#obviously we r doubling the recipe this year

[micamicster]

There’s a note written into my family’s recipe book SPECIFICALLY STATING do not! be tempted to double the pancake recipe! And every year we’re like hmm seems fake. Better double it

#elaborate whipped egg pumpkin pancake that we only make once a year #obviously we r doubling the recipe this year

[bush-viper-cutie]

Pretending

Pairing: Snape x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,223

Rating: E for Everyone

Plot:  Severus is forced to attend Lucius’ party. The plan is simple, get rejected enough times, have Lucius think he’s a helpless cause, and go back to Hogwarts to continue reading his book. 

Warnings: None

A/N: For Snape Appreciation Month, prompt 9: Snape is a pureblood. @snapeloveposts​

Posted: 6/20/20

Masterlist

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

Severus tried twisting his arm out of Lucius’ grip as he was dragged down the Malfoy Manor entrance hall and through two rococo style double doors into their dancing hall. A live band played in the center as dozens of families gathered and talked or danced around the room.

“You’ve come all this way, so just go talk to people!” Luscious let go of his hand and straightened his coat. “If you haven’t found someone to share your life with – ”

Severus groaned.

“So help me I will set you up with Narcissa’s great aunt!” Lucius stormed away.

Severus scoffed and dusted off his sleeve. “Why did I agree to go to this. I’m perfectly fine reading in my office,” he grumbled.

He would have to make a show of looking. He knew that by the way Lucius was staring him down from across the room. The plan was simple. He would just have to talk to people that would NEVER give him a second of their time, and after a couple of rejections he would see it was pointless and he could be back in his office reading before the clock chimed at twelve.

He glanced at several dancing figured and then at the small groups of people talking and laughing. He spotted several targets of interest. He walked up to an elaborately dressed man with lavender purple tails and a matching gem broach and nodded politely.

The man looked him up and down and walked away. He could admit it stung, but not as much as the inconvenience of being here. He looked over at Lucius who was sipping at his wine while observing him and continued onto the next victim.

This time he offered a polite “Hello” but the man simply copied him and turned back to his partner. Alright I didn’t really expect to simply show up and be turned down… he huffed and walked away, turning his sights on a group of women laughing by the band and a less wealthy group on the other side.

He didn’t feel like immediate rejection and figured the less showy group would let him speak at least a few more words but he was sorely mistaken. They closed of any spaces and huddled closer as they saw him approach with intent.

“Lucius, I swear – ” he pinched the bridge of his nose and walked over to the wealthiest looking group, hoping it would be the last rejection of the night before he could walk back defeated and be allowed to leave and spend his Saturday night in peace reading Kybelen’s new book Forbidden Potion Recipes Lost to Time and Law.

This group consisted of several women with sparkly jewels and gems adorning their long-layered gowns. Two more with braided up-dos with exotic feathers while the other two wore their hair down with a glass hair piece reflecting colorful light all around.

He cleared his throat as he approached, and they looked back at him. He noticed their eyes trailing over his attire and could see their eyes rolling. He regretted wearing the outfit Lucius had sent him, even if it was fancy-looking, everyone could tell he didn’t belong in it.

“Hello,” one of the women greeted him in and stepped aside, making room for him to join.

He stepped into the little circle and greeted everyone. Relieved, his mission now was simple. Open his mouth, get rejected, go home, and finish reading before his NEWT class on Monday.

“Evening,” Severus gave a small bow.

“We were discussing Kybelen’s new book,” the girl closest him smiled.

Severus turned to face her, surprised. She had long flowing hair and a glass bow on her head and in her white gloved hands was the very book.

“Indeed,” he breathed out. “What exactly?”

The other woman sighed, “I think those ‘uncovered’ recipes should have stayed buried in ‘time’. It’s absolutely irresponsible to publish them. I mean, what happens if people try to actually brew them? If the Ministry forbids it for our safety, then why tell the world?” she huffed, completely flustered.

Severus turned back to the girl with the book in her hand and saw she was rolling her eyes.

“See, Mr…”

“Snape.”

The group narrowed their eyes at him, as if trying to puzzle together what kind of family name it was, however the woman with the book payed no attention and continued.

“Mr. Snape, I believe it is right and fair we were given back the knowledge that was stolen from us by the Ministry. These recipes were discovered and perfect and then stolen and burned and hidden for fear of Muggles and their hatred of us and our fear of them. I’ve counted over eleven forgotten techniques in this book that could revolutionize how we brew potions today, and I’m not even finished with it yet.”

Another woman, clearly amused by the argument laughed, “Mr. Snape. What, may I ask, is your opinion on this controversial new book?”

Severus cleared his throat, excited to talk about it, “Well, I agree with Miss,” he turned to the glass bow woman.

She smiled, enthused to have someone on her side, “Marigold Demar-Dor.”

“I agree with Miss Demar-Dor. Already several journals have been released theorizing about the possible changes and effects certain potions will have with these new techniques,” he noticed her smiling at him and continued, “And I personally don’t find it wrong to learn and have knowledge of them. Just because we now know them does not mean they should become legal to brew.”

Marigold nodded, “Well said, Mr. Snape. And please, call me Marigold.”

“Severus, then.” He smiled back at her and noticed she stepped closer to him.

“Yes, but what if some Muggle-born or Half-blood decide to try the one to do with giving a muggle temporary magic on a squib, or worse on a Muggle.”

Marigold laughed, “It was never proven and that’s not how magic works. Obviously back then they received some sort of result that made Muggles appear to have magic. I’m sure half the potions we brew now would give similar effects should we feed them to Muggles.”

“The cure for Flame Breath makes Muggles levitate several inches in their sleep but not wizards. The Ministry manages to keep Wizards from giving it to muggles and I see no reason why it should not be the same for these,” Severus smiled back at the look Marigold was giving him.

“Yes, well true Purebloods would not be keen on the thought of that potion circulating society once more.”

“The Demar-Dors haven’t had a drop of Muggle blood in a century and I see no problem with it,” Marigold folded her arms.

“Mr. Snape, what about you?”

Severus swallowed. This was his chance to escape but he couldn’t bring himself to ruin his night just yet. He was glad to hear her thoughts and opinions on a book he knew no one else cared about, and he didn’t mind in the least the smile she gave him.

“My family has been Purebloods for generations, and I too side with Marigold,” he noticed her arm was now brushing against his.

They had clearly won the argument as the opposing woman looked away in anger.

“Severus, will you dance with me?” Marigold looped her arm in his and turned him towards her.

Severus smiled and led them out of the group, taking her copy and placing it in his pocket. He took her hand and placed his other on her waist and began dancing. Marigold slid her free hand from his arm and up to his shoulder.

She smiled at him and played with his hair as they danced. The song changed and slowed, and she took up his invitation at a second dance. She placed her head on his shoulder and twirled alongside him. After the slow dance she took his arm and guided him through the crowd into the entrance hall and out the back glass-paneled doors.

“You dance wonderfully, Severus,” she looped her arm back through his and rested her head on his shoulder. “How do you know Lucius?”

“School friends. We both went to Hogwarts.”

“He’s never mentioned you,” she looked up at him.

He looked away, knowing Lucius wasn’t the type to bring up any Half-blood friends he might have to any of his wealthier, more pure friends.

She kissed his cheek and stepped back, “There’s a fountain in the garden, would you like to find it with me?”

“I know where it is,” Severus held out his elbow, but she took his hand instead, waiting for him to lead.

They walked in the bright moonlight through the rose bushes and he couldn’t help but feel like a prince from a fairytale. The night had turned lovely, but he couldn’t allow himself to feel anything real. He lied about his status and by the time the clock strikes twelve the party would be over, and he would be back at Hogwarts, reading his book.

Marigold pulled him up the steps and sat them down at the fountain’s edge. Almost like a dream, the fountain lights turned on and the pink-tinted water started pouring out. Marigold leaned into him and planted a gentle kiss on his lips.

“Tell me about yourself, Severus,” Marigold kissed his lips one last time before letting him speak.

“I teach potions at Hogwarts.”

Marigold’s eyes lit up instantly, “Potions was my favorite subject! Now I wish I had gone to Hogwarts, although we might not have been in the same year,” she laughed.

Severus smiled and looked away. His guilt was starting to eat at him and began to mix with dread and sadness. She was beautiful and clearly had the same passion for potions as he did, she even carried the book with her much like he had wanted to do.

He felt her soft glove brush his fingers before she placed her hand on his. He turned back and she kissed his lips once more, filling him with warmth and longing. She looked, talked, and acted like a princess and he wanted to treat her like one for more than just one night.

“Any other subjects you enjoyed?”

Marigold blushed and looked away, “I might have enjoyed… the Dark Arts class.”

Perfect. She’s perfect. His heart broke at the inevitable loss he’d endure tonight. He wondered what she was really like, away from Lucius’ house, away from her friends, just on her own, in a more normal setting. Would she like his personality?

They kissed once more and he heard a distant clock chime, marking the end of the day and the start of a new one. She pulled away from him and brushed her thumb on his cheek. He sighed and looked away, staying still even as she stood.

“Severus?”

“Marigold… You should go on. It was nice meeting you,” Severus hung his head and let his hair fall forward. He crossed his arms, resting them over his knees.

She sat back down and placed a hand over his shoulder, “I’d like to see you again.”

Severus rolled his eyes, “No. You wouldn’t. I’m not a – ” his nails dug into his palms as he squeezed his hands into tighter fists. “I’m not a Pureblood,” he hissed. Disgusted at the words coming out of his mouth. “I’m a bloody Half-blood,” he spat on the ground beside him, loathing how he felt. Ashamed.

She placed her hand on his cheek and pulled his attention towards her. He frowned, confused at her continued affection and was about to speak when she kissed him suddenly.

Her lips were warm and sweet, and her nose pressed against his cheek, heating them up to what he knew would be an obvious pink blush. He closed his eyes and leaned into her kiss, parting his lips with hers and placing his hand on her arm.

“You don’t have to pretend to be a Pureblood around me, Severus. Being one doesn’t make you better,” she pulled on his lip with hers and made him smile. “Obviously it doesn’t make you better considering I’ve rejected several Purebloods at this party and yet decided to dance with you.” She tilted her head and pecked at his lips, “You are far more interesting, and far cuter than any man here,” she kissed his cheek and stood up, offering him her hand.

He took it, “Then you still want to see me again?”

“What were you planning on doing after this party?”

Severus felt very on the spot. He didn’t want to assume where her question was leading and yet he didn’t want to lie. If there was ever a time to use Legilimency on anyone he would use it on her now. He held his hand behind his back and fidgeted, trying to decide on an answer.

“I was going to go back to Hogwarts and read the book. Nothing-else,” he winced at how dull he sounded.

“Then, why don’t you come back to mine and read it there,” she wrapped her arms around his neck, “Afterall, I do have a copy,” she stood on her toes and kissed him.

“But if I’m reading… what will you be doing?”

She winked at him and pressed her lips to his. He chuckled and nodded, letting her apparate them away.

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

#pro snape #snapeloveposts #severus snape #severus x reader #severus x you #severus #snape #snape x reader #snape x you #snape x fem!reader #fanfic #snape fanfic #snape fanfiction #one shot #snape one shot #fan fiction #fanfiction #snape appreciation month #snape appreciation month 2020 #snapedom

[mcatra]

Catra works at Burger King pt 3

catradora in ther modern party clothes!

AO3

pt1/2

Catra was currently studying in the library, trying to work her way through a math problem. 

Her place didn't have internet, so she usually alternated between the school wifi, the public library, and Burger King. Lonnie usually let her study in the break room when the libraries closed up. 

Her phone pings with a message, obviously from Adora. 

Catra picks up her phone and unlocks it, eyebrow raising when she sees the message. 

Adora: 

Wyd? 

Catra sighs. Of course that airheaded jock texted like a frat boy. As much as she wanted to leave her on read, a deal was a deal. 

Catra: 

Studying. 

Adora: 

So diligent! You're so cool, Catra :) 

Adora: 

I'm weightlifting right now! Gotta work off all those BK calories 💪

Great, maybe she will leave her alone to go do her workout. 

Adora: 

[image.attachment]

Catra almost drops her phone when she sees the photo Adora sent. It was a shot of her by the mirror, and she was flexing with a dumbbell. She was wearing a black crop top, which framed her abs perfectly.  What was she doing, getting flustered over what, a gym rat photo that looked like it belonged on a Tinder profile? After much gay panic and debate, Catra takes a photo of herself with her middle finger up to the camera. She taps ‘send’ angrily. 

Catra: 

[image.attachment] 🖕 She doesn't get a response for a few minutes, which was odd. Usually Adora typed back at the speed of lightning. 

Ping. 

Adora: 

wow Ur rlly hot  Catra looks at the text, slack jawed. What the hell? 

Adora: 

Oh my god I am so sorry. That was Glimmer, she took my phone. 

Catra could almost scream, but she was in a public library. She settles for furiously chewing her out, sharp nails flying over the keyboard. 

Catra: 

Plz make Ur excuses more believable. It's so unoriginal I can't even post this on r/OopsDidntMeanTo. 

Adora: 

I really didn't mean to 🥺

Adora: 

I mean 

Adora: 

Glimmer didn't mean to  God, Adora was so stupid. Yet here Catra was, blushing like a fool. When she doesn’t answer for a while, her phone starts pinging again with notifications. 

>Adora liked your photo

>Adora liked your status >Adora reacted to your comment >Adora liked your photo

It goes on for another 23 times and Catra scrolls through it, dumbfounded. Unblocking her was a mistake. 

---- 

As promised, Adora would visit her garage when her shifts were over bringing groceries. In exchange Catra would cook, as it seemed like Adora would burn water if she tried. 

It started off as a weekly thing, but in a true Adora-like fashion it ended up like this everyday. They would talk for hours, catching up on their lost years together. 

Adora talked about all sorts of things, like how hard it was adjusting to the soft beds at first and how she requested a hard one. She told her about the contents of the letters she would send to Catra that never went received. Catra just listened, gratified to hear that Adora missed her in their time apart even half as much as she did. 

They would sing the little songs they invented back when they were kids and make up whole new ones as they waited for the food. Adora even started learning how to cook after watching Catra, and she would barge in uninvited with new recipes. The food tasted better with company, and Adora took great pleasure in piling her seconds. 

Catra would show her the local dumpster and they would go scavenging for items they needed. She taught her how to repair the things they found using Youtube tutorials, and how to disinfect them. It was fun watching Adora try to haggle for prices at the market, or her face when she realized she had to use the outhouse to go to the bathroom at Catra’s. 

Days bleed into months, their easygoing friendship making Catra feel at peace for the first time in forever. 

Right now they were currently in their trial exam period, which functioned both as practice for their final exams and half of their final marks. They were sitting in the library, chatting about their future majors. 

Catra taps a pencil to her chin. ‘Let me guess, you want to do art. No, art history.’

‘Political science, actually! Did you know Eternia University has  the  number one ranked Political Science course in the entire country?' Adora says, flipping through the uni coursebook. 

'Wao, future leader of the free world huh? That's kinda hot.' Catra teases, while Adora swats her in embarrassment. 

'What about you?' 

'Double degree of Law and Social Work.' Catra replies. 'Cliche I know. But I just want to be in a position where I can sue the shit out of Shadow Weaver. The system is corrupt, and there's thousands of kids being abused.' 

'Wow, you're so cool Catra.' Adora says in awe. 'You're so smart, you'd definitely get in.' 

'Damn right.' She scoffs, crossing her arms. 

'You're gonna love Eternia. I went to their open day, the campus is gorgeous. Oh my gosh we could dorm together!' 

'Gross, who'd want to be  your  roommate?' 

'You  would.' 

'Ew, you're so full of yourself. Anyway get off me, I have work soon and I need to get changed.' 

'Ah yes, the cute Burger King apron. I never get tired of it.' 

They would always flirt back and forth like this, but nothing ever came out of it. 

With her friendship came the feelings that she had repressed long ago, unknotting and resurfacing like they had never gone at all. However she had no idea if Adora even liked her in that way, given how affectionate she was with Bow and Glimmer. She was popular with boys and girls alike, but she never dated anyone. Catra never dared to ask. 

Once Adora had fallen asleep in Catra's bed, and the brunette had woken up to the other girls arm around her and their feet tangled together. It reminded her of when they shared the bed as kids, but now they were grown up and this kind of thing didn't have an innocent meaning anymore. Having her there made her heart race and her palms sweaty.

She had wanted to kiss her then. She wanted to kiss her now. Catra wanted every single morning to end up like that. 

-- 

Adora:

Your birthday is soon! Did you want anything?

You  , Catra thinks, like a huge sap. 

Catra:

My sanity back. 

Adora: 

Oh my gosh, we could throw you a party at my place! You’re turning 18 right? We could go out drinking! Angella has this amazing vintage wine collection and I could make cocktails!  

Catra receives another wall of text, basically planning the entirety of this birthday party with Bow being the DJ and how Glimmer could make these buns that were to die for. Adora starts going through the entire party guest list until she has to cut in. 

Catra: 

lol calm down 

Adora: 

Does this mean Ur on board? 🎉

Catra: 

yes fine since you won't shut up about it 

Adora: 

AAAAAAAH YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ U WILL NOT REGRET THIS 

DW I WILL PLAN EVERYTHING <3333 

💗💖💖😻

The excessive amount of heart emojis make Catra grin dumbly into her palm. 

She's glad they're not video chatting, or Adora would've already taken a screenshot. 

---

It’s the day of her 18th birthday, and she’s nearing the end of her shift. The best friend squad were waiting for her at their usual table so they could give her a ride. 

‘Hey Catra. Can I speak to you out back?’ Lonnie asks, gesturing outside. 

What the heck, did she do something wrong?  It’s been pretty peaceful as of late, and Catra tries to remember if she had done anything to Kyle recently. She nods, chucking her apron at the back as she tries not to notice Adora’s eyes following her. 

 Catra goes out to the back of the store, the night air nipping at her shoulders. Lonnie waits for her there, biting her lip.

‘What’s up? Don’t tell me you’re giving me a raise.’ Catra jokes. 

Lonnie looks conflicted, and she takes a big breath. 

‘I’m sorry but our store isn’t doing so well. I know you’re turning 18, and that means we can’t afford to keep you on anymore.’

‘What…?’ 

Catra felt numb, like she wasn’t really there in the back alley with Lonnie. It felt like an out of body experience. She could only stare at her, betrayed. 

Like Lonnie could read her mind, she tries to correct herself. ‘It wasn’t my decision, it was Octavia’s.’

Of course it was. Her regional manager was the reason she could never just swipe food while she was working. Octavia never liked her, she always reviewed the security cameras and told her off for goofing around. She must’ve known the door incident was on Catra’s shift, and what really happened despite Adora’s cover up. This ‘layoff’ was just an excuse to get rid of her from a financial standpoint. 

‘Thank you for all your hard work over these past 3 years. I know you’re going through a rough time, so we will of course give you a recommendation.’

Catra just nods. 

She returns to her shift, robotically going through the motions. Catra doesn’t even say anything sassy when Adora asks for a burger with no patty and no onions and no sauce, only cheese on bread.

The lack of a clever comeback to their gag routine has Adora concerned. ‘Are you okay?’ 

Of course she wasn’t. How could she be? She was going to have to vacate her garage space, not like she had anywhere to put her furniture in. What the hell was she going to do? 

‘I’m fine.’ She says, even though tears were threatening to burn a hole in the back of her eyelids. ‘Just...rough day.’ 

‘It’s your birthday! The party will cheer you up.’ Bow says brightly. ‘I have the sickest playlist of all time, you're gonna love it.' 

'My mum isn’t home so we have free reign over the entire house! Come on girl, let's get you changed!' Glimmer crows, too excited about the party to pick up on Catra's mood. 'Makeover time!!' 

The two of them force her into Glimmer's Mercedes, on their way to buy every alcohol imaginable from the bottle shop before they go to her house. 

The last thing Catra wanted to do was play dress up or even go to her party, but Adora had planned for so long for this. It would definitely ruin the entire night if she refused to go. 

Out of all the times they had hung out, she’s never been to Adora’s house. She leans her head against the window when they drive into the fancy part of town, by the lakeside with the multi-million dollar yachts parked in the water. 

That still doesn't prepare Catra for when security lets them in through the black gates to the biggest mansion she’s ever seen. There were fountains, perfectly manicured lawns, a tennis court, and was that  a helicopter pad?! 

It was incredible, she had only seen this kind of luxury in the movies. So Glimmer was rich , rich. No wonder she was put out that Adora had her 18th birthday at Burger King. 

Catra looks at Adora with a dumbfounded expression as the attendants let them in, and the blonde looks almost embarrassed when they have to get into an elevator to go to her room. 

Glimmer picks out a hybrid of clothes from her and Adora's closets. The walk-in wardrobe is huge, like a department store full of designer clothes, shoes, jewellery and bags. 

Her wardrobe alone is the size of Catra's home. The brunette suddenly understands why Adora cried upon seeing her concrete garage space. Looking at it, she wanted to cry too. 

Glimmer sets her down on her huge poster bed as she brings out a checkered crop top, ripped black garter shorts and an expensive looking black leather jacket with a gold trim. While Catra reluctantly gets changed, Glimmer picks out a pair of black strappy heeled boots and a hair straightener to battle the bush on Catra’s head. 

She sits still while Glimmer goes to work on her face, bringing out an entire Sephora’s worth of makeup. When Catra looks in the vanity mirror, she almost doesn’t recognize herself. Her eyes were framed with false eyelashes, a swooping cateye, smokey eyeshadow, sharp contour and her lips were now cherry red with bold lipstick. Glimmer applies the finishing touches with silver rings and clip on piercings. 

She hears Adora inhale with shock from the staircase in her bedroom. 

‘Catra you look incredible !’ She gasps. Adora was wearing this cute backless white dress tied with strings, short enough that it cropped above her knees. She was wearing sparkly wedges to go with it, and her hair was curled instead of her usual ponytail. Her delicate gold sword necklace frames her collarbones. 

Catra’s throat goes dry. ‘Uh- You too.’ 

 Glimmer smirks, satisfied with her work. She gets changed into her own outfit, a short purple tulle lace dress with a white fur trim and a cute Gucci clutch to accompany it. The pink haired girl spritzes them all with her various floral and sea spray scented perfumes before they head back downstairs.

‘Wow you guys look amazing!’ Scorpia marvels, and Adora’s friends voice their approval as well. 

‘Gosh this place is crazy.’ Scorpia whispers to Catra. ‘Did you see their pool? We should’ve just held the swimming carnival here!’ 

Catra opens her mouth to tell her how Lonnie had let her go, but Sea Hawk’s booming voice interrupts them. 

'I challenge you to the ultimate game of BEER PONG!' Sea Hawk announces, spinning the ball on his fingertips. 

Of course this gets everyone's competitive spirit going, and everyone gets into pairs. 

After a few drinks Catra has almost forgotten what she was worrying about earlier, too focused on the buzz. Her and Adora demolish the other teams by a landslide with their impeccable aim. 

Soon the attendants came out with dinner, and it was lavish with every food you could imagine. Lobster, kobe beef, hor d'oeuvres, beluga caviar, kale, and opulent ice cream were all among the plates of food on the table. They bring out a massive 3 tiered truffle cake, the words 'Happy Birthday' written with an oddly crude drawing of Catra. 

'You drew this?' She asks, and Adora nods happily. 'You worked so hard on mine, so.' Catra doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the cake was $7 and the drawing of her forehead was meant as an insult.  They sing the birthday song for her, and this time no one brings up the cake cutting tradition. 

 After dinner they sit outside in the garden around the bonfire Sea Hawk had made. He was drunkenly singing a loud shanty while Bow piled in the wood, fanning the flames. Frosta sips on a mocktail, the only one there who wasn’t old enough to drink yet. The fire flickers and dances, casting shadows around them. 

Catra downs a few more cocktails and jello shots as she waits for Mermista to light up some fireworks. Apparently it was illegal, but Mermista just waved her off, telling her that she’ll just pay the penalty fee as Catra’s birthday gift. Sea Hawk really did rub off on her. 

When she successfully sets them off they light up the sky in dazzling multicoloured sparks. Adora’s friends whoop with glee, taking photos and videos to commemorate the moment. 

Adora's side profile is lit up in the dark, and she looks impossibly beautiful among the backdrop of stars. Longing tears at her chest, Catra wants to hold her hand but her throat feels too tight and she can’t move. The truth was that she knew she had always had feelings for Adora, even back when they were just kids back in the foster home. But like a coward, she could never voice them for fear of Adora leaving her side. 

A loud neighing can be heard from the stables in response to the loud booming noises from the fireworks. 

'Swifty!' Adora says, standing up. The moment's breaks and Catra reels back her hand. 'Stay here, I'll be right back.' 

Her chance disappears, she couldn’t say it after all. She watches her go tend to her horse, feeling stupid. 

‘Yoohoo~, want a rematch?’ Sea Hawk calls out from the patio, pouring vodka into tiny glasses. 

‘Don’t mind if I do.’ Catra replies. She definitely didn’t know her alcohol tolerance levels yet, so it was the perfect time to take that to the test. 

Catra confidently does a whole line of shots, determined to drink herself into unconsciousness. Every time she sees a flash of Lonnie or Adora’s face in her mind, she takes another swig. Everyone is cheering her on, screaming the song ‘Shots’ over and over again, also all drunk out of their minds. Sea Hawk taps out at the 5th drink, and everyone screams at Catra’s flawless victory. Scorpia lifts her into the air to do a victory lap, cheering. 

Adora finally makes an appearance, alerted by the sound of Catra's shrieky laughter as Scorpia swings her around. 

‘Don’t worry, I can take it from here.’ Her school captain says pulling Catra away from her friend. Scorpia just shrugs and makes her way to the food table. ‘Catra, maybe you should slow down.’ Adora tells the giggling girl in her arms. 

‘Noo way.’ She slurs, she was enjoying the feeling too much, the alcohol burning through her body, making her feel lightheaded. The light up disco dancefloor starts to blur into a kaleidoscope of colours. 

‘You got some weed?’ Catra asks, seeing Perfuma light a bowl. The taller girl hands her an already rolled up one and Catra snatches it to take a long drag. The smoke hits her lungs and she starts coughing. 

‘Oi Perfuma, why did you bring drugs? Angella will kill me!' Adora gripes, trying to wrestle the blunt away from Catra. 

‘Aw don't be like that! I made some edibles for you guys to try.’ Perfuma says cheerfully, pointing to the pot brownies. 

‘See? Scorpia likes them.’ She gestures at the other girl, who seemed to be currently tripping out of her mind and eating everything on the table. 

Catra goes to reach for one, but Adora grabs her by the wrist to lead her back inside. 'Alright, you're done for the night. Everyone say bye!' 

‘Byee Catra!’

‘Happy birthday!!’

Adora grabs her by the waist to lead her to her bedroom, Catra wobbling after her in the heels Glimmer lent her. 

'Ugh Adoraaa, don't be such a party pooper. I'm fine.' She moans, leaning heavily on the other girl. 'Don't you have a shift tomorrow afternoon? I don't want you getting hungover or drug tested.' Adora chides, rummaging around the dark for the light switch. 

Catra snorts. 'Oh you don't have to worry about  that  anymore. Got laid off.' 

Adora looks at her in confusion, until realization dawns on her. 'Wait, is that why Lonnie took you outside?' 

'Say, I never got to give you  your  birthday gift.' Catra pushes her hair back, voice sultry as she flings off her jacket. She never pinned herself down as a horny drunk, but here they were. Catra shoves Adora onto the bed, straddling her. Her golden hair spills over the mattress, soft like spun silk. 

'You still want that kiss?' Catra whispers in Adora's now burning red ear. 'My knife touched the bottom.' 

Adora's face now resembled a fire truck, mouth gaping in shock.

'C-Catra, I…' 

Catra presses their lips together, silencing her. She knows she probably tastes like alcohol and weed right now, but she couldn't care less in the moment. Adora's mouth is still slack jawed from mortification, so she takes the opportunity for tongue. She frowns and moves down to her neck when Adora doesn’t return the kiss. 

'Catra, what are you doing-' 

Catra bites down on Adora's nape. The blonde underneath her lets out a soft gasp, arching her back. Her gold manicured nails dig into her shoulder. 

'Stop, you're not thinking straight-!' 

'Sure ain't.' Catra grins, licking a stripe down the base of her neck. Adora’s necklace chain jingles with the movement. There was now an impressive hickey there, blooming violet on her pale skin. She pauses to admire her handiwork. 

'This isn't you talking, you'll, you'll regret this in the morning.' Adora stutters. She's shivering, their hands now laced together, silver rings clanking. 

'I know. I don't care.' She replies, kissing her again. Adora's teeth nick her lip. The alcohol in her system makes her feel lightheaded, confident. No way would she have managed this sober. Adora tastes better than she does, sweet like blueberry soju. Catra's hands wander down further, pulling the strings to untie the back of her dress-

'Catra stop!'  Adora suddenly shouts, striking Catra across the cheek in a deafening  slap . 

Adora's eyes were blazing, almost teary in the dark. Her breathing was irregular, panting in and out. Catra stills, clutching her cheek. The look in her eyes sobered her immediately. 

Adora looks down at her palm, realizing what she just did. 'Sorry for hitting you!' She flounders. 'It's just that, you're only doing this because you’re drunk and upset, right?’

Catra just stares at her before climbing off. Cold realization settles as the fog in her brain clears. 'You're right. Forget it.' 

She sits on the edge of the bed, numbly watching Adora hurriedly trying to re-tie the back of her now wrinkled dress. Her lips are stained with Catra’s red lipstick. Adora catches her looking, and she quickly turns away to smooth down her hair with her fingers. 'You've had more than enough to drink tonight. I’ll get you some water to clear your head.’

She gets up to turn on the light switch, and Catra blinks in the harsh light from the chandeliers.  ‘Come on, let’s get you sobered up, okay?’ Adora leads her to the kitchen on the same floor, gingerly placing her friend on the slippery bar stool. 

The blonde goes to get the chilled jug of infused water from the fridge and pours it into a glass. Adora slides it across the island, and Catra reluctantly takes it. She sips at it, mint and lemon on her tongue. It tasted way better than her hose water. 

‘I’ll uh, pick out some groceries for you since we’re here and all.’ Adora says awkwardly into the silence, turning around to rummage through her pantry. 

Suddenly Catra is brought back to the whole reason why she was sitting here in this oversized mansion in the first place. Their friendship agreement. The one she had just violated. Catra had never felt more stupid to mistake Adora’s kindness and guilt for actual feelings. She felt like a charity case, waiting to collect food from the soup kitchen.

Of course Adora didn't like her back. She just saw her as someone needing to be saved. The product of survival guilt. Catra wanted to whack her head on the corner of her marbled countertop and not wake up. 

Adora takes out a green plastic bag, and starts filling it with everything and anything she can get. Cans, pasta, biscuits, fruits and vegetables. Actually this feeling was more like being one of those poor kids that white girls would pose next to for their Instagram after their trip to Africa.  Did Adora have fun, volunteering to slum it up in her place while she returned here? All she ever wanted her entire life was to be Adora’s equal. 

Scorpia and Sea Hawk's loud laughter and DJ music can be heard downstairs in the garden, beyond the tall golden trimmed windows. The class difference between them stretched like an unfathomable canyon. Living the classy bougie dream until the clock struck midnight and she was back in her run down garage. Except soon she won’t even have that anymore. Why did Adora have to bring her here? It was almost cruel. 

Catra's suddenly overcome with the urge to vomit. She nearly falls off the high chair in her rush to throw up the unholy cocktail of alcohol into the sink. Tears bead in her eyes from the sour taste as she continues to vomit out everything she ate that night. She can feel Adora by her side, patting her back reassuringly.

It was by far the worst birthday she has ever had. 

 --

The morning of, Catra woke up in Adora’s bed with a splitting headache. 

Unfortunately she was  not given the gift of amnesia, as she vividly remembered every last excruciating detail about last night. 

She spots Adora’s mop of blonde hair under a blanket on the floor, even though there were a billion other free spare rooms to sleep in. Adora was probably too afraid to share the same bed as her now.

Catra’s borrowed crop top digs uncomfortably into her skin, and she angrily flings it off her body. The shorts stick to her like a second skin, smelling of tequila. She grabs her old Burger King uniform and puts it on, though even this didn’t belong to her now. 

Adora shifts in her sleep, and Catra lightly steps over her to get to the door. The last thing she wanted was for Adora to wake up. 

As soon as she’s out, she runs out to the elevator and bangs frantically on the buttons until it sends her to the bottom floor. The lift opens with a  ding  and in her haste she almost crashes headfirst into Glimmer. 

‘Oh hey! Are you going to work?’ Glimmer greets. She was in her silk pajamas and slippers, holding a glass of orange juice. 

‘Uh. Yeah.’ Catra lies, trying her best to look natural. 

‘Some party last night huh? Lucky today is a Saturday.’ Glimmer says conversationally, unaware of Catra’s urge to throw her across the room. ‘Hey, what happened to your cheek?’

Catra clutches her face, it still strung from where Adora struck her. ‘Nothing.’

Glimmer raises an eyebrow. ‘Well anyway, did you wanna stick around for  breakfast? The cooks made pancakes, bacon, eggs, the whole deal.' She peeks behind Catra. 'Is Adora  still  not up yet?’ 

As much as Catra wanted to scream  get out of my way she schools her expression to her best customer service smile. ‘Nope she’s still sleeping it off. Anyway I’m gonna be late so I can’t stick around.’

‘Did you need a lift?’ Glimmer asks. It dawns on the brunette she couldn’t exactly run the entire way back home. ‘I’ll ask one of the drivers to take you back so you make it to your shift.’

Catra thanks her lucky stars that Glimmer was still too hungover to drive her. She wouldn’t have been able to dodge her questions if she had. 

‘Yes please.’ Catra says, giddy with relief. ‘Thank you.’ 

‘Ooh and before I forget, Adora told me last night to give you this.’ Glimmer says, grabbing the green bag of groceries off the counter. The shorter girl bundles it into Catra’s arms before she can object. 

‘Get home safe.’ She says, waving as the attendant leads her out the door. 

Catra looks down at the cans of food in her arms and doesn’t say anything.  

 ------

The days leading up to graduation were painful, to say the least. 

They more or less pretend the kiss didn't happen. Adora never brings it up, and neither does Catra. 

She would stare at the ceiling, wishing she had never gotten piss drunk at her birthday and kissed her. Adora was right, she did regret it. It was awful, the look on Adora's face when she slapped Catra replays in her mind and nightmares over and over again. It was mortifying. 

Adora still messages her every 3 days, and Catra still replies, though her words are empty and devoid of banter.  I'm worried about you,  she says.  I'm fine , Catra always responds. 

The brunette continues to humour her to keep the peace, only shutting down when her old job was mentioned. Catra doesn’t allow Adora back into her home again. 

Sometimes they study together, but she can't concentrate when Adora wears her glasses. Her heart hurts, so she cradles her cheek and tries not to remember. 

The hickey she had branded Adora's neck with had been covered with foundation until it faded away. None of her friends had teased her about it, so she clearly had not told a single soul what had happened. 

Catra bites at the scab on her lip from where Adora’s teeth nicked her until it bleeds. She wants to apologize, but the words stick on her tongue and she can't bring herself to talk about that night. 

Catra knew Adora was only here by her side to alleviate her guilt. Shame buries itself under her skin every time she's near her, like she was too embarrassed to even exist in the same space as Adora. She wants to disappear. 

Exams are hard, and without an internet connection after the library closes at 6pm made it difficult to study. In her heart she knew she wasn't going to come out on top. Her ranking had slipped, she wasn't even at second place anymore. Rent was due at the end of the month, and without her Burger King wage she knew she'll be kicked out sooner than later. 

Catra felt stressed and self destructive, and the only thing that kept her from falling off the edge completely was Scorpia. As much as she hated depending on others, she'd much rather her old coworker than Adora. 

Her classmates seemed to like this new, muted down version of Catra who didn't argue and just stayed quiet most of the time. Fighting back was too difficult when all she wanted to do was blend into the wallpaper. All they talked about was where they were going for vacation after graduation, and Catra certainly had nothing to contribute to that conversation.

She felt like crying, all the time. It was agony, wanting to burst out into tears randomly while she sat wasting away in the student council room. Despite herself, she missed Burger King, and she just kept getting ghosted or rejected in her other job applications. Sometimes when she really wanted to indulge herself, she'd go cry silently in the school toilet stall. 

Glimmer notices the change, and she catches her glaring. 'You don't seem as alive lately. Your eye bags are huge.' 

'S'fine.' Catra replies, hiding her hands so she doesn't see how they shake. Honestly Catra couldn't remember the last time she slept.

'Pfft, don't lie to me. Adora's worried about you. You're getting skinnier, and your eyes are always raw. All you do is stare into space.' 

Catra bites down on her nails. Of course she knew that. But she's gone through this before, and she'll do it again. 

'What happened between you two?’ 

‘None of your business.’ Catra replies, shuffling her way to the hall. 

--

 Their graduation ceremony starts off uneventfully. Every student’s parents except Catra’s sit proudly in the audience, eager to watch their kid graduate. One by one they receive their certificate and return to their seats. 

Adora and Catra stand side by side onstage, as Adora makes their final speech as School Captain. Through the blinding lights, she sees Angella waving proudly at her adoptive daughter in the crowd. 

Catra looks at Adora in the corner of her eye. She must look pathetic, lovesick and pining after someone she couldn’t have. 

‘It’s been such an honour serving the entire faculty and students of this school. I couldn’t have done it without my amazing Vice-Captain and all of my prefects. Now I’m proud to hand over my badge to the next School Captain, Frosta.’ 

They go through the rest of the ceremony like that, each member of the student council handing their badges to their successors. 

Soon their Principal comes up to the podium, tapping it once and clearing her throat. 

‘Announcing our honor student, and the winner of the scholarship to Eternia University…’ Castaspella says, turning over the sign card. 

‘None other than our school captain, Adora!’

Everyone starts clapping, and Adora walks across the stage to shake Castaspella's hand. 

Sounded about right. Catra never won against Adora in her entire life. She had already expected this outcome. Like a game of cat and mouse, going over and over for all eternity. 

Adora would excel with her elite education and secure a well paying job. Catra would struggle at the bottom indefinitely, never amounting to anything. She never would, if Adora was still there next to her. When the blonde re-entered her life, everything she had been working towards for years just collapsed. Her job, her home, her School Captain status, her chance at the scholarship, her sanity. 

She had to be wiped clean. A fresh start. 

The flower petals were falling, the streets decorated with a vibrant pink. The other students mill out of the crowd with their parents, chatting excitedly about what was next in their futures. She waits for Adora underneath a tree.  

'Congratulations.' Catra says, when she finally spots the other girl in the crowd. Adora pulls away from Angella’s embrace to meet her. 

'You deserve this so much more than I do.' Adora says, her voice pained like she didn't just win a full ride to her dream university. 'You should take it.'

'It's in your name, silly.' Catra replies, lightly tapping her with her rolled up certificate.

'Besides, I knew you'd get into Eternia, so I never applied.'

Adora blinks dumbly. '...What? Aren’t we going to the same university?’ 

She always was a bit slow on the uptake. ‘Only  you  decided that, stuupid. Say, it's about time we ended this right?' 

‘Catra, what are you...' 

'Our deal. You don't need to feel guilty anymore or bring me anything.' Catra says, her voice sounding like it didn't belong to her. She rummages in her bag, bringing out Adora's spare varsity jacket that she hadn’t returned. 'Here, take this. Thank you for all the help.' 

'What do you mean? You want to stop being friends?' Adora says in disbelief, taking the jacket.  

Catra nods. ‘I can’t continue with the arrangement. I hope you understand.’ 

‘I don’t! Was I the only one who thought we were friends, real ones?’ Adora asks.

‘...That’s right. I never saw you as a friend. You were just a meal ticket to me. Are you happy now?’ Catra snaps back. Shit, that wasn’t what she meant to say. She had planned to end this quickly and painlessly, on a high note.  Trust Adora to put up a fight. 

Something seems to click in Adora’s brain. ‘Is this about the night of the party?’

‘Figure that out yourself.’ Catra replies, turning to walk away. 

Adora grabs onto her arm. ‘Wait! If- if that’s what you want, I’ll give it! Just don't go!' 

This dumb blonde really was offering up her body, out of what? A sense of duty? How stupid. 

‘Is that right?’ Catra says, walking closer to her. Adora backs up until she is pinned to the tree. They’re face to face now. 

‘Can you really do this?’ Catra lifts Adora’s chin by a finger. 

Finally it seems to dawn on Adora exactly what Catra wanted. She swallows, biting her lip. 

There’s a flicker of hesitation, before Adora’s eyes squeeze shut defiantly. The blonde is shaking like a leaf, her breath coming out in panicked stutters from her pursed lips. 

Catra just stares at Adora’s scrunched up face impassively. Her scared reaction was the only confirmation she needed for closure. 

She flicks the other girl’s forehead, and her big blue eyes open in confusion. ‘Chill out, I’m not that evil to do it to someone so unwilling.’

 Adora blinks, clutching her forehead. ‘Catra?’

Suddenly Angella’s voice cuts through their conversation from the car park. ‘Adora dear, are you done chatting with your friend? We have reservations!'

‘Um, I…’ Her old school captain opens her mouth to say something, but Angella's started to lose her patience. 'Adora, how long are you going to stand there? Glimmer is already waiting for us at the restaurant!' 

Catra just smiles tiredly. ‘Take care, dummy.’ 

She watches Adora being dragged off unwillingly by her adoptive mother to the car. 

Catra lets out a sigh. Her phone pings with a message from Scorpia, and she knows it's time to go. 

---

 By the time Angella releases her from their graduation celebration, Adora can feel that it's already too late.

 Adora: 

Please, can we talk? Let me fix this

A pop up appears over the screen. 

Message Not Sent

This person isn't receiving messages at this time. 

Adora sends another message, but they all go undelivered. Catra had blocked her again. Panic spikes through her veins, and she quickly dons on a jacket and grabs her car keys. 

She sneaks out that night, down the familiar winding path through the bush that led to Catra's place. 

'Catra?' She rolls up the garage door, blinking in the darkness. When her eyes adjusted, she found Catra's old home completely emptied. 

All the furniture and items her friend had collected over the years, they were all gone. The little stove where they cooked, the old mattress where they talked late into the night, all vanished like they were never there. 

A single green plastic bag remained on the floor untouched, filled to the brim of food. 

     catra working at BK fanart: 

https://twitter.com/huetrooper/status/1265188930741080064

https://twitter.com/quackelroys/status/1271199987540668416?s=20

https://mcatra.tumblr.com/post/620493235561824256/your-catra-works-at-burger-king-fic-is-great-you

 pt1, pt 2

Catra was currently studying in the library, trying to work her way through a math problem. 

Her place didn't have internet, so she usually alternated between the school wifi, the public library, and Burger King. Lonnie usually let her study in the break room when the libraries closed up. 

Her phone pings with a message, obviously from Adora. 

Catra picks up her phone and unlocks it, eyebrow raising when she sees the message. 

Adora: 

Wyd? 

Catra sighs. Of course that airheaded jock texted like a frat boy. As much as she wanted to leave her on read, a deal was a deal. 

Catra: 

Studying. 

Adora: 

So diligent! You're so cool, Catra :) 

Adora: 

I'm weightlifting right now! Gotta work off all those BK calories 💪

Great, maybe she will leave her alone to go do her workout. 

Adora: 

[image.attachment]

Catra almost drops her phone when she sees the photo Adora sent. It was a shot of her by the mirror, and she was flexing with a dumbbell. She was wearing a black crop top, which framed her abs perfectly. 

What was she doing, getting flustered over what, a gym rat photo that looked like it belonged on a Tinder profile? 

After much gay panic and debate, Catra takes a photo of herself with her middle finger up to the camera. She taps ‘send’ angrily. 

Catra: 

[image.attachment] 🖕

She doesn't get a response for a few minutes, which was odd. Usually Adora typed back at the speed of lightning. 

Ping. 

Adora: 

wow Ur rlly hot 

Catra looks at the text, slack jawed. What the hell? 

Adora: 

Oh my god I am so sorry. That was Glimmer, she took my phone. 

Catra could almost scream, but she was in a public library. She settles for furiously chewing her out, sharp nails flying over the keyboard. 

Catra: 

Plz make Ur excuses more believable. It's so unoriginal I can't even post this on r/OopsDidntMeanTo. 

Adora: 

I really didn't mean to 🥺

Adora: 

I mean 

Adora: 

Glimmer didn't mean to 

God, Adora was so stupid. Yet here Catra was, blushing like a fool. When she doesn’t answer for a while, her phone starts pinging again with notifications. 

>Adora liked your photo

>Adora liked your status >Adora reacted to your comment >Adora liked your photo

It goes on for another 23 times and Catra scrolls through it, dumbfounded. Unblocking her was  a mistake. 

---- 

As promised, Adora would visit her garage when her shifts were over bringing groceries. In exchange Catra would cook, as it seemed like Adora would burn water if she tried. 

It started off as a weekly thing, but in a true Adora-like fashion it ended up like this everyday. They would talk for hours, catching up on their lost years together. 

Adora talked about all sorts of things, like how hard it was adjusting to the soft beds at first and how she requested a hard one. She told her about the contents of the letters she would send to Catra that never went received. Catra just listened, gratified to hear that Adora missed her in their time apart even half as much as she did. 

They would sing the little songs they invented back when they were kids and make up whole new ones as they waited for the food. Adora even started learning how to cook after watching Catra, and she would barge in uninvited with new recipes. The food tasted better with company, and Adora took great pleasure in piling her seconds. 

Catra would show her the local dumpster and they would go scavenging for items they needed. She taught her how to repair the things they found using Youtube tutorials, and how to disinfect them. It was fun watching Adora try to haggle for prices at the market, or her face when she realized she had to use the outhouse to go to the bathroom at Catra’s. 

Days bleed into months, their easygoing friendship making Catra feel at peace for the first time in forever. 

Right now they were currently in their trial exam period, which functioned both as practice for their final exams and half of their final marks. They were sitting in the library, chatting about their future majors. 

Catra taps a pencil to her chin. ‘Let me guess, you want to do art. No, art history.’

‘Political science, actually! Did you know Eternia University has the number one ranked Political Science course in the entire country?' Adora says, flipping through the uni coursebook. 

'Wao, future leader of the free world huh? That's kinda hot.' Catra teases, while Adora swats her in embarrassment. 

'What about you?' 

'Double degree of Law and Social Work.' Catra replies. 'Cliche I know. But I just want to be in a position where I can sue the shit out of Shadow Weaver. The system is corrupt, and there's thousands of kids being abused.' 

'Wow, you're so cool Catra.' Adora says in awe. 'You're so smart, you'd definitely get in.' 

'Damn right.' She scoffs, crossing her arms. 

'You're gonna love Eternia. I went to their open day, the campus is gorgeous. Oh my gosh we could dorm together!' 

'Gross, who'd want to be your roommate?' 

'You would.' 

'Ew, you're so full of yourself. Anyway get off me, I have work soon and I need to get changed.' 

'Ah yes, the cute Burger King apron. I never get tired of it.' 

They would always flirt back and forth like this, but nothing ever came out of it. 

With her friendship came the feelings that she had repressed long ago, unknotting and resurfacing like they had never gone at all. However she had no idea if Adora even liked her in that way, given how affectionate she was with Bow and Glimmer. She was popular with boys and girls alike, but she never dated anyone. Catra never dared to ask. 

Once Adora had fallen asleep in Catra's bed, and the brunette had woken up to the other girls arm around her and their feet tangled together. It reminded her of when they shared the bed as kids, but now they were grown up and this kind of thing didn't have an innocent meaning anymore. Having her there made her heart race and her palms sweaty.

She had wanted to kiss her then. She wanted to kiss her now. Catra wanted every single morning to end up like that. 

-- 

Adora:

Your birthday is soon! Did you want anything?

You, Catra thinks, like a huge sap. 

Catra:

My sanity back. 

Adora: 

Oh my gosh, we could throw you a party at my place! You’re turning 18 right? We could go out drinking! Angella has this amazing vintage wine collection and I could make cocktails!  

Catra receives another wall of text, basically planning the entirety of this birthday party with Bow being the DJ and how Glimmer could make these buns that were to die for. Adora starts going through the entire party guest list until she has to cut in. 

Catra: 

lol calm down 

Adora: 

Does this mean Ur on board? 🎉

Catra: 

yes fine since you won't shut up about it 

Adora: 

AAAAAAAH YOU'RE THE BEST!!!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️ U WILL NOT REGRET THIS 

DW I WILL PLAN EVERYTHING <3333 

💗💖💖😻

The excessive amount of heart emojis make Catra grin dumbly into her palm. 

She's glad they're not video chatting, or Adora would've already taken a screenshot. 

---

It’s the day of her 18th birthday, and she’s nearing the end of her shift. The best friend squad were waiting for her at their usual table so they could give her a ride. 

‘Hey Catra. Can I speak to you out back?’ Lonnie asks, gesturing outside. 

What the heck, did she do something wrong? It’s been pretty peaceful as of late, and Catra tries to remember if she had done anything to Kyle recently. She nods, chucking her apron at the back as she tries not to notice Adora’s eyes following her. 

Catra goes out to the back of the store, the night air nipping at her shoulders. Lonnie waits for her there, biting her lip.

‘What’s up? Don’t tell me you’re giving me a raise.’ Catra jokes. 

Lonnie looks conflicted, and she takes a big breath. 

‘I’m sorry but our store isn’t doing so well. I know you’re turning 18, and that means we can’t afford to keep you on anymore.’

‘What…’ 

Catra felt numb, like she wasn’t really there in the back alley with Lonnie. It felt like an out of body experience. She could only stare at her, betrayed. 

Like Lonnie could read her mind, she tries to correct herself. ‘It wasn’t my decision, it was Octavia’s.’

Of course it was. Her regional manager was the reason she could never just swipe food while she was working. Octavia never liked her, she always reviewed the security cameras and told her off for goofing around. She must’ve known the door incident was on Catra’s shift, and what really happened despite Adora’s cover up. This ‘layoff’ was just an excuse to get rid of her from a financial standpoint. 

‘Thank you for all your hard work over these past 3 years. I know you’re going through a rough time, so we will of course give you a recommendation.’

Catra just nods. 

She returns to her shift, robotically going through the motions. Catra doesn’t even say anything sassy when Adora asks for a burger with no patty and no onions and no sauce, only cheese on bread.

The lack of a clever comeback to their gag routine has Adora concerned. ‘Are you okay?’ 

Of course she wasn’t. How could she be? She was going to have to vacate her garage space, not like she had anywhere to put her furniture in. What the hell was she going to do? 

‘I’m fine.’ She says, even though tears were threatening to burn a hole in the back of her eyelids. ‘Just...rough day.’ 

‘It’s your birthday! The party will cheer you up.’ Bow says brightly. ‘I have the sickest playlist of all time, you're gonna love it.' 

'My mum isn’t home so we have free reign over the entire house! Come on girl, let's get you changed!' Glimmer crows, too excited about the party to pick up on Catra's mood. 'Makeover time!!' 

The two of them force her into Glimmer's Mercedes, on their way to buy every alcohol imaginable from the bottle shop before they go to her house. 

The last thing Catra wanted to do was play dress up or even go to her party, but Adora had planned for so long for this. It would definitely ruin the entire night if she refused to go. 

Out of all the times they had hung out, she’s never been to Adora’s house. She leans her head against the window when they drive into the fancy part of town, by the lakeside with the multi-million dollar yachts parked in the water. 

That still doesn't prepare Catra for when security lets them in through the black gates to the biggest mansion she’s ever seen. There were fountains, perfectly manicured lawns, a tennis court, and was that a helicopter pad?! 

It was incredible, Catra could only walk in a daze with her jaw dropped on their polished marble floors. So Glimmer was rich, rich. No wonder she was put out that Adora had her 18th birthday at Burger King. 

Catra looks at Adora with a dumbfounded expression, and the blonde looks almost embarrassed when they have to get into an elevator to go to her room. 

Glimmer picks out a hybrid of clothes from her and Adora's closets. The walk-in wardrobe is huge, like a department store full of designer clothes, shoes, jewellery and bags. 

Her wardrobe alone is the size of Catra's home. The brunette suddenly understands why Adora cried upon seeing her concrete garage space. Looking at it, she wanted to cry too. 

Glimmer sets her down on her huge poster bed as she brings out a checkered crop top, ripped black garter shorts and an expensive looking black leather jacket with a gold trim. While Catra reluctantly gets changed, Glimmer picks out a pair of black strappy heeled boots and a hair straightener to battle the bush on Catra’s head. 

She sits still while Glimmer goes to work on her face, bringing out an entire Sephora’s worth of makeup. When Catra looks in the vanity mirror, she almost doesn’t recognize herself. Her eyes were framed with false eyelashes, a swooping cateye, smokey eyeshadow, sharp contour and her lips were now cherry red with bold lipstick. Glimmer applies the finishing touches with silver rings and clip on piercings. 

She hears Adora inhale with shock from the staircase in her bedroom. 

‘Catra you look incredible!’ She gasps. Adora was wearing this cute backless white dress tied with strings, short enough that it cropped above her knees. She was wearing sparkly wedges to go with it, and her hair was curled instead of her usual ponytail. Her delicate gold sword necklace frames her collarbones. 

Catra’s throat goes dry. ‘Uh- You too.’ 

Glimmer smirks, satisfied with her work. She gets changed into her own outfit, a short purple tulle lace dress with a white fur trim and a cute Gucci clutch to accompany it. The pink haired girl spritzes them all with her various floral and sea spray scented perfumes before they head back downstairs.

‘Wow you guys look amazing!’ Scorpia marvels, and Adora’s friends voice their approval as well.

‘Gosh this place is crazy.’ Scorpia whispers to Catra. ‘Did you see their pool? We should’ve just held the swimming carnival here!’ 

Catra opens her mouth to tell her how Lonnie had let her go, but Sea Hawk’s booming voice interrupts them. 

'I challenge you to the ultimate game of BEER PONG!' Sea Hawk announces, spinning the ball on his fingertips. 

Of course this gets everyone's competitive spirit going, and everyone gets into pairs. 

After a few drinks Catra has almost forgotten what she was worrying about earlier, too focused on the buzz. Her and Adora demolish the other teams by a landslide with their impeccable aim. 

Soon the attendants came out with dinner, and it was lavish with every food you could imagine. Lobster, kobe beef, hor d'oeuvres, beluga caviar, kale, and opulent ice cream were all among the plates of food on the table.

They bring out a massive 3 tiered truffle cake, the words 'Happy Birthday' written with an oddly crude drawing of Catra. 

'You drew this?' She asks, and Adora nods happily. 'You worked so hard on mine, so.' Catra doesn’t have the heart to tell her that the cake was $7 and the drawing of her forehead was meant as an insult. 

They sing the birthday song for her, and this time no one brings up the cake cutting tradition. 

After dinner they sit outside in the garden around the bonfire Sea Hawk had made. He was drunkenly singing a loud shanty while Bow piled in the wood, fanning the flames. Frosta sips on a mocktail, the only one there who wasn’t old enough to drink yet. The fire flickers and dances, casting shadows around them. 

Catra downs a few more cocktails and jello shots as she waits for Mermista to light up some fireworks. Apparently it was illegal, but Mermista just waved her off, telling her that she’ll just pay the penalty fee as Catra’s birthday gift. Sea Hawk really did rub off on her. 

When she successfully sets them off they light up the sky in dazzling multicoloured sparks. Adora’s friends whoop with glee, taking photos and videos to commemorate the moment. 

Adora's side profile is lit up in the dark, and she looks impossibly beautiful among the backdrop of stars. Longing tears at her chest, Catra wants to hold her hand but her throat feels too tight and she can’t move. The truth was that she knew she had always had feelings for Adora, even back when they were just kids back in the foster home. But like a coward, she could never voice them for fear of Adora leaving her side. 

A loud neighing can be heard from the stables in response to the loud booming noises from the fireworks. 

'Swifty!' Adora says, standing up. The moment's breaks and Catra reels back her hand. 'Stay here, I'll be right back.' 

Her chance disappears, she couldn’t say it after all. She watches her go tend to her horse, feeling stupid. 

‘Yoohoo~, want a rematch?’ Sea Hawk calls out from the patio, pouring vodka into tiny glasses. 

‘Don’t mind if I do.’ Catra replies. She definitely didn’t know her alcohol tolerance levels yet, so it was the perfect time to take that to the test. 

Catra confidently does a whole line of shots, determined to drink herself into unconsciousness. Every time she sees a flash of Lonnie or Adora’s face in her mind, she takes another swig. Everyone is cheering her on, screaming the song ‘Shots’ over and over again, also all drunk out of their minds. Sea Hawk taps out at the 5th drink, and everyone screams at Catra’s flawless victory. Scorpia lifts her into the air to do a victory lap, cheering. 

Adora finally makes an appearance, alerted by the sound of Catra's shrieky laughter as Scorpia swings her around. 

‘Don’t worry, I can take it from here.’ Her school captain says pulling Catra away from her friend. Scorpia just shrugs and makes her way to the food table.

‘Catra, maybe you should slow down.’ Adora tells the giggling girl in her arms. 

‘Noo way.’ She slurs, she was enjoying the feeling too much, the alcohol burning through her body, making her feel lightheaded. The light up disco dancefloor starts to blur into a kaleidoscope of colours. 

‘You got some weed?’ Catra asks, seeing Perfuma light a bowl. The taller girl hands her an already rolled up one and Catra snatches it to take a long drag. The smoke hits her lungs and she starts coughing. 

‘Oi Perfuma, why did you bring drugs? Angella will kill me!' Adora gripes, trying to wrestle the blunt away from Catra. 

‘Aw don't be like that! I made some edibles for you guys to try.’ Perfuma says cheerfully, pointing to the pot brownies. 

‘See? Scorpia likes them.’ She gestures at the other girl, who seemed to be currently tripping out of her mind and eating everything on the table. 

Catra goes to reach for one, but Adora grabs her by the wrist to lead her back inside. 'Alright, you're done for the night. Everyone say bye!' 

‘Byee Catra!’

‘Happy birthday!!’

Adora grabs her by the waist to lead her to her bedroom, Catra wobbling after her in the heels Glimmer lent her. 

'Ugh Adoraaa, don't be such a party pooper. I'm fine.' She moans, leaning heavily on the other girl. 'Don't you have a shift tomorrow afternoon? I don't want you getting hungover or drug tested.' Adora chides, rummaging around the dark for the light switch. 

Catra snorts. 'Oh you don't have to worry about that anymore. Got laid off.' 

Adora looks at her in confusion, until realization dawns on her. 'Wait, is that why Lonnie took you outside?' 

'Say, I never got to give you your birthday gift.' Catra pushes her hair back, voice sultry as she flings off her jacket. She never pinned herself down as a horny drunk, but here they were. Catra shoves Adora onto the bed, straddling her. Her golden hair spills over the mattress, soft like spun silk. 

'You still want that kiss?' Catra whispers in Adora's now burning red ear. 'My knife touched the bottom.' 

Adora's face now resembled a fire truck, mouth gaping in shock.

'C-Catra, I…' 

Catra presses their lips together, silencing her. She knows she probably tastes like alcohol and weed right now, but she couldn't care less in the moment. Adora's mouth is still slack jawed from mortification, so she takes the opportunity for tongue. She frowns and moves down to her neck when Adora doesn’t return the kiss. 

'Catra, what are you doing-' 

Catra bites down on Adora's nape. The blonde underneath her lets out a soft gasp, arching her back. Her gold manicured nails dig into her shoulder. 

'Stop, you're not thinking straight-!' 

'Sure ain't.' Catra grins, licking a stripe down the base of her neck. Adora’s necklace chain jingles with the movement. There was now an impressive hickey there, blooming violet on her pale skin. She pauses to admire her handiwork. 

'This isn't you talking, you'll, you'll regret this in the morning.' Adora stutters. She's shivering, their hands now laced together, silver rings clanking. 

 'I know. I don't care.' She replies, kissing her again. Adora's teeth nick her lip. The alcohol in her system makes her feel lightheaded, confident. No way would she have managed this sober. Adora tastes better than she does, sweet like blueberry soju. Catra's hands wander down further, pulling the strings to untie the back of her dress-

'Catra stop!' Adora suddenly shouts, striking Catra across the cheek in a deafening slap. 

Adora's eyes were blazing, almost teary in the dark. Her breathing was irregular, panting in and out. Catra stills, clutching her cheek. The look in her eyes sobered her immediately. 

Adora looks down at her palm, realizing what she just did. 'Sorry for hitting you!' She flounders. 'It's just that, you're only doing this because you’re drunk and upset, right?’

Catra just stares at her before climbing off. Cold realization settles as the fog in her brain clears. 'You're right. Forget it.' 

She sits on the edge of the bed, numbly watching Adora hurriedly trying to re-tie the back of her now wrinkled dress. Her lips are stained with Catra’s red lipstick. 

Adora catches her looking, and she quickly turns away to smooth down her hair with her fingers. 'You've had more than enough to drink tonight. I’ll get you some water to clear your head.’

She gets up to turn on the light switch, and Catra blinks in the harsh light from the chandeliers. 

‘Come on, let’s get you sobered up, okay?’ Adora leads her to the kitchen on the same floor, gingerly placing her friend on the slippery bar stool. 

The blonde goes to get the chilled jug of infused water from the fridge and pours it into a glass. Adora slides it across the island, and Catra reluctantly takes it. She sips at it, mint and lemon on her tongue. It tasted way better than her hose water. 

‘I’ll uh, pick out some groceries for you since we’re here and all.’ Adora says awkwardly into the silence, turning around to rummage through her pantry. 

Suddenly Catra is brought back to the whole reason why she was sitting here in this oversized mansion in the first place. Their friendship agreement. The one she had just violated. Catra had never felt more stupid to mistake Adora’s kindness and guilt for actual feelings. She felt like a charity case, waiting to collect food from the soup kitchen.

Of course Adora didn't like her back. She just saw her as someone needing to be saved. The product of survival guilt. Catra wanted to whack her head on the corner of her marbled countertop and not wake up. 

Adora takes out a green plastic bag, and starts filling it with everything and anything she can get. Cans, pasta, biscuits, fruits and vegetables. Actually this feeling was more like being one of those poor kids that white girls would pose next to for their Instagram after their trip to Africa. 

Did Adora have fun, volunteering to slum it up in her place while she returned here? All she ever wanted her entire life was to be Adora’s equal. 

Scorpia and Sea Hawk's loud laughter and DJ music can be heard downstairs in the garden, beyond the tall golden trimmed windows. The class difference between them stretched like an unfathomable canyon. Living the classy bougie dream until the clock struck midnight and she was back in her run down garage. Except soon she won’t even have that anymore. Why did Adora have to bring her here? It was almost cruel. 

Catra's suddenly overcome with the urge to vomit. She nearly falls off the high chair in her rush to throw up the unholy cocktail of alcohol into the sink. Tears bead in her eyes from the sour taste as she continues to vomit out everything she ate that night. She can feel Adora by her side, patting her back reassuringly.

It was by far the worst birthday she has ever had. 

--

The morning of, Catra woke up in Adora’s bed with a splitting headache. 

Unfortunately she was not given the gift of amnesia, as she vividly remembered every last excruciating detail about last night. 

She spots Adora’s mop of blonde hair under a blanket on the floor, even though there were a billion other free spare rooms to sleep in. Adora was probably too afraid to share the same bed as her now.

Catra’s borrowed crop top digs uncomfortably into her skin, and she angrily flings it off her body. The shorts stick to her like a second skin, smelling of tequila. She grabs her old Burger King uniform and puts it on, though even this didn’t belong to her now. 

Adora shifts in her sleep, and Catra lightly steps over her to get to the door. The last thing she wanted was for Adora to wake up. 

As soon as she’s out, she runs out to the elevator and bangs frantically on the buttons until it sends her to the bottom floor. The lift opens with a ding and in her haste she almost crashes headfirst into Glimmer. 

‘Oh hey! Are you going to work?’ Glimmer greets. She was in her silk pajamas and slippers, holding a glass of orange juice. 

‘Uh. Yeah.’ Catra lies, trying her best to look natural. 

‘Some party last night huh? Lucky today is a Saturday.’ Glimmer says conversationally, unaware of Catra’s urge to throw her across the room. ‘Hey, what happened to your cheek?’

Catra clutches her face, it still strung from where Adora struck her. ‘Nothing.’

Glimmer raises an eyebrow. ‘Well anyway, did you wanna stick around for  breakfast? The cooks made pancakes, bacon, eggs, the whole deal.' She peeks behind Catra. 'Is Adora still not up yet?’ 

As much as Catra wanted to scream get out of my way she schools her expression to her best customer service smile. ‘Nope she’s still sleeping it off. Anyway I’m gonna be late so I can’t stick around.’

‘Did you need a lift?’ Glimmer asks. It dawns on the brunette she couldn’t exactly run the entire way back home. ‘I’ll ask one of the drivers to take you back so you make it to your shift.’

Catra thanks her lucky stars that Glimmer was still too hungover to drive her. She wouldn’t have been able to dodge her questions if she had. 

‘Yes please.’ Catra says, giddy with relief. ‘Thank you.’ 

‘Ooh and before I forget, Adora told me last night to give you this.’ Glimmer says, grabbing the green bag of groceries off the counter. The shorter girl bundles it into Catra’s arms before she can object. 

‘Get home safe.’ She says, waving as the attendant leads her out the door. 

Catra looks down at the cans of food in her arms and doesn’t say anything.  

------

The days leading up to graduation were painful, to say the least. 

They more or less pretend the kiss didn't happen. Adora never brings it up, and neither does Catra. 

She would stare at the ceiling, wishing she had never gotten piss drunk at her birthday and kissed her. Adora was right, she did regret it. It was awful, the look on Adora's face when she slapped Catra replays in her mind and nightmares over and over again. It was mortifying. 

Adora still messages her every 3 days, and Catra still replies, though her words are empty and devoid of banter. I'm worried about you, she says. I'm fine, Catra always responds. 

The brunette continues to humour her to keep the peace, only shutting down when her old job was mentioned. Catra doesn’t allow Adora back into her home again. 

Sometimes they study together, but she can't concentrate when Adora wears her glasses. Her heart hurts, so she cradles her cheek and tries not to remember. 

The hickey she had branded Adora's neck with had been covered with foundation until it faded away. None of her friends had teased her about it, so she clearly had not told a single soul what had happened. 

Catra bites at the scab on her lip from where Adora’s teeth nicked her until it bleeds. She wants to apologize, but the words stick on her tongue and she can't bring herself to talk about that night. 

Catra knew Adora was only here by her side to alleviate her guilt. Shame buries itself under her skin every time she's near her, like she was too embarrassed to even exist in the same space as Adora. She wants to disappear. 

Exams are hard, and without an internet connection after the library closes at 6pm made it difficult to study. She tries to use the Mcdonald's wifi but soon just ordering a water cup wasn't enough for the workers to let her stay. It was a fruitless effort anyway, in her heart she knew she wasn't going to come out on top. Her ranking had slipped, she wasn't even at second place anymore. Rent was due at the end of the month, and without her Burger King wage she knew she'll be kicked out sooner than later. 

Catra felt stressed and self destructive, and the only thing that kept her from falling off the edge completely was Scorpia. As much as she hated depending on others, she'd much rather her old coworker than Adora. 

Her classmates seemed to like this new, muted down version of Catra who didn't argue and just stayed quiet most of the time. Fighting back was too difficult when all she wanted to do was blend into the wallpaper. All they talked about was where they were going for vacation after graduation, and Catra certainly had nothing to contribute to that conversation.

She felt like crying, all the time. It was agony, wanting to burst out into tears randomly while she sat wasting away in the student council room. Despite herself, she missed Burger King, and she just kept getting ghosted or rejected in her other job applications. Sometimes when she really wanted to indulge herself, she'd go cry silently in the school toilet stall. 

Glimmer notices the change, and she catches her glaring. 'You don't seem as alive lately. Your eye bags are huge.' 

'S'fine.' Catra replies, hiding her hands so she doesn't see how they shake. Honestly Catra couldn't remember the last time she slept.

'Pfft, don't lie to me. Adora's worried about you. You're getting skinnier, and your eyes are always raw. All you do is stare into space.' 

Catra bites down on her nails. Of course she knew that. But she's gone through this before, and she'll do it again. 

'What happened between you two?’ 

‘None of your business.’ Catra replies, shuffling her way to the hall. 

--

Their graduation ceremony starts off uneventfully. Every student’s parents except Catra’s sit proudly in the audience, eager to watch their kid graduate. One by one they receive their certificate and return to their seats. 

Adora and Catra stand side by side onstage, as Adora makes their final speech as School Captain. Through the blinding lights, she sees Angella waving proudly at her adoptive daughter in the crowd. 

Catra looks at Adora in the corner of her eye. She must look pathetic, lovesick and pining after someone she couldn’t have. 

‘It’s been such an honour serving the entire faculty and students of this school. I couldn’t have done it without my amazing Vice-Captain and all of my prefects.

Now I’m proud to hand over my badge to the next School Captain, Frosta.’ 

They go through the rest of the ceremony like that, each member of the student council handing their badges to their successors. 

Soon their Principal comes up to the podium, tapping it once and clearing her throat. 

‘Announcing our honor student, and the winner of the scholarship to Eternia University…’ Castaspella says, turning over the sign card. 

‘None other than our school captain, Adora!’

Everyone starts clapping, and Adora walks across the stage to shake Castaspella's hand. 

Sounded about right. Catra never won against Adora in her entire life. She had already expected this outcome. Like a game of cat and mouse, going over and over for all eternity. 

Adora would excel with her elite education and secure a well paying job. Catra would struggle at the bottom indefinitely, never amounting to anything. She never would, if Adora was still there next to her. When the blonde re-entered her life, everything she had been working towards for years just collapsed. Her job, her home, her School Captain status, her chance at the scholarship, her sanity. 

She had to be wiped clean. A fresh start. 

The flower petals were falling, the streets decorated with a vibrant pink. The other students mill out of the crowd with their parents, chatting excitedly about what was next in their futures. She waits for Adora underneath a tree.  

'Congratulations.' Catra says, when she finally spots the other girl in the crowd. Adora pulls away from Angella’s embrace to meet her. 

'You deserve this so much more than I do.' Adora says, her voice pained like she didn't just win a full ride to her dream university. 'You should take it.'

'It's in your name, silly.' Catra replies, lightly tapping her with her rolled up certificate.

'Besides, I knew you'd get into Eternia, so I never applied.'

Adora blinks dumbly. '...What? Aren’t we going to the same university?’ 

She always was a bit slow on the uptake. ‘Only you decided that, stuupid. Say, it's about time we ended this right?' 

‘Catra, what are you...' 

'Our deal. You don't need to feel guilty anymore or bring me anything.' Catra says, her voice sounding like it didn't belong to her. She rummages in her bag, bringing out Adora's spare varsity jacket that she hadn’t returned. 'Here, take this. Thank you for all the help.' 

'What do you mean? You want to stop being friends?' Adora says in disbelief, taking the jacket.  

Catra nods. ‘I can’t continue with the arrangement. I hope you understand.’ 

‘I don’t! Was I the only one who thought we were friends, real ones?’ Adora asks.

‘...That’s right. I never saw you as a friend. You were just a meal ticket to me. Are you happy now?’ Catra snaps back. Shit, that wasn’t what she meant to say. She had planned to end this quickly and painlessly, on a high note. Trust Adora to put up a fight. 

Something seems to click in Adora’s brain. ‘Is this about the night of the party?’

‘Figure that out yourself.’ Catra replies, turning to walk away. 

Adora grabs onto her arm. ‘Wait! If- if that’s what you want, I’ll give it! Just don't go!' 

This dumb blonde really was offering up her body, out of what? A sense of duty? How stupid. 

‘Is that right?’ Catra says, walking closer to her. Adora backs up until she is pinned to the tree. They’re face to face now. 

‘Can you really do this?’ Catra lifts Adora’s chin by a finger. 

Finally it seems to dawn on Adora exactly what Catra wanted. She swallows, biting her lip. 

There’s a flicker of hesitation, before Adora’s eyes squeeze shut defiantly. The blonde is shaking like a leaf, her breath coming out in panicked stutters from her pursed lips. 

Catra just stares at Adora’s scrunched up face impassively. Her scared reaction was the only confirmation she needed for closure. 

She flicks the other girl’s forehead, and her big blue eyes open in confusion.

‘Chill out, I’m not that evil to do it to someone so unwilling.’

Adora blinks, clutching her forehead. ‘Catra?’

Suddenly Angella’s voice cuts through their conversation from the car park. ‘Adora dear, are you done chatting with your friend? We have reservations!'

‘Um, I…’ Her old school captain opens her mouth to say something, but Angella's started to lose her patience. 'Adora, how long are you going to stand there? Glimmer is already waiting for us at the restaurant!' 

Catra just smiles tiredly. ‘Take care, dummy.’ 

She watches Adora being dragged off unwillingly by her adoptive mother to the car. 

Catra lets out a sigh. Her phone pings with a message from Scorpia, and she knows it's time to go. 

---

By the time Angella releases her from their graduation celebration, Adora can feel that it's already too late.

Adora: 

Please, can we talk? Let me fix this

A pop up appears over the screen. 

Message Not Sent

This person isn't receiving messages at this time. 

Adora sends another message, but they all go undelivered. Catra had blocked her again. Panic spikes through her veins, and she quickly dons on a jacket and grabs her car keys. 

She sneaks out that night, down the familiar winding path through the bush that led to Catra's place. 

'Catra?' She rolls up the garage door, blinking in the darkness. When her eyes adjusted, she found Catra's old home completely emptied. 

All the furniture and items her friend had collected over the years, they were all gone. The little stove where they cooked, the old mattress where they talked late into the night, all vanished like they were never there. 

A single green plastic bag remained on the floor untouched, filled to the brim of food. 

#she-ra #she ra #spop #catra #catradora #adora #burger king au #fanfiction

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Chess Theory 2.0

This theory comes from a discussion me and my fellow theorists had after this ask was posted:

I really love the idea of the black and white representing the battle between the CRM and the Commonwealth. We can’t know for sure if it does, but given everything leading up to this point in the story, it definitely could. My fellow theorists and I had extensive discussions about this, with @wdway especially contributing a lot of thoughts and research.

@wdway:

Starting with the ask, I love it so much and believe they could be quite right that the black could represent the CRM and the white the Commonwealth, and they could be at odds with one another and our group. TF will be caught in the middle.

Since I feel strongly that Beth could be tied to Eugene's group’s storyline, that would make her white. Rick we know is with the CRM, which makes him black. If both Beth and Rick are fighting independently within these two groups and that would make them neither black nor white but gray. This is the part that I've said for quite a while: that gray represents a middle ground, it's neither black nor white.

Beth and Rick in Coda. I chose this shot because they almost look like one unit. Both in gray from behind so that Beth's yellow shirt is not a distraction to the gray that ties these two characters together.

I also love the fact that the red machete could easily belong to either one in this shot. And with a thought that colors have different meanings for different scenes, I believe in this particular case, the gray represents that the scene is not as black-and-white, as clear cut as it seems, that there are things going on here that the viewers are not aware of. It has shades of grey for these two characters. 

Also, it could tell us why Daryl wore one white leg tie and one black leg tie. They represent the two people that he loves and will lose, believing they are both dead. He will search for them both and not be able to find either one.

Twdmusicboxmystery: Breaking into @wdway’s thoughts here just to have a wowza moment. Can you see how they’ve set this up from the start? Can you see how it lines up? Okay, back to @wdway:

@wdway​:

I simply could not go back to the hall scene in Coda without watching Daryl carry Beth out. This time I noticed something that I had never noticed before. @Frangipanilove, this one is especially up your alley. Look at the walkway right behind Daryl. On the left side, there is two parallel lines =. On the other right side is a directional symbol <. How have we not noticed this before?

I then wanted to look at the Commonwealth soldiers, so I went to the episode 16, when Eugene's group is surrounded and again I noticed something that I didn't before. 

PM 110 and RX 04. I'll start with RX, we have always attached the "X" to Beth, it can also stand for the number 10, and it has multiple meanings. When paired with an R (which could possibly stand for Rick) RX is a medical or drug symbol used for a Latin word, "recipe" meaning "to take." Yes I Googled it. I'm not sure about the PM but 101 is the series number for s8e11, Dead or Alive Or.

@twdmusicboxmystery: Breaking in again to point out that Dead or Alive Or was one of the episode titles mentioned during the Cast Trivia Battle I posted about a few days ago. Just saying.

 @wdway:

It's the episode that is so very full of Beth symbols that it's not even funny. There also Tara and Dwight's conflict and Daryl trying to take the children/people of AZ to Hilltop. 

I do want to note in the photograph above if you look at the desk you see droplets of black paint against the white top. Like I said, every symbol that we can imagine for Beth is pretty much in that episode.

@frangipanilove​:

Love this! It actually does get my mind spinning. I had to google the meaning of PM and the literal meaning is the Latin “post meridiem”, which of course translates to “after noon”. We have all these Dawn references and midnight references and clocks etc on TWD, so an “after noon” reference doesn’t seem entirely out of place. I’ve been obsessed with ep 8x11 for a multitude of reasons. A bunch of Sirius references, the green Jaguar car, the Sirius piggy bank, FGs blindness, animal traps.

Mostly I’m obsessed about it because the original Noah’s t-shirt theory pointed to 8x2, when we saw the blue heron painting, but I later realized that the “2” could also point to 8x11. The radio shack is a huge Sirius symbol in and of itself, and it even ties into ep 10x11 “morning star” (Venus/Sirius reference). I’ve never noticed the = symbol and the < symbol behind Daryl. It’s incredible that we can still discover new things in episodes we’ve watched a thousand and one times already.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

One thing I keep circling back to is the Governor because the white, king chess piece was so obviously a symbol for him. And I do think they used that specifically for his arc, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a foreshadow of another, bigger, future arc. And there was SO much Beth symbolism around him, especially in 4x06. And his chess piece was white, not black.

@wdway:

I've already gone back and started searching some things and have some ideas that will connect Beth with white and Rick with black symbolically that I'm excited about. I've already solved the problem of the white chess piece connected to the governor and I think you will love my findings.

I was thinking about the gray and Beth’s sweater and Rick's shirt in Coda, when suddenly I remembered that it was not Beth's first sweater. Her first sweater we saw in Still and it was white.

Now, this sweater has been talked about a lot through the years. White typically stands for purity, both in body and in mind and I think you can we can use both for Beth in this example. 

When Beth stands next to the Rich Bitch walker, I think it's a matter of purity of the heart. The Rich Bitch, although outwardly she's in white. she was not a person with a pure heart. What color a person wears on the outside doesn't necessarily reflect in color of their soul. Not all white is good not all black is bad.

Shortly after Beth put on the white sweater, she is covered in blood and she removes it. You would still call it a white sweater, but it has stains that cannot be removed. Her soul will always be white, but she will have strains that cannot be removed. The next time we see her in a sweater it will be a light gray, more white than black. It represents coming to grips in the world that she is in now and will be in the future.

The challenge is, if Beth represents white, what does that mean about the Governor’s white chess piece? We know the Gov was not pure of heart, so how could he be white?

When the Governor originally found the chess board and was teaching Megan the game, he is black. It was Megan that draws that eye patch on the white king because outwardly he seemed to be pure of heart, but he was not. It was an illusion. He was a black king chess piece. So, what about the fact that Rick is black, does that make him a villain? Does he have an evil heart? I believe that Rick has always struggled with his dark demons. It's in the fact that he desires to be noble and good, even though he can do bad things, his desire is pure, to have a white heart.

The next couple of shots was just confirmation that Beth will appear as white and Rick as black. Her shoes from Slabtown. 

One shoelace is white, the other is black. When I went back to look at the shoelaces, for the first time I realized that her shoes are gray. Love that.

This, I'm sure you will recognize as being from Coda, just before the exchange of prisoners. 

I'm always harping about the fact that diamond shape represents Beth, a square represents Rick. You can turn the square on its side, and it becomes a diamond. If you go back and look at the chessboard, it's a huge indication that I'm correct. If you look at the board from one angle it is blocks of squares if you look at it slightly from the side, it's diamonds.

So here, Beth is in the hallway and she will end up standing in the middle of the white diamond on top of the black square. Beth and Rick could have similar but different stories. They’re both in rebel groups, fighting for the same type of cause but in different locations. I think if that's the case, especially with Beth, we could see her appearing to be on the inside, a villain type, but in reality, more of a double agent.

They showed us in Slabtown how she could manipulate and play the game that she had to in order to survive and get what she needed.

This picture is from Dead Weight, from the cabin that the Gov searched. There are a lot of Native American symbols in that cabin and this one stood to me. It is a dreamcatcher.

This next picture is of the room in WHWGO, I'll remind you that on the corner post of the bed is a small dreamcatcher.

I think this links the two episodes together. It's hard to imagine that they would put so much symbolism and foreshadowing all in one episode, so they spread it out over several episodes and seasons. In this bottom shot, we have a black helmet sitting on top of some type of communication equipment, a telescope for gazing at the stars, a poster about science fiction with a rocket on it, a small toy helicopter on the side table. And of course we have the Dreamcatcher which imo is pointing to the next stage of clues. The other things that tie this episode and the Gov's episodes together.

 Hard to get any bigger tie than the Governor himself, surrounded with military and water symbols.

Maybe there is another symbol that could tie this to the past and future storylines. 

A shot of the Gov and Beth together in this room. Even though he is not in this shot, Rick later, at the end of episode, comes into this room. Rick, Beth, and the Gov at some point are surrounded in this room with a helicopter, rockets, airplanes, and a ton of water symbols.

What did I hear you ask? But there are no chess objects? That might be true in a material way, but I believe the conversation between Ty and the Gov was definitely a chess play, a game of strategy, moving back and forth, a power-play of sorts.

So that's all I have for you right now.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Love all this! When I was putting together my Divine Comedy Theory, I was thinking about AOW (because that’s when we saw the “Abandon all hope…” sign) and that maybe AOW was a type of the CW vs CRM war. Most of the major conflicts probably have been. The fall of the prison. AOW. Certainly TF vs the Whisperers. Maybe even Terminus. This idea is just making me re-think everything. I’m sure if we went back and rewatched, we’d see more clues than ever.

@wdway:

There was one thing that I meant to mention from Live Bait. In the nursing home, we see the woman in the yellow wheelchair. She is wearing a white gown with black trim. She had marks on her feet to make her a Christ symbol figure and we've always connected her with Beth because of the yellow chair.

Now I'm thinking she could represent white/Commonwealth and black/CRM. Because now we not only have Beth as a Christ figure symbol, but we have Rick also. Something that we did not have before the last couple of seasons. It seems easier to connect Beth to the color white. We have been doing that for years and thinking she could be at the Commonwealth and could be a part of Eugene's storyline fits with what could be coming.

Rick is harder when looking to past seasons and connecting him to the color black, but we know for certain that he was taken by the helicopter people and been told by tptb that he is with the CRM. From all that we've seen, their military color is black.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Just want to point out that in 8x12, The Key, there’s definitely a black theme going on. Rick crashes a black car, 

everything in the basement he and Negan go into is black, Negan is wearing a black coat, 

(I don’t think Rick’s shirt is black, but it’s dark enough to look black here:)

and even the sign, “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here” is written in black. 

We’ve always knew this was foreshadow of Rick’s disappearance in the helicopter group and it does suggest a black theme.

The other thing I noticed is that in the pic of Beth’s shoelaces, it’s specifically the WHITE lace/shoe was spattered with blood, just like her white sweater in Still. 

So, those two symbols are probably synonymous. I don’t have much to add for how to interpret that beyond what we’ve already said, but it’s interesting. But I guess this is the other thing I was thinking about the Gov’s S4 episodes. And there’s no way to know this for sure. But because we saw Native American stuff in the cabin he stayed in, and also around the Wolves, and both of those are heavily paralleled to Beth, I guess I’m wondering if the Native American stuff will somehow be fulfilled in this CW/CRM war stuff.

@wdway:

I love that you mentioned the blood spatter on Beth's white sweater and the shoe with the white laces. I made note of it and meant to mention it and forgot. Another thing that came to my mind in looking at the Native American stuff in the cabin is it reminded me of Ezekiel in past seasons wearing feathers in his hair. He is now with Eugene and company being held by the Commonwealth and needing medical attention.

I know it may just be wishful thinking but when we first saw the Kingdom it screamed Beth. At Grady, we saw Beth in a medical setting, learning from Dr. Edwards being his assistant which in the dead world is the new form of medical school. Fast forward, if she is with the Commonwealth it would be more than likely in some kind of medical position with the possibility of Beth and Ezekiel meeting. And gives a purpose to the painting of Beth at Hilltop to be recognized by Ezekiel. There's the question of did Eugene see Beth at Grady or was he still unconscious, if so then there again the painting.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I love the Zeke/feather tie. Side note: I have ALL kinds of head canons of Beth and Ezekiel meeting and swapping stories about Daryl and Carol.

@wdway:

Yes! Can't help but think that Ezekiel, Carol's husband and the love of her life and Daryl's love Beth could possibly meet in the Commonwealth. That this could lead to them all coming together and then torn apart. My headcanon is that something will happen, probably to do with his cancer and Ezekiel will be sent out west and Beth will go with him. I can imagine their first meeting, Elijah keeps looking at Beth asking, do I know you, you look so familiar. And they start talking about the fact that Beth is from Georgia and it all comes together. Please don't let the writers pass up this great opportunity, especially when it seems that they've been setting this up the whole time.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Yeah for sure! Love that! I’ve always thought about maybe him mentioning that his wife is named Carol. And maybe she doesn’t even think it’s the one she knows bc more than one person can be named Carol, right? But through conversation or more details, just as your head canon above, they realize this is the Carol she knows. Scenes like these would be so much fun!

@frangipanilove:

You guys discussed the blood on Beth’s white cardigan and on the shoe with white laces. It’s actually something I’ve thought about before, though I still don’t know what the most precise interpretation of it should be. But I’ve mentioned that I believe shoe/leg/foot references allude to the trunk of a car (because boot is Australian and British for trunk). Also, I believe that TPTB sometimes use the human trunk to allude to the trunk of a car (the upper body walkers coming out of the back of a car in WHAWGO, the library guy hanging from a bridge that had an x painted on his upper body, Beth’s blue hospital scrubs, Noah’s t-shirt and loads more).

Well, we see Beth get blood spatter on her upper body in Still, and we see the shoe with the white laces get a similar type of blood spatter in Slabtown. These could be trunk references.

How should we interpret it then? I don’t have anything groundbreaking on that. Just that it appears to be further evidence of an injured Beth somehow ending up in the trunk/back of a car. So basically, not anything I didn’t already believe in, but it certainly fits the symbolism language.

That’s pretty much what I have to add to the chess theory for now. As you can see, our conversations can meander and include things like headcanons. (I’d love to tell you we’re all symbolism business all the time, but that’s just not true. ;D). Anyway, hope this gets you all excited for what’s to come. It’s only a theory for now, but as you can see, there’s some pretty compelling evidence. I’ve said for a long time that the show is pointing toward some HUGE conflict in the future, and since Rick disappeared, I’ve known it would be the helicopter people. But until Nonny sent in that ask, I’d never considered that maybe the black and white theme might be pointing to it, too. Awesome!

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Thirty-Nine: Cinnamon ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uchiha Mikoto ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

“So, uh...what’s your favorite thing to make?”

Back in Home Ec once again, Sasuke’s bored out of his mind. The day before was a mini school festival, and given all the rush and preparing leading up to it, their teacher has decided it appropriate to give the class a day off from all of their sewing, baking, and other activities they used to make some money for more supplies for class.

And given that all of the underclassmen girls still seem terrified of him for...whatever reason, Sasuke falls back to the usual company of his fellow senior, Hinata.

She’s taking the time to casually knit something she was unable to finish before the craft sale. Pale blue wool dances over her needles, done almost subconsciously. “Um...can you be more specific?”

“I guess out of all the things we do here.”

She considers that with a hum. “...well, I really like knitting,” is her first answer, given with a laugh given her current project. “It’s...soothing in how repetitive it is. I can just sit and get a little lost in it. Um…” Nibbling her lip in thought, she looks around as though trying to pick out things from their surroundings. “I like to bake, too...almost anything, r-really. But my favorite are cinnamon rolls.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm! They’re just so…!” Hinata beams to herself, cheeks going a light shade of pink at a happy memory. “When they’re warm, and the icing is still gooey, and the middle is all fluffy...it’s the best…!”

In spite of himself, Sasuke grins as she describes it. There’s something really...endearing about how into it she is. Clearly it makes her as happy as she looks. “Y’know, I’m not big on sweets...but I might have to try some sometime.”

“Oh, I could make you some! But...it’s quite the process...and you have to eat them warm. They’re so much better.”

“What about it takes so long?”

“Well, you have to put the dough together and knead it, and since it has yeast in it, it has to r-rise. That takes a while. Then you roll it out, and put the filling in...roll it up...and cut the rolls. Then it has to rise again -”

“Whoa, really?”

“Mhm! And then you finally bake it!” Hinata can’t help a soft giggle. “So all in all, in takes a few hours, start to finish. You have to be d-dedicated to it! So...it’s obviously a little, um...too long to do in class. And since exams are coming up, I...won’t have time to stay after school. I need to study.”

“Yeah, me too…” In spite of himself, Sasuke finds he’s rather disappointed. He has an idea, but...he’s not sure if it’s...appropriate. Sure, he talks to her every day in this class, but...he’s not sure if he constitutes as a friend. Trying to appear nonchalant, he offers, “Maybe on a weekend sometime?”

Looking up, Hinata blinks. “Well...the school is closed then...unless there’s an event on. But...I doubt the classroom would be open…”

...she didn't take the hint. Drat. “Uh…” How to say this without sounding too forward... “My mom’s got a pretty nice kitchen. I could...get the ingredients sometime, and we could...make them there…?”

...another blink. “...oh!” Embarrassed at not realizing what he meant, she laughs, going a bit pink. “I...s-sure! She wouldn’t mind…?”

“Nah. I bet she’d be psyched, actually.” His older brother cooks like a maniac whenever he’s home, but...well, besides a few things he’s tried since starting this silly class, Sasuke’s still not an avid cook or baker.

...and he can just imagine his mother’s face at him bringing a girl home. He’s never brought a girl over. Ever.

It’ll be amusing.

“I’ll tell her you’re giving me lessons. She’s been pretty jazzed about me taking this class. Bet she’ll be happy to see me in the kitchen.”

“Oh, good! And...I guess that would technically be true. Um...sure! Just let me know when you...want to try it?”

“Sure. Uh...got a list of what I’d need?”

“Yeah, I’ll dig out my favorite recipe when I get home. Um…” Still blushed, she asks, “Do you want me to...text it to you?”

“Good idea. Here…” They exchange numbers, Hinata promising to send him the list and a rundown of the recipe as the bell rings.

“I’ll let you know when I’m free.”

“Okay! Bye.”

Huh...he’s actually really excited about this…

A weekend passes without any word - Itachi makes a surprise visit home, so Sasuke deems it a bit more critical than baking. But when Friday arrives without any signs of anything else popping up, he decides to ask if she’s free.

“Yeah, I can make it! You’ve got everything we need?”

“Yup.” He’s only double checked like five times.

“Okay - any, um...particular time I should be there?”

“I tend to kinda sleep in...maybe early afternoon just to be safe?”

“You sleep that late?” she teases.

Sasuke can’t help a pout. “No. I just mean so no one feels rushed.”

Giggling into the cuff of her sweater, Hinata shakes her head. “I know, I know. That sounds good! I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”

“Got it.”

Saturday morning, Sasuke’s in a tizzy. He volunteered to do dishes the night before after dinner, making sure the kitchen is spotless. Not that Mikoto runs a messy house. He just...wants to make a good impression. Whatever’s left from breakfast he fervently tidies up.

His mother notices, perking a brow. “What’s going on?”

“I’ve got a cooking lesson.”

That catches her attention. “Oh?”

“Yeah. Friend from Home Ec’s gonna teach me how to make cinnamon rolls.”

Mikoto perks up another hair. “Is that so...? Who’s the friend?”

“Her name’s Hinata.”

At the word ‘her’, his mother’s eyes go round, her mouth in a small matching ‘o’. After a blink, she calmly replies. “...I see. Well...I was going to work on my flowerbeds, but...if you need any help, let me know!”

“Will do.”

Once she’s out of sight, he breaks into quiet snickers.

Priceless.

His phone buzzes at about twelve-thirty, and she estimates a twenty minute bike ride. Setting up for her arrival, he’s just putting the finishing touches to his lineup of ingredients when the doorbell rings.

“Hey.”

“Hi! Um...w-where should I put my bike?”

“We can put it in the garage.” They might live in a nice enough neighborhood, but...well, better safe than sorry. Once her ride is tucked away, Sasuke leads the way in. “So, ready to see me fail miserably at baking?”

“Oh, you won’t! I’ll do most of the work, anyway. You can watch if you don’t want to do any steps.”

“I gotta give at least some of it a try.”

Hinata starts walking him through the steps (after complimenting his prep work), showing him how to activate the yeast. “See the foam?”

“Whoa, cool.”

Next they mix the rest of the dough, adding the yeast mixture and beating it until it goes smooth.

“Okay, now we need to knead it.”

Sprinkling flour on a marble slab Mikoto often uses in her baking, Hinata shows Sasuke her technique before letting him try. It takes a few turns, but eventually he gets the hang of it, Hinata occasionally dusting more flour when necessary and checking the consistency.

“That seems good! Now, it has to rise.”

“For how long?”

“An hour.”

Covering the bowl they set it in, they leave it in the warm kitchen before...turning to each other

“Um…” Hinata smiles sheepishly. “Anything you want to...do?”

“...we could, uh...watch a movie or something.”

“S-sure!”

He lets her pick, not knowing most of what his parents have bought and hoarded over the years. He could load up Netflix, but...he’s feeling lazy. Hinata, too, seems a bit unsure and picks one at random. Some newer James Bond movie he’s never seen before. They both settle on the couch and just...sit and watch, a timer set on Sasuke’s phone.

And of course it goes off during a tense fight scene, making them both jump. “Oh!”

Migrating back to the kitchen, they remove the cover and find the dough’s grown!

“Dang!”

“It’s supposed to do that!”

Mixing cinnamon and sugar, Hinata watches as Sasuke carefully rolls out the dough into a long rectangle, then brushes it with butter.

“Very good!”

They both sprinkle the mixture, and each help roll the whole thing up.

“...I think we might need two pans,” Hinata laughs. Carefully, she cuts the long roll into pieces, laying them in a thin layer of syrup along the bottom of the pans.

Then it’s back to rising.

Retreating to their movie, the pair watch in a far more comfortable silence than before. Neither notice as Mikoto wanders in for a drink of water, peeking at the two over the couch with a sly smile (and doing the same to their rising rolls).

Movie ending a bit before the timer, they find the dough big enough anyway. Once the oven heats, in go both pans, and then it’s time to wait one last time. Hinata sits on a stool, Sasuke leaned atop the counter opposite her.

“You were right - your mom does have an awesome kitchen,” Hinata admits sheepishly.

“Yeah...I need to use it more. Guess it’s a good thing I’m taking this class. Learning how, bit by bit.”

“Mhm!”

After a small pause, Sasuke decides to admit, “And I got to make a friend out of it, too.”

Jolting a hair, Hinata goes pink as the timer goes off. “I’ll...I-I’ll get them out!”

They look...amazing.

But they’re not quite finished yet. Hinata whips up the icing, and dribbles it over the buns while they’re still hot. “...okay. Time for the final step.”

“...which is?”

“Eating them!”

Sasuke fetches plates and forks, and Hinata dishes them up. She’s right: they look gooey and fluffy.

“Well...here goes.” Tearing off a hunk, Sasuke gives it one last glance before popping it in his mouth.

She watches, seemingly not aware of her intense expression.

To torture her, Sasuke chews slowly, exaggerating a thoughtful look. He will admit...these are pretty damn good. And he doesn’t ordinarily like sweet foods.

“...well?!”

He just gives a thumbs up, still chewing, almost choking as she gives a little cheer.

...that was cute.

They continue eating, sparing another roll as Mikoto joins them. Her own test goes just as well. “You must share your recipe with me!” she insists to Hinata, who sheepishly nods.

Together the pair clean up, doing the dishes and wiping down the counters. Sasuke refuses to let her leave without taking one of the pans.

“Trust me dear, we don’t need them all here!” Mikoto laughs.

“But then I’ll eat them all…” Hinata mumbles, going pink as her companions laugh.

With that...they reach an impasse.

“I’ll, um...I-I’ll bring the pan to school on Monday!”

“Yeah, sure. No rush.”

“I...I had a lot of fun.”

“Yeah...me too.”

...silence.

Nibbling her lip, Hinata carefully stores the pan into her bag, which she slings on her back before retrieving her bike. “I...guess I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah. See ya.”

Looking a little torn, Hinata hesitates before taking off. A hand waves back over her shoulder.

He waves back.

And...can’t help but feel a little lonely.

...maybe he’ll go have another roll.

     More Home Ec AU! Ahhh I really like this one, it's so fluffy and pure xD      Hinata finally gets to make her cinnamon rolls. And Sasuke gets to help! And inch a little closer to realizing that Hinata is TOTALLY girlfriend material.      I think Mikoto approves x3      Buuut on that note, I'ma call it a night~ Thanks for reading!

#sasuhina #hyūga hinata #uchiha sasuke #uchiha mikoto #best years of your life [ au ] #365daysofsasuhina

[theloveliestpartsofasexuality]

Destressor List: One Each for the Five Main Senses

So, it’s the holidays. School finals are coming up. Pretty much everyone who’ll end up reading this is probably a minority group in at least one way and has to deal with bullshit because of that.

I figure we’re all a bunch of stressed people. Therefore, here are some things you can do to relieve stress that may also even help with anxiety if you have it, like me. These are things that help me, so they won’t necessarily work for you, but it’s worth a shot.

Coloring apps:

Do you like art but don’t feel like you can create anything? Well, do you remember coloring books? There’s apps for that! For adults! There’s a plethora of pixel art apps that are basically color-by-number. I personally use Sandox because it includes a lot of pop culture stuff. The pictures can be simple or complex. Here’s some examples:

If you’re feeling more traditionally ~artsy~ there’s also apps that are pretty much coloring books. I find you can do a lot creatively on Recolor with the free tools. Here’s one picture from start to finish.

You can surprisingly add extra details with crayons. Everything you see added in the third picture was done with the crayons. They can be solid or more transparent and require a bit more patience to use since it’s more than just tapping to make color appear. It’s worth noting that the crayons are not very crayon-like. I feel that I should add that while I did used to draw kinda-sorta decently, I CANT DRAW FOR SHIT anymore because of my tremors, but I can still do stuff like that with the app (Don’t look at those flowers too closely. They look okay in the whole context of the picture but if you zoom in you can see they’re actually just squiggles, ha). The last picture looks that way not because I did anything extra to the picture but because there are filters. I finished the coloring in the third.

Hot Beverages:

During winter especially, it feels good to drink something hot. My main go to is tea. Like coffee, you may not like what you first drink, but it’s a matter of finding what flavor, strength, and level of sweetness you like. Sugar, artificial sweeteners, honey, milk/cream/coffee creamer can all be added to offset the initial bitter brew. You can find crazy amounts of detail about how to brew tea, but you don’t have to try that hard. Just don’t steep longer than ten minutes, though you can steep less. Put a microwave safe mug full of water in a microwave for two minutes. Put the tea bag or infuser in the water to steep. Bam, tea. There’s floral tea, fruity tea, earthy tea, herbal tea, whatever flavors you think might sound good as a hot beverage and more. You can find caffeine free tea easily, but even the strongest teas typically have less than half the caffeine found in a home brewed cup of coffee. Here’s a graph:

You can also go for hot chocolate(try homemade, it’s ridiculously good), hot apple cider(add cinnamon if you want), and decaf coffee. When it comes to coffee, if you want to relax, it has to be decaf.

Fuzzy Things:

When you’re feeling stressed, fuzzy things can be great, especially if they’re warm. Personally, I think the best option is a warm furry friend, but warm furry friends are not available to everyone. However, blankets are also great, and they do not have to necessarily be fuzzy if you’re not into that. You can sit and read on your phone (or scroll through Tumblr) or get a physically there book, watch Netflix/Hulu/cable/whatever you have. Pillows are a welcome addition. Heated blankets are awesome because w a r m t h, and if you’re a person who menstruates, it doubles as a way to ease cramps. On top of all that, you can also have a warm furry friend keep you company if you have one. Or any friend. Maybe even a human friend, why not, let’s gets crazy here.

Bake ALL of the Goods:

I already did taste with the hot beverages, and this is technically a heavy taste thing, but my favorite part of baking is probably the smell(especially bread. You wouldn’t believe how good homemade bread smells). Cookies are an easy one that most people enjoy the smell of and I could give you all SO MANY recipes. Like, you have no idea how many recipes I have. It’s ridiculous. You don’t need many tools for most cookie recipes, not even a hand mixer. In fact, sometimes you can’t use a hand mixture if the cookie dough is too thick. The catch is that you will have to give up on using a spoon near the end and dig your hands into it. No kneading techniques are necessary, but your hands are gonna go in the dough. If you cannot stand the way dough feels, then I’d recommend getting someone to finish mixing the dough for you or get already prepared dough. For a lot of people, however, dough is actually kinda fun to play with.

Here is my comparatively easy, completely unhealthy, absolutely amazing Super Secret Family Recipe for chocolate chip cookies. The base of this recipe can be found on the back of a Nestle chocolate chips bag, but if you compare the two, you’ll notice this one has been...modified.

Baking tools you absolutely need: two large bowls, measuring cups and spoons, baking sheet, something to mix wet(first six) ingredients. May use a large spoon, hand mixer, or stand mixer.

1 cup sugar

1 cup brown sugar (packed)

2/3 cup shortening (Crisco)

2/3 cup butter (1 1/2 sticks, softened)

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla

3 1/2 cups flour

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda (not powder!)

1 bag of Semi-sweet chocolate chips

1.) Preheat oven 375F or 190C

2.) In a large bowl, mix both sugars, shortening, butter, eggs, and vanilla together.

(Your butter needs to be soft. You may simply leave it out and let it come to room temperature or you may microwave it. Both ways work most efficiently if butter is cut into tabs. If you microwave, be careful! Don’t melt it. Microwave no more than 10 seconds at a time.)

3.) Sift flour, salt, and baking soda together in a separate large bowl.

(To sift, put all the ingredients in the bowl, then you may gently shake the bowl and/or whisk it. I shake the bowl, my grandma used a whisk. Both work fine.)

4.) Pour the dry (ingredients from number 3) ingredients into the wet and mix.

(It is easiest to do this by pouring the dry ingredients by roughly a third of the entire thing at a time. This is the point at which you should stop using a mixer, though you can keep using a large spoon until it becomes too difficult to do so. Mix the ingredients with your hands.)

5.) Fold in however many chocolate chips you want into the dough. I use about half a bag, but you can always use more or less based on your preference.

6.) Form balls of dough roughly one inch thick. You can use your hands, two spoons, or a cookie scooper(easiest). Place on baking sheet a couple inches apart. Bake for 9-12 minutes.

Yields: about 3-3 1/2 dozen cookies. Might give you four dozen if no one eats any cookie dough, I don’t know, never tried that.

Unfortunately, despite how many times I’ve made this, I don’t have a picture of cookies where I followed this recipe. I do, however, have one where I didn’t have shortening and substituted for another 2/3 cup of butter, totaling 3 sticks of butter. If you follow the recipe, the cookies will look similar, but less smooth than these:

If you have any questions or want a different recipe, ask away or DM me. If you’re uncertain about how your dough is turning out, send me a picture and I will be able to tell you how to fix the dough if it needs fixing. Don’t worry, I have corrected every mistake you could fathom with this specific recipe. You won’t be bothering me with questions. In fact, I would love to help out with it. Send me pictures of the resulting cookies, if you’d like!

Music:

So, I’m a musician. Like, I study music education at a college known for their fine arts program. My main method of trying to relax and relieve anxiety always involves music. I do a lot of playing music, but listening to music is the most relaxing thing. My advice here is to branch out and try new music. Even music you’ve never considered before. We have over a thousand years worth of music that you can still listen to today, with endless variations, from all over the world, and you’d never run out of new music.

Listen to songs in languages you don’t understand. And no, I don’t just mean K-pop, though obviously that counts. People make music in every language you can think of. Music is one of the only constants in human history. There’s music for every emotion you can think of and some music paints pictures in your head if the performer is skilled enough. You don’t even need words to do that, either. It can make you feel things just with sound, if it’s good enough. I would recommend songs, but I would need to make a master list, honestly. If you want a starting point, you can give me an emotion, a genre, a time period, a language, a favorite instrument/voice type, and/or any other criteria and I can find something for you.

#lgbtqia #lgbt #not an asexual problem #stress #anxiety #destress #little things #long post #baking #coloring #music #mental health #fun things #you can tell im not a very tactile person

[mysticdrabbles]

hiya! if its not a bother, can you please do headcanons on how the rfa(plus saeran and v bc i adore them) helps mc out of a really bad slump. i've been out of it lately and it would really help, thanks!

Oh man, I feel you buddy. I’m sorry this is so late. I reeeeally feel you lolol ^^;;

Zen:

You have never been pampered like this boy will pamper you

Two words: Spa day.

Whether that means going to an actual spa together or sitting at home and letting him pamper you himself is up to you. He’s fine with either option.

Spa day, makeup day, hairstyle day, he can and will do it all for you.

After all, how can you be upset if you’re busy feeling beautiful?

The fact is that you’re always beautiful of course, but he understands if you’re not feeling it. And even if you are, it never hurts to pile more beauty on.

He’ll do your face, your nails, your hair, you’ll look like a mythical deity when he’s done with you.

Or, you know, exactly like you but with colorful eyes and nails.

He’ll let you paint his nails too, if it makes you feel better. 

You can braid each other’s hair~

Once you’re all beauty-ed out, he’ll offer to take you on a scenic ride on his motorcycle too (as long as you wear all the proper protective equipment)

(Safety first)

Or he’ll take you on a relaxing walk around the city, maybe even on a picnic.

You’re not sure how but Zen knows all the best spots

Of course, your outing will take you through at least some crowded areas. Nothing boosts your confidence like having people halt to a stop to stare at you with awed eyes and slack jaws.

When you finally get home you’ll definitely get some massages from Zen.

He looked up a how to video online

You two sit together on the couch while he puts on whatever you want to watch

(Preferrably something he can sing along to. Bonus if you’ll sing with him~

And you can plop whatever body part is most in need of de-stressing right into his waiting hands

Take that as PG or R as you’d like

Yoosung:

Oh boy. He gets it.

You’re talking to a depressed university student here, he totally understands what it’s like to be in a slump. 

He decides that you need to take your mind off things for a little while.

And the best way to do that? Video game day!

It’s the closest a poor university student can get to taking a vacation hahaha

On our menu today we have a light appetizer of some Mario Party, followed by your choice of Mario Kart or Super Smash Bros depending on what you want him to kick your ass in

Honestly he’ll play whatever game you want. He’ll probably even try and go easy on you.

Key word: try. He may or may not be a little bit competitive. He’ll do it for you though.

Unless you notice and are offended. Then he’ll stop.

He just wants you to have fun. 

He’ll even let you be player one in all the games, because you’re player one in his heart E>

Yoosung stop that’s cheesy

Once you’re all gamed out and refreshed he’ll hold you and play with your hair

And he tells you that he knows you can do anything you put your mind to 

So don’t worry

This’ll pass

And he’ll be by your side through all the ups and downs to support and encourage you

He’ll make you dinner too, to energize and refresh you with his love. Every night. Whatever you want. Pick your favourite food, he can look up a recipe for it if he doesn’t know how to make it.

He’ll let you help if you want. Cooking together is a great mood fix!

He’ll even find a way to arrange your food in smiley faces and decorate it with hearts to try and cheer you up because he’s a dork like that

Jaehee:

This woman lived in a permanent slump for years when she worked at C&R.

A slump formed of endless exhaustion and over-exertion 

And yet even when she’s at her absolute worst she’s still the hardest worker you know

So obviously she’s the best one to go to for this.

Step One: Coffee.

(Most of Jaehee’s plans start with coffee, to be honest.)

She’ll use all the fancy tricks she’s learned from running her coffee shop to make you the perfect cup of coffee.

Some days she’ll change it up and make you a latte instead

Because she’s been practicing latte art

And how can you not feel energized after being presented with such beautiful art? 

Especially beautiful art that’s filled with caffeine?

She also has a ton of little tips and tricks on how to make it through the day when all you want to do is scream into a pillow and go to bed

One of them happens to be scream into a pillow when you first wake up. Let all the frustration out so you don’t end up snapping and blowing up right in the face of your rich ass slave driver of a–

…Jaehee are you okay?

Ahem. As she was saying, stress release is very important.

She’s also an advocate for exercise as a form of stress relief. 

She invites you to go for a run with her (she won’t even invite Zen to come along unless you request it, which is super flattering. She wants to run with just you~)

Even if you’re not feeling up for it the sight of her in a tank top and shorts with her slowly growing-out hair tied back in a short adorable ponytail and her bangs held out of her face by a golden yellow hairband that brings out the soft, gold glow of her eyes is a sight that would brighten anyone’s day

You tell her as much and her responding blush double-brightens your day

If you’re not up for it, she’ll encourage you do to some kind of exercise around the house.

Preferably while listening to one of Zen’s musicals, but she’ll put on whatever you want. She only suggests it because she knows one that’s particularly inspiring.

If you are feeling up for it she’ll make sure she matches whatever pace you’re up for going, even if that means not going above a brisk walk.

This outing is for you, after all. 

She’ll reassure you that wherever you’re at right now, you’ll be back on your feet eventually.

Until then, she’s more than happy to take care of you, whatever that may entail.

Jaehee wins girlfriend of the year.

Every year.

Jumin:

​Slump? What’s that?

“Slump” is not in this man’s dictionary.

(Which is kind of a lie, although it’s pretty rare for him. If there is work that he wants to be done he always feels like doing it, since not doing it would bother him more than his other problems do.)

(He does suffer from prioritizing other things over work sometimes when he’s stressed but that doesn’t really stress him out since he just? Doesn’t care about work at the moment?)

You tell him you’re just feeling really low, and that you’re having trouble doing the things you need to get done.

He’s like

Why don’t you just… do the things?

Forgive him he’s trying

He’s honestly not quite sure what to do?

First of all, if he can, he’ll do the things for you or hire someone else to do them. He certainly understands the frustration of things not being done when they need to be done

Outside of that, though… he’s not sure. 

Tell him what you want and it’s yours?

He’ll make you strawberry pancakes even if it is dinnertime.

And wine, because, well. Wine. It’s a cure all.

Pancakes and wine, the finest of fine dining

At night he’ll hold you close and whisper reassurances in your ear until you fall asleep.

He’ll basically do anything and everything he can to fix the problem

(He’ll even rub your clothes with catnip while you’re asleep so that you get extra cuddles from Elizabeth the 3rd the next day. Kitty cuddles are another of his cure all.)

He might back down slightly if you tell him that it’s not something that needs to be fixed so much as it is a time you need to work through

Then he’ll switch from speedy problem solving mode to unconditional love and support mode.

(There will still be wine and kitty cuddles though.)

Seven:

JOKES

MEMES

PRANKS

~*~*Defender of Justice 707*~*~ will pull out all the stops to make you smile

“What do you call it when Batman doesn’t go to church? Christian Bale!”

“How many ears does Spock have? Three! A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier~”

Yeah, that’s right, he’s bringing out the big guns.

Seriously he’s spent his life fighting off constant slumps using humour and damn if he’s not gonna use his leet memer skillz to help you through yours

He also decides he’s going to make you dinner

Oh God please no

Don’t worry, it doesn’t take him long to realize that he does not, in fact, know how to make dinner.

He does, however, make a kickass mac and cheese.

He knows all the tricks to make it perfect.

Adding just the right amount of milk, and putting real melted cheese on top...

Yeah, that’s right, he even has real food in the house. Look at him, it’s like he’s a real adult.

Except that it’s only there because you bought it.

He garnishes each bowl with a couple Honey Buddha chips. (You know, like fancy restaurants use those leafy things? Except it’s a sprinkle of crumbs and one single chip sticking up in the middle.)

Also he built you a small robot watch that generates one (1) meme per hour. 

(It looks kind of like the Apple watch except the screen is shaped like a pop-tart/cat it’s nyan cat okay and the band is a rainbow.)

It’s called the iMeme

He also builds you a cat robot that’s sole purpose is to compliment and encourage you

(Well, “built”. He just reprogrammed one of his old projects and taped a picture of his face on the front).

It’s called the iSaeyoung

And he also–

Saeyoung stop building things

For serious though, he’ll support you through it. Whatever you need, he’ll get it for you. If you need a day off, he’ll arrange it so you’re both free to lounge around and watch or do whatever you want. If you need a shoulder to cry on, what a coincidence, he has two. If you need encouragement, he has tons for you.

If you need someone murdered–

Saeyoung no

Saeran:

​Oh god you’re upset what is he supposed to do

When he’s upset he usually does unhealthy and self destructive things he has no positive coping methods to suggest (especially none that he can think of when he’s actively stressing out like this) and he’s certainly not going to suggest any of his bad ones to you

(He’s a hypocrite that way)

What do normal people do when someone they care about is upset???

Saeyoung would probably make you laugh

(Although he’s not sure Saeyoung is the best example of a “normal person”)

(It’s all he’s got to go on, he’s not exactly Mr. Popular)

“Uh, hey.”

Okay, so he’s got your attention. Now quick, think of something funny.

“Imagine if clouds could like… fall on people.”

…what the fuck, Saeran.

“I mean like, if blankets of cotton just fell from the sky and squished people.”

Oh my god stop talking, quick, think of a joke

“I-I mean… How do you make seven an even number?”

abort abort why is that the first joke that came to his mind goddamnit Saeyoung oh my god he needs to walk away right now immediately before you respond–

“…I don’t know, why?”

great. no escape now saeran, you have to answer. well, having friends was nice while it lasted.

His response is quiet, muttered out like he had to forcefully drag it out of his increasingly flushed stupid face with a tow truck.

“…you take off the S.”

…

He tried, okay? And it’s not his fault. He has a really good memory and his idiot brother keeps filling it with trash. He hates that his brain has a database of shitty 707 jokes more than you could possibly know.

But then you laugh.

And he turns even more red because he’s still embarrassed and holy shit you are godsend how could his shitty attempts cause such a wonderful sound?

You realize that this is his way of trying to cheer you up and the fact that he cares enough to tell you such an embarrassingly bad joke

Saeyoung is offended

is enough to lift your spirits even if only slightly

This is your chance to explain to him that you’re fine, you’re just… down lately.

Which gives him an opportunity to awkwardly ask what he can do to help, since he obviously doesn’t know. And he’s still working on this whole communication thing.

You tell him to just… be there.

And he nods. He can do that. He’d love to do that.

“And watch my back in case of falling clouds, okay Chicken Little?”

He doesn’t even get the reference but he is so red

It becomes an inside joke, which eventually leads to a day of Saeran sitting out of sight somewhere and throwing cotton balls at people while you point and scream “the sky is falling!”

Saeyoung is super proud

V:

​V notices that you’re not feeling your usual self.

He almost immediately arranges a nice sit down conversation about it over tea

(V has the best tea. You don’t know how he can make tea taste so good but he does? Maybe it’s because he has fancy rich people tea?)

He expresses his concern for you.

He tells you he’s here for you, whatever you need.

He tells you he understands. He’s been there.

Which is a little surprising to hear, since you can’t imagine the man before you flopping down on the couch and whining the way you are. 

(He casually does not mention that he has in fact done exactly that before. Just ask Jumin.) 

But he’s had artists block before

Another surprising one, considering how great literally every picture you’ve ever seen of his turns out

Seriously even his selfies are goddamn art.

You ask him how he gets past things like that

He smiles and tells you to that you just have to step away from the situation for a while and approach it from a different angle

And sometimes it’s easier to do with a cup of tea in one hand and the hand of someone you love in the other

V how do you take pictures if your hands are full, huh?

…It’s a metaphor.

When you’re done your talk, you’re surprised by a sudden flash of light.

You briefly wonder where the camera came from, but it’s V. Somehow, he always has a camera within reach.

At your confused look he’ll give you a smile (you know, the one that looks like angels painted it on his face themselves)

And explain that it’s a “before” picture. He’ll take a matching one “after” you find your way back out of the slump into the sunlight. To show you how far you’ve come.

Hopefully his cheesiness and ever present faith in you will lift you up. 

If not, then he’ll just be there for you to fall down on. 

(You’re working on him not feeling responsible (and guilty) for all of your problems. He’s trying his best.)

Vanderwood:

Vanderwood would notice immediately that something is up with you

They are a secret intelligence agent after all

And 707′s babysitter

So they’re used to recognizing the changes in someone’s behaviour

(Not that they’re overly focused on you or anything

You’re just.

You know.

You’re there.

So.

Of course they noticed.)

…now what

They’re good at the noticing part. They’re not so good at the doing emotions thing.

They’ll just spend more time around you.

They show up at your door muttering some story about how they were bored or needed somewhere to stay or whatever 

They bring you their favourite books (which is saying a lot like they only own like two books and they’re giving them to you???)

They kind of… awkwardly drop (read: neatly stack) the books on the nearest table with some excuse about how they’re a pain to move around from place to place so you should just have them 

and then they just

Stand there.

Which leads to them cleaning the nearest cleanable thing

(One upside, no matter how down you’re feeling your house will always be clean. Cleaning is Vanderwood’s thing.)

While they’re cleaning they would talk without looking at you because that makes it less awkward

“This’ll pass, you know.”

Their voice is just the slightest hint softer than usual.

“You just have to keep on going and it’ll pass. Everything does. Just ride it out and things will get better.”

“And, uh. Remember that you’ve got people who can help you. Like the RFA. And you have m–…”

They’re red now. Their voice raises as they continue, as though the volume can hide their embarrassment.

“And clean your goddamn house once in a while! Geez, anyone would be upset in this mess. I guess I’ll keep doing it, if you won’t.”

They don’t mind, really. If you look guilty or anything they’ll quickly tell you that. They like cleaning. And it gives them an excuse to come check on/hang out with you. 

They will not tell you that last part.

Also, while they suck at talking about feelings they’ve actually gotten pretty good at listening to them so if you ever need someone to talk to, Vanderwood is your person.

They even give good advice, Sometimes.

They have lots of life experience. Although their life experience is, uh. Not always transferable to the average everyday person.

It’s occasionally slightly illegal advice. But still pretty good.

#livtheweeb #Seven's jokes are my favourite jokes btw so you all better laugh #mystic messenger #707 #luciel choi #yoosung #yoosung kim #jaehee #jaehee kang #zen #hyun ryu #jumin #jumin han #v #jihyun kim #saeyoung choi #saeran #saeran choi #vanderwood #mysterious headcanons #the crossed out lines in v's are what i would be like in a relationship with v #it would be exhausting and he would go gray within the year I'm sure

[onestowatch]

REI AMI Is the Saddest, Baddest Bitch [Q&A]

The first time I came across REI AMI it was not through a well-intentioned pitch e-mail or by way of an eerily well-calculated Spotify algorithm. It was during an interview with FINNEAS, the sole producer and brother to Bille Eilish, and it was during that conversation above Hollywood Forever cemetery that I came to discover what exactly excited him so much about the up-and-coming artist with only three singles to her name. 

At her core, REI AMI is an artist of duality quite like no other. It is not a duality carefully explored through a large body of work or multiple online personas but one expressed with a reckless abandon, often in less than three-minute outbursts. REI AMI takes the appeal of Gen Z’s distaste for strict genre conventions and sees just how far she can push it. "

MAKE IT MINE,” her debut single, opens in haunting fashion, painting a transfixing picture of ominous pop perfection. Yet, on the same track, we are introduced to an entirely differently REI AMI. Gone is the siren with her cutthroat delivery. Instead, we are thrown down the rabbit hole, left to dance a psychedelic waltz that quickly sputters out of existence. The effect is all the more pronounced on “SNOWCONE,” which balances an impressive chaotic bravado and acoustic melancholic bedroom pop with inimitable ease.  

I had the chance to speak to REI AMI, on the set for an upcoming music video, about Sailor Moon, living a double life, and the importance of being both a sad and bad bitch. 

Ones To Watch: Who is REI AMI?

REI AMI: REI AMI is me. I grew up watching a lot of Sailor Moon. There are two characters, Sailor Mars and Sailor Mercury. Sailor Mars, her name is Rei, she's like the more hot-headed, very direct, blunt, bad bitch. Then there's Sailor Mercury, Ami, and she's still a bad bitch but like, she's more sweet and sensitive and reserved, and I thought those two characters best represented like, the two polar sides of my personality. I was like this is it! REI AMI sounds so dope. I have an emotional attachment to it. There's value in that and also it just represents duality. It's not having to choose between this or that. It's about embracing both and I feel like I can do that in my music. The transitions, they make sense because I can go from twerking to crying (laughter). Bad bitch to sad bitch, you know?

This idea of duality, from your name to your music, is outright impossible to ignore. 

REI AMI, this is who I am, I don't have to pick and choose just like, let's fucking go. With "MAKE IT MINE," "SNOWCONE," and "DICTATOR," they all have transitions, so those are like straight REI AMI tracks. Some currently unreleased songs that I have are straight REI tracks or AMI tracks, and if I want to do both it's REI AMI. But I know that, especially with "SNOWCONE," my producer Elie and I wanted a drastic switch-up because I go through highs and lows, and I'm not alone in that. 

“I want you to feel, and I want you to go from twerking, being a bad bitch to knowing it's okay to be sad. It's okay to be a bad bitch and still be sad.”

I think it's a very human experience that everyone deals with, and I thought it would be really important and really cool to sonically represent that and allow my listeners to experience what I go through on a daily basis. The reception it's gotten and the DMs from people telling me how much it meant to them was like the most validating, rewarding thing, because shit like, my song made you feel some type of way. That's the goal. I want you to feel, and I want you to go from twerking, being a bad bitch to knowing it's okay to be sad. It's okay to be a bad bitch and still be sad.

Yeah, it really gave me the vibe of this girl killing it at the club and then going home and crying in her pillow.

Yes! Like, "Ugh, I hate my life!" Shit like that, we all go through it.

I discovered you in relatively unconventional fashion. FINNEAS, who loved your production—

—and co-signed the fuck out of me!

Yeah, it was an immediate co-sign! He was like, "I only have one One to Watch right now, and it's REI AMI."

Oh my God, I'm fucking dead. I just... What the fuck is going on in my life? Like, of all the people, the first song I ever heard from Billie was "COPYCAT," and I've been following her since. She's obviously a worldwide superstar, and FINNEAS, they work exclusively together, so that story was already so beautiful and appealing, and that's very much like my producer and I. I work mainly with one collaborator because it works. You know, don't fix what's not broken. Obviously, I'm open-minded to working with other people, but what we have is so special, and I feel like I really see that in Billie and FINNEAS' relationship. So, it was just a very validating thing to get it from FINNEAS. From all of the people, FINNEAS was like, "Yes, REI AMI is that bitch!" Thank you FINNEAS, thank you for understanding!

How did you start making music with your producer?

So, freshman year of college, which was like 5 years ago, so I've been recording and writing for five years. I didn't release anything up until this year just because I felt that I wasn't ready, and I was still trying to figure out who I was and what kind of message I wanted to spread. You know, I was a dumb bitch, and I was making a lot of sad, heartbreak R&B songs, because I thought that's what people wanted to hear. R&B is the new pop, I love R&B, and I grew up on it. I was playing it so safe. I wasn't taking risks. And for the longest time, I wasn't having fun making music. Then I went through some real fucked up shit in my life earlier this year that spiraled me out of control and put me in a bad place both mentally and physically. I wanted to quit. I was like, "I haven't released shit so it doesn't fucking matter, no one's going to know or care." But then Elie was like, “No, pull up.” 

I went to the studio, I got shitfaced, and he started making a beat. I had a hook written down and it ended up being "MAKE IT MINE." And the weird breakdown in between was because I was so shitfaced and he intentionally did that so I would stumble on it because he wanted to know what drunk REI would say, and that's what happened. We shot the video the same night—he literally got up from his producer desk and was like "Uh, so do you want to shoot the video tonight?" I was like, "Say less." 

“Why would you want to make another song that sounds like 10 other songs out there? No, just fucking be you. There is no recipe, there is no equation.”

I love it! It feels so organic—all of your music does. 

Literally, it's just us fucking around and bullshitting. And that's how it should be. That session was the most fun I've had in years, and that's when I realized like if you're not having fun writing, recording, if you're not enjoying the process, you need to step back and re-evaluate your whole fucking approach. Like, what's wrong? What's good? And for the first time in such a long time, I felt so... myself. And take to mind, the production sonically, everything, is very left-field from what I was making, so I initially did not like the song. I was like this is so different, this is so weird. But then I was like wait, this is how it should be. Why would you want to make another song that sounds like 10 other songs out there? No, just fucking be you. There is no recipe, there is no equation. Fuck the equation, fuck what you want to hear. I want to make the shit that I want to listen to on the daily, on repeat for a week at a time.

I think that’s exactly what Billie and FINNEAS strove to do, and it seems like that’s where you’re headed with your music. There's no one else out there where I've been like, "Shit, she's a pretty good rapper," right before throwing me into a sad bedroom pop spiral.

Yeah! And I love hip-hop, I really got into it in high school when my friend put me onto Kendrick’s Section.80. I don't know much about that genre, because there's so much to learn and so much that I need to understand and really dive into and study, but Section.80, in terms of storytelling and his vocal abilities, like Kendrick is not just a rapper, he's a vocalist. The way he delivers vocally was so new to me, and it had such an impact on me. So, I've always been a huge fan of rap and hip-hop but I never thought I could do this until this year. 

With "DICTATOR," when I first wrote it, I had gotten my wisdom teeth taken out and I was high as fuck on Vicodin and I was like, "You know what, Imma fucking spit bars because I feel crazy right now." The first half of "DICTATOR" was all written by myself, me in my room, high as fuck. I ripped a beat off of YouTube, I was like, "I'm going in!" and then I sent it to Elie and he was like "Pull up this weekend, it'll be produced out and we'll re-record it, and that's what happened.”

What does your day-to-day life look like compared to this crazy music life?

(laughter) I am Hannah Montana. I have a full-time day job and they have no idea. I work for a custom packaging company and our biggest client is Sephora, so I oversee all of their international and domestic programs. It's a nine-to-five, but it's such a lax company that I can do music and be here and be places, but they have no idea. I'm the youngest in the company by like... a lot! So like they're not going to be like, "Hey girl, what's your Instagram, like add me!" (laughter) Like no one's doing that shit. They think I'm just chilling in LA.

So, what's next for you?

So I have a series of singles coming out next year with videos and then there's a fuller length project—a mixtape dropping around May-June, followed by some live shows. It's crazy, a lot of people are like, "When are you going on tour? When are you performing? I want to see you live!" And as much as I want to perform, I want to get it right. And being the neurotic person that I am, I'm not going to put on a show that's half-assed. If fans are paying money and coming, giving me their time, I want to make sure it's worthwhile and the energy I give out, I want it reciprocated. As much as I hate making them wait, like, hey, good things take time and I promise you, it's going to be such a wild experience. I'm so excited like, oh my God I cannot wait!

With 2019, coming to an end, what was your favorite thing about the 2000s?

Well, okay, I'm sorry but early 2000s pop and music in general I mean come on, the classics like "Milkshakes," 50 Cent’s "Candy Shop," "Moneymaker" by Ludacris and Pharrell, the Pussycat Dolls, Fergie, old The Black Eyed Peas, you know. I think that obviously molded my sound like you know, Missy Elliot and Destiny's Child and Beyonce—oh God when she was just rising and becoming that fucking monster you know? I think I miss 2000s music so much, and it always puts me in a good mood.

What's your 2020 resolution or goal?

Okay, I mean I want to do COLORS, I want to do Genius videos, I want to do the Teen Vogue Playlist of Your Life, Pitchfork’s Over/Under, Song Association on Elle. I want to do all of those things because those shows on YouTube are how I found some of my favorite artists. I want to go on tour and I just want world domination. I want to go internationally like, ugh I have so many ideas. I want to release the dopest merch where my dog is the brand mascot. I guess touring would be like the ultimate, whether I go on a headlining tour or a supporting tour. Just to be able to go out there on the road and meet my fans. That's an experience I've never had, and I'd love for 2020 to be the year where I do that.

What's the one thing you wish you could tell 18-year-old REI AMI?

Stop giving a fuck. Just stop. At the end of the day, if you're not happy doing what you're doing, especially when it comes to the music, stop, grow the fuck up and do what you want. Fuck what other people have to say. It took a long time for me to get there, and I believe synchronicity is very much real and timing is everything, but I just wish I cared a lot less about people and their opinions of me. Be a boss bitch! Goddammit! Stop being a little bitch. That's exactly what I would say. "Stop being a little bitch, bitch!"

Who are your Ones to Watch?

Ant Saunders. Ant fucking Saunders. His voice is fucking incredible. "Yellow Hearts." I haven't been able to stop listening to that. It just puts me in such a good, uplifted, happy mood. His voice is just so rich and so mature.

#rei ami #rei #ami #interview #pop #anti pop #indie #bedroom pop

[kiddiemom-blog]

Spiked Hot Chocolate Recipe

Spiked Hot Chocolate is a joyful mixed drink perfect for the holidays, and you can quickly whip up a fast batch for this year's holiday celebration, and even make single servings for unwinding at home by the Christmas tree. If you're not quite sure just how much or what kind of alcohol you 'd like to dress up your hot cocoa with this season, you've concerned the best location!

This is a homemade hot chocolate dish produced increasing, and you can make it deal with practically any combination of alcohol. Not sure which combo to use? See the list of boozey products below, all of which pair perfectly with chocolate. If you're not prepared to put on your mixologist britches just yet, take comfort in knowing you've got 3 stellar, ready-made alcoholic hot chocolate mixes to choose from: vanilla vodka and Kahlua, Baileys and Kahlua, or make it simple with whipped cream vodka!

HOW TO FACILITATE SPIKED HOT CHOCOLATE

To make spiked hot chocolate, you would begin in a pot on the stovetop with your cocoa powder mix and a bit of water over medium heat. Once the cocoa mix has liquefied, the dairy goes in. After the hot chocolate has actually heated through, it's gotten rid of from the heat, add the vanilla extract (and peppermint extract, if utilizing) along with the alcohol.

FAST RECIPE RECAP

Mix cocoa powder, sugar, salt, and water in a pot on the stovetop over heat.

Add the dairy and bring to temperature.

Eliminate from heat and vanilla (or peppermint) extract and alcohol.

FEEL THE BURN (OR ACTUALLY, DON'T)

The trick to an excellent cocoa powder-based spiked hot chocolate is (hate to state it) fat. Heat tends to intensify the burn of alcohol on your scheme. The fats from the dairy will help to counterbalance the burn. Using cream and entire milk, instead of let's state a mix of half-and-half and 2% milk, will assist to cut that overpowering, unpleasant burn from the alcohol, and produce a smooth and satisfying spiked hot chocolate.

If you're in a pinch and you don't have the cream, you can still use this dish with whatever dairy you have on hand. I would recommend adding the alcohol in smaller increments to taste, rather than all at once if making a huge batch.

HOW TO CUSTOMIZE SPIKED HOT CHOCOLATE

You can get actually creative when it pertains to surged hot chocolate, and if you want to go out on a limb, do a little exploring and create your own spiked hot cocoa recipe, below you'll discover a few various boozey choices to choose from!

As a base for your mixed drink dish, for each 5 ounces of dairy, you'll use 1 ounce of liqueur and 1/2 an ounce of alcohol.

TERRIFIC ALCOHOL OPTIONS FOR ALCOHOLIC HOT CHOCOLATE:

Vodka

Vanilla Vodka

Whipped Cream Vodka

Bailey's Irish Cream-- a whiskey-based, cream liqueur with moderate chocolate flavor

Godiva Chocolate Liqueur-- cocoa flavored liqueur

Frangelico-- hazelnut flavored liqueur

Kahlua Coffee Liqueur-- rum-based, coffee seasoned liqueur

Customer XO Coffee shop-- tequila-based, coffee-flavored liqueur

Rumchata-- rum-based, creamy, cinnamon-flavored liqueur

FOR HOT CHOCOLATE WITH BAILEYS AND KAHLUA

Single Serving: Hot chocolate with Kalua and Baileys is also a popular combination. For this mixed drink, you'll include 1 ounce of Kahlua and 1 ounce of Baileys per serving of hot chocolate. A standard hot chocolate serving is anywhere from 5-8 ounces, which is simply under or right at 1 cup of liquid.

Huge Batch: For a big batch, follow the hot chocolate dish located in the dish card, leaving out the vodka and Kahlua quantity it calls for. Instead, add a 1/2 of a cup each Kahlua and Baileys.

FOR HOT CHOCOLATE WITH WHIPPED CREAM VODKA

Single Serving: To make an alcoholic hot chocolate with whipped cream vodka, add 1 1/2 ounce of whipped cream vodka per serving of hot cocoa.

Huge Batch: For a big batch, follow the hot chocolate dish located in the recipe card, leaving out the vodka and Kahlua it calls for. Rather, include 1 cup of whipped cream vodka.

How to Make Spiked Hot Chocolate from Leftover Peppermint Bark

We make a couple of batches of my Williams-Sonoma copycat Peppermint Barkat the start of every Christmas season. The huge shards are usually gobbled up fairly quickly, however inevitably we'll be left with a couple of scraps come the end of the vacations, and the remaining bark goes in a container for a very special occasion. We host a meal Christmas party every year, and we constantly supply our signature roasted beef tenderloin canapés and, obviously, increased peppermint hot chocolate.

If you want to make alcoholic hot chocolate with your remaining peppermint bark, here is a basic technique for doing so. I make certain everybody's leftover quantities will vary, so here is more of a method instead of a recipe for putting that peppermint bark to great usage.

1. INTEGRATE PEPPERMINT BARK AND CREAM

Include your leftover bark to a large pot, and put over simply enough cream to cover the bark. Over low heat, and allow it to melt together.

2. INCLUDE MILK AND VANILLA EXTRACT

Add whole milk, cup-by-cup, until it tastes like hot chocolate! At the end, splash in 1 teaspoon of pure vanilla extract for an additional unique touch. Keep track of how much liquid you include, as this will impact just how much alcohol enters into the cocktail.

3. ADD ALCOHOL

Once the chocolate to milk ratio is right, add the alcohol. For every 5 ounces of dairy, you will include 1 ounce of coffee liqueur and a 1/2 ounce of vanilla vodka. If you can discover a mocha coffee liqueur, consider it a double reward! It works perfectly for this mixed drink. Then, transfer it into a hot drink dispenser or a crockpot on warm and serve!

Complete your spiked hot chocolate with an extremely significant serving of whipped cream, marshmallows, crushed peppermint candy, or perhaps even a candy walking cane for an additional special touch. Whichever method you select to make or serve it, you can rely on warm smiles and spirits to be raised! Please, delight in.

Spiked Hot Chocolate

Perfect, spiked hot chocolate including a simple, homemade hot chocolate recipe with vanilla vodka, and Kahlua.

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1/4 teaspoon Kosher salt

1/2 cup water

2 1/2 cups whole milk

1 1/4 cup whipping cream

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/2 teaspoon pure peppermint extract (optional)

5 ounces (about 2/3 cup) Original Kahlua or Mocha Kahlua

2 1/2 ounces (about 1/3 cup) premium vanilla vodka

whipped cream (optional)

crushed peppermint candy (optional)

In a medium-sized pan over medium heat, integrate sugar, cocoa powder, salt, and water and whisk to integrate.

Enable mix to come to a fast simmer, and put in milk and cream. Stir often until heated up through. Remove from the heat.

Add the vanilla and peppermint extract (if utilizing), Kahlua and vanilla vodka, and stir once again.

Ladle into a mug, top with whipped cream and crushed peppermint (if wanted). Serve and delight in.

If you can discover Peppermint-Mocha Kahlua, this can be used and the peppermint extract within this dish can be omitted.

" none" data-count=" 0" data-float-color=" #ffffff" > Pin Share Share The post Spiked Hot Chocolate Dish appeared initially on

The Anthony Kitchen.

[scottbrownmoviereviews]

LOGAN FILM REVIEW

Logan, written and directed by James Mangold, is the third solo Wolverine film in the X-Men franchise as well as the final outing for Hugh Jackman in the role that he originated all the way back in the year 2000. This film follows an aged Logan, aka Wolverine, who has lost much of his healing factor and even his ability to fully use his claws. Much is the same for his companion Caliban and Professor X, who has become senile. Logan is living a very much meaningless existence until a child, very much like himself, is thrust into his care.

I just have to start out by saying that I have been pumped for this film for a long time. It checks all of the boxes that can potentially make a great film. Does it have a good director? Check. James Mangold made a solid Wolverine film in 2013’s The Wolverine, but the writing fell flat in the end, but he has also made a modern western classic in the 2007 remake of the film 3:10 to Yuma, so he is a talented director. Does it have a good cast? Check. It’s Hugh Jackman, that’s all you need. Does it stay true to the source material? Double check. We were promised a hard R- rated film, much like Wolverine is in the comics. With all of these ingredients, it seemed like a recipe for success, and indeed it was. Logan is a masterpiece.

I want to praise Mangold for the way that he took the film. He crafted the story and script to fit a certain tone that hasn’t been created for a character that sorely needs a bit of darker tone than what he has been given, so far, and that shows in this film. Mangold made this film unapologetically dark, unapologetically brutal, and unapologetically intense, all for the sake of creating a tone that fit the story that he was trying to tell about a character that shouldn’t be lighthearted. Since Mangold was willing to take these risks, the film was made all the better for it.

The performances were outstanding as well. Hugh Jackman is obviously great as Wolverine, but this is probably his best performance out of the nine times that he has now donned the muttonchops. He plays Wolverine as even more calloused and tortured than ever before and there are several scenes where he breaks your heart. Daphne Keen, who plays the young Laura, was also fantastic as well. She didn’t have much to say, but she honestly didn’t need to because she had a great presence to her, but when she did have lines, they were delivered very well, especially for a kid. Boyd Holbrook was also great as the villain, even if he didn’t have as much to do as he probably could’ve had.

This film is also able to deftly handle so many different genres being crammed into one film and, in my opinion, it makes the film that much more interesting with these myriad of genres. It’s an action film, a road-trip film, a father-daughter film, a sci-fi film, a drama, and, probably the most important genre for this film, it’s a western. Logan in this film is very much like every western hero before him with his hero’s journey. There are even hints of samurai character traits, especially those of a Ronin, influencing the character of Logan in this film, which makes sense because Wolverine used to be a samurai for a time in the character’s history.

As for issues with the film, they are few and far between. There are some points in the second act where the pace really slows down and nearly grinds to a halt for a couple of minutes, but it picks right back up and you never even remember that it slowed down. And, like I said above, I wish Boyd Holbrook had a little bit more to work with. Other than these slight little nitpicks, I really had no problem with the film at all.

Overall, Logan is a beautiful, brutal, heart-wrenching film that transcends the comic book genre and is just a masterpiece film in its own right.

9.9/10

Thanks for reading!

#logan #wolverine #logan movie #hugh jackman #daphne keen #boyd holbrook #marvel #patrick stewart #professor x #x-23 #Film Review

[booksbroadwaybbc]

A note to self and a request for commentary or resources. via /r/selfimprovement

A note to self and a request for commentary or resources.

I'm pretty underwhelmed with my recent performance but, on the whole, reasonably satisfied with where I'm at in life. Some aspects of my life could use considerable improvement, some I'm fairly proud of. I'm mostly writing this as a benchmark for myself with the addition of a few requests from the community. Everyone's also of course welcome to comment whatever they please and maybe I can gain something additional and unexpected.

I'll reevaluate at the turn of the year. My goals through December are as follows:

Eat better. I'd like to gain 15 pounds, mostly muscle. This sounds more unachievable than it is, but I'll spare the details unless requested. To do this I need to meal prep biweekly, make dinner every night and ensure that I eat a small meal immediately upon waking. The rest I can do mostly without thought.

Read more. Each year I set myself the goal to read one book a week and virtually always exceed my goal. This year I decided to make that goal 1,000 pages every week and have, thus far, fallen well and truly short. 15,000 additional pages through the end of the year could be considered a victory for me. I'm taking two months off work in the near future and hope this is an easily obtainable goal.

Get back in the swing of working out. I'm a wannabe powerlifter. I was hoping to be having an honest conversation with myself about ramping up for this year or next year's national meet. Between multiple injuries and a lack of discipline, I'd be too embarrassed to even do a local meet right now. Diet is the key factor but the gym work needs to be improved once my diet is in check. I'd like my big 3 total to be within touching distance of my personal records at the turn of the year. To at least be able to qualify for nationals for my weight class next year would be a major victory at this point.

Start reading more massage therapy literature. I've stagnated in my career and I'm incredibly dissatisfied with myself in this realm. I need to make myself a better therapist in virtually every way. I need to brush up on my anatomy and physiology, start attending more workshops and become better grounded. More time, practice and intention need to be devoted to this area.

Be more organized. I'm usually reasonably clean and organized however, I'm currently writing this in my disheveled home. I'll clean thoroughly the moment I'm finished with this post. I'd like to get back into the habit of everything having a home and consistently living there. Mental organization seems to follow physical organization in my life.

Enroll in school. I'm almost finished with my associates, I've been going to school on and off since I graduated high school 6 years ago. I'm in a good place to get back to school full time. I'd like to get enrolled and have everything set up so tuition is entirely paid for, at least for the end of my associates. I'd like to double major and finish in 2020.

Get my massage practice (re)started. I don't think this will happen this year with my planned vacation but I'd like to have all my ducks in a row and ready this year for when I have my finances in place to transition to self employment. I need to get my business applications, relevant licenses, website and various softwares sorted and ready by year end.

My vacation has everything to do with relationships. I'm going to head back to the area I grew up in for a (somewhat) extended period. Several of my best friends and most of my family life in the area and I'd like to do some nice things for them and spend some quality time.

Max my Roth and save some money. I keep my pennies in a vice grip, this is just about income. On course so far, just have to stay the course.

That's what I want to work on through the year. Things I'd love to get from the community here are:

Food prep recipes and general commentary. Help me spice it up and stop viewing it as a chore, I've gotten a bit bored with my own cooking and methods. Cooking for others again will help but still.

Business resources. Anybody with relevant experience that wants to comment, feel very welcome. Remind me of things you think I might be forgetting to do in getting my practice started up again.

Book recommendations are always welcome. Primary interests are economics and philosophy. Favorite fiction authors are probably murakami, dostoevsky and vonnegut to give you an idea but I've read most of their books. Different authors in a similar vein would be appreciated. I also love virtually any decent fantasy.

Things you think I'm missing. Any advice or commentary is welcome, there's obviously more to my life than just what's listed but, nonetheless, I'd love to hear your thoughts and priorities.

Feel free to share your personal goals. We can hold each other accountable or not. Either way. I just like to reevaluate and recommit from time to time that way I either find the discipline to move forward or mock myself until I do.

Edit: Also scholarship and programming resources are very welcome. They're readily available enough that I didn't think to ask but maybe you have resources or a thought that can make the process easier for me.

Submitted July 30, 2018 at 11:29PM by somaandfeelies via reddit https://ift.tt/2vk7kMt

#IFTTT #reddit

[morganjo33-blog]

With my favorite holiday right around the corner, I thought I would compile a list (a “Christmas list”, of sorts) of the things I could not have survived without during my first year as a new twin mom. I REALLY wish someone would have shared this with me when I was pregnant or right after the birth of my girls. Some of the items on this list I received as baby shower gifts, others I purchased during the girls’ first year, and a couple I do not personally own but were recommended by other twin mommies. I have included links so you can purchase them yourself, or throw them on your own registry.

**The majority of these products would work for moms of singletons, too!**

TWIN Z NURSING PILLOW (or any other comparable double nursing pillow, like the My Breast Friend)

This pillow was an absolute LIFE SAVER. Definitely worth the hefty price tag (I actually purchased mine from a fellow twin mom, and then sold it to another twin mom!). It is great for tandem nursing, single nursing, holding babies, propping up babies with bottles, tummy time and more! You can even get various covers for it (I recommend water proof, a lot of milk drippage and puke will end up on it)!

  LARGE DIAPER BAG

I went with a cute, large, JuJuBe diaper bag and I absolutely love it. It fits everything I need, and it isn’t horrendously ugly. Another $$$ purchase but worth the splurge. One thing I might have changed, or purchased in addition to, would have been a backpack diaper bag. But this one had a long enough strap that I could wear cross-body and still be hands free to carry my girls. 15 months later I still use it almost every day and am pretty sure it will last me through a potential baby #3, as well.

  HANDS-FREE PUMPING BRA

DO NOT LEAVE HOME WITHOUT THIS. Truth. Anywhere my pump went, so did this bad boy. I only purchased one, and I will admit it looks pretty gross now, but it was so convenient. While pumping at home I could enjoy my coffee, while pumping in my office I could work, while pumping in my car I could drive….you get the picture. If you don’t want to buy one, or are in a pinch, you can cut small holes in and old sports bra and it works just about the same!

  SLEEP SACKS/SWADDLES (lots)

Every baby is different, but my girls loved their sleep sacks and swaddles. Now you can be one of those moms that swaddles by hand with a blanket, but who really has time for that, times 2? Also, my husband was a better swaddler than me so having these helped keep him from continuously rubbing it in my face. Link above is to my favorite ones (SwaddleMe Pods) that actually fit my preemie size newborns.

  ROCK ‘N PLAYS (2)

These are essential for naps or master bedroom babies. Or babies with reflux. I’ll warn you, they aren’t made specifically for nighttime sleeping, and I have heeded the advice of others telling me they may not be perfectly safe for nighttime sleeping, but they worked well for us! We kept one on each side of our bed, so that Nick and I could be in charge of “one baby” each night. Having these within reach was great for night time feeds and fuss, and for popping binkies back in their mouths every 5 minutes. The slight incline helped the girls with their reflux as well.

  BOTTLE LEASHES (2)

I only wish I had discovered these sooner. These are for the baby that can now hold their own bottle (works with sippy cups, too). I discovered my need for these after countless car rides and walks in which one or both girls would constantly toss their bottles. No one likes a bottle that has been rolling in the dirt, or one that rolls under the seat of your van and is out of reach to you or dad. These genius products strap around the cup on one end and can then be secured to seat belts, strollers, etc. When your kid gets a little older, they can even “reel” their cup back in!

  BINKY CLIPS (several)

Once your babies become mobile, binkies are dropped and lost all day, every day. And there is nothing worse than a screaming baby and a lost binky. With these clips, you can fasten them to your little one’s clothes. Yes, you will still lose them, but not nearly as often. And you can get super cute ones and make them a fashion statement. Win win.

  NURSING TANK TOPS (several)

These serve as both a bra, and a tank top (at least for me). Easy access for the little ones always grabbing at your boobs. Tip: Make sure you wear nursing pads if you are going to put on nipple balm. That stuff stains big time.

  BABY SWINGS (2)

test

I registered for two different swings, and was lucky enough to receive them. Much to my surprise, they were also different in that they moved in different directions (one side-to-side, one forward-to-backward). This allowed me to have both babies in swings at the same time, and I was able to switch up the sways to add variety. The link above and this link are the ones we have.

  BABY MOON PILLOWS (2)

I know, I know, pillows for babies are a big no-no. But these pillows are not really for sleeping, but more for monitored naps, swing time, car seat time, etc. They are made to help avoid flat heads (or to remedy less severe ones). I will never forget the day I took a side profile photo of Lennon and realized the back of her head was super flat. I quickly researched helmets and noted how expensive they would be if insurance didn’t cover them(one, let alone two…Rowe’s head was slightly flat as well), and how uncomfortable they looked. So I Googled some more and found these pillows. I am telling you, after less than two weeks of use, I noticed a huge difference. And at the girls next doctor appointment my pediatrician assured me that they would not need helmets. We obviously would have gotten them the helmets and therapy should it have been necessary (babies are so cute in those fun helmets) but it was nice to not have to worry about it. Again, all babies are different, and this may not be a fix for yours, but I say it is worth a shot!

  BABY SHUSHER

My photographer introduced me to this little gem. It makes white noise, on a timer, similar to what your newborn would hear in the womb. And it is small enough to fit in your diaper bag. I would toss this in one of the girls’ car seats during fussy drives and often (not always) it would calm them down! Just another tool to keep in my tool belt.

  DOUBLE JOGGING STROLLER

A definite necessity. We started off with the Graco double stroller that our car seats could click into, which worked great when traveling. But it was a you-know-what to lug around, the girls were too small to fit safely when not in the car seats, and it was not convenient for quick walks around the neighborhood. So we got this jogging stroller and the rest is history. We use this 80% of the time and we love it. And, get this, it is one of the CHEAPER jogging strollers and works great, IMO.

  NAME BRACELETS (2)

I purchased these for the girls to help us tell them apart when they were first born, and also as a super cute accessory. Our Rowe developed a birthmark on her face at around 5 weeks old, which made it a lot easier to tell them apart, so they didn’t wear these often. But I think these are great for identical twin girls!!

  BABY BREZZA

This is an item I have never used, personally, but comes highly recommended from other twin mamas. It preps baby’s formula for you! It is like a Keurig for formula – how convenient! I hear it is a real game changer.

  CRIB AQUARIUMS

These crib toys help us get a few extra minutes of sleep. The girls have learned how to turn them on and will sit in their cribs and quietly watch (a lot of the time). Side note: my aunt also has one of these for herself. They are that amazing.

  BABY BULLET

If you are a mom who wants to do it all, like me, then you are probably thinking about making your own baby food. It really isn’t as difficult as it may seem, and is made 10 times easier with this contraption. It pulverizes veggies, fruit, meat, table food, etc. into perfect purees for your little ones. It also comes with utensils, a freezer tray and little jars to keep thawed food in (I bought extra trays and jars since, you know, two babies). It also has a recipe book!

  EZPZ PLATES

There is a fun story behind this one. My grandfather’s friend’s daughter (or is it daughter-in-law?) owns this company! His friend actually sent us four of the EZPZ plates as a gift when the twins were first born. We use them all of the time. We take them all over the place, especially restaurants, so we don’t have to put their food on sticky, dirty tables. Score!!

  SILICONE BIBS – W/BUTTONS! (several)

Right around the time R&L started feeding themselves, they also started ripping their bibs off. So I fired up the trusty Google in search of bibs with buttons, instead of the usual Velcro. I came across these bibs, and they work like a charm. The easy cleanup silicone and food catching pouch are an added bonus.

  Feel free to send this list to Santa; I promise you won’t regret it. In my next post, I’ll tell you what I am wishing for THIS year.

Know a new twin mom, or someone expecting twins? Or really any new mom? Check out this list! With my favorite holiday right around the corner, I thought I would compile a list (a “Christmas list”, of sorts) of the things I could not have survived without during my first year as a new twin mom.

#baby #christmas #General #Life #list #Pregnancy #products #twins #wish

[theforkedspoon]

Easy Summer Tacos with Orange Cherry Salsa

This post is sponsored by the LA VICTORIA® Brand but all content and opinions expressed here are my own. Thank you for reading! #ad #100yearsOfLaVictoria #100yearsSF

Tacos are a California summer staple and one of my favorite foods. Today I'm celebrating delicious tacos, sweet summer and 100 years of the makers of LA VICTORIA® Brand with these amazing Summer Tacos with Orange Cherry Salsa.

Like most kids, I grew up eating tacos and quesadillas. They were a staple of my diet then, and, in many ways, remain a staple of my diet now. My taco creations may be a little more sophisticated these days, but as a kid they were all about two things-

The cheese and THE SAUCE.

I remember it clearly... I would cook my quesadilla (with too much cheese, obviously) in our toaster oven, cut it into triangles, dump a huge spoonful of sour cream in the middle and pour LA VICTORIA® Brand Taco Sauce over the top. Always too much sour cream and taco sauce, but I made sure to scoop up every last bit.

My mom, sister and brother all ate their tacos and quesadillas the same way. And my mom, bless her heart, always made sure to keep our pantry stocked with extra bottles of LA VICTORIA® Brand taco sauce because that was the only one we would eat.

I realize now two things-

ONE: This was the beginning of my love for all Mexican-inspired food and flavors. After all, I was born and raised in California; it had to happen somewhere and, TWO: my mom is totally to blame for my grocery hoarding tendencies. OK, maybe not completely, but perhaps a little.

Curious about my husbands introduction to Mexican-inspired flavors, I asked what he ate growing up.

You guys, he ate THE SAME THING!

So, I'm curious, how many of you grew up eating LA VICTORIA® Brand Taco Sauce with your quesadillas and tacos?

Whether or not you have a two-decade long history with LA VICTORIA® Brand, one thing is for sure- The makers of LA VICTORIA® Brand have had a very long history. Since 1917, the iconic flavors of the LA VICTORIA® Brand have helped celebrate the creative culinary spirit of the West coast. 

To celebrate TURNING 100 the makers of LA VICTORIA® Brand are throwing some pretty awesome and obviously delicious dinners, including one coming up in SF and another in Portland!

How do I know it will be delicious?

Because I have prepared one of the recipes from the event FOR YOU!

I cooked, ate, and wished I had made extra.

Made with LA VICTORIA® Brand Cilantro Salsa Mild and LA VICTORIA® Brand Fire Roasted Chiles, these tacos were a HUGE hit. Bursting with unique Mexican inspired flavors, sweet summer fruit and creamy avocado, these tacos are GOOD. And the marinade is legit, you guys. If nothing else, make the marinade :)

Easy Summer Tacos with Orange Cherry Salsa

Recipe Creator: Chef Gustavo Romero || Photography and Styling: Jessica R.

Prep Time: 25 minutes | Cook Time: 10 minutes Total Time: 35-40 minutes Yield: 4-6 servings Category: Main Course, Meat, Sauce + Dip, Spring + Summer, Tacos

Ingredients

FOR THE ORANGE-CHERRY SALSA 1 orange, peeled and chopped 1/2 red onion, diced 4 ounces LA VICTORIA® Brand Fire Roasted Chiles 2 cups fresh cherries, pitted and diced 1 teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon black pepper 3 tablespoons lime juice

FOR THE MARINADE: 1/2 cup fresh orange juice 2 ounces lemon juice 2 ounces Extra Virgin Olive Oil 4 ounces Bran oil (or Olive oil) 1 shallot, diced 1 teaspoon garlic, minced 1 tablespoon cilantro, chopped 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1 teaspoon ground coriander 1 teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon fresh black pepper 1 pinch cayenne 2 ounces red wine vinegar

FOR THE AVOCADO MOUSSE: 1 ripe avocado 1 clove garlic, minced 1 teaspoon lemon juice 1/2 teaspoon salt **I suggest doubling the avocado mousse if serving more than 2-3 people

1 Jicama, peeled and chopped into matchsticks 12 ounces Duck Confit LA VICTORIA® Brand Cilantro Salsa Mild Corn or flour tortillas

Instructions

Orange Cherry Salsa: In mixing bowl, combine all ingredients and set aside.

Mexican Marinade: Mix vinegar, minced shallots, minced garlic and spices in a mixing bowl. Add orange and lemon juice until uniform. Stir oils and chopped fresh cilantro reserved. Stir well before use.

Avocado Mousse: Mix all ingredients together and adjust seasoning.

Putting it all Together:In a hot sauté pan with a little oil add duck confit and stir until hot, add Mexican marinade and set a side. Using a mandolin or a slicer, slice jicama into a thin slices. Set slices in a presentation plate. With a small spatula, smear avocado mousse into a jicama tortillas. Place hot duck confit on top of avocado mousse. Add LA VICTORIA® Salsa cilantro, orange and cherry salsa. Finish with cilantro leaves.

To learn more about:

LA VICTORIA® Brand Products click HERE

SF 100 Years of LA VICTORIA® Brand dinner event click HERE

#Sponsored #Oranges #Red Onion #La Victoria Brand #Fire Roasted Chiles #Cherries #Lime #Orange Juice #Shallot #Garlic #Cilantro #Cumin #Coriander #Cayenne Powder #Red Wine Vinegar #avocado #Duck #Meat #Jicama #Salsa #Tortillas #Tacos #Mexican #Summer

[gessvhowarth]

This London Chef Is Doing Spectacular Things With Pastry

Calum's pate en croute. Calum Franklin has become an Instagram star for his pastry skills, posting photos of stunning creations from the kitchen of Holborn Dining Room, where he's head chef. His pâté en croûte nearly broke the internet with its intricate patterns and two-coloured pastry. We went for a peek behind the scenes, to find out how he makes it.    "I've never actually trained in pastry," Calum explains, "I never wanted to be a pastry chef and a few years ago I thought it was a gap in my knowledge, so in my free time I started teaching myself a lot of stuff, and I found out it's something that I'm quite obsessive about. "I'm obsessed with patterns and that's why I find it interesting. It's also very relaxing, especially in a mad place like this to be able to do these kinds of crafty things, it's really nice." Beef Wellingtons. Calum explains how the pastry has really caught the attention of people online, "people are obsessed with pastry! Look at the Great British Bake Off, and you walk past Bread Ahead in Borough Market and there's just like, 100 people looking through the window, at some fat Polish guys, making sourdough. "I had five weeks off work recently because I had some surgery and sourdough was another gap in my knowledge, so I was like right, in this five weeks I'm going to nail some things down. I did it in quite an obsessive way, like I had 20 different starters from different people and different recipes and then did it methodically. I think the further you progress in your career as a chef the more you do that as well; you become more obsessive about small details as you go on." A recent batch of pork pies. We talk about his famous pâté en croûte — basically meat enclosed in pastry with a very savoury jelly on top — and we ask if he's considered entering it into Championnat du monde de Pâté Croûte, a competition in France. He has: "We're in the process now of trying to get in, for next year. There's never been a British person in the competition. "The French still have a view of British food and it's going to be very difficult to change that. Regardless of the fact that I think London is miles ahead of Paris on the restaurant scene but it's just ingrained in French people that British people can't cook." "I might have to change my name to something French. I think it's really funny the idea of a British guy entering the competition, trying to take them on, and I will do something ridiculously British. "We've already been thinking about what we'd do but that's all top secret… There's also some exciting things happening here next year, that we're developing. We're going to be pushing things forward a bit, creating more things like the grouse pithivier, the pâté en croûte, these old classical arts that have been lost in London. Calum crimps the pastry. "I think it's important for us in here to teach the young kids how to do it. Because it's cool! As a chef, the first time you cut something like that it's hugely satisfying. The first time we got the pithivier right — because it took a few times to get it perfectly pink — I remember looking at the other chefs and we were all grinning." High tech pen lid technique. We talk about his other pastry creations, "The pork pies I did for somebody else, as a favour, but they actually came out alright so we'll probably do those in the deli. It's hard to hand raise a pie. People who make pork pies have generally been doing it for a long time, that's what I realised. Beef wellington goes back to when I was at Roast in Borough Market, we did a good one there and when we opened here, after like, a year and we'd settled the kitchen I said 'right, it's about time we put a wellington on; I want us to try and do the best one in London but I also want to put it at a price where it's accessible to people.' The pastry is decorated. "It's one of the greatest achievements of British cooking, and I want people to come to London, to visit and to be able to eat something like that and go away with a good image of what we do. So that's why we make it accessible here — it's £26 with roast potatoes. That's still expensive but for what you get — I will lose money every time we sell it but it's worth it. "It takes three days from start to finish, we cut the duxelles by hand so when you're doing it on a big scale, for 200-300 guests, that’s a lot of chopping. On a Sunday, all you hear in the kitchen is the sound of all the chefs chopping mushrooms." Foil tubes stop the fat from bubbling over and burning on top of the pastry. It's mesmerising to watch Franklin making the pâté en croûte, calmly and methodically shaping as the kitchen buzzes around him. "The black pastry is coloured with cuttlefish ink, and I cut the shapes and lay them in the side of the tin, then when the other pastry is laid on top and filled, the black pastry gets pushed into the side, creating the pattern. As it cooks it melds together as one." Calum with the finished pastry. "Then we’ve got some pancetta, then inside that is the farce, which is bronze turkey from Wales, smoked bacon then down the middle — originally we were doing foie gras and then I was like, it's not really a British thing. So then I thought let's do sage and onion stuffing. The stuffing is like a boudin, almost like a mousse which is made with turkey breast, egg white, double cream, sage and onion. It’s formed into a sausage shape in cling film, then poached."   We watch him add the lid, carefully crimping the edges with his fingers before going around again, tidying it up to make it perfect. Franklin then makes holes using… a pen lid. He laughs, "Yeah people think I’ve got all these special tools but actually it's just this pen lid. "I’m quite ghetto with the techniques sometimes, so I use on pen for the holes, and another for the pattern on top. It's the Holborn Dining Room pen that we give to the guests. Cross section. "It was a relief working out how to do it," he tells me, of part of the design. I asked French chefs how to do it, and no one would tell me. They’re really secretive about it and eventually this one guy, who lives in Montreal in Canada said 'OK I'll tell you, but you're not allowed to tell anyone. So obviously I've told loads of people!" he laughs, "knowledge is for sharing."

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