#my sister got accepted to university in another town

[little-escapist]

I need to vent

#my sister got accepted to university in another town #and i'm so glad she got in and can start her life #the past year she's been so lost and alone #not she has a chance to start anew #but #i fear for myself #i know i'm not good at taking care of myself #so #i'm so scared of the autumn coming and her moving away #i know it was supposed to be temporary but she has saved me by just being here #i guess i'm just tired but i feel it all collapsing on me #she's leaving #my therapy support runs out in october and i don't know what will happen #my dearest most loved cat is dead #and i don't know how to look after myself

[writer-in-theory]

nothing can be certain except (death) and taxes

Summary: When the words on a person's skin are the last words their soulmate will say before death separates them, Steve has never hated being loved so much. Pairing: Steve Harrington/Billy Hargrove Rating: Teen Word Count: 2.3k Content Warnings: Temporary Character Death (EMPHASIS ON THE TEMPORARY), Canon-Typical Violence, Descriptions of Injuries Read On AO3: Coming soon (to a theatre near you) A/N: This is my contribution to the Harringrove Relay Race! Thank you so much for letting me participate again, this was so much fun to work on. @harringrove-relay-race

Steve always hated the idea of soulmates. 

The idea of a perfect match out there for him could have been a comfort, if it weren’t for the words carried on his arm his entire life. How cruel was it, for the universe to have perfect matches but only confirm them at the end of their time together? The words could’ve been a comfort, if they weren’t the confirmation of the last words he’d ever hear from his soulmate before they left the world permanently. 

I love you.

How cruel of his soulmate, to leave him with those words. 

Steve didn’t know Billy was his soulmate—there was no way of knowing, really—but he knew. It was obvious in the way that Steve’s entire world changed the moment Billy moved to town, and in the way that even hearing his voice was enough to bring a smile to Steve’s face. 

The other man hadn’t made it easy, especially in the early days when he was more a feral cat who struck out at any signs of affection made toward him. He could be rude, and often picked fights first rather than try to talk things out, but he was also fiercely protective of the people he cared about, and the more people who cared in return the more Billy seemed incapable of going without a gentle touch, even if it meant most of the time he and Steve ended up tangled together in a pretzled mess when they spent time with one another.

And the thing was, Steve was happy. Totally, painfully so. He looked upon Billy and wondered how anyone could ever make him feel so much all at once. Then he’d look down at his own arm and wonder how much it would hurt to go back to how it had been before, without Billy.

The Upside Down had taken so much from too many people, but Steve knew, standing on the second floor of Starcourt Mall, that he would be the one to ensure its downfall, no matter what.

Time moved both too slow and too fast, leaving Steve helpless to watch as Billy stood between El and the Mind Flayer, arms stretched out wide as if to accept his fate without fear.

He heard screaming, likely some of it was his own. He wasn’t sure how he made it to Billy’s side so quickly, just that he blinked and suddenly his knees were stained red from all of the blood spilling from Billy now. 

“Why’d you have to do that, you asshole?” Steve felt like he was choking on every breath, the air stinging against his chest as he watched Billy’s chest stutter and falter painfully. Please, take the air from my lungs. I don’t want it if you’re not here. 

“‘m sorry.” Billy’s eyes were on Max’s then, but the hand Steve was holding squeezed, as if to let him in on the secret too. 

He knew Billy had a complicated relationship with his step-sister, one that he’d admitted could have been better once they got out from under his dad’s roof. If they had more time.

It was like Steve was watching all of the time they were supposed to have melt away around them. It seeped out onto the floor like the blood that was supposed to be keeping Billy’s heart beating. 

“You’re supposed to stay,” Steve said the moment Billy’s attention turned to him. There was a glassiness to the man’s eyes, as though he wasn’t really seeing Steve. He’d take it anyway, because there wasn’t enough time to wait for Billy’s attention to refocus. He wasn’t sure it ever would. “What happened to graduating and getting the hell outta here? Getting in your car and just taking off?”

He’d balked at the idea of driving off without any plan, with minimal bags packed. Now, Steve would do anything if it meant they could have that future. They could slowly make their way to California, stopping at all of the cheesy tourist sites along the way. Steve would wrestle Billy into a dorky hat at the largest ball of yarn in the country and would make a solid attempt at getting arrested for trying to pet a bear at Yellowstone. He’d share sketchy motel rooms with him and complain about how uncomfortable the mattresses were, and even accept the teasing about him being a rich kid through and through.

He’d take all of it, for just a little bit of time.

Billy was coughing now, and the dark blood staining his lips and chin were only another sign of the inevitable. Even through all of that, he managed to say something. 

“I lo—”

“No,” Steve snapped out, hand still holding Billy’s squeezing tightly. No, it wasn’t time. He wasn’t ready to lose him, not when they were just finding out that they’d been right this whole time. “No, don’t say it.”

If he didn’t say it, they could have more time. They could have more, as long as those three words on Steve’s arm were never spoken aloud.

Except the light in Billy’s eyes faded all the same, and the words he’d never actually said felt like a mockery on Steve’s arm.

“Steve, you have to go to the funeral. You’ll be upset with yourself later if you don’t.”

Robin still came by, sometimes. He wasn’t good company, hadn’t been since Starcourt, but she sat with him anyway.

“He’s not dead,” Steve said, arms curling tighter around his pillow like if he just held on it might feel like Billy eventually.

“Steve.” The words were sad, wobbly with tears he knew she was trying to bravely fight off. 

“He’s not. He didn’t say it, so he’s not gone.”

They’ve had this conversation before. Once, three days after Starcourt when she was still required to watch over him in case his head injury from the Russian interrogation turned for the worst. It had been in the late hours of the night, both of them laid in his bed awake and staring at the ceiling. She’d turned to face him, hand coming out to hold onto her friend when he admitted what he knew. 

Billy couldn’t be dead, because if he was then he would’ve said it.

“I know you lo—” The word cracked harshly on her tongue. “I know how important he was to you. But he’s, there’s no way he made it. You know that, right? He’d want you to move on.”

The thought alone had a dull laugh building in Steve’s chest. The longer it sounded the more hysterical it came, until he was laughing and letting out hoarse sobs in between. Robin’s eyes were wide and her lips were parted in both shock and horror at the outburst, clearly not knowing how to handle him now.

“He wouldn’t,” Steve said once the laughter died down, leaving behind only the tears. “The bastard would’ve told me not to move on. He’d expect a mourning widow for at least a decade, maybe two. But I won’t do that because he didn’t say the words so he’s not dead. He can’t be, he’s too stubborn to die in this fucking town.”

“Have you…you didn’t say the words on his arm either.” Max, the little traitor. “You’re allowed to love someone even if they’re not the one, you know? Maybe there’s someone else out there, and that’s not to say you have to stop loving him, just that you can love this person too.”

It was the more reasonable answer, but the mere thought of accepting that Billy was truly gone sent his heart threatening to burst straight out of his chest. There had to be another explanation, because there was no way that the guy who snuck out near every night despite the threat of discovery simply so Steve wouldn’t be lonely in his big, empty home wasn’t his soulmate.

“I can’t mourn someone who’s not dead, Robin. Tell Max and Susan I’m sorry.”

When the Upside Down inevitably came back, Steve didn’t feel his usual amounts of fear.

He was determined—completely focused and ready to take down the thing that had taken too much from him already. 

When Max admitted that the visions being sent to her by the fucking thing were of Billy, Steve thought he’d only ever see in shades of red. 

Because how dare that monster try to twist and mutilate any of Max’s affection for her brother into something like guilt? How dare he try to ruin the shaky truce that they’d come to just before Billy died?

How dare that monster wear Billy’s face, and use his voice?

Even if it took the rest of him, Steve would make sure that nothing from the Upside Down to crawl its way into Hawkins ever again.

“Steve! What the hell happened?” That was Robin’s voice, though it sounded further away than he thought she actually was. 

He was still seeing in tunnel vision, vision slightly blurry and blood pounding in his ears as he surveilled the scene, ensuring no more of those demobats had appeared.

He didn’t even feel the bites taken out of him until the others got near, Nancy’s worried gaze focused on the exposed skin just above his hips. 

“Hey guys, I think I found the gate,” Steve forced out on his next heaving breath.

That was a lot of blood, wasn’t it? It seemed the Upside Down took his promise seriously and would try to take literal pieces of him with it. 

That was fine, so long as this ended with Vecna’s plan stopped short in its tracks.

“Something’s coming,” Eddie called out, eyes watching the treeline ahead of them as Nancy and Robin looked over Steve’s wounds. They wouldn’t be fatal, at least not for awhile yet. He still had enough time to avenge his soulmate’s not-death.

Steve didn’t have his trusty nail bat, or much else in the way of a weapon. But he’d taken down a pack of demobats with nothing but his hands (and teeth), so whatever had the nerve to attack them now would come to regret it, of that he was sure.

It had to be another trick. Maybe this was Vecna trying to take hold of Steve’s guilt now, forcing him to see the one thing that repeated in his head every night in his dreams. Because walking out of the trees now was Billy fucking Hargrove, still in a bloodstained white tank though having also acquired a jacket that looked suspiciously like one Steve used to wear constantly in his earlier high school years. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” the fake Billy called out, “you’re doing what the fucker wants.”

Robin was nudging Steve’s arm, threatening to send him toppling into the dirt with how unsteady his injuries had already made him. She looked more hopeful than he felt, watching him with confusion as if she expected Steve to take off running into fake-Billy’s arms without question.

He knew Billy couldn’t be dead, but why the fuck would he be here?

The fake-Billy was upon them now, stood in front of Steve and looking at him with one eyebrow raised. It was this look that made Steve’s knees crumple in on his own weight, because God that was such a Billy move to challenge him even while announcing his not-death.

“You’re not dead,” Steve gasped out, stumbling back a step in an attempt to stay upright. “I knew you weren’t dead.”

“Then why d’you still look like you’re seeing a ghost, Harrington?”

The smile on Billy’s face was small, a little tug of the corner of his lips like he was still insistent on hiding it around other people. It said enough, though. 

This was Billy, back from the dead. He hadn’t said the words and he hadn’t died, and all of that time Steve thought they’d lost was never really gone after all. 

The kiss was pretty bad, by Steve Harrington standards. He rushed forward too roughly and their teeth clicked together awkwardly as Steve grabbed both sides of Billy’s face and pressed their mouths together. They had a better kiss right after, when Steve pulled back and watched Billy with a wild gaze until the blonde pressed their lips together again, hands holding onto Steve so tightly he was sure there’d be bruises left behind later. He didn’t care, not when it was another sign that Billy hadn’t truly been gone.

There was something desperate and wild in Billy’s eyes too, like he hadn’t quite believed this moment would ever happen either. Steve didn’t know what he had to go through to survive this long in the Upside Down, and while he’s sure he’ll find out eventually he can’t bring himself to care in the moment because all he could think was Billy isn’t dead.

“I lo—”

“I know, me too,” Steve cut him off, never wanting to hear those words in Billy’s voice. He knew, too, that eventually he would just as he’d known that their end did not come in the main walkway of Starcourt Mall. But for now, he could find peace in delaying the inevitable, in letting their hold on each other say everything those words could have and more.

There was still so much to do, too many important parts of their lives to fight for and protect. It felt a little more possible, though, with Billy by his side.

After all, who else could say they cheated the universe? They’d confirmed for themselves what everyone else could only guess at: Steve Harrington and Billy Hargrove were meant for each other, and it was as simple as that.

I am so pleased to hand it off to the amazing and lovely @greyghoulclub ✨

#harringrove relay race #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #stranger things #harringrove fic #soulmate au

[duskyashe]

NaNoWriMo Day #27

[masterlist]

Prompt found here

Thanks @stealingyourbones and @newdog14 for the prompt!

=============‹«⟨∆⟩»›=============

"—the door will remain locked and sealed, with a small amount of anesthetic gasses pumped into the room at ten minute intervals, until either you're rescued or one of you answers my riddle! What... Does the sign at the cemetery say?" The Riddler asked through the speaker above the door.

"Do not pass."

The answer was out of his mouth barely a second after the riddle was said; though, to be fair, it was less of a riddle and more of a pun—a death pun at that, which he'd spent the majority of his teens researching and creating more of. Jazz had said it was his way of coping with his accident, and, well, she wasn't exactly wrong, okay?

Danny's stomach dropped to his knees in realization. Three simple words, spoken reflexively and without intent, had just destroyed everything. He was supposed to be keeping his head down, not drawing attention to himself, and here he was, throwing three years worth of hard work down the drain. He was screwed. Jazz was going to be so disappointed in him, he knew it.

He was starting to worry he'd been wrong, and his fellow hostages were about to see him get shot or something equally traumatizing, when the light on the lock turned green. He breathed a sigh of relief and cautiously opened the door. Riddler could usually be trusted to keep his word, but Danny wanted to be safe. He didn't want to put his faith in the man relying on a single riddle—a pun at that—for his entire plan. The universe just wasn't that kind to him. But no, there really had only been the one pun locked door between unconsciousness and freedom. Danny sighed. This just wasn't his night.

=============‹«⟨∆⟩»›=============

When Danny had finished with his report, he wasn't surprised in the least to get called to Gordon's office. He hadn't been there since he'd been offered his promotion, which he was coming to regret accepting in spite of the serious boost to his paycheck. Ever since he'd been promoted to Major Crime, he'd been having more and more run-ins with Gotham's rogues, both on and off the clock. He'd known it was only a matter of time before he caught the wrong kind of attention, the kind of attention he'd been hoping to avoid for as long as possible. He could handle rogues, he could handle some extra scrutiny from his co-workers for how often he got away from said rogues unscathed, but the Bat? He had wanted to avoid him for as long as humanly—and inhumanly—possible, but after tonight's events... Let's just say he hoped he'd be able to transfer to another city's police force once Batman was done with him.

"Nightingale, you up for some old fashioned stair climbing tonight?" Gordon may have phrased it like a question, but Danny knew it wasn't.

"Yes, sir," he replied with a sigh. Oh well, might as well get this over with. And besides, he kinda wanted to see the bat signal up close and personal before he was outed as not human.

=============‹«⟨∆⟩»›=============

On the roof of the police department, Danny glanced at Gordon before he walked over to the giant spotlight that had become so iconic. The bat symbol in the center of the unlit light provoked such a sense of relief and respect in the normal Gotham citizen when it was seen, but Danny could only see his visions for the future go up in smoke.

"I'm assuming I'm up here to meet the big guy?" Danny asked without looking back at his boss.

"He said he had some questions for you. Hope you don't mind."

He sighed but shook his head. "Not really, I actually was kind of expecting it at some point, considering my track record so far." Danny heard the soft sound of someone carefully landing on an asphalt roof and took a bracing breath.

"Daniel J Nightingale, twenty-four, from a small town in Illinois, one sister, one cousin, no parents on record. Your records are good, they nearly had us fooled, but Oracle found something you missed when falsifying them."

Danny turned to face the dark knight. He leveled the man a challenging look. "What are you going to do about it?"

The man slowly stalked toward Danny until he was within arms reach. "I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago," he said. Danny blinked and suddenly, Batman's arms were around Danny's shoulders and he was being drawn into a hug. "I'm sorry I never knew about you. I'm sorry I never looked." After a moment to process what was happening, Danny melted into the hug and returned it.

"It's okay. You couldn't have known. I forgive you, dad," he whispered through his tears. Well, that wasn't as bad as he'd feared it would be.

=============‹«⟨∆⟩»›=============

Sorry for not posting anything at all yesterday, as you may know, it was my birthday yesterday, and life got a bit hectic (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) and not in a fun way. We had some bad news come in from a family member out west, and it threw all our plans into chaos and disarray. Today was better, no bad news bombs got dropped on me today, though it was very exhausting, so I'm not sure how well this ficlet turned out, sorry (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

I'm probably going to play a bit fast and loose with my personal NaNoWriMo rules for the rest of this week, cuz I've been struggling to find prompts I'm actually interested in writing (⁠；⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠）hopefully I can get a few sequels or third parts out before the end of the month!

Have a good morning/day/night!

#danny phantom #batman #fanfic #dc x dp #dp x dc #dp crossover #dp au #fanfiction #nanowrimo 2022 #NaNoWriMo Day 27 #in case it isn't obvious #Danny is Bruce's kid that Bruce didn't know about until Babs started looking into Daniel J Nightingale and she found something fishy #i don't know how Gotham's police force works so i don't know how accurate this was which probably doesn't matter in the first place... #sorry i'm rambling #I'm half asleep right now heh

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias/Trent Alexander Arnold x Reader - Dark Rivarly Part 9/15

⚠️WARNING⚠️

*Violence

Part 10 and 11 are already out on my Patreon!

Reader is Trent Alexander Arnold's twin sister. The two have been inseparable since childbirth, more so now when Reader is fresh out of university looking for a job, crashing at her brother's place whilst doing so. One day Reader gets a job offer that she cannot refuse, however it would mean working for her brother's biggest rival in football, Ruben Dias.

Enjoy!

Man City vs Liverpool. It was a disaster bound to happen. Perhaps the exact reason why Jennifer begged to tag along as you and your family gathered for a spectacular afternoon at the Etihad Stadium. The atmosphere was unmatched, the crowd giddy for what's to come. You however, couldn't stop biting your nails in agony.

"Doesn't Ruben want you sitting near his bench, why are you on Liverpool's side of the stands?"

"Because..." You said, gritting your teeth for Jenny to keep her voice down. "Only you and grandma know I'm dating Ruben."

"You seriously haven't told your parents yet? Trent I understand, but don't you think the rest of your family would be more accepting?"

"No." Was your answer. Your grandma seemed to have come to terms with the situation, but only because she had seen first hand how much you cared about Ruben and he you. He would usually drop you off at the apartment after work and was not afraid to greet grandma at the door. He would greet her with a smile on his face and fondly ask about how her day went and if business at the shop was going good. It was not an act to win her over, grandma would've seen right through that. Ruben was just genuinely a polite person who was raised right by his parents. However, you strongly believed that despite how well raised he was, it would be hard for your parents to look past the fact that Ruben played for Manchester City, the team that had robbed them of so much joy.

"I dunno?" Jenny said, after hearing you out. "That altercation between your brother and Ruben was a long time ago, don't you think they're over it by now? If I were Trent I would be, how else is he gonna be able to focus on today's game if he still got his head wrapped around what's happened in past games?"

"Trust me." You said. "If there is something my brother can do, it's to hold a grudge."

You sat back in your seats as the Liverpool crowd, including your parents, started singing. The game was about to begin.

Despite having the majority of the crowd on their side, Man City struggled to control the game. Liverpool was fighting back with their supporters chanting them on.

"We are the Scousers

The cocks of the north!"

"We hate Man United

And City of course!"

"We only drink whiskey

And bottles of brown

The Liverpool boys

Are in town!"

"Na na na na na na na na!"

"What's wrong sweetheart, why aren't you singing along?" Your mother nudged your shoulder, seeing as you were biting your nails rather than singing along with the crowd.

"Yeah, Y/N why aren't you singing along?" Jenny smiled.

You threw her an evil glance. The lump in your stomach grew heavy as you turned your attention back to the game. Ruben looked furious. It was a bad game for him. Liverpool had managed to get two goals past his defense. The worst part was that one of those goals had been done by Trent, who was now getting cocky with the support from the crowd.

"Here he goes, here he goes!" Your dad alerted.

It was another corner shot from Liverpool, taken by Mac Allister. The ball flew past all the city players' heads, landing right on top of Virgil van Dijk's, who butted the ball to the ground for Trent's foot to tap it into the goal.

"3-0!"

The Liverpool crowd were on their feet, celebrating like maniacs. The game ended with the standing result as the referee blew his whistle.

"What a game! Let's celebrate." Your dad suggested, as your family followed the stream of people leaving the stadium.

"We have to wait for Trent." Your mother said.

"Don't worry bub, he'll meet us at the restaurant. Jenny, you said you knew a place?"

"Sure. I know a place not too far away from the shop."

"Great, let's go!"

Your family and Jenny walked ahead but you were hesitant to leave.

"Y/N, you coming?"

You shook your head. "I...I should stay. Wait for Trent. He might not know the way to the restaurant."

"Suit yourself." Your dad shrugged. "Just don't let him hold you up in the locker room, the guys might take a while."

"I'll be alright." You said,  ignoring the looks that Jenny and Grandma threw your way. You were left standing in the middle of the stadium parking lot, but not the public one, the one close to the gates where fans waited in hopes of spotting their favorite player.

"I'm outside." You texted, not Trent but Ruben. You felt a need to check on him after such a tough game.

"Be there in five." He replied.

And so you waited. And waited.

Fans scattered after having their jerseys signed by City players, they were the first people to leave the building.

"Hey."

There was a light tap on your shoulder. You turned around to see Ruben, looking defeated and exhausted from the game.

"Hey." You smiled. "Tough game?"

"Don't mock me."

You frowned.  "I'm not mocking you."

He sighed, and brought you in for a hug. "I bet your family enjoyed the game though."

"Ruben. " You pulled back to look at him.

"I'm just saying." He shrugged. "It's not like they were cheering for me."

"I was cheering for you."

"Were you?

"Yes Ruben. Believe it or not but I was."

He was grumpy, kicking something invisible on the ground. "Are you coming with me or are you headed somewhere?" He raised his head to look at you.

You sighed. "My family is celebrating at a bar in town."

He snorted. "Of course they are."

You rolled your eyes. "They're here for the weekend, Ruben, what am I supposed to do? And don't make me choose between you and my family because that would be incredibly unfair."

Ruben's shoulders withered, realizing what he was making you do. "I...I'm sorry." His gym bag dropped to the ground as he reached out his arms to you. You stumbled into his warm embrace and stayed there, letting Ruben sway you in his arms. "I never meant to make you choose between me and your family." He spoke against your temple. "Just having you like this is a privilege enough for me."

Your arms wrapped tighter around Ruben's waist. He was yours to keep.

"And you didn't hear this from me...but I guess your brother played a pretty good game."

You gasped, pulling out of the hug. "Was that....a compliment I heard?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Nah ah, don't be shy now Dias, I think you just compliment your fellow rival."

He wiggled out of your grip to hide his smile.

"Are you proving to be the bigger man, is that what this is?"

"The biggest." He nodded. "Bigger than any other man you've been with."

You laughed as he railed you in, attacking your neck with wet kisses.

"Stop it Ruben, it tickles."

He mumbled against your skin. "Not until you admit that I'm the biggest you've ever had."

"Never."

"No?"

"Aaaah, Ruben." You squealed as his arm went under your legs, swooping them up under you as he lifted you up in his arms, twirling you around, bridal style.

"Ruben, please"

"Admit it."

"No, hahahah."

"You fucking....get off her!"

Suddenly you were tackled to the ground,  with Ruben trying his best not to let you hit the concrete before him. Recovering from the initial fall you looked up to see Trent, towering over Ruben with a fuming look on his face.

"Have you lost your mind?" Ruben shouted. "She could have gotten hurt." He shot to his feet, pushing Trent back two steps.

"What are you doing, touching my sister?" Trent pushed back, but didn't have as much impact on Ruben who was bigger.

"Guys, stop it!" You got up from the ground trying to come between them. A big mistake, because as Ruben wrapped a hand around your waist, checking to see if you had hurt yourself from the fall, Trent saw red.

"Trent!"

You screamed as he swung at Ruben, the blow of his fist striking Ruben on the nose, making him bleed. You stepped back as Ruben rushed your brother,  tackling him to the ground, raising himself to tower over him as he delivered equally as bone crushing punches.

"Ruben stop!" Your voice broke, your desperate shouts alerting the people around you, players and staff from both teams, rushing to disrupt the fight.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Ruben's friend John was one of the first people on the scene,  grabbing a hold of Ruben, pulling him off of your brother. It was a horrific scene with medical staff from both teams rushing to check on Trent. It was heartbreaking for you to see him like that, bloody in the face and knocked out on the ground, all in the hands of....

"Y/N?"

You flinched as someone grasped your arm. It was Ruben, who looked terrified at the way you reacted when he touched you. "It's me, don't be..." He reached out again, your eyes darting at his bruised  knuckles. Luckily John was quicker. "Let her go, let her..." He looked at you, seeing the terror in your eyes. "I'll take him home. You stay with your brother."

You nodded. "Okay."

He escorted Ruben across the parking lot, the two of them driving away in the night. Whilst the medical staff alerted for the ambulance to come, you brought your phone to light, dialing Grandma's phone number with trembling hands. She picked up after the second tone.

"Y/N?"

"Grandma?" You sniffled, phone pressed to your ear. "It's all my fault....."

#fanfiction #football imagine #ruben dias #man city #manchester city #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #ruben dias x reader #football angst #ruben dias imagine #liverpool fc #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander imagines #trent alexander arnold

[romanarose]

For The Longest Time: Chapter 1

William Miller x fem!OC (Lorelei Giang)

Masterlist

Summary: Lorelei keeps running into William Miller in town. She can't seem to avoid him, as much as she tries to. The last time they run into each other, Lorelei is forced to accept his kindness she's been suspicious of for months.

Content and Warning (For chapter) SPOILERS IS WARNINGS, READ AT UR OWN RISK: Mentions of eating disorders, over exercising and skipping meals, domestic violence, Lorelei is a suspicious and distrusting of Will and everyone in general. That's part of her arch. Will is an absolute sweetie. Illusions to smut that will be shown next chapter. Unplanned pregnancy.

A/N: This fic takes place in the Romana TFverse, AKA the LaL universe. Takes place after and has characters from Leather and Lace (Santi and Laci) and the next series, Take Your Time (Frankie and Jana). You do NOT HAVE TO READ THESE TO READ THIS SERIES. some of the characters relations with each other mean more if you do, but Im specifically writing this to stand alone.

Not a whole lot of Will content out there so hopfully you enjoy!

*****************

It was already shaping up to be a long night shift when Benjamin Miller walked in. It wasn’t that Lorelei had a problem with him specifically, but it was just one more thing to do. Benjamin, or Benny as the younger nurses called him with a giggle, was a nice young man, friendly, always had a smile on his face even if that face was bloody, and a handsome face too; she wasn’t going to deny it. He’d been in and out before, but she’d never met his brother until this night. Oftentimes it was his friend that took him in whose name she couldn’t remember but always wore a ballcap no matter the time of night, but sometimes it was random people. His brother must have picked him up a time or two because when he walked in with a bloody Benjamin she recognized him.

Lorelei crossed her arms. “Benjamin Miller. Again.” She sighed, tired, but also disappointed. He’d been gone for a while, staying out of trouble until now. “What is it this time?”

The brother interjected himself. “This dumbass got into a fight and we need to make sure he isn’t concussed” He then smacked Benjamin on his possibly-concussed head.

She was already in a mood, and the tall blonde was not helping. “Hey! Don’t hit my patients.” She motioned for a wheelchair. Benjamin she could handle, his brother she wasn’t thrilled with. Behind them trailed a short blonde girl. Sister maybe? She certainly wouldn’t have inherited their height, there was at least a foot difference, but she had their blonde hair, fair skin and blue eyes, although her blue was more pale, while the boys were bright. Girlfriend of one of them?

“It’s okay” the brother laughed, smiling a bright smile, but that just made matters worse for Lorelei. “He’s my brother”

“I didn’t ask. He’s my patient, this is my hospital, behave or leave.”

He raised his hands in defeat. “Yes Ma’am. His slight southern drawl coming out.”

Lorelei turned to the nurse that would be doing his intake. “Get him a scan, make sure he somehow avoided traumatic brain injury again.” The boy was asking for a problem. She wasn’t sure how much older she was than him, if at all, but she felt motherly as she often did.

The brother yelled at Benjamin about him not flirting with nurses, illiciating another glare from Lorelei. When he saw her unhappy face, he apologized and reached out a hand. “William Miller.”

Lorelei was more interested in the young girl standing quietly behind them who hasn’t said a word, looked nervous, and had traces of blood around her nose. As a nurse of 10 years, Lorelei clocked the warning signs of abuse and only briefly shook William’s hand, not bothering to look at him. “Lorelei” And she moved to the girl. “What happened to you?”

Loralei continued, motioning her thumb back towards where Benny went. “You guys get in a fight? “

Will leaned in. “Actually, she got in the middle of another fight-”

She simply held a hand up to him. “I wasn’t asking you.” Her intense gaze was focused on Laci, her tone was soft. She looked scared, pink lips sealed tightly shut. Another warning.

Laci shook her head.

Will tried again. “She has-”

This was her last straw with him, over the man injecting himself into every conversation. ““William, I’m going to need you to step back, please.” 

Will opened his mouth to argue, but closed it when he decided better. He turned to Laci. “Use your notes app, I’ll be over here.” With a soft smile to Laci and a nod to Lorelei, he walked away.

Lorelei turned back to Laci. “Hey honey, everything okay?”

The girl pulled out her phone and typed in the notes app.

Laci took a moment to type. ‘I have trouble talking sometimes. Ben and Will are my friends.’

Lorelei nodded, but continued. “Did one of them hit you?”

Laci considered lying, but opted for the truth. ‘Kinda. Benny got in a fight and I tried to stop him, he accidentally hit me. That’s it.’

Watching her carefully, looking for the hint of a lie… but could find no reason to suspect anything other than what she was told.

“Wait out here, fill out these forms, he’ll be done soon” She began to walk away.

Will cleared his throat. When Lorelei turned back to him, she was greeted with a cheeky smile. “Yes?” She asked.

Will raised an eyebrow at her. “Well?”

She smiled back, but put her hands on her hips, challenging him. “Well what?”

At that, Will scoffed, still keeping his smile despite his mock offense. “Well?! You basically accused me of hitting her, and I didn’t.”

Lorelei's smile was a challenge, ‘keep going’ it said ‘I’m not backing down’ “I won’t apologize for seeing clues and being suspicious. You work in my line of work for one week, you’d do the same. I’ll talk to you when your brother is discharged.” She walked off.

Benny was fine, although she told him to quite fucking around before he found out.

“That girl your sister?” She asked, finishing his discharge papers before she sent him on his way with another worse. She didn’t want to deal with William again.

Benjamin chuckled a little. “No, that’s my best friend, Laci. She’s dating my friend Santiago, you might have seen him picking me up a few times.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell, but I think I’d prefer him above your brother, he’s a pain.”

Once again, Benjamin laughed. He liked to laugh, didn’t he? “Lore, I guarantee you, Santi would be way more of a pain in the ass than Will.”

Lorelei put both hands on his shoulders. “Quick. Fucking. Drinking, Miller.” And she sent him on his way. 

The next time she ran into William Miller she was out to dinner, she was out to dinner with Tyler, less than thrilled with the blatant way he and the waitress flirted as if you weren’t right there. Lorelei couldn’t be too upset with her, a girl had to make money. Little did she know, Tyler was a shitty tipper even if he got a face full of tits every time he got his drink refilled. She wasn’t sure why she was with him, honestly. They met in Philadelphia when Tyler was still in the navy and Lorelei was somehow convinced to leave Philadelphia to live with him here in this little Florida town. Bad idea. But it wasn’t like there was much left for her in Philadelphia either, just a lot of family she preferred not to talk to outside of holidays and birthdays.

So here she was, living with some mid-looking asshole who didn’t do the dishes because ‘You do it better’. This was not the life she had wanted. 

But she also did not want to run into Will on her way back inside the restaurant because she ‘forgot something’.

Literally running to him. 

“Oof” Was the sound above her, strong arms steady of her, keeping her from falling but not holding on a second longer than appropriate. “Sorry about that, ma’am- oh! Benny’s nurse.” Great, he recognized her. 

“Well I’m not Benjamin’s personal nurse, but yeah, that’s me.”

He opened his mouth but was cut off by Tyler yelling. “Hurry up! I’m going to the damn car!” and walk away.

She rolled her eyes, and when they landed back on him, he was frowning. “Who was that.”

“My asshole boyfriend.” She reached into her wallet, pulling out a $10 as she shook her head. “He’s mad because I’m mad he tipped the waitress $2, as if we don’t both make good money” She plopped the money on their table. 

“Well, that’s nice of you. But what on earth are you doing with someone like that?”

Lorelei couldn’t help but scoff at the audacity. “How about you just mind your business, how about that?” 

Was it a little rude? Sure. But She had spent an hour getting ready for this date, curling her black hair into barrel curls, painting her lips red and her eyes with Maralyn Monroe bedroom eyes all to get ignored, and all she had to look forward to was Tyler likely wanting to mess up her make up with a dick down her throat and maybe, if she was lucky, stick a dick inside her for 5 minutes in which she had to touch herself to try and get off. Stupid fucking date, stupid fucking yee-haw town, stupid fucking men. She knew it was bad when she looked forward to work. It wasn’t that she didn’t have friends at work, but that was just it. Work friends. Everyone else her age were married and kids and it was pretty rare they had the same days off and Tyler was always out with his dumbass friends leaving Lorelei alone with her vibrator, red wine and her collection of Liz Taylor remastered movies. Plus, Tyler said he knew the Miller’s in high school, and William was a dick. 

He looked angry for a second, but pursed his lips, breathed, and then looked… sad. “I stand by what I said, you deserve better.” and with that, he walked away. 

Annoying ass. 

The next time she saw him, they didn’t talk until she had opened her eyes after passing out on the floor. Of course they went to the same goddamn gym. She should’ve known, she’d seen Benjamin here a time or two, but never his brother until now; at least as she knew.

Benjamin wasn’t accompanying William, however. Clutched to his hand was the same very small woman from that first night, straight blonde hair grown out to her shoulders now. Noting the hand holding, she concluded they must be dating. She was wearing cute workout clothes, expensive, and Lorelei couldn’t help but wonder how she managed to be so thin. She knew it was unprofessional; a nurse knows it could be anything from an eating disorder, drugs, high metabolism, sickness. It didn’t necessarily mean she was trying to look like that… still, Lorelei couldn’t help but watch them as she ran on the treadmill. She was surprised to see then go to the weights… maybe she wasn’t trying to be so skinny after all. Her face had filled in more since she saw her last.

Shaking off the distraction, Lorelei got back to work and speed up the treadmill; she was trying to get to a 10 minute mile, the focus should be on the time… but she kept looking at the calories burned section as it ticked higher and higher. She couldn’t help it, setting the speed fasting and the inclined higher.

And higher.

And higher still.

She closed her eye to make that last push… and didn’t open them until she was on the ground, her arm burning, and even though she was certain her eyes were open she couldn’t see. All she was aware of was touch and muffled talking above her as some clothe was placed over her and the distinct feeling of her sports bra being cut off; she felt like she could breathe again. Was she roofied? No, she was at the gym… why did her arm hurt? She was being picked up by strong arms and soon felt the of a fan as she is placed on her side. Recovery position. Whoever was with her knew their first aid.

Slowly but surely she came into consciousness as her vitals were being checked, opening her eyes one more to find William god dam Miller hovering over her, worried expression relaxing just a tad when he saw her wake up. 

“What the fuck- what happened?” She pushed his arms away from her, not thrilled with being touched while technically naked under the- what is it? Jacket? 

“You passed out on the treadmill. I noticed you were looking rough so I can to check on you, good thing I did, was able to pull the emergency stop when you fell. Not fast enough, I’m afraid.”

Lorelei glances at her arm. “What the fuck? Fucking ow.” A bad rug burn on her arm, dried blood and open skin. “Fuuuuuckkk” She went to sit up, but was stopped by tiny, soft hands keeping the jacket firmly on her chest.

“Sorry.” The woman said. “Your bra was really tight, so we cut it off.”

William was quick to clarify. “She cut it off, don’t worry.”

She wouldn’t have been concerned with well-intentioned help from a man needing to cut off her bra, but the fact he had the forethought to cover her up and have a female do the work close to her chest… well, she couldn’t find anything to be irritated with today. 

Sirens in the distance.

“Oh, yeah, Laci called an ambulance, just in case.”

Yeah, she should probably go to the ER. Between the burn and passing out, it was a good idea. “I need my phone.” Fully expecting it to still be at the treadmill, Lorelei was surprised to see the blonde girl, Laci, pull it out of her own jacket. Lorlei must be wearing Will’s. Dialing Tyler, she dreaded telling him. “Tyler, I need you to meet me at the hospital.”

‘What did you do?’

Lovely. ‘“I passed out at the gym-”

‘Your going to the ER for that? Lora, that’ll be like, 3 thousand dollars!’

It wouldn’t be nearly that bad with hospital insurance. “You don’t pay my goddamn bills anyway so what do you care? Just get there in an hour to pick me up.” She hung up on him. Asshole.

Laci was dodging her eyes and William looked sympathetic. “We could go with-”

“No, I’m fine. I just need to get checked up and bandaged but it’s probably nothing.”

William wasn’t buying it. “I don’t want to just leave you stranded with that shithead doesn’t show. It could be heat stroke, or a seizure or-”

“I know the causes of fainting, William, thank you.” She bit at him, feeling guilty for her harsh demeanor when he helped her, but feeling like the attitude had a life of its own. “But it’s probably just because I didn’t eat yet.”

He frowned. “Why didn’t you eat before running?”

“Ugh, I just forgot, worked a double and there was the crash off the exit ramp so we were busy.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t work out after a double shift when you didn’t eat?” He bit right back, not taking her sass. His girlfriend whispered his name softly, something that seemed to calm him.

 The ambulance arrived, and Will helped her sit up. “Put your arms through the sleeves. Lace, can you zip up the back?”

Lorelei tried to protest that she didn’t want to steal his jacket, that she was sure the ambulance had a blanket she could cover with but Will wouldn’t here it. Lorelei slept in that blue jacket sometimes after that… it was really soft.

They kept meeting accidentally, over and over again, for months. He always annoyed her. He always had something to say about her relationship, her choices, and whenever she snapped at him he sassed right back… but never unkind, never rude. Maybe that was the infuriating part. He wouldn’t be deterred. She wanted him to just stop talking to her. She had a boyfriend, he had a girlfriend… but that didn’t stop her from fantasizing about him in the bath as he fingers played between legs. It wasn’t her fault he was that god damn handsome… and tall. So tall… he had almost a foot on her at least and his shoulders were so goddamn broad. Did he play football in high school? He did, she found out, after finding Tyler’s year book and looking for Millers in every grade. There he was, William John Miller. He did football, and surprisingly enough photography all 4 years as well as choir, and track. 

Curiosity got to her and she found Benjamin Joseph Miller a year below him, same class as Tyler, but also found his pictures in the football teams page next to Will. After digging through all 4 of Tylers books and getting all the information she could, she sluthed out that Benjamin was in wrestling freshman year, then a linebacker the next 3. He also did arts, but no photography. Drama, oral interp, graphic design as well as welding and woodworking. Freshman year he only did wrestling and had very few pictures. The next two years is when he joined all the clubs, many pictures with him next to someone named Cameron. Then, after junior and senior year he was only in football.

A little more digging. Cameron Andrew MacDonald was in William’s class, putting him a year above Benjamin and Tyler. Did Cameron drag Benjamin into all these activities? He was in Drama, oral interp, graphic design, welding and woodworking all 4 years. Interesting, interesting.

She looked for every piece of the puzzle that was the Miller brothers she could.

Will’s girlfriend doesn’t seem to be in the books so they didn’t meet there.

A senior beach trip where Will kept his shirt on amongst a sea of shirtless men. A bit odd, considering the body of a football player is something they usually like to show off, but that wasn’t her business.

Benny playing Hamlet.

A lot of pictures with Benny. He seemed to be well liked, at least the later years.

When did she start calling him Benny?

After being so nosy she couldn’t help feel… attached in some way.

All that came to a culmination in the very early spring, she stood outside in that very same blue jacket and PJ pants, faced away and scrolling for hotel options that still had rooms at this hour when you hear his goddamn voice behind you, gleeful and teasing. 

“Well, well, well, look who it is.” The older Miller chuckled and Lorelei turned around to see him walking towards her, smiling with his hands in is pockets. “We’ve got to stop meeting like-” He stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed to glisen of tears in her eyes and the bright red mark prominent even on her golden brown skin. His face immediately darkened. “Who did this to you.”

She couldn’t help but feel relieved to see him. Did he get on her nerves? Yes. But she knew he was safe. “Tyler, but-”

William turned on a heel, storming up the steps to the apartment complex door.

“William, wait!”

“I'm gonna kick his ass!”

She grabbed his hand. “I already did!”

Lorelei showed him her fist and he took it in his hands. They were so large, the skin callused and rough, but the touch was so careful as he examined her left hand that she was pretty sure knocked out a tooth. Or two. There was some blood on her skin and her fist and wrist hurt, but there wasn’t going to be much red showing up with her skin tone. It would probably swell in a bit, however. She was not someone who really knew how to fight, her win came from an element of surprise. Lorelei long suspected Tyler though dating her meant a docile asian wifey, not expecting someone so short to put up a fight. He underestimated the power of her anger.

“You punched him?” Will asked when his blue eyes, still bright in the darkness of night, finally looked into hers again.

She nodded. “A few times.”

The tiniest smile crept up onto his face. “Impressive. I can still go do it again if you want.” He was mostly joking, but something told her he would actually trek up to the apartment and pummel him again.

“No, that’ll just get you arrested. I at least have self defense. Right now I’m just trying to find a hotel, but all seem to be booked.”

He didn’t even hesitate. “You can stay with me?” When he saw her hesitation, Will quietly clarified. “Nothing weird, the guest room door locks from the inside. I just…” He didn’t finish his sentence.

“Thank you, but I really need somewhere to stay longer term until I can find my own apartment.” Her reasons for not going with him were less because she didn’t trust him, although he had an inherent distrust of men, but more her need to be independent. It was crippling, sometimes, but having to ask for help… it was humiliating.

“You can stay long term.” He insisted. 

Lorelei’s scoff was perhaps a little ruder than it needed to be. “Yeah, and what would your girlfriend think of that?”

Confusion spread across his handsome features. “My what?”

“Your girlfriend. Or wife or fiance or whatever.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend”

“Did you just break up?”

“Ma’am, I havn’t been in a relationship since 2019.”

She found that hard to believe, an attractive man like this. “Well who the hell is the blonde girl you were holding hands with at the gym and was with you at the hospital?”

He stared at her for a second, brows furrowed before they unknotted in realization. “Oh! You mean Laci? She’s not my girlfriend, that’s my friend's girlfriend- well, fiance. They got engaged today, actually.” He nudged his thumb behind him. “Was just walking home from their engagement party.”

Now it was Lorelei’s turn to look up at him confused. “Then why the hell were you holding hands with her?” A little side action with his friend's girl?

Pausing, Will seemed to be looking for the right words, and immediately Lorelei was put on guard. He must be trying to find the right words to convince her; to lie. He must be sleeping with her behind his friend's back. 

“She gets… nervous, out in public. She prefers to hold someone’s hand.”

Weird. Sounds fake. “Sure. Yeah.”

He sighs. “Listen, you don’t gotta stay long or nothing, but It’s getting real late. If you don’t have anywhere else to stay, my place isn’t far. We can figure out the rest in the morning.”

Well, it wasn’t like she had many other options. “Fine, but we’re taking my bike.”

Will assumed she wanted to get her bicycle out from a bike rack and take it over. What he did not expect was for Lorelei to walk to a parking spot and hop on a motorcycle. “Well?” She looked back at him. “You getting on, or are you just gonna try and keep up on your feet?”

Will almost offered to drive; he knew how to get to his house, after all and he did have a motorcycle license… but something told him even the offer would put her off more. She was not a passenger princess like Laci. So, with nearly a foot difference in height, Will sat behind the woman and directed her where to turn. She was definitely speeding.

Lorelei was impressed. It wasn’t just nice for a bachelor pad, it was nice. A modest house but well maintained, nothing flashy but god, having a house in this economy was impressive in and of itself. And it was clean. There were sparse decorations, but a few framed pictures and collages of pictures were placed here and there; she saw Will with his brother, some friends, a toddler girl, the woman he swears he isn’t sleeping with… 

“Laci put these together for me. Said my walls were too boring.” He had walked up next to her, pointing to one of Will, Benny, two of their friends and the pretty blonde woman. Will was still wearing a shirt, despite them all being on a beach at a lake house. 

“You grow up with them around here?”

He gave her a funny look. “How’d you know I was from here?”

Lorelei went for honesty. “Tyler said he knew you after I ran into at the restaurant. Said you were an asshole but that shows how good his judgment is.”

William nodded knowingly. “Tyler slapped a girls ass his freshman year, so I slapped him back. Surprisingly, he didn’t like it when it was him.”

She giggled, and immediately shut it up. She shouldn’t be finding him this funny, this endearing… damn that Miller charm.

Ever observant, Will noticed her shift. “You hurting or anything? Need ice?”

“No.” Lorelei shook her head. “It wasn’t that hard, he has a weak arm.”

“I meant for your hand.” He smiled down at her playfully, referencing her left hand.

“Oh. Yeah. I guess.” 

Expecting him to get a bag of frozen pee’s, she was surprised when he came back with a wrist wrap. “No ice?”

“It’s an ice pack that wraps around the wrist.”

She forgot Ben did MMA… but she had a feeling these were more for his fighting outside the ring. 

“Came at a good time, Ben’s been staying out of trouble for once so the room’s actually nice and clean.” He gestured her towards said room and they began walking.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get out of your hair soon enough and it’s back to Benny’s”

After reiterating she can stay as long as she needs, Will gave Lorelei a spare toothbrush and pointed her to a cabinet where he keeps toiletries for any overnight guests and was impressed to find pads and tampons along side decent quality shampoo and conditioner of a few kinds, including hair care for black hair and thin hair. Must get a revolving door of women, she assumed. He told her there would be pj’s and day clothes in the draws and closet and was expecting to find Ben’s clothes, which would have worked fine, but was taken about by rows of neatly folded clothing in a few sizes. What the fuck.

“Are you a serial killer or somethin?”

Will popped his body around the doorframe but did not step into her room. “Huh?”

Hands on her hips, she motioned to the clothes. “This, the variety of shampoos, what the fuck.”

His face relaxed when he saw what hsi guest was referring too. “Oh! All that! Well, I never know whose gonna need to stay the night. I try to keep things on hand incase someone drinks too much or needs a place to crash. There’s some toddler girls clothes and pull ups in the bottom drawer, don’t be alarmed.”

She was slightly incredulous at that. “What for?”

“My niece.”

Benny didn’t have kids, and she knew they didn’t have any other siblings. Lorelei narrowed her eyes. “You don’t have a niece.”

A bright smile spread on his face, like he knew… he knew she had been asking about him. “Not biologically, but my friend, Fish.” William nudged to the wall full of photos. “He has a little girl, Rosie. Suspicious thing, aren’t you?” He grinned at her, large frame leaning around the doorway. 

She was. She knew she was. But despite her suspicions of Will and most people, particularly men in her life, she stayed with Will that night, and after Will helped her pack her things out of the apartment, she stayed with him a few more nights… until she finally just asked if she could stay until she got on her feet.

Will readily agreed, and when Lorelei asked about rent, he refused, but she refused his refusal. 

“I’m an ER nurse, I make good money. That loser just drained most of it. Few months, I’ll be set again.” They settled on $300 a month, and she knew Will caved just for the sake of her pride.

They worked well as roommates. Will had a high standard of cleanliness that Lorelei appreciated, and the two of them could be independent (Lorelei’s odd hours at work, Will spending days with his friends) and still come home and be on the right track. She liked it, honestly. Lorelei was honestly considering asking about staying longer term (For a more reasonable rent, of course) because he seemed to enjoy her company as much as she enjoyed his. He never brought his friends over, which she thought was odd, but she also enjoyed not having a shit ton of men over and their annoying girlfriends like Tyler would do, no matter what hours she worked. Lorelei did have an admitted crush on Will but… who wouldn’t? She enjoyed hearing him talk about his army buddies and Ben and their girlfriends

There was Ben of course, she knew of him by this point, although thankful his ER visits had stopped. Lorelei chalked it up to his new girlfriend, Alice, but Will didn’t seem like a fan. Maybe she was the one to whip him into shape? Alice went to high school with them all, Will’s class, and apparently they’d been on and off behind Will’s back for a year, but knowing how overbearing Will could be towards his younger brother it was understandable.

Then there was Frankie, or ‘Fish’ as he usually called him. Benny, Frankie and two others had served with Will on a special ops team together. Frankie’s girlfriend, Jana, had been stationed in the army with one of those others, Santiago, and Santiago had set them up. Will explained that after the birth of their daughter, Frankie’s addiction got worse and the pair had broken up for a few years, but Frankie got clean for his family and as of a few months ago, they were officially back together. He explained that’s why he had things for Rosie to stay overnight if needed, just in case Frankie had a crisis.

Then there was Santiago and his fiance, Laci, who she was already familiar with. Santiago and Laci had gotten engaged the night she moved in with Will and were planning on getting married this summer, only a few short months later. Will was very vague on how they met, but Will said Santi had helped her out of a bad place and they had fallen in love fast. He always spoke very fondly of her. Of all of them, really.

There was only one problem. The same problem that caused her to stay with Tyler for so long.

She was really horny and really lonely. Not the kind of loneliness you can make go away with spending time watching movies with Will… the kind where you were almost horny for company. She needed that human connection, a connection so long ago lost on her she craves it wherever she can find it. That strive for approval so intense it’s why she skips meals and goes too hard on treadmills and she needs it, so desperate and so forceful it’s controlled her life, forcing her to constantly find other means of control. 

That loss of control was so strong that when he vibrator was just not cutting it, Lorelei found herself wandering out into the living room where Will sat watching Blue Earth.

That same loss of control is how she found herself, a few weeks later, staring at a positive pregnancy test.

******************

This fic is dedicated to Dolli for always encouraging my Will thoughts (and thots)

I hope you guys enjoy their journey! Lorelei will start off rough with, dealing with ED, pregnancy, her daddy issues and a Elizabeth Bennet-esque arch.

Will, for his part, will be learning to trust himself, show up for Lorelei and the baby, and dealing with Benny's spiral and parental death (fair warning, but it is the death of an abusive parent so its complex

@pimosworld @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @whatthefishh @missdictatorme @milkymoon2483 @poeedameronn @itspdameronthings @miraclesabound

#will miller #will miller fanfiction #william miller #william miller smut #fem!oc #william miller x oc #triple frontier #william miller fluff #william miller angst #triple frontier fanfiction #triple frontier fic

[sofasoap]

Am I full of sorrow, or filled with love.

Pairing: Simon “Ghost ” Riley x f!Reader ( OC aka Mini MacTavish )

Summary : Part II of " Love, Do not pass me by." Our emotionally constipated boy Simon is having a moment of self reflection. And realise the universe hates him.

Warning: Mature theme, swearing. Alcohol use ( be RESPONSIBLE drinker people.) Unplanned pregnancy ( safe sex pls!) . mention of abuse. Inaccurate medical facts etc.

Thank you to @saltofmercury ’s for lending me her character from “The Favorite MacTavish” , where the reader/OC is Soap’s little sister. PLEASE GO READ HER STORY first to make sense of this

“masterlist” for more stories to this Mini MacTavish expanded verse.

The tension within the task force 141 after the unexpected pregnancy news, to say, awkward was an understatement. Luckily, Soap and Ghost acted professional stay civil to each other during missions after a stern warning from Price, but off mission they stay far away from each other as they can.

Alejandro made the mistake of asking about the awkward tension once ( bless his poor soul, can't blame that man) and got death glare coming from both Ghost and Soap while Gaz was strongly hinting him to drop the subject.

Ghost stepped outside to have a moment to himself, away from the party noises which is happening back at Alejandro's base, celebrating another successful mission of reclaiming another town from the cartel.

Taking a drag from his cigarette, he thought back to the event from the last few months, leading right up to the event few weeks earlier on when you came to the base and drop the bombshell about the pregnancy.

First time you two met, he wondering what has he done to deserve this, he is pretty sure his enemies must have cursed him. Instead of cursing him to seven hell, they asked the universe to send him not one but TWO MacTavishes to be in his life and annoy the hell out of him.

He heard about you before, Soap couldn't shut up about his baby sister most time. My sister this, my sister that. She's the most precious thing in the world blah blah. Part of him was curious to meet you. Another part wondering you were just as annoying as his brother. You were.

You actually dare to challenge him to a drinking game. To be fair, a chance to shut Soap up for the entire night was the biggest factor that he accepted the challenge. and you NEARLY beat him. The cocky smile that you showed when you think you were on the cusp of victory, stirred part of his heart he never thought he had. He gets drawn to you, bit by bit with each of the meeting and interaction. The sibling bantering between you and Soap made him miss his brother Thomas. That normal family love that he only got to experience for a little while before the tragedy. He was slightly disappointed and got extremely jealous when he saw you flirting with König.

She's mine. Stay away from my woman. His heart screams.

 ” I am just as cuddly as König if you want to give it a try. And I will keep you nice and warm in the bed as well.“

"My offer still stands, if you are willing." He whispered after walking you back to the accommodation you staying for the weekend, visiting Soap at the barrack. Turning around ,the way you look at at him, confusion and also hint of lust and want just turned him on even more. Does he regret what happen that night? No and yes. No because he had been craving for that light, that little warmth that he has been searching for a long time. All the love and attention you were showing him. Not just some random flings and one night stands. He regrets it because he doesn't deserve any of this. Your gentleness, your laughter, the way you look at him.

The bombshell? His defence mechanism just kicked into gear. "And?" Nonono, don't say that. yes say it. Happiness isn't for you. “ I don’t care. Do whatever you want.” His heart flinches when he saw tears and anger in your eye. It's for the best. His brain tells him.

You will be just the same as your father. You will turn out to be exact same guy. Apple never falls far from the tree. You don't deserve her. Push her away. He can't subject the children to the same fate as him. .....wait.

All of a sudden he realised something.

"... Simon Riley, you are the father of the babies" Did you say BABIES? Are you expecting twins??? A dreaded feeling came to him.

Ding.

Price looking at his phone, email coming through from SAS UK, flagging needing urgent attention. Opening the email, all the smile drained from his face. Gaz noticed it first, bumping his shoulder, asking his Captain what the problem is. Price ignored him and stood up, walking up towards Soap instead who is having what seems to be a good time ( but Price can tell he isn't the usual happy rowdy Soap after a successful mission). "Soap." " Yes Captain? why all this seriousiness?" Soap raise his bottle of beer cheering his captain.

" Is your phone on at all?" Soap pulled out his phone from his side pocket, looked at it,frowning " Aw shites, think I broke it when the bloody asshite knocked me over earlier this morning. better get a new one issued once we get back to base." ".... Mini is in ICU. Your mother tried to contact you but the call couldn't get through, so SAS emailed me just now letting you know. We will get you back to London first flight tomorrow morning. They said there is a chance both her and the babies might not make it." The room just went silent. Ghost caught tail end of the conversation just as he came back into the building. He froze.

He knew it. Everytime he tries to grasp onto that little hope of light, or wanting to make a better man of himself, the universe has another plan for him. You don't deserve happiness We gonna take away everything you want. Make you suffer.

Now he is going to lose the only woman he might possibly dare to say to be the love of his life.

#simon riley x oc #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #simon riley imagine #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley x y/n #johnny soap mactavish #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

(don't drop the gif - I might write it) au victoria/bella prompts please

... Do you really mean AU as in Alternate Universe? Or uh... anything else.

I'm not sure I'm the idea fairy you're looking for but I can give it a shot:

Canon Divergent

That Time Victoria Got Bella and... No One Cared

New Moon happens, Bella's been dumped, the Cullens flee town and Edward forbids Alice from looking in on Bella's life. Victoria manages to get to Bella before Bella knows about the wolves/when she's real deep in depression (Bella's Port Angeles adventure ends up being Hallucination Edward telling her not to wander up to Victoria clearly watching her across a street. "Hello Darkness, my old friend" is what Bella says to that)

Victoria, delighted, prepares to kill Bella but realizes... no one's here... Revenge doesn't mean much if the person you're getting revenge on (Edward) isn't around. At first Victoria assumes he must be watching his precious human, but time passes and... he doesn't show up. The humans have accepted Bella died, where are the Cullens?

Victoria goes on a quest to find them, and there's a slow redemption arc as Victoria and Bella spend a lot of time in each other's company.

That Time the Hunt Went on Longer

Bella doesn't go to Phoenix when hunted by James. As a result, her father's murdered as is her mother and Phil. Bella lives out of hotel rooms, Edward refusing to turn her when Alice has admitted that James would have immediately stopped and gotten bored if Edward had done that. Bella realizes the rest of her life will be lived out of hotel rooms. She starts falling out of love with Edward as the situation becomes increasingly stressful and awful.

On the other side, this is getting spicy even for Victoria, as James is obsessing over this human girl and destroying her personality making it clear that Victoria's just an accessory/useful gift to him. Victoria is forced to realize James doesn't love her and is destroyed by this.

Victoria turns Bella in revenge against both the Cullens (who enabled the destruction of her life) and James (who proved he wasn't her savior after all).

Edward now has vampire Bella despite his best efforts and for all Bella tries to make it work they fall apart. During this she forms a shocking friendship then something more with Victoria.

Victoria Joined the Cullens

James never came across Victoria and hunted her down and at some point Victoria made the acquaintance of the weird hippies called the Cullens.

Desperate, Victoria trades human blood for protection and finds herself (along with Jasper) the very black sheep of the family who is a little less gung ho about this diet than the rest of them. It's cool not killing people, she guesses?

Bella finds herself first drawn to Edward in Biology but then meets his hot older sister (red hair, it's the role Victoria gets) and finds herself drawn to the mysterious black sheep of the family.

("I ate so many people with my coven that we started the witch hunting epidemic" - Victoria)

Things get extra spicy when Edward dumps Bella.

Awful AUs No One Should Ever Write

Bella's a Barista and Victoria's a customer with an awful boyfriend

It's Little Shop of Horrors and James is a plant Victoria keeps in her flat and Bella her clumsy coworker dating a questionable dentist

Victoria's a bride of Dracula (James) and Bella is a sad sad virgin sacrifice given to James to be another bride.

They're all human in high school. Edward's in orchestra, Bella's the shy wallflower who thinks he's so intellectual, Victoria is a punk delinquent with a shitty boyfriend. Aro's the principal. He's constantly accused of tyranny.

They're all working in the same company as humans. Bella doesn't know how the Xerox machine works.

Bella's a vampire now and Victoria's the human!

It's a mafia movie now. No, there's no vampires, it's just a mafia movie.

Victoria's a rock star with a secret identity and Bella's her biggest fan! There's a subplot where Bella dates Edward who is the band's pianist and Victoria hates her life.

#twilight #twilight renaissance #bella swan #victoria #bella/victoria #prompts #writing

[italeean]

*quietly opening the door*

Hi... I'm back 😅 I swear, this month flew by without me realizing! Anyway, tomorrow I'll post the next match-up for the event and I'll try to go back to posting regularly.

For my life updates, I'll put them under the cut ^_^✨️

First, I celebrated my birthday with another group of friends. I took them to the movies to watch Oppenheimer and they gave me three books. Rashōmon and Other Tales by Ryūnosuke Akutagawa, Ghost Tower by Ranpo Edogawa and Bullet Train by Kōtarō Isaka. My mom and dad also bought me 25 small books about Japan's history, culture and traditions 😸😻

Then I had a sleepover with my sister and we exchanged our birthday gifts, then we went to the fair for the Sea Festival and watched the fireworks from the harbor ✨️

Then, on September 5th, I got the best news of my whole life. I GOT INTO MED UNIVERSITYYY 🥹😭 At first, I had gotten accepted in another town, but after a couple of updates of the ranking, I got accepted into my hometown, which was my 1st city of choice!! After 2 years of sacrifices, I achieved my dream... classes start on October 2nd, and I still gotta understand that it's all true 🥹😅

Then I also hung out with my friend groups, went to a few parties, did all the paperwork to enrol into med university, bought a new university bag, etc... and before I knew it, it was September 29th 😅

So yeah... this is a short resume of what happened hehe 🙃 If you actually read all of this, you're getting a kiss on the forehead ❤️

Mwah~

A domani 💚🤍❤️ (See you tomorrow)

#parliamo un po' (let's talk a bit) #coming soon

[callmewisteria]

Black Butler Headcanons I Came Up With At 3:30AM

i’ve been working on papers for university, and Black Butler has inspired me a lot lately. so, this is the product of my writing/working on a great amount of Black Butler fanfiction alongside my Fairy Tail and Once Upon A Time fanfictions.

Grelle was born to a wealthy family in her human life, and enjoyed the theatre, and specifically the opera, so much that she joined an opera company. However, she could never get any of the more lead female roles she wanted as she was only ever recognised as a man due to being born male. When she was cast as Romeo in an operatic production of Romeo And Juliet, she actually committed suicide on the last night of the production. This is how she became a reaper.

Ciel enjoys watching butterflys, and had wanted to have a butterfly green house when he was a little kid. His parents, Rachel and Vincent, had planned to have this done for his thirteenth birthday, but they died before this could be achieved.

Undertaker begged Sebastian to tell him jokes every day for two years after the first time he did when he, Ciel, Madame Red, and Grelle came to ask him about the Jack The Ripper murders.

Sebastian enjoys getting his hair professionally done. When Ciel allows him free time, one of the things he likes to do is find a stylist to do his hair. This is because he enjoys the scalp massages, as well as the fact that he can get it done whenever he likes, since he can regrow his hair whenever he wants to.

Ciel learnt to oil paint before the death of his parents. Rachel had begun to teach him when he was around three years old. He enjoyed it so much that he became incredibly good at it, though he did not do it after the death of his parents, because he could only think of them when he tried. He ended up snapping his brushes, and had the few of his paintings that survived be hidden after his parents died because he could not bear to look at them anymore.

Shortly before her death, Rachel found some of the written but never sent love letters her sister, Angelina, had for Vincent. Ann was out of town for a few days to visit a patient in the country, and had asked Rachel and Vincent to look over her home. Ciel was with them, but had gone to sleep because it was late. When she had asked Vincent if he had known her sister was in love with him, he said yes, and showed her one of Ann’s letters to him, which had ended with “you consume my waking days, and I will always be happy so long as you are in my life.”

When Ann found out she had miscarried after the carriage accident that killed her husband and nearly killed her, she had been six months pregnant, and demanded to see her dead baby. She broke down upon finally being permitted to, learning she had been pregnant with twin girls. She buried them with their father, and only allowed Rachel and Vincent to attend the funeral.

Grelle had been a knife enthusiast when she was a child, and had been almost giddy when she had learnt she would have a death scythe as a reaper. She just about fainted from excitement when she learnt she was allowed to customise it however she wanted. Her first design was for it to have whirring knives everywhere, but one of them flew off and hit another reaper in the face. She decided on the chainsaw design after being told she could not include knives on her death scythe.

Ciel found out he was allergic to cats after he tried to carry one home to the manor. All was well until the cat got spooked and scratched him up in the face. Angelina, who was visiting at the time, had to help fix him up, amongst the chaos of the frantic Rachel and Vincent.

Grelle had never been able to fall in love until she met Ann. Her biggest fear had been that Ann would reject her once she learnt that Grelle had been born male. However, Ann was the first person to accept Grelle as a woman, and her (secret) girlfriend. Even though Grelle killed her, because they both confessed their love for each other as she died, the last thing she remembered was being with her love. Grelle struggled to feel such passionate and unwavering love afterwards, wondering if something were wrong with her.

Ann and Grelle both knew that, if caught, there was a chance Ann would be handed over to the authorities, and subsequently executed for their crimes. When Ann couldn’t bring herself to kill Ciel, it was an act of suicide, and so, when Grelle lashed out and killed her, Ann committed suicide. She wandered aimlessly and frightened for years as a reaper, discombobulated, and frightened by whatever awaited her on the outside whenever she had to reap. After several years, however, she and Grelle were reunited by chance, and were able to rekindle their romance.

Sebastian’s distaste for Grelle stemmed not only for her being a reaper and the crimes she committed with Ann, but from her overly theatrical personality. He was not shocked, but disappointed, when he eventually learnt that Grelle had been a part of the opera in her human life.

Ciel despises all holidays, and becomes infuriated when anyone, even the queen, brings them up in his presence.

Sebastian once fell through the ceiling after an accident with the other servants of the Phantomhive manor. Ciel laughed, not particularly annoyed by the disturbance because of how absolutely ridiculous Sebastian looked in the process of getting back up while the other servants panicked.

Ciel had a replica of his favourite childhood toy made after his return to the manor. While secretive about it, he holds it tightly to his chest every night when he goes to sleep. For Ciel’s sake, Sebastian pretends to be completely unaware of this.

Sebastian has a very low tolerance for spice, and gets annoyed whenever it becomes apparent to anyone else. Ciel is greatly amused by this.

Grelle secretly attended Ann’s funeral, and, in a moment where she was able to be alone with her, laid in her coffin with her. She hugged her, and took a short nap beside her one last time. When she woke up upon hearing people coming, she kissed Ann one last time before disappearing to, distractedly, carry out her work for the day as a reaper.

William made the mistake of trying to bribe Grelle by temporarily stealing the coat she took from Ann after killing her. Grelle went absolutely berserk, and William never brought up the subject of what happened that night, or Grelle’s obsession with the coat again.

Grelle took Ann’s coat because she could not bear to go through her life as a reaper without something of the woman who taught her how to love fully, and fearlessly.

Vincent always enjoyed doing his wife’s hair, and Rachel indulged him though he was not particularly good at it. He knew it, but kept doing it anyways when he realised it always made Ciel smile and laugh.

After becoming a reaper, Grelle taught herself all of the instruments she wished she could have learnt while in her human life, including the violin, guitar, piano, and harp. Though few people knew about it, one of Ann’s favourite things was watching and listening to Grelle sing and play her instruments.

Ciel had always loved poetry from the day he learnt to read when he was around three years old. After the death of his parents, he grew quite attached to the work of Edgar Allan Poe, and always carries a copy of his three favourite poems in his pockets.

Sebastian secretly keeps a small army of cats in the basement of the Phantomhive manor, sneaking off to play with and care for them every chance he gets. Ciel is completely unaware of this because of how meticulous Sebastian is about hiding it.

Rachel once punched a man in the streets before hitting him with her parasol for attempting to kidnap Ciel for ransom when he was about seven. No one in London ever tried to mess with her again.

Rachel had longed to be a ballerina as a child, and, though she was never able to perform as part of a company, Vincent learnt to dance Swan Lake with her, and they would do it themselves every so often when they were alone because he adored how happy it made her.

Grelle likes throwing axes. Not at people, just trees and inanimate objects. All of the other reapers find this particular hobby of hers to be rather bizarre, but don’t question it out of the slight fear that she will start throwing axes randomly at them, seemingly out of nowhere.

Grelle takes halloween almost too seriously. Ciel is quickly exasperated by it, and Sebastian often finds it to be somewhat frightening.

Undertaker once brought a coffin to the Phantomhive Manor with Grelle inside as a prank. Grelle nearly scared the living daylights out of Ciel and Sebastian, and informed Sebastian that it was his ride to the next world, and it had a hole in the bottom if he weren't quite ready to go. Sebastian then told Grelle he was grateful that he would never see her in hell.

Undertaker is obsessed with drinking copious amounts of lemonade. No one knows why, and everyone is too afraid to ask.

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #black butler fandom #kuroshitsuji fandom #kuroshitsuji headcanons #black butler headcanons #ciel phantomhive #rachel phantomhive #vincent phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #madame red #angelina dalles #angelina durless #grelle sutcliffe #grell sutcliff #grelle sutcliff #madame red x grelle sutcliff #grelle x madame red #madame red x grell for life #william t spears #kuroshitpost #black butler ships #black butler grell #black butler madam red #black butler ciel #black butler sebastian #anime headcanons #undertaker black butler #manga headcanons

[limnsaber]

Mandalorian Slash Fic Rec List - Volume IV: ArmorKatan, DinCobb, BobaDin, Others

What it says in the title! 💜 means a personal favorite of mine. Volumes I, II, and III can be found at the associated links, as well as Mando Gen Volumes I, II and III. Give your love to our beloved authors, and please enjoy! -Limn <3

Bo-Katan/The Armorer

your hands in the heat by noraelle (Bo-Katan Kryze/The Armorer, Missing Scene, Gen, 2.5k)

Bo let her gaze drift across the surreal mix of Mandalorians sprawled out in front of her on deck before letting it linger on the Armorer, who was still tending to the wounded, changing medpads. The movement of her hands was quick and skilled, similar to the few times she had seen the other woman forge beskar, telling her this most likely wasn’t the first time she’d been in charge of patching up a group of injured. or: bo has a lot of thoughts, gets teased by koska and the pirates ship turns out to be the perfect backdrop for a heart-to-heart

💜 accidents let the evening in the back door by @swampcowboy (Bo-Katan Kryze/The Armorer, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Teen, 7k)

They might as well put it in the papers: Former Up-and-Coming Political Spitfire Turned Alleged Domestic Terrorist Found Absolutely Fucking Pathetic, Might As Well Be Dead, Aged 36. Because nobody who found themselves plastered at a fringe Mando bar for the third Friday night in a row had anything left to contribute to the world, obviously. (Or, Bo-Katan Kryze finds herself in the depths of a personal crisis at a birthday party for some asshole she doesn't even know. She makes the best of a bad situation. The Armorer helps.)

why don't you close your eyes and reinvent me by @novasforce (Bo-Katan Kryze/The Armorer, Missing Scene, Mature, 1k)

But she keeps her helmet grasped between steady hands, keeps her eyes focused and unblinking, and her head held high. She is Bo-Katan Kryze, and she is none of the weaknesses that had once gotten her sister killed; she is forged from beskar in both body and mind, unshakable and impenetrable. Or: a meeting in the Forge beneath Nevarro

DinCobb

how it feels when we fall, when we fold by @ckerouac (Din Djarin/Cobb Vanth, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Missing Scene, Gen, 11k)

“Well… shit, Mando,” Cobb breathed, resetting the safety on his blaster and holstering it. “This isn’t exactly what I meant when I said I hoped our paths crossed again.” Din gave a humorless chuckle and let his head fall back against the wall. “This isn’t how I saw it going either.” Cobb takes in a grieving Mandalorian, who isn't quite ready to accept he's grieving yet.

They got me and I’ll never give up (But I need you to save me now) by @emmeddt (Din Djarin/Cobb Vanth, Mistaken Identity, POV Cobb Vanth, Fluff and Angst, Explicit, 33k)

“You planning of making a mess in my town?” The answer is immediate, right to the point. “You planning on shooting me?” Cobb decides to play it safe: he doesn’t remove his hand from the blaster. “Not if it can be avoided.” The stranger’s lips break apart in more than one place when he produces another little grin, a sarcastic twitch, but somehow Cobb knows that the smile is not for him: it’s meant for the stranger himself. “Maybe it can’t,” the guy says after a beat. “Maybe it would be better that way.” -- Or: my take on what really happens after Din is forced to say goodbye to Grogu.

BobaDin

think not, the eleventh commandment by qigiined (Din Djarin/Boba Fett, Ensemble Cast, Family Dynamics, Disabled Character, Moby Dick AU, Mature, 18k)

Boba leaves Djarin to his tracking while he takes deep breaths and tries to convince himself that running screaming into the wastes is not how he is going to deal with all this. He needs to think smarter, not harder. The sarlacc is an enormous motherfucking terror dome. It cannot move far, and it cannot possibly move fast. If it moved, it has to be around here somewhere. Someone has to have felt it or seen it. Someone has to know something about sarlaccs. Someone living. Someone dead. (Boba sets out to hunt his white whale.)

💜 still got it by qigiined (Rex/The Armorer, Din Djarin/Boba Fett, Ensemble Cast, Romance, Drama, Teen, 14k)

Bly points out that it’s a good thing that Boba has found a connection with someone who is so orderly and collected. Opposites attract, he says. “Mando only remembers he exists twice a day,” Fives deadpans. “When he speaks,” Cody corrects. “Guys, you don’t know that,” Bly says. “He could be just as smitten. Rex, you dated a Mandalorian once. Tell them.” All eyes land on Rex. He begins to sink into his chair. (Rex dated the Armorer back in the day and finds her again when he meets the guy who Boba is trying to court.)

Rarepair/Multi

oh you little night by qigiined (Din Djarin/Cobb Vanth, Din Djarin/Boba Fett, Ensemble Cast, Misunderstandings, Drama, Romance, Mature, 18k)

Cobb can’t help smiling wryly and wondering if the Mandalorian has been looking for someone to take home who his mama would approve of. He wonders if the Mandalorian’s knees went weak in the face of Boba Fett’s endless list of successful bounties. He wonders if he stammers when he tries to talk to him. It would be cute if so. Cobb’s jaw has been aching for the last two days. (Cobb Vanth is called down to Anchorhead to investigate a case on behalf of a Tatooine historical society. He leaves having just learned that the Mandalorian he's been opening his heart to has been opening his heart to someone else.)

Everything Else by skywalkers (Han Solo/Paz Vizsla, Background Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Ensemble Cast, Mandalorian Religion, Force-Sensitive Paz Vizsla, Teen, 39k)

The Armorer raises her hand. “The Manda appeared before you, for which you are destined. You have toiled under this dishonor, and now the Gods have shown their favor. But these portents show more.” She takes a moment to gather herself; Paz hears it in the air like a hammer. “You will have your glory and name, Paz Vizsla. And you will betray Din Djarin.” - Paz receives a vision from the Gods promising his redemption—and Din's doom. While struggling with his new connection to the Gods, he and Han Solo, a general of the New Republic, are sent to the planet of Corellia to investigate a covert that's gone missing.

#armorkatan #nitearmor #dincobb #bobadin #star wars #star wars fanfiction #fanfiction recommendations #the mandalorian #lim's fic recs #star wars fanfiction recommendations #fic recs

[wickedsrest-rp]

Name: Mahuika Adelaide Thompson Species: Spellcaster Occupation: Receptionist & Maid at Bearcliff Motel Age: 25 Years Old Played By: Emily Face Claim: Courtney Eaton

"Have you ever considered that maybe my perspective might be valuable?"

Vancouver was a beautiful city.

So were the outskirts, which was more where Mahuika spent the first few years of her life. Her family’s coven had formed as a convergence of her mother’s from New Zealand and her father’s from Portland, Oregon. It just so happened that the two of her parents met, fell in love, and some number of years later, had her older sister. Then she came, not two years later. Had her brother five years after that.

The forest was full of light.

Which made it extra perfect to perfect her skills in. She’d taken to mental magic with incredible ease, much to the pride of her family and the rest of her coven. Mental magic was useful, she’d been told for as long as she could remember. You could use it to help those in need, and it connected you to the universe in an untold number of ways. At least, that was what her mother told her – and she was inclined to believe her, because what reason on earth would her mother have to lie?

Her parents were in love. They showed the world nothing but love.

Her family was perfect.

Her siblings were all good and skilled and it meant that she was never alone. Which she liked, even if she didn’t like being the middle child. Though her parents liked to at least attempt to prove that she wasn’t overlooked.

When she was five, the coven had moved to just outside of a small town in Maine – Wicked’s Rest – it was different and she hadn’t wanted to move, but her parents said that it was the best choice for everyone. Something about the energies being right, and Mahuika readily accepted that reasoning.

After all, what reason would her parents have to lie?

She and her siblings were homeschooled, taught magic and science hand in hand, as well as whatever else it was that people were learning in schools not meant for spellcasters. It was easier on the coven if all of the children just learned at home. It meant there was less to worry about, and that the adults could put more time into training the children in their craft.

According to her parents, Mahuika had been a natural at mental magic from the first time she ever tried. She’d helped control one of the adults to acknowledge their love for another one of the coven, and she’d been able to cast illusions from the time she was only six. They were always little ones, but that didn’t matter: it was her birthright, having this magic. 

It was her coven’s job to help.

To help each other, but also to help those around them. Those in town, and without letting anyone know. Because true altruism meant not getting credit, meant doing things for others simply because you could. Because they’d been given extra powers, and that meant helping others more than themselves.

It made sense, at first. It made sense until Mahuika turned fourteen.

She’d been taught that what she did made her safe, and so maybe she’d gotten occasionally lax. Never to an excessive level, but still. She had been an occasionally distractible child and she’d grown into an occasionally distractible teenager.

One day, she’d gone out with a couple friends from her coven to go skinny dipping. It wasn’t anything uncommon, especially in the summer. It was a way to connect with nature, or something (Mahuika figured it was also an excuse to get away from the adults in the coven). One of the older girls – though older was relative — she was only just eighteen — had come out of the water, wrapped herself in a dress, and called out that she was going to go and get them all popsicles, potato chips, and other homemade snacks.

Except she never got to, because Mahuika saw someone grab her, pull her away and she kicked and screamed for help. The stranger wasn’t someone from their coven, wasn’t someone Mahuika had ever seen before. There was no way they were magic.

She didn’t do anything, she just watched her go. Watched her go even though she had the ability to control whoever’d grabbed her. But instead she stayed afloat in the water, mouth agape, eyes wide. 

She hadn’t done anything, and she ran back to where her coven was staying, the other friend trailing behind (they couldn’t have done anything, they didn’t do mental magic. They were something more elemental.) So it was all on Mahuika. 

It was her fault, and it was just proof that those outside of the coven were lesser than those inside of it.

Her coven was supposed to help those outside of it, but her parents had lied about that. All the adults had.

Mahuika felt a deep, deep sense of distrust, and as she lay in bed that night, she made a promise to herself. She’d be the best at her branch of magic that anybody had ever been. That way she’d make sure idiots like the one who’d grabbed her friend never did anything like that again. That way, she’d be in control. That way, she’d be strong. That way, she’d be remarkable, and nothing short of it.

So she worked at it, for years, dove headfirst, spent her days and nights practicing.

Except, in order to truly perfect all that she was, Mahuika knew that she couldn’t stay with her coven forever, and the tiny little town nearby seemed just as good a place as any to get her start. She went there for college, first, if nothing else, just to save face. Physics was an easy major, and sure, she’d managed to get a few A’s with her particular skill set that had nothing to do with academics, but what was the harm in that?

She liked how it felt. How safe she felt with all of that.

It was right, and it was gray, and it was beautiful.

Character Facts:

Personality: Self-important, generous, deceptive, enigmatic, personable, bitter, jealous, calm, self-assured, intelligent

She is fluent in a few languages and has significant knowledge of a smattering of other ones. It’s important for her craft, and she also just likes knowing things. Not all of the languages are fully “useful” in Mahuika’s daily life, but she enjoys them nonetheless.

Mahuika is actually extremely terrified of drowning, though she won’t admit that. She doesn’t like how out of control the water can be. Again, chances of her admitting that? Slim to none.

She writes letters to her siblings in a notebook that she keeps under her mattress. There’s a lot of anger in those notes, but also a great deal of love and sadness.

Has a few tattoos – on her wrist, ribcage, and upper arm, to name a few. They are mostly meaningful, except for one of a duck with a small hat. That one was Just Because.

Mahuika has a deep passion for physics.

#courtney eaton #retired

[starberriesworld]

Lovers in Wasteland

Chaeryeong x Fem reader | Outbreak Au

pairing-lee chaeryoung x fem reader story word count-1381 proof read?-idk bro lmao

my little Last of Us inspired chae x fem reader idea that I finally got au of my head onto paper...or screen. I feel like this is a little corny and wndewhelming/rushed towards the end but I think it turned out okay.

i want to do a couple more chaeryoung x reader in this universe I really like this idea lol. anyways, onto the story!

Life wasn't easy after outbreak day. People died. A lot of people. They were either killed by the infected or became infected themselves. It was chaos, but people came to terms with the way the world was now. People banded together to form thriving communities; they came together to survive.

A few communities worked much like small towns from the old days-there were generators for power, houses were fixed up so occupants could live within them,  greenhouses homed crops, there were playgrounds and even stables for horses. You found yourself in one of these communities at the age of 14, being saved from an infected while a team from said community was out on patrol.

You had lost your older sister and mom. You barricaded yourself in a house after your sister told you to run-so you did. You were exhausted by the time the patrol team came, face soaked in tears and clothes caked in  blood from the infected and dirt; your body was drenched in sweat as you struggled to hold the bedroom door closed against the monster. Just as you were giving up, ready to accept your fate, the sound of a rifle being fired rang through the air.

They took you back to their group, a flourishing community they called Serenity. There were kids running around, and people walking about, chatting about their day. There were a bunch of houses of all shapes and sizes-there was even a bar and a bookstore (though, it operated more like a library since there was no real use for money anymore) And at this very bookstore is where you met Chaeryeong.

By the time two weeks had passed, you had adjusted very well to life in Serenity. You missed your mom and sister dearly, but you knew that the chances of seeing them alive ever again was slim-you just had to hope they would pop up in Serenity one day.  Everyone knew that Y/n was the girl who holed herself up in the bookstore on the f/c beanbag in a corner.

Well, at least you thought everyone knew.

One particular day, you went to go pick up the book you left on hold called "The Friskative Dog." Looking forward to finishing it today, you strolled over to your sacred beanbag, but you froze when you saw a red-haired girl around your age nestled comfortably within it. She was reading a book of her own.

You were conflicted. You didn't know what to say. You didnt want to be mean and make her get up, but you didn't want to share it either. You clutched your book at your side,  a pit growing in your stomach as nervousness washed over you. You were about to just leave and come back another day when she spoke to you.

"Oh, did you want to sit here?" she asked sweetly, her dark eyes looking up at you. You shook your head frantically, feeling your book slip from your sweaty hands.

"N-no, I'll just go sit somewhere else!" And scurried away without another word.

It was the same thing for the next couple of days, she would be sitting in your beanbag, and you would just leave. It went on like that until she stopped you from leaving.

She invited you to sit with her in that spot, pulling up another bean bag and giving you yours back. 

And that's how you became acquainted and eventually, friends.

It was on a patrol where she confessed her feelings for you. Once people in the community turned 18, they had the option to become scouts. You and Chae joined the more experienced scouts on supervised patrols, and eventually they began to trust you guys to head out by yourselves. On one particular summer patrol, you and her were tasked with clearing out a couple of buildings that were about a half an hour horse ride away from Serenity. Some infected snuck up on her, knocking her over. You shot it in its head just in the nick of time, and with a round face splattered in inhuman blood, she looks up at you and blurts out: “Oh my god I love you.”

And here we are in the present day, the two of you sharing a horse  (whom you named Sucrose) as she silently trekked on a path through a lush woodland. You held the reins as Chae leaned against you back, arms wrapped loosely around your waist.

“Y/n~ It’s hot out here,” She whined as she wiped her sweaty face on your t-shirt. 

“I know. Whining about it isn’t gonna cool you down, though.” She groaned, unfastening the canteen on her waist, throwing her head back to take a hearty sip. She then screwed the cap back on and pulled a map of the local from her pocket. “Let’s see…” 

“Do you think we’re getting closer to that flower farm?” You asked her as she squinted at the paper in her hands. 

“Maybe? According to Daniel’s map we should be on the right path…We did walk past that tipped over statue half an hour ago.”

The two of you were on a well deserved vacation from Serenity, Daniel (an older guy who’s a self proclaimed adventurer who's apparently been all over) having given you a couple maps and suggested you visit a large field of wildflowers for your guy’s trip, giving you guys a couple marked up maps to help guide you a little. Sucrose snorted, and you patted her silky brown coat. 

“Uh oh.” You pulled back, causing the horse to stop as you came upon a crossroad.  “Here, turn this way.” Chaeryoung, slightly taller than you, placed her wrists atop of yours and guided the reins to the right.

“I can drive the horse myself,” you say, feeling your body warm up at her touch.

“Drive?” She chuckled as Sucrose trotted down the dirt path that veered right. Moments later, your mount emerged from the woods, stepping out into a rainbow colored field of flowers. 

“Woah…” You both said in unison as you led Sucrose through the field. Butterflies fluttered around each other here and there, and a few birds rose from the ground your horse walked on.

“This is so pretty,” She said as gripped your shoulder to bend down and run her hand through the tall grass and flowers.

“Look, we can set up at that little house over there,” you said, pointing at a beat up abandoned cottage a short distance away.

After securing the perimeter, your and your girlfriend settle down comfortably in the cottage. 

“This place seems like its out of a fairy tale,” she says as she sits criss-cross (applesauce) on the patio outside across from you, opening up a sandwich you guys packed for the trip while you drank some water. Sucrose grazed on some flowers a short distance away.

“I know, glad we listened to Daniel…for once.” You both chuckled as you ate and drank. She took some time to admire you. You were leaned back on your arm as you drank. Your shirt hugged your body thanks to the sweat from being outside in the heat for a few hours. Her eyes lingered on your lips, wrapped around the canteen of water as you drank. When you threw your head back up, catching her gaze, you smirked.

“See something you like?” Her eyes roamed your body bashfully before she tucked a few strands of red hair behind her ear. 

“Maybe I do.” She crawled up to you, as you were still leaning back on your arm until both her arms straddled you. She pushed forward, turning her head towards the side as she pressed her warm lips onto yours. Slowly, she eased you onto your back, prompting you to run your fingers through her red hair. 

“Mm,” you breathed as she eased your head onto the patio, using her hand as a cushion. Her other hand cupping your cheek and brushing her thumb over the side of your face.

“Chae~”

“Hm?” She pulled back, catching her breath and resting her forehead onto yours. 

“I love you, a lot.” She smiles, kissing you once more. Looking you in the eyes, she says:

“I love you to the ends of the earth.”

#itzy #itzy x reader #itzy x you #reader insert #kpop x reader #x black reader #chaeryeong #chaeryoung x reader #chaeryoung x black reader #x female reader #female y/n #itzy x fem reader #au #apocalyse au #fanfiction #lovers in wasteland #itzy x black reader

[monsterrae1]

Buddie Fanfics Masterpost

One shots:

You're not my home land anymore (so who am I defending now)

5.5k | Read on AO3

Buck thought that he and Eddie were in the same page, when Eddie starts dating Ana its very clear that they werent, so whos gonna mend Buck's broken heart?

Always taste like you

2.4k | Read on AO3

(A story about Buck and Eddie’s relationship, or lack thereof, told by Eddie)

Eddie still didn’t understand what it was that he had with Buck. Eddie and Buck start sleeping together, but they dont talk about it, Eddie wants more, Buck apparently is happy with how things are, how long can Eddie go like this?

Tis the damn season

5.2k | Read on AO3

Evan and Eddie met one night and fall into bed, for the next four years they keep coming back to each other. Would they be able to keep each other?

Eddie Diaz discovers the secrets of the universe

3.9k | Read on AO3

After leaving the 118 Eddie has too much time on his hands and comes across a book that would change his life. He finds himself dealing with all his past repression and trauma, coming the other side better, happier.

You weren't mine to lose

4.3k | Read on AO3

There's a Gallery in New York with objects from failed relationships and people that've left, it's called the "Broken Hearts Gallery" and when they open an exhibition Buck runs into a very familiar item that brings on a lot of realizations and new light on his relationship with Eddie, who he hasn't spoken to in weeks. Eddie on the other hand is trying very hard to accept that Buck's happy with someone else and move on, when he goes back to the gallery and find and item that changes it all. Could their broken hearts be mended?

Hear full of grief

1.6k | Read on AO3

Eddie's having a rough day, in a awful month, during a shitty year. Naturally he falls apart, somehow it gets worse before it gets better.

You were the only safe heaven I’ve known

12.6k | Read on AO3

Buck ran away from his pack after his parents told him they had arranged a mating for him. Years later he's finally settled and ready to take that last step with his real mate, and best friend, Eddie, when his parents show up in town demanding he honor the mating they had arranged for him, and Buck is not letting go of his happiness so easily, he's ready to fight for his happy ending.

Bound to you

4.1K | Read on AO3

At 12 years old, Eddie does a ritual to show him the person he's gonna spend the rest of his life with. At 29 he meets Evan Buckley.

*

“Alright then, I have one, it’s not an urban legend, it’s a ritual, and if goes well, you’re supposed to see the person who you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with” They all smiled excitedly at him, turning all their attention to Eddie “I heard it from our cousin”

“Which one?” Sophia interrupted.

“Marina” Eddie answered and Sophia nodded in approval “She was telling it to Andrea, and I managed to hear the entire thing”

Multichapter:

Don't let go now (somebody is lying)

44.2k | 8/8 | Read on AO3

One missundertanding let Buck's mother to belive that Eddie was his boyfriend, and Buck foolishly didn't correct her, thinking it wasn't hurting any one. When the buckleys announce they're coming for a visit Buck has to ask Eddie to pretend to date him while they're there, if Buck is hiding the fact that he's in love with his best friend that's his business. It's only for two weeks, right?

The 118 Protection Program

28.4k | 3/3 | Read on AO3

King Evan Buckley III is ready to rule his country, after finishing his preparation and coming of age he is ready for his coronation, only for it to be interrupted by General Kendall who's been after their kingdom for years. His sister has arranged a plan B for him to be safe, even if it means leaving her behind and be placed in the care of one Eddie Diaz and his team. * Or another story about King Evan falling in love with his protector Eddie Diaz, and Eddie falling in love with his charge.

Till now i always got by on my own (i never really cared until I met you)

101.8k | 19/23 | Read on AO3

After Abby packed her bags and left, Buck felt suffocated by LA and the reminders of her, so he throws himself into his work until Bobby makes him take some vacation time, Buck ends up taking a small roadtrip from Texas to LA, until his jeep breaks down in El Paso and he finds himself pulled to his mechanic and his adorable son, and somehow finds himself staying in Texas trying to help them get a surgery for Chris, when other options don´t work, Buck decides to ask Eddie to marry him so he can use his insurance. Sure things can´t get too complicated right?

Tumblr Prompts dump

16k | 19/? | Read on AO3

Collection of prompts ive answered on my tumblr, figured they could be accesible in one place.

Series:

The Love affair

Complete | Works 2

Just between us (did the love affair maim you too?)

16.4k | Read on AO3

Evan met Eddie during the summer of 2012 while they were both drifting through their lives, finding a safe place in the other, until Eddie unexpectedly walked out of Evan's life, leaving him heartbroken and disbelieveing in love. In 2018 Buck meets Eddie again, and as much as he tried not to, he falls in love with him again. Too bad Eddie moved on with his life. Or did he? (Also known as the summer fling/Exes to lovers fic, Buck's version)

What we had (sad, beautiful, tragic, love affair)

20.7k | Read on AO3

Eddie met Evan during a summer in 2012 while they were both trying to find their place in the world, and fell completely in love, but when has Eddie ever gotten to keep what we wants? After leaving Evan behind without word, he spend 7 years trying to get over him without succeeding. In 2018, Evan walks back into his life, leading to Eddie to fall in love with him again, even with the mountain of guilt and mistakes he's made in the past, too bad the universe doesn't grand second chances. Or does it? (also known as the summer fling/exes to lovers fic, Eddie's version)

Cordolia Verse (bakery AU)

On going series | Works 7

Be still my foolish heart

14.7 | 8/8 | Read on AO3

Eddie Diaz moves into his Abuela's small town, Cordolia, after she breaks her hip and needs help running the family bakery, it something he always wanted to do and now he finally has the chance to go back into the path the thought he'd follow when he was a kid. He just wasn't counting on falling in love with Evan Buck Buckley, the cute barista at the 118 café, given his track record with relationships he tries to court Buck with the one thing he's sure he can't screw up: baked goods.

State of Grace

2.9 k | Read on AO3

Buck and Eddie have been dating for a few weeks when they finally have sex for the first time.

I don't wanna wait my whole through (to say i'm in love with you)

1k | Read on AO3

They've been dating for three months when Eddie tells Buck he loves him.

I will hold you in my arms (right where you belong)

1.4k | Read on AO3

Eddie is an excellent baker, he's not the best cook, after almost giving Buck food poisoning one time, Buck decided to teach him how to cook.

You're gonna be alright kid

1.7k | Read on AO3

It's Buck's first big accident now that he's a firefighter, Eddie's freaking out a little.

I sing songs about the past

6.9k | 2/2 | Read on AO3

After his injury Buck moves in with his boyfriend, Eddie; his sister shows up back on his life and Buck's learning to trust that he get's to keep the happiness he has. What could go wrong?

This is Halloween (Halloween! Halloween!)

3.7 | Read on AO3

Buck think Eddie's bakery is haunted, Eddie's sure it's not.

*

“We have about 10 minutes, wanna make out?” Eddie told him, trying to get him to relax, his shoulders were tense and this was supposed to be the one night of the week where they both could relax.

“What if the ghost gets angry?” Buck asked seriously.

“I think I’d known if I was working in a haunted bakery for over two year”

“It could be a new ghost”

#my writing #buddie #buddie fic #Monsterrae's master post #i've been meaning to make one for a few weeks now and had some tme so here it is #long post #very long ass post #apologies

[professional-termite]

🖊️

alr last ask, lets choose a random one...

tyler brandon dakota. my baby. hes a supporting character but he is literally everything to me. hes trans, hes a vampire, hes a pyromaniac, hes autistic, hes socially awkward, hes gay, he wears silly purple goggles and he has curly hair, hes biracial, hes in love with his married gay best friend who happens to be a robot with memory loss.

tyler is a triplet. his siblings, north and south (yes their names are north and south dakota. no i will not elaborate on why) and himself were raised to be bloodthirsty vampires. despite what you may think, he was actually born and raised in south carolina.

tyler experiences injustice on two counts throughout his childhood: vampires are widely discriminated against, and he lives in a small town in the south in the 1980's, so he's had negative experiences related to race. his parents gave up trying to integrate their children into regular society and convinced their children to become serial killers, like vampires are inclined to be, and so the infamous Dakota Triplets became a household name.

tyler, north, and south were wanted for arson, murder, breaking and entering, kidnapping, and vampiricy (a crime in and of itself). however, as the years went by, tyler found himself uncomfortable in his own skin (gender dysphoria oooooh scary!!!). he cut his hair and started speaking in a lower voice, which the press noted and commented on. tyler was used as a figurehead to the idea that queer people were villains (which was largely accepted by some people *cough cough american republicans*, but widely rejected on an international scale).

NOVASPACOZ v0.1, the robot who would become tyler's best friend, took a particular interest in him. he managed to recruit tyler to the msc, leading to what was known as the vanishing of tyler dakota (the press speculated that he had been hate crimed or discreetly captured by the fbi. the fbi thought he had walked into sunlight without sunscreen, yes vampires can walk in sunlight if they just wear sunscreen in this universe)

keep in mind, up to this point, tyler was still a trans egg. when you're brought into the multiversal simulation corporation, you become your true self. so as soon as NOVA brought tyler into the msc, he got the most gender-affirming appearance he could've hoped for. and he was confused as hell. but also happy. and he changed his middle name to be brandon (his birth name was tyler brianna dakota)

after training in the msc for years, tyler became extremely close with NOVA and another character named marvin faye, but developed somewhat of a rivalry with NOVA's boyfriend, ohio. this continued as tyler became one of the fastest risers of the ranks that the msc had ever seen. tyler was exceptional at creating chaos, and this just made ohio hate him more.

eventually, tyler became the second-highest rank in the msc, only the head of the department outranking him. at one point, he got his siblings brought into the msc as apprentices, his sister north in the creation department and his brother south in the chaos department. now he's just waiting for the department head's apprentice to graduate so that she will retire, and then he will be in charge of an entire department.

anyways yeah, thats tyler. my baby boy. i love him more than i love myself.

[phoenixwrites]

69 for barbgrove lol ;) thanks!

That would be…”Missing You” cover by Tyler Hilton. Shit, we’re gonna get angsty then…

And there's a storm that's raging

Through my frozen heart tonight

I hear your name in certain circles

And it always makes me smile…

I spend my time

Thinking about you

And it's almost driving me wild

And that's my heart that's breaking

Down this long dusty road tonight…

Billy Hargrove never intended on returning to Hawkins.

It was all fucking Max’s fault. She just had to go and get married to Lucas Sinclair. And then she had to invite him to the fucking wedding, offering an olive branch he couldn’t bear to refuse. They were doing better. He was doing better. They saw therapists on the same night, actually, which led to almost friendly phone calls after their respective sessions, reminiscing on what an asshole Neil had been, how they both still had nightmares…

Max had to know he couldn’t come back to Hawkins. Not after what happened with Barb. She had to.

Nevertheless, here he was, on the long road from California, heading to a little town in Indiana, just because he wanted things to be better with his little sister.

He wanted things to be better with Barb, too…

Billy had known all along that their relationship had an expiration date. She was way too smart for him. She got accepted to MIT, the school of her dreams, the university she talked endlessly about. But then…she abruptly told him she changed her mind. She wanted to go to Stanford. In California. With him.

They had gotten into the worst fight about it. A fight that ended their relationship.

He had moved to California. Barb had moved to Massachusetts.

Billy’s fingers tightened on the wheel as he thought about it. He was still angry about it…not at her, never her. But he was furious at himself. He had wanted to take her to California for years. She had lived in Indiana her entire life, never seen the ocean…she wanted to learn how to surf. (He had taught her how to swim) But she had wanted to give up her dream school. For him? How the hell was he supposed to accept that?

Max was getting married over the Christmas holidays. Billy smoked his sixth cigarette as he hit the state-line of Missouri. Seven more hours…Barb might be home for the holidays. Hell, she might even be invited to the wedding…Max had liked Barb the most out of all of his girlfriends and was not shy about telling him how stupid he was to let her go.

Billy lit another cigarette and burned his fingers. Seven more hours…

He didn’t miss her.

He couldn’t. If he did, he would shatter.

#Barb Holland x Bill Hargrove #Barbgrove #Spotify wrapped ficlet challenge

[undeadorion-archive]

I can't believe that in just a month, I finally graduate with an AA (2 year) degree. It only took 5 attempts at 3 separate schools across the span of 20 years.

Problems started even before I enrolled. I wanted to study animation but no schools near me had it. But I also had no idea how to find exactly what each school offered (this was back in 2001/2002 when not everyone had a comprehensive website). One of the schools I applied to even sent me a letter because they were confused why I'd apply for a program they don't have.

I finally settled on Evergreen State College in Olympia to study art. Being my first experience, I didn't realize how craptacular the school itself was. You didn't sign up for a specific program like "fine art" or "graphic design." You instead picked from pre-packaged sets of classes called stuff like "Labyrinths" that had an English class, a drawing class, and a print making class all bundled together.

My mom had promised that if I got accepted to a school she'd help me pay for books (I'd taken a year off after high school and just stayed home). When I finally knew what I'd need, I took the list to her with the final amount and she looked me square in the eye and asked how I was going to pay for it.

That school lasted only a year. After multiple bedbug scares and dealing with the crunchiest hippie types you can imagine, I was done. I switched instead to a local community college. And that was fraught with issues. Evergreen didn't do normal grades. They instead gave you a lengthy review at the end of the term with no concise way to say how well you did. So the community college just told me my credits didn't transfer.

Come spring term, I was so frustrated, I ended up having a breakdown in the advising office because nothing was working out. She made one call and got my grades transferred, it had been a glitch all along. But now I had double credits for art and english, which was...frustrating. So I'd made zero progress with an additional year of debt because of 1 person's mistake at the beginning of the year.

Determined to make it through, I enrolled for fall classes. Then everything went to shit. I injured my knee and missed a bunch of classes. I was living with a grossly abusive older sister at my dad's house who I had to get away from. I was the only one with a car, so she thought it was a good idea for me to get up at 6am, drive her to work, come home, go back to bed, then get up for my classes. She also threw me to the floor when I was injured and laughed at the fact that I couldn't get up.

I ultimately dropped out of school and had to get a full time job. Which led to a very long break from school.

In 2016, I was finally able to return to school. I was going to study set design at a local university. They actually had a program for it! At least, they did when I'd started looking in 2014. But by the time I actually was able to enroll, they'd changed the structure so you could take classes in it but it was now a big vague soup of a theater degree where you made your own path.

Unfortunately, I got hit with a double whammy in the spring of 2017. First, the department was doing away with almost every class having to do with set design. Everyone was pissed, including the teachers. Then the supposed friend I was renting a room from decided he wanted a barely legal twink from California with a vomit fetish to move in so he was kicking me out. By chance, my mom was moving back into town so we found an apartment together and I continued going to school. This was a bad decision.

With set design now out the window and yet another year of school wasted, I shifted my attention to architecture. Because I could still apply it to set design. And I did surprisingly well for a while.

The just before Christmas of 2017 (so about 10 months later), I came home from staying with a friend to find my mom had packed up and moved out. Took everything that wasn't in my bedroom, so took all my dishes and cookware. And an apron I'd sewn for myself. Just left me a note saying there was no other option and left the keys.

You see, I'd begun my gender transition in 2015. She must have assumed it was just a phase, because she burst into tears when my paperwork from the courthouse showed up just before Thanksgiving, finalizing my name change. She kept crying and saying she was "mourning the loss of her baby."

Yet again, I had to drop out of school and find a real job. That lasted about a year and I was MISERABLE. I moved back in with my dad, finally. Older sister had moved across the state years before, so I was safe. I enrolled back in the community college from my first go-round, but that barely lasted a term. I tried graphic design and I was bored out of my skull. I ended up getting a job, instead. That was the spring of 2019.

Then 2020 happened.

With so much time at home now, I rediscovered a passion for web design. Something I'd been doing off and on since the 90s. I did some poking around and found that same community college had a program for it. So when my unemployment was running dry, I applied. I started in the fall of 2021.

There were a couple points where I almost dropped out. Some classes and teachers that were so terrible I wondered if it was all worth it. But thanks to one very specific teacher, I kept going. I found I had an aptitude for the actual programming aspects as well as the design parts. He encouraged me to take Harvard's online classes for computer science and web design. And I did surprisingly well in those.

And now, finally. I'm in my last term of classes and excelling. I'm getting paid to tutor students in the classes I've already taken, even. I'm graduating with honors. Something I wouldn't have been able to do when I first started. I've joined 2 honors societies and been on the president's and the dean's lists.

No matter what bullshit life throws at you, the trick is to keep trying. Even if it takes you 10 times as long as it's supposed to, it will always be worth it when you get there.