#ben barnes imagine

[myhairpintrigger]

hellooo i would like to request something <33

basically hanahaki disease w/ Aleksander? when alina arrived at the little palace, reader had been coughing and Aleksander noticed then reader found out that she was coughing petals and eventually got to know it was a disease with the help of some of the plant expert grishas i guess perhaps the healers? then reader starts to distance herself from Aleksander so he wouldn't know but he eventually found out because one of the grisha witnessed one of reader's coughing session and maybe an angst to fluff fic 👉👈

first of all, i am so sorry.. she's a long one... this has been tentatively proofread so i apologise for any grammar or spelling errors. this is my first time writing this trope so i hope it will do alright. thank u for ur beautiful req, my lovely anon, i love u!

warnings: hanahaki disease, blood, vomiting, aleksander is an idiot here lowkey.

word count: 11.9k

To Love Another & Be Loved (aleksander morozova x fem!reader)

-

The Sun Summoner had to be one of the nicest people you’d met in your entire life. 

You wanted to dislike her, after all, she was the center of Aleksander’s attention almost all of the time. Not even the scraps of his time had been reserved for you as of late. 

But you simply couldn’t hate her. She was nothing but kind to you. You spent much of your time with her, anyway. You were the only other Tailor besides Genya and often helped her ready herself for important things when Genya was tending to the Queen. At first, your service to her was only out of obligation to Aleksander. After all, he was your best friend and he fought the King constantly to keep you away from the Grand Palace. The least you could do was help a bit. Surely it would be temporary. 

You sat in Alina’s room with her and you focused hard on twisting her hair up and braiding little bits of it to create an elaborate updo. She was to have dinner with the King and Queen and the Prince that night along with Aleksander. You wordlessly pinned up a thin, tiny braid and Alina sighed. 

“At what point does this all just… stop?” She asked warily and you eyed her through the mirror she sat in front of. 

You raised an eyebrow and shook your head, “What do you mean?” You questioned and flickered your eyes back on her hair. 

“Just… the showiness of it all. When do I become a person with capabilities rather than a spectacle?” 

“Likely never.” You replied with a frown and you met her eyes in the mirror, “But that shouldn’t discourage you. Be the best damn spectacle this country has seen.”

Her shoulders squared a bit and she seemed to at least somewhat like what you had to say. You smiled and went back to her hair, your fingers deftly weaving braids and little twists together for a while longer. You sat back after some time and then placed a few decorative pins in her hair, giving her an approving smile. 

“Lovely. I’m sure the royal family will just eat you up.” You teased and rose from the stool you sat on.  

“I’m sure Aleksander won’t like that.” She countered playfully and the smile slowly faded from your face. 

You blinked in surprise a few times and then let out an uneasy chuckle, “So he’s told you his name?” 

You didn’t know why it bothered you. But it did. 

Alina nodded and she slid on her kefta and buttoned it up while she hummed. You eyed her and bit down on the inside of your cheek. It was black, of course. You glanced down at your own kefta and smoothed it down almost self-consciously. You wore a red kefta that was intricately embroidered with blue threads, and you’d never been disappointed in it until now. 

Why not dress her in gold? You asked silently as you stared at her and you felt that same bitter twinge of jealousy you’d felt ever since she came to the Little Palace. Furthermore, the little sparkle in her eyes when she said his name didn't go unnoticed by you. 

“Yes, is it not very common knowledge?” She asked once she finished buttoning up her clothes and you shook your head. 

You opened your mouth to speak but a knock on the door cut you off. You took this as an opportunity to end this conversation before it made you more upset and you hurried to the door. You opened it up and you were instantly met by a familiar pair of dark eyes. A little weight was lifted from your chest and you smiled up at Aleksander who gave you a smile right back. 

“I figured you’d still be here.” He remarked and leaned down to press a chaste and polite kiss on your cheek. Your skin felt warm and tingly where his lips had made contact and as he pulled away, you prayed he didn’t see the way your face was flushing. 

“It probably wouldn’t have taken so long if Alina didn’t have so much hair.” You noted and then tucked a piece of your own back behind your ear, “I haven’t seen much of you recently.” You remarked, trying your best to keep your tone casual. 

Aleksander clasped his hands behind his back and he gave you a wide smile, “Well, as you know, I’ve been very busy. Join me for tea tomorrow afternoon, I would love to catch up with you.” He said earnestly and you felt a tug in your chest. 

“Of course. Tea sounds wonderful.” You replied, and watched as his eyes shifted over your shoulder. 

The look on his face made your own smile falter. His eyes were fixed on Alina who stood behind you and his smile had turned into an awestruck expression, his eyes softening in ways they didn’t even soften for you. 

“Miss Starkov, you look dazzling.” He commented and you suddenly felt very small, standing in the middle of them. 

Her shy giggle sent a gravelly itch up your throat and you blinked a few times, trying to fight back a cough. 

She thanked him and said something else, but you didn’t hear it because a dry, gritty cough came tearing up through your throat. You held your hands over your mouth frantically and doubled over. You felt a hand on your back and slowly you straightened yourself back up and gasped for air, the coughs ceasing. 

“Are you alright? Would you like a bit of water?” You heard Alina ask and you shook your head, shifting your eyes downwards. 

“What was that? Did you choke on a fly?” Aleksander asked with an amused little chuckle. You gave him a terse laugh in response and felt your throat burn again. Another much smaller and shorter cough reverberated through your chest and you held your hands tightly over your mouth. A warm, wet feeling coated your palms and your face paled. 

Once you recovered you frantically balled your hands up in fists and lowered them to your sides, clearing your throat, “I’m not sure where that came from. I think I’ll go make some tea. Have a lovely dinner.” You murmured hoarsely and scurried past Aleksander, not bothering to look back at them. You made it halfway down the hallway before you slowly unfurled your hands and held them up so that you could see your palms. 

They were sporadically coated in blood.

-

“You don’t have a cold, y/n. Perhaps it’s just the dry air. Winter is upon us.” Genya stated as she stirred a sugar cube into her tea. 

You looked over your shoulder and expected to see Aleksander any time now and then you turned back to Genya with a shrug. 

“I don’t know what else it could be. I can’t stop coughing.” You replied, leaving out the part where most of your coughs dragged blood up from your throat. 

She hummed and took a sip of her tea before shaking her head, “No. Grisha don’t get sick, lovely. You can’t have a cold. Perhaps you’re allergic to something you’ve been smelling or using or eating. Anything new in your diet? Perfumes? Lotions?” She pressed and you shook your head, “Well, then I’m not sure what to tell you. See a Healer if you’re concerned about it but I’m telling you it’s likely the dry air.” She urged. 

You looked down at your own tea and watched tendrils of steam climb the air above it. You let out a sigh and reached out to grab a sugar cube, when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You jumped and spun around, feeling instant relief when you saw that it was only Aleksander who had his hand on you. You sighed contently and leaned your cheek down against the back of his hand. 

“Please, forgive me. I know I’m a bit late to tea. I just had a rather disappointing conversation with a few trackers.” He hummed and then pulled his hand away from your shoulder, leaving you with a certain kind of emptiness. 

He slid into the chair next to you and grabbed your hand tightly, and you felt your heart beat a little bit faster. Genya must have heard it, because she smirked and quickly raised her teacup to her lips to hide it. 

“You weren’t at breakfast this morning.” He commented and tapped your knuckles with the side of his thumb. 

“I wasn’t feeling the best.” You drawled and looked up at his face. He didn’t seem overly concerned when you mentioned that you didn’t feel well, but he didn’t brush it off, either. 

“Odd. Perhaps you should see my Healer.” He pressed and then he reached out and poured himself a cup of tea with his free hand before he released your hand. 

You didn’t respond. Instead, you turned back to your own tea and took a sip of it, looking up at Genya who cleared her throat and stood up.

“Well. I’ll leave you two to it then. I’ve got to get back to the Queen.” She stated and gave you a small wave before scurrying off. 

“Y/n. My Healer?” Aleksander pressed and you glanced up at him. 

You gave him a polite shake of your head and you smiled, “No, it’s all okay. I feel much better now.” You insisted. And it was partially true. You did feel a bit better now that you had some tea. 

You felt his onyx eyes on you as you turned back to your tea and before you could turn towards him, he reached up and brushed a bit of your hair back behind your ear. 

“You look very tired.” He commented and frowned, letting his fingers linger against the side of your face for only a second before dropping them. 

“I am tired. But I have a lot to do today. Besides, I’m getting fitted for my dress today. For the Fete.” You commented, trying to change the subject. 

He hummed and then picked up his teacup, “What are you going to wear?” He asked curiously and he shifted his entire body towards you. 

You looked over at him and slowly turned yourself to face him as well and you gave him a little smile, “Well, not red. That’s for sure. I picked something soft. Pink. A pretty pink dress.”

“Pink is a form of red.” Aleksander pointed out, an amused little smile forming on his perfect lips. 

You giggled and then shook your head, reaching out to give his arm a very gentle smack, “Pink is a very nice color and even if it is red at the very core of it all, I will be wearing it.”

He rolled his eyes playfully and then he chuckled, “Determined little thing, aren’t you?” He asked and then set his teacup down, “I’m glad you’re coming. I was worried you would skip this Fete like you did last year.” 

“Well, last year Vasily was all over me. And I hated it. Of course I didn’t go.” You remarked with a little snort. Aleksander laughed softly and shook his head, turning back to his tea. 

You looked at him, your face softening. Everything about him seemed so… inviting in that moment. The way his hair was immaculately brushed back and curled around the back of his neck, the little curve of his lips as they stayed in their smile from your antics. His dark eyes shone with a rare light of humor and the light of the afternoon sun illuminated them perfectly as you stared at him from the side. He was so heartbreakingly beautiful. 

And you wanted him so badly. You wanted to kiss him, you wanted him to hold you, you wanted him to look at you the way he’d looked at Alina the night before. You wanted to wear black with him and you wanted to be at his side during the Fete. 

You were desperately in love with your best friend, and the worst part was that you could never tell him. 

Your silence must have concerned him in some way, because he slowly turned to face you, the smile slowly vanishing from his face. 

“Y/n, you look like you are about to cry, darling. What’s going on?” He asked softly and you shook your head a few times. 

“N..nothing is wrong.” You lied and felt your throat begin to tingle with the familiar preceding another coughing fit, “I think I just need to go lie down. I feel… unwell.” You added, your voice getting weaker as you tried to keep a cough at bay. 

“Please,” Aleksander began and slowly rose from his chair, “let me walk you to your room, my dear. You are starting to worry me a little bit, if I’m being perfectly honest with you.” He stated and held his arm out for you to take. 

You reached up to grab his arm but instantly yanked your hands back and brought them to your face as you began to cough violently into your palms. The sharp, metallic taste of blood filled your mouth and you heaved forward on your chair, nearly falling off as you coughed. Aleksander’s strong hands caught your shoulders, and before you could protest, he was lifting you up into his arms. 

“Alright. I’m going to take you to your room and then I’m going to send for a Healer. This isn’t natural. You shouldn’t be coughing like that.” He stated. 

You held your hands over your mouth for a while longer as your coughs subsided and you blinked a few times. Once you were sure no more coughs were to come, you pulled your hands up into the sleeves of your kefta and you cleared your throat, wincing as it burned, “No, you don’t need to. I swear to the Saints it’s just allergies, Aleksander.” You said wheezily. 

He looked down at your face and his brows furrowed together and he shook his head, “You have blood on your chin.” He commented and you gaped up at him. 

You reached up and wiped your chin with the sleeve of your kefta and he simply shook his head. You closed your eyes exhaustedly and let him carry you the rest of the way to your room. Once he’d gotten you to your bedroom, he laid you out on your bed and frowned down at you. 

“I’m sending a Healer up here. Don’t be stubborn, please let them help. I’d stay but I’m taking Alina riding. Promise me you will accept the help I send for you.” He said sternly and you opened your eyes. 

You stared up at him, something snapping in your chest. He couldn’t even stay to make sure you were okay? 

“That’s fine. I promise.” You said bitterly and then shook your head, “Have fun riding with Alina.” 

You were sure he caught the bitterness in your tone, because he scowled slightly and then shook his head. He looked as if he might argue with you but instead he wordlessly turned on his heel and left your room, slamming your door behind him. 

A brutal cough tore itself free from your chest and it sent you shooting up into a sitting position. You held your hands over your mouth to catch the droplets of blood that loosed themselves from your throat. Your throat burned as if you were swallowing acid and you miserably pulled your hands away from your mouth between coughs. You stared down at the blood in your hands and suddenly your stomach twisted. You launched yourself off of the bed and grabbed the waste bin that sat near your bed and you coughed violently into it until something sharp tore its way up through your throat and out of your mouth. You had to blink a few times before it registered what exactly sat in the once-empty waste bin; what exactly came out of your mouth. A small cluster of thorns lay in a thick puddle of your blood, and a cluster of bloody rose petals laid around it.

Your mouth hung agape as you stared down into the wastebasket and you pushed it away from you with a frightened yelp. 

Something soft slid against your tongue and you reached up and shakily pulled a blood wetted rose petal off of your tongue, and it was the last thing you saw before your vision went black. 

-

Something wet and cold mopped across your feverish forehead and you slowly opened your eyes. Someone’s hand moved back and forth in your line of sight and you heard a loud gasp before your hands were being clutched tightly. You cleared the fuzziness from your vision by blinking a handful of times and you slowly sat up a bit to see Genya standing over you with her hands clasping yours. A Healer stood at your bedside with a cloth in her hand and you looked back and forth between the two of them before you let out a raspy sigh. 

“Y/n! Sweetheart! What is going on? Emilia found you this way. She said The Darkling sent her up here to you and that when she came in you were out cold on the floor.” 

Emilia must have been the name of the Healer girl at your side and you looked over at her with a terse smile before you looked back at Genya. Her wide eyes were even wider with fear and you frowned, not wanting to have frightened her. 

“I’m fine, I promise. It just must be aller-“

“It is not allergies!” Genya cut you off viciously and dropped your hand to point at the waste bin, “What kind of allergy has you throwing up… plants?” She demanded and you simply shrugged. 

She exasperatedly squeezed the hand of yours that she still held and she frowned, “Emilia tried to heal you but couldn’t find anything wrong with you. Your lungs sound terrible but other than that, you’re healthy.” She said with worry lacing every word she spoke, “When The Darkling gets back from riding-“

You shook your head and held your hand up, “No. No we are not going to tell him a single thing, do you two understand me? You will tell him I am suffering allergies and will be fine in a week or two. I don’t want him around.” You said in a clipped tone.

Genya looked surprised when you said this but she didn’t protest. Instead, she comfortingly brushed her thumb across the back of your hand and let out a defeated little sigh, “Oh, honey. Are things that bad?” 

You slowly looked up at Emilia and Genya did as well. Emilia looked between the two of you and she let out a little sigh. 

“I’ll go get you some tea for your throat.” She said, excusing herself from the conversation that you so desperately wanted to keep private. 

The moment the Healer left the room, you burst into tears. Your ragged breaths seemed to tear trenches into your throat as you cried and little coughs escaped your lips between sobs. You buried your face in your hands and barely noticed when Genya sat right next to you and wrapped her arm around your shoulder, pulling you against her side. 

“Sweetheart, what happened? This afternoon you were all smiles for him.” She breathed and gently rubbed your arm, soothing your cries just slightly. 

“Oh, Genya. I love him. I’m so very in love with him and he hardly gives me the time of day anymore. He speaks of Alina like she’s hung his entire sky. He looks at her like she’s more precious than jewels. He noticed I wasn’t feeling well, and he couldn’t even stay with me. He just tossed a healer at me and left to go with her. It hurts, Genya.” You cried, hiding your face against her shoulder. 

The red haired girl stroked your hair and your back and your arm as you cried against her and at some point, reached out to grab the cool cloth Emilia had left behind. She gently dabbed it against your cheeks and the side of your neck and she frowned, letting you cry. 

Your chest ached terribly at the idea that you loved your best friend who would never love you back, but it seemed to hurt more that you were all in all losing said best friend. Genya coaxed you down until your cheek was against her upper thigh and she ran her fingers through your hair, dabbing the cold cloth against your burning skin still. 

“Things will work out the way they’re supposed to, honey.” Genya said softly, still trying to soothe you. 

Tears rolled down your cheeks still, but your cries subsided for the most part. You exhaustedly closed your eyes and relaxed underneath the Tailor’s touch. You took painful, deep breaths and attempted to calm yourself. You laid in silence against Genya’s thigh for a long time, the only sounds being your sniffles and coughs and little whines. You desperately tried to clear your head of Aleksander, and nearly had, before your door swung open. You heard the handle smack against the wall, and heavy footsteps made their way across your floors. Aleksander. You laid still against Genya and prayed that he thought you were asleep. 

“Emilia says it’s only allergies.” Genya said quietly and you felt her hand slow in your hair until it rested protectively against the crown of your head. 

You heard him shuffle for a moment before he hummed, “She looks miserable.” He remarked. 

He lifted his hand to touch your arm, but Genya shooed his hand away and shook her head. 

“Let her sleep.” She murmured and you heard Aleksander snort. 

“Well, according to my Healer, she’s been unconscious for three hours up until now. How is she sleeping again?” He asked and you could tell he didn’t believe you were asleep. 

That didn’t stop you from pretending, still. 

“Because she is feeling unwell. Why don’t you come and see her tomorrow morning?” Genya suggested and slowly began to drag her fingers through your hair again. 

“I don’t want to see her tomorrow morning. I want to see her now.”

“I don’t think she wants to see you, moi soverenyi.” The Tailor countered. 

The room was silent for a moment and then you heard the rustle of his kefta as he shifted in place. You bit the inside of your cheek, fighting back every desire inside of you that screamed for you to launch yourself into his arms. Maybe if you did, he would carry you like he had earlier. You wanted to scream how you loved him in his face and cry on his chest about how he was hurting you. But you stayed rooted in the bed. 

“Mm, alright then. Let her know that she needn’t seek me out then. If she truly does not want to see me. I won’t bother her.” He said coldly and you felt your face screw up in despair. 

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m only saying she likely doesn’t want to be bothered and roused from an already uncomfortable sleep just so you can ask her what I’ve already asked a hundred times. It’s just allergies. It happens with the turn of the seasons.” Genya explained calmly, her voice steady. 

“I’ve known her for years now and she’s never had allergies at the turn of the seasons.” He stated. 

“Well, that’s the only thing that it can be. The Healer said it herself. She’s perfectly healthy otherwise.” Genya insisted. 

There was another long silence in the room and you could feel his near-black eyes boring into you, traveling your crumpled form. But he said nothing more. After a while, you heard his footsteps as he left the room and the door closed, much more carefully this time. 

You didn’t dare open your eyes until Genya sighed and gently tapped the back of your head, “He’s not here, it’s okay.” She murmured and you slowly opened your eyes. 

Another cry escaped your lips. 

-

The next few days were absolutely miserable. You’d spent the first day and half in your room, and when Genya wasn’t waiting on you, you were alone. Aleksander didn’t come to see you once, and you came to accept that it was just going to be your new normal. 

The first time you emerged from your bedroom in days was for dinner, and Genya held you tight to her side as she walked with you down to the dining hall. Normally, she didn’t eat with the other Grisha, but she had neglected many of her duties to the Queen to take care of you for the past two days. 

Now, three days had passed since you had last seen- or heard, rather- Aleksander, and you sat out in the courtyard on the grass with Genya. The red haired girl had insisted that you needed sunlight and she sat and read under a tree with you while you laid your head in her lap. You could hardly speak, and when you did, your voice was raspy and quiet. Every now and then, the girl would look over her book to check on you, and each time she did, she’d give you a kind smile. 

“Are you hungry?” She asked after a while and brought her hand up to your forehead to feel for your temperature. 

You shook your head weakly and rubbed your cheek with the back of your hand, “I don’t have an appetite, admittedly.” You murmured and she clicked her tongue, but didn’t press the subject. 

You tried your best to enjoy the cool breeze on your feverish cheeks, but you couldn’t seem to distract yourself from the pounding in your head and the raw burn in your throat.

“What are you reading?” You asked Genya absentmindedly and she hummed. 

“Reading up on rare diseases. I found a few books that have information about sicknesses and accounts of Grisha becoming ill with certain ones. I thought maybe it would help us figure out what’s going on with you.” She stated and turned a page as if on cue. 

A warm feeling tickled your nose and you felt it travel downwards until your skin was wet and you gasped and let out a curse. You sat up quickly and held your hand over your nose as it bled and you glanced down at the little bloody spot on Genya’s kefta. 

“Saints. I’m so sorry. I’m such a mess.” You breathed and cupped your hands underneath your nose to catch the rapidly flowing blood. 

The girl simply shook her head and pulled handkerchief out of her pocket and passed it to you, “Don’t be sorry. We can get the stain out easily.” She insisted, and you gratefully took the handkerchief from her and held it against your nose.

“Perhaps we should get you inside?” She suggested and you nodded once. You grabbed onto the tree with your free hand and balanced yourself as you rose to your feet. You felt winded as you stood and your throat began to prickle and you let out a groan that was cut short when you leaned forward and coughed viciously into the sleeve of your kefta. Little petals spewed out of your mouth as you coughed and got stuck with your blood onto the fabric of your sleeve, but you weren’t surprised anymore. Thorns and petals came along with the coughs now. At least now your nose had ceased its bleeding. You wiped your mouth with your sleeve and groaned in pain as you felt Genya touch your back. 

“Oh, Saints. Hurry. Let’s go inside. The Darkling is out here.” She said in a hushed tone, and though you two tried to hurry into the palace, it seemed you weren’t fast enough, because Aleksander called your name.

You looked up at Genya worriedly and she took a glance at your face. Blood was smeared under your nose and on your chin and she let out a huff before she snatched the handkerchief from your hand and quickly cleaned up your face. She stuffed the soiled fabric into her pocket once more and you turned around just in time to see Aleksander approach you with Alina not far behind.

His kefta billowed like smoke behind him in the breeze and when he reached you, his face was nothing short of irritated and accusatory. His beautiful face was set in an angry grimace and his eyes were hard. You shied back slightly and felt Genya’s hand press encouragingly into your back. 

“It must be rather fun ignoring me, since you’ve done it flawlessly for three days now.” He snapped and you looked down at your feet, biting down on the inside of your cheek. 

“I haven’t felt well, I’m sorry.” You mumbled. 

He snorted and reached out to grab your jaw, tilting your face up so that he could look down upon you, “That’s not an excuse. I don’t expect you to be prancing and frolicking around, but as someone who cares about you, I would at least like to be updated about your state.” 

His words sent a shockwave of sadness through your chest and you frowned, your eyes watering. You blinked away your tears rapidly, refusing to cry in front of him and Alina. He let go of your face slowly and he shook his head. 

“My dear, I worry about you, that’s all. I’m not truly angry, oh please don’t cry.” He said softly, his expression ridding itself of all anger as he watched your eyes gloss over with unshed tears. 

You shifted your gaze over his shoulder and watched as Alina gently grabbed his arm and he subtly pulled her into his side. The action had you biting down on your cheek hard, a terrible cough fighting its way up your throat. You felt something sharp rise to the back of your throat and you shoved past all three of them to get inside of the palace, holding your hands over your mouth as you raced to your bedroom. 

You were unsure of how you held it in for so long, but as soon as you got to your room, a violent retching sound ripped it’s way up through your chest and your throat and you fell to your knees and a slew of blood and petals came spewing out of your mouth. The heavy, sharp presence was still in the back of your throat and you coughed, and coughed, and coughed until you felt something shred the back of your throat and come loose. A rosebud tumbled from behind your lips, followed by a thick mixture of blood and saliva. You stared down at the sticky, bloody mess you had made all over your pale blue rug and you brought your shaky hands up to your clammy face, covering your mouth as you sobbed. 

Your chest ached and burned as if you’d swallowed blades and you let out a shrill scream of frustration. You sunk down onto the floor even further and curled up into a ball, your cheek resting a bit too close to the sticky puddle of blood and floral matter. You were too exhausted to care. Everything hurt, nothing made sense. Every breath you took sent shards of glass sliding down your throat and you coughed again, bits of petals getting stuck to your bloodied lips. You slowly closed your eyes and shivered once, reaching down and holding your knees to your chest. 

No one had followed you. Not even Aleksander. Even just thinking his name sent a pang of raw emotion through your chest and a few little tears rolled down your cheeks as you laid against the ruined carpets. Too busy with Alina. Too busy with everything. When did the busy excuses end? At what point did you need to accept that he didn’t love you as much as you loved him, and certainly not in the same way. You cursed yourself for thinking of him. Why were you thinking of him? He surely wasn’t thinking of you. You should have been thinking about why the hell you were sick. 

But all you could think about was Aleksander. 

-

You weren’t sure how or when, but at some point, you’d been moved up onto your bed and your blood-ruined dress had been switched out for a light, breathable nightgown. A hand dragged itself through your hair slowly and you almost thought you were imagining in your half-asleep state, until you heard voices. 

“I don’t really care. I will remove someone from the frontlines if we must. I need a very, very good Healer and I need them promptly.” 

You recognized Aleksander’s voice anywhere, and now that you were a bit more aware, you could tell that it was not Genya’s delicate little hand running through your hair.  

It was his. 

You kept your eyes closed and tried to enjoy the very minimally important action of his hand stroking your hair so gently. 

“Then find someone. But I don’t think this is anything to worry about.” 

That voice belonged to Genya, and you felt a sense of relief that she was still covering for you. 

“Genya, do not give me excuses any longer. I know she is ill. To the extent and with what, I am unsure. But she is my dearest friend, and I will not be so easily deterred from finding a solution to her health.” He spoke quietly, as if he didn’t want to wake you and you felt your lip nearly wobble. 

You didn’t know if you were joyful or devastated to hear him call you his friend. You longed for ignorance. You longed to think that he was here to confess his love for you, you wanted him to play with your hair like this for hours and hold you in his arms while you slept. 

You wouldn’t get your wish, though. 

“Sir, I think it would just be best to give her space.” Genya suggested quietly. 

Aleksander’s hand stilled against your head and went rigid, “And why do you say that?” He asked coldly. 

“Well, you just hardly… see her anymore. I think perhaps she’s a bit bothered by your neglect.”

“Has she told you this?”

“Yes.”

The room was silent and you wanted to sob as you felt his hand slowly leave your hair. You wanted to catch his wrist and bring it back, beg him to never let you go. 

“Well, she always has been a bit of a jealous little thing. She’ll get over it. I’ll be back to check on her tomorrow sometime.” He said dismissively and you felt the bed move and assumed he had climbed off of it. 

You waited until you heard him leave to open your eyes and you let out a long, ragged sigh. You felt the bed dip beside you and Genya was placing her hand against your forehead. She let out a little hum and then shook her head.

“You’re very lucky I managed to clean everything up before he came barging in here.” She said softly and reached down to grab your hand. 

Tears welled up in your eyes and you blinked them away, shrugging. 

“At some point we need to tell him what’s going on, Y/n.” She urged gently and then squeezed your hand as softly as possible. 

You felt a little wave of gratefulness in your chest at Genya’s determined and dedicated presence and you squeezed her hand back, “Eventually.” You murmured and then closed your eyes again, still feeling exhausted. 

“You sound terrible.” She noted and sat up against the headboard, resting her back against it. You very slowly rolled over and laid your head against her thigh and you sighed. 

“You’re my best friend, Genya.” You murmured. 

She let out a little sigh and she laid her hand on top of your head, “You really love him, don’t you?” She asked quietly. 

You didn’t answer her at first. She knew the answer and so did you, but the moment you spoke it aloud, it became real and it became capable of ruining everything. 

“Yes.” You finally answered in a squeak. 

There was a silence that filled the air around the two of you and you felt her lean over the edge of the bed for a moment. When she settled back in her spot, she tapped your head very gently and cleared her throat. 

“I found something. While you were sleeping.” She said almost nervously. 

“What do you mean, ‘something’?” You asked and stared off at the wall ahead of you. 

“I mean about your… condition.” She said quietly and you could hear her flipping through a book above you. 

Finally, she laid the open book down in front of your face and you reached up with a shaking hand to grab it. You sat up slowly with a bit of her help and laid the book in your lap as you peered down at it. The pages were old and weathered but the drawings were clear as can be. Roses were sketched onto the page and you ran your fingers over the paper as you read the text next to it. 

‘In extreme cases of unrequited love, the affected person will become sick with envy and begin to exhibit signs of serious illness…’

You blinked a few times and read through the recorded symptoms. 

Every single one was something you were experiencing.

“No. Absolutely not.” You breathed and looked up at a frowning Genya. 

“The symptoms are all there. This is what’s ailing you.” She said, her eyes growing watery. 

“Genya-“

“I’ll spare you the heavy reading. There is no cure, not unless he confesses his true and honest love for you.” 

You felt dread add itself to your already sore chest and you turned your head to look up at her. 

“Oh.”

She brought her hands up and cupped your cheeks and she shook her head, “I swear, we won’t let you die. We will find a way. Me and Baghra, Saints, I’ll even tell Him-“

“You can’t tell him.” You whispered and looked up at her tearfully, “You have to swear to me that you will not tell him. Genya, I’m begging you. Let him just… let him be happy with his Sun Summoner. He’ll forget about me, he’s already beginning to.” You said and sniffled, reaching up to wipe your eyes. 

Tears were falling down the redhead’s cheeks now and she shook her head, “No, this isn’t how it ends.” She said sternly and wiped her own eyes with the backs of her hands after she lowered them from your face. 

You leaned your head against her shoulder and closed your eyes, “I’m so tired.” You whispered, feeling exhaustion course through your body at a rapid rate. 

“Sleep, sweetheart. Please. I’ll stay here with you until morning.” Genya promised and you nodded. 

She helped you lay back onto the pillow behind you and she tucked the comforter around your shoulders before feeling your forehead once again.

“Thank you for being so good to me.” You whispered and she gave you a heartbreakingly sad smile. 

“What are friends for?”

-

The next morning was excruciating. A terrible coughing fit roused you from your sleep and you’d- yet again- made a bloody, flowery mess all over. This time, you helped Genya clean the mess up despite her protests. Once she’d helped you clean up, she announced that she had a hot bath drawn for you. 

You followed her into your bathroom and pulled your clothes off before you stepped into the hot water and let out a long, relieved sigh as you sunk down into it and sat. 

“I need to go tend to the Queen for a little while. I shouldn’t be too long. Will you be okay if I leave for just a few hours? If you need anything, I’ve already informed Baghra of your condition, you can go find her.” She explained and then gave you a little smile. 

“You’ve been busy this morning.” You commented and she shrugged. 

“Well, I’m just making sure you’ll be alright while we figure this all out.” She said softly and patted your head a few times, “Well, off I go. Please, please be careful. And if you have a coughing fit, do it over the tub. We can drain the water easily.” She said, half joking.  

You bid her farewell and she left your room and you sank deeper into the water, letting it soothe your sore muscles, though it didn’t do much for your stinging throat and aching chest. You brought a hand to your forehead and you felt a wave of melancholia drag you down. 

There was really no way that you were going to get out of this alive. It wasn’t like Aleksander was going to burst in on his knees and confess that he’d loved you the entire time, and you highly doubted that if a Healer couldn’t help you, then you were beyond help. You rubbed your temples very slowly and let out a very long, exasperated sigh, which triggered a few coughs. Little droplets of blood flew forward into the water from your mouth and you winced as a few petals loosed themselves from your throat as well. They floated atop the hot water and you picked one of the soft, pink petals up tentatively. It looked like a rose petal. It was a rose petal. You were grateful that it was only a few soft petals this time rather than the thorns and stems you’d cough up other times. You dropped the petal back in the water and you laid your head back against the edge of the bathtub weakly.

Your chin wobbled slightly and you closed your eyes just as tears started to stream out of them. You soundlessly cried as you sat in the steaming water and you reached up to hold your hands over your face as you cried. Soon enough, your cries were no longer soundless and you sobbed into your hands. Your whole entire body hurt and you were in agony. Emotional and physical agony. You wished for it all to stop and you pulled your hands away from your face and gripped the edges of the tub as you continued to cry with your eyes squeezed shut in pain.

Your mind wandered to Aleksander, something it often did, and you gasped painfully. You could practically feel his fingers running through your hair again, and you pictured what it would have been like if he had gathered you in his slender arms instead of just messing with your hair. The thought brought you a split second of comfort before it brought on waves of pain, crashing against your chest like rogue waves in a tumultuous ocean. 

Oh, you loved him. You couldn’t just stop loving him. Even though you sat and wished so desperately that you could. You gripped the edges of the tub impossibly tight and sputtered out a few heavy coughs that left your chest feeling split open. Your bathwater was tinged pink now and there was an arrangement of fragmented and full rose petals floating around in the water.  

A little tap made you open your eyes and you looked up to see Aleksander standing in the doorway of your bathroom. You made a move to cover yourself but he simply shook his head. 

“I’m not looking, it’s okay.” He stated, staying in the doorway. 

You glanced away from him sadly and you gave him a nod. You heard his boots tap against the marble floor and you heard a bit of rustling before you turned your head towards him again to see that he was now kneeling at the side of your tub. 

“You look terrible. Really, really terrible.” He commented. 

“Thanks. You really know how to make someone feel great, Aleksander.” You snapped and narrowed your eyes at him. 

He let out a sigh and shook his head a few times, “You’re still lovely. You just look miserable. Have you looked in a mirror recently? You look malnourished, you look poorly rested. Your face is sunken, your eyes are lifeless, you look terrible.” He explained and you laid your head down on the edge of the tub. 

“I’ll be fine.” You said nonchalantly. 

“Yeah, you all keep trying to tell me that but I don’t believe it all that much. Look at you. You can’t even move without it looking like it’s causing you pain.” 

“What do you care?” You asked and closed your eyes, biting back a sob. 

“What do I care? What do I care? Are you an imbecile? I care more than you seem to even care to imagine!” He snapped angrily and stood up abruptly. 

“Whatever. I know you’d rather be with your Sun Summoner right now. Please just go.”

“Saints, you’re such a bitter thing! You knew what the Sun Summoner coming here would mean. You know what it does mean. Get over yourself, this is bigger than you and your need for attention!” He exclaimed. 

Though he hadn’t, you felt as if he’d lifted you to your feet and slapped you until you fell. You slowly opened your eyes and looked up at him. Your eyes grew glossy with tears and you bit down on your cheek before you shifted your eyes away from a seething Aleksander.

“Please just go away.” You whimpered and brought your hands up to your face, hiding it from his sight. 

You cried silently for a moment and you rubbed your eyes vigorously before lifting your head out of your hands to tell him once more to leave. 

But he was already gone. 

-

The week leading up to the winter fete was exhausting. 

Not that you had been doing much other than laying around in your room and taking brief walks whenever Genya had a moment to accompany you outside. 

Nothing had improved though. 

You were still weak, still coughing, still in pain. Nothing was better, in fact, it seemed to only worsen by the day. 

The day of the fete was upon you and you had argued with Genya for nearly two hours so that she’d let you go. Finally, she had conceded and told you that you could go as long as you left early and were very, very careful not to cough around anyone. 

“And if you start feeling worse, you’re going right back to bed. Do you understand me?” Genya asked critically as she held a big, white box to her chest. Your dress. She was holding it hostage until you agreed to her terms. 

“Yes, fine, anything! I’ve waited so long to go.” You weren’t sure why you were so excited to go to the fete. You had previously been excited to go because you’d be going with Aleksander, but of course, that wasn’t the case now. You hadn’t seen him in nearly a week. Genya told you he’d been in to check on you while you slept, but you doubted it. You doubted a lot when it came to Aleksander these last seven days. 

Genya set the box down on a small table near the fireplace in your room and she opened it up, humming softly to herself as she did, “Pink? I didn’t pin you as a pink girl.” 

“Well, I am one. And it’s pretty, isn’t it?” You asked and watched as she pulled the gown out from the box. 

It was beautiful. It was a pale shade of blush pink with long sleeves and lots of beautiful embroidery and bead work. The dress earned you an approving sound from Genya and she looked over at you as you sat on the edge of your bed. 

“It is pretty, yes. I’m a bit worried you’ll stain it.” She said and eyed you with a frown, “Are you sure you want to go? You’re still so sick. Worse, even.” She said with a frown as she walked towards you and laid the dress out on the bed at your side. 

“I want to go. We can go together. Besides, I’ve been stuck in here for so long now.” You said, sighing dramatically. Your throat burned with your sigh and Genya watched as you brought your fingers to your throat. 

She quickly grabbed the waste bin next to your bed and held it up to you and you grabbed it. You coughed over it painfully for a few minutes, an array of petals and a few small thorns freeing themselves from your inflicted lungs. Genya held her hand against your back comfortingly and waited for you to spit the last of the sticky blood out and then she gently took the waste bin from your hands. She passed you a glass of water from your bedside table and you sipped it, even though it felt like you were swallowing broken glass. 

“Y/n, you look awful.” Genya said sadly and pushed some of your limp hair away from your face. 

You knew she was right. Your entire face had sunken in and you were aware of the dark circles under your eyes. Any luster your hair or skin once had was now gone and you looked dull and lifeless. You looked almost like a walking corpse. Your nails were thin and brittle and your lips were chapped and had traces of dried blood on them. You did look awful. 

Realistically, you could use your abilities and make yourself look better, but you had absolutely no energy to do so. You were lucky if you had the energy to get up and take a walk with Genya. You sighed quietly and wiped your lips with the back of your hand and shrugged once. You shakily passed the glass of water back to Genya and you rubbed your eyes. 

“Will you help me get ready? Nothing fancy, I just don’t wanna look so unhealthy.” You asked quietly and she nodded a couple of times.

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead and then offered her hands down towards you. You accepted them gratefully and pulled yourself to your feet with her help and she passed you your dress. 

“Go change, I’ll help you button up.” She prompted and you took the dress from her and wandered off towards the dressing screen in the corner of your room. 

You slid behind it and undressed yourself with weak, shaking hands, and you pushed your nightdress off of your body. You tossed it aside and then took on the next task of stepping into the soft pink gown. You climbed into the dress clumsily and once you’d pulled the sleeves on and gotten it situated on your body, you wandered out from behind the screen. Genya awaited you by your bed and you made your way over to her and turned around so that the undone back of your dress faced her. 

“You need to promise me one more thing.” Genya said quietly as she began to button up your dress nimbly. 

“What is it?” You asked, looking back over your shoulder at the redheaded girl. 

“Avoid the Darkling at all costs tonight please. Your condition worsens after he’s around, I’ve seen it. Please just, don’t seek him out, stay away from him. Have fun, mingle, have a drink, but leave him alone. For your sake, please.” She begged softly and then finished buttoning your dress. 

You nodded compliantly and you ran your hands down the front of your dress, smoothing it all down before turning around to face her. You smiled up at her and she pointed at a chair in the middle of the room. 

“Sit. I’ll fix up your hair and make you look a little less tired.” She said softly and you walked towards the chair. You sat down in it and you closed your eyes, a prickling becoming bothersome at the back of your throat. You swallowed it down and winced at the sharp pain sliding back down your throat. 

You just had to get through tonight. 

Genya stood behind you and she worked at your hair for a while until it was in simple waves. She then walked around to face you and she determinedly waved her hand over your face a few times slowly. After nearly fifteen minutes of this, she pulled away from you and handed you a hand mirror. 

“I did all that I could. How do you feel about it?” She asked. 

You glanced at yourself in the mirror and hummed. Though you still looked frail, you didn’t look nearly even half as bad as you had beforehand. You looked as if perhaps you hadn't slept in a few days but otherwise you seemed healthy. You looked up at her with a smile and you nodded, passing the mirror back to her. 

“Thank you. Truly, thank you.” You said softly and she gave you a sweet smile in return and kissed the top of your head. 

“I have to help the Queen get ready. Will you wait for me? I’ll come back and accompany you to the party.”

You looked over at her and gave her a little nod and stood up from the chair you sat in. You gave your friend a little hug and she hugged you back delicately, as if she was afraid you’d break. 

“Thank you. Really, Genya. For everything.”

“Don’t start talking like that. It almost sounds like goodbye and I won’t have it. I’ll see you in an hour or two.” She stated and then marched out of your room. 

Goodbye. You scoffed. You didn’t even want to think about goodbye yet. 

But of course now you were faced with the reality of it all. There was no obtainable cure to your ailment. The thought of it spread dread through your body like you’d never felt before and you felt even sicker than you ever had prior to today. 

A particular wave of nausea had you sprinting to the waste bin by your bed and you dropped to your knees and retched into it, your throat getting sliced up with an especially sharp slew of blood and thorns and a few battered petals. The door behind you opened and you heard a gasp from the doorway and wiped your face with the back of your hand before you turned around. 

Still on your knees, you looked up to see Aleksander’s personal favorite Healer, Emilia, standing in the doorway. The two of you stared at each other for a moment before she walked towards you and gently helped you to your feet. She looked over your shoulder into the wastebasket and then she looked up at your face, her mouth making a little ‘o’. She glanced back in the bin and then she shook her head. 

“Are those…?”

“Yes. They’re petals. Why are you here?” You asked and slowly sat down on the edge of your bed. 

“The Darkling sent me to check on you.” She whispered and then she placed her hand on your head, feeling your temperature. 

“Genya is doing a fine job on her own, thank you, Emilia.” You wheezed and then leaned your head into your hands. 

She stayed put for a moment and looked back and forth between you and your bloody, flowery vomit and then she gave you a tedious nod, “Yes, okay. I’m sorry to have intruded.“ she said quietly and you gave her only a small hum in response before she scuttled out of the room, retreating as if you were some feral dog, before you could even think to stop her. You would have certainly been wise to. 

You glanced at the door and felt a cold, sick dread fill your stomach. She was going to tell Aleksander. 

-

 You sat, slumped, in the chair by your fireplace and you closed your eyes, letting out labored breaths. Your chest had become impossibly tight and you sat in fear that Aleksander would burst in and berate you at any moment now. 

Your eyes filled with tears at the thought of just Aleksander and you wrapped your arms around yourself. It wasn’t like you couldn’t miss him. He was, at the end of the day, your best friend. Or at least, he had been. You didn’t really know where you stood with him now. 

Panic gripped your lungs when you heard hurried footsteps down the hallway and when the door swung open you winced. No yelling ensued and you turned around to see Genya standing in the doorway, gazing over at you with a little frown. 

“Are you sure you’re up to this?” She asked softly as she strode towards you. 

You simply gave her a little nod and you rose to your feet off of the chair and grabbed onto the hand she was now extending for you. She helped you steady yourself and she frowned once, pulling you into a gentle side hug. 

“Okay. The party has already started, I hope you don’t mind. There was a… choreographed display. Of shadow and light.” She explained slowly and then glanced down at you. You knew who she was talking about. Aleksander and Alina.

She gave you a sympathetic smile and you realized your face must have fallen, “I just figured you didn’t want to have to watch them.”

“No, I appreciate it. Thank you, Genya.” You said quietly and then nodded towards the door, “Let’s go. I don’t want to be out long tonight, I don’t think.” You murmured, a frown ever present on your face. 

She nodded just once and whisked you out of your room. The walk from the Little Palace to the Grand Palace was made in comfortable silence and you leaned your head against Genya’s shoulder. She wrapped her arm around your shoulders and gently patted your arm, and you let out a small sigh. As soon as the two of you walked inside of the Grand Palace, you instantly regretted coming to the fete. 

People were crowded around the hallway and spilled out from the room of the event, leaving you hardly any space to breathe. You wrapped both of your arms around Genya’s and you nearly buckled under the wave of nausea that crashed over you. 

Genya slowly pulled away from your side and she grabbed your hand and nodded towards the grand hall, “I’m going to go get a drink. Would you like one?” You nodded idly and she gave your hand a little squeeze, “Okay. Stay here. Don’t get around too many people.” She advised and you nodded again. 

She scurried off hurriedly down the hall and you looked down at your dress. You ran your fingers down the embroidered bodice and you let out a little sigh. You sorely regretted not staying in bed and you looked around at the other partygoers. Some were drunk, others were just boisterous. Most hid their sordidness underneath fine clothes and expensive perfumes. You looked down at your feet and felt guilty for making Genya drag you to the party and you turned to go find her. 

“Y/n!” 

You turned around to see Alina bustling towards you with two guards in tow behind her. You had to blink back the urge to cry when you saw her. She wore a black kefta with yellow and gold embroidery and her hair was done up beautifully. The nausea hit you harder and you held your hand over your stomach instinctively, giving her a terse smile. 

“Hello.” You breathed and leaned back up against the wall behind you. 

“You look beautiful.” She commented sweetly, “Feeling better?” She asked and you gave her a bleary nod. 

“Mhm, so much better.” You mumbled and sucked in a deep breath through your nose. A sharp feeling began to climb the back of your throat and you began to panic. 

“I’m glad to hear, you look so pretty. I’ve missed you readying me.” She admitted and then chuckled nervously. 

One of the guards leaned forward and mumbled something in her ear and she frowned, but nodded. 

“I have to get going. But please, come see me tomorrow.” She pleaded and you gave her a simple nod, your throat and chest beginning to ache and burn all the same. 

The guards urged her forward and everything began to sound as if you were underwater. You stared off absentmindedly after Alina and frowned deeply. Aleksander strode down the hall towards her and his eyes fell upon you. His stern expression seemed to falter a bit when he looked at you and you glanced down at the bundle of flowers he had in his hands. Your eyes filled with tears involuntarily and you watched as he stopped the guards that stood with Alina and he passed her the flowers before he locked eyes with you again. 

Your face burned with shame and sadness and your vision began to blur and shift and you pushed away from the wall dizzily, ignoring the muffled shouts of your name coming from his mouth. You shoved past a few people and gathered the skirts of your dress up in one hand and you rushed down the hallway. You stopped briefly a few times to steady yourself against the wall and you felt a sickening pressure at the back of your throat. You just had to make it back to your room. 

You carried on almost deliriously and you made your way into the nearly totally empty Little Palace. You bustled up the stairs with your hand over your mouth when a sharp cough ripped its way up your throat and you heaved forward, falling to your knees on the stairs as you coughed violently. Tears burned in your eyes and fell down your cheeks helplessly as you spewed the hot, metallic mixture of your blood and bile over your gloved hand. You crawled up the stairs weakly and you pushed yourself to your feet, leaving a bloody smear on the marble floor. You stumbled hurriedly down the hall to your room and you threw your door open as soon as you could. You fell to your knees again and let out a long, sad wail before you were coughing out thorns and petals all over the pristine skirt of your dress. 

The flowery vomit looked even worse tonight, and the blood mixed in with it was darker and there was much more of it. You coughed and heaved and choked on whatever was in your throat until an entire rose bloom came hurtling out of your mouth. You stared down at it shakily and reached out to touch it before you coughed again, much harder this time. Blood flew from your open mouth all over your carpet and your dress and your chin and you cried loudly, lowering yourself to the floor weakly. You reached up shakily to wipe your eyes with the back of your hand and you looked around at the bloody mess you had made and you whimpered. 

You thought about Aleksander again as you coughed more, your chest feeling as if it was going to collapse at any moment. You missed him.  You desperately wished it was you that he gave his affections to. You loved him. It became impossibly hard to breathe and you could see black spots dancing in your vision and you could swear you heard him calling out for you; Something so bittersweet that brought you so much comfort as you laid in a mess of your own blood and shredded flower petals. Your heart pounded against your chest and you could feel cold exhaustion climbing up around your mind. You could still hear his voice, closer now. You weren’t sure if you were ready to die, but at least you could try and make peace with it. You drew in a labored breath and then found yourself gasping in fear as you felt two hands grip your arms. 

You were yanked up against somebody and you slowly looked upwards to see Aleksander kneeling over you, holding you against his chest. 

“Say something, dammit!” He ordered, but his voice sounded far away. 

You tried to speak his name but your chest seemed to collapse in on itself and you turned your head to cough away from him, not wanting to get any blood on him. As soon as you finished coughing, he gripped your chin and turned your head towards his and he stared down at you wildly. 

“Y/n, I really, really need you to say something.” He pleaded and you weren’t sure if you were imagining the glint of unshed tears in his eyes or not. 

You let out another wail and you tried to push away from him, but his arms were like steel around you and you were too weak to even attempt to get away from him, so you resigned to crying in his arms. 

“Aleksander.” You wheezed and weakly grabbed onto the lapel of his kefta. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?” He demanded and cradled you gently against his chest. 

“You don’t care!” You cried, finding your very, very weak voice suddenly. 

“I do care!” 

“You don’t! You just care about Alina, you want Alina, you need Alina, you’re in love with Alina. You don’t care, and I don’t expect you to. Why should you? It’s my own miserable fault for falling in love with you.” You sobbed and felt as if you were going to vomit again. 

Aleksander didn’t say a single word. Instead, he leaned down until his forehead was touching yours and he nudged his nose against yours just slightly. You fought to get away from him, but he didn’t allow you to move. He shushed you softly as you cried and attempted to get as far away from him as possible and you sobbed, grabbing at his wrists.

“Stop! Please just leave me alone! I can’t take this.” You cried and hit his chest, but he still didn’t move. 

Tears rolled down your cheeks and you sniffled and eventually stopped trying to get away from him. He seemed to want to make it hard for you until your bitter end. One of his hands was gently moving through your hair as it had many nights ago and you whimpered, a sound that broke his heart. 

“I care. More than you know, little love.” He murmured and kept his forehead pressed against yours, “You think I don’t care? How could I not? You are so special to me.”

You cried and subconsciously leaned into his touch as he ran his fingers through your hair. 

“Please stop.” You begged. You wanted to cover your ears. 

“Stop what? Do you not want to hear how I care? How I feel ashamed of myself for making you feel as if I don’t? Do you not want to hear about how in love with you I am?” He asked in a whisper and you froze. His hand continued to sweep through your hair and you let out a loud cry and struggled against his arms as he lifted his forehead away from yours. 

“You’re lying.” You sobbed and brought your hands up to your face as you cried into them. 

“I’d never lie to you about something like this.” He insisted softly. 

“You are lying.” 

“How can you accuse me of that?” He asked, his tone incredulous. 

“Because I’m dying! I’m dying and you know it’s what I want to hear!” You argued, but you let your head fall against his chest nonetheless. 

“I don’t lie. I’ve never lied to you. Saints, you’re inconsolable. I have my own reasons for getting close to Alina, but none of them are even close to being because I’m in love with her. No, my love is saved for you and you alone.” He murmured, “I have loved you for years. Ages. For so long, hoping and praying that perhaps you’d see me in the same light one day. I never wished for it to be like this.” He finished, voice breaking just slightly at the end. 

You felt the tightness in your chest ease up just a little bit and you pulled your head away from his chest so that you could look up at him, only to find him already gazing down at you. You studied his face for any sign that he might be lying to you and when you found none you leaned your head against the side of his arm. You weakly nuzzled your cheek against it and you could hear him let out a long sigh. 

“Are you going to tell me what is wrong with you? Or are you just going to leave that to my Healer relaying information to me?” He asked and you shrugged once, more pressure leaving your chest. 

You let out a pathetic sounding sigh and you clung to him as if someone was going to take him from you and you quietly began to explain your condition to him, leaving little to nothing out. When you finished, the silence around the two of you was painful and you looked up at his face. He seemed angry and he seemed as if he was going to cry, but he looked down and met your eyes, and everything on his face melted into sadness. 

“I did this to you?” He asked quietly and you shook your head. 

“You couldn’t possibly have known. I mean, I didn’t. None of us did until Genya found it in a book.” You murmured and he gathered you entirely against his chest. 

“I’m so, so sorry.” He breathed, his voice practically trembling. 

“No, please. Don’t be sorry. It’s okay, everything is okay now.” You said hoarsely and he shook his head once but didn’t argue further. 

He stayed quiet for a moment before he sniffled and then slowly rose to his feet, pulling you with him, “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah? And then you can lay in my room.” He suggested quietly. 

“Okay.” You whispered, leaning against him entirely.

-

You sat in Aleksander’s bed an hour or two later, wrapped in a few thick blankets. You watched him scurry around his room as he tried to ready himself for bed and you smiled affectionately. After a moment he turned to you and let out a small sigh.

“What are you smiling at? You should be sleeping.” 

“Can’t. Not without you.” You murmured and he blew out a few candles in the room before he came and crawled into bed next to you, his arms snaking around your waist. He tugged you against his chest protectively and he let out a long sigh. 

Your damp hair was splayed out over the pillow behind your head and you pushed it away from him, clearing a little space for his head on your pillow. He took the hint and scooted his face closer to yours and he nudged his nose against yours a few times. 

“You looked so beautiful tonight. In the hallway. In your pretty dress. I think pink might be your color now.” He said sweetly and you shook your head, leaning in to peck his lips a few times. 

He took the opportunity to capture your lips in a deep, long kiss and finally when the two of you were properly breathless, you pulled away and shook your head. 

“Forget pink. Black looks nicer on me, anyway .”

#aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova x you #the darkling x you #the darkling x reader #the darkling imagine #the darkling imagine #the darkling #general kirigan imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #shadow and bone imagine #grishaverse #shadow and bone #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes imagine

[angelaestheticbaby]

The bunny and the wolf

Summary: Aleksander hates everyone except you. You could stay forever.

Warnings: I guess none, just fluff

A/N: it was inspired by this pic

Aleksander was always like a big, bad wolf. Snurling and growling at people who wanted to get close. He pushed everyone away and never let anyone near.

But when he attemped to scare away you, you just beamed at him like a literal sunshine and he immediatly fell in love.

You were like the innocent little Bunny and he was the big, bad wolf. You softened his heart and since then he was soft and gentle with you, hars and cold with everyone else. You were his Bunny and the sight of you made him melt.

Aleksander had been quite cold and stoic when you first met him. He always kept everyone at an arm's length distance, never really letting anyone close.

But it was you who finally broke that cold armour he had around himself. He soon became like a big, protective bear towards you. You were the light that brought out his softer side and made him melt.

No one else had ever seen him that way, they all feared him and his stern demeanour. But to you, he was like a gentle lamb, willing to do anything for you.

"Hi baby" you stepped into his office and hugged him from behind. You wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly. He set his pen down on the desk and put his glass aside. He turned in your hold and wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer.

"Hello, my Bunny" Aleks whispered.

"How's it going? You seemed stressed this moring when you left our bed" you nuzzled closer and he literally saw you as a little Bunny feeling comfortable.

"I'm better now" he said with a smile as he leanes down and whispers into your ear, "My Bunny is here with me."

He nuzzled your ear with his lips and ran his hands through your hair. "You have no idea how much I missed you today."

"I missed you too lovely"

Lovely. You called him lovely, when he was anything but lovely. His heart skipped a beat. He was so used to being feared and respected, he had never been called something so sweet yet intimate before, but it just felt right.

"I have some good news for you, Bunny" he whispers softly.

"Yeaahh? Tell me" you whispered sweetly. He didn't understand how someone so precious like you could be with someone cursed and bad like him. But you were there and he didn't plan on letting you go.

"I want to hold you in my arms forever" he says softly as he ran his fingers through your hair. He pulled you close, bringing his lips to your ear. "I want to spend my life with you, my Bunny. I will be yours, my love" he said in a passionate whisper.

He stared deeply into your eyes as he held your face in his hands, "I would die for you."

"I love you Aleks" you beamed at him. Your softness made an effect on him like nothing else. You didn't guite catch on that he was proposing to you, but he was willing to try again.

He smiled warmly as he held you close. "I love you too, my Bunny."

He looked you deeply in the eyes as he cupped your face in his hands. He stared at you for a long moment before he whispered softly, "I want to marry you. Will you be my wife?"

Aleks was the type of person everyone feared, but with you he was soft and gentle. You have tamed the big, bad wolf.

You froze a bit then your knees buckled a little and started crying in joy.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes" you hugged him closer and started kissing his face everywhere you could reach.

He kissed you passionately as he held you tightly in his arms. He was never the type of person to show much emotion, but with you, he was like a completely different person.

"I love you so much. You're the person I want to spend my life with. I knew you were the one right from the first moment we met"

He nuzzles at your neck with his lips again, "I can't wait to be with you forever"

#aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling #the darkling fanfic #ben barnes #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes x reader #the darkling fluff

[mystcldydrms]

SOMETHING BETWEEN US - SIRIUS BLACK

prompt: "there is something between us."

pairing: young!sirius black x fem!reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings: slight angst & fluff, cursing

notes: thank you for requesting. it took me a while to find a good start to the fic but I got there in the end.

He was your best friend. He was your soulmate. Sirius knew how you felt. You knew how he felt. However, you were scared. You didn’t want to lose him. He was one of the most important people in your life. You knew that trying to push your feelings away was the safest option, as of now, but how long would you be able to keep them locked up?

You tried to tell yourself that you and Sirius would be awful together. But every time a thought like this crossed your mind, you knew it was a lie. He would treat you like a princess. You could laugh together; he would still make fun of you, and you would do the same to him. Whenever the two of you were together, it felt natural. It felt like the universe knew that you were meant for one another, but the more you thought about it, the more anxious you got.

Another precaution you took was to spend as little time with Sirius as possible. It was easier said than done, seeing as though both of you were Gryffindors and you had mutual friends. However, for the last couple of days, you had been quite successful, only catching a quick glimpse of him whenever you entered or exited the Great Hall.

Today you weren’t as lucky as the other times.

You were one of the last students to pack up your things after another lesson on Transfiguration when you turned around and bumped into another person. You instantly knew who it was without even looking at him. Just his smell made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

“Sirius, hey.”, you said to him as if it was the first time you’d seen one another all day. Of course, you had seen him walk into the classroom. You had stolen glances at him every few minutes during Transfiguration, and you knew he did the same thing, yet whenever he looked your way, you quickly averted your gaze and looked at Professor McGonagall again.

It felt like a lifetime ago that you had a proper conversation with your best friend, and you had to be honest with yourself, you missed him. You missed everything about him. His smile, his laugh, his touch. But there was still that pinch of anxiety in the back of your mind.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”, Sirius stated matter-of-factly.

A sad sigh escaped your lips as you shook your head, pushing another book inside your bag before you heaved it onto your shoulder. For the first time, in what felt like forever, you looked up into Sirius’ eyes, your heart breaking into small pieces once you noticed the worried expression on his face.

You absentmindedly bit your lower lip as you nervously started to play with your fingers. You knew you couldn’t lie to him. You have known each other ever since your first train ride on the Hogwarts Express. The two of you sat opposite each other. You were a rather shy little girl who wasn’t great at making new friends, however, Sirius was different. He started to talk to you as soon as your bottom hit the seat. He wanted to know everything about you, and although you had only given him one- or two-word answers, he kept talking until you had arrived at Hogwarts.

“y/n”, Sirius whispered your name, snapping you out of your daydream as you felt his hand grab one of yours, trying to make you stop fumbling.

“I don’t know what to say. And I really have to go.”, you announced quietly, pulling your hand away from his before you marched past him, your eyes getting a bit glassy.

“You’re not running away from me.”, you heard him say as he grabbed your arm, preventing you from exiting the classroom and getting as far away from him as possible.

“I really have to get to my next class.” “We don’t have another class until this afternoon, and you know this, so stop running away.”

You had never seen or heard Sirius be this serious before. The only time he had been this way was when he had told you all about his family and the way they had treated him once they found out he didn’t get into Slytherin.

You quickly wiped away the tears that were trying to spill out of your eyes, your hands shaking as you carefully turned around, not yet daring to look into the eyes of the boy you loved.

“There is something between us.”

Sirius confirmed something that the two of you already knew. Everyone knew it. All your friends talked about it. James and Remus once had a bet going on about when you would finally get over yourselves and start dating. James had lost that bet a long time ago. However, neither of them nor any of your other friends had lost hope.

“I know there is.”

You felt Sirius’ hand glide down your arm until he was able to grab your hand, slightly intertwining your fingers with his and this time you didn’t pull away. You even let him pull you closer to where he was.

“I’m just scared.”, you confessed.

“Why? There’s nothing to fear.”

“Yes, there is.”, you stated. “What if the two of us really started dating, and after a while, we notice that it isn’t right and we should only be friends? But we can’t be friends anymore because it would be too weird, and it would break my heart to ever see you with someone else. So, we can’t ever spend time with one another again, and our friends have to choose a side and – “

“y/n, stop. This is madness!”

You looked up at him with wide eyes, your lips lightly trembling. Sirius’ hand left yours, only for him to cup your face, his thumbs gently tracing your cheeks.

“Can’t we start worrying about it when it happens, which it won’t?”

“No, Sirius, we can’t. You know I can’t. I’m not a young, reckless boy like you who always thinks life is a joke. I worry all the fucking time.”

Sirius leaned forward to press his lips gently on your forehead, instantly calming you down. He didn’t always know what to say, but he always knew what to do, and he knew that his touch calmed you down.

Once the warmth of his lips disappeared from your forehead, you opened your eyes again, noticing that the young Gryffindor smiled at you. His eyes were full of adoration for you.

“Okay, let’s talk now.”, he told you honestly.

“If you’re willing to give us a chance, I will be the happiest man in the whole universe.”

“Man? You’re a boy.”

The two of you couldn’t help but laugh, and you immediately knew everything would be alright. You just felt it.

“Let me talk, woman.”

“Alright, go on.”, you said while you wrapped your arms slightly around him.

“Like I said, once we’re a couple I won’t let you go again. You’re my y/n. You have been ever since we first met on the Hogwarts Express, and that won’t change. James already hates me because I talk so much about you. Nothing will ever tear us apart, okay? We both know how to talk; we can communicate with one another if there's ever a problem. You’re the love of my life. There, I said it. And I mean every single word of it.”

Your cheeks were already as hot as they could get, the blush on full display. Why did you ever think you could just turn off your feelings for him? You must have been out of your mind. Sirius was the love of your life. He was the man–boy – of your dreams.

“I love you, Sirius Black.”

“I love you too, y/f/n.”

And there it was, the moment you had been waiting for.

Sirius slowly leaned down, his eyes never leaving yours. You were able to feel his hot breath on your lips before he finally pressed his to yours. His lips felt like magic. You could hear fireworks explode inside of you as you kissed the man of your dreams for the first time. They moved perfectly in sync while Sirius’ hands slid down from your cheeks, only for his arms to wrap around your body, squeezing you gently. You let out a slight giggle against his lips, not once pulling away from him. You knew you had to breathe at one point, but for now, you were okay with just being in the moment.

Until you heard someone clear their throat.

The two of you instantly pulled away from one another, your heads turning to the right, only to find Professor Dumbledore standing in the entryway to the Transfiguration classroom. One of his eyebrows was raised, and an amused smile graced his lips.

“Shouldn’t the two of you be on your way to lunch in the Great Hall?”

You nodded your head one of your hands holding your bag while the other one took Sirius’ hand, guiding him and yourself out of the classroom.

“Of course, Professor. We were just on our way.”, you stated embarrassedly, walking past the Headmaster of Hogwarts, your cheeks still as bright as a tomato.

“See what you did.”, you whisper-shouted.

Sirius only shrugged his shoulder, pulling his hand out of yours before he swung his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close against him as he dropped a swift kiss on the top of your head.  

“What can I say? If you hadn’t ignored me for the past week, we might’ve had our first kiss somewhere private.”

#sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #young!sirius x reader #young!sirius black x reader #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagines #ben barnes imagine #marauders imagines #marauders x reader #marauders x you

[hottpinkpenguin]

Could I request the Darkling x virgin reader where they go to bed together, but before they sleep together reader changes her mind as she's not ready. She's unsure how he will react, but darkling is super soft and reassuring and tells her they will only sleep together when she's ready/there's no rush or pressure etc...

A/n: I made you wait far too long for this anon!! this was a great prompt and i loved writing it. no one makes me melt more than Soft Darkling! hope you love it <33

Eager

Darkling X VirginFem!Reader Word Count: 2524 Warnings: fluff/spice (no smut), misogyny vibes (but not from Darkling!)

You felt utterly ridiculous standing in the middle of your expansive bedchamber, the lacy negligee Genya had picked out for you doing little to keep you warm. You had the bottom hem bunched in your shaking hands as you looked at yourself in the mirror. 

“Deep breaths,” Genya cooed gently as she brushed your hair down your back. You tried to follow her instructions, timing your inhales and exhales with hers. No amount of self-control could quite stifle the terrified stuttering of your heart in your chest. She knitted her brows at your reflection in the mirror.

“It’s normal to be nervous,” she observed softly. “But you shouldn’t be… terrified.” 

The corners of your mouth twitched as you fought the urge to cry. You were grateful for the dim light of the scattered candles in your room. It kept your sour expression cast in shadow. 

“I’m not terrified,” you argued weakly. “I’m just…” Your voice trailed off impotently as you tried to find the right word. Apprehensive? Embarrassed? Exhausted?

“Stressed.” You settled on a word that captured such a small fraction of the emotions swirling in your chest as to be almost negligible. You were terrified, although not in the way Genya assumed. You were anything but unsure of what you were about to do. In fact, you were utterly consumed with desire for Aleksander. The warm knot that boiled low and deep in your stomach confirmed that. Your heart skipped a beat as your pent-up mind thrust imagined scenes into your consciousness: your lips on the curve of his neck… the muscles on his back flexing as he climbs on top of you… his fingers digging into the flesh around your hips…

No, it wasn’t sex that you were terrified of. And it wasn’t Aleksander either. 

The source of your terror wasn’t anywhere outside of you. It was within you. You forced yourself to hold your own gaze in the mirror, staring down the demons in your own eyes. You need to confront this, you chided yourself. No more running. 

You were terrified of giving up this part of yourself to someone else. It wasn’t about Aleksander, and it wasn’t about the actions involved in giving it up. The thing that held your heart in an ice-cold vice was the fear of repercussions. You’d been raised in the Ravkan High Court your whole life, and as the only Lantsov daughter, your worth still hinged on antiquated rules tied to your purity. Your brothers Nikolai and Vasily had never known that kind of pressure, had never been forced to preserve their innocence for the bitter reward of bartering an advantageous marriage. 

You had Aleksander to thank for showing you your worth. He was the one who’d shown you what it meant to be truly valued, truly loved. He was the one who’d intervened on your behalf when you’d been standing at the altar, moments away from an ill-fated marriage to an abusive drunk. All your family had seen was the virginal princess wrapped in white - Ravka’s most valuable gift - and the massive coffers of your almost-husband’s family. Aleksander had seen a woman inches away from marrying what would ultimately be the death of her. He’d been the one to give you a choice. You loved him, completely and utterly, and he would be the one you’d choose to give yourself to, body and soul. 

But as much as you hated to admit it - as much as it stung to confront just how deeply rooted the twisted morals of your upbringing had become within your own mind - you hadn’t come to peace yet. You were flexing your newfound freedom a little more every day. With Aleksander by your side. But you needed more time. 

A gentle knock on the carved wooden doors that separated your bedchamber from the hall outside knocked you from your reverie. Genya stood hastily, smoothing her palm over the smooth waves of your hair one last time. She gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. You caught her hand under your own, nodding calmly as you smiled at her. You wondered if she could see the gratitude in your eyes. Aleksander was the first to show you true love, and Genya was the first to show you true friendship. You hoped that one day you’d be able to put into words just how much she’d saved you. 

She hesitated only briefly to smile back before she made her exit, disappearing through the doorway into the hall. You heard her exchange soft words with Aleksander before she closed the door behind her. 

You chuckled when you heard Aleksander knock again gently, asking if he could come in. Ever the gentleman, you thought as you replied affirmatively. The door opened a crack, deep shadows darkening the doorway. Aleksander seemed to materialize out of the very darkness itself. It was a strange manifestation of his powers, and one that you weren’t sure if he was fully aware of. You’d never mentioned it to him, preferring instead to let yourself be caught breathless by his presence each time. 

As always, you felt your breath tangle in your throat for an instant. The sight of him seemed to wipe your mind clean of all the worries and the conflicted emotions, leaving behind nothing more than that burning knot in your stomach. His dark eyes took in the scene before him, lingering on the vast expanses of your skin that he’d never seen before. For the first time since you’d slipped into the sheer, purple-tinted gown, you felt warm. You ignored the urge to demur and turn away under the heat of Aleksander’s hungry gaze. Instead, you rose from your seat in front of the dressing mirror and walked towards him. A gentle breeze from the open window next to your bed made the candlelight flicker, the hazy glow dancing in his eyes as he tracked your every movement. That delicious, warm knot low in your belly tightened at the closeness of him, the air between the two of you practically crackling with energy. 

“You look-”

You silenced what you were sure would have been a devastatingly appreciative compliment by pressing a finger to his full lips. He fell silent obediently, his eyes simmering like coals. It was rare for him to see you so confident. Usually he was the one guiding the interaction, but you felt incredibly powerful as he fell under your spell. His usually tense and vaguely troubled energy completely erased in favor of awe as he drank you in without an ounce of embarrassment. 

You replaced your finger with your lips, pressing yourself against his tall, strong frame. His hands raked up the side of your thighs, bunching the fabric of your gown up on your waist to expose the skin of your hips. His hands kept traveling upward, following your ribs from your sides up into the planes of your shoulders and your upper back. You let yourself melt into the kiss, moaning softly as he drank in every drop of what you were giving him with a hungry, seemingly bottomless need. 

His hands finally found their way up into your hair, tangling his fingers gently but firmly against your scalp as he pulled you back from his mouth. You looked up at him through slitted eyes, feeling drunk and whining at the loss of his mouth. He smirked, relishing in the effect his touch was having on you. 

“Eager are we, pretty girl?” 

Your stomach somersaulted at the pet name, your head spinning wildly as he bore back down on your mouth. His tongue pressed through your open lips, tasting you as if he’d never be sated. You could feel the seams between your thoughts starting to loosen, your mind falling under the intoxicating spell of lust. His hands released your hair and slid down your spine and over the swell of your backside. He hooked his hands under your ass, and you leapt up into his arms, twining your legs around his waist. He caught you easily, the muscles in his arms and back flexing with ease as he guided you backwards towards the luxurious bed. You felt the softness of the sheets envelop you as he laid you down, his weight settling on top of you not an instant later. It was all warmth and friction between you two, each of your hands roaming freely over the other’s body as you kept driving the kiss deeper. 

It wasn’t until you felt one of his hands slip over your naked hip and settle between your thighs that a familiar prick of uncertainty flared to life in the back of your mind. It was quiet but insistent, and like a lighthouse cutting through a thick fog, it brought your awareness crashing back into the moment with disappointing clarity.

Aleksander sensed your hesitation and broke the kiss, his eyes suddenly full of worry as he met your gaze. 

“Where’d you go?” he asked, his voice husky around the edges. The sound of it nearly wiped away the trace indecision that flitted around your thoughts like a gnat. But, as gorgeous as he looked hovering over you with a concerned expression, his breath more ragged than usual, you knew in your heart what your decision was.

“I… I want you… desperately want you. But… maybe not… maybe not tonight.” As the words came out in a halting mumble, you suddenly felt incredibly sheepish. A nagging voice in your head made the sharp observation that you’ve let him go this far, the least you can do is give the man what he needs and finish the job. 

You found you were unable to meet his eyes, afraid of what you’d see in his gaze. You weren’t sure you could bear to disappoint Aleksander of all people. Much like a few minutes ago, you felt the edges of your mouth turn down and tremble, tears threatening your eyes. That hot, lusty urge that had almost consumed you moments before crumpled like tissue paper in your blood, and your cheeks burned with shame.

“My beautiful girl,” he murmured, rolling sideways onto the bed and gently guiding your chin upward with his thumb. “Never discount your needs with me.” His voice was serious, each word heavy with emphasis.

You furrowed your brows in confusion, drinking in the flickers of emotion in his mahogany-black eyes. 

“I don’t understand,” you mumbled in reply. 

“Do not say ‘maybe not tonight’ when what you mean is ‘not tonight’,” he clarified. His words felt like a riddle you were struggling to grasp. Sensing your confusion, he went on. “You deserve better than that. This-” he gestured to your two bodies, still somewhat intertwined on the bed- “will only give us what we want if we are clear on what we need.”

You’d never laid with a man, had never come this far into intimacy with Aleksander, but you recognized the truth in his words on an instinctual level. The bluntness with which he addressed you was strange and refreshing, and it emboldened you. You nodded in agreement, holding his gaze to show him you understood. He smiled after a moment, satisfied with your reaction. 

“My affection for you is not contingent on your body,” he added, anticipating the direction of your worries before your thoughts had a chance to get there. “I love you for all that you are, independent of what you share with me on any given night.” Your head spun, struggling under the weight of what you were sure was one of the most pure and powerful expressions of love that anyone had put to words. Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as a crushing wave of appreciation for the man in front of you swallowed your thoughts.

Aleksander watched your emotions flash in your eyes, the tears causing him to frown slightly in confusion. He brushed a thumb at the corner of your lash line, wiping away the moisture there. His touch still sent shivers rippling over your skin, and you smiled at him. Emboldened by his devotion, you took a deep breath in and began to speak. 

“I don’t know how to give away this part of myself, Aleks. After having my virginity prized and sought after and protected for so long, I’m struggling to think of this-” you copied his gesture, referencing the space between you two where your legs tangled in his and your skin pressed on his torso “-as anything beyond duty. It’s getting better,” you added quickly, noticing the twinge of hurt in his eyes. “It is. Because of you. And I do love you. And I want this. I want to be yours, to give myself to you, including my body.” You had to swat away the urge to kiss him as you noticed the involuntary flicker of desire in his gaze at your words. “And I will. But not until I can think of sex as more than just… a gift.” 

The words tumbled out of your mouth faster than you could catch them. When you were done, you bit your lip, unsure if anything you’d confessed had made sense. You waited, studying Aleksander’s face. As usual, he was drinking you in, his intuition grasping at every minute detail in your tone, inflection, and expression. When you’d first met him, you’d been unnerved by how observant he was, how quickly he deduced your feelings and thoughts. At times, his studious attention was irritating  as it meant you couldn’t keep anything from him. But now, when you felt yourself drowning in a million emotions you weren’t sure had names, you were grateful for his ability to read you.

After a few long moments under his penetrating gaze, he smiled, softly chuckling. 

“What’s funny?” you asked, more curious than offended. He reached down and found your hand, resting on your stomach. He interlaced his fingers with yours and brought your knuckles to his lips, pressing a firm, reassuring kiss there. When he raised his dark eyes back to yours, you saw nothing but adoration sparkling back at you. 

“You are, quite simply, the most incredible being I have ever known,” he said simply, as if he were reading a recipe list to you. “I would wait until the night swallows the sun for you. Whenever you’re ready, my love. You know where to find me.” His last words were mumbled slightly as he rolled over, twisting towards the edge of the bed. As elated as you were by his unequivocal acceptance of your boundary, you couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit rejected to see him turn to leave. 

“And where’s that, Aleks?” you asked. He half-turned back to you, one eyebrow raised in question. “Where will I find you?” you clarified. He smirked, picking up the candle on your bedside table and blowing it out with a confident exhale. 

“Right here,” he replied, settling in under the covers next to you, his arms wrapping around your barely clothed body and pulling you against him. You smiled in the darkness at the realization that he wasn’t going anywhere, and neither were you…

#shadow and bone requests #aleksander kirigan #general kirigan x oc #general kirigan #general kirigan imagine #kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x oc #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morovoza #aleksander morozova #darkling imagine #darkling fanfiction #darkling shadow and bone #the darkling #darkling #ben barnes imagine

[padfootagain]

Silly Love

Hello!!! Here we go with a request from an anon for my Comeback Event!! Thank you so much for your request anon! It was such a delight to write!

Here is the request: “AAAAH i'm so excited for this event!!!! I wanted to request Ben Barnes with the Idiots In love trope!! like maybe they do interview together or we spot them publicly and they're so blushing and happy together that they forget to stay low in the public eye !! thank you so much Carole for giving us some fan content i love and appreciate your work so much ❤️”

This is so adorable, honestly…

****

Pairing: Ben Barnes x reader

Warnings: so much fluff your teeth will rot

Summary: you and Ben are giving a series of interviews for a project you’ve filmed together. But as the day goes by, it’s harder and harder for the two of you to remain serious and not act like the two fools in love that you are…

Word count: 3447

There was something in the way you spoke that always felt so reassuring to him.

Ben wasn’t certain of what it was exactly. The sound, the tone, the octave, the rhythm… He didn’t know what it was about your voice that simply… soothed him. He merely had to listen to you, close his eyes, and everything else would disappear.

He remembered the first time he heard it. It was through his TV screen. It didn’t feel the same then. It lacked the gentle imperfections your voice carried in real life. Still, he remembered watching the whole show you were playing in simply to listen to your voice.

One of these magic tricks of yours.

He should have been paying attention to what you were saying, to what the journalist was asking too. But as he stared at you, he simply forgot about anything else in the room but you. He stared at your eyelashes as they moved with each of your small blinking movements. He studied the curve of your nose, the line of your jaw, the colour of your lips. He knew how soft they felt against his. He fought against the sudden urge to simply cradle your neck, turn your head towards him, and kiss you until none of you could breathe…

You turned to him, and he fell into your eyes. Impossible to look away. Impossible to breathe at all. It felt like drowning, but in a wonderful way. Like falling forever and never wanting to hit the ground.

He didn’t even notice the way a dreamy smile formed on his lips. He was resting his chin in his palm, his elbow resting on the wooden armrest of his chair, set right next to yours.

He saw you tilting your head slightly, frowning a little…

He recognized those signs. It meant that you were waiting for an answer to something he had not been listening to…

“Ben? What do you think?” you repeated.

He shook himself, straightening up again, and blushing terribly.

“I… I am terribly sorry. I did not listen to the question,” he apologised, letting out an embarrassed laugh.

You soon joined him, chuckling while the interviewer repeated her question. You hid your embarrassment behind your hands…

You knew perfectly well why Ben had not been listening. He wasn’t paying attention.

You could hear his excuse, he gave it to you every time he wasn’t listening to you.

It’s not my fault if you’re too gorgeous to look at for me to focus on anything else.

And sometimes, you wondered if he truly meant that. Of course, you took it as a charming and flirty excuse. But there were moments when he would just stare at you the way he just did… maybe he was merely gawking at you, for real.

“Well, I was very happy to work with Y/N,” he answered, and you realized that, this time, you had been the one who wasn’t paying attention to the journalist sitting before you. “I had been admiring her work for a while so… huh… I was very curious to learn how she built her character’s presence, how she approached her roles. And it… it turns out that she is also an amazing human being so… I am a very happy man, indeed.”

You struggled to refrain a smile at his words. You knew perfectly well that you made him a happy man because of your blossoming relationship, not because of your talents as an actor.

You noticed the smirk that appeared on his lips, and knew that you were not doing a great job at hiding your emotions. A mix of satisfaction and embarrassment and shyness…

He adored it. He was so proud of himself for making you look like this. You were so adorable then…

You had not made your relationship official. Ben and you were both adamant in keeping your private lives private. Besides, you had met while working on this movie, and you didn’t want your relationship in your real lives to become a tool to promote the film. So, you were both determined to keep your relationship secret, for now.

You had to admit though that sitting next to Ben all day long, in a rather dark room, made it very difficult for you to act like the two of you were mere friends.

“What did you take home with you from set at the end of filming?” the interviewer asked, apparently oblivious of your inner battles.

“I took home some… small things that were on set… I don’t think I should tell you in details,” Ben laughed. “But I have one of my suits. Let’s… let’s say that.”

“What about you, Y/N?”

You thought for a second, but couldn’t stop yourself from answering as honestly as you could.

“Wonderful people.”

Ben and you exchanged a tender smile.

You were both resting your arms on the armrests of your chairs, and Ben used your proximity to brush his pinky finger against yours, ever so slightly, so no one in the room would notice.

The gesture was there though, tender and intimate, and you grinned at each other. Ben was blushing fiercely again.

“How nice!” commented the journalist.

“See? Told you. She’s amazing,” Ben nodded, making you roll your eyes.

“You have such an amazing chemistry on screen. I think it’s one of the biggest charms about this film, to be honest. And it must be hard to navigate through a love story between two characters. How did you manage that? How did you establish this connection?”

Ben cleared his throat and you saw him looking up at the ceiling, looking for a lie.

After all, he couldn’t answer with the truth. He couldn’t answer with: well, we both genuinely fell in love with each other off-screen, so it wasn’t hard to pretend to be madly in love on-screen. No, that couldn’t work…

You wanted to help him, find your own answer, but you were quite taken aback by the question as well. You were thinking about all these long evenings spent together in his apartment, drinking tea, or sometimes whiskey, and talking for hours and hours; failing to notice that the night was flying by. All those mornings laughing with him in make-up. Listening to his sweet voice as he sang on his piano during the weekend. The long walks on Sunday afternoons. And this feeling that kept on growing and growing, but you couldn’t possibly imagine that he felt the same…

And then, the comments of your friends about the two of you. The fact that you had become so close so quickly, that you wanted to spend so much time with him, that you didn’t think about dating anymore. The realization that struck you like a punch in the stomach that you were not having a mere crush, but were falling desperately, hopelessly, irrevocably in love with your co-star. The doubts, the long days spent thinking that he could never feel the same.

Until that Sunday afternoon when he sang this bloody song he had written, and you sat next to him while he played on his piano and… you just couldn’t stop yourself.

Your first kiss. It tasted like sunlight, tea and soft music.

You were brought back to the real world when Ben finally spoke.

“We talked a lot about the most intimate scenes, and the most emotional scenes too. Huh… we… we really wanted to be on the same page, and to be sure that we were both comfortable and able to express in the best way what our characters were feeling. And I think that level of understanding was very important. And… you know just… trusting each other. Huh… and then we simply became very good friends so it made everything pretty easy.”

You couldn’t refrain your tender smile as you stared at him while he spoke. You drank every word. You studied his dark hair you loved messing up with your fingers so much, his short beard you adored against your skin, the angle of his jaw, the corner of these lips you wanted to kiss all the damn time…

You shook yourself, trying to pay attention to the interview again.

“Alright a few fun questions now,” the interviewer said, a smile on her lips. “I’ll ask you some questions and you have to answer with the first thing that comes to your minds, at the same time, on the count of three. Sounds good for you?”

“Sure, sounds fun,” you answered, smiling as well.

“Alright. Tea or coffee? One, two, three…”

“Tea.”

“Coffee.”

You rolled your eyes at Ben’s answer, and he did the same because of you.

“That bloody, tasteless hot water,” you complained.

“I love coffee too.”

“But you prefer tea.”

“I do prefer tea.”

“Very cliché for a Brit.”

“True… I’m not going to try to deny that.”

The two of you exchanged a teasing smile, before focusing on the journalist again, waiting for her next question.

“Your favourite thing about each other. One, two, three…”

“His kindness.”

“Her kindness.”

You both gasped at your matching answers.

“You are extremely kind, like… too kind, honestly. Very patient as well,” you nodded, and Ben was grinning at your words.

It was the kind of radiant smiles that were almost blinding.

“You are way too sweet. And just so… so genuinely nice. In the best way,” Ben added, his grin turning into something softer as he stared at you. “You’re always trying to make sure everyone around you is happy and well. You have a very generous soul. I love that about you.”

“Aww…” you couldn’t help it when you reached for his hand and gave it a tender squeeze.

“Now, what is the thing you dislike the most about each other?” the journalist asked once you were looking at her again. “One, two, three…”

“Nothing.”

“He’s so distracting.”

Ben looked at you in shock while you and the interviewer were laughing so much.

“Wow… I was not expecting that one,” Ben admitted. “I was being so nice to you, I said ‘nothing’! Did you hear that?” he added, turning to the interviewer. “I can’t believe it...”

“You really are so distracting though.”

“I’m very focused when I work,” he argued.

“You have the whole shouting-to-get-into-character thing,” you started, counting on your fingers.

“Oh… yeah… that’s right. I see how that can be quite distracting…” he admitted, and you saw him starting to blush again.

“You’re always in people’s face, or touching me, or hugging me…”

“That’s nice though!”

“It’s nice, but still distracting.”

You raised a third finger.

“And you’re very handsome. It doesn’t help.”

His smile turned tender again, the tips of his ears turning red.

“Thank you, that’s nice.”

“Do you want to change your answer?” the journalist asked Ben with humour.

“I think I’ll say that she’s too honest sometimes.”

You all laughed.

“You never think before speaking,” Ben went on, still laughing. “It’s hilarious.”

“I am hilarious.”

“You truly are. But it gets you into so much trouble sometimes. Do you remember when we were at this restaurant and you thought the couple at the table next to ours were father and daughter?”

You doubled with laughter, hiding your face in your hands.

“That was so embarrassing.”

“You’re so loud…”

“I was tipsy!”

“Drunk. You were full-on drunk.”

“No, I wasn’t! I was very tipsy but I was not drunk.”

“Anyway, you said this so loudly and the look they sent us!”

You were both laughing so much, both of you forgetting all about the interview.

“I just wanted to disappear.”

“You really get us into so much trouble sometimes…”

“But you like it. You would be bored otherwise.”

“Just like I bet you love it when I distract you.”

“That’s quite true.”

You and Ben intertwined your fingers together, holding hands, and Ben brushed tenderly the back of your hand with his thumb. You didn’t think about what the gesture could mean for the rest of the world. You were too busy getting lost in his dark eyes.

The journalist interrupted your thoughts though as she spoke again. You separated your two hands, movements made slow by reluctance.

“What’s the last emoji you sent to the other? One, two, three.”

“Laughing face.”

“Kiss emoji.”

You frowned hard at Ben.

“Your last emoji was a heart, not a laughing f…”

But you saw the look in his eyes and stopped talking.

He was lying on purpose… shoot…

“Yes, you’re right, it was a laughing face,” you lied, but you were pretty certain that you were not convincing.

Ben tried to keep a straight face, but it was difficult.

The interview was (thankfully) over though, so the journalist left, and you bid her a good day with a handshake and a warm smile.

Ben asked for a two-minutes break before welcoming the next interviewer, pretexting that he needed to go to the bathroom, and you followed his lead.

Actually, you found refuge in the deserted staircase of the building, and both exploded with laughter in the empty space, your laughs amplified by their echoes.

“We really need to be more careful, my love,” Ben argued, trying to be more serious again.

“You’re right,” you nodded, letting him wrap his arms around you to draw you closer to him. “I’m sorry.”

“I am not fully innocent either…”

“But that emoji… and I said I sent you a kissing face!”

You buried your face in your hands and rested your forehead against his shoulder. Ben merely laughed.

“I don’t think that was enough to start a rumour about us being together, though,” he reassured you. “But I was right. You really need to learn to think before speaking…”

You swatted him playfully on his upper arm, and he doubled with laughter.

“Now, we should go back. We still have many interviews to give. And no more hand-touching, mister!” you scolded him.

“I can’t help it,” he complained. “Besides, before we go back, I really need to do something first. Something I’ve been dying to do ever since we entered this room, because… you are so beautiful like this, love…”

You gave him a flirtatious smile, knowing perfectly where this conversation was heading.

“And what could that be, honey?”

“This.”

He leaned down to kiss you tenderly on the lips, a hand climbing up your body to rest gently against your cheek, cupping your jaw to guide your face towards his again when you tried to break the kiss. You lost your fingers in his hair, messing with the dark locks, but none of you cared.

Kissing him felt too amazing for you to care about anything but his lips.

“Honey? What are you doing? Hurry up, I want to watch the movie!”

You wore your most annoyed tone, but heard Ben chuckling from the corridor anyway. You couldn’t refrain a smile at the sound, even if you were trying to act like you were annoyed. It was too warm, too reassuring for you to feel anything but happy whenever you heard his laughter.

You rearranged the covers of Ben’s bed, waiting patiently for him to finally join you so you could start watching a cute romantic comedy you had found on Netflix. But he seemed to be taking forever…

He finally appeared, wearing nothing but a pair of dark boxers, and you couldn’t help it when you let your gaze roam the length of his body. His hair was dishevelled from the shower he had taken after dinner, and you loved it. He was staring at his phone as he walked in the room, but looked up to catch the sight of you lying there, cosy and warm in his bed.

Best sight on Earth, he reckoned…

He slipped in the bed with you, and you greeted him with a grin and a peck on the lips. But you frowned as he focused on his phone again.

“Is everything alright?” you asked, snuggling in his side as he raised his arm for you to settle in his embrace.

“Yeah, just… was checking on some comments on a couple of interviews we did together the other day, you remember?”

“When it was just the two of us?”

Ben nodded, eyes still fixed on his screen.

His hand was drawing mindless patterns across the small of your back. It was comforting, soothing… it reminded you that he truly was there, by your side.

It had been a few weeks now since you had recorded these interviews, but of course you remembered. It had been proper torture to seat next to Ben all day without being able to touch him, to speak your mind, to remind him that you loved him…

“Sure, what about them?” you asked dropping a kiss on his chest, and you smirked at the sight of the smile that formed on his lips under your touch.

“Well… a couple of friends have warned me that some comments are… quite… accurate…”

You frowned hard, leaning closer to look at his phone, and he turned the screen in your direction so you could read the comments too.

Your eyes grew round.

I bet Ben and Y/N are more than friends… have you seen that chemistry?

The way Ben just gawked at Y/N for two full minutes, not listening to anything she or the interviewer said, is a big mood. Also, they’re in love.

Lol, when they held hands at 6:30, I’m dead, thx!

Not the type to start rumours but… are these two together? Like… irl?! Because they seem like a real couple trying their absolute best to hide how infatuated they are with each other… and failing.

Ben and you exchanged a glance.

“Oh…” you breathed.

“I think we… have blown our cover, love,” Ben joked.

You were afraid he would be mad, but he seemed amused by the situation, more than anything else…

“You’re not panicking? Or annoyed? Or angry?” you carefully asked.

He noticed your wary tone, and looked down at you, before dropping a kiss in your hair.

“No, I don’t care, to be honest.”

“I thought we had decided to keep all this a secret.”

“Yes, well… I don’t mind. I love you, that’s all that matters.”

You tightened your hold on him, making him chuckle.

“I love you too,” you whispered against the skin of his neck, closing your eyes as you deeply breathed in the sugary scents of his soap and shampoo.

“Do you mind terribly that everyone is figuring things out about us?” he asked, and this time he was the one wearing a cautious tone.

“Not really, actually. I thought it would stress me out, but I don’t really care.”

You exchanged a loving smile, and he brushed his nose and his cheek against your forehead, making you heave a content sigh.

“By the way… I want to watch these two full minutes where you are… how did they say that? Oh, yes… gawking at me,” you teased him, a cheeky grin on your lips, while he exploded with laughter.

“I’ve watched it,” he confessed, his eyes tightly closed and his head thrown back in embarrassment, trying to hide from you, but you could still see that he was fiercely blushing. “I’ve watched it and I can’t believe I’ve stared at you like that in public…”

“Is it that bad?”

“Yes, it is.”

“You’re so sweet… so cheesy…”

“Oh, shut up!” he grumbled, making you laugh.

“I want to watch it, give me your phone.”

“Absolutely not!” he protested, extending his arm so the device would remain out of reach.

“Ben! Give it to me!”

“No!”

“I can also just use my own phone…”

“No… no…”

He grabbed you by the waist when you reached for your phone on your bedside table, pulling you towards him and making you both fall on the mattress.

You were both laughing so much by now.

“No! Don’t watch it!”

“If you start tickling me, I swear to God, you will soon be a dead man…”

“I’ll find another way to distract you, that’s alright…”

“Stop kissing me like that…”

“Really? You want me to stop?”

“No… not really…”

“Hmmm… thought so… Y/N!”

“I got the phone! When is it? WHEN IS IT?”

“NOOOO!”

Ben kept on attacking you with waves of kisses and tickles, but you held his phone in hostage, and he ended up losing the war, as you watched the full video together. He expected you to laugh at him, but you didn’t. You simply kissed him hard and tender on the lips, and snuggled into his arms.

It was a happy evening, in a life full of love…

#ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes fanfic #ben barnes oneshot #ben barnes imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #writing

[pinchofhoney]

yellow lights

gif is not mine, credit to the owner

ben barnes x fem!reader

word count: 2.9k

warning: language, anger, stupid behaviors, angst with a happy end!

summary: Recently, Ben has been burdened with an excessive workload. Despite appearing tired and agitated, he attempted to conceal his feelings. Due to his busy schedule, he could not even take a day off. What will occur when, after a challenging day at work, he returns home and a trivial question leads to an argument that would not typically happen?

a/n: this little piece of my work was my first request ever, so i’m pretty excited to share this with you!! i hope that the level of drama is high enough, @wolfmoonmusic​ hahah. i’d also like to tell you from this place that my mailbox is open and if you want, write freely with your requests<33 the only thing i do not write is smut! (english is not my first language, i apologize for any mistakes in advance). the longer fragment in italics is a flashback!!

You were sitting in the kitchen, at a small table, holding a mug of steaming hot tea between your hands. The watch on the oven pointed quarter to midnight. You sighed quietly and looked around helplessly at the cozy kitchen shrouded in twilight. The only source of light in the room was a small lamp over the kitchen stove. Before leaving on set this morning, Ben promised you that he would come home earlier this time. Just as he did for the last five days, but not once did he manage to keep his word. The last two months have been tough. You hardly saw Ben at all, you passed each other all the time. Filming schedules, interviews, conventions and other press conferences were constantly getting in your way. Even in his free time, Ben was so overtired by meetings with hundreds of people that he preferred to spend hours alone at the piano writing new songs rather than with you. Your birthday was coming up, and you hoped that at least on that one day you would have Ben all to yourself. You ran your hand over your tired face and then pulled yourself up from the chair. I won't sit here like this, you thought. You weren't even sure if Ben would show up at home yet today. You took your phone out of your bathrobe pocket and looked at the way too bright screen, but saw no notification. You reached for the light switch and then went to the upstairs bedroom, being careful not to spill tea on yourself or the floor.

You have been dating Ben for over a year. Every day at this man's side was wonderful and you were grateful for every moment you could spend with him. You met by accident. Literally, by accident. And the whole situation looked like it was taken straight from some romantic book or movie. You thought that in real life such things are unlikely to happen, but it's safe to say that you had an (un)lucky day.

You met in a moderately crowded cafe on the city's outskirts. Met? A better choice of word would be "crashed". Literally. You bumped into him with all the istrenght you could possibly have, because by the fact that you were craving your morning coffee, you were late for the job interview you so desperately wanted. You wanted that coffee, so you had it. At least at first, because after you bumped into the tall stranger, the coffee was everywhere but your paper cup held in your hand. You stood shocked in the middle of the cafe, looking at the dark drink flowing from the man's bright sweatshirt. You closed your eyes, lowering your head and biting your lower lip, afraid of what view you would find when you looked at your new suit. You heard the stranger say something to you, but you didn't pay the slightest attention to it, because you felt like crying when you saw your stained pants.

“Hey” you finally heard, feeling the man's hand on your wrist. You came to your senses from your inner tragedy with a brief glance at the stranger in front of you, then looked around the cafe. The embarrassment came over you. You felt your cheeks begin to turn red, and just then you lifted your head slightly to get a proper look at the man taller than you.

He was handsome. Very handsome, which made you embarrassed even more. His eyes were so dark you could have sworn they were black, and there was a small mole under one of them, adding to his charm. You thought you had already seen him somewhere, but this wasn't the time for another distraction. There was a bedraggled man standing in front of you, your morning coffee was both on the floor and on your clothes, and besides, you could already say goodbye to your dream job. The dark-eyed man didn't seem to be angry at you, you even had the feeling that, seeing your expression and blushed cheeks, he was amused. You immediately began apologizing, reaching into your canvas cotton bag on your shoulder to find tissues.

“I’m so sorry” you began to repeat over and over again, pulling out tissues with a shaking hand. Again, you knew that the man was saying something to you, but the sound of blood pulsing in your ears and the rush of thoughts kept you from understanding his words.

The moment you reached out your hand with the tissue you were holding toward the stranger's hoodie, he stopped it. “It won't work” he said. “Coffee has already soaked into the fabric” he added, seeing your confused expression.

He excused you for a moment and, being careful not to spread the spilled coffee all over the place, walked over to the front counter and asked for some cloth so that you could clean up the mess. After returning to you, he started wiping the floor, to at which you immediately crouched down next to him, saying that you would take care of it yourself. In response, the man only asked you to move over and dealt with the coffee puddle on his own.

You had a moment to get a better look at the stranger and a wild thought suddenly popped into your head. Wasn't it an actor from Narnia that you loved so much when you were younger? You immediately shook your head, amused by your idea. What was he supposed to be doing here?

After cleaning up the coffee tragedy, the man offered to buy you another drink, buying one for himself as well, after which you left the cafe in awkward silence.

“I’m sorry…” you said again, stopping in front of the building, looking hesitantly at the black-eyed man.

“Where were you in such a hurry that you didn't even notice me?” he asked, stopping a short distance from you. You awkwardly scratched the back of your head.

“For a job interview I can already forget about” you replied, moving your gaze to your stained clothes.

Your conversation wasn't long, but you could have sworn it was the most awkward conversation of your entire life. On top of that, you couldn't get rid of the thought that the stranger standing in front of you was Prince Caspian. This is not how you imagined meeting Prince Charming as a little girl.

The moment you said goodbye, you felt a huge relief. You wanted to go home as quickly as possible and forget the whole unfortunate incident. Before splitting off to go your separate ways, the man asked you for your phone number so that you could repay him for dousing him with still-hot coffee. You didn't question his idea, even though you should be the one asking for the number, not the other way around.

You were already about to walk away when you stopped again and turned toward him. “What’s your name?” you asked.

“I’m Ben, and you?” he replied with a bright smile.

“Y/N” you returned the warm smile, then waved him off and left as fast as you could.

You were halfway up the stairs when you heard the sound of a key turning in the lock, which brought you out of your thoughts. Ben. Part of you wanted to immediately run out to greet him, but to be honest you were already tired of his constant absence. Despite living under the same roof and sleeping in the same bed, you missed him. It was ridiculous. You weren't even sure when was the last time you had a quiet moment to yourself.

These last two months, you felt like you were standing at a yellow light warning you of potential harm. Telling you to stop. You felt as if your relationship had stuck and you didn't know if you could make another move.

Hearing that Ben had already entered the house, you headed further into the bedroom. After walking into your room, you placed a mug of tea on the bedside table, climbed under the warm quilt and leaned back against the pillows, reaching for a book you had recently started.

You heard Ben hang around the kitchen. You heard him walk up the stairs and go into the bathroom, where, after a while, he turns on the shower and gets under the stream of warm water. Normally you'd love to join him, but not today. You felt that you had distanced yourself from each other.

After several minutes, right when you were finishing the chapter, Ben slightly opened the door peeking inside.

“Aren't you sleeping yet?” he asked in a softened voice and entered the bedroom. You put the book down on the bedside table. He was wearing the Paddington bear pajamas you bought him for Christmas as a joke, and his wet hair was arranged in a lovely disarray. He didn't look like a forty-year-old. He looked like a boy who needs a hug. At the thought of this, your heart flooded with warmth, and your mood got automatically better.

“No, I was waiting for you” you replied, and when the man took the spot next to you, you snuggled up to him right away. You felt his strong arm wrap around your waist and a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

“You smell like strawberries again” he said, sniffing your hair once more. You laughed and got more comfortable so you could listen to his heartbeat.

“How was it at work?” you asked closing your eyes. In response, you heard Ben sigh.

“Terribly, I can't count how many times we had to repeat scenes because someone got the script wrong” Ben began smoothing your back with his fingertips.

“You all are already exhausted… when will you have some time off?”

“Honestly? Have no idea…” he ran his hand over his tired face, pausing longer on the beard. “On top of that, it turned out that someone misinformed us and the red carpet is earlier than it should be”

“What do you mean by earlier?” you moved away from Ben so you could look at him. You propped yourself up on one elbow.

“The first version was that the premiere is happening next month only, so we still have plenty of time for any preparations. It turned out that the premiere is in two weeks. I don't know what kind of moron at the top got the dates so mixed up” he replied annoyed, sighing loudly.

“Two weeks exactly?” you furrowed your eyebrows. “My birthday is in two weeks… I thought we would spend the day together…” you raised to a sitting position. Ben didn't answer for a long time, wandering his eyes at the ceiling.

“I know, love. I thought so too, but I cannot not show up at the premiere when I play the lead character” he hesitantly shifted his gaze to you.

“Can't you take me with you?” with this one question, you felt how the whole still positive atmosphere between you changed instantly.

“We have discussed this topic many times before, Y/N. I'm going to sleep” he said coldly, turning sideways with his back to you. “Turn off the light, good night”

Yes, you talked about it many times, and you still didn't understand why he didn't want to change his mind. Why he didn't want to show you to the world, why he didn't want to publicly announce that he was dating someone. It has always been the same. Instead of taking part in important moments in Ben's life, you spent your time at home, watching him enjoy himself in pictures with his co-actors. Every time he left, you felt like he was simply ashamed of you. Why? Because you weren't popular?

“Why?” you asked, staring at his back.

“What why?” he asked without flinching to look at you.

“Why don't you want to admit that you are dating someone? That this someone is me?”

“Y/N, I've told you a million times why-”

“And I told you that I don't care about losing my privacy” you interrupted him, raising your voice. “I want to be there with you, Ben. I know how important these premieres are to you, and you don't even give me a chance to enjoy them with you” you watched as your boyfriend sat down and brought his gaze to you filled with both tiredness and irritation.

“Y/N-” he began again, but once again you didn't give him a chance to finish the sentence.

“And bloody hell, it's my birthday. Where were you for Christmas? Where were you on your birthday? You certainly weren't here, with me. Lately you've been celebrating everything with your work friends, and it's perfectly okay if you prefer to spend important dates with them… But I want you to spend my day with me”

“You knew what you were getting into by agreeing to this fucking relationship” he said, getting out of bed. Seeing that you were going to interrupt him again, he pointed a finger at you. “Stop it. Life doesn't look like in the movies, Y/N. Surprise!” he said more loudly with feigned enthusiasm. After a moment, however, he returned to an indifferent expression on his face, driving his dark gaze into you. “You know I just can't suddenly say sorry, I have to go home because my girlfriend would like to spend my birthday with me. We can celebrate them on any other day! It's not that important!”

“Only problem is that lately we don't spend time with each other at all, because once you're home you'd rather sit at the damn piano than with me!”

“That damn piano at least doesn't say bullshit like you” he snarled and immediately left the bedroom.

You heard him coming down the stairs, but after a while nothing came to you anymore. You stared in stupor at the spot where Ben was standing just a moment ago. What did he say? This exchange of words seemed so absurd to you that you didn't even know how to react. You could have navigated the conversation differently. You didn't have to argue. You could have simply nodded at the premiere announcement and kept silent about your disappointment. Did he suggest that you are annoying that's why he prefers to spend his spare time at the piano? You moved your eyes to the bedroom door, frowning your eyebrows at the same time.

It took a few minutes before you decided to get out of bed. With your head full of chaotic thoughts, you left the bedroom and went down the stairs to look for Ben. The entire downstairs was plunged into darkness. You thought he might have left the house, but after all, you didn't hear him do it. Besides, he was wearing teddy bear pajamas, he couldn't have left like that. Finally, you heard a quiet sniff coming from the living room. With furrowed brows, you entered the room, being careful not to bump into any furniture.

“Ben?” you asked in a lowered voice, but received no answer. You reached your hand to the light switch, located on your right on the wall, and turned it on. You noticed Ben sitting by the piano, playing with his hands with his hair falling over his face. He didn't raise his eyes at you. “Ben” you repeated a little louder, approaching him. As soon as you were next to him he raised his head and you noticed his eyes reddened from crying.

“I'm tired” he said in a breaking voice. “Sorry, I didn't mean to say such things… it's totally not true, love” Ben straightened up, looking at you. You took another step, standing between his legs, and took his face in your hands, rubbing the wet mark on his cheek with your thumb.

“I know, it’s okay” you tried to sound warm, but somewhere in the back of your head you still heard the words for which he had just apologized. Ben cuddled up to you, resting his head on your stomach because of the low level he was sitting on. “I shouldn't bring up this topic”

“I'll take you with me to this premiere. I'll introduce you to the whole world and be proud of you. And later we'll go to your birthday party. I'll organize it, take care of everything. Just be there with me” he said when you started petting his hair. “But tell me, are you sure about this? Are you sure you can handle it if people poke their noses into your private life because of me?” he asked, pulling his head up so he could look up to you.

“I am, Ben. One hundred percent sure” you began to smile, unable to believe that you will finally appear at the event you have always silently dreamed of. By the side of your boyfriend. You bent down to kiss him, while he began to stand up to finally change the height difference between you.

“I love you, I'm sorry for the earlier situation…” he assured once again stroking your cheek with his thumb.

#ben barnes #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes fluff #ben barnes angst #x reader #angs #fluff

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝐿𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐿𝑒𝑔𝑜 𝑃𝑖𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑠

A/N: I feel like this sucks but it would still do, I hope yall like it! This is also like the story of how director!reader and Ben got together in my "Shadow and Bone Chronicles AU" but could still be read seperately.

Taggings: @augustwithquills @idohknow @bloody-mf-bsc

Today will be hard, was his first thought when Ben woke up and started getting ready for the "hangout" you planned. It had been a long time since you two actually talked yet alone go to a place together. Between presses and shooting, the only form of communication between you two was texting and occasionally video calling.

And even they weren't able to fully ease his painfully beating heart.

He had stopped seeing a friend in you a long time ago. To him, it was way past that point. With your childish side coming out with him, showing your love through your sarcasm and bullying which made everyone laugh as he flushed, trusting him so much to the point you slept in his house whenever it became late, and how you always magically knew something was wrong with him and offered everything possible just to see him crack a smile...

It was the little things, the way you silently cared for him and did little things that made him fall for you.

Hard.

He paced around his room as he looked for his outfit, anxiously looking at his reflection in the mirror. Did he look fine? He wasn't too much, was he? Was he underdressed? He should have asked what you were going to wear-

"You aren't turning back to your anxious and weirdly worried self, are you?"

Jack's voice shook him from the deep turmoil he was close to putting himself in as Ben looked at him with an annoyed yet affectionate look at his brother who was leaning over his door. "What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you don't overthink." He huffed out a laugh as Ben grabbed his phone and wallet and brushed past him, letting out a laugh as his brother swatted his back and followed him. Being back at his parents' house, alongside his brother, had been the best decision he had ever made. Between shooting, going on stages to sing and doing press, he was exhausted and he rewarded himself with a month of full rest and just being Ben.

Not Ben Barnes, the actor the world knew.

He smiled softly to himself as he got out of the house, almost with a skip to his steps and trekked towards where you would be waiting for him. Though the sunny weather eased his mind and brought warmth in him, there was this... Disturbing ache and beating of his heart.

And the voice that always told him something was wrong, even in his best days.

Good guys never get the girl, don't get your hopes up...

That thought suddenly made him halt, close his eyes thightly and continue walking. His heart felt heavy at that unspoken fact, squeezing and contrasting painfully. That was something he was used to experience, it always happened to him anyways, leaving hım heartbroken.

And he really didn't understand why women tended to go after men, rather boys, that could never treat them right.

But deep down, all this worry and negative voice was because of... His feelings for you.

He wanted to confess, to tell you that he liked you for a long time now, wanted to wrap his arms around you as he inhaled your smell and savored your warmth and love. He wanted to sway you to a song only you two heard, cook with you and then perhaps throw flour at each other like in those cliche romcoms.

He wanted to tell you about his day, talk to you, call you freely without worrying about anything, call you sweet names, share his life with you and talk about it as you both laid on your beds, crack jokes to make you laugh as he would bask in the sound of its melody...

Yes, he was a hopeless romantic but it had always been like that anyways.

He was just good at hiding those intentions behind care and flirting. But it was perhaps obvious in the way that he had been acting, that he was searching for a commitment and serious love, that he thought about settling down with the woman of his life.

But could he really do that? He didn't even know if you felt the same, would it really be worth risking your friendship? Besides, there were other things to worry about as well. He wouldn't be there all the time for you and you for him even if he wanted, and you two would have to rely on the net while missing each other... And perhaps, you would get tired of him and this constant time of being away, want to find someone who could actually take time for you and give you everything you deserved and made you happy-

But just as when his thoughts started to slightly overwhelm him, he heard your voice steadily coming closer to where he was waiting for you... Alongside with the hard "pat!" sounds your shoes made against the pavement.

"Hello,Ben! I'm sorry I was late, I had to run here..." You panted and came to a stop when you reached his figure that was looking at you with worry as he helped you straighten up. His hand rubbed your back and he widened his eyes at how hard and fast your heart was beating, so much so that he could feel it through layers of clothes and skin.

"But why did you run, Y/N? Your heart beats like crazy, let's sit down a bit-"

"Because you were waiting... I didn't want to make you wait."

And it always does that flips whenever I'm near anyway

He widened his eyes at what you said, and couldn't help but let his heart make those flips too as he slightly blushed. You panted harshly to get more air into your lungs after running for 15 minutes straight. It wasn't your fault that the bus you took broke down in the middle of the road, but perhaps remembering sometimes, that you were also a famous who had her own car would help.

"So... Let me give a big hug to my favourite actor and friend! You were so good as the Darkling and excuse you, how dare you make me like him..." You got up with a wide smile, arms wide open as you rambled about his latest work and gushed out because God knew what those costumes and raspy voice of his did to you. This was perhaps the most futile attempt you had ever done, trying to conceal your feelings for the kind man before you.

You always knew Ben was handsome, charming and everything a woman could ever want in a man. He was kind, generous, cute and excited like a puppy most of the time and they were all the reasons you fell for him.

A grave mistake on your end, because he could never like you in that way. Why would he, when he could have anyone, when there were many who wanted him?

But as you gushed and buried your apparent affections for the man before you, you didn't realize how his smile slightly faltered and dropped, his eyes casting down with thight and pained lips as he bit them, hands thightening inside his pocket.

Of course, you didn't see him that way...

Against all odds, Ben let himself believe that Jack and pretty much everyone was right about his feelings and that you returned them.

What a fool he could be...

Maybe he was supposed to be more direct? Like a dinner date and not a hang out? But yet again, you were the one who prepared this and specifically called it a "hangout", not a date.

If he was in his house, he was sure he would have thrown a book or two at the wall angrily and eat himself up as he sat on his couch.

Contrary to what people believed hım to be, an effortless flirt, he wasn't. Not when it came to genuine feelings he had been harbouring for such a long time. He had dated before, obviously, and though he used to felt a spark to the women he dated... All of them went away after some time. He never felt that dizzying feeling whenever he was near them, or wanted to spend every waking hour with them, to know and listen to how they are, to be there for them in any way possible and shoulder their weights like it was his own...

He never felt that desperate for a girl before and this enough told him that his feelings were going to get even deeper as more time passes, and not go away.

Besides, he wouldn't be able to do so for so long since you always found a way to be there for him and surprise him, making it near impossible to stay away from you as he would always grin widely in response.

Such as his birthday, when you suddenly appeared from inside the box with a huge cake between your hands, obviously getting into it with the help of his castmates even if you were "supposed" to be working away from him but came here just for him anyways, a decision he had come to realize that brought tears to his eyes and squeezed at his chest.

You were effortlessly kind and considerate, and he really wanted to be mad at you for making hım feel like that, be vulnerable at your presence so much but he also knew that you had nothing to do with the way his heart felt about you and your stupid smile.

And he can't, he just can't hate you, be mad at you. He is rather mad at himself, for not listening to his friends who always said good guys never win, he is mad at himself for imagining things, dreaming of you and him together so much that he thought they could come true.

But what if...

He was about to cry tears of frustration every time he backed away from letting his intrusive thoughts win and just scoop you in a bear hug, kissing all over your face.

Such as right now, as you were trying to pinch his cheeks cutely, unaware of what you were doing to the poor man who was sure to smoke at this point.

"you are cute whenever you have that look on your face..." You giggled at his pouting and crimson face as he tried to cover it up by coughing and offered you his arm as you both walked together silently, acting like having you pressed to his body wasn't affecting him, making him almost loose his balance with tripping on his own feet.

As your eyes were glued to the road ahead of you, you didn't realize his focused gaze on you while he looked at your face secretly. There were eyebags under your eyes, something you were insecure about it sometimes but he found them adorable.

Especially when you smiled and alongside your cheeks, they made your eyes almost disappear by how big of a smile you had.

You got more skinny, perhaps a result of working too much. He knew your tandency of overworking yourself and forgetting to eat, since he had to force you eat many times as you would blush and admit your mistake with cheeks full of his food.

But there were some pleasant changes with you too. First, your hair which was a different color that suited you better and they framed your face perfectly. Then the change in style came too. You always used to dress more comfortable and sporty, refusing to show your curves or skin even though many complimented you when you showed them...

And now... you were more confident with everything about you and he couldn't be happier at seeing you love your own body.

He didn't actually know if that was a good change because many people were already looking at you up and down with eyes that definetly wasn't friendly which made his blood boil inside him...

And as you dragged him to the Lego shop, he knew that he would still have all of you and fight whoever dared to wipe that wide smile on your pretty face.

"Please, please, please! Look, I'm telling you, this one is expensive, I'm not gonna lie." You stopped Ben from saying anything with defensive hands to his way, standing behind the huge Hogwart's building lego set and made your best impression of puppy eyes, begging him while he was looking at you with teasing eyes, lips drawn up softly as he eyed the many items behind you.

As soon as you both entered, you disappeared from Ben's sight and he was left shocked behind you as he ran after you, wondering how you could be that fast. He chuckled under his breath at your excitement and it soon turned to full laughter when he found you looking at the lego set with heart eyes, with your hand clasped together and he had to refrain from buying it.

He coughed once, twice to cover his flushed cheeks and tried to make the best impression of being serious.

"Don't you think It's a bit expensive?" His eyes softened when you pouted and turned to look at the price tag, and he already knew that he would buy whatever it is that you wanted to have just to have your smile.

"But... We can split? This one is soooo big anyways, and I don't have enough room in my home." You laughed giddily, trying your chances with him as you showed how big it was like a child being asked how much do you love me and Ben smiled at you, standing next to you as he took a look at the box. He had to admit, that one looked... Way too good to not to buy, just like you insisted.

But he has to be stern! He wasn't as much of a simp as his brother and pretty much everyone pointed hım out to be!

"Don't you already have enough Lego sets in your house, love?" He turned his eyes to you, not realizing the sweet nickname that passed his lips as you blushed and stared at his soft and kind dark brown eyes with a stuttered breath. He leant over to you with his hot breath over your face, his stubbled and handsome face making your heart flip as the way he thightened his jaw sent you in a frenzy.

Suddenly, the air had gotten hotter and you had to fan yourself and take a step back from him before you did something you might regret later... Like jumping on him right there and there.

"I do? My mom keeps telling me to get rid of a few of them, asking how I live in there.... And besides, look! " You took a box that held the Funko POP figure of Sirius Black and showed it to him, in which he playfully raised a brow at, chuckling at your childish side that came out whenever you two hang out together and took the box from you. He already knew that he would buy whatever you wanted as soon as he saw how excited you were but it didn't hurt to tease, right?

"This one is you, in another universe, begging you to buy him~"

you shook it from side to side with a cute pout and came closer to him with small steps, peeking around the tiny corner of the box as he giggled at your antics.

"I haven't played Sirius Black yet, love..." he pointed out as if it was the most obvious thing, but it made you gasp dramatically and look at the box and then at him and back to his amused face with an offended gasp.

"But you ARE the Sirius BLACK?" you raised your brow in the Rock way, giggling when he shoved you away gently and shook his head at you. You were a big Harry Potter fan and openly, very openly indeed, fangirled after Sirius Black at any chance.

There were times he caught you watching edits of Marauders and cry, which he couldn't lie that was cute, and often comforted you.

He had to admit fans had some real talent with making edits that real.

And also, these would be one of those times that you swore you would one day make the Marauders TV series a reality and him as Sirius. He would chuckle and agree, if you ever decide to do that for real, and though he tried not to show his enthusiasm, you knew he was also excited at that idea but didn't tell outright to not put a weight on your shoulders.

Another reason to love him and also make this shit real.

"If you buy me this... Who knows, maybe a big surprise will be waiting for you at home~"

He was a damn almost-40 man, did you really think you could deceive him with such thing?

How old was he? Five?

But...

"Oh? Are you bribing me with a surprise?" He couldn't help but give only one fast glance at what you were holding and... He was so close to caving in, calling it a day and buy whatever you wished to buy.

Life was short, you gotta have fun, right?

Besides, you were using that puppy eyes and please you always cutely did with the battings of your lashes and pout, and he was a complete sucker, weak at the knees for the combination of the two cutest thing on the lovely face of the most adorable person he knew.

"Because it's working!"

You cheered loudly with a clap of your hands and a quick twirl, sprinting to the shelves in a hurry. You seriously thought he was gonna say no, by the hard look on his face and squeezed eyes he often did whenever he either thought about something or was getting ready to refuse an offer.

What can you say? He was a damn good actor, one hell of a kind even.

After you both were finally able to wrap everything up, and you forced him to make lego versions of each other which he was reluctant first but soon found himself making little versions of his friends and family too much to your enjoyment as he had the most gleeful look, you finally pulled him to where you could finally pay for everything.

Even though you had to hold the neck of his sweater and force him, much like a mama cat.

But now, you had to distract him someway because... Well, you forgot that half of the things were actually his birthday surprises, unknowing to him, and you had to pay for them before he did.

"Hey Ben..." He hummed at you when you tugged on his coat and looked down from sideways. His handsome face was full on display, the sharpness of his jaw making your knees turn to jelly momentarily before you pulled yourself together and smiled at his grinning face, eyes twinkling in happiness as a little strand of his hair escaped from the beanie he wore.

"Did you know you can make legos for your animals too?"

"You can?! Why didn't you tell me this before! I'll be quick, just wait a few minutes, okay?" You laughed as he hurriedly got out of the line, all the while sprouting I'm sorry's to the people left and right while momentarily holding their shoulders to not to bump into them harshly.

Another fact about him that was so loveable.

You sighed lovingly after his back, watching him miss the first turn and then flusteredly look at you as he turned back to the right one and smile. You giggled at his silliness and shook your head.

For an adult, he surely didn't act like one.

"Hmm, what a lovely couple you are... It's been so long since seeing two people so in love."

You slowly turned back to see a short, old woman holding her grandson's hand while they too waited in line, all the while smiling kindly and staring knowingly with a mirth of a future-mother-in-law type of way at you.

"Did you," you pointed between you and Ben at a distance coming over to you fast, with a shocked face as he watched you with red cheeks, smiling bashfully at the older woman's soft yet teasing eyes.

Oh, shit... He heard her, oh my God this is so awkward!

"... mean us? Pftt, no ma'am, we aren't dating, we are friends. He is just buying me the gift he couldn't buy."

Even though I wish he was something more...

You waved her off as if it was no big deal, trying and probably failing to conceal your flustered state as if being mistaken as a couple bu ithers didn't make your heart launch at your throat.

The older lady, who came with her grandchildren, only hummed in thought and nodded and you swore you saw the playfulness that came with youth in her eyes for a second. "Well, that young man doesn't look at you like a friend."

And as if she didn't just drop the biggest bomb at you, she took a hold of her grandchildren's hand and let them guide her away in yet another shelf after they left the toys near the cash.

You gazed after the woman with a slacked jaw and couldn't help but think about her words.

What did she meant by "He isn't looking at you like a friend does."?

What do I not see? Had I been... Blinded by my insecurities?

No, that was impossible. Because come on, it was obvious that he had a type in woman and you definetly didn't suit that. Besides, it wasn't like Ben to shy away from confessing or telling you about his feelings so, there was literally no reason for him to hide if he liked you back.

You weren't the Boogeyman, right?

You were silently, and slowly, drowning in these thoughts when a thoughtful-looking Ben came back with three more lego sets for the animals he knew and loved and you couldn't help but worry about him.

"Ben? Are you okay? You were fine like 15 minutes ago..."

"Yes, I am fine... Have you payed for everything?" His eyes slowly drifted towards your hands that was full of the sets, nodding your head at hım as he hummed and went to pay for the other three he got while you were left dumbfounded at his... Sudden lack of excitement.

He was just fine as he went to that shelves, what happened in just 15 minutes I wasn't there?

As you trailed close behind him, since that man was tall and his steps were bigger than yours, Ben was thinking back to what had happened in the store. How that old lady called you "his lover" and how he grinned like a kid being given his favourite toy at a Christmas day. He was beaming with joy inside at seeing other people being able to witness the traces if love in his actions, face and gestures since this, was the kind of man he was.

Proud to show off his loved ones as long as they deemed it okay and safe.

But the bitter pang of you refusing it so blatantly and quickly squeezed his poor heart harshly.

Why did you always look like it was such an absurd think to be seen as his girlfriend?

Before this day, he would have thought that it might have gone as far as disgusting you. But soon, he realized that it was far beyond that after he saw you blushing and loosing track of what you were gonna say or do whenever he leant a bit closer, or hugged you thightly.

Both different from how you used to act with him before.

Yet, he didn't want to get his hopes up only to crush when you rejected... That is, until that lady in the store came and literally knocked some sense to his "thick" head.

That girl is madly in love but doesn't know you also are, even a half-blind old geezer like me can see it!

That was exactly her words.

At first, he tried to go back against her words, telling her how wrong she was... Then he noticed what she said first and now, he was a mess.

What is he supposed to do now?!l

"Hey, Ben? There is actually something I want to talk to you..."

Now, that was the most couregous shit you were about to do in your whole life besides choosing your line of profession and that one time you decided to cross roads without holding your parents' hands.

Ben isn't the kind of man to throw someone aside for such thing, is what you thought as you took deep breaths to calm yourself down and stared at his lips as his nervous eyes found yours. You hated to be the cause of that, especially after such a fun day out, but... If you didn't do this, it would haunt you even in your dreams and regrets would wash over you for the rest of your days.

"Sure, of course... Look, if It's about-" he started with a dejected sigh, full on expecting you to tell him that the idea of being together or anyone entertaining such idea was wrong and stupid.

"I have had feelings for you for a long time!"

Yeah, no he was hearing voices that wasn't actually-Wait, what?

You rushed the words out in one breath, fearing that if you waited even a second, you would loose all your courage. That short time of your adrenaline rush was soon over, and you were left as a jittery mess before his shocked eyes as he tried to understand the situation he suddenly found himself in.

A situation that seemed like it was out of his dreams.

"Y-You... You have what?"

You groaned in embrassment while avoiding looking up, knowing the look of rejection even without doing so.

Oh, only had you done it... You would have seen the bright red face he supported with the cutest, boyish smile ever.

"Look, I know you don't feel the same but do you really have to-"

"Who said I don't?"

This time, it was your turn to become the shocked Pikachu but Ben wasn't done yet.

"This... Do you know how long I've been waiting for this moment?"

Double shocked Pikachu.

Your brain was turned into a putty, short curcuiting every second as it tried to understand what it was hearing. Maybe it was the cold weather? Maybe you brain froze and now was replaying the recent pleasing dream-

"I-I... You have?" You asked with a weak voice, hope lacing every single part of you as your eyes shone with love and expectations. His eyes softened at how fragile you looked, so dependant on what was going to leave his lips. He knew you tried to avoid confrontation as much as possible, especially when you weren't sure about the outcome.

This must be already hard for you to do and here he was, being all silent and staring at you which was probably even more nerve-wracking.

But you just seemed so cute, so adorable with that cute pink over your cheeks all the while looking up to him! He was just dreaming about how soft your cheeks must be, so squishy and warm because of the cool wind-

"Are you gonna say something?" You pouted at his face, still staring at you with a stupid smile as he let out a soft chuckle at your angry face, feet stomping like a bunny.

You didn't understand what was taking hım so long just to form a simple sentence. Yes or no, simple! You were the one who made leap of faith, the one who was close to having a heart attack and he was just grinning, shuffling on his feet excitedly-

"I love you too..."

You laughed out in glee at it, like a kid being given a hefty amount of chocolate and jumped up happily. At moments of pure excitement, humans lost track of what they did and that was exactly what happened as you moved to kiss his cheek but ınstead landed a smooch on the corner of his lips.

You kissed the corner of his lips...

You... Kissed... The corner... Of his mouth...

He slowly covered back from the shock as he watched you, a hand on his lips while disbelief was written all over his face and eyes. The epiphany od the moment nearly blinded him and he was sure his heart literally dropped but was them set aflame wildly.

Upon realizing what you had done,you stood there with your hands still on his chest to balance yourself... But when you came back to your senses, you left the bags between his hands and ran away with flaming cheeks, leaving an utterly bewildered, shocked yet happly in love man in the middle of the pavement as he stared longingly after you, already planning the next 100 dates ahead.

Dinner at Barnes' household was never quiet.

It was walmost tradition at this point, Ben and Jack bickering with each other go the last bite of the meal or one of them talking about their job as the parents listened...

But never in like 40 years that it had been that silent. And Tricia had a very good guess as to why with just one simple glance at her blushing eldest son who very much so resembled the kid he once was.

Tricia, as the observant mother she was, just stared at her eldest son eating... Like a proper human being for the first time with a small smile, and chuckled to herself. Ahh, what love does to people...

Hearing their mother sigh deeply, both Ben and Jack looked at her weirdly as they stopped eating. They stared at each other as if asking what the other did, nudging each other, even if they were literal adults, but in the end, Ben was the only one able to ask her as he gulped down his food.

"Mum, what's wrong?"

"You're in love and didn't tell me."

A snort left Jack as he tried to hold himself back from full on cackling as Ben shot him a look and turned to his mother with slightly blushing cheeks, eyes wide and full of wonder at how she was able to know this.

Did she really have eyes at the back of her head?

He really hoped and tried his best at hiding what just happened to him a few hours ago, even though the blush on his cheeks and the heavy shopping bags full of gifts made it pretty obvious.

"Where... where did you get this idea from?"

But he who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day and Ben wasn't going to make today his last day of peace. Because he knew...

He knew his whole family, down to the very end of both his parents' side, would tease him endlessly for his "obvious" crush on you, especially more than usual if they heard you and him were finally together.

But unforfunately, he was the one getting caught of guard when his mum noncholantly shrugged her shoulders and continued to eat as normal, looking at him above her glasses with a happy grin.

" Because, you finally eat without smacking your lips. Someone finally was able to chip that habit away... Which only a woman would be able to do."

"More specifically... A pretty co-worker of yours who goes by Y/N~"

Ben was left absolutely in shock with his mouth hang open at the way his own mum understood what was going on with him, his raging crush, as Jack choked on his own food and his dad looked between him and his wife with a grin that matched the one as hers. "So, he really grew enough balls to confess?"

"Dad!"

"It seems so, honey. Finally, the days he mops all around has ended!" She enthusiasticly replied him without glancing at her offended yet happy son as they both looked at him happily. After all, they have been rooting for you and him to get together for ages. You were a very kind soul, always offering your help even if you were at the other side of the planet and being Tricia's best gossip partner. She still remembered how you called her and told her your plan to surprise Ben in the middle of his shootings for his brithday and how it had to stay hidden as you prepared everything.

That was when she knew it was you for her son.

If her son hadn't done a move already, she was about to take the matters into her hands just to officially make you family.

But yet again... She was unsure if it was really her son who did it first.

"So... Who confessed first, son?"

"I bet my arse it was her!" Jack yelled out as a blush appeared on Ben's face at remembering what happened before he came back home, how your slightly chapped but still soft lips felt against his own skin,and that was enough to throw them into a frenzy as Jack cheered loudly for him while his father also joined.

But his mother, seeing the embrassment on her eldest's face, tried to shush them. But of course, as the men of the house were quite loud, it was near impossible with being the only female.

Another reason for you to join the family.

"Jack, no cursing at dinner!"

"Okay, I'm out. I don't want to listen to your teasings..." Ben slapped his knees as he got up and walked towards his room in his parents' house, his heart thundering inside his chest as his hand got clammy with anxiety.

He still couldn't believe how today turned out, how you told him you loved him for a while but wasn't sure if it was one-sided or not, that this was actually a date... Which he found absolutely ridiculous because he thought he was being very obvious, and then kissed him as if those words leaving your words weren't already enough for him to be sent into a cardiatic operation.

"Yeah, go and talk with your girlfriend~"

"Jack, stop making fun of your brother!"

But when he went up to his very much so enormous amount of gifts at the corner of his house, not caring about how his family suddenly turned silent as they watched him secretly from the corner, a note attached to the biggest set caught his eye and he softly took it between his hands and couldn't help but tear up at what was written in your handwriting.

Thank you for being exactly who you are and offering me a chance I never imagined that would be mine, something I didn't know I need my whole life... Happy belated birthday, Ben :)

"Oh my God... Is he crying-"

"MUM, BEN IS CRYING BECAUSE OF HIS GIRL!"

And he couldn't help but chuckle when he sat down and looked at the post and later story you shared, reading all the excited and shocked comments, feeling grateful for taking that old woman's suggestion seriously and rolling with it.

Because now, after years of pining, he finally had what he wanted and the voice that whispered to him was now... Silent.

Good guys indeed get the girl in the end, and he got his.

His lego piece.

..

Liked by freddycarter1, blakelively, benbarnes and 5,456,132 others

Y/N Y/L/N: Anything to see this wide smile...Even though it costed more than 10,000 Sterlins

View 453,623 comments

User1: WHEN IS IT GONNA BE MY TIME? BEN BARNES YOU LUCKY-

User5: GIRL WHAT DID YOU BUY?!

Y/N Y/L/N: nothing much really. The Hogwarts Building, 12 Grimmauld Place, Hogwarts Express, Gryffindor House, the Quidditch Trunk and Sirius Black POP Figure... It was the food that costed more.

User5: YOU CALL THIS "NOT SO MUCH"?! GIRL HOW RICH ARE YOU?!

User7: and do you accept any other sugar baby?

User3: guys there is a more important question to ask... Are they together finally? Because there are photos of them being all cute together and kissing sweetly and if that shit is right, I can't breathe...

User7: I say Ben Barnes finally found someone to babygirlify hım😌 as he should be

User7: Hear me out, whoever is reading this between you two, if you prove us that you are fucking together finally... I'll start to sing a song for this specific ship and upload it on Twitter

User6: THE BET IS A BIG ONE, COME ON NOW Y/N WE ONLY EXCEPT ONE SIGN

User12: OMG GUYS CHECK HER STORY RIGHT NOW WE DID IT, OUR SHIP HAS SAILED😭😭🥹 AND DAMN BEN BARNES YOU KNOW HOW HOT YOU ARE IN SWEATERS😭🫦

Y/N Y/L/N added to her story!

#ben barnes x you #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes #shadow and bone imagine

[don-daygamerz]

Long Way For Love

Ben Barnes x Reader

Requested by: @marimorena06

Request: Heyy!What about a friends to lovers with ben Barnes? ❤

Warnings: some swearing (I think), descriptions of intimacy (not smut just major fluff)

Word count: 4.4K

Italics - thoughts

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Love occurs in many ways. It can happen on the brightest days or the stormiest nights. It can happen on purpose or by accident. It can even happen through gain or loss. Love is a powerful and enigmatic feeling. It can either build you or destroy you. But did you know that love can sometimes not happen instantly? Yeah…Love can take its sweet time to even be realized. That’s what this story is about. And it began with a young man and a young woman.

The young man was named Benjamin Thomas Barnes but Ben Barnes in short. Catchy right? (It even made the woman blush just thinking about it) And our young fair maiden who would soon be the object of Ben’s affections was none other than (Name) (Middle name) (Surname). Ben had thought to himself of what a sweet name she had…beautiful, actually. The two first met on the set of ‘The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian’. (Name) was an aspiring actress and had landed the role of Selene, sorceress, and protector of Narnia. The two instantly connected and were a great support to one another.

They immediately became fast friends and were happy to share some interests and acting tips through their experiences. Ben was always happy to share with (Name) their love of literature, the classics, art, music, poetry, and so much more.

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“So you’re telling me you lied about knowing how to horse ride?” (Name) gave him a shocked but inquisitive look after hearing his confession. The man in question became bashful and wanted the couch he was sitting on to swallow him whole. Why did he have to tell the pretty girl he lied about being a pro at horse riding?

“I wouldn’t say I lied…”

“Oh boy…ha ha ha…I’d like to hear this,” (Name) chuckled at her companion. She needed to hear his hilarious excuse as to what made him think he could get away with such a ‘dark’ secret.

“Ok, ok. Shush…Don’t you want to hear the actual truth?” he asked her.

“You’re right. My apologies, your highness. I did not mean to disrespect you in the slightest,” she said to him in her best posh British accent while giving a mock bow. Which was not bad at all. (Name) was not only an aspiring actress but also dabbled in some voice acting. That was one of the things that fascinated Ben. She was so talented.

After her little antic, Ben could not help but playfully roll his eyes at her. “Anyway…As I was saying,” he continued, “I did not exactly lie…exaggerate is more like it…”

“Oh yeah! You sure did exaggerate it! Ha ha! You basically preached it is what I was told when you did the auditions, ha ha ha!” Ben’s face turned red hearing her say this but he couldn’t stop the smile growing on his face. He thought her laugh was cute and funny…wait, did hear a snort?

“Alright, then when was the last time you rode?”

“Umm… Last I rode a horse was when I was little…”

“Little how old?”

“Seven or eight, give or take.”

“Benjamin Barnes! You need proper lessons! My god! You’re lucky you made it this far! What if you got hurt?!” she chided him but out of concern after hearing the rest of his truth. Ben just smiled at how worried she became. (Name) was the nurturing type among the cast members. She deeply cared for every single one of them including him.

“I’m alright now, aren’t I?”

“Luck may be your friend right now but there’s no telling when she’ll turn tail and stab you in the back…Uh, Uh, No. You need thorough practice, Mister.” She began to lecture him sternly. Ben was smart, without a doubt, but he was also stubborn.

“I am practicing.”

“Walks and trots are not enough. There are scenes where we have to ride the horses at a much quicker pace. You have to master the canter and gallops.” She was right. He just felt lost and confused at this point. “But not to worry…there’ll be an instructor and specialist. Including me.”

“You? I didn’t peg you for an equestrian.”

“One thing in life you shouldn’t underestimate is how cartoons can influence a child’s decisions and life choices,” she explained to him animatedly. Ben laughed at her delightful nature as she gave him a cute and innocent answer to how she gained the skill.

“Are you serious? You have to be joking,” he leaned in close while placing his elbows on his lap. Ben sat on the couch alone while (Name) opted to sit crisscross applesauce on the carpeted floor by the coffee table.

“Dead serious, my good sir!” she said haughtily to her dashing co-star as she sipped from her glass of wine. Ben just kept chortling after hearing how his ‘new-found’ friend committed to learning a dangerous and tough skill such as horse riding just from watching a cartoon show.

“And, pray tell what animated television show was it that influenced such a young mind to study a perilous skill that is horse riding? Strangely I have a feeling I know what kind of show it is…” he grinned at her mischievously. Both the actors just loved to rile each other up in fits of laughter and joy. (Name) chuckled under her breath before looking up and dead straight into his eyes.

“It was My Little Pony.”

“My Little Pony! Ha ha yes! Girls in my primary school days loved that show.”

“All girls either dreamed to be an equestrian or a magical horse… for me I think it was both.”

Learning these silly things about his ‘newfound’ friend and co-star felt like an interesting and thrilling adventure. He felt like an explorer having discovered something new and exciting. Ben didn’t take into account how he could connect and share with a person like (Name). He was normally reserved but (Name) allowed him to open himself and be at ease.

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So yeah that’s how it started with the two. (Name) and Ben started off as friends…good friends actually. It was saddening to know that both actors will have to look elsewhere for open roles in upcoming films/tv shows. But that didn’t diminish their hope of losing their friendship nor contact with one another. From there, they made promises to keep in touch and send support anytime, anywhere. Ben was delighted with how things were going for him in the film industry. He had come a long way and studied hard. He began with minor roles and dabbled in music, and finally, his talent and skills were recognized.

As for our lovely (Name)? Things were also looking good for her as well. Her performance (though a minor role she had played) in Narnia astonished viewers…critiques and gave way to more opportunities for the young actress. Busy schedules, signings, interviews, making appearances, promotion of brands, and so on; this was just the beginning for the two rising but underrated stars. Not at all did it dwindle their connection…only made it stronger. All in all, they always made the time to call one another.

At the start, it was a friendship, yes. But it became more personal for the two. Secrets were shared. Families and siblings were introduced. Insecurities were confessed to one another. A lot of meaningful things were made between Ben and (Name). It was obvious to everyone around them including their families that the two were meant to be. The Barnes family adored (Name) for her selfless and kind nature towards their eldest son. And the (Surname) family was grateful to Ben for looking after their daughter in the film industry. The Barnes were also thankful for how she was patient and respectful of their son’s nature.

You know…when (Name) was first introduced to his family, they actually had mistaken her for his girlfriend. Their chemistry was good…really good that it really misguided them into believing that they were dating. But Ben’s mother knew him well. He was deeply infatuated with her. And he didn’t even know it. After a nice hearty meal in the Barnes household, Mrs. Barnes didn’t have to look further through her analytical eyes as she gazed upon her son talking so animatedly with the sweet girl.

From then on, she’d come to the conclusion that this young lady right here sitting before her was meant to be with her son. Another thing to add, the woman wasn’t getting any younger…she wanted some grandbabies.

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Support was given, secrets were shared, jokes were exchanged, and so much more. The friendship grew and strengthened, and it became apparent in the eyes of everyone how Ben and (Name) adored one another. But it became so frustrating how neither one of them took the initiative to confess to one another. Yeah, they liked each other, without a doubt. Okay, that’s a bit of an understatement so let me clarify it, Ben and (Name) genuinely loved each other (secretly and unknowingly).

However, despite the close relationship they held, they still both led different lives and hence went on different paths. (Name) would be occupied in some part of the US for a TV series and Ben would be in another part of the US in a studio working on his movie. All in all, they were busy with their schedules, interviews, and promotions.

In addition, Ben was a dashing and charming fellow so it was no surprise he was not single most of the time. He would date different girls here and there. Some he met through mutual friends and some he worked with. The relationships didn’t last long but (Name) felt she could not compare to these beautiful and striking women that caught her best friend’s eye.

Now she didn’t think less of herself. No, not one bit. She loved herself and all that she was. Her attitude was basically ‘Fuck you! My body, my choice, and besides I doubt you can handle all this!’ Oh yeah, total badass. But the point was she felt she could never fit herself in Ben’s heart. Of course, there would be some insecurities like; Was she not enough? Will she ever be enough? Does he ever see her as beautiful? Do you think he would feel the same way as she did about him?

I guess she would never know. So she lets fear cloud her thoughts and convinces her to bury those feelings deep inside and lock them away. It was better this way, she would tell herself, better to hide than leave with a broken heart and a destroyed friendship.

As for Ben’s case, he was also cooped up with his own schedule and the interviews but he always had something occupying his mind or rather someone. That, someone, was, of course, (Name). Why? Well, he wondered if she was doing okay... if she got the role she was auditioning for... if she got the package he sent her... or if was it too much. He did recall how much she enjoys candy from the UK, so he thought why not send her a box of candy.

His head wasn’t just occupied with her but his heart too. Ben couldn’t ignore how fast his heart was beating at the thought of (Name). Even with all women he has dated in his life, he always compared them to her. She was everything they weren’t. She was everything that he looked for in a woman. She was just everything and he loved it.

Yes, Ben Barnes was deeply infatuated with (Name) (Surname). And that infatuation would remain a secret for… who knows how long. Ben didn’t want to risk the chance of getting rejected and losing their friendship altogether. He couldn’t imagine losing her. He would not dare be reckless with his feelings either. But deep down… Ben wishes (Name) would one day return his feelings, so, in the meantime, he’ll just keep it all inside whilst he cherished his time with (Name) as being her best friend.

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One of the many things both the actors shared their love and joy in, was celebrating the holidays. Sure at first, these special occasions would be celebrated with close loved ones such as their families and long-time childhood friends. But it had gotten to a point in their lives that their friendship became…how to describe it…wholesome? Amazing? Fun? No, it was UNIQUE.

Ben and (Name) may have had their own circles of friends and companions but when it came to just the two of them…Things were just different really. But in a good way. And with how their friendship felt ‘unique’, many of their cherished moments included sharing some of the holidays.

It was late December but only one day before Christmas Eve. The sky was dim and cloudy as a shower of snowflakes descended upon the white blankets that covered mother earth. Our beloved (Name) (Surname) was currently settled in Ben’s humble abode and getting comfortable in the kitchen. Earlier, the young lad had received word that his old friend, (Name), was in his area and without a moment to lose nor a chance to forgo, called the actress to come over and celebrate the holiday with him.

Well, actually in truth, it may have slipped out as they were catching up over the phone. It started off as a light conversation. (Name) had come to England very early December to visit her cousin and attend an engagement party. During their chat, Ben had thought to himself of how it would be wonderful if she spent the winter holiday with him for the first time. What he hadn’t realized then was that he had voiced out his own thought. Of course, (Name) heard him. She said yes after all. What neither could tell as they spoke on the phone was how Ben was so flushed and red in the face, and how (Name) could not stop smiling to the point her cheeks hurt.

The two were filled with giddiness and glee at the prospect of spending this merry occasion with one another.

(Name) had taken up the duty of baking and was now occupied with rolling the cinnamon-sprinkled dough while mischievous and quite secretive Ben was trying to be sneaky in licking the sugary frosting. He was excited to finally eat some of his friend’s food once again. It was always a treat for him when (Name) pulled out her cooking skills and introduced her ethnic foods to him. It was actually both a treat and a learning experience for him.  

A fond memory to look back on was the first time they cooked together 9It was the first time (Name) had been to his home. She was so flustered that day but happy nonetheless that Ben was opening himself to her. It made their friendship so genuine). (Name) had quite the adorable shocked look on her face when she realized her British BFF did not always season his food properly. Well, he did. Just only salt and pepper. And if he felt like going crazy then a dash of paprika.

“Seriously? That’s a dash? More like dandruff,” she had teased him but he would pipe back saying, “I can’t help it! Don’t judge me!”

“You’re lucky you have me at your side, you uncultured Brit. That palate of yours needs some awakening. You, my handsome fellow need to have a taste of flavor!”

“You think I’m handsome?” he smirked at her which made her blush profusely.

“Ah-ah don’t change the subject! I’m here to teach you and you will thank me in the future.” Nice save, (Name), way to draw his attention away from that compliment you blurted out.

Then again, now that she looked at him closely. Ben was really handsome. He had such an adorable, infectious smile, dark alluring eyes, smooth luscious hair (which she envied so much, I mean have you seen his hair?!), and those lips…so pink, so soft, and kissable- ‘What the hell is wrong with me?! I can’t have these kinds of thoughts about my best friend! Not even, Ben!’

(Name) never saw Ben for his looks but for his personality. She found him to be kind, brilliant, humble, compassionate, caring, genuine, and… gosh, she could go on and on about the great things she sees in him. In the end, (Name) could not deny the truth…and the truth was that she was falling harder for the young actor, day by day.

“You feeling alright, love?” Ben interrupted her train of thought. Seems like she was spaced out there as her mind walked through memory lane. Now back to the present, (Name) looked back to the man that held her heart without his knowledge, and… Wait a second! Is that white frosting at the corner of his lip?! All of a sudden, (Name) boldly swiped her thumb at the corner of his lips picking the bit of frosting and bringing it into his line of sight to playfully reprimand him for his actions.

This caught Ben off guard and brought sweet chills down his back when (Name) touched him briefly. But then his eyes saw how she grumpily looked at him like he was a wanted criminal. God, did she look so adorable. He almost laughed at how she pouted so cutely like an angry chipmunk.

“Ha ha, you caught me,” he told her with hands slightly raised in surrender.

“Mhm, seriously, Barnes. What am I going to do with you?” she questioned him.

“Love me unconditionally? Cuz I think we’re low on frosting…” he trailed off nervously with a mischievous grin on his face that showed no regret in his actions. (Name)’s eyes widened slightly and looked to the bowl that held the concoction of her grandmother’s frosting.

“Ooh you dang little Brit…” she then dabbed her frosting coating thumb on his nose which made him chuckle at her reaction. “Oh well, I wouldn’t say little…” Ben replied naughtily going off perversely which made the woman blush at the thought of it which made the man chortle at her embarrassed reaction.

“Oh-Oh-you… You know what, out! Out! I need to finish this before your parents come over!”

“Are you seriously kicking me out of my kitchen?!” he laughed.

“Yes, yes I am! Because somebody keeps eating the ingredients!”

Ben just kept laughing as he let her push him out through the kitchen door but then paused as he looked up. “Oh look, mistletoe,” he pointed out. This caused (Name) to halt her movements and look up as well. And indeed, there was a mistletoe hanging at the entrance of the kitchen door. Huh, how did she miss that? Suddenly there was a stillness in the air as they both had come to the realization of what being under the mistletoe meant.

Ben’s thoughts of kissing (Name) right there and now but the risk of ruining the friendship and making things awkward between the two caused him to reel in the chance of doing so. He deeply cared for her and he would never dare try to drive her away nor scare her because he held feelings for her. He turned his body towards her and saw her staring at the mistletoe in deep thought and wonder.

She looked back at him and immediately their eyes connected. And suddenly, the world around them began to disappear and it was just them and them alone. It felt like being in a foggy dream. Ben and (Name) stood before each other staring at each other for long until Ben spoke, “Shou-should we… you know...” he barely formed his sentence but (Name) was quick to understand what he meant.

Hold on! Did Ben perhaps gesture that they commit the mistletoe tradition?! Was he serious?! So many thoughts ran through the woman’s mind. “I-I mean… It is tradition… I-If that’s what you want…” she herself found it hard to speak as well. Here she was, in front of the man that held her heart and the way he was looking at her... His face and expression held such a soft, sweet, loving, captivated look.

They coincidently held a reoccurring thought… ‘If I do this… there’s no turning back.’ Their faces then leaned in closer till they could feel each other’s warm breaths and signature perfumes. Ben smelt sweet yet woody whilst (Name) smelt fruity and fresh. Not too long did their lips collide and a passionate feeling burst between the two.

As their lips touched, they went back to recall all of their relationships and past experiences of kissing other people… none of them could compare to what they were doing. Ben felt so happy right then and there that he pushed himself to kiss the girl he’s always dreamed about and (Name) felt other bliss being in Ben’s arms as his lips caressed hers. He was tender yet passionate. The two had to pull away to regain oxygen and finally face the reality of the situation they put themselves in. As they pulled away from one another, Ben still kept his arms around (Name) while she had hers around his neck.

It had dawned on them that their kiss was so… real and intimate that their bodies were brought closer till they were intertwined. Ben began to smile and chuckled which confused (Name) and at the same time scared her into thinking Ben was playing for her fool but what he said next changed everything.

“I- I’m not going to lie and say that wasn’t the best I’ve had since ever…I-I don’t regret what I’ve done, (Name), I don’t,” he confessed to her seriously. She began to pipe in but Ben placed his finger on her lips to give him a moment to finish what he started. “Let me explain, please…” She nodded back and let him continue.

“I don’t regret kissing you, (Name). Not one bit. In fact, I’ve been dreaming since the moment I met you to kiss you… but not what we did back when we filmed Narnia… but out here… in real life… I’ve always held feelings for you, for so long. Too long, actually. I love the way smile, the way you laugh and cry at cat videos…”

That last bit made (Name) giggle for it was true. She both loved and nurtured felines. Ben smiled at her reaction and it gave him the boost of confidence to further his confession.

“…I love how spontaneous you are, how smart… and talented you are, it’s amazing what you’re really capable of, and I really admire that about you… I am in love with you, (Name) (Surname).” He finally said the last part he craved to tell her for years throughout their friendship yet it came out shakily as he feared her reaction to his confession.

But wait…was she…smiling at him and…were those tears?! Oh no! Did Ben screw up their friendship?!

“Ha ha… oh Ben… and here I thought I was the only fool in love with their best friend…” she cried happily to him. Ben let out a huge breath of relief. He smiled through his own tears back at her as he cupped her face to wipe off her tears that trailed down her cheeks. She was too beautiful to cry even though they were happy tears.

“I love you, Ben Barnes. Always have, haha. My god, it’s really happening! I love the way your eyes light up when you- when you’re happy, I love the way you laugh, I love you’re enviously but beautiful hair… God! For a man that uses one product for every part of his body, he still looks good!”

Ben began to laugh uncontrollably at her comment about his hair. (Name) would sometimes mention how it was unfair that men would only have to rely on one product to apply on all parts of the body and yet come out smoother than a baby’s bottom.

“…what it’s true! Anyway, where was I… ah yes, the hair. Love your hair, I also love your passion for music, in fact, I love how you sing Ben…”

Now, this caught him off guard. Ben had been open to her about his dream to one day release his own music but he didn’t think (Name) believed in him.

“You are so talented, so smart, so authentic, so… you’re amazing Ben. I wish you would see yourself the way I see you… And that’s why I love you,” she gave her confession.

Ben was left awestruck by her words and just like always she always left him speechless. “It took us a long time to tell this to each other…” he said to her breathlessly.

“Years of agony of loving in the dark and the fear of rejection… it’s over… I can finally show you my affections in the open, right?” she asked him.

Ben tucked in a stray strand of her luscious locks that smelled of lavender before looking deep into her eyes, “No more hiding. It’s all out in the open.”

“So what’s next?” She was now confused and felt no need to leave the warmth of his embrace, “What does this mean for us?” (Name) wanted to understand further about the change of their relationship and all the changes that would come with it.

“It means… that we become what we’ve always wanted… more than friends…”

“I like that but… what if things ever go south…”

“Not possible,” he said it in an earnest tone.

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because you’re all I’ve been looking for all along.” This made her smile and she leaned into his arms as they hugged like two long-lost lovers who finally found each other once again.

“Ha ha ha, Hah! I love you, Sirius Black,” she said to him playfully.

“You are never going to cease to let me live that down, are you?” he rolled his eyes at her.

“Nope!”

It wasn’t that long ago when Ben learned that Harry Potter fans imagined him or declared him to be the young Sirius Black of the Marauders fandom. Not only that, he was one time asked to take pictures with a Gryffindor tie.

“You can also be quite cheeky, huh. But that’s what I love about you… Sundance…” he said the last part with a smirk that caught her off guard.

“How did you-?!”

“How could I forget that My Little Pony manipulated you into becoming an equestrian… and you only get Sundance merch, ha ha ha.”

“Ahh!”

“What?! It’s adorable!”

Yup, those two were meant to be.

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Author's note:

Hi @marimorena06 I really want to say I'm so sorry you had to wait so long for your request to be fulfilled. I'm aware you gave your request last year (2021) on November. I thought I was confident in taking requests but was overwhelmed with the list of replies (I'm not mad). I'm disappointed in myself in being slow but I'm happy to finally be done with all the requests that were sent to me. Though I think you deserve all of my sincerest apologies for having to wait the longest. So I decided to put all of my mind and heart into this fic and spice it up with so much love, details, short stories, and some humor.

It took me long and hard but I managed. I've come to the realization I don't do well with deadlines so I'm taking a break from accepting requests until I'm a pro at this. All those fandom writers who deal and accept with a lot of tumblr fic requests have my deepest respect. I only had a few and I barely managed. I didn't want to disappoint, I had writer's block many times, I was busy at home, looking for jobs (it is so hard to find), I was so sick (I'm not saying I had the hardest time), and my laptop sucks (like really sucks... I've had it for nearly 10 years).

So my apologies to you and to everyone else that was anticipating this fic. I hope it meets your expectations and that it brings you joy. And again thank you for your request it was so sweet of you to ask me, a newbie, to bring your idea to life. You can request again once I'm available. Right now I'll be going through some changes and introducing new content. Thank you once again, I hope you had a good holiday and happy new year to you and everyone else. And thank you for the support.

Taglist:

@marimorena06 @itzzzzcookie @s0-theking @s1xthirty @sagejames @fromgreytoyellow @esther334 @airsummoner @memymfselfandi @gweaswift @supernaturallover2002 @veganismbymelaniecavill @eginv-blog @fakehappy27 @ivymiriiu @bruxa0007 @jessevans @maregomes @dxvanadeline @lorenshmidt @mandybug39 @lovesssss @enchantingeggslimepeanut @nana-licious @rheathesimp @darlingangel-17 @edithsvoice @lewisroscoelove @calimoi

#ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x you #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes imagines #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes fluff #friends to lovers #request #special requests #fanfiction #fluff imagine

[nexusnyx]

This is for your sleepover. I am just being a menace knowing what this prompt could cause. I am requesting a fic. Work at all your leisure.

So it is a request for a Dark! King Caspian. Prompts

"i thought i could trust you." "and whose fault is that?"

their breath hitching whenever the other gets a little closer

Maybe if you would like some background

Reader was Caspian's friend that has helped him even after everyone has told them he was a lost cause. But Reader is in love and keeping it from him. But that's just a suggestion you work your own magic.

Okay, we spoke about this and I told you what people have no clue about, but Prince Caspian was my first fictional boyfriend. My first man. I haven't written him in ages and this might genuinely tingle parts of my brain that were long forgotten, but I can't wait. Here we go, Ellie. — main masterlist | 🏷️: Dark!King Caspian, life-long best friends, friends to enemies to lovers to 'friends', pining, mentions of smut, unresolved sexual tension; [WC: 1.4k]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ˗ˏˋ꒰ i was never there ꒱

Peace among the Telmarine Kingdoms came at high prices that one but he, the King, was ready to speak for or own up to. It came at the cost of what sometimes felt like his soul if he still believed in those.

Most of the time, you stood by his side as Caspian chose whatever he must.

As his Counselor, you knew what no one else in the world did.

As his friend, you saw what even Caspian himself tried to hide. And as his lover... well—that part was long gone. But you remembered it. What it was like, having the pieces of him that reminded you of the Caspian that once was. Having the pieces of the King, who reminded you of who you kept falling for. Being trapped by.

Caspian won you back by saying Narnia would collapse without you.

Back then, a couple of years ago, he went into the woods in search of you after the fallout you two had and whispered the words you longed to hear for a long time. "I can't do this without you. Come back to me. You know it's different with us—you know... it's us."

“I’ll come back under one condition.”

“Anything.” The way Caspian uttered words changed after he became King. After power dripped off his shoulders as if his cloaks and clothes carried magic unknown by everyone else.

“It’ll be different. I’m not—your Consort.” The way you spit out the word carried your shame, the memories, and his taste. “Don’t turn me into one. Not again.”

Instead of nodding along, Caspian took his time before answering. He looked around your tent, looked you up and down as if searching for the answer in your body — as he had many times before — and then, after tense seconds of silence, he nodded, solemn. “I won’t.”

You knew the roundtable were still in talks to marry him to Ramandu’s daughter. Two years of absence and that was yet to change.

Caspian’s stubbornness was as iconic as his sword.

But if he would marry her—and he would, for there was no doubt about the best choice for Narnia’s King, then you would stay clear of his chambers.

“You’ll advise me. Go back to your place by my side.” He spoke in absolutes, and it made you remember that now, you had to look straight into his eyes when he spoke, and not the curve of his lips. Not the dark feathers surrounding his neck, or the secrets he hid in the corner of his mouth.

“So it is.”

It lasted months.

Months of Caspian showing you how much he had changed — so much power, how could one being carry so much power within them — and yet, how much he was still the same. The sudden bursts of playfulness when the two of you were alone in the private gardens of the castle. The knowing looks and entire conversations he was able to carry with you over people’s heads in balls, meetings, encounters. All of that, and the sizzling, almost-alive energy that you two generated when you got too close.

That went nowhere.

“Where did you go?” He asked you in rose garden once. You two had practiced the shortsword together long enough to be dripping in sweat, so you sat under a willow tree and watched as Caspian laid his body by your feet, resting his head on his hand. “None of my soldiers could find you for too long.”

“Narnia is a big place,” you answered. Being difficult with him was a pastime you never grew out of.

Caspian rolled his eyes. “I’m happy your time away in mysterious place never robbed you of your difficultness.”

“How could it? I was born with it.”

Caspian smiled. One of those rare and gorgeous smiles. “I said that when I was a teenager. Will you ever let it go?”

“Never.” That memory was etched into you. Tattooed on the walls of your brain, along with the first kiss of his lips on yours that followed those words.

The air sizzled slightly, and you knew the topic etched too close to dangerous waters.

“And you—did you learn anything about battling with more than one weapon or are we done here?”

It was good enough of a distraction.

The battlefield became your only escapade. The only place you two could be near each other, close, touching, and the hitches on your breath or soft gasps that escaped your lips could be passed by something else other than it was.

A storm, brewing in the distance.

He’d promised you that he’d keep his distance. Caspian promised to respect your wished, but Caspian lied before.

A few days after that, and he brings you back to where you were before running away. 

Harvest festivals were a time of drunkenness, stupidity, accidents.

As his Counselor and one of his first Knights, it meant hours of boring work—being one of the few sober people in a castle full of drunks and high folks was not only tiresome, it was annoying.

When he comes to you offering a glass of — you check with your nose, humming along — absinthe, and his pipe, you think, at least this. At least a little bit of peace.

You two talk for a while. Hushed tones, poised faces. People pass by and greet, sometimes stopping to try and participate, but as always, they feel left out after a while. Nothing and no one can quite keep your pace—you and Caspian developed your own rhythm years ago, and that only worsened with the years.

When he asks to go up to the meeting room, it’s past the peak of night. It must be only a few hours before sunrise, and you think—’the guards can finish this’. So you go up. 

Conversation about the trip to Poppy Fields is so good that you almost miss it.

His eyes on you, heavy and meaningful. The long sips he takes of his glass, and how his voice lowers.

When you do register, it’s because of proximity. You’re standing in front of his bookshelf, checking the new addition titles he acquired in your absence, and then, his presence covers your back like a dark cloud.

You shiver, breath hitching once again. Caspian’s close. Too close for a conversation, and the silence that comes with it makes it known for the both of you.

This proximity’s dangerous, and it makes a knot climb up your throat. 

He’d promised.

Frozen, you stand there in silence, your words forgotten and the topic of the conversation unknown to you, carried away by the wind. All you can feel is how his chest is only a couple of inches away. He removed his cloak, leaving only his white blousy tucked in his pants, and know what he looks like without taking a glance back.

“You promised me.” It comes out as a sad, choked whisper.

He knows you’re too weak to ever want to push him away. “I did.” He sounds surprised. Not at breaking his promise, but that he did one in the first place. Caspian’s hands find your waist, and they might as well be balls of fire for the way they burn through your clothes, warming the skin under. “I tried.”

He had. Both of you had, you knew.

"I thought I could trust you." To try harder. To keep your promise.

Caspian chuckles at that, dark and low. His face inches closer, his lips ghosting over your ear in that way he knows makes you weak— "And whose fault is that?" With those words, he pulls your body flushed against his, and then brings his lips to your neck, leaving a wet trail of kisses that goes from under your ear to the column of your throat.

Caspian lied before, but never to you.

But then again, if you thought about it, he had promised long ago that he would never hide what he really feels for you. He promised that first.

You spin around in his arms when Caspian’s teeth sink against you, and bury your moan in his mouth, surrending entirely to the ocean of him and everything you missed. You’re shaking, hands trembling and chest panting, but so is he.

Neither of you will make past the table this first time, but this table had seen your naked body before, and it had seen its King falling apart by your hands.

This was your fault. And his. And you two were guilty, willingly, together. Over and over again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ* . join my Fireplace celebration. * | send me mail 💌

#caspian x peter #prince caspian x you #prince caspian smut #prince caspian x reader #prince caspian imagine #prince caspian x y/n #prince caspian x f!reader #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes fluff #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes fic #usernexusnyx #nyx10fireplace.ೃ࿐ #ben barnes x f!reader #ben barnes fanfic

[myhairpintrigger]

Grieving for the Living (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader) Part 1

The entirety of a capricious and treacherous marriage between the Darkling and the Lantsov princess.

part 2 here!

-

oh look who's writing again!!!! ME! this particular story is going to be about 5-6 parts and most of it is finished. i've had a lot of requests to do an arranged marriage trope and so here she is. normally, i would have just posted the entire thing, but the first half alone was over 30k words and if ur anything like me, that's dangerous for someone with an attention span of a seven year old. but nonetheless, i love u and i miss u and i'm so looking forward to being back. REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN and i implore u to take advantage of that because i would love to busy myself with writing. sending u all hugs and kisses on the cheeks. (apologies in advance for the time ur wasting on this mess)

word count: 10.1k

warnings: nothing serious. drinking, kissing, examples of a not very healthy relationship. minimal swearing i think??

-

Your wedding dress lay abandoned on the cold floor, along with your jewelry and your veil and your shoes. You sat, chin deep in hot water, eyes fixated on the water in front of you. Footsteps echoed in the room adjacent- your new, shared, room- and each one made you wince. Each one a reminder of the man who the steps belonged to. 

Your husband. 

Not by choice, of course. He was kind, chivalrous, and ever so polite. He’d looked away when you practically tore your wedding dress off and threw your jewels to the floor. He’d insisted that he wouldn’t touch you, wouldn’t pressure you to consummate the marriage. He’d had a hot bath put together for you as you sat on the floor by his- yours- bed, and he’d helped you to your feet when it was ready. He wasn’t any happier about the marriage than you, but it wasn’t like either of you were in a place to argue. 

He was The General of the Second Army of Ravka. You were the Princess of Ravka. Neither of you really had the clearance to be protesting what your father had commanded. Your father insisted that it was a smart pairing, that uniting the Grisha with your family was a major political statement. One that might bring a bit more peace amongst those who sneered at the Grisha. You suspected it also had something to do with the fact that your mother didn’t want to send you off to marry someone who’d whisk you away from Os Alta. You were, after all, the youngest in the Lantsov family. Your mother might just lose her temper if you were to be sent away. 

The fact that you were married seemed surreal. You could be married to much worse men than The General, and that was for certain. But nevertheless, you were still full of disappointment. You’d never get to really fall in love, never get to truly be happy. The delusion of eventual happiness was often rude to you, because you knew that despite having an overall good life, you’d never have your own full agency. Not as a royal, and certainly not as a royal woman. 

You’d been in the bathroom for nearly an hour now, and the water had begun to slowly go cold. With an exhausted glance at the door, you climbed slowly out of the bathtub and grabbed a large, plush towel that had been sat upon a stool just for you. You wrapped yourself in the towel and stared at the door with a blank frown. Your now-husband’s footsteps had ceased, and instead there was a strange silence that settled in. You brushed it off as best you could and opened up the door that would lead you into your shared bedroom. 

The Darkling sat with his back up against the headboard of his bed and he held a book in his hands. His dark eyes flickered up to your face and they stayed there for a moment before he looked back to his book. 

“There are night clothes for you, at the end of the bed. They’re still in the process of moving your belongings from the Grand Palace to here.” He explained, not looking back up at you. 

You stayed in the doorway to the bathroom and your eyes floated around the entire bedroom for a moment before they settled on the clothes at the end of the bed. You shivered just slightly and pulled your towel tighter around your body. 

“You wouldn’t be cold if you put clothes on, your Grace.” His voice was idle, and his eyes were still transfixed on his book. You wondered how he had noticed your shivering, but chalked it up to whatever abilities he had as a Grisha. 

Every step you took towards the bed didn’t feel real. The whole night hadn’t felt real. You floated your way through your wedding with a dazed, fake smile painted across your face. The only thing grounding you at most times was the presence of The Darkling’s hand on your back. You grabbed the clothes in one hand and held your towel up with the other and started back towards the bathroom to change before he spoke again. 

“I’m not going to look. You may change in here.” He stated, and with an unmoored nod of your head, you dropped your towel to the floor. 

His eyes never strayed from his book once as you changed into your nightclothes, and you made sure of that by keeping yours fixed on him. He kept his word and didn’t so much as glance at you through his periphery. You stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed and picked at the stray threads at your sleeves, not sure of what to do now. 

Your husband set his book on the side table next to his bedside and he peeled back the covers on the opposite side of the bed and he motioned towards it, “Please, it’s been a rather exhausting day for the both of us, and I think some sleep is in order.” He murmured and looked up at you, “Princess, please. I know this isn’t ideal, but I wish you would speak to me.” He pleaded in a soft tone, and you’d wondered if this man had ever pleaded for anything before in his life. 

You slowly made your way towards the empty side of the bed and you climbed onto the mattress next to him, instantly tugging the covers up to your chin as you laid down, keeping distance between your bodies. You looked up at him to find that he was already gazing down upon your face and you felt flushed. 

“I just want this to be as easy as possible for the both of us, Princess. We don’t have to be lovers, not really. But we can at the very least be friends.” He remarked kindly.

“I know.” You answered, finding your voice. 

A very small smile made his full lips turn upwards, and a thin lock of hair fell over his forehead as he looked down at you. 

“Go to sleep, Princess.”

You gave him a nod and closed your eyes, listening to him shuffle around a bit and blow out the candle at his bedside. Tears pooled in your closed eyes and you curled yourself into a ball, pulling the covers up over your head while little tears snuck their way out of the corners of your eyes. You didn’t know him, you didn’t even know his name. Misery weighed heavily on your chest and you wrapped your arms around yourself tightly, thinking that it was likely the only comforting embrace you’d ever feel. 

Likely ever again. 

-

Your husband’s kindness seemed to wear off as quickly as it had materialized. He was still polite and chivalrous, but you were certain it was because it was only standard to treat you like… well… royalty. He was gone often, so it didn’t bother you, not that much, at least. It had been nearly four months into your marriage, and this was the third time he’d been gone. His absence gave you a bit of relief, truth be told. You had his vast quarters to yourself and could do really anything you wanted, whether that was snooping around in his room or laying in bed all day reading. 

Today happened to be a day where you had opted to stay in bed and read one of the many books you’d brought over from the Grand Palace. You hadn’t bothered to change into anything other than your bedclothes, and you sat on your side of the bed, legs tucked neatly underneath the covers. The doors to your shared quarters flew open loudly and a small handful of Grisha all filed into the room. Among the group was a red haired girl who you recognized as Genya. You knew her from the extensive time she spent with your mother, but the two of you didn’t speak often. She looked at you with an apologetic smile and you stared confusedly back at her. 

“What’s going on here?” You asked and slowly set your book on your husband’s side of the bed. 

Genya bowed her head respectfully and she walked towards the edge of your bed, “The Darkling is home. He’s brought the Sun Summoner with him. I’ve been sent by your mother to have you readied and sent into the Grand Palace immediately. The rest of them are here to tidy up the room.” She explained. 

A small bit of disappointment swirled in your chest at the arrival of your husband and you carefully climbed out of the bed and nodded stiffly, “Okay.”

Genya led you into the bathroom as you peered over your shoulder at the Grisha that immediately had begun cleaning the near-spotless room. Once inside the bathroom, she shut the door behind you two and she sat you down on a little bench. 

“Nothing fancy, please. This is not a… celebratory occasion.” You requested, and you saw the Tailor give you a little nod in your peripheral vision. 

She didn’t spend long on getting you ready, in fact, she simply pulled your hair back with a soft black ribbon and put a bit of cream on your face for whatever reason. She left the room and came back with a long, black dress, holding it up to you as if you’d somehow been given a say in the dress you were to wear. 

“I hate it.” You responded flatly, looking at the silver embroidery on the bodice of the dress, “I know I have something… colorful in that wardrobe. I cannot stand black.” You said, your tone borderline snotty. 

Genya glanced at the dress and then back up at you and sighed, “It’s customary for you to wear his color-“ she began but you held your hand up to silence the girl. 

“Customary? No. He’s ordered it, so it shall be. Is that it?” You asked, folding your arms over your chest. 

She gave you a look of sympathy and held the dress out for you to take, not speaking, intentionally not verbally confirming your statement. 

You scoffed and took the dress from her, “I’m getting real sick of men telling me what I should do. What events to attend, who to marry, where to be, how to speak!” You tossed the dress aside as if it were a venomous snake, “What to wear! What color I must present myself in! Who to meet!” You continued, your voice raising with each word. 

You hadn’t even noticed the door had been opened until you heard someone clear their throat from the doorway. You and Genya spun around to see your husband standing by the door with the dress just a few feet from his boots. His face was unreadable, but his fist was clenched tightly at his side. 

“Genya, I think I can take it from here. I apologize for my wife’s outburst. I’m sure she will never do it again.” He spoke, never looking at the Tailor once, instead, his eyes bore into yours. 

You stared back into his eyes challengingly and waited for Genya to leave the room. Once she had skirted out, The Darkling closed the door loudly behind her. He bent down slowly and picked up the discarded dress and walked towards you. You backed up until the backs of your knees hit the bathtub and you could no longer go anywhere else. He stood only a foot away from you and he draped the dress over the edge of the claw-footed tub and he grabbed your waist with a surprising gentleness, turning you around. 

“Take off the nightgown.” He commanded. You stared at the wall in front of you, but didn’t speak. You didn’t even move. 

When you made no move to undress yourself, your husband reached down and grabbed the hem of your nightgown and began to pull it upwards. 

You slapped his hands away and gasped, “Do not touch me! You swore you’d not lay a finger on me!” You shrieked. You spun around to see him leaning over you, his face showing mild irritation. 

“Undress yourself. Now, y/n.” 

He hardly ever used your name, and now that he had, you felt a bit nervous. He spoke calmly, eerily so. Your hands shook as you reached down and pulled the nightgown off, crossing your arms over your chest instantly afterwards to cover yourself. But he didn’t seem to be looking at your body. His dark eyes were fixed sternly on your face. He pointed at the dress by your side on the edge of the bathtub and you grabbed it. Slowly, you straightened it out and stepped into it, hands still shaking. Once you had pulled it up and slid your arms into the long sleeves, he grabbed your waist and turned you around again. He grabbed the laces of your dress and began to tie them with sharp, precise movements. 

“There will not be another outburst like that, do you understand me?” He asked and gave the laces a hard tug, pulling you back a bit. 

You were now so close to him that you could feel the heat radiating off of his body and you swallowed nervously before giving him a nod. 

He finished lacing up your dress and he gently turned you towards him, looking down at you. He looked down at the dress and then back up at your face. He pointed at a pair of black boots on the floor and you silently slipped them on and bent down to tie them. Once you had, you straightened back up, and he offered you his arm. You stared at it for a moment before finally taking it and you frowned, tears springing to your eyes. 

One trickled down your cheek and you looked down at the floor, sniffling. He brought a hand up to your chin and he gently lifted your head back up before he reached up and carefully wiped your tear away with his thumb. 

“Princess, I have only requested you wear black this afternoon so that we look like we stand united. We need to look like we have a strong partnership. Your parents have begun asking about children.” He murmured and led you out of the bathroom slowly. 

You didn’t respond, waiting for him to go on. 

“I have told them we are doing the best that we can. Your father seems content with that answer. Your mother doesn’t. We need to appear to be much more… in love… than we are.” He explained. You shuddered at the thought of being with child. 

The two of you walked out of your shared room and you let out a sigh, “Genya told me you have brought company. The Sun Summoner.” 

He gave you a little nod and looked down at you, “Yes. And we must appear united to her, too. She needs to trust me. Trust the Grisha. How is she to trust me if my own wife doesn’t?” He asked and then gave you an accusatory look. 

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just don’t want this.” You managed to say. 

He gave you a pitiful smile and then shook his head, “Neither of us want this. But this is our reality. The sooner you accept it, the sooner it will be more comfortable.”

You searched his face for a very long moment and then you shifted your eyes away from his face, “I will never be comfortable in a reality where I have no say.” You stated, challengingly. 

“Princess, with all due respect,” he began, leading you down the hallway, “you didn’t have a say to begin with.” He finished, sounding amused. 

You scoffed, appalled by his boldness, “I’m allowed to be frustrated. I’m trapped in a loveless marriage!”

He shushed you sharply and looked down at you, giving you a scolding look, “What am I to do about these horrible outbursts you’ve been having?” He asked, his tone low. 

You rolled your eyes but didn’t answer him. You just continued walking alongside him. 

You passed a couple of Grisha girls in the hallway, and one of them gave The Darkling a particularly fond smile, wiggling her fingers in what was sure to be a seductive wave. You narrowed your eyes and tugged him along, past the others and towards the Grand Palace determinedly. Your husband stopped you from walking just a second later and he sighed, shaking his head almost dejectedly. 

“We need to escort Alina to the Grand Palace.” He explained. You raised an eyebrow. 

“Alina?” You asked, pulling your arm away from his and placing your hands on your hips, “Is she your mistress?” You demanded, stamping your foot down against the marble floors. The Darkling rolled his eyes at your insolence and if you hadn’t felt so angry, you might have also rolled your eyes at your behavior. 

“Alina is the Sun Summoner.” He answered plainly and then leaned down towards your face. For a moment, you thought he was going to kiss you, and it seemed absurd. He’d never made any advances on you, he’d not even tried to befriend you, really. He kept going until his lips brushed the shell of your ear and he chuckled into it, “I wouldn’t take you to meet my mistress. Your sour attitude might spoil the fun I have with her.” He whispered smugly and then pulled away from your ear. 

You stared up at him, wide eyed. Not only did he just insult you, but he’d just admitted to adultery. Your upper lip twitched and you brought your hand up involuntarily, bringing your palm up to his cheek quickly. The slap you left upon his face echoed in the empty hallway and you grit your teeth. He clearly didn’t expect it, because his head was turned to the side and his eyes were closed. Slowly he turned his head back to face you and his jaw was set angrily. His eyes were burning holes into your own, and if you were smart, you would’ve stopped there. 

“Not only am I your wife but I am the Princess of Ravka. I outrank you by many people. Forget not who you speak to.” You hissed, trying to muster up the most bravery you’d ever tried to conjure before in your life, “You will respect me the way a subject should respect their Princess, but you will also respect me the way a husband should respect a wife. In love or not.” You snapped, feeling your bravery wane as he towered over you. Had he always been that tall? 

You prepared yourself for his wrath. You’d never experienced it, but you’d heard rumors. He was formidable. There was a reason he led the Second Army, and you assumed it wasn’t posterity alone. But his wrath never came. Instead, a gentle hand took your chin and tipped your head upwards. He gave you a soft smile and you briefly thought he was going to apologize, to say it was a terrible joke and that he didn’t mean what he’d said. But he didn’t, not even close. 

“Oh, sweet y/n. My darling wife. You may be the Princess, and for that you have my respect, but as my wife? You have none of it. Let me make that clear; I would fuck countless women- and men- before I even considered laying a finger on you. You could be the last girl in the world, and I still wouldn’t touch you.” He pulled away and offered his arm to you again, giving you a sweet smile. 

You didn’t love him. In fact, you were quite sure now that you hated him. So why did his words sting so badly? You rapidly tried to blink away the tears that rushed to your eyes, and you stumbled back a bit. Footsteps echoed through the hall, but they sounded like they were underwater, and you could faintly hear someone call out for your husband. You went to lean your back up against the wall, but just as soon as you moved backwards, his hands came to your waist and he pulled you against his chest in what appeared to be a tender embrace. 

He was petting your hair and shushing you, and you were too stunned to pull yourself away. Your forehead rested against his warm kefta and you sniffled loudly, catching a faint smell of leather and something sweet, something woodsy. Him. It’s what his sheets smelled like and what his room smelled like. The scent made your head hurt and you went to pull away, but his arms locked you in place. 

“General, I- what’s going on?” A voice asked. 

Yeah, General, you thought, what’s going on?

“Alina, this is my wife.” He answered smoothly, and it was almost amazing to you how he said “wife” so affectionately. 

His arms loosened around your body and you slowly pulled away from him, keeping your head down as to hide your tear stained eyes and cheeks. You looked at the floor sadly, at your boots, his boots, and this Alina girl’s boots. 

“Oh! Your Grace!” Alina breathed, curtsying to you respectfully. 

You lifted your head and gave her a weak smile, “You must be the Sun Summoner.” You croaked, wanting to disappear into thin air. 

“You must excuse her state, Miss Starkov,” your husband interjected, “it’s just that we’re both a bit disappointed right now.” He said coolly, “We’ve been trying for a child since our wedding night, and,” he paused and reached for your hand. You felt sick when he grabbed it and held it tightly in his own, as if he were soothing you, “well, we’ve had no luck.” he finished, giving your hand a little squeeze. 

“My apologies, General- and Princess.” She said quietly and you gave her another small smile but didn’t speak. 

“We must be going, Miss Starkov. You need to meet the rest of the royal family.“ he urged and pulled you against his side, “Come, follow us.” 

-

The week following the arrival of Alina Starkov was grey. The clouds hung ominously in the sky, and every so often, it would rain just a little bit. You’d spent most of your time sitting by the window in your husband’s room, silent. He’d spend much of his time away from you, and you were grateful for that. The only time you saw him in the past seven days had been only when the two of you went to bed. So it was odd when the doors to the room were opened and you could hear his familiar footsteps on the floor. You didn’t turn around to greet him, but eventually you could sense him standing right behind you. You sat on the window seat wrapped in a thick, black blanket, and you very slowly turned your head around to face him. He was already looking down at you. His beard had been freshly trimmed and shaped, you noted, and his dark eyes shone in the grey light that seeped through the clouds. He let out a long sigh. 

“I owe you an apology.” He remarked. 

You looked the man up and down and then shrugged, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself. You hadn’t uttered a word to him since the day you met Alina, and perhaps that was driving him insane. You couldn’t be sure, though. He was always so calm and collected, never letting a single emotion slip through the cracks of his steely armor.  He slowly sank to his knees beside you and he was now level with your face, his eyes meeting yours. 

“Prin- y/n…” he corrected himself and then pursed his lips for a silent moment. Finally, he let a breath out through his nose, “y/n, the way I spoke to you was out of line. You are correct when you say I ought to respect you, not only as my wife, but as the Princess of the country I swear allegiance to.”

You eyed him warily and leaned your head back against the wall, a little frown forming on your lips. You weren’t overly sure how to react to his apology. You weren’t even sure of why he was apologizing. You gave him another little shrug and he cocked his head slightly to the side. 

“I know all too well that this marriage wasn’t wanted by either of us. We are having a hard time… adjusting. That’s to be expected. If we cannot be lovers, we should at least be able to be friends. We have a long life ahead of us.” He explained. 

You listened to what he said and blinked a few times. You sniffed once to fill the silence and then you shook your head, “I don’t know how to be friends with you, Sir.” You replied after a while, looking back out the window. 

“Okay, perhaps not friends, but we need amicability to survive this.” He spoke, and the soft tone of his voice drew your attention back to him. 

You hated to admit how beautiful he was, how enticing he was. You’d heard many people in the Grand Palace and the Little Palace alike whisper about how they’d wanted him, but no one would ever make a move. For one, he was married to the princess, and if that wasn’t enough, usually his intimidating demeanor deterred anyone brave enough to ignore you. You searched his face for any trace of emotion, or even deception, but you found none. 

“I don’t forgive you. But I agree with what you’ve said, and I appreciate your apology.” You said finally, tracing your finger against the inside of the blanket you held. You looked into his eyes and he gave you a very small smile. 

“I’m going riding with Miss Starkov. I will be back for dinner. I’ll have the servants draw you a hot bath.” He said, rising to his feet. 

You watched him stand and you nodded once, “Okay. Thank you.” You murmured and turned to look back out the window again.

It had begun to rain. 

-

“I heard it was rather romantic!” 

“Well, that’s what I heard too, but how romantic could it be?”

“There’s something romantic about sneaking into his war room… especially when his wife is asleep just a room away.”

“That’s just plain dangerous, don’t you know the Princess could have her head?” 

Your fingers trembled as you held your teacup, eyes fixed pointedly on your husband’s face as he sipped his own tea and seemed to look everywhere but you. The voices from two Grisha a table over were completely audible to your ears and you slammed your teacup down on the table. This seemed to grab The Darkling’s attention and he narrowed his eyes a bit before he shook his head. 

“What are you doing?” He asked quietly and reached across the table to gently hold your wrist. 

“I’ve had it with your gossiping Grisha. I’ve heard the same stories all week. Every time I come to have tea or a meal, it’s all anyone can talk about.” You said critically. 

You were referring to six days prior. Alina had wandered into your husband’s war room, a room adjacent to your shared bedroom. You weren’t, in fact, asleep. You’d been up reading while you waited on sleep to come to you, but to no avail. The Darkling often spent most of his night in the war room at his war table or his desk, going over plans, strategies, and whatever else he deemed important. Apparently she couldn’t sleep, and according to every rumor you’d heard, the two had shared a particularly intimate moment. Whether it was true or not, you’d never know. The man was evasive whenever you asked him about it. Whatever happened, the gossip was running rampant around the Little Palace and likely the Grand Palace now. You’d wondered if your parents had heard. The thought made you recoil. 

“My dear, it’s silly gossip.” He insisted and you slowly rose from the table and gave him an overly sweet smile, a smile without a trace of sincerity behind it. 

“Will it be silly when I tell my father of its truth?” You asked, batting your lashes at him innocently. 

His mouth twitched and you could see that you’d angered him slightly. You’d been getting rather good at that of late.

“Y/n.” The Darkling warned and slowly stood up from the table as well, walking towards you. His hand found its way to your back and he promptly led you out of the dining hall. You only followed without protest because you didn’t want to give anyone more reasons to gossip about your clearly loveless marriage. 

There was enough of that already.

You followed him into the hallway and all the way across the Little Palace, and finally back into his quarters. He closed the door behind him and he gave you a look up and down before you turned on your heel and went to sit on a chair in the corner of the room. 

“What happened to having a united appearance?” You asked in a bored tone, crossing your legs stiffly as you looked up at him. He stayed by the doors and thought for a while before sighing. 

“Would it really bother you so much if I had shared such a moment with Alina?” He asked and took a step towards you. 

You scoffed, “Please. I couldn’t care less who you have affections for. Alas, as you said, I could be the last girl alive and you wouldn’t touch me. But keep your affairs private.” You snapped, but the words were bitter in your mouth. 

He stared at you for a long while and then he chuckled and shook his head, leaning up against his war table. He seemed amused. He didn’t seem to be taking you seriously, and this made you angry. You stood up from the chair and stomped over to him, standing less than a foot away from the much taller man. 

You jabbed your finger against the center of his chest, “I mean it. You will not drag my name down with you just because you are aching to have some girl warm your bed! I am the Princess, I will be respected as such! You will not stand-“  

His cold, rough hands flew to your cheeks and he roughly pulled you forward as he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. You didn’t know how to react at first, so you stood there, shocked. Then came panic. You’d only ever been kissed once before, and it had been nothing like this. A peck on the lips from a suitor, a goodbye kiss. This was different. Your husband’s mouth was soft and warm, and the kiss was intense. You tentatively returned his kiss with clumsy, inexperienced lips, and finally he pulled away, dropping his hands away from your face. Your cheeks felt hot and you stared up at him confusedly, trying to make sense of whatever had just happened. 

Your husband stared back at you, almost as if he were surprised that he’d done that, too. 

“You’ve never been kissed before.” He commented, and your cheeks heated up even more. 

Was it that obvious? You looked away and then sniffed. 

“Not like that.” You remarked, suddenly becoming hyper aware of your heart, which was beating faster than normal in your chest. Could he hear that? Surely not. But weren’t there Grisha that could? Was he one of them? Why did he kiss you? You bombarded yourself with questions and placed a hand on your temple. 

“Don’t overthink it, Princess.” His voice rang out through the noise in your head and you blinked up at him. 

His expression was unreadable and you slowly backed away from the Darkling. He looked so put together, so immaculate. His face was cool and his posture was perfect, not a hair was out of place on his head. You on the other hand? You were sure your cheeks were as hot as the fireplace burning in the corner of the room, and your hair felt disheveled. You wanted to slap him across the face for kissing you, and you wanted to ask him why. You doubted you’d ever get an answer, though. Months had gone by since your union, and he’d not so much as held your hand or told you that you looked beautiful. So this kiss? It was currently making your head hurt. 

Were you even attracted to the man? You wondered. He was breathtaking, you didn’t need to like him to admit that. 

A hand wrapped itself around your arm and you recognized it as his. You looked up at him, surprised as he carefully pulled you back towards him. 

“Hey, I told you not to overthink it. Go get ready for dinner. We will be dining with your parents.” He instructed. 

You nodded dumbly and moved away from him, far enough and fast enough this time so that he couldn’t pull you back and you quickly walked into your bedroom, mind still racing. 

-

“We hardly see you anymore, have you gotten any of the dresses I’ve sent for you, darling?” Your mother’s voice rang out across the dining table, and you looked up from your third glass of wine and gave her a smile. 

“Mhm, thank you, Mother.” You replied, swirling the wine in your glass before you finished it. 

Your mind had been reeling for the past three hours, replaying the kiss you and your husband had shared. It was strange to think about. You didn’t think he was even slightly attracted to you. Maybe he was just… desperate? No, that couldn’t be it, surely. He could get anyone he wanted, it wasn’t like you were all that there was. And didn’t he swear that even if you were the last person alive that he wouldn’t want you that way? You blinked a few times and reached out for the crystal decanter full of wine and you poured yourself another glass, your head feeling nice and empty. 

A hand clasped your forearm gently and you looked up to see your husband staring down at you. 

“My love, are you listening?” He asked and eyed you, almost concernedly. 

You looked at him for a moment longer before you looked around the table to see your mother, your father, and your brother staring at you. 

“What? What was said?” You asked, not recalling hearing anyone speak. 

“Darling, girl. Your mother asked you a question.” The General said with a soft, amused laugh. 

You eyed him for a moment through narrowed eyes and then you looked at your mother. Your cheeks felt warm and you began to feel very light. You let out a pleasant sounding sigh and then smiled at your mother. 

“Sorry, what did you ask, Mother?” You asked, your tongue feeling a bit too big for your mouth. 

“I asked if you have gotten the chance to wear that pretty purple gown I had made for you.” She said, her thin eyebrow arching slightly. 

You thought for a moment, bringing your hand up to your forehead, “Purple gown?” You echoed, trying to picture it. You tried your hardest to picture the dress she spoke of, but your mind began to wander again. Back to the kiss. 

You turned your eyes away from your mother and now looked at your husband. He was looking across the table at your mother as well, his big, brown eyes fixed on the woman politely. His chiseled jaw moved and you realized he was speaking, but you couldn’t be bothered to listen. His voice seemed far away, anyhow. His prominent nose and strong cheekbones were highlighted in the evening light, making his side profile appear even more impressive than usual. You sighed quietly when your gaze traveled to his lips and stayed there, unwavering. 

Slowly, he turned his head towards you and gave you a very soft smile. 

“My love, you are drunk.” He spoke. You opened your mouth to protest, but giggled instead. 

“I think we should’ve taken her drink away after the first glass.” Vasily grumbled from across the table. 

This made you scowl and you turned to your brother with an annoyed glower, “Oh, shut up, Vasily. You drink the town dry whenever you’re able.” You retorted, folding your arms over your chest defiantly. 

“Don’t you two start-“ your father began, but Vasily stood up from the table abruptly. 

“You are the Princess of Ravka. You will act like it. That means you present yourself well at all times- even around just your family.” He said haughtily. 

You and your brother seldom got along. Perhaps it was because he had much more traditional beliefs about gender roles and had a strong lean towards a patriarchal dynamic in the palace, or maybe it was because you had bonded with your half brother, Nikolai, much better than he and Vasily had bonded. 

You opened your mouth to argue back at him, but a strong hand grabbed your shoulder and you looked up to see that your husband now stood over you. He held your shoulder gently and he gave your parents both an apologetic smile. 

“Your majesties, I think I’m going to take our lovely princess back to the Little Palace. Don’t judge her too harshly, please. We have both been struggling with… our lack of child.” He explained with a voice as soft as velvet.

Silver tongued bastard. 

Your mother placed a sympathetic hand over her chest and she nodded once, a sad look covering her face, “Oh, we pray to the Saints every night that you two will find luck. I know how hard it’s been for you two.” She said sadly, looking over to your father who was now nodding along with her. 

You tried to stand up from the chair, but the black silk of your gown caught underneath your shoe, and you stumbled a bit. Your husband easily caught you, and in one fluid motion, he lifted you up into his arms. You threw your arms around his neck and laid your head on his shoulder. He smelled just as you had remembered from weeks ago, only now it seemed more inviting. 

You heard him bid your family goodbye and then you felt his body move slightly with each graceful step he took. Once both of you were out of earshot of anyone else, you heard your husband sigh softly through his nose. You looked up at him from where your head laid on his shoulder. 

“I do believe this is the first time I’ve seen you… intoxicated.” He remarked, his tone even, “You drinking for any particular reason, Princess?” He asked. 

You stared at his hair and reached up to twirl the ends of it around your fingertip, “Just having some wine, that okay with you, husband?” You asked with a mirthful giggle, giving his hair a gentle tug. 

You watched the corner of his lip tugged upwards in a smile and he glanced down at you, “You about gave your brother a seizure.” He remarked and then pushed open the doors to the courtyard with his foot. 

The cool evening air made your warm cheeks feel nice and you closed your eyes, your fingers still absentmindedly twisting about in your husband’s hair, “He is… a handful.” 

“Oh, I know. I’ve watched him grow up.” He remarked and you furrowed your eyebrows. 

His words confused you for a moment but then you recalled that he didn’t really age. Not like you, anyway. Grisha perk, you guessed. 

“So that means you’ve watched me do the same, I guess.” You hummed, trying to think back to your earliest memory of The Darkling. 

“Yes and no.” He replied, “In the years following you and Vasily being born, I was often away on business. And besides, you two were often in lessons or doing whatever it is royal children do. I can recall seeing you in the flesh maybe four times before you turned sixteen.” He explained. 

You thought for a moment and then you let out a sigh, your hand falling away from his hair, “That’s… weird.” You murmured, trying to wrap your head around it, “So you’re like… old? How old? Like, fifty?” You asked, growing more curious. 

“No, not fifty, darling. One hundred twenty.” He replied idly and then he chuckled, “Serving for your family has been in my family for quite some time.” His tone was amused and you lifted your head away from his shoulder. 

“Was it weird when we got married then?” You asked and blinked slowly, your eyes adjusting to the dim light outside. 

He thought for a moment and then he shook his head, “Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say it was ‘weird’. Your father initially wanted to marry you off to one of Ketterdam’s richest politicians. But your poor mother wept whenever he’d bring it up. I mean, at this point you were an adult. It was time in their eyes for you to be married off. Eventually your parents offered me your hand and I figured that it wasn’t the worst thing that could happen. I mean, you’d still be home, after all, and at least I can ensure that you aren’t… made to be a traditional wife.” He explained, looking down at your face. 

“Traditional wife..?” You asked confusedly. 

“Princess, you have lived a rather luxurious life. Both your mother and your father have gone very easy on you. But I’ve seen past princesses married off to be bred like dogs and that’s all.” He had your attention now, and you looked into his eyes while he spoke, “I think that you have grown up to be an exceptionally intelligent and remarkable girl, that needn’t be wasted on some pig from Ketterdam who wants your children for status.” He said firmly, his eyes never leaving yours. 

He walked up the steps to the front doors of the Little Palace and two guards opened the doors for you two. He stepped inside and you took a moment to process his words. It was without a doubt, the nicest thing he’d ever said to you. You stayed silent in thought the whole way back to your shared bedroom, and before you knew it, you were being gently placed on the edge of the bed. Your husband knelt before you and was busying himself with getting your boots unlaced, his eyes focused on the task at hand. Your mind swirled with his words and you could almost hear him in your mind, telling you not to overthink it. 

Too late for that. 

“If you think I’m so intelligent and remarkable, why do you hate me?” You whispered, looking down at him. You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth anxiously and awaited his answer. 

For a while, you wondered if he had even heard you, because he didn’t speak. Instead, he simply pulled your boots off and reached underneath your dress chastely to pull your tights off. He looked up at you after he had freed your legs from their stocking smothered prison, straightening up a bit. Even though you were sitting on your bed and he was on his knees before you, he was almost level with your face, and you found yourself only having to shift your head downwards slightly. 

“I don’t hate you, y/n.” He replied slowly, his hands coming to rest on your dress over your calves. 

“You certainly could have fooled me.” You said slowly, your head spinning. You chalked it up to the wine. 

He took his time responding again, and when he did, you had almost forgotten what you two had been speaking about. 

“Sweetheart, you’ve had much to drink tonight. I don’t think we need to be getting into these conversations while you are drunk.” He replied softly and then he stood up. 

He left the room promptly and you felt your eyes well up with tears. You did not want to cry, especially over him, but it also felt like you two were having some sort of breakthrough tonight. Just as the first tear fell, he entered the room again, and he walked towards you determinedly. When he saw the tear rolling down your cheek, he reached down and wiped it away with his thumb. You looked up into his dark, endless eyes and you frowned. 

“Why did you kiss me?” You asked, finally having the courage to speak about the thing that had been giving you not a moment’s peace all evening.

He grabbed your hands gently and pulled you off of the bed and turned you around. He began to unlace your dress with skilled fingers and you were suddenly very self conscious, “I kissed you because I saw no other way to quiet your outburst.” He replied coolly, fingers still moving quickly to unlace your dress, “I’m having a bath drawn for you. Let’s just get you out of these clothes, yeah?” He asked softly. 

At first, you felt a bit disappointed when he told you that the kiss was only a means to quiet you, but then you were confused as to why you were even disappointed in the first place. 

Your husband pulled your dress down your body and you shivered slightly as his fingers brushed your shoulder blades. Instantly, you were covered by something cold to the touch and you looked down to see your husband had draped a silk robe over your body. You slipped your arms into it and he helped you step out of your dress before you quickly tied the robe closed with clumsy, drunk fingers. You puffed your cheeks out and turned around, expecting The Darkling to be across the room, but instead, he was right in front of you, just inches away. 

“Woah.” You murmured, taken aback by his close proximity. You stumbled back just slightly, but your husband had reflexes like you’d never seen. He caught you by your arms and steadied you, looking down into your eyes. 

You gazed up into his eyes and you tried to stay focused on his stare, but your eyes strayed to his lips. You flickered your gaze between his lips and his eyes for a moment before you stood on your tiptoes and leaned forward, intent on kissing him again. 

You hardly moved forward, and were confused as to why, until you realized he was holding you back. You looked up at him with a pathetic frown and you stuck your bottom lip out. 

“Do I need to have another outburst for you to let it happen again?” You asked, the words leaving your mouth before you had a chance to even think them over. 

“You are drunk, y/n. I’m not going to let that happen.” He said sternly. 

You felt your cheeks heat up, you felt… rejected. The feeling left a sour taste in your mouth and you looked down, avoiding his stare. You wished things could go back to the way they had been just hours ago, before he had kissed you. You wished that he’d yell at you or insult you again, anything other than reject you. You wished he’d let go of you and let you run across the courtyard and back into your old bedroom, where he ceased to exist as your husband, where the kiss never happened, where you were unwed and happily reading alone. 

A tap on the doorframe pulled you out of your head and you both looked at the servant who stood there.

“The bath is warm and ready whenever she is, Sir.” 

He nodded once and turned to you with a weak smile, “Go. Get in the bath. Call for me if you need help.” He said softly, sending you on your way. 

You haphazardly made your way to the bathroom and dropped your robe. You closed the door hurriedly and then stepped into the hot bath. Although the water was slightly too hot for your liking, you still sunk down into it, arms wrapped around yourself tightly. 

You thought that maybe the hot water would scald the thoughts of The Darkling right out of your head. 

You were disappointed to find that it did no such thing.

-

Your husband had been avoiding you. 

If he wasn’t, he was doing a very poor job being around, and if he was, then he was succeeding with flying colors. He’d been so keen on not being around you ever since the night of having dinner with your parents. 

That was nearly five days ago now.  

Now you sat alone in a room full of other Grisha, picking uncomfortably at your lunch. Under any normal circumstance, your husband would at the very least eat with you, but he didn’t seem to be interested in keeping up appearances with you anymore. You shifted awkwardly in your chair and set your spoon down, feeling the eyes of everyone in the room on you. You stared off into your bowl of soup for a while, wondering when it was socially acceptable to stand up and abandon your untouched lunch. You had only just decided that you were going to leave when the doors to the dining hall opened up. You didn’t even have time to stand before your husband walked inside. 

But he wasn’t alone. 

Alina Starkov was politely clutching his arm and he was ushering her inside. You pressed your lips together, feeling even more gazes settle upon you than before. Abruptly, you stood up from your table and met your husband’s eyes with a challenging stare. When he looked at you, so did Alina. She almost for a fleeting second looked guilty, but then her gaze turned pitiful and at the same time almost… prideful. 

You sniffed once and stood completely still as the pair began to approach you. You ran your tongue along the backs of your teeth as the two grew closer and closer, and you willed yourself not to have what your husband would call “an outburst.” 

Once they were a mere three feet away from you, you watched your husband’s face melt into a sickeningly sweet smile and he held his hand out for you. 

“My love, I was thinking-“ 

“Your Grace.” You corrected sharply. Every voice in the room stopped all at once and now you were sure every single eye was on you. 

“Pardon me?” Your husband asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“You will call me ‘Your Grace’. I am the princess. You will give me the respect of formalities.” You chided, feeling an unbridled sense of anger warm your veins. 

He looked taken aback, and he stood there silently, waiting for whatever else you had to say.  But you were done. You pushed your chair in and you looked Alina up and down once before you shouldered past your husband, making a beeline directly out of the dining hall. 

You marched with intent back into your shared bedroom and you made quick work of pulling all of your clothes out of the sleek black armoire that had been dedicated to your numerous dresses. With a look of disgust, you left each black piece hanging in the armoire and tossed the rest onto the bed. You made a large pile of your clothes and blankets and you gathered them all into your arms, albeit struggling to get a hold of the clothes. 

You were ready to get out of the Little Palace. You formulated a plan as you hobbled across the room to the door, holding the pile of gowns in your arms. You’d go back to the Grand Palace and you’d beg and beg, and even cry if you had to, to your parents to get you out of this marriage and let you marry someone- anyone- else. Perhaps you’d tell them he was cruel, or perhaps you’d say you’d never bear a child because the Grisha can’t procreate. You huffed angrily as you kicked your bedroom door open, and you shuffled out of the room, not able to see over the mountain of dresses in your arms. You were your parents’ favorite, after all. Surely they’d make this allowance for you just this once.  

You hadn’t even made it halfway down the hallway before you bumped into someone. You let out a small sigh and craned your neck around the clothes. You caught a glimpse of a black Kefta around your dresses and you shook your head, trying to go around him. He stepped in front of you again, blocking you from walking away. 

“I am not doing this with you.” You deadpanned, “So get out of my way and let me go. The sooner we can get this… arrangement ended, the sooner you and I can just live our own lives, General.”

But he didn’t respond. Instead he sidestepped you and grabbed your shoulders in a steel-like grip and steered you against your will back to the bedroom. You dropped your dresses to the floor once you were in the bedroom and you gaped up at him angrily. His face didn’t show a single emotion other than maybe mild annoyance, and this made you even angrier. You pursed your lips tightly and stared up at him defiantly, folding your arms across your chest. 

“Breaking our ‘arrangement’ would mean you’d be married off to someone who will not give you free will.” He finally said, taking a half step closer to you. 

“I don’t care. I hate you.” You said, childishly. 

“You don’t hate me. You are cross with me. You sound like a child, right now.” He remarked and you shook your head. 

“No. I hate you. I mean, I really hate you. You cannot make up your mind! We get married and you’re kind to me, and not even a month later you’re as cold as ice! Then you tell me that you wouldn’t touch me if I was the last person alive! But then you kiss me? Take care of me when I’m drunk, you’re all… gentle with me. And now you’re avoiding me, sneaking around with her. Make no mistake, I couldn’t care less who you really love, but this isn’t fair to me!” You exclaimed, your voice growing less angry and more… hurt, much to your dismay, “You might think you’re in the right, marrying me for noble reasons, but I’m…” you trailed off and you leaned back against the wall next to the door and you slid down slowly, until you were sitting on the cold floor, your dress pooling around your legs. 

He waited for you to continue, not speaking. His eyes never left your face once and you felt the familiar burn of his gaze on you. The even more familiar sting of tears began to form over your eyes and you brought your hands up to your face. 

“I’m tired of pretending that I’m okay with a chivalrous at best marriage. This is never what I wanted,” you started, your voice wavering, “I would rather risk it all and take my chances with someone else if it meant there was a slight chance of finding someone who actually loves me.” You finished in a whisper, keeping your face in your hands. 

He was silent and you expected this. You expected him to smooth it over and tell you that it was okay, that this marriage was for the best, and then leave again. You expected him to go back to Alina and spend the rest of the day with her, as he had the past five days. 

What you didn’t expect was to feel his hands gently pull you to your feet by your arms. You didn’t look at him, you didn’t want to, so you opted for looking down at the tips of your boots. You were so close to him that you could smell him, just as you had when he carried you back to your bedroom. Except, now the smell wasn’t inviting. Now, it made your head hurt and it made your chest tighten. You pressed your lips together as tightly as you could and said nothing, hoping that he’d just leave you alone. 

His cold fingers grabbed ahold of your chin and he tilted your head up towards his and he looked down into your tear-glossed eyes. You felt your bottom lip quiver as you sucked in a sharp breath through your nose. You wanted to pull away, you wanted to at the very least, look away, but he held your gaze. His face had no emotion on it, but you could see in his eyes that his mind was racing, like he didn’t know what to do. You shakily reached up and grabbed his wrist in your smaller hand and you pried his hand away from your face. You gave him an apologetic smile and you took a step back.

“You know this is for the best.” You whispered. 

“Best for who?” He asked, quickly, as if he didn’t even think about it. 

You were taken aback, “For both of us. This way you can be with Alina, just like you want, and I can have a shot at finding real love. It’s for the best.” You insisted, taking another step back. 

You didn’t get far, because The Darkling’s hands moved quickly to grab your waist and pull you back towards him. 

“I disagree.” He whispered, “You are just scared. This isn’t what’s best. You’re just frightened. Frightened that you may have feelings for me, frightened that I don’t return them. Frightened that I have affections for Alina.”

You furrowed your brow and you looked up at him and shook your head, “That’s not…” you trailed off and fell silent. You refused to contemplate his words, and maybe it’s because you knew he was right. It was impossible not to be somewhat attracted to him, by his looks alone. You shook your head again and tried to step away, but he wasn’t letting you go anywhere. 

“You’re making this worse.” You whispered and closed your eyes, your lips pursing. 

“Let me make it better, then.” He said in a low tone. 

“I don’t want you to make it better.” You insisted.

“If you wanted love, little princess, all you needed to do was tell me.” He murmured, bringing a hand up to cup the side of your face gently. 

“I don’t want to.” You argued, but the way you leaned your face into the palm of his hand was a bit contradictory. 

“Then what is it that you do want?” He asked, thumb brushing slowly across your cheekbone, his cold skin sending a chill through your body. 

“I…” you began, tears pooling in your eyes. They slowly rolled down your cheeks as you looked up at him, your bottom lip trembling, “I want you to love me.” You admitted, shame heating your cheeks. 

The silence between the two of you was palpable and you went to move away from him again, but he pulled you back into place once more. His thumbs caught each tear that rolled down your cheeks, though it seemed pointless with how many were falling. You two stayed like that for a long time, until your husband coaxed your head forward. He gently laid your head down against his chest and he wrapped both of his arms around your waist, a gesture that would have left you speechless if you weren’t already out of words to say. 

His hand laid against the back of your head and he slowly began to rock you from side to side, as if it would soothe you. There was so much you wanted to ask him, but the questions would leave your mind as soon as they came. Part of you wanted to pull away from him, leave him behind like you’d planned, but the other part couldn’t even consider leaving his embrace.  

So you didn’t.

#grishaverse #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #aleksander morozova imagine #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #general kirigan imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #the darkling imagine #the darkling x you #the darkling imagine #the darkling #the darkling x reader #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes imagine

[angelaestheticbaby]

He found love

Summary: Aleksander finally understands what true love is.

Warnings: None I think, just tooth-rotting fluff

A/N: I know I disappeared for a long time, but there's a lot going on. I'm trying to make all the request. I love all❤️

Aleksander and the sun summoner -Alina- were the most loved couple in Ravka. Everyone talked about how cute and strong their love is.

It was until Aleksander met you. You; the dragon queen. You were able to communicate, tame and control the dragons all over the known world.

The first time Aleks saw you, you were training with your dragon. He was absolutely enchanted from then on.

When most people meet someone they are instantly attracted to, their heart races and their palms sweat and their brain turns to mush.

But not the Darkling.

He noticed all of these things and more, but kept his demeanor calm and unruffled. His face was a mask of composure, his breathing slow and steady.

Only one part didn't follow suit, one part that the Darkling's powers and will could not control. His heart was beating so loud he was afraid everyone could hear it, despite the fact that he stood perfectly still.

"Ohh Good afternoon General" you beamed like a sunshine. He couldn't wrap his brain around how someone so powerful could be so kind and pure at the same time. He thought already met the sun, but it wasn't like that all. No, you weren't like that. You were like the brightest star he has ever seen. Full of light on the night sky.

"Hello" he said, as if he could say anything other than that, not taking his eyes off your face for a second.

The way you talked was so genuine, there was nothing artificial, nothing put on. Your voice was like music to his ears, and seeing a smile cross your face was like seeing the sun rise after a cold, dark night.

He could already feel his control slipping, and yet something made him want to hold on, even if only for a moment.

"How are you today?" you asked, smiling.

"I am well" he said, his voice soft and gentle, "What brings you here?"

There was something different about how he spoke with you, something he wasn't even aware of himself. Normally he spoke with such authority and command, like a general issuing orders. But with you his voice was... softer. You saw something flicker in his eyes as he looked at you, some inner struggle that he was fighting. It was almost as if he wasn't as sure of himself, as he always was.

"Ohh just training with Firefly" you pointed at the young dragon which was jumping around the field like the baby he was.

"He needs to learn a bit" you explained.

He felt a smile spread across his face as he watched the dragon. It was a warm, genuine smile, which faded just as quickly as it arrived. He cleared his throat, trying to keep his composure, as he asked.

"Do you need any assistance?"

Suddenly a thought crossed his mind. He could help train your dragon. A simple task, but one he felt he could do. Maybe then you would smile that warm, genuine smile again.

"Well if you want to?" you shrugged. "It'd be good to have company" with a smile, you turned back to Firefly. He could feel his face heat up, and yet for some reason he felt the need to accept your invitation.

"Yes, I would love to join you" his voice was still soft and gentle, and he watched you with a curious expression on his face as he went to your side.

"Good" you grinned. "Here.." you handed him a fish. "I know it's gross, but I'll show you what to do with it" you explained.

You grabbed an other fish from the whistled to Firefly.

"Okay...Firefly! Sit!" you commanded to the dragon. Your voice and the way you told the creature what to do made Aleks's heart race.

He was already in awe of you for being able to command an entire dragon, but the way you did it was like magic. The dragon seemed to listen to you instinctively without any resistance at all.

Once you gave the command he watched as the dragon sat down with a low grumble. And yet you seemed completely unfazed by the dragons size and potential danger. To you it was just... a dragon. Seeing you command a dragon like that made his admiration for you grow even more, if that was even possible.

"Now give him the fish as a reward" you smiled at Aleks. He took the fish from your hand, and the dragon looked up at him instantly. Even if it was just a dragon to you, to him it was still a large, powerful beast. Yet it almost seemed to show some signs of shyness as it looked at him.

As he held the fish out the dragon came closer and began eating it, almost like a dog. He felt a smile spread across his face as he watched, there was something about this moment that made him feel... happy.

"How was it? Isn't it amazing?" you asked excitedly.

"It's incredible," he said as the dragon finished the fish, "To be able to control such a beast, I have never seen anything like it."

He looked at you with a feeling of wonder and amazement, his admiration for your powers growing even more.

However, even as he watched the magic you wielded, something else was catching his eyes. How you looked at the dragon and spoke to it almost like it was a human, with love and compassion. This was something else entirely. It moved something within him.

He knew deep down that he was still with Alina and he loved her. He loved her until that moment with you. When you talked so passionatly about the things you loved he felt like he fell more and more in love with you. Aleks forget about Alina and their relationship. All he knew was you.

He hadn't even noticed that he had moved closer to you, until your arms brushed against each other and your voices grew softer.

He felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck, and his breath caught in his throat.

The feeling of being near you was like a drug, intoxicating him, and suddenly he didn't even remember what he was doing or why he was here. He was so focused on you.

You were his entire focus now.

"Hi" you smiled when he got so close to you that your chest touched. It felt like time moved in slow motion as your chests touched, and suddenly everything stopped.

He felt so many emotions in that moment, fear, joy, confusion, arousal. His heart raced, and yet for some reason he didn't pull away, not now, not ever. He finally said with a voice so soft you could barely hear it,

"Hi, Angel" when his lips gently brushed yours, you made a confident move and pressed your lips hard to his.

And that was the moment he knew; He found true love. He found you.

#aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling #the darkling fanfic #ben barnes #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes x reader #the darkling x reader #the darkling fluff

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

jealousy, jealousy // ben barnes

Summary: Ben was eager to catch the latest episode of your tv show. However, a surprising scene featuring you and your co-star sparked a heated argument.

Pairing: Ben Barnes x Reader

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: jealousy, insecurities, angst, implied smut, a bit suggestive at the end but nothing too graphic

A/N: As always, remember English is not my first language. This isn’t proofread, so I apologize for any grammatical errors this may have

main masterlist  |  ben barnes masterlist

It was Friday. 

And that meant it was movie night with your boyfriend.

From the early stages of your relationship, you both established a beautiful tradition of spending Friday evenings in the cozy confines of your apartment, indulging in a delightful combination of film, pizza, and delectable treats.

This tradition had become an unwavering commitment over the past three and a half years— a steadfast ritual that neither of you dared to skip.

Even when circumstances forced you to be apart, such as being away filming, you still respected this tradition. You would connect via Skype or Zoom, syncing up the start of the movie in your respective locations. As the film played out on your screens, you would engage in lively discussions, intertwining conversations about the movie with updates on your day.

You guessed it was one of the things that made your relationship work so well — the commitment and the effort you both put in right from the beginning.

In the early days, your friends warned you that dating another actor would be a recipe for disaster. They believed that the constant filming and conflicting schedules would pose insurmountable challenges, leaving little room for quality time together. But those naysayers couldn't have been more wrong. 

Your relationship with Ben flowed so easily. Of course, there have been setbacks along the way, but you have faced them together. Like a team.

And you have never been happier. 

He understood you on a level that no one else did. He listened to your thoughts, your dreams, and your fears without judgment or interruption. With him, you felt comfortable opening up about anything and everything, knowing that he would always provide a safe space for you to share. He seemed to know your needs before you even expressed them, always anticipating how to make you feel loved and supported. He was attentive, empathetic, and patient, consistently demonstrating that he genuinely cared about your happiness. It was refreshing and exhilarating to actually feel seen and heard. He was everything you had ever wanted in a romantic partner.

Now, going back to your movie night… Things weren’t going the way you expected.

“I thought we could bend the rules a bit tonight,” Ben suggested once you were settled on the couch, pizza at the ready, and Netflix on the screen.

Intrigued yet cautious, you paused your scrolling and fixed your gaze on him. “What do you mean?” you asked, confused, not understanding what he meant.

His arm casually draped over the back of the couch as he got closer to you; his eyes sparkled with mischief, and a mischievous grin played on his lips.

You could tell he was up to no good.

“Maybe we could watch a TV show instead?” he suggested, the innocent tone of his voice didn’t match his face. “Your show. The latest episode aired just yesterday,” he clarified. 

A groan escaped your lips. “Really, Ben? You know I don’t like to see myself on TV.”

But then, he unleashed his puppy dog eyes and his best pout, and you were completely under his spell. 

It was as if his eyes held an invisible power, drawing you closer and coaxing a smile from your lips. Surrender was inevitable; his adorable charm had effortlessly won you over.

You rolled your eyes. “Alright.” You accepted the surrender.

A triumphant grin spread across his face as he pumped his fist in the air, a glimmer of excitement shining in his eyes. He eagerly pulled you closer, wrapping you in his embrace, and planting a tender kiss on your lips.

This was another thing you loved about your boyfriend—how supportive he was of your career. It didn't matter if your roles were small in movies, TV shows, or any project you were part of; he was always genuinely thrilled to see them. He was genuinely proud of every accomplishment you made, no matter how big or small. The sight of his radiant smile as he watched you on-screen never failed to fill you with immense joy. His unwavering support was a constant reminder that you were truly blessed to have him in your life.

You were the same with him. Just as he cheered you on in your acting career, you reciprocated his unwavering support in his. From the smallest role to the most significant breakthrough, you were always there, eagerly anticipating his performances on the big screen. The excitement in your heart swelled as you witnessed his talent come alive, immersing yourself in the characters he portrayed.

You cherished the moments when you saw him on screen—the familiar sound of his voice, the spark in his eyes, and the passion he brought to every role. His talent captivated you, just as it did to countless others. And with each new project he took on, your admiration for his craft grew deeper.

It wasn't just about the successes. You were there for each other during the auditions, the callbacks, and the moments of self-doubt. You provided the other a shoulder to lean on, offering encouragement and reminding each other of your incredible talent when you both needed it most. You understood the industry's ups and downs, and your belief in your abilities never wavered.

“Alright, alright,” you chuckled, gently pushing him back as he started peppering your face with sloppy kisses. “I’ve already agreed; no need for bribes.”

Ben chuckled and planted one last peck on your cheek before settling comfortably on the couch. He grabbed the remote and switched the streaming platform, searching for your show.

The show was called ‘Behind Closed Doors’. It delved into the tumultuous life of Amelia Hartfield, a young woman forced into an unwanted marriage with Sebastian Whitmore, the scion of a wealthy family, all due to dire financial circumstances. Not only did Amelia harbor reservations about this union, but her own sister harbored a forbidden love for her soon-to-be husband and was willing to go to any lengths to eliminate her as a rival. 

As the opening credits rolled on the screen, Ben's leg began to bounce with fervent anticipation.

“Why are you so excited? It’s just me.”

Ben turned to you with a playful grin. “It’s not just you. It’s Amelia and the mess her life is. She was forced to marry a man she doesn’t love, and, in case you haven’t watched the episode from last week, which you haven’t, her sister tried to kill her! If it wasn’t because Sebastian was there, she would be dead!”

You chuckled. “You know she can’t die, right? She’s the main character.”

He playfully rolled his eyes. “Always so humble.”

“Anyways, Sebastian admitted to his friend that his feelings for Amelia are genuine. And guess what? Isabella, Sebastian's childhood friend who secretly harbored feelings for him, overheard his confession. And at the end of the episode, she joined forces with Amelia's sister to hatch a sinister plan to end Amelia's life.”

You found it amusing how he narrated the story as if you weren't already familiar with every twist and turn.

“I think you got yourself too invested in this show,” you chuckled, attempting to snatch the remote from his grasp. “You’re starting to take this to another level.”

“No, no. I promise I won’t get too caught up! I promise!” He gripped your waist tightly, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his childish antics.

Gently extracting yourself from his tight grasp, you managed to retrieve the remote from his hand and playfully held it out of his reach. “Alright, Mr. Overly Enthusiastic, let's watch the episode. But you better behave, or I’ll turn it off.”

Ben's eyes sparkled with mischief as he feigned innocence. “I always behave. I promise to keep my reactions in check.”

You settled back on the couch, leaning against Ben's side as he draped his arm around your shoulder.

As the episode unfolded, you started to regret agreeing to watch it. You remember filming it. At the end, your character, Amelia, and Sebastian, who was portrayed by Bill Skarsgård, laid bare their emotions and consummated their desires in a rather explicit manner, devoid of any subtle undertones.

Both being actors, you and Ben came up with a mutual agreement to disclose whenever a steamy scene was to be filmed. This arrangement was born out of a desire to fortify the foundation of trust between you both. And so, even if it is acted, no one wants to see their partner being intimate with someone else. You both have followed this rule for years, but for some reason, you forgot to mention this scene to Ben. And you knew it was going to lead to an awkward and uncomfortable moment, and, quite possibly, into a fight you didn't want to have.

It was too late to turn it off now.

As the scene unfolded on the screen, a knot formed in your stomach. You could sense the tension building, knowing that the explicit nature of the scene would undoubtedly make things awkward between you and Ben. Your gaze discreetly darted towards him, studying his reactions with keen interest.

At first, he appeared engrossed in the storyline, his eyes fixated on the screen. But as the scene progressed, his expression shifted, and you could see a flicker of discomfort in his eyes. His grip on your shoulder tightened ever so slightly, and you knew he had realized the nature of the scene.

A whirlwind of emotions swept through your mind. On one hand, you empathized with Ben's potential unease, realizing that you would feel the same if the roles were reversed. On the other hand, a pang of guilt pierced your heart for neglecting to give him a heads-up about the explicit content. You desperately wanted to shield him from any unnecessary discomfort.

When the episode ended, you reached for the remote and turned off the TV. Swallowing your own apprehension, you took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to address the situation. “Honey... I'm sorry. I should have told you about this scene beforehand. It completely slipped my mind.”

Ben's face remained impassive, his gaze deliberately averted from yours as he digested your words. A heavy silence settled between you, filled with unspoken tension. The air in the room suddenly felt thick, and you could sense his growing frustration.

Finally, he let out a sigh and turned to face you, his expression tinged with disappointment. “You should have told me, Y/N. We made a promise, remember? To always let each other know about intimate scenes in our projects. I thought we had each other's backs.”

Guilt washed over you as his words sank in. He was right. You had broken the agreement you both had made, and now you were facing the consequences of that oversight. You had let him down, and the weight of your mistake hung heavily in the room.

“I know, Ben,” you said, your voice filled with remorse. “I messed up, and I'm truly sorry. It was an oversight on my part, but I truly forgot. I understand why you're upset, and I want you to know that I didn't do it intentionally. I value our trust, and I don't want to jeopardize it.”

Ben's gaze softened slightly, but his disappointment was still evident. “Trust is important to me, Y/N. It's the foundation of our relationship, both on and off the screen,” he expressed, his voice carrying a tinge of sorrow. “When we made that agreement, it was about ensuring that we never had to see each other being intimate with someone else. It's not just about the physical act, but the emotional impact it can have.” 

For a brief moment, you thought this would be solved without an argument, but then he spoke again.

“I mean, do you think it was fun for me watching you naked, moaning under Bill Skarsgård while you seemed to actually enjoy it?”

“Actually enjoy it? Are you serious right now?” You raised your voice, your body heating up with anger. “I can't believe you would even suggest that I found any pleasure in that scene,” you fired back, your frustration seeping into your words. “As an actor, it's my job to portray the character and the emotions they go through. Just because it looked intimate on screen doesn't mean it was enjoyable for me. You, of all people, should understand this. It was a professional commitment, and I take my work seriously.”

Your heart raced with a mix of anger and hurt. You had always been open and honest with each other, but this situation was testing the boundaries of trust and understanding. The fact that Ben would question your commitment to the relationship and your professionalism stung deeply.

“Oh, so I’m the problem now? I’m the one overreacting?”

You let out an exasperated sigh. “That’s not what I said. Are you even listening to me?”

“I’m listening. And you’re acting as if it’s okay that you filmed this and didn’t tell me about it.”

“I’ve already told you that I forgot!”

“It’s a sex scene, Y/N! How on earth does something like that just slip your mind?” His body tensed, and he began pacing the living room, intensifying the already charged atmosphere.

The room crackled with mounting tension as Ben's frustration reached its peak. His restless footsteps reverberated, amplifying his exasperation. The sheer force of his anger seemed to permeate the air, causing a tumult of emotions to swirl within you.

“I mean, come on, Y/N,” Ben continued, his frustration evident in his voice. “Bill Skarsgård is like every woman's fantasy. He's tall, handsome, and let's not forget those intense blue eyes of his. It's no wonder women all over the world swoon over him.”

You crossed your arms, annoyance bubbling up inside you. “Are you seriously comparing yourself to Bill? Is that what this is about? You being jealous?”

Ben stopped in his tracks, his eyes narrowing as he glanced at you. “You can't deny that he’s attractive, can you? I mean, let's be real here. He's a Hollywood heartthrob, and women drool over him.”

“Don’t make this about Bill or any other external factors. This is between you and me. I'm committed to you, and my love and dedication for you don't waver just because I have to portray intimate scenes on screen.”

“Is it just an intimate scene, or there’s more to it, Y/N?” Ben's frustration seemed to dissipate slightly, replaced by a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. He paused for a moment before speaking again, his voice softer this time. “You and Bill have spent a lot of time together on set, and it's natural for connections to form. Do you think he sees you solely as a friend and co-star?”

You let out a heavy breath, recognizing the depth of his insecurities. “Ben, I understand why you might have these concerns, but I want to assure you that my relationship with Bill is strictly professional. We work together, we act together, but that's where it ends. Just as I have complete trust in you, I expect the same trust from you. Accusing me of having feelings for Bill based on a scene we filmed is unfair.”

Your words hung in the air, the weight of the situation becoming more apparent. The room fell into silence as both of you processed the intensity of the argument. You could see the conflict in Ben's eyes—a battle between his insecurities and his love for you.

He let out a frustrated sigh, his voice laced with desperation. “I know it's irrational, but I can't help but imagine all the things that could happen on set. You think I haven’t seen the comments of people praising your chemistry? Emotions can get blurred. It scares me, Y/N.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to your boyfriend’s words. You had never seen him like this before, vulnerable and scared. It broke your heart to see the person you loved so deeply consumed by jealousy and fear.

Drawing nearer to him, you reached out and gently took his hand in yours, hoping to offer him some comfort. “Honey, I understand that it's natural to feel insecure sometimes, especially in our line of work. But you have to trust me when I say that my heart belongs to you and you alone. There is no one else who holds the place you do in my life.”

Ben's grip on your hand tightened, and his gaze met yours, searching for reassurance.

“Ben, you are more than enough for me, and I love you with all my heart. I chose you, and I choose you every single day. I want to build a future with you, and nothing will ever change that,” you continued, your voice filled with sincerity. “I can't control what others say or the fantasies they may have, but I can assure you that my feelings for you are unwavering. I'm committed to our relationship, and I want us to face any challenges together. If you ever feel insecure or have concerns, I'm here to listen and support you.”

Tears trickled down Ben's cheeks as he listened to your heartfelt words. The weight of his insecurities seemed to lessen, replaced by a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“I'm sorry, my love,” he whispered, his voice filled with remorse. “I let my fears get the best of me, and I allowed them to cloud my judgment.”

You gently brushed away his tears, your touch soothing. “We all have moments of insecurity, and it's okay. What matters is that we address them and work through them together.”

Ben nodded, his eyes filled with love and relief. “I never want to lose you, Y/N,” he admitted with a shaky voice. “You're my everything.”

“And you're mine,” you whispered before pulling him into a warm embrace.

A sensation of calm rushed through you as you held each other tight. At that moment, the world seemed to melt away, leaving only the two of you in a cocoon of serenity.

“Besides,” you began as you stepped back, “Bill doesn’t stand a chance next to you.”

“And why’s that?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, his voice tinged with curiosity.

“Well, by now, you should already be aware that I like my men with floppy dark hair, beautiful dark eyes, and, most importantly… British.”

A soft chuckle escaped Ben's lips, his eyes twinkling with delight. “Ah, so it's the accent that does it for you, huh?”

You nodded, playfully poking his side. “Absolutely. It's impossible to resist.”

He pulled you closer, his arms enveloping you in a warm embrace. “Well, lucky for me, I happen to possess that irresistible quality. Though, I must warn you, it can be quite addictive.”

A genuine smile blossomed on your face, the warmth of the moment washing over you. “Yes, you definitely do.”

Ben’s lips drew closer to yours, the warmth of his breath brushed against your cheek, causing your heart to quicken in response. With a gentle touch, his lips grazed yours, leaving behind a tantalizing blend of mint and his unmistakable essence, intoxicating your senses.

Breaking the kiss, you couldn't resist the mischievous grin that crept onto your lips.

“Oh, and have I mentioned what an exceptional kisser you are? You certainly have a way with it,” you playfully teased, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively. 

A chuckle escaped him, his cheeks turning a shade of crimson. “You're really boosting my ego here, sweetheart.”

“Just stating the facts... Oh, and should I also mention your incredible skill with your hands, like—”

He cut you off, closing the gap between you again. His lips molding perfectly against yours, as if they were made for each other. And in a surge of fervor, the kiss deepened, growing more passionate and filled with intensity.

Your fingers traced the contours of his face, while his touch ignited a fire within you, sending shivers down your spine.

With a swift motion, Ben's strong arms enveloped your thighs, effortlessly lifting you off the ground. You eagerly wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling an exhilarating surge of warmth and electricity pass between you. His hand tightened its grip on your body as your kiss intensified, and your fingers instinctively tangled themselves in his hair. A soft moan escaped his lips as you tugged gently on his silky locks.

Reluctantly, you broke the kiss, your foreheads lightly brushing. Both of you were left breathless, but your hearts overflowed with contentment. The worries and insecurities that had clouded your conversation melted away.

“I love you,” he breathed, his words melting against your lips.

“I love you too, Ben,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. “You mean the world to me.”

He lowered you back to the ground, but his arms remained securely wrapped around you. 

“Wanna watch that movie like we originally planned?”

Your boyfriend shook his head. “I have other ideas in mind.”

You noticed the glint of mischief sparking in his onyx eyes. 

“Oh, and what would those ideas be?” You inquired, playing along.

A devilish smile played on his lips as he leaned in, planting a trail of kisses on your neck. The intensity of his touch awakened a fiery passion within you.

“You, in bed, naked, under me… and on top of me. In any position…No limits, no boundaries. Just pure, unadulterated pleasure,” he murmured, his voice low and husky against your ear.

Heat flushed through your body. Your heart pounded in your chest, sending a thrilling shiver down your spine at the mere sound of his words. The rush of excitement that overwhelmed you was intoxicating.

"Sounds like a perfect plan to me," you whispered, your voice filled with desire.

He lifted you effortlessly into his arms again, and carried you toward the bedroom where passion consumed both of you for the rest of the night.

#ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes fanfic #ben barnes fic #ben barnes one shot

[hottpinkpenguin]

"Just because all the others never showed you love doesn't mean no one ever will." This one with the Darkling with angst to fluff? Like maybe he keeps pushing the reader away because he's new to affection and doesn't know what to do?

A/n: this request felt so spot on for our favored tortured villain <3 thank you for the message anon!!

Darkling X Reader Word Count: 1656 | Warnings: not proofread, brief mentions of battle, hints at past abuse if you squint, super angst turns to tooth-rotting fluff

Note: dorogoy is the Russian for 'sweetheart' “Leave us.” 

The Black General strode in, his eyes murderous and his fists balled at his sides. Despite the warm summer night, the chill in his voice was enough to send a shiver up everyone’s spine. The two Healers rose from the sides of your cot where they’d been tending your injuries. They bowed quickly and kept their eyes glued to the ground as they scuttled out of the tent, leaving you and the Darkling alone. 

When the sounds of the retreating Healers’ footsteps had been swallowed in the gentle murmur of the camp outside, his eyes finally met yours. He looked as if he were about to break apart, his body practically abuzz with barely contained rage. 

“Aleks, I’m fine,” you chided him, rolling your eyes at his dramatics. “It’s just a burn. I’ll survive.”

Darkness blossomed around him, swallowing the dim candlelight on the inside of your tent. His jaw was clenched so tightly you worried he’d break a tooth, the veins in his forehead pulsing as he tried to regain control of himself. You’d seen his power a thousand times, but even still it startled you. You smoothed your face into a mask of calm, refusing to show him your instinctual fear. 

“You almost died, dorogy.” He sank down on the edge of your cot as the shadows receded into him like water soaks into a sponge. “You are decidedly not fine.” 

You smiled at him, shifting slightly to make room for him on the cot next to you. He was watching you, his eyes drinking you in. You could hear his next question before he even asked it. 

“Are the Healers treating you fairly?” The whisper of a threat hung off Aleksander’s words. You knew that his fear was that the other Grisha would shun you because of his affection for you. A fear you’d tried to quell a thousand times before. If only he knew how terrified the others were of hurting you, of disappointing you, or of otherwise mistreating you… 

You reached out, running your fingertips lightly along the back of his hand. He watched you, waiting for an answer. 

“They’re treating me perfectly,” you assured him emphatically. “I have everything I need.” 

He didn’t respond immediately, transfixed by the circular patterns you wove along the back of his hand. His eyes glazed over, his shoulders dropping slightly as he let the facade of the Black General relax in your presence. You watched him carefully, wondering how he managed to maintain such composure and control in the midst of battle. You’d seen him out there, on the battlefield: an avenging angel, all rage and cruelty, his black kefta fluttering like a flag, cutting down wave after wave of Fjerdan. He’d barely flinched, barely shown any sign of his powers draining him. It filled you with a strange combination of sorrow, pride, and lust. 

“Aleks?” Your voice, though quiet and gentle, snapped the moment like a dry twig. He looked up at you expectantly. “Are you alright?” 

You could tell as soon as the words left your lips that you’d said something wrong. He recoiled away from you as if he were the one that had been burned. His eyes widened in a mixture of shock and horror, followed immediately by self-loathing. You reached out, but not quick enough. He rose from the cot, stepping away from you. 

“How can you ask that of me? After what you saw today? After what I put you through? You want to know if I am alright?” His composure was unraveling, his dark eyes turning into bottomless pits of fury with nowhere to go but inward. He’d once told you that the most unexpected part of living so long was the extent to which he had come to loathe himself. You hadn’t understood it then, but now you caught a glimpse of just how deep Aleksander’s malice towards himself actually went. 

The shadows sprung from his fingers with ease, devouring the tent’s light and swarming around you like bees. The air around you crackled with their presence, although they didn’t touch you. Across the tent, consumed by a darkness so complete he almost vanished entirely, Aleksander shook with the explosive force of his power. His chin was tipped back and his mouth open as if screaming, although the only thing pouring out of his throat was more darkness. His eyes lost their whites, now just two blackened sockets, lifeless and unholy-looking. 

Terror seized you. Your heart jolted as adrenaline ricocheted through your veins. You knew Aleksander would never hurt you, although you weren’t sure how much  of the man you loved was still with you in that tent. 

You called out to him, but somehow your voice vanished in the space between you two. As if you’d been plunged underwater, your scream sounded distorted and dull. Aleksander didn’t even flinch. 

Wincing through the pain, you flung your legs over the edge of the cot. The shadows made way for you like a river parts around rocks. The hairs on the back of your arms and neck stood up straight, your instincts screaming at you to run! Leave! Kill him! Get out! 

Summoning your strength and with a sharp inhale, you forced your legs to hold your weight as you stood. The burns that climbed up the left side of your body from your kneecap to your jaw felt white hot, but you grit your teeth against the urge to pass out and took a shaky step forward. Again, the shadows pouring out of Aleksander moved to allow your passage. A distant part of you idly wondered what the rest of the camp could see, if anything, of the spectacle unfolding around you. 

Your feet almost slipped out from under you in the damp grass. Your reflexes dulled by exhaustion and pain, you lost your balance and pitched forward. You struck out with your arms to brace your fall, twisting your face away from the direction of impact. There was a moment of free fall before you felt strong arms catching you, artfully avoiding your burns. 

Aleksander lifted you easily off your feet in a sweeping motion. You didn’t open your eyes until you felt your back settle against the cot. When you did, a familiar face hovered over you. All trace of his shadows gone, all you saw now was a man. A leader, a saint maybe, a King certainly: but a man still, exhausted and confused. 

Before he had a chance to speak, you pressed a finger to his lips. Your head was spinning with pain, but you forced yourself to stay present. 

“I’m not afraid of you, Aleks,” you insisted. You held his gaze defiantly, challenging him to argue with you. For once in his stubborn life, he held his tongue and let you finish. “I don’t resent you for who you are. I don’t fight because you command me as my general, or even because you ask me as my lover. I fight beside you because I love you, and I believe in what we’re doing.” 

For all his wisdom, you knew that there were parts of your heart that Aleksander would never understand. You’d accepted as much a long time ago. But you’d be damned if you let him rip himself apart over it. 

He swallowed thickly, as if trying to take in what you’d told him. 

“I don’t… understand. How you can feel that way. About… someone like me. Someone who is what I am. There’s… sometimes-most of the time- it doesn’t seem like there’s enough left of me to love.” You let him finish, his words coming out chopped and halting. It seemed to take almost as much out of him as his powers did, and the sincerity with which he spoke made you smile gently. When he was finished, you reached up and cupped his cheek, your thumb carefully tracing the ragged volcra scar that bisected his cheek. 

“Aleks. Just because all the others never showed you love doesn’t mean no one ever will.” 

You watched as his memory clicked into place, recognizing the very words he’d said to you the night he’d finally gotten you to tell him about the others. The men before him. The ones who’d tried and failed to love you, and the ones who’d only wanted to hurt you. Those had been the words he’d said, and the reason you’d fallen in love with him. You hadn’t realized how long you’d been waiting to give those words back to him. 

He marveled at you for a moment as if seeing you for the first time before he spoke. “I wasn’t talking about any others,” he said quietly. 

You shook your head, smiling. “Of course you were,” you answered. “The other lives, the other versions of yourself. That’s all you talk about because it’s all you know. You’ve lived with yourself for so long you’ve forgotten that there’s any way to feel about yourself but hatred.” 

You let your hand drop, a sudden wave of exhaustion crashing over you. He noticed, catching your hand halfway down and guiding it to the top of your sheets. 

“Dorogoy,” he started, hesitating a moment on the pet name he’d given you. “Where have you been all my lives?” 

You beamed at him, finally hearing a break in the tension of his voice. He smiled back - not a broad smile, but enough to touch his eyes. 

“Right here, Aleks,” you replied as you let your eyes drift closed for sleep. 

You didn’t let yourself fully succumb to rest until you felt his warmth lay down next to you, his arms ever so carefully snaking around your torso. He tucked you closer to him, and you buried your head in his neck, breathing in the scent and the feel of him. You felt yourself slide off into sleep just as he started singing you an old Ravkan lullaby…

#darkling #darkling imagine #darkling x reader #darkling x y/n #darkling x you #shadow and bone #shadow and bone requests #darkling requests #general kirigan #general kirigan imagine #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova imagine #ben barnes #ben barnes x you #ben barnes imagine #bin bons

[padfootagain]

Caught Red-Handed

Hi! I am answering two similar requests that were sent my way a few weeks ago. Anons requested that Ben and Reader would get caught while making out by the Shadow and Bone cast.

The fic was a little short when I wrote only what you had requested, so I’ve added a cute domestic scene at the beginning. I hope you don’t mind!

Thank you for all your sweet messages anon, they made me very happy!!! I hope you like this piece I wrote for you! Tell me what you think about it :)

****

Pairing: Ben Barnes x reader

Warning: fluff, tooth-rooting fluff even, some making out but no nsfw content

Summary: You and Ben are happy to be reunited when you come visit him on set in Budapest, while he’s shooting Shadow and Bone. Maybe, you’re even a little too happy, and you get caught by the cast being a little too… passionate.

Word Count: 2882

There is something awfully lovely about mornings.

Or, to be more precise… there was something awfully lovely about this particular morning.

It wasn’t about the scenery, though. It wasn’t about the young sun coming up, still shy and yet already promising a warm day; nor was it about the glistening rooftops of Budapest. It wasn’t about the delicate light coming in your bedroom that painted the walls golden, and it wasn’t about the beautiful architecture of the town.

It wasn’t about the hour either. It was barely 6 am. You could have wished for a little more rest. The covers were warm and soft on your skin, the mattress comfortable, you could have been reluctant to get up. You could have played the infamous five-more-minutes game. No, it wasn’t about all of this.

Actually, it was about that smell of coffee that filled the apartment. It was about the soft humming you could hear, coming from the kitchen, in a deep and warm voice. It was about the quiet rummaging, the scraping of a spoon against glass, and the rhythmic hit of a knife against a plate. You smiled before opening your eyes.

It was about the man who was preparing breakfast for the two of you.

You let out a yawn before finally opening your eyes. His side of the bed was empty already, but it was alright. You knew he was there. You could hear him in the kitchen.

You still let your hand roam across the empty space by your side, out of habits. After two months being separated by thousands of miles, it was normal to feel like all this was a dream.

It wasn’t though. You truly were in Hungary, you had arrived the previous evening. Ben had come to pick you up at the airport despite his busy schedule. Shooting a Netflix TV show was, after all, a lot of work. Still, he took time to be with you. He always did…

You had flown across the world to join him on the set of Shadow and Bone, and would stay for a couple of weeks. These were your vacations, and you couldn’t be more satisfied about them.

You picked up some clothes on your way out of the room, and soon headed to the kitchen to find Ben cutting fruits and preparing toasts, a warm cup of coffee by his side on the counter. He kept on humming and swaying as he cut an apple in slices, setting the pieces in two different plates. You noticed that he was wearing his earphones, thus not noticing you as you approached. It gave you a moment to lean against the doorframe, and enjoy the sight of your boyfriend standing there, in the kitchen bathed in early-morning light. He was wearing his sweatpants but no shirt or t-shirt, and you took your time to admire his back and shoulders, study the muscles of his arms moving with each fall and rise of the knife. You took in the sight of his dishevelled hair, and his naked feet, and the pure intimacy of the scene. There was something gentle in this domestic moment, outrageously simple, and you reckoned that was what made it all beautiful.

He was surprised when you wrapped your arms around him, pressing your chest against his naked back and dropping a kiss on his shoulder.

He winced, taking off his earbuds.

“Your hands are freezing!” he cried with a laugh.

You pulled away a little, unfolding your arms so your hands wouldn’t touch his chest anymore.

“Sorry,” you apologized with a bright smile and a small voice.

But Ben was merely laughing, and he took one of your hands in his.

“That’s okay. I don’t mind.”

He brought your hand against his lips to drop a sweet kiss on your knuckles. But when you touched him with your free hand again, he jumped and pulled away completely, fleeing.

“Ha! No, okay… I do mind. I do mind, you’re too cold. That shouldn’t be allowed, at this point,” he protested, laughing more than ever.

You were struggling not to laugh as well, and tried to pout instead.

“I can’t even touch you!” you protested.

He handed you your cup of coffee as an answer. You were finally facing him, and you noticed the dark bags under his eyes, the way his eyelids fell more than usual on his black eyes. He was not fully awake yet. But then, he didn’t seem to have taken a shower for now, which explained his drowsy look.

“Warm your icy fingers first. Then you can touch me all you want, but no more ice cubes!”

You accepted the cup of coffee, the warm porcelain burning your skin. You let Ben stand before the counter again, before teasing him.

“I can touch you… all I want?” you asked with a flirtatious smile, bumping your hip into his.

You saw his cheeks reddening, and the way he was biting back a large grin. He picked up the knife again, and resumed his cutting.

“Now… that could be arranged.”

You let out a giggle, before kissing his cheek. He turned to kiss your lips.

“But not before tonight. No time for shenanigans this morning.”

“Really?” you pouted again.

“Don’t give me that look,” he chuckled, trying to ignore you, but miserably failing to do so. “We just have time to eat some breakfast, get a shower, and then we are needed on set. Or well… I am needed on set. You’ll just spend your day distracting me.”

“A shower?”

“Don’t. Start. Besides… I thought last night was enough to get us through at least twelve hours without you giving me that look again.”

It was your time to shy away, and Ben’s turn to smile contently as he tortured you.

“Right… you’re right.”

“Now, I’ve made breakfast. Let’s hurry! Besides, everyone is asking about you, and when you’re joining us on set, and they keep on repeating how they miss you… bla bla bla,” he pulled a ridiculous face, full of disgust, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ha yes… that must be so annoying that your colleagues love me more than they love you,” you chimed, and Ben gave you his best villain stare.

“I do not find it funny.”

But it made you laugh even more, and he broke out of character in a mere second.

You took another sip of coffee while Ben was wiping his hands and putting the knife down on the table. You tentatively touch his arm with just the tip of one of your fingers.

“Too cold still?” you asked, making your voice shy.

Ben shook his head, his smile still on his lips.

“No, it’s fine now.”

“YEEEEEES!” you cried, rushing to hug him and almost tackling him to the ground. He was back at laughing like crazy.

You held him tightly, releasing him just for a second so he could get comfortable and wrap his arms around you as well.

“Thank you for making breakfast,” you mumbled against the skin of his bare shoulder.

“You’re welcome, darling.”

He dropped a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispered, holding you tight.

You smiled, pressing your cheek harder against his collar bone.

“Me too. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

“Or well… actually, I’ve missed your shirts. Like this one I’m wearing… they’re very comfy.”

“I hate you…”

“Y/N!”

Three steps.

You only needed to take three steps on set for everyone to be aware of your presence, apparently. You could thank Jessie and her happy cry for that.

She rushed to hug you, and you welcomed her embrace with a bright laugh.

“Hi! It’s so good to see you!”

“Ben kept you away from us for way too long!” Kit added, giving you a hug as well.

“I did not!” Ben defended himself. “She’s the one who didn’t want to see any of you.”

“Now, we know that’s not true!” Jessie replied, sticking out her tongue.

“I was just busy with work,” you explained. “I couldn’t go on vacation before now.”

“Excuses, excuses…” Freddy shook his head.

It was strange to see everyone in full costume again. You spent your morning chatting with your friends, depending on who was waiting for a scene. Ben left you with the Crows to get ready, and you didn’t see him again before lunchtime. Or well, you did see him when you watched him from afar while he was working on a scene but you remained unnoticed, to avoid bothering him.

He fell on a chair by your side for lunch, heaving a tired sigh. It was a merry time, full of laughs and joy and stupid jokes. Jessie took several pictures of you and Ben, and you looked at them fondly on your phone after she shared them with the whole group. Ben leaned closer to look at the screen too.

“You look adorable,” he admitted as he stared at your bright smile.

“I’m not sure how I feel about these scars of yours though,” you teased, pointing at the large marks that had been added across his face.

“It’s to show how much of a bad guy I am. I am tough. Tough guys have scars, you know?”

“Sure,” you laughed. “The Darkling, for sure, is a very bad guy. You, on the other hand, are probably the cutest person I’ve ever met. You’re the opposite of a bad boy.”

He heaved a dramatic sigh, shaking his head slightly as he stared at nothing.

“And then… all my sex-appeal was gone for good…”

You laughed at him, and the mere sound brought a smile to his lips, the kinds he couldn’t refrain.

“I wouldn’t say that, now. We still have some plans for tonight, remember?”

“Plans? Us?”

You looked around quickly, but no one was paying attention to your conversation with Ben. You leaned closer to whisper in his ear.

“You did promise that I would touch you all I want…”

Despite his make-up, you saw his ears and cheeks redden fiercely.

“True… I won’t have the scars anymore by then though. I won’t look like a bad boy anymore.”

“I’ve always preferred kind souls, anyway,” you replied with a grin, before you would drop a peck on his lips.

You rested your head on his shoulder while you listened to Danielle and Amita chat happily, and were disappointed when it was time for him to go back to work.

You walked with him across the main building, hand in hand, accompanying him to the set. He rubbed circles against the back of your hand, the gesture tender and soothing. It was quiet in this corridor, everyone either finishing their lunch or going on set as well. People were busy. Meanwhile, you took slow steps while Ben was rambling about some movie he had watched that week. You forgot for a moment where you were: in a foreign country, in a building you didn’t know, where people created fantastic worlds out of their imagination. Only when you looked at Ben and saw him in full costume, with dark marks across his face, did you remember that he was at work. It was strange, really… the way he always made you forget everything else in the world whenever he was near.

“You’re alright?” he asked with a frown. “Am I being boring?”

“No, of course not. I’m sorry, I was just… thinking.”

“A penny for your thoughts?”

“It’s just… I’m just happy you’re here.”

Ben offered you a tender smile, slowing down his steps until the two of you came to a stop. The corridor was empty, silent. You could hear the distant whisper of busy rooms, but the air around you was still. Ben raised his hand to cup your cheek, his thumb tracing tender patterns across your warm skin.

“I’m happy you’re here too. Even if… you’ve abandoned me all morning.”

You laughed at his teasing, and he did the same.

“Now… again… it’s not my fault if I’m everyone’s favourite!”

“I highly doubt you are, darling. But if it makes you happy…”

You stuck out your tongue.

“I can assure you though that you are someone’s favourite,” Ben added through a chuckle, “if not everyone’s.”

“Whose?”

He let go of your hand to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you closer to him.

“You are my favourite.”

You let out a bright laugh.

“Considering that I’m your girlfriend… I do hope so.”

“It was a tough competition though…”

“Do you really want to sleep on the couch tonight, my love?”

He rested his forehead against yours as he laughed.

“What about that plan of yours, huh? I thought you had planned some very sinful activities…”

He bumped his nose against yours a couple of times, until it would make you smile.

“Well… for now all I have are plans. Nothing more.”

He hummed, and you closed your eyes. Because you could feel the way he held you tighter against him, the way his fingers were caressing your cheek, his thumb travelling downwards to brush your upper lip. You were so close, your two breaths mingled in the small space between your faces. Your heart had sped up, and so had his.

“We both know those plans will happen though,” he assured you.

“Really?”

But he didn’t answer; he merely closed the gap between your mouths, and you wouldn’t have been able to find any argument against these plans of yours as he did so.

You kissed for a long time, your fingers lost in his hair despite the fact that he was needed on set. And the more time passed by, the more heated your kiss became… lips against lips dancing together, capturing, grabbing, pulling, crashing…

When his lips left your bruised ones to travel down to your neck, you had forgotten how to breathe altogether. He left a trail of goosebumps in his wake as he dropped warm, hungry open-mouthed kisses down the side of your neck, all the way to that sensitive spot at the birth of your shoulder. He slipped his hand under your shirt, warm fingers running across your back until he teasingly moved his hand to your ribs, his thumbs rubbing the soft skin. You couldn’t refrain a gasp as his fingers grazed the edge of your bra, and you held tightly on his shoulders for balance, your knees suddenly feeling dangerously weak…

You were, however, in the middle of a corridor, and you were well aware that things couldn’t go further than that. So, you held his face in your palms, pulling him away just enough to kiss him again…

… until you heard some shocked cries from the end of the corridor.

You broke away just enough to see Archie, Freddy, Amita, Kit and Jessie all shouting dramatically and covering their eyes.

“How disgusting!” Archie shouted.

“My eyes! My eyes!” Jessie added.

And all of them added their own cry of despair. Ben rolled his eyes, clenching his jaw in an annoyed gesture that remained filled with fondness. Meanwhile, you were giggling uncontrollably, burying your face in his shoulder to hide your embarrassment.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough!” Ben called, struggling not to laugh, and blushing profusely.

“Can we look now? Have you stopped?” Amita asked, peeking through her fingers.

“They make rooms for that kind of stuff, you know?!” Kit exclaimed.

But soon they were unable to refrain their laughter, Jessie being the first to break out of character.

“Alright, alright… let’s go back to work,” Ben replied, shaking his head playfully while you finally broke your embrace and put a step between you and your boyfriend.

“You might need to go back to get your hair done before going back though, mate,” Archie teased, pointing at Ben’s hair that you had, indeed, turned into a proper mess of dark locks.

It made all of you laugh, but Ben could hardly deny that it was more than necessary.

“All of you are just jealous I have the most wonderful woman on Earth just for myself,” he replied, as your friends started to walk towards the two of you again.

“Absolutely not. We just found your PDAs insufferable,” Freddy replied.

“Really?” Ben asked back, rising an eyebrow.

He looked at you with such a mischievous glint in his dark eyes, you knew he meant trouble…

“Kids, these days… they’re a little prude, aren’t they?” he teased his friends, nodding towards them while still staring at you, making them all laugh and exclaim various excuses and arguments to defend themselves.

“You’re right… but they’re young, that’s why,” you nodded. “They still have much to learn…”

“Why don’t we traumatize them some more, then?” he offered, closing the space between the two of you again.

He wore this shit-eating grin again, and his dark eyes glimmered with mischief and something dangerous…

You nodded.

“Yes, we should…”

You were interrupted by a pair of familiar lips against yours, as he held your face in both his hands…

His castmates started their shenanigans again, but you merely smiled into the kiss this time, unwilling to pull away.

After all… you liked it when Ben was full of this kind of mischief…

#ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes oneshot #ben barnes imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #writing

[benbarnesakamyhusband]

Coming home

Ben Barnes x reader

Summary: coming home after busy day at work can be hard, but there's one person she'll always come back to.

As Y/n opens the front door, she is greeted by the familiar warmth of her home. The subtle aroma of a homecooked meal wafts through the air, drawing her further inside. She walks past the foyer, her steps guided by the soft glow of ambient lighting.

Her heart skips a beat as she catches a glimpse of her husband, Ben Barnes, standing in the living room. His presence immediately puts a smile on her face, as if all the stress of the day instantly melts away. The way his eyes light up when he sees her tells her that he has missed her just as much as she has missed him.

Y/n drops her bag by the door and rushes into his arms, feeling the comfort of his embrace. She buries her face in his chest, taking in his scent, and feeling an overwhelming sense of contentment. It's a feeling she cherishes - the feeling of being home with the person she loves most.

With a gentle touch, Ben runs his fingers through her hair, soothing her tired mind. He takes a step back, still holding her close, and looks deep into her eyes. Y/n can't help but get lost in the affection and adoration that shines through his gaze. It's in these moments that she feels truly seen and valued.

As they exchange a few words, Y/n notices the table set elegantly for two. A candle flickers in the center, casting a soft glow on the delicious spread Ben has prepared for them. Her heart fills with gratitude for his thoughtfulness and the effort he has put into making this homecoming special.

Together, they sit down at the table, their laughter and conversation filling the room. Y/n can't help but marvel at the way Ben understands her, always knowing how to make her feel at ease. As they share their stories from the day, both of them find solace in each other's presence.

Y/n knows that she is incredibly fortunate to have such a loving and supportive partner in Ben Barnes. He is not just her husband but also her best friend and confidant. With his unwavering support, she feels empowered to take on any challenge that comes her way.

P.s. I'm sorry that I didn't post for a long time...

Love ya!!!

#ben barnes #ben barnes imagine #actor #imagines #celebrities #ben barnes x reader

[pinchofhoney]

Hello again!💕 could I request Model! Y/N again with Ben Barnes with prompts:

7. “all i can think about is kissing you when i shouldn’t. you aren’t mine”

9. “how much longer are you going to hide your feelings for me, dummy?”

plot idea: before they dated: they’re longtime friends living in LA and both of them are in a party with friends, both of them are oblivious that they’ve have feelings for each other until one of Y/N friend’s from the runway industry starts making moves on her and Ben gets jealous and accidentally lets it slip that he has feelings for her when they’re alone together and a kiss 😳❤️ I like it to be mostly fluffy with a bit of angst😔

I cant wait to see what you do with this xxx😙❤️

where it all began # 200 follower special event

» prompt event » special events masterlist

gif is not mine, credit to the owner

ben barnes x model!reader

word count: 2.9k

warning: jealousy, fluff with a little bit of angst

summary: It's ironic how after concealing them for so long, feelings can be revealed in just one evening.

a/n: hello, hello!!<33 i'm sorry you had to wait so long, but here we go! i'm not confident about this story, because i don't think i can imagine a jealous ben, but i hope you will be satisfied. thank you for your request!!<3

pages that may interest you: masterlist ♡ taglist ♡ who i write for

taglist: @wolfmoonmusic @alexxavicry @danelhi @lonelywitchv2

Was there anything better than living not even a minute away from your friend? No. Definitely not.

Living across the street from your best friend, Ben, was like a dream come true. You had been close friends for almost a decade, and when it turned out that by moving to this neighborhood you would have Ben at your fingertips, you felt like the luckiest person in the world.

It was a bond that went beyond just friendship. You were like family to each other. You knew that if you ever needed anything, Ben would be right there, ready to offer his help and support. And the same went for him.

You would spend hours chatting on your front porches, sipping iced coffee and laughing until your stomachs hurt. You talked about everything, from the mundane details of your day to your deepest hopes and fears. There was never a dull moment when you were together.

Borrowing each other's clothes was a common occurrence. You loved how you could raid Ben's closet for a cozy sweater or a pair of comfy sweatpants, and he was always happy to lend you whatever you needed. You even had a running joke that you were secretly sharing a wardrobe, since you had so many items that seemed to belong to both of you.

But it wasn't just about the material things. You knew each other's routines, moods, and quirks inside and out. You could tell just by looking at each other if something was bothering the other person, and you always knew just what to say to make things better.

You even had the keys to each other's homes, so you could take care of each other's places when one of you had to leave city for an extended period of time. It was a sign of the trust and respect you had for each other.

But today your biggest concern was getting ready to go out.

As the sun began to set, you paced back and forth in front of your closet, feeling the pressure of finding the perfect outfit for the party you were going with Ben at your friend's house. You had spent the better part of the afternoon rifling through your wardrobe, trying on outfit after outfit, but nothing seemed to feel right.

You pulled out a sparkly dress and held it up to your body, admiring the way it shimmered in the light. But then you remembered how uncomfortable it was to wear and how you didn't want to be fidgeting with it all night. You discarded it on your bed.

Next, you picked up a pair of jeans and a cute blouse, thinking that maybe casual was the way to go. But when you tried them on, they just didn't seem to fit right. The jeans were too tight around your hips and the blouse was too baggy in the wrong places. You groaned in frustration and threw them onto the pile of clothes on your bed.

You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down. You knew it wasn't a big deal, but you couldn't help feeling a bit nervous. This was just a party, after all. You didn't need to stress about what you were wearing. But as much as you tried to convince yourself of that, you couldn't shake the feeling that you wanted to look good.

You scanned through your clothes once again and finally landed on a long, flowing skirt and a simple tank top. You paired it with some strappy sandals and stood in front of the mirror. It was a comfortable outfit, but was it too plain? Would you stand out among the other guests? You couldn't tell.

You sighed and flopped down on your bed, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe you were overthinking this. Maybe it didn't matter what you wore. But you couldn't help but feel like it did matter. You wanted to make a good impression on Ben and look your best in front of him, without giving away the fact that you had feelings for him.

After a few minutes of deep thought, you stood up and walked back to you closet. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and picked out a cute white sundress. Your favorite. You slipped it on and twirled around in front of the mirror, admiring the way it flowed around your body. Maybe it was a bit boring, but you loved it and Ben liked this dress too.

As you were lost in your thoughts, you didn't even notice the time passing by. That's when Ben's sudden voice rang out from the bottom of the stairs, informing you that you were running late and had to leave now.

You let out a small yelp of surprise and rushed down the stairs, nearly tripping over your own feet in the process. “I'm coming, I'm coming!” you called out. Struggling to keep pace, you hurriedly made your way out of the door, desperately trying to avoid being left behind, as Ben was already waiting outside.

As you stepped out onto the front porch, the rough texture of the doormat beneath your bare feet made you realize that you had forgotten to put on your shoes. You let out an annoyed groan and hurried back inside, taking care not to trip again, this time on the polished wooden floor. The last thing you wanted was to fall flat on your face and ruin your chance to hang out with Ben.

You quickly slipped on your favorite pair of sneakers, knowing that keeping up with Ben's fast pace and dancing on the party would require comfortable footwear. You didn't want to risk blisters or sore feet this night. After all, you had spent enough time walking around in high heels on the catwalk to know that looking good was important, but comfort was even more important.

With your sneakers securely on your feet, you raced back out onto the porch, eager to catch up with Ben and start the night's adventure.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” you panted. “I couldn't decide what to wear.”

Ben chuckled and gave you a quick look. “Well, you look great in anything, so no need to stress,” he said, making you feel a little bit shy.

You let out a breathless laugh, feeling your heart racing at his compliment. You couldn't help but notice the twinkle in his eyes, the way his lips curled up into a smile, and the slight flush on his cheeks that always appeared when he was around you. It was as if he knew exactly how to make your heart skip a beat.

“You're not looking too shabby yourself,” you replied, trying to mirror his teasing attitude.

Ben grinned, the playful glint in his eyes making your stomach do somersaults. “Why, thank you, kind lady. I do try to look my best,” he joked, making you laugh.

As you and Ben made your way towards the door, he naturally put his arm around your waist. Your friends often teased you both about acting like an old married couple due to living so close to each other, but this gesture felt different. When his touch met your skin, you felt a jolt of electricity run through your body. You tried to shrug it off, attributing it to just nerves, but deep down, you knew there was something more there. Despite being friends for years, lately, you couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something different between you two.

The party was just a short walk away, but it felt like an eternity and even talking did not make the time go any faster. You could smell the scent of his cologne and feel the warmth of his body next to yours. You wanted to stay in that moment forever, but soon enough, you arrived at the house and the party was in full swing.

The moment you stepped inside, the thumping bass of the music hit you hard, signaling that this party was going to be wild. Your friend had promised it would be a small gathering, but it was clear that he had underestimated the turnout. The air was heavy with the scents of alcohol, perfume, and sweat, making it hard to breathe. You looked over to Ben, hoping to find some comfort in his presence, but he was quickly whisked away by his closest friend into the sea of people.

Despite the chaos around you, there was a sense of familiarity that brought a wave of nostalgia. It reminded you of your college days when you went to parties like this every week. Memories flooded back, and you couldn't help but smile.

As you weaved through the crowd, you felt the occasional brush of someone's hand against yours or the whiff of someone's cigarette smoke. It was overwhelming but exciting at the same time.

Eventually, you made it to the kitchen, where the crowd was a little thinner. You poured yourself a drink and turned around, only to find your friend from the fashion shows walking towards you with a drink in his hand. His eyes lit up when he saw you and you couldn't help but feel a little flutter in your chest as he closed you in a tight hug, being careful not to spill your drinks. You can't remember the last time you saw each other off the runway.

“Well, well, well, look who it is. The most beautiful woman in the room,” he said, his voice laced with flirtatious charm.

You rolled your eyes and laughed, knowing this was just his usual banter. “Oh, please, you're just trying to butter me up,” you replied, playing along with his teasing. “Hi, Josh.”

He grinned, showing off his perfect smile. “Maybe I am. But can you blame me? You look absolutely gorgeous tonight,” he said, his eyes twinkling with admiration.

You couldn't help but giggle at his flattery, feeling your nerves settling down in the crowded party. "Well, thank you," you said, taking a sip of your drink. “I guess I can't blame you for having eyes, right?”

Josh chuckled, leaning in closer to your ear. “You know, I've been meaning to ask you something since it's been a while since we've seen each other,” he said, mischief in his voice.

Curiosity piqued and you raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? What's that?”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

You felt your eyes widen, surprised, by his sudden question. You slowly shook your head. “No, not at the moment,” you replied, trying to keep your casual tone. The truth was that you wished you had a different answer.

“Good to know,” Josh said, smiling warmly at you. “Because I was hoping to steal you away for a dance.”

You grinned and shrugged your shoulders. “I don't see why not.”

Josh's hand felt warm against yours as he led you onto the dance floor, and your heart was racing with excitement. As soon as the music began, he pulled you close, and you felt his breath on your neck. You couldn't help but feel a little giddy at his attention, but at the same time, your mind kept drifting to Ben and how you wished it was him dancing with you now.

Despite your inner turmoil, you tried to focus on the present. The beat of the music pulsed through your body as Josh pulled you closer, and you felt a rush of heat rise to your cheeks. He wrapped his arms around your waist, and you could feel the muscles in his chest and arms tense as he swayed to the rhythm.

He was such an incredible dancer, moving with the beat effortlessly, and you followed his lead, feeling yourself getting lost in the moment. He made you laugh with his witty remarks and teasing comments, and you couldn't help but feel drawn to him.

But then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw Ben watching you from across the room. His jaw was clenched tight, and his dark eyes bore into you, making you feel uneasy. You tried to ignore him and focus on Josh, but the feeling of Ben's eyes on you was suffocating.

As the final notes of the song faded away, Josh's breath tickled your ear, making your heart race. “I think your boyfriend is getting jealous,” he whispered with a smirk, his eyes glinting mischievously. You furrowed your eyebrows slightly at the comment, unsure how to respond.

Before you could say anything, however, Ben appeared by your side, his eyes fixed on Josh. “Mind if I cut in?” he asked, his voice laced with tension.

Josh shrugged nonchalantly, taking a step back. “Be my guest,” he said, his smirk growing wider.

As soon as Josh was out of earshot, Ben grabbed your hand roughly and led you away from the dance floor. His grip was strong, almost possessive, but you couldn't deny the thrill that shot through you. You allowed him to lead you out of the crowded room and into the dimly lit hallway, where the sounds of the music faded away into the background.

You tried to speak, but his steely glare stopped you in your tracks. The tension between you was palpable, and you could feel your heart beating fast in your chest. He stopped abruptly and spun you around to face him, his grip still tight on your hand.

Ben's eyes narrowed as he glared at you, the fiery intensity of his gaze making your heart race faster. You had never seen him like this before; in all the time you had known him, he had never once been angry with you. His voice was low and rough as he spoke, his anger barely contained. “What the hell was that? You were practically all over that guy!” he accused.

Your heart sank at the accusation, feeling hurt and betrayed by his words. “All over him? We were just dancing, Ben,” you protested, your voice tinged with desperation. You hoped to make him see reason, to make him understand that there was nothing going on between you and Josh. “Don't forget that we're just friends,” you added, trying to remind him of the boundaries of your relationship.

But Ben was too far gone in his jealousy to listen. “I saw the way he was looking at you,” he spat out, his words laced with venom. “And the way you were looking at him. I don't like it, Y/N. I don't like it one bit.”

A silence fell between the two of you, and you stared into his eyes, searching for a clue as to what you should say next. The tension in the air was palpable, and you could feel the weight of his emotions bearing down on you.

Finally, he let out a deep breath, as if trying to calm himself down. He let go of your hand, taking a step back from you. “I know I have no right to be jealous, Y/N. I know we're just friends. But I can't help the way I feel. All I can think about is kissing you when I shouldn't. You aren't mine,” he said, his voice trailed off, and you could see the hurt and frustration etched into his face.

“I can be, just say you want it,” you replied impulsively, before you could stop yourself.

Ben looked at you in surprise, not believing what he had just heard. “What?” he asked, his eyes widening in shock.

You took a step closer to him, feeling bolder than ever. “I said, I can be yours. If you want me,” you repeated, your eyes locking onto his. “How much longer are you going to hide your feelings for me, dummy?”

Ben's surprise slowly turned into a smile, and he took a step closer to you, his hand reaching up to cup your face. “I've been hiding them for far too long, Y/N,” he said, his voice full of warmth. “I want you. I want to be with you.”

He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a gentle kiss. It was hesitant at first, as if he couldn't believe that this was actually happening. But soon it became more passionate, as if he was trying to make up for all the time he had spent denying his feelings for you. You wrapped your arms around Ben's neck, holding him close as you kissed him back with equal fervor.

As the kiss deepened, you felt a sense of completeness wash over you. This was what you had been waiting for, what you had been hoping for, for so long. And now it was finally happening.

As you both pulled away, you looked up at him, your eyes shining with happiness. Ben smiled at you, his hand still cupping your face. “I can't believe it took us so long to get here,” he said, his voice filled with wonder.

You laughed, feeling a weight lifted off your shoulders. “Better late than never, right?” you replied, feeling giddy with excitement.

Ben pulled you into a tight hug, and you rested your head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat against your ear. “I'm never letting you go,” he whispered, placing a kiss on the top of your head.

You smiled, feeling content. “Good, because I'm not going anywhere,” you replied, feeling as if everything was finally falling into place.

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