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this-is-ally-and-im-confused · 2 years

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hey friend !! could i pls request a jack hughes imagine about the reader meeting him somewhere for the first time and having a completely different personality than him that he almost thinks its weird until he realizes how much he likes it and they hit it off? sorry that was so long ahh but thank u !! <3

when red met blue|| J.Hughes

(part 2 to “for you” out tomorrow)

Summary: What happens when jack falls in love with his opposite?

Taglist: @snugglyducklingbrewhouse @hugheshugs @boeswhore @oowenspower @nucksgal03 join the taglist!

Masterlist!

Warnings: like one second of mentioning getting hurt but mostly just fluff!

Jack’s pov:

It’s about two hours before the game tonight. So I decided to break my regular pregame routine and visit the little vintage clothing store on the street of downtown New Jersey. I can say with confidence that I’m not the flashiest fashion icon but I don’t do too bad.

At this point, I'd do anything to clear my head from the upcoming game against my brother. The Canucks are more than an even match for my team. I have confidence in my boys. We’ve been working hard, partying harder, and overall leaving our hearts out on the ice.

I mean, that’s where I leave my heart.

The boys have been quick to chirp me on my lack of partners. It sounds stupid– I know, but I think that I haven’t had a partner since before draft day. Plus, it’s safe to say that hockey can get a little lonely at times. See I have had this big reputation that often perceives me. I’m loud, cocky, and focused on my game. None of those are fatal flaws.

Somehow, they still certainly make it hard to date.

So as I stepped into the entrance of the dainty shop. I was surprised to see the most stunning girl I had ever seen. The only issue is the vintage Canucks jersey wrapped around her delicate frame. She’s adorable with her bulky glasses, her messy hair, her huge paint-covered jeans, and bright yellow doc martens.

“Hey! welcome to NJ vintage boutique…not a very original store name I know, but it’s ours! I'm y/n! How can I help you today?” the beautiful girl meekly squeals out. She doesn’t even make eye contact.

I can't help but internally “aww” at her. She’s tiny. So tiny that I have inches in height on her. I’m so busy looking her over that I almost forget to respond.

“Oh, I’m just looking around town. I had a few hours to kill.” I stammer out. My hand reaches up to rub the back of my neck. That’s a nervous habit.

Y/n looks me over. Her eyes narrow. I hold my breath as I wait for her to recognize me. Yet, she doesn’t. All she does is smile and turn back to folding t-shirts.

“Do you like hockey?” I can't help but ask her.

She finishes up her folding and walks behind a counter beside me.

“uhhhh if I’m honest, no. My friend invited me to a hockey game tonight. This was the only jersey I own! if you're interested, behind that rack there’s some vintage jerseys and stuff.” She shyly admits.

My heart was pounding at the speed of sound. I walked over and pretended to look over the jerseys. I spotted a New Jersey Devils retro. It’s perfectly her size. I wonder if I can convince her to trade teams.

“Have you worked here for long?” I am desperately trying to make small talk.

Which is apparently not my strong suit.

“I mean sorta, I'm only in Newark for art school.” She shared.

Wow, art school. I've never been so drawn in by the creative types. That explained the paint stains on her pants. My god, I must seem like a creep. The nagging inside me told me that I should ask her to look out for me at the game.

“Are you excited about the game?” I sheepishly ask.

She smiled and nodded. When I looked at her I saw the peppering of freckles across her cheeks. I saw the frog earrings dangling from her ears and how gorgeous her eyes were. She was electrifying.

In a nerdy and cute kind of way. Something about her made me want to know her more.

your pov:

You try not to freak out at the gorgeous customer in front of you. His shaggy blonde hair was so fluffy. He had stunning blue eyes. It took every urge inside of you not to pull out your sketchbook and draw the goofy look on his face.

“Ummm, I don’t know much about hockey but based on your Devil’s hoodie– I take it you do?” You don't know where you got the confidence to say that.

He nods eagerly. It’s adorable how his hair flops around as he does.

“You could say that,” he replies. He is not my type. Jocks had never been the ones you're into dating. Nevertheless, he was gorgeous. You couldn’t help but feel drawn to him.

“My shift ends in fifteen minutes…do you maybe want to go grab a coffee and explain what the hell I’ll be watching tonight?” You nervously tuck your hair behind your ear. You’re not ever the one to ask boys out like this. You had crossed your finger as you waited for his response.

“Sure, I'll even explain what I do for a living to you.” he smiled and walked over to the jersey you had seen him look at earlier.

He handed me a gorgeous bright red jersey. You couldn't help the blush across my face. As well as the feeling that you would be changing from a Canuck fan to a Jersey Devil fan in no time.

Only if I'm lucky, that is.

~ after the game~

Jacks pov:

Once I get off the ice–I shoot y/n a text with our newly exchanged numbers telling her where to come to wait for me.

I hope that she let me take her out for something to eat. Or maybe I could find a way to convince her to see me again.

Her smiling face greets me as she waits outside with her friend. She’s gorgeous. I can tell she’s excited based on how she was bouncing on her toes. The best part of seeing her now was how I noticed her Canucks jersey from earlier had been replaced with a bright NJ devil's jersey. When I dropped my bag, she jumped towards me with a hug. I was overzealous to hug her back.

Her hug was dream-like. She fit perfectly into my arms. She smelt like cinnamon and oil paints. I thought about how that was a smell I could enjoy for the rest of my life.

I couldn’t wait to take her out.

I didn’t even care about standing my brother up for this girl. That’s how much she means.

your pov:

“OMG Jack! You played so well! How do you skate like that? Did it hurt to get pushed into the boards like that? How do you know when you should shoot?” you're rambling out excitement and fascination.

You couldn’t help but worry that you were annoying this likely exhausted boy. He just grabbed your hand and his bag. Jack insisted that you let him take you out for an after-game snack.

You agreed to say goodbye to the friend that drove you here. She just laughed and called you a “lucky girl.”

You sure do feel lucky. This handsome, athletic, and sweetheart of a man took an interest in you. You are the tiny, quiet, and artsy girl. It was something out of Romeo and Juliet.

You two were completely different.

Yet, it feels right. From the moment you asked Jack out earlier today, you knew just how giddy he made you feel inside.

Thankfully, Jack took over most of the talking. He explained how he knew when to shoot or pass. He told you about his first time on skates. Jack blushed as he remembered how his older brother Quinn and his mom would help him around the rink every day until he could do it skate on his own.

You melt.

Jack, the cocky loudmouth, is a momma’s boy and a family man. You saw him pout when he said he doesn’t get to see his family nearly enough. You chimed in with how you felt the same. Your family was far away. You hadn’t settled into life here yet.

Just like that, another topic where you two click.

The two of you drive to a 24/7 diner to grab a snack and a drink. Also, to spend time with your new crush.

When you sit down, he orders a black coffee. You order an Italian soda. Those are easily the most opposite drinks on the menu.

You two or opposites. Not in a discouraging way.

Maybe you two are opposites, but in the way puzzle pieces are opposites. Or the way colors that are opposites mix into new prettier colors.

“I’ve always liked purple more than red.” Jack pulls you out of your rom-com like thoughts.

Can he read minds?

He must be able to. Every movement you make or joke you tell–jack can respond in harmony.

It feels like the two of you exist in your shared little bubble. It’s A world where the two of you are complete opposites living in harmony.

You pull your sketchbook out of your canvas tote bag. Ready to show Jack what you made while at the game.

His eyes are filled with wonder and excitement as you flip the page. The center of your mixed media drawing book shows an image. The picture was drawn out in pencil, pastels, and ink. Who is the center of this drawing? None other than The #86 himself. The image of him smiling with his hand outstretched in celebration. The colors surrounding the art piece were the hues of red, blue, and purple clashing around the beautiful boy.

Jack now knew that he had met his opposite. However, you were meant to be his.

“Will you go out with me, y/n?” Jack said softly.

Under the lighting of the soft diner lights, you just leaned over the table and kissed him. It felt right. You were both two perfect colors mixing on a page.

#nhl imagine #nhl blurb #hockey imagine #nhl fluff #send in requests #ally loves her moots #ally writes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes #new jersey devils #my amazing moots <3

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jockrightsnow · 4 years

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“petey lore” my new favorite expression... also pls feel free to share with the class any other piece of lesser known petey lore that we should all know about (also bless him for that girlfriend comment - tbh to me is really normal that teenagers don’t have relationships, let alone elite athletes with a full schedule since age 15)

i don’t know what facts are truly Secret Lore and which are generally known, because i have consumed as much Petey Content as i can without knowing swedish. i don’t consider myself a person w/ exhaustive knowledge but i have at least been following hockey since he was drafted (and for some time before, so i remember all of the stupid conversations about how cody glass was better--which, firmly: LOL, and i did lol at the time too, so i feel vindicated. i remember someone calling him lazy for staying to the side--he played wing in sweden, largely because he was fucking tiny and a teenager playing against grown-ass dudes, he was staying to the edges so he wouldn’t get murdered. it was TACTICAL!) so here are some fun facts gleaned entirely from publicly-available sources:

petey learned to unicycle at least in part out of spite. his dad unicycles, but his brother tried and failed to learn, so petey decided he would do it better to prove he could. (and then learned to juggle for “coordination.”)

his middle name is fredrik because his brother got to choose it and named him after a local swedish hockey player.

he got good at hockey in part because his dad drove the zamboni at the rink, so he had access to the rink at weird times. (some people have used this to imply he is the son of a lowly zamboni driver--this is not true, unfortunately. he just lived in a very small town, so i get the impression people had to take on multiple roles in the community. his dad owns a lot of buildings, so he has a lil wealth).

he’s an emotional person! he knows it!

i personally am obsessed with this moment where he says, essentially (paraphrased), “snitches get stitches but if i put up this wall hanging, you can bet i woulda done it right.” everyone could learn a lesson from a steadfast refusal to narc on even the incompetent. (that said, it was certainly his brother’s gf/the friends she recruited to make his apartment look not Male Living Spaces Dot Reddit--fanny posted a video of them redecorating the apartment for him and it is unbearably sweet to me as a Love Languages Acts of Service Person. he clearly has Overall Very Healthy Family Dynamics and talks to his family every day.)

he is a Sore Loser Who Gets Pissed Off When He Loses--this is imo clearly the case, but he confessed to it, so he’s also self-aware.

the front office asked him if they should arrange a billet family when he went to vancouver, and he was like, “uh, no.” he likes his own space and as you can see in various videos, he has all manner of little plants (can’t tell if they’re fake) in his apartment in sweden. he can cook--competent self-sufficient king of living by himself.

he knows he is a scorpio and has scorpio wall art hanging in his bedroom. sometimes it’s not about the facts themselves, it’s about the fact he KNOWS about the facts.

i am so sorry to report this i’m so fucking sorry but he gets little freckles during the summer and additionally has little freckles on his stomach. i am so sorry. i know this cannot be Secret but i did not perceive them from regular instagram posts and then i saw them and i thought “oh my god if anyone hurts him...i’ll go back in time and hurt them first...”

#i love everyone but i think it's very funny when Fandom Characterization of petey is like ultraconfident bitchy #it's better than totally emotionless but #he's very intense and dedicated and also extremely sensitive and awkward and shy in new situations #peak understanding petey is asg videos when he went by himself #he's confident in his skills but uh it does not translate watch him try to say hi to erik karlsson #also i like swedish interviews because they're markedly different but not that many w english subs

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hongism · 3 years

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hi caly!!! i finally had the time to read moc40 AND OH WOW OH WOW OH W O W I’M SO SO PROUD OF YOU AND BESTIE THIS CHAPTER WAS SO SO INCREDIBLE LIKE THE PACING AND EVERYTHING ELSE WAS INCREDIBLE AND OFC I HAVE MUCH TO SAY 🥺🥺💗💗 - 🦔

hi bestie i’m finally here eeek sorry it took me so long to respond T_T !!! thank you so much for being proud of me tho oh my gawd that makes me so happy to hear im so glad you loved it eeeeee YOU’RE TOO SWEET TO ME BESTIE ILYSM 💗💕❤💕💗❤💕💗🥺

the opening between hongjoong and mc about hyunwoo :( i don’t know how to word this but he’s truly such an observant and complicated character especially how he treats mc, which makes him a character who’s really fun to read!!

pls it makes me so happy to hear that you enjoy and it’s fun to read hongjoong’s character, he’s one i enjoy a lot. i think previously a lot perceived hongjoong as a character who didn’t really care to pay attention to what’s going on around him, but he’s rather perceptive and notices quite a bit. it’s a good deep dive into his character in my opinion and a good ‘breaking point’ into his character in the future too!

the short convo between the guards was just…wow…bc it’s kinda a reminder that not everyone working for the military is entirely a piece of crap? like some of them are also questioning the ethics and morality and stuff like that? idk i found that part pretty important :(((

that convo between the guards wasn’t in my first draft, and i actually didn’t end up adding it to the chapter until i was almost done writing the chapter. i think for most of the story we haven’t really seen the crew doing something ‘wrong’ or anything like that, and even tho they are criminals, we haven’t seen that from them. this look into the guards, people who are perceived to be ‘bad’ by the crew but ‘good’ from the public’s view... it was kind of a peek into morality and how that effects people as a whole. i think it’s super important for sure and it’ll come back around a lot more in the future :((

CORSET AND DRESS CAPTAIN JOONG YAYAYYAYAYA

CORSET AND DRESS CAPTAIN JOOOOOOOOOOONG

san did what in the past :(((((( my bby :((( it hurts to read about san’s past but it definitely shows more similarities between him and mc :(((

there are lots of things we don’t know about san tbh and there are lots of pieces of his past that are starting to fall together and come together and not all of them are happy and good :( he and mc definitely have a lot of similarities and parallels in who they are as characters, and we’ll see that more and more in upcoming chapters :(

captain joong going soft just a teeny bit?? :’))) we love to see it hehe though i am curious as to how san got that ring in the first place 👁👁 very suspicious and it also makes me more convinced that joong is a normie 🤨

teeeeeeeeny bit of softness on our joong :3 we know san is his soft spot for sure, and that’s his little ‘weakness’ in a way, and it’s the best way to peak into his softer side :(( very suspicious eh 👁👁🍿 inchresting inchresting 👁👁🍿

i didn’t even realise that jisung’s tampering with mc’s memories could affect her using her siren abilities :/// more of a reason for me to drop kick moc jisung into space

!!! this is definitely something that hasn’t been ~delved into~ a lot yet but the people who tampered with her brain and memories blocked off this whole section of memories about what she is and how she can even function as a siren :(

MC HOLY CRAP??????? SHE REALLY JUST RIPPED-OH MY GOD WHAT A WAY TO REDISCOVER YOUR CAPABILITIES FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WHILE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

JKDGJHKDJHKGJKHSDF the HIGHLIGHT (one of them) of the chapter, the heart ripping, this is something i cannot WAIT to get into :3

“how much would your pride suffer to admit that the only person holding you back from being open and honest with the people around you is yourself?” CALY THIS HURTS

IM SORRY IT HAD TO BE DONE </3

“who we are and what we are… why should either of those things be important in the face of trust?” I LOVE MOC SAN I LOVE HIM IK I USED TO SAY I WAS THE CAPTAIN OF THE MOC HWA X MC SHIP BUT-BUT THIS CHAPTER MUST JUST CONVINCE ME TO ABANDON SHIP BC THEYRE SO CUTE THE KISS AAAAAAAAA ;;;;;;; CALY COME BACK IM SO SAD

PLS </3 IM SO GLAD YOU CAME TO THE MOC SAN SHIP come here bestie i’ll hold u okay it’s GONNA BE OKAY ✋😔

#mists of celeste #moc: spoilers #🦔 anon

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tartagliaxx · 3 years

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ooo boy... man, that’s so sweet!! i’m thankful that everyone takes the time to check up on me or chat me up bc that really, really means a lot and it makes me super happy. i’m glad i have the same effect on you! and oml,, the ‘hey shawty’ thing made me laugh for no reason. and again, tysm!! ngl im kinda bitter i’m not going to be able to wear my robes but ig we cant win all the time.

i’m sorry paimon. you’re officially demoted to spare emergency food bc our main dish is childe :)

ok but,, man?? that whole story was a freaking ride. its like a rollercoaster that spins and twirls and does the circular rotation thing. first of all, congrats?? thats so many five stars + a c5 ningguang. c1 childe? c1 qiqi? jean?? man the gacha gods really went all out on you huh? the most mindblowing thing is that you got them so far from soft pity. man, that’s super ‘woah’ and im feeling so excited for you even if its been a while. i think if i was in your shoes i’d be on the floor wheezing bc,, its just that unreal. personally i have never gotten a five star before soft pity. at least, not before childe. im not saying we’re meant to be but thats exactly what im saying.

AHHHH I’M GLAD YOU LIKED THEM!! i don’t have a tiktok so no i havent heard of that but ugh maybe i should download it and find that vid bc i am very very interested. and yes! headcanons are super fun bc you hear so many ideas and you picture the image they had in their heads and you get to see a sneakpeak of how their brains perceive stuff. great stuff.

OH MY GOD AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. the whole bit about kaeya— ugh my lungs hurt askcjsllabxkla. ok but imagine it adorned with rings and he pushed his hair back during a break and you can just see how his fingers move and 🙈 watch me be youtube user kaeyasbigtoe but without the content bc the reveal hasnt been made yet /j

ugh guitarist boyfie childe— another one with pretty hands that are sm bigger than yours so when he holds you, you’re just enveloped in him and you can feel every vein, every ridge, every fleeting touch. and you feel it bc you’re so sensitive from the comforting feeling of his warmth. and he just gently brushes a ticklish spot on your neck bc he’s a tease and he knows you like how his fingers are a little rough from playing the guitar and hehehehehhe grrrr pls request this so i can brainrot properly

hmmmm it’s a shame indeed but that’s okay! just tell me when we’ll start and which movie we’ll do. we can alternate film suggestions ig? we dont have a film club so i have no idea what they do there but it sounds fun (and like im back in hs which is a little fun and nostalgic)

p-princess? the way my heart fluttered— it’s funny cause you always see me referring to everyone w nicknames but then i’m weak on the knees when someone reciprocates. what’s a quick way to my heart? call me by a sweet nickname and i am on my hands and knees for you <3 n e way,, ilyt and i hope you have a great rest of the day :)))

#lei.answers #withlove.🦋💞

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petekaos · 4 years

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hi so ive been studying thai cultures of sexuality and gender for my (kind of not really) college thesis and obviously my research had been little limited because of the lack of english papers on the subject (so !! if you're thai and LGBT+ PLS correct me) but one thing that i've been wrestling with in criticisms of this show is how people have rallied against wife/husband discourse because it feels like a very Eurocentric look at how people express their sexualities. (And +

this comes from someone who hates top/bottom + wife/husband gendering myself!) Thai conceptions of gender/sexuality don’t really fit into the categories of LGBT(+) as easily as believed, especially since the terms people used can often differ based on the sexuality and gender of WHO they’re attracted to and also on the presentation of gender rather than what people feel they are! +

(Also the word phet means both gender AND sexuality, meaning there is not often a distinction between gender/sexuality and boy can you tell I have nothing to do with my time) Which is oh my god confusing but to give an example, when gay was first introduced as an identity marker people began to refer to themselves as “gay kings” v “gay queens” based on which dude was the sexually receptive partner. +

Lesbians are also gendered in a similar format: “tom” tends to refer to butch lesbians (and can sometimes be seen as part of the overarching kathoey third gender) and “dee” refers to femme lesbians. To clarify, I am Indian-American and therefore would solidly punch someone in the face if they tried to classify me and my (nonexistent lol) partner as the “wife” v “husband,” +

especially when the roles you take in bed become an essential part of how you communicate your identity within the gay community. In the states, you can call yourself a lesbian without having to qualify how butch or how much of a top you are, in Thailand the words themselves inherently hold that connotation. Not saying its right, but there is cultural precedent that I think is interesting to explore in asking WHY this trope is so common. +

I know there have been certain shows that have had characters say that they are bi/gay (ie. Mean’s character from UWMA, Ohm’s character from HCTM) but these are not words that originated from Thailand itself, they are loan words from English. That’s not to say they’re invalid in any aspect, but that DOES say that while people who do fall into gay/bi categories may have existed, there was little/no direct translation for these words in thai until the 1960s. +

When gender and sexuality are not considered distinct categories but are rather all lumped under the term “phet,” it is therefore Hard in Thailand to lump people together as ie. Bi without having an additional sex and gender qualifier in the term. “Seua bai” (which means bi tiger and wtf why is that SO cool) refers to /masculine/ bi men, but seau bai are also not seen as completely male because, +

again, seau bai as a phet implies that they are not 100% phu chai - male - which really only refers to heterosexual men. SO while I would love to see tine/sarawat say that they are bi/gay, I’d also equally love for them to express that they are bi/gay with terms inherent to thai, bc I think that offers a really interesting perspective to int fans (and straight thai fans who are unaware) on how gender/sexuality can be different in other cultures. +

They could also offer criticism on these terms if they feel too narrow, which would be really valuable coming from thai writers/producers themselves. Anyway I thought this would be good food for thought, and if LGBT+ thai people have different perceptions PLEASE talk about it if you feel comfortable bc your experiences and knowledge are very valuable and appreciated! Hope this was interesting, sorry for all the spam! i love ur blog rahul -bear

ah thank you so much for this! i have been wondering about this as well recently as more east asians have been speaking up about sexuality and gender in their cultures and how that doesn’t coincide with how westerners express their sexuality and gender. i mean, there are terms that overlap (in indian culture, we have some of those as well, but then we also have hijra and thirunangai and thirunambi in tamil culture) but there are some words exclusive to thai culture specifically. this was great food for thought and i’ll be more careful in the future when it comes to expressing my thoughts on terms for sexuality in bl shows.

i think it would be really interesting to see these terms used and criticised, if need be, by actual thai lgbt writers and producers. it would be nice to see more of thai culture paid homage to in shows like these and to see the search for labels or terms that fit oneself, i know that has been hard for me personally considering english terms as well. the way we perceive gender and sexuality tends to be very eurocentric and sometimes we need to realise that we need to see things through a different lens and the influence of culture and society on the reason why a lot of these characters don’t use fixed english loan words to describe themselves. this was a super interesting read, thank you! i should have educated myself on it earlier as i got more into this fanbase, but thank you so much for coming along and providing us this information :’)

furthermore i think it would be interesting, as you said, to get input from actual lgbt thai people on this! so if you are lgbt and thai, feel free to send me an ask talking about your experiences and journey with terms and labels, both thai and english, if you feel the want to. y’all always have a platform here with me and i will try my best to provide my insight as well if asked or needed, be respectful, and listen! your knowledge and inputs are very much appreciated, especially when it comes to shows like these and the sometimes unfair criticism they get from people with a western-centric point of view.

thank you once again, my friend!

#super interesting read !! thank u for opening my eyes to this even when you didn't need to #bearsippingtea #rahul answers #ref #asian tag #mlm tag

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constantwritingblock · 4 years

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Stolen Worlds 1

Queen of Thieves: Takes place just after the MC breaks up with Nikolai.

Avengers: Takes place during The Winter Soldier, but with additional characters.

Unknown!Nick Fury x reader, (previous) Nikolai Stirling x reader, platonic!Natasha Romanoff x reader, (eventual) Steve Rogers x reader.

Things take a positive turn for Y/N’s mission to infiltrate Hydra, though when she meets a certain Captain America, of whom she’s not supposed to at all, will that complicate things if she lies about who she truly is? Or is Rumlow’s attraction towards her distracting enough?

Chapter One

Getting out of the Gilded Poppy was easier than expected if you don’t count the numerous calls and texts from them awaiting a response or a way to track her, thank god for signal jammers, while she transferred some necessary data and contacts she made on her adventure.

It came to even more of a surprise for her with Fury. “For a supposed dead man he sure has a lot of connections still.” Muttering to herself, she scuffled her way down to her newly found desk. Fury had managed to pull some strings for her to have a placement within the already infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D.and her mission was to infiltrate Hydra. This was going to be fun for her. Working as a computer techie had its perks, she wouldn’t be going back in the field, something she asked for. That was the only part of their deal Fury had no light behind, but nevertheless respected her wishes and privacy, for once.

Y/N has put up with the most toughest of enemies in the past, going as far as to having torture them for information or to weasle her way in undercover missions, she hadn’t anticipated a certain Brock Rumlow to take her bait so quickly. She needed to be stealthy and cautious, he could be on to her and that was something she did not want to happen. It had taken a few rough months to gain the trust of him and others from Hydra for them to start confiding in her of updates. The other part of her mission was to feed the information to Captain America and Romanoff without being caught, so anonymity was vital.

The duo, who were doing their own investigations and schemes had recruited a Sam Wilson onto their team. Y/N was getting very anxious with their side of things, though the trio had no idea who she was going by the alias of Agent Z; it had given them great mixture of distrust in her. Which she fully understood, how couldn’t she?

Sighing for the upteenth time that day, she ignored another one of Remy’s calls. The Gilded Poppy were not giving up on her, concerned if she was alright. Luckily she kept one of her older phones that she used when she was doing spy work for the Organisation. Shuddering at the thought of her old life, she attempted at brushing it off, she needed to focus. Meeting with Rumlow was something she was getting used to alongside the odd gropes, but this meeting was different, she was finally meeting Alexander Pierce. Fury had stated his suspicions of him being the one to set the hit out on him. Hopefully this gave her more insight into the Winter Soldier.

Y/N was tactful, her advances in technology were made known to him, so she was silently praying that it would be enough to allow for more access to any classified issues. As she approached the end of the long hallway, Y/N felt one of her shifts hit stronger than normal. Someone was behind her, subtly changing her pace, she prepared for the worse when an arm slithered its way onto her waist, sending a grimy squeeze on her right side. Rumlow. Hiding her disgust she gave him a thin smile in greeting as a mischievous grin reciprocated.

“You know, after this, perhaps we could finally get some time alone.” The suggestion did intrigue her, she wasn’t new to sleeping with someone on the job, but for the safety of herself and revealing her true self she battled against it. “How about, you can jack off to the vision of me actually sleeping with you?” With that, she strode forward, forcing his grasp off her body to slip as the door opened and they both stepped inside. Before Brock could argue further with her, the sight of Pierce’s back was daunting enough to challenge him. “Sir.” The double agent coughed. Turning around ever so slowly, Pierce had a rather striking appearance, but Y/N was using her chance to to analyse him. So he’s the big boss man… well, I suppose it fits… She’d never met Pierce but has heard of him, from some brief talks with Fury in the past with liaisons between S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Organisation. Again, stop thinking about that right now, you can’t fuck this up.

“Ah, so you must be the famous Agent Z. Agent Rumlow has spoken highly of you and your skills.” The older man had the nerve to smile at her and be polite. “I wouldn’t say my work is anything special, sir.”

Deciding to act all humble about it was a smart move, his eyes lit up. Great he wants someone to manipulate. Pierce chuckled, rather sinisterly, “Oh, sweetheart, don’t put yourself down. You’re the best I have seen in a long time and trust me, I’ve been working here for a long time. Now,” flicking a switch, he triggered the holographic computer screen to appear as well shut off all doors and windows, making the room completely safe from eavesdroppers and trapping Y/N, “let’s begin, shall we?”

Gesturing for her to sit down, she did so as Rumlow stood directly behind her chair. Gulping nervously, Y/N kept her thoughts at bay. “I want to introduce you to something that will further you to work for the best of the best. Have you ever considered… joining Hydra? Now, before you argue with me, I am aware you do have a criminal past… odd jobs here and there within mobs and gangs, then progressing yourself to change your tune, into a good citizen of life. But, when I saw your application process through to S.H.I.E.L.D., I knew that you can’t resist this kind of life.”

Taking deep breaths, it was a lot to take in, she was worried that he caught for her more physical resume. All of her work for those mobs and gangs did underlay that she was doing hacking jobs for them. “Yes, sir… I guess you must have seen right through my lie there, I just… I didn’t know how to grab the attention.”

“My dear, you have caught mine. What would you say to assisting me in making the world a better place?”

—

Stopping at a coffee house, Y/N couldn’t resist the urge to sigh. She needed a break from everything. Luckily for her, she was granted a day off, something she thought would’ve been rejected given her area of expertise was close to what Hydra wanted. Pierce has probably allowed this to rope me in further. Distracted by her own thoughts, she hadn’t noticed a blond gentleman asking if the seat before her was free. Blinking up at the man, she noted the gentle, genuine smile that crawled on his lips. Returning a smile of her own she allowed him to take the seat, finally realising how quickly the coffee shop had filled. I need to focus… though her thoughts said so, the man before her thought otherwise.

He kept a conversation flowing, apologising if he had disturbed her from her work, then beginning to question on what she was doing. “I don’t mean to disturb you, but the look on your face is quite a sight ma’am.” He chuckled.

Shaking herself out of focus she fixed her attention on the blond, instant panic swept her. Shit, does he know who I am? Fuck fuck fuck, stay calm. “Ah, sorry, got a lot of uni work to catch up on. It’s hell.” Smiling and nodding along playfully she played along to his antics. “I bet it is. I’m Steve, what’s your name?”

Her eyes widened in horror as she finally took a moment to look at him. Shit, Captain America is right in front of me...

—

“You what? How on this damned earth could you have bumped into him Y/L/N!?” Fury’s voice resonated through the practically empty apartment she had supplied for him. The former director began pacing, almost wearing out his shoes and the floorboards beneath him.

“Well, it’s not as if I knew that was gonna happen Fury? Besides he didn’t recognise me and I gave an alias to him, so be glad I was able to think quick on my feet. What I want to know though, is why I can’t tell Captain Rogers that I am their mole in their little operation.”

“I can’t risk having anything happening to you. Let’s put it that way and it doesn’t help when you don’t want to be in the field and be stuck behind a screen all day.”

—

“Let me get this straight Rogers, you gave a stranger your actual name and just hoped she wasn’t Hydra?!” Natasha was not one to irritate, Steve learnt this quick, but now he had to face her wrath.

“Nat, I doubt she was Hydra. There was something about her…” He could already predict the scoff that slipped out of the woman’s mouth seconds later. “Listen, if this gets back to me badly, I’ll take the fall for it. Besides, you’re the one that wanted me to get back into the dating game. I can’t really lie to her and then tell her the truth when everything’s over.”

She knew he was right but she couldn’t go back and change the past. “Alright, but I’m telling you, anything bad happens because of this, then we’ll be royally fucked.”

—

Y/N was getting to a breaking point already. She was a bit rusty with this however, there’s too much violence for her liking. At least phase two was done for her. Though as she got to work and proved herself over and over, secretly storing information she perceived as valuable to taking them down, she couldn’t help but miss watching Zoe doing all the hacking things.

It gave her a break for certain, she wasn’t heavily relied on for the things she used to do and is currently doing now compared to when she was living the life of infamous luxury. But she did miss it. The image of Zoe tapping away on her phone when they were out and about, moving the cameras from seeing them as a group as they all pranced, planning or celebrating. The look on his face as he smiled at her, fingers slipping into her own, muttering something about not wanting to lose her from her excitedness.

A soft expression played itself onto her face as she daydreamed her now old life. Though it didn’t last long as the sound of a thud as coffee was placed on her desk rather abruptly, causing her to jump. “Looks like you could do with it.”

Rumlow. Again. The man had practically not left her side since, as if she was something he needed to protect. It made Y/N grimace at the thought of him wanting to do more with her, but she was glad that there were some rules that kept him from doing so, didn’t mean that he didn’t keep his distance. The only alone time she could grab alone time was when he had to deal with The Winter Soldier. From that, she managed to complete the USB stick to stash in a vending machine, in the hospital where Fury’s body lay. She almost got caught by a woman with reddish hair. She’d rather not have anyone know her identity or even recruit her to help with such physical tasks of anything. Preferring to play behind a screen, doing all the cleaner work, allowing the others to get their hands dirty.

The last thing Y/N needed was for her name to smudged once more. Her work had been proven useful for Hydra, no one had to question her anymore, though she doubt they would with Rumlow spreading that she’s ‘his girl’. It helped her get promoted to The Winter Soldier project eventually and that was when shit got real for her. Captain America’s best friend is the Winter Soldier. It was a simple search online, but that made her uneasy with how she could tread with this information.

Steve Rogers. He had a good physique and for a man that was rumoured to be unable to talk to women, he held his own quite well. She never expected for the next events to happen. It was all so sudden, plus she had barely even met the guy and she was already growing a crush. I guess that’s what happens when you literally watch from the sidelines to ensure the plan is going accordingly...

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midoriyaizukustan-inactive · 4 years

Text

*clears throat* *pulls up powerpoint* *shuffles speaker notes*

okay kids strap in this is gonna be long probably. im gonna add a read more so hopefully that works, otherwise i am,,so sorry,,

w that lets begin

so. lets start w the basics

season 1: didnt like him. really didnt like him. i have Issues w suicide as a topic in general so when he baited midoriya he lost any fondness i couldve had towards him. then his actions durnig the battle training? hes a fcukin maniac. but i enjoyed learning more abt him as a character so whatever. i thought his confrontation w midoriya in the aftermath of that was,,interesting

season 2: still dont like him, but his eventual coming arnd during the final exam made me more open to him. also sports festival was,,,interesting, ig. i thought it was interesting how he wouldnt accept the win; if he was the same character he was in season 1, he wouldve taken it, i feel like. but he didnt. so hey, growth smwh

season 3: i thought i didnt like him, but then he got kidnapped and i got a case of the shakes(tm) until he was rescued. i rlly vibed w midoriya screaming and crying while he was kidnapped. cut to the provis license exam:

(excuse my crying abt aoyama lmao)(and also the fact that i used to call bakugou “bakugon” yes i know thats not his name yes i did that bc i didnt like him and i think im funny as shit). then,,,the scene. kacchan v. deku 2. uhh i was vibing w him honestly. hes a mood,,,regrettably,,,until he beat midoriya at least

season 4 (so far): pls stop yelling, regrettably relatable gremlin

now lets dive into what all that means huh

i dislike bakugou for the following reasons.

- suicide-baited midoriya. not only that, but he tormented him for years simply because he couldn’t get over his own private feelings; midoriya did nothing to deserve his scorn. literally nothing.

- beyond even that, is still a prick to most everyone he meets; he’s short and irritated and won’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt (at least not as first).

- even now, he still has issues giving respect or even just being decent to both people he knows and people he doesn’t.

- speaking of, he has never ever apologized for his previous actions. not even after he finds out he’s wrong (like when midoriya tells him he never, ever, looked down on him). he hasnt even really apologized via action rather than words if you wanna try that route with me. he might be better than he was, but he refuses to acknowledge that he was ever wrong in the first place and thats not functional

- hes so focused on “winning” as a concept. it doesnt matter if youre supposed to be an ally to him; if he perceives you as being in his way, he’ll do his damnedest to fucking destroy you. he has few genuinely heroic qualities (not to say he has few good qualities, just few heroic ones); hes just strong and determined, but he’s a case study of how those qualities can be twisted as all fucking hell

- hes so proud. he is s o fucking proud. he has such an issue with pride that i cant fucking handle it sometimes man

i like bakugou for the following reasons.

- he has grown. he might not have said anything to anyone about it, but he has grown as a person since the series started

- he does have morals and he sticks to them. they might be basic things such as “dont be a villain” but theyre. something and he stands by them. hes not a slimy snake is what im saying

- hes funny. when he isnt actively bringing others down, i actually enjoy the screentime he has, bc its really funny, esp when he’s interacting w his friends and theyre having visible fun messing arnd w him

- this particular reason is hard to phrase so let me just. try and word vomit it correctly. i didnt expect him to be capable of blaming himself for smth like all might’s retirement. but he was and i,,,it adds layers to his character that i appreciate a lot. so its not that i like that he feels guilty abt it, but what it means for his character

- his interactions with kirishima. its proof that he’s learning how to be better, slowly but surely, and how to care about others properly. its sweet, genuinely and wholeheartedly

- hes not always rewarded by the narrative, and that makes him much more human to me, which i really appreciate. the biggest example i can think of is that he didn’t pass his provisional license exam on the first try. i think he’s gonna have a low point eventually, but hopefully, from there, he tries to build his way out into a better life as a better person

yeah

its just...very complex. he reminds me of myself, or at least a person i used to be. he actually reminds me of a couple combinations of ppl i used to be; just like bakugou, ive had smth similar to both a superiority and an inferiority complex in the past so its djkfjkdjnk,,,regrettably relateable,,,,,,not at the same time like he does but yknow the feeligns and how they clash are still there

but yeah. its bc he reminds me of myself i both hate him and like him.

like he reminds me of aspects abt myself i h a t e. i have issues w pride, i used to be a huge jerk (not to the degree he was, thank god, but i have a conscious now so when im reminded of how i used to be in like elementary school, i feel ashamed and since bakugou hasnt fucking,,,acknowledged,,the abuse he put midoriya through yet,,i get angry with him)

and the one guilt episode we saw him have reminded me of a very dark time in my life (2016) and its just. oh no. so thats where the anger fizzles out because i cant hate that more than i just feel pity abt it

in contrast, its bc he reminds me of things i hate abt myself that i have high hopes for him. i crawled out of the hole i was in; i made it through the stages of being a prick and then being thrust into a guilt-induced depression. im certainly not a good person, but im much better than i was

so just,,im already proof that ppl can change, but,,,,if i had a character to cling to when doubt came creeping in, i think that wouldve be great. i know im not the only one that feels like this. if bakugou can make the right turnaround, i think he could mean a lot to a bunch of people, me included

obviously the turnaround would have to be done right (and he better fucking beg for midoriya’s forgiveness) but i have hope that it can be

he has a long way to go, both in action and in word. but i am hopeful for his development. he reminds me of many things i hate about myself, but also to push on despite those things. my feelings about him are complicated due to that

yea. heres my book report sir djknkjnsknfjkn

#idk if this is very coherent but oh well #i love him i hate him i have such high hopes for him-#jkdjkd #c makes a word #textpost #bakugo katsuki

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wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey · 4 years

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MONICA YOU LOVED MANIC TOO??!?!? I'm overjoyed because I've only spoken to one (1) other person who really loved it & I feel so relieved, somehow, that you love it since you're the BEST OF US and what YOU love always gets right to the heart of a thing or a story. ANYWAY. Finally // and I Hate Everybody are my absolute favorites, and don't you think this album is like Ashley's version of Lover??? it's her most honest, and maybe lowest but also sweetest and steadiest album. I'M IN LOVE

YES YES YES YES YES I AM SOOO EXCITED YOU LOVE IT WILL YOU BE MY MANIC BUDDY *SINGS IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND WHO LOVES HALSEY*

also thank you sincerely and seriously so much for the glowing shoutout

#WONDER WOMAN SPEAKS MY HEART AND ALSO THIS IS SURPRISINGLY (?) RELEVANT TO THE ONCOMING STORM OF AN ESSAY

before I go any further I want to inform you I am drinking hot chocolate and Bailey’s out of my Batman/Catwoman mug and I still have Christmas lights up. This is not relevant to the following essay but I just thought you should know

I should start the essay shouldn’t I

First of all, I LOVE what you say about this being Ashley’s version of Lover. Both are a...finding of self, more or less complete. This isn’t to say that Taylor’s journey is over—she still has a lot of life and song left to fight through and to enjoy—but by the last words of “Daylight,” it seems to me that through all her struggles, she has finally discovered how to be gentle with herself and how to light her world.

I want to be defined by the things I love,

Not the things I hate

Not the things I am afraid of, I’m afraid of,

The things that haunt me in the middle of the

night, I

I just think that you are what you love.

In Lover, through Lover, by Lover, Taylor is whole again in her soul, and being thus whole and free, her future is quietly hopeful—even in the reality of the sorrowful “Soon You’ll Get Better” (which I still cannot listen to because it wounds my heart). I cannot imagine what she will do next, for she has the most expansive possibilities ahead of her.

Going back to Ashley, or Halsey, well, I can say nothing so clear about Manic other than that it aches. It aches because the whole thing is a confession. It is a spilling out of herself, all her hurts and frustrations and failures and most importantly the confusion of it all that lasts till this day and may last many more. Somehow, somewhere, in all this mess, I feel that by the end of the album, Ashley has found a grain of peace. She is still searching, still longing for things she maybe doesn’t even understand, but she understands herself, and, I hope, understands in a small way that it is okay to be in a state of longing and aching and messing up and trying again.

I’m sleepy so I’m not sure I am being coherent or cohesive, forgive me. I’m just going to say a few things about my favorite songs!

“Ashley.” So this wasn’t the first song I listened to, because of the singles released earlier. But how powerful is it that Halsey opens up with her name? There is nothing I like better than an album that tells a story (surprise!) and the instant I saw the track listing, I was shook.

Seems like now it's impossible to work this outI'm so committed to an old ghost townIs it really that strange if I always wanna change?And if only the time and space between us wasn't lonelyI'd disintegrate into a thousand piecesI think I'm making a mistakeBut if I decide to break, who will fill the empty space?

This verse—I don’t know if it is just where I am in my own life, but really, who hasn’t felt this strange rending of desires in some capacity. Cling to the past? Leap toward the unknown? I want to live near my parents forever, and see my mom every Sunday like I have for years now. I want to live in a foreign country, or even out near my old college, or heck even live in a city for year or six months, just because it would be an Experience. (Couldn’t live there indefinitely, not this girl who loves endless trees and hills and warm summer night country roads and rustling corn.)

How do we know what to do? How do we decide? What if we get left alone, with no one to comfort and support us? What if we cannot handle the consequences of our choices?

Apart from my beating heartIt's a muscle but it's still not strong enoughTo carry the weight of the choices I've madeI told you I'd ride this outIt's getting harder every day somehowI'm bursting out of myself

LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT IT! I DARE YOU TO SAY THIS IS NOT A UNIVERSAL EMOTION. THIS IS WHAT THE ALBUM WILL BE ABOUT SO IF YOU CANNOT OPEN YOUR HEART AND BE PREPARED TO FEEL EMPATHY AND COMPASSION FOR THE YOUNG WOMAN WHO IS ABOUT TO SPILL HER GUTS TO YOU THEN GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

Ahem, I’m sorry, please stay, I don’t actually want you to go. Just sit down and I’ll give you your own hot chocolate. But listen. Ashley is, before anything, a human being. Therefore, she is going to mess up, just the same as any of us, maybe more, maybe less, but that is never going to take away a speck of her intrinsic worth, or the way that God loves her. Her struggles will not obliterate her humanity, but if I ignore her sorrows, her need for something more, her brilliance and strength and longing to love, then I would nigh obliterate my own.

Also, can I just say she has gone through some REALLY hard things in her life, things I couldn’t imagine, and for her to be where she is now—I just want the best for her. Do I agree with everything she does or believes? No. Is my life at all similar to hers? Not really. But I still feel a kinship with her, and it bleeds through in her music.

This is getting away from me isn’t it. I’m just trying to say that Manic struck a chord in my heart that has been reverberating ever since I first perceived it.

Oh gosh it is 12:30, I have to be up at 6. I’m going to fly through a few other songs and then you can message me about the rest or something 😊

“Clementine” has such color, doesn’t it? Also the line about her wondering what it’s like to be the blood in her veins—I love it!

“Graveyard” with the thing you love the most being the detriment—not going to lie, this is a story song for me, it fits into the Gold Rush Silmarillion AU I am co-authoring. Feanor and his own pride, Maedhros and half the people he loves, Fingon and Maedhros—the list could go on.

“You should be sad” and “More” gutted me because I had only just learned she has endometriosis, and has experienced a miscarriage before.

“Forever...(is a long time)”:

It's a nice surprise knowing six feet highWould reach and grab the moon if I should ask

Or just imply that I want you to be more lightSo I could look inside his eyesAnd get the colors just right

And

What am I thinking? What does this mean?How could somebody ever love me?

Self-doubt and questioning one’s ability to be loved ☹

“Without Me” gets stuck in my head and I LOVE IT I SING IT.

Found you when your heart was brokeI filled your cup until it overflowedTook it so far to keep you close (Keep you close)I was afraid to leave you on your own

Is there anything more painful than giving all of yourself to someone, loving them so much that you do anything to help them heal—and then all they do is hurt you.

“Finally// beautiful stranger” I’m ashamed to say the first time I listened to it I wasn’t paying attention and so I was like eh it’s fine. THEN I LISTENED TO IT AGAIN. WHY IS THIS SONG HALSEY’S “ENCHANTED” (I can probably explain this, but just after I’ve had sleep)

“killing boys” there are a lot of things I could say about this song but the main thing I want to say is if there was a song that is ME regarding the sound of it only, it is this one. When she sings “you don’t need me anymore” and “I don’t need you anymore” OOH IT GETS ME IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

Also

Told me pick my battles and be picking 'em wiseBut I wanna pick 'em all and I don't want to decideNo more, no more, anymore

THIS IS THAT TUMBLR THING “MY MOM LIKES TO TELL ME ‘YOU HAVE TO PICK YOUR BATTLES’ WELL I’M FULL OF RAGE AND I’M PICKING ALL OF THEM”

ALSO ALSO GETTING INTO THE LYRICS THIS IS HER MOVING ON, THIS IS HER DECISIVELY SAYING NO THIS NOT RIGHT THIS IS HARMFUL TO ME I AM DONE. AND FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS EXPRESSED UNCERTAINTY AND DIFFICULTY MAKING DECISIONS, IT SO GOOD TO SEE HER MAKE A HEALTHY CHOICE FOR HERSELF

“Suga’s Interlude:” LOOK YOU LOVE BTS TOO SO I’M SURE YOU KNOW THE STORY OF HOW IT CAME TO BE AND YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT BTS AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH HALSEY BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE READERS LET ME SUM UP

Halsey did a collaboration with BTS called “Boy with Luv” and it shook the charts and is wonderful and I love it. Not only did they create that song though, but she flew out to South Korea and learned the dance choreography so that she could sing and dance in the song’s music video. This was the beginning of a beautiful, cross-language, cross-cultural friendship that has involved friendship bracelets, churros, a personalized microphone, and mutual teasing.

Anyway, Halsey had been really impressed with BTS member Suga, saying “Yoongi is really introspective and has this really intelligent perspective on where we are and what we are doing in our unique lifestyles.” She also was moved by the hard work and sacrifices he (and his fellow band members) have made. Anyway, she asked Suga to write and sing a song with her. He was initially surprised, saying that he can’t rap in English. Halsey, gem that she is, was like bro, pls rap in Korean, that would be awesome. Pardon me for copying half the lyrics for this song but to me it is pivotal in Manic as a whole:

I’ve been trying all my lifeTo separate the timeIn between the having it allAnd giving it up, yeah...

Here is the conflict and strife that Halsey has dealt with all her life—there is fear of loss there, and also fear of what one has. The power it has over you. The way things might go wrong.

I believe your faith, efforts, beliefs, and greed,are not hideous...Although the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest,Never forget that the stars that you wish for,can only rise within the dark...

Suga reminding himself, Halsey, and us to cling to hope, ragged and worn, even in the most difficult of times. Also—in the face of our insecurities and self-recrimination for the goals we set—he tell us that our deepest parts are valid

If I run endlessly towards the end of the tunnel,what will there beIt’s true, it’s honestly differentfrom the future that I had hoped forBut it doesn’t matter, now it’s a matter of living/survivingIt doesn’t matter what happenedYeah yeah it might bedifferent from the things that you expectedYour living and your loving might changeThat’s true That’s true That’s trueYeah so are you gonna moveWe’re still too youthful and young to hesitateLet’s face it (our lives)...

This, this verse is so important. Look back at the song “Ashley”, particularly the lines I already quoted. Indecision because the fear of what might be, of what failure could do, wrecking her worse than ever, with no one to help her. Indecision because of a nostalgia that might be bitter or softly sad, what was past was at least known. It was good perhaps, it was awful more likely. But it was gotten through. There is no guarantee that Halsey will be able to get through whatever the future holds. But Suga comes in here, having faced struggles similar at their core, and he embodies the Nike slogan. Just DO IT. Don’t hold yourself back. Don’t let yourself drown, stuck in sinking mud. Embrace the unknown. If you let fear hold you back, you are as good as dead. There will be no growth, no hope battling through the dark for something better. You have to MOVE! And maybe you were right, things will never be the same, or the way you want it to be, but MAYBE THE DIFFERENT WILL BE BETTER!!!

Anyway, this section really should have been its own essay, because I’m still not done with it. You may have noticed I have been calling them Halsey and Suga, and the song is indeed called “Suga’s Interlude” but this song is so deep and personal to them both, it feels wrong to use their stage names. This is Ashley speaking, this is Yoongi speaking. Halsey posted a cute, stick figure drawing as artwork for the song, and the two singers are pictured there—and named as Ashley and Yoongi. This song is not just a collaboration by two talented artists, this is a look into the souls of a woman and a man who’ve shed blood, sweat, and tears to become the people they are. This intimacy fits the whole theme of the album so well, I LITERALLY CANNOT

I am so sorry I will move on now. It is 2:00 am. I need to go to bed. I am not. I need to talk about 929.

Well first let me say that “Still Learning” is also super important to the theme of the album.

I know that I've done some wrongBut I'm trying to make it rightDid the one I love do me wrong?Give me up right now

I know that I love you but I'm still learningTo love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)I'm still learning to love myself (to love my, to love my, to love my)

She has made confessions and declarations and sung her frustration, and now she is moving forward. The road may be long and hard, but she is moving forward. I had something else to say but I forgot it sorry.

And NOW

929!!!!

This song miiiiight be my favorite on the album, not sure. My heart trembles and I get chills listening to it, because the music and her voice are so gentle and soothing but the lyrics are essentially a list of moments that have been needles and knives to Ashley, all her fears revealed, that she wasn’t enough then and she isn’t enough now, that the girl with the pink hair lied when she said that everyone needed Ashley. It’s a soft confession, a stream of consciousness, so it was written and so I hear it. And in this moment, how can I not love her? How can I not cry for her, for me, for anyone and everyone who struggles with self-worth, with being wanted, with being loved, with loving, with forgiving self and others?Halsey is flawed, and I just want to give her extra love because of that.

But you know what? I think she is going to be ok.

This is where I want to go back and compare Manic to Lover. There is this knowledge of the self, a kind of peace with who one is. I don’t mean that either Taylor or Ashley have reached their pinnacle of self, but they see themselves a little more clearly, and are not suppressing that knowledge.

929 sounds like water gently pouring out of a pitcher into a basin, and water, properly placed, does not drown but gives life. There is hope by the end of this song, hope despite her difficult life, hope despite the fact that she was never even telling the truth about her time of birth. (That story could be a despairing one, the “I’m a fucking liar” could be the miniscule mistake that breaks her after all the rest of her mistakes, but instead...I don’t know she just sounds kind of amused, like even if she is disappointed or upset about it, there is still this “oh well, whatever, can’t believe that happened lol” to her voice and laughter. She knows who she is now, and there is a better woman she might be, but she is not angry with herself for being who she is, and she will move forward, letting go of her ghost towns and all her fears.

Let me end with a quote about 929: “I just start spilling all of my thoughts about myself and my fans and my family, and I admit so many faults and flaws all in one go. It’s forgiving, however, it ends with the acknowledgment that I am learning and growing, minute by minute.”

Ashley, like Taylor, is making a new start. They have both found a sort of daylight, and though there may always be shadows, I really really hope that they will know mostly sun, and spread it around for others.

ALSO I JUST REALIZED I COULD NOW BE SOMEONE’S MANIC PIXIE DREAMGIRL :D

*Disclaimer: I AM SO FREAKING TIRED I AM GOING TO BED, THIS WHOLE THING IS ENTIRELY UNEDITED, ALSO I LEFT SOME SONGS OUT OOPS WELL TWO OF THEM I DON’T CARE FOR AS MUCH BUT I THINK I FORGOT 3 AM WHICH I DO LIKE BUT I AM NOT GOING BACK TO WRITE ABOUT IT NOW. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE RAMBLING MESS AND LACK OF ELOQUENCE BUT HERE WE BE THIS IS WHAT YOU GET HOPE IT MADE YOU SMILE

#halsey #manic #taylor swift #lover #madamescarlette #eden you know I will want to hear your thoughts #which will be so much more well-written then mine lol #asks #<3 <3 <3

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targentis · 4 years

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wait wait how did you realise you kinned Descole? also how is it like realising you kin a character in general

this is my favorite story to tell oh my god thank you for asking. DFGFDGHS this is going to get really long im sorry

okay so mind you i just kin willy-nilly nowadays but Descole was only like...my second kin ever. so i was being really PICKY. at the time i only kinned Joker from Persona 5 and i was trying to keep it that way. i was like unfortunately i am a kinnie..............and i have one kin. what a fool i was.

luke @kirbapy and i had just become friends at that point, and i reblogged one of his pl posts. and he was like “wait do u know what pl is?” and i was like “oh yeah my mom and i used to be into it back in the day” and one day he just said like “ok im gonna kin assign you someone from pl.” and he gave me a whole list of people (i think Clive, Descole, and Randall?) and i was like cool i dont remember who any of these people aRE HGHDHD

one thing i DID remember, though, was watching Eternal Diva and LOVING IT when i was a kid so i was like hey...we should watch Eternal Diva together. cause you know. that was back when rabb.it was still alive..............

so luke and i watched Eternal Diva, and god please don’t make fun of me but i thouGHT I KINNED OSWALD AT FIRST. idk Composer Brain said that bitch who composed this opera is Me. composer brain was WRONG because the minute Descole started talking i just. i Felt It. i am not sure how to explain it but it’s the exact same feeling i used to get when looking at Joker, where like, ur heart starts palpitating and youre like Well This Seems Familiar and youre kinda like !!!!!??!?! yeah that’s what i decided to pin down as the kinnie feeling. tbh i havent felt this feeling about anyone else in a long time idk this is why i say Des is my only real kin now FDGHDFHG

i didn’t actually accept that i kinned him right away even AFTER all that i was still like “oh I don’t kin Descole, JOKER does.” but here’s the thing, dude. i have memories. i have So. Many. Memories from my Des canon. i cannot say the same for any of my other kins FGHDFHFG AND. AND!! i had kinnie dreams from as far back as 2017 (and those are only the ones i wrote down)!! like...i dreamt about the lighthouse in San Grio, and that airship chase scene, and the lift in the Obsidian Tower...just to name a few. OH and one of the Masked Gentleman’s miracles too. and i recalled Raymond by name from a few recurring dreams too--mind you, i didn’t even know the 3D pl games EXISTED until this year. so. idk man, my only explanation for all this is that I’m Descole.

god i could talk about this all day. there’s just. so much here. i’m sorry this ran on for so long dfhghdhfh i knew it would. this is barely scraping the surface too like i just...there are identifying details about my Des specifically that luke drew years before he met me, and there are just so many things i do and say that make sense by viewing it through the lens of I’m Descole.........and tbh? i just really like being Descole. lmao! it’s true! im trans so i know what gender euphoria is like but there is also a similar euphoria that comes from being perceived as that masked bastard. hence my. name. and no before anyone gets on my ass about this im NOT equating being trans to being a kinnie im just saying the feeling is similar DFHGHDFHFFH god okay ill stop talking now soRRY ADKGJDFHSGJ thanks for this epic question ily jak

#beneath the ask #im gonna tag this as #fave #because this is my favorite question.#thank you jak #i would pay ppl to ask me about kinnie hshit tbh

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fuckingthefictional · 5 years

Note

Hi! I love your writing ❤️ I was wondering if you could pretty please write a one shot where Reggie finds out his girlfriend is abused by her father (if you don’t feel comfortable writing this I completely completely understand 💕) and he stepped in and basically saves her from her own home? Pls?❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️

Broken Home

A/N- Okay I want to make this clear, I’m not romanticising abuse in any way. It is such a shitty thing and I’ve seen what it can do to people both mentally and physically. If you as a person are affected by this, Please remember that you are not alone! You have people who care about you. There are people and places to reach out to. I have also never been abused by my parents- like the ‘y/n’ in this fic. I have tried to research and make this as realistic as possible. Because there is absolutely no reason to sugar coat anything related to this topic.

M a s t e r l i s t

Reggie Mantle was never perceived as particularly academically gifted. That was for the most part, true. But that didn’t mean that he didn’t notice things.

After his dad left him and his mom, he had a tendency to look out for others in a situation similar to his own. For the people who silently suffered and endured all the pain that they didn’t deserve.

Abuse was something Reggie was familiar with. He’d perfected the art of lying to his peers at school about the bruises that were constantly being littered across his skin. Saying that they were from football practice.

The messed up thing was that he couldn’t confide in anyone, because he would just be told that he was weak, that he needed to just man up to his dad. That it wasn’t real abuse.

So he went through it alone. Something he’d never let anyone go through alone.

Most people in Riverdale knew Reggie as the “stupid, rich football player”, he saw himself as the weak, pathetic boy who couldn’t stand up to his own father.

Y/N hadn’t though, Y/N could see right through the wall he put up to protect himself. Because she had the same defense mechanism. The same wall that protected her from the judgement of everyone in this shitty, little town.

Riverdale- the town that created psychotic killers and abusive parents. The town that was the reincarnation of hell. The place of suffering.

More often than not, Y/N found that sleep was the only way to escape. Even if it was for a few minutes, it was an escape from everything that she was forced to endure when she was awake.

“Where’s the little bitch gone?!” A slurred voice rang out, the crashing of glass following soon after.

Y/N felt her heartbeat spike in fear, Her mother was the worst when she was drunk. She got physical and violent.

Y/N immediately scarpered to the wardrobe and climbed in, she felt her body shake and her throat tighten. Her arms wrapped around her knees in an attempt to get some sort of comfort.

The sound of her Mother’s stomping footsteps came closer.

“Y/N,” the last syllable of the name dragged on, “Where are you?"

Y/N felt the tears start to form, but was determined to keep her hiding place a secret. That was until the sounds of her possessions hitting every other hard surface hit her ears.

She let out a small whimper, when she felt what she assumed to be glass hit the wardrobe door.

It was then when the door was ripped open and Y/N was dragged out, sobbing and crying out for mercy.

“Mom! Stop please stop!”

She felt pain coursing through her veins, and the vague shouts of her to “shut up!” She felt disoriented and scared.

Y/N’s body was thrown down onto the floor, down into a pile of glass debris. She felt nothing but pain. Hot, searing pain.

Before blacking out she saw the hazy figure of her mother, towering above her imposingly. She felt dissociated like she was watching from the outside. She watched despairingly with tears welling up in her eyes as her mother threw one final kick to Y/N’s ribs and spat down on her, before she finally lost consciousness.

She woke up to the generic hospital smell, the beeping of the monitor and the blinding white walls of what she assumed to be the local hospital.

The first feeling that Y/N felt rise in her was panic. Or more specifically what the hell her Mother would do to her when she was released.

She would be so angry and so undeniably pissed. And the beatings would be ten times worse that usual, and it scared her. She felt trapped, like she had no other option than to endure the pain.

The beeping of the monitor became more rapid and quick paced. Y/N was getting even more anxious- she didn’t want to answer questions on how these injuries had occurred.

Instead it alerted a sleepy person sat in an uncomfortable looking chair, in the corner of her room. He immediately bolted up right, panic clear in his eyes too.

He was tall, muscular and Y/N would be lying if she said she didn’t think he was handsome. He had somewhat tanned skin and raven hair that had obviously not been attended to for a few day. Reggie Mantle.

The star football player, took small steps forward trying to show that he wasn’t going to hurt her.

“W-Why are you h-h-here Mantle?”

“It was my turn to return the favour.”

Y/N’s brows furrowed in confusion, her face prompted Reggie to explain what he meant.

“I know you called the cops on my dad Y/N.”

She felt her heart stop and her face heat up, “I-I-” Y/N stuttered, “I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t. Don’t apologize. I’m glad you did it. Y/N you saved my life.”

“You know my name?” Her head cocked to the side. All she got in return was the classic Mantle smirk.

“See you around...Y/N.”

Reggie didn’t know what to do. He felt conflicted on what he should do. Should he report whoever did this to Y/N? Should he keep an eye on her? Or should he just forget it all?

He thought back to when he was in the same position, how he wished someone would intervene and save him.

And as unmasculine it sounded- he remembered fearing for his life. He thought that he would be caught by his father and punished for trying to get some support.

So what did he do?

He’d try his best.

For the next few weeks you’d noticed Reggie’s behaviour becoming...different. He hovered around more, watching you as if he was trying to figure something else. Whether there were any new marks lashed on you probably.

In all honesty you hadn’t been back home since the ‘incident’, instead you chose to stay with a friend on the Southside.

You were so sick and tired of this abuse. You wanted to turn in your mother. You wanted to leave Riverdale and never come back. But you were scared, a coward.

You knew that your ‘mother’ would hunt you down and kill you, if you got her arrested and you wouldn’t put it past her to do something as horrific as that.

Cut to a few months later and Reggie was still at a loss of what to do. So he did the only thing he could think of. Asking his Mom for advice.

He walked into the living room to see his mother sat on the couch, glasses on and book in hand. Completely in her own little world.

“Mom.”

She looked up and smiled at her boy, but it fell once she saw the sad look on his face.

“Reggie Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” She placed the book aside and opened her arms for him to hug her and gain some comfort.

“I need your advice Mom, I don’t know what to do anymore.”

She sat the both of them down and sighed deeply, “What’s going on Reg?”

Reggie rubbed a hand across his face, “There’s this girl and I know she’s being abused. Like badly abused. The same girl I visited in hospital a few months ago- and I don’t know what to do.”

His mom smiled sympathetically, “What’s her name?”

“Y/N.”

“The same Y/N that turned in your-“

“Yes.” The simplicity and finality in his voice was heard.

“What I was going to say was that, she saved our lives. She ended the one thing that gave me the most pain in my life. Which was watching you get beaten down every single day. I am forever in her debt and I will do anything to help her, even if that means she lives under our roof for a short while.”

Reggie nodded, it needed to happen. This needed to end.

The next thing he did was called the Sherrif’s office in town, anonymously tipping off that something was happening at the Y/L/N residence and that he was concerned as a neighbour.

About 2 hours later a fast paced knocking sounded on the door. Reggie and his Mother were locked in a gaze. The footballer creeped towards the door, paranoid that it may be trouble. He counted to three and yanked the door open.

Only to see... Y/N, sopping wet from the torrential downpour outside. She was sobbing hysterically and shivering uncontrollably. There were red patches of what he could only assume was blood on her shirt.

“Y/N?”

She stumbled clumsily into his arms, her breath becoming a spurt of hyperventilated gasps.

Reggie turned back to where his mom was around the corner.

“Mom! Come quick!”

He immediately heard the quick paced steps on the wooden flooring, a gasp was heard.

“Oh god. Reggie take her to the couch, I’m going to get a first aid kit.”

He complied to his mothers words, swooping you up into his arms. He felt you bury yourself in the crook of his neck. Your hot breath caused goosebumps to pop up all over his skin.

“Y/N, you need to tell me what happened. Okay? Can you do that for me?”

“S-She did it a-again. She b-beat me... b-but this t-t-time she went t-too far and she tr-tried to s-stab me. Her new b-boyfriend t-tried to f-force himself-” Reggie watched as you wiped your tears away, his shirt was soaked with tears but he didn’t care.

“She succeeded b-barely, I only j-just got c-cut. And then the p-po-police showed up and a-arrested her. And now I’m h-here I guess.”

Her teeth were chattering, she was freezing.

“How did you know where I liv-“ he was cut off.

“I didn’t. I just ran and this is were my feet took me. And now I’m homeless and worthless and damaged.”

“You are not damaged, nor worthless.” The hard voice of Reggie’s Mother sounded behind them, she carried a red tin box with a white cross in her hands. “You are brave and so so strong.” She placed a snuggly blanket around both teens and sat down at Y/N’s feet, taking a shaking hand into her own. “I know what’s it like. But you’re a survivor. You fought through this and we are both proud of you.”

You nodded slightly before wincing at the unbearable pain in your side.

“Right lets get you cleaned up.”

After you were all stitched up, had taken a warm shower and changed into some of Reggie’s clothes. You walked down the corridor to what you could only assume was Reggie’s room. You knocked softly this time until you heard the muffled “come in”

He saw you enter and an immediate smile was placed on his lips, “God, you’re so beautiful.”

You frowned and sat down next to him, “No I’m not.” You tightened your fists into little balls, “I’m unlovable, I’m a waste of space and nobody could ever lo-“

A pair of warm lips covered yours, effectively stopping your self destructive rant, breaking apart you pressed your foreheads together.

“You shouldn’t be with someone like me.”

“I think you’ll find that you’re way out of my league and I’m so lucky to have you.”

“But Reggie, I’m unlovab-“

“Well then, it’s a shame that I’m already in love with you.”

Your eyebrows rose in surprise

“Let me show you what love is like, let me look after you and take you out on dates and be completely whipped for you. Just let me be yours. Be my girl.”

You’re thoughts were overwhelming, each of them flooding in almost to fast for you to handle.

“Okay, I’ll give us a chance.”

“A chance is all it takes.”

#riverdale #reggie mantle x y/n #reggie mantle x you #reggie mantle imagine #reggiemantle #reggie mantle x reader #reggie mantle #charles melton

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emiliachrstine · 6 years

Note

“Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?” for my parents steve and jackie pls and thanks i love u

THANK YOU I LOVE THIS PROMPT SO MUCH OMFG

Steve stepped out of the elevator, into the main loft of Jacqueline’s floor. He had been on the main floor of the tower when Natasha let it slip that Jacqueline had arrived not long ago. He tried to hide his excitement. But Natasha could spot a mood shift a mile away. He missed the smirk that followed soon after.

“You should go see her. And ask her on a date.”

“What?”

“You heard me, ask her on a date. Go have fun.”

“No, I-I can’t. It’s not like that.”

“Now how do you know for sure?”

He tried to push away Natasha’s words on the elevator ride down. But he found himself considering it. It didn’t have to be a date per se. No, how did Natasha put it? Just go out and have fun. Yeah, he could ask her out for a fun night. Better than calling it a date… although that’s pretty much what it is. Steve shook the thoughts away.

It was quiet on her floor. He stayed put in the main room and took a moment to glance around. The last time he had been on this floor was when it was still empty, with no furniture. Tony had been in the process of getting everything set up for her. And the finish product was really nice. She had already made it her home. Picture frames were placed around on different surfaces, a pile of books on the coffee table, her record player and vinyl collection was on its own stand. The whole atmosphere of the place was warm and inviting, something he had always associated with her.

“Hey,”

Steve turned to the main hallway and saw her strutting towards him, he could feel his heart swell at the smile on her face. “Hey,”

She went right for a hug and he savored every second of it. “It’s nice seeing you.” She said, and he could feel her breath against his neck.

“You too.” They pulled away.

“I was just about to come up to the main level.” Jacqueline pointed out.

“Oh, yeah, sorry about just barging in like this.”

She waved off his apology. “It’s fine. You’re welcome to come down here at any time.”

He nodded. “How are you liking being here though?”

“It’s great, though,” she gave a small wince. “It is something to get use to. I am now an official–yet unofficial, member of the Avengers which is pretty cool I guess.”

It was Tony who had approached her about the proposal. He had decided, after the collapse of S.H.I.E.L.D., to make the Avengers a private run team. They answer to themselves and no one else. She perceived that it could potentially cause problems but the whole point was to keep everyone safe, right? And she had been living with her parents since the collapse, if she could do something, saving the world was pretty ideal. She agreed, much to Tony’s own excitement. Now here she was, living at Avengers Tower, and she actually felt like she belonged.

“What about you?” She asked Steve. “How are you liking the whole fighting alongside the team again?”

“It feels…right, I guess. I’m not entirely sure how to explain it.” She nodded at his words. In that moment, Natasha invaded his mind again, her words mercilessly bounced around in his head. “Listen, I actually came down here to ask you something.”

“Oh.” This piqued her interest. “Okay, what is it?”

Oh boy, Steve felt his mouth go dry, the worst possible moment too. He could only stare at her with his mouth slightly agape. “I, uh.” He could feel his heart pounding against his chest as she waited eagerly for him to continue. “I was just…I was just w-wondering if you were doing anything? Friday night?”

Oh my god. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open. Holy shit, is he asking me out on a date? She regarded him for a moment, thinking that it was some kind of prank that he was pulling on her. But she immediately blew that possibility out of the water. Steve would never do something like that. So…this was legit? “I-I, um,”

He hung onto that last word, nearly holding his breath with anticipation. The next words finally came, but not from her.

“Captain Rogers.” The accented voice from above filtered into the main room.

The moment was cut short. Steve let out the breath he had been holding, then stared up at the ceiling, failing to hide the annoyance on his face. Jacqueline caught a small glimpse of it and held back a laugh. “Yes, JARVIS.” He answered.

“Captain Rogers, Mr. Stark needs to see you upstairs, immediately.”

Steve closed his eyes. “Okay, I’ll be right there.”

“Yes, sir.”

Steve glanced down at the floor, not able to look her in the eyes. He felt too embarrassed. His one attempt to ask her out failed because of Tony’s ill-timed request for him. He cleared his throat, hoping to hide the disappointment that weighed down on him. Looking up, he found himself staring right at Jacqueline, who was merely smiling at him and he could practically feel the empathy emanating from her. God this was embarrassing. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

Steve headed back for the elevator, every part of him wanting to leave as fast as he could. He was mentally kicking himself for not asking her fast enough. If only JARVIS had just waited another minute, this would endeavor would have been successful.

“Hey,”

Steve paused upon hearing her voice and turned to look at her. Jacqueline cleared her throat and approached him, the smile still evident on her face. “You really going to leave without asking me what you’ve been dying to ask me?”

He huffed out a laugh. “Are you busy Friday night?” The question came out with ease this time.

She thought for a moment, as if she had any plans. “No, I’m free.”

His hands fumbled together. “Then, would you like to go out and do something? I mean it doesn’t have to be a date or anything, we can just go out and have fun without having to think of it like that.”

She reached out for his hand, effectively silencing him. “I would love to. It’s a date.” After giving his hand a squeeze, she started backing away towards her bedroom. “You better go before Tony gets all antsy.”

He nodded, watching as she started for her bedroom. “It’s a date.” He whispered to himself.

#answered #steckie

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mainaisikyunnhoon-blog · 6 years

Text

(2/3) how does he know that you really, really, truly love him

part 1 || also on ao3

part deux -- gets v v lightly angsty at the end and ofc pls don’t take this seriously etc etc

Jin and Namjoon stand to the side, watching Jungkook approach Yoongi out of the corner of their eyes.

“This isn’t going to end well,” Jin mutters out of the corner of his mouth, pretending to be absorbed by the magazine he’s flipping through.

“We had to include him, you know he’d feel bad if we didn’t,” Namjoon mutters out the corner of his mouth, pretending he’s fascinated by whatever’s on his phone. Jin glances over and sees he’s just randomly pressing apps on the home screen; he snorts to himself, because Namjoon could at least try.

Namjoon, Hoseok, Jungkook — the three weak links in a plan that requires acting. Tae is the only one Jin really has faith in. If this weren’t about Yoongi and Jimin, Jungkook would make the list, too, but it’s obvious Jungkook still feels uneasy, and he gets flustered easily.

They’re taking a break during dance practice, so everyone’s slightly out of breath and dehydrated, sweating like crazy; it really suits Namjoon.

Not thinking about it, Jin says to himself when the thought bubbles to the forefront of his mind. Just enjoy the feeling you get when you look at him.

Worried he might then enjoy the feeling a little too much, he focuses back on the scene unfolding: Jungkook is slowly sidling up to Yoongi, keeping a respectable distance. When Yoongi looks at him, Jungkook panics, turning and staring at the water bottles lined up on the counter seriously, brow furrowed.

Mouth open on what is no doubt an exasperated sigh, Yoongi stares at him before tilting his head back and shutting his eyes.

The way Jungkook’s moving when he starts his approach again making it obvious he’s singing the Pink Panther theme song inside his head, or something of the sort. The fact that he isn’t already all over Yoongi — Jungkook? Personal space? No, those two don’t go together — is suspicious enough, but he stops and looms over Yoongi for a good thirty seconds without saying anything.

“Spit it out,” Yoongi says without opening his eyes. “Or go away.”

“Uh… ” Clasping his hands behind his back, he rocks on his heels. “So… How was your and Jimin’s dinner last night?”

Yoongi opens an eye, his face contorting into his trademark What the fuck expression.

“Just… I’ll bet it was great, right?” Jungkook valiantly continues.

Jin has to stop himself from pinching the bridge of his nose and cursing aloud. Namjoon says, “God,” under his breath, and they share a look as they watch the train wreck happening before them.

Yoongi’s got both eyes open now. “…It was alright, yeah.”

Jungkook nods, jerky. “Yes.” He sounds as awkward as he does when he’s trying to speaking English. “Because Jimin knows you so well, right? You two like spending time together?”

The train wreck has now burst into flames. First responders have gathered around, but it’s hopeless — there are no survivors.

Yoongi frowns. “Are you okay? Did you eat something bad?” He gestures Jungkook to come closer and says, “Come here,” as he feels Jungkook’s forehead, checking his temperature.

Jungkook rolls his eyes, Yoongi’s hand still pressed against his forehead. “I’m fine, I was just curious.”

“Curious. About me and Jimin doing what we’ve done a bunch of times already.”

“Yeah. I only just noticed, though, because I don’t pay attention to you, so it was new to me,” Jungkook says, smirking a little.

Yoongi slaps the back of his head lightly. It can’t even be called a tap, really — it’s more like he’s ruffling Jungkook’s hair. “Do you want me to hit you?”

Rubbing the back of his head, Jungkook pouts. “You just did.”

“That was me being affectionate.”

Groaning dramatically, Jungkook leans his entire weight against Yoongi, who pushes him off. “Your affection is so violent. This is why you’re going to end up alone, you know.”

“And your affection is so annoying. This is why you’re going to end up alone, you know.”

They continue bickering as Namjoon and Jin share a look of relief, thanking God Jungkook’s inherent brattiness surfaced — the product of being treated as both the youngest brother and youngest son, depending on which member was doing the treating.

Later, Jungkook meets with the two to debrief in the secrecy of Namjoon’s room. Tae’s sitting on the bed with his laptop, not even pretending to pay attention, and Jin appreciates his honesty.

“So,” Jin starts, hands placed primly on his crossed knees. “That didn’t work.”

Because Jungkook’s hanging his head, he’s talking to the carpeted floor when he says, “I know, I’m sorry, I panicked because it’s — Yoongi and Jimin?”

Unable to help himself, Jin reaches out and pats him on the head. “It’s okay, Jungkookie.” We weren’t expecting anything, he doesn’t say, because no matter how much Jungkook wants to deny it, he’s still so sensitive to any perceived slights against him. “You tried your best, and that’s what matters.”

“Yeah, but — ”

“Nope,” Jin cuts him off, waving a finger. “No buts.”

The way Jungkook sighs is familiar — his I think you’re totally wrong and I’m not going to say it, but I’m going to indicate it with every single action sigh. “Yeah.” Still downtrodden, he asks, “So, what’s next?”

Both Jin and Namjoon are wearing grim expressions when their eyes meet, and, with one voice, they say, “Hobi.” He’d insisted on trying because, “I don’t want to let anyone down!” and everyone’s weak when it comes to making sure Hobi’s happy, so they hadn’t protested.

“Fuck,” Tae says, looking up to grimace at them.

Fuck, indeed.

***

“Fuck, oh my god, I can’t do this, I’m getting sweaty just thinking about it.”

“Hobi, literally all you have to do is talk to Jimin. You’ve done that before.”

“This is different! I feel like — like I’m being manipulative, Jin. Like James Bond. Isn’t this called a honeypot mission? Am I the honeypot? Or is Jimin the honeypot? I wasn’t made for this kind of life!”

“Honeypot means seduction. Are you trying to seduce Jimin?”

“Seduce him with lies and friendship into doing what I want, yes.”

“Hey… it’s okay, Hobi, you don’t have to do anything. You won’t be letting anyone down. I promise.”

“Are you sure? Won’t Joon be disappointed? And won’t I be setting a bad example?”

“I’m sure. Namjoon won’t be disappointed, and you already set a good example by being yourself.”

“Wow. That was… really heartfelt and sincere.”

“Yes, I know, I’m very kind.”

“Okay, thank you. Great. I’ll be moral support. I can provide a distraction for — ”

“No, please, no distraction is necessary. Just… here, eat this.”

***

The next one up is Tae. “Don’t worry, hyung,” he says, grave in the way he gets when he’s focusing. “I got this.”

“I know,” Jin says, clapping him on the shoulder, and he means it. People always underestimate Tae, often thinking he’s got no depth or intelligence, but Jin knows better — Tae is someone you can count on, and Jin knows he won’t be let down.

With a solid nod, he heads off toward Jimin, who’s sitting on the sofa scrolling through his phone. Jin’s in the kitchen, preparing dinner, so he can’t hear a single thing being said, but he keeps an eye out for any changes in their expressions and — he sees Jimin turn pink, duck his head down, and Tae poke him with a teasing smile on his face, eyes wide.

God, Jin really needs to learn how to read lips because he needs to know what’s being said.

Tae’s wrapped an arm around Jimin’s shoulder now, laughing and shaking him a little, and Jimin’s doing his I’m pushing you away but please don’t actually leave act.

Jin grins down at the pot of stew he’s making; Tae has actually always secretly been his favorite. Then, he tastes the stew and grins for a completely different reason because goddamn he’s good at cooking.

After dinner, Tae says, “Wow, hyung, this was amazing. Delicious. I’ll clean everything up.”

Touched, Jin says, “Thank you, Tae.” And then, looking around at everyone else: “Everyone should follow Tae’s example. Look at how sweet he is.” Because usually, Jin has to browbeat someone into helping him clean up. Really, he doesn’t mind — he knows everyone is tired, and everyone does their own part around the house, whatever it might be, but it’s always nice when someone volunteers to help with everything and not just their own plate.

“I can help, too,” Jimin says, eyes wide, and Jin wants to reach out and pinch his cheeks because he’s just so fucking cute sometimes. “Sorry I didn’t say it first.”

Jin reaches out to ruffle his hair, which Jimin dodges, and coos, “Jiminie, you’re so nice.”

“Too nice,” Yoongi says, eyebrow raised as he puts a spoonful into his mouth.

Jimin turns to him, smirking a little, and Jin is always surprised by how quickly Jimin can go from I’ve never even held hands with anyone to Yeah, last night’s orgy was great. “Am I? Do you want me to stop?”

It’s an innocent enough statement, but the tone makes it suggestive, and Yoongi senses it, if the way he blinks and mumbles something at his bowl is any indication.

“Sorry, what was that?” Jimin says, leaning so close to Yoongi, he’s basically whispering into his ear.

Making an annoyed sound, Yoongi pushes him away. “I said fuck off,” he grits out, frowning.

Across the table, Jin meets Namjoon’s eye, mouthing, It’s working, because this is outright, blatant flirting. Well, they’re always flirting, but this is suggestive; this is Jimin using every tool in his arsenal to make a move, which is always entertaining to watch.

Humming skeptically, Jimin shrugs, putting a spoonful into his mouth before slowly, suggestively popping it out. “That kinda sounds like you want me to be mean.”

“Jimin.” It’s a warning, but there’s a hint of a whine in there if you go looking for it, and the way Jimin grins, smug, means he’s found it.

After a moment of everyone pretending they aren’t watching the pair interact, Jimin turns to Jin, back to his cute, sweet self. “I’ll get started on clearing everything up.”

“And I can do dishes,” Tae says, standing.

Of course, Jin follows Jimin into the kitchen and starts making himself busy, hoping Jimin will take the time to maybe talk to him about what’s happening with Yoongi. It’s been days since they’ve been subtly trying to push them together, but nothing has happened yet and, frankly, Jin’s a little irritated.

After scraping the leftovers out, Jimin hands the pots to Jin, who submerges them in soapy water.

“Jin,” Jimin starts softly, and Jin isn’t facing him but he knows what expression he’s wearing: eyes downcast, chewing on his bottom lip, and Jin’s fucking thrilled because here it comes. “Can I… ”

When Jimin doesn’t go further than that, Jin turns to him. “Can you what?” he says, making sure to keep his voice non-confrontational.

Still looking down, still biting his lip, Jimin shakes his head and finally looks at Jin. “Never mind. It’s alright.” He smiles. “It was nothing.”

It’s always hard to know when to push and when to let it be, but something tells Jin now isn’t the time to push. “Okay. But you know I’m here if you need to talk about anything, right?”

The smile Jimin’s wearing is soft. “Of course. You’re the best.”

“Yes, and the most handsome,” Jin adds, turning back to rinse out the dishes.

“Sure,” Jimin says, “but I mean, you’re the best in terms of just, y’know. Being you. Not your looks or anything.”

The water’s running, but Jin freezes for a second before he snaps out of it, his ears turning red. It’s something he would never, never admit aloud, but someone complimenting him and not just the way he looks is so rare it always gets him far too emotional. That’s why he doesn’t turn around as he says, “Thank you, Jimin,” but he’s pretty sure Jimin can tell the effect of his words through his tone.

Jimin leaves without saying anything else, bumping into Tae on the way out. “Oh, you cleared all the dishes from the table?” Jimin says. “I was gonna do that.”

“Too slow,” Tae says, walking toward Jin. “Be faster next time.”

Because Jin’s still rinsing out the dishes, he can’t see their faces, but by the pause, he knows they’re insulting each other through their expressions.

“Here you go,” Tae says, putting the dishes in the sink and bumping into Jin a little, smiling when Jin looks over. “I said I was gonna wash the dishes.”

“Well, I started, you can finish,” Jin says, and Tae bumps him again so Jin takes the hint and moves over.

“So,” Tae says after a moment, sleeves rolled up as he runs a pot under the water, and he’s serious again. “I talked to Jimin.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Jin says, eyes wide, and he moves closer to Tae. “What did Jimin say? Anything?”

“He didn’t really say anything, but he got all shy and blushy when I asked how his ‘date’ with Yoongi had been last night,” Tae says. “So I don’t think it’s gonna take too long for me to get him to crack.”

Jin would tease Tae for using words like “getting him to crack,” as if this were some crime procedural, if he weren’t just as dramatic. “Okay, good. Good, that’s why I saved you for last.”

The hesitation on Tae’s face makes it obvious he’s rethinking whether he should say what he wants to, and the sly smile makes it obvious which option’s won out. “You didn’t save me for last; Namjoon did. It’s his plan.”

Even though it’s true, Jin hits him on the shoulder, making an exaggeratedly annoyed noise when Tae laughs. “Don’t disrespect your elders!” Namjoon had orchestrated the whole thing, saying, “We have to let the others try first, because they’re going to fail but we don’t want to make them feel excluded. Then, Tae’s gonna go in — he’ll work on Jimin. Yoongi’s going to take much more work, so you and I’ll try to work on him.”

Jin had just barely caught the whole thing because he’d been too busy admiring how animated Namjoon got when he had a plan, the confidence and competence radiating from his person, his eyes brimming with intelligence and his small smile with excitement.

Laughing louder, Tae says, “I’d never disrespect you, Jin. You know we all think you’re amazing.”

Just like that, the mood shifts to something a little more serious, and Jin fiddles with his sleeves. Is this how Yoongi feels when people say nice things about him? Because then, Jin can understand his need to yell out of embarrassment. Jin’s great at giving compliments, and usually great at receiving them, but not when they’re accompanied by that much sincerity. Especially since Tae gets really intense. “Yeah, I know.”

Tae hums. “Okay.” Glancing at Jin, he quickly dips his hand in the soapy water and splashes it onto Jin, dancing out-of-reach when Jin claws at him.

“Oh my fucking god, you’re going to regret that,” Jin says, spluttering in indignation, and it devolves into a water fight. The kitchen is in worse condition than before, but it’s worth it to see how hard Tae laughs when Jin accidentally ends up soaking his entire sleeve.

Sometimes, when things are hard and Jin’s stressed and tired and there seems to be no end… sometimes, a part of Jin wonders how his life would’ve been if he had decided not to join BTS — how much easier his life would probably be.

But then, he replays moments like this — moments like teasing Jungkook when he’s in a bad mood, just enough to get him to laugh; moments like watching Tae fall asleep onto his shoulder; moments like comforting Jimin after he gets so frustrated with his singing he’s on the verge of tears — and he remembers why an easier life wouldn’t have been a better one.

***

Weeks go by with no results. It’s hard, knowing when to push and when to let it be, but they’re lucky — Yoongi and Jimin gravitate toward each other so often, all they have to do is get out of the way. Which Jin takes to heart, ushering everyone out when he senses Yoongi and Jimin are about to have a moment, making sure they get paired together for everything. Jin tries to provoke Yoongi into talking about his feelings, but it’s like trying to pry open a shut oyster, and he knows by Namjoon’s I’m frustrated but I’m gonna badly pretend I’m not complaining that he isn’t any luckier, either.

Tae seems to be in the same predicament. “I don’t know,” he says, downcast, when they meet again — Namjoon’s decided the meetings should be biweekly, just to check in. “I thought he would’ve told me by now, y’know?” The look he gives Jin puts the phrase like a kicked puppy to shame. “I’m sorry, hyung, I let you down.”

Well, Jin can’t have these kind of thoughts in his house. “No, Tae, you’re doing great, you aren’t letting anyone down.”

Tae doesn’t look convinced. “Yeah.”

From where he’s lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, Hoseok makes an exasperated noise. “I’m sorry, guys, I wish I could do more, but I can’t.” He shifts onto his elbows, frowning. “I mean, I already gave Jimin the most suggestive choreography I could and had him dance right next to Yoongi — unless we have them grind up on each other, I really don’t see how I can make it any more sexual. Yoongi didn’t even look flustered.”

“And I’ve already pushed Yoongi into Jimin as many times as I can. I even made Yoongi sit in Jimin’s lap one time. And they cuddled. And I swear they were — doing other stuff, too.” Jungkook’s expression makes it clear how scarred he is by the experience, and he mumbles, “The things I do for love.”

It’s silent for a bit, as they all mull over the issue.

“Why can’t I just ask them?” Jungkook blurts out, throwing his arms in the air. “It’s so simple! Why do we have to do — ” he gestures at all of them “ — all this.”

“Because if we approach it like that,” Jin says patiently, “they’ll just clam up and won’t be able to look at each other. No, we have to make them realize it, without thinking that we’re influencing them.”

Another silence.

Namjoon sighs. “You know, I don’t want to say this, but… ” Runs a hand through his hair, looking at everyone but settling his eyes on Jin. “Maybe it just. Isn’t meant to be.”

Jin has to stop his impulsive reaction of, You take that back right now, and forces himself to think about it, because maybe Namjoon’s right. He doesn’t want to force anything — he isn’t doing this because it’s fun for him, he just wants them to be happy. Happier.

“That’s what I’ve been saying,” Jungkook says. “Maybe we’re just making it up. I mean, look at me and Tae.” He gestures between them, and Jin’s stomach sinks because he can sense Jungkook’s about to say something really stupid. Before Jin can stop him, though, Jungkook continues, “I’m sure people look at us and think we’re ‘in love’ or whatever, but we’re obviously not, because that’d be so weird. Kinda gross, since we’re, like, brothers. Maybe it’s the same with Jimin and Yoongi.”

Throughout Jungkook’s little speech, Jin’s eyes have been trained on Taehyung, watching the way his face freezes when Jungkook mentions them, watching as it hardens into something blank, watching as he ducks his head so his hair covered his face, his hands slipped between his thighs. Even after Jungkook’s finished, Tae’s staring at his lap.

Jin feels an irrational surge of anger at Jungkook. It isn’t his fault, really, but does he have to be so thoughtless with his words? “I don’t think — ”

“He’s totally right, hyung,” Tae says, cutting him off, and he laughs a little and looks at Jin. Fuck, he’s good at acting — gone is the blank mask and back is the happy-go-lucky one, smile in place. As if nothing happened. “I mean, it’s a possibility.”

Jin gets the message and lets Jungkook’s words go. “Maybe,” he says after a while, finally breaking eye contact with Tae and nodding at Jungkook. “Yeah, maybe.”

For the third time, silence reigns, and third time’s the charm: “Okay, I think that’s enough for today,” Namjoon says, putting his hands on his knees. “We’ll meet again in three days, and we’ll decide whether it’s actually time to stop. Good?”

With murmured agreement, they all get up and leave. Jin watches as Jungkook slips an arm around Tae’s shoulders, as Tae laughs with his head thrown back before ruffling Jungkook’s hair.

It’s about time to do something about that, too. At least have a proper conversation with Tae — confront him, get him to talk about it; he’s the older brother, after all.

“Hey, you okay?”

Namjoon’s quiet voice snaps him back to reality and he blinks at Namjoon, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I’m sorry, I know you wanted this to work out.”

Jin smiles at him, getting up. “No, I wanted them to be as happy as possible, and if that means them staying separated… then be it.” Maybe Jimin’s over Yoongi. Maybe Yoongi doesn’t really feel anything for Jimin, never has. Maybe Jin was wrong the whole time.

Maybe you’re projecting your own issues on them, he hears in his mind, and he immediately pushes that aside, shoves it into darkness because no.

“Well, what is happiness, really?” Namjoon drawls, one cheek dimpled — how he always looks when he thinks he’s being funny.

You, Jin thinks, unbidden, but he says: “Okay, Confucious, I’m going to sleep before you try to enlighten me any more.” To himself he says, Get a fucking grip. And stop watching so many dramas, God, that was a horrible line.

Namjoon laughs loudly as Jin pushes past him, and Jin tosses back a, “Sweet dreams,” over his shoulder, shutting his door and making his way into his own room.

He settles into bed, determined to not think about anything.

He fails.

this is what jin’s singing probably

uhhh so yeah vkook seems angsty but obvs jimin/yoongi IS a thing, so jungkook’s wrong about vkook too -- just not gonna be addressed in this fic (or maybe will?? idk lmao who knows where this is going)

anyway, hope you liked it, lemme know if there are errors etc and thanks for reading :))

#text #yoonmin #namjin #bts rpf #yoongi #jimin #jin #can you believe how low the health points are on a mankey #jhope #jungkook #taehyung #hoseok #my writing #mine #fic #you're like mold

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riskeith · 3 years

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you just responded and i nyoomed to answer. yes my days consist of waiting for you. yes i’m not ashamed to admit it. <3

that makes so much sense actually? like A Lot of sense. i don’t think you should feel bad about that at all i mean if you are comfortable with how you perceive them then by all means! haha! what’s fun about fanfics is that people can take one character and shape them in so many different ways. canon doesn’t anyways give us depth to characters yet writers do which 🙏🏽 godsent. but then again, it can feel weird if someone makes them behave like ~someone~ else haha. i remember it used to be a hot topic in voltron actually, where people would portray lance as a weak and emotional guy only even if he’s arguably the bravest and most bamf... people didn’t like that very much. do you know what i’m talking about?

I’M SO EXCITED TO READ ALL OF THESE. thank you so much you just set my late night weekend plans 😏. and oh god esselle is the ao3 writer. i love their bnha fics so much. can’t wait to read their haikyuu stuff as well. kagehina too... 🥺 dude, i saw some oikage things last night and i have my eyes open.. 👁 i know you like them a lot so hm... i’ll definitely read that as well i love the summary already.

he’s puppy-like so would he like to play in the water? i want to say so, just bc i think it would be cute for him to splash around 🥺

just one?? wow now i get what you meant in your earlier messages, shskdhsk. all my current friends i’ve known since we were children, i don’t even know how to make new friends irl tbh.... AND SAME!!!! CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS GO BRR. and god the best thing is how things change but at the same time they don’t? like they start to notice little things and realize they’ve always liked them? or the ‘i thought best friends felt like this towards each other’.... aaaaaaaah. 🥺 but then again enemies to lovers.. the tension and the yearning? the moment everything just snaps? god i couldn’t pick my favorite i don’t think. i just love those two so much equally hahah.

if it’s cyberpunk vibes i will combust. i love those aesthetics so much.. (waiting for ps5 to restock so i can run around in night city in cyberpunk 2077 forever.) but yeah it makes sense for it to be themed like that but it’s so funny to think about transporting from the whispering woods to like... large billboards and grungy streets. AR 35?? oh that’s must earlier than i expected. so i take it the main story isn’t done yet?

how sexy, even though this blog is just our messenger app at this point snskdhkddhj.. once again, i’m sorry riskeith stans.. 🙏🏽

i wish i could get you all the cotton candy in the world. and wow kenma HAIR!! sounds so cute but wait oh my god,,, do you have short hair,....... 😳💗💓💕👁💘💝💓😭💗👀💖💓💘💝💞 do you? 😳💢 how was it shaving everything? must’ve been such a big decision!! 😳

ikr? like most of the fics i’ve read portrays them as a angst ship which i do love a lot but you’re right it’s funny bc in canon they’re just.. supportive idiots. i think it’s the oikawa fangirls thing and iwa being annoyed by it that people get hooked on. at least i think since it’s almost always there in the fics... :+ DO YOU LIKE IT? i’m so obsessed with it i saw a edit on ig with klance and that song earlier and it fits them so well too... 🥺 anyway back to iwaoi, i think i like writing from iwa’s pov actually? i haven’t tried writing much from oikawa’s yet but idk.,, iwa’s personality just speaks to me. also i like that oikawa’s personality is so complex to understand, it’s easier to spice up the angst that way. (I DON’T 🥺 it’s such a sad topic for me bc it’s my ultimate dream to drive but it costs soo much money to get it here and i’ve been too busy to invest... 😭 wbu?????) I KNOW MEMO AND OH MY GODNESS? i’m sure the fic is sooo good oh god.... the vibes. 😭 please tell me what it’s about. please. 🙇🏽‍♀️

OH it means that i’m just gonna reread your fics until you post something new... here i thought i was being clever and cute shshskdhdks

STOP YOU KEEP MAKING ME SO EXCITED aaaa ma’am please... think about my heart. 🥺

here’s a new topic to discuss; are you a coffee or tea person? (or neither.. please don’t say so)

kiss, m.a. 💘

i keep forgetting to check whether you’ve responded or not before shutting down my laptop and i’m left to answer on my phone 😭😭 and i too spend my days awaiting your responses <333 but i always forget to check after a period of time HFJSKFKSKCKNC i swear i’m checking like once every 5 min but the moment i forget you respond NCKSNDN

bro (do you mind being called stuff like that lol) writers give us everything canon is too cowardly to give.… truly blessed 🙏🙏 yeah i do!! there are a lot of complaints about mischaracterisation in hq fandom too actually… which i think is fair enough but at the end of the day just let these people have their fun you know.. it’s not harming anyone and if you don’t like it just don’t read! lol

i haven’t read much of esselle’s bnha actually (aside from tdbk) but i just know they’re absolutely amazing!!!!!! absolute legend i hope (i know you will tho hehe) you enjoy her kagehina toooo. and yes oikage!!!!!! omg pls 😭😭😭 i wish they were more popular aaaa

🥺🥺🥺 razor in one of those baby pools.. RAZOR WITH POOL FLOATIES!!! my goodness 😭😭😭😭

fjksnxksndm yeah but i think i might be an outlier in that… LOL oops. and you’re so right like they just grew up together and like grew in love it’s so natural and just comes to them like they were always supposed to be together and they are <333 bc soulmates <33333 BUT YEAHHH THE MOMENT EVERYTHING SNAPS YOU KNOW IT!!!!! god when person A SAVES person B even tho they’ve “hated” them the entire time...… but when they were faced with a tough circumstance they realised they couldn’t bear the thought of being without them 😩😩👌👌👌👌👌👌

omg ps5.… ngl i considered buying a ps console so i could play the last of us 2 chxjjskskxjxjs. have you seen all the cyberpunk memes tho? lolol. nah main story isn’t done!! i think the main story is supposed to develop all 7 worlds until we find our sibling so like.… it ain’t gonna be over for a LONGGGG time (lol omg could you imagine if mih*y* pulled a me and like 4 worlds in was just ‘ok soz i’m uninterested now you can imagine how the game would’ve gone’ HFJSJFKSKFKDJ)

HAHAHAHHA it legitimately is. riskeith who??? more like marriage anon stan account. fjdkfnnd anyways to my other followers hope y’all are enjoying the show 🤪

i do have short hair rn!!! lowkey a bowl cut but i’m also trynna grow out a mullet djksndksnd. and having a shaved head was so nice.. i literally just couldn’t stop touching it after cjskckksnfks. and it wasn’t that big of a decision to me tbh i’m not that fussed about my hair like i know some other people are djskkd the biggest obstacle was getting my parents to agree 💀💀💀 (much like i am trying now..…) i used to have my hair long for ballet, but once i quit i just kept getting it cut shorter and shorter and then voila! shave. GJDJKSKDND

true.. jealous iwa.. i have that in one of my wips i believe FJSJJCKSKDK (it might even be in the memo fic?) AND UHHHH i didn’t love the song ;–; it’s just… slow HFKALDLAKDK and not the mood i was in when i heard it cjdkslxllskcjskcnkscnkzmxmcm omg no not klance 😭😭 they have a lot of angst too.. (i say, as if there isn’t a single klance fic of mine that doesn’t have angst JFJDJSKDJ) OMG YOU LIKE WRITING IWA POV TOO???? you 🤝 me iwa kin. i joke that it’s because i, much like him, am very much in love with oikawa. (aw no i’m so sorry for bringing it up 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but i’m on my learner’s rn!) IVE POSTED THE OUTLINE ONCE (not a good sign… LMAO) https://kaheyama.tumblr.com/post/190015338287/yall-want-some-iwaoi-angst THERE!! also wait i just realised it has manga spoilers.… maybe don’t look fjdknfjd (you could stop after “pining iwaizumi hajime” but i don’t want to accidentally spoil you 😭😭)

JFKSKSLAKFKSKCJLSKD IM so sorry it WAS clever and cute my brain was just not big enough at the moment to understand 😭😭😭😭😭 but thank u as always i appreciate 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 so honoured you would even think about going back to them lord knows i don’t KFKSJSKA

HEHEHE NO MERCY!!! but ok ok i shall lay low until the day comes 😋😋😋

tea!! simply bc i can’t sleep if i drink coffee fjskfjsj. but that’s been happening with tea too so i haven’t even had tea recently 😭😭😭😭😭 flavour wise i think i like coffee more but also you get so much more variety with tea? hm. HAHA. hbu??

hugssss, c.r. 💝

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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