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brekkerism · 4 years

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BASIC INSTINCT (Part 1 - A Spencer Reid Series)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Summary: (Y/N) has recently joined the bau through non conventional and rather privileged means. Couple that with a dark and troubled past, all she really wants is a fresh start. What she didn’t predict getting in her way of that, was one Special Agent Dr Spencer Reid. She thinks it’s hopeless and he’ll hate her forever. That is, until she sees Dr Reid on a rather...unusual place.

A/n: I kinda can’t believe this is my first Spencer Reid/Criminal minds fic. I’ve been obsessed for so long but I never got the courage to post anything. Well, we’ll see how this one goes. I really do hope all of you enjoy this, since I’m planning to make it multi chapters and I’m too in love to abandon it! Forgive me for not giving y’all the smut right away but good things come to those who are patient! And also huge thanks to @imagining-in-the-margins for being such a wonderful human and helping me beta this first one. Shout out to all the lovely people in the discord for encouraging me enough to write this. And also for my sweet liv, bc if she didn’t like this I would def not have posted.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Word count: 2320

Rating: R-no actual hard smut. For now.

Content warning: 12+ years age gap, description of bdsm scenes and play, swear words, brief fingering

*********

Since the first day I stepped in the bau, I knew Dr.Spencer Reid would not like me one bit.

Call it a gut feeling, a hunch, or maybe my justified pessimism.

I knew the moment my dad told me, fresh out of the academy and not even slightly experienced at 24 years old, that I ‘mysteriously’ got a generous offer for a job with one of the best teams the FBI had to offer, that I wasn’t going to be liked by a lot of people. Because it wasn’t a mystery how I got the position. It was actually really plain and simple, and could be boiled down to one word:

Nepotism

I didn’t ask for it; I didn’t want it (no matter how much I actually wanted the position, but by my earning it on my own merits), but I completely understood something like this was likely to happen. I knew it the moment I moved back home and decided that the only thing worthwhile I really wanted to do was join the FBI. My dad was a good guy who was just trying to help me, his intentions were just a little misguided. It happens.

What doesn’t ‘just’ happen is that my dad is the deputy director of the FBI. His helping me was ‘making calls’ and ‘pulling strings’, which instantly gives my peers every reason to doubt every achievement I have.

But I was completely ready for it.

What I wasn’t ready for is for everyone on the team to be normal and so welcoming to me, like I was any other agent. It was everything I wanted.

Well, everyone did that except him. I couldn’t figure it out why, but from the first minute he turned those eyes towards me, looking me up and down but never quite reaching my eyes, I could feel the scrutiny under the stare. Almost like he was saying “Really? This is it?”.

But with a blink it was gone, and he turned away from me and put his attention to the book in his hand so fast I almost thought I imagined the whole thing.

But I knew, I knew I saw it. And I knew that even if I didn’t want it, my body and brain would spend days trying to make him acknowledge me again, to look me up and down again, to try and prove to him what I’ve been trying to prove to everyone:

I deserved to be there. I could earn it by myself. I just need the chance to do it.

And so, my journey to try to not only be useful but a valuable agent, someone he would have to notice began.

And it was shit.

Everyone was so willing not only to teach me, but to listen to my input.

Luke always had my back, both of us being the newbies in the team. JJ and Tara were always open to listening to theories, doubts and rambling, besides being totally badass inspirations. Penelope always had a eager and friendly attitude that could comfort me immediately, and she welcomed me with open arms. Emily and Rossi were patient, while also pushing me to be so much better, and being the best mentors they could be.

None of them even seemed to have even a passing thought of giving me special treatment or harsher judgment. It was almost perfect.

If it wasn’t for Special Fucking Agent Doctor Reid. He wouldn’t even be an asshole towards me, oh no, It was much, much worse. He ignored me.

He was almost happy to pretend I didn’t even exist. Of course there were situations that he couldn’t avoid socializing, as minimal as it was, but it was like he was talking to a wall. He looked at me like he was surprised that I was even there. He wouldn’t acknowledge me unless he was made to. He wouldn’t even correct me when I was wrong. At this point I was sure that I could be screaming bloody murder at him and he wouldn’t take his eyes off whatever he was doing.

It was the most frustrating and irritating thing that has ever happened to me. It made my blood boil over. It made me cry with sorrow.

And I couldn’t even figure out why. I didn’t know what it was that made me crazy because Spencer Reid wouldn’t look my way.

So I did what every angry and frustrated normal young adult does.

I went to a sex dungeon to drink my mixed feelings away and watch BDSM scenes. Duh.

Even though I wasn’t going there to play, and I thought I would never be able to play again, it was still a safe place for me. A place where I could see people that once knew the real me and provided a place free of any judgement. People who didn’t know who I was outside of those walls, who thought of me as just another person in that safe and different little world.

It also helped that watching, as much as it wasn’t my preference before, was the only thing that could properly get me off these days. And after everything, I thought I still deserved the ability to enjoy some parts of it.

And so, after saying my goodbyes to Pen, JJ amd Emily, and finding flimsy excuses not to join them at the bar for Friday drinks, I hopped the elevator, wondering how long would it take me to get properly dressed and drive across town, and if I was going to be able to call more of my old friends.

But all my happy thoughts of getting to immerse myself on a world I still loved were immediately clouded when a hand stopped the elevator and went in with me. His hand.

Great, just the perfect ending to an shitty day. A awkward elevator ride with Spencer Reid. And as always, he didn’t bother to acknowledge me, even though it was just the two of us riding down.

I was trying so hard to be in a good mood; to ignore the shitty end to a shittier case and go somewhere where I could try to be happy. But I just had to be met with his silence, his awkwardness, his existence in general. I didn’t want to feel like that today. So before I could stop myself, I did something stupid

“So, what are your plans for the weekend, Doctor?”

Stupid. Stupid, stupid. Like he would voluntarily participate in small talk with me, something he already didn’t like, with someone he didn’t even bother to not like.

“I think I’m going to go to a party with a friend today.”

Now that took me by surprise. No short replies? No one syllable answers? He actually told me something out of his own free will? He engaged in small talk?!

“O-oh? I didn’t know you were one for partying... like, at all. Which friend are you going with? Do I know him?”

Talk to me. Keep engaging in small talk, please.

“You don’t really know me well enough to judge if I am one for partying or not, now, do you? And you definitely wouldn’t know her. I don’t only hang out with people on our team, contrary to popular belief.”

Well that was extremely uncalled for. And rude. I thought that it was the first time he ever referred to me as part of the team, but that was an small detail to analyze later.

“No need to be defensive or rude, I was just asking.”

“Well, don’t.”

He was back to having that stupid blank expression on his face, back to not dignifying me with a proper answer, and that just wouldn’t do, would it?

I had a response. I had an excellent, spectacular comeback to use, but before I could actually defend myself in any way, the elevator dinged open. He couldn’t get out fast enough.

It was infuriating. So I did the only reasonable thing:

I followed him to his car to give him a piece of my mind.

Because of those immensely long legs, he almost got there quick enough to drive away and avoid me, but I would not let my stubby short legs get in the way.

I got my hand in before he could close his door, much like he did with the elevator. He still refused to look up at me but, the cheer disbelief and confusion on his face was enough of a response. Can’t ignore me now, asshole.

“You know, the only reason I don’t know anything about you, is because you pretend like I don’t exist. So don’t be needlessly rude to me. It’s better to keep not saying anything at all.”

And there it was. It was just tip of the iceberg, but at least I acknowledged it. I could actually feel a smirk forming on my face.

“Remove your hand please.”

And he finally looked up at me. All the disbelief and annoyance on his face were gone, replaced by that utterly bored and blank stare.

I actually wanted to scream. How was this the same guy that couldn’t stop talking and rambling enthusiastically about any and everything to anyone, the same person who had a perfect smile and warmth on his eyes for everyone else. How.

It was too frustrating. So I stepped back, removing my hand from his car door and walking towards my own car. It was better to just let it end already so I can wallow in my humiliation over this failed attempt at confrontation.

It almost put me in a bad enough mood that I didn’t want to go to the ‘club,’ but I had already promised Amara, who was not only one of my best friends but also happened to be dating that particular BDSM dungeon’s Mistress. There was no getting out even if I wanted to.

And I didn’t really want to.

****

A hour and dress change later, I was ready to go. This was absolutely nothing like the old outfits I used to wear for this events, but then again, I wasn’t the same girl. Not entirely.

So I opted for a silky black dress with a cowl neck and the best heels I had. It was sexy enough for a night of normal clubbing, but rather tame for a night at a dungeon. It was exactly what I wanted. It was less likely in that type of dungeon for anybody to approach or proposition me if I didn’t look experienced and in my element.

Even if I secretly was.

So I got ready, took my time to properly breathe, and left everything that wasn’t this night or positive thoughts behind the locked door of the apartment. I could come back to them later.

Right now, I was going to be happy and have fun.

*****

I was not having fun anymore. It was unfortunate, and I felt like somehow that this had to be the bad mood I was in from a particular encounter earlier. I just couldn’t find anything that excited me the way I wanted it to. I had made the rounds with Amara, and she had showed me all of the new rooms and new toys before every space got occupied with busy couples and groups.

It was beyond fun exploring before the spaces were being actually used, and imagining what each person would get out of those rooms. It was a pleasant and happy feeling.

But soon enough the dungeon got filled with more and more people, and each room was occupied and used. Most were open for all that wanted to watch, but each scene I passed failed to get my attention. It was especially more daunting and lonely when Amara left to put on a show with her girlfriend in the main room.

And as pretty and wonderful as they looked, I just didn’t feel like watching a couple as in love as Amara and Celeste performing tonight. It was just... a little too much for me. After everything, most loving was.

No, what I was looking for was not that. I was looking for the thing I used to crave. The thing that used to keep me going at all times of the day.

I was looking for fucking. Not couples making love, not couples having sex, not pet play, not elaborate scenes or people using toys so strange and complicated I couldn’t make out what was what.

I was looking for someone completely fucking dominating their partner.

It shouldn’t be impossible to find. Not on a Friday night, and not in a club this good.

And I did. I finally found it.

The dom had his back to the audience and the door with the little window I was watching through. He was turned toward his sub standing on the side while she spread her legs on the bed, her hands tied up to the headboard, showing her pussy to the audience along the wall. It was the perfect scene for me. In fact, too perfect.

She even looked a little like me, in fact. Same build, similar hair. It got me even more excited to watch this through. I took a deep breath and finally opened the door. Stepping in, I leaned against the door, having a direct view to the bed.

And god did I want to watch.

The dom still had his back to us,but I wasn’t watching him. Rather, I watched the girl’s cunt and how he was fingering it, not saying anything for her or us yet.

He has really nice hands.

Really, really nice. In fact I don’t think I’ve seen such nice hands since –

Not the time!

The girls face looked rather blissful, and I imagined three of those pretty and long fingers should be doing just the trick for her.

But then she did something that displeased him.

She moaned. Loudly.

The sound was immediately followed by a sharp slap in her face.

Fuck, that made me wet.

But before I could even entertain the idea of getting my hands inside my panties, the dom spoke.

He spoke in a voice I almost never heard directed towards me, but could pick out in any crowd.

He spoke in the voice of the man that made me so mad I almost didn’t come to the club in the first place.

“Are my fingers inside you too much? Cause I’ll fucking stop if you can’t obey and stay quiet.”

And I froze. I froze and panicked and had to stop myself from screaming by bringing a hand up to my mouth.

Because that was Spencer Reid, in a BDSM dungeon, dominating a girl right in front of me.

Taglist: @imagining-in-the-margins @spencer-reid-in-a-pool @gretaamyk @prettyricky187 @sunlight-moonrise @fanficlibrary82 @blazinvixen @samanddeanstolethetardis221b @httpnxtt @reidetic @hyper-fxation @blushingspencer @reidlusts @wishingwellwriting @redbullchick

I feel like I missed a lot of peeps but please know I’m still thankful ma loves

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life-rewritten · 4 years

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Flower of Evil: The Breakdown of the Psyche of Baek Hee Sung

Watching episode 15 of Flower of Evil is a thrilling experience that still haunts me till this very day. We could focus on the psychological state of Do Hyun So as he hears that Baek Hee Sung kills Cha Ji Won. I could analyse it as a Romeo and Juliet base; dreadful outcome of miscommunication and how this has been foreshadowed since the very beginning of this show. But what's even more fascinating is how the ghost of Do Min Seok is used even more as a way to showcase the breakdown of his psyche again, especially when he starts to doubt Cha Ji Won in front of him because he always believed he wasn't sane. It's a fantastic painful scene. So yeah we could focus on all that, but I want to focus again on the actual message of the show being a flower made of evil/in evil, and look at the man, the coward, the villain of this show Baek Hee Sung. His reasoning, his descent into psychopathy, and his reasons for his thirst to kill.

A breakdown of the psyche of Baek Hee Sung

When we first look at Baek Hee Sung, he's found lying on a hospital bed secretly stashed inside a walk-in closet of his parents. His mum is hugely emotional and anxious about him, we can tell she holds a lot of guilt, and she's involved in his situation. His dad is there to hold her back from making mistakes, whilst also still making her feel guilty whenever she tried to actively move on and accept Do Hyun So as her family. (which she admits to him in episode 14)

Baek Hee Sung lying on the bed doesn't feel as scary and whilst the clues are there that he is the missing accomplice; the reason for why the serial killings stopped after Do Min Seok committed suicide, (the day he went into a coma) and his family's need to conceal him away like a secret. Even when he wakes up, he's still not as scary as his father who acts more coldly and heartless in situations and feels more dangerous than the guy who can't walk. It's until the audience is told he is the accomplice that things start to fall into place. The question is, why is Baek Hee Sung a killer.

The Guilty Party: His Parents

I've already posted about the irony of the identity of Baek Hee Sung, how both he and Do Hyun So are mirrors of each other, foils of each other destined to intersect. Just like Hyun So was taken to therapy at a very young age for hurting animals, Hee Sung was also there because he also dropped a brick from the roof on a dog/car with people in it. He blamed it on stress, and unease from his exams, he needed to let off steam, and whilst Hyun So doesn't react or give of emotions to the therapist, Hee Sung cries and acts guilty making people think he's not someone with a disorder. Including his parents, who feel guilty for making him into one later because of neglect and stress on him to succeed as a maths wiz. This is when Hee Sung meets Do Min Seok, and he tells his parents he was coerced and forced by him into the killing.

Reasons for why his family continues to aid him into killing:

The father and his neglect

The mother of Hee Sung states that from the very beginning she was the one who took care of Hee Sung, she was the one who taught him, stayed by him as he grew up. His dad was nowhere to be found because he was always working. Even in the past, when he was taken to therapy, his father wasn't at the hospital, it was his mother who knew and fully understood his character. The most important scene that is repeated is that his father refused to answer the phone when he ran over Do Hyun So and because he panicked he proceeded to try and bury him in the back yard. This is what caused the catalyst of his mother, stabbing him and realising the monster he's become. It's what drives him to be in the coma. Looking at this information and what Director Baek says, it's his guilt for not being with his son that causes him to act out if he was there perhaps Min Seok wouldn't have coerced Hee Sung if he was there or answered the phone his family would not be in the predicament they are in. His guilt is focused on ensuring his family is safe, protected and mended. Because he was not there at the beginning. From his cold attitude, and unfeeling persona about other matters, it can be assumed that he only focused on the fact that his son was a genius, and math wiz, he probably didn't think it was wrong as long as his status and reputation were good. He believes after his son wakes up that by being by his side, he will change, he will now be part of it and control the other variables. This is what causes him to pardon Hee Sung continuously; he feels too guilty to try and stop him. (though his guilt doesn't stop him from being abusive, I guess.) He's even willing to kill to get his family protected, as long as he can manipulate someone else to take the fall. He uses Do Hyun So as physical place holder, hoping to get rid of him and return his son to that position, he even menace says that Hyun so's wife and child will end up being given to Hee Sung, and that's his goal. The father's character is three dimensional because as much as he acts cold and unfeeling, he does have one thing he cares about his son and family's reputation. This is why it can be proved as well that the environment for Hee Sung was also part of the reasons for his descent into psychopathy/murder. His father neglect that makes him more prone to following Min Seok to get attention.

The mother and her guilt

Baek Hee Sung has a different relationship with his mother; he indulges her and doesn't feel angry about her trying to kill him. He coerces her into helping him and his antics because he plays as well on her guilt. Different from the father's responsibility in neglect, his mum is representative of the burden in pressure. From the start of the show, the mother reacts anxiously to any hints of pressure: she rips up Eun Ha (her fake grand daughter's) maths work because it's too ahead of her, she blames the work for the reason for why it would ruin her life and her mum's, she also questions Eun Ha if her mum hits her, or hurts her when she gets the answer wrong suggesting that Hee Sung may have been forced into the life of being a maths wiz. Her character is over-reactive, and she makes mistakes all the time. She feels guilty for pressuring him into studying, especially when in the psychiatry hospital he says it's what caused him to throw the dog from the rooftop. In her mind, the pressure they instilled on her son is what made him look for refuge and release from Min Seok. Her guilt continues to hunt her because she reacts to the reveal of his killings by stabbing him and putting him in an extended coma. Her guilt is what makes her hide him on life support in the closet, ensuring they keep him alive, and her guilt even worsens when she finally wants to end it all (and move on) by killing him again but only making him wake up. Not only is she feeling guilty for making him a monster because of pressure, but she feels guilty for trying to kill her own son who 'was a victim of the environment'. In her mind, her husband's neglect pushed him into wanting to seek someone else in his life as a mentor, and her pressure on him to succeed caused him to break down in need of release (he killed to feel calmer/distract himself from the stress). Because of this, and the fact that her maid betrays her (she doesn't have anyone else to trust but her family) she allows Hee Sung to coerce her into framing Hyun So. In her mind, because everyone else is terrible/fake because there is no one else who will protect her but her son and her husband she decides to team with them and keep protecting Hee Sung. It's all about guilt. Both the parents feel guilt, but the immense guilt they have is not knowing the influence of Do Min Seok in their son's life.

Do Min Seok and his cruelty

What Hee Sung tells his parents is that Do Min Seok forced him into the killing, he feared for his life, and so his only option was to kill. This is interesting if you do believe his perspective. We've seen Min Seok can be quite coercive as he tried to coerce Do Hyun So as well into hurting and maiming animals, he took him out on excursions waiting for potential to see if he was going to kill like him. Min Seok also approaches Hee Sung due to hearing about his incident with the brick, and he tells him that he's just like him. Reasons for why Hee Sung's parents would believe that Do Min Seok did do what their son says, is because of the cruelty of the murders, and their refusal to accept his role in it that makes them see it as the only option/reason for why he did it. However it is revealed that Do Min Seok did not need Hee Sung anymore once they captured Jung Mi-Sook, he wanted him to turn himself in and stop, but Hee Sung proceeded to kill him because he could no longer go back to his past life, and he now had a never-ending thirst for violence. And this brings the question why did he develop an appetite for murder?

Baek Hee Sung and his thirst for violence

The father figure

It's interesting when we analyse the scene when Min Seok warns Hee Sung not to bring his son into the conversation, his desperate need to frame Do Hyun So as the murder/accomplice, and why he reacts by killing Min Seok for wanting to abandon him. The intentions from Min Seok is clear; he understands that Hee Sung won't be in trouble because his parents are wealthy enough to acquit him for his murders if they pay enough. He's not selfishly abandoning Hee Sung, but he's giving him an excuse to stop killing. This goes against Hee Sung's own claim that Min Seok was abusive and forced him into the killing. So why is he obsessed with framing Do Hyun So. From looking at the environment/nurture, he received so far before he met Min Seok, it could be possible that just as the neglect plagued his father, Hee Sung was plagued by it too. The first way Min Seok coerces Hee Sung into joining him is to speak about them as equal, he states whilst others see it frightening and weird to understand him, Min Seok is like him, and he should find others like him, so he's not lonely. Min Seok used Hee Sung's loneliness to bring him to his side. One might guess that from learning and being mentored by Min Seok, Hee Sung found a father in Do Min Seok, someone who let him be himself (aided his thirst to hurt/maim) and someone who understood him. This can then explain why he is determined to punish/frame Hyun So for the murders; jealousy. It seems that just as much as Hyun So in the future wants to be Baek Hee Sung the most to live, Hee Sung wanted the reverse to be like Hyun So, and have someone like Min Seok who understood his urges and thirst for violence but still cared. The jealousy of Hyun So also can explain why he reacted and killed Min Seok. Min Seok was about to abandon him whilst trying to protect Hyun So who isn't like them. Min Seok wanted Hyun So to be like him, he waited for chances to see Hyun So will want to kill (waiting for his skills to ripe) but overall still cared and wanted to protect Hyun So even till the end. This would have triggered jealousy in Hee Sung who didn't want to go back to his environment and wanted to continue killing. He didn't want to feel controlled or judged by others, so he got rid of Min Seok and resented him for making him a murder. His longing for a father figure might have pushed him to the edge, once he felt there was no hope of ever being normal/sane, and he didn't want to be.

The stress

Again breaking down the other reason for why he was prone to follow Do Min Seok and found refuge under his mentoring and presence. He killed to relieve stress and tension. This could be relieving tension of the pressure on him to succeed in his studies or the anticipation of feeling suffocated that he must wear a mask to be seen as normal. (The crying and the unnatural act he put on when he was in front of the therapist.) Do Min Seok became the alternative to all that, and he developed an addiction to killing, a sort of release from it that he enjoyed and revelled in. He became so addicted to it, that when Min Seok tried to stop it, he lost it and ended his life. He resented being this way, but he also enjoyed doing the act. Do Min Seok represented a sort of freedom for him, one where he didn't have to pretend or hide, or feel forced to live up to expectations of others. So his reaction in killing Do Min Seok makes sense when you look at the variables, he's not just a cold-blooded killer, he had incentives and reasons for why he did so. But this brings the question: Nature vs Nurture.

The nature vs nurture

What made Baek Hee Sung a serial killer, was he born with it or was he made to become it. From how he reacts to his diagnosis/mostly when he fakes emotions, it's clear he was born with a disorder (psychopathic/sociopathic), his automatic reaction was to find something else to use as an excuse, and he himself refused to believe he was one, a psychopath. Two from everything we've analysed now, he's also made to become one, from meeting Do Min Seok and learning how to kill, to enjoying it, to wanting an escape from the environment he was from. Three the question, however, is if he hadn't met Do Min Seok would he be a killer. My answer is yes, it was only a matter of time before he found something else to latch on as an excuse for killing, so it's both, the environment he was nurtured in was toxic and would have made him search for ways to find release, but also with his money/ social reputation it would have made it easy for him to get away with his murders, but also he wanted to kill. He didn't feel any emotions in hurting people, so we can argue that he would have tried and hurt someone even without the help of Do Min Seok, as a reaction to something, when he felt threatened in the world, or he felt annoyed by someone, he would have ended up one way or another finding reason to kill. So Baek Hee Sung might be a victim of circumstance, but he isn't innocent.

#flower of evil #lee joon gi #kim ji hoon #kdrama #analysis #baek hee sung

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thelandsoflegend · 3 years

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Mother Lilac’s Death

Author’s note: This is written a few years after Kron and Silver’s bonding. Mother Lilac was Silver’s mentor and mother figure.

“Mother Lilac was a kind soul, never doing anything that couldn’t help at least one person,” Silver spoke, her voice soft and sad, filled to the brim with sorrow. The wolf who had raised her was dead, and not even the voices of the spirits whispering comfort into her mind could come close to healing her heart. Her death brought a hole in her heart, reopening a gap that had not been there since Kron was forced to leave her before they had been bonded. Just being present at an event that finalized her fate was hard, but having to speak about her so soon was proving to be more difficult than anything she had ever needed to do.

“Though her soul has left this earthly plane, she will not be forgotten, nor will she ever leave our hearts and minds,” the petite wolf finished, bowing her head in respect, reverence, and sadness, feeling small under the immense weight of grief that had been pushing down on her ever since Mother Lilac had passed away.

Silver looked behind her for the first time in her speech. Her usually stoic and cold mate was visibly showing sadness, something he publically only did once, at Gloic’s funeral. Just like every speech she gave, Kron was standing completely still with his hands crossed behind his back and eyes trained fully on her. But, this was not a usual speech. Kron’s eyes brimmed with tears and his jaw was clenched with effort, clearly trying to hold himself together. Not knowing what else to do about this rare occasion, Silver stepped back and wrapped her arms carefully around his neck, not caring that they were in public. He could lower his walls for a single moment and comfort her.

As Silver approached Kron, he knew somehow that today would be different. So, he allowed his precious mate to hold him, not holding her back, but lowering his head against her shoulder and closing his eyes, enough to show his mate she wasn’t alone in her great sadness.

The white Spirit Wolf took a deep breath before letting go, running her small paw against his forearm before going back to the podium to finish her speech and authorize the burial. As her mouth opened to continue the memorized words she had spent days writing, the wolf paused. Would this be how Mother Lilac wanted to be remembered? By a pre-written speech and grief? Silver shook her head, deciding to go off of the script instead.

“I had written a speech in her honor,” Silver began, looking around at the crowd, all of whom were here to express their sadness in Mother Lilac’s death and support of the Royal Family. They didn’t know she was changing how the memorium would be. “But, I think she would have wanted her life to be celebrated with joy, not ended with sadness.” The crowd murmured their agreement, but they still didn’t quite understand what was happening. “I am going to tell you all a story, dear citizens. One that I have told select few,” the kind Queen said, giving a sad smile, “About the most memorable thing Mother Lilac ever told me.”

--------

Around three hundred years ago, a prince and a healer fell in love. For a while, their relationship was going very well. They communicated about their feelings, they gave each other space when it was needed, but most of all, they supported each other. Their names were Kron and Silver.

As young wolves, the pair spend as much time with each other as possible, Kron brushing off his princely duties and Silver almost completely forgetting about her apprenticeship.

—

“My dear, what would I do without you?” Silver asked Kron, looking up at her loving wolf who was holding her in his large arms. The pair was sitting on a hill overlooking the main plaza, a popular place where young couples would go to spend time together. “You will never not have me,” Kron replied, nuzzling his nose into Silver’s neck and placing a kiss on her cheek before bringing her closer to him.

The wolves shouldn’t have been there. It was the middle of the night and both had plenty of things to do. Silver needed to be performing spirituals and Kron was needed at the palace to prepare for the upcoming festival, but neither cared. They only seemed to care about each other, and that was all they needed.

—

As their relationship grew, the couple became so engrossed in each other that Lord Gloic, the leader at the time, forbade Kron from seeing her, and without telling Silver or Lilac, Kron stopped seeing her altogether.

Silver, obviously distraught, vowed to never take him back, should he ever come back. She began pouring all her emotions into her work as Mother Lilac’s apprentice, trying to push her emotions away. Her Mother, however, would not accept this.

“You cannot please the Gods if you cannot first please yourself,” the older wolf said one day out of the blue. Silver looked up from her desk and set her quilt down, surprised.

“What do you mean, Mother? I am pleased with myself,” she replied, obviously confused. Mother Lilac shook her head.

“No, you are not happy with Kron and how he left you,” the Spirit Wolf said honestly, her voice gentle and soft. “And you have every right to be angry. But, you must not let this betrayal take over your mind. It is stopping you from being happy,” she said, a supportive smile on her kind face.

“The Gods want you to be happy with yourself in order to please them. If you cannot be your true self, for your own sake, how can they expect you to assist others to find their true selves in the Gods?” She asked, pulling another chair over to Silver’s desk to sit by her.

Silver was taken aback. Everything that Mother Lilac made sense, no matter how much she didn’t want it to. Not knowing what to say, the young apprentice nodded and lowered her head.

“Tell me what you feel,” Mother Lilac said, placing a loving hand against Silver’s cheek, a touch she leaned into. The young wolf took a deep breath and tried to suppress the emotions she felt brewing up inside her. But, Mother Lilac’s caring eyes and voice encouraged her to speak up.

“I thought we were real, and then he left. I can’t get over him,” she admitted, frowning to herself. “It’s just-,” she paused, taking a shaky breath, “I thought he was the one. We told each other everything, and then one day, nothing.” Mother Lilac nodded, an all-knowing smile on her face. “What?” Silver asked, seeing that her teacher knew something she didn’t.

“You told me once that he said, ‘You will never not have me,’ right?” The elderly wolf asked, though not expecting an answer. Still, Silver nodded. “Well, what do you think of this?”

Silver rolled her eyes, her true anger showing now. “It was obviously a lie,” she snapped, folding her arms over her chest. Mother Lilac shook her head.

“Had he ever lied to you?” She asked, keeping the same all-knowing look on her face as she spoke.

“Well, no, but that obviously was. If he wasn’t lying, he wouldn’t have left me!” She exclaimed angrily. Again, Mother Lilac shook her head.

“He will return,” she said. Then it was Silver’s turn to shake her head.

“If he does, I don’t want him back,” she huffed, turning her head away from Mother Lilac, appalled that she had even suggested such a thing. Still, she thought to herself about how she dreamed of having him return and for things to go back to the way they were. “Fine, but I wouldn’t allow him back right away,” she finally admitted. Now, Mother Lilac smiled.

“Good. You know yourself, and your worth. I wouldn’t expect anything different from such a talented young wolf,” she praised, standing up. “But, you know, he is still here,” she said. Silver cocked her head, clearly showing her confusion. To clarify, Mother Lilac placed a frail paw over Silver’s chest, right above her heart. “In your soul,” she finished before walking out of the room to attend to patients.

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“As you all know,” Silver spoke to the crowd, her voice a small amount happier, “Our story ends happily.” She gave a small smile to the grieving citizens. “But the moral of the story is not that everything works out, but that bad times will pass. This is a sad time for our kingdom, but we will overcome this time of grief by understanding that everything happens for a reason and that we must always find a way to make good out of it. Mother Lilac would not want us to spend this time in sadness of her passing, for she is not truly gone. She lives on in our hearts, in our minds, and most of all, our souls. Thank you and may the Gods give you happiness,” Silver finished, nodding her completion. The crowd clapped politely, as was to be expected. This was a solemn time.

At the completion of her speech, Silver nodded solemnly, relieved the event was over as she saw the crowd dissipate towards the final resting place of Mother Lilac to pay respects. She looked down at herself and the array of black cloth that adorned her body. Usually, Silver dressed herself in white or silver and she prided herself in the expression of her attitude to the world. But now that Mother Lilac, she could hardly stand wearing anything but the dreary color.

During her time of self reflection, she hadn’t noticed her mate appear at her side and offer his arm for her to hold, which she took with a silent thanks. Kron understood, and he knew not to press. This was a hard time for both of them, and both knew it was not the time for condolences.

As the Royal Couple walked off of the make-shift stage that was put up for Mother Lilac’s funeral, the citizens watched a rare moment. The usually stoic King’s eyes could be seen crying, and he did not wipe the offending tears away. Instead, he kept a steady pace alongside his mate, who was also letting tears fall. The King lifted a strong arm around her shoulder and laid his hand against the black cloth on the Queen’s shoulder, covering her crying face from the public.

Once out of the public’s prying eyes, Silver choked out a sob, falling into Kron’s willing arms. Immediately, Kron pulled her against him, holding her as tight as he could without breaking her. Silver’s small body was hidden to the world by Kron’s strong arms and she felt herself rock from the aggressive and convulsive sobs that racked her body even as Kron tried to lessen them. It was hard to hold himself together as he felt and heard the immense grief his usually happy and positive mate felt, but Silver was always there for him, so Kron pushed through his own sadness to comfort her. He did not feel emotions as clearly and as deeply as Silver, but he could understand her pain and speak from that understanding. “All will be well, mate,” he said softly, his deep voice soothing to Silver’s ears. In a reversal of roles, Silver found herself holding onto Kron’s thick neck fur for comfort, an action Kron willingly allowed. Though Silver didn’t feel confident enough in her voice’s ability to speak, she knew Kron didn’t need a reply. He understood her silence, and was always ready to be a part of it.

After a long moment of silence except for Silver’s sobs, the tears slowed and both came out of their grief filled trance to realize they were alone. Neither knew how much time had passed, but it didn’t matter. Nothing more was needed to be done that night, so they would be left alone. Hearing the outward sadness lessen, Kron slowly removed his arms from around Silver’s waist, instead moving them cautiously up to cup her face, kissing her forehead comfortingly as she had done so many times when he needed it. “Let us rest and let the hardship of this day pass,” he said carefully, letting Silver’s still sad face go and instead bringing her close to his side, supporting her stride as they made their way back to the castle, wary of the straggling citizen.

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Once inside their castle wing, a heavy silence stayed in the corridors, something that rarely happened, but this was no ordinary morning. Both Kron and Silver had prepared for rest and they were now laying in bed, taking comfort in each other’s presence and wallowing in their own silence.

It had been awhile since their last silent morning, which were usually filled with laughter, chatter, and the occasionally pleasure filled time. Breaking the silence, Kron cleared his throat and lifted a strong paw to rest around Silver’s body, bringing her to lay against his muscular and heavily furred chest. He could feel his mate’s hesitation clearly through their bond, something they had promised not to close off a long time ago. This wasn’t normally what happened and Silver felt an illogical discontent with accepting comfort, even if she was desperately needing it. Despite her words prompting happiness and good feeling, they both knew she would not reach that goal for many moons.

“Allow me to help you, my love,” Kron spoke through their bond, touching her small forehead with his own and closing his eyes, letting out a tired sigh. Silver took this sigh as annoyance and began to move away only to be stopped by Kron’s strong arms still around her. “Be still and rest,” Kron whispered softly into her mind, helping her calm down and settle back into his arms.

“I worry. What if I don’t live up to her legacy in the Spirit’s eyes?” She asked through their bond, snuggling into Kron’s furry chest, holding her arms to her chest. It was a great worry that she wouldn’t live up to Mother Lilac’s expectations, and now that she was gone, she wondered if she would be able to follow in her successor’s footsteps.

“The Spirits will guide you into what your best self is. This is their legacy for you,” Kron said comfortingly, cardding his paw through Silver’s neck fur, exploring with his hands. It hurt him to hear his beloved mate speak in such a manner, but he could fully understand her apprehension. He himself often questioned if he was following the God’s plan for him. But whenever he felt this way, Silver was always quick to change his viewpoint and allow him to ask for help from the Gods, asking what they expected of him in his ruling.

Kron felt a relieved sigh come from Silver at his mental words and he allowed his eyes to finally close, knowing he would drift into sleep as soon as his mate did, a ritual his body followed every morning. The thought that passed his mind was a fear for the future and what this hardship would mean for his kingdom.

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forevermyalwaysphff · 5 years

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Chapter 3

A/N: I want to say thank you for all the kind messages you guys have sent in to me! You have no idea how much that means to me. I cannot wait to share this next chapter with you. It is quite long so please enjoy💙

Alexa was sitting in on another tedious board meeting at Guardian. She loved her job, but she despised these meetings where she would have to sit and listen to others complain instead of come up with their own solutions. It was the only part of her job that she could do without.

Sharing eye contact with her boss, Grace, she could tell that this man was easily getting on her nerves with each spoken word. Alexa raised a suggestive eyebrow before glancing away knowing that in a matter of seconds Grace would tell him to stop talking and move on.

“I don’t think those are relevant issues for the time being, Carl.” Grace leaned back in her chair at the head of the table in the conference room. They moved on from his concern and talked about the new resources that would be available to them as they reviewed budgets and costs making Alexa’s mind drift onto something else, rather someone else.

Feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket, Alexa pulled it out halfway to see a couple of texts that Harry had sent her. It had been a few days since their last encounter at Kensington Palace where she tried to give the prince a wrong number, but failed in her attempts to do so.

She attempted to hide the smile that was growing on her lips as she read the messages from the prince. Alexa messaged Harry for the first time last night, mustering enough courage to take a leap and they nearly talked throughout the whole evening into the night until she was forced to hang up and go to sleep. The conversation with Harry was so easy with him, flowing like they never missed a beat. Never once was there an awkward silence they just kept talking and talking.

This morning when she had woken up she reached for her phone and saw a message from the prince saying ‘good morning beautiful x have a good day at work’ which immediately made her smile and feel that sense of giddiness course through her. Throughout the whole morning she simply could not stop smiling, which of course was not unusual for Alexa, but it was a different smile that lingered on her lips.

Alexa had walked into the conference room with her colleague and friend, Mya, who made sure Alexa knew she noticed her giddy happy expression that was plastered all over her face. “What’s gotten into you today, Lexi?” Mya had whispered into her ear before they took their chairs beside one another. Before Alexa could come up with a reply her boss had started the meeting, saving Alexa from having to explain.

‘How is the meeting? I hope it’s better than mine.’ Harry asked her through text. He had told Alexa that he had to attend a series of meetings with his charity Sentebale while he was in London briefly and was not entirely looking forward to it.

‘I never understood why I must be involved with them honestly. My job has nothing to do with this and it’s not like I can even just nod off.’ She replied and turned her attention back to one of her colleagues that was speaking, pretending to be attentive but her mind was clouded with thoughts of those mesmerizing blue eyes. Alexa shook her head free from her day dreaming of the prince and tried to focus back into the meeting.

‘I’m alright with it. Since I get your attention.’ Harry flirted back, unaware how distracting he really was to Alexa. But, she would be dammed if Alexa admitted that to Harry.

Mya leaned in beside Alexa and whispered, “No need to answer my question, I think I know a certain someone is surely making you smile like that.” Her friend giggled lightly seeing the faint appearance of blush forming on Alexa’s cheeks in combination with the same undeniable smile that stretched her lips.

Trying to still look engaged in the meeting while answering his texts proved to be more difficult than Alexa thought. Alexa looked up from reading the message and locked eyes with Grace’s raised eyebrow knowing that she had caught her on her phone. Pushing the phone back into her pocket she smiled apologetically to which Grace simply shook her head knowing that this was a rare occurrence with Alexa and that something was up with her.

“We do have a larger matter to discuss and this must be kept within the walls of this room for the time being.” Grace glanced around the room seeing everyone nod in understanding. “We have a special visitor coming next week…” A proud smile grew on her lips happy to make this announcement to her colleagues that have worked tremendously hard to make Guardian what it is today.

“The Duchess of Cambridge will be coming to visit Guardian, an event that is embargoed due to the delicate and sensitive nature of the population we work with.” Gasps of shock and surprise filled the room as the whispers grew in return.

Alexa’s body nearly froze. The Duchess of Cambridge, as in… Harry’s sister in law? Her mind started to go off wondering if Harry had anything to do with the visit. Drifting off into the background, Alexa became trapped in her mind, unaware of her surroundings as the whispers around her grew into full conversations of excitement at the news.

“Alexa?” She heard Grace’s voice disrupting her worried thoughts that were going off on a tangent. Alexa lifted her head and locked in Grace’s intense stare knowing she had missed a vital piece of information.

“Yes?” Alexa was unsure if Grace asked her a question. Everyone in the room had become silent while turning their attention to the young blonde.

“I want you to be the one to show the Duchess of Cambridge around next week. You work closely with all departments, including our clients and would give a great overview of our program here.” Grace did not exactly give Alexa the option to say no.

“Don’t you think someone with more experience here would be better to?” Alexa immediately wanted someone else to do the tour.

Grace started to pick up the stray pieces of paper and compile them together. “Alexa, you were an intern here throughout university and now a full time social worker for the past four years.” She looked Alexa straight in the eye with an unwavering intense stare. “I want you to do it.” There was absolutely no way she was getting out of this one with Grace.

“That’s it for today, everyone! Thank you for a great meeting!” Grace pushed her chair away and started to pack her things up. Grace was a fair and honest boss that motivated people to do their job to the best of their ability. She often led through examples of her own hard work and the immense effort she put into that work made people want to do their best around her. Every choice she made was a deliberate one that she thought of all angles of possibilities before fully making her decision.

Alexa waited for everyone to leave before approaching her boss that remained seated already waiting to hear Alexa’s protest she had been ready for. “Alexa, I can already tell you that I have made up my mind so no need in trying to convince me otherwise.” Grace continued to put papers into her brief case.

“I just have one question for you…” Alexa approached Grace, hugging her notebook against her chest.

“I’m listening.” Grace stopped packing up and stood up to rest her arm on the back of her chair giving Alexa her full-undivided attention.

“Did you ask me to accompany the Duchess of Cambridge because of who I am –”

“Friends with?” Grace interrupted Alexa to finish the question that she had perceived her to ask. “No, Alexa. It’s not because you are connected through Princess Eugenie. It’s because you are damn good at your job, but most of all everyone can see your passion to help these people and I want the Duchess to feel that coming from you.” Grace’s sincerity in her words was matched in her facial expression. “I know you will do an amazing job and that I can trust you with this.”

Alexa released a calming breath with a soft smile simply knowing Grace was not using her relationship with Eugenie to influence her decision. “Thank you, Grace. You have always been such a great mentor to me.” The blonde was always grateful for the guidance Grace had often given her in this job. Her door was always open for Alexa whenever she needed it.

Alexa had met Grace the summer after her first year of university. She had returned from the city of Bath where she was taking her course in social work and was looking for a place to intern a few times a week to really figure out if the social work career was what she wanted to pursue. Grace’s boss had hired Alexa and the two of them then worked directly together throughout her university course.

When Alexa graduated, she tried to pursue different job opportunities, but Guardian felt like it was home to her. But, most of all Alexa knew this was where she would really be making a difference daily in people’s lives. So when Grace offered her a job, she took it without a second thought.

“Now you better get back to who ever was occupying your attention during my meeting.” Grace winked at Alexa causing her cheeks to become flushed at the embarrassment. If only Grace knew who it was she would have a field day with it.

“Yes, ma’am.” Alexa walked through the glass door while her heels clicked along the marble flooring, finding her way back to her office only to see a little boy swivelling in her office chair in circles.

“Eddie!” Alexa called his name and he stopped dead in his tracks being caught red handed. “You must be the new social worker deputy Grace hired!” Alexa smiled teasingly. “She must have forgotten to tell me that I would be so lucky to share my office with you this morning.” Eddie wiggled out of the chair and came running towards Alexa, crashing into her legs while he hugged them securely. The typical greeting she received from the young child.

“Mommy’s talking to the oooold doctor and I wanted to come say hi! It is so boring waiting in Dr. Fin’s play room with the crying babies.” Eddie huffed out a heavy breath. “All they do is cry Alexa, all… the… time.” The young boy exaggerated so adorably, Alexa could not help but release a light giggle at his expense.”

Eddie and his mother had been coming to Guardian and accessing their services for quite some time. His mother would start to get back on track and then her on and off again boyfriend would come back into the picture and would all end with her going to the hospital for physical injuries. This time, his mother was making strides in her progress and would often come in to speak with psychologists on top of working with Alexa to move Eddie and herself into an affordable living arrangement and getting her assistance in applying for university courses and employment opportunities. Eddie would always come in and hang out with Alexa instead of staying at the drop in child services they offered for parents. He definitely liked the attention he would receive from Alexa and always came up with an excuse to come see her.

“You know I could use your help!” The small boy looked up at Alexa with wonder. “I need someone to decorate my office with a few paintings. Think you could draw something for me?” The excitement that danced in his eyes was the exact reason why she loved working with the families, especially the little children knowing she was helping to make a difference in their lives and their future.

“Yes! I can draw you a biiiig dinosaur for you!” Eddie hopped his way over to the chair across from Alexa’s desk as she pulled out a stash of markers and papers for him to color while she finished up some work.

Alexa was reading through some documents, sifting through a mound of paperwork when her phone started to ring. Reaching for it blindly she picked it up without even seeing who it was and answered it.

“Hello, it’s Alexa. How can I help you?” Alexa narrowed her eyes at some paperwork trying to understand the legal jargon of it all.

“Oh you can definitely help me out.” Harry’s flirtatious laugh resonated on the other line.

“Oh, hi!” Alexa put the papers down and sat back into her office chair. “What are you doing calling me at work?”

“Distracting you. I also had a few minutes and wanted to ask you about Saturday.” His husky deep voice swooned through the phone.

“Alexa, look!” Eddie picked up his drawing of a very gifted dinosaur with wings, a long neck and t-rex looking arms. “Do you think this will be good?” He smiled proudly at his work.

“Unless I am interrupting something?” Harry giggled having heard the little boy talking.

“Just give me a second…” Alexa smiled hearing his laughter ring out. “Eddie that is perfect, but I need more than one of them!” She handed the little boy another piece of paper to keep him distracted so she could talk to Harry.

“Sorry, Harry. I uh have a little guest with me in my office for a little longer.” Alexa informed the prince while carefully watching Eddie draw. “You were asking about Saturday?”

“Yeah.” Harry breathed out. “I don’t want to rush you, but are you thinking of coming?”

Alexa took a few silent moments to think of her reply. She seemed to have a good time with Harry and he specifically told her that it was not a date, just friends hanging out so what was the worry about it all? Why could they not hang out as friends and have a good time together?

“Yeah, I’ll come.” Alexa pictured Harry’s smile in her mind. “Is it alright if you pick me up though? I don’t know where it is, I haven’t been there before.”

“Really? Even with Eugenie?” Harry was a bit taken back, knowing it was a frequent place for royals and aristos to enjoy a polo game. “Of course, yes I can. I have to be there a little early to prep for the game, but why don’t I swing by and pick you up at two thirty?” Harry asked, hoping she would be ok with being there early.

“That works for me!” Alexa desperately wanted to ask Harry about his sister in laws visit next week, but found it best to leave it until Saturday. “What are you doing right now?” A curious Alexa asked.

“I finished those terrible meetings and now on my way to an engagement with Help for Heroes.” Harry released an exacerbated sigh at his hectic schedule.

“You seem tired?” She hinted while logging onto her work email to see the piles of unread messages waiting for her to respond.

“A bit, yeah. I will be fine though.” He chuckled lightly. “Just a lot of back and forth with flying and then coming back to London. Looking forward to the weekend and relaxing and seeing you of course.” Harry flirted with Alexa causing a small blushing of her cheeks to appear.

“I am looking forward to seeing you too, Harry.” Alexa softly spoke with a beaming smile. “Well, I need to finish up these papers today, so I should get going.” Alexa could hardly focus on doing her work while listening to the prince’s deep husky voice. “But, I will see you in a few days.”

“Alright, gorgeous. Don’t work that pretty little head too hard now.” His voice grew soft.

“You can tell my boss that, Harry. I am sure she would like that to hear that.” Alexa teased back in return. “Have fun at your engagement.”

“I will! Don’t forget to google me later.” The prince tossed his head back in laughter knowing that comment would get under her skin.

“Harry…” She drew out his name. “You know I have never done that before. Haven’t we gone over this?” Alexa huffed out a breath ending with a light giggle.

“I am only teasing.” Alexa could hear muffled screams in the background seeming that the prince had arrived at his location. “I have to run. Will chat later.”

“Bye, Harry.” Alexa hung up the phone and watched Eddie scribble on the paper.

“Who is Harry?” Eddie was concentrating hard on his drawing while sticking out his tongue.

“That little man.” Alexa tossed him a candy in hopes of redirecting his questions from Harry. “Is none of your little business.”

Alexa peered out her bedroom window through the break in the blinds watching the dark clouds from the distance come closer and closer covering what little sun was left for the day. Looking down at the third outfit she had tried on that afternoon, she opted to try one more option just in case the typical English weather did not cooperate.

Alexa shifted through her closet, coming up with no such luck until she found a black sweater and dark jeans that would go perfect with a bomber style rain jacket. Taking one last look at her outfit in the mirror she nodded happily deciding that this was the one. Glancing down at her watch, she only had thirty minutes before Harry would be picking her up.

‘Here. Want me to come up?’ Alexa’s phone alerted her to Harry’s message.

‘No. Roommate is here, will come down in a minute.’ She thought it was best if Alice was not fully aware that Alexa was going to hang out with Harry today. To be honest, she did not want the bombardment of questions when Alexa was already nervous about the whole thing, even though it was not technically a date.

Pulling on her leather-heeled boots she was lathered in goodbye kisses from Peanut. “You are going to stay here with Alice and you better be nice to her.” Alexa scolded Peanut again for nipping at Alice earlier that morning. Peanut was quite choosy in whom she liked and that so far was only Alexa.

“Have fun with Harry!” Alice hollered from inside her room making Alexa stand up quickly at the mention of Harry’s name wondering how on earth her friend figured that out. “Don’t even ask, I can see his vehicle from my window! Make sure you are home by midnight.” There was no hope in hiding it from Alice; she was bound to find out eventually.

“Nothing gets past that woman.” Alexa muttered under her breath. “I already fed Peanut, don’t let her beg you for more food!” Alexa closed the door and hastily walked down the stairs, excited to see Harry again.

Alexa exited the building and looked for the black SUV parked outside along the street. Seeing it a few meters down the road she walked straight for it and opened the door to reveal a smiling Harry happy to see her.

“Hey!” He beamed at Alexa as she got comfy in the back seat beside him and shut the door quickly to block off the cool wind.

“Sorry, I had to feed my dog quick.” She apologized for making him wait.

“Your dog?” Harry asked while watching Alexa put on her seat belt, hearing it click into place as the driver took off.

“Uh, ya I have a little yorkie terrier.” She confessed and looked up at the prince’s eyes grow wide with shock.

“Like one of those yappy little dogs?” He talked with his hands and showed the displeasure on his face.

“She is not yappy, she hardly even barks.” Alexa shook her head at the prince’s reaction adding in an exaggerated eye roll for him. “I adopt animals that are near their end of life from the humane society or local rescues and give them a home until they pass away. Peanut is 13 years old and she is a sweetheart and deserves a loving home in her final months.”

Harry had grown quiet beside Alexa being somewhat surprised that she does this for animals. “That’s quite amazing.” He found himself surprised and also inspired by this woman again. Alexa was always keeping Harry on his toes just when he thought he had her figured out, she tossed him a curve ball and showed Harry another side to her. “What made you want to get into that? I mean it must be hard seeing them pass away all the time.”

Alexa’s green eyes peaked up at the prince, holding in his gaze. “It is hard sometimes. But, then they aren’t stuck in a shelter for their final months of their life and if I can giving them a loving comfortable home, then why not?.” She caught herself staring right into his blue eyes being unable to look away from them as they pulled her in stronger into their depths. “My parents started doing it when I was a child and they still do, but I wanted to do my part in it.”

“Do they live in London?” A curious Harry questioned her wanting to learn everything about her life and what made her the woman she was sitting beside him today.

“Just outside of London. They still live in the house I grew up in so it’s always good to go back home you know? Get out of the city for a bit.” Alexa’s head was angled down, but Harry could still see the way her face lit up when she talked about home. Harry’s hand found a place on her knee and gave it a little squeeze gaining her attention back up at him. The way he was looking at Alexa made her heart skip a beat as her mind became foggy, losing herself again in the depths of those deep blue eyes. They were dangerously mesmerizing and drew her in like nothing before. The silent gaze they shared spoke even more than their conversations they held.

Alexa cuddled into his warmth and rested her hand above Harry’s as he stared out the window watching the countryside they passed by. The two of them fell into a comfortable silence in that back seat simply enjoying the other’s company. Harry felt Alexa’s head rest down on his shoulder that made a smile creep up on his lips.

“Comfy?” He checked in on Alexa loving how comfortable she felt around him, comfortable enough to rest her head on his shoulder.

“I am.” Alexa’s soft voice spoke in a quiet whisper careful not to disrupt their state of calm. “I don’t know how you make me this comfortable with you. It scares me a little that I am, you know?”

“Yeah I do in a way, but I’m glad you feel that way. I want you to be comfortable around me.” Harry’s thumb dug into the side of her jeans on her knee as he smoothed it over. “It’s important to me that you do.” The smile that crept up on his lips matched his sincerity laced in his words.

“Looks like it might rain.” Alexa stared past him into the window as they had almost approached their destination wanting to change the subject and well needing a break from those blue eyes that took her breath away.

“Could be for an interesting game if it does.” He giggled and ended with a sigh. “Have you met the Tomlinson’s at all?” Harry spoke of his long time family friends.

Alexa shook her head. “No, I haven’t.”

“Well, it’s their polo club. They know Zara quite well too.” Harry assured her. “She was happy to hear that you were coming, most of the time it’s just the guys that show up for these pre-season games.”

“I absolutely love Zara, she’s so much fun to be around.” Alexa admitted to Harry. “I met her at a party a few years back and we just seemed to really enjoy each other. Each time we get to hang out, we always wish we would do it more often.”

“I can see how you two would get along well.” Harry commented and made Alexa angle her body towards Harry with a raised eyebrow. The prince started to back pedal. “All I mean is that you two are quite sassy is all.” Her eyes narrowed at the prince. “Oh come on!” He rolled his eyes at Alexa. “You know you are, do not deny it!”

Alexa started to fall into a fit of giggles seeing the prince scramble amusingly. “I know I am.” She tried to stifle her laughter at Harry’s expense. “I just wanted to see you squirm.”

Their vehicle had pulled into the private parking lot where Harry could already see the Tomlinson’s getting ready for the game. Today was a private pre-game with limited access so Harry felt comfortable bringing Alexa here as there would be no prying eyes watching them that also allowed them to spend a bit more time together.

Alexa climbed out of the back seat and rounded the vehicle as Harry waited for her with a soft smile. Zipping up her jacket to shield her from the wind, Alexa felt the cool wind chill her as she walked beside the prince. Harry’s concerned face glanced down at Alexa and was about to ask her a question when he heard his name being called from a familiar voice.

“Harry!” The prince lifted his head to see his good friend, Luke Tomlinson, walking towards them that turned into a full on jog.

“Hey mate!” Luke pulled the prince into a friendly hug as Alexa stood back watching their interaction quietly. “Glad to finally see you again!” He patted Harry’s back before eying the blonde woman standing behind him patiently waiting to be introduced.

Breaking apart from the hug, his eyes remained glued to Alexa. “And who is this gorgeous woman you found, Harry?” Alexa immediately blushed at the compliment and looked towards Harry for the introduction.

“Luke, this is Alexa.” Harry gazed down at Alexa with his soft eyes and offered a tiny nod that indicated that his friend was ok to know about them.

Luke extended his hand to greet Alexa, but she opened her arms for a hug. “Sorry Luke, I am a hugger.” Alexa pulled him into a warm hug as Harry smiled at their interaction.

“I am completely ok with that.” Luke turned his head and winked at the prince to which Harry gave Luke a side eyed glare, warning him to back off Alexa.

“Ok, that’s enough.” Harry saw Alexa trying to break away, but Luke held her tighter with a squeeze, making her giggle at his action.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Alexa smiled out of the hug and then turned her attention to Harry displaying a disapproving glance towards his friend.

The group started to walk towards the player’s tent as Alexa learned more about Luke and Harry’s relationship. Every now and then she would glance up at Harry and see a small smile on his lips as they listened to Luke talk and talk.

“Have you ever played polo?” Luke turned his eyes towards Alexa and caught her staring up at Harry adoringly.

“Uh, no.” She looked down to the ground ahead of her. “I have never even ridden a horse before actually.” Alexa confessed quietly, feeling a bit ashamed that she had hardly been around them and was now finding herself chatting to England’s Polo Captain.

“Really?” Harry looked up ahead to see Zara before locking eyes with Alexa.

“Yes.” She giggled nervously and tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear. “Is it that hard to believe?” Alexa’s green eyes drew him in. “Are you making assumptions of me, Harry?” Those green eyes sparked so many questions within him.

Luke suddenly started walking faster ahead of them. “I gotta run! I will catch up with you two later!” He waved back at them, leaving them alone again.

“No. I have learned not to make assumptions when it comes to you. You always catch me a little off guard, just when I think I have got you all figured out you surprise me again.” The prince breathed out, taking a moment. “I could teach you how to ride. It’s not that difficult.” His lips spread into a smile watching the excitement grow in her eyes. “I have the perfect little pony for you in mind.” He could not contain his laughter at the thought.

“Really? You would do that?” Alexa’s excitement was contagious. “Wait, what?” Her head snapped up realizing what he said to her. “Little?” She crossed her arms with a pouty lip. “I am not little, Harry. I don’t need a little pony.”

Harry bellowed a deep laughter and Alexa’s adorable scrunched up nose and pouty bottom lip. “Oh, love. I hate to tell you, but you are little…” Her green eyes narrowed into a glare that warned him to choose his next works carefully. “Little and adorable.” He back peddled hard, but Alexa could not hold that glare any longer as she belted out a laugh at his expense.

“Sorry.” Alexa fell into a fit of giggles becoming breathless as Harry shook his head and waited for her to finish.

“You done?” He raised an eyebrow teasingly at Alexa that only made her continue to laugh.

“Uh huh.” She breathed out and sighed while catching her breath. Harry stood there watching her, simply being happy to be next to her.

He relished in how comfortable he was finding himself in Alexa’s presence, which did not always come easy to the prince. There was something about her that pulled Harry towards her, made him want to learn more of who she was and where she came from. Then there was her obvious beauty with the deepest green eyes he had ever bore witness to. But, most of all she made him forget that he was a prince. Alexa made him feel that he could be himself around her, not the prince the world viewed him as, and that was enough for her.

“Alexa! Harry!” Zara’s voice broke through his thoughts, hearing her call from their names a distance away.

“Oh, there’s Zara!” Alexa started to wave happily back.

“Perfect timing actually. Is it alright if you hang out with her while I play?” Harry wanted to check in with Alexa to make sure that she would be comfortable on her own.

“Yeah, that’s fine Harry.” Alexa’s lips formed a smile. “I don’t mind at all.”

Zara approached the two of them and welcomed them with warm friendly hugs, excited to see that they had come together. She was a bit skeptical when Harry asked Zara if she would be coming to watch the polo game and if Alexa would be able to sit with her while the prince played. He of course denied any thought of hers that this was a date and said he only wanted to spend time with Alexa, but had limited availability and thought it best to bring her.

“Is it alright if I steal Alexa from you? I see the guys already getting set for the game.” Zara grabbed a hold of Alexa’s arm and rubbed it up and down while staring up at her taller little cousin not entirely thrilled that she was whisking Alexa away from him.

“Ya, that’s fine.” Harry nodded lightly, but kept a careful eye on Alexa. “Be nice to her.” His blue eyes bore into Zara indicating to her not to harass Alexa with a bombardment of questions about them.

“I love Alexa.” Zara stifled a giggle. “Probably more than you do.” She snuck in her chance to tease Harry and offered him a playful wink as he groaned loudly.

Alexa bit down on her bottom lip nervously, pretending not to hear what Zara had said. “Well, good luck Harry.” His blue eyes turned to lock in her gaze as a smile grew on his lips.

“Thank you, Alexa. I better get ready.” Harry started to walk away from Zara and Alexa. He glanced back over his shoulder to see Zara pulling Alexa towards the cheering section, but her head turned and saw the prince staring back at her for one last glance. Alexa smiled and gave him a cute little wave goodbye.

Zara stood beside Alexa giggling as she watched how in to the polo game Alexa had gotten. She was nearly on the edge of suspense as Harry raced down the field beside Luke. Harry hit the ball with his mallet and scored making Alexa cheer him on.

“YES! Woooo!” Alexa hollered loudly cupping her hands around her mouth. Zara started to giggle louder next to Alexa making her aware of Zara staring at her.

“He does look pretty good in that polo uniform, doesn’t he?” Zara leaned in towards Alexa who subconsciously nodded her head until she realized what she had done and completely froze being caught in the act.

“I mean… no.” Alexa tried to explain herself but gave up. “You should not be saying that about your cousin.” She turned the tables on Zara.

“Girl! I only said it to see your reaction.” Zara nudged her lightly seeing the blonde woman become embarrassed. “And clearly… you like the view.”

“Have you two gone out yet?” Zara had finally gotten Alexa alone after Harry nearly spent every second with her until the game started. It was as if her cousin did not want to leave Alexa alone with Zara. But, now it was her time to delve into Alexa’s thoughts and get the real scoop on the story between the two of them.

“No, we are just… friends.” Alexa did not sound too confident in that answer. Being unsure herself of what exactly was going on between them.

“Is that what you want to be with him?” Zara wanted to bombard Alexa with questions, but she could clearly see the woman needed more of a friend in that moment than anything.

The second Zara asked Alexa that question, Alexa’s eyes darted towards Zara and stared deeply into her eyes. “I don’t know, honestly. For now it’s best.” She confessed to Zara with a light laugh.

“Alexa, do you like Harry?” Zara was cutting straight to the point. Alexa looked away from Zara for a brief moment as her eyes landed on Harry who waved once he gained Alexa’s attention. Her lips stretched into a smile and waved back in response feeling a giddiness course through her.

“It’s a simple question.” Zara continued to push for an answer.

“Yes.” Alexa shyly answered making Zara squeal in excitement.

“Yes, I knew it!” Zara started doing a little happy dance while Alexa rolled her eyes. “No, but seriously. You two are perfect for each other.”

Alexa crossed her arms. “Don’t get ahead of yourself and start planning a wedding. I don’t even think he likes me and I can’t rush things this time again.”

Zara’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Alexa.” She stared the blonde down until Alexa had to look at her. “Really? I will let you in on a little secret. He wants you soo bad girl!” I mean have you seen how he looks at you? Girl, I know you are not blind but come on. He’s like a little puppy following a tasty bone and you are the tasty bone!” Zara could not believe that Alexa was even questioning it.

Her green eyes scanned the field to find the prince riding on his horse again. Releasing a deep sigh, Alexa could only hope that Zara’s comment was true. Lately, Harry had consumed all the thoughts in her mind. His blue eyes had burned an unforgettable memory that she thought of on the daily.

But, there was a fear growing inside of her for the feelings she was starting to develop for the ginger haired prince and whether or not they were reciprocated.

“Hey.” Harry approached Alexa and Zara as the game ended.

“Congrats on the win cousin!” Zara leaned in and gave him a hug. “I better get going though. Mike and I are going on a date tonight.” His cousin looked back and winked at Alexa as Harry watched their exchange.

“Thanks for hanging out with Alexa.” Harry thanked his cousin as Zara left grinning back at the two of them.

“Hey you.” Harry’s attention was now fully on Alexa. “How did you enjoy the game?”

“It was good. I had a lot of fun with Zara and uh watching you.” Alexa smiled up at Harry flashing her flirtatious green eyes, wondering if what Zara had said was true. Did Harry really fancy her?

“I could hear you cheering for me.” The prince laughed seeing the embarrassment present itself on her face. “No, don’t be embarrassed. It was nice having someone cheer me on.” He reassured the blonde woman.

“Well you did good!” Alexa admitted. “Even though I didn’t fully understand the rules at times and cheered a few times for the other team I think…” Harry tried to contain his laughter having remembered hearing Alexa cheer for the opposite team a couple of times. But, it was too adorable to be upset about it.

Their conversation turned silent, as they were both content on just staring into each other’s eyes. It was more of a comfortable quiet that surrounded them and as they looked towards the horses being led back in to the stables. The prince looked down at Alexa staring straight ahead, but it was not long before she caught him staring. Her gaze lingered on the prince as if she was silently looking for an answer from him.

It was in that moment that Harry knew he did not want this day to end. He wanted to guarantee being able to see Alexa again. Throughout his polo game, he found himself distracted by her and constantly looking for her presence. Opening his mouth to speak, Harry was about to ask Alexa right there when all of a sudden a loud crack sounded making the pair look up to the sky. Dark grey clouds covered them followed by a sheet of rain pouring down upon them hard.

Alexa gasped at the sudden onset of the cool rain that drenched her clothes. She felt a hand grasp hers tightly. Alexa looked down to see her hand clasped together with Harry’s as the prince held a firm grip onto it sending a sensation up towards her pounding heart at the contact. “Let’s get out of this rain.” His deep voice yelled over the sound of the rain hitting the pavement in a ferocious and sudden down pour that was soaking Alexa through her clothes. Tugging on Alexa’s hand she started to run beside the prince, never letting go of his hand as Harry led her inside the stables.

Within that short jog inside, they both had become completely soaked and cold from the sudden down pour. Alexa dissolved into a fit of giggles at the situation they found themselves in. Hearing her laugh brought a smile on Harry’s lips despite how wet and freezing he found himself. Alexa’s infectious laugh caused the prince to join in with her.

“What was that?!” Her laughter subsided and was replaced with a shivering of her lips, feeling the combination of the wind and rain chill her. “I am so cold now.” Alexa’s hands rubbed over the wet wooly fabric of her sweater.

Harry stepped in closer towards Alexa and wrapped his arms around the blonde. “I’ll keep you warm.” He shielded Alexa with his body as she comfortably cozied into him.

“Thank you.” Alexa’s lips chattered while her arms rested on Harry’s chest feeling the warmth of his body surround her being.

Strays of her wet blonde hair were everywhere making the prince unable to see her green eyes as Alexa looked up at him with an adoring smile. Harry brushed a few pieces of her hair out of her eyes and tucked a stray piece behind her ear to get a beet look at them. Alexa could feel the warmth of his hands radiated against the flesh of her cheek.

She had to look away from him, not knowing if she would be able to look at those blue eyes and not fall for Harry in that moment. Alexa took in a few relaxing breaths hoping that the pounding in her chest would subside.

Harry could sense Alexa’s hesitation. She was breathing hard as her chest rose and fell in a steady but rapid manner. Her warm breath breezed across his neck sending chills down his spine. He so desperately wanted to look into those green eyes of Alexa’s and get lost in them, but she hid them from the prince on purpose.

Everything in that moment made Harry want to ask her to go on a date with him. Everything in his being told him that this was the right moment to do so. So, he did.

“Alexa?” He coaxed her green eyes to stare up at him.

The rain fell down around them providing a steady calming music in the background. Their bodies were flushed against one another, holding the other in their arms trying to keep them warm at the entrance of the stables waiting for the down pour to pass. Alexa was gazing up at Harry waiting for him to continue.

“I want to take you out on a date.” Harry did not waste another second in asking Alexa in fear of losing the gathered courage he had sourced from within him.

Her lips parted slightly in surprise while she attempted to formulate her answer. The way Harry was looking at her with those deep blue eyes melted not only her heart, but also her mind making it more difficult to even say yes.

“Will you go out with me on a date, Alexa?” Harry hung onto every second as he watched her eyes searching for something within his own. She wanted to take things slow and this was doing the complete opposite of what she had asked him to do.

Everything within her was telling her to take a chance, to jump right in and explore where this was leading with Harry. But, there was a little voice inside of her mind that reminded her of what happened the last time as the memory of the pain came flooding back. As Alexa searched deep into those deep blues she found that little voice fade and disappear. She had to take a leap of faith again. No matter if it ended in another heartbreak, Alexa had to explore this spark of chemistry she had with Harry, this undeniable connection between them that anyone around them could palpate.

“Yes, Harry.” Alexa could not help but smile happily. “I want to go on a date with you.” Seeing the joy dance across Harry’s face further confirmed what Zara had said earlier was true.

Harry cupped her cheek and tenderly smoothed it over with his thumb, leaving a trail of warm flesh in its wake. “I knew you were going to say yes.” He continued staring into her eyes.

“Is that so?” Alexa angled her head into Harry’s touch while staring up fondly into his blue eyes, this time never wanting to look away from them. “I guess you are a winner today in more ways than one.” She released a giggle that quickly faded once she saw Harry leaning in to kiss her.

Harry looked at those succulent lips of Alexa’s and so desperately wanted to devour their taste. Closing his eyes, he leaned in further only to have a finger press against them instead of Alexa’s lips. He opened his eyes to find himself inches away from Alexa who was staring at him with desire circling in her eyes, fighting the internal urges within her to kiss the prince.

Alexa gently pushed his lips away with a mischievous smirk. “You cannot kiss me yet.” Her finger left his lips and ran down the scruff of his beard to his chest.

“Why is that?” Harry groaned not enjoying the fact that she pushed him away, but also loving the fact that she did.

“You haven’t bought me dinner yet.” Alexa tossed her head back with a barking laugh. “Besides, I don’t kiss guys on the first date either. Not ever.” She warned the prince not to even try to attempt it.

Without another word Alexa pushed herself free from the confines of Harry’s arms and stepped back into the pouring rain. “What are you doing?!” He hollered back after Alexa as she lifted her arms up at her side and twirled around.

“I am already drenched, might as well enjoy it!” She yelled back at him while twirling around in the rain without a care.

Harry ran out into the pouring rain with Alexa. The playful side of her appeared, a side to her that Harry loved seeing as she played in the rain without a care of the world. Hearing her infectious laughter bellow out after seeing Harry pounce into a puddle brought the biggest smile upon his lips.

Alexa ran up to him and jumped into the same puddle splashing him and nearly knocking herself over as she slammed into his body having over estimated her steps. His arm stretched out and grabbed her before she fell backwards and secured her body tightly against him. “Careful, gorgeous.” He snaked his arm around her waist as an endless array of playful giggles left her mouth.

Looking off into the distance, a playful grin formed on her lips. “I’ll race ya.” Alexa pushed off of his chest and took off running in the opposite direction, glancing back over her shoulder daring the prince to chase after her. Of course, Harry would never back down from a challenge.

“I better not catch you or I am kissing those lips!” Harry bolted off to chase after her as Alexa squealed seeing him hot on her heels. His long legs proved helpful as he caught up to Alexa within a few strides. He grabbed her waist and lifted her up in the air, spinning her around to set her back gently on the ground facing him.

“Don’t kiss me.” Alexa giggled while pushing him away lightheartedly.

“I won’t.” He assured the blonde who put an end to the playful fight between them. Alexa rested her head down on Harry’s chest for a second only to be seen by Luke that waved goodbye to them and shook his head at their playfulness.

Harry leant down and placed his lips gently down to the soft cool skin on her temple, kissing it gently. “God, you are freezing cold!” His head snapped up with concern. “Let’s get you in the warm car.” His hand fell down to his side and blindly grabbed her cold fingers, rubbing them to create some sort of warmth as he led Alexa back to his awaiting vehicle to take them back.

#prince harry #royalfanficcentral #phff #fanfic #prince harry fanfic #royal fanfic #chapter3 #forevermyalwaysphff #harry and alexa

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shipmistress9 · 6 years

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What it means to be Chief - Chapter 6: Preparations

Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5

On his flight back to Berk, Hiccup was distinctly more at ease.

He'd stayed for the meal and for a while had chatted with his friends who didn't see him as their Chief. It had been simple, calm and relaxing. Like spending time with Astrid, not taking into account his worries over her well-being lately. Maybe he should put an effort into spending more time like this, just among friends and not as Chief. He'd even gotten to hear Fishlegs discovery about the caverns beneath Berserker Island and theorizing about it without caring about whether it served some greater good had been cathartic. And Heather had been able to calm him, too, had told him about how her pregnancy hadn't been as easy as it had seemed to them as well. And still, she'd made it. All in all, a reassuring and calming visit.

Not that the thought of having any Redthorns on his island was a calming one! But in the end, he was still glad that this was settled now as well. They would find a way to cope with their visitors. It would work! It had to…

At the very least, he would be able to stay close to Astrid, to hold her during the nights, to be there for her when she needed him. In whatever way… He would be there to help her, care for her, be there when their baby would be born. And he would be there to care for every one of her needs. Hiccup swallowed thickly as his thoughts began to wander and memories of just how she needed him often lately rose in his mind.

Their intimate relationship had changed during the last months. Before, they had simply been exploring, together and each other. They hadn't known the tiniest bit about sex except the simplest basics and figuring out how exactly it worked so that Astrid would fully enjoy it, too, had taken a while. He had let her take the lead as she knew better what she liked and only had taken over occasionally when he'd wanted to test a theory.

Now, things were different. After that dreadful journey last year and their very successful experiments - and repetitions of those -, they had become more curious. Astrid had seemingly heard a lot from Ruff but refused to ask her for more details even though, apparently, those details were important. Hiccup couldn't blame her, the mere thought of talking to Ruffnut about sex was… urg… Eret, on the other hand, was easy to talk to and after his own initial bashfulness had passed he'd had some quite interesting conversations with the ex-trapper.

Now it was Hiccup who mostly took the lead, in bed or wherever else they found themselves. Not that Astrid was docile or submissive. Those surely were terms that would never apply to her! But she willingly let him test whatever Eret had told him and let him teach her as well. In addition, she wasn't able to do much anymore anyway. The bigger her bump grew the more her desire seemed to grow as well but at the same time, it became harder and harder for her move like she was used to. Hiccup could only guess what this meant for her in general. She had always been active and agile, now being hardly able to take a walk had to disturb her immensely.

And she was in pain. She never said it, maybe wasn't even admitting it to herself, but he could see it. He saw the thin sheen of sweat on her forehead and the lines on her face, saw how tense she always was and heard the strain in her voice. Sometimes it seemed to him that the pain was so omnipresent, she didn't even register it anymore. But it was still there and to him, it was as if he could feel it, too. Because in the end, she was in pain because of him.

Hiccup sighed and absentmindedly scratched Toothless'neck. He knew that if he ever said this out loud, Astrid would punch him and rightly so. Some part of him understood that it was stupid. It wasn't like he had deliberately hurt her or anything. But the fact remained, she was in pain because of him and he hated it. As happy as he was and as much as he was looking forward to getting to know that invisible human being inside her, he hated that Astrid was in pain, that she was suffering. So he would do whatever he could to make it easier for her. When she was too dizzy to get up in the morning, he brought her a late breakfast in bed and when she was about to go stir-crazy, he took her on a walk or sometimes even a flight. When she could sit sidewise on a dragon and hold on to somebody else it was better for her. Not good, but better. He did all this whenever he found the time between all his other duties, which wasn't as often as he would have liked…

Only a couple of months… He knew that it wouldn't get easier but she only had to endure a couple of months more and than her ordeal would be over. He just hoped that nothing would go wrong… No, he had to believe that nothing would go wrong or he would go crazy!

During the last days, she'd been more sick than anything else again and he hoped this day hadn't been too bad for her. She'd seemed to be fine this morning but he was worried nonetheless. He just wished he had more time to care for her, to be there for her and make it easier. He knew that Gobber, Spitelout, and Valka already took care of a couple of things when it came to making smaller decisions about running the village, making sure their defenses were in order and about the Dragon Academy but still. He always felt like he had a hundred things to take care of when all he wanted right now was to care for Astrid.

. o O o .

When Toothless finally landed on the plaza in the middle of Berk, the sun was still relatively high up in the air. Even with the extended visit, they'd made it back sooner than Hiccup had expected.

"Someone needed to get a little energy out of his system I guess?" He murmured while rubbing Toothless' neck and the dragon answered with a happy warble. Flying was another thing he barely had enough time for lately. Put in on the to-do list for after things calmed down a bit again… He thought with a sigh and glided off of Toothless' back. And groaned as both his unequal feet hit the ground. Pain shot up his numb legs and for a moment, he had to literally cling to Toothless' saddle least they would give way beneath him. Damn, he really needed to go flying more often if just a few hours in the saddle were already too much again. He hadn't gotten numb legs from flying since… He couldn't even remember when that had happened the last time!

"You're working too much!" a booming voice sounded from behind him and with a strained smile, Hiccup turned.

"Gobber!" He greeted his mentor and tried not to stumble as the blacksmith brought his heavy hand down on Hiccup's shoulder. "No, I'm not. There are so many things that need to get done, there's no way around it. And now, we need to prepare for the signing as well!" Hiccup ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. Another point on his list, preparations for the Redthorn visit…

"So, Dagur agreed?" Gobber asked but kept on talking without giving Hiccup time to answer. "Ah, of course, he did. I bet he was glad to not have them around his sister. So now we'll have to deal with them, great…" A shadow crossed over his face but it was gone a moment later. "But back to the main topic. Yes, you are working too much! Look at you! Always tired, even thinner than usual and don't get me started on your face. You don't need to do all those things that need to get done yourself. You need to delegate!"

Hiccup sighed and rubbed his forehead. This wasn't the first time somebody told him that but nobody seemed to understand. He'd seen how his father had run the village, had witnessed it first hand! All he could do was try to live up to that, no matter how hard it was. "Gobber… I appreciate your advice but my dad-"

"Your dad!" Gobber interrupted him agitatedly but slumped down somewhat a moment later. "Stoick was a great leader. He did everything within his power to ensure Berk's well-being. He spent his days among his people and his nights brooding over whatever problem might have come up. That's what you wanted to say, right?" The blacksmith' voice had become thick with emotion and Hiccup gulped. If there was one person who missed his dad just as much as he did himself then it was probably Gobber. Maybe even more, so Hiccup only nodded. Gobber sighed and shook his head at his former apprentice.

"Do you know why your dad did it? Because he had nothing else left! After your mom was gone and you old enough to roam around the village on your own, he had nothing left but an empty house with too many memories. He buried himself in work and only lived to serve his people because there was no-one else waiting for him. Don't get me wrong, he loved it. But he didn't exactly choose that life. And even he relied on the entire council to take care of different matters.

"And you!" Gobber pointedly poked the round side of his hook against Hiccup's chest. "You are not your dad! Stop thinking about that fact as a fault. You're not better or worse, just different. And most of all, you have a wife who needs you! Make use of the people around you, trust them to do things correctly. And you take care of Astrid, she's more important right now than anything else."

Hiccup averted his eyes and pressed his lips into a thin line. Of course, Astrid was more important than anything else to him, always would be. But his people needed him, he had to keep them all safe, had to make sure they would have enough food in the next winter, had to supervise the extension of the stables for all the new dragons that had begun to settle on Berk, had to-

"Hiccup!" Gobber's voice tore him out of his thoughts again. He seemed to have been able to guess where his mind had gone, judging by his words. "I mean it! She carries your heir, that is more important right now than anything else. An heir will give the village some stabilization and will calm those who fear disputes about your succession. Go and care for your wife and let us deal with the rest." The older man paused for a moment, grimacing before he went on. "So, we're going to have visitors in a few weeks. Tell me what you've thought of, how are you planning to go about it and I'll take care of the preparations. Trust me!"

Hiccup closed his eyes and tried to think through what Gobber had said, his mind working rapidly. He had made it sound like caring for Astrid was another service to his people and it sounded almost too good to be true. But a part of him realized that Gobber was right. Maybe it really wasn't just about making sure the love of his life was alright, maybe caring for her would actually help the village. He nodded and with a sigh, looked up at the other man again.

"I can't really argue against that, can I?" He asked with a small smile which Gobber answered with a wide grin. "And I do trust you, Gobber! If not you than whom else?" He paused to think for a moment. "Right… We will need a free hut for the Redthorns to live in during their visit. I want it to be close to the Great Hall so they don't accidentally get lost in some alley." His hands balled into fists at his side at this. "Maybe Spitelout would be willing to make his available for the duration of their stay, that would be the easiest solution. And I want them watched at every time! We need to schedule a rotation for guards, men who keep an eye on them no matter whether they are up in the Great Hall, sleeping or out to piss! And I want everyone else on high alert as well. Tell the men the truth! That it's about their wifes, sisters, and daughters. We need to keep them separated from the Redthorns so make sure the women know that, too. It would be best if they stay in their homes as much as possible during that time. It will only be a week, two at the most. It should be manageable. And the dragons! The Redthorns are not used to them being around, so make sure everyone keeps their dragons close. They'll make the Redthorns uncomfortable and provide additional safety if needed." Hiccup hesitated and nodded once. "That should be it for now."

Gobber's expression had changed during Hiccup's monologue. He'd become grim, his unibrow furrowing dangerously but now a dark grin was spreading across his face. "Aye, Chief!" he said and the proud undertone in his voice was unmistakable. "I'll spread the words and talk to Spitelout and Valka. They'll help with the guards and the dragons. Don't you worry, we'll take care of this!"

"I know you will…" Another smile spread across his face, a much truer and softer one. Gobber was right, he didn't need to do everything himself. There were people around him, capable people whom he could trust. Together, they would make sure that everything worked out!

. o O o .

Hiccup climbed the stairs that led up to the Great Hall. Gobber had excused himself after their conversation a few minutes ago which had left Hiccup more lighthearted than he was willing to admit to himself. Putting order into his thoughts, outlining the plan that would ensure Astrid's safety along with that of everyone else on Berk as well, it had put his mind at ease to a great degree.

It would work! That wasn't just a meaningless thought anymore, not an empty phrase he kept chanting over and over to convince himself. Talking to Gobber had made him realize that, yes, it would work! It wasn't impossible, his wish to stay close to Astrid wouldn't lead into disaster after all.

Relieved like this, his mind and feet were now free to wander to where he longed to be. He was looking for Astrid! Because it was closest, he first dropped by at her parent's house but she wasn't there. Brenna could only tell him that she'd wanted to go to the Great Hall earlier and since Helka was there as well, she had been able to calm his mind further by assuring him that Astrid was fine today, much better than during the last days.

Now, he was making his way up the stairs and his blood was boiling. Because if Astrid was fine, it usually meant something else these days. When he reached the gate, he swallowed thickly before opening the door. After Gobber's speech, he was more than ever willing to do whatever he could to make Astrid feel better but if she was fine, if she wasn't sick or tired or dizzy… Well, he would still do whatever he could to make her feel better. It only meant it would be more fun.

He was a little torn at that point because she'd tried to explain it to him once. Being horny wasn't exactly pleasant for her these days, not just longing and anticipation and impatience. It was also painful in a way and he shouldn't enjoy it so much when she was. He didn't!

Well, he at least tried to not look too much forward to it. Although, this was one problem at least where he was fairly well able to help her with. And having sex always left her tired which also meant she wasn't in pain or anything while she slept. It was better than being sick at any rate. And he really shouldn't enjoy it that much!

Finally inside, his eyes needed a moment to adjust to the dim light. Not many people were here, not at this time of day. He saw Mulch and Bucket at the far end of the room, carrying baskets full of fish toward the cool storeroom back there while a group of women sat on one of the long tables, busy preparing tonight's meal. And on another table nearby, he recognized a group of very familiar figures, all laughing cordially at Tuffnut's performance of a duck dance on top of the table. Chuckling, Hiccup made his way toward them.

"You guys enjoy your day off, I see?" He asked lightly, eyes wandering along the seats, searching for the one person who clearly wasn't there.

"H!" Tuff's performance found an abrupt end as the male twin tripped, startled by Hiccup's appearance and only barely avoided landing on his sister. Still giggling, she and Lia stood to help him up again while Eret shook with laughter, barely able to hold on to Refflout in his arms.

"Hey, Hiccup. You're back early." Snotlout greeted him, the only member of the gang who'd instantly sobered up at his sight. "How did it go? Did Dagur agree?"

With an apologetic shrug, Hiccup nodded. He knew that Snotlout hadn't been thrilled by his idea and Hiccup couldn't blame him. But Snotlout's son was already born and he wouldn't have needed to accompany Hiccup just for the signing anyway.

"I see. " Snot grunted defiantly. "And what's the plan? You've seen how they are, how do you intend to prevent them from raping their way through Berk?"

Blunt as ever… Hiccup sighed inwardly but straightened up a little nonetheless. "We'll deal with them! They are just a few against our whole village, we know to be on guard and we have the dragons for protecting as well. That ought to be enough."

Hiccup saw how his cousin's mind works, slow but steady until his expressions softened and he nodded in agreement. "I guess you're right" Snotlout finally admitted. "I just hope your plan will work" He turned to throw a glance over to where Ruff and Lia were still trying to pull a playfully reluctant Tuff back on his feet.

Hiccup followed his gaze and murmured a short "Me, too!". Berk was a peaceful place and he intended it to stay that way. But for what felt like the billionth time during all these months, he dearly hoped the making this treaty had been the right choice!

"Hey, Chief! Good to see you back already," Eret greeted him, grinning widely. "I think there's someone itching to see you although she'd rather die than admit it…"

Hiccup heard Snotlout's low snort but choose not to react to it as Eret's words had been enough to turn his guts into a tight knot again. He tried not to let it show though, swallowed and let his gaze wander through the room. "Where is Astrid anyway?" He asked and tried not to sound too eager. "Her mother said she went to meet you guys here?"

Eret nodded in confirmation. "She did. And I dare say we kept her well enough entertained, she only snapped at me once" The tattooed man chuckled and knowing Astrid, Hiccup had to secretly agree. Only once was a good average these days.

"You just missed her," Ruffnut suddenly butted in with a smirk. "Lil' Babyhic was jumping up and down her bladder I guess. But I saw her coming back already. She's getting herself a refill, I think"

Hiccup noticed the mischievous gleam in her eyes, right before his head whipped around to the shadowy backside of the hall. They all knew what it meant when Astrid went to get a refill but he'd sooner cut out his tongue than say anything about that to her. They were all adults and it was no secret that they had a fairly active love life. It was hardly possible to overhear most of the times anyway.

He saw her then, standing in that awkward posture that at least somewhat eased her pain and his vision blurred for a second. As weird as this poise was and although he knew it was often more a necessity than anything else, his body recognized it as what it meant. Her sign. His heart began to beat a little faster and his pants became a little tighter than was comfortable. By all Gods above, he wanted to care for her and make sure she was alright, or as alright as was possible, but he'd be damned if he denied how very much he liked it when caring for her meant having heated and mind-blowing sex with her.

"I guess I'll just…" He mumbled and trailed off, bobbing his head and making a vague waving gesture before he turned and left his friends to their bickering. Adult, they might be but not always grown-up.

Every thought about his friends fled his mind when he entered the cooler shadows in the back of the Great Hall where he could make out her form more clearly now. She stood as expected, slightly bent over and her hips swaying from one side to the other. He couldn't see her face yet but could very well imagine how she looked right now, her eyes screwed shut and her mouth formed into a small 'O' while she tried to breathe through another painful Braxton Hicks contraction. He could hear her pained groan and although his body still very much wanted her, his mind was filled with concern and worry. Helka had confirmed what he'd suspected already, although he was not to tell Astrid to not worry her unnecessarily. These contractions seemed to bother her above the ordinary and they would only get worse during the next weeks. It wasn't bad enough yet to actually get worried but still…

Hiccup was about to approach her, rub her back to loosen up the cramped muscles or do whatever else might help her when she moaned again. This time it wasn't a painful noise though but very clearly a pleasurable one and something about her movements changed as well. Her hips didn't sway from one side to the other anymore but rather rocked back and forth, just as if-

"Mmmmhh… Hic-aah…."

…just as if she was imagining him thrusting into her. Her low but urgent moan cost him his balance and he almost stumbled when his body and mind stopped responding correctly for a moment. Gods, how was it possible that this woman had the power to send him on this endless breakneck flight of emotions. In one moment he was worried sick for her and in the next, she was the most tempting vixen there was and he loved, loved, loved her!

Taking a shuddering breath, he stepped close behind her and placed his hands firmly on her waist to hold her however she would react. A good decision as it turned out because for a moment it seemed like her arms and legs would give way beneath her due to surprise before she caught herself again. Practically sobbing, she leaned back, pressing her enticing behind against him and rubbed, calling even more blood down into his pulsing erection.

His breath escaped him in an audible huff and his hands further tightened their grip on her. He tried not to be too eager. He tried to remember that they were still in the Great Hall and that their friends were not far away, probably watching them. But it was hard... Finding her here always reminded him of all the times before and to where those had led them. Just being here with her was arousing, not to mention her cute ass she was still rubbing firmly against him. Gods, he wanted to grab her and bury himself in her hot wetness, wanted to make her scream while all her muscles clenched and spasmed, wanted to-

With a low groan, he pressed himself harder against her, let her feel him before he carefully pulled her up and against his chest. He would try to be good, this was not the place or the time.

He wound his arms around her waist until his hands cradled her baby bump, supporting the weight a bit while Astrid leaned heavily against him, her head resting against his shoulder.

"You're back!" she finally whispered and Hiccup chuckled.

"Obviously," he replied. "Or is there someone else who tends to hold you like this?"

Astrid huffed in exasperating but he could hear the humor beneath it. "Eret offered to do it once. You know, just to cheer me up. Said, I could imagine it would be you if that would make me feel better"

Hiccup felt how she shook with silent laughter and couldn't help but chime in. It was a very Eret thing to offer. "And did it work?" He asked artlessly, unperturbed by that idea. He knew that he had no reason to be jealous, knew that Eret was nice enough to offer any sort of help and that he would never have any reason to doubt Astrid. It gave him a pang of guilt though, to be reminded of how very little time he'd had for her lately.

But Astrid just snorted. "I didn't even try," she said flatly and snuggled closer to his chest. "He's not you."

Hiccup chuckled against her neck for a moment before he carefully turned her around to look at her. Her eyes were a little dazed and he couldn't help but reach up, cup her face and kiss her. He'd intended it to be a sweet kiss, chaste and with lips only, just to let her know how much he loved her but he should have known better. As soon as their mouths met, she demanded more, grabbed fistfuls of his hair and let her tongue glide across his lower lip, nibbled and sucked until he complied. As light as their exchange just now had been, he could feel her blatant desire in this kiss. He could taste the heat raging through her in the way her tongue ravaged his mouth, heard it in the small gasps she made against his lips and felt it in the way she pressed herself against him, despite her bump. It sent his head spinning and his respondent moan got swallowed by her as his hands tightened around her waist and his fingers dug into her back. Gods, she was a temptress and, by some miracle, she was his!

But they had to get out of here first. If she wanted sex, he would gladly deliver but he wasn't drunk enough to try anything here again and neither were the other residing Vikings. She would have to wait just a little longer…

"I thought you wouldn't be back until long past nightfall," Astrid whispered a little breathlessly after they'd parted and Hiccup snorted.

"Guess I was eager to return to you. Despite the entertainment on Berserker Island." He mused with a light tinkle in his eyes and she grimaced.

"So the Berserkers weren't able to hold your attention for long? Not even Dianne? I wish I could visit them and finally see her, too…"

"You will, milady!" he assured her and thought about how to distract her from that gloomy thought. "And no, they weren't. Not even Dagur in his frilly apron!"

"His… frilly… what?" She stared at him disbelievingly for a moment before she burst out laughing. "That's got to be a joke! He wouldn't…" She trailed off as she caught his raised eyebrow and started to laugh again. "Oh, of course, he would. He's Dagur!"

Hiccup winked, released her out of his embrace and held his hand up for her. "Are you fine with going for a walk? Doesn't have to be long, but the sun is still up and it's warm. You shouldn't spend all day inside." Astrid's lips twitched knowingly but she didn't say anything, just took his arm to lean on if necessary and let him lead her out of the Great Hall.

Once outside, they actually went for a little walk, down the steps into the village and around a few houses. Hiccup had assumed Astrid would make it a very short walk indeed, just down the few steps to their house but he'd been wrong. She seemed to enjoy the sun and the exercise and although there was a spark of disappointment down in his guts, Hiccup was relieved. She was fine and that was all that mattered.

On their way, they were greeted cheerfully by their fellow Vikings and Hiccup assumed that Gobber hadn't yet had enough time to spread the news or his people wouldn't have been in such a good mood. Or maybe the blacksmith thought it would be his duty as Chief to break this news to them. He would be right at that point and Hiccup probably needed to talk to him again.

Without his aid, his gaze wandered to Gobber's forge as they got closer and heard the blacksmith' awful singing. He could do it right now, get it out of the way. It wasn't usual for every Viking to gather in the Great Hall for dinner but surely it could be arranged. He should go and ask Gobber to-

"How much time do you have?" Astrid asked suddenly, absentmindedly rubbing her baby bump. Her gaze had followed his and Hiccup noticed the despondent expression with which she looked at the forge. "How long until you have to get back to being Chief?" There it was again, that pang of guilt. He really had neglected her too much but from now on he would do his best to make it up to her!

He turned her around to face him and gave her a warm smile. "I need to see Gobber," he said and when he noticed how her face fell, he added: "But it will only take a minute or two. And after that-" he reached to lift her face. "After that, I'm all yours. For the rest of the day, if you're okay with eating dinner in the Great Hall."

At this, Astrid's face lit up with joy. "Really?" She asked and it made a lump rise in his throat. She'd always been understanding, had encouraged him whenever he'd struggled with how little time he had for her because of his duties. But here now she was, practically glowing with happiness because he'd told her he would have more than just an hour or two for her today.

"Really!" Gobber had been right! She was more important than anything else right now. He still had to take care of other things as well but he wouldn't let himself get carried away again like before. "And tomorrow, too! And the day after tomorrow. And the day after that…"

With gleaming eyes, she gazed up at him and Hiccup could see a whirlwind of emotions in her eyes. Joy and happiness, relief, mischief and unconcealed desire that made his heart beat fast.

"Okay, go and talk to Gobber!" She suddenly ordered and Hiccup was about to nod when a strained grimace crossed her face. "I'll just… wait here and-" With a grunt, she clutched at her bump and leaned heavily against the stone wall beside her.

"Astrid!" He was at her side in an instant, hands raise to steady her, hold her, help her however possible but she just waved him off.

"I'm fine…" Astrid pressed through gritted teeth. "Just another one of these cursed-" a pained groan escaped her and his hands fluttered up to rub her back. "Hiccup, go!" She snapped! "It will be over in a few moments, no need to worry. Just go, talk to Gobber and then you can take me home, alright?"

Despondently, Hiccup nodded and he left her there, leaning against the wall. She was right, the longer he took to get this settled, the longer it would take to get her home afterward where she could sit and rest, where he could properly care for her. And he knew that those Braxton Hicks contractions as Helka had called them were no reason to worry, he knew! But he worried nonetheless. Because Astrid was in pain and there was nothing he could do to change it.

As expected, he found Gobber in his forge, working on some replacement parts for various saddles and with a cheerful expression. Hiccup wondered where that came from but didn't want to waste any time with small talk.

"Gobber!" He called after knocking as to not startle the blacksmith so close to the heat of the forge. "Could you do me another favor?"

The burly man turned and gave his Chief a broad grin. "Sure, laddy. What do you want me to do? I'm in a good mood, you might as well make use of that"

Hiccup frowned but didn't let himself get distracted. "I want to talk to our fellow Berkians tonight, tell them about the changed plan and what it's going to mean for every one of us. Could you spread the word? Tell everybody to come up to the Great Hall tonight?"

"Sure, I can do that. Wanted to go for a walk anyway, it's just such a lovely day!"

"Thanks, Gobber." Hiccup said wholeheartedly and added after a short pause. "What put you in such a good mood anyway?" Not, that he had time for a long story but Gobber's behavior struck him as odd after how grim he'd been earlier.

"Oh, it's just…" Gober began and giggled. He actually giggled! "I talked to Spitelout already, about his hut, you know? And he agreed without complaining. Said that would be a great chance to spend some time with his son again and that, surely, he could live with him for a week or two. And I just don't know who to pity first, Spitelout, Snot, Ruff, or Eret" And without another word, Gobber turned back to finish his piece of forgery, humming cheerily to himself.

With a pained smile, Hiccup left the forge again. It really only had taken him a minute and the thought of Spitelout sharing a roof with his free-spirited friends was hilarious but he didn't have space in his mind for something like that right now.

Astrid was still leaning against the wall where he'd left her. She looked up when he approached her and smiled. "Hey, that was quick. Got everything done?"

Hiccup stepped close toward her and carefully placed his hands on her belly. "Yeah, everything's settled." He mumbled. "Are you feeling better already?" She looked better. There was no hint of that pained strain on her face left and her smile seemed genuine.

"Hiccup, I told you, I'm fine!" She sighed. "These Braxton Hicks contractions come and go in the blink of an eye, they hurt but they are no reason to make a fuss about me. Now tell me, how did your visit go, except the frilly apron? What did Dagur say? And about what did you have to talk with Gobber just now? I feel like I'm missing a lot these days, care to fill me in?"

Chuckling, Hiccup reached for her hand and placed a soft butterfly kiss on each of her knuckles. How was it possible that he was so lucky to have her? She had so much to endure because of her pregnancy and yet here she was, brushing his concerns for her aside as if they didn't matter. As if she wasn't the most important part of his entire world. "I love you. Did you know that?"

"I think you might have mentioned that – once or twice" Astrid answered dryly, reached up with her free hand to cup his cheek and pulled him toward her to give him a quick kiss. "But you can stop worrying about me now, alright?"

"Oh, I'll never stop worrying about you!" He murmured, eyes closed. "That's just the way it is!"

A soft expression spread across her face as she recognized his words and with a fond smile she answered: "I guess that goes for me, too." He could feel her fingers on his skin as she caressed his face, smoothing out some lines and brushing aside a few strands of his unruly hair.

And then she grabbed one of the little braids she regularly put in his hair just for this purpose and tugged at it to make him wince. "But enough of that gloomy mood now! Home! Now!" She commanded. "You can tell me all about your plan on the way"

Gladly, Hiccup obliged. He told her everything Dagur had said, told her about the concerns they all had about this visit and how he planned to go about it. She wasn't happy with the thought of being kept separated from the Redthorns. As if she couldn't do that on her own but Hiccup was adamant. This was a topic where he wouldn't take any chances. He would still need to outline the details but he wanted someone to be around her at any time then and, grudgingly, she agreed.

When they reached their home, Hiccup craned his neck to take a look at the attached stable while Astrid went ahead inside. Toothless and Stormfly weren't there but at this time of day that wasn't surprising. Ever since that journey to Redthorn Island all those months ago, Toothless was wearing the automatic tailfin he'd once despised so much. Hiccup guessed his friend still wasn't all that happy about it and neither was he himself but it was necessary. Toothless needed to fly, to move and to hunt and Hiccup had not enough time to simply fly around for hours every day. Not anymore. They still spent a lot of time together as Toothless accompanied him most of the time whether he kept him company during a gripe day or carried him around to inspect the outer fences but the dragon also spent many hours flying, on his own or with Stormfly and the other dragons. With a sigh, Hiccup followed Astrid inside. Flying was another point on the list of things he wanted to have more time for.

Once inside, Hiccup almost choked in surprise, hastily shut the door behind him and locked it. Astrid sat at the edge of the table in the middle of the room and smirked at him, completely naked.

"I think we wasted enough time now," She said and by all means sounded as if she was talking about the weather. "C'mere!" She lifted her hand, made this small gesture with her index finger that meant she wanted him to come closer and Hiccup obeyed hesitantly.

He stepped closer until he stood between her thighs, as close as her bump would allow and let his hands glide over her arms, shoulder and down to her waist. "Are you sure?" He asked, voice hoarse with barely concealable desire. Gods, she was unbelievable, so tempting and sexy and yet… "Those contractions… I don't want you to hurt, are you sure it's alright?" His trousers were painfully tight already and she must have noticed that, too, but still. Yes, he wanted her, only Freya knew how much, but even more than that he wanted her to be alright.

Astrid looked at him with half-lidded eyes and reached to draw his face toward her. "I am! Now, shut up!" She pressed her lips to his and after only a moment's hesitation, he returned her kiss.

It wasn't a calm or slow one, not at all. Their lips parted in an instant, tongues sliding and teeth scraping. Hiccup placed his hands on the table as to not put too much weight on her while he swallowed her hungry moans. Soon, their kiss became more breathless, interrupted by small gasps and little bites and Astrid shudders as her hot skin rubbed against the cold leather and metal of his riding gear. Damn, why hadn't he changed right after he'd landed? Taking it off now would take longer than he was willing to wait.

Astrid seemed to think the same and Hiccup felt her practiced hands on his armor a moment later. Without much trouble, she opened the belt around his waist and let her hand glide beneath the leather vest to where cords held his trousers in place. Yep, she definitely didn't want to wait either! Once loose, she pulled the fabric down, not far, just as far as was possible with the holster still attached to his leg but it was enough. Hiccup groaned desperately as her warm hand closed around his now free cock and carefully began to stroke him.

"I need you" she whispered, her voice heavy with desire and Hiccup's head dropped down to her neck while she kept pumping him. Gods, he needed her, too! For a few moments longer, he enjoyed the feeling of her hand around him and lightly bit into her shoulder, unnecessarily keeping her from stopping. It just felt so fantastic. But then he tore himself away from her and made a step backward. Astrid's eyes were on him, waiting, expectant.

"Turn around!" He ordered and with a devious gleam in her eyes, she obeyed. She got into the same position she'd been before, up in the Great Hall, hands resting on the table to support her weight, feet a foot apart and ass invitingly outstretched. Hiccup swallowed, and let himself enjoy the view for a moment before he reached for her hips. This had become their favorite position during the last weeks because her bump wouldn't be in the way but it also served to make seeing her standing like this in the Great Hall so much harder. His hands drew meaningless patterns on the skin of her thighs, her ass, and her back until she was trembling with anticipation.

"Hiccup…" came her pleading voice.

"I want to make sure you're ready…" He murmured, barely able to conceal the humor in his voice. He'd learned his lesson and would never again just slam into her like that but this now was more fun than real preparation. He could see how slick she already was!

"S-stop teasing! Nee-ah! Need you inside mmmhh…" His hand had wandered further down, around her hips, closer to her center and it seemed to make forming coherent words harder for her.

"Are you sure?" His other hand glided down her ass, between her legs and lightly caressed her golden locks. "I don't want to hurt you…"

"Hiccup!" Astrid's cry was a mixture of a growling threat and a desperate plea and he decided it was enough. His skilled hand found her entrance and he slowly pushed two fingers into her. Her wordless moan rang in his ears as his vision began to swim.

"Gods, you're so wet" He gasped while he testingly pumped his fingers into her.

"Have –Ah!- have been all d-day! Now, f-fuck me alreaahh-" The last thrust with his fingers had been a little harder, just to take her breath away and the result was beautiful. She shuddered and with a low whine, she sank down on her elbows, face pressed against her arm. Right, outside it was still broad daylight and even through the closed shutters, he could hear chatting Vikings and playing children. Regrettably, it was a good idea to try and stay quiet.

Hiccup pulled his fingers out and brought the tip of his cock into position. He rubbed along her slit to cover his shaft in her arousal which drew a series of low curses and moans out of her before he slowly, very slowly pressed into her.

Freya, she felt divine! So hot and wet and tight and hot! "Gods, Astrid…" He groaned when he was only halfway inside her and paused to give her time to adjust. It was wonderfully maddening, her trembling body beneath his hands and her urgent noises in his ears. He looked down to watch himself sink deeper into her when she suddenly moved, obviously impatient.

"Oh Gods, yes!" Astrid positively sobbed, muffled into her arm as she speared herself onto his length. Apparently, she hadn't wanted to wait any longer and Hiccup couldn't blame her. For a second, they both stood still, gasping and relishing in the intense feeling of being one. He would never get enough of this, of her! Astrid was the one to break the moment, moving forward a little bit but just to push back again a moment later and Hiccup got the message. He began to move as well, pushing her open with slow and steady strokes that matched her own rhythm.

Hiccup wasn't worried to hurt her, not now anymore. He knew from experience that once her body had accepted him inside her there was no reason left to worry. And he trusted her that should he actually do something that hurt her, she would stop him immediately, for her sake and their child's. So far, that had never happened though so he kept thrusting into her and listened to her beautiful yelps and cries. When her pushing back against him became faster, he followed, his hand wandering around her hips to her front. Soon, it became very hot beneath his armor, sweat soaking his tunic and running down his face but he didn't care. Everything around him began to black out until nothing was left except her hot wetness around him and her mesmerizing noises in his ears.

"Gods, Hic-Ah! Hiccup! Aahh! Ha-Ah! Hard-nng-er!" Astrid's urgent moans were barely understandable, stifled against her arm and interrupted by little gasps and cries but he noticed how she trembled and shook and understood. Thank Thor, she was close as well! With a desperate groan, he sped up his thrusts and rolled his hips to hit her deeper. The new angle would hit just the right spot on her inside while his practiced fingers played her outside. It didn't take much longer until her noises changed to desperate sobs, until her fingernails uselessly scraped over the table and until her body tensed up beneath his hands.

"Oh yes! Hic- nngh- gonna… gonna come!" After that, only one last deep thrust was enough to make her shatter and burst. Witnessing her wailing and spasming in pleasure in combination with her inner muscles brutally clamping down on him then was enough to break him as well. His teeth dug deep into his lip to keep the howl locked inside as he spilled into her welcoming body and it was incredible.

A minute later, they were both still panting and still locked in the same position as before. Astrid rested heavily on the table while Hiccup did his best to keep her and himself on their feet as the world slowly began to return to them. His thumbs drew soothing circles on her hip before he slowly pulled out of her. Hiccup gave himself another moment to gather up his senses before he pulled his covering into place and reached to carefully pull Astrid up as well. She snuggled into his arms, her naked skin against his leather and sighed happily.

"Thank you!" She breathed, afterglow-shivers still running up and down her body.

Hiccup chuckled lightly. "You're more than welcome!" He mumbled into her hair and she hummed. He could feel how her body got heavier and he shifted his arms beneath her to carry her bridal style over to their bed in the other room. He quickly took off his armor and sweaty clothes and sat down on the bed, content with simply watching her for a moment. When she lay there between the crumpled sheets, looking up at him with a lazy smile, he was once more overcome with how utterly beautiful she was. Even with her disheveled braid, her bangs sticking to her forehead and her swollen body, she was perfect. Or maybe it was because of all that, Hiccup couldn't tell. She was simply perfect, period.

Astrid seemed to have noticed his dreamy look and returned it for a moment before she stretched her arm out for him. She took his hand in hers and brought it to her lips, just like he'd down early in front of Gobber's forge as well. She placed soft kisses on his rough knuckles and breathed a low "I love you, too!" against his skin, caressing him with her lips until he leaned down to kiss her.

"Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou" he mumbled against her skin, post-coital bliss making him a little mellow and Astrid chuckled. She pulled him down next to her and cuddled into his side, finally skin on skin, warm and secure and home.

"I mean it…" she whispered after a pause and Hiccup frowned. "I love you! So much it sometimes hurts. And I feel like I'm not saying it often enough. You're doing so much, for me and for everyone else as well and you're amazing! I love you, Hiccup Haddock. I love you!"

With a breathy laughter, Hiccup carefully rolled around to take her into his arms, covering them both with a blanket in the process. "I meant it, too. I love you, Astrid Haddock. More than my life, more than anything. I…" he broke off and shook his head. Words were too weak to express his feelings for her and so he just pressed another kiss into her hair as she snuggled closer into his embrace.

They lay like this for a while, just basking in each other's warmth until Astrid groaned and rubbed her belly.

"Another contraction?" Hiccup asked anxiously but Astrid shook her head.

"No" she gasped, combined with a short laughter. "Your son is just kicking me, that's all. See?" She pushed the blanket aside and turned so her baby bump was fully visible and really, there on the one side was a visible smaller bump protruding from the bigger one.

Hiccup gulped and reached for it, but hesitated and glanced back at Astrid's face. "May I?" He asked and Astrid smiled.

"Of course!"

His gaze wandered back toward that small bulge and carefully, he laid his hand over it. At first, he didn't feel anything different but then the bulge beneath her skin moved! It nudged rapidly against him a few times and then pressed outward, filling his suddenly shaking hand.

"Hey there, little one," he breathed, overwhelmed by this first contact. Up until now, the idea of Astrid carrying a human being inside her had been more abstract than anything else. He'd known but had never really understood. But now he did. He did understand and it was glorious.

The pressure against his hand lessened a bit and he heard Astrid's relieved sigh but kept his hand on her belly, close to their child while he stretched to kiss her again.

This moment was perfect.

Hiccup knew that they only had less than an hour left before they needed to get dressed again. He had to talk to his people, tell them the not so good news about the unpleasant visitors that would arrive in a few weeks. He had to tell them about his plan to deal with them and how he would need all their help for that. He needed to tell them how their visit would confine them all in their daily life, needed to apologize and explain why all that was necessary. All in all, he had no good news to tell them.

But right now, with Astrid in his arm and their child nudging against his hand, everything was perfect.

next chapter

#What it means to be Chief #hiccstrid #hiccstrid smut #hiccstrid fanfiction #Chapter 6 #shipmistress9

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