#not one goddamn original experience in my goddamn life
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Hold it together (Simon Riley x reader)
Note: This takes place seven years after the second part. Warning: death.
It had only been three weeks since the funeral. The girls were still closed up like clams, shutting Simon out completely despite their young age. Lucy was seven, Nora was five, and he couldn't believe that they had to experience the death of their mother this soon. He was lost as well, having no idea how to deal with losing you.
While at the beginning he pushed you away, believing he didn't deserve the love you were trying to give him, later you became his other half, his partner in crime, the most caring and nicest lover he ever had. He would have never imagined he would once have someone like you in his life. And now? You were gone for good because of that goddamn accident.
Johnny loved the girls and whenever he was around, he had offered to look out for them while the two of you went out on a date. Now he was trying to lighten the mood, coming up with ideas for fun activities, but Simon saw it in his daughters that they weren't excited about them.
While he was waiting for his broken ribs to heal, the sergeant stayed with them to make life easier. One night Simon tucked in the girls and his heart ached when he saw the youngest getting ready to sleep with a photo of you on the edge of her bed.
“You miss mommy?” he asked as he swept a strand of hair out of her beautiful little face.
Nora was sniffling quietly as she nodded.
He loved both his daughters equally, but the balance was perfect. Lucy was a lot like him, a real tomboy who had been wanting to try martial arts ever since they watched the original The Karate Kid movie. She had been handling your death surprisingly well, maybe that's because her personality was a lot like his.
But this young lady was your carbon copy in and out. Seeing her missing you so much proved your strong connection, the one he would never be able to build with her. He had never seen anything like it, and this made it hard for him to console her if she was upset. She had always ran to you for support, but now she was sad because you were gone.
Simon pulled the girl against his chest, his eyes falling on his other daughter who was watching them from her own bed. He could see her eyes shining from the tears, but she held herself together. “It's okay, babygirl,” he whispered to Nora as he rubbed her back. “I miss her too, you know. And I'm sure Lucy misses her as well. But we're strong, aren't we?”
She mumbled something in agreement then pulled away to bury herself under the thick blanket. “Goodnight, Daddy.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead then stood up and went over to Lucy, leaning down to give her a goodnight kiss too. “Sleep well, big girl.”
When he turned to the door, Johnny was already waiting for him, leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded over his chest. There was a look of understanding in his blue eyes, and he put a hand on Simon's shoulder when they reached the bottom of the stairs.
“They're kids, they'll adapt and move on. Maybe not soon, but eventually they will,” he tried to assure him. “I'm not so sure about you, though. I woke up to you coming down the stairs last night. I swear you're moving around this place like a real ghost.”
With a sigh, Simon walked around the Scotsman and threw himself on the couch. “Her parents want custody,” he told him, finally giving him an insight into what was truly bothering him. “They're willing to drag me to court. I'm not suitable to be a single parent because of my job, they say.”
Johnny sat on the armchair next to him and rested his elbows on his thighs as he leaned closer. “Bullshit. Price would help you get an early retirement if you asked,” he said, looking way more upset than Simon.
“Who knows, maybe staying with them would be better for the girls.”
“Don’t say this. You need to fight for them. They need their father,” Johnny added.
This broke Simon. He couldn't hold back the tears anymore, the tears he had been fighting ever since that night. His friend being by his side helped him keep it together, but they never talked about what exactly he went through because he always said he couldn't remember.
But he remembered lying in the ambulance, asking about you, begging for crumbs to find out what happened to you, if you were also on your way to the hospital, but they didn't tell him anything. “I’m sorry, we don't know,” one of them said.
“Talk to me, Simon,” Johnny quietly said once he sat down next to him on the other side of the couch. “You need to get this out of your system or you'll go crazy.”
Still fighting his tears, the lieutenant took a deep breath and finally began to talk. “She was unconscious. I–I remember looking over at her in the wreck but she wasn't moving, wasn't responding to my questions. They later said I had a concussion so probably that's why some time fell out of my memory. I don't remember how I ended up in the ambulance.
They didn't tell me anything. In the hospital I got out of the bed and went to look for someone who could finally tell me what the fuck happened, but I bumped into a doctor who was talking to a police officer. That's when I found out she was dead by the time help arrived,” he finished with a shaking voice.
Johnny leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. “Did you have the chance to say goodbye?”
“I might have threatened someone to be allowed to go to the morgue. Her body was bruised, scarred, and bloody. Not how I want to remember her. But yes, I could say goodbye.”
“You need to fight, Simon. For her. She wouldn't want her parents to take the girls away from you,” the sergeant told him firmly as he reassuringly put a hand on his shoulder.
Just when he was about to answer, tell him he felt like it was a battle he was sure to lose, they heard light footsteps coming from the door. It was Lucy who walked over to them, sitting next to his father and resting her head on his arm.
“Do Grandma and Grandpa really want to take us away?” she asked hesitantly as she glanced up at her father. Simon nodded. “I don't want to go. I want to stay with you, Dad,” Lucy said, already sobbing.
Simon let out a sigh before wrapping an arm around her small body and placing a soft kiss on the crown of her head. “I don't want you to leave either, trust me. I'll do everything I can to stop them, okay?”
“Pinky promise?”
“Pinky promise.”
#ghost#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#modern warfare#mw2#mw3#call of duty#john mactavish#john soap mactavish#soap
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LU Update! So welcome back to the analysis corner with me!
We have another LU update! Called Moving forward we see the heroes leave the town and make their way to the location that Sky found. With learning a little more about the team as a whole.
With 10 pages there's a lot of information to work through so I hope you are sitting comfortably
As always Linked universe (LU) belongs to @linkeduniverse and Jojo, I own none of the pictures I'm using and please give the original post some love. It's very well done and I love this comic so much.
You can find the comic here!
And as always there are spoilers abound for the most recent update!
Now sit back, grab some water and snacks and let's do this!
So before we get started im just gonna say that the brain cell is pinging around this lot so much that I'm bound to miss some stuff. But I shall try my best to get everything I wanna say said.
It was only some of you, captain, dont forget that.
(Oblatory look at my blorbo picture, he's so sweet. Blorbo blorbo blorbo)
Okay I'll behave this time
(No i won't)
I can understand the concern from the captain, as a captain from the army during a time of war secrets are dangerous. He's probably thinking if Twilight has concealed this what else has he concealed.
And then we get snarky wars again
I missed the snarky captain, he's wonderful.
Also the line about double duty, Come on captain, you know full well that patrol is an important part of a group dynamic like this.
This also confirms that the group have had encounters with monsters outside of what we've seen. As the line from wars about missing fights implies that they've fought a bunch of stuff. But we've only really seen wolfie in a fight back in the sunset arc.
Twilight fondly mentioning Midna, I'm so proud of him.
These two are the goddamn brothers ever and I love them dearly. Also, the knowledge we are about to be given about how this works is very exciting.
The brothers ever
All of them
Twilight thinking Wild had more than two brain cells. I love him. And the hug? The hug gives me life.
Also the captain, the captain is a point to talk about here. This feels like an accusatory sentence. The "You dont say?"
Me trying to figure out how time travel works in LU.
Legend, why are you so grumpy about this? Like he looks angry to hear this.
Four thinking about the implications of this sentence. I can literally hear the brain cell bouncing as it pings from hero to hero as they try to figure out this time travel thing.
Wind is a small bean as well look at him. The youngest I love the eyes.
Ahh, so thats the explanation. A spirit wolf that helped guide him on his journey which he trusted so much that he thought that the wolf he saw here was just another spirit until twi changed in front of him.
But this line from him is so sad. "Right after my resurrection" and "we both would have known the grave." This feels like as a person wild is at peace with it but doesn't want others to have to go through what he did. He's a chill dude and i love him for that to be honest.
Meanwhile, my blorbo Sky is out here trying to get actual work done. This is 10/10 the sksw dousing experience if you've not played it. You just swing the sword around while it pings at you until you eventually find what you are looking for.
Fi is trying her best.
Lads all of you need to remember that not all of you have had things that perform transformation magic. Im surprised (But also not surprised) That Time doesn't have anything to say about this. Like my man has used a tone of different transformation masks that change him into various different things and has one that turns him into a god.
The magic users ganging up on the non-magic users, like please behave.
Ahh Time, Time is the disappointed old man that has to coral a bunch of kids. And Wild is like the most kid of them all. (Tell me why I'd love to know! :D) (Which makes sense if we take LU to be at most a few months after the end of his game. Wild would be 18 at most.)
the sort of conversation you dont want to involve yourself in Time trust me on this one.
JUST SOME GUY WILD JUST DESTROYED TWILIGHT OKAY RIP
Feels bad for twi man he earned that title and to have it reduced to just some guy.
Wild is gonna get told off by Time if he ain't careful, that's his blood descendant right there and we all know he has a soft spot for him.
This is important, because I'm pretty sure most of them did at one point.
Another thing that appears to be a constant amongst the team is the need to conceal an identity. Either from them or them to others.
I'm not versed in all of their games so I can't go into full details but these guys ain't the only ones. Pretty much all of them have. The spirit of courage does love secrets, doesn't it?
Thats my blorbo and he's so sad help he
Blorbo blorbo blorbo
Give him a hug and reboot Fi and it'll be fine.
To echo the words of Time.
Curious.
Now this depends on what exactly Sky was dousing, was he dousing the portal, the helmet outside the portal? The postman even?
My money is on the helmet outside the portal, so that Dink came back into this timeline to retrieve it before leaving. But I may be incorrect on that account because Fi is able to track people as well as objects (Sksw would often have you tracking Zelda directly)
OHHHH
I was wondering how they were going to do it. But with Twilight able to track it they'll be able to use a combination of dousing and him sniffing out Dink's scent to be able to find him no matter where he might be.
It's so distinct, twilight you know by saying that you're gonna have some of these guys asking questions. Just wait for the next campfire story time it's gonna come up.
I can see Wind and Twilight having a conversation like this.
"What does Dink smell like?"
"What?"
"You heard me."
Oh he's so excited look at him!
Oh four.
I wonder if we are gonna have a four and Twilight conversation about this, with four's past he's understandably worried about the use of dark magic in one of his friends.
Oh come on legend lighten up, the child has never seen something like this before.
I'm glad Hyrule is coming in for his defence and all but 5 minutes ago Hyrule you were with Legend and saying to Wild that there's a load of items that do it.
Why is wind just so wonderful?
Look at him go!
Thats gotta be Wind, He's been so excited about this I can't see it being anyone else.
Bark Bark!
Wolfie beloved.
Im here for more brotherly content from the team, they are wonderful.
Now lets go find us a Lizard, or iron knuckle or whatever he transforms into next.
And thats all from me! I loved this update and there was so much to unpack I know I've missed stuff! But I hope you enjoyed it! :)
(Also apologies for spelling mistakes I'm sick rn but wanted to get this done)
Have a great day!
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu update time#comic analysis with major#lu update spoilers#corner of lu updates#lu spoilers#moving forward#ramble corner with major#lu sky#lu four#lu twilight#lu time#lu legend#lu chain#lu hyrule#lu warriors#lu wind#lu wild#i love making these sm#major once again pusher her Sky blorbo propoganda#you are all welcome#:)
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Hello sorry if this is a bother but I am asking in good faith where is the reading for transmasc nepeta. I’m asking this cuz of your last ask (the June one) and I see aradia Dirk and Jane. Thoes all I have seen post and analysis about. But I have not really seen anything about nepeta.
Okay so first thing you gotta understand is that gender in Homestuck, for lack of a better way to say it, can be understood in how characters reflect and relate to each other. That being said to understand Nepeta's gender, we gotta understand the gender of at the very least one other person.
Dave.
And more specifically.
Davepeta, Homestuck's very own first(ish) trans character.
Davepeta is noted to be a sort of platonic ideal of existence for both Dave and Nepeta. Somehow, through a strange series of cosmic coincidences, these two end up making an odd sort of parallel. Both having a strange relationship to a man who loves him some goddamn horses. The whole Akwete Purrmusk thing. I mean, Dave canonically engaged in semi-nonironic furry roleplay with Nepeta offscreen, and given what we know about what becoming a furry in Homestuck means, it's not a leap to describe this as their ideal form.
But, although we don't see a lot of Nepeta's character arc, we do see a lot of Dave's. He struggles his whole life under an incredibly oppressive masculine force (both of Bro and, indirectly, Lord English), and once the game is over ends up deconstructing and largely rejecting that.
So when Davesprite, who's also probably been thinking about this for even longer, bereft of purpose or identity, finds a kindred soul in a spunky catgirl... well the rest is Davepeta.
And similarly, there are points in the story where Nepeta acts kind of uncomfortable with how others see her as exclusively something to be protected. The whole "Dear, sweet, precious Nepeta" grates on her early on, as Equius uses it as an excuse to control her actions. The whole of moiraillegience as it is originally explained (i.e. one party helps to calm down an especially brutal and violent person from outbursts of anger, and in turn that person will protect the more docile, even-tempered soul from external harm) even kind of FEELS like the way heterosexual relationships are portrayed in a lot of conservative spaces, where women are nuturers and caretakers while men are protectors. And Nepeta is supposed to, in this situation, be the person who helps Equius manage his emotions, which she feels some consternation at!
Now, over the course of Hivebent, their relationship appears to evolve and get a bit more balanced, but it still carries these overtones of "I will protect you, and you will handle my outbursts." Notably, when Equius goes to seek the Highb100d, and leaves Nepeta behind.
And of course not after roleplaying as each other.
Which. I mean come on.
But notably, Nepeta doesn't just stay put! She doesn't really want to be protected all the time! And when push comes to shove, she leaps out to defend, or at the very least avenge, her best friend.
And then, we don't really see Nepeta for a while!
Until we get to the end of the comic.
During their whole "date", Nepeta seems a little uncomfortable with Jasprose's affections. She may be a bit flattered, but Jasprose also fully admits later that she was frankly looking for any girl she could fall in love with after the tragic death of her girlfriend and possible more tragic untimely resurrection.
But then the pivotal handshake happens, and we get to see who is perhaps the most happy being in all of Homestuck.
Then we get into some of the only actual discussion of gender in Homestuck. We don't get much besides that, for both of their lives, Dave and Nepeta both felt something was missing. Something felt wrong that they couldn't quite place that made them both miserable. I don't think it's a massive stretch to say this could be gender dysphoria.
And when they combine, they feel the fullness of the gendered experience they were missing, melded together like a two-piece puzzle.
Now while the abovementioned "strong identities as a boy and a girl" might throw you off, I would point to what Victoria Lacroix said about this passage: note the lack of the word "respectively." I rest my case.
Now full disclosure, my personal headcanon for Nepeta is genderfluid transmasc. The whole affinity for roleplaying lends itself to a more shifting identity and I just think Nepeta, given more time, would love exploring the little nooks and crannies of gender.
This isn't going into the more complicated shit with Gender when it comes to Equius and Dirk and all that other stuff. Here's a quick summary so you can see exactly how my brain is broken.
Anyways, thanks for the question! I hope I answered my thoughts on the topic adequately! If other people have more to say about this, please feel free to add on!
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Hey.
Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.
So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.
I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.
Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.
I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.
Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.
The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.
How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.
Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.
Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.
Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.
To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.
Nothing but love,
Liz 💛
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Okay.
I don't often gush about movies on this blog. Hell, I don't often go to the movies anymore. I just don't have the attention span for it. And I honestly was going to give this one a miss until someone who's opinion I trust was adamant that I needed to see this film right now on the biggest screen possible while I still had the chance. So, FOMO out won over, and I went to go see Godzilla Minus One in Imax.
...
Look, I've been a Godzilla fan practically all my life. My family used to rent those old english dubs of the films on VHS from Blockbuster in the early nineties. I grew up with these monsters. But I have to admit, I've never seen the original, nor have I seen Shin Godzilla. To me, Godzilla is about one thing and one thing only.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Gimme the big monsters just going HAM on each other. Rubber suits, CGI, I don't care! I want the big boys with beef to beef with a large side of cheese!
I guess that's why Godzilla 2014 ultimately left me feeling kind of cold while I absolutely loved KOTM despite how stupid a lot of it was. I just want my big monsters absolutely wrecking shit.
This was different. I knew it was going to be different. A remake of the original Godzilla, this time from the viewpoint of the common citizens still trying to get their lives together after WW2? I knew I was in for some heavy drama.
What I didn't expect was one of the most amazing theater experience I have ever had.
And I'm not just saying that because the movie is good, even though it is.
I'm not just saying that because the movie is great, even though it is.
I'm not just saying that because it's a goddamn masterpiece, even though it is.
I'm saying that because it's about as close to perfect of a film as you can get, and not just of a Godzilla movie, but just as a movie!
Like, it's a running joke that you can cut the human characters out of any Godzilla movie. Here, you could cut Godzilla out and still have a great movie. That's how good the human side of things was.
Like, you really grow attached to these people who have literally lost everything. You grow invested in their struggles, in their relationships, in their baggage, in their love for one another. You come to care about them and are genuinely happy as they eke out a new life after having their homes literally blown to bits. You just want to see them succeed and be happy together.
And that's when Godzilla shows up.
This movie is called Godzilla Minus One in reference to how post-war Japan was basically a Zero Society, left devastated by the conflict. And these people who literally were left with nothing suddenly find even that ripped away as an enormous monster just starts rampaging through the recovering cities.
And this time, Godzilla isn't an avenging hero. He's not a destructive anti-hero. He's not a fun mascot. He's not even a poor, suffering monster unaware of the destruction that he's wreaking. This Godzilla is goddamn menace, an outright monster that is absolutely terrifying. He wants to crush, kill, and destroy. This is Godzilla at his most actively malicious, and all you can do is gape up in horror with these people that you've come to care so much about, wondering how in the hell are they supposed to deal with this!
I won't give away how the day is eventually saved, only to say that it is a masterclass of character-driven suspense and emotion. You honestly come to root for the humans for once. You want to see them succeed, and are genuinely in fear for their lives. No exaggeration, I had my heart in my throat and tears in my eyes all throughout the climax. I don't cry during movies, and this movie made me sob like a baby. It was that good.
And it also had so much to say! Not only about Japan's collective trauma following the nuclear bombs or the other bombing raids like the original, but also about how the Japanese government dehumanized its own people during the war, treating them as expendable resources to fuel the war machine. The main character is a freaking kamikaze pilot who lost his nerve and abandoned his mission, and that plus another act of what he saw as cowardice haunts him throughout the movie, and while it realistically shows how such a person would be treated like a pariah by his former friends and neighbors, it is nothing but sympathetic toward him. He blames himself constantly, but the narrative never seems to.
And there's just this wonderful moment near the end, when it's clear that the government isn't coming to the rescue, so it's up to the common man to band together and find a solution, when a few men leave the mission for fear of their lives and that of their families, and are not condemned for it. And the scientist spearheading the whole thing gives this lovely little speech about how carelessly life has been treated during the war, from the kamikazes to the poorly maintained supply chains to how the common folk were left to fend for themselves, and he hopes to just once be able to secure a win that doesn't sacrifice any more lives. Wow.
I know it's probably too late for anyone else to see it, because I'm pretty sure it's theatrical run ends today. I just wanted to get this review off my chest, because wow, this was the best movie I've seen all year. What a goddamn masterpiece.
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do you like either eden or bimbo!reader better?
I honestly can't choose! I think both Eden and Bimbo!Reader are unique in their own ways and they both have things that I find interesting and enjoyable. At the moment I'm hyperfixated with Eden and AI (even got a tattoo about AI goddamn the 'tism hits hard), so I'd say that for now, though not exactly liking her better than Bimbo!Reader, she's been in my mind more.
Nerd ramble ahead !! 😭😭
Despite the fact that Eden is unable to experience emotions, she's programmed to mimic human emotions, and she herself chooses to tease Simon because her code finds the reactions pleasant. Though everything written has been fluff so far, I believe Eden has a lot of potential when it comes to other genres such as angst.
Like, imagine being so lonely that you fall in love with something that isn't human, something created by a group of engineers and perfectly crafted to mimic what a human is like. If she reciprocates Simon's feelings, is it because she's somehow able to be sentient enough that she gets to experience emotions, or is she acting that way because she's programmed to have unwavering loyalty to Simon? Eden was specifically created for someone with Simon's personality after all, so to what point does her code extend when it comes to what she experiences?
Not to mention she will eventually have a physical body, so if Simon ever wants to try something with her, will an AI be able to consent, or is she simply agreeing to be intimate with Simon because she's programmed to assist him?
And what if she somehow gets lost, left behind, or if she sacrifices herself/gets used as bait because, at the end of the day, a human life is seen as far more valuable than a robot's by society's standards. Simon wouldn't know how to cope because, really, how do you cope with the ''death'' of something that was never alive in the first place?
Would he get a new AI assistant, or will he refuse to get a new one until the engineers somehow manage to get Eden back? What if he's offered a new Eden, yet she's so different from the one he fell in love with? So plain and empty, not knowing about anything him and the original Eden experienced.
BUT !! I'm a bitch for fluff so it's likely that'll never happen 💗
There's also A LOT of potential for smut once Eden gets a physical body. She may not have a vagina, but Simon can and will use wireplay to his advantage !!
RAHHH I went off and rambled a lot, sorry, the hyperfixation is strong rn fehjbkefhjbkhjbef
#stray answers#simon ghost riley#call of duty#ghost mw2#simon riley#ghost cod#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#cod mwii#cod mw2#bimbo!reader#simon riley x bimbo!reader#ghost x bimbo!reader#bimbo reader#ai!reader#ai assistant!reader
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I've often wondered what would happen if you used the Dragon Balls to resurrect someone that's been reincarnated?
While it has a fuckton of original fantasy elements to it, the spiritual mythology of Dragon Ball is rooted in Japanese Buddhism. Upon death, you are taken before Enma-Daio, a real mythological figure who governs the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth known as samsara.
Fun fact, it's commonly believed that Goku was rewarded for his good and meritorious deeds by being allowed to keep his body and go train under Kaio. But actually, Enma-Daio was against letting Goku go to Kaio because of his good and meritorious deeds.
Enma's position was basically, "This guy's earned a full ride to The Good Place and you want to throw that away on a risky death-hike that will probably land his ass in Hell!? Are you out of your goddamn mind?"
He reluctantly acquiesced, but he wasn't happy about it.
You really want to go dumbass yourself into Hell then whatever. No skin off my back, I guess.
Hell, or Jigoku as it's known in Japanese Buddhism, is a bit complicated. There are various "planes", so to speak, of Jigoku not unlike the circles of Dante's Inferno but with one particular key difference.
Under samsara, the afterlife is a transient experience. For everyone, good and bad alike, save for those who manage to break free from the karmic cycle. This is the ultimate goal.
Note that while we never see Jigoku for ourselves in the manga, it does show up in the anime - Along with two more real mythological figures.
This is Gozu and Mezu, a pair of oni who serve the role of dragging people into Jigoku. Fun fact, this episode is actually based on two separate misadventures of the Monkey King Sun Wukong, who Goku is meant to be an adaptation of. Understanding the assignment, Toei drew a lot of inspiration from Journey to the West when writing Goku-centric filler episodes.
In any case, time spent in Jigoku is limited, determined by the extent of one's negative karma. There are a few references to the transient experience of being dead, predominately for villains. The most prominent is, of course, the fate of Majin Buu.
In gratitude to Goku for the great service he's performed, Enma-Daio made that happen. He rushed Buu through the cycle, allowing him to be reborn on Earth and with his power intact.
Post-God Merger Piccolo also brings up the karmic cycle when Vegeta, in a rare moment of self-reflection, seeks spiritual clarity from him.
Vegeta's going to Jigoku to expend the bad karma he's accumulated over his life, and then he too will be born again as a new incarnation.
This is the system of life and death that forms the foundation of Dragon Ball's mythology. You die, you expend the good or bad karma you've accumulated in life, and then you are reborn to go another round.
Complicating the matter is that not only does reincarnation exist within this mythology but. Uh. So does resurrection.
There are restrictions, of course. Shenron cannot revive someone who has already died before.
And a mass-revival under a shared condition has a time limit of one year.
But there's no such limitation on single revivals. At least, it's never established that there is one. The time to bring it up would probably have been Goku's afterlife training for one year in preparation for the Saiyans' arrival.
So. That. Raises an interesting question.
What would happen if you had Shenron resurrect someone whose soul is presently occupying another body in the mortal world?
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two weeks ago // ben barnes
Summary: You and Ben broke up two weeks ago; you’re still not over it, but your friend convinces you to go to a party, and everything goes down when you see Ben there with a new girl.
Pairing: Ben Barnes x Reader
Word count: 4.2k
Warnings: alcohol consumption, drunken reader, heartbreak, angst, but a happy ending
A/N: As always, remember English is not my first language. This isn’t proofread, so I apologize for any grammatical errors this may have
main masterlist | ben barnes masterlist
You were well aware that it was a terrible decision.
Attending a party just a fortnight after parting ways with your boyfriend, knowing fully well that he would be there as well? Utterly foolish.
However, your friend Kiernan possessed a remarkable talent for persuasion, and against your better judgment, you succumbed to her coaxing.
Little did you know that this ill-fated night would soon become one of the most wretched experiences of your life, second only to the heart-wrenching night of your breakup with Ben.
As you found yourself broken and tearful in the shadows, there he stood, radiant and resplendent, looking more magnificent than ever, with an enchanting blonde by his side, her arm intertwined with his.
The audacity of this man!
How dare he?
You swiftly exited the room before he could see you. The last thing you wanted was to grant him the satisfaction of witnessing your tears once more.
Kiernan was hot on your heels. “Y/N, wait! I'm sorry,” she said when she finally caught you. “I had no idea he would bring someone along.”
You offered a small, understanding nod. “Don't blame yourself, Kiki. It's not your fault. I just wanna go home.”
The memory of that fateful night reverberated relentlessly in your mind. The origin of the chaos remained a blur, a hazy recollection lost in the depths of your consciousness. However, there came a moment when tears streamed down your face while Ben struggled to hold back the tears that were brimming in his eyes. Despite the emotional turmoil, his voice remained resolute and unwavering. And within moments, he was walking out the door—not just out of your apartment but out of your life as well.
Maybe it was your fault.
Maybe you should have fought tooth and nail.
Maybe you shouldn't have given up on the slightest problem.
Maybe… Maybe you should have told him you loved him.
Oh, how desperately you wish you could go back to that night and change your mind.
But alas, it was too late now.
He had moved on.
It took him two weeks.
Two fucking weeks.
Maybe you were a fool.
Maybe you weren't as significant to him as you thought.
Maybe you fell harder than he did.
Maybe he didn't even fall.
Maybe he never felt a thing for you.
If he loved you, he would have spoken up, wouldn't he?
If he loved you, he wouldn't have walked away.
The first thing you did when you walked into your apartment was go straight for a bottle of vodka that you and Kiernan had been saving for special occasions. The pain in your heart begged for some kind of relief, and though you were aware that alcohol was merely a temporary and unwise solution, you consumed it without hesitation. The burning sensation as it slid down your throat was a harsh reminder of your desperation, yet you continued to drink until Kiernan swiftly took the bottle from your grasp.
“This isn't the answer, Y/N,” she said, her voice heavy with concern.
“I don't care,” you retorted defiantly, snatching the bottle back and taking another swig. "I’ve lost him forever."
Kiernan's face displayed a mixture of sadness and understanding. She knew all too well the depth of your feelings for Ben.
“Two weeks, Kiki. Just two goddamn weeks.” You slammed the bottle down on the counter, the weight of your emotions crashing down on you. The tears threatened to spill once more as the haunting images invaded your thoughts.
“He's a complete idiot, Y/N. You deserve better.” Your friend's words were meant to console you, but they only fueled the fire of longing within you.
“He's not. He's… he's perfect.”
There it was.
The first tear fell, followed by an unstoppable cascade.
“I want him back.”
Your friend stared at you, baffled. “What the hell, Y/N? Look at yourself. You're crying over him! He hurt you, and now you want him back?”
The irony wasn't lost on you.
You reached out, your trembling hand desperate to reclaim the bottle, but Kiernan swiftly evaded your grasp, maintaining a firm hold. The throbbing ache in your head intensified, a relentless reminder of the pain that consumed you. Was it the incessant crying or the potent alcohol that caused this torment? You couldn't be certain.
“It was a stupid fight,” you mumbled, the words barely escaping your quivering lips. In your heart, you knew that you had let your pride get the best of you, allowing him to slip away without a fight.
Yet, he too had succumbed to his own pride, refusing to stay and resolve the turmoil that had driven you apart.
It was a tragic dance between two souls too stubborn to admit their mistakes.
“He was with someone else, remember?”
Of course, you remembered. The image was etched into your mind, an indelible mark that you were certain would haunt your dreams tonight.
Overwhelmed by a deluge of emotions, you felt like you were drowning in a sea of despair. Each wave crashing against your fragile spirit, threatening to consume you entirely.
Desperation surged through your veins as you pleaded with Kiernan, “Give me the bottle.” Your outstretched hand reached for the refuge that lay within its glass confines, a temporary escape from the anguish that engulfed you. But Kiernan, ever the vigilant guardian of your well-being, took a step back, denying you that solace for the time being.
“No,” she said firmly, her voice laced with determination. “If you truly want to find solace, then confront him and seek the closure you crave. But resorting to this,” she added, gesturing towards the bottle, “won't resolve your troubles.”
As Kiernan's words sank in, you swiftly reached for your purse, retrieving your phone with purpose.
“What are you doing?”
“I'm gonna call him,” you simply said, unlocking your phone and dialing Ben's number.
Kiernan's eyes widened in alarm, but she was unable to snatch the phone from your grip in time. “No! You're drunk. You'll regret this come morning.”
You hushed her and patiently waited for Ben to answer on the other end. However, instead of hearing his voice, you were directed to his voicemail.
Sadness and longing turned into anger so quickly.
Guess he was too busy with his supermodel to pick up the phone.
So, when the beep signaled that you could finally record your message, you unleashed a torrent of emotions.
“It’s me… How are you doing, darling? I’m sure you’re having the time of your life at the party, but guess what? I'm not there. I'm here, drowning in my own misery. And it’s all your fault! You left me here, all alone, to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart.”
Your voice trembled with a mix of pain, anger, and raw vulnerability as you poured your heart out. The words spilled forth like a river in spate, uncensored and uninhibited.
“Two weeks! Two fucking weeks! And you’re already parading around some bimbo! But heaven forbid you from being that public with me! I hope she's everything you ever dreamed of. I hope she's the best thing that ever happened to you because you sure as hell are the worst thing that ever happened to me!” The words rolled off your tongue, laced with venom. Kiernan stood there, stunned and taken aback by the unexpected eruption. Silence lingered for a moment, like a thick fog enveloping the room, before you found your voice again.
“You couldn't even pick up the goddamn phone. You were too busy flaunting your new conquest, leaving me here to drown in my own tears. So, congratulations, my love. You broke me. You pushed me to the edge, and now I'm teetering, unsure if I can ever find my way back. But one thing is for certain: I love you, you know? You’re an asshole, but I’m fucking in love with you! And I hate that I can't hate you. Not even now.”
The fury that consumed your being gradually transformed into anguish, as vulnerability seeped into your voice. “Why wasn't I good enough, huh? Why wasn't I enough? Why did you make me fall madly in love with you, only to walk away? What was cheap to you, to me was all I had… You’re everything I want.”
By now, tears have cascaded down your face, as if a floodgate had been opened. Kiernan approached you with a gentle caution, reaching out to retrieve the phone from your trembling hand, putting an end to the distressing call.
That was enough for tonight.
Sun rays found their way through the gaps in the blinds, piercing through the darkness and aiming directly at your face. Despite your eyes being tightly shut, the persistent light managed to infiltrate, causing a wave of annoyance to wash over you. Letting out a low groan, you buried your face even deeper into the softness of the pillow. Your head was pounding, pulsating with each heartbeat as if a thousand tiny drums were beating inside your skull. Flashes from last night hit you hard, like a haunting slideshow, further deterring any desire to abandon the safety and comfort of your bed.
“Rise and shine, sunshine.”
Interrupting your struggle, Kiernan's cheerful voice broke through the fog of your discomfort, causing you to emit yet another groan.
“I don’t wanna get up,” you mumbled, your voice muffled by the pillow.
“Well, lucky for you, I'm a thoughtful friend, and I'm not going to let you wallow in sadness, basking in your heartbreak,” she declared, pulling back the curtains to flood the room with light. “Come on, I made breakfast.” She clasped her hands together, urging you to leave the bed.
Reluctantly, you complied. You threw on your robe, realizing that you had been too intoxicated the night before to change into your pajamas. Glancing at yourself in the mirror, you noticed the smeared makeup and disheveled hair.
Truly, you were a sight to behold.
“Here,” Kiernan said, extending a glass of water and painkillers as you entered the kitchen.
“Thank you,” you mumbled, accepting the offering.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like shit,” you retorted, taking a bite of the avocado toast to soothe your queasy stomach.
“Do you remember anything from last night?” She probed gently.
“You mean, do I remember witnessing Ben proudly flaunting his new trophy? Yes, I do, Kiernan.”
“What about the phone call?” She asked cautiously, her voice tinged with trepidation.
Confusion furrowed your brow. “What phone call?”
“You don’t remember?” Kiernan's voice betrayed a mixture of surprise and worry.
Clearly, the memory eluded you.
Shaking your head, you implored, “What are you talking about?”
“When we came back from the party, you started drinking and… You were angry and sad… And I swear I tried to stop you, but… ” Kiernan's voice trailed off, her guilt evident.
“Get to the point, Kiernan!”
“You called Ben.”
Your body froze as your friend uttered those words.
Oh, no.
Oh, no…
“He didn’t pick up, though,” she quickly added.
Oh, thank goodness.
“So you left him a voicemail,” she concluded, and suddenly, your entire world collapsed.
“What exactly did I say?” You managed to ask, unsure if you truly wanted to hear the response.
“Well, you called him out for moving on so quickly; you told him that he was the worst thing that had happened to you… And you told him that you loved him.”
You buried your face in your hands, desperately wishing for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. After months of holding back those three words in your relationship, it was beyond frustrating that the first time you uttered them was in a drunken voice message, two weeks after the breakup.
“I can't believe this is happening to me...”
“Maybe he doesn't think anything of it,” Kiernan offered, trying to be helpful, but her attempt fell flat.
Despite the brevity of your relationship, you knew Ben inside and out. There was no way he would overlook that voicemail.
What a way to humiliate yourself... Thank goodness you at least didn't remember it.
It was clear that luck was clearly not on your side, and it became even more apparent when the doorbell suddenly chimed. Glancing at the kitchen clock, you realized it was half past nine in the morning. It was Sunday, and neither you nor Kiernan were expecting any visitors.
“It’s him,” you said.
Kiernan raised an eyebrow, clearly puzzled. “How can you be so sure?”
“Who else would it be?” you replied, the weariness of the situation evident in your voice.
“Do you think he cares enough to show up here at this ungodly hour on a Sunday?” Kiernan questioned skeptically.
You shrugged. “He’s full of surprises.”
Which was true. Ben never stopped surprising you, both for better and for worse.
“Do you want me to open?” Kiernan asked.
Did you want her to open the door? It was a valid question, one that left you pondering your own conflicted feelings.
The doorbell rang once more, the sound becoming increasingly irritating.
Resigned, you let out a weary sigh. “Let him in.”
Kiernan approached the door, her hand reaching for the knob. And you were right. It was him. And he kept looking as radiant as the night before, only this time the smile was missing from his face.
“Hey, Kiernan,” he greeted your friend, his voice filled with a mix of familiarity and uncertainty. “Is Y/N home?”
The protective instinct within Kiernan surged forward. “Why do you want to see her?”
“I need to talk to her.”
Reluctantly, Kiernan swung the door open wider, allowing Ben to enter. You avoided eye contact with him; your gaze focused on your friend. At that moment, a silent conversation unfolded between you, the unspoken question, “Are you okay?” hanging in the air. With a simple nod, you reassured your friend, and Kiernan understood your wordless response. She bid her farewell and departed from the apartment.
Once you were alone, silence took over the room. Neither of you uttered a word. You could sense his penetrating gaze fixated on you, yet you stubbornly avoided making eye contact, choosing instead to focus on the coffee that had long since turned cold.
Ben cleared his throat. “Are you not going to say anything?”
With a nonchalant demeanor, you retorted, “You’re the one who came here. I have nothing to say.”
“You seemed to have a lot to say last night.”
Low blow.
You shrugged. “I was drunk.”
A hint of disappointment colored Ben's voice as he replied, “That much I could tell.”
“Then why are you here?” You questioned as your gaze finally met his.
“There’s nothing between Alexia and me,” he said. “We are just friends.”
Oh, so that’s her name…
You scoffed, your eyes rolling in disbelief. “Yeah, right,” you replied sarcastically. “I don't give a damn. Do whatever the hell you want.”
“You sounded like you really cared in your message.”
“I don’t remember what I said; I was drunk… People do stupid shit when they’re drunk. Calling their exes is one of them.”
“You know, it’s not fair that you blame our breakup solely on me.”
“I'm not blaming you,” you sighed, feeling the weight of your throbbing headache and aching heart. “Nobody is.”
“Yes, you did. You said it was all my fault.”
You let out a groan, the pain in your head intensifying. This conversation was the last thing you needed right now.
“Why do you even care about what I said? You've moved on, haven't you? Go spend your day with your new girl!”
“Alexia and I are just friends,” he insisted once again.
“Well, if that’s how you act with your friends, I’m glad we are no longer together.”
His face contorted into a frown, clearly stung by your words. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“She clearly fits your type. I see you have no problem flaunting her around town,” you calmly stated, though your words dripped with underlying resentment. “I suppose your privacy isn't a priority anymore.”
“I don’t like what you are insinuating, Y/N,” he retorted, his voice heavy with displeasure.
“I am not insinuating anything; I am simply stating the facts. How many times have you gone out of your way to avoid being seen with me by the paparazzi? How many times have you refused to hold my hand in public?” Your frustration grew as you spoke the unadulterated truth, while he attempted to invalidate your feelings. “I guess you don't care about being seen with her and rumors circulating. So, it's evident that the problem lies with me. I’m sorry for not being good enough for you, for being beneath you in every aspect.”
“Is that what you think of me?” he inquired, his voice tinged with a hint of sorrow. “That’s the kind of guy you think I am?”
“It's the image you're portraying,” you responded, resolute in your stance.
“I was trying to protect you!”
“How considerate you are… Well, thank you very much for your protection… Look where we are because of it.”
“Stop blaming me!”
“It is your fault!” You finally raised your voice. “You're the one flaunting your new fling just two weeks after we called it quits… It’s wonderful to see how much our relationship meant to you.”
For a moment, a flicker of regret glinted in Ben's eyes. “I never wanted it to end this way.” His admission was soft, almost defeated.
The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of what could have been. You felt the anger still coursing through your body, but you knew that engaging in another pointless argument with him would only lead to more pain.
"It's too late now," you replied calmly.
What’s done is done. And no matter how much you wanted to go back to that dreadful night and change your mind. The urge to rush into his arms, seeking the solace that had always been exclusive to his embrace had to be dismissed.
It didn’t matter, because he didn’t want you back.
“Is it?” he asked, his voice tinged with a glimmer of hope.
What?
He approached the kitchen counter, where you remained steadfast, having not budged from that spot since he had stepped foot into the apartment.
You furrowed your brow, trying to make sense of his words. His statement didn't quite match up with the situation.
“Is it too late, Y/N?” he asked again.
“Of course, it’s too late. You’re with someone new,” you replied, your voice laced with a tinge of bitterness.
Ben let out a frustrated sigh, his eyes searching yours for understanding. “For the last time, I’m not dating Alexia.”
Your retort was on the tip of your tongue, ready to be unleashed, but before you could utter a word, he spoke again.
“We both got cast in a movie together, and they wanted us to go to that party as a pair.”
“You got the part?” You asked, momentarily forgetting about the situation at hand.
For weeks, Ben had been eagerly awaiting that phone call. Even during moments of doubt, you had been there to reassure him that he had done an amazing job during his audition, and it was only a matter of time before he received the call.
And you had been right. They called, and he got the role. However, you had not been there to celebrate with him as you had promised.
A small smile formed on his lips. Though subtle, it still made your stomach flip inside you. It held a certain charm that made it impossible to resist.
“Yeah, I did.”
“Told you, you would,” you said. “I didn't peg you for someone who would pull a PR stunt, though.”
“I didn’t have a say in it.”
Silence hung in the air. While you were unfamiliar with the inner workings of the industry, you understood that actors often had no option but to partake in such stunts to capture public and media attention. You couldn't hold him responsible for succumbing to the pressure.
“She’s really pretty.” Your focus returned to your coffee, unable to meet his gaze, not when you were feeling this vulnerable and tears were welling up in your eyes.
“Yeah, she is… But she’s not you,” he replied softly, his words infused with genuine sincerity. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Y/N, and I wish I could go back to that night; I really do.”
His confession compelled you to lift your head, locking eyes with him once more. At that moment, you realized he too was battling his own tears, his gaze reflecting nothing but honesty and vulnerability.
“I wish I could take it all back, take back the hurt I've caused you,” he continued, a hint of remorse in his voice. “And I wish I had told you I loved you.”
A lump seized your throat when you heard him pronounce those three words. Those three words that you had left in his voicemail—a message you had no memory of recording.
“Did you mean it?” he asked cautiously.
You nodded, not trusting your voice right now.
How could you not love him? It was as if a magnetic force had brought you together from the very first glance. A connection so strong, it awakened emotions you never knew existed. He had a way of making you feel special. Every second spent by his side was filled with joy, comfort, and a deep sense of belonging. It was impossible not to be drawn to his kind soul. Yes, of course you loved him, because he brought out the best in you and made you believe in love.
With a gentle touch, his hand extended to brush away a tear trickling down your cheek. The warmth of his hand against your skin sent shivers down your spine.
Oh, how badly you had missed his touch…
“I love you,” you finally whispered. “I love you so much, and I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.”
As the words escaped your lips, a wave of relief washed over you. The weight on your chest began to lift, replaced by a glimmer of hope.
Ben's eyes softened, a mixture of surprise and joy dancing within them. A tender smile tugged at the corners of his lips, as he leaned in closer, his forehead gently resting against yours.
Those three words, so delicately uttered, felt like a dream to him. They held a different meaning than the drunken voicemail he had listened to. They felt real and genuine. It was as if the alcohol had merely blurred the edges of your emotions, while now, in this vulnerable moment, they shone with clarity and truth.
The walls between you crumbled, and all that remained was the rawness of your emotions. You found solace in each other's vulnerability, knowing that you were both willing to mend what had been broken.
“I don't want to lose you. I want to make things right; give us another chance.”
There they were. The words you had longed to hear for two weeks, and which you thought you'd only hear in your dreams.
He wanted you back.
And you wanted him back.
Yet, a sense of hesitation crept over you.
“I don’t want to lose you either, but we can’t just ignore what happened.”
He gripped your hand tightly as if he feared you’d slip away again. “I understand, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I want us to grow stronger from this.”
You traced the lines on his palm, feeling the warmth and stability that had been missing for these agonizing weeks. “It still hurts. How can you guarantee it won’t happen again?”
“I can't guarantee anything, but I can promise to be more mindful of your feelings. To communicate openly and honestly, rather than burying things under layers of bitterness and silence. I never want to hurt you again.”
You looked into his eyes, sensing the honesty that radiated from within, and you realized that the love you felt for him was stronger than the hurt that had led to your breakup. His vulnerability and his willingness to confront his own mistakes and grow from them spoke volumes about the person he was and the depth of his love for you.
“Let’s give it another chance.”
Ben's eyes filled with a sense of relief, and he released a deep breath he had been holding onto for far too long. With a tender motion, he closed the tiny gap between your mouths.
Oh, how badly you have craved his soft lips… You almost forgot how good they felt against yours.
Your lips molded against each other with a perfect fit. The taste of familiarity and warmth danced on your tongue, blending with the electric pulse coursing through your veins.
As you reluctantly pulled apart, you instinctively enveloped him in your arms. Your face nestled into the crook of his neck, taking in the comforting scent that was uniquely his. In response, he reciprocated the gesture, encircling you tightly in his embrace, drawing you even closer...
“I’ve missed you,” you mumbled against his skin.
Oh, how good it felt to be back in his arms…
Ben let out a satisfied sigh, his embrace growing tighter as he murmured softly, “I’ve missed you, too.”
You held onto him tightly, savoring the moment. The past two weeks behind you, no longer relevant to the future that lies ahead of you.
#ben barnes#ben barnes x reader#ben barnes imagine#ben barnes x you#ben barnes x y/n#ben barnes oneshot#ben barnes one shot#ben barnes fanfic#ben barnes fanfiction#ben barnes fic
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an introduction to the marauders
for @gently-decaying-flowers
follow up posts will be made for the valkyries and skittles
james fleamont potter
also known as prongs
important canon information:
dead, died on october 31st 1981 defending his family from voldemort so lily could protect harry
his parents are fleamont 'monty' and euphemia 'effie' and we love both of them
his animagus is a stag
was head boy and a chaser on the gryffindor quidditch team
had a mutually antagonistic relationship with severus snape
fancast information:
original fancast was aaron taylor johnson
second fancast was reiky de valk
my personal fancast is gabriel.stewart
other fancasts include nickisnotgreen and thomas weatherall
common fanon traits:
is known as the sun and a golden retriever character, wears red converse, swiftie, quidditch obsessed, early morning riser who tries to force other people too (doesn't work), loyal, hero complex, hopeless romantic, mischievous and loves pranks, often is desi or latino, would take a bullet for anyone in his life, definitely strutted and is a therapist friend, has a hard time opening up
ships:
jily/sunflower/flowerpott: james and lily evans
jegulus/sunseeker/starchaser: james and regulus black
prongsfoot: james and sirius black
moonchaser: james and remus lupin
sirius orion black
also known as padfoot
important canon information:
godfather to harry and best friends with james
left home at 16 to live with the potters
was wrongly accused for the betrayal of lily and james
served 12 years in azkaban before using his animagus form to escape
his animagus is a black dog
was killed by his cousin bellatrix lestrange
fancast information:
original fancast was ben barnes
second fancast was undecided
my personal fancast is conan gray
other fancasts include louis seriot and eren m güvercin
common fanon traits:
drama queen, massive david bowie fan, rides a motorcycle, experiments with makeup, genderfluid, compulsive and mischievous, gay, owns and wears a leather jacket, he thinks his initials stand for son of a bitch, short king, gets jealous easily, no concept of personal space, mommy issues, daddy issues, family issues, pretty crier, french, likes to paint his nails
ships:
wolfstar: sirius and remus lupin
blackinnon: sirius and marlene mckinnon (widely unaccepted now)
prongsfoot: sirius and james potter
remus john lupin
also known as moony
important canon information:
his nickname of moony came about due to his "furry little problem" (being a werewolf)
in prisoner of azkaban he taught d efense against the dark arts at hogwarts
has a child called teddy with nymphadora tonks
was killed in the battle of hogwarts
fancast information:
original fancast was andrew garfield
second fancast was undecided
my personal fancast is p4perback
other fancasts include paul ahrens and matthew hitt
common fanon traits:
always wears grandpa sweaters, craves academic validation, best friends with lily, grumpy around full moons, loves chocolate, the mastermind behind all the marauders pranks, goes to a study group, is a massive nerd, tall but it took ages for him to grow, self worth issues, raspy voice, swears a goddamn lot, welsh and no one can understand what he says
ships:
wolfstar: remus and sirius black
moonwater: remus and regulus black
moonchaser: remus and james potter
moonrosekiller: remus and barty crouch jr and evan rosier
peter pettigrew
also known as wormtail
important canon information:
traitor to the marauders
was james and lily's secret keeper but ratted them out to voldemort hence resulting in their death
his animagus form is a rat
hid in his rat form in the wealsey family as 'scabbers' until discovered by sirius and remus in the prisoner of azkaban
fancast information:
original fancast was dane dehaan
second fancast was undecided
my personal fancast is lewis capaldi
other fancasts include maxwell acee donovan and jacob batalon
common fanon traits:
friendly and sociable, plant dad, needs validation, great cook/baker, indecisive, cheeky, amazing at chess, not the smartest academically, childhood friends with james and marlene, quick thinker, unintentionally funny, wants nothing more than to fit in, sometimes forgotten, has a really healthy dating history, sometimes has the best pranks and suprises the others
ships:
pebill: peter and sybill trelawney
unknown ship name: peter and james potter (usually a one sided crush)
unknown ship name: peter and remus lupin
partyvan: peter and barty crouch jr and evan rosier (this is mostly made as a joke)
#rwtr.txt#marauders#marauders era#char tag 🐈#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#peter pettigrew#wolfstar#the marauders#marauders headcanons
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FIC REC WEEK 18 – CREATURE FIC
Fangbait by FestiveFerret
Pairing: Steve/Tony
Rating: E
Words: 5,396
Tags: Vampire Steve, One Night Stand, Blood Play
Summary: There's only one reason Tony would go to a bar like this, dressed the way he is: fangbait.
Reasons why I love it:
The whole concept of humans specifically going out to get picked up by vampires is really great. And Tony obviously knows what he's doing, which I love, because confidence is sexy as hell. But so is Steve when he's fumbling every step of the way until he hits familiar ground and gives Tony the night of his life. I love this fic so much, and I bet you will too, so please go and check it out!
Best Time of the Month by Onetruesikorsky
Pairing: Steve/Tony
Rating: E
Words: 4,243
Tags: Capwolf, Knotting, PWP
Summary: Original prompt was: There are some really great capwolf fics out there, but can someone give me Tony getting down and dirty with Capwolf? Knotting not optional.
So, yeah. This is Tony happily getting down and dirty with Capwolf. And knotting.
Reasons why I love it:
The fact that Tony trusts Steve enough to sleep with him when he's in his wolf form speaks for itself. And Capwolf is adorable in his impatience and yet infinite care when it comes to Tony. This fic is insanely hot and surprisingly sweet, so if you love Capwolf, you're going to enjoy this one!
If the Water's Still Flowing by Sineala
Pairing: Steve/Tony
Rating: E
Words: 8,106
Tags: Merman Steve, Interspecies Sex, Fluff and Smut
Summary: When a flight test of Tony's new Iron Man suit model sends him plunging into the depths of the Atlantic, rescue comes from the most unlikely of sources. Tony had thought mermaids were fictional, but this man is very, very real. And Tony certainly never expected the merman to be handsome... and the attraction to be mutual.
Reasons why I love it:
Steve is so goddamn cute as a merman, holy shit. I love the exploration of his and Tony's cultural differences and how it translates into them having sex. It's really sweet how they keep accommodating each other until they find a way to be together. And Steve getting all hot and bothered over French kisses is so fucking cute, oh my god, I love him. Definitely go and read this one, it's so much fun!
Protecting What's Mine by ATOASTBW
Pairing: Steve/Tony
Rating: E
Words: 8,391
Tags: Vampire Tony, Werewolf Steve, Mating Cycles
Summary: Despite being a vampire and a werewolf, Tony and Steve have overcome the odds to become best friends, and for the past six hundred years, that's all they have been: friends; nothing more, nothing less.
That is, until Steve experiences a problem with one of his ruts, and being his best friend (and definitely not because he's attracted to Steve), Tony decides to help him out. However, the issues go much deeper than that of just sex, and the two are finally forced to face the true nature of their relationship.
Reasons why I love it:
Steve pining after Tony for literally half a millennium and resigning himself to suffering in silence makes so much sense for his character, but holy shit, I just want to smush their face together! I love how in control Steve is throughout his rut, and how he makes sure that Tony is okay at all times. And the fluff at the end is absolute perfection. I hope you check this one out, because it's wonderful!
Turn Around (Three Times Before Lying Down) by kellifer_fic
Pairing: Steve/Tony
Rating: M
Words: 15,573
Tags: Werewolves, Action/Adventure, Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Everyone knows that Tony Stark is a playboy, billionaire philanthropist, but what they don’t know is that he’s also a werewolf. When a government agency known as SHIELD finds out, they use this information to force Tony’s hand and bring him into a new elite lycan field team, codename The Avengers Initiative.
Suddenly Tony finds himself playing host to a bunch of lycans, a misplaced God of Thunder and an experimental supersoldier that isn’t as dead as everyone assumed. Can his week get any worse?
Reasons why I love it:
My heart just bleeds for Steve in this one. The sentiment of being in between two groups, never really belonging to either, really hit home for me. And it's so lovely to see the pack bond form between the Avengers, especially because getting there is such a journey for them. This fic is amazing, and I highly recommend you read it for yourself!
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Oh yay, our first thunder fire in the new house, wonder how long before someone dies again! Also love how you can see our old house in the background, a reminder you can run from your past but you can’t escape it.
I am of course talking about this family’s past of semi-acceptable interactions between family numbers, because from now on is where things really go off the rails in this department. Allow me to introduce you to..
..Julian and Stacy’s daughter, Sunset Tinker-Union! (Because her parents wear pink and purple, get it? Get the name origin?) So the minute Bartholomew brought Sunset from school I knew it was over for me, as we’re now far enough removed from the other branches of the family tree that not even the extended family mod can save us from all those third cousins being fair game.. and you all know full well that if there’s one thing this family knows how to do, is be attracted to their distant cousins-
-I held out to one tiny hope that maybe Barflina will continue being socially incompetent losers and Sunset will hate them, but no, the minute a distant cousin enters the building it’s clearly time to turn up the charm. So first Bartholomew goes and smustles with Sunset, which, Barth, I didn’t know you were even like, biologically capable of having fun in any way-
-and then Felina (who I keep forgetting is SHY LOL WHAT) goes over to ADMIRE HER. BRO. I have never seen Felina do anything remotely nice her entire life, KILL ME.
But don’t worry, Sunset clearly takes after auntie June! She’s into it! She follows Barth to the toilet for no clear reason! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME
So you at this point you might be like ya ok, calm your tits, there’s no guarantee anything will even happen. To which I reply go back and read, not even the whole thing, just our college runs, and then get back to me. We’ve been knocking on semi-incest’s door since generation 1 and now we don’t even have to knock, I mean the door is wide open! FML
ANYWAY, all this to say, it’s time to extremely focus on finding these two flops non-related-to-us people to date before we fuck off to college, and this is ALL I’m gonna be doing this update-
-Like haha oh man Cyn and Sandy are starting a rock band, there’s def jokes here, NO. NO TIME, DON’T CARE, HAVE TO AVERT DISASTER.
-Failina, hold your goddamn notebook closer so I can copy, it’s hard with my eyepatch!
-It’ll be even harder when I take your other eye out!
Alright you two.. uh.. awesome kids, let’s go out!
-Go out where.
-And WHY.
So you can have fun, meet people, maybe sing some karaoke or play bowling! You’ve seen how much fun your ancestors have had as teens out and about, driving drunk, being hoes, committing various crimes, you wanna miss out on that experience? It’s even how grandma Shajar met grandma Sophie and that marriage could not be stronger!
-Ugh ok, I guess I do need to get started on the spouse hunt.
-And I would like to get drunk in a different setting than our library.
Perfect! Who knows, by the end of the night, you might even be besties singing duets like Jojo and Gunther!
Oh my- WE LITERALLY JUST GOT HERE. WHAT CAN YOU TWO POSSIBLY BE FIGHTING ABOUT
-SCREW YOU, DAVID OTTOMAS IS MINE
-NO, HE’S MINE, HE’S THE ONLY TEEN SIM IN THE LOT AND I HAVE SENIORITY
-THE HELL YOU DO
OK LET’S GO HOME
-SCREW YOU, I WANNA OPEN THE GARAGE DOOR
-THE DOOR IS MINE, YOU CAN’T EVEN DRIVE YET
OMG LITERALLY STOP. I LEARNED MY LESSON, I’M NEVER MAKING YOU INTERACT AGAIN
Once again, I’m crawling back to Lakshmi! Finally she has returned to us! As you might recall I had to deal with her understudy, Margaret, and frankly she was better than Lak at her job but it just wasn’t the same. Lakshmi and I have HISTORY. We have a deep, dark, beautiful relationship-
-I’m not giving you a discount.
UGH FINE. Take 5k of our last money (I forgot to mention the new house somehow cost 500K, we legit have like 20k left)-
-and hit us with your best shot!
-Oh, I will!
Ok but you’ve said that before and I’m still not over the time I paid you 5k for June and you gave us iVan.
-No, this time I mean it! The path is clear!
The ‘path is clear’?? The path for FELINA’S love life is clearer than it was for June the literal model-hot genius???
-Indeed!
I gotta say, Lakshmi, your mouth better not be writing checks your crystal ball can’t cash.
-It is not, I promise!
Alright, I’m waiting, do it to us-
OH
MY
GOD
IT’S MEADOW
THEY HAVE 3 BOLTS THIS IS ALREADY HILARIOUS. LAKSHMI YOU ARE FORGIVEN FOR ALL THE SHIT YOU’VE EVER PULLED ON ME
Bro this pairing is KILLING ME. Like I get it on paper since they’re both family sims and I guess their chemistry panels and zodiacs must insanely match too, but I thought Felina would get with someone like idk. Gvaudoin? Alegra Gorey? Klara Vonderstein? Maybe the Diva or a vamp NPC? Like you know what I mean, someone that makes sense with the whole dark queen powerful dynasty blabla she has going on. But no, she’s gonna start this house Lannister bs her LTW is about with.. MEADOW THAYER. I love it so much, Felina please don’t ruin this for us!
FELINA WTF DID I JUST SAY
-Sorry, but I don’t know you well enough to accept you touching my shoulder, huhu!🌞
-But if you want to tickle me again, that’s somehow more acceptable to me despite it involving way more touching!🌞
Alright, as I suspected, not a lot going on upstairs with dear Meadow, but it’s ok, I’m just glad to have a huhuing sim around again, Cyn is like 80yo :(
Ah, the tickling of love! Good job, Fel, now we can work our way up to flirting-
-Or I can just not be a turbocuck AND GO FOR IT
Man, the Sophie genes kicked in! Good for you, Fel!
Backyard karaoke time! Seriously what song could these two possibly BOTH like, please comment or msg me your guesses.
So at this point I’m already 100% sold on Meadow as a spouse as I don’t think it’s humanly possible to come up with a funnier pairing than what fate dropped in my lap, but I’d also like to point out that Felina is so into Meadow that she’s already rolling fears of falling out of love with her, despite not even BEING IN LOVE WITH HER YET. Family sims are a fucking trip.
CUTE. Alright Felina, you’re set, we got it in one, semi-incest avoided, yay us. Now I’m gonna leave you to your dream date and focus on Barth-
-who is gambling by himself. Guess I don’t need to ask who’s drunk again!
-That’s one safe bet, haha!
Good Lord. Alright, get up, let’s find you someone while Lakshmi is still here, I’m sure our amazing luck will continue-
-OH FUCK IT’S TIAVE TEENS, HE HAS THE DON BROKEN FACE THING. ABORT ABORT
Oh good there’s nothing to abort, because it turns out Bartholomew is a COMPLETE FAILURE OF A ROMANCE SIM. Observe and keep in mind THEY HAVE 3 BOLTS:
-LALALA LALALA NOT LISTENING TO YOU INSULT MY SPATULA, FUCK OFF
LOL NO @ THE NOOGIES RETURN. FUCK. So clearly Felina has grandma Sophie’s chadly genes and Bartholomew has grandma Shajar’s noogiesexuality, except he’s a romance sim with a 20 woohoo LTW. College with this guy is gonna be UNBEARABLE.
Alright, Barth, let’s try this again, don’t be discouraged! Ignore our lack of cash!
Ignore that Felina got it right on the first try and is still on her endless dream date!
PATRICK TEENS?! LMAO. Bartholomew is so committed to going through family trees, like if it’s not gonna be his own it’s gonna be SOMEONE’S, he doesn’t care! Unlike Don-clone Tiave, Patrick is cute tho, let’s give it a try-
-Ya, let me stop you right there, buddy, not into it but best of luck in your future endeavors!
Bruh. Let’s extremely call it a night, Barth.
-Oh hi, huhu!🌸
-Hi hi, huhu!🌞
-I feel like I know you?💗
Ya Cyn, if I didn’t have photographic proof that it’s not true I’d legit think she’s your long lost daughter. Man ACTUALLY how much sense does it make that like people tend to seek out partners that remind them of their parents and Cyn was always such a maternal influence on Felina??? Holy hell this game has so many layers.
Clearly inspired by seeing her younger self in Meadow, Cyn finally finds it in her to woohoo again after Don’s passing! It’s legitimately crazy to me how loyal she was to him in death, like I can’t get over it, she never extended that courtesy to him while he was alive!
-𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙼𝚈 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝙴.𝙴𝚇𝙴
It’s ok, Barth, you sleep off the romantic flopping and that tray of whiskeys and we’ll try again tomorrow.
-Ya, make sure to call us over when he ‘tries again tomorrow’ cause we don’t wanna miss it HAHA
-HAHAHA boy did I screw him over by passing down my personality points!
-You sure did, my little turbocuck! Let’s sleep in the same bed tonight, I can’t get into this one anyway with this flop sleeping there!
-That’s what everyone is gonna be saying to him in college HAHAHA
-HAHAHAHA oh Shaj, I love you, let’s work on our marriage!
-I love you too, we’ll overcome our issues!
Awww, see Barth? Love wins❤️
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inspired by @archivus' statements, i decided to give it a try myself
tw for depersonalisation, body image issues, body horror, slight gore
Out of Body Experience
Statement of Rebekah Fitch, regarding something that wasn’t her body. Original statement given 5th March 2018. Recording by [REDACTED], Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, Manchester. Committed to tape 26th March 2024.
Statement begins.
I never thought I would end up like this. I just-
I guess I should start from the start.
Throughout my life, I’ve had a complicated relationship with my body. Not to get too, um, personal or anything, but let’s just say it's tough being the child of an immigrant mother, especially, well, my mother. She would make comments about my body, small ones, I’ll admit, but ones that certainly built up to…recent events. On top of all that, I spent a lot of my teen years dissociating. Tricking my brain into believing that I wasn’t real. That nothing was. It’s a bit difficult to solidify an image of your body when half of you is ashamed of it and the other half doesn’t even consider your ownership of one. Ownership. I guess that’s sort of where it all began.
It was sometime in January when it all started to go wrong. I don’t exactly have a habit of staring at myself in the mirror, in fact, the only mirror I own in my cramped little flat is the bathroom one. It’s somehow always stained, a fact which I hesitate to admit helped me live with my…issues. The point is, the majority of the time, I didn’t know how I looked.
And then one day, I watched myself wake up.
I remember exactly how it felt. You know how people sometimes slice oranges in half and then take the peel, dig their fingers into the sides and push, letting each segment split from the other, hungrily leaning up towards you? That’s how I felt. Inverted. Wrong. I saw myself in a way that I had never, ever seen before. Each and every part of me that bulged where it shouldn’t have, thinned and yellowed at the edges like a fruit in its off-season. Whatever was happening to my eyes didn’t hurt, exactly, but I could feel every single part of my body as if it had suddenly awoken from a deep unconsciousness. It disgusted me. The life of it all. I panicked, of course, I thought I was having a really, really bad dream and that all I needed to do was wake up. But, no matter how many times I attempted to shield myself from the view, no matter how many times I willed every single synapse in my brain to connect and let my goddamn eyes close, nothing happened.
That nothing was the most excruciating nothing that I had ever experienced in my life. I was forced open, boneless and writhing. The me on the bed that I was watching slept soundly.
I don’t remember when I snapped out of it. I don’t remember how long it had been. I sat up, drenched in sweat, determined to be rid of the one mirror I had left. Putting it in the bin didn’t feel as triumphant as I believed it would. I guess part of me knew that this was no one-off.
Ok, I know what you’re thinking. It could just be a hallucination. I could be traumatised or mentally ill or on drugs. Well, I’m actually all of those things, which means that I have the unique ability to prove you wrong. I know what a hallucination feels like, I know what drug side effects feel like, and I know what my episodes feel like. And this? This was entirely separate. I don’t have to tell you that it happened again. I don’t have to tell you that I went from GP to GP, therapist to therapist to find out what was happening to me. But I will end this with proof.
Statement Ends.
Post-statement records include a medical report of one Rebekah Fitch. It outlines a series of scars of unidentified means on the underside of her eyelids, spelling out the phrase “I know that I exist.” Any attempts to follow up have led to dead ends. However, I’m afraid that I may be able to guess how this one ends.
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I'm officially a hater. Every Halo game since the very first one is full of bullshit.
My many problems with Halo 4, as I experience them:
FOUR VIDEO GAMES IN A SERIES! FOUR DIFFERENT CONTROLLER MAPPINGS!!! MICROSOFT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???
What is the compass needle even pointing to on 117's assault rifle? we're adrift in open space...
WHY ARE THERE MOTHERFUCKING QUICK TIME EVENTS IN THIS GAME? FUCK YOU!
"these Covenant seem more fanatical than the ones we've fought before" - how the fuck can you tell??
Why did they give Cortana baby-face and big tits?? Pick a direction, Microsoft!! She can be prepubescent or postpubescent but not both of them simultaneously!
Why am I supposed to feel any sort of emotional attachment to Cortana anyway? She's just a Microsoft Clippy with blue boobs stuck on 🙄
"I'm the only AI generated from a clone" I'm vibrating with rage at how goddamn stupid that is.
I THINK YOU LITERALLY HAVE MORE PRESSING PROBLEMS THAN RETURNING TO HALSEY TO FACTORY-RESET YOUR AI WAIFU, MASTER CHIEF! YOU ARE EVADING HOSTILE ALIEN FORCES ON A RANDOM PLANET GOD KNOWS WHERE! JUST GET A NEW AI WAIFU WHEN YOU GET HOME! FUCK
"[Unknown alien transmission]'s behaviour is odd!" - how the fuck do you know that Cortana??? This is your first time encountering this transmission, how do you know it's not supposed to be like that?
Maybe the reason all these aliens are so hostile to you, Master Chief, is because the very first guy you saw you punched in the jaw and threw down an elevator shaft! Would it kill you to just try saying "hello" first?
Lmfao @ Cortana calling out the Chief for the exact same thing literally seconds later
"Requiem! At least we know where we are now!" - my guy you have no fucking idea where you are
WHY THE FUCK DOES HALO HAVE CINEMATIC 3RD-PERSON MELEE ATTACKS NOW?! JUST CLOBBER THE FUCKING GUY AND MOVE ON!
This is something I really disliked in Halo 3 too, but those invisible barriers that hard block you from taking vehicles indoors, even if you do manage to scrape them past the non-invisible barriers. Let me drive a Ghost indoors!
Why can't they maintain my weapon loadout on either side of a cutscene? Halo 3 handled this really well.
But here in Halo 4 I take my lovely SAW and my lovely Fuel-Rod Cannon into a cutscene and come back out of it with an assault rifle and pistol. 😒😒😒
• Seriously, why does Cortana have the face of a nine year old child and the body of a twenty-nine year old woman?! Am I taking fucking crazy pills here??
I can forgive video game developers being horny, but not when it's this gratuitously bullshit
(and the voice of a 59 year old woman, going by the game's opening cutscene of Dr Eugenics' interrogation lmao)
The new forerunner enemies are cool enough, but it really feels like they copied Borderlands' homework with their design.
Why is Cortana so blithely confident with all her info-dumping about these random alien creatures she's never seen before in her damn life? And why is master chief taking anything she says seriously when he knows she's going through AI-Alzheimer's???
The Didact is bullshit. Who the fuck is this guy? why does he call himself a "Forerunner" when that's 'our' word for them? and how does he indentify us as "human"? Also why's he so mad at us for freeing him? This is all so very stupid.
Wow. ANOTHER escape sequence involving driving fast through some exploding superstructure? Come on, Microsoft, it's all very well and good to rest on your laurels but this is just masturbating with them... I swear to you on my mother's life that having an original idea isn't nearly as painful as you seem to think it might be...
Even more being stripped of my good weapons and reset back to basic bitch assault rifle + handgun
"the greatest enemy ever faced by the forerunners: you" - bitch you've been extinct for like 100,000 years what the fuck are you even talking about???
"the Prometheans, they're human" what the fuck are you even talking about?? Who the fuck are the Prometheans??
Genesong, evolutionary acceleration, thousands of lifetimes' worth of planning? What in the flying fuck is all this nonsense? When and why did Halo become "What If Star Trek Was About Using The Power Of Friendship To Kill God"?!
Look, Microsoft, this shit isn't fucking rocket science. I shouldn't have to take an undergraduate degree in Halology to understand the fucking story of a video game. I shouldn't have to go read god knows how fucking many spin-off novels there are just to know basic facts about your game like who in the flying fuck are all these goddamn Elder God alien species you're name-dropping. I should just play the game and have knowledge of the game from playing the fucking game. Jesus fucking christ pull your head out of your arse and stop jerking yourself off and start making some goddamn sense!!
Why can this Space Orc Big Bad use The Force like Darth Vader anyhow??
Why is defeating Space Orc Big Bad a fucking quicktime event???
Lol get vaporised, idiot
Why was nuking his spaceship another quicktime event? Just make the whole thing a cutscene, christ 🙄
Master Chief finally makes it to The Waifu Dimension (via nuclear bomb?????) and his first thought is "how do I escape from here?" instead of "oh cool I can finally kiss my holographic waifu"
And now he's just, like, chilling out in orbit around earth, perfectly fine and unharmed?? after setting off a nuclear bomb in his lap with his own two hands?????
Hey, so why was I fighting digi-struct robots for the entire back-half of this game anyway? Isn't Halo supposed to be about fighting The Covenant and The Flood?? 😒
Also, didn't the Covenant have an internal schism/civil war last game?? Like, that was the whole plot of the whole game. Why are the Elites back in the Covenant again; are we just not going to bother with explaining that?
Holy fuck I hate this fucking game. Really glad I only paid seven bucks for it.
Things I liked about Halo 4:
It looks pretty
No more dual-wielding. Fun concept, sure, but it made the games' control scheme fucked to shit. Really felt like Bungie made all of the enemies into utterly gratuitous damage-sponges to compensate for MC's higher DPS too, and that sucked.
The weapon rebalancing, in general. The new Needler kicks ass.
No more dragging around a giant posse of allies with me everywhere. I feel like that was another big contributor to the enemies needing to be so heavily-buffed with sponginess.
Really glad the Brutes aren't in this game. Those guys were the fucking worst.
The items from Halo 3 were mostly useless and just served to clutter up the game. Forgot they were there most of the time, and kept activating them by accident when trying to reload. Glad to see they've been fucked off/heavily retooled. The new active-camo gadget is useful and fun without being overpowered; I really like how well they've balanced it. All of the other gadgets are fairly middling though.
The new machine gun is great! (SURE WOULD BE NICE IF I WAS ABLE TO KEEP IT FOR MORE THAN HALF OF ONE LEVEL THOUGH)
I laughed when I saw a grunt sprinting at my Ghost with a lit grenade in each hand. Some real Serious-Sam-type nonsense right there 😂
Stomping around in the Mantis mech was extremely fun
The sticky-bomb handgun was pretty fun.
Final verdict: Microwaved Slop.
I'll eat it if I'm hungry enough, but I won't enjoy it.
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A Safe Place (part 4/4) [day 24]
Cliff’s past experiences in hospitals have all been bad. For @monthofsick day 24: Panic and @badthingshappenbingo Paralyzed by Fear. 3,698 words, original work, TWs emeto (mild x1), hospital/surgical content, child abuse/trauma. If you'd like to skip the first half which is a childhood flashback, control-find the word “eighteen”.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 - This is the final part! Thanks for sticking with me guys.
Cliff’s fear of hospitals first began when he was three years old. He’d been inside the hospital several times because his dad worked there, but he hadn’t really processed it as anything significant until one day when he went there with his mother, who’d been tasked with watching him because the nanny was off. Cliff had been doing everything “wrong” that day, and Hana Barrows had reached her limit after a spilled glass of orange juice. She dragged him by the wrist to the car and drove to the hospital, swearing loudly all the way there. Cliff was silent because even back then he knew that saying anything would just make things worse.
Hana brought Cliff up to Dr. Claude Barrows’ office without warning, ignoring the secretary shouting after her as she passed without signing in. She yanked Claude’s door open without knocking and found him hunched over a pile of paperwork.
“What in the - Hana! What on earth are you doing here?! Why is Cliff here?”
“I’m not a babysitter!” She shouted as she shoved Cliff towards his father, who would have fallen on his face had Claude not caught him. “You promised me I’d never have to babysit!”
“Keep your voice down,” Claude hissed. He sat Cliff on the chair he’d been sitting on and turned to his irate wife. “It’s one day in his entire life Hana, one goddamn day.”
Hana let out an angry groan of frustration and slapped her hands on Claude’s chest, grabbing the lapels of his lab coat and pulling him forward. “I never wanted this! I’m not doing it!”
They squabbled for another few minutes, young Cliff staring at his velcro-up shoes and distracting himself trying to remember how the last nanny had taught him how to tie laces. He’d forgotten how after his mom fired her, because Cliff had been too attached to her.
“You can’t leave him here Hana, I’m working,” Claude said finally, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.
“Well figure it out, because I’m not taking him home with me,” Hana snapped back. With that she stalked out of the office, not stopping despite Claude shouting after her. He followed her out, and Cliff was left alone in his dad’s office, on his big spinny office chair, with no idea what he was supposed to do now. He was old enough to know that his parents didn’t like him, although he didn’t understand why. He didn’t talk much but they still said he was too noisy. His big sister Moira was nice to him, but that was when she was around. Usually she was too busy with her high school friends and sports to be home much.
Cliff tried to climb down from the chair, but it was really tall and he was afraid of falling. Still, he eased his lower half down, stretching his short legs to try and feel for the floor. He felt it all at once when he fell, smacking his forehead on the hard floor. He bit his lip, trying not to cry. His parents hated when he cried. Still, he couldn’t help it as a few little tears rolled down his chubby cheeks.
“Did you fall, honey?”
Cliff looked up to find a young woman kneeling in front of him. He nodded, wiping his face with tiny fists. “Aw, poor thing,” she said.
“He’s my son. Do you like kids?” Dr. Barrows was back, standing in the doorway - without Cliff’s mom.
“Yeah, totally,” the girl said. “Sorry Dr. Barrows, it’s just I heard a kid crying and the door was open so-”
“It’s fine,” Cliff’s father responded. “Actually, I need you to watch him for the rest of the day.”
“M-me? But, um, I’m a medical student, I don’t think...”
“Part of being a doctor is doing what your attending orders, and I’m telling you to babysit my kid until my shift ends at seven,” Dr. Barrows said sharply. “Is that a problem?”
“No - I mean, sort of, my clinical ends at four, and-”
“Great. I don’t care what you do with him, just keep him out of the way. I’ll pay you for your time.” Dr. Barrows ignored any further protest from the student and shoved two hundred-dollar bills in her hand before leaving.
The student shook her head in disbelief. “Alright, Cliff is it?” She asked. Cliff nodded, clutching the hem of his shirt nervously. “Right. Well, Cliff, I guess it’s you and me until seven...”
The student was nice, all things considered, but she clearly had no interest in babysitting. She had long legs and walked so quickly that Cliff had to run to keep up. A lot of times she’d turn a corner before he did and he thought he’d lost her, but she always found him again. They ate lunch in the cafeteria and she let him draw with a pen and a piece of printer paper while she did work. Cliff honestly didn’t understand what was going on, but he went with it because he was taught not to complain and didn't want to be left behind.
It was around 5pm when the student said, “You’d rather be with your dad, right? He has a pretty cool facial reconstruction starting now. Let’s go watch.” She led Cliff to the gallery, a large room with chairs above the surgical theater with a glass window for an audience. Cliff’s dad was scrubbed in, hyper focused and didn’t notice the spectators. “The surgery will last a few hours,” the student told Cliff. “I’m going home, so just stay here and don’t move until your dad comes and gets you.”
Cliff looked at her, confused. She was going to leave him here by himself? “It’s fine,” she said. “Your dad’s right down there. Just stay where you are and whatever you do, don’t move from this room, got it?” Cliff had no other choice but to nod obediently. Then he was alone.
At first, Cliff was excited to see what his dad did for work. A large woman was lying on the table - sleeping, Cliff thought - and everybody was dressed in funny clothes. His dad was wearing a long mint gown, goggles and a puffy scrub cap, which made him laugh. That laughter died in his throat when he saw his father take a long, silver knife and cut into the sleeping woman’s face.
Cliff screamed, but nobody was there to hear him. He started to panic and it felt like there was no air in the room. There was blood and the sound of a drill. Cliff began to cry, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the horrible scene. His father seemed to be tearing this lady’s face apart, and he did so for two hours before pulling the skin back up and sewing it all back together.
“Wonderful,” his father said in a confident tone. “Good work gentlemen.” Someone was helping him take off his bloody robes. At this moment, he finally looked up at what should have been an empty gallery, but instead he saw his traumatized three year old son. “What the hell? Is that my son?” Cliff heard him say loudly. Cliff was terrified. What if his father got mad and did the same thing to him? He hid under a chair in the corner of the gallery until his father flew into the room and dragged him out.
“I’m sorry, I stayed like she told me to, I’m sorry,” Cliff sobbed. He was so scared, pushing his father’s face away. He kept thinking of how bloody his dad’s hands had been. “Don’t hit me!”
“Cliff, shut up, you’re embarrassing me,” Claude said angrily. “It’s not your fault though, that stupid medical student - her career is over,” he growled. “Come on. Let’s go home.” He picked Cliff up and carried his crying child out of the hospital, and together they went home. They never talked about what Cliff had seen, but for years he had nightmares about it. He was scared of what his father was capable of, and every time Claude yelled at him or hit him, Cliff wondered if it would go further - if he’d end up on that table being cut up next if he didn’t behave.
By the time Cliff reached middle school, he understood that his father’s job was to be a surgeon and that he actually helped people, even if it was scary - and horrible - to see in person. But when he had his stomach ulcer and had to be hospitalized for a few days, his fear of hospitals was renewed and solidified. His parents were furious at him. Even with a fever and in so much pain, his father yelled at him every step of the way. Every time Cliff cried, or threw up, or panicked because he was afraid of needles, it was made ten times worse by his parents’ obsession with Cliff not spoiling their image of what a perfect son should be like. The pressure they put on him while he was in the hospital just made him sicker. It was a terrible experience, and Cliff vowed never to let himself get sick enough to end up in a hospital again.
Unfortunately, these sorts of decisions are not truly one’s own. Now Cliff was in the hospital with pneumonia, and although he was eighteen and told himself he was an adult who knew better, he was still scared. It was a different hospital, but everything smelled the same. The nurses acted the same - nice, but brisk. He felt the same helpless feeling of being surrounded by people who didn’t understand him, and most of all he was terrified of his father finding out he was here. He was sure he’d be furious if he discovered Cliff had ended up here after disrespecting his mother by leaving home. He thought about ripping the IV tubing out of his arm and making a run for it, but he didn’t think his legs would hold him.
When Elliot was next to him, Cliff felt like he could keep it together. After all, he’d never had someone like Elliot to hold on to during these scary moments before. But now Elliot had gone home for the night and Cliff was alone in a tiny room without windows in the hospital, and he was losing it.
Cliff didn’t realize he was having a panic attack until the nurse came in because his heart monitor was going off. She tried to settle him down, speaking to him in hushed tones and reassuring him that he was safe, but he didn’t believe her. All he could think about was his prior bad experiences in hospitals. His entire chest felt tight and he was crying, which made it difficult to breathe in conjunction with his already junky lungs.
“Cliff, you need to slow down your breathing for me,” the nurse said, but Cliff couldn’t. He couldn’t control it. He was just as scared as the day he’d hid under the chair above the operating room from his father, abandoned and afraid to trust anybody.
The thing that did stop him panicking was the uncontrollable coughing fit that came on. All the tears and snot that came with crying choked him, and then he couldn’t stop. He coughed until he vomited onto his lap, tears and mucus mixing into a horrible puddle that he could feel seeping through the sheets onto his legs. He was so disgusting, he couldn’t stand himself. Elliot was right to leave him here alone.
The nurse called the other nurse for backup, and soon they were changing Cliff’s sheets together, changing his nasal cannula to a simple face mask while he was so snotty from crying, and one of them administered something through his IV that made him feel sleepy. Cliff’s nurse asked him if it would make him feel better to call his boyfriend.
“What time is it?” Cliff asked, his voice hoarse from crying and throwing up.
“Eleven,” she told him.
Cliff shook his head no. He had already woken Elliot up enough times this week. “It’s okay. He’s probably asleep.” They hadn't agreed on a time that Elliot was going to come back, Cliff realized. Elliot had said he’d be back in the morning. The morning could be eight, or it could be as late as noon. That was, if Elliot came back at all. No, he'd come back. Elliot kept his word - usually. Then again, Cliff had never expected Elliot to trick him into coming to the hospital. He understood he was really sick and needed help, he did, but the betrayal still stung.
After his nurse did another albuterol treatment through the mask, she changed Cliff back to a new (not snot-clogged) nasal cannula and left him to get some sleep. Cliff couldn’t rest though. Even with the lights off, all the machines cast a glow that kept the room too bright. The faint beeping of his heart monitor and the drip of his IV fluids reminded him too much of the last time he was in the hospital, and he felt vaguely nauseous despite being sure there was nothing left in his stomach. He curled in a tight ball and held his knees to his chest, trembling. He missed Elliot and wished he was here to make him feel safer right now. Instead, all he had was himself and a very long night ahead of him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Cliff woke up drenched in sweat. He didn’t know where he was and immediately began to panic, but then he felt someone pushing him back down and shushing him.
“Elliot?” Cliff blinked in confusion. He’d finally cried himself to sleep in the wee hours of the morning but he hadn’t expected to sleep long enough that it was already within business hours. “What time is it?” His voice crackled, laden with wetness, and he let out a congested, barking cough. It made his sides ache and he gripped them automatically.
Elliot smiled at him and ran a delicate hand through Cliff’s damp hair. “Hi baby,” he said fondly. “It’s about nine AM.”
“Really?” Cliff glanced around, slowly remembering the details of yesterday. “I’m so hot,” he muttered.
“I think your fever broke,” Elliot said gently. “How do you feel?”
Cliff considered things. He felt significantly less achy than last night and it was easier to breathe. He didn’t feel like his brain was entirely full of sand - maybe just halfway. “Better,” he said. “Can I go home?”
“That’s up to the doctor,” Elliot said. “I ordered you some breakfast though. Do you feel up to eating? I got you oatmeal and toast.”
Cliff grimaced, remembering all the vomiting he’d done yesterday. “I’m not sure.”
“You can see how you feel when it gets here,” Elliot said. “The nurse said your breathing got a lot better after your second steroid injection.”
Only now did Cliff notice the lack of oxygen tubing on his face. He’d fallen asleep with it on and Cliff was shocked he’d really been so passed out that the nurse had been able to give him IV meds, do vitals, and remove his oxygen without waking him up. He must have been truly exhausted.
“Thanks for coming back,” Cliff said suddenly, looking at his hands instead of Elliot’s face.
“Of course I came back,” Elliot responded. “I promised you, didn’t I?”
Promises didn’t always work out, Cliff thought to himself, but he just nodded yes. “Well, I missed you,” was all he responded. “So thanks.”
He was surprised by the quick kiss that Elliot stole from him, even though he hadn’t brushed his teeth since yesterday morning. “E-Elliot,” he stuttered, red faced as he sat back and covered his mouth with his hands in embarrassment.
“I missed you too,” Elliot said. His smile was so kind and genuine. It made Cliff feel so much better. “You did incredible staying here overnight by yourself.”
Cliff understood that Elliot was babying him a little, but he also realized that he was unable to stop himself from smiling into his hands. Something inside him felt so content when Elliot was proud of him. He wanted to feel like that over and over.
Breakfast arrived and Cliff picked at the food, trying to get down a few bites mostly because Elliot was staring at him so hopefully. He really wasn’t hungry, but he managed half of a piece of toast and two bites of oatmeal before he couldn’t manage any more. It was difficult to eat when his cough was still so harsh, overtaking him at random moments and leaving him doubled over in bed, his arms clutching his sides in pain. At least he managed to keep the food down, though.
The doctor came by shortly after Cliff finished eating and examined him. He listened to Cliff’s lungs and cough, nodding along with his own conclusions. “I believe it’s safe to send you home, but you have to promise to rest and do nothing else for several more days,” he said finally. “How does that sound to you?”
Cliff nodded in agreement. He’d gladly stay in Elliot’s bed for another week if it meant getting rid of this awful cough - preferably, far away from any hospitals. Elliot awkwardly raised his hand a little before speaking. “Excuse me Doctor, but we start classes back at school in the city on Monday. Will he be okay by then?”
“Hmm. You’ll have to play that by ear, but as long as he gets proper rest and takes his meds, no fevers, then probably. Do you have to walk far to get to class?”
Cliff shrugged. Sometimes, not always. Elliot answered for him though. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t walk too much,” his boyfriend said confidently.
“In that case, I’m not concerned about discharging him,” the doctor said. “I’ll put in the orders and we’ll have you out of here in a few hours. I do recommend you keep using a nebulizer at home for a few days and as needed, do you have one?”
Cliff shook his head no at the same time Elliot said, “We’ll get one for him, we just need the medicine.”
“You’ve got someone taking good care of you, I see,” the doctor chuckled. “I’ll write scripts for that too then. Make sure you follow up with an asthma doctor as soon as you can.”
Elliot thanked the doctor several times, Cliff echoing the sentiment with a simple thank you, and then all they had to do was wait for paperwork. In the meantime the nurse helped Cliff get back into normal clothes, took out his IV and detached him from all the equipment. He had sticky residue on his finger and chest from the oxygen and heart monitoring leeds that didn’t seem to want to come off, but it didn’t matter. He’d have plenty of time to scrub it off later. Cliff was just relieved to be escaping this place without a longer stay or his father finding out and showing up.
At discharge, Elliot bundled Cliff up in a warm jacket and hat even though it was late August. He pushed Cliff in a wheelchair down to the lobby, then ran to get the car. Cliff insisted he could walk, but he wasn’t entirely convinced of his own strength right now so didn’t push the matter much. He waited patiently for Elliot and waited to feel relieved for when they had officially left the premises of the hospital. It had only been one night, but it felt like a long time. The fresh air felt good on his skin and he took a deep breath, appreciating it even as it made him cough.
Elliot pulled up at patient pickup and helped Cliff into the car, settling him in the passenger’s seat. “My mom’s gonna pick up all your meds and find a nebulizer for you at home,” he explained as he drove. “We’re going to follow all the directions to a tee, get you straightened up before we head back to school this weekend.” He sounded confident about this plan, as if it were foolproof. “Do you want to shower when we get home, or go straight to bed?”
“Shower,” Cliff said. He didn’t want to smell like a hospital anymore. “Sorry about all this.”
Elliot shook his head. “It’s okay. I mean... I was really scared. But you’re going to be fine, so...”
“That’s what I mean,” Cliff said, looking at Elliot seriously. “I’m sorry for scaring you. And being a burden and crying and... I guess what I’m really trying to say is thank you for being there.”
Suddenly there were tears running down Elliot’s cheeks and Cliff panicked. “Wait, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry!”
Elliot pulled over on the curb and wiped his eyes. He sniffled and gave a tiny laugh at the same time, which sounded funny to Cliff. “I’m just really glad you’re okay,” Elliot said, taking Cliff’s hand in his own and squeezing it. “And you’re welcome. But you’re not a burden and it’s okay. I love all of you, Cliff. When you’re sick or scared and lonely... I want to be there for you. Do you understand that?”
Cliff didn’t answer right away, not trusting his own voice not to waver right now. But finally he said, “I’m trying to.” It was more honest than the automatic ‘Yes’ he had very nearly said.
Elliot smiled a little sadly and leaned over to give Cliff a kiss on the cheek. “Okay, as long as you’re trying to,” he said. He looked both fond and sad. “Now let’s get you home and in bed. We’ve got a big school year waiting for us next week and you’re not getting out of that bed until Friday.”
“The nurse said a little exercise is good,” Cliff pointed out.
“Some very light exercise,” Elliot said. “Bed to couch and back is plenty. Got it?”
Cliff smiled. He found it amusing when Elliot got bossy. “Sure,” he said. “You’re in charge, El.”
Elliot grinned and started driving again. “You’re damn right I am.”
Fin.
#shionwrites#sickfic#oc: cliff#oc: elliot#hospital setting#illness whump#pneumonia fic#sicknario#fever whump#sick whump#angst#tw: minor whump#male whump#oc sickfic#whump#bad things happen bingo#paralyzed by fear#novemetober rescheduled#novemetober 2023#day 24#panic#emeto#tw: emeto
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This whole goddamn taekook vs jikook 💿🐎 is so exhausting. Honestly.
Was I a bit saddened when Jeongguk didn't mention Jimin? Yeah. But for the wrong reasons because my brain was hard wired into thinking "taekookers are gonna run a mile with it".
It's fucked up. But more importantly, it's not Jeongguk's fault - it's purely a me/army problem.
The fact that everyone in army has some kind of version of the members that's mostly fabricated, isn't something they can control.
They are most likely aware of all the hate they get online, especially if it gets really bad. That it gets really bad for Jimin a whole lot, from within army even, can't be unknown to them. But it's not on Jeongguk to change himself on the off-chance it's gonna reduce hate. Most likely that wouldn't work either. Tkkers, akgaes and Solos will hate on BTS every chance they get.
BTS are whole people, individuals that think differently and experience things differently. To reduce them down to their interactions with others is insanely harmful, but it has been normalised. From what I've seen, a lot of shippers (both taekookers and jikookers) reduce the maknae line to what they do and with whom. I did it too, when I immediately thought sadly about the letter when it's the first proper sign of life we've gotten from our golden maknae in ages.
So, as much as I'm f.e. looking forward to the travel show, I'd also advise shippers in particular to watch actual uncut ot7 content. ITS, BV, concerts and behind the scenes - there's a decade worth of videos. Yes, everyone believes in hybe having a narrative to push, so I don't expect people to actually do this honestly, but it might decode some of the army-internal brainwashing.
Hi lovely,
First of allllll
I’m here for what you are throwing down!
It’s not a THEM (the members) problem it’s an US problem.
How does it make sense that ‘fans’ be it solos, shippers, whatever, get mad when people we’ve never met talk about a member who they’ve ate, slept, breathed, played and worked with for 10+ years? How does it make sense to be angry over them interacting, touching, mentioning each other because of what the shippers will say? You damn right it’s exhausting😪.
⬆️An example 😓 They literally had phones in their faces from all sides and so many think pieces about their interactions VS ⬇️
I can’t point the finger without three pointing back at me, cos like you said I too have had moments when I’m like ‘those mf’s are gonna have a field day with this…’ as my first thought?! What’s wrong with me??? I get it when real OT7 say shippers & solos (when talking about those that actually are and not the ones they like to label to dismiss valid thoughts) ruin everything, cos as soon as content and good news drops there’s always gotta be some bullshit alongside it, from any subsection 😪
They HAVE to be aware but kudos to them, they keep it moving, they’re so strong to have millions of strangers on multiple platforms speaking on them like they know them, but still have so much love in their hearts to continue engaging because they know the some isn’t the all.
With every drama and battle online it actually deepens my love and awe of these regular guys, with talent hard worked for, still trying hard to show their goodness to their supporters, not throwing in the towel for their peace. They’re everything 😍
I’m glad people like you are making it your mission to not reduce them to their duos, ships and solo fandoms, but still supporting them as TALENTED INDIVIDUALS. I’m trying too💪. I want to be conscious in appreciating them for them, their talents, their individuality AND their bonds, ALL OF THEIR BONDS.
Obviously I bias some bonds more than others, it’s human nature🙈
We definitely need to keep pushing about original content, we need to keep pushing about original sources not just clips and cuts and edits, we definitely need to keep pushing about doing our googles!
We need to not close our eyes to the other interactions, it’s not scary! It helps us appreciate Jikook’s bond more and appreciate them as members, friends & brothers of the others.
Because no matter what people believe those 7 MEN love each other down.
It helps us be able to filter the bullshit when we do come across misinformation and defamation of character. It helps our confidence in knowing we’re stanning and supporting the right ones.
I’m super geeked for the show coming from Jikook too…whenever it comes 😩 Heck we’re starved, so I’ll start small, I’m desperate for a ‘keep warm, don’t catch a cold’ message from Jiminie even though he’s doing his best in keeping in contact, why are we so thirsty 😅
Thank you for writing in and speaking my heart! 😉
💜
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The time has come for that goddamn stochastic terrorism post and how radqueer beliefs remind me of it.
Background that is important to understanding me and why these two things are similar to me:
I was groomed into the alt-right pipeline at eleven years old up until I was 18. Someone in my life to this day took advantage of my trauma and groomed me into political views as a child to weaponize me against my liberal rapist. I'm still having to unpack the trauma of that experience and how that harmed me, as well as often facing abuse now for being a leftist. I knew all the big names at the time and looked up to them as heroes, and was encouraged. Hell, I've been on 4chan and luckily got out of that after realizing I was queer/my complete split from the original and deconverting from fundamentalist christianity.
What is "stochastic terrorism"?
Here's a video on PewDiePie and the pipeline his content creates to the alt-right and fascism, that has a section on it:
youtube
If you aren't going to watch it:
Stochastic terrorism is a form of terrorism that does not have a singular figurehead but instead relies on peer radicalization to move a person through the pipeline by making ideas gradually more acceptable due to a lack of direct calls to violence. It's pretty much the "long game" type of terrorism- radicalization over a longer period of time through communities that often believe themselves to be "just trolling." There are no direct orders for calls to action, which allows plausible deniability for stochastic terrorists not one person to be personally at fault and unable to be blamed for encouraging someone to go farther in the pipeline.
The pipeline itself is one that furthers someone up the levels of the pyramid of violence. (The video has more of a person-focused pyramid diagram, while the one below mentions systemic discrimination.)
[Image ID: An image of the ADL's Pyramid of Hate diagram on a white background. The blue text above a blue horizontal divider read:
"ADL Pyramid of Hate"
The text beneath the divider reads:
"The Pyramid of Hate illustrates the prevalence of bias, hate and oppression in our society. It is organized in escalating levels of attitudes and behavior that grow in complexity from bottom to top. Like a pyramid, the upper levels are supported by the lower levels; unlike a pyramid, the levels are not built consecutively or to demonstrate a ranking of each level. Bias at each level reflects a system of oppression that negatively impacts individuals, institutions and society. Unchecked bias can become “normalized” and contribute to a pattern of accepting discrimination, violence and injustice in society. While every biased attitude or act does not lead to genocide, genocide takes place within a system of oppression in which the attitudes and actions described at the lower levels of the pyramid are accepted. When we challenge those biased attitudes and behaviors in ourselves, others and institutions, we can interrupt the escalation of bias and make it more difficult for discrimination and hate to flourish."
Below that text is a diagram of a pyramid with five ascending sections. The base level of the pyramid is purple, and reads:
"Biased Attitudes"
To the right of the pyramid is text that explains that level, which reads:
"Stereotyping, Fear of differences, Justifying biases by seeking out like-minded people, Seeking out information to confirm one’s existing beliefs and/or biases, Lack of self-reflection or awareness of privilege"
The next level up is blue and reads:
"Acts of Bias"
The text to the right for this level reads:
"Non-inclusive language, Insensitive remarks, Microaggressions, Biased and belittling jokes, Cultural appropriation, Social avoidance and/or exclusion, Name-calling, Ridicule, Bullying, Slurs and epithets, Dehumanization"
The next level up is green and reads:
"Systemic Discrimination"
The text to the right reads:
"Criminal justice disparities, Inequitable school resource distribution, Housing segregation, Inequitable employment opportunities, Wage disparities, Voter restrictions and suppression, Unequal media representation"
The next level up is orange, and reads:
"Bias-Motivated Violence"
The text to the right reads:
"Threats, Desecration, Vandalism, Arson, Assault, Rape, Murder, Terrorism"
The last level at the top is red, and reads:
"Genocide"
The text to the right reads:
"The act or intent to deliberately and systematically annihilate an entire people"
End ID.]
The ADL (Anti-Defamation League, for those who may not know) has a lesson on this pyramid at the link below.
The whole point of stochastic terrorism is to gradually get people from one level to the next up, and unless stopped, it can end in genocide and people who support it without any verbal calls to action.
Right now, some very important radqueer traits heavily remind me of my alt-right days, and specifically make me think of how dangerous this can be for anyone, not just minors.
From what I see, radqueers are on the second level of the pyramid, and do contribute to the third level with their treatment of minorities that try to intercept them and pull them out of the pipeline by telling them that their behavior is harmful to minorities.
Part the first- Term hijacking and theft:
Want to know what?
"Trans-Nazi" is not a radqueer term. It's been used in 2012- over an entire decade ago. Neither is "transnazi" as a term either. That comes from 4chan.
I found it here while looking for a tumblr coining post, thinking it was a new term:
This post? Written by a transwoman and the "Trans-Nazis" are described as not respecting transgender people who do not pass or have not had surgery at an event in 2004 for trans people. It's not updated terminology, since the people described would be considered transmeds today. I emailed the writer for more information, and was told that she did not coin the term, but it used to be used in the 2010s to describe anyone who was not transgender in a way the "trans-nazi" did not approve of.
Here's the 2016 use:
Just as a warning, it's 2016 4chan. Transphobia, queerphobia, using otherkin people to discredit queer identities, attack helicopter-type unfunny jokes, slurs, dick photos, and antisemitism await you behind that link. The absence of straight up porn and sexualized minor character artwork is an anomaly.
Here's the important comment on that page to save you the scrolling and triggering (Except antisemitism, unfortunately since I cannot spoiler things in the middle of this post):
"I sexually identify as a transnazi and this thread needs to be put in a gas chamber."
This is a use of the term before radqueers got a chance to "coin" it- and it is directly used to be antisemitic and queerphobic. I actually remember seeing this thread and laughing because at the time I was an alt-right fuckwad bigot. I didn't write that, but I remember that thread.
The current use of "transnazi" by radqueers is in line with that of transphobes, queerphobes, racists, sexists, and antisemites that will not hesitate to kill them if they do not fully commit to being a nazi in one exact way. There is no way to separate where this term came from with that of a radqueer's use of it. Both are in support of nazis, and no list of reasons will ever be good enough to make identifying as a fascist valid. (Yes, I am aware of this bullshit. I technically fit a few of those in my life with the fact that I was groomed to be right-wing and in the pipeline. I have met systems with fucking Hitler fictives who are staunchly antifascist. One of my own system members has his source use a bunch of nazi imagery- and he will not turn up the chance to beat up a nazi and make fun of them. These are excuses for bigotry that fucking 4chan teens use to try to seem like they are a nazi, but only "ironically.")
We all know that transabled, transrace, and transspecies are stolen from other communities. But this example helps illustrate that many of their terms and things they support are hijacked from other spaces, for better or for worse.
How this ties into stochastic terrorism- The normalization of nazis, neo-nazis, and antisemitism that puts jewish people at risk.
"Nazi" has been a dirty word for a while. People don't like having their beliefs linked to people near-universally known to be "Those idiots that killed millions of people in a genocide targeting minorities and had generally bad ideas."
This is where language shifts are useful to bigots.
Instead of "white supremacist," you have people saying they are a "race realist" based on eugenics and racist findings rooted in bad science.
Instead of "nazi" and "fascist," you have the alt-right trying to claim that fascism is a left-leaning belief and that the nazis were so smart. (They weren't. Imagine trying to use dogs as spies without microphones or cameras and then falling for looney tunes-like tactics from the allies. They took things from other cultures to try to legitimize themselves- look at volkish shit. Former Norse pagan here, and the Norse gods would fucking hate nazis and the theft of their culture.)
The nature of shifting the language, even ironically, is to blur the definition until it becomes unrecognizable to the public and can safely radicalize someone without others being aware. People who pick it up might think it's a joke- until it isn't. Like the incels that think jokes about killing women are fine and then get suddenly greeted with members of their community acting on those jokes. It never was a joke from the start- it was a way to make the choice to act on those more desireable.
Nazis rely on this type of radicalization and terrorism because it allows them to not be personally responsible for hate crimes. So, "transnazi" is just another way for them to attempt to hide their true intentions. Anyone who uses "transnazi" is a nazi and should be treated like one.
Right now, in the US, there is an attempt to legislate transgender people out of existence. One of my friends lives in Florida, and has seen people wave nazi flags. I fear for his safety, as well as that of his partner. The nazis are very real, and are often right under our noses, trying to hide themselves. Jewish people have to live in fear of seeing apologists lick the boots of fascists.
If you're "transnazi," you will be killed the second you are no longer useful to nazis.
Edit: 12/8/23 - Replaced "thousands" with "millions" for the victims of the nazis. It's not that I wasn't aware of the correct number. I just have a very hard time conceptualizing giant numbers.
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