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2centsoframblings · 2 years

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Two cents of ramblings on: “Yōjo Senki - The Saga of Tanya the Evil” (‘The Military Chronicles of a Little Girl - The Saga of Tanya the Evil’) (Anime) - Season 1...

...and why I STRONGLY recommend it.

GENERAL DATA

Title: Yōjo Senki - The Saga of Tanya the Evil (幼女戦記 The Saga of Tanya the Evil “The Military Chronicles of a Little Girl - The Saga of Tanya the Evil”)

Media: Anime television series

Adaptation of: Yōjo Senki (幼女戦記 “The Military Chronicles of a Little Girl”) Seinen light novel series written by Carlo Zen and illustrated by Shinobu Shinotsuki

Genre: Fantasy, Isekai, Military

Directed by: Uemura Yutaka

Written by: Ihara Kenta

Studio: NUT

Original run: January 6, 2017 – March 31, 2017

Episodes: 12

WARNINGS: Well, it’s a story about a war so of course there’s war and death and also politic and realpolitik. Also there’s a child fighting and killing, as Tanya is pretty young (she takes part to her first battle at 9 and the story moves up to when she’s 11/12). And of course, there are references to religion as Tanya is an atheist in battle with a being defining himself as God.

The plot in short: In a parallel universe, a little girl, Tanya Degurechaff, is a mage fighting in a war for what looks like a parallel WW1 German Empire. But the truth is she’s nothing else but the reincarnation of an atheist salary man, who, one moment before dying, was confronted by an entity which claims to be God and rejected him, labeling him ‘Being X’ and that reincarnation is nothing else but God/Being X’s attempt to force Tanya to finally have faith in him as the salary man said people would have faith only if they were weak and in dire straits. Still Tanya refuses to believe and declares a personal war to ‘Being X’, doing all she can to survive as, if she were to die this time, there would be no reincarnation.

HOW DID I STUMBLE INTO IT

I saw a rather good AMV “Night Witches” made with “Yōjo senki” footage, and was impressed by how good the animation was so I decided to watch it.

THINGS YOU MIGHT WHAT TO KNOW BEFORE TACKLING THIS

The anime series covers only the first 2 volumes and a half of the light novel series. Things are cut or simplified so to fit them into the new media.

MY TWO CENTS ON IT

THE SHORT VERSION… or what I can tell you about this while trying to keep spoilers at the very bare minimum.

Opening & ending: The anime uses as opening “JINGO JUNGLE” by Myth & Roid and as ending “Los! Los! Los!” by Yūki Aoi, the voice of Tanya Degurechaff. Episode 8 is the only episode who uses as ending “Sensen no Realism” (戦線のリアリズム ‘Realism of the Front’) by Niina Mako. I’ve mixed feelings for “JINGO JUNGLE” and “Los! Los! Los!”, as they’re not quite my type of music but kind of grew on me. Overall I find them fitting for the anime. The visual is the opening is interesting. With colours that reminds me of an old movie, a recurring theme of gears, which remind us of the operation orb but also the machinations of the war and how the men involved in it are nothing but little gears in a mechanism that’s bigger than them. We see scenes of war, soldiers fighting, mourning, the characters wearing their uniforms or with their flags behind, maps of the countries. In short it really delivers well this is a story that involves a lot of war. But I also like how it shows Tanya as a little girl, and then she starts walking and she’s a soldier in uniform, and in front of her there is the Nutcracker that being X posses to talk with Tanya. She shoots it but she doesn’t hit it by some sort of glass and then we’re shown the salary man she was in her previous life and there’s blood covering his image. It’s as if the glass she has broken is kind of a window to the past, showing us that Tanya’s rage against Being X is due to how she died in her past life. The opening also does an interesting thing as, when we’re shown the images of Kurt von Rudersdorf, Hans von Zettour and Erich von Rerugen, their names also appear, which doesn’t happen for any other character, in an interesting remarking of how those three are basically the ones that seem to be in command. Overall, I think it really works well as opening. The ending instead shows a series of images from the visual novel depicting Tanya. It’s nothing special but, as the anime was probably meant to be promotional for the visual novel, it makes sense they would want to show the visual of the novel (especially since the anime uses a different character design for Tanya…). “Sensen no Realism” is rather pretty as a music and the visual is interesting as it clearly represents explosions as pretty firework.

The plot: It’s complicate, intricate and intriguing. I love the history reference and how it talks about politics and military and psychology. Oh, I really enjoyed it!

The characters: Well, most of the focus is on Tanya but the other characters are interesting too and different enough among them. I can’t say I loved them but they’re well constructed and realistic enough.

The visual: The characterization is very interesting. I can’t say the characters are pretty in the usual way (actually I never saw someone with eyes or lips as Tanya) but they’re all very different and well recognizable in a way that’s pretty awesome. The visual for the background sceneries is GODDAMN AWESOME. The skies are beautiful with moving clouds and coloring, the visual from up there is also so great.

There’s this great cure for details that shows in how they can grow grass between bits of concrete… The fights are awesomely drawn and the scenes in which ‘Being X’ appear are also drawn in an interesting manner.

The musical background: This one is an epic one! Katayama Shūji did a really great work. The music well fit the scenes and give them grandiosity and action and an epic feeling. It’s something you can enjoy hearing even if you don’t watch the anime.

Overall: Oh, it’s good, good, good. I love the visual, the history behind this alternate universe, the battles, the strategic plans, the music, everything. It’s a must see, really.

THE LONG VERSION… or what I loved and hated about this with, of course, TONS OF SPOILERS.

Now, visually, this series is beautiful. I love the realism of the war fighting scenes and how they then put it into sharp contrast with how the mages fight with… well, magic, but I also love how the mages in a way depend from technical things, they use rifles with magic shells, they use Operation Orbs or, if you prefer, Computation Jewels that facilitates mages to compose spells, and they’ve tools to fly which vary according to from which country they are.

I love how the colouring has an odd tinge, as if it were an old war movie.

I love how well they animated the action scenes, so dynamic and fluid, I love the detailed and beautifully drawn scenery, how the skies are filled with beautifully drawn clouds, how they can be a beautiful blue but also other colours according to the time and the weather.

No, really, this is visually great.

Sure, it took me a while to get used to the chara design of the characters. It’s not like it’s ugly but it’s… unusual to say the least, with Tanya having some rather creepy expressions.

Still the characters come out as expressive and one gets used to the oddity of it soon enough.

Now… the story.

I enjoyed this alternate version of the world which is similar yet different to ours.

I love the ‘fight’ between God/Being X and Tanya, how she stubbornly refuses to believe and how he stubbornly tries to force her to believe to the point he forces her to pray if she wants her Computation Jewel to work.

I like the idea of having her consider the army as an organization and war as a work, which makes for a very harsh comparison with how Tanya previously worked for a company as a salaryman.

The idea that, in her past life Tanya’s beliefs were that following the rules one could smoothly rise in ranks but then, by the end of the series, she realized being too rational means missing to see that many men are, in fact, irrational and being lead by their emotions.

Erich Rerugen: What reason is there to continue the war? A modern state uses its military to impose its will via violence. Sacrificing the nation itself to continue the fight is madness. Tanya Degurechaff: You are completely correct. Erich Rerugen: Then why do you say that the war will continue? Tanya Degurechaff: If I may be permitted to give my opinion… General Zettour and General Rudersdorf are logical pragmatists, highly skilled in political and military matters. They are great soldiers. As are you, Lieutenant Colonel. Our Strategic HQ is a powerful fortress of logic and knowledge. And therefore, due to logical reasoning, everyone believes the war is at its end. But it must be said that this rationale is incomplete. Erich Rerugen: Incomplete… rationale? Tanya Degurechaff: The members of Strategic HQ are far too rational. And thus, they have completely missed the point. Rationalism isn't the only thing that drives human action. We are foolish creatures… Erich Rerugen: Are you saying that humans are still beasts, lacking in reason?! Tanya Degurechaff: If I may be permitted to speak freely, then that is completely correct. Erich Rerugen: And what evidence do you have for this statement? Tanya Degurechaff: History. Though I mean my own history. My personal experience. Erich Rerugen: Tell me. Tanya Degurechaff: I have seen the eyes of men, burning with hatred. I have seen the moment when my talented men gave in to anger and lost their reason. I have seen a chain of revenge, driven only by hate. And so, I realized… No, perhaps it's more accurate to say that I remembered. I have personally experienced an insane reaction against rationalism. No matter how much we modernize, no matter how social norms affect us, humans are foolish creatures, who sometimes prize feelings over reason. A human being who's overcome with hatred will keep struggling, without regard for self-interest or reason, regardless of what they may lose or gain. That is why I cannot help but speak up. We should not become intoxicated by a temporary victory! All flames of hatred must be extinguished. [Ep 12]

Tanya’s way to deal with this, would be, of course, aggressive. For her, the enemy you let go, will then be the enemy who will take up the gun against you.

Tanya Degurechaff: Second Lieutenant Grantz, the enemy you let go will take up his gun again. To shoot us. If we let them go, some will become new soldiers who hate the Empire. Vooren Grantz: So… You want us to kill them just for that reason?! Tanya Degurechaff: This is the order from our superiors. We shoot the enemy, or they’ll shoot us. If nothing else, we must shoot until we’re told not to anymore. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear what you just said. But I’ll said once more. This is the order from our superiors. Take up your gun. [Ep 8]

In this bit from episode 8 Tanya paints it as them having to do it more because it’s an order than because she wants to, but, by the end of the series, it’s clear she has embraced the idea you’ve to kill your enemies without mercy or they’ll come back to kill you.

I also found interesting this bit from her.

Tanya Degurechaff: In a cursed world, engulfed by flames of war, there was a nation known as the Empire. With its vast military power, talented strategists, and high mobility, it overwhelmed the Dukedom of Dakia, the Entente Alliance, and the Republic. Treats to its safety were removed, one after the next, and everyone was overjoyed. But that is why they could not imagine how much the surrounding countries feared the creation of a massive power in the continent’s center. The Empire went to such lengths to display the sharpness of its sword, it was incapable of imagining the terror that its sword inspired. Of course, everyone wants peace. So, to protect peace, they take up their guns and thrust themselves into battle, hoping to achieve it. So that this cruel war would end, everyone except the Empire wished for the evil enemy called the Empire to be eliminated from the world. Could there be any greater paradox? Ironically, their desire for peace caused the war’s intensification, rather than its end. [Ep 12]

The part that it’s easy to forget watching the story, due to the similarities between the Empire and the German Empire is that, in this universe, it was the Entente Alliance, the Dukedom of Dakia and the Republic who invaded the Empire first. They all crossed borders first, to which the Empire answered by attacking their forces and declaring war. The Empire defended itself and won and, as a result, gained the land of its opponents… and in doing so gained the hate of the opponents it defeated and scared its neighboring countries, pushing them to join forces against it… in some sort of vicious circle in which people paint as ‘evil’ the enemy and themselves as righteous, regardless of the enemy being really ‘evil’ the way we intend it.

At the end we see how Mary considers the Empire evil because it killed her father, but it was her father who was among the soldiers who invaded the Empire and caused the war and who, with his men, attempted to kill Tanya, who was 9 back then and merely in an observer mission when they attacked, he who chased after Tanya when she was retreating once she accomplished her mission only managing on getting stabbed by her and he’s also the one who decided to continue going after her, claiming God told him to bring her down so that he ultimately gets killed by her.

He’s not a poor victim, but a soldier who got obsessed with killing Tanya and ended up killed in return.

And all this makes for interesting food for thoughts about who’s really evil. The Japanese title of the series is just “Yōjo Senki” (幼女戦記 ‘The Military Chronicles of a Little Girl’), but the English one is “The Saga of Tanya the Evil”. Tanya however is not ‘evil’ in the sense she enjoys hurting others. In fact this is her motive for joining the army:

Tanya Degurechaff: In a time when war seemed unavoidable, I’d thought it would be impossible for a poor, powerless girl to survive. But in that world, the power of magic did exist. And during the orphanage’s physical, my magical aptitude was noted. The army always conscripted those with aptitude as mages. And if I were going to be conscripted someday, it made more sense to volunteer, receive officer training, and attempt to get onto a career path. Of course, war is an unproductive and therefore wicked act. And I hated the idea of killing or being killed. But if I could just get on the military’s rails, my future would be assured. [Ep 2]

Tanya is moved by her self-interest, pragmatism and lack of empathy, but doesn’t have the wish to hurt others.

Her enemies often define her ‘evil’ merely because she’s a dangerous enemy and nothing else, same as they define the Empire ‘evil’ because it is the enemy. Tanya is clearly not good, she’s a pragmatist who totally lacks of empathy and cares only about doing her work efficiently and therefore has no mercy for people who gets in the way of it, which feels even more sticking considering she’s in the body of a young girl, to the point Erich Rerugen views her as a monster.

Erich Rerugen: If I may speak freely… She is a monster in the form of a little girl! [Ep 12]

There’s to say though that the other characters, who tries to paint themselves up as more moral, are merely making excuses for themselves to do the same as Tanya does.

They claim they’re fighting evil but they’re merely pursuing their country’s interests or, even worse, revenge. They genuinely pray God (differently from Tanya who’s merely forced to do it) but they pray God in hope he’ll help them kill their enemies, or believe God tells them to kill them.

Anyway, long story short, this one is definitely an anime worth watching so I recommend it.

And now let's end this with an AMV about this series I recommend watching: Night Witches

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#Youjo Senki #Saga of Tanya the Evil #NUT #Fantasy #Isekai #Military #Anime Television Series #Strongly recommended #Seinen #2017

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kimium · 11 months

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For the ask game: 7, 17, 21, 25!

(From this ask HERE)

Thank you so much for this ask, friend! I'm so excited to answer this!

Remember everyone: this is all subjective and just my opinion. You can disagree with me; that's fine.

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?

I cannot stand how fandom views Camilla from Fire Emblem Fates.

Before I get into this however, I want to clarify that I do NOT hate Camilla at all. In fact, I quite like her. With that out of the way, let's get to my thoughts.

Camilla loves her family with all her heart and soul. They're the most important people to Camilla and she'll do anything to protect them. Many of Camilla's fears are rooted in the fear of those she loves leaving her behind. In Birthright and Revelations, Camilla is devastated by Corrin's "defection" and that soul-crushing weight of her fear becoming reality makes me feel so much for Camilla.

This fear is also shown in Camilla's supports with Selena, where she explicitly tells Selena to "not leave her". I'm certain there are other supports.

Yes, I am aware that Camilla in turn to having her fears become reality does suggest or actually act violently, but cut the woman some slack, especially in Birthright where her family is literally being torn apart from the inside out. Also, her country is going to war.

However, I've found that some of fandom has distilled Camilla's personality into my least favourite mature female trope of "Ara, ara you poor thing. Let me hug you to my Very Well Endowed Bosom so fans can fantasize about being pushed up to my chest too. If you try to escape me you're being naughty and need to be punished, tee-hee-hee".

Which, brings me to another point: Camilla is more than just her very well endowed chest. I know the series shoves it into our faces in both Fates and Heroes, but she has more depth than just being there for fanservice.

17. There should be more of this type of fic/art.

Uh, I'm not too sure what to say for this one. In general I like all types of fanart and fanfiction for series. I don't think there is a specific type I want to see in particular.

However, if we want a series I want to see more fanart/fic/attention for I will keep singing my praises for To Your Eternity. It's a fantastic series with such depth to the characters and story telling and I want more to watch and appreciate it.

21. Part of canon you think is overhyped.

Again, not too sure what this question means, so I'm reading it as "a particular part of a series that's overhyped either by the narrative or the fanbase".

-I found Chainsaw Man a bit overhyped for my tastes. Don't get me wrong: I think the art is beautiful, the animation breath-taking, and the character designs fun. That, however, is where my enjoyment of the series sort of fades. I enjoyed the anime and I'm decently caught up in the manga, but the series never hit me emotionally the way other shonen series in the past have. Sorry, everyone. I wish this wasn't the case but I just enjoy it generally.

-Sometimes I think tournament arcs in anime can be overhyped by series. Please do NOT get me wrong. My favourite tournament arc is the Dark Tournament in Yu Yu Hakusho and that series was one of the first pioneers of the trope.

However, over the years some series try to change it up by having an "interruption" to the tournament and sometimes I feel that invalidates the entire build up to the arc in the first place. I also think that allows the writers to chicken out of showing who would actually win.

25. Common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing.

I am so sick of reading about people arguing over ships. Look, people can ship who they want. They're all fictional characters anyways. Even if it's a ship that you REALLY dislike, there is no reason to attach anyone over it. If you don't like a ship and you see someone else like it, ignore them and move on.

#personal #replies #feel free to ask more if you want

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translationandbetrayals · 2 years

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Ousama Ranking and the representation of disability.

Usually, when we look for characters with physical or mental disabilities in anime the surprise is... Disappointing, to say the least.

They are characters that usually cope with their condition in some magical or extraordinary way or are used by the author as tragedies that move the plot, or even in the worst cases, as ornaments to cover quotas or without plot value. To exemplify this, let's look at classic and popular anime characters:

Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist: Rather than a real handicap for him in his daily life, the loss of his arm and leg does not mean a real disability. This since his mechanical prosthetics replace any function his former limbs could do, as well as giving him the obvious advantage of using them in his own alchemy.

Nunnally VI Britannia from Code Geass: Hangyaku no Lelouch: Daughter of Emperor Charles Zi Britannia, she is a blind, paraplegic princess exiled from her own country. With a clearly tragic past after her mother died, she is a kind and good-hearted character despite the tragedies that surround her. What's the problem with this? Her father is the one who has kept her blind all this time, seeking to protect her from one of the series' main antagonists. The aggravation? He can give her back her sight whenever he wants, or rather, whenever the plot needs it, so really, you don't see a true character who goes through all the difficulties of a disabled person in her reality

Let's focus a little bit on Edward. He is the main character of his series, which is quite outstanding to be used as an example of a disabled character. However, he is not really an entirely realistic representation, nor is he expected to be, but we need him to be to make sense of this discussion.

Let's look at other more realistic and popular characters: Shoko Nishimiya from Koe no Katachi. Her portrayal as a hearing-impaired person is really accurate because it directly shows us the social problems that a girl, and later a teenager, must go through, either at school or in the world around her. However, the film does not see her as the main character, of course, no one can deny that without her the film would be meaningless, but really the story and plot do not revolve around her, it revolves around Shouya and that he, in a way, revolves around her.

However, at the end of last year, an anime came out that has as its main character someone with a hearing disability, someone who doesn't overcome it in some magical way and learns to live with it in his fantasy world, the one I'm talking about is Bojji from Ousama Ranking.

Bojji is an extremely kind and tender child. He was born to two adventurous giants who later became the kings of their country, so everyone eagerly expected this first son to become exceptionally strong and big. But no, Bojji is quite the opposite, small, weak, deaf, and dumb. His mother died when he was very young, but he remembers her very fondly and his goal is to fulfill her last wish, to become a king. No, to become the best king.

When you watch the series your first feeling is a pity for this poor deaf and, at first, dumb boy. But soon this turns to helplessness because of the actions of other characters and the feeling of rooting for Bojji with all you might because he is someone who never gives up, even though he lives constantly being ridiculed and minimized by everyone else. The series from my perspective feels like it doesn't tell you to feel sorry or pity for Bojji, but instead leads you to fully trust him, because you know he won't give up until he achieves his goal. Bojji is not miraculously cured at any point. Instead, you see through flashbacks that he learned to take care of himself, he is self-sufficient, perhaps more so than some of us; and if the aids offered do not deprive him of his freedom of action as an independent child, he gladly accepts them.

His disability serves to pity the protagonist, serves as an obstacle to achieving his goal, and serves to make us realize that sometimes, when we want to help someone we consider incapable of functioning on their own, we get the surprise that it is not so, after all, they have lived a whole life without our help.

Fernanda Rojas Molina.

#Anime #Manga #Japan #essay

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kammartinez · 11 months

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By Jordan Michelman

The cows are named Baby and Snowday. Baby is a beautifully mottled brown and white, and Snowday is a solid, milk chocolate brown, her head topped with a tuft of funny cream-colored fur. They both have the most delicate eyelashes, bashful and lush. They are five years old, which is old for a cow in America; these are retired milk cows, once living on a family farm as part of Darigold, a farmers’ cooperative that works with small dairies across the Pacific Northwest. In their twilight years now, they’re at Vorfreude Dairy Beef, a farm off a long, loping little country road in the green foothills outside of Portland, Oregon. It’s owned by small-scale beef purveyor Rachel Hinnen, and today she is “harvesting” these animals—she is preparing them for slaughter. Hinnen is part of “the meat community,” as she calls it. While you can find people pursuing ethical meat production in many corners of the world, the practice has particularly gained traction in this slice of the American Pacific Northwest, where a “conscious carnivorism” movement, which advocates buying hyper-local meat or practicing butchery, has been growing for at least a decade. You might be familiar with Colin the Chicken of Portlandia fame, a skit in which a restaurant server describes to diners the name and life of the chicken on their plate. Or, more recently, a viral Tweet of the fake Uber Eats feature “Meet Your Meat,” in which you can learn that your rib eye was named Janice and enjoyed alfalfa. But the real-life meat community is serious—a more earnest group of true believers you will not find anywhere, with a conviction that borders on semireligious. You should meet your meat, they believe. In fact, to truly eat meat ethically, this means observing every step of the process: birth, life, and death, from the pastures to the butcher shop.

“I’m really glad you’re here for this,” Hinnen tells me as we stand together in the February mist. She wears a no-nonsense work hoodie, slate tights, and muck boots, her long blonde hair tucked beneath a knit beanie. “I think it’s really important to experience this part.”

The sky is warship gray. Rain falls like television static. The mobile slaughter truck is due in one hour, and the field is redolent with the smell of cow shit. Baby and Snowday—named by the family dairy where they previously resided—are not the only bovines on the property. In the pen behind us stand a group of retired Jersey dairy cows, squat and fat and rust-colored, who are marked for slaughter in the coming weeks. In the next pen over three more cows—“my pets,” she says—who go by the names Domino, Lucy, and Oreo.

“I can’t kill the OGs,” she laughs. Domino and Oreo (two classic black-and-whites) have developed the rapscallion habit of hopping fences, which one might think would mark them for the slaughter truck but has instead endeared them to Hinnen, the way a problem child is often a mother’s secret favorite. Lucy (latte brown and cream) is another story entirely. “She accidentally wound up pregnant,” Hinnen tells me, “and I spent three weeks saving her life every day from a series of complications. By the end, I felt like, you know—‘I nearly killed myself trying to save you, so how can I kill you now?’”

Much of the beef we consume in America comes from younger cows, aged between 18 and 24 months old. Most are raised specifically for beef production, the product of generations of selective genetic breeding to increase yield size and fattening speed, aided by a modern cocktail of hormones and antibiotics. Beef from older cows—including dairy cows—has long been commonplace and revered in Europe, particularly in Spain, Austria, and the United Kingdom. But in the United States, dairy cows past their prime are typically blended alongside thousands of other animals a day as part of a general ground meat supply.

Retired dairy beef is highly prized by a small but enthusiastic number of American beef connoisseurs, showing up at specialist butcher shops and on farm-to-table restaurant menus. Some small butchers separately slaughter certain cows like Snowday and Baby so that their meat can be sold and consumed individually, their unique flavors more present like those of a single-origin specialty coffee microlot or a walled clos of hallowed Champagne grapes.

I’m given a bit of busy work feeding Hinnen’s pet cows—a.k.a. the permanent collection—from a plastic pail of compressed hay treats. They lap it up from my hands with their massive prehensile tongues, agile as monkey tails, frothing with saliva and anticipation. (The word vorfreude in German means “joy in anticipation.”)

“A cow never had a better life,” Hinnen tells me, preparing a bundle of sage as a sort of preharvest ritual she conducts on mornings like this one, balancing the herbs carefully atop a fence post. I hand her my lighter—hers is in the truck—and her words grow uneasy. “I hate these days,” she says. “I don’t sleep well. I cry over every single one of these cows, and I fall in love with every single one.”

I ask about the inherent contradiction of this, you know—loving an animal so much throughout its life and then overseeing that being’s death. “I get what you’re saying,” she says—she’s heard this question before—“but truth is, it would be a problem if I didn’t feel that way. It would mean I didn’t care, you know? And the point of all this. The point is to care.”

Smoke billows from the sage, and the smell immediately alters the cows’ demeanor; they become noticeably mellower, even contemplative. Or is that just my projection? My own anxieties?

“Let me send you back over to the Jerseys for a minute,” she tells me. “I want to make a video and I get self-conscious.” Hinnen climbs into the pen, crouches down in the shit and muck, and talks quietly into her phone as the rain falls, the sage scenting the air, the cows posing just beyond her shoulders, framed artfully in the shot. Later, the video appears in Hinnen’s Instagram Stories, an instantaneous update for those who cannot be here to witness their steak being killed.

The origin story of the meat that Americans consume is fundamentally uncomfortable, like that of our clothing or rechargeable batteries. Meat consumption as a narrative is fundamentally informed by death; it’s always there, lurking, like the omnipresent specter in Hitchcock or Shakespeare. The wider conversation about the ethics of consuming meat dates back to Plato, Pythagoras and Epicurus, as well as the Buddha, the Bhagavad Gita, and the concepts of halal and haram in Islam, which, among other rules, consider how an animal is slaughtered before it is eaten. Across cultures and centuries, meat consumption—both our love of it and the questions it raises—is woven into the fabric of who we are, fundamental to a broad panoply of faiths. From the oldest cave paintings of water buffalo hunts to widely varying modern screeds (“Our Moral Duty to Eat Meat” versus “Moral Veganism”), seemingly everyone—and everyone’s ancestors—has a take.

The current ethical meat movement isn’t new either, with organizations like the Ethical Omnivore Movement drawing a sharp line between the consumption of factory-farmed meat and dairy and other, smaller means of arriving by these products. (“There should be no shame in the use of animal-based products—just in the cruel, wasteful, careless, irreverent methods of production,” its website reads.) Guides to ethically eating meat abound, even as we wrestle with the so-called meat paradox, in which animal lovers are still able to enjoy that delicious cut of steak.

What’s novel today is the extremely online-ness of it all. Social media has intertwined with the age-old practice of raising animals for meat in a distinctly modern way; everyone and their mother is quite literally on social today, and America’s family farms, butcher shops, and heirloom meat geeks are no exception.

I found out about Vorfreude Dairy Beef via this great discovery engine of our time. That said, Hinnen’s Instagram account, @vorfreudedairybeef_, is tiny with barely 500 followers. Her business involves direct sales of beef “shares”—typically a quarter of the whole slaughtered cow, sold at $6.85 per pound on the hanging weight—to home chefs, friends, and assorted beef enthusiasts. She also makes candles, soaps, and body butter from beef tallow processed in her own home kitchen and sold at local farmers markets and retail pop-ups, and she’s working on a line of tanned leather wallets, earrings, and belts. Plus, “cow yoga retreats” and “photo sessions.”

Some little kids might circle toy ads in the Sunday paper; Hinnen, age 10 in suburban Oregon, would scout the classifieds section for old cattle ranches, begging her baffled parents for cattle and land. After high school, she deferred college to work on a vast cattle station in rural Australia, and now, at 33, she’s built a small, intimately personal business around raising cows, loving cows, and yes, slaughtering them to produce high-quality grass-fed beef. “Since I was old enough to have dreams,” she says, “I have dreamed about this.”

Others also have. Larger accounts like Big Sky Caroline, Five Marys Farms, and Ballerina Farm have built #ranchlife followings in the thousands, to say nothing of Star Yak Ranch, the yak meat and jerky concern of social media provocateur Jeffree Star. From farmers like Caroline Nelson of Big Sky Caroline entering her “sheep doula era” (assisting in the birth process of a lamb) to a retired Holstein cow “living her best life” (receiving a loving brush down from Hinnen) at Vorfreude, some of this content reflects an aspirational lifestyle, although that is quickly offset with #farmlife realities: long days, early mornings, missed family events, and financial struggles.

The meat community functions around a fundamental moment of tension, in which the animal—named, loved, filmed, the source of countless joys and heartaches and sleepless nights (not to mention shares and likes)—moves along to the Great Ranch in the Sky. In this way it is meaningfully distinct from pet influencers and the myriad animal-obsessed tribute accounts (my favorites are @itsdougthepug and @ekekekkekkek, respectively), but I do think it still relates to the grand infinitesimal why behind how our brains respond to cute animals. Your favorite rancher is now on your social media feed, goofing off with an adorable 1,000-pound cow.

Hinnen estimates around half of her business comes from social media, and she considers it a tool for both sales and culture, a way to sell the bigger picture experience of her product to curious followers who may one day become future customers. “Social media also offers us an opportunity to educate,” says Sean So, the cofounder of Preservation Meat Collective, a company that links tiny ranches and heritage-breed animal farmers across the Pacific Northwest with butcher shops, restaurants, and direct-to-consumer connoisseurs of small-production beef, lamb, fowl, and game. He tells me a rib eye is just two percent of the meat on a cow, a wasteful amount. “The way meat is bought and sold in America is so incredibly broken, and we’re trying to teach people that every day online.” Some days, that’s advocating for unsung cuts, like ranch steak (also known as “arm steak”), and other days it’s educating on the age and life cycle of the animals we consume.

So was born in Cambodia and moved to Bellingham, Washington, as a child. “I’ve been harvesting animals my whole life,” he tells me. His father would buy whole animals from farmers and split them between multiple families. Today So and Preservation cofounder Travis Stanley-Jones work with a network of more than 35 individual farmers, connecting, say, Wagyu beef cattle from Enumclaw, Washington, with restaurants in Seattle, or fresh squab from Benton City, Washington, with a butcher shop in Ballard, a neighborhood in Seattle. The company works with a who’s who of restaurants across Washington State, including more than a dozen places such as Off Alley, Restaurant Homer, Hanoon, and many more. “Our goal is the opposite of greenwashing or hiding behind the gray areas of meat production,” So says. “We’re trying to build a new kind of commodity system that is not commoditized.”

On Instagram, the effect is the opposite of nameless, faceless factory farming. Preservation’s account opens a portal into the world of small-production meat—one day it’ll post about signing a new lamb purveyor that happens to be a fifth-generation family farm, the next day a video of So proudly discussing the 14-hour harvest process for fresh squab. This work follows people raising protein outside of traditional systems and animals apparently living very different lives—longer, with fresh air and clean grass—than the millions of cows, pigs, and sheep slaughtered each day in factory farms. Followers see the whole cycle, from photos of cows in the pasture to the slaughterhouse to dining rooms.

Give modern humans all the knowledge of the universe in the palm of their hands and they’ll use it to talk about shepherds and sheep, ranchers and beef, and how to butcher and cook the finished product. We’ve social networked ourselves back to the very origins of collective agricultural living, using the unthinkable vastness of God in our pockets to become more like our ancient selves. There’s something adorable about that—comforting, even—and something brutal too.

“At the end of the day, the animals need to die,” So tells me. “They need to go to harvest.”

“The waiting is the hardest part,” Hinnen says, joining me by the Jerseys.

“So when it happens,” I ask, making nervous small talk in the rain, “how do they, like…how do they do it?”

“They’ll use their .22s,” she tells me matter-of-factly. A rifle, she explains, to shoot from a distance of 10 yards or so, giving the animal ample space for what comes next. “These guys are pros, and so most of the time it only takes one shot. The most dangerous part is what happens after—the most hurt you’ll get doing this by a dead cow. They’ll kick for 10 minutes sometimes, after they’re done.”

We sit with this information together.

“Once they go down, the whole thing shifts,” she says. “Most people never think a moment in their life about productive death. Death is either a disaster or a murder, but never something deliberate. Intentional death, meaningful death, we almost can’t fathom it, even though we consume it every day. “

Snowday and Baby are watching us now. The “gold standard” is to withhold food from a cow for at least four hours before slaughter, Hinnen tells me, “but I have to give them a last meal. I can’t help it.” Even still, Snowday and Baby are hungry—cows are always hungry—and they’re busily snuffling together along the boundaries of their pen, nosing out every strand of grass just beyond the fence, using their massive tongues and jaws and lips to pluck cud from mud.

“People sometimes talk about the theory of ‘one bad day,’” Hinnen continues. “The idea that by treating animals well before we kill them, as opposed to keeping them in factory farms, they’re only really experiencing one day of discomfort. We go even further. We butcher them right here, at their home pens, and so they never even feel fear or pain at all. It’s really more like ‘one bad minute’—they have no clue what’s coming. And then it’ll be over. You’ll see.”

We stand watching the cows together for a while. There are more chores to do, but it’s hard to get anything done at this point. The tension builds. The mobile butcher guys text Hinnen and tell her they’re running a little bit behind. “They got stuck doing a couple extra cows at another job,” she says, “but they’ll be here any minute.”

Time passes at a crawl. The cows forage. The rain falls. Every few moments we hear, then see, a new truck passing along the country road, but it is not the truck.

A big van goes past—like what we’re looking for, I figure—but it’s for someone else’s project, someone else’s rural tableau. My heart is roaring in my chest now, adrenaline pumping.

At last, a drab gray box truck pulls off the road, and Hinnen runs to the gate to let it in. The truck is manned by two fellas, Cole Stovall, 20, and Connor Barnes, 27, both tall and lean in matching ash-green Helly Hanson rain gear and knee-high Welly work boots, sipping Red Bulls and leaning out the windows. Barnes is wearing an American flag hat. They do this work all day long, traveling farm to farm across rural Oregon, operating a full-service mobile slaughter unit for independent farms and ranches. It’s just a job, like any other—and that means they’re on social media, too, part of the chain of content in the wider meat community. (Stovall’s bio on Instagram reads, simply, “Slaughterman 🔪🔪” )

Stovall and Barnes nod my way and make a little small talk with Hinnen, but these guys get paid by the hour, and we are on a schedule. Things move quickly now. Hinnen changes into a pair of pink bibs; Stovall and Barnes unlatch the back and side doors of the mobile rig, which is already half full of hanging quarters from a busy morning. Stovall pulls a large rifle from the back of the truck—the aforementioned .22, tourmaline-black—and secures a pair of ear guards. I instinctively step back five paces, then 10.

Snowday and Baby stand there, blinking and clueless. The chubby Jerseys are watching intently, and so is Oreo, the fence jumper, who has come over to follow the action from the post of her pen. Do they know what’s coming? Can they sense our anxiety? Or is this, too, an evolutionary trick to make us care more?

Stovall loads the rifle. The men enter the pen. Everything is quiet.

“I hate this part,” Hinnen says. She covers her ears. I follow her lead.

CRACK!

Instantly I smell the gunfire, acrid and clinging to the nose, suspended in the drizzle. One shot, one kill. Snowday drops in a heap, the lovely brown of her hide sinking into the mud.

CRACK!

Baby falls next to Snowday. Smoke hangs in the air. The valley is a whisper.

I spent a year eating vegan in 2019 and wrote about the experience extensively. I committed myself to it because I wanted the perspective, I was curious about the purported health benefits, and I found the food culture around veganism thriving more and more, from the Pacific Northwest, where I live, to Amsterdam, home to one of the greatest vegan lunch spots, Mr. Blou I Love You. This experience fundamentally changed how I thought about meat and animals, almost like a system reset. It forced me to reconsider meat consumption in all its facets, the good and bad. In the end, I went back to eating meat for equally multifaceted reasons: Veganism alone didn’t meet my health needs, and the highly processed nature of many of the vegan products I found myself consuming seemed like a contradiction of goals. I also, frankly, really missed eating meat and wondered if there might be a kind of third way forward.

I think it’s fair for an observer to feel skeptical about ethical meat consumption, to wonder if the “ethical” part might not be much more than a kind of self-referential hokum, the sort of thing we tell ourselves so we can sleep at night. This is certainly the objection of much of the modern animal rights movement, which fundamentally stands opposed to animal slaughter in all forms, be it factory farms or intimate operations like those of Vorfreude Dairy Beef or Preservation Meat Collective. The point made here is compelling: If we’re endeared to animals, and care for them and identify with them and even love them, then it must be some form of sin to reject those feelings of love and engage in their slaughter, or consume the products derived from it. What someone like Rachel Hinnen calls “productive death,” groups like PETA term “genocide.”

Both groups—the vegans and the meat community—arrive at the same conclusion, which is the earnestly held conviction that theirs is the true form of consumption with ethics. Both might be true and also neither. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the horrors of meat production as depicted in prevailing vegan propaganda are almost always tethered to the experience of factory farms, images of which look baldly, undeniably, like scenes of atrocity.

Small-production meat arguably offers an alternative way; it’s not abstention, nor is it gross excess, but rather a more nebulous and complicated thing—one often financially inaccessible to many. It’s easy to claim small-farm production as the more ethical choice, but that neatly ignores the real financial costs involved in sourcing beef this way, not to mention the environmental impact. Factory farming allows prices to stay low while producing as much meat as humanly possible, the very same cruel logic that leads to sweatshops and cobalt mines. The national average retail ground beef price is $4.81 a pound; you can expect to pay twice that at a high-end, small-farm-focused butcher shop in the Pacific Northwest. Small-scale farming is also difficult and expensive, as well as emotionally and professionally draining, a series of long hours and sleepless nights and tests on mental health that farmers make (of course) endless memes about. “These heifers are robbing me blind,” one rancher captions a post about the cost of cattle.

“Nobody does this to become a millionaire,” says Hinnen. “The up-front costs are huge, and the financial landscape changes so fast, from frost to vet bills.” Factors like alfalfa cost indexes and variable fencing supplies complicate cost-per-cow calculations. As a beef producer with fewer than 20 heads of cattle at a time, though, Hinnen is in the bottom 12% of cow herds nationwide. Her business is tiny and not yet profitable. Even then, finances are partly why Hinnen focuses on her style of small-scale beef production as opposed to dairy. “Beef is nuts, dairy is worse,” she tells me. “The price of feed is quickly outrunning the price of milk, and dairy farms are going bankrupt left and right.”

There are no easy answers. It is an itchy, uncomfortable set of realities, one that can drive you mad if you let it, creeping up again and again with the ding of every dinner bell. We say ethical consumption is a fallacy, but we are drawn to attempt it, over and over. Such efforts may just require embracing discomfort from time to time in our too-short lives. We may not have a choice when we inevitably come across it on our social media feeds. It means we don’t get to look away.

Stovall and Barnes move with balletic efficiency, first with guns, then with blades. A few moments after firing the two fateful shots, they advance on Baby and Snowday with plastic-sheathed knives glinting under the weak sun. They man up to each cow, cleanly slitting their throats in single rips. The cows flail wildly in the mud as the electro-pulse-charge neuronic pathways in their bovine brains slowly fire out, very much dead but not yet at rest. The bodies kick and piss and gasp. There is so, so much blood, rushing like a busted fire hydrant from their steaming throats, draining into the muddy ground, forming iron-red rivulets of heavy gloss, fusing with the rain puddles.

The Jerseys are gathered together at the fence behind us, watching intently across the 10 long minutes. “You guys are next!” Hinnen says, joking. A little gallows humor.

At last, the cows finish flopping and rutting, and the slaughtermen get to work. No movement is wasted. First, they attach large chains to the hind legs of the cows, which are hooked to a large industrial winch that allows them to be pulled efficiently through the mud and up to the back of the box truck. Once there, Stovall and Barnes set up two huge plastic barrels and sharpen their knives. They wash the mud and blood off Baby and Snowday using a hydraulic pump water system mounted to the back of the truck and then skin them in clean, easy slices, like pulling up carpet from a remodeled den. They sharpen the knives constantly. They chop off the fore and aft limbs, cracking the legs (first at the coffin joint, or the hemline of the hoof, then at the stifle, roughly equivalent to the human knee) and tossing the discarded hooves and bones into the gore buckets. Handsaws and bonesaws come out next, and it’s all surreal to watch, numb and horrific and dreamlike.

Snowday’s corpse begets considerable inquiry; she’d concealed a large abscess beneath her breast, and Hinnen fixates on it. She has become analytical and focused now, setting aside the emotional thoughtfulness of a few moments ago for something more like evaluation (the bundle of sage long ago extinguished in the rain), assessing the cow for its health, cutting open the offending abscess, allowing a mixture of puss and blood to flow onto the grass like liquid nacho cheese. Meanwhile, Barnes pulls Baby’s heart from the chest cavity—a normal part of the slaughter process in which an animal is dismantled—and washes it with the hydraulic pump, sending first a spurt of blood and then a rush of water cascading out of the left ventricle.

“I guess she was a lover,” he says, chuckling. “She’s got a big heart.”

An enormous sack of organs is removed next, including the cow’s stomach, which Barnes and Stovall slice open to remove the contents, revealing a pungent aroma of partially digested grass. Hinnen crouches over it to evaluate as the slaughtermen begin breaking down Snowday and Baby into quarters, firing up an electric saw to carve through bone and sinew. As they strip the cows down, they start to look like steak—I notice a hint of marbling, of raw exposed flesh like what I might see at a butcher’s counter.

I’m standing there, thumbing notes into my damp phone, the text jumping all over on me, trying to keep my shit together as Hinnen starts hauling Baby’s skin over to the back of her pickup truck. It’s a heavy job and something in me is compelled to help. I bend over and assist her in dragging the hide. There’s blood on my hands, city parka, and shoes as we carry Snowday’s beautiful brown-and-cream skin.

“I’ll use all of this,” Hinnen says, lifting with her knees, pink bibs and beanie and long blonde hair wet with rain. “Some for leather, some for pillows. We’ll even make candles out of the fat. Everything from today, it’s all going somewhere. It all means something.”

Weeks later I text her to ask about producing products from the cows I watched at the harvest. “My goal is to bring more value to these hard-working dairy girls and show the world that they’re more than just ground beef,” she says. “Even the skulls are saved and cleaned as well. I currently have Baby and Snowday’s pretty skulls decorating my living room.”

I’m punch-drunk from the sight of it all as I drive the long way back to Portland, down the lonely highway and through the little town of Molalla, passing family farms and solar harvest fields, alien crops tilting toward the hidden sun. In that moment, part of me never wants to eat meat again, and part of me wants to eat a steak, and I feel like neither version makes sense.

The thing is, this kind of meat is delicious. If, at the end of the day, what you really care about is taste, retired dairy beef from a happy cow with a happy life is one of the most remarkable things you can eat. My first time eating retired dairy cow, back in 2020, was nothing short of revelatory: The flavor was deep, the chew umami-rich and savory. The fat had something herbaceous in it, like clover and green grass, and the meat had just the most evocative nutty-beefy-bloody taste. You barely even have to cook this kind of beef, and all the rest of my favorite things to enjoy with it—a spike of fresh horseradish, a buttery fork of sautéed mushrooms, a funky pop of Stilton blue cheese, and, most especially, the crisp, clean cut of good red wine—compose themselves in a polyphony of flavors and textures.

“The meat on older animals is the most incredibly dark shade of red and will be capped with yellow fat full of carotene from a life spent grazing fresh grass,” Kevin Smith says. He’s a James Beard Award–nominated chef and butcher who operates Beast & Cleaver, a butcher shop in Seattle that sells exclusively small-production meat from local family farms, often with a focus on retired dairy cows.

“The beef flavor of these cuts is just massively amplified,” he continues. “Cooked properly and sliced against the grain, the flavor is unparalleled. It’s one of the most marvelous things you can eat in your life.”

Whatever it is you think about this world—the meat community, small-production beef—I can tell you that the resulting products are not just delicious, but delicious in a way that is moving, emotional, even profound. That might sound woo-woo to some. But when you understand how the food on your plate has died, I think you simply taste it more deeply.

I somehow pilot the car back across the highway, but I can’t go home yet. I need to talk with someone, to process the experience, and so I drive, quite without realizing it, despite how obvious the choice may seem, in the direction of my favorite city butcher shop. It’s exactly the sort of joint that focuses on small-production animal farms, a place called Revel Meat Co.

A butcher named Vicary Biggs is working the counter—he’s the guy I buy meat from most weekends—and I just start unloading on him, telling him all about what I’ve just witnessed, the gun and the knives and the gore and the mud and the rain. “That’s so cool,” he says empathetically. (I am visibly rattled.) “Most people never see that part of the process. More people should.”

Rachel Hinnen wasn’t kidding when she said everything from today would be used in some way or another. On Instagram, she posts the video from earlier in the day, crouching in the mud, the rain falling around her tear-reddened face. “I’m hanging out here with Baby and Snowday,” she says, “and today is their day to go.” The story is saved under an Instagram highlight titled, simply, “Slaughter Days.” The slaughter itself isn’t shown.

When I finally arrive back home, my shoes are splattered in dirt and mud and shit and blood, but I can’t seem to bring myself to clean them. They sit for a day like that, two days, and I know I really should take care of it, but I keep avoiding the moment. It’s been weeks now, everything caked into the soles, dried and unyielding. Something about it feels both wrong and right.

#food #ethics

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kamreadsandrecs · 11 months

Text

By Jordan Michelman

Smoke billows from the sage, and the smell immediately alters the cows’ demeanor; they become noticeably mellower, even contemplative. Or is that just my projection? My own anxieties?

“At the end of the day, the animals need to die,” So tells me. “They need to go to harvest.”

“The waiting is the hardest part,” Hinnen says, joining me by the Jerseys.

“So when it happens,” I ask, making nervous small talk in the rain, “how do they, like…how do they do it?”

We sit with this information together.

Time passes at a crawl. The cows forage. The rain falls. Every few moments we hear, then see, a new truck passing along the country road, but it is not the truck.

A big van goes past—like what we’re looking for, I figure—but it’s for someone else’s project, someone else’s rural tableau. My heart is roaring in my chest now, adrenaline pumping.

Stovall loads the rifle. The men enter the pen. Everything is quiet.

“I hate this part,” Hinnen says. She covers her ears. I follow her lead.

CRACK!

Instantly I smell the gunfire, acrid and clinging to the nose, suspended in the drizzle. One shot, one kill. Snowday drops in a heap, the lovely brown of her hide sinking into the mud.

CRACK!

Baby falls next to Snowday. Smoke hangs in the air. The valley is a whisper.

The Jerseys are gathered together at the fence behind us, watching intently across the 10 long minutes. “You guys are next!” Hinnen says, joking. A little gallows humor.

“I guess she was a lover,” he says, chuckling. “She’s got a big heart.”

#food #ethics

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moniston · 1 year

Text

Netflix Shera was bad like really bad

so recently I revisited Shera and my view of the show got worse. from the pacing, the world-building, the characters and literally everything was either half-baked or just left a bunch of loose ends. the show's biggest letdown was the world-building, it was really underdeveloped. In the show, there are 8 princesses so there are 8 kingdoms right? And the show in the beginning mostly focuses on Adora building up the rebellion back up and meeting up with the other princesses so which means she and glimmer bow need to travel from kingdom to kingdom. so why did it feel like they would travel city from city, not the entire ass planet, in the middle of the show I forgot that Etheria was a PLANET, not just a country. the kingdoms themselves felt and were so empty and the castles also. so you're telling me none of these princesses had counselors, generals, other royal family members, etc?? we barely saw any civilians and glimmer castle didn't even have a jail and was even made as a joke during season 3 when shadow weaver was locked up. when mermista kingdom fell to hordak and was taken the show was so serious but all I could do is sit there and laugh in confusion and just how ridiculous. who first of all leaves their kingdom with no LEADERSHIP??? like was there no one telling these girls "Hey, you guys can't just leave we need a leader here" but the show completely slides over that. which all leads to a number of plot holes and loose ends in the story. how did none of the princesses build up their military??? like how did they fight off hordak for years with no weapons, military soldiers, etc?? you're telling me all these girls' kingdoms have no military, cities to handle, royal family members, or any advisors?? they don't even get the police force or some sort, it felt so unserious. The next thing is humans, bow is human and his parents are human and his dads mentioned university so does that mean there are other humans and universities too? we never got to meet another human besides Bow or ever hear of Bow "university" ever again, it felt like the creators only made that episode to show bows dads and just glossed off that info as always. The next thing that was my biggest pet peeve, was the first ones. Adora's past and the first ones but never went past actually showing a first one and what happened to them after, what happened to shera family and the current condition of their people. the show focused so much on adding trauma as reasoning to Catra's batshit actions instead of actually focusing on the plots they introduced. let's not forget we never found out why horde prime became a totalitarian space leader. did he just wake up one day and was "Hey, why don't I take over the entire GALAXY??" or wtv. also, how did 3 individuals help liberate and outdo most of Horde's prime rule on the planets?? it felt like just a rushed and cheap way to explain how the other planets were liberated after horde prime was defeated. That's the problem, the series felt rushed and the plots keep being added and left hanging and glossed over for character mental breakdowns and relationships. there are also other issues such as the animation but that's not much of a problem for me but is noticeable because of the lazy writing. I can give credit to its humor even if it cringes at times and characterization which later becomes a problem later on, especially for Catra whose so-called sorry scene was more like suicide for her and who literally gave up on living. the way the fandom talked about the show made you think shera was this mature and smart show that portrays mental illness and relationships in "realistic" ways... literally being so unserious.

#she ra netflix #entertainement #review #rant post #on writing #netflix series

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free--therapy · 2 years

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Hi! thank you so much for answering my ask and your reply kinda made me cry from how kind it was. thank you for being so understanding, I'm very grateful

The past two weeks have been very stressful with midterm tests, thesis, assignments all due at the same time and this has taken a huge toll on my mental health because i ended up experiencing a setback in my healing from anxiety. the last time i felt this anxious over things was in july so it feels weird to be there again after a long time of minimal anxiety. It feels really bad...like being sucked into the same dark place again haha

this time around, my guilt and anxiety over that nsfw content i watched came back and while i tried to brush it off by telling myself that I've dealt with these thoughts already....in the end i did end up overthinking a lot again.

this is sort of a long messy ask so please feel free to ignore!

the content im referring to is both the pet related thing and also the weird side of anime/manga (hentai involving underage children). Honestly, i just randomly remembered it and started thinking "wait how do i know it's not illegal or something?" and i ended up searching whether it is or isn't

well after searching for official rules/laws, i didn't find any ban or restrictions on watching that nsfw pet content thing (though it still makes me uncomfortable now and ofc im never even thinking about it again) but surprisingly what i did find was apparently, that animal nsfw content was among most searched for nsfw content in a major big city in my country. it kinda threw me off because i thought i was a weird gross person who watched it without feeling weird until i grew up and left it for good but turns out there are many people who watch it or search for it too.....i mean, that is wrong ofc but knowing im not alone feels kinda less lonely and knowing it's not illegal or something helped me calm down from anxiety related to it tbh

however the anime/manga l*licon content is a whole different story. personally, i didn't care about it because i always thought it was fictional and animated so doesn't really matter if someone watched it or even if i end up conauming it somehow but as you said, even if it's animated, the ideas are still real

and when i searched for any laws related to it...i ended up finding mixed opinions? apparently out of the two laws, one stated that distributing such content in any form of media (including cartoons and such) was not allowed and if you store or download it for personal reasons, it has to be deleted. i've never done any of those since i've only ever come across it online. i never download or store or share any nsfw content except viewing it online if i do and apparently that's allowed so that's not a problem

However the second (older) law ended up triggering quite a bit of anxiety tbh. because it mentions that distributing, sharing downloading or browsing of any explicit nsfw content (in form of real videos, drawings/painting, images and such) that contains children under eighteen is not allowed. its only allowed if its for good reasons for science, literature or art purpose but what does that even mean? and this guideline does not mention anything about animated fictional content so idk if anime/manga is considered here or not.....but ofc my anxiety is at the peak and all i can think about is...what if anime/manga type content is not allowed either? then does that mean i did something illegal? where can i find more information on this? etc. i've only ever browsed anime content that i randomly come across but is that wrong too? or does it not count?

not to mention....it confused me a lot because even when i considered normal anime/manga content...something like a romance shoujo or something with characters around 17 y/o...in those types of series as well there are sometimes scenes that can get explicit but this never striked as wrong to me since the main characters are high schoolers and many mainstream anime/manga series do have this content but if the law really doesn't allow animated fictional content either then does that mean i can't watch any anime? lol i'm so confused and anxious 😭

idk if anime/manga related underage stuff is legal under this law since it isn't directly mentioned and my overthinking is through the roof rn. every time i get free time, my mind keeps going back to those worries and idk what to do?

i mean....a part of me is like "stop, you're overthinking. let this be and move on" but another part is like "yeah but what if it's illegal? what will you do then?" i keep getting intrusive thoughts like "is it really legal?" "what if it isn't?" "If it's illegal then does that make me a offender?" "What do i do now?" And all those kinds of thoughts

so whenever i try to move on from feom this worry and try to find some peace of mind, my thoughts go "but should you be looking for peace of mind if what you watched really turns out to be illegal?" and so....these types of thoughts are making me unable to move on or distance myself from these worries

and i know a big part of me feeling this is my anxiety. since a big part of my anxiety is focused around wanting to be perfect and not making any mistakes or wrong acts. so whenever i find any mistake i recently made, i just keep feeling like i should correct it somehow and i feel the same way for this issue too. i end up searching if there's anything mentioned on what's allowed or what's not

i feel like im thinking too much and taking this too seriously. ofc the law should be follwed but in this case where idk what's true or not....i feel like i should let it go and that im being too focused on this. because i know a lot of people around me who have watched or read similar content regardless of if its wrong or not but they don't think so much about it? so am i supposed to do the same?

idk what the correct response to this situation would be and is it even okay to just forget this and move on? would that even be okay? what do u think?

(Sorry for sending this heavy ask)

- 🌼

No problem, Anon :) I'm always happy to help and give some advice.

One thing you have to remember when you're on your healing journey is that there will be setbacks. You will have moments where you feel like you've gone one step forward and three steps back. Healing is not linear though, and that's something I had to accept when I was on my journey too (and still face with even though I've gotten so far!)

I understand where your anxiety is coming from and it's a good thing you tried looking that stuff up to try and calm your mind. Of course it didn't have the results you wanted to see, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's kind of hard to gauge what's allowed or not when it comes to the internet because it's so easy to come across certain things, even by accident. I think if it's something you do on a continuous basis, then there'd be a problem. We've all broken a law one way or another, whether we're aware they're even laws to begin with. Jaywalking is usually illegal, but sooo many people do it. Sometimes I think that some of these laws are put in place so that when people do get caught doing something bad/illegal, they can tack on all the little offences too as a way to make a fine or sentencing worse. There's honestly just so much grey area with a lot of different laws. I don't think something you've done in the past will get you into serious trouble. Even if you were to say turn yourself into the police right now, they'd probably laugh. I don't think you should stop watching anime though, but just be mindful of the content that you are consuming.

If those things are still weighing heavy on your mind, see if you can contact someone in your local government who knows the law that can maybe help easer your mind. I do think you are overthinking and catastrophizing this situation a little too much, but I'm not dismissing or minimizing how you feel. I just want you to make sure you're recognizing how you're reacting to this situation so that you can focus on the things that you can control right now: how you think about the situation.

Your anxiety is definitely searching yourself with a fine tooth comb to come up with things to be anxious about. What you can do it recognize that this is happening and challenging those thoughts that come up. Remind that voice in your head that you've already made peace with this situation before and no amount of overthinking about it is going to change what happened. All you can control is the here and now and how you get to choose not to let these thoughts try to bring you down. See those thoughts come up to the surface, acknowledge them and how they make you feel, but don't entertain them.

idk what the correct response to this situation would be and is it even okay to just forget this and move on? would that even be okay? what do u think?

Yes, it would be okay to let go of these things from the past and move on. It's not worth wasting your energy and time on overthinking when you have so many other important things to focus on that's happening in your life right NOW. Don't get too hung up on the fact that it could be against a law. What happened happened and you didn't get caught. Now that you know better you can do better and that's where the focus should be. We all do things in our past that we may not be proud of, but it's part of our growth.

#ask #answered #anon #perfectionism #fear of failure #mistakes #rumination #letting go of the past #anxiety #overthinking

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dgmagines · 4 years

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Could I just get fluff for the main 3 with a huge amount of cuddles??

Thisis,, sorta related? But here’s a cuddle imagine Min wrote three years ago ft.Kanda!! if you wanna read that owo

Oh!! and gentle reminder that askbox is open for another 3 days so don’t forget to send your stuff, aight? Now on with the ask!! It got lowkey long so I’m gonna put it under read more, okay? q w q

Allen

Itwas no secret that Allen got cold rather easily. It also wasn’t a surprise toanyone when they saw him clinging to someone to leech off of their body warmth-especially in the colder months. What did surprise them, however, washow needy he got whenever he wanted some warmth – especially if itinvolved a certain (h/c) who, as of this moment, was trying really hard to focuson their paperwork.

Theycould hear Allen whining their name, half asleep as he pressed his body closerto theirs in what was probably a poorly executed attempt to get them to stopwriting– oh, and also to steal some of their body warmth as well. He’d alwayscommented about how they were basically a walking furnace – a comment whichthey took as a compliment, albeit a weird one – and would always cling to themin the winter months so this was to be expected.

_______ glanced towards the pouting boy,smiling softly when he grumbled out invitations to sleep and mumbled cursestowards their report for the nth time that day. He’d been at it for the pasthour now, clinging and pawing at their arm with his blanketed hands, determinedto detract their attention from the stacks of papers whose deadline was still aweek ahead.

“Youknow you could just go to sleep first, right?”

“Andfreeze myself to death?! ______, I didn’t know you could be so mean!” Allen’soutburst caused the young (h/c) to bust out laughing, prompting him to huffat their reaction. As if to prove his point, the teen shook his hands loosefrom the thick blanket, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around his partner’sabdomen. He snuck his hands under their shirt, grinning at the surprise yelpthey let out as his frigid fingers made contact with their skin.

“Allen!Get those zombie hands off of me or I swear to god-!” The white-haired maleshook his head ferociously, pushing himself closer to them until he could feelthem tethering to the edge of their seat. He grinned, a mischievous glint inhis eyes as he rested his chin on their shoulder.

“Noway! I told you I needed to cuddle for warmth!!” Any attempt they made to tryand push him away was met with him tightening his arms around them, pressinghis cold hands to as much skin as he could before his hands warmed up. _______groaned, leaning heavily against him so that they wouldn’t fall off their seat.

“Okayokay!! Fine, I’ll cuddle! Let go of me already!” ______ finally relented andthe smile on Allen’s face felt like they were staring right into the sun. Theyflicked his forehead, a pout of their own settling on their visage as Allenwhined. They turned towards the table, Allen groaning and whining when he sawthat they were clearing their things at a really slow pace.

_______laughed.

“You’relucky I love you,”

Kanda

Warm.

Thatwas what Kanda thought as he burrowed his face in their chest, pulling themimpossibly close as he felt himself drifting in the realm between dream andreality. He heard a low chuckle of amusement coming from his partner, hiseyebrows furrowing as the sound pulled him out of his dream.

“Whatsfunny-?” he mumbled almost incoherently, parting from their warmth just a tinybit so that he could tilt his head upwards to glare at them. A mumbled ‘goodmorning’ and their lips pressed to his forehead made Kanda huff, his eyesnarrowing in slight dissatisfaction before he assumed his previous positiononce more.

He could feel his partner running their handthrough his hair, fingers massaging his scalp ever so often. That, paired withthe soft humming of a song he didn’t recognize, was almost enough to lull himback into slumber.

Almost.

“Yuu,aren’t you going to get up anytime soon?” ______ hummed, hands pausing theiraction in favour of gently patting his head, prompting him to lift his faceonce more. Even with how unfocused his gaze was due to being sleepy, hecouldn’t miss the soft smile that was etched on their lips, warm (e/c) eyesstaring back at him.

Heblinked.

Andhe almost let out a whine at the thought of leaving his bed.

“DoI have to?” if one squinted hard enough, they could see Kanda’s lips forminginto a slight pout and ______ had to hold back the ticklish laughter thatthreatened to bubble from their throat at the sight. How and when had thegrumpy swordsman they all knew and loved turned so soft?

“Hmmwell I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” they paused, pressingtheir lips to his forehead once more before grinning cheekily at him.

“Butyou promised to check on the plants before leaving for the mission, remember?”Kanda grumbled a few choice words under his breath, brows furrowing as heremembered the promise he had sleepily made before they collapse into eachother’s arms the night before. Curse his sleepy self!!

Theswordsman was silent for a few minutes – mainly because he was trying tocalculate how much time he could afford to procrastinate on the plant checkingand reporting for the mission – before he finally responded-

-bypulling the blankets higher and pulling them closer.

“’slater. I still have some more time,”

Lavi

Itwas quiet in the Order that day, which was rare considering the amount of,,,,unique,,, personalities that lived under the roof. Lavi could hear someoneshuffling about in his room, their murmurs not quite reaching his ears as herolled over and pressed a pillow to his face.

“Pleasebe quiet,” he groaned when he heard the clatter of something falling to theground, a frantic apology reaching his ears a few moments later. The shufflingnoises continued for ten more minutes or so, all while Lavi tried to drift offinto dreamland to no avail.

Hesighed, aggravated at his own brain for keeping him awake, and reached across thebed- only to find the other side empty.

Ah..That would explain the noise then…

Thered head rubbed his eyes as he lifted himself from the confines of his bed,blanket falling from his chest to pool around his waist. A single emerald eyesquinted in the dim light of his room, the only source of light coming from alit candle a couple steps away from on the work table.

“________?”he called for his partner, wondering where the heck they were when theyshould’ve been in bed with him. Not a minute after he uttered their name, thelovable (h/c) poked their head into the room, smiling apologetically at him asthey stepped inside and closed the door behind them.

“DidI wake you?” they sat beside him on the bed, a hand coming up to pat his hairdown as if it’ll soothe his unruly bedhead. Nonetheless, Lavi leaned into thetouch, closing his eyes as their fingers ran through the strands of his hair.

“No.But I couldn’t sleep without you either,” they laughed at his barely concealedwhine, pressing their lips to his forehead before gently pushing him back inbed.

“Apologiesmy love,” even in the dim lighting, Lavi swore the small smile they wore ontheir lips was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. “I was restless andcouldn’t sleep after a dream I had,”

“Whatkind of dream?” he asked, voice taking on an almost childish tone as his eyesbecame heavy once more. He could barely pick up the scent of the burning candlethey had used, the smell slowly lulling him back to sleep.

“It’snothing to concern yourself over, Lavi,” they smiled and before they had achance to move away from him, the boy grabbed hold of the sleeve of theirshirt. He looked up at them with a pout on his lips and a sleepy glare in hiseyes – which only made ______’s heart pick up pace because they thought he wassimply adorable.

“ButI wanna knoooooow,” he mumbled, whining even as he was slipping into sleep.______ smiled, gently prying his fingers off of their sleeve, blew out thecandle, and climbed into the bed next to him. He immediately turned and wrappedhis arms around them, burying his face in the crook of their neck as theylaughed from how ticklish his hair was.

“Buttell me while we’re like this… I wanna be warm,” _______ ran a hand through hishair, the redhead making himself comfortable in their embrace. With a smallsmile on their face, they parted their lips.

“Alrightthen,”

#anon #imagines #allen walker #kanda yuu #yuu kanda #lavi bookman #lavi bookman jr #lavi bookman jr.#dgm #d gray man #d.gray man #d. gray man #dgm hallow #okay but like my little sister is watching the animation i wanted to watch and uGH #its highkey distracting #its only on the third ep and its already sO GOOD #my country really upped the animation and story telling for their series in the past year and i'm tHRIVING

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smol-and-grumpy · 3 years

Text

To Be Free - CH01

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Escaping and hiding away, that’s what she wants to do. Her parent’s remote cabin in the mountain sounds like the best place for it. There, she meets someone from her past — a green-eyed mountain man.

Chapter Warnings: A little back story, cheating (not Dean), language, threats being made, car accident

WC: 2481

Beta: @winchest09 <3

A/N: So, this is the beginning of the Mountain Man!Dean AU. I hope you’ll like it!

Read ahead on Patreon!

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

The phone buzzes on the seat next to her. Again.

It hasn’t stopped ringing since Y/N had gotten into the car and drove away. She’s so close to just throwing it out of the window but then again, the rational side of her brain tells her that she would endanger the automobiles around her on the highway, and she doesn’t really want to cause any damage, or accidents, if it can be avoided.

“You’re a goody-goody.” Mick always used to say, “It’ll get you in trouble if you don’t toughen up.”

Perhaps Mick was right. She probably was not made to work in that firm where she has to help fucking criminals. But then again, he made it seem so plausible and she can’t believe that she fell for it all. Y/N had fallen for the prestige, for the fame, and most of all, she had fallen for Mick, and that was the worst fucking mistake.

The events of that night flash before her eyes once more.

It’s 9 PM. Mick usually doesn’t have a reason to work so late unless he has a meeting with the mob family that they have under their wings. She never liked to go to their meetings, always found an excuse to opt out. The way the men always stare at her like she was a piece of meat rather than a woman with a brain, always sent a chill down her spine.

When she stepped out of the elevator, the floor was dark. There’s only minimal light coming from the reception area that’s vacated at this time of the night. Y/N never liked to be here after hours but it’s the only place she thought she could find Mick. He didn’t pick up his phone when she called him which was highly unusual. Somehow, she was a little afraid of what she would find. It could be him just laughing and joking with the mobsters, but it could also have been him bruised and beaten beyond recognition because the Family wasn’t happy with his work, or it could be worse. He could be dead. Today was his birthday too and she even ordered catering for the both of them to enjoy at home. She guessed that she would have to pop the dishes into the microwave because by the time she decided to check here, it was already starting to turn cold.

Walking further along the hallway, she noticed that the lights in Mick’s office are still on and a sense of relief washed over her, while the sense of dread built up in the pit of her stomach at the same time.

“Oh god, Mick.”

There was a faint moan that carried through the hallway of the offices. It made her blood freeze, but it forced her to walk faster.

“Mmh,” she heard Mick humming. “Always so fucking tight for me, Eve. Such a good pussy.”

“Better than Y/N, I’d hope.”

Mick chuckled, “I’d rather you not talk about her while I fuck you. You know you’re my best girl, baby.”

The dread in Y/N’s stomach intensified and something began to churn inside of her. She had to clutch it so as not to just hurl out the whole contents into the next pot plant she could find.

Eve was her friend. Her best friend since she moved into the city two years ago. She was even the one who helped Eve to get a job at her boyfriend’s firm.

Well, not her boyfriend anymore, she guessed.

She reached the door, fingers clutched around the frame for purchase as she took in the image before her. Eve was bent over the table, Mick half undressed, fucking into her from behind.

He threw his head back as he closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he turned his head and their eyes met.

For a brief second, she thought she saw a smirk twisting at his lips when he noticed her. He kept on pounding into Eve, though, his pace never faltered.

Y/N retreated, tears pooled in her eyes and she moved on autopilot. Before she knew it, she found herself in her office, packing the things that she needed into her laptop bag.

‘Stupid! So fucking stupid!’ she thought. She should have seen it. Why hadn’t she seen it? The red flags were always there. Mick always gave her assignments that would see her traveling all over the country for a long stretch of time. She would find receipts of hotels laying around in the apartment, or when she did laundry, but he always had a good reason. They hadn’t been intimate for a long time, too. Mick was always too tired and if he wasn’t then she would be. And if that happened, he would get out of bed and said that he needed a drink and was out of the apartment before she could even say anything. She was so engrossed in her work and too oblivious to what was going on, that she ignored all the warning signs.

She was crying now, the tears not stopping. But it’s not over Mick. She would never cry over a man who had treated her like this. She cried for herself, for being dumb enough to let someone play her.

Bending down to pack the remainder of her things, she opened her last drawer, revealing a little safe that was neatly tucked inside. Without hesitation, she punched in the combination and it sprang open. It contained a single USB stick.

Picking it up, she clutched it in the palm of her hand. She had forgotten about the small device and now she knew why Mick kept her around. She was the only person who had a copy of the shady business his clients are doing, because she was involved as much as Mick. He was never going to give her up because if the information got leaked, he'd be taking the fall.

There were footsteps along the hallway, the thumping sounds getting louder as someone rushed to her office and she quickly let the stick slip into her jean pocket.

“What are you doing?” he asked too casually but with a bitter undertone, acting like he hadn’t just fucked her best friend.

“What does it look like?” she snarled, patience wearing thin. “I quit. And don’t even come by my apartment anymore.”

He walked in further; his hair was ruffled and the buttons on his shirt were hastily done up, the material lopsided as he had fastened them wrong. She was so disgusted by his appearance.

Mick rubbed his hand over his chin, carefully thinking about his next words. “I need the USB stick before you leave.”

She snorted. That’s typical. All he could think about is his fucking business. “I don’t have it.”

“Liar!”

“Oh, look who’s talking.” Maybe, just maybe, she shouldn’t anger him but screw that.

“Y/N.” Mick rounded up around her desk and came to stand right before her. The scent of sex hit her nose in waves. It made her nauseous. “You’re going to get into so much trouble if they know that you have it and believe me, if you walk out of here, they will find out because I will tell them.”

“I’m not scared of those men.”

Mick laughed. Fucking laughed.

“They’ll come for you, Y/N. Those men are not to be fucked with.” He was still chuckling when he said, “They will find you and they will kill you.”

She cocked her eyebrow, and maybe she should have been scared of Mick and his threats but she’s still got the upper hand. If she got to expose him first, she has bargaining leverage. Maybe she’d get to be in a witness protection program. By the time it hits the fan, she will hopefully be long gone.

“I don’t have it,” she said again as she bumped her shoulder against his on her way out, shoving him to the side.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” Mick called after her, his voice echoing in the almost empty hallway.

With her head held high, she descended the stairs, too impatient and not to say scared to wait for the elevator.

The phone buzzed again after having only stopped for a short time. It actually hasn’t stopped ringing since she drove back to her apartment to pack her duffel with enough clothes that should last her for a couple of days. She wanted to get out of here, clear her head, think about what to do next.

It’s after she stopped for gas that she remembered the remote cabin that belonged to her parents. They hadn’t been up there for a while as the health of her father was deteriorating but she knew where they kept the spare key, and it’s the only place she knew nobody would come looking for her because she hadn’t been with Mick long enough to let him in on the existence of the cabin, nor on the memories the place held.

Buying enough food that would last her a couple of days, she drove towards the foot of the mountain.

It was February and the roads were icy as it had snowed just last night. She hoped that her car would have enough power to get her up there, as she didn’t have snow chains with her. Not that she knew how to put them on in the first place. If worse comes to worst, she’d have to abandon her car and hike up the last bit, which was totally fine with her too. Anything to get away from civilization.

As she made her way up the snowy road and rounded up the twelfth bend in the street (There were fourteen - she had counted them from the drive up there every winter), her phone buzzed again.

She glanced over to the passenger seat to catch the caller ID. It could be her mother for all she knew and that one, she would pick up. Y/N would maybe tell her that she was on the way to the cabin so that they wouldn’t be too worried if they can’t get a hold of her, because the reception could be pretty spotty up there.

But no, it’s fucking Mick again. She rolled her eyes upon seeing the name flash on the screen before turning her gaze back to the snow-covered street in front of her, but it was already too late. Out of her periphery, she caught it. The deer that ran out of the woods, its eyes wide when it saw the headlights of her SUV. Her foot hit the break immediately, but it was too late. The car swerved on the icy ground and she hoped she didn’t hit the animal before her vision goes black.

Dean was sitting in his recliner in the cabin while he enjoyed his glass of bourbon. It’s his downtime, one of his favorite pastimes, next to spending his days out with Stevie, his Bernese mountain dog.

He had been coming to this cabin since his early childhood, having only missed one Winter out of the many. There were times where he would only spend a week up here but also there were times where he would be there for the whole winter. It’s his favorite place, always has been.

The cabin is not as big as the ones that surrounded it, but it’s enough. It has only one bedroom, yet it was cozy. He remembered back to when he was younger, when he and his younger brother would sleep on the fold-out couch while his parents took the bedroom. Sometimes if Sam was upset with him, Dean would spend the night on the rug in front of the fireplace instead, and it was the best thing. He almost felt bad for wanting to get into a fight with Sam more often so that his sibling wouldn’t look at him funny when he wanted to spend the night on the floor instead of on the worn-out couch.

Once his parents stopped their annual visit up there, and they wanted to sell the cabin, Dean had saved enough money to buy it from them. There were just too many memories tied to the little property, too many of them that he wasn’t willing to just forget.

While he took a sip from his tumbler, Stevie lifted her head and twisted her ears.

Dean noticed, and immediately reached down to pat the dog's head, “What's wrong, Stevie?”

The dog ignored him to get up and walk over to the door, letting out a whine as her nails started to scratch at the wood.

“Easy, girl,” he soothes the agitated dog. “You wanna go out for a walk again?”

Stevie whined some more, her scratching becoming more frantic.

“Right,” Dean sighed as he got out of his seat. He took his time to empty his tumbler before setting it down on the coffee table. “Let’s go then.”

The snow had started to fall again as they got out of the cabin, and he ducked inside once more to grab his hat that’s hanging on the hook right behind the door. Stevie was not impressed that it was taking Dean so long to get ready and started to bark.

“Easy, Stevie,” he chuckled as her wet nose nuzzled against his palm. He reached down to scratch behind her ear, a motion that seemed to calm her down. “Good girl.”

They made their way down the street. The old snow crunched underneath his boots. Fresh layers of the white powder would cover over it soon enough, erasing their prints when it settled. He thought about doing their usual nightly walk around the perimeter, wondering if maybe they’d see a deer or two. Stevie had a way with deer. They love to meet her and Dean’s always mesmerized by the unusual bond they had. Stevie was always good with other animals and people, the dog’s sense to protect everyone is highly admirable, and Dean really couldn’t wish for a better companion.

As they rounded up the second bend in the road, he saw the car. Its headlights were still on but the front was wrapped around a tree which was the only thing standing between the car and the abyss. It was not a strong pine and the wood was already creaking under the weight.

Stevie rushed forward and Dean followed suit. The tree was going to give in at any minute, he just knew and if he couldn’t save the car, maybe he would be able to save whoever was stuck in there.

Dean thankfully reached the vehicle in time, yanking the driver’s door open and the sight of the girl slumped over the steering wheel made his blood run colder than the icy road he was standing on.

“Y/N?”

CH02

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

#to be free #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #mountain man!Dean #nathalie writes

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marshmallowgoop · 2 years

Text

Episode 425, Blu-ray Quality, and 10th-Anniversary Quiz Questions

Watched Episode 425 of Detective Conan for the first time recently, and it's a fun ride. Absolutely ridiculous—the FBI is really just taking this child along to stop multiple(!) assassination attempts!—but not without heart. It's got some great character moments (especially with Ai) and emotional drama (loved what we were shown of Kir).

But unlike Episode 345, the big, grand, showstopping 2.5-hour special prior to this one, there's some considerable bloating in regards to pacing here. A story that likely needed only a 2-hour timeslot to tell (at most) is stretched long and thin, with a laughable amount of repetition and recap. Perhaps most outrageously, there's a flashback to James Black's introduction case (specifically the second part, Episode 259) that's dragged out so unnecessarily far that it dawdles all over the screen for nearly a full two minutes.

(The timing of Episode 425 itself also strikes me as pretty funny. 345 has buildup, you know? 329 to 345 is practically straight plot. One hard-hitting, main-story case after another. Pieces are falling into place and threatening to collide constantly. There's a real sense of rising tension that culminates in the bombastic showdown that is the series' first 2.5-hour special.

(And this isn't just any anime. It's the 1,000+-episode, 25+-years-on-the-air, ginormous-barrier-of-entry monstrosity that is Detective Conan. Things proceed at a glacial pace here. The tiniest crumbs of crucial information are dropped at the speed of, like, three seconds every five episodes. Getting so much plot all at once is meaningful, something fitting for hyping up a big event that at least rattles the status quo, and while that Dutch-themed anime-original case in the midst of the 345 buildup (Episode 342) is of course wildly and ludicrously out of place, it's nothing compared to how out of place 425 feels.

(There's practically no setup here. The excessive recap makes it almost embarrassingly blatant that hardly anything main-plot relevant has happened since 345, and the episode prior to 425 is a filler—get this—called "Photo Email from the Clown."

(Yes, really. Only DetCo can build up to its super plot-heavy 2.5-hour special with a case featuring incidental characters we'll never see again and a dead clown. I love this show so much.)

But anyway, 425 is the only episode of the series that I own on Blu-ray, so I did actually appreciate the flashbacks for their visuals, if nothing else. None of the recounted episodes with traditional animation are of remastered quality, but there's definitely a clear difference between the DVD (top) and Blu-ray (bottom); as shown with this cap from Episode 177, the Blu-ray version has cleaner, sharper lines and colors:

And while I don't own a DVD version of 425 to compare how the episode itself looks between the two formats, judging from how much smoother and crispier (crunch) the digitally animated Episode 345 looks when recapped in 425 than it does on DVD, I think it's (probably?) fair to say that the same holds true for the Blu-raying of any digitally animated episode:

Regardless of anything else I could say about Episode 425, the evident jump in quality with the Blu-ray was dazzling, and it got me bummed that only a select handful of episodes have been released in this format! (At least in Japan, from what I know? Maybe other countries have more Blu-ray releases?) Sure the Black Organization and FBI-themed Treasured Selection Blu-rays (and the Akai Family TV Selections later) contain the Big Plot cases, and sure there are remastered versions of Episodes 1 to 123 up on Crunchyroll (in many countries) that do (in my opinion) have more elaborate and stunning HD'ing of traditionally animated episodes than what I see on my Episode 425 Blu-ray, but I'd love to own more high-quality Cone.

I've said in the past that it was a mistake to buy the Japanese DVD volumes individually—it's probably much less expensive in the long run to focus on listings selling entire season(s)—but there's certainly a silver lining here. The Black Organization and FBI 11 Treasured Selection that I purchased instead of Part 14, Volume 10 looks slick in Blu-ray quality, and I kind of want all the Japanese Blu-ray collections now.

But one thing about not having Part 14, Volume 10 is that I'm missing the first question in a 10-question quiz that commemorates the show's and movies' 10th anniversary and, fittingly, is a part of 10 episodes (starting with 425 and ending with 434). These short quiz segments before the openings are nothing out of this world or anything, but they're definitely cute, kinda like those "Who's that Pokemon?" spots. Loose translations are loose, but all the questions I do have are under the cut.

Question 2 says, "52 volumes of the original manga are on sale now! If you stacked all the books horizontally, how tall would the pile be in centimeters?" The three options for answers are だ (da), 70 cm; ぢ (ji), 90 cm; and づ (zu), 110 cm.

Question 3 asks, "How long is the show's opening narration in seconds?" The three options for answers are あ (a), 5 seconds; い (i), 15 seconds; and う (u), 30 seconds.

Question 4 asks, "In the year 2005, how many hours of Conan were broadcast?" The three options for answers are さ (sa), 10.5 hours; し (shi), 15.5 hours; and す (su), 20.5 hours.

Question 5 asks, "What episode number is the current episode?" The three options for answers are か (ka), Episode 379; き (ki), Episode 429; and く (ku), Episode 479.

Question 6 asks, "How many openings and endings has the Conan series had?" The three options for answers are あ (a), 41; い (i), 31; and う (u), 21.

Question 7 asks, "What is Conan not good at?" The three options for answers are ら (ra), soccer; り (ri), karaoke; and る (ru), swimming.

Question 8 asks, "What's Shinichi's favorite food?" The three options for answers are が (ga), lemon pie; ぎ (gi), sweet potato pie; and ぐ (gu), apple pie.

Question 9 asks, "What is the color of Dr. Agasa's car?" The three options for answers are つ (tsu), red; て (te), white; and と (to), yellow.

Question 10 asks, "What is the name of the drug that shrunk Conan?" The three options for answers are あ (a), APTX 1996; い (i), APTX 4896; and う (u), APTX 4869.

How'd you do? Personally, I found it amusing how the questions could range from difficult (for me, anyway!), like the manga-stacking question that is Question 2, to something more obvious, like Question 7 asking about what Conan's bad at.

Question 5 also cracked me up because the answer is super easy if you're watching on DVD, but, you know, on that note... the Japanese DVDs actually tend to not have their episodes ordered completely chronologically. For example, Episode 426 is included as the final episode on Part 14, Volume 9, even though Episode 425 makes up the entirety of Part 14, Volume 10. This is done so as to not split up multi-part cases across different DVDs, but it also means that, say, if I'm watching Episode 424, the next-episode preview at the end will be for Episode 426 (which comes next on DVD), and the episode preview for Episode 425 is included at the end of Episode 426, which chronologically takes place after 425! And let me tell you, so many of my subtitle files don't work for the previews because of this.

The DVDs thus encourage you to watch the episodes not in chronological order but in DVD order, and yet, the second quiz question is still included with Episode 426, not Episode 425, so you should be watching them in chronological order after all?

Ha, I don't know, but the answers, revealed at the end of each episode, are as follows:

2: だ (da), 70 cm

3: い (i), 15 seconds

4: す (su), 20.5 hours

5: き (ki), Episode 429

6: あ (a), 41 (specifically, 17 openings and 24 endings)

7: り (ri), karaoke

8: が (ga), lemon pie

9: と (to), yellow

10: う (u), APTX 4869

(Which, can I just say that Question 8 is cute? When I saw it, I knew that the answer had to be lemon pie because of its significance in Episodes 100-101, but I didn't realize that lemon pie was Shinichi's favorite food! That makes it so much sweeter that he loves Ran's first try at lemon pie so much, aw.)

Conan: Yummy!

And if you put all the hiragana (and katakana) of the answers together...

You get, "Thank you for loving Conan!"

Aww.

#detective conan #case closed #ramblings #shut up goop #detco dvd saga #ish #this probably sounds more negative than i meant but i had a lot of fun with episode 425 haha #it just totally came out of nowhere #also it didn't really fit but i swear i've heard it mentioned that some of the blu-rays #crop the 4:3 aspect ratio to fit into the modern 16:9 ratio?#not the case with 11 here but idk about the other ones #anyway blgh afraid my rent's gonna go up like 200 a month #and i messed up the shipping for one of my detco orders (the clean op/eds!) by using a po box when they don't ship to po boxes #so now reshipment fees are in my future and there goes 3800 yen....#so anyway here's something that's fun (i hope)#i can't believe i like detco so much but it makes me laugh

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thewidowsghost · 3 years

Text

The Daughter of the Sea - Chapter 2

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

(Y/n)’s POV

That night, I have vivid dreams.

It is storming on the beach, and two beautiful animals, a white horse and a golden eagle, are trying to kill each other at the edge of the surf. The eagle swoops down and slashes the horse’s muzzle with its huge talons. The horse rears up and kicks at the eagle’s wings. As they fight, the ground rumbles, and a monstrous voice chuckles somewhere beneath the earth, goading the animals to fight harder.

I run towards them, knowing I have to stop them from killing each other, but I’mrunning in slow motion. I know I would be too late. I saw the eagle dive down, its beak aimed at the horse’s wide eyes, and I scream, No!

I wake with a start.

Outside, it really is storming. The kind of storm that cracks trees and blows down houses. There is no horse or eagle on the beach, just lightning making false daylight, and twenty-foot waves pounding the dunes like artillery.

With the next thunderclap, my mom and Percy wake. Mom sits up, eyes wide, and says, “Hurricane.”

Over the roar of the wind, I hear a distant bellow, an angry, tortured sound that makes the hairs on my arms stand on end.

Then there is a much closer noise, like mallets in the snad. A desperate voice - someone yelling, pounding on our cabin door.

Mom springs out of her bed in her nightgown and throws open the lock.

Percy’s POV

Grover stands framed in the doorway against a backdrop of pourning rain. But he . . . he isn’t Grover.

“Searching all night,” Grover gasps. “What were you thinking?”

Mom looks at me in terror - not scared of Grover, but of why he’d come.

“Percy,” she says, shouting to be heard over the rain. “What happened at school? What didn’t you tell me?”

I’m frozen, looking at Grover, not comprehending what I’m seeing.

“O Zeu kai alloi theoi!” Grover yells. “It’s right behind me! Didn’t you tell her?”

I’m too shocked to register that he’d just cursed in Ancient Greek, and I’d understood him perfectly, I’m too shocked to wonder how Grover had gotten here by himself in the middle of the night. Because Grover doesn’t have his pants on - and where his legs should be . . . where his legs should be . . .

(Y/n)’s POV

Mom looks at Percy sternly and speaks in a tone she’d never used before, and it scared me a little, “Percy. Tell me now!”

Percy stammers something about old ladies at a fruit stand and a story that lined up with the dream I had had two days previously.

Mom stares at Percy and then me, her face deathly pale in the flashes of lightning.

Mom grabs her phone, tosses me and Percy our rain jackets, and says, “Get to the car. All three of you. Go!

Percy’s friend Grover runs for the Camaro - but he isn’t running, exactly. He is trotting, shaking his shaggy hindquarters.

Where Grover’s feet should be, there are no feet. There are cloven hooves.

. . .

We tear through the night along dark country roads. Wind slams against the Camaro. Rain lashes the windows. I don’t know how Mom can see anything, but she keeps her foot on the gas.

I hear Percy ask, “So, you and my mom . . . know each other?”

I see Grover’s eyes flit to the rearview mirror, though there are no cars behind us. “Not exactly,” Grover replies. “I mean, we’ve never met in person, but she knew I was watching you.”

“Watching him?” I ask, turning around to look at the - saytr? - behind me.

“Keeping tabs on him. Making sure he was okay,” Grover says, then looks over at Percy. “But I wasn’t lying about behind your friend,” he adds hastily. “I am your friend.”

“Um . . . what are you, exactly?” Percy asks.

“That doesn’t matter right now.”

“It doesn’t matter?” Percy echoes. “From the waist down, my best friend is a donkey -”

Grover lets out a sharp, throaty, “Blaa-ha-ha! I’m a goat from the waist down.”

“You said it didn’t matter,” Percy replies.

“Blaa-ha-ha! There are satyrs who would trample you underhoof for such an insult!”

“Whoa. Wait. Satyrs. You mean like . . . Mr. Brunner’s myths?” Percy asks.

“Were those old ladies at the fruit stand a myth, Percy? Was Mrs. Dodds a myth?” Grover asks my twin.

“So you admit there was a Mrs. Dodds!”

“Of course.”

“Then why—”

“The less you knew, the fewer monsters you’d attract,” Grover says, like that should be perfectly obvious. “We put Mist over the humans’ eyes. We hoped you’d think the Kindly One was a hallucination. But it was no good. You started to realize who you are.”

“Who I—wait a minute, what do you mean?”

The weird bellowing noise rises up again somewhere behind us, closer than before.

Whatever is chasing us is still on our trail.

“Percy,” Mom says, “there’s too much to explain and not enough time. We have to get you and (Y/n) to safety.”

“Safety from what?” I ask. “Who’s after us?”

“Oh, nobody much,” Grover says, obviously still miffed about Percy’s donkey comment. “Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions.”

“Grover!” Mom scolds.

“Sorry, Mrs. Jackson. Could you drive faster, please?”

I try to wrap my mind around what is happening, but I can’t. I had a vivid imagination, yes, but even I could never dream up something this weird.

Mom makes a hard left. We swerve onto a narrower road, racing past darkened farmhouses, wooden hills, and PICK YOUR OWN STRAWBERRIES signs on white picket fences.

“Where are we going?” I ask.

“The summer camp I told you about.” My mother’s voice is tight; she was trying for our sakes not to be scared. “The place your father wanted to send you.”

“The place you didn’t want us to go?” Percy asks, and I see him furrow his eyebrows in the rearview mirror.

“Please, dear,” Mom begs. “This is hard enough. Try to understand. You’re in danger.”

“Because some old ladies cut yarn,” Percy says, frowning.

“Those weren’t old ladies,” Grover says. “Those were the Fates. Do you know what it means—the fact they appeared in front of you? They only do that when you’re about to…when someone’s about to die.”

“Whoa. You said ‘you.’”

“No I didn’t. I said ‘someone.’”

“You meant ‘you.’ As in me.”

“I meant you, like ‘someone.’ Not you, you.”

“Boys!” Mom yells. She pulls the wheel hard to the right, and I get a glimpse of a figure she’s swerved to avoid - a dark fluttering shape now lost behind us in the storm.”

“What was that?” Percy asks, clearly also having seen the figure.

“We’re almost there,” my mother says, ignoring Percy’s question. “Another mile. Please. Please. Please.”

I don’t know where there is, but I find myself leaning forward in my seat, anticipating, wanting us to arrive.

The hair rises on my arms and the back of my head.

There is a blinding flash, and our car explodes.

Word Count: 1178 words

#percy jackson and the olympians #annabeth chase x female reader #annabeth chase x fem reader #annabeth chase x reader #heroes of olympus #percy jackson x sister reader

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masterhandss · 3 years

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Who do you think katarina will end up with?

Anonymous asked: Who do you ship katarina the most with ?

I got these two questions consecutively, I'm assuming they are coming from the same person so I'll combine them to a single reply, if that's okay.

People who have been following me since the first season can probably tell that I really like Geordo x Katarina (GeoKata) the most out of all ships. At first it was mostly just because I have an unintentional biases towards characters with blonde hair, which is why favorites were GeoKata and MariaKata, but then when I slowly got into the series more, my biases permanently shifted to the G-boy.

I'm not really a fan of laying out why I like certain ships through test to be honest. I usually get super frustrated when zine mods ask contributors to explain why they like a character or ship for contributor spotlight graphics because I can never really say everything I feel correctly hgdsjsdgfj, which is a good thing someone had already asked me a similar question before so I'll just copy paste my response here if that's okay :DD

TLDR; I ship Katarina with Geordo (Maria, Sora and Cezar behind him), and I think Katarina will end up with Geordo :))

You didn't really ask why but I'll give it anyways :)) -> major light novel spoilers, by the way <-

I'm not really the most deep person, if a ship has the bare minimum of something that I like (a trope or a hair color combination) then I stan it hard. That's why I used to be so equally adoring to both Maria and Geordo, because hurrdurr blonde hair hurrdurr. But the more I read the books and got into the community, I eventually liked him more than Maria. I didn't understand how or why at first, since Geordo and Maria are undergoing a very similar character arc: both characters wants to become better people in order to become worthy of Katarina (Geordo emotionally, and Maria physically? magically? in terms of her position/social status? I can't think of a right word but you get it). Again, Maria and Geordo's struggles are similarly written but one of them is more compelling to me. I feel like Maria's problems are easier to solve (her inability to rely on people, her attention seeking and her desire to be more magically powerful) imo, since she's already a well-liked figure in the Ministry and she's already a high-level magic user. Geordo's though; the series doesn't put too much attention on it, but despite the fact that Katarina gave his life color, he still somewhat sees the world in a desaturated light even post-childhood according to the novels and his lack of empathy still prevents him from completely absorbing all the colors. He's still learning how to see and he is happy that Katarina is always there to help him learn how.

I just love the irony that Katarina sees Geordo as a Perfect Prince and feels that she is inferior and unworthy of him, but then Geordo also seems himself as flawed, inferior and unworthy of Katarina and sees her as someone perfect. Geordo constantly wants to be better for Katarina (and for the people around him), and in time, maybe he could become a motivation for Katarina to be better too (on Katarina's side though, because on Geordo's she doesn't have to because she's already perfect the way she is). Geordo, while being self-centered and aggressive in his pursuits, isn't always selfish and thinks about what Katarina wants too. He'd fight tooth and nail for her and will do whatever he can so that Katarina will love him in the same way, but that doesn't mean he wont respect her decision if she falls in love with someone else, he just wont lose without a fight that's all (and fight, he'll give that's for sure).

Geordo is crazy in love with her; wants to protect her happiness, keep her safe whenever he can, and is even willing to both fight to become king and throw away the life he currently knows if it means he can live a life where he and Katarina can be together wherever she is most content and happy. He wouldn't lock her up in the castle like a caged bird like what Keith and some fans of the series thinks, whenever he does have thoughts like that like in Volume 6, its his internal response to the lack time they can have together alone, rather than being indicative of how he wants to treat her (like in his desire in Book of Desires, he conjured up a literal honeymoon because a honeymoon is the only time where he can spend it with her alone without someone butting in! It's weird and exaggerated, but his desire is simply to just be able to spend a day with her and be able to pursue her romantically without the threat of people like Keith and Mary).

Katarina sees him for himself, and she extends her hand of friendship to him despite all her fears of her bad ends involving him. She knows he's a "sadistic prince" but doesn't always tie him to that title. Out of everyone, Katarina has just as bad, if not worse, initial impression of Geordo compared to almost everyone around him (Others sees him as a Perfect Prince while she sees him as a Sadistic Prince and Future Murderer), and yet she accepts him and wants to learn more about him. She supports him and wants him to find happiness in love with Maria, even if it means she'll get exiled to another country or to a far off farm! (i'll edit this with citations later)

I can't help but want that for him, someone who there for you through thick and thin, who supports him despite everything she knows about her future involving him. Katarina is everything he would ever want in a partner: someone who isn't disturbed by his past, can see through his fake smiles, constantly cares for him, sees him beyond his princely façade, is one of his first friends who has helped him create friendships with other as well that prevented him to wallow in isolation and hate of the version of himself that society created for him, is genuinely interested in him as a person, is endlessly fun to be around and unpredictable, and is overall beautiful inside and out.

Again, a lot of Maria and Geordo's struggles are very similar to each other, but I'm more interested in Geordo's side. I find it more compelling. Geordo's scenes always almost provides something new, we get to see him angry, flustered & embarrassed, scheming/conniving, possessive, grateful, sad & frustrated and so much more. Maria has that too (we get to see her sad and thankful), but this might be my own perspective of reading the novels, but Maria's scenes kinda feel the same to me. It almost always starts with Katarina helping her and her realizing time and time again how much she loves her and become more motivated to be a better version of herself. I mean its unfair to say that they are all the same but that might just be me. (Maria: wow I'm so grateful for everything Katarina has given me, I want to be with her forever (rinse and repeat for the next 5 books))

Yes I know it's beautiful to see Maria falling deeper and deeper in love with Maria, but I'd rather see moments of someone who is trying to advance on those feelings rather than someone who is still trying to understand what they feel. Declarations and descriptions of love are beautiful in literary works and it always gets my heart fluttering, but I can read fanfics if I want to see that be written in 8 or more ways. Give me some action, some internal conflict!

It also doesn't help that it makes me really really happy for Geordo that he's made a dent in Katarina's baka shield? Katarina's heart skipped and fluttered for a second when Geordo was patting her head, and it makes me want to root for him even more! (Yes, go break the bubble! You can do it!!)

It's not even the same doki-doki as when she gets charmed at how pretty Maria is, to me its different in a way that my small vocabulary can't explain.

And besides, it really is just a battle between the protagonist that almost ruined her life (Maria) and the love interest that almost ruined her life (Geordo). Keith is part of that equation too, but he was never a threat after they became close (narratively, its seriously just Maria vs Geordo vs Keith, ignoring the changes to that narrative by FL2). It's always about Geordo (and Maria), everything she's doing in the Fortune Lover 1 Arc is because of Geordo (and arguably, Maria & Keith too) and the consequences of where he decides her future to would lead to.

It has to be Geordo, in my opinion, to show her that things aren't the same as the game (and he already kinda has, just a dent though) (If not Geordo, it should be Maria). He, who she feared and yet cared for so much

(I know Fortune Lover 2 basically removes that importance of Geordo and Maria specifically to Katarina's narrative by making her an active problem in all routes, finally becoming loyal to the title "All Routes Lead to Doom", but its not like the story is digging into Katarina's brain that she's sword training for the purpose of fighting back against all the boys, its still just Geordo, so idk I still count that in my shipper brain)

It also also helps that Geordo is basically the poor bullied animal in the hamefura community's eyes, regardless of how far he is into the battle (like in the reddit discord lmao). Yeah he has the best chances which is why many people both in and out of the series find it so fun to drag him under because of his unfair advantage, which is fair, but just like how you feel when you see a small wounded animal, you can't help but want to help someone who has the whole world against him (there's literally a canon manga page with that joke lmao), which is how I eventually felt over time. He's so misunderstood and bullied by people despite the authors dedication to flesh him out more beyond being a possessive prince fiancé of Katarina because of the anime's adaption, so I'd rather give my biases to someone who needs (and deserves it) rather than other contenders who are already overflowing with love and support. Also who doesn't love a perfect guy who breaks when his beloved is harm/who opens up to the person he cares about most?

I know people will read this and find it unfair that Katarina is giving so much to Geordo, but he isn't really giving anything to her. One thing I'll agree that Maria has over Geordo is that Maria makes Katarina want to try and work hard. Seeing Maria improve her magic wants Katarina to do the same, and whether or not it's from motivation or fear of getting left out depends on the reader. So far we don't really have anything like that for Katarina with Geordo because most things involving Geordo intimidates her, compared to Maria who is surrounded by mysteries and adventure (though arguably it's Katarina and not her lmao, but Kat doesn't know that).

Katarina is already the most well-adjusted character in the story even as a child so the only thing to really explore from her is mostly just her relationships and skewed sense of reality. That's why I hope that Geordo will not only help her realize that she can be loved by her peers romantically despite her self-perceived position/role, but also be one of the persons to make her completely realize that she isn't living inside a game. I mean like I said a few paragraphs ago, he's already kinda doing it by constantly confessing his feelings to her, reminding her that he is a person with his own feelings and not a character programmed to fall for a heroine.

So yeah, I ship Katarina with Geordo for those reasons and believe they should end up together for those reasons.

If you ask me who I think would she end up with objectively, I'd still say Geordo. The author's focus jumps between Geordo and Maria so that really depends on who you're asking. It also doesn't help that Geordo is always in the marketing with Katarina in the books and games, which pretty much cements his Male Lead status to Katarina's Female Lead status lmao

Thank you for the ask lmao, I'll be updating this with more thoughts and possibly citations later :))

#mh ask #hamefura #my next life as a villainess all routes lead to doom #my next life as a villainess #geokata #geordo stuart #katarina claes #i want to add more but i'll do it later :))#I just copy pasted this so i'm srry for the typos ;;w;;#bakarina #destruction flag otome

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podcastsaremyjam · 3 years

Text

Podcast Recs!

Sometimes it can be difficult to find new fiction podcasts through the jungle of nonfiction ones. I LOVE finding new podcasts through other people’s recommendation’s, so I figured I’d take advantage of tumblr’s “pin a post” feature to pin a list of my favorite podcasts to the top of my page! Be sure to check out the tags on this post too—I try to be pretty consistent with tagging on this account. I’ll keep updating as I find new podcasts!

Fantasy

The Adventure Zone

If you’re into D&D, you’ve probably at least heard of this one, but it’s definitely worth the hype! TAZ was created by the McElroy brothers who, along with their dad Clint, play D&D together. The whole thing is INCREDIBLY hilarious, but each story really gets more complex and interesting as it goes along. The first “season,” TAZ: Balance is my favorite—classic D&D setting following Magnus, Taako, and Merle as they adventure and a larger mystery slowly unfolds. #adventure #dnd #found family

Unseen

A collection of stories set in the same magical universe by the team who created Wolf359. Each episode has been really interesting, and the worldbuilding is really great! #magic #lgbtq+ rep #mental health

The Two Princes

Rupert and Amir are princes of two kindgoms at war who decide to take destiny into their own hands by pursuing the cause of the curse plaguing their kingdoms. To do so, they will have to create an uneasy truce as they forge deeper into the enchanted forest. This podcast is so lovely. The characters growth is just *chef’s kiss* I just found out that seasons 2 & 3 were released exclusively on Spotify, so guess who’s “to listen” list just got longer? #princes #lgbtq+ rep #prophecy #enemies to lovers

Sci-Fi

Girl in Space

Our narrator (who’s name has not been revealed as of the end of season 1) is a young scientist who’s parents have died, leaving her as the sole living inhabitant of the research station Cavatica. Space seems so vast when you only have yourself to talk to...until it isn’t. One of my all time favs—there is so much depth in the story and characters! #space #research #mental health #grief #space station

Directive

Y’all, this one made me cry the first time I listened to it! The story (in season 1) follows Frank as he works as a caretaker watching over the cryogeniclly stored bodies of people on their way to a space colony. It’s such a poginant exploration of the social bonds we take for granted. #space #mental health

Wolf 359

Told through the audio logs of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel , Wolf 359 follows the crew of the Hephaestus as they monitor the star Wolf 359. If I could only recommend 5 podcasts to someone, this one would definitely make the cut. Each of the characters is so well flashed out as the podcast progresses, and the conversations it has about mental illness are handled so well! #space #mental health #space station

Moonbase Theta Out

Ugh, this podcast is so good! The first season follows the researchers and workers on Moonbase Theta as they prepare for base shutdown. However, with political issues threatening the safety of family planetside and those in charge being suspiciously unwilling to provide information on certain topics, our narrator pushes for answers before he goes into cryogenic stasis. Note—the narrator of season one and his husband are sappy and adorable. I love them so muchhhh. #space #politics #lgbtq+ rep #space station

The Orphans

If you love sci-fi, this is the podcast for you! The Orphans tells the story of a universe full of future technologies and humanity continuing to push forward into unknowns. Each season tells a different story arc set in the same universe, interconnecting and building on past seasons. #technology #space #survival

Burst

An adorable anti-capitalist comedy set in space! #space #aliens #lgbtq+ rep #space station

EOS 10

OMG This podcast always makes me laugh so hard! It follows two doctors, a nurse, and a hypochondriac alien patient as they navigate medical appoinments and daily life on the station EOS 10. Shenagains ensue. #space #medical #lgbtq+ rep #aliens #space station

The Strange Case of the Starship Iris

Hooooo boy! Bring on the found family adventures in space we all deserve! Something here about the Each character is just beautifully written, layered in complexities that start to peel away as we get to know them. #aliens #space #found family #lgbtq+ rep

The Bright Sessions

Therapy session recordings of Dr. Bright’s patients. Only, her patients aren’t there for help with anxiety or depression. They’re there because they’re “atypicals,” people with incredible abilities. I love each of the characters in this podcast, and learning more and more as the plot unfolds!

Horror/Supernatural

The Magnus Archives

I don’t normally listen to horror, but I started listening in the middle of the pandemic and HOO BOY. It did not disappoint! The story follows Jonathan Sims working in the archives at the Magnus Institute, an institute dedicated to gathering information about strange and unusual occurances. Each episode is Jon recording himself reading statements people have given in order to better organize the Archives. Starts off a little slow in terms of Jon’s interaction with other characters, but that aspect starts picking up halfway through season 1. #horror #supernatural #lgbtq+ rep

King Falls AM

Though not as terrifying as the other shows in this section, King Falls AM can definitely be unsettling. The show follows Sammy Stevens and Ben Arnold as they host a late night radio show in the not-so-sleepy town of King Falls. Though newcomer Sammy is skeptical of the town’s reputation for supernatural events, there is definitely more to the town and its inhabitants than meets the eye. #supernatural #mental health #lgbtq+ rep

Welcome to Nightvale

My first ever podcast! You’ve probably already decided if Nightvale is your cup of tea if you’re on my blog, but basically WtNV is a radio show covering events that happen in a town where glowing clouds rain dead animals, a country of tiny people exosts under a bowling lane, and librarians will must not escape the library. Vaguely creepy and definitely weird! #supernatural #lgbtq+ rep

Other

Levar Burton Reads

If you love short stories, definitely check this one out! As the title suggests, the immensely talented Levar Burton selects a different short story for each episode and reads it. His selections span lots of genres, and he’s read stories from some of my favorite authors like Neil Gaiman and Nnedi Okorafor!

Me & AU

This podcast is sooooo cute! It follows Kate as she hyperfocuses on a new show called Selkirk and becomes friends with a fellow Selkirk fan named Ella.

Under Pressure

Follows a doctor of literature aboard a deep sea research station three miles underwater.

36 Questions

A musical three part mini-series about the relationship fallout between a husband and wife after the husband discovers that his wife isn’t who she says she is.

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