#now i really forgot what its supposed to be lmfao

[cheemken]

Another thing about Drayton that I've latched onto is his line about how 'you don't want to see me ugly cry' when you battle him. It makes me wonder how he'd cry exactly.

I'm torn between two types. One is that he's the sort to get really quiet when he cries. Just suppressing it full force, shoulders shaking and tears just sliding down his face. In private too cause it's not cool to be caught like that, and maybe he'd grab a pillow or something to muffle sobs but after like 5-10 mins, it's like a switch flipped. He calms down, washes his face and proceeds with his day normally. Sidesteps any and all questions about why his eyes look red rimmed and puffy.

Another is that he is an ugly crier. Just full on sobbing, snot and tears going down his face. Trying to wipe away but it just keeps coming. Kinda lashing out at people who try to get close or comfort him. He hates feeling this way, hates having others see him like this but it's just too much to pretend that he's fine right now. When he's calmed down, just rough scrubs to his face and then quick exit, ignoring people calling out to him.

Now what would make him cry like that is the big question haha

Oh bet he represses everything, and I mean every single thing lmfaoo

But I also imagine him being a mix of both in a way, like, he doesn't show it to anyone else ofc, he would never ever cry in public, that's so uncool in his words, but once he's alone it just,, it's a gradual thing, it builds up y'know, it's like the feeling of anxiety, where your chest feels tight and your throat feels dry and you can feel every nerve in your body almost pulsing just beneath your skin, and suddenly every little problem starts to pile up on him, until it reaches its peak and he just,,, tears up, tries to stop them, trying so hard, so hard he's trying so hard why can't they see that I'm trying and until he starts to really ugly cry, like, his chest hurts y'know, broken sobs echo within the room as he tries so hard to calm himself down, until his pokemon come out to try and calm him, until he lashes out on them, until he falls to his knees, falls to the floor, his Dragonite nuzzling close to him, hoping it's enough comfort without really hugging him, without having to risk him panicking again from being held too tight

And they wait for him y'know, wait till he's the one reaching out for them, wait till he's the one clinging to his pokemon, holding them tight, closer, impossibly closer, at least they won't leave him

Ofc, his process is still slow, after his tears were shed, he'd just,,, sit there or lie down and look up at the ceiling, letting the last remnants of his tears to fall before he takes a deep breath, let's it out, and sits upright again, chuckling to himself, saying shit like "well, that was something, huh?" And after he makes sure he looks presentable, he goes on his day as if he didn't just cry for almost thirty minutes

Low-key tho but other than being compared to his fam, I think his academic record would kinda haunt him, cause like yeah, he knows he's a strong trainer, he has no doubts with that, but he knows he's struggling w class and while he's so chill abt it, repeating his school year kinda messed with him a bit. Maybe that, and maybe the whispers abt him too ofc, how he knows other people doubt if he really wants to be a Dragon Master like Drayden and Iris, he is from a family of Dragon Masters, so why isn't he making more of an effort to become one? Idk but yeah hahaha

#speaking of i was supposed to post smth last night abt dray and iris too but i got so tired i forgot cbndnd #now i really forgot what its supposed to be lmfao #but damn tho w his cool kid persona he really gives off dave vibes hahah #idk its just that i know despite how he is he cares a bit too much but never ever shows it #bc emotions will only hurt you more yknow so he keeps it all in #idk i think that while hes good at hiding his emotions hes so shit at handling them #like w kieran he knows itd mess w kieran if he gets beaten again by the player #and how kieran doesnt like being called ex champ anymore as hes apologizing to drayton #but idk i think hed be the type to hold grudges bc yeah hes shit at handling emotions #he means well yknow its all fun and games for him #but sometimes payback is payback. and for him payback is fair #pokemon hcs #an ask and an answer #anon

[bliss4boo]

Texting 💬

texting with gf Ellie

LMFAO IDK WHY IM MAKING THIS BUT WTV

———————————————————————— baby

babyyyy

BABYYYY

WHAT??

ELLIE ITS 3 AM WTF?

I just wanted to tell you...

I love you😞

What do you want😐

Well if you must ask...

I was wondering if you wanted to come play Fortnite with me tomorrow😝

don't ever text me again

what

Baby

Baby!?

WHAT UR JOKING RN

————————————————————————

hey my love

my pookie

my sugar bear with sprinkles on top

who is this?

um...the love of your life😅

Ohh.

Now I remember why you're blocked

————————————————————————

Um baby

Where are you

huh

what???

Our movie date?

We're watching Jurassic Park🥵

ew

and we are?

I forgot

Hey!

Don't ew me?!

AND COME OVER RN TF?

mb

I forgot I'm a magnet to the girls😻

stfu

but ur not wrong

now come here 

so I can show you my Jurassic park🦕

restraining order now

————————————————————————

Ellie!

Ellie Williams!

Els?

Babyyyy!!

Yes?

So you answer to baby🤦‍♀️

I'm just a girl🎀

stfu

I need help

huh what's wrong??

What planet orbits the slowest?

I need it for homework🙏

Well according to my vast knowledge about this subject...I suppose the answer would be Neptune. It orbits once around the sun about every 165 years. 

you're so annoying😐

but you love me😍

right?

Yes baby

good

now come over so I can help you with your homework😣

please?

Okay okay 

I'm coming rn

coming😅

STFU UR NOT FUNNY

————————————————————————

Do you ever think about how small we are?

Like there's probably billions of other planets and people.

We're just a small part of it.

There's probably other things out there wondering if there's other life out there!!

I wish I could meet a real dinosaur.

Mhm

I wish I could go live on Saturn

And you're already a fucking dinosaur

with me right?

and rude

Of course

We could start our own life and population on Saturn🤫

you know what

now that I think of it

earth doesn't seem that bad😍

hey

that's bullysome

————————————————————————

Aww Ellie that’s actually so sweet??

I'm suprised tbh

Hey!!

I'm very sweet all the time😡

Really?

I couldn't tell

Babyyy

do you really think I'm not sweet?

No I'm just joking

I think you're purr-fect😻

I love you

like so much

I love you too

now come over before I change my mind

————————————————————————

Ellie?

Yea

What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?

My dick

Gum!

Get your mind out of the gutter😢

Okay

That was funny

I'm craving gum nowwww

Come over and I'll give you some

okay!

wait...?

#ellie williams #tlou2 #wlw #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #lesbian #sapphic #the last of us #ellie williams fluff #Ellie Williams text #ellie williams x you

[babybinko]

My second batch of venture bros genderbends are finally done! :D [first set here]

PLEASE LOOK UNDER THE CUT!!! I made all these nice drawings and doodles of them and I want people to see them without this post being super long! :') [My thoughts on the designs and doodles will be under the cut as well]

Okay NOW I'm going talk about my thought process on some of these:

Baby Rusty: I love the baby Rusty, the frilly socks and sleeves were a must. I actually drew her with the original set of genderbends but I turned off her layer and forgot about her 💀

Jonas Jr: not much to say about her, I tried to make her like Rosie the Riveter. Her little bandana has the Venture logo on it :)

Jonas Sr: I wanted her to be a hot bitch, her outfit is maybe a little scandalous for the time era they were in but I think it fits, canon Jonas is a whore. I think everybody would want her and that every celebrity, politician, and anybody with any power would chase after her so badly.

Blue Morpho: I made her so incredibly slay. I fucking love her outfit, I found the inspo for the outfit on Pinterest but I changed it up a bit. Also her gun has the bayonetta butterfly wings on it as a charm because I HAD TO.

Colonel Gentleman: Not a lot to say, I wanted to give her like horse riding esque boots and I gave her a purple flower cause she likes the ladies. I know generally WLW flowers are Violets and Lavender but I wanted to draw a rose so, Purple rose compromise <3

Dr.Boyfriend 2: With my last round Dr.Boyfriend was the only one people had complaints with. I think people wished he was more Masculine and I agree but if I switched up the design too much it wouldn't look like Dr.Girlfriend. I hope giving him armor and making him look like a knight helped him look more masc. I made the sheer wings cross over his chest to make it look like it was holding up the shoulder armor. Also his guild book is insanely high quality because I was procrastinating drawing his armor.

Goofy and Goober (Watch and Ward): I think they ended up really cute, I tried to make their hair colors close to Doc and Jacksons since I heard they are supposed to be like their "main" self inserts. With Ward I had a really specific idea for her hair, I kept thinking about this haircut from my sims and had to do it. It might be hard to see but her ponytail holders have skull charms on them. I also purposely gave them both some sort of ponytail hairstyle so they would match but be slightly different :) (They are absolutely prank calling or trolling their clients on that phone btw)

Shoreleave: OH MY GOD I LOVE SHORELEAVE. I kept turning her folder back on just to keep looking at her when I was drawing the other characters. She is so captivating to me, she looks so soft and human. I want to take a bite out of her thigh. My biggest inspo for her was Cammy from Street Fighter, I felt like her dressing a bit skimpy works for her since canon Shoreleave kinda does. The girls out for the girls.

Alchemist: I love her design so much too. I wanted her to look like some kind of nun or priestess. She looks like if a Zelda fire temple was a person. I kinda gave her like a weird little hime cut under the hood. Also I put the Triad logo on all three of their designs (+ Triana).

Jefferson: Had a lot of fun with her, I didnt change her design much from canon though so there's not much to say. I did give her more flared pants though. Drawing her hair was a really fun change of pace, I very rarely get to draw textured hair.

College Rusty and Monarch Drawing: I love this one, Monarch turned out so hot dude. You can tell what character I like more LMFAO. I made rusty very obnoxious 80s while keeping the colors of the original college rusty outfit. Monarch kind of looks like postal dude but its fine because shes slay.

Hereditary Venture Family Dinner Drawing: This was one of the first drawings I started but the second to last one I finished. I wanted to draw the family doing something together but I think I really truly just wanted to draw Dermott again. 😭 Nobody has said anything if they noticed but I did give hatred the shirt from these edits. (I believe the one on the left is from reddit and the one on the right is by SquashFold on Twitter)

Dermott piercing Dean's ears drawing: Even though its messy its in the top 3 favorites I did, It was also the last one I did. I just love the idea of Dermott giving goth Dean at home ear piercings. At first I didn't know if I wanted to make Dermott giving her piercings at the mall where she works or at home but the mall idea was too much work for a last minute sketch. Dermott is so mean older sister who shoplifts and works at the mall.

Drug bathroom drawing: Another one of my favorites, its based off a specific deleted scene from Invisible Hand of Fate where Pete and Rusty talk at the bar but Pete comes out of the bathroom sniffling at the start. I love the way I drew Pete pushing the hair out of her face and both of their expressions.

Bdsm 21 drawing: Okay first of all, The little devil Monarch was so cute I was screaming, crying, and throwing up while drawing her. I fucking love her, shes the smallest part of the image but my favorite. I also am quite fond of the bdsm 21.

Quizgirls Pete and Billy: I tried looking up Vanna White dresses to base Pete's outfit off of but I couldn't find one that Pete would actually wear so I just had to make shit up. Billy's design is really basic but the bow in her hair is actually from one of my rejected main Billy genderbends.

Me and The Bestie: I put a lot of effort into this one for no reason. Literally the moment I saw Jonas in the problem machine I thought he should be made of like blue slime. When I was working on this I kept thinking about Momopatchi's Hatsune Microbe drawing so this Jonas was definitely inspired by that. I gave Jonas makeup because she was having a party movie night on gargantua and I felt like she would still have makeup on thats like completely fucked up and deteriorating on her face after many many years. Vendata's outfit was partially based on Marguerite Chapman's from Flight to Mars, never seen it but I was looking up old sci-fi movie costumes to work with and I thought it would look good :)

#venture bros #the venture bros #my art #rusty venture #jonas venture sr #blue morpho #jefferson twilight #alchemist venture bros #colonel gentleman #shoreleave #jonas venture jr #dr.gf #dr. girlfriend #dr mrs the monarch #watch and ward #watch and ward venture bros #the monarch #henchman 21 #gary fischer #pete white venture bros #pete white #billy quizboy #dr girlfriend #vbros #billy whalen #vendata #dermott venture bros #dermott fictel #genderbend #genderswap

[bokuroskitten]

᯽⸱៰ ͘ ࣭⸰ 𖥔 ͙ࣳ Unlikely Trinity 1.5

warnings: 18+ NSFW CONTENT, MINORS DNI, poly relations, Hanma x Draken x Reader, fem body reader, feminine pet names “princess, babygirl”, punishment, BD//SM elements/dynamics, handcuffs, tape/pantie gag, use of a vibrator, overstimulation, daddy kink, very brief nipple play, humiliation/degradation (hanma's part, calls reader a whore, little bitch, etc), oral (hanma gives draken head), dacryphilia, one clit slap, cum play, passing out due to overstim, aftercare and fluff at the end

word count: 3.6k (lol😅)

authors note: We’ll call this Unlikely Trinity 1.5 because it takes place in the same universe,,, originally this was going to be a drabble yall, and then all the sudden I started writing and couldn't stop. I just had to keep adding LMFAO. The original HC was about hanma's punishment and Draken walking in on it but I just had to add more and build up the slow relationship between the three of them. There's more to come after this, I have so many ideas for this trio LMFAO, but I'm forcing myself to put them on the back burner for now cause I'm behind on collabs LMFAO. anyway, enjoy <3 lemme know if I missed any warnings. Comments, Feedback and Reblogs are greatly appreciated. <3

Edit: OH I forgot I was suppose to write unlikely trinity pt. 2 for @kazuwhora Pride Collab— so uh here take this as an entry plz baby GJRHSJS <3333

There are no titles yet but Hanma has embedded himself into the relationship between you and Draken. He doesn’t live with the two of you just yet, but he has two drawers of his own in the bedroom dresser, a toothbrush in the bathroom along with the products he’s left behind. An extra pillow has found its way into the bed and he even makes grocery runs when he does come over.

Draken knew you really wanted this psycho part of the relationship when he came home one evening to find you two curled up on the couch, fast asleep. You were sprawled across Hanma’s chest, head tucked into the crook of his neck, breath shallow and calm. Hanma’s hand was planted on the back of your head, the “sin” insignia seeming to stand out more in the dim lighting that the lit candles were able to provide. His hand held your head so delicately it seemed, and yet still pulled you in just a bit closer, protectively, when Draken took a couple of steps closer. 

Yea, maybe that was the moment that Draken realized he wanted the psycho to be a part of the relationship too. 

The three of you are figuring out exactly what this relationship is now, it’s new territory for you all but it’s exciting figuring it out. Usually, the three of you go out together, you’re still the mediator between the two cause they know just how to get under each other's skin. When you’re not around Hanma and Draken are either fighting physically/verbally or aggressively making out to let out the sexual tension. They hate talking about their feelings when you’re not involved (Draken is honestly still very much confused as to why he’s attracted to Hanma but he assumes its because he’s seen him treat you good, plus his dick twitches when he sees him so, that’s proof enough for him) 

It’s when it’s just you with one of them that Hanma starts to notice something that bugs him to no end. He learned from the very first night the three of you hooked up that you were Kenny’s little princess. You were spoiled rotten by him, treated like nothing other than royalty, and in return, you were his good girl. 

Always obedient. Never out of line, one stern look or a click of his tongue and you were submitting, eyes getting glassy as you’d either fall into place, whether that be on your knees for him or spreading your legs nice and wide. 

Hanma’s chest would tighten just a little every time you picked up the phone, little hearts showing up in your pupils as you spoke in a dreamy sigh “Hi daddy~ miss you… how’s work?“ 

He wanted you to be head over heels for him like that. You were the reason he was in this relationship in the first place, after all. There was a part of him deep down that hoped maybe, just maybe you’d love him even more than your precious “Kenny”, even though it wasn’t fair of him to think that way. 

You were just so damn perfect. He wanted you obsessed with him like he was obsessed with you. 

But, unfortunately, the two of you weren’t quite there yet. In fact, you knew very well you had Hanma wrapped around your finger in a different way than Draken was, and because of that? 

Well, you pushed every one of his buttons. 

You had no problem bratting him out, looking at him with furrowed brows, crossing your arms over your chest. Going as far as turning your face away from him with your nose in the air, a pretty little ‘hmph’. Leaving you. Sure, Hanma had always liked the ones that played hard to get, the chase was thrilling. 

But he knew how you actually were and had seen you with Draken many times. So why weren’t you like that with him? 

Originally he had full confidence in himself, but maybe it was the fact that he jumped in hard and fast to get you to submit that made it go completely south. Now it seemed he was just submitting to you, a little triumphant smirk plastered on your face when he caved and let you do as you so pleased. 

Draken would never ever see this side of you, and that pissed Hanma off even more.

He reached a breaking point one day. The two of you were at home, Draken was working late at the shop and had been there the majority of the day. Your attitude had been a steady build-up, words getting snarkier and actions making Hanma’s brow twitched in annoyance. He felt his patience snap when you looked back at him, that same smirk on your face that you usually held when you had a feeling he’d give him. 

“Whatever. Bite me, Shuji.” 

He licked his lips, dabbing out the half-smoked cigarette in his hand as a low chuckle left his lips. 

“Oh, happily, princess.” 

Draken came back to the apartment later in the evening, exhaustion and annoyance clear on his face. He expected you and Hanma to be sleeping, Typically Shuji stayed over on nights Draken was known to be home late (ever since that first night, it had become a regular occurrence), but he could see the lights from the bedroom leaking through the cracks, the subtle sound of buzzing perking his interest just a bit. 

Before he had the chance to call out, Hanma poked his head from the bedroom door, his devious smile only making Draken have that many more questions. The questions continued to pile up when the buzzing sound became more prominent, as well as what seemed to be the sounds of your whines, but they were more muffled than usual. 

“Kenny~♡” Hanma said with a smirk, head nudging to get the taller male to approach. “Why don’t you come see how much fun baby and I are having?“ 

A knot started to form in Draken’s throat. He knew this would happen eventually as this relationship carried on. He was sure you and Hanma fooled around a bit without him, but he was dreading the day he had to come home and see it. Would he be jealous? Angry? Maybe this was a good way for him to see if he could handle this dynamic. 

What he was met with was the farthest thing he could have thought of, his jaw going a little slack and his pants seeming to get a little tight as your muffled whines were brought to full volume, eyes all glassy and watery shooting up to meet his gaze. 

You were restrained to one of the dining room chairs, a pair of handcuffs that you two used on rare occasions keeping your wrists bound behind you. Your legs were spread wide open, ankles taped to the legs with what Draken assumed was duct tape. You were completely naked, skin trembling and layered in a shiny sweat as you started to buck your hips. One of the vibrating wands he was very fond of was also strapped to the chair, pressed firmly up to your drooly cunt and seemed to send jolts of pleasure up your spine no matter how much you thrashed. A layer of tape is what kept your voice at bay, streaks of tears looking extra shiny over the metallic material. 

“The fuck…” Draken sucked in a breath, unable to tear his eyes away from you, your pretty squirming body, the wet spot that was very clearly formed between your thighs on the chair, how you tense a bit when Hanma stands behind you, his lips close to your ear and his hand snaking over your chest to give one of your breasts a tender squeeze. 

“Ya know, for a good girl n all, I had to take some serious measures to get her to behave.” He looks up at Draken, loving the light blush that seems to form on his shocked face. His teeth graze your earlobe, only making you whine louder into the gag over your lips. “Thought you two would have more fun toys than just handcuffs, I had to improvise with the tape…” he grabs your chin, tugging your face to the side so he can look into your hazy eyes. The sight makes him sigh in delight, lips pressing gently to the tip of your nose in contrast to how he’s been treating you all evening. “Looks pretty though, keepin her in check just like I needed~ ♡” 

Draken’s first question should have been “how long have you had her like this?” Or maybe “what did she do?” But his mind was turning to other questions quickly, the lump in his throat quickly fading away when he noticed your hips bucking up into the head of the wand even harsher, cute little hole clenching around nothing. He approached you himself, pleased with how goosebumps formed on your skin when he brushed his nails over your bare tummy. 

“How many times has she come?” He asks, voice a bit gravely as your head tilts back against Hanma, your muffled moans and fluttering eyes a telltale sign to him that you were coming undone yet again. Hanma pursed his lips a bit, fingers absentmindedly toying with your nipple to help you ride out the pleasure of your sudden release. 

“Hmm… maybe 5? Or is it 6? What do you think baby girl? Have ya been keeping track?” There’s laughter behind his question, eyes lit up with amusement when a fresh layer of tears line your lashes, pleas and sobs getting muted anyway. “She’s been dumbed out the moment I stuffed her panties in her mouth, shoulda done this to her a long time ago, Kenny~” 

Draken wanted to come up with a snappy remark to that, something along the lines that he would never have to go this far because he already had you well trained, kept on a tight leash that you never threatened to break off of. But seeing you like this, body covered in goosebumps and tears across your face, eyes wide and desperate despite being fucked out… 

It was so fucking hot. 

“Little love.” The familiar pet name seemed to somewhat clear your foggy mind, making your eyes snap back to Draken. You were mumbling at him as he knelt just enough so he could be at eye level with you. There was that look in your eyes when he cupped your jaw, your face leaning into the warmth he provided as his thumb so casually smoothed over the tape that covered your pretty lips. You were batting your lashes at him, eyes going all doughy and soft. Hanma could feel himself starting to pout, but was grateful when Draken’s hand tightened around your jaw, making you stiffen a bit. 

“Musta been bein' real bad, huh? Only whores have to be punished like this” You tried shaking your head, but Draken kept you in place. “Not sure what's happenin to my good little girl, but I expect you to behave, for everyone, isn't that right?” 

Hanma smirks when you let out a high-pitched noise, leaving his place behind you to scoot closer to Draken. He took the opportunity to smooth his long, lean hands along Draken’s waist, humming in delight when he saw how your eyes widened, how you started to squirm more when Draken pulled away. “Why don’t we make this a lil harder for her, Kenny~ bet ya had a long day, want me to relieve some pressure?” 

Hanma emphasized his point when his punishment hand snuck down Draken’s abdomen, easily finding the bulge in his pants and giving it a tight squeeze that had Draken groaning low in his chest. He was grinning now, cock only throbbing harder to see just how worked up you were getting from seeing the two of them. Hanma used his free hand to grab at the remote in his pocket, turning up the vibration speeds of the wand so your body would jolt against the restraints while his other hand helped Draken work his pants down. 

“Better watch real good and shut the fuck up, princess~” Hanma’s voice was patronizing and dripping with false empathy, only making your eyes tear up more as you watched him fall to his knees in front of Draken. “Bratty little bitches don’t get to join in on the fun.” 

“Maybe she gets her mouth from you, Shuji.” Draken muses his hand curling into the hair that sat at Hanma’s nape, pulling his face up close to his cock. “You’re just as fowl…” He grins in return to Hanma’s laugh, eyes dilating a bit as Shuji dragged his pierced tongue along one of the veins that travelled up the underside of his cock. “Oh shut up, stupid, lemme suck your cock to make the baby jealous.” 

And it did just that, your stomach dropped when Hanma wrapped his lips around the length of Draken’s familiar cock, bobbing his head just like you would like you were supposed to. It made your chest tremble, the cuff clinging behind you as you found yourself becoming even more desperate for release and to join your two pretty boyfriends. 

It just wasn't fair, watching Draken throw his head back in pleasure, lifting the hem of his tank top to show off his flexing abs. It wasn’t fair that Hanma was the one gagging on his cock, his lashes lower as he took as much of Draken down his throat as he could. And it wasn’t fair that all you got was the steady vibrations of the wand, that made your already raw clit ache for more and your pussy clench desperately around nothing, begging to be filled up so your building release could feel more fulfilling. 

“Regretting your actions?” Draken’s voice is strained when he speaks, his eyes glued to your drooly little hole, how it flutters rapidly just from getting his attention. “Gunna act out when m’not around anymore?” He starts to shallowly thrust his hips into Hanma’s mouth, making him moan around his shaft. 

You nod, blinking away a fresh wave of tears as you feel yet another high building dangerously fast. It makes your head spin, the overstimulation, the emptiness, the way drool is dribbling freely from Hanma’s mouth as Draken fucks deeply into his throat. All of it has your nails digging into your palms, muffled sobs making your chest shake. 

“Jerk yourself off.” Draken orders Hanma, which to his delight the male has already pulled his own cock free, the leaky tip swollen as Hanma rubs it easily up and down. He pulls off Draken’s cock, sucking in a shaky breath as he turns to you. Your whole body reacts when Hanma finally puts his fingers on you, swiping three fingers through your sullied folds. The simple touch sends jolts all the way through your body, a scream working its way through your throat had your lips not been stuffed full. His fingertips just barely brush against your clit, an act that he does on purpose just to watch you thrash. 

“Thanks, beautiful.” He mocks, using your slick to get him off faster, his moans getting muffled as Draken pulls him back onto his cock. “Makes daddy so disappointed seeing ya like this, baby.” Draken shouldn’t love how much you're crying, shouldn’t love the constant tremors running through your body but it's so very satisfying in a way that he never expected to like. “Hope this makes ya smarten up–” He grunts, the wet sound of his cock slipping in and out of Hanma’s throat, as well as the sounds of Hanma shamelessly jerking himself off bringing him dangerously close to releasing. 

Keeping one hand firmly planted on the back of Hanma’s neck he leans towards you, gentle with peeling away the tape from your lips. He chuckles lowly to himself to see your mouth stuffed underneath, Hanma really wasn’t fucking around. He pulled the soaked panties from your lips too, the shaky breath you suck in making his cock twitch within Hanma’s mouth. 

“Apologize.” Draken’s voice is stern, only slightly wavering due to Hanma’s tongue and how it slithers over his slit teasingly. “Apologize to Shuji.” 

Your lips were a bit swollen, skin a little raw from the tape as your whines and whimpers now slipped out freely. You looked at Draken, nodding dumbly before your voice came out weakly. “M’sorry daddy, S-Sorry Shuji.” 

“Are ya gonna– fuck–” Hanma squeezed Draken’s balls, making a chill run up his spine. “Are ya gonna be a little brat for him anymore?” 

“N-No…” Your voice was too weak for Hanma’s liking. He pulls from Draken’s cock again, ignoring the drool that freely stuck to his chin. He continued to jerk Draken off instead. The hand he was using to please himself came down on your clit in a wet slap that made you cry out freely, making both of the men groan. 

“Louder.” Hanma gritted out his words, that shit-eating grin coming back when you bucked your hips wildly. The impact triggered another weak orgasm from you, sobs freely leaving you as you slumped back weakly into the chair, the pool of slick under your thighs only getting bigger. “N-No! W-Won’t be a brat anymore, promise!” 

“Atta girl.” 

“Good girl.” 

It was the first hint of praise you had gotten since the start of all this, your body becoming weak and simply lying pliant in your restraints. The twitches and trembles were just merely from the overstimulation that made your vision go spotty, barely even noticing the hand that was suddenly on your jaw to force it open. Hanma’s grip tightened up on your slack jaw, laughing softly as he spoke. “Here’s a treat~ ♡”

Both males finished on your tongue, cum mixing together and creating a hot, sticky mess of your already fucked out face. The heavy mixture easily slid down your throat, your body too spent to even make a big deal. Instead, you hummed dumbly, tongue lazily poking out to recover a bit of cum that splattered on the corner of your lip. As soon as Hanma released you were slumping against Draken, allowing his warmth to lull you off, along with his praise that was mumbled just low enough to help you doze off.

“You’re brushing it too hard, psycho. Hurt her and I’ll kill you.”

“A little late for that, so fuckin relax…” You were slowly starting to come to now, unsure of how much time had passed. You had been washed up though, a pair of Hanma’s boxers and Draken’s sweater slipped onto your freshly cleaned body to keep you warm. You could feel a hairbrush being dragged through your hair, the sensation making you let out a soft noise

“Look who’s back in the land of the living~” Hamna hummed in response, his voice in a singsong as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. The affection made you curl further into his lap, body still tingly from the aftermaths of the intense punishment you just underwent. 

Draken sat himself down beside Shuji as soon as he finished up making food for you, something light but comforting that he knew you’d probably need. You allowed your upper body to fall into Draken’s chest, the little kisses he littered over your face and hairline making you feel all the more relaxed. 

“You okay, baby girl?” He made sure your gaze met his as you nodded, a little smile coming to his lips as he kissed you. It was gentle, just enough to have you relaxing further as he brought a glass of water to your lips. “Daddy’s real proud of you, Lil love"  

“Yea, you took that like a champ” Hanma held back his laugh due to Draken’s glare, his hand gently smoothing over your ankles. Subtle bruising was forming there due to the tape that had kept you in place, and it made Hanma huff. “Let’s invest in proper rope, or somethin–” When he lifted your foot to kiss at your ankle you actually giggled weakly, face nuzzling into Draken. 

“Who says I’m gonna let ya do that again?” Draken’s voice was back to its usual gruffiness, his fingers getting lost in your dampened locks to scratch lightly at your scalp. The action had you dozing off yet again, body melting the warmth the two of them were able to provide. 

“Your cock–” You barely moved when a pillow came flying in Hanma’a direction, too tired to deal with their usual bitching. “What?! You liked it just as much as I did, Kenny~ You’re just mad you didn’t think to do it first–” 

“Watch it, Shuji, before–” 

“I liked it…” You murmured, rendering both males silent. You kept your eyes closed as you spoke, giggling from just how quiet they both got to listen to you. “Want you both there next time though, for the whole time…  makes it better…” 

You allowed yourself to fall to sleep tucked in between the two boys, and they kept your words in mind. Not that they’d need to punish you like that again, but a little experimenting between the three of you was a sure way to figure out exactly what this relationship was. 

And where it was going <3333

Property of ©bokuroskitten DO NOT COPY/REPOST/TRANSLATE ONTO ANYOTHER PLATFORM‼️

Member of: @tokyometronetwork @hanayanetwork

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers fanfiction #Tokyo revengers fanfic #tr fanfiction #tr fanfic #hanma shuuji #hanma smut #tr hanma #tr smut #hanma x fem reader #hanma x reader #hanma x you #tr draken #draken smut #ken ryuuguji #ken ryuuguji smut #draken x you #draken x fem reader #draken x hanma x you #fem reader

[tremerechantry]

It was a post you made about the middle class but i don’t know what you would consider to be a middle class person?

Hi anon, so unfortunately I am a law student and have enough fucking homework so I totally forgot to get around to this. Anyway, middle class... I want to say you know it when you see it but that's not necessarily true.

Middle class is when college for the children is a given. An expectation, rather than an aspiration. Student loans and all.

Upper middle class is when you start to hit "college funds" that actually defray the cost. On the upper end you hit no student loans at all. The funny thing about college is that the middle class has such a stick up their ass about not getting enough financial aid to make up for their lack of disposable wealth lol.

Okay so I know more people go to private school than I ever thought possible, but until I entered college and saw people who considered themselves middle class and had been in private school their whole lives I just assumed public school was the realm of all but the obscenely wealthy. Because who the fuck pays that much for a kid's high school when the government will do it for free. But it happens. So private school (without the fringe scholarship case) definitely bumps you up into middle class but isn't necessarily a determination of upper middle class.

Physical telltale signs... I can't do class-based race science mostly but there's usually a fucking ease there. Everyone worries but like the further up the class ladder you go the smaller you can see that shit get even if they don't know it.

Nice teeth is completely and totally the biggest one there. "Attractiveness" definitely correlates with more money but again, means nothing on its own. But the teeth. Straight teeth are middle class. They just are. Not that the middle class can't have crooked teeth (if they had parents that got their BROTHER braces but not them, thanks mom and dad, thanks, thanks...) (although I was a weird case of a Ridiculously Rapid upward shift from frankly fucking broke to lower middle class to middle class so my standard of living was really different from my sibs it's weird) (on that note guys education is so important like our standard of living just. Lifted when my father got his phd and got a job accordingly)

I suppose a Large Wardrobe. Clothes are fucking expensive and following trends gets more and more expensive. HILARIOUSLY, now when I see someone who has a shitty hole-ridden dirty looking outfit I just know they could buy and sell me. It's funny.

But anyway yeah. Things just being a given. PHYSICAL signs are crazy imo, it's about the attitude--the more insistent someone gets that they're middle class, the richer they are by the way lmfao. The real "woe is me" middle class will genuinely act like not getting a car for their sixteenth made them POOR.

But anyway anon I'm just a random 22 year old who interacts a lot with the upper middle class who consider themselves middle class. I don't actually know anything other than that people will say Anything to assuage their guilt over having money lmfao. There are people who travel as a given on spring break who will sit there and bitch about the upper middle class--THAT'S YOU. I SAW YOUR MIAMI PHOTOS.

Tl;dr why would you come to me as an authority on anything.

[joviantwelve]

watched spiderverse

impressions and theories below!

SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY!!!

ok so

1. glad they made the spot so cool. underrated villain in the catalogue

2. I FORGOT IT ENDED ON A CLIFFHANGER AUGH!!!!!!! SOBBING

3. a lot of moving pieces tho so I can see why that was a necessary decision. matrix 2/3 vibes over here

4. totally called miles getting sent to the wrong dimension. number was wrong, mom's eye color was wrong, she said his hair was different.......tragic tho

5. I always love and hate it when a groundbreaking piece of media uses ideas I've had for a while LMFAO. like it's so frustrating in the sense that "now people will assume I am ripping this thing off" but cool in the "YES THE WRITERS FEEL ME" sense.

my main Rixile story has the "you're an anomaly not supposed to be here, as you are now, to begin with" kinda thing, complete with accidentally getting yeeted to the dimension you technically relate to but isn't your home, where everything is now bleak because history spun away from its course so bad.

so anyway RE: the end of the movie, I take it this is the typical comic book "crime rules the city" kind of dimension cuz there's just no hero at all. always fun!!

OK ACTUAL THEORIES

6. prowler miles will become good after being inspired by spider miles. i hope

7. I'm assuming the main theme is "you CAN fight fate because fate is just a made up concept" cuz they've already talked about the "predetermined events" just being based on their study and models and shit. science is meant to be challenged. prophecies are also meant to be challenged. this is just a prophecy with science on top. and might also be a metatextual commentary on comic book AU-type characters?!??!? maybe??

man we're really into meta movies lately huh. the EEAAO nod was very funny

8. in that vein I'm also assuming whatever happened to that dimension miguel hopped into was not directly related to him being anomalous but rather him mistaking correlation for causation. and showing him you maybe CAN rescue a dimension from collapse would challenge that worldview. and hey we have a collapsing dimension right there already in the story! let's fix that!!

9. it would be cool if there was a spacetime loopy thing going on and spot is what caused that thing to happen tho, and miguel just got the wrong idea from it. though I guess that might be too far from the other message of "shit just happens sometimes and you have to deal" and I don't want them forcing a golden ending or anything. just might be cool if miguel is mistaken. lighten up a little mr. manpain

FINAL THOUGHTS

10. spiders-man was my jokey wish for these movies and he was not there, tragically, but there being a third movie is at least some hope for me.

I don't even need him to do anything big I just want lord & miller to point out how fucking horrifying his concept is in their typical joke style

11. finally I liked all the cute little references here and there. in the best way you can do it which is "unobtrusive but if you know you know." spectacular spider-man finally recognized after all this time. jk simmons recognized as the only actor that is allowed to play JJJ. gotta love it.

#text

[skrs-cats]

yea!! not to spoil too much but it focuses on her grieving and finding friendship in dove who shes only just really met as it takes place after tigerhearts se and fills the gap before tbc begins, its sweet sometimes the novellas really hit sometimes they dont i have a friend who skips them completely and i dont get it they add so much NIGHTSTAR MY BELOVED </3 i first read about him in yellowfangs se and thought damn i wish i could read more about him and then his manga came out and i was so happy lol, hoping we get cannon merch of him someday i love how hes written, gonna make a note to make fanart of him aha, unfortunate how he was treated but it feels like it shapes who he is i suppose ohh that makes so much more sense now i thought i was just loosing touch with the fandom and not being able to keep up with names, i was never rly good at it. 💀 i was talking about that with a friend recently too tpb used to repeat backstory about characters so much that it became frustrating but the newer books cut back on it and now when they introduce a character you have to really sit and remember it because they arent explaining it EVER again yaaa!!! u get it lol i started reading other YA series i never read as a kid and thought id reread wcs with a friend for the hell of it (and cause i had so many of the books i never got to) and it was great but as soon as i got to new stuff id never read before it kinda lost its charm and i took a break, sometimes you just arent feeling it, tho the longer you wait the more there is to read when you come back to it who knows maybe holly will be back from the dead again or we will get a jay, holly or lion se, were getting an ivy one after all and theres holly and jay content in the bonus scene for tbc 1

that sounds so sweet ToT SOMEDAY ILL FIND THE TIME TO READ AND REREAD THESE NOVELLAS ive forgotten most of them LMFAO. i think the ones i remember most are hollyleaf's, leafpool's, goosefeather's and dovewings which is.. wow. i def dont have a preference

and yes ur def right that the way nightstar was treated added to how he is generally perceived and his character, it kinda reminds me of mudclaw too! (whos manga i have also still Yet to read rip) i feel bad for them both but their unfortunate circumstances are what makes them such interesting characters T-T

i feel like we are old men yelling at the clouds but in a GOOD WAY HAHAHAHA im glad that despite it, we are talking about the series either way so i guess that means we still feel quite passionate about it, whether in positive or negative manner lmaooo

i think whats stopping me from continuing in reading the new books is that i want to reread it from the very start first, so i am very much stuck in my own way khkjahkljf tbh though whenever i see snippets of the new books in socials i actually find them very interesting! but i def also had moments where i just grew tired and felt like getting away from it all. i am praying so fucking hard for more og po3 content i miss them SO damn MUCH WAHHHHHH

speaking of the bonus scenes, a few weeks back i found out i completely forgot they happened! MORE SPECIFICALLY W HOLLYLEAF, WHAT. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST W JAYFEATHER AND HIM GRIEVING FOR LEAFPOOL. YOURE TELLING ME THERE WAS HOLLY CONTENT TOO??? what the fuck is my brain doing forgetting this information what the hell im such a fake fan TTTTTTOTTTTT

#ask #LITERALLY like i was watching videos about jayfeather and found out there were scenes about him dealing w the grief leftover from leafpools #passing and i was like WHAT. this happened in tbc bonus scenes???? WHAT WHEN. #and then i look through my old posts and there is literally one about me talking about it briefly #i just. completely forgot.... #and the funniest thing about it is the fact that my initial reaction to finding out about the bonus chapter (again) was me being sad that #lion doesnt get to even be included in that.. and going back to the old post where i read it.... i have the same exact complaint LOL KILL M #I AM NEVER CHANGING I AM STUCK HERE FOREVER

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA-

Wait re: threesomes thing: does she know about how people of the same sex sleep together? Or has she just not thought about it? Because like…. That kind of explains it… (cue clover asking her sister and her husband and wife about queer sex……….)

SCREAMING teddy I love you but OH NO!!! Clover is going to be so fucking stressed!!! Also they really need to lock his art room…… although maybe Ben will be fine because he has younger siblings so he kind of gets it?? (if I were clover I’d be having a panic attack, which she might have anyway)

Damn clover planning murder…. I mean I get it but that’s so dark….

I’m going to cry that he’s so chill about it. Genuinely brb sobbing over here

Him respecting her in his old art room and telling her that even though it used to be his, he’s still going to respect her as a human being and not treat her as if she’s the guest in his space…. Oh my god I’m so emotional over this chapter

Poor Ben pining so badly and also LOL at the bridgertons continuing to be oblivious to Charlie and Anthony

And then asking her if Colin could come in 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Did Colin think they were about to hook up?????!!!?!! LMFAO or did he just think they would be super mushy

SCREAMING clover ur so bold for someone who doesn’t even know how sex works LMAO.

Also we’re getting the Colin/marina scandal?!!!!!??!!?!!? That’s like four scandals or near scandals in one season for that family!!! It’s like half the kids!!!!! Lmfaooo OMG. When it’s all four of them, Eloise is going to be so pissed cuz she’ll be under pressure when she’s supposed to have had YEARS!! Three siblings married in a few month span……. Omg…..

I love that they’re embracing using husband/wife as affectionate nicknames and goofing about it now. I also love that clover jumped right into teasing Colin and being comfortable around him without any preamble. Truly fitting in like she’d always been there.

OMG this chapter was SUCH a rollercoaster, and next week is the dinner!!!!!! Augh I’m already so nervous and excited!!!!!!!!!!!! There’s so much fluff potential but also angst and arguing and teasing and banter and potentially being triggering for her KAKCNNDJFJF

I also wonder if clover will be tense the entire time and not realize it because this is so foreign to her and won’t even notice until she snaps or starts crying at something insignificant or something (totally not projecting LMAO)

Also I forgot to mention- I wonder when the alarm bells will go off for clover’s family that she’s not gardening and stuff, and what they will do about it…. Josie will get angry at Ben for sure but idk tbh………..

I’m so nervous and also emotional over this chapter and the future story lololol

Okay love u lots!! Can’t wait to see ur reply:)

Hi my loveeee! ❤️

Oh she tried to ask Josie but Josie absolutely refused to give her the details😂 So she has her theories but she is more confused by the fact that there were three people there, not two 😂

She was on the verge of a panic attack but also, her mind was so focused on protecting Teddy that she couldn't even think about it 💔

Yesss the palette knife thing! 😱 I actually don't think she was flat out planning murder BUT she was gonna make him stop by all means necessary 💔 And even if she trusts Benedict, that trauma hit her back with its full force the minute Teddy did something that "might" anger him...😭💔

He respects her so much! ❤️

They literally can't even see how Anthony is in love with Charlie! 😂

Colin thought they were kissing at the very least 😏 But actually hooking up at the art room while his whole family is there, I doubt he thought that 😈 But I mean would they do it? 😏

Lolll she thinks she knows😂 Although she is rethinking that considering what happened at the party😂

The season of scandals! 😏 It'll be complete chaos 😂

Yesss and Clover doesn't even notice that! 😂 Like, she's so comfortable with the fact that they're married that she can even joke about it with him, it shows how much she's starting to trust him 😍

Oooh we will actually have lots of dinners in the following chapters and we're skipping this one so that it won't be repetitive 🥰 But we will see some dinners and it will be fun! ❤️

Josie will be so protective! 🥰 Like, rn they don't think anything of it, her not gardening because she's too "busy" in her honeymoon😏 But Josie will eventually bring it up and ask her why she's not doing it❤️

Thank you so so much darling! 😍🥰 ILY! ❤️❤️❤️

[funky-sea-cryptid]

chapter 37

lennox goes home on a saturday

he's supposed to be working but he's not. he goes home to his wife and kids. i forgot he had a wife and kids

i also forgot why i should care

he notices a new perfume and he's like "omg is she cheating on me? nah she's too ugly for that" i

LENNOX

neither of them are attractive apparently

pleeease kill me i DONT CARE about LENNOX

the kids are happy lennox is home!!

lennox is like "these kids are too beautiful to be mine. she cheated on me right?" i

[deep sigh]

the kids really are excited lennox is back but he's sulking about it

he has a call from seyton

seyton says macbeth has a job for them at the hospital

lennox compares himself to lead (the metal)

macbeth wakes up from a dream about stabbing bitches

jack says caithness has called him about how they found fleance's body

they need someone to come and identify it, someone who knew the family

macbeth's like "HHHHHH"

he's tripping balls but somehow sober

lennox and seyton roll up to the hospital

the receptionist is a "buxom black woman"

i looked up what buxom meant and it means "plump/big breasted"

great. that's the first thing we learn about this character? that's.

[deep sigh]

lennox gets access to the mayor and he sees his mistress and the son

he tells tortell there's an assassination attempt on his life and he's going to take the mayor to safety

the woman - her name is edith - tells tortell and kasi to go with lennox

edith is dying. kasi knows but he's okay with it as long as he still has one parent.

macbeth rolls up to meet with caithness and she has a lot of perfume on

she was expecting seyton so reasonable

she dips out and macbeth goes toward the body

he sees his old shoes

yanks the sheet away

its duff lmfao

duff's like "lol you're under arrest, bitch!!" and macbeth's like "you cant arrest me" and duff's like "yes i CAN hoe"

macbeth's now goading duff to kill him. duff is like "nope. not gonna bait me."

macbeth and duff having this real fucked up dynamic hurts in this one scene because macbeth knows exactly how to hurt him

macbeth is like "shoot me bitch! shoot the only friend you've ever had! do it for merideth!" and duff doesnt

macbeth slams his head into duff's nose and is like "FUCK IT WE BALL" and is about to shoot macbeth and then a man in a grey coat drags macbeth into a dry cleaners

duff shoots up a dry cleaners

a man rolls up like "you been robbed, mister?" and duff's like "YES >:,("

#nesbo macbeth (derogatory)

[koreandragon]

What if they're playing us in tomorrow and he's not her husband or is instead her second husband??? I don't trust drama writers anymore. Also this should've been the story like this relationship and romance and angst should've been the main thing or at least gotten more than 2 minutes every episode lmfao. I'm rewatching some dramas and reflecting on some tropes they seem to love and omg for a medium that has lived and survived thanks to romance they sure do love to shit on it constantly, the BS they pulled with 2521 that post that was like a north Korean and south Korean and a goblin and a human etc found a way to be together but a reporter and a fencer couldn't adkfjjfj yikes. Like I'm so so tired of the EP 12 to 15 break up for no other reason than we need people to keep watching until ep 16, it always always undermines the entire relationship we're supposed to believe is true love~~~ I want ROMANCE back, yearning and fighting for each other against all odds and desperate hugs and kisses and longing and just all consuming love and passion I'm tired where are my princess man like dramas where she put a sword to her throat and stayed like that for a day promising to kill herself the moment her father killed her lover, my dramas like queen in hyuns man where they fought time and space and 3 different timelines and she felt his pain with 300 f*cking years between them. It's like they forgot how to write a good love story and all its different complex moving parts. With the world getting shittier and shittier we need these kind of stories now more than ever and yet they seem to be disappearing all together and I thought I only had to worry about western media looking down on romance but it seems like the tide has shifted in Korea too unfortunately.

oof go off anon... honestly it really does feel like it's been a while since we've seen a truly angsty and all sweeping romance. i would count doom at your service as a really good one though, i mean they were both ready to die for the other and found each other over and over again, even when fate didn't want them to. we need more like this.

i don't believe they're duping us tho like i'm pretty sure they've gone too far to turn back now so he has to be her husband?? and yes i would much rather have their story be the main focus of the drama instead of something that's on the back burner all the time, it's like they accidentally create this perfect love story with past lives and red threads and suicide and finding each other again despite all odds then they decide to just have that as a supporting story line. this is a whole drama material, i would watch 16 episodes of this story. everyone watching this is more invested in their romance than the actual drama and it's odd that despite being a main character goo ryeon's story is so sidelined.

i don’t even wanna talk about 2521 cause that was a whole disaster i absolutely hated it like it was actually deeply upsetting and deminished the whole show. you could say ‘well but this show was about friendship and coming of age and etc’ no this was a romance drama about two people falling in love, that was THE MAIN THEME, that was the main story and at the end they went ‘actually nevermind’ and just??? they never heard from each other again?? make it make sense. fucking sick of plot twist and diverting viewer’s expectations and essentially betraying your viewers because this is not what they signed up for. fuck that writer honestly

the dramas you mentioned are both sageuks or fusions that usually tend to be more dramatic and deep but i can't really speak on this genre now as i don't really watch them so idk the situation about those romances.

i don't know if it's the globalization of kdramas but there really seems to be less of these earth shattering romances nowadays. i'm scared to bring up mr queen but if you don't look at the ending, the whole appeal of that show was that these two met through time and space, being from different times, being different sexes and their love story was so beautiful and so fullfilling, it had me glued to the screen for months...when writers realize that romances bring in more viewers i will finally know peace.

#ask #anonymous

[6afurah]

On the future

So today ismail's vinyl came in. I'm going to hop over to amcorp on the weekends to see if i can find a good turntable for cheap. I think it'll be a nice gift ( also i kinda want one for myself and im sure he'll let me use it too lol ) The vinyl i got him even comes with a poster i am 100% he'll love it.

But on the topic of his birthday next week,

it's really got me thinking a bunch,

I honestly know he loves me and all that. Without a doubt, in terms of love u know. but i don't know, something feels off, aside from the love thing. could just be me being idk you know paranoid me. Yesterday we discussed about what music we wanna make, and started a playlist for it too.

he's really great, i honestly just feel less alone with this person because we love and want the same things, i've honestly never felt that way about anyone before like that, ive loved other people but i dont think ive really felt what it is im feeling for ismail.

i don't know, maybe it was just the whole marriage thing, He was supposed to marry salma and she's getting engaged, He also met someone else after me, but it didnt work out bcs apparently something something tak sama vision la entah aku pun tak tahu lmfao

I guess it just

annoys me i'm not a girlfriend yet, and even when i am a girlfriend,

why do i get the feeling that this person has no want to marry me at all. He probably doesnt, and i guess it makes sense since we're only on good terms now, 3/4 months

but we've known eachother for a while now, this all doesn't bother me that much to be honest, its just upsetting how my parents don't like him anymore n his parents dont even know i exist

like it all just got thrown out, it feels good writing this down i guess. I dont feel like talking to him about it bcs tbh If he wants to do something about us or make it proper, he has his chance to do so, I'll give him time but honestly, I hate how if someone came along and offered something more concrete that i'd consider it. i love him like on god, dont get me wrong, and tbh i probably wouldnt even budge if someone else wanted me, but i think I just want to be a part of his life again and vice versa, not some weird secret where it's just the two of us.

Whatever, thinking about this just makes me angry.

my birthday happened a few days back, being 22 is not relieving at all. I always feel relief when i get older but now it's just replaced with this weird sense of dread tbh

i missed therapy roday i totally forgot about it. also my left eye hurts and idk why but maybe i need to take a break on the whole eyelash extension thing kejap lololol

if it still feels weird ill get them removed.

i also feel like taking a break from social media, no particular reason, i think its just a thing i feel from time to time.

working at an office i realize, you're just sort of

waiting for stuff to happen most of the time and it gets really boring.

oh i also gained so much weight, like 8 kg idk how i did that but i'm hoping to lose the weight soon. I'm on a calorie deficit right now, but its sort of hard to be consistent since i eat out with people and not eating a normal amount kinda weird people out and i kinda dont wanna weird people out u know???

I wonder when gjie is going to come back to office,

i really suck at scripting radio ads lololol Idk its surprisingly kinda hard to do, and i think its because i dont know how to make something not too formal and not too casual.

I wish my radio station was a little more relaxed. Maybe one day, i'll make my own radio station. Idk its just a funny idea, but it would be cool i think. Just me and myself.

I dont think anyone would listen to it though,

i like to think i'm interesting as a person

but i think i'm not so great nowadays, i'm not as interesting as i thought i was. I also kind of miss my long hair. Its nice having less weight on your hair but , I miss the comfort of long hair, just made me feel protected

[woozi]

yza beloved <3

HELPHSJDSKDSJSK manifesting for both of our agendas to become reality one day and also after gotsvt finish here i'm sending them to you 🤝🏽 we all deserve fun in this house (also to this day i have no idea about how that dispatch gyu, rowoon (and there was someone else too but i can't remember now 😭) photoshoot happened jdjssk remember hoshi and yugyeom together </3 in that main dancers dispatch vlive? and photoshoot)

also NAUR! i remember now i had this fuzzy yellow doll like idk what that animal was supposed to be helpp but bc of its yellow color it used to remind me of tweetie from looney toons, it also had its hands joint like you could pull them apart and make it clap but not too much. oh my god,, i don't think i would've ever remembered this again if not for you and those bears

OMG YESSS OFC 🥺 i would love to watch a movie with you <33 i will let you know details in dm later when both of us become more free than now djsjsk

i watched spirited away in the start of this week, it was so good thank you for recommending it to me! it all truly is about togetherness isn't it? be it human world or spirit world i liked how no face was portrayed, he wasn't doing anything until chihiro noticed his existence, once he got the taste of being noticed he wanted more of it but everyone else has always ignored him so he tried a different approach by giving them what they wanted. like he wasn't some bad guy he was just tired of existing with no one acknowledging him but then chihiro and others go to visit the other twin sister and she treats him the same way she treats her other guests in her house after that he didn't act up or something. i really liked that. i also loved chihiro's bravery and her friendship with haku it was so sweet :') one thing i don't understand is that why or how haku got roped into being yubaba's right-hand person? it was mentioned the river was destroyed and apartments were made on it so doesn't it make him an official spirit? it's a realm where spirits come to rest and enjoy after dwording so jdjsksl idk i keep thinking about this a little too hard

ALSO ! i was going to mention this the day vernon posted about spirited away but forgot,,, i think he's stalking our conversations 🤭

i'm manifesting restful and peaceful months for you bestie <3 also i remember last oct you had jeonghan and kuromi theme?? correct me if i'm wrong hdjsks but like this means we've been talking to each other for a year already?? where is time going hejsksksj

ofc i remember little details <3 i'm your friend so :3 sending good vibes your way as always <3 also feel free to take as much time as you need don't worry about replying late i'm not going anywhere <3

MA CHERIE <3333333333333

if gotsvt comes i hope it's not to soon i still gotta find work to get them soundcheck tickets lmfaOO 😭😭and ure absolutely right theyre dispatch thingies 😋

WAIT OH MY GOD THAT'S SO CUTE THAT U CAN MAKE HIM CLAP </3333333333 but tweety made me laugh lmfao all i can think of is his big head

LETS GAUR <333333333333333333333 IM EXCITED!!! i won't be free until after the 21st though uni's still threatening my life til then 😔

ALSO UR ANALYSIS,,,,,,,,, SO TRUE NOW IM SO SAD FOR HIM AGAIN 😭😭😭😭 ALSO NOOOOO ure not thinking abt it too hard, ure asking all the right questions to get the lore tbh <3 the way i understood it, haku's a "lost soul" given that the river was destroyed and he had no home to come back to anymore. bc of this he went to seek yubaba, asking to become her apprentice in order to learn magic, and like everyone who becomes her subordinate, his name got stolen. but even so, i also think (heavy on the think, i'm not sure if its canon) that bc he's unlike the people in the bath house world who still have homes to come back to, his name wasn't only forgotten bc yubaba stole it from him, he also started to forget his name because he didn't have a home anymore; so either way he'd still meet the same fate.

AND I KNOW <3333 also he's just like us fr lmfao <3

WAIT NO OH MY GOD??????? I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE????????????? i feel like i've known you since forever but also how did a WHOLE YEAR just pass us by in the blink of an eye 😭 thank u for sticking around ilyvm i truly mean it 🥺

hoping you also get some time off for urself!! sexy ppl deserve em 😋 LOV U AGAIN THANK U FOR ALWAYS BEING SO KIND 🥺🥺 MWAH URE MY BESTIE FR

#cherie 🪂 #s-cxups #y.ask #long post

[aquariusshadow]

Live!Blogging Legacies s4x10

It's been so long...Legacies how I've missed you.

Gimme that Hizzie goodness. I'm finally here and I'm finally ready.

--

....new character?

im sorry the background music in the opening scene just reminds me of harry potter music ahaha

hope

bby

honey

how ive missed you

yesss cleo, jed, MG super squad trio

adfhadhflajsdfh

"i do not consider ethan a friend anymore"

gdi my methan heart

yall i wasnt prepared for that

look at jed sticking up for cleo

i do really like their friendship

oh

limbo squad

i forgot about them

"dead. ted" hehe

oh good christ what the hell is that

oh i just remembered

this is aurora in hope's body, right?

sigh

i still dunno how i feel about the body-switching storyline tbh

lizzie bby

oh great is this another therapy box thing?

oooooooo the keys have my attenion

did...did she just ignore the rest of the keys to look at lizzie's?

ehehehe

"two bros, sittin five feet apart in a barrier spell cuz theyre not gay"

okay im already really vibing with this dynamic

idk sometimes theres just that natural chemistry that's just there

and it's pretty evident with ben/jed so far

aw noooooooo poor ashur

ah yes lets bring the young college students into the supernatural clusterfuck

well that was fast

she just

went for it

heretic!lizzie

im really getting some caroline vibes when she first became a vampire

thats pretty neat

okay the song playing with hope and the keys is really cool

look at lizzie showing off her fangs to hope ahahaha

god i adore the heretic!lizzie and tribid!hope dynamic rn

okay this is actually kind of an intersting back story of some of the monsters origins

look at jed sticking up for ben

.......

is

is she

is she sired to hope

oh god this better not turn into a delena thing

i really hated the sirebond plotline in tvd ahaha

still wtf is that monster even supposed to be

i cant get past the fangs

......hope and lizzie's keys are each other's names

ehehe

_*the bibrid to your tribrid*_ lmfao

okay this sire bond dynamic is already so much better than delena's

lizzies actively trying to refuse

and her commentary constantly calling it out

jed and cleos hi-five/fist bump ahahaha

oh the creepy creature is now a pet....

im not sure how i'm feelin about jen tbh

oooooooooo he's prometheus

duh okay

i probably shouldve caught onto that alot earlier

whoops

hsdlkfajhlfdajsdfas

JHALFDKAJSDHFKLASD

"I've come to like Ben. It's simple, like Jed. And I've come to like simple things."

"Well, buddy, I'm your guy"

ASTOPSTOPASDKJAHLSDKFAHSDF

guys

GUYS

i cant go through this again

look at them look at each other

guys

PUKWUDGIE OH MY GOD

...........is

is mg gonna forgive ethan

i shouldnt have laughed when mg failed to hug lizzie

hlsjdhflajsdalhfsdf

okay see this exactly is why i dont like mizzie

"If there's one thing I've always been able to do, is manipulate Milton Greasley"

wtf

i'm supposed to root for that???

i just

ugh

its such an off dynamic

theres nothing really mutual between these two

yes i've actively ignored the limbo scenes

no i dont care about them

except for landon

--

Alright this episode was pretty strong overall! I'm vibing with Ben/Prometheus as a new character plus I adore his dynamic with Jed. Heretic!Lizzie is pretty much what I was expecting and I'm very happy about it.

The sire bond thing did make me nervous at first but there seems to be a strong self-awareness with what having that bond means for Lizzie as she tries to constantly push some sort of autonomy over herself and make it clear every chance she gets as to what she actually wants/doesn't want--feels/doesn't feel. Plus her dynamic with Hope still feels very balanced so I'm super curious to see more of these two now that Lizzie is a heretic.

I forgot a bit about the previous episode before the break and I think it shows in my commentary but I still seemed to follow along the plot fairly well.

I...I really like Hizzie now ehehe. Hello Hizzie fandom, I'm here to stay.

#legacies #live!blogging legacies #legacies s4 ep 10 #legacies s4x10 #legacies 4x10 #hizzie #jed/ben #is jed/ben's shipname bed? lmao #anti mizzie #its been a while since ive used that tag... #hope mikaelson #lizzie saltzman #jed tien #ben legacies #cleo sowande #mg #milton greasley #heretic lizzie #tribid hope

[nurseofren]

Keeping Your Promise - Chapter 30 (NSFW)

Read on AO3 | Read on Wattpad

Read chapter twenty-nine (NSFW-lite)

Title: Not a Fascination

Words: 14.1k (Um... don't look at me lmfao)

Summary: The other side of tragedy.

Warnings: vaginal fisting, needles, inappropriate use of medical equipment

ST Rambles: Here to drop this absolute MONSTROSITY of a 14.1k word chapter. But boy howdy was this thing a long time coming. Thigh riding, fisting, vein kink -- OH MY. To be honest, this thing was not supposed to be what it is, but I went with it and like how it turned out and how it will help the story along.

I take my NCLEX on July 7th and start my orientation on the 19th. Life is crazy y'all. Enjoy this.

[MASTERLIST] || BANNER // @elmidol

Bloodied faces, jagged flesh, the smell of iron scorching your nose, screams scraping against your ears and never ending, never faltering no matter how much you did.

All these things, these horrid thoughts, crowded your mind, and all you could do was keep running, keep tumbling through the unfamiliar halls of this place and hope you could get to him in time. Get to Kylo in time.

Because how many chances could the galaxy or the stars or the gods offer you? It felt like you’d used those chances up, maxed them out between Robbie and Snoke and Starkiller.

But you could not think like that, or at least you didn’t want to. It was useless, none of those gut-wrenching thoughts could help you or Kylo, and all of them just made you want to crumple to the floor and give up.

If he wasn’t okay, if he was dying…

The thought made you stumble forward, your fingers clamping onto a doorframe as you made another tight turn into the next hallway that looked like all the previous. You shot past couplets of workers, their shocked gasps dwindling behind as you raced away from them to wherever your watch was leading you.

CB-7070 raced just behind you, and maybe it appeared as if you were being chased by security, but you couldn’t care less, not as you felt the phantom flood of crimson slither along your leg, its ghost a cold, wicked reminder of how bad things could be again. The stormtrooper didn’t stop you, though, and you wondered briefly if she had been alerted to Kylo’s emergency as well. But it was a fleeting thought, and all you could think of was getting to him and being with him and not letting him go ever again.

Your heart burned in your chest and your legs flew faster than you ever knew they could, fast like your sprint toward the Command Shuttle when the planet was exploding alongside your life. This was all too familiar, too chaotic. You couldn’t do this again.

You wouldn’t.

The next turn you hurdled past, you promised yourself that you would do everything you could to ensure Kylo would never be helpless like he had been ever again. Trial be damned, license be damned, Snoke be damned! None of it mattered. Nothing mattered. Nothing but him, nothing mattered except him. It was always him.

It would always be him.

The tiny red blip of your radar display became centered, and you looked up just before you met a badge-protected door face first. Before you could process the thought completely, your hand flung to the badge hanging from your collar and slammed it into the scanner on the wall. The door hissed open and you catapulted into whatever room you’d been led to.

And then you connected with a hard wall of heat and muscle. Kylo.

Breath heaved from your lungs as your hands skimmed along his front, assessing for damage and wounds, searching for the sinister slip of blood beneath the tips of your fingers. You were only vaguely aware of the questions fumbling from your trembling lips, your ears ringing and head pounding as your hands took one of his clothed arms and smoothed along its strong length, wandering until they found nothing of concern and shifting to the opposite.

After finding his front and upper half free from injury, you went to spin to his back, but a hand caught your hip – a warm, firm hand that broke through the cloud of panic that’d swallowed you – and kept you from moving. You urged away from it, but it remained and kept you steady, and when you tried a third time, it grasped a little tighter, and you found your way back to the present.

Breath wheezed out of you and you looked up. Kylo was peering down at you, unmasked. It was there again, that odd, unreadable expression from the Command Shuttle that day, the one that looked like awe, but now it was laced with something more. The way he looked at you… Kylo seemed stunned, but there was this strength to it, like he hadn’t been expecting your worry, but that he liked it.

“Kylo,” you whimpered, your fingers reaching up to skim his face, the pad of your left ring finger etching along the black-and-red scar that struck through his face.

His Jaw tightened and your eyes fled to his, the weight of his molten amber gaze making you shiver. Something wet and hot slipped over your top lip, and only then did you realize you’d begun to cry.

“Kylo,” you mouthed, and then you rested your forehead against the broad width of his chest, your hands slipping from his face and reaching around his waist so you could pull him to you.

He seemed to relax slightly with you tight against him, but he was still rigid.

“Leave us,” Kylo stated simply, and your blood ran cold while your face heated.

In your panicked state, you forgot that CB-7070 had followed after you. She’d kept up with you through the halls and was now standing in the same room where you’d just caressed the Commander of the First Order’s face and hugged him. The room where you were still hugging him.

“Commander Ren, I am to remain with your provider during her time away from the Consulate,” CB-7070 said, an uneasiness clear even in her altered voice. “To leave her would go against my assignment.”

“Your assignment is with the General, is it not?” Kylo demanded, the hand on your hip flexing but never releasing.

There was a tense pause, and you heard the stormtrooper at your back shuffle uncomfortably, undoubtedly under the intense glare your master was shooting her right now.

“She is my provider, after all. Report to the General that you left her with me.” His heart was steady and unwavering in his chest, and you knew you should pull away from him, but you were too caught up in the reassurance of his strong form to do so.

Another moment of silence passed, you felt the steady gawk of CB-7070’s face centered on you, and you went to finally let go of Kylo. But he had other plans. Instead of letting you go, Kylo took the hand that wasn’t clasped to your hip and let it trail up your spine, dragging it along your back until it cupped the base of your skull and shifted your head so your cheek lay flat against his chest.

“Tell your general he can come to me if he has an issue with my order. I’ll be interested to hear his… perspective on the matter, if he feels so compelled.”

The lethal confidence that Kylo spoke with seeped into your bones. And though you couldn’t see his face, you heard the slight snarl he’d ended his words with.

A second passed, you took a breath, and the heat of Kylo’s gloved hand atop your nape sent a scalding shiver down your spine. Movement sounded at your back, and you could almost feel CB-7070’s surrender in the way the remaining rigidity left Kylo altogether.

The stormtrooper cleared her throat. “I will report as you’ve advised, Commander Ren.” Out of the corner of your eye, CB-7070 shifted toward you. “Officer,” she said in resignation, wariness tingeing her tone.

You couldn’t look at her. The only thing meeting her mask-hidden eyes would do is solidify that you had an odd, extremely inappropriate relationship with Kylo Ren. Between the trial, the shitty shift, and whatever Kylo called you here for, the last thing you needed was Hux up your ass. Or, further up your ass than he already was.

So you only nodded against Kylo’s chest, attempting to speak but knowing your words would be rasped by how thick your throat had become.

Boots sounded on the tile floor, then a rush of hydraulics, and finally the room settled around you. It was quiet, the only sound that of Kylo’s rhythmic, unfaltering heart and your own pulse finally slowing in your ears. He still held you to him – hand on hip and head – and for however long he did, whether it was minutes or hours, you felt the chaos of Starkiller’s downfall flood away. Kylo held you and you held onto him, and the planet at your feet kept still and steady, so you allowed a second a peace, clinging to every rise and fall of the chest that tided beneath your cheek.

Had you ever held Kylo Ren before? The thought struck through you, and you tightened your hold just a measure more, and you felt your body sigh against his.

Kylo had held you before, held tight your sob-wracked body on that all-too-recent day that seemed to have changed so much. Seemed to have changed everything, really.

“I thought something happened,” you murmured. “I thought you were hurt again like… like last time. And that I’d find you and you wouldn’t…” You swallowed, the grim thought choking you. “And you wouldn’t wake up this time.”

The hand on your hip smoothed over to the small of your back, the breath of his heavy sigh cooling the crown of your head. “I’m not that easy to kill,” Kylo said, blunt yet gentle.

You ran your hands up his back, surreptitiously searching for damage. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” you mumbled.

A gust of amusement left him, and he teasingly said, “I think a lot of people would disagree with that statement.”

He was… joking? “Nothing physically wrong, then. So why are you here, Kylo?”

He hummed, and the feel of his vibrating chest against your ear was chilling. The hand that rested on the back of your neck toyed with the stray hair there, and just as soon as your eyes lulled shut did they fling back open.

The Force returned with unyielding, unforgiving strength. It laved and pushed and whirled through your cunt, and you shuddered against Kylo and he held you to him, trapped you against him while you yipped and squealed and bit back wanton moans.

“I can’t just come see you?” Kylo rumbled, and you could hear the smirk he now wore. “It has been such a long, boring day, what with you ordering me against training for the foreseeable future, so I thought I’d pay a visit to my little nurse.” He sighed a low chuckle. “Thought I’d see how memorable your first day has been.”

Your hands bunched in the material of his outer tunic, your jaw slack and brow pinched, but through the thick pleasure you found yourself annoyed and… angry.

You were angry with him.

He came here with the intent to toy with you, just as he’d done during your entire shift. The same toying – albeit, much more vehement now – that caused you to be publicly reprimanded and shamed not even an hour ago. It made you feel so worthless, so unimportant that he hadn’t considered that you wouldn’t want to do this with him right now. Even worse was the fact you thought he was hurt or so much worse when your watch had alerted.

It felt like he didn’t care how these shifts would affect your trial. It felt like he hadn’t given a second thought to summoning you here, like he didn’t consider that you’d lose your mind at the thought of something worse happening to him as the events of Starkiller occurred not even two weeks ago.

“Kylo,” you warned, but it came out on a lusting breath. “Kylo, stop.”

“Is that another one of your orders you seem to be so keen on today? In that case…”

The Force shifted, and while it kept a masterful pattern on your clit, you now felt it move inside you, pushing into you just as his thick, heavy cock would. But the Force grew, it stretched you and you felt it deep, deepinside. A pitiful wheeze jolted from your lungs, and when your knees quivered, Kylo only pressed you harder into his massive, broad body, the Force filling you with relentless strokes.

“Kylo, stop it. Stop it, now,” you panted, your voice rising a pitch when you felt the frays of pleasure tickle along your nerves. You didn’t want to cum, not for him, not right now when he’d made you so livid.

“You should be begging me to let you cum, not for me to stop” he hummed, a note of uncertainty present in his tone. “Why are you fighting me on this?”

“Because I don’t want to do this with you!”

The exclamation ripped through your throat, your nails nearly shredding through his thick tunic, and as you prepared to be drowned in the ecstasy of orgasm, the Force left you. It all stopped, and all you knew in that moment was that you were relieved he listened to you. Relieved he stopped and recognized that this wasn’t an empty plea born from a pleasure high. Recognized you were serious.

As you calmed, still holding tight to him, you felt the absence of his touch, and the room went completely still around you. It didn’t even seem like Kylo was breathing, or he was and it was disconcertingly quiet and insidious.

You took your hands from him and stepped away, seeing you were in a nondescript assessment room, a simple exam table in its center and a set of windows peering out toward the bay. The sun was slowly sinking toward the water now, casting the cabinet-lined walls with rich orange and purple hues. Only now did you realize the lights weren’t on, the panic you’d entered the room with quick to steal your attention from such details.

As you took another step back, wiping your face with the backs of your hands, you turned your focus back to Kylo. You were mad at him. He didn’t get to throw a fit right now. You did.

But before you could start, Kylo spoke, his voice deathly and haunted as he did. “Then who do you want to do this with?”

“What are you talking about, Kylo?”

“You said you didn’t want to do this with me. That implies there is another who you would rather be doing this with.” His face was forged in impenetrable steel, and yours was warped with exasperated confusion.

“Yeah, I don’t want to do this with you. Fuck, no I don’t want to fuck you right now. I don’t want to be fucked by you right now.”

He was entirely off base, and it sent a wave of quiet outrage through you that he couldn’t see why you were so angry with him.

He ground his teeth together, so hard it seemed likely he would crack a molar. The scarred side of his face hitched in a snarl when he whispered, “The physician, right? That would make the most sense. You wanted to fuck him before.”

“Hey!” you barked, stomping a pace toward him, utterly dumbfounded by how he was missing the point. “You don’t get to call me a slut. You know what? You don’t get to be mad right now. You don’t get to imply that I want to fuck anyone other than you just because your fragile ego can’t take that I don’t want to fuck you right now, that I don’t want you to touch me right now because…”

Thoughts were somehow coming too quickly and leaving too soon as you floundered in front of him. When you didn’t speak, when your hands grasped for the words that you couldn’t find, your eyes settled on the rigid flow of his breathing. And then lower to the fists at his sides, flexing and unflexing as the room settled into silence.

“You don’t get to be mad,” you said, and it was a quiet murmur from your lips but the room around you boomed as they left you. “You don’t get to be mad right now because I…” And it took a final moment, one where his eyes lit at the threat of more silence, but you finally understood what you were feeling. “You don’t get to be mad right now because I am more than your fuck toy.”

“Of course you are—,”

“No!” you interrupted, flinging a hand just inches from his chest. “You talk so much about how I need you and how I need to trust you first, but how can I when you won’t respect… me?”

Kylo’s nostrils flared, and you saw the heave of breath that left him, but he kept quiet. So you continued. “You don’t respect me. Or maybe you do and you just suck at showing it. Because you called me here, you alerted me that there was something wrong and I thought you were dead, alright? I thought you were hurt and that you were bleeding out and that if I didn’t get to you in time that you were going to die and that it would be my fault.”

“I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong,” he said, voice laden with visceral restraint.

“And that’s the whole problem, don’t you see?” You bored one last stabbing glare into his eyes, and then rage clutched at your chest. A whiny, tired roar tore through your throat. “I’m such a joke. I… I can’t do anything. I’ve lost so much time and opportunity being assigned to you that I never learned how to do anything right! And you don’t care! You don’t care that I’m working under a preceptor who graduated the same month I did. You don’t care that I’m here, working unpaid shifts so I can prove to the Board that even if I’m unfit for practice, I am still worthy of life.”

Breath burned your throat, but it never seemed to fill your lungs. Kylo glared at you, a cold, flat expression dulling his features. You didn’t care. He needed to hear this. You needed to say it.

“I sprinted here from the Infirmary, and all I could think about was that I couldn’t lose you. That I wouldn’t live in a world where I wasn’t with you.” His brow narrowed at that, but you couldn’t stop. “And when I got here and you were okay, I felt like I could breathe again. But then you start with your Force-fucking bullshit and made me realize that you will never take me seriously. None of this will ever matter to you – not the fact that I won’t ever practice again, not the fact that you caused me to miss an IV, not the fact that that got me humiliated in front of a whole floor of staff who will forever know me as Kylo Ren’s Provider, the girl with the red embroidery and the too-short uniform.”

You hadn’t noticed, but your hand had gone to trace the embroidery you’d just mentioned, and when you flung your hand away, you saw a flicker of something unfamiliar in Kylo’s eyes.

A bitter, cold laugh croaked out of you. “Do you know who I’m working under? Does the name Calliope Silvren sound familiar to you?” You eyed him, and when he didn’t speak, you nearly barked at him, “Do you know who she is, Kylo?”

“No,” he said, and it sounded like the truth, but it didn’t matter to you if it was or not.

“Calliope Silvren is everything I was supposed to be. She’s everything I’m not, and… and she’s the one you are supposed to be fucking!”

“What are you talking about?” He ended the question with a tense cut of your name.

“Because I was your little fascination, right?” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the thought as your vision blurred with tears. “I was nothing more than a game to you, and she was the one who was supposed to be assigned to you.” Gulps of breath hiccupped in your throat. “She wouldn’t have gotten herself into this situation!” The heels of your hands dug into your eyes, and you realized you were trembling. “Calliope fucking Silvren wouldn’t have taken the blood from that fridge, and she wouldn’t have fucked her Commander! Calliope fucking Silvren wouldn’t have named a stormtrooper and she wouldn’t have gotten raped and she wouldn’t have killed anyone!”

Something hard and cold cracked across your knees, and your hands fell out in front of you. The floor. Your legs had given out and you were sobbing uncontrollably on the sterile, frigid floor.

With a stuttering chest, you hugged your knees and cried into them. “I was never supposed to be here, none of this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to graduate and work in the Stormtrooper Hub and live a boring, mundane life.” Crushing pain flooded your chest, and your next words were nastier than you meant them to be. “A boring, mundane life where I fucked the physician until the day I died.” You looked up at him, then, and he was only a blurry outline of black and orange and purple. “Because that’s what I am to you, right? Just some slut who fucks all the men in her life.”

You scraped at your wet, burning eyes and a sob hitched in your throat. Kylo looked down at you, and you could feel the violent emotion that lived in his blackened eyes. But he said nothing, and when the silence pressed into you, the thought that came to mind was too loud to keep inside.

But that riotous thought came out on the meager dying breath of a whisper. “If your biggest concern right now is that I want to fuck Mason, then I have… I have deluded myself into believing that you care for me. That you ever cared for me.” The truth of it burned your tongue, and your chest ached for the death of the future you’d come running for.

Kylo didn’t look away from you for a long moment, and though he remained guarded, you saw something tense in his eyes. It wasn’t anger but sorrow. Sorrow and fear hidden behind a cracked mask. But then the notch in his throat moved and he turned away.

Anticipating his departure, you shut your eyes and braced yourself for the hydraulic hiss. Memories of the past few months flooded your mind’s eye, and you questioned if all this time it had been one-sided and imagined. The idea tore through you, and your chest hollowed when you thought of all the times you’d considered so dear could have only been ploys so he could control you, so he’d have access to his little fascination whenever he wanted.

The storm of thoughts overwhelmed you, but when you heard a drawer-release in the distance, muffled by the blood pounding through your skull, you lifted your head and opened your eyes to find Kylo hadn’t left. He was looking at you from across the room, his face haunted with a stabbing emotion you couldn’t quite place. His hands, glove-free now, held something, and when you caught view of it Kylo started toward you.

He didn’t stop until he stood just a stride in front of you, and when you stared up at him you saw his jaw was set, yet anger remained absent from him, still that sorrowful fear, but now it was softer, yielding. He took a silent breath, his shoulders rising evenly, and then you gasped and jolted upright as he folded himself to the floor before you and sat.

You gulped, gawking at him, noting he held an… IV starter kit?

“What are you doing?” you asked, taking in how awkward his massive form looked as he sat with his legs open and his knees slightly bent.

He said nothing, dropping the IV kit to the floor between his legs and proceeding to unclasp and shrug off the top layers of his uniform. He watched his hands while doing so, allowing you to observe him without the weight of his eyes pressing into you. He kept his eyes away until his chest was bare and you saw his biceps flex and flow as he placed the last of his clothing to the side.

Kylo picked up the sealed kit with one hand and your own in his other. He clasped the kit into your palm and pinned you with his gaze. “You are not a fascination,” he stated, clarity ringing in his voice.

He dropped your hand, only after squeezing it between his own, and then gripped the sides of your thighs and pulled you between his spread legs. You swallowed, heart thumping hard when he positioned your face just a breath from his.

He never looked away from you, and you couldn’t take your eyes from his, so when he next spoke you felt each powerful word kiss your cheeks and sink into your soul. “You are the light that has shown me my way.”

All at once, your heart stopped. Words refused to form. The harsh knit of his brow softened, and he lifted his forearm to rest on his flexed knee. With an unsteady, almost nervous emotion, he said, “You have not deluded yourself,” your name was a faint yearn off his tongue. “I care for you.”

He held his palm open and up, and the tips of his fingers played with the tab of the kit still resting in your hand, slight tremors coursing through your fingers. “Make this even. Use this,” he nudged the plastic container again, “and right the wrong I caused.”

It took a moment for your mouth to catch up with your brain, and when you finally spoke, your voice was small and weak. “I don’t know what you think will be proven by me placing an IV in your arm.”

“Just do it,” he urged, “because this won’t work unless you trust me, and-,”

“I can’t trust you if you don’t tell me what “this” is, Kylo,” you said, and it was louder than you’d meant for it to be. But you peeled open the kit and scooted back from Kylo so you could begin prodding at his arm for a good vein.

As you looked, finding bountiful fat, bouncy, obvious veins poking just under his skin, you felt him watching you. He pumped his hand a few times, and the sight of his veins and muscles swirling and popping dizzied you for a moment, a steady pulse now throbbing between your thighs. When your fingers danced down one particular vein, the one you’d admired while he slept this morning, you pressed against its spongey prominence and trailed it all the way down to his wrist.

“Your veins are literal artwork,” you sighed, but you hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

There was a fragment of amusement in Kylo’s brow, but he brushed over your compliment like you wished he would. “If I tell you what “this” is, “this” won’t work.”

“Then I guess I won’t trust you,” you said, sassy and defiant.

“Mm, that won’t work for either of us,” he rumbled, and you wanted to slap him for his sly tone.

You flicked his vein and reached for the kit, but there were no gloves, and you needed a saline flush. And an alcohol wipe. “You know, it’s a bad look when you come ill-prepared for any procedure,” you said, looking at him before standing and searching for your supplies, “it makes you look like you have no idea what you’re doing.” Once you had what you needed, you gave him a pointed stare as you walked back to him, looking down at him as you said, “It creates a lack of trust between patient and provider.”

There was that whispered amusement in his brow again, the same in the set of his mouth. “What happens if the provider doesn’t trust the patient?”

“Then the patient gets a dose of Ativan and goes to sleep so the provider can do her job effectively.” You knelt within the cradle of his hips again and repositioned his arm so you had better access to it. Using the cleanser provided in the kit, you scrubbed his arm, a bit more forcefully than you needed to, but it wouldn’t hurt him. And if it did… so be it.

You could feel the humor he found in your feisty comments. It irked you. You continued, staring him dead in the eye while you snapped the rubber tourniquet above his elbow. “Or if the chemical restraint isn’t appropriate, there’s always good old-fashioned mechanical ones.”

“Is that what you want to do to me, nurse?” Kylo purred, and even though it was infuriating that he was leaning into your anger, the tone of his voice made your legs quiver. “You want to tie me up and have your way with me?” Kylo hummed and it went straight to your center. “Seems like I’d have to trust my provider for that to occur.”

“You have no reason not to trust your provider,” you said blandly, priming the extension tubing with saline.

“And what do blatant lies do to your all-important patient-provider relationship?”

That stopped you. And what squeezed something deep in your heart were the hard eyes you found when looking back to him. You swallowed a gasp, your throat bobbing harshly. “What are you saying?”

“You know what I’m saying.” There was a cautious chill to his tone, like he fully believed what he was alluding to.

It wilted your insides. “You think I lie to you? You think I’ve lied to you?”

“You have. Many times. You’re lying to me even now.” Without taking his eyes from yours, Kylo nudged the open IV kit. “Continue. You’re getting to my favorite part.”

“I’m not going to continue. I can’t. Not after you tell me you… tell me you think I’m lying to you.”

“Continue and I’ll explain.” He was all too casual for what he was saying, and the half-grin he gave you was more alarming than comforting. “A compromise.”

A deep breath did nothing to fill your lungs, but you gave him a small nod and turned back to his arm. The tourniquet had been on for a while, and you’d rather not bruise your pride further from a blown vein so you released the knot.

“I’m letting those veins rest for a few minutes.” You swallowed, tugging at your bottom lip with your teeth. “Explain, I guess.”

Again, he didn’t look angry with you, and you didn’t know what to think of the firm calmness he was exhibiting. But he tightened his jaw for a moment and began.

“To start, the first night you were assigned to me. You weren’t there. And I’m sure you remember the outcome of that.”

Heat rose to your cheeks as you remembered him pulling your head back as water rocketed down your throat, burning your lungs. A shiver slid down your back. “I apologized for that. And it technically wasn’t a lie, as I explained that same night. Your ship got back early.”

“And then the time you stumbled in drunk in the middle of the night.” He went on as if you hadn’t said anything, and you swore there was a faint fond smile tugging at his lips.

“I apologized for both of those occurrences. And, in my defense, you hadn’t shown up for curfew until the night I got home late. You were never there, not when I got home and not when I left for the medbay. I didn’t see you for a week.”

“But I saw you,” he said, and it struck you silent. “My training with Snoke was unpredictable, but I always found myself… checking to see if you were there. It was always in the early hours of the morning when I got back, so you were sleeping.” He swallowed hard before he spoke again, like he didn’t want to admit whatever it was. “I liked seeing you so peaceful. You were never peaceful around me.”

You stared at him in awe, the tourniquet limp in your hand, and no words dared come to mind as he continued.

“So when you weren’t there the night I’d finally made it home before midnight, something in me… I realized that you’d started to mean something more to me. More than the fascination I thought you were.” His eyes were practically burning now, and your heart squeezed tight in your chest. “And then I carried you to your bed and saw you’d kept my cape from the previous week. And I knew if I allowed myself to let you keep it, that I’d be permitting whatever I felt then to give into that more. So I took the cape, and I decided that would be the end of it.” His throat bobbed. “I wanted that to be the end of it.”

Truthfully, your head was swimming in all he was saying. You didn’t know how to deal with it, and you found yourself staring at the floor, thinking back to that night a few months back, thinking about how you’d wanted him to stay. And now it was more haunting, knowing that he’d felt similar to you then, and you’d just accused him of never caring for you.

Kylo’s large hand came into view and tugged gently on the limp tourniquet threaded through your fingers. “My veins have rested long enough. Continue.”

The weight of his eyes was back and it took a moment to take yours away and focus back on his arm. Sitting between his legs was… nice, but it would be awkward angling a needle from this position. So you fixed yourself to straddle his thigh, sitting back on your heels and resting his hand palm-up on your thigh.

“Comfortable?” Kylo asked, and you heard his slight grin in the word.

“Shut up,” you grumbled, extremely aware of the heat of his leg pressing against your sex, against the pair of briefs you took from him this morning.

“I thought you wanted me to explain?”

You sucked your teeth and snapped the tourniquet in place in the same second. A low chuckle rumbled from Kylo, and you felt heat rise to your cheeks, so confused by his casual demeanor.

Gliding a gloved finger along your chosen vein, you whispered, “Continue,” before activating the cleansing sponge and scrubbing along his arm vigorously.

His nails brushed along your inner thigh and you swallowed a gasp, but when you grabbed the needle, he spoke up. “When we got back to Starkiller, and you chose to stay in the medbay after seeing what that stormtrooper had done.” Kylo broke off, deep, seething anger simmering along the mention of Robbie. “The next morning I found you’d slept there, completely open to harm from anyone who wanted to cause it—”

“Those doors are coded to badge access. I was fine.”

“So was your residence, but he found a way, didn’t he?” The harshness of his tone stole your focus, and you found his set jaw and knew that harshness wasn’t for you, but for the one he spoke of. “You weren’t safe and when I found you’d slept there that night, I was…”

Kylo looked at you with hard eyes, and you thought you knew what he wanted to say – or what he couldn’t say, really. “You were… concerned?”

“No,” he said, “I was enraged.” He swallowed. “Not with you, or that stormtrooper. With myself.”

The intensity of his gaze was too much, so you looked down and turned the bevel of the needle upward and began to angle it against his skin. “Why,” you whispered, voice a mere rasp.

“Because I should have killed him the moment we landed back on Starkiller.”

The words boomed through the small room, the rich violet of the sinking sun curling around the chilled tone of Kylo’s voice. A halo of fire lit his folded frame from behind, and you thought it matched that which now lived in the molten amber of his eyes. You realized in that moment that Kylo blamed himself for Robbie, and he’d just told you a truth he’d known for a long time.

You went to speak, but his other hand came to the one you grasped the needle with and pressed so the metal tip advanced beneath his skin. A curse fell from your agape mouth when his touch left and you saw blood return, advancing the IV catheter quickly and watching as crimson threatened to spill out. You released the tourniquet and fumbled with the extension tubing, securing it and flushing the vein with saline, something of pride and relief spreading through your chest as you met no resistance.

The next steps went by quickly – clamping the tubing, placing the transparent dressing over top, securing with extra tape, and slipping off your gloves – but you felt Kylo’s eyes on you the whole time. He was patient, and he shifted his leg and made you wince as it hit just the right spot, so when you finished gathering your trash and looked up again, you didn’t expect to find him with an expression of such… fondness. Still tense, but strong and unyielding, reverent almost.

“What he did to… to me, it is not your fault, Kylo.” You clasped your hand over his that rested on your thigh.

“It’s not your fault,” Kylo corrected, and you knew he meant it. He squeezed your hand and pulled you nearer, his leg pressing into that bundle of nerves and making you shiver. “And maybe it’s not mine either, but that doesn’t change the fact that I wanted to kill him.”

“Why does that matter?”

He took a long pause and sighed, searching your eyes and looking at your lips when he said, “I shouldn’t have cared that he hurt you, or that he took you out in the first place. I shouldn’t have cared that you didn’t consider that I would have kept you safe, or that I would have wanted you with me that night and not alone on a freezing exam table.” He swallowed. “And I should never have cared so much that you went to McCarty the next night, even when you’d agreed to come to me.”

You licked your lips, unsure when you said, “I was scared that the Board would see me on surveillance. You knew that.”

“Yes,” he said and huffed out something that resembled a tired laugh. “I knew that and yet I still wanted you with me. Because I am selfish and consider you something of an invaluable piece of me.”

A piece of him, you thought, dizzied by the outpouring of truth he was allowing. You skated your thumb along the veins of his hand, heart racing as the sun continued to set behind him. In a whisper, you asked, “But why should you have never cared about… those things? I… I like that you cared about them.”

He leaned into you after a slow second, and his forehead met yours. His breath warmed your face before he said, “I should never have cared about them because it meant that I cared about you. That I care about you.” He said, and when you gasped you felt him shudder. “I care about you, and that makes you a pawn in games you aren’t even aware of. And that isn’t your choice. It is wholly unfair to you for me to make you a target for my enemies.”

“I think I know at least one of the games I’m a pawn in,” you said, voice so shaky you could barely recognize it. He stilled, and you took one hand from his and grasped the back of his neck, threading your fingers through his sun-emblazoned hair. “And Kylo, what if it is my choice?”

“Then I am every bit the monster people know me to be.” Kylo said it more to himself, and you wondered why he sounded so haunted in that moment.

“You’re not a monster, Kylo. At least, you aren’t my monster.”

“No, you killed him.”

“Yes,” you swallowed, and you couldn’t help the hesitance that crept into your voice. “I did.”

Kylo lifted his head from yours then, and you knew he wanted you to keep your eyes on his as he said, “I say that because it’s true and you shouldn’t feel shame for doing so. I told you I wanted to kill him, but I didn’t know how satisfying it would be to hear you say you’d done it yourself.”

“You’re proud that I killed him?”

“I am proud that you did not hesitate.” He swallowed, eyes haunted once more. “I am proud that you recognized your enemy, and you knew what it would take to beat him.”

You didn’t say a word, but you nodded, sliding your hand from his nape to his chest. You searched his eyes as he looked down to where his hand was, and you felt his fingertips find the raised, off-color skin of the initials he’d branded you with. He knit his brow just slightly, and you moved your hand to cup his scarred cheek. He spent several more seconds gazing at the scar he’d given you, but his gaze found yours soon enough.

“I’ll tell you something that I shouldn’t like.” His eyes narrowed a small measure. With the pad of your thumb running along the curve of his healing scar, the black-and-white stitching still there but lesser, you admired him for a long, quiet moment. He continued to trace along your scar, and his leg shifted again, your breath catching before you could stop it.

“You told me you like my scars already.”

A slight smile tilted your lips to the side, but you spoke with little amusement when you whispered, “I like my scar, too.”

Kylo went utterly still, and then he slid his hand up so his heated palm closed over the raised letters on your thigh. “When I did this, I didn’t know…”

“You weren’t supposed to know,” you murmured, and your heart sank to your gut as memories of that horrid day flooded back, images of Snoke’s mangled existence, echoes of Mason’s pained screams ringing through your commlink.

“I could have known.” Again there was no anger in his tone, but something aching, regretful almost.

You brushed a few stray curls back from his face and smoothed a thumb along his temple. “Snoke would have killed Mason. He was monitoring your thoughts that entire day. I had no choice. I told you this yesterday.”

“And as I told you earlier, I am selfish.” He shrugged his shoulders slightly at the same moment you felt his thumb swipe the inside of your thigh. “You could have told me, right after you’d met with him. That’s why you weren’t home when I returned, wasn’t it?” You nodded and he went on. “I should have known something was wrong the second you got back to the Finalizer residence.”

“No you shouldn’t have. That’s the point—”

“No, the point is that you don’t trust me.”

“No, the point is that I couldn’t tell you or imply anything was wrong because Mason—”

“I do not care about McCarty,” Kylo nearly barked, but it was a reined in response by the way his voice lowered at the end. “I don’t care about anyone apart from you, and no matter how duty-bound you felt to protect your friend, you should have come to me.”

“And what would you have done but gotten him killed and risked my life in the process?”

“I will never risk your life,” Kylo seethed, his hand clamping over the scar he’d made. “But that’s the one thing you’re willing to gamble away at any sign of trouble for others, isn’t it?”

“What are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything, I’m only speaking the truth when I say that you are so focused on trying to save everyone around you, that you fail to see how often you jeopardize yourself.” His nostrils flared, but the grip on your thigh lightened, and you didn’t feel threatened by him at all. “I have to be selfish because you will always be recklessly selfless.”

“And is that such a bad thing? I’ve saved two people, three if you count yourself, while being oh so recklessly selfless.”

Kylo’s face fell into incredulity. “And you now have the sweet promise of three more weeks with a pulse. And the added bonus of a chancefor more, but with the swift revocation of your license for however long you live afterward.”

The truth stung, but not quite so much as it did coming from him. “So, what? I should stop helping people?”

“I will never ask that of you,” he stated. “But I do ask that you not get yourself killed in the process.”

“Like you said, it’s probably too late for that.”

He looked at you hard and long, chewing his tongue. His eyes narrowed and he swallowed, staring at you with a thousand thoughts whirling in his gaze. He cleared his throat and fixed his features so he was no longer studying you so much as he was admiring you. Sultry eyes landed on your lips, and the hand over your thigh tightened, his other coming to mirror over your remaining thigh. He reared his leg upward and you yelped as the sudden friction settled into your clit, your torso slamming into the hard muscle of his chest so your arms were flung around his neck.

Kylo shifted you over his thigh, inching you up and back over the hard, thick muscles. His head turned so you felt his nose trace over the shell of your ear, his lips catching your ear lobe for a moment before you sighed from the pleasure of his movements.

He let you breathe for a moment, your fingers dipping into the curl of hair at his nape, his warm breath heating your neck. “Are you trying to distract me?”

“Not entirely,” he rumbled, his thigh inching up another measure, his hands pulling, grinding you against him. A small, contented moan fled your lips when another rush of heat coiled in your belly. “But if I were, I’d say I’m doing a good job of it.”

Your hips shifted of their own volition, a seethe rushed past your teeth, and you felt the day’s torture rush up all at once. Hours and hours of being led and teased with the Force, withstanding Kylo’s earlier intentions to catapult you into ecstasy. Being so close to him now, the heat of his bare chest sinking through the material of your uniform, your thighs straddled against the muscles he’d trained over years and years – you felt yourself giving into his touch.

And maybe it was because of everything he’d just told you, but you felt… better about allowing him to pleasure you now. There was less of an overarching sense that you were nothing but a toy for him. The idea of giving into him now, letting yourself go and enjoying the feel of his massive form under you, it felt good. It felt different from before, and even though you still had questions, mostly pertaining to why he was here in the first place, you knew you wouldn’t deny yourself or him any longer.

As you held onto him, he rocked you back and forth along the length of his thigh, rubbing you just right, keeping a sweet pace and listening as you let out tiny gasps from each synchronized roll of your hips.

“I was angry that I’d allowed myself to feel so much,” he breathed onto your neck as he kept his pace with your hips. “I couldn’t stand the thought that I meant nothing to you, that I was nothing to you.” You felt the flicker of orgasm as your body began to tense, his words an urging caress. “So I marked you as my own, and I watched you bear the pain of it in near silence. I wanted you to react, to scream at me with the shattering rage I knew in that moment. But you didn’t. You were so quiet and still…”

Your arms were going limp around his neck, so you slumped into him. Kylo curled his head further so his lips were pressed against your ear, his voice no louder than the breath of a whisper. “I thought about how just hours before, I’d felt your tears stream down my back, and I couldn’t shake the thought that you’d betrayed me so thoroughly for so long. I was so angry, I couldn’t see you. I couldn’t think of what it meant that you were silent while I cut into you with every ill-intent I felt in that moment. I was blinded by your betrayal, but also my own, because I knew better than to allow myself to get so involved with someone, because I was bested by a weakness that never should have existed. The weakness I created.”

Tendrils of release crept up your chest and you rode the edge of pleasure as your breath panted against his skin and he ground you harder into him. His teeth pulled at your ear lobe and shivers quaked outward along your neck and spine, his touch and words a separate charge toward pleasure.

“You don’t have weaknesses, Kylo,” you panted, barely recognizing your voice. “You are not weak.”

“No, I am not,” he breathed, kissing the hinge of your jaw, “but you are a weakness of mine, a piece of me, and a target because of it.” You whimpered against him as your body sprinted toward sweet release, losing grip on that last fraying string of sanity when Kylo said, his voice ragged and raw, “And I am selfish enough to ask that you trust me. Trust that I will never risk you even though I am a risk to you, because you are an extension of me, and I will defend you as I would my very own flesh and blood.”

In that moment, you felt more than the sexual bliss of orgasm, sinking deeply into the rasped words he’d given life from his tongue, but were born from his heart. His heart that beat so steadily when you lay against it, the heart you’d ran toward so often, even when you hadn’t realized it. Euphoria pulsed through your body as every word and breath he’d just gifted raced around your mind, leaving you to settle into him as you returned to the present.

“Be selfish,” you murmured, breathing heavily. “I will trust you. I do trust you.”

The strength of his arms tight against your back, pulling you into him, was as shocking as it was calming. He was holding onto you, not just holding you, but keeping you to him as tightly and surely as he could.

Through closed eyes you knew the sun would soon be hidden from the sky and taken over by night, but you didn’t care that time was passing. Because as your breath fell into step with Kylo’s own, time might as well have stopped existing.

“Why are you seeing McCarty tomorrow?”

Although the words were quiet, even as he spoke directly against your ear, their sudden presence spread like ice water over your heated skin. It’s not that he spoke with any harsh emotion, just that it shocked the silence you’d been nestled into. The room settled as you took a few more silent moments, but then it occurred to you that you’d never told him that.

“How do you know that I’m seeing him tomorrow?”

Neither of you moved, and you even toyed with a black curl as he said, “I told you I didn’t need to be near you anymore to… sense you.” He sighed, and it melted along the length of your spine. “I heard you at breakfast this morning. Talking to Hux’s provider.”

Swallowing, you braced your hands on his shoulders so you could peel away from him. He didn’t go easily, not tightening his hold but not letting you go either. The palms of your hands pressed gently into the warm skin of his chest, and soon your eyes found his in the faltering light of day. With a kiss of deep purple still hazing through the room, you searched his gaze with your own, and you wondered if the conversation you’d shared with Talia had anything to do with why he was here.

But there was more to that conversation than your plans to see Mason, and you needed to know how much he’d heard. “How does this… sensingthing work? It’s the Force, right?”

Kylo nodded, his hands resting on the curve of your hips. “It’s developed over time. The first time it was like I could hear you speaking right against my ear, but it was like the connection was weak. I could hear you, but it was unclear.”

Slight heat nipped at your cheeks. “It was the morning after I stayed with you on Starkiller, right?” The morning you’d rode your fingers like they were Kylo’s as you wore the briefs he’d put out for you.

“That was a great morning for both of us, I think.”

“I like how easy you’re being right now,” you whispered, and you weren’t sure if you meant to say that aloud.

“I can be hard if you want me to. I am, actually. Very.” A smirk lit his face and he led one of your hands down to the hard press of his prominent erection along the fly of his pants.

“I’m sure we’ll get to that later,” you said, glancing a thumb along his length before placing your hand back on his chest.

“If you’re sure,” he mumbled, and he leaned in to brush his lips against the base of your neck. He pulled away and looked at you, a finger now tracing the length of the “K” etched into your thigh. “Now, though, if I want, I can hear you however far away you are, and it’s like you’re standing next to me.” He cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes, their focus landing on your lips when he said, “I think due to the strengthening of the connection…”

His heart skipped under your palm. It startled you so much you had to stop yourself from flinching. His heart skipped… for me. “Our connection is… stronger now?”

He swallowed, his heart steadied, and he murmured into the dying light, “I want it to be stronger.”

“Why? If you can hear me clearly, why would it need to be strengthened?”

Kylo lifted a hand so it smoothed over one side of your face and found its way to the nape of your neck. “I can hear your words, what you say out loud and to others. But not your thoughts. Never your thoughts.” His expression was far away for a moment, his thumb pressing idle circles along the length of your throat. “Sometimes, though, I feel what you feel. Only recently.”

“What I feel?”

“Strong emotions, mostly.” Kylo continued to stare over your shoulder, and something dark and dangerous settled in his jaw when he paused. “The first time I could recognize it for what it was – recognize it was you– was just before Starkiller fell. It was right after I’d been struck. I remember blinking up, blinking blood out of my eye as I was flat on my back willing myself to get up, and through the pain of my injuries came this surge of…” His nose scrunched, and his lip lifted into something of a snarl. “It felt like I was on fire. Not my face or my side. But like the Force was burning through my whole body. And then I heard you, like you were screaming right next to me, and you were screaming at someone to get off of you.”

Kylo paused, his chest entirely still, like breathing was hard where his mind had taken him. His hand dropped from your nape and absently curled around your wrist, toying with the band of your watch. The pad of your thumb drew slowly along his sternum, and you watched the warm amber of his irises drown in a stark, frigid black.

“And then I wasn’t burning. I felt my own injuries again, and I was no longer trying to move. I was laid out on my back, Starkiller crumbling all around me, and the only thought I had was that…” Kylo shuddered, the hand around your wrist stilled, and his jaw hardened to steel. “I thought you were dead. And I didn’t know why, but that thought stalled me. I should never have cared for you, but especially not then, not when I thought you’d betrayed me.”

Kylo looked at you then, the very last remnants of the sun a muted halo behind him, and whatever breath remaining in your lungs fled under his searing gaze. “I sent a signal to your watch, but that burning didn’t come back.” He swallowed. “You were dead, and I couldn’t… I wouldn’t move. I knew I had to, but all I did was fall into the absence of that burning. The absence of you.”

Once more you thought of how Kylo had looked at you in the dark of the Command Shuttle, remembered how you thought it was wonder or shock. With an ember of breath you croaked, “You thought I was dead.” Such a redundant statement, but you said it and you felt the haunt of that awed expression die away. “You thought I was dead, but then…”

“Then you were there, and I thought I had died.” Kylo slid his hand up your palm and clasped his fingers around yours, squeezing tight and pressing it to the middle of his chest. Just above his heart. “But then I heard your voice again, but it was different. You weren’t in my head, but you were with me. I tried to reach out to you, but I couldn’t. I warred in my mind until I realized you were there, but I wasn’t.”

“The coma.” Kylo had tried to reach out to your voice. You’d thought he hated you then, that he wouldn’t want to be violated by the one who had wounded him so deeply. He told you he’d heard you days ago, but knowing he wantedyou there, even if he never said otherwise – it struck through to your soul.

“I could just barely feel your hands. I heard everything you said and it was agony. To be there, listening to you blame yourself, hearing the guilt and pain in your voice – and not be able to do anything? It felt like I was burning from the inside out.”

Before you could process it, a hand was behind your nape and your mouth was against his. It wasn’t a violent kiss, no thrashing tongues or frantic lips; rather, it was a kiss full of dead regrets and roiling anguish. Kylo claimed your mouth in a slow, steady pace set by a war between pain and need. It was a kiss of mourning and grief.

His lips left yours but only enough so when you breathed, yours would glance off of them. He panted and swallowed, and the hand keeping yours to his chest spread your fingers so you could feel the deep, steady thump of his heart beneath them.

“But that moment, it was me burning, not you. Just before you left, when I felt your lips on mine and pleaded with my body to finally come back to me, your presence was like a salve. It found me through the darkness, and it calmed me, quieted the flames roaring in my mind, and it steadied me.”

As close as he was, he found your eyes, and you felt them sink deeply into your own. “You couldn’t have given me more,” he kissed your name to your lips, “because when I woke up, when I found my body and felt the braids, it was all real to me. You were real to me.” Kylo paused, breathed, and his heart skipped beneath your hand. “You couldn’t have given me more. You were alive. There will never be anything more than that.” He kissed you again, and this time it was hungry, ravenous as he stole your breath and claimed your mouth. “It was everything. It is everything.”

Words were thick in your throat, heavy in your mind, but the whole of what came from your parted lips, between the soft pants of breath that fell from them as he continued to nod his own full mouth into yours, were sighs and gasps of contentedness. In his arms, right now, after all was said and all was done, you thought for a moment that should you have died, you would have gone happily.

It was a feat to pull away from him, but you did, and you watched as the purple and orange of the sun wasted away behind him. “I am seeing Mason tomorrow because he’s letting me grab some clothes for the trial. And he’s been weird since Starkiller. And weirder since getting to Canto Bight. I know you don’t like him much, but he’s important to me, and I need to talk to him.” Kylo’s lashes lowered after his heavy gaze pulled away from you, the hand on your nape going back to trace the scar on your thigh. “Is that why you really came here? Because you overheard me this morning talking about visiting him?”

For a moment he remained quiet, the faintest touch of his fourth finger kissing your skin, but he looked up to you and found your eyes. “I’m here because you were still concerned with the Board, and even Hux, and knew if that was true, that it would also be true that you hadn’t listened to me. That you still didn’t trust me.”

“Kylo—”

“I should never have expected you to trust me so blindly, not after I’ve given you countless reasons not to.” He swallowed then, something of an apology knitting his brows together. “But for your own safety, you cannot know everything—”

“About the elusive “this” you keep referencing?”

“Yes,” he said, and his voice was clear and adamant. “By whatever means, you will survive this trial. Trust in that.”

“Okay,” you said, and you meant it. He’d said a lot today. It was enough. For now, at least. “But may I propose something that maybe you haven’t thought of?”

With a deep, cleansing breath, you took both his hands and dropped them in your lap, dismounting his leg and once more settling in the cradle of his thighs, propped on your knees as you met him with an unfaltering stare. “I will trust you, but you have to trust me back.” You trailed a finger over the secured IV you’d placed. “Trust me with more than your body. Trust me… wholly.”

Kylo seemed off-put by the thought of that, and he studied you for long, seemingly eternal minutes; he looked conflicted, like he was weighing every outcome of what that meant. When you thought he wouldn’t answer, he cleared his throat and said, “I’ve done that before.”

He had, you knew that, but you needed to say something before he decided he wouldn’t do so again. “And the only reason you stopped was because Snoke weaponized me, used me to get to you so he can have you in his arsenal, at his expense whenever he wants. You are more than that, Kylo. More than his or anyone’s to use. Do not let him win. Not again. Not anymore.”

His jaw steeled as each of your hard words met their mark with deadly precision. And when he spoke next, his tongue was a blade, his tone a sharp, unyielding promise. “He’s already lost. He just doesn’t know yet.”

“So it’s settled. I trust you, you trust me.”

There was hesitance, but he gave a single, curt nod. His brows knit for a moment and then his features seemed to soften. “I can get you clothes. Although, I do prefer you without them.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks, but you knew what he was doing, and as endearing as it was, you wouldn’t yield to him on this. “I’m seeing Mason tomorrow, and no amount of dirty words or pretty clothes will change my mind.” You notched a brow. “You’ll just have to trust me, I guess.”

“Already abusing your power,” he purred, and he pulled you into him so your legs opened and splayed over his hips and behind him. “Don’t make me regret this decision.” His tongue traced along your carotid, followed by the plush press of his lips. “At least, not so soon.”

He pushed a hand into your hair and turned your neck to the side, sucking the tender skin until he surely left a mark. His teeth skated along the hinge of your jaw, his lips trailing up your chin until his skillful tongue pushed past the seam of your mouth. It found yours and led you into a breathtaking whirl of sensation. You moaned into him, loving his weighted breath, feeling his cock harden beneath, growing as you rolled your hips into him.

He hummed, slipping his tongue away and sucking your bottom lip, your hands leading into his thick, midnight locks as the room settled in the darkness of night. He nudged his nose into you and teased your lips again, chuckling as you leaned into his efforts and chased his toying mouth.

“Tell me one more thing,” he hummed, and his tone was decadent and rich, a pulse of heat lighting between your legs.

“Anything, Kylo,” you sighed, finally catching his mouth and biting his bottom lip.

“Were you going to mention that your friend is pregnant with the General’s illegitimate kid, or were you hoping I didn’t catch onto that part of your talk this morning?”

Well. If anything was going to kill the mood, that was it.

“You know,” you sighed, bracing yourself on his shoulders and pulling out of his embrace, “as much as I dislike General Hux, mentioning him doesn’t count as dirty talk.”

Kylo chuckled deep in his chest, and his mouth was twisted in a lopsided smirk. He insisted again, not a fowl note in his voice, “Were you going to tell me?”

“It wasn’t my news to tell.” You shoved his shoulder. “And it’s not yours either, understand?”

“Really? I was looking forward to congratulating him and sharing a few cigars with the father-to-be.” You shoved him again and he laughed, appearing so young as he put his hand atop yours and traced his thumb over the back of your hand. “I don’t plan on telling him. And I don’t care if your friend—”

“You are allowed to call her Talia. You’re also allowed to call him Mason, if you didn’t know.”

“I’m not very fond of being on a first-name basis with someone I don’t plan on ever knowing. As for the physician,” his brow ticked as you frowned at the title he used so often, “I just don’t like him.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I don’t care if Harper”—you smiled at the compromise—“tells him or not. I’d actually find it quite funny if she kept it from him until the very last second. He could use a good kick in the pants.”

“So, you really won’t tell him, then?” You pushed a lock of hair back from his temple with your free hand.

He sighed exaggeratedly, and the next thing you knew, you were in the air and being lifted to sit on the edge of the exam table, Kylo’s hands resting on the tops of your thighs. “No, I won’t tell the General of his bastard lovechild. Or maybe I will,” he raised a teasing brow, “I guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

“Oh, really?” you challenged, leading the flat of your hand up the rigid muscles of his chest.

“Really,” he breathed in answer, dipping his head and laving his tongue past your lips, stroking it against your own as his hands caught the hem of your uniform and pulled it from the length of your body.

Your hands lifted for him, and soon you were bare – bare to the cool room, bare to the city that sprawled behind you. Bare to him. The only remaining article was his black briefs. His mouth was on your neck, kissing and biting and sucking along your pulse. Large, bold hands slid down the curved lines of your sides, thumbs petting over your belly. Kylo leaned down to your chest, kissing into the tender flesh, mouthing at the swell of your breast until he pulled a nipple into his mouth and tongued over it, around it, until your head fell back and a long, throaty groan left you.

“I need to taste you,” he breathed, taking his mouth from your breast only for a moment.

A needy hand found the back of his neck, and you pulled him closer as you arched into his mouth, into the heat of his tongue trailing to take your other nipple between his plump, scorching lips. He looked up at you, heated amber seeping into your eyes as you saw his mouth move and felt his tongue draw on the tip of your breast.

Kylo smirked when you shuddered against him, and then his hands left you. There was a metallic squeak, and he popped your breast from his mouth. When you looked down at him next, his eyes were full of mischief and a tantalizing glint that made your heart drop.

Kylo had pulled out a set of stirrups that had been locked beneath the table. And by that damn glint in his eye, you knew his every intention. You knew, too, by that very same glint, you wouldn’t need convincing.

“Trust me?” he asked, and the devil lived in the smirk that spread across his face.

“I probably shouldn’t.”

“Much too late for that.”

Kylo leaned forward like a predator readying to strike. First his mouth found yours, kissing you deeply, his hands cupping the back of your neck. Then, he kissed down to your breasts, tonguing a nipple, looking up at you when he bit down. A rumble rolled in the depths of his chest. Large hands smoothed over the curves of your silhouette, gripped your thighs and led you toward the edge of the table.

He stopped for a moment, his chin skimming your soft belly, his gaze a vice grip on your own. And when he had you positioned as he wanted, his thumbs curled into the briefs’ waistline and he pulled them out from under you. Kylo stopped once he uncovered your sex; keeping his eyes on yours, a tether of pure lust between you, he dipped his head and dragged his nose over your mound. His inhale was self-indulgent, slow and torturous, his eyes slipping back before his lids shut, the smell of you seemingly a drug of the highest potency.

Kylo groaned, inhaling a second time, the fog of his exhale flourishing over your tender, slick flesh. He slipped the briefs free from your legs, holding your ankles in one massive, binding hand.

“As much as I enjoy you wearing what’s mine,” he hummed, a hand under each ankle now, and leaned down to join his nose to the supple skin of your inner thigh, dragging ever closer to the pulse now aching to be attended to, “I admit taking it off you is much more satisfying.” His lips pressed into the sensitive flesh, his hot exhale whispering along the top of you slit. “Ask me why that is.”

Heat was enveloping your body, and your breasts heaved as breath came in short, harsh pants, but when you went to speak, Kylo’s tongue distracted you. Just before the question left your lips, he sucked the skin of your inner thigh and bit down. And as you moaned at the heady sensation – that wondrous pleasure pain – his arm encircled the leg already attended to and blindly placed it into the hard cradle of the stirrup. When it was secure, his hand slinked up the length of your body, grasping your breast while he kissed and sucked and nipped at your left thigh.

“Why,” you breathed out, unsure if you said anything, head spinning impossibly.

“Because,” Kylo crooned, muffled against the tissue he mouthed at, “the clothes are mine, but so are you. And I am undone at the sight of what is mine bared and sprawled for my taking.”

Soft, pretty moans slipped from you when he repeated the process of placing your leg in the second stirrup, his words a sweet poison in your thrumming veins. Once you were settled, and after he’d kissed his way up your calf, he stood between your raised legs – the sight of his purely masculine form laving your nerves with anticipation and lust – and watched, perhaps too intently, as he pushed your legs apart until you were sure you’d split in two.

In the light of fresh dusk, the notch in his throat bobbed, the weight of his gaze settled on the sight of your dripping, desperate cunt. Kylo’s tongue dipped into sight momentarily, glinting when it unthinkingly swept over his bottom lip. His eyes remained steady, the flat of his palms lighting sparks along your inner legs, and you watched as he brushed two long fingers down your folds, parting your sex and slipping through the wetness that was welled there.

Finally, his gaze lifted, the scalding, rich amber of his irises melting into you when the thick tips of his fingers prodded your entrance. Kylo watched you, enthralled, as those fingers sunk into you, deeply, wholly, filling you until you writhed around them.

Eager hips lifted from the table, leveraging the stirrups, guiding him that much deeper. He granted your silent wish, grasping one hip and pulling you forward, leading his fingers back and forth, curling them upward and pressing that oh-so-decadent spot in a paced, torturous pattern. You met him with each thrust, slowly rolling your hips, raising your hands to touch and mold your breasts.

A strong thumb found residence over the aching body of your clit, your answering moan unapologetic and entirely too loud. He rolled his hand over and inside you, stroking and filling you so masterfully that you quickly felt the first stirrings of orgasm.

Right when you were poised to cum, you felt it, felt a third finger push into your cunt, the sensation indulgent and overwhelming. It’s like his hand was lodged so full and far in your body that you could feel him in your throat. Kylo continued stroking your nerve as your hands clutched the edges of the exam table, your back arched and head flung back. The room was filled with sounds of sex, the smell of it too, and it all built on what you knew would be a world-shattering release.

“I feel so full, Kylo,” you moaned.

Before he answered, heat crowded your torso, and the brand of his lips burned the line of your breastbone, the hand that filled you never stalling. “You can take more, though.” His nose nudged the base of your breast, his teeth glancing off of the tender tissue. “You can, and you will.”

He didn’t know what he was saying, because there was no way—

“Oh, fuck,” you mewled, throaty and deep, when you felt a fourth finger fill your brimming cunt. “Kylo, there’s… oh, I can feel you… everywhere. You’re everywhere.”

It was no lie, the flow of his four thick, long fingers deep inside your soaked pussy engulfed every nerve you had, and the way his thumb continued to stroke your clit made it so you felt like your soul would float from your body.

But then that thumb left, Kylo moved down the length of your abdomen, kissing and claiming, until you felt his tongue draw against that bundle of nerves. The hand that grasped your hip anchored your writhing body to the table, but the press of his fingers suddenly deepened. Then, just as suddenly, occurring in the very same breath, you felt his thumb join those other four fingers.

A guttural, animal cry born from the deepest depths of your lungs filled the room and shattered against the night-peering transparisteel. His whole hand, fisted and tight, moved against you, filled you unthinkably, and snapped the last coil of sanity that bound your body and soul. His mouth sucked your clit, his tongue striking you with tight, paced licks.

It was all too much, he was too much – his hand, his mouth – your body bowing from the table, legs shaking and sweaty. Every sensation drenched your skin, every shared word blared through your mind, and ecstasy rushed you with a force that rivaled that which precipitated the fall of Starkiller.

Luminous, you were a nebula at the mercy of a black hole. Though you knew the deep pull of him left you broken and breathless, you found yourself surrendering to it, and it called to you just the same. He blazed with darkness while you drowned him with light; in this moment, neither of you could tell where one ended and the other began.

Slowly, the world around you reentered your thoughts. The sound of heavy, breathless pants spilled from your parted lips. A branding heat covered your front, and your hand had at some point come to tangle into Kylo’s hair, scratching the back of his head in idle patterns. There was a slight ache coming from the now vacant space of where he’d just had his hand, but it was pleasant in a way. You opened your eyes, and you couldn’t help your gasp.

The stars were out tonight. They looked so different from when you were in space, far away yet crowding every inch of the evening sky. Clusters twinkled on one end, groups seemingly traveling together. Every so often, as you spent minutes on your back admiring the night’s speckled beauty, a hazy cloud would drift in and out of view. Some were a dusky orange, others a lush violet that cast such complementary shadow over the backdrop of the star-brimming sky.

“The stars are out,” you murmured, melting into the feel of his weight covering you.

Kylo didn’t say anything, but you felt the soft press of his lips dip into your belly. Then lower, and lower. His actions carried no sexual intent, and you soon learned why.

A certain reverence lived in the hand that brushed over the scar etched into your left thigh. Kylo’s thumb swept over the raised, healed lines of his initials, circling the area over and over again. Soon, the warm breath of his exhales grazed the exposed skin, and you gasped when you felt the familiar touch of his lips.

He kissed the flesh there, a kiss of longing, a kiss full of silent… apology? No, not apology. Not sorrow or remorse. It was a kiss of gratitude, and you thought you could hear the soft murmurings of words too quiet to comprehend just as he pressed his lips again to those two precise etchings that would live on you forever.

You lifted your left leg from the stirrup and led it down his back, hooking it around his hips before leading the other in the same path. He looked at you then, and you leaned up and cupped his jaw in your hands before pulling him up and kissing him softly. He held your waist and lowered his head as you moved your mouth against his.

When your hands led down the pane of his abdomen, you broke away from him and held his eyes in your own. Even with so little light, there was something bright about them now, like the smoking embers of a long-burned fire. The scar that cut through his features was healing, you regarded, and you made a mental note to have a physician remove the black-and-white stitching that remained nestled across his cheek.

His eyes narrowed for a second, but he turned away before you could question it. Kylo took your discarded clothes from the floor and helped you redress. His touch was achingly gentle, such a contrast to what you knew he could do to people with the strength imbedded in his soul. Soon the hooks of your bra were met and the light caress of his briefs returned to your hips. You held your arms up as he slid your uniform over your head and onto your waiting body.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Kylo nodded and began gathering his clothes. You slid from the exam table and slipped your shoes on, wandering to the wall of windows and peering out over the city. It was truly magnificent, especially now that it surrounded you with all the life of night buzzing down below. It carried this silent threat that it could swallow you whole if you allowed it.

Then, from the corner of your eye, you spotted what Quynnland had been staring at so intently. It was closer now, and you could see that it was a large, hollow structure. It was a racing track, like you’d thought, but it was enormous. There was movement inside of it, but even squinting you couldn’t quite catch any detail of what was going on.

Warm hands met your shoulders, and you knew he wore his gloves now. “Why are you staring at the fathier track?”

“Fathiers?” you wondered aloud, leaning into him and clasping a hand over one of his.

“Racing creatures that serve as entertainment to the corrupt wealth that live in this city. Impressive beings, really.” He leaned down and his lips caressed the shell of your ear. “What’s interested you with them?”

“I had a patient today. He told me his brother is there. His kid brother.” You swallowed, offput by the memory of how helpless Quynnland had sounded, had appeared as he told you this. “He asked me to get him away from there.”

Kylo tensed behind you, and a long push of breath fogged the side of your neck. “Always trying to save everyone.”

“I won’t get myself killed. I promise.” You sighed, running your hand down the length of his arm. “Did you take that IV out? You should have let me help.”

“I’m healing, not incapacitated.” Kylo took a step back from you and you turned, seeing him waiting for you at the door. “We should get back to the Consulate. I’m sure your shadow has given her report by now.” A half-smirk pulled his mouth up.

“Why does it look like you think that’s a good thing?” You walked over to him and he activated the door, the two of you stepping out and meandering through unfamiliar halls.

“If he suspects that there is something going on between you and I, Hux would likely use that information when he testifies next week. But, to claim you had inappropriate relations with me would force him to publicly acknowledge that all similar relations between any provider and their assignment are inherently inappropriate…”

Kylo pulled open a door and let you pass, the two of you walking toward a transport docking bay stationed at the top of the medical structure. When you stood in front of a familiar transport, he stopped next to you and you watched as the entrance descended to let you in.

Kylo stepped forward, his boots heavy on the ramp, and he turned and looked at you with features gilded in prideful victory. “As much as Armitage Hux dislikes you and hates me, he is an intelligent man. He would never make himself appear so weak by publicly contradicting himself by shaming you for fucking your assignment when he is actively doing the same with his provider.”

He spoke so powerfully, it was like the night around you had quieted to hear him. You took a breath, all the air having seeped from your lungs under the weight of his adamant eyes. “And you’re sure of that?”

Kylo held out a gloved hand, offered it to you before he said, his voice the deepest caress, “Do you trust me?”

In that moment, with the night cloaking you from the city, with the words he’d earlier spoken echoing around your mind, and the touch he’d painted your body with that was altogether yearning and claiming at once, you knew you did. Wholly and completely, and perhaps too much, you trusted him.

So you took his hand, and you looked up at him with the same strength that lived in his eyes, and said, without a single doubt in your mind, or your heart, “Yes, Kylo. I trust you.”

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren smut #kylo ren imagine #smut #fluff #angst #st kyp #keeping your promise

[touchmycoat]

Are there any media or books that do good whump? I know you said you were not satisfied with the level in 成化。I feel spoiled by fanfic, especially if the whump cones with plenty of comfort, since pro media doesn't spend much time on comfort. Are there any novels or dramas that you think does a good job of whump?

oh boy yeah, I keep the last arc of 無雙 open in a phone tab for easy access at any moment specifically for whump food lmfao. I know what you mean, fic does such a phenomenal job of really indulging in both sides of the h/c. Yeah my primary complaint with 成化 was that it 1) didn't have enough whump, but 2) for the whump it did have it never leaned into it in a satisfying enough way.

But Peerless does!!! And Thousand Autumns for sure. The stabbing scene in Peerless is also really fucking good (with the escape-from-the-cave followup), so is the FX-tries-to-White-Fang-CBQ arm breaking scene. Thousand Autumns' whump is more specifically flavored with rapey vibes which I also appreciate a lot lmao. I know I reread the Mu Tipo bit, the Yu Ai reunion bit, the [REDACTED] bit, and all the noncon kissing a lot. All these specifically felt like Meng Xi Shi handfeeding me good food and winking, ykwim?

Along those lines, SQ's VA in the Thousand Autumns audio drama famously got lightheaded at the end of filming every day for the first good bit because he had to do so much breathless panting and noises of pain. So I highly recommend that too lmfao.

水千丞 is pretty famous for having 渣攻 characters, if you're into the emotional "he's into me but he's a dick to me" whump. I gave 娘娘腔 a try once upon a time but it wasn't really my thing. My mom recommends it tho!

OH OH OH NOT A DANMEI REC but one of my fav whumpy female lead romance hijinks novels is 桃花折江山 by 白鷺成雙. It's hot and sexy and I cried at the end. Novel begins with MC realizing ML is trying to kill her and it's about how she repeatedly survives his attempts by figuring out all the political impetus behind them and resolving it. 春日宴 is another really good novel by the same author, also whumpy and hilarious in the same way. 桃花折江山 is conniving man falls for clever woman, 春日宴 is grumpy babyboy has misunderstood his sexy indulgent jiejie this whole time. There is also ofc 春閨夢裏人 with its I'm-supposed-to-hate-you-but-you're-so-politically-savvy-and-capable-that-you've-become-the-only-one-I-trust-to-survive-my-love story. Also whump, but a lot more of it is the MC bearing it herself (though husband does try to repent for this for the entire last arc). Choose your fighter.

薄霧 has arcs that are whumpier than others (the world-falling-apart-running-on-the-train bit and the rubik's cube puzzle come to mind) bc the MC's got a special ability that pains him.

劍名不奈何 also definitely has a 好可憐的男主啊 plot, plenty of physical and emotional whump, and canon comfort!! (funny enough, I think canon kind of went to excess on the comfort, where it kind of felt like the MC just stopped doing anything after the ML realized the extent of MC's hurt. But it's still a good read!)

I NEARLY FORGOT 天涯客 but ig it's pretty well-known now 'cause of WOH. I reread the Puppet Manor scene where they sleep in the same bed and WKX realizes for the first time just how punishing nights are for ZZS. But also it has my favorite vibe when it comes to whumpees. My favorite passage:

那日周子舒在溫客行懷裡縮了半宿，以至於溫客行第二日都有些誠惶誠恐——他知道身上有傷肯定要受罪，卻不知道要受這麼大的罪，這一心疼起來，便將周子舒當成個瓷人似的，再不敢動手動腳地跟他瞎鬧了。

可誰知他誠惶誠恐地觀察了兩天，發現這周瓷人簡直沒心沒肺到了一定的境界，是個記吃不記打的，每天破曉，疼勁過去了，他就也好像撂爪就忘一般，該打趣打趣，該罵娘罵娘，洗把臉便能洗去一臉憔悴，早飯的時候繼續下箸如飛神采奕奕，絲毫不客氣，發揮完全正常。

心裡就明白，有些人天生不是嬌貴的命，憐惜他還不如去憐惜頭豬，真是浪費感情。

My coworker sent me this thread for physical whump reference hahahah. There's a handful of recs on there too.

#unfortunately i don't really watch dramas so i can't rec those TTTTT #these are the only books i've...read #kdsjfnkjsdf #long post #hope this helps....!!! and you haven't already read all of them lmfao #anon #danmei #chinese novels

[snickeringdragon]

so, reposting this bc i realised reblogs dont seem to appear on searches on tumblr lmfao

lighthearted rant abt why the galarian fossil pokemon shouldnt be alive!!/pos

ill go in dex order, dracozolt-arctozolt-dracovish-arctovish

dracozolt!! the combination of the bird and drake fossils, by far the LEAST fucked up of the galarian fossils, but it still has some clear issues to point out

after analyzing the living halves AND the fossils/descriptions you can pretty easily figure out what all 4 of the halves are roughly based after, the draco half causes some confusion but after the dex states that dracozolt is herbivorous, and the front half zolt clearly being a species of small feathered dromaeosaurid like raptors (possibly something like microraptor or archeaopteryx due to the bird fossils description stating it could fly, which no dromaeosaurs did but some were thought to glide!!) and those basically all being carnivorous, we can figure out draco is the herbivorous half, leading me to believe its some type of stegosaurid now, with a front half thats carnivorous and a back half thats herbivorous thats GOT to cause some issues, not getting proper nutrition, not having proper ways to digest certain things one half needs, etc, if we go with what the dex says (which the dex is CLEARLY not very reliable for these pokemon but lets just use it here) that its herbivorous the zolt half could be receiving malnutrition and having trouble eating the correct food the center of balance!

its probably thrown off by the obvious size difference and the fact that stegosaurids are quadrapeds, while dracozolt is a biped. if it falls over its pretty fucked but thats pretty normal for large theropods tbh

there could be some issues with body temperature, but im not sure, smaller things get colder faster and bigger things get hotter faster

thats all i have to say for dracozolt!!

Arctozolt

arctozolt is the combination of the dino and bird fossils and was my first galar fossil! theyve got some VERY clear issues and a few less clear ones to address, but they are Definitely not enjoying coming back from the dead 💖

first, what IS the arcto half? judging by what we can see i think its most likely to be a type of plesiosaur, it could also be some other aquatic reptiles like ichthyosaurs but i think plesiosaurs are more likely

arctozolt is. cold. duh, the freezing half of an ice type plesiosaur and a small dromeasaur is probably leaving lil zolt pretty chilly and uncomfortable, please give them a scarf

if you take a look back at dracozolt and compare to arctozolt, youll notice the upper torso and most of the arms are inside arctos? blubber? scales? one of those two! not only does this leave the hands nearly useless it also means that if the bones, muscle, flesh, etc, are still present it could definitely cause some health issues, including messing with organs

arctozolt is CLEARLY not supposed to be walking, a terrestrial animal was combined with an aquatic one to result in uh. broken flippers probably, aquatic animals can get VERY heavy and the flippers were clearly never designed to handle that weight, its likely highly uncomfortable to walk on them and probably causes many injuries including broken bones

Dracovish

oh FUCKING boy/lh the combination of the drake and fish fossils dracovish is a NIGHTMARE of a pokemon, a head on a tail, an aquatic creature combined with a terrestrial one, a carnivore combined with an herbivore, this is my least favorite galar fossil

firstly, whats the vish half? this is the only galarian fossil you can get an exact genus for, vish is almost certainly based of dunkleosteus, a prehistoric fish that had one FUCK of a jaw!

now, as stated above the picture dracovish has the same conflicting diet issue dracozolt has, draco being an herbivore and vish most likely being a carnivore like dunkleosteus, i wont go into too much detail because i already did with dracozolt

center of balance comes up once again, i dont think i need to elaborate much but with how it just. Is. theres no way this guy walks very straight, its also fucked if it falls just like dracozolt

dracovishs head is attached to its tail, that parts obvious, but this is CERTAINLY ***HIGHLY*** uncomfortable, stegosaurid tails should NOT be bent like that as well as just the effort it most likely takes to keep it up, also its head is upside down if it actually puts its tail back down, ALSO the spiky plates on dracos tail could very well harm itself if it gets too unlucky so.

dracovish has no throat unless cara liss decided to ACTUALLY put effort into these frankensteins monsters and put a throat in the tail theres no way it can uh. really do anything, eat, breathe air, drink water, yea

speaking of breathing!! does it? have lungs? the front half of draco being cut off could make it so theres no lungs, and vish most likely doesnt even have gills and if it DID have FUNCTIONING gills thatd bring up a whole NEW issue about how this thing CANT swim, no buts it just Cant

SPEAKING of it not having specific organs, does it have a HEART??? does it???? does it???????

theres so much about dracovish i probably forgot something/srs anyways!

Arctovish

arctovish is the combination of the dino and fish fossils, and the last one of the galarian fossils!!!!!

arctovish is probably the normalest LOOKING of the galarian fossils, until you realise its. head is on upside down, the pokedex, although unreliable for these pokemon i have a reason to believe what it says here, states this:

it has "trouble eating its prey" and "breathing difficulties" caused by its flipped head

it could have issues similar to arctozolt because of the freezing ice type arcto, but i feel itd be better than arctozolts issues

so uhhh thats it! thats my whole ass essay on why the galarian fossils are in constant pain/cant Live!

i spent an hour of my life on this, please reblog it/lh

#pokemon #dracozolt #arctozolt #dracovish #arctovish #galar fossils #fossil pokemon #im not putting all the tags i had on the original post here/lh #anyways #have a good day tumblr dot com users!! #edit bc i forgor 💀 the dracovish image BAHAKSHKSH