#might be my darkest one

[fangirleaconmigo]

There are a lot of fics in the fandom where Jaskier is a concubine or bed warmer and is gifted to Geralt (usually warlord Geralt) and that becomes his path to freedom and love. Some of them are among the best fics in the fandom. One of them is one of my favorite fics ever.

But I do get to thinking...

Men who are physically strong and skilled in combat (like Geralt) can also be exploited. In fact, physical power is one of the most limited forms of power, and witchers are exploited and oppressed in canon. And by the same token, men who can't wield a weapon (like Jaskier), can be very powerful if they are born into the correct family.

So. What if we flip their roles in the narrative? (I'm sure there are flipped fics out there, but I'm going to spin my own idea for a minute.) Alright. Here we go. My idea for Prince Jaskier/Gladiator Geralt.

CW for references to past sexual abuse. Do not read further if you don't want to read any references to sexual abuse. As I said, it is a reversal of the trope mentioned above, so none of the abuse is between Geralt and Jaskier, but the premise does involve servitude and abuse.

---------

Jaskier is a prince sent out on his very first diplomatic visit. He has been chosen for this task (negotiating a treaty) because he has come of age, and his father wants him to make a match with the princess. His father has managed to keep his country's economic crisis a secret, but it won't stay that way for long. If Jaskier can impress his hosts perhaps he can marry the princess, and his people will be pulled back from the brink of financial ruin.

But before Jaskier goes, his father counsels him that he will see some barbaric practices in this other country. Though this other country is wealthy and advanced technologically, it still engages in things like gladiator fights and indentured servitude. Jaskier says that he understands. He can keep his mouth shut no matter what he sees. He knows that they are counting on him.

The first day of the visit goes well. During a long session of intense negotiations, Jaskier makes a brilliant first impression, so much so that the king invites him to be the guest of honor at a gladiator fight. Jaskier does not have a stomach for violence or gore. So he downs a few goblets of wine to take the edge off and to keep himself relaxed enough to not vomit at the first sight of entrails.

Their prize gladiator is a striking, white haired warrior with mystical powers. He has an enviable streak of wins, and the people love him. Part of why they love him is because he seems to hate killing people. He will do it efficiently and well, in order to defend his life. But when they push someone out into the ring that is ill prepared or a poor match for him, he does everything he can to stall or stop the fight.

Once, the king tells Jaskier, he refused to fight and managed to convince his opponent to refuse to fight. They publicly executed several prisoners in retaliation, so now he fights. But he curses them elaborately after every win.

Instead of it weighing on their conscience, however, the audience moons over him as a noble assassin, a killer with a heart of gold. It's the irony, it's the angst. They love him. Not enough to free him of course, but they love him.

Jaskier worries he is not drunk enough for this, but he manages. As expected, the warrior wins the fight. It is a tough match against a skilled and weathered opponent. But he fights with the mesmerizing grace of a brutal dancer and he wins in a spectacular fashion. The crowd goes berserk.

Though Jaskier finds the warrior incredibly compelling, his eyes drawn to him over and over like a beacon, he is relieved as fuck that the whole thing is over. He can't wait to go back to his room and cleanse away the memory of that horrible pulsing severed carotid with maybe a song or another drink. He can't wait to have more power and ban some of these horrific practices.

But before he can get back to his room, the king makes him an offer that he is entirely unprepared for. He has taken such a liking to Jaskier that he offers to send the champion up to his room.

That is when Jaskier learns that the royal ladies (and some of the men) take great pride in partaking of the warrior after a match. It is the highest honor.

It's partly his beautiful physique. They have special clothing made up for him that resembles his armor, but offers more access. It's partly the danger and the thrill of conquering such a violent beast. They bind him and they station guards close by so he can't retaliate. But the thought that he could kill them with the twist of a wrist is part of the appeal. It is also partly the exclusivity. The entire kingdom loses their mind for this warrior, but it is only they who have access to him. It gives these wealthy, bored, royals a rare thrill.

When his host explains all of this, Jaskier's stomach drops almost to the soles of his shoes. His first instinct is to be outraged. To say no. His kingdom has done away with bed warmers and...well...sex slaves, really. He has been brought up to believe that ravaging someone, anyone, is a base, cruel, horrible thing to do.

So he almost says no. He almost shouts it. Frankly, he would like to slap the king across his smug beastly face. Obviously he can't do that. But he wants to. But then a thought flickers across his mind. If he says no, then this warrior will be sent to someone else. And who knows who that person will be and what they will do to him.

Jaskier feels sick to his stomach when he accepts the king's offer. He hopes his disgust isn't apparent. He tries to make it sound lusty. To his own ears, he fails at it. Besides his disgust for the idea, he is also incredibly inexperienced. If he has to feign an intimate understanding of the specifics of sex, he'll reveal himself to be the young amateur that he is.

But the king is so drunken and self absorbed that he doesn't even notice. He claps Jaskier on the back, calls him my boy, and motions to his guards. The guards jump to attention. The king points down to the arena at the warrior. The warrior is slick with sweat and blood and grime. He is quietly cleaning his sword with a far away look on his face. The cheers of the crowd weigh on him.

Just then, the warrior looks up at Jaskier. His golden eyes feel like a punch to the solar plexus. He sees what is happening. He knows who is being conferred the honor of his body tonight.

Jaskier wants to mouth an apology. To explain himself. Of course he can't. They are too far apart and there is too much noise between them. Besides. Jaskier is currently pretending to be into this. But his eyes slide away guiltily. He feels queasy and he is regretting the wine right about now.

The king asks Jaskier if he wants the warrior grimy or clean. They can bathe him before they send him up, or they can just walk him up as he is, for a more authentic experience. Jaskier feels a cold fury bubbling inside. He shoves it down. He says to send him as he is. Jaskier will draw a bath in his own room and give the gladiator privacy.

The king makes a crude joke about Jaskier liking it dirty, and he almost bites through his tongue in order to hold it. He tastes copper.

Soon, Jaskier is alone in his room, pacing the marble floors, clenching and unclenching his fists. He is deep in concentration, trying to figure out how to play this. When the guards bring the warrior, will they leave? Or will they insist on staying close by? How will Jaskier hide his true intentions from them? Whatever they see, they will undoubtedly report to the king.

Jaskier chews his bottom lip and whispers to himself, practicing what he will say to the warrior if he can get them alone.

You'll be safe tonight.

You don't have to do anything.

Would you like to bathe yourself? I won't look.

Do you want...other clothes?

Suddenly Jaskier feels like the inexperienced, sheltered young prince that he is. His success during negotiations this morning feels like a fluke. He has never taken charge of anything. He's not even fully finished with his second decade of life. Why did he think he could do this? He can hear his own heart beating so hard that his chest cavity is vibrating. He is terrified. Terrified what this grizzled warrior will see when he looks at him. Terrified he will fuck it all up.

When the guards drag in the champion, he has to duck to pass through the doorway. His broad shoulders fill it almost entirely. He comes to stop in the middle of the room, his chains settling and his shoulders stiffening. They have changed him into his costume, which is little more than flimsy strips of leather. Wide expanses of skin glisten with sweat. He lifts his chin and his eyes bore quietly into Jaskier.

Jaskier swallows hard. He can feel his fingers trembling, so he clasps them at his waist. There is something about this man. He isn't like anyone Jaskier has ever met before. There is honesty and nobility but also flint and defiance in his eyes.

The young prince is indeed inexperienced, but in that moment, he understands something very important. He knows the truth in his very bones, and the truth is this...

He is in way over his head. He is utterly doomed.

Not because of the guards or because of his host, the lecherous king. He isn't even doomed because of his father or his obligations.

He is doomed because he already knows in his marrow that he will give anything, sacrifice anything, maybe even his own people, to give this man anything he needs.

PART TWO IN THE REBLOG

#the witcher #geraskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #geralt x jaskier #the witcher fic idea #might be my darkest one #and i already have wips #but i'm gonna let this percolate here #lets see how far i get #descarada writes #descarada writes geraskier

[clusterbuck]

remember to leave milk and cookies out for robert frost and his gay little horse tonight

#get it bc it’s the darkest evening of the year geddit #genuinely loving this poem might be one of my normiest takes but oh well #NOT horniest like autocorrect tried #shush emma #robert frost

[graciousdragon]

guys...keep your eyes peeled tonight or perhaps tomorrow morning for I Have Cooked Something

#rys.txt #i finally finished sketching everything now i just have to edit it. which might take a bit because i have to time all the frames myself #but yeah probably tonight or tomorrow morning :] yippee!! i finally fucking did something!! #it is not much it is just a storyboard animatic thing but. it's still something and that's more than i can say i've done in a while so. :] #mutuals and followers keep an eye out #especially bandom mutuals (its a panic! at the disco song (sorry. its a good one tho)) #and irl friend mutuals (its my art so y'all probably want to see it lol) #and very much especially dawko fan mutuals (which as far as i'm aware consists only of sonia. hi sonia!) bc this is my darkest desire au #the thing i've been obsessed with for fucking. 4 years now maybe? i need to talk about this with someone or else I Will Fucking Explode #I FINALLY DID SOMETHING WITH IT AGAIN!!! (ignore the mostly finished trypophobia meme that's been in my drafts for almost 2 years)

[angrybatgaming]

Here you go! The Darkest Dungeon pics I promised!

(It's all on my PS4, so...again...I apologize for the quality...)

Took me 251 weeks to get to where I was in this old file...

And...EVERYBODY has the Crimson Curse! Except this poor Crusader and...like, two or three other heroes.

My last remaining Leper because the others suddenly kept dying. Also this MAY or may NOT be the Leper I based that one comic on. (The one about the Leper confessing to cheating at cards.)

Kept these two alive so far! And Reynauld apparently cured himself of his kleptomania! :D Dismas, however, is still not allowed in the gambling parlor. (Which is fine, as there are plenty of other places I send him for stress relief, and it doesn't affect him negatively.)

Asshole Jester. Makes everyone cry. For no reason.

And here he is! The man! The myth! THE LEGEND! MY BOI!!!!!!!

And now onto why I'm having issues with money...

I'M FILTHY STINKING RICH, AND IT SUCKS. BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING TO SPEND IT ON OUTSIDE OF TREATMENTS, ACTIVITIES, SUPPLIES, AND TRINKETS I ALREADY HAVE.

All because of THIS. I would have made just as much with just a single Antiquarian!

Who is unfortunately sitting in the unemployment office due to the bank. Used to have two, but one of them died of stress. (I swear, I take good care of my heroes. Stupid just likes to happen out of the blue when you least expect it.)

Annnnd that's it. For now. Deciding whether I should continue and finish this campaign, or if I should just start a whole new file. If I continue, I wouldn't mind any advice on what equipment and skills the heroes should have. Or if I should lock or remove certain perks/quirks.

I have at least one (if not multiples) of each hero. The image limit on here won't let me put up screenshots of each and every single one. I'd have to reblog this one to post them all.

#screenshots #Darkest Dungeon #advice is welcome #Dismas #Reynauld #Azor #Crusader #Leper #Highwayman #Antiquarian #Flagellant #Jester #I know ONE Leper died to the Shrieker #and I was SO mad because he was one of the best tanks in my roster #fun fact: Azor started out with Nymphomania when I first got him #annnnd I'm pretty sure some of the negative stats he has could be a huge problem #and might be why I don't have very many healers

[thescrapwitch]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor & Sauron | Mairon, Maedhros | Maitimo & Sauron | Mairon, Maedhros | Maitimo & Maglor | Makalaurë Characters: Maedhros | Maitimo, Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor, Sauron | Mairon, Maglor | Makalaurë, (except not really) - Character Additional Tags: Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Emotional Manipulation, Mild Gore, Angst, no actual Makalaurë's were harmed in the making of this fic Summary:

The best way to break someone was to make them watch the slow destruction of something they loved. Unfortunately, Sauron had not captured any of Nelyafinwë’s brothers.

Fortunately, he could shapeshift.

#might be one of the darkest things i've written #which might not be saying much but still #hurt no comfort is tagged for a reason #sorry nelyo #my fic #silmarillion #sauron #maedhros #maglor #(except not really)

[yuridovewing]

god avos has taken me such a long time that i've reached the extended library auto-renewal due date on the last 3 books twice

#thank god no one else gives a fuck about avos or the library might get pissed at me for doing it a third time #my new due date is the 18th and lmao i already know im not finishing the arc by then #ill aim to finish darkest night though at least. and if i start river of fire ill just do a pdf for the rest #ig i could just do pdfs in general. sometimes it helps me read if i know its on a tab on my laptop #but id prefer not to yknow? feels better to have it in physical

[snailfen]

i think the stuff i post abt the dragon tamer in servers makes them look more fearless and tough than they really are

#THE REASON THEY ARE LIKE THAT: i fucked up and accidentally gave a scug the darkest backstory ive ever made. idk what happened #poor fucked up little cat. get them one of those sweaters they give to dogs with anxiety or something #they really are just... a cheetah with a therapy dog. except its a dog with a therapy cheetah and there are multiple cheetahs #also i felt inspired to do anthro designs for most of my slugcat ocs... i wanna digitalize them first but ill share em sometime #also with people throwing around human vers of their iterators... i might do that too actually but i need my designs to be set in stone #i want to draw burning curiosity SO BAD but i have NO time 💔 midterms and also big school workload. its a pain #oc: call from the constellations #oc: the dragon tamer #slugcat oc #iterator oc #my art #also started workshopping my designs for the mother but. tbh i might not use straight up noodlefly colors like i planned #cus i dont like how its turning out honestly! then again im not colorpicking LOL #i might steal a design from a certain background slug i drew in the dragon tamers backstory doodles... cus theyre cute i cant not use it #no idea how im gonna factor her needle into her design but oh well! maybe ill make it a stinger or something

[pepprs]

ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.

#purrs #delete later #idk. i typed a bunch here and then deleted it and now idk what to say. i just feel so lonely. i have had fucked up relationships with every #single older adult in my life and never had someone who could a) stay in my life b) be consistently present in my life c) meet my emotional #needs d) actually See me and accept me for who i am. Like not one person who can be all four of those things. and i have to be all four of t #those things for myself now because im 24 and i missed my chance. but how fucking shitty and painful is that? especially after a year like t #this. the way it’s literally ending the SAME way last year did. huge scary promotion (which i haven’t even talked about on here or to anyone #but lia today actually. but it might be huger and scarier than i thought. which is good but also HUGE -‘d scary. and not a bad thing of bc o #course but it’s so fucking… perilous? like it makes me feel profoundly imperiled because i have extremely good reason to feel that way. and #i have to endure the mortifying ordeal of applying for my own job AGAIN after the first time was so horrible. lol) and also losing a beloved #mentor figure who understood me in a way no one else did which mattered immensely even if they couldn’t do the whole presence thing or #whatever. and now i only have one older adult in my life left (aside from my therapist who doesn’t really count bc i only see her once a #week and we barely know each other still) who is like. here and helping me and i KNOW i am so sick in the head i KNOW and i should not be #writing it but every single day i am fucking terrified that i am being or will be separated from him emotionally or physically jsut like all #the others so. LOL!!!!! i am normal and well adjusted. but it’s like so fucking painful because im grasping at straws but again the reality #is im 24 and the only people on this earth who it is fair for me to expect all 4 from and who should’ve provided it to me are my parents. #and i missed my chance with them forever and now i have to do it myself. and that’s ok sometimes and i can handle it… except in the moments #where im sobbing hysterically and everything carries on. when i am in my darkest moments i want to run to an older adult and have them #comfort me but i truly cannot do that with any of the ones i still have left / regularly interact with for so many reasons. and it’s so #painful it makes me sick sometimes. and now i have to be the romy and the lia i wish to see in this world. but how can i do that when i #haven’t finished grieving over them leaving which feels like leaving ME — NOW — in this moment when i have never needed more support of that #kind more. how can isummon it within myself. im not ready yet. i need a long hug and a hand to hold that won’t (have to) let go. when im #crying i need someone to take me somewhere and comfort me and calm me down. and im 24 so i can’t ask for it. but oh my god i need it. and i #missed my chance. and lia left today and she only ever did that for me metaphorically but… tonight i feel more alone than ever. #and it’s like i don’t even have the emotional intelligence or whatever to ASK for that. bc im playing by ear and i don’t know how to read #the music of it. im self taught. that fucking sucks. that SUCKSSS. also that’s too strong a way to put it liek obviously my friends who are #closer to my age are INTEGRAL to me being able to function and i learn from them and cherish their support. but just like i can’t be a mom #to me my friends can’t either. so it’s like what the fuck do i do. get steamrolled by relentless grief and rage every day i guess. #also side note. everything carried on when i was in brighton too. i came home early ofc but it’s like nothing changed in my absence. and #that has fucked me up SUPREMELY. i think that might be a root of it. like hm… it seems my presence doesn’t have impacts. but idk

[blujayonthewing]

I was trying out variations on colorways for aubree's outfit and, with a few of them, realized that her outfit has trended slightly less colorful over time, and specifically less yellow (originally a green and yellow striped vest, then a green vest over a yellow short sleeved shirt, and now possibly a white shirt and green vest, with only small amounts of yellow embroidery). this wasn't intentional, but nonetheless, the concept that, as the adventure has worn on, she's outwardly losing color-- and specifically in favor of browns and whites, the colors associated with the halfling god of death-- is compelling to me. I mean, I suppose if I had been doing it on purpose, the shadowfell arc immediately following our literal deaths and mysterious rebirths would have been a really good time for the most muted palette... but, then again, aubree was still relatively fresh then, confused and traumatized but also still powerfully and stubbornly alive where it counts; vibrant, burning, shining light into dark corners just by existing. but the more we learn, the heavier things weigh, the fewer outlets she has, the less she feels like she can relate to the people who should understand better than anyone... she's still righteous and angry, but she's also just... sad, and tired, and growing more tired the more she feels like she has to keep herself together for everyone else. and gradually, quietly, her colors are washing out.

#not to be fake deep I guess I just love her #and she's having A Rough Go Of It #this isn't even the most rough SHE'S personally had this campaign actually! #but *I'm* a lot more upset about the party failing to give her meaningful support than she is lmaooo #THIS is more-- okay the raven queen is DEAD and the fate of COUNTLESS SOULS in transition is now uncertain #and it's directly because bringing us back to life significantly weakened the gods that did that!! that's all pretty upsetting!!! #also what might this mean for urogalan? or for our warlock's demigod patron who wasn't that powerful to begin with? #but lisbet's so far up her own invented grimdark emo nonsense that she's implying maybe the Right Thing would be for us to all die(???) #and talia's like [shrug] dude idk we didn't ask them to do that so who cares. whatever. it's literally not our problem lighten up #OH OKAY OKAY OKAY I'LL JUST CARRY ALL OF THIS FEAR AND EMPATHY BY MYSELF THEN. WHILE YOU ALL TREAT ME LIKE I'M BEING DRAMATIC. #THAT'S FINE. #[strained humorless grin] and she doesn't even KNOW about the time she was unconscious and being closed in on by monsters-- #and the party all ran in every possible other direction to do literally everything else other than PROTECT HER WHEN SHE WAS HELPLESS #justin had NPCs on standby in case things got ugly without The Tank but they straight up were the only ones who helped me at all #.... ANYWAY. all of which is to say. we're not on a darkest timeline path or anything but she's in the metaphorical moonlight right now #and it's only by the grace of 'I trust my DM' and specifically 'this campaign balances darkness with meaningful hope and love really well' #that she's not doing worse :') got some dark times to stew in #but now that I'm thinking about it I can be proactively thinking about when to bring more yellow back in #about me #my OCs #aubree

[storm-of-silver]

POINTS AT YOU

hi

tell me a fact about final light that you're really excited about so far in development. it can be anything

EHEHE HI!!!!

Development-wise, not so much sadly. I'm learning about UI and dialogue systems atm and I'm thinking of reusing an old WIP I had to test it out, learn, and practice, but otherwise not much on the FL project itself. Just a bunch of learning and tutorials. I've been chipping away at 3D models too but my laptop hates blender with a passion.

Future Development-wise, I really really want to see the story tunnels in-game. There's a few areas I can vividly imagine and I really can't wait to realize in a game (the Colony of Fireflies and Bone territories), but I want the story tunnels to answer a few questions the player might have about the world and it's past, since from the entrance to the end it's just full murals of the history of the colonies. I also just want it to look cool y'know.

The Commander's Maw is also high up on the 'I want to see this in-game' since it's a camping/shelter location- when the player finds a shelter to stay at, they'll be able to roam the shelter to craft, talk to their follower, organize inventory, etc. So, they'll be able to sit at the maw's opening and look over the entirety of the world there. The Colony of Clicker's settlement would also be a shelter but since there's protection (clicking ones) you'd be able to roam the entire settlement- I really want to push the idea that this is a thriving community that is actually living rather than just surviving.

Super super small thing-wise but I'm still somewhat excited about? I'm close to getting the full character roster filled out, and completing the goal of having almost every character gotten for free. I just got two new characters with super nice art, which I'm also happy about!! This would mean only Arrow and Frost of Heather wouldn't be entirely free- I got those two in exchange for some art I did for their original owner.

Prophet of Opossum (left) is by Buzzing_Honey_Bee on TH, and the guy on the right (no name yet sadly) is by @/ribtear!

#sil speaks #ask #final light #multi #thinking orange guy might go in the colony of clickers since im trying to spread out pelt colors evenly #I've (surprisingly) kept the old wip bin pretty empty despite having access to coding abilities and unity LMAO. Theres only 2 in there and #i have the FULL intention of returning to them eventually. #The mysterious old wip was a sci-fi text game. I made it when i was just getting into the more advanced coding stuff and i made it in pygam #not. unity. the code is NOT commented and honestly it scares me. its like an eldritch being hiding on my computer #I probably wont post about it here unless it becomes its own thing (if u know me on discord u may ping me for the Secret Sci-fi Lore tho) #the second wip was a roguelike where a rabbit god of rebirth traps you in a time loop bc it was dying. You had a week to make a party and #lvl them up to save the god. End of the week you were sent back and lost most progress but you kept all knowledge you had. It was sorta lik #darkest dung*on. censoring it just to avoid putting this in the DD tags lol. You'd get characters who would show up and you'd learn about #them each loop and you'd have to piece together how to complete their personal quests so that they could get boosts n shit. #I might actually post some of the concept art i did for this one bc i based the Squirrel god in FL HEAVILY off of the rabbit god #also because i just like the art lol

[yardsards]

okay so like. even before s2 started airing, i never really thought "little miss perfect" fit amity all that well. like, it fit her well enough to go on a playlist for her but not to be like, her theme song, if that makes any sense?

but i did think some of the memes were fun and enjoyable anyway

but i kinda wonder exactly how much it affected fanon. like i feel like there was at least A LITTLE BIT of people tweaking their interpretation of amity's character to better fit the song, even if that meant straying further from canon. i wonder how strongly it influences certain ideas in the fandom like "amity had a perfect facade with no cracks before luz" and "amity is deeply ashamed of her crush on luz". or even some specific theories like "the blight parents are homophobic/homophobia exists on the boiling isles" and "amity is adopted. because she has brown hair."

#possibly swinging a bat at a hornet's nest with this #(though maybe not. i feel like at this point it's one of those hornet's nests where all of the hornets have left.) #on a funnier note: the line 'i jam to paul mccartney' always makes me chuckle a little inside #because it makes me imagine amity sitting there and listening to temprary secretary #i know he wrote tons of songs both on his own and as part of the beatles and i even liked some of them #but ever since u first heard temporary secretary he'll always just he the temporary secretary guy to me #eliot posts #toh #the owl house #amity blight #have been rewatching s1 lately #i remember i didn't wrote much meta at the time when i first watched it #i nean i didn't start watching til i think after understanding willow but before grom #the show gave me some light in what might have been the darkest few months of my life #i remember watching this show after work #or while i sewed masks

[milktoast-femboy]

“ I’m back. This is my present for you. “

#petscop #rainer newmaker #daniel hammond #petscop rainer #tw self harm #tw cutting #tw suicide #this might be one of my darkest pieces yet holy hell #but also i'm really happy w my design for rainer and i might consider starting an ask blog or smth with him #or maybe a rp blog idk #mutt.paint #queue

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

this book is so harrowing it's actually getting hard to read lmao and i have to finish it for tomorrow :/

#like i have to take a break after every chapter bc. oof #i've almost finished it but the content is only getting more disturbing and bleak #i can't see myself being in a good mood when i finish it lmao i might have to watch a comfort movie tonight #my dad read another octavia e. butler book last summer and he said it was brilliant but one of the darkest books he'd ever read #and reading this one he was definitely right #🧃

[arsenicflame]

options, people, options!

please refer to the previous post if you want more details/rambling on what ive been thinking (and also references of this section)

so ive cut out all i said i was going to, and now is the first look on how it could go together! these first three are with the camel brown colour and the various grass options

and the next ones are with the orange colour (and grass!)

as usual the camera is kinda fucking with the colours but i think these are at least giving a good impression of how they all go together finally!! heres a couple pictures closer up with more accurate colours hopefully

im still not sure about the contrast on the lighthouse, but its definitely not too bad! i think ill start on the rest of the lighthouse pieces next and get a better look all together, but aside from that!!!

what are we thinking, are any of these looking good?

#if youre thinking these look like they dont quite fit its bc this is all with seam allowance but not sewn sooo #i think im still feeling 1/2 on the grass combo #i like the lightest colour where it is- especially now its surrounded; i think its a nice pop of brightness in a darker section of the quilt #and im kinda thinking the darkest is too dark to go with it?? but there is also some appeal to the two more similar tones #the rest of the quilt is gonna be quite bright so it might be nice to have the whole corner darker?? #soo basically. the top or bottom picture of each section; probably not the middle one #(but again! if u prefer that one id love to hear what ur thinking !!) #absolutely no decision yet on the brown/orange debate. the bigger pictures also way blow out the orange fjrjdhdhe #which honestly could be a factor to consider anyway bc id like to get nice pictures of this! #uhhh so feeback pls <3 #OH ALSO (im sorry omg this is So Much of me) if you wanna see me try a different colour somewhere im 110% down i have a TON of these #fabrics left over. i could probably cut out a piece for every applicable section and still have like half my piece left #nyxtalks #nyx sews #lighthouse painting quilt

[metalheadkells]

depressed! wishing i could do somethingn with it! 

#where is the fuckup character i can project my darkest thoughts and feelings onto #i cant just write abt what it feels liek straight up bc thats fucking dull #people need a reason to care #and i need people to care #why is it not acceptable to simply say In This Moment I Would Like To Be **** #surrounded by ppl all ur life and yet not one of them will ever understand you because not one of them will ever just listen without #condescendingly presenting you with Solutions to a problem they are so laughably ill-equipped to solve. as are you btw #you don't understand yourself so why does it hurt so much that others don't either #it just does bc life is quirky like that #paper mache person :) #and someone left you in a puddle by the road and now the shit is all gummed up and soggy #''it could always be worse'' over and over and over again as if that means anything when part of you is floating somewhere above your #forehead and the other part of you is the brick dragging at your feet #you might as well not have learned a thing in therapy #etc etc etc etc etc

[kireina-vee]

I love the movie and the books but sometimes I hesitate to go near the material because I SHOULD NOT hyperfixate on it. There aren't new book reviews of this on yt, no endless creators on tt analyzing chapters, characters, and relationships. The closest vids I could get are "why the movie flopped".

Tumblr and Ao3 are the only ones that made me feel better about loving these.

#the darkest minds #weird brain stuff #imma read them again #cry over them again #root for them again #get my heart and soul ripped again by certain deaths #want to find my liam again #darlin #then imma watch the movie again #and fall in love #with all the main characters again #and cry one more time because the second movie might never happen