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faeriekit · 4 months

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"Okay." Danny slowly laid the already cold body back onto the table, ready to slide back it into the refuge of cold storage. "Okay. Dead guy. Stay there."

The body didn't move.

"Fantastic. Now. Hang out while I pour the embalming fluid into the pump, alright? It should only be a minute."

And it usually did; working in a funeral home wasn't extremely glamorous, but it paid the bills, and Danny had already been used to the rhyme and rhythm of negotiating death with the public by the time he sent in his mortuary school application. It had been a transition that made sense. And in the end, the degree had only cost him a few extra years post-graduation and a little dig into student loans, and now Danny had a stable 12-8 job and health insurance valid in the state of new jersey.

Today, though, the pump had that decided enough was enough. With a bang and a boom, the pump spat out a cloud of smoke and clunked uncomfortably.

The dead body sat up.

Danny scrambled over to push it back down. "No. We talked about this. Dead people don't move. If you want to stay here and have me put you back together all the time, you have to stay put. Got it?"

Whatever the weird gold-eye corpses were on in Gotham, they at least listened to him on occasion. They weren't ghosts, per se— they never pinged on any of the ghost detection devices Mom and Dad had packed in his going-away-to-college bag— but they were, despite being occasionally animate, perfectly deceased.

Weird. Danny had never gotten used to it. Still, they came in droves, too eager to sit on the top of the basement stairwell and lurk in the corners and stare endlessly at them with their weird, avian eyes, and sometimes they heralded the arrival similarly weird-ass bodies that had lost their heads or their arms or their limbs through the more conventional channels.

"I'm losing too much thread to all y'all coming in all the time," Danny complained to the dead body, who, at the moment, was the only person present to blame. "Stop getting your limbs cut off. This stuff is expensive, you know. It's a specialty order."

The body didn't even have the courtesy to blink. Rude.

"At least let them bury you this time. Every time one of you darts off when my back's turned, my boss thinks I'm stealing corpses. My coworkers think I'm building my own Frankenstein or something."

The corpse neither verbalized nor blinked, but Danny hadn't expected it to; with a sigh, he rolled the corpse back into cold storage, locked its little door (not that locking it in had ever stopped it) and called it quits for the night.

It's not like anyone was paying him for the extra hours anyway.

#I'm very pro Danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of Talons #people have definitely done it before but this scene came to me in a vision #a horrible caffeinated vision #could absolutely be an excuse for #talon!dick #talons #dp x dc #faer fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #talon!au #dcu crossover #death tw #well. the funeral industry anyway #medical tw #just in case #corpse tw #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#free to a good home

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propagated-fern · 8 months

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7 Sept 23

Been in Ulster today and it looks incredible!! They didn't have all the sessions that I'd have liked 😔 but it was still so fun and interesting listening in on other subject sessions (like criminal justice!). Architecture sounded amazing and I just love the way they work the course 🤩!

Would it be too nerdy for me to just attend university lectures for the rest of my life?? (yes.) (but I don't care.) Like how amazing would it be to spend 3 years learning about biochemistry 🧫 maybe working for a few years in the industry, then going into architecture 🏘 then studying to be a mortician ⚰️ and a physicist 🪐!!!! Oh to learn forever I'd give anything! How else is my insatiable soul meant to live??

"And didn't they say that, although curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought the beast back?" -Stephen King

#ulster #belfast #uni student #criminal justice #architecture #biochemistry #mortuary science #physics #education #learning #knowledge #curious #curiosity killed the cat #stephen king

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summercreolefanfictioner · 7 months

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diabolik lovers modern college au general headcanons (sakamaki brothers)

• the sakamaki bros don't live in the same house, except for the triplets bcos cordelia is the only legal wife of karl in this au (she's the first wife after all)

• shuu lives in one of beatrix's old condo unit while reiji in one of karl's mini house (yeah he has that house all by himself bcos kaaaaarl)

• subaru lives in the university dorm bcos he doesn't like relying on karl (well except for christa's meds bcos she went insane and all that sht so karl might as well pay for that)

• despite going to the same university, the six of them don't cross paths often (except for the triplets and subaru bcos they like to rile him up and tease him endlessly like a torture)

• since this is modern college au, all characters are aged up (shuu is 22, reiji is 21, the triplets are 20, and subaru is 19)

• despite being the oldest, shuu is stuck in his second year bcos he kept repeating most of his law electives (he would rather slack off than pass his law course wtf and it usually takes around 4-5 yrs to finish)

• all bros were mandated by karl to take at least one business elective per year bcos they might be working under his corporation in the near future (ayato's major is business so he has no escape)

• reiji is an exception to this rule bcos he had been granted by karl to focus only on neurosurgery since "he's the only son who doesn't disrespect me" (tbh it was only a ruse by karl since he has no reasons to make reiji his heir despite him being a genius 💀💀💀)

• ayato is so famous in the university like his red hair stands out and his status as the university's most popular basketball player made him the school IT boy

• but bcos he's a varsity player, he's not often at school so he had to take weekend classes (this is also another reason why most of his exes are either girls who watched his game or they're students from other univ or college)

• his famous relationship tho was with a rich girl who's also the main dancer of a popular cheerleading squad from a rival school (ayato broke up with her due to the immense pressure of social media and her fans)

• ayato is also the eternal chauffer of his two bros like hello let him flaunt that red sports car baby (laito and kanato have their own cars; they just don't like driving that much)

• kanato studies forensic mortuary in the same bldg as ayato and reiji; the law bldg is a separate institution from them so they have no idea what shuu was doing

• except for kanato bcos he likes lounging in the music room singing scarborough fair and bcos his voice is so relaxing, shuu listens to it for free (kanato secretly hates that shuu does it tho bcos it reminds him too much of cordelia and her shtty ways of traumatizing him)

• laito is studying hotel and restaurant management on another bldg and it's the farthest one from all his bros (like you have to pass by 4 or 5 larger bldgs before you reach their institution)

• this is bcos ryoutei university has their own dedicated hotel and restaurant for students with courses related to said industry

• so yeah maya (aka my oc/kanato's s/o) sees laito more often than her own boyfriend in the campus

• laito always has exes in every course like there would be 3 or 4 girls under the same course that have already slept with him what a slut

• and yes there is a huge possibility laito, subaru, and shuu have dated the same girl bcos these three would only date the same type of girl (the pure looking one who secretly has lewd desires and digs bad boys like them)

• it was a shock for yui when she found out half of the girls from her class have slept with laito

• then laito told her he likes corrupting pure girls and toying with their minds until they become insane and dependent on him (sounds canon, no?)

• there was a time when laito dated one of kanato's professors and she ended up dealing with kanato's incessant and murderous glares every time she teaches their class. his reason? bcos "she reeks so much of that perverted laito"

• the sbros actually had this same english prof who randomly fails someone despite their intelligence bcos he likes exerting his power like that

• while some of them threaten him using the sakamaki name, kanato had to disguise as a girl and seduce the sht out of this perverted teacher (the old geezer was so hooked he just believed this girl was kanato's twin substituting for his bro bcos he was 'sick')

• speaking of which, subaru got attracted to kanato's alter ego like once upon a time he saw her daintly pick up her bag and tuck her hair behind her ear and boom heart arrows everywhere

• afterward, subaru asked kanato who was that one chick at his class with the long black hair dressing like a sexy lolita

• "oh, you mean me?"

• subaru had nightmares after that

• and yes kanato uses that info to blackmail him to do his bidding

• "if you don't do what I say, I'll tell everyone you fell in love with my alter ego"

• oh btw subaru's major is more on athletics? like he wanted to be a PE or sports instructor/coach in the future bcos accdg to him "fighting is the only thing I'm good at"

• his allowance is mostly spent on repairs on the dorm tho (guess punching walls ain't limited in the family house)

• the reality of his dream is beginning to weigh on him tho bcos some students are scared shtless of him and his violent tendencies

• laito became one of his students one time when he was assigned to be an assistant coach

• "waaahh subaru-kun your expression is so scary pls be gentle"

• reiji actually dated someone from ayato's class bcos her father has huge connections with famous neurosurgeons

• shuu keeps a video of one of his exes doing some cowgirl sht on him (he likes her moans that's why)

• all of kanato's exes studied in the same bldg as him; and yes, they are all from yui's course but each of them from different years and classes (he is picky like that)

• up to this day, reiji looks down on this one female classmate who dated shuu like what does she see in that good-for-nothing (well uhh his huge d-)

• accdg to both kanato and laito, yui is the loudest girl ayato has been with (kanato swore one day he'll stuff her mouth with socks until she chokes if she keeps moaning so loud while he's watching his fave murder docu series)

• ayato keeps teasing both reiji and subaru as virgins (they aren't tho; but despite their tough facade, their experiences are quite hmmm minimal so there are things they don't know)

• shuu almost dated this one classmate of kanato (almost bcos she keeps talking abt those dead people she handled with formaldehyde which is gross so he was turned off a bit)

• the triplets are usually the representatives of karl during his corporate and family parties (sometimes the other three will drop by... well mostly reiji but the other two must've been forced by karl somehow)

• there was a drunk scandal video of the triplets and subaru where subaru was driving while kanato and ayato kept making fun of him

• then kanato was video calling maya and asking her to come over and "watch a movie with him" while ayato was making delusions of aliens flying around the car, almost causing subaru to drive the wrong way

• laito was sitting beside subaru, reprimanding ayato to stop his delusions bcos there were no aliens but only flying trees (ayo what?)

• there's a part 2 but this time shuu and reiji were in the car and shuu kept laughing at ayato bcos subaru's driving is getting messed up bcos of the alien shenanigans

• and reiji was crying bcos apparently all of them are going to die and also bcos kanato is finally talking "properly" to a girl (what do you mean properly he is being a pervert)

• he also said "laito has finally seen the light and started being the good son"

• yui is actually the one filming all this videos tho

ps. I might make memes abt modern college au later on

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mortuarymorticia · 2 months

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─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

02.29.2024.

first week of my spring classes are done!

[ 🧪 ] embalming chemistry.

[ 🧾 ] accounting essentials.

[ 🗣️ ] sociology of death.

i’m enjoying my classes a lot & i’ve got some really good study groups already in motion. it’s a big, big bucket load of work this term, but i’m gonna make it happen.

[ study affirmation of the week: ] i am succeeding in all my areas of study.

left to do:

✎... make quizlet for sociology.

✎... sociology paper.

✎... sociology discussion replies.

✎... embalming chemistry homework.

✎... notes for all three classes week 2.

🎧: beautiful things - benson boone.

📖: natural beauty - ling ling huang.

🌲: sitting outside on our patio.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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hometoursandotherstuff · 8 months

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Iris shared a few photos of this beautiful Plattsburg, New York Victorian home that they got for pretty cheap….probably because of its history as a funeral home for almost 50 years. The embalming room and casket lift are still part of the house, and all the bedrooms were originally used as showing rooms. Knowing that there’ve been thousands of dead bodies in here would creep out most people, but as a mortuary student Iris fell in love with it the first time they saw it.

Here's Iris sitting in the entrance hall. How gorgeous is this?

How inexpensive could this have been? Look. It has an Inglenook in the grand hall.

It's pristine.

The sitting room. It looks like it may have come with the furniture. That fireplace and the sideboard are beautiful.

The dining room has an exposed wall of brick.

So, this bedroom was a viewing room?

This is the old lift.

Basement embalming room.

Updates: Progress on the bathroom floor.

"Something weird happened in the morgue under my house the other night…" It's not specified what, but gee, this looks creepy.

"I saw like .00000001 of an inch of white sticking out behind an old mercury thermostat still in the wall. I took it down (carefully) and found THIS! ORIGINAL WALLPAPER!" What a wonderful experience, isn't it?

via Nightmare on Zillow Street / Facebook

#former victorian mortuary #victorian houses #other stuff

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neuroprincess · 11 months

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Zelda Spellman 🙈 🌄 🚨 🎁 plsss and thanks

Quick headcanons NSFW;

🙈 something they’re shy about asking for

Zelda isn't shy about much, not easily, she's very uninhibited in bed and doesn't mind asking for something new, whether it's sexual position, toy or a kink she's just discovered and wants to try. But the ginger will blush from her cheeks to ears when asking you if you can have something softer or just cuddle lovingly after a rough session. She doesn't call it being shy, she's just...not used to it.

"Shut up!" she whispers laying down between your naked boobs, both of you are like this, sweaty skin and fatigue bringing you down after a few rounds "Now hug me."

"Just ask for it." you respond with a smile on lips as you wrap her in your arms, stroking the wavy hair as Zelda adjusts to the physical contact.

"Y/N, don't make me..." she lifts her gaze and faces you, you smile as you notice the blush taking over her pale face again, she has puppy dog eyes and doesn't even notice "Can you hug me so we can sleep?" she asks and immediately hides the face against your boobs, feeling burning with shame for finally having the courage to ask.

"Anything you want, darling."

🌄 morning sex headcanon

She is the one who always wakes up first, usually when you wake up the bed is already empty and Zelda is on the first floor, ready for the day. On quiet days she will be getting ready in front of the dressing table, smiling as she watches you in the mirror's reflection.

But saturdays are different, instead of waking up alone you are slowly awakened by kisses being spread across the neck and soft hands sneaking under the blankets caressing your hips, warm breaths making skin shiver. The witch smiles, nibbling on it as her hand enters your pajamas, playing with the nerve, slow teasing movements. She leans in and takes your lips from hers, the other hand latches onto your boob squeezing gently, long elegant fingers are inside and soon you find yourself rubbing against her desperately seeking release. You cum in her hand and Zelda brings fingers up to her mouth, tasting you.

"You're fucking hot..." she places herself on top of you, thighs pinning your waist against the mattress, your pussies accidentally rub against each other and you moan unconsciously "Good morning, my love!" the ginger smiles in a way that you know the morning has just begun and you're not getting out of bed that early.

🚨 sex that sent me to the ER headcanon

It's no surprise that the witch enjoys wild sex and frequently, this totally pays off as she is a master at aftercare. Tonight was a little different, the students were real brats and administrative problems with the mortuary are giving her a headache, Zelda is frustrated and there is no better way to get rid of that by taking out on you. When she came home snorting and banging heels angrily against the floor you knew what was coming, fifteen minutes later you are in the bedroom on knees as your wife fucks you rough with the strap-on, having to hold you by the waist to keep you in place as each thrust practically throws you forward, so you have to hold on to the headboard too. She is being more wild than usual. Suddenly her hand slips from around your waist in a rougher thrust and you can't keep holding on to the headboard, in a second you are moaning in pleasure and the next in pain.

"Y/N..." she whispers seeing the blood on the sheets, getting out inside you carefully and turning around to check you are conscious, to her relief yes "For Satan, your head."

You hit your head on the wooden headboard hitting hard on the textured part, hard enough to open a bleeding cut, the red liquid dripping down your temple and leaving a frighteningly bloody sight. If it was someone else she would clean right there and take care of it with her bare hands, but Zelda couldn't touch you in that state, especially when you moaned and she was afraid of hurting you even more.

"Hildaaaaa!" she shouts after getting rid of the toy and dressing the two minimally decent, the whole time the witch tried to keep you conscious.

Soon the other witch joins the mess without any questions, she helps clean up the cut while Zelda watches you behind her sister, worried when she sees that the injury isn't as superficial as she imagined. She doesn't even wait for Hilda to say something to carry you to the car, the blonde just goes behind helping to keep you awake and staunching blood with a cloth.

"Y/N will be fine, we had to do five stitches and the hit caused a mild concussion, so don't be alarmed if she has nausea, headache and light sensitivity. I will write a prescription for pain meds and it's good to keep her at rest." the doctor said to the sisters after attending to the younger girl "Now, how exactly did this happen? It's a pretty bad cut."

Zelda and the doctor face each other silently, but it's Hilda who blushes and gives the situation away while her sister tries to look nonchalant, keeping quiet not wanting to expose her wife, she doesn't feel embarrassed, sex is a natural thing, but she doesn't know how Y/N would react to the doctor knowing how they came to this situation.

"Ohhh! Right..." the doctor blushes as well "I just wanted to rule out the possibility of domestic violence." Zelda opens her mouth to argue, extremely offended that she would even think of that possibility, despite all her faults the witch would never touch Y/N in this way. And is interrupted before she could tear her apart with words "Sorry! You can see her now."

"Great!"

🎁 birthday sexy headcanon

Zelda isn't a big fan of birthdays, especially for herself after over 500 birthdays, but she understands if it's important for you and will make this date something special as a couple. Not a typical day, instead of waking up alone or caressed by the witch, you will wake up sweating and feeling yourself shaking all over as she works between your legs, skillful tongue circling your clit, fingers teasing your entrance provocatively and within minutes of waking up you have first orgasm of the day. Then she rises until your faces are inches apart and kisses you, making you taste yourself on her lips.

"Good morning, my birthday girl." she whispers before kissing you again.

And the day is full of little surprises...and teases. Breakfast is served on a tray in bed with everything you love to eat, but you almost choke when hungry green eyes stare at you and perfectly red-painted lips linger biting succulent strawberries. A sight of the demons. Then you find a small velvet box inside a box of chocolates and in it is a necklace adorned with your favorite stone. This is just the first gift in a sequence of small gifts scattered around the house, among them a pair of fuzzy handcuffs you had to hide from Ambrose who passed by the room, knowing he would tease you, some aphrodisiacs you always wanted to try and a pair of lingerie you find in the dresser, you examine the piece in hand and when looking back you find the witch staring at you with lust in eyes. It's beautiful, in a dark red, the fabric is soft, there are lace details, the bra is exactly your size and seems to be the kind that makes the breasts look big, the set has a garter belt. And you wear this to go to a dinner party organized by the Spellman family, hidden by an discreet dress that is also her gift, Sabrina and Ambrose talk animatedly without even noticing you blushing and struggling to pay attention to what they say, Zelda has a hand on your thigh under the table the whole time, fingers slowly moving up as time passes until reaching the edge of your panties. Smiling smugly as she realizes how wet you already are, then she just pulls her hand away and finishes the meal as if nothing is happening.

"Finally alone." she murmurs between the kiss and closes the door behind her as she guides you to the bed.

"They were lovely, but I confess I was looking forward to them going to sleep." you whisper back, anxious hands trying to unbutton the fancy dress and seeking to pull her closer and closer "Zelds..."

"Anxious we are, huh?" the witch gives you a quick kiss before pulling away and undressing, within seconds you are both in your underwear, she looks at you lewdly staring at every inch of naked skin, curve and detail.

The next moment you are in bed, her curvy body on yours, thigh between legs and one hand entwining yours while the other reaches for your pussy desperate for attention, lips moving in sync, it's deep and passionate. You gasp in surprise as you feel the fabric of the underside being ripped in two.

"Don't be so surprised, you should know by now that I bought it just to rip that from your body."

Fingers rub your clit in slow circles, ignoring your pleas for her to go faster and make you cum, the ginger just smiles biting your bottom lip between the kiss, you feel her lips wander from there to the neck where she leaves soft kisses and hickeys on the sweet spot that makes you shiver with desire, hips swaying in search of more contact. Without warning she thrusts two fingers into you pulling out a sobbing sigh, her palm is against the nerve bundle rubbing together with each thrust. The pace is slow, not because she wants to be gentle (unless you want to be) but because she wants to make you ask for it. Gradually the pace increases, the thrusts become sloppy and rough, a hand squeezes your boob and fleshy lips make a mess in the curve of your neck, it's too much to handle, soon you collapse in the woman's arms surrendering to an intense orgasm.

"Happy birthday my love!" she whispers leaning on her elbow, still inside you "I'm here to make your wishes come true tonight, what do you want now?" Zelda winks mischievously.

In short, if it's Zelda's birthday, she'll act as if it's just a normal day, almost a random date. But she knows that you will want to celebrate and nothing better than to have you in lingerie and a bustier waiting in her bed, the ginger will not let you leave the room, keeping you on water, fruit, kisses and many orgasms. She may try to beat the number of orgasms she can give you and you can give to her just for fun.

#zelda spellman x reader #headcanon #female reader #prompt list #zelda spellman

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avesgraveyard · 6 months

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the way i am this close to learning everything i possibly can about mortuary science so i can write about batshit crazy, clueless, absolutely zero interaction skills, dead-body, biology loving evan rosier and the little meet-cute he and absolute scum-of-the-earth, charismatic, fuck-boy, literally lives in A PIT, kleptomaniac, art-history student (but only because he thought it would be easier and wanted to spite his father) barty. i can see them before my eyes.

#i saw another cc talk about mortuary science evan #but i cannot for the life of me remember or find who #so someone let me know #because they are so correct #and i may just write this #rosekiller #rosekiller fic #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #barty crouch jr x evan rosier

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lazymonth · 2 months

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Amazing Spider-man and Electro roles swap AU‼️

The AU has a idea from this post from official Spider-verse twitter drawing Jamie Foxx as Spider-man and they put a lot of Electro references on him. It’s gives me a good concept. I’m also thinking about their name too. Probably “ Web-zap ” and “ Arachnida ”

Story for Max and Peter in this AU —>

Web-zap : Max Dillon is an electronic engineer in Oscorp. Even Max is a genuine guy and helps them with electricity a lot but people aren’t care about him much and see him as one of the employees. One day Oscorp sent Dillon into the room that they said the lights inside that room is broken, he doesn’t ask anything much cause it’s just another normal days for him

But as soon as he enters the room it’s full of weird spiders spinning webs everywhere, Oscorp says it’s a laboratory for experimentation with spiders and their webs. He couldn’t see it well because of the darkness but Max still keeps doing his job to fix the stuff when he turns around one of the spiders already crawling on him… Max was shock and smack that spider but he doesn’t know that spider bite him already

When Max comes to his apartment he feels weird. Hungry than usual and feeling sick he thought he’s just tired… But when he wakes up the next day everything changes. Dillon’s hands keep sticking to things and the light around the room also gets weirdly turned on and off. Max was confused but he know that he got the superpowers now

Max always wanted to help people so he tried to be a hero for this city. First he makes little homemade suits but it doesn't go well when using them in the real situation so, he needs to make a new one that is more flexible and has more style. Max sneak in that spider laboratory again and steal some of those spider web for making web shooters alongside with his bioelectricity power

And that’s… Web-zap

Arachnida : Peter Parker was a photographer for Daily Bugle but sadly he couldn’t make much money from that. Growing up being nerd and always get bully by other students in school make Parker no self-confidence since he was a kid but he’s always wanted to help people and become hero just like his idol Web-zap

Until one day Daily Bugle sent him to go take a picture inside Oscorp but some accident happened when Peter almost got hit by a truck luckily Web-zap saved him. He says Peter is an important person and his eyes and ears Parker was full of joy that time and really believe they’re friends now. After that Peter quickly go to Oscorp to take a picture but before do anything he found a secret laboratory that full of spiders, Peter thinks the picture of Oscorp’s secret lab could make so much money for him so he wants hiding inside Oscorp until it’s night time when everybody go home now

Soon Peter sneaks inside that room and quickly takes a lot of pictures but things don’t go well when he hits stuff inside the room and makes the spiders panic. hundred of spiders starting cramping up all over his body and bite him again and again cause pain until Peter black out

When he woke up again Peter found out he’s in a mortuary in Oscorp and worst of all his body turned into a human spider monster. Full of confusion Parker quickly escapes from Oscorp and runs to time square to find some help but everyone is scared of him, soon the police arrive and try to shoot at him. Luckily Web-zap comes to stop them first and tries to convince Peter to calm down but not for long when someone is shooting at him and then.. Everything went wrong. Peter thought everyone wanted to kill him and started panic and attack everyone with his organic web

But not for long Web-zap coming to stop him and send him to Ravencroft. Everyone in that palace calls him a monster every day. It makes Peter's personality change to something else full of anger. But something unexpected happens when someone comes to help him, his old best friend Harry Osborn. Harry coming to make a deal to help him breaking into Oscorp and he’ll help Peter break out of Ravencroft for Peter Herry is the only person now he trust and of course Peter answer it

For now he’s no longer Peter Parker, he used the name people in Ravencroft call him like a joke. Arachnida

#marvel #spider man #spider man au #au #amazing spider man #amazing spider man 2 #peter parker #electro #max dillion #harry osborn #screenshots redraw #procreate #procreateart #procreatedrawing #drawing

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