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lovely-necromancy · 3 years

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A Cure for Insomnia Ch 17

Living with the Cowell's is going about as well as you'd expected it to go. In other words it's more or less a disaster for your mental health. Which is ironic considering you didn't put this much stress on yourself when you were sure a stalker was watching you.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the stalker didn't own your house and wasn't in your personal space at every turn.

You'd honestly been expecting Little Jo to be the biggest space invader but Dia and Nate were constantly hovering around you. Nate had taken up the other spare room, or rather his room away from home, the minute he heard you'd be staying with the Cowells. He's made it his job drive you to and from work for the past two days and you both take breaks together now closing the store when you do. Then the second you cross the threshold Dia is right by you either asking for some help cooking or rushing you off for hobby time in the sitting room. It's like living in a 1920's story book, minus the extreme prejudice you would've faced.

It's only been two days and you can't find a way to ask for more space. You tried asking to go on a walk earlier and it turned into a partial jog with Nate. You really just need a moment to yourself it's been five or six days since you last had some 'me' time. All your nerves are shot and you are just a few minor inconveniences away from snapping at someone.

And it would not be a smart idea to nap at your boss. Your boss who's been so considerate and helpful offering his support to you through this whole mess of a situation.

Nonetheless you need space and your own clothes. Nate's don't fit you properly and they're uncomfortably itchy against your skin. His detergent is also very smelly, more in the chemical sense than in a bad sense. Though it could be a bad sense considering the headache you've had the past day from the over bearing smell. You know it won't end well for you but you desperately need to go back home and grab your own clothes and maybe even your car.

Having the illusion of more freedom would put you more at ease.

After all it isn't like you want to knowingly put yourself in harms way, you just can't stand the suffocation any longer. That's why you decided to bring it up during dinner, and why you are now sat in the tensest atmosphere this table has possibly ever experienced.

“Installation ain't done yet.” is Big Jo's gruff response.

It's as if that short sentence gave everyone premission to breathe again.

“I'm not planning to stay, I just need my own clothes.” you press.

Nate glances over to you before placing his fork to the side, “Then why do you need your car?”

“I'd just feel more comfortavle if I had it.....y'know instead of just relaying on you for rides.” you gesture around to the table trying to get someone yo come to your defense.

Big Jo pinches the bridge of his nose, it's been a stressful week for him as well. You don't mean to be ungrateful in this scenario but you are Autistic and the routine you've spent months carving out for yourself is being ruined. You are wearing smelly itchy clothes and need to have something you have control over. Not to mention you're the one who actively experienced the home invasion and were sat in a hospital for two days.

Big Jo can deal with you asking to go collect your thing, as far as you're concerned anyway. You're at least entitled to that much.

Dia puts her hand on Jo's arm and he sighs, “Fine, if Nate takes you. You can go to the cottage.”

“Tio, they can't have the car.” Nate is wildly failing his arms and motioning to you as he explains that you're a known flight risk.

Great, nothing's been resolved and you are back to a tense dinner in the Cowell's home.

“Fine I won't take the car, just lemme give it to someone to watch it for the...the what's it gonna be a week?” directing the question to Big Jo who's been handling the security detail for your home.

He gestures in a so-so manner.

“Yea, just lemme give it to someone to watch for the week.” you pause before throwing your hand up, “Because let's face it none of us have any idea where those two are now, and they could've easily tampered with my car.”

That was the worst possible thing to say because the second you finish you sentence the table erupts into chaos. Dia and Little Jo voicing their concerns over you driving your car, Big Jo and Nate all but forbidding you from driving and you trying to find some sort of compromise.

“What if we had it towed to Whistle's? Nate takes me there after work and we make sure nothing's wrong with my car.” looking around the table at the mixed reactions before you.

“I'll call Lewis for a tow in the morning and you both can go after work.”

“thank you.” you say relieved that you can finally gain back control over your life. Maybe get a little bit of space a long with it.

Everyone calms down and goes back to eating. The air is still so tense you could practically cut it but without your constant stirring it seems to settle. The rest of the night goes by uneventfully, you've changed into some pajamas and are ready to lay awake staring at the ceiling for hours.

The antsy energy you've been building up these past few days have left you without sleep. Tomorrow the hallucinations will probably start up, you wonder if they'll be worse thanks to your healing concussion. Hallucinations aside, your real problem is being alone with your thoughts for the next seven or eight hours.

You have nothing to occupy your mind with and thus nothing to help block out the invasive thoughts.

You'd finished the TAZ graphic novels while you were still at the hospital. The Cowells had taken you straight to their home after you got discharged, so you hadn't been able to grab your switch or any smaller art supplies.

Ultimately knowing that all this was for your safety and benefit you understand them wanting to keep you away from your home. The sight of you attack. Even a supply run could prove dangerous. Try telling that to your restless and bored mind. Constantly feeling like one of the undead wandering around aimlessly with no real purpose has certainly not done anything good for your mental health The lack of stimulation was definitely making it harder to mask and not just explode in frustration. To just let loose and rage at everything: from the situation to your stalkers, hell even to Jo and yourself. The after the brief flash of rage it would be washed away by the overwhelming guilt you felt about being in this web and dragging everyone around you into it. Whether directly or indirectly.

Safe to say, it is not good to be alone with your thoughts right now.

And it is with that restless energy that your night of staring at the ceiling turns into a morning of staring at the ceiling. Until a knock at your door signals the start of breakfast. A routine you've recently become apart of while staying with the Cowells. Getting ready for the day you make your way to the dining room, not before steadying your nerves and static filled mind with a long and drawn out huff of air.

Not quite cathartic enough to be viewed as a sigh.

And with that you begin you day.

The morning fades into late afternoon and you find yourself in the shop a little before close, just looking through the isles. A vaguely human figure, much too tall to truly be an actual person, had brushed past Nate and into one of the isles. Honestly you're sure it's one of your hallucinations but you still have to double check the isles before you finish locking up the shop. Today had been really slow and you can only recall a handful of patrons throughout the day, though you haven't been with it enough to actually hace much accuracy on that statement.

Nevertheless you are searching for stragglers, thankfully you find none. Really hoping to get out and to Whistle's soon, then home to grab things that'll keep you occupied. Things that are finally yous; actual comfortable clothes, that smell like you too. Eyes blinking in rapid succession at your near giddy nerves.

For once your tic helps you vision, you're able to catch the book laid on its side. Its cover a deep russet nearly matching the shelf in color, you'd have missed it if it weren't for the inverted shapes that pressed themselves into your eyelids almost burning the scenery into your memory. Picking the book up you try to discern where it had come from.

Upon further inspection it appeared to be more of a journal. Half written in English with margins made out it – was that German? Yeah that was definitely German, the Eszetts is way too distinctive for it to be any other language. Poorly drawn out sketches littered several pages as you flip past them. Until you see a familiar but scrathy image. It's of a symbol a circle with an 'x' through it.

As you look at the jagged lines you can't really place where you've seen this symbol before. It's so familiar but the ringing bells do nothing to help you remember where you've seen this symbol. Flipping further in you catch sight of a drawing of a being that is slim and taller than the trees. Wasn't that the figure you'd seen moments before? Right as you were doing you check for customers? You're beginning to think this shop's haunted.

“Hey YN, coast clear?” The sound of Nate's voice stops you from inspecting the book any further.

Placing it back on the shelf and nestling it in between to larger books you turn and head out of the isle.

“Yea, no customers.”

“C'mon then, I don't want to be out all night.”

Rolling your eyes at Nate's exaggeration, Whistle's probably wouldn't take more than an hour tops and you won;t take long gathering your things from the house – you follow Nate out the door.

Waiting close behind him as he locks up. One thing about the attack is you've become hyper aware of your surroundings and are nearly always on high alert now when you're out in the open like this. Luckily in most spaces you had already noted the number of exits and where to find them. Having to plan escape routes ahead of emergencies might not be the healthiest mentality but it's kept you sane throughout this ordeal. Thank you American public school system.

When you get to the auto shop you see a familiar ticcing brunette talking to a group of mechanics as he leans on your car.

“Who the hell is that?” Nate says squinting at Toby who's practically laid out across the hood of your car.

Weird, haven't they met yet? Toby did hang out at the shop for an entire day. Had Nate not noticed him then? What about the picnic? Before you can say anything Nate's already out of the car and shouting something to the group. Most of the men standing around tense up as Nate storms up to them.

But you catch the dead look in Toby's eye, the other is still horribly out of commission. Honestly without your glasses faces blur from so far away but it's undeniable that there isn't a light reflecting in his eye. Nate seems to be directing his lecture to Toby who doesn't appear to do anything. He's like a big old house cat, tired and done with everyone's shit if they aren't actively feeding him.

Sighing you exit the car, your only real thought is defusing your Karen.

You aren't at all surprised when Toby locks onto the movement of you walking towards the group. The man perks right up and lifts himself off your car in one fluid motion. He's so agile, just like a cat. You can't help but smile a bit at the connection automatically reaffirming with yourself that Toby would totally push over a precariously placed glass of water.

“Hey, wh-mrrow-what'd you bring the car in for?” Toby asks side stepping Nate, completely ignoring the older man.

“Huh – oh, yea boss wanted it checked out to make sure it wasn't like tampered with – I guess. Y'know after the accident.” you know the mechanics probably know what happened to you, you do live in a small town after all. Gossip stops for no one. But you do have control over details and talking about the incident and you won't be letting go of that any time soon.

Toby's one good eye darkens as he nods, “Gotcha, well it's fine even had Jess take it for a drive. Drove fine. Fixed that weird clicky thing it did on left turns, you're welcome.”

Hah, during the drive through Franklin Toby lost it after two left turns. He noticed the clicking sound your car would make, oddly only on left turns, and started bitching about it to you. At the time you just thought he was being funny when he'd complained you needed to take it in to the shop to fix that. Guess he wasn't. But what's the point of fixing something so trivial?

You cross your arms and are about to sass Toby about how unnecessary that was when Nate interrupts.

“Well since the car's cleared we'd better go settle the bill with Lewis.”

“No need, no parts to replace plus my free labor.” Toby looks away from Nate and back to you “It w-w-was so sl-o-ow-w so I told the old man we were dating and I'd been wanting to fix up your car.”

Normally you'd protest a friend or anyone giving you free services but since this was on the Cowells' dime you weren't going to burden them anymore.

“That's sweet – really really stupid, but sweet.”

Nate's already moving around you two and motioning towards his car as he says, “Well thank you, now we really need to get going YN. I don't want to be out late.”

You nod to Nate, turning and saying bye to Toby from over your shoulder.

When you suddenly remember, “Wait, hey Tobias can you take care of my car for the week? I know it's probably a weird request, but I'm sorta “grounded” right now and can't drive till the cottage is set up. A little worried the battery will drain from disuse.”

If it weren't for the mask and swollen eye the confused sneer of his would be clear to everyone on the lot. He sputters for a moment before speaking up.

“Ok? I mean like that's valid – whoa – a valid concern...but your car's not that old. But I guess I'll watch it? I don't have Connor so it'll have to stay in the lot tonight, that ok?”

Oh this stupid beautiful boy just gave you an out. Probably not the one he meant to give you but you are taking it and running as fast as you can.

“Or, or, or-”

“No, no, and no. You can't be trusted to not just drive off in the dead of night.” Nate cuts in.

It took a bit of coaxing but after calling the house and getting Dia's blessing you obtained one night to yourself. Really it'd be one night spent at the lodge but it was still better than being a guest in someone else's house for the night, this way you're a guest at the lodge for the night. A little mini vacation if you will. And Toby seemed fine to go with you to the cottage while you packed a bag with your essentials, before you both go back to the lodge.

He even agreed to drop you off at the bookshop in the morning.

“Are you seriously going stir crazy after five days?” he asks as you pull up to the cottage.

“it's more their constant smothering I'm over. I know everyone's worried but I still need my own agency. Y'know?”

“Yea....I do.” he murmurs with a solemn look about him before he exits the car and makes his way to the front door.

Your steps falter as you near the cottage. A few flashing images pass through your mind before you shakily inhale. Fortunately Toby is right beside you squeezing your hand to remind you of his presence. You aren't alone this won't end like Monday night.

Opening the door the house is quiet and just as you had last seen it. Nothing was disrupted, even peeking into the bathroom where you expected a crime scene to be – only a toppled shower curtain and over turned bath mat remained.

It doesn't really feel like your house right now. A fuzzy sensation clouds your thoughts, like your brain is trying to protect you from connecting with this place after your recent trauma. Although you aren't sure how you actually feel there's a strong sense of discontentment.

Noticing how you linger in the threshold of the bathroom Toby gently guides you into your room, all without a word. Leaving you alone in your room to collect your things. You move around at a moderate pace, you aren't drawing this out but you aren't rushing to leave soon either. A handful of shirts, a set of jeans, shorts, and joggers later you are grabbing your switch. Before diving into your art supplies you hear a thud across the hall.

You freeze as if ice water had just been poured onto you keeping you in place.

“Tobias!” you call out not moving.

“Fuck – sorry I acc-ack-accidently kicked your trash can.”

When had he gone to the bathroom?

“Are you ok?” you receive a quick 'yea' in response.

Jittery and in no mood to sit and draw you pick up an embroidery kit you'd been meaning to rip into. Should keep your attention long enough, but maybe you should grab another kit just in case. Bag loaded with enough of your things so you aren't driven mad during your stay – you turn to leave but decide to grab your goat plush as an after thought before leaving your room.

Walking out and into the rest of your house you notice a lack of Toby anywhere. Going towards the front door you spot him as you pass the kitchen. He's messing with your garbage can before he takes out the bag and ties it up.

“Wha' cha doin'?” he's been a bit off since you both arrived but you don;t blame him. Not like you're fairing any better.

“I, I kicked it and a whole bunch of trash came out. So then I had to put it-it all back, but there's a lot here and you aren't gonna be here for a week....I, I ju-just thought it'd be better to tak-take it out now.”

Nodding, you're thankful to have such a good friend looking out for you. It would've sucked to come home to a toxic waste site because you'd left trash in the garbage for three weeks.

You probably just thought it came from the bathroom because of the echo or something. Paranoia's been a pain this past week. Maybe you should look into getting a roommate, they might help.

“They're not that helpful trust me.”

“Wow, did I say that out loud?” Toby nods, “Fuck I am out of it. How are you and Tim doing?” you might be deflecting/ignoring your own issues. But Toby had his own shit going on Monday night and you doubt he's talked to anyone.

“We're fine. Just fucking hate him.” the sharp jerk of his head keys you in that he's very much not fine.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Who are you, my fuck-ing therapist?”

“Fine, wanna bitch then?”

He comes off the defensive like he realizes that he's talking with you right now. His good eye down cast after he relaxes his stance a bit.

You go to grab your kettle, filling it up and placing it down on the stove to warm up.

“Any preference on tea? I've got a few.” it was very much more than a few.

A chair screeches as Toby drags it out to sit down at your small kitchen table. He doesn't respond so you get one of your special blends out. This blend has rose hips which you normally dislike anything scented or flavored with roses but the ginger and cinnamon can normally over power the slightly floral sting of this tea. Plus it's made with the intention of healing the heart and promoting self love. A spell tea of sorts. Toby could probably use a little pick me up, you always did after a fight with a friend. Getting out the honey you ready the tea infuser into the cup waiting for the kettle's whistle.

“So just wanna start talking....or should I ask questions?” you turn to face Toby as you lean against the counter.

He's taken his mask off and placed it on the table, of course you remember his deteriorating face but it still surprises you to see it after a few days of not actually seeing his face. Maybe you'll get used to it and one day won't be so fascinated by his teeth.

“Tim's just a dick who thinks he has a right to act like he's my dad. Li-ike-like I'm twenty-four he doesn't need to constantly question the things I do. He doesn't have any room to talk to me about my mistakes he literally could've fucked staying here up for us....” Toby head had been snapping to the left several times during his rant and it continued as he got very quiet suddenly.

Tim could've messed staying here up? Did he mean here as in Kepler or the lodge? Barclay did have to break up the fight maybe he didn't want any of the trio in but let Toby stay out of concern for his condition.

“Hey I'm sure it wasn't that bad, I could even talk to Barclay to get you unbanned from the lodge.”

He takes the mug you pass him and spoons some honey into it/ It's weird to see half his face drawn into concentration since the other half isn't able to emote yet. Holding the cup in his hands he stares at the swirling steam rising up as you bring your own mug over to the table taking a seat. Not once does he look up at you as you stir in a bit of honey into your own tea.

Toby's neck snaps, “Am I...is it bad that I don't want you to?”

You send him a slightly pitying smile.

“No hun, you're upset. And you're having a totally valid reaction to a falling out.”

Toby rolled his eyes, at least you thin he did. Hard to tell with just the one.

“My therapist would love you. That's the kind of bullshit she tells me like all the time.”

Not knowing what to say to that you just nod as he continues to stare at you.

You both continue to talk, well you continue to let Toby rant about how stupid and dumb Brian and Tim are as you finish your tea. You still don't know the details of the fight but it sounds like the cause was just the last straw between the men and not the actual catalyst. According to Toby the other two tend to baby him or talk over his ideas and suggestions because he's the youngest of the group. Twice Toby mentioned Tim's paranoia and how that was really the cause of the tension between them. And how Brian wasn't any help because he'd always side with Tim to make sure his boyfriend was ok.

Toby was very bitter when talking about Brian's role in this more than Tim's. As if his role of passive bystander just sent Toby over the edge. Which from the way he spoke seemed like it's been dragging on for some time. All of this was painting an even worse picture of the smug asshole. Though you didn't break your silence or series of nods and hums until Toby off handily mentioned Brian getting him in trouble with his therapist by saying he was the one who started the fight.

“He fucking snitched....wait no he lied?!” Toby had to blink a few times before he finally understood what had gotten you so upset.

“Yea I mean it's not that big a deal. I was able to tell Clarise I missed a few days of my meds and she made me set reminders in front of her on the call.”

Apparently Clarise was sure Toby suffered from Bipolar Disorder, he was very flippant when he told you like it wasn't anything big. When you mentioned ADHD he kind of blanked. He got fidgety when you mentioned the symptoms you saw and nervously told you his medication was working just fine for him. Not wanting to make him more uncomfortable you dropped the topic. Soon it was dark and you needed to leave to make it to the lodge for dinner.

“You sure you want to take the garbage out? What if Chonk is over there?” joking as you lock the door.

“Good point. Trash you live here now.” he dumps the bag onto your lawn and walks towards your kia.

“Toby!”you gasp out, which sounds weird amidst your laughter.

He stops and looks at you his expression more unclear than it's been all evening. Your heart skips a beat as you stare at each other for a moment, your laughter gone now.

“It's weird to hear you say 'Toby'.”

That's all he says before he grabs the bag and carrying it to the side of your house where your bins are.

The conversation in the car is pretty light in comparison to what it has been. Just jokes getting thrown around and sharing the gossip that you'd head in the hospital because nurses' can't keep their mouths shut. Neither of you know any of the characters in the stories but they're still pure gold. Like the man who came in after getting his hand stuck in a cookie jar. Nervous and scared his wife would find out he's been eating the new holistic dog treats. A few stories or more like vents about the auto shop got thrown in. By the time you got to the lodge both of you were in lighter spirits.

Everyone was ecstatic to see you up and about and made an extra spot for you at the table. You didn't miss how Barclay would rise an eyebrow every time you locked eyes. You just roll your eyes and continue eating. When it got time to settle in for the night you were planning to commandeer the couch but Toby offered his room.

More accurately he offered a chance to hang out with Connor which you readily accepted. The rottie was just as excited to see you, bounding over the second you stepped through the door.

“Sigh if only there was a way to see Connor everyday.” you say dramatically whistful as you hold the pup's jowls in your palms.

Toby responds in turn in a drawn out sarcastic monotone “Oh my, how sad your life must be. There's only one solution, marry me. So Connor can finally have the second parent he's always wanted” he ends with a scratch behind the pups right ear.

“I was just gonna kick you and steal your dog.”

He turns to face you, “I can't feel-”

“So if I kicked you in the back of the knee it wouldn't buckle?”

Toby goes silent before conceding to your point. A mumbled “Connor would avenge me.” is heard.

After you two settle down you both hop into bed to try and get some sleep. Toby was holding your switch hostage so you had no choice but to “sleep” now.

You really hoped he changed his sheets from the other day. You'd hate to find out you're laying in milk stained sheets. Pushing those thoughts away as your body finally starts to relax, you can feel when your mind begins to drift into the beginning stages of sleep.

“Tobes, you can crash at my place if you need to.” is the last thing you say before falling into a peaceful slumber.

Toby on the other hand wasn't able to get much sleep at all that night. He couldn't shake the feeling something bad was about to happen. And unlike Tim he didn't think it was because of you, it just had something to do with you. You were too kind to be one of The Operator's proxies, with all the clues of His presence in this town you were one of many red herrings. Looking over to you Toby only hoped you wouldn't get hurt in the crossfire. Not like Lyra did, he doesn't think he could handle something like that. Especially with how shitty Tim's been lately, he's on edge and constantly about to snap. He just needs a break from everything. Maybe then the weight in his stomach would go away.

In the morning Toby's keen to hold up his end of the deal and drive you to work. You buy him breakfast and an iced coffee from Dunkin' and a pup cup for Connor. The three of you eat in your car while you wait for Nate to arrive. When he does you say your goodbyes and head off to start your shift. Promising Toby you'd call once you've been ungrounded.

Nate's face is grim as you approach the shop, you're starting to get used to the cold sweats from these dread bearing encounters. That can't be a good thing.

Did something happen last night? Were the Cowells targeted? Was everyone alright? These thoughts and more swam through your head as Nate motioned for you to follow him into the shop quickly.

He locked the door and pushed you into the back room. His hast doing nothing to settle your fraying nerves as you stumble past the threshold.

“That Rogers kid, how well do you know him?” his eyes dart around the back looking at every shadow as if watching their movements.

“Who's Roger?” you feel out of the loop.

Was Roger one of your assailants? Had the police already found suspects so soon on what little information you had to go on?

With a groan Nate smacked his hand against his face muttering something under his breath.

“Toby, Tobias Rogers how much do you know about him?” his tone is rushed and sharp.

You didn't even know his last name until now. But maybe you had heard it before but it never clicked with you. Honestly you've known each other for a month that's not very long at all. But maybe it's long enough to learn some things?

“...ah not much?”

There's a panicked look in Nate's eyes and he does his best to control his breathing. But it's clear that Nate is either about to hyperventilate or go into an anxiety attack. You wonder what's got him so worked up as he reached into his bag and pulls out a manila folder.

He hands it to you, you can see the water marks left by his sweaty palms.

What on Earth is going on?

#a cure for insomnia #ticci toby #ticcitoby #ticci tobyx reader #ticci toby x reader #tobias erin rogers #Timothy Wright #timothy wright x reader #timothy wright x brian thomas #Brian Thomas #brian thomas x reader #creepypasta fanfic

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iamthedukeofurl · 3 years

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Controversial Opinion

Watching and learning from Critical Role might make you a GOOD DM, but internalizing the lessons of TAZ Balance will make you a GREAT DM.

This is not because Griffin Mcelroy is a more skilled DM than Matt Mercer, he’s not, not by a longshot. Matt’s technical skills (Voicework, roleplay) and rules knowledge are substantially better. While he lacks the poetry of some of Griffin’s narration, He’s far better at building a collaborative story around his players and their characters. Griffin, by contrast, is far more of a railroader, it works because he and his family are on such a similar wavelength, and his players are 100% game for just kind of cracking jokes and reacting as the plot happens to them. I’d much rather play in one of Matt’s games than Griffin’s.

However, Matt Mercer is basically the WoTC “Model” DM, excellent technical DMing skills, running a “Traditional” D&D game with utmost skill, enthusiasm, and resources.

As soon as the Moon shows up in Balance, Griffin is barely playing D&D Anymore, and that’s wonderful. One of the most important lessons any GM can learn is that so long as everybody has a good time, you can’t get a Bad Grade at DMing. The rules are tools for creating an experience, they have a lot of built-in baggage about the TYPE of experience they are supposed to create, but you can throw that out. Griffin decided that elevators were cool, that he wanted to build this arc around a halfbaked plot to win an illegal but fully supported and with elaborate infrastructure Mad Max style deathrace SO HARD that somebody would give up a magical artifact.

Watching Critical Role, you’ll get a superb demonstration of technical skill, but very little in the way of usable lessons. You’re not going to become a professional voice actor no matter how many expertly acted NPCs you watch Matt perform. You’re not going to learn the intricacies of pacing a session out, or running a combat with lots of characters. Heck, you’re barely going to learn the rules of Dungeons and Dragons. If you look carefully you’ll pick up plenty of good lessons about picking up plot hooks the players provide you, and letting the PC’s actions drive the narrative forwards, but you’re not going to learn how to Run A Game Like Matt Mercer Does.

Listening to TAZ, you’re going to learn how to Run A Game Like Griffin Does. More importantly, you’re going to learn that you CAN run a game like Griffin does, which is going to make your games so much better. Even if you adhere much closer to traditional D&D than TAZ did, with it’s secret moon bases and elevators, realizing that, as the DM, you are allowed to get as crazy as you want so long as your players are there along with you is going to do more for your table than a thousand hours practicing French accents until you no longer sound like Pepe LePew. You are allowed to build a world that does not resemble the art in the sourcebooks at all. You’re allowed to make up whatever magic items you want, abandon the conventions of “adventurers go to a dangerous place and fight a dangerous thing”, introduce weird mechanics and, heck, even abandon the rules of D&D altogether if they don’t serve your purposes at the moment.

The limit of what you can do in tabletop games isn’t printed in the rulebooks, it’s “What sort of experience would my players enjoy”. If they sit down wanting to play D&D, you should probably give them D&D, but you shouldn’t let yourself be constrained by the conventions of the game. The rules are there as tools and guides, not as chains or walls.

#critical role #taz #GMing advice #tabletop games #the adventure zone

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luobingmeis · 4 years

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maybe i’m my own greatest fear (a taz grad/fitzrain fic)

A/N: i'm still trying to get the grasp of writing taz grad fic, but after episode 6 i couldn't not fic this. also my brain just keeps bouncing back and forth between loving fitzroy/argo and fitzroy/rainer so i guess i multiship now!!! reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!

also title from sorority noise’s “art school wannabe”

summary:

“This promotion? Great, wonderful! A villain? Not so good.”

“And… why?”

“Because I’m not one of the bad guys?”

(Fitzroy goes to Rainer's dorm to talk about his "new assignment" and instead realizes that he can't avoid talking about his feelings and fears any longer.)

read on ao3!!!

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Rainer’s dorm was charmingly her. It was in the space between messy and tidy; the floor was spotless and the bed made, but stacks of books and jewelry and papers (and maybe a small skeleton or two, though he was never actively looking for those) covered the surface of every desk and dresser. The door off to the side, which was to remain locked until Rainer chose her permanent hench, was covered in posters and drawings tactfully placed, and a lone calendar filled to the brim in a quill she charmed to write in whatever glittery color she desired.

Very charmingly her.

Fitzroy had rarely been here long enough to actually pay her decorum any mind. Most of the time they had alone was spent on the outskirts of campus, or in the minutes they had between classes; more often than not, them “hanging out” involved at least three other people venturing to a much more crowded place.

Still, though, he couldn’t quite stop his feet from walking to her dorm. Rainer had no roommate, no hench, and, well… Hieronymous told him to keep his program change a secret, but when has he ever been able to keep a secret, anyway?

“I half expected you to already be at the tavern,” Rainer was saying, her back to him as she sorted through one of her notebooks (probably looking for the report she’d have to write on their field experience, or more so a report on how promising the kicks and henches seemed). “Maybe even bickering with Argo over who’s paying for drinks.”

She looked around the high-back of her chair and shot him a smile.

“Please, Rainer,” he said, hoping that his smirk and posture maintained his poise and not the thoughts that were racing through his head. “I’m enough of a gentleman to know to pay for my friends’ drinks.”

“I know you are,” Rainer said, softly, and Fitzroy was thankful that it was then that she turned back to her desk so she wouldn’t have to see the red rising in his face.

Of all he expected to find at Wiggenstaff, he didn’t expect Rainer.

Or, more so, of how much he expected to detest Wiggenstaff, he didn’t expect to find someone who gave him a reason to consider sticking around. He had Argo and the Firbolg, of course, and he appreciated his friends (perhaps even best friends, though Fitzroy hadn’t had any prior experience with that level of friendship), but what he had with Rainer was… different.

Which only made everything more complicated, because of course it did.

“I actually came here to talk to you,” he continued, looking up at the small lights she had hanging with the tapestry around her bed.

Rainer snorted. “No, really? I thought you came to talk to Gary.”

Fitzroy rolled his eyes, barely trying to hold back a smile, and was about to make some witty quip about Rainer’s own when he was interrupted with a, “Hey! Rainer! See you’ve got guests up ‘ere!”

Both their eyes flashed to the now-animated gargoyle in the corner of Rainer’s room, and Fitzroy suddenly felt like he was trapped in a tank at the reminder that not only were the Garys listening, but also a hivemind . That shared information. Information that could be private.

“Yeah, Gary, it’s-”

“Is there a way that he could actually be turned off?” Fitzroy asked, thankful that his voice remained level. “Apologies for the interruption but this is, well-” He swallowed, forced a smile “-this is kind of important.”

Rainer, spinning around to face him, arched an eyebrow before, with a flick of her wrist, a small, nearly-translucent bubble formed around the Gary.

“Silence,” she explained. “My Gary isn’t a nark so it’s probably fine.”

“Perfect,” Fitzroy nodded, allowing himself a relaxed grin.

“And I’ll admit, Fitz-” and she tapped her fingers against the arm of her chair “-You’ve got me kinda nervous here.”

“Well, no, you see- it’s fine, really.”

“That’s a lot of filler words for fine.” Still, she smiled and cocked her head.

“A lot of filler words for great, actually!” Fitzroy assured, to her and himself. “I’ve actually moved up in the so-called hierarchy here! Our dear Headmaster wants to put me into the hero-villain tract!”

Rainer’s glee was almost enough to make Fitzroy think that perhaps this wasn’t the complete end of everything. “Fitz, that’s amazing!” she exclaimed, moving her chair closer in so that she could tightly grab his hands. “We can all have classes together! You and me and Buck and Rolandus and his crew—don’t worry, they’re really all super nice—it’ll be so much fun!” She then furrowed her brows, suddenly serious, and, if possible, she squeezed his hands tighter. “What about Bud and Argo, though? Where are they going?”

“Oh, they’ll be fine,” he said, smiling. “They’ll be coming with me! As my- well, we all have to talk soon, but I assume they’ll be by my side.”

“Oh, like sidekicks!”

Fitzroy then sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, grimacing. “And that , my dear, is when things start to get a little complicated.”

“What do you mean?” Rainer asked, frowning. “Don’t tell me- they’re not leaving, are-”

“Oh, no!” Fitzroy shook his head quickly. “No, not at all. They’ll be coming with me, but as… Well, you see, when good ole’ Hieronymous bumped me up, he didn’t… bump me up to being a hero.”

“Oh, so you’re a villain!”

Fitzroy was proud of himself for holding back a flinch. “Apparently so.”

“Oh, Fitz! That’s so cool! It’s honestly really fun. A lot of the professors are actually super cool, which is nice because some of the content , oh boy, and-”

Fitzroy worried his bottom lip, trying to hold back the nerves and… aggravation that bubbled up in him. “But-” he interrupted “-but do you see the… issue… here?”

Rainer paused, studying him for a moment. “No?” she finally responded, equal parts confused and suspicious.

“This promotion? Great, wonderful! A villain? Not so good.”

“And… why?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Because I’m not one of the bad guys?”

Rainer froze for a moment and, while she gaped at him and then over at the stacks of textbooks and notebooks, it was then that Fitzroy realized that, perhaps, he fucked up.

Dropping his hands right back into his lap, she huffed and moved herself back. “Wow, Fitz, super cool.”

“Rainer, wait,” he sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” She asked, annoyance coloring her own voice. “Because, honestly, if you think I’m a bad guy-”

“No, it’s-” Fitzroy found himself fumbling for words as his eyes darted around Rainer’s dorm to focus on anything but the scowl on her face “-it’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“It’s just-” An exasperated sigh left him again and, in resignation, he threw his hands up “-the villains are the ones we fight against!”

She narrowed her eyes. “Who’s we? ”

“The Maplecourts!” he exclaimed. Once, simply stating the family name would make one think of knighthood. “We’re- we’re a long line of knights who are trained to fight evil and that is what I am meant to do!”

“Okay.” Rainer pinched the bridge of her nose, shutting her eyes tight. “You know equating villains with evil is pretty archaic, right? Like, there are heroes who are capital-E evil who just, I don’t know, fudged the budget, and then there are heroes who are capital-E evil because they actually did some really bad stuff. Like, I know that you know that.”

His head fell back as he huffed again. “You’re not getting it.”

“No, I’m really not!”

Looking back down at her, he shook his head. “I can’t be a villain!”

“Why? Villains aren’t automatically bad people!”

“I know! It’s just- the Maplecourts- we’re knights! ”

It was Rainer’s own turn now to throw her hands up. “You can still be a knight!”

“But not really! ” He snapped, his temper beginning to creep through as he struggled to restrain his volume.

“Why, Fitzroy? Why?”

“Because- because everyone expects me to be a knight so that’s what I need to do and-”

“Enough about everyone else!” Rainer snapped back. “I don’t care about everyone else! Only you! So, what do you think, Fitzroy? Why is this an issue for you? ”

“I’m terrified that this is all a mistake!” Fitzroy finally rushed out, unable to find it in him to care that he was near shouting. “I’m terrified that my time here is just derailing the future that I’m supposed to be taking! And- And this place isn’t the worst, okay? Argo and the Firbolg are my best friends and I love you but I am also so scared that I’m going to get out of here and there’s going to be nothing left for me! My family isn’t going to want a villain, Clyde’s Knight School isn’t going to want a knight who fought against the good that they strive to maintain, and- honestly, it felt like this school didn’t want me either! I just don’t want to keep going from nothing to nothing while everyone else gets to have the lives they all fucking hoped and dreamed for!”

Fitzroy, his breathing almost as shaky as his hands, looked pointedly away from Rainer. He blinked quickly, trying not to pay too much attention to how his eyes burned and, instead, tried to take down his anger—at Rainer for seeing through him, at himself for letting his temper burst out—before his magic decided to go wild.

He could already feel it thrumming through his veins, hot and chaotic, and the last thing he wanted was to destroy anything else.

He really didn’t like fighting with Rainer.

Suddenly exhausted, with every bone in his body weighing a ton, he let his head drop in his hands and roughly pressed his thumbs into his temples.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice much quieter now. “It’s just-”

He was interrupted by a hand rubbing gentle circles on his back, and he looked up to find Rainer sitting next to him. Quickly, he ducked his head back down. Rainer didn’t deserve to see him like this: a small, scared animal lashing out in a final act of defense.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, quiet and, in his knightly opinion, pathetically fragile.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Rainer said, her hand finding its place of rest on his shoulder. “It’s okay to feel lost, even. But also… don’t run away from opportunities just because they scare you. That’s not you.”

He let out a weak laugh and finally picked his head up, flashing her whatever he could muster of a smile. “It’s pathetic though, isn’t it? I’m trained to be at the front-line in battle and I’m- I’m losing my cool because of academics .”

“Don’t just dismiss yourself like that,” she sighed. “It’s not pathetic, and obviously you’re upset over more than just some classes.”

“I just…” He released a breath, shoulders sagging. “Not to be incredibly dramatic, but it feels like my life keeps falling to pieces.”

“And I wish there was something I could do.”

He smiled slightly and rested a hand on her knee. “You don’t have to go through that trouble for me.”

“Maybe not.” Rainer shrugged. “But I want to.”

Fitzroy swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat.

“I think… I think you’re going to be okay,” Rainer continued. “I think things are going to be normal again, and I think you’re gonna like the new program-” Her voice then quieted “-Plus, being a villain isn’t so bad.”

The heat of shame rushed to his face and, trying to find the right thing to say to make up for that , he shook his head.

“I shouldn’t have said any of that to you,” he whispered.

Rainer shrugged with a half-hearted smile. “It’s okay.”

“No-” Fitzroy shook his head again, taking her hands “-it really isn’t.”

Rainer looked away for a moment, worrying her bottom lip. “I… well, okay, yeah, the whole villain comment hurt, but it’s- it’s fine.”

“But it really, really wasn’t okay,” he said, catching Rainer’s eye. “That was a major asshole move of me. You… you are nowhere near a bad person, Rainer. Not only are you a great person, a good person, you… you’re one of the best.” She smiled, a true one this time, and Fitzroy gently cupped her cheek. “It was unfair of me to… to generalize and take my frustrations out on you. And I- I really am sorry.”

“It’s okay, really,” Rainer said, placing her hand over his. “You’re forgiven.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

A smirk dashed across her face. “You just might have to retake a class or two on chivalry.”

He gave her a smile. “A small price to pay.”

Rainer’s smirk turned into a smile as well and, for just a moment, she studied him. “Are you going to be happy here, Fitzroy?”

He faltered.

If he had been asked that at orientation, the answer would have been short and simple: absolutely not. Happy? At Wiggenstaff’s when he was just attending Clyde Nite’s Night Knight School? How could he be?

Now, though, the answer wasn’t so easy.

“I want to be,” he finally said, sighing. “And, push comes to shove, I really do like it here. I have you, and I have our friends. It’s just… I want to be happy. But-” he scratched the back of his neck “-I think it’s obvious I have some stuff I need to work on. Nothing the school can fix… Honestly, I should be grateful to have this offer. It’s just… me-stuff, you know?”

Rainer nodded. “And we’ll be here to help you out. We all want you here, love you being here. I love you, Fitz. And I think you should take this opportunity. I know it’s not what you expected, but it can still get you a foot in the door. And… I’m not gonna pry, and I don’t know what I can do to help with all the family stuff and the Clyde’s Knight school stuff but… I think they would all just want you to be happy. Want you to do what you want to do. And if that’s being a knight, great! But if you end up doing something else and loving it? Then they should love that for you.” She then leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “And… if anything, we’re your family, too. And we’ve got your back.”

Fitzroy smiled, and found himself very lucky to have Rainer in his corner. “I love you, too,” he said. “And I’ll do better next time at… actually talking instead of skirting around it.”

Rainer smiled, too. “I think you’ll be okay.”

“I’ll do it for you,” he said before leaning in and giving her a kiss. His hand rested gently at her hip, one of hers ghosting over the back of his neck and, when they pulled apart, he smiled. “You and a good grade, of course. As a villain, I probably have to do a lot of talking, right? Gotta freshen up on my monologuing.”

Rainer rolled her eyes with a laugh. “ So much monologuing. And you gotta do it with a hero, too. Buck’s the worst to do it with. He’ll do a monologue while you’re monologuing to try to out-monologue your monologue.”

“Well, I’ll just have to talk really loud, I guess,” he said, laughing, too.

“I think you’ll do fine.” Rainer smiled. “I think you’ll do good. Do well … and some good, too.”

Fitzroy took her hands back in his own. “Not as good as you.”

“Who would’ve known that you were such a sap?”

“Don’t tell anyone,” he said with a wink. “I have a reputation.”

Rainer smirked. “You once lost an arm-wrestling contest with a hologram.”

He scoffed. “That was supposed to be a secret .”

“That you told everyone!” Rainer laughed before leaning forward and kissing him again. “But I can actually keep a secret, so you’re fine.”

“Your confidence is greatly appreciated,” he said, “Oh, and! I was not supposed to tell anyone that I’m a villain now, either, so keep this on the DL as well.”

“Fitz!”

“But hey! Now that we’re gonna have classes together, we can pass fun, secret notes to each other! Dish the goss and share secrets!”

“We already do that!”

“Yeah but now we can be super sneaky about it!”

Rainer, shoving his shoulder, laughed. “I swear, if you make my GPA drop-”

“I would never!”

“I already have to deal with Buck trying to talk to me all the time! And sometimes Rolandus, too, when he’s feeling particularly fight-y… with Buck. So-” She jutted a finger at him “-I have my eye on you, Maplecourt.”

He winked at her. “I know you do.”

Rainer stared at him, shaking her head, though she was only able to hold off a smile for so long. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Love you, too,” Fitzroy said, pressing a kiss to her forehead before standing. “Well, I guess I have some roommates I need to, ah, break this news to.”

“Good luck,” she said, smiling up at him.

“Much appreciated,” he said.

With his hand on the doorknob, he gave Rainer one final smile over his shoulder. “See you around, my lovely partner in crime.”

Rainer grinned. “Try not to get into too much trouble,” she said, shooting him a wink.

“I’ll try my best,” he said with a soft laugh before stepping out of her dorm.

#taz graduation #fitzrain #sir fitzroy maplecourt #rainer michelle #taz rainer #i had a lot of fun w/ this fic but im also real nervous to post it lmao #stuff i write

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houseswolo · 4 years

Text

Day 17 - 'Tis The Season To Be Thirsting

"Oh come all ye Forceful..."

The last of our Thirsties to be showcased:

Wilson

(Tumblr: @wilsonthinks66 | Twitter: Wilsonthinks66 | Ao3: Wilson66)

What got you into Star Wars?

When a certain Adam Driver revealed his beautiful face in The Force Awakens 😍 helloo handsome

What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!

"You're not alone." "Neither are you."

I think I told Luke to piss off and let them kiss!

Why do you write / make art?

Because why not?! I write when I have that little niggling idea that just won't go away.

The Object of your Thirst…

Oh so many but if we're sticking to the Star Wars it's got to be the beautiful Adam Driver and my favourite ginger Domhnall Gleeson

Which Adam look do you like the best?

Unwrapped and bare chested 🤤😍

Which Adam avatar/ role do you like the best?

Flip Zimmerman, I think my stomach literally flipped (pun intended 😏) when Adam wheeled around on that chair 💦💦

Which part of Adam do you like the best?

A part? How can you only pick one part.

Favorite Star Wars Movie

Probably The Force Awakens, it was the film that made me watch the others in preparation, although Rogue one is a close second.

What do you like to write / draw / paint the most?

Don't judge me but I love writing angst obviously with a well earned happy ending. This is what I want to write as I've made a promise to myself to focus on what I enjoy reading/writing and not worry about others' opinions.

**Eyes the dark Evil Rey idea that won't leave me alone recently**

We'll get to you soon.

(HS: Dooo eeeet!)

Your TRoS Prediction

They all live happily ever after... Hux included 🤞❤️ no I know that may be too optimistic but I do hope we get Bendemption 😍

If you were an aesthetic... (colors, images, feels....)

Red and black are my favourite colour combination, although I adore autumn colours too🍁🧡

What's your ideal environment for writing / creating?

Silence 😂 seriously I am so easily distracted that I need solitary confinement 😅 which may be why I sometimes struggle to finish fics.

Are you a dom or sub?

Switch baby! 🤘 For the perfect partner I'll be whatever they need 😏

What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?

I've spent most of my life at yards, I'm not going to miss the opportunity to roll about the straw barn, now am I? 🙊

What's your kink?

Who doesn't love a good Dom but on the flip who doesn't love a well-behaved sub? 🤷 I'm easily pleased.

Use three words to describe yourself

Loyal, kind (I hope I come across as such) and argumentative sometimes because I can fall out with myself if I'm that way inclined 😂

Meaning behind your nick / ID name

Well it's my name and I wasn't feeling imaginative 😅

Are you a big spoon or little spoon?

I'm a don't touch me while a sleep spoon, solitary spoon 😘

Do you like it rough or soft?

See if you pick one, you lose out on the other. I'm too greedy for that.

Favorite fic you read

Unexpected by pontmercy44. The first star wars fandom fic I ever read that introduced me into this world, I guess.

Favorite fic you wrote or favorite art you made

Decades to Fall for Sunshineflying. A reyux fic (don't shoot the multishipper!) That I just loved writing and wish that every fic was that easy to create. 😍❤️

Favorite SW character besides Kylo and Rey

Oh well this is so hard for me umm 🤔 maybe that ginger General of First Order... I struggle to remember his name 😘 love me some Hux

______

Taz

(Tumblr: @tazwren | Twitter: WrenTaz | Ao3: TazWren & TrashcanWren)

What got you into Star Wars?

Literally, a lightsaber being stuck into my hand, at 7yrs, and being asked to be Vader to my cousin’s Luke Skywalker. I’d never heard of SW till that moment, and I fell headfirst into the Dark Side and in love with the galaxy far, far away! Its been the one franchise that as been a constant for me, the whole time growing up, and I’ve loved having something SW to look forward to every few years. SW and Reylo lifer! 😁😁😎😎

What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!

“You are not alone.” The minute Kylo/Ben said those words, I was gone for Reylo. No true villain would give a flying fuck about his so-called adversary’s mental and emotional health. When their hands touched? I screeched in that theatre! And I may have yelled at Luke as well. Walked out and hunted for Kylo/Rey fanfics and the rest was history!

Why do you write / make art?

I do because the stories show up and make it impossible for me to do anything else but tell them. They buzz and breed and drown out all other sounds, like manic mosquitoes. They can be quite a nuisance that way, but... *throws up hands* ... I gots to do what they tell me to do! 😆

The Object of your Thirst…

Uh, do I even need to answer this? Adam Douglas Driver, Mr.Sensitive-on-a-stick, BDE Boss hisself 😎😏

Once I discovered him, all others ceased to exist for me. (Hugh, who? Chris, what?)

Which Adam look do you like the best?

I like Adam every which way, but my favorites are with facial scruff and slightly shaggy hair - Phillip Altman meets Ben Swolo. Oooh, anytime he is a sweater (or half out of one!) or with his shirtsleeves rolled up. So, um, yeah... 😁

Which Adam avatar/ role do you like the best?

Philip Altman is BAE - he always lightens my heart. And Ben Solo? He owns the frickin’ thing. So yeah, anyone who knows me, knows one ain’t enough 😏

Which part of Adam do you like the best?

His face - it’s so emotive and expressive! His eyes, those lips, that smile that launches a gazillion ships. His hands, his strong-ass arms. That glorious mane of hair. Have I mentioned them tiddies and the tree-trunk thighs?! Oh, and when he flexes his back, and...

Uh... let’s just say, everything Adam?

Favorite Star Wars Movie

The Last Jedi was the most beautifully written and shot movie in the entire franchise, with a depth of characterization and exploration of symbolism that was brilliant. This will always rate as the best for me. A close second, and one I will always love, is Empire Strikes Back. That was quintessential Star Wars and an amazingly good watch - snark, action, angst, love, betrayal, rescue, OMFG!

What do you like to write / draw / paint the most?

Until I started writing Reylo, I’d never been able to write fiction. I could never visualize the stories. And once I started, I haven’t been able to stop! I’ll write anything Reylo, I’ll try writing anything at least once (so, yeah, there may be dark fic as well one day!). My style defaults to either mildly angsty, or humour-laced fluff, or depraved smut. So, not sure what that says about me 😂

Your TRoS Prediction

Bendemption. Reylo. *mic drop*

If you were an aesthetic... (colors, images, feels....)

Blacks, Reds, Greys, slashes of bright turquoise and white and ochre. Blue and white-striped awnings shading an alfresco cafe, overlooking a green ocean. Bright, city lights, reds and yellows glinting off the black water of a bay. A busy airport, with the scents of perfume from Duty-Free as you zoom past it.

If you were a candy bar, what would your name be?

The Ever-lasting Gobstopper 😂

What's your ideal environment for writing / creating?

In a hotel room, on my own. In the back of cab, in the window-seat of an airplane. At my desk, looking out through the window as the breeze blows through the trees, and the Burn This playlist keeps going on repeat.

Are you a dom or sub?

Both? Both is good.

What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?

On the back of a bike, in the middle of the night, stopped at a traffic intersection.

What's your kink?

Size. Hands. Humour. Fidelity, and yet threesomes (go figure, I’m depraved). Mild Dom. Intelligence and thoughtfulness. Hair. Fuck it, Adam.

Use three words to describe yourself

Loyal, funny, organized-chaos (its a thing, trust me!)

Meaning behind your nick / ID name

I’ve always had Taz as a nickname, for the Warner Bros Tasmanian Devil (yes, I’ve been known to be exactly like that! 😂). Wren is a nod to Kylo Ren, and the fact that one of the earliest fanfics I read had Rey naming her son ‘Wren’ as a backhanded pointer to Kylo! So I’m, Taz, a Knight of Ren.

Are you a big spoon or little spoon?

I can be both, till I fall asleep. Then, pls leave me tf alone 😬😁

Do you like it rough or soft?

Both - why choose?!

Favorite fic you read

There are so very many in this amazing fandom! The one that I’ve loved from the beginning, though, is The Art of Broken Pieces - a beautifully written Bendemption fic.

Favorite fic you wrote or favorite art you made

God, this is hard! My recent favorites are Brooklyn Bridge Blues, Caught Between Beats, and A Taste For Two - I like that I’m able to explore a variety of stories and emotions through them. I’m most proud of Confidences To A Stranger because I was able to explore a storytelling medium that I hadn’t before.

Favorite SW character besides Kylo and Rey

Padme Amidala - she reminds me of my mother and grandmother, both of whom were strong women, who got shit done, while always taking care of their people. She was a queen in more than just name. Han Solo - I am weak for a scoundrel/villain/bad boy in a leather jacket, with a hardass, snarky exterior that hides a heart of gold. The reluctant hero.💙

____

Meet the other Thristies! Thirst Order Advent Calendar Day:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16

cc: @tazwren @drnucleus @ashtyntaytertot @deadlikemoi @nite0wl29 @thereylowritingden @houseplaidam @housedadam @house-crylo @housereysistance @my-jedi-life @shestoolazytologin @koderenn @thoseindarkness @areylofan @lostinqueue-ffa @queenoferebor @cosmo-gonika @roguesinside @wilsonthinks66 @dangertaylor @lilia-ula @wandering-minds-found @looc-at-me @hopelesslyreylo @ferashacosplay @andabatae-writes @semperfidani @reylo-fade-to-grey @cb-lainey-schooled

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glowbat · 5 years

Note

so I dont want to be that guy and I get that you want to do other things probably but I and probably others would love if maybe you posted more taz art?i first found your blog through taz and i love your style its honestly my ideal way the balance characters can be drawn i hope this doesnt sound mean sorry

i actually have some stuff to post soon but asks like these arent ok- if i want to vary my focus then i will.end of discussion.

#Anonymous

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sanvitheartificer · 5 years

Text

Fic author meme!

Tagged by: @charmandhex and @everqueen12; thanks dears!

Your name: Sanvi!

Fandoms you write for: Mostly the Adventure Zone, a bit for a few others. I get inspired for different fandoms all the time, but being in a fic writer discord has helped me hang on to inspiration long enough to actually do something about it.

Where you post: Mostly ao3 @ https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanvitheartificer! I used to post on fanfiction.net, but that was Long Ago and probably embarrassing. Tbh even my ao3 is embarrassing, so.. yes. Also I guess tumblr, occasionally? I feel weird posting on tumblr bc i don’t do oneshots often and other stuff is unwieldy to post on tumblr.

Most popular oneshot: I guess it depends on how you count one-shots? “fourteen-thirteen”, which is a Umbrella Academy fic, is unlikely to ever be finished and it’s technically one chapter, but also the story is bigger than one chapter even if it’s not a story I’m going to tell. “endings alone”, also for UA, is in second place, and that’s for sure a one-shot! I got those published right when UA was booming so that’s why, I think.

Most popular multi-chapter story: deffo ‘how seven idiots stole the light of creation’! A silly TAZ fic set in an ostensibly modren age which is basically just an excuse for me to write mysteries and falling in found family love. It is pretty big in scale!

Favorite story you’ve written: See, I’m torn between seven idiots and Pokemon Balance: Bronze. Bronze is one that is soothing for me, that it even exists, and I’ve done some very cool art for it, and I love my worldbuilding for it. and I’ve been retroactively Nervous about ‘seven idiots’ for months now, for a variety of reasons! but like, i cannot tell you how many nights I’ve spent grinning my face off working on seven idiots and figuring out the plot twists, and it’s the farthest I’ve ever gotten into a story that big. It’s a really cool story and I can’t wait to finish it.

Story you were nervous to post: Hmm, I think I was nervous to post ‘endings alone’, which involves several different neo-pronouns? but i was also filled with a huge ‘fuck-you-die-mad-about-it’ energy, too. usually i’m Really Hyped when i’m posting things, tbh, overwhelming any nerves.

Do you outline: Yep! It’s often the first thing I sit down and bang out. I’ve recently started doing a thing where i outline just before i write something, like, outline a scene and then later go back and tie the scenes together, and that’s been working really well! But I think with longer WIPs, that fits into the skeleton that I create with Big Outlines.

How many of your stories are complete: Um. do u mean ‘abandoned’ ...the real answer is, a solid six, with a few edge cases of ‘i guess you could probably count that as complete’? A lot of those are... hoooo boy. old writing. and none of them are more than one chapter.

How many of your stories are in progress: Also a complicated answer, as it turns out! On AO3, I definitely plan to finish ‘seven idiots’ and ‘pokemon balance: bronze’, eventually, and I hope to finish the ‘forgiveness in seven parts’ series eventually, which is really just seven different parts of one story. ‘The Woods’ is ancient and basically drawing mostly from the first season of Young Justice, which is to say it has an audience of Me Only, but I’m still a slut for codependency and poly and my caricatures of those characters and all the reasons I started writing it, so it may possibly get picked back up! Hoooowever, the only thing I am actively in the process of writing for right now is an unpublished TAZ fic... Coming soon: About Lup and Davenport bonding and Merle and Lucretia bonding during the Stolen Century; working title, ‘father-daughter day!’ It’s very cute, and should clock in about 10k. Progress is slow but steady.

A oneshot prompt from Charm!

Evil Overlord Lucretia AU!

Finishing 'seven idiots’ and ‘bronze’ and maybe even ‘forgiveness in seven parts’!

Some other stuff on the backburner: i’d love to do more brainstorming for pen pals au, which was a back-and-forth tumblr thing that i contributed to a bit yyyyesterday I think. Really want to write some fic for The Strange Case of the Starship Iris, the Bromeliad Trilogy by Terry Prachett, possibly Girl In Space, and Fate and the Fablemaidens, though I don’t have any well-formed ideas for them.

Do you accept prompts: Mmmmm I’m gonna say no not really. it’s hard enough to get myself to write the stuff I wanna write. I... yeah, prompts are not a way my brain can work.

Upcoming story you’re most excited to write: I’m really fucking excited about all my projects but I am dying to get into Evil Overlord Lucretia; it’s just a super cool story and it has a bomb playlist already and I love it a lot.

Tagging: @cakeandpi, @simplyaskeleton, @shadow-and-purgatory, if you wanna! <3

#fic #me #my stuff #not art tho!#or only tangentially at best!

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sincerelyensouled · 5 years

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Liam’s master post of their TAZ OCs

Alright, so this is going to involve pulling some of my art off my Instagram from 2017 so that’s going to be an event(tm). So as a fun second half to this post you get to see my art progression (provided in links so this post doesn’t get too long).

TAZ: Balance

Alicia

Alicia is a tiefling sorcerer who works as a reclaimer at the Bureau Of Balance. Before she was hired she was a Fantasy Anthropologist and explored the world. Her thesis was trying to do research on the war caused by the Grand Relics, but all her leads were turning up loose ends. By evidence of Angus McDonald, Lucretia has a tendency to hire those who are a threat to the BOB and the exact same thing happened with Alicia. While working there she was proposed to by her fellow adventuring party member and BOB employee (which might be Cam, I haven’t decided if it’s Cam.) However, before they were married he left on a reclaiming mission and never returned.

Eventually, Alicia was sent to Wonderland, and without her typical adventuring party. With her she had a fighter/monk named Morgane and a male ranger whose name I’ve forgotten over time. And they were the absolute worst. Alicia ended up losing her left ring finger, fucked up some of her fights, some life force/HP and her left eye. Though all this she always chose trust in “trust or forsake.” In one last-ditch effort she sacrificed all the memories of her fiance. It didn’t work. I never created a solid ending for these characters but it didn’t work.

Alicia studying while working at the BOB (not described)

Trying to stay posi in Wonderland (not described, contains non-graphic imagery of an eye socket/eye trauma)

Cricket Fangbattle

Cricket was repurposed into a character I played in a campaign called “Employees of the Month” but I’m never giving up her fan OC origins. Tilly “Cricket” Fangbattle is the younger sibling of the two canon Fangbattles, their parents are seasoned but retired adventurers. She was born with her legs twisted together, which ended up in her father nicknaming her “Cricket,” and later it was discovered she had Cerebral Palsy.

Cricket’s two favourite things were to listen to her older brother Jeremy play his music and when the whole family sat by the fire at night and her mom and dad would tell old stories about their adventuring days. Although these stories came with a warning to never do something as dangerous as that, the warnings were ignored by every Fangbattle kid.

Jeremy was the first to leave. He became a bard, despite his father practically begging him not to. As soon as he left the music in the house was suddenly tragically missed, especially by Cricket (she couldn’t really do much else with her overprotective parents). Father Fangbattle then changed his tone slightly and started trying to convince Carey to play music (which explains why Carey explains how she explains how her dad wanted her to be a bard which contrasts what Jeremy/Scales says in the Flop House episode no one even listened to.) Carey grew ever more frustrated and eventually left to become a bard.

Cricket left home herself after some more time had passed, determined to make a name for herself as an adventuring storm sorcerer.

[and then Employees of the Month happens]

First Cricket art (not described)

Cricket after campaign influence

TAZ: Commitment

[unknown]

Ok this is honestly the most bare-bones OC I’ve ever had and I can’t believe I’m talking about her but uhhhhhhh Commitment. Anyways she’s a sweet lolita hijabi and was one of the failed tests for the augmentation process before Addison, Flanagan and Mary marked the first success. She did receive a power, shadow manipulation (basically Mage Hand made of shadows) but she was unstable. The Do Good Fellowship just kinda left her in the basement... falling apart both mentally and physically.

I probably won’t do much with her. She doesn’t even have a name and her core components have been given to other OCs. Angel’s Breath (Both images not described) got the “cute dressing to hide the darker side of character” bit (not a conscious decision for [unknown]) and the shadow manipulation was given to Aviv.

I have no art of this character

TAZ: Amnesty

Mel

This is Mel, short for Melody, a second-generation Chinese immigrant and one of the older members of the Pine Guard. She found herself in Kepler due to her other job as a meteorologist and somehow got caught up in the cyptid scene. She was active at the same time as the Fire Elemental Barclay mentioned all the way back in the Water Elemental arc but was out of town for the event.

She did several test to see how Sylphs adapt to life on Earth. One included taking Dani, a Sylph that relied on the hot springs and not a charm for the “anti-feral,” as far away from The Lodge (with a supply of spring water in a mason jar) as possible to see how she faired. (It didn’t go well, she got pretty sick.)

She eventually left due to the stress of it all (after Thacker’s disappearance) and went to go live with her older sister, a doctor who lives several towns over, but not before setting up a little weather station/instrument shelter behind the lodge.

The reply to the Roswell post that started Keplerains

Ritz

Iris “Ritz” got her nickname from the Hornets after eating too many crackers on the first day she joined. They just got home from college after studying to become a graphic designer and are trying to prove to her parents she can stay home with her friends and get a successful career instead of moving away. She’s not the best at stunts but that doesn’t really matter, she’s really just there for her friends. She’d do anything for them, even if it means leaving out her contrasting opinions.

Also, her family owns way too many dogs! They’re a breeder for golden retrievers and also assist in training and supplying service dogs!

The post I copypastaed this description from because I JUST posted it

#TAZ OCs #TAZ OC #long post #please excuse grammar and spelling mistakes its 2:30am and I'm also big dyslexic #links #I don't care how many will actually read this I just wanted it out there #I might do a version of this post later where Alicia's art isn't in links because I never posted that on tumblr before #death mention #eye trauma mention #unwellness mention #finger dismemberment mention #Do Good Fellowship is absolutely evil

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whelvenwings · 5 years

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Tagged!

I was tagged by the lovely @awkwardpotatonk - welcome to the world of tag games!! I hope it has been exciting! and long may you sneeze like Shrek.

Nickname: well, I got Echo Tesla from a futuristic name generator earlier so gonna go with that and hope it sticks for obvious reasons

Zodiac: Virgo babey but like, disaster Virgo who doesn’t keep things clean and organised

Height: just under 6 ft

Last movie I saw: The Princess Switch... I... might need to do a royalty AU soon

Last thing I googled: "put english on it”

Favorite musician: today has been a Lady Gaga day, which is unusual

Song stuck in my head: thusly, Million Reasons

Other blogs: I have a multifandom secondary blog that I wanted to start using but then the female-presenting nipplepocalypse happened and I wasn’t sure if I was still gonna start it up. I really want to blog more about TAZ and the thirteenth doctor and random things I watch and read, though, so I think I’m gonna go for it at some point

Do i get asks: when I remind people I don’t like mangoes, sure

Following: 249. I’m trying to follow more people to get my dash a little more pepped up but I’m not great with change, I have a few weird squicks about stuff I don’t like to see, and I enjoy knowing the people on my dash, so it’s a lil hard to expand the circle.

Amount of sleep: good god

Lucky number: 12

What I’m wearing: a tee with Zuko on it and owl jimjam trousers

Dream job: it’s weird that it kinda hurts to think about what my dream job would be because it feels so far-off and impossible. there are lots of things I can see myself doing and really enjoying, but the process to get there looks daunting and not in the “I’ll have to work really hard” sense because that’s cool by me, just in the “I have no idea how to meaningfully invest my efforts when there seems to be no opportunities around” sense. I do enjoy the work that I do right now but it’s not my dream job by any means. I guess in an ideal world I’d be able to sustain a living out of writing or content creation of some kind, or I’ve thought about teaching full-time or even going into counselling. in 2019 I need to get my head sorted on where I’m gonna try to be, because at the moment I think I’m too cosy in what I’m doing right now and I’m not trying to get out of my rut because I’m worried about failing out. this has been an unasked for venting session with whelvenwings

Dream trip: well if it’s a dream trip then the normal rules of irl travel surely don’t apply so we’re going to MARS and there will be MARS BARS EVERYWHERE and everyone there will enjoy playing board games and DnD so we’ll just be those chill dudes living their best lives in space

Favorite food: I could absolutely go nuts for a brie, bacon, and apricot bagel right now and just saying that sentence makes me wonder whether my beloved bagel creation could be improved with the addition of a few tastefully scattered nuts atop the glorious sundries below

Play any instruments: I play a little bass guitar and a little piano and a little drums, and I mean a very little because I’m irredeemably bad frankly but god it makes me happy to try

Languages: well english is a tricksy one but we try our best to surf her waves of meaning with grace on the daily. I understand a lot of italian, spanish, and french and I speak quite a bit when I have the confidence. I’m learning indonesian and I’ve learned a bit of german and turkish in the past so I can understand the basics of those fairly ok. I read latin pretty decent but I’m getting rusty. I freakin love languages man.

Favourite songs: today it’s 102 by the 1975. I’m going to see them next week and I’m STOKED LIKE A STEAM ENGINE’S FURNACE

Random fact: I have a snowglobe beside me that I got for Christmas and it’s got a unicorn inside it with one half of its face looking kinda cute while the other half looks more majestic, you know how figurines tend to have that very-different-halves-of-the-face thing going on, and there’s a rainbow overarching the whole affair, and underneath is a space for the gifter to write the giftee’s name. my mum gave it to me and she wrote “Emily” and then a little smiley face with a creepy little nose like :-) and she apologised when she gave it to me for the nose and it’s my favourite thing I own right now.

How to describe myself aesthetic: you know that feeling when you expected an experience or a place to be really magical and otherworldly and movie-esque and perfect and then you actually do it or go there and it’s just real life, like you’re still you and you still have an itch on your nose and you still haven’t done that thing you need to do and there are crying babies and there are people chewing and there is dirt on the floor and you realise there is no way to escape being yourself wherever you go or whatever you do in a big messy imperfect world, and THEN there’s a moment where you think, like, this is all a part of it? like, I’m doing something special and I’m still angry with my sister and I still need to pee and that man’s voice is still really nasal when he’s talking about his insurance policy but it’s all a part of it, a part of this big art that I’m a part of, like it’s not movie-esque or picturesque or novel-esque or perfect because no movie or picture or novel is ever going to be able to capture the ugly lovely fullness of the absolute art that is our ongoing life, and whether we feel flat or deep or happy or sad or disappointed or ecstatic or whatever, it’s all a part of it? that moment, when you feel that? pretty cool. anyway my aesthetic is probably candles or something. this went to a weird place.

tagging: @thebloggerbloggerfun, @destieldrabblesdaily, @shieldmaidenofsherwood, @iffeelscouldkill, @migglangelus, @captainhaterade, and @natmoose

#wubble #tag games for ts #thank you for the tag!!#<3

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elizabethemerald · 5 years

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21 things about me and 21 tagged

I was tagged by @bifacialler

Nicknames: My friends call me Ellie! I occasionally go by middle name here and call myself Em.

Zodiac Signs: Cancer (Gemini Cusp)

Height: 6′5″ or hella tall if you prefer

Hogwarts House: Probably Ravenclaw

Last thing I googled: dungeon world pdf- I’m playing a new game and wanted to look at some character sheets.

Fave music: Female vocal dubstep. I have a playlist with over 200 hundred songs, and I regularly listen to hour long youtube videos of that same music.

Song stuck in my head: Running My head - one of my favorite songs.

What I follow: A lot of trollhunters blogs, some RWBY, some witchcraft. There’s a pretty wide mix here.

Followers 63, and I love each and every one of you.

Do I get asks: Yeah! I get people submitting prompts through asks. I love that. It’s my favorite thing. Always send me more asks!

Amount of sleep: never enough. I swear I always wake up tired. I wish my dreams were less fucky, I’d probably feel more rested.

Lucky numbers: 12 and 16.

What I’m wearing: It’s laundry day, so I’m rocking my ugliest sweats and a t shirt with no bra. Normally I dress much cuter.

Dream job: Costume designer. I just want to sell costumes for commission, and not have to worry about a “day job”

Dream trip: I want to go back to Ireland so fucking bad. God I miss Ireland.

Favorite food: Orange chicken, soft tacos, pies, I love food

Instruments: I played every instrument in the orchestra at some point. When I can afford another cello I desperately want to start playing that again.

Random Fact: I feel like I am most of the way to being a modern Renaissance woman. I play an instrument, I can sew and create patterns, I work in leather, and wood. I want to learn metal work next. I have like 8 art forms that I either do now, or will do soon.

Aesthetic: I live on a spectrum on one side is Lesbian Tim the Toolman Taylor with my pants and flannel shirts, and grass stains. On the other is Lesbian Taako the Wizard from TAZ, just the most wildly flamboyant outfits imaginable, but makes me seem magical no matter what.

I don’t want to double tag a bunch of people, so if you want to do this too feel free!

#it me

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sleepymarmot · 6 years

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COUNTER/Weight liveblog, part 2

Episodes 23-40

Keith hasn't listened to the previous episode and Austin & Ali are cackling like “You got a big storm coming” lmao

…Look I understand the idea of making Tea an ally after the players and audience got to know her in the Kingdom game but the excuse is really thin

“A gift for his little brother” You guys are really bad at this gender neutrality thing huh

AuDy talking to Orth makes my head spin a bit now

Oh so Addax is the leader of the Angels? The person who has been watching the Chime from the shadows = the group that has been spying on them? Okay, I now feel dumb for not putting this together myself.

Wait I lost track again. Who were Jacq & Jill working for initially that gave them access to those immortality tanks? Iirc it was Odamas who had that technology and then gave Horizon access to it while imposing strict rules on them during the merge? So why does Jacqui get less fun assignments now if she was a part of the winning faction, not the losing one?

Oh cool, so Jamil wanted to hand over the virus to the Angels because they're both just from the Rapid Evening?

“A bard notices their enemy's heart isn't in the fight, so they stop fighting, fall in love” is such a specific thing. How the hell did it happen twice on the same show. Is this the new big gay trope now

Heeeey could you stop punching me in the stomach with intros

So, Jacqui was working for Horizon, which in turn was given this job by Petrichor? Still doesn't answer my question…

Do I have to mentally rewrite the entire holiday special so that in every scene on the Kingdom Come everyone is floating in zero gravity all the time?! I'm sorry but this makes no fucking sense!

The doppelganger thing started really creepy but now it just makes my head spin! Please stop it with the names, I'm too easily confused, especially with a show that has a record of passing characters back and forth between the GM and the players!

Re: that whole thing: aaaaAAAAA???

I don't understand what Austin and Jack are doing but it's pretty magical

God, the Aria/Jacqui scene is so… tender? Idk. Austin's gentle “PC's love interest” voice has murdered me again. I'm not sold on Jacqui by herself as a character but on the feelings between the two? Definitely. (Though I still wonder about Aria’s heroism vs Jacqui’s disregard for life. That’s a biiig value clash)

Okay, this was all very unsettling and I still understand so little

I really love that Sokrates' refusal to make that one nameless person take the fall, which seemed (at least to me) kinda stubborn and shortsighted, turned into a key moment, both because it demonstrates integrity, and now because that person becomes an actual NPC as an important asset in their faction

I love how the idea of moving Rigour to September comes up and everyone starts screaming and I do too! They sure love leaving horrifying surprises for the ground team to stumble upon lol

Is it too callous and unwise of me to react to Ibex overthrowing the Hands of Grace as “good riddance”?

Maryland's letter has strong Alyosha/Arrell vibes

I love the “reluctant alliance with an antagonist” trope and was hoping it'd happen with Ibex so I'm happy! Also in one of the early episodes Austin mentioned the Anders-Justice storyline and I'm glad to hear him finally deliver. (There was stuff about the pilot/Candidate->Divine influence with Order, but not about the other way around or fusion, like with Vengeance)

Okay thankfully things are clearer now (I'm reeeally glad I wasn't spoiled on this) but I still have so many questions. How were LD made in the first place? Why and how did they hide in/turn themselves into a simple robot? What are they – just software, like Righteousness, or is there some Divine hardware core inside the normal Automated Dynamics unit that nobody has noticed somehow, or is the hardware in a remote location they access through the mesh? Did Ibex know AuDy was LD the whole time – he didn't act very surprised? Why didn't Ibex rescue his brother, did he die really quickly? How will Mako be able to fog without Righteousness? Shouldn't AuDy be gamebreakingly powerful now? How and why do LD count as two Divines but have a single consciousness, are they like Garnet?

Lazer Ted feels like a fucking TAZ character lmao

The comic relief was welcome but at the same time I'm continuously like “What is AuDy thinking and feeling. Why are they acting like nothing happened. Where's the existential crisis. How do you realize you're a pair of ancient gods and just proceed with your life? Are they so impenetrable on purpose because they're a robot”. Like, it was chilling when they were suddenly chatting with Ibex like old friends, and now it's chilling that they're acting just in the early episodes.

I'm glad the robot incident made everyone realize it might be unwise to put the two charming extraverts in the same half of the party lol

Looks like they decided to permanently switch back to “he” for Cass… Probably for the best.

Jack keeps excitedly jumping at every opportunity for creepiness™. God, AuDy makes so much more sense as his character now after the Reveal

Is September just fucking Solaris now?

I think this is the first time I'm not excited to hear a faction game episode because I really didn't expect it at this point in the story. My reaction was “Wait what? Are you telling me everyone gets stuck on September waiting out that storm for a whole month?! I wanted to hear what that cliffhanger led to!” Idk, the September arc was generally kind of a let down after the intensity of the episodes leading up to it, and this further deflates the tension.

Speaking of tension and letdowns, I just have to complain… It's really disappointing when the show sets up really big dramatic hooks and then does practically nothing with them! I complained about Addax and Cass in the previous post and that point still stands. Case two: Mako and Righteousness/Voice. It's set up in a faction episode, and in the immediately following arc Mako indeed is in danger from something inside his own head, but it's a completely unrelated thing! At the end of the arc he finally finds out, but the threat immediately gets nullified with no consequences – no self-doubt or identity crisis, no diminished abilities in terms of game mechanics. Case three: Ibex himself. Out of the reasons the Kingdom game is what it is, the excuse for it happening in-universe was to give more details on Ibex, and at least half of it featured a collective effort to make him as central to the story and as threatening as possible. But as soon as that flashback ends, so, counterintuitively, does the role of Ibex as an active antagonist to the Chime -- the role which was literally just supposed to begin in earnest. So by this point I can barely recall why we were all so intimidated by this guy in the first place. I'm more like “This is a useful ally to have”. This is what I don't like about the world-ending threats like Rigor: all other interesting conflicts fade in their face.

Dang, I thought Isurus was a cooler name than Enhydra!

Sokrates, forced to shake Ibex's hand: *clenched fist meme*

Wait, I missed something, why is Rigor deep underground and has to dig itself out?

Okay, after the lore episode I'm also confused how Rigor ended up underground on Ionias after it was blown up 20000 years ago in a completely different place

I'm very distressed by the idea of Hieron as a future popular franchise!! No, it's supposed to be real when these people are talking about it!! Oh wait a fucking second, does this mean Jace's Panther was a deliberate reference in-universe?? Like you're fighting in a real serious terrible war and you model a giant war machine after, like, a thestral from the fucking Harry Potter and just call it “Thestral”??!

No, no, wait, do tell me who Cass and AuDy would cosplay!

Oh no, Rigour wants to talk to Voice(?), great

Hey Cass, your Hadrian is showing??

Speaking of Hadrian, I was caught off guard by description of Tower as a “hot young Hadrian”, for some reason Hadrian never struck me as a character who's supposed to be exceptionally attractive. But then again, I imagined him as very young until that letter to Hella, and then I imagined Cass as a young adult until I did the math, so I might just be bad at visualising Art's characters lol.

Austin is so generous and unsubtle about throwing hot gay NPCs right at the players. Too bad Mako doesn't sound as interested as Aria did.

I expected they'd find a room with one copy of everyone plugged into the mesh, that'd be even creepier. What's with the false memories though? This doesn't explain them.

So, how does this whole clone system work? How does time work? Why don't the real students like Tower or Maxine notice that there's a new guy who looks just like their friend, but doesn't know them – or, for that matter, why don't the other clones notice? Oh, maybe that's the purpose of the fake memory aura? So that Maritime-4 could continue right from where Maritime-3 left off?

When Cass saw Apokine's face I thought it meant that the humans had genetically engineered the Apostolosians and that's what “we made them look like us” meant, which would be two of my long-standing questions answering each other. And then it was just another giant mech.. :/

Wait, does Orth calling Cass “Apokine” mean that he pilots the mech now or that Sokrates died and Cass inherited his position?! I'm worried now…

I'm even more worried about Mako, because at first I of course reacted to the question about being in two places at once as “hah, Larry”, but it's probably the other thing, and on one hand that must mean that the rescue of clones was successful, but also that means that our Mako might be dead and the one in the intro is one of the clones… Considering that in the Winter post-mortem I caught Keith saying how emotional the C/w finale was for him before I started fast-forwarding in fear of spoilers, do I need to start mentally preparing to bury Mako already or what?

Speaking of spoilers… The farther I go, the less I understand the advice to skip Autumn. I thought that at least for C/w it wouldn't matter, given it's a whole different universe, but they keep referencing it, and then casually dropping major spoilers, and then referencing it again in a story-relevant way. (The Ordennan ships arrive on the screen as Rigor does, and the next episode is named “The Storm over September” and quotes Lem's poem in the description. That's really cool but I somehow feel vaguely irritated on behalf of my potential alternate self who skipped season 1.) I really hope they've grown more careful about this by now, because I'll probably not even begin Twilight Mirage by the time the next season starts, and I would really like to stay in the dark about the intense events they're all vague-tweeting about at the moment!

Why was AuDy alarmed by Voice's presence as “a” Divine accompanying Maxine? Shouldn't they be familiar with it already because of Mako? (And I don't want to even ask about the ontological difference/border between Righteousness and Voice. I'm tired and feel like a nitpicker. But just for the record, this still isn't clear.)

Well that's a sadder family reunion than I hoped for!

So AuDy does have a split personality to some degree?

Oh well. AuDy's got a fate worse than death: Liberty and Discovery, imprisoned indefinitely. Or devoured I guess, I didn't really get it. Great. Thanks. Fucking RIP I guess. Out of all ways I expected them to go, this wasn't one.

(By the way I still don't understand how the portal works. Where is this portal to? Why can't L&D fly out and take the slow way home, and why can't Rigor?)

There's still about ten minutes left in the episode and I don't understand how it isn't the finale. What's there to do for three more episodes now.

“With Rigor defeated so easily, so permanently, she thought” *Rigor screech*

Yeah, fuck Grace btw

Sounds like cultivating saplings is not a priority anymore for a certain someone… (Wait, btw, what happened to that patch/seed they left? Will it ever come back into play?)

“...Why they would put themselves into a body like yours? And I think, maybe, it's that they were curious about what it would be like for four years to feel like a long time” AAAAAA

Okay, things are better on September than it sounded initially, but still… Wtf's going to happen? Rigor repairs itself, takes over the survivors, takes off again? But what's the timeline on that? I genuinely have no idea wtf the finale is going to be about after this.

Oh, what happened to the clones btw? Did Larry manage to get them off the planet in time, despite the Minerva ships in orbit and, more importantly, Rigor? Or are they stuck on September, unable to continue reenacting the plot of Orphan Black?

From how it's been described in this episode, feels as if Liberty and Discovery are a candidate of AuDy… They didn't want a candidate but were curious to learn how it feels for the other side?

Paisley's dead-eyed, Tower's gone, and even Ibex, who is barely holding on himself, loses his ex… Everyone's love life takes a nosedive: the episode. At least Jacqui's okay… (And because of Jacqui, it was doubly sad and surprising to hear Aria still has feelings for Paisley…)

#friends at the table #blah blah blah

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scenitroute · 6 years

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Ten Days From Raven’s Roost

Ok. Here it is. My first TAZ fanfiction. I don’t even have many followers into TAZ I’m sure. Thanks to @zrllosyn for pushing me through this one and encouraging much worse to come. and thanks to @amysantiagone from the TAZ fic writer’s discord for beta-reading the completed draft. You guys rock!

Title: Ten Days From Raven’s Roost

Warnings: Happy Mango, Sad Mango, Angry Mango

Summary: Magnus Burnsides travels 10 days to Neverwinter from his home in Raven’s Roost to enter his hand made rocking chair into a carpentry arts contest, where he is expected to win the award that will officially recognize him as a master carpenter. Two days into his journey, his home is attacked by the very villain he defeated not long before. 76 people were killed, including his new wife, Julia, and her father-his mentor, Steven.

“Do you remember the last thing you said?”

“I said…’I love you Jules’.”

It was the last of the warmer months and Neverwinter was crowded. The townspeople lined the streets with booths to pander their best merchandise, and tourists from towns away came to explore. While the days were still long, skilled craftsmen traveled from all over to compete for gold and title, to be recognized for their craft. The competitions pulled in many business owners and wealthy collectors looking to commission the most talented workers.

The excitement could be felt throughout the busy city, and it infected Magnus as he strolled through the marketplace, a particular bounce in his step of pride despite the burden on his back. It was still early in the day, and Magnus was beaming with energy and grinning as he scanned the rows of shops. He didn’t stop at any of them, and only slowed to wave a quick goodbye to a fellow competitor he’d met during his time here. The road led out of Neverwinter into a much smaller town on the outskirts, but Magnus was going further than that. On his back was strapped his now prize-winning chair, along with his normal pack of rations. A ten day journey lay ahead of him, and he was eager to get home and share the news of his victory with his new wife, who was waiting there for him.

Jules would say she wasn’t surprised, but kiss him excitedly all the same. Mr. Waxmen would clap him on the back with a bark of laughter. Magnus….Magnus would just be happy to be home again.

Magnus had never considered that a quiet life in a small village would suit him. For as long as he had known, he had always been on the go. Even as he exited Neverwinter he had the urge to go back and explore what he hadn’t yet seen there. Yet when he thought of home, of Julia, his heart felt settled, and longed to return.

His pace quickened a little as he pictured her smiling face. Ten more days until he reached Raven’s Roost, and held Jules in his arms again. That was better than any adventure or prize, he thought.

Two nights in a row Magnus didn’t bother looking for an inn to sleep in. He set up a small camp for himself and laid on a mat he’d brought along. There were a few clouds, but the moon shone bright and lit up their wispy edges from behind. Magnus stared at the stars that were visible, awed by them. He had a certain fondness for clear starry nights that he couldn’t quite explain. Julia never did question it, content with watching the night sky with him. They would talk about the expanse of stars, and she would go on about constellations and beauty when Magnus fell silent, staring in wonder at the thousands of white lights.

Magnus awoke early the third morning and set off again. Throughout the day the clouds grew denser, and darker, and much earlier than the night before, the sky grew dark.

The closest village was miles behind him when the rain started to fall, but only moments after the first droplet hit Magnus, he saw a small cottage ahead. A wooden awning stuck out over the front door, off center, but still providing cover for the doorway with some extra space to stay comfortably out of the sun, or, as Magnus thought now, the rain.

It took several moments after knocking for the door to open, and Magnus was greeted by a half elven man wearing stained brown pants and a light knitted shirt.

“Oh!” he said. “Hello!”

“Hail and well met!” Magnus smiled a little sheepishly and waved. “I um.. I’m travelling a long way and I wondered if I could impose on you for a short time. If it’s fine with you, I’ll just stay out here under this cover until the rain passes, and be on my way again.”

The man stepped forward a bit and looked at the sky and the rain now pouring down heavily.

“This storm will surely last through the night,” he hummed, scratching his ear as Magnus’s face fell. Then, a little forlornly he added, “Probably floor th garden in too…”

The man stepped back to the doorway, motioning to Magnus. “Come on in stranger,” he invited. “We won’t have you sit on the stair the whole evening and we’ve just finished making some stew. You’re a big fella but I’m sure there’s enough for yo-”

A muffled crash interrupted him that made both men jump, followed by a voice calling from further inside the house.

“Mattias! Matti it’s fallen again!”

The man grimaced but led Magnus inside.

“You can leave your pack in the corner there,” he said, quickly pointing it out and heading into the adjacent room.

Magnus set the chair down first, adjusting the canvas covering it as he did, then laid his bag and rolled up mat on its seat before turning to follow his host.

Just inside the other room was a small round table, worn with scratches on its surface. A pile of trinkets lay scattered across it and a stack of books toppled as it was pushed by a second, held by a dark skinned human woman. She snatched one book before it fell off the table and moved to adjust the stack before looking up and seeing Magnus for the first time.

“Hello!” she said, smiling through clear exasperation. “Please excuse the mess, this shelf just doesn’t want to stay together anymore.”

“I’m sorry love,” Mattias straightened up next to her, having picked up a couple boards that had come apart. It was a small bookshelf that seemed to be poorly attached at the corners, causing it to come apart. “I’ll see if I can find a new one in town.”

Magnus didn’t miss a beat. “I can fix that for you!”

The couple laughed. “Don’t you worry about it,” the woman said. “Please dear sit. What’s your name?”

“Magnus Burnsides.”

“Welcome Magnus,” the woman smiled. The pair finished picking up the fallen items and did’t complain when Magnus helped to carry them into the other room so they could all sit at the table to eat.

Their names were Jaznah and Mattias, a young couple who had just inherited this little cottage from Jaznah’s parents. She was pregnant, and they had plans to build another room onto the home to make space for their growing family. However they were struggling to keep together what was already there.

“It’s a perfect home for us,” Mattias said as he finished his meal. “There’s plenty to fix up, but we’ll manage. It’s just old.”

“Matti is always so positive about things,” Jaznah stood from the table and collected their bowls. “But we’ll have enough money to hire someone if we can’t finish the extra room in time.”

Mattias rolled his eyes with a smile and moved to help her as Magnus chuckled.

He stood from the table as well and went around to look over the broken shelf. It looked like a simple fix in refastening the corners so they wouldn’t tilt when weight was placed on them. He insisted on mending it as repayment for the meal and shelter, and they relented.

Magnus settled on the floor with some tools he’d retrieved from his pack and set to work eagerly. Jaznah took a notebook from the stack of books and sat back at the table with a contented sigh. Mattias finished cleaning up from their dinner before taking to watch Magnus work.

“This must be your trade,” he commented, and Magnus nodded.

“I’m actually returning home from the Continental Craftsman Showcase,” he muttered as he sanded the roughened edges of the wooden sheets. “Back home I work in a pretty well renowned shop.”

“So you’re a pretty big deal!” Mattias laughed. “Something like this old shelf is hardly worth your time.”

Magnus waved a hand. “This is the least I could do for the kindness you’ve shown me. After this I’ll be on my way as well so-”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Mattias interrupted. “Don’t you hear that storm? That won’t be over anytime soon.”

“I couldn’t, it’s too much trouble…”

“It’s no trouble at all,” said Jaznah with finality, looking up from her notebook which she had begun writing in. “It’s night anyway, and there’s no inn for miles.”

Smiling appreciatively, Magnus bowed his head and thanked them both. He carefully set new nails into the connecting corners of the shelf, then tested the other corners to make sure they didn’t also need repair. As he went he described the work to Mattias, who began asking for advice on the building project ahead of them. The shelf was finished quickly, and the pair moved to the more open sitting area. There was a single bench in the room, padded with sheepskin and placed in front of a simple hearth where a fire was already going. As they went Magnus looked back at Jaznah, who stayed at the table, bent over her notebook, focused on writing. He found himself staring with a sense of comforting familiarity.

“She likes to write stories,” Mattias explained. “They’re really something too, I’ll never need to try and come up with something to entertain our children.”

“She’s so focused,” Magnus said, almost to himself. He pictured Julia pouring over the stack of orders they’d received, tongue between her teeth as she sorted through the work.

He was pulled from his brief daydream by Mattias’s voice, quiet and full of emotion that Magnus easily recognized.

“She just enters her own world when she writes. It’s truly amazing.”

A warm expression of deep admiration fell over Mattias’s features as he gazed at Jaznah, and Magnus felt exciting welling up in him again to get home.

They relaxed on the bench and talked for a while, until Jaznah joined them and Magnus pulled out the prize-winning rocking chair to show them.

“Oh my god!” she exclaimed. “How did you get it to smell so good? Lavender is my favorite!”

Magnus laughed, and invited her to sit in it.

“It’s a beautiful work of art,” Mattias said. “I’d say it’s worth the journey to Raven’s Roost for new furniture if you’re making it! Expect to see me sometime!”

“I’ll be looking forward to it!”

Late into the night they talked and laughed, before finally turning in. They left Magnus to recline on the bench, giving him some blankets and extra padding for the night.

By the next morning, the rain had stopped. Magnus, despite his eagerness to get home, happily stayed for breakfast before saying goodbye to Jaznah as Mattias walked him outside. He readied his pack again, making sure his tools were secured inside, and stopped before slinging the rocking chair onto his back.

“Hey Mattias,” he called. The man stopped with his hand on the door and looked back at Magnus.

“What’s up?”

Magnus lifted the chair up and carried it up to the house. “I want you guys to have this.”

“What? N-No Magnus, take this back home to your wife,” Mattias tried to push it back into Magnus’s arms as he set it down, but Magnus gently stopped him.

Smiling, he said, “Trust me, we have no shortage of decent chairs in the Hammer and Tongs. I think this will be better suited for you and Jaznah.”

Defeated, Mattias eyed the chair, and then looked up at Magnus. “You really want to leave this with us?”

“Consider it a gift for the baby,” Magnus suggested, shrugging.

Mattias took his hand in a firm shake, grinning widely. “Thank you so much friend! Jazzy will love this!”

“It’ll be a good place to read her stories to the kids,” Magnus said, and Mattias agreed.

“Please stop by again if you’re ever nearby!” he said as Magnus walked away again. “Bring Julia too!”

“I will!” Magnus waved, and he set off again, homeward.

On the seventh day Magnus made a new friend. A stray dog followed him for some time, trotting along beside him. Delighted, Magnus stopped to play with the hound, and when he stopped to rest around midday, the dog lounged on the ground next to him. That night Magnus found a small village, but the dog would not follow him closer to it. With a sad sigh, Magnus gave the stray some of his rations and scratched its ears before entering the village to find an inn.

The place was small and inexplicably crowded, but he breathed a sigh of relief when the owner said there was a single room available. He didn’t linger in the common area, instead Magnus tucked himself away in his room and drifted off. Only a few more days until he was home.

The innkeeper invited him to sit for a meal in the common area before leaving. Magnus was eager to be on his way, but sat at the bar anyway. The room wasn’t nearly as crowded as the night before. At one of the two occupied tables sat 3 men who spoke loudly, but it was friendly and Magnus ignored them.

He chewed on some spiced bread and absently squished the bit of cheese on his plate as he planned for the day. If he kept up his pace he could easily make it home before the next day was out. Bouncing a little in his chair, he dug in his pockets for a few coins to leave.

“Did you see those folks last night?” a voice asked from the table behind him. “Heard they were on the run.”

“What, are they outlaws?”

The third man chimed in. “No, they said they was attacked. Y’know that city on the columns? Raven’s Roost.”

The coins in Magnus’s fingers fell, bouncing on the floor.

“Everything alright sir?” the innkeeper asked, watching the coins roll across the floor. Magnus didn’t answer him.

“Raven’s Roost?” he called to the three men, who turned to look at him. “Is that what you said?”

One of the men glanced at his companions then back up at Magnus. “Yes,” he said. “A few travelers came from there talking about how their city was attacked.”

Magnus blanched and his mouth dried up. “Attacked?” he croaked, and stumbled forward to their table. “Do you know anything else? Any details?”

“Not much,” the man said apologetically. “The group seemed keen on passing through quickly. Sounded like they weren’t the only ones.”

“Who….who attacked?”

“Some tyrant, didn’t catch the name. Gotta be well off though since he managed explosives.”

“You from Raven’s Roost?” the third man asked taking a drink. “Lucky soul you weren’t around. Seems like one of the columns fell, right out from under them people’s feet.”

“Poor souls…” the first man lamented, swirling his glass on its edges on the table.

Magnus didn’t ask for any more, rushing out of the inn and forgetting his pack. Raven’s Roost was still three days journey away, but he didn’t think about that, focusing only on getting back as fast as he could.

He didn’t stop once, he couldn’t. Terrible possibilities burst through his mind like jolts of lightning. Steven taught him everything Magnus knew. He was resourceful and wise and would have made it out of the Craftsman Corridor with Julia, who was brilliant on her own. He only had to find them. Even as he assured himself, terror gripped at his heart every moment, and drove him to travel through the nights, until he finally arrived at the first column of the city, his home, a full day early.

It was abandoned. A ghost town. Every building and home was an empty shell, but he passed them all by, heading straight for the place he knew most of all.

And it was gone. The woodshed, The Hammer and Tongs, the broad desk where Julia stacked their orders and watched Magnus work. Their home…

It was all gone, fallen entirely with all the other shops in Craftsmen Corner. The bridge that had been that column’s connection with the others hung from the residential column in ruins. A sign was hammered into the ground in front of the bridgeposts. A hurried homage to the lost lives, and under it, a list.

A choked sob echoed through the empty air.

Magnus lowered himself to his knees. He felt like he could melt down, and simply slip over the edge. Instead he just stared over it, down into the fog below. Everything he had, all he’d loved and worked for, was below that fog, dashed against the rocks. There were no ruins for him to search. No bodies to mourn over. His fingers dug into the dirt and rocks, clenching as he leaned forward, head hanging over the precipice.

The Mad Governor Kalen only attacked the one column of Raven’s Roost. The shops and of the brave men and women who turned against him. A ragtag team of craftspeople who took back their homes and livelihood. No rescue attempts could even be made for the 76 souls that were in Craftsmen Corridor. Every family left, once accounted for, packed their bags and left the forsaken city, fearful of any further attack. Raven’s Roost was a ghost town, with no one to hear or answer the anguished cries of a man who had lost everything.

Some weeks later, Magnus sat alone in a small tavern. He had no pack, but held a drink in front of him, nearly empty. His calloused fingers rubbed against the grain of the wooden table. Tiny splinters brushed away as he went, and he thought of sanding it, and the smell of sawdust.

The door to the tavern opened, letting in a sliver of outside light, before closing again. Magnus’s mind emptied again, saved from the flash of a too recent memory. He downed the last gulp of his drink and wiped his face with the palm of his hand, eyelids drooping.

“Burnsides?” His eyes shot open.

The voice came from over him. Magnus leaned back in his seat, shaking his head a little to wake up. A familiar half-orc man stood there, holding his own drink and watching him with cautious smile.

Magnus grunted. “Stanek.” He peered back down into his glass, half-hoping Stanek would leave. Instead he heard the chair opposite him scrape against the floor, and the man sat with him. Stanek let out a slow sigh.

“We wondered what happened to you,” he said. “Gunnar said he tried to find you on the road from Neverwinter, but never passed you.”

“I went off the road for a while,” Magnus glared at a spot on the table. “Didn’t want to bother with inns.”

“I’m not surprised.”

Silence fell between them, and Stanek drank half his cup in it. Magnus didn’t move.

“No one knew what happened,” he muttered finally, clenching his fists. “It was days before we knew it was Kalen. By then he was long gone.”

Stanek’s hands relaxed again, but his voice cracked as he continued. “76 people were in Craftsmen Corridor that morning. Shopkeepers mostly, a handful of families….76 souls taken.”

Magnus moved, slowly turning his glare at Stanek, his teeth grinding together.

“76 lives ended,” he growled out. “He killed Julia-everyone, because of us.”

“We didn’t do this Magnus.”

“No,” Magnus agreed, brows furrowing. “Kalen caused all of this.”

He laid his palms flat on the table and sat up just slightly so he could lean forward, still staring straight at Stanek.

“I’m going to kill him,” he said. “I’m going to hunt him down and end Kalen.”

Stanek sat back slowly, eyes widening. “Shit Magnus,” he glanced around, then pulled himself back to look at his friend. “No one knows where he’s gone.”

“I will find him Stanek.”

“And if you do?” Stanek opened his palms to the air. “He’s still got plenty of followers, too many people are protecting him. Magnus you led an army but that army…all those people are gone now. You won’t be able to reach him Magnus, it’s a suicide mission!”

As he spoke Magnus hunched his shoulders more and more, and his hands curled on the table into tight fists. At Stanek’s last word Magnus slammed both fists down with a loud grunt. “I DON’T CARE!”

Stanek reeled back, gaping at him. The room went quiet as the handful of other patrons eyed the pair warily. The bartender barked an order to calm down from behind his counter. Magnus acknowledged him with a fierce look, but sat back in his seat, keeping his balled up hands in the small spaces he’d indented into the wood.

He spoke again, a low growl that only Stanek could hear as Magnus lowered his head again to stare in his lap.

“He took everything from me. I don’t care anymore. I have nothing, and I don’t give a shit.”

As Magnus’s composure shifted, loosening, Stanek’s own eyes started to water. “I’m going to find him, alone,” Magnus said. “And I’m going to kill him. It’s all I have.”

“You earned your happy ending Magnus. If you use me, you can have it all back.”

“Julia wouldn’t want this.”

#taz #taz: balance #magnus burnsides #taz fanfiction #my writing #angst #the adventure zone

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badly-drawn-piplup · 7 years

Text

Happiness Overload Chapter Fourteen

″So there's this village. I don't know where. Like Ireland, or something. It's gotta be Ireland because it's like a community in the forest and everyone believes in fairies. In fact, fairies ARE real. Everyone knows that, but only the children can see the fairies. When children play around outside, fairies are often there with them, playing along as well. Some pull tricks, some are quite nice and helpful.

″Every morning, the kids play and their fairies accompany them. It's, like, tradition, and tradition is everything in this village. Well, one kid, a wily brown haired kid. I'm not sure what his name is..Taz? Let's just go with Taz. It's easier. What? Why Taz? Look, I'm not good with making up names. It's not like there was a name given in the story.

″Anyway, this Taz kid was quite the troublemaker. Every other kid knew that. He was also a bit of a clown. Everyone expected him to do something funny. Pull some prank. And his accompanying fairy, an equally mischievous girl, was always inspiring him to do some thing or other. One day while the kids where chasing each other with sticks, Taz's fairy whispers in his ear.

″'hey everyone will be impressed if you can steal the large diamond from the museum'.

″So that's where we're at. He really wants to impress the other kids. What? Look, I don't know. There can be museums in an Irish village. Please stop interrupting.

″Okay, as I was saying: he decides late at night he'll go into the museum and capture the diamond. Seems like quite a feat, right? A kid stealing a diamond when there's lasers and security cameras. What? There can be lasers and security cameras in a village. It's not exempt to that. This isn't so rural that that stuff doesn't exist. Anyway, the fairy helps Taz steal the diamond by diverting the attention of the cameras. The fairy creates these illusions, little specks of dust, but in a single moment, they look like humans.

″Maybe the alarms should have gone off if the cameras saw something that looks like humans. But no, that's not what cameras do. You know that already, don't you? It's the lasers that trip the alarms. The cameras just watch things. It records it and later there will be a record. Now the trouble with the lasers is another matter entirely. I don't actually know how it was done. Probably careful calculation or something. The fact of the matter is, Taz stole the diamond and walked out scot-free.

″The next day, Taz went up to all the other kids and showed off the diamond. The fairy cackled while Taz reveled in his short burst of fame, unknowing that showing off the large diamond was his downfall. Just as soon as he showed it off, a police car came and arrested him.

″'Please help me get out of this situation!' He begged his fairy. But instead, the fairy shook her head and grinned.

″'Sorry, kid, but you're on your own. Shouldn't have gotten caught.'

″So just like that, the kid gets thrown in the van and gets sent to juvenile hall.

″No. That's not the end of it. It's not over. Just wait.

″After years of serving time in juvie, the kid gets out and instead of learning his lesson, becomes a full fledged thief. He has no home to go to and instead moves to a city far away, where he can hone his skills. Living off of stolen food in the day time and going for higher end things in the night.

″The city where he moves to is one where at any given time, it's a different season. Time works on a different axis than most places, and it could be hot and snow within the same hour. It's a place which gives him a purpose, this Taz kid. He lives for such an adventure.

″As for his fairy, which as you know, when a kid grows up, they can no longer see fairies. For some reason this doesn't apply here. Taz can still see his. His fairy has a name, her name being Euphoria, but he calls her Euphy, for short. Euphy travels with him, stalking items to lay claim to day by day.″

″What? That's like the stupidest thing I've ever heard,″ I gave my honest opinion of Blanc's whole dream story. Light constructive criticism goes a long way. ″When you're telling a story, you don't want to go in first person, first of all. It just breaks the narrative. You're the narrator. Just let the story be told.″

″It's a dream!″ Blanc shot back. ″What do you expect?″

″That's no excuse. Just because it's a dream doesn't mean you have to make it sound so bad. Exaggerate! Elevate it! Make it something better!″

Blanc groaned.

″Hey! What's with that groan?″

″It was your idea in the first place...″ they replied, arms crossed, head turned.

″It was okay for a first try,″ I tried to reassure, lift their spirits up.

″I thought it was pretty cool!″ Art chimed in. ″It probably meant something! Maybe it signified your past or your future!″

″Shut up!″ I pointed to Art. ″What kind of name is 'Euphoria', anyway? Let alone 'Euphy'? Such a terrible name for a fairy.″

Blanc looked startled. Hurt for some reason. Right on the spot, I regretted what I had said.

″I take that back. It's unique. I doubt I'd have come up with a name for a fairy like that. I'd probably have given it something like 'Basil' or 'Clover'. Those are stupider names. I'm already cringing and those are names I made up!″

″Let's see you do better, Satin!″ Art egged. He thought he was being so clever, putting me on the spot, but I saw it as a perfect opportunity.

″Yeah, show us how it's done,″ muttered Blanc. I thought for sure I would have cheered them up. I think they cracked a smile, but it was hard to really say. I was in my zone. I cracked my knuckles a bit and stretched my arms, although I worried of elbowing someone. Couldn't be too rowdy in this car.

″With pleasure,″ I announced.

″Three friends attended high school together, going about their day to day wondering what might come of their future. At the start of the day, they would take their seats next to the window during homeroom. One particular day started just as most did. All the students shuffled into the classroom, their noisy little selves, and sitting where they always have. The homeroom teacher took attendance.

″'Blanc Slait?' She read.

″'Not here,' Blanc replied.

″'Conrad?' She read next, and for some reason didn't read off a last name.

″Conrad didn't respond at first. The teacher called again.

″'Roll call is a fundamental obstruction of student rights and aims to oppress us all,' Conrad finally responded with.

″The teacher sighed. 'I'll take that as a 'here'.'

″Velvet was the last of the three friends, but the teacher only had to look at her to know she was here. That was because despite sitting next to the window, she sat toward the front of the class, and not in the back.

″'Now that that's out of the way, the teacher began with a sigh. 'I'd like to introduce our new student, Violet'

″Violet was stunning. The most beautiful girl to ever step foot in that high school. Hell, the most beautiful girl on Earth. She walked in wearing a tuxedo, leggings, and a top hat. It was reminiscent of those magicians' assistants. The kind that got chopped in half, but they weren't really chopped. They were okay. Every. Damn. Time. Kind of a ripoff, really. But you're glad in this case because damn it, Violet had the air about her that just screamed 'you deserve not to be chopped.' Yeah, she was that kind of dream girl, alright.

″Violet took a bow. 'Nice to meet you, everyone!' She then did a little thing with her fingers that entranced the audience, and out of nowhere, a ball of water danced across her fingers, forming different shapes before dissolving and disappearing. She grabbed a tissue out from her pocket just to point out that her hands were dry. It was amazing.″

″After everyone was speechless, minus the teacher who just whispered under her breath 'fuckin' showoff', Violet took another bow and walked toward the back of the class. But not toward the window, but instead the only open seat available: in the middle of the back row. It was as if even in the back, she was the center of attention.″

″'Impressive, but I'm going to have to ask you to not wear your hat in the classroom,' the teacher scolded Violet. She just smiled and shrugged, picking her hat off from her head and placing it under her desk. From underneath, her long purple hair could be seen by all.″

″During lunch, all the kids would try to gather around Violet, some wanted to hit on her, some wanted to see her do magic tricks. The idea that she could manipulate water like that, it seemed like it came straight out of a fantasy novel. She paid no mind to advances, and made no friends. Although she was the center of attention, all she wanted to do was put on a show and nothing more. She never revealed her secrets to anyone.″

″Of course, the three students next to the window, Blanc, Conrad, and Velvet, were also interested in her. Well, not Conrad. He couldn't care less. He rambled on about how he couldn't trust her and how she was probably an agent for the Illuminati or some shit like that. But Blanc and Velvet? They were head over heels. The two wanted to make friends with Violet they wanted to know what she knew.″

″And guess what? Violet already knew this. Call it psychic powers or intuition, but when Blanc and Velvet approached Violet, she was already prepared. She stuck her index finger up into the air, then pointed at the two of them. 'I can tell what your intentions are!' She declared. 'You two want to know my secrets, and you already know that I can't reveal them!'″

″Blanc and Velvet sighed in unison. They had been caught. However, Violet continued her spiel.

″'That's because there is no secret! I can teach you what I know, but there is nothing magical about it! Water is everywhere, in everything. You cannot control it, but you can learn to work with it!'

″Neither Blanc nor Velvet understood Violet's words, but they nodded anyway, too enchanted to argue.″

″Thus, every day at lunch, it was settled that the three would meet at the fields and Violet would teach the two the ways of water. She insisted on meeting up with them individually, so it would usually be that Blanc would get 15 minutes, then Velvet the other 15 minutes. As things went along, the two practiced and practiced, competing with each other to have a better grasp over the water utilizing techniques and one day hope to impress Violet.″

″More so Velvet, even. It could be said that Velvet was in love with Violet. No, scratch that. She was definitely in love with Violet. No 'could' about it. She decided that no matter the outcome of this competition, she had to tell Violet how she really felt about her. 'Tomorrow, I will,' Velvet vowed.

″But that day never came. The next day, Violet was nowhere to be found. There was a black armored truck parked outside of the school. As Blanc, Conrad, and Velvet, along with the rest of the students took their seats, the teacher had to break the news.

″'Class, I regret to inform you that Violet was assassinated by the FBI. They haven't given the cause, only that she had to go.″

″Wow,″ was my initial reaction. Not because her dream, or her story, whatever it should be called, was good, but because I was left speechless. ″Why did she have to die?″

″Tragedy is a recurring theme in my life,″ Velvet retorted.

″Yeah, but it was a dream!″ I protested. ″There was no reason for that! I thought you of all people would have had her live!″

″I didn't want to stray too far from the dream. Otherwise you two wouldn't believe that's how it happened. Sure, I'd love a happy ending, but that's not what happened in the dream, now is it? We're not telling stories we just made up, we're talking dreams, here, people,″ she tried to explain. I wasn't satisfied, but I didn't want to argue the point further. I huffed and crossed my arms.

″I liked it!″ Art commented. Of course Art liked it. Something told me Art would have liked any story. Not that that's a bad thing, but it really rubbed me wrong when he dismissed me trying to describe Euphoria. ″Who were you in it, Satin?″ He continued, asking a question with an obvious answer. ″Conrad? Blanc? Violet herself?″

Velvet laughed and fanned herself. ″Oh my! I think I was probably the teacher! Or maybe I was a student with no role in the story!″

″What? Really?″ Art asked. I would have asked the same, but there would have been a different connotation if I had asked it.

″Now that I think of it, I probably wasn't even a character. More like I was an all seeing God, looking in. Watching the whole thing unfold. All seeing, but powerless to change things.″

″That's so deep!″ Art gasped.

If I never encountered Etna I would think you're the biggest bullshitter alive, the thought crossed my mind. How Velvet could get away with saying all this was beyond me, and yet...I was a little amused. I couldn't help but smirk, just a little.

″You know, I'm glad I'm taking this trip with you guys. It's really relaxing!″ I told the others after letting out a sigh of relief. My feet kicked around a bit under my seat and hit a box. I looked down to see that it was a box of fruit snacks. Something came over me, a flurry of emotions in the air. Contentment was fine for just a moment, but this was something else altogether.

″Whoa! Art, you got fruit snacks?″ I asked, my excitement getting the better of me.

″Yeah, help yourself!″ Art encouraged, and so I opened the box and took out a small bag.

″Gee, I haven't had these since...″ I didn't finish the sentence, remembering that I was a clone and all and that my memories were not my own. ″Well, I haven't had these in forever!″ I exclaimed and grinned.

″Look! This one is in the shape of a strawberry!″ I showed Velvet, then threw it in my mouth. I chewed it a bit and it actually tasted like a strawberry in jelly candy form, or at least what I thought strawberries tasted like.

″Okay, dude. That's a little weird. They're just fruit snacks, kid,″ Velvet dismissed.

Velvet just didn't understand. Truth be told, neither did I, but it's like when there's strong emotions, it's best to ride the wave.

″HEY, MIND IF I HAVE SOME?″ A voice beside me asked.

I didn't even look over, I just smiled and passed some over.

″Sure, help yourself!″

When Blanc opened the box of fruit snacks, I felt a darkness envelop the car. We must have gone through a tunnel, except there were no tunnels. It was an open highway with little to see on either sides. But it was in the day time. The only darkness was inside the car, and the source of the darkness was emanating from this mysterious girl that appeared in the backseat next to Blanc with no explanation.

At first it was just a little weird how excited Blanc was about something that would have made up my diet on any given day. I looked over when they showed me the strawberry shaped jelly, then looked ahead. It was only when I heard the voice when I looked back again.

″HEY, MIND IF I HAVE SOME?″ The voice yelled, but in that voice you might have heard from a squad of cheerleaders at a high school football game.

I turned around and this blonde haired figure in some cheap angel costume was acting all buddy-buddy with ol' Blanc here, patting their head and grinning. She reached her hand and fished some fruit snacks, munching on them and chewing with thunderous fervor.

″THESE ARE SO GOOD! IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY! I'M SHARING FOOD WITH YOU!″ She cheered, food in her mouth, not yet swallowed.

I was just left to stare, not able to reach any other reaction.

What if I opened the car door right now? What if I jumped out, but held onto the handle? Would I enjoy the thrill, the rush? What kind of dangers could it cause? These thoughts raced with no explanation, let alone control.

She turned her head, locked eyes with me. Her eyes piercing, even if her expression should have signified some sense of calm or peace. Bright, glowing, wide, toothy grin.

Yeah, I should. I think I would like that.

I clicked and held on tight, a rush of air shot in just as I did so. Such an act was so unlike me, but I already started and something was telling me that this was what I wanted.

″Velvet! What are you doing?″ Art or Blanc yelled, but despite the difference in their voices, I couldn't make out who from who. My mind was elsewhere, wherever it was.

The hinges tore off and the door, along with me, were sent flying. Whatever came over me was starting to leave, as I tucked my legs in just before the door hit the ground. I couldn't stop what I had already done, but I could try to lessen the damage.

With each skip and bounce off the road, the metal frame of the door dented and I felt every impact. My ankles felt the scrapes against the metal sides, tearing through my flesh. Funny to think that could have been the thing to do me in. Everything I've ever dealt with and it didn't compare to something so simple as flying off with a car door.

It all came to a halt. Short rolls away from the damaged door, into the soft dirt. I was alive, but if I were to live for another day, I would definitely be feeling it the next morning. With a trembling, barely able to move, I inched myself up and saw my surrounding; the car not too far from where I had left it. No longer were we in the plains of the Nevada highway, however, and instead in a dense forest. One that I was unfamiliar with.

″Just what are you?″ I whispered, and buried my face back into the ground.

″Whoa! A real life cryptid! My life is complete now!″ I was astonished to see this, this thing, whatever it was. Well, it looked human enough. Sounded human enough, but no human just appears in the back seat of my car without my knowledge. It must be some otherworldly sorcery.

″Really? You think this is the right time?″ Blanche snapped. ″Velvet just hurtled herself out of your car! We should check on her!″

″Velvet? Don't you mean Satin?″ I puzzled over.

″Fuck! Never mind that! Just stop the damn car!″ Blanche roared. I never thought someone so easy going would be in such a rage.

I should have done it then and there, but nothing else mattered. If that made me irredeemable, so be it, but I was fixed on this specimen.

I can finally die happy, those were my thought, echoing. In response, another thought emerged.

But what death would make you happiest?

I would like to see a tree again. I would like to be surrounded by trees and meadows. Begone with the road, I want the air of pines and bark.

SYCAMORE!

Blanche's shape jumped out of the way just in time. I wished they could have stayed, shared the experience with me. My last moment was a moment of impact: my car and I meeting with a sycamore tree, head on. Just before, I thought just a little more.

This is it. I have reached euphoria.

#happiness overload #dream post #epwrites #writing #stories #writers on tumblr #dreams #fantasy #scifi #euphoria #cryptids

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cosmosogler · 7 years

Text

today i woke up on time!

i saw snoopy had pooped on the couch AND on the rug in front of the sink. so i shoved some in the sample thing and cleaned that up. then i worked out for over 20 minutes, and then i swam for about 10. i made 4 complete laps across the pool, which is... very big. then i showered and then i threw the blanket and rugs into the wash (snoopy’s gotten SOMETHING on all of them by now) and then i took the sample to the vet. getting there wasn’t too bad. i asked the tech at the counter some questions and she suckered me into buying a 20 dollar bottle of friendly cat smell.

the bus only comes once every hour on weekends so i sat at the bus stop and played pokemon and listened to a taz episode while i waited. i completed my taz episode right as i stepped off the bus near my apartment to walk home. then in the last minute of the walk, as soon as i reached the apartment property, the sky opened up and dumped on me. i sprinted to the building and that helped a little bit.

after that i was tired and it had taken about 2 hours to do what i thought would be an 80-90 minute job so i made some lunch. i lost my appetite a few bites in. i cleaned the apartment instead, and then i went grocery shopping.

it always hurts to spend that much money at once but then i realize that this food keeps me going for over a week basically, and it would be more than twice as expensive to try to eat on campus every day. vegetarian-oriented items can get expensive... and the fresh fruit puts a hole in my wallet. but i do feel pretty good, or good enough. i don’t get stomachaches when i eat that stuff, but my body still seems to feel sick.

the trip back from the grocery store was pretty intense! i got some really good practice at looking completely occupied and unwilling to let anyone get in my way. freshman-looking girls and boys parted for me on the sidewalk. i hurt my shoulder carrying the canvas bag. it doesn’t still really hurt, but it is kind of tender when i work the joint.

also for some reason my key wasn’t working on the back door to the building so i had to walk an extra block around the front and then all the way back around the outside to the back where the stairs/elevator are.

after that it was kinda late... i put on another taz and made my team for the pokemon competition. i got ROCKED in my first battle, and then my internet went out during the second battle so i kinda left it at that. i called mom and asked about the dogs and left instructions for my sister to find some gamecube games to send and that took a half hour. i also made a microwave dinner but it was kinda weird tasting and i was sad that it did not taste like actual pad thai at all. like it was a total airball on flavor there.

i opened a smaller window for snoopy and she loved it. and i took out the trash and recycling. i can’t seem to produce enough trash to fill a bag before it’s time for it to be taken out. i don’t mind that- it’s just a shame to be using the normal amount of bags for not a lot of trash.

instead of studying tonight i spent a lot of time training my pokemon and just listening to music and chilling. i combed through all the university’s clubs to look for a hobby that fits my schedule. looks like i’m going to check out the knitting club and maybe the creative writing club. let’s see if i can actually show my art to other people any more. i ain’t made no art in a long time, visual or writing.

i was kind of annoyed with myself for training pokemon but i couldn’t seem to stop. i’m just so tired after all the running around all day and pokemon is a nice thing to keep my hands busy when my brain can’t keep going any more.

i also wanted to check out events for residents around town but the official gainesville event web site hasn’t updated in about four years. so that wasn’t a very good resource.

tomorrow i’m going to go to the physics department and study there. it’s a little easier (not easy, but... less hard) to stay focused in my office compared to my desk at home. partly because it’s a working place, but mostly because i can fit everything comfortably on the desk’s surface and it’s not too cluttered. i haven’t found a good place yet for a bunch of things that have found their home on my desk. since snoopy isn’t using the top of the little drawer any more i might put some stuff there...

snoopy’s starting to fill out a little more. her shoulders feel like a normal animal and not like a skeleton. and i’ve gotten a little better at brushing- short swipes like how cats groom themselves instead of body-length brushes. it doesn’t pick up nearly as much hair, but snoopy seems more comfortable with it.

she also seems to like to lounge where she has a good view of whatever she wants to look at. her bed is by the window and she only hangs out on the top perch of that. she also likes to sleep next to the washing machine with a clear view out past me at my desk into the hallway. and the top of my bed is high enough to see out of the little alcove into the kitchen/living room/window. the little shelf under my desk does not provide much to look at.

that was my day, basically, roughly. it’s weird how body tiredness and mind tiredness are not always in sync. right now both are tired, absolutely, but after my workout this morning really just my body was tired. and most of the time, only my mind is tired. when one is tired the other usually gets super restless. hence the fiddling with pokemon all evening.

i’m not really sure why i still keep losing my appetite. i guess i am pretty stressed... not as lonely with snoop around, but still kinda wanting more out of my conversations. i talk to snoopy but it’s mostly stuff that’s meant to be reassuring. at this point she might think her name is “good girl” haha.

i think snoopy and i are a good match for each other personality wise. there’s some learning and adjusting behaviors happening of course but she’s very affectionate and i have a lot of affection to give. we’re also both kinda low-energy and fairly quiet.

she’s kind of like eve in that she loves pets and can’t get enough of a good scratch under the chin, but she doesn’t like cuddling at all. that’s fine with me. but it’s kind of funny because snoopy likes to perch on the couch’s arm and won’t let me help her balance with two hands so sometimes she ends up leaning into my hand and almost tipping off the couch. she probably would slip less if she had claws.

oh, today she discovered that she can use the smaller couch to get up on my kitchenware shelves. she was poking my silverware with her nose. she’s pretty good about cutting it out when i use a more urgent tone of voice at least. or when i gently push her nose away from my food with the back of my hand. i wonder what she was like when she was younger.

anyway i guess i should get ready for bed. in my dreams last night i took a swim to the bottom of the ocean looking for a palace that was popping in and out of existence like there was some kind of static between it and reality. i caught a glimpse of it, toward the end, but the currents were too strong so i never really got anywhere near it.

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