pinktinselmonstrosity

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i found my new favourite instagram account

#i'm CREASED #🧃

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so i saw this tweet earlier

you too can have a pingus for the low low price of One Thousand Five Hundred pounds quid

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No none of the above this is for the wine enjoyers

#i like a medium white BUT i'm partial to a rosé as well #zinfandel grapes are my favourites

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Lmao how is this real, "the ambient sounds of the world were wrong, sir"

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"people in real life: hey man how's it going" is a killer phrase. instantly neutralizes whatever insane discourse you find online. gonna start using that from now on

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apparently my ticket is valid on the next train too so i don't have to get the bus!!!!!!

waking up to a notification that my train has been replaced by a rail replacement bus service

#thank you to the ticket guy on the train for telling me ❤️ fuck you to trainline for NOT telling me

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died and came back exactly the same but something was so so so wrong with me before and now I have an excuse to really lean into it

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Thursday afffirmations

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look at my new friend!!!

#we're trying to figure out if she's a specific saint or just a generic nun #my mum (qualifications: catholic) says it's st theresa #i'm calling her 'fat nun' in the meantime #🧃

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there needs to be a gender neutral word for niece/nephew that a) doesnt make explicit reference to them being your siblings kid b) doesnt sound fucking stupid

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beating people w a stick that says “hes just some guy” every time they go through idolizing a famous dude and beating people w a second larger stick that says “hes still just some guy” every time enough time passes they subconsciously realize that was annoying and start acting like hes the devil to overcompensate for past cringe

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"You can't actually see my face at that point, but I was crying. I was actually crying."

— Nick Mohammed on TASKMASTER 17x05

#this was SO fucking funny #taskmaster

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GUYS HELP the stupid show i've become obsessed with just had the most insane twist you all need to watch it right now so you understand. what the FUCK

#ok perfectly normal episode... about 3/4 of the way through and they find some new evidence which means they're going to be able #to win the case (this happens almost every episode) #THEN THE DEFENDANT TAKES A GUN FROM ONE OF THE COURTROOM COPS AND STARTS SHOOTING #shoots his lawyer (one of the main characters). HE'S FUCKING DEAD what WHAT #i didn't even really like him but ???? HELP WHAT WHY WOULD THEY SUDDENLY KILL HIM OFF SO VIOLENTLY???? #this show has the same drama stakes as like. succession ok problems are usually resolved with phone calls and meetings #NOT A SUDDEN SHOOTING WHAT THE HELL!!!!!! #fantastic insane show no notes i love it #🧃

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If separated from the mother too early, young fire extinguishers can struggle to adapt.

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A rare opportunity to acquire a sacrificial dungeon simply bursting with original features.

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After days of waiting this agent’s patience is finally rewarded. Weak with thirst, a pair of wild mattresses appear at the watering hole.

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can i jsut say… isnt it insane that polar bears go underground like imagine just walking along with a shovel and u start digging a hole and a bear is in there