#obvs not gonna be on the pull because i will not be ditching my friend but i just wanna observe. see the sights. go to the bars etc. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

outerbankies · 3 years

Note

You know how teenager rafe is gonna just be spiralling over reader going to prom with someone else? I’m going to cry cause like he’s a baby and he doesn’t know why he has these feeling for this one person that he’s always kind of orbited around?? And he knows she’s it for him but only deep down cause he’s trying to figure so much out and how could you know who you’re going to end up with at the age of 17 let alone 10 or 12 but he’s always known and aaaaah imagine that kind of love

an angsty little pre-series prom blurb partially inspired by this ^ ask that made me spiralll. thanks anon i hope u like this!

—

new light blurb: before we knew — rafe cameron

new light series masterlist

obv takes place pre-series in high school! referenced in part 1

warnings: underage drinking

“Top, it’s not fucking funny.”

“It’s kinda fucking funny, Y/n/n. Like, way more than a little.”

Rafe had ditched the last fifteen minutes of statistics when he finished his test early today, and he’d been messing around on his phone for ten minutes waiting for the rest of you to come and get in Topper’s Jeep so you could all go to lunch off-campus today.

Rafe stands up straight from where he’d been leaning against the hood when he hears your voice approaching, his smile matching yours once you see him. “Hey, Rafe. How did your stats test go?”

“Good, hey, Y/n. What’s not funny?” he asks, opening the passenger side door for you before sliding into the backseat behind you.

“Oh, get this, Rafe,” Topper says, laughing. You just groan again, clicking your seatbelt on. “Griffin is gonna ask Y/n to prom. Tomorrow.”

Rafe blanches. “Griffin?”

He knew Griffin thought you were hot. Certainly had to hear it enough times in the pool at practice every day. Rafe always found himself biting back a remark—well, almost always. As captain, Rafe was able to tell everyone to run another play whenever he felt like it. The extra exertion in the pool was nothing compared to having to tread water and hear his teammate talk about you like that.

But even after all of that, he still had no idea Griffin had the balls to actually make a move on you. Because Rafe could tell you’d seriously rather die than ever give Griffin the time of day. And Griffin had been pursuing you without luck for months, even though you’d been trying to gently show you weren’t interested. Half of the time, Rafe wished you'd just tell him to fuck off.

The other half of the time, Rafe was considering just doing it for you.

Rafe clears his throat after his outburst, a finger digging into a hole in his jeans. “How do you know?”

“He just told me in PE,” Topper says. “He said he has this huge banner, and speakers, and he’s gonna do it at lunch right in the middle of the quad—”

“Topper.” You cut him off a bit more seriously this time; Rafe can hear the shift in your tone. You've always hated being anywhere close to the center of attention, getting embarrassed by the smallest things others wouldn’t even think about. If Griffin actually knew anything about you the way Rafe does, he’d know you wouldn’t like something big and flashy. “Can you stop?”

“Hey, cut it out, Top,” Rafe is saying immediately. Topper just rolls his eyes, but Rafe doesn’t care. “You okay?”

“Yeah, Rafe,” you say, smiling over your shoulder at him. “M’fine.”

“Do you want me to tell Griffin to—”

Topper laughs from the driver’s seat, clearing his throat to cover it up when you look over at him. You look back at Rafe, and his heart breaks at the worry in your face. “Don’t, Rafe.”

“Are you gonna say yes?”

“No,” you immediately laugh, looking at him like the idea is preposterous.

“Oh c’mon, Y/n/n. Can’t say no to him in front of all those people,” Topper teases. “And where the fuck is Kelce? I’m starving.”

“You’re right,” you sigh. “I don’t wanna embarrass him. I’ll just find him after school today and tell him I’m going with Kelce.”

Topper’s eyes widen, Rafe catches it in the rearview mirror before he hurriedly looks away. Rafe clears his throat, settling back into his seat from where he’d been leaning into the front space to talk with you. “You—uh, are you actually going with Kelce?”

“Yeah,” you nod, distracted by your phone. “We said we’d go together if we didn’t find dates. Kelce didn’t really wanna ask anyone after what happened last summer. And after nearly being set up with Top last night, I’m about ready to throw in the towel.“

Rafe looks to his friend that sits in the driver’s seat, who's looking straight at his lap, the back of his neck bright red. “Wait, you two?”

“It was just our parents, dude. Went to dinner at the club last night and our moms brought it up,” Topper mumbles. You giggle at the idea, completely unaware of the energy in the car right now.

“Yeah, sorry, Thornton. But no thanks. You and Emily should be really cute, though,” you say earnestly, patting his shoulder.

Topper just stares straight ahead. “Thanks, Y/n/n.”

“And then this thing with Griffin—I’m just so over the idea of finding an actual date at this point,” you sigh. “Plus, I know Kelce won’t put up a fight about the color scheme. I’m thinking like, aqua. Or maybe pink? I don't think I'd look good in gold.”

You'll look good in absolutely anything, and Rafe will just have to watch you from across the floor of the Island Club, while Kelce twirls you around the dance floor or holds you close during a slow dance.

The guy in question opens the car door and slides into the backseat next to Rafe right then, sighing as he slides his backpack off. “Sorry guys, coach stopped me in the hall. Where are we eating?”

Rafe glares at him.

“I want a smoothie,” you declare from the front seat.

“Fine with me,” Topper nods, pulling out of his parking spot. “Guys?”

“Can we go to that place with the deli next door? I’m so hungry,” Kelce says.

“Yeah, I like their açaí bowls,” you say, twisting around to look at Rafe one more time. He must not be able to hide his emotions as much as he thought, because your smile drops when you see him. “Rafe? Does that sound good?”

He turns his body to look out the window, eyes flicking back to yours one last time. “Not hungry.”

—

Rafe meets Topper and Kelce at the dock later that night, the three of them intending to get drunk and maybe take Topper’s boat out if they felt like it.

Kelce is already there by the time Rafe pulls up, drinking a beer with Topper while they laugh at something on his phone.

And Rafe paces right down the dock, snatches Kelce’s phone out of his hand, and pushes him off the platform and into the water.

“Rafe, dude,” Topper says, immediately pushing him back by his chest.

“What the fuck?” Kelce sputters, spitting out water as he surfaces and climbs the ladder back up. “What is your fucking problem?”

“You couldn’t ask literally fucking anyone else? It had to be Y/n?” Rafe says, laughing indignantly. He looks down at where Topper is still keeping them separated. “And you—what the fuck—”

“I told you, man. It was just our moms. We didn’t even consider it,” Topper says, rolling his eyes.

“You both lied to me,” Rafe accuses. “Because you knew I’d be mad.”

“And why’s that, Rafe?” Kelce spits, reaching around Topper to try and push at his chest. “Why are you mad? Not like you were gonna ask her.”

“No,” Rafe says immediately. And he isn’t even lying; it’d never crossed his mind as a possibility. Which is why he can’t even begin to try and work out why he’s this upset about it. He didn’t do anything to stop this, but it’s still happening, and it’s making him crazy. “You know my dad’s making me take Reagan since we’re both on prom court.”

“That’s what I thought,” Kelce grumbles. “I was gonna tell you.”

“When?”

“Soon, I just—we made the plan so long ago, bro. Neither of us wanted to worry about dates… but I gave it time because I thought you might—I dunno,” Kelce trails off, shrugging. “I dunno.”

“Thought I might what?”

“Figure your shit out and ask her yourself,” Topper says, coming back from the boathouse with a towel that he passes to Kelce.

“Even if I could, Y/n/n would never say yes to me,” Rafe scoffs, shaking his head and reaching for the six-pack they were working through.

Topper scoffs back. “Oh, yeah ri—”

“Guess we’ll never know,” Kelce says, cutting him off while he dumps the water out of his shoes. He sighs at his soaked clothes before he looks back up at Rafe. “You know I’m not into her right? We’re just going as friends. It’s senior prom.”

“Why would I care what you’re going as?” Rafe says, shifting in discomfort, hand clutching his already-half-empty beer can a little tighter. “None of it even matters.”

“Whatever you wanna tell yourself, bro,” Kelce sighs, grabbing his phone out of Rafe’s hand and pushing past him to go change.

—

“Nice taste, Y/l/n.”

You whirl around from where you’d been adjusting Kelce’s boutonnière (you’d only pricked him twice, which was a personal record for you) at the sound of Rafe’s voice, plastering on a smile before you face him. Your eyes drop to his attire immediately. “Oh shit, Rafe. We match.”

“I know,” he laughs. “My step-mom wants a picture.”

You furrow your eyebrows, shifting in your heels, the tule of your dress suddenly itchy against your legs. “Um. Shouldn’t you take one with Reagan?”

“We already took a million. From every angle. With every possible fucking pose,” Rafe sighs. “C’mon, please? Before the limo comes.”

Rafe grabs your hand and you look back at Kelce who just nods, downing some champagne. “Take care of my date, Cameron.”

You can see Rafe just shake his head where you trail behind him, leading you back to where Rose is talking to one of the other moms. “There you are. Your dress is beautiful! I wish we'd found one like that for Reagan. It looks great with Rafe's tuxedo.”

“Uh, yeah. It's nice to see you, Mrs. Cameron,” you say politely, ignoring the last half of what she said completely. She pulls up her phone and Rafe’s bringing you into his side, his hand resting in the middle of your back.

“This okay?” he murmurs, his breath fanning over your neck as he leans down.

“Yep,” you say quickly, but you can’t help but look around and catch multiple of your friends watching you, including Reagan, who promptly rolls her eyes once you make eye contact with her.

“Y/n, sweetie, just a few pictures for the newsletter,” Rose says, reminding you of your purpose right now.

“Right, sorry,” you say.

“Hey,” Rafe whispers. You look up at him, feeling his hand bring you closer to his body. “Take this a little more seriously, Y/l/n. Don’t you know that the next issue of the Island Club newsletter will be completely ruined without this one specific photo, that will probably be squished into the corner of a terribly- edited collage?”

You laugh in surprise, hitting him on his chest for joking about his step-mom right in front of her. “Rafe. Be nice.”

He just grins down at you, before straightening up and turning back to the camera. “If I’m nice, will you save a dance for me later tonight?”

You’re glad he’s not looking at you anymore, because then he’d see the way your smile faltered before you turn back to the camera as well. “Sure.”

—

“How is my flask empty?” Kelce groans, tipping it over and shaking it out for emphasis.

“That’s what happens when you drink it all, bud,” you laugh, patting his shoulder. He rolls his eyes at you, linking his arm in yours as you both pass through the crowd to find Topper and his date, Emily. You all watch Rafe up on stage, waiting to inevitably be crowned prom king.

He was a shoo-in anyway, but you’d definitely distracted your English teacher with a conversation about the 1984 essay you just turned in while Topper and Kelce stuffed the ballot box he was meant to be guarding.

Rafe seemed like he couldn’t care less about stuff like prom court, just shaking his head when his name was announced over the speaker as a nominee three weeks ago at lunch.

And he’d dragged his feet through finding a date, just shrugging whenever you brought it up to him, prying partially for your own sake.

You couldn’t figure out why he seemed so averse to the entire event, but you supposed that was better than having to hear him go on and on about Reagan and how he asked her and what corsage he bought for her and if he was bringing her to after-prom—or anything else that would’ve dragged up some feelings you thought you’d firmly buried at this point, telling yourself for years that you never stood a chance with Rafe.

But the closer graduation got, the more you’ve been realizing that things with your friends would never be the same. Things with Rafe would never be the same.

“Kildare Academy, your prom king is Rafe Cameron,” the DJ says, snapping you out of your thoughts. Kelce and Topper cheer obnoxiously while you laugh, a little grateful they’re both drunk and distracted—so happy their plan worked (Rafe subtly flips them off behind his back as he’s crowned) that they can’t notice the way your shoulders slump as Rafe leads Reagan, just crowned queen, out to the middle of the dance floor while some Ed Sheeran song starts playing through the speakers. You’d roll your eyes at the terrible music selection if that was what you could focus on.

All you could focus on was wondering if Rafe would even remember that you promised him a dance tonight.

Kelce is dramatically bringing you into his arms as the prom court dance takes place, subtly turning you around so your back faces the stage and the court, smiling as he holds your waist. “C’mon, dance with me.”

—

Rafe’s letting go of Reagan as soon as the song ends and everybody cheers, dashing off to the DJ booth after telling her he’d be back in a bit. She merely shrugged before adjusting her crown and going off to some friends.

“Hey man, can I pull some prom king privilege right now?” he says, leaning in to speak into the guys’ ear. “I have a song request.”

“Playlist is set, approved by the school,” he says dismissively.

“Thought you might say that,” Rafe grumbles, reaching into his breast pocket before he can take the time to wonder if he’s really going to do this—if he’s really going to bribe the DJ to play a song by your favorite band before he goes to cash in on that dance together that you’d promised.

He hands him a crisp hundred.

The DJ sighs, snatching it out of his hand and pocketing it while Rafe smirks in victory. “Alright, what song, country club?”

And then it's practically a race to find you before the Kid Cudi remix currently playing ends. Rafe heads off in the direction where Topper and Kelce had been yelling when he was on stage, evening his pace when he spots you jumping around with Kelce, your dress fanning around you while you laugh, the string lights illuminating your face.

You’re smiling so big that it stops Rafe in his tracks.

Guys had always shown interest in you, and you turned most of them down. Not all of them; Rafe still had to see you with guys who absolutely did not deserve you giving them the time of day, sometimes at parties or maybe at the Club. Rafe could usually lie to himself, write off these feelings as some protectiveness over you, a nice girl who’d been a good friend to him his entire life. Rafe was protective of all the people he held close in his life, why wouldn’t he look out for you, too?

But something must have changed, because now—now Rafe’s looking at you, and he knows time is running out before you both set off on your futures. He has three weeks of school left with you, then a summer of seeing you around. And then... that's it.

And now he’s looking at you, those feelings less and less ignorable with every single second closer Rafe gets to not having you around him every day anymore.

Those feelings are crowding every corner of his mind, finally coming to the surface after all of the drama with prom dates had forced Rafe to wonder why he couldn’t stand you going with Griffin or Topper or Kelce. Couldn’t stand thinking about you ever being with someone that wasn’t him—a reality he knows he’d have to get used to you a lot quicker than it took him to even realize he’d fallen for you.

Because the future’s coming, and maybe in the future you actually end up with someone like Griffin, or Mateo, or that guy from the party that one time, or that touron from New England that your parents tried to set you up with, some hotshot you brought home from California after a semester, or Kelce—even Topper. Your parents would love that one. And one day in this future, you’re running into Rafe on the soccer field; your kids play for the same team together. Rafe ended up settling for someone he could never like half as much as he loved you, and he sees you across the field with a sweater tied around your shoulders, chatting with all of the other moms. The lucky asshole you finally chose just watches you the way Rafe always had, the way he is now as you dance with his best friend, the way Rafe will probably never be able to stop himself from doing.

Or maybe there's another future without you, where you move away to somewhere that suits you; the Outer Banks had never good enough for you, in his mind. Maybe you stay in California after school. And you bring home that hotshot that’s perfectly matched for you, who gets to hold you and kiss you and have you. Rafe only gets to see you every once in a while, when you decide to grace the Outer Banks with your presence for the holidays or for Midsummers. Maybe in this scenario, Rafe was never able to find someone else, maybe he shows up solo while you flash your engagement ring when the old crew gets together for drinks—no, you wouldn’t do that. You’d be absolutely smitten with whoever won your heart, showing the ring he got you to your girl friends with an embarrassed little smile pulling at your lips while they all gush over it. And maybe one of your friends jokes about how Rafe used to have a crush on you. You'll just laugh and shrug it off, nodding—because you knew all along. Of course you knew, everyone had to know at this point. And Rafe can picture you merely laughing at his feelings for you as the other guy gets to pull you closer on his lap.

The opening chords of your song snap him out of his reverie. He can see the exact moment you realize what song it is.

Rafe beelines for you, holding his hand out as soon as he’s in your vicinity, fully pretending he hadn’t just realized he’s fallen for one of his closest friends in the middle of prom. Like he hadn't realized that he wasn't just into you, didn't just think you were cute or like the way you made him feel when you remembered his stats tests or wore his shirt to his water polo games. Like he hadn't just realized that no matter how many times he'd told himself it didn't bother him that much that you'd never come close to giving him the time of day, that he'd never forget what it felt like to not even be on your radar.

“You promised me a dance, Y/n.”

You look at him and his outstretched hand and smile, then look back to Kelce, who's quickly letting you out of his arms, casting an accusatory glance at Rafe. But then he smiles a little. “I'm gonna hit the restrooms.”

“Too bad our one dance is gonna be to a song by a band you hate,” you laugh, accepting Rafe's hand. Rafe’s on autopilot, his hands resting on your lower back while yours move to his chest, swaying the two of you in little circles. The song is already through with the first verse.

“I don’t hate this band,” he lies. But maybe it’s not a lie—how could he hate anything you loved?

“Okay, prom king,” you laugh, fiddling with his pocket square a little, the one that matches your dress. “Still can’t believe we ended up matching.”

“Great minds, Y/l/n,” he shrugs, eyes trained on your face. Your hands slip up around his shoulders, and you nudge the plastic crown on his head before leaving your arms to rest there, fingers locked behind his neck. Rafe pulls you closer. The second chorus was already starting up. Time was running out.

“I’m not sure what the optics are of our matching and you leaving the prom queen to come dance with your friend,” you say, your small smile turning into a frown. “Reagan already seemed pissed earlier.”

“Don’t worry about her,” Rafe says. “It’s just you and me right now.”

“When we go off to college, I think I might just miss you, Cameron,” you say, smiling.

And Rafe might not ever get to tell you how he feels, or ever be with you the way he wants to, but at least he got to dance with you at his senior prom.

“I know I'm gonna miss you.”

—

@moniamaybank @downbytheouterbanks @littlementalpolaroids @fangirlvoice @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @pogueslandia @loveylangdon @oopsiedoopsie23 @sodasback @rafeseggplant @cooper8224 @rafeyybabyy @lemur46 @cameronsrafe @theepoguelandia @judayyyw @irlpadfoot @synonymforlame @tinawhynot @mildkleptomaniac @ilymarkchan @sofiatheseconf @hockeyshmockey @supersouthy @coffeeandcrimeshows @emptyloverofmine @infinitleyethereal @nerdypartytrashpsychic @mrs-cameron @tcmhollnd @nicavass @sakikos @catonthesideoftheroad @jemimah-b99 @serrendipiity @depressinq @svechnibrock @julianakawaja @ctrlcherries @lostaurorax @wildflower98 @babygirl2022 @lieswithoutfairytales @painlesslies @messagesinthesky @orrsoared @destourtereaux @sammywilscn @tylernagle @anonymousobxfan @lilacsandwhiskey @raphaelcameron @mardema @princesspogue @alwaysclassyeagle @brittlehe-art @drewswrld

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trensu · 4 years

Text

Episode 8: the One where NHS is a Total Cockblock

We are blessed with the opportunity to see WWX play with the bunnies again~! Meaning that this episode starts right where it left off last.

After WWX realizes that LWJ is going on the Super Important Mission, he starts complaining to the bunnies

WWX: We promised to go on that adventure together! You guys were there, you saw him promise, didn’t you??

WWX: and he’s DITCHING me?? FRIENDS DON’T LEAVE FRIENDS BEHIND!!

the bunnies definitely agreed with him. we don’t actually see that happen, but it’s true.

Now the rest of the Yunmeng sibs appear to share a moment with the bunnies. It’s super cute but not a wangxian moment so we’re skip on ahead here.

Wait, one last bunny moment to share. We see lwj leave for his mission, and he stops by the bunny area and says, very solemnly, “farewell” to all the bunnies.

BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES BUNNIES, OKAY??

Blegh, boring plot stuff happens, yuck

NEXT WANGXIAN MOMENT - we see lwj walking alone wearing some stunningly bright blue robes

(the white sash with that robe is really emphasizing his tiny waist, STOP THAT LWJ, I CAN BARELY HANDLE IT WHEN WWX DOES IT, I CAN’T HAVE YOU BOTH SHOWING OFF YOUR TINY WAISTS AT THE SAME TIME, I WILL DIE)

There he is minding his own business when suddenly he catches a loquat that was just chucked at him

GUESS WHO IT IS~!

(It’s wwx, in case you didn’t guess)

Anyway, back to the wangxian scene~!

Wwx: lan zhan!!

Lwj: *looks at the loquat he just caught and throws a dirty look at wwx* Boring

WWX: *whining* lan zhan, how could you break our promise?? WE’RE SUPPOSED TO ADVENTURE TOGETHER, FOR HONOR, CHIVALRY AND DUTY!!

Wwx: ooh, did you ditch me bc you’re scared that i’ll steal your thunder?? Wow, i didn’t realize the lan clan was so petty.

Lwj: how boring *walks off*

Don’t worry, wwx is completely undeterred by this

Ugh more plot stuff

But then we get another wangxian scene!

They’re still walking in the middle of nowhere but lwj is ahead of wwx

Wwx: lan zhan wait for me *whine whine*

Lwj: *ignores him and keeps walking*

Then we get a reappearance of wwx’s Mischievous Grin as he does some magic glowy talisman writing in the air and flings it to lwj

NOW THEY’RE MAGICALLY TIED TOGETHER, AAHHH

Wwx: I made it myself! Isn’t it neat~?

(why, wwx, why did you feel the need to make glowy magic rope? What were you doing that made you think of this? WERE YOU THINKING OF LWJ?? it’s okay, I understand!! who wouldn’t want to tie down the second jade of lan??)

He then proceeds to tug the magic rope every which way, which of course yanks lwj’s arm around to match, bc HE’S A CHILD LOL

Wwx: what should I call it? Binding or Bonding?

Lwj: *stares steadfastly away* Boring

Lwj then whips his arm back dramatically and it’s his turn to yank wwx around.

Ofc he doesn’t get playfully tug-of-war-ish with it. He just turns on his heel to keep walking.

Alright now they reach a town for Plot Reasons and we have this funny moment where wwx finds himself a scary mask and sneaks up behind lwj to try to scare him! Doesn’t really work, but lwj’s eyes do widen just a fraction so maybe he was a little bit startled? Idk idk

In this town we bump into NHS!! And we get a glimpse of jealous!LWJ because of him!!

See, wwx is a touchy guy, right? If you’re friends, he’ll happily sling an arm over you and tug you in close for conversation

Which is exactly what he does with NHS

Lwj looks at them while they do this before disdainfully dragging his gaze away and continuing through town

WHAT’S THE MATTER LWJ?? DO YOU WISH WWX WOULD PULL YOU IN CLOSE LIKE THAT?

DO YOU??

We cut to yunmeng to see a bit of jiang sibling time

And we’re back in town with LWJ, WWX, and third-wheeling NHS.

Nhs: so why are you hanging out with lwj who hates you? Are you being punished??

Wwx: how dare??? I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW WE GET ALONG GREAT NOW

Then they stumble upon a group of people excitedly looking at something, we don’t care what

Hey guys, remember back in episode 7 when LWJ dives into a violent crows like nbd bc wwx was in danger??

Yeah, here lwj does not go anywhere near the nonviolent crowd

Wwx: lwj, why aren’t you going over there to check it out??

Lwj: no way, too many people

I FEEL YOU BRO. I TOO AVOID CROWDS LIKE THE PLAGUE

Wwx: it’s not that crowded! Come on!! You’ll be fine!! I’ll protect you *proceeds to physically grab lwj by the arm and drag him to the crowd*

AND NOW WE HAVE A WONDERFULLY PICTURESQUE MOMENT

It starts raining colorful flower petals!! The music in the background is upbeat and cheerful! Everyone around is making sounds of joyous surprise!!

Nhs looks over to LWJ and his jaw drops open: “LWJ truly is an unparalleled, gorgeous, elegant gentleman!”

No really, that’s exactly what he says to WWX about LWJ.

The camera angles up here so we see lwj from a lower point of view, and get a shot of him silhouetted against a blue sky that just makes him GLOW as flower petals gently swirl around him. His face is serene.

What i’m trying to say here is that NHS NAILED HIS DESCRIPTION BC LWJ IS LOOKING LIKE A YOUNG GOD HERE.

Wwx: *gazes softly at lwj* I agree

Wwx: *internally* whoops that sounded too honest, better fix that

Wwx: TOO BAD HE ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE HE’S GOING TO A FUNERAL, AMIRITE??

NHS is offended on LWJ’s behalf here but wwx doesn’t even care because he’s TOO BUSY ADMIRING LWJ’S GORGEOUS FEATURES

LIKE, OMG WWX, CAN YOU GET ANY QUEERER??

Plot things happen in town and then the boys leave

Yes, including NHS, what the heck (ilu nhs, but c’mon)

NHS: wait a minute…are we on a dangerous mission right now?!?!

WWX: if by “we” you mean me and lan zhan, then yes! Bc you’re not invited. This is mine and lan zhan’s time. Not mine and nhs and lan zhan’s time

Nhs does not take the hint, and LWJ keeps himself determinedly ahead of the pair so he can properly ignore them

MORE PLOT STUFF HAPPENS, WTF, CAN YOU NOT??

And now we’re in a cave!! Not the cave of wonders, but another cave!! For Plot Reasons we don’t care about!!

Plot, plot, dancing fairy legend, plot

MORE boring plot exposition.

There’s way too much of that going on in this episode i think

They need to stop

Oh, now we’re getting another shot of jealous LWJ!

Random old guy: yeah, we don’t have any houses or inns or whatever so i guess you’ll just have to sleep in this creepy cave with the ugly fairy statue that may or may not steal your soul ByYyEeEE

Nhs is not, you know, the bravest of cultivators so he immediately gets all close to wwx and starts whispering to him how scared he is

The camera refocuses on LWJ who is a little ways behind them and BOY IS HE JUST BORING HOLES INTO THEIR HEADS

C’MON LWJ, WWX IS ALLOWED TO TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE

DON’T GET WEIRD ABOUT IT. DON’T BE THAT GUY.

Alright now we skip to the boys sleeping uncomfortably in this creepy-ass cave and THE FAIRY STATUE WAKES UP!!!

WWX & LWJ: I’MMA STAB IT WITH MY SWORD (guys, they’re practically synchronized here, probably because they’re ~soulmates~)

NHS: LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS GOT IT UNDER CONTROL SO I’M JUST GONNA HIDE BACK HERE

And then we see WWX use his binding technique to save the love of his life from getting smashed by the fairy statue’s arm.

He does this by tying his magic rope around the statue’s arm and pulling it back (while his braces himself on the statue’s side because he’s a badass) so the full weight of the blow doesn’t land on lwj (who blocks it with bichen)

ANYWAY these two are battling the fairy statue because they’re just that Skilled but obvs wwx never takes anything seriously…

WWX: Lan Zhan, she has a crush on you! :D :D :D

(omg wwx, now is not the time)

LWJ: Shut up

(see, lwj agrees with me)

And whoops, the bindings snapped! Before the evil fairy could hurt them more, wwx does a Dramatic Twirl and launches a couple of sealing talismans at it

(@theuntamednarrator and I have determined that the Dramatic Twirl is super important to activating the talismans. The harder you Dramatic Twirl, the stronger they are. It’s just how magic science works.)

LWJ then reinforces them by doing this weird thing with his sword? He kind of…scrapes his scabbard against bichen and it starts glowing with blue energy (??) that he scoops up with his hand and launches it at the statue.

Not sure what all that’s about but it works!!

Now, you’re probably wondering why i went into detail about the battle when bc it’s more plotty than shippy

BUT YOU’RE WRONG, IT’S TOTALLY SHIPPY BC WE GET TO SEE WANGXIAN WORK COHESIVELY TOGETHER TO TAKE DOWN A BADDIE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER

THEY’RE SO WELL MATCHED EVEN ON THE BATTLEFIELD

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

THIS ISN’T EVEN THEIR BEST BATTLE SCENE. IT’LL GET EVEN BETTER GUYS, JUST YOU WAIT.

And that’s it for the episode. I hope we get to less plot-heavy eps soon bc let me tell you, this one kind of dragged with how few wangxiantics we were getting.

STILL, we got to see LWJ be beautifully surrounded by flower petals so I’ll count this as a win.

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #the untamed #wangxian

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kimjichim · 5 years

Text

Expectations | 01

Summary: One night out is all you need to get your heart snatched. You can call him a friend, a fuckbuddy or the guy you’re currently seeing. The label doesn’t matter. That’s what you both agreed on and you’re okay with that; until you realised you weren’t.

Genre: College! AU, fluff??? idk sis but soon to be hella fluff n later angst n meybe smutty idk (just letting yall know)

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Word Count: 1,334 (hella short srry)

Warnings: none atm apart from swearing~~

A/N: hi bitches im back after 3 years mwahahaaaa. honestly, idk if any of yall even remember me but like this time round i actually wanna properly start writing more (esp cos its gonna help with my HSC) and ill have a lot more time from now on cos im graduating hs soon!!!! this story is lowkey based on smth that happened to me a few months ago but obvs with tweaks here n there. my writing is hella rusty so sorry if it’s dry. its not really a full chapter but i really wanted to release it before i throw it away like always yeet. i promise to release the next one soon~~~. if yall got any feedback, it would be much appreciated TTTT would you like a 3-4 chapter piece? or a slow burn series? lemme knowww cos i havent fully thought about what i wanna do with this story yet. hope yall like the intro thoughjgghg <3 <3

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You’re still not used to it. The loud music blasting into your ear from every corner of the street and the hoards of people that walk past. It’s a Friday night and you wanna let loose this holidays, especially since you just recently turned the legal age. You’re just as excited and nervous as the first time you’ve ever walked into a bar. The nagging thought of the bouncers not letting you in persists at the back of your mind. You present your ID and give them a small smile, all the while fidgeting with your fingers behind you. However, your worries are immediately washed away as they smile back and step aside to let you in.

You walk in with Jinhee, one of your good friends who invited you out tonight to get you into the clubbing scene. Initially, you agreed in excitement and was looking forward to tonight for the whole week. But now that you’re here, you’re not so hyped anymore, especially now that you realise you have to introduce yourself to Jinhee’s friends. Meeting new people? While you’re sober? Nope, no thanks.

Regardless, you stick closely behind Jinhee as she struts over to the bar and orders a few drinks while you scan the area, appreciating the chill vibe in the bar. People are generally huddled in their groups all erupting in laughter and talks. The girls look stunning in their outfits and the guys look clean and fit.

“Y/N. Here,” You turn your head to Jinhee while she hands you two drinks, “Gin and tonic. That’s your favourite, right?”

You smirk and nod before you notice another two drinks in her hands. Why do we have so ma-

“We’re starting off strong tonight, I want to be wasted when we get into the club.” She smirks.

You scoff in disbelief, “You mean to say that these two will be all you need tonight, right? Lightweight.”

“Oh, shut up.” she retorts, “Come on, my friends are sitting on the other side.”

You follow her without a word and mentally prepare yourself for all the names you’re gonna have to remember for the night. Thankfully, the drinks kicked in faster than it usually did, allowing your social skills to skyrocket. The girls were all so nice and looked amazing in their outfits and the guys were really sweet as well. So many different conversations filled the circle and it was absolutely chaotic, but you didn’t mind it for some reason.

“Hey guys, we should head to the other bar in the next block for another round. Heard it was really nice there.” One of the guys shouted. Taejun, was it?

“You really want to see those dancers, huh?” one shouted back, throwing his arm over his shoulders, instantly going for the choke-hold, “Taehyung, you horny motherfucker.” Oh fuck, wrong name. I must be drunk.

You pay no mind to it as the need to freshen yourself suddenly overcomes you as you stand from the stool. You decide to sober up a bit before you leave and grab onto Jinhee while everyone starts heading off.

“Jinhee, I’ll be in the bathroom. Wait for me before we leave, okay?” You ask.

She throws the okay sign while stumbling towards the entrance to catch up to everyone else.

“That bitch better not ditch me like last time.” You mumble to yourself, doubtful of Jinhee due to her intolerance to alcohol.

Well, at least I’m having a good time. I haven’t had this much fun in awhile. You’re glad you came out and met some new people; you could really use some time to lighten yourself up from all that torture in the last semester.

You step out of the bar, expecting Jinhee to jump out at you, nagging you for being too slow but she’s nowhere to be seen. You sigh in disappointment. Figured. You pull out your phone to call Jinhee but is stopped by a sudden invasion of personal space.

“Y/N, right? Let’s go, Jinhee said that everyone will be waiting at the next place.”

You look up at his face in confusion before you realise that he was one of Jinhee’s friends.

“Oh shit, uhh, Taehyuk, right?” You ask while stumbling. Jesus, my tolerance must’ve gotten lower too, I can’t think straight.

“Hahaha, close. My name is Taehyung. Good try though.” He snickers.

Motherfu-

“God dammit, I’m so sorry. I’m really bad with names,” You stammer, “especially when I’m drunk.”

“Don’t sweat it,” he smiles, “We’re all like that when we’re a bit tipsy.”

Wow, cute smile.

“We should probably start heading over to where everyone else is.”

You nod in approval and begin walking through the busy streets. The two of you maintain a good conversation along the way, getting to know each other and finding similar interests. Throughout the ten minute walk. You couldn’t get over how good looking this guy was. His sharp, dark eyes were so mesmerising. There was a cute mole on his tall nose and his lips were of a pretty pink. Not to mention his freaking hair. It looked like black silk shining against the lights. It was luscious and so soft-looking. I would do anything to run my hand through his hair right now.

Unfortunately, your alone time with Taehyung came to an end as you finally met up with the rest of the group. You see Jinhee with her two bottles of soju, giving you the dirtiest look while being barely able to stand. You immediately walk over to her without much thought or any more exchange with Taehyung, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“This is for me, I assume?” You say with a glare, snatching the bottle out of her hand.

She ignores you and looks over your shoulder at Taehyung, which your eyes naturally follow.

“Already getting a hot one, huh?” She snickers.

“This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t ditch me in the first place.” You grumble back.

“Your welcome.”

You sigh once again while downing a bit of the soju you stole from Jinhee and occasionally glance over to Taehyung. You two make eye contact from time to time and give a friendly smile but you don’t push for more. That small ten minute conversation was enough for you to constantly sneak glances at him. You’re not complaining though, he is really pleasing to look at. You feel like a child staring at a really expensive toy at the display window.

The night slowly moves on as you meet more and more people, all the while involuntarily having your eyes drawn to Taehyung, wherever he is; as if you have a radar on him this whole time. However, you don’t dwell on him for much longer than two seconds, allowing yourself to fully enjoy your night with your newly found friends.

The night was finally about to get started when Taehyung caught you glancing over at him once again. Reflexively, you smile but he doesn’t return the smile like he usually does. It throws you off guard and you freeze in shock before quickly turning your head back to the current conversation. You can feel your face and ears getting rapidly warmer. Shortly after, you feel a presence behind you and hear a deep voice call out your name.

“Y/N?” It’s Taehyung. You turn around. “We’re heading off to the club now, you wanna join us?”

“Uhh-” You immediately look towards Jinhee to ask if everyone was ready to leave before you get cut off by her loud voice.

“C’mon everyone! It’s time to hit the club, let’s go!!” Jinhee exclains to group while shuffling everyone towards the exit and gives you a small wink. That sly fox. You think in amusement.

“Alright, shall we head?” Taehyung asks while he cocks his head to the side.

You simply nod and follow him. Maybe it’s because of the alcohol in your system but you can’t seem to control your excitement at the possible opportunities that could follow tonight.

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confusedinfj · 5 years

Text

The Elusive Entp

and how to handle them

There are lots of fake entps out there, so I have compiled random notes about the few/actually many statistically that I know/handle on a regular basis. Some of this may apply to other tps, but I'm writing specifically here. Featuring gifs of people I'm pretty sure are entps, but might change my mind knowing me aha.

Summary of All Entps:

Childlike, but this can be in a good way. Entps aren't meant to grow up in the same way as an Sj, they're always gonna a be a little bit like a small kid. ♥

In a relationship, entps can seem very chill and charming at first. But they can also have avoidant tenancies and fear of low Fe. They're a little insecure before peak Fe development, so they might try to make you jealous if they feel threatened. Who threatens an entp? Only people you like or respect that they feel are better than them. Entps don't like being trumped, their Ti can be a little immature this way 😋

Entps respect independence and intelligence, and they really like intuitives. They like debating everything and throwing around dumb ideas for the fun of it when they're relaxed.

Can be very quiet and intraverted when not comfortable, or just when a little stressed or tired. Can be mistaken for an fj or fp when well developed, especially an enfj or enfp.

Entps always have a reason for what they're doing or saying, even if it's a 'dumb' one. So if your entp says they don't know why they're doing something, don't buy it. They have a secret agenda. 😉

Entps can be accidentally callous or even deliberately mean, but they're also really paranoid about upsetting people. They can be easily pushed around if they feel low Fe guilt.

^surprisingly, this is when an *nfj can step in and say 'um... No? Don't let them guilt trip you!'

Summary of Young Entps:

Happy, outgoing, cheeky, kids who wanna work out how everything works and how they can do it all themselves. Have some spectacularly dumb ideas, but they're so little it's all cool.

^this Ti development is what *nfjs go through in later teens, when they actually have to suffer and sound spectacularly dumb cos they're not a kid. So entps are a natural help here, and they're not too mean cos they remember when they used to be dumb too.

Summary of Depressed/Looping/Immature Entps:

When they're rejecting their childlike nature, they can be childlike in a really bad, immature emotional way.

When they're depressed they can be boring, withdrawn, paranoid, and irrational. They can become convinced everyone hates them and only see the negative.

They can use immature Fe to manipulate people. They might use their Fi Trickster function to convince you they're the victim when they're not.

They're very sensitive to society and gender roles and stuff, and want to fit in very badly (low Fe I guess). But they also want to be feared and admired for their cunning, so they can be really mean, even on purpose, only to be really upset when people hate them for it. And if you don't hate them for it and are kind in spite of it, they'll cry.

Overly secretive, then gets upset when people don't know who they really are.

^ would just like to add that, interestingly, this is ALL the same rubbish *nfjs have gone through when younger, so they're defs natural friends. *nfjs basically demonstrate to *ntps that Fe is there to help you care for people, not care about how they see you (though obvs it does both). It's also not there to charm people into doing what you want so that you never have to put in the effort of actually growing a friendship 😂

Also, over emotional, dramatic, and unstable, like any immature person.

Notes on Female Entps:

Obsessed with body image, a lot of them seem to have eating disorders. Also want to be smart, but very conscious of society's expectations about their looks in particular. Not comfortable with who they are, would like to be an Fj or a Tj. Want to be kind and caring, but also cut throat and ruler of everything.

Notes on Male Entps:

Obsessed with being seen as intelligent and basically as tj as possible. Wants to be cut throat but can't pull it off emotionally or strategically - frustrated when people get the better of them. Very upset when people dislike them because of their nastiness. Unable to accept intellectual failure, so struggles to learn from mistakes.

Points on How to Handle Them:

Entps who are immature cannot be helped. They must help themselves. Your only goal here is to not get used or hurt by their poor Fe.

Be mean. Not actually mean, tough love mean. Entps benefit from Te or te look alikes like low Ti.

Be kind. That's the main one. Truly hurt entps withdraw. They go all quiet and their eyes go big, or maybe they tense their jaw and try to look mad. In that situation you should be kind over tough love, cos you don't want them to go into their paranoid 'everyone hates me' loop.

The easy way to tell whether their sudden tears are real? How easily they can stop when you say 'stop it, that's fake' or even 'I believe you'. Crying entps are very upset and will not be able to just STOP crying. (You could also try tasting the tears, cos sad ones are salty and fake ones aren't, but that might be weird). As well as that, entps truly crying are generally on low Si and will moan about how they're going to fail and they've ruined their lives, whereas fake crying entps will moan about how they've upset you or other random things they think may shut you up.

See intent. Don't listen to what the entp is actually saying, hear what they mean. It will save you a lot of time being offended 😂

Explain yourself. Entps on the internet have a reputation as being emotionally callous, but they're not if you can explain it. 'When you do this, I feel this way because' was a formula invented for our Tp friends, and it will usually soften an entp (I'm sure there are bad exceptions!).

Stay calm. Don't expect your entp to be a j - it will kill you all. Your entp will probably improve over time, but don't plan on it.

Be honest. Really, don't bother keeping any secrets from your entp. They'll just invent a terrible, paranoid narrative or completely not notice. Their low Fe will assume everything is fine, and when you finally break it to them they've been upsetting you the whole time, their little tp hearts will break 💔

Discuss your expectations. Expect to negotiate your expectations.

Tell them when they're arguing and refuse to engage as much as possible. Debate and fruitful discussion only.

Copy your entp. If your entp gets overly aggressive or upset all of a sudden, match their reaction with your own. They'll usually realise how completely irrational it is. (For example, if entp says 'WHY DID YOU WARM UP MY FOOD, I LIKE IT COLD?!' be like 'OH MY GOODNESS I'M SO SORRY, I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT, HOW COULD I NOT HAVE REMEMBERED, OUR LIVES ARE OVER'. They'll usually laugh with you at that point

Don't be nasty. If you can't do the above things from a kind place, don't do them. Entps aren't always emotionally clued up, but they can be very sensitive to negative intentions.

Randomly ask them what they're keeping from you. If they instantly look away (even if they frown, smile, whatever) they're probably keeping something... Entps actively keeping secrets generally isn't healthy. Entps have Ti, so they might forget to mention stuff. But if they purposely hold stuff back, it's usually bad. They'll probs try to justify keeping it to themselves and construct a paranoid narrative about you, so don't let them drift too far if you can.

Don't take it personally. High maintenance required for immature/depressed/looping entps. Like walking on eggshells and pulling chicken's teeth all at once.

Enjoy their strange affection. Functioning entps are very warm and caring, even if it is in slightly strange ways.

Expect the unexpected. No, not in a romantic way. Entps are romantic, but they're given too much credit for actually doing stuff about it. Unexpect the expected. Entps don't want to do anything just cos it's expected, so tell them explicitly if you want something... And then don't expect them to remember. Just in case.

Talk about everything. Don't ridicule any idea, just discuss it and the entp will realise how unrealistic it is if it is. They probs just having fun anyway.

Lead the way. Entps want deep friendships, but they don't often know how to get there - or they just don't bother getting there. Just do your thing, they'll probably follow. Entps can be flighty and hard to pin down, but they'll probably tell you straight up if they don't like you or want to hang out.

Ditch them once in a while. Entps respect independence and will quickly get bored if you just cling. But don't ditch them too much, cos they're also insecure and jealous when pushed (who isn't?).

Don't pat their ego. Your entp isn't always going to be the smartest/prettiest/best in general person in the room, so don't reassure them that they are. Reassure them that they're your choice and you love them, but don't indulge their fantasies.

#entp #elusive entps #enfj #infj #mbti #notes #random #fun functions #ti #fe

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sikereviewdotcom · 4 years

Text

wilfred (2011) - season 1 ep1 “happiness” review

ok so today were reviewing fucking "wilfred" basically its a story about a depressed guy who tried to kill himself but he failed because hes a pushover in life and even suicide is mocking him yea jk actually his sis prescribed him placebo so the meds he used in his suicide attempt were useless yada yada

then he sees his neighbours (on who he tots have the hots for) dog as a man and hes like lol wtf why is there a furry standing in my yard? im not into dogplay dudette, please dont do this to me ah-

unfortunately for him the chick, on the next day asks to take care of her dog meanwhile because idk shit happens in her house? and she has to work? yea something like that so anyway he accepts because hes into her and out of it aswell more out of it than anything tho

our man, ryan is pretty disturbed but it happens anyway he has NO control over his life so why would he have control on a dog fursuit wearing 40 yo man? yea exactly wouldnt make sense

wilfred enters his house and smoke a damn bong thats right, a very efficient way to introduce what kind of character were up against see, jason gann has the perfect face for such character looking all dirty in that suit with a big ass black painted dog nose you gotta think "that dawgs up to no good" and youd be damn right keep reading to discover why so basically nm happens in this episode if it isnt the setting of all the shit because well ryan has a lot of issues and its gonna get worse you cant believe this dog is gonna make things better for ryan not really hes just scamming the loser with cheap tricks and drugs

btw after (trying) to vape or w/e with wilfred, the man falls asleep, wakes up because his sis whos a bitch, remember her

its important to spot whos a bitch in each show ill be reviewing its pretty easy to balance whos the antagonist and who isnt although it often is much more complexe than that which is why im here making it all very easy and very interesting, aside from lost cases like the magic school bus i cant make that shit any worse nor TOO better like i have limited power my reviews are sike but some shows are just nah back to our whipped cream: ryans depression: he is jobless ok? so his sis is mad that he doesnt make the effort to come work and do what he has to also he used to be a lawyer btw because his father wanted him to be and then his father died and he lost his job and he hated being a lawyer so w/e but he also seemingly lost all reasons to live and redacted more than one suicide letter so im not sure what to think about it he was really eager to die yknow his sis couldnt care less tho its like "yo stop ruining my image im trynna get you a job in my hospital fuckface" yea see that why shes an inconsiderate bitch

so instead of going to work because of wilfred, ryan takes him for a while btw that vermin also tries to get elijah (the actor playing ryan is elijah wood obvs btw so this series already gets 5 points to begin with i dont make the rules) to throw a tennis ball and dont forget this ball ok? its gonna come back and start a whole drama its the beginning of our adventure a ball

next theyre in a restauration thing eating chips and drinking a beer together dog and his friend then the waitress comes and

happens the tiddies eating, it almost one fucking minute im sure we could all feel the embarassement of having your animal rubbing its balls and penis against your friend whos over for the nights leg in the middle of spring and youre just trying to get it back but wow the hormones are hitting it hard its like a cleaning robot vibrating on a grandma whos cardiacs chest and you trynna take that little asshole away but for some reason its rubbed in olive oil so not only does it reeks of olive, its also slippery as heck and you can see your grandma spasmming on her soon-to-be deathbed, she has spasms for god sake no the robot no someone stop it from stimulating the old ladys torso ah shit marguerite died after drowning in her drooling

not even died of an heart attack nah, it was such a messy death she suffered so much no one could do anything its like the robot was sentient yknow and well same goes for wilfred hes making it on purpose but uses the excuse : he likes the boobs it nothing personal, ryan

w/e they leave after paying (not for the side tits tho, it was a freebie for dogs) after that shit happens (i wont spoil you EVERYTHING, im just painting a pic here ok?) at this point you could wonder "is wilfred being a dick on purpose or its just about said instincts? how much percentage of his behavior is actually dog and how much is ryans mind (the guy is deranged there is no denying that but how much? )) whats sure is that his owner likes her dog vm and hes maining that chick

good for him? but it also happens that before that, elijah just threw the ball above the gate and into his much less friendly neighbour because he was sick of the dog asking to throw it and so yea, there is a tension between ryan and wilfred not any kind of tension, exactly the kind of elija x reader fanfic i wanted to read except pov: im a canine furry and i smoke weed on a daily basis and im a jackass

theyre almost breaking up someone does something about it i was seriously getting into it wow oh no fuck look at me tearing one or two here

rip their new born bromance? or... is it all there is to it? well see no obviously its the problem we were waiting for because when our fella enters back home and idk whatever else happens its night and his sister comes home and she goes all "lol actually i gave you placebo itd be dangerous otherwise you numbfuck" but shes quickly muted once our man notices his dog friend in his yard... its time for a reunion a heart to heart conversation to proceed so he has to ditch his sis which he casually does bros before hoes

its again about the ball which HE WILL go and fetch by passing over the fence to get in neighbours yard but damn it cant be just that? wouldnt it make a lame crappy story? we need some actions, we got the tits, the beer, no job, delinquency has no limit so fuck it says the dog as he smashes the window and enters the bikers house because he SMELLS (like he smells the shit streaks you have on your pants) the weed, ryan is like "no fuck bro no shit fuck ah-" then sees the damn weed which they steal ok? hes really a pushover he has not got the right idea of stopping being one because thats what his new friends supposed to be here for yknow trynna get his loser into a winner, that lil camper gotta level up his game, go get into the business of life barging in kicking the door to enter, no shame nor hesitation were trying to make him STEP UP for HIMSELF but guess what? ill tell you later or itd be a spoil in a spoil surely a bad paradoxal medium w/e business going on blablabla theyre up to no good thats for sure as sure as how much ryans actually enjoy this the mans into this pee slash poop affair:

spoiler alert: he does it and

im just quoting him here : he never felt more alive nor glad to be so i guess thats whats life about shitting in peoples affair, stealing weed plants and quitting your job on your first day (you havent showed up tho so w/e you never really worked in that place no one knows you its all good you can get back in that place looking innocent and smiling with your broken ribs "yea nah i never had a job here and ditched yall huh" thats foxy of him kinda but not really since he had no intention back then to do anything for himself it was all strings pulled by a fucking dog hilarious really im having a kick haha no

so what next? theyre best friends? man and dog, a wonderful friendship happens he has no more family to support him but HE HAS A DOG guys he was so into it im feeling sorry for this hobot-to-be schizophrenic man

i wont spoil you but trust me when i say not to trust a furry who eats tits on your first date

in conclusion: it was a pretty decent first episode ill update my final thoughts on the first season once im done watching it but so far its recommandable the camera work is pretty cool like its not just thoughtless filming we actually have a nice feel to it, the setting of the series is esthetically pleasing you get nice colors and it aint boring, its not like a FRIENDS episode yknow? dawg i dislike how boring it looks filming wise for start but damn i aint reviewing FRIENDS rn so next, the comedy? after all its a comedy genre series not a drama, idk if id review an actual depressive show on here thatd bum the vibe out ok? i know im making all my revs awesome w/e it is that i choose to rate and comment but still im serving you a plate of my finest sheez not any fizzle in the mizzle ok?

anyway yea the humor aint bad, i havent laughed my ass of but i did find it amusing to watch the jokes may actually kick in in the second episode ill have to update this rev alright? just hang on to your balls peeps this fam will serve in due time

rating: 7,5/10 scenery/camera work 7/10 comedy 8/10 interest/entertaining points total: 7,5/10 for a first episode is fine enough to be recommanded, like a "give it a chance" sorta case yknow isnt the most hilarious show youll watch but its fine especially if youre into homoromantic tension between a furry and elijah wood

tg, out

#wilfred #review #series review #wilfred review #wilfred 2011 #furry #sike reviews

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azaraspirit · 5 years

Text

Sparkles and Thongs |TH|TEASER

IK ITS LaTE BUT I COUlDN’T WAIT TO SHARE A TEASEr FOR MY NEW NSFW FIC!!!!

tagging: @mcuspidey @starksparker @spiderboytotherescue @spideypeach @fanboy-tom @keepingupwiththeparkers

Summary: what happens when you fall in love with a stripper???

word count: over 1,3000 of almost pure smut

warnings: smut obv, strippers and pink thongs, lots and lots glitter, oral sex, mild language

A/N: I’m really proud of this one so reblogs, comments and feed backs would be greatly appreciated!!! I will post the full chapter later in the week!!! Enjoy!!!

You have heard of bachelorette parties getting wild but that usually applies to the bride-to-be. You never once thought that that would happen to you, a mere bridesmaid. But that’s exactly what happened one Saturday night.

One of your best friends was getting married and you were claimed a bridesmaid which you didn’t mind. You weren’t exactly a party person so the idea of a bachelorette party with guys shaking their asses in front of you didn’t seem like your cup of tea. That is until you left with one of them.

Your friend had to beg you to come, saying it wouldn’t be the same without you and because you’re a softie and had a hard time saying no, you found yourself getting into the party bus that would take you and your friends to a hit club in LA.

“Come on Y/N! Take a shot!” she shouted above the music that blasted in the bus. Neon lights glowed from the ceiling. “Shouldn’t we save that for the bar?” you asked.

“Pft no way! You need to loosen up!”

You rolled your eyes and took the shot. Your eyes closed shut as you tilt your head back to chug the alcohol down. You gagged. This shit was nasty.

“Big baby.” your friend murmured. Great. She was already tipsy.

“You’re gonna regret this tomorrow.” you grinned.

“I don’t think that far ahead.” she shot back.

You shook your head, smirking.

It didn’t take long to get to the bar. You and your friends made their way inside which was taped off from anyone else coming inside. Your eyes widened seeing several nearly naked men dancing on the stage with music blasting and lights flashing from every direction. A large disco ball spun from the ceiling.

“The bride has arrived!” shouted one of the dancers, only wearing a thong.

“Oh god.” you murmured to yourself. You wanted to ditch but a particular dancer caught your eye, making you blush. Most of the dancers moved to the center stage with the rest of your friends but he stayed where he was. He too was only wearing a thong and he was covered in glitter as he danced on the stage, twirling around a metal pole. You stood frozen, completely engulfed by his routine. Your vision tunneled. Voices drowned from the music as you stared. You found yourself walking closer to the stage. Your hands rested on the edge as you leaned closer.

The dancer smiled as he saw you approach him. “See somethin’ you like darlin’?”

OH GOD HE HAD A BRITISH ACCENT. You sure you cummed on the spot.

“You can say that.” you smirked.

“You the bride?” he asked as he continued swirling around the pole.

“Nope. Just a bridesmaid. My bride friend is over there.” You pointed to your friend who was currently tucking bills in another dancer’s thong as he shook his ass in front of her. Your other friend went ballistic.

The dancer chuckled. “Hm well I don’t think she’s the only one who should be having fun tonight eh darlin’?” he asked.

He knelt down, getting close to you enough to lift your chin with his finger. “You’re more of my type than any of your little friends.” His voice was like melted chocolate: smooth and dark.

Okay if you haven’t cummed yet you definitely did then. Your body shivered upon contact. Your eyes locked with his brown ones. Brown wasn’t your favorite color but it certainly was tonight.

“What would ya say if we got out of here darlin’?” he asked lustfully, smirking.

“I’d say I couldn’t wait that long.” you replied, smirking back.

The dancer chuckled. “I think I have a solution to our problem.”

You both looked around, seeing that no one was even paying one bit of attention to either of you. “I might get fired for this.” he said as he got down from the stage. He took your hand and you shivered again. Nearly his entire body shimmered under the lights. “My name’s Tom by the way.” he mentioned.

“Y/N.”

He chuckled. “Well Y/N, you’re about to have a good time.” The dancer who introduced himself as Tom, led you to the back that was hidden by a curtain.

Normally you might not do what you were about to do but then again your mind was influenced by alcohol and your core was so wet there was no way you were gonna leave without getting some.

Tom led you to a small area in the back of the club. There was a rounded bed decorated with pillows and silk sheets. He pulled the curtain. “So no one disturbs us yeah?”

You blushed hard. Wait till your friends hear about this. Tom approached you slowly. Your skin flooded with goosebumps as his thumb brushed your cheek, leaving a trail of glitter.

“There’s somethin’ I have to tell you darlin’.” he said, his voice husky and deep.

“Yes, Tom?”

“Can’t exactly fuck you traditionally while I’m on the clock-against the rules.”

You blinked, confused. “Then what can we do?”

“Everything else.” he whispered in your ear.

#all-about-tom #my fics #tom holland #tom fics #tom x reader #tom x you

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getallemeralds · 5 years

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Fix-it Leo: Katie / KG

welcome to something im tenatively calling “fix-it leo”, where i take my really old OCs and try to make sense of them! i’ve previously done this with Shadowy, which you can read here. seeing as im redrawing & “bringing back” a few other old ocs i figured id make this a series of talking about things! unlike the Shadowy one this doesnt have pictures beyond the initial ref bc i dont want to murder my hand and im also not sure how to draw some of this

today’s subject: Katie! also known as KG.

KG’s from 2010-ish, so some time after Shadowy but before the Shattered Worlds rework. to be as specific as possible, he’s from a RP setting that people that have known me closely have at least heard mentioned, if not seen snippets of it outright: KL, the massive crossover including any character and setting me & my friends wanted to RP.

as a self-insert character in crossover hell, Katie is VERY weird.

it was really hard for me to find info on Katie, because i actually had a bunch of OCs using that name that were my direct self-inserts for RP & story purposes both in and outside of KL. the unifying idea was that he was kinda just Me but in a fictional universe... and, apparently according to what info i DID find, all of the various Katies were. actually the same person, just in various conflicting situations with various conflicting backstories? so me stitching it all together got kinda weird. i did find a starting point though, so, uh... here we go!

as a general overview, Katie is pretty much just me. autistic, ADHD, likes videogames and art, bad social anxiety conflicting with desperately needing validation from everyone around him. he also has a very short temper and no volume control, which was usually a comedy thing but could also lead to him lashing out and doing/saying things he regrets, mostly hurting his friends. as a result he was kinda unpopular in his hometown... except for a small handful of friends he went to school with.

one night, he decides to go camp out with his friends to watch a meteor shower cause hes pretty fascinated by comets & shit like that. one of his friends, Elson, was acting pretty weird about it but Katie’s too excited to take much note of it up until the meteor shower “starts early” and Elson runs off into the woods. confused and startled, he gives chase. then, uh, the fucking apocalypse happens.

a lot of plot happens that im skipping over bc this is gonna be long enough as it is, but it gets revealed that Elson is actually an incognito alien named Elohim and an alien invasion is happening and wiping out civilization, and Katie is just. running out of sanity. being a main character SUCKS. he has a tragic backstory now, his friend (who he kind of had a crush on?) is an alien and is partially responsible for his tragic backstory, they join a rebellion after confirming “yeah your family’s dead as hell” and go to space, and finally find out that the leader of the aliens got a case of “jewelry makes you evil”.

they save the day obvs, with the help of some other people they ran into, and Katie has a moment of “well, fuck” bc his hometown is still extremely exploded and his family is still extremely dead and he’s like .5 miliseconds away from a mental breakdown. he then has a conversation that goes roughly like this:

person that helped them bust out of alien jail: hey, i think i know someplace you can stay katie: my house exploded person: cmon trust me

and then it turns out that that guy is actually Ninten and he’d just helped save the world with a fictional character, and before he has any opportunity to go “wait, what” he gets pulled through a portal by him and ends up somewhere totally different. more specifically, he’s now in the Earthbound universe, and his brain is going “[dial up noises]” a whole lot bc its not like his life was weird ENOUGH now he’s just... ditched his home reality??? with Ninten’s help??? and Ninten’s taking all of it in stride and ends up explaining the multiverse to him and that he’s one of the guys who ended up with the ability to worldhop and had stopped by Katie’s universe because he knew the possessed alien guy. he’s also apparently used to having to help people acclimate to massive paradigm shifts caused by multiversal fuckery.

so Katie’s just kinda trying to wrap his head around this, but takes Ninten up on his offer to go get to meet people and he goes to the Nowhere Islands! which was like, basically the hub location of KL. and then things get EXTRA surreal for Katie, because like... he used to write fanfic, and come up with story ideas that he daydreamed about a lot before everything exploded, and he bumps into Kurousu who is his OC. and there’s a lot of “UHHHH”-ing but he plays it off and befriends her, and its finally starting to sink in that yeah, he’s hanging out in this super weird crossover reality now, and he tries to make the most of it!

then some... weird things start happening. Tank, Joseph, and Vince make a jump to the Persona universe to do some plot stuff and run into Katie there, where he’s apparently joined SEES? except the last time they’d seen him, he’d been acting as a lackey to one of the arc villains because of a FMian from the Megaman universe screwing with him and taking advantage of his trauma to create a “new” Gemini Spark. and they start to write it off as “well i guess he’s like Tails where there’s some AUs of him running around” except... he recognizes them each time? but looks different and has different backstories and nothing really adds up. the next time a protagonist sees him, it’s Artemis post-getting turned into a Nobody finding Katie’s Nobody, Teixak, who apparently was very excited about getting to meet Roxas... despite, according to himself, having been living in Twilight Town for as long as he could remember. while also being very aware and very confused that that contradicts everything else about him.

teixak: eeee you mean i get to meet roxas?! he’s my favourite kingdom hearts character!! >w< rasemtix: ...you do realize you just told me youre from this universe, right? you were just explaining to me about how you lived here with leixand until the shadows attacked you two and stole your hearts. teixak: eh..? hm. ............Hm. but.... hm.

meanwhile on Katie’s end of things, he gets his heart stuffed back in his body and he reconciles with his externalized FMian-induced evil side and various other things from various other worlds, but everything feels weird and disjointed. he remembers attending school at Gekkougan, but also remembers living in Echo Ridge, but also remembers Twilight Town, but also remembers living in a boring world that got invaded by aliens where also all of this was just videogames and books and animes and OCs. and then things start getting weirder for him. he makes a joke to Artemis about “hey, remember when we got in a big fight cause i hit you with a sign?” and he doesn’t remember it. he teases Ninten about something personal and Ninten freezes up and asks him how he knows that, and Katie gets confused because he told him. he has an even more personal talk with T1, and then has the same talk later but with slightly different words. and it’s starting to look like it’s not just “various Katies”, it’s Katie also dealing with various... varieties of everyone else, and he’s pretty much spinning a wheel on “what version of events am i in today?”

he finally gets an answer after a while-- something went really weird and really wrong when Ninten first brought him into the KL multiverse. the Katie that told Gomess about the Andromeda Key is the same Katie that joined SEES is the same Katie that got his heart stolen is the same Katie that got rescued from an apocalypse, but he’s sort of... existing simultaneously in different realities with slight “adjustments” to his personal history depending on what universe he’s encountered in. he also exists “outside of canon”, so some of the weirder memories he has are from rewrites or scrapped plotlines or noncanon moments that sometimes clip into canon when theyre not supposed to. apocalypse!Katie is the “primary”/original Katie, and that’s where all his weird meta knowledge comes from.

it’s... really confusing, and nobody really “gets” it, least of all Katie himself. he just knows that he’s ended up with a bunch of cool powers, although he’s not really sure what he’s doing and has been a villain at least two universes. he also has a severe case of main character-itis (hence getting a Persona, getting his heart stolen, etc), and still isnt sure how to tell if he’s interacting with the “canon” versions of everybody or not. he’s at least unable to cause weird bizarre paradoxes by interacting with himself; trying to visit one of the universes he has an “echo” in just causes a perspective switch to the resident Katie. Katie also has access to all of his abilities as long as he’s not in a universe with a resident Katie; apocalypse!Katie has no abilities at all, starforce!Katie only has his FMian transformation, kh!Katie can only use his Keyblade, etc. this only starts being a thing after he “clicks” with his new existence.

he also has various outfits and aesthetics depending on universe, with the one i drew being his “outside canon“/default one. he gets cat ears! and Outsider eyes. Katie also has a bad habit of stealing things from universes he visits, and as a result has a collection of random things that he really shouldnt.

#txt #leo chirps #leos ocs #fixit leo #oc: KG

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archerwindsor · 3 years

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How to Up Your Skincare Game when you don’t have hundreds to spend

affordable skin care

It’s January: time for “out with the old and in with the new,” particularly for those of us glow-getters who buy the latest and greatest affordable skin care products–on the Daily. If you watched my recent YouTube video on resetting for the new year, you’d know I’m all ears for a fresh start. And what better way than to start with your skin!? Its the perfect month to refresh our mountain o’ beauty products. You know, the ones that once made us blush with anticipation?

Remember how excited you were when you bought that one awesome cream? Taking it out of its crisp, beautifully branded box, dabbing a bit under your eyes or on your cheeks, and making it your No. 1 go-to elixir for the week? Wow. It held so much promise! It was “micro” this and “macro” that and triple detoxified the sh*t out of your face. Until, of course, the next dewy balm in killer packaging grabbed your attention, and then, the poor forgotten product became wedged behind the toothpaste and Neosporin in your bathroom cabinet for the next year–or more. I mean honestly, when was the last time you checked the expiration date? OK, skin queens. Let’s refresh. We need to ditch those outdated, and often over-priced products and give your daily skincare routine a boost with some amazing affordable skin care products that are on our radar.

We get it. There is a seemingly endless array of lotions and potions for us to slather on fine selves. But girl, we have foraged the beauty landscape to identify some awesome and affordable skin care products that we think are gonna dazzle your dermis. These pillars of skin care address all of our beauty concerns ranging from hyperpigmentation, dry skin, oily/combination skin, and sun care — and girl, they include some super affordable skin care products, made mostly from all-organic ingredients! Together, we are gonna regenerate that damaged skin without wrecking your wallet.

Indoor Sunscreen?

And let’s talk for a sec about all the things that wreak havoc on our skin. Topping the list is too much screen time. Yeah, this past year of intermittent lock-downs and Zooming didn’t do us any favors to reduce exposure to all that blue light. Yup, concentrated sources of blue light energy from phones, indoor lighting and computers stressed our skin right on out, causing photo-aging and hyperpigmentation. There’s this chemical in our skin called flavin and it absorbs blue light. This produces free radicals that damage our dermis. Obvs we need to step up our game to repair and hydrate our skin because, damn, we don’t need yet another age-y thing! Well, we found a mineral sunscreen to help both indoors and out!

C’est Moi Gentle Mineral Sunscreen Lotion Broad Spectrum SPF 30 ($14.99 on Amazon) is an affordable skincare product and super effective! While gently nourishing sensitive skin types, this fragrance-free lotion delivers moisture and hydration while guarding skin from free radical damage.

We also love Cerave’s Broad Spectrum SPF 30 tinted mineral sunscreen because it’s 100% mineral and has a great blend of ceramides, niacinamide, and hyaluronic acid to keep skin hydrated and protected ($15.99 on Amazon). And it also gives you a lovely glow without a white cast.

Cleanse + Purify

If you’ve ever looked at your skin super up close (like in one of those magnifier mirrors), you might see some gnarly stuff hanging around your pores. Imagine putting product on top of that? Eww. Starting your skin routine off with a good scrub down really helps purify your skin and allows other products to glide on easier — and absorb better. We recommend Aveeno’s Positively Radiant daily scrub ($5.64 on Amazon). Made with natural soy extract, this cleanser is great to use on the daily to wipes away impurities for softer brighter even-toned skin.

And if you’re prone to acne, we recommend a product with salicylic acid like Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Fighting Facial Cleanser ($15.72 on Amazon) This affordable skin care product helps fight breakouts while cleansing your skin.

Seeing spots

One of the worst things about aging skin is hyperpigmentation. UGH. This happens when we have an excess production of melanin — that’s the pigment that gives skin its color. But sometimes due to sun exposure or hormones, these unsightly blotchy spots start to surface on our hands and face as we get older.

Neutrogena Rapid Tone Repair Dark Spot Corrector Face Serum with Hyaluronic Acid, Retinol & Vitamin C ($17.96 on Amazon) is da bomb when it comes to eliminating unsightly pigmentation. The daily facial serum helps make your skin oh so bright and even-toned and helps ditch those stubborn dark spots and skin discoloration. Because who wants their skin looking like cowhide?

Another amazing serum you might try to maintain your skin’s buoyant appearance is The Ordinary’s Buffet ($14.80 on The Ordinary website). Their ‘Buffet’ serum is a peptide serum for morning and night use to target multiple signs of aging at once. We love how it takes on all annoying signs of damaged skin with bona fide technology… including “Matrixyl

3000 peptide complex!” Color us impressed. I mean a lot of people in lab coats researched the heck out of this one so you can continue to look fab. #Grateful

Hydrate your thirsty skin

We’re always telling you babes to hydrate. Well, guess what, that means your skin, too. Using a good basic hydrating lotion is a must in your affordable skin care arsenal in fighting against aging skin. One of my favs is the Paula’s Choice Replenishing Moisturizer ($29 on Amazon). This moisturizer fits the bill for an affordable everyday moisturizer with a proprietary blend of plant- and vitamin-derived antioxidants and other ingredients for instant and lasting hydration for dry skin. It’s even good for those with sensitive skin and those who have eczema. You might get all cheeky when you drench your dermis with this because your face will feel as soft as a baby’s bottom!

Puffy Peepers

When we look tired, one of the main culprits is dark, unsightly circles beneath our eyes. A good eye cream does wonders for smoothing away wrinkles and brightening the skin under our peepers. Because crepes belong in the kitchen, not on our face.

A good eye cream can be an investment. We like La Roche Posay’s Redermic C Eyes Anti-Wrinkle Firming Moisturizing Filler ($49.99 on Amazon). This all-in-one eye cream addresses dark circles, free radical damage, fine lines and wrinkles, crow’s feet and firmness. That’s what we call multi-tasking! Sure, it’s a wee pricier, but a little goes a long way, and also it’s French, so. Yeah.

Saggy skin sucks

OK, so that time you looked in the mirror and saw a Shar-Pei looking back at you? Aaaack. We all know you’re still gorge! But shocking, isn’t it when gravity pulls at your face and neck and you never saw it coming because you exercise, eat right and on occasion even do those strange facial exercises? Several factors can contribute to skin sag like weight loss, pregnancy & fluctuating hormones, and of course aging. We have one word for you: Collagen.

Skin aging has been linked to the reduction of collagen production. Good news is that there are products that help us get back our skin’s elasticity. Products with collagen pack a punch when it comes to regaining our skin’s firmness. After all, it’s one of the biggest building blocks in providing structure to our skin. And kinda bad News: Collagen can also be expensive.

Algenist’s Genius Liquid Collagen ($110 on Amazon) is made with plant collagen with added Microalgae Oil beads to hydrate and nourish, among other amazing vitamins, antioxidants, and acids to plump your skin. The company says its vegan formula helps enhance skin’s bounce and resilience in just 10 days! Woah. And if you slather on their buttery sleep mask ($85 on Amazon) on a nightly basis, you wake up looking all supple and dewy.

A more affordable skin care option containing collagen is Derma E’s Advanced Peptides & Collagen Moisturizer ($21 on Amazon). Loaded with peptides and collagen, this moisturizer is a good bet for restoring vibrancy to your skin.

All around must-have salve

We always love discovering that one all-around great affordable skin care product that top celebrity make-up artists have in their stash. This year’s “find” is Green Goo ($24.95 on Amazon), an all in one natural salve for acne spots, scars, wrinkles, puffy eyes, sunspots, minor burns, sunburns, and sun-damaged skin. And… we can even use it to create a dewy look on cheekbones after we apply our make-up. Your friends will simply be green with envy! We especially love this product because the company, Green Goo, is women-owned, family-run, and B-Corp certified!

Babes, we hope we helped uncover some affordable skin care products that can invigorate your skin care regime without denting your bank account. Now go and check expiration dates, toss those old lotions and replenish your cabinet! We’d love to hear how they work out for you! And let’s not stop the reset here! If you loved this blog, you’ll love my blog where I give you all the deets on what I’m doing to reset my life for 2021.

The post How to Up Your Skincare Game when you don’t have hundreds to spend appeared first on Love Sweat Fitness.

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andrewiam · 7 years

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Wow

So just because I’m friends with my ex (I didn’t disclose the fwb thing, but obvs that would have stopped if we dated), this guy who wanted to take me to dinner pulled a huge 180, flipped out, and blocked me. Like...wtf?? He had a lot of the same interests, was really sweet, held good conversation...but then just ditched me telling me he was too jealous. Like...not like I’m gonna get back with my ex..what kind of insecurity...

#thoughts

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elizabethschoices · 7 years

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The Freshman, Book 4, Chapter Four: My Thoughts

So like, why bring luggage in the place if you were just gonna leave the next day? Seriously, save the arm work and just grab a few clothes to wear to bed and then to get dressed in the next morning. I’m either efficient or lazy.

So we’re going to go to a club, and apparently we gotta get there early because it fills up fast. Chris says we just had lunch, but then James explains that it’s in Manhattan, which is two hours away, more with traffic. Which means we gotta go now.

Someone texted James, and he got all frowny-faced. Who is it? Is it Yasmin? Some other chick? MOFO WE JUST BROKE UP LIKE?!?!

It’s his friend Teddy (Let’s have a game on the Teddy Picker) and apparently ol’ boy is trying to make it big in comedy. He invited James to open mic night. Apparently James has to rain check for poor timing. And I’m sitting here like bruh, fuck the club let’s go have a laugh.

I’m up for some comedy. Aww, Chris mentioned Tyler. I miss him! He’s always been a sweetie and a good friend. I wonder how he and Abbie are? Hopefully the exact opposite of Zack and Brandon.

Yay, we’re gonna go see a show! I’d much rather go to stand-up than some stupid club that’ll be jam-packed with too many people.

🎶ON THE ROAD AGAIN!🎶

By the time we get to Soho, it’s late afternoon and walking through the streets. Judging by how Zig and Zack (lmao alliteration buddies) are talking about how casually everyone is dressed, I sense a premium clothing option coming up. Yaaay.

😒🤑😟

So we get to the club and apparently it’s some kind of secret shit because James knocked and then a god damn eye slit opens up. They want a password.

Hello, The Freshman, allow me to introduce you to some bullshit trope we used in Rules of Engagement.

The password is given and literally WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT?!?! WE WEREN’T EVEN GIVEN THE DAMN PASSWORD.

Whatever. Now we’re in the club and Teddy is on stage now. He was kinda hot until I lifted my iPad up a bit and actually looked at him.

Also, I don’t care what your joke is. If it ends with the punchline being ‘floundered’ then your joke isn’t fucking funny. Oh god is this guy gonna flop? Are we gonna have to act like we think he’s hilarious?

Apparently Teddy is actually pretty funny. I’ll believe it when I see it.

This game stresses me out sometimes. So we ditched a club for a comedy show and missed his show? Or did he finish it out and we got to see the rest? I’m lost and a detail-oriented person, Pixelberry.

Yeah, I’m not a fan of yours, Theodore.

So if we’re good friends of James, what is Teddy? Absolutely none of these options, that’s what. Whatever, I’m single so I’ll flirt. He’s *shudders* easy on the eyes.

Yeah, no, I take it back. He’s not hot and he’s damn sure not funny. His jokes are old and stale, and I can’t actually hear his delivery so it’s technically not applicable, but in my head that sucks too. He’s a god damned Amy Schumer.

I like him more when he’s not trying to be funny. We shake hands and then he squeezes into the booth. Together we all watch other stand-up artists perform, and then the emcee asks if anyone else wants to perform.

MC volunteers Zack (heh puns sort of whatever Tyler would appreciate it) who says he’s not that funny. I think he’s pretty humorous. Zig is probably funnier though, tbh. But Vasquez gets top marks.

(“Top marks for not tryin’!”)

Chris is such a Mary Sue, omg. Knock everyone’s socks off? Who says that? Ngl, probably me at some point.

God dammit MC I can’t be funny on command. I’m just a salty bitch. Oh fuck I brought the joke book no. This dumbass thinks a fucking joke book will woo the crowd who came for funny shit, not stupid, unoriginal stuff THAT SOMEBODY ELSE CAME UP WITH AND EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS. I hate my MC.

Ohh, roasting. My area.

I. Love. Zig.

The group is okay with it so we head onto the stage. Thank fuck she’s not gonna read out jokes from the book. I’d have deleted the app, s2g.

Yet implies we’ll be roasting ourselves. Well that’s no fun, having self-awareness. Breaks up her narrative without actually developing the character!

They say intelligent people have a hard time finding love. They say the same thing about assholes.

We’re gonna roast Zig because I’m sure there won’t be any ties to my failed relationship with James because that’d just be too hard.

Someone should pull MC off the stage because this is not funny at all. Ever noticed that when you try to do humor, you aren’t funny? But when you’re not, you can be hilarious?

Jfc so what you’re the Deborah of the group also what happens if you’ve named your MC Deborah? #NotAllDeborahs

I wear low-riding jeans, thank you very much.

Not funny, 0/10, thumbs down, DO. NOT. RECOMMEND.

Zack decides he’ll get on stage and I hope he’s actually funny. I don’t have high hopes. It’ll probably turn into a meltdown about Brandon and the single life.

FUCKING HELL THIS IS A CURSE NOT A GIFT

Sad music and talk about being single already. Fucking A, man. Hopefully it perks up.

No audience would say 'tell me about it’ about this shit, you cannot fucking play me Pixelberry.

I gotta lay off Louis C.K.

Zack has probably from the minute we met him been all about Brandon. What does he actually like? Idfk. Outside of Brandon, who is he? His entire story arc seems to revolve around crushing on Brandon, being in a relationship with him, struggling with long-distance with him, and then finally missing him post-breakup. I’m ready for a change, Zack.

Also, I came for comedy, not for Slam Poetry.

OH MY GOD THIS JUST TURNED INTO ONE OF THOSE OBVS FAKE TUMBLR POSTS WHERE EVERYONE CLAPS AT THE END

I hate this book.

Can it end? Please?

Do I want to go to Club Fuse? No, I want the chapter to end.

Is Teddy seriously trying to give us tips? Or wanting to collaborate? Or an experienced guy wanting to get some tips from two people who don’t know the field? Idk anymore, man. This has turned into some Full House type shit.

MC spots a red pantsuit and lmao Hillary Clinton, 2k16. Kaitlyn is calling us now. Honestly, despite previously not liking her all that much because of Book 3, I’ve cooled off a bit. She’s pretty cool for the most part. And I think this book would be ten times better with her in it full-time. We’ll see what happens when we get to her.

Again, wtf was the point? We got her approval on the outfit that I’m not going to buy, big fucking whoop. No new information was presented. No drama bombs. Absolutely nothing to forward the story in any way. This is all just filler content. This is just a bullshit story for money and not for the sake of telling a god damned story. I’m legit considering not reading this book any longer. But I need diamonds, so I’ll do it anyway. Doesn’t mean I’ll waste my time reviewing it.

We’re sticking to our old clothes.

I’m ready for this chapter to be over. I’m not even trying anymore. Ugh.

We get to the club and flirt with Teddy a bit, he bullshits with Zack. Asks for roasting tips. Hm. I am pretty fucking good at it.

He leaves. Another pointless conversation. MC says he’s into Zack? Good god shoot me. Teddy was screaming 'fuck me MC’ but nooo, we’re gonna turn it on Zack because why the fuck not, not like my MC is single, right?

I hate, hate, hate this book.

It’s great 'cause he’s fucking friendly, idk.

Also, MC, fuck off. He’s heartbroken still about Brandon so stop pushing him to someone else. He needs to fucking heal and he can’t do that by just “moving on” all of a sudden.

Zack says Teddy is into us. Fucking obviously. And of course this moron is gonna say he’s into both. I truly hate my MC. The boys come back with drinks. Fucking give me twenty, I wanna die.

And now we get the 'Zig is bi’ drop which would be fine if we weren’t talking about Teddy who is not fucking hot.

MC wants to go dance. Fall down and get trampled then, bitch. Ugh. I am so salty right now. Sorrynotsorry.

I am not wasting diamonds on Teddy. Let someone else grab him, idgaf. And great, throw Zig at some one-off character instead of me, someone who is single and also the main character.

Zack starts panicking because there are too many people and didn’t he happily go mosh last book? Whatever. I’m happy we’re out because the club wasn’t our scene.

We eat hot dogs for dinner and chill out. We start singing. Someone throw us a dollar or something. Or shoot us. I’m open to all kinds of things.

End chapter. I’ll consider reviewing the next one tomorrow, since I’m a week behind it but also very much hate this book right now.

#the freshman #the freshman book 4 #choices #playchoices #choices stories we play #choices stories you play #i'm salty #there are a lot of f bombs in this post #i regret none of them #i'm really upset right now #i hate this book

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survivorcordillerablanca · 7 years

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Episode 9 Confessionals

dammit i aligned with the one person everyone wanted out in the merge first.. why is jordan pines still here? well im using my power and bouncing the fuck out next round--- see ya suckers!

i hate blindsides. like people are always like "omg BLINDSIDE haha this is so fun!!" no. theyre not fun. do u rlly like having to own up to everything after tribal to people u just betrayed and u cant tell them EVERYTHING that happened but u have to tell em something and tey always feel betrayed. not fun, and katies obv pretty hurt while bryce is hiding it. like im not gonna blindside if its always this unfun. i dont wanna spill my guts and be all weird bc i dont like doing it :/ but telling people who im voting isnt fun either idek

So the vote didn't go my way. Someone is working with jordan and luke. i think the way the votes fell it was me and chris on jordan, katie on luke, willow on me, and charlotte, luke, jordan, carson, zach on chris. everyone is saying that it was last minute and just wanted to go with the majority. but that doesnt add up. i was told that i wasnt clued in because they didnt know if i was close with chris or not. and that they wanted to flush the idol that jordan has. but if you all vote with him he obviously wont play it?? also i wasnt told because chris chose me to go on the wishing well im pretty sure which is lame. we werent even close and i would be fine voting him even if i think its the wrong move seeing as how luke and jordan need to go sooner or later. im most betrayed by carson because i told him hes my number 1 and he said the same but he doesnt let me know saying it was last minute. but he talked to me right before the vote and said it was jordan so clearly it wasnt too last minute. willow voting me is so random but i need to make sure i get her back with me b/c i think i can use her. this vote has brought me and katie closer i think which is good, she really seems to think that charlotte was the mastermind of the vote and i kind of agree. i just dont get why charlotte wanted us to split and then do this. she convinced chris to split too i believe which is sad for him. but like why would she make a split if she already had 5 votes. so i think its maybe not her, or she was doing that for extra caution. anyway people still have these advantages from the auction so im wary and just want to win the immunity to secure myself. i need to work on my relationship with luke and willow i think b/c i think that can be beneficial moving forward.

katie used her power.. like why?? i love katie but like.. that was dumb. after me incessantly telling her, youre fine, youre safe. but whatever. (but i get her point of view too because i wouldnt trust me after telling her i was voting jordan then helping her split votes on luke then voting chris out lmao) hopefully the plan of getting jordan out can work this round even though katie using her power semi? nto really complicates the plan. patience sucks by the way

Jordan won immunity which is PERFECt because it means he can't be voted out but now I'm just worrying about me. I know we managed to get the numbers last round but I'm nervous about whether or not people will vote me off this round or not, especially since I'm the only vulnerable Copa at tribal council. That being said I /do/ have 2 idols in my pocket so I could just pull one of those but I wanna try and wait as long as I can before I have to use those. Ideally I want Willow out this round, I don't really talk to her and I don't think she trusts me especially after we played Dead Sea together and I had a hand in exposing the idol that she played incorrectly (oops?)! Zach didn't really like the idea of getting Willow out but Jordan wants to so I'm gonna see what I can do. It ain't over yet

*play like jenna.. play like jenna... play like jenna... PLAY LIKE JENNA*

I hope to be a swing vote next round

Carson: What do you want to do about tribal? Me, probably: Blindside Zach.

So we're talking about voting out Willow this round.

She's nice, but there are no real allegiances (as far as I know) that she has in this game. Her vote was wild last round for Bryce, so it should be easy to get him on board to vote for her too. Jordan and Zach both need to go at some point but right now they, and Carson, are the only people I enjoy talking to so ... maybe I'll play this out and just bring a bunch of threats to the end with me. Why not? Can you imagine a final three filled with people who actually played decent games? It'd be a blood bath to see who wins and I am SO here for that.

this vote is a little intricate. but before I get into that, I want to explain other stuff. I was so close to copying Jordan's score because I knew from a past game he got perfect, so I would only assume he'd get it again. That being said, I would've felt really shitty and it may have potentially fractured my relationships with some of them. anyway the five person alliance type thing of char/luke/jordan/carson/myself aint going to stick much longer because..... everyone wants me out. I wanted Bryce out and i got it going but unfortunately people are doing willow.

Willow leaving is kind of bad for my game, but nonetheless it's the decision and I can't resist it much. I plan on telling her the truth, and getting her to use her golden fan so that I can maybe get a new power because my rope fucking sucks (well, sometimes it can, but its a tiebreaker rip) I think if she didnt use it, she'd give it to me? and i think thatd be fine but i dont want to use it because luke would be mad, so if she's leaving, then why not just let it be her since she's leaving anyway? I love Willow to death though so her leaving is going to be sad :( I think ideally the next person i'd want out is Jordan. One of the trio of L/C/J have to leave, and i'm least closest with Jordan and despite Char being like... opened about wanting me out because i can go on a comp streak, i don't want her out bryce can leave too. i dont talk to him much, but he's a nice guy! the game's the game, and it sucks though. Also it's fucking crazy how already its final 8 like?? it feels like the game started lowkey like 2 days ago and .... we're almost half way done.. wait we are DSMGODSMGDS okay done

"honestly i love how in this game votes are determined like ~6 hours before the vote and its settleede easily for the most part" zach even tho we've only had three votes including this one and the last one he said he was" told last minute" so what the truth!!! I think we're voting willow here everyone seems to be on board but i was blindsided last time and theres no saying I wont be blindsided again. I really wanted to win immunity but i flopped big time but maybe itll make people think im not a threat. Im gonna try to bring me carson zach charlotte back together and hope for the best because it would be 4-3. but also i want to remain close with katie even tho she ditched me... iconic queen. She told carson before hand but not me so thats interesting i guess!

willow targeted charlotte and spread her name, and charlotte acc does have some power so... ppl (bryce) ratted to charlotte and now willow's on the chopping block. sigh. im fine with willow going i guess ill just need a new final 3 person for me and zach?? whatevs. also willow has a golden fan apparently that mixes up the golden fan so me + zach r gonna try and get her to use it before tribal so we can possibly get some items. also.. at the start of this tribal EVERY name was tossed out besides me and zach. this could be because people know we're close or maybe we actually are in a good position. i think its the former but who knows. hoping this vote can be pulled off easily and i won't be the blindsidee tonight.

Currently trying to get the votes to get Willow out. So far I think I have me, Jordan, Charlotte and Bryce and with Katie gone that's majority for this vote. Zach still doesn't want to do it but I may just have to go behind his back on this vote and not do what he wants but that's the game. Hoping this works because I have a really weird feeling about tonight.

Okay so as of currently I think Carson, Zachary and Charlotte are the biggest threat and I want Charlotte gone lowkey

But I'm at my friends house so I don't have lots of time as usual ugh, also I'm a dumbass who got the challenge time wrong also Bryce suspected it was me who voted for him last round rip

I've been being jewish all day so im just here now, so first confessional - hooray jordan finally won a fucking immunity challenge, it took way too long rtp. like seriously wtf

Anyways splitting this confessional up into 2 cause tribal is soon and i got nothing to talk about, but like bye willow, you were cool i guess, we didnt talk. sorry hon

Okay so like its definitely gonna be me tonight and I sorta tried but I think it's gonna be a unanimous vote and I just wanted to say I love Zach and Carson and I hope they do well in this game and I'm excited to use my fan and stir shit up right before I leave and continue only ever getting 8th in side seasons

i gave zach my idol bc im a paranoid bitch and have a bad feeling about this vote. also FUCK everyone for wanting (or faking) to vote out literal ANGEL Willow. i just like told her im voting her and love her and wanna be friends after :// Also idk. i have a weird feeling. if i am blindsided, then good game bitches.

#NotAGameForLapdogs

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