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trashlie · 1 year

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Manifesting Stalkyoo~

Just to get it out of the way: PLEASE KNOW THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN! I don’t want anyone to take this in a weird way or like it’s some ridiculous demand I’m making lmao. I’ve just been having a delightful time talking to other Stalkyoo shippers and just romanticizing silly things we want to see so again: THIS IS JUST FOR FUN! I know fandom has been weird about shipping stuff because of the... ugly past lol so I feel a weird need to remind people that my shipping is just secondary enjoyment of ILY and that I will continue to love and read ILY wherever it goes.

With that out of the way lol please also note there are spoilers all the way up to 224, so if you don’t FP episodes, this post is not safe for you! (unless you like spoilers. i don’t judge people, I like spoilers, too)

Look, I’m not good at writing fanfiction. I’d love to, but I always feel like it’s difficult for me to portray characters the way the original writer does. I think about it, every now and then, dabble in a little idea, something I might like to see, before the storyline plays out in a different way, but I just never trust myself, so this is about the closest I ever get to that. And even still, I think of these little musings, these silly little “oh I’d love to see ______” very inline with fanfiction, wherein I acknowledge that what I’m hoping for or imagining is very likely to not happen. It’s just the fun of exploring story and the what-if’s and little AU tangents where ONE little thing tweaks.

For me, the fun of shipping is just playing with those character dynamics, which is another reason fic is so difficult for me - I enjoy my pairings, my characters, within their circumstances. That’s not to say AU fics are unfathomable to me (I LOVE THEM), but more so that it’s hard to write something knowing that I don’t know everything, that quimchee will pull out a surprise and I’ll be like oh my god I should have realized! And again, I guess that’s where musing is fun. You get to play out those little what if’s for yourself, get to imagine a scenario that probably will never come to pass. That’s the fun of fic + canon, to me! Not once has quimchee done something with her characters and their story that really surprised me in an “oh i don’t like this” kind of way. I can say “Oh I’d love to see xyz scenario play out” but when instead abc plays out, I’m not mad.

I also fully admit that I tend to compartmentalize my shipping thoughts and whims separately from my general commentary, and I guess for the previously mentioned reasons: this fandom has an ugly, nasty past with shipping and even still, there are a lot of people who demand romance from ILY and don’t seem to care about the actual story at play or even weirder, seem to think that it detracts from the romance they think should be happening???? (”when is she going to choose one of the brothers it’s been so many years and episodes waaaah) And I guess, yeah, I get a little self-conscious, because (and this is feels so embarrassing to actually word) I acknowledge a lot of people read my commentary and my opinions! And I’m so happy for that, I love being so communal with everyone! But I do get worried someone is going to take something out of context and be like “omg can you believe she’s one of those weirdo romance demanders” or something lmao, hence this weird long useless diatribe. But yeah, basically, I’ve been talking with people lately and god just thinking about my shippy feels and how much I love the current story - one step forward, three steps back; the struggles to open up; the struggles to deal with feelings in the face of much heavier, scarier elements; etc. etc.

Sometimes you just wake up and you’re like: I WANNA SCREAM ABOUT STALKYOO so you do it because you have a birdbrain and you know is screaming afljkfkjafkjakfjaf LMAO

If you’re reading this, chances are you aren’t new to my blog so you’ve probably read the likes of my Foundations of Stalkyoo, Why I Ship Stalkyoo, and Further Thoughts on Stalkyoo (I just never shut up huh) posts, so I’ll try not to like, completely repeat everything but if it happens well. It can’t helped, can it? lol

Anyway something I’ve been talking and thus thinking a lot about is where we stand with Stalkyoo, now that we are getting more confirmation of actual budding feelings. I always reiterate that anything can change, but I also like to remind myself that something quimchee has said in the past (and this is loosely paraphrased) is that whenever it does come to a pairing, it will be made obvious before it gets there, because this is NOT a primarily romance-focused story which means there aren’t as many storylines that deal with just the will-they/won’t-they and the likes, and I think likewise, there won’t be a real love triangle the way most fans tend to think of them. So often a love triangle gets boiled down to someone being torn between two people for whatever reason and i just don’t get the sense we’ll be seeing that? Thus, I do feel like we might well be moving into a territory where we will see some kinds of scenes setting up, or maybe better put, enabling the possibility of a relationship between Shinae and Nol?

But first. I always say I don’t really try to predict things because I’m always proven wrong, but I still like to try for fun lol, just because that’s part of the joy of reading an on-going story, I think! I’ve waffled a lot on it, but I still feel like when we reach our big time skip (not the first one taking us to graduation, but rather the one that jumps us a few years ahead), there has to be a REASON. Narratively it’s hard to imagine what that reason might be beyond the likelihood that we’ll see our three main characters on separate paths. It’s the only thing that makes sense, because otherwise you end up with a lot of story happening off page, right? If Shinae were to go to Japan with Kousuke, we’d end up missing their reconciliation and Kousuke earning her trust (or if it were to go the opposite, becoming cold acquaintances). Thus, I think Kousuke will go to Japan, but Shinae will take Rand’s advice begrudgingly and take up Yui on her “offer, while Nol will probably go to college abroad. He wasn’t denied admission to Oxford - it’s just not guaranteed there will be a spot for him.

I know people take umbrage with the idea of Shinae taking up Yui’s offer, but hear me out. I don’t think it’s meant to turn Shinae into some kind of conniving, cunning person in the likes of Yui, as much as just introduce her to this world, give her a better understanding of how people in this society and business work and thus, start to get an idea of how Yui works. While I don’t think it’s easy to ever be one step ahead of Yui, I do think developing an understanding of her world helps to at least defend herself from Yui - start to see traps in advance and how to avoid them, find ways to evade her clutches, that kind of thing. I do think the idea of Yui holding that over Shinae’s head is terrifying and it’s feels more dangerous than going to Japan with Kousuke, BUT again, the idea is that she would become better equipped to defend herself and fight back.

Of course, I don’t think Shinae in this moment is prepared to make that choice, and it may be a choice that comes after Yujing’s big scoop is revealed. Perhaps realizing how much more dangerous and powerful Yui (and the Kims) is would make her see what Rand was trying to tell her. I think she hasn’t fully figured out just what is going on with Yui and Rand, either - why would he be pushing her against his wife? But I think the information Yujing has compiled could help her see that bigger picture. If someone like Rand has spent twenty-five years struggling in this battle with her, how could Shinae ever hope to stand against her with even less understanding, with no sense of WHO Yui is or what makes her tick.

The thing about this that I always struggle with is: how would Nol regard that? We know he feels vehemently about Alyssa idolizing Yui and taking advantage of her connection to the Hiraharas - and yet he stayed with her, knowing that she benefits from him (but that he does, as well). Would he feel the same, if he found out who was enabling Shinae to go to school? Would they talk about it, since Shinae knows how he feels about it? Would he be able to understand, when even he himself doesn’t seem to realize that his father finds himself trapped by the Hiraharas? That’s... stuff I can’t try to predict, because I think everything is possible.

I promise I’ll get to that a little more.

The narrative benefit of separating the main characters is, of course, that first off, no major development happens where we can’t watch it. Sure, they’ll go about their lives and things will happen, but I don’t expect it to be major things that would make us go WAIT WHAT?! Otherwise, what brings us back itnto the story after time passes? For a long time my idea was that they’d all go their separate ways and maybe even their relationships would be a little damaged, so that when they come back into each others’ lives, part of the story is recovering that, reconciling with the past and maybe finding new futures together.

Especially regarding Nol and Shinae, I’d wondered if we would see him leave without reconciling with his friends, and that we’d see him and Shinae meet again after some years and Shinae would have to contend with their unresolved past, with feelings she never had a chance to really identify, let alone explore, and the aching beauty of having to figure out who each other after now that they’ve grown and changed, and if there is room in each others’ lives for one another, if they fit in with who they’ve become. And don’t get me wrong - i do like that kind of bittersweet ache, haunted by the ghosts of what never came to be, having to relearn each other. But the more I’ve talked about this (especially a lot with @bittrbuttr, the more I realized that’s not exactly what I want with them.

Like, it’s good and achey, it really pulls at your heartstrings. But I think that better suits an actual romance story, where the focus of the story and plot is on those feelings and untangling them, on finding their ways back to each other. I don’t think that’s the story of ILY, though.

I keep dancing around my point and I apologize, but we all know I’m nothing if not circuitous and I promise we’ll get there!

Here’s the thing: we know that Nol and Shinae are not in the space to become romantically involved. The feelings are there. They are drawn to each other, we know Nol finds comfort and peace in Shinae and that he always struggles to really push her away. We know that Shinae cares so deeply about him that no matter how much he hurts her, she still wants to try, she still wants to be there for him. I find the hope-tinged pain of 223 really poignant in that way - she wanted to SEE HIM, in a moment that was so special, she wanted to share that joy and get a glimpse at who he REALLY is, and he was unable to do that for her. But still she hopes for the best, still she intends to keep trying, to be as persistent as he was, even if she has to find a different approach.

They are so important to each other, and I’m hoping that might be a catalyst?

I understand what Nol’s struggle is. It isn’t easy to be vulnerable, to feel weak, especially when those parts of him have been used against him the last 6 years of his life. He is full of so much self-loathing and isn’t comfortable with his own weakness and vulnerability, thus he can’t show it to Shinae, he doesn’t want her to see him like that. He’d rather let her think he just doesn’t need to see what exists between them, that he doesn’t need to see her indulging because it’s enough to just bring her joy - and that itself hurts enough! But I want him to at least be honest about it - tell her that you don’t want her to see that part of you. Will it change things? Probably not significantly, but it puts her one step closer to understanding doesn’t it?

And so the thinking is - or rather, the hope - is that maybe Nol will realize this?

We see some of it in 224. Upon Dieter’s arrival, instead of a hey welcome back or anything, it’s an immediate “Did you bump into Yoo?” and when Dieter reassures him that she’s fine, it’s just stuffy, he knows a. it’s not fine and b. he feels bad. I think he felt that regret immediately, when he noted that she’s angry and he took off the blindfold and she wasn’t there. Nol is so used to pushing people away, it’s his first line of defense, but when it works? When he succeeds at driving that wedge? Again it’s that battle of will vs want - he thinks that pushing her away is the right thing to do for her sake, but he doesn’t ACTUALLY want it.

It’s so difficult to go back to how things used to be having gotten a taste of something better. It’s so difficult to push out everyone when you’ve allowed yourself to indulge in being loved and cared about, and and I think that’s what Nol’s biggest hurdle is.

Don’t get me wrong; there’s a lot of hurdles with him lol and clearing one doesn’t exactly make the others any easier to clear. But something we’ve seen from Shinae and that I think the story has tried to impress upon is that things are easier when we aren’t alone. Burdens shared are burdens that weigh a little less. We’ve Shinae and her father talking about being a team - about sharing that burden so it’s not so hard for just one of them and distributing that burden more easily. We’ve seen it in Shinae opening up about her problems with her friends, her insecurities that made her doubt her friendships. Her realization that as scary as situation as her sister breaking into her home was, it was made more bearable with a ragtag group of goofs who will protect her.

Nol needs to learn to share that burden. He’s spent so long treating himself like an island, he hasn’t had the opportunity to remember that it’s easier to endure something when you aren’t exhausted from shouldering that burden all by yourself. There is strength in numbers. He’s been so run ragged from just trying to endure, trying to get by, trying to survive and how is he to ever fight back against Yui when he’s exhausted just from treading waters?

I mean, ultimately Nol needs to learn to love himself, but I think it’s easier to tackle allowing others to love him, first. Allowing himself to share the burden, to show those weaknesses and let people have his back. Be able to slump over and know that someone will help keep you standing, you know? And maybe through that, he can find it in him to start loving himself. Of course, he has other problems he needs to address; in order to love himself, he has to forgive himself, and I hope that Yujing’s article can help in that area. I’m sure he carries the guilt of his mother’s alleged suicide, and maybe he was even made to believe that. It wouldn’t surprise me if the time he spent in the mental facility only served to make him feel worse about his existence, made him believe he was the root cause of the bad. Maybe even, like Nana, he had an argument with his mother before he death and felt that if they hadn’t argued, maybe she would never have made that choice?

Clearly that’s still a little complicated for us to fully dig into, but as horrible as learning that maybe her death was not a choice she made is to learn (I cannot imagine having made this peace with someone I loved reaching a point so dark they made that choice, only to find out that it was, possibly, murder. How do you deal with that? What do you do with all that new grief, that new anguish?), I think maybe, if he learned that she didn’t choose that, it might help free him from his shackles of guilt.

But I think until he can learn to forgive himself, until he can make that peace, couldn’t letting people love him help? Wouldn’t it be better for him to move forward knowing that he has people who will not only defend him, but who can ease the weight of his burdens?

As dramatic as Nol and Shinae separating on these rocky grounds, unable to fully reconcile, makes for a good, dramatic romance, I think it’s much better for Nol to move on as a team. To let himself rely on others isn’t something he can learn over night, of course, but isn’t it better for him to enter a scary phase of his life knowing that there ARE people who he can talk to about it? There ARE people he can eventually let see those weak parts of him?

So my ultimate hope for Nol’s extension is that in that time, he and Shinae find that peace after all. I still can’t help but feel like the three-day-extension is significant, because why else include it, if it was to pass without event? Especially because, depending on how it works (is it 3 additional days INCLUDING the 22nd or 3 days extra, beginning the 23rd?) we’ll hit the holidays. That just feels... too significant, right?

I want Nol to grapple with his feelings, let his fear take over a little. Is he really as ready to lose Shinae as he tries to be? He seemed to regret hurting her, hanging his head after Dieter reassured him she was fine, even though she refuses to come back in to the room. And I can’t help but feel like it’s significant that she’s still lingering in the waiting room. My thinking is that Nana will get involved - she knows that Nol is upset about someone, she knows other friends have been watching over him, she knows there’s a friend who isn’t coming back in. She can read him well, so it’s not like it’s difficult to read that maybe they had a fight, that he was brusque and brushed her off the way he tries to do even to Nana. Will she go out there to see who this friend is? Will they talk? I feel like they HAVE to - not just because the fandom has waited for it, but because I think Nana can probably glean that Shinae (”Yoo” lol) must be someone important, if he’s acting like that.

And look. Did Nana see the blush? *I* saw the blush, I’m not getting over that. I’m sorry but he lmao pushed her away, regretted hurting her, and he’s still getting flustered because he pictured her mouth. BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYY. YOU’RE A MESS.

I don’t expect her to fully intervene in like, trying to make things happen way lmao I think it’s more like... Nana knows better than anyone that Nol is a difficult person to love. I say this with affection, because it’s true. He pushes people away, he deflects from himself, he never opens up, it’s hard to read what’s going on in his head. And Nana also knows of the darkness that looms. She was right there when he pleaded guilty, concerned about his reasoning. She’s listened to him talk about how maybe everything would be better if he didn’t exist. She knows that the darkness has a strong grip on him. So who better than her to encourage Shinae, to thank her for her patience and tenacity, for sticking with Nol even with the way he acts? I’d like to see a little bit of that comfort between them, some reassurance that Shinae is, in fact, making the right choice. She oscillates so wildly between her extreme emotions; sadness and melancholy that caring is not enough and how it sometimes comes out as anger when she can’t find a better way to channel it. We know she doesn’t really regret planning that birthday celebration - she’s just hurt. And I think it would be a big help to have Nana tell her how much it means to see Nol with friends who care about him despite how prickly and difficult he is, how she worries about him and is glad there are people who care about him. I think it would really encourage Shinae that her resolve is right - that she just has to find another way to approach him, that it’s worth the effort.

And at that same time, yes, I want Nol’s fear to kick his ass. I want him to realize he faces the very real reality of losing someone who cares so much about him, who is willing to put up with him because of how much she cares and how special she is to him - and that she wants him to see it, too. I want him to fear losing the comfort and peace she brings him. I want him to have to finally face head on his want vs what he thinks he deserves, and see what a future without someone like her is like. Can he bear to return to that kind of loneliness? Can he bear losing her concern? How it feels for her to take notice of him, to probe, to listen?

Like, at the risk of getting really corny and dramatic, that’s what it comes down to. I don’t want Nol to come back in a few years and decide he’s ready to face all of that. I want him to move on from this point knowing he’s not alone. I want him to be able to face prison knowing that he’s not so alone, that there is someone who will always be there to support him. I think that’s what makes the most sense. Leaving on their current circumstances works great if it’s a romance and that’s the main story - but making up, talking, being honest? That makes more sense for THIS story, where Nol starts to grow NOW, where he starts to make those important steps that will help him find his way to healing, and more important, that will help him face the forces that taunt and haunt him.

He doesn’t have to be completely honest with Shinae, because I don’t think he’s ready. I don’t think he’ll tell her that his mother took her life, and that he believes it’s his fault. But I think it would be enough to tell her the truth he couldn’t stay to her face - that he doesn’t want her to see him like that, that it’s still hard for him to open up that way, that it’s still SCARY - but that he doesn’t want to push her away, that he’s sorry he keeps hurting her. We could even go more dramatic with a callback to the hospital scene - that he’s sorry he isn’t good enough and is undeserving of her (AND LET HER REASSURE HIM THAT’S NOT TRUE THAT HE IS). BUT JUST. IDK I WANT HIM TO FACE IT. ADMIT IT.

He doesn’t have to tell her he likes her. That’s fine. Just reiterate what she means to him! One moment he’s telling her she’s special to him, that he cares about her, next moment he’s telling her it’s okay he doesn’t have to look he’s fine like this. STOP JERKING HER AROUND ;~; lmao like don’t get me wrong. I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

But I also want to see them move into our time skips with a sense of understanding and peace, you know? I don’t want want Nol to face his fears alone anymore. I want him to let someone stand by his side. I want him to accept how good it feels to rest on her shoulder and know that it’s okay, she’s there.

I HAVE FEELINGS OKAY I JUST. I WANT THEM TO BE ABLE TO FIND T HAT STRENGTH IN EACH OTHER, TO BE STRONGER TOGETHER.

And to call back to my earlier point lmao I like to think if they get to that point, then maybe he would understand, if Shinae accepts Yui’s offer. Maybe he would see how it’s different from Alyssa, that Shinae made a choice to protect herself, that it’s not about the idolatry, it’s not a self-serving choice, but one that protects her and enables her to fight back. Knowing that they are on the same side, that Shinae isn’t a doe-eyed naïve girl about to be taken advantage of again, but one who wants to fight back against the people who hurt her and others like her.

We’re about halfway to 3/5 of the way into this story, and I think that’s a good point for Shinae and Nol to join forces.

AndlookthisiscompletelydaydreamingbutiftherewasaChristmaskissIwouldcertainlynotobject

PLEASE I JUUUUUUUUUST i want to see them on the same page, I want to see them moving forward TOGETHER. I don’t want Nol to keep walking on his own. I don’t want him to just accept Shinae at his side, either; I want him to CHOOSE to let her choose his side. ;A;

GOD. PLS. BARKS AT THE MOON I’m just ready for them to bE A TEAM I’M READY FOR NOL TO BE SELFISH AND TO GO AFTER WHAT HE WANTS I WANT HIM TO CHOOSE COMFORT AND SECURITY OVER PUNISHMENT I WANT HIM TO REALIZE THERE IS STRENGTH IN COMPANIONSHIP. I know being close to him puts her at risk - but he needs to see that no matter what, she’s at risk, and isn’t it better if she’s in danger with someone who can help, than to be all alone with it? I WANT HIM TO FACE THAT FEAR OF HIS AND FIND THAT MAYBE HIS DESIRE, HIS WANT, HIS NEEDS ARE EVEN BIGGER. That it’s better to find peace with her than spend the whole time afraid. Isn’t that the thing? He’s always afraid - afraid of someone else getting hurt, afraid of another opportunity being stolen away, afraid of the next time Yui will find a way to hurt him. BUT TO BE ABLE TO FIND COMFORT WITH SHINAE?

Please. Just open up - be honest!!!!!!! But most importantly APOLOGIZE. Apologize for hurting her, apologize for pushing her away.

I realize, based on what she said on the hospital roof, that maybe he won’t make that choice, that maybe her persistence has to be a long game, that she does have to wait for him to forget to put the mask back on.

But wouldn’t it be so nice if he chose to move forward with her, instead of alone, to face their nightmare and battles together? ;~;

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shinae Yoo #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #LMFAO THIS IS SO LONG-WINDED but i think no one is surprised anymore?#I just!!!!!!!!!#i have this very specific want in mind and if it doesn't happen that's okay because i'm sure it will lead to a better story lmao #BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT LIKE. WANT THIS PARTICULAR THING TO PLAY OUT for the sake of the story #for the sake of the second season #for the sake of what it means to fight against those who harm others just for joy #i'm such a firm believer of shinae and nol being a team and i want to see them be a team together FOR REAL #i want to see nol find it in himself to lean on shinae and find how much stronger he can be if he doesn't have to shoulder a burden alone #it's so much easier to share the weight together when you aren't the only one to carry it right?#and when you aren't run ragged just from sturviving #when you have the time to rest and recharge knowing you are safe #aren't you able to become even stronger?#to face even more?#I JUST WANT THEM TO BE A TEAM ;A;

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presidenthades · 9 months

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I am doing very minor revisions of Daemon’s Handbook (mostly formatting and continuity errors), and I wanted to do some behind-the-scenes commentary before too much time passes and I forget my original thoughts. Here’s Chapter 1!

DO NOT read these commentaries until you have finished reading the entire Handbook! There are many spoilers in each commentary for future chapters

(Note that these commentaries aren’t canon to the verse until/unless the author writes them into the series. I might change my mind on a few points later, but these are the thoughts I had while writing.)

Chapter titles are named for Daemon’s very bad parenting advice if he were writing an actual handbook.

The rumors that Rhaenyra’s kids are bastards started from a combination of a) black hair and b) Harwin still being unusually close/romancing Rhaenyra even if he isn’t the bio father. But when Jace grew old enough to look like a mini Rhaenys, most reasonable people gave it up.

JOFFRIDA. I was considering the name Jocelyn at first, but I wanted to lean into Laenor naming his third kid after Joffrey Lonmouth. There’s no obvious feminine version of Joffrey, though. Then I decided Laenor seems like the type to tack on a feminine suffix and call it a day. 😂

Daemon is convinced Aemond is a prude. We know how that turns out in Chapter 9.

Aegon starts out a bit afraid of Rhaenyra. He shows more backbone later (especially Chapter 9) but I like to think he’s always going to be a bit afraid of her.

“Oh well, not Daemon’s problem.” (Re: Hightower boys and how they grow up) 😂😂😂

Joff’s curse tablets are inspired by the ancient Roman curse scrolls wherein people wrote things like “Livia has done me great wrong. O gods of the Underworld, make her go bald and die a painful death. If you do this, I’ll sacrifice five goats to you.” Why doesn’t she use a curse tablet again in the story? I’ll flesh it out elsewhere in the series, but TLDR magic has a price and Joff learns this very early in her life.

Vaemond’s funeral eulogy in this verse doesn’t go so hard on “our blood runs true” (he knows the girls are legitimate) but maybe he makes some quips about women and motherhood and sacrifice. Nothing overtly terrible but he’s thinking about the future of Driftmark, which is currently slated to pass to a girl after Laenor, when he thinks it would be best for Driftmark to stay within the male line. So he uses the eulogy to subtly push his agenda. I’m not going to go into more detail here because I might write out his actual eulogy one day, but that’s the gist.

Daemon shies away from comforting his daughters in this chapter. He eventually grows out of this in Chapter 7 (with Baela) and Chapter 11 (late night discussion with Rhaenyra).

Driftmark Lite! I decided not to have Aemond lose his eye at Luce’s hand for several reasons. First, I thought it would be tonally inappropriate; this fic strongly leans toward comedy, and the canon fight would have been too heavy. Second, a lot of this fic is me exploring what would be different if Rhaenyra’s kids were girls, and I thought this would definitely change.

In the GOT/HOTD universe, highborn girls are way less likely than boys to carry blades. Girls like Baela and Arya are rare exceptions. Girls like Sansa are much more the norm. If we’re going by traditional gender norms, girls are probably encouraged to talk their problems out rather than fight it out, as boys might.

So the fight doesn’t escalate as badly because Jace is trying to be peacemaker, and instead of bastard insults, Aemond uses the playground taunt of “you’re a bunch of wussy girls wah wah” (which only provokes Baela).

But the fight DOES escalate to a degree when Aemond specifically insults Luce about things she’s very sensitive about, i.e. her reading struggles and little phobias like rats. Luce retaliates by kneeing him in the groin, which is a move a girl is far more likely to use than a boy on another boy.

Later, Alicent freaks out a bit because she’s in “overprotective mother” mode but once she takes a breather, she realizes it isn’t that huge a deal and lets it go (but this is yet another reason she doesn’t really like Luce).

Daemon 100% got hit in the groin before, and no one can convince me otherwise. Who did it? Dunno. Are they still alive? Probably not.

Laenor’s mysterious death!!! Was it Joff? Did she use her curse tablet? Did she do it because she hates her name? We’ll have to find out when I eventually write her POV.

#my writing #meta #hotd fic #HOTD fanfic #house of the dragon fic #house of the dragon fanfic #daemon’s handbook

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ficklecat · 9 months

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Hi! I really love all your Gai x Kakashi stories, they are very beautiful and you always develop their dynamic very well. 🩷💜

I also wanted to know, what do you think about a fic where Kakashi is totally in love with Gai, but he thinks Gai is very straight, so he thinks he won't reciprocate his feelings, however he later discovers that Gai is not as straight as he thought?

Oh thank you so much anon! Glad to hear you enjoy my fics :3

I've considered a one shot idea very similar to that honestly, but I've yet to write it! However...you've inspired a lil drabble so here ya go ;)

Summer is hard on a man who wears a mask, but that's not why his face is so hot.

The sun is beating down and he's shielding his eyes and he's watching Gai from the bank of the river and he swears, he swears he must be drooling too because there's no way it's that wet beneath his mask and Gai is just. so. hot.

Gai floats on his back in the sun and he’s positively shimmering, glistening like the water’s surface. He’s smiling and Kakashi feels his heart tug him to the water but he waits. He watches a little longer. Always, just out of reach.

“Rival!” Gai calls. “The water is perfect! Come cool off with me!”

But how, when Kakashi’s body feels on fire every time he looks at him? Gai, who never seems to have a clue at how he feels, who’s so very likely to be nothing more to him than his best friend - which is fine, that’s fine, that’s more than fine - but even still. Just one kiss would be enough. One caress. One breath and he’d be able to—

“Kakashi come swim with me!” Gai calls insistently. “You are positively melting over there I just know it!”

“Maa, I’m coming, relax,” Kakashi calls back. He looks around, satisfied the privacy of the spot they picked, and strips down to his underwear. He saves his mask for last, debates on whether he should keep it on to hide his blush, but carefully slides it off. A risk, but he’ll take it. It’s too hot anyway.

He wades into the water and sighs as it cools him, relief fresh and exhilarating as he makes his way to Gai, who is now back stroking down the bend. He comes up just close enough that he’s within reach of him but stops and watches instead, once again. He splashes him a little and Gai roars with laughter when he notices.

“See? Isn’t it lovely?” Gai asks genuinely and god he is just beaming, he’s gorgeous, he’s so very oblivious, he’s everything Kakashi wants, and Kakashi is just seconds from kissing him.

“Rival?”

“Ah. Yeah. Sorry. Just…it’s a little cold.”

“All the more refreshing!” Gai declares and splashes him playfully. Kakashi smirks and they boyishly chase each other around, pushing water towards each other, grazing bare arms and legs. Kakashi knows this is as close as he can get. That’s ok. He can laugh like this and smile and have fun and he can want to kiss him so badly and refrain, and it can be enough. No one makes him feel like this, no one will. He wonders if Gai feels the same in some way, even if it’s not quite what he’s feeling himself. Maybe he’ll ask one day. But not today. It’s too hot today. He’d melt today. He’d combust.

When they’ve had their fill of the river they emerge on the bank, breathless and dripping and giddy. They lay in the grass, drying in the sun, and Kakashi watches Gai as Gai sprawls out, preening, eyes closed.

“This is nice,” Gai says. Kakashi hums and closes his eyes himself now, unable to stare further without wavering in his resolve.

“It is good to be here with you rival,” Gai says. Kakashi smiles, warmed by more than the sun now. Rival is enough, he tells himself.

“It’s good to be here with you too,” he confesses. It’s quiet another moment before Kakashi cracks open an eye to see Gai hovering over him, a droplet falling just in time onto his cheek.

“Gai?”

“Yes!”

“What are you doing?”

“Well, I was thinking, I’d very much like to kiss you, if that’s alright!”

Kakashi blinks.

“What.”

Gai doesn’t waver.

“I said I’d very much like to—“

“I heard what you said.”

Gai grins.

“It’s fine if you do not feel the same!” he says. “But today is a day for seizing the moment! And I think we are both truly experiencing our youthfulness to the fullest! So I wanted to ask you!”

Kakashi is dumbstruck and feels like he’s staring directly at the sun, even with Gai blocking it. It looks like a halo around his wet black hair.

“But you’re…are you…?”

“Would you like me to kiss you, Kakashi?” he says it softer this time, gentler, more earnest. And Kakashi is burning again. He burns and burns and when Gai finally leans in and his lips touch his, when the touch becomes a kiss, when the kiss has hands and tongue and teeth, Kakashi is aflame.

In the summer sun, with Gai’s lips on his, Kakashi blazes. No cooling to be had for the flame, he lets it ignite within him, and swallow him whole.

#axel replies #anon ask #kakagai #fic drabble

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katmaatui · 8 months

Note

omg hal for this ask game AND the other ask game!!!

You didn't give me a number so I may have done all of the second one? So read more. Tw for suicide attempt mention under the first ask game, favorite moment (its not hal)

First Ask Game

First impression

I actually have a screenshot of me, last january, going I think Hal would be cool but I've never read anything with him in it. Uhhh I did use to think he's scared of the bats which eww.

Impression now

How can I put him down to a single sentence? A single paragraph? He's literally everything to me. He's so complex. He's insecure, he's suicidal as hell. He's flawed, he hates himself and he makes that other people's problem, he takes so much onto himself, he wants to be the shinning knight of the stories, he's inspired by old tales of knights and fair damsels and good and bad and black and white. He thinks himself as right and those who disagree with him as wrong and i just love him.

Favorite moment

It's like telling me to pick a favorite child. You're talking to someone who has a 200 issue long hal rec list, but I want to do a more neglected moment beyond the popular issues like emerald twilight and gl 0.

I would have to say Spectre #23, I love the dynamic between Sinestro and Hal there and the way it harkens back to older comics and how it can make later comics make so much sense???? Hal always reaching out to Sinestro, despite Sinestro not wanting his help. It's such a good way of showing Hal's character of reaching out to those he once trusted even once they betrayed his trust!

Another favorite of mine is action comics #615? I want to say. It's after the Hal gains his ability to feel fear back arc, but only directly. He's barely able to fly he's so unused to feeling fear, but he has to. He has to because there's someone on a ledge about to jump, and he's able to work through his fear just because he wants to help someone else, and that's who Hal Jordan is to me. Someone who deeply, deeply wants to help others, even at the expense of himself.

Idea for a story

Hmmm, I want to do one I haven't talked about here so none of my fifteen million different Parallax wips.

I haven't really thought it out much beyond oooh wouldn't it be fucked up if this the guardians did this, but we know from silver age comics that the guardians can see the future, and we know from all comics that the guardians are controlling bastards, so what if in an attempt to be even more controlling than usual, the guardians kinda um kidnapped younger gls, once whatever that happened to put them on their track had happened.

The original idea focuses mostly on Hal and John years and years afterwards, trying to rebuild the lives taken from them. They don't really remember their names from before, they're trying to find their family, trying to find out who they would be if they weren't green lanterns, if the guardians hadn't taken them, and the scene floating in my mind is Hal, Jack, and Jim reuniting. Hal's been missing since he was 10 years old, and none of them know how to react.

Also I want a fic where Hal and Jess compare their experiences with possession but I don't want to write it myself so I'm stuck there.

Unpopular opinion

oh god so I'm like blocked by like half of Hal blogs for some reason???? I honestly don't really know why, it's like half of them are my mutuals and half have me blocked :(.

okay my biggest one in the circles I'm in is that I feel like the parallax recon could be done well. Geoff was a little coward with it, but if tweaked slightly, relying on the amount of inconsistencies even within issues that Geoff wrote, let alone the amount of different writers tackling it, it could be fixed. (Like both Hal and the space bug say they don't know what stuff Hal did versus the space bug, and Hal says he murdered the green lantern corps before becoming parallax multiple times).

Also I have fun with Hal and pals. It's not the best comic (especially at the beginning with Soranik) but the last 20 or so issues are enjoyable and I've read everything 30 on multiple times.

Favorite relationship

See the favorite child comment above. Okay, so my top three romantic relationships are Hal and Carol, Hal and Sinestro, and Hal and Ollie. I discussed Halcarol in the carol post so I'll focus on the other two. Hal and Sinestro...Hal and Sinestro like actually make me fucking insane. Its the homoeroticism of killing someone while calling them your best friend, your best enemy. It's about being so similar that you hate and love someone at the same time, its about wanting them by your side, no matter the cost, but it can never truly work, they'll never truly be on the same side again. But, but, but, the tragedy of all this is that they'll always be friends, that they're the same underneath the skin (cries).

Hal and Ollie are opposites who want the same thing, in comparison to hal and sinestro who are very similar but want different things. Halollie to me is about nostalgia and rose tinted glasses and a past you can't go back to, a truck you pulled out of the river but its never the same, they're not the same. Plus they also have the whole murdering each other and resurrection thing going on and I have well demonstrated my love for a good murdering each other story.

Platonically? oh god. I love Hal and Kilowog and then i love Hal and John. Hal and Kilowog are so...like they also have the murdering thing going on. Like issue 40 of gl 2011???? Its complete insanity. The devotion the two of them have towards the green lantern corps??? also the scene in gls where Hal goes I would have done the same for Kilowog to Simon who had let jess go free??? I love the little mentions like that.

Hal and John are so interesting because Hal is an absolute shit friend and sector partner to John and John says that explicitly in story and still forgives Hal anyways, still says he loves him, still says they're best friends. Like my brain is mostly spitting out !!!!!!! for them but its a very excited !!!!!.

Favorite headcanon

Undiagnosed adhd Hal for the win! Like he suffers for it too, his relationship with his dad shows a lot of his dad doesn't understand him and doesn't want to. He can't focus, he can't stay still, he can't keep his feet on the ground and his head out of the clouds. It's just very much something I project on him based on canon evidence.

Second ask game. You didn't send me a number so I did all of them.

a fun headcanon

Okay I actually did this last because I have a lot of sad headcanons? But um, I really like the idea of Hal and John having a lot of inside jokes. They will reference random things during jl meetings and sometimes they're true sometimes they're not. The justice league sure doesn't know.

a sad headcanon

His father's jacket was destroyed in Coast City along with all of his stuff. The one he has now is one made out of his memories, which is why its different than before post emerald twilight.

Also I have a headcanon where he gets invited to do a speech at the 10 year anniversary of Coast City's destruction. He cries during it.

a headcanon that canon doesn't disprove

He's using his ring to cover up his gray streaks. They never really went away, Parallax wouldn't let him go that freely, but he covers them up because he's too scared to see everyone else's reaction.

a headcanon to spite canon, specifically

I don't do a lot of headcanons to spite canon? Like I genuinely think that canon is fun and something we should work with. The closest I got is my joke that current gl hal is the ring suppressing his emotions again because that ain't my hal.

a headcanon that's all but canon, and that's a hill I will die on

See the undiagnosed adhd headcanon above. Also the fact that he has some sort of genderfuckery going on, I saw your she/he pronouns spectre hal, I know what you are <3.

a headcanon about their family

I have so many. oh god one of the biggest I would say would be that Jack and Hal were specifically pitted against each other. We see this sometimes, with in a few flashbacks Martin saying why aren't you more like Jack, but I would like to see more of it. Hal hates Jack because he was the perfect one and then he went to college and Hal and Jim were left behind in the suffocating house.

In my head, Jim was very young when Martin died and does not remember him, and Jack was almost in college already and he left, leaving Hal to really baby Jim. He saw Jim as his responsibility, his little brother to protect, which is why he still calls him his kid brother, even when Jim has two kids of his own.

Also Jim really looks up to Hal which is basically canon. I mean he counts down the hours in between Hal leaving and returning and his security password is Hal's birthday.

a pre-canon headcanon

He and Jim used to go to baseball games together, sneaking into the coast city angels baseball field. He always thinks of Jim when making his baseball construct.

a post-canon headcanon

hmmmm. My biggest one is that due to the amount of ridiculous bullshit that he dies and comes back from, he's functionally immortal. He physically can't die. He's stuck here forever, even after all those he loves are dead. He becomes a legend, the man without fear, the man he never wanted to be. He wanders out in space, only coming back when he's needed, which these days are few and far in between. Eventually the legends morph to him never having existed, a story made up and embellished over all the years. He just wants to sleep.

a missing scene that definitely happened

Okay so something had to happen in between Spectre and gl rebirth that made hal go from going I don't deserve to be human to I have to have my life back and geoff does not show it. I usually have something happen with Helen that makes Hal have to erase both of their memories, which is why she isn't there in gl rebirth, and pushes Parallax, the entity into being.

I recognize canon has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it (+ what should have happened)

The fucking Hal is younger than Roy post resurrection thing. Literal hatred in my heart, that man is in his 50s and everytime dc makes him younger he gains a year.

something [other character] believes about them that isn't true

This is basically canon but specifically Guy and Ollie most believe that he wasn't in control during Parallax. Hal himself "tries to forget" who was in control and that interests me so much.

something they believe about [other character] that isn't true

He genuinely believes that the other founding jlers, especially Superman doesn't think much of him. He projects his own insecurities onto them, while they do think he's capable, they don't think he's going to go evil again.

their happiest memory

This is basically canon, but to me the memory he's most nostalgic for is being on the road with Ollie, just the two of them. That's what he thinks of when he thinks of home, and it'll never return again.

their worst memory

People like to say its his father's death, but he barely remembers that these days. It's not even coming back from space and learning what happened to Coast. No, it's his older brother looking at him and snarling that what happened was his fault, that he murdered their mother by the crime of existing.

a secret

oh uh. Well, I do really love some variation that Parallax happened later then people think and that Hal had some hand in parallax being unleashed, so something about that.

favorite canon relationship

Answered above.

favorite fanon relationship

He doesn't really have any fanon relationships? Like besides bruce but I can't stand fanon's version of that. Ummmm, fanon makes his and barry's relationship a little less boring but that's not hard to do because a sock is more interesting than them.

Oh wait! Okay my fanon version of Hal and Arisia (not romantic). I basically jumble up all the different versions and recons and plus put in some of my own extraplations to make a good friendship there. Arisia looks up to Hal and holds him to high standards but she doesn't hero worship. She's still holding a grudge for the beating up Kilowog plot.

favorite should have been canon relationship

Seeing this as romantic so sinhal. I mean if one of them was female they would have been mainline canon years ago. Morrison is the only dc writer who gets me (made sinhal canon in an alternative universe and I'm eternally grateful for that). They're such good parallels and if they got together??? Insanity

[blank] / dealer's choice

When in space and lonely, Hal will make a construct of those he loves and just talk to them, and then cry.

#Ask Reply #kyleraynered #Hal Jordan

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chenfordspiral · 3 months

Note

Fanfic asks: multiples of 6!

6. Do you prefer writing shorter, standalone fics or longer, multi-chapter stories? Oh, uh.. mh. Currently? Multi chapter. I'm actually having a lot of fun plotting and outlining, and then replanning and repotting things right now. Although finding a right ending is super difficult and I know I won't be able to stop writing Little bit of Love because no ending will ever feel right. I know exactly what the very las- no, I'm not gonna say it. Anyway, standalone fics require much less thought (I overthink everything anyway) and I kind of want to go back to that but right now I really do enjoy the challenge of multi chapters.

12. Are there any clichés or tropes that you actively avoid in your fics? I always thought I'd say MCD but that one went out the window within a month.. generally, I'm not a big fan of jealousy for whatever character. Also, I know I used the tag "insecure Lucy" once but I honest to God HATE that story now because neither her nor Tim are insecure about anything to do with their relationship or their bodies. Guess that's my second thing then. Wow, insecure and jealousy... two big words these days in the Chenford/Rookie fandom..

18. Are there any fics or authors that have been particularly influential or inspiring to you? Are you fishing for compliments?? 😂 I'm sorry, that was terrible omg. Jokes aside, I'm actually serious. From the very beginning when I started reading Rookie (*cough* Chenford *cough*) fanfic, you were one of my fave authors, and still are. Wait- it actually started with Castle fanfic years ago! Also, we all know I love Sarah's fics as well, and I can only hope that one day I might be able to string words together on a page the way you two can. Oh! And there's a fic written for Caskett and another one for Densi (don't remember the authors rn) that are just so.. woah, and they actually inspired the fic I've been trying to write since May. I hope I can spin that particular idea for Chenford and do it justice whenever I finally do write it.

24. What advice would you give to someone who wants to start writing fanfiction? Honestly? Just do it. Just start and get whatever you want to write on a page. I know how absolutely terrifying it is to actually post something for the first time and it took me days to finally hit that button. But I can honestly say that it was one of the best decisions I made last year because it's so much fun and I feel like I just keep learning? It's weird to say that about a hobby like this, but it's true.

30. How do you handle writing multiple storylines or subplots? Damn, these questions are tough. I should really read through them before reblogging.. I'm not sure how to answer this actually because I never thought about this before. Do I even have more than one storyline in my stories?? Like I'm legitimately asking cause I don't know. Actually, mh. Now that I think about it, I guess keeping subplots integrated into the bigger picture somehow is important. I don't want to add a subplot at one point and then drop it and never talk about it again. Am I even answering this question properly??

Thanks for sending in some questions!

#ask games #asked and answered #writing

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ahmedmootaz · 3 months

Note

Hello Ahmed! This time, instead of questions about the cast, I want to ask questions about you. What's your favorite fic for LobCorp/ruina/limbus? Imo yours (TMFOA/AiP) are my favorite simply because of the depth that you go into and the characterization the cast being in point. Second, how far would you say you are from your next chapter, and do you plan on implementing a segmented release like how you did chapters 26/27? Lastly (cast related fic), since you're technically God in your fics, how would the cast react to your existence (Assuming they don't know that they're fictional, only that you made their world. We don't need any existential crisis on top of the mountains of angst!!)

Dear hncdhnmfr,

Oh, questions for me, personally? You flatter me too much, but hey, who am I to complain about it? Also, hey, would you look at that! I'm actually responding to an ask before 24 hours have passed since it was published, what has the world come to?!

On a more serious note, I feel you certainly deserve a quicker response considering the ludicrous wait you had to go through last time, so apologies again for that.

So for you questions...Ironically enough, for as much as I write about it, I don't read too many PMverse 'Fics, mostly because I can't find Ayin 'Fics that have a focus on his as I want them to, although off the top of my head, Silent Resonance by KABN (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31268576/chapters/77295107) and A_Random_Reading_Person's LC works (https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Random_Reading_Person/pseuds/A_Random_Reading_Person/works?fandom_id=14487746) have always scratched my itch when it comes to Eyucar content and even Roland-centric stories. They're not bloated messes like my 'Fics, they have lots of monologues and character introspectives, and frankly speaking, they're a lot fluffier than my works. Who can say no to some PM fluffiness at last without having to suffer a whole ton of angst to get to it?

As for how far I am from the next AiP Chapter...that's an answer I wish I had covered. I'm writing more and more of Epilogue II every day, but honestly...it doesn't end. It keeps going on, and on, and on...although I have hopes I can finish it relatively soon, I also had plans to release it in August of 2023, soooooo...take from that what you will. What I will say is to keep your eyes peeled for April or May, or so I hope.

Also, yes, it's definitely going to need to be split into two parts, believe me. Even if I don't want to, the Archive editor can't post a Chapter that's longer than 500K characters...

As for that last question...I don't think of myself that way at all, not in the slightest sense. I would say I am closer to the Narrator when it comes to my role in the plot of AiP; sure, I write some elements, but I just nudge things in the right direction while letting the Narrator explain what, exactly I nudged and in what direction...at least, that's how I would describe it if I were to place myself within the Canon of my PM 'Fics.

So how would the cast react finding out I exist...honestly? They'd probably laugh it off or think I'm just another power-tripping lunatic from the City, although once they realise what I'm truly capable of, maybe they'll be resentful I didn't just write "Oh also Carmen suddenly unDistorted" or did something to aid them on their journey, which is frankly a good question. An answer of "well, you were never in any real danger, and lots of people love reading about you since you're celebrities" will sound more unhinged than I would intend to come off across, but with the correct wording and explanations, I'm certain that we can have an amicable relationship of sorts. Although Ayin and Yesod would definitely begin to worry if every action they partake in has been nudged by me or whether it's whatever free-will they have acting.

Overall, considering the nature of the City, it's not far-fetched to say they can get used to it...the question is just what, exactly, they'll go through before getting used to it. Hatred? Confusion? Indifference? All are possible options considering how wide the range of our dear cast is, although I'm almost certain the primary reaction will be anger for all of the angst I've pushed them towards for our sick pleasure, but then again, maybe I can argue my way out of that one by saying that in the end, the events I pushed them towards led to better results in the end, no? It's quite the fun thought exercise!

What do you think, hncdhnmfr? Surely you have your own opinion, hmmmmm? Regardless, and as always, thank you for your fun ask! I always look forward to them, and I hope this one makes up for last time's delay. Until next time, be well, take care, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ask #ayin

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flyinghome-againstthewind · 7 months

Text

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag, @walkinginland!! 💜

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

8! 😅

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

234,699 (the fact that I'm almost at a quarter of a million words feels all kinds of crazy to me 🥹)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently and on ao3, just Outlander. I did a lot more fandom hopping in my youth and on ffnet.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the best by far is you (Outlander, multichap, canon-divergent - what if Faith lived?)

Beside the Seaside (Outlander, multichap, 1940s au - single parents twist on seasons 1&2)

The Lost Ones (Outlander, one-shot, modern au - Jamie and Claire are neighbors and help each other through a difficult holiday season)

Holly, Ivy, Mistletoe (Outlander, one-shot, tbbfiy holiday fic)

When My Love Reaches to Me (Outlander, one-shot, modern au - follow up to The Lost Ones)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do for most of my fics! Beside the Seaside has become a little overwhelming so I don't respond to those comments at the moment.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have to go with one of my drabble for this bc I dont usually write angsty endings for my fics, only angsty middles 😅 but I think Something to Hold Onto fits the bill for this. Though she be but 100 words, she is angsty.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the best by far is you had a pretty happy ending, but I think Soften Every Edge will hold that title once it's finished.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

There was one person who REALLY didn't like the family separation arc in tbbfiy and trolled the comment section a few times, but that's been the only true hate I've ever received on a fic.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I hadn't ever written smut before Outlander, and I blame Jamie and Claire being the two horniest muses I've ever worked with for my forray into smut writing lol. I don't write a lot of smut, but if inspiration strikes and I feel like it adds to the story, I will usually include it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do not!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of 🤞🏻 Back in my ffnet days, I had someone message me about my fic that they wanted to basically copy and paste bits and pieces of it and change the characters but keep the main storyline (staying within the same fandom, mind you... and just switching characters around) and I said ummmm no?? but thank you for asking nicely?? and then watched their stories like a hawk for a few months, but to my knowledge, they respected what I said and didn't do that 😅

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't and honestly I'm mystified by how people make that work. I've read a number of fics that were co-written by two people and the results are so cool.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't like to answer what my all-time anything is because I am indecisive 😭 but at least in terms of writing fic, I've got almost a quarter of a million words published just about Jamie and Claire, so. That answer feels obvious.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oof. I never even posted it, but in my college years, I was vibing very hard with a Smallville au, wrote several chapters, it lived rent free in my mind, and never got around to finishing it. But oh my god the Themes of it all...

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterization and theme, I think. I feel like if I know the characters and I know what the themes are, I can cobble together some kind of story.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting lol. It's always the joke with fic writing that you have to write a whole story around the one random scene you envisioned, and that's how most of mine start. So figuring out the plot and pacing from there is always a struggle.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I always want to include other languages that are integral to the characters (hi, jamie fraser!), but as someone who regrettably only speaks English, I get so nervous about the fact that I rely on google translate and might get it horrendously wrong and upset someone who actually speaks the language because it's That Bad. 😅 So I usually include what I can and then use indicators when someone is speaking in another language but I'm typing it in English.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh god, I can't remember exactly, but I think the first fandom that I actually wrote and posted a fic for was One Tree Hill (though some of you on twitter might remember the story of 8th grade Anna turning in a chapter of her Alias fanfic for a creative writing assignment, I didn't ever end up posting that story, so that was just for me, my sister, and my 8th grade English teacher, apparently 💀)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh god. I feel like it changes depending on what I'm working on, honestly. Beside the Seaside has been super self-indulgent and fun to write, but I'm having a love-hate relationship with sharing that one with an audience at the moment. Currently, my favorite one I've written/am still writing is Soften Every Edge - I'm just very pleased with how chapter 1 turned out and loving any time I get to return to that world and that family.

I'm not sure who all has done this already, so no pressure tagging @theawkwardterrier and @behindthelabels

#fic writer meme #fic meme

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yiptsu · 8 months

Note

Hey, here's a chance for you to ramble ;)

About who because I have way too much to say all at once

Like for fucking starters the way the fandom took Dreamtale (which quite frankly didn't belong in the UnderTale Multiverse in the first place and I'm 90% sure Joku just wanted to insert her[?] OCs and story somewhere she[?] knew it would get attention) and turned it into something fantastic was absolutely incredible to watch pan out in real-time. Second of all there is nobody in this world who is more in love with Nightmare's design than I am at this point 'cuz there has not been a single day in the last five years I have not thought about him (/srs) good LORD there is way too much to talk about there and I promised someone I wouldn't be un-sfw on here just know I'm on my knees barking for him begging him for a chance a SINGLE chance and that I would pay for.. certain artwork.. of him if given that opportunity..

Anyway I think the fandom's version of Dreamtale both ruins and improves the overall story because quite frankly I have never been happy with how Passive!Nightmare straightup dies but maybe that's just the angst brain y'know I think that Nightmare living but holding a deep hatred and/or jealousy for Dream would have been a better route there but also I understand that the AU doesn't only revolve around them and has to involve other characters and having Passive die is probably one of the easiest ways of doing that. But also if Nightmare killed his own mom how much extra angst potential would there be, right? 'Cuz then we'd also get angst with Dream trying to move on from it and forgive him and that is a whole other topic and I'm tryna stay on track here.

Speaking of Dream I personally think that the way the fandom used to (and still does sometimes) treat him was foul.. absolutely slanderous. UwU little soft boi Dream.. bleh. I think I could understand that take on Dream if it was when he was younger or had just directly come out of statue form but the people who used to write him as just some guy who lived solely to fix his brother and not think about anything else was certainly something. I mean I think you could technically write a perspective like that but it would take such a large amount of effort to fit properly within literally any sort of canon that it just wouldn't be worth it at all unless you're really that dedicated to it. Anyway, I think I'm just glad that the fandom has largely moved past the entire pathetically weak Dream saga that happened. I really fucking love Dream who is still grieving over the loss of his brother but can also accept that he's gone and is focusing on saving the Multiverse instead of trying to get his brother back at any cost I'm so in love with that version of Dream but nobody writes him like that on Wattpad so whenever I'm reading a fic about him it's HORRIBLE.

Y'know what I'm taking the chance to talk about how I don't think there's enough religious content surrounding Dream and Nightmare because I'd like to remind everyone that they are Guardians, which is pretty similar to Gods depending on who you ask. You CANNOT tell me that, whilst Nightmare is out causing havoc and spreading negativity to the AUs and such, not a SINGLE person would start thinking of him as a deity-like figure. Take it a step further and have them praying to him and giving him offerings like that is a banger concept if done correctly.

Take it ANOTHER step further and have it be done with Dream. Sure Nightmare's the Guardian of Negativity so not many people are likely to support him and such but Dream is the Guardian of Positivity, people would 100% worship him. There are so many things you could do with this concept, have him running around trying to keep his supporters happy whilst also protecting the Multiverse from Nightmare, have him be overwhelmed have him be fearful of the way people view him because it reminds him of the times before the Apple Incident oh my God please can someone do anything with this concept

Also side note I am in love with the bad sanses poly ship like that's also something not explored enough within fics I'll get around to writing something about it eventually but LORD the things I would do to read a 150k word fic about their adventures and their love for each other and their arguments and their miscommunications and their flaws and how they love each other's flaws and how they accept each other for who they are without having to drastically change anything about themselves and how they've finally found comfort in other people like them and how they never thought they would so they're super happy and AAAAAAAAAA dude. The things I'd do to read something like that.

Also. Listen to me. Error. I don't think I have to say much else because the large majority of people are already agreeing just based on Error alone but.. Error.

I am a VERY big fan of how his redesign is VERY similar to Geno's design except in negative form with some slight variations and I don't know if anything I'm about to talk about was on purpose or not but we're going into it anyway. First of all I love the idea of a Sans somehow glitching his way practically out of existence and becoming a fucked up piece of code like Error, but God the way his design looks will never get old to me. Never. The way he's all black because it's the negative of white and y'know in computer viruses and crashes they usually portray it as turning into negative colours when something has gone wrong BUT the way that Error's design only uses the primary colours (red, yellow, blue) WOOF that gets me GOINNNNNGGG like YES we've gone back to the basics no more complex colours no more special little colour palettes nothing like that he is basic and he is simple. He is UNPREDICTABLE like a virus he does not have any set opinions or personality traits at least not set in stone he is unhinged he has nothing to properly define him other than the term 'manbaby' and it is SO good because he isn't Sans he isn't even considered one or at least he shouldn't be because yes technically he is one if you look into it even the slightest but he has basically zero similarities because his personality is negative his personality is flipped his personality is FUCKED everything about him is FUCKED and he is INSANE. He is not patient like Sans he is not mysterious like Sans he is not harmless unless heavily, heavily aggravated like Sans he is the opposite he is a FOOL. A JESTER. Can someone draw him in a jester's outfit I think that would be funny anyway I love him he's my little meow meow my little guy my little non-friendly pal ALSO his fucking birthday is a 404 joke and his strings are a joke too for strings of code and it took me FOUR YEARS to figure that out because I'm a dummy but once it clicked?? Wowza it was like a new world opened because I could actually finally understand what his strings were all about.

I don't really have much to say about Killer if I'm being honest with you.. I'm just obsessed with him because he's a crazy extrovert who stabs people to death and also his design fucks hard though I do somehow keep forgetting his Soul whenever I draw him.. which isn't often I really need to start drawing him more he's SO fun his little drippy eye sockets are SO much fun to draw I cannot lie to you guys I would most definitely do a full piece of art of him if it meant I got to draw his eyes.

Fuck it I think Killer and Nightmare's possible relationship dynamics go CRAZY and I will need there to be more content of them. It does not matter if it's ship or not I just need them being them. I need Killer annoying Nightmare but Nightmare putting up with it because he finds it really cute how Killer likes being near him even if it's only to annoy him. I need Killer being patient and listening to Nightmare struggling to explain his own emotions (I also need Nightmare who can process everyone else's emotions besides his own) and Nightmare being so so grateful that he can confide in Killer about it. I need Killer following Nightmare's every word and demand because he wants to please him and when Nightmare compliments him it's all worth it. I need awkward Nightmare and Killer where Killer keeps trying to befriend Nightmare but Nightmare can't figure out what he's trying to do so he's just like "???" until Killer has to outright ask him to be friends. I need not awkward Killer and Nightmare where Nightmare knows full well that Killer wants to be friends but he is afraid of what would happen and he's afraid of putting their team in danger because what if he says something bad and Killer decides to leave ?? What would happen to the rest of his team then ??

I need Nightmare and Killer content where Nightmare is willing to take the risk of befriending him if it means being closer with him. And then I need Nightmare and Killer content which evolves into Killermare content which then evolves into bad sans poly.

I need Nightmare and Killer. Just in general now I just need them no further context.

WHEW the things I could say about Blueberror.. man I only started getting into him like a week ago because of a Wattpad request but I completely forgot how in love with his design I am. I can't really comment on it the same way as Error because, well, nothing tops Error but his design is so so so fun I love it I love how he still resembles his old self I love how not much changed other than he, again, became a sort of negative-like version of himself. I fucking love the stars on his face too I think face markings have gotta be the best thing to ever happen with OC creation in general things just feel incomplete if they don't have something there to draw on their faces

Wait is that the link? Is that what I've been missing???? Blueberror has stars Error has lines, Killer has his drippy eyesockets and Nightmare has his one singular covered drippy eyesocket oh fuck they all have some sort of identifiable feature on their faces God damn it

#undertale au #error sans #nightmare sans #blueberror #dream sans #killer sans #dreamtale #errortale #nightmares gang #sans au #ramblings #i could write a lot more but im sleepy goodnight

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okthatsgreat · 1 year

Note

that reblog about asking random questions about fics..... hmmmm. ive been curious for a while now - what's your thought process behind opddmh? any particular theme you've had fun exploring, or a potential overarching idea? i love hearing people explain the intricacies of their writing processes

ohhhhh my god oh my god. you have unleashed something within me ohhhhh my god. something cringe is awakening something very cringe is happening to me right now

referring to this post, talking about this fic :]

(im gonna put all of this under read more for the people that dont want to read this LMAO)

OKAY. TIME TO GET SO STUPID. IM SO SORRY FOR BEING LIKE THIS

at the core of this fic is trauma-- it's a story about emerging from indescribable pain and horror, only to walk into a world that treats you as a spectacle and your pain as entertainment. so much of opddmh's themes come from trauma, as every character's pov deals with it in distinct ways, none of which are particularly healthy LMAO. going into each characters pov, my thought process is always concerning how they would react to the situation in front of them, but always keeping that trauma over them as another deciding (often overpowering) factor. makoto at his core is still a caring man, but he has been so deprived by the company that has kept him there for so long that his natural response to unpleasant emotions or thoughts is to bury it in sake of putting on a show. mikan has always been very timid and regretful, but now many of her actions are sincerely doubted as being selfish or secretly evil, a temperament only aggravated by her status as blackened. akane's desire to "be strong" has only worsened to an extreme degree, as her first instinct is to drop anybody that could possibly remind her of weakness or the killing game.

these are killing game participants who are no longer the children they were when all of this started, people who did not sign up for this but have to keep going anyways-- and i LOVE exploring the implication of that postgame it is like a drug to me. theyve gone through unimaginable horror, most of them dont have families they can return to, and everybody in the world knows them as a beloved tv character. the only way for them to survive is to adapt, a strategy that not all of them have mastered. makoto, whose title as ultimate hope has been watered down sooooo so much, is the POSTER child (literally) for adapting, while characters like akane have still been significantly silenced by danganronpa but are unable to adapt entirely. it was important to me that i had povs which were different yet cohesive, and were able to convey the range of survival that these older participants have :] and this includes the secret fifth pov that hasnt been introduced yet >:)

these are no longer people in the public's eyes as much as they are entertainers (which by the way, i love writing this aspect of postgame dr lololol the PERFORMANCE of it all). my friend lily made such a good comment about it at one point and i dont remember her exact words but it was something along the lines of "the audience doesn't want the performer, they want the performance" which is soo true of this universe in particular. so when i write these different people i like to keep in mind the person they are and they person they present themselves as. so many of the older participants are so jaded its insane

but then theres v3!! there are NEW kids here. trauma is so important as a theme when it comes to how these characters interact with each other, and ESPECIALLY how the older characters are able to see themselves in the younger ones. a lot of the character dynamics were chosen deliberately so that the v3 kids mirror the older participants!!!!!!!!!!!!! v3 hasn't been desensitised just yet, they haven't lost touch with their anger and sadness and fear like a lot of the older participants have. i find it important while writing to remember how NEW these kids are, especially when it comes to writing people like miu, who isn't ready to give in to danganronpa conformity just yet and is trying her hardest to be better (or at the very least, not the same miu iruma, ultimate inventor that everybody watched on their television screens). and then of course you have characters like angie and rantaro, who are DEEEEEEEEP in denial and unable to properly move out of that first stage of grief just yet lmao. they are fortunate(????) enough that the journey they go through is a lot more private than some of the other characters can say theirs were. a lot of the time i write about the newer v3 participants i make an effort to refer to them as young or as children/teens because they Are. theyre so Young and it definitely effects how they handle themselves !!!

so much of this fic is about trauma but so much of it is finding strength in others as well, even if its moving slowly towards it lol. it's important to me that there is hope in the fic, that even though it feels like they are very isolated at the moment they arent entirely alone. things get worse before they get better but they do get better and i wanted there to be peace in the relationships they build with each other

also fun fact this story was originally a one shot where miu jumps into makotos car they chat and then he drops her back where she came from lol! would have really cut this story short!

n e ways thank you anonymous i love you <3 so so sorry for being so serious about my own fic ghfdjhgsdjhgkfdjhgdksghfskjghdj </3

#THANK YOUUUUUUU THANK YOU!!!!!#IM SO SORRY FOR RAMBLING!#i have got to calm down this is a danganronpa fic.#need to practice restraint #ask lee #opddmh #anonymous

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spaceofentropy · 1 year

Text

Brain Weasels! Assemble!

aka: @creepkinginc (hi, Nosho! 💙) tagged me in this thing that @thatoneao3author (hiiii!) concocted, and today the brain is braining the right way, so here we are! With a long long long thing. I made it Gallavich. Maybe if the brain keeps on braining right, tomorrow I'll do another version for another ship, who the heck knows! Not me!

So, the rules (more or less) are:

use this au generator to assign you an au, this fan fiction trope generator to give you a trope/situation/sometimes another au, feel free to keep clicking until you get something that inspires you.

then try to come up with the title, plot, vibe, and details of a fic including whatever the generators gave you. you don’t actually have to write it, just put the concept into the world! this is basically just a thought experiment.

The randomizing gods gave me a Hacker(s) AU and (after a couple of nope tropes, because I don't know shit about Regency, sorry, gods!) on New Year's Day soulmates switch bodies for 24 hours and have to try and figure out who the other person is so they can find them when the time is up.

Title: Words within the margin [I'm terrible at titles but make do with music 😎]

Plot: it's after the cut because it's long! 🫣

Mickey as our hacker. He doesn't think the whole soulmate thing will ever happen to him, so he is well beyond plastered when the New Year starts and the switch happens. He wakes up in a cabin somewhere in the fucking woods, not a car, let alone a road or even dirt path, near it. He's in the middle of fucking nowhere. Not happy about it. Oh, and this weirdo doesn't even have a cell phone or computer or anything like that in the cabin! And clearly he doesn't believe in mirrors. All that Mickey has are food, shelter, and books on psychology and mental illness. The best idea of this weirdo's face he gets from the lid of one of the pots in the kitchen: pale, redhead, greenish eyes maybe? Hard to tell from a lid. Great dick. And tall, holy fuck it's weird to be this tall, he keeps on bumping against stuff because he miscalculates spaces and distances.

Meanwhile, Ian does not wake up early and bright in the little cabin where he's taking a well deserved pause from the world and his job as a counsellor. Nope. It's well past midday and he's in a body that's super hangover, in an apartment that looks more like a computer repair shop than anything else. All the devices are password protected, even the couple of cell phones he finds. There are two wallets with two different sets of IDs for two different names. No paper mail or useful documents anywhere that he can find. The more he tries to pinpoint who this guy is from stuff in his house, the less he knows, aside from the fact he likes cheap beer, knives, and videogames.

Mickey spends most of his time in the cabin perusing the books, there are little notes here and there, the guy has a dorky sense of humor that makes him chuckle, but he also sprinkles here and there glimpses of bad experiences with doctors, with meds and treatments and healthcare providers that were not great.

Ian leaves the apartment to look for more clues about, at the very least, where this weirdo lives, but it's even worse, one of the neighbors catches him as he tries to steal someone's mail (it would have been such an easy way to get at least an address!) and he runs, not sure why but he just runs. Wanders an unknown town like many others, no idea where he is. Finds his way back to the building, he has a road name and a number, except there must be so many Washington Streets around... He spends hours looking at the weirdo's stuff, feeling like he's intruding just by being there, every moment less sure of wanting to know this guy. They are soulmates, apparently, but... he feels like he's stepping into a cheap spy story. Perfect stuff to further unbalance the already unsteady situation inside his brain. What if this guy is even crazier than him? There are so many weird thing, in his apartment and potentially his life...

There's a phonecall to one of the phones, he answers hoping the person at the other end will say something useful, a name, a detail, something, but the girl only calls him fuckface and dickhead. A relative, judging by how, after a while, she gets worried when Ian doesn't answer the way she expected. He's debating whether to tell her that he's a visiting soulmate or not, when midnight strikes and he's thrown back into his body, in the cabin, with one of his books open in his hands and a note in a different handwriting than his in the corner.

Nice refuge you have here, Firecrotch. Bet I still can find you in a week or less. Hope you didn't make a mess at my place. Had no idea what to do with them, so take your meds, dude. M.

It takes Mickey 8 days to come knocking on the door to Ian's cabin, and only because he has to go to an office in person, they do all stuff on paper in Bumfuck County, Wherever It Is Ian's Cabin Is, damn neanderthals!

Less than twenty minutes after meeting him in person for the first time, Ian's doubt about Mickey are relegated to background noise. The universe might be right with this soulmates thing!

Yeah. I think that's it. That's what happens when the brain weasels latch onto an idea they like (and they LOVE soulmates) 🤷‍♀️

I'm supposed to tag people, but honestly I don't know if I have the bandwidth left for it. 🥲 If you read this and want to do it, you're welcome to! ❤️

#tag game #fanfiction #gallavich #not a fic but the idea of it #the randomizing gods #my stuff

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kydrogendragon · 2 months

Note

I saw the writing ask, if you're doing it: 13 or 30

Took me forever to find the post again! My Tumblr did not want to show it to me, lol

13. Rate your worldbuilding skills from 1 to 10.

Hmm . . . I thought on this one for a bit. See, on one hand, there are some authors and writers out there that deserve a true 10 (or higher) that come to mind, like Tolkien with the expansive universe and such he had created. And those seem very "Heavy In Worldbuilding" type stories. But worldbuilding still comes into play for stories set in our normal world as we know it too, of course, not just fantasy settings 😅

So after pondering worldbuilding in general for probably far too long, I'm thinking I'll go to a solid 5. I feel like I'm decent at world building and considering different aspects of the world my stories take place in and how that might affect things, but I know I've a lot of room for improvement in that regard. There's been many cases where people would comment or theorize on different things and how it might affect the story that I hadn't ever even thought of! So, probably at my current skill level, pretty average, I think.

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't

Oh gods, so many. Of which, many are in WIP status because I'll feel bad if I day they're abandoned 🤣 But let's see, what's a good one that I don't think I'll get around to writing . . .

I really wanted to try writing a classic fake-dating, only one bed trope filled fic with Dreamling. Very Hallmark Movie-esque with Hob not wanting to deal with his family and grandparents and everyone asking when he's "going to bring someone home again" and "you deserve to have another chance at happiness" and "Elle would want you to try again" and "I don't want to see you all alone, it's not good for you." And Hob's just . . . Done with it all. He's not sure he can handle another holiday filled with those comments, so when his Ma calls, confirming when he's coming down for Christmas and asks if it's just him, he lies and says no. It's not. He's bringing his partner.

And then freaks out once he hangs up and realizes what he's done.

I had the thought of him meeting Dream on the way there. Both of them waiting at the train station to get out into the countryside. The trains running late. Snow's coming down pretty quickly. Dream's miserable and Hob overhears his argument over the phone with someone (Desire? Death? Night?) before growling out that "he would have a better holiday keeled over in a ditch on the side of the road than if he spent a single minute within any of your company." And aggressively (as aggressive as one can with a smartphone) hangs up. He starts gathering his items, looking ready to head back to London when Hob speaks before his brain can tell him it's a terrible plan.

He asks Dream—without even knowing the man's name—to come spend the holidays with him. Says there's gonna be good food, a cozy fireplace, a cute cat, and that no one should have to spend the season alone, even if their family sucks.

Dream, fresh off his most recent failure of a relationship with Thessaly, feeling more depressed than his usual baseline, and a tad more comfortable than he should with the idea that this man could very well be a serial killer, agrees. He shouldn't. Death's voice rings in his head, telling him this is how true crime podcasts start, this is how horror movies start. But he finds he can't even bring himself to care.

They talk a bit over the train ride, small things. Hob does most of the talking. Then Hob brings up the fact that he may have told his Ma he was bringing a date.

Dream bristles at that, they get into a quietly heated argument on the train but the fight soon leaves him. Perhaps this is the only way someone could "love" him: faked for their sake. Untrue. A lie. But it's better than nothing.

So to that, he also agrees. Hob's shocked through this whole thing and feeling guilty about basically conning this man into being his "boyfriend". But then, in classic rom-com fashion, they start to truly fall in love, though convinced the other isn't. There's probably a good portion of arguments and rubbing each other the wrong way, of course. And intentional embarrassment of each other too.

But it's when Christmas morning comes around and the whole family is having fun and laughing and watching each other open gifts that one of Hob's little cousins hands him a small, flat package with his name in fancy script. He blinks, confused as he sees the "From" field filled in with Dream's name.

"I thought we said we weren't giving each other anything?" Hob asks, brow quirked upward, wondering when the hell this man even had time to get him a gift. (Then a spark of fear, wondering what the hell is in this package. Especially after their fight the night before.)

Dream says nothing, of course, just silently watches with an intensity Hob's begun to grow fond of, hands curled around a warm mug of hot cocoa, still clad in the set of matching PJ'S Hob's mother had bought them both.

Hob peels back the shiny red wrapping paper to find a single sheet of thicker paper. On it, a wonderfully sketched and rendered image of Hob's very own face rests. He's smiling, wrapped up with the beanie and scarf combination he'd worn on their outing to the tree farm earlier. It takes his breath away.

"Turn it over," Dream commands quietly, the sound of joyous laughter and activity nearly drowns his deep voice out.

On the back is that same, neat script. There's a letter addressed to him. His eyes barely get through the first sentence before he tears up.

"I have grown far fonder of you this past week than would be advisable, but as I have found throughout my life, the heart rarely cares for such matters of the mind. You aggravate me, Hob Gadling. You, with your overly cheerful morning greetings and terrible singing. You, with your propensity for listening to the same three Christmas songs on repeat and a ludacris appetite for sweets. You, who would visit the Queen of England in nothing more than coderoy trousers and a secondhand sweater vest. There are countless reasons I should only feel disdain for you. Had we met in any other fashion, I doubt we would have ever wished to speak with one another again.

And yet . . . And yet, I find myself smiling when I hear your voice above the falling water in the bathroom. And yet I find myself humming along to the words to Deck the Halls, a song I had never known the lyrics to before this year. And yet I find myself enjoying the warmth and comfort one finds wrapped in your arms, pressed against those very sweater vests.

You confuse me, Hob Gadling. You are the antithesis of everything I have ever sought in others, but perhaps that is why I now find myself falling for you. You who understand me at a level I find terrifying. You who is unafraid to push me when I need pushing, to guard me when the world is more than I can handle.

I believe I am falling in love with you, Hob. And that terrifies me. But, perhaps, you have started to feel the same?"

Hob, of course, all but falls into Dream's lap and kisses the man, earning a whooping holler from his brother. Be he doesn't care. Because he has Dream, something he thought impossible.

Writing Ask Game

#ky asks #writing game #dreamling #fics that might not ever happen but maybe!#maybe that'll be this year's holiday fic :p

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