#no you don't understand how much that video means to me i've wanted to make this for so long

[alfheimr]

My Favorite Cheap Art Trick: Gradient Maps and Blending Modes

i get questions on occasion regarding my coloring process, so i thought i would do a bit of a write up on my "secret technique." i don't think it really is that much of a secret, but i hope it can be helpful to someone. to that end:

this is one of my favorite tags ive ever gotten on my art. i think of it often. the pieces in question are all monochrome - sort of.

the left version is the final version, the right version is technically the original. in the final version, to me, the blues are pretty stark, while the greens and magentas are less so. there is some color theory thing going on here that i dont have a good cerebral understanding of and i wont pretend otherwise. i think i watched a youtube video on it once but it went in one ear and out the other. i just pick whatever colors look nicest based on whatever vibe im going for.

this one is more subtle, i think. can you tell the difference? there's nothing wrong with 100% greyscale art, but i like the depth that adding just a hint of color can bring.

i'll note that the examples i'll be using in this post all began as purely greyscale, but this is a process i use for just about every piece of art i make, including the full color ones. i'll use the recent mithrun art i made to demonstrate. additionally, i use clip studio paint, but the general concept should be transferable to other art programs.

for fun let's just start with Making The Picture. i've been thinking of making this writeup for a while and had it in mind while drawing this piece. beyond that, i didn't really have much of a plan for this outside of "mithrun looks down and hair goes woosh." i also really like all of the vertical lines in the canary uniform so i wanted to include those too but like. gone a little hog wild. that is the extent of my "concept." i do not remember why i had the thought of integrating a shattered mirror type of theme. i think i wanted to distract a bit from the awkward pose and cover it up some LOL but anyway. this lack of planning or thought will come into play later.

note 1: the textured marker brush i specifically use is the "bordered light marker" from daub. it is one of my favorite brushes in the history of forever and the daub mega brush pack is one of the best purchases ive ever made. highly recommend!!!

note 2: "what do you mean by exclusion and difference?" they are layer blending modes and not important to the overall lesson of this post but for transparency i wanted to say how i got these "effects." anyway!

with the background figured out, this is the point at which i generally merge all of my layers, duplicate said merged layer, and Then i begin experimenting with gradient maps. what are gradient maps?

the basic gist is that gradient maps replace the colors of an image based on their value.

so, with this particular gradient map, black will be replaced with that orangey red tone, white will be replaced with the seafoamy green tone, etc. this particular gradient map i'm using as an example is very bright and saturated, but the colors can be literally anything.

these two sets are the ones i use most. they can be downloaded for free here and here if you have csp. there are many gradient map sets out there. and you can make your own!

you can apply a gradient map directly onto a specific layer in csp by going to edit>tonal correction>gradient map. to apply one indirectly, you can use a correction layer through layer>new correction layer>gradient map. honestly, correction layers are probably the better way to go, because you can adjust your gradient map whenever you want after creating the layer, whereas if you directly apply a gradient map to a layer thats like. it. it's done. if you want to make changes to the applied gradient map, you have to undo it and then reapply it. i don't use correction layers because i am old and stuck in my ways, but it's good to know what your options are.

this is what a correction layer looks like. it sits on top and applies the gradient map to the layers underneath it, so you can also change the layers beneath however and whenever you want. you can adjust the gradient map by double clicking the layer. there are also correction layers for tone curves, brightness/contrast, etc. many such useful things in this program.

let's see how mithrun looks when we apply that first gradient map we looked at.

gadzooks. apologies for eyestrain. we have turned mithrun into a neon hellscape, which might work for some pieces, but not this one. we can fix that by changing the layer blending mode, aka this laundry list of words:

some of them are self explanatory, like darken and lighten, while some of them i genuinely don't understand how they are meant to work and couldn't explain them to you, even if i do use them. i'm sure someone out there has written out an explanation for each and every one of them, but i've learned primarily by clicking on them to see what they do.

for the topic of this post, the blending mode of interest is soft light. so let's take hotline miamithrun and change the layer blending mode to soft light.

here it is at 100% opacity. this is the point at which i'd like to explain why i like using textured brushes so much - it makes it very easy to get subtle color variation when i use this Secret Technique. look at the striation in the upper right background! so tasty. however, to me, these colors are still a bit "much." so let's lower the opacity.

i think thats a lot nicer to look at, personally, but i dont really like these colors together. how about we try some other ones?

i like both of these a lot more. the palettes give the piece different vibes, at which point i have to ask myself: What Are The Vibes, Actually? well, to be honest i didn't really have a great answer because again, i didn't plan this out very much at all. however. i knew in my heart that there was too much color contrast going on and it was detracting from the two other contrasts in here: the light and dark values and the sharp and soft shapes. i wanted mithrun's head to be the main focal point. for a different illustration, colors like this might work great, but this is not that hypothetical illustration, so let's bring the opacity down again.

yippee!! that's getting closer to what my heart wants. for fun, let's see what this looks like if we change the blending mode to color.

i do like how these look but in the end they do not align with my heart. oh well. fun to experiment with though! good to keep in mind for a different piece, maybe! i often change blending modes just to see what happens, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. i very much cannot stress enough that much of my artistic process is clicking buttons i only sort of understand. for fun.

i ended up choosing the gradient map on the right because i liked that it was close to the actual canary uniform colors (sorta). it's at an even lower opacity though because there was Still too much color for my dear heart.

the actual process for this looks like me setting my merged layer to soft light at around 20% opacity and then clicking every single gradient map in my collection and seeing which one Works. sometimes i will do this multiple times and have multiple soft light and/or color layers combined.

typically at this point i merge everything again and do minor contrast adjustments using tone curves, which is another tool i find very fun to play around with. then for this piece in particular i did some finishing touches and decided that the white border was distracting so i cropped it. and then it's done!!! yay!!!!!

this process is a very simple and "fast" way to add more depth and visual interest to a piece without being overbearing. well, it's fast if you aren't indecisive like me, or if you are better at planning.

let's do another comparison. personally i feel that the hint of color on the left version makes mithrun look just a bit more unwell (this is a positive thing) and it makes the contrast on his arm a lot more pleasing to look at. someone who understands color theory better than i do might have more to say on the specifics, but that's honestly all i got.

just dont look at my layers too hard. ok?

#process #art tutorial #unsure what else to tag this as. if this does not post properly i will cry.

[astraltrickster]

What frustrates me about disability advocacy is that...of all the people I've seen talk about it, 99% of them - even ones who are disabled themselves - have eventually proven that their support has limits. Really stupid and arbitrary ones, at that.

You support disabled people...but if you see an adult with a DIAPER BULGE in their pants in public it's ON SIGHT, get your kink out of my face! Actually, even if it's not a kink, that's still gross and, like, it's not like the diaper exists to CONTAIN waste, you're a biohazard! Just stay home!

You support disabled people...but, ugh, you're so sick of masks, they feel so icky, the CDC isn't advising them anymore so really how bad can it be, if you don't want to be permanently disabled even worse than you already are then why don't you just stay home forever?

You support disabled people...but if you see anyone using a non-conventional straw that someone's billed as "anti-aging" on TikTok you proudly declare that you'll smack them, because what do you mean it might be a motor control or sensory thing?

You support disabled people...but no one is REALLY so disabled that they can't manage their lights conventionally, clean their homes by themselves, or hold a pen for extended periods of time or at all; that's just something people make up as an excuse for Bad Tech and exploitative luxury services.

You support disabled people...but, god, control your by-definition-uncontrollable tics, they're SOOOO annoying and rude!

You support disabled people...but when someone stops masking or runs out of spoons and starts speaking in a choppy, hard-to-understand way, it's a joke.

You support disabled people...but AAC is, like, sooooo annoying and hard to understand, learn to talk like a normal person instead of pointing like a baby or whatever, geez.

You support disabled people...but you hate image descriptions and video transcriptions because they're, like, sooooo ugly and transcriptions SPOIL things. (Not to be confused with "frequently not having the spoons to translate images and videos into text, which is a skill; one which everyone should try to develop, but a skill nonetheless" - I get that, it happens to me, but if you take issue with OTHER people adding them to your posts for Aesthetic Reasons, you're...kind of a dick! I'm not sorry for saying it!)

You support disabled people...but you think teehee funny joke annotations are a much more valuable use of caption tracks than, you know, actual captions are.

You support disabled people...but you still concern-troll people with armchair diagnoses of heavily stigmatized disorders for harmless weirdness, or try to paint them as icons of some kind of horrible social ill.

You support disabled people...but you're still convinced that every asshole is mentally ill, probably A Narcissist, and what do you mean that's a loaded thing to call someone when a heavily stigmatized disorder is rudely misnamed as such too, isn't it easier to, like, change the name of the disorder throughout the whole system than it is to just stop using that word as your go-to Bad Person Pathologizing Word, which you definitely need? (Or worse, you see no problem with this clash because you're convinced it IS Bad Person Disorder...)

You support disabled people...but you see someone mumbling to themself on the bus and you get as far away from them as possible because it's "scary".

You support disabled people...but you constantly try to pull "gotcha"s about people telling you not to touch people's assistive devices.

You support disabled people...but someone being okay with their delusional disorder and talking about that is BAD and PROMOTING SELF-HARM.

You support disabled people...but your body positivity still focuses exclusively on "people can be healthy and fat at the same time!" as if people who ARE fat because of health issues and/or have health issues BECAUSE of their weight don't exist or deserve support.

You support disabled people...but you declare that advocates who want us all to have more access to things that improve your quality of life are the REAL ableists for acknowledging that those things that you currently can't do tend to improve quality of life.

You support disabled people...but your advocacy for yourself involves distancing yourself from people with more support needs than you.

You support disabled people...but you treat addiction of any kind, or use of anything with known addictive tendencies, as a moral failing.

You support disabled people...until the accommodations they need clash with your own, then it's not just a benign incompatibility that sucks just as much for them as it does for you; no, you are an innocent victim and they are a horrible ableist.

You support disabled people...until it's too inconvenient. Too weird. Too scary. Once that line is crossed, it's not a disability issue anymore, they're, conveniently, just a Bad Person.

It's fucking exhausting and I'm sick to death of it.

#disability #serious tag #bitching #and even after i posted this i keep thinking of more shit people have said #not gonna edit them in because this post is long and has already been reblogged a couple of times #but might keep track of them in the tags or add more in a reblog #because. i can keep going.

[brehaaorgana]

ADHD money/budgeting system I'm currently using for my benefit is going well (I've been using it for like half a year now?), and I wanna recommend it.

You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT. 10/10 do recommend. Uhhh rambling about it and my generic disclaimers + gushing extensively under the cut but TL;DR I think it's great for ADHD ppl, I've used it for 6+ months now and I find it super SUPER helpful. also weirdly fun.

DISCLAIMERS:

Budgeting helps you understand/know your money, it can't make money appear where there is none.

Everyone should learn to budget even if you don't have much money (especially then)

This is NOT a magic trick solution. Just like everything else, it is an assistive tool. This is one of those adult things we can't simply opt out of without negative consequences, though.

My advice is based on something I am currently able to do. That is, I can spend an amount of money on this specific thing that works well for me. If you have no extra money to spend then previously I was tracking things in a notebook. So you can still do this.

I believe Dave Ramsey is a fundie fraud/hack and no one should listen to him about money.

DID YOU KNOW THEY CANCELLED MINT???

Okay? OKAY.

Ahem.

You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT.

It is called YNAB for short. The first 34 days are your free trial, and that is my referral link. If anyone uses it and then signs up for a subscription, we both get a month free. Also you can share a subscription with up to six people (account owner can see everything but individuals can pick and choose what they share amongst each other) so like...idk your whole polycule can be on one account. Or your kids. Whatever.

If you are a student, it's free for a year. If you aren't, a subscription is $99 for a year (paid all at once) or $14.99 monthly, which is equivalent to paying Amazon prime. Go cancel Prime and get this instead tbh.

They got a whole article just on ynab and ADHD. They also have like...a big variety of ways to access their info? They have a book, podcast episodes, YouTube videos, blog posts, q&A's, free live workshops you can join (you can request live captioning), emails they can send (if you want) a wiki, and so on. They got workshops on all kinds of topics!!

So whatever ends up working for your brain. It also has a matching app.

If you lost Mint this year they have a gajillion things for moving from Mint.

Also they have a "got five minutes?" Page which has a slider so you can decide how much attention/time you have before going on lol:

They only have 4 rules of the budget, they're simple and practical, and it doesn't get judgey or like...mean about your spending.

1. Give every dollar a job 2. Embrace your true expenses 3. Roll with the punches 4. Age your money.

THEN THEY BREAK THESE DOWN INTO SMALL STEPS FOR YOU! They even have a printable! Also these rules are great because there's built in expectations that things WILL HAPPEN and it's NOT all or nothing with a fear of total collapse into failure. Reality and The Plan don't always align, especially if you have ADHD. So it's directing our energy towards the true expenses and not clinging to The Plan!! over reality.

You can automate a lot of shit (you can sync with your bank accounts just like mint, but also automate tagging the categories of regular expenses/transactions). And if for whatever reason you accidentally do something that makes the budget look weird or wrong:

A) you can usually fix it somehow OR b) they have like, a button you can press that gives you a clean slate and archives the previous version of the budget for you.

So if you forget for a few weeks or months, or accidentally input something wildly wrong, or just don't want to look at a really terrible month anymore and feel like you need a fresh start you can usually either fix it or start fresh which is really nice.

The app also (for whatever reason) scratches my itch to have things like...have incentives or little game-like goals in a way mint never did? I don't know why. Filling up the bars or putting money into the categories to cover my expenses is satisfying lmao. You can also make a big wish expense category for all the fun shit you want, and fund it whenever you can and then you can see the little bar go up and that's fun.

Anyways I've been using it for like 6+ months now and I think it's really helped me when I use it.

#adhd #adhd money #adult adhd #ynab #adhd blogging

[sage-lights]

today's been a hard day scrolling through smoshblr, and i need to ask y'all honestly how to navigate it all. i'm gonna bullet point my thoughts.

dani saying that she was not valued at her most recent job (which is smosh because her linkedin says she left march 2024) because her mentors/superiors were eager to help her grow until her growth became a threat. so she faced an unpleasant and unsupportive work environment at smosh, a common phenomenon faced by plenty of black women and other woc in entertainment and in LA (source here)

kimmy announced she officially isn't a part of smosh anymore. didn't want to "spill tea" (which dani didn't intend to either, they just both want to be transparent about career changes). kimmy is also a woc who moved from cast to crew, despite still expressing that she wanted to be on camera. curious, huh?

today's smosh games video with noah and olivia. noah has been talked about quite a bit on smoshblr already for his zionist views. (source here)

learned olivia posted a pro-israel story back in oct, but i read the replies on the post and it says that she also has posted about a ceasefire in gaza, but i haven't seen screenshots of it yet (not saying that it's like "pics or it didn't happen" though). reading through the replies say that tommy and amanda (oof, this one hurts) also posted similar things on oct 7. hoping they've educated themselves and understand why we need to continue calling for a ceasefire and supporting palestine to end the genocide in gaza. (source here)

olivia parked in a handicap spot and claimed she didn't know? i didn't watch the who meme'd it when it was uploaded, but it caused many fans to be upset at olivia for it. (source here)

damien, angela, and mallory are the only three i've seen say anything in support of palestine. damien said talked about it on twitch, angela tweeted about it, and mallory posted stories about aaron bushnell. (if anyone has the screenshots/sources, please leave them in the replies!)

i need to clearly state that i don't mean to bring any of this up as a way to bash smosh. as this blog will tell you, i'm a huge fan and have been for almost a decade. but with every passing day, it honestly becomes harder and harder to stay a fan. yet, it's equally as hard to let go of something that has provided me so much comfort (and probably saved me many times over).

where do we as a community go from here? guess i'm just feeling a little lost right now.

again, none of this is meant to be hateful towards anyone. especially because we don't know who they are in their real lives. we only see their public personas.

and to anyone who is confused as to why we as fans should hold smosh accountable for these instances, they are a company with a massive following. they have influence and the things they say and bring attention to reached millions of people. but beyond that, there are people involved. people getting the short end of the stick, getting hurt, for the benefit of a few.

i hope this all made sense. and wow, it's a long ass post. as always, i really appreciate the other blogs on here for being willing to talk about these things. it makes me feel much less alone in my confusion.

please keep all discussions peaceful. absolutely no hate towards anyone will be tolerated.

#smosh games #smosh pit #smosh mouth #amanda lehan canto #angela giarratana #shayne topp #courtney miller #chanse mccrary #arasha lalani #ian hecox #anthony padilla #damien haas #spencer agnew #tommy bowe #trevor evarts #smoshblr #olivia sui #keith leak jr #n*ah grossman #free palestine #all eyes on rafah

[nonotnolan]

Spring Break

Simon let out a deep sigh as he dropped Aiden's bookbag onto the floor of his dorm room. "Alright, man, you're all set," he said, giving Aiden a friendly nod. "I've taken the last of your mid-term final exams. Unless there's anything else you needed for me to do while I'm in your body, we're clear to swap back."

The first time Aiden had approached him, offering $200 to swap bodies for an exam... Simon had thought it was some sort of prank. The magical amulet was very real, as it turned out. How Aiden had found the item was unclear, but Simon had quickly learned that Aiden had no moral qualms about inhabiting other people's bodies. He was the fifth generation in a long line of successful businessmen, and so the expectation that money could buy anything he wanted had been hard-coded into Aiden's personality. After all, it bought him admission to a prestigious college and membership into one of the most competitive fraternities. Why couldn't money also buy you the expertise that you needed to succeed?

He fidgeted with the collar of his shirt. "I... actually, I did have a proposition for you," he said, avoiding eye contact. Ever since Aiden had learned that Simon was a gay man, he had been requesting that their quick academic swaps last longer and longer. Aiden was still in the closet, and living Simon's life for an evening allowed him to experience the life he wanted to live while still maintaining his straight-laced reputation.

Simon crossed his arms in annoyance. "I mean, I was planning on spending most of my Spring Break playing video games, but I know you're going to make it worth my time. What were you thinking, the first weekend?"

"The graduating seniors of my fraternity always book an eight day excursion out to the Hamptons. My proposal is that you would attend the trip in my stead."

"Jesus fuck, Aiden!' he yelled, taking a moment to process what he had just heard. "Eight days? Are you serious? This is the first time we'll be swapped for more than 12 hours, and you're just giving me a whole-ass week? What happens if your brothers get suspicious?"

Aiden just rolled his eyes. "Please, we both know I'm massively unpopular in the fraternity. They'll probably find you to be an improvement. Father allocated $20,000 for the week, plus travel and lodging. Anything you don't spend is yours to keep. What do you say?" Seeing his own body make Aiden's characteristic smarmy grin was still a really weird experience.

"I... Jesus, dude..." Simon would never be able to understand Aiden's detachment from the value of money. "I still can't believe you want to be me so badly. I mean... okay, look... that's tempting as hell, but... it was weird enough knowing that you've taken my body out to the bar scene. I don't know if I'm comfortable letting you live my life for over a week. What if you run into someone I know?"

"Oh, I wasn't planning to stay around here," he said, growing more excited as he began to sway Simon. "I've been preparing this trip for a few months by withdrawing Father's allowance and saving it up in case you said yes. If you give me your body for a week, I'll be flying out to San Francisco. Anyway, don't sell yourself short, this body is fantastic."

Simon shook his head in disbelief. "I mean... I want to argue, but I'd have to be an idiot to leave that much money sitting on the table. Alright, you've bought yourself a Spring Break trip." He picked Aiden's bag back up off the ground as he mentally steeled himself for a week in the life of an out-of-touch social scion. "Alright... do I need any extra information to pull this off, or...?"

Aiden hopped to his feet and wrapped him in an awkward bear hug. "Oh, you're the best. I'll forward you the trip reservations, and I'll change the PIN to my debit card so that you can just use that. See you in a week!"

"Yeah... see you in a week..." Simon echoed. He pulled out Aiden's phone, and scrolled down to the one person in the Fraternity who knew about Simon's secret, Aiden's roommate Grant. "You were right," he said, once Grant picked up the phone. "Aiden offered a swap over Spring Break and it was too good to turn down."

"Hah! Called it!" Grant said, with a triumphant laugh. "I told you you he would. I made certain to emphasize how much pussy all of us were going to be chasing out in the Hamptons, just in case he was on the fence about it."

Simon couldn't help but laugh. "Aiden really hasn't figured out that you're gay after all this time, has he?"

"Of course not, that would involve him paying attention to someone other than himself. And it had better stay that way-- dude's annoying enough without him having some sort of puppy dog crush on me. Anyway, I hope you're ready for a week of rampant debauchery in the Hamptons. Aiden's body is sexy as fuck when literally anyone else is inside of it. And we both know how sexy my body is."

The incoming text message was the only reason Simon realized that Grant had already hung up, but he was not about to complain about receiving a pic like that.

#male body swap #gay body swap #gay male story #casual body swap #preppy #spoiled

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

This Is Where You Stand With Me (part 2)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader

Warnings: none

Part 1 here

Y/N's POV

"Hola madre!" I say jokingly as my mother answered the phone.

"Too much influence from Sophie's boyfriend or what?" She chuckles.

"Yeah, something like that." I laugh adjusting myself on the couch. "How are you? What's new?" I ask.

"Nothing much, I'm just going back home from work. What's up with you?"

"I'm enjoying my day off from work." I say biting my lip not sure how's she going to react to my new "job" which I haven't told her about yet. But I'm certain she's not going to be thrilled about it.

"What do you mean y/n? What work?" As soon as she says "Y/N" I know there's no joking anymore.

"Well," I take a deep breath before I continue. "First of all, don't freak out, it's only my temporary job, you know while I'm here in Monaco with Sophie. And second of all, I started working for Ferrari practically. I'm managing their social media."

"Explain it a bit better, please. What does that mean?" She asks confused.

"Basically, I'm spending a lot of time with their drivers. I'm filming them for social media, like when they're getting ready for the race, asking them some questions, filming behind the scenes like what happens before the race, filming them training and stuff like that you know. And I edit those videos and then post them." I try to explain to her as simply as possible. but my mom, like most others, is not on the internet, she is not interested in the world of social media and probably still does not understand why anyone would be interested in any of this.

"So who are you filming then? Sophie's boyfriend and?"

"Carlos and Charles." As I say his name my mind wanders briefly to Charles and the grand prix from last weekend. I wonder how he is, and if he talked to Ava. and what happened between them afterwards. I also wonder if he has already thrown somewhere the bracelet I gave him. As I've already said, you just never know with him.

"Y/n?" My mom's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry my thoughts wandered for a moment. What did you ask?"

"I asked if you are satisfied with that job? Are you treated well? What are those boys like?" Like any mother, she worriedly asks a million questions and I, like any other daughter, of course, will not tell her everything in detail.

I have always been close to my mother, but I never liked to share every detail of my life with her, even though she wanted to know it. But I just wasn't comfortable with her knowing all my private things. I believe that you can be close to your mother, without her being involved in all your decisions, attitudes and thoughts. We talk more or less about everything, but I have set some boundaries for myself about what I want to share with her and I think that's exactly why we have a relatively good and healthy relationship.

"Yeah, I mean it's not something I'll do forever, it's just a temporary type of thing, so while I'm here I might as well earn some money." I say. "And everybody's nice to me, of course, I already told you that Carlos is a wonderful person and boyfriend to Sophie, and Charles..He's not so bad either."

"You don't sound so convincing with the other one." She says referring to Charles.

"Don't worry really, both of them are very nice, it's just that I don't know Charles very well yet and I haven't spent much time with him so I can't say much about him." I say honestly.

While talking to her on the phone, I get up and head to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. While walking to the kitchen, I pass by the mirror and almost get scared when I see what I look like. Shaggy hair in a bun, without a hint of makeup, braless in an extra-large t-shirt with a print of Los Pollos Hermanos that also serves as my nightgown and house slippers on my feet. I guess I'm not one of those ex girlfriends that has a glow up after a breakup, but oh well.

"Well, as long as you're happy and safe, I'm fine with it." My mom says. "And besides, I think it's good for you that you left Manchester for a bit. Stay as long as you want."

"Really?" I am a bit taken aback and surprised by her words. "How come you think so?" I ask while waiting for coffee to be poured from the machine into the cup.

"I-I.." Just as she was about to say something the doorbell rings. Sophie went to lunch with Carlos, I doubt they forgot their keys.

"Mom, there's someone at the door, I'll have to call you a little later, okay?"

"Okay, we'll talk later, bye." She says and I hung up the phone.

I leave my phone on the kitchen counter and just as I'm about to go into the hallway to open the door, I accidentally pull the cup with my hand and spill hot coffee on my right thigh.

"Ouchh!" I almost scream in pain while the hot coffee continues to pour down my leg. "Fuck!!" My eyes get watery from the pain and stinging. Cursing my clumsiness I grab a cloth and wipe my thigh which is burning more and more and the doorbell keeps ringing. I go and open the front door when none other than Charles is standing leaning against the door frame.

"Charles, what are you doing here?" I ask with a sniff. I don't open the door all the way, but just peek out with my head. The last thing I needed is him here while I'm crying over my coffee burn and looking like I got mowed by a tornado.

"Y/n, are you alright? Why are you crying?" He asks, his expression immediately turned serious as he tries to enter.

"I just spilled hot coffee on myself. Please don't come in.." I really don't want him to see me like this.

"Let me help you." He says ignoring me and coming in anyway closing the door behind him.

"No, Charles..I-I'll be fine." I say pulling my t-shirt down with one hand and still holding the cloth with the other one.

"Let me see." He bends down and removes my hand with which I'm holding the cloth. "You got burned well." He says.

"Yeah, I can feel it. It hurts pretty bad."

"Come here." He waves his hand for me to follow him into the bathroom. It seems like he has already been in this apartment before. They probably had some gathering at Sophie's, so he knows where everything is.

"Sit there." He says pointing to the tub as he takes a small towel from the shelf under the sink and soaks it in cold water. I briefly feel a sense of relief as he kneels down in front of me and places a wet towel over my burn.

"You know, I really appreciate your help, but I feel terribly uncomfortable-"

"Yeah, I already saw that you don't have a bra on." He cuts me off and my cheeks instantly get as red as the burn on my thigh.

"You don't have to point it out like that.." I can't help but chuckle a little at his nonchalant response.

"You really do have to stop embarrassing yourself in front of me." He laughs.

"Why did you come here in the first place?" I ask shaking my head.

"I'm here to pick up Carlos. We agreed to go to the gym together, and he said he would be at Sophie's." He says taking the towel off my thigh and soaking it again. "So here I am. Where are the two of them anyway?"

"They went out for lunch. I think they should be back any minute now since they've been gone for a while." As he comes back with the cold towel I notice that he's wearing the red bracelet I gave him last weekend. He puts the towel over my thigh again and gently presses it.

"And what are you doing alone in the apartment, except destroying it?" I really like this funny side of Charles. For I moment I wished he could be like this all the time.

"Certainly not waiting for you." I playfully answer back.

"Yeah, sure you aren't." He says confidently and I roll my eyes at him. "I'm going to clean up that coffee you spilled on the floor." You can see the kitchen from the bathroom, so he definitely made sure I knew that he saw the mess I made.

While Charles is cleaning up in the kitchen, I quickly go to my room and put on shorts and a bra under my t shirt. Since he's already seen me at my worst, I decide not to fix my hair but to leave it messy like this. It's already too late now to look presentable anyway.

"Have you put on a bra yet?" He asks shamelessly as I enter the kitchen.

"Has anyone ever told you that you can be very inappropriate?" I honestly ask him.

"Quite rude thing to say to someone who just helped you."

"Thank you. Charles. For your generous help." I say slightly sarcastically through gritted teeth. "Do you want me to check when they're coming back?"

"Why? Can't wait to get rid of me?"

"No." I roll my eyes. "I'm just asking if you're in a hurry."

"I'm not. I'll wait for him. I hope they'll be back soon." He says taking a seat on the high chair at the kitchen island.

"Do you want something to drink while you wait?"

"A glass of water will do."

I reach for a glass from the top kitchen unit and in the process I scratch the injured thigh on the handle of the lower element. I wince in pain and curse under my breath.

"Be careful, where is your towel?" Charles asks me getting up from the chair. Before I can say I left it on the tub, he's already back from the bathroom with it. "Sit there." He almost orders me and I do it obediently while he soaks the towel again in the kitchen sink. He moves my hand from my thigh and puts the wet towel over it.

I don't know why, but I decide not to tell him that I can do it myself. And he doesn't say it either but proceeds to hold his hand a little longer over the cold compress looking down at it and gently pressing on it. I lift up my head to look up at him and for a second we lock our eyes together without saying a word.

"I-I.." In a moment of nervousness I wanted to say something just to break the silence, but luckily I hear the front door open. Charles quickly moves his hand away and goes to the opposite side of the kitchen island clearing his throat.

"Hello..guys..?" Sophie says as Carlos and her enter the kitchen looking very confused at the scene before them.

part 3

#charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz one shot #f1 #f1 fanfic #carlos sainz imagine #f1 fic #carlos sainz smut #lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris smut #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine

[bonefall]

So, I'm writing an essay on the whole STATE of misogyny in WC for one of my university classes, and I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of things! No pressure of course, please feel free to say no!

A) Could I reference your good takes with appropriate harvard referencing and links back to your blog?

B) Are there any specific moments from the books that you think should be covered the most?

C) The end result will be a visual essay, so it's like those fun infographics people on Tumblr make on like ADHD and stuff, so when it's done, would you like to be tagged to read it?

(Sorry for anon, I'm nervous lmao, but if you'd be more comfortable I'll resend this off anon)

AAY good topic! You've got a lot to work with. Absolutely feel free to reference anything I've written, and tag me when you're done.

While you're here and about to write something so legitimate, I'm also going to recommend you check out Sunnyfall's video on gender in Warrior Cats. She breaks down the arcs into numbers, directly comparing the amount of lines mollies have to toms, and examining the archetypes women are usually allowed to be.

I think it's a must-have citation in a paper about WC misogyny.

...and, I think it's insightful to look at the WCRP Forum thread about the video. Note how the respondents immediately come into the thread to complain about how the video is too long so they didn't watch it, dismissing Sunnyfall as not being entertaining enough to hold their attention, even whining that she starts with statistics to prove her point, which I'm convinced she did exactly because they would have cried that she "had no evidence" if she didn't.

I am not a scholar, so I don't know how to document or prove that the books have an impact on the audience outside of anecdotes. But I think if you do write a section about fandom, it would be worth mentioning the in-universe and metatextual apologia for Ashfur and its reflection in the real world discourse, the authorial killing of Ferncloud because of fan complains, and the utter defensiveness against the discussion of misogyny you see outside of Tumblr.

You may also want to check out Cheek by Jowl, a collection of 8 essays about sexism in xenofiction by Ursula K. Le Guin. There's a very unique manifestation of authorial bias in animal fiction, having a lot to do with how the author views "the natural world," and it's worth understanding even though Warrior Cats are so heavily anthropomorphized.

So... Warrior Cats Misogyny

I think discussing individual instances can be helpful, but I'd implore you to keep in mind what's REALLY bad about WC's misogyny is framing and the bigger picture.

Bumble's death is shocking and insulting, but it's not just that she died. It's that the POV Gray Wing sees her as a fat, useless bitch who took his mate so she deserves to be dragged back to a domestic abuser, and he's right because the writers love him so much. It's that Bumble's torture and killing only factors into how it's going to hurt a man's reputation.

It's how Clear Sky hitting, emotionally manipulating, or killing the following women,

Bright Stream (pressured into leaving her home and family)

Storm (controlled her movements and yelled at her in public)

Misty (killed for land, children stolen)

Bumble (beaten unconscious, blamed nonsensically on a fox)

Alder (child abuse, hit when she refused to attack her brother)

Falling Feather (scratched on the face, subjected to public abuse and humiliation)

Tall Shadow (thrown into murderous crowd, attacked on-sight in heaven)

Rainswept Flower ("blacked out" in anger and murdered in cold blood)

Moth Flight (scratched on the face for saying denying medical treatment is mean, taken hostage in retaliation against mother for the death of his own child, which he caused)

Willow Tail (eyes gouged out for "stirring up trouble")

Is seen as totally understandable, forgivable, or not even questioned at all, when killing Gray Wing in an act of rage would have been "one step too far" with the ridiculous Star Line.

"Kill me and live with the memory, and then let the stars know it would only matter if a single one of your murder victims was a man."

It's the way that fathers who physically abuse their kids out of their ego (Clear Sky, Sandgorse, Crowfeather) aren't treated anywhere near the same level of narrative disgust and revulsion the series has for "bad moms", even if they're displaying symptoms of a post-partum mood disorder (depression, anxiety, and rage), an umbrella of mental illnesses 20% of all new mothers experience but are heavily stigmatized with (Sparkpelt, Palebird, Lizardstripe).

It's Crookedstar's Promise giving him two evil maternal figures in a single book, while bending over backwards to make every man in a position of power still look likeable in spite of the fact they're enabling Rainflower's abuse. Leader Hailstar is soso sorry that he has to change Stormkit's name for some reason, in spite of leaders being unaccountable dictators the other 99% of the time, and Deputy Shellheart functionally does nothing to stop his own son from being abused or even do much parenting before or after the fact.

It's the way men's parental struggles are seen sympathetically, and they don't have to "pay for it" like their female counterparts (Crookedstar's PPD vs Sparkpelt's PPD, how Daisy and Cinders are held responsible for Smoky and Whisper being deadbeats, Yellowfang's endless guilt for killing her son vs Onestar's purpose in life to kill his own), even to the point where a father doesn't have to have raised their kids at all to have a magical innate emotional connection to them (Tree's father Root, Tom the Wifebeater, Tigerstar and Hawkfrost).

It's less speaking lines and agency for female characters, being reduced to accessories in the lives of their mates and babies, women getting less diversity in their personalities, with even major ex-POV characters eventually becoming "sweet mom" tropes.

You could zoom in on any one of these examples and have an amoeba try to argue with you that "Oh THIS makes sense because X" or "Ah well my headcanon perfectly explains this thing" or "MY mother/girlfriend was abusive/toxic/neglectful and I've decided that you are personally attacking ME by having issues with how a character was written or utilized," but the beleaguered point,

That I keep trying to hammer in, over and over, across books worth of posts,

Is that these are trends. More than just a couple one-off examples. It's the fabric that has been woven over years, showing a lack of interest in, or even active prejudice of, women on behalf of the writers.

LONG STANDING trends, which have only gotten worse as the series progressed. From Yellowfang being harshly punished with a born evil son who ruins her life in TPB and the mistreatment of Squirrelpaw that begins in TNP, all the way up to the 7 Fridgenings of DOTC and Sparkpelt's PPD being a major character motivator for her son Nightheart.

So, I would stress that in your paper, and structure it less as "the Sparkpelt slide" and "the Yellowfang slide," and more as "The paternal vs maternal abuse" slide, and "the violence against women" slide. They're really big issues, there's tons of examples for each individual thing.

Anyway to leave off on a funny, look at this scene in Darkest Hour that I find unreasonably hilarious,

"Everyone who matters to me; my truest friend, my sensible and loyal warrior, the wisest deputy I've ever known, and 2 women." -Firestar, glorious idiot

He can't even think of a single trait for either of them what the hell does "formidable pair" mean lmaooo, when I finished a reread about a year ago this line killed me on impact.

#bone babble #cw misogyny #warrior cats analysis #SO good luck!! Absolutely ping me when you're done I wanna see lmao #Full disclosure I'm bad at responding to DMs because I open them and then forget #But I can try to answer your questions #Feel free to send questions in tho. You don't have to come off anon if you don't want i don't mind #I cannot stress enough. I'm just a guy who likes to yell about cats.

[harunayuuka2060]

Professor Trein: Let me say this again, headmaster. I'm glad to see you back.

MC: Thank you, Trein. Ah... Times have really passed.

MC: But I could still remember when you were still a teenager and courting this beautiful girl. *chuckles* Is she your wife now?

Professor Trein: *clears throat* *blushing a little* Yes. I wished you were able to witness our wedding.

MC: Ah, yes... Unfortunately, I just had to leave at that time.

Professor Trein: Don't worry. We completely understand. It was a serious matter and you had no choice.

Crowley: ...

MC: Anyway, *smiles* how has been Crowley as the headmage?

Professor Crewel: I'm afraid to say that he's been a deadbeat.

Crowley: Excuse me?!

MC: Oh dear.

MC: ...

MC: Anything else?

Professor Trein: Professor Crewel, the headmage isn't all that bad.

Professor Crewel: Which means he's 90% bad and the remaining 10% is his good side but with a hidden agenda.

Crowley: ...

Crowley: I would like to believe that I'm being practical at all times.

Professor Crewel: I'm going back to my class. And welcome back, headmaster. I hope that we would be seeing you around.

Professor Trein: I'm taking my leave as well. Have a great day, headmaster.

MC: Thank you, Trein. And you see you later, Crewel. Have a great day.

*the two left*

Crowley: ...

Crowley: I have things to do so if you would excuse me—

MC: Stay, Crowley. I would like to take a walk together.

Crowley: I don't usually walk around the campus—

MC: Then I'll carry you around just like the old times.

Crowley: N-No... That would be embarrassing.

MC: No one would know, Crowley. Though you're the cutest crow I've laid my eyes on.

Crowley: *pouts* Headmaster...

MC: *chuckles*

Ace: It might be that my eyes were playing tricks on me but I've seen the former headmaster carrying a huge crow, which I'm sure, was the headmage.

The first years: ...

The first years: Where?

Ace: They're walking around the campus. They're petting Crowley.

Ace: Headmage was like "Kraa..." whenever the former headmaster gently strokes his head.

Ace: I've taken a video as proof—

Crowley: *confiscates it* Trappola, you're going to my office.

Ace: H-Headmage!

Crowley: You have no right to spy on us.

Ace: But you two were in the public. That ain't spying. I was just simply watching.

Crowley: Do you want me to call your parents, Trappola?

Ace: No.

Crowley: Hmph! *then leaves*

Ace: ...

Ace: *turns to his classmates* *smirks* He doesn't know I've already posted it on Magicam.

The first years: *laughs* You're going to be in trouble, Ace!

Riddle: Headmaster? Why are you alone?

MC: Crowley flew off somewhere. He must've been tired from all our chat.

MC: How about you, Riddle?

Riddle: Ah. I'm on way to Science lab. *then realizes that he hasn't introduced himself yet* Eh?

MC: Housewarden of Heartslabyul, isn't it?

Riddle: Y-Yes...

MC: *smiles* You're still young, Riddle Rosehearts. You should be making friends at your age and enjoying your life.

Riddle: ...

Riddle: Thank you, headmaster. But your advice isn't needed. As a housewarden, I am enjoying myself.

MC: Oh?

MC: ...

MC: There's a leaf on your hair. Let me remove it for you.

Riddle: Th-Thank you, headmaster.

MC: *lets out a sigh*

Riddle: Headmaster?

MC: *smiles softly at him* It's nothing. Oh, and it seems I have taken too much of your time. *chuckles* Run along.

Riddle: Thank you, headmaster.

MC: *watches him walk away*

MC: *smiles* *black ink dripping from their hand*

MC: Maybe I should stay here for the time being.

#twisted wonderland #twst mc #twst crowley #twst crewel #twst trein #twst ace #twst riddle #the former headmaster of nrc

[reveluving]

I AM BACK AGAIN WITH MY HEAD IN HANDS AND HORNY BRUCE WAYNE ON MY MIND I NEED THAT MAN ABSOLUTELY INSANELY DESPERATE FOR BATMOM. SOMETHINNG ABOUT THE URGE.... DELICIOUS

BRB MICROWAVE NOISES ARE HAPPENING IN MY HEEEEAD 🏃🏻‍♀️💨

writing milf!Batmom was bound to happen at some point lol I was waiting for the day to finally happen fr fr SO HERE ❤

warnings: smut (18+ content, minors DNI!)

Look, with that many kids in the household, did you really think no one's going to talk about how sexy of a mother Mrs Wayne is?

Don't get me wrong, Bruce being called a DILF is not uncommon! Just look at him; a rich and respectable hunk of a man, who is also a father of six children and counting? So much hotter than when he was known as a playboy all those years ago. It was only natural for the public to talk about the missus in question as well.

Who could've possibly been the one to finally tame the Bruce Wayne and better yet, encouraged him into the married life?

You, obviously, and boy, did the public understand why.

No matter how much the media tries to deny it, they can never ignore your beauty, your grace, and dare I say, your MILF-ness.

C'mon, everyone's eyes were always on you the second you'd step foot into the gala. Oh, Mrs Wayne is here, in her new silky, silt-cut dress, matchint heels and jewellery that complements your every feature?

Sign me the fuck up!

You may have acknowledged the reputation bestowed upon you, but what you didn't realized was just how strong that power was.

But, of course, your reputation comes with a bit of a price to pay. Not by you, but by your children.

If there was one thing Dick, Jason and Tim were especially too familiar of hearing, especially on social media, it's about you, and the Internet can be very open with their thoughts. People are getting too comfortable on the app, as one would say.

While there was no denying that you were in fact beautiful, they were still your sons, and to see such language about you was almost as traumatic as seeing you and Bruce fooling around in bed.

• 'Mrs Wayne is so hot??? HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HER IN THOSE HEELS??? GYAT'

• 'I've seen her IRL when I was visiting her café and let me tell you; photos do NOT DO HER JUSTICE 🥵'

• 'If my future husband and I don't give Bruce and (Y/N) Wayne energy, I don't want it ☝🏼🤨'

• 'mrs wayne's thighs appreciation: a thread that will having you SCREAMING [includes 10+ photos]'

That last one in particular had an intimidating number of likes, mind you. As if their own set of fans weren't a lot to deal with already.

But hoho, if we're talking about Bruce Wayne's opinion on the matter?

Picture this.

It's like watching an edit of your favourites; going from a random video of you adorably scrunching up your nose to BAM—a slow-mo of you looking like a literal model. How or where anyone's ever gotten that footage from was uncertain, but if you asked Bruce if he's ever seen that video before?

Chances are, he'd say yes.

Repeatedly, even.

Hell, he might've saved it somewhere, amongst other 'tresures', for educational purposes.

He acknowledges the fact that you may be a teenage boy's fantasy, the dream trophy wife of many men, regardless if they were in their lonesome or in a tasteless marriage, but in the end of the day, you were his, just as he was yours.

And while he has the means to save your most intimate moments via his greatest machines, he actually prefers the good ol' polaroid. Saving at least a couple of boudoir photos in his pocket, wallet, the Batmobile, locked away in one of the Batcomputer's rack and much more. Whether they're photos of you lying on your stomach cross-legged in your lingerie, or even a picture of the two of you, glistening in sweat and naked in front of the mirror, he never ran short of his precious 'supplies', and he has more where that came from.

Knowing he was the only one able to not only see you, but make you writhe and scream and cum in his bed—in your bed, around his cock? He could die a happy man, truly. And he'll do just about anything you ask him to, no question?

Want his fingers inside you while he smothers his face in between your breasts? Certainly.

Want him to lie back so you can straddle his face and make you cum with that talented tongue of his? You don't have to tell him twice.

Want him to take your dress and lingerie off so slowly, even though his cock is aching to be touched by those sweet hands of yours? Say no more.

That man is always hungry for you, borderline desperate even, but what's new.

But, if it ever goes down to you, or when the public gets too comfortable voicing out, especially in front of you, and it clearly rubs you the wrong way, best believe he'll do something about.

He doesn't need the comments of others to know how sexy of a woman his wife really is, after all.

I wanted to write smut for this, considering it is a milf!batmom after all, but we all know how long it takes for me to do that HAHA I hope y'all still liked this one tho! Please don't forget to leave some sugar! ❤

#— reve's reverie 🌹 #— reve's asks 🌹 #a mother's touch series #batmom #batmom reader #bruce wayne #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne x batmom #batman x batmom #batman x you #batman x reader #batman

[cassandrasimplex]

Listen, when I say, as an abuse survivor, that Astarion's storyline is written with care, delicacy, and profound understanding: Since I completed it a few days ago, which I found incredibly cathartic and fulfilling due to points of commonality with the nature and causes of my CPTSD, I've been sleeping 7-8 hours a night straight through (instead of 3-5 at a time), my resting heart rate has dropped almost 10 beats per minute, I've had zero nightmares (based not just on what I remember but also on how much I move and talk in my sleep), and my fitness tracker wants to know what I've been doing different lately and whether I can keep it up.

I don't expect this change to be permanent or even long-lasting, but not even months of therapy at a time have ever had a positive effect so strong my tracker picked up on it. Not even when I was in crisis mode and only able to sleep 2 or 3 hours a day was therapy able to improve my sleep and my well-being so immediately. Astarion's storyline from finding Cazador's prisoners to the final confrontation, which took me a bit over an hour, did. If you want to count all the narrative build-up to that climax that gave it meaning, call it six weeks' investment for such a dramatic improvement.

The idea that trauma-aware roleplay can help people with PTSD and especially CPTSD find short-term peace and even a long-term improvement in overall functioning and mental health isn't new to me. I stumbled across it on my own, unguided, 30+ years ago. It's a bit newer to most therapists, but it's an approach used in experiential therapy and some related strategies and had been studied for much longer before its incorporation in such toolkits. But BG3 isn't being sold as therapy; it's being sold as a fun video game to play in one's free time.

The thing about CPTSD and recovery from abuse in general is that you have to practice new ways of reacting to the world. Therapies like cognitive behavior therapy focus on helping the patient replace old, maladaptive patterns of thinking that helped them survive a traumatic situation but hinder functioning in safer environments with intentionally-created ones that would have been too dangerous to practice in the traumatic environment but are healthier and more supportive outside it. These patterns have to be practiced, though; it's not enough to just correct yourself once with a more affirming statement and wait for results. You have to do it over and over until it becomes your new default. And results matter. If practicing the new behavior or thought results in the kind of negative outcome it would have prompted in the original abusive situation, the effect is that the old, maladaptive pattern is reinforced instead: "See? I knew acting that way would be too dangerous. I knew thinking that way would just be lying to myself. I already know what's best. The way I've always behaved in order to survive is what serves to keep me safe."

Which is why Astarion's storyline is both so effective and so astonishingly well done. Over and over, you get the chance to reassure him that your friendship is not merely a set of opportunistic transactions, that you don't want to control him, that you see him as a person rather than a puppet or a tool, that he can refuse to manage your feelings for you or even outright hurt your feelings without being "punished" for it. You can comment out loud to him when you catch him being manipulative and tell him that's not how your friendship works while still accepting and supporting him as a person, as a friend. You can make your friendship with him an environment completely opposite in nature to his relationship with his abuser. You can teach him -- and, if you need it, yourself -- what a safe environment looks like. And you can teach him that his abuser's behavior was successful in an environment created specifically to reserve all power for the abuser, but doesn't serve as well outside that situation, to encourage him to find healthier ways of dealing with the world than the ones that were modelled for him within that trauma. (Am I projecting? Of course I'm projecting; that's precisely what makes roleplay such an effective tool. It's a natural human tendency that can be used to advantage.)

And somewhere in your psyche, if you're a person who needs to hear all that as much as Astarion does, your mind is taking note: "How I thought the whole world works was wrong. Only that one little part of the world worked that way. The world is much bigger than the limited environment that hurt me. There are better ways to live and be." The parts of the brain where trauma plants its deepest roots can't tell the difference between play and reality, between past and present. They can't tell the difference between "I can make a safer environment for this person in front of me" and "I can go back in time and make a safer environment for the person I used to be." (That's why so many abuse survivors feel compelled to help other abuse survivors -- empathy, yes, and identification, but on a deeper level than that; we try to become the person who never showed up to help us.)

And if "this person in front of me" happens to be a fictional character, well, it can't really tell the difference between fiction and reality either -- especially when the fiction has a visible face and an audible voice and convincing expression in both.

I'm not in the slightest saying, "Go out and buy BG3 to fix yourself!" because using roleplay as therapy is far too highly personal and variable to expect consistent results from a script. There might be people whose trauma is reinforced by the same things that spoke so soothingly to mine. Larian is a video game company, not a therapist. But I can't get over the way a video game company for fuck's sake has created such a sensitive, tender, supportive story that it can even accidentally function this way. They didn't have to go so hard. They didn't have to lean so far into empathy. They didn't have to bring so much realism into it. They could have just told an interesting story. They did tell an interesting story -- but someone here decided they needed to tell it so well, so powerfully, that they were going to need to know exactly what living through events like those would do to a person, and how a friend would have to act to support that person in working toward happiness and health.

Well fucking done, Larian. Extremely well fucking done.

And although I can't reasonably expect the current effects to last, I can carry something lasting from here on; I can add "What would I say to Astarion right now?" to the list of questions I ask myself when triggered, when I realize I'm experiencing an implicit flashback. What would I say to Astarion? What would I say to a friend? What would I say to someone I care about who's been through the same things I have? What would I say to myself if I thought I deserved to be happy and free?

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #astarion #astarion ancunin #Larian #ptsd #complex ptsd #cptsd #child abuse #abuse survivor

[justash02]

Womanizer; 03

A/n; lemme know if you have feedback! It’s always welcome! So are Requests!

Plot; Everyone who knew who Tom Kaulitz was knew that he was girl crazy, he's very well known for having girls around him all the time.

Pairing; Tom Kaulitz x fem reader.

Previous chapter -> next chapter.

Master list

Taglist<3

*^*^*

"I wanna be yours."

*^*^*

We walked after Bill and soon found the other boys on the table. "Hiya! We're XO my name's clair, this is Ben and that's y/n!" She said pointing us out.

I'm so happy she's so out going.

I smiled as waved at the boys making them repeat it to me. Bill stood next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side.

He gently pulled close to my ear, "I think my brother wants to fuck you." My eyes widened as I looked at Tom who was already looking at us.

Before I could react I suddenly felt a hand on my hip pulling me away from Bill.

The familiar scent of Adam filled my nose.

"What's going on here?" He asked looking at Bill, Bill laughed and went over to sit next to his brother.

"Nothing much, just told Y/n that she can sing like an angel." Liar. I couldn't help but be amazed by how easy those words left his lips. Kinda impressive how good he can lie.

Adams hand didn't leave my hip and now it was clear to me that he was either being overprotective or jealous.

Toms eyes ran over my body, he looked like he wanted to eat me alive. Not that I would mind...

Let's sit down, it's gonna be begin soon!" Clair said she grabbed me away from Adam making him frown at her but decided to just not say anything.

Before I noticed where Clair was bringing me I was already sitting next to Tom.

He smirked at me before holding out his hand, "Hey, Tom." I felt myself heat up before grabbing his warm and soft hand.

"Y/n."

Before he could say anything else the host of the award show stepped on stage and started the show.

Clair tapped my leg and as soon as I made eye contact with her she smirked at me. Cheeky bastard.

A few rewards were giving away but none that influenced us, the time went by fast and it was already break time.

"Bro I'm starving." Tom said, he laid back in his chair, pushing his hips up a bit in a thrusting motion to get more comfy.

Oh...

"Go get some food then." Gustav said to the boy who was man spreading. "Yeah but the thing I want to eat isn't very appropriate at this moment." His eyes suddenly looked over at me, his intens eyes made me feel small and weak under his gaze, I hate that feeling.

"Dude." Ben said as he shook his head laughing, Tom just smirked at Ben before looking over at Adam. They had a weird stare off before I decided I couldn't handle this amount of cringe anymore and asked Bill if he wanted to go get some food.

The black haired boy nodded and smiled while getting up, he grabbed my hand and pulled me with him.

"I'm sorry it I made you uncomfortable with what I said, Y/n/n." He said, "Do you actually think so?" He hummed before nodding.

"Oh definitely. He's a womanizer. He's like a rabbit fucking anything that has a hole." He said laughing. "You're pretty and good at what you do." I awed and put my hand over my heart.

"Thank youuu." I said with a :> face making him giggle. I liked hearing him laugh.

"Not gonna lie I've always admired your way of being, I'm just so jealous that you feel so comfortable being yourself." This made him blush a bit, "It took me awhile but I'm there now I'm also really happy I got this far."

I nodded, understanding what he means, I hope someday I'll also be as confident as he is.

"When are the ANTI music videos coming out?", "We are gonna start filming in like three days, wanna come and watch?" I asked feeling more comfy around the boy.

"Oh, yeah sure! Yeah I would love that!" He said smiling softly to himself as he watched you bring a plate over to him, "By the way," he said as I handed him the plate, I looked up at him curious, "Don't let him get to your head, Y/n, he's my brother but you deserve better then that." I didn't know how to respond.

"Anyways! What do you want?" He said quickly changing the subject.

*^*^*

In the end we sadly didn't win the award, I could tell that the band really upset about it. I could notice they Clair was losing the confidence she had a few days ago at the interview.

I sadly smiled as her and rubbed her back as we walked back to the parking lot. "It's ok Clair, we did great! We don't need some stupid rewarded to tell us that." I tried to tell her but she seemed zoned out.

I gazed over at Adam who was already looking at Clair with a neutral expression, "Clair, we did all we could." Clair just nodded, she gently pulled herself away from me and walked to the car.

"What was that back there?" Adam asked once we were alone, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a cig

"Don't know what you're talking about." I said really not wanting to talk about Tom right now.

"Yes, Yes you do. Why did you let him talk about you that way, that guy sees you as nothing but a piece of fucking meat." He started to get angry with me. I sighed and lit the cig.

"Don't reacted us losing out on me, I didn't see the need to stop him because it didn't mean anything to me." I spoke, but deep down I knew that his words triggered something in me.

The way his body moved around me, the way his words sent shivers down my spine. His whole being is dangerous to me.

He scoffed, looking down on me trying to make me feel small, "If you wanna fuck your way to the top you can, I'm not gonna stop you."

Slap

His eyes widened as his face fell to the side from the force of the slap, "Don't you dare ever talk to me like this again asshole." I spat at him turning around on the heels of my shoes.

Clair who was watching the whole thing stood there in awe, "What was that."

"Adam being a cunt."

#cute imagines #x reader #tom kaulitz #Tom Kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel #Tokio hotel x reader #imagine #womanizer

[downbadspanishlad]

WARNING: Some of the following content may be slightly triggering due to discussion of abuse and trauma. Please don't read further if reading about that stuff could possibly hurt you! You're valid!

Masculinity in Baldur's Gate 3:

As a trans guy who didn't have with friendly male rolemodels growing up, the male companion characters in Baldur's Gate 3 mean so much to me.

While Astarion is clearly my favorite, I have a huge amount of love and appreciation for all the companion characters (male and female). But it's the several types of masculinity the male companion characters have that offer something for male and/or masculine folks like me to aspire to (in some way or another).

Disclaimer: I've unfortunately not had the time to interact much with Minsc, therefore I won't be including him in this post, but he seems like a lovely and cool dude overall, so please don't take his absence as a sign of me not liking him.

Astarion:

Astarion's interest in murder/violence and being mean are definitely not something to aspire to, but I do understand why he does what he does. His trauma is no excuse for his actions, but they do explain a lot.

I really like Astarion mainly due to how he is as a masculine character and how he's portrayed as an explicitly queer, slightly effeminate man with trauma.

In terms of being "explicitly queer," I mean this clip from this video:

As someone who doesn't neatly fit into the stereotype of being a trans man, let alone the expectations of what it means to be a "real man," Astarion's effeminate nature is something I deeply appreciate. 

(Note: That's not me trying to insinuate that trans guys me aren't "real men." It's solely about commenting on how men who are gender non-conforming in any way are told they're 'not real men').

He's very theatrical in his demeanor, and it's one of the things I love most about him. He's hilarious, he's fun, and he's able to be the way he is without being shamed and emasculated for it. I grew up + live in an area where being as theatrical and fun as Astarion is something that can get you shamed or even physically hurt for not being "man enough" in that way. 

As someone who exists somewhere on the bi/pan spectrum, I've loved seeing how the ladies of the BG3 fandom are totally chill with Astarion being pansexual. As a man with the capacity to find people of all genders (including women) attractive, I've often felt very insecure in my masculinity for being queer and "not masculine enough."

Guys like me usually get dismissed as being "only gay." That our sexuality isn't a real or valid thing, and that we're "lesser" than straight men because of our ability to find love with people regardless of their gender. Being feminine, in any capacity, as a man is a very terrifying thing due to the shame and violence we can experience for daring to be ourselves. 

And I don't want to equate my trauma with anything Astarion has been through (especially as someone who isn't a survivor of sexual violence), but I do find a lot of comfort in how Astarion's trauma is dealt with in his story.

So long as you (the player) treat him with the respect and dignity he deserves, Astarion is never shamed or made to feel "less than" for his trauma. The story of his trauma is treated with proper respect and care, and I absolutely love that. 

He makes me feel less alone and weird for how my own experience with abuse has left me with inner demons that I've yet to overcome. Like him, I experience night terrors due to my trauma. It's a very scary thing to deal with. And as a man, it makes me feel very small, ashamed, and pathetic. But seeing Astarion go through it and not having that be something he's shamed for is something I deeply appreciate. I know he's fictional, but seeing a character as cool as him going through that too makes me feel less alone and weird for it.

Wyll:

Wyll is a close second favorite character of mine. He's just an awesome, epic, badass guy! He's the kind of man I aspire to be. He does everything he can to help others, he cares deeply about doing what's right, he's a huge nerd/dork, and he's got the biggest heart amongst the companion characters (which says a lot in my opinion since he's got Karlach and Halsin as stiff competition for that category). He's very cool and lovely, and I really hate seeing how underappreciated he is as a character.

I absolutely love the meme of people saying that Wyll was the only origin character to dust himself off and head back to doing what he was doing before to get kidnapped and infected by the mindflayers. Man is too selfless and rad to take a break from helping the tiefling children how to fight.

I do want to give credit for this meme to this cool dude called Azeem (aka blackpurist).

As well as this post here on Tumblr.

Gale:

I'll admit, I didn’t really care for Gale at first. But the more I got to know him, the more I realized that this dude is (most certainly) on the spectrum. That's not a canon thing, but I absolutely believe that he is. Not a bad thing either (and I say that as someone who is also autistic). Honestly, realizing that many of his traits are autistic recontextualized certain things about him and helped me like him way more.

I really appreciate how straightforward Gale is as a communicator. The dude puts everything out in the open, for better or worse. He has no ulterior motives and does his best to make his intentions very clear. Love him or hate him, Gale is a dude you're not afraid of (unless you're a bad guy or something).

I also appreciate how passionate the man is about the stuff he's dedicated his life to (magic, which is most certainly his special interest). Gale is also very kind and open-minded, a good example of this being what he has to say about Astarion's vampirism. Gale's not my favorite guy, but he's an absolutely chill dude, and I'd totally be his friend if he were real.

Halsin:

So long as you save him and the Emerald Grove, Halsin is totally chill with you from the first moment you meet him. He's very kind, upfront, and non-judgemental, which is pretty cool.

I also really appreciate how much he cares about consent. Halsin is polyamorous, and if he expresses romantic interest in the player character and the player character happens to already be in a relationship, he makes sure to not pursue anything without the expressed consent of both the player character and their partner. 

I know caring about consent is a bare minimum thing to do, but unfortunately there are still a lot of people irl who don't care about it which is why I greatly appreciate how Halsin (and also BG3 as a game) treats consent as an essential, inherent part of romantic and sexual relationships. Very cool, indeed!! 😎💖🌟💫

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #halsin #wyll ravengard #astarion #gale dekarios #masculinity #trauma #gender shit #astarion bg3 #wyll bg3 #halsin bg3 #gale bg3

[astraltrickster]

I want to introduce a disability concept that I've been calling paradoxical stigma.

What is paradoxical stigma? It's the stigma against:

1) The actually disabling traits of a disability that's in the spotlight for the parts of it that are convenient to accommodate, and/or

2) The diagnosis of such a disability itself,

Due to the assumption that the spotlight renders it "destigmatized" and no longer in need of support.

As of right now, at least around this corner of the internet, the most obvious examples of this are autism and ADHD. It's become disturbingly common for people to treat those like Diet Disabilities That Don't Actually Count. It's been really interesting to watch the popular attitude about these disorders shift from "autism is either a tragedy or an excuse depending on 'severity', and ADHD is just a myth used to drug kids into complicity instead of teaching them actual skills", to "actually these are real disorders that affect people in all aspects of their lives", to "I GUESS they're real disorders but honestly EVERYONE has them can't we worry about more SERIOUS ones?" and...not in a good way.

It comes up...partially as a legitimate backlash to people with these disorders who think that invisible disability and/or neurodivergence begins and ends at their experience, and...yeah, that's a problem all right, in fact if I had a dollar for every asshole who looked at my struggles with things like keeping my space clean or not fucking up my medication doses DUE TO ADHD and went "well I have the same diagnosis and I don't have THAT problem to THAT extent, obviously you're just lazy and careless", or saw me having an AUTISTIC meltdown and called it "bullying" or worse because I get loud and insisted that I NEED to CONTROL that CHOSEN BEHAVIOR if I want to not be a Bad Person, or heard about how AUTISTIC overstimulation defense measures play into my trouble with cleaning and insisted that well THEY'RE autistic too and don't have that specific problem so this is clearly weaponized helplessness because I just don't WANT to learn to do better, I'd...probably have a lot more assistive tech. I also get really, really frustrated and upset when people use RSD to mean "if you ever criticize me that's the height of ableism, no matter how much I'm actually fucking up and hurting you" - especially since it's so often invoked as a defense against being lightly criticized for ACTUALLY harmful behavior and as much as it sucks there IS no substitute to make that more emotional-dysregulation-friendly beyond basic kindness in criticism. That attitude exists. It's bad.

And yet, theoretically, I think we could all agree that the response to that should NEVER be to reinvent the old "ugh, those aren't REAL disabilities, those are just EXCUSES that LAZY PARENTS make for kids being kids, what they need is DISCIPLINE" stereotype of the 90s-2000s, just now aimed at those same kids as adults, in ostensibly supportive spaces - or arguably worse, to revert all our understanding of support needs to the externally judged high-functioning/low-functioning dichotomy.

What really sets this apart as paradoxical stigma, rather than just garden-variety lateral ableism, is that 1) we CAN theoretically all agree that reinventing those stereotypes is a terrible response, yet many people do it anyway, and 2) these stereotypes are invoked not only because of that intracommunity misbehavior, but both within and outside of disabled spaces, because of the illusion that you can bring up those disorders and have them taken seriously because fidget toys and stim videos and weighted blankets are popular now. An event having quiet rooms, or backlash to Autism Speaks being visible outside of autistic spaces, will be taken as "proof" that autism stigma is over forever and anyone who complains about it is just a whiner who doesn't know how good they have it...even when what they're complaining about is, say, being barred from migration. Paradoxical stigma is enacted by people who think that they, alone, are standing up against someone who's throwing others under the bus to continue to progress their own limited agenda...when in fact they're speaking a very popular shitty opinion, that MANY of the people making that claim would disagree with HEAVILY once separated from the "crab bucket reflex".

As a personal example, the result is that when I'm looking for assistance, I'm...hesitant to bring up those diagnoses, because I know I'm going to be written off as "obviously a high-functioning low-support needs scammer who just doesn't WANT to CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY and EARN things" - even by people who otherwise agree that people should be allowed to survive even if they truly are the living strawman lazy bum who has nothing wrong with them but just WANTS to lay around eating junk food and doing drugs all day, AND that disability deserves to be respected, isn't black-and-white, and affects everyone differently; somehow when these combine in the context of my diagnoses that have had a very sanitized version of themselves "destigmatized" on TikTok, they cancel out into blatant reactionary sentiment indistinguishable from what I'd hear from my shitty token Republican uncle.

So, that's paradoxical stigma. Feel free to use the term if you find it useful.

#disability #serious tag #and yes it is applicable to issues other than disability #if youre seeing parallels to this in how same-sex marriage passing nationwide in the us #was the beginning of a big downswing in support for queer rights because what ELSE could these entitled freaks POSSIBLY want #you are correct! they are VERY closely related! not quite identical because it wasnt almost equally intense within the community as outside #but i wouldnt call you wrong if you wanted to use the same term! #speaking of bringing back the high-functioning/low-functioning dichotomy - it is NOT lost on me #just how many people dont take me seriously as a Real Autist because im usually ''well-spoken'' #therefore i CLEARLY cant have support needs that are hard to aestheticize right??? #as if that kind of misconception isnt EXACTLY WHY we moved away from functioning labels in favor of discussing support needs

[mochayoubi]

most japanese learning advice i've taken from my partner, which includes:

begin consuming native material as soon as possible and then merge it into your daily life as much as possible

find a method to review new words (such as anki) so you recognize them when you see them while consuming native material

look up things you don't understand

there is just no getting around some things. to get better at reading, you have to read. to get better at listening, you have to watch/listen to actual native material.

keep consistent <- if anything, this is the most important

when he says merge japanese into your daily life, he means try thinking in japanese, talk to yourself in japanese if you have nobody to talk to, switch your devices to japanese. this may sound intense, and for me it took a while to acclimate to it, but if you can manage it it does make a big difference.

because im more sensitive/hesitant about new things and had a lot more hurdles when approaching japanese, i'll add in what helped me:

like any skill, willingness to be consistent in learning something takes an attitude shift. for me it meant accepting that i had to be bad to get better - for you it could be different, but in general know that you will find yourself out in the weeds and that's ok

use native materials you actually enjoy, not just ones people recommend as "good for your level" (they may be good for your level, but if it's a slog to get through youll just make it harder for yourself)

go as slow as you need to, or get through it as best as you can. a dialogue you cant follow but still try to actively listen to is better than not trying at all. a book you need to stop to look up words every sentence is better than not reading at all

find something outside of pure language acquisition to motivate you. when it gets hard and you feel yourself stuck youll need that other motivator to get you through it. for me it was enjoying playing video games or watching shows and i could rely on my enjoyment of those things even if i didnt feel like actively studying the japanese words in them

in that same vein, find an overall goal to work towards. for me, i want to live in japan while knowing the language comfortably, so i think of how much closer to that i get to every time i learn something new in japanese

if you can, find someone to study with. having another person there doing the same thing as you can be massively helpful just to keep up motivation and keep each other accountable

make it easier for yourself, but make sure youre still consistent. read an easier book (but do read). reduce the amount of reviews you have an anki if you must (but do anki or -insert vocab learning method here-).

hope that helps! when it comes to specific areas to improve on i think that warrants a different conversation (like what to do for speaking or vocab practice) but overall these are what guide my studying.

#japanese langblr #learning japanese #mocha speaks #i'll also add that both he and i are on the more advanced level of learning but these still are important to keep in mind imo #long post #as for specific advice or resources..... idk get back to me on that

[dutchess-of-fear]

Jonathan Crane with S/O who has ADHD

A/N: I've decided to write a little thing of Jonathan Crane with someone with ADHD, which is quite simple from me cause I have ADHD, I am doing this one for the Nolanverse Crane but you can Imagine it with any other version of Jonathan Crane if you want

Warning : Fluffy, depiction of Depression,

Masterlist

You and him are very different from each other, Jonathan is calm and collective while you are basically all over the place but he understands that

I mean Jonathan is a psychologist (if I am correct😅 and if its Gotham scarecrow then he's not a psychologist)

He knows you can have great trouble of remembering certain things that don't peak your interest but if you are interested in his work, and he appreciate your detections to remember his work, he honestly doesn't mind repeating himself to you

You are not the best at keep schedule but you know Jonathan always helps to keep schedule and to always take the medication that you need for your ADHD

Jonathan always simplify what he is saying to you, as at times you don't know what's he talking about when he talks with such complicated words

But despite you being the most hyped up and bubbly person around, you tend to stay quiet and try to not make to much noises when in public

But Jonathan always reassures you by holding you hand as you walk around in public

Talking to strangers can be a hard thing for you to do, so Jonathan does the talking for you.

You also have a very hard time choosing what you want to have or what you want to do, but Jonathan always there to help what you want or what you rather do for the day.

Jonathan loves to listen to you talk about your interest, even if your interest is Disney or video games, or horror movies, he just loves seeing your face light up whenever you talk about your favourite things

If your like me, you can have moments where you felt like you hit rock bottom and just that dark cloud goes around your head, he is always making time to be with you and to make sure your alright, and he even would watch your favourite movies with you

But always the next day your back to your normal bubbly happy hype self again

When your too hype and you begin to just stutter at every word (cause your brain couldn't keep up) he finds it so cute and adorable, but you do get angry when you can get the words out of your mouth.

But Jonathan is always there to help out by either say the word you were about to say or always tell you to take a deep breath, calm down and then say what you wanted to say

You are basically the only person to make Jonathan laugh and smile, like he cannot keep a straight face when you begin a pillow fight at 8:30 in the morning

You can be a hassle at times to handle but Jonathan always still loves you for how you are and wouldn't have it any other way

You just bring colour in his life, and he wants to protect you at all cost

#jonathan crane #batman begins #cillian murphy #dc comics #batman #the dark knight #the dark knigth rises #nolanverse #jonathan crane x you #jonathan crane x reader #cillian murphy x reader #btas scarecrow #arkhamverse #arkham scarecrow #arkham asylum #arkham knight #year one scarecrow #fear state scarecrow #gotham scarecrow #dc scarecrow #batman scarecrow

[tarothouselattier]

What’s arising for you this Venus retrograde in Leo pick a card

Your expirience + advice from your Barbie as a spirit guide.

Pile 1: Barbie as Rapunzel

your experience this Venus rx

I think you are focusing on some sort of plan you have. You've turned your big dreams into practical plans that you dreamed to nurture and to bring into life and you were so excited. It was so shiny and new and you really put the venture on a pedestal in your mind so much so that it has now become a burden to you. These dreams don’t keep you warm at night, they keep you up instead and you're tired. You put so much pressure onto yourself to achieve this. The fact that maybe it's not coming into fruition is tied like a rope around your neck. You are in over your head with the things that you want to create so much that the thought is now controlling you, and you are now afraid of what you used to love.

I also see that this kind of thinking keeps you stuck in a loop and you're frustrated. You’re tired, you are paralysed with fear and you feel like you can’t do what you love because it’s kind of turned against you and you are sitting here sulking, looking at what other people have. Because at this moment your thing isn't working out you're saying "oh, I can’t have this, I can’t have that", so you find yourself in your tower away from the world. You're saying with what you have, but you don’t like what you have, and you are sitting there looking at other people's experiences, feeling left out in the cold and like you can’t have what you want.

The only one who is keeping your bag away, weather that bag is monetary or your bag of dreams and desires that you want to bring into life is YOU! You’re in over your head. And now you feel like you can’t have it because you're not participating in your own life to the fullest extent. By watching other people you kind of part your power with them (and I can't say that you're sharing power (like a person who thinks there is only one way to use words and you can't brake the mold whenever you please), because you are not doing it willingly). Don't watch other people, wishing it was you. And what is even graver is living vicariously throught other people. If you think watching videos of people living your dreams, watching them do/make things you want to make without taking action yourself will miraculously satisfy your desire to do this thing, honey, YOU'VE GOT A BIG STORM COMING.

It’s like you’re protecting something no person has taken away from you.

What you need to realise is that you are the only one who can just shift your perspective. And to tell you how SERIOUS I am about you shifting your perspective, listen to this.This is my pile as well, and that means your pile gets THE MOST from me. Why? Because I've done this reading 3 days before coming back to edit this text, and this whole lot of time helped me gain perspective. I literally channeled this much information and needed days to fully realise what this reading is about. I've literally come back to the cards and with my new-found expirience of 3 days and because of that I now see another message I can give you. I understand you better and your message, because I understand myself better. You just need to shit your perspective on evrything going on around you. You can still do all these things, they’re not going anywhere. It’s not about the things it’s about your attitude.

let’s take a really basic every day thing as an example. You do the dishes. They’re still gonna be the dishes, they’re still gonna be dirty. They aren’t going anywhere, they’re sitting there and they are needing to be done regardless of what you feel, right? So you can either be happy in yourself and have a positive attitude and wash the dishes with that happy attitude and do those dishes in a breeze. You enjoy it not because you're washing dishes but because you are enjoying life and you have joy inside of you. And on the other hand, you can be all sulky, bitter, angry and frustrated because nothing you what you want to do seems to be getting you anything you hoped it would. Now you're angry at the dishes while you're doing the dishes. But they are still the same dishes that would not be bothering you if you would jsut calm down and realise that what you need and what you lack is not physical accomplishments and money, but love.

You’re in over your head.

Advice from your Barbie guide: Rapunzel

Her archetype also came through in the cards, look:

The truth always comes out.

Just felt enclined to say that. Now that I have watched the movie, I remember that the truth plays a big part in the point of Rapunzel's story.

You may think that you are fighting an internal battle and you’re losing and like you’re spinning on a spinning wheel of life and nothing seems to be going in your favour. Maybe you’re just so used to external forces being against you. You’re so used to fighting with everybody, and even if there’s no one to fight you’re still doing it. Don't you get tired my love? isn’t like the whole point of fighting people is that you don’t wanna fight? You just want to happily live your life without interference from stupid people. zyou probably had to fend for yourself a lot when you were younger. Fight for your place and prove to people that you deserve to be as happy and well-off in live as you are. That you deserve to live your dreams easily and have fun just like that. People are jelous because they believe nothing in life comes easy and of course they're never satisfied. And when they see you just enjoy life and have fun, recieve anything you ask for and more within a blink of an eye they start to have you. They want to have it in life like you do, but they don't undestand your ease. They believe that it's impossible to live life from a state of hope, trust and ease. They believe everything is hard.

You don’t want anyone to tell you what to do, how to be. you don’t want anyone to be the story-teller of your own life. You are clinging to the idea that you’re lost, but the real thing is that you’re actually living in the big picture, okay?

Realise that you’re living in literal Cosmos and life is so much more generous than what it is you think in your head, it is so much more expancive and kind. The wheel of life is always turning. You never know what happens tomorrow, but you do know that you have your passion and your drive and you need to move. Forget everybody who may say something shit about you. You have your passion, you have your drive, the truth always comes out. You're good to go right at this moment.

Complain with me, let it out. It’s foggy up in the head but we gotta blaze our own way out with fire and magic like the Knight of wands that is coming through for us🔥🫡

Your Barbie‘s quote of advice from my self-made “Pinterest quotes” deck:

“STOP LETTING YOUR POTENTIAL GO TO WASTE BECAUSE YOU DON'T FEEL READY ENOUGH”

Literally pulled this card for myself TWICE before doing your reading.

If you chose pile 3 in my previous pick a card “What you need to say YES to instead of the usual NO” and you’re seeing this now, it just proves we’re in the same boat. It just proves that your dream is your kifeline and you're not delusional, I promise you. I feel like I’m checking up on my friends and this is how your things are going after the last time we talked.

PILE 2. Barbie and the Enchanted Garden(it’s a book) Barbie Lily

You are my magical, light, fairy-tail creatures!

Castles crumbled, you were left dissapointed. You're picking up the pieces now willingly and like it's fine, you're on your own. You're making up with someone but you're in this process on your own. Not making up with the physical person, but with their..spirit..more like the mental image of them in your head. It's like "it didn't work out, that's fine. I'm just picking myself up, forgiving and moving forward" But I feel like you're really snarky while doing so lol.

"Go and tell your friends that I'm crazy and obsessive, that's fine!"

It's like "ókay, I've got one less problem without you.(I'm really breaking into song here. Do you do that?) oh, you're leaving? Wheh, 'kay, I was tired because of you you anyway" I'm crying you're so sassy. I thought you were all love'n'light at first.

There was a person involved. I feel it stronglyyy. But there is literally no direct indication of that in the cards. "Out of sight out of mind bitch" lmao.

I feel like it's really time for you to revaluate the self. Really pick YOURSELF up.

Pile 2, I’m on a roll with you.

I am tuning into your energy literally the next day and you have already changed your perspective and see this situation and person clearly.

You’ve taken a loss and you have done so gracefully.  I am sensing this is definitely because a person let you down. This could either be your ex romantic partner, your business partner, or they are one in the same. Either way, fuck them .

I heard “I’m taking the dog, you bastard!!😠” and I kid you not, seconds later this card came out WITH THE DOG.

I thought it was more of a figurative situation to represent your power in the fight with this man. I can’t even say person. I would give you my left arm(left-handed) because I bet this is a man. If you are battling with this person and they literally have your dog, go get your dog mama!!!!!

You don’t need no coins from this person, you don’t need their money. You just get your “dog” back, get your power back!!! Kick him out of your life. You are on your own business, on your hot girl shit, on your plans, you’re assessing your own life situation. You’re so much better off without them. You see them clearly now. Gone are the chains that bound you to this person, you’re setting yourself free. Fuck shit up!!! I feel like cursing in this reading, I feel you are passionately mad. You have been disrespected by this bitch-ass man. But you see right through their schemes and their bullshit. You are withdrawing your energy, you’re having none of it!!! God I love reading tarot. AND I LOVE THIS FOR YOU. YES. BE FURIOUS. Channel your devine rage into building the life of your dreams. Fill yourself with meaning. You are no mother, no bride, you are KING. Your power is yours, and ain’t nobody taking it from you.

It’s the feeling of when someone gaslights you all the time, and there comes a point when you’ve had enough of their bullshit(you can feel the’re bullshitting you), realise your own power, step away and then see how much of a PATHETIC WORM that person is.

ADVICE FROM YOUR BARBIE GUIDE: LILY(Barbie and the Enchanted Garden)

Disappear off the face of the Earth.

I think what she means by this is become completely unavailable to that person and ANYONE who is not serving your highest good for that matter. Trust me, this is the best thing you can possibly do for yourself. 

Redefine yourself entirely and do it FOR yourself. You can do that by answering your inner call.

“You guys, your real strength comes from being the best you you can be, so who are you? What are you good at? What do you love? What makes you YOU!?” - Po in Panda King Fu 3. Kung * I decided to leave the autocorrect part because KING is very fitting for you. Maybe watch that training clip if you want. It’s when Po is training the Pandas to defend the village. You don’t have to be someone else in order to achieve your goals. You are not part of that person you left behind. You are not intertwined or attached at the hip, you never have been. Discover and nurture your inner power. You’re on your own now. You’re actually stronger on your own! Because you don’t have to split yourself apart for others and live with your cup half-full all the time.

“She’s beautiful 🥹” you’re going off on your own now, something you have been afraid off. This is the death of life as you once new it and your big entrance into the life you always dreamed of and deep down always knew you were meant for. You are meant for MORE in this life!!!! Just like you’ve always felt. There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with believing in yourself. You cut the cords with that person and in doing so you cut the cord to your old life, that you once believed would be all that you could have. I feel spirit, your guides being just so incredibly proud of you. The energy of “that’s my beautiful girl🥹🥰👍🔥 YOU GO HONEY!!!!!!! ayyyyy”

“And if I fall - they got me” - the song I can’t live without (haven’t heard it in a long-ass time😂) CAN’T HOLD US - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.

I’m so fucking hype right now, this song is PERFECT FOR YOU!!!!! And me. I’m going through the same shit, high-five Queen ✋😂

Please feel free to text me, send a message in my ask box or a dm, ‘cause I feel this hype energy so strongly right now, I want to know what is happening for you at this moment sister!!!

You are NOT a care-giver to everyone around you! They are responsible for their own shit, and if they are an irresponsible crybaby who never takes accountability then that’s their own.fucking.problem. You take that responsibility and accountability like a KING. And that’s all you need to know.😌 Don’t waste your emotions and energy and your love on someone who gives you NOTHING!!!! Stop overflowing that cup. What have they ever done for you, huh??? They didn’t ever pour into you and never held space for all that beautiful love that you spilled for them willingly. It’s like this: YOU BOUGHT THE TABLE, YOU BROUGHT THE CUP, YOU PUT YOUR WHOLE SELF INTO IT AND THEY JUST SAT THERE AND STARED AT IT. AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO MESS UP THE TABLECLOTH SO IT ALL SPILLED OVER AND THEY MADE A MESS OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL LOVE.

NAH-AH BITCH. KICK THEM OUT THE TABLE!!! YOU DID THAT!?!???? GOOD. EXACTLY AS YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE!!!🥰🥰🥰🥰 Spirit is really so proud of you and they applaud you for your strength and resilience and your love and power. NOW GO GET YOUR LIFE BECAUSE SPIRIT WANTS TO POUR WATERFALLS AND OCEANS OF LOVE AND ABUNDANCE ONTO YOU ASAP QUEEN🥰🥰🥰😂😂😂

PILE 3. Barbie & the magic of Pegasus

“I won’t rest till I’m in hell”. You have a personal “vendetta” against rest.

“Low-born” heard this multiple times while shuffling for your pile.

Let me give you a song.

“Angel” - Halle.

“Witch blood”

Paint it. Red.

Cut ties. But you won’t let this go.

These messages and energy are intense to a fault.

“Remember me for centuries” - Fall out boy.

God I love my job - me to myself while doing this reading.

Is there like a family situation? Greed? Expectations. Having to hold up family traditions that are EXTREMELY intimidating and harmful.

You just want to live a happy life on your own terms, but your hell of a family won’t let you. They corner you and your love wherever you go. Just when you think you escaped out of their clutches - boom, clap. You’re in their clasp. You don’t see a way out. Don’t exchange money for love or love for money. Those things aren’t in the same lane.

You have to choose love in your life. Cut trough this hell like a sword. “Wounds will heal, time will not.” - I think what this is referring to is that if you cut ties now you WILL hurt. BUT it WILL heal. What won’t heal is the time you’d be wasting by not cutting off those merciless gnomes(?): your family, friends, whoever or whatever it is. I don’t care. You MUST.

You won’t find what you’re looking for in greed and piles of money. What are you good at? Use it.

There is no expansion or generosity in greed. You will lose your family. You will lose everything. EVERYTHING YOU DON’T NEED. Everything that is not your soul’s to carry. This is divinely guided. You KNOW what you must do!

Once you were a hope for a dynasty. You will feel this immense loss of expectation buried in your chest.

There is nothing wrong with being who you are.

If you don’t cut your family off, or end and slash through whatever it is you must end, you will just become a frozen statue, a stone figure in the merciless house of your choosing.

Yes, YOUR choosing. If your choice will be not to walk away.

Wow. I am channeling like CRAZY today.

Go through with it. Or you will be just like the rest of those.

“Time will heal, but this won’t.” - time will pass, and so you might think that becoming complacent and conforming will save you. But make no mistake: you will spend THE REST of your life with this wound in your chest.

“You can make it different. You can make it right. You can make it better. You don’t have to fight”

A lot of generational trauma and karmic density is what I’m getting with your pile.

GOD NO WONDER PRINCESS ANIKA IS YOUR GUIDE BRO I CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP. WATCH THE FUCKING MOVIE ISTG. THIS IS INSAAANE.

Break the chains- reap the benefits. Take! the last stand!

There is always hope to shine the light on the darkest of winters.

“Now I reap the benefits with no congregation.” - Doja Cat in “Attention”.

ADVICE FROM PRINCESS ANIKA

DON’T LET THEM RULE YOUR WORLD.

CUT THROUGH THE NIGHT.

You ARE the Empress of your own world.

You are more than this world could ever imagine. You’re running out of time. Don’t let it pass you. Your time is NOW.

SHINE NOW.

UUUUUUHHGHHHHRRGHHHH.

You sit in the debris and wonder if it’s time.

- YES, it is TIME. What you’re reaching for is also reaching for you. The nine of pentacles. It is your birthright. seize your power.



“Woke up this morning - I feel so f*cking important. I looked in the mirror - I’m different. I finally made a decision.

All the rejected that lost a lack of respect in

Themselves 'cause people get hectic

They hurt you and make you feel helpless

They're not brave like you

They're too scared to do

Anything that's different

Anything that new

I don't need lessons

I do what I want, it's refreshing

As soon as you taste independence

You start living life in the present”

YONAKA - “SEIZE THE POWER”

BOMB SONG. Recommend. Will BLOW yow mtf mind. Idk why, but I felt such a need not to swear in this reading, but now I feel the need to say mtfucking. Feels so important. Like breaking free😁

You look down and see all that your family has done to you. stop looking down and cut your own head off if that’s what you must do to live.(with loving intention). Do you have everything you need? YES.

You have YOU. You, separately. you as in you personally. You own yourself. You alone get to define yourself you own your power. You are power, they are nothing. YOU want to Break free. Once you do, you realise you are everything you need. Once you claim your power and wield it like the Knight, Queen and Empress that you ARE, you realise they NEVER had ANY power over you. You just refused to wield your own power for fear of judgement. Of hurting them. They are the ones who hurt ppl. Not you. Them.

Their forces COMBINED don’t stand a singular chance against the sheer power that you alone yield.

Nothing. Period.

Wow, pile 3. I am speechless. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TEXT ME. Send an ask, a dm. I want to talk to the divine royalty that you are.

May the Gods bless you🙏

Now may you go in peace and fight with what is yours to wield. I’ll be waiting.

THE MOST POWERFUL MESSAGE I’VE DONE IN MY WHOLE LIFE HOLY SHIT GUYS.

I hope you enjoy.

I feel this pile deep within my bones.

We are royalty, pile 3. I know in my heart this pile is meant for me, but I’m so afraid to admit it. But I’m doing it anyway. I’m facing this fear that I stand up to and say: NO MORE! I feel like this is what we do. Say no to this with me.

Shine bright like the Star in the night. You are. You are. We are STARS. And stars are made to shine. That is their nature. No more hiding our true nature, my dear soulfamily.

GOD PILE 3 ALWAYS ROCKS MY FUCKING WORLD.

Goodnight.

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