#my therapist says i'm in love but it's been two weeks like.. this is not love island

[heavenknowsffs]

Hot men all use the same perfume istg

#this uber driver has the same perfume as the guy i'm talking to #and it just reminds me of him and i want to cuddle when i go to sleep #but he has to work tomorrow so he already went home and it's 5 am and i'm thinking about him???? #my therapist says i'm in love but it's been two weeks like.. this is not love island #i need to take a chill pill and not think about it and just take it fucking slow

[roosterforme]

Gonna Make You Sweat | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley is determined to get back in peak physical condition, but you are more of a distraction than he anticipated.

Warnings: Fluff and smut

Length: 2000 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots! (But it can be read on its own) Check my masterlist in my profile for the reading order!

Bradley had finally graduated from physical therapy, and while he had regained full use of his left arm, the scarring was still very much present. He hated the way it looked, but there wasn't much he could do about it. 

But what he could do, was get himself back in top shape before he married you. His physical therapist had given him the green light to work out as much as he wanted to, and he decided to buy a weight bench for the garage. 

"We don't really even use the garage, and this way we can have a home gym," he told you as he ordered everything online from his spot on the couch. 

You climbed into his lap and took his phone out of his hand. "Promise me you aren't doing this because you think you need to, Bradley. You're very physically healthy already. You go for a run most days, and I feed you very well."

Bradley examined your face. "Don't you miss my abs, Baby Girl?"

You just shrugged against his chest and ran your fingers under his shirt and across his belly button. "They were nice. This is nice, too. And I'm going to absolutely love it when you have a dad bod someday," you said, biting your lip and moaning. 

Just hearing you say the word dad had his dick signaling that it was time to be inside you, and that moan had him pushing you down onto the couch. 

"A dad bod, you say? As soon as you want that to happen, you just let me know, Sweetheart," he said, yanking your shorts off as you stroked him through his jeans. You giggled as he kissed your engagement ring and slid inside you. 

-------------------------------------

The gym arrived two weeks before Labor Day in what seemed like a million delivery boxes filled with pieces that needed to be assembled. Bradley coaxed you out to the garage one evening after work to help him put it together, but you weren't much help at all.

"Let's go to bed," you whined over and over again, crawling into his lap where he sat on the floor. "I like your body the way it is. You don't even need a gym."

He just chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. "Well, I just spent thousands of dollars on it, so it's staying. Need to look good for our wedding," he said, kissing your hair. "Besides, Jake has been acting weird, and everyone thinks he has a new girlfriend. I want to look better than him again so you can gloat to his girl next time we go to the beach."

You rolled your eyes so hard, Bradley had to laugh. "If Jake was seeing someone, I would know about it."

Bradley narrowed his eyes. "How?"

"Because we have girl talk all the time," you said as you nestled against his neck and rubbed your hand on his belly.

"You and Jake... have girl talk?"

"Yeah, he tells me stuff that happens and I let him know how he fucked up. I'd like to say I'm his guru," you said seriously, making Bradley laugh. 

"Well he certainly needs one. Help me put the last part together so we can go to bed," he said with a yawn. 

When he stepped back and inspected it, everything looked perfect. And when he started using it the following day, he was happy with his purchase. In fact, he ended up in the garage for an hour every night after he finished cleaning the kitchen from your dinner preparations. 

He'd been listening to the gym playlist you made for him and really getting back into the groove of things. His arm was giving him no pain now, and he was working himself slowly up to heavier weights.

"Looking sexy, Roo," you told him when you poked your head in, raking your gaze over his body. "All hot and sweaty."

Bradley sat up on the bench and patted his thigh with his gloved hand. "Wanna join me while I take a little break," he asked you innocently. 

Your lips parted and your nostrils flared, and Bradley was curious about what you would do. You were supposed to be going out for drinks with your colleagues and your boss to celebrate Bickel's upcoming promotion. But he knew you hated being late to anything work related, even a happy hour. 

Bradley watched you hesitate, your hands grasping the fabric of your dress where it sat against your thighs. "No!" you said suddenly. "I know how you are, and you do this to me all the time!"

"Do what?" he asked, cocking his head like he had no idea what you were talking about.

You sighed. "You make me late for everything, Bradley. Flaunting your appeal right in front of me. But not today, sir!" you said, spinning on your heel. A few minutes later, he heard your car start, and he returned to his workout with a big grin. 

--------------------------------

Bradley checked himself in the bathroom mirror before he pulled on an old tee shirt for working out. Just a week later, and he was already feeling better. He jogged through the house and let Tramp out into the back yard as he headed for the garage. He could probably squeeze a quick workout in before he needed to shower to leave for the airport. 

He turned on his playlist and got to work, singing along to everything and completely losing track of time. 

"Bradley! I thought you would be in the shower by now!" you said when you strolled into the garage. 

He set his barbell down and turned to face you. "What time is it?"

"Their flight lands in an hour," you told him, strolling closer. You were wearing one of those romper things he both loved and hated. They looked cute, but they were annoying to take off. 

He licked his lips, tasting his own sweat there, and when you got close enough he reached out and grabbed your hand. "We've got time," he said, his voice deep and raspy. 

"Roo," you cautioned, pressing your lips together, but he was already pulling you down to sit on his thigh where he was straddling the bench. "You look good," you whispered, and he grabbed your chin, kissing you hard. 

"Do I?" he asked between kisses. 

"Mmhmm," you hummed. But you were already moaning softly, turning to face him a little more and running your hands up and down his sweaty biceps. He watched you pull away from his mouth, your tongue darting out to taste the sweat that trickled down his cheek. 

Bradley could feel his balls tighten as you pulled your tongue back into your mouth before licking your lips. "You always look good," you added, pulling his shirt off and running your fingers along his flat tummy while you kissed and licked his neck. 

After he made sure all of the weights were locked in place, he turned back to you, tipping you down until you were laying on your back on the bench one leg over each side. "You always look perfect," he whispered, unbuttoning your romper and guiding it carefully down your body, watching you lift your hips so he could remove it. You had skipped a bra, something he was wild about, and he hummed against your skin as he kissed your breasts.

"I wasn't kidding though," you gasped. "I liked your little belly. The precursor to the dad bod looked hot on you."

Bradley wrenched your underwear off and planted kiss after kiss on your pussy as he eased his gym shorts and boxer briefs just low enough to get his dick free. The bench was narrow, and there wasn't a lot of room to work with, but he managed to get himself in a good position to slip into your wet slit. 

"Oh," you gasped, reaching for his shoulders as he leaned over you. 

"Listen, Baby Girl. Whenever you wanna make me a daddy, you just let me know," he told you, moving in a steady rhythm inside you as he planted his hands on your hips for leverage. "I'll give up the abs to spend my time changing diapers instead."

"Oh!" you whined louder, biting your lip. Bradley leaned down to kiss you, and he watched a drop of his sweat land next to your mouth. He was mesmerized by your tongue darting out to taste it.

"Oh fuck, Sweetheart. I'm ready to be a daddy when you want me to be," he promised running his thumbs in soft circles along your pelvic bones as he fucked you a little harder.

"You're already my Daddy," you whispered, and Bradley thought his brain must have shut down. 

His movements came stuttering to a halt just as you started whining for more. And when you looked up at him, your eyes absolutely pleading for him to keep going, you once again whispered, "Daddy?"

Bradley slowly withdrew his dick and slammed himself back into you, never taking his eyes off yours. "Oh!" you gasped. "So you like it when I call you that?"

"Say it again," he growled loudly, fucking into you so hard, the bench moved a few inches across the floor as your tits bounced wildly. He watched your eyes roll back as you moaned Daddy a little louder. 

"Don't stop," he demanded, giving you everything he had left. 

"I won't, Daddy," you cried out. 

Bradley had no idea he would like this so much, but in fact, he fucking loved it. Now he was grabbing your waist so hard, he saw tears in your eyes as you chanted, "DAD-DY! DAD-DY! DAD-DY!" Each syllable you moaned matched perfectly with each thrust he landed.

He came so hard, his teeth were chattering. You were whimpering beneath him, completely disheveled with smeared makeup as you whined and squeezed every drop from his cock. Bradley withdrew himself from you and finger fucked his cum back inside. He leaned over you, teasing your swollen clit and working his semen into you until you were literally crying.

Then he kissed your tears away, his fingers still rammed deep inside your pussy. "Daddy loves you," he promised, as you tried to catch your breath. "You're Daddy's Baby Girl."

-----------------------------------

Bradley drove the Bronco to the San Diego International Airport with an enormous smile on his face. You had your left hand laced with his right, and he was slowly spinning your engagement ring around your finger while he drove. You had your head resting against his bicep while you selected songs from one of your playlists. 

His enormous smile still remained as he parked and helped you out, walking you to the terminal with his arm wrapped around your waist. Your romper was a wrinkly mess, and you still had a small smudge of mascara below your eye, and he knew your pussy was filled with his cum. He fucking loved you.

Sex in the garage had made you late, and your parents were already waiting next to the baggage carousel when the two of you arrived. 

"Oh, honey! Show me your ring!" your mom called as soon as she saw you. Bradley let you out of his grasp as you went to hug them both, and he smiled, because he knew how lucky you were to have both parents here.

Then he almost choked as he heard you greet them, "Mom! Daddy! I missed you."

Bradley shook hands with your father, but he was barely able to make eye contact with him. This was going to be a very long weekend. 

------------------------------

Oh, Baby Girl, he loved that so much! Well, stay tuned for A Love You Don't Find Everyday...there will be more of Baby Girl and Daddy Roo and their next adventure!

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#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster x you #rooster x female reader #rooster x reader #top gun fanfiction #bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw imagine #rooster fanfic #rooster bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw fanfiction

[nuttytani]

Reacting to you playing otome games

characters: dan heng and jing yuan

tw: none except- maybe not proof read?

a/n: i guess we can officially say i'm obsessed with hsr now. my brain has been annoying me to write something for these two boys, and... i guess here we are.

Dan Heng

From all the world-saving and stellaron crisis, Dan Heng wasn’t able to spend much time with you, much to his dismay. Yes, he’d share a few text messages once in a while or even call each other, but those days were getting rarer as his work became even more serious.

On one of those rare calls, he found out that you took on a new interest. “Otome games”, or so they were called. He had little knowledge about it other than knowing that it was a type of dating simulation.

He had no issues with you and your new obsession after all, it’s just a game, and you were having fun!

Or so he thought until your love with these otome games became a little too much to the point of interfering with HIS love life. Why is his cuddle time with you being taken away by some- chunk of hot pixels? Instead of your hands wrapping around his waist, they now held your phone as you giggled at that….undeniable hot chunk of pixels. (According to you, it looked a lot like him and had a similar vibe)

You even had alarms set for your daily activities for these games, which had you scrambling for your phone; all the time. Your eyes would light up at whatever dialogues your "husbando" would say. 

Internally he would be screaming; "WHY WON'T YOU LOOK AT ME THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THOSE DARN 2D MEN"

Enough was enough! Dan Heng realised that at this rate, he would be ousted from being your boyfriend by a fictional character!

 Soon enough, that's how you found yourself on the floor, with Dan Heng behind you, caging you between his arms. 

Dan Heng grumbled, "It's my turn now. Pay attention to me," while avoiding direct eye contact with you.

"Oh no, have I made my boyfriend feel neglected? I'm sorry babe!" You turned to give a reassuring pat on his head, then jokingly added, "Though I suppose... You will need to learn how to share me from now on."

You receive a smack on the head at that

Jing Yuan 

Lately, he had noticed a hype around Luofu, which he soon found out, thanks to Yanqing. According to the young boy, certain “otome games” were becoming quite popular amongst the newer generation. Something about conversing with “hot 2D men with crazy backstories” made them feel “ooh la la”. Or something along those lines, Yanqing’s exact words, not his. 

“It’s actually super fun! Would you like to play as well? You get daily 5 tickets in a day, so it keeps you on your toes. And if I'm not wrong, there's even a character who resembles you, general!”

Jing Yuan declined and suggested the young lad seek someone else for his otome games, as he deemed himself too old and out of touch for such interests. He glanced up from his paperwork to find the boy giving him a disappointed look before quickly running off.

A few days after that incident, you had also fallen prey to these games, he figured as Jing Yuan listened to you talk excitedly about a "mysterious therapist with silver hair" from a newly released game, and how the character was both sweet and suspicious.

He was glad that you were enjoying yourself. Sometimes, it can be challenging to discover new interests as we grow older. At least, that was how Jing Yuan personally felt. 

As long as no harm was done, all is good!

Harm was indeed done. A lot in fact

He eventually discovered that these "ikemen" characters on your phone were taking his rightful place as your boyfriend. 

You no longer played with his hair or let him sleep on your lap… All these activities were taken away from him as if snatching candy from a baby.

It had only been a week into your... newfound obsession. You even bought a bunch of “Visual Novels” and spent many hours holed up in your room, and staying awake late into the night.

When he got concerened as asked for you to come to bed, all he'd get was: "Just five more minutes Jun-Jun! I need to complete this chapter, I swear I'll be there in five minutes, trust me."

Hmmm, nope, trust shattered and heart also shattered. Poor Jun-Jun.

It really made him feel sad, Jing Yuan’s signature :3 face soon turned :( which everyone noticed, it was hard not to. Even you thought his new behaviour to be strange and confronted him.

“My dear, I don’t mind you having hobbies, but please, give equal love and attention to your partner and not just those fictional “silver haired therapist” of yours.” Jing Yuan pleaded you with those puppy dog eyes.

“You should have said so from the beginning! I’ll tone my playing down a little. I didn’t mean to make you feel lonely…” You felt guilty and gave him a big warm hug, much to Jing Yuan’s pleasure.

“....How about a compromise?Let's both play these games together. Pretty please? At least once? You won't regret it! We can add each other as friends.”

He gave in. 

And now he’s obsessed with it.

Much more than you. 

honkai star rail taglist: none at the moment, but if you're interested, I can make one!

#hsr x reader #honkai star rail #dan heng #dan heng x reader #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #star rail #honkai star rail x reader #dan heng x y/n #jing yuan x y/n #jing yuan x you #dan heng x you #hsr #tani writes!!

[writingforstraykids]

I owe you a kiss - Pt.8

Pairing: Minchan x femReader (mention of Changlix)

Word Count: 3478

Summary: Three weeks later, you're still feeling left out. Your therapist suggests communicating your worries to your husbands, but this doesn't go as planned.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, angst, therapy, verbal fight, anxious!chan, min gets defensive

A/N: After part seven I thought I'd be done with one part more tops...well. Once more, there'll be another chapter after this. Ideas/wishes are always welcome, I'll see what I can include🤭🖤

PART SEVEN | PART NINE

Three weeks later 

“And you still don't want your husbands there for the appointments?” your therapist asks kindly. She has been for weeks now. 

“No,” you shake your head firmly. 

“May I ask why?” she asks patiently. 

“Minho has a lot to deal with on his own because he remembers…also, he hates hospitals,” you start and nervously fidget with your hands. “Chan is…different.”

“Different, how?” she responds with another question. 

“Distant is the wrong expression by now. He's trying to show me how much he loves me, but I can tell when he gets overwhelmed. He's still figuring things out, finding his place back home,” you tell, and she nods along, taking some notes. “I just…It's not all bad. He gets enough sleep now, makes sure to eat enough, and takes care of himself. It's just so different from what I remember.”

“And Minho? Is he getting the help he needs?” she asks. 

“Yes, he sees his therapist every two weeks. Weekly, if it's really bad, she always manages to squeeze him in,” you tell her. “He tries to hide it, but he still has nightmares. He's able to drive again if he has to, but he gets anxious easily.”

“And where does that leave you?” she asks patiently, nodding at the wooden board between the two of you. There's a figure for Chan and another for Minho, standing close next to each other. Behind them are several smaller figures in darker colors, symbolizing their fears and struggles. And there's you. Yours is smaller than theirs, standing further away as if you're facing them. 

“Alone,” you say, swallowing hard as you notice the distance between the figures. You hadn't thought much about it putting them there but they're painting a clear picture. 

“Are you?” she asks gently. 

“Sometimes,” you nod. “I don't feel like it when I'm alone with one of them. But if it's all three of us…I feel like they don't need me,” you say and subconsciously fondle the tiny head of the figure behind you, symbolizing your negative thoughts. 

“Do you want to change something?” she asks, picking up on it, and you set it between yours and the ones of your husbands. “Add anything?”

“I'm scared of losing them,” you say, and she nods at you, letting you choose another one. You put it next to the one you just moved. 

“May I comment on something?” she asks, and you nod. “You put your husband's fears and struggles behind them. But yours are in front of you, forming a wall between you all. Why's that?”

“Uh…because they've communicated theirs openly with me and are working on them. I didn't tell them I'm scared to lose them or all of the other thoughts running through my head,” you admit. 

“Mhm, so theirs are out in the open…why aren't yours?” she asks patiently, and you drop back into the comfortable chair. 

“I don't know,” you confess. “Maybe because I feel like I can't put more on their shoulders.”

“What happened when Chan told you he's scared to push your boundaries? What happened when Minho panicked?” she asks, flashing you a kind smile. 

“I comforted them, told them it's okay,” you say quietly. 

“And what makes you fear they wouldn't do the same with you?” she asks, making you lower your head a little embarrassed. 

“I don't know,” you admit quietly, feeling tears burn in your eyes. “I should tell them, right?”

She hums gently. “Communication seems to be very important to keep your relationship intact as you're all dealing with certain things.”

-

You're exhausted after your session, but you know you'd have to open up more about your own fears. You follow her outside into the waiting area to pay and frown as you see Chan talking to the receptionist. “Channie?” you ask, confused, and he looks up with a soft smile. 

“Hey, baby girl,” he says sweetly. “I thought I'd come pick you up, I finished early today.”

“Oh,” you nod and open your handbag to get your wallet. Chan introduces himself to your therapist, a warm smile brightening up his gorgeous face. You take out your card, and Chan gently shoves it back inside. 

“Already handled,” he tells you. 

“What? Channie, I had to pay for the whole month today,” you protest. 

“I know,” he nods and gently zips your handbag closed. “It's fine.”

“Thank you,” you nod gently, smiling as his hand finds yours. 

“You got everything?” he asks, and after you nod, you two say goodbye. Once you're in the elevator, Chan pulls you into a strong hug and kisses your hair. “You look like you've been crying. Rough one?” he asks caringly. 

“Yeah,” you nod, burying yourself in his warmth. “Thank you for picking me up, Channie angel.”

“Of course,” he tells you, rubbing your back. 

As you lean into Chan's embrace, you're reminded of the session's revelations. His warmth is reassuring, and it pushes against the shadows of your own unspoken fears. You wonder how to begin sharing them with him, how to bridge the gap that your silence had unknowingly broadened. "I have a lot on my mind," you finally say, your voice muffled against his coat.

Chan's response is soft, filled with his sweet patience. "I'm here whenever you're ready to talk," he assures you, his hand steady on your back. The simplicity of his promise makes something within you ease slightly. Perhaps sharing your inner conflicts wouldn't be as horrible as you feared.

“Thank you,” you nod gently. 

Chan leads you outside the building and to his car, your hand still in his. “I wanted to take you out for coffee, but would you rather go home? Whatever you say is fine, beautiful,” he assures you, and tears brim your eyes. 

“Our favorite spot?” you ask gently. 

Chan smiles sweetly, dimples showing. “Yeah,” he nods, giggling as your face lightens up. 

“I would love to,” you tell him. 

-

When you're back home, the atmosphere shifts as Minho greets you both from the sofa. His smile is shy, a reflection of his ongoing struggles, yet sincere. His eyes light up when he sees you. "Everything okay?" he asks, a subtle concern in his tone.

You nod, squeezing Chan's hand before letting go. "We need to talk, all of us," you say, surprising even yourself with the firmness in your voice. Minho's brow furrows slightly, but he nods, understanding the seriousness of your tone. He gestures towards the empty space next to him. 

As you all sit down, the weight of the moment hangs heavily in the air. You take a deep breath, gathering the courage to be as open as possible. "I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed," you begin, your voice stronger than you feel. "Not by you two specifically, but by everything. The fears I've kept to myself are... they're getting heavy."

Chan reaches for your hand again, his touch a silent promise. Minho leans in, ready to listen, to help shoulder the burden you've carried alone for too long. You share your fears—of losing them, of not being enough, of the future that seems so uncertain sometimes. With each confession, the walls you built crumble.

“You know you can always come to us when those thoughts get too much to handle, yeah?” Chan asks gently. 

“You're always there for us, honey, don't forget we're there for you too,” Minho adds agreeingly, gently rubbing your thigh. 

“I know…A lot of it is in my head, but I miss you two,” you admit. “I can't even explain it, but I miss you so much, and I just wish everything would be normal again,” you say, tears brimming your eyes. 

“Y/nnie,” Minho whispers and shakes his head, tears brimming his own eyes. “We have to work with what we got. A lot has happened, and we can't pretend it didn't. We have to find our new normal,” he tells you and timidly takes your hand.

“But we're always here, yeah? You're still our beautiful wife,” Chan chimes in. 

“Well, then start acting like it!” you suddenly burst out, and seeing the hurt and confusion lacing their features you quickly get up. “Start acting like I'm your wife and not just your crush you hold hands with from time to time.” 

“Seriously?” Minho asks dangerously low and Chan swallows, already fearing an outburst of both of you. “Tell me you're joking.”

“I'm not,” you snap at him. “Obviously, I'm not.”

“What the fuck do you need me to do then? What do I have to change, huh?” he snaps right back at you, getting up as well. 

“Guys, please,” Chan tries gently, but you both ignore him. 

“I don't know! But it feels like shit, I'm just some bystander to you two being all lovey-dovey all day!” you burst out. 

“You’re pushing us away, you know that?” Minho retorts, his voice dripping with frustration and hurt. “You say you feel left out, but you've got walls so high, I need a damn ladder to get over them! Every time I try to initiate anything more than the crush behavior, as you put it, you back away.”

“I-” you start, but you can’t form any clear sentence in response. Minho is right, you’ve been denying him to go any further repeatedly.

Chan’s face grows pale, his eyes wide as he watches the confrontation unfold, seemingly frozen in place. “Can we... please not do this?” he stammers, his voice cracking under the strain. “This isn’t helping any of us.”

“You stay out of this!” Minho snaps, turning his glare briefly to Chan. The sharpness in Minho’s tone slices through the tension like a knife, leaving Chan blinking back tears, his hands shaking slightly as he tries to compose himself. “You don’t have to participate in this fight, but let me say my piece.”

“I’m trying to help!” Chan protests weakly, his voice trembling at the thought of you getting into a serious fight. Minho and you almost never fought, but if you did, it was always ugly, hurtful, and fucking loud. He didn’t like it before, but he could barely take it now, getting overwhelmed.  “I don’t want to see us fall apart over misunderstandings and hurt feelings!”

“Well, it’s not just about feelings, Chan!” you shout, your voice breaking as the tears start to fall. “It’s about being seen and heard in this relationship. I feel invisible most days, like I’m just here to fill a space between the two of you! It’s like you don’t care about me.”

Minho blinks at you, and you can tell he needs a moment to process your words. Then he explodes. “If you really feel this way, if everything I do is that useless and meaningless…then I don't know what the fuck I'm still doing here!”

“Minho,” you whisper in shock, and Chan's tears fall freely now. 

“Minho, please don’t say that,” Chan shakes his head, looking at him anxiously. 

“No, seriously, fuck this. Fuck you,” he says harshly, and you know he's trying to cover his hurt with anger. “I don’t care about you, yeah sure,” he goes on. “I stayed by your bedside for weeks, praying that you’d wake up. I have done nothing but respect your boundaries, give you the time you need, and make sure you’re comfortable. What the fuck do you need me to do to think I actually give a fuck about you?!” he shouts at the top of his lungs, and it has both you and Chan flinching heavily. It’s rare he loses composure like this. He’s breathing heavily once he’s done, staring at you with fierce but such vulnerable eyes it makes you sick. He nods to himself as you don’t answer and grabs his phone from the sofa. “You don’t even know what you need. How the fuck am I supposed to, huh?”

“Min, please,” Chan whispers, sensing how hurt his husband truly is behind his mask of anger. 

Minho’s expression softens for a moment, his anger faltering as he sees the tears streaming down his face. “I need a break,” he announces. “I’ll sleep in the guest room; I can’t do this right now.” He shakes his head and meets your eyes for a brief second. “Thanks for the talk,” he says sarcastically as you don’t respond to his prior statements.

You stand still for a second as he leaves before collecting your things as well. 

“Y/nnie,” Chan tries weakly.

“Don’t,” you say sharply, shaking your head. 

Chan flinches as the door to your bedroom slams closed and slumps onto the sofa, biting back a sob. He blindly reaches for his phone and blinks away tears to find his best friend’s number. Felix picks up after the second ring. “Lix, I-I know it’s late-,” he starts weakly.

“Where are you?” he asks worriedly at the distressed sound of his voice. “Do you need me to get you?” he asks, already getting up to search for his keys. His husband shoots him a questioning look, and Felix mouths Chan’s name. Changbin frowns worriedly, getting up as well and grabbing his keys. 

“Can I stay at yours? Just for tonight?” he sniffles helplessly. 

“Of course, Channie,” Felix says soothingly, slipping into his shoes. “You’re at home?” he asks carefully, leaving the house with Changbin right behind him. 

“Yeah…home,” he says, choking on the word. 

“We’ll be there in ten minutes, okay?” he asks gently, waiting for Chan’s quiet hum in response. “Deep breaths, Channie hyung, I’m sure whatever this is it can be fixed.”

“I’m not sure,” he answers shakily. “I’m really not.”

“They got into a fight?” he asks carefully, knowing how much it upset Chan. 

“Yeah,” he whispers. “It was bad, Lix, really, really bad.”

“I’m sorry, Channie,” he says softly. Only a little later Chan meets them in front of the house and they pull him into a tight hug. 

Changbin soothingly rubs his back. “Come on, Channie hyung, let's go,” he gently urges him to the car, handing him a tissue. “You can stay as long as you need to, okay?”

Chan nods and gets into the car, sinking into Felix's arms as the younger one sits down next to him. Felix gently rubs his shoulder and sighs. “It's gonna be okay, Channie.”

Three days later

Waking up, you notice Chan's side of the bed is still made, untouched from the night before. Minho is already downstairs, the clatter of dishes breaking the uncomfortable silence that had settled over the house. As you walk into the kitchen, Minho’s posture stiffens, his usually warm eyes clouded with frustration.

“Good morning,” you say hesitantly, your voice barely a whisper, hoping to ease into the morning peacefully.

Minho nods without meeting your eyes, continuing his task. “Morning,” he replies shortly. 

“I was thinking we could all go out today, maybe get some fresh air together,” you suggest, trying to find a way to get you three to deal with what happened.

Minho pauses, placing a plate down a little too hard. “Chan isn’t feeling well,” he says shortly, finally looking up at you with a mix of irritation and exhaustion in his expression.

“Is it his headache again?”

“Probably,” Minho mutters, turning back to the dishes. “Or maybe it’s just an excuse.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, your voice rising slightly in concern.

Minho sighs, a long, tired exhale. “It means maybe he’s just avoiding us. Avoiding this,” he gestures vaguely between the two of you.

“Minho, that’s not fair. You know how much he’s been struggling with everything,” you counter, feeling your heart rate pick up as the beginnings of anger mix with your worry.

“And what about us?” Minho snaps, his composure breaking. “When do we get to talk about how this is affecting us? You’re so focused on Chan. What about me? What about what I need?”

The accusation hits hard, opening a floodgate of emotions you’d both been tiptoeing around. “I’m trying to be here for both of you and fix this!” you exclaim, frustration overtaking your initial intent to keep the peace.

“Well, maybe try a little harder because I don’t feel it!” Minho’s voice escalates, his tone harsher than you’ve ever heard.

“Guys? What’s going on?” Chan’s weak voice comes from the doorway. His usual bright eyes are dim and shadowed with pain.

You both turn, startled, as Chan leans against the frame, looking between you two with a growing sense of dread. “I just needed some air, that’s all,” he murmurs, clearly caught off-guard by the newly thickened tension.

Minho’s expression softens slightly at the sight of Chan, but his frustration is far from appeased. “We’re just talking,” he says, though his voice suggests it was anything but a simple conversation.

Chan glances at you, his eyes searching for an ally. “It doesn’t sound like talking,” he comments softly, his tone hurt.

“You wouldn’t know; you’ve been avoiding us!” Minho’s outburst swiftly redirects the tension back to Chan.

“That’s not fair, Min,” Chan protests, his voice weak but filled with hurt. “I’m just trying not to make things worse.”

“By not talking? By hiding away?” Minho counters, his voice laced with bitterness.

“Enough!” you finally shout, unable to bear it anymore. “This isn’t helping anyone. We’re supposed to be in this together.” Both fall silent, the echo of your shout hanging between you. The air is thick with unsaid things, each of you caught in your own thoughts. “We need to fix this,” you say finally. “We can’t go on like this.”

Chan nods, looking exhausted. “I know,” he agrees quietly.

Minho doesn’t speak; his jaw clenches as he wrestles with his emotions, but his nod is agreement enough. You all sit down at the dinner table, facing each other.

Chan’s voice is gentle as he suggests, “Let’s each say something we feel without interruptions. Just listen to each other. Really listen.”

You nod, taking a deep breath. “I feel overlooked,” you begin, the words raw but necessary.

“I feel helpless,” Minho adds, his voice thick.

“I’m afraid of losing you both,” Chan admits, his eyes glossy with unshed tears.

The room grows silent as each confession hangs in the air. You all look at each other, the vulnerability shared creating a bridge that had been missing in the chaos of your misunderstandings.

Chan reaches across the table, his fingers brushing against yours. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice steady despite the emotion. "I’ve been so wrapped up in my own shit that I didn’t see how isolated you felt."

Minho exhales deeply, the tension easing from his shoulders as he acknowledges Chan's words. "And I... I've been so focused on not falling apart myself that I forgot to make sure we're all okay," he admits, his gaze shifting between you and Chan, a silent plea for forgiveness in his eyes.

It's your turn to respond, the atmosphere allowing for more open and heartfelt communication. "I've been afraid of burdening you both with my fears," you say, the admission freeing in its own way. "But I see now that keeping them to myself only creates more distance. I need to share more, not less," you continue, feeling a bit lighter with each word. "I need us to really be in this together."

Minho's hand finds yours, squeezing gently. "I've been scared," he admits, his voice cracking slightly. "Scared that pushing too hard or not enough could end up driving you away. But I see now that not communicating is just as damaging."

Chan, still visibly shaken but slowly regaining his composure, adds, "I thought I was protecting you both from my issues, but I was just isolating myself further. I promise to be more present, even when it's hard."

The conversation turns into a lengthy discussion in which each of you takes turns expressing thoughts and emotions that had been buried under daily routines and misunderstandings. It’s not just about voicing grievances; it’s about rediscovering each other's needs and reassessing how to support each other better.

Chan proposes a weekly check-in, a safe space where anything can be discussed without judgment, ensuring that no concern is too small or too trivial to be voiced. Minho suggests more one-on-one time with each of you to strengthen individual bonds that contribute to the health of the collective relationship.

In the following weeks, the impact of that conversation becomes evident. Slowly, the dynamics in your household start to shift. There's a newfound gentleness in your interactions, a deeper consideration for each other's mental spaces, and an active effort to engage without overwhelming one another.

Feeling less isolated, you find the courage to share your smaller daily fears and joys, discovering that these moments of sharing contribute significantly to your feeling of closeness with your husbands. 

In a relationship as complex and intertwined as yours, challenges are inevitable.

PART SEVEN | PART NINE

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@atinyniki @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @kailee08 @aaa-sia @lilmisssona @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @rebecca-johnson-28 @lixie-phoria @kibs-and-bits @xxstrayland @ihrtlix @pheonixfire777 @mellhwang @palindrome969 @michelle4eve @harshaaaaa @rylea08 @heeyboooo @manuosorioh @gisaerlleri @andassortedkpop @lailac13 @bbokari711 @kazuuuaaa @rssamj @wolfyychan @stellasays45 @chrizzztopherbang @ontito0icongirls @furiousheartpoetry @bluesiebirdie @scarlet789 @ziipzeepzop-eez @lost-in-avoidance @dprkbyn @bear8585 @lee-knows-cats @mintchip17 @zdgx1 @zerefdragn33l @chansducky10 @melanctton @0325tiny @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @daisyjihannie @felixs-brownies78 @roriiror

#stray kids #skz #chan #minho #minchan #lee know #bangchan #poly!skz #poly!stray kids #chan fic #chan angst #minho fic #minho angst #minchan fic #minchan angst #chan x reader #minho x reader #minchan x reader #lee know angst #lee know fic #bangchan fic #bangchan fluff #bangchan x reader #lee know x reader #stray kids fic #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader #skz fluff #skz reader #skz fic

[drea-ms]

SMOKED CIGARETTES AND EMPTY BEER BOTTLES. GETO SUGURU

げとうすぐる. Please don't try to kiss me on the sidewalk, On your cigarette break. I can't afford to love someone, not the way we loved each other.

warnings. heavy angst. no happy ending. hurt NO comfort at all. major character death. suicide mentions. depression and anxiety. mentions of smoking and drinking. toxic situationship. right person not enough time trope. canon complient? haibara lives tho so 🤷‍♀️. slight mention of suguru x oc (nakamura kyouko) but it's not mentioned or deep enough. sugu n reader r NAWT okay. not proofread, but when has my shit never not been proofread? grammar mistakes. inspired by xanny by billie eilish.

masterlist. next

A six pack box of beer, (the sweet ones, you never like the bitter taste of beer.) the sunset looking as beautiful as ever, and you sitting on the rooftop, a cigarette you stole from shoko in your hand (You didn't smoke. You used it as to have something your hands could play with). Life as a traumatized jujutsu student couldn't get better than this. Hell, you wished you could've gone back to the time before your fight with him. You knew you couldn't stop him, you knew you both weren't good for each other, but that's what made it work for you and Suguru. At least you thought it did.

Leading to the weeks before the fight, was the death of Riko. You knew she was somewhat close to Suguru, like a little sister. He told you about her, it was sweet that he had a sister like figure. Then after her death was the almost death of Haibara. You knew something was up that day, so you headed to where Yu was clearing a mission and saved his life, the only consequence was the fact that you were hurt more than him. He got upset, you understood him. But at the same time you didn't.

You understood that he liked to smoke, and you didn't. You understood that you liked drinking more than smoking, and he didn't. Complete opposites, yet fit each other so well.

Your mother told you it was best for you to get a therapist (one that knows about jujutsu.) so that they could help you. (it worked for a bit, but can you fix what was already broken?) Later, you got diagnosed with Anxiety, they told you to take medication for it, you did. (You never liked taking pills. After the incident with an old friend you couldn't handle them.) All of this was never told to Suguru. Not like he would care, right?

Why would you tell him? it's not like the two of you were dating, if anything, he was more interested in her. (You wouldn't blame him, Nakamura Kyouko was a beauty.) Why would it bother him that you don't tell him anything? Why does he get jealous when other guys flirt with you? why does he act like your boyfriend when he isn't? You don't understand Geto Suguru.

He has her. But why does he always keep coming back to you?

Then there was the fight, the one between you and him. The one where he couldn't hold back and tell you everything he thought of you. You weren't even sure what started the the fight, but you were sure that you lost the moment he brought up how useless you were, he was comparing you to how she could do better then you. (Why did Suguru bring her up? Kyouko made sure that she didn't have a thing with Suguru, that instead she wasn't ready for a relationship at all. You couldn't blame her. not when he was right.)

"Do you understand what I'm saying? you're weak, [name]. You always have been! Why can't you get that through your thick skull?! You put others before yourself. You don't even have a grade level! You're useless in the jujutsu world. What more do you want to know?! Huh?" you see even sure if he was yelling or not, to inside your mind to figure it out.

"There's a reason as to why, Geto. There's a god damn reason as to why I don't have a grade level as a jujutsu sorcerer. You wanna know why Suguru? Huh?! You wanna know why the ever loving fuck I don't have a grade level like the rest of you all?! Because as of the time I'm living and willy be living, I am considered a threat to the jujutsu world. My technique hasn't been used since eons! No one is sure when my technique is ready, no one knows when I'll lose control and kill everything single fucking living think I come across of. Get through your thick fucking skull Geto." tears starting coming out of you, harsh. You didn't want to cry infront of him. Because if you did, the he would've known that he won the argument. So you did what you've done best.

You left.

Now that you think about it, you missed it when it was just you and him, with no care in the world, where you were still in a complicated relationship with him. Where the only argument you had with him that was serious was when he kissed you with him smelling like cigarettes.

"C'mon Sugu, don't kiss me on the side walk! Everyone's gonna see and it's crowded here!" you would pout at him, which made him weak in the knees

"[nickname], it's my only break I have where—" "Where you can smoke, yadayada, just... don't smoke and then kiss me?" you ask, lips kissing his nose.

"Of course," he smiled at you, you smiled back.

You missed those days.

Now that you were out of your head, the alcohol making you dizzy, and looking at the sunset, you realized that you weren't cut out to be part of this hell. After leaving the fight with Suguru, you avoided him and then avoiding going to school altogether, you started going to therapy more often (it helped i little, then it didn't, you were later diagnosed with depression. Yay.) then dropping out of therapy after.

You knew that, what you were doing was the better option for everyone and yourself. You wrote letters to everyone in jujutsu high (including the higher ups, but you just cursed them out and told them that in the next life you would kill them with your own hands.) and You left your dorm at night, opting to to stay at an inn under a different name. You wrote two letters to Suguru that night. Only heading back to the school dorms to leave them on his door.

Now standing up in the rooftop, you decided to turn around, not facing the sunset, not looking down at how high the building you broke into was, instead, you closed your eyes and fell backwards.

With not one care in the world.

(NOTICE FROM THE JUJUTSU HEADQUARTERS; [lastname] [firstname], the unregistered grade sorcerer is no longer a threat. please get rid of any file related to her.)

NOTES ; half of my blog is literally angst related. i can NEVER write happy and fluffy things, except for saiki..... i love writing angst like alot idk i think while listening to music and then boom angst idea! anyways, please tell me if you enjoy this price i wrote this one lil an hour, also send reqs in my ask box!! i'm bored!!!

#🌙 — val writes #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #geto suguru #jjk geto #jjk suguru #geto x reader #getou suguru x reader #suguru x reader #geto angst #jjk angst

[elismor]

I see a lot of posts going by about comments and kudos and hits and...well... I've been thinking about the three quite a lot lately--as both a fic author and someone who spends a lot of my professional life looking at web metrics and determining which are actually important/accurate measures of user engagement.

Mileage varies, of course. And this is all just MY opinion, so do feel free to ignore it wholesale.

What I think when I see someone say that sorting by a hits to to kudos ratio is a good way to find "good" fic:

Hits are a measure of quantity (how many times your story or art has been viewed), but without knowing how AO3 defines a hit, it's actually kind of a meaningless number.  We know that our own views of our work do not count toward hits, but...if my BFF looks at my story 7 times in one day because she keeps trying to read it but getting interrupted...is that one hit, or seven? And if it's seven, then the numbers are artificially inflated because it's really just Bestie trying to get her Codex fix. And...if Bestie looks at it three times today and four tomorrow...is that 7 hits total, or two? 

Some transparency on the part of AO3 could clear this up handily, but until we get that...shrug. All it is is a number that may or may not be an accurate reflection of how many actual people looked at the page your fic is on.  Did they READ it? Or did they nope out?  No way to know.

Kudos are intended to be slightly more qualitative, but there is no way of knowing why the reader gave them. (Similar to likes here on tumblr.) It might be that they loved the piece. It might be a simple acknowledgement that the reader was there. It might even be a pity kudo. We have no way of knowing. It's, again, just a number.

Obviously, everyone is free to interpret both hits and kudos as positive reaction/interaction. I might do that myself if I didn't spend my workdays explaining to people that 50,000 "hits" to the website could be 50K people who came to learn about us or...simply the result of the computer labs on campus having the university homepage set to default.

Bigger numbers are just that....bigger numbers.

Comments are the only objective way to judge how someone is reacting to your fic or art.

So, what then? Sort by number of comments?

You can do that, sure. (I think. I confess I have never once gotten the AO3 search to work as well as people rave about.) But do keep in mind that many authors answer their comments. So, something with, say, 20 comments may be 20 people telling the author they loved it. Or it might be ten people and ten author-replies. OR, it might be three people having a conversation in the comments. You have to look and see.  

Bigger numbers are just bigger numbers.

Okay, fine Elis. What am I supposed to do then?

Look, I'm not your mother or your therapist and you are free to assign whatever meanings you like to these things. I, personally, find "good" fic through a combination of things including: recs, the fandom grapevine, dumb luck, events, and just...reading some of it and not feeling guilty if I nope out for some reason.

This all sounds a little depressing when laid out like this, huh? Especially when you take into account the downward trends in interacting and the rise of folks treating fic and art as content to be consumed. 

Here's what I have learned from writing fic for 30 years (well, 28 and counting):

As an author (and an artist, I would presume), you have absolutely no way of predicting which of your work will land and take hold and which will not. It's alchemy and luck and the weird (and not actual) algorithm of fandom. Sometimes, the piece you whipped out in 30 minutes and posted on the fly will land in the right person's inbox and they will share it and their friends will share it and it will get big.  Sometimes, the piece you slaved over for weeks and weeks will do that...sometimes it won't.  Sometimes your genius manifests and resonates, sometimes it does not.

My personal favorite fic of my own--the one I think is probably the best thing I have done in SW fandom-- has like 8 kudos and 4 comments (2 of which are my responses). Is it disappointing? Yes. Is it an indication that the fic is objectively "bad"? No.

The mercenary in me suggests that if you want to get lots of comments and kudos, you should pick the pairing that is THE pairing in the fandom and write for that--because that's where the eyeballs are, because that's where the connections are.  But that is not why I write, so it's just that--a very mercenary way of looking at things. Not that there is anything WRONG with doing it that way. Supply and demand run the world. If the people want Codywan and you want the people....give them Codywan. No shame in that.

And there is no shame in wanting or seeking validation for your work, either.

But it breaks my heart to see authors (and artists) give up on themselves when they do not receive piles of kudos and comments. It's not you. It's...the luck of the draw. It's...fandom. It's...an artificial and murky set of measurements that have almost no basis in anything meaningful.

Keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing. You are what you make, not how people respond to it.

#let's talk about fic baby #fandom #kudos and comments

[vmrsdias]

impossible love

GIF by @rubendiasatl

Pairing: Ruben Dias x Reader

Plot : you love him, but he is about to marry someone else

Author's note: English is not my firts language

You knew you shouldn't because it was unprofessional, but you loved it. You loved the way he looked at you, the way your heart pounded in your chest when he was near you.

“You should go ahead and look for another man”, this is the phrase you repeated in your head every day when you found out that Ruben was getting married. The problem with this sentence is that you couldn't. You went out (if you can call them that) with two guys, but they weren't Ruben and no one could have been him.

You heard the guys talking in the changing room, they were saying that the hen party was that same evening at a bar in Manchester. That evening you finished your shift as a physical therapist and went home. As soon as you arrived to welcome you there was your golden retiver, Snoopy, after playing with him, you went to take a shower, as soon as you came out you decided that you would drink a glass or maybe two of red wine. It was around 11.30pm when your phone lit up reporting a message from someone, that someone was your friend from university, Hanna, who was asking if you wanted to go for a drink in Manchester city centre. You really wanted to stay home but immediately after reading the message the doorbell rang. As soon as you open the door you find your friend, begging you to come out. "Come on, it's Friday night! Do you want to stay locked in here and drink that bottle of wine?" “yeah, that was actually my plan” you told him going to sit on the couch.

She didn't answer you, she just closed the door and went to your room, ignoring your calls. When you entered your room there was Hanna pulling down a little black dress, she turned towards you and says "put this on and let's go, without any objections y/n" "I want to stay home tonight" "no. this evening you will go out and get Ruben out of your mind" and while he was saying this he threw your dress. "It's not about him, it's been a very long week." Hanna has always been stubborn and fighting her was like fighting a wall. After telling you this he leaves the room but not before turning and telling you "I'll wait for you in the car, you have 10 minutes." He didn't even give you time to respond before you heard the sound of the door closing. 10 minutes later you were sitting in Hanna's car, heading towards the bar. When you entered the bar, you sat down and ordered. While you were chatting Hanna looks up and is shocked "don't turn around" "why?" "trust me don't do it", you didn't understand why so even though he told you not to do it you turned around and at that moment you instantly regretted it. Ruben was there with his future wife.

At that precise moment Ruben raised his head and your gaze met, the air around you seemed to have disappeared, so you ran outside. You leaned against the wall and closed your eyes thinking that you should have listened to all the people who said never to fall in love, because love hurts. You felt a hand on you and you opened your eyes, in front of you was the last person you wanted to see at that moment, Ruben. "are you OK?" you wanted to tell him that you weren't well, that you couldn't breathe and stop thinking about the two of you together.

"Why are you interested?" you replied to him in a tone that even you don't know where it came from. "of course I'm interested" "really?" "yes" "then why are you getting married to her?" “y/n” “do you love her?” “y/n” “stop saying my name and answer me, do you love her?” "do you know" "what do I know? that less than two months ago we were together in a bed and now you are getting married to another woman" in that moment everything came out, everything, you couldn't hold back. “I love her” when he said those words you stopped breathing for a second.

“you should have loved me not her” after these words you pushed yourself away from the wall and walked past Ruben, ignoring the fact that he was calling you.

From that day on you never saw Ruben again because when he left for his honeymoon, you decided to leave Manchester.

Maybe you were a coward but you couldn't bear to see him every day.

#ruben dias x reader #football fanfic #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias #football imagine

[eddiemunsonswhxre]

little bean / eddie munson (you're the reason pt. 3)

masterlist

you're the reason mini series (part three)

part one , part two

cw: female reader, fluff, some angst, lots of cursing, pregnancy, mentions but not descriptions of birth, supportive best friends, so much cuteness, probably one of my fav things i've ever written, also over 10k words, not the last part

you and eddie handle your pregnancy

notes: this takes place in an alternate universe where the upside down doesn't exist, the byers never moved, el doesn't have powers, etc. i did a little research on how pregnancy/doctors appointments went in the 80s because it's much different than today but i also know some things are going to be wrong. but i do know for certain ultrasounds weren't a thing yet, and if they were it was extremely rare. i'm also fairly certain i messed up the timeline somewhere but it confused me too much to figure it out so...

--

12 weeks

eddie ran his hand through his hair as he left his fourth therapy appointment. it’d been a month since you had your talk, and as he said he would, the next day he scheduled appointments to see a therapist once a week. he actually felt as though they were benefitting and he was proud to tell you that. he’d also gotten a factory job to start making money for the baby. it wasn’t hard work, he had good hours, and it paid well. he felt like things were really going to work out.

you had just hit your twelve week mark and were starting to really feel some pregnancy symptoms. regardless, you picked up a part time job at the local pharmacy and did some knitting in your free time to sell. the only people who knew so far were the two of you, your employer, your grandma, and wayne. that was partially because you were scared of how your friends would react. you also had your first appointment today. you were more than ecstatic to hear your baby’s heartbeat for the first time. you and eddie hadn’t been together too much, only meeting up to talk about updates and otherwise talking on the phone. 

but, you wouldn’t have him miss this appointment for the world. he was the father, and you loved him. you already knew based on his success so far that you would take him back, you just wanted to be extra sure. he was on his way to pick you up right now and you were struggling to find clothes to wear. everything wasn’t fitting anymore and you couldn’t rationalize spending money on maternity clothes until absolutely nothing fit. you huffed in annoyance and finally decided on a long black skirt that just managed to hide your bump. you paired it with a pink blouse and slipped on some flats. you looked less like yourself, but you didn’t want the doctor to think you were some dumb teenager who had no idea what she was doing (even though you were…).

you heard your grandma open the door and eddie greet her. after convincing your grandma he was genuine about changing, she welcomed him back into the family with open arms. eddie knocked on your open door, smiling as he watched you brush on some make up. “hey, mama,” he snickered, crossing his arms. 

you rolled your eyes but smiled at him. “i am not calling you daddy,” you mumble, applying mascara to your lashes. 

“oh, you wound me,” he playfully scoffs, pushing off the door and walking to you. “turn around, lemme see my little bean,” he says, making grabby hands. you chuckle, putting down the tube of mascara and turning. you smooth your skirt down to showcase your bump causing eddie to gasp and his smile to widen. “baby’s getting so big,” he coos, sinking to his knees and putting his hands on your stomach. 

your lip quivers as you watch eddie place a kiss to your stomach. “hi, little one,” he says, caressing your stomach as he talks to the baby. “i hope you’re being good for mommy and stop making her all sick,” he murmurs, talking as if you’re not even there. “mommy and daddy are going to listen to your little heartbeat for the first time today, gonna get to hear how strong you are,” he continues, littering kisses over your stomach. you sniffle causing eddie to look up at you as you wipe away some tears. he stands up immediately and grabs ahold of your waist with one hand and your cheek with the other. “what? what’s wrong?” he asks, eyes searching yours frantically. 

you let out a small laugh and wave him off before taking a deep breath and wrapping your arms around him. “that was just so cute,” you mumble, holding him tightly.

eddie relaxes at your words and a soft smile covers his face. he wraps his arms around you, holding you gently and placing his lips to the top of your head. “hormones really getting to ya, huh?” he asks, stroking your back. you nod, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms. “well, i got a couple parenting and pregnancy books from the thrift store and they say that talking to your baby before they’re born can help strengthen your bond with them. and i don’t know… i’m kind of scared that i won’t be a good dad so i figured i’d get a head start,” eddie admits and you let out another cry, causing him to pull you away from his chest and look at you in mild alarm. 

“you bought pregnancy books?” you ask, your heart swelling. he wipes your tears off your cheeks to try and avoid ruining your makeup and nods. you pout. “that’s adorable,” you mumble, wanting to cry more. god damn you hormones. after another moment your eyebrows furrow. “wait, eddie, you’re gonna be a great dad. you’re already proving that,” you say, sniffling as your tears finally stop. 

eddie shrugs and looks away from you. “just don’t wanna turn out like-”

“you’re not your father, don’t even go there,” you reassure softly, kissing his cheek. eddie closes his eyes as he tries to let it soak in. “come on, let’s go listen to our baby’s heart beat,” you say and eddie nods. you take his hand and squeeze it before leading him out of your room. 

your appointment went well, and let’s just say the both of you had multiple tears when you heard the heartbeat for the first time. you also found out your due date was february 10th, and having that day made it seem so much more real. 

15 weeks

it was currently 9:03pm and you were suffering. your stomach was killing you due to your muscles stretching to make room for the baby and you were having a killer headache. you grumbled, grabbing the phone off your wall and dialing eddie’s phone number. it rang five times before he picked up. “hello?” he spoke. you could hear some type of movie blaring in the background. 

“hey, it’s me,” you breathe, squeezing your eyes shut. a particularly painful stab shots through your muscles that sends tears to your eyes. 

you hear the tv turn down in the background. “what’s up? something wrong?” he asks, hiding his worry as to not cause you to further panic if you were having a problem. 

a few tears fall from your eyes as you rub the side of your stomach. “are you busy?” you ask, swallowing down the lump that was forming in your throat. 

“no, why?” eddie answers, knowing you weren’t calling just to talk. 

you let out a small whimper that has eddie’s heart rate picking up. “i’m sorry to even bother you, but do you think you could bring me some tylenol? i-i ran out yesterday and i’m in so much pain,” you ask, pushing on your stomach to get some type of relief. 

eddie frowns as he can hear the pain in your voice. “yeah, no problem, babe. i’ll go pick some up, lay down okay? i’ll be fast,” he answers, leaning over to grab his wallet from the counter. 

you nod, biting your lip as a piercing pain goes through your temple. “you don’t need to rush, thank you so much,” you say, not wanting to inconvenience him too much. 

“oh hush, i’ll be there in a few. bye babe,” he says. you whisper a goodbye back and then he hangs up. you don’t comment on the fact he called you babe, to be honest you had missed it. you huff, walking back over to your bed and laying on your back. tears fall from your eyes as you close them and hold the sides of your stomach to try and relieve some pain. 

it takes eddie approximately eleven minutes to run to the gas station and get to your house. he slips inside with the key you had given him, not wanting to make you get out of bed since your grandma was already in her room watching some crime show. he makes his way down the hall and to your room. he knocks before pushing it open slowly, peaking in to make sure you were okay with him coming in. the sight in front of him makes his heart hurt. “oh, y/n,” he mumbles, closing your door behind him and speed walking over to you. you give him a small smile and push yourself into a sitting position. 

“thank you, eddie,” you murmur, hand resting on your growing stomach. 

eddie sits next to you on the bed and begins grabbing things from the bag. “here’s your tylenol,” he starts, handing you the box. “then i got you some strawberry milk since you like it so much, oh and some chocolate and a bag of chips,” he said, laying it all out between you. 

you smile and lean over to give him a hug. “thanks,” you say quietly, resting your head on his shoulder. 

he wraps one arm around you, rubbing your upper arm and placing a kiss to your temple. “no problem,” he whispers back, looking down at you with eyes full of love. 

you pull away so you can take some tylenol and eddie watches. you look at the chocolate bars and chips he had brought you as you tried to decide. finally, you chose on the hershey bar. “my wallet is on my vanity, take however much this was,” you say, pointing to your vanity haphazardly. 

eddie shakes his head, pursing his lips. “nah, i got it, don’t worry,” he says, rubbing his thighs with his palms. you frown but he just gives you a warning look. “do you wanna lay back down or what? what’s gonna help you feel the best?” he asks, turning to face you more. 

you take another bite of chocolate as you think. “can i ask something that might cross a line?” you ask shyly. eddie furrows his brows but nods anyway. “can we cuddle?” you whisper, avoiding eye contact.

eddie chuckles and starts to kick his shoes off. “yeah, y/n, we can cuddle,” he laughs at you, pulling his leather jacket off as well before crawling up towards your headboard. “how do you want me?” he asks, looking back at you.

“can i lay between your legs?” you mumble, cheeks hot. eddie laughs at you lightly and sits against the headboard. 

he moves his legs apart and pats his chest. “come here,” he says with a smile. you comply, slowly making your way up to him. you groan in pain as you twist yourself to sit down. you lean your back against eddie’s chest, head resting just below his shoulder. your knees are propped up as eddie wraps his arms around to rest on your stomach. you break off a piece of chocolate and hold it behind you, looking up to watch him eye it. “you’re sure?” he asks with a smirk. you roll your eyes fondly before nodding and he eats it from your fingers. 

“she’s killing me already,” you sigh, eating another piece of chocolate.

eddie raises his brows and looks down at you. “she? you think we’re having a girl?” he asks, lightly rubbing his hands over your stomach. 

you shrug, realizing you hadn’t yet told him this theory. “i don’t know. i’ll be happy with either of course, but something is just telling me it’s a little girl,” you say, rubbing your stomach lovingly. “you think it’s gonna be a boy?” you ask, leaning your head back to look at him. 

“uh, i don’t know. i think i want a girl though,” he says, looking into your eyes. 

you smile, that was sweet. “why? if you don’t mind me asking,” you shrug once more. you throw the empty chocolate bar wrapper into the trash can next to your bed. 

eddie, sighs as he thinks. “just want a little girl to spoil, i guess. a little princess,” he speaks dreamily. “of course i’d love a boy too,” he adds, looking back to you. “what do you want?” he asks.

you hum, looking down at your bump. “i don’t even care, just want them to be healthy,” you respond. eddie nods and gives you a smile. 

“yeah, especially that,” he agrees.

the two of you sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes until you decide to just ask him. “eddie?” you question. he hums in response, telling you to continue. “do you think… we could get back together now?” you hesitate. eddie freezes for a moment in shock.

you feel him tense, and frown. maybe you should’ve waited a bit more. “well, i guess that’s really up to you. i’m gonna love you no matter how soon or how long you wait to take me back,” eddie finally answers and you feel your heart swell. 

“i’ve really been thinking about it for the past week. i knew i wanted to wait until i felt like you’d gotten a good grasp of things and i didn’t know if it was just my hormones making me want to do it now or if it’s truly what i wanted. i’ve realized that it isn’t just my hormones, and if you can tell me you think you’ve gotten a handle on your anger and what not then yeah, i wanna be back together with you,” you explain, playing with his fingers. 

eddie smiles, feeling his heart warm with joy. “i’m not gonna lie, sometimes i do get really mad still. my therapist says i always will. but i haven’t blown up on anyone and i feel like i do honestly know how to control it now or handle it in a healthy way,” eddie responds and you smile. 

you look back to meet his eyes and twist slightly. “then i’m glad to have you back,” you say and waste no time pressing your lips against his. 

16-19 weeks (spreading the news)

over the next couple weeks, you and eddie had decided to finally start telling others about your pregnancy. you’d been keeping to yourself mostly so it wasn’t hard to hide but they definitely knew something was up. they knew about your fight and that you were taking a break, but had no clue about the pregnancy. 

right now, you were on your way to eddie’s practice with his band to tell them. he figured they should be one of the firsts, because him being a dad was going to affect them too. “you nervous?” eddie asked, pulling into gareth’s driveway. you nod, looking into the garage at the three guys setting up their instruments. eddie grabs your hand, bringing your knuckles to his lips and pressing a kiss to them. “it’ll be fine, i’m sure they’ll be excited,” he comforts, trying to will away the nerves in your eyes. 

you take a deep breath nodding and giving him a tight lipped smile before getting out. eddie decided to let you do this however you wanted to. and he would admit, your idea was pretty cute. you stretched your back as eddie grabbed his guitar from the back, waving to the guys as he came up to you. “showtime,” eddie muttered, kissing your head before grabbing your hand and leading you towards the guys. 

“y/n, what’s up? long time no see,” gareth smiled, walking over and pulling you into a half hug. 

you smile, hugging him back with one arm as jeff approaches you. “life’s been a little crazy lately. luckily, i think me and eddie got things under control,” you joke, giving eddie a genuine smile as jeff pulls you into his side as well. ricky waved from afar, never being the type for physical contact.  

“mm, we can only hope,” eddie mumbles, squeezing your hand before walking over to set up his guitar. 

gareth goes to get you a chair from the top of his garage as jeff walks with you towards ricky. “here to listen to us practice?” ricky asks, tuning his guitar as he gave you a small smile, his yellow teeth a bit too on display. 

you looked to eddie for reassurance and he nodded, biting his lip to hide his excited smile. “yeah, eddie and i thought it would be best to get the little one started early,” you explain, stepping back and turning to the side. you smooth down your shirt, which was really one of eddie's (even though it was way too big to fit him normally), to reveal your bump. 

there’s a loud noise as gareth drops the chair he was getting for you, it messily clattering to the ground. “woah, you’re pregnant?” jeff asks, stepping to the side to further inspect your bump. you laugh, pulling up eddie’s shirt to rest on top of your bump so they could get a better look. 

“holy fuck. shit, wow, oh my god, munson you’re gonna be a dad?” gareth mumbles, rushing over and squatting down to look at your swollen stomach. he throws confused glances towards eddie who was chuckling while also looking at your bump in fascination. 

eddie walks over, placing a hand on your back and smiling proudly. “yep, best daddy out there,” he said slyly, nodding at the guys. 

ricky’s face scrunches up in disgust, “never call yourself daddy again.” all of you laugh as gareth asks if he can touch your stomach.

you let him of course and watching his face is like watching a small child on christmas. “there’s a little baby on the other side of my hands right now, woah,” he says with a smile. jeff shoves him out of the way to get his turn. you watch the guys fondly talk about the baby, agreeing that he or she would automatically be the biggest fan of their band and talking about everything they’d do together. 

the next people you wanted to tell were steve and robin. you had made the guys promise not to tell anyone else about the pregnancy since you guys wanted to do it all yourselves. after leaving his rehearsal that day, you gushed to eddie about how excited you were to tell everyone else. so, you went right home and called robin and steve to set up a hang out the next day. 

eddie and you were sitting in a booth at the diner, waiting for robin and steve to arrive and get lunch. eddie was nervously tapping his rings against the table while you scanned the menu, trying to decide which of the delicious foods you were going to actually get. “hun, why are you so nervous?” you ask, glancing up from the menu.

he bites his lip, looking over to you. he shrugs, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. “i just feel like your friends don’t like me that much, i’m just scared of what they’ll think,” he explains, moving his hand down to rest on your thigh.

you shake your head and place a kiss to his cheek. “i promise you that you’re worrying too much. robin and steve do like you, steve’s just weird,” you say and pat his cheek, causing him to laugh. the bell rings, signaling someone had entered the diner and you both look up to see exactly who you were waiting for. you smiled as robin’s eyes met yours and you began to wave her over. she dragged steve along, them sliding into the booth across from you. 

despite eddie’s worries, the four of you fell into easy conversation until it was time for you to order. steve ordered a double cheese burger, robin ordered chicken tenders (because of course she would), and eddie had gotten a bacon cheeseburger. normally, you were the type to get a salad or chicken tenders because you didn’t have the biggest appetite. so you could expect steve and robin’s reaction when you started listing off your order. “can i get a double cheeseburger with bacon, oh, can i do that? awesome. um and then can i actually get cheese fries instead of normal fries. and uh, eds do you think onion rings would be okay? yeah, i’ll take those too. oh! and can i please get a strawberry milkshake, thank you so much,” you rattle off, smiling as you hand the waitress your menu. she smiles, giving you a knowing look and walks away. 

steve and robin eye you, robin being a lot more subtle as eddie tries to hold back his laugh. steve’s jaw is literally dropped as you sip on your sprite. “y/n, are you sure you can eat that much food? like… not trying to be mean but you never eat like that,” steve wonders. he groans in pain when robin slaps him upside the head and gives him a warning look. 

eddie smiles, wrapping his arm around you as you two make eye contact. you nod, giving him the go ahead. “hey, she’s eating for two, cut her some slack,” he jokes with raised brows, watching robin and steve’s eyes widen. 

they look at each other before their eyes flip between the both of you. “two?” robin stutters, looking at you in disbelief. 

you let out a giggle and lean into eddie’s side. “wait, wait, wait, wait… you’re eating for… no…” steve gasps, his eyes falling to your hand as you place it on your stomach that he could now see was prominent. 

robin squeals, throwing her hands up and then flinging them across the table to grab yours. “oh my gosh, you’re pregnant?” she gasps, tears filling her eyes. you pout, tears filling your own as you see her reaction. 

steve smiles at you, his own eyes watering, before giving eddie a look. eddie purses his lips until steve holds out his hand, gesturing for eddie to shake it. he smiles, doing just that before looking back to you and robin. “we’re gonna have a baby in february,” you confirm, tears falling from your eyes as you look at eddie lovingly. 

“steve, we need to start picking up more shifts so we can buy stuff,” robin says pointedly and steve rolls his eyes. 

he looks at you with a smile on his face, one of the most genuine ones you’d ever seen him carry. “you guys ready for this? if you need any help we gotcha. i know i say i hate babysitting, but i will be all over this kid,” he laughs and you wipe tears from your eyes at his words.

“this kid is gonna have the best uncle robin and aunt steve,” eddie coos jokingly, causing steve’s eyebrows to furrow. 

“i think you got that mix-”

“ah! i said what i said, harrington,” eddie says, pointing a finger at him. the three of you laugh as steve rolls his eyes, not finding it in him to actually be annoyed. 

robin and steve had promised not to tell anyone until you gave them the go ahead. so, a week later eddie was trying to come up with what he thought would be the hardest one. dustin. 

“i don’t see why you can’t just tell him straight out,” you say, huffing as you try to clasp your bra behind your back. eddie shakes his head, coming up behind you and taking the band from your hands. 

you let your hands fall to your sides as you look in the mirror. you had a shift today at the pharmacy that you were getting ready for while eddie was entering the panic stage. you were standing in just your underwear and your bra, watching eddie’s concentrated face over your shoulder as he hooked the bra together. he wrapped his arms around you when he finally got it, resting his head on your shoulder while running his hands over your belly. “it’s dustin, it’s harder than that,” he hums, the feeling of you against him calming him down. 

you sigh, resting your hands on top of eddie’s. “what about mike, lucas, and will? you’re not so nervous about telling them,” you wonder, looking into his eyes through the mirror. 

eddie closes his eyes and then buries his face into the crook of your neck. “dustin is more… attached to me i guess, i don’t know,” he murmurs into your neck. 

“yeah, well he’s also attached to steve, i think it’s his lack of father figur-” you start.

“he definitely likes me more than steve,” he interrupts and you roll your eyes. 

you reach your hand back and place it on the back of his head, massaging his scalp. “you said you were going to go look at a couple different stores around for crib prices and other stuff. why don’t you take him with you? then you won’t have to think of a way to bring up the topic, he’ll ask,” you suggest. eddie lifts his head and looks at you in slight amazement. 

he turns you around, grabbing your face and pressing your lips to his. “you’re brilliant,” he mutters, causing you to giggle. 

you kiss him back before pushing him away. “go call him while i finish getting ready,” you say, eddie nodding.

and that’s how eddie found himself walking into kohls with dustin talking his ear off about his little girlfriend. dustin followed him blindly as eddie tried to navigate his way to the baby section. “found it,” eddie said with a smile as an assortment of cribs, highchairs, and changing tables came into view.

dustin stopped, looking after eddie with confusion covering his face as eddie began walking through the isle of cribs. he was scanning them with such consideration that had dustin feeling like he was in a different dimension. “eddie?” dustin questioned, jogging slightly to catch up with him. eddie raised his eyebrows in response, trying to hide his nerves. “why are you looking at baby stuff?” he asked, looking at the brown and white cribs that were set up next to them. 

eddie sends dustin a small smile before picking up a price tag on one of the simpler cribs. his eyes widen slightly at the price and immediately drops it. absolutely not. “because henderson, i’m having a kid,” he says nonchalantly as if he didn’t just drop a total bombshell

dustin looks at him in shock, a nervous chuckle leaving his lips. “you’re kidding, right?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed. 

“nope, y/n’s due in february. so i kind of need to get a move on with looking for stuff,” eddie shrugs, moving over to the clothes section instead. 

dustin is quiet, taking a few minutes to process. “you’re serious?” he asks, still unbelieving. 

a scoff leaves eddie’s lips as he picks up a small onesie, a pout forming on his lips at how cute the little thing is. “dead serious, when y/n gets off you can see for yourself,” eddie informs him, nervously glancing while trying to gauge his reaction. 

he’s silent for a few more minutes until he gasps. “oh my god, gross,” he gags, turning away from eddie. 

eddie looks at him in confusion and picks up a small baby blanket. “what?” he asks, rubbing his thumb over the soft fabric. 

“she’s pregnant! that means you had to, ugk, you had to have, oh god,” dustin holds his hand up to his mouth as he gags.

eddie bursts out laughing as he realizes what dustin was trying to say. “what? did you not think i had sex with my girlfriend?” he laughs, watching dustin squeeze his eyes shut. 

“stop! literally stop it’s like seeing your parents- oh i’m gonna throw up,” dustin goes on, covering his face with his hands.

eddie chuckles and slings his arm over dustin. “it’s life, kid. now, do you think this blanket or this blanket is cuter?” he asks, holding one up before pointing to the other one. 

dustin gathers himself before opening his eyes and looking between the two. “uh, this one,” dustin says, pointing to the one in his hand. 

a smile covers eddie’s face as he nods. “yeah, i think so too. c’mon, i wanna get it,” he says and pats dustin on the back. 

after dustin freaking out for a while, you and eddie decided to just tell the others all at once. will was definitely the most excited, max being a close second. 

week 20

eddie was sat at your dining room, sipping a beer and going over a campaign he was trying to set up. he wanted to get in one last longer one before the baby came and he wanted it to be perfect. it was currently the first week of october and most of hellfire was spending their time in school, but they simply couldn’t go on without eddie as their leader. you were cooking some pasta because you’d been thinking about it for the past few days along with some greens your doctor told you you should be eating. 

a random radio station was playing as your grandma walked out of the kitchen and back to her place in the living room. you hummed along, enjoying the peaceful evening when you felt a small nudge against the inside of your stomach. 

you gasped, hand flying to your stomach as you waited to see if it would happen again. your doctor had also told you that you should feel kicking within the next couple weeks and you wanted to make sure you weren’t imagining it. but then, right where your hand was placed, another slightly stronger nudge caused your tummy to poke out a bit. “eddie,” you gasped, tears filling your eyes as you cradled your bump. 

eddie’s eyes darted up to you as he put down his beer and scrambled out of his seat. “what? are you okay?” he asked as he quickly walked to you. you turned around, a tear falling down your cheek as eddie grabbed your face, his own full of fear. 

you pouted before laughing through your tears and giving him a smile. “little bean is kicking,” you say quietly and eddie’s eyes widen in excitement. 

“actually?” he asks as a smile covers his features. he drops down to the ground and places his hands on your stomach. you nod, grabbing his wrist to place it where you had felt the last kick. you waited in silence for a moment, eddie biting his lip. “hey, little bean, it’s daddy. can you kick for me please? just like you did for mommy?” he coos, stroking your stomach lovingly as he waits. 

then, another kick, and eddie has tears falling. he kisses your stomach over and over again, murmuring to the baby as you stroke his hair. “i need to go show grandma,” you say and wipe your eyes. eddie smiles, wiping his own eyes as he stands and places a kiss to your head.

he stirs the pasta for you as he hears you and your grandma talk excitedly about it and thinks. you had reached the halfway point, and there was so much more you needed to figure out. the only things you had gotten for the baby were a couple blankets, a few onesies, and some toys they wouldn’t even need yet. eddie didn’t want to tell you it was stressing him out, but you didn’t even have a living situation figured out. 

when you came back into the kitchen you noticed eddie’s expression. he was in deep thought over something, and it was definitely bothering him. you grabbed his bicep gently, leaning your head on his shoulder. “what’s up, love?” you ask quietly. eddie shakes his head, snapping out of it and giving you a fake smile. 

“nothing, babe,” he mumbles, continuing to stir the pot.

you roll your eyes at him. “don’t lie, i know somethings up,” you say causing him to sigh. of course you would see through him. 

he leans his head against yours as he tries to gather his thoughts together. “i think i’m just stressed out,” he admits and you nod. 

“i know, love. i am too, but we’ll be fine. i know it,” you reassure him and he closes his eyes. 

he lets out a breath before deciding to tell you what he was most worried about. “babe, i just wanna know what we’re gonna do for a living situation. we have less than five months and just, if we want to find a house to rent we’re gonna need to start now,” he says, the stress evident in his voice. 

you pull away from him to have him turn and face you. “i was actually gonna ask you to move in, just didn’t know the right moment,” you say, holding his hand and swinging it. 

his eyes narrow in confusion. “move in here? we wanna live here?” he asks, attempting to clarify. 

you shrug, chewing the inside of your cheek as you look down shyly. “i dunno, i thought it would be easier. we wouldn’t have to buy new furniture, the office can be turned into a nursery, and lord knows my room needs updated so we could make it our room… but if you don’t want to-” you ramble and eddie cuts you off by placing his lips to yours.

“nah, i think that’s perfect,” he assures you when you pull away. you smile and lean into his chest. things were starting to fall into place. 

week 24

“i look ridiculous,” you whine, stomping your foot like a kid. eddie walks over from where he was buttoning his shirt and looks you over. he smirks instead at your outfit, reaching out to flick one of your udders.

yes. udders.

you let eddie pick your guy’s halloween costume this year and instead of picking a vampire and a mummy (because come on, that would’ve been perfect), he dressed you as a cow and he a farmer. shocking, i know. “i think you look adorable,” he said, reaching up and adjusting the cow ear headband you were wearing.

  you scanned yourself, harshly picking at everything you hated about yourself in this and your eyes began to water. “i look fat!” you exclaim, eddie looking back down to tuck his shirt into his blue jeans.

  he snorts and tears fall from your eyes. he thought you were fat. “well, baby, cows aren’t exactly skinny so you just fit the costume extra well,” he tries to tease, not thinking about how it could come off.

  you burst into tears and let out a sob. “i look like a cow,” you cry, pulling at the extra fat on your thighs.

  eddie’s face drops at your cries. he twists your body to face him and pulls your arms from your thighs. “baby, baby no. hey, it’s okay. you’re beautiful, hunny,” he says, wiping tears from your cheeks and pulling you into his chest.

  “you just said i look fat,” you cry into his chest and eddie frowns, replaying his words. 

  “oh, god, baby. i didn’t mean it like that i swear that. you’re not fat you just got a pregnancy belly. you’re making a baby and you’re healthy for it, you’re exactly where you should be. you’re not fat, shh,” he coos, holding your head.

  you fist his flannel shirt, crying harder. “i’m gross,” you sob, and eddie feels panicked. he didn’t know what to do. he knew this was just your hormones making you overly emotional but he still felt like shit for making you feel this way.

  he kisses your head and holds you tighter. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to make you feel bad. you’re not gross, baby. i promise you look beautiful. please don’t cry,” he begs. why the hell did he chose this for your costume? he was never taking ideas from a magazine again.

  “i don’t wanna go to the party. they’ll all think im fat,” you say into his chest, sniffling.

  he frowns harder, knowing you were super excited for this. “hunny, no they won’t. come on you’ve been talking about this party all week,” he says, pulling you away from his chest to look at your eyes.

  you shake your head no, wiping away your tears and makeup. “m’too ugly,” you cry and eddie’s heart fills with pain.

  he gives you a stern look and grabs your face with one hand to get your attention. “you are not ugly. don’t you ever say that again. you’re beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, and everything else. never say you’re ugly, i never want to hear that come out of your mouth again,” he says, trying to reassure you.

  but his words were very harsh and scolding which caused you to whine and cry harder. you clamped your eyes shut and sobbed as eddie’s stomach dropped. “i'm sorry, eddie,” you cry, feeling like you’d disappointed him.

  “fucking shit,” he groans to himself, getting pissed off at himself for not thinking before talking. “no, baby, no. don’t be sorry. i'm not mad at you, i swear it. i just want you to know you’re stunning,” he tries, pushing some of your hair back. “baby, please calm down,” he whispered, biting on his lip.

  you fell back into his chest and he stroked your hair until you finally stopped crying. “im sorry,” you muttered, throat sore.

  eddie shook his head, pressing his lips to the crown of your head. “stop, you don’t need to be,” he whispers, holding you tight. god damn you hated pregnancy hormones.

week 27

  eddie bit his lip as he nervously tapped his fingers against the counter, waiting for a worker to show up. the store wasn’t even that big, where the hell could they be? just then he saw joyce byers coming up from the back. “oh no, how long have you been waiting?” she asks, feeling bad for taking yet another smoke break.

  “not long, um, i called about the pregnancy pillow?” he said quietly, looking down at the counter.

  joyce beamed, grabbing the box behind the counter. “oh it’s for y/n? how is she?” joyce asked excitedly, punching the price into the till.

  eddie smiles, relaxing a bit. “pretty good, the pains are really starting to hit her though,” he explains, motioning towards the pillow. 

  “i hope they ease up, when i was pregnant with will it was like i was almost always in pain,” she says thoughtfully.

  eddie nods, handing her the money for the pillow. “i hope so too,” he says.

  joyce behind counting his change before speaking back up. “do you guys have anything for the baby yet? i’ve still got some stuff from when jonathan and will were babies if you wanna come look through it?” she offered, handing his change back.

  “that’d be awesome, actually. i’ll have y/n call you,” he says, grabbing the box. he brings it home, walking straight to your now shared bedroom. you’d taken out your old floral pink wallpaper and opted for a darker grey instead. most of the other stuff was the same except for new sheets and another dresser. it’s not like you could focus your money on redoing your room at the moment.

  you were sat reading a pregnancy book while eating chips on your bed when you felt eddie drop something heavy by your feet. “what’s that?” you ask, lowering your book.

  eddie smiles and leans down to give you a kiss before pulling out his pocket knife. “it’s one of those pregnancy pillows, supposed to make things more comfortable so you can sleep,” he explains, cutting open the box.

  you sit up, watching him pull the very squished large pillow from the box and set it on the floor so it could expand. “you didn’t need to do that,” you pout, pushing yourself to stand.

  eddie shrugs and wraps his arms around you. “want you to be comfy,” he says, resting his head against yours.

  you feel the tears well up in your eyes again, and it makes you roll your eyes. “thank you, babe. i love it,” you say and kiss his lips.

  “oh! and joyce told me we can go through some of her old baby stuff and have whatever,” he adds once you pull away. you smile again, loving how excited he was over things.

week 28

  “okay but what are you naming the baby?” steve asks, sitting on your couch with his feet propped up. robin points at you with raised eyebrows, also wanting to know. 

  you place your hands on your stomach and look down. “we haven't really talked about it,” you shrugged as eddie walked into the room. he handed you your juice and you thanked him quietly.

  he sits in the chair across from you and throws his feet on the coffee table as well. “what haven’t we talked about?” he asks, popping the cap off his beer. 

  max jumps in the conversation from the floor. “we wanna know what you’re naming your baby, but y/n said you haven’t talked about it,” she says, looking at him expectantly.

  eddie looks around at everyone’s eyes on him before looking to you. “we haven’t, i mean i assumed it was something we’d think about once they were born,” he says cautiously, hoping not to upset you.

  “they’re just kidding, obviously they’re naming the kid after me,” dustin says, holding his hands up.

  you look at him in disbelief along with the rest. “dustin, i love you like family, but i am not calling my child dusty. i am not doing to my baby what claudia did to you,” you say seriously, causing everyone to crack up.

  “well do you guys have any ideas?” mike asks, finally showing interest in your pregnancy. you look to eddie, also wanting to know if he’d been thinking about it.

  eddie snorts, taking another drink of his beer. “obviously, but they’re staying private. you guys can find out when she’s born,” eddie says, enjoying making everyone mad.

  “she? how do you know?” will asks, seemingly the only one who picked up on it.

  everyone gasps, falling into excited little side comments. eddie rolls his eyes at their antics. “we don’t know, y/n just has a strong feeling it’s a girl,” he explains.

  everyone lets out ‘ohs’ of realization. “wait, y/n, do you have name ideas?” lucas asks, realizing you hadn’t answered.

  “of course i do, but like eddie i’m not spilling,” you tease causing everyone to groan in annoyance.

  “we are talking about them once everyone leaves, right?” eddie asks, pointing to you.

  you laugh slightly at him and nod. “yes, you don’t count dingus,” you reply, causing him to playfully flip you off with a smile.

week 31

you huffed, frustrated tears falling from your eyes as you fell back against the wall. you were trying to put together the changing table you and eddie found at a thrift store and now that you wanted to get up you couldn’t. you looked around at the practically empty nursery and it made you cry harder. you felt like a failure and you hated it. 

you sat, crying continuously on the floor for thirty minutes until eddie got home from work. he heard your cries, sending him into a panic as he rushed from the kitchen towards your cries. “babe?” he called frantically, bursting in the doorway. “are you hurt? what’s wrong?” he asked, crouching in front of you and pulling your hands from your face.

“not hurt,” you cry, wiping your tears and shaking your head. “i can’t get up, i’m too big and i can’t get my fat ass off the floor. please help me,” you cry, holding your hands out to him.

eddie frowns, grabbing ahold of your forearms. “oh, sweetheart,” he says softly, shuffling back to help you stand. you finally get up with his help and a huff. “what were you doing on the floor?” eddie asks, holding each side of your face.

you gesture to the mostly built changing table (which was quite well done to be honest) and sigh. “i just wanted to get this changing table made,” you mumble. 

“babe, you know you’re not supposed to be doing stuff like that. you’re not supposed to put yourself in strenuous or stressful situations, that’s what i’m for,” he says, serious but adding a joke. 

your lip quivers as you feel anger and sadness flood your body. “i’m not stupid, i’m not gonna kill our baby,” you say flatly, grasping your bump. 

eddie lets go of your face to instead grab your arms. “hey, i never said that. i don’t think that,” he reassures you, trying to get your attention. “but really, y/n, you gotta let me do this type of stuff,” he pleads.

“but you were at work,” you mutter.

eddie nods, scanning your face as his brows furrow. “yeah, i gotta be at work, baby. i could’ve done it when i got home,” he tries explaining. 

you shake him off, crossing your arms. “you’re always working,” you grumble, referencing the multitude of doubles, over time, and long hours he’d been picking up. 

eddie glares softly at you. “yeah, i’m trying to make money for us, so our baby can have nice things,” he states, the slightest bit of venom entering his tone. 

“but you’re never home, and-and it’s hard-” you start and eddie scoffs. 

he crosses his own arms, looking at you in slight disbelief. “what? you want me to drop hours so i can lay around with you and wait on you constantly? you wanna be poor and not be able to afford our baby?” he asks with raised brows. 

your hormones make you angry faster and his words punched a whole lot deeper. “i just want you around more, is that a damn crime?” you sneer.

“when i’m around all you do is complain and make me do shit. i’m tired too, you know,” he spits.

“you’re not pregnant! i am, which is your fault by the way!” you say, poking him in the chest. 

he glares at your finger, his jaw clenching. “it takes two,” he says in a deadly low voice.

your eyes flash with the tiniest bit of fear but eddie catches it. he was losing his cool. “i wish it didn’t,” you say with venom. eddie’s eyes show a flash of hurt and then rage. 

“you’re really gonna say that shit just because i work too much? that’s low as fuck y/n. like shit, what the hell is wrong with you? why are you being such a cunt? damn, is the baby even mine-” he starts, his voice raising with his words. 

your face drops at his words. no way he was bringing up the idea of you cheating, again. eddie notices your change in expression and his therapist’s words start flooding his mind. he closes his eyes as yours spill more tears and he takes a deep breath. “i didn’t mean that,” he whispers. you shove him with a sob, causing him to stumble and his eyes to fly open. he wants to yell at you, his fists are shaking, but he makes himself realize it’s you. it’s you and you’re scared. “y/n, i’m going to leave. i need to go cool down,” he says as calmly as he can. 

a sob leaves your lips. “you’re leaving?” you ask in fear, afraid your stupid hormones drove him away. 

eddie pushes past you in order to get out of the house. “just-just for a bit, i’ll be back when i’m calm,” he says, ignoring eye contact and leaving quickly. 

the whole hour he’s gone you spend worrying. you called every member of hellfire, sputtering about him leaving angry but none of them knew where he was. dustin offered to go out looking for him, but the idea of dustin riding around in the dark by himself made you cry harder so you didn’t let him. you had hyperventilated at one point, and now you were just sitting on your shared bed, hugging his pillow as you cried. 

your door creaked open slowly and your head shot up. “eddie,” you cried, pushing yourself up quickly and launching at him. he took in your state and felt his stomach drop. you collapsed into him and held him tighter than you ever have. “i’m sorry, eddie. i love you, i-i know you work so much for us and i appreciate it. i di-didn’t mean what i said, i wouldn’t want anyone else to be this baby’s dad. please, forgive me,” you sob into his chest. 

eddie grasps you tightly, burying his face in your hair. “no, don’t apologize baby, please,” he began. “i know your hormones make everything out of whack and i should’ve thought about that. i know you want me around more and i’m sorry that i’m not. you’re not a cunt, there’s nothing wrong with you, and i know damn well this baby is mine. i was just mad and saying things i don’t mean. i love you so so so much, baby. i’m sorry,” he says, gripping a fist full of your hair as he prayed you wouldn’t hold this against him. the two of you stood in each others arm for a while, trying to get ahold of your emotions

you pull away, shaking your head once you calmed down. “we both said things we don’t mean, but it’s okay. i think… i think you handled it,” you say, trying to show you recognized his efforts. he gave you a heartbroken smile with tears in his eyes. “but,” you say and his face falls again. “for the love of god, next time, tell me where you’re going,” you say, letting out a breath.

“sorry, i will,” eddie says, pulling you back to him. 

you laugh, snuggling into his chest. “had me calling everybody trying to find you,” you sigh into his chest. 

eddie frowns, kissing your head. “i’m sorry,” he whispers and you just shake your head, enjoying his hug. 

week 34

“merry christmas, sweetie,” you heard eddie say before a kiss was placed to your stomach. you smiled, opening your eyes to see eddie talking to your tummy. he looks up to you, smiling and climbing up to hover over you. “and merry christmas to you too,” he smiles cheesily, placing a kiss to your lips. 

“merry christmas, handsome,” you say as he pulls back.

he chuckles and sits next to you. “you know, you can’t try flattering me on christmas morning for better gifts. they’re already bought,” he jokes and you roll your eyes. 

you huff, snuggling back into your pregnancy pillow. “my goal with the flattery is actually to get you to help grandma start cooking so i can shower first,” you say pointedly and eddie groans. 

“fine,” he says dramatically before getting up to put on a shirt. you guys had a lot of preparing to do before the whole crew showed up for christmas around six o’clock tonight. by the crew, you meant eddie’s bandmates, robin, nancy, jonathan, steve, and the kids. was your house big enough for that? definitely not. but you were very persistent on hosting. 

you were hunched over the counter, adding the final touches to your casserole when a sharp pain shot through your back. “oh, shit, ow,” you curse, putting you hands on your lower back and pushing. 

eddie comes over to you and rests his hand on your shoulder. “what is it?” he asks, mildly concerned. 

you pout, looking at him before rubbing one hand over your now huge stomach. “your kid is trying to snap my back with how heavy they are,” you say and eddie frowns. 

“let me help then,” he says, turning you back to your casserole.

you furrow your brows and look back at him. “what are you-” you start, but eddie’s hands grab the bottom of your stomach and lift it upwards, holding the weight for you. “ohhh, my god,” you moan, head falling on his shoulder. eddie snorts at your reaction and kisses your cheek. 

“keep making your damn casserole,” he jokes, and you stick your tongue out at him before doing just that. 

that night was one of the happiest you’ve ever had. everyone was sat around, eating tons of food and sweets and swapping gifts and you couldn’t help but start crying. “you alright?” gareth asks, sipping some hot chocolate next to you.

you wipe your tears and nod, looking at lucas and will fighting over who got the better comics. “i’m just so happy that this baby will have such a big, loving family. like, i know you’re all not blood but… family isn’t just blood,” you say, watching eddie mess up dustin’s hair. 

“that is the cheesiest shit i have ever heard,” gareth laughs but wraps his arm around your shoulder anyway. “but yeah, this kid has an army,” he observes and you feel your heart soar.

week 36

you sat in the rocking chair in the middle of the community room at the library surrounded by tons of gifts. “guys, this is all too much,” you say, pressing your hands to your cheeks as jonathan takes pictures for you.

eddie shrugs from behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders. “i think it’s pretty cool,” he comments, making some of the guests laugh. 

“okay, okay shut up. y/n open my present first!” dustin calls over everyone. you roll your eyes fondly but agree. he claps and runs up, grabbing a big bag and bringing it up to you. “you’re gonna love it,” he says with a big smile. 

eddie flicks his hat causing him to glare. “let her open it, henderson,” he laughs about his eagerness. you pulled the tissue paper out and grabbed the first box out, gasping at the picture. 

“a sling!” you cooed, showing it off. 

“the fuck is that for?” eddie asked, leaning down to look closer at it. 

you swat him and put the box on the floor next to you. “you can strap the baby to your chest so you don’t have to hold them as you walk or do the dishes or something,” you explain, reaching back in the bag. next you pulled out a box of little essentials such as tweezers, a baby thermometer and so on, dustin explaining his mom picked that out. the last thing you pulled out was a very shit-ily, homemade book of coupons for babysitting. “awe, dustin,” you coo, tears coming to your eyes. 

you hold out your arms and dustin gives you a hug, smiling and feeling proud of himself. “yeah, i’m not letting dustin watch the baby,” eddie comments, flipping through the coupons of dustin’s bad handwriting. 

“oh yes we will, once the baby’s a bit older though,” you say, giving dustin a reassuring smile. 

el walks up to the two of you next, shyly picking out her gift. as usual, she was quiet, and she was the one out of them all that you were the least close to. her gift consisted of a few packs of bibs, some binkies, and burping cloths. “thank you, sweetie,” you said, putting them back in the bag and giving her a hug. 

gareth, jeff, and ricky put their money together to buy a really nice baby bouncer and a couple outfits. mike and nancy got you a play mat and some more clothes, and karen bought lots of diapers and that made you cry. lucas got a nightlight, some baby books, and a winnie the pooh onesie.

“alright, unwrap mine,” steve says, shoving the box towards you. you laugh at him and begin tearing off the paper and feel tears leak from your eyes immediately. 

eddie helps your tear the rest of the wrapping paper off and places his hand on your thigh. “steve,” you say with a pout, crying at how sweet it was. 

steve chuckles and pulls you into a hug. “please, why do you think i was pressuring you into waiting until after the birth to buy the stroller? i picked the best one, duh,” he says and you sniffle. 

eddie stands up, pulling him into a bro hug and holding it for a bit longer than normal. “thanks, man,” he says, giving him a genuine smile. robin practically throws steve out of the way and places a bag in your lap.

you laugh at her eagerness but start opening the gift anyway. she had gotten the two of you some toys to connect to the stroller, along with a couple knitted hats and booties and a pack of bottles. “these are the cutest, robin, thank you so much,” you say, admiring the bottles with little elephants on them. 

max stands, bringing her gift to you. you smiled at the cute bath set she had gotten and eddie gives her a big hug, rubbing his knuckles into the top of her head until she starts cussing him. 

wayne wasn't able to make it sadly, but he had already gotten you guys a lot. most importantly he paid for the crib and got you the rocking chair you were currently sitting on.

you didn’t even know where to start with the byers. joyce specifically gave you a nice diaper bag, new crib sheets, and diapers. from will and jonathan, you got a multitude of outfits, some toys, and a some swaddles. your heart was full of love once again because of this group, and you couldn’t wait for them to meet your little one. 

week 37

you pulled the frozen pizza from the oven and sighed, ready to eat your lunch and take a nap. you’d just finished your last day of work and your feet hurt. you put the oven mit down and grabbed the pizza cutter from your drawer and began cutting the pizza. 

all of a sudden, a gush of liquid seeps out of you. you gasp, looking down to see the clear puddle on the ground. at first you thought you just peed yourself, but this was not pee. “grandma!” you yelled, shaking as you look at the puddle. your grandma walks in, seeing it and gasping. 

“your baby’s coming,” she says happily, coming over and taking the pizza cutter from you. “go put on some clean clothes, i’ll call eddie at work, okay?” your grandma says, rubbing your arms.

tears fill your eyes as you shake your head no. “it’s too early, i still have three weeks!” you panic and your grandma shushes you. 

“hey, hey, don’t panic okay? it’s not too early your baby will be just fine, you know you were three weeks early too right? so was your momma,” she comforts you and you try taking deep breaths. “go change, make sure your bag is ready,” she says and you nod, turning and waddling away as she goes to call eddie’s work. 

eddie is flying in the house fifteen minutes later, eyes blown wide in panic. “the baby’s coming?” he asks, stumbling into your shared room. 

“my water broke,” you confirm, sniffling since you were still panicking. 

eddie looks at you for another moment before walking over to see what you were shoving in your bag. “but its-”

“three weeks too early, i know,” you say, wiping your eyes. 

eddie runs his hands down his face. “fuck, okay, woah, shit, this is happening. okay, you got everything, what do i need to do?” eddie rambles. he feels like he’s shaking with nerves and he can tell by your body language that you’re freaking out on the inside. 

“um, i think we can go, i haven’t had a contraction yet so we don’t need to speed. please. don't speed,” you say, grabbing your bag. 

eddie gulps, grabbing the bag from you and kissing your forehead. “let’s go have a baby,” he tries to smile at you and you nod, giving him a shaky smile and grabbing his hand. 

after being in labor for twenty-five hours you were finally able to push. you hated that eddie couldn’t be there with you while you brought your baby into the world, but that was just how it worked in the 80s. thanking every god in the sky, your baby cried immediately. “it’s a girl, momma,” the doctor said with a smile, causing you to cry tears of joy instead of pain. “get her cleaned up and bring daddy in,” the doctor says to her team around her and they nod. 

eddie rushes in the room and to your side, gripping your hand tightly. “you did it, holy fuck, baby, you did it,” he says, tears leaking from his eyes as he presses his forehead to yours. you were laying back flat, still in pain but you didn’t care. you heard the sounds of your baby crying getting louder and eddie’s eyes snapped up as a nurse leaned down to place the little bundle in your arms.

“here’s your daughter,” the nurse says sweetly, and eddie gasps. 

you sob, holding the tiny pink swaddle in your arm. “hi, baby,” you coo, bringing your finger up to stroke her tiny nose as her cries immediately begin to cease while in your hold.

“we have a baby girl,” eddie croaks, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, hunching over to place his hand on the swaddle. 

the doctor stops at the foot of your hospital bed to catch your attention. “she’s a little on the smaller side, but nothing that worries me. we’re gonna take her in a couple minutes for testing, just to be sure,” she smiles at you and the two of you nod. 

you sniffle, watching her little mouth open in a small yawn. “oh my god, you’re so tiny,” you cry and eddie covers his mouth with his hand. 

eddie reaches down, touching her soft cheek with the pad of his pointer finger. “so sweet,” he mutters, immediately in love with the small baby. 

“here, babe, you hold her,” you choke out with a smile, raising your arms. 

eddie bites his lip, terrified to hold her but reaches down anyways. you carefully transfer the baby to his arms and eddie lets out a sob at how light she is. it was all so real now. “oh my ozzy,” he mumbles, tucking your baby into the crook over his elbow. 

they take your daughter for some testing a few moments later, leaving just you and eddie in the room. “so, do we know her name?” eddie asks after he stops crying. he’s holding your hand, stroking your knuckles as he laid next to you. 

you smile up at him and nod. “i think we do,” you say and push yourself up to kiss him. 

melody belle munson

born: january 18th, 1987

weight: 6lbs 10oz

height: 18.9 inches

okay, yep. i'm in love. as you may have noticed, this is no longer a multi-part one shot. it's now a mini series :) i'll start the next part soon and it'll be everyone meeting melody, if you have any ideas for that (or any interactions between any of them and the baby) please let me know.

oh, and just because they're all happy and sweet now... doesn't mean they always will be...

those who wanted tagged/requested this part:

@marvelously-flawed @ayyeitssarahh @llmae @faithsreades @eddie-swhore @its-nowheregirl @moony-03 @fujiihime @asimpwriter @littletittygothgirl @teenyvee @todoroki-slut @whore-for-eddie @andrewgarfieldsspidey @rainazinha @lupitabarber @ladymoxley @aphr0d1teh @kaitioo @eddiemunson-1971 @picklepenis @cherriebat @alexandraoonaghives

#stranger things eddie #stranger things 4 #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #munson #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson imagine #stranger things #eddie #eddie x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #stranger things s4 #stranger things season four #stranger things season 4 #stranger things netflix #stranger things vol 1 #eddie munson dad #eddie munson pregnancy #pregnancy #pregnant #pregnant reader #female reader #reader insert

[rosietaeyongswife]

maps | jjh

genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, secret agent jaehyun x reader synopsis: Your husband was killed year ago by an unknown man. The griev and unsolved case kept you at night. After meeting your late husband's unfamiliar friend, you found new mission in your life. Find out who killed your husband Jaehyun. wc: 7.5k tw: cursing, blood, death, suggestive themes, guns, misscariage, grammar mistakes etc. au: it's been a long time lol there are still mistakes for sure, but i think i got better? at least i'm trying. hope you enjoy this. as always, i made it with jaehyun, because he literally fits every role??? peace yo

"It's been a year, move on." Your father sat down with a cup of tea in his left hand. "I love you, you're my daughter and I'm aware you loved him deeply. We all are. I mean, you can't ruin your life, because your husband got killed. I'm not saying you should forget him, I'm saying you should move on, Y/N. Please."

Seems like it's about 100th time your father brings the topic. Not even mentioning other people in your life. They could never understand the pain you feel. They could never understand how does it feel to lose person you've loved for so many years.

"How am I supposed to move on, dad? Tell me, how? I can't sleep at night, I have to go to therapy and take these pills that makes me weak as a bitch, and I don't even have an energy to talk with you, yet you're here telling me to move on?" Telling him all that felt relieving. Made you feel lighter. "You don't have any idea how it is. None of you! I don't want to see you or mom, coming here and acting as if y'all are my therapist."

"We're trying to help you, you're our daughter. We mean only the best for you, okay? Honey, you can't freeze in time and griev your whole life. Jaehyun wouldn't want that."

"Don't speak about it. You didn't even know him. Leave it, please."

Jaehyun was married to you for almost four years, and these were the best years of your life. You met at high school, then started dating at your senior year at college, and get married two years later. The job he had made your life harder. He was working for Korean Secret Forces, as an agent. High rank, excellent skills and results.

He was supposed to be go on a trip to Japan, when he got shot and killed. No one knows why, nor how did it happened.

"Y/N, you have still a lot to live. Being mean towards us won't change a thing. I'm leaving, if you need something, call us."

Cementary felt like your second home. A year ago, you used to come here everyday for two months, then lesser and now you're doing it once a week. Always brining candles or flowers with you. Your husband deserves to never be forgotten.

Crossing path, you spotted a man sitting by your husband's grave. Walking slowly to see who is it, you saw a face you've never seen before.

"Mind asking, who you are?"

Man turned around, and looked into your eyes. He was about 10cm highter than you, and had white, medium lenght hair. His gaze was strong, and gave you chills.

"You're his wife, right?" You nodded. "Jaehyun was a great man. I've never had a chance to meet you, and talk because of work, but I used to work with your husband. We were pretty close, I guess." He seems to be saying the truth, but you were bit taken aback. You knew majority of Jaehyun friends, but not him. "Jaehyun probably never mentioned my name, I am Yuta."

"Nice to meet you. My name is Y/N." You two shake your hands. "Is there a reason why he didn't meniton you?"

"Listen Y/N, I can't tell you much-"

"He was killed by Secret Forces, wasn't he? It wasn't an accident." You claimed while blankly staring at Yuta.

"How-"

"Jaehyun was too good for a rookie mistake, I'm sure he would dodge the bullet. Answer me honestly."

Yuta sighed. People way above him, or Jaehyun, made an awesome narrative. Most skilled and talented man of Secret Forces got shot by unknown man on his off duty. Unbeliveable lie.

"It for sure wasn't an accident. As I said, I can't tell you much. But I want you to be careful, it's dangerous. Jaehyun found something and it got him killed. I don't want you to die or to suffer, because of that. I promised Jaehyun to keep an eye on you."

Your heart almost stopped, and your vission was blurry. Of course, you had some theories on why did Jaehyun die, but mostly it was his postion in work. Many would kill for his job, and it'd be good reason to kill him. But now, as you're aware it wasn't it, you felt sick.

"What are you talking about? What did he find?"

"I can't tell you, because I'm not aware of everything. I'd suggest for you to not dig into it. Live your life, and don't look for anything, Y/N."

"My husband was killed, because he found something. He was killed, while we have expected the baby! He left me alone, hearbroken and lonely. Don't you think, I deserve at least the reason?"

"Baby? You're mother?"

Yuta was surprised, because he has been following you for months, since Jaehyun knew he was in trouble, yet he had never seen you with a child.

"I had a misscariage. It was thrid month, when Jaehyun died. Due to stress and everything, my body gave up. Awful times." You tried to laugh, but you failed. "I don't want to complain about my life, there's no point. I want the truth."

"Just leave it. Jaehyun died because of your co-called 'truth', so you better move on. Forget about me, and forget we met." Yuta made his way out of the grave, but he turned quickly. "I'm sorry for your loss. About Jaehyun, and your baby. Good luck, Y/N."

The first thing that came to your mind to call Jungwoo and Johnny to meet. Two of them were best buddies with Jaehyun, they had to know something. You demand answers.

"Do any of you know Yuta?"

Jungwoo and Johnny looked at each other, which was obvious for you - they do.

"Why you're asking?" Jungwoo chuckled. "I thought we were supposed to hang out and talk shit."

"I met him today. At cementary, at Jaehyun's grave to be exact." Johnny chocked on his saliva. "Why I had no clue about him?"

"What did he say?"

"Johnny, don't fuckin do it. Answer me, you two, now. I've been gaslighted for a year. Is it some joke to you? To play dumb around me?"

"Relax, it's not that deep."

"Answers."

"Yuta was working with Jaehyun for few months." Jungwoo stated as he was taking a sip of his beer. "He's japanese member of the crew. Yuta Nakamoto was working with Jaehyun on some project, extra secretive thing. We don't know what were they doing, though."

"So, what did he say?"

"Jaehyun found something that got him killed. I told y'all it wasn't an accident. I've known it was a murder. I knew."

"Y/N, you can't just believe in every word he says. We don't know him well, he migh've been lyin-"

"I believe him. Please." You rolled your eyes. "My husband wasn't some kind of a rookie, nope. He was the captain of his crew, soon to be officer. How couldn't he dodge the bullet? In the daylight? And the suspect have never been found. Sounds weird to me."

"There was an open investigation, and we were working hard-"

"Don't bullshit me, right now."

"Even if it's true, stay out of this. It's clearly something he wasn't supposed to know, and look. He's six feet under, now, sniffing the flowers from the other side." Johnny said firmly. The tone was suspicious, and you realize he was nervous. "Can we change the subject?"

Agony. You got rid of agony. In your life there's a new mission. To find the truth. You won't rest easy until you get to know what happened. Why did your husband had to die.

The lock of the attic opened. After Jaehyun's death, police came and took some of his personal stuff. You didn't give them everything, though. There must be something in his stuff.

After an hour, you didn't find much. Some rapports, evidence on minor crimes, suspects, scratches of something, to-do lists, and notes he used to make for you. As when you were about to give up, you found small piece of paper with a phone number on.

"What?" Male voice came from the other side. A bit cold, you'd say. "Who are you?"

"Hey, I am Y/N. Jung Y/N." Silence. "Jaehyun's wife."

"How did you get my phone number?"

"I found it. May I ask, who are you?"

"No, you're not going to ask me questions." Cold tone made you annoyed. "Jaehyun is dead, and here you are calling me. Why?"

"I know Jaehyun got murdered by his company. Please, I need to find the truth. I was looking for clues in his stuff, so I came across this phone number. I need help."

"I can't help you. I-"

"Please. I'll do everything."

Short silence made you believe, he's about to hang up.

"Meet me at 10. I'll send you adress. Alone." He sighed. "If you're from police, you're dead. See ya."

The adress seems sketchy as fuck, but you had to risk it. You felt like throwing up, because of the stress and everything that's about to happen. You were working as a private math teacher, not as a detective.

Area you're in, was abandomen long ago. There were only empty and destroyed buildings around, and not a sound of life around. Suddenly, you felt hands around you and on your mouth. Someone grab you, and took you in one of the building.

In front of you, were two men. One, black hair and bunny-like face, and the other one looked like a character straight from the anime.

"Are you a plug? Police? FBI? CIA? Secret Forces? SWAT?" You remember the voice, it's a guy who you've spoken to this morning. The guy with a black hair. "Answer us, now."

"No? The fuck! I told you, I'm Jaehyun's wife. I swear to God, I'm working as a private math teacher. I have no connection to police, besides my late husband."

"Taeyoung, check her ID."

They took your documents, and in fact, you wasn't lying.

"She's not lying. She's really Jaehyun's wife."

"Fuck." The other male sighed. "I told him to burn my phone number, dumb fucker. Why did you call? What do you want?"

"I want to know what happened to Jaehyun. I met Yuta today, I guess you must know him." They nodded. "I don't know if you're from Secret Forces, but you knew Jaehyun. The note wasn't in his offical case, why? Who are you?"

"I'm Kim Doyoung. I'm a hacker, and old friend of Jaehyun. We got few classes together back in college."

"And you?"

"Lee Taeyong. I'm his best friend, roommate and I used to be Jaehyun's plug."

"Jaehyun had a plug? Why? What?"

"I see you're confused." Doyoung softened. "Yuta must told you to stay out of this case, right? Why don't you listen? You need adrenaline? If yes, go to Bunjee jump. You want to get yourself killed?"

The way him, Taeyong and Yuta were so secretive made your blood boil. Also, the fact you had no idea Jaehyun knew them was even more annoying.

"If your wife got killed, wouldn't she want to know what happened? I demand answers. They can't get away with killing an innocent person."

"As if it was that easy." Taeyong sat down with a gun in his hand.

"You want answers?" You nodded. "Alright. But I don't guarante, you're going to be safe later. I can't promise that." You agreed without a word. "Jaehyun was a right man. He had his morals, and let's say, he didn't agree with few things with his boss and other assholes."

"He was in China, right?" Taeyong asked. "It all started there. During his stay there, and mission an innocent men got killed. He was chinese-korean, living with his wife and two kids. Provider of the family, and taxi driver. Jaehyun got told, he was super dangerous killer who killed around 10 korean soldiers in X Zone. The mission was easy. Get rid of the target."

"So he did. He and his people, including Jungwoo and Johnny. They had no idea, he was completly innocent guy. He was just a taxi driver, who wouldn't hurt a fly. The above wanted to get rid of him to show chinese mob, they don't care. Jaehyun got to know by accident, because he overheard his boss talking about it."

"It turned out, they killed more innocent people. He found corruption, and more evidence on illegal cases in the company. Doyoung hacked the system, and I asked the right people." Your brain was trying to process what they were saying. "There was a case of files tittled with his last name. They planned to get rid of evidence, and frame Jaehyun to become a hitman. Cruel killer, who killed innocent guys."

"What?"

"Jaehyun told them to turn themselfs in. To go to a trial court. Before he even told them, someone snitched on him. We don't know who, but they knew. The above ordered to kill him as soon as possible. I believe it must've been someone from his team. They can't be trusted, Y/N." Doyoung sighed. "Not even Jungwoo, or Johnny. We have no idea how much they know."

Your world was spinning around, and many more questions come with it. It felt as if your life got ruined in seconds. Your husband was always someone, who people looked up to. He hated discrimination, and lack of justice. He knew too much.

"But Yuta is alive."

"Jaehyun never mentioned Yuta. We're sure, they tortured him before getting on that street and shooting him. Someone was supposed to tell the truth, but Yuta can't be another one killed."

"Jungwoo and Johnny, they know?"

"They have to know." Taeyong said with a smile. "Think. They were close, if they didn't then Jaehyun wouldn't trust them. Who knows. Maybe they killed him."

There's no way. Jungwoo and Johnny were best friends with Jaehyun for years. They could never hurt him, not saying about killing him. They weren't capable, were they?

"I need to find the killer, and the evidence. I'll end what Jaehyun has started. I don't care, I have nothing to lose." You stood up, still overwhelmed by all the informations. "Even if it means, I'm going to die. Jaehyun didn't deserve to die."

"Y/N, it's danegrous. You can't put yourself into danger, because of grief and rage. Think about it. You can still get your life together-"

"No. I need to do it for him. And I need your help."

That night, you couldn't sleep. All you was thinking about was your hsuband and guys he was working with. There is no turning back now, you're going to get your revenge. No matter what. But the only thing couldn't let go. Yuta was keeping an eye on you for months, and yes, you had theory someone was following you, or stalking. Few times, you've spotted a shadow in your house. Some car passing your house three times a day. But you could swear to God, the shadow or sillhouete you've spotted was taller than Yuta. Yuta was about 5'10, while the person you saw so many times was for sure taller. Could Jaehyun sent someone else too?

After you left, Doyoung and Taeyong looked at each other sending signal.

"Y/N found us." Doyoung was gripping his phone hard, while waiting until the other person say something. "She called me earlier today. I am sure, she's going to find the killer."

"Don't let her. Keep her safe, Doyoung."

"It's too late now."

"Understood."

Taeyoung looked at his friend stressed. They nodded at each other, and went to their places waiting for next things coming.

"I'm so happy, you're moving on!" Your mother hugged you. "Are you sure about moving out part? It's your house, after all."

"Living here reminds me of Jaehyun too much. I found nice apartament in the centre of city, and I'm going to live closer to the company. Only prons."

"Jungwoo is picking you up?"

"He's already there." Your friend honked. "I gotta go. Let's go. I'm starting new chapter."

"We're proud of you." Your dad kissed your cheek. "Call us when you're in your new place. We're happy for you."

Drive to your new place was really comfortable, Jungwoo was cracking jokes all the time and he was expressing how happy he was for you.

"By the way, thank you. I really appreciate you recommended me for the company and you're driving me to my new place."

"Please, don't. It's just a pleasure to help you, Y/N. I am here for you anytime." He smiled at you. "You know, we are buddies now."

"Yes, dude."

"You sound like Mark now."

"Is it a bad thing?"

"Duh. He overuse 'dude'. Don't be like Mark."

Jungwoo wasn't right. Dude is literally Mark. Mark is dude. There's no Mark Lee without a 'dude' every few seconds. Almost like a comma.

After a month of working in Secret Forces as analyst, you were secured in your spot. No one suspected you of anything. Not many knew you were widow and Jaehyun's wife. Only the above knew, and Johnny, Jungwoo and Mark. You were lowkey about your business, and never mentioned anything harmful to you.

"We're going to hang out and drink sojuu, you're coming?" Mark asked with sparkling eyes. "Please, you always decline. Only me, Johnny, Jungwoo and Taeil. He went to the same University as you, I believe."

"Mark, I have a work to do. I need to do research, and write a raport."

"And you have a weekend for that. Just this once. We're not that bad, after all. Boys wants you to come. C'mon."

"Bet."

Mark left happy, because after 5th time asking, you agreed. By the time he was gone, you could check your other phone. You saw notification popping up on your homescreen.

dy: i need u to go and find login to y'all system dy: asap dy: don't get caught tho

Every single worker have own login, but login of people with high ranks are different each. With a sigh, you left your office and went towards the lift. You waved to few people, you got to know, and went to 14th floor. There must be the office of your boss.

There was no one in sight, so you just went in carefully. He was gettin his daily coffee on 4th floor with his friends, so he won't be there any time soon. You knew there were cameras, but Doyoung took care of that long time ago.

"Fuck. Where's the damn laptop."

As far as you know, they don't use their logins on official PC's, but have their own laptops with a base of every file possible.

Finally, you spotted black laptop on the pile of books in the corner. Looking around, you put USB cable in laptop. Thanks to that, Doyoung can hack everything from the laptop.

dy: i need 2 minutes dy: ok take the cable off, and meet me in your smoking spot behind the building

"I'm going out with boys tonight. After the work. In an hour."

"Be careful, though. Remember, we don't know how much do they know."

"They were best friends with Jaehyun. They couldn't be harmful."

"Maybe you're right, but there's no harm in being careful." He sighed. "I'll check everything, and tell you what we found. For now, be sure no one saw you."

The restaurant was really comfy, and have it's vibe. You felt as you were a kid again with your parents on Sunday's dinner. Nostalgic place.

"The owner is my uncle." Taeil laughed. "He opened the restaurant like 5 years ago? It's one of the best, I swear to God."

"Your uncle?" You were in disbelief. "The food is amazing. I love their dumplings."

"My uncle is the same person as Gordon Ramsey."

"Maybe let's not go there." Johnny cut off laughing. "You're lying."

"Ya, do you doubt me!"

"Gentlemen, stop."

The conversation went smoothly. You got to know, Taeil was your senior while you were freshman in the University.

"I remember the time we were training, and we were supposed to get all 10s with shooting, but Jungwoo missed every single one."

"Ya, really! I got 6, it's not bad."

"You're classified as blind, Woo. Don't you know?" Taeil laughed with Johnny. "He's really fit, but the guns and him aren't good couple."

"I have hidden talent with guns."

"And it stays hidden, Jungwoo." Johnny rolled his eyes. "And you Y/N? Have you ever held a gun?"

"Not really. I am clueless about all the weapons. Even knives. The only knife I've ever came across, was the one to peel the apples. Really."

"Then why did you join us? I mean, our job is almost like American CIA or FBI. I know your analyst, but why here?"

Taeil asked you question, and you froze for a minute. Jungwoo noticed your confused expression, and get you out of the awkward situation.

"Discrimination? Just because she wasn't trained like us means, she can't work with us? Ya, Moon Taeil, I thought you wasn't a jerk."

All of you were laughing, and you were thankful for him saving you.

"No! Sorry, I just-"

"I was bored. Math teacher isn't exciting, right? I found there was a need for analyst, so I applied. I need adrenaline in my life."

"Don't we all?" Mark sighed. "But our job is kinda boring. We don't do much nowadays."

"And nice. We should rest." Johnny took a sip of sojuu. "Let's drink and have a blast before coming back to that shithole in two days."

Two hours passed, and you were ready to come back home. Boys seems to have fun, and they planned to go Taeil's place to have more sojuu and watch movies.

"I really gotta go. I had fun, and I really like you, but it's getting darker." You claimed, while taking your coat on. "Bye."

They waved you goodbye, but Mark stopped you.

"Wait! Jungwoo is totally wasted, and he's asking if you could drive him home. I mean, you're the only one who wasn't drinking." He held his neck. "If no, then we can call the cab."

"No need for that." You smiled. "I'll get his drunk ass and get him to his place. Where's he?"

Jungwoo was sitting on the passenger seat, and he was white as ghost.

"Woo, are you alright?"

"I think Imma throw up." The mumble wasn't clear, and it took you a second to understand.

"Shit, wait. We're going to my place, it's closer. You look like you're about to pass out. You can stay the night."

"Can I?"

"Oh, shut up."

Taking Jungwoo into your place wasn't an easy task. He was 6ft, and his ass wouldn't hurry up, which made you go to the door for about 10 minutes.

"Here, sit down and drink some water." You passed him the glass. "Are you going to throw up?"

"I am not sure."

"Sit there, I'll take a shower. If you need to throw up, there's a bowl under the sink."

Jungwoo saluted, and you chuckled. You must admit, he was kinda cute. You slapped yourself mentally for that thought. You can't think about him in that way, after all he's your dead husband friend.

You came back to Jungwoo laying on the couch with his eyes closed, thinking he was sleeping, you was walking on your tippy toes.

"I'm not sleeping, Y/N. Can you come here?" He opened his arm. "C'mon. Please. I am so drunk, I can't. I need a hug."

"Jungwoo, I don't think-"

"Just lay down, and relax. I'm not going to touch you, c'mon."

Jungwoo made space for you. Being this close to him, made you nervous. It's been a while since you was this close to a man.

"Why aren't you sleeping, dumbass? You look like a ghost.

"Ah, really. I still have a time. You know what, I really respect you, Y/N. I admire how strong you are, and how smart you are. Really. I'm always surprised because of you."

"Jungwoo, don't sugarcoat me." You chuckled. "You're drunk."

"I mean it. I really, really mean it. I'm happy you're moving on with your life. Jaehyun was lucky to have you, you know. I've been jealous of him." You chuckled, because drunk Jungwoo was funny and he wasn't aware of his words. "Don't laugh. We all were jealous of you two."

"Woo, please. There's other couples like that. It's a past. I need to move on, and I did, to be honest. I'm not thinking about Jaehyun that much." There was a bit of truth in that. You couldn't tell others about your plan, so it was better to make them think you really moved on, but at the other hand. You missed being loved. "I think I should date again."

"Ya, that's what I'm saying!" He said confidently with a pout. "I agree. But Y/N. I really like you. We've been hanging out a lot past weeks, and I really like you. I found you pretty and I'd like to kiss you."

Before you could answer, surprised with his confession he was long asleep on his back. Your heart skipped a beat, because you had no clue someone have a crush on you. Someone like Kim Jungwoo. You knew Jaehyun would like you to date one of his friends, instead of complete stranger.

"If I ever pass away, please. Y/N date either Johnny or Jungwoo." He was caressing your cheek. "I know they would take great care of you. I trust them. If you'd date a stranger, they know to kill him, you know."

"Jaehyun don't even say that. Only person I'm going to date is you. Don't talk about your dead, you're not going to die."

"You never know. In this line of work, you gotta be ready for everything. I told them the same thing. Personally, I'd took Jungwoo. He isn't going to work the same job as long as he thought."

"Honey, you're my husband talking about dating your best friend. Let's not."

He chuckled and kissed you. Little did you know, Jaehyun was aware he didn't have much left to live.

"I like you too." You whispered, and fall asleep.

'I left to work. Sorry for the trouble! I don't even remember how did I end up at your place! Not mentioning, sleeping next to you. LOL. I was wasted as fuck. Sorry again! I made you breakfast, hope you like scrambled eggs with kimchi and toast. See ya at work! Jungwoo~'

Smile crept on your face, because it was lovely. It's been a long time since someone made you breakfast. You shook your head, and reminded yourself to not get distracted.

"I found something interesting." Doyoung said while eating cookies, Taeyoung bought. "Look."

He passed you his laptop, and there was files named after Jaehyun and they were marked as top secret. You opened them, and there were synopsis of him and his life. You were also mentioned there as his wife, but not much.

"What's interesting in there?"

"Look at the date of his death. 12th February. He was killed five days later. We have a direct evidence his death was planned."

"I knew it. Who else can open these?"

"Not many. Bosses and officers. There's many suspects, Y/N. I saw someone deleted some files, and I tried to recover them. I'm not sure if it's possible."

"Do your best, please. I am sure, Johnny and Jungwoo don't know exactly what happened with Jaehyun."

"How?"

You could tell he wasn't convinced.

"I just know. They must been suspicious of Yuta, that's why they were nervous."

"Remember, you can't be sure of anything."

"I know them longer than I do you. I can tell when something is off."

"Don't let your feelings take control of you."

"I don't."

Taeyong laughed.

"You're not as trained as we are. No one can be trusted. We're partners, we can trust each other, but them? I'm not sure."

"I shouldn't trust you, since I don't know you. But guess what. I'm doing my best, so please. Shut up." You got up. "I'm going to the company. If you have something, let me know."

As soon as you left, Doyoung called.

"Yuta, keep an eye on her in the company. Especially on Jaehyun's buddies."

"Fuck. I told you to get this idea out of her mind."

"Was I supposed to let her do it on her own, and get her killed? Jaehyun wouldn't be happy."

"She's getting too comfortable. We can't let her know everything, Doyoung. You deleted the files?"

"I did. I sent them."

"Good. Bye."

Kim Doyoung told you, he wasn't able to find the deleted files. You couldn't blame him for his failed mission, since he was doing already a lot. At the other hand, you tried asking people. Mentioning Jaehyun, but no a single soul had any idea about him, or his death.

Boys and you hang out again. This time, you got drunk. You didn't have to do much for work, since you got everything done before deadline. Jungwoo drive you home.

"Ah, Y/N. You're cute when you're drunk."

"I feel sarcasm, idiot."

"It's not." He laughed. "You look pretty. Here we are." He parked in front of your building. "Dummy."

"Kiss me then."

"What?"

"You said I'm pretty. Kiss me or you're lying."

You were way too drunk to care, or to be aware of your words.

"You're drunk-"

"Do it."

Jungwoo was looking into your eyes, the next second his hands cuped your cheeks and he was kissing you. The kiss lasted for few seconds, and it got you warmed up.

"Y/N-"

"Wanna come in?"

On your way to your place, both of you were kissing, not giving a damn about people passing you. It felt as if you two were waiting for this moment to come for the longest time ever. As you were kissing Jungwoo, you couldn't put the key in.

"Let me do it."

Next thing you remember, was the two of you undressing in your bedroom. Jungwoo didn't break the kiss, when he was getting your clothes off.

"I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time." He whined. "You really turn me the fuck on."

"Kim Jungwoo, just fuck me."

Both of you, too busy with each other, failed to notice tall silhouete standing in the dark corner of your place watching you. The man clenched his fists hard, feeling his blood boil. Jaehyun was watching his best friend fuckin his wife. He wanted to get out the shadow, and kill Jungwoo for it. He wanted to scream, but he knew he couldn't. Officialy, he's dead.

"I'll kill him." He whispered, and left as quiet as he entered.

Jung Jaehyun is very alive, and healthy.

Past days were peacful and relaxed, something you couldn't feel for a while. Jungwoo and you weren't dating yet. You wanted to take things slow, because at the back of your head, you could see Jaehyun.

Peace was broken, when Yuta paid you a visit.

"Listen, I don't care what you're doing with who, but I can't agree for you to lose your mind over someone." He sighed. "There's no one you can trust, especially Jaehyun's ex friends."

"The only person I shouldn't trust is you, Yuta. I don't know you at all, Doyoung and Taeyong don't talk about you, nor Jaehyun did. It's logical for me to trust them, not you."

Yuta felt as he was talking to a child. You were stubborn, way too much for Yuta's liking. His Japanese temper was getting real bad with you. He felt hopeless, because no matter how many times, he's telling you to stay away from Jaehyun ex co-workers, you don't listen.

"How do you know they didn't get their hands dirty with Jaehyun? What if they're involved but you don't know? You don't know them, Y/N. You have this pov of them as your husband's co-workers, not as actual people."

"Wait." You paused. "Don't you and boys know somethind I don't? Doyoung also told me to stay away from them. Why?"

"You know I don't." His body tensed up. "For some reason, as you claim, your husband didn't tell anything to them. I know, I know." He rolled his eyes. "It was dangerous, but they were friends for years, Y/N, years. Not even a word?"

Doyoung was walking down the woods, hidden from the city. Not many people visited the woods, because they weren't fameous as other one.

"You're alone?" Doyoung nodded as he entered small house. "What's up."

"You're not going to do anything with Jungwoo? He's fuckin your wife, Jaehyun. It's so painfully obvious. She likes him."

Jaehyun clenched his jaw.

"Not now. I can't just kill him out of the blue. For now, it's alright as long as he's not putting her in danger. I sent Yuta to talk to her, but she's not interested in his advice."

"Y/N is independant. I mean, she left the theraphy long ago, and her main goal is to find your killer."

"Only if she knew what really happened."

"Are you going to reveal yourself?"

"No. It's better if I'm away from her."

Finding a killer of your late husband was draining. Jungwoo didn't have a clue what you're up to. He found you looking through multiple files at night, but he never dared to ask what's that.

Taeyong tried his best at finding answers to your questions, but there were none. He felt like giving up, together with Doyoung. It was complicated to find people, who know something. It was like a never ending task.

"Jaehyun body was never found. I think I'd cry out of happines if he would be alive somehow." You admited to Doyoung, who was sipping on his coffee. "Sometimes I feel like he's still with me. His presence."

"Even after dating Jungwoo?"

"Yes. I can't explain that feeling, but he's there. His ghost, at least."

Doyoung made a mental note to inform Jaehyun to keep it lowkey, since you probably could tell something is off. Maybe Jaehyun wasn't doing great job with following you? It could ruin a lot.

"Ghosts aren't real. You miss him, so your imagination makes you feel like he's here. Simple."

"Yes, I know. Still, I'd like to hang out with him for the last time. Do you know what's last thing we did?"

"Tell us." Yuta said, and you rolled your eyes at him. "I'm just asking, I swear to God."

"We had a fight. Cliche, yes. We had a fight about him not being at home much, because of work. I even thought he was cheating on me, because none of his friends spent so much time at the company as he did." You chuckled. "Then I realized how stupid it sounds, and I apologized. The next morning we were supposed to go to our favorite cafe, but as y'all know. He vanished and got shot."

"Were you supposed to tell him about pregnancy?"

"Of course. I planned to talk with him at our favorite place, and let him know he's about to become a father."

"Life's a bitch."

"Exactly. But for you it's past. Paniful past, but past. Now you're living new life, maybe you really should give up on finding Jaehyun's killer."

And maybe Yuta was right.

"I think I should. I have no clues, and no one knows anything. I am tired. One day I will know the truth, but not now."

"Facts. You have Jungwoo, right? You're in love and-"

"I am not." You cut Doyoung off. "I like him, and he's my boyfriend, but I can't say I'm in love with him. It's far from that."

"Understood, miss."

Your apartament was empty when you come. Jungwoo would hang out with you after work, but today he had to leave to Busan with Johnny. As you were walking around, you heard noise. The first thing you did, was to run for a knife.

"I'll kill you, if you step any further." You hissed.

To your surprise, Taeyong came out of shadow. He was wearing all black, and had a sad smile on his face.

"Easy. I'm not here to kill you, Y/N. I'm leaving Korea tonight." He got the knife out of your hand, and put it down on the counter. "I'm here to tell you what I know."

"What's going on? Did something happened? Someone's after you?"

"Not yet." He sighed. "I got the informations from secret documents, that Doyoung blocked. I don't know why, probably for you to feel safer. I recovered them, and I found something disturbing. The messages from a week ago. The man who killed Jaehyun is about to kill you."

Your vision became blurry, and you felt your throat tightening, making it hard to breathe.

"Do you know who sent them?"

"I don't. They were between two people, they're anonymous. No one can know, but one of them is going to try to kill you anytime soon. Probably this week. Please, stay safe. Be ready for anything, buy a gun, whatever. You can't trust no one, Y/N. I gotta go. It'd be better for you to have security or don't leave your place at night. Don't stay alone, okay?"

"Taeyong, why-"

"I have to, Y/N. I could be in trouble for warning you, plus I don't want Doyoung to get hurt. I'll get in touch as soon as possible, but for now." He turned around. "Lock the door, and find a weapon."

You did as Taeyong said. No one knew about the plan of killing you. No one can be trusted, especially after what Taeyong told you. Not even Jungwoo knew, besides the fact he was sleeping next to you every night. He was keeping you close, but it wasn't enough. You felt scared.

Past days, you didn't notice anyone following you. Mark, and Taeil would drop you off from work since you told them your car is gettin repaired, even though it wasn't true. Yuta and Doyoung didn't sense your odd behaviour. They thought you have tough days with work, since you told them you're giving up at finding Jaehyun's killer. Well, seems like he found you.

"Y/N, dinner's ready." Jungwoo smiled at you warmly. "I made your favorite, and bought wine on my way home. Is that fine?"

"Jungwoo, you didn't have to do all of this. I am thankfull, I appreciate that. You're the best."

"Today is special day. I want us to have the best dinner, and most magical time ever."

"Why?" You chuckled surprised. "Did something happend?"

"No reason, just 7th sense."

Odd. Jungwoo was really happy today, as if something happened. You thought maybe it was because of a promotion, since he was about to level up at the Secret Forces.

"Oh, I think someone is calling me." Doyoung's name popped up on your screen, but Jungwoo was quick to take your phone out of your hands. "Jungwoo."

"Please. Tonight is about us, not about your friends. It's probably not that important anywas. Can we move on?"

Jungwoo was right. Doyoung was calling you pretty often, and you had no idea why. Sometimes he was asking about you, or sometimes he was bragging about some bullshit you had no interest in.

As you were sitting on your bed, you felt kind of dizzy. Your head was spinning, and Jungwoo's voice was hard to hear. You tried to stand up, but you couldn't.

"Jungwoo, what's going on?"

"What do you mean? Nothing."

"I feel-"

You got cut off by sudden banging on the door. Before you process what happened, there was a tall man in your bedroom. Both you and Jungwoo couldn't believe your own eyes.

"Ya, really." Jungwoo hissed. "You're fuckin kidding me, right."

"You wish, motherfucker." Jaehyun's voice made you weak. He was there. Alive. "Leave her, the fuck, alone."

"I thought I killed you, didn't I?" Jungwoo was cocky, and you were shocked. Kim Jungwoo? Your cute Kim Jungwoo, who doesn't even know how to hold a gun was Jaehyun's killer? And Jaehyun's alive? "You're tough cookie, Jaehyun."

"It's not that easy to get rid of me. Now, leave my wife alone and step back before I'll slit your throat open."

"Wow, easy there, superman. I thought you were dead, but turnes out I missed? Fuck. I'll try better now."

"What is going on?" You asked still dizzy. "Jaehyun, you're alive. What happened? Please, tell me." Your eyes got wattery.

"Y/N, I need you to leave the bedroom. Leave the place, and call Doyoung and Yuta. Now."

"Nope, please."

Before you could do anything else, Jungwoo was coming at you with a knife, but Jaehyun pushed you away. You were on all four, creeping out of the bedroom. Seems like Jungwoo gave something in your drink or food. You lost balance, and you were laying down on the floor in the kitchen. Only banging, and grunts were heard from your bedroom. You were losing conciousness, while trying hard to not and to hear what's going on.

"Your wife is good in bed, huh. You have no clue how satisfied I was, knowing I was fuckin what belonged to you, Jaehyun." Jungwoo spitted blood out of his mouth. "I felt glory."

"You sick fucker." He punched his enemy in the face. "Don't mention my wife again. You fucked up our life. I thought you were my best friend. You're a traitor, Jungwoo and you'll pay for it."

"I don't think anyone would believe you." Jungwoo smirked.

"Doyoung have everything on you. Yuta too. They did nothing, because you picked to get close to Y/N. She couldn't know what happened. Not then."

"I knew I should've killed her sooner."

Without any word, Jaehyun got his gun and shot Jungwoo in his head. Bullet went through his brain, making a mess in your bedroom. Jungwoo's liveless body dropped on the floor, on the pool of blood.

You opened your eyes, and closed them right after. It was too light for you, and it was painful. You tried the second time, and you could feel shift on the surface you were on.

"Y/N? Oh, thank God you woke up." Jaehyun took your hand in his, and you felt overwhelmed with emotions. Your husband. Your true love was alive. "I am so sorry for everything, darling. I fucked up, but I am here again. This time forever."

"You're alive. Why did you do it to me? Why did you leave me and didn't come back?" You were crying, while Jaehyun was holding his tears in. "I was waiting for you to come back. Deep down I wasn't done with the fact you're dead. You have no idea what you put me through."

"I did it all to keep you safe. I couldn't risk your life, because of me, Y/N. I couldn't lose you, that's why. I was keeping an eye on you from afar. Doyoung, Taeyong and Yuta helped me. They tried to keep you away from Jungwoo."

"Jungwoo." You whispered. "Is he dead?" He nodded. "You killed him."

"I mean, he tried to kill me first. He was involved in case with taxi driver, and corruption. He was money laundering with our boss, and got big check for 'killing' me. Thankfully, he missed my heart by inches. Doyoung helped me."

"You could've told me. At least warn me. I missed you so much for past year. I thought I'm going to die, because of your loss. Do you have any idea how it is?"

"I don't and I'm sorry. I know your life was turned upside down, but I love you. I always been and I always will. Now, I'll gotta do my best for world to see what happened. I have proof of every illegal thing they've done."

You nodded, and tried to stop sobbing.

"Why didn't you kill Jungwoo back then?"

"Because they said, they're watching you. Before they tried to kill me, they blackmailed me. They had soldiers stalking you, and told me if something goes wrong, you're dead. Then everything is history. Listen, I love you too much. I had to do it for us." He kissed your hand. "I am sorry about pregnancy, I had no idea you were pregnant. Maybe if I knew, I'd stop and-"

"Jaehyun, no." You cut him off mid sentence. "No. It's not our fault. Shit happenes. I got over it a year ago. It's our past. Now I understand your motives. I am not mad anymore, but please. Let's move out from here, and let's start new life somewhere else."

"I've always wanted to live in Switzerland."

"Sounds great."

Jaehyun chuckled, and leant in to kiss you. After all the dark times, you could kiss your lover. Jaehyun was finally with you. Maybe there's still a chance for better days.

#nct #kpop #nct au #nct 127 #nct u #drama #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jung jaehyun au #jeong yunho #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun scenario #angst #jaehyun au #jaehyun x reader #kpop angst #jaehyun angst #fluff #action #thriller #kpop au #kpop fanfiction #kpop fanfic #nct ff #nct fanfic #jaehyun fic #nct fic #jung jaehyun fic

[woneuntonzz]

what's it like to love ? 𓇢𓆸

anton lee x afab!reader (part 5/5)

• part 1

• part 2

• part 3

• part 4

warnings: cussing!

genre: fluff -`♡´- highschool love

word count: 2.8k words!!

[note!!: hiii i'd just like to quickly say that this is my first post ever and i'm still a bit insecure with my writing, and english is not my first language so bare with me now 🙏 open for any forms of feedback

please do take note that i will take longer to update/respond to anything because of school, thank you!!! ]

[Day 99]

It's been a few weeks since your senior year began, though, the path to take after overcoming highschool is still a little unclear to you. Still, you don't rush yourself. 

“Psychology's quite interesting.” you said as your fingers glided through the array of vinyls.

“You wanna be a therapist?” Anton was at the other side of the tall steel shelf that divided the two of you.

Your fingers stopped on a vinyl of your favorite The Smiths song. You walked over to the record player, just in time when Queen had sung the last lines to Don't Stop Me Now.  Anton crept up behind you and laid his hands on your shoulders.

“That song reminds me of the time when I first fell for you.” he would whisper in your ear.

You turned your head and looked up at him with raised brows. “Really?”

“Yeah. I've liked you since freshman year. I can remember very vividly. I felt so tired from training at the time and kinda hated that I still had to go to school the next morning. I was sleeping in the classroom during lunch time, and, like, I had my head down and couldn't see anything, then I suddenly heard you singing 'There's a light, and it never goes out'.” Anton sang the last part right into your ear.

When the record started to play the song, you turned around to face him.

“How'd you know it was me if you couldn't see?” you posed him a question followed by a low chuckle.

“That's the thing. I wanted to know who it was so bad, but I didn't know how. I'm still a total loser at the end of the day.” His words got you shaking your head at a mild pace, laughing. “I guess it took me about 3 weeks to figure it out. You would always sing it randomly. At some point I thought you were doing it on purpose to get to me.”

Disbelief was displayed on your face as you looked at him. “Wow, I can't— why would I even try to 'get to you' when you never even talked to me unless you really needed to.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just that —well, I just thought you were like the other girls back then that snuck love letters underneath my desk and stuff.” your smile grew to a cackle that infected him.

The sweet sound of your harmonious laughter and the music marked another halcyon for the two of you to look back on.

“Okay 'Mr. Chick-magnet'.” you joked as you hugged his waist and buried your face in his chest.

As a response, he wraps an arm around your body, and the other would reach behind your head, caressing your hair as the two of you slowly and subtly swayed to the music. 

You two have been together for almost 3 months now. Not much has changed since then other than being more open and touchy with each other and no longer caring if people gave you piercing looks for being so enamored towards each other.

The record store would end up being a hotspot for you two —though, it would only be when you weren't able to go to your grandfather's flower fields. The record store owner grew fond of seeing you and Anton lost in each other's visage, and the music. He saw the way you would stare into each other's eyes and wondered what kind of film played in them to cause so much immersion from the two of you. 

“I thought it was easy to play the cello.” you mumbled against his chest.

“Yeah. It is, you just don't know how.” you giggled at his light-hearted retort.

You looked up at him with gleaming eyes.

“Am I a bad teacher?” he asked softly.

“No, not at all. I guess I'm just really distracted.” a chuckle escapes his mouth by the end of your answer.

“Distracted by what?” he prodded at you with his words, and his eyes as he pressed his forehead against yours.

You grin knowing both you and him already know the answer to that.

“By you.”

He took you to his house after another one of his swimming matches. Well, it was actually his mom who had asked you to come to their home for dinner and drove you along. Anton wordlessly thanked his mom for inviting you over, he wanted to do so himself, but he got scared you would decline. 

After dinner, he took you to his room and there you finally saw the cello that would always be in the background when you two facetimed, that he sometimes would play to you through call. He played you your favorite ballad and asked you to sing to it. His mind would adrift from the walls of his room and would follow the mist of your dulcet voice. You loved the way he closed his eyes as he played, and how he'd slowly flutter his eyes open to meet yours. His sobriety shattered as he got drunk in your grace and how your head would tilt to peek in his reverie, and it almost slipped out of his mouth —I love you, but something held him back.

After a while, he would go on to teach you. He'd position himself behind you, and guide your hands with his own. His hands would linger on your skin which made you unable to follow his directions or comprehend anything he said clearly.

After everything that went down, he truly never wanted to let go of your hand as you stepped into the gate of your own home. His smile urged you to drag him along with you, but you resisted, and gave him a quick peck on his cheek before saying goodbye.

“You know when you'd always lecture me on the lessons I can't understand?” 

You and Anton were now seated on the little sofa in the store, you laid your head on his shoulder as he played with your hands.

“Hmm~ what about it?” you asked him back.

“At some point I constantly lied about not getting it so you can teach me over and over again.” he says, almost in a laugh, laying his head against yours.

“Are you saying that because I jokingly called you stupid one time…” you felt him frantically shake his head.

“No! I'm being for real.” he laughed.

“Yeah, okay…” you kept your wary tone from which he dragged your hand near his mouth and bit it lightly. “What are you doing?” 

You two were giggling against each other. It was only with each other that you reached true serenity. You were lucky to have the record store all to yourselves. It would always be empty —at least at the times you'd visit— as if it was being reserved for the two of you. 

————— ୨୧ —————

You sat on your desk, typing out an essay given by your English teacher as an assignment to be submitted the next day. You hopped on a call with your friends who were given the same assignment.

“Our essay topic is just 'memories', she just gave us that word, said nothing else about it and left!” Yuna grumbled.

“Tell me about it. Anyways, what topic was given to your class Y/n?” Liz asked.

“Love. Just love.” you replied, continuously typing on your laptop.

“Dang. That's kinda easy.” you couldn't help but grin at the slight frustration in Liz's voice.

“'Memories' is not that bad. You're both school journalists, you can do it!” you gave them words of encouragement in hopes that they'd start to restlessly type too.

“Okay, okay. Game mode on.” 

You couldn't stop your lips from forming a smile as you read through what you had already typed. The only reason this was easy for you was because of the given topic. It gave you the opportunity to give an answer to the life-long question you've had in your head. 

“Finally finished! I feel so tired. I'm gonna head out first, I might bang my head against my desk if I don't go to sleep, bye lovies! See you tomorrow!” Danielle yawned before leaving the call.

“Me too guys hehe.” Yuna spoke. 

“Y/n? you're still not done?” Xen asked.

“Yep. Just doing revisions. I'll be done in a few minutes.” you were in fact not done, not doing revisions just yet, you just had a lot to say.

“Well, let's end the call and get some sleep. Go to sleep as soon as you finish, yeah?” you looked over to your phone screen and gave Xen a dozy nod. “Okay, bye babes!”

“Bye-bye!”

“See y'all tomorrow!”

You turned your attention back to your essay, deep in thought. An idea suddenly crossed your mind. You would finish your essay, but would end up sleeping way later as your head ran with thoughts about tomorrow.

————— ୨୧ —————

[Day 100]

You woke up to your mom assisting you to the kitchen to eat breakfast. Your temperature spiked up and you felt light-headed the whole time. It was still early in the morning, but you were already receiving sought messages from your friends, including Anton. 

You chuckled before getting up from where you sat. You realized it would take you all the strength you had to get to your room to retrieve your laptop, still, you persisted and was back in the kitchen with your laptop within minutes. You hurriedly sent him the file, but then you remembered. You had intended to give it to him after it had been graded by your teacher —as a love letter. It sounds cheesy, but there's more to that. It contains your genuine thoughts and feelings, the big and the small that you languished over, and most importantly, it contains the words both you and him have yet to utter. 

It was really only recently when you'd find yourself thinking about it. Maybe it's too early —was enough to shut down your thoughts. It had only been 2 months, but you happily embraced his affection, his words, his voice, his touch, every moment with him felt enchanting to you. You were certain he felt the same and he would often express it with his eyes and the placement of his hands and indirectly if he was being vocal. The shared passion for one another was undeniable, and it only seems to be growing more and more as time goes by that even after the first heated argument you've had with him a while back, you two were able to recover and came out better than ever. 

“Eat well hun'. It's better if you lay for the rest of the day.” your mom went over to you to caress your hair.

She had decided to call in sick for work to take care of you today, and you couldn't be more thankful.

You did what your mom advised you to and the whole day, you laid on your bed as you listened to the playlist Anton put together for you for your first monthsary to help you sleep or relax yourself. 

————— ୨୧ —————

When you woke up, the sun was already setting. You weren't feeling any better from when you had fallen asleep which frustrated you a bit. You stood up and stayed there for a little bit, feeling dizzy. You suddenly heard a knock at your door. You weren't sure if it was your hazy mind making up the sounds or if it was real, but you still took weak steps to the door to answer it.

“Tonii?” you were engulfed in Anton's arms the moment you opened the door. “Why are you here?”

Anton didn't speak and led you back to your bed. 

He had that look in his eyes again. It was the same eyes you saw that night at the flower fields. 

“I love you too.”

Your heart was throbbing loudly and it was the only thing you could hear right after Anton's voice faded into your soul. 

He didn't wait for you to respond as he knew you were feeling too weak to continuously speak, and so he cupped your cheek with his hand, while the other held your hand as he leaned in for his lips to slowly collide with yours.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

It was Anton's first time going into the student council office without you. He stood by the printer quietly trying to brush off the student council officers eyeing him as if he was eating up all the printing paper. He immediately rushed out once he got your essay printed. 

He still couldn't believe the length of your essay as it was three pages long, even then, he was intrigued and wanted to read what you had put that made it so lengthy. 

He decided to stay back in the classroom a little longer when lunch came around. He sat on his seat with his back against the wall next to him and started to read. 

What's it like to love? an atypical query to have as a child, as you would think most in the age of innocence could only make time and thought for leisure and the attainment of joy, but young minds are always curious. The very first time I caught a glimpse of love was in the form of a field of flowers…

Anton was hooked and mesmerized with your potency.

…It was from it that I realized that if you truly loved, any ounce of pain, blood, or sweat will be overlooked. I failed to completely understand it back then, throughout my years of adolescence, I've had my fair share of misfortunes when it came to love. I was easily convinced that what I was feeling during those times were love despite the lack of sincerity from those who had taken my heart for granted. It took some time to accept that being 'young and stupid' is not just a phrase being thrown around as an excuse, but it's an indication of vulnerability. I had my time to heal and embarked on a journey to self-betterment, and I thought maybe love is waiting for me at some other point in my life, and this thought would later be contradicted…

Anton flipped over to the next page with a vivid mind.

…I am admittedly afraid of what the future holds. This man that had me smitten was one I never even acknowledged fully until much later. I had no idea what took so long for me to see him when he's been around since I've begun recklessly handing my heart out to others. To think back, if I had handed him my heart back then, maybe I would've been spared from all the tears I have shed because I know he would hold it dearly, close to his own…

…feelings I have never felt before, that I never even knew of, are now all I yearn for when the sky's painted black. It was with him that I understood what it was truly like to be appreciated, to be loved with no conditions. It's a pain to think that it could all disappear with a blink of an eye, but when he holds me close and looks into my eyes, I am assured. What's it like to love? to love, is him. It is he, my love, my one and only. I had liked you for 100 days, and today I declare, I love you, Anton Lee.

Your words plunged deep into his heart. Seeing his name after those words made him feel dazed, warm and just so, so in love. He wanted to see you, to feel you. He looked over to your empty desk and could see the specter of your smile against the light of the sun.

It had seemed as though you had written him a love letter with not much intention of receiving a high mark for your sleepless effort. But even if this task was not assigned, you would still plan on expressing everything you had written to him directly, for the 100th day. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You pushed Anton away gently, and very weakly so. You weren't able to actually make him back away, but he got the message and pulled back. 

“You're gonna get sick too.” you faintly voiced out your worry. 

Anton bit his lip and proceeded to make the heat in your body rise even more as he smiled. He gently pulled you closer to him, laying your head on his chest and wrapping you with his warm embrace.

“I love you so much.” he uttered under his breath, burying his face in your hair.

You just remained quiet, and snuggled even closer to him. Your arms would lazily make their way around his neck, and you would look up and express your love with your lips once more.

Anton went home with a sanguine tint on his cheeks, feeling so warm and fuzzy inside. Let's just say the warmth would become more literal than figurative, and you would definitely be the one to visit him the next day.

Fin.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

#riize #riize au #riize fanfic #anton lee #briize #riize anton #riize fluff #riize x reader #Spotify

[ohforficsakelibrary]

Woodsmoke

masterlist

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Gender Neutral Reader. No physical descriptions of reader beyond having hair. Reader has a cat. Established but new-ish, implied long-distance-ish relationship.

Summary: Life has been running you ragged lately, but someone is waiting for you when you get home. For a moment, you don't have to be strong.

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of difficult family life, attending therapy, absent parents, wounded inner child, loneliness as a general theme. If I've missed anything, please do tell me.

Word Count: ~1.6K

Rating: General? Two curse words and some kissin'. The remainder of my work is 18+ / minors DNI.

A/N: I do not know about y'all but I have been going through it lately. And Frankie Morales is my comfort character. This is not along the lines of my usual writing, and for that reason, I haven't tagged anyone. But I'm sharing it on the off chance that you, like me, just need a hug. I know this time of year isn't the easiest for a lot of us, and I hope maybe this gives you a little comfort. Comfort!Frankie, if you will. Please heed the warnings and read with care.

You are worthy of love.

You don’t have time to cry.

Not right now, on this highway, snowflakes flying towards you like crystalline stars at a speed twenty miles per hour slower than the speed you’d be moving at if they weren’t.

You can’t see the lines on the road even without tears in your eyes.

One thing at a time.

Like everything lately.

Just follow the tracks of the car in front of you until it gets you home.

Home to your house that’s empty save for a grumpy tabby cat.

Most days you swear your existence hinges on his.

He’s been your thing to look forward to for the last fifteen years.

Well, and Frankie is visiting this week. 

Provided that this storm doesn’t shut the airport down.

Fuck.

It’s not that you hadn’t been doing well without him. 

It’s that you hadn’t been doing well.

Too long without a mental break. Exhaustion that seeps with the cold into your bones.

Too many things on a to-do list that you can’t bring yourself to do on the weekends because it’s too long and your own time is so short.

Maybe it’s some malefic arrangement of stars and planets, perhaps.

You haven’t even started buying holiday gifts. 

And it sends you face-first into the dread of making a trip back home.

The place that was supposed to be your home.

And dread is the correct word, even if your therapist says you're making real progress. 

See, the thing is, your therapist doesn’t have to sit in the contents of the box of shit you dug out from the corner of your brain and emptied all over the floor of your mind.

She only helps you sort through it every other Tuesday.

It was in the box for a reason.

It was easier to carry that way.

_____

When finally you pull into your driveway and step out into fresh snow, it’s the smell that hits you first.

Woodsmoke.

Someone has started up the wood stove so that you don’t go cold, but you hadn’t been expecting company. You figure it’s your best friend who has a key and a standing invitation, and you’re not necessarily opposed to them being here. 

Sharing a bottle of wine would probably do you some good.

You stomp snow from your shoes and step inside to offer your layers to the hooks on the wall of the mudroom before you catch sight of the boots in the tray as you toe yours off.

“Frankie?!”

“One sec, babe!”

Frankie.

You wrench open the door that leads through to the kitchen and catch sight of him in front of the sink where he’s draining steaming water from a pot of pasta.

He looks up at you across the kitchen and winks.

“Frankie,” you breathe and he quickly pops the pot back onto a dead burner, slinging oven mitts off a fraction of a second before you collide with his chest.

“Baby,” he whispers, locking you in with an arm around the small of your back and the other at the nape of your neck. 

He smells of woodsmoke and cedar and Frankie.

Smells like home.

“You weren’t supposed to be here for another two days,” you pull back and look up into brown eyes framed by mirth-filled creases.

“I was keeping an eye on the weather,” he urges you against him again to nuzzle into your hair, “didn’t want to wait. There’s another front coming behind this one. Took an Uber from the airport. Got in about an hour ago.”

Pilots and their forecasts.

“I’m glad you didn’t wait.”

“So am I,” he tilts your chin up and presses his lips to yours. Soft and sweet. Perfect.

“I made pasta, thought you’d be hungry when you got in.” He grins against your mouth before turning back to the stove to stir tomato sauce. “There wasn’t much in the fridge, but there’s plenty for tonight.” Frankie turns off the burner.

And it’s so new, having a man in your kitchen. 

Making you dinner.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I haven’t had the chance to go to the store,” you rake a hand through your hair as he winds a corkscrew into a bottle of wine.

So new, having arms to fall into.

“Don't apologize, babe. We’ll go tomorrow,” he sneaks another kiss as he fills your glass, one hand absently rubbing your back as he does. “Oh, I also fed the cat,” he points to stacked tins of cat food near the fridge, “from that, hope that was okay,” he fills his own glass. “He was hungry and he was insisting on spaghetti but I figured that’s not…”

“Thank you.”

It’s not more than a trembling whisper.

Because you’re fighting back tears.

This man warmed your house and poured you wine and fed your cat and made you a meal.

Because he cares.

Someone cares.

For you.

“Oh, hey no no no, cariño, what’s wrong?” He replaces his glass on the counter and cups your face in one massive palm.

Soothing with a gentle thumb over your cheekbone.

“This is so nice,” you breathe and the tears finally blur his face. “I just—no one has ever done this for me before.” 

It leaves your mouth slowly, like you're not even sure if you can say it.

If you're allowed.

Your view is quickly replaced by the grey and red of his sweater.

“There’s nothing I’d rather do, baby.”

And it makes your chest heave with the sobs you can’t hold in any longer as you wrap your arms around his waist, sinking into the way he presses you tighter against his heart.

The wool of his jumper eager to collect all of the tears you haven’t had time to cry. 

Because time stands still here, wrapped tight in his embrace.

And Francisco isn’t afraid of your mess.

“It’s okay, baby. You’re okay.”

He doesn’t ask.

Instead, he tiptoes around the debris of that box to where you weep in the center of the chaos.

To where the child sits with hot tears streaming down their face.

And he looks straight into the heart of you with eyes as soft as the toy you clutch to your chest for comfort.

And offers himself instead.

He offers the breadth of his chest and the strong panes of his back. The vice grip of his arms and the gentle soothing of a palm.

He offers his whole self.

In the stead of the affection you were never given and so learned too well to do without.

In the stead of the wire-framed mother.

In the stead of the shell that should have been a father.

In the stead of all of the unkind words you clung to in the belief that they must be true.

For why else would they not love a child in the way that a child needs love?

For why else were you left lonely for so long?

And the back of your throat goes sore with the burn of his kindness.

Kindness that you still don’t believe you deserve.

“Put it down, baby. Let it go.”

Where Life asked you to soothe yourself.

“I’m here.”

Life offers him to you now. 

For Life, it seems, has taken pity on you.

Or perhaps It grew weary of how your grief made It ache.

“I’m here now.”

And so It proffered this apology.

One that you accept in the form of skin and muscle. Bones and blood.

A soft-hearted one with big kind eyes.

And Frankie holds you until the sobbing eases.

And thumbs the tears from your lashes.

Plush lips soften into a crooked smile.

"Are you hungry, cariño?" Whispered softly.

"Yeah," you murmur because you suppose you are.

"Can we sit by the wood stove?" He turns you towards the living room and lays a kiss at the crown of your head.

"Yeah, yeah of course."

"Good, because it's fucking freezing." And that finally pulls a laugh from your throat. "Go on," he smacks you lightly on the bum, "I'll bring you a plate."

You grab both glasses of wine and toss a few throw pillows on the floor before Frankie settles next to you with two shallow bowls heaped with pasta.

_____

When you've finished dinner, plates stacked on the coffee table, cat napping on a throw pillow near the pair of you, Frankie sits back against the sofa and pulls you to sit at his side.

"I'm sorry that I..."

"No," Frankie cuts you off and wraps an arm around your shoulders. "Don't ever apologize to me for feeling, baby."

And you stare down into the dregs of your wine.

"Promise," he prompts with a nudge of his arm.

You look up at him through tired, but grateful eyes. "I promise, Frankie."

"Good," and he kisses you slowly, all warm lips and soft moans.

He regales you with stories from his latest trip until you settle in against him, head tucked under his chin. Lulled by the rise and fall of his breath.

You let him hold you here, with one arm wrapped around your shoulders.

Safe by the gentle heat of a dying fire.

You'll be yourself again tomorrow.

But tonight you allow yourself this.

Frankie kisses into your hairline as you drift between this word and sleep. Your weight against him is soothing as he finishes the last of the wine, eyes trained on the windows beyond, tracking the path of snowflakes on their way to meet the earth again.

"Te comprendo, cariño," he murmurs, resting his cheek against your crown.

"Y creo que te amo."

#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x gn!reader #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #tw: loneliness #ohforficsake #I definitely cried while writing this #so I'm sorry if there are mistakes #this was wholly unplanned

[aishnico]

#𝙎𝙇𝘼𝙎𝙃: 𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳

» summary: you tried various ways to save your marriage. and just when you gave up, all of your world turned upside down

» word count: 2.7k

» warnings: angst, london and cash are your sons, cheating, grammar issues

late 00’s

"so, is he coming or..?"

"i don't know." you simply replied and buried your face in your palms. "he said he'll try to come but, i don't think he will."

"it's been 8 sessions. 8 weeks, that means 2 months. you two have been coming here for two months and," your therapist softly sighed, trying to find suitable words. "i believe he hasn't tried to change your shared, troublesome situation. since the beginning."

you rubbed your temples. "so you're saying that he had made up his mind a long time ago?"

"i'm afraid so." you both sat in silence.

you and your husband, saul, had problems in your marriage. and since you wanted to save it, you tried to find various ways. cooking his favorite dishes more often, helping him with the simplest and hardest things, listening very carefully about his day, job, tour, seducing him, and having sex more often...

but those acts didn't change too much. so for the final solution, you found a marriage therapist and started your sessions. as time went by, he started to not join you sometimes and you've been coming here all alone for a month now.

"i tried everything i could. i tried to show him my love for him in various ways. with more acts of service, more physical touch, more quality time, more words of affirmation... i don't know what should i do now. should i rip myself out? will this be enough for him?"

"no, of course not. even though his love for you ended, it doesn't mean he wants to see you harmed."

"i... i think i know the reason. i'm just, not pretty anymore."

"nonsense. you know i only say things you need to hear, not what you want to hear. and i'm saying, you look mesmerizing by your age. it's not about look."

"then what is it?!" you raised your voice a little bit with teary eyes. suddenly your stomach started to hurt your insides. your therapist looked at you with pitiful eyes.

"i couldn't manage to get to know him enough to say this but, maybe he just doesn't want to be tied to responsibilities about his family?”

"i don't want it to end." you hopelessly mumbled and tried to calm yourself and your body down.

"[name], it doesn't matter if you want to continue or not, he already ended it a long time ago."

"we have kids. we have two sons."

"that's just improving my point."

you didn't say anything in return. you just closed your eyes and started to assimilate things you don't want to still accept. and a sudden disgusting urge was alerting you again.

you stood up and covered your mouth. "i need to go to the bathroom." then left the room in a rush.

after a couple of minutes, you returned completely unbothered.

"are you okay?" your therapist asked worriedly.

"yeah, it was just a throw-up. i'm sick these nowadays. flu, you know?"

"i don't think throwing up is a symptom of flu."

"no, trust me. my stomach is sensitive. it pains in the slightest illness. maybe that's why saul doesn't want me. i'm like an old lady now."

"[name], we talked about this by just now. and you shouldn't have come here.."

"don't worry, it's fine. i'm heading home straight."

"that's good, take care of yourself."

"thanks, you too. it was nice to talk with you these past months."

"same goes for me." you two hugged and you opened the door. and saw your youngest son, cash, laying his head on his older brother's, london's, shoulder. and london was playing with a phone. when he saw both of you, he gently pushed his brother's face away and stood up in front of you.

"thanks for the phone, ma'am." he gave the phone to your therapist. "you have cool games on there.

"wha- london! when did you- you should've asked mine instead!" you scolded him.

"it's alright."

"yeah. besides, your phone is boring, mom."

"yeah yeah, go wake your brother."

london gently shook cash's shoulder a few times. he then slowly opened his eyes. god, he was looking like an angel. both of your boys were looking like angels in front of your eyes.

"mommy, can we go now?" he asked with a sleepy voice.

"yes sweetheart, we're heading out now." you offered your hands to your sons and both of them immediately held it.

"can we go to mc donalds?" cash asked excitedly.

"we have food at home." you simply replied.

both of them snorted. "you're so boring..." he mumbled.

"uh huh," you shrugged off.

"meegan is way funnier than you," london added.

"yeah sure. wait, who's m-" your voice had cut off since you suddenly fell on your knees and the earlier urge was hitting you again with pain. and before you realize your body has become unconscious.

"mom!"

you slowly opened your eyes at a hospital. you didn't think the situation might end here. while still trying to wake up, you heard two voices of children.

"mom, you're awake!" london cheered and hugged you without harm.

"i'm so sorry mommy, we shouldn't have said them." cash jumped on your stomach and you let out a low whine.

"it's okay, we're all good." you both caressed their hair and planted a kiss on each of their head.

"all right boys," a doctor entered the room with a smile. "i think we need to talk with your mommy so..." she showed the door to them.

"nuh uh, we're not leaving mommy." london tightened his grip on you and frowned. "yeah!" cash supported him.

"boys, you know mommy's been sick a few weeks. i need to speak with the doctor to know what's wrong with me. it won't take so long, okay?"

they both sighed heavily and looked at you with big puppy brown eyes. "okay..." they both walked out of the room.

"are you feeling any pain right now?" the doctor approached you and asked. you shook off your head.

"good, what's your complaint?"

"it's just um, my stomach. i started to throw up frequently even though the food was not the problem, or my work/sleep schedule. and stomach spasms..."

"huh, i would want to say it might be flu or cold but the problem is not in your throat or nose. are you periods regularly? when was the last time you had?"

"it was like..." you stopped. "i, don't remember. maybe more than a month? but skipping a week shouldn't be a big problem."

"sure, it happens. are you active in sexual activities?"

"i used to be. like a month ag- wait, no. no, no, no, no... it can't be."

"why not?"

"i'm in my 40's. i can't bear a child. it's a low chance."

"like you said yourself. it's a chance."

you grabbed the sheets tightly and grimaced. you? pregnant? only when pigs fly from now.

"i gave birth to two children. i birthed the eldest one with my womb, but with the youngest one, i had to do cesarean. i had no choice. and since then i have had regular stomach spasms. and right now i'm going through a rough time with my husband. it's so stressful for me. can those might be the causes of my pain?"

"of course they can. but don't forget, women who had cesarean can get pregnant again and even can give birth with their wombs."

you felt cold sweats dripping down from the top of your head.

"it's okay. like you said, the causes might be personal too. rest now."

"can i talk with my sons?"

"sure." the woman replied before opening the door for them. your sons immediately returned to their first place.

"we were so worried about you, mom." london expressed with a gloomy tone. he was lying on the left side of your lap while cash was lying on the other side. he has already fallen asleep.

"i'm sorry, angel. but i'm completely fine right now, trust me."

"we even called dad."

you furrowed your eyebrows. "dad? and what did he say?"

"he said he's on the way, gonna pick all of us."

"good. maybe we can go to mc donalds."

"you said we have food at home."

"ha ha, yeah i forgot. didn't you guys say i'm boring?"

"well, not completely. we're just saying this when we don't get what we want."

"who's that meegan by the way?" you mentioned this again.

"huh, who?" it was cute how he was pretending like he didn't know.

"london..." you give him a small smile and looked directly into his eyes. he immediately turned his head away.

"i can't- ugh... i broke a promise." he pouted.

"what, promise? listen, baby. i'm going through a difficult time and i'm expecting you to help me a little bit."

"fine, one day when you weren't home, me and cash went downstairs and saw dad with a black-haired woman on the couch. her name is meegan. when we asked who she was he told us that she was an old friend of yours and dad wanted to make a surprise for you. so we promised to not tell you anything."

you were utterly in shock and too stunned to speak. saul, was using your sons, to hide his new plaything? you've never met someone named meegan, so who was she?

"mom..?"

"oh," you didn't realize you zoned out. "i'm sorry, sweetie. i was just trying to remember who was she."

"have you remembered?"

"uh, i don't think so. you know what? let's pretend that we didn't have this conversation just now. i didn't hear anything nor know anything. alright?" you winked at him.

he smiled and nodded. just in time, your husband rushed into the room with a sweaty, frightened face.

"[name]..." he walked toward you with big steps and hugged you tightly. like never wanting to let you go, or it was just your delusions.

"are you okay?" he asked worriedly and pulled himself off you. he put his calloused hands on your cheeks and gently caressed them.

"i'm completely fine. i just passed out, nothing more." you gave him a fake smile.

"i was so scared, i'm sorry." his voice was shakening.

"for what? you didn't do anything wrong. i'm fine, saul. believe me."

he sighed and looked deeply into your eyes. "if you say so," he looked at the boys who were lying on your lap. "i hope they didn't give you any trouble."

london immediately looked at you with pleading eyes. you pinched his cheek. "how could they? they're my little pumpkins." you kissed both of the tops of their heads. london giggled and cash smiled at his sleepy situation. then suddenly saul's phone rang out. he looked at the screen and put it inside his pocket.

"uh, do you need anything?" he asked.

you thought for a second then replied. "a tea would be nice."

"okay, i will get one for you." he stood up but you stopped him.

"hey saul, can you go there with boys, please?"

"sure, but why?"

"i need to do something, important."

a couple of days passed since your accident. and the atmosphere of the home was fickle. when the boys weren't at home, you wouldn't speak to saul unless it's necessary. and he wasn't minding it at all. some days he would sleep on the couch, some days you. but then you would wake up in your bedroom all alone and would see saul's uncomfortable position on the couch.

you wondered how long he could keep his secret from you. he really was thinking that you were stupid. how could he? you've been together since the middle of 90's. you spend almost 15 years with him and just because you don't look like you first met now, he threw out all of them away.

he was the cause of your body and mental pains. and he was pretending like you did all of these to yourself. days ago, you didn't want to accept that your marriage was over. but now, you're ready to sign the divorce papers.

but you need him. you need him, especially after the call you received from the hospital. that was the time to face the truth about your situation.

you got ready to head outside and saw saul and the boys sitting on the couch, watching sponge bob.

"i'm going outside!" you informed them and went to the door.

"mom, can you buy some snacks please?" cash asked excitedly.

"we'll see, be good, boys!"

"hey," you heard saul's voice from behind. "when you'll be back?"

"i don't know, maybe an hour?" you shrugged.

"good. i would like to speak with you after your arrival. would you like me to take you there?"

"i'm good, thank you."

"well, see you then. be careful."

it's been 2 hours now since you left the home. not wanting to go there at all after the truth you learned about yourself. but it was already dark and they would probably search for you if you were a little later.

you took a deep breath and slowly knocked at the door. a couple of seconds later you heard heavy steps approaching to door. saul opened the door with a sign of relief.

"have you thought about coming home?" was the first thing he asked.

you turned your head to the wall clock. it was 10 pm.

"since i'm here now, it means i did." you took the coat off you and went to your bedroom. of course, he was following you.

"are boys sleeping?" you asked. and remembered that they wanted some snacks from you.

"yeah, they waited for you all night. said that they were not going to sleep until your arrival. but eventually, they fall asleep."

you just hummed in response, not looking into his eyes. but you knew he was staring at you right now.

"can we talk now?" he asked.

"sure, i wanted to talk too."

"okay, go ahead, then."

"no, please, you go first. i'm listening."

he took a deep breath and started. "look [name], we spent almost 15 years together. and in all of these years, even though we had conflicts often, i was really happy with you. i appreciate so much how you were both in my best and worst moments. you made me the happiest man in the world by making me a dad twice." you already knew where this speech was going.

"but, i don't feel the same connection between us anymore. it's not because you've become sick since cash's birth, or not because you're unattractive. it's not even true. i just, don't feel the same anymore."

you couldn't help but laugh. "i'm sorry, but i think i know the reason behind this. i'm just a boring, dull woman, right?"

his lips were in a straight line, giving you a half-apologetic smile.

"it's okay, you're not the first one to say this. the boys told me too."

"you're a good person and a mom too."

"sure. when will you mention that meegan?"

"how do you know?" he asked shockingly.

"do you really think i'm stupid?" you joked. not wanting to give away your older son.

"you know my nature, i can't stick to something so long. believe me, i wanted to stick at our marriage and family forever. but i was just fooling myself. i'm looking for new excitements. and i found this excitement in meegan. i'm sorry."

you deeply sighed and chewed on your bottom lip. not sure what to say.

"i want a divorce." he said while giving you an already signed paper. you hesitantly took it from him and glanced at the paper.

you held your tears back. you both need to be separate but why is it hurting so damn much? he's leaving you when you need him most.

"i'm going to the bathroom." you muttered and put the paper away but he was fast enough to catch your wrist.

"please don't go. i really want to settle these all now. you said you wanted to talk too. please tell me what's on your mind."

you got hesitate to tell him or not. but there was no point in hiding it now. so you gently removed his hand from yours and got your bag. after unzipping it and grabbing a piece of paper, you passed it to him.

"i'm pregnant."

#gnr #guns n roses #gnr x reader #guns n roses x reader #slash #saul hudson #slash x reader #saul hudson x reader #gnr angst #slash angst #rockstar imagines #90s #80s #90s rock #80s rock #hard rock #gnr fanfiction #slash fanfiction

[kirishimasbabygirl]

Therapy Session

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A/N: Hey Guys! This is the last part of my three part series! I hope you enjoy it! After this part I'm going to be doing a poll on what I should write next! I don't really like how this one turned out, I'm shit at happy endings lol

TW: Swearing, Angst, Kind of a Happy Ending

HERE'S Part 1 Part 2

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

You and Katsuki have been going to your therapist, Dr. Reo, for a month, and he is trying, like, really trying.

He's been on time for these appointments, doing the exercises your therapist has given him, and has given you the space you need.

Hell, he even slept in the guest room for you, but he still hasn't answered the big question.

"Now, Mr. Bakugo, the question still stands after this past month I've seen the two of you; why did you cheat?"

You looked at him expectingly, leaning on the opposite side of the couch from him, arms crossed.

He had been asking himself this question many times this past few weeks.

Why did he do it?

He wasn't drunk; it wasn't that he wasn't satisfied by you; god knows he is.

"Because…" he thought to himself because I could.

He felt his blood run cold; he did it…because he could.

He had control over a situation and did it because he could.

"Because I could. I had control for the first time since I'd become a hero and made it to the top 10, Hell, since the wars in high school." He slumps back into the couch.

"Since I was a kid, the minute I got this power," He looks down at his hand, rubbing his scared fingers together.

"My life, my future, was already planned out for me, and I could get away with everything."

He lets out a shaky breath as tears gather in his red eyes.

"I thought I could get away with using that woman, that I could get away with hurting the love of my life all because I thought I could. Like I always do."

He looks out the corner of his eye to see you staring at him in horror, tears streaming down your beautiful face; he fucking hurt you so damn bad.

"Because of… what-" you croak, hands shaking as you bring them to your face, hassling, wiping the tears away.

"But!-" He adds, straightening up, reaching out for you, clasping your hands together.

"I don't…I don't want to feel that way." He looks at you pitifully

"Please…Please believe me."

You had nothing to say.

Dr. Reo nods his head at the blond.

"Well, that's progress, Mr. Bakugou; maybe you should take a step outside, take a breather while I talk to the Missus for the rest of our session?"

He stares at you a bit longer to ask if that is okay; you nod your head, dropping your gaze.

"Okay," he whispered as he dropped your hands and slowly stood up; he never took his eyes off you.

"I'll be right outside if you need me, okay?"

You have a tight-lipped smile; you can see him deflated at your reluctance to speak to him, nodding again as he exists in the room.

Dr. Reo focuses his attention on you.

"So, this is one of our last secluded sessions. Do you want me to be honest with you?"

You nod, fiddling with your hands; you can still feel his callous fingers on them.

He sighs at you, pulling his glasses off and placing them on the coffee table in front of you.

"Ms., I firmly believe that Bakugou needs one-on-one therapy; he's hoarding some deeply rooted issues; I can recommend a good hero specialist therapist if that's something he'd want, but as for your relationship."

You lean forward, hands on your knees.

"He loves you and feels genuine remorse, but it's up to you," He points his finger at you.

"Whether or not you forgive him."

You sigh, head falling; you want to, you do, really.

"I do, trust me; it's just…" You raised your hand and rubbed your face. "I'm just scared."

"Of?"

"Of him doing it again?"

He raises an eyebrow at you. "Are you asking yourself or me?"

That gave you pause.

"I… I'm scared of what people will say or how they'll look at me like I'm some pushover or a gold digger who'll let him fuck whoever as long as I get his money or some stupid shit."

You've read the magazines through the years the two of you have been together, you've seen all the clickbait titles on youtube videos and drama channels, and you know what they say about you.

He nods

"And he'll do it again like you must have seen her; she's a top model!" You laugh pitifully.

"And you were pro-hero Natural Disaster."

Your face dropped; you rather forget about your hero days.

"You love him?" He questions, you nod

"Do you want this to work out?" You nod again

"Then go make it work." He waves at the door

"It's gonna take a lot more than me to fix this, and even after all that work, you still don't have to forgive him."

You look over at the frosted glass door to see Katsuki's silhouette.

"This has been hard on both of you; he's moved out of your shared bedroom, avoided him, and refused to speak more than one sentence unless it's here."

You watch him pace back and forth in fount of the door, a nervous tick he has.

"By those actions, you're showing him that you don't want this to work, yet he comes to every meeting for you."

You feel your heart break while watching him.

Has he been this anxious since what happened?

The timer blares out; Dr. Reo leans over and taps his phone.

"Go; he needs you."

You nod numbly, slowly standing up.

The door opens, and there he is, waiting, and like clockwork, he extends his hand out for you to take, which you've been ignoring for a month, he knows you won't take it, but he tries.

'He needs you.'

He's surprised when he feels a soft, warm hand entangle with his callous and scared one.

He looks at you, but you refuse to meet his eyes; you might cry if you do.

"Let's go home Katsuki."

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His lips quiver, eyes welling up; he throws his head back, staring at the office's fluorescent lights as the tears run down his face.

"Y-yeah, let's go."

Tag List.

@samkysnks

@mikasaredscarf1

@jjkclub

@novalies

@sadcookie365

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#bakugou x reader #bnha #katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo angst #Cheater!Bakugou #katsuki bakugo angst #kay writes #x reader angst #cheater!katsuki #mha x reader #mha #bnha x reader #katsukibakugou #bakugo katuski #bakugo x you

[fizzing-imagines]

My mom's Billy | Billy Hargrove x Single Mom! Military! Reader

Notes: This is the ending Billy DESERVED, with some good therapy, a nice home and a family that loves him

Warnings: Mentions of abuse

Words: 4.1k

This was your first time in group therapy. It was highly recommend by your therapist to you, after having trouble connection to others. Her idea was that meeting people with similar experience to yours would help you. Two friendly-looking therapists happily greeted the group of eight, then introduced you. "We have a new face joining us today." Everyone looked at you, you could feel your face heating up. "Oh, uhm...Hi, I'm (Y/N). Uhm...my ex-husband abused me throughout our twelve year relationship. And uhm...I used to be a lieutenant in the navy, but I quit when my son Leo was born so I've been a housewife for five years. I work as a waitress now though." The female therapist of the two gave you an encouragement smile. "I, uhm, I left him a year ago. The divorce was actually finalised last week, so...now I'm here." You let out an awkward laugh, but the group also gave you an encouraging smile. A man with ocean blue eyes and curly, blonde hair stood out to you as he looked you up and down. His face was wrinkled, even though he didn't look too old to you yet. There was a stubbly beard on his face, a bit darker than his hair, and while his lips were full they were also chewed up. What stood out most were the hickeys on his neck.

"Thank you for sharing.", one of the participants told you. With a smile, you gave her a nod. "Have you thought about going back to the navy?", another participant asked you. Wow, these people were open. "I have, but I don't have a partner and my mother is too old to constantly take care of my son when I'm on deployment so that's off the table." It disappointed you, really. You loved your career and regretted letting your ex take that joy from you. "And daycare has gotten so expensive.", a man in the group said. "I have two young children, we have them in daycare." He continued talking about barely being able to afford having his kids looked after at a daycare, so the focus was finally off of you. But the meeting itself was nice, the participants were kind and understanding. Even though the man who checked you out in the beginner barely talked, until he was asked towards the end of the meeting. "Billy, you haven't shared today.", the male therapist said. "Anything you wanna say?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Not really, nothing interesting happened. Had a date, but she wasn't my 'forever person'" He put the last to words into air quotes. "Nothing else interesting happened, really." For some reason, he intrigued you. "Well, besides that this is your last session today.", the male therapist added. "Oh yeah, that too. My therapist said I've gotten a well-enough social circle to not attend anymore and I could really use the hour for more shifts at my job." Everyone said goodbye to Billy.

After group, you left the centre to get to your car. As you unlocked your door, you saw Billy walking over to your car. "Hey, (Y/N), wasn't it?" You nodded your head. "Well, since I'm not in group anymore I was hoping I could give you my phone number." Your cheeks suddenly felt hot - you haven't been asked out since you met your husband. It hasn't been a concept that was a possibility for you. "Listen, I think I get that it might be hard for you, so you don't have to give me your number." He took out a piece of paper and wrote something down. "But give me a call if you feel like going out on a date. I'd be happy to hear from you, you can reach me at any time of the day." You took the piece of paper from his hand and let out a quiet "Thank you." before he left to get into his own car. You yourself sat in your car for a good five minutes to process what just happened. Someone asked you out on a date? You really couldn't believe it. Eventually, you started your engine and drove to your mothers house to pick up your son.

After you got him into bed you sat in the living room and kept starring at the tiny piece of paper with Billy's number on it. You told your mother about it, and she encountered you to call him, but your brain had a blockage. But will it ever go away if you don't break it? The clock told you that it was already midnight, you questioned how you could sit there for hours with your own thoughts discouraging you. Slowly, you took your flipphone out of your pocket and dialed the number. After a few rings, you were greeted by a sleepy "Hello?" His voice was raspy, and you immediately felt bad for disruption his sleep. "It's...it's (Y/N)." The two of you talked on the phone for a good while, talking through details of what he wants to do where with you. Billy had good ideas, but you insisted on public places only. He was very understanding and suggested a nice restaurant downtown. When you said that you couldn't afford that, he said "Don't worry about money, I'll invite you for the evening." It made you blush a bit - you can't remember the last time you've been invited to dinner.

You two had a good date. Your mother looked after your son and let him have a sleepover at her place, meanwhile Billy picked you up from your house. He brought you flowers and showered you in compliments before even letting you step into his car. It made your stomachs flip up- and down, especially because you sort of accepted the fact that you'd never find love again. While it didn't have to mean that Billy has to be the one, it was nice to be wooed again. Dinner went just as well, you had nice conversations, went on a walk afterwards and he dropped you off at your apartment afterwards. "I'd like to see you again.", he said to you with a smile while standing in front of your entrance. It made your heart skip a beat and your cheeks heat up. "I'm free next Thursday, maybe we can get breakfast together?", you said while smiling at him. He took his hand in yours, said "I'll pick you up at 8:30." and kissed the back of your hand. You said your goodbyes and went inside your apartment. Once you laid in bed and thought about the evening, you couldn't help but grin until you fell asleep.

You looked forward to breakfast with Billy for days, and it went just as well as the first date. Billy took you out at least two times a week for the next month. What you loved most about it was that he never pressured you into any physical contact - the most he ever did was give you a kiss on the cheek. Everyone around you noticed how much happier you've gotten. It also rubbed off on your son, who turned from extremely shy and introverted to an extroverted ball of energy. Right now, you were at Billy's house, having a few snacks and talking about life.

"Billy, can I ask you something?", you said as you leaned your head against the backrest of his couch. "Anything.", he said with a smile. "You really don't need to answer if you don't want to, but since you know why I was in group...why were you?" You've had your suspicions after being at his place a few times. There were no family pictures anywhere, except one of him and his stepsister, and a few childhood pictures of him and his mother. "Was about time for that question, huh?" He let out an awkward chuckle while thinking of an answer. "My dad, actually. He, uhm, he first abused my mother and eventually me. And when my mother left, I became too much like him. I was a bully, and was a dick to my step-sister. But I eventually got out, moved back here and got help. So my sister forgave me at least, but she still lives in Indiana." You knew that he lived there for a while, until he had an accidentally and came back to California. "Billy, I'm so sorry..." you said while reaching out for his hand. He took his hand in yours and squeezed it once. "I'm okay now, (Y/N)." Even though he just told you what happened to you in his past, he still smiled at you. "He's miserable now, we put him in a nursing home in some shithole town." His thumb started stroking over the back of your hand as his eyes looked into yours. "Uhm, I actually had a question...about your ex and your son.", he said while looking down. Something told you that that question was uncomfortable to him. "Sure, what's up?", you asked. "Well, I know what your ex did to you but...what did your son experience?" Knowing what Billy went through with his dad, this was probably for his own piece of mind as well. "It honestly started when he was born. He screamed at him as a baby to shut up when he cried, then he started pushing him when he was running through the house. But once he punched him, I packed our things and ran away with Leo. Pressed charges the same day and haven't looked back." Now Billy was the one to squeeze your hand. "You did the right thing (Y/N), I'm proud of you." You smiled and scooted closer to him, letting your knee touch his. Somehow, both of you knew what the other thought about - he pulled you into a hug and held you tight to his body, while you wrapped your arms around his torso and rested your head on his chest. You could hear his heartbeat, take in his scent; you felt like you were home. Billy was the one for you, you knew that.

On the next date, you two kissed for the first time. The one after that, he asked to be your boyfriend. Of course you said yes, how could you not? But now there was a problem: You'd have to eventually tell Leo. While you did tell him that you've made a new friend and meet up with him a lot, you never told him that you're dating again. That was your mistake, because now you'd have to tell him. The biggest problem? Leo was afraid of men. He couldn't be near male teachers or any of his uncles, even male cashiers got a massive side eye from him. So his mom now having a new boyfriend, after his biology father abused him for his entire life? It didn't seem possible to you. But you did have to tell him eventually, so you sat him down on a Saturday after you two got ice cream.

"Leo, do you remembered my friend Billy that I have been seeing a lot lately?", you started the conversations with. Leo nodded his head, then took a lick of his ice cream. "Is he coming over?", he asked then. "Well, maybe. I actually have to tell you something else about Billy." Your heart started racing, and you honestly didn't even know where you were going with this. "You know when we talked about how daddies and mommies love each other?" He nodded his head once more. "Well, when daddies and mommies separate, it can happen that they meet someone else who made them as happy as the other mommy or daddy made them. But when the other mommy or daddy wasn't a good person-" You were interrupted by your own son. "Like Dean?" Leo never called your ex dad, he always called him Dean. "Yes, like Dean. Well, then the mommy or daddy might meet someone who makes them even happier." Your son continued eating his ice cream quietly. "And Billy is that other person who makes me even happier, and that's what I wanted to tell you, Leo." He remained quiet for a bit, trapped in his own thoughts, before he talked again. "So is Billy your boyfriend now?" He didn't scrunch his face in disgust or anger, which was a good sign. "Yes, sweetheart, Billy is my boyfriend now and I wanted to tell you so you could get ready to meet him someday." Once again, he thought about your words for a while. "Does Billy hit you like Dean did?" Unfortunately, Leo knew too much about abuse too soon. "No, Leo, Billy has never hit me or insult me. Do you remembered when we talked about how Mommies and Daddies should treat each other?" He took a big lick of his ice cream before answering. "That they always cuddle and kiss and hug each other, and that they never hit or scream at each other." You nodded in agreement. "That's right. And that is how Billy treats me." For the third time, he was inside his head and thinking something over. "My friend Lee, his dad has a new girlfriend and he says that she's his step-mother now. Is Billy my step-dad?" Oh, you were not prepared for that question at all. You actually expected a tantrum. "You can call him that if you want to. But you can also just call him Billy." Leo went on to ask when he was going to meet Billy, if he could cook for him with you, if Billy liked basketball as much as he does.

So the day came. On the following Thursday, you and Leo were making two different pizzas for the three of you. He insisted on making a funny face out of salamies on one pizza while you added mushrooms, olives and spinach to the other one. Once you put the food in the oven, your doorbell rang. "He's here!", Leo said while running up to the front door. "Mama, can I open it?", he asked you. As you were washing your hands it wasn't such a bad idea. "Sure sweetheart, be nice!", you said over to him. Your son opened the door and greeted your boyfriend with a wide grin. "Hello, are you my mom's Billy?", he asked. His question made you chuckle. "I am your mom's Billy. Are you your mom's Leo?" He loudly said yes before leading him inside and telling Billy to take his shoes and jacket off. "Mom's in the kitchen.", he said to Billy. "Leo, go wash your hands and change your shirt. Dinner is done soon." You could hear your sons footsteps running off while Billy came through the kitchen door. "That was quite the greeting.", he said with a chuckle in his voice. "He's uncharacteristically excited to meet you.", you replied while drying your hands. The two of you shared a quick kiss before the timer for the pizza went off. "He even made you smiling pizza."

Leo's and Billy's first meeting went extraordinarily well. In the evening, after your boyfriend left, he asked you when he would come over again. And it didn't take long until he asked when Billy would move in with the two of you. Six months deep into the relationship, Leo and you moved in with Billy. He had two extra rooms and a big backyard that he couldn't use all by himself. Your son loved it, and he loved Billy. At some point, he started calling the two of you "My mama and my Billy", which made your boyfriends heart melt. Billy and you got married two years later, you took Billy's last name and tried looking into how Leo could get it too. Eventually, it all resolved itself.

Billy was looking after Leo while you were at work. He picked him up from school and was making him dinner while Leo was doing his homework. However, math wasn't his strongsuit so he walked to Billy with his textbook. "Dad, can you help me with this?" Billy stopped in his tracks as he heard Leo call him dad for the first time but swallowed it down to not make him feel uncomfortable. He helped him with his homework and didn't let anything show until he was alone in the kitchen and cried some tears; happy tears. He continued lunch with your, and now his, son like he always does. Once you came home, he immediately pulled you into a tight hug. "What's gotten into you?", you said with a giggle. "Leo called me dad today.", he mumbled into the crook of your neck. Your eyes went wide in suprise and happiness, then you laughed. "Seriously? Billy, that's amazing!" You passionately kissed him on the lips as he was still squeezing you against his body.

Later that night, you checked in on your son after he went to bed, just to see that he was still awake and seemed upset. "Leo? What's wrong sweetheart?" You walked over to his bed and sat down on the edge of it. "I called Billy dad today and he didn't react...", he mumbled into his blanket. Oh. "Why does that upset you?", you asked him while petting his head. "Because I thought it would make him happy. And I never had a dad..." You opened your arms as an invitation for a hug, which he gladly took as he scooted closer. "Billy was very happy, but he didn't want you to feel weird about it.", you said to your as you hugged him. "He thought that you wouldn't want to do it anymore if he was too emotional." Leo hummed, a sound he started making when he thought about something, before asking "Can dad come in?" You smiled and told him that that was possible, then gave him a kiss goodnight and left the room. "Billy, your son wants to talk to you.", you said to your husband as you stepped into your shared bedroom. "Alright.", he said while getting up and leaving the room. You went into bed and waited for him to return, which was a good 20 minute wait. When Billy came back, he was quiet and quickly got under the blanket next to you with no words. "Sweetheart, you're awfully quiet.", you said to him while taking one of his hands in yours. "It's okay.", he mumbled while getting closer to you. "Our son just had some questions. But it's all good now." The way he said 'Our son' made your heart melt. "Father-son secret?" You smirked at your own words, Billy let out a small chuckle. "Definetly.", he replied before placing a kiss on your cheek.

Life went on for months. Billy was the father Leo never had, he was happier than ever. Billy finally had the family he always wanted. And you were planning on going back to the navy - that was until a tiny plastic stick with two blue lines came in the way. You've had your suspicions before, considering that this would be your second pregnancy. But how? Leo was nine already and so used to being an only child. Billy and you weren't going to get any younger either - at age 37 now, you'd almost be a senior citizen by the time your child graduates high school. So you did what you always do: Go to Billy.

"Bil.", you mumbled as you stood in the doorway of your shared bedroom, test in your shaky hands. It was only natural to him to see how terrified you were, so close to crying but swallowing it down for the sake of your son in the next room. "Come here.", he said while walking up to you. It was only then that he noticed the positive pregnancy test in your hands. "You know, I always wanted two kids." was all he said before wrapping his arms around you. "We'll manage."

He stayed true to his words. You gave birth to baby Leia and went back to the navy months after. Leo was ecstatic to be a big brother, not wanting to ever leave Leias side at any time of the day since the moment he first saw her. He went so far that he volunteers to bring her to bed on some days, and for whatever reason she'd always fall asleep when he did without fuzzing. And Billy, oh god, Billy was so happy to watch his daughter grow up. Of course he saw Leo as his own son, but he couldn't watch him grow up from the day he was born. Knowing your and Leo's past, Billy made sure that he won't be anything like your ex or his dad. During your second trimester, he went back to his old therapist to see if he truly was ready to be a father. When Leia was a year old, you and your family were send to Finland for deployment. Once again, your husband stayed true to his words: "We'll manage.". Leo was send to an english-speaking school while Leia went to a regular, finnish daycare. If you were going to live here, you want her to learn a second language while doing so. Billy, somehow, got to continue working as a mechanic while you were obvious caught up with the finnish navy. Everything was beyond perfect and felt like a fairytale. The four of you were send back to America after six years in Finland, but to Florida this time. Leia cried a lot when she had to leave, including the entire flight back and the first night in America. You couldn't blame her - she's leaving the place she grew up in. You promised her to go back to Finland during summer break, and while that cheered her up it didn't help a lot. Once again, Billy stuck to his words. "We'll manage.". He did everything he could to get Leia out of her head, helped her with schoolwork, went surfing with her, took her on daddy-daughter dates. She got better eventually and found many friends. You, on the other hand, felt bad that this would eventually be ripped from her again.

Four years later, you decided on a desk job at the navy in California. It took a lot from you to make this decision, but it was the best one for your family. You couldn't watch your daughter sit and cry for her entire childhood. California was the best decision for everyone, including your husband. He was happier, Leo was happier, Leia adapted after a few months. She loved California eventually, especially because her Dad could show her around so much more now.

"Dad, I have a confession to make." Leo made sure you weren't home. He was two weeks away from graduating high school, and already signed up for his future profession. But he told neither you nor Billy. "What's going on kid?", he asked while looking up from the newspaper he was reading. At this point, he needed glasses to even make out a single letter. "Mom didn't want me to, but I signed up for the marines and got in." Billy knew about your opinion in this. You didn't want your children to get into the military at all. It wasn't a taboo theme at home, but it was barely on the table. After what your ex-husband did to you, you couldn't bear to possibly have them go down the same road as you. "Why did you want to join?", Billy asked. He'd form his opinion based on his reply, he decided. "Mom saves so many people. I've always looked up to her, and I wanna be like her." Billy smiled at his sons words. "You know, I'm convinced that she'll be okay with it if you tell her like that."

You were. Leo went to bootcamp, your old bootcamp, where you dropped him off with a heavy heart. Billy and Leia came with you as well to send him off. "Stay safe, son.", Billy told him before giving him a tight hug. Leo promised to not die, and that was enough for him. Leia cried a bit while saying her goodbyes, and had to hold onto her father after hugging her brother. You were last, it was only logical to him. "I'll make you proud.", he promised you. "Leo, I' already so proud of you.", you said to him with a smile. "You'll do just as well. Bootcamp will be the best months of your life, promise." In motherly fashion, you gave him a kiss on his cheek before letting him walk inside.

Back in the car, Billy tried changing the topic as the mood was low. "Well, if my son comes after his mother job-wise, I hope my daughter comes after me.", he said to you and Leia.

"I was actually thinking about Infantry.", she replied.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fluff

[polyamorousmood]

How do you deal with insecurity in a polyam relationship?

I've been in a poly V before, with my girlfriend at the time, and her other partner; but I honestly wasn't really invested in the relationship so I wasn't bothered.

I feel like,, if I have a partner and we either a) accept another and form a triad or b) I end up with a metamour again, I would end up worrying that my parner(s) would leave me to simply be together.

(For context, I have AvPD so like... abandonment is a complex of mine and I'm working on it but I'm still so insecure a lot of the time.)

So.. yeah. I've seen you address jealousy/envy, and I know I'd probably deal with a bit of that (in the sense that 'oh, b gets to spend time with c while I'm at work, I'm envious' kind of way) but I know that insecurity would be the thing that would bother me the most

Polysecure by Jessica Fern is generally considered a holy text 🛐of polyamory and this exact question in particular. I haven't read it personally (yet. Its on my list my list is just long 😅) So if you haven't given that a go yet, everyone I know who has read it, has recommended at least sections of it. I know it talks about attachment styles and how to handle those, which might be helpful if you have avoidant personality disorder.

The other thing, of course, is consider bringing this up with a therapist, because I am not one. And this seems like a touchy enough topic that everything I say here is pulled from my experience and should be taken as "ideas to think about🤔" and not "clinical advise that will Fix It🪄" As per usual, LOTS to go over here. So. read more.

P.S. after typing up everything, I realized this post I wrote to help a supportive partner address insecurity might also be helpful for you, and even has a worksheet! Its probably better formatted too. So.. maybe I wasted my typing here 😓. C'est la vie.

Firstly, you never said you identify as polyamorous. So if you're not... you could just date monogamously 🤷 as much as I love 💟polyamory and would like it if the whole world loved it too, if that's gonna be too big a thing for you, there's no reason you have to bother at all.

If you are going to date polyamorously for whatever reason, BEFORE you introduce another person to the mix, have a regular, set time you and your partner spend apart. It sounds counter-intuitive, but maintaining your own social life and identity outside your partner is huge. Do this especially when you're super invested and want to spend every second with your partner. That's honestly true whether you're poly or not, but in this specific case. I think a lot of the fear is bolstered by the idea that without you there, your partner is just spending that time loving the other person. And maybe they'd like to do that more blah blah blah. But this proves that's not the case: when you're not there, you partner is getting drinks with the girls, or building model ships, or any other numerous things they like independent of you. And it also means you're not just pining over your partner when you're gone, you have other shit to do too. And you'll come to look forward to your two hours a week at the coffee shop (or whatever). You will learn reasonable time apart does not equal less romantic interest.

And then, on the flip side of that, set regular protected time with your partner. Not to say never ever will something come up that interrupts that. Emergencies arise🚨, or the time may have to be renegotiated later, etc etc. But having the confidence that no matter what, you'll have a movie date every week, or that Tuesday night is Romance Night, or whatever you decide on, can make it easier. It can help prevent you feeling taken for granted, and can naturally curb NRE with other people if that starts getting unruly. If your partner starts wanting to cut into this time for not-important-shit, tell them you're not okay with that, or -- and only if truly it feels okay to you -- at least get them to make the time up the next day. And you, of course, need to treat it as special too. Make the time important, fulfilling, and intimate. It can be any activity, as long as its bonding time -- quality time, in the truest sense of the word.

Take time to get to know yourself, and share it with your partner. What do you consider to be sacred between you and your partner? Are you okay with your meta and your partner having sacred things -- what type of things? Do you feel better knowing the details of your partner's other relationships, or will that make you more jealous? (I like knowing more, because the thought of my partner having this secret life without me makes me more insecure, but other people are very reasonably of the opinion that hearing that their partner had so much fun without them is a bummer.) How much about you are you okay with your partner dilvulging to your meta(s)? Go through this on as many things as you can think of. Now, what you're comfortable with is not the only factor here; you and your partner will probably both have to make some concessions to reach something workable, but I've found that process, with a good partner, to be more securing in and of itself. You both are working together towards a common understanding. Its generally good practice to avoid hard-and-fast rules here, when possible. For example, "I'm only okay with you dating others if you're home by 11🕚 every night" makes some sense, but if taken literally means if your partner gets a flat on the way home, or has to deal with your meta's mental breakdown, or even just wants to see a movie that won't finish until 11:05 -- that's a betrayal. Perhaps even just asking for a one-time allowance is a betrayal. Instead, work for understandings or guidelines. Maybe the similar understanding in this example is "its hard for me to sleep alone, so I'd like you to generally be home by 11:00, and notify me as soon as possible if that's not going to happen" and then when they bring up wanting to stay out late one night for something, you can ask if its possible for them to do it on a night you don't have to work in the morning (maybe they can, maybe they can't, the point here is that its a dialogue, see below). There will be some trial and error here, so be prepared for that and stick it out.

Don't take every problem as a sign things are doomed, or your partner is divesting, or your partner isn't worth your investment. There will be times when someone is actually abusive, or there will be irreconcilable differences. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about "My partner is late for the second time this week, they're pulling away from me, this is the beginning of the end"-type shit. No it ain't. A good exercise for this is to explicitly outline your worst-case scenario💣, followed by a best case-scenario🌈, and then a few most likely cases⬜. So from our example above, worst case is that they're pulling away (so you have to pull away faster so you "win" and avoid pain), best case-scenario is that they're late because they're buying you a gift on their way home, and most likely scenario is that traffic's worse than they planned or they ran into someone at the gas station and stopped to talk for a bit or whatever.

Figure out how to self-soothe. Make a stache of nice things your partner has done for you that you can check on your own to remind yourself you're important to them. Reframe some of your jealous worries. Remind yourself of things you're looking forward to with your partner. Make a vent journal. Whatever clicks to you.

And as always, 🗣️talk to your partner. Productively talk to your partner.🗣️ Talk to your partner as much as possible about how things make you feel, and make sure they're doing the same. I talk more about how to talk through problems here, and its worth the read imho (even though its equally long). But for now, know that forming this habit on its own is functionally indistinguishable from being securely attached. As long as the communication is you and your partner vs the problem (and not, for example, your insecurity vs your partner's willingness to compromise), this will be good for the relationship, and you will feel better for doing it. But to form that habit, you have to do it with everything, not just Big Problems. You have to tell your partner sincerely how much you appreciate stuff they're getting right, you have to tell them about small problems that you can handle on your own, you have to tell them about things you're not sure how you feel about yet.

#jealousy #insecurity #poly relationship advice #ask box is always open

[farity]

Obsession, part 16

He liked moments like these. The quiet, everyday moments he had with her. Watching a scary show with her head on his thigh, him playing with her hair and smiling to himself whenever she covered her eyes. The way she laid down with three blankets on her but her bare toes peeked out at the other end of the sofa.

"Ugh, that was horrible," she said, laughing, as the credits rolled. Her phone buzzed and she sat up. "I have my appointment."

"Where is it?"

"In the main house, the empty study."

Aemond sighed. "No."

She looked at him, eyebrows raised in question.

"There is recording equipment there. I will call and have her come here - I will turn things off, and I have to talk to Aegon anyway."

Of course. Alicent had wanted the meeting somewhere she could record the conversation. She knew Aemond's office here was bugged as well, but he'd turn it all off. Besides, he already knew everything she would talk about, he'd been there for most of it, hadn't he?

She leaned over to kiss him, happy he'd made time to spent watching a silly show with her. She knew what was coming, and she knew his mind had to be racing a dozen different ways to prepare.

* * * * *

"What do you see happening long term here? In a year or two, where do you see yourself?"

You looked at the statuesque blonde sitting across from you. She had a kind smile and a very loud laugh, and Aemond had greeted her with a hug, which he rarely bestowed on anyone but his family.

"I want to do my own thing, I want something that is mine," you began, "I get it, there are limits to what I can do, but I want to be useful, I can't just do nothing all day."

"How about personally? "

Aemond had told you that she knew about your marriage, but you didn't know how much he had told her. You decided to be honest. What the hell was the point of therapy if you were going to keep shit to yourself?

"I love Aemond. I sure as hell didn't mean to, and he sure as hell didn't mean to love me, but he has told he he does and I believe him. It wasn't supposed to- I don't know."

"It happens sometimes. Some arranged marriages end up becoming love matches in the end. If you think about it, it is a very specific type of person who can fit into a family like this, to make someone born to it feel comfortable and allow them to be vulnerable."

You nodded. "I don't know how well I fit in with all this. The thought of spending my life knowing there are people out to get Aemond, out to get me, it's daunting."

"It is good that you realize that. Sometimes people are drawn to the allure of danger, but you need to live with the person behind the façade, build a life that is solid and a good foundation for what may be some difficult times."

"I went to my boss's funeral a couple of days ago."

"I'm sorry about that." There was a sincere empathy in her voice, her beautiful blue eyes kind as they gazed upon you. "There will be collateral damage - not just death, but the loss of friendships, of the familiar."

You took a deep breath. "I think I was mourning that as well. I cried like a fool, and I know it wasn't all for her."

"You were mourning the loss of your old life, the loss of anonymity. That is a very real loss, if it is all you've known. You are very strong and introspective to realize that."

* * * * *

Aemond was coming back from the main house when your session ended, and he smiled at the therapist again when he saw her. She was probably the only person he literally looked up to, because in her killer heels, she positively towered over him.

"Thank you, Brienne," he said as he clasped her hand.

"Of course. I'll see you next week?" she said to you as she slipped her bag over her shoulder.

You shook her hand, "yes, definitely."

"We'll be in Tarth soon, by the way."

Brienne smiled conspiratorially. "So I have heard," she said as she walked out the door. "Say hi to Papa for me!"

Aemond kissed you after locking the door. "Aegon has had a crush on her for years."

You pictured your brother in law next to Brienne, and laughed. "I bet he has."

"She's smacked him more than once when he's hugged her for too long, but I think that just makes him more in love."

You laid your face on Aemond's chest. "Are you still going?"

His arms tightened around you, "I didn't want to, but they're too quiet. If there's one thing the Baratheons aren't known for, is being agreeable and placid."

You said nothing, but the thought of him going to Tarth unnerved you. He'd be careful, of course, but you knew there were no certainties in this world.

"What's the deal with Brienne?" you asked, trying to distract yourself. "She's not at all what I expected."

Aemond squeezed you gently before heading to the kitchen. "Want something to drink?" he asked as you followed him. "Brienne is not what anyone expects, least of all her father. The fact that she's, you know, got a university degree and works for a living is an insult to him."

"Gods forbid."

"Exactly. I mean, Father always thought it was 'cute' how we let Helaena help with all that 'computer nonsense'," he scoffed. "He never knew how vital she is to us, regardless of how many times we told him."

"Is Borros Baratheon the same?"

"Yeah, one of the old generation," Aemond nodded, then took a long drink, and you watched his throat work, the forearms revealed by his rolled-up sleeves. "Borros considers it a tragedy that he never managed to sire a son."

You smiled, "he sounds delightful." You sipped at your drink and then put the glass down, closing the distance between you and Aemond. "Come with me."

He didn't ask, he took the hand you held out, putting his own drink down and following you.

"I hope you've finalized all your plans for Tarth," you said, looking at him over your shoulder.

"I have. Why?"

You walked into your bedroom and pulled him down for a kiss. "Because I want you. Because I want to have my husband before he leaves."

He let you deepen the kiss, let you begin to undo the buttons on his shirt and push it off his shoulders, and you felt the tension lighten under the gentle touch of your fingertips. "Gods yes," he whispered as your mouth found the spot on his neck where his pulse beat.

You shoved him onto the bed, stepped between his thighs and began to undo the belt and zipper on his pants. He watched you, chest rising and falling, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. He lifted his hips to help you slide down his pants and boxers, and slid up to give you room. You slipped off the oversized sweater you wore, pushed down the leggings, to reveal a pale pink bra and matching underwear in the sheerest lace, that covered nothing at all.

"Fuck."

You slowly tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. "Well, that is my plan." Kneeling between his thighs, you took him in your hands, making him gasp, and then you took him in your mouth, and he let out a long string of profanities.

You began working him slowly, your tongue tracing around the head and the vein on the underside of his length, going as far as you could as his thighs tensed with the effort to keep still.

"I'm not- I'm not going to last," he panted, and when you hummed around him, he swore again, and you felt one hand slipping into your hair. "I want to come inside you," he muttered, and you raised an eyebrow before pulling your mouth off him.

He grabbed your arms, pulling you until you were straddling him, and then he was tearing off your underwear before impaling you on his cock. "Fuck yes. By the Seven, you feel good."

You reached back to undo the clasp on your bra, tossed it aside as you began to move. Your hips rocked as you rose and fell, the feeling of fullness had you squeezing your breasts, your head falling back as he gripped you so hard you knew you'd find marks later.

More, you thought.

You heard desperate sounds from Aemond, knew he was close, and then he slipped a hand between your bodies, your gasp turning into a moan as you realized how far gone you were. You felt him get even harder inside you and it was enough to send you over the edge, your thighs squeezing his hips as your body tensed, his fingers relentless between your legs, prolonging your release until he groaned, his own orgasm taking over as you collapsed on top of him.

You felt his hips stutter against you as you slowly floated down. One arm went around you and you felt him roll over until you were on your back. He buried his face in your hair and you wrapped your arms around him.

"I will go to battle every day if this is how you send me off," he said a minute later. His hand was running up and down your arm, and you pressed a kiss to his neck.

I'd rather you didn't go to battle at all, you thought, but said nothing. Choosing him meant choosing his life, and you knew that.

"Will you let me know how things are going as much as you can?"

"Of course." He looked down at you, kissed the tip of your nose. "Maybe we can go somewhere after all this is done."

Your eyes widened. "Really? Just you and me?"

He pressed his lips together. "With some guards."

You nodded. "Yeah, I can do that."

* * * * *

Aemond left his wife curled up on the sofa, a book in her hand as he promised her he would be back as soon as possible. It was strange this, knowing there was someone waiting for him to return.

He knew his family wanted him to be safe, but he'd never been with anyone long enough for them to matter, for them to be around when he left to potentially confront someone.

He'd gone over the plan several times with all his men, taken Aegon's input and thanked Helaena for her logistics help. He'd had Cregan Stark's name on a list of people he could call on, Stark had offered, after all, but seeing his sister so happy pulled at him and he decided not this time.

Selwyn Tarth had cleared the airspace over his land, offered as many man as Aemond wished, along with transport and weapons if needed. While Aemond was hoping it would not come to needing such resources, he appreciated the offer, and had requested a discreet amount of both firearms and vehicles.

"We're starting our descent now, sir," his pilot said, and Aemond went over the plan one more time. Every contingency, every detail, he ran through it all.

* * * * *

"I want my accounts released."

Aemond stared at Borros Baratheon, dark eyes flashing in anger as he leaned over the desk in his office.

"They will be, as soon as all our conditions are met."

There was a knock on the door and a soft voice was heard through the heavy door. "Dad?"

"I want your goons to put their guns down so my daughter can come in."

Aemond nodded and his men put their weapons away.

"Come in."

The door opened and a young woman walked in. Aemond didn't know which girl it was, but he wondered at her sudden appearance.

"Floris, come here, sweetheart."

He put an arm around her, kissed her temple.

"Look, I didn't know Viserys was going after you. I gave him what he asked for, but he didn't run his plan by me. I'd like to apologize for that."

The young woman looked down at the ground and Aemond began to get a bad feeling.

"Marry my daughter. We become family, there is no animosity between us."

"I can't marry your daughter. I'm already married."

Borros smiled. "That's easy to fix. Your wife isn't from any of the Houses, it's not like it's an advantageous match. My Floris is-"

"lovely," Aemond interrupted, "but I'm not marrying her, Borros. She's going to Highgarden."

Floris looked up then, "Willas Tyrell?"

When Aemond nodded, she turned to her father. "Father, I-"

"Shut up, girl. Are you sending my girls all over fucking Westeros?"

"I'm making advantageous marriages for them, they will all be part of families pledging their loyalty to the right side."

"And then what, when they're all married off, do I get my accounts back?"

"Dad!" Floris looked at her father, brow furrowed.

"Once they are each married and living in their new homes, you get your accounts back. After providing proper dowries to each of them, of course."

Borros glared at Aemond. "Dowries? What the fuck is this, medieval-"

"This is what happens when you make bad choices, Borros," Aemond said, "you'll keep enough to live here comfortably. And I'll leave some men to make sure you don't get in trouble."

There was the sound of something rolling around and Borros looked out the window. "What the fuck is that?"

"I will send instructions for each girl's wedding - congratulations, Floris, Willas is a very intelligent and kind man. A pleasure as always, Borros." He didn't add that she'd have to cope with his grandmother ruling over the family, but that was not his concern.

He walked out with his men as Borros ran out in time to see most of his stockpile of weapons being loaded onto a large truck. He smiled as the older man began screaming in rage.

A moment later he was shoved to the ground by one of his men as shots rang out. He turned around, gun already in his hand, as Borros aimed at him again.

He heard Floris scream and several more shots rang out before he felt a sharp, burning pain in his chest, and then everything went dark.

* * * * *

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