what you do, no matter how many times he apologizes to you, sure, you can see it that he despised his fault for your failed relationship
It isn't feel right and it isn't working
You can't see and look at him in the same way before, all you can see is....
It's deceitful, it's making you so angry but you will never show how hot-headed you are
Because, yet again, you loved him, no matter how you wanted to scratch his face out of madness
He is intimidated by your whole sense of nonchalant micro expressions but he knows behind that mask
You're upset
You know it yourself that you've done everything that you could ever give to him
You conclude in your own thoughts alone that you aren't enough for him
There might be sprinkle of insecurity that you wanted to brush it off but that's what you feel
You supported him, take care of him, you've been a good listener, you've been a loving girlfriend of his that in other people lenses
You're just an eye candy
Now, you understand what you've gotten those sympathetic eyes on you at school
Because this is all what comes down to....
You're just another girl that he got himself a jackpot to his prize
Just another trophy to his collection that he just....slept with you and he'll do it again after to the next girl that he got eyes targeted
Despite at how brutal that sounds
You will always love him
Back to Prom 1984
You can feel everyone's eyes on the both of you
You're dancing together at the center of the dance floor
They knew about you and Steve's relationship and the infidelity that he has done
They knew about the bond that is going to fall apart
Steve thought that the music is far from being too loud, he is getting overwhelmed by it, he wants to turn it off and leave the premises with you where he feels safe
Now, he is slipping off with your delicate fingers, the only sanctuary that he has ever given and he knows that he is fucking lucky to have you
He wished that the both of you could lose this crowd
"Let's go outside"
"N-No, S-Steve- No"
He ignores your protests and he tugs at your hand leading you out of the dance floor as he tries to scrape you off your feet and dragged you outside
The students starts whispering all around
He is surprised that you let him hold you
You let him intertwined your hands with his
He pushes you outside first slowly and he closes the door behind him, the music blurs out
You wrap your arms around yourself the night chilly air hits your delectable skin as the fairy lights from the streets makes you look glowy
He sadly sighs as he finally had the chance to look at you like this again
This is the only time that he saw what's in your eyes, god- is this what he trying to dodge? what is he thinking? all he wanted is to punch himself for cheating on you
All he can see the remnants of your undying love to him on your eyes but also mixed with a cloud of gloominess
He fucked up big time
He removes his coat as he tries to give it to you
"I don't want your coat" you step away as you sternly look at him
He ignores again, your remark as he places his coat around you
"What should I do to gain back your trust, please tell me" his hazel eyes pleads for you and your eyes burning from the tears forming
Your chest tightens, you don't want to have this conversation again
You know it'll ended up so raw and you feel exposed by your feelings and the worst case
The transparency of your emotions
The seconds as he awaits for your reply, the music from the gymnasium dies
You look at him that he doesn't ever wanted to see
It terrifies him horribly as he begins to cry in front of you as you did too
"Oh, god- please no" his voice starts breaking and your heart shattered at the sound of it
He knows exactly the meaning behind your melancholic eyes
It's all sad goodbyes
"Steve, maybe it's better this way" you say as you held his cheeks as he presses himself against it at the palm of your hands as he kisses it
"No, it's not-"
He knows that you aren't a fool to this any longer, he knows what's about to happen but he can't help but beg for you to not leave him
You rip your hand out of his cheeks as he already misses your touches
You hated how fast you feel powerless over him whenever you talked to him like this
You hated how easily that he can get to touch like nothing happened
But, not this time, not anymore
You're trusting your gut, you listen to your inner voice
"Steve! If we pick up where we left off, we'd just end up hurting ourselves and it will hurt a lot more of the things that we wanted to say to each other"
"Don't say it like that- I promise that'll be better, I'll prove it to you"
You slam your lips over his and he can't help but feel the same butterflies on his stomach that he once ignored, you kissed him like it was your last breath
There's a voice inside of his head that says he something is bad is about to happen
God, if he could only turn back the time and he'll make things right
"Don't let this get over with your head, I am giving you one last dance, one last touch and one last kiss"
"N-No, please- don't let go-"
"I'm saying that this is goodbye, Steve"
"W-We could've have been so good together, we could've have this dance forever"
You smile sadly, "I wish you thought about that before you crossed me" he watches you as you take off his coat from your shoulders
Your heels hits the pavement as it starts clicking as you walked away from him
He chases you as he hugged you from behind, you breakdown in tears again, he rests his head over your shoulder as he sniffled
"Please stay"
"You will always have my heart, you know it belongs to you ever since, Steve, and I'm always going to love you, but I have to go" you caressed his hand as you remove yourself from him as you take a look at him one last time
"I love you Steve Harrington, thank you for giving me how betrayal feels like" you humorlessly chuckle as he runs his hands over his face, he keeps shaking his head sideways
You kissed his cheek as he watches you with those tired eyes, of course, you can notice everything, the dark circles surrounding his eyes
He hasn't gotten any sleep like you do
He can't sleep properly because of you
His mind and his heart screams at you
He wants you back on his life, but now, he's alone again
He hates himself and he knows what he did is unforgivable and unforgettable
"I'll miss you, take care okay?" You choke in your own tears as you fixed his hair for the last time, the kind gesture that he always admired, he can't believe that this is the last time
He holds both of your shoulders "I can't never love again, I only want you"
Your heart cracks piece by piece to his words
The time is running out, you need to move
"If you really love me you have to let me go, Steve"
He begrudgingly loosens his hold on you as he watches you walking towards your car, his eyes are fixated on you and you know it
You badly wanted to look at him again, but you decided against it, you don't even wanna leave him like this but it had to be done
He cries standing all alone on that night
You cried while driving home as your knuckles turn white as you grip on the steering wheel
He knows for a fact that he will never gonna dance again
The way he danced with you
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do you got any tips to start comic pages? Or any tutorial you would recommend in mind
Look I know how to use a read more tag now
I've no tutorials in mind really. I did look through plenty of them way in the beginning, but later found what worked for me the most! And it's just having your script and deciding how much of it you want to jam in that one page, and most importantly, what panel you want the page to end with so the cut-off doesn't feel clunky. Check how much space your dialogue takes before sketching, make sure it has room to breathe.
I like it when there's at least one establishing shot in the page that shows the characters in relation to each other and the environment. Sometimes you can get away with not including it but a pageful of headshots gets boring easily.
Some people just sketch freely and add build the panels after that, it's pretty good for more action-packed scenes since not being bound by an existing layout tends to make things livelier. I sometimes use this for silent pages, since they're the ones that give me the most grief to plan.
If you're on the boat of being afraid to actually START making a comic, there's plenty of you! It's self-preservation talking, and it's so super normal, especially if you've never made a comic before. Comicing is hard work and offers a tons of things to keep track on. In the very start your story's spine is so flexible it's hard to see how you can make it hold weight, but with every page you'll be cementing it. Half of my comic feels wobbly right now because I'm not there yet, but 200+ finished pages have told me it'll be okay. It'll hold weight when we get there, because all that work we've done till then is now foundation.
I won't lie, sometimes paging is pain in the ass. Sometimes it's so hard to figure out what kind of shot to use, how to avoid repetition in conversations, deciding on panel size, how to fit all in, where to cut the page. Sometimes I've feared that this is where it ends, I can't figure this out, but then I remember I have so much done already, and I've met these troubles before. It doesn't need to be perfect, just get it over with! The next page will be better.
With these in mind, it'll get so much easier after you've started. White canvas is scary, were it a new page or a whole new comic.
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jugacolours · 11 months
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istherewifiinhell · 2 months
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IS FLYING GENDERED? On the masculine default, typifying gender in genre, and women as the other in the transformers cartoons.
question for the ages
once again i said back in the halcyon days of watching g1 (aka 5 months ago) i was like. Nooooo, decepticon is NOT a gender that's Silly. It's funny, but as a Read Of The Text, I thought it largely unneeded. (The concept came about, as a joke, involving dismissing the bad guys using the same language you would abt women (sexistly) that they're emotional [heh, flighty], vain, and shrill) after all. If in the 80s era there are 5 whole named/speaking woman tfs, its only ever gonna get better from here right? (<- booboo the fool)
anyway
Let's consider the axiom that the assumed default gender is male, that maleness is often seen as LACK of gender, and femaleness and gender variance are the PRESENCE of gender. In certain reasoning and worldviews, of course (See Androcentrism). Then add that, for transformers, the assumed default thing a transformer turns into, is car. (Autocentrism, if you will)
(The most general term for what a tf turns into is "Alt mode" as some of them are not vehicles at all. The other mode is "Robot Mode", whether its humanoid or not)
So I will be laying out why I believe the cartoon iterations support: non standard alt modes = non standard genders. This is in spite of the fact that FIRST lady tfs were all cars. Sleek cyber cars, but still. For whatever reason, (possibly, the reason for everything in tf, toys) they might as well not exist for how woman tf characters presence in the cartoons progressed over time.
And, to be clear, this is a reading of how these works of fiction are created, not a new unified bioessentialism but for robots aliens I'm proposing for like. In universe lore reasons. I hate that idea.
That said, alt modes in order of most to least gender: Spider, motorcycle, flying (in general, with rotors, jets), tank, and then FINALLY, car. (water and space crafts are already too marginal to rank, but they too can be assumed in relation to default maleness, AND that in making one a woman, would still qualify as othering her).
The NUMBER one reason for this is the bizarre need to have an ESTABLISHED woman tf character before making new ones. AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE. With a g1 gender ratio something like.... (counting even the most marginal cases for the ladies) 9:120? (That's a rough count from a quick scanning of the tf wiki g1 char list) Shits dire out here.
The second is, ofc, character design based. cis people [stand in phrase for the hegemonic world view] are not okay, and their opinions about how tf gender must need be depicted visually is. uh? Im not a fan. Size and shape dimorphism in general is a given, and specifically having women tfs as far more humanoid and curvy in specific. Also general cartoon lady face syndrome but, whatever. I think there's exactly one character here who doesn't have "lips" or "lipstick" as a distinguishing factor. I'm so tired.
Third is generally, the idea of The Girl Of the Team. When there's The Girl, she often isn't JUST a normal character, who happens to be a girl. See, of course, the Smurtfette Principle. But in my view there's also a trend to give The Girl "special traits" on top of "Girl", maybe even to directly combat the idea that the Girl Character has no other traits? To stop this from being a General Primer on Woman in Media, my explanatory focus is things specific to the tf franchise.
(A phrase I use for thinking about normative modes [in general, not just the Alt ones] in within the tf universe is "unique transformerdom" or, even more clunkily, "A transformer of unique transformerdom". The excessive verbosity is amusing to me personally. All I mean by it is to have an umbrella term for any of the ways tfs can be made unique from their peers in the non allegorical realities of the fiction).
I could, and do, and greatly want to, speak about this AT LENGTH. But it keeps spiraling away from me. So I'll say for now were looking at ways a character is being depicted different from her peers, not because she is the only woman (which she likely is), but cause she's a different kind of transformer, AND if she's othered for it.
(IN SOME forms of the lore. Being a transformer woman, IS A UNIQUE KIND of transformer unto itself. Let's just say I hate it and move on)
Fourth, is the gender of villainy. There is much to be said about gender presentation of villains, the ways they are allowed to be aberrant. We will get to it. There is also all the tropes specific TO evil women, and the modes of villainy open TO female characters. But a general thing I think impacting the gender ratios of the factions is the how "Good" and "Evil" female characters are written. I'll generalize and call this the "Damsel vs Temptress" dichotomy. (See concepts like the Madonna-whore complex). Transformers, is by and large, an action franchise. Unless special reasons are made, characters who can impact the action– have more screen time, and likely more memorable, and iconic presences. A villainous woman can be unchaste, violent, aggressive. While a heroic woman, even if not a literal damsel are more likely to be in a support role. The secretaries of the action genre: medics and techs.
(Another factor is that tfs are giant robots, and the good guys are often friends with tiny squishy little humans. These make very good damsel fodder, and can be taking up the spots on the roster that might, in a different franchise, go to women. Additionally, while woman characters in transformers overall is an interesting topic. When I say tf women, I'm referring to ones that are in fictionally, transformers.)
SO, now understanding our points of attack/obstacles for getting woman into transformers. (Getting established, gendering the designed, uniqueness of existence, and general villainy). Lets go over those alt modes, and the characters that have em, in more detail.
Spiders
The "Beast Era" (1996) intro-ed the spider ofc. And what don't we have with this one. She's a villain, but shes also misunderstood, the era and design style let to these more organic shapes. And they used them to make sure she was very sexy. She's genre aware, she's quippy, she's an absolute icon. So naturally. She gets ported to other later shows. Which means we just have sexy spider ladies running around when everyone else is a fucking truck and shit.
Her own origin is, well think of her as a "Bride of Frankenstein" to the resident evil scientist, also a spider. She was designed for, and manipulated by him in multiple ways. Her protoform (A blank robot base), was supposed to be one of the good guys (a Maximal), but was reprogrammed into a bad guy (Predacon). Even then, she eventually joins them, for her own reasons. She's not even the first predacon to do so, the difference? Well the characters are a lot more NORMAL about his autonomy. Both of these characters stress that being a predacon is an identity they still see as important. But only the woman is told that really, she is was was always MEANT to be a maximal. And while that's true in a sense. There's also a plot were she's forced (by plot contrivance, not the other maximals) to get corrective robot surgery for it. And when they think she died from, everyone's more sad for her boyfriend than for her. Ouch.
The second spider, in the 2007 show, is now one in a world where she is the only "techno-organic" transformer, hence, she is spider, everyone else is a vehicle. Similar to the first, her narrative is very gendered, but less in the way were, like, I do literally think the first was was experiencing in universe sexism from other characters. Here, they really focus on the "techno vs organic" narrative, and the tragic circumstances on how that happened. In this case its just real world sexist writing.
THIRD SPIDER, (2010), instead of misunderstood and tragic evil, this ones just super mega likes to cause pain evil. She also occupies a strange place between the typic vehicular tfs, and the insecticons. This is because she has a helicopter alt mode, and her robot mode is just, a lady with spider characteristics. And, more than just a passing bug like similarity, she has the power to control the insecticons (you know, cause evil woman mind control). However, she doesn't fit in with them either, as the insecticons are at the most insect like they've ever been, in look, living in hives and that most don't even speak.
They may vary in exact character, relationship to the story's moral conflict, and design. But they stay comfortably established, dimorphised, flirty and flirting with villainy. And bonus points, always, for black widow spider trope.
SO. SPIDERS. Established: ✅️ Gendered designs: ✅️ (Extremely!) Unique: ✅️ Othered: ✅️ Villainy: ✅️
Motorcycles
Tooooo my knowledge the first bike lady was in 2004, and fairly minor, in the actual plot, but rest assured, they did go the previously established woman route, by being pink, though, which one shes named after varies by language. But neither were previously motorcycles. (And yes, there is also this problem of mixing together or swapping out one woman tf for another. As if we have the ladies to spare). Even though motorcycle men also exist, this one just stuck for a bit. Maybe something to do with Those Movies. I think the Gendered Existence of a motorcycle is pretty evident though, general sex appeal, being smaller, the mode of riding a motorcycle is different, more physical and intimate. Mainly this ranks so high for the level of grossness they can pack in. Just how objectifying it can be, particularly with two instances where the human rider is an annoying teen boy. Naturally, I've also never seen a male and female motorcycle in the same room, but the approach to design tends to be different. And yeah most of em are Arcee, who's first alt mode was cyber car, but it's not just her.
Established: ✅️ Gendered designs: ✅️ Unique: ✅️ Othered: Depends on iteration, I do NOT like the way one gets called "tough, for a two wheeler". Villainy: ❌(they wouldn't need to be motorcycles if they weren't making them the Special Girl Autobot, after all)
Flying
General: It just tends to stick out when your one girl is only flyer in the group, even she's otherwise tactfully done. Only flyer of the Maximals, a falcon, only flyer of the dinobots, a Pteranodon.
Rotors
I can barely even figure this one. Maybe it's just a general, aesthetics and use case of the actually vehicles, the associations? None of these ladies (and special case) are very connected otherwise. As previously mentioned, the spider helicopter. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A big one for this is the preschool demo shows, which are rescue team focused. In the first one the only woman on the human response worker team pairs with the helicopter, they mention she does medical at times. The helicopter is male, like the other tfs. But also he's afraid of flying, and while not the first case of a flyer with a fear of heights, their personalities are, pretty different. As he's both fearful AND effeminate, fine as character traits go but, with the tone of humour used, marks him as Other.
In the second, Whirl (pointing to icon) becomes a girl for the first time, now with standard humanized face. I assume as move to keep with the previous show of having a girl one, as there's no human team mates. She's also the only one who really likes rescue school. Aaaand that's all know of her. What more do you want from me.
Helicopters: Unique: ✅️ Othered: ✅️ (milder than some)
But why'd I call this section rotors instead of helicopters? That would be because one of the latest Sole Female TF we just put in everything™ is a VTOL jet with rotors. She'll tend to be the only jet of her type, which is also smaller than the type of jet used for the villains.
And, of course, aside from alt mode, the thing that makes her stand out most in the cartoons? That she's very clearly a comics character. (I find the emphasize that she's "fan created" over done, as it only controlled minor aspects, and irrelevant cause tfs get completely overhauled in new versions all the time). From her design, which is a bit busier than most characters she stars with. And also uses Japanese aesthetic signifiers in ways that I think are a bit misappropriated and untactful. (VERY USamerican comics). Also, when she stars next to a guy, also from comics employing Japanese aesthetic, you can tell its not deployed in the same manner. (E.I she has hair and makeup, he has armor). Either way, her depictions have her either as badass sword lady on mission from god who's constantly getting hit on by an annoying guy. Or have her be from a different planet and has special telepathy.
Do we see how both her gender AND the cultural signifiers are having affects here? That the main woman tf in a series can be a literal alien even among our alien robots, with cultural signifiers they don't have?
Ratings Established: ✅️ (made the comics to cartoon jump) Gendered designs: ✅️ Unique: ✅️ Othered: ✅️ (SO SO EXTREMELY, using methods in fiction and real life)
Jets
I think my association of jets with tf gender is stronger, than some of the above examples, even if there's less reason to it. And why is that? Well, lets get socratic. Here's another question.
Is This All Starscream's Fault?
No. He's not real, he can't do things. But. His legacy as THE main stay transformers character that gets to subvert gender? Yeah. (Sure, the G1 autobots have their own effete, but he's not in every single cartoon they ever made now is he? Plus now that I think about it, he is a FLYING car...)
From the get, he's not a Man's man. He's shrill, he's manipulative and duplicitous, petty and emotional, cowardly and wheedling. He is, of course, the Perfect character. Now naturally, the 80s cartoon was not concerned with your paltry logics. Starscream and his ilk are the jets, but every decepticon can fly. The gun, the cassette player, the camera, the cassettes.
And each to a last, more masculine than he is. Vocally or behaviorally, physically. Every one of them fit the gender expectations more than he does. Even being a small time grunt, is a masculine trait, after all, more so than unchecked ambition. So its not femininity from flying, from jets. But direct relationship, reference, and descendancy from Starscream that makes it. I've yet to see female versions of Jet fire and or the aerialbots, for example.
So what to do when an effeminate male villain was less maltese falcon and more that man has effeminate hips? Well. We had to start getting his ass for being effeminate, explicitly. They made the female clone of him, which yeah, is an offensive joke stemming from the various The Gender Anxieties. (Transmisogyny, homophobia and sexism. General relation toxic masculinity. A heady mix of all and more).
But I mean. It's free girl tf... Once given a name in extra canon materials, she start's showing up in other things. Once you're in books, video games, comics, and most importantly, toys, you're real. And then eventually, her first non clone appearance in a cartoon, and how her presence shaped it.
That being, Cyberverse. Which is a cgi show, you need to know this for reasons of production. Making new models is expensive. This has always been the reason you just make recolours of Starscream and name them different things. Chicken or egg on this one, I don't know, But because CV has Slipstream, and the only difference between her and the generic "male" decepticon jet, is a more feminine face; Suddenly, any random decepticon goon can be a woman.
An absolutely revolutionary take for striving to populate a fictional world with gender parity. By at large it also means they're way more lady villains, and specifically flying model of villain. The show has other woman, but none who get the same androgynous body mold treatment.
Established: ✅️ Gendered designs: Mildly to NO. Unique: By design, no. Othered: Yes for the clone, and Screamer himself, I suppose. No, otherwise. Villainy: ✅️(That's, the whole idea)
Tanks
It needs to be said. Sometimes, when doing things that transgress a norm, anteing up is less subversive. This is another reason why gender variance, female agency and overt sexuality are more common traits of villains. When already defying strictures of society. What's one more.
That's Right. TANKS ARE THE BUTCH WOMAN OF TRANSFORMERS.
Alright. Let me back up. Strika is the stone cold knock out undefeated champ of lady tf designs that, actually has a reoccurring cartoon presence. She is, admittedly, only a reoccurring to minor character.
Her introduction is in another show with techno-organics, this one involved in the struggle between well, the techno and the organic. Strika as we see her, and as the design that will go on to be iterated, is not in her normal transformer body. She has been transferred into a 'vehicon' body. Without a preexisting essence contained in one, vehicons are not considered alive, in the way a transformer is. Visually, they lack the more human body plan, a standard face, feet and hand like appendages.
To further contrast Strika against the two techno-organic woman. Both of them are tall, and slender. Their softer organic shapes designed towards elegance or beauty, whatever your subjective opinion of that result might be. They both have romance subplots too. By the way. Or honestly one subplot and one main plot. Strika. In contrast. Is built like a brick shit house. Her face is. Minimal. And her goal: protecting her planet... by terminating the heroes.
Now, existing as a character that can be referenced for other media, and given the detail that she was a "Famous general", it's off to the races. She makes a wonderful big tank menace that can fill out a background shot, too.
Without her I hardly think we could have Clobber, also from CV. Who is. The true goat. The finest thing, the achievements of all we could ever hope for. A big fuck off woman, gender swapped from a previous male design with minimal faff, with now even more personality and show presence. Friends, wants, desires. Emotions. Thank God for Clobber, Thank Clobber for Clobber. Thank Randolph Heard and Mae Catt for Clobber.
Established: Depends if you want to count that Strika had so much swag they kept drawing/modeling her Gendered designs: FUCK NO Unique: ✅️ Othered: only originally Villainy: ✅️
Cars
So now you have the final piece of the puzzle. In transformers, Autobots are Cars. Yes, there are plenty of autobots that are NOT cars, and there are cars that are not Autobots. But they're exceptions, they're aberrances. They're unique. And Autobots are the norm. They oppose the Decepticons. Decepticons are Villains. And Decepticons can fly. Modal simplified binaries and false dichotomy abound!
And the thing about those original Autobot woman, the one's who largely did not influence all of this? They were cars, it's true, but not like how the men where cars. They've not been designed from transforming car toys, with a shellac of humanoid gender over top. Their designed in the way of human gender. With the car on top.
When the preexisting clause leads to the original designs to be revisited, which, has largely only happened in more recent years. They aren't car woman robots. The cars are literally not part of their bodies, they are additional. Instead of a unifying identity of a robot who is a car, its Arcee and her backpack. Parts of cars get grafted onto their petite lady bodies, and placed anywhere out of the way.
In order to make a transformer a woman, they have to give her a gender, not understanding that that's always been the case. And to give her a woman's gender, she's got to LOOK like a woman, not a transformer. And to look like a woman, she's got to act like a woman. She must be heroic but reactive instead of active, or else, villainous, conniving and or self centered. To be a woman, we must have some other previous woman to explain her presence, or else explain it anew with her unique, strange, or exotic origin. How could she ever be a woman if she simply, existed, looked average, talked average. How could she be a woman if her body is hunks of ungendered car. How can she be a woman if she's everything we expect a transformer to be.
A woman is transgressive, a woman is not normal. Autobots are normal. Autobots are heros. Autobots are men. And Autobots do not fly.
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kenobihater · 2 months
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you ever write up a combination of words you're really proud of at the time bc you think it's vivid but it's actually so atrocious that you remember it eight years later bc it's burned itself into your long-term memory? just me?
#i'm literally laughing my entire ass off rn. i can't believe i found this fic i wrote at 15 and orphaned when i came to my senses abt both#my complete inability and total aversion to writing first person as well as the fact that the english language should never have been#subjected to its words being done dirty like this 😭#also i straight up fucking LIED in the authors note??? i said i'd broken my knee as a kid which is categorically false. i fell down some#stairs and banged it up and it's a tiny bit weak ig but i didn't break it? all any teens born after y2k know is eat hot chip and lie...#still not over the first line... the flip flop bit i remembered but i'd COMPLETELY forgotten 'a shriek seeped out of my throat'. girl. what.#how does a shriek seep exactly? the world may never know...#and the use of 'groped' is also sending me 😭 AND 'crash bash whump thump' girlllll send help holy shit i can't stop coughing & laughing#the rest of the fic isn't quite this bad but it's very purple yet ineloquent and rough. it's a good reminder of how much i've improved and#honestly i'd rather read this utterly amature fic bc it's at least charming in its lack of skill rather than infuriating like some of my#oneshots that are still on my page bc they're more comprehensible but just bad enough to make me cringe. getting mad at this oneshot would#be like getting bad at a kid's stick figure drawing. like. it's just kinda cute to see someone starting out on their creative journey#my old sw oneshots on the other hand are like the awkward growing pains of puberty. you just can't help but wince at the reminder#this is okay to reblog btw bc it's objectively hilarious and i don't mind ppl finding humor in it#len speaks
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arklay · 1 year
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🖊🖊🖊🖊 for diana ofc
a fun little fact about diana is that she wears her watch with the face on the inside of her wrist
while working for umbrella (well, undercover for the rival company, that is), diana's employment was never common knowledge to the public – because why would a pharmaceutical company need a herpetologist? instead, she simply held a position as a researcher at raccoon university, and would occasionally do lectures, but for the most part she would just take the cable car underground to the nest
when diana collaborated with the connections through h.c.f. in the early 2000s, they named one of the d-type bioweapons after her
diana saw a lot of her younger self in sherry when they first met due to the similarities in their situations with their parents, and the way she behaved around both herself and albert. despite her dislike of children, she couldn't help but feel for her and even came to enjoy when she would stay over on occasion (i'd love if my brain would let me finish the rewrite of their first meeting because i touch on all of this in there and diana's thought process ough)
#asks.#denerims#oc: diana#thank youuu emily!! ilysm 💖💖#i think for the diana asks some things are going to be like things i have probably mentioned before but just like a lil more in depth...#you know how i am. or like things i've deleted since posting them. it's fine. i'm normal about her!! but many lil tidbits in my brain i can#share about her too. just not sure if i have enough rn for the couple of asks i got with lots of pens lmaooo head empty and i've talked#about her SO much that there's not much that's not around here somewhere on my blog in previous ask games oopsies or on her page#also ngl i'm forever mad that in the 3 remake they made nest 2. because the university lab was where the vaccine research for the#t-virus was done when things went to shit and they named that daylight. and then for the creating weapons to combat the b.o.w.s and also#test the bioweapons against one another was done at the r&d centre... i'm fine i'm okay it's okay. capcom can i pleaseeee have an outbreak#remake!!! i miss her!!!! but yeah that's weird cause nest 2 didn't exist originally and the nest was a lot bigger?? it's fine.#anyways she just did her typical like Legal research with herpetology and virology there as a front but then she'd take the cable car#underground to the nest because my rules. if travel to the nest was available by cable cars from the waste facility / treatment plant /#arklay labs / rpd sewers & training facility then i can add another one beneath the university :) ALSO in outbreak they travelled to the#actual nest from the hospital and not nest 2 :) so yes. underground system for employees to access all facilities basically 💅🏼#i originally had her work at the chemical plant as her front but then i went no that would make no sense for her background and like both#of the birkins were already there so it would just be too much going on there and needed to split them up#OH also. sorry omg i talk so much but you know me <3 the part about her working at the university. i literally had this mentioned in that#fic where she went over to the s.t.a.r.s. office and um things happened but i cut that off early cause i liked it ending where it did
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I have no idea what I'm going to do for NaNoWriMo this year. I feel very uninspired lately.
I just want to do well in my class and my energy has been low lately (season change on my new medicine, I'm guessing???). I need some energy because it's Shakespeare and I need to keep my grades up to stay in the honors society (no pressure lol).
Much More in the tags as per usual... :P
#also it's grad school so C's are effectively F's which is fun#I got into the honor's society this term but wow I don't know how I managed that (truly)#I switched medications half way through grad school so I feel like a different person wrote that Anne Bronte paper even though it was me!!!#sorry but Shakespeare is not my favorite but he's better than other stuff I've read lately#I'm more of a Romantics/Victorian reader but I like the history aspect of the middle ages and renaissance so I can probs get INTO it#I read A Little Life right before class started and yikes yikes yikes- it's the worst thing I've read in a while :(#I try to read some popular literature as well as the classics#I try to understand why certain books are popular but sometimes it misses me entirely#maybe my taste is really bad but that book could have been better if Jude's suffering wasn't so drawn out (800+ pages...)#it became too much for me tbh#the best book (play) I've read in a while is Richard III#again probably my bad taste but so far Richard III is the top Shakespeare play#I am reading 8 of his plays for my class so we'll see how they all compare- if anyone is interested in that?#King Lear was not as good imo and I have to rewatch/reread Henry V before I can offically give my opinion of that one#my paper is going to be on Richard and Henry so you will probably get shit posts about them and their plays#you're welcome I guess?#maybe I'll post some pictures of the new (used) books I bought off my beloved thriftbooks? It's been a while since I've done that#I feel like I haven't posted any updates in a while so here they are#hope everyone is doing at least okay if not great- it's a weird season#irl updates#grad school#mychatter
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burntoutdaydreamer · 6 months
Text
Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write
I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)
I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.
1) My first draft stays between me and God
I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.
I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.
Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?
Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.
Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.
If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.
2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen
I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.
Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.
If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.
3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word
My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.
I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.
If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.
Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.
4) Write Out of Order
This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.
Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.
I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?
When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.
Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.
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ssahotchnerr · 7 months
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Aaron having to bring his daughter with him to work for whatever reason? She’s tiny enough to not be running around and mainly just sleep on his chest all day. It’s fall outside and she’s in a warm teddy bear outfit so it’s literally like a stuffed animal on his chest as he works. She wouldn’t remember anything she saw in files but he makes sure her head is never near anything bad. Makes his heart warm and happy when the others realize that she’s there and coo over her and the outfit. Penelope takes pictures of them to send to you too 😭🖤
soak it in
i'm going to CRY cw; fem!reader, girl dad!aaron, small foyet reference
aaron's entrance into the bullpen piqued the interest of several, as it was different from any other, usual morning. not only was his briefcase in hand, but also a carseat, and a diaper bag was slung proudly over his shoulder. there were smiles from the team, some small nudges to look amongst the other units, as today's visitor was easily welcomed.
during breakfast, you had been notified your dentist appointment had been moved up, due to the office closing earlier within the day for whatever reason. with such short notice and jessica being unavailable, aaron was the obvious solution, and your daughter came to work with him - until you were done running a few errands and could drop by to retrieve her.
for the meantime - as she was there - aaron opted to work strictly on the no-pictures-included files. while she was never in close proximity to a file regardless, and today's onesie's hood happened to shield her eyes, and her little mind wouldn't process or remember anything - aaron didn't want to take any chances. he yearned to keep his daughter as far away from that, all the horrors the world possessed, for as long as he possibly could. jack had gained the knowledge - that monsters were real, just in human form - sooner than he would have liked. sadly.
currently baby girl was tucked into his chest, her right cheek smushed against him. she dozed off not too long ago; she had gotten a bit antsy and luckily his swivel desk chair allowed him to slowly rock her as he worked, in addition to soothingly shushing her, whispering that it's okay; ultimately calming her down. her little fingers found a near death grip on his shirt, clinging onto him as she slept.
when he had felt the pull of fabric, he gazed down and couldn't help but smile. aaron also took a moment, to soak it all in. the window of time where this was possible, was limited; her against his chest, small enough to be cradled in one arm, quiet and secure in the comfort of his office. all in too fast progression would aaron blink, and she would be way more interested in exploring and bouncing off the walls.
the thought immediately snapped his heart into two. if only she could stay that tiny, forever.
as he wrote, flipped a page, switched files, aaron was extremely careful to his movements. he tried not to rustle her, despite her being comfortably laid in his not-preoccupied-by-writing arm.
the sudden creak of his door lifts his eyes, penelope entering. the quietest of aw’s leaves her as she approaches, with an extra spring in her step at the sight before her. in addition, she doesn't hesitate to whisk out her phone.
"i didn't know this cutie was here today." the words leave her in a gentle, yet high, pitched tone, giddiness laced within. her jaw fully drops as she catches sight of the cozy onesie the littlest hotchner inhabits, "oh my god look at her outfit!"
“garcia.” aaron lightly warns as her volume heightens, his eyes flicking back up to her from his paperwork, his pen slowing.
“i know sorry sorry, i just neeeed to share the cuteness with the mrs.," penelope grins, aiming her camera at baby girl, and aaron, snapping a few pictures. "this is just, too dang adorable. she needs a copy, i need a copy, and i'll make you a copy too, sir."
that tugs aaron's lips into a smile, a small chuckle leaving him. "she's cute, huh?"
"um hello? cute doesn't even begin to cover it. please tell me you're the one who dressed her today. if yes, i might have to scream. just might."
"not today." aaron admitted, dropping his pen and fixing the small hood, which had fallen a bit too much in front of baby girl's face. again, his lips couldn’t help but pull into a smile. god, he loved being a girl dad, and a dad in general. "but, i may have picked it out."
"i was right. i'm going to scream." quick to realize what she said, penelope held out her hands in defense - before aaron even had the opportunity to open his mouth - clarifying with wide eyes. "internally! i'm screaming internally."
aaron took a slight pause, before speaking. “actually, about the copies - ”
penelope’s shoulders dropped in defeat, her lips pulling to the side - an equivalent to an ‘eek’. “was i too enthusiastic?”
“on the contrary,” aaron’s expression softened, laughing gently as to again, not rouse baby girl. “would you mind bringing me two? i’ll need one for in here, and for my wallet.”
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luveline · 8 months
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could you please write something where maybe bombshell!reader hears one of the team members teasing about how she’s torturing spencer and she kinda backs off with the flirting and maybe it’s his turn to hold her hand and call her cute names because even though he always says he doesn’t mind, maybe he does and he just doesn’t want to tell her
tysm for requesting, 1k
Spencer's hair is brown silk in the sun. You bite your tongue to hold in a compliment rearing to come out, saccharine and completely true. Looking sweet, Spence. 
You love to compliment him and especially while Hotch is out of earshot. He and Derek play pairs against two agents from a different unit, their tennis racquets a shiny FBI navy. You start to speak and bite it back —a memory flashes, a shouting stop sign. 
You'd been teasing Spencer as he left the room, something about his indecisive hair. He's cut it shorter but left his curls without product, and you love it. 
Poor guy, Emily'd murmured, lips set against the rim of her coffee cup. 
What's the matter with him? you asked, perplexed. 
Nothing, just that he spins into a total meltdown every time you guys are within ten feet of each other. He must be exhausted.
She was joking and you know that, but something deep down worries she's right. It's not fair for you to keep winding him up… Especially when Spencer might be going along with you because he isn't sure how to say no. 
What if you're forcing yourself on him? 
You're sitting together on a small blanket in the grass with Anderson and a few of the other less competitive BAU agents. You bring your bottled iced tea to your forehead to cool down, condensation wetting your hot skin. The top of your head feels as though it has the full concentration of the sun beating against it. 
Spencer looks up at your movement. He's been reading a book for pleasure, or so he says, so he isn't going a mile a minute but he's still way faster than the average Joe. "Do you want to go find some shade?" he asks. 
"You look comfortable," you say, putting your iced tea aside.
Which is to say, I don't want you to come with me, it would disrupt you. Spencer nods and turns to the brown leather of his familiar satchel, popping the buckle open to dig around inside. 
"Do you think this would be okay?" he asks, bringing out his baseball cap. 
The fabric is starchy and the brim stiff as you accept it and wedge it over your head. You don't immediately cool, but your heart spins strange loops. "Thank you," you say. Thank you, handsome, gorgeous, baby, all beg to be said. 
Spencer stays looking at you for longer than normal. 
"Do I have something on my face?" you ask, swatting self consciously at your cheeks. 
"Nothing. You look really pretty," he says. 
"Thank you." Another loop. You point at his book, fingertip hitting a creamy page with a small thud. "Is this any good?" 
"I think you'd really like it, it feels like that last book I borrowed from you, and you loved that. They're very similar. I can lend it to you when I'm done." 
"Don't rush it for my sake."
Spencer gives you a private smile. "I won't. Just because you could watch a movie at two times speed doesn't mean you should." 
Your returning smile isn't half as nice. No shared lightness, no bright eyes. You're feeling awkward and unhappy —you really like Spencer. Like, you think you could be happy together for a long long time sort of like. He's charming and sweet and no one is ever as kind to him as he deserves, which is why you're trying to be kind now by putting distance between you.
You'll be brash forever. You can't change that, and Spencer doesn't need the stress of dealing with you, not on top of everything else. 
His smile fades as yours does. Quiet, without fuss, he scoots back on the picnic blanket, putting you knee to knee. The subtle muscle of his arm presses to yours and his hand wraps gently around your wrist as he dips his head down, his cheek touching briefly to your shoulder. 
"I know it's nice, but if the heat is getting to you we should go inside," he says, his fingers sliding across your palm to slot between your own. He squeezes your hand. "Heat stroke isn't obvious at first. Do you feel woozy?"
You stare at your twined fingers. He surprises you again, being this soft with you, and being uncharacteristically forward. Or maybe not uncharacteristic at all; Spencer won't let something like timidity stop him from comforting someone that needs it. 
"Spence," you murmur, closing your eyes, face angled down. 
"What?" 
"I'm sorry if I… If I've been messing you around. But I don't think this is a good idea." 
"What's not a good idea?" 
You can't make yourself say it. Instead, you rub the back of his hand, more for your own comfort than his, your tongue like a useless lump in your mouth. 
"You're sorry? Are you sure you're okay?" Spencer asks, no heed to the people sitting with you as he lets go of your hand to put his arm behind your shoulder like a shield. 
"I don't want to torture you," you say. 
Your friends love that word. You torture Spencer with your flirting and your easy affection. 
Spencer makes a face, eyes squinting and nose wrinkled. "They're just kidding when they say that. Emily, Morgan, they like making fun of me, it's like, sibling bonding or something. They don't say it because there's actually something to feel sorry about." He lowers his voice, bashful but sincere at once, "If you're torturing me, I guess I'm a masochist." 
You laugh without thinking, a breathless, girlish sound you'd regret if you had the wherewithal. "You're a masochist?" you ask. 
He takes the brim of your borrowed hat and pushes it up to unobstruct the view of your eyes. 
"If that's what it takes," he says. A hint of wryness creeps into his otherwise smooth tone. 
Despite his brave talk and his steady eye contact, his face has started to blush. A rosy hue kisses the tops of his cheeks and his nose, a dusting of pink splodges stark against his paleness. The curve of his lips seems extra tantalising now. He's very, very pretty. 
And he doesn't mind stepping in to take the reins when you're unsure of things. 
"We really should sit in the shade for a bit," he says. "Let's get drinks from the gazebo. Yeah?" 
You're halfway through a nod when he kisses your cheek too quickly for you to respond. You follow him to the gazebo without any more reluctance, weaselling your hand back into his, and attempt to pull another kiss from him.
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harrysfolklore · 4 months
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Tom meeting reader at an event and he’s just flirting the whole night and ends up getting her number
i watched the golden globes and got inspired to write this! i hope you like it <3
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
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If there was an award for "most nervous person in attendance" at the Golden Globes, you'd have won it by now.
Award shows never failed to make your stomach feel in knots the entire time, specially when you were nominated, like tonight.
The Great had been a huge breakout role, a period drama that had captivated audiences and critics. Now, you stood among the nominees for Female Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy at the Golden Globes, and you could feel your heart pounding as the moment of your category being announced approached.
"Love, are you okay?" you heard a voice calling for you, turning your head you realized that it was Dua (yes, the Dua Lipa) who was sitting next to you.
"Just a bit nervous," you told her with a small smile, "I think I'll head backstage for a minute, I need a breather."
She assured you with another smile and you made your way backstage, a commercial break started just on cue.
You had rehearsed your acceptance speech a dozen times in case you won, and also had a pep talk ready in case you didn't, yet the nerves persisted. You knew you were competing against some big names, and whatever the result people online would have something to say.
Your train of thought was interrupted by your body colliding with someone, almost dropping your clutch in the process.
"Whoa there, careful," a voice chuckled, catching your arm.
"Sorry, I didn't see where I was going," you said, your cheeks flushing from embarrassment, of course you'd run into someone in classic romcom cliche style.
"No harm done. You alright?" he grinned and you recognized him, it was the man who had been flooding your Tiktok for you page for the past month, Tom Blyth, "I'm Tom, by the way."
"Nice to meet you, I'm YN," you smiled back, "And yeah, I'm okay. Just a bit nervous about my category. Oh you're presenting it, aren't you?"
"I'll have the privilege, yes," his charm effortlessly showed, "And just so you know, I'm rooting for you. You were phenomenal in The Great, one of my favorite shows I watched last year."
Your nerves seemed to ease a bit, his presence and charm making you relax. There was something about him that felt comforting, even though it was your first time meeting him.
"Thank you, that's really nice," you smiled at him, "But I don't want to get too confident, the other nominees are just as great."
"Honestly, I'd bet my hat you're taking that Golden Globe home tonight."
Tom squeezed your arm gently and you smiled again, and before another word could be exchanged, a crew member's voice echoed through the backstage area announcing that the show was back from commercial break in 30 seconds.
"Well, looks like it's showtime" Tom glanced towards the exit, then back at you. "Knock 'em dead out there, YN. You got this."
"We'll see."
With a final wink sent your way, you parted ways. You returned to your seat and tried to enjoy the ceremony as much as you could, your nerves still in the back of your head but your interaction with Tom making you feel more at ease now.
"And now, presenting the award for Female Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy, please welcome The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes star, Tom Blyth!"
You heard the host say and you knew t was time, and once again a wave of nerves and uncertainty filled your body.
The crowd erupted in applause as Tom stepped onto the stage, his confidence and charm shinning through.
"Good evening, everyone. It's an honor to be here tonight among such incredible talents," Tom smiled, "Here are the nominees for Female Actor in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy."
A video played showing all the nominees but you felt like your mind was numb, you didn't even realize it had ended until Tom's voice was heard again.
"And the Golden Globe goes to," he paused for suspense, and you could see a small smirk making its way to his face as he read the name, "YN!"
Time seemed to freeze, you tried to process everything as you heard the applause from the crowd and those around you congratulating you and before you knew it, you were on stage taking the award from Tom's hands and giving him a quick hug.
"I told you." He quietly whispered in your ear and gave you a wink, a moment that the cameras had caught.
You gave your speech, thanking your cast mates, directors, family, friends and the rest of the nominees. Once you were done you headed backstage with a proud smile and your newest award in hand.
The night went on and you definitely enjoyed every minute of it, mingling with other actors and thanking everyone who approached to congratulate you.
Once the ceremony wrapped up, you headed to the after party, you were sipping on a fruity drink by the bar when you felt a presence behind you.
"Hey, can I steal a moment with the newest Golden Globe winner?"
You turned around noticing it was Tom, he had changed to a different suit and you couldn't help but think that he looked really handsome.
"Sure, what do you need, president Snow?" you laughed, feeling a newfound confidence around him.
"How about your number? I'd hate to lose touch with Hollywood's latest sensation." Tom flashed his charming smile again, taking you by surprise and making your entire body feel giddy.
"Smooth, Blyth. Very smooth." Blushing furiously, you playfully rolled your eyes.
"Well, when you really really want something, smooth comes naturally."
And just like that, after winning a major award for your career and feeling on top of the world, you found herself exchanging numbers with Tom Blyth, excited to see where that would take you.
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he-calls-me-kitten · 2 months
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Sugar, Spice and a Tempting Vice
VA! MC x OM! Characters
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"Hey Levi, any new game recommendations for me? I just finished the last lot of books Satan suggested." You asked, plopping down your head on his shoulder to look at his screen.
"M-MC! You have to warn me before you do such things!" He muttered, his ears turning red as he scrolled some webpages pages for you. "But okay yeah these are the new games that are out recently... see anything you like?"
"Oh my God! It's out it's out!" You pointed excitedly at the screen. "Pretty Little Things is out! Finally!! I was dying to tell you all about it!"
Levi visibly stiffened up. "You-you were waiting for this particular game to come out? Are you sure it's not another game with a similar sounding name?"
"Nah uh this is the exact same one. Look up the list of voice actors in this game!"
"WHAT?! MC WHY IS YOUR NAME IN HERE?????"
"Yes! This was the new part-time job I couldn't tell you about since it was still in production! Im so glad you can just play it now!"
"...it's uh ready for download on all platforms already...so which character did voice?"
"Oh spoiler alert, my character is the only one that doesn't have a name, you have assign me one, the same way you name yourself. They even designed the characters to resemble all the VA's and add in some of their personalities, isn't that sweet?"
"Hahaha y-yeah definitely sweet! I'll be sure to check it out soon!"
"Great! Lemme know what you think of the game okay?!" You squeezed him in a small hug before you left.
Later in the Demon Brothers only group chat:
Levi: Code Red! Code Red! ASHSKSHSKSKSJJSKKS
Mammon: WHAT WHAT THAT MEANS AN MC RELATED EMERGENCY RIGHT??
Asmo: OMG are they OKAY?? Should I go check up on them in their room!?!
Satan: I'm already on my way.
Mammon: NOT BEFORE ME YOU'RE NOT!
Belphie: Is MC hurt in anyway?
Beel: Did they pass out from hunger?! I can bring them emergency snacks right away
Lucifer: Can you lot not lose your minds everytime MC is mentioned? Pathetic. Levi, calm down and tell us what's wrong.
Beel: But Lucifer I just saw you hurrying up the stairs to MC's room too...
Satan: Typical Lucifer. By the way, MC is perfectly fine, happy even. Levi what are you on about?
Mammon: Yeah MC can't stop smiling! It's a good thing that happened, you idiot! Why would you scare us like that?
Asmo: Omg apparently MC voice acted in a new game! Levi I need you to download it for me ASAP please!
Beel: Me too, please.
Belphie: Me three.
Lucifer: I've already done it, you all can do it yourselves if you could do your own work for once.
Satan: Oh shut up, MC just did it for you right now as they did it for me.
Levi: It's a Dating Simulator. With multiple H-rated DLC endings. And MC is one of the dateables.
...
Levi: Hello?!! Did you guys not see my message?!
Levi: Seriously no reaction?! You guys aren't freaked out by this?!?
Beel: I just heard several doors opening and closing at once.
Asmo: Oh come Levi, I think you already know what our reaction is Levi ♥️ How can we possibly hold in our excitement after such a news!?
Levi: Are you all downloading the game together?!!! Y'all are hogging the bandwidth too much, my download speed has gone way down!!
Simeon: Hey
Simeon: I heard some demons in a cafe, raving about a game where MC plays one of the main characters?
Solomon: Indeed MC just sent us all a link right now.
Simeon: Oh is that so? I'll get Luke to help me download it after he's done with his.
Levi: Luke is playing it too?! I don't think it's appropriate given it's certain hidden endings!!
Barbatos: MC already made sure of it. He only has access to the sibling and friendship routes. It's a special version they added for all ages.
Diavolo: It already has downloads in the ten thousands. I'm really glad to see how MC is beloved by Devildom.
Levi: Are NONE of you affected by the fact that there are erotic routes with MC's VOICE?!!
Solomon: Oh I personally cannot wait hear my adorable apprentice's performance.
Barbatos: Ahem. I'd rather not comment on it.
Simeon: Same.
Diavolo: Same.
Levi: Sigh. We really are just a helpless lot at the mercy of MC.
To be continued...
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attleboy · 2 months
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I hold you SO SO closed in my handsss,,, I love seeing you in my notifications it's always such an honor and makes my day so much
-@sm-baby
omg hiiii mushroom!! :D i'm gonna be honest, i've been staring at this trying to figure out how to respond for a while but i am far too flattered to think of a good response! consider me rendered speechless...
anyway, i just hope you know the feeling is mutual and i am also very happy when i see you around!!! i'm going to use this as an excuse to toss some carnival au art your way which you'd enjoy, i hope?? ^-^
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yes this one's based off madagascar 3 which... please don't judge me too hard for that... that movie's iconic (to me at least 😭)
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there's more to these but idk i wasn't feeling it so crops are all i'm giving out
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this one i'll probably still finish but i like how caine looks so here's a sneak peek
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that was all pomni and caine wasn't it uhhh. whoops... here's a couple jax i also like that guy
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and this isn't the carnival au, but it IS showtime and i know you love them... technically a wip but it's gonna take sooo many rendered pages to finish that idk if i'll ever actually get it done so just take this bit
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okay that's it, ty again for stopping by!!!
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jenroses · 6 months
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Hey! Please feel free to ignore but you did say to ask you about masks :P the ones I've found that are multiple layers for max protection are really stiff, which squishes my face and leads to gaps. Do you have recommendations? Thanks!
I know that there's a lot of noise about elastomeric masks but for me they're a nonstarter because of the stiffness you talk about. I think it's important to understand that most of the 94-95 standard masks that actually meet that standard are going to be plenty good enough where most people are concerned. Is it possible to catch Covid with a mask on? Yes. I've done it.
Is it likely? No. I'm immune compromised. This isn't data, but our experience has been that a combination of masks, reasonable common sense and good filtration are enough that despite having a school-aged child, a husband who travels for conventions, and me, immune suppressed, with a college student living in our house, I have only had covid twice, the first time was an unfortunate collision of me going to a store at the wrong time where a clerk had both covid and the flu and gave them to me, and the other one involved a family member not using a mask at a public event while eating. Even then, when I caught covid and the flu at the same time and isolated immediately with filtration and everyone coming into my space being masked... not one other person in our house caught it, and when someone else caught it a year later, the only people who caught it were sharing sleeping spaces. Our roommates did not catch it, and everyone was masking from the moment of the first positive test. When my kid got half-assed about masking at school, he immediately got flu and strep at the same time. I pointed out that his lack of care about it could mean a lot of missed school for him and serious health impacts for both of us, and he started wearing a mask again, and did not get sick for the rest of the school year. He HATES the masks that go behind the head and wears Armbrust kn95 masks exclusively (dark blue, lol) And it's pretty clear that without the masks he was getting sick a lot and with he just...doesn't. He is wearing them all day except for lunch through full school days, so that says something. Armbrust will send little behind the head doohickies to keep them off the ears but he never uses them. At $2ish per mask they're not the cheapest but he uses one mask for multiple days so it's not too bad overall cost wise. They have kid sizing, but he's in the regular adult size now at 11. Now, I'll talk about Armbrust for a minute because I really like the company. On pretty much every mask they sell you'll see a video of one of their people reviewing the mask and going over testing data... but they ALSO have reviews of almost every other mask on the market, bad, good and in between, and if you find a mask on Amazon or something and want to know more about it, search the mask name and "armbrust" and the youtube video and product data page will pop up. I've found several special masks for very particular needs by looking through their database for combinations of breathability and shape that weren't even masks they sold. So if you are struggling, take a look at the database, eliminate "failed" masks, look for the ones that meet your needs and then watch the video to see what he says about them first. There are some VERY inexpensive masks out there that work very well, and some masks that are incredibly breathable or incredibly high filtration and a few unicorns that are both.
Now Hubby is okay with the same KN95 masks that our son likes but he exercises and his lungs get a little touchy sometimes so he needs maximum ease in breathing, so using that database I found Dr. Puri masks. Here's the Armbrust review. Here's the listing I found them on. Hubby LOVES them. He also prefers behind the ear. About $1.50 each.
I *hate* behind the ear with a hot hate, they bug me. But I can't just use one type of mask all the time because I have EDS and neck issues so pressure there can be awkward, plus I get short of breath sometimes anyway (history of pulmonary embolism that long predates covid) and I have sensory skin issues.
Bar none the most breathable mask I've ever tried, which also does not fog my glasses, is the Drager mask. These are soft, extraordinarily easy to breathe through, and have a unique strap that makes on/off very easy, and lets you pull the top strap and let it hang around your neck if needed. Unfortunately it has a VERY snug fit across the nose and leaves marks on my cheeks, or it would be perfect, but it's a good option, and possibly someone with a smaller face would have an easier time. These are possibly the best filtering and most breathable masks on the market, so for high risk situations this is the mask I would use. They filter 99.7% in testing. They're a little more expensive at about $1.25 per when I checked today. For a good intersection of fit and comfort, but a little less breathable, are the ACI N95 surgical respirator duckbills. These do not leave marks, don't fog much, good seal around the face, and the single most comfortable head strap I've ever seen. The fabric is very smooth, it is sensory good, but the breathability is not as high. It's not hard to breathe through, it's just not as easy as Drager or Dr. Puri. But... They could probably pass an N99 standard by Armbrust's testing, as they filter >99.4% of particulate, where the standard is 95%. These are also incredibly cheap. If you get their subscribe and save discount (you can do every 6 months) you can get 50 for $25, so 50 cents apiece.
All of these masks are pretty soft, easy to wear, and very good at what they do.
The TL:DR though.... The important thing is to find a mask that you will wear consistently and correctly every time you need it. A mask that hangs on your face and slips is not a good mask for you. A mask you hate so much you make excuses not to wear it is not a good mask for you. A mask that breaks easily or makes it hard to breathe so you end up taking it off is not a good mask. If what you have isn't working, there are LOTS of things that might.
Last Armbrust plug: THEY HAVE A SAMPLER PACK. You can buy a pack of a zillion different types and styles of mask and try a bunch! And order the one you like best! If you aren't sick, one sampler pack can be tried by the people in your household so everyone can figure out what works for them!
Also, I used to get sick very very often and now I just...don't. Not from contagious viruses, anyway. I don't understand why people are so cavalier about it. I've been sick less since 2020 than in any given six month period in my entire life. Despite being on immune suppressants.
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bunnyhugs77 · 3 months
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Honey I'm Home
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୨୧- Just a little slice of life of a hard working dad, his tired wife and their twin girls.
୨୧ WC: 900
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Jungkook pushes open the door to your small two-bedroom flat, his keys jingling in the door which attracted the two little girls on the other side to come running instantly.
The soft patter of their socked feet hitting the wooden floors as they rushed to his as fast as they could. "Daddy!" The girls squealed. Jungkook crouched down, his once drained expression replaced with one full of delight.
"Girls!" He exclaims, taking the both of them in each of his arms, listening to their adorable laughter as he engulfed them into his tight embrace. "Daddy! Can't breathe!" Aria squeaks from where her head rested against his chest. Always the dramatic one of the two.
Jungkook laughs, apologizing and letting them go. Aria runs back to the kitchen where he could only assume the source of that flavourful scent was coming from. Meanwhile Hye-Ji stayed back to show him the flowers she'd picked just for him.
"Are these for me?" Bending at the waist to collect the crushed dandelions that were once in the grip of her fist. She nods with the brightest smile he's ever seen.
Picking her up as well, letting her rest on his side with one hand, careful not to ruffle the very elaborate princess dress she was wearing as he finally begins to make his way to the kitchen. "Thank you so much princess, I'll make sure to add this to my collection." He places a kiss to the crown of her head.
There you were. His eyes seemed to soften once they landed on you. In a button up and your favourite pair of mom jeans." Hi baby," He gets the chance to peck your lips briefly before Hye-Ji was asking to be put down.
She quickly ran off to her sister in the living room where there were colouring pages ripped out, building blocks all over the place, a box of crayons in the laundry bin full of clothes that were waiting to be folded.
"Hi." You manage a smile before resuming your blank stare into the pot of tomato sauce for the spaghetti that you'd been stirring for god knows how long. "Is everything okay?" Disregarding your mundane 'yeah' he know something is up.
"Honey, what's wrong? Talk to me." You sigh, dropping your shoulders, finally looking at him. He was in his typical work-wear for his day job as a private banker meanwhile he works part-time nights as a mail courier.
"Today was a bad day." Letting your head fall into your husband's firm chest in defeat. His hands raised to hold you in his arms the same way the have been for the last 5 years.
The shiny silver band of his wedding ring catching the light for a moment as he gently rubbed your back. "You wanna talk about it?"
You pout softly, "There's nothing to say, look at the state of the house. Hye-Ji turned the house upside down looking for her dress this morning. Then I took them to the grocery store and Aria got lost." Jungkook's eyebrows raise, but you weren't done.
"I finally got them to sleep for an hour while I did some laundry, and then I ended up falling asleep myself, waking up to crayons and toys everywhere, and Hye-Ji was crying because she missed you and then I started crying because I missed you too and-"
You couldn't believe this was making you tear up. The day was hectic and the fact you'd have to do it all over again tomorrow. Jungkook hushes you in a comforting manner, practically swaddling you in his arms. "I'm sorry I couldn't be here," you sniffle, stepping back.
"It's not your fault. You work two jobs. it's just hard sometimes." You admit and Jungkook gets an idea. "Go." He says and your brow arches, "I'll finish dinner, and take care of the girls. Go rest, or read that Jasper Wilde book you've been wanting to read. Please. Let me help, you deserve it." He pecks your forehead and you weren't going to fight him on it.
Leaving the kitchen and the responsibilities to him. Telling yourself that it would only be a thirty minute nap but it turned into 2 hours. By the time you walked back into the kitchen, it looked like you'd walked into a whole new house.
Everything was neat and tidy, the girls were sitting on the ground with a bowl of abandoned grapes shared between them as they watched Moana with an entranced gaze.
The laundry basket was gone, the floors were clean and the air smelled of soft fresh linens and cinnamon. Looking back to the kitchen where Jungkook quietly tidied up, humming softly to himself. You stood hidden from where you were admiring your little family.
You may not have had much but you had everything you needed right here. "You're amazing you know that?" Jungkook says as you approached him. "I should be saying that to you." You counter.
"No. I mean it, Y/n. Having two jobs is easy, but doing what you do everyday is a job for a saint. I appreciate everything you do for us, I love you so much." His lips pressing against your forehead while your heart felt so full of love. "I love you." You say.
"I have to potty!" Aria declares and the both of you look at each other.
"Not it."
"Not it."
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