#I don’t know what I’m going to do

[copepods]

i seriously don’t know how i’m going to make it through college my executive dysfunction is so fucking bad. adhd all fun and games until i’m physically incapable of thinking about schoolwork

#text #and like i want to drop the art major because i want to do art for just myself not for class. but also #art is the only type of work i can actually get done #i don’t know what i’m going to do

[freefolkfightorflight]

Making soup.

I put away some laundry

Answered a phone call.

Need to go to dmv 🙄 dreading it bad. Need to just try to make it happen tomorrow but it’s iffy with everything closing. Gotta get the kids by 11 from school.

I know this sounds like nothing but it’s a lot for me right now. I’m overwhelmed and weepy and struggling somethin fierce. But god damn this broth is exquisite.

#It’s really hard having just one person in your whole life. #I want a family sob #I need a mom and dad #siblings #I need help and it’s non existent #I don’t know what I’m going to do #re car #driving my bfs but I hate it bc I’m so scared I’ll mess it up somehow #it’s too tall for me and I can barely reach the pedals #I’m so scared of literally life right now and I’m not sure how to function in society #I’m drowning #I can’t afford a new car #I can’t afford anything #how do people make it? #my bf got me groceries so I’m not utterly desolate #the language culture barrier is real though #I’m lucky I’m not dead #I know that #but I’m in a head space where I wish I had atleast been placed in a coma for like a year 😳😫 #I know it’s awful #I’m not going to hurt myself.

[floral-hex]

Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.

lol it’s underwater 🐠

#ugggghhhhh so sad #like genuinely I think my therapist rocks #he’s the best one I’ve ever had. nice and cool but no BS and just harsh enough to push me #I feel like such a baby for saying it but literally the number one thing I’ve wanted these last few weeks was to go to therapy #I had to skip my last appointment so I haven’t seen him in weeks #between my mom’s organ transplant and driving back and forth to see her everyday and taking care of my bros aaand super suicidal birthday #I’m just… I’m tired. I want to vent. I just want to spill my guts for an hour and maybe cry a lot #and I can’t do that with anyone else. I know that’s dumb to say #I 100% can’t complain to my family because ya know I gotta be strong and they don’t need me being a burden #and I love my mutuals but I don’t know any of you anywhere well enough to feel comfortable venting #I mean. y’all can vent to me all day. I’ll gladly listen to you talk about yourselves. I’m here for it. I just can’t do it myself 😕 #I’m so tired and anxious and I don’t want to really get into the self harm talk but I’ve had some serious self destructive thoughts lately #I don’t know what I’m going to do #I have to believe it’ll get better #because if I don’t believe that then… what’s the point? #also.. I’m really fucking lonely. just to throw that out there. if you can’t tell by my reblogs. #I am like desperately and ravenously lonely and full of longing #and you add that to everything else it’s just the sad little cherry on top… #now I want an ice cream sundae… mmmm…. #I need 1000 hugs and to sit with someone and maybe get fucked up and complain and sit in silence and and and blegh #but that’s life. it’ll be… it’ll be whatever it is. #sorry. this is a bit too heavy for this time of morning #I’ve been sick. really bad vertigo and vomiting and I’m just wiped out and sad #but I love you stranger or at least I like you enough to be okay with you reading this #okay be safe #goodbye forever #text

[d1zzypaw]

My life is only ever gonna get harder and I wasn’t even good at it when it was easy

#txt #vent #I don’t know what I’m going to do

[thatdamnokie]

weaponizing my fictional faves by making them the mean voice in my head

#personal #uh tags #fictional faves #fictional crushes #fictional others #f/os #f/o #have you ever been reamed in a voice that you’ve turned to for comfort before #i don’t recommend it #i’d say send help but i won’t listen to or respect it #tbh #anyway #i don’t feel good most of the time #and it shows #i don’t know what i’m going to do

[lizardmonet]

the apartment search is going so badly and i feel so hopeless. i’m exhausted, i can’t concentrate on anything, my jaw is always tense, and i have no appetite.

#i don’t know what i’m going to do #i’m so scared and lost #im trying not to cry at work right now #i have three tours scheduled this saturday but all of the places have bad reviews #and the decent looking ones don’t reply to my emails or return my calls #personal

[lillyspam]

Y’all wait…..

Ohio state just put me on there waitlist.

And they have a better schooling for psychology than Duke.

If I get in……

Oh Jesus.

#anyways…… #I don’t know what I’m going to do

[mirimage]

Well.

#miri shut up challenge #I don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling #my partner broke up with me #we’ve been together for 6 years #he says he still wants to be friends but #if it comes down to it my whole friend group is probably better friends with him #I’ve always kinda been the odd one out #I don’t know what I’m going to do #I don’t think I’m okay #sad boy hours

[soaheadofthecurve]

my boss just texted me saying she is transferring me back to the old store and i’ll be working with my mom again and i’m so fucking sad i can’t do this. this wasn’t supposed to happen i’ve barely been at this new store for a month i was finally getting better and feeling okay again and she does this

#i’m so heartbroken #i cant do this #i want to quit #i never ever wanted to go back to that other store the moment i was able to get away i ran as fast as i could #none of this is fair #why wouldn’t my boss even call me? #she just texted it like it was the most casual thing in the world #in august when i was still at that store i was so fucking depressed #i don’t want to go back #i don’t want to work for her at all #i don’t know what i’m going to do

[romansmartini]

hey guys if you’re planning on making a vaguepost on the dashboard can you message me with the details and some of the lore behind the vague post you’re making. a vaguepost for the dash and a detailedpost for me. because i like to know what’s going on. if you do this i will automatically take your side because you’ve done the right thing by letting me know what’s up. thanks in advance ❤️

#jillian.txt #believe it or not there is not an active vagueposting situation happening so you don’t have to worry i’m doing the vagueposting here #100% serious about this btw i will keep your secrets and hype you up. i just like to know what’s going on

[mctwilight-mcd]

Do you ever just get like… a trigger for your pain?

Like I was sitting at lunch and something accidentally hit me on a sensitive spot on my knee and that just made everything go AHHHHHHHHH

I left my pain meds at home and I’m regretting it and I can’t get something from other people because what I use is prescribed.

I also have a dress rehearsal till 6 or 7 today and I’m not having it

#twily rambles #chronic pain is a bitch #I don’t know what I’m going to do #I’m sitting down rn and it still hurts

[averytirednerd]

#bro is going through it #also what a drama queen #yes a separate photo dump for Al was 100% necessary #I am very normal about him wdym #hazbin hotel #hazbin #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel screenshots #my post #I’m so sorry to the person who was asking about image descriptions #I don’t know how to do that #aaaaa please forgive me

[guesswhattimeitis]

-

#I am once again considering deleting all social media #and all evidence of my presence online #but I’m afraid it might be too late to achieve what I want to achieve with that deletion #so it would be a lot of work without any certainty that I’m getting the results I want #if my irl name is in a database somewhere with linking aspects of my online persona #surely those won’t go away #and if someone used that information against me in the future then perhaps it’s already too late #I haven’t made a decision yet #I’ve been here 10 years and I don’t want to leave #but it’s getting scary to be trans in the US #I don’t know if my tumblr is connected to my irl identity #or if it could be used against me to target me for being trans in the future #but I’m getting scared #and I’m scared it’s too late anyways #anyways #I don’t know what I’m going to do

[wistful-melancholy]

P.S.A: I wouldn’t recommend trying to push through burnout, because however behind you feel you are now, it’s going to be even worse when you become paralyzed due to not letting yourself take a break (take it from me 🤡)

#just ranting #rant #burnout #academic burnout #why am i like this #i don’t know what i’m going to do

[transsexualprions]

Hm. So. I’m not going to Michigan after all. They’re not picking me up.

#I don’t know what I’m going to do #I’ll have to figure something else out #wv situation

[paradoxicalloop]

I might not make it through this year if it kills me guys

#vent #I am dying #this is the fucking worst #why couldn’t you have told me a week ago you bastrds???? #or even a few days ago. before I started counting down. before I got before 10 days #below* #I was so *excited* #itsconnertime #oh my god it’s hnery Emily #meow #pouncey #we have to coparent pouncey now #I don’t know what I’m going to do #I can’t be locked in this stupid fucking house all day anymore I don’t know what to do #this was the only thing I had #I can’t do this I don’t #I don’t have any other friends I don’t want to be the only one not in school #I don’t want to be an outsider in the group #I don’t want u to be alone #I know u have other friends here but man I’m really worried for u #FUCK #I don’t understand why it had to be like this #I loved my time here so so much and I wouldn’t trade it for anything bc it has been the most free and happy I’ve felt in such a long time #but if I didn’t go in the first place then none of this pain would have happened #:((((( #I don’t wish it didn’t happen I really don’t but it hurts so much #I don’t know what to do #I haven’t cried this hard in so long I haven’t #I’m so sorry