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nightwolf14292 · 28 days

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I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.

Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"

Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."

*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*

Batman: ...

Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*

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mylifeingotham · 1 month

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batfamilycannons · 4 months

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Dick*the eldest daughter reaching a breaking point and it was this or manslaughter*: Due to my emotional trauma, I have decided I will be reverting back to my childhood Goblin lifestyle

Jason*always one for chaos*: Good for you

Bruce*traumatized from the first time not sure if he can survive a pt.2*: oh no

Tim*never left his Menace Lifestyle and is very exited to help cause more problems*: yay!

Bruce*even more scared*: oh no

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dc-and-damirae · 7 months

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dick: Hey tim, how was your stake out with jason? tim: jason and I got into a fight, so he tied me up to a chair for six hours and made me watch that one hotel tv channel that’s about the hotel. dick: tim: One day, the Seabury Ritz Hotel will burn to the ground and I will dance on its damn ashes.

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ev-arrested · 1 year

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You can tell the exact mental state of Dick Grayson based on the music he plays in the car

His entire family monitors his listening habits, and if it's anything but things from the list of genres and artists that Dick normally likes while provably mentally stable, they get concerned.

Tim, texting the group chat without Dick in it: Hey, guys, just needed to let y'all know that Dick picked me up today, and he put on an NF song in the car.

Barbara: Fuck, he's depressed.

Steph: Isn't he always?

Barbara: No, like--more than usual.

-

A week later.

Jason: Y'all, I'm with him rn and he's blasting S&M in the training room. One of you bitches--and I will find out who--triggered some body image issues, and now he's sexualizing himself to cope.

Tim: Did one of you guys call him ugly or smth???

Steph: I would never. I'm not a mean person, unlike you guys.

Damian: Why did you immediately assume it was one of us?

Jason: Because y'all are terrible people.

Tim: I'm not taking this from a literal gang leader.

Jason: But I admit, that is a bit of a jump on my part. It could've been any of Dick's trash friends that he, for some reason, keeps around, so that's on me.

Cass: Monitor him so he doesn't do anything drastic.

Barbara: Let me know if he starts compulsively thinking about becoming a stripper.

Jason: If that happens, there's no saving him.

-

After Dick returns from Spyral.

Duke: Now this just might be me, but I don't think I ever pegged Dick as a metalhead before he went off to work for Spyral.

Tim: Dear god.

Tim: Don't tell me he's listening to SOAD.

Duke: What even is that.

Jason: System of a Down

Duke: Oh, yeah, it's that.

Tim: NOOOOOOO

Duke: What does that mean???

Barbara: He's self-destructive.

Steph: Isn't he normally?

Barbara: No, like--I mean yes, but more explosively.

Jason: His main goal is to blow up...

Barbara: Don't.

Steph: aND THEN ACT LIKE HE DON'T KNOW NOBODY

Jason: HAH HAH HAH HAH

Barbara: This is serious.

-

Steph: He's listening to vocaloid. That's....so odd??? @Damian did you have anything to do with this?

Tim: oh my god

Damian: The answer to this question is of high importance: what song is it?

Steph: Do you think I can speak Japanese??

Damian: Ask.

Steph: omg fine.

Steph: He says it's "Assassin Princess" by Mitchie M.

Tim: Hold on lemme listen to this shit

Damian: It's a good song.

Jason: Okay, but what does that tell us?

Damian: It's not a song I ever played for him.

Jason: So you're telling me he's listening to vocaloid independent of you?

Damian: It would appear so.

Jason: Oh, that's bad.

Tim: The song's about a spy and her partner murdering her ex-boyfriend who betrayed her.

Steph: He's feeling vengeful.

Jason: Oh, that's really bad.

-

Cass: He's playing One Direction.

Barbara: Honestly?? Chances are, he's fine.

Duke: Agreed. He's playing "What Makes You Beautiful", so I doubt it's anything.

Duke: Now if he starts playing shit from their solo careers, we have a problem.

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 24 days

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I love how most of the batkids are fluent in multiple languages.

Think about all the fun.

Them talking five different languages in two sentences and everybody understanding it without problem.

Calling each other insults in a language they know the other person doesn't speak.

They have a conversation in a language that has informal and formal 'you' and they are addressing each other with the formal 'you' because they know it annoys the other person

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superbat-love · 2 months

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Damian: Bruce Jr. Wayne.

Jon: No, he should be called Clark Jr. Kent.

Tim: Forseti. God of justice, peace and reconciliation.

Jason: Peace? Not if he’s going to be living in this house.

Dick: What about Justice Kent-Wayne?

Jon: I like it!

Damian: Vengeance Wayne-Kent.

Kon: Brark Waykent.

Tim: Eww.

Jason: Superbat.

Dick: That sounds more like a superhero name.

Kon: Cluce Kentayne.

Tim: Go away Conner.

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bat-stuff · 9 months

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Journalist talking to Bruce at a Gala:

Journalist: And your son, Richard, he seems like a sweet boy.

Bruce, sweating: yes hes a very well behaved kid

Meanwhile:

Dick, hanging from the chandelier: if I time it just right, I can drop this cheese slice on that man's head

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huntressundone · 10 months

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Dick, in the manor's library, bored out of his mind and looking for any form of amusement:

"Hey Jason, what would your stripper name be?"

Jason, who would like to read in peace One Time™: "✨️Dick Grayson✨️"

#batfam #jason todd #dc comics #red hood #batfam shenanigans #dick grayson #incorrect batfamily quotes #nightwing

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pinkiemachine · 10 months

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?Babysitting? Adventures with Jason and Damian… and Bruce… and Dick… part 6

#dc #dc comics #fan art #fan comic #batman #Bruce wayne #Jason todd #red hood #Damian wayne #robin #dick grayson #Nightwing #Batfam #bat family #bat brothers #bat boys #shenanigans

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vodrae · 3 months

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Bruce: Alfred, where are the kids ? It's awfully quiet.

Alfred: They are praticing "bonding time" sir.

Noises on the roof

"THIS IS DICK GRAYSON AND WELCOME TO JACKASS"

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nightwolf14292 · 2 months

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Bruce acts so emo all the time that I just can't help but enjoy the idea(/headcanon, I guess) of him secretly just being an old man dad- Like all of the villains go 'Omg it's Batman we're gonna get beat up' and Commissioner Gordon randomly thinks to himself while working late 'I bet Batman is doing super smart stuff like looking at case files or serving justice rn' but it turns out Bruce is just in the Batcave, very seriously talking to the Bat-Computer about the definition of slang like "Okay 'Puter, define 'Yeet' for me.."

Or he's up at 3AM scrolling through Tim's Tumblr blog looking for ways to connect with his child, but instead becomes mildly concerned when he sees Tim posted a pic five minutes ago of himself at Waffle House (He thought he was in his bedroom-?) with the caption 'Lmao just had a mental breakdown ✌'

Bruce: "So, Damian.. Have you 'rizzed up' any 'level ten gyatts' recently?"

Damian(Also doesn't know slang): "Father wtf"

Of course all of the Bat-Kids know this, and try to subtly introduce him to different memes because he always looks so proud of himself when he properly uses slang, he's like 'Heck yeah my kids are gonna think I'm cool'

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toriafiction · 4 months

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Dick walking to the family room in the manor when he hears Jason, Tim, and Damian arguing.

Then Jason's voice raises above the others: I'll put your head in a duffel bag!

Dick immediately nopes out and turns on his heel. He is not getting mixed up in that.

Then, like an hour later, Alfred sends him to collect them for dinner. Surly, the fight has to be long over by now, right?

No

Dick turns the corner into the family room to see Jason holding a duffel bag over Tim's head and pulling it tight like he’s trying to suffocate him with it.

Jason completely serious: It’s for a good cause.

Damian nodding solemnly: You will thank us for this later.

Alfred did this to him on purpose. Dick is sure of it.

#dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #tim drake #red hood #nightwing #red robin #robin damian #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batfam shenanigans

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qcomicsy · 11 months

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Dick: You killed a man Jason.

Jason: He was a cop!

Dick: I'm a cop!

Jason: And you're still alive!– Haven't scratched you in five years for being a cop, just for being asshole.

Jason: So knowing that you can see that regardless ocasional oopsies, it means that I am In fact doing better.

Dick: No it doesn't.

Jason: Yes it do!

Dick: Nu-uh

Jason: Uh-huh–

Dick: Nu–

Damian in the background, having to witness that bullshit: Wonder if I become a cop he will just take me out of my misery and fucking kill me.

Duke, next to him: I'll do it. Tim will do it for me when he eventually go super-villain, snap out and try to kill all of us.

Tim, right after him: Cool.

#batfam shenanigans #batfamily incorrect quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #batfamily #jason todd #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #damian wayne #robin #duke thomas #the signal #the signal dc #signal #signal dc #tim drake #red robin

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dc-and-damirae · 8 months

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rando at a gala: If you don't mind me asking, what ever happened to your brother? dick: He died rando: Oh... I'm so sorry dick: Don't worry, he’s okay now rando: …Can you please clarify? dick: No

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brokenstar28 · 4 months

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*Tim and Damian fighting*

Jason: Who do you think is going to win?

Dick: Damian.

Jason: Really? I think Tim.

Dick: Well, actually-wait... No.

Dick: I think you will win.

*Tim and Damian stop fighting*

Jason: Oh Sh-

*Tim and Damian attack Jason*

#if you have sibling then you get this #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #batfam shenanigans #batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily

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