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this-is-krikkit · 28 days

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Hii! If you're taking prompts then can you plz do some levihan on this:

'I've been born in the wrong timeline and the wrong gender!'

'And you realized that after sixteen years?'

hello! you're the first anon i don't feel i have to apologize to for taking too long to reply to a prompt lmao, hope you'll enjoy this!

of swords and crushes (1.4k words)

tags: levihan, modern AU (coffee shop AU if you squint), game of thrones references but you don't need to be a big fan to get em, GOT-typical violence mentioned

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“I’m telling you, I was born in the wrong timeline and the wrong sex!” Hange exclaims, trading their branded apron for their civilian coat and giving a last minute check to the coffee shop for any obvious task they might have forgotten.

Levi clicks his tongue at them, not for the first time that day, and gestures for them to leave out the front door with him.

“And you only realized that after sixteen years, while watching a blockbuster series about sword fights and magic?”

“Yes! No? I don’t know, I just know I want to be a knight!” they whine, using the tone they know their coworker can hardly stand.

“You want to be a knight, or you want to do one of them?”

“Levi! How dare you put your dirty thoughts into my pure and innocent mind!”

“I may not watch that shit show myself, shitty glasses, but I’ve seen enough screen caps and memes to know no one innocent watches it. Not with those casting choices anyway.”

Hange’s glasses reflect the setting sun and hide their eyes even as they grin devilishly at him, and he groans at his own slip up.

“Oh, you’ve seen enough screen caps to have an opinion then? Tell me, which one strikes your fancy, Neat Freak? The sadist bastard who tortures people into becoming his slaves, or the annoyingly rich golden boy who had three kids with his own sister?”

He just stares at them for a minute, then shakes his head as he locks the front door.

“I swear this show gets worse every time I hear about it,” he mumbles under his breath. “Either way, the one I like best has green eyes, and I think his father was in Lord of The Rings or something?”

“Oh… You mean, Robb Stark?”

Levi glares their way, because how the fuck would he know, again? But Hange, as always immune to his stink eye, just pulls their phone out and hands it over after a quick search.

“Here, is that him? Oh my God, you’re blushing, it’s totally him!” they squeal before Levi can even confirm it with words.

“Shut up and help me pull this down,” he requests, gesturing to the iron shutter they have to secure before leaving. “He is cute,” he still feels the need to argue defensively as Hange complies.

They chuckle and bump their shoulder to his when they squat down to help him with the heavy padlock that secures the system in place.

“He is,” they agree with a reassuring smile, before letting a sigh out. “Shame that he dies in season three though.”

“What? I thought he was, like, the main character!”

“Well, he is, until, you know... he gets his throat slit at his cousin’s wedding, right after he sees his pregnant wife getting stabbed straight into her belly.”

Levi picks up his jaw from the floor and turns to face his coworker, waiting to see if there’s any chance they could be trying to pull one on him —they don’t usually have a strong enough poker face to actually trick him, but they’ve surprised him before in the year they’ve been sharing shifts on this shitty part time job.

“She dies too, of course! Along with everyone who was with them then,” Hange adds right away, like that’s somehow reassuring.

“Why the fuck do you watch this shit, Four Eyes?” he asks, genuinely confused about it all.

“Ah, sorry, I know you’re weird about this stuff. We can talk about something else if you want,” they offer with a sheepish smile, scratching the back of their neck in discomfort.

“I’m not weird about it,” Levi corrects, dismissing their concern with a wave of his hand, “and it’s fine to discuss. I just don’t like violence for the sake of violence, or for shock value. Feels lazy to me.”

“That’s not all there is to it!”

He gives them a pointed glance, and Hange has the decency to blush a little.

“Okay, it’s probably a big part of it… But the plot does justify it most of the time so far, and some characters are really interesting and fun to try to figure out, I think you’d enjoy it! Besides, the fighting scenes are so badass, Levi!”

They launch into a mock choreography of what he can only assume is one of those scenes, and Levi doesn’t bother holding back a chuckle as he walks alongside them. He ignores the puzzled looks from people who pass them by, throwing a glare or two whenever someone dares to stare for too long with judging eyes.

“How do you have so much energy after the shift you just pulled on top of a day in class, for fuck's sake? I really feel like I’m the older one here sometimes.”

And alright, Levi does have another, early and demanding job to go to while other kids his age are in school, which might explain his own state of tiredness. But Hange truly is something else, stamina-wise.

“That’s because you’re an old soul, Levi, whereas I’m brand new and enthusiastic about what the world has to offer! And about swords!”

“Yeah, right. Why don’t you sign up to fencing lessons and get it out of your system for good?”

“Sure, let me give up this side job I only took for the fun of it, ask my imaginary butler to fetch my thousand dollars allowance from my billionaire parents and I’ll do just that!”

He bites the inside of his cheek to prevent his smile from stretching too wide, even though he knows Hange will be able to tell they got him with that one anyway.

“Point taken,” he gives in.

The walk back to their subway station is silent, a little less comfortable than usual when they’re both painfully aware that Hange’s now thinking about their own financial issues —the unfortunate reason they even took this job and met Levi in the first place.

He looks around the industrial neighborhood they’re walking, and spots two long rusty metal pipes hanging out from a bin nearby. In a fit of renewed energy he didn’t suspect he could have, he rushes over there, grabs them —heavier than they look, but he knows they can both handle it— and throws one at Hange’s feet.

“Here you go, Sir Hange Zoë,” he declares, feeling absolutely ridiculous as he stands in what he hopes looks like a sword fighting position —he sure hopes Hange will give him a break, it’s not like he has a wide frame of reference for this. “Fight me.”

They chortle, the sound immediately brightening the mood —and Levi’s day.

“You don’t have to do this, Levi. You were right, it’s kind of childish.”

He frowns and charges, hitting their shin lightly with his shabby weapon. Hange’s eyebrows shoot up on their forehead, and he can tell they’re slowly giving in.

“Levi! You can’t attack a defenseless maiden, that’s not gentleman-y at all!”

“You’re not a maiden, dumbass. And who said I’m a gentleman?”

Next time he lunges, they block the blow thanks to their own pipe and send him stumbling back —with a force that would surprise anyone else considering how lanky they look in their baggy clothes, and a fire in their eyes that would no doubt freak them out too. Levi, however, has known for months now that the tall nerdy weirdo look is only a mask hiding a fierce, passionate kid who might just be the strongest person he’s ever met —in more ways than one.

Sadly, they’re also much more —how did they put it again? Oh, right— enthusiastic about the whole fighting thing than he’d foreseen, and he soon finds himself having an actual hard time holding them off. One of their well placed hits shatters the pipe he was holding in his hold, and he thanks his lucky star that the combat has to end as he puts both hands up.

“Alright, I yield! You’re right, Four Eyes, you would have made a great knight.”

“Thank you!” they reply with a wink and a graceless curtsy.

Hange throws their pipe back into the trash can, before holding out their hand to ask for the some of the hand gel Levi’s already rubbing on his palms. He throws them a disapproving look, more for show than anything else, and gives them some —really, he’s kind of excited that they’re finally getting some of his neat freak habits, as they always call them.

“So, I won, right?” they ask him when they start walking again.

“Tch, I guess you did,” he grants them, not up to point out how questionable that statement is when really, breaking your opponent’s weapon has to be against the rules, right?

“Then my prize is... that you have to watch the next season with me!”

He spends the rest of the walk and the three subway stations they share trying to get out of that commitment.

(He fails.)

#levihan fanfiction #levihan #snk fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #aot fanfiction #attack on titan #anon asks #asks #my stuff #do i need to tag this as got spoilers??#it's been a solid decade so let's not mmkay #not on ao3

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emillyverse · 1 month

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This is not an update to the Comic, but it still has something to do with it !!!

(call it a little gift for the Wish Rewrite and KoW fandom)

Hello my little stars! How are you?

I mentioned in the last post in the series that I would be traveling for a week or two and that's why I wouldn't be working. Well I'm still traveling Lmao.

It's been a lot of fun, I'm visiting my Prince Charming and family, both of whom I haven't been to in a long time. Still, I couldn't stop thinking about KoW and Wish's Concept Arts. Disney sealed the fate of its fan artists by discarding so much good material, now they are embedded in our minds and we will not be able to rest until we see them realized. This is crazy but it's beautiful to see how much these discarded concepts generated creative potential in the fandom.

Because of all this I couldn't help but make some small sketches! And well, I came to show them here. They are not sketches of Comic panels, but they have something to do with it and I will show the photos and explain how.

This first one, very faded, are Magnificent and Amable's clothes (designed by @uva124, for the characters in @annymation's rewrite of Wish "The Kingdom of Wishes"). The drawings that Aled did are very complex, I don't judge her for that, in fact I thank her, she gave beautiful clothes to the centuries-old Disney villains and they are perfect. I really wish I could draw them with all the details, but I will do everything by hand, alone and seeking a minimally professional quality (I want to be a comic artist/book illustrator one day. This comic is my first step Lmao, and I want to do something that conveys the best I can give at the moment), so I need to make some things easier for myself. The costumes are one of those things.

" Better something simple and well done than complex and poorly done." — This is my motto for this Comic and for my life.

The next sketches are related to aesthetics. I've been watching a lot of "Analyzing the Art" videos of some Disney films and I was inspired to adopt some "Disney Style" features in my arts for this comic (not everything obviously, because I don't want to be sued by Disney lmao).

What you'll see next is me trying to mix this influence with my own style in some KoW character sketches.

(this last art specifically references a meme in which @rascalentertainments tagged me, Thanks for that, by the way! <3 )

(credits to the artist, I don't know who it is because I was just tagged in this meme and I was busy So I didn't look for more information, but I'll leave the post link and you can check the official credits)

Speaking of aesthetics. Anny received Chiara's aesthetic from someone — the north star, "daughter of Aster", created by his magic at the very end of Anny's fanfic. This Aesthetic inspired me to create an aesthetic for Asha and Aster too and these were the results:

What's your favorite?

Lmao, It took a lot of work to make Aster's. There are almost no things for "starboys" on Pinterest.

I'm leaving this up to you to share as you wish, consider it a gift to the fandom!

Lastly, I want to say that the artistic analysis videos They also inspired me to put together a moodboard for KoW and I'll be leaving it here. Not even Anny and Aled know about this and I can't wait to see their reactions! I wish I could print this painting and leave it on the wall, but unfortunately I don't have a printer T-T.

This moodboard is helping me with the artistic direction of colors, style and is a visual motivation to stay active at work.

I hope you like it too!

That's it for today, it's already midnight in Brazil and I should be sleeping instead of posting crazy things on the internet. I'm going to tag my friends and go to sleep, Lmao.

Kisses full of light and stars!

~ Emy

@wings-of-sapphire @flicklikesstuff @frogcoven88 @chillwildwave @gracebethartacc @gracebethartacc @kstarsarts @oh-shtars Come and get your therapies after the anguish caused by certain publications by Anny!

#kingdom of wishes #wish reimagined #wish rewrite #wish 2023 #disney wish #artists on tumblr #asha wish #starboy #starsha #the kingdom of wishes desings #the kingdom of wishes au comic #the kingdom of wishes au #behind the papers?#behind the scenes #aesthetic #scketchbook #scketchs #please write tags for me when reblogging #I am feeling lazy

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randomyuu · 7 months

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(A)void - A fanart

OH MY GOOOOOD

This fic, (A)void by tafih ignites my love for Yuuji to a whole new level.

A platonic reader insert??? Focusing on Reader’s love for Yuuji while adopting every kid as time goes? Sign. Me. The. Fuck. Up.

Chapter 1 had me floored. The way Mirei (the reader) is introduced to the class, how Mirei noticed Yuuji, and slowly realising she really, really loves Yuuji is just—fuck. I love all these moments.

And after Yuuji ate Sukuna, the pain she felt knowing the distance that grew between them, I felt that too. My goodness, Mirei mirrored my feelings for Yuuji a bit too well it’s kinda scary.

Always contemplating whether I should adopt him or be his best friend instead. Or both.

Gosh, the things I would do for this boy.

Okay, now my thoughts during drawing :D

Reader-insert is always a tricky thing to draw. I always pictured them as either an OC or a grey androgynous character with “Y/N” on their face. So to draw this character, that can be relatable to any reader, is really tricky. I never really inserted myself into a reader-insert fic, always saw them as their own entity, so it’s hard to decide on their appearance.

Even with all the descriptions present in the fic, I still struggle. Also I have to look up Japanese teacher summer outfits with appropriate hairstyles, etc etc because I can’t fully trust anime as my point of reference lmao

(I also rarely watch slice-of-life animes so I don’t have much stored reference in my brain to begin with lol)

Also, short sleeves are so hard to draw, wtf? I don’t understand _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_

It took me multiple tries to decide on poses and appearances, but I think the end result is alright! Could be better, but I’m satisfied for now.

And then Yuuji. Man, I honestly don’t know if this boy is ambidextrous, right-handed or left-handed. I tried looking into some images and he has used both so honestly Idk. I just want to say forgive me for any inaccuracies in this drawing, both from JJK's standpoint and Japanese culture in general orz

It’s hard to research only in the English language. I shouldn’t have stopped my Duolingo lessons years ago ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

On another note, Ozawa is really cute! I didn’t expect I would have fun drawing her character. I thought it’d be Yuuji but no, it’s Ozawa! And also Wasuke. Currently I’m studying middle-aged male characters, so drawing him is just part of the practice!

On another, another, note, all of the drawn moments are my favourite ones in the first chapter. That chapter is my favourite so far, I honestly could read multiple chapters only with Mirei teaching in Yuuji’s school and interacting with the Itadoris. I love reading how Mirei slowly gets closer and closer to Yuuji and Wasuke so much.

I just—I could cry gushing about Yuuji and Mirei’s platonic relationship, it’s so cute, so heartwarming, got my soul buzzing in delight, just AAAAHHHHHH—

Aight, that’s it for now. I have reached a speechless state and no longer know what to say except incoherent screaming noises. See you next time!

#yuu's art #jjk-fic-fanart #jjk-gen #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #itadori yuuji #itadori wasuke #ozawa yuko #reader insert #reader #i adore this so much #platonic reader

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fixfoxnox · 10 months

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I FINALLY GOT MY GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS ON SOAP'S JOURNAL!!!

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, guys there is so much in this bad boy that NO ONE has mentioned!! The SoapRoach content in here is off the walls!! Why is all I ever see the like 2 moments Soap mentioned Ghost??? There so much Roach and Price and Gaz content here, so here are some random bits from Soap's journal:

MW:

Embarrassed that Price helped him up and caught him from the plane during Crew Expendable mission

Mentions needing to buy Price "a bottle" as a gift afterward

Upset he missed the first shot on the helicopter during Hunted, says it was "inexcusable, especially considering SAM'S shoot themselves"

Put into the infirmary by a dog bite, too embarrassed to tell Gaz or Price (only Nikolai knows)

Call's Price's mustache both a "dick-tickler" and "Price's precious whiskers"

Blames himself for Gaz, Griggs, and Price's deaths (he believes Price died on the high way) and tries to come up with other ways they could have moved through that would have let the men live

Get's stuck/angry over the image of Zhakaev's blood mixing with Gaz's on the bridge

Nik brought women to see him while he was recovering in Russia

Begins mentioning his struggles with pain killers like morphine and alcohol

He becomes almost obsessive with cleaning and caring for Price's pistol as a way to distract himself from becoming addicted

Tries horse racing and betting to cope, but eventually turns to smoking

MW2:

Soap is the one who sought out the formation of TF141, Shepherd merely backed the idea

Describes Roach as "Raw, skilled, loyal to a fault" (implied he and Ghost are absolutes for the team)

On the other end, Ghost gets a simple "what the hell kind of name is Ghost" and no other information akdndjdhjdhd

Roach has the highest score on the rifle test, a whole 18 points over Ghost

Ghost beats Roach on PFT, but only by 3 points

"Have been looking forward to breaking Roach in" during Kazakhstan

"Feel even more comfortable with him than Price must have with me" omg

Roach has a journal that Soap spots him writing in, he wonders what he's writing

Adds to the end wondering if Roach is "wondering what villa claras taste like" which is clearly a reference to Soap's own admiration of Price and wondering if Roach feels the same as that, but boy oh boy Soap was that a gay way to put it ajdjfjdbhd

Makarov weighs 184 pounds and is 5'11 I'm wheezing what a little wet rat of a man I love him

Mentions the death of Meat, so far one of the only deaths he hasn't blamed himself for

Mentions needing to trust Roach and his instinct more, essentially tells himself to cool it with the constant reminders and stuff

Plans to put Roach on circuits and crossfit because he wasn't fast enough lmao

Says he would have crashed the plane before leaving Roach on the rooftops in Brazil 🥺

Blames himself for Roach almost not making the jump to the plane

Says that Ghost "knows something about interrogation"

Mentions that the team didn't bat an eye to him torturing Rojas for information, Soap draws a comparison between himself torturing Rojas to Price torturing Al Asad.

He specifically has Roach handle the C4 after seeing how well he did with it during Kazakhstan

"Ghost hacked at a snails pace" LMAO REAL

"Funny thing watching Roach get taken down by Price" listen sir, give your boyfriend a break please

Very excited and cathartic for him to give Price his pistol back

Says that Price returning and taking over command was the "best demotion imaginable" 🥺

Was just happy following Price and Roach because he "got to listen to the two of them working together like we once did"

Says it was nice to see Price taking Roach under his wing

"For all that coaching, Roach did a shit job with the bodies" listen here sir...thats not a mechanic in the game give the boy a break akdndjjdhd

Knew that Price was up to some bullshit as soon as his comms went off

Kill shepherd: "For Ghost. Roach" 😭 throwing myself from a cliff

"Loyalty doesn't operate on a sliding scale. It's a safety. On or off."

MW3:

Nikolai and Yuri go way back, potentially from Nik's time as an ultranationalist?

Nik rescuing Soap again and Soap saying he owes him a pallet of Imperia for it akdjjdjd

"Knife would healing too slowly for tastes" baby....

Nikolai providing him with antibiotics and pain medication 😬 Soap describes them as "providing inspiration" which does not sound good

Mentions how the ultranationalists have become more violent then they were under Zhakaev

Soap lost friends during the terrorist attack in London

Final thoughts:

Omg my husband

He struggles a lot a lot with guilt from very early on

Put a shit ton of pressure on himself and blames himself for anything that goes wrong. Especially blames himself for the deaths of other characters.

Seems to have had a struggle/struggles with coping with that guilt. It appears to have manifested a bit in struggles with pain killers and alcohol that he manages through almost compulsively taking care of Price's pistol.

Attempts to cope through horse racing (and gambling?) But what ends up working is smoking.

Definitely had a lot of care for his team, particularly Roach seemed to get a lot of his attention.

Much closer to Nikolai then I think people realize. Nik saves his life numerous times and the two work together even with Price not around. Definitely helps to fill in some gaps on why Nik sticks around at the end of mw2

Looks up to Price so very much. Like stars in his eyes this man can do no wrong type of thing.

#gary roach sanderson #simon ghost riley #call of duty #john soap mactavish #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #taskforce 141 #soap's journal #soap cod #cod mw2

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cowardlybean · 6 months

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Hey. The Times They Are A Changin’ by @bandtrees and @tigsbitties amiright (muffled face down on the floor)

more (some unsettling things) beneath the cut :3

(Image 3 is my favorite sequence from an animation for TTTAAAC I’ve been working on, so here it is just in case I never finish </3, image 4 is me thinking about Mob’s house. If. That makes sense.)

OH MAN. OH MAN OH MAN. this fic has altered my brain chemistry in a way that has doctors baffled and leaves tragedy in its wake!!!!!!!!! Absolutely a masterpiece I’ve reread it 3 times now and every time I notice a new detail, there’s just SO MUCH CARE put into it. I think I could write an essay about every page of this fic LMAO it honestly blows me away, huge kudos to everyone who was a part of the project!!!!

Especially the multimedia aspects, they were so much fun to find and in some cases decode (Scared the SHIT outta myself with Breathe I think it’s one of my favorites). the youtube videos were so cool as well

Realizing a third of the way in that things will never get better was such a gut wrenching experience, and by the time I realized just how deep the hole Mob dug himself into was it was absolutely too late for anything to happen (the end of act 1 was horrific in the most amazing way. So many things stuck with me: the state Reigen was left in compared to how he was, Ritsu’s “surgery”, Dimple losing his best friend, Shou’s report to the police, Minori’s conversation (if you can call it that) with Mob?? Bone. Chilling.

One of the parts that has been sitting in my gut is Reigen’s fall, where he starts to ramble through fragments of old times. I genuinely thought he was calling out to Mob until just as the same time Mob did I recognized the words and it hit me like a HAMMER. I don’t know how to put it into words but Reigen rambling on like a broken record tore me apart, and then it gets WORSE. I only realized on my second read that the intro of the fic. (Correct me if I’m wrong) IS REIGENS PERSPECTIVE OF MOB SEVERING HIS TENDONS???? Holy fuck. Holy FUCK. The vague semblance of consciousness written there is so deeply unsettling I’m absolutely OBSESSED with it. ESPECIALLY THE FACT THAT EVEN IN THAT STATE HE STILL WANTS MOB TO BE HAPPY (the cheer ^^ mob bit) and idk if I’m interpreting right (this is gonna be so embarrassing if I’m not) but him recognizing the filthy jacket as well. Taking me OUT. AND. AND THE FACT REIGEN NEVER SPEAKS AGAIN AFTER THAT?????? (I could be wrong oops)

The mental states of every character in the fic are written so chillingly well. I can understand how Mob spirals, the anger and grief Tome feels, Shou's spite and anger, Teruki's conflict, Dimple's loss of his best friend, Serizawa's waning optimism, I can't name every character in this fic but they are ALL characterized so well. There's no needless conflict that make them OOC, there's a reason behind every little tragedy building upon themselves and creating a giant disaster that deeply affects the entire cast. Not to mention how its not just the loss of Reigen and Ritsu, but the loss of Mob too. If they were to have died on impact, its unsettling to think that things may have turned out better than this.

There’s a lot of things I wanna say that would basically be restating the fic (dimple losing his best friend, teru shaving, and the irony of ritsu’s powers being taken away by mob) so instead of writing 20 more paragraphs I’ll ask some questions I’ve been mulling over (ofc yall don’t have to answer if it’s revealing too much or smth)

Does Mob actually end up getting investigated or arrested? The formatting of the social media posts and texts makes them seem as if they're evidence and so does the ongoing "interview?" with Shou throughout the fic

In the party, is Reigen saying he doesn't like citrus a reference to the lemon sour :eyes:

I'm probably missing something but im curious about the metaphor around Reigen and a stray cat (hair clinging to Mob's clothes, comparing him to a stray cat finding a place to die, comparing him to a cat outside Serizawa's door)

If I'm not wrong and the "glitchy" sections at the beginning and end of the fic are Reigen and Ritsu's povs respectively, is their mind constantly like that or is it just in the specific circumstances where they have a small burst of consciousness?

last (thats a lie im definitely drawing more fanart in the future) but not least, some notes from when I was re-reading

#sorry for hiding literally everything below the cut i dont wanna jumpscare people #BUT ANWAY.#holy fuck. a masterpiece.#literally tried drawing vase scene (as ive dubbed it for convenience lmao) 3 times its SO HARD to get right #i doubt i was able to truly do this fic justice its so amazing #mp100 #tw blood #tw body horror #(not really but the animation is close enough)#TTTAAAC #mob psycho 100 #shigeo kageyama #ritsu kageyama #reigen arataka #teruki hanazawa #dimple mp100 #so many thoughts about this fic #sorry for my damn essay oh my god #< biggest TTTAAAC fan

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esse-lunam · 4 days

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an introduction to: my 90s fame dr!

please read this god please there's art in here also ive put 5+ months of work into this dr at this point so i swear that there's interesting shit in here yall I SWEAR I AM NICHE.

reblogs greatly appreciated! this took me forever teehee

ohhh my god this is a long time in the making, ive put this off for so, so long and i really couldn't tell you why. this can act as a script me into ur dr post if you like as well!

for starters, you can find my pinterest board for this dr here :3 just in case u want some cool visuals i guess :3

so lets get the basics outta the way shall we?

full name: marley jo veitch

nicknames: mar, marley barley, mars bars, tink (reserved for s/o), living poet (public figure nickname type deal? yknow how stevie nicks gets called the white witch? yeah that)

pronouns: they/she

DOB: june 1st, 1970 (which makes me a gemini btw!)

occupation: musician (piano, violin, guitar n bass, some drums, and saxophone), poet, author (fiction and nonfiction), actor on occasion, also a comedian that one time

skills: all things music + writing basically, film analysis, pop culture analysis i guess, home decor, drawing, fashion?, and being the most autistic person in the multiverse

appearance stats: 5'3", 145ish lbs, long brownish-reddish hair with some light brown highlights in there, sorta wavy but barely

body mods: COVERED in tats (theres a tattoo section on the pinterest board but i also drew some so), septum piercing, snake bites, and a fair few ear piercings. and also i have glasses but thats not a body mod thats just a thing on my body.

"workin and workin't? you have a job?" more on that later!

relationships and such! with photos!

s/o: robert sean leonard

"hey, do i recognise this guy?" you might! he played notable roles such as neil perry in dead poet's society, claudio in much ado about nothing, and james wilson in house md!

best friends: dylan kussman, allelon ruggiero, alexandra powers, and kimya dawson

"do i recognise more of these people?" again, probably! dylan, al, and alex were all in dead poets society, and kimya is a musician best known for her indie songs, some featured in the movie juno!

my career! (oh good lord)

writing based - undedicated musings

(1986-1993)

alright so this is a bit hard to explain, bear with me. undedicated musings is an anonymous newsletter-based poetry... publication? run by me, under the pen name 'chartreuse', and the whole shtick is that i write poetry, love letters, and whatever else to the person i'll end up spending my life with, but the recipient of said writings is completely unknown, even to me, so im kinda just writing to nobody. until! i actually set my eyes on someone (obviously rsl) and then the writings start to get a bit more specific and yearn-y and personal. since the recipient is anonymous, all the writings are written for a 'vermillion'. both chartreuse and vermillion's identities are revealed when we get married in 1993. and no, rsl doesn't know that i'm chartreuse, nobody does until i reveal myself. i think its kinda cool :3

film based - dead poet's society

(1988-1989)

so for starters, i was part of the crew that worked on the set of dead poets society, now all my friends (except kimya, her and i become friends in the late 90s) make sense! my actual job on set is kind of a vague be-here-and-do-a-bit-of-everything type deal, so there's no set title beyond "assistant to lead" even tho it's essentially government assigned 'friendship' LMAO. but! me and the cast get on like a house on fire, so i kinda just get to tag along on their wacky teenage-ish boy adventures. this totally does not stem from a desire to be part of a teenage boy friend group, and i am, in fact, totally cisgender. i am also lying. anyway, without going into too much detail, me and my s/o-not-yet-s/o (will be referring to him as rsl from this point on) sorta have a painstakingly long will they wont they type deal, because i guess i like torturing myself. we meet a day before all the actual film stuff starts just as a sort of preliminary get to know eachother because you'll be in close proximity VERY often for months. thats some time in march - june-ish? of 1988 (i shift to my dr the day before!) and we don't actually get together until june of 1989. so.

also! some changes to the movie because i can make those: knox overstreet is now played by matthew lillard instead of josh charles, because josh charles is a fucking zionist and i dont want to associate with him in any reality! knox also isnt a b plot to the movie at all, instead focusing on meeks and pitts because i find them much more interesting! and also knox's b plot is creepy as hell! also, the racism against natives (read this!) is completely gone! no thanks!

music based - MAURZI

(1988-2004 technically)

strap in boys because this is the main event of this dr and the lore is VAST. MAURZI (must be spelled in all caps, like MF DOOM) is a sort of musical person/character i've made to tell the story of via a series of albums. i release my first single in october of 1988 titled "lunarian", which is a fun little song about a being from the moon arriving on earth and having some inter-planetary culture shock. and thats the only song i've actually planned! i release 6 total albums that map out the MAURZI storyline kinda

- MAURZI (1989)

- GONE TO SHIT! (1991)

- Charmed (1992)

- I found Him in Santa Barbara (1995)

- Waterworks (1998)

- also bibliography (2004) but those are released as songs By Me and not MAURZI, just released under the same artist. MAURZI storyline ends with Waterworks.

now here's where you get the very extensive MAURZI lore. MAURZI is a sort of alternate-universe representation of me, where in i'm much more famous than i actually am in my dr, and i am absolutely RUINED by my fame in a fuck ton of ways. each album is a different section of her life so i'll explain it album by album. also for reference, in my dr capitalism/ currency isnt a thing, but in the MAURZI... verse? it is. because i like anti capitalist art! same goes for most other media im in/ participate in, actually. MAURZI uses she/her pronouns btw, i dont.

MAURZI - my self-titled album is about as close and personal to my life as i'll get, which an average amount because i still throw in some songs about shit that i have not at all done/ experienced. (ex. songs about cheating, toxic relationships, and things along those lines. thankfully ive had a mostly healthy relationship with relationships! except that one time!) MAURZI is new to the music scene but she's here to make some lovely tunes to help process some stuff! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sarah kinsley, dodie, jeff buckley, tv girl, mitski, and peach pit.

GONE TO SHIT! - MAURZI's first album blew the fuck up! now she's thrown into the midst of dealing with an incomprehensible amount of attention on her at all times, which she was absolutely not prepared for. what does she do to cope? sex drugs and rock n roll, baby! she also gets addicted to 2 outta those 3 things! can you guess which ones?? now, obviously, this album is entirely fictional and is only tangentially inspired by some life events, heavy emphasis on the tangentially. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the nonstick pans, panic! at the disco, forest, david bowie, chappel roan, and king gizzard & the lizard wizard.

Charmed - the love song album! this is basically comprised of songs i sorta wrote about rsl, but changed up a fuck ton because i wrote them while i was pining and did Not want him to knkw who they were about. in terms of MAURZI stuff, she meets someone just after deciding that she's gotta clean up her act if she wants to exist healthily. recovering alongside a loved one and them being a motivator for recovery! now i should specify here that MAURZI's s/o is not the same as mine, and is entirely gender neutral/ doesn't even have a canon(?) human appearance at all. they're named Vermillion because we love a callback! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the smiths, siouxsie and the banshees, james blake, queen, laufey, and her's.

I found Him in Santa Barbara - yknow how when a banana ripens too much and it starts to tuen brown? yeah imagine that logic but applied to recovery, i guess. NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO REITERATE THAT MAURZI AND I ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND MAURZI IS JUST A CHARACTER. essentially MAURZI had a spiritual awakening and "found god." but what that ACTUALLY means is that she started viewing vermillion as a sort of god? but she's keeping it on the down low (making an album about it) because she doesn't want vermillion to thing she's CRINGE. themes of loving a god, being IN love with a god, being in lust with a god, temporarily thinking youre a god? stuff along those lines. its a bit intense, VERY experimental and.. heavy? both in themes and in musical style for some portions. this is my fav album out of all of them if you couldnt tell. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sleep token, WILLOW, type o negative, slipknot, lemon demon (specifically songs off spirit phone), hozier, violent vira, pierce the veil, gorillaz kinda, bjork, kate bush, deftones, destroy boys, and rammstein probably.

Waterworks - so yknow how MAURZI was having a whole trouble with god moment? yeah well thats gone now, no i haven't figured out how that'll work narratively, thats for me to figure out in like 10 years from now (now being 1988, naturally.) we've returned to our self-titled roots in terms of musical style! now we've just got some fun themes of trauma and such! and then that's the and of MAURZI as a character story wise, as i said earlier the album after this one is just a Me album. same artist inspo as self titled!

and guess what! music lore isnt even fuckin done! my music in this dr is a multiverse in itself goddamn. so basically the album covers for each album tell a completely seperate story about a completely seperate alter ego/ character/ whatever named Moonzi. name given by my audience (which is my excuse for coming up with such a shitty name and then keeping it.) the story of moonzi, without going into too much detail because i dont wanna type it all out, is a sci-fi type story about a being from the moon (lunarian callback!) on a quest to bring this space artifact back to its original place, basically. a bit more on it later, emphasis on a bit. also! each album cover is drawn by a different artist, and each album artist animates one official music video off their respective album, just cuz i like art and stuff! those music videos kinda follow the moonzi storyline loosely, but incorporate MAURZI elements. is this confusing? hope not. drawings!

writing based - novels

can you believe im still not done? like not even close? certified yapper. anyway! my 3 fiction novels (Manchester, NH - 1991, Curator Rye, 1997, Sand Dollars + Pearls - 2008) are about my ocs basically! thats it really, i dont feel the need to share the plots of those tbh.

writing based - autobiographies

two? yep! one is a fictional autobiography about MAURZI (MAURZI - 1999) and one is a non fictional autobiography about me (Radio Free Marley - 2012.) take a shot every time i say MAURZI and you will need to get your stomach pumped. she just. she means a lot to me :3

film based - doctor who

(1994-1999)*

*these dates are when im on the show btw, not its total runtime, same applies to other cr existing shows.

big disclaimer: never seen doctor who. dont know the plot, dont know which doctor i'm gonna be, i just wanna be in it.

so! my version of the doctor is kinda weird. its one doctor, but played by two people, but theyre one person. we're both the doctor. and by we i mean both me and rsl, obviously. the viewer sees the doctor as two different people, but NOBODY ELSE IN THE DAMN SHOW besides our little companion buddy guy (played by my cr friend fish!) SEES, ACKNOWLEDGES, OR IS ABLE TO VIEW THE DOCTOR AS TWO PEOPLE. its really complicated and i really did not have to make it that way, but its cool to me so i really dont care. also we're breakjng the doctor who cycle of boring suit and tie (this is NOT about you 15 <3) and going steampunk-esque. again, cuz i wanna.

film based - house md

(2005 - 2010)

marley veitch be in a show without rsl challenge (failed.) i play a character i made up named Nanette Amesbury who is essentially wilson's first ex wife. does he have a canon first ex wife? think so (i actually havent finished house oops.) do i care? you can take a guess. nanette (nicknamed ninny - which im well aware means dumb) is the director of the pediatrics department at princeton plainsboro and she kinda has a fwb type deal with wilson before figuring out shes a lesbian, having a crush on cuddy, being besties with kutner, then leaving the show in season 6. (zeth if ur reading this yes i made her show up for more than 2 seconds she just. means so much to me. also i want cudbury content.) im also a writer for the show so im there for its entire run time :3 i really like this show :3

film based - moonzi

(2016)

YEAHHHHH BABY SHES BACK!!! moonzi's storyline gets adapted into an adult swim animated tv show! i do screenwriting, stiryboarding, and voice acting! style wise, think teen titans mixed with bojack horseman mixed with archer. sick space visuals also!

comedy based - dying art

(2020)

idk i wanted to do a standup special! dunno what it's about. ill leave that up to future me to decide because this isn't happening for 32 damn years and i really just dont wanna come up with a standup special rn.

film based - radio free marley

(whenever)

i wanted a biopic, but i wanted it to be both about me and MAURZI, and how points in my life influenced or inspire songwriting. so the episode structure is like

ep 1: about me, point in my life

ep 2: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 1

ep 3: about me, point in my life

ep 4: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 3

ep 5: you get the idea

and then this goes on for 12 episodes and ends with the MAURZI story wrapping up and with me sorta retiring kinda. dont know when it'll be made, probably at some point in my 60s or whatever. im permashifting if you couldnt tell btw.

and thats it! after all this im just kinda existing and living life and whatever else. so with that outta the way i'll list some fun facts and i'll FINALLY BE DONE JESUS CHRIST IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR LIKE 3 HOURS.

- i live in new york city! manhattan to be specific

- i also have a lake house in new hampshire because i Need to be in a rural area at some points

- my house's interior design is very 70s themed and its WHIMSICAL AND FUN! maximalism, whimsigoth, nooks and crannys to be in, fun and varied seating options, conversation pit, loft bedroom, whole 9 yards. ive also got a gazebo on my roof!

- i have 2 siblings in my dr (not here im an only child in my cr womp womp) named lia and monty, theyre my best friends in my cr!

- ive also got a cat! she's a ragdoll kitty named yvonne, shes a sweetheart!

- i scripted out light pollution so the sky is all pretty at night, highly recommend you do the same

- im in STOMP at one point, dont know or care when, i just wanna be in it

- robin williams........... he is a father figure to me................ sniff sob

- yes i scripted out his death i simply cannot deal with that

- PUBLIC TRANSPORT AND WALKABLE SOCIETY!!!!! NO MORE CAR BASED US SOCIEY WOOOO!!!

- i cant fucking believe i havent mentioned this yet but im scottish?? im not scottish in my cr i was just thinking about david tennant when i was forming the dr idea back in january and it stuck. MAURZI is american tho

- hilson is canon in my dr LMAOAOOA

- thats all i got

sweet lord in heaven above if you've read this whole thing im giving u a big kiss. this is so long and i really dont wanna proofread it so im not gonna, excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes.

#VOLO LUNAM #LUNAM est. 1988 #reality shifting #shiftblr #desired reality #reality shifter #shifting realities #shifting #shifting community #shifting antis dni #dr intro

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chipped-chimera · 10 months

Text

WIP WEDNESDAY - 12/07/23

AND IT'S ACTUALLY ON A WEDNESDAY! Thanks @theviridianbunny for the tag <3 I regret to inform you ... it's more hair again @.@ (this one is actually different, I swear)

More under the cut, as usual~

Soooo if you've been following me you probably know I've done a few things since my last WIP Wednesday, namely more tattoo stuff, and more recently ... more hair stuff.

After a LOT of agonising over it I finally consider the neck 'done' ... or done enough (vaguely ... thinking about doing something more in the transition between the tattoo and the jaw but I probably should stop honestly or I'll never stop). This means I probably have enough done to get away with taking screenshots while I work on the rest of it. Been pondering drawing up an actual plan for the rest beyond what I've been doing so far - mostly winging it and smashing things together. Might get stuff done faster, who knows.

Anyway I am back on my hair shit, yet again that's going just about ... as well as you'd expect ...

Okay okay, I'll be honest, this has been fixed but I gotta say after spending a whole 12 hrs staring at lines of code, changing entries and having to redo them several times because I'd fucked up some file name or changed my mind or found out 'no that is not where you should be putting that folder you absolute dingus' and this was the best I could do was kind of hilarious. 😂

The important part was I'd gotten it IN, which was a process and a half, considering THIS time I'm using a custom made 2048px hair texture (alpha is 4k) and a higher poly mesh - which means yeah, this is the same hair rebuilt from scratch.

After some additional fiddling ...

... and a very unamused Ven (I'm sorry hun) ...

I got it in. All of it. No missing textures, no hair cards in the hair cap slot. The physics look janky but it's somewhat intentional - this is a minimal effort rigging job based on the alt rig, the priority was to get this hair texture IN so I could see how it looked in game and how everything sat before I dug myself further into a sunk cost fallacy over this second version of the hair.

And I'm actually pretty happy with it? There is some curl distortion yeah but it's not as bad as it was last time - and considering I'd rigged that one PROPERLY is saying something. Higher poly + textures are making a big difference here. It's pretty obvious in the comparison -

Also yes I am aware this one is WAY too shiny, but that one is a considerably easy fix now I know how Vertex Paint actually affects this value. I was a bit too generous on the highlight gradient so I've already repainted what I have so far, using side-by-side references with existing game meshes to try and get it 'equal' but it's likely gonna be a lot of back and forth calibrating with that one.

Excessive shiny-ness aside I'm actually REALLY happy with how the side curl is sitting nice and neat in her jacket collar this time! Also man ... doesn't that look silky ... (ok maybe some shine is good lmao)

I guess that's kind of it on the mod front. I've got other projects in a very initial stage (it's fanfic. Ofc it's fanfic) but work on both the tattoo bodysuit + hair is eating up a lot of my daily spoon allowance so that one will happen when it happens I guess (and probably when at minimum, this goddamn hair is done).

Oh and this hair is using UUH4V. I GOT IT TO WORK. Which means I'll be able to use multiple rigs which will hopefully prevent these carefully crafted curls from getting minced beyond recognition, fingers crossed.

Anyways until next time!

(Uh, I tag anyone who read all of this. Yes you. sorry I don't know many people yet and I'm shyyy)

p.s. yes hair tutorial. soon. In the case you are similarly frustrated and desperate as I was and working on hair please note I AM VERY OPEN TO TELLING YOU ALL THE INFO just ask me. Cause tutorial might take time unfortunately. But it's in the works.

#kerytalk #my modding #wip wednesday #cyberpunk 2077 modding

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dreamsfulblues · 13 days

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so i finally got around to watching golden wind and i’ve only just finished the second episode but i’ve noticed two things about bruno so far:

😳

he is a lot more playful than i thought he'd be, i expected him to be more serious for some reason? i'm glad he isn't though lol

one thing i don't understand though is why they changed the name of his stand from sticky fingers to zipper man? like what was the issue there, am i missing something😭

your art of bruno definitely does him justice, he looks so good😩 have you ever drawn his stand? i don't blame you if you haven't, it looks pretty complicated to draw. i'm sure you'd nail it as usual though :)

anyway uh this ask got way longer than what i initially wanted to say, i got thoughts™ while writing this lmao well i'm off to continue with episode 3!! :D

AAAAAAA IM GLAD YOU LIKE PART 5 SO FAR…and Bruno~✨😏

The first two episodes really make Bruno look like a dangerous mf like when you see him you know you already are dead. I remember I was freaking out with the eye and Giorno spitting out fingers it was so eeeeww

Bruno can be such a freak too😭

And yeah he can be quite playful and I loooove that. It definitely feels refreshing to see a leader/boss type character that isn’t all cold and stern.

I think it’s his design and expression that makes you believe he doesn’t allow fun . I love me a guy that looks brutal but actually can be quite a softie…or at least show he cares about someone. He is called „the mom“ for a reason~

Oh and the reason they changed the name was because Sticky Fingers is an album name from The Rolling Stones (a good one!) so to avoid any copyright stuff they changed it. Calling it Zipper Man tho sounds so silly like it sounds like a super hero Bruno came up with when he was a little kid 😂 but apparently it’s a music reference to a band too (can’t remember which one) which makes you question… then why change it in the first place????

Then again I can’t take the name Sticky Fingers seriously either because it always sounds…dirty 😳

And thank you for the compliment aaaaaa🙈💕💕💕 I’m just trying my best to capture the beauty of my Capo. 💦

And I thought about drawing Sticky Fingers too but I never had a good art idea for it and yeah it looks scary to draw I can already see myself dying during the process. But I will have to draw it one day! >:3

I hope you will enjoy the rest of the show and thanks for the ask 😊💖

#jojo golden wind #bruno buccellati #bruno bucciarati

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lunarspew · 28 days

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Hiii, I really admire your writing and I was wondering: What's your usual drafting process? I have my own, (which i will admit, is somewhat nightmarish) (Seen below (text color has no meaning)) Though I'm wondering how you usually draft your own writings?

How long do you usually spend on a "first draft" as well?

Oh my gosh first off - THANK U?! That’s so nice of you to say omg

Secondly: WOAH. I can’t say anything ‘cus my files are also a mess but that’s also a rly cool layout.

Thirdly: I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’ll do my best to explain

This got away from me. TLDR:

How I usually draft: Breaking down from big to small. Chapter outline to scene outlines to fleshing out scenes etc etc. Big to small.

How Long It takes: For my first draft, if I’m in a good mood/know where I’m going, I can get a chapter’s first draft (think rough ‘they did this and then they argued about this’ between actual writing) done in a couple of 20 minute writing sprints.

4 scenes would equal 80 minutes, done over a period of days. After that I usually spend like, a few weeks to a month editing over and over until I like it.

Now for the long shit. I ramble, I’m so sorry, I am not clear headed and that’s why It takes me so long to Edit/Publish lmao.

TA and BB are the first fics I’ve ever like. Decided that they were going to be Long and that I Really Want To Finish. I used to just write without knowing where I’m going, and that always ends with me abandoning things. So THIS TIME, I tried smth different.

The way I’ve done it so far (that has worked) has been:

Initial idea >

short desc. Of scenes that are driving me to write this in the first place / dialogue ideas i have >

rough bare bones outline start to finish >

Take a story beat template I like/fits and use that to flesh things out >

story beats >

draft scene by scene for chapters >

flesh out the rough scenes >

keep editing until i like it.

That. is the ideal way it would happen. It does not happen that way, lol.

This for an example is my first attempt at TA. Only a few lines of it made it to chapter one/i changed tenses and rewrite the whole thing. I haven't opened this file in a year or two and have moved everything to a new scrivener file since then.

For TA and BB I used Take Off Your Pants by Libbie Hawker for my initial outline.

I had it as a library book at the time and transcribed the outline process for it so I could come back and refer to it later. I’ll link my google docs here for that, (sorry about the shitty mouse drawing), though I do recommend reading the book.

Sorry, Rambling.

For TA and BB, I outlined it using that. TA I left a lot more loose / there are parts I don’t know how it’s going to go chapter by chapter.

For BB, that’s completely outlined, every chapter.

The idea is to go Big > Medium > Small.

After the broad strokes outline, I go to chapter by chapter outline. Bare bones, just a few paragraphs.

Then I break that chapter into scenes.

For that, I’ve used a couple of different things. Usually I make sure to note character goals.

Most Recently I read 5,000 Words Per Hour and then Lifelong Writing Habit, both by Christ Fox. Those were more about habits, but I liked how he broke down the ‘scene summaries’.

For each scene I break down I usually fill this out:

Characters: (who will be here, even if only minor)

Location: (where this happens. I try to keep it to one location per scene)

Major Action: (what happens. This part gets long, it’s where I summarize what happens in the scene)

Goal: (what I want to happen. Either I want info to be given to readers, or I need to move someone from point A to point B)

End: (how the scene ends/where it breaks off for new scene. Where characters are by this point.)

Emotions: (Emotions I want to get across/focus on during writing.)

Then I do a 20 minute Writing Sprint where I just word vomit that scene. I don’t let myself edit or press backspace (HARD!!!) and that’s my Draft 1 for that scene.

Usually that’s about 1k words. I know I’m an overwriter so I can kinda guess how long the scene will be once it’s fleshed out.

It goes from This kinda stuff (spoilers for chapter 6 of TA)

This is my draft 1/first ‘serious’ write thru. I’m fine sharing screenshots cus most likely it will end up very different by the time I publish it.

TIME wise? Oh god it really depends. Sometimes I get it down right the first few times. Others…

Oogh.

I have a checklist I try to go through. Once I sort of get what I want down/solid/stop with my cuts, I go thru the list with each pass.

So like Draft 3 could be just fixing dialogue. Draft 4 would be adding ‘show don’t tell’ and reworking sentence structure.

……… i just went to take a screenshot of my ‘final edit’ list and it looks like i wrote. everything out that I do in a far more concise way at some other point. God dang.

Anyway

All that is to say, time wise, it depends!

My goal is to publish once a month. Around the middle of the month. If I’m actively working on something/make myself work on it i could get draft 2 banged out in a few days, and then I spend the next couple weeks picking at it/fixing it.

Other times, I avoid it until I get a sudden rush of inspo and write it out in one day. Again, spend a month editing it/hating it, then do one last rush job edit and post it (even if i think it’s not ‘perfect’ yet) and run away from my computer.

I don’t recommend doing it like this. I’m doing a mix of ‘serious’ writing habits (schedules, deadlines) and ‘i just write for fun’. And it’s. Not great.

I’m sure it’ll get streamlined eventually/the more I write since I’m new to like. Publishing long form stuff. But yeah. Sobs.

SORRY FOR RAMBLING AUGH. I hope this makes sense. As I said I'm not clearheaded/have a loto f brain fog so. yeagh.

I forget to write things down so most of my 'planning; is just floating around in my head until I remember it last second and have to scramble to put it back in/move it around my drafts lol.

#txt #TA #BB #this is really long and got out of hand #just a total ramble so sorry im super tired kaldfjhkasdjkl #i hope this makes sense #bleedingbonemarrow #writing #asks #TA spoilers #Reed #well #reed mention #I call pov chara Reed just cus i like writing that more than 'you' every time

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seelestia · 29 days

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YEEE NPNP!! college was nervewracking ngl (still is), at least when i started last year august iirc? but yeah! do you know what major you want? alas i cannot chill as much as i used to smh

heheh fr tho >:3 i think the fontaine arc was really well written and went into more depth (get it? depth? waters? ok i'll stop now) and because of how much lore we were given since it seems to be more complex ngl. as for myself, i'm sticking albedo and lyney under the microscope so i can understand them both better

especially albedo. i'd very much like to pick his brain the same way i wanna pick my boyfriend's- coughs

HEJSJD THE WAY I STARTED SMILING AFTER READING THE HCS,,needed that ngl cuz i've been stressed a lot. but i think bedo would be the kind of person who'd do that and create an artificial flower and then name it after me hehehe

but hey, who's to say wanderer wouldn't leave you a flower someplace where you can find it? just a small and sweet gesture and will very most likely deny it (and fails) when you tease him for it mwehehhe i can be devious too ya know or maybe even ayato leaves you a little present like a bracelet or hair accessory after a long day of work

AND NOO ITS OK I LOVE LISTENING TO UR RAMBLES TOO /gen /pos

actually yea i do have some new vibedo trivia! we've officially become engaged and he was the one who proposed first <3 that and he has a tendency to call me "sweet violet" since its an actual flower as well hehe. and tysm!! i'm honestly just doing my best to stay happy since my irl bedo is like very complementary to my personality if that makes sense? like he tends to wear darker clothing, i tend to wear a lot of pastels kinda thing. and so far, we're doing rlly good! sure there are some challenges we're dealing with now but im doing my best to stay positive ^^

also me being 20 ew. somehow i'm still being referred as old sheesh

ok im done rambling now im passing the mic to u hehe /lh

ah, truly. the price of education = freedom to chill !!! 😔 but alas, life is a ongoing journey with hurdles (and i happen to not be an athlete /j). currently, i have my eyes on a social science major atm! so i can hopefully pursue psychology :3 but my second choice is english bcs i cannot stray from the path of linguistics and literature no matter how much i tried /pos. ALSOSOSO if you don't mind, can you tell me more abt what you do in your course? i did my research on google but i think it cannot compare to someone with the actual experience™ ++ i'm just a curious cat and want to enable your rambles hehe <3 /lh

THE PUN, HELP. i agree, the fontaine quest deffo made some waves when it ended. OH I SEE!!! at first glance, i thought i could find a similarity between albedo and lyney (finding vi's type: a reality show jkjk we all already know it's albedo /hj) but the longer i looked, the more i questioned myself 😭 i do think that both of them are deeper than what people credit them for tho! albedo with his knowledge of khemia.... and lyney with his burdens as the next 'father'..... ooOOooO. some emphasis for now on lyney bcs of the 4.6 trailer that just dropped! DID YOU SEE IT YET VI 👁️ (but dw, i understand if you had no time / busy with college!) { the comment abt picking your bf's brain LMAO would he let you?? oh, truly, love is blind 🤭 /lh }

always happy to provide you with hcs!!! my brain buzzes with possibilities all the time && one of the things i love most abt selfships is analyzing how different personalities come together to form habits / idiosyncrasies / love languages of their own. like how albedo conjures up an artificial flower bcs he is simply reminded of his sweet violet — that is special and unique to you in a way. it's vv beautiful, i think!!

AND HSHDHWHSH. THE HCS??? vi, i cannot convey how much i appreciate you. i haven't indulged in my selfships for some time since i didn't have time to be active - so this made me SOSOSO happy aaaaaa!!! but wanderer definitely has left some flowers for me before bcs who else? i suggested the possibility of another suitor and he knocked me on the head (softly) YOWCHHH but hey, at least he admitted it was him! :3c and 'yato.... aghhhhh this man. he leaves a hairpin out in the open but tells me “not to touch it until he gets home” just so he can put it on me himself. he derives joy from seeing me hold back from snatching that thing up myself. meanie /j

AWWW THAT'S SO CUTE!! you two are the apt presentation of “opposites attract”. and i'm glad! i only have average experience with relationships but i think everyone agrees that a relationship isn't sunshine and rainbows all the time. that's as natural as our having good days and bad days in a week. i think what matters is how you both deal with them - and i believe in you & your bf! you're a good egg and ik your bf is too, so do what you both know is best <3 (forgive me if i sound like a grandma here /j BUT hooray to vi and irl albedo! my new fav couple yesyesyes)

#not sure why people think 20 is old... that's like the prime of your life!!#who cares abt them!!! live your life like you're forever young i say 🫂🫂#ask box! 📬#visitor: dearest vi! 🍡#selfships! 🧸#<- a new tag bcs selfships deserve a tag of its own <33

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myloveforhergoeson · 1 month

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Uhh... I'd apologize for the wall of text I just left on your new chapter on AO3, but my mother always told me to never tell a lie. ;)

AHHHHH thank you SO MUCH i know it was so long and so much information to take in but im so so so overjoyed that you enjoyed! thank you for taking some time out of your day to write such a thought out and sweet comment 😭 literally my #1 motivator. us james girlies gotta stick together!!!!!!

i know you left the comment on ao3 but i've got a lot to say back so imma take some bits and pieces and write them out here ehehe

"I'd noticed that James seemed a bit hesitant to talk about his parents. Especially his mother. And I saw Roxy wonder if she was the type of girl you bring home to your parents. But I think for her, everything's going to become clearer at Mother's Day. It's not that James is ashamed or anything. I think it's because he loves her so much and he doesn't want his mother ruining what they have. She is a bit... domineering."

YES UGH roxy just doesn't get it bc she has such a good relationship w her dad and mentioned way way back after she broke up with dak that she thought he was hiding their relationship (which he was... but she's just speculating) so she's just a teensy bit freaked out about james potentially doing the same thing. and it's totally like you said, she just doesn't understand quite yet. from what she knows about the diamond family, she sees james' dad as the problem, not his mom. she's in for a ride lol

"But, seriously, side note for these two: OPEN UP TO EACH OTHER!"

mannn they struggle with that don't they 😭 it's so hard to write! not that i'm a perfect communicator in my own relationships but... yeah i remember being 17 and wanting to share ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about myself so...

"Kendall sure knows how to bribe her, doesn't he? And the cheeky payback with Kendall on the ice is so Kendall. I really love how you touched on Kendall being a prodigy on the ice. And of course he was the Captain. I can see it. And the nicknames too. Sir Rounded. Pretty Boy. Tensie. Sensacional. Please, please, PLEASE have the boys refer to each other by those nicknames at some point. Or even Roxy."

roxy and kendall are like brother and sister to me; of course he knows how to get what he wants from her!! especially when joe jonas is involved... but yes!! they talk big hockey game in the show but we never really get to see it; so i wanted to highlight that just a little bit. go captain go! i really don't know anything about hockey irl but i do know that nicknames are a big thing at least in the american league! did my best. if you ask my friends im equally as terrible at nicknames in real life. and don't you worry roxy is definitely calling james pretty boy at some point in the future (she already did in the rockstar au!) but i'll have to find a way to work in the others. did anyone almost catch that kendall nearly told her logan's real name? hortense... 'tensie... oh god she's going to freak lmao...

"Side note: I love how all the hockey guys are super chill. I actually like that image of them being so aggressive on the ice, but actually be teddy bears in real life. (Something that especially fits Carlos.)"

:)))))))) even though they appear for so little in this chapter the hockey boys mean so much to me. if anyone reads my monthly book reviews... well... you know i love a good hockey romance! they're all themed quite similar - the giant, violent sports machine actually has a soft side... god i'm such a sucker for it! james really isn't like that, at least not in the way his friends are, but i gotta squeeze in some self-indulgence in here and there. i named most of the guys after characters from those books! hawkins comes from nate hawkins (icebreaker by hannah grace) ((i know! you can all boo me later)) callaghan comes from russ callaghan (wildfire by hannah grace) graham comes from garett graham (the deal by elle kennedy) miller comes from rory miller (the fake out by stephanie archer) logan (not that one) comes from john logan (the mistake by elle kennedy) and streicher comes from jamie streicher (behind the net by stephanie archer) PHEW!!!! we love a cameo

"And the way Roxy got tricked by Katie was so... that was just glorious. And the way Roxy freaked out when she realized what was happening was great too. This is making me excited for Big Time Crush. Their conversation at the end was such a great touch. I'm glad Katie has that older sister figure in her life."

katie MASTERMIND strikes again... though if she just asked rox would've taken her anway!!! she was just embarrassed... it's hard for her to talk about her feelings when she's growing up with not one, but FOUR, overprotective older brothers! someone left a comment on my wattpad and said they really loved the roxy/katie interactions and i realized they had like. such little time together so i needed to fix that asap! i don't have an older sister, but i am one, so i tried to channel that energy into that scene hehe

"AH! JO SAID THE L-WORD ABOUT KENDALL! Damn. That episode is gonna be even more heartbreaking now."

>:) sorry. had to! bothered the fuck out of me they never said it in the original show soooo

"And the cat's named Hippocrates?! That is such a Logan thing, though. And I love how Logan and Roxy were able to talk to each other about their respective heartbreaks."

eheheh it took me sooo long to come up with a name for the cat, it was originally einstein but we talked about hippocrates in one of my classes the day i edited the chapter and it just felt more fitting... here is the mister in the garden himself. thanks google!

and yess lord i love writing logan and roxy so so so much. out of all of them (even james!) she's most comfortable talking with him; i accidentally made them really similar personality wise and they just get along so well

"Aw, Carlos got Roxy on an early morning run. AND HE BROUGHT A PUPPY! (Her age doesn't matter - all dogs are puppies to me.) Missy sounds so cute! And the way she led the run is so cool. And I'm with Carlos. Keep Missy away from Lightning. He's such a protective dog dad."

MISSY!!!!! you are so right all dogs are puppies and missy is no exception!!!! i read somewhere a long time ago that dalmatians are natural leaders, so i just let our girl have her moment! my dog can be like that too though; she has her favorite walking paths! as for keeping her away from lighting... i think missy can hold her own :) but yes carlos is such a protective dog dad. that's his baby!!!! and here is missy, thank you once again google

"And seriously? James needed to ask if he could kiss Roxy at midnight? Also... can I live in Roxy's dream house?"

yes!! he's a gentleman!!! they were drinking!!!!!! but rox was def thinking the same thing as you hehe. and she's sooooo funny! miss ma'am gets a few drinks in her and she just starts blabbing and blabbing (just like me fr) for anyone wondering what her biggest fantasy is... she's literally living it idk what to tell you. dream job, living in her dream city, dating the hottest guy ever who is so sweet and attentive to her, and he's FAMOUS? not that james needs to know that she thinks that :) lord knows she's going to love the introduction of one direction in the third season...

lmaooo there you go - an equally as long wall of text i am also not going to apologize for... i was bursting with all this information and just waiting for someone to ask loll. you know me. i can talk about my own silly story for hours and hours and hours-

thank you so much again for reading! i'm so excited for the next chapter of take a shot in the dark!!! and i noticed you put in a new section of your ao3 for kaelyn knight stories? are we getting short stories in the future!? ahhhh!!!!!!

#thats all she wrote fic #ash talks tasw #THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU #i was so worried no one read it bc it was too long #normal length chapters coming after this; no originals for a while i promise #outside of maybe a few short stories on here if i come up with any in the mean time :))))

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kimmkitsuragi · 9 months

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the fame monster (2009) - my commentary edition

this is so fun, we started doing album commentary with a mutual!! anyone who wants in can join and add their thoughts too <3

BAD ROMANCE - THEEEE SONG OF ALL TIME TBH. excuse me i will literally write an essay on this. first of all: this changed the trajectory of pop music at that time. it really did. i dont want any further comments on this.

second of all, i knowww this is probably the most popular gaga song and everyone has heard it so many times in their lives (especially on the radio in early 2010s lol) BUT! i want everyone to hear it again and again and again. because they just dont make songs like this anymore!!! the production valueeeee are u hearing this????? the vocals??? the lyrics??? the POWER absolute power of this song. oh my god.

also, rah rah bitch. gaga ooh lala even.

last of all, when she said i dont wanna be friends french and THEN started speaking french??? 😭☝ i FEEL that lady gaga

ALEJANDRO - okay this CHANGED ME as a person. im not even kidding. i watched the music video, i was like 10, and it awakened something in me.

this song was also such a hit, and to be honest, it is simply insane to me that we were listening to this on the radio. like?? are u hearing this BEAT??? with that intro?? the hook???? that buildup??? please. this is pop perfection right here.

DONT CALL MY NAME ROBERTO 😔

MONSTER - i love this one so much. that boy is a monster mo mo monster, so fucking true! one thing i really like about a lot of her music is that the songs are jams and sound really fun, but then when u listen to the lyrics, it gets really really sad. this is a good example of this. she does that a lot starting from this album especially

also that little just dance reference hehe queen of intertextuality and self referentiality (i will say this every time she references her own songs and she does that A LOT i realized lol)

SPEECHLESS - the best gaga ballad!!! TO ME!! it's soooo good. her voice is so captivating (vocal queen always foreverrrr). the lyrics are so 😭😭 the production and instrumentals!! pleaseeee

side note: interesting how her trash father inspired so many of her best works 🤔 when i listen to this song i lose myself in it every time and then i think: QUEEN how could u possibly write this about your dad and how it can be soooo good???

DANCE IN THE DARK - one of her most underrated songs!!! definitely!!! THAT BRIDGE!!!!! marilyn, judy, sylvia tell em how you feel girls 🗣🗣🗣

i love this one so much. sooo much. how do the kids say nowadays, she is really mothering in this one, okay?

ooh and did u know that there is a rina sawayama cover of this song?? i love that as well.

TELEPHONE - oh my godddd the way i would try to do the dance of this but never could 😭 it was too much for little me...

okay this one is absolutely ICONIQUE as one would say. the music video??? that's poetic cinema. they left us with "to be continued" for over a decade now lmao 😭 i wish we could see them together again pleaseeee

what can i say, it's a hit!! another song that no one could escape from in early 2010s lol she's quite the hit-maker isnt she :)

SO HAPPY I COULD DIE - what a layered song. first of all, the lyricism of this song (this album in general tbh) really transcends. the way this can be sexual, or it can be about addiction at the same time. i really dont have the brain power to write abt it in depth but i just love the lyrics of this one sooo much

"i am as vain as i allow" this is so gaga.

TEETH - 😳😳😳 okay... this one is one of her hottest songs imo what does it say abt me lmao

i LOVE this like that beat... and it has such a musical theater vibe to it, it's so so good. has some really fun vocal moments too <3 really what a closer to this incredible album!!

(BONUS SONG) RETRO, DANCE, FREAK -

okay this one is a bonus song (technically for "The Fame" album, but released with the international deluxe edition of "The Fame Monster". so im putting it here as a bonus song lol)

this one is soooo fun for me. i wish this was in the original tracklist of The Fame instead of Disco Heaven tbh. it's fun, it fits the energy and vibe of the album so well. it would be a better closer imo :<

general comments - this album is POP PERFECTION in the literal sense im not even kidding. it's her shortest, but probably the most impactful work.

in terms of production, it has such a CLARITY that is really hard to see in many albums. the art direction and music meets the production perfectly. The Fame is an iconic album, sure. but The Fame Monster really takes a huge step ahead from that if you ask me. which says a LOT about the quality of this album

i want to say, the lyrics in this album is probably my favorite from her works. it just!!!! so good, so powerful!!! the dark side of fame may seem like an overdone concept, but she does it so well here

i would say this is her best album if i didnt know what will come later in her career lmao. it's just so good, so clean, so inspirational, i would just think "okay how will she top this cmon now"... but she does she really does that's really impressive on its own

ranking for now: the fame monster >> the fame

(the ranking may get Messy in the next album commentaries lmao but im just trying 🤷‍♂️)

#my commentary #gaga #🗒

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ethereousdelirious · 9 months

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God okay so I've been trying to write a sort of 'personal reflections of Sicktember' type post because i do sort of view writing as my primary chosen craft and I would like to keep improving at it but I keep not having time but I think I have time now

(Nobody has to read this lmao it's not necessarily "for" something)

So I've tried to participate in a few month-long community writing challenges over the years (Sicktember, Whumptober, Emetovember) and for the most part. Okay I'm trying to avoid the word "failed" because that implies there's a right and wrong way to participate, but uh. I guess quit? I failed to meet my own expectations.

Okay, wait.

I'm a completionist. That is the manner of participation in these events that is fun for me. So if I make another reference to "failing," I mean I failed to complete the challenge in my preferred way.

So yeah anyway I repeatedly failed these challenges. And Sicktember 2023 is the first year I was able to identify why I failed, remedy it, and succeed. (Though it is worth noting that I did complete Whumptober 2019, which was my first attempt at a challenge. We'll get to that.)

Let me chalk it up to 3 interconnected factors: Burnout, Skill Issues, Adverse Events

Burnout

On the surface, it seems simple. Read the prompt, get an idea, write a fill.

Yeah, it's not that simple.

For the longest time, I would just pursue the first idea that popped into my head, regardless of whether I would actually enjoy writing the fill. I would write for fandoms I wasn't really feeling at the moment because I thought they fit the best, forcing my ADHD brain through boring torture for no reward because "oh, but I used to like this thing and it just fits so well."

So when I finished, I would get no dopamine reward. Plus, my challenge fills have historically garnered very little attention (which is fine; I'm not entitled to that), which means that I also received no external reward.

The result is a string of short, dry, passionless fills that no one rightly should want to read. Why would anyone want to read something that I didn't want to write?

And that, my friends, is a recipe for burnout. So obviously I would get discouraged and quit.

That's why my Sicktember 2023 fills are so often repetitive. I forced myself to stick with the thing I really wanted to write even if i felt like I "should" have been writing something else.

Although I have to say, I did start running into problems at the end end where I started getting bored with my own self-indulgence, so I'll have to find a way to counter that next year.

Of course, being unable to write something to your own satisfaction is also a......

Skill Issue

I recently learned that the nebulous concept of "creativity" is a trainable skill. In fact, over Sicktember 2023, I honed my ability to come up with a tiny plot, creating a formula to help me come up with fills. These ideas can come in any order, but the idea is to identify a character, a want, and an illness/obstacle. All the fills I like use this formula and most of the fills I hate do not.

Incidentally, I think that coming up with a different obstacle or changing the way a character's illness impedes them is the key to writing the legendary "slowburn sickfic with plot," but that's a pursuit for another day.

Anyway, yeah, part of the reason I had to be so dependent on the first idea that popped into my head was because I didn't have the skills needed to develop a story.

If the prompt was "stitches" and the first thing that popped into my head was for a fic where Thor has to do field medicine on Loki, that's what I would write. Never mind the fact that I haven't cared about the MCU since 2012. Even though I'm really feeling Ace Attorney right now, past!me lacked the ability (or honestly, the confidence in my abilities) to develop a plot I would have actually cared about.

Also, because I was nervous about my ability to meet the challenge deadlines, I would focus on writing as quickly as possible, leading me to trip up in the face of...

Adverse Events

I don't know if this is confirmation bias or what, but something heinous always happens to me when I'm prepping for a writing challenge. It's been a variety of things over the years, each one legitimately upsetting and sometimes actually clinically traumatic.

Not to mention all the mundane stuff like trips, hangouts, parties, etc. I'm hyperactive and ambiverted, I have a bustling social life and a full schedule.

Regardless, if I missed a few days of writing, I would spiral. That was it, I was too far behind, I was never gonna make it, I should just give up.

Combine that with burnout as well and I really had no good reason to push through. Why should I grind on a project that wasn't even fun in the first place?

Something world-shatteringly horrible happened to me this Sicktember (being vague because it's still really hard to think about), and I did take a few days off because I was a traumatized mess-- crying, flashbacks, dissociation, the whole shebang.

And then, the craziest thing happened. After letting myself off the hook and taking care of myself, I regained some stability and wanted to come back.

So I did, and I just kept chugging away at the prompts. And I finished despite the setback!

Conclusion

I dealt with all the above shit and, for the first time ever, managed to complete a challenge to my satisfaction!

There are fills I'm less fond of based on prompts I don't really care for, but that's the nature of a challenge. I'm not ashamed of anything I wrote (unlike my past Whumptober fills *shudders* Those were all aggressively mediocre at best).

I'm happy! I enjoyed this challenge and I'm excited to take a crack at Whumptober.

#ethereous speaks #sicktemberposting 2023

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alatismeni-theitsa · 7 months

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Coming out story time, Γρεεκ edition. With a plot twist. Sorry for the long ass rant I just didn't know who else to tell my story who would get both the Greek Thinking TM and also be accepting of queer ppl.

Apologies for crude language (i think)?? I cannot describe it in a way that's as eloquent and beautiful as I want.

A. Μαμά.

I came out to my mother descriptively, because I knew if I said a Big Gay Word she'd instantly connect it to what she associates with Gay stuff, and I wanted to get her honest reaction, not what she thinks her reaction should be. And also because I Do Not Know what exactly I am (out of the whole LGBT alphabet, I could be Gay/Les, I could be Bi, I could maybe sort of kinda be trans but I do identify with womanhood in the Greek TM way so I don't think I can call myself NB? Anyway whatever, labels don't matter to me and only make me feel weird when applied to me), so there's that.

Specifically I said "Ma, I'm not only attracted to boys." Because that's the best I can describe my hauntingly persistent bisexuality as haha.

After the initial confusion, the first question she asked was "so you'd want to have sex with a woman?" A question I chose not to answer, one because Μαμά τι στο καλό θες να σου πω τώρα :/ and also because the answer is neither no or yes. It goes beyond just Mm Yes Pussy Nice for me. Reducing it to just that is making my skin crawl just as much as Mm Yes Dick Nice. That's dehumanising for me, I'm sorry. :/ My answer was literally "δεν ξέρω/δεν απαντώ" lmao.

And?? She may have accidentally come out to me too??? Without realising it?????

Because she said three things:

1. "Oh, when I was at your age I went through this phase as well." Which??????????? What does it mean if not the think I'm thinking of??? Ma have you really been in denial/the closet for 50 years?

2. "I was fiercely defensive of gay people when I was younger." Which, YES. As you should μαμά. Only it has created this haunting fear in me that in 30 years time, with "experience", I'll change too and I'll go against my gay brothers and sisters as Ορθοδοξία seems to want. Which I won't. I hope. I can only hope my heart won't change, even if I marry a guy and go ahead and have children of my own. Like... it doesn't make sense, HOW did she change her mind in the first place??? How does that happen to someone? Will it happen to me too?

3. "It's okay, I love you for who you are." In the end, all is good. Even if she thinks she's a phase that I'll grow out of, and probably would not allow me to think about dating/settling with another woman, she's not cutting me out of the will! She still loves me!! It's a win for me. :D

Also she approves of cute gender neutral nicknames because she's always called me that. Like: το ζουζουνάκι, το μαρουδάκι (εννοώντας πασχαλίτσα🐞), το κουφετάκι, κτλ.

I really love her little habits I'm sorry. :')

B. Αδερφούλα

I'll keep it brief because there's not as much to say. She's younger than me so she used to have a very much "oh ew wtf" reaction.

But recently?? She's been treating it like an inside joke??? Like, refering to me as "το τέρας" ή "το αρνί" because she knows I love being affectionately/jokingly called an "it". Also making gay jokes in rare occasions, which I love.

She's a little insecure about being perceived as Λεσβία for her fashion sense, and I regularly assure her that she can wear whatever makes her feel good and not worry about how others see her. Can she rock a γυναικείο κουστούμι like a boss? Fuck yea. Does that mean she's a lesbian just because she looks masculine and pretty at the same time? Fuck no, you do you boo. I know how much you like dressing like this. Nobody's opinion can take it away. And lesbians are not Bad either, so she has a lot to unpack in the future. But I'm still very proud of her and how far she's come since I first told her (long before mom actually) and I absolutely love her to death.

Also she called me a bottom. Shame on her. Gah, siblings.

Honorary entries:

C. Dad

I have yet to come out to him because he often ridicules openly queer people on TV. Like, οικογενειακά watching Eurovision the Maneskin year (every year really) was both hilarious and terrifying.

But, like?? He's also lowkey kinda Bi too in a repressed way? In the way that he's loyal to the woman he married but also making strong bromances when given the chance? It's so funny to me, because he has such a soft and fond expression when talking about friends he has sort of trauma-bonded with (term used loosely, but you know how Dads are).

I could also be just tripping and trying to seek comradeship where there's none because Parents are the ones a child seeks to relate to, but I'd rather not psychoanalyse me rn.

D. Granny

Also can I just talk about Passive Acceptance. Because granny (without knowing about my identity) sometimes refers to me and my sister as παλικάρι in a Gender Neutral sense ("δεν είναι μόνο τα αγόρια παλικάρια" she says. granny is a feminist icon without even trying to be. slay.) and it makes my woman-in-a-vague-sense-i-guess(?) heart do the little proud flutter thing.

Also does it make sense to be a non-binary when it comes to speaking English but sort of a woman (actually yes a woman but also yes and no at the same time because I look and act really soft cheery and feminine but I'm mentally also a τέρας από την άβυσσο και τα τάρταρα :D) when speaking Greek??? It's so confusing, how can I perceive gender in two entirely different ways at the same time what the everloving fuck. What AM I...??

Again, sorry for the jumbled thoughts, my last three braincells are busy rn χορεύing Καλαματιανό.

Γειαα! Παιδια με σκλαβωνετε με τα μηνυματα σας τελευταια 💗 Ειλικρινα χαιρομαι παρα πολυ που εχω εστω και λιγο την εμπιστοσυνη σας - εγω μια ξενη στο ιντερνετ - και μου λετε τις σκεψεις και τις ιστοριες σας! Το εκτιμω παρα πολυ!

Να ξερετε οτι ακομα και αν τυχον διαφωνουμε σε καποια πραγματα, μπορειτε να μου στελνετε μηνυματα. Γιατι ποτε δε θα διαφωνησω με το δικαιωμα καποιου να ζει με ασφαλεια και να ειναι ο εαυτος του (το οποιο ειναι ανθρωπινο δικαιωμα ουτως ή αλλως)

Επισης: Δημοσιευω το μηνυμα επειδη δεν υπηρχε καποια δηλωση που ελεγε να μην το κανω. Αν καποιος ομως θελει να μη δημοσιευσω καποιο μηνυμα ή να διαγραψω καποιο μηνυμα, ας μου το πει, δεν υπαρχει θεμα!

Οκ switching off to English!

The whole experience is So Greek, damn! Starting with Mother, telling her Descriptively, her saying that she also liked women "one time", then considering that something is off with Dad as well, then mentioning the accidentally supportive Grandma who gives no shits... Πρεπει να εχουμε ενα σχετικο επεισοδιο στις Οικογενειακές Ιστορίες ετσι για την ταυτιση των τηλεθεατων.

Also, just because I am a nosy dramatic bitch, I would DEFINITELY bring back this conversation if this was my mum, and I would tell her "You know that you like women too, right? You can't just... lose attraction for a whole gender overnight. And they also say that sexual orientation is genetic......" Just to see her reaction and try to convince her 😂 (Don't attempt if you think it won't go well for you! 😅)

I'm really happy about how you handled things with your sis! Being perceived as a lesbian is nothing bad because lesbians are nothing bad! She can rock whatever she wants, like you said! There are lesbians out there who dress like "everyone else", meaning that clothes can potentially be a hint but you can never tell just by the clothes. She has a lot to unpack indeed but with more teaching moments by you, I'm sure she's in good hands.

Oooooh that Dad case! I have a theory here, knowing Greek dads. Perhaps he will be more supportive than you think. Not just because of the things you mentioned, but because he loves you and supports you as his child (from what I read). Greek dads can be ride or die, especially with their daughters. So, if you are confident enough when you tell him, if you look logical and self-aware, he actually might back you up and he might be the most supportive! Parents often dismiss their children because they believe that children are doing it for attention, or because of a whim. Greek dads, I've noticed, want things to be told to them with huuuge neon letters, otherwise they don't act on the situation.

For example, you can be like "Dad, I want to tell you something. (diretor hint: play it sad and worried here, he might feel the need to be protective instead of defensive) I like women too, and I have been feeling it for a long time. I didn't feel it because someone else "indoctrinated" me to it. It's a natural feeling to me. It is not a phase. I cannot switch it on and off like it's a hall light. Most importantly, this is not dangerous for me. I know that you might be concerned and we can talk about it. I just want you to know because this is an important part of who I am."

-- Again, assess the situation accordingly. You definitely don't have to do anything I suggest. And you can make the dialogue more or less cheesy :P In any case, when you talk to him keep in mind that he's an older man who grew up in specific decades and you have to make an effort to set things his way otherwise things will be lost in translation and neither of you will notice.

That's how I got an old aunt to support me. 😂This aunt was the type that says "A woman liking another woman?? Ιησούς Χριστός!!" I noticed what things she valued most (being your own person, having fun in life, not allowing anyone to step on you) and I built my case by telling her that the way I live at the moment gives me all these advantages. I also matched her tone, and I tried to see things from her side, which eventually helped guide her to the mindset I wanted to introduce her to. Sometimes many conversations and subtle hints are needed for this guidance. And they also need to like you because the Greek statement "το δικο μας το παιδι ποτε δεν κανει κατι κακο! το δικο μας το παιδι ειναι χρυσο!" will usually prevail over "A woman liking another woman?? Ιησούς Χριστός!!" 😂

What's more, some parents of queer kids already know what their kids are. They just don't say anything out of fear they will encourage this behaviour. Meanwhile the kids get stressed for decades about how the parents will react, and when they finally come out the parents, the parents are like "eh... we already knew, to be honest. We've been watching you hug and kiss girls since you were like... six. We just hoped that you'd grow out of it, that's why we didn't bring it up. We didn't want you to grow up into a behaviour that would separate you from other kids cause they would bully you and harm you."

The grandma is TOP, by the way! I feel like many older people really know what's important in life. The thought of two women getting married might never be palatable to her but she knows that alienating family members for harmless shit is not where it's at. I love her already!

On the "It's so confusing, how can I perceive gender in two entirely different ways at the same time what the everloving fuck. What AM I…??"

It is a fact that people slightly switch personalities when switching languages. English is a more polite, careful, and tip-toeing language, while in Greece malakas is a word of love if said to your friend 😂 And it's true that cultures perceive gender in different ways. So if you switch to US English and get into their mindset, they have another version of femininity. (Well, the whole country is diverse but I'm talking about the generic, permeating WASP stereotype of the preferred femininity in the US media)

I switch behavior in English too and sometimes I find that I'm more polite and "more feminine" there, which for me... eeeh not my style so much. (English makes us dysphoric, pass it down 😂😂😂😂)

Which brings me to another discussion. I am not nonbinary so I won't want to speculate on what nonbinary is and how it feels. Instead I will speak about a phenomenon sometimes seen in women, who, (sometimes!) need to be seen as a person (who deserves full respect) and not "just a woman" they take up the nonbinary label. Being a woman (or a man) comes with certain expectations and baggage and sometimes as a woman (or as a man) you can totally feel like "fuck it, I want to opt out" or "I already don't do these things and I don't want to ever do them or feel them, so I guess am actually not a woman/man".

I want to stress again that I don't imply non-binary people are this. And I'm not saying that's you. I'm just leaving this out there because it's very harmful when society makes you feel like "failing" at your gender and telling you "you are not a real man/woman because you don't do the X stereotypes", and some people fall for it want to "opt out" of their gender without realizing that in the process they're following the logic of... binaries.

Whatever you identify as should come from the inside, not from what society tells you a woman should be. Because, as you noticed, the Greek and the US society have different notions of what a woman "should be". Heck, you might move to Sweden and find out that out there you feel like Barbie while in Greece you may feel like Babis doing the exact same things😂 Don't rely on society and stereotypes, my humble opinion is. Rely on yourself. And it's okay if you don't have a definitive answer to "what you are". Just live and present as you are most comfortable.

One more thought that I have, which you can also take or leave, is about the sexuality part. I'm not family or a friend, and I don't know you well. I'm not an authority and I don't think my words are scripture. My speculation could perhaps help your brain cells stop χορεύειν τσάμικον γύρω απ τη φωτιά στο δάσος 😂

Sooo... have you considered asexuality?

Heeeaaar me out. Your confusion seems a bit similar to that of people who are asexual but don't know it yet. First of all, there's a difference between aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction. Asexuals usually start thinking they are gay or bi because their sexual attraction to men and women is the same. Zero. 0 = 0 after all 😂

At the same time, asexuals can often feel "off" in their gender and gender expression because automatically they don't subscribe to amatonormative rules and hence, they don't subscribe to gender rules.

An asexual can still have aesthetic attraction to people (just not sexual) and want a romantic relationship. An asexual can have aesthetic attraction to only one gender or many. There's a whole spectrum in asexuality, and there are ace identities like the aegosexuals who are actually not sex repulsed. They are interested in sex as an idea, but they just don't experience sexual attraction for people in real life. (Imagine it like, you like watching football for the rush and the technique, but there's nooo way you want to go down on the field and start kicking a ball.)

Their relationships with their significant others are often "queerplatonic" because the way they perceive gender and companionship (that is not friendship) is queer compared to the rest of society.

I thought about this cause you mentioned the "hauntingly persistent bisexuality", and also because usually the answer to "so you wanna fuck women?" is "eh…yes??" if you are attracted to women in the usual way xD But of course, it might be just your character, that you don't want to focus on sex despite having sexual attraction, and, as you said avoid "dehumanizing" the other. So again, my speculation might be wrong. If you know you are sexually attracted to people, and if you don't have to ask "what is sexual attraction tho?" then that's probably not it😄

Okay, I rambled for too long again but I hope this message has helped you at least in one way. Know that you are already slaying out there and you WILL CONTINUE to slay because you're a cool and kind person with great self-reflection skills.

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Generic message: If my posts have helped you in any way consider buying me a ko-fi 💖

#answered #greek speaks #lgbt+ in greece #queer

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your-rdo-gf · 7 months

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Part 1/2 Long text ahead and a mixture of cringe RP stuff and "two stoned friends with way too much time on their hands" stuff. Be warned lol. I had kind of an internal monologue while doing this trail ride. Probably because I was inebriated, but regardless I took some mental notes and wanted to put it in writing before heading to bed. Everything is perfectly optional to read, of course, since I'm mostly writing this all for myself, but more power to you if you're interested! This post is kinda randomly peppered with screenshots I thought were pretty, and then some that are actually written about. I did my best to place them accordingly! The devs of the mod menu I use, Fortitude, recently added a slow motion feature which I've been having an absolute blast with! So tonight, accompanied by a lovely friend (whom I'm just going to refer to as Charles for simplicity's sake), I went on a nice long digital trail ride with Charles and took some screenshots. This was a whole ordeal lol. Started out rather normal, no issues whatsoever as we were in a private server and had all the time in the world to just take our time and take pics. We listened to music, smoked a bowl, just got comfy and prepared for a LONG journey because I wanted this whole thing to be in slowmo. Charles hasn't really played RDR2/RDO before, much less with mods, so I had to teach him a bit. But I digress! Early into the ride I started playing Angels and Airwaves, a band that I grew up with and love dearly. Turns out… Charles hates them lol. But he DID agree that they fit the Charles and Blair aesthetic really well with both sound and lyrics, plus helped me pick out the best song to put some clips to, so there's that. Then we ran into the red coyote. I tried my hardest to ignore it, truly. But my ADHD got the best of me. I think we spent the better part of 30 minutes in a constant back and forth of "Where is it?!" "THERE!!" "WHERE?!" "RIGHT THERE!" "I CAN'T SEE WHERE YOU'RE POINTING, YOU'RE IN A DIFFERENT ROOM!" Let me tell you, chasing a coyote with cinematic mode on and in slow motion is HARD. I wish I had gotten some better pictures. Oh well though, the experience was worth it. And then I killed the poor thing. I didn't mean to, but I ran it over a couple of times and that did it in. I was actually gonna let it go after taking pics, and just let it despawn, but I guess little coyotes are no match for two stomps of an Arabian's hooves. So after selling the little cutie to Gus and getting my garment (that's my fave legendary and I somehow hadn't gotten it yet; I only let myself get legendaries when I see them in game and won't spawn them for myself), we continued south. More screenies, ofc, and I wanted to hurry through Armadillo (that town gives me the creeps. Also, I waved to a cop once and immediately became wanted) but Charles insisted we stop so he can buy some food (I told him how to fill his cores but he was immersed at this point lol, brave soul had been riding almost entirely in first person). So while he went to the general store, I chilled out with Johnny and Taima (Johnny is my horse, the brindle Arabian) and took some more pics. I caught a glimpse of Charles sprinting his big ass out of the shop when I said I was doing so, he immediately came running and said "Wait! I wanna see what [Charles] looks like on Johnny!" As if I was about to let that photography opportunity slip by lmao. Seeing Charles sprint is HILARIOUS btw. He's got kind of a naturally bow legged stride, and he honestly kinda runs like it's heavy. Iykyk. I gotta break the post off here bc Tumblr isn't cooperating, but I'll post part two in just a second. ♥

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #red dead online #rdo #red dead 2 #red dead oc #charles smith #oc x cc #the bison and the bear

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