#neglect is a horrible form of abuse

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

Young Cecil doing his homework with no help and walking past his mom’s half-open door hoping she doesn’t hear him sneaking out and doodling things like “CGP + EH” in his notebook (crossed out) and turning in permission slips at school that the teachers reject because they’re all signed by his big sister and feeling a shiver down his spine whenever he sees a too-tall tree and stealing makeup from drug stores but popping out the mirrors first and falling asleep to the radio and stacking cassette tapes next to his mattress because he never got a frame for his bed and leaving out bowls of water for stray cats and chasing the mice out of his room and learning Torah verses even though he knows no one other than Abby will come to his Bar Mitzvah and crying himself to sleep at night but making up stories in the morning about the citizens he’s seen around town and bumping into Josie at the supermarket where she offers to drive him to the bowling alley and bringing his mom mother’s day flowers even though he’ll be the one who puts them in water, plucks away the dead leaves, throws them away while she watches with blank eyes and when he stares at the loud sunrise he feels an ache in his chest he can’t explain yet and hating that Abby can get a summer job but he’s not old enough yet, it’s starting to feel like decades have passed and he’s still not old enough, and failing his practice SATs because he had to teach himself all those big words and dying in front of a broken mirror and looking at a mirror with broken shards that’s still intact and being a beautiful person in spite of everything and dragging his boy scout recorder into a blanket fort to record cassette tapes about how one day things will be better, one day things will be better, one day things will be better. 

#young cecil #cecil gershwin palmer #neglect is a horrible form of abuse #im so sorry to anyone who like cecil went through that #tw childhood neglect #tw childhood trauma #cecil's trauma isn't explored much in the show but it feels so present sometimes #young cecil is dead long live young cecil #wtnv

[thelikesoffinn]

„Astarion ending as the Vampire Ascendant is the correct ending for him, because it is what he wants.”

That is a claim I’ve been seeing pop up more and more often these days. And I think it’s both a very bold and a very odd claim to make.

But first things first: Hello, I’m a licensed social worker! So far, I’ve worked with children, refugees and youths with behavioural issues stemming from bullying and or abuse.

Please be aware that I will be mentioning different kinds of abuse, coping mechanisms, and victim/abuser relationships. If any of this is difficult for you, don’t force yourself through it. My jabbering about a traumatised vampire is not worth your wellbeing, not ever.

I will, however try to stick to Astarion and not use other examples. If, in any case, I do use a non-Astarion example, I’ll add a warning beforehand so that you can skip the part. And I’ll make it clear what will be discussed in the next bit, so that you have a chance to skip it entirely.

This is an effort to make this as accessible as possible for everyone that wants to indulge on a mad woman’s rambling – and I know there’s a few people that like this sort of stuff!

And, uh, there's obviously spoilers for all three acts. Serious spoilers, even.

Before I can get into the whole ‘why Astarion didn’t really want to ascend,’ we need to understand him a little more. And to understand this pretty boy’s brain, we first need to understand the gist of what we’re talking about when we throw around the word ‘abuse.’

“Abuse” is when someone is treated with cruelty, violence, or neglect – often to bad effect – on a regular basis. Repetitively. Check’s out for Astarion, I’d say, but we all knew that already. I mean, if one thing was obvious, it was this.

1. Astarions Abuse

Next we need to look at what kind of abuse Astarion faced over his long years of torment, seeing as different types of abuse will have different effects on the victim.

Not that that is anything we have to worry about with him – Astarion won the abuse lottery, to put it bluntly. In a horrible game of fate, he got everything. He himself indirectly mentions all the types of abuse he faced, albeit never using the correct terms.

The first we properly notice – fitting, seeing as it is often the most obvious form of abuse – is the physical abuse. Astarions scars are probably the biggest tell Larian could shove down our throats, only underlined by Astarion’s tale about the night itself. About how Cazador ‘misspelled something’ every time he flinched or screamed and had to do ‘many corrections. On top of this, Cazador locked Astarion up for months on end and tortured him – or had him tortured – on a regular basis both as a rite and as a punishment.

Next up, we have the fact that Astarion was forced to basically prostitute himself repeatedly. This is what we call sexual exploitation.

“I spent two hundred years using my body to lure pretty things back for my Master.” – Act 2

Two hundred years is a long time, filled with great many people. Now, we don’t know how many of those people actually tapped into the sexual exploitation and how many he could just lure back with other means, but the fact that it happened a lot is undeniable.

Next we have a form of abuse that we often disregard in adults: Neglect. It sounds odd, I know, saying that a fully grown adult was neglected. They can care for themselves, can they not?

Well. Yes and no.

Adult neglect is proceeded by the condition that one adult has to lean on another adult to fulfil their needs for whatever reason. This could be anything, from disability to income-based issues.  

Seeing as Astarion had absolutely nothing, while Cazador had everything, we can assume this was the case. Cazador had the house, the money, the power. Astarion owns but one pair of clothes, assumedly, that he has fixes over and over again. Fair to say, that’s pretty neglectful. (And it’s one more reason to shower the guy in pretty armour and camp clothes. Go ham, people.)

Last we have the form of abuse we actually get to witness later in the game – emotional abuse.

Once again, it’s undeniable that this happened. Especially since we’re all seeing it in the flesh upon meeting Cazador in his crypt.

“Have you no respect for yourself?”

“I strove for perfection in all things. Even those as imperfect as you.”

“A pity you amounted to so little, despite my efforts.”

“A pathetic little boy who never amounted to anything.”

All Act 3, Crypt

Here we have just a few examples of things Cazador throws in his face. It’s like reading a textbook on emotional abuse, this one (and it’s definitely a reason to throw hands).

Blaming the victim, keeping their sense of self and their self-worth as tiny as possible to make them cower and flee. A true classic.

This pretty much shows that Astarion suffered all forms of abuse we commonly see and it is implied – once again by Astarion himself – that at least a few of those instances were ritualistic.

Now, what does that mean exactly? Well, I fear I need to use a real example here, so please skip the next paragraph.

Ritualistic doesn’t refer to a proper ritual – it can, but that’s mostly a thing for those in a cult. So, we’re not necessarily talking about a ‘Vampire Ascendent Ritual’. A husband, beating his wife every evening after his third bottle of beer is also called ritual abuse. It happens regularly. It is part of a routine. Both parties know what will happen.

I can’t find the exact quote, so I’m working of my memory here, but at one point he said that when Cazador invited him to eat and he said yes, he would be served a putrid rat. If he said no, he’d be beaten.

The way it was phrased made it clear that it happened more than once and that Astarion clearly knew what would happen. So, this can be classified as ritualistic abuse.

2. A Note on Conditioning and Compliance

By default, abuse victims are conditioned to behave a certain way or in a certain fashion. This is a natural response to avoid further abuse.

In Astarion, the thing we see most often is his inherent need to please. Not literally, he doesn’t mind being an arsehole. But he initially feels the need to follow Tav’s orders, even if they go against his own wishes.

This can be clearly seen in the conversation with Araj Oblodra. Astarion very clearly doesn’t want to bite her. He doesn’t. But he will do so, if Tav tells him to. This behaviour is not conscious – he doesn’t know why he does it, he just does – and it is to be expected. This is how he kept himself save for two centuries, so of course he will fall back into his usual pattern when the pressure is high.

This goes hand in hand with the fact that most abuse victims don’t fight. Maybe initially, but not after long term abuse. Especially not after two fucking centuries.

This is true in Astarion – offered by his ‘siblings’ during act 3 and unhappily acquiesced by the man himself. Astarion stopped fighting and, once again implied, cowered, and did as he was told in order to survive.

3. The Astarion we know and love

Obviously, all that abuse does have an impact on our vampire boyfriend. He shows various common signs of abuse and just like with the forms of abuse, Astarion raked every coping mechanism he could find. (Not really, but it feels like it.) It’s also important to note that nearly all of the following things happen inwardly. Astarion is not one of the victims, that tries to rationalise and minimise the actions of his abuser. Quite the opposite, actually.

I’ll note from the beginning, that rationalisation will not be covered in this bit, as most examples will be important later on. But he definitely does it.

One of his biggest skills is to hide every ounce of fear or hurt behind sarcasm and snarky theatrics. He doesn’t seem to hide his anger much, though, so that’s something! Our boy is cool with anger, not so much with being afraid.

“Ahahaha, now that you mention it….I might have done…that.” – Act 3, regarding the Gur children

“The thing that will decide my fate forever more? Yeees, it’s been on my miiiind. Why?” – Act 2, regarding the Ritual

And there’s many more instances that prove this. Honestly, half his dialogue is sarcasm, so it would really be too long to get into and we all know what I mean, right? We have alltalked to the guy before. It’s obvious that he’s sarcastic to a fault.

This goes hand in hand with his penchant for defensiveness. I would personally state that he’s simply not really good with guilt. When talking about fear, he usually just opts for sarcasm or avoids the topic completely, but guilt especially has his defences going up. This is also when he’s most likely to shove all the blame off to Cazador.

“Don’t look at me like that. Cazadors orders.” – Act 3, Crypt

“I just did what I had to!” – Act 3, Crypt

And don’t get me wrong, he does that anyway. And with good reason. Astarion didn’t have a choice for the most part, but he’s still easy to shove things off.

This kind of connects to his penchant for denial.

Astarion doesn’t really like to talk about most things. He firmly believes he is an ‘action’ sort of person that just does instead of plans, which invertedly just means he’s great at pushing the thinking stuff away. He also likes to get rid of stuff, so that he doesn’t need to face it ever again.

“I never want to see these little scraps of misery again. The world doesn’t need to know my shame.” – Act 3, about the children

And yes, this partly rings true. He’s probably ashamed and doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s done. But it’s also very clear that he himself simply doesn’t want to face his own actions, something that is just  underlined by his extreme willingness to red rid of the other spawn.

As mentioned by Astarion himself, he’s big on manipulation. I mean, I don’t think there is much explaining necessary. The guy is willing to do a whole lot in order to get what he desires – which mostly revolves around safety and survival, to be honest – and he’s not really shy about it either. And that’s despite the fact that he doesn’t really like intimacy – especially in form of sex.

It’s not a secret that Astarion is not big on sex and anything surrounding it. This goes far enough for people to consider him either ace or ace coded.

A claim that, personally, I’m not super in line with.

Now, it’s not entirely wrong and if this is your head cannon I’m surely not going to stand in your way – but on a larger spectrum, I think he’s more traumatised than ace. And while those go hand in hand sometimes, it’s a bit difficult for the ace community if you attach traumatised characters to them because it can fuel a whole lot of stigma that is honestly neither needed nor wanted. But I digress!

If it comes to his own behaviour, he’s great at minimising his mistakes. Honestly, he’s a master of minimisation. A very obvious and famous example would be:

“’Killed’ feels like a…strong word. Not many corpses have your vigour.” – Act 1, after killing Tav

Astarion. You literally sucked poor Tav dry and left them flopping around, cold, and dead. Killed is exactly the right word and we all know it.

“Quite the deviation from my usual routine. Capture, not lure. I didn’t bring them in with sweet rolls or anything.” – Act 3, Gur Children

This is another attempt at minimising what he did, if a bit less obvious because at this point there isn’t much he can say. But at least he didn’t sexualise the gur children, right? They’re still spawn but whoo, at least that didn’t happen.  

The next point would be dissociation, which is extremely common in abuse victims – of all forms of abuse.

Astarion himself mentioned certain moments that could be classified as dissociation over course of the story, which is probably the coping mechanism I personally expected the most.

The pale elf has a penchant for violence, but he’s not entirely shameless or abhorrently vile, which gets clearer the more the story progresses. So, two hundred years of forced prostitution, torture and doing whatever other horrible things? Yeah, I’d be more surprised if he didn’t dissociate.

Examples of that would be:

“A moment of disgust to push myself through and then I could’ve carried on, just like before.” – Act 2, after Araj

“I felt nothing the moment I handed them over.” – Act 3, Gur Children

“Did you enjoy it? It felt like you weren’t fully there.” – Act 1, Tav after Sex

The latter is generally more of an assumption than actual prove, but with context it does make sense.

The last common sign of abuse we find in our boyfriend would be his low self-worth. It’s a consistent trait that stays over the course of all three acts, noticeable in many different conversations.

We can see it in his reaction to wanting to break up before finishing his story. We can see it in his genuine surprise when Tav picks him over any of the other characters. We see it in his insecurity whenever Tav asks to sleep with another character. He’s fine with it, but he still worries their decision to sleep with someone else is based on something he did.

It eases up ever so slightly after Cazador is dead, but even then he’s still struggling which is once again perfectly illustrated if you try to break up with him.

“Oh shit. I- Did I do something wrong?”

That is the first thing he asks and I think it speaks for itself. He genuinely doesn’t believe he has much to offer and for Astarion, it’s likely that Astarion will always be the problem.

4. "Oh, I tried them all none of them answered.”

Another big thing that’s important to note, is that Astarion was never saved. No one came to save him from Cazador. There was no darling boy on a white steed riding into that castle to rescue him and princess carry him away. Not even the gods answered his desperate calls.

So, he never received any kindness or luck. To him, the world seems as cruel and horrid as before because he didn’t have the chance to experience goodness in two centuries.

But worse than that, he didn’t even get to save himself. Astarion didn’t stand up to Cazador, he didn’t run out of his own might.

He was beaten to near death and ‘saved’ by Cazador, who would become his abuser.

He tried to save someone and, in turn, was locked up and starved for an entire year.

He was abducted by mind flayers, i.e., saved from Cazador, only to end up tadpoled and on the cusp of getting a fancy, squiddy beard.

Anything that’s good, any kindness, any selfless action…it all came with a ginormous price tag.

5. Over the Course of the Story

Astarions behaviour changes a whole lot over the course of three acts – which is important once we talk about his quests climax – so let’s review what we’re working with!

Act 1 Astarion is guarded as fuck. The man has walls around him that are so high, even the gods can touch them.

A lot of his behaviour in act 1 revolves around staying save and staying liked. He lies, manipulates, and flutters his lashes in order to get what he wants and needs. Instead of asking, like Wyll, Karlach and Gale do, Astarion uses all he has to offer to get by. He is still very much in survival mode and tries to weasel his way through an unfamiliar situation with familiar methods.

On top of that, and most notably, he’s absolutely not fond of kindness or selflessness.

#I saved a child and now my boyfriend is mad

Here, we are most likely to gain disapproval for doing the decent thing – unless you sent him outside for a minute whenever you’re being a good person.

And I’d assume that this is because of two things.

First: The very traditional ‘Why not me?’

As I mentioned before, Astarion wasn’t saved. He hasn’t experienced kindness in a very long time so seeing that the world is literally filled with kind people is hurtful. Why didn’t anyone save him? Why was he left to his own devices for so long? Why should he care about others when it’s so clear that no one ever cared about him? No, dead to all of them. If he didn’t get it, neither will they.

“And what am I owed? What about the injustices I suffered? Am I not entitled to anything?” – Act 3, Crypt

“I was in the prime of my life when I was turned. Everything was taken from me too.” – Act 3, Crypt

And secondly is the fact that, as I mentioned, goodness always has a price. And it’s one most people won’t be willing to pay. That’s how his life has been, so why would theirs be different?

This is precisely why Astarion may disapprove of kind actions, but he mostly neither approves nor disapproves if Tav asks for payment. That’s just how the world works.

Once you venture out into act 2, after getting to know him a whole lot more, he starts to mellow a bit – if only towards Tav.

“He’s afraid, so afraid, of everyone but you, who she should fear the most.” – Sceleritas about Astarion

His approval is a lot easier to gain – or at least keep! – and he tends to approve of some more proper actions. He doesn’t throw a fit if you promise to find Mol, he approves of Tav being kind to His Majesty, of saving Aylin and he even approves of Durge apologising to Isobel after threatening to rip her to pieces.

He's slowly starting to open up, allowing Tav to see some parts of him he previously kept hidden. He accepts their offer to help, if hesitantly and, by god, the man starts experimenting with boundaries.

The social worker in me is shedding tears at this. It’s my favourite thing to see in my clients and it’s no different here. Yay to saying no!

Of course, it’s still a bit hit or miss. If Tav urges him to bite Araj, for example, he will only to later notice that he didn’t fucking have to. He recognises this on his own and he calls Tav out on it. Just like he calls them out on not helping him with his Orthon quest.

Good job, chap. Good fucking job.

And the growth-train won’t stop going even as we reach act 3.

In act 3, there’s not many things he disapproves as of right now – those he does, mostly have to do with how Tav treats him and not with anyone else. In fact, he’s more likely to approve good behaviour now, like giving Yenna food or money.

And yes, we need to consider that this could simply be because he gets used to Tav’s behaviour and just learns to roll with it. But it’s also highly likely that he notices that there’s truly good people around. At least one person. And that person is not only good, no, they’re in the process of helping him break free once and for all.

They’re helping him save himself.

By act 3, he has learned that he can absolutely say his piece where Tav is concerned and he’s more likely to disagree with them on certain things. It’s seen during a lot of small dialogue that he’s no longer terribly afraid to be honest with them, willing to listen and talk and he’ll ask for help if he needs it.

“I can do this. But I need your help.” – Act 3, Crypt

Something that can be viewed both positively and negatively is that he’s definitely loyal to a fault. He will stick by Tav’s side, no matter what.

“I really hoped we could avoid being pawns for a dark god, but here we are, I suppose. I’m with you, my dear, wherever this might lead.” – Act 3, After Jaheira confronts durge

As I said, this can be both positive and negative. On one count, it’s a recipe for disaster, seeing as he could be waltzing into a really bad situation for Tav alone.

But on the other side…this is a man who only cared about himself because that is the only person he could afford to care about. He needed to survive. He now has enough room to breathe and the capacity to care for someone else and I’d be inclined to count that as a good thing.

6. The Crypt

All the progress he made in act 2 and 3 is nearly tossed into the wind as soon as the crew enters Cazadors castle.

It’s not an immediate thing, of course.

At first, Astarion tries to stay light and simple and he hides behind flippant tones and relaxed faces. The way he recounts this is almost comically disinterested and the façade is actually quite good.

It’s start’s cracking after we meet Godie, one of the people who tortured him on more than one account, but he mostly manages to remain as upbeat as one can honestly expect for the first half of the journey.

All that, however, is done for the very moment we meet Sebastian. His mask not only slips, no, it full on shatters and there’s none of his apparent lightness left.

Which, of course it does.

The man is suddenly faced with years and years and years of victims. Innocent, unlucky people he lured back to his master over two centuries. People he liked, people he pitied.

“It’s sickening, seeing them again.”

It’s basically a room filled with guilt, exclusively for Astarion. And, as we mentioned before…Astarion is not great with guilt.

The guilt, however, is not where it ends.

No, he’s also faced with reflections of his own past. The spawn pose as reminders of what he did, sure, but also as reminders of what he was.

Weak, desperate, hungry.

There’s an abundance of images of his worst moments, reflected back at him in the thousands. It’s probably like staring into a funhouse mirror, but instead of seeing yourself in a funky way he just sees everything he so desperately doesn’t want to be.

“It should be [who I am]! I don’t want to be like them. They’re pathetic, horrible…”

He’s forcefully made aware of how darn weak he can be, which claws at all the wounds he’s barely had time to close. Something, he of course won’t admit if asked.

“THEY DO NOT [remind me of myself]. That weakness in me is dead, IT’S DEAD. I have a higher purpose.”

The high pressure of the moment brings out all of his act 1 traits in but a few moments. You can pretty much watch how he starts to shut down mid conversation, one of his old walls snapping back into place to remove himself from the situation.

Thing is though, walls usually become a bit brittle after disuse. Especially when talking to a person you don’t usually want to wall out.

Or, in his case, when talking to Tav.

After meeting Sebastian, Astarion shows extreme reactions to Tav nudging any of his weak spots. His reaction varies on whatever choice you make, but it ranges from aggression to defensiveness, to denial and even to downright begging Tav.

“Don’t hate me. I just did what I had to. I swear I did what I had to.”

This probably the most shocking out of all of them, since that is not something we got to witness before. The begging is likely a mixture of intense fear of losing Tav, his low self-esteem and pre-Tav behaviour, since we can assume that Cazador made him beg more than once.

Another old coat he puts back on would also be the least surprising of them all.

Manipulation.

He falls right back into it, using Tav’s affection to get what he want if we trigger the right action.

“If they die and I ascend, I won't have to rely on the parasite to walk in the sun. I'll be free. Truly completely free. Isn't that what you want?”

This, to me, was probably the biggest tell that Astarion was back in survival mode. He’s panicking, for fucks sake, and who can blame the guy? He’s back. He’s about to face down his abuser.

Of course he’s fucking panicking.

Panic leads to an increased craving for safety and, in his case, power. This is why he clings to Tav, why he begs them to love him still. And this is why he jumps head first into the rationalisation pool.

“I will need to sacrifice them all if I want to perform the ritual. - [You can save them.] – What’s the point? They're as good as dead! I thought they were dead. If they are unleashed, they will cause incredible carnage. […] They must die. Better they serve a purpose.”

Another textbook example.

They must die anyway. They’re basically dead. No need to save them now. They’re dangerous, I’m doing the right thing by sacrificing them. I already thought they were dead, so it’s not changing anything for me. They’re a lost cause and I deserve  all this power. I deserve it, because I suffered and nothing will change if they die.

So, seeing as we already spoke about his usual behaviour in act 3 – behaviour he showed after we allowed him to breathe and be himself for a while – I think we can fairly easily conclude he’s not thinking straight.

Astarion is right back in survival mode, where all that matters is he himself. If it weren’t for the seven thousand spawns, he might have moved through this more gracefully, but seeing those tipped the scales and Astarion is absolutely losing it.

Remember that for the last section, per favore.

7. The Ascension

“Astarion wants to ascend and Tav manipulates him into doing what they want.”

That is basically the essence of what people often claim and I can’t help but shake my head at such a blatant disregard of everything he has become. This is completely ignoring the change and growth he has gone through over the course of their journey.

Astarion wants to be free. He wants to be safe. That does not mean he wants to ascend.

And the claim that Tav manipulates him into doing anything is even more baffling. We are all aware that Tav is not manipulative by nature, yes? That is entirely on you. You decide who your Tav is.

And then let’s remember: Astarion is panicked. He’s afraid and he’s not thinking straight. His abuser is on his knees before him and he still feels so weak. And there’s seven thousand spawns that need handling.

Astarion is very much not okay right now.

In fact, reading his thoughts just proves this theory.

“You can see the fear in his eyes but also the hunger. The thick smell of blood in the air and the promise of power being so close is intoxicating to him. All he can see is the power of the ritual and the freedom that power brings. The freedom to do anything. To be anything.”

Tav, however, has none of those problems. They can actually see beyond the current situation and they are fully aware what the consequences are. Astarion is not. As we previously established, Astarion is a doer. Not a thinker. He didn’t think this through, not at all.

The only thing Tav is doing – the persuasion roll – is reminding him of the very real consequences he is facing. The consequences he hasn’t thought about before.

"I know you think this will set you free, but it won't. This power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador."

And that is the kindest thing Tav could do in this situation. They’re not bodily dragging him away from Cazador. They’re not even telling him to not do it. They’re just offering him the truth. He can do with that information whatever he desires.

“Astarion cries when he doesn’t ascend, that just shows that it was the wrong choice.”

A hare-brained point that I thankfully have only seen once so far.

That crying? That is healthy crying.

That is him, crumbling under the stress that suddenly dissipates. That is him mourning two hundred years of torment. That’s him letting out feelings he hasn’t been able to for centuries.

And, for the love of god, try to put yourself in his shoes.

Two hundred years of torment, ended in but a moment.

Astarion was abused and tortured for so long, afraid for so long only to see his tormentor die just like that.

Cazador died within a moment and all Astarion needed was a darn blade. Of course he fucking cries.

Seeing how pathetic a being the very core of your life’s misery actually is hurts. It hurts like hell because not only are you finally free – free! – no, you’re faced with the fact that this pile of nothing, the thing that’s bleeding out right in front of you…this was what tortured for so long.

This thing hurt you so much. That guy took everything from you, everything you once were, and broke it again and again and again over years.

You were so scared of this thing.

And yet he has the gall and the gumption to die just like that.

It was so easy.

And yet you suffered for so long.

8. Evil Playthrough?

An evil playthrough is really a different setting altogether.

All of this, as you can probably tell, is really only applicable on a good playthrough. Realistically speaking. I’m not sure how the game mechanics handle it.

On an evil path, Astarion never really gets to experience kindness and goodness. Evil Tav will just prove him right in his believe that the world is a vile and cold place, meaning that he realistically would be more inclined to actually want to ascend.

9. Final Conclusion

I think all of this should be enough to make it clear that no, ascended Astarion is not the best ending for the guy. In fact, it is probably the worst. Because it’s just him, running away. He’s running into a lonely and cold state of being, where cruelty and power lord over everything else and he’s running because he’s terrified of being hurt again. He’s running despite desperately wanting to stop running.

“I'll spend the rest of my life running watching the shadows, never feeling safe…no, this has to happen. Here and now.”

And, the worst part is: Nothing about Astarion is left after he ascends. Even his tone of speaking gradually changes, his theatrics fading. He’s slowly losing himself, until there’s nothing but an evil caricature left.

So, in the end, ascension will have proven him right.

That version of him is dead.

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate #baldurs gate #bg3 #astarion #the dark urge #tav #astarion romance #astarion ancunin #astarion and tav #bg3 act 1 #bg3 act 2 #bg3 act 3 #act 3 #act 2 #act 1 #araj oblodra

[mrwavellswaps]

The Parental Solution

“Could you at least put on some shorts or pants if you’re just gonna lie around the house like that?” I asked my dad after walking in on him sprawled across the couch, wearing nothing but a pair of white briefs that did little to hide his large assets. Especially when he had his thick thighs spread like that

“Come on kiddo. It isn’t anything you haven’t seen before. Can’t a guy just lounge around on his day off.” He replied with that same subtle smirk he always had as he rested his head against his hand. I cursed myself internally for not being able to help glancing at his armpit for a moment. “Besides, I’m the man of this house and so if I wanna lie around in my underwear then I’ll do just that.” He added sternly before reaching down to give his fat bulge a rub.

I rolled my eyes a little before quickly exiting the room and letting him get back to watching sports on TV. After all, I didn't want to give him a chance to see the growing erection in my pants. I just can’t help it when he shows off his body like that. He knows exactly what he’s doing too. You see that man lying on the couch and showing off his manly form isn’t actually my dad. Not in spirit anyway. It’s actually my best friend Jason inside my dad’s body!

It all started when we were kids. Both me and Jason had pretty shit parents and it was part of the reason we bonded so much. We became each others support whenever we needed it. For me I lived most of my life with my dad after my mom walked out on us when I was very little. Ever since then my dad had been distant and bitter. He wasn’t abusive towards me or anything but he was certainly neglectful to say the least. Jason on the other had definitely got the worse end of the stick with parents that were borderline manipulative and even abusive towards him growing up. I remember telling him all through high school that the moment he turned 18 that he should just get the hell out of there. That day came over a year ago now. Jason turned 18 not long after me but even with the job he had, he still couldn’t afford to move out. Especially with his parents practically stealing half his wage. Before long the two of us were 19 going on 20 soon and Jason still couldn’t see a way of escaping his parents for years to come. That’s when I decided something had to be done.

For weeks the two of us had been brainstorming ideas to get Jason out of his parents house. We considered putting our wages together and renting a place to share but with how much prices had been going up recently, that didn’t seem like a sustainable option right now. Neither of us had other family members we could stay with either. We even considered going to a homeless shelter together but decided that’d probably do more harm than good in the end. After all my home life wasn’t nearly as bad as Jason’s but I wouldn’t wanna leave him alone. After a while we started to lose hope, believing that Jason would just have to put up with his horrible parents for the foreseeable future. That was until I stumbled across a curious shop that I’d somehow never noticed before…

———

Gilgamesh’s Magic Shop - For all your magical needs

The shop radiated a strange presence that I couldn’t help being drawn to. “Magical needs?” I raised an eyebrow as I read the large golden letters that adorned the sign that sat on the front of the building. My first thought was that it was one of those fake magic trick shops but it seemed pretty interesting and I didn’t exactly have anything else planned that day so I decided I might as well check it out.

Upon stepping inside I came face to face with a plethora of weird items and objects filling the many shelves around the shop. It all looked incredibly ornate with how well organised and decorated it was. Naturally I couldn’t help poking around a little, inspecting all sorts of books, potion bottles and crystals that all claimed to have magical properties.

“Ah, hello sir!” A man called from behind the front desk. I couldn’t help but jump a little as I could’ve sworn he hadn’t been standing there a second ago. He looked to be in his early 30’s or so but still looked amazing for his age. He had short hair that shimmered in the light with its golden blonde colour while his handsome face adorned a dusting of stubble. The clothes he wore looked rather unusual, almost like a mix between a wizard cloak and casual suit. “My name’s Gilgamesh but most people call me Gil. I’m the owner of this place so if there’s anything in particular you’re looking for then just ask.”

“Oh… um thanks.” I blushed a little at the stunning man’s proposal. “But I don’t think any of this fake magic stuff is gonna help me all that much.”

Gil laughed. “Please. The magic I sell is anything but fake. Here I’ll prove it.” I watched as he walked around the front desk and grabbed a potion bottle off a nearby shelf. Without any hesitation he popped the top off and downed the potion in one go. What I saw changed my view on magic forever. There was a moment of silence as Gil smirked over at me. Then without warning he lurched over and groaned. I could only watch on in astonishment as his once ordinary sized frame began expanding at a rapid rate. Seeing as his clothes grew tighter while his body packed on excessive amounts of fat and muscle. His entire body growing thicker and stronger! It was hard to tell at first but as his clothes started to rip I began to see how he was growing hairier as well! Even his light stubble from before poofed out into a large blonde beard! At first I’d thought the groans meant he was in pain but as the transformation came to an end, after his voice had deepened significantly, I realised they were actually groans of pleasure!

“W-w…what the fuck… just happened!?” I stuttered, looking up at the new man before me.

Gil turned and smiled at me. “Muscle bear potion.” He stated simply. “Does exactly what it says. Turns you into a big muscle bear of a man like so.” The huge shopkeeper gestured down at his now massive burly body. “This one is only temporary and should wear off naturally within a week but we do sell permanent versions as well.” He explained as he made his way back behind the counter once again, struggling to move a little with his big belly and thick appendages straining against the torn fabric of his clothes. “Looks like I’ll have to grab a new uniform from the back to use the next week though. Oh well, I’m sure my boyfriend Simon will enjoy seeing me like this.” He laughed heartily.

Before I stepped foot into that shop I believed magic was nothing but tricks and fantasy. But after witnessing that man transform right before my very eyes, I had no choice but to believe everything about this shop was real! All the spell books, all the magical clothes, all the powerful crystals. It had to all be real!!

After regaining my composure I managed to explain my situation to Gil. Telling him all about Jason and the situation with his parents. Of course Gil sympathised with the situation and told me I was a good friend for sticking by Jason and wanting to help him. He stroked his beard a little as he thought until he came up with a magical solution to my problem. “You know, I think I’ve got just the thing that’ll sort your friend's situation right out.”

Gil began wandering through the shop, searching the shelves for something in particular as I followed behind him. As he did I couldn’t help glancing at his big bear butt from behind and I guess he could feel my eyes on him judging by the look he gave me shortly after. Before long he ended up pulling another vial off the shelf, this one being filled with a shimmering blue liquid. Strapped to the bottle was also a small instruction manual on how to use it. “This should do the trick. Nectar of the bodysnatcher. Its pure liquid essence made from the blood of real bodysnatchers.” He explained though I didn’t even begin to pretend like I knew what he was talking about. “Drinking this will grant you the powers of a bodysnatcher for a one time use. I think it’ll be perfect for your friend Jason.”

Next thing I knew we were back at the cash register. After much reassurance that this potion was exactly what I needed to help Jason, I ended up forking over my cash and buying the strange looking vial while silently hoping I wouldn’t come to regret it.

———

When I first told Jason about what I’d bought he thought I was insane and rightfully so. Before visiting the shop I would’ve been the same. But after a ton of persuasion I managed to get Jason on board with my plan to get him away from his parents. To put him in a whole new body. I’d given it a lot of thought already by this point and had decided on the perfect candidate. My dad. I figured that way I’d be hitting two birds with one stone. Jason can get away from his parents and Jason can take the place of my asshole dad! It was perfect! He was quick to agree to this as he’d always had a bit of a crush on my dad anyways so anything that involved him was a green light from Jason.

Once it was decided, I brought Jason over to my house while my dad was napping and began going through the instructions with him.

STEP 1: Drink the nectar of the bodysnatcher to allow its power to sink in. Drinking the whole vial is recommended for a smoother experience.

Jason was a little hesitant but with a little encouragement from me he twisted the lid off the vial and tossed it back. Before long the entire potion had disappeared down Jason’s throat. Moments later he described a strange feeling pulsing through his body. Almost like he’d just taken a bunch of caffeine as new energy pumped through his veins.

STEP 2: Find a recently worn article of clothing belonging to the person who’s body you wish to take and put it on.

The two of us snuck upstairs as quietly as possible so as not to wake my dad. We could hear him snoring quietly from his bedroom as I reached into the dirty clothes hamper. Moments after I pulled out a pair of my dads smelly black socks that he’d likely worn to work that day before passing them to Jason who immediately pressed them to his nose.

“Oh come on dude. Really?” I whispered, watching my best friend shamelessly huff on my dad’s worn socks. “Just put them on.”

Jason rolled his eyes, giving the socks one last sniff before starting to pull them on. “Whatever man. I still don’t believe this weird magic shit is real but I know your dad’s hot scent is.” He sniggered quietly as he finished tugging the oversized socks on.

STEP 3: Find the person whose body you wish to take and kiss them directly on the lips. This act will activate the magic now within your body.

Now that Jason had my dads socks on, the pair of us crept towards his room as quietly as possible before slowly pressing the door open. There, laid out on the large king sized bed was my dad. His body was only half covered by the bed sheets as he slept in nothing but his underwear from what we could tell. I could already feel Jason’s eyes burning with desire as he gazed upon my sleeping father. He didn’t even care if the magic worked, he just wanted to plant his lips on my dad.

The two of us tiptoed closer until we stood over my dad, gazing down at him while he dreamt. I gave Jason a nod and he knew exactly what to do. Slowly and silently, Jason undressed until he was completely naked besides my dad’s socks before creeping onto the bed. I held my breath nervously as he manoeuvred his way on top of my dad so that he had one leg on each side of my dad’s body. Jason glanced over at me with a smile before looking down at my father again. Then without another second wasted, Jason lowered himself down until his lips pressed against my father’s…

Almost immediately Jason’s body began to glow slightly while a volt of magic surged through both his body and my dad’s. This immediately woke my dad, his eyes going wide as he saw his son’s best friend kissing him. But they couldn’t pull away. It was as if their lips were glued together somehow! I could only watch in bewilderment as my dad started kicking his legs beneath Jason and flailing his arms around but it proved pointless as soon enough he seemed to lose all the strength in his body. Almost like he was paralysed. It seemed as though Jason was experiencing the same thing as his body now laid dead flat on top of my dad. I would’ve been worried had I not heard Jason moaning delightfully through the kiss. Whatever was happening I knew it had to have felt good.

What happened next looked like something directly out of a Sci-fi movie. Jason’s body glowed once again as it slowly began to sink into my dad’s body. At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me but as I watched Jason’s legs disappear into my dad’s beefier ones, I was forced to believe it. The rest of Jason’s body soon followed suit as his arms were next, Jason lining them up with my dad’s before allowing them to sink in as well. By this point my dad must’ve been experiencing just was much pleasure as Jason was by how his eyes had rolled back, not to mention how they both had obscene bulges that were rubbing against each other. That is until Jason’s crotch sunk into my dad’s as well, causing my dad’s dick to grow even harder. This process only continued with Jason’s torso fast disappearing until the only thing left was his head sticking out of my dad’s body, lips still pressed together. But of course that didn’t last long as even Jason’s head eventually pushed its way down inside of my dad’s head. Sinking into his body completely until my father was the only one left, now wearing the socks Jason had stolen from him.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried when my dad’s body started convulsing. For a moment I considered calling 911 but just as suddenly as it started, the convulsing stopped, leaving my dad’s body still and calm besides the pulsing erection in his underwear. “Dad? Jason?” I asked the sleeping man, not knowing who’s name to call. He didn’t reply. Only grunting and murmuring with his eyes closed. Then, without warning, he let out a deep moan which resulted in the pouch of his underwear getting soaked in cum. I had to look away in embarrassment…

“Whatcha lookin that way for kiddo. The show’s over here…” I heard my dad’s voice say but the tone behind it didn’t sound like him at all. It sounded cheerful almost, totally unlike his usual resentful self. I turned back around and I saw my dad now sitting up in bed with a huge cheesy grin on his face as he ran his hands along his thick hairy pecs. “You know I didn’t believe you at first but holy fuck… this is great! My voice is so deep! And I’m so hairy… fuck and these tattoos.” He traced a finger across the inked skin of one of his biceps while simultaneously admiring the thick muscle it sat upon.

“Jason? Is that really you in there?” I asked, still not quite believing that potion had actually worked even after all I’d just seen.

“Who else baby!” I watched as he hopped out of bed excitedly and dashed over towards my dad’s bedroom mirror. The way his face lit up upon seeing his reflection said everything. “But you can call me dad from now on…” he stroked his beard, admiring the facial hair he’d never been able to grow before as he inspected his mature looks. I could tell just by the expressions he made as his fingers ran across his face and down his body once again that he adored each and every sensation. Groping every part of my dad’s body that he’d always fantasised about touching. His pecs, his biceps, his ass and of course his cock. One of his rough hands glided over his wet crotch as he squeezed his cum soaked dad dick, still bulging in his underwear. The way he smirked so full of lust and desire was a look I never imagined I’d see on my own father’s face. Only after all that did he finally turn back to look at me and say “Unless of course you’d rather call me daddy instead.”

“Eww no! You’re literally my dad now Jason! That’s… weird…” I trailed off a little at the end. I’d never been attracted to my own dad before. Why would I be? He was an asshole!! Sure he might’ve been exactly my type with muscles, body hair and tattoo but… he was fucking dad for fuck sake! So why the fuck did I feel butterflies in stomach when he put a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m just kidding man. But seriously thank you for this. With your dad’s body I never have to go back to my shitty parents. Not to mention I look hot as fuck! I always wished I could fuck your dad but this is a whole other level.” With that he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a big hug, something my dad hadn’t given me since I was a kid. His strong hairy body and sticky crotch grinding against my own. “You’re the best *son* a dad could ask for.” He added, holding me tight in his arms allowing for me to get a good whiff of his scent.

After that I could’ve denied the feelings I had all I wanted but the semi in my pants was a dead giveaway. Jason chuckled as I rushed to hide the bulge but it was too late. My face went red as he gave me a pat on the back. “Don’t worry about it, Son. Can’t blame you for getting a little excited around your old man with how manly I am.” He was already acting so cocky and confident. “Now how’s about you and I head downstairs and go through everything I need to know to pull off being your dear old pops. That is after I’ve taken a nice long shower of course to familiarise myself with this hot dad body heheh.”

By that point I could already tell this was going to be a wild ride…

———

And that brings us back to the present. It’s been two weeks since Jason took my dad’s place and he’s been able to play the part perfectly, albeit coming off as a much friendlier version of my father. Turns out that when Jason took my dad’s body, he absorbed my dad’s soul as well. This in turn allowed Jason to tap into all of my dad’s memories, emotions and personality whenever a situation called for it. For all intents and purposes, he literally was my dad now. Hell he even insisted that I always call him dad even when no one’s around. It was weird at first but I’ve gotten used to it I guess.

He never fails to mention to me how great being inside my dad’s body feels. Whether it be his new muscles as he flexed them in the mirror, or bragging about how big of a load his big dad cock and balls can bust now. Loving his new beard, smacking his new ass, appreciating his new tattoos, gawking over his smelly new armpits and the list goes on. He described to me how great it feels to finally be treated like an equal by all the other adults around him when at work only to come home and boss me around in the most seductive ways possible.

If there’s one thing I do somewhat regret about all this however, it’s that now Jason won’t stop teasing me with his new body every chance he gets. Like today when he’d been laying on the couch in just his underwear, practically waiting for me to walk in on him. Whenever we were home alone he made sure to wear as little as possible to show off his body and I was always trying my utmost to tear my eyes away from him. But when he walked around in the house in nothing but a tight jockstrap that showed off his bare ass, I just couldn’t stop myself from staring and imaging what it’d be like to stick my face between my dads hairy cheeks… fuck! I can’t believe he’s managed to do this to me!

Now here I was scampering out of the living room, trying to get the thoughts of my hot new dad out of my head. Everyday it’d been getting worse. I’d been popping boners to my dad more often and even multiple times a day. It didn’t take long for him to slowly start infuriating my jerk off sessions starting with him crossing my mind for a moment as I jerked off until eventually it got to the point where I was having entire jerk off fantasies around him! Imagining what it’d be like to fuck or be fucked by him. And could you blame me when he was constantly shoving that hot body of his in my face! It was torturous at this point. Like he was slowly trying to wear me down. And it was working.

“Hey son. Why don’t you come back through here and watch some sports with your old man. You can snuggle up to me if you want.” Jason said as he came up behind me and wrapped my dad’s strong arms around me and pressed his arousal against my ass. “Come on, I know you love being close to dad.” He cooed, his voice so deep and soft at the same time that I practically melted on the spot.

Before I knew it Dad had managed to guide me back towards the living room where the two of us sat on the couch together watching sports. Jason had never been that into sports before so I could only guess it was a trait he’d picked up from my father after the takeover. As we watched he made sure to wrap an arm around me to keep me pulled close against his body. I didn’t want to admit it but I actually really enjoyed getting to be this close to him now. To feel his hairy body pressed against me as the scent from his pits filled my nostrils. It was driving me crazy.

At one point during the game, dad decided to stuff his free hand down his briefs to fondle his fat hairy balls. Just watching him do such a thing made me horny as fuck to the point where I wished I could’ve been the one cradling his big balls instead. Of course this was all according to dad’s plan as quickly noticed I’d lost all interest in the TV and was now totally focused on him. With a smirk dad pulled his hand out of his briefs and without a second of hesitation he pressed that very hand against my face.

“There you go boy. Huff on that.” He commended as the powerful aroma of his sweaty dad balls invaded my nose and overpowered all my senses. Before I knew it I was sinking deep into his hand, sniffing the scent deeply and craving even more. I knew it was wrong. It was my dad’s body. My dad’s balls. My dad’s scent. But… I craved it so fucking badly! And I only had myself to blame for giving my best friend that damn body!

In a flash I was down on my knees and between dad’s legs as I shoved my face into his pouch. Feeling the heft of his heavy balls press against my face through the tight fabric of his briefs. Allowing the powerful smell to wash over my face. He held my head down, forcing me to kiss and lick his bulge as his thick length grew harder. I wanted nothing more than to take it in my mouth and swallow every last drop of cum he had stored in my dad’s balls. And as he finally pulled down his briefs, allowing his thick cock to spring out in front of me, it seemed as though I was about to get my wish.

What followed was a scene of a father relentlessly face fucking his son as dad absolutely destroyed my throat with his cock. It was clear he’d been waiting to do this ever since I helped him steal that body. Thrusting his hips back and forth as he forced his thick cock as far down my throat as he could, making sure that I gagged on every glorious inch. I have no idea how long it went on for as I was still entranced by his aroma and by just how good it felt to feel his thick dad dick in my mouth but soon enough his moan started to grow and before I knew it my mouth was filled to the brim with thick salty cum.

I fell backwards having just swallowed my best friend's load. No… my dad’s load. I couldn’t believe what I’d just done but at the same time I didn’t find myself regretting it either. If anything I wanted to do it again right! When I sat back up I was of course greeted by a view of my dad’s softening cock as it dripped with cum. “You’re such a good boy for swallowing all of daddy’s cum.” He placed a gentle hand on my cheek, smiling softly. “As a reward, I might let you sleep in my bed tonight. Maybe then dad can give you a demonstration on how real men fuck. How’s that sound?”

“Oh yes please dad! I need your dick inside me!” I blurted out without thinking. I couldn’t believe how much of a slut he’d turned me into.

Dad chuckled softly before shoving my face back into his crotch. “If you clean me up nice and good, I’ll make sure your wish comes true son.” He didn’t need to say another word, I was already licking away. Dad went back to watching TV while I cleaned off his cock. Lapping up any remaining cum dripping from his cock before running my tongue across his soft, but still surprisingly large, shaft. Even after that I couldn’t stop myself from licking his big sweaty balls which dad didn’t seem to mind. God they tasted incredible…

And as my tongue slid back and forth, I couldn’t help but be thankful that I found that strange Magic shop when I did. To think that magic not only existed but could make something as crazy as this a reality?! Maybe I’ll have to head back there sometime and pick out something for myself. After all, Dad won’t stop going on about how amazing it feels to have a bigger, more mature body. Maybe I should find a way to get one myself to see what all the fuss is about…

Read The Sequel next!!

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#magic #permanent #hairy #male body theft #identity theft #absorption #dad #dad and son #age progression #male transformation #bear #male muscle growth

[damianbugs]

dc might not like to address how they've unofficially retconned a lot of jasons original robin run to end up being absolutely classist, but i most certainly will bring it up whenever i can. while this is definitely narrative criticism, it is more of a study, as i am not expecting anyone, readers or dc, to really change how they view the todds.

jason goes from being a rather reserved, kind and genuinely friendly child to an angry and cruel boy who was contemplating murder at some point (batman: urban legends). not to mention willis going from an absent but well meaning man who turned to crime to support his family to now being an abusive father and husband. catherine todd was originally stated to have died from overdose, but was later confirmed in death in the family to pass away from cancer, so while the 'poor addict mother' stereotype still applies, it is more complicated in her case.

it is no surprise that in modern tellings, all three of them represent very realistic forms of poverty. willis the abusive criminal, catherine the addict (her battle with cancer is always noticeably left out) and jason the violent child left to repeat the cycle.

dc simply couldn't allow the todd family to remain poor but an all in all good family (though i am careful to say they were perfect, past or present, since depending how you read him, willis can still be seen as a bad father and horrible husband), and instead had to dramatise negative stereotypes of poor people in order to really perpetuate the existence of jason being the "angry" robin. this mostly comes down to dc perhaps wanting to bury older comics featuring the original characterisation (since the only way to read them is through piracy), and there is no better way to do that than make his current characterisation nothing like his old one, at all.

after all, how else can we ensure readers are aware of how angry, evil and emotionally unstable jason todd is, if not making his life the pinnacle of why poor people are terrible and should not have kids? dc is not trying to hide it at all, it's almost laughable.

while the blatant classism is very clearly the biggest issue, from a storytelling perspective it is also really disappointing. deconstructing catherine and willis todd to their morally reprehensible, abusive and neglectful 2d personalities in modern telling leaves a massive gap is what made jason so personable as robin. personally, i also think it takes away how homelessness and his own poverty seperate from his family might have affected jason's morals and opinions on certain topics — another aspect of his character that is very important but often undeveloped.

especially with jason; making him having always been this quick to rage and violent child/robin takes away the true devastation of his death and subsequent revival. he died an innocent, damaged and complicated but caring boy, and came back vengeful and spiteful. he is a boy who has suffered a lot in life, with a sick mother he had to provide for due to his absent father, who also died due to a life of crime — and yet jason broke free from the cycle and became something more.

he loved to learn, to go to school, to play sports and to help people. he loved being a hero, even when it got tough, and though sometimes it was hard to remember, he always tried to stay on the bright side of things.

it's one of the main reasons bruce is so unable to process and accept his son's return, because to him, the person who came back is not the son he lost. though, that is another conversation entirely.

on the one hand however, i can see why jason's current life story might be more appealing to certain readers (and depending on the work, fanon or canon, it can makes more sense). since now that he's broken out of the cycle of abuse, he can use his strength to protect other vulnerable people. the true 'people's hero' in a way batman and other adjacent vigilantes can not be.

it is just a little regrettable that to fulfill this, he and his family must adhere to classist stereotypes to make it more believable. after all, jason was very much the 'people's robin' even without all the retcons to his character. he has always stood up for people who couldn't do it themselves.

#jason todd #robin ii #batman and robin #red hood #bruce wayne #catherine todd #willis todd #more of a word dump than an actual study #just some thinking #classism #dc #saki comic talks

[with-my-murder-flute]

Gideon Nav and the motherless child

(A post I promised at Wiscon in May that I'd write, and am finally getting around to.)

Gideon does not come off as a severely abused and neglected child, and I think there's a reason for that.

Both she and Harrow have full on The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog-calibre childhoods. Harrow acts more like it, from her extremely low thresholds for sensory overstimulation to her entire social... everything. Those are all things kids raised in neglect are way more likely to deal with.

When I first read GtN I was in my habitual "Look self, not everyone works in your field, SFF authors give their characters these kinds of horrible childhoods all the time, nobody else cares about the realistic consequences of bringing a child up that way" mode. Like, it was nice that Muir seemed aware that the Ninth House's children generally would be more sickly and have higher fatality rates, but I also didn't want Gideon to be one speck less herself, so I could live with the slight implausibility.

And then we got Harrow the Ninth. We got the slow revelation of the Sleeper. The revenant. Wake's immense rage.

"I hated that damned sword for years. I don’t know why; it just felt strange—rancorous."

"Where the hell have you been hiding for nineteen years?” “Where—you—fucking—left—me. In my bones. Then a blade. In—that—fucking—hole.”

I immediately remembered: Gideon loved her sword so much she could frigging marry it.

Here's my theory: Gideon is Gideon in part because her mother has been haunting her for years.

Children need love if they're going to grow up. I don't mean that metaphorically. Babies that aren't held, rocked, touched, and soothed don't release the same mix of hormones that tell their bones it's time to move outwards. The steady attachment of baby to the adult who takes care of them is the central pillar around which children construct everything from control of their faculties to their senses of self. When babies are not cared for and able to attach to loving, reliable caretakers, they struggle in so many ways. I know this sounds really vague and ~vibes~-y, but I mean it in the sense of, "here is a curated reading list of scientific research on the topic, which I provide because I can't condense it while also shouting about Griddlehark on Tumblr"

So in GtN, Gideon just seemed like this ridiculously optimistic outcome for a severely maltreated child. She's optimistic and self-confident, brazen but moral, outgoing but centred. She's smart enough to hold her own against Harrow, to make complicated plans for the future, and to cope when her plans encounter hiccups. She knows that she wants to leave the Ninth House, and when she finally manages it, she doesn't panic or find some new miserable hole to shove herself into; she gleefully steps out and stretches her wings. And yet, her less-than-stellar relationships with people back home don't prevent her (in any way other than a little shyness) from forming new, varied, complicated connections with all the different people at Canaan House.

That's all... like, it is wildly optimistic to think that a child whose closest adult attachment figure from twelve months old was as distant and limited as Aiglamene would be like. That is winning the child development lottery.

That, or...

Maybe when she was seven, and her biggest emotional attachment (besides Harrow) was to the imaginary skeleton mother in her head, Aiglamene broke it to her that her mother wasn't out in rotation yet. Maybe Aiglamene led her to the niche where Wake's bones lay. Maybe when Aiglamene left, Gideon sat down there and said, Hello, mother. I love you.

Maybe it was then? Or maybe it was before? As a revenant, Wake's closest link to the living world was her own body, her own bones. But she also had thanergetic links with things like her murder weapon. Her murderer. The baby she'd died delivering to the Tomb. That made it possible before, certainly, but physical proximity counts for something, so maybe it was then, that Wake first tried possessing a living soul.

Wake whispering tiny inaudible suggestions into her daughter's ear like: Fuck this place. Fuck these bones. Light this place on fire. They don't own you. You don't owe them shit. Get up, get out, escape. Blow this place apart. Fight, defy them, make them pay, and remember that ten thousand years of history brought you here to stand against them. Here is what it's like to be a human being, to throw your shoulders back, to fight with people you trust, to gauge your enemies clearly, to know the power you punch with. And if there are no other standing orders: Live. Live. Live.

You cannot tell me Gideon's first act upon receiving a real sword, a soldier's sword, was not to take it down to her mother's niche and show it off. It was probably like offering her an open backpack to hop into.

Maybe all Wake's "mothering" was just her trying with singleminded rage to program instructions for detonation into her bomb. Even still: At least Gideon had a mum who wanted her to be as explosive as she was, and backed her up for every step of it.

Harrow didn't even get that much.

#the locked tomb #child abuse tw #child neglect tw #gideon nav #htn spoilers #commander wake

[gh-0-stcup]

Random list of things that bug me with portrayals of the Fanged Four in many fics:

Drusilla looking down on Spike/him not being "enough of a demon" for her.

Drusilla was thrilled with how Spike turned out. Seriously, look at their flashback scenes again - she adored him from the moment she set eyes on William. There are few moments of disapproval. When those happen she just looks at him with confusion and lets him get on with whatever he's doing.

Darla being (just) a materialistic ice queen. Super cold, barely any emotion outside of when there's torture or jewels involved.

Despite being very scornful of humans and sentiment, Darla was incredibly passionate and expressive. She was one of the most vibrant members of their family. This gal loved life. She could be very cold, but she was also often filled with emotion - she expressed joy, rage, sadness, even nurturing on occasion.

Darla blindly following along with Angelus or entirely letting him run the show. Often portrayed as her being too stupid/vapid to lead.

Darla was Angelus' sire. She taught him how to be who he was. She guided him along until he was able to stand on his own two feet. She was opinionated and had no problem leaving or killing him if he stepped out of line. Hell, she'd betray him just to add a bit of excitement to their lives.

The thing is, Angelus and Darla were partners. It may sometimes seem like one was letting the other have control, but their desires were almost always in sync. There didn't need to be a leader between the two of them because they were largely on the same page. That's why their relationship lasted as long as it did. I think this is one of the biggest things that gets neglected in fanfic.

Darla being less of a sadist than Angelus.

Darla was every bit as hungry as Angelus was. She egged him on, he came up with increasingly horrible forms of torture to entertain them both. It's not an accident that Valentine's Day was a very special holiday for Angelus.

Darla and Angelus being nothing but abusers to Drusilla and Spike.

There was friction between all members of the family at times. All were also shown to have some fondness for each other. Darla and Drusilla ended up being very close, as were Spike and Angelus.

Angelus (and sometimes Darla) despising everything about humanity and caring about nothing but hunting.

Angelus canonically had a good amount of appreciation for the finer things humans had created. He disliked how the Order of Aurelius lived apart from humanity in sewers, only going up to feed. He lured Darla away from the Master by promising her a better way of life, one where she could actually live.

Angelus cried at the ballet. He loved art, music, and having a good time. The two traveled the world. He's fluent in at least 10 languages, implying he had an interest in being able to communicate with people. Angelus and Darla were the OG party couple, committed to living their lives to the fullest.

Spike being disgusted by violence or having a genuine conscience pre-chip.

This shouldn't even need to be elaborated on imo. Sure, he was less into sadism than the others. But the idea that he had a shred of moral outrage over anything the other 3 did is ridiculous to me. This is the guy who gleefully hired a pedophile to torture Angelus.

Imo differences in his killing style isn't about morals or having more humanity, it's about what interests him. Like how some humans are super into football and others are like, "Ew, why? Sounds boring af."

Spike not enjoying Dru getting rough in the bedroom.

He is canonically a masochist.

#there's more but i'm tired #btvs #ats #fanged four #spike #drusilla #angelus #darla

[distort-opia]

Do you think that Bruce, having lost his parents very early, has a very romanticized view of his own parents? You know, when you're a kid you remember something like that but... Things sometimes are not like they looked like. I ask this because more and more adaptations are appearing in which Bruce's parents were not nice to him or were even criminals. And to a certain extent, I kind of like it because most of the rich people in Gotham are criminals to some extent and I kept wondering why the Wayne's were so good... But I don't know if that's the case in the comics' Canon timeline.

Oh yeah I definitely think Bruce idealizes his parents, and especially his father. Multiple canonical comics have shown that his parents weren't perfect, not by a long shot; they loved Bruce, but they were also busy people with issues of their own. Meanwhile, Bruce was clearly an anxious child, deeply affected by his parents' occasional neglect... and his father, Thomas, didn't much like Bruce being so "emotional". There's more than one comic in which Thomas scolds Bruce for it, and Bruce has reactions that speak so much towards a desperate need for validation from him. Let's just say, it makes a lot of sense to me that Bruce ended up exhibiting certain toxic behaviors towards his own children. And that he internalized an idea of masculinity and fatherhood that's not the healthiest, either. Someone recently asked me about Bruce's traumas in childhood, and you'd be surprised how many are connected to his parents, and specifically Thomas; here's a link if you're curious (I cite many sources for the examples above).

Overall I'd say that in canon, Thomas and Martha Wayne aren't downright shitty horrible parents, or anything of the sort. Yeah, other adaptations basically made them criminals or abusive, and suggested that Bruce just repressed the bad memories or overwrote them (like in Batman: Damned, for example) but... I think the current picture suggested by canon is more compelling. Bruce's parents loved him and they tried their best to be good to him, but they were also flawed. The darkness that Bruce exhibits on more than one occasion was there in them too, as multiple alternate Universes show. Flashpoint has Martha turn into the Joker and Thomas into a brutal and unforgiving Batman. Batman/Superman #18 shows us a world in which Thomas was killed, but Bruce and Martha survived, with Martha establishing herself as a powerful person in Gotham's underworld, targeting criminals and villains because of her obsession for keeping Bruce safe. And I think all this is how it should be, Bruce's parents should be portrayed as complex individuals with a darker side too, simply because reacting to his parents' murder the way Bruce did isn't something anyone would do. For him to react so strongly, to dedicate his life to never healing and refusing to let go... tragically, it makes so much sense that before all that, Bruce deeply craved his parents' love and affection, but wasn't getting it enough. It makes sense that, if you take a child with insecure attachment who's already deeply hurt by any sign of neglect from his parents, and you have his parents die in front of him-- the ultimate form of being left behind, being abandoned-- he wouldn't respond in the healthiest of ways. It follows that he'd end up defining himself by that trauma, and forever fear loss.

#[sigh] there's a reason the Batfam is so big after all #man's need for connection is a black hole that never gets filled #it's only equal to his fear of losing the connections he creates. hence the seemingly contradictory reality #of Bruce having so many people around him but being so distant and avoidant #Bruce's character at the end of the day is just. 'fear of loss vs. fear of being alone: FIGHT' #asks #bruce wayne meta #bruce wayne #batman #my meta

[not-my-final-account]

By the way, head cannon that Fright Knight speaks about himself in his head in third person when he feels more like a knight than a human/sentient so yeah.

-

Fright Knight accidentally adopts his King, emotionally at least. It wasn’t his fault! His king was bruised so he asked and he was getting bullied, and his parents didn’t do anything and they were ghost hunters who want to kill and study him! Fright Knight had never thought he would be co-parenting with ghost hunters, lucky he had a human form. With a bit of help from Clockwork and Pandora Fright Knight was know King Phantoms legal god father, he was claiming custody if King Phantoms parents found out he was Phantom and reacted negatively; honestly he probably should right now given how many expamples of neglect he already had, but King Phantom was happy. Now let Fright Knight explain how he got here:

Fright Knight is used to Pariah Dark who is no doubt abusive in one way or another. Fright Knight is used to not moving a hair when his king orders him to stop. Fright Knight is used to a horrible king with a cold heart that knows no bounds to its selfishness.

When King Phantom comes Fright Knight assumes it will be the same.

King Phantom is not the same. It takes a few months but Fright Knight realised that King Phantom veiws him as an equal. As a person not a servant. This only makes Fright Knight more loyal to him, he thinks he would stay with King Phantom even if he got dethroned. His king had a heart of gold that put others before itself, while this had gotten King Phantom into a lot of trouble Fright Knight dared say that… he liked the change.

He was so used to installing fear into the people he meets, or being the one scared in Pariah Darks case, that he was confused when King Phantom seemed to do neither. King Phantom even asked if he had eaten and then brought him something called a Nasty Burger when he said he had not (Fright Knight did not know why they were called ‘Nasty’ they tasted adequate).

King Phantom was so young, being King was not a burden he should be forced to carry! Fright Knight was shocked to realise how many burdens a literal infant (in ghost terms anyways) had been forced to carry. And King Phantom was a kind and fair ruler, perhaps too mercyful for his own good Fright Knight mused.

Fright Knight is forever loyal to his kind King and has grown to care for him outside of a knight wanting to protect the king. So when King Phantom walked into a small lair he had made in his castle, with bruises on the side of his face and arm, Fright Knight decided to find who did this and give them a little tap with his sword, anyone who would hurt King Phantom deserved the fear Fright Knight would install in them. “Who did this?” Fright Knight asked, King Phantom glanced up then to the bruises on his arm

“Oh this? Dash bullies me pretty much every day, he got a bad test score.” King Phantom mentioned. King Phantom had told Fright Knight to understand a situation before jumping to conclusions to stop potentially dangerous misunderstandings

“Why would you change his test score?” Fright Knight asked

“I didn’t. He just likes to take things out on me and got partically mad today, hit me with a tray then shoved me in a locker and got my late to class. It wasn’t my locker which was just plain annoying.” King Phantom said, Fright Knight picked up his sword

“Where does Dash live?” he asked.

“Fright Knight! I’ve told you not to kill -or trap on their worst fears- people, even if they’ve mean to me.” King Phantom said.

“Understood. I will not go after Dash.” Fright Knight said, King Phantom nodded happily and that made not hurting Dash worth it (for now). However there were other parts of King Phantoms sentance that set off alarms “Your parents don’t do anything?” Fright Knight asked, he shifted to his human form (the king had made and gifted him a small amulet that allowed this, for when Fright Knight needed to see or be with King Phantom but could not be seen as Fright Knight. He had dark skin, dreadlocked hair, tatoos down his arms and usually wore sweatpants with armour hidden underneath them and depending on the situation either a hoodie also with hidden armour or just a black singlet.) and sat down on the bed next to the king

“They don’t notice.” King Phantom said gloomily. Fright Knights eyes wet wide and glowed blue

“What?!” he asked

“Their busy hunting ghosts.” King Phantom explained

“Hunting ghosts- to help you?” I asked

“No. They’ve been ghost hunters for years before they had me. They want to capture me actually and ‘tear the ghost boy apart molecule by molecule’.” King Phantom said

“Any other family you stay with?” I asked hopefully

“Well you know how Jazz my sister is nice, but she can’t move out yet. And Vlad is my uncle-” King Phantom started

“My appologies for interupting but Plasmius is your uncle?!” I asked

“Yeah I know! He keeps scolding me about my grades while we’re fighting! He knows full well that inbetween Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom and King Phantom I barely have time to study!” King Phantom said, I was already planning out people to take over some less important kingly duties

“I am talking to your parents.” I announced as I stood up

“What?! No! The cousin excuse only works so many times and at least even if he looked like a ghost Dan is the same ethnicity-”

“I’m sorry, your parents care so little they don’t even realise that the people you brang home are not your cousins?” I asked in horror, King Phantom paused

“Well, yeah. When you put it that way it sounds bad.” he said. I walked out the door and through a portal, walking straight into the Fenton house and pretending to be a friendly out-of-towner with an intrest in ghost hunting looking for teachers and a place to stay. My name was going to be Frie Getgi Ver, pronounced Fry Get-gi ver so fright giver, if they didn’t notice that they were truely horrible parents.

Part 1 | Part 2 (not written yet)

#danny phantom #fright knight #notmyfinalaccount writes

[nejiisthebesthyuga]

🤡:hiashi is a horrible father who abused hinata!

Meanwhile manga and The Last film hinata fans love so much:

hiashi NEVER abused hinata in any form at all.

N E V E R.

hinata fans lie about hinata “being abused by hiashi” to draw your attention away from the fact that hinata exploits (what is a real form of abuse) Neji and Ko as her slaves and uses them as her teachers and bodyguards.

hinata fans try to gaslight you into thinking that “hinata has a bad dad who hates and neglects her” so that they can trick you into sympathing with hinata.

By the way,even if hiashi really was an abusive father,like Gaara’s dad, this still would NOT justify hinata abusing Neji and Ko by using them as her slaves.

hinatafans are desperate to white wash hinata and to make her seem oh so innocent and oh so pure,so they lie,lie and lie some more.

hiashi being slightly strict to hinata one single time in the whole Naruto/Boruto franchise does NOT make him an abusive father.

hinata lost to hanabi,who is FIVE FUCKING YEARS YOUNGER!

Imagine that your child is worse in mathematics or any other school subject that someone who is 5 years younger: will you praise your child for failing?

Also,y’all are forgetting that this is a shinobi world full of political games and wars: hiashi is raising future clanhead,obviously he is forced to discipline his children and to pick a worthy candidate.

hiashi could and should have banished hinata to side branch and claimed her with caged bird seal,but he did not do so,he left hinata with all the sweet privileges of being in main Hyuga branch: owning slaves and using them as her bodyguards and teachers,having free access to the strongest Hyuga justu,being protected even against chunin exam rules; but without any responsibilities at all: hiashi dead straight tells hinata that she has no responsibility in the clan and can do whatever she pleases to.

Also,another lie hinata fans tell you:

🤡:hiashi forced hinata to become a kunoichi! hinata never wanted to be a shinobi,but was forced because of her clan!

hinata LOST her titul of heir and future clanhead to hanabi when she was 12.

hiashi TOLD HINATA TO DO WHATEVER SHW WANTS TO.

Nobody never forced hinata to do anything: unlike Neji and Ko,hinata is not enslaved with caged bird seal and is absolutely free.

hinatafans are so stupid that they don’t even understand their fav.

hinata wanted to be a kunoichi herself because she wanted to be with Naruto,that is why she even shamelessly stole Naruto’s ninja way and than abandoned it.

Stupid bitch and her stupid fans.

Ew.

#neji hyuga #anti hinata hyuga #anti hinata #antihinata #hinata hyuga #hanabi hyuga #hyuga clan #hiashi hyuga #naruto #naruto analysis #naruto shippuden #naruto gaiden #naruto manga #naruto anime #naruto mobile #naruto memes #naruto meta #naruto merch #naruto movie #boruto #boruto two blue vortex #boruto next generation #boruto naruto next generations #sasuke uchiha #sakura #itachi uchiha #madara uchiha #obito uchiha #akatsuki #anime and manga

[kerubimcrepin]

The big analysis of Joris Jurgen's horrible-no-good childhood.

TW: discussions of child neglect, and what might constitute as emotional abuse.

Firstly, to address something, I hadn't in the last liveblog: There are plenty of times in the show where one can see Joris saying things that he may not entirely mean...

But it is especially interesting to see him say something like this immediately after breaking down into tears about it just a scene prior.

Hm. Anyway. I'm sure this won't affect their relationship going forward.

I've discussed Kerubim's issues of self-worth, loneliness, and dishonesty, before on this blog, — but you will never believe it, Kerubim isn't the only one who suffers because of his issues.

It's nigh time we discuss seven-year-old Joris, and the terrible, no good, case of emotional repression and lying.

Let's set the stage first.

Joris grew up in a deeply isolated and neglectful, and at times dangerous, environment, in every single way. And the child neglect Kerubim engaged in lessened, but did not stop after Simone arrived.

He did not have any family members besides Kerubim, — for obvious reasons, both of their family members are either dead, or want nothing to do with them, — and he did not have any friends, besides Tatak. The reason he did not have friends is unknown, but there are several factors that may have contributed to that:

The sorry state of their house might have complicated his relationship with other kids and given him and Kerubim a poor reputation among neighbours;

The part of the city they live in might simply not have a lot of families, due to being a — being, perhaps, mostly populated by adventurers and other people in violent professions, as well as the shops that cater to them (which are, in turn, mostly ran by retired adventurers).

And then there's the third thing: Kerubim is his best friend.

Joris did not have a support system in the form of an extended family, — or at the very least, in the form of friends outside the household, — and It doesn't seem like the other adults Kerubim knows were at all involved in Joris's childhood. Besides that, Joris was seemingly homeschooled, — and, considering Kerubim's finances, and his referencing at least one school's existence, there were other options.

For the large part of Joris's life, they only had one another, and it almost seems like Kerubim, with his abandonment issues, and low self-esteem, acted in ways that isolated Joris further.

Due to Ecaflip's mistreatment of him as a child, and his loneliness due to the death of his family when he was a child, — what he wanted the most as a father was to be a best friend to Joris.

(And, much more selfishly, not that he would admit that, — he wanted someone to replace Lou/Indie/Atcham/Bashi/Everyone else who has left him.)

He could remember being a child, and he knew how he would have liked to be treated, — as a peer, obviously. It's important for peers to respect each other equally, and listen to each other's pain, right?

Except, in a way, Kerubim is perpetuating a cycle here.

And children are not peers, best friends, or caretakers. They depend on their parents for their survival.

And Joris knows what will happen to him, if Kerubim is gone. Kerubim himself was an orphan, and has shared more than enough stories about that.

Because of this, thoughts of Kerubim passing away are a usual worry for Joris, no doubt fueled by Kerubim's dramatics, and love for his attention — and it means he'll do everything to make sure Kerubim is happy and healthy.

Even if it means sacrificing his own comfort for his sake. Even if it means putting up with being treated badly.

Joris and Kerubim have what is known as an "enmeshed", or "codependent", parent-child relationship, the characteristics of which are, according to online resources:

Parents expecting children to be their best friends and always confiding in them.

Children receiving praise for maintaining the family’s status quo, and conflict-avoidant behaviours.

The lack of emotional and physical boundaries.

Role reversal, in the form of the child being expected to take care of the parent's mental health. (Despite lacking the maturity to)

Children prioritizing parents needs and feelings over their own.

Childhood overindulgence, in the form of the parent using the child for wish fulfilment.

Another interesting titbit that informs his character, is that, from a very young age, children learn how to respond to their feelings and express them, based on the way adults behave, by mirroring those behaviours, — and Kerubim is anything but honest about his feelings, more often than not, putting on a brave smile.

Joris values his stories more than anything, despite knowing that, often, they may be fake, at least in some parts. To him, words matter more than the truth of the matter, when push comes to shove between them. But also, he doesn't like outright lies, which are just as plentiful between them.

Despite how he may usually act, Joris isn't really the happiest about how their family is. He knows that Kerubim is dishonest and neurotic, and, in a way, it causes dissonance in his mind. He loves him more than anything, and to trust him, — but he knows that to trust Kerubim is to be disappointed.

When something bad happens? It's a guarantee, that instead of being comforted, it will be his job to pretend to be comforted, so that Kerubim doesn't completely fall apart. So that he can still be taken care of, — and every child wants to be taken care of.

Yet another thing he can't really trust Kerubim with.

Just like Kerubim, he is growing up to be a good liar. And someone very much afraid of being abandoned.

But everyone has their limit, fear of abandonment or not. No matter how much you repress these feelings, they'll come bubbling to the surface eventually.

...An interesting tidbit about children raised in enmeshed relationships, is that, at times, as adults, they find it difficult to trust others, open up to people, or have close friends in general. Due to guilt of those people on the outside not being their family, and due to associating close relationships with pain, responsibility, and giving up a part of themselves.

They grow up to be aloof, flighty, and cold.

Another interesting tidbit is that, sometimes, they find themselves unable to leave at all.

#ep48 #- only on a technicality. because the post begins with that episode's ending #ro liveblogs dofus #joris jurgen #dofus #krosmoz #wakfu #kerubim crepin #because im slam dunking him here. DIE old man

[eyesthecolorofarson]

Interacting with Entities

The Justice Leagues main meeting room wasn’t usually this crowded, with both the entire Flash, Bat, Super, and Arrow families in attendance. Though to be fair, Red Robin didn’t usually send out a message on mass that told them he had information that changed the fundamentals of life and death.

Tim was typing at the main computer, ignoring or not hearing the whispers of everyone around him as he opened what seemed to be a very disturbing image. It showed a little girl, no older than ten, with red hair and off-color green-white skin in what seemed to be a lab. She was leaning against an operating table, sobbing. On the operating table was a toddler, who couldn’t be older than three.

He’d been dissected. He was pinned open like a frog in a high school science class, and the only thing in his small body were his ribs. His other organs were in jars surrounding him, his heart above his head. His eyes had been removed as well, placed in separate jars on each side of his heart.

The room fell deathly silent as they took in the image. Tim turned around, tired and grim, and spoke. “Who you are looking at is Jazz and Danny Fenton from Ohio. Jazz is possible a different species, and Danny is a clone she created. The reason she knew how to do this and succeeded is because of her hyper intelligence and from watching her parents, who are scientists.”

Tim turned around again and clicked a button. “And as you can see, their very unethical ones.” The video began playing, projecting the girls deep, heart-wrenching sobs. You could hear how much she loved him, how many good memories she had with him. She choked, sniffling and whimpering in a soft, broken tone, “I–*hic* I….. I j-just didn’t wa-waaant *hic* to be alone any*hic*more….”

Behind her, something began to form.

It made the video distort, but it was clearly a person fading into existence. It looked like someone swirling something in reverse. The video cleared up and floating where the vortex had been was an old man, with icy blue skin and red eyes. He had long, white hair and wore a cloak that hid the rest of his body.

He placed a hand on her shoulder and spoke in a soft tone, “You are a child.” Jazzs sobs didn’t stop, but they slowed as he continued. “You are a scared, abused, neglected, horribly alone child. The only thing you wanted was to be loved, to have something to love. This was not your fault. This was a failure of the system, not you.”

Jazz had stopped crying, and for a moment they were silent, staring at the body in front of them. The man spoke again, but softer. “There is a way to bring him back, you know.” Jazzs head wiped around so fast many worried of whiplash. But the camera now has a clear view of her face, and her bright red eyes.

“How?” She said, gripping the man’s cloak, “no riddles, no cryptic messages, please Clockwork, please, just tell me how to bring him back.” He smiled softly and patted her head. “It will be a long journey, and difficult in ways unimaginable, and you must do it alone. But I believe you will be able to succeed.”

Clockwork began floating about the lab, picking out random things such as syringes filled with strange brightly-colored liquids and futuristic looking weapons as he spoke. “What is an Entity, Jasmine?”

Jazz watched him, confused, but answered. “It’s when the personification of a concept, like Lady Justice, or a natural unchangeable occurrence, like life and death or the four seasons, gains sentience and comes together to form a corporeal, human-like form.”

“It happens when these concepts or occurrences gain enough power,” she continued, “and then every part of them comes together to form a singular whole. Like how every religious belief formed Lady Death, or how everyone’s opinion on a season effects how they act and express themselves.”

“Very good.” Clockwork said, the objects he picked up floating around him in a circle when he let them go. “Deep in the Hindu Kush Mountains, in a place called Nada Parbat, there is an Entity trapped. Her name is ɭ̷͕̈́ค̴̡̞̮̱̩͓̝̅̈́͗͆̋̆̋̈́̉̿̓̕͠ᘔ̴̨̢̖͔͖͚͙̗̚ͅค̵͈͍̞͚̄̐̃̔̌̋͜ͅг̶̣̙̰̣͔̖̰̱̝͔͍̘͂͆̄̈́̆̍͑͒͛̃̚ͅย̶͇̥̜͈͚̼͉̈́̈̓̒͊͗̍͋̄̆̕͠ร̷̪̃̈́͒̒̿͠͝.” The Justice League was torn from their intense focus of the video to the sudden pain in their ears, the wave of nausea that washed over them, the dizziness and confusion. Whatever language that was it wasn’t meant for human ears.

In the video, Jazz didn’t seem effected, and even understood what he was saying. She muttered the word, over and over again, before she said, “Lazarus? I’ve never heard of that before. What’s she made out of?” Clockwork floated back towards her and continued to explain. “Her true name is Lady Life. She is the oldest, the truest, spread among and deeply connected to every part of this universe. From the smallest ant to the largest planet, she is Life in its purest form.”

“Is she older than you?” Jazz asked, tilting her head and grabbing every syringe she could reach, placing them on a different table than the one Danny was on and organizing them by size and color. Clockwork laughed. “Far, far older. She existed before Lady Death did, in a sort of ‘chicken and egg’ scenario.”

“I tell you this,” Clockwork started, handing Jazz several of the weapons before continuing, “because for the past few centuries, Lady Life’s powers have been severely abused by people who are not worthy of them. And those subjected to her power against their will are going about treating the side effects incredibly wrong.”

“What are the rules for interacting with an Entity?” “Do not take, do not lie, do not steal.” Jazz replied, “Ask, explain, thank. And good will follow.” Clockwork smiled. “Very good. And what is the rule for when bringing an Entity into the body?” “Do not bathe, for it washes away.” Jazz again replied. “Do not inject, for it pierces skin. Consume, for eating is only done willingly and happily.”

“Now, a series of questions.” Clockwork said, “When bringing an Entity into the body, what happens when you attempt to lock it away?” “It will attempt to lock you away.” “And when you ties to fight it?” “It will try to fight you.” “And when you try to control it?” “It will attempt to control you.”

Jazz finished her sorting and turned to look at Clockwork. “The best way to bring an Entity into your body is to accept it, respect it, and love it, and it will give you the same in return.” They stared at each other silently for a couple minutes, not blinking or breathing.

“I have to bring Lady Life into Danny.” Jazz finally spoke. Clockwork nodded. “But how?” Jazz look to the operating table for a moment, before turning back to Clockwork. “He can’t eat anything….” Clockwork moved to the side, blocking her view of the table. “Remember, Jasmine; ask, explain, thank. Like everyone, Lady Life has many sides. While yes, she can be endlessly cruel, but also deeply loving and compassionate. It all depends on how you treat her.”

Jazz thought for a moment. “So, if I free Lady Life—because that’s what you want me to do, right?” At Clockworks nod she continued, “Right. So, if I free her, and I treat her really nicely and I ask nicely, she’ll bring Danny back?” Clockwork said yes, and Jazz fell silent again. “How do I do it?” She said, her red eyes alight with determination. Clockwork held out his hand, and when she took it—

Both them and Danny were gone

#dp x dc au #dp au #danny phantom au #jazz fenton #infinite realms #clockwork #dp x dc crossover #just a midnight thing

[kkaimmri]

whenever i read batfam fics where tim’s parents are horribly abusive i get so confused?? cuz like i read his og origins and then the new 52 and i don’t remember his parents being like that?

like they were def neglectful and that is a form of abuse but like they didn’t hit him and they def never did some of the HORRIBLE stuff i see people write. i mean his parents weren’t necessarily good but they loved him fs! so where did that come from?? 🤔

#tim drake #batfam #dcu #jason todd #dick grayson #batman #red robin #teen titans #adding tags that aren’t relèvent to the post feels like clickbait ngl #but it’s fun 😋

[skenisasleb]

Oliver Intro Post

TW: There are some references to touchy real-life events. There is also verbal abuse and child neglect. Proceed with caution.

Oliver Ranch is the second South Park OC I have made. I made him originally to ship with my OC, Ted, since I shipped Ted with Kyle before and I realized that may be kiiiiinda cringe. 😭

Now he’s one of my favorites out my SP OCs.

(All forms of him below are ‘episode’ scenarios I have created for him.)

Oliver’s Main Story

He is the firstborn of his three siblings; he has a baby brother, Bryce, and a younger sister, Blair. He cares for the both of them to substitute for his parent’s horrible behavior.

His mother is a overall angry person, probably where Oliver got his own anger issues. She verbally abuses everyone in the family, and gets close to hitting them on the occasion. Oliver’s father is a drunk and spends all his time drinking, watching football on the TV, and falling asleep on the pull-out couch.

Oliver’s Relationships

Oliver is in a relationship with Ted, and even though before he wanted to punt Ted into the street in the beginning, he now is overly protective of Ted and would resort to dangerous measures to protect him. Oliver also allows Ted to call him “Olive.” If anyone else tries to call him this, he will most likely pop them in the mouth.

Oliver absolutely hates Augustus. He has thought about wringing the clown’s neck multiple times; even making up fake scenarios where he could just gut the guy. In secret, Oliver is envious of Augustus’ progress, running a circus all by himself without anyone overlooking him.

Oliver doesn’t really approach Casey and Ernesto. He prefers to keep his circle tight, where the circle only consists of Ted (Ted takes up his whole social battery anyway).

Oliver’s Sub-Plots/‘Episodes’

“Self-Defense”

The government has passed a law, allowing kids in America under the age of 10 to own and carry guns in order to protect themselves. Most kids don’t know what to do with a gun, or don’t know how to work it and end up massacring each other. Oliver, already owning a pistol beforehand (illegally, might I add) and now with the freedom to own as many guns as he wants, he goes absolutely ballistic and joins in the chaos on purpose.

“Come Get My Ass”

Oliver is deathly afraid of the visitors. Everyone in South Park seems to pass it up as just a thing that happens, but Oliver doesn’t want something he doesn’t want up his ass. He has nightmares where he would look in the mirror and see himself as a visitor. He decides that he will try and stop the visitors himself if the people of South Park won’t.

“AI Generated Slavery”

…. If you couldn’t tell, this is a play off of the disasters of the recent Willy Wonka incident. 💀

But this time, the organizer of the event hired children for low pay because his budget dropped from the shipping of the hologram interactive activity that was meant to arrive for the event, but never came. So now the organizer would be charged for MORE heinous crimes :DD

“Phantom of the Soap Opera”

“The Phantom of the Opera,” but make it a soap opera with goofy-ass side characters like the neighbor, Dave Hillis, and Christine’s boss, Junior.

In this case, the Phantom is Oliver, who is a shut-in who practices the piano, and Christine is Ted, who works a casual job at the hardware store.

It’s really just silly goofy stuff.

“Pride Misconseption”

Oliver completely misunderstood what a Pride parade actually is for. He thought it was just a place to be proud of ANYTHING. Therefore, he went to the Pride parade decked out in Scottish flags. People present were pissed and confused at Oliver, accusing him of not taking it seriously and kicking him out of the parade after shaming him. The whole time, Oliver was just confused, never really knowing what the parade was truly for.

“The Mishaps of the Furry and the School Shooter”

Pretty much an ‘episode’ featuring Blackbear and Dire Dune teaming up in order to beat Cartman’s ass, forming a duo that strayed from both Freedom Pals and the C**n and Friends.

Dire Dune is Oliver’s superhero persona; he is an elemental class that controls sand and strives to control the rocks that the grains came from.

Contrary to his actual personality, Dire Dune is a more calm and collected character who shares wisdom instead of spitting harsh truths.

I have made other ‘episode’ ideas, but they’re not as fully developed as the ones I have shared, so I decided not to share them. That’s all for Oliver’s backstory!! Thank you for reading this far!! :DD

#art #fanart #fan #south park #sp #south park fanart #traditional #south #park #pencil #oc #ocs #sp oc #sp ocs #south park oc #south park ocs #south park original character #south park own character #scottish #scotland #oliver #olive #oliver ranch #teddison #ted gafford #gafford #oc reference #reference #intro #oc intro

[neuroticboyfriend]

gentle reminder that gaslighting isn't always an abuser blatantly calling you crazy. they may lecture you about how you're misinterpreting something. they may say something very serious is no big deal. they may get passive aggressive and leave you feeling irrational. or they may get furious at you for being overdramatic without ever directly calling you that.

gaslighting is a form of manipulation, and manipulation is most effective when the victim doesn't even notice it's happening. "you're just insane" is a lot more obvious than "i don't remember that happening, are you sure it wasn't just a bad dream?" and whether it's over or covert, both are horrible. both are dangerous. both are abusive, and oftentimes neglectful.

be careful out there, and know you know yourself best. you are the expert on you - your mind, your body, your life. no one can change that. not even the people who wield so much power over us.

#softspoonie #abuse #abuse tw #gaslighting #trauma #manipulation #abuse survivor #abuse survival #trauma survival #abuse victim #trauma victim #ableism #sanism #gaslighting tw #gaslight #psychological abuse #mental abuse #neglect #ableist language #ableist language cw

[seireitonin]

Any headcanons you have about LJ? I feel like I never see enough about him. 🖤

YES IM IN LOVE WITH HIM!!! He’s so underrated and I could talk about him for hours.

🍭LJ Headcannons!!🍭

(They’re gonna be a bit angsty)

Ever since he was abandoned he has a twisted form of love

Wants to understand love and how humans love each other

It makes no sense to him humans hurt each other all the time in relationships and friendships

Has the darkest sense of humor

LJ, Toby and Jeff will make the most evil vile disgusting jokes you’ve ever heard together

Desperately wishes he could be colorful and happy again

When he was in the box he scratched tally marks into the walls of it

He cried every day too

Hasn’t felt true happiness since he became black and white

Killing was the only time he felt a bit happy or anything at all

He wanted to stop and not be like Issac, the one who made him the way he is

But killing for him was like an addiction

He was constantly chasing the high of his next kill

Ironically it was Toby who helped him stop killing children

Toby had killed children before because of the slendermans influence and knew how horrible it made him feel after

Toby trying his best not to be like his dad who was his abuser and the reason Toby became the way he is now inspired Jack to try harder

Or at least focus his anger and bloodlust in a different direction

Jack wanted to stop being like the man who traumatized him too

So he thought about the bigger picture of everything that happened to him

It wasn’t the child Issac who hurt him it was the adults around Issac that failed him

It was adult Issac that failed Jack

So LJ started killing neglectful/ abusive parents

He doesn’t help the kids after though

Still not a fan of them

Sally helped him change too, even if she doesn’t know it

He would never say it to her

But she did

She hated LJ when they first met and she found out he killed children

“You’re just like my uncle”

“No! I’m nothing like him!”

“How? You kill children just like he killed me”

“I…do it for different reasons! It’s not like that!” He justified it to himself

“What makes you any different than him?!”

“I’m not THAT way!”

“A child killer is a child killer! It’s all the same! You’re a monster just like him!”

This was the first time LJ had felt genuine disgust with himself

To be compared to a man like that…

Made him sick. Like isolated himself and breaking stuff in anger sick

He wasn’t like that. He wasn’t.

He would never do that

LJ knew he was awful. But never in that way

That’s what really made him stop killing children

Couldn’t bare being thought of in that way

He tries to be nicer to Sally

She tried to tolerate him more since he’s changed

If the adults around her protected her like they should have, like they should’ve protected Issac, she’d be happy and normal

So would Jack

He sees Sally as his second chance and redemption

So he’ll protect her like she should’ve been protected while she was alive

LJ helps Sally be more trusting of adults at least of him anyway

They help each other heal from their trauma in a way

When he did kill children he would lock them in dark spaces

He was just giving them a taste of how he felt and what he went through

The betrayal in their eyes as he did it fueled him

He projected his anger and sadness into every kill

It’s why they were so brutal and gory

Now that he kills bad adults they’re even more brutal and gory

He smells like a carnival at night time

Sickeningly sweet foods with the perfect temperature summer air that’s how he smells

Use’s British slang from 1800 still

Had to get used to modern language and talking

Not just for this era but for every era he’s lived through

He’s been alive for 200 years after all

LJ is a Victorian goth!!

Not emo (he gets mad when people call him emo)

Because he believes goth fashion is superior

Dresses fancy and camp af

I mean his daily outfit is literally a feathered Shaw and a crop top

Doesn’t care about human things like gender

So he’ll wear what he wants

You can wear whatever you want when no one can kick your ass

Can pull literally anything out of his pockets

I mean ANYTHING

Has so many magical powers it’s crazy

One of the many benefits of being imaginary ig

He’s very loud

Loves attention on him at all times

Probably because he doesn’t want anyone to forget about him

He’s 7 feet tall

Honestly once you get to know him he’s super fun to be around

Unless you hate loud black and white clowns that tell jokes constantly and love pulling pranks

He actually has a 50/50 of masculine and feminine facial features

To appeal to everyone

Him and Jeff get in fights a lot

Mainly because LJ likes to get under his skin

And it pisses Jeff off that it’s super hard, damn near impossible to hurt LJ

Yay being imaginary!

Being around everyone is the closest he’ll ever be to colorful again

When he’s around everyone his eyes turn from silver to deep blue like when he was colorful

In fact his eyes will go that deep blue whenever he’s feeling deep emotions

I guess one of his old functions of friendship meaning everything to him still exists

Still obnoxious and annoying though

But that’s just LJ

An unpredictable, dangerous, murderous, bloodthirsty clown demon

You gotta love him (I know I do)

#creepypasta #creepypasta hcs #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta fandom #crp #laughing jack #laughing jack headcanons #laughing jack hcs #creepypasta characters #creepypastafluff #creepypasta angst

[bcolfanfic]

You’re never a nuisance dear *hugs*

I can’t imagine how horrible this time is for you and anything we can do to help please let us know. I wanted to send this off anon so you had the option of just responding privately if you wanted, anything is fine with me. Please take care of yourself ❤️

For little headcanons or something, my head has been filled with touch-starved Gale when he and Bucky first meet. Obviously by the time the show starts he’s been having his full of loving Bucky touches but when they first met in training he was coming off years of being alone and neglect/abuse and not a good relationship with touch in general. So many thoughts of how Bucky may or may not realize this and as their relationship develops Gale is struck hard with all this need and aching he didn’t know he had.

you are such a sweetie and i love our talks, thank you <3

and yes yes- i love thinking about when they first met. before i started All Again i started a diff long form/multi chapter fic that would've been centered around that. and who knows, if the fandom is still kicking whenever i finish All Again maybe i'll revisit it! there's an OC in there that gets blue discharged that i do want to come back to...but anyways to your actual prompt.

aw- sweet buck. at the risk of sounding weird that actually reminds me a lot of my dad, who enlisted to get out of a chaotic family situation. he was apparently a scrawny little thing with a baby face- and has told me that the other guys at boot camp used to rib him asking if his mama knew where he was, lol!

re: buck, imagining his sweetie little 25 year old self first meeting bucky makes me want to wail. he was probably quite shy, and here comes bucky in all his loud bucky glory informing him, among other things, that his name is no longer gale cleven. i can def imagine bucky being quite touchy right off the bat, but laying off when he realizes gale is reacting like a startled little deer. it interests him- in that he figures there must be a reason behind it, but he doesn't want to push too hard too soon and mostly leaves it alone. but even when he isn't as touchy with gale he *is* touchy with their other buddies, and gale can't help but watch and wish he didn't react like he did so bucky could pat his face, push him along by the back of his neck and wrap his arms around him from behind like that. he thinks if it was anyone else he'd hate it. but not if it was bucky. and he doesn't quite know what to do with that.

#buck x bucky #clegan