#mikes perfect lil butt

[mikepattonsperkybutt]

Here’s some AD Era Perky Butt…

#ad era mike #mike patton #let’s ease into things with a little ad era perky butt #it’s perfect yes it’s true #mikes slappable ass #mikes perky lil butt

[biggest-stupidhead]

Hello! I'm gonna drop here another request 🤣 This could be a headcanon or a scenario, whatever you feel comfortable with!

Let's just say the clumsy new cadet!reader landed a punch a little too strong and broke Captain Levi's nose by accident?

Thanks!

omfg I love this so much 

Summary: Levi underestimates your strength 

Word Count: 1.7K 

__ 

It was late in the afternoon and you were pooped. The day had been long and taxing, beginning with stable duties, then cleaning, followed promptly by ODM practice and upkeep. The captain had kept you all on your toes throughout the day, seamlessly ordering you into your next task. So as you doubled over in an attempt to recover your regular breathing pattern you silently prayed for the day to come to a close miraculously two hours early. 

“This sucks.” Jean huffed across from you, mirroring your stance as he turned and spat a glob of saliva out onto the dusty ground. 

“I second that.” Connie agreed breathlessly from behind you, Sasha’s wheezing breath was distracting you from your own breathing and you found yourself hacking as you tried to refocus. Mikasa on the other hand was totally fine, her eyes lazily scanning the training grounds as she waited for her next orders. Armin and Eren were on their knees as they tried to recover from the sprints that you hall had just finished. 

“Pack it up brats, meet me at the courtyard in no more than three minutes.” Levi ordered, the whirring of his gear signaling his retreat. You huffed, jealous of his ability to use the gear, you and the rest of your squad had left your gear back at the supply barn, having thought that the day’s training was nearly finished. The only task that he could possibly throw at you now was sparring, something that you rarely did as scouts, and when you did do it, the exercise was often held first thing in the morning. So when you all arrived at the courtyard to find Levi with his arms crossed and wooden knives at his feet, you felt your heart sink. How could he be so cruel? Mikasa clicked her tongue next to you, clearly thinking the same thing as you. Eren groaned a bit too loudly, Connie whimpered and Sasha sighed heavily. Jean remained silent, but the gloomy aura surrounding him was enough to hint that he felt the dismay that you all felt as well. 

“What are you waiting for? Pair off already.” Levi snapped impatiently and all of you jumped to find partners. This was always an issue within your squad, especially when it came to sparring. There was an odd number, meaning that one of you had to partner up with the captain. You lunged to grab Armin but Jean beat you to him, snatching him and dragging him well out of your reach, Eren and Mikasa were already picking up a knife, Connie gave you a look that was laced with pity as Sasha linked her arm with his. You huffed and stuck your tongue out at him before making the walk of shame over to Levi. 

“I’ll be the attacker.” He said as he stooped to grab a knife, you swallowed nervously but braced yourself for what you were sure would be the worst ass whopping in your life. Levi held the wooden knife with a frown, he studied it momentarily before with a flick of his wrist her had the fake weapon spinning in the air. He caught it effortlessly and nodded in approval. Now he was just showing off, you thought bitterly as you focused on him entirely. In the blink of an eye he rushed you, the knife held against his side, no doubt a habit from his earlier years. You panicked and narrowly sidestepped his attack, the blunt knife cutting through the air where you once stood. Levi stepped back before you could even think about landing a blow. You held your fists up, determination replacing the shock you had felt. You were going to see this fight through to the bitter end. He caught the flash of conviction in your features and decided that he would extinguish it promptly. 

He lunged once more at you, this time opting to make a stabbing motion right to your abdomen, a move he wouldn’t dream of making if he had a real knife in his hand, he preferred slashing over stabbing, stabbing took too much effort, while slashing allowed for less energy and more space between himself and his opponent. He regretted this almost instantly, having severely underestimated both your speed and your strength behind your punches. You sidestepped the stab and clocked him right in the nose, your fist connecting with his face with a sickening crunch. In his moment of pure shock, you snatched the wooden knife from his grasp and tossed it to the side. You used your weight to push Levi back onto his butt, and then flat on his back. He could only blink up at the blue sky as his nose throbbed in pain. It was then when you got a clear look at the damage that you had inflicted that you gasped, blood was leaking from his nose, both from his nostrils and a small cut that you’d managed to create from the sheer force of your fist. 

“Captain! I am so so sorry.” You whispered as you reached into his breast pocket, where you knew that he kept a fresh handkerchief. You pressed it to his nose and his grey eyes left the sky to stare at you, brows raised and mouth open in shock. You were knelt next to him, one hand on his shoulder, the other pinching his nose for him. Levi felt the shock wear off once he realized how stupid he must look. He sat upright at the speed of light, and you yelped. He sighed and watched as the soiled fabric fell onto the dusty ground, the crimson that stained the crisp white only solidified that he had been bested by a cadet. 

“Good work cadet, that was...unexpected.” He admitted as he turned to face you. You swallowed thickly and shook your head rapidly. 

“Lucky shot I guess?” You said nervously as you studied the damage once more, this time you noticed the way that his nose was slightly crooked. 

“You should...probably get that checked out.” You said, pointing at his nose, worried that it would be you who marred the captains perfect features. 

“Just a broken nose, not the first time it’s happened and I’m willing to be it won’t be the last either.” Levi sighed as he stood and offered you a hand to help you to your own feet. You accepted and he turned to the other cadets, who were all staring at you with slack jaws. 

“That’s enough for today, go get washed up for dinner.” Levi said, pinching his nose once he finished speaking. Your peers saluted him and made a clean getaway, kicking up the dust as they scurried away. You felt much to guilty to let Levi walk to the infirmary by himself, and for whatever reason he had no qualms in letting you accompany him. But you noticed that he was in fact not heading towards the infirmary, but instead Hange’s lab. 

“Sir....where are we-” 

“I can’t stand the pompous doctor.” He said, as if that was enough of an explanation. 

“So who-” 

“Hange can set bones back just as good as the next idiot.” He said simply as he gave one curt knock before entering. Hange looked up from behind the pile of books and let out a bark of laughter. 

“Sparring with Mike again? What good has that ever done you?” She asked as she rounded the table and reached onto one of the top shelves to produce a first aid kit. 

“Wasn’t sparring with that oaf.” Levi grunted as he dropped into one of the chairs in Hange’s lab. She hummed thoughtfully, and looked up from her work to catch your eyes. 

“Can you confirm this cadet?” She asked, a playful glint in her eyes as you averted your eyes and flushed. 

“Actually...” 

“She’s the one that broke my nose.” Levi said, beating you to it and stating it much more bluntly than you would have. Hange let out a roar of laughter and slapped her knee in her enthusiasm. 

“That’s just rich! Wow great work (Y/n)! I mean I would’ve expected this from Ackerman, or maybe even Eren. But you? My god this is just-” 

“Set my nose already shitty glasses.” Levi snapped, having had enough of her teasing, his already thin patience was worn to near exhaustion. Hange sighed and motioned for you to come closer. 

“Let’s use this as a teaching opportunity shall we?” She mused as you came to stand at her shoulder. You weren’t sure if you had much of a choice so you simply nodded and she smirked devilishly at you. She brought her hands to the side of Levi’s head, he closed his eyes and let out a slow breath as Hange moved a hand over the bridge of his nose. 

“When setting any bone it is important to do so quickly and unapologetically.” She said formally as she tenderly examined the wound. She reached behind her with her free hand and dabbed a cotton ball to the bloody skin, you swallowed nervously as she now returned to grip the bridge of his nose. 

“On the count of three Levi.” She hummed as she seemed to brace herself. Levi didn’t even open his eyes at her warning. 

“One...” 

CRACK

You yelped at the loud sound, Hange was quick to reach for some more cotton which she stuffed up Levi’s nostrils. Levi groaned when she finished and reclined further in the chair, his knuckles white from squeezing the arms of the seat. 

“Oh my god.” Was all you could manage as Hange wiped her hands off on a towel. 

“Go ahead and take him to dinner. He’ll be fine in the next couple of weeks.” She waved you off, shooing the both of you out of her office. When the door slammed shut behind the two of you, you turned to Levi with a twisted expression. 

“Captain I am so sorry, I really didn’t mean to. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” You practically begged as Levi closed his eyes and ran a hand through his messy locks. 

“Well....you can do my paperwork for me.” He said, you immediately regretted extending your kindness, much to Levi’s amusement. 

“I’ll go make us some tea then...” You mumbled turning to stalk off towards the kitchen. Levi watched you walk away, pride swelling in his chest, he didn’t think that you had it in you. Now all he had to do was get you to stop apologizing all the god damn time. 

__

Oh my god, this was such a fun lil idea. 

#levi x reader #levi aot #snk levi #levi x you #levi x y/n #reader instert #aot fanfiction #aot fandom #levi squad #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman #fluff? #levi/reader #levi is soft for u

[nashibirne]

My Best Mistake

This is my first try of a Mike fic and I have to admit I haven't seen Hellraiser: Hellworld yet. So all I think to know about Mike is based on fics, gifs and pictures and maybe it's not that accurate but I hope you're gonna like it. 

This one-shot was planned as pure smut and not much more but in the process of writing, it turned out to be something completely different. So Mike's not only managed to surprise my OFC but me too. 

So here we go....

**************************

Pairing: Mike x OFC

Summary: Girl meets boy at a bar and he doesn't come up to her expectations.

Warnings: Mentioning of death and sex...a tiny little bit of smut at the end

Unbeta'ed. All mistakes are mine. English is not my first language so please expect bad grammar and spelling

Tags: @hell1129-blog @lunedelorient @willkatfanfromasia @inlovewithhisblueeyes @mis-lil-red @agniavateira

I know he is my next mistake the moment I see him coming through the door. It's not his good looks that tell me he's trouble. Not his tall, muscular body, not the cool clothes -Jeans, plain white T-shirt, black leather jacket-, not this very handsome face with the outstanding blue eyes or the thick, dark curls that invite me to run my hands through his hair. It's the smirk, the smug expression, the sly smile, the cockiness he exudes from every pore. This guy is pure swagger, sex on legs...call it what you want, but I'm hooked on him on first sight and I hate the fact that I'm so attracted to such a player, by the bad boy sex appeal he oozes.

When he enters the bar a group of boys and girls, who are sitting in a corner with cosy sofas and lounge chairs placed around a large round table, start cheering and yelling his name.

MIKE

He greets the guys with fist bumps and winks at the girls. Some of them blush under his gaze but none of them seems to be his girlfriend. When he starts telling his friends something that seems to be a longer story -judging by all the giggling of the girls and the laughter of his mates a very funny one- the whole group hangs on his every word. It's obvious that he loves being the center of attention. He knows how good looking and attractive he is, he knows he's the leader of the pack and he wants every single person in this bar to know it too. The physical reaction of my body to him is ridiculous and pathetic. I call myself a feminist, an emancipated woman but I still want this himbo with the caveman aura with every fibre of my body. I know this is a bad idea, I've had my fair share of trouble with this kind of fuckboys. They think they're the greatest but the sex is usually bad and over much too soon and afterwards they treat you like some kind of slut when in fact they are the man whores.

I look at my mobile to check the time. Where the fuck is Emma. We said we'd meet here at 9, now it's almost 9:30 and she's nowhere to be seen. I text her. "Where are you?"

No reaction. I think about leaving but I decide to give her another 15 minutes. I can't help but watch Mike and his friends again. They seem to have a good time. Lots of fun, lots of alcohol. Two girls are making out passionately and the guys applaud and whistle enthusiastically. This is so cliché-ridden, I roll my eyes.

Mike is sitting on the back of one of the sofas, watching the spectacle with a big grin, taking a sip from a bottle of beer from time to time. After a while he starts scanning the room and that's when our eyes meet. His gaze holds mine and when he gives me a wink and a smirk I know he's interested.

I'm not surprised. I know I'm pretty in a conventional way. The all american girl, long blonde hair, lovely face, great boobs, nice ass. It's nothing I'm proud of because I haven't done anything to achieve it. It was given to me by mother nature or god or genetics or whatever and to be honest I consider my looks quite boring, ordinary and replaceable. There are dozens of girls that look exactly like me. But guys like Mikey over there, they like this average kind of beauty. It's exactly what they want and what they get. He's the jock and I'm the cheerleader. He's the hot college athlete and I'm the queen bee. He's the hunter and I'm the prey. I've played this game many times before and I'm sick of it. It's not what I want. I don't want the jocks anymore. I want a smart guy, an intellectual, a feminist, a sophisticated, grown-up man who's interested in politics, arts, books. But that's not what I get because these guys are interested in the girls with an unconventional beauty, with a remarkable style. They want extraordinary women, smart women, independent women. Not a random bimbo like me.

I flinch when my phone starts to vibrate in my hand. It's Emma calling. Her car broke down and now she's waiting for the breakdown service. She won't make it.

I take a deep breath and try to ignore the guy at the other end of the bar who's been seeking my attention since the moment I've arrived. 

I need to pee. I get up and head to the restrooms and I know Mike is watching me. I give him a flirtatious smile when I pass him and his friends and I can feel his gaze on my backside, lingering on my butt and my long legs.

When I return he waits for me. He leans against the bar casually, right beside the barstool with my jacket on it, a lopsided smile on his pretty face.

I know I should grab my things and leave but I don't. There's something about the way he looks me up and down that turns me on. And there's something in his eyes that makes me wonder if I misjudged him. If I was being led on by my own prejudices.

I sit down and give him a quick look before I lower my eyes. That's the game. He's going to make the first move. Or at least he wants to be given the feeling that he is.

"Hi. I'm Mike." he says and I turn to him. His smile is bright and very confident.

I smile back and bat my long lashes. "Hi. I'm Sarah. Nice to meet you, Marc."

"No, it's Mike." he says, leaning in to make me understand him better. He's very close now. "Mike. Like in Magic Mike." he says with a smirk. His lips are amazing.

"Oh. I see." I giggle and I hate that I know how to play this game so damn well.

"So why is a beauty like you sitting at the bar in a place like this all on her own?"

"I was waiting for my friend, but her car broke down so she can't make it." 

"So you need someone to keep you company, huh." Mike asks and he cocks his head looking at me like a lost puppy.

"Actually I was just about to leave." I say with a fake-shy smile.

"Great idea." He reaches into the pocket of his jacket, gets out some bills and places them on the bar beside my empty glass of beer. "Let's go." He takes my hand and tries to drag me from my chair. I can't help but laugh.

"This is crazy. I don't even know you. Why would I leave with you?" 

"Because you need a good adventure and some fun. I can see the sadness in your eyes. I can take it away."

I'm speechless for a moment. How does he know this? There is this sadness deep inside of me but I'm sure it doesn't show in my eyes because no one has ever told me before. In all the time that's passed since my dad died nobody has realized that I'm still mourning. 

"Come with me." 

"You could be a serial killer." I say though I already know that I'm going to leave with him.

"I'm not. You can trust me."

Strangely enough that's exactly what I do.

"What about your friends?"

"They can do without me. And they're not really my friends." He shrugs.

"And what are they?"

"Just...people I know and hang out with." Mike says and it sounds like a question.

I hop off my chair and put on my jacket.

"Ok then...let's go."

****

I hesitate when we're standing in front of his pick-up truck. 

"What's wrong." Mike looks at me.

"What about 'Don't drink and drive'?" I say with a frown.

"Don't worry. I've only had lite beer. Alcohol-free."

I snort. "Guys like you don't drink lite beer."

"Guys like me?" 

I don't know how to answer and just shrug.

"See, I don't know what you think to know about 'guys like me', but I lost my best friend to that kind of shit. He caused an accident when he was drunk and he and two other people died. So I don't drink when I drive." A sad look crosses his face for a split second.

"That's dreadful. I'm sorry." 

Now Mike's the one who shrugs it off and I know now how he's detected my sadness. He hides just the same feelings.

"Hop on." He says grinning and I obey.

Minutes later we're heading down the freeway right into sunset. 

"Where are we going?" I like his truck, it's surprisingly tidy and somehow cosy. 

"I don't know. Where do you want to go?"

He gives me a smile and starts fumbling with the radio until some music starts playing. It's 'Promise me' by Badflower. God, I love this song. It makes me happy and sad at the same time.

"You said you can take away the sadness." 

"You want me to make you happy?" His smirk is lewd and oh so sexy. I bite my lip. 

"So this is just about sex?" I ask a little disappointed. "You took me away from the bar just for sex? We could have had that in the parking lot or in the restrooms." 

Mike seems to be surprised. "You would have fucked me in the restrooms?"

I roll my eyes before turning away to stare out of the window.

"Hey, I was just teasing you. Don't be mad." He touches my arm gently and when I look at him he gives me those puppy dog eyes again and I can't help but laugh.

"So where are you taking me, Mike?"

"You really want to forget about that sadness?"

"What I want is peace of mind." I say with a deep sigh.

"Then I know just the perfect place."  He smiles at me and gives my cheek a tender stroke before he hits the gas and we race into the night.

20 minutes later Mike turns off the freeway onto a small dirt road where he parks the truck. We get out of the car and I take a look around. We're in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nothing but trees and darkness. I start doubting my sanity. Is this really a good idea? I have no clue where I am, actually no one besides Mike knows where I am, and I'm with a complete stranger plus I have no idea what he's up to. And yet I feel good. Reckless and excited. Maybe this is some kind of subconscious death wish. I hear Mike rustling on the backseat. He's stuffing something into a sports bag and I hope it's not his serial killer basic equipment.

"Come on, Sarah. Let's go." He takes my hand and I follow him though I know I shouldn't.

"Where are we? Where are we going, Mike?"

"Into the void." He answers without looking at me. Instead he gives my hand a tender squeeze and I get goosebumps all over my body. 

A few minutes later we're standing in front of a large chain-link fence that's topped with barbed wire. 

"What now?" 

Mike grins at me and starts searching through the bag. He rakes out a large tool.

"Now we get in." 

"Wait? Is that a bolt cutter?"

"Sure, or would you prefer to climb?"

"Mike, there's a big sign that says "No trespassing". We can't do this. What if we get caught?" I start to panic. "This is illegal."

Mike doesn't seem to be impressed by my objections. He starts cutting the fence calmly and skillfully and it dawns on me that he doesn't do this for the first time.

"Mike!" I tug on his jacket. "Stop it. This is insane. We're gonna get arrested."

He stops and turns around to face me.

"I'm already done. Don't worry, baby. I know who's the owner of the land. He's not in town. It's gonna be alright." He leans in and gives me a sweet kiss. No tongue. All I feel is his gorgeous lips and the heat that arises within me. It's a tender kiss. Gentle but also sexy. Innocent but yet promising.

He pulls away and smirks before he turns to the fence and holds the make-shift gate, that he has cut into it, open for me.

"Come on."

I hesitate but finally I squeeze through the hole. He shoulders the bag and follows me. After only a few minutes of walking down a beaten path we hear rustling sounds and footsteps. 

"Stop! Whoever is there. Stop. Now!"

We stop in our tracks and Mike drags me down. We crouch behind a large bush and he lays his index finger on my lips to shush me.

Flashlight shines through the darkness and the footsteps come closer. I stare at Mike, scared and bewildered.

"You said the owner's not around." I whisper as quietly as possible.

"That's not the owner. It's security." Mike whispers back.

"Security? What the fuck, Mike... "

"I promised you adventure." He gives me a wink and I wonder how he manages to stay so calm when we're just about to get arrested or worse.

"Who's there? This is private property. Get out."

The voice is close now.

Mike takes my hand and brings his mouth close to my ear. "Get up and run." he whispers. "On three." I have no time to contradict.

He squeezes my hand. One. Two. Three.

We get up and start to run. Into the forest. Into the darkness. Into our adventure.

"Hey!" Security guy yells at us and we can hear that he's trying to follow us but we're too fast for him. We run like a bat out of hell, pushing through the undergrowth. After a few minutes, when we're sure that we've shaken off our pursuer, we stop and lean against a large tree, panting and completely out of breath. I haven't felt so alive in years.

We look at each other and we burst out laughing frantically.

"You're fast for a girl." Mike says, still laughing.

"College track- and field team. I'm fast and strong. Is that a problem?" I say with a big grin. 

"No. I like strong women." He gives me a wink.

I flinch when I hear a branch break behind us. "Do you think he will keep looking for us?"

Mike shakes his head. "Nope. He doesn't get paid enough to make such kind of extra efforts. He's already back on his perch, watching porn on his cell, eating donuts and drinking beer. Believe me."

I cock my head and look at him with a frown. "How can you be so sure?"

Mike wiggles his eyebrows but I get no answer.

"Come on. It's still a few minutes to go."

The few minutes turn out to be at least half an hour. I'm just about to complain when we reach a big glade and suddenly we have a clear view of a big, dark lake that is surrounded by the woods from three sides.  The clearing we've just reached is the only way to approach this beautiful stretch of water. Moonlight illuminates the dreamlike scene. I'm amazed.

"Wow. This is fantastic." 

Mike just smiles at me and starts to flatten out a large blanket that must have been in his bag. 

"Come. Sit with me." 

I plop down right beside him. My arms wrapped around my knees I stare at the smooth surface of the dark waters. It calms me down immediately. Mike sits beside me, his long legs stretched out. We don't speak and we are surrounded by complete silence. There are no sounds. No traffic noise, no birds twittering, no wind that rustles through the trees. Only our soft breathing that soothes me even further. This is the kind of peace I've been looking for for so long. I lay down on my back and look at the sky. There are no clouds but what seems to be a million stars. We're literally lying under the Milky Way.

"This is beyond beautiful." I whisper after a while. Mike lays down beside me. He takes my hand but he keeps looking at the starlit sky.

"I know. It's my secret place. I go here often when my thoughts get too loud. It calms me down. That's why I thought it might give you some peace of mind."

"It does." I turn to look at him. "So who's the owner?" 

He gives me a cheeky smile. "My father."

"Are you kidding me?" I start laughing.

"No. He's a lumber merchant, owns a lumber mill and a lot of land. These woods are his assets."

"Then why the fuck did we have to creep through a hole in the fence and run away from the security guy?" I shake my head in disbelief.

"Well, let's just say we don't get along so well lately."

"What happened?"

"I threw a huge party in one of his cabins in the woods. It got a little out of hand and ended with a forest fire, a report to the police and lots of trouble."

"Oh shit."

"Yeah." Mike starts laughing. "Biggest pile of shit I've ever caused. So now I have to sneak in to visit my favorite places. And this lake is the best of all." 

"Yes. It's beautiful. So dark and enchanted somehow but not frightening. It's simply..."

"Romantic?" Mike looks me in the eyes and butterflies start flapping their wings in my belly.

"Yes." Is all I'm able to whisper.

Mike clears his throat and recites a poem I've never heard before.

"Along the shore the cloud waves break,

The twin suns sink beneath the lake,

The shadows lengthen

In Carcosa.

Strange is the night where black stars rise,

And strange moons circle through the skies,

But stranger still is

Lost Carcosa.

Songs that the Hyades shall sing,

Where flap the tatters of the King,

Must die unheard in

Dim Carcosa.

Song of my soul, my voice is dead;

Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed

Shall dry and die in

Lost Carcosa."

"This is beautiful." I say surprised. "What's it called?"

"It's from the book 'The King in Yellow" by Robert W. Chambers. The poem's called "Cassilda's Song""

"You're interested in literature and poetry?" I've really misjudged this guy.

"Well, to be honest, this place from the poem -Carcosa- it's mentioned in 'True Detective'. The TV show. You know it?"

"No, I don't." I shake my head.

"Really? It's a must-see. Matthew Mc Conaughey, Woody Harrelson. We can binge it tomorrow at my place. If you want to."

"Sure." 

"Well, anyway...I was kind of fascinated by this Carcosa thing and I looked it up on google and I found out about Chamber's book and then I read it and I really love it because it so morbid and dark and beautiful and especially Cassilda's Song reminds me of this place so much. This is my Carcosa. Dark, lost and strange but peaceful and soothing at the same time. It's good and bad, dark and light, sadness and joy. Like me." 

His voice is barely a whisper now and I suddenly have a lump in my throat. The sadness in his eyes is killing me and I can see that he's close to tears. 

I smile at him and touch his cheek. He turns to me and we kiss. Long, slow kisses. Sloppy. Sexy. Sensual. Intense. When we make love later that night on that itchy blanket under a sky full of stars, I know I've been wrong. When I scratch my nails into his back when he makes me come, when he sighs my name when he gets off,  when we talk for hours afterwards, cuddled up to each other, waiting for the sunrise, making plans for the new day, I know he's the best mistake I've ever made.

#henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fanfic #mike hellraiser #mike x ofc #mike hellraiser x ofc

[sinfulserpents]

Could I pls request a fic/headcanons/whatever tickles your fancy of the party being super fond of you but find out your dating resident asshole (aka total daddy) billy

i feel like you’d become friends with the party randomly

like you’d be at the arcade while they were there

they’d ask you if they could play pacman after you

and you’d just tell them to join you and have a contest

after that every time they were at the arcade they’d look for you and invite you to join them

you’d become super protective of your kids, making sure that they were all fed and had a ride home 

especially after they told you what happened to will

el would adore you

like her eyes would literally light up when you were around

and she’d always have her arm wrapped around yours

im crying, el is baby™️

they’d probably try to set you up with steve eventually 

even though he was still very much in love with nancy at the time

and for a while you were crushing on the ex-king of hawkins

but as soon as the hargroves/mayfields arrive at hawkins, your attention turned to the brooding male in a denim jacket

and much to your surprise his attention was on you as well

but the kids fucking hated him

even his step sister max who unofficially joined the party

and became your favourite since she was a firecracker 

i have a thing for calling max lil firecracker - it’s fucking cute okay

and they’d all tell you to stay away from billy

because he tried to scare them by chasing them down with his car

and he yells at max

both of those things would make you fucking mad

so you’d chew billy out for it next time you see him at school

dragging him into the bathroom once everyone had retreated to class

billy lowkey thought you were finally gonna jump him

but instead you start yelling at him for threatening your babies

and in the end he’d just get fed up with your nagging

so he slams his lips onto yours to get you to shut up

and from that moment on y’all start to meet up in secret

at the back of the library

ditching class to desperately make out in his camaro

he’d start sneaking into your window at night once you found out about the shit his dad puts him through

some nights y’all would get your freak on

but most nights after he sneaks in, he just needs to be held

that’s how the kids would find out that you guys are together

they’d arrive at your house, you making the promise that you would drive them to go pick up another D&D board for lucas

and they’d impatiently knock on your door 

thank god your parents weren’t home

but you’d be fast asleep in your boyfriends arms

his nose nuzzled into your neck and your legs intertwined with his

eventually mike would just be like

“maybe she’s not home - she’s probably making out with steve at his house; let’s go”

but dustin is fucking stubborn

so he’d lift your doormat and pick up your house key just stating “her car’s in the driveway dumbass”

and he’d unlock your door and call out for you but receive no response

so the kids would search downstairs for you 

but then max being the only braincell in the group would look at her friends and be like

“hey dickheads, she’s probably asleep in her room!”

so they’d all fucking tip-toe upstairs after lucas suggested just storming into your room and jumping on top of you to wake you up

when they reach your door, dustin would put one hand on the doorknob and raise his other to do a countdown from five

before swinging your door open and making it slam against the wall

you would jump awake when you heard a collective scream of your name

and billy would wrap his arms around your waist tighter, pulling you closer with a groan

the kids would all fall silent and cover their eyes when they saw the familiar mullet-headed douchebag cuddling you

dustin would let out a high pitch “what the shit?!”

while max would be like “billy?!”

and you and your californian god of a boyfriend would quickly sit up and pull the sheets up to your fucking necks

you’d just be like “guys what the hell are you doing here?”

and lucas would roll his eyes behind his hand covering his eyes

before tossing his hand up in the air with a “you promised to buy me a new D&D board!”

with a loud groan you’d wipe your eyes and look towards billy who was awkwardly staring at you with a look that just screamed ‘fuck’

and dustin would pipe up finally, the shock slightly wearing off

“so you and steve aren’t together?”

and you’d furiously shake your head and tell him definitely not 

dustin would highkey be disappointed as fuck

after a pregnant pause that was really tense and awkward

you’d look at the teens and gesture towards the door like

“c-can you guys go wait out in the living room while i get ready - i’ll take you to get your D&D board”

they wouldn’t need to be told twice as they all rushed to get out, slamming the door shut behind them

you’d flop back down on the bed with a humph

and billy would chuckle before joining you in laying back down

pulling you back into his arms and pressing a kiss to your collarbone, before mumbling a “g’mornin’ baby” into your neck with a chuckle

and you’d giggle before running your hands through his knotted blonde curls, saying good morning back

it’d be silent while you both just spent a couple of minutes just enjoying each other 

trying to ignore the fact that six teenagers almost saw y’all butt naked

after a bit you’d give out a little whine, pulling yourself out of billy’s arms and start getting ready to take the kids out

and billy would pout after you pulled on a shirt before making grabby hands at you

he’d probably be like “do you have to take those dorks shopping? can’t harrington do it instead?”

and you’d chuckle, before pressing a kiss to his forehead 

“sorry babe, they like me more than steve”

“who wouldn’t choose you over harrington? but fine, I’ll be right here, naked in your bed, waiting for you to come home”

with a laugh and one final kiss to billy’s lips you’d walk down the stairs

mentally preparing yourself to face the obvious series of 101 questions that you were about to be grilled with

they were obviously talking about what they had previously witnessed since they were all standing in a circle 

and max hand her arms crossed over her chest

that probably wasn’t a good sign

you’d grab your keys and tell them to hurry up and pile into your car

they were silent while they buckled up and waited for you to pull out of your driveway 

but as soon as you began driving you best believe they began grilling you

like all of them talking at once at you 

while you just sat there for a minute trying to make out what each of them were individually saying

before you had enough and just yelled at them to shut the hell up

a collective silence settled in and you’d just sigh, and nervously tap your thumb on the steering wheel before sternly looking at all of them 

and then returning your gaze to the road - we aint trynna crash 

“i know you guys don’t like billy-”

mike would fucking cut you off with a “like? we hate him”

and dustin would add on a “despise him”

causing you you to roll your eyes and hold your hand up as a sign for them to shut up

“-and i know you guys want to protect me; because i’d do the same thing for you, but billy is honestly a good guy. he treats me like a fucking queen, he listens to me, makes sure i’m comfortable with everything and is overall an all around good guy who’s just got some shit going on, okay?”

they’d all be silent waiting for you to add anything

“can you guys just support me for now? i hate having you all mad with me and if, only if, billy breaks my heart - you’re all allowed to tell me ‘told you so’ and take any comic from my collection that you want”

the last part would pull a collective laugh from the group 

max would smile at you before placing her hand on your shoulder over the seat before stating to the group

“billy has been happier recently, he hasn’t yelled at me much and actually laughed at one of my jokes. At first i thought it was because a coach from the university of cali offered him a scholarship - but now i believe it’s because of Y/N”

a genuinely happy smile would creep up on your face and you’d take a hand off the wheel to give her hand a squeeze

after that they’d just become supportive babies

always making sure that billy was being the perfect boyfriend to you

they probably came back to your house after shopping and sat him down on the couch to grill him about his intentions with you

i love protective! party so much

#billy #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove oneshot #billy hargrove one shot #billy hargrove headcanon #billy hargrove head canon #billy hargrove x oc #billy hargrove fanfic #stranger things #stranger things 3 #stranger things s3 #stranger things season 3 #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #stranger things one shot #stranger things oneshot #stranger things headcanon #stranger things head canon #stranger things fanfic #stranger things billy #stranger things billy hargrove #strangerthings #one shot

[gayoperatorgunclub]

Is the ultimate ship meme still open? If so, may we p-please get Thatcher/Kaid for it ÓwÒ

i think this’ll be the last one i do for right now, but feel free to send more in!!! it’ll just take a while for me to get to em. anyways, here are your old men: 

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - til one of them dies but i think they’d be the types to grow old together, just without any of the relaxing that usually comes with that trope. they both decided when they were very young that they’d work til they died

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - slowly, but steadily. neither are very outwardly affectionate, but it’s clear to everyone around them that they’re in love

How was their first kiss? - they had been sparring, when jalal leant down and gave a mike a lil kiss :) 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - jalal. they were watching the sunset on mike’s boat, and he just gently pressed the ringbox into mike’s hand

Who is the best man/men? - for mike: sledge. for jalal: oryx

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - for mike: dokkaebi. for kaid: nomad

Who did the most planning? - neither! they don’t really enjoy big ceremonies

Who stressed the most? - they were both nervous, but they’re both at that stage in life where they know better than to stress too much. they’re just chill grandpas with trauma :*)

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - they didn’t really invite anyone to the wedding besides the neccessary witnesses and close friends, but ig mike’s ex 

Sex:

Who is on top? - i think they switch, but more often than not mike’s on top

Who is the one to instigate things? - both! they usually schedule it tho 

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - they are OLD!!!!!!! so not very long

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - multiple orgasms??? at this age?????

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - they have enough kids in rainbow as it is, the last thing they need is actual children running around, especially on a boat. jalal’s sphynx cat is more than enough, thanks

How many children will they adopt? - ALL OF RAINBOW

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - neither

Who is the stricter parent? - the two of them are sometimes the only semblance of a parent to these operators, so they simultaneously have to be firm, but nurturing. luckily, they’ve both perfected the art of Fathering

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - the amount of times jalal has explained to a drunk oryx that he can’t run through concrete, or mike has told smoke that mustard gas has been banned from war, so no he can’t use it during training is truly worrying

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - idk but mike is the more protective one. if anyone outside of rainbow makes some bigoted/racist comment to one of His Kids, he’ll have to be restrained by seamus and gilles before he beats their ass (one time some dipshit was catcalling dokki, and mike almost committed a murder)

Who is the more loved parent? - depends on the op!

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - in the event an operator is severely injured during a mission (physically or emotionally), their Government-Assigned Dad WILL be present when harry comes to interview them or w/e. gotta protect the kids from Institution, you know? 

Who cried the most at graduation? - they don’t cry, but they do give massive bear hugs whenever something big happens for one of the other ops

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - mike, as long as they had a good reason 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - jalal. mike can only acquire food, he knows nothing about preparing it

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - mike. he hates stringy cheese

Who does the grocery shopping? - mike. he always complains about jalal spending too much on brand name stuff when the store brand version is just as good, AND significantly cheaper! 

How often do they bake desserts? - whenever one of them has time to pick up cake or ice cream or something

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - meat lover meat lover meat lover meat lover

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - mike, with maestro’s assistance

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - also mike, but he demands takeout. stupid ass hermit man

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - mike is not allowed to cook because of this

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - jalal. he’s very neat and orderly

Who is really against chores? - mike hates cleaning. slob. 

Who cleans up after the pets? - mike acts like jalal’s cat is a nuisance, but he secretly adores her, so he makes sure her litterbox is always clean, fills her water dish, and gives her extra treats

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - mike

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - neither. they don’t invite guests over (they joke about seamus legally being a resident of the Iron Maiden since he’s there so often)

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - seamus. mike immediately demanded it be given to him as seamus’ rent

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - jalal’s cat

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - when both jalal and mike are on a mission, seamus and adriano will take care of jalal’s cat, which includes taking her for walks like a dog. she’s a very adventurous little lady

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - mike has fairy lights strung up around the boat, but that’s about it

What are their goals for the relationship? - mutual contentment and companionship!!!!

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - jalal’s cat

Who plays the most pranks? - jalal :)

#sorry this took so long bud!!! school sucks >:( #ask #anonymous #r6s thatcher #r6s kaid #thatcher/kaid #ass alert! #thank you for interacting!

[likethetailofacomet]

HEY YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR CHARACTERS. SO. POP QUIZ. 🦆 What is Jake’s favorite food that Kara makes? What is Karas’s favorite food that Jake makes? Whose cookin does Molly Llama prefer?

OH BOY! COMMENCE FLUFF WAR 2018! @ooo-barff-ooo @zaffrenotes YA SHOULDA LEFT THE SLEEPING FLUFF LAY.

Let’s call this: 

Mama or Daddy…or Llama?

Jake and Kara sat on the porch withMolly, waiting for Rebecca to pull up, Molly sitting in Jake’s lap,squishing his cheeks between her chubby hands, and laughinguncontrollably at the faces he was pulling. Kara watched them with asmile, one hand resting on her belly where they’d recently learnedthat not one but two little wolf cubs were growing, her other handtwined with Jake’s as they rocked slowly on the swing. It was abeautiful late September afternoon with bright sunshine and just thehint of a cool breeze blowing through the trees and the plethora ofpurple blossoms that adorned their yard. She sometimes couldn’tbelieve that this was their life; that they’d gone through the hellthat they’d gone through, had made it off the island and throughtheir six years of agony…that they’d found each other again andthat they were building a home and a family made from pure love andtrue joy. Looking at the man beside her, at the way his skin had juststarted to wrinkle near his eyes from smiling, at the way his chinand face were covered in two days worth of growth because it was theweekend and he wasn’t wasting Molly time with shaving, at the coffeestain on his t-shirt that he hadn’t bothered to do anything about,and she fell even more in love with him. She sometimes saw everymoment that they’d ever shared and every moment that they mightsomeday share, echo in his eyes when he laughed or when he kissed heror when he held their daughter, and she struggled to contain thefullness that it made her feel.

She looked at Molly, at her perfectlittle face, always smiling and laughing. Her big blue eyes were theexact same shade as  her Daddy’s, but her hair was platinum blondelike Kara’s, and Jake liked to call them his angels with blondehalos. “Dadda, yama, mama,” she said over and over again,squishing his cheeks between each word. Kara giggled to herselfremembering when she heard Molly’s first word a few months ago. She’dbecome a babbling brook since then, but that first word will alwaysbe one of Kara’s favorite moments…and Jake’s. He found ithilarious.

“YAMA!” She had yelled, loud andclear and with intent, and Kara of course assumed that she wasshouting Mama, as she was standing right in front of her, feeding herthe sweet potatoes that she was mostly wearing. She jumped andgrabbed her phone to call Jake, checking the time to confirm that hewas taking his lunch break. He picked up on the first ring, like healways did when he saw her name flash across the screen. 

“Hey Princess, how are my girls?”he asked, chewing the sandwich Kara had made for him that morning- aturkey sandwich with mayo, onions and spinach. It was his favoritething that she made for him, because it was the first thing she evermade for him. Having had no past, she had no past experience withcooking, and in those first few weeks of adjusting to human domesticlife, assembling a sandwich was about the extent of her cookingprowess. But Jake loved her sandwiches, because they reminded him ofgetting her back, of feeling her in his arms after missing her for solong.

“Well,” she answered through hersmile, “Take a listen,” she held the phone up to Molly. “Moll,tell Daddy what you just said, ‘lil llama!” She could hear Jakeeven though the phone was away from her ear. She’s talkin’? Mike!I gotta go! Yeah, now! Molly’s talkin’! Shepulled the phone back to her ear. “You’re coming home? ”

“Youbet your ass, princess, I’m not lettin’ you have this one all toyourself!”

Tenminutes later he was coming in through the screen door, letting itbang shut behind him. “Where are my girls? I wanna hear what my‘lil llama has to say to her Daddy.” He was absolutely beaming ashe joined them in the kitchen where Kara was wiping the orangeremains of Molly’s lunch from her arms and cheeks.

“We’regreat, listen, Molly has something to tell you!”

“Whatchagot, Miss Llama?” he asked, stooping down to her level in thehighchair and giving her a noisy kiss on the cheek.

“YAMA!”she shouted again, clapping her hands.

“Shesaid Mama! Jake, she’s saying Mama!” Kara was practically bouncingup and down on her toes, clapping along with their daughter.

“Yama,Yaaaamaaaaa YAMA!” Molly excitedly chanted in a sing song voice,causing Jake to double over with laughter. He ruffled Molly’s soft,fluffy hair before standing and scooping Kara up in his arms.

“What’sso funny, there, Daddy? You jealous that our little girl said Mamafirst?” She was smiling out of her mind.

“Darlin’,you know how much I love you, right?” he tucked a piece of her hairbehind her ear as she nodded. “Well, princess, I hate to break itto you, but…” he let go of Kara and grabbed the stuffed llamafrom the counter behind her and gave it to Molly, who started kickingher legs and smiling like crazy. “She’s sayin’ llama, darlin’, notmama.”

It wasstories like this was made her fill with warmth and happiness andlove for their family. Just then, Rebecca’s car pulled up andpractically before it was in park the back door flew open and Lucasand Laura came flying up the porch steps. “Uncle Jake!!!!” Lucasshrieked, launching himself onto the swing between Jake and Kara. “HiAunt Kara!” he said, grinning at her with his tooth fairy ravagedmouth.

“Hey,Luc,” Kara said as he nestled against her side and said hi to hisbaby cousins. Laura hugged Kara’s other side before planting a kissto Jake’s cheek and letting Molly wrap her fingers around her hand.

Rebeccacame trudging up the steps struggling beneath three bags, promptingJake to say, “Alright, monsters,” his affectionate nickname forhis niece and nephew- in reality they had saved him from monsters,often getting the only good sleep he could when they slept overduring the years that he and Kara were separated by space and time.Lucas and Laura moved aside so Jake could hand Molly to Kara, whostood and situated Molly against her hip. Jake went to help hissister with the bags. “Dang, Becs, are they staying the weekend, oryou leavin’ 'em here for good?” he joked.

“Funny,Jake.” Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Just wait. Wait ‘til you seehow much stuff such little people end up needing for just a weekend.”She kissed her brother on the cheek before turning to Kara.

“HeyKar,” she said with a smile before giving her a kiss as well. “Howya feelin’ mama? And how’s this 'lil llama? Hi Molls!”

Mollyreached for her aunt and Kara handed her over so Rebecca could lavishher with kisses and raspberries, with Molly giggling and saying“AnnBeccs”- Aunt Becs. “Hi Becs, I’m doin’ alright, feelin’pretty good, thanks.”

“Wellya look great, girl. You’re really kickin’ butt at this mom thing.”Rebecca’s compliments on her parenting meant the world to Kara.Rebecca and Maggie were her role models when it came to the type ofmother that she wanted to be for their children. They chatted for alittle while longer on the porch while Jake took Laura and Lucas intothe backyard to catch lizards and bugs, their favorite thing to dowith their uncle, claiming that he was the best in the world atcatching critters. Eventually Rebecca had to go; she was heading outof town for a friend’s wedding and had a flight to catch. She calledto her children and they came running to give her a good bye kiss,Lucas holding a small green lizard in his open palm.

Karaset Molly into her bouncer and Laura sat down right next to her babycousin, assuring Kara that she’d keep an eye on her. Lucas flopped onthe couch and started looking through the many photo albums that Karahad on the side table- she hadn’t had pictures from her childhood,but Maggie had supplied her with quite a few pictures of baby Jake,and Kara had compiled them into several albums, along with as manypictures from their life together as they had. There was even a photothat Diego had given her from their wedding day in Elyys'tel,and one that he’d taken soon after they’d landed on La Huerta, withKara giving Jake a look that said, “You’re not really gonna justnap all day, are you?” Diego had held onto those photos until Karawas back, knowing that they would have crushed Jake if he’d giventhem to him before.

Laurawas flipping through the colorful pages of Kara’s first book- achildren’s tale about adventures in other dimensions, showing thepictures to a wide eyed Molly. Kara joined Jake in the kitchen wherehe’d made himself busy starting dinner. He always made his niece andnephew their favorite meal, which was also Kara’s favorite meal,though she’d have to abstain from it tonight. “Gumbo smells amazingthere, chef,” she said, wrapping one arm around his apron cladwaist before planting a kiss to his cheek.

“Thanks,darlin’,” he said, “Don’t worry, I’m makin’ you one that’s not asspicy, with chicken since ya can’t have the shrimp. And,” hecrossed to the stove to uncover a small pot with some boiledpotatoes. “I made some plain potatoes for miss llama, so we canfinally put to rest whether she prefers my white taters or your sweetones.”

“You’remy sweet one,” she said, laughing at her own corny joke. But hewas. She knew he was making gumbo and had resigned herself to makingscrambled eggs or something mild since she couldn’t eat shellfish orstomach spicy food at the moment- with Molly she couldn’t get enoughhot sauce, but the twin wolf cubs didn’t seem to like it hot. But thefact that he made her what he knew was her favorite thing that hecooked made her heart grow even more. He’d never stop surprising herwith his little acts of love.

Whenit was time for dinner, Laura helped Kara set the table and Lucashelped Jake ladle gumbo into bowls, and they all sat down to enjoytheir meal and see once and for all whose cooking Molly preferred-with regards to potatoes, anyway. “Alright, miss llama, Daddy madethis just for you,” he eagerly set the potatoes down in front ofher, trying to convey how exciting potatoes were. Molly looked atthem, then looked at Jake and shook her head.

“Nopo-tatoes…” she said, her little hands coming up questioningly.

“Yeah,'lil girl, those are potatoes.” He promised her, scooping some ontoher spoon. Lucas and Laura were watching, giggling as Molly clampedher lips shut and shook her head again. “Whatcha doin’, missMolly?”

“WantMama do it,” she answered, pointing to Kara.

“Youwant mama’s potatoes, baby girl?” Kara asked, beaming.

Mollynodded an enthusiastic yes. “Yesh, yesh, mama po-tatoes better,Daddy.”

Jakemimed being struck with an arrow to the heart and fell into hischair, causing Lucas and Laura to laugh uncontrollably, Molly joiningin taking her cousins’ cue. Kara was having one of those moments asshe walked to the fridge to get Molly her sweet potatoes. Thechildren’s light giggles mixing with her husband’s deep rumblinglaughter flooded her mind with glimpses of the future: of Jake withtwo kids climbing on him and another chasing him around the house, adog barking around them: of walking through the woods with him, theirkids a few yards ahead, their hands twined and love in their eyes forone another : of growing old and letting their children fill theirhome with grandchildren, of spoiling them rotten. She could seeMolly’s first day of school and the tears Jake would cry, she sawbroken arms from climbing things they shouldn’t be climbing, she sawChristmases and Birthdays and Wednesdays.

Takingthe potatoes back to Molly, she sat back down next to her husband.“Guess we know whose cookin’ she prefers, huh, Daddy.”

Jakegrinned, a glint in his eye as he swallowed a big mouthful of hisdinner. “Yeah, guess so, Mama Llama,” he pushed his chair outfrom the table before bending to have a chat with  her belly. “Butyou lil wolves better be on your Daddy’s side, 'cause I’m alreadyoutnumbered here.” He sat back up and winked at her and the rest ofthe night passed quietly and uneventfully and in just the sort offashion that Kara could fill a whole room full of photo albums with.

#jake x mc #jake x kara #mckenzie fluff #molly llama #molly mckenzie #laura and lucas #cousin sleepover #endless summer #choices fanfiction #wolf pack

[modernlcve]

👫 imani sawyer and keely

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship.

i.   imani’s parents adore sawyer and keely.   they live in the city as well,   and like to butt their nose into their daughter’s business every now and again,   and they like to think they’ve gotten in pretty good with her roommates.   her mom makes a point every conversation they have to bring up one of them and how much she loves them.

ii.   imani has a hamster that she lets roll around sometimes and you know what?   she thinks that makes him beautiful and free.   perhaps he attacks magazines and clothes,   the very life force of his mother’s  ( and two honorary mothers’ )  careers.

iii.   yeah maybe there was a moment when she was w/ quentin and sawyer was w/ mike when she tried to set up keely and gibbs.   they could have been a perfect sextet,   boyz in the loft and women of a bold type.   she realizes now that the world just isn’t ready for that,   and no one could physically handle the energy of keely and gibbs as the power couple of nyc.

iv.   technically sure there’s 3 beds in their apartment but i like 2 think they make lil sleepovers a lot . all hanging out in someones bed or on the couch sometimes its scary 2 be out in the world n u need a little reminder that u are a woman of the bold type and a good pump up sesh where we all talk each other up til we fall asleep does the trick ,

#affiinities #( imani coleman. ) #( keely tully & imani coleman. ) #( sawyer rourke & imani coleman. )

[thankguard]

RECAP: OUR TOP 50 AUSTRALIAN HIP-HOP/R&B TRACKS OF 2016

2016 was the year that this scene was finally accepted by mainstream media outlets, played regularly on Triple J and given the opportunity to throw mad rap events at some of the countries’ best live music venues. The number of local rap: artists, releases, managers, parties, radio shows, even blogs exploded too. MANU CROOKS was put on BEATS1 rotation & posted on The FADER. SAMPA THE GREAT racked up over half a million streams on “BLUE BOSS”. BARO blurred cultural/sonic boundaries. TKAY MAIDZA dropped a huge album + landed that KILLER MIKE collab. MIDAS.GOLD, CULT SHOTTA, BIG SKEEZ, I AM D, NICO GHOST & SAVOUR THE RATIONS all dominated live-stages across the country. The GREMLNS, PLAYBACK 808, 1 HUNNID RECORDS & TREXON WAVE showed us the future. These squads are all barely out of high-school, have a strong African heritage and are blowing up against the odds. Almost all of the above was soundtracked by producers: DOPAMINE, MIRACLE, JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS, MITCH GRUANKE & HARVEY who don’t get enough credit. JUNOR launched his AUD$ radio show on SYN which is legit. The PROPHECY BOYZ launched SAUCE - a new brand that will probs do huge things in 2K17. RARE FLOW TV, provided an essential piece-to-the-puzzle, bringing this all to life in quality music videos. Australian rap music is at an all time high. But tbh, it’s going to take another miracle to push it any further. Now that there’s money to be made here, cashed-up copy-cat rappers/labels/magazines/venues with no imagination will find a way to suck the life out of your music for a quick profit. Historically, this has happened many times over, preventing Australians from truly impacting music culture on a global scale. WTF is the diff between us and: Canada, England or America? Terrible artists will succeed if you let them. Donald Trump was elected president. We’re always a stones-throw away from making the next generation of AUS rap fans (and the rest of the world) cringe at us. Question everyone. Even THANK GUARD. Oh, btw. This blog still doesn’t make money. Here’s 50 songs that inspired us to keep hustling in 2016 in between dem long-ass shifts. 50. “VIEWS UP” - NYUON (MELB)

NYUON - an essential character in the MELB rap scene - stretches out the parameters of his sound a little more with each release. “VIEWS UP” saw him lean back towards centre after the experimentally hazy, lilting vibe of his ’15 BYMYSELF tape. With the help of producer ROOKIEPRO he pooled that self-effacing, conscious rap-swagger into his most polished track do-date. 49. “SORROWS” - BLESSED (SYD)

Taking cues from CUDI, UK alternative-pop and their own minds, BLESSED managed to instantly stand out from the rest of the trap-heavy SYD scene last year. Their output in ‘16 was super consistent, and “SORROWS” (our fav) has already amassed over 127K plays on Soundcloud. Early days, but their potential for global appeal is already proven. 48. “I.D.C.A” - 18K (BRIS)

“I.D.C.A” gives you a real wow moment the second those bars come in. 18K’s on that: modern-day BONE,THUGZ & HARMONY/vaguely MIGOS ATL, super-quick flow. His beats are perfect too. Hard hitting, modern trap sounds AND a hint of like CLAMS CASINO cloud-rap as well. 47. “30 DAYS” - DENNIS (MELB)

Mysterious producer/singer DENNIS dropped this one to no reception whatsoever. The mastering isn’t professional, but the song itself and the man’s vocals are world class. You gotta pump the volume ride it to the peak for full-effect fam. Like some new BON IVER shit without the cringe, pretty sure this came out first too. 46. “PRESSURE (ft. JACE XL)” - BILLY DAVIS (MELB)

BILLY DAVIS & JACE XL (RYTHYM SECTION) are both heavily associated with THE OPERATIVES (who monopolised vibes in MELB the last decade). JACE shows off his life-changing soul crooning over some classic BILLY DAVIS instrumentation. This would be a lot higher if it were more relevant to our needs. 45. “NO MORE” - DEEVILLA (SYD)

With this track alone, SYDNEY-based DEEVILLA proved he can write the type of song this scene needs. His flow, lyrics and overall mood on “NO MORE” summed up 2016 perfectly in terms of music & vibe. FLIP TRILL’s production on this one did all the above and more. 44. “RUN UP (ft. FLYBOII & L.U.I)” - LIL SPACELY (SYD)

Got the vibe that BLACK DANNA head honcho SPACELY had a tough 2016. But, being an essential SYDNEY rap-character that he is, the dude still managed to drop some of the livest AUS rap tracks of 2016. On “RUN UP”, he took the chunky, horn-filled instrumental from FAT JOE and REMY MA’s “ALL THE WAY UP”, puffed out his chest, and along with a couple talented homies delivered a growling, arrogant battle track that signalled his readiness to take his music national. He’s already dropped several tracks in ’17. Stay woke. 43. “FIRE” - SQUIDGENINI (MELB)

SQUIDGENINI a.k.a Bella, is one of Melbourne’s better-kept secrets right now. She’s been honing her craft for some time: playing in bands, producing solo tracks and supporting huge artists. “FIRE”, one of her only releases in 2016, instantly put her on our radar. This highly ambitious track features no-bullshit lyrisicm, eccentric production and some straight up vocal-fire. 42. “NAH BRUH, THIS IS WAGE GANG!” - VEENO (SYD)

When BABY VEENO dropped this insane freestyle in October it was criminally over-looked by many (including us). Choosing YOUNG THUG’S timeless “SEE YOU” beat from that G.O.A.T RICH GANG tape proved to us that the man has taste. The ensuing bars instilled visions of VEENO becoming SYDNEY’s trap-SKEPTA in ’17. 41. “CLAP BACK” - SAVOUR THE RATIONS (SYD)

SAVOUR THE RATIONS were one of the most influential, pro-active and entertaining AUSTRALIAN rap crews of 2016 (especially towards the end). KWAME, DOMBA, JAYJAY ASSASSIN, GYBRYLLAH SHYNE & RAJ MAHAL made their biggest moves via videos/live performances. “CLAP BACK” which was dropped on Jan 2nd, 2016 showed the boys doing their ting for their own entertainment. This year they’ll be doing it for thousands no doubt. 40. “BEST FRIEND (YOUNG THUG REMIX)” - BIG SKEEZ (SYD)

This was probably the local track we played most last year. BIG SKEEZ really stood out in ‘16 for his song-writing hustle & originality (highlighted on his S.A.T.T mixtape). Remixing such a familiar, iconic song allowed SKEEZ to let loose in the booth more than ever before, resulting in 3:14 of explosive, feverish trap-fury filled with icy-cold local references/flips. 39. “ALIVE REMIX (ft. BARO & CAZEAUX O.S.L.O)” - ESESE (MELB)

Couldn’t think of a more suitable 2016 MELBOURNE summer-rap anthem than this BARO remix if I tried. It feature local pillars: CAEZEUX O.S.L.O, SKOMES and the ESESE crew - and oozes those heavenly FITZROY day-party vibes. Hearing HENOQ and O.S.L.O both spit new-gen AUS boom-bap masterpieces in rapid succession would’ve brought a tear to the eye of every true BURN-CITY rap-fan this year. 38. “NO MORALS (ft. $KINNY DOM)” - BLACK NAPOLEON (WA)

On “NO MORALS”, BLACK NAPOLEON brought equal parts: slow, deliberate and estatic D double E style booth raps - the kind you’d hear on some UK Pirate radio set to the table. LUCHII, another PERTH-based genius jumped into the mix sounding more like a 6K Gucci, nailing the perfect guest verse. The CAMERON PARK directed-visuals for this one featured no guns, knives or punches thrown, but it still stands as one of the most violent local vids of ’16. #HOMEBAKED. 37. “FUCK THE JUDGE (ft. REMI)” - BARO (MELB)

When BARO dropped the second taste of his soon-TBR JPYNTK tape about 6 months ago, the world was torn in half by the racial violence sweeping the US. It was literally with you everywhere you went, no matter ur skin colour. “FUCK THE JUDGE”, which was released at the very hight of this chaos featured inspired verses from REMI + BARO and was accompanied by the statement: “They're killing my people. They're killing PEOPLE.” The song itself also made another (less important statement) about BARO’s unflinching confidence as a dude/rapper. It was his first absolute crystal clear “fuck u” to industry/fan expectations - a sign that he might be giving the typical AUS rap-sound a much needed kick up-the-butt in 2017. 36. “POTENTIAL (I SEE)” - LORD LEVI (MELB)

When it comes to MELB underground anthems in 2016, LORD LEVI’s “POTENTIAL (I SEE)” is practically unrivalled. The hook, flow and production on this one truly encapsulates the rise of the BURN-CITY outer-suburb high-school trap scene in 2016. LEVI and the GREMLN squad built a dedicated following last year on the back of songs like this. Trek thru any BURN-CITY suburb and “I SEE POTENTIAL” follows u through the streets. 35. “FLEX MODE” - ERIK SANDERS (BRIS)

Brisbane’s ERIK SANDERS blew up out of nowhere last year on the back of several highly-polished, US-influence nu-trap singles. “FLEX MODE” bursts out of the gate with a series of auto-tune inflected bars that twist-and-turn, merging multitudes of impressive melodies in quick succession. This one gets real wild at the end too. 34. “RIDE (ft. REZT)” - LUCHII (WA)

LUCHII has always struck us as an interesting character, but we still slept on the man in ’16. When he dropped “RIDE” like a month ago, we swore to stay woke on the PERTH creative forevermore. This one rides an island trap wave that reminded us of CHILDISH GAMBINO’s “CALIFORNIA” and MAC MILLERS new stuff, but it also hits on something completely new. The vocals reference ATL rhythms/tones AND something else, which MUST have been born in a cloud of green smoke on one of those pristine PERTH beaches. 33. “PULL UP (ft. CIDI, LORD BRAVO, DUT BOL & RANDOLPH)” - BONKI CHOL (ADEL)

In 2016, the TREXON WAVE squad was our guilty pleasure. We legit found ourselves rinsing their proficiently rugged trap cuts more than CHANCE or FRANK. “PULL UP” is the song that started the whole affair. I remember being high af on a Tuesday at like 2PM about 8 months ago just blasting this enchanting MIGOS-style cut on my speakers for an hour straight. Jut listen to BONKI CHOI and homies: CIDI, LORD BRAVO, DUT BOL, RANDOLPH bring the sauce one time. They all flaunt separate styles, personalities and lyrical tendencies on this one, but their skills/delivery are at 100 throughout. 32. “HOW U FEEL” - NICO GHOST (MELB)

Close your eyes and “HOW U FEEL” will take you to a dark, nondescript club setting. Smoke settles in over those eerie trap bells - the calm before the storm. That amazing harpsichord removes any sense of time/location. Your mind is finally empty. Nico spits that FB generation mantra: “I couldn’t really give a fuck how you feel”, lulling you into a false sense of security before ruining your life with intensity. NICO’s 2016 was pretty-much dominated by his wild live-show. But in between sets he found the time to gift us with this the premiere for this one. Was a huge step forward for us. The man’s legit. 31. “MONSTER TRUCK” - ALLDAY (MELB)

ALLDAY is huge - has been for years now. In 2016, he went through a bit of a sonic evolution and we fucked with it heavy. “MONSTER TRUCK” is a song that pushed Australian rap to places in the world it rarely reaches. This one features earnest lyrics, euphoric melodies and a skin-tight flow - years of work/experience all coming together. ALLDAY made some serious global waves last year as unique voice in the world of post-OVO rap music. 30. “LIONA” - NASTY MARS (MELB)

On “LIONA”, future-star NASTY MARS took warm, wavy, lo-fi production ripped straight from a SOULECTION cassette and crafted his own rap/soul-experiment around the peaks and flows of the beat. Although, hardly representative of this guy’s unreleased material, live show and overall position in the AUSTRALIAN rap/soul scene - “LIONA” still managed to take on a life of it’s own… just suss the comments. 29. “BLOOD THICKER THAN WATER” - LUTHER (BRIS)

One of BRISBANE’s most charismatic up-and-comers, LUTHER teamed up with AUS production royalty JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS early last year for a YOUNG THUG/LIL WAYNE style cut that blew us away. The production bangs. LUTHER’s wild, warbling trap-jitterings are fierce, crunchy and at times hilarious. Everything you want in a track like this. The dude is associated with the WORLDWIDE BOYS who will blow up this year. 28. “THIRSTY” - ANFA ROSE (SYD)

“THIRSTY” came last year amidst a never-ending avalanche of consistently jaw-dropping ANFA ROSE & DOPAMINE joint-efforts. Everything on this one from the samples, to ROSE’s perfectly structured verses - to those 808 snares cutting thru your entire being - to the lyrics enforced our theory that these dudes aren’t human. They are computer programs or clones or holograms or something. 27. “MARIA MARIA” - GEEK, CHARLES X & SELASIE WUSSAH (SYD)

This one - easily top 3 most iconic “THANK GUARD” anthems in our entire history. Seeing it live at one of our BONEY parties inspired some of the most emotional dabs ever dabbed. When it dropped back in Jan, it brought out some of our best writing ever too… so I’m just gonna quote myself here.

“On the most polished THANK GUARD Premiere to-date, a dynamic trio of epileptic acid-rappers exchange contrasting melodic flows - in a bid to win a Spanish bae’s heart.” If you don’t know GEEK, CHARLES X (of CULT SHOTTA) or SELASIE WUSSAH by now we don’t trust u. 26. “1 3 1 6” - E L K (ADL)

Adelaide teen E L K bursted onto the scene with last year with “TUTEN KARMEN”, which would have easily made the top 10 if he didn’t remove it from SC. “1 3 1 6”, a different (but equally impressive) joint also blew us away. This one brings guys like MF DOOM & JAY ELECTRONICA to mind instantly, but channeled thru the purity of a fresh, young mind with the voice of a rap-god. In 2016 alone, E L K and his PLAYBACK 808 crew went from bedroom rappers, to the creators of a legit AUS rap movement that looks poised to climb mountains in 2017. 25. “FEELING GOOD FEELING GREAT” - TOYOTOMI HIDEYOSHI (WA)

2 months ago, FourAM head-honcho TOYOTOMI HIDEYOSHI teamed up with producer SNOWEE for a sun-drenched 6K anthem. Some rare RAE SCHREMMURD vibes (if they were slightly more sober). Truly peaks at the end. TOYOTOMI is another young dude whose influence on the culture went beyond rapping last year. From short films, events to supporting those around him - this kid did it all in 2016. 24. “DOPER THAN DOPE (MACHINEDRUM REMIX)” - SK SIMEON (MELB)

One of AUSTRALIA’s best rhythmic-vocalists had a huge 2016. SK SIMEON has been a worldwide reggae force for a minute now. Born in Uganda, recorded his first song at a studio in Dandenong… But last year “DOPE THAN DOPE” - one of his best tracks to-date was remixed by MACHINEDRUM. This version (which sounds good anywhere) took SK’s insane rapid-fire singing and infectious tongue-in-cheek delivery to dance-floors around the world. 23. “NULIFE” - MAIA (BRIS)

BRISBANE neo-neo-soul singer/producer MAÏA returned to form in 2016 with her nostalgic, intimate “LOFI” Mixtape. “NULIFE” - a definite standout will swallow you up whole in a blanket of warm, jazzy melodies and pulsating rimshots. Coming very early in the year, this track really pre-empted a lot of trends that are dominating American music culture as we speak. We predict huge things for MAIA in 2017. 22. “$AUCE” - GREMLNS (MELB)

2016 was the year of the GREMLN in the suburbs of MELB. No other underground AUS rap squad made more of an impact than these guys in the last 12 months. This “SAUCE” video came about after months of anticipation and was defs worth the wait. It showed the GREMSQUAD more polished-than-ever, a bunch of real young talents standing at the crossroads between street-fame and industry acceptance. The video itself is like a cross between an old-school Tarantino movie and a London GRIME vid, but set in some unmistakably murky Burn-city graffiti spots. 21. “BERETTA” - MATT BLACK (SYD)

SYDNEY-based vocalist MATT BLACK exploded out of the blocks last year with a series of MIRACLE/DOPAMINE produced R&B/SOUL singles - the type big labels dream about every night. “BERETTA” is the whole package. A high-concept, slow-burning, futuristic love-song which cleverly compares a lover to a pistol. Two things that (depending on the circumstances) can save you or destroy you, make u feel like a man or a mouse. 20. “EVERYDAY” - DREAM$TEAM (ADEL)

So much love for duo’s with vastly different voices. When you listen to a DREAM$TEAM you got no time for boredom. You’ve got CHARLTON on the first verse who always goes in with this SHAKE070-style flow and A-grade emotionally-charged lyricism, then the other G comes in riding world-class auto-tune vibes that sit somewhere between YACHTY & TRAVI$ SCOTT. The production, which features ZAYTOVEN-style piano, is the opposite of corny… bounces hard & leaves plenty of room for vocals. These guys are insanely talented for their age-bracket. Anythings possible for them in 2017 19. “TENNIES” - TKAY MAIDZA (ADEL)

TKAY MAIDZA, easily one of the most successful artists on this list had a huge 2016. She was spun on SKRILLEX’s OWSLA radio show, played a tonne of festivals in AUS & FRANCE, but most importantly dropped a huge studio album, TKAY, which featured guest verse from KILLER MIKE (Run The Jewels). “TENNIES” was our favourite track from the album, because it combined her signature worldly sugar-rap with some hella uplifting footwork vibes. How often is boundary-pushing music this much fun? 18. “LAPUTA (TAYLOR MCFERRIN REMIX ft. ANDERSON PAAK)” - HIATUS KAIYOTE (MELB)

The one and only MELB-based GRAMMY-nominated future-soul quartet that we probs should have posted by now had to have a presence on this list, at least to show you all what’s possible. Their second album “CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON” is a must listen, but was released waybach in 2015. Last year, TAYLOR MCFERRIN recruited ANDERSON PAAK to rework standout single “LAPUTA” for a remix EP. The results speak for themselves. 17. “PEACEWALKER” - GALLU$, RAIDER KING (BRIS)

GALLU$ was real cult-force down in BRISBANE last year. His influence on the scene transcended his recordings - a huge statement considering the quality of songs like “PEACEWALKER”. This one features some heavy statements screamed with a natural Aussie accent over “GLASSSS” by PYRMDPLAZA. 

“THIS INDUSTRY’S FAKE & THE PEOPLE TALK BULLSHIT // THAT SOUNDS PRETTY OBVIOUS // SO WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING? // QUESTIONING MY OWN MUSIC LIKE // EVERY LINE THAT I WRITE // CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL STUPID.” - nuff said. 16. “ALL OF MI LIFE (MACHINEDRUM REMIX)” - YAW FASO (MELB)

2016 was a year where artists like POPCAAN & J HUS were getting love on THE FADER + DRAKE/BIEBER/SKRILLEX were jacking sounds from the Caribbean and breaking billboard records. When our own YAW FASO shared this MACHINEDRUM remix of his sun-drenched single “ALL OF MI LIFE” the timing was perfect, but as the hook declares, he wasn’t riding any trends. Reggae is one of the few genres that makes you smile, dance and forget about all your issues. This song, bursting with: FASO’s highly motivational reggae mantras, sugary buildups and super-refreshing production does all the above. 15. “IDK” - GILL BATES (BRIS)

With his LESS STRESS, MORE SUCCESS EP, GILL BATES showed a whole new side of himself to the world in 2016. Standout cut “IDK” took the catchier side of AUS rap into unknown territory: substance & self-awareness. Above all tho, it’s just a great song. That larger-than-life JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS production grabs you from 0:01… GILL’s opening line “BEEN DROWNING MY SORROWS // BOTTLE AFTER BOTTLE” takes you into his psyche… Then GILL & JAMES drag you deeper and deeper into darkness before flipping things with a bittersweet xylophone-driven hook. A world-class highlight from one of the best local releases in 2016. 14. “NEVER BEEN” - TYRØNE (SYD)

In the last 12 months, few local artists worked harder than TYRØNE. The SYDNEY rapper/producer legit dropped a full EP Trilogy, brimming with GOAT Australian rap lyricism. Song, after song the guy managed to craft a unique aesthetic for himself and his music – darkness that isn’t fake. “NEVER BEEN”, a real standout encapsulates this dedication to his craft more than any other. That skin-tight baritone flow just doesn’t stop on this one. “I SAY LIFE IS EVERYTHING YOU MAKE IT // ONE THING DAMN RIGHT I AIN’T NEVER BEEN FAKE BITCH” 13. “HIT EM” - I AM D (BRIS)

BRISBANE one-man-movement I AM D flew way under our radar until we heard this one. “HIT EM” showcased D’s near iconic nu-AUSSIE rap tone, through a stream of SKEPTA-like vocal punches that explained every move he would make in the local scene. Little did we know at the time, but he actually went on to achieve everything he rapped on this track. In a matter of months after its release: he got signed to a major label, dropped a hugely successful EP, landed a national tour and stamped his influence on the local culture. 12. “NO FATIGUE (ft. GEEK & SELASIE WUSSAH)” - CULT SHØTTA (SYD)

The video for “NO FATIGUE” really set the tone for CULT SHØTTA season in 2016. They were always a truly unique presence in the Australian rap game, but on this track, they toned things down, unleashing line-after-line of vibrant acid-raps over a relatively sparse bass-driven trap beat. As per usual, CHARLES X, GEEK & SELASIE WUSSAH each brought their A-game, showing off vastly different styles/personas, each challenging different “AUSTRALIAN RAP” taboos in the process. It also marked the beginning of director RUFFY’s much-needed string of ambitious video-work that helped elevate many-a local rapper last year. 11. “FOR GOOD (ft. SAMPA THE GREAT)” - REMI (MELB)

Couldn’t think of a better ’16 feel-good Aus-rap summer anthem than REMI and SAMPA’s “FOR GOOD” if I tried. When your air-con breaks on a 35 degree day, this song could actually save ur life. The production, hook and overall vibe really feels like a classic Triple J anthem, the type that soundtracked our lives. But, obviously everything has been re-worked for the next-generation, creating a crisper, more sonically diverse hit than we’re used to. 10. “EXISTENTIALITY” - OJIKAE (MELB)

“EXISTENTIALITY” is a lovesick vision that’s refreshingly different from the over-saturated BILLBOARD TOP 100-style R&B that the likes of TORY LANEZ and BRYSON TILLER put out. It was also the very first track released by 17 y.o VCE student Matt Cicero, which blew us away immediately last JULY. The guy wrote something original, produced the track himself and whipped out a spine-tingling vocal performance that singlehandedly dragged his ass all the way to the top 10 of this list. 9. “ASSUMPTIONS” - MANU CROOKS (SYD)

“ASSUMPTIONS” was premiered on ZANE LOWE’s BEATS1RADIO show… got our mag a global shoutout AND tore stages apart across the country in 2016. We heard more sides of Sydney game-changer MANU CROOKS than ever before on this one. With help from production masterminds DOPAMINE & MIRACLE, CROOKS departed from them brooding Toronto vibes to show Australia & the world that he can can TURN UP like the best of them. 8. “CALL ME” - DEVARN (MELB)

This song is what THANK GUARD is all about. Sonically, it’s right up our alley… but more importantly it came from a creative young dude who: thinks for himself and punches well-above his weight considering the resources/money some people on this list have at their disposal. It also tells a story we have witnessed for years now…

“ALL OF MY N*GGAS THEY WORK IN THE SUN // WAITING FOR LABELS TO HIT UP THEY PHONE // I WANT SOME MONEY TO GET ME A PHONE” Few rappers can get you on their side like Melbourne’s DEVARN. His vocals are earnest, intimate - when he raps, it feels like he’s letting you into his world. He doesn’t slur his words, or smother them in auto-tune either - you can hear every word the man is saying. Also, huge props for referencing some of our fav underground anthems >> SAUCE (GREMLNS) >> MOOSHAMAD // I HAD A DREAM WE GON’ MAKE IT. Damn. 7. “000000” - MIDAS.GOLD (BRIS)

Last year, Brisbane’s MIDAS.GOLD elevated himself to the Mount Rushmore of this new-wave. Of all the wild trap releases & intimate soul-searching cuts on his huge FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH EP, “000000” had the biggest impact on the scene. It dropped all the way back in JANUARY when local rappers were all bumping FUTURE & YOUNG THUG 24/7, but still didn’t truly believe that an Aussie could incorporate these sounds into their music so convincingly. MIDAS truly made this quality JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS/MO LIASON beat his bitch from 0:01, before abruptly taking the track down a notch in its last third, flipping the beat and creating a Schoolboy Q-esque bleary-eyed, kushed-out vibe that eased the track out from its original energy. 6. “WHIP IT” - BIG SKEEZ

We’ve been huge supporters of BIG SKEEZ for a long time. Every track he dropped in 2016 wreaked of originality in both vision and character. SKEEZ, a dude climbing his way up a ladder of: elegant email signatures, cut-throat managers and concrete industry rules, often collaborated with us thru a simple fb message - or just bumping into him in the city. This made us question the likelihood of his success to some extent, but when this video for “WHIP IT” dropped, it turned all our dreams into a reality. The WAVY BADMON, along with his SYDNEY crew absolutely owned the big screen, turning up like a pro to one of the standout tracks from his under-rated debut mixtape. Seeing this whole evolution transpire before our very eyes gave this CERNE STUDIOS production a real sentimental value for the whole THANK GUARD team. 5. “ABSURD” - ANFA ROSE (SYD)

ANFA ROSE and DOPAMINE’S magnum opus will make you cry like a Canadian watching Drake sing the national anthem. The silky smooth, “Absurd” is a beautifully executed blend of 808s, pianos and harmonies. When it comes to polish, no local track released in 2016 comes close to this one. DOPAMINE stripped back that instrumental, focusing on an ethereal and ominous beat with a chordal pattern that slides effortlessly from note to note. ROSE’s delicate melodies fuse perfectly with the instrumental and his lyrics, which are reminiscent of DRAKE’s odes to RIHANNA, or THE WEEKND’s odes to drugs. 4. “RUN IT (ft. LEVI, PHANTOM & KMALITH)” - MIKE WANG (MELB)

When low-key GREMLN MICHAEL WANG dropped this fire squad track all borders between Australia & America went up in flames. The MELBOURNE underground literally outshone the AUSTRALIAN i-Tunes charts. Nothing would make sense ever again. In terms of flow, lyricism and local impact… this was without a doubt one of the best Australian rap tracks released in 2016. WANG, LEVI, PHANTOM & KMALITH came out, guns blazing with their own jaw-dropping take on that MIGOS-style flow (and this was all before “BAD & BOUJEE” blew up). That little OVO-style hook/breakdown “I GOT BANDS…” really added a whole other dimension to the song too. Don’t even get me started on the message behind these lyrics and their relevancy to our scene, the city of MELBOURNE and the racial/cultural tensions often overlooked by most Australians. 3. “BLOWIN’ UP (ft. MIRACLE)” - MANU CROOKS (SYD)

“BLOWIN UP” was MANU CROOKS flipping the switch and making a statement: his rise to success is about much more than bangerz. Being able to rap and record full-time is any local rapper’s dream and seeing the SYDNEY rapper get premiered on The FADER must have motivated thousands of Australian teenagers to keep hustling in 2016. Honestly, didn’t think someone from this new AUS rap-scene would make the pages of a mag like The FADER for at least another year. That stamp of approval means a lot. Manu’s tuned-up, magnetically charismatic vocals definitely stole the show on this one…Dude just seems to know exactly what to rap and when. But, none of this would have been possible without his equally talented bros: DOPAMINE & MIRACLE who both shined, bright as ever on this one. 
DOPAMINE always knows just the right amount of syrupy autotune to sprinkle over his mates vocals & this beat speaks for itself. MIRACLE’S production and vocals contributions always help bring a track to the next-level. All 3 of these guys will no-doubt make even more Australian-rap history in 2017. 2. “WDUBI (ft. NASTY MARS & MARCUS)” - BARO (MELB)

When the mind of a black sheep is re-configured to entertain the mindless masses, an artist has reached their final frontier. BARO (NASTY MARS & MARCUS) did this last year with “WDUBI” - the first taste from his eagerly-awaited JPYNTK tape. On first encounter, it plays as the perfect Australian new-gen rap jam. But on further inspection, everything about it: the production, vocal stylings and somber sonic undertones expose it for the beautiful alien it really is. All three verses loosely acknowledge US 2K16 rap (CHANCE, GAMBINO etc), but overall this track really does’t follow the rules set by the American market at all - which is why we love it so much. That NIC MARTIN production plays a huge roll in this also. Something about those double-timed snares/claps and the tempo made this one feel so damn refreshing. We really played the fuck out of this one last year. THANK GUARD. Oh btw “AND IF WE HAVE A SON I THINK WE’LL NAME HIM STEVEN” - line O.T.Y 1. “BLUE BOSS” - SAMPA THE GREAT (SYD)

LMAO. In 2016, a lot of local bro’s hyped their shit like crazy. Walking around like the TUPAC reincarnate, talking smack online & sharing videos on FB 10 times a day… and SAMPA THE GREAT quietly drops a song that makes them all look foolish, raising her to instant-legend status. SAMPA is emotionally mature, intellectually elegant, socially conscious. Her words can fight wars or comfort a child. She is the type of person you’d want running for president, let alone running the local rap scene. “BLUE BOSS” is like a world-class 2K16 surprise rap-hit, but also feels timeless. Unlike kindred spirits NONAME & KAMAIYAH, SAMPA keeps her production and overall-vibe as earthy as possible, creating her own unique place in the rap-world. Considering the desperate need for more female rappers in this country, the quality of SAMPA’s vocals and her all-too-rare modest demeanour, we had to give “BLUE BOSS” the #1 spot. Posted by PAULINE HANSON

#aus #features

[s-nicolemusic]

Mindful Monday--Forgive

For me personally, this topic is a tricky one. It’s something I struggle to do. (and forewarning, the first half of this post is explaining my situation. I wasn’t going to, but the more I explain it out loud, the better I’m actually feeling about this situation, so I’m going to)

 I did have a friend who was rather dear to me that, without any warning and for no reason other than her kind of being full of herself and refusing to accept that I wanted to do things that made me happy and be friends with people who made me happy, decided to stop being friends with me.

Okay. Tough luck right? If she wasn’t letting you be happy and literally told you she couldn’t understand how you were depressed, then just move on and forget about her? You’re better off without her, right?

Well, right. But there’s so much more to the story. It wasn’t a simple, ‘okay we’re not friends’ or gradual end of friendship and going separate ways. It was a whole, pardon my french, shitshow of stuff that she and this other person who had been my friend decided to do as well. Not up front bullying that is stereotypical of high school, but just little things like mocking posts made by myself and my real friends, stupid side comments that were actually rather hurtful, and just so much more. 

This entire spam of stuff, started around a year ago today, according to my journal, and it thankfully is for the most part over. They made my final year of high school hell (though thankfully I did have people who made it the best year of school, so focusing on the positive, senior year was awesome) and even the summer. Someone that for YEARS I talked about having a huge goodbye cry fest because we couldn’t bear to be apart, didn’t even acknowledge my existence. I tried, and have continued to try many times to connect with her. Sometimes, I do get a rare response, but it’s even rarer if it’s actually something nice. 

I never got a reason that made sense as to everything that happened. I did talk to my old friend once about the reasoning, and even though from my perspective, her reasons were flawed that didn’t make sense. She didn’t like that I was part of a dance/performance group centered around human kindness (I’ll make a post about that at some point because it was truly amazing) because she felt it took away from my time as her friend. Mind you, the practices were on Sundays, days we had already designated as days to spend with out families rather than each other, so we wouldn’t have hung out if I wasn’t in it. She didn’t like that I was becoming better and better friends with this fantastic gay lil shit that is now the best friend I could’ve ever asked for (gonna call him Mike for safety sake) because he “made her uncomfortable.” Now yes, Mike can be very verbally sexual, BUT when asked he stops, he isn’t touchy feely like this other gay boy who is as much sexual if not more than Mike, but evidently this other kid is okay to Natalie (the name I’m giving my ex friend for easier understanding). Besides that, I personally am very uncomfortable when it comes to sexual things, Natalie knew this, yet insisted on constantly talking about the basketball players boys butts, which she also knew made me uncomfortable, so tell me how my friend Mike was in the wrong when she did that? and as almost an icing on the cake, she couldn’t understand how I could possibly be depressed. While my parents were divorced, still constantly argued, we had financial issues, I never got flirted with like she did in high school (even though she’d turn her nose at any boy who flirted with her); she had plenty of money, her parents are the most perfect couple on the planet, their family goes on huge trips and they are paying for her to go to college. So, I suppose, maybe she is to naive to the serious problems that some of have in the world. So,

I forgive her. 

There are days, that I question as to whether I really do forgive her, but I’ve realized many things.

1) It’s good to talk about it. The rant I did above (which again sorry if you didn’t care but) really helped me realize that yes, everything she did was honestly so wrong, but she lived a sheltered life, so it makes sense that she doesn’t understand. In your own lives, talk about your problems, or write them out it you can’t bring yourself to talk without getting too emotional.

2) Get the right perspective and realize nobody’s perfect. While Natalie was the top of our class and had a good life, she’s not perfect. There are many things that after being her friend so long, I know she’s not, but I’ll let her figure that out on her own

3) Don’t forgive for them; forgive for yourself. Since my decision to forgive her, I’ve actually been less likely to try and reach out and mend that which has been broken. I still do from time to time, because as much as she has hurt me, I have said many times and will say it again– I’m here for anyone, regardless of who and what they’ve done.

Of course, all this being said, make sure you learn from whatever happened so you can steer clear of toxic relationships. What matters is that you’re happy, and if they can’t handle that, they don’t deserve you. 

~~~~~~~

HELLO LOVES I’M SO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT. But that being said, as usual, I’m here to talk or message anytime and anywhere. I’m here for you and my goal in life (aside from becoming a pretty rad band director) is to help someone in the world to smile. <3 Love to you all

#sierra blogs #sierra rants #long rant #rant #mindfulmonday #forgive #forgiveness #forgive yourself #forgive those who wronged you #it's okay #it's better this way #forgive and live #no toxic relationships #i love you #i'm here for you #I'll listen #message me #follow #anon message #nobody's perfect #talk about it #perspective #some people just don't understand #lgbt #safe zone #depression #mental health #anxiety #performance #doing something you love

[bartarb]

RECAP: OUR TOP 50 AUSTRALIAN HIP-HOP/R&B TRACKS OF 2016

2016 was the year that this scene was finally accepted by mainstream media outlets, played regularly on Triple J and given the opportunity to throw mad rap events at some of the countries’ best live music venues. The number of local rap: artists, releases, managers, parties, radio shows, even blogs exploded too. MANU CROOKS was put on BEATS1 rotation & posted on The FADER. SAMPA THE GREAT racked up over half a million streams on “BLUE BOSS”. BARO blurred cultural/sonic boundaries. TKAY MAIDZA dropped a huge album + landed that KILLER MIKE collab. MIDAS.GOLD, CULT SHOTTA, BIG SKEEZ, I AM D, NICO GHOST & SAVOUR THE RATIONS all dominated live-stages across the country. The GREMLNS, PLAYBACK 808, 1 HUNNID RECORDS & TREXON WAVE showed us the future. These squads are all barely out of high-school, have a strong African heritage and are blowing up against the odds. Almost all of the above was soundtracked by producers: DOPAMINE, MIRACLE, JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS, MITCH GRUANKE & HARVEY who don’t get enough credit. JUNOR launched his AUD$ radio show on SYN which is legit. The PROPHECY BOYZ launched SAUCE - a new brand that will probs do huge things in 2K17. RARE FLOW TV, provided an essential piece-to-the-puzzle, bringing this all to life in quality music videos. Australian rap music is at an all time high. But tbh, it’s going to take another miracle to push it any further. Now that there’s money to be made here, cashed-up copy-cat rappers/labels/magazines/venues with no imagination will find a way to suck the life out of your music for a quick profit. Historically, this has happened many times over, preventing Australians from truly impacting music culture on a global scale. WTF is the diff between us and: Canada, England or America? Terrible artists will succeed if you let them. Donald Trump was elected president. We’re always a stones-throw away from making the next generation of AUS rap fans (and the rest of the world) cringe at us. Question everyone. Even THANK GUARD. Oh, btw. This blog still doesn’t make money. Here’s 50 songs that inspired us to keep hustling in 2016 in between dem long-ass shifts. 50. “VIEWS UP” - NYUON (MELB)

NYUON - an essential character in the MELB rap scene - stretches out the parameters of his sound a little more with each release. “VIEWS UP” saw him lean back towards centre after the experimentally hazy, lilting vibe of his ’15 BYMYSELF tape. With the help of producer ROOKIEPRO he pooled that self-effacing, conscious rap-swagger into his most polished track do-date. 49. “SORROWS” - BLESSED (SYD)

Taking cues from CUDI, UK alternative-pop and their own minds, BLESSED managed to instantly stand out from the rest of the trap-heavy SYD scene last year. Their output in ‘16 was super consistent, and “SORROWS” (our fav) has already amassed over 127K plays on Soundcloud. Early days, but their potential for global appeal is already proven. 48. “I.D.C.A” - 18K (BRIS)

“I.D.C.A” gives you a real wow moment the second those bars come in. 18K’s on that: modern-day BONE,THUGZ & HARMONY/vaguely MIGOS ATL, super-quick flow. His beats are perfect too. Hard hitting, modern trap sounds AND a hint of like CLAMS CASINO cloud-rap as well. 47. “30 DAYS” - DENNIS (MELB)

Mysterious producer/singer DENNIS dropped this one to no reception whatsoever. The mastering isn’t professional, but the song itself and the man’s vocals are world class. You gotta pump the volume ride it to the peak for full-effect fam. Like some new BON IVER shit without the cringe, pretty sure this came out first too. 46. “PRESSURE (ft. JACE XL)” - BILLY DAVIS (MELB)

BILLY DAVIS & JACE XL (RYTHYM SECTION) are both heavily associated with THE OPERATIVES (who monopolised vibes in MELB the last decade). JACE shows off his life-changing soul crooning over some classic BILLY DAVIS instrumentation. This would be a lot higher if it were more relevant to our needs. 45. “NO MORE” - DEEVILLA (SYD)

With this track alone, SYDNEY-based DEEVILLA proved he can write the type of song this scene needs. His flow, lyrics and overall mood on “NO MORE” summed up 2016 perfectly in terms of music & vibe. FLIP TRILL’s production on this one did all the above and more. 44. “RUN UP (ft. FLYBOII & L.U.I)” - LIL SPACELY (SYD)

Got the vibe that BLACK DANNA head honcho SPACELY had a tough 2016. But, being an essential SYDNEY rap-character that he is, the dude still managed to drop some of the livest AUS rap tracks of 2016. On “RUN UP”, he took the chunky, horn-filled instrumental from FAT JOE and REMY MA’s “ALL THE WAY UP”, puffed out his chest, and along with a couple talented homies delivered a growling, arrogant battle track that signalled his readiness to take his music national. He’s already dropped several tracks in ’17. Stay woke. 43. “FIRE” - SQUIDGENINI (MELB)

SQUIDGENINI a.k.a Bella, is one of Melbourne’s better-kept secrets right now. She’s been honing her craft for some time: playing in bands, producing solo tracks and supporting huge artists. “FIRE”, one of her only releases in 2016, instantly put her on our radar. This highly ambitious track features no-bullshit lyrisicm, eccentric production and some straight up vocal-fire. 42. “NAH BRUH, THIS IS WAGE GANG!” - VEENO (SYD)

When BABY VEENO dropped this insane freestyle in October it was criminally over-looked by many (including us). Choosing YOUNG THUG’S timeless “SEE YOU” beat from that G.O.A.T RICH GANG tape proved to us that the man has taste. The ensuing bars instilled visions of VEENO becoming SYDNEY’s trap-SKEPTA in ’17. 41. “CLAP BACK” - SAVOUR THE RATIONS (SYD)

SAVOUR THE RATIONS were one of the most influential, pro-active and entertaining AUSTRALIAN rap crews of 2016 (especially towards the end). KWAME, DOMBA, JAYJAY ASSASSIN, GYBRYLLAH SHYNE & RAJ MAHAL made their biggest moves via videos/live performances. “CLAP BACK” which was dropped on Jan 2nd, 2016 showed the boys doing their ting for their own entertainment. This year they’ll be doing it for thousands no doubt. 40. “BEST FRIEND (YOUNG THUG REMIX)” - BIG SKEEZ (SYD)

This was probably the local track we played most last year. BIG SKEEZ really stood out in ‘16 for his song-writing hustle & originality (highlighted on his S.A.T.T mixtape). Remixing such a familiar, iconic song allowed SKEEZ to let loose in the booth more than ever before, resulting in 3:14 of explosive, feverish trap-fury filled with icy-cold local references/flips. 39. “ALIVE REMIX (ft. BARO & CAZEAUX O.S.L.O)” - ESESE (MELB)

Couldn’t think of a more suitable 2016 MELBOURNE summer-rap anthem than this BARO remix if I tried. It feature local pillars: CAEZEUX O.S.L.O, SKOMES and the ESESE crew - and oozes those heavenly FITZROY day-party vibes. Hearing HENOQ and O.S.L.O both spit new-gen AUS boom-bap masterpieces in rapid succession would’ve brought a tear to the eye of every true BURN-CITY rap-fan this year. 38. “NO MORALS (ft. $KINNY DOM)” - BLACK NAPOLEON (WA)

On “NO MORALS”, BLACK NAPOLEON brought equal parts: slow, deliberate and estatic D double E style booth raps - the kind you’d hear on some UK Pirate radio set to the table. LUCHII, another PERTH-based genius jumped into the mix sounding more like a 6K Gucci, nailing the perfect guest verse. The CAMERON PARK directed-visuals for this one featured no guns, knives or punches thrown, but it still stands as one of the most violent local vids of ’16. #HOMEBAKED. 37. “FUCK THE JUDGE (ft. REMI)” - BARO (MELB)

When BARO dropped the second taste of his soon-TBR JPYNTK tape about 6 months ago, the world was torn in half by the racial violence sweeping the US. It was literally with you everywhere you went, no matter ur skin colour. “FUCK THE JUDGE”, which was released at the very hight of this chaos featured inspired verses from REMI + BARO and was accompanied by the statement: “They're killing my people. They're killing PEOPLE.” The song itself also made another (less important statement) about BARO’s unflinching confidence as a dude/rapper. It was his first absolute crystal clear “fuck u” to industry/fan expectations - a sign that he might be giving the typical AUS rap-sound a much needed kick up-the-butt in 2017. 36. “POTENTIAL (I SEE)” - LORD LEVI (MELB)

When it comes to MELB underground anthems in 2016, LORD LEVI’s “POTENTIAL (I SEE)” is practically unrivalled. The hook, flow and production on this one truly encapsulates the rise of the BURN-CITY outer-suburb high-school trap scene in 2016. LEVI and the GREMLN squad built a dedicated following last year on the back of songs like this. Trek thru any BURN-CITY suburb and “I SEE POTENTIAL” follows u through the streets. 35. “FLEX MODE” - ERIK SANDERS (BRIS)

Brisbane’s ERIK SANDERS blew up out of nowhere last year on the back of several highly-polished, US-influence nu-trap singles. “FLEX MODE” bursts out of the gate with a series of auto-tune inflected bars that twist-and-turn, merging multitudes of impressive melodies in quick succession. This one gets real wild at the end too. 34. “RIDE (ft. REZT)” - LUCHII (WA)

LUCHII has always struck us as an interesting character, but we still slept on the man in ’16. When he dropped “RIDE” like a month ago, we swore to stay woke on the PERTH creative forevermore. This one rides an island trap wave that reminded us of CHILDISH GAMBINO’s “CALIFORNIA” and MAC MILLERS new stuff, but it also hits on something completely new. The vocals reference ATL rhythms/tones AND something else, which MUST have been born in a cloud of green smoke on one of those pristine PERTH beaches. 33. “PULL UP (ft. CIDI, LORD BRAVO, DUT BOL & RANDOLPH)” - BONKI CHOL (ADEL)

In 2016, the TREXON WAVE squad was our guilty pleasure. We legit found ourselves rinsing their proficiently rugged trap cuts more than CHANCE or FRANK. “PULL UP” is the song that started the whole affair. I remember being high af on a Tuesday at like 2PM about 8 months ago just blasting this enchanting MIGOS-style cut on my speakers for an hour straight. Jut listen to BONKI CHOI and homies: CIDI, LORD BRAVO, DUT BOL, RANDOLPH bring the sauce one time. They all flaunt separate styles, personalities and lyrical tendencies on this one, but their skills/delivery are at 100 throughout. 32. “HOW U FEEL” - NICO GHOST (MELB)

Close your eyes and “HOW U FEEL” will take you to a dark, nondescript club setting. Smoke settles in over those eerie trap bells - the calm before the storm. That amazing harpsichord removes any sense of time/location. Your mind is finally empty. Nico spits that FB generation mantra: “I couldn’t really give a fuck how you feel”, lulling you into a false sense of security before ruining your life with intensity. NICO’s 2016 was pretty-much dominated by his wild live-show. But in between sets he found the time to gift us with this the premiere for this one. Was a huge step forward for us. The man’s legit. 31. “MONSTER TRUCK” - ALLDAY (MELB)

ALLDAY is huge - has been for years now. In 2016, he went through a bit of a sonic evolution and we fucked with it heavy. “MONSTER TRUCK” is a song that pushed Australian rap to places in the world it rarely reaches. This one features earnest lyrics, euphoric melodies and a skin-tight flow - years of work/experience all coming together. ALLDAY made some serious global waves last year as unique voice in the world of post-OVO rap music. 30. “LIONA” - NASTY MARS (MELB)

On “LIONA”, future-star NASTY MARS took warm, wavy, lo-fi production ripped straight from a SOULECTION cassette and crafted his own rap/soul-experiment around the peaks and flows of the beat. Although, hardly representative of this guy’s unreleased material, live show and overall position in the AUSTRALIAN rap/soul scene - “LIONA” still managed to take on a life of it’s own… just suss the comments. 29. “BLOOD THICKER THAN WATER” - LUTHER (BRIS)

One of BRISBANE’s most charismatic up-and-comers, LUTHER teamed up with AUS production royalty JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS early last year for a YOUNG THUG/LIL WAYNE style cut that blew us away. The production bangs. LUTHER’s wild, warbling trap-jitterings are fierce, crunchy and at times hilarious. Everything you want in a track like this. The dude is associated with the WORLDWIDE BOYS who will blow up this year. 28. “THIRSTY” - ANFA ROSE (SYD)

“THIRSTY” came last year amidst a never-ending avalanche of consistently jaw-dropping ANFA ROSE & DOPAMINE joint-efforts. Everything on this one from the samples, to ROSE’s perfectly structured verses - to those 808 snares cutting thru your entire being - to the lyrics enforced our theory that these dudes aren’t human. They are computer programs or clones or holograms or something. 27. “MARIA MARIA” - GEEK, CHARLES X & SELASIE WUSSAH (SYD)

This one - easily top 3 most iconic “THANK GUARD” anthems in our entire history. Seeing it live at one of our BONEY parties inspired some of the most emotional dabs ever dabbed. When it dropped back in Jan, it brought out some of our best writing ever too… so I’m just gonna quote myself here.

“On the most polished THANK GUARD Premiere to-date, a dynamic trio of epileptic acid-rappers exchange contrasting melodic flows - in a bid to win a Spanish bae’s heart.” If you don’t know GEEK, CHARLES X (of CULT SHOTTA) or SELASIE WUSSAH by now we don’t trust u. 26. “1 3 1 6” - E L K (ADL)

Adelaide teen E L K bursted onto the scene with last year with “TUTEN KARMEN”, which would have easily made the top 10 if he didn’t remove it from SC. “1 3 1 6”, a different (but equally impressive) joint also blew us away. This one brings guys like MF DOOM & JAY ELECTRONICA to mind instantly, but channeled thru the purity of a fresh, young mind with the voice of a rap-god. In 2016 alone, E L K and his PLAYBACK 808 crew went from bedroom rappers, to the creators of a legit AUS rap movement that looks poised to climb mountains in 2017. 25. “FEELING GOOD FEELING GREAT” - TOYOTOMI HIDEYOSHI (WA)

2 months ago, FourAM head-honcho TOYOTOMI HIDEYOSHI teamed up with producer SNOWEE for a sun-drenched 6K anthem. Some rare RAE SCHREMMURD vibes (if they were slightly more sober). Truly peaks at the end. TOYOTOMI is another young dude whose influence on the culture went beyond rapping last year. From short films, events to supporting those around him - this kid did it all in 2016. 24. “DOPER THAN DOPE (MACHINEDRUM REMIX)” - SK SIMEON (MELB)

One of AUSTRALIA’s best rhythmic-vocalists had a huge 2016. SK SIMEON has been a worldwide reggae force for a minute now. Born in Uganda, recorded his first song at a studio in Dandenong… But last year “DOPE THAN DOPE” - one of his best tracks to-date was remixed by MACHINEDRUM. This version (which sounds good anywhere) took SK’s insane rapid-fire singing and infectious tongue-in-cheek delivery to dance-floors around the world. 23. “NULIFE” - MAIA (BRIS)

BRISBANE neo-neo-soul singer/producer MAÏA returned to form in 2016 with her nostalgic, intimate “LOFI” Mixtape. “NULIFE” - a definite standout will swallow you up whole in a blanket of warm, jazzy melodies and pulsating rimshots. Coming very early in the year, this track really pre-empted a lot of trends that are dominating American music culture as we speak. We predict huge things for MAIA in 2017. 22. “$AUCE” - GREMLNS (MELB)

2016 was the year of the GREMLN in the suburbs of MELB. No other underground AUS rap squad made more of an impact than these guys in the last 12 months. This “SAUCE” video came about after months of anticipation and was defs worth the wait. It showed the GREMSQUAD more polished-than-ever, a bunch of real young talents standing at the crossroads between street-fame and industry acceptance. The video itself is like a cross between an old-school Tarantino movie and a London GRIME vid, but set in some unmistakably murky Burn-city graffiti spots. 21. “BERETTA” - MATT BLACK (SYD)

SYDNEY-based vocalist MATT BLACK exploded out of the blocks last year with a series of MIRACLE/DOPAMINE produced R&B/SOUL singles - the type big labels dream about every night. “BERETTA” is the whole package. A high-concept, slow-burning, futuristic love-song which cleverly compares a lover to a pistol. Two things that (depending on the circumstances) can save you or destroy you, make u feel like a man or a mouse. 20. “EVERYDAY” - DREAM$TEAM (ADEL)

So much love for duo’s with vastly different voices. When you listen to a DREAM$TEAM you got no time for boredom. You’ve got CHARLTON on the first verse who always goes in with this SHAKE070-style flow and A-grade emotionally-charged lyricism, then the other G comes in riding world-class auto-tune vibes that sit somewhere between YACHTY & TRAVI$ SCOTT. The production, which features ZAYTOVEN-style piano, is the opposite of corny… bounces hard & leaves plenty of room for vocals. These guys are insanely talented for their age-bracket. Anythings possible for them in 2017 19. “TENNIES” - TKAY MAIDZA (ADEL)

TKAY MAIDZA, easily one of the most successful artists on this list had a huge 2016. She was spun on SKRILLEX’s OWSLA radio show, played a tonne of festivals in AUS & FRANCE, but most importantly dropped a huge studio album, TKAY, which featured guest verse from KILLER MIKE (Run The Jewels). “TENNIES” was our favourite track from the album, because it combined her signature worldly sugar-rap with some hella uplifting footwork vibes. How often is boundary-pushing music this much fun? 18. “LAPUTA (TAYLOR MCFERRIN REMIX ft. ANDERSON PAAK)” - HIATUS KAIYOTE (MELB)

The one and only MELB-based GRAMMY-nominated future-soul quartet that we probs should have posted by now had to have a presence on this list, at least to show you all what’s possible. Their second album “CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON” is a must listen, but was released waybach in 2015. Last year, TAYLOR MCFERRIN recruited ANDERSON PAAK to rework standout single “LAPUTA” for a remix EP. The results speak for themselves. 17. “PEACEWALKER” - GALLU$, RAIDER KING (BRIS)

GALLU$ was real cult-force down in BRISBANE last year. His influence on the scene transcended his recordings - a huge statement considering the quality of songs like “PEACEWALKER”. This one features some heavy statements screamed with a natural Aussie accent over “GLASSSS” by PYRMDPLAZA. 

“THIS INDUSTRY’S FAKE & THE PEOPLE TALK BULLSHIT // THAT SOUNDS PRETTY OBVIOUS // SO WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING? // QUESTIONING MY OWN MUSIC LIKE // EVERY LINE THAT I WRITE // CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL STUPID.” - nuff said. 16. “ALL OF MI LIFE (MACHINEDRUM REMIX)” - YAW FASO (MELB)

2016 was a year where artists like POPCAAN & J HUS were getting love on THE FADER + DRAKE/BIEBER/SKRILLEX were jacking sounds from the Caribbean and breaking billboard records. When our own YAW FASO shared this MACHINEDRUM remix of his sun-drenched single “ALL OF MI LIFE” the timing was perfect, but as the hook declares, he wasn’t riding any trends. Reggae is one of the few genres that makes you smile, dance and forget about all your issues. This song, bursting with: FASO’s highly motivational reggae mantras, sugary buildups and super-refreshing production does all the above. 15. “IDK” - GILL BATES (BRIS)

With his LESS STRESS, MORE SUCCESS EP, GILL BATES showed a whole new side of himself to the world in 2016. Standout cut “IDK” took the catchier side of AUS rap into unknown territory: substance & self-awareness. Above all tho, it’s just a great song. That larger-than-life JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS production grabs you from 0:01… GILL’s opening line “BEEN DROWNING MY SORROWS // BOTTLE AFTER BOTTLE” takes you into his psyche… Then GILL & JAMES drag you deeper and deeper into darkness before flipping things with a bittersweet xylophone-driven hook. A world-class highlight from one of the best local releases in 2016. 14. “NEVER BEEN” - TYRØNE (SYD)

In the last 12 months, few local artists worked harder than TYRØNE. The SYDNEY rapper/producer legit dropped a full EP Trilogy, brimming with GOAT Australian rap lyricism. Song, after song the guy managed to craft a unique aesthetic for himself and his music – darkness that isn’t fake. “NEVER BEEN”, a real standout encapsulates this dedication to his craft more than any other. That skin-tight baritone flow just doesn’t stop on this one. “I SAY LIFE IS EVERYTHING YOU MAKE IT // ONE THING DAMN RIGHT I AIN’T NEVER BEEN FAKE BITCH” 13. “HIT EM” - I AM D (BRIS)

BRISBANE one-man-movement I AM D flew way under our radar until we heard this one. “HIT EM” showcased D’s near iconic nu-AUSSIE rap tone, through a stream of SKEPTA-like vocal punches that explained every move he would make in the local scene. Little did we know at the time, but he actually went on to achieve everything he rapped on this track. In a matter of months after its release: he got signed to a major label, dropped a hugely successful EP, landed a national tour and stamped his influence on the local culture. 12. “NO FATIGUE (ft. GEEK & SELASIE WUSSAH)” - CULT SHØTTA (SYD)

The video for “NO FATIGUE” really set the tone for CULT SHØTTA season in 2016. They were always a truly unique presence in the Australian rap game, but on this track, they toned things down, unleashing line-after-line of vibrant acid-raps over a relatively sparse bass-driven trap beat. As per usual, CHARLES X, GEEK & SELASIE WUSSAH each brought their A-game, showing off vastly different styles/personas, each challenging different “AUSTRALIAN RAP” taboos in the process. It also marked the beginning of director RUFFY’s much-needed string of ambitious video-work that helped elevate many-a local rapper last year. 11. “FOR GOOD (ft. SAMPA THE GREAT)” - REMI (MELB)

Couldn’t think of a better ’16 feel-good Aus-rap summer anthem than REMI and SAMPA’s “FOR GOOD” if I tried. When your air-con breaks on a 35 degree day, this song could actually save ur life. The production, hook and overall vibe really feels like a classic Triple J anthem, the type that soundtracked our lives. But, obviously everything has been re-worked for the next-generation, creating a crisper, more sonically diverse hit than we’re used to. 10. “EXISTENTIALITY” - OJIKAE (MELB)

“EXISTENTIALITY” is a lovesick vision that’s refreshingly different from the over-saturated BILLBOARD TOP 100-style R&B that the likes of TORY LANEZ and BRYSON TILLER put out. It was also the very first track released by 17 y.o VCE student Matt Cicero, which blew us away immediately last JULY. The guy wrote something original, produced the track himself and whipped out a spine-tingling vocal performance that singlehandedly dragged his ass all the way to the top 10 of this list. 9. “ASSUMPTIONS” - MANU CROOKS (SYD)

“ASSUMPTIONS” was premiered on ZANE LOWE’s BEATS1RADIO show… got our mag a global shoutout AND tore stages apart across the country in 2016. We heard more sides of Sydney game-changer MANU CROOKS than ever before on this one. With help from production masterminds DOPAMINE & MIRACLE, CROOKS departed from them brooding Toronto vibes to show Australia & the world that he can can TURN UP like the best of them. 8. “CALL ME” - DEVARN (MELB)

This song is what THANK GUARD is all about. Sonically, it’s right up our alley… but more importantly it came from a creative young dude who: thinks for himself and punches well-above his weight considering the resources/money some people on this list have at their disposal. It also tells a story we have witnessed for years now…

“ALL OF MY N*GGAS THEY WORK IN THE SUN // WAITING FOR LABELS TO HIT UP THEY PHONE // I WANT SOME MONEY TO GET ME A PHONE” Few rappers can get you on their side like Melbourne’s DEVARN. His vocals are earnest, intimate - when he raps, it feels like he’s letting you into his world. He doesn’t slur his words, or smother them in auto-tune either - you can hear every word the man is saying. Also, huge props for referencing some of our fav underground anthems >> SAUCE (GREMLNS) >> MOOSHAMAD // I HAD A DREAM WE GON’ MAKE IT. Damn. 7. “000000” - MIDAS.GOLD (BRIS)

Last year, Brisbane’s MIDAS.GOLD elevated himself to the Mount Rushmore of this new-wave. Of all the wild trap releases & intimate soul-searching cuts on his huge FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH EP, “000000” had the biggest impact on the scene. It dropped all the way back in JANUARY when local rappers were all bumping FUTURE & YOUNG THUG 24/7, but still didn’t truly believe that an Aussie could incorporate these sounds into their music so convincingly. MIDAS truly made this quality JAMES DAMIAN ANGUS/MO LIASON beat his bitch from 0:01, before abruptly taking the track down a notch in its last third, flipping the beat and creating a Schoolboy Q-esque bleary-eyed, kushed-out vibe that eased the track out from its original energy. 6. “WHIP IT” - BIG SKEEZ

We’ve been huge supporters of BIG SKEEZ for a long time. Every track he dropped in 2016 wreaked of originality in both vision and character. SKEEZ, a dude climbing his way up a ladder of: elegant email signatures, cut-throat managers and concrete industry rules, often collaborated with us thru a simple fb message - or just bumping into him in the city. This made us question the likelihood of his success to some extent, but when this video for “WHIP IT” dropped, it turned all our dreams into a reality. The WAVY BADMON, along with his SYDNEY crew absolutely owned the big screen, turning up like a pro to one of the standout tracks from his under-rated debut mixtape. Seeing this whole evolution transpire before our very eyes gave this CERNE STUDIOS production a real sentimental value for the whole THANK GUARD team. 5. “ABSURD” - ANFA ROSE (SYD)

ANFA ROSE and DOPAMINE’S magnum opus will make you cry like a Canadian watching Drake sing the national anthem. The silky smooth, “Absurd” is a beautifully executed blend of 808s, pianos and harmonies. When it comes to polish, no local track released in 2016 comes close to this one. DOPAMINE stripped back that instrumental, focusing on an ethereal and ominous beat with a chordal pattern that slides effortlessly from note to note. ROSE’s delicate melodies fuse perfectly with the instrumental and his lyrics, which are reminiscent of DRAKE’s odes to RIHANNA, or THE WEEKND’s odes to drugs. 4. “RUN IT (ft. LEVI, PHANTOM & KMALITH)” - MIKE WANG (MELB)

When low-key GREMLN MICHAEL WANG dropped this fire squad track all borders between Australia & America went up in flames. The MELBOURNE underground literally outshone the AUSTRALIAN i-Tunes charts. Nothing would make sense ever again. In terms of flow, lyricism and local impact… this was without a doubt one of the best Australian rap tracks released in 2016. WANG, LEVI, PHANTOM & KMALITH came out, guns blazing with their own jaw-dropping take on that MIGOS-style flow (and this was all before “BAD & BOUJEE” blew up). That little OVO-style hook/breakdown “I GOT BANDS…” really added a whole other dimension to the song too. Don’t even get me started on the message behind these lyrics and their relevancy to our scene, the city of MELBOURNE and the racial/cultural tensions often overlooked by most Australians. 3. “BLOWIN’ UP (ft. MIRACLE)” - MANU CROOKS (SYD)

“BLOWIN UP” was MANU CROOKS flipping the switch and making a statement: his rise to success is about much more than bangerz. Being able to rap and record full-time is any local rapper’s dream and seeing the SYDNEY rapper get premiered on The FADER must have motivated thousands of Australian teenagers to keep hustling in 2016. Honestly, didn’t think someone from this new AUS rap-scene would make the pages of a mag like The FADER for at least another year. That stamp of approval means a lot. Manu’s tuned-up, magnetically charismatic vocals definitely stole the show on this one…Dude just seems to know exactly what to rap and when. But, none of this would have been possible without his equally talented bros: DOPAMINE & MIRACLE who both shined, bright as ever on this one. 
DOPAMINE always knows just the right amount of syrupy autotune to sprinkle over his mates vocals & this beat speaks for itself. MIRACLE’S production and vocals contributions always help bring a track to the next-level. All 3 of these guys will no-doubt make even more Australian-rap history in 2017. 2. “WDUBI (ft. NASTY MARS & MARCUS)” - BARO (MELB)

When the mind of a black sheep is re-configured to entertain the mindless masses, an artist has reached their final frontier. BARO (NASTY MARS & MARCUS) did this last year with “WDUBI” - the first taste from his eagerly-awaited JPYNTK tape. On first encounter, it plays as the perfect Australian new-gen rap jam. But on further inspection, everything about it: the production, vocal stylings and somber sonic undertones expose it for the beautiful alien it really is. All three verses loosely acknowledge US 2K16 rap (CHANCE, GAMBINO etc), but overall this track really does’t follow the rules set by the American market at all - which is why we love it so much. That NIC MARTIN production plays a huge roll in this also. Something about those double-timed snares/claps and the tempo made this one feel so damn refreshing. We really played the fuck out of this one last year. THANK GUARD. Oh btw “AND IF WE HAVE A SON I THINK WE’LL NAME HIM STEVEN” - line O.T.Y 1. “BLUE BOSS” - SAMPA THE GREAT (SYD)

LMAO. In 2016, a lot of local bro’s hyped their shit like crazy. Walking around like the TUPAC reincarnate, talking smack online & sharing videos on FB 10 times a day… and SAMPA THE GREAT quietly drops a song that makes them all look foolish, raising her to instant-legend status. SAMPA is emotionally mature, intellectually elegant, socially conscious. Her words can fight wars or comfort a child. She is the type of person you’d want running for president, let alone running the local rap scene. “BLUE BOSS” is like a world-class 2K16 surprise rap-hit, but also feels timeless. Unlike kindred spirits NONAME & KAMAIYAH, SAMPA keeps her production and overall-vibe as earthy as possible, creating her own unique place in the rap-world. Considering the desperate need for more female rappers in this country, the quality of SAMPA’s vocals and her all-too-rare modest demeanour, we had to give “BLUE BOSS” the #1 spot. Posted by PAULINE HANSON