#now i’m scared to do anything

[icefireanimates]

my mom trys to keep me away from the internet because of things she wants to explain to me.

but.

news flash.

you’d been slowly losing my trust for a while. 2020 was just when the last of it had withered away.

why the fuck would i ask you anything important again.

#vent #i fucking hate her. #and not just “i’m 14 i’m rebellious.” #she’s traumatized me #i don’t trust her #shes made me hide who i am and then asked why #she’s never explained why things are bad to me #only scolded me for doing them #now i’m scared to do anything #im scared to make a noise too loud in my own room #i’m scared of speaking to her #speaking to her makes me have a near panic attack everytime #she doesn’t know she’s hurt me in more ways then helped. #and i’m too scared to tell her because she’ll brush it off as “you’re 14 ofc you’re like this” #i don’t know man.

[ratcorner]

[ID. A digital painting of the Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared protagonists falling into a convoluted spiral. In the center are the antagonists, intruding upon the scene. The canvas is crowded with images of the Teachers and the house. End ID.]

:•)

#HIIII THIS IS EMBARRASSING BUT I WAS RLLY INTO THE WEB SERIES IN 2014 AND NOW IM UNEXPECTEDLY OBSESSED W THE SHOW #i kno this is kind of a tes centric acc but icant think of anything other than this show abt gay ass puppets. sory #artcorner #dhmis #don’t hug me i’m scared #dhmis spoilers #dhmis art #eye strain #had a realy fun time doing this!! i used a new lining brush and tried being more loose . i like it :-] #red guy #yellow guy #duck guy #dhmis lesley #dhmis roy #i shoudl animate this. put a little movemennt in there.. #HEY THIS GOT REALLY FUCKED UP IN SOME OF THE RBS I AM SORRY. I HATE YOU TUMBLR FORMATTING #the source post is still good!!! there’s just a janky one going around rn..

[dumbponyboykinnie]

i feel like johnny’s feelings to dally aren’t talked about enough and it’s so not fair. his feelings are more than just hero worshipping dally, he understands him and cares about him as much as dally cares for johnny. he doesn’t idolise him, he never did, he knows his good AND bad sides and accepts both, and he sees the real dally. and when johnny understands that there was actually something good in the world, he wants dally to know it, he wants him to see beauty in his life too and to start loving it, even if it’s too late for johnny himself, because he knows that it’s what dally always needed. and he understands dally, so he also knows that dally will never be able to do it himself, he knows that he’s too tough to cope with johnny’s death, and here johnny can’t help him, so he asks ponyboy to do it instead. everything johnny wanted is to make dally happy, his last wish was to make him live.

i know it looks like it’s written by a 5yo im sorry for having b1 english level

hope it makes sense at least

#thats pretty obvious maybe #to be honest #i don’t know what i’ve written rn it’s 2 am ive slept for 3 hours #and i’m gonna post it now and i won’t fix anything because if i do i’ll fix it forever and eventually become scared to post #but i mean everything i said #the outsiders #sorry if you read this #johnny cade #the outsiders johnny #dallas winston #jally #johnny x dally

[why-the-heck-not]

computer science was a hoax from the universe to get me to study math in the pretense of ”hehe coding’s cool look at all these things u can do” *some mf vectors looming just around the corner* ”noNO dont look there; look here!! It’s ’hello world’ but in green heheh wOoOoo now it’s blue !! u are a god of this website” *matrices sharpening their knives somewhere*

#idk whY I’m going to the mathematical side of things #it’s ME who chooses the thesis topic #so could we maybe do without vectors MAYBE PERHAPS #(i dont like vectors. when we learned them at school I looked at them went ’’well I’ll never use this’’ and now look where we are #I owe my highschool math teacher’s an apology like oh no sometimes u do use vectors) #(I’m scared I’ll somehow choose a too difficult topic and make this impossible for myself) #(but also like I’m not MAKING anything from scratch; I’m just reading articles & writing from there (tho gotta have some own thoughts there #also I think?)) #(if I was smart I would’ve chosen this abt something I already know something abt instead of ’’I wanna see if I could like this’’) #(but alas im not) #codeblr #january 2024 #2024

[iistardust-and-sprinklesii]

💛 Head Over Heels 🩷

#some postgame kuzusouda for the soul <3 #some people only ever draw their favorite ships #meanwhile i’ve never drawn these two together before #because i’m always afraid i won’t do them justice 😭 #also #while i love the headcanon that kaz goes back to his natural hair color after the simulation #consider this: #now that there’s no one around to judge him #he can experiment with as many piercings haircuts and dyes as he wants #(don’t ask how he gets them maybe it’s the future foundation idk hajime can do anything so he helps lmao) #maybe he keeps it black later on maybe not #but he at least has the confidence to wear glasses again #(all of this is coming from me being a pathetic souda kinnie) #(he’s my mannequin for all the body modifications i’m too scared to get) #kuzusouda #kazuichi soda #kazuichi souda #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #danganronpa #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa 2 goodbye despair #goodbye despair #sdr2 #danganronpa fanart #fanart #fanart digital #digital art #art #drawing #my art

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

My brain is silly 🤪 it goes “what if hemlock shoots cross when he reunites with omega”

Send help 😭😭😭

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb crosshair #tbb omega #it’s over for me guys #I’m so scared for the finale #Jennifer don’t do anything silly now

[animalsandskyyy]

being homeschooled means not being able to feel normal or at ease when interacting with peers.

it means never learning how to casually text or speak within groups of people.

it means being great with authority figures or people you deem above or more adult than you, but being completely unable to communicate with anyone your age you'd want to be friends with.

it means desperately wanting to befriend people you've met in life and follow online but failing to do so, and then having every time you see them cause you to grieve the possibility of a friendship with them because you desperately want it but know you're incapable of it.

it means being severely behind in pop culture and not really being mad at that, but still knowing that it causes an even further divide.

it means going from being extremely mature as a teenager to being extremely behind in a social life in your twenties.

#just my personal experience #having the yearly ‘i’m so completely alone and don’t have anyone to do anything with irl’ meltdown lol #and just learned my family is going to be out of town for like the rest of the month #and so I have no one to do anything with now #you’d think i’d be better at this by now but nope lol #I even joined a discord server by someone who made a tiktok about having a hard time making actual friends #and so everyone is there with that shared struggle and trying to make friends #but I can’t even talk there bc i’m so completely clueless on how to interact in group chat type things and group settings #and get too scared to send anything ahd I take so long to type one message bc I have to think about it and reread it 20 times #it doesn’t help that I feel like i’ve always been like 40 years old mentally and just don’t understand the things people my age like to do #but anyways #grace is dramatic

[itspileofgoodthings]

my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.

#I know it’s not true but sometimes I feel like if I didn’t have anxiety I would not suffer at all #which. again. is false #but there’s a lot of things I don’t want in this life and a lot of things I am not scared of and a lot of things I just accept #and like. It’s FINE #but all my suffering from anxiety stays in one fixed flame of sheer agony #and it’s hard because I don’t shake like a chihuahua in the corner of my bedroom #unable to move or function #I’m always doing things and functioning and joking at parties and (generally) saying the right thing #but it’s all located in one corner in the middle of my mind attacking my ability to make judgments and live with my decisions peacefully #like an unseen wound #and the distance i feel it puts between me and other people #is one of the most painful things #just several sheets of frosted glass between me and them #and sometimes the worst it gets is when I can bear it without breaking down and so I just do and I just keep functioning #and the cold just creeps in and everything goes kind of numb! #tbh now that I think about it this might be why I often think of myself as a person with no desires or ambitions or dreams #or impetus or forward motion or anything #because I DO want things and have opinions and the exist in flashes. But also they’re buried deep under several layers of protective apathy #so they’re not stable. I drop them many times. forget them ignore them imagine that they aren’t there. I’m sorry I’m rambling I’m FINE #actually when I talk about it that’s how you know I’m doing okay with it #when I can’t talk about it and am half-heartedly going through the motions #that’s the problem #anyway whew. thanks for listening sorry for all the self-reflection etc. etc. etc.

[frostybirdgoddess]

Darius and Ben in Chaos Theory but… make Darius relive the trauma of losing Ben.

#Darius breaking down in the moment #his vision keeps flickering between past and present #between that anxious germaphobe Darius met six years ago and his friend that he just got back #Darius is older now- stronger- #but so is Ben #and deep down Darius knows he can’t pull Ben back up and he *will not* let him go #he’s sobbing #reliving one of the worst moments of his life and he can’t do anything to change the outcome #meanwhile Ben- #is reliving one of the scariest moments of *his* life- but it’s different now. he’s not scared. he can use what are quite possibly #his last moments to comfort his friend so that maybe Darius can forgive *himself* #bc good hearted Darius would blame himself- just like he did before #so ben offers a hopefully comforting smile- for the rushing air is too loud for words to be made out- #and Ben wrenches himself out of Darius’s grip and his only thought as the ground comes rushing at him is that he hopes Darius will be okay #LISTEN I just need parallels #I’m so excited for chaos theory you don’t understand #jwct #ben pincus #darius bowman

[jester-step]

i started watching fantasy high and i’m worried my attachment to fabian aramais seacaster is going to be the death of me

#ep 1 i was convinced adaine was going to be my fave #7 episodes in i have an unhealthy obsession with fabian and riz #i’m aware s3 is coming out right now and i’m scared for my kids #i’ve only had them for a week but if anything happened to them i would kill everyone in this room and then myself #dimension 20 #fantasy high #lou wilson i do NOT fucking trust you #keep my boy safe and happy do you hear me #also i started misfits and magic……… #brennan lee mulligan you were sent from hell to kill me. #you can’t just play the saddest wet cat of a boy and expect me not to get attached #dream is so real for that

[olgunny]

BUH

#these are so old #I want to kill the old rick in the second one he’s the reason I never posted this but I wanted too for so long dumb mother fucker. #old rick is so hard he’s so hard to draw I wish I could do it I’d be so annoying and terrible if I could you don’t understand #but these aren’t really anything anyway. they are for fun but I refused to post them if they weren’t together #I need to be more active but I’m scared. I’m drunk right now though so it’s okay(for rn) #god these really are old though. #like almost two years ? #i’m not me right now so i’m just saying fuck it two tears in the bucket and posting it #the top one is more important #I genuinely only think about the same like seven lisa characters i’m so sorry #going on four years strong #‘new’ job sucking the life out of me #wah #lisa rpg #richard weeks #ricks character has done such irreparable damage to me #not in the fun way im in hell #he’s my betty boop #IM GOING to play sonic generations now goodbaba maybe sonic unleashed(wii) goodbye #I can’t draw I do this to keep my mind sedated sorry #maybe sonic maina #HAPPY 5AM!!!!!!!!!! #:)

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly. #if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know??? #but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

[catastrxblues]

i’ve finally finished it thank god. physics, you and i have a very toxic relationship that we need to fix asap.

#i don’t have the energy to celebrate but yay i guess 😭 #thank you for bridgerton s2 for keeping me company haha #is it weird that i’m contemplating to just read until 5 am came around #so like no sleep #but i’m scared if i go to sleep now i’ll oversleep #no i’m talking crazy #but like ugh it’s tempting because i can’t seem to do anything productive during the day anymore #you know what never mind #ignore this #anyways #physics #nadirants

[werebutch]

Once I actually have more experience cooking I’ll stop documenting every single thing but I love learning new recipes it’s so fulfilling and fun and also pretty much everything ever is new to me so I love setting goals to cook things during the week..and I love cooking for other people.. soo fun..

#the only thing I’m scared of is deep frying it freaks me out and also so much oil waste..come on now.. #but other than that. I will do anything. LOL

[freefolkfightorflight]

Making soup.

I put away some laundry

Answered a phone call.

Need to go to dmv 🙄 dreading it bad. Need to just try to make it happen tomorrow but it’s iffy with everything closing. Gotta get the kids by 11 from school.

I know this sounds like nothing but it’s a lot for me right now. I’m overwhelmed and weepy and struggling somethin fierce. But god damn this broth is exquisite.

#It’s really hard having just one person in your whole life. #I want a family sob #I need a mom and dad #siblings #I need help and it’s non existent #I don’t know what I’m going to do #re car #driving my bfs but I hate it bc I’m so scared I’ll mess it up somehow #it’s too tall for me and I can barely reach the pedals #I’m so scared of literally life right now and I’m not sure how to function in society #I’m drowning #I can’t afford a new car #I can’t afford anything #how do people make it? #my bf got me groceries so I’m not utterly desolate #the language culture barrier is real though #I’m lucky I’m not dead #I know that #but I’m in a head space where I wish I had atleast been placed in a coma for like a year 😳😫 #I know it’s awful #I’m not going to hurt myself.

[goatsghost]

something i find interesting about the jason-wanting-the-joker-dead analyses is if bruce (or anyone) actually did avenge him and all the other people hurt, and actually kill the joker now, would he even be satisfied?

he’d wonder what changed, why now, why did it take this long, after that’s all he’s wanted for years now. he’s given into compromise after compromise until he’s “part of the family” again, but now they finally kill the joker? it would feel like a slap in the face almost. or at least it’d be something to be suspicious over

idk. just. an interesting thought

#i’m sure there’s always a part of him that wants the joker dead; but he wouldn’t do it himself #otherwise he’d be dead in canon now #not bc he’s scared of the joker or anything; he’s beaten him to a pulp enough times; he’s fine #but he wants someone to CARE about him in the way he wants them to ! #(if only he knew that bruce TRIED! dick DID! but it’s comics so obviously the joker can’t stay dead #mine #ggw liveblog #jason todd #bruce wayne #joker