#ofc first one my brain made me draw was the stupid one

[arunneronthird]

two different flavors of absolute menace

#i want to draw so much angst and i have so many thoughts on ghost as a character but #ofc first one my brain made me draw was the stupid one #call of duty #modern warfare ii #mw2 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #my art #hi mw fandom i have no clue what im doing #but my god im gonna write and completely butcher everyones accent out of pure love for them #cod #cod mw2

[hanasnx]

okay okay here is some more ani+ hands content as promised

so i can't get the idea of anakin being smug about it out of my head. bc like, it’s such a fucking ego boost for this man that you’re falling apart for his literal hands 

_____

like it starts off all innocent, with you having little doodles of anakin and some of your other friends in your little sketchbook that you never let go of

until you eventually start drawing anakin more and more… bc he’s just so pretty and drawable yk. like he’s got the curls and the scar and just how intense his eyes can be so you can’t help but draw him. until one day you watch him going on about the different parts of his lightsaber and how he’s planning to tweak it and yada yada but you’re just watching his hands bc lord almighty

you tell yourself it's an innocent, purely artistic fascination but that is NOT the case when you’re touching yourself at night thinking about ‘em so later on as you get closer (as friends or as enemies, you decide), he finds your notebook one day bc it fell out of your stuff or something and there are just these beautiful sketches of… his hands?

and at first, he’s confused? bc that couldn’t possibly be the case but his curiosity takes over, he leafs through to see different images of himself - his eyes, his side profile, him that one time he showed up with a bedhead - but most importantly his hands. He recognizes them as his own because of the level of detail and the thin rope bracelet on his left. so he becomes a man on a mission to test this theory ofc. handing you your things, letting the sleeves of his robes slide back more than necessary. taking every opportunity to put his arm around the small of your back as he needs to move past. working on his lightsaber or R2 whenever you’re around, noticing how one of the most intelligent, witty people he knows becomes simply mesmerized just watching him tinker with stuff

and now that he’s confirmed his theory? you bet your ass he is gonna use it night and day. i’m thinking of him goofing around with some of the men from his troops until he’s shoving one of them up against the wall with something like “is that how you’re gonna talk to a general?” and then he lets him go and they’re all laughing about it as they go their separate ways but when he walks past you, you hear him whisper like “you wished that was you, don’t you?” and your brain fucking short circuits. him when one day he’s trying to focus on something and all you can hear is you rambling about something or the other under he gets up puts his hand over your mouth and he feels you go pliant under him just looking at him with these bedroom eyes bc omfg you can feel how the pads of his fingers are roughly pressing into the flesh of your cheek “Just let me finish this thing without talkin’ my ear off, and maybe i’ll fuck you stupid properly, hm?” he says casually, as if he isn’t wearing the world’s smuggest look on his face. and you bet your ass this man will deliver “wanted my hands on you, is that it?” “look at you, drooling over my hands like some cheap lower-level slut” “Want my fingers in your mouth? Or around your throat until they leave pretty little bruises, hm? bcs I can make that happen” “gonna make you hump my fuckin arm until you make a fuckin mess like i know you will”

“greedy little pussy is taking my fingers like you were made for it, goddamn”

him making you watch while licks his fingers off after having his fingers in your pussy

okay i'm done for now

prev post

☥ “it’s such a fucking ego boost for this man that you’re falling apart for his literal hands”

100%

☥ “just how intense his eyes can be so you can’t help but draw him”

i love describing anakin’s eyes as intense. they’re just so present, so demanding, his gaze so severe and unforgiving. yes. intense. i love it.

☥ “he recognizes them as his own because of the level of detail and the thin rope bracelet on his left.”

the fucking rope bracelet detail. omfg. it’s so simple, so him

☥ “taking every opportunity to put his arm around the small of your back as he needs to move past.”

as i said in my last post,.,.,,.,, yes. hand at the small of your back supremacy

☥ “him when one day he’s trying to focus on something and all you can hear is you rambling about something or the other under he gets up puts his hand over your mouth and he feels you go pliant under him just looking at him with these bedroom eyes bc omfg you can feel how the pads of his fingers are roughly pressing into the flesh of your cheek”

stoppppp stop stop. shutting you up manually with just a big hand over your mouth im fucking drooooling. i’d be lookin up at him with crazy fuck me eyes fr you’re so real for saying this suffu

☥ “‘look at you, drooling over my hands like some cheap lower-level slut’; ‘want my fingers in your mouth? or around your throat until they leave pretty little bruises, hm?’; & ‘gonna make you hump my fuckin arm until you make a fuckin mess like i know you will’”

cheap lower-level slut😳💕🥴🫦😵‍💫 i think about this a lot. just,,,,, the coruscant detail, adding “cheap” makes me go so crazy. omfg. i love degradation; imagine those finger pad shaped bruises littering your neck im feral; & arm kink🚨arm kink🚨 im freeaaakaksigjngng i wanna fuck his arm so fucking bad this made me soooo 😵‍💫😵‍💫 insane. using the word “hump” god. chefs kiss.

☥ “‘greedy little pussy is taking my fingers like you were made for it,’”

this. this. this. this. insinuating you were created for the sole purpose of sex, for being obedient, for being his hole. oh god yes. i cant even fucking breathe i gotta sit down im so dizzy imagining his thick fingers stuffed inside a drippy pussy i’m sooooo😭😭

☥ “him making you watch while licks his fingers off after having his fingers in your pussy”

STOPPPPP STOP FUCKING STOPP i cant take it anymore i feel like i gotta break shit rn

the big show he’d make of it,.,.,. side eyeing you while he fucking licks his fingers clean. until his eyes are full on boring into yours as he’s sucking the remnants of your finish off his skin and you’re wishing you were the one to do it.

licking your cum/squirt off his fingers together, making out with his digits and melding your tongues through and around them… like the disgusting, impatient, greedy perverts you are.

#arm kink <3 #spoken-stardust #indy shoots the shit #anakin #thanks for the msg!! #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker prompt #x f!reader

[yulgurr]

i doodled.. things.. unorganized thoughts about my tav (her name is Ellana) with typos probably but ignore these i typed it out at 3am

more thoughts under the cut

ok first of all this is what my blonde elf girl.png looks like i think she pretty

OK SO HEAR ME OUT when i was 13 i first started playing fantasy rpgs like this with character creators and the first character i made was a blonde elf in dragon age inquisition and she had a default name (Ellana)

i have so many good memories about dragon age but i never got to finish it because right before the final boss fight the laptop broke down and i was devastated sad and. sad. so i decided that my first Tav would be a reincarnation of og Ellana. a blonde (half) elf with facial paintings.

im not familiar with bg3 world building like, AT ALL but im having some lore packed for her. a bit. she is half elf but both of her parents and 6 siblings are elves (but we don't talk about that). she studied magic and then left the city to live in the forest for a few years (she has wooden elvish ancestry so it wasn't a problem), and then one day she woke up on a ship with a worm in her brain (there's more ofc but im saving it for later so i can draw it)

she is. very stupid. silly even. no thoughts in that brain. the worm is starving. her resting expression is just a deadpan smile. she may appear scheming but there are no thoughts.

somehow i ended up being on very good terms with gale so i guess they'll be great frens :] i also started romancing karlach yippe my beloved lesbians iwant what they have<3

#yulgurr art #oc stuff #?? i guess?? #bg3 tav #tav: ellana

[derelictheretic]

OC TAG GAME

Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton @strangefae and @detectivelokis !! Ty 💕💕💕

Not quite sure whose done this since i've been. absent. so i'mma send tags out to @deputyash @bluemojave @adelaidedrubman @bl-beater @jollybone @clicheantagonist @florbelles @unholymilf @henbased @ishwaris @megraen @shellibisshe @trashcatsnark @v0idbuggy @wewillryesagain No pressure as always !!

Favourite OC

Currently I would say Lola is holding that spot, she's fun to draw and write for and I just spin her in my brain like a rotisserie chicken all day she brings me so much joy to think about. She's also my first transfem OC so she,,,,, is so special 2 me <3

My consistent faves of all time tho are my boy Damien (my half demon half vamp man), my girl Lucy (She is a unicorn shifter and I Adore she sooooo much) and ofc my creacher Dean uvu

Oldest OC

Damien!! He's from my first original story I ever made and I've had him for 7 to 8 years!! He rotates in my head forever even tho I barely talk about him 👉👈 His story has changed a few times but his design has stayed pretty consistent! He means the world to me and so does his story and one day I will bring it to life ashsjsjs

Newest OC

That would be Lola!!!! I'd been wanting another unhinged lady to play around with and felt like having a pink murder lady as well and thus Lola was born 🥺 She brings serotonin and I love playing around with her relationships with the other characters!

Meanest OC

Hmmm this is a tough one but it's probably Heather! Heather is actively mean on purpose and loves her passive aggression and tearing people down through her words. She smiles while pointing out all ur insecurities and faults and will laugh if u cry <3 bestest worstie wife ever <333

I have a few other mean OC's like Rilo (Demon lord) but he's on a much bigger scale of wanting to commit genocide against all supernatural creatures soooo he's just like evil less so just mean. Very smile in ur face while he obliterates ur very atoms kinda vibe,, hate him so <3

Softest OC

This is impossible I have too many softies,, But probably Lucy! She's a pacifist and just has the biggest heart, she's very empathetic and always wants to help people even if there is nothing she can do in a situation. She also is just very soft in nature like she has a gentle touch and soft voice and sweet eyes that will make u cry and tell her all ur problems while she holds u.

Most aloof/standoffish

I have a few of these too lol I'd say it's a tie between Michael, Silas (Eldritch horror slasher) or Pheonix (Marvel OC besties with Wade). Silas probably wins because he doesn't tolerate talking to humans in any circumstance and just seeing him tends to send people running. Silent, brooding, grumpy eldritch horror man my beloved.

Smartest OC

I have a sentient AI OC called HEXX and he has knowledge from all across the galaxy (being an AI for a spaceship he needs it lol) so I'd say that'd be him! Ask him anything and he has the answer, just don't ask him about love bc he will have his 1010th identity crisis and the ship will suffer it's 1010th failing and emergency landing :)

Dumbest (affectionate) OC

Hmmm i'm gonna say my baby boy Ky bc he's my literal himbo lmao He has zero thoughts in his pretty little head!! Only loving friends and having fun!!!! Golden retriever boy only know eat hot food and love everyone!!!!! No but he genuinely is so,, so stupid,,, the one thing he can somehow do on his own is cook, baking is off limits he will burn down the kitchen......

OC's I'd be friends with irl

I have a few I think it'd get along with so I'll narrow it down to three!

Piper; We would vibe in a makeshift tree house and play video games and I'd listen to her gush over women (Faith) for hours and she'd judge my horrid taste in men <3 She'd probably also beat me in poker and steal all my money.

Fredrick; my genderfluid god would take me to so many concerts and drag me across the country to get something they bought off of eBay and I would have a blast.

My lil tech nerd Keiden; he likes coding and games, I can kind of code and like games, it just makes sense. We'd play raft and Minecraft and make epic structures and talk about what we would do different with the game mechanics.

#nervous about putting my non fandom ocs I always feel self concious talking abt them lol #but I love them and I wanna talk about them more........ #misc: tag game #oc: Lola Darling #oc: Michael Sinclaire #oc: Piper Vasquez #oc: Damien Bryne #oc: Lucy Collins #oc: Fredrick Collins #oc: Heather Lucille Valentine #oc: Rilo #oc: Ky Cartier

[doctorguilty]

Pda...

I feel like this is gonna sound dumb but I'm just emotional and that's how I am so whatever...... there's just something something can't stop thinking about

A couple days into my last visit with gloomy, I came out of the bathroom and made some silly comment about the bar of soap I washed my hands with, I think maybe it was something stupid like I washed chocolate off my hands after we shared a pastry, and I was like omg it was making the soap brown I had to wash it off I wouldn't want your sister to think there was poo all over the soap 🤣 and gloomy said like, "oh well that's there for you anyway" and I was like huh?? And they reiterated they had put that bar of soap put for me specifically. I'm the only one that uses it. They and their sister use the liquid soap pump.

And I was just like stunned for a moment cause here's the thing... that bar of soap was there when I FIRST visited their apartment. I didn't question it like plenty of people have multiple kinds of hand soap. So I'd been using that the whole time during that visit.. and when I came back it was there again so I mindlessly used it again.

It wasn't anything super fancy or anything, just a plain old bar of ivory soap. But gloomy bought that, and a cute soap dish to hold it in, to put it out for me.. even though I don't live there. So I asked why? Like, I can just use liquid soap I don't need my own soap ;w;" And they said, simply, "because I know you like to use bar soap"

Gloomy says things in such a matter-of-fact way that always gets into my head but I mean that in a good way. When I say and do things for others, I'm emotional, my tone often has a flourish, my instinct to be so external about the love behind my intentions. But there's something so.. different, in a way I'm drawn to, that with gloomy it just.. it's concise. It's a fact. It's not a grand emotion.. not the way I'd experience it.. buying something for someone, feeling excitement over it, I know what my emotions look like.

No.. when i picture gloomy just.. being at the store, seeing soap, putting it in the basket. Setting it out on the sink so it's waiting for me. Done. Its mundane. It's normal. And to me that's so warm like..... like it's all part of the reason gloomy feels like home anywhere I am

So anyway.. I told them I was so moved by that.. and yknow, I don't think I ever EXPLICITLY emphasized my bar soap preference, because again its not terribly important, it must have been something offhanded or maybe just a mental note that's what I had in the bathroom where I live, that I used

I know it probably doesn't seem all that deep.. but to me it really, really is. And they never outright told me, like NEEDING me to know!!!! They did it for me!! Which would be fine ofc, but again it's the mundane-ness (is that a word?) No, its not about their own emotional fulfillment at all.. it's enough to just make me comfortable, on purpose.

And that just... means the world to me.. because in my life, I desperately battle for (and often lose) my right to take up space, everywhere I go. I'm used to every little thing being in someone's way. Having it criticized. Being emotionally beaten down and shrinking just to keep my sanity.. for someone to feel I'm worth that... not the literal price of soap but the PRINCIPLE, the fact that something JUST FOR ME can just take up space in SOMEONE ELSES SPACE, they CHOSE to do on their own volition and not feel compelled to draw attention to it.. that is the most wonderful thing anyone can give me.. truly.. space. That's what it is. Space I don't have to battle for or earn. It's just there. I'm starting to tear up writing all this. That's how much it means to me .

I love them.. I love the way they are , so different from me in ways I admire, in ways that make me feel special because my brain is wired up differently where I wouldn't have the same exact thought process over the same exact intent

I was also told, anecdotally, when gloomy put the soap out, their sister criticized it like "that's pointless no one uses bar soap 🙄" and they said "some people do, seth does, its for him" and that's important to me to that without me even being there or knowing, they had no issue defending the space (literally physical space, AND the concept of it, why my arbitrary preference matters more than HER opinion) they wanted me to have.

I always end up beating myself up at the end of my yearning, because i still don't have the ability to keep out the thoughts that I don't deserved to be loved, how does my partner tolerate me, etc.. and that's how I'm feeling now.. how does someone so good love me? I just can't be worthy.. I've been taught time and time again i am no ones priority and the space I take up us a burden.

But nonetheless I am grateful for their love. I love them so much .. so much... every time I've washed my hands in the bathroom since then, I think of the soap at their apartment still there for me .. SO far away, yet space is still filled by me, whether the soap stays on the sink or gets put away in a drawer or whatever. It's there. Taking up space on purpose...

#seth speaks #pda

[circusislife]

Hi! I saw in your pinned post you were open to sharing tips about adhd, and I've been struggling with it so much recently I swear. Could you share any tips in general, or specifically for starting tasks? no pressure ofc you don't have to answer if you are uncomfortable with me asking ^-^, just let me know and I'll disappear into the windy wind

(warning: infodumping has been unlocked, prepare yourself :) )

ok, first of all, living with adhd is different for every person. mine your and everyone else's experience is unique and that means not everything that helps me will help you and vice-versa. you might want to tweak my advice to fit you better. that said, onto the infodumping! :D

let's see, I'll start with study tips!

you know that moment when focusing is a struggle and you feel like your head might explode but you keep studying? that's not a sign that you are stupid or dumb. it's a sign that your brain has reached its limit. your metabolism is struggling to produce enough dopamine to keep working, you need a break. depending on how exhausted you are you might need anything between 5 minutes and 20. don't remember where, but I once read that the average neurotypical should alternate 40min of focus to 20 of break, so there's that.

also, for that break, either do something completely unrelated to the task and that you really enjoy, or physical activity. that's because the first one helps you produce the used up dopamine because it's something you enjoy, the second one works because it speeds up your metabolism, all your metabolism, including the production of neurotransmitters. (doesn't need to be that much physically taxing, just enough to get your blood pumping. going up and down the stairs five times, doing a set of pushups, jumping in place a bit, anything goes)

also, don't fight the jitters. they are your body's way of unobtrusively speed up your metabolism and help you focus. the best way to deal with them is channel them in a socially acceptable way (bounce your leg, but keep the tip of your foot on the ground so it doesn't make sound, braid and unbraid some strings, twirl a pencil, stretch, play with your hair, play with a necklace...)

using timers to deal with time issues is useful, too. best if used in tandem with a schedule. (those are freakishly hard to make and harder to uphold tho, it's best to keep them simple, like "I'll start on homework 20 min after lunch", without specifying when lunch is, and leave some free time to make up for delay. also, if you really need to do something, tell someone else. I don't really like this, but the perceived obligation will twist anxiety into boosting your productivity. the body-double works more or less the same way, peer pressure nagging you into action)

other tip. if you have problem starting on homework, start from what's easiest or what you enjoy the most. finishing something soon or doing something with success will give you a confidence and dopamine boost that might be just enough to struggle a little less with the rest.

to memorize something, try to associate it with something else, build yourself some "memory anchors" as I call them. can be anything. "near the name of that historical figure resembles that of a Pokemon" remember the Pokemon, remember the name. "the date of this battle looks like a funny word/ has numbers in a particular sequence" remember the word, or the made up sequence, remember the date.

also, highlighters draw attention. make sure to switch up the color to avoid a memory soup, but used the right way they can help form the anchors.

I'm not much one for summaries (my brain is going to cut off a part of the text any way, might as well feed it the text that has something to be cut off), but they, alongside side notes, are a good way to trigger your memory once you've studied.

if you need to remember a date/appointment, either tell a few people and ask them to remind you or write it down everywhere , multiple times, and set up alarms.

create habits. for example, choose a few spots to leave your phone, and leave it there and only there, no matter what. if the place of the house keys is in a backpack pocket, don't put them down anywhere for even a second. keep them in your hand until you can put them back. if you have to take some pills at a certain time and some other just during the day, try to take them all at once so you don't mix up which one you took. you might struggle at first, but give it a few weeks and it will be worth it. if you can ask for help from a family member to remind you in the beginning.

if possible, separate your work environment from your relax environment. the brain works by association. if you associate sitting at the desk with work and laying on the bed with free time, in time simply switching place will help you slide in the right mindset.

using music as background noise is tricky. sometimes I prefer absolute silence, others the music will cover distractions and the change of tune snap me back to reality after getting lost in thoughts. it variates. only notice, if you like to sing, avoid anything with lyrics. you don't need the temptation ;). video-games' background music is one of the best options, because you're already used to its presence and not paying attention to it.

always have snacks and water in range. it makes it harder to forget to eat/drink if it's in sight.

find your limits and respect them. if my brain stops working properly after 6pm or tot hours of intense effort, pushing it much farther will do more harm than good. toeing the line little by little is fine, but all at once is just asking for headaches.

give into your hyperfixations any time you can afford it. actually managing to do something and learning new stuff is not only useful, but will also give you a boost of dopamine!!! :D

also, I find that having something always running in the back of my head actually helps! I mean, my mind is going to wander and get lost no matter what, but if I at least have an idea of where it's trying to go snapping myself back to reality is much easier. furthermore, if my brain keeps going back to "that one character that is in a situation" or "that curious and inconvenient scenario the protagonist is tuck into" or again a strange riddle that won't leave my thoughts, there's less space for intrusive thoughts of anxiety and paranoia to form and I have some control on where random thoughts are going to go.

no matter the workload, find a way to set aside some time every day or one day a week that is 100% obligations free. you need the time to unwind, rest and regenerate. choosing always the same time is best, because, you know, routine, but having that free time is just as important as getting stuff done. "there's a test the day after my day off? ok, I'll study, I'll rest the day after. but if anything tries to bother me then, heads will roll and I won't be held accountable for my actions.". this kind of thing.

this is all that comes to mind right now, so I'll end it here. this stuff is a mix of hard earned experience and advice I picked up here and there from adhd psychologists and neuropsychiatrists, hyperfixation fueled research and comparing notes with my sister (my main reference for "not me adhd"). and, by the way, talking to other people with adhd relieves stress like you wouldn't imagine, so, if you can, try to find someone else with adhd to just, talk. joy is having a conversation, interrupting it to look at a cool frog together and pick right back up like nothing happened. (I love my sis :)<3)

hope it was helpful and that you can take something useful for yourself from this!<3 rant

#ask #anon! #lovely anon! #infodumping unlocked! #adhd #adhd tips #living with adhd #not an expert #but I have known I have it and have lived with it for over 13 years so I think I am pretty close to being one if I can say so myself! #:)<3

[uravichii]

Hi! Can you show your wip?? It's okay if you don't have any or don't want to!

HELLOO i just started writing again this week so yea here's what i got in my drafts rn >< i haven't deciced on the titles yet ,, but lmk which ones you guys want to see first !!

roommate!shinsou, mutual pining, friends-to-lovers, sexual tension 🙏 (requested)

"you hated it that much? i thought for sure you'd have a good time with him. he's... fun. he's sweet. he'sー "

"he's not you."

shinsou blinks, willing his love-stupid brain to believe his ears. he opens his mouth to speak, then closes it. he turns his head to the side, his hand drawing to the nape of his neck as he glances at you sheepishly.

he lets the silence linger until he makes up his mind. he clears his throat with a determined stareー why back out now? he's wanted this for so long.

"hey." he croaks, "i'm going to kiss you."

best-friends-to-lovers with bakugou 😫 mutual pining ofc, lots of kisses 💋

"well..." you meekly look aside, fiddling with his thumb. "what if we were best friends who... occasionally kiss?"

"fuck no. i've had 'nough of that."

OKAYYY this sounds weird but todoroki shouto w/ a lowkey masochistic reader 😭 HEAR ME OUT !! s/o reads a lot of shoujo manga n basically asks shouto to act like one of those rude, arrogant male leads for a few days 😁 (sfw with a liiiittle bit of spice)

you wonder if you could even push his buttonsー what would your sweet, tenderhearted boyfriend look like when he's furious at you? if he's even capable, that is.

"shou?" you let the shoujo manga fall on your lap as you stare up at your boyfriend, batting your pretty lashes at him. "can i get a kiss?"

he smiles softly before smoothing his palms down your hair, flattening them down to the sides of your neck. he gently angles your face up to his, and it's not surprising when he kisses you so softly and brief, as if the slightest bit of pressure of his lips against yours could burn you.

shouto pulls away and smiles. you clear your throat.

"oh, sorry. i meant, can you pin me to the wall, roughly grab my face, and then give me a kiss?"

insomniac shinsou x sleepy reader <- a match made in heaven

"yeah." he snorts. "i think at one point i just stopped breathing just so i wouldn't wake you."

“idiot." you chuckle; he smiles. "what do you even do when i fall asleep on our dates? you know, to pass the time?"

'oh nothing, i tidy up your room a little, fill up your ice traysー oh and then i stare at your sleeping form until there's tears forming in my eyes becauseー god, what did i ever do to deserve someone as beautiful as you? you're an angel. what are you doing with a person like me?"

"i fill up your ice trays." he says blankly. no, he's not about to scare you away like that.

here's some of my other wips but like,, i can't show any snippets yet (bc they don't exist yet)

bakugo acting dramatic bc he loves being babied by his s/o (drabble)

high school crush part 3 !! - bnha boys crushing on you in high school (hcs)

domestic (hcs) 🙏

accidental i love you's (hcs)

bakugo letting you put makeup on him bc he made u mad n apparently that's the only way he can earn your forgiveness 😍 (drabble)

#( 💬 ) chats #no i actually want u guys to lmk which one/s u want to see first 😵 so send asks mhehr ily

[nerice]

alright. figure i'll make this post before im getting got by the sadness too hard,,, also bc it'll be past midnight by the time i'm done typing this up which will put it into proper anniversary territory so,, weird long crypost just bear with me i have 2 do this for myself ;;

i care ocs. if you know anything abt me it's probably that. im only alive bc of writing it's the only thing that makes life bearable and that's why i stick around. and in 2013, i happened to pick up art bc if i'm not gonna draw my ocs who will. that was five years into oc verse even if i didn't conceptualize it as such yet & alrdy a year into the profoundly normal era that continues to this day known as [still not calm abt sky plot] i cannot elaborate. if you know u know. enter the night. iykyk etc. i was not normal abt it when this song freshly delivered an entire new (and first proper,) au/canon divergence into my brain exactly 10 years ago >>>

& i have been extremely not normal wormed eeled yelling losing it etc every single hyperobsessed verb you can think of abt this story corner and this song for ten freaking years. baby me had only been drawing for a couple of months and was given an entire psychic vision for a lyricstuck/songdraw however u wanna call it in current vernacular. the full five minute song. i've written that corner ofc but just like the shape of tge is screenplay i know the shape of this has to be a full animation. im ngl with you when i say the main reason i have wanted to improve at art at any point was so i could animate this one day. nd i was content just drawing whatever i want and not slaving away at this project until i felt i could tackle it. and then 2022 happened and broke me and when i was in the hospital with that stupid ass heart issue i was terrified i'd die without ever seeing this through. and so i swore that after thesis, come november, i'd fully dedicate myself to art improvement so that for the 10yr anniversary in late september 2023 i'd have a version of it. even if it's sucky even if it's janky ofc it would never have been the full cinematic animation (not yet) rough animatic, even static lyric panels just set to the music, whatever. just have a version of it. it's what got me through thesis, in the end. and you know how this story ends

my wrist exploded (rsis what ever we are sticking with the meme)

tbh i was holding out hope until a few months ago. bc one evening in late 2020 [*holds a moment of wistful silence*] i got possessed and thumbnailed 80% of the thing (minus the 1min sequence of three different fight scenes. problem for future future me) so maybe if i just compiled those to the song n sketched over it doing one panel a day............. but it just wasn't possible. i have to rest my wrist and rushing thru a bad grief-sticken rendition of this project and probably ruining my wrist for good in the process just isn't worth it. so as nice as it would have been to have even the most rudimentary version to post on the 10 year anniversary of arguably the thing that changed my life and made me want to live and write and draw and improve forever, it's not happening. we are here and i cannot tell when i'll ever be able to draw again so all i can do is look through those thumbnails from 2020, and dream,,,,,

maybe 2024, boys. maybe 2024.......... time is fake & clean anniversaries are overrated anyways u,______,u

#typing this was alrdy too much for my wrist. i have nothing more to say here that is not going to break my heart further #elia txts #still not calm abt sky plot 2k23 #not gonna put this in any other tags bc i don't want to be reminded of this. i can't bear it #one day. one day..................... unless my heart fucks me over

[milliumizoomi]

Tiktok Challenge: Take it

Pairings: Midoriya x POC Fem! Reader, Bakugou x POC Fem! Reader, Kirishima x POC Fem! Reader

All characters aged up!

For those who don’t know the dance, here.

A/n: I literally just saw this on tiktok and went Y E S💀

Midoriya

So lemme give y’all he run down.. my manz was OUT

Like on the street when this happened

He was out with the boys of class 1-A

They was just chilling having a nice time yk

While you were with the girls of class 1-A at home

Basically y’all had a girls and boys day

The boys had gone to a movie and then a restaurant to go eat.

They had already ordered so they was just waiting

Things get hot from here luv👀

They were all on they phones and signing autographs

Cuz ppl recognized them

Then all of a sudden Kaminari literally SCREAMED out

“MIDORIYA! YO YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS!” Kaminari yelled sticking the phone in Midoriya’s face

“Alright! Just calm down Kaminari you’re drawing attention!” Midoriya answered.

“Damn loud mouth” Bakugou chimed in too. “Nerd lemme see what that dumbass was so hyped for anyways.” He said again.

“Alright Kacchan but I haven’t seen it either-“

“Just shut up and watchhhh!” Kaminari urged.

They all just rolled their eyes and soon enough all the boys, including Kaminari, crowed around the phone.

And when I tell you their jaws dropped to the FLOOR

It was on tiktok was of you ofc and you were with the other girls doing the dance

Mind y’all, y’all were wearing the little pajamas the he absolutely loves on you, which were these.

So when y’all was lifting up your legs and y’all thang was thanging, nobody could move

They were stuck, especially Midoriya

His eyes was just following you. Your braids were swings and your skin was glowing.

And luv best not forget that your nails were done.

You and Mina did the dance together and when I tell you it was just ass and thighs EVERYWHERE.

And then the others girls hyping y’all up in tha back.

They was clapping ‘nd making people know wassup

And not to mention the comments, they were thirsty asl.

You had guys and girls in your comments talking bout some “ma I’m tryna treat you right” and “damn girl you gotta man👀”

Dudes literally said power off like not one even fidgeted

Next thing yk you at home with the girls getting all these texts from the Midoriya

He saying “Angel.. My love.. I saw you dancing on Tiktok with the girls.. I’m not sure what you think you doing yk all that’s for me”

GIRL YOU WERE SHOOKKKK

Like is this the same man who be stuttering over his words 24/7??

Talking to you like this??

Chile..in the next couple minutes, the girls were outta the house while Midoriya hauled ass to the room with you over his shoulder.

Bakugou

So boom (no pun intended💀🤚🏽)

My man was working

Just in his office, doing some paperwork at his agency then later he was supposed to go on patrol

He was just minding his business, just doing his job

That was until the bakusquad started FaceTiming him none stop

Like ignored the call ATLEAST 5 times but they would not give up

He eventually just got fed up with the constant calls and answered the phone

“What the hell do you want?! Do you realize I’m working?!” Bakugou yelled at them, rolling his eyes.

“Dude you are NOT gonna be working when we show you this video..!” SERO said having a nervous grin

“Hah? What video?! You called me for a stupid ass video?!” Bakugou called out.

“Trust me Bakugou.. you’re gonna find it far from stupid” Mina chimes in, scratching her head

“Y-“ Bakugou started.

“No shush, I’m gonna send it to the chat now” Kaminari said

“.. Did dunce face just shush me?!” Bakugou said.

“We’ll talk about that later..! Now watchhhh” Kirishima said.

“Whatever” Bakugou said as he rolled eyes and went to the chat.

He clicked on the video and when I tell you he literally CHOKED

His brain? Factory Resarted

Who do you think you are shaking your ass like that all up in the camera

And it made it no better that you were doing this in one his custom made hoodie after the shirt he had in high school.

The bakusquad was laughing at Bakugou cuz manz looked like he was DROOLING

“Ight ima talk to y’all later I got an important phone call to make..” Bakugou said and hung up and called your ass IMMEDIATELY

You was just chilling when you got the call and when I tell you this man told you ALL the things he was finna do to you when he got home

Girl the hairs in your head was shaking

Your braids? They were shivering and that don’t happen much

Miss maam when he got home..

Let’s just say he had your black behind walking like your legs were broken the next day

Kirishima

The poor man was in a interview

ON LIVE TELEVISION

And you gon’ do him like this???

He was in the middle of answering the interviewer’s questions when his phone just started buzzing nonstop

He wanted to look but once again.. ✨live television✨

He had to ignore them until the commercial break but he was glad that nobody could hear it buzzing

After the break came on he hurried to look at his phone quickly

Now to side track I just KNOW this man follow you on tiktok I just know it.

And your notification was on his phone but he ain’t see it and went straight to where Kaminari and Mina were spamming his messages

One of Kaminari’s said

“IDK IF YOU GOT THE NOTIFICATION BUT YOU NEED TO GO ON Y/N’S TIKTOK RN”

Kirishima was L O S T

He read the rest of Kaminari’s messages the went to Mina’s where she was basically saying the same thing

Mina was saying “KIRIII YOUR GIRL GETTING IT ON TIKTOK AND SHE LOOKING FINE TOOO”

Now he was like “hmmm I gotta see this now”

So he closed out of his messages and went on tikitok and when he opened it immediately yours was the first to pop up and it had thousands of likes

He froze at the sight of you.

There you were, in the female version of his hero costume.

Shaking your thicc behind self all up in the screen

Even when you was barely moving everything was jiggling

Manz had to cover his phone and hurry to put it in his pocket when the commercial break was over

He was literally SWEATING while his mini ‘shima was abt to make an appearance in this interview if these ppl ain’t hurry up

He could not focus at all

He was fidgeting all over the place and all he could think of was you in a recreation of his hero costume

He looked EVERYWHERE but at the interviewer so he wouldn’t crack

Best believe when that interview was over than man moved like the he was running for his life

Manz was GONE in the blink of an eye

Them interviewers while so confused when Kirishima was screaming thank you at them while he bolted out the door.

Meanwhile you just finished making some other tiktoks to post later

Mind you, you had already changed out of your costume

When all of a sudden, in a matter of minutes, the door just busted open with Kirishima huffin’ and puffin’ at the door.

Manz was look mad ASF

Girl u almost pitched right tf over

You went to swinging cuz the door was right behind you and you almost hit him until he grabbed your hand mid swing

When you looked up and realized it was him chile ya whole body relaxed

“DAMMIT! Eiji you scared the crap outta me! Don’t do that!” You screamed

“Be quiet brat..” Kirishima growled.

“Eiji what are you- AYE! BOY IF YOU DONT PUT ME DOWN!” You screamed when he threw you over his shoulder.

“I saw your Tiktok babe.. you looked so hot dressed up like me.. but you were shaking what’s mines.. you know better..” He said lowly.

You was trying your best to break free but my man had the grip of steel on you

You knew you wasn’t going nowhere soon

And chileeee...

The next few days after that, walking was a difficult task.

©Property of Miashimaa. Please don’t rectify, repost or modify without my permission.

Taglist: @uniquabackyardigans @haikyu-whore @kiribis-confesion-page (Open, but please specify which taglist you want to be added to)

#{📝}—a.scribbles #bakugou x black reader #bakugou x poc!reader #bakugou x reader #kirishima x black reader #kirishima x poc!reader #kirishima x reader #midoriya x black reader #midoriya x poc!reader #midoriya x reader

[bonjour-rainycity]

Double Heart | Chapter Nineteen ~ Haldir

|previous part|

Pairing: Haldir x OFC

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 3722

Warnings: None

A/n I’m back bay-beeeee!!! Thank you for your patience while I took a few weeks off to finish school. I did something kinda stupid and booked a full semester of classes for the summer session *pained smile* and asked for more shifts at work *pained smile*. So! In light of this ~questionable~ choice, I'm changing my update schedule. Updates will now come for sure once a week on Wednesdays, with the occasional bonus chapter. Thanks for understanding, and happy reading! 

I leave Cosima at her door.

I’m surprised by how much of my willpower it takes to walk away.

Now that I know what it’s like to hold her close, to feel her lips on mine, to hear her say that she loves me, I find it incredibly difficult to distance myself. I want more of her. I want to jump head-first into the ocean that is Cosima and allow myself to drown.

Though, I suppose, that is exactly what I am doing. Because loving her will be the death of me.

But denying the need to be with her is an even worse fate. And, by the way she seems to wholeheartedly return my affections, she feels the same.

Regardless, I have yet to even officially ask if I can court her — I have no right to invite myself into her chambers, especially not for the night. So, I return to my room. Thankfully, Rumil is still out. He adores Cosima almost as much as I do, but I guarantee he will not be pleased by the development in our relationship—understandably. Choosing to bind myself to a mortal means something difficult for my family. I will have to tell them soon, but not tonight. I don’t want to tarnish the euphoria my time with Cosima has given me.

I fall into bed.

I should be exhausted. After all, deciding to stop fighting reason and giving in to what I’ve been resisting for so long is quite tiring.

But every time I close my eyes, I remember Cosima looking up at me, dazed and adoring, the way her lips searched after mine, the way she looked when I told her how I felt.

It makes for quite a restless night.

{***}

My day seems endless. Every meeting, every drill, every task, my mind is consumed with Cosima. Now that I know I can hold her, kiss her, openly declare my affections, that is all I want to do. With every free moment in my day, I fight the urge to seek her out. We have plans to meet for dinner, and I anchor myself in that — I will see her then.

After a long day of agony, the time for dinner arrives.

When I hear the knock on my open door, I have to force myself not to run across the room. I take a deep breath when I reach the door, trying to push myself into my usual state of self-assurance. Once I’ve got myself under control, I open the door.

And the assurance vanishes.

Cosima steps into my room, beautiful and lovely as ever, wearing for the first time in all that I’ve known her, a shy smile. I understand it. Though we have been alone a thousand times before, and been friends for what feels like ages, after last night, everything feels new, unsure.

I close the door behind her.

“How was your day,” she asks, fiddling with her fingers.

I smile, trying to act normal. “It was alright.” I step forward, as close to her as I dare. The brilliant light of the sunset dances across her hair and I can’t help reaching up a hand to trace over the waves. “I admit though, I found myself quite distracted.”

She grins and quirks an eyebrow, already seeming much more like herself. “Would you like to tell me why?”

I dip my head closer to hers. “I’d wager you can guess.”

I press my lips to hers, all at once feeling the elation that comes with doing so and the anxiety that she will push me away and ask what in the Valar I think I’m doing. For all I know, last night could have been a fluke. She could have changed her mind.

But her lips move against mine and her hands find the back of my neck, holding me in place, and my worry vanishes. It is replaced by a new feeling, one that clouds my brain and blocks out everything around me except for her.

Cosima pulls away and rests her forehead against mine, looking up at me with wide, vulnerable eyes. “So you haven’t changed your mind?”

Oh, how alike we are. I take her hand, wrapping my other around her waist. It feels so strange to interact with someone like this. Not strange in a bad way—not at all—but I have spent my entire life keeping my distance from others. Never in over three thousand years have I wanted to take someone in my arms and hold them as close to me as possible. I squeeze the hand in mine. “No, I have not. And I won’t change my mind. I meant what I said last night. I choose you today and I will choose you for the rest of my life.”

She lets out a shuddering breath, her hand tensing on my shoulder. “I shouldn’t let you.”

Despite the concern I feel for her—I can see that my words have caused her a measure of stress—my lips quirk in a smile. “Cosima, I am fully grown and capable of making my own choices, just as you are. Though you can send me away if you wish—that is your right—it would not stop me from loving you.”

She sighs somewhat sadly, but she raises on her toes and kisses me again. “Well, you’ve got me completely besotted, so congratulations.”

I laugh, relieved to hear the words and to see that the sadness has left her eyes. I bury my face in her neck, hugging her tightly. “I guess that’s good to hear.”

She jabs her elbow into my ribs, presumably at my sarcasm, which only makes me laugh harder. She pushes against my chest, raising up for another kiss, when a knock sounds through the room.

We freeze.

Thank Valar I shut the door.

As if agreeing to an unspoken plan, Cosima hurries to sit at the small table where the dinner plates I have for us are set. Her presence shouldn’t be anything to cause alarm—we are well-known friends—though, I suppose, we have been avoiding each other for months.

I hold back a sigh. Yes, her presence probably will raise an eyebrow or two.

Once she’s settled, I roll back my shoulders and assume a neutral expression, opening my door.

It’s Orophin and Lavandil.

I smile, moving out of the way so they can enter, and welcome them in.

“Cosima.” Orophin falters upon noticing her presence.

She smiles and waves, standing from the table and joining us in the center of the room. “Hey, what’s up?”

Orophin glances between my human companion and myself. “I…” He furrows his eyebrows, obviously trying to draw a connection between Cosima, the closed door, and my hopefully neutral expression. I don’t think he gets there. “I am glad to see the two of you have reconciled,” he says finally, nodding at us both.

Lavandil, on the other hand, has her eyes blown wide. She stares pointedly at Cosima, looking like it’s taking all the effort in the world not to run over to her and demand an explanation. Cosima’s stoicism is not as practiced as mine, and she breaks eye contact under Lavandil’s stare, looking at the ceiling instead.

We’ll have to work on that later.

“What brings you here,” I ask, hoping to redirect the focus.

My question has an unintended effect. Orophin and Lavandil exchange glances, a weight seeming to fall on both of their shoulders.

Orophin clasps his hands behind his back, looking me square in the eye. He takes a deep breath. “I am staying in Imladris.”

Cosima makes an audible intake of breath.

I don’t move.

Orophin continues, hurrying to explain himself. “I know this seems sudden, but the thought has weighed on my mind for a while.”

Again, I say nothing.

My mind runs through a million things at once, analyzing previous conversations, expressions, looking for any clue that this was coming. In hindsight, there are many. How could I have missed the signs?

Orophin takes a step forward. “Brother, it…it is getting more dangerous in this world by the day. I understand my duty to my people but I will not leave Lavandil unprotected.”

I can respect that.

My eyes involuntarily turn to Cosima.

I can understand that.

There is nothing in this world that could stop me from doing all that I can to keep her safe.

I nod slowly, turning my gaze back to my brother and his love. “You are released from your duties until you decide to reclaim them. I wish you both all the happiness in the world.”

Orophin’s shoulders sag, his face breaking into an expression of relief. “Thank you, Haldir.”

Lavandil’s eyes shine and she steps forward, giving me a pleading look. “I’m sorry.”

Voices overlap as Orophin, Cosima, and I all hurry to reassure her that she has nothing to be sorry for. Lavandil smiles, still teary-eyed, though thankfully the guilt has faded from her face. She turns to Cosima, eyes softening. “I will miss you, mellon nîn.”

I watch Cosima closely. She blinks rapidly and, when she speaks, her voice is scratchy with emotion. “I’ll miss you, too.”

{***}

Orophin and Lavandil stay for dinner. The four of us talk, laugh, and carefully avoid the subjects of our impending departure from each other. When I shut the door behind them, a heavy realization make me want to slump my shoulders.

I will miss my brother.

Of course I am happy for him — he will no longer be separated from his love — but it is still sad to leave him behind, especially as this world becomes more and more perilous. Here in Imladris, he will be out of my control. I won’t be able to keep him safe.

I turn to Cosima, noticing the tracks of tears that run down her cheeks. I sigh, holding a hand out to her which she takes readily.

I pull her into a hug and rest my cheek against the top of her head. “Are you okay?”

She laughs without humor, burying her face in my chest. “Are you?”

I ignore the question. “I know you and Lavandil have become close.”

Cosima sighs, nodding. “I don’t think I actually ever considered that we would be leaving here. All the friendships I’ve made, all the things I’ve come to love about Imladris…I’m going to be leaving it all behind. It’s just,” she sighs again, her arms tightening around my back. “I don’t remember my home, but Imladris has become what I think a home would be.”

I purse my lips, feeling guilty. I didn’t consider how all this would affect her, though, now that I think about it, it is sure to. “Lavandil and Orophin will visit. I am even sure you will see Elrond again before long. And, should you desire it, Lothlórien will be your home. My people will be yours, they will welcome you and care for you as their own. It will become your world as much as it is mine.”

She exhales shakily and smiles up at me, giving me a look of adoration that takes my breath away. I bring a hand to her face, catching the tears before they can run into her smile.

“Thank you,” she breathes. She kisses me quickly on the lips before pulling away, wiping her tears and rolling her eyes. “Come on, I’ll stop crying so we can finish dinner.”

I laugh and follow her back to the table.

{***}

The next morning, I meet Cosima at her door. She smiles up at me, eyes still glazed slightly with sleep. She steps back, pulling the door with her to allow room for me to enter. Upon seeing the guest I’ve brought with me, her eyes widen.

“Good morning, Cosima,” I greet swiftly, knowing she won’t be pleased with my ambush.

Predictably, she purses her lips together, crosses her arms over her chest, and raises an eyebrow in my direction. “I told you, I will not be wearing that bulky, hot armor for the trip. There’s no need to bring a seamstress to measure me.”

At my side, Galina the seamstress shifts uncertainly.

I fix my gaze on Cosima, clasping my hands behind my back. “And I told you that you will be traveling as a member of my company, and as a member of my company, you are required to adhere to safety measures that I, the commander, deem fit.”

I’m used to glares.

Enemies, wardens, my brothers when they were children — all have given me scathing looks before, and it never bothered me. But the fire behind Cosima’s eyes puts all that experience to shame.

I remind myself to stand my ground.

Regardless of her personal feelings towards the armor, it will keep her safe. And I’m not even putting her in that much — just chainmail over her neck, arms, and torso. Alexander will be required to wear it as well.

She knows this of course, and still isn’t pleased.

But she throws her arms out to the side, allowing the seamstress to do her work. She stares me down the whole time, eyes narrowed, chin raised, face impassable.

Is this what I look like?

Galina takes the measurements and leaves quickly, off to Alexander’s chambers and then to the armory. I talked to Alexander earlier and he has no qualms with wearing the armor, so why is Cosima putting up such a fight?

The door closes behind Galina, and Cosima crosses her arms over her chest. “One of these days, I’m going to ambush you, see how you like it,” she mutters, continuing to glare at me.

I give her a stern look. “You know my reasoning and I will not be moved on this. In Imladris or Lothlórien it is different, but on the road, I am in charge of ensuring the safety of every member of my company. Were you anyone else, I would still insist on the armor — no one travels without it. You can imagine I am doubly focused on safeguarding the woman I love.”

Her expression softens. She smiles somewhat begrudgingly. “I guess I can’t fault you for that.”

I return her smile and take a step in her direction, pleased to be on good terms again.

The eyebrow shoots back up and her eyes narrow once more.

I freeze mid-step.

“But I can fault you for showing up so early in the morning with Galina without a minute of warning! I’m still in my pajamas!”

I raise an eyebrow to match hers. “I highly doubt you would have gone to the seamstress willingly.”

She huffs. “Maybe I would had I known the alternative was a sneak attack.” But despite her words, the playfulness returns to her eyes. She extends a hand in my direction. I close the distance between us, taking the offering gladly.

I decide to push my luck. “I must admit, I find the sight of you in your pajamas quite endearing.”

Cosima snorts, laying her head against my chest. “Yeah, well get ready to be endeared for three weeks straight. I’m only wearing old tunics on the road — I’m not risking ruining any of the new things from Lavandil.” A pause, and she sighs. She moves her head back so she can see me. “What are we going to do on the road?”

I furrow my eyebrows. “I don’t follow your meaning.”

“Are we going to tell your brothers,” she clarifies, shrugging her shoulders, “or are we going to pretend that we haven’t…” She huffs, searching for her words, “changed the nature of our relationship?”

“Right.” I take a deep breath.

I dread telling my brothers. While I am elated at finally being with Cosima, I know my brothers are likely to focus less on my happiness and more on my impending demise. I’m the one in love, and I struggled for months with the reality of my choice. Regardless, it is important to tell them soon. Hiding it would only make it worse. “I would prefer to tell them before we leave Imladris. I don’t want to waste any time with you pretending we’re not together, especially since they’re going to find out eventually, anyway.”

She nods, looking up at me in understanding. “Whenever you’re ready. I suppose we’ll have to tell Alex, too.”

I fight the urge to grimace.

She sees right through it. She laughs, pushing against my chest. “He’s gotten so much better and you know it.”

“True,” I allow. Learning Sindarin and researching his condition have done wanders for his personally — I would say the man is nearly tolerable by now.

Of course, that is likely to change on the road when he is away from his books and under my command.

“Oh, and once we tell your brothers, I want to tell Lavandil, too,” Cosima reminds me. “She’s been rooting for us.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Rooting for us? I didn’t even know she was aware of our mutual interest.”

Cosima grins guiltily. “You may have come up in conversation once or twice.”

I roll my eyes, trying to cover up how pleased I am. “Well, there’s no sense in delaying it. I had planned to dine with my brothers after training tonight. Would you like to join us? We can tell them then.”

She nods, taking a deep breath. “Sounds good. Oh, and I guess Baranor will need a heads up as well.” She scrunches up her eyebrows. “Gosh, that’s a lot of telling. Can’t we just send out a newsletter?”

I laugh, pulling her back against my chest. “If only it were that easy.”

{***}

My brothers and I dine in Cosima’s chambers. Her seating area is larger, the table as well, and I’d rather tell them in the privacy of her room than in the dining hall where anyone could react.

Rumil suspects.

From the moment I asked him to meet in Cosima’s room, suspicion entered his eyes. He had passed through the doorway warily, looking as if he expected some sort of ambush. When he locked eyes with Cosima, he had given her a meaningful, almost pleading look.

Orophin, on the other hand, walks in hesitantly, shooting nerves glances towards Rumil, and I wonder how Rumil took the news of Orophin deciding to stay in Imladris. By the tension I notice between them, it didn’t go exceedingly well.

I feel a bout of anxiety for my youngest brother.

The four of us gather in the seating area. Cosima babbles nervously, telling my brothers every minute detail of her day. They appear politely interested, but I know by the distant looks in both of their eyes that they are lost in their own worries.

No sense in dragging this out.

I can tell I surprise everyone when I take the spot on the couch next to Cosima rather than the empty armchair. My brothers freeze, exchanging a look. Cosima glances up at me, her eyes wide and nervous.

I take a deep breath. “Orophin, Rumil, I suspect you have been aware of my feelings for Cosima for quite some time. I discovered recently that she returns them, and we have committed ourselves to each other.”

Silence.

Rumil clenches his jaw. “Have you bonded?”

“No—“

“—then there is still time!”

“But I intend to,” I finish, hating the way my youngest brother visibly wilts at my words.

With wide eyes, Orophin glances between myself and Cosima. “My friend, you know I mean no offense, but—” he shakes his head, turning his whole focus to me. “Haldir you cannot tie yourself to a human. You will die.”

Cosima sucks in a sharp breath, eyes falling to the ground.

I take her hand in mine, keeping my gaze steady on my brother. “I know.”

“Then you are a fool!” Rumil’s shout shocks us all with its volume. He stands and grips the back of the chair, looking ill.

Orophin groans, resting his elbow on his knee and bringing a hand to rub at his temple. “You have to know how ridiculous this is. There are a thousand other elleth out there. Save your eternity and use it to find one you could love.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Could you leave Lavandil behind and search for another?”

Orophin grits his teeth. “That’s different. Our lives are compatible.”

“Are they? Though you are both eldar, your relationship is not without sacrifice. For years, the two of you sacrificed being with each other to continue your usual lives. Now, you’re sacrificing your home, your career, and your family because your love is worth it. Allow me the dignity to choose my own sacrifice.”

Orophin’s breath catches in his throat. His pained face falls into hopelessness, and he shrugs his shoulders. “So we are to resign ourselves to a handful of years left with you?”

In my hand, Cosima’s begins to shake.

I bring her hand to my lips, pressing a kiss on its back. I address my brothers once more. “I have had over three thousand years in this world. I count myself blessed to spend the remainder of those days, however long they may be, in the company of those I love.”

Orophin’s mouth goes slack. He looks between Cosima and myself, and, vaguely, I wonder what sort of picture we paint. An elf and a human.

“I cannot say that I am not saddened by your choice, nor that I understand it. But if it has to be a human, then I am glad it is you, Cosima.” Orophin, Valar bless him, tries for a smile in Cosima’s direction. It’s strained and sad, but it’s an effort — one I am very thankful for.

Rumil hasn’t moved.

Cosima looks to him, worry in her eyes, and I remember how close she and my brother are. Right from the start, he has been one of her closest friends, and it must hurt her to be at odds with him, to know that something she can’t control is causing him pain.

When she speaks, her voice is fragile, vulnerable. “Rumil?”

He continues to grip the back of the chair and looks to the ground, avoiding our eyes. He grits his teeth. “Stay away from me, both of you.”

And he storms out of the room.

A/n Likes, comments, and reblogs are always cherished <3 Hope you’re doing well! (But its okay if you’re not!)

|next chapter|

|masterlist|

Tolkien tag list: @anangelwhodidntfall @eru-vande

Haldir tag list: @tolkien-apologist @that-cute-stranger

Double Heart tag list: @lainphotography @themerriweathermage @thophil2941btw @kenobiguacamole @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @from-patroclus-with-love @boywivlove @ordinarymom1 @my-darling-haldir @sweet-bea-blossom @moony-artnstuff @sleepyamygdala @thranduilseyebrows

**Strikethrough means Tumblr won’t let me tag you :(**

#haldir #haldir x ofc #haldir x oc #haldir fanfic #haldir fanfiction #rumil #orophin #double heart

[slothspaghettiwrites]

04. Bonding

04. Bonding - Sleepless In Stark Towers

Story Rating: Explicit, 18+ only

Warnings: Cyberbullying, toxic relationship, pining, developing relationship, sleepless idiots, poor proofreading

Relationships: Tony Stark x Plus Size!Reader/OFC 

Word Count: 2772

Summary: Your laptop finally dies a hero's death, but not without Tony trying to save it for you.

A/N: This is pretty darn fluffy, I think.

<< 03. Dinner at the Tower | 05. The Break Up >>

I stared at the budget I had started over three years ago when I had gotten my first job. It was a pathetic attempt to plan a life outside of my parents’ reach, to save up enough to move out as soon as possible. Look where it had gotten me now? Making a pros and cons list in a second sheet for becoming some kind of camgirl or stripper. Pros currently included money, increased exercise, and probably praise. Cons, however, were much longer and included things like body shaming, time taken up to work/create a following, shame in general, societal pressure, body hate, anxiety, and fear of being found out. 

My phone said it was three in the morning. I wasn’t supposed to spend so much time on this, it was only supposed to be a half hour's worth of work, but my brick of a computer kept overheating and then freezing. Now it had just shut down for the second time that night. 

“Maybe if I just get hit by a bus, things will get better,” I grumbled at my laptop. 

The kitchen was quiet, Peter had gone to bed shortly after we finished building a tiny replica of the London skyline. Apparently, it had been a gift from Thor, who had recently come back from the British capital. There was a quick photoshoot that followed where we pretended to Godzilla the city, but he was yawning and barely sitting upright so I shooed him off to his room and told him I would clean up. It was the least I could do since he paid for dinner. Well, Tony paid for dinner because all Peter did was ask JARVIS to order a bunch of Chinese food. 

Anyway, I was at a standstill now. My calendar had marked three to seven for sleep so Pete and I could leave together to go to classes, but the guilt of not getting enough done in the day mixed with being here at Stark Towers was making my brain overheat more than my stupid laptop. I picked up my phone and got on Instagram because why not deal with that problem now. 

A red speech bubble bar appeared at the bottom of my screen. At the very top was a post I had been tagged in by that Brooklyn charcoal artist account. “Felt inspired by a recent work from @ThatArtGirl…” The charcoal life drawing depicted a hunched over man with his face hidden in dark shadow, but the harsh light source in the work illuminated stretch marks that covered the chiseled surface of his side and biceps. I immediately liked the image and commented, heart fluttering in my chest. My thumb hovered over the direct message icon for a moment. 

“You probably get these kinda messages all the time, but your art really inspires me to work harder and to really think about the world around me. Thank you for sharing your work with the world…

And if you ever wanna talk about art, I’m always game.”

I went back to the notification screen after sending that stupid cringe message I was sure would be ignored. At the first word, the fluttering in my chest screeched to a halt. The small smile on my face fell and was replaced with my teeth fusing together at my jaw clenched. At the very bottom was one of a handful of comments I’d ever gotten from Nathan. Delete this.

“What are you still doing up?”

I slammed my phone, screen side, down and my breath caught in the back of my throat. Tony was standing in the entryway, dressed in his jeans and an untucked gray button-down shirt.  A blush spread across my cheeks even as I plastered a fake smile on my face. I wanted it to be real, but I felt like I was moments from just falling apart. 

“Sleep is for the weak,” I raised the lukewarm mug of coffee to my lips and tried not to wrinkle my nose at the bitter taste. 

Tony nodded and I made an attempt to turn my laptop back on, anything to keep my mind wandering back to my phone or the man I’d been crushing on senselessly. The screen remained black, even though I knew it was charged. I held the power button down, willing it to boot in any way possible. 

“Do you guys mind if I eat this?” My eyes flicked to him, looking around the door of the fridge and plastic container of fried rice in his hand. 

“You paid for it,” half a smile graced my lips. “Thanks by the way, for dinner and for giving Pete this space and everything. I think he really needed this.”

Tony huffed, not exactly a laugh, but something like that. It was tired and husky. A sound I could drown myself in and die happy because of it. The clattering of cutlery filled the kitchen. It was all too big in that moment and my eye zeroed in discolored keys under my fingers. The ones I’d painted over twice now just in case I somehow forgot how to touch type. Tony cleared his throat, a gentle sound, and looked from my laptop to me back to the device. 

“Do you want me to have a look at that? Unlike Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, you can’t breathe life into a computer with just your fingertips.”

A giggle bubbled up in my stomach and popped out of my mouth. My hand came to rest on my chest, just under the base of my neck as more giggling came out of me. The brilliantly proud smirk that spread across Tony’s face made heat rise from my chest to my cheeks. I took a deep breath through my nose, but the real smile on my face didn’t leave. 

“Sure you don’t have someone waiting for you at home? I don’t wanna keep you away from your family,” my hand remained on my chest, while the other wrapped around my middle. Guarding myself against the blow I had just dealt myself. 

“You aren’t keeping me from anything besides an empty house, Honey. Don’t worry about it, I’m not tired anyway,” he waved his fork at me. “Is there anything on there you need to recover?”

“Uh, no, I keep everything on Google Drive. Too nervous this exact thing would happen.” I dug my middle finger into the soft space above my clavicle, trying to hide the jump in my pulse at the pet name. 

Tony took a few more bite of the cold rice before replacing it in the fridge and dropping the fork in the sink. The traitorous device was handed over to him. Our fingertips brushing, no, ghosting across each other for such a brief moment, I thought I was imagining it. He beckoned me to follow him down the dark hallway back to another lab. This one had one giant workstation but was larger than the lab Peter showed me that first day. Barely lit trophy cases displayed an array of Iron Man suits. I tried not to think about the fact he had just let me into his personal space, the place he clearly worked on his projects. 

He gestured at the couch near his desk on the wall facing out towards the window and the speckled skyline of the city. I tucked my legs under me and just watched the city, letting my mind run circles around what was happening in my life. My best friend, and probably only friend, was Spider-Man. He worked with the Iron Man, Tony Stark. A man who was a genius and a billionaire before he was even a superhero. A man who was 20 something years older than me. A man who I was crushing on so hard, who was just feet away from me, trying to fix my stupid old laptop at three in the morning, despite the fact he had clearly shut off his own computer and lied about not being tired. A man who wasn’t my boyfriend. 

My boyfriend, who wasn’t supportive or understanding of any part of me. A boy who didn’t listen and talked over me when we were out with his friends. A boy who said he was doing me a favor by agreeing to date me, even though he had kissed me first. A boy who told me he loved me then told me I needed to lose some weight. A boy wouldn’t give me the time of day if it didn’t benefit him. 

A shiver ran down my spine and into my arms and legs. I pulled the rolled-up sleeves of my shirt down until they covered my shaking hands. 

“I’m not sure this hunk a junk is saveable,” Tony sighed, dropping a small screwdriver down next to my dissected laptop. 

“Thanks lookin’ at it anyway, Tony. I really appreciate it,” I stood up and walked over to look at it. 

The deconstructed parts that meant nothing to me were lazily thrown into different piles. Something I recognized as a motherboard because of one episode of How It’s Made, looked rusted and covered in some kind of crumbly teal gunk. I should have taken better care of the thing. I shouldn’t have taken it to the art studio or left it running so much. I couldn’t afford to get a new one right now. Can’t be a camgirl without the cam, so I guessed that job was off the table now. 

“I should take better care of my shit,” I mumbled, picking up some kind of metal card. 

“I’m impressed it survived as long as it has,” Tony pushed away from the desk on his wheelie chair and hunched over a crate filled with a whole bunch of wires and other tech things I really didn’t know anything about. When he turned around again, he stood up.

“Here,” he handed me a thin device. “It’s a couple of years old, but it should be fine for writing papers or Netflix.”

“I-I… thank you.”

I hugged Tony. It was a bit awkward, one-handed and with the laptop smooshed between us, but I really couldn’t think of any other way to thank him in that moment. The top of my head just reached his shoulder and I had to tiptoe to wrap my arm over his shoulder to pull him down into the embrace. 

“I’ll give this back to you when you when I‘ve got a new laptop,” I promised, pulling away from the hug. He blinked for a moment. 

“Keep it, Sweetheart. I’m not gonna use it,” he smiled, turning back to his chair. 

Another blush spread across my cheeks, “I, uh, better let you get back to your work.” 

“You can work in here with me if you don’t mind music,” Tony offered, and I accepted by sitting back down on the couch. “JARVIS put on my workshop playlist, volume 4.”

We worked together as AC/DC, Aerosmith, The Kinks, Black Sabbath and so many other classic rock bands filled the air around us. I finished up budgeting, deciding that I would only eat one meal a day from now on to keep food costs down, then started working on a paper for the art history course I was taking. The echo of fingers tapping away filled the lab between songs. It was surprisingly easy, sitting in the same space as Tony, working on our own things. It was like just his presence made it a bit easier to focus. Or maybe it was the incredible computing power of a computer that was from this decade. Who’s to say?

I couldn’t help rocking my head along to the songs, tapping my foot, and shimming my shoulder along to the beat. These were songs that played all the time on the radio at home. Some of my favorites to turn on while driving on a summer night were 80’s rock n roll hair bands that you could air guitar to while you waited for a light to turn green. Occasionally, I’d mumble along to a song, or I would hear Tony hum to the words with his eyes trained on his screen. 

As the sun began to rise, I closed the lid of my fancy new Stark laptop and wandered over to the window to watch the majesty. It really was just glorious up this high, the shadowing of the skyscrapers intensifying as rays of red and orange light emerged from a distant horizon, forcing the deep blue and purple sky into hiding. I rubbed my fingers around the bags under my eyes and stretched.

It was like JARVIS, the computer that runs the tower Peter had explained, knew what I was thinking. As Fortunate Son ended, the hypnotic melody of Scorpions came blasting through the stereo system. My eyes closed against the sight in front of me and I let the guitar wash over me. Muscle memory took over, my sleep-deprived brain checking out for at least the next few minutes, while my hips swished and bopped to the music. Mouthing the words to myself, not really paying attention, in my own little music video. 

“New place to go, I’ve got to leave. It’s time for a show,” I whipped around and pointed at Tony. “Here I am, rock you like a hurricane!”

He pointed back, standing up, “Here I am, rock you like a hurricane!”

We sang along, moving to the heavy guitar riffs and trying to outdo one another with our exaggerated dancing. And when The Clash came on after, I threw my head back and laughed at the irony. I’d beg Tony to stay here, in this moment or any, forever. I felt so free and good. 

“Darlin' you got to let me know, should I stay or should I go?” He sang to me.

“It’s always teasing, tease, tease.” I caught up with the lyrics. 

Tony smiled, flashing a set of near-perfect white teeth and shaking his head. Serenading, if that is what you could call our singing, one another, our work forgotten and minds turned off to anything else. We switched off who would ask the other if they should stay or go and when it got to the Spanish backing, I caught the surprised look on his face when I started singing that section with ease. 

As the music faded, we both flopped down onto the couch, laughing at the ridiculous show we’d just put on for each other. 

“You have excellent taste in music,” I breathed. 

“Just convince Pete of that, would you? I can’t listen to that Harry Styles fucker anymore.” His shoulder shook in silent laughter.

“I’d have better luck strikin’ gold. He thinks my music choices are shit too,” I grinned. 

More music continued to play in the background as we sat and watched the sun continue to break through the morning clouds, but I wasn’t really paying any attention to it now. 

“What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?” I asked, realizing I was running up to 48 hours again.

“I went 72 hours once, but that was a few years ago,” Tony stared off at the sunset. 

“I did that once over the summer, it got a bit weird. Pete has the videos,” I smirked, what did I care if a man way out of my league saw what a weirdo I was?

The alarm on my phone started going off. I picked up the thing, annoyed, but also secretly happy that it would stop me from blurting out any more secrets. 

“Guess that answers the question,” I hummed, sadness taking over my voice. “I should go.”

Fuck your phone alarm. Fuck it being morning. Fuck you leaving for classes with Pete. 

Enclosed in those few hours was probably the closest I’d ever get to having you in my life. Sitting in my lab, on my couch, singing along to music that I liked, while we worked on our projects. It was like having a slice of heaven served to me. You looked so… at home on that couch, working on a machine with my name on it. When the sun started to rise and you stood up, I followed your movements, studying you from behind as you watched the sky wake up. And the dancing, god that had been so fun and goofy, but so sexy too. You moved your body without a care in the world. Shimming and swaying and spinning all while singing along to every word in perfect time. 

“I should have told her to stay,” I muttered from my seat on the couch.

#a sloth writes #tony stark x reader #tony stark x ofc #tony stark x you #tony stark #tony stark fanfic #iron man x reader #iron man x ofc #iron man x you #iron man fanfic #sleepless in stark towers

[aries-writes-shit]

Hello hi uh i hope you are doing well and are staying safe and sanitized during this whole pandemic, um I hope the matchup is still up, if not my apologies uh ig I'll get started :) (platonic or romantic is fine by me, I dont mind either or cuz I honestlydont know what I want heh...ya..) My name is Dioceline (any pronoun is fine by me but people usually go with (she/they), my nickname is Dio or Small as most of my online friends call me. I have been told that I'm very impulsive and funny but im also emotional and I stand up for what I think is right and know when to be serious. I usually take the lead of things if no one else feels comfortable enough to deal with it which has landed me into some trouble in the past but id do it again for my friends because frankly I love and appreciate them and I make sure they know it by drawing them things they love or write poems about what I love about them and what I find beautiful about them every couple of weeks. Im not very big on socializing in person but I'm very bubbly and eager to meet people online (my socialbattery does brain pretty fast so I I ti take a quick nap or go on YT for a bit before I can go back to being stupid), I'm shy at first in person but the longer you get to know me I start to get annoying and very touchy feely cuz I'm ✨touch starved✨. Im 5'7 and a half and I like to flex that I'm taller than most of my family because its known that Mexicans/Hispanics are short asf. I am a Capricorn but I don't really feel connected to my sign so I'll give you my enneagram and my mbti! I'm an Infp-T and my ennegram is 2 wing 1. My music taste is all over the place at all times and I listen to anything as long as the lyrics speak to me or the instruments sound good asf (guitars are my favorite instrument, any type of instrument with strings speak to my soul) but I have been listening to a lot of old rock singers/bands recently like Queen, AC/DC, Hombres G, ABBA, Roger Taylor, Bon Jovi, and a lot of other singers/bands. Now since I've been the middle child of 5 other siblings before my little brother was born I have developed a strange humor, it's very mixed and changes a lot but I adapt and go with the flow of anything as long as it makes people happy and laugh. I usually flirt in very awkward ways like throwing horrid pickup lines at friends or pulling the fuckboy face while saying that they look like the snack that smiles back. It's a form of breaking the ice with a people after ive concluded that I want them in my life cuz idk why but I do so ya (in a platonic way ofc). I tend to get a little overprotective and take the parenteral roll when I hear that one of my friends haven't ate or is being insulting and ir being made uncomfortable. Now for appearance, I smile with my eyes, have a cupid's bow and I have lip asymmetry on my left lip. I have a lot of beauty marks on my face and arms, I have dark brown hair and eyes. I'm on the curvier side, I have really big thighs and my chest is pretty big to so it makes it look like I have somewhat of an hourglass figure which is cool ig. I usually wear shorts and baggy sweaters that are 2 times to big for me, most of my clothes is black except for a couple of red and grey shirts/sweatshirts that I have in my closet. I love music, drawing, painting and pretty much anything to do with art. I also really like Chemistry/Science, English, and Philosophical talks, I like learning about the ocean and space but im to scared to actually go into the ocean and my family never really goes out cuz money issues and stuff but it's nice to see it on the internet. I also really enjoy the company of animals and plants :) ok I think that is all, sorry it was so long I tend to ramble and say things that aren't necessary. OH idk if this would help at all but I want to be a family therapist and will be joining the army next year after I graduate so I can get my degree without getting into terrible debt. Ok now I think that is all, hope you have an amazing day/night and stay safe!

Woah 😳, Why are yall so cool?

I think ima match you with....

C!Philza and C!Techno

Oh no, two protective anachists, what they gonna do

In all seriousness

These two are 100% very protective of you

One of them is always with you

Either making sure your safe

Or just making sure you dont do something to crazy

You play the guitar?

Expect to preform pretend concerts to Phil, Chat, Techno and all technos animals

If neither of the boys can be with you, philza's murder, Chat, as he calls them, would follow you from a distance

Phil would paint with you 100%

Techno wouldnt paint with you two, but he would watch

Philosophical talks with techno

But their like, in like the middle of the night

"Why do you think were here on earth"

"Woah, thats a good question"

Definitely would concern phil, when you two talk about the meaning of life out of nowhere.

They would definitely support your choice of becoming a therapist

And the military as well

Despite fighting for a government

#mcyt matchup #dream smp matchup

[boogiewrites]

Never Break the Chain Pt 5

Part 5 of 5

Characters: Javier Peña x OFC

Summary:  Reunited after their deadly close encounter. They finally have time to ask the right questions and give honest answers.

Warnings/Tags: Sexual Content. Lover’s reunited. Confessions of Love. 

Getting shot was never part of the plan, but it was always an option she had to consider. She was already marked and scarred, not the first time she'd been shot, but the first time in the shoulder. Needless to say, it fucking hurt.

Staggering, bloody through the streets was awkward enough, being shirtless turned it into a circus attraction. She had to shove with her good arm through concerned passersby and made her way as quickly as she could to her bike. It was a good trek, but far away from the action. She had a jacket in the side bag, and that had one problem fixed. The other, a much larger one was leaking out of her sleeve and throbbing through her entire body every time she moved, which was as little as she could manage. Being the sinful girl scout she was, she was always prepared, which meant knowing where she could go if she was shot. It was always a smart move to have blackmail on a veterinarian. She wobbly directed her bike with only one truly useful arm and braced herself for a very painful experience.

-------------

As soon as his eyes opened in the hospital room, he was being asked questions. The last thing you want to do after losing so much blood and being shot with surgery on top of that was be interrogated. But here he was. After giving his signature attitude that no supervisor had ever enjoyed dealing with, he was left alone. He finally knew some peace after a week or so, laying with eyes closed, healing up well he was told, now waiting out infection just to be safe. He’d never passed out from blood loss before, and he would be lying if he didn’t feel every second his age while he had been in the hospital. The bare walls and sterile fixtures didn’t help make him feel any warmer or comfortable. The pain medicine in his IV did though.

Murphy comes in, an eyebrow raised and a grunt in response to the appearance of his partner was given in acknowledgment.

“I know. I look like shit.” Javi smarts, adjusting himself to sit more upright, a pull in his side still noticeable but no longer grating.

“If you’re aware of that I guess that marks off one of my theories.”

“You? Have a theory?” Javi snarks, leaning back, propped up and hands across his stomach.

“I thought you might’ve had brain damage.” Murphy grins. “Claiming you didn’t know who that woman was we saw.”

“You didn’t say anything did you?”

“Don’t insult me, man.”

“Good.”

“They’re pretty fuckin’ annoyed with you right now.” the observation draws a chuckle from Murphy.

“Good. They’re only going to get more mad.”

“I can see why you’d wanna protect her though.”

A raised eyebrow was all that was needed to ask a question.

“They not tell you about anything that happened after you passed out?”

There's a pause as a wave of subdued anger rises on Javi’s face.

“I got to ya first. I peek over the edge of the roof and there she was…” he holds his arms out, a dramatic retelling for no other reason than to take his sweet time and annoy his partner. “You sure can pick ‘em Javi. She was standing there like some Colombian centerfold with no shirt on, hair all wild. I would’ve thought I’d just interrupted you two having a good time if I didn’t know better.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Shirtless?”

“Still had her bra on. Unfortunately.” Steve huffs out a laugh at him and the annoying twitch in Javi’s crow’s feet. “She made her shirt into a tourniquet for you, man. It was ripped and holding your guts in. You’ve got to thank that pretty little lady for saving your ass.”

He sits silently for a moment. “No wonder they thought I was working with the narcos.” he says quietly.

“They told you that?”

“Not outright.” he shakes his head.

“I guess you don’t know about what Trujillo did then huh?”

A sharp turn to face Murphy and a glare told him to spit it out fast.

“I saw her and she had her hands up, let me know you were shot. The sweet thing said, Murphy...Please don’t let him die.”

A twitch of his nose and an uncomfortable grunt show the emotion Javi was willing to show about the heartfelt statement.

“So I put my gun down, cause I figured I knew it was your girl. Who else would be willing to save you and put herself out like that? Unfortunately...Trujillo wasn’t aware of that.” he pauses for a moment, a wince to tell Javi the rest. “And he shot at her.”

“Shot AT her or shot HER.” Javi immediately demands clarification.

“Both.” he shrugs.

“Why the fuck am I just finding this out? Is she alive?” he begins getting out of bed, his torso pulling forward before Steve holds an arm out to keep him down.

“Woah, she should be, man, don’t get your panties in a bunch. She jumped off the roof and I was honestly a bit worried he’d hit her, but when I looked down there was a mess of a dumpster and a blood trail out to the street. You were right about her being good.”

“I know I was.” his brow furrows, immediately preoccupied with her again. “You should check the-”

“Hospitals, I know. I already did. Nothing. I would’ve been in to see you way sooner if she was dead.”

Javi looks away and that’s the closest to a thank you Murphy will get, but it was enough.

----------------------

The first night back in his apartment Javi sat and smoked by an open window, half expecting Esme to show up, a pop of black hair over the edge of the roof but she never came. He could swear she said she wanted to stay with him, or there was something building when the moment was ripped away. He wanted to be angry and tell himself he was being stupid, but he couldn’t help but think he was recalling correctly.

-----

He had finally gone back to work. He hadn’t foreseen a warm welcome but being reprimanded and lectured hadn’t been what he expected either. He was too distracted, not trustworthy, a rebel, a loose cannon. All things he’d heard before. This time they focused on his history with women. Both professionally and personally, the experience was vast. He had pulled more visas out of thin air than anyone in the DEA. His methods worked, yes it was sleeping with his informants and gaining their trust but it was a perk to a transaction that always worked. Because of Esme’s unknown identity, they had nothing concrete about him having connections with the groups they were after. He wouldn’t budge in telling them and they couldn’t accept that. So now he was too lenient on women, they said. His judgment couldn't be trusted because he could be compromised. To say he was pissed was an understatement. Had this suspension and possible reassignment after a board review been something he thought could happen? Of course. That didn’t mean he had to take it well or be happy about it.

He went to a bar, Murphy giving apologetic glances and slaps to the back between snarky remarks to break the tension. Javi knew he meant well, but his mind was elsewhere. He sauntered home, a warm belly of the contents of a few highball glasses and a glare on his face. He didn’t contain his annoyance as he let his boots hit heavy up the stairs and his shoulder jam against his door before opening it and twisting the lock hard. A more vulnerable groan, his hands running down his face after throwing the contents of his pockets onto the counter diffuse through a quiet and dark apartment. The warm light from the street lamps outside seep in through the thin curtains, a light breeze causes them to sway against their thicker partners that provided a shield from the sun during the day. He moves towards a window, feet dragging slightly, lighting a cigarette that illuminates him in orange and red for just a moment before the billowing smoke frames his face, half-lit in Rembrandt lighting by the mix of the moon and artificial light.

“Bad day Javi?”

He hears from the direction of the chair in his living room. Any other voice he would’ve turned and leaped for his gun and aimed, but he shut his eyes and took another patient inhale and exhale.

“I was wondering when you’d show up.”

“You should have better security for your place.” she smiles but he doesn’t see it, she admires him for a moment before standing.

“Not many have the balls to break into a cop's apartment.”

“It’s not a matter of excess balls, but lack of brains.”

He turns to see her in a dress, ruffles on the edges and red as blood fitting her loose and tucked in at the waist. A matching flower sat in her hair, woven espadrilles on her feet made her look like any other beautiful woman he’d look twice at on the street. He could see her green eyes gazing at him doe-like and calm in the low light. They gave away that she was special, not by their color but in how they looked at him. No other woman had looked at him like that. He would’ve sworn all the answers he needed were right there in her eyes as she approached him, he could’ve almost gone on without the need to say his questions out loud. But he was never one to act without proof.

He looked her up and down, a cigarette resting between his lips before he pulled out a chair next to the small kitchen table against the windowed wall. “I’d ask what took you so long but by comparison, you didn’t make me wait long at all this time.” He begins taking off his boots, giving her time to respond and appear calmer about her appearance than he was.

“I had things to take care of.” She pauses, hip against the kitchen counter observing him and appreciating seeing how his jeans pulled tight across his thighs and hips as he moved.

He looks her over again, her relaxed stance, weight on her arm resting as he took a long drag. He stands and walks over, his significantly taller frame, even minus the boots, takes his time taking her in. He selfishly makes her wait, drinks her in, pushing her hair off her shoulders and almost touching the bare skin of her decolletage. “Is it true that you got shot?”

She nods and motions with her head, “In the shoulder.”

He takes his liberties and pulls the sleeve of her dress down to expose a fresh pink scar. “Still hurt?”

“Does yours?” a light touch to his side for a moment, barely outstretching her arm for how close they stood. Personal space wasn’t something either of them was interested in when they were together.

“Sometimes.” he admits.

She nods in agreement. “Yeah, sometimes.” is her quiet answer. He leans down for a moment and kisses the blemish on her shoulder.

“You could’ve let me know you were okay.” she was prepared for anger, which she deserved, admittedly, but she wasn’t met with it. His eyes were dark and deep, looking over her wound where his thumb was currently tracing.

“I didn’t want to risk being seen.” he keeps his eyes on her scar, his brow low and to anyone else, he would read as angry, but she knew he was just thinking, wheels turning and recalling the day she received the mark. “What did work say?”

“Why?”

“Call me curious.”

“I’d much rather hear what you have to say.” he meets her eyes again but he’s faced with the look of insistence a woman gives a man she loves. “Alright,” he sighs. “I'm under review. They wanted me to give you up, tell them who you were but... “ he shrugs, needless to say, he didn’t give them so much as her alias. “They don’t trust me. Too many favors pulled to cover other people’s asses finally caught up to me.”

She nods, looking away in thought for a moment. “You were too good in other words.” she finally answers, reaching out to take the hand that had been anchored to his jutted-out hip.

“Me?” he lets out a chuckle, another inhale, blown away from her face. “I’m not the one who lost their shirt saving my ass from getting shot.” he grins and nods down at her. “I’ve been told I should thank you for saving my life.” he takes one last drag before snuffing out the cherry in the ashtray on the counter.

“It was nothing.” she lied and matched his grin.

“If you’re so bad at lying, how have you not been caught yet?” a teasing squeeze of her hand as the pair rest in the small space between them. “Wasn’t nothing.” his other, now free, hand rests on her scarred arm. “Getting shot for me is something. Men get medals for that shit.”

“But I’m not a man. Just a topless woman who’s stupid enough to risk her life for one.”

A soft huff of amusement is shared between them. “So that part was true?” his smile reaches up to his eyes before he pulls her in to kiss her head and her laugh gives him his answer. “I really wish I hadn’t been a chicken shit and passed out. Would’ve liked to have seen that. ”

“Play your cards right and you still might,” she smirks. “But I believe we have a conversation to finish first.”

“So I didn’t dream all that?”

“No, you didn’t.” a soft and gentle answer, her eyes tender as they looked up to his face. He sees the lump in her throat bob before she speaks. “Where did we leave off?” She sounded a touch uncertain.

“You gonna act like you haven’t been playing it over and over in your head this whole time?” His head ducks down to eyeball her and she gives him an unexpected smile that grows up to her eyes.

Touching his face she lets out a wistful sigh, thumb dragging on his clean-shaven cheek. “I didn’t even realize how much I missed you until I saw you again.”

The sentiment was a punch in the gut that softened him, clearing his throat he looks away almost bashfully for a moment.

“Once I saw you that night in the jewelry store you haven’t been far from my mind. And since that kiss…” her eyes move to his lips and he nervously wets them. Only she could make him nervous. He lost the power balance when he was with her and it felt new, almost scary again. It made his old bones feel like a kid again when she said sweet things to him. “I would’ve come to see you sooner if I could have. I’m sorry. I worried the whole time if that’s any consolation.”

“I worried about you too. Always have.” He speaks quietly and almost mumbles the latter, turning to kiss her palm that had started stroking into his hair absent-mindedly. “I thought if I ever saw you again I would give you a piece of my mind. I'd tell you everything I’d built up in my head all these years.” His eyes move to her marked shoulder and he places his hand over hers. “But you’re making it hard on a man, sweetheart… looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” She quietly laughs and moves her chest to his, her other hand moving to hold his face and he encapsulates her other hand

“Like you used to. Like you love me.” There’s a pause and the cards are on the table. Neither was the type to fold and bluffing wasn’t an option in this company.

“That’s because I do.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t want to leave you, Javi.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

“I had to find out for myself, didn't I? I’m as hard-headed as you are, no one could tell me nothin’ at that age. I had big dreams, ones I couldn’t reach if I was with you.”

“What about now?”

“Now?”

“Could you reach them if you were with me now?”

She smiles almost condescendingly at him. “That’s why I’m here.” She whispers and gives him a small kiss to his lips before pulling away and moving farther into the room. “I just finished a job.”

His hands fall to his sides, holding to hers until they’re forced to let go. “And?”

“It was my goal. For a long time. I wanted to work with a billionaire and I have. So now I’m faced with what to do next.”

“Well, what do you want?” He takes slow steps towards her.

“You.” She looks his way with her big green eyes shining.

“How may I be of service?” He holds his arms out in offering.

She takes almost a full minute to speak and a worry grows in his gut as he musters all his patience to wait. “I’m tired, Javi.” Is the response she finally sighs out and meets his eyes.

With a furrowed brow he begins to move her towards the couch. “Well you were shot hun-“

“No. Not like that.” She stops him and her fingers pick at each other. “I want... this to be over.”

“You’re gonna have to give me a little more than that, sweetheart.”

“I was wrong. I can admit that now... now that I’ve found you again. I’m tired of this life. This... running. I’m tired of not being able to trust anyone and being alone and getting hurt and taking this disrespect from these men and-“

He shushes her as she speaks faster and grows more upset. “Take a breath baby, you’re fine. You’re with me. Nothin bad's gonna happen as long as I’m with you alright?” He says it and means it, an honesty she meets in his eyes that makes hers well up.

“I know. That’s why I don’t want it anymore. I want you. I want to be with you. I want to have that quiet life where nothing happens. I want to wake up and know we’re safe. Together.” She wraps her arms around him and he holds her tightly. She doesn’t cry but the sting is red on her face.

He stands and considers this confession, one he’s only had in his wildest dreams. While stroking her hair a million scenarios run through his mind. He eventually settles on one. “I’m tired too.”

It’s a simple sentence but it spoke volumes between them. “I have enough money, Javi. Enough for us to be happy somewhere.”

“You want to run?”

She feels the burn of reality in her chest. “I don’t know any other way.”

He looks away into the empty and dark room, hands on her face and stroking her temples. “Fuck…” he exhales. “I don’t either.” He shakes his head before looking back at her burning cheeks. “But fuck me am I tired of this shit too. They’re no better than the men you worked for. They’re all in bed together. There are no “good guys” and “bad guys”. There’s no fucking justice there’s just…”

This time she distracts him by kissing his palm. “I know Javi. I wanted to tell you when we were younger but you believed in it so much. I didn’t have the heart to-“

“I wouldn’t have listened.” He shrugs and watches her eyes pour our decades of apologies.

A long but not heavy moment of silence passes. Decades of memories whirling around, potential possibilities for the future playing out as his hands held her heart-shaped face and studied her. Both older, crinkles in the corner of their eyes and sun spots mixed with the freckles, their faces showed their age but their eyes were 18 again.

“I’m sorry.” She breaks the silence. “For everything.”

“So am I.” Is the best response he can muster.

“Instead of you asking me to stay… I’m asking you to go now. Ironic.” She smiles.

“Timing was never our strong suit.”

“No.” She shakes her head and softly laughs. “We didn’t talk much. Not with our words anyway.” The smiles shifted into a smirk.

“Never had to back then did we?”

“You only had to smile with that baby face and as soon as I’d see that dimple it was over.” She shakes her head in agreement. A rush of new emotions comes over. The happy memories. It was so easy to let the negative eat away at them and replace them. “You’re so much more handsome than I ever thought you could be.” She admits with a fully formed laugh. “Better looking than that scrawny young man I left.” She loves her hands to feel his shoulders and watch the grin spread on his face.

“You’re sweet-talking me now.”

“Well, I have to get you to run away with me. Thought I’d try flattery.”

“All you had to do this whole time baby was show up.” The grin he wore wasn't an exact match to the sentiment but she felt it like a knife. The mood shifts, they both feel it. A weight, but it was comforting. “There’s never been another woman that could even begin to replace what you meant… mean to me. This whole time it’s been you missing. The way only you’ve been able to make me feel and that... that damned beautiful face that makes me want to do anything it asks. It’s not fair on an old man sweetheart.”

“Run away with me. Fuck that job. We’ve taken a lifetime to figure out what we needed. Come with me, Javi. We’ll have that quiet little boring life. Like it should’ve been.”

“How can I say no?”

“I’m hoping you can’t.” She gives him the sweetest smile she can.

“You mean it don't you?”

“You seem surprised.”

“After all this time?” His eyes squint showing his disbelief.

“You are as handsome as you are clueless.” She laughs and reaches up to kiss him again. “I never wanted to leave. I never stopped trying to fill my guilt and regret with money and danger and drugs. Just feeling your hands on me like this right now feels better than anything else ever has. I can’t beat how you make me feel.”

He takes his cue, hands moving to pull her closer. “I can make it feel better, sweetheart.” A lower voice, one that was deep, sends a tremble down her spine. He didn’t sound like that when he was younger.

“You always did like to talk a big talk.”

“And I can walk it now. I’m not a kid anymore Esme. I’m a man.” A stern brow appears and she feels her insides melt. “If you think it was good then... well it was…” he gives that grin that wins women over time after time. “You’re gonna love what I can do now.” With broad shoulders and a strong jaw, he loomed over her, making her feel small in a way she didn’t want to fight against..

“Then stop talkin’ and show me, Javi.” She whispers, a seductive smile on her face. “Show me what I’ve been missing.”

“I can do that… but you’ll never wanna leave again.” He smirks before closing in.

“Make sure I don’t.” She softens for a moment, her hand carding through the almost curls at the nape of his neck. She lets the tension grow, the flirtatious closeness, an intimate sharing of smiles and breath isn’t taken for granted. Something hotter grows in the heat between their bodies, and as she had in the past, she gives him a direct signal to move forward. “We’ve waited long enough, Javi, stop sweet talkin’ and make love to me already.”

Her laugh is broken off by a commanding press against her mouth and his two strong hands moving into her hairline. She feels his smirk fade against her lips, each pass growing more and more urgent. With confident hands, he reaches down to grab her ass, one staying to her jaw. These weren’t the clumsy but enthusiastic hands she recalled. There weren’t short sweet kisses, unsure glances shared as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried not the cum so soon from inexperience. He handled her like a man, and she felt more like a woman than she had in years in his strong grip.

He didn't let up as he moved them to his bedroom his mouth stayed to hers, taking each breath and devouring it, savoring it with a tease of tongue before deepening again. She bit his bottom lip after a light slap to her ass to get her moving in the right direction. He spreads his fingers, handling as much of her body as he could, a hard controlled wobble of her ass cheek, another slap of ownership, not enough to hurt her, but enough to show her how he thought of her as his. Once he had her at the foot of his bed, as much as he wanted to take his time, he also wanted to ravage her and intimately know every inch of her he’d been away from. She kicks off her shoes, lost to the darkness of the room before he hitches her leg up, hand traveling back and forth on her thigh, exposed from the wrapped slit in her dress. His mouth follows where his mind wanders, to her neck to hear her sighs and hums. His hand snakes up the nape of her neck into the thick black hair, a tight fist to gently control her head, holding it back so he could explore the sensitive bend.

A moan from her elicits a response, “You like it like this?” spoken quietly in her ear as he gives her head the slightest yank back.

“Aye.” she sighs, her eyes fluttering back. “I love it.” she whispers, a smile on her face and her long lashes shadowing over her cheeks from her blissed expression.

He makes quick work of making her shudder from the pressure of his lips and tongue on her racing pulse. She let herself enjoy it, not another thought in her head except how it felt with him touching her. It was an abandonment she hadn’t been afforded in decades and the act of letting go had never felt so good before.

His kisses trail her neck, shoulder, making tender work of her scar as he slips her arms out of the sleeves. His hand was fast to her back and one to her naked chest makes him press his forehead to the wound he directly caused. “Fuck me, you’re even more beautiful now aren’t you?” his hand kneads her breast and his mouth moves lower over her exposed top half, the cinch at her waist the only thing keeping them apart now. “I wondered what you’d look… feel like now.” his words a quiet but the low rumble in it, pouring that masculine energy he gave off in waves made her melt in his hands. His hands move to cup her chest, an eager mouth, and open kisses before latching onto her hard nipples and triggering a moan he mirrors enthusiastically. “Now I get this… grown fuckin’ woman, don’t I? Fuck, look at you baby.” She wasn’t the skinny little thing he’d held before. She’d filled out, the years kind to her body from the athleticism they’d demanded. She was strong but soft in all the places he wanted her to be. Perky little tits and a tight ass were now something substantial. Something he could sink his teeth into and he wanted to touch every inch of it.

“Let me see you,” she asks quietly, pulling out of his embrace, dropping her dress to leave her bare. Her hands unbuttoned his shirt, tugging it out of those jeans that fit him just right. “I almost want to keep the jeans on you look so good in them.” she grins and reaches back to grab his ass and he jumps before they entwine again. A soft laugh and an old lover's embrace float them down to the bed together. Mouths and hands explored as she straddled him and felt the breadth of his shoulders and the lean muscle in his arms from work.

He laid back, hands moving over her naked body, taking her in with an open mouth in awe. Her arms knocked her tits together as he played and pinched, making her grind and giggle. With a slow drag of her hands down his chest, the soft fuzz covered his pecks, grew smaller, and flowered out again as her fingers followed the trail, her hands moving to unfasten his belt. “As handsome as you are… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t most excited about this.” she leans forward and coos as her hand reached into his undone jeans, finding no underwear and considering teasing him for it. Then she remembered she had come to him not wearing any either. She supposes they were both whores and deserved each other. With a breathy indulgent laugh, she leaned forward, hearing him swear as she began kissing him again.

“I thought you loved me for my mind, sweetheart.” They both share a laugh and she bites his bottom lip.

“I love you for a lot of reasons, Javi. This cock has always been one of them.” The thick hair around his base was as soft as she recalled, maybe softer. But he certainly wasn’t. She kisses him through a groan, freeing him and feeling him fully harden in her hand. “Don’t know how you keep this thing in those tight little jeans.” she kisses down to his neck and he smirks, hand in her hair and the other still teasing her nipple.

“Same way I’m gonna fit it in your tight little pussy, baby doll.”

He hadn’t lost that smoothness, a perfected skill that made her bite his throat for making her throb and feel herself get wet and warm between her legs. “Suave.” she coos into his ear before licking the rim of it. “Now show me.” she demands sitting up and rubbing herself against his pulsing cock.

He moves quickly, his body trained and hers willing to submit to him. He sits up to grab her and push her to her back, hair splaying out, her breasts bouncing before heaving from the sudden excitement. There’s a girlish giggle he’d heard before as she watches him, her fingers disappearing between her pussy lips as he made quick work of his jeans and made his way back between her legs. “You’re still impatient.” he grins against her inner thigh, his hand tracing her slit, a bite to her inner knee that turns into a lippy kiss.

“For you.” she lets her arms fall back, biting her lip and watching him with interest.

His fingers find her swollen clit, both his cock and her sensitive bud jump at the touch. “And you still get so wet for me, Esme.” a trail of kissing to her inner thighs, moving lower towards her center makes her shiver. She didn’t have a response with the circling of her clit, the way he spread her knees apart before dipping down to suck the pulsing spot into his mouth.

“Fuck.” she exhales quickly. A compliment if he’d ever heard one. He did know what he was doing. His broad fingers teased her opening, waiting for that tension, that suction that meant not just her mind but her body was ready.

He hadn’t anticipated being the one not ready for the loud moan that left her thrown back head when he filled her with his fingers. One to test, another soon after added, and the trio to finish it was the curl of them inside her as he made her spasming clit even more sensitive with the suction of his mouth and the attention from his tongue.

“Fuck, Javi, don’t make me cum yet.” It was a plea and a chuckle at the same time.

“You think you’re only cumming once tonight?”

“I want the first time you make me cum to be on your cock.”

He hums deeply, “I can’t deny that, now can I?” a kiss to right above her lips before he eases the pace of his fingers and removes them. “C’mere baby.” he leans into her, hard against her slick folds, dragging his hips back and forth, a strong hand on her hip and his mouth firmly attached to hers again.

Her impatience shows, a brief indulgence of the feel of him, velvety against her before she reaches between them and angles him in. Her legs stay back, he's holding himself up on one hand before taking her hand, kissing her fingertips, and taking over himself. He teases her and it’s met to a whine, a pressure against her hole that was aching for him. “Javi, please.” her hips circle as a pout appears on her lips.

“That sounds too good for me to wanna stop, sweetheart.” he grins, knowing he was in control and being indulgent as fuck about it.

“You gonna make me beg?”

That cocky brow raises, rubbing his tip against her clit.

She raises her hips to meet him. “Fuck me, Javi. Don’t make me wait. I’ve waited too damn long already. Fill me up, I wanna cum so hard on that cock.”

He pushes into her to cut her words off, he loved dirty talk but he couldn’t take it tonight. He’d topple over far too fast, so best give her what she wanted. She was right after all, they’d waited too damn long for this. You couldn’t tell who was making what sound at first. Their limbs entwined, her legs around his hips, keeping him in and her nails into his back. He had his face buried into the side of hers, not willing to miss a sound, one hand on her lower back that was arched up off the bed and the other in her hair. He waited, feeling her tighten and then give to him. “That’s a good girl.” he exhales softly in her ear, feeling her whine as her legs fell farther apart for him.

It happens fast for her, something she wasn’t accustomed to. But no man had been him, and she didn’t recall the last time she felt like this, with every muscle aching and reaching for pleasure from someone. She’d never been able to give over, to trust enough to let some in like she did him. The fact that she was sober and feeling like this was something she didn’t even think was possible. She wasn’t usually so submissive, but while he was looking into her eyes, kissing her lips, temples, nose, and forehead while he moved inside her she didn’t want to be anything else but taken care of by him. His body pushed against her just right, her legs wide let him rub against her clit and the spots most effective inside her. “Javi.” it comes out so desperate and he moans into her mouth as she tries to kiss through her rapidly quickening breaths. “It’s so good.” it was rushed out and ended with a squeak of a sound as she first tightened around him, he knew what that meant. “Just like...like that.” water wells in her eyes, feeling it build from the depth of her stomach, a wave builds up into her chest.

He pushed her hair out of her face, looked her over watching the painful pleasure fall over her flushed cheeks, her lips swollen from his kisses, sweat dampening her hairline and he concluded she’d never looked more beautiful than she did like this. “Fuck you feel even better,” he says against her temple, leaving a comforting kiss while she slowly let herself go. “I feel it Esme, let go for me, lemme feel you baby.”

Her fingers turn to claws in his hair and sink into the thick of it and the skin of his back as she gasps his name like a warning. He puts his nose to hers, nuzzling and reassuring and watching her burst into full bloom. There was no high-pitched showiness like ages ago. She knew what she wanted, asked for it, and got it. She knew her body and what felt good and how to make it work.

He got to watch her body move in waves, a subdued but not quiet cycle of moans and swears, her thighs trembling around him, feeling her squeeze and drip and make the deep muscles in his stomach jerk at the white burst inducing pleasure behind his eyelids. Javi loved sex, for so many reasons. But to have sex with someone he loved? It was quickly making the other experiences fade into the background to be forgotten and replaced by every second he spent inside Esme. The sound of her moaning his name like she desperately needed him fogged his mind, her sounds, the whimpers from deep breaths stayed steady and after a shared moment of the most intimate thing someone could share with their bodies, she forced his mouth back to hers, even hungrier than before.

Riding high, feeling her insides soaked and sensitive and each stroke still forcing a moan from her, she holds him close, a bit less submissive now with a clearer head. The kissing grows more heated, nails raking and teeth sinking into skin deeper. “I wanna ride you.” is all she states, and he obeys, pulling her up and situating her, a deep moan as she sinks back down on him, a string of expletives as she finds her footing. “Fuck you’re so deep like this.” her face is more playful, biting her lip and smiling down at him. She lets her hands explore his chest, moving to his neck before he takes her wrist to kiss her palm, his palm on her bouncing chest. He groans, her thumb slipping into his mouth as he gives her a bite and lick, “You’re too god damn handsome.” she grins and shudders from a growing wave. A slap, barely enough to call it that makes him grin as it hits his cheek. He pushes the thumb of his hand he had held hers with into her mouth. She greedily sucks at it, feeling his hips jerk beneath her. He moves it between her legs, targeting her clit and her hips stutter. He’d make her cum again soon and she was almost embarrassed at how easy it was for him to make her. Only she could roll them out like this, but he certainly was right about knowing how to handle a woman.

“You're already close again.” his upper lip almost snarled back as he said it, his prowess he prided himself in but knowing he was making her in particular feel good was cutting off his usual time quickly.

“Fuck you, Javi.” he laughs and slaps her hips, grabbing them and making her move faster.

“Go ahead and run that mouth. See how long you can keep it up while I’m making you cum.”

She gave in with a flutter of eyelids and a whimper as he braced his feet and pounded up into her. “Oh shit.” she cried, a hand on his chest to balance herself, the other absentmindedly on her breast, twisting at her nipple. The higher-pitched moans made their appearance, her mouth open, panting and paced with the slaps of his balls against her ass.

He holds her hip, making her move and she watches him pop his thumb into his mouth before zeroing right back in on her clit again. He feels her tighten back up again, her thighs starting to shake as she tries to push back in time onto him, taking him deeper, feeling him slide into the deepest spaces of her, filling her up, and feeling him up into her belly.

“It feels so fuckin’ good, don’t stop. Cum for me.”

He switches modes, she sees his brow lower, his nostrils flare, a sharp slap to her ass before gritting out “Then fuckin’ ride me, baby girl.”

Planting her hands on his chest, he braces her wrist, other thumb still pushing her over the edge with the way he was pounding into her. She bounces on him, watching his eyes shut from time to time, holding back as she drenched his cock and balls, the wet slap of skin loud in the otherwise quiet room. She moves her hips up and down, in circles, grinding down when he hits her just right, the sheen of sweat is now obvious on both their skin. They were both breathing hard, exertion and excitement weighing heavily on them as they tried to sync up.

“Fuck that’s it,” he grunts, head raising slightly to watch himself disappear in and out of her. “C’mon and give me that pussy. I feel it Esme, fuck, don’t make me wait for it.”

He had never been able to dirty talk when he was younger, perhaps that was why it had such a strong effect on her. Because she did exactly what he asked, and came hard on him again. It was borderline violent, a combination of inner and outer taking over her whole body as their angry expressions matched up, groaning out his name through her clenched jaw, keeping eye contact and making him watch, seeing the mess drip from her as she rose and fell on his cock.

“That its…” is all he gets out, no masculine power tripped words as he came shortly after she did. His hips thrust hard to each pulse of cum that he filled her with. A deep grunt followed each thrust, his brow low as he quickly moved up, sweeping her to him, splayed together still inside her as he kissed her. They came down together, breathing soon normal, mouths still intertwined and hands still exploring curiously. As he moves to kiss her neck, both hands warm on her back she sighs loudly.

“I missed you, Javi.” she whispers, soft from the exertion and orgasms and the way he warmed every part of her he touched. “So much.”

“I’m here now,” he answers with a flick of his nose to hers, scooping her up and rolling them to their sides. He gives her a soft kiss before pulling away, standing, and yanking the covers down. He gives a pat to her bare ass, a signal to move as he then covers her up. As predictable as he could be, he makes his way to the pack of cigarettes in the other room and she gets to warm up and watch his cute ass walk away. “You want one?” he asks, looking down the lit cherry at her, now getting under the comforter with her.

Instead, she reaches over him, grabs one from the pack, and lights it off his, still in his mouth.

“First time you did that I almost came in my jeans.” he grins, taking a drag. “Always thought it was one of the sexiest things you’d ever done.”

“I wanted to show off. Good to know it worked.” she smiles.

There’s silence for a moment as they bask in the quiet of the room, she angled against him and his arm over her shoulders. “Are you gonna stay?” his eyes swing her way, pushing back a wild curl in her face.

“Here tonight or… in general.”

“Both.” he shrugs casually.

“You want me to stay tonight?” an eyebrow raised at him, squinting as she smoked.

“First time for everything.” she’d never watched a girl stay after he called her up. She’d wondered how this would go down but she was continually pleasantly surprised. "No, I don't want you to leave." he states it as obviously as he felt it was.

“What happens when someone sees me leave tomorrow?”

“Who says I’m not leaving with you?” he gives a nod her way. “You said you wanted to leave, right?”

“Yeah.” she answers softly.

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, sweetheart.” his voice demanded respect she already had for him, but after the sex, she was happy to know he hadn’t changed his mind.

“I’ve got enough money. I just have to go back and get it. I’ve got visas and passports for both of us.”

“You work fast.”

“I had to.” she smiles, scooting in closer. “Couldn’t risk wasting time.” her voice is softer, she put her head on his chest. “Do you want to quit your job? Or do you just want to...dissppear?”

“No.” he takes a drag. “I’ll quit first. I don't want them trying to find me. Or you.” his arm swings in and rubs hers to comfort her. “I want to tell them to go fuck themselves anyway.” he grins, amused by the thought. “I can empty my account, well what little’s in it. Packing isn’t exactly a worry for me. Long as I’ve got you with me.”

“You’re a real Cassanova.” she kisses his chest and smiles into the warm fuzz.

“I mean it.”

“I know.” she nods and wraps her arm around him, letting the cigarette land in the ashtray by the bed. “It doesn’t feel real yet, is all.”

He nods, letting his cigarette join yours in the ceramic dust-filled pile. “I’m afraid I’ll wake up and I’ve been dreaming. Or in a coma from being shot.”

“No, it’s real.” she sighs and runs her hand over his healing side. “I’ve fantasized about running, and being with you has been such a pipe dream I can hardly believe you…”

“What?”

“Love me still.”

“Never stopped. I couldn’t. You said you loved me, why’s it so hard to believe I love you too?”

“Because no one has since you.” the answer hurt his chest, he kisses her hair and pulls her into a firm embrace. “I didn’t think I deserved it.”

“Shhh.” he strokes her hair back and keeps his lips to her bare skin. “We're gonna get out, Esme. We’re going to leave this shit behind. Because we have to. We aren’t made for this like we thought. We aren’t like them.”

So that’s how he’d slept at night. Truthfully she’d entertained the denial on occasion too. He was a good man who did bad things. She thought of herself as a bad woman, but if the one person whose opinion she valued didn’t think so, she’d have to change her thinking on the matter. Maybe he was right. They just weren’t cut out for this, and instead of shame for failure, she felt relief for the first time in a long time. “Where do you want to go?” her voice sounded weaker, sleepier now.

“Far away.”

“How are you with cold?”

“What does that mean?” he huffs out a soft laugh.

“I thought someone cold might be nice. Somewhere in Europe. It’s beautiful there. A nice secluded cabin...maybe some dogs.”

“That the European version of a house and picket fence and two kids?” he chuckles. “It’s not what I originally wanted but…” he sighs, “It doesn’t sound bad.”

“What did you want?” she sounded different, he tilts her face up so he can see her eyes.

“What I said I did, sweetheart. You, a home in San Antonio, figured we’d have a couple of hell raisers. Get old and fat together. Spoil the grandkids.”

Her eyes flutter for a millisecond. “You really wanted that?”

“Why are you so surprised?”

“I didn’t know that’s really how you felt. Thought you were just falling in line with what was expected of you back then.”

“I was always sure about wanting you forever.”

“Kids?”

The way she said it answered his question, that’s where the surprise was. “Yeah. You’d keep a kid walking a straight line.” he grins. “Put the fear of God in them.” a laugh builds and he kisses her softly. “Maybe I’m getting soft in my old age. A man gets to a certain age and he starts thinking about these things.”

“I don’t know if I can… have kids at my age.”

“You act like you’re 50 hun.” he dismisses her worry without his tone being condescending. “I’m not asking you for kids, Esme. I’m answering your question. I wanted all of you. The good and bad. Even then.” he touches her chin sweetly. “As long I’ve got you I’ll be a happy man. We have so much time to make up for. Don’t worry that beautiful head about it. We haven’t even gotten out the door yet.” he gives her a lingering, comforting kiss.

“I’m sorry for leaving you.”

“I know you are, baby.” he whispers back.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” her eyes were honest, a sincerity he’d not seen from anyone in years.

“Then that’s our plan. Plain and simple.” he seals his promise with a kiss.

“We’ll figure out the rest in the morning?” her eyes looked hopeful again, face nuzzling into his hand that stroked her cheek.

“We’ll figure out the rest together in the morning.”

In the morning they figured it out. It went just as they planned. Plain and simple. Together.

@jaegeeeeer​ @likedovesinthewnd​ @inkededucatednnerdy​  @biharryjames @ladamari68​ @past-romantic​ @weliketomoveit @shikin83​ 

#Javier Pena Fanfic #javier pena fic #javier pena fan fic #narcos fanfic #javier pena x reader

[ranmanjuu]

—gen z mc with uesugi-takeda + misc. forces

ahh, i’m so glad people liked my gen z oda hcs! lol it’s usually pretty slow from my writing blog experiences until now, but i’m rlly happy! i was planning to do u-t and the others but then i decided to stop at oda and continue another day. thx for the asks tho! and yeah, i do take requests but it’s more of a pasttime, since this whole blog is just my stupid ideas written out and shared out there.

also someone said that a gen z mc could be old enough to romance the warlords, like, early twenties. and yes, very fair if u wanna romance ur mans with memes and existentialism go for it!! i just think it adds more to the comedy side of this child they have to babysit, while not fearing death or any consequences from their dumb of Ass decisions. someone who fears no death and armed with no braincells is a fool, but a Child who fears no death and armed with no braincells is also a fool, but more bizzare and has That Vibe y’know

@niphredil-14​ and @arthotsglasses​

tw: s*icidal, violent jokes treated in a light manner

also spoilers to some things of their characters

—kenshin:

who is this,, , sassy lost child??

he first saw you prepared to throw hands with ronins who were being Elite Dickheads. ofc, armed with nothing compared to the sworded-adults, he had to interfere.

no matter how cold he treated you, masking his secret !!!-like concern, you seemed so unfazed through it. you still interacted with him like normal,,,,, why?? do you want a death wish?

and each time he threatened you with,, anything, you responded with, “the only one who gets to hurt & kill me, is ME”

...... what?

he’s convinced you’re the biggest fool of a person. and he’d be right but even so, he has a weirdly strong need to protect you as you two got closer. you’re often with sasuke, so it’s harder to avoid you.

even with all the Horrible jokes you make on a daily basis, if your passionate side with everyone having equal rights of being treated as human, for him it shows a side of you that makes you seem precious and pure and kind hearted.

and the overprotective side increases.

which is, ,, a bit problematic sometimes cause you have the tendency to target and piss off anyone in a 10 meter range by just one (1) sassy comment, along with your lack of impulse control and blurting out everything in your mind. it’s made you a lot of short enemies in the sengoku period, and kenshin would always be ready to slice them down behind you.

sasuke has to tame him down with his Masters degree in kenshin-wrangling.

at banquets, kenshin would often have you beside him. if you’re too young for sake do age for drinking exist in sengoku? probably not. it’s more of sasuke advising for him to not give you alcoholic drinks he’ll have you pouring for him or just munching away at pickled plums or food.

—shingen:

(ngl i kinda had a hard time with this since it’s erasing a big part of his overall character,,, flirting)

once he heard the news that oda had taken in somone as young as you during honno-ji,, ,,,he’s in a very “how dare that demon >>:( taking such a pure soul,....”

and when you’re taken to kasugayama as a captive, you’re,,, surprisingly very calm and whelmed. you don’t have much sign of fear or anxiety in your overall demeanor meanwhile you’re busy dissociating and spacing out to feel those

you actually don’t seem to hate your captor. but shingen isn’t sure if your ‘fingerguns’ is a good thing or not cause it depicts you pointing guns @ him,, (dw is good shingen)

while yes being held hostage—no matter how good you’re being treated—isn’t ideal and kinda not very cash money, you consider shingen v chill. man has a kindheart!! “i diagnose you with good vibes.”

if he ever sees your righteous side, as everyone else, he’ll deeply admire you. he himself is someone who believes in such as well. and hearing the circumstances in the modern world regarding those things (blm, etc.) his heart truly does go out for you. he feels sympathy for such a young person like you having to take action

also your dirty humor around him, echigo’s player, kind of makes him question where and how you learnt it

and,, his illness.

through getting straight to the point and not falling for it each time he changes subject/dodges the question, you managed to get to the bottom of his illness. shingen himself thinks it’s not something you have to burden with knowing—you’re so, so young.

but that doesn’t matter to you. the world’s given you such a shit time, you’re mature enough to understand the situation at least.

and as he finishes his explanation, all there was is silence. it felt wrong to say any of your usual quips,, so all you did was slowly came there and hugged him.

that was more than what he’d ask for.

—sasuke:

oh hell yeah

you are in your element with him. the chillest guy to talk to, and probably the first one you’re the closest to

your phone was dead after like 2 days of use, and you were miserable while hideyoshi, like a typical parent, told you to go outside and into town. sensing your bad mood, sasuke asked what’s up. you deadpanned, “my phone game ended and now i’m ready to commit not breath.” you oslemnly look out in the bustling streets and clutched your fist like an Anime Protagonist, “those boomer memes were right all along... i am absolutely Miserable and Useless(^TM) without it.”

in response, you could’ve sworn he did the Anime Glasses thing as well, “then we at team Moderately Awesome Sengoku Ninja are happy to announce the launch of a DIY phone charger, made with the electricity from a fruit and the main functionality of a solar panel. and has more durability than samsung’s.”

there were Stars in your eyes now. with a big grin, you thank him, “i’d die for you, sasuke.”

“then perish.” he said with a blank look. (yukimura, in the bg: ???!!!??!??!?)

the next day he consentually breaks in through the ceiling and gives you the weird contraption. you’re now saved, soul-wise.

the memes start coming and they don’t stop coming from the two of you. in any situation. whether it’d be at a teahouse, or at a battlefield that can determine your life and death.

and you can have discussions about current world events, or the past ones, with him and he’d understand completely what you’re talking about. it’s those rare nights when you’ve been thinking and have a deep conversation with him in his room, and as an adult, it makes for interesting results as well.

the others are endlessly confused, but you’re both so unapologetically yourselves.

and he’s super protective if the circumstances are tough. he feels bad for dragging another person in the sengoku with him—much less when they’re so young like you.

if you’re enough of a lil shit, once you’re taken into kasugayama, in the nights where you can’t sleep because brain at what would be 3 am, you’d probably trudge over to his room and wake him up to tell him what kind of mind-blowing shit you realized.

—yukimura:

when he saved you from falling to your death, your reaction already set off weird Vibes inside him. what do you mean, “you stopped me from fleeing this fleeting world by the sweet embrace of death” ?!?!?! are you crazy?? yes

he doesn’t waste time getting blunt with you at all either.

once he goes into azuchi as a merchant, he silently observes you talking to sasuke for a bit. what’s with your weird language?? and crude humor???? never in his life has he met someone in your age act like that wtf

even so, he still operates on the basis of ‘‘if sasuke trusts you, i trust you’’, no matter how utterly concerned you make him feel

you have a dirtier mind than him! unsurprisingly. along with everyone else, you often tease the poor soul, a nd you’d gladly tell him what the innuendoes mean ( 69, etc.) and maybe sprinkle in some gay jokes in there

and why do you keep mentioning this “bromance between him and sasuke” ?? what us,,, a bromance????? and why is sasuke in it??

he takes you out to teahouses to eat chestnut dumplings and other desserts with you. you always seem to target the one he doesn’t like the most and have a bit of banter

your relationship is built on banter but what’s different rlly

he treats you much more maturely than other people your age. as in, he doesn’t pull back his punches in words most of the time. you don’t seem to around him also, it looks like.

and, he’s also very protective of you. he regards you as his little sibling, as rat as you may be. and he does care about you—he might just be a bit unwilling to say it

—yoshimoto:

you think he’s very chill, if a bit unique but who were you to judge. and he is, if you ever meet him in echigo or even azuchi

his big liking to art and something of apathy to people is osmething you can respect. there’s something about that kind of Vibe that you find oddly a mood.

and oh boy oh boy you wasted no time pulling up your phone and showing images of what art is in the future. whether it’d be a screenshot of anime, fanart, aesthetic-like ones, palette-themed—the whole shabang. 

and, somehow, you were left ranting to him  about how some artists in the future get it so shitty for theft, reposting, not crediting, the list goes on (please be a decent human being to artist, sincerely the author) and he can’t help but just listen in silence and kind of thinking about how you’re so passionate about the Struggles of artists. and it isn’t something he sees often in the sengoku era—where war rules most things.

and he does find art from the modern times interesting, how they’re so different and vast in styles. and not only that, it’s not like the future only has one major style like then, each hand can draw such different pictures and still have beauty in each. he appreciates and admires that.

and he does tell you his thoughts ^ while you give your own insight. it’s so fascinating to see someone like you having strong opinions on this.

because, well, rn art is a big thing in our lives as we’re stuck inside. a part of entertainment is looking at any media of art—and he finds his view of art and yours quite the same. you two came from a time of turmoil (one moreso than the other) but still think art isn’t exactly irrelevant just because it isn’t a cure to diseases or the Ultimate Weapon.

you had to Surgically Remove him from your phone so you can use it and to stop him from draining your battery looking at the art

and he often drags you out to town and admire pieces when you’re holing yourself in too much. your comments are always unknown to him, “radical”, “that’s one i can vibe with ngl”, and the list goes on.

and you occasionally call him pretty boy as a compliment rlly

—kennyo:

when you first saw him at honno-ji, and he won’t forget the one (1) line you gave him, all you said to his warning of ooo spooky demons was, “that’s lit fam gtg tho”

and that alone was enough to stun him for a few seconds

honestly you told the others of your meeting with kennyo before they told you it could be kennyo. just a throaway line of “oh yeah there was this dude with a scar across his face.” / “,,, ,....that’s kennyo. he’s really dangerous actually—” / “oh, poggers”

you’re probably kind of half the reason the oda forces found who dun it.

and it was an eye for an eye, kennyo himself found out that you were their child chatelaine, and very close to the others. as per his villain-schedule, he kidnaps you .

he laments about how “such a pure soul such as yours is not to be stained by the demon’s hands”

oh how Wrong he was.

you were the definition of the opposite of pure. and you seemed unfazed, which surprised kennyo but shrugged it off. he was willing to face you screaming and panicking, along with shouldering the sin of doing the deed. but instead, he was met with a raised eyebrow and, “this is unexpected and probably not welcomed but what am i doing here.”

he was stunned for a moment before explaining what he can. 

“......... fuck.”

he cringed ever so slightly at your curse. but your attention seems to stray so quickly off of the fact that you were bounded and helpless, to the fact that you have the man doing unspeakable things to civilians and you absolutely don’t approve.

throwing your common sense to maybe be civilized, you went off on a rant of how human rights and how to not be an ass to him. all he could do was just listened, shocked to even cut you off.

when he did, he gave the whole ‘unsaved demon’ shtick, and you weren’t taking that kinda shit. he believed he was truly unsaved—you knew that. but that doesn’t make it okay.

eventually, he left you with a cold end of the conversation.

he admires your spirit in a way—but with what he’s experienced,,, it’s a bit of unreachable for him.

if at any point you saw the soft side of his with animals, you just gaped at him for a split second and whispered, “the gap moe is strong with this one.”

also old man died inside when you said that you’d fight god, along with many things.

all in all, to him, you’re insufferable. but weirdly,, fascinating.

you’ve totally ok boomer’d him once cause he rlly looks old

—motonari:

,,. if your speech to kennyo was bad, he’s going to rant hell.

motonari already knew you were interesting even when his men just spied on you. your behavior, so brash and impulsive, is going to be so fun to have, he thinks.

through some planning to stir up more chaos, he kidnaps you and brings you unto his ship. same as kennyo, you showed no clear sign of surprise, and that’s when he decided you were either used to this in any way, or a fool. both answers, he liked.

you’re kind of really confused on why he’s doing what he’d doing. “i get it, i like to stir up chaos myself but it’s harmless,, most of it—but not until the people are in danger, bitch.”

and by that line, motonari leans towards you with a deadly smirk, “now, i can bite, ‘kay kid? you don’t wanna be in the receiving end... do you?”

“do it, coward.”

and before he could let out even a wheeze of laughter, you continued on on a lecture of, again, not being a dick and letting people live their life in peace. and much less all of this damage, for what? chaos?? yeah you wanted to see the world burn but it wasn’t literally.

however, his patience was running thin. he shuts you up forcefully, and leaves.

even so, after a cooldown period, he still talks to you (,,,, well, that’s kind of a generous term) because, right he was, you were so fun in his eyes.

an interesting observation he made,,, was that you picked up on his big dislike of physical contact. and he’d think with how annoying you were at times, that you’d weaponize it. but you didn’t—in fact, you kept your space (not that you were planning to get close) and respected his boundaries.

he thinks you a bit of peculiar for that decision, some wary, and perhaps naive.

one of the days—the more dangerous ones—he was planning to take you to the oda as bait or something. and you weren’t taking it like that. two days before arrival, a storm racked up. you stood upon the edge of the ship with the rest of the crew watching you like you were a madman.

“the oda won’t want me if i’m dead, would they now?”

motonari stands in his composure, guffawing, “all i need is to make sure they believe you’re alive, kid.”

a smile that showed absolutely no fear and 1000 percent spite spread in your face, “not unless i decimate my own body until all the trail left is my blood. the only one who gets to do that shit to me, is me.”

finally, a look of wavering shows in his face.

you were saved last minute,, and the rest is history.

#ikemen sengoku #cybird ikemen #ikesen #ikesen kenshin #ikesen shingen #ikesen sasuke #ikesen yukimura #ikesen yoshimoto #ikesen kennyo #ikesen motonari #ikesen uesugi takeda #*writing #gen z mc #god i hope my Lack of Ability isn't shown in how other characters are written longer than others #and how i might've badly Fucked up their characters #i've done like.. 3 routes and that knowledge is all i have #stans pls don't @ me #pretty sure i had more i wanted to add here but #aha brain's memory go brrrrrrrr

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Since you’re promoting Zelda OCs I would like to share this thing that happened to me with you and if you want you can also tell me what you think. There is this botw artist who had her Zelda OC whom I liked very much. Her art is beautiful but she’s been very mean. It's true: “never meet your heroes”. One day she shared a post about her OC asking others if they had ocs as well. I shared my OC in the comment section saying I made my OC based of myself. She immediately DM me saying I should delete the comment because to her it looked like I wanted to use her ‘popularity’ to promote my art (dude wtf she isn’t even THAT famous lmao). I ofc told her I was ashamed by it and deleted it... I complimented her and she didn’t even give a shit about it. I told her I wanted to let her see my OC to not make her feel ‘alone’ and she told me “uhm okay I don’t need your approval, I’m quite happy with that I make”. And last but not least when I said I’d been following her since 2018 she said “but I don’t see you among my followers”. What do you think? It made me so depressed I quit drawing my OC for three days.

Well, obviously I have no context for the whole extent of this situation, so very well could be misunderstand and tone and other stuff factored in there, but going off what you’ve said overall sounds like she’s a BITCH. Not very poggers of her if I do say so myself. 

There’s maybe an argument and point to made there about not putting art in another person’s art post because I guess it could be seen as derailing. But like, if she asked for people to share their ocs then people are gonna share their ocs lmao. Also, and this is just my personal opinion and I’m no artist myself so take this as you will, if someone posts art, and then someone reblogs that with their art that’s related/inspired by the original topic, 90% I’m able to appreciate both art separately. Welp, I guess she’s op so she gets some semblance onto how she wants people to interact so. Good for her for not needing people’s approval to enjoy the things she makes

But that shit about “using popularity” and questioning your follow time...wow that’s bitchy sldkjfs apologies I can’t think of the proper synonym for it but it just is. Gonna call the cops? Gonna report me? “Oh how scandalous that this person who follows me and likes my content has been following for only 200 days and not a YEAR like they said smh” boi shut the fuck up no one cares. I don’t care, and you shouldn’t care. If you’ve followed since 100 followers, sweet. If you’re here from just this month, welcome. What is this gatekeeping obsession with how long you follow people for like I get it if you’re friends or mutuals but literally what is there to gain by saying shit like “only REAL ones have been here since 1k subscribers” or “only my TRUE fans are the ones from 2017″ like fucking shut up, since when has follow time constituted for how much you enjoy and appreciate something 

“Using my popularity to your advantage” arguments have also grinded my Ancient gears. Like yes, there are assholes who only want to talk with you or be friends just so they can use your position or whatever for their benefit. They totally exist don’t get me wrong. People who are like that, you have my approval to punt them. But also, the entire idea that just because someone is benefitting from someone else’s popularity they are a bad person is really wrong. Not to bash capitalism on the Zelda sideblog, but the entire idea that the rich and “famous” (heavy heavy quotation marks there considering we are on tumblr) are only successful because of their hard work is just blatantly false. Sure it’s important, it gets you like 50-70% of the way there, but the rest of that very significant percentage is just luck, or just factors in user engagement, or current trends or maybe they’re related to someone influential. It’s a roll of the dice. You don’t own popularity, you just don’t. That is completely owed to the people that follow and engage with you, so who are you to insult them.

Now, I’m not saying that you owe your followers anything, in fact, yeah I’d agree blatantly: You don’t owe your followers anything. You make the thing, they get the thing, they follow/like/share, the transaction is over. But at the same time, don’t act like a high and mighty bitch about it, fucking “using her popularity,” how much of your precious and popular time do you waste to give a nice comment, or even sharing something made by someone else, someone that could very well be the reason you’re in the position you’re in right now. Yeah bitch how about you use your “popularity” to give attention to someone talented, what do you have to lose by sharing something good with people. And no one better give me that shit about “OhhhHhhHHhhhh but if you share it then they didn’t eaarrnnnn anything and they can’t leaaaAAARnn and growww” cause first of all no, shut the fuck up, bash your capitalism brain into the earth and stop thinking that all success and growth has to be born out of pain and sacrifice. Secondly, just because someone popular shares something, it that doesn’t mean all that engagement instantly gets passed on to another person. That engagement would only get passes if the person was skill/talented/created something great AKA they worked in that regard to earn it. Idk about you, but if someone I like promotes another person, I don’t just automatically follow them, I look at them, and if I like them and what they do, then I follow. Such an incredibly stupid argument to me when people say that people are leeching off of popularity like it’s some finite resource, anyone can get a couple hundred likes and views, but if the stuff you make is quality and good, that’s when people stick around.

If you’re “popular” you should also share the work of other people that you like. Now THAT’S JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION cause there are other reasons that you might not mass reblog shit to keep yourself organized or you purely just focus on your account for sharing and nothing else or whatever other reasons there are that are probably valid, but it’s how I feel. So if you share, don’t share because someone asked or begged you, or because you want the nice guy clout, just fucking share the stuff that you like because you like it, because those 5 seconds it takes to click a few buttons could mean a world of change to someone who very well could have been in your position had the stars of the social media algorithm aligned a bit differently.  

Wow I wrote a lot, I guess this was something I really wanted to rant about huh. I guess I just really want you to know that, yeah, that person sounds like a bitch, and you shouldn’t let that experience stop you from making the things that make you happy. TL;DR be nice to your nice followers, popularity is a made up currency so just fucking spend it wildly, OCs are pretty rad

#long post #sorry #not botw #rant #there's nuances to the argument obviously #but also #being nice feels nice #so #take that haters

[sparklingpax]

My favorite pages of a Transformers Prime Halloween fanfiction I wrote in 5th grade. In this story, the Autobots and Decepticons call a truce. Well, the kids call up Megatron and organize this and then Optimus catches them but then also agrees jdsjdjsdjdshsdh I know this makes Zero Sense but yknow what that’s,,,,how my brain worked back then. Made no sense. Still doesnt make sense actually--

ahhhh so.........enjoy ^^’’ 

Um and sorry for mistakes and potentially immature perceptions of the characters...remember I wrote this literally almost 5-6 years ago,,,, O//O’’

OH AND. LONG THREAD. (Mostly because of the photos. But forwarning I guess ^^’’)

(I’ll just do some explaining since I only picked parts of this story. Also sorry for the terrible picture quality :’D)

Edit: The grammatical errors. I’m in Pain.

In no particular order: 

1.) This. Because?? Mood. 

2.) Ratchet’s change of heart (sort of) aND THE FACT THAT I MADE HIS COSTUME AN ANGEL AJSJSJSDJ

(he made them some tasty energon goodies <33)

3.) fjdfjdfj idk why but I really like this part of the chapter in general,,,maybe it’s just me lmfao but uh....well.....good job, younger me lolol you’ve made older me genuinely laugh 😹😹😹😅😳

I do have one question for myself: wHY did I choose a MONKEY COSTUME?? FOR STARSCREAM???! *cries laughing* that is so random I can’t even rn--

4.) This one single part. It comes earlier in the story ofc, and again idk why but I just,,,this part is decent. And I kinda like it lmfao 

After this, I remember reading something about Megatron visiting “blogs” and reading about Halloween and costumes and all that. Which I’m 99.9% certain was some sort of reference to Tumblr. So. Make of this what you will, I suppose owo 

5.) The description of Op’s costume! He went as a cat and I distinctly remember making him dress up as a cat because cats have always been my favorite animal so my logic was: favorite character + favorite animal = pERFECT!! <D Anyway, uhhh.....sometime I wanna draw this :3 it’s a cute costume idea actually....so congrats again to younger me for doing something right...sorta..^^’’

(if you wanna know the end of that sentance, it just says smth like how neither of them had made a costume like this so even if it wasn’t all that perfect, it was a really good effort for a first try <3)

6.) Very much like the way I opened this chapter too,,,,lol why am I even trying to explain my thoughts my brain just,,,I Like This Bit Too,,,,I hope y’all like it as well,,,,idk--

7.) wHAT was this ending asdfjkldjsdkjsdj 

all I can say is that the Starscream adding that he will crush them later is the Best Thing and I’m still laughing about it,,,kudos to younger me yet again ^^’’ 

8.) SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST! I really liked this part??? For many reasons. I remember it was my favorite part to write :3 Of course, my stupid immature humor had to ruin it with the “thug life” joke because that was another thing I found extrememly hilarious back then sooo.....oh and I apologize for the way Megatron abruptly destroys the mood....I was tryna be deep I think?? BUt...idk...that moment just throws the vibe off too abruptly....idk....y’all lmk what you think I guess...? But anyway, my favorite part of the whole thing >:33 

LIKE I WANT OPTIMUS TO DO THIS SOMEDAY. IT’S CUTE. LIKE,,,,SUE ME BUT IT’S FUNNY,, 😹😹😹😹

(also what I meant by “a shade of crimson darker than Jack” is: a few pages back, a fake spider scared the living daylights out of jack and he landed flat on his back after screaming so loudly that literally everyone burst into laughter for a good few mintues. And Jack had blushed  like super hard. That’s. Idk why I didn’t specify that in the writing sdsjsdj anwyay--)

///

And bonus: the cover page that um. Is atrocious. Please forgive me O//w//O’’ 

tHAT IS nOT what his costume was supposed to look like in my mind’s eye but I suppose on that day I gave up and did....that....so..............

///

Well! Ok! You made it to the end of this thread!!! <3 THank you so much for reading through it all!! You’re the best!! Like,,,seriously thank you so so much Q//w//Q And I’m so sorry for wasting your time 

Please have a lovely day/evening!! Maybe sometime I’ll post pics from that Christmas fic ;3

See y’all around then! ^^’’

#transformers prime #tfp #fanfiction #transformers prime fanfiction #tfp fanfiction #tfp fanfic #halloween #transformers #halloween fanfiction #tfp halloween #transformers prime halloween #old fanfiction #old stuff #writing #story #kuniwrites #things #optimus #optimus prime #megatron #starscream #ratchet #bulkhead #arcee #bumblebee #knockout #raf #rafael #miko #jack