#not banksy. also who the fuck cares about banksy these days

[sanstropfremir]

....I have to ask..... what do you think about gidle song nude? The Marilyn Monroe inspiration was definitely there along with that jazz age sound in a way?? But man... I'm not sure what to think of it. Bc I can see what they're going for. The different shades of blonde remind me of red velvet ice cream cake era. I can see the message maybe about embracing sexuality? Something that exid would do in terms of messaging but way more obvious. Idk. It feels like soye*n is trying to make impactful songs which chart wise and album sale wise she does but it doesn't ever hit for me.

i wish gidle would actually do something that was worth the 'hype' that they get. i don't like the song but i've never liked a song from them so. the mv........it's complicated. there are actually a lot of good connections and ideas happening there, but the problem is that they just don't DO anything with them. like 90% of the mv is references to different types of 'scandalous' media or cultural touchstones, and from which ones they've chosen i can see that they're trying to make some kind of comment on the judgement and policing women's bodies and sexuality, but they don't really follow that through to anything meaningful. they themselves don't actually do anything scandalous, which, in my instincts, would be the logical conclusion in my brain. they just make references and call it a day.

the base format for the whole thing is vaudeville, which is pretty much the ancestor of burlesque and stripping; the opening moment with the pink velvet dress is just a knockoff version of marilyn's diamonds are a girl's best friend number from gentlmen prefer blondes; the cone bra is obvs a madonna reference; the cartoon is jessica rabbit from who framed roger rabbit; the book she's reading is (i'm assuming) walt whitman's leaves of grass; obvs also the marilyn white dress moment; also inexplicably there's a banksy reference too with the shredding frame. which was a scandal, but it's not at all related to gender or sexuality so i have no idea why it was included, unless they're trying to make the conflation between the female body and art as a bought and sold commodity, which.................well. there's better ways to handle that that make more logical sense. like clearly there was a creative team that had relatively lofty ideas, but you have to do something with those ideas. and they kind of set themselves up for failure in this instance, because they were clearly trying to make some sort of intentional statement (basically it wasn't just a spectacle piece), but you can't just reference a bunch of media and call it a day. you have to synthesize something new out of those references. that's the difference between why something like 2 baddies works and why this doesn't; 2 baddies makes something new from a ton of source material (literally in the case of the custom porsche too). it also isn't trying to be deeper than it is, yea it's based in a bunch of weird niche research but the mv isn't expecting you to know about the history of car manufacturing or art deco in order to appreciate the neon vomit chaos. it's there in order to give the visuals an underpinning logic. but if you don't know any of the references in the nxde mv, the theme means literally nothing. it's incomprehensible. they literally have to name some of the references at the end of the mv so people get it. and that's a cheap shortcut, instead of actually doing the work to make something that has artistic merit on its own.

#gidle w #kpop questions #like a lot of this mv explicitly hinges around jessica rabbit's ''im not bad im just drawn that way'' #but do you think a single kpoppie has seen who framed roger rabbit. or even knows who she is on sight? #tbh i think it's even a reach to expect ppl to know that scene from gentlemen prefer blondes at this point #idk like i guess its possible that they accidentally stumbled into the same themes since jessica is meant to be the same type of comment #but idk. i dont think they were smart enough to get there #and the animated/live action combo is like way too specific of a detail. esp with the style #also? extremely weird and racist to associate being blonde and pale with being 'nude' #and i'm not gonna bring up the chanel styling but there's another scandal reference if you want one #text #answers #like if they truly wanted to make the art/body connection what they SHOULD have done was referenced the marilyn warhol prints #not banksy. also who the fuck cares about banksy these days #like i hadnt heard that name in like five years at this point #like there's a ton of postmodern art references you can make here to talk about art market manipulation etc etc #like you cant just kind of vaguely gesture at the whole women/art thing without unpacking #bc it BOLD to make the inference that a certain type of person is bought and sold as a commodity????????? hello???????????? #anyways gidle made a thing i didnt like again. big surprise

[unburdenedself]

Paranoia

“The real meaning of the word paranoia—someone who has the ability to link events that seemingly are not connected.” — John Coleman

Even through past depressive episodes, there’s always been an underlying paranoia, which is fed by overthinking and general lack of self confidence and esteem.

It’s also true that many medications seem to coordinate efforts with your depression and anxiety actually amplifying it, so there’s really no escaping it at the best of times.

This most recent depression and anxiety has shown me a level of paranoia that has been off the charts. It’s an absolute brutal consequence of depression, and taking shit loads of medication.

It has sucker punched me repeatedly.

It gets to the point where you simply and genuinely believe you are on your own; that everyone has some agenda against you. I can’t even begin to exaggerate this, or embellish it.

Paranoia on it’s own is enough to drive friends and family away, but add in all the other facets of depress and anxiety, and the battle to wade through all the negative thoughts that paranoia forces on you leaves you utterly drained, exhausted.

“Depression is a prison where you are both the suffering prisoner and the cruel jailer.” – Dorothy Rowe

You no longer trust the thoughts that are rapidly bouncing inside your head, you no longer know what is up, down, left or right when it comes to general life events, decisions made, and actions of those around you.

When you also suffer from general over thinking, then paranoia is the proverbial icing on the cake.

“I think too much. I think ahead. I think behind. I think sideways. I think it all. If it exists, I’ve fucking thought of it.” ― Winona Ryder

You have to work so utterly hard to try and reframe all the thoughts in your head, you have to pause and think about acting or not acting on everything going in in your head for fear of reacting to a paranoid thought, opposed to a genuine thought.

“It’s amazing where the paranoid mind can take you.” — Bill Ayers

On occasions where you have had to act quickly, then subsequently realise it ended up being heavily influenced by paranoid thoughts.

I’ve personally never experienced anything quite like this level and intensity of paranoia, and it has left me so wary of most things that still pop into my head.

I try to keep things balanced as I can; to try hard to keep reframing al the negativity popping in and out of my head.

A quote by Alain De Botton comes to mind:

“For Paranoia about ‘what other people think’: remember that only some hate, a very few love, and almost all just don’t care.” — Alain De Botton

I do think this is slightly unfairly biased towards uncaring and hate, but there we go.

My paranoia seems to be quite happy sitting there next to my depression and anxiety, so a mind fuck trio. I don’t know how much of this is due to my medication, to recent events, to my depression, all or some.

Banksy has been able to articular a positive aspect of paranoia, but I’ve yet to experience that level of clarity, and can’t say I share this perspective:

“You’re mind is working at its best when you’re being paranoid. You explore every avenue and possibility of your situation at hight speed with total clarity.” — Banksy

In recent weeks I believe I’ve started to feel less paranoid in general, but it’s still right there in my thoughts. It has helped that having some stability, lots of love and support of friends, and some autonomy in my life has helped calm things down somewhat, but paranoia is still an unwelcome visitor.

Paranoia puts you on the defensive whenever a thought, or a real life interaction happens, and it simply takes so much effort to not react.

“I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t understand it yourself.”

I’ve got a lot to thrash out regards to my medication, and how much of this may or may not be influencing the general sense of paranoia I’ve been feeling, but that’s for another day.

→ https://unburdenedself.blog

#depression #mental health #paranoia #depressed #anxiety #introvert #mental illness #mental wellbeing #mentalheathawareness #paranoid

[writemekpop]

Bad Romance (Part 1) | Lee Taeyong

Pairing: Lee Taeyong x Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend Taeyong wants to fuck you, but you're not ready...

Genre: Angst, Smut, College AU 

Word Count: 1.8k

Warning: Sexual Content, Toxic relationship 

Part 1 ⭐️| Part 2

Taeyong’s breaths were deafening in your ear. Couldn’t he try to control himself? For discretion, at least. You imagined every ear in your university dorm pricking up. Snickering. “I wonder what they’re up to.” 

Taeyong kissed you again, his hot lips colliding with yours.

His hand, ever so slightly rough, pushed up your shirt, sending goosebumps up your ribs. A moan sounded, deep in your throat, and Taeyong groaned in satisfaction. 

You felt instantly guilty. You’d told yourself your ancestors wouldn’t mind if you did this for him. But you’d promised not to enjoy it. 

Taeyong knotted one hand in your hair. You felt the other one slide up to your back to unclasp your bra. His hand dwarfed your back, sending sparks rippling up your shoulder blades. 

“Are you okay with this?” he murmured, voice husky. You nodded. It was a lie.

The truth was, you’d never had sex before. You’d barely even kissed a boy. 

When all your college friends were in the basement snogging boys, you would hover by the doorway, holding their drinks. When they began to tease you, you just pretended you couldn’t hear them. 

Even when everyone started saying you ‘batted for the other team’, it just felt like a relief. Maybe they’d finally leave you alone. 

You were a feminist. You fully believed that women weren’t shiny, unwrapped presents that had to be protected for marriage. But you were also a fake. 

Because the idea of sleeping with a stranger still made you feel sick inside. 

Well, Taeyong wasn’t a stranger; he was your boyfriend. So, you would just have to grit your teeth and get on with it. 

Taeyong’s hand slid down between you. You squeezed your eyes shut. It would be over in a minute; that’s what your friends were always joking about, right? 

Then, you heard the unmistakeable clink of his belt buckle. Suddenly, that was the most terrifying sound you’d ever heard.  

“W-wait,” you croaked. 

You clung onto Taeyong’s firm wrist. 

He was breathing hard, his pulse pounding under his papery-thin skin. You were sat on his lap – so you could feel how ready he was, and it frightened you. 

He would hate you for what you were about to say, you knew that. 

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” 

You rolled away from him, pulling your knees up and hugging them. Burying your wet eyes in your knees, you waited for Taeyong to leave. 

But you didn’t feel him get off the bed. 

Instead, there was absolute silence. A shiver ran down your spine. 

Then, his muscled arms were wrapping around you. Taeyong eased you till you were lying on the bed – fear closed in your throat – but he wasn’t trying to have sex with you. Instead, he helped you pull your T-shirt back on, and guided you so your head was resting on his chest.

You felt his thundering heartbeat slow to a steady, comforting pulse.

Taeyong pressed a kiss on your temple. For a second, your stomach curled; it was so fatherly. You mentally scolded yourself. Taeyong wasn’t like other guys. He was caring, and sensitive, and you should be grateful.  

“If you wanna go slow, let’s go slow. You’ll always be my girl,” Taeyong whispered.

So, you pushed down the niggling feeling that ‘always’ had an expiry date. It was time you learnt to trust someone, and Taeyong was the perfect person to let in.

---

Over the next few months, you tried your best to forget about that night. And it was easy enough – Taeyong was electrifying. 

You’d never met a man who could tell a Basquiat from a Banksy and didn’t even show off about it. 

Each night, after lectures, you’d sneak off to some gallery late opening, and take photos of each other for Instagram. 

Or, you’d just snuggle up in his dorm room and listen to him telling you all about his Art History course, or his dreams of starting his own gallery. 

You rarely spoke. You preferred to soak in his world, like a cat curled in the sun. And let’s face it – who wanted to talk about Maths, anyway? 

Taeyong was like a shooting star: totally uncontrollable, impossible to understand, yet hopelessly fascinating. You couldn’t believe why someone like him seemed to find you interesting. Or at least, worth spending every day with.  

---

The second time Taeyong scared you was a Saturday.

You were sitting in his lap, poring over one of his Art History books. Other than toying with a curl of your hair, or pressing a kiss to your shoulder, Taeyong was totally still.  

Sighing with pleasure, you flicked through the glossy pages – for the hundredth time. No wonder Taeyong would always say: If I wasn’t rubbish at Maths, we should’ve swapped courses.

Just then, you prised open a page you hadn’t seen before. You frowned. 

It was a scan of an old Japanese painting. In it, a wealthy couple were captured in a furious argument with a young woman, carrying a baby. It was entitled ‘Outside Wife’. 

You turned to Taeyong, finger on the title. “What’s that?” 

Taeyong lifted the book from your hands, then grinned. “It’s when a noble couple are forced to get married, but the man has another wife to, you know, satisfy his needs.” Taeyong chuckled dryly. “Unfortunately, that system isn’t available anymore.” 

You began to chuckle too… then your smile melted from your face. “What do you mean, unfortunately?” Goosebumps rippled over your skin. 

“Ah… it was just a joke. You know, we’re not exactly getting any.” Taeyong’s body still felt relaxed under you, but your muscles were tensing. 

“I thought you said you wanted to go slow…” you mumbled. 

Of course. You should’ve seen this coming. 

There was only so long a person could go without their needs fulfilled. And here you were, dragging your boyfriend down while he could sleep with any normal girl whenever he wanted. 

“I’m not ready yet, Taeyong.” You picked at the frayed wool of your jumper. 

Your throat closed as you prepared for what you would say next. “If you… need to sleep with someone else, I won’t blame you,” you whispered. Stupid, babyish tears were filling your eyes already. 

“Babe – it was just a joke! No need to get your knickers in a twist.” Taeyong laughed, and kissed your neck. 

When you still didn’t make a sound a moment later, Taeyong turned you around on his lap so you were facing him. Tears streaked freely down your cheeks – you couldn’t hide them. 

“Oh, baby….” Soft as a whisper, Taeyong placed his palm on your cheek and smoothed away the tears with his thumb. “I don’t care about your… problem. You’re my girlfriend, and what’s good enough for you’s good enough for me.” 

A small part of you hurt at the way he said problem, but you pushed that part away. You allowed him a small smile. 

Laughing, Taeyong pulled you into a bear hug. You’d never gripped his shoulder so tight. You were so lucky to have him. 

----

A few weeks later, Taeyong finally convinced you to accompany him to a house party. You knew what this meant. You’d been dating for four months – this was the ‘meeting his friends’ moment. 

All the time you were getting ready, your stomach had transformed into a pit of snakes. Excitement, anxiety, fear – they all wriggled and knotted about inside you. 

You chose a midnight-blue playsuit, in a glimmering velvet. When Taeyong pointed it out to you in the shop, you knew this what you’d be wearing. 

To be honest, you hated Taeyong’s friends. You were pretty sure Taeil had tried to sneak vodka into your coke, and Mark did nothing but yap on endlessly about his girlfriend in Canada. You were almost 100% sure she didn’t exist. 

But as soon as Taeyong’s mahogany eyes met yours across in the heaving living room, all your worries melted away like snow. All he had to do was raise one deep eyebrow, or pull his plump lips into a silly face, and you’d burst out laughing. 

Except, as the hours drew by, you realised you hadn’t seen Taeyong in a while. You were perched on the stairs, shivering next to everyone who was too zoned out to take part. 

“Taeyong?” 

Tip-toeing, you climbed up the stairs, calling his name. You pushed open each of the doors in the hallway, peeking through your fingers just in case anything funny was going on. 

But they were all empty. 

Just as you turned around to go back downstairs, you heard voices coming from the attic. Gingerly, you sneaked up. They grew louder, more defined. 

Pushing open the door just a crack, you heard:

“Really? My god.” 

Your heart jumped. You knew that rich, resounding tone better than your own voice. It was Taeyong. 

You considered climbing up to join them. But then, you heard something that stopped you in your tracks. 

“And the worst thing is, Irene thinks she’s some kind of sex goddess, but actually she’s awful. She just lies there like a limp doll, expecting me to do everything.” It was Doyoung speaking. 

There was a pause as they all laughed. 

Your heart was already twisting. Something about his tone felt… wrong. Like his girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate what he was saying. 

Then, you heard Taeyong say, “Mate, at least your girlfriend’s fucking you, even if she is awful at it. I haven’t got any for months!” 

Everyone in the group exclaimed in disbelief. You forgot how to breathe. 

“Yeah – I know. Y/n thinks she’s some kind of saint for “waiting for the perfect moment”. I mean, a guy’s got needs!” Taeyong’s voice was low, but to you he could have been screaming. 

Black spots were engulfing your vision. Gulping, you staggered backwards, out of the door. You didn’t want to hear what you heard next. You really didn’t want to.  

But you couldn’t help it. Not when Taeyong said, “You know, I don’t even feel bad about fucking Joy. I mean, I had no choice. If Y/n wasn’t so frigid, I wouldn’t need to. It’s her fault really.” 

That was it. 

You sprinted away. Pushing through the line of partygoers waiting to use the bathroom, you locked yourself inside.

Then, you curled up on the toilet seat and sobbed. 

It had finally happened. 

Your gorgeous boyfriend had finally realised that he was miles out of your league. He didn’t deserve the defect. He didn’t deserve the fake feminist who was too ashamed to admit how sexist she really was. 

Then, a thought entered your mind that make you perk up. 

Maybe you could pretend you’d never overheard Taeyong. Maybe you could go back to how you were before… Or maybe you could sleep with him and make him forget about all other girls. 

After all, you’d do anything to keep him. 

Anything.  

Read Part 2 here.

---

MASTERLIST

#taeyong #lee taeyong #neowritingsnet #NCT 127 #nct 2020 #NCT-WRITERS #taeyong fluff #taeyong angst #nct fluff #nct angst #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 angst #taeyong smut #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct scenarios #taeyong fanfiction #superm #superm smut #nct drabbles

[sweaterkittensahoy]

We just binged the first season of Sherlock, and a list of things. 

1) WE GET IT WOMEN ARE SLUTS OR PROPS

2) The Blind Banker never should have left “Hey, can we update this so it’s not literally the worst about Chinese people” part of the conversation in the writers’ room. The answer for that writing room was very clear, “Nah. But let’s do it anyway.”

3) I watched the first season when the show first blew up, and even knowing the exact reveal of Moriarty, I was still fucking giddy with it because it’s SUCH A FUCKING GOOD REVEAL. 

4) Yes, I saw the blatant, blatant queerbaiting, and I am extra mad. Because the first season could have been about Sherlock AND John both thinking romance isn’t for them. And then subsequent seasons could have been A) A goddamn romance or B) an endgame romance or C) An emotional, platonic love story where John isn’t constantly afraid people might even think he’s queer because of his devotion to Sherlock. 

5) Also, we get it, Moffat and Gatiss. There’s only gay and straight. John can’t possibly be bi or pan or questioning because you have him get flustered for being confused as Sherlock’s date, then set him up with a woman IN THE NEXT EPISODE.

6) Look, the cases are great. Everyone is very talented. I don’t want to act like I’m not entertained. But also. Jesus Christ. The sexism and slut shaming and queerphobia is just. A PROBLEM.

7) I do like the idea that Sherlock knows Banksy, and he’s an annoying shithead. Because that just feels very true to how I feel about Banksy. 

8) I don’t even know where to start with the treatment of Sarah. John’s boss who lets him keep his job AFTER SHE CATCHES HIM ASLEEP ON HIS FIRST DAY because it’s more important she get a chance to fuck than to take care of her patients. 

9) AND THEN SHE GETS HORRIBLY TRAUMATIZED ON THEIR FIRST DATE AND JOHN MAKES LIGHT OF IT. 

10) Okay, seriously, The Blind Banker is so fucking terrible. Like, the sexism and queerphobia in all the eps are big problems. But, like, what a fucking terrible episode. What a racist fucking episode. What a fucking awful sexist episode. Soo is sitting and hiding and fearing for her own death but HAS TIME TO TRANSLATE SYMBOLS???? Fucking really???? And Sarah has a brief flirt with John and then is willing to forgive him literally FALLING ASLEEP ON HIS FIRST DAY and want to fuck him????

11) Like, I get it. Short-staffed. But “We’re shlort-staffed so I’m not gonna fire you, you fucking asshole,” and “I covered your ass, so let’s go on a date” are two VERY DIFFERENT VIBES.

12) WE GET IT GATISS. YOU DON’T THINK BISEXUALITY IS VALID. 

13) I cannot explain how much it irks me that Gatiss is so good at being Mycroft but also such a basic bitch rich, white gay man when he’s writing. 

14) Molly deserves so much better than literally everything they did to her. 

15) I cannot believe Rupert had to stand in such a way to imply he’s not in great shape. Like, just give me soft Daddy Lestrade and fuck off. He is so clearly trying to stick out stomach to look even vaguely out of shape. Is he fucking cut? No. Does he need to be? Fucking no. I have no problem with him being a bit soft around the middle. It’s that there are moments where it seems like it was an order from the director rather than a choice he made. 

16) I do still really love the Lestrade and Sherlock relationship from the word go. Lestrade truly believes in Sherlock. 

17) I’ve seen takes where people get mad that Mycroft shouted at Mrs. Hudson and talk about how Sherlock would NEVER. Except he totally does in the first season. Just leaving this here.

18) The entire fucking show is so over-orchestrated. You don’t need interesting music for every goddamn second. Calm down. 

19) I am pretty sure Benedict is just a folding garment bag with some stays inserted as needed. It’s the only explanation.

#sherlock #a big old heap of feelings

[arecomicsevengood]

Seeds

Before I read it, I had this idea I could write a review of Ann Nocenti and David Aja’s The Seeds for the Comics Journal, but the book just sucked too much. It had basically nothing going for it, or even decipherable as an advancing plot. One thing wrong with it is there’s this sort of conspiracy element, or this “no one believes the news” anymore element of it, but Nocenti didn’t want it to be about “fake news.” Donald Trump has rewired the narrative, so now entire types of subject matter feed into this propaganda machine simply by being addressed. Nocenti’s best work does not shy from topicality, addressing the currents in the cultural air, but this time the modern world feels too hot to handle.

I ordered the Daredevil: Typhoid’s Kiss trade paperback, reprinting a bunch of Nocenti’s work with the Typhoid Mary character from the nineties. The longest story in there is a miniseries with art by John Van Fleet. It’s partly about post-Tarantino video-store employees turned filmmakers kidnapping Typhoid Mary to use her as the subject of a documentary about serial killers and violent media. It’s also about Typhoid Mary working as a private detective trying to track down a killer of prostitutes, who the police don’t care about, and are maybe the actual killers of themselves. Storywise, it’s a pretty cool attempt to address real-world issues of the day within a pulp context.

Van Fleet’s art is pretty boring and bad in a way that’s distinctly ahead of its time. While the miniseries itself probably wouldn’t exist without the precedent of Elektra: Assassin a decade before, (a spinoff about a female Daredevil villain created by the writer during their run on Daredevil where that character defined their run) all the photoreference that’s probably actually just photo backgrounds run through filters sets a precedent for the Alex Maleev/Matt Hollingsworth Daredevil stuff to come a decade later. And it’s frequently annoying on a page design/panel background level. Like in terms of how the panel borders sort of default to grid shapes so there ends up being things that “read” as panels but that don’t actually do anything for pacing. It’s just fitting the narrative into regimented design choices.

This maybe only happens the once. But the art is also just super-stiff throughout, with a very chunky line that eliminates any real nuance. There’s a bunch of characters, but a lot of them are indistinguishable from one another, and that’s because the linework is about as muddy as the color palette — It kinda seems like he’s working with models and photo reference but also doesn’t have that many models to work with so he’s having them play multiple roles, but also his work basically seems more like photoshop filters than actual drawing? There’s a bunch of stuff that I think sucks, basically. But you can also draw a direct line from what Van Fleet is doing in Typhoid to what Aja does in The Seeds. All these choices that are meant to be classy and dignifed, a move away from the excess of superhero comics. The covers of Typhoid are just portraits of the main character, interchangeable from one issue to the next, which was a move that again, was ahead of its time: This is what so many Marvel covers in the 2000s looked like, the Tim Bradstreet Punisher covers probably being the go-to example. It’s pretty dull but it’s nice they’re not super-sexualized.

While the choices arguably suit the subject matter in Typhoid, which is at least partly about movies, in The Seeds, the story doesn’t really make any sense because the visuals seem so steeped in unreality. The premise is that a tabloid has photographed an alien, proving aliens are real. There is really nothing within the context of the story that explains why the news outlet would have enough gravitas to be convincing and have this be an actual news story. And the book is drawn in Photoshop, which is itself a photo-editing software, so the “reality” of the book is defined by the very medium that people recognize as why images can’t be trusted. This contributes a level of irony that could maybe be worked with if the book itself wasn’t so ugly and dull. The whole thing looks like some Banksy bullshit. Outside of word balloons, text appears in the large all-caps typeface of image macros. I don’t have scans of The Seeds because I gave my copy away on account of there not being any reason to keep it around.

The book is beyond dated at the time of its release. Partly this is due to the speed the cultural conversation has been moving for the past five years.  It’s been a difficult time period to work on a work of fiction about the news, certainly, and not only has the comic been a long time in the making, the writer has also been away from making comics for decades now. If the authors had been able to make this as a serialized monthly comic, it might’ve stumbled into timeliness, or the predictive, but as it is, the reading experience feels like a bunch of different, disparate ideas that do not really cohere into a narrative. Leaving aside how the book seems to emerge from a general cultural gestalt of the the 1990s, when The X-Files and Weekly World News were objects of discussion, every major plot point or news story chosen for thematic resonance is approximately fifteen years old. I believe 2005 was when I started to hear about colony collapse disorder. This bee metaphor has been lapped by a Honey Nut Cheerios campaign at this point. (A few years back, boxes of cereal came with seeds of wildflowers you/children could plant.)

Darin Morgan’s episode of The X-Files revival “The Mengele Effect” ably addresses all the issues with how cynicism and conspiracy theories feel different now, all the issues that Nocenti seems terrified of and hopes the audience doesn’t think of when reading her humorless X-Files throwback comic. That episode’s great.  Much of The Seeds seems like it was better done in the decidedly not-great Transmetropolitian. There’s something so dated and sad about this comic’s idea of a cool journalist protagonist: People barely smoke cigarettes anymore! I know no one wants to draw people vaping, but the imagery this book wishes meant “cool, urban, woman” reads as nostalgic affectation in 2021. That so much of the commercial landscapes of our cities has been replaced by vape shops was one of the biggest clues we were already living in a dystopia three years ago.

Nocenti, when she was working regularly, got to be a pretty effective writer for having a monthly deadline wherein she could speak on the issues of the day as they were happening. In the absence of a regular gig, this rare chance to speak her mind gets hampered by how much there is to talk about, and how complicated it all is. If it’s too complicated to address in an ongoing superhero comic, a one-off graphic novel with vaguely commercial ambitions turns out to be a worse space for it. It’s so much sadder than anything in this dream-of-the-nineties comic that the authors were given the grace to make something only under the conditions that doom it to failure. Real people made this work of fiction, and I don’t know what the fuck they’re even talking about, and that’s a more complicated narrative than the journalists in this comic who… stumble upon a story and then need to take to back because it’s too important or something? I don’t understand what this comic is about. It’s clearly gesturing at being about a bunch of different things, but what they get from being in juxtaposition with one another, I don’t know.

In interviews in advance of the release of The Seeds, Nocenti talked about how this was the first time she got to make a comic that didn’t have to have fight scenes or conflict in it. But reading Typhoid it’s clear how conflict ties the story’s disparate threads together. But also while reading Typhoid I kept on thinking about how visually, the Steve Lightle shit that preceded it is so much cooler! Here he is, bifurcating a page so two narrative threads can be told with different approaches to stoytelling:

People sometimes talk about how crazy it is that Nocenti started her Daredevil run immediately following up the Miller/Mazzucchelli Born Again run with a fill-in drawn by Barry Windsor-Smith. But I don’t think anyone has pointed out that, since these Typhoid Mary team-up comics appeared in Marvel Comics Presents, she’s basically following up Barry Windsor-Smith’s Weapon X, and Steve Lightle is totally capable of doing that! Even if these comics are kinda whatever narratively, Nocenti comes up with dense enough narratives to give him shit to do. She’s a good writer within the context of the harsh strictures of early nineties mainstream comics. Which I know seems like a harsh diss! But being a writer that makes work that consistently gives a comics artist something interesting to do is a difficult job that many people are just not interested in doing for various reasons, so it should be recognized when it’s attempted and accomplished.

It’s also interesting that the whole visual approach where both Steve Lightle and Barry Windsor-Smith shine is dependent on flat color. The changes in storytelling made to accommodate the shifts in visual language in full-color mainstream comics didn’t really benefit anyone, and now needs to be outsmarted. In The Seeds, we’ve got this pretty dull reading experience that superficially in its two-color print job and nine-panel grid, looks like it might be influenced by Mazzucchelli’s work in Rubber Blanket and City Of Glass. And we’ve got a black and white Barry Windsor-Smith comic coming out from Fantagraphics in a few weeks that I really hope blows it out of the water.

[branwyn-says]

Reese/Fusco : Florist AU + Magical Accidents

THANKS. THANKS, PAL.

Okay, so, being a florist is a pretty working class job sometimes. You can be working in the deli department of a big grocery store and just up and get transferred to the floral department. No experience necessary, they’re putting the warm bodies where they need them. If you’re in charge of the floral department they give you a book of pictures. Your job is to make arrangements that look like the pictures, pretty much. Easy peasy, just follow the directions.

Lionel’s not a natural choice, like, nothing about him says “untapped aesthetic sensibilities”, and probably they only put him here to try and make him quit, but screw that. He’s got a kid, and he already bailed on the Academy, he’s not trying to make quitting into a habit. So Lionel gets close and personal with Google. He reads about color theory, and flower language, and the rule of thirds, and all kinds of other crap about art that he never knew or cared to know before now. Weirdly enough, it’s really interesting. Twenty years ago he’d have turned his nose up, but he’s changed, and for the better.

At work, he starts going off-book. The standard bouquets and arrangements for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, they sell at the same rate they ever did, and sometimes Lionel gets a little creative and they sell a little better than normal. But there are always these cuttings left over. Just the odd flower that didn’t make the cut because it was starting to spot or brown, or just whatever reason. In his down time, Lionel makes practice bouquets out of leftovers. They’re unconventional. They’re unpredictable. Weird, a little ugly. They’re not even for sale. Lionel’s just practicing, for fun, with flowers that would just get swept up and thrown away normally. He’s not even allowed to take them home.

“How much?” someone asks him one day, gesturing at the weird little bouquet behind the desk. 

This particular arrangement, Lionel’s proud of. There are blue roses, purple carnations, tiger lilies, and some kind of black spriggy thing. The colors are not normal, the outline is not harmonious, but then again from a certain angle, it’s kind of neat. And it makes Lionel happy that someone wants to take his weird little scrap arrangement home.

“Just take it,” he says. “But I gotta charge you $5.99 for the vase.”

The next day, someone comes in and asks if he’s the guy who made THIS: *holds up phone with Instagram loaded showing a picture of Lionel’s bouquet beautifully lit and photographed* Yeah, says Lionel, that looks a little familiar.

Can you make an arrangement for my girlfriend’s birthday I will pay you $200, says the Instagrammer frantically.

And well, what do you know. For that kind of money Lionel’s willing to buy a couple of bouquets from work, take them home, and make one of his Frankenflower bouquets for a private customer. He gets clippings and leaves all over his kitchen, and his fridge stinks like rose petals for a few days, but it’s fun, and he’s at least $100 to the good, so he’s pretty happy about it.

Within a month, Lionel is a social media sensation. He has no idea. He doesn’t use Instagram. And the people reblogging him don’t know his name, just his flowers. But he’s everywhere. He’d Banksy, with begonias. People are going wild. Lionel is still earning $14 an hour.

Magically, it’s pretty much Howl’s Moving Castle, but instead of magically pairing hats with wearers and having no idea he’s doing it, Lionel is charming everyone who looks at his flowers, and has no idea he’s doing it. That’s the accident part. Lionel is just accidentally magicking all over the place. Floral arrangements just happen to be the first thing he’s ever made with his hands from scratch. Apart from his cooking, which, admittedly, will put you under a spell, but he never has the time these days. 

Meanwhile, in a far away land (Manhattan), Harold and Grace are married and John is...let’s call him their bodyguard. Still a badass, but he got medically discharged from the army before the CIA got to him, so he’s less fucked up. Still pretty good at tracking things and people down, though. Right now, what he’s tracking down is some damn florist whose name nobody knows. Grace is obsessed with his arrangements and wants to paint a still life based on his work, but she wants to commission an original arrangement and paint it from life. 

John, obviously, said he would take care of finding the mystery florist. John’s detective work takes him to every upscale flower shop in Manhattan that’s copying the Instagram craze for Lionel’s Frankenflowers. He strikes out a dozen times, then ends up in the floral department of, idk a Wegman’s or something.

“We don’t keep a full time florist on staff but the manager of the floral department would be happy to talk to you,” John is told, so he goes to the floral department, where Lionel is elbows deep in clippings.

Unbeknownst to himself, he is also absolutely magically radiant with all the beauty he’s about to channel into the kind of weird, kind of ugly, but also kind of neat-looking from a certain angle scrap bouquet he’s about to start working on.

“Can I help you?” he asks when he notices the tall, good-looking guy in the suit, who’s standing there staring at him like he’s got something on his face.

Yes, John is pretty sure than Lionel can help him. John can probably help Lionel too, when the pastry witch that works at the Safeway decides to hunt down and stamp out his rival.

[creedmarlowe]

𝐁 𝐈 𝐍 𝐆 𝐄 - 𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘

|| Welcome to the Biography of Creed Marlowe. I’ll start this off with the most basic information and follow up with the hard details. Big thanks for reading. ||

𝐁 𝐀 𝐒 𝐈 𝐂 𝐒

𝐅𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Creed Kells Marlowe

𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞: Cree

𝐃𝐎𝐁: April 22, 1990

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 30

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐬: Vampire

𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐓𝐲𝐩𝐞: A+

𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭: 6’4

𝐖𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭: 200

𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫: Dirty Blonde

𝐄𝐲𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫: Blue

𝐓𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐬: Double-decker bus inked in red on his right rib cage. There also exists a spiderweb towards its left. ‘SEX DRUGS AND ROCK & ROLL’ Tattoo. ‘Fuck fame it killed all my favorite entertainers’ Tattoo. ‘City Boy’ Tattoo. ‘557’ Tattoo. ‘The Temptation of Saint Anthony’ Tattoo. “MGK” Tattoo which is his artist stage name. ���Cannabis’ Tattoo. “And into the woods, I go, to lose my mind and find my soul” Tattoo. ‘PRISONER’ Tattoo. ACE of hearts Tattoo. ‘East 303’ Tattoo. ‘Fuck Off’ tattoo. Girls on both side of his Chest Tattoo. Banksy Tattoo. Anarchy Tattoo. ‘XXX’ Tattoo. Big Brother Eye Tattoo. Black Heart Tattoo. ALMOST FAMOUS Tattoo. ‘EVERY SINNER HAS A FUTURE EVERY SAINT HAS A PAST’ Tattoo. ‘Est. 1990’ Tattoo. ‘Guardian Angel’ Tattoo. ‘PUNK Couple’ Tattoo. R.I.P B Arnold Tattoo. ‘Mayhem’ Tattoo. ‘City Boy’ Tattoo. RHCP Tattoo. ‘Heroes get remembered. Legends never die’ Tattoo. LOCALS ONLY. ‘Blooming Rose’ Tattoo. ‘KISS THE SKY’ Tattoo. Jessica Rabbit Tattoo. Friend’s Art Piece’s Tattoo. Small Tattoos on Left Arm. Boy Walking on the road Tattoo. Red Die Tattoo. Danger Sign Tattoo. ‘Rose and Palm Tree’ Tattoo. ‘Love’ Tattoo. ‘The man sitting on the base of the Cut Tree’ Tattoo. ‘Red Flower Design on his left Elbow. ‘Seven-Pointed’ Star Tattoo. ‘Hotel Diablo’ Tattoo. Tattoo on the wrist of Left Hand. Casie Tattoo.

𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬: Chest under his right peck, faint scar in his eyebrow. Covered bite mark scars lace his body.

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬: Alive

𝐓 𝐇 𝐄 - 𝐒 𝐓 𝐎 𝐑 𝐘

𝐿𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓎, 𝐼'𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝓏𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽𝓉𝓈. 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝐼'𝓂 𝓁𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓉 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝓏𝓎 𝒹𝒶𝓇𝓀. 𝒯𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓎, 𝓌𝒽𝓎 𝓌𝑒 𝒷𝒶𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓎 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀. 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝐼'𝓂 𝓉𝓇𝓎𝓃𝒶 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒, 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒹.

“𝘊𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥! 𝘊𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥! 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦!”

The young child ran inside, tracking mud through his mother’s house. Laughter echoing against the pale eggshell colored walls.

“𝘊𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥! 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘴!”

His mother yelled after him as the light plastic boots thundered down the hall and along the carpeting. The boy fell, laughing as he ran from his mother. The woman removing his boots and placing them outside. His mother was upset about the floors but she wouldn’t ever let her son know that. He was a child, he did things that he thought were funny and non destructive.

The family was normal, until Creeds father returned home from work. The morning hours were filled with arguments and the rest of the day until dinner time was peaceful and filled with happiness. The boy had the ability to forget about the morning events that had woken him from his night of slumber but it would come rushing back once the door came open.

As the years went by and Creed grew older. He turned to music within school. The boy finding his first love within a guitar that had eight strings. The music scene in school changed as the older he grew. Being a guitarist in the school band was what seemed to make him popular. However, school was his place to fit in but home was more like a battle ground.

Creed was raised to take care of, to fix the things his father had broken. Physically or mentally. The boy looked after his mother day in and day out. Often times, he would tend school with zero sleep in his system. It began to grow hard for the male and led him to miss multiple days of school. He grew away from his music and focused more on his mother and home life. Dropping out of high school by the time he was a junior.

It wasn’t much long after that when the male began to experiment with drugs. It started with Marijuana, moved to Opioids and Molly, and not long after a hard acid trip, he tried heroin. A trip straight to hell. It was a trip that led him to the gates and didn’t have a ticket back. The male attended a party and that’s when it all started.

“𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰’𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨?”

“𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘊𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘥.”

“𝘊𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘥?”

Creed had drugs running through his system and alcohol traveling to his liver that night. He made a scene, rapping his heart out against another male around his age. Nobody knew the fact that Creed had been writing his own lyrics since a striking age of fifteen. The male that confronted him that night wanted to sign him, Creed refused. He wasn’t into that commitment. The male refused to take no for an answer and finally Creed gave in. There was a promise of large amounts of money and Creed agreed. After signing the contract, Creed began to release his own music. He made a stage name and he stuck with it, Machine Gun Kelly.

Creeds life began to change drastically. The money came rolling in. Cars, houses. Anything the male wanted? He got. Women, drugs, the list could go on. Once Creed hit his lowest point, a guitar fell into his hands and for a moment he finally fell in love with his music again. It didn’t stop the parties and it didn’t stop the drug use. However, it did make life a bit more bearable.

Then came his first live show. The show was a rush of adrenaline. The crowd was wild, the music was loud and the drugs were strong. The screams of women as he walked by, the people reaching out to simply touch him. The spotlight began to blind him. He couldn’t go out to stores or bars without being noticed. His face was well known and people often didn’t care for personal space.

Creed struggled to find himself. He didn’t want to be what they wanted but he wanted to be real and he strived to please himself. Creed had made mistakes all through his life, even as a child. Like the day he had ruined his mother’s carpet because his rain boots were covered in a layer of thick mud. Creed began to clean up his act. Once he was clean, the record label had noticed. He wasn’t as strung out and his music began to grow stronger and stronger.

Creed headed out for his first tour. The nights were long and wild. The male crashing every night on the tour bus with the rest of the band. One night, Creed never returned to the tour bus. The group couldn’t leave without the lead singer and so, they waited. Did he hook up with a fan? Did he relapse? Where was Machine Gun Kelly? The group waited until morning before they grew worried. The industry of being famous was a dangerous game but Creed was smart.

Creed had woken up in a unfamiliar place. Swiped from the back door of the show that night. He didn’t know what had hit him. When he woke, he was tied down and faced with a group of people. They wore dark clothes, their skin was pale. Creeds body had ached, his skin laced with his own blood. The smell of iron and salt tainted his nose strongly. The scent almost made him want to vomit.

“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵? 𝘔𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺?”

“𝘞𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺.”

“𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵?”

“𝘠𝘰𝘶.”

That year, Machine Gun Kelly went missing. That year the world mourned for a celebrity that many hadn’t even met in person. Regardless, the males music had made a rather huge impact on people. The group of people weren’t people. They weren’t human and they didn’t want his money. They wanted him. They changed Creed that night and ended his human life within a few seconds.

Years later, he resurfaced and the world was in pure shock. A lie was formed and the male was back on the road. Traveling city to city and state to state. He missed his fans but shows grew harder. Mosh pits that spewed blood, the constant urge to feed. As the years went on, it grew easier and the world shock seemed to dissolve. The male started to cover his scars that laced his body from the attack with tattoos and nobody ever questioned it.

Creed hides what he is very well. Nobody knew what he was or that he was no longer human. Who would believe it anyway? Creed strived to live a normal life even though he was stuck in time at the age of twenty five, now thirty and he didn’t age a day. He knew eventually he’d have to fake his death and he simply wasn’t ready for it.

He didn’t want to live this life just to lose it all. He lived everyday as his last and focused on releasing his music to the world. The male struggled with drugs still but they didn’t have the same effect anymore. The more he took, the better. Life would grow heavy and he knew what train to hop on.

The last things he heard was the sound of the crowd and the last thing he seen was the blinding lights of the spot light.

[everettmccormick]

— && guests may mistake me as ( colin ford ), but really i am ( everett mccormick + cis male + he/him ) and my DOB is ( 8/6/1997 ). i am applying for the ( waiter ) position as part of the EHP and would like to live in suite ( 306 ). i should be hired because i am ( dauntless & charismatic ), but i can also be ( sarcastic & astute ) at times. personally, i like to ( skateboard & graffiti ) when off the clock, but that won’t interfere with work.

tw; neglect, death, cursing, trash, emotional neglect, verbal abuse, hostile home, death, more trash

k, so as many of you are already aware:

so, I have trash children. rhett, is one of them.

rundown:

- he started ruining society in ‘97. born in edison, nj to megayn and clifford mccormick. his mom is the chief of police and his dad is a college professor/mathematician. (we’re here for the feminism)

- his first word was ‘no’ and it is still the most prominent word in his vocabulary, today... I mean, next to every curse word known to man. anyway, he had ODD and would basically be defiant due to this deep rooted hatred when it comes to power. this comes from the fact that his parents would always be at each other’s throats and thought that /they/ knew what was best more than the other in situations. basically, the household was a huge cock show everyday and they would take out their frustration in the marriage out on rhett and just.... blah

- his ODD only drew the household further apart, cause he was always getting in trouble which resulted in more arguments. one of his most notorious acts of deviancy was when a kid took his blue crayon, and said kid had a peanut allergy..... and rhett.... brought a peanut butter sandwich, nutter butters, an uncrustable and snack n go packs with peanut butter as the dip to school..... it was kindergarten.. before that, he got into a lot of physical altercations in preschool and most of it was because he was frustrated that no one could really understand him (speech impediment ). he..... jumped around different schools due to being kicked out.

- as he got older, he only grew smarter. he started throwing other kids under the bus, coming up with solid alibis. basically he was an evil genius before he hit the age of 10. it didn’t help that his mother taught him little things here and there cause of her profession. so, he can read people fairly well. this helps him scope out individuals who are naive, but also find everyone’s weaknesses to later use against them for his enjoyment.

- out of both his parents, he spent the most time with his mother cause he’d wind up at the police station a couple times a week. at this point, his parents gave up on actually punishing him. his parents just stopped addressing the issue and each other altogether, only really speaking in small talk that ended in seconds. this actually took a toll on rhett and was a fuel to kind of continue getting in trouble with the law; cause the only sign of anyone caring for him was his mom picking him up from the station. oh.

- he always had a preference for older women... like quite literally a mother fucker. he has a friend back home whose mother and him had a secret relationship for the longest time. uh, the preference obvi goes into the power problem and mommy issues. anyway, he met this girl in high school. she was newer like just moved to the area and he was like o_o and next thing you know she was bugging him everyday (basically she just wanted to get to know him and he was like FUCK OFF). uh, one day she just stopped coming around and he was like BUT WHERE DID SHE GO? so yeah, he caught feelings and put her on this pedestal.

- everything was fine cause like, ya know, his parents didn’t care but she did. uh, they started causing mayhem together, but she also wound up making him think twice about his actions. he actually didn’t want to go to university, but meeting her made him want to better himself. 

- uhhhh so the day the world ended for rhett, it was march 8, 2015. the story goes it was rainy af and he was just curled up on the couch with his girl. they got into a fight over the most stupid thing. basically, she wanted to go to UCLA and he was like SO YOU’RE LEAVING ME? cause trauma, he made it seem like he didn’t care. uh, the fight got p ugly I will not go into specifics. basically it just ended with her leaving the house and the next thing he knew was he flicked on the tv and she died in a car accident. so like ohp.

- basically the police arrested rhett for it because they found that the car was tampered with, and who else to blame but the delinquent boyfriend. this marked the loss of caring from his parents, seeing that his mother didn’t come to pick him up or bail him out this time. uh, he knows it wasn’t his fault via tampering with the car - but he blames himself for the accident cause ‘I should’ve cared more. I should’ve been supportive. I shouldn’t have said the shit I did.’ 

- he wound up avoiding any jail time cause the officers who cuffed him didn’t read him his rights and blahblahblah not enough evidence blahblahblah.

- he kinda just threw a dart at the map and picked up and left edison to come to chicago in order to start fresh. the scenery was just bland back at home, he had no family, and basically he killed the only person he cared about? I mean, and the whole town thought he was a murderer so... 

- now rhett is the hotel’s asshole waiter. if he isn’t high at work, he’s probs spitting in people’s food. like... a mess. 

- he keeps people at a serious distance, thinks nice people have ulterior motives, likes to feel the rain. he looks up to banksy, and gets his emotions out through being a vandal. he’s always going into an encounter either for his own gain, or just for amusement. he’s sarcastic, a memelord, and his favorite form of protection is putting a Pokemon card on the bedside table. he likes sushi and burgers. he also no longer has a speech impediment but stutters when nervous (rare). he likes being called Rhett or Everett. Em is an off-the-table nickname cause his gf called him that. he has isssuuuuessss but like not as many as what he has in his comic book collection. uh, he loves skateboarding cause he grew up on Tony Hawk and the video games. Stereotypical Leo, and he’s proud. Will 10/10 try to son/daughter zone you. Currently one step ahead of his demons, but it’s a tricky game.

ANYWAY, like this or hmm for plots. it’s ya gurl Ellie, so you know where to find meeeee.

[rcsecoloredx]

⌐ ( zoey deutch. female. she/her. ) did you see RAVEN SCOTT at the street fair the other day? i’m pretty sure they live in WALDEN, so i’m not shocked they were there. the 24 year old is a RADIO HOST at WPRS, right? i heard that even though they’re CHARISMATIC & LOVING, they can also be UNPREDICTABLE & SELF-DEPRECATING. i don’t think they want anyone to know this, but SHE’S PEACEBRINGER - THE GRAFFITI ARTIST THAT HAS BEEN TAGGING BOTH TOWNS. i hope for their sake no one finds out. ( logan. she/her. 23. est. ) ⌟

raven, also known as punk rock princess -- uh, only to herself -- is a garbage fire personified. she’s made of blink 182, vodka, and cheetos instead of flesh and blood. 

ever since she was a little kid she caused her mom and sister some real trouble. she got into fights at school and pulling hair was her favorite hobby when she was like 5. 

it was pretty apparent early that she was going to do something artistic. she got one of those plastic guitar toys when she was a kid and she refused to play anything else. she was rewriting lyrics to dumb kid songs so that they’d be cooler. her sidewalk chalk drawings didn’t look like an 8 year old did it, that’s for sure.

by the time she was 12, raven was writing her own music. she finally had a real guitar and refused to go to lessons because teaching herself would be more punk. she knew how to play the entirety of jesus of suburbia within the year.

when she was 14 she started her first band, but they were a bunch of babies who didn’t really care about music. she stuck with it anyway so she could have an outlet but it got tiring really quick. she dropped them, and got a new band. and then a new one. and then another. she hopped from band to band, some of the same members sticking around through the years as she figured out what the fuck she wanted to do. when raven was around 20, she finally found her people. they are all passionate and dedicated and it makes her heart sing. they have gone on tours and released albums. they’re even on spotify!! which!! isn’t hard to make happen, but she’s proud of it regardless. the bands name is ‘red riot’ thanks 

even though she comes off as a bit of a wild child (that’s because she is one) raven is a huge softy. she wants hugs and cuddles always? don’t tell anyone. she will legit fight you if you talk shit about her family though.

she actually gets into fights pretty often. especially bar fights. she doesn’t put up with people’s crap, and if you touch her friend’s butt you’re probably gonna get curb stomped.

she still lives at home because she can’t get her shit together enough to save her money, and because she’s just lazy and would rather have mom buy groceries than her have to pretend to be an adult?

she was never the smartest in school, but she was technically part of the popular crowd. people loved her and the parties she would through (sorry etta). she was a cheerleader because her friends made her do it, and she doesn’t want to talk about it. she never went to college because she didn’t see the point in wasting the time and money.

speaking of time and money, someone thought it’d be a good idea to give raven a platform?? she is a radio host at the local rock station, but only for part of the day. like, the afternoon when no one really is listening. she mostly just plays bikini kill and complains about her life, it’s fine. 

raven also!! is walden and briar glen’s very own banksy. she started this about a year ago, leaving messages in either town that are her opinions on the bullshit that goes on between them. she’s now known as the peacebringer, but no one knows its her. some of her work is just quickly spray painted words on park benches, but some are some real works of art on the sides of buildings. 

#hqrivals.intro

[dameferre]

Real questions for the Yam Au Pt.2: if Enjolras didn't get the reference, does that mean he hasn't seen Kid Gorgeous? And if so, which of Les Amis is correcting that?! Which people live together in this au? Did Mont actually stole the watch and did anyone tell Ep about the snap she wasn't supposed to see? Is Marius still in denial about being hot and did they throw him to the cops as a shield? Where was E/R first date? How blind is Ferre without his glasses? Is he the only one who needs them?

boy oh boy you’re really earning my undying love here okay round two of answers under the cut cause it’s long as fuck

a) enjolras has not seen kid gorgeous, his comedy tastes tend to lean more towards the political than john mulaney offers, he hasn’t seen the full show but he has seen (of course) the horse in a hospital bit AND heard john mulaney’s breathtakingly accurate law&order bits. he’s also watched the entirety of Hasan Minhaj’s homecoming king at least four times and eagerly awaits every installment of the patriot act because my boy supports CoC (comedians of colour) and witty political commentary

b) joly bossuet and musichetta obviously live together, and the recent marius/cosette engagement and cosette moving in w pontmercy forced courfeyrac to either find a new roommate or alternate accommodation [stares directly at combeferre] and as established bahorel asked feuilly to move in with him so this means both enjolras and grantaire have lost flatmates??? GASP jk what ends up happening is jehan moves in w grantaire and eponine moves out of her sketchy studio apt. and in w enjolras and they end up being stunningly compatible roommates in a shocking turn of events because they work in similar conditions and enjolras, already accustomed to courf’s constant stream of music has no problem w the amount of rap ep blasts on a regular basis and becomes quite a fan of snow tha product and awkwafina in the end (also now grantaire has a permanent excuse to come over and visit, conveniently ‘forgetting’ when ep is working on a daily basis)

c) the only things montparnasse actually deigns to pay money for are korean face masks and food (if he can’t avoid it)

d) no one told her, but she saw it on gav’s youtube channel anyway, and ‘accidentally’ spilled just a few drops of bleach on montparnasse’s new versace turtleneck. he’s been a lot more careful about what he enables since.

e) you know that pete davidson interview where he says he gave ariana grande a list of attractive men she could be dating instead of him and was like ‘are you sure? me? me instead of them? really?!’ that’s marius. every day.

f) courf would never let them use marius as a human shield against like. actual violence or anything but they do have a fun little tactic of grooming up marius and grantaire before demonstrations into the Good Intentioned White Male Students who conveniently stand right in front of the Blatantly Queer POC Gang

g) a week or so after the exhibition opens, enjolras casually bemoans the fact he still hasn’t had time to see grantaire’s work and the only day he’s free both courfeyrac and combeferre are “””busy””” and grantaire offers to go with him and show him around. the majority of grantaire’s work is weird neo-dadaist mixed media shit that enjolras Does Not Understand but he likes the way grantaire sounds when he explains them. afterwards they take a walk and talk about whether or not art has an inherent responsibility to be political. enjolras works up the courage to reach out and hold grantaire’s hand when he realises they both think banksy is overrated, and afterwards grantaire takes him to his favourite little pop up restaurant and they share a plate of fried dumplings

h) the second time combeferre slept over at courfeyrac’s, he went into the kitchen and saw courfeyrac sitting at the table, and bent down to press a kiss to his neck. this turned out to be marius. they never spoke of it again.

i) eponine is 21 years old when she sees leaves in detail for the first time, because her shitty parents never did anything about the fact that she obviously needed glasses because they were an unnecessary expense. jehan has astigmatism, musichetta is far-sighted and cosette fucked her eyesight by spending so much time reading in the dark as a kid 

#yam asks #thank you so much !! i love talking about my kids. side note about marius xavier serrano is white passing spanish so could be technically p #*poc but ya know [shrugs] #i have a lot of Thoughts about grantaire and enjolras' first date maybe i'll write a fic about it someday #anon #elle answers your questions

[bogb0ng]

Excuse me ma'am, we're going to have to see you answer 1-100.

Yessir! 

1. I always have more milk than cereal! (i’m basically a child) 

2. I love the cold on my cheeks but 9i don’t like th burning sensation after too much 

3. Scraps of papers sometimes i just fold the page corner

4. I take my coffee with just creamer and my tea i take black! 

5. Absolutely not! i love my smile and i’m very happy 

6. i do! i have a cactus at home and I have an aloe plant in my dorm room 

7. not really thats a lot to remember 

8. I use poetry, drawings, and writing to express myself. sometimes song lyrics 

9. fun fact I hum all the time if you listen really closely! if im really comfortable i’ll sing 

10. I sleep on my Tum! also wrapped around a body pillow because i get lonely at night 

11. we don’t have any yet! 

12. PLUTO! (viva la pluto fuck you!) 

13. talking to my friend Hunter 

14. it’s probably your typical open concept brick warehouse type flat 

15. a shot glass filled with neutron star matter would weigh as much as mount everest! 

16. I really like cajun chicken fettuccini 

17. either blonde or ginger 

18. I used to pretend to be married to my best friend in kindergarten... i guess thats one 

19. I’ve been wanting to keep a journal for a while, but i just can’t 

20. oddly enough I really like deep brown/hazel eyes, but also blue!

21. sadly that bag was retired long ago after the straps broke years ago, but i had a green turtle backpack with spikes all over it! 

22. NOOOO I’m very much the person who convinces you to get back in bed and snuggle 

23. walk around pantsless eat yummy snacks, binge watch netflix and  play video games all day! 

24. Yes, but sadly she’s in Alberta and we rarely get to talk, but she knows everything 

25. oddly enough i trespassed into my cousins old property to hot tub. 

26. A pair of brown boots my mom bought me (they look like hiking boots) 

27. Spearmint!! 

28. sunset! because then i get to watch the moon rise 

29. they check up on me

30. yes. petrified 

31. I love really fuzzy socks! i sleep with them when my feet are cold (which is apparently always right now) i have tons of wool socks, but like 2-3 pairs of normal socks.

32. I’m like never awake past 2 am so i don’t have any stories im sorry!

33. I really like cupcakes!! 

34. I still have him!! I named it Bubby.. it kinda looks like a mouse crossed with a bear?? and it has this rattle inside it.. idk i still have it somewhere and i love it 

35. I love them! but i don’t buy them ever because my writing is very messy and I don’t have anyone to send my pretty stationary 

36. City and colour mostly

37. my rooms a mixture of messy and clean at times 

38. I hate rude people! especially when people fake not knowing who i am or ignoring me.... and petty people 

39. black... most of my wardrobe is black lol

40. I have a bracelet from pandora that i lost and never found..... I’m really sad because it had all these charms that were sentimental to me :( 

41. the new harry potter cursed child book!! I was so into it!

42. I don’t but i guess timmies is cool

43. no one. i watch the stars alone most nights because no one will with me 

44. actually i’m feeling serene and at peace right now for some reason! 

45. yes. but also no because they can lead me astray 

46. I’m not very good with puns sorry!!

47. any kind of animal testicles 

48. Heights and falling from them.... yes i’m still terrified 

49. I never actually bought a CD 

50. I collect teeth... like the metal ones i’ve made in lab! (i work in dental) 

51. Slow hands.... (don’t ask me why) 

52. hewwo (i hate and love it) 

53. LOVEEEEEE rocky horror is my fave

54. myself....

55. straight up chugged some hot sauce 

56. a heart of gold, a sweet smile, a good sense of humor and a sense of the world 

57. It makes me feel good and of course~! go hard or go home 

58. Julians the vodka (aunt) and Ash is the wine (mom) 

59.the lochness monster actually! 

60. Anything from Neil highborne 

61. an already owned batman figurine i gave to my brother when i was 5 and i received a selfie stick.... 

62. yeppers!! either orange juice or cranberry raspberry juice 

63. i just leave em be 

64. pitch black right now 

65.Yeah I’d love to see Devon tbh 

66. probably big yellow sunflowers because i’m happy rn 

67. I love them! i feel at home oddly

68. very cold and covered in snow. YAY CANADA

69. i actually don’t like board games i prefer card games! 

70. no and i dont wanna 

71. I really like a tea called sweet lime 

72. yesssss!!! 

73. i bite my nails when i’m extremely anxious 

74. lets see they’re very kind and caring. they care about me no matter what mood i’m in they don’t talk with me often, but i always feel safe when i talk to them. 

75. i have a golden retriever! his name is crash and he’s a goofball!! 

76. studying 

77. PINK! OMIGOSH!!!! 

78. hateeeee

79. told me i was cute

80. white :( no i didn’t get to choose 

81. the dark spot/circle where a knot used to stick out of a tree on a stained coffee table 

82. not the greatest, but i try 

83. everything from imagine dragons 

84.yess!!! i want tree rings and plants 

85. i used to! archie comics all the wayyyy

86. eh no

87. rocky horror, a clock work orange, lord of the rings

88. banksy i like a lot 

89. i was a lot more when i was younger, but i’m struggling since we butt heads from time to time it feels 

90. CN TOWER THAT IS ALL

91. scotland!! i want to see my heritage 

92. DROWN ER IN CHEESE 

93. hair in a bun or down in my messy curly mop 

94. chris was! 

95. i’m going on a halloween haunt friday night and studying the rest of the weekend!! 

96. procrastinateee lol i hate updates 

97. ISFP, Capricorn, Hufflepuff 

98. it’s been a long time, but i love hiking so much!! i love being alone in nature 

99. hunter, chris, robin, brendan, josh, katie

100. probably 5 years into the future? im always wondering what the future holds for me so  yeah! 

[mellorstrummer]

Today I learned that I have some PTO accrued so I'm really stoked to use it on Riot Fest. That will also help with me getting things squared away for Fest. I also didn't even have my shift drink tonight. I just called a Lyft, only because the buses weren't running, and went home. I haven't been hungover in days and it feels great. I did my laundry, did some grocery shopping, I bought socks, I finally called maintenance on all the things that have been fucked up in my apartment that I have been too preoccupied with partying to care about. It feels really good. I'm working 6 days a week a lot but I'm trying to balance getting shit done around my shifts. It's also nice to have some money especially when I have Riot Fest and Fest coming up. I also finally made it to the post office to pick up up my cool shirt making fun of Banksy and the Dickies that my friend, Nick, made. Now, I'm bed in my pajamas watching Sex and the City. I gotta work tomorrow and plan to leave a little early to pick up my other tips because money money money. But I definitely will be going to see the Nuns of Brixton tomorrow. I met their lead singer at the Joe Strummer tribute show last week. He knew my name and I had a slight panic that we had already met but we hadn't. He played an acoustic set and it was fun! Then he came into my second job yesterday and I didn't recognize him because we get a bunch of Suits in there. It wasn't until he stared asking me if I enjoyed the Strummer tribute that I realized who he was. I am the worst at recognizing people and remembering names. It's embarrassing. BUT it's really rad to chat with people who love Joe Strummer and The Clash as much as I do. Even if they are almost always men way older than me.

[bloojayoolie]

Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Adam Sandler #Alive

[vamytas]

18th May ‘94

     Molly,

Thanks for your exhibition prints. I’ve sold a few off the counter, the deer ones are popular. Still find it funny that people opt for the cuter kind, even if the forest frolickers are dead, although when one woman came in to buy a wallet for her husband and I told her the deer was a taxidermy she didn’t seem as eager to look around much more! Shame, that. Tried to tell her half the cost went to the RSPCA but she didn’t buy it. I’ll see if Alex wants one. Have you sent some to Tommy? He’d like the mouse driving the car (that’s him, right...?)

I would say ‘same old’ here if it was true but it’s not. The bloke I work with, Rob, the one who thought it would be a grand idea to throw Alex’s surprise birthday bash, he hasn’t shown up for work in a couple days and he won’t pick up his phone. I could joke that it was Alex’s doing but at this point with the way he’s become such a recluse I wouldn’t put it past him. Maybe they eloped? Not that they have any reason to, didn’t catch on to anything like that. Not that you’d care, obviously (ha ha). I shouldn’t joke about it, though. Rob’s somewhere we don’t know...or at least I don’t know. Thank god Alex is responding even if it’s minimal. I asked him if he knew anything and  he said he didn’t. At the moment it’s a mystery to us but I’m not sure if Rob’s family have managed to get in contact, or if he has any family to worry over him, there’s a lot of characters like that around here.

Don’t be a stranger, even if you have all the critics climbing all over eachother just to glance at your face. Are you really going to try and pull the Banksy thing?

    Much love,

    Seb

P.S. Have you installed your dial-up yet? Data’s quicker to send than paper.

21 May 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: Beep, beep ... nnNNRRHH

Happy to see you’ve joined the legion of the world wide web! I know a lot of people complain about the noise but it doesn’t sound much different to what we used to listen to. You haven’t sold your original 20 Jazz Funk Greats, have you? Not sure it would even rake in much with what we drew all over the back, unless you or Alex get put in the Tate. With the way you’re going I wouldn’t say it’s a far way off! Also need more of those prints! Running low. You’re a popular girl here :) -- that’s called a smiley.

As for the Earnshaw Update: he’s as much a hermit as your sister used to be when she started getting into The Cure. I don’t know what instigated it but he’s only been reachable by phone since his birthday, and only at night. I’ve tried dropping in but his door’s been shut tight and I don’t know where he keeps the emergency key. You should try talking to him (I can resend his address if you’ve lost it, he hasn’t got internet yet). That’s if I can’t tide him over by telling him you’ve got a gift, next time he picks up... if he does. Sorry, that sounds very doom and gloom. I really am worried about him, if only because he hasn’t been in this kind of stasis since... well.

Please get back to me as soon as you can.

Much love,

Seb

23 May 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: He’s alive!

Did you send that print to him? I came by his place tonight and he answered after the first knock! Smiling as ever. He felt colder than a Yorkshire winter, though, and pale. I told him I could help with the gas bill if he needed it but he waved me off. We went out to one of those clubs where everyone is in fishnets and knock-off McQueen, which is nothing new, but they were playing that new MTV gothic stuff, the kind he said he hated -- could be broadening his horizons. I lost him for a bit but he found his way back, he’s somehow easy to distinguish from the crowd now (for me that is, imagine it’s always been the case with you, ha ha!)

He also told me that Rob went on a spontaneous break to Rome. Rob in Rome! And that I’d be getting a “confirmation of assumin’ such responsibilties required of a leather shoppe owner, as well as the salary”. Alex and him were closer than I thought.

It’s all looking up here. What’s happening with you? Apart from the Guardian editorial, you don’t tell me much apart from work!

Much love,

Seb

27 May 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: Concerned again.

I don’t mean to ignore the other topics covered in our ditties but Al has gone Weird. I know he always has been, in that ‘cool cousin’ kind of way but now he’s just... I don’t know. He’s practically nocturnal. There’s more and more stuff popping up in his wardrobe that he used to say was a ‘fuckin’ disgrace of shite taste’ -- the chokers! There must be about ten discarded around his whole place. I’ve seen some of his paintings too and they’re dark, as in David Lynch meets Goya’s black paintings, I mean they’re good -- really good -- but it just seems excessive.

Worst of all, he keeps mentioning Ricky. Since the accident he’s been fairly healthy with talking about it but now it seems like he’s got this growing obsession with ‘what it all meant, his death’, I don’t even know what Alex meant by that.Then he’ll ask me where I think Ricky is now and honestly I don’t know, I don’t like to think about it. I just keep saying ‘somewhere warm’  because it seems like Alex needs the comfort. I don’t know if what happened to Ricky got to him more than he let on before, or if he was too preoccupied at the time with making sure I didn’t do anything drastic. Was I that needy?

I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what to suggest either. Sorry to end on such a downer of a note.

Love,

Seb 

1 June 1994 

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: Dire.

I don’t know him anymore, Molly. When we don’t go out he just wants to talk about Ricky with me, like I’m a proxy for some kind of loss he’s going through. But I don’t know what loss that is -- you? It’s the only comparison I can think of. I feel like the kid stuck between two divorced parents with you two sometimes. Except he avoids talking about you all together and if I do bring you up, like how you were moving back to London, he just looks down, rubs his beard... a new habit. 

(Beard, yeah. I forgot to tell you because it was a really gradual transition at the time that I didn’t notice, but he has this Jesus thing going for him. Before, I didn’t think much of it but now it’s like an inherent look he should have been born with, innate? I could never imagine him looking like it but now it’s hard to imagine him looking any different.)

Anyway, beards aside. He’s getting... creepy. When we’re not drinking he just wants to postulate on death and ‘what comes after’, he’s a right fucking misery to be around. Although I haven’t seen him drink much at all, do you think he’s on drugs or something? It’s the only conclusion I can come up with, and I don’t have anyone else to ask about this because they’re all in the same scene he is.

Please reply soon.

Seb

2 June 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: -

Okay there are some things I’ve witheld for a long time because I didn’t want to cause you any unnecessary pain. As much as I know you say you’re fine it’s never a gift to hear these things but I feel it has a lot to do with how Alex is now.

After we moved to SF he started seeing this woman who I didn’t see much of myself,,  she set me on edge but I can understand how he was drawn to her because I think it was mainly a sex thing to get over you. I told yu before that he was a catastrophic mess after you left and things got better but when I say catastrophic mess I really mean it, I won’t state examples because I dont mean to make you feel guilty Molly but it’s the truth and I don’t know what to do anymore.

I didnt want to make uyo worry  because i know you;re already dealing with enough already, and i didnt want this matter in particular to be especially distressing for you. But I think alex and this woman were into heavy stuff  - not drugs but maybe that too. We went out while he was with this girl, in January, I think? it was to one of those fetish clubs, wasn’t my thing. But he left me there alone without telling me he was leaving, hhe left with the girl and didn’t even leave me  a voicemail. I got home fine, couldn’t sleep though. But then  I went over to check on him in the morning and his back was covered in gashes and blood. he didnt wake up but he was breathing. i didn’t know what to do,  i pretended i never walked in and he called me soon after to apologise for the night but i  wouldnt say anything about his back because i thought it was a bdsm thing but with the way hes acting now i dont know if he was being abused? I dont know the telltale signs, just that he’d follow this woman around like she had him on a leash.

There are still parts of him I recognise but there’s something about him which feels out of touch, like he’s not the same person but trying to be.  I dont know how to put it, maybe I’ve been away from someone who can actually talk about these problems for too long

The thing is I havent seen him with this woman in a while, since his birthday I’d say. Despite it he seems a lot happier now than when he was with her (apart from the Ricky fixation) but he’s gone full blown Byronic Bohemian.  He’s invited me out almost every day in the past week and since this was an improvement from locking himself inside, I tried to go as much as I could. Each time I’d lose him for a while because he’d gone off with a girl . He thinks he’s being discreet but I’m not much of a dancer for these places so all there’s left to do is watch. Sometimes he goes home with them and offers to pay me for a taxi, which is a step up from leaving me stranded, I’ll give him that.

I know I shouldn’t have but I looked through his art yesterday (his emergency key is in a broken light on a wall outside his door), not his stuff under the bed but in his wardrobe. There’s five entire sketchbooks of you, some of the drawings are so beautiful, he still remembers how you look exactly but in others they just seem... off? Not that they don’t look like you because they do, even if it’s a few strokes, but for someone who knows you they just look like he;s trying to put through what he is now onto you?  I don’t know. that doesnt make sense.Then there are some Ricky drawings in there too but  I don’t want to talk about them.  he writes stuff around you and Ricky, dates and places and random lines like ‘snake chokes on its own tail’ and ‘saw him around Seb’s’.  I  think he’s scared of losing parts of himself and not being able to get them back.

Please talk to him  Molly , you know his number and email . I know you think you’ll do him more harm than good but I don’t know what to say, if I point out how he’s acting weird he just resorts to deflective humour ‘it’s all part of being a la Americana now’. But I’m worried if I push it he’ll get angry. Sometimes I don’t feel safe with him and I don’t know why. Please reach him, I miss him, nothing’s right with Alex like this. I’m getting homesick because there’s nothing here that seems real anymore, everything feels like I’m watching it through a TV screen and it’s muted, or the music’s too loud to hear what people are really saying. I don’t want to leave Alex alone but I feel like I’m in a coma here.

Do you think I could stay with you for a while?

Love always,

Seb

#▏🌹 ▪ VANITAS. #▏▪ HEADCANON. #[IDK WHAT TO tag this as rn . . #its long .. . longest thing ive written on this blog and its not from alexs perspectiv.e.. #I DONT HAVE much to comment abt it im tired. .. #just a biffle's view of alexs days after his Death . .]

[shinewithalltheuntold]

So, I had the pleasure of attending the Once Upon a Time panel at Phoenix Comicon today.  Sean Maguire, Karen David, and David Anders.  I expected to be entertained.  I did not expect to almost ruin my makeup because they made me laugh so hard I cried.

Seriously, I cannot overstate how flipping funny these three were together.  And adorable and thoughtful and just...this was one of the best panels I have been to in a long time - which is saying a lot because I’ve been to some really good panels.

A few highlights Many highlights under the cut because OMG they were just so entertaining:

- Karen David trying to come up with a way not to spoil people in the audience who hadn’t seen the finale yet (the mod rightly pointed out that anyone going to a panel without having seen the finale of a show knows what they’re getting into.  Still, Karen was adorable about it.)

- David made a comment about Sean looking cooler with his bow and arrow than Stephen Amell and the audience all gasped.  David took mock offense because they were at a Once panel and not an Arrow one.  He then randomly dropped references to Stephen Amell for the rest of the panel.  So funny.

- Sean of course got asked about Robin’s death.  He said he was obviously disappointed about it, but emphasized that an actor’s job was to serve the greater story and that as a writer he understood that (didn’t know he was a writer so that was an interesting tidbit.)  He sounded more zen about the whole thing than the interviews I read at the time - understandably so.

- He then made joking references to Robin’s death off and on, including that if Robin had been in the musical episode the only thing he could have sung about was being in a box.  This led to David Anders singing a Robin Hood theme song.

- David Anders can sing. Both he and Karen sang during the panel.  Sean sort of halfheartedly sang at one point, but he deferred to the other two.  Karen serenaded us with a Galavant song. It was glorious.

- Karen and David would have loved to be in the musical episode, but Karen pointed out that the regular cast has a lot of talented people and they should take center stage over recurring characters.  Sean would not have wanted to be in the musical episode, but was happy it was well-received and that his castmates did well.

- Karen enjoys teasing Colin.  He apparently tried to get her to crack at various points and she took that as a challenge so now it’s a bit of a thing with them. (She apparently tweeted a picture of a ham to him at one point.)  Also, apparently someone tweeted “#pantydropper” to Colin once and it makes him turn red whenever it’s mentioned. So Karen makes sure to mention it.

- Oh, and in the finale scene where Hook calls Snow ‘mom’, the first few takes apparently Colin played it all over the top sexy just for laughs.

- David enjoyed working with Sean on the couple of scenes they had together.  He was impressed with Sean’s ability to cry (holding Peanut) and not break character even when dealing with cheesy lines.

- Sean finds that the more serious a scene is, the more he wants to joke around (which I so relate to).  He made a comment about that possibly being the reason he was let go.

- Karen was really excited to with Ginnifer Goodwin in her first episode.  She shared a care package her dad sent to her with Ginny.  And then gave little care packages, including tea, to her castmates a lot.  She stopped when she realized how expensive it was going to be.  She apologized to Sean because she stopped it before he came back.

- She talked about what a pro Lana is and how when she’s playing the Evil Queen she is totally into it.  But in the diner scene where the Evil Queen is force choking Jasmine, Karen made this really weird, loud choking noise that she broke character and apologized for.  Lana cracked up, and Karen said she had to be looking away in the rest of the takes so she wouldn’t laugh.

- When asked about props or stunts that were memorable, Karen said she absolutely loved the flying carpet stuff.  And working with Joanna.  She is totally in love with being a Disney princess; she referenced it a lot.  It was too cute.  Sean talked about riding the fake horse in the streets of “New York” and how ridiculous he looked and how the people watching the filming looked at him like he was nuts.  He also talked about how sometimes the arrows he used were CGI because “apparently the producers didn’t want him accidentally shooting his castmates.  Or the crew.  Or random citizens of Vancouver.”  David joked that the heart he used in his scenes was real, donated by someone named Doug who died and donated his organs to Once.

- They all love Eduardo and his costumes and what he did for their characters. Sean talked about how it helped him find the character.  Karen said Eduardo told her she’s be on a liquid diet to fit into her costume so she loved when wore the cape because she got to eat that day.  David loved the steampunk look to his costume.

- Someone asked what spinoff they’d like to do for any of the roles they played.  David said there had been talk of a Sark spinoff for Alias at one point.  Sean said he’d love to play the version of Ian Fleming he played in Timeless in a spinoff.  Karen just said she wanted more Galavant - maybe a movie or a musical.

- All three of them geek out whenever they get the chance to act with Robert Carlyle. They all think he’s amazing.

- David doesn’t know how to play anything but villains.

- David and Sean were fucking savage about Trump.  Sean did an impression of him that I’m pretty sure was the start of my tearing up from laughing, and when asked which real life hero or villain he would be he said he would be Trump so that he could shoot himself in the head.  Then at the end when they were asked who they’d take a magic carpet ride with, David said Trump so that he could push him off.  Sean said that David stole his answer verbatim and then looked out and said that they might as well do it right so he would take Pence on his carpet ride.

- Sean’s favorite thing to do besides acting is napping.  A highly underrated pastime. (Clearly a man with a small child.)  Karen likes going into the studio to make music, and is learning golf.  David agreed to help teach her.

- Karen is moving into Sean’s neighborhood.  Sean is helping her move.  Karen joked that she just wanted to see Sean in a tank top and then Sean talked about as actors how they’d all have the perfect “moving day” outfits and that if his clashed with Karen’s husband he’d have to go home and change.

- David moved recently as well into a “cooler” neighborhood and apparently someone wrote something about hipsters not being welcome in the neighborhood.  He left it up because it amused him and was actually kind of cool looking. He referenced Banksy in describing what it looked like.

- Sean liked doing Once Upon a Time in Wonderland because it let him develop his character a bit more.  And because getting two paychecks is always good.

- Now that I’m thinking about it, Karen did reference wanting to do a spinoff called “Once Upon a Time in Agrabah.”  She said she would take the magic carpet with Hook, and pick up Robin and Whale on the way because after spending the weekend with Sean and David she was bummed that she never got to have scenes with either of them.  (Seriously though, they seemed to have hit it off really well.  They were having a great time together and were really comfortable with each other.)

- A gentleman talked about how his wife had been battling cancer and Once was a godsend to her because it helped keep her mind off the pain of chemo and he was really grateful to the show for being so important to her.  Sean said something really lovely about how he thought he spoke for all the cast that being able to create something that was so meaningful to so many people and to hear stories like that was what made their jobs worthwhile.

- Karen talked about her parents and how inspirational they were to her.  They weren’t allowed more than $20 when they emigrated first to England and then to Canada.  Her dad framed the $20 to remind her and her sister of how important it was to work hard to achieve your goals and how supportive and awesome they were.

- She also talked about being bullied growing up and dealing with racism and how seeing Disney princesses like Jasmine and Mulan and Pocahontas helped her to recognize that those things she was being bullied for were what made her special.  When she was done talking, David leaned over and gave her a hug.

I’m sure there’s more stuff that I’m missing because the panel was pretty much an entire hour of amazing and I am so so glad I went.  Karen David is sunshine personified, Sean Maguire is witty and sweet and charming, and David Anders is so much funnier than I was expecting (and also had moments of sweetness.) I highly recommend attending any panel any of them do, separately or together.  But especially together because it was just truly delightful.  (And I am really bummed that I missed the chance to do the photo op with the three of them together now.  Alas.) 

#phoenix comicon #ouat #sean maguire #karen david #david anders #the whole weekend was fun #but even if it had been total crap #it still would have been worth it #for that panel alone

[goldenscript]

badboy!wonwoo

meet jeon wonwoo

he’s actually a really great artist like his parents got him a lil blank note book with yknow crayons and stuff and he used to go ham on it like all the time

as he grew up, it became his outlet to getting thru life bc even as a kid he was pretty intimidating and it wasn’t like he was very outgoing anyway so it affected the way other kids treated him

they always shunned him, telling him to go away and often equated him to that kid from the ring when it came out so he just stayed away from people and lived in his own bubble

art was a companion that could never shun him

however art also became a detrimental coping mechanism so excessively to the point where he was often doodling instead of completing his schoolwork so the only way his teachers could think to get him out of this mindset was reprimanding him for it

of course, it had an opposite effect

he continued to do as he pleased, becoming a lot more stubborn in the time that he was ostracized by his peers for not finding enjoyment in the same things as them and the older he got, the more this mindset became ingrained in him 

no matter what art was an important part of his life and no one was going to take that away from him

inevitably, wonwoo found interest in different forms of art from paint to colored pencils

but his ultimate favorite art form was graffiti

there was a united front about the way other graffiti artists in the ways each of them made their art their own, formulating their own stories without establishing an actual face

the artist was who they made themselves out to be. not rumors or stories about a boy who had no friends aside from the paintbrushes held between clenched fingertips 

and for him, he became someone more than just that weird looking grudge boy kid

he was someone.... he belonged somewhere

throughout high school, he developed a persona called jeon. given that’s his last name, he formulated this just for the sake of vaguieness and cuz he couldn’t really think of anything else LOL

so jeon is someone who battles his demons with a stare, kinda like medusa but he doesn’t turn them to stone. he turns them into paintings

he memorializes them for what they really are- mean people, demons, scary stuff only little kids dream of and for the most part, they become a hit to his graffiti buds and for anyone who is everyone (though those who aren’t in the graffiti community have no actual clue that this cool dude is wonwoo even if they share a surname)

this goes on for some time, even into wonwoo’s final year of high school where he’s graduating cuz mingyu, his new bff and only friend, encourages him after he told the older boy how he wanted to go to the city for school and it motivated wonwoo to spread his wings from his small town and wander ya know?

around the time when he’s integrating into college life with mingyu and their other friends scoups and vernon, he actually continues jeon throughout seoul city in subtle ways though not many people recognize it

anyway, with being in college, his maternal aunt sends her son aka his cousin, jeon jeongguk over just to experience some of the college life. she wanted wonwoo to show the younger jeon how college is beneficial even for misfits like himself (passive aggressive way of going abt it but wonwoo is just like “ok whateves”)

although it makes mingyu whiny that they have to lug around a kid who’s only two years younger and just as lanky and tall lol, wonwoo doesn’t mind showing his cousin around the city and letting him touch his stuff and eventually jeongguk discovers wonwoo’s sketchbook snippets of jeon and he gets all “??? what’s this??” finally an interest piqued in their time spent together and wonwoo lets him in on the secret after seeing how into the art his cuzzo is

as wonwoo explains the piece, jeongguk is so immersed and interested, he actually gets into the whole bit, wanting to do his own kind of art form bc he’s always enjoyed doodling and well, wonwoo can’t resist so he agrees to teach his cousin the craft

they go out to the tunnels near this abandoned train, just spraying around but enjoying themselves as twilight breaks and it’s nearly pitch black (though they have flashlights to help them out), jeongguk makes up a persona called kookie

he says he’s kind of like jeon but the art he memorializes highlights the good possibilities, that there’s light in darkness and he turns around those shitty monsters so they can be happy 

it’s cute really and wonwoo loves it cuz his cuzzo is happy too

unfortunately, there’s a patrol cop on the prowl trying to get his mitts on people like wonwoo and he sees small lights emitting from the tunnels and the two get caught tho wonwoo is quick to shut his light off, shutting guk’s off and telling the younger boy to run until he’s a safe enough distance that wonwoo feels relieved 

they decide not to go out for a while, hoping to avoid the same situation they suffered thru

but guk’s not done. he has more to add, and well, bc he went alone, he nearly gets caught before he sprints off and calls his cousin in fear and panic bc he doesn’t know what to do and fuck he rlly doesn’t want to go to jail or something 

and well, wonwoo can barely register his actions before he goes to the very tunnel and makes it blatantly obvious that he’s the one “defacing” the wall and he gets the blame for “kookie” 

he gets put on community service duty, forced to clean up the “vandalism” and set a 700 dollar fine that he knows his family can’t pay

of course his family doesn’t want to help, only wishing for him to learn from his mistakes and be an adult so he gets a job at the local convenience store and although he isn’t allowed to talk to jeongguk, his younger cousin feels awful, trying to keep in contact with wonwoo despite having to cut all ties with him

and that small convenience store is where you and him meet actually

it’s your second year at the university like wonwoo and as part of your work-study program, you decide to take up a position at the nearby convenience store since it’s close to your dorm and you really didn’t want to work at the sporting goods store on campus

going there, wonwoo is at the register, looking pretty bored and when he sees you, his eyes go a little wide before he asks if you’re y/n bc he’ll be training you and you agree only flushing a little bc wow he’s pretty cute and holy shit he looks intimidating (well at least until he starts trying to “train” you)

to say the least, wonwoo is only a little flustered by you bc holy shit you’re so nice to him

you don’t care if he’s too quiet or too shy sometimes and if anything you make it blatantly obvious that you like talking to him and he doesn’t get that at all

but bc of this mild confusion from him, it’s a steady burn for you two actually get to know one another but like most burns it’s an ache that soothes the coldest of hearts and it’s exactly that for him

you two will talk about your majors and what you like and he gets happy when he hears you gush about art especially pieces that obviously mean something 

don’t get even him started when you say you like banksy work and even these subliminal pieces you catch on the street aka his cuz he actually didn’t realize how mini jeon pieces would catch anyone’s eyes and yeah he gets unbelievably happy to see you talk about it with wonder

it’s really cute bc your training goes on for two weeks and he’s made it an unconscious effort to walk you to the dorms after closing

even afterwards, he still continues to walk you 

he can’t explain why even when you ask but it’s something he does and he continues when you make no moves to protest against it and he can’t help but smile to himself abt that

for some reason, he can’t get you out of his mind 

maybe it’s the nice gestures or the fact that you like his art or something but there’s something about you that gives him this swell of emotion he hasn’t felt since he created jeon tbh

you’re so new and different to him and for all the kindness you show him he’s truly grateful 

he isn’t sure how to express it tho especially when even talking to you is still new for him so he actually asks his friends for help

seungcheol told him to just let you know how he feels 

(wonwoo: hell no)

vernon: ummm.... idk bro 

(wonwoo: (-: thanks.... Bro)

mingyu: KISS THEM IN THE RAIN

(wonwoo: you punk what the-)

the ironic part: so, one day when you two are working together and it’s nearly time to go, it actually begins to rain and this moment where he shrugs off his leather jacket and drapes it above your heads as you wait for the rain to cease beneath the thin canopy, you look up at him with those fluttery eyes and his breath just catches in his throat and you glance at his lips, biting at yours with conflict in your eyes and suddenly-

you kiss him

you just do it after you release your lip

and he’s all red in the face trying to make sense of it before you start apologizing and he has to stop you, practically dropping his jacket on you which he apologizes profusely over

“d-dammit, i’m sorry god i’m a klutz... that kiss just rlly got to me cuz i wanted to kiss you and you just kissed me and holy shit did i just say that am i still talking why am i still tal-”

you hop on your tip toes and peck his lips once more and smile “well i’m glad i kissed you, wonwoo... i rlly like you” 

and he’s just in awe like wow YOU LIKE HIM TOO and naturally y’all go out on a date but one insecurity about him that he still hasn’t mentioned to you is the fact that he got busted for graffiti and that’s why he’s at the convenience store

he always danced around the subject so now that you two have become even closer, he finds it hard to admit to his crime bc before it never mattered when no one else really mattered to him as much as you do...

it really upsets him when that cop who busted him sees him and starts messing with him in front of you on your date together and although you’re confused he actually doesn’t tell you anything about it

no phone calls, no texts, and when he calls in sick from work that following weekend, you’re determined to figure out what happened

so you hunt down mingyu and ask him where wonwoo is, he tells you where the dorm is bc he knows that you mean a lot to wonwoo if he was that upset abt you knowing why he was working so when you get there you use mingyu’s key and searching for wonwoo who’s hiding in his bed 

not that he’s noticed you yet

his hair’s a mess and he actually looks paler than usual 

you can see in his hands are holding a black leather bound sketch book and he’s doodling away, possibly trying to cope and you sigh

when he hears your voice, he freezes up, trying to burrow away in his blankets until you stop him and try to get him to open up to you bc dammit you care so damn much abt him and him trying to push you away will only bring you back trying to smash that damn shell of his harder

until finally he relents and tells you abt what happened and you just hug him, telling him to move over and you lay beside and ask why he didnt want you to know that

and yeah he’s surprised you’re not condemning him to hell like so many other people have but he can’t help but cling to you as he replies “it’s not the most optimal thing you tell your significant other yknow”

you shrug, giving him a squeeze

“Well you can tell me anything and i’ll accept you, wonwoo. i promise” 

from then, he’s a lot more open with you tbh

he’ll show you sketches about jeon and you make him tell you every story he has about those ones just because you love to hear his voice

you don’t really mean to be so forceful with him but it takes prompting for him bc he gets so scared that you’ll reject his ideas but when you don’t he gets so confident and happy, he’s like a puppy 

on your dates he likes to doodle on napkins and you collect every single one

one time he just doodles a mash potato monster and you kept it in a scrapbook with the rest of the doodles and he just giggled at the sight

on your anniversary he actually drew an companion for jeon named miss jae. although she wasn’t battling monsters, she helped him with her powers of support and light 

as a surprise he actually took you out to a different spot and graffiti’d the two together and it was just the sweetest thing ever 

it’s his way of saying “i love you” and even when you complain that you have no super talent like this he still grins and says “yes you do. just say that and i’m all yours” 

(he’s a closet greaseball y’all)

the rest of the boys were rlly happy to see how happy you made wonwoo, even inviting you to one of their shows where you discovered yet another talent of his 

and you couldn’t help but gush about him bc of it

sometimes to people at the store, to his friends, to his mom (who loves you btw), and basically anyone who listens 

even when he’s begging you to stop with pink cheeks, you just grin up at him and say “no way. you’re amazing and everyone should know it. EVERYONE”

those are the times he likes to shut you up with a kiss 

#wonwoo scenarios #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo au #wonwoo fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen au #seventeen headcanons #svt fluff #svt fanfic #emswriting