#myffwriting

[howdywrites]

I don’t feel so good (one shot)

**THIS CONTAINS ENDGAME SPOILERS - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!**

Summary: Learning to cope with someone we lost is never easy. Where do we move on from here?

Word Count: 801

Warnings/Disclaimers: I already said it, but I’ll say it again - ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD. Other than that, this is an angst fest I wrote at 3 am immediately after seeing Endgame. I just have a lot of feelings, ok? lol

Read on Ao3

Life slips through his fingers in the blink of an eye.

       For Peter, disappearing on Titan feels like it happened just an hour ago. Now here they are, on Earth. Enemies gone within minutes, fading to ash like memories of time past. He squats in front of Tony’s broken body.        “We won.” Peter watches him slip away, skin burned and eyes glazed. Unfocused. It’s unfair, he only just got back and now it’s his turn to let him go. “Tony, don’t go.” His voice shakes. The tables have turned. For a man to give his life for the sake of humanity - the galaxy - would be considered a noble death. But crouched in front of him, he feels small. Helpless. More like a child than someone on cusp of adulthood.        This can’t be happening. They won the war, but this doesn’t feel like winning. Body aching, stomach churning, the familiar sting of tears in Peter’s eyes becomes too much. They spill from his eyes cutting through dirt and sweat. He loves Tony. He can’t go - not now. There’s still so much to learn. So much to say and do.

Who would help him with his science projects?

Who would help him settle in to his new role in the Avengers?

Who would sit beside Aunt May when he graduates?

Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good.

       Someone touches Peter’s shoulders and pulls him to the side. His body shakes and his very bones rattle with every sob that tears through him. Someone begins to pat his back and tell him everything will be alright; but he knows it will never be the same. Not without Tony. It’s a pain no one his age should have to experience. There isn’t a gadget or gizmo in his suit to make everything better. To bring him back. It eats away at him little by little as Pepper says her goodbyes. It really is over. Tony is gone and the world has gone dark.

Please don’t go, Tony.

       The days pass slower than 5th period. Peter becomes one with his bed, rarely moving and only nibbling at the food Aunt May leaves on his bedside table. His phone rings, buzzing with excitement. Everyone is back home and trying to rebuild, but Peter lets them go to voicemail. He’s tired. He sleeps and mindlessly scrolls through Youtube videos, but all he sees is videos he’s uploaded over the years. Tony’s face prominent in the thumb nails. The pit in his stomach grows until he feels sick and has to get off the internet.        The day of his funeral comes and Aunt May helps Peter dress in a sharp black suit. She smooths out his sleeves with tears glittering in her eyes. Her chin trembles. She tells him she’ll be right there beside him, that they can leave any time he wants to. He manages a tiny smile but refuses to look in the mirror because he knows he looks tired. Before they leave he sees the photo of his… Tony and him giving each other bunny ears.        Driving through the city, Peter wonders if everyone is sharing happy reunions with their loved ones. Perhaps they’re eating breakfast together or playing catch in the backyard. All the while his mind begins to wander back to their reunion just before battling Thanos. Tony embraced him like a prodigal son returning home. It surprised him at first, and now he wants nothing more than to feel that again.

Tony, I don’t feel so good.

       At the cabin, everyone gives Peter pats on the back and sympathetic smiles. They may not know him well, but they know deep down how much Tony meant to him… how much he meant to Tony. He puts on a brave face and holds back tears. He wants to look brave - victorious. Looking ahead, he sees a little girl beside Mrs. Potts. Brunette hair and features that favor the man they mourn. Pepper stoops down and sends off a bundle of flowers. Something stirs within the shattered spider-kid. No one told him Mr. Stark had a child. It never dawned on him that in the five years he was gone that Tony had started a new life, and a happy one at that.        The child looks over her shoulder at him, curious eyes studying him. He’s seen the same look in her father’s eyes. Peter offers her a small smile and a tiny wave. Emotion crashes over him. A flame lights beneath him, banishing the darkness that took hold of him the day Tony died. This little girl is the future. Tony’s future. He vows to himself that come hell or high water, he will protect her so that her father’s spark will live on. He will be her brother.

Dad… I’ll take it from here.

#avengers endgame #avengers endgame spoilers #spoilers #myffwriting #angst #fanfiction #fanfic #Endgame #endgame spoilers #tony stark #peter parker #spiderman #pepper potts #morgan stark #aunt may #may parker #avengers spoiler #avengers spoilers #endgame spoiler #peter parker fanfic #tony stark fanfic #tony stark fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #avengers fanfic #endgame fanfic #endgame fanfiction

[howdywrites]

Girlfriend (Vanya One Shot)

[ Read part 1 here ]

Summary:  Vanya visits a friend's (female OC/Reader Insert) house in the pouring rain and gets some soft loving.

Word Count: 1,233

Warnings/Disclaimers: Light cursing and slight suggestive content. Please excuse the formatting, I had a lot of issues with this for some reason.

Read on Ao3

     “Are you trying to catch a cold?” Kat chaffed, grabbing Vanya by the arms and guiding her inside. Wet brown hair stuck to the woman’s pale face. Teeth chattered. Her blue shirt stuck to her skin. “Why were you walking in the rain, doll?” The tall woman ushered her to her bedroom as quick as she could, trailing water all throughout the beat up apartment she lived in. 

     “I need… I needed....” Vanya stuttered, chilled to the bone and absolutely numb. The exposed pipes overhead groaned, joining the chorus of thunder and sheets of rain battering the windows. Kat’s room was filled with her personality. A neatly made bed, posters lining the brick wall across from it, and some knick knacks and things she collected over the course of her life. While she dug through her dresser, Vanya quirked a brow and pointed to a stuffed platypus doll lying limp on top of her lamp. “You kept him?”

     “Hm..? Of course I kept him, silly, you won him for me.”

     “I just didn’t think…”

     “I complained about not winning that silly thing from Tom’s diner for weeks. Now I can brag to my friends that Vanya Hargreeves, claw machine champion, won Doug for me.” Kat laughed, bringing over clothes of her own for her unofficial girlfriend. An old volleyball t-shirt from highschool and some oversized sweats. 

     “Doug?” Vanya coughed a laugh, too busy shivering to do much else. 

     “Get changed, and then we can talk some more.”

     Vanya came padding out moments later. The clothes were oversized on the statuesque Katherine, but on her they swallowed her whole. Kat stifled a laugh, enjoying the sight of the usually neat woman in her old clothes. The brick and concrete room warmed with Vanya’s smile. “Come’ere.” She patted the free space on the couch beside her crossed legs.

     “I don’t think I’ve ever looked better,” Vanya murmured, curling up in the corner of the couch as if she could disappear inside of it. 

     “You kidding? You could be a supermodel - the wet hair look is in, you know.” Kat draped an arm over the back of the couch, running an index through some loose hair and tucking it behind her ear. “What’s going on? You know I would have picked you up, I’m just a phone call away-”

     “I know-” Vanya shook her head, swallowing hard. “I know. I just needed to get out and clear my head. Everything’s been… fuzzy. Out of focus.” Eyes wandered around the small living space and kitchenette they sat in, noticing the Sugar O’s sitting on the counter beside a fresh bowl and unused spoon. Fingers brushed against her scalp and she let out a soft sigh. Since their first date, little touches here and there became commonplace. Sometimes she would shy away, other times she drank it in until she nearly drowned. “If I’m honest, I don’t really want to talk about it.” 

     “You don’t have to. What do you want to do instead?” Kat smoothed out the wrinkled shoulder of the old t-shirt with a smile. Vanya perked up.

     “Dinner?”

                                                            //

     Neither could agree on what to get. The pair sat on the floor among their half finished feast of pizza, Thai and whatever sweet they could find stashed away in Katherine’s cupboards. Vanya, now with dry hair and a bright smile on her face, laughed behind a hand to hide the food she was still working on.

     “I swear to god,” Kat cackled, rooting around between noodles with her chopsticks to find the coveted last piece of grilled chicken. “That asshole deserved it, and I would break my wrist all over again to punch him in the face one more time.” Glancing up from the noodles, Kat watched as Vanya gazed at nothing in particular. Lost in her thoughts as usual. “Aha!” Gripping the generous piece of meat, she held it up in the air like a gold medal.

     “Hey, you said I could have the last piece,” Vanya laughed, coming back down to earth. Kat smirked and leaned back. 

      “Oh you can have it-” She jerked her chopsticks away when Vanya reached for it with her own. “If you can manage to get it from me.”

     “That’s hardly a fair fight - you’re an athlete.” Kat raised her brows and teased her by dangling it just in between them. 

     Vanya leapt, taking the taller woman by surprise. They found themselves strewn on the old rug that she had undoubtedly found on the side of the road and fixed up to her liking. Kat wrapped an arm around the smaller woman’s middle, locking her into an embrace as they both rolled and laughed. Vanya craned her neck, half heartedly trying for the food. More than anything, being this close to Katherine with bodies pressed firmly together like a lover’s tango sent heat rushing to her cheeks. It had been a while since she was held like that. Even if it was just playful banter. A huge step for the shut off Vanya nonetheless.

     A hand reached up to grab the other end of Kat’s chopsticks, sending the chicken sliver flying across the room. It bounced a couple of times before landing unceremoniously beside the trash can. Vanya and Kat watched, mouths agape. Laughter erupted, filling the industrial space with their combined joy. Another arm found its way around the smaller of the two and they laid there side by side. Neither of them broke apart. Humor remained in their eyes as the giggles died down. The realization began to dawn on them. Bodies touching, sharing warmth, both aware of how the lights above made the other’s sparkle.

     Vanya lifted herself on and elbow, looking down at Kat. For once the vivacious Katherine had nothing to say. The room became so quiet they were sure their drumming heartbeats could be heard by the other. A hesitant hand moved to cup the blonde’s jaw, a thumb brushing by her cheek. Strands of brown hair hung around Vanya’s face and for a moment Kat was sure she would pull away and retreat back into her shell.

     The world melted away as soft lips pressed together. Languid hands searched for purchase. Not even the roar of thunder or shuddering of windows could tear them apart. A melody of soft breaths and gasps lingered in the air between them. Katherine found warm bare skin beneath the old volleyball shirt and her fingers trailed the dip along Vanya’s spine. The brunette paused then, lips still touching and eyes opening to look down at her dearest friend. Their chests rose and fell rapidly, neither used to the electrifying touch. Kat gave a quiet groan when Vanya chose to continue. Kisses became hungry and desperate for more. Messy and natural. Katherine was everything Vanya could have ever wanted in a partner and more. 

  Warmth. Comfort. Home.

     “You know,” Kat whispered, pulling away for just a moment. She sat up, arms still wrapped around the woman in her lap. “I don’t think I’ve asked you to be my girlfriend yet.” Vanya pressed her lips together in a smile, a wave of emotion crashing over her.

     “Well, I mean, I didn’t ask you either,” She replied sheepishly. With eyes locked on one another, Kat released her to tenderly cup her face.

     “Vanya Hargreeves… will you be my girlfriend?” A tear streaked down Vanya’s face, her chin quivering.

“Yes.”

#myffwriting #the umbrella academy #tua #vanya hargreeves #one shot #vanya needs a hug #tua vanya #fluff #fanfic #tua fanfic

[howdywrites]

Cotton Candy (Vanya/Female OC)

Summary: Vanya Hargreeves goes on a date with a friend (Female OC/Reader Insert) because it’s what she deserves. One Shot. Sweet and simple!

Word Count: 2,074

Warnings/Disclaimers: None except maybe some angst. As far as disclaimers go, I tried to make Katherine kind of ambiguous but it didn’t work out the way I hoped. Also, this is my first time posting any of my work online lol so I’m terrified.

Read on Ao3

They spent months as friends giving each other lingering gazes. Wondering if there could be more between them. Inching closer each time they hung out. Late night talks on park benches. Splitting off from the others when Vanya became overwhelmed. It was a matter of time before one of them cracked and asked the other on a date. Tonight would be the first time they hung out as possibly more than friends. She had put it off for weeks now, but the ever patient friend waited for her, not caring if it took years for her to accept the offer.

And the night finally came.

   Vanya stood in front of her mirror with a smile askew on her face. The hot pink dress Allison gave her years ago hung on her like an old woman’s drapes. No. Absolutely not.

   Tearing off the garment and discarding it over the back of the couch, she slipped back into her jeans and oversized button up. It wasn’t flashy or cute, but it was her and she could breathe again. Worried thoughts spiraled inside her head, prompting her to take the pill bottle from her pocket and dumping one into her hand. The water bottle in her hand shook.

   The rev of a motorcycle brought her back to reality. Or maybe it was the medicine. Some days it was impossible to tell. Fussing with her hair, she eventually gave up and left it down. Wallet, phone, keys. Her heart beat wildly in her chest as she skipped out the door - nearly forgetting to lock it - and all but stumbled over her feet going down the stairs. In the foyer of her building, she paced around. Did she remember to brush her teeth? Would she be upset she didn’t put more effort into her outfit? As if standing at the end of a high dive, Vanya Hargreeves knew she couldn’t wait all night. She had to take the plunge.

Pushing open the door and bolting out, she came face to face with-

“Katherine, hey,” Vanya greeted, finding it hard to breathe.

   Blonde hair glittered in the sunlight as her date turned around. A bright smile painted her lips. She adjusted her black leather jacket and strode over towards her. Vanya had to tilt her head up to look up at her. She mirrored her smile as butterflies tickled her stomach.

“Hey, doll,” She said, leaning down to kiss the shorter woman on the head. One of her index fingers touched the bottom of her chin with a coy smile. “You can call me Kat, Vanya. Here-” She lifted her free hand to show her a brand new helmet. “I’ve never had someone ride with me before - so I’m not risking anything.”

   Vanya shoved her head inside the dark blue helmet and felt its weight when she let go. Kat rapped her gloved knuckles on the top with a pleased smile. “How do I look?” She asked, looking up at her date.

“Badass. And safe.”

   It took a bit of maneuvering for Vanya to get onto the back of the motorcycle. Its sleek black frame made it slippery and she was held her breath when a helmeted Katherine got on in front of her. They were nearly pressed into one another. Her friend looked over her shoulder at the way Vanya leaned away from her and chuckled.

“You can touch me, I don’t bite. Much.” Heat bloomed in her masked cheeks. The headgear came in handy in more ways than one. Sheepishly, Vanya leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Kat’s middle. If there weren’t layers of clothes between them, she swore the woman would have felt her heart drumming away behind her ribs. The motorcycle roared to life and they took off in a flurry of wind.

   Thrill struck like a shock of lightning. Hair whipped behind her as the rush of adrenaline trickled into her veins. So this is what it was like to feel? If only Allison could see her then. None of her siblings knew that she had finally stepped outside her comfort zone - not that they would care anyway. Vanya shoved her family deep into the back of her mind, snuffing out the weary glances and pursed lips from the last time she spoke with them. She laughed over the wind, arms squeezing tighter and catching the attention of Katherine.

   Smiling under her helmet, a hand reached and rested on Vanya’s thigh when they stopped for a red light. She flinched instinctively. “Having fun back there?” Kat asked over the rumbling of cars.

“I think this is the most free I’ve felt in years,” Vanya admitted, cheeks hurting from smiling so much.

                                                      ///

   When they arrived at the fair, the sun hung low behind buildings and vendor tents. Rainbow lights flickered and buzzed in time with the cheesy pop music lazily playing over the drone of laughter and chatter. Side by side, Katherine and Vanya entered the fair and took in the salty scent of fresh popcorn and pretzels. The leather clad woman paid for a handful of tickets, despite the insistence and near begging of the other.

“What do you feel like doing first?” Kat asked, peering down at her. Free from gloves, her bare fingers idly pushed a few strands of loose brown hair out of her face. Vanya froze and shuffled her feet around the grave beneath them. Rubbing the back of her neck, she began to stammer.

“I mean...we can do what you want to do first - you did suggest the fair,” She looked around, a thin smile stretched across her face. Eyes landed on the pirate ship heaving back and forth. Kathrine quirked a brow and followed her gaze to the ride.

“You always want to do what I want to do, Vanya. Tonight we’re doing what you want.” Long legs took off towards the pirate ship, hands shoved in the pockets of her leather jacket. She stopped and looked at the wide eyed woman still standing where she left her, a reassuring look dancing in her eyes. “Well? Are you coming or should I carry you? My nephews say I give the best piggy back rides.”

   Vanya shook her head, laughing bashfully and half jogged to catch up to her. They squeezed themselves into a back row of seats. Sandwiched between Katherine and the side of the ship, an arm draped over the back of their seat, just over her shoulders.

“I’ve got you,” Kat teased. “Wouldn’t want you to fall… like that spill you had on the ice a few months ago.” Vanya scoffed playfully, arms wrapped around herself.

“It was dark! How was I supposed to know they didn’t salt the sidewalks yet.”

   Their fond banter continued for a short while before the ship began to groan and jerk them around. Stomachs flipped and both women squealed with laughter each time the ride rose and fell. Vanya curled into Katherine without thinking, not that the other woman would mind. Legs turned to jello as they stumbled off at the end, holding on to the railings as their world swayed.

“Remember that time you had too many moscow mules?” Vanya howled, wiping away the gleeful tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. “And I had to convince you that we weren’t on a boat and you weren’t Captain Jack Sparrow?”

“I remember that night differently - I was in fact Jack Sparrow, and we were on a boat.”

“Kat, we were at Olive Garden.”

   The pair walked around the fair, talking about anything and nothing all at the same time. Katherine watched Vanya’s face, content to listen to her enthuse about what pieces she had learned recently and where she would be performing next. The fair was a dicey choice. The two tended to gravitate towards quiet cafes and parks. But the woman’s eyes shined brighter than she had ever seen them shine. Vanya rarely relaxed like that and Katherine had a front row seat, left to wonder if she knew just how intelligent, wonderful and extraordinary she truly was.

   The sun finally disappeared and the moon came out to play. Lit only by the string lights and neon bulbs, the fair set the mood. No more worries. No sense of impending doom. Just Katherine. Vanya requested the ferris wheel next to watch the moonlight glitter on the water just off the pier.

   Like the motorcycle, the narrow seats on the ride squished the two of them together. Arms and shoulders touched, jean-clad knees brushed against one another. On the outskirts of the fair, the screams and metallic clank of machinery became distant background noise. Vanya became hyper aware of how close they were. How Katherine’s hands twitched, mindlessly scratching phantom itches. She herself fidgeted. For the first time, they were quiet. One by one, the seats filled, lifting them higher and higher into the air. A gentle, salty breeze brushed past them. They watched the water shimmer. Waiting.

   A pinky finger brushed the side of Vanya’s hand. Her eyes dropped and noticed Kat had inched her hand over until it rested on the edge of her thigh. Without a word, heartbeat drumming in her ears, she nestled her hand beneath hers. Neither of them breathed or acknowledged the fact that their hands were interlaced, but both of them relished the simple touch.

   The rest of the ride was a blur. They murmured compliments to the ocean and the mysteries she stored beneath her mirrored surface. Emotion swelled in Vanya’s chest like the crescendo of a Tchaikovsky concerto. Comfortable. Safe. Two things she never thought she would have and she found them in Katherine. As they stepped off, their hands stayed glued together as neither of them wanted to break apart.

“Oh wow,” Vanya marveled, pulling them to a stop. A woman in a pink pinstripe apron stood behind a machine with cotton candy swirling around the cone she held inside. The blue fluff billowed until it made an unholy mound of sugar that sat precariously on top of its paper home. “I haven’t had cotton candy in years.” Katherine, smirking a bit, pulled away from her and immediately pulled out her beat up wallet. Vanya followed hot on her heels.

“Hey, you paid for tickets, I’ll pay for-”

“Pink or blue?” Kat asked, already forking over the small wad of ones to the vendor. “You deserve to be spoiled after all my pestering.” Vanya sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Blue.”

   With a sugar cloud bigger than their heads, they found a corner of the fair no one occupied. Old wood creaked as they stepped onto the edge of the pier, leaning against the railing. Cotton melted in their mouths. While Vanya meticulously picked at her side, Kat devoured her like a starving lioness. She paused her feast and let a few fingers trail over her shoulder. The shorter woman didn’t flinch, though she did attempt to hid the color in her cheeks by looking out over the ocean.

“You’re stunning, Vanya,” Kat spoke, voice low and gentle. “And extraordinary.”

“Stop,” Vanya laughed, shaking her head and letting the wind carry her hair back out of her face. Pain lingered in her eyes and she no longer smiled. Kat shifted, standing up straighter and shuffling closer. This was the side of her that she saw in those empty parks. A woman carrying guilt and shame, shutting people out as soon as they start to get closer. Yet so desperate for love and human touch.

“Vanya.”

“No, Kat-” Vanya stumbled over her words, flustered and doubting herself. “I’m just… normal. I can’t even make it to first chair. My family…”

“Maybe you’re not extraordinary-” Kat moved to stand in front of her, tender eyes studying her face. A hand laced fingers with Vanya’s sticky blue ones. Wet eyes flit around before dragging themselves up to look at her. “To them. But to me you are. I would watch you play for days if I could. Let you talk until your voice is gone. I adore you, Vanya Hargreeves. Absolutely adore you.”    Soft lips pressed into Vanya’s, capturing her before she could refute. She tasted sweet like candy. Slowly, Vanya let her eyes slip closed. Cotton candy fell from her hand as she pressed herself into Katherine. Even if this one woman thought she was enough… then perhaps that was all she needed to start believing it herself.

#the umbrella academy #vanya hargreeves #one shot #vanya hargreeves pairing #myffwriting #vanya needs a hug #tua #tua vanya #fanfic #fluff #tua fanfic