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#okay a few things
braisedhoney · 10 months
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we’re supposed to be the good guys.
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captainhunnicutt · 11 days
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Mike as "Hammond" in Happiness is Dirty Hands // This is the Life (1968)
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whetstonefires · 11 months
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You know what I realize that people underestimate with Pride & Prejudice is the strategic importance of Jane.
Because like, I recently saw Charlotte and Elizabeth contrasted as the former being pragmatic and the latter holding out for a love match, because she's younger and prettier and thinks she can afford it, and that is very much not what's happening.
The Charlotte take is correct, but the Elizabeth is all wrong. Lizzie doesn't insist on a love match. That's serendipitous and rather unexpected. She wants, exactly as Mr. Bennet says, someone she can respect. Contempt won't do. Mr. Bennet puts it in weirdly sexist terms like he's trying to avoid acknowledging what he did to himself by marrying a self-absorbed idiot, but it's still true. That's what Elizabeth is shooting for: a marriage that won't make her unhappy.
She's grown up watching how miserable her parents make one another; she's not willing to sign up for a lifetime of being bitter and lonely in her own home.
I think she is very aware, in refusing Mr. Collins, that it's reasonably unlikely that anyone she actually respects is going to want her, with her few accomplishments and her lack of property. That she is turning down security and the chance keep the house she grew up in, and all she gets in return may be spinsterhood.
But, crucially, she has absolute faith in Jane.
The bit about teaching Jane's daughters to embroider badly? That's a joke, but it's also a serious potential life plan. Jane is the best creature in the world, and a beauty; there's no chance at all she won't get married to someone worthwhile.
(Bingley mucks this up by breaking Jane's heart, but her prospects remain reasonable if their mother would lay off!)
And if Elizabeth can't replicate that feat, then there's also no doubt in her mind that Jane will let her live in her house as a dependent as long as she likes, and never let it be made shameful or awful to be that impoverished spinster aunt. It will be okay never to be married at all, because she has her sister, whom she trusts absolutely to succeed and to protect her.
And if something eventually happens to Jane's family and they can't keep her anymore, she can throw herself upon the mercy of the Gardeners, who have money and like her very much, and are likewise good people. She has a support network--not a perfect or impregnable one, but it exists. It gives her realistic options.
Spinsterhood was a very dangerous choice; there are reasons you would go to considerable lengths not to risk it.
But Elizabeth has Jane, and her pride, and an understanding of what marrying someone who will make you miserable costs.
That's part of the thesis of the book, I would say! Recurring Austen thought. How important it is not to marry someone who will make you, specifically, unhappy.
She would rather be a dependent of people she likes and trusts than of someone she doesn't, even if the latter is formally considered more secure; she would rather live in a happy, reasonable household as an extra than be the mistress of her own home, but that home is full of Mr. Collins and her mother.
This is a calculation she's making consciously! She's not counting on a better marriage coming along. She just feels the most likely bad outcome from refusing Mr. Collins is still much better than the certain outcome of accepting him. Which is being stuck with Mr. Collins forever.
Elizabeth is also being pragmatic. Austen also endorses her choice, for the person she is and the concerns she has. She's just picking different trade-offs than Charlotte.
Elizabeth's flaw is not in her own priorities; she doesn't make a reckless choice and get lucky. But in being unable to accept that Charlotte's are different, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with Charlotte.
Because realistically, when your marriage is your whole family and career forever, and you only get to pick the ones that offer themselves to you, when you are legally bound to the status of dependent, you're always going to be making some trade-offs.
😂 Even the unrealistically ideal dream scenario of wealthy handsome clever ethical Mr. Darcy still asks you to undergo personal growth, accommodate someone else's communication style, and eat a little crow.
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spectral-honey · 2 years
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AU where Jason gets his revenge by becoming a lawyer and getting joker sentenced to the death penalty
Bruce is conflicted about it but any time he tries to say anything on the subject Alfred just talks over him like "oh we're so proud of you master Jason you finished college and you didn't even use your father's extensive resources that could've easily gotten someone in this family a degree aren't we so proud master Bruce that Jason got himself a respectable profession--"
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egophiliac · 2 months
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(almost) four years in, and I finally had time to draw something for the anniversary! woo! 🎉🎉🎉
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b4kuch1n · 8 months
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polymer broadcast signal hijack
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inkskinned · 8 months
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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robindaydream · 8 months
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A Few Days After A SLARPG fancomic
minor SLARPG spoilers contained within
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Please stop telling people to die. Please stop telling people to kill themselves. For the love of everything, please stop. Don’t do that.
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penny00dreadful · 7 months
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STWG Prompt: star
Steve blinked, the cogs finally sliding into place.
"You're the star! You're the star?"
"Yes! Obviously." The star rolled his eyes. 
He was all idiosyncrasies. Gorgeous but downright snippy. A shock of long dark hair and dark eyes to go with his pale skin. Black tattoos up and down his arms and a heavy silvery cloak shrouding his lithe body.
Steve frowned. "You don't look like a star."
The star scoffed. “Heard that one before.” He muttered before scowling back at Steve. “Well why don’t you tell me then, in your infinite human wisdom, what stars are supposed to look like?”
“I don’t know! Like,” he waved his hand up towards the sky, “like a big clump of burning rock or something. I’m not a fucking astronomer. Why do you look so… human?”
“Why do you look so celestial?” The star raised his wrist to his mouth, trying to chew through the tether Steve had managed to secure him with while he was still getting his bearings, feeling that strange pull, telling him that this human shaped lump at the bottom of this crater was what he was looking for. "Can you take this fucking thing off me?"
"Uh… sorry, no. I can't do that."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because… well because I promised Nancy I'd bring her back the star as a show of… love?" He sounded more unsure the more he spoke. Back when the star was just a meteor or some dust, this was all so simple but now…
"Some girl has demanded you go out and bring back a fucking captive as a show of love?"
"No, that's- she didn't ask me to do anything!"
Actually thinking about it, Nancy had looked almost resigned when he'd suggested it. And a little sad. Like that wasn't really where she had wanted the conversation to go.
Fuck.
Had she been trying to break up with him?
“So you just decided to go into slavery on your own?”
“No! I- I have a way to send you home after… when I show Nancy what I’ve done for her. When I prove it to her. She won’t want to keep you after… she doesn’t abide by slavery.”
The star huffed, crossing his arms and pulling Steve forward a little with the restraint. He didn’t even seem to notice. “And what if I don’t want to go home?”
“Why wouldn’t you-” Steve stopped. He supposed it wasn’t really his place to ask. “Then I’ll free you, you can do whatever the hell it is you came down here to do.”
The star looked at him, thinking, turning it over in his head with a little side to side motion. "Okay, how about this? We help each other out. You let me go and I promise to come with you back to Nancy and then you help me find what I came down here to find.”
Steve frowned again. He wasn’t sure. The star could be lying to him but Robin always told him he was a great judge of character. And it didn’t seem like this star was going to run away. He wanted something down here, on earth.
“What are you trying to find?”
The star’s face went a little pink at that.
Interesting. 
“I… I’ve been watching humans for hundreds of years, your wars, your hate for each other, your petty differences, the natural disasters that devastate your people. But through all that there always seems to be a thread of love. Even if it’s just one person plucking her sister out of the floodwaters or two lovers on opposite sides of the fight meeting in secret… love is always there and I… I want… that.”
“You came down here to find love?”
The star turned his back on him, embarrassment radiating off of his body in waves. “Yeah. So what if I did?”
How could Steve ever say no to that?
He pulled at the lash around the star’s wrist, allowing it to slip free and dragged it back towards himself.
“Okay.”
The star turned around, his big brown eyes wide in shock. “Okay? Just like that?”
“Yeah. Just like that.”  He held his hand out. “I’m Steve. Do you have a name? I’m sorry I didn’t ask before now.”
The star looked down at his hand as he took three steps closer, looking back up at Steve’s face then down again, extending his own hand, slim fingers and all.
“Eddie.”
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Nancy had wanted to break up with him as it turned out and hadn’t known how to do it after Steve had adamantly told her he'd travel outside of Hawkins to find her the star.
When he came back to her to tell her he’d found his own love in Eddie on his travels she beamed at him, placing a kiss against his cheek.
“I’m glad." She said. "You deserve it.”
Eddie, who had never come across a ring or necklace at a market stall that he didn’t like, always drawn to the shine. Eddie who had shed the bright almost white silvery cloak for blackened leathers and heavy boots, as dark as the night sky. Eddie, who had gifted Steve a single lock of hair to bring back to Nancy, promising to meet up with him in a few hours, once he’d finished spending all of Steve’s money at the closest bookshop beyond the Gate that separated Faeria from Steve’s world.
Eddie’s lock of hair that Steve now handed over to Nancy who looked into the handkerchief with confusion.
“Steve?”
He looked down.
Eddie’s hair had turned to stardust.
“He can’t cross the Gate.” Steve whispered to himself, horrified before turning and running with everything he had back the way he came, Nancy’s shouts fading out behind him.
He wasn’t sure how long it took him to run through the old cobbled streets, out into the field but just as the Gate came into sight, he saw Eddie on the opposite side round the corner and start walking towards it.
He could do it, he could make it, he could-
“Eddie!” He shouted, stopping Eddie dead in his tracks before his boot could cross the border.
“Ste-?” 
His words were cut off as Steve bodily slammed into him, throwing them both into the grass and away from the Gate.
“Fucking hell, sweetheart.” Eddie groaned, rubbing the back of his head. “That excited to see me?”
“You.” Steve panted, clinging on as tight as he could. “Can’t cross. Gate. Hair. Turned. To. Lump of rock.”
“Oh shit, really?” Eddie ran a hand up and down his back, settling into the grass. “That would have been awkward. And you came to save me?” Eddie sighed, fluttering his eyelashes. Steve could feel it against his cheek. “My hero.”
He pushed himself up onto his elbows, looking at Eddie spread out below him, dark curls fanning out around his head and a cheeky grin on his face. He lowered himself down for a kiss, muttering into his mouth “You’re damn right I came to save you. Can’t have anything taking my star away.”
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apomaro-mellow · 7 months
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Wrong Number 4
Steve was eternally grateful that he'd finally told Robin about Eddie. Because now, he could torture her with his outfit choices. Robin groaned and covered her eyes as Steve held out more shirts.
"What do you think? Stripes or no stripes?"
"Steeeeeeve", Robin whined.
"You're the one that told me stripes really shows off my chest."
"Is Eddie a tits guy? Or an ass man?"
Steve put the shirts back in the closet. "I don't know. I don't know Robin and the fact that this is a video call date makes it worse."
"Actually....actually it makes it better." Robin uncovered her face and grabbed Steve's shoulders. "You'll be on the phone the whole time!"
"Yes...We've established this", Steve said, not sure where she was going with this.
"I mean, if you're doing a video call, YOU control what Eddie sees."
Steve stared at her face for a long while as she simply emoted using her eyebrows. "Robin, no."
"Robin, yes. Come on. We're going shopping. You're waaay overdue for this. And I need a couple of things myself."
"Things going that well with Chrissy?", Steve asked right before Robin threw his shoes at him.
"What do you think I'm doing while you're on your date?", Robin grinned.
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Eddie's excitement just got more and more intense with each day. By Wednesday he was vibrating any time his hands weren't occupied with something. He only hoped it didn't translate to his texts. Cool as a cucumber, that was his motto when it came to Steve. He couldn't come on too strong.
(9:45 am) Thinking about those beefy thighs (9:46 am) god i wanna wrap them around my head
Perfect. Smooth. And not too much.
At least he didn't think so at the time. About an hour later Eddie remembered that Steve was at work and possibly reading that text in a room full of prepubescents. And he knew he was going to reap what he sowed when Steve texted him later.
[12:01 pm] You are the ultimate distraction.
(12:02 pm) sry. i forgot you were at work
[12:03 pm] I don't think you are sorry. In fact, I think you need to be punished.
Eddie needed to get a job in coding because there was no emoji that properly conveyed the intensity of the 'boi-yoi-yoi-yoing' going on in his pants. How grateful he was that he didn't need to talk. Texting would cover any stuttering he was sure to do.
(12:04 pm) punishment? 😏 (12:04 pm) what kind of punishment?
[12:05 pm] See me after class, Mr. Munson.
God, four o'clock couldn't come fast enough. Eddie knew that'd be around the time Steve got home from work. He spent about an hour rolling around in bed before getting up, needing to distract himself. He wasn't due for work today, but he went in anyway to loiter.
"I can tell you're horny and I can tell you're just idling until you get your dick wet. Get lost, some of us have actual work to do", Jeff said.
Eddie let out a dramatic gasp. "Jeffery! Jeffords! Jeffaniel! Jeffanie!"
"Are you just going to sit there, making up full names for me or are you gonna get off your ass?"
"I'll replace all the boards and sweep out the alleys for the next two hours", Eddie said, holding his hands together like he was praying to his friend.
Jeff rubbed his chin as he considered it. "Only if you take this next party I have coming in."
Eddie looked at the group arriving. There had to be at least a dozen. And he just knew they only reserved one lane. They always only reserved one lane.
"You drive a hard bargain Jimothy."
"Not even close", Jeff crossed his arms. "And it's this or whatever ants in your pants you'll do if you're unoccupied."
Curse his friends for knowing him so well. Eddie held up his end of the deal, taking care of the party. Turned out it was a birthday party (happy 14th Ashton). But two hours later, the time had passed and Eddie went back home. He still had an hour to spare (he didn't want to leave Steve waiting), so he spent the rest of the time coming up with some ideas for their date in a few days.
[4:04 pm] Are you home?
(4:05 pm) At home and awaiting orders gorgeous (4:05 pm) Have I been a bad boy Mr. Harrington?
Eddie's phone rang and he picked it up as he crashed onto his bed. He knew Steve could hear it when he laughed on the other end.
"You need to keep a tighter lid on those urges. It was a lucky break that all the kids were focused on their dishes that they didn't see the face I made."
"Truly, my bad Stevie. But I can't help what you do to me."
Steve chuckled. "Not even a little?"
"Not one bit. Okay, maybe a little bit. The truth is, I could've said a lot more, but I was holding back."
"Really now? And what would you have said if you weren't holding back?"
Eddie could hear something that sounded like movement in a bed. Steve was getting comfortable too. He thought about the picture he had saved, of Steve's lower body in those shorts. He had been laying in bed then too. Eddie let his mind wander for a bit. What he'd do if Steve were really in bed beside him...
"Baby if you were here right now, I'd have my hands all over you. You'd think I was an octopus."
"Tell me where you'd touch me first", Steve said.
"Well I'm still thinkin' of those legs of yours. You like massages, Stevie? I could rub you down all day."
Steve imagined Eddie digging his fingers into his muscles. That would really hit the spot, especially after a workout. "Mmm, and then?"
"And then I'd wrap them around my head, like I said. I saw what you were packin' in those shorts, baby. I would love to get my mouth on you."
Eddie heard Steve let out a soft moan and he definitely heard a zipper and some shifting. God, the image of Steve stroking himself... Eddie unzipped his pants too, palming at himself while the other hand kept an ever tightening hold on the phone.
"Eddieee..."
"I wanna hear everything, baby. I'm working so hard sucking you off, I deserve to know how good I'm making you feel."
"So good, uh", Steve let out a small breath at the end.
"Yeah? I haven't even told you how I'd rock your world yet", Eddie grinned.
"I just know...You're so good with your mouth."
"You like the way I lick you up and down? How I kiss that beautiful tip?" Eddie knew he had a dick just as handsome as the rest of him, never mind that he had yet to see Steve's whole face yet. His hand pumped up and down as he envisioned the weight of Steve in his mouth. He thought about getting drunk on that taste.
Eddie groaned and his eyes fluttered close, his mouth moving faster than his brain. "Do you shave Steve?"
"....No...is that a problem?"
"Ohh it's the opposite of a problem babe. I bet you got a thick bush. I'd sink all the way down, bury my nose in it while you're fucking my throat."
Steve let out the most delicious sound as he came and Eddie wasn't too far behind. It was like he was there, hairs coarse and curly rough against his skin while Steve moaned right into his ear.
"Mmm", Steve hummed. "I know you look good now. My cum dripping off your lips."
"I'd swallow it all, sweetness. I wouldn't waste a single drop." He would take all that Steve gave him and then some. He was a greedy man.
"I know you wouldn't. I don't allow anything to go to waste in my classroom. Have you learned your lesson, Mr. Munson?"
"Maaaybeee. I might need another lesson, Mr. Harrington. Say, this Friday, at eight?", Eddie teased.
"I suppose you'll need more help studying. Don't be late, mister."
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For once, Steve didn't linger after work. He made sure the kids cleaned up every last dish before the last period even ended. He even let them go a minute and a half before the bell. When Steve left, he went the back way to avoid most of the other teachers and that pre-weekend conversation. He got home right away and started getting ready. Robin had her own date tonight which meant he had limited time to get her help and last minute input.
When she got home from work, the apartment was a flurry of activity between them.
"Steve, I need the blow dryer!"
"Wait! I'm almost done!"
They both crashed into each other's spaces as they tried using the one bathroom mirror.
"Why can't you use your stupid vanity mirror?", Robin asked.
"That mirror is just for my hair and it's too small."
Robin gave him a side eye. "Is that my eyeliner?"
"Is that my face cream?"
For some reason, Robin insisted on getting dressed in his room, which meant at some points their outfits got switched around and they had to re-dress. The pandemonium finally quieted when Robin left for her date and Steve was at last alone for his. It was at 8:00 sharp that Eddie sent a text.
(8:00 pm) Knock knock 😙
Steve smiled as he started a video call. His heart fluttered at the thought of finally seeing Eddie's full face. So imagine his surprise when he was instead met with a hand that had a face drawn on it. And what could only be Eddie doing a deeper, character voice.
"Hello my love. Are you ready for the romancing tonight? I hope I get lucky, ehehehehe."
To which Steve couldn't help but burst out in laughter. Any nerves he might've had flew away.
"Oh, I don't know. I'm a proper young man. I don't think I could court with someone who was so...handsy."
"I wouldn't lay a finger on you without your permission, lovely. But maybe a few smooches. Muahmuahmuah!" Eddie's hand attacked his phone's camera with kisses and Steve giggled like it was actually touching him.
As his laughing fit subsided, only then did Eddie reveal his face. He took Steve's breath away. He was literally speechless and just stood there staring, which made Eddie start to squirm a little.
"You tryina turn me to stone, Medusa?", Eddie joked.
"Sorry!", Steve apologized when he realized he had been staring. "You just...you look really nice Eddie."
"You don't look too bad yourself, handsome", Eddie smiled.
That was putting it lightly. For the both of them really. Steve felt like he was talking to the perfect man. Eddie felt like Steve had walked right out of his wet dreams.
"So, what did you order?", Steve asked as he sat down at his table. He made sure his phone was angled that it only showed him from the waist up. Robin had the bright idea that since he could control what Eddie saw, he could wear whatever he wanted under the line of sight.
He was currently wearing a blue and white striped polo shirt. And beneath that, some lacy, navy blue panties. Maybe Eddie would find out, maybe he wouldn't. Steve had his phone on the table, propped up against some books.
"I ordered the Munson special. A grilled cheese with potato soup."
"Oh, that's a Munson special, hm?"
"Damn straight. Tomato soup is still a classic, but I'd die for a potato. What'd you get?"
"I have some leftover pasta that I just added some mushrooms too. Nothing too fancy."
"Unless it's one of those truffles", Eddie pointed out.
Steve rolled his eyes as he twirled his fork. "Truffles? On a teacher's salary?"
"Hey, you could be secretly rich."
"Oh if I win the lottery, there will be signs."
"Like 5th graders using authentic truffles", Eddie nodded to himself.
They kept talking throughout their dinner and then took each other to their sinks to wash the dishes together. Eddie talked more about his friends. Some of which he worked with and the band he was in. Steve wasn't super into metal, but he liked it enough to be interested in whatever Eddie did.
When they had talked about their date night and discussed their options, they decided on dinner and a movie. Once the dishes were cleaned, Steve took Eddie over to the living room and he sat down between the coffee table and propped him against another set of books as they both queued up the movie on their ends.
"You know it's been a really long time since I've seen this movie", Steve said. "I think I was literally a kid."
"There was a time when this was literally my religion", Eddie said as Quest for Camelot started to play.
Steve knew Eddie was into Dungeons & Dragons, so him being in love with a fantasy movie made total sense.
"Did you have a crush on Garrett when you were a kid?", Steve asked, later during the movie.
"'Did'? I'd still let him use that staff on me six ways to Sunday!"
Steve laughed and he was coming to realize he laughed with Eddie much more than any of his dates in a long while.
"I'm gonna go grab a drink", Steve said as he got up. He nearly asked Eddie if he wanted something. It really was like he was right there with him. Steve grabbed a soda and then came back, sitting down in his spot again when he saw Eddie's expression.
He was silent, which was rare.
His eyes were bulging out of his head and his hand was over his mouth.
Steve was about to ask what was wrong when Eddie's eyes flicked down and then Steve got it. He had stood up. In full view of his phone. And then turned to go into the kitchen.
Eddie had gotten a first rate view of his panties.
Part 6
Tag Team (CLOSED)
@anne-bennett-cosplayer @estrellami-1 @newtstabber @omletlove @ifyoudonlysurrender @rehfan @morganski-19 @corvidcantina @dragonmama76 @just-ladyme @tinyplanet95 @goodolefashionedloverboi @idoquitelikebread @kittydeadbones @manda-panda-monium @rhapsodyinalto @paintsplatteredandimperfect @keylime-green @ihavekidneys @samsoble @honorarybrit81 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @aizawa-emma @deleataecount @thesuninyaface @fromapayphone @justmeinadaze @hbyrde36 @queenie-ofthe-void @resident-gay-bitch @bestwifehaver @dangdirtydemons @ellietheasexylibrarian @perseus-notjackson @pyrohonk @holysteddie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @mrsjellymunson @geekymagicalpotato @notaqueenakhaleesi
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only-lonely-www · 1 month
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So basically ATLA brain rot has hit me like a truck
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a-s-levynn · 3 months
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iv & iii
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ganonfan1995 · 1 year
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Burnt out
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kindledrose · 9 months
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goofy hermit doodles!! because uhh why not!!
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cemeterything · 2 months
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☝️ guy who needs to arrange to up his antidepressant dosage and/or request assessment for bipolar disorder next time he speaks to his gp
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