#no one owes you their sexuality | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mariesstudying · 8 months

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I just saw a tiktok video that made me blood boil. The video is of someone saying that red white and royal blue is “problematic” because alex and henry are played by two straight actors, basically the creator is assuming the sexuality of the two actors and before anyone says I can’t talk about this because I’m straight, I’m actually bi.

This makes me so mad because you think we’d learned from what happened to Kit Connor. Whilst I completely agree that queer characters should be played by queer actors, we can’t just assume that because someone has not come our, that they are straight. Is there a possibly that one if not both of them are straight? absolutely, but that doesn’t mean they are. What happened to not assuming someones sexuality based on their appearance or mannerisms? I don’t care if they are actors, I personally don’t agree with forcing someone to come our publicly just because they are in a queer film. Now does this mean I think both of these men are queer? no, does this mean I think they are straight, also no, I’m not assuming anything about their sexuality.

I’m now worried that if this narrative spreads, we may end up with two more queer men being forced to come out before they are ready, comfortable and able to just because the internet has forgotten the concept of not just assuming someones sexuality or identity. If one or both of them come out as straight, then we should question why straight actors are auditioning for queer roles but in this case, lets not assume shit.

Istg if I see anyone say that they should come out because they “look straight” or something I’m gonna scream, it’s 2023 for fucks sake.

DON’T ASSUME SOMEONES SEXUALITY. THEY DON’T OWE YOU THAT INFORMATION, REGARDLESS IF THEY ARE ACTORS OR NOT!!!!!

#academicsunite #red white and royal blue #rwarb movie #queer #lgbtqia #no one owes you their sexuality #don’t assume someones fucking sexuality

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vampstel · 1 year

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LGBT discourse will never not make me both uncomfortable and pissed off

#꒰ v’s rambling ꒱#This is specifically about an actor who got forced to come out as bi because people were accussing him of queerbaiting #It’s just #so messed up #no one owes you their sexuality #or gender identity #That’s all that needs to be said #but also #It’s just weird seeing so many queer people throw this term around assuming someone’s straight simply because…#they aren’t queer-presenting enough??#or aren’t labeled/haven’t come out yet??#Like what the fuck??#y’all preach acceptance and breaking the binary #but then try to force heteronormativity on anyone that doesn’t fit your criteria of being queer #Do you hear yourselves?? You’re saying the same bs homophobes spout #‘break the binary’ but god forbid if you see a person you suspect to be cishet break gender norms #‘break the binary’ but also ur gonna use it as a guide to invalidate others and force them into a box #which is literally what you say you’re against #Please just… make up your mind?#I’m just. yeah no I’m done

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dawningfairytale · 1 year

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i'm not active in the heartstopper fandom but i just heard the news about how kit connor was forced to come out and i am absolutely disappointed and disgusted.

i'm assuming that the people reading this post agree with me that a person cannot queerbait. queerbaiting, to my knowledge, is a media corporation promising queer representation (often manifested as a kiss and/or relationship, possibly a coming out scene) by leaving hints but never delivering. for example, bbc sherlock and supernatural were classic cases of queerbaiting, building up pairings to be something but one never coming to fruition and the other immediately giving into bury your gays in the third to last episode.

a person cannot queerbait. some people claim that taylor swift queerbaits, at worst she is participating in some erasure of queer history (eg the colour lavender), but she is not promising anyone of her sexuality, currently presenting as straight. kit connor playing a bisexual character was not queerbaiting. people play characters with a different sexuality to their own all the time (i do it in my daily life). if we, as the council of the queers, claim that straight people cannot play gay characters, or are queerbaiting us if they do so, then we are implying that we can only play roles matching to our own identities.

i am aware that there is erasure present in the media, but i believe that sexuality is an aspect of a character that does not have to be mirrored by the actor. the truth from the story ought to come from the writing and production rooms, sure, or by doing thorough research and hiring sensitivity readers.

kit connor is 18. he should not be harassed for any reason, no one should, and especially not for his sexuality. there are so many reasons someone may not be out. coming out is a journey that can only be defined by the person taking it, as we learnt from heartstopper.

heartstopper and nick's journey is deeply personal to me. that doesn't change based on the sexuality of the actor. i am 17. i am bi. i came out to some of my closest friends while watching heartstopper. they are some of the only people i am out to.

i think that some people, the "chronically online 13 year olds", if you will, don't understand that it is not safe for everyone to be out of the closet, for a variety of reasons. accepting your own sexuality may not be as easy as "oh i want to fuck that person of the same gender as me, turns out i'm queer" and dropping it in conversation to your family. for some people, it's like that, and i'm thankful for them that it is. but there are many reasons someone may not want to come out. they may not be safe to come out in their home. they may fear being ostracised for religious or political reasons, but still desire to be part of that pre-existing community. they may lose their jobs. they may lose relationships. i am a practising christian, in a christian family. they overreacted enough when i joined my school's queer group "as an ally" (which i thought was true at the time), promising that, if i were gay, there would be a far longer conversation. that terrifies me. but i'd like to create sapphic art one day. does my refusal to come out beyond a screen invalidate that?

we don't know what kit connor's conditions were. we don't know what he risked in coming out. we don't know what jobs he may lose, what relationships he may lose, what communities he may lose. it is none of our business. no one owes you their sexuality, regardless of their public position or their relationship to you. my heart goes out to kit connor as he traverses this, and i truly hope he has a strong support system.

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doodleddaisies · 1 year

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Not kit connor breaking my heart on Twitter 💔 people you can consume media without being fucking awful to the creators/actors/whoever. People don’t owe you their sexualities.

Anyway kit I’m sorry that people are awful, but please know that there is a loving and supportive fan base <3

#like leave him alone???#don’t force people to come out???#ugh #too fucking close to home #no one owes you their sexuality #kit connor #heartstopper

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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My best advice for trans people who are interacting with transphobes is to not delve into your personal experiences with dysphoria, childhood, sexual experiences, literally anything.

When I was a younger trans person, I thought I could prove my humanity to transphobes by delving into those aspects of my life. I genuinely thought that the more personal information I put out about my transness to transphobes, I could awaken something in them and make them realize "holy shit, I'm talking to a human being and not an abstraction of a 'person'".

What I learned, though, is that all I did was give those transphobes power over me. Transphobia often relies on unfalsifiable "theory" - that means that you cannot prove their theories of transness wrong. By playing their game, all you do is set yourself up to feel humiliated and degraded. By playing this game, you have already lost because they will cheat the game as many times as needed because they are going in with inherent bad faith.

You, in fact, do not owe your life story to transphobes. Their theory about transness is, simply put, that trans people can never be correct about our experiences. There will always be an ulterior motive for trans people in their eyes, because that is all they see. Don't give them that over you.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #the information i put on this blog isn't to prove my humanity and it's for other trans people first and foremost but...#...transphobes have tried using it against me which is always more funny to me than anything else #think about the 'theories' about transness to see how they RELY on being unfalsifiable...#...because unfalsifiability is ALL they have. that is the ONLY thing that gives them 'credibility'#one of the most famous instances of this is probably the first one you thought about if you're at all familiar with transphobic 'theory'#but anyway... baby trans people (affectionate) you owe people NOTHING #you don't owe your life story/your asab/your gender/your sexuality/NADA. NOTHING. ZILCH.#basically transphobes would make freud cry tears of pride because of the unfalsifiable narratives they push #i have definitely talked about this before but it bares repeating

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darkwood-sleddog · 1 year

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In an era of the United States where books with queer themes are being banned, where bills requiring teachers out their students is discussed and often passed in state legislature, where queer culture is being used a boogeyman by the right day in and day out, where our rights hang in the balance I cannot believe I have to see over and over again that people in the public eye should “just come out already” or “what even are the consequences anyways” or equating peoples privacy, questioning or unlabeled identities as a devious act. The degrading of queer privacy is so real and I’m sick of seeing it put upon people from other queer people.

#not dogs #queer #lgbtq+#sometimes I like that we have an umbrella term like queer #but other times I really dislike that it visibly erases the LGBTQ+ aspect.#there is no one way to be queer #bi people in het appearing relationships are still queer #queer is not a vibe or an outfit or a costume #it is just people.#you are not owed insight into everybody’s personal journeys with #sexuality and gender #that is all

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esf-art-and-design · 3 months

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Comprehensive list of Queer Pop Artists (wether through themes in songs or through confirmed ID) you could be supporting instead of throwing a fit over the fact that Swift is not gay and would really like if y’all stopped speculating (because it’s wrong to boil someone down to who they bone, and dangerous and harmful to out someone, thought we knew this as the queer community, but I digress)

List was created by a now deleted account on Reddit, so I can’t credit the exact person who created it

A Comprehensive List of LGBTQ+ Pop Music Act’s

additional reference: /u/[**frogaranaman**](https://www.reddit.com/user/frogaranaman/)**'s list divided by identity:** [**https://www.reddit.com/r/popheads/comments/c3rpga/happy\_pride\_in\_honor\_of\_the\_month\_here\_is\_a\_list/**](https://www.reddit.com/r/popheads/comments/c3rpga/happy_pride_in_honor_of_the_month_here_is_a_list/)

^(i divided by genre, so some people appear on multiple lists. I am not a musicologist; please do not ask me why i categorized an artist in one genre, but not the other. if the grammys never even get it right, how can i?)

**methodology**: i included artists who give a clear answer being a part of the community, have had it verified being queer and/or queerness some tangible way, have passed, and/or discuss queer themes in the first person in a moderate or significant part of their body of work. ^(i did not include comedy artists, so you will not see too many camp acts or drag queens here.)

**key**:

* *\** = person and/or representation of color, mostly black

* *(+)* = noticeably problematic

* *(#)* \- uses queer themes or narrators often, but not verified

if I missed someone, or misidentified someone, post a response with their name and genre. i will edit & include them.

# adult contemporary

* ben abraham *\**

* jennifer knapp

* will young

* sam smith

* billy porter *\**

* michaela jai *\**

# alternative folk & country

* orville peck

* adeem the artist

* tj osborne / brothers osbourne

* angel olson

* joy oladokun *\**

* sufjan stevens (#)

* evil *\**

* kd lang

* izzy heltai

* trixie mattel

* steve grand

* adrianne lenker (of big thief)

# alternative hip-hop & rap

* taylor bennett *\**

* snow tha product *\**

* zebra katz *\**

* shygirl *\**

* rob.b *\**

* tiger goods *\**

* naeem ***(formerly spank rock)*** *\**

* mykki blanco *\**

* princess nokia *\**

* mahawam *\**

* heems *\**

* saul williams *\**

* kalifa ***(formerly le1f)*** *\**

* omar apollo *\**

* keanan *(drill) \**

* drebae *\**

* cuee *\**

* junglepussy *\**

* angel haze *\**

* mista strange *(drill) \**

* the last artful, dogdr *\**

* dizzy fae *\**

* kelechi\*\*\*

* ilovemakonnen *\**

* kamaiyah *\**

* kidd kenn *(drill) \**

* leikeli47 *\**

* isaiah rashad *\**

* dai burger *\**

* azealia banks ***(+)*** *\**

* chicka *\**

* jaboukie *\**

* dapper dan midas *\**

* baby tate *\**

* kevin abstract / brockhampton *\**

* cakes da killa *\**

* iamjakehill / ur pretty

* cazwell

* lil lotus

* lil aaron

# alternative pop

* purple crush

* aurora

* st. vincent

* black dresses

* anohni

* maggie lindemann

* scott matthew

* oscar and the wolf

* steve lacy *\**

* dreamer isioma *\**

* vaultboy

* coco & clair clair *\**

* shamir *\**

* empress of *\**

* cat burns *\**

* kučka

* king mala

* lava la rue *\**

* devonte hynes / blood orange *\**

* jessica 6 *\**

* naeem ***(formerly spank rock)****\**

* adore delano / danny noriega *\**

* orion sun *\**

* dizzy fae *\**

* pvris

* japanese breakfast *\**

* dorian electra

* yeule

* kevin abstract / brockhampton *\**

* christine & the queens

* davy boi *\**

* declan mckenna

* yungblud

* jazmin bean

# alternative r&b

* durand bernarr *\**

* keiynan lonsdale\*

* frank ocean *\**

* noah davis

* serpentwithfeet \*

* joy oladokun *\**

* isaac dunbar *\**

* kwaye *\**

* steve lacy *\**

* kelechi *\**

* ray laurel *\**

* mac ayres

* orion sun *\**

* kyle dion *\**

* janelle monae *\**

* kelela *\**

* jeremy pope *\**

* syd / the internet *\**

* jamila woods *\**

* kehlani *\**

* mahawam *\**

* 070 shake *\**

* davy boi *\**

* destin conrad *\**

* michelle (band) *\**

* cat burns *\**

* coco & breezy *\**

* arlo parks *\**

* devonte hynes / blood orange *\**

* bartees strange *\**

* brayton bowman *\**

* bronze avery *\**

* cain culto ***(formerly ecclesia)*** *\**

* olivia o'brien

# SPOTLIGHT: arab, persian, & desi / south-asian artists

* the muslims *\**

* hamed sinno / mashrou’ leila *\**

* wafia *\**

* remi wolf *\**

* rostam / vampire weekend \*

* heems \*

* freddy mercury / queen *\**

* leo kalyan *\**

* lil darkie ***(+)*** *\**

* dounia *\**

* dua saleh *\**

* raveena *\**

* mavi phoenix *\**

* ray laurel\*

# black & urban contemporary gospel

* kevin terry \*

* mo heart \*

* resistance revival chorus \*

* james cleveland \*

* sister rosetta tharpe \*

* tonex / b.slade \*

* donnie mcclurkin \*

# blues / jazz / spoken word

* billy wright \*

* bessie smith \*

* frankie "half pint" jaxon \*

* big mama thorton \*

* johnny mathis \*

* ethel waters \*

* billie holiday \*

* little richard \*

* ma rainey \*

* billy strayhorn \*

* langston hughes\*

# camp

* iamjakehill / ur pretty

* jaboukie \*

* qaadir howard \*

# contemporary r&b

* whitney houston \*

* monifah \*

* iman jordan\*

* 070 shake\*

* bree runway\*

* coco & breezy\*

* dreamer isioma\*

# christian & worship

* william matthews\*

* semler

* ecclesia ***(now known as cain culto) \****

* sufjan stevens **(#)**

* jennifer knapp

* vicky beeching

* dion davis\*

* joy oladokun\*

* ethel cain

* julien baker

* dan haseltine / jars of clay

* ray boltz

# djs / producers

* kaytranda \*

* amorphous \*

* sophie

* mnek \*

* mike q \*

# electronic / disco / industrial

* woodkid

* robert alfons / tr/st

* bright light bright lights

* k flay

* beth ditto

* midnight pool party \*

* sylvester \*

* eartheater

* christine & the queens

* zee machine

* yves tumor \*

* passion pit

* the sound of arrows

* peaches

* fever ray / the knife

* hercules and love affair

* jessica 6 \*

* kele okereke / bloc party\*

* shura

* madison rose\*

* michael medrano

* shamir \*

* shygirl \*

# house / ballroom house

* little louie vega / masters at work\*

* azealia banks ***(+)*** \*

* tt the artist\*

* cake da killa\*

* kevin jz prodigy\*

* purple crush

* miss jay\*

* kevin aviance \*

* rupaul \*

# hyper / power pop

* 100 gecs

* that kid \*

* dorian electra

* mika \*

# indie & progressive pop

* mickey darling (#)

* fhat \*

* cub sport

* moses sumney \*

* kele okereke / bloc party\*

* minute taker

* morgxn

* shamir \*

* muna (\*)

* tawnted

* the aces

* rostam / vampire weekend \*

* this japanese house

* tinashe \*

* angel olson

* mothica

* peter thomas

* japanese breakfast \*

* lava la rue \*

* royal & the serpent

* michelle (band) \*

* semler

* pale waves

* perfume genius

* gabriel garzon montano \*

* declan mckenna

* the sound of arrows

* fever ray / the knife

* kali

* lava la rue

* girl in red

* bartees strange \*

* jake shears / scissor sisters

* ethel cain

* devonte hynes / blood orange \*

* purple crush

* tegan & sara

* oliver sim / the xx

* ssion

# indie rock

* kele okereke / bloc party \*

* cosmo jarvis ***(#)***

* oliver sim / the xx

* car seat headrest

* big thief

* now, now

* lucy dacus / boygenius

* rostam / vampire weekend \*

* boyish

* julien baker

* black belt eagle scout \*

* ethel cain

* courtney barnett

* pale waves

* joe talbot / idles

* le tigre

* john grant / the czars

* lava la rue \*

# SPOTLIGHT: indigenous artists

* black belt eagle scout \*

* keiynan lonsdale\*

* trixie mattel \*

# k-pop

* mrshll\*

* holland\*

* lionesses\*

* jiae / wa$$up\*

* wonho\*

# SPOTLIGHT: latinidad & latine artists

* arca \*

* ricky martin\*

* villano antillano \*

* cain culto (formerly ecclesia) \*

* tokischa \*

* mad tsai \*

* snow tha product \*

* 070 shake \*

* anitta \*

* kali uchis \*

* blue rojo \*

* pablo vittar \*

* maria becerra\*

* kaytranda \*

* omar rudberg \*

* empress of \*

* michaela jai \*

* willie gomez \*

* jessica 6 *\**

* mabiland \*

* princess nokia \*

* omar apollo \*

* adore delano / danny noriega \*

* omar rudberg \*

* adriano cintra / css \*

* young m.a \*

* gabriel garzon montano \*

* pablo alborán

* bentley robles \*

Also adding in general (not pop necessarily)

Elton John

Queen/Freddie Mercury

Lzzy Hale/ Halestorm

Taylor Momsen/ The Pretty Reckless

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