#most of these papers aren't even awful!

[sluttylittlewaste]

Since the Hbomberguy video has dragged everyone back into talking about academia, I have a rant:

The take, "Academic papers and academia in general tend toward a writing style that is intentionally inaccessible to maintain standards of ableism and academic elitism" (woke) is not the same statement as, "Because I do not understand this thing about this topic I have never researched at this level before, the work is inaccessible and therefore in Bad Faith™️" (not only broke but fucking wild).

Working as an academic advisor in my senior year, my specialty was helping people with writing. That included reviewing essays and helping with research mostly, as both of my degrees are research and writing intensive. Even with the MANDATORY Introduction to College Writing class freshman were forced into - unless, of course, you either tested well in AP English Language or passed the writing assessment that allowed you to skip the course (which most people didn't) - I often found myself explaining that academic papers are written with the understanding that the reader already possesses some meaningful amount of context. Students would come to me with full confidence just to show a paper reliant on paraphrasing and regurgitating the source text, ended with whatever hand-wavey, unresearched thoughts they had while reading and call it /Analysis/. Thus would begin the long, arduous process of teaching them how to actually research and structure an academic essay from scratch, down to identifying reputable sources and deciding how many is too many quotes.

As such, while it saddens me to see people put off of academic writing (and research as a whole) for the reason of inaccessibility, I get it. Disregarding the prevalence of paywalls blocking credible published works from the public, I'd argue that most papers assigned to studentsr weren't actually written for students. The 25 page article in the well established medical journal is going to be laden with esoterica and intracultural references; it was written for peer review by other professionals in their field with a baseline of pre-requisite knowledge. Similarly, if you're doing independent research and just roll into a random a decades old article you found on Google Scholar, it's likely to be confusing if you have no backgound in the topic. The expectation that anyone can just dive into a research paper written by an expert and immediately grasp the information provided completely misses the fact that learning is an active practice requiring critical thinking and access to reliable resources.

Why does that matter? Because the core facet of research is taking that confusing, inaccessible academic journal or data and /making it make sense/. Taking the time to learn terms you don't recognize, to read ALL OF the provided context, to reword and recontextualize the information to be digestible to an audience without expertise on the topic, that's THE POINT. When an assigment asks for ten sources, it's not for the sake of making you work harder. The entire exercise is to have you compare and contrast things like word choice, historical context, and author bias so you can synthesize your own understanding of the topic. Entire categories of the research and essay writing community exist simply for this goal: to make complex academic literature accessible to general audiences. It's what Internet Historian and Illuminaughti (fuck if I spelled that right) were pretending to do!

There are a lot of valid points to be made in the discussion of academia being inherently inaccessible. Unfortunately the Internet, specifically social media, has a way of boiling actual conversations down to the bare bones of "Is hard and I don't like it, therefore is bad."

(Note: This does not apply to professors/educators assigning a bunch of text without doing any actual teaching. Expecting everyone to be able to read something and just get it isn't a "challenge in critical thinking", it's bad teaching and makes things harder for people who may already find a learning challenging or inaccessible. Do better. )

Is academia filled with conventions that make it widely inaccessible to people from all education levels? Yes.

Do some people write with as many big words or as much autofellating fluff as possible purely for the purpose of sounding smart? YES.

But, as an academic writer and reader myself, and as a person with a bevvy of peers I respect deeply in the field of research, a significant amount of these articles are written in good faith by people who are using the vocabulary they have. The use of "big" words, esoteric references, and hyper-specific language isn't based in the desire for exclusion, but rather clarity for a peer group who are comfortable with the language being used is it's intended context.

Sorry about all this. I just actually enjoy academia when it's about the love of learning rather than being a pissing contest/bitchfest. Ignore me 😭

#academia #critical thinking #research #hbomberguy #academic writing #textual analysis #accessibility #accessibility in academia #rant #essays #education #college writing #what if we focused on ensuring students had the necessary skills to consume complex theory??? #what if we as a society prioritized critical thinking and media literacy???? #what if instead of bullying people who don't even want to pursue higher education to go get degrees we present academia as a fun CHOICE??? #also #professors and educators #you know DAMN WELL that college freshman won't get SHIT from a 50 page reading from a 50 year old academic journal #students need support and resources #most of these papers aren't even awful! #just stop throwing people into the deep end and expecting them to just “figure it out” #that's not teaching babes #that's laziness #and it's why so many people fucking hate school #and for my fellow writers #the difference is knowing your audience #and tailoring your work to their knowledge level

[lunarw0rks]

*groveling on the floor* nice simon

pleeaase anything w big sweet man simon 😭🩵

ugh… you know what's been on my mind lately?? neighbor!au with all my favorite men - but especially simon! here are some of my thots;

he's so... awkward and off-putting. in the sweetest way. like a stray dog that's only allowed to bite you. neighbor!simon, who's the perfect coresident. rarely home, and if he is, you don't even notice! except for those awkward elevator rides...

obviously, simon being the most vehement introvert, does his best to avoid him. but it's a shady apartment building. things happen; maintenance or rowdy visitors blocking the stairway. so sometimes it's easier to suffer thirty seconds of agonizing silence.

there was you. across the hall from the strange, intimidating man. it's difficult not to be frightened, especially when his way of communicating is through grim eye contact, or god forbid a deep sigh when you accidentally bump into him.

neighbor!simon is never upset with you, though. grumpy is merely his default :( for many reasons. but he always feels awful when you give him that anxious look or go out of your way to make space for him in the narrow hall.

it's not every day he meets someone like you, quiet and respectful of his boundaries. let alone live next to. so... he began to make peace his own way. taking advantage of him always being up at dawn; salting the pavement by your patio to ensure your safe commute to work. cleaning up the stack of mail that the courier tossed at your box, tucking it in neatly.

aaaand eventually moves on to more outgoing gestures. knocking on your door, two little taps with his knuckle. asking if you heard "that noise" outside, purely to make sure you were alright. partially his overthinking getting the better of him, also a cheeky move on his part to see your face.

finds a way to learn more about you, even when you're at your most bashful. typically, when he's caught you in your nightclothes, all pampered and ready for bed. next to him, you feel ridiculous, as if he's not wearing the most basic athleisure.

sometimes neighbor!simon will lean against the entrance of the building, watching cars and listening to the city noise. but he isn't out there for fun. in his mind he's waiting on someone; you. when he hears the creak of the rickety door opening, his posture becomes even straighter than usual.

"bloody cold out here, isn't it?" his gruff voice murmurs, breath visible with every word. months ago, the presence would've startled you. but you'd grown used to his very predictable, unpredictable routine of running into you.

you sigh out your words, rubbing your icy fingers together. no gloves, he notices, but doesn't acknowledge. "why aren't you inside, simon? place is pretty cozy if you look past the water damage."

simon scoffs, "i like the cold," he places his hands into his pockets and reaches for the door handle. "y' workin' today, love?" he inquires, despite noticing your work bag slung over your shoulder.

you mutter an unenthusiastic 'yes', exhaustion evident in your features. it's too damn early for you to be out and about, struggling to make ends meet.

he hums to himself as he walks away, waiting until your figure disappears before crossing the street. he's on his way to the nearest shop.

that evening, when you return to your flat with dragging feet, there's no sign of neighbor!simon. out front, out back, or in the hall. only sign of life is the flickering lamp peaking under the gap of his front door. frankly, you're too exhausted to think about it much.

you raise your key to the lock, stepping forward when it gives way. something blocks your foot, nearly sending you tumbling forward. you peer down at the quaint gift box, nearly embarrassed at the tumble it gave you. proves that your post-work tunnel vision is no joke.

curiously, you examine it. no fancy wrapping paper, plain cardboard. and in place of the ribbon is some decorative twine, halfway decently tied into the shape of a bow. with a gentle tug, you release it and take off the lid. the aroma of cardboard is stronger now, as well as a spritz of a very familiar cologne.

gloves; knitted and coordinated to match your winter jacket. you smile to yourself, taking one last look at simon's door behind you, just as he shuts off the lamp for the night, the spotty yellow glow ceasing.

waiting on you to get home safe, no matter how late. of course, there's a price tag on them. he's not that showy, or crafty. anything he'd try to knit would end up a crumpled slab of yarn.

stepping inside your flat, you set your things down on the counter and run your finger over the soft, thick material. you can already picture the relief these will be on your walk, no longer clocking in with stiff, frozen fingers. new winterwear was on your list for months, but you're notoriously bad at gifting yourself nice — basic — things. and apparently, it shows.

the hollow box rattles when you set it down, as do your keys. finally, you slip them on, thinking of all the days you passed your neighbor simon. never knowing how observant he could be, in the sweetest way.

and they're a perfect fit, of course.

#neighbor!simon #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost mw2 #simon ghost x you #simon riley headcanons #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost x you #mw2 #call of duty #task force 141 #mw3 #rachel speaks

[hunnylagoon]

Right Where You Left Me

Pt 2: Jailbird

Ellie Williams x reader

I want to write a poem about you but I’m afraid it won’t be enough. I almost feel ashamed that I want you to fit into a word because we both know that you are beyond anything that can be put on paper.

Premise: You and Ellie were childhood friends before you drifted apart. Funny thing about soulmates is that they tend to find there way back to each other. While you both visit home for winter break, events unfold and it is no longer possible to avoid each other.

Warnings: Angst / homophobia / brief violence / reader has religious issues

Part one here!

Part three here!

Part four here!

I may have been wrong to say that I could never hate Ellie. Fuck she was vicious, in the most passive-aggressive way too. She's so sly about it that I can't even get mad without seeming irrational.

Winter break finally rolled around and I had yet to make any progress with Ellie it was whatever the opposite of progress is. If she wanted to hate me, that was fine, I could do the same, I could be petty. It's now December and all of this bullshit started in September, she could hardly be courteous.

Fuck her.

I had survived mid-terms and finals but the way Ellie was acting had me skipping happily towards the edge. She will wash a whole sink of dishes and leave just my fork, or Venmo request me if I ate one of her grapes. Everything had gotten worse when Dina, Abby, and Cat all left to visit their families for winter break leaving just Ellie and I, without the girls there to hold us to the house rules we were at each other's throats.

She was foaming at the fucking mouth to tear me apart. There was no level-headed Abby or fun-loving Dina, not even Cat who was just mellow. Just me and Ellie verbally abusing each other. "Fuck off, with your wild animal teeth," I spat, slamming the dish cupboard closed with a loud thud.

"Wild animal teeth?" She repeats "Wow, you're getting creative, I'll give you that," Ellie's gaze held a certain bitterness "Heard you were on your knees again last night and I don't mean praying."

My eye almost twitches at her words and it takes everything in me not to throw a ceramic bowl at her. I hated her, I hated her freckled face, and eyes as sharp as knives, just hearing her raspy voice, and seeing her sardonic smile made me want to keel over and let the earth wrap me in her flourishing greenery. I often wanted that to happen. I was trying to refrain from going home as I didn't want to spend the entire break with my family but I was starting to think nothing was better than this, I was set to leave the following day (Christmas Eve) anyway but I was seconds away from grabbing my bag and jumping into my car. "Can you just learn to be fucking civil?"

"Why would-

"Because we were sixteen years old when that stupid shit happened!" I spat "You're holding a grudge from when we were sixteen," I reiterated, searching her features for some sign that I'd gotten through to her.

"It's not like you've changed since any of that happened." She stands, unnervingly calm on the other side of the kitchen island. "You were always awful since we were young, always crying, always emotional, always explosive, my dad said you're like a birch tree, one spark and you burst into flames."

"Fuck off."

"You always had to have the attention," Her eyebrows furrow "Nothing was your fault, blame being fucking erratic and insane on your parents."

"You don't know my parents half as well as you think you do."

"What don't I know about them? They've been in my life as long as you have."

"Ellie, stop," I say, suddenly I'm taken away from the mood to fight, I just want to scream into my pillow.

"What?" She asks "You're going to say some shit like 'they aren't loving'  or 'you wouldn't get it' Please, enlighten me, what wouldn't I get?" She moves closer just an inch or so "Wow, your life sounds so hard, you have two parents who love each other and a huge fucking house, oh shit," Sarcasm drips from her tone "Maybe it's that trust fund that's taking a toll on you."

"Please, stop."

"You could commit every crime known to man and you would still be their pride and joy, there is nothing you could say or do that would make them hate you-

"Here we go with your 'life is so fucking hard and I'm edgy and indie and I have a sad backstory that I'll bring up every second sentence even though I was seven when it happened' " I mock her.

She bites the inside of her cheek and I can tell that I've struck a nerve "You know when my lease-

"Don't even worry about it," I move out from the kitchen and begin towards my room, Ellie's eyes are trailing me "The minute my lease is up, I'm packing my shit and moving into student housing so I won't have to look at your fucking face while I'm eating!" I slam my bedroom door behind me.

I left that night, I couldn't bear the sound of her guitar strums, so repetitive it made me want to slam my head through the drywall.

You better believe that I cried my entire way home while blasting Julien Baker. My mother was pleasantly surprised to see me at her doorstep a day early, I knew Ellie would be coming down sometime tomorrow to spend the Holidays with her family, I didn't know when, I just knew that I didn't want to see her.

I never even told my parents that Ellie was my roommate and they hadn't heard it from Joel as they drifted when Ellie and I were fifteen.

My bedroom was exactly how I left, I cuddled into my twin bed that night sinking into the absolute silence of the the snowfall, with my dog Dusty curled at my side. I always loved the snow, the way it acted as soundproofing for the earth, when I was little I would just sit in the backyard so I could hear the birds sing in their purest and truest form.

Christmas Eve was dull to begin with, to say the least; my mom made Christmas tree-shaped waffles as she did every year, I was then dragged to an excruciatingly long church sermon. When we returned home I was sent to shovel the driveway, turns out visiting home from college doesn't excuse you from chores. I knew Ellie had arrived when I saw her grey sedan in Joel's driveway as well as Tommy's Range Rover. Bundled up in mittens and a hand-knitted scarf that Naomi gave to me I felt really tough giving the middle finger to Ellie wherever she was in Joel's house.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Elijah was cackling in the doorway. Dusty I happily bounding through the snow, paying to mind to my brother.

I immediately dropped my arm, trying to play nonchalantly "Uh, shoveling the driveway?"

His laughter only grew "You look so stupid," He huffed between cackles "You're standing in a foot of snow in the driveway giving Mr. Miller's house the middle finger in your cute little mitts."

"Say that louder, no one could hear you," I say, sarcastically.

"Hear ye, hear ye-

My eyes go wide and I drop the shovel to form a snowball and deck it at my brother "Shut up!"

"Ow!" He flinches, and his track and field hoodie from high school is now covered in powdered sleet. "Whatever," He yanks his hoodie off to shake the snow off of it "Just finish the driveway so we can watch a movie or something, I haven't seen you in months, Naomi and Aaron haven't shut up about you all holiday break."

I give him a mitted thumbs up before I try to speed run the shovelling, albeit slipping on black ice more than a few times. When I came back inside, I needed to change, my parka was dripping with snow that had melted into water.

I bundle up into sweatpants and an old soccer t-shirt. Being in my old room digs up memories pinned on my wall with bright thumbtacks year after year of photos of my soccer team, in every single one Ellie and I have our arms slung over each other. We're smiling wide and not focusing on the camera but on one another. I tear the picture away from the thumbtacks and throw them into a random shoe box that sits at the bottom of my closet. After that, I take down every artifact I have of Ellie, the drawings she made me, drafts of songs we wrote together, and t-shirts she left in my drawers, I throw it all into a Rubbermaid storage bin.

Though I leave the little wood carvings that Joel made for me alone.

My family's famous Christmas Eve dinner rolled around and I couldn't believe how excited I was, I'm not the best cook and despite me and my mother going through spats every other day, she was one hell of a good chef and I had spent months craving her honey roasted carrots and creamy mashed potatoes.

Please don't judge me when I say this, but we are the family that dresses up for dinners at home. Nothing black tie, just something a little dapper, one time I wore jeans to our family dinner and I was grounded for a week.

I finished zipping up my white sundress and I let my little sister tie a matching bow into my hair, when she saw what I was wearing she changed into her white dress which was ankle length while mine fell right above my knees.

"Oh, my sweet girls are matching again," My mom fawns over us "Let me get a picture of this cute little moment," I smile for the picture, and Naomi does the same, hooking an arm around my midriff. "Adorable," Mom looks at the picture before tucking her phone into her pocket "Now girls, please set the table."

Even though I hadn't been at home for months, setting the table was like muscle memory to me, Naomi put the placemats down, and then I did the dinner plate and salad plate, Naomi would place the napkins and cutlery then I would set glasses and pour everyone water from the pitcher. By the time we finished setting the table everyone aside from my mother and Elijah were at the table, early awaiting what was sure to be a filling dinner.

Slowly but surely my mom brought the dishes with Elijah, placing them all through the center of the dining table. After everything was placed my father, who sits at the head of the table cleared his throat, that was his signal for everyone to join hands. "Dear God, We gather today with grateful hearts to thank you for this food before us. We appreciate the effort and resources that have provided us with this nourishment. May this meal sustain our bodies and remind us of the many blessings in our lives. We are thankful for the love of family and friends who surround us and for the abundance we enjoy. Bless this food, our time together, and those who prepared it. May it strengthen us physically and spiritually. This is your body, this is your love. We thank you for feeding us with your gracious hands. In Jesus' name, we give thanks and pray. Amen."

"Amen," My family repeats before we all ravishingly fill our plates with chicken, maple-roasted mushrooms, buttered green beans, bread rolls, and mashed potatoes. I was eating so fast, I was shocked that I didn't spill anything on myself.

"So, have you met any cute boys at college?" My mother asks me, she is the only one eating politely "I'm sure you could get a real smart guy with those looks of yours."

My father nods "Just make sure he's Christian."

"Or catholic," My mother adds.

I laugh awkwardly in response, I take a sip of my water, the condensation making it slippery in my hands. Elijah gives me an odd look that goes unnoticed by my parents.

"I think we should drop off some bread or cookies or something to the Miller's, just something to say hi while Tommy and Maria are still there." My mom tells us, she isn't speaking to anyone in particular.

"Is Ellie there right now?" Aaron asks.

Elijah shrugs "Probably, her car is in the driveway."

Now Naomi is looking at me "We should invite her over for New Year's or something if she's staying for the rest of break."

My dad shakes his head "I don't know if that's a good idea," All eyes fall on him "It's just- I think she's a bit of a bad influence." He takes a swig of his wine and attempts to suppress a burp but fails. I press my lips into a thin line and look down at my plate to hold in my laughter, Elijah does the same beside me.

"I don't remember Ellie being a bad influence," Aaaron furrows his eyebrows, racking his brain to think of a time that she had done their family wrong.

"It's just that there were rumours of her having-" My father searches for the words "Unnatural tendencies I suppose, and I tried to talk to Joel about it but he got defensive and said that she didn't need fixing, that's how I lost my best fishing buddy."

My mom looks at the discomfort on all of her children's faces "I mean, we all need a bit of fixing."

Dad is quick to catch on "Oh, yeah, of course, I mean it's not just Ellie," He fumbles over his words "And it's not her fault that she's that way, I think It's because she lost her mother when she was young so she got confused about the parental roles, Joel never remarried and he didn't date around much so Ellie didn't have a proper mother figure, it's not her fault she's a dyke and there's still time to fix it if she wants to choose the right path."

Stillness falls over the table, I had never heard silence quite this loud. Even my mother is at a loss for words. All of my siblings are darting our eyes at one another, we don't utter a single word but we understand each other clearly 'Dad actually said it'.

He noticed this and tried to backtrack on his words "I'm not a bad guy, I mean we've all read the bible cover to cover, we know it's a sin. I'll wrap this up, you all know that we love you no matter what and all I'm saying is I'm glad we could distance ourselves away from it."

"Hey Dad, did you watch the Canucks game last week?" Elijah swoops in to change the topic. It's too late, a wave of sickness has already overtaken me.

While my family discusses nothing in particular, trying to ignore what Dad said, I am sick to my stomach, I push my plate away and prop my elbow the the table for my hand to support my head. I am nearly shaking. My dull eyes peer across the table and meet my father's drowsy gaze.

"Honey, are you feeling alright?" My mom pauses whatever conversation she is enwrapped in.

I don't respond, I don't know how.

My family's eyes find a resting place on my figure. Mom pushes herself away from her chair and walks over to me, she places one hand between my shoulder blades, the other takes my cold hand and she slowly rubs a circle on my back to comfort me. "Sweetness, whatever is repressed inside, say it, let it out, we're all family."

Naomi nods in agreement, her wide eyes full of concern. "I don't know how to say it," I tell them.

"Air it out," My dad says, finishing off his glass of wine and pouring himself another "Today is the perfect day, tomorrow is the birth of Jesus, a fresh start."

My heart is racing faster than it ever has before, faster than when I broke my wrist in Ellie's backyard or when I had been on a rollercoaster for the first time. "I like girls," I say, my voice is quiet, and my three words take my family with silence. My mother freezes and takes a step back, her comforting hands leaving me.

"You're joking," My dad scoffs "Tell me this is a joke and you're normal."

"I can't," My voice cracks and I can already tell that the tears are oncoming. I think briefly back to Ellie's words 'There is nothing you could say or do that would make them hate you' if only she could see what was about to happen.

"All of those sleepovers with Ellie?" He is disgusted, his face contorting with horror "Were you dating her?"

"no-

"How can I believe anything you say, you lied to us for nineteen years when you knew you were sick."

"Dad, I'm not sick-

"How many sinful acts have you done under this roof?"

"None, I swear," I shake my head, it took less than a minute for me to be filled with regret at my words. I shouldn't have even come home for the holidays, actually, I never should've found Dina's listing and jumped at the deal.

"Get out," Any light tone in my dad's voice is gone, replaced by pure resentment.

"What?"

"You heard me, get out."

"Dad, it's Christmas Eve-

"Get out!" His voice rumbles through the dining room like thunder "I thought we fixed this phase when we sent you to boarding school."

"Please, dad-

"Get up and get out or I'm going to make you,"

"Fine- make me," Tears prick in my eyes but I cross my arms trying to muster up that false coolness Ellie is so good at feigning.

My dad slams his glass down so hard that it shakes the table, and the partially empty wine bottle my parents had been nursing all night is knocked over by the abruption, tipping over the deep red liquor to travel down the tablecloth and drip onto what was once my pure white dress. "Get up!" He grabs a fistful of my hair and I scream from the shock of pain. He yanks me off my chair and my face slams against the hardwood when his arm slumps, impact heavy from the sudden drop, it doesn't take long for my nose to start bleeding. He drags me to the door pushing it open; my siblings don't do anything they're petrified in horror and my mother begins to cry, covering her eyes from the scene before her.

My dad doesn't stop at the door, I thrash on the ground and he pulls me over both of my hands trying to pry his away from the roots of my hair, he drags me into the snow, finally releasing me. I shake as my hand gently finds the way to my burning scalp where I fully believe he has pulled out clumps of my hair with his harsh and unforgiving grasp.

From the doorway the rest of my family watches, Naomi has a hand covering her mouth her doe eyes brimming with tears of her own. My father disappeared into the house, it didn't take long to see what he was doing he slammed the window to make the bedroom open and began to throw all of my belongings out of the window. My pictures, my old soccer uniform, armfuls of clothes from my old beaten dresser, candles, books, paints, and shredded posters were torn straight off my wall.

"Dad, stop, I'm sorry, I'll get better!" I am on my knees, hands clasped together pleading with him. My skin is burning from the contact with the snow, I know that it must be a horrific sight to behold. White sundress, stained with wine, tangled hair, red-tinged skin, puffy eyes and incoherent sobs.

The snow makes everything so quiet the only sound travelling through the night are my sobs. I can no longer see my father in my bedroom, he is coming back down and somehow that is worse, he pushes past my family and throws the presents I was supposed to receive on Christmas morning beside me, I flinch at the movement.

"I'm sorry!" I plead like I'm bargaining with the Grimm Reaper for my life "Give me a job and I'll do it, just tell me what to do to get better!" The screaming carries through the night, alerting the neighbours in what was supposed to be a calm and quiet neighbourhood. Across the street, Joel turns on his porch light, squinting his eyes at the scene on the opposing lawn and trying to make sense of it. "I want to get better!" I shake with every sob. I could hear my dogs barking from the loud noises.

My dad shakes his head "You're too far gone, I didn't raise a fucking dyke," He is almost crying himself, he doesn't mourn for the daughter that he has but the daughter that could've been. The daughter who donned white every Sunday for church and settled down with a nice family man, a daughter who was holy but in this moment I am the purest form of holiness, born again from the violence of my father.

"Dad, I was created in God's image, why would he create his child to be this way if it was so wrong?"

"You're a fucking mistake is what you are," He seethes "Get off my property or I'm calling the cops."

"You still have my bags!" I scream and I watch him retreat to get them "Are you going to do anything at all?" I search my family for any sign of life but they all avert their eyes from mine. My father comes back out, and he throws my purse and suitcase on the lawn, this time both of them hit me, talking about kicking someone when they're down.

My dad begins to usher the family inside "I never want to see you again, get your ass up and start working, I'm not paying for you to fuck around with women instead of getting an education."

"That's it?" I cry "You won't come to my wedding or meet my kids? What about my funeral?"

"Not as long as you're with a woman." With that, he slams the door behind him and locks it. I let out another guttural sob, I've already cried so much that it's beginning to hurt within my stomach. I take a deep and shaky breath in, wiping the tears away from my eyes with my freezing hands, I'm sure to catch hypothermia if I don't warm up. I look up to see my neighbours all around either watching from their window or in the Miller family's case, the front porch. I'm sure that someone has already called the police.

"Let me in, I'm sorry!" I scramble off the ground and begin to bang on the door. Shaking the handle "Let me in!" This goes on for longer than I would've liked, I hammer on the door and scream as loud as I can but they all ignore me. Eventually, I stand by the window and slam my hands on it "Let me in or give me my fucking dog, you can't take care of him!"

I knew I was fucked when I heard sirens. It only made sense for the neighbours to call the cops at this disturbance.

I'm going to do you all a favour and tell you some useful information; when the police arrive and you don't wanna seem guilty, don't try to drive away from the scene because you might just end up getting handcuffed and shoved into the back of a police car for your childhood bestfriends family to watch from their front row seats.

"Prison life isn't for me," I wallow as I press myself against the bars of the holding cell. There are two other women in the cell with me and they both snigger. One of their names is Lucia, and she has bronze skin and brown hair so dark that it almost looks black with gold hoop earrings the size of my head, I don't know the other woman's name but she looks significantly older and has stringy blonde hair, the wrinkles of her face drooping.

"Honey, this isn't prison, you'll live another hour," Lucia sits on the uncomfortable bench, her arms crossed, she's kind of hot to be blunt.

"You reek of liquor though," Blondie cackles and I catch a glimpse of her rotting yellow teeth, what's the opposite of pearly whites? Golden nuggets? Something like that.

"Because I got wine spilled on me," I retort. I had been crying before they even placed me in the cell, wailing so loud that I was annoying the officers. I was so upset and starved for affection that I hugged the officer who detained me, babbling incoherently about how my life was ruined, I don’t even blame them for arresting me, I looked like a crackhead trying to break into a nice suburban home. “I'm not drunk."

"Could've fooled me," Lucia smirks, she's wearing a black tank top and skinny jeans. I wasn't a fan of skinny jeans but she was converting me.

I fell asleep hugging myself on one of the uncomfortable metal benches with chipped blue paint, when I woke up, it was Christmas, even though it didn't feel like it. I saw the snowfall outside of the windows on the other side of the cells. Lucia had told me just before she was released that they had the right to hold you longer over holidays, I wanted to weep all over again.

Blondie got removed from the cell too and I was all alone. The only thing that kept me sane was pretending I was Katniss or Lucy Gray, if they had survived the Hunger Games, I could survive this. I genuinely thought my life was over and I was getting sent to prison for hammering on my dad's door and screaming.

With each hour that ticked by, my profound sense of loneliness only grew. The sounds of distant laughter flitted through the hall and I am reminded of the world that lies beyond the metal bars. I wonder what my family is doing at this moment, every voice that I hear acts as a reminder of the love I had jeopardized. I lost Ellie, I lost Conner, and now I had lost my family.

I think about praying to god for a moment though I discard the thought. If he was real why did he let that happen to me? Maybe forgiveness and redemption were not necessary.

"Crybaby, call someone to pick you up," Officer Reid who initially arrested me and interrogated me began to unlock the cell, "Charges are dismissed." He had been calling me Crybaby since I was stuffed in the back of the police car and wailing uncontrollably.

"Like for real?"

He was in fact, for real. I was brought to a landline phone and my hands acted faster than my head, dialling the number of someone I would trust with my life, I just prayed that the number hadn't changed.

After making my call I was told to go to a weird booth thing to collect my effects, where an old and very judgmental woman dumped my few belongings out of an envelope. I wish I knew the technical names for this stuff but it's not like I've been arrested before this one off occasion. She looked at each of the items, stating what it was while she took inventory of it. "Smartphone, lipgloss, a single gold earring, and a cross necklace," She marks something down and then turns the paper around and holds out a blue pen for me to take "Sign here."

My phone had died already, I was missing an earring, and the cross had failed me, all I had left to rely on was my cover girl lipgloss. I sat in that stark grey room for what seemed like hours, everyone seemed miserable as I am, at least I wasn't the only person having a not-so-merry Christmas.

Holy shit, I was still disgusting. I was sticky and freezing, still in the wine-ruined white dress, there was still dried blood on my face despite my pestering Lucia to help me get it off. My hair is tangled, the bow that my sister had tied in lost somewhere in the snow. I haven't looked in a mirror but I know I look rough from the side glances that everyone is casting me. I can't imagine the dark bags beneath my red, puffy eyes to be any sort of appealing.

The sterile waiting room is beginning to get on my nerves, I flinch at every movement and hold onto hope that every person walking through the door is the person I'm waiting on. I try my best to avert my eyes from the clock so time doesn't drag on any longer than it already is.

By the time Joel gets here, the sun is beginning to set, his eyes frantically search the room until they land on me, I'm already standing up and walking toward him. "Kiddo, are you okay?"

My lip quivers and it feels like every awful thing I've ever felt is going to seep through my teeth. My head falls onto his chest but this time I don't cry, I think I've run out of tears "I have nothing ahead of me."

Joel doesn't ask questions, he just hugs me in return, resting his chin on the top of my head, there is the comfort I had been so desperately searching for.

He signs release papers and he guides me to his red Ford Explorer. When I called him I asked him to bring me shoes as I was barefoot when I was detained, being the number one dad that he was, he brought a reusable grocery store tote bag, containing a hoodie, sneakers, fuzzy socks, sweatpants and a bag of my favourite chips. I slip the sweats on underneath my dress while the hoodie goes overtop, I awkwardly unzip it and shimmy it off, stuffing it into the tote bag.

The drive back to his house begins and he turns on the radio, trying to make lighthearted chatter "Thanks for coming to get me," I say, my voice is quiet and I pull my knees to my chest like as I tend to do when I get nervous "You can just drop me off at my car and I'll be out of your way."

"Sorry, kiddo," He says, eyes focused on the road "You're staying with me tonight, I don't want you driving these roads in the dark and it'll be good for you to have a hot shower and a warm meal, get some sleep somewhere that's not a holding cell."

"It's just that-

"If you still want to leave in the morning that's up to you but you shouldn't end your Christmas alone," Each word seems so genuine "And you know I would gladly have you stay with me three hundred and sixty-five days a year."

I look at him, a soft melancholic smile on my face, "Thank you," I say.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

A sigh falls from my lips "What happened to all of my stuff that was left on the lawn?"

"Tommy and Ellie brought it all inside."

Ellie brought it back inside? Did she actually give a shit or was this something her dad ordered her to do? "Did my dad say anything to you?"

Joel shakes his head "Maria went barging on his door, those two were in a screaming match for a good two minutes before he locked the door on her. Hasn't been outside since, everyone in the neighbourhood has been coming by to ask what happened."

"Even Sharron?" I ask Joel, wrinkling my nose in distaste.

"Even Sharron," He solidifies. Sharron was the grouchy crone of the street, shutting down every party, cussing out teenagers from her porch, and yelling at barking dogs "She said she was worried about you." The windshield wipers painted rhythmic patterns across the glass, clearing a path through the soft snow that continued to fall.

"She's not worried about me, she's worried I'm on drugs and I'll break into her musty home to steal all of her hummels."

Joel huffs a laugh "I can't believe that I used to let her babysit you and Ellie."

"Me neither, you should be paying for my therapy." I tease.

He chuckles at my words, "So you're majoring in wildlife biology?"

"You remembered what I wanted to major in?"

"Of course I did."

"Hey, Mookie!" Tommy wraps his arms around me the moment I set foot in the door. He's called me Mookie since I was a little girl, it started when I couldn't pronounce monkey and thus Mookie was born. "Let me get a good look at you," He pushes me back just the slightest hands clasped on my shoulders "Look at that bruise you've got on your cheek, looking awful tough, like those greasers you used to read about."

"Look at that, Mookie grew up," Maria greets me with a warm smile, pushing Tommy away to hug me "Good to see you made it through prison alive," She jests.

Joel's house is exactly how it was when I left.

The air carried the familiar scent of firewood and lavender incense. In the living room, an inviting fireplace stood as the heart of the home. Its gentle crackle and the dancing flames provided a soothing backdrop to the overstuffed couches adorned with cozy blankets and throw pillows, worn from years of shared family movie nights. A well-loved rug covered the wooden floor, its pattern a mosaic of memories and spills easily forgiven and of course, a coffee table hand-crafted by Joel and intricately carved.

The shelves lining the walls were a treasure trove of family history. Photographs in mismatched frames captured smiling faces frozen in time, chronicling the evolution of Ellie through the years. A collection of well-read books, their spines creased and pages worn, stood proudly, offering a glimpse into the literary adventures that had unfolded within those walls.

The kitchen, the heart of many childhood homes, held the lingering aroma of Christmas dinner. The countertops, scarred from countless meals prepared and shared, were a testament to the love that had gone into creating family dinners. A worn wooden table in the center of the room bore witness to the countless conversations, celebrations, and moments of solace shared over shared meals.

"You know what, when I was around your age, I spent my fair share of time in the cooler, good to see you're taking after me," Tommy winks and gives me a hard pat on the back. Neither of them acknowledges the reason behind last night's events and somehow it feels worse than talking about it.

"We've just finished up making dinner, I'm sure you're hungry," Maria smiles softly, taking my hand into her calloused one.

"Yeah, I'm starving," I smile in return and trail behind the blonde woman to the dining table.

All of the plates are laid out with portions of food on each one, Ellie is sitting alone, spooning mashed potato into her mouth while she texts someone, she glances up at me and offers nothing more than a tight-lipped smile and awkward wave before going back to her phone. Tommy comes by with a tray of garlic butter rolls and uses tongs to add more onto my plate "Don't think I've forgotten how much you love these."

I grin up at him, I'm sitting in the same chair I sat in all those years ago when I Ellie and I would settle down after spending all day in the sun, Joel would ask us what we wanted for dinner and almost every time we would shout hotdogs.

"Good to have you back," Joel nods to me "House always felt a little empty without you."

I always felt a little empty without this house "Good to be back," I smear some mashed potato onto Tommy's famous garlic butter bread rolls.

I feel almost sick with nostalgia as I look around the dining room, Joel still had Ellie's crafts from elementary school hung up and if you look closely, you find little clues that I've left behind; proof that I once existed as a girl beneath this roof. There's a dent in the wall from the time I stood on my chair to catch a spider and accidentally fell over, my head hitting right into the wall, Ellie was laughing too hard to help me.

"So what school do you go to?" Maria asks me, washing down her pot roast with some ice water.

"Northridge actually," At my words, Ellie's head perks up, she's looking dead at me with a look of fear in her eyes.

"Oh, Ellie goes there!" Tommy smiles "She never mentioned that you do too."

Ellie is silently pleading with me, I know she doesn't want me to tell her family that she's been borderline tormenting me as my roommate and sending me to bed with tears in my eyes. I didn't plan on telling them anyway "That's funny, I guess we just keep missing each other."

Joel set up an air mattress in Ellie's room, that's when it became clear to me that he had no idea just how bad the fallout was between us. I hate to say that I missed her room and all of the memories we shared in it.

Ellie's bedroom resembled something of a teen guy who'd never gotten laid before. She had a navy comforter, her shelves were lined with comics and novels, I know for a fact that she'd read every single one of them. Her desk was always a mess, covered in pages of poetry and sketches that she had torn out from her journal. Almost every inch of her walls is covered in posters of bands, movies and her nerdy video games.

I was fresh out of the shower, finally in my clean clothes that I had dug out of my suitcase. I got to charge my phone too, there was an overwhelming number of messages.

D-Manz: HAPPY CHRISTMAS BITCH!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND CAN'T WAIT TO PARTY WHEN WE GET BACK

Jesse: Merry Christmas, hope your day isn’t shit! 😁😁😁

Riley: Merry Christmas! Hope you're having fun at your new school!

Abs: Merry Christmas and stay safe!

Kayla: Missing you girl ☹️ so excited for that staff party!

Kit-Cat: Merry Christmas, don't have too much fun without me

Yara: Merry Christmas ❤️ this probably isn't the time but I was hoping you could send over your notes from the last conservation lecture, just wanna text you before I forget!

566-460-4374: I got your number from Kyle, this is Roderick, I saw you last night and wanted to check up on you, hope everything is okay and merry Christmas.

Lindsey: Hey, haven't talked to you in a while but my parents said some stuff went down, just wanna make sure you're okay.

Ellie: Lmk if you need a ride back to our place

Ellie: Don't know if you can even see this but I got all of your stuff off the lawn, I promise it's safe 👍

Naomi: I'm so sorry

Naomi: I didn't think that would happen

Naomi: I didn't know what to do

Naomi: I love you

Aaron: U good?

Naomi: Please don't hate me, I'm sorry I didn't do anything

Elijah: Sorry but I wish you didn't tell Dad that

Naomi: I'll try to talk to Dad

Elijah: Hope you're safe

Elijah: Call me when you can

Still, there wasn't any word from either of my parents. I replied returning well wishes and assuring everyone that I was okay, I turned my phone onto Do Not Disturb and began to watch the Hunger Games on my phone. The room would've been pitch black if it wasn't for the blue light from my screen and the gentle beams of moonlight gliding through the window.

Ellie walks into the room after she finishes with her shower, she's in sweatpants and an old hoodie that she got from a rodeo, I had the same one, and we bought them together. I glance up at her before looking back at my movie and pulling the quilt further up my body. "You still like the Hunger Games?"

"Yeah," I say, being as brief as possible.

"You should take my bed and I'll sleep on the air mattress," Ellie says while she ties her hair into a low ponytail.

"I'm fine here, thanks."

"Seriously," Ellie is standing awkwardly at the foot of her bed, waiting for me to do something.

I shut my phone off and turned on my other side to face away from her "Just go to bed."

Ellie runs her hands down her face in frustration, she's starting to feel like an asshole "Please take the bed, it's the least I can do." I ignore her so she speaks again "I am begging you," She tells me bluntly "I feel like a dick and it would make me feel better if you just took the bed."

"You are a dick," I answer, she should've seen this response coming from a mile away.

"Please take the bed."

I sit up to look at her, frustration now boiling up inside of me "You're going to be nice now because you feel bad for me?"

"That's not why-

"It is actually," I tell her "This will last for a few days and then we'll go home and you'll be a cunt all over again, fucking keeping a list of everything I lay a finger on so you can say it's my fault if it breaks." She bites the inside of her cheek, that's her tell. Every time she does that I can tell that I've gotten under her skin. "You'll still act like you don't know me and I'm just some weird girl who thinks the world of you, I know what you say to those girls you have over, the walls aren't that thick." My insides ache from all of the screaming and crying of the past couple of days "And I know that I hurt you and I've told you a million times over that I'm sorry, you don't get to start having empathy for me now."

Ellie's silent again, she can't seem to find the words, so instead she slips under the covers of her bed, giving up. Minutes pass us, we've slept in this room together a thousand times but this time it's different, we don't share her queen bed and stay up all night watching the walking dead and talking shit about people at our school, we lay in the uncomfortable silence. We're grown but in this moment I still feel like a child searching for her mother's hand to guide her, I feel like my teeth still need to fall out so brighter, stronger ones can take their place, that the baby fat has yet to shed from my bones.

"I didn't know that you liked girls," Ellie said, breaking the silence "And I shouldn't have assumed that stuff about your parents." I don't respond to her, though she knows that I heard her. "I lied that night when you moved in."

"What?"

"I got all bitchy and said that you don't even cross my mind, I was lying," She's confessing to me as if I'm a priest "There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think about you."

I'm not doing well.

I want nothing more than to crawl into bed next to Ellie and just hug her until I fall asleep but the resentment I've garnered for her these past months refrains me.

"I don't know if you ever knew this, but back in high school I had a bit of a crush on you," She says and my break hitches in my throat "Hey, you there?"

'I don't know if you ever knew this but I turned myself inside out trying not to be in love with you.' I don't say that, instead, I say "Goodnight, Ellie, Merry Christmas."

"Goodnight," She mutters, and like me, she turns her body to face away from me.

I don't feel mature in the slightest, I'm kept awake, haunted by shame and embarrassment. Ellie had seen me only one night prior, on my knees begging for love. We may be cold and calculated to one another now but I remember when she was a little girl who overwatered her plants because she didn't know how to stop giving.

TAG LIST I just tagged whoever wanted a part two: @elliesaesp @yalaysbee @laundrybag29 @readbydayana @elliesaturnsoftdrink @mikellie @melanie-watermelon @skylerwhitwyo

#ellie williams #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x you #the last of us #the last of us ellie #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #abby anderson #tlou #ellie williams x reader fluff #ellie williams angst #ellie williams au #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie tlou #joel and ellie #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #joel miller #ellie williams x reader angst #angst #childhood best friends to lovers #childhood friends

[emeraldborealis]

Things Have To Change

Pairing: Ex-husband John Price x GN!reader

TW//CW: Angst? Kissing, communication, a mutual agreeance to try, forgiveness, apologies, fluff.

A/N: This is the last chapter! What a wild ride this has been to write. I'd like to thank everyone who has reblogged this and everyone who has commented, your kind words have definitely helped keep me motivated on writing this.

Words: 2,373

You are currently reading Chapter 5

The Do-Over Series Masterlist - Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four

It took a week to work up the courage to actually text him, asking if he'd be willing to talk. That you would like to talk.

The knock on your door made you jump, you were rolling in nerves, uncertainty. Your ring was in your pocket, trying to give you strength. If he has decided he doesn't want to try this again after you yelled at him and freaked out, then you'd give him the ring and wish him well.

If he didn't want this you couldn't stand to have the ring anymore. You couldn't have it in your keepsake box anymore. You needed it gone. You needed it and him gone, for good.

Opening the door to him standing there caused a strange ache to start in your chest. He really came back after all the awful things you'd said. He came back, and he's standing here calmly, he isn't here to get even. He isn't here to yell his own nasty things at you. 

"I'm really sorry for the things I said to you. You aren't the one who deserved those words. I see now that the man I was saying those things to isn't you anymore." Your head hung low in shame, your apology more than genuine. 

You felt so awful for the cruelty you inflicted on him. The things you said, though honest in the spur of the moment, were some of the most horrendous, mean words you'd ever said to or about someone. 

You were biting and burning, injecting into him the venom and pain that was tearing you apart from the inside. A fever of built up frustration that needed to break lest you burn yourself out. He should not have been the victim of it all.

"It's alright, love. I more than earned the lashing you gave me." Gently, he tilted your chin up, making you look at him. "Thank you for wanting to talk to me again after what I did. After everything I did." 

"There's things that need to be said, things I need to say not through pain and hurting." Taking his hand you pulled him inside, pausing briefly so he could take off his shoes before leading him to the couch. 

"There's things I'd like to say too." He sat down with you on the couch, a safe distance between you two. 

An awkward silence fell in the room, words failing. There was too much you wanted to say, it was all crowding and trying to push through to your throat, but there was too much, it all got stuck, halting with a choking feeling. 

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I planned seeing you again, sorry I lied about it all again. But I need you to understand why." He broke the silence, starting first.

"Then tell me. Please tell me why, tell me what you see is so salvageable about me, and you, about us. Tell me why you feel we could ever actually work out." You needed to know he really saw you as worth it, saw this as worth it. Worth trying again, worth working things out.

"I was driving, a long drive. I was trying to keep myself awake, and I started thinking about you. I'm always thinking about you. I started thinking about us, everything. I realized that if I put half the energy I did fighting with you into trying to fix things, we probably could have made it." He let the words fall out, pouring from him like a fountain.

His regret was clear to you. You wondered just how long it's been eating him up, scavenging through his tissue, pulling, tearing, swallowing completely. 

Has he felt this way since you handed him those papers in the first place? Or was this remorse for what had transpired more recently? How long has this been stewing in him?

"Do you think we could make it now?" Feeling your pocket you felt the circular shape of your ring, preparing for him to say no. Preparing to hand it back to him right now.

"Yes. I think- No, I know we could make it now if we tried again. I'm not who I was, you're not who you were. We're perfect strangers, strangers who know so much about the other. How to love the other. I still know what you like for breakfast, I still know how you like to make the bed and what side you like to sleep on. I know you still, and I love you still." John took your hand in his, holding it tightly. Holding onto you, if he didn't he felt like you'd disappear. Cast him out again.

He wouldn't let this go again. He couldn't. When you feel the touch of an angel you'll spend the rest of your life trying to feel that grace again. You'll put yourself aside and kneel, kneel till you're worthy of it again. 

John didn't know what he had, not really. Not until he lost it. Not until he could no longer feel that peace of being with you, of having you to return to and fall down at your feet, you who would so happily wash away the feeling of blood on his hands, as long as he'd wash away the loneliness from yours. 

He'd always known you were good together, but he took it for granted. Used your love to feel higher in his position rather than to turn it around and make you feel whole. 

"I've realized you're not someone I can replace. We have a lot of history, good and bad. There's just too much love that still remains for me to ever let you go fully." You squeezed his hand, letting out a fraction of what you really wanted to say.

"I'm sorry, I never let you make decisions, not about where we lived, not about what we did. I'm sorry. I did so much wrong. I did so much wrong to you. I want to fix that. Please, let me try to fix that." John pleaded, he was too in love to let this go. If he couldn't try again he'd never know if he really had changed, if he really was a better person now. 

He was terrified, terrified of the man he used to be. Terrified of never being able to prove he was not him anymore, terrified you'd never get to meet the new him. The man that was made through losing you, made through the love and regret that still remained from what he had with you. 

"I think it would kill me if you didn't know that pieces of me are pieces I've only gotten because of you. I'm everything that I am now because of you. I am only a man now because losing you showed me I was only a fool trying to wear clothes too big for him, trying to fit in with the scum that I never wanted to be like in the first place." Tears welled in his eyes, showing a level of vulnerability to you that he used to feel ashamed about doing.

"It felt like my life started when I met you. But it didn't, it started five years ago when I sent you away. Through letting go of the one thing I loved the most I started to search for why, for what had happened. I started reading books, things that helped me make sense of things, helped me realize that you weren't the only problem." You wiped away his tears with the pad of your thumb, gently holding his face in your hands.

Taking a deep breath you prepared yourself to continue, absentmindedly you began to play with his facial hair, running your fingers through it, letting it help ground you. It brought a soft smile to John's face, leaning into your touch, leaning into something you used to do when you needed comfort. He was still that comfort for you.

"I started to heal, heal all the wrongs that had been done to me, heal all the wrongs I'd done to myself. I corrected behaviors, cut ties with people, I formed boundaries and I found people I enjoyed being around. But you weren't there, you weren't with me. And that felt wrong. I never searched for a replacement, because the truth is there is no replacement for you." Leaning in, you pressed your forehead to his, closing your eyes you took in his smell, it'd changed slightly over the years. But it was still John. It was still the man you vowed to love till death tried to tear you apart.

"You really never tried to go out with someone else?" His voice got deeper when he'd speak quietly, softly. You could feel the timber in it, the small gravel that made his voice rumble. 

"No, I didn't. I couldn't. My life started the day you left, but my heart still knew you. My soul knew it was still tied to you. I've worked hard to make my life into what it needs to be, but a better version of that would still be a life with you. My other half." You pulled your face away from him, looking into his gorgeous blue eyes.

"You mean that? You really want me in your life again?" It was hard for him to believe he really deserved forgiveness. That he deserved another chance at this, despite needing and begging for one so desperately.

"Not again. I want to meet you as you are now. We're not trying this again, we're trying this because we're new people. I don't want to miss out on meeting who you've become, I want you to get to know who I am now. I want us to start something new. I don't want to rekindle what we had. This is new. This is starting new, as we are now." Your hands slid down from his cheeks to his neck, feeling his pulse under your hands, feeling his heartbeat. Feeling that this was real, this was right. This was your John, the one you needed.

"What if we're not compatible as we are now?" He grabbed one of your hands, bringing it back up to his face to kiss your palm, trailing kisses down your wrist. He'd missed this. The feel of your skin against his lips. He never appreciated you the way he should have, he didn't love you right. He didn't worship you enough.

"What if we are? How can we know if we don't try? I don't want to kill the one thing I've been missing because of 'what if'." Pulling your hand away from his lips you fished out the ring from your pocket, presenting it to him. "I lied when I said I wasn't sure if I still had it, it was in my keepsake box. It's part of what I'd try to save from a burning house."

The burning house of your childhood and youth was becoming more of a distant memory everyday, you needed to pull John out, separate him from everything else that was on fire. He was worth pulling out. He was worth saving from burning too.

"I love you. I promise I've pulled my head out of my ass, I promise I can be what you need now. Whatever you need. I'll be good, and I'll show you my love like I should, for all of the times that I never could. I'll make up for all of it." He took your ring from you, dropping it to the floor before he leaned in, kissing your lips tenderly. 

"I know." You kissed him back, finally feeling whole. Finally feeling John complete you the way you both should have felt complete this whole time. 

You thought your relationship had burned and crumbled to ash like a forest fire, that there would be no changing or fixing things. That nothing could ever be okay again between you. That you'd both hurt each other in ways there was no recovery from. That your love would always be a black field that once held dreams and aspirations.

 You were wrong. Just like in nature after a fire the soil had been revitalized, ready to allow new growth to start. To allow new dreams and aspirations to flourish as charcoal turned to lush green.

"You know?" He didn't fully pull away from you, mumbling his question against your lips, sending the vibrations of his voice right through you.

"I have good faith." You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck, leaning your body into his, feeling the way your two bodies moved together, as if you were melding together.

"I suppose that's something." John pulled you impossibly closer, his hands splayed out on your lower back, letting out a deep sigh. This was what he'd been needing. You were all he'd been needing. "I'm never letting you go again. I'm never willingly walking away from you again."

"I don't think we could have ever worked out as we were, I think only through being apart we were able to grow into something that could be good together. I think we needed that growth apart so we can grow together now." You let the words out between kisses, no fears or doubts about this in your head. You now knew what you wanted, what was good for you. You wanted John. Your husband John.

"I watched a documentary of the process of growing trees and bushes into complex structures by weaving the branches together along with support systems as they grew. The process involved choosing structural branches and which branches needed to be cut and removed to better form what was desired, not everything that grew was able to go into the structure, so it was cut away. This is kind of like that." John recounted some details to you, kissing down your neck.

"Of course you did. You and your damn documentaries." Rolling your eyes you chuckled, shaking your head at him. "I'd like to grow with you into something structurally sound, with good supports, something beautiful and alive."

"I'd like that too." Moving up, John kissed your temple, holding your head gently in his hand, closing his eyes and taking you in completely. Taking you in as his, just as he was yours. Things were going to be different this time, things have changed.

Tags: @waiting-so-long @little-laamb @cassiecasluciluce @lothiriel9 @lilpothoscuttings @xxshadowbabexx @nelladowney @harperdoodle @its-me-mila @v1x3n @izziyuwh @reelovesfictionalmen

#x reader #oneshot #reader insert #gender neutral reader #cod fandom #cod #angst #cod fanfic #john price #john price cod #captain john price #captain price #captain johnathan price #john price x reader #captain john price x reader

[weirdmarioenemies]

I am going to rank all of the Super Mario Galaxies and none of you can stop me

That's right! I'm ranking all of them! All ninety-one of these things! Hi, I'm Mod Hooligon, and you may recognize me as "the mod that posted about Super Paper Mario a lot", but did you know? The Super Mario Galaxy games are maybe my actual favorite Mario games! In fact, I've never even beaten Super Paper Mario! I'm a fraud! But I'm a cute fraud, right?

But I'm not a fraud when it comes to Super Mario Galaxy, because I've 100%'d both games, and have replayed them multiple times over! And when you play some games that much, you start to have opinions. And then you want to subject everyone else to your opinions! So that's what I'm gonna do.

This is gonna be a little Weirdmarioenemies mini-series I run outside of our usual posting schedule, so expect a new part of this list every Sunday, until there's no Galaxies left to cover. Today we'll be tackling all the low-tier Galaxies, because there's not enough of them to warrant making three separate posts for F-tier, D-tier, and C-tier.

Got that? Good. Rankings start under the cut!

91. Sling Pod Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: F

Well, something had to be the worst. If you are an ardent Sling Pod Galaxy fan, I am so, so sorry. Let it be known that you are entitled to your own opinion, and that I understand.

But I'm also entitled to my own opinion and my opinion is that Sling Pod Galaxy is Not Very Good! Really, not a lot of the Hungry Luma galaxies from the first game are, we're gonna be covering most of them in this post...

The Sling Pods aren't an awful gimmick in and of themselves, it can be fun to slingshot Mario around, and they're used to great effect in the Tarantox boss fight! But I feel like they can be a bit imprecise, and nowhere does that show more than in Sling Pod Galaxy, where you're required to fling Mario from Sling Pod to Sling Pod with precise timing, and not a lot of wiggle room.

If your aim or timing is just slightly off (and let's face it, it uses motion controls, so it's probably going to be) then you're gonna sling Mario right into the void. There's a cool concept here, but at the end of the day, I'll always find Sling Pod Galaxy more frustrating than fun.

And besides that, it's just not very thematically interesting! It's kinda just cobbled together out of miscellaneous assets, but doesn't manage to make it feel like a Theme the way Space Junk Galaxy does.

90. Snow Cap Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: F

Oh look, another Hungry Luma Galaxy! That didn't take long at all.

I feel like most people wouldn't consider the bunny chases the highlights of the Super Mario Galaxy games, and Snow Cap Galaxy is a galaxy that makes you chase three bunnies, all of which start the mission hidden, under a pretty strict time limit. There's a small chamber you can open that you can chase the bunnies into, but in order to open it, you need to activate a number of Flipswitches, most of which are hidden in the snow, which you need to use your cursor to clear out...

I feel like this mission asks too much of you in too little time, and ends up being another one that ends up more frustrating than fun, especially with how inconsistent chasing down the bunnies can actually be! That being said, I'll give it the edge over Sling Pod, since I think it's at least a little more aesthetically interesting. Bunnies hiding in the snow! It's cute.

89. Stone Cyclone Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: F

If the Hungry Lumas have the worst galaxies in the first game, then World S has some of the worst in the second. I wouldn't say the track record is nearly as bad, I think Super Mario Galaxy 2's quality is much more consistent all around, but that didn't manage to save Stone Cyclone from escaping the bottom tier...

I like a good challenge, but I like a good challenge, and I don't know if I'd consider Stone Cyclone Galaxy good. It's a repeat of the Stone Cyclone planet from the first game (which I do like!), but with all the Tox Boxes, Thwomps, and moving platforms moving 4 times faster. You're given switches that can temporarily slow everything down, and make everything much more manageable, but since it's all temporary, you better be able to manage the faster version once the timer's up!

I don't know, there's a cool concept here, but I feel everything moves so fast when time isn't slowed down, that making jumps between the moving platforms in particular can be really difficult. And when the Tox Boxes are moving faster than you do, sometimes it feels like there's not much room to move without getting squished soon after!

88. Flipswitch Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Yep! Stone Cyclone was the last of the bottom-tiers. Again, there's not really a lot of galaxies in these games I don't like. Now we're at the "I don't necessarily hate them, but also find them kind of pointless" tier!

And no Galaxy feels more pointless to me than Flipswitch Galaxy, which is honestly kind of a joke. Flipswitch Galaxy is One planet. That's right, you get one! This is an entire Galaxy that could easily be a mission in another Galaxy, and even that's being generous. This is a stopgap between two planets in a cooler, more elaborate Galaxy.

Flipswitch Galaxy isn't really frustrating at all, it's probably one of the easiest missions in the entire game, but it's so short and so pointless, that I just wish they did a little more with it, you know? Add a couple more planets, let things escalate a little more, I know you want to keep it easy because of how early in the game it is, but if Flip-Swap Galaxy is any indication, you can do a breezy early-game gimmick galaxy much better than this!

87. Bigmouth Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Okay, quick question, how many of you have beaten Bigmouth Galaxy the intended way? I genuinely didn't know until a pretty recent playthrough that there even were Star Chips in this Galaxy. I always just used gravity shenanigans to jump from the top of pool to the other! I thought that's what you were supposed to do, and that the jump was just a little annoying to get right! I'm not sure if I've even ever done this mission the intended way. The jump is just way quicker.

Bigmouth Galaxy is pretty whatever. It sure does exist! I think it's funny that this is a Hungry Luma Galaxy, but Penguru says he likes to come here frequently just to think. He's been a frequent here ever since the galaxy was born five minutes ago!

What do you want me to say about Bigmouth Galaxy. It's a shorter, easier, more mediocre version of Slimy Spring Galaxy, I guess.

86. Drip Drop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

I'm just not giving these Hungry Luma galaxies a break, am I? Don't worry Hungry Lumas, you'll do better in Super Mario Galaxy 2.

Anyway, Drip Drop Galaxy is a single planet where you kill a few Gringills with shells, and that's really it. The underwater controls in this game can feel a little janky, so aiming the shells can be a little frustrating, but it's not especially hard, especially if you can find the Red Shells, which retain their homing ability from Mario Kart.

Pretty unremarkable, not especially fun, but I don't dread it the way I do some others, so that's a plus. Apparently this is where Penguru lives.

85. Bowser Jr.'s Lava Reactor

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Wrapping up the D-tiers, we have Bowser Jr.'s Lava Reactor, the most forgettable of the Bowser and Bowser Jr. stages. King Kaliente is a cool boss and all, and I think the sinking lava platforms are a cool shakeup to his fight, but for the final boss of the fifth dome, you kinda think they'd do a bit more, right?

There's not really a lot of buildup to the boss, and the boss itself isn't all that difficult, which makes this mission feel pretty underwhelming. I'm curious if I'd put this higher if it weren't one of the Bowser Jr. stages. My stance is "probably, but not by too much". There's not a lot going on in this galaxy.

84. Boo's Boneyard Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

I don't know what it says that this is one of the better Hungry Luma galaxies from the first game.

Let's talk positives first! I think it's cool that they give you a rematch against the Spooky Speedster, and I like that it shakes things up so much. The idea of you getting the Boo Mushroom to become more "equal" with the Spooky Speedster is cool, and I like that they further differentiate things by making it a 2D level. That's all pretty cool!

It's just that... I think this mission is really easy. The Spooky Speedster isn't really all that speedy here, and unlike the shortcut during the first race which you kinda have to go out of your way for, this time it's in plain sight, and not hard to reach at all. Besides that, I just don't think the Boo Mushroom is an especially fun powerup to use in a Race. It's a good powerup, make no mistake, but in the context of a race, it feels pretty sluggish...

83. Loopdeeloop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Super Mario Galaxy has a handful of motion-control based minigames, and of the bunch, I think the ray surfing is my least favorite. I don't hate it, I kinda like how wild riding the waves can feel, but at the same time, that wildness combined with the motion controls can make it feel at times like you don't have a lot of control over where you're going, you know?

Loopdeeloop Galaxy is the galaxy that introduces this minigame, and it's fine. I generally prefer its more challenging variant (which we'll see later, but not too much later), but this works well enough as an introduction. It's just kind of a basic version of a minigame I'm not that big a fan of, there's not a lot to say about Loopdeeloop Galaxy.

82. Honeyclimb Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

As far as single-mission gimmick galaxies go, this one is alright. I like the use of Mandibugs and Meteors to spice things up. Unlike something like the Flipswitch Galaxy, this has a pretty solid sense of escalation, which I like!

That being said, it's still pretty basic, climbing honey walls isn't exactly the most exciting gimmick in the world, so I'm not gonna be that huge on a galaxy built completely around it. I guess the focus on the honey climbing lets it feel a bit more distinct from the other Bee Mushroom galaxies, but it's also easily the weakest of the Bee Mushroom galaxies, so I'm not sure if that's a good thing...

I feel like I don't have much to say about any of these mid-tier Galaxies. Sorry.

81. Grand Finale Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Of all the galaxy rankings, I feel like this is one of the ones I feel the least certain about. Part of me feels it should be lower, part of me thinks putting it lower would be unfair, so instead it ends up here!

From a gameplay perspective, Grand Finale Galaxy is not really that interesting at all. There's no challenge, you just grab the Purple Coins, which are all just out there in the open, and that's really it! That's the star! I don't even know if you can die in this galaxy at all.

But like, that feels like the wrong way to assess this galaxy, because it's not meant to be a challenge in the slightest, it's meant to be this nice little reward you get for getting 100% in this game. You beat the game twice over already, so get to enjoy the Star Festival without Bowser rudely interrupting! Get to spend a little more time with all the characters you've met on your journey before being done with the game for good, it's here as a nice little bonus.

That being said, as a Grand Finale, I feel it sort of lacks... grandeur? I dunno. It's cute as a nice little goodbye, but part of me feels they could've done a little more with it.

Don't ask me what! I'm not a game designer, I'm just some autistic girl on the internet talking about a 16 year old video game! Leave me alone!

80. Mario Squared Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

I'll give Mario Squared Galaxy this: it has one of the best names of any galaxy across these games, and that gotta count for something.

Mario Squared is pretty much just a reused planet from Toy Time Galaxy in the first game, just with the rotating squares swapped out for Flipswitches. And I mean hey, if you're gonna reuse content from any galaxy, Toy Time is a pretty good pick. but also the very nature of being reused content means I'm bumping it down a bit, because eh! We've already seen this before! I don't need a galaxy to be a small part of a better galaxy!

I'm pretty sure this galaxy solely exists so they could bring back the infamous Luigi's Purple Coins mission in Super Mario Galaxy 2, which I guess is fair. That mission is difficult, but it is fun, and I like the twists they add in this game (like the Cosmic Clones, and the fact you have to grab all of them this time)! Fun way to create a new take on one of the first game's most challenging missions.

...But can I really rate a galaxy that highly for redoing something another Galaxy already did? I don't know if I can give Mario Squared Galaxy a super high grade for copying Toy Time Galaxy's homework and changing it a little.

I think it's funny that the objective of this mission is to turn all the blue Flipswitches yellow, so it looks like Mario's SMB1 sprite, but once all the Flipswitches are activated, they all turn green, making the whole thing feel kinda pointless. This is fine because green is a better color than yellow anyway.

79. Hurry-Scurry Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Another one of those short gimmick galaxies with only one mission. I think building a galaxy around these disappearing panels is a pretty fun idea. Once you stand on one of them, it's gone forever, so you have to plan your route carefully, but don't spend too much time planning, because all the ground is disappearing panels. It creates a fun dynamic, that's true to the galaxy's name! There's a solid chance your route will be a little off, so you might have to make some big leaps to grab notes you may have missed. It's cool, I like it!

But not like, that much. It's still a pretty small galaxy all things considered. This one gets a little buildup before the end, which is nice, but it's not much buildup, so the whole experience ends up feeling a little short.

Not helping is the fact they repeat this mission later in the game, but more challenging, and in a galaxy that has other things going on. That does subtract from Hurry-Scurry Galaxy a bit, I feel.

78. Sand Spiral Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

I know I've mentioned multiple times in this post how mediocre the Hungry Luma galaxies in the first game are, but for emphasis: this is the second best one, and it's in C-Tier. Don't feel too bad, Sand Spiral Galaxy. You'll still outshine most of your siblings at the family reunion. At least if you're ignoring those pesky Super Mario Galaxy 2 Hungry Luma galaxies.

This Galaxy gives you a choice between the Bee Mushroom and the Boo Mushroom, and I pretty much always pick the Boo Mushroom I'm pretty sure. There's obstacles for both on the way, so it's not like one's strictly "better" than the other, but I always appreciate the extra control the Boo Mushroom gives me here. After a short tunnel, you lose your powerup, are sent to a spiral planet spinning around a moon, where you grab a Rainbow Star and run through some mines to grab the Star at the end.

It's a pretty short mission that doesn't really feel like it knows what it wants to do, but at the very least, I appreciate that it gives you multiple options, the visual at the end is pretty striking, and making big jumps during the spiral as a Speedrun Strat can be pretty satisfying.

77. Boss Blitz Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

If you couldn't tell already, a lot of World S in Super Mario Galaxy 2 is reused content, and that's a lot of why these galaxies are scoring so low. Boss Blitz Galaxy is a string of five boss fights from the first game in a row, which I guess makes it a bit interesting in the context of the sequel, given none of these bosses show up in the main quest, so if this is your only Super Mario Galaxy game, you kinda gotta figure them all out on the fly.

Thankfully, most of these boss fights are still pretty fun, though again, they're all reused so you're not really getting much new here. The timer challenge is sort of teetering on the edge between being "challenging in a frustrating way" and "challenging in a fun way" for me. Speedrunning all the boss fights can be really fun, but none of them really have shortcuts the way the bosses in say, Super Mario Odyssey do, and some of the RNG in the Bouldergeist fight can make the challenge feel a bit inconsistent (even if that IS the best of the bosses), so sometimes your pace feels a bit out of your control.

It also feels weird to have both Dino Piranha and Fiery Dino Piranha, it's kinda redundant, though I do like having them as the bookends, I guess.

76. Twisty Trials Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

Woah, reusing content from Super Mario Sunshine now? Slow down, World S!

For what it's worth, reusing Sunshine content is a bit more interesting than reusing Galaxy content, because it's a different game with different controls and different physics and whatnot. Still, it's not like Twisty Trials Galaxy is that interesting. It's a series of progressively more difficult rotating platforms that you have to keep your balance on, and that's really it, though I do like the comet challenge where they move twice as fast, and you have to use the Cloud Flower to keep on pace. That's pretty neat.

I wish they kept the music from Sunshine. I like the weird a capella version of the Super Mario Bros. Overworld theme way more than Super Mario 2007.

75. Loopdeeswoop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

"The Galaxy's Greatest Wave". I mean, there's only two ray surfing galaxies across both games, this one and Loopdeeloop, so is there really that much competition?

That being said, yeah, I like this more challenging version. I know that the ray surfing minigame still isn't really my favorite (it's in C-tier for a reason!) but having a more difficult course I think brings out some of the best aspects, like how wild it feels to control! And also some of the worst aspects, like how wild it feels to control! It's still as much of a double-edged sword as ever, just a bit more extreme due to the more extreme course.

That being said, since it's more challenging, that makes finishing it feel a lot more satisfying, and I'd never say it really feels unfair. Sure, falling off can be frustrating given how difficult it can be to control, but when it's all done, I end up feeling more "yeah, I did it :D" than "oh thank god that's over with", which I think is the important distinction between an F-tier and a C-tier.

Don't take that as meaning I'm in love with this galaxy, though. It's still here for a reason.

74. Bonefin Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

The cooler Drip Drop Galaxy.

That's really pretty much all this one is, it's Drip Drop Galaxy again but this time it's a boss fight, and it's a bit more exciting because of it. Heck, you need to beat Drip Drop Galaxy to unlock this one, so the resemblance isn't unintentional!

Since it's pretty much Drip Drop Galaxy again, it suffers a lot of the same issues that Galaxy has, but I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't get boosted a lot from the Style Points, though I also think having a single large target to hit ends up feeling a lot better than several smaller targets. Aiming your shells feels a lot easier, but since it's a boss fight, there's also a better sense of escalation here.

Still, it's pretty much just the boss fight, and I mean, being a slightly better version of a D-tier Galaxy isn't exactly something I'll sing my highest praises about. If nothing else, at least it has a killer atmosphere.

73. Sea Slide Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Wrapping up the C-tier is Sea Slide Galaxy, the worst of the "big" Galaxies from the first game. To quote myself from earlier in the same post, "Well, something had to be the worst." But also not quite like that since it's nowhere near as bad.

The biggest issue with Sea Slide Galaxy is there's really not an awful lot of diversity in its missions. Of the six missions here, three of them are basically "swim in a loop around the galaxy," just with slightly different distances. The Silver Star mission, thankfully, fares a lot better, as does the Improved Version of Hurry-Scurry Galaxy (here it is!) but the last of the missions is one of the boring Purple Coin missions. Mod Hooligon's Tip: If you start a Purple Coin mission and it doesn't have this banger, I'm Sorry.

The galaxy definitely has a unique layout, but there's not really much to do in the water besides swim in a circle, since every mission that doesn't involve swimming in a circle usually has you ignoring the water outright. Would this galaxy be better if it had more swimming? I dunno. As stated, the underwater controls in this game can be a bit finnicky, so maybe I should be glad it's either swim in a circle or don't swim at all.

And that's it for today's post! Do you agree with my opinions? Do you disagree? If you're a Sling Pod Galaxy fan, make some noise!

And if you're looking for the B-Tier galaxies, you're in luck, because you can find those here!

#super mario galaxy #super mario galaxy 2 #mod hooligon

[lawrites]

Rubens Can Suck It!!

Sweet Gotham S1! Edward Nygma x Plus Size! Female Reader

You are having an awful day when someone leaves a note on your desk, describing your figure. It sets you off, and Ed is the one who seeks to comfort you.

This fic features a LOT of insecurities, specifically around being plus size. It talks about the feeling of being seen by others and how shitty some officers at the GCPD are. But Ed is sweet. No warnings beyond that EXCEPT some dirty thoughts from Ed 👀.

It's been an awful morning and it's only 8 AM.

As a woman who works in a field primarily made up of men, especially a plus size woman, you have made your confidence into your armor. Yeah some of the officers could be pigs, (most of them, actually), but you do love your body and how it looks, so it doesn't bother you.

You enjoy wearing bold colors, pretty dresses, structured pant suits, and even pencil skirts to work most days. They make you feel infallible, and you KNOW you look cute in them. No matter what those tiny men say, you can get through the day feeling good.

And usually...it works. There are some days that you think everyone struggles with their looks, no matter their size. It's what happens when your society is constantly screaming "YOU CAN BE BETTER BUY THIS PRODUCT" at you from all angles.

And so, while you are beating yourself up for letting your confidence slip, you decide to go ahead and make yourself more comfortable while you get it back. Especially because trying to force it wasn't working.

Every glance in the mirror was followed by a critical voice, today. Your hair just didn't sit right, your chosen outfit was too tight and the textures were bothering you, and the high heels you sometimes wear would clack and bring eyes to you. All of that sounded just...exhausting, especially when you just want to get through the day and go home without drawing any attention to yourself.

While usually a pair of eyes on you wouldn't bother you, the thought of Harvey Bullock only staring at your tits when he talks to you, or Jim glancing up and down in what he thinks is a subtle way, or any of the officers giggling when you walk by...yeah it would take only one thing to set you off today, you can tell.

So, while it isn't the most flattering outfit you own, you throw your hair into a ponytail and pull an oversized sweater and linen pants on. Comfy, cozy, still professional enough, and properly disguising your body from any eyes, appreciative or insulting.

After that rollercoaster of emotions while you were getting ready, you don't have time to stop for coffee on your way in, which just adds to your mood. And, of fucking course, some guy decided to begin terrorizing Gotham at 7 in the fucking morning, so all public transport is delayed.

You barely manage to get to your desk by 8 AM with no coffee and already in a bad mood. Setting your stuff down, you dig your palms into your eyes, trying to fight off the urge to just leave. A small slip of paper in neat handwriting makes you smile just a bit, though.

What is always found on the ground

But never gets dirty?

You struggle for a second, your brain moving at a slow pace thanks to the lack of coffee. That is, until you hear footsteps and something blocks the lights streaming in from the windows. You gasp and turn towards Edward Nygma, who is standing right next to you and casting a...

"Shadow!" You blurt out.

He gives you one of his sweet, tight-lipped smiles and nods. "Correct!"

You force a cheery tone to your voice so you don't spoil his mood. Ed may be a bit...odd, but he is one of your best friends here, and he doesn't deserve to be brought down just because you aren't in a good mood. "Great! How many is that so far, Eddie?"

He immediately recites, "That would be 85 riddles correctly guessed out of 90 I have shared with you. 3 you needed a hint for and 2 you did not solve entirely."

You cross your arms in mock anger. "Hey! I did my best! Those ones were hard. It's almost like you wanted me to fail or something."

He hurriedly scrambles to get the next sentence out, "Oh! Oh I would n-never! I j-just..."

Whoops, guess your bad mood made that "mock" anger sound more like actual anger. You take on a placating tone, "Ed, it's ok! I know you just enjoy riddles. And sometimes that big brain of yours makes up a new one that stumps me."

You laugh, maybe a bit bitterly, now, as your bad mood forces itself to the front again. The next sentence is nearly mumbled, "I mean, it must be difficult, sometimes, making puzzles for someone who isn't as smart as you."

Ed seems confused more than anything, now. "I'm...I'm not sure what brought that on, but writing down riddles for you every morning is f-fun for me!"

You sigh, twirling a pen from your desk in your hand to avoid eye contact. "It's just...it's just one of those days, Ed. I couldn't find an outfit that made me look nice..."

Ed interrupts you with his insistence, but he still stumbles over his words, "B-but you always look n-nice!"

Your smile comes out as a grimace, "You're sweet, Ed, but everyone doesn't think so." You glance around to make sure that your next words aren't overheard. "I know that I can usually brush cruel insults away, because I try to tell myself I'm beautiful..." You choke out the last part of your sentence, cutting yourself off before you get too emotional in the middle of the office.

You get up and decide to leave the main lobby to get some of the shitty coffee from the break room. At least there you could better disguise the tears in your eyes. "It's really not a big deal, Ed. I guess I'm just not myself, today. Give it a day or two and I'll be more amusing."

And without waiting for a response, you hurry off.

He stands there awkwardly for a few moments, unsure how to respond to the dismissal you just gave him. Usually the two of you would talk for at least 5 more minutes.

Wracking his brain as he walks away, he tries to think of something to cheer you up.

-----------------------------------------

Rubens

Flashes of his paintings fly through Ed's mind as he attempts to type out a sweet note to you. Every time he gets a glance of a plush thigh or your soft belly, he thinks of how he painted Venus, the Goddess of Beauty.

A voice he's been trying to avoid for a while now pipes up, Yeah, Goddess of only beauty? I'm sure that's all you're thinking about, Ed. How about Goddess of Se-

Ed cuts the voice off before it can finish that thought, but now he is unfortunately thinking about it, even at work. Rubens didn't paint all of his women clothed, especially Venus. Her nude form fuses with yours in Ed's mind, haunting him, taunting him.

There's just...so much he can play with. Your body...so much he can sink his long fingers into. He goes back to your belly, what he has ascertained to be the main source of your insecurity. He empathizes with that, but all he can think of whenever you wear something tight is bending you over in the medical lab on site and holding onto that plush belly as he-

Again, he cuts himself off. He would like to think that the other voice took over again there, but those thoughts were all him. He adjusts himself a bit as he sits at his desk, trying to be subtle.

Then he looks back at the screen in front of him, remembering your mood today, and that hits him like a bucket of cold water. He curses the tears in your eyes from old insecurities popping up again. He has seen you become more and more confident in your time at the GCPD, learning to ignore the pigs that giggle at everything that isn't "normal" to them.

Ed knows that feeling, and especially the taunts from those cops, well. He's off, to them. He never quite knows when to start or end a conversation, and he injects his interests even when he knows people are tired of them.

And that's why he likes (loves) you. You always smile and try with his riddles. You even continue to talk to him after, and are interested in who he is outside of work! That's rare. And if he could return that joy you have given him every day, it would be worth it for the possibility of you figuring out his true thoughts.

Unfortunately, while he has a mind for riddles, analytics, and all things mathematical, he has not been as blessed with poetry. So he wants to type this out...if nothing else than to keep you from feeling like you owe him something.

He types and deletes and types and deletes, looks at the clock, drums his fingers on the desk, and then types slowly this time. Reading it over, he nods at what he has written. It's not amazing, but he hopes it will make you feel like there are people in the office that are on your side, maybe even a secret admirer.

-------------------------------------

And now you're soaking wet. You just wanted to escape your desk and get a simple sandwich and the sky decided that it was a perfect time to begin a deluge right before you got back to the GCPD building. Why? God hates you, apparently. There's no other explanation that would satisfy your overdramatic mind at this point in time.

Luckily you managed to keep your precious food dry by stuffing it under your coat, but the rest of you is definitely not so lucky. You huff and start towards your desk. Bullock sees you on the way, starts a sentence of some sort, (most likely to quip at your condition), but the glare you send his way shuts him up immediately.

You end up collapsing at your desk and peeling off your outer coat, feeling the air conditioning of the building start to combine with your wet clothes to make a chill seep into your bones. Trying to ignore it but unable to suppress a shiver, you place your food on your desk...wait...is that? It is! Someone left a little typed note to you under the bag.

You pick up the note, giving it a quick glance to see if there was anything to connect it to someone. There are no initials or name...hmmm.

Your eyes read over the words on the page once...twice. And your heart shatters. How could...why would...how could someone be so heartless that they would taunt you today of all days?

There is a group of those rude, awful officers that like to congregate together around the water cooler, gossiping and laughing at anyone who wasn't them. But right now, one of them is talking while looking directly at you, and when he stops he throws his head back in laughter, with the rest following.

Holding back a sob, you crumple the letter in your hand and get out of the room as fast as you can without running. As soon as you are out of their sight, tears start streaming down your face and you run to a nearby empty room. It doesn't even matter what it is, you just care that it's empty and safe and lock the door behind you, collapsing against a wall and trying to catch your breath as you gasp for air.

You hold that position for only about 30 seconds, trying to muffle your sobs so they couldn't be heard by anyone outside, but apparently you weren't quiet enough. A quiet knock sounds on the door.

Tap tap tap

You do your best to school your voice, but it still comes out shaky as you reply "Please find another room."

But the voice that filters through the door is one you recognize well.

"Y-you looked cold, so I brought you an emergency blanket. Oh! And a-also your lunch."

You let out a sob, unable to stifle it. "T-thank you, Ed." And you walk over to the door to unlock it, opening it just a tad so he can't see your state.

But Ed is observant, and even with what little you present to him, he can see you are massively upset. Your eyes are bloodshot, and you are trembling, whether from the cold or from your current emotions, that he can't tell. He tries his best to gather some courage.

"W-would you mind if I sat with you for l-lunch?" He holds up your bag of food and you notice that his own lunch is clasped in his hand behind it.

Quickly, you try to consider if you are ready to fully cry in front of Ed, but his kind, if nervous, smile and his own insistence on joining you made you certain that he wouldn't be too judgemental.

You turn your head to the side to try and hide it a bit more as you step back to open the door. Your arm sweeps over to gesture to where you were sitting. "Be my guest, Mr. Nygma."

This makes him let out a nervous chuckle, but he enters anyway. You close the door behind him and lock it.

"I hope you don't mind, I just don't want anyone to see me...well..."

He nods, "That is perfectly understandable."

You both stand awkwardly for a few moments, but you eventually feel the floor calling to you again, so you nestle against the wall where you previously had collapsed. Ed slowly settles down at a respectable distance from you, his gangly limbs shuffling until he finds a comfortable position.

When he hands you your bag of food, he decides it's better to talk about what happened than sit in silence. "M-may I ask why you are upset?" You glance at him, and your eyes start to fill with tears again. He hurriedly starts to stutter through another sentence, "Oh! B-but if you p-prefer not to talk about it, t-that's ok!"

You shake your head, glancing down at the floor. "I just...I guess people like to take advantage of you when you're down sometimes, Ed."

You sigh, but begin feeling more angry than sad. "I mean, I've been in a bad mood all day, I got rained on when I was just trying to get some food, and then some asshole leaves me this."

You open your hand to reveal the crumpled note to Ed. He keeps his face as neutral as he can, recognizing it. Oh no, you fucked up, Ed! The voice in his head gleefully taunts.

Your sniffle brings him back, and you look down at the note, spreading it out so you can read it out loud.

"While you are not seen by others as a beauty

I cannot keep myself from glancing at your desk.

Your figure is full, and yet one word sticks truly,

I can only describe you as such: Rubenesque."

Ed ponders over the poem, while a bit rudimentary, it was full of his true compliments to you. But your face crumples when you get to the last word, stuttering it out.

Your eyes look to him, "I mean, Ed! How could someone write this?"

You see his face scrunch in confusion. "I admit, I do not quite understand. I see nothing wrong with the note?"

Feeling frustration well inside of you, you gesture with your hands wildly. "Nothing wrong? It's that word, Rubenesque!! It's an insult, I know it, especially with how those assholes were glancing at me as I read it, laughing once I was done."

Ed seems to be more confused now. "I was not aware it was an insult?"

You nod, and remember all of the times you have heard it in the past, "It's always been used by people who want to try and appear to be kind, but truly aren't. They call me Rubenesque in this snide tone, like it's something they can barely stand to spit out of their mouths."

Ed tries to interrupt, but you continue, softer now. "I just don't know Ed. The whole note seems to be mocking me...calling me full figured and not a beauty. Am I really that bad?" He shakes his head while you feel tears starting again, so you look down at the floor.

Now at a whisper, you barely get out the next words. "I just...I don't even want someone to like me anymore. I just want them to leave me alone." With that vulnerable confession, you sob, and bring your hands to your face, trying desperately to cover it. A shiver runs through you again.

After a few beats, you feel warmth around you, and you glance up to see that Ed has moved closer to cover you with the blanket he brought. His long arms stay in place in a hug after he positions it, keeping you close to him. You are a bit taken aback, as the most that Ed has touched anyone in the past was maybe a handshake.

He leans down so you can hear him, his voice more sure, now, even if it is soft. "Do you know about the painter, Rubens?"

You shake your head. "Is that where the term comes from?" He nods. Not feeling charitable, you grab the blanket and bring it closer around you as you grumble out, "Rubens can suck it."

He lets out a giggle at that, and you feel your heart warm at the noise. "I understand that you feel it is an insult...would you mind if I explain what it really means?"

You nod, because even if it is as bad as you make it out to be, at least you can hear his voice as he explains it.

One of his hands strokes the blanket surrounding you, right on top of your arm. "Rubens painted many different subjects, but the descriptor of Rubenesque usually refers to his nude paintings of women. Specifically, women like Venus."

You lift up your head to look at him. "Venus as in the Goddess of Beauty?"

He nods, gently. "Yes, among...other things." His eyes darken for just a moment before returning to his informative rant. "The women he paints are known to be full-figured, yes, but they are beautiful because of that, in my opinion."

You sit as still as you can, barely breathing, wanting to hear every word he says. A long finger comes under your chin and guides your face until you are looking right at him. "I wrote you that note. I think you are the definition of beauty."

And with that, he brings you gently forward, looking in your eyes the whole time. You let him, and lean forward to meet his lips. The kiss you share is sweet and short, but it fills you with a giddiness that makes you feel like a teen experiencing her first kiss again.

You separate smiling at each other, and Ed reaches up to kiss your forehead. "I apologize for upsetting you. I was trying to be a secret admirer."

You chuckle, "Yeah, well, it didn't help that I read the note as uncharitably as I could." You glance up at him, "I'm sorry for crumpling it up in anger."

He shakes his head. "D-don't apologize. I'll write you as m-many bad poems as you want." One of his long arms slowly moves down, and a finger traces your hip over the blanket. "Is this ok?"

You feel a warmth spark through you again as he makes contact, and all you trust yourself to do is nod. He nuzzles into your neck, whispering in your ear.

"I want you to know, right now, so there is no doubt, I love your body. These hips, your plush belly...even your soft arms." You feel his warm breath on your ear, and it makes you shudder. "They all remind me of art, and they make me want to..."

He trails off, and brings his hand away from your hip quickly, as if burned. You miss his touch, already, and confusedly ask, "What? Ed?"

You can't tell anything from his neutral face, but he gets up, suddenly, grabbing your lunches together again. "Let's find a better place for lunch, more comfortable...maybe with a table."

You nod, standing up with him. As you position the blanket around you, Ed wraps an arm around your waist.

"A-and...if you would like...have dinner with me tonight. I'll cook for you and...tell you more of my thoughts."

Your cheeks heat up, and his do as well. "Ed, I..." You think for a moment. "I'd love to have dinner with you."

He grins at you, again-one of his sappy, closed mouth grins-and leads you out of the room in his embrace. The two of you chat and giggle, seeking out a proper place for lunch and ignoring all of the stares you get. If you have each other, the rest of the world doesn't matter.

---------------------------------------

#lawrites #plus size reader #x reader #reader #plus size fic #gotham #gotham x reader #edward nygma x reader #gotham rogues x reader #gotham edward nygma

[luveline]

can I request more bodyguard James? he’s just the cutest and I’m happy to read anything about it!!

thank you for your request! you and James go shopping and get mistaken for a couple ♥︎ fem!reader 1k

James looks like your boyfriend, sometimes. There are moments that he deems low risk in your life where he won't wear his radio or his utility belt, opting instead for plain black civilian clothing. In those moments, you aren't proud of yourself for doing so, but you like to pretend he is your boyfriend. 

He's looking through broccoli's for you. You hadn't asked him to. His hands sift through huge trees until he's found the most vibrant, holding it up for your inspection. 

"Perfect," you praise, opening your small paper bag so he can drop it inside with the rest of your hand-picked veggies.

The only thing left on your list is extra virgin olive oil, but you don't want to go home yet. You like the way people look at you and James when you're together,  awed and a little jealous. They might wonder how you nabbed a man like him, and of course you haven't nabbed him at all. That's your secret to keep. 

You meander down the vegetable aisle, your eyes skipping over snap peas and cabbages, bags of wonky carrots and parsnips. James grabs a bag of rooster potatoes before you can stretch over the crates for them. 

"Gotta wake up earlier in the morning to beat me, angel," he says. 

"I don't think I could." 

James wakes up at 3AM every morning, if he's to be believed. It makes sense. He wakes up, does bits around the flat, works out, has breakfast, and is waiting smiley and bright-eyed when you emerge from your room at 6:30. You're never as put together as he is, usually in your nightgown or one of those matching pyjama sets that make him look you up and down (though you both pretend he doesn't). 

No matter how bleary your vision is, it's impossible to miss the way he smiles at you every single day, like you're the sun coming up over the horizon. His pretty brown eyes squint, his thick crop of eyelashes threading together at their corners, and he says some warm variation of, "Morning, princess. Is it me or did you get prettier while I was gone?" 

"We could try it out. Of course, if you wake up at three, I'll have to start waking up at midnight," he says now. 

"I don't know how you do it," you say. Your voice is softened by genuine admiration. 

"I get to see you. Makes it easy." 

He's flirting, but with James you can never make out where the line is. Does he want you to flirt back? Does he want you to want him? You'd say without hesitation that James is your best friend in the whole world. He'd say without hesitation that his best friend is actually a duo, Sirius and Remus. That makes it hard. 

But it's okay. You don't need anything more than this: his hand on your shoulder guiding you across the aisle to the fresh fruit punnets, the smell of his cologne a familiar treat. 

You pick up a couple of things you like, mostly stuff you know you can convince James to share. He likes oranges best, so you grab a bag of huge ones and drop them in your basket with the veggies. It's getting heavy. You can practically see James' holding in an offer to carry it for you.

You're somewhere in the spreads and grains aisle when an older lady approaches you, or rather James, tapping him on the elbow gently.

"Hey, hun, you couldn't help me reach something?" 

"I'd be happy to!" he says cheerily. 

"Thanks so much. I've never been very tall, and every year I seem to shrink. It's just over here." 

James legally isn't supposed to stray from your side, so he threads his hand under your upper arm and pulls you with him. 

The elderly woman points to a box bragging organic, dehydrated strips of applesauce. "It's those right there if it's no trouble for you, hun." 

"No, of course not." 

James grabs her box with little to no effort expended. He doesn't even need to go on toes. 

"God, he's so tall," the elderly lady says to you. 

"He's super tall," you echo, your sunny talking-to-strangers voice in play. 

"And very handsome. You're a lovely couple." 

You fall into silence with your lips parted, not sure what to say. It isn't worth correcting and potentially embarrassing her for a harmless assumption, especially when you like that she thinks it, but you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of James by looking to eager. 

"She's the lovely one," James says, offering the applesauce with a huge beaming smile. 

She presses her hand to her collar, basket proffered until James places the applesauce carefully on top of a punnet of plums and a TV magazine. 

"Thank you," she says. "Getting old's no fun when you're short. And my husband was even shorter than I am! You hold on to this one, love, you never know when you'll need something from a tall shelf."

You and James laugh in a mirrored delight at her easy-going joking, his hand falling against the top of your shoulder, fingers spread and clasping. You swear, heat radiates like the sun from his touch alone. 

"I'm holding on about as tightly as I can," James says, "she couldn't get rid of me if she wanted to." 

You look at him, startled, and meet his earnest gaze. "I don't want to. I don't think I'll ever want to." 

James smiles. 

The elderly woman nods like this is something she'd suspected. 

"Good. You're a perfect pair," she says.

James rubs the space between your shoulders affectionately while he finally steals the heavy shopping basket from over your arm. You're too flustered from his touch to kick up a fuss. 

"I've been thinking the same thing," he says. 

#bodyguard!james #james potter x reader #james potter #james potter x fem!reader #james potter fanfiction #james potter imagine #the marauders x reader #the marauders fanfiction #the marauders fanfic #the marauders #marauders era #marauders #james potter fluff #bodyguard!james potter

[chaoticneutralgood2627]

Advice to College Students (From someone who's trying to apply for a master's program)

Note that these are in no particular order and from my own particular experience. I will add if I think of more.

TAKE NOTES ON EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY IF YOU FIND IT COOL: your brain will tell you 'I'll remember that fact, it's so neat!' Your brain is a BITCH. You will not remember SHIT. Take ALL the notes. If you can record your classes, even better!

Write down who your professors are for each class. Make a big document. All the years. Write them. Write down their vibes and if you like them. Write down what sort of assignments they gave. Because I'm over here trying desperately to remember which professors I had multiple classes with so I can beg them for recommendations.

Save your assignments. Even if they're horribly cringey. You can use this to gauge how far you've come. I know it hurts your soul. I have fanfic from when I was 12. Do it anyway.

When they tell you the grad school shit, pay attention. Even if you don't plan to go back to school. Because I didn't listen and now I have changed my mind and I have no recollection of that section of school.

Networking. Gather contacts from your classmates. If for no other reason than because you think they're intimidating and you don't want your LinkedIn to look depressing. They're probably just as intimidated by you. And if not, you can pretend they are.

College is not high school. Next to no one has friends at first. Everyone is a disaster. Talk to people. You might not find Your People in your first friend group. That's fine. There are people there somewhere that can make life less awful. The worst they can say is no, you can't be friends with us (and most people aren't that bitchy). The universe is big and no one is judging you harder than you are.

It's not that friends Can't Live Together, it's that people have different organization styles and needs for survival and sometimes those Do Not Mesh. If you're going to live with someone, make sure that you have talked about things.

Everything can go on a resume if you word it right. Editing a friend's paper? Congrats, you have editing and tutoring experience. Playing DND on weekends? Cooperation and teambuilding to work towards a common goal, sometimes in the face of creative differences (your friends want to Fight Everything and you want to Stay Alive (or reversed)). EVERYTHING CAN GO ON A RESUME.

There are so many resources on campus. Use them, for the love of god because then you're going to be an adultier adult and realize that there is not a med center right across the campus.

Find what motivates you. Mine is spite, I am applying to grad school to get out of retail and to spite 2 specific supervisors. Cling to that when you want to drop out and quit.

There is not a specific route to take in college. Or out of college. Listen to yourself rather than everyone's advice (I am aware that this is ironic to be on an advice post).

If you think you can wake up at 9 after like 4 hours of sleep, that is the devil talking to you. Go to bed.

On the same note. I am aware that you woke up at like 5 for high school. You will not want to exist before noon. 8 am classes are not illegal, but they should be.

Take care of yourself. You're paying a shit ton of money to be there, you can take an hour to eat the food. Plus, if you take care of yourself, then you will work better.

There will be weird shit happening all over. Just roll with it. Unless it's hurting someone or has the potential to hurt someone (my one friend got stalked).

You are not required to stay somewhere social if it's creeping you the fuck out or if you aren't comfy. I think I went to a single party in my entire college life and I hid in the corner with their illegal kitten the whole time.

Speaking of illegal kittens. If you know someone has an illegal kitten, no the fuck you do not. There probably will be at least one. And you do not know about it.

#college life #college campus #college students #advice #college advice #college #student #help

[naompspsps]

Debating whether to sign or not

Azul x GN!Reader

Summary: You're struggling with only one assignment, yet Azul is asking you to sign a contract to be able to finish the assignment that you end up debating if you should sign it or not.

Established Relationship with Azul, Floyd being Floyd, Jade is nowhere to be found (looking for more mushrooms)

Warning: Thirdwheeler Floyd, I repeat, Thirdwheeler Floyd. Soft Azul, Lovesick Azul, "I love my partner" vibe Azul, and Azul being a simp for you.

Mentions: Mentions of mushrooms that Jade brings back to the dorm, Azul calling you love every single sentence /hj

! do not repost or translate my works anywhere. do not copy or use my works in any site, Reblogs are appreciated alot though !

You can't finish an assignment because there was an error, you never learned about this! You don't remember having these lessons! Why in Wonderland would the teacher put this in, a lesson that most of the class aren't even aware of? But despite everything, you still climb lengths to finish that. Who knows, It could be an extra point for your grades.

You walk around the library, trying to find the book for the assignment so you can study for a while, When Floyd suddenly just appears from behind and drags you to Octavinelle.

Here you are, In Azul's VIP room. You already go here multiple times, you're just wondering why they would drag you here. "Please explain why you had to interrupt me." You sigh. "Well~ I heard that you were having a hard time with an assignment that the teacher did not teach." Azul crosses his legs. "And? Your point is?" You coldly say. "Now now, My dear. Don't be harsh, I just simply wanted to readdress the issue~"

You look at him, raising an eyebrow as you wait for him to continue on.

"So how about you sign a contract in order to finish difficult assignments as soon as possible?"

You almost spit the water that you were drinking out of your mouth the moment you heard the word 'contract.' You swallow the water, Soft coughs escaping your throat. You clear your throat. "You only brought me here to sign a contract?!"

"Wellll, It's not only that, I brought you here for tons of things." Azul shrugs, placing down the paper on the desk and sliding it infront of you. "Azul you-" You sigh, putting two fingers at the bridge of your nose. "..Fine, What's the catch?"

"Ah, Simple; It's nothing-"

"Nope. Not signing that."

"Aw, But why is that, My love?" Azul tilts his head to the side teasingly. "I don't believe you when you say there's no disadvantage. There is no way." You cross your arms and look away. "No but my love," You hear his chair move a bit, as a hand lifts your head up to look at him directly in the eyes.

"You, are a special case. Those other poor unfortunate souls may suffer with the assignment, but I do not want you to fail this one." Azul whispers. You stare at him. Are you falling for his tricks? Maybe, but there are some little parts of you that can fight back.

"Azul, we both remember what happened the last time you said there wasn't any catch. Clearly, You used magic to get rid of the disbenefit in the contract." You trace your finger around the paper. "Yes, I have remembrance of that, but the student was a fool. You are the love of my life, why would I do the same for you?"

Then again, Azul has proved his love to you.. Many.. Many times. "Azul, You do know you could just teach me the assignment, right?" You look at him, He walks around his desk, towards you. "My love, You are just adorable. I didn't say just one specific assignment. I said any assignments for whatever you'll struggle at."

Your eyes looks at his hand that was holding yours tightly, he raises your hand closer to his lips, Pressing it softly at the back of your hand. "Azul, that's technically cheating.." You whisper. "Love, What's cheating is that almost everybody in this prestigious school goes to me. To get help instead of studying, yet the Headmage does nothing about it."

"Can you guys get a room? It's sickening seeing you guys act like this infront of me." Floyd says in the background, You and Azul look at Floyd, Who was laying on the couch, occupying the space with his feet resting on the arm of the couch.

"How about you get out instead." You both reply. You had a cold tone, But on the other hand, Azul had a calm one.

Floyd only grunts, standing up and walking out of the room, He closes the door. Well that was easy, usually Floyd would be a menace and stay even if he was commanded to leave.

"Back to what I was saying.. My love, if you really want to have a catch for your safety, I'll make one. How about.."

Azul tucks your hair behind your ear. His fingers send a shiver down your spine as he traces your jawline and stopping at your chin, lifting your head up using a finger. "..You are to kiss me when I tell you to do so?"

"Azul,"

"What seems to be the matter, My love?"

You stare at him in disbelief. "Are you trying to find a way to kiss me as much as to your liking?"

"Hm, Maybe, Maybe not. Take a guess~"

"I think yes." You guess. "Bingo."

You sigh. "I don't see the point of me signing this." Azul raises his eyebrow in amusement. "Love, if your worried that I would take advantage of this, I won't. It would take me getting stuck in millions of nets to take advantage of it."

To be honest, You're surprised he's even that determined to help you. If you kiss him, Of course. Are you gonna sign it like a foolish person? Yes.

You look at his ear, a pen hanging on it. You raise your hand near his ear and take the pen, deciding to sign the contract. Your signature almost makes Azul just want to take marriage papers and make you sign it.

"Contract done! See?~ No harm done." Azul slides the paper aside, taking the pen in your hands and puts it on the desk. He gently grabs your chin. "Give me a kiss."

By command, You follow his order.

Your lips press against his. He stops the kiss, a soft 'mwa' sound coming out of his mouth. "There we go, It works." Azul chuckles. "..Azul, Hon. I feel like I can survive fourth year knowledge."

"It works well~" He repeats. "Well, Now that we got that out of the way, how about we go get us smoothies in the Mostro Lounge?" He asks. "Just the two of us?" You ask.

"Just the two of us. Floyd can just stand at the side, but he won't bother us." You stand up from the seat, Azul's fingers interlocking with yours. "Hm, I suppose this isn't that bad after all."

"See? Told you~ I would never put your life at stake." Azul states, dragging you along.

"Of course you wouldn't.. You care for me so much you'd let Floyd eat the mushrooms Jade comes in the dorm with."

"If I were to save one, it'd be you."

Author's End Note: IM DEAD SO DEAD PLSFSPSLLSPSLSPSPSL AZUL ONE CHANCEEEEEE

! do not repost or translate my works anywhere. do not copy or use my works in any site, Reblogs are appreciated alot though !

#twisted wonderland #twst azul #disney twst #gn reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #this idea just appeared in my mind #thought i should share it

[makeyoumine69]

Destroy Me

◥ PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader

◥ SUMMARY: Your first interactions with Mr. Bateman, your potential owner, made you sure that he's a sick dangerous man.

◥ WARNINGS: 18+/ NSFW │dark content, non-consensual touching, kidnapping, misogyny, human trafficking, Patrick grabbing a handful of reader's p*ssy, teasing, nipple play, toxic and obsessive behaviour, swearing, humiliation, dirty talk, pet names.

◥ WORDCOUNT: 2k

◥ A/N: The dark vibes of Mr. Kitty's songs seem like paradise to me. I hope you like this chapter, thank you for the reading! Big thanks to my dear @lissasharp for the help!💞

◥ SONG REC: Mr.Kitty - Destroy Me🖤

◥ LINKS: [Shadow Lady Masterlist⛓] [Main Masterlist]

A dark desperation occupied your mind, not giving you even a chance to think about any viable options to run away from this place.

With your hands pressed against your chest, you heard the door closed behind your back, that sound remained in your head for a long time. Shaking like a leaf, you were following the ‘boss-lady’, moving through the barely lit corridor to the place where that awful man was waiting for you.

“Now, listen here, (Y/N),” she paused near the big wooden door. Her face looked so tense, when she turned to you and added: “If you don’t want to get into trouble, you better behave yourself.”

“Or what?” you questioned, curling your fingers into a fist. “You will kill me like a dog?”

The boss-lady just giggled in response, and there was something really evil in the way she did it. Slowly, she opened the door before you; the dark smirk never left her face. “Come on, get in.”

With a sharp breath, you made one step into the void, sensing millions of shivers running down your spine, and it was not because of the cold. To your surprise, the room turned out to be a marvelous place, you could even say it was pretty luxurious with all of this expensive furniture and big antique lamps. 

Pulling yourself together, you looked over the people, sitting in the leather armchairs and smoking their cigars. One of them was that ‘customer’, who just bought you, but this thought still couldn't implant within you; it never would. Another guy looked much older compared to the other, his eyes were shamelessly gliding all over your body, and that made you almost cry out in disgust, as you wanted to run away from here more than anything in your life.

“You have a great taste, Mr. Bateman.” The old man asserted, puffing on his cigar and crossing his legs.

“I know,” he replied before taking some papers. “Can’t see any dates though…”

“Don’t worry! These documents are most recent, and the information is beyond relevant! We just used some… Well, a friend of mine did it to avoid any problems with the law…”

“Uh-huh,” Bateman nodded, inhaling the smoke of his expensive cigar. For all this time, he didn’t even glance at you. “If any of these aren't true,” he pointed at the documents as he put them back on the small table between the armchairs. “I think you already know what will happen to all of you. Don’t cha?” Patrick smiled and looked at the man next to him, and then at the boss-lady; she was obviously so scared of him–you could hear her rapid breathing behind your back.

“O-of course, Mr Bateman…”, the old guy swallowed hard, losing his tie a bit and kept blubbering: “But I assure you! We care about our customers, therefore ensure you high-quality service and-”

“I got it,” Bateman cut him off, taking the last sip of his whiskey. Only now, his hazel eyes found your lost ones, and the picture of your frightened face caused his lips to curl into a pleased smirk of satisfaction. “Now, I want to finish things and conclude this transaction.”

“I brought the girl!” The blue-eyed woman suddenly blurted out, and you almost flinched in your place.

“Thank you, but I’m not blind,” Bateman chuckled, turning to the old man once again. “Can everybody just get out of here, please? I don’t want to make my girl embarrassed.”

My girl?

Hugging yourself, you shriveled from these words, expecting nothing but the horrible things, which were going to happen so soon, you didn’t even have time to prepare yourself, but was it even possible to be ready in such a situation?

“I’m sorry, Mr. Bateman,” the guy paused as he was so afraid to say what he was planning to. “But according to our rules we can’t leave you alone to avoid any accidents and-”

“I’m ready to pay half of the price right now,” Bateman almost spit in the old man’s face as he picked up his case to get the money; you’ve never seen such thick wads of cash. “Besides, I don’t want anyone to gawk at her. Is that enough?” Carelessly, Patrick threw a few wads of cash on the table, waiting for the answer.

The boss-lady and the unknown guy looked briefly at each other, before he consented: “All right, but you have limited time-”

“Leave already.” Patrick husked and puffed on the cigar, his lips tensed around it from anger, so you could almost see his white teeth. 

After a while, there were only two of you in the room. 

Trembling, you couldn’t look at anything but the floor, as your heart was beating so fast, it was almost painful.

“What a bunch of stupid dicks,” Bateman laughed abruptly, leaving you completely confused. “Doll… You can’t even imagine how lucky you are… That I’m going to take you out of here. Trust me, this place is worse than hell.”

Did he really expect you to fall on your knees and kiss his feet for his generosity? Arrogant son of a bitch…

“All right, (Y/N). Let's forget the formalities,” Patrick sat himself more comfortable in his armchair, throwing his one leg on another. “Take your clothes off. Let's see what you got.”

You had to clear your throat before speaking, as it felt like your mouth was full of sand: “Excuse me?”

Patrick let out a tired sigh, rubbing the bridge of his perfectly shaped nose. “Do you want me to do it myself?”

“No!” you almost screamed, when you watched him standing from his place. “I’ll do it… Just, don’t touch me, please…”

Saying nothing, he put on that devilish smile again, leaning on the back of his seat, his hands were thrashing around his knees in undisguised anticipation. 

Timidly, your shaking hands reached the clasp of your bra. Before you eventually undid it, you cast a scornful gaze at him, sensing how anger and despair were mixing up in your blood. It seemed like your heart fell down on the ground along with your bra, when you heard his deep exhale.

“Mm-mh, keep going, doll.” His voice definitely got lower on some octaves.

Totally embarrassed, you were trying to convince yourself to do what he ordered, with no reflection or sorrow–your life was in danger, that was the actual point.

With one quick motion, you pulled down your panties, leaving yourself fully exposed in front of that smug bastard, whose eyes now were dark as the midnight sky. But, despite your sudden surge of boldness, your hands were instinctively trying to hide your naked body from his vision, inducing the corners of his lips to twitch in amusement. 

Scoffing haughtily, Patrick shook the glass to make sure it was empty, asserting: “You don’t need to be ashamed in front of me, honey,” Bateman opened his arms expansively and finally smiled with his usual delight. “(Y/N), you belong to me now,” he directed, looking into your scared eyes. “Every little piece of your body belongs to me. So, be an obedient girl and turn around.”

“Just turn around?” Why did you even ask that, damn?

“You can bend over, after you turn around. I want to see what I’m paying for.” All of your insides seemed to tighten like a string and your knees nearly buckled. 

Breathing sharply, you spun around and did what he told you to, with your eyes watering by the second.

“Spread your legs wider,” Patrick pressed his elbows against his knee, leaning on them, as he couldn't stop looking at your luscious unused pussy. When you did so, he claimed: “Such a good girl… Can’t wait to find out how it feels to be inside of this innocent little hole.”

By saying that, Bateman stood up and got closer to you, right when you turned around, so you nearly bumped into his solid frame. 

“A-ahm, Sorry… I…” You froze, with your hands pressed against your breasts and your mound, as you were trying to cover yourself. Goodman, he was so tall and broad, he was towering over your like a fucking skyscraper. 

“It’s okay, Sunshine,” he carefully stroked your cheek, wiping away your tears. “We’ll have a lot of fun together…” slowly, his finger traced down to your clavicle, and then you flinched from the feeling of the soft fingertips, brushing along your cleavage. “And, I promise, I’ll make you happy...”

“Please, d-don't…” you sobbed out loud, when he possessively took your hands away to touch your taut nipple. “S-stop!”

“Such a subtle blossom,” Bateman was about to kiss your lips, but he stopped himself. Instead of it, he pinched your engorged peak, making you moan barely audible. “No one ever touched you like that?”

Breathless, you wanted to grab his hands and push them away, but you were too scared of him being angry. Desperately stifling the upcoming nasty sounds, which were languishing in your chest, you had to sink your nails into your delicate skin almost till the blood. 

Meantime, Patrick seemed not going to stop his ravenous assault on your quivering little body, as he pressed his other palm against your belly, tickling you a bit, making you wince and he couldn't help but snigger in enjoyment. All of your coy reactions were turning him on like nothing else in this cynical corrupted world. 

“Mr. B-Bateman…” shivering under his touch, you felt yourself so abashed by how your body was responding to his caress. “Enough… I… I beg you, ahh-”

A strange, but insufferable blissful sensation hit your mind like a lightning strike, when Bateman reached your sensitive clit, giving it several rubs. With every second, his ministrations were becoming more and more persistent, inducing you to close your eyes and bite your lip to suppress a loud moan from the longing feeling in your lower belly.

“You like it, don’t you?” Patrick asked, watching you struggling with yourself.

“No…” you whimpered, but he only simpered in response, before trapping your blushing nub between his sneaky fingers, rhythmically massaging it. “Aa-aww… Mr. Bate-”

Selfishly, he shushed you with a palm, leaning over to your neck to inhale your sweet scent and lick your touchy skin. And then, Bateman suddenly blabbed:

“What is that?” squinting, he traced a thumb along the artery on your throat. “A scar?”

Vexed, Patrick removed his hand from between your legs and you could finally heave a sigh of relief. “Yes… I've got a couple of scars…”

“Couple?” he issued in a stern voice, looking at you from above. “Who dared to touch such a sweetheart like you-”

“Mr. Bateman, are you done with inspecting?”

You both recoiled from unexpectedness, before he retorted: “Yes, come in.” 

When the door clicked, you watched him concisely sucking up his fingers, which were slightly covered in your juices–that scene made your cheeks inflame with humiliation.

“So… What do you think?” The bitch with blue eyes asked, staring at your naked body absolutely emotionless. 

“I’m not gonna pay twenty-five thousand for her, cause she has several scars,” Bateman stated, strolling away from you to take his cigar. “Let's make a deal. Twenty thousand.”

“Twenty-three-”

“Twenty thousand, that’s my last word.”

For some period, they were looking at each other like two predators before their deadly jump, but then you heard the boss-lady’s lament. “Argh, all right! Twenty thousand…”

“Wonderful,” Patrick exclaimed, opening his case once again and taking out the rest of the money. “That’s all?”

“Yes, Mr. Bateman… I’m glad we negotiated,” right after her words, you saw a group of unknown men, entering the room. Then, one of them handed her a thick folder with some papers. “All information about her is here.”

She came to the table, took the money and put down the folder. Everything that happened next, you didn’t remember, as someone pressed a cloak of fabric to your mouth, making you black out and limp.

“Hey, careful!” Bateman shouted, pointing at your direction with a finger. “Was that necessary?”

“She’s very troublesome, it’s for her own good. Believe me.”

“Wait, I will carry her…” overprotectively, Patrick reached your unconscious body and took you in his arms, before musing: “Don’t worry, Dear. Soon, you will be at home.”

#american psycho #patrick bateman x reader #patrick bateman imagine #patrick bateman #patrick bateman x female reader #patrick bateman x you #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #slasher x you #slasher smut #patrick bateman smut #patrick bateman headcanon #christian bale smut #christian bale x reader

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Foul Legacy meeting you, an astronomer studying at Sumeru's famous Akademiya. it's at night, several hours after most students have gone to sleep, apart from the ones in your Darshan, of course- your evenings are mostly spent outside somewhere quiet, looking up at the night sky with a lantern to keep you company. it's lovely and beautiful, the constellations twinkling above as you write your papers, if a little lonely; your classmates aren't really up for idle chatter most of the time. but it's alright, really. the silence doesn't get to you at all.

everything is fine.

normally your stargazing sessions are spent in silent contemplation, but one night you begin hearing rustling noises in the foliage behind you. yet when you turn, there's nothing- and no one- there, and you can only look back up with a slight frown. the rustling continues, slowly transitioning into the soft sound of heavy footsteps on moss as a presence tentatively settles next to you. you're not going to look. you're not going to look. you're not going to look-

you peek over, and let out a yelp at the monster sitting beside you, scrambling to get away.

the next moments are a flurry of chirps and yells and ruffled fur, the creature bowing his head and whining apologetically, carefully picking up a piece of paper you had dropped and holding it out to you as a peace offering. he purrs deeply when you eventually approach and take it from him, his claws barely even leaving a mark on the delicate parchment. the beast glances at the ground then back up to you, silently moving so you can sit back down exactly where you were, and when you tentatively cross your legs he curls up at your side, not touching, but simply looking up at the stars with the same awe that's always in your eyes.

you hesitate again, before reaching out and slowly setting a hand in the monster's soft hair, and are met with soft, happy purrs.

#genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #gi ajax #foul legacy #foul legacy childe #genshin tartagalia #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #genshin x reader #childe x reader #inhales deeply #the stars.... constellation..... aurugughrghgh #you and foul legacy become stargazing buddies #and yes you definitely sit on top of the big tree #also you probably sneak him into school #short scenario #wifi's brainrot #good evening

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

Hey, Mickey! [Pt. 2]

University AU TW: Language, Alcohol Consumption, P w/out P, Hook-Up Culture, Y/N's a bit promiscuous but so are her friends lmfao Smut Warnings: Semi-Public Sex, Car Sex, Sloppy Make Outs, Penetrative Sex, Degradation, Name Calling, Fingering, Handjob, Oral (F!Giving - Blowjob), Lowkey face-fucking, Overstimulation, San's a meanie (translated: soft dom ish), Unprotected Sex (contraceptives are sexy guys), Double Penetration, Anal, Creampie, Manhandling, Multiple Orgasms, Genre: Romance, Smut, Exes-to-FWB-to-Lovers, Minors DNI Pairing: Choi San x Reader ft. Yeosang YN Pronouns: Female (She/Her) Word Count: 3.8K

[Other Groups Masterlist] [Ao3 Link] | [Wattpad Link]

Notes: I didn't mean to write a sequel to this but... here we are ig lmaooooooo BUT THIS IS IT I PROMISE! Also rq you do not need to read part 1, this can be a stand alone, but if you want to read that filth go ahead. Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading!

"I hate you, (Y/N)!" Your friend cried. "You said he's free!"

"Okay, and? He's not free anymore," you sipped on your iced tea while your friend lamented on the table in front of you.

"Was he... was he at least a good fuck?"

"I guess you'll never know."

"No!" Your friend cries into her arms. She looks at you with sad eyes. "You're lucky I love you."

"Yup," you finished your tea and placed it aside while you continued your paper. "Plus, you don't want to date that asshole," you rolled your eyes and groaned.

"Why not?"

"His idea of a date is a movie and a fuck, he's so unromantic," you complained.

"Why are you dating him then?" She asks, regaining her composure and touching up her eyeliner now.

"I guess I'm just used to it," you eyed her weirdly but continued your own business. "Maybe I kinda missed it."

"Wow, your friends were right, your standards are really on the floor, huh?" She huffs. Apparently so.

"I know," you couldn't stop the grin from rising on your face. "Anyway, we have a date later, so we'll see what happens," you rest your chin against your palm.

"Aw, what's the plan?" She pushes.

"Let's see," San chimes behind you while placing a hand on your shoulder, "dinner at 6, movie at 8, and sex in my car at 10," San lists off on his fingers behind you.

"You're stupid," you rolled your eyes again and looked at your friend, "what did I tell you. Unromantic, right?" You sighed.

"Just the way you like it," he shoots you a wink and steals your coffee.

"What else did I tell you? Absolute asshole," you deadpanned toward your friend. San, making no comment, walked off. "Look, he just came here to fucking embarrass me and take my shit, ugh, why am I talking to him again?" You shook your head and went back to work. "Consider yourself lucky, friend." You stole a glance at her, catching her watching San walk off.

"I wish I had a guy who treated me like shit."

"You're even stupider than he is."

"Let me live my whore era in peace," her head slips down her hand and she giggles. "You have two other friends, right?"

"Why are you so attracted to my friends?!"

"Why are your friends so attractive?!" She fires back.

~

"Really, San? I thought you'd at least be a little more classy than this," you crawled over to the backseat and straddled his lap. The earlier date was a bit of a blur, to be honest, the movie was boring and dinner was okay, but part of you felt that weird semblance of him trying to be more romantic. It didn't work though. In the end, you were still about to fuck in his car, one of the most unromantic of places.

"I mean, yeah, but you're here anyway, aren't you?" His hands rest on either side of your hip. "If you want me to take you home to my place right now then I'll do it," he shrugs. "But can you wait that long?" He teases you.

"Shut up," you leaned down and kissed him. Your lips moved together slowly while San's thumbs started to trace circles around your hips. His hands slipped into your shirt and sent a cold shock up your spine, something that elicited a small groan from you and allowed San to push forward while deepening the kiss. You felt your hips relax against his lap and you could feel his boner against his jeans. You separated for a moment, leaving San to chase after you.

"What?" His voice sounded more disinterested than annoyed.

"Your windows are tinted, right?" You looked out into the nighttime.

"Nope," he pulls you down to his lips once again.

"San," his name was muffled between your lips. "Mm mmm," you shook your head. He pulled away.

"Come on, no one's here, you can see the lot better than I can," he starts to kiss your neck instead. He wasn't really wrong per se, you really should've suspected something when he parked back here, but here you were being surprised again, huh? "What are you so worried about? It's not like anyone we know would be here at this time," he continues. Again, he wasn't wrong.

Plus, part of you thought that car sex was hot.

"Fine, but I do expect you to bring me home still," you said.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," he pulled your shirt off and kissed you again, something you welcomed and reciprocated. He reached behind you and unclasped your bra before tossing it to some unknown part of the car, and your hips bucked against his, something that made him smirk against you. "Needy much?" He teased you too often, in your opinion.

"Shut up and just fuck me already, okay?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," San separated from you and you groaned. "Hold on there, baby, we're not just fucking around anymore," he lowers you against the seat and your breath catches in your throat. "Nah, we're "talking," right? I'm fucking to keep you now," he presses small kisses against your chest. "Then again, my competition is Mark, so I'm not too concerned," he grabs the waistbands of your skirt and your panties and pulls them off slowly.

"Don't be mean!" You tug at his hair and he groans around your nipple.

Mark, San's polar opposite. He was sweet, romantic, and just so caring, kinda bad at sex but you would never tell him. You didn't deserve him, now that you thought of it, especially since you're about to be willingly dicked down by your ex, but what's new?

"And? Since when were you into the nice guys? I know you, you like us mean," San's fingers ghost over your clit and your back arches. He pushes himself up and presses wet kisses along your jaw just as he traces his fingers around your folds and, fucking finally, he presses two fingers inside of you.

"Haa..." you let out a shaky moan and felt yourself sinking into the leather seats. You pulled his face to yours and kissed him hard. He let out a low groan as you started to palm at his crotch.

"You like us stupid too," he mutters against you. "You like it when we can't think of anything other than you, you thrive on that shit, it gets you off every time," his voice was a low rumble on your lips.

"No," your response came out as a low moan, "that's not..." you couldn't finish your sentence, not with how he was moving inside of you.

"You're all I ever think about," he presses up against your g-spot and your legs nearly clamped together as you started to grind on his fingers. "I could be doing whatever and all I can think about is how much of a cock-hungry whore you can be, all I think about is how you can barely even talk after I'm done with you. You should see yourself right now, where'd all that pride from earlier go?" He pulled his hand away in a swift movement, licking them clean before pulling his jeans off. The opportunity presented itself and you weren't one to back down, besides, you couldn't let him have all the glory. You were quick to push him back now, taking more of a front and wrapping your hand around his dick. "Oh?" He asks with a confident grin. You dragged your hand up and started to slowly jerk him, taking your time to listen to his own pretty moans.

"I usually prefer to be the one dumb fucked stupid but... you said it yourself, I'm fucking to keep you," you crawled into the space between his legs and wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock, your tongue drawing languid circles around it while San's head hit the back of the seat.

"Fuck..." he drew the curse out and his hand rested on the top of your head as you took more and more of his cock into your mouth. He wasn't pushing down on you, thankfully, but the force was there, and god did it turn you on. You pulled your head up along his dick now, jerking him all along the way while he started to pull at your hair. The bitter taste of precum dragged along your tongue each time you tried to take more of him. "You can take more of it, I know you can," he starts to push your head down further and you gagged around him. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and San cursed again. "Fuck, you look so hot like this," he brushes your hair out of your face right as you take the last of him in. Deep breaths, just relax. Not the first time you blew him, just the first time in such a restricted space. You try to pull off of him again, but his hips move up and he holds you in place.

"Mmph," you moaned around him while he thrust into you. Your legs started to give way under you, sliding further apart while you sank to the bottom of the car and your wetness dripped out of you. One of your hands moved to your pussy and you slipped your index and middle fingers inside to scissor yourself while you gagged on his cock. San moaned on top of you just as he pulled you off of him to give you a chance to climb back on top of him, your pussy hovering above his cock for just a moment before you spread your lips and sank down on him. He pulled you down into an open kiss, with wet moans being stolen with his tongue. His hands settled on your hips, squeezing them gently to urge you to move at your own pace, and a small shift from him was enough for you to start riding him. Your hips rocked back and forth, the car shifting under you with every movement but your wary glances around confirmed that you and he were still alone. Finally, you felt your abdomen tighten and you tugged him away from you. "I'm... haa... I'm almost there," you told him.

"Are you?" His words had a heavy sultry tone to them and you felt his lips trail up your jawline. "Hold it in," he bites down on your neck and you whimpered.

"I don't think... mmph... I don't think I can," your voice mixed with your moans now and his hands tightened on your waist to hold you still.

"You know, I just cleaned this car too," he spoke against your neck. This asshole. "Would be a shame if I had to clean it again," he sighs and lowers you down again, taking full control of you.

"San, please," your hands squeezed his hips and he thrusts into you. "Please, please, please," you begged him. You couldn't hold your orgasm in any longer than you already have.

"Go then," he releases your hips and you grasp onto his shoulders and lean forward, moving up and down his length to reach your orgasm all the while he whispers dirty things. Your pussy slid against his cock, feeling the way he stretched you open with each glide up and down, it was almost too good. The things you would do just to get him to let you sit on his cock forever. "Damn, only I can make you like this, huh?" He grins just as you stilled over him, your orgasm wracking through your body, and him moaning on top of you, staying in place while your pussy tried to pull him in further.

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck," you cursed repeatedly and San flipped you so that your stomach was against the seats and he pistoned into you. "Fuck, oh god, I can't," you shook your head against them now while San thrust into you with enough force that your wetness gushed around his cock. And when you felt his thumb press against your pucker you grabbed onto the seats with a vice grip, then right as you reached your second orgasm he stilled for a moment, letting you ride it out, until he spoke again.

"You ready?"

"Mmhmm," you moaned and he pushed into you.

"Shit..." he let out a breathy moan, while you moaned loudly, not caring if anyone was around to hear you. Your hand moved to your clit, trying to speed up to your next orgasm.

"Ugh, oh god," your hands moved faster and soon, somehow, you were on his lap again, your arms wrapped around his neck and his hands on your waist while he fucked you and you bit down on his shoulder to keep from screaming while the car rocked back and forth and, then, you made a mistake. You opened your eyes.

And Yeosang's jaw dropped.

Immediately, you zipped your mouth shut and San, sensing the sudden unease, stopped all his movements. You and Yeosang were stuck staring at each other for a bit, and carefully, awkwardly, he held up a bag and pointed at it.

"Haa, fuck," you cursed, rolled your eyes, and pointed at San's head. San turned his head just enough to see him, before he looked at you.

"Down?" He asks. He didn't specify what in particular, but with enough context, you were able to piece it together.

"In here?"

"Sure."

"Ugh," you groaned again. "If he is," you finally conceded. You looked out the back window again and, for whatever reason, Yeosang was still standing there. Of all the times to run into him it happened to be when your ex was balls deep into your pussy, of course. Wordlessly, San turned just enough to see him again and raised his hand up, motioning for Yeosang to come in. Yeosang, seemingly, took a deep breath and sighed. He looked at you, showing you a thumbs up and a look as if to ask if it was really okay, and with another roll of your eyes you nodded, and he shrugged, and he walked over. "God, it's about to get so cramped." You grumbled.

"Whatever, not the first time we fucked in this car," San groaned. You made a move to pull off of him, but he held you still while he leaned over and unlocked the car.

"I have, uh, waba grill," Yeosang slides in. "You look hungry, (Y/N)."

"A little, yeah," you nodded.

"Yo, you gonna join us or are you just here to fap?" San leans over to ask him. "Lock the car for me too."

"Yeah, yeah," Yeosang locks the car. "You cool if I join for sure, right?" He asks you.

"Woo might be mad that he's not here," you looked away for a moment.

"Aw, man, Woo doesn't have to know," San reasons.

"Well, whatever," Yeosang tosses his food onto the driver's seat and climbs in the back. "How far are we?"

"Three orgasms... was about to be four until you decided to look in here," you muttered.

"Whoops," Yeo pulls his shirt off and you look away.

"Yo," San whistles lowly.

"You guys suck," you mumbled and San pulled you off of him.

"I'll take a breather, you two have fun," San says. That's... different.

"Huh? You sure?" Yeosang asks and even you were surprised.

"Sure, last time you two get to fuck at least."

"Last?!" You both exclaimed.

"Yup, next time (Y/N) and I'll be official."

"In your dreams, Choi San," you rolled your eyes and turned Yeosang's face toward yours, capturing his lips with yours in an instant. Yeosang matched your rhythm quickly, holding onto your hips with a gentle grip while you moved on top of him.

"Oh," he mumbles. Yup, you both knew it, he was planning something. "Whatever, (Y/N), come here," he pulls you close to him and you press your lips to his.

Okay, you had to admit it, this wasn't the first time you and Yeosang fucked. The first time was because you both got drunk at a party. The second was because he picked you up from a failed date. And the third was now. And yet every time and with every partner, of course, you ended up comparing them to the jackass sitting behind you. Yeosang was gentler in his movements, he had control, easily, but he let you go through the motions. Even now, while you sank your hips onto his, you could feel the motions of him pushing you down too. You held onto both headrests on either side of you when he started to thrust into you, and you fought the urge to clamp your legs whenever he pushed into you just right. Your hands traced up his abdomen, wrapping around either side of his chest while you rode him, in some ways Yeosang was just perfect and if it hadn't been for San then maybe, maybe, this would've felt a little less cruel. Then, you felt San press his hand onto your back and he pushed you down onto Yeosang, close enough that you two nearly fell into a kiss.

"You know, (Y/N)," San whispers in your ear, pressing a small kiss to the shell of it too. "Yeo's had the biggest crush on you since we were kids."

"Come on, man, don't tell her about that," Yeosang's face twists in pleasure. He holds onto you tighter, thrusts becoming more pointed.

"The dude used to cum in socks thinking of you," San laughs. "What do you think? Pussy better than fabric?" San chides.

"San!" You tried to turn to glare at him, but his hand kept your head in place.

"And look at you two now, fucking in the backseat of my car," he continues to taunt. "How's it feel, Yeo?"

"Fuck you, San," Yeosang holds onto your hips tighter and you let out a breathy moan.

"Don't even listen to him," you pressed your lips against Yeosang's, and he kissed back, with both of your hips rolling against each other. Then you felt San's cock rub against you. And when you felt it push against your asshole, you broke off of Yeosang and buried your head in his neck, muffling your moan against his skin. "Fuck," you gripped onto Yeosang's arms and he groaned with every movement. Every time San pushed further into you, you ground down on Yeosang, and with every thrust you moved forward and back between them until he had finally settled in. You lightly chewed on Yeosang's skin, trying to get used to the feeling. Yeosang moaned under you, feeling the difference almost instantly.

"Shit," he clenches his jaw, holding back as much as he could.

"Don't be a little bitch," San growls, wrapping one arm around your torso and pulling you up against his chest, he thrusts into you and you grab onto his arm, your nails digging into his skin with every movement and Yeosang biting down on his hand to stop himself from cumming inside of you. "You cum in her and I'll make sure you regret it, Yeo," San says.

"I'm fucking trying, asshole," Yeosang makes a move to pull out of you but San pushes you down on his cock further.

"Oh god," your hands were on either side of Yeosang now, mind going blank from both cocks moving inside of you. Yeosang pressed open-mouth kisses against your skin, leaving it burning in its path. You turned your head so that you could whisper to him, being sure that only he could hear you.

"Fuck me like you got to me first," you said beneath a moan. Yeosang turns his head to look at you.

"Fuck it," Yeosang shakes his head and grips your thighs, pushing into you at a new pace to match San's, and you fell limp against him, fighting against his own strength to close your legs.

"Attaboy!" San was almost having too much fun with this. "Savor it, lover boy, this is the last time you get to try it." He could be so mean sometimes.

"Fuck! Oh, god, don't stop!" You felt your orgasm building up inside you again, your pussy clenched around Yeosang's cock and your hands dug into his hair while San constantly reminded you that he was there.

"Haa, shit," Yeosang cursed under you. From the way he was moving you could tell he was close and, fuck how amazing it would be to feel him. "Where?" Was all he could get out and, before you could even answer, San pulled you off of him and wrapped his arms under your legs to keep them open.

"Not inside, that's for sure," San said between grunts, he thrust into you at a faster pace now, not being held back by the previous resistance, and your head fell against his neck, just barely able to see through bleary eyes the way Yeosang jerked his cock. You felt your pussy clench around nothing, trying to get some kind of pleasure, any, and luckily Yeosang knew you better than you thought. His mouth wrapped over your clit, tongue circling around the sensitive nub while San continued to fuck into you, and when Yeosang pushed his tongue inside of you you knew you were done for. Your next orgasm hit you hard, so hard that you swear you blacked out for a second before getting pulled back to the reality that was San cumming in your ass. Your legs shook under his hold, and your breaths were heavy and hot. Yeosang sat up, wiping the cum from his chin as he did so.

"No more... I can't..." you shook your head and San pulled out of you slowly, watching the trail of cum follow his dick.

"Yeah, yeah," San was quiet, finally. Yeosang, meanwhile, reached over and grabbed his clothes.

"Well, I'm out," he pulls his shirt on.

"You're leaving already?" You asked with your eyes screwed shut.

"Yeah, exam," Yeosang rolls his eyes, wiping his dick off before shoving it back into his boxers. "Later," he steps into the passenger seat before unlocking the door, he looks back at San. "Also, you're an asshole."

"I know," San holds his hand up until Yeosang leaves. "You staying back here or moving up?"

"Ugh..." you turned so that your head laid on his chest, "can we just stay like this for a bit?"

"Sure," San's hand rests on your back now. "Too hard?"

"Like you care."

"Hey! I'm trying here," his hands rose up momentarily before settling on you again. You pressed a small kiss to his chest.

"Were you telling the truth about Yeo?"

"Oh yeah, big time," he nods.

"That's mean."

"Just how you like it."

"Fuck you."

"So soon?"

"I... ugh..." you closed your eyes again.

General Tag List: @stopeatread @bat-shark-repellant @raeincitizen @umbralhelwolf @yangsrose @kazooms @sadcoffeecritic 

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez fics #ateez x you #ateez x yn #san x reader #san x you #san x yn #ateez smut #san smut #my writings #smut #choi san x reader #choi san x you #choi san x yn #choi san smut

[yelenasvestenthusiast]

savior ; kate bishop

summary: no one should spend valentine's day alone. well, according to kate, anyway. warnings: none. gender neutral if you change like one word, though

you close your eyes, relishing the cool water sliding down your throat. the headache from last night had started to fade, though the cuts still stung.

you rest your head against the kitchen wall and sigh, stretching your neck a bit as an attempt to get rid of the ache in your muscles.

a buzz comes from your kitchen counter, signaling a call. you pick it up, smile at the contact name, and hold the device up to your ear. "what is it, kate?"

"can you open the door please?"

your smile starts to droop. "what door?"

"your door. duh."

"oh, please don't tell me she got in trouble again." you groan, but walk to your front door anyway. once you open it, you're met with kate, clumsily attempting to hold a box of pizza, a bouquet of flowers, a paper bag, and lucky's leash all at once.

"kate!" you exclaim, catching the box of pizza before it reaches the floor. "what-"

you aren't even given the chance to finish your sentence as she strides towards your kitchen, sighing with relief as she puts down her 'packages' on your table and lets lucky run free.

"what's this?" you demand, your hands on your hips.

kate ignores you and brings out a heart-shaped cake from the paper bag, lighting it with pink candles.

"kate."

"this," the archer blows out the flame from her lighter, picks up the bouquet of flowers, and does a little twirl towards you. "is me saving your valentine's."

you glance at your phone, still unlocked on the kitchen table, and see that it is, indeed, fourteenth of february.

you give her a look, followed by a sarcastic, "really?"

kate shrugs. "figured you, as a miserable single person-"

"hey!"

"-would've spent valentines alone. since you're too nice for that, i've decided to spend it with you!"

"you're single too!" you protest, but thankfully accept the flowers.

"exactly. also, take it as an apology for dragging you into whatever last night was."

a beat. and then a smile slowly forms on your face against your will. before you could say anything, kate takes out a slice of pizza. "so. you hungry?"

lucky comes running from wherever he was, and it was only then you realize why the dog looked different. kate had put a bowtie on him.

"kate!" you laugh. you squat down to pet him, feeding him a slice. "aw, you little gentleman. c'mere. you want pizza? yeah? sure you do, you good boy."

"sorry pizza's the most romantic dinner i could get."

"it's fine. really. you have cake and flowers and everything."

she taps her fingers on the tabletop, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth, thinking. you notice her silence and give lucky a last kiss before approaching her. "you okay? you don't look very happy."

"i'm fine. um." kate takes a deep breath. "so, i was.. thinking. that.. i.."

"yeah?" you're listening carefully. you were really grateful for her. she was supposed to be resting at home and yet she'd gone through all this trouble to make sure you weren't alone on valentine's day. much like she made sure clint wasn't alone on christmas.

"that i wanted us to be each other's valentines."

"we technically are, though."

"no, i mean-" she closes her eyes. "not platonically. like, i'm asking you... to be my girlfriend."

"oh."

"but it's okay if you don't want to! i mean, i guess i'm sort of putting pressure on you, buying you stuff and all, but i'm not bribing you! i'm just genuinely asking because i really like you and think you're cool, so-"

you turn her around to face you and shut her up with a kiss.

she melts. immediately. you can feel her body relax into you, her hands tentatively placing themselves on your waist. she kisses back, evidently unsure, so you caress her cheek with the pad of your thumb to assure her that it's okay and you'd meant to do that.

when the need for air arises, you part. kate is grinning. "i'm assuming that means yes?"

"it means definitely."

lucky barks, bringing both of your attention to him. he sits there innocently with his tail wagging and his mouth opened into a dog's version of a smile. you start to laugh, kate following shortly after.

so far, this was the best valentine's day ever.

a/n: happy valentine's day, single or taken :)

#kate bishop #marvel #mcu #oneshot #imagines #kate bishop x reader #kate bishop x male reader #kate bishop x y/n #kate bishop x female reader #kate bishop x you #male!reader #female!reader #gn!reader #hawkeye

[oneforthemunny]

in honor of horny hours yesterday, I would like to remind you all of one of the most successful horny hours we had that brought fics like on your worst behavior and car troubles and switching it up and dripping down ;)

here is an ask I forgot about lol. enjoy :)

ask/ prompt: anon i blame you for making me want to be spanked by bouncer eddie rn :(

do we all just want to be spanked by bouncer!eddie right now???

ok fine.

minors dni 18+

I imagine bartender!reader to have another job outside of the hideout, probably retail or waitressing maybe a nanny, something awful and stressful. eddie's off for the day, lounging around, smoking, catching up on laundry when you arrive. he can tell by your face it's been a bad day.

you don't even ask, just going into his bedroom, rummaging through his top drawer before you find it, the little leather, heart shaped paddle he keeps in there. eddie's brows furrow when he sees it in your hands, watching you set it on the bed before kicking off your jeans into a pile on the floor.

"I had a really bad day." you said with a small pout, eyes rounding up at him nearly begging. "please?"

eddie nods slowly, sitting on the bed before you climb over his lap, easing into his touch. eddie leaves your panties on since it's for your release, not for play or punishment. his heart swells when you reach your hand behind you, palm opening for his. eddie laces his fingers into yours, pinning your hand to the small of your back before running his free hand down your back and the soft skin of your ass.

he starts out firm but slow, building up a rhythm, pressure and burn starting to burn across your ass. small cracks of his hand on your upturned cheeks, watching as you squirm and whine on his lap.

"you're doin' so good. so good 'f me, baby." eddie encourages softly. he won't berate you or lecture you, it's not that kind of spanking. this one is purely for your release, freeing you of all the suppressed emotions of the day.

you bite your lip, eyes pinching shut and cheeks clenching at the pain building. eddie lifts his leg, foot resting on the metal frame of the bed for higher leverage, stopping you from clenching. he picks up the paddle because he knows your close. so close to the flood of tears and emotions being held back by yourself, making your mind drown with damaging, mean thoughts.

the first strike of the paddle makes you gasp, fists clenching into the messy, crumbled sheets. you feel the burn in your throat, chest heavy with the impending release of tears. eddie watches your face through the mirror on his dresser before bringing the paddle down again, alternating cheeks, left and right and left and right until he hears it; the small sob escaping your lips.

he looks down, your face buried into the mattress. eddie hesitates, bringing the paddle down in quick successions until your shoulders are rapidly heaving, cries muffled in the sheets. eddie stops, smoothing a hand over your stinging bottom before gently pulling you up, letting you bury your face into his thick neck, snotty tears and sniffles muted into the gentle skin of his neck.

eddie's hand rubs down your back soothingly, pressing small kisses and praises into your hair line. "good girl, baby, you did so good." he whispered, nose nuzzling into your hair, the scent of your shampoo faintly wafting into his nostrils. "s'good. you're just my good girl, aren't you? let it all out, sweet thing, I gotcha."

he hold you tightly until you've calmed down, shuddering breaths and small sniffles leave you while you tell him about your day, the things that upset you. he listens sympathetically, heart aching when your voice breaks, doting and babying you sweetly.

he usually finishes nights like theses off with him between your legs, licking you and working you with his tongue and fingers until you're a puddle in the mattress, tuckered out with emotions and even more so from release. he finishes himself off in the bathroom, jacking his erection into the toilet paper before flushing it and joining you in the bed, hugging you tightly to his chest.

#oneforthemunny #munnytalks #funsonmunson #bouncer!eddie munson x bartender!reader #bouncer!eddie munson #bouncer!eddie #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x fem!reader smut

[spacebarbarianweird]

Hi, saw your Archfey warlock headcanons and since I made a foul mouthed elven durge who was a great old one warlock can I have some headcanons for Astarion x Great Old One Warlock? Wrote that the eldritch patron relies on her making blood offerings for their pact.

I am playing the Great Old One Warlock in one the DnD campaigns and I am a sucker for Lovecraftian Horror! Couldn't resist to write it!

There is a list o Great Old Ones you can choose as your patron. Ghaunadaur, Dendar, Zargon, Kezef, Moander. All equally ancient, evil and insane.

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x Great Old One Warlock!Tav

Your patron is a mysterious entity whose nature is completely alien to the fabric of reality.

Unkillable and utterly insane.

An eldritch abomination.

You have been cursed with the pact when you were a child.

Something saved your life and made you a warlock.

Erasing your memories in the process.

You have no idea who your patron is.

What is the price of your abilities?

And what will happen to you once you are in debt?

You were cast away from your home.

"You reek of unimaginable horrors," the elders said. "Begone!"

You want to suppress your magic, you don't want to use it.

But here and there you have to protect yourself.

And the creature you belong to grants more and more spells for you to use.

Phantasmal Force, Dominate Person, Summon Aberrations...

In exchange, you lose your sanity.

The madness grasps your mind and forces you to do awful things - murdering, torturing, and using the most disgusting spells on people you love.

By the time you are kidnapped, you've become a hermit, barely speaking to anyone for ages.

"You have this aura of desperation," Astarion notices, trying to get past your guard.

"No way," you bitterly chuckle.

But you like having someone by your side, to forget madness at least for a night.

The patron casts nightmares upon you forcing you to see the Abyss and dimensions so terrifying a mortal mind can't apprehend it.

One night you wake up restrained in Astarion's tent.

The vampire looks terrible, he has burns and bruises, and his hand is broken.

You attacked him in your madness and he barely survived.

"Now you tell me everything. Everything you know," he orders.

You want a break-up. You can't let him die from your hands. He won't become a sacrifice to your evil master.

He brushes it all off. He will help you. You are in this together.

But you need to find who is your master.

Astarion teaches you Abyssal - the language of the evil deities and demons of the Abyss.

"I actually was thinking to summon one of those evil bastards to set myself free. But the language is so profane and cursed I never dared to use it."

You fear to see your master. You have been looking for answers all your life but you know you won't like them.

You make a treaty with Rafael to betray the Emperor but once you try to sign the papers with your blood, the devil refuses to keep the deal.

"You are already bound with the force I don't want to have anything in common. Cazador's profane ritual is just fae magic in comparison with your servitude."

But you can't allow the Emperor to control the Absolute.

You summon your patron, spewing words in Abyssal.

The world around you disappears.

You are floating in the primal darkness.

And you finally see it.

Your master.

Zargon.

The Devourer in the Depths, the Invincible Tyrant.

You aren't told the reasons, the purpose. It's all beyond your comprehension.

You are given the powers to save the world from Mindflayers, but it comes with a price.

Zargon the Returner is back to the Prime.

With you as its loyal devotee and priest.

You lose yourself to madness.

You remember who you are. Who you were. But there is nothing left of the person Astarion fell in love with.

You are someone utterly evil, someone he can't even recognize.

"Are you even the one I loved?"

You force him to stay with you. You can do it as Zargon's warlock.

You stripe Astarion of his freedom, his free will, making him your consort and forcing him to see the horrors you at your patron's orders.

He runs away. At least once a year. You let him do it before sending one of your slaves after him.

"It's not real you. It's not you"

Decades pass and the cult of Zargon spreads through Faerun with its unholy rituals.

Astarion still hopes the person you once was is locked somewhere. He just needs to set you free.

Even if it means challenging the Great Old One.

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume @brainfullofhotsauce @coffeeanddonutscafe

#spacebarbarian headcanon #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 #astarion romance #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion headcanon #astarion headcanons #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion x reader #tav x astarion #dnd warlock #baldurs gate 3 astarion #astarion ancunin #the great old ones

[nothorses]

So have you ever like. Talked to people that were homeschooled? Or did you just read one story online about a cult homeschooling their kids and went "fuck this is awful public school is so much better"?

I was homeschooled until 5th grade and then sent to public school. I lasted until 7th grade before I had to fucking beg my parents to homeschool me again. I was literally waking up for school in the mornings and immediately having a mental breakdown. I was constantly trying to fake being sick so I didn't have to go.

Homeschooling was SO much fucking better. I didn't have to sleep in jeans and a bra and t-shirt so that I was already dressed when I woke up, just so I had time to eat a small bowl of cereal before being forced to leave.

I didn't have to worry about classmates making fun of me behind my back, or my "friends" insulting me or going out of their way to embarass me in front of my crushes.

I didn't have to worry about having a cold or the flu or my period and being forced to go to school and be miserable all day covered in blood and snot.

I didn't have to worry about being given lunch detention because I forgot one book (probably because I have memory issues from severe ADHD)

I didn't have to worry about being overwhelmed with homework. I didn't have to worry about my teachers or classmates making me feel like a fucking idiot because I couldn't do math (wow turns out I have a severe learning disability that somehow no one noticed).

I didn't have to worry about being forced to run the pacer test in gym and not being allowed to rest, resulting in me throwing up.

You can't tell people "omg just because YOU had a bad time in school doesn't mean you're allowed to dislike it!!! Not all public school is bad!"

and then turn around and go "Homeschooling is awful it's just a bunch of religious bigot cultists teaching their children how to be bigots and children never getting to go out and socialize with their peers!!!"

All I learned from public school was:

Keep my fucking mouth shut, do not speak unless spoken to

Don't do anything "weird" or "different" (AKA show signs of having autism)

If you don't stay in school and go to college (AKA put yourself in thousands of dollars of debt in exchange for a piece of paper that doesn't actually guarantee you a job) then you'll die in a ditch somewhere

Don't even bother trying to make friends, they'll just treat you like shit

I was never taught anything useful that I couldn't have just learned by myself at home. I was never taught how to pay bills or what a mortgage is or how to grow my own food or raise my own animals for meat or how credit cards work or how to take care of myself after my parents die.

Public school is there to terrorize children and destroy them mentally until they conform to what society wants, so that they become the perfect unquestioning unthinking cogs in the machine that will work until they die.

It's there to make money for colleges because kids are never taught about trade jobs or making their own businesses/companies, they're taught that college is the be all end all and if you don't go there (and give them your time and money) then you'll become homeless and die.

It doesn't teach you how to think for yourself, it teaches you to shut the fuck up and obey or be punished.

I'm sorry you had that experience with public school, genuinely- and I know you aren't the only one, and this is honestly something I feel really passionate about. Like, actually; a big motivator for getting my Master's in Ed- and likely my Ph.D in Ed after this- has been that it positions me to get involved in a way that I can make larger changes than most classroom teachers might be able to influence.

I'm also really glad that homeschool was a positive thing for you! And I don't believe in outlawing homeschool or anything either; I do think it needs more regulation and resources, and I think there needs to be a wider array of options overall, but like. Given how education has historically been weaponized against indigenous communities to carry out cultural genocide (in the form of boarding schools), I think any laws against homeschooling would just end up repeating that same history.

But like, you can't ignore that homeschool has absolutely been used as a tool of abuse, too. And you can't ignore that abusive families and home environments exist, and you can't just... refuse to acknowledge the push from the conservative right to de-regulate homeschooling & break down public ed in order to further empower them to isolate and brainwash kids.

Hell, you wanna talk about how kids are taught to stop thinking, stop talking, and follow orders? Take a little day trip to a fundamentalist homeschooling network sometime.

You talk about public ed like it's this homogeneously evil entity designed for, and only capable of, abusing kids. But you wanna know what?

My family is abusive! My upbringing was abusive!

And sure, there's a chance they may have been able to pay for private school or something if public school had not been an option- for a few years, anyway. But that's because my grandparents have money, and because my mom was just neglectful enough to want me out of her hair.

I went to three elementary schools, two middle schools, and four high schools. All of those were public schools. Some of them sucked more than others, but all of them offered me:

An escape from home that I needed so desperately that, for a long time, I extended by hiding out at the public library for an extra 3+ hours.

Reliable lunches, even when my mom wouldn't pay for them.

Adults that I could trust, and did trust.

Adult role models and examples of a better future, especially in the queer adults that taught me.

Social connections, one of which was with a current roommate and my best friend.

Directly applicable knowledge and skills: cooking, online research and internet safety, everything I know about safe sex, finances, how to do my taxes, basic governmental structure, local, national, and world history, basic court proceedings, how to navigate colleges/university, (some) critical literacy & critical thinking skills, social-emotional learning, (some) critical race theory...

An array of options for different paths into an adult career: understanding (some) options like trade schools, community college, university, and the military (gross), and why I might choose one of those options vs. going straight into work.

Examples of and exposure to different & diverse ways of being, from home lives, to cultures, to queerness, to experiences I would never have firsthand.

Like, I have definitely grown up in pretty progressive areas & school districts, and that's a big part of it (though the conservative-leaning school I went to was also the school where my creative writing teacher read us a short story that he wrote about some gay star-crossed truckers).

These schools exist, and these experiences exist, and it's silly to dismiss them out of hand because your one stint into public school once was a nightmare.

And it's worse to dismiss the resource that these places are to so many families & kids. It's free childcare, it's one sure meal every day, it's community, it's exposure to diversity.

The practical alternative to that, for a lot of poor families, is child labor.

You don't have to like public education. I certainly have mixed feelings on it, and understanding & addressing the deep-seated problems in it are, like, the cornerstone of my life's work at this point.

What you should do, imo, is learn to recognize when you might not have all the context and information you need to make a judgement call like "destroy public education forever", look around at the people saying what you're saying & why they might be saying it, and perhaps consider listening to the people who have already been doing the work you've assumed is impossible.

#education #I dont know what yall are trying to do here #this is my full-time WHOLE LIFE dude! #like I love talking about it but why are you approaching this like you know more than anyone else does? #lets talk like adults!!!