#phff

[duchessanon]

For the love of Henri: Tome 7 - Legend of the Ginger Pubes

Looks like it's one tome per two years. The never awaited next chapter is here.

What you missed on FTLOH…Henri’s beloved first wife’s (Philanthropina)  death was faked by the evil Kate and Meghan. Meghan married Henri but after accidentally burning a piece of Jesu’s cross, she became hated by the nation. Meghan decided to get the public back on side by procreating…however Henri was reluctant to give up his nethers.

After two long weeks of marriage, Henri had still not exposed his nethers to Meghan. Every time that Meghan tried to seduce him, he claimed he had to teach paupers how to grow their own vegetables, or was going to sleep on the streets to connect to the homeless (something that was his idea before Bulliam stole it and took all the credit). 

Meghan had tried everything to entice his nethers. From dressing up as a sexy nurse, which resulted in her volunteering at the Hospital for the Sick and Decrepit after Henri mistook her intentions. To running them a romantic bath and having to scoop out all the water so Henri could water his plants. But alas, the nethers remained hidden.

One day, Meghan was lunching with Fergie, discussing the problems with her sex life. Fergie was the only member of the royal family who was as open as an American like her.

‘Have you tried getting your toes out?’ Fergie said, eating a grass sandwich.

‘Yes of course I have, he started doing “this little piggy” with them, honestly gave me the ick’

‘What about engaging in some dirty talk, maybe the whole tampon thing runs in the family?’

‘Actually Fergie, I’ll have you know Dear Papa Charles NEVER said he wanted to BE a tampon, just that it would be his luck that he’d become one!’

‘Tomatoes, tomatos. Anyway there might be something else you could do if you’re really serious about this baby business’. Fergie wiggled her eyebrows.

‘Spit it out woman!’ Meghan yelled, like the loud American she was. 

‘I know a woman who knows a woman who could get you a baby, it’ll be genetically yours and everything’ Fergie winked dramatically. 

‘But his nethers won’t arise for me, how am I supposed to get a genetically correct child?’

Fergie started waving around her hands and throwing petals in the air, whispering as pink smoke began circling around her. ‘As a royal wife, you are now privy to one of the family’s biggest secrets. Royals can create babies simply using their pubes! BUT, the baby MUST be carried by a Chosen One.’

Meghan gasped, ‘tell me more! Have there been previous Chosen Ones?!!!!’

‘Tiggy Leggy Iggy Wiggy Bourke, Julie Andrews, Rose (Allegedly) Chalomet’ 

‘Urm isn’t it Cholmondeley?’ 

‘Hush child!’ Fergie put a finger to Meg's mouth. ‘Speak not of what you know’.

‘Great I’ll have Julie’

‘FOOL, the Chosen One is chosen for you and can not be swopped between wives!!! Besides, only my beloved Eugbea has been blessed with the pipes of her Pube Mother, Julie’ Fergie span in a circle for dramatic effect.

‘Ok, no need to be so busybody! So Diana used Tiggy? You used Julie and Snake used Rose?! What a headfuck! Who did Liz use’

‘Are you DUMB!? Blood princesses don’t need a surrogate! That is only for married in women’. 

‘So what must I do?!’

Fergie’s eyes bulged with excitement. ‘Retrieve five pubes from Henri, and then consult the Mistress of the Pubes, she will tell you what to do next’

Meghan stroked her chin thoughtfully, ‘five pubes you say? Shouldnt be so hard…’

*

Later that day, Meg and Henri were watching a Richard Attenborough show side by side on the couch without touching.

‘Henri my love’ Meg cooed.

‘Yes dear’ Henri replied while reading Libby’s latest French novella, which they were planning to sell to raise money for three legged horses. 

‘I was just wondering about the consistency of your nether pubes’ she said.

Henri choked in embarrassment. How could she bring up such a lurid topic? ‘M-m-m-y nether pubes?’

‘Yes well, my friend Gwynyth Paltrow says it’s important for men to condition their pubes as it increases productivity - can I have a little sample of yours? I’ll send them to Goop HQ and they’ll make you a personalised conditioner!’

‘I don’t think so Meghan dear, I’m happy with my productivity levels. I’ve just beaten Aunty Anne for the first time on my engagement count!’ Henri was proud yet humble about this achievement, and was certainly NOT bragging.

Meghan scowled. She really thought mentioning productivity would get him. Henri was devoted to his work, after all.

Later that night, in bed but not touching, Henri was reading some Greek philosophy. On the cover was a Greek statue showing off his clean, bare nethers. She was struck with an idea.

‘You know my love, that is one on Phily’s old books isnt it?’

‘Why yes it is’, he said with a tear in his eye.

‘She had an awful lot of philosophy books with those statues on the cover, and I found a few of her hand carved sculptures in the garden. They all had very bare nethers’ she smirked.

‘Well that is the style, one can’t sculpt in pubic hair!’ Henri said defensively.

‘Phily could’, Meghan said. ‘Phily could do anything and she was a huge supporter of natural bodies, I wonder if she just didnt like pubes on men’

Henri’s mind raced back in time. Phily was a advocate for natural bodies and was patron of the We Love Our Bodies And Body hair Society. But it was also true that she loved Greek sculptures and pubeless men.

Henri leapt out of bed and ran to the bathroom. Five minutes later, he appeared looking sheepish. Meg went in, finding just what she was looking for. A used razor with ginger pubes stuck in it. She laughed manically ‘FINALLY MY TIME HAS COME!’

*

The next day Meghan hopped on a flight to NYC using Elton’s plane. She approached the door of the Den of the Mistress of the Pubes, which was actually the Penthouse Suite at the Plaza Hotel. 

After knocking on the door, someone called ‘who goes there?!’

It was a special code and Fergie had given Meghan the password - ‘BITCH FLAKES!’.

The door opened and Meghan smelt a familiar tropical scent - JLO Miami Glow perfume (2005). Outside the window she could see a beautiful sparking woman on top of the Empire State Building performing a pole dance. When Meghan blinked, the woman was in front of her.

‘JENNIFER LOPEZ?!!’ she exclaimed. ‘YOU’RE the Mistress of the Pubes?!’

‘You got it’ Mistress winked. ‘I’m real, the way I walk the way I talk…’

‘I can’t believe it, you can dance, act, sing (kinda) and make babies from pubes’

Mistress broke into song and Meghan stood awkwardly while she finished, ‘don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got, I’m still Jenny from the block’.

‘Okaaay, so can you help me get pregnant?’ Meg said, knowing she could sing better.

‘You know I can’t get enough, I love that shit, you know I cant get enough, you love that shit’ Mistress wailed. 

‘Shut up birch! I dont wanna hear your fuckin album!’ Meghan screamed, her tongue lashing out and poking Mistress in the eye. 

‘Fine! What’s the problem?’

‘Henri wont give up his nethers and I need to get preggers so the British public forgive me for burning the cross of Jesu’ 

‘Wait, who are you and who’s Henri?’

‘Henri, Prince of the People!’

‘Ohhhh, Princess Phily’s man? God I miss her’, JLo wept as most people did when they talked about Phily. She was known and missed by every single human, animal and atom on the planet (apart from Meg, k8 and Willy). 

‘Well yes, I have his pubes and I need a baby’. She handed over the five ginger pubes in a golden napkin stolen from Liz.

JLo took them and tucked them between her tatas. ‘Come back this time tomorrow’.

*

That time the next day, Meg returned. She was off her face with excitement about who her surrogate could be. Surely for Henri, it wouldnt be some low level aristo like Rose (allegedly). Maybe it would be Dakota Johnson or Simone Biles!

When she got to the penthouse, Mistress JLo was there standing in front of a red curtain. Meg gasped when she saw who standing bouncing on his knees next to her.

‘Uncle Eddie?!’ Meg screamed.

‘It is I, Edward the curtain drawer-backer! No reveal can be made without me’

‘So this is how you make your extra cash’, Meg said.

‘Ok people, let’s not delay, the procedure was successful and I can confirm there is a royal baby on the way’, JLo said. ‘We will now reveal your surrogate’.

Eddie clapped and cheered.

JLo started singing as Eddie gripped onto the curtain rope. ‘Let’s get louuud, LET’S GET LOOOUUUUUD!!!!’

The curtain was pulled back revealing the surrogate. Meghan screamed like Kevin in Home Alone.

A stunning voluptuous lady was revealed, wearing a ruby bikini and a smile, ‘SHUT UP BIRCH, WHO PISSED IN YOUR FLAKES?’

It was Jimmu. 

TO BE CONTINUED...

#phff

[americanroyalty-phff]

Chapter 22 - Plans for the Fourth

After getting back from England and attending a polo game of Harry's, it was the end of June and would soon be the Fourth of July. The Fourth of July was a serious holiday for every member of the Kennedy family. Every Fourth of July was the big family reunion where everyone went to the big family compound and stayed and celebrated the holiday, ate, played sports, swam, sailed, drank, did just about everything under the sun. It was something that I looked forward to every year, especially since I moved out and went to college. I almost never saw my extended family and even my parents and siblings. Anyone who came always had the best time. (And we typically ended up with a good handful of people who weren't even related to anyone, but showed up because they were friends or dating one of us.)

I was bringing Harry along with me. It probably sounds super intimidating since my family is so large, I really didn't want to go alone though. This would be my first time there without Jesse and I just knew that a lot of my extended family would have lots of questions about that whole situation. I would have my family to hang out with but everything is just better when Harry is around. Plus I wanted my family to meet him, we seemed to be getting pretty serious.

It would be odd to bring a British prince to a Fourth of July event though, I do have to admit. Maybe a tad contradictory. Especially since it's when America became independent from Harry's ancestors. But very funny if you ask us.

Harry and I had decided that we would fly down to Boston together and then go on down to Hyannis Port, probably riding with my dad and stepmom, Anne. This way I could stop in Boston to see my mom as well. Since my mom and dad got divorced when I was younger, she obviously didn't come to any more family functions on the Kennedy side unless it had something to do with me or my brothers. I knew my mom would love to meet Harry, she's heard so much about him from me. I knew all of my family would love him.

I also knew that her and my dad and Anne were all very concerned about all the media attention as well as my own safety. They knew all about the headlines, they knew all about the intrusion into my life so much that I had to basically quit my job. I just hope they see how amazing and wonderful Harry is and can overlook the bad stuff. I know I'm trying to.

Before I could even think about packing and traveling and all of that stuff, I was finishing up some work.

Just as I ended a video conference, Harry was calling me.

"Hey." I answered, putting the phone to my ear.

"Hey, babe. What're you doing?" He asked.

"I was just finishing up some work for the next few days since we will be out of town." I said. "What about you?"

"I'm making myself a cup of tea and just looking through some papers for work. After this I'm gonna head to bed. I just wanted to call and tell you goodnight and that I love you."

"Ah. I hope you have a good rest of the night. I love you. I miss you."

"I miss you too. I'll see you tomorrow."

I smiled. He was flying into New York in the morning and then the next day we were flying to Boston together.

"I'm excited for you to get here." I said.

"I'm excited to get there. I have to pack." he said. "What do I pack for a Fourth of July/family reunion?"

"Just whatever you want. I bring red, white, and blue stuff. Bring some swimming trunks And bring a jacket or something, it gets chilly there." I explained. "I'll get you an American flag shirt."

He laughed.

"Oh god, just imagine me getting papped in that." He said. "I can see the headlines now."

I giggled.

We talked for a few more minutes before hanging up.

I got up and put my computer away. I needed to walk the dog, shower, pack, and a bunch of stuff before I could go to bed.

After doing everything that I needed to get done, I slipped into bed and my thoughts drifted onto tomorrow and the coming days.

I was hoping that my family would be nice and easy on him. They can be a bit daunting and ruthless if you've never met them. Well, they can be that way even if you were born into that family.

---------

-The Next Morning-

I woke up and started to make coffee, it was a big day so I wanted to get moving as fast as possible.

Harry was catching a flight here to New York and we would then drive down to Boston together, visit my mom, and then go to my dad's house where he would be driving him, my stepmom, myself, and Harry down to Hyannis Port tomorrow.

My phone dinged as I was pouring myself a cup of coffee.

good morning baby, i just landed at jfk and getting a cab so i'll see you soon! -H

I smiled, excitement bubbling up in my stomach at the thought of him being close and seeing him soon.

I texted him back that I was excited to see him and I settled onto the couch to enjoy my cup of coffee.

As I waited, I turned the news on and was shocked to see mine and Harry's face on it. It was claiming how we were going on a "weekend getaway" but I don't know how anyone even knew that.

Have I mentioned that to anyone?

I was confused but let it go. People probably just figured that's what we were doing since it would be the Fourth of July soon and knew that my family always has big celebrations for it.

I started dozing off when there was a knock at my door, which sent Peach into a barking fit.

"Oh, calm down!" I said to him and picked him up. "It's just Harry."

I unlocked all of the locks and opened the door to reveal a grinning Harry.

"Hi!" I practically squealed, excited to see him.

It was always so nice when he was at my apartment, it felt like he just belonged there.

"Hello!" he spoke as he wrapped me in a hug. "Hi buddy!"

He scratched Peach's head.

I moved out of the way to let him in and he could set his stuff down.

"Hi." he said and bent down to properly kiss me.

"Hi." My voice barely above a whisper.

"Are you packed?" he asked.

"Yeah mostly. I just have to wait for Tim to get here to take Peach. Then we can load the car up and go." I smiled.

I poured Harry a cup of coffee and we sat down on the couch and waited.

I curled up to him and we sat in a comfortable silence until a knock prompted me to get up.

“Hey!” I greeted and let Tim into the apartment.

“Oh, hi!” Tim sputtered out and bowed to Harry, at the waist and very much wrong. Bless him, us Americans have no idea what we’re doing when it comes to royalty.

“Tim, this is Harry.” I gestured over to Harry and smiled. “Harry, Tim.”

“Hey mate, you don’t have to do any of that.” Harry laughed as he stuck his hand out.

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea.” Tim shook his hand and shook Harry’s hand with both of his.

“Don’t worry about it.” Harry laughed again.

“Well, what’re you two doing over the holiday?” Tim asked as I moved about the apartment getting some of Peach’s favorite toys to put in his little travel bag. (I know, “travel bag” he’s become so fancy these last few months.)

“Oh, nothing wild. Just regular Kennedy Compound Fourth of July celebrations. Eating, drinking, boating, sailing, usual chaos due to there being a thousand and one people there.” I zipped the bag and handed it to Tim. “Thanks for watching Peach, I try to only take him on planes when I visit Harry. Plus he probably wouldn’t like all the little kids trying to pet him and bothering him.”

“Right, it’s no problem. Well, hope you two have fun!” Tim gathered the things and put Peach’s leash on him. “See ya later!”

“Bye, bye Peachy!!” I kissed his little head and waved as Tim walked out back into the hallway.

After I shut the door behind Tim, Harry was standing looking at me with a suspicious look on his face and his arms crossed over his broad chest.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"He seems weird." Harry said.

“Well, I doubt he’s met a prince before.” I joked and patted his hip as I walked past him.

“I’m serious, Beau. I don’t think he’s safe. He seems off.”

“Harry, no! He’s a good friend from work and he’s been so supportive and helpful since we started seeing each other.” I reasoned with him. “Plus he was only here a couple minutes.”

“I just have a bad feeling. Let’s just be careful, okay? Especially you, when you’re here by yourself.”

“I’m a big girl, I’ll be alright.”

"Just promise me you'll be careful, alright?" he wrapped his arms around my waist and looked down at me.

"I promise."

I kissed him.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Well, hello everyone! Welcome back!

I hope to update again soon, I'm so excited with where I've planned to take this story so just be patient with me and stay tuned!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

#american royalty phff #british royal family #duchess of criminology #greys anatomy #jesse williams fanfiction #prince harry #duke and duchess of sussex #brf #britishroyalfamily #chapter 22 #duke of sussex #duchess of sussex #prince harry fanfic #royal family fanfiction #prince harry fanfiction #fanfiction #greysanatomy #prince harry x you #prince harry x reader #jesse williams x you #jesse williams x reader #jessewilliams #kate middleton #lilycollins #royals #prince henry of wales #i write things #writing #princeofwales #phff

[prettyboyrose1974]

I’m sorry for the stranger things posting but The moment they had Mike show up looking like RICHIE TOZIER it was over for me

#do not do that shit to me #I’m just sitting here giving Finn the biggest heart eyes #Phff what year is it? 2019?

[wifeofnatasharomanoff]

She's Evil. (most definitely)

Pairing: mean popular girl!Wanda x shy F!reader

Warnings: semi-public sex, dom!Wanda, fingering (r receiving), light angst, slight toxic relationship

Words: 909

A/N: had a little idea, some of it goes to @cthulhus-curse 's server for credit! also wanda has brown hair in this AU!

i hope you like it my darlings, get a bit rest if you need to! i love you all <3

You were sitting quietly in class, writing down some notes till you felt something lightly hit the back of your head. You turn around to see Wanda snickering with her face buried in a book.

You sigh, looking down, you grab the note and quietly read it. ‘meet me at the library in 10.’ with a little heart doodle at the end of the note. You furrow your brows in confusion, looking back at Wanda, who has her full attention on the book in her hands, occasionally checking the time on her phone.

You shrug it off and crumble up the paper, tossing it in your backpack.

It was a free period, so you went to the library to get some books to study for your upcoming history exam. “Where the hell is it..” you mutter to yourself, getting up on your toes to peek up at the top row of books.

“Is this what you're looking for?” you hear a voice behind you, “Oh.. Wanda. Yeah that– it's what I was looking for.” you say, attempting to grab it from her, only for her to move it out the way. “Uh-uh what do we say?” you huff, “Can I please get the book?”

She smirks, slowly backing you up onto the bookshelf. “And?” you step back, gasping quietly when your back hits the shelves. “Wanda w-we're in public,” you whisper, “-and in a library.”

She frowns, kissing your neck. “So what?” she says, running her hand up your thigh and under your skirt. You clutch at her wrist, “People could see us.” she flicks away your hand, moving her hand up your thighs.

“I don't care. You.. just look so cute in this outfit today, all I wanna do is touch you.” she kisses your neck, slowly sucking onto your pulse point. “Wanda, as much as I'm enjoying this, we have to sto—” you get cut off with a moan, as your body betrays you when she slips two of her fingers into your panties.

“We have to what? Hm?” she whispers into your ear, trapping you in between her and the bookshelf. “Wanda..” you whine, you couldn't tell what for. Desperate for her touch? Or for her to stop?

“Yeah?” she circles your clit with the pad of her thumb, humming quietly as she kisses your forehead. “I– I..” she puts on a fake smile, “What is it baby?” she looks down, gazing into your eyes. Without any warning nor hesitation, she shoves in her two digits inside your dripping cunt.

She adores the way your eyes widen, panicked whether you would get caught, or in pleasure as she thrusts her fingers deep inside your pussy. “Wanda.. Wanda please what if we get caught or–” she presses her lips to yours, pining you down with her arm above your head and the other around your waist.

“Has anyone seen Wanda? We've been looking all...” voices from afar could be heard, and the brunette pulls back, covering your mouth with her hand. “Wndhmff wht the hell mmph—” your words muffled as she holds you down. “Shh.. malysh,” your eyes start to wander around the library, wondering what she was hiding from. “My friends. I– I can't let them see us me out here.”

“mmh–phff,!” she slowly takes her hand off of your mouth, allowing you to breathe. “I told you this would happen Wands..” you quietly say, adjusting your messy, wrinkled skirt.

“Yeah.. yeah,” she says, her gaze flicking from you to the back of the room, checking if her friends left.

She lets out a sigh of relief when the group is seen leaving the library. “I'm sorry Y/N.” she whispers, lowering her eyes to yours. “Are we.. together? Like girlfriends?” your voice comes out more insecure than you thought it would. ‘Fuck, I shouldn't have asked that.’

“Yes! Yes.. why wouldn't we be? Krasivaya?” you shake your head, swallowing dryly. “No reason– it's just, I'm just.. so tired. Of running around whenever your friends are present, and not being able to talk about you with any of my friends.” you say, attempting to look away from her.

She clenches her jaw, bringing a hand up to your cheek to turn your eyes to her. “I told you, nobody from our classes can know about us..” her hold on your cheek tightens, forcing you to part your lips slightly.

“Is that clear?” the grip on your face was tight, harsh even. So rough that it started to hurt, and you could feel the side of your face reddening. Tears pool at your eyes, glossing them over. You tap at her wrist, “Wanda– please. It hurts.. I—” she pulls her hand away quickly, a frantic look displayed on her face.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Y/N please. I'm so sorry,” she lets out a choked sob, pulling you into an embrace. She wrapped her arms around you, continuously kissing the top of your head, and your forehead. “I'm so sorry, I– malysh I'm so,” she presses a kiss to your cheeks, “-so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.” she pecks your lips softly, her brows scrunched up in guilt and worry.

“It's fine Wanda..” your slowly regain control over your breath, gently rubbing her back. “I-I'm okay. You don't need to apologize darling.” you say, pulling apart to wipe her tears off. “We're okay.”

That last part came out in a whisper. She never heard it.

#Spotify #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maxmoff x y/n #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff

[krav3nn]

what iffff

you and bill had a cute little self care night! like full of kisses, face masks und little massages. just taking care of each-other after tour??

sorry if it’s bad i really am not great at requests- but i do have maybe 1 or 2 more if you need/want them💕

༉‧₊˚🕯️SELF CARE NIGHT ༉‧₊˚🕯️

UGHH I LOVE THIS REQUEST!!!! This is the best prompt ever, idk how I didn’t think of this! Your GENIUS! Thank you so much for requesting I love you pookie. Anyways, you ask you shall receive!

BILL KAULITZ X GN!READER

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

I’m so bored!” You groaned rolling onto your back on the floor “I have an idea of what we could do.” Bill said with a smirk on his face. You sat up and threw your pillow at him with a groan. “phff sorry baby I can’t help myself.” Bill says with a chuckle “yeah yeah whatever billy, do you have any REAL ideaa.” You said playing with his hair. “Hmm.. I don’t know but if anything I wanna do somthing relaxing. This past month has been exhausting.” Bill said with a sigh

You and tokio Hotel had been on tour for the past 31 days. You and bill were the singers in the band and had it rough. During the signing you would get unwanted comments, (which bill did NOT let slide) And y’all did a bunch of different concerts. Moving from place to place just tired you out. You and bill were just so glad to be back home.

At his words you sit up and gasp. “THATS IT!” You say running to your bathroom where you kept your skin care. Grabbing two silly face masks, moisturizer, and two cute little animals headbands to hold your hair back. Bill was just sitting on the couch in confusion, hearing you rustling in the bathroom.

You quickly ran bad and jumped next to him, showing him the face masks in excitement. Bill laughed loudly. “Can we do these billy?” You say shaking him. “Ughhh fine only because I love you.” Bill said kissing your head. You squeal in excitement as you hand him the two face masks. Asking him which one he wants. The dog or the cat face masks. Bill obviously choose the dog because he’s a dog person.

You also grabbed the headbands and put one on bill but his long hair with still going in his face a bit so you run back to the bathroom and get a black and red scrunchy. You run back to bill and giggled as you put bills hair up with the scrunchies. “Do I look stupid?” Bill says with a laugh. “You could never look stupid” you say kissing his lips.

You ripped the mask sheet open, at sit on bills lap to put the mask on him. “Scheisse! That’s so cold!” Bill says. “Ugh stay still you big baby.” You say with a chuckle as you smooth out the mask on bills skin and quickly burst out into giggles. Running to get your camera to take a picture of him, he just looked so silly! You ran back and took the picture of bill sitting on the couch, making a funny face with the dog face mask on him.

“Okay okay! I wanna put yours on now!” Bill said, grabbing the cat face mask and opening it. You sit crisscrossed and close your eyes getting ready for the cold that was about to envelop your face. Bill puts the mask on your face and it was indeed cold. Once it was on, you opened your eyes. Bill looked at you and laughed. “Now we look silly together!” Bill says grabbing your hands and pulling you off the couch, jumping up and down with you and just being giddy.

After 15 minutes you both took the face masks off. Bill grabs your waist and pulls you down on top of him. “Bill!” You say with a laugh as you wrap your hands around his neck and sigh in content. Bills hand massage all over your body, rubbing your shoulders, your back, your butt, you’re legs, exc. you find yourself dozing off to sleep. Every few seconds you would feel a kiss on your head, and comforting words in your ear as you and bill finally fall asleep in each others arms….

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

A/N: Again thank you to this person for requesting this. I’m sorry this took so long for me to write this and it was so short. my adhd brain kept getting distracted. Buttttt I hope this lives up to your expectations, your royalty ‼️

#bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel #tokio hotel x reader #bill kaulitz x reader fluff

[thecameronchronicles]

Good Vibrations (PHFF)

TW: smut. Language.

SUMMARY: Pope finds you entertaining yourself...

Good Vibrations

You waited hours until you could finally have that relief. Hours of watching his skin kissed by the sun and tensing as he reeled in those fish between John B and JJ. The sweat accenting the rich hue of his skin and the tension it brought from your teeth coveting your bottom lip. It has been one too many days of that sight. Watching him so close. Catching his eyes and offering a smile, only to shy away when someone provoked a conversation.

But right now you had it to fuel your fantasy.

Legs propped and knees bent, your fingers worked slowly agaisnt your clit. Already swollen by the ways you created friction on The HMS Pogue throughout the day, you were climbing quickly.

The idea of his hands in place of your own as you squeezed your breast and twisted your nipples made your thighs shake. The sound of his voice praising you in vulgar words unexpected, and therefore sexy as hell, made your toes curl. But it was the idea of his eyes looking up from between your legs that carried that wave beyond your sex and onto the bed.

POPE'S POV

I swear there will come a day where JJ's negligence will get him killed. Luckily, this was only an assignment and not anything detrimental. But it may prove to be that for me.

I entered the chateau only ten minutes after everyone else left. The evidence of our lack of supervision found in the disarray of takeout containers and empty beer bottles. But when at the scene, his paper was not among them. I was surprised he even cared, but the friend I was had be returning to find-

"Oh God-" A gasp made me chill.

I'd studied extensively the last few days which was why we took today to let off some steam. For that, I was convinced I'd imagined this. But when hearing it again, I set out to investigate. The shuffling of bedsheets made me curious as I saw her silhouette rise as she shuddered.

Two fingers pumping quickly between her legs as I watched through the sliver of the door. My angry cock challenging my chivalry.

I should look away. I should knock and pretend I didn't see her just drip like that-shit! I should not be rubbing my palm agaisnt myself for the little relief it granted. I should not be watching her and feeling so damn good relieving the pressure...

"Pope..." She squeaked as it made my teeth clench. I leaned closer.

"Pope....oh my God..." She gasped and my hand was in my shorts and they dropped to my ankles as I took unsolicited consent in this. If she could imagine me, I could do the same. Only I didn't expect her to be as close as she was as she came at the second I found my rhythm. The sight send my eyes to roll as she swore in the aftershocks. My eyes clutched closed before the door came open.

"Oh my God...." Her eyes dropped to the sight. My head leaning on the frame of the door, my cock dripping and slowing in my hand, as she widened her mouth, licking her lips.

"Oh. My. God..."

"I-"

"I want it..." She dropped to her knees and had me at her lips before I could be anything more than lustful. I shouldn't let her. I should tell her she deserved better and should take her time. Go on a date-

"Fuck!" She took me to the limit. Gagging and choking with a grin. My hand came through her hair for my own stability as she didn't need a second of guidance.

"Oh shit...oh my God!" Her nails fed into my hips and I braced myself in the door. Her name came out in pants as she withdrew and took a like if spit connecting us, along with her.

"Fuck my mouth, Pope...."

"Are you sure?"

"If you don't, I'll do it the next time we're on that boat...and I might even ask JJ to join between my legs..." The idea sent me to her level in a bend.

"If you take my cock, you take only mine!" I explained, surprising us both at the dominance.

"Yeah?"

"Y-yeah..."

"Then. Fuck what's yours..." She took me back in her mouth, this time working me hard. I could have come the second I heard her gag or her hand wrapped around my base as she pumped and sucked in equal measure. God dammit I was close...oh shit, she was good.

"You're so big..." She explained between breaths as I lifted her by her hair and sat on the bed.

"Keep going..." She illuminated as she stationed between my legs. Her hands on my thighs as she took me through her own reservations. My balls tightening to the way she took me with such life. Every suction seemingly more for her than me. I pulled her to stand.

My hand was between her thighs before she could speak and she rode agaisnt my hand.

"Yes!"

"You're not too sensitive?"

"Not for this! Fuck!"

"Yeah?"

"Yes! More! Please Pope! Oh my God, I've wanted this for so long!" I growled like a goddamn caveman as I pinned her onto her back. But the way she looked at me was too much. I was already grinding against the bed as I peeled her shorts down and saw her completely soaked.

"Please don't hold back...I can take anything you're willing to give." She hinted to my cock, complimenting through the remark as I fisted it as I stared at her. I just knew she'd feel like heaven.

"Fuck." She sighed to my breath on her sex. Dripping. Aromatic. Too damn much with the way she arched her back and took too much control right then. For that I flipped her onto her stomach. Squeezed her ass apart and feasted at her from behind.

"Ride my face." She obeyed perfectly. Using me to come undone and coming to that edge before exploding on my tongue. But I didn't stop.

"Pope! It's too much!" I ignored her. Feasting as a man starved to my new favorite delicacy.

"Again!" I groaned into her. Slapping her ass when she whined. Repeating the process as she shook. Only this time, when she nearly came, I withdrew. Her plea of my name sent my cock inside of her as a magnet to home. And I pounded without compassion. She cried in relief.

"Yes, fuck me! Just like that! I'm so close already!" I was going to favor this. I pulled her to her knees and agaisnt my chest, one hand wound in her hair as the other played with her breast. Noting how it made her come before.

"Don't come until I say."

"I'm close! Pope!"

"Not. Until. I. Say." I ordered through thrusts.

"I'll come again, I promise! You're so deep I won't have a fucking choice!"

"No?"

"No! Please I'll be so good! Please Pope, let me come!" My eyes rolled to her pleas. I flexed inside of her with each one.

"You wanna come? Make yourself." I bent her forward, a hand on her shoulder and watched her work her ass against me. Every piston of her hips sending me flush agaisnt her.

"No-" I snapped as she reached for her clit.

"You use me or you don't come!"

"Oh God! I love it!"

"Prove it!" I grunted, teasing the slit of her ass ass and hearing the most decadent of moans from the taunt. God it was tempting. So close. So tight. So...

"I'm gonna come!" My thumb made it's way to the tight ring and she climbed again.

"Nobody has ever..." She whimpered before coming.

"You want me to stop?"

"I want more!" I spit on my thumb, still lodged, and worked it slowly into her. She tensed and winced before I used my second hand at her hip.

"Fuck it..." I took over, brutal thrusts feeling her come once and climb closer in silent gasps and groans. Our thighs shared that same slickness before I could feel myself close.

"Baby!"

"Yes! Inside me!" I groaned. The idea of my cum dripping between her legs made me flex.

"You want my cum?"

"Fill me! Pope!!!!"

"No..." I brought her to that last orgasm before bringing her back to her knees. Without instruction, she pumped me.

"On my chest! I wanna wear your cum, Pope...I wanna feel how hard you came for me..."

"Then fucking make me baby!" She worked hard. Her mouth and her hand as I fought the hit ripes that came in layers on her chest. But still, she didn't stop. Not until I tore her away.

"You need more?" She nodded as I pulled her back on the bed, my fingers working fast as she shook sharply. Her fingers dipped on her cum stained chest, rolling her eyes and licking me from her touch like a goddamn lollipop as I hardened again.

"Open." She parted her thighs and I took her on her back. Pinning her arms and thrusting without apology until she left scars on my skin.

"Come for me, baby...drip down my fucking cock-"

"I think I'm...I'm gonna-" She cried out in trmors in the same moment I found my ecstasy, her mouth wide in disbelief.

"I've never...I've never done that before..." She explained as I peeled us apart to see her mess.

She squirted.

"And you're gonna do it again..." I leaned over her, my mouth taking over. "All. Night. Long..."

TAGLIST: @rafesmoon @maybankslover @puzziepoppin @gillybear17 @onclouds999 @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4tangerine @slvtherinseeker @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @jjmaybanksangel @phildunphyisadilf

MASTERLIST

POPE HEYWARD MASTERLIST

#pope heyward #pope heyward fanfiction #pope heyward smut #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks smut #outerbanks #outerbanks smut #outerbanks fanfiction #obx #obx fanfiction #obx smut #jonathandaviss

[asterwild]

Hi- i usually don't do this but this was on my dash and it's perfect. A bear with human feet phff-

idk looks like a normal bear to me

#you could say. you could say he has #''bear'' (bare) legs #replies #words with pictures

[watermelonsugacry]

Building Harry's House: Late Night Talking

A/N: Ok because I'm too excited & impatient, I'm going to start posting my series on how Harry's House was made. Big thanks to my bestie @be-with-me-so-happily for helping me come up with the name for the series!

SUMMARY: Harry gets inspired to write a song about one of his and YN's late night activities. (5.2k)

GENRE: 1dbandmember!yn

SINCE 2010 MASTERLIST // Building Harry's House masterlist

SIDE-NOTE: italicized is voice over commentary (I wrote this kind of like the Behind the Album documentary) bold are things Harry actually said irl

“Son of phff—”

Harry spits out the water from brushing his teeth into the sink before his feet quickly pad over the pink carpet in YN’s bedroom. He finds her leaning against one of the posts that frame her bed as she holds her blue sock covered foot. They're actually his socks and no matter how many times Harry teases her that since it is her house and thus has all of her clothes here, she still manages to steal the ones he brought over. 

But can he really complain when she looks so good in every piece of his clothing? Like his Hard N’ Hot t-shirt she’s wearing and how it deliciously bunches up at her hips from her position.

“Wha’ happened?”

“I stubbed m’fooking toe.” YN hisses, throwing her head back with her eyes squeezed shut. “It was my little one too, s’the best one.”

It's been a month since the world came to a screeching halt, making everyone go into lockdown.

Saying that it’s been a drastic change for every human ever is the understatement of the year. For the two of them, it's been quite an adjustment going from working on an album, becoming an official couple, said relationship getting exposed, being the talk of every social media platform, rehearsing for a world tour to just...stopping. Just like the rest of the world, hearing about lockdown was devastating for everyone.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Harry groans into the speaker of his phone. He stands by YN’s front door and rubs a hand over his eyes before ranking his fingers through his hair. 

COVID-19 has been spreading at a rapid rate, and to put it lightly, people are panicking. It has been announced that there is going to be a world-wide lockdown, making people stay home in isolation to help slow down the speed of how fast the virus is spreading. 

Once their managers told them they also need to go into self-isolation, her and Harry knew that they needed to go back home in the U.K. They both agreed to stay with their own families for the time being and would fly out together to share the last couple of hours with one another before saying goodbye. The news says that they should only be in quarantine for about a month so they wouldn’t be apart for too long (or so they thought). 

After a quick meeting with their teams about what they would do about their already planned schedules, the couple rushed to their homes to pack their things to go live with their families for the next couple of weeks. 

Once Harry was at her place, he went inside to help her take her bag to his car. The second they’re about to head out of YN’s door, Harry gets a call from Jeff that has them both stopping before getting a foot out of the house. 

“What’s wrong?” YN feels anxious from the lack of information being given to her, but from the looks of it, it can’t be anything good. Harry doesn’t answer her, but what he says next leaves her praying that it’s not what she thinks.

“Yeah I understand,” Harry looks to his love's wide eyes. “I’ll tell her. Stay safe, man.” 

Harry ends the call and sighs deeply, looking down at his hands as he anxiously (and angrily) twists his phone around.

“Harry...” YN whispers, gently putting a hand to his arm.

“They aren’t letting anyone fly out of the States.” Harry finally says. “We’re stuck here.” 

When he sees her eyes well up with tears, Harry fully pulls her into his arms. Her arms are tucked into his chest and he rests his cheek on top of her head. Her sobs are muffled, quiet, but they’re loud enough to break anyone’s heart. They stay like this for a little while but to them it seemed like hours. 

Once she’s calmed down, she looks up at her boyfriend with her eyes sill freshly glossy and her cheeks pink. 

“This is getting kinda scary.” YN whispers to him. Harry brings a hand to her cheek in hopes to give her some comfort. He’s beyond pissed about this whole situation, but right now he needs to figure out their next steps.

“As long as we keep inside we’ll be okay.” 

“And together.” YN adds, bringing a smile to his face.

“Together.” He repeats with a kiss on her nose to seal the promise.

“We can stay here at my place if you want? I mean we’re already here and you have your stuff in your car?” She suggests.

They’ve lived together before while on tour and slept over at each other’s houses for a couple days in the past, but it’s going to be as if they are actually living together. This both excites and terrifies her, but who better to spend this time together than with the one she loves?

“Ok,” Harry agrees, his smile growing wider. “Roomie.”

Both of them chuckle at this. Maybe lockdown won’t be so bad after all.

“Stop laughing at me.” YN whines, still clinging onto her foot.

“Aw, my poor baby.” Harry playful pouts before a chuckle tumbles past his lips.

“Think I need to go to the doctor, H. S’pretty bad.”

“Oh yeah?” He humors her. Harry tucks his arms under her legs and back before carrying her the rest of the way to her side of the bed. He peels the sock from her foot and takes a look at her little toe. It's only a little pink and doesn’t look like it’s going to swell up or anything.

“How’s it looking, doc?”

“Well, in my professional opinion,” Harry rests his hand by her head, hovering over her while he still stands next to the bed. “There’s two options. The first is that we may need to amputate.”

“I was afraid of that.” Harry’s trying his hardest to bite back a laugh at her serious demeanor, her hands resting below her chest like a patient. “Wha’s the second option?” 

“Lots and lots of cuddles.”

“Mhmm. Just chop it off already.” YN dramatically puts a hand over her forehead and looks away from him. She lets out a giggle when he pitches the skin on her side from his shirt riding up. Harry leans down to press his smiley lips to hers, loving the way their playfully scenario has made her happy again.

“Brat.” He says against her, giving her one final kiss before pulling away to turn off the light switch on the wall beside him. He jumps over her to get himself to the left side of the bed and snuggles under her white duvet with her.

“First, I burned the meat to go with our spaghetti the other night for dinner. Then I dropped and broke my new camera this morning,” YN says as she lists everything off of her fingers. She points the finger used for counting to him. “The second one was totally your fault, might I add.”

"I thought you heard me come into the room." He defends as he brings her closer to his chest.

"When you put your arms around me like that—like this—it's hostile."

"S'romantic."

"It scared me enough to drop my pretty camera." She gives him a pointed look but her actions speak differently when she tangles their legs together. "And now I injured my foot."

"Baby, you stubbed your toe, not y'foot. And second, I'll buy you another camera. I'll order you as many as you want, okay?"

He links his pinky to her extended one between them and they both kiss their thumbs before pressing them together.

"Okay, but here's something I realized before I had my traumatic toe injury." Harry playfully rolls his eyes but he gets comfy on his side. He tucks his right arm under his head while still having an arm around her waist as he gives her his full attention. "So, scientists are the ones to give the names to animals, right? But do the animals know that? Like do grasshoppers even know that they're called grasshoppers? What if they're called something else entirely and we just..."

Harry's eyes go all around the different parts of her face: her eyes, her nose, her lips. If he wants to, he can simply reach out and have his finger follow the curve of her face. There's no barrier from their phone screen or her voice having a static filter to it as she goes on one of her late night rambles. 

It's moments like these where he realizes that she's here, physically lying next to him in a bed. It's not like they haven't done this before, they've laid like this more times than either one could possibly count. 

But what's different this time, what fills his heart so much it might explode, what releases the hundreds upon hundreds of butterflies in his stomach is that she's his. No questions asked, officially and indefinitely his. 

There’s a comfort in knowing that he can run his hand softly up and down her back without the fear of knowing he won’t be able to do it again for a while after they break up. Or press a quick kiss to her lips in the middle of her sentence and say, “Sorry, you were saying?” without wondering when will be the next time she’ll ever smile like that to him.

And as much as he loves to be private, there's some part inside of him that's relieved the world knows (a very tiny piece of him). There doesn't need to be that much hiding anymore or dodge questions in interviews by claiming they're just really close friends. 

Everyone knows that she's his and that he is hers and that feels so much more relieving than he ever imagined. Of course he's not going to go on and on about their romantic history and everything that it entails to social media outlets, but oh to know that he can finally scream it to the roof tops that he's head over heels, undeniably, stupidly and completely in love with his best friend.

Ever since he’s known her, he always said to himself that if she wasn’t by his side, wasn’t on stage with him, performing and singing to thousands of fans every night, he doesn’t want it. He’s realizing now that if she isn’t here next to him, away from the spotlights, and talking about literally anything until she falls asleep for the rest of his life, he simply can’t live. 

...

"And if we can have those boxes be put over there, please. Appreciate you, man." Kid Harpoon nods over to the movers as they bring in some more recording equipment into the Shangri-La studios in Malibu. The same house/recording studio that was used for the making of Harry’s last record. 

Everyone on the production team was beginning to pile into the house, getting settled in and readying themselves to make some music. The team hasn’t changed from making his last record: Kid and Tyler as his producers, Sammy Witte as his engineer and composer, and of course, Mitch as his musician. This has been his core team since the beginning of his solo career but it’s hard to miss one of the most important members of the production crew.

As Mitch takes out some of his guitars from their cases to put them on a rack, he sees Harry sitting slouched on one of the sofas, staring off into something on the ground in front of him. He’s been way more quiet than usual and that instantly raises some suspicion.

“Alright, what’s up man?”

“What do yeh mean?” Harry picks at the skin by his nails but quickly stops, a nasty habit that YN has been trying to break from him.

“You know what I mean. Kinda hate to point out the elephant in the room but y’don’t seem as excited to start the album like you did the other day. Did something happen, man?” Mitch gasps. “Wait, did you and YN break up again? Oh, dude. M’so sorry—”

“No, no.” Harry lets out a chuckle and turns to face his friend who goes to take the seat next to him. “It isn’t YN. Well, I guess it is actually but not in the way y’think. Not to jinx it or anythin’ but we’ve been really good lately, great even.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“S’just, she won’t be coming in until tomorrow and, and it’s the first time we’re apart for a while as of late. So I...I dunno. I just kinda miss her. Ugh, y’know, if YN were here she would call me a sap for saying something like that. See!” Harry groans into his hands but Mitch all but teases him.

He’s been more of a witness than anyone when it comes to the back and forth that the two endured over the past couple of years. Mitch saw first hand how depressed Harry would get when the two weren’t together or be blinded by how bright Harry’s smile would get when she was with him. His friends have gone through so much turmoil, so many ups and downs that it’d make anyone dizzy and give up on ever finding love again. So it warms the guitarist’s heart to finally see that despite the odds, YN and Harry were stronger than they’ve ever been before.

“Like, s’the first time we're actually together together making an album; there's no in betweens or what if’s, nothing. S'like, I want to ask her to marry me one day. I’ve always known I wanted to, since I was sixteen actually. She’s been on my mind since forever and being physically apart right now just...” 

“Sucks.” Mitch continues when seeing his friend try to find the right word.

“Yeah.” Harry sheepishly admits. “It fucking sucks.” 

“Well,” Mitch sighs, pushing his long hair out of his face. “You already know what YN would tell you if she were here.”

It takes a second for Harry to rack his brain for the answer (her teasing him was his initial thought) but once he knows, he’s quickly calling Kid into the room and for him to bring his Casio keyboard.

“Working on this album was so different from any album we’ve done because of how much time we spent on it.” Harry pinches his bottom lip between his fingers. When he moves his hands, the sound of his chucky rings hitting together can be heard. “Instead of renting out a studio for two months to make an album, the record was actually made in the span of, what, a year and half? Almost two years.”

A couple of hours go by and the song’s lyrics are complete. As they all take a break and eat at the dining room table, Harry has to admit that while writing did help lift his mood a bit, it did also just make him miss her ten times more.

Mitch thinks Harry looks like a puppy when he perks up at the sound of a car door closing shut, eyes wide in excitement as he runs to the front door and whips it open.

YN sets down one of her guitar cases on the pavement and closes her car door. When she meets her love's eyes, her beautiful smile coming out just at the sight of him, he's an absolute goner.

"Baby!"

Bare foot, he quickly makes his way down the front steps, down the driveway and practically throws himself against her. Her laughs are muffled into his collarbones as his arms wrap around the tops of her shoulders.

"Baby, m'baby s'here." He mumbles into her cheek, pressing his lips to her temple. He feels like he may just burst out in tears by having her back into his arms again. It's the first time in months since they've been apart for more than 24 hours and it's embarrassing how much he's missed her. 

"V’only been gone for two days, H.” She teases, but wraps her arms around his middle just as tight.

“S’too long. Now gimme my kisses.”

YN complies in an instant but she giggles against his lips, “Y’tickling me.” 

She runs her thumb over his top lip and smiles when he playfully nips at her finger. 

Her boyfriend has been experimenting more and more with growing out his mustache ever since quarantine began. When he first grew out his mustache a couple of years ago, she honestly thought he looked hot but was absolutely heartbroken when he shaved it. He did it for two reasons: one, he didn’t like how red and irritated her inner thighs got the day after kissing her there (even though she kept claiming how good it felt) and two, she couldn’t stop giggling every time they kissed. So much so that he would have to pull away with a roll of his eyes while she would still be giggling, trying to pull his head back to her with no avail.

He playfully groans at her and smushes his face in the crook of her neck. It only makes her laugh more when he moves his lips, being even more ticklish there. “M’gonna shave it.”

“Don’t. If yeh do m’leaving. S’hot.” YN gives him a wink, making him smirk. She pats the side of his bum and she wiggles away from his hold on her. “Now come on, help me get m’stuff inside.”

One of the camera crew men holds up a clapperboard between the camera and where YN sits in her interview chair. 

"Ready? Marker!" He slaps the top down and YN pulls her finger away as if he pinched it in between the device. She shakes her hand out with a silent "ouch," before smiling at the camera.

"Album three, baby. Dunno why I keep getting invited back to be honest. M'bit annoying really." YN scrunches up her nose. "No but in all seriousness, m’very grateful to be brought back to work on another album with m’best friend. I really love this team, we're all kinda like family at this point. It's a good bunch for sure."

"YN!" The production team yells from their seats at the table when they see her walk through the door, Harry trailing behind her with her guitar case and bag. Some of the guys even bang on the table, shaking all the snack bowls and drinks, and Jeff taps a fork to his beer bottle.

"Speech! Speech!"

"Oh fuck off." She laughs before going around the table to give everyone hugs. Aside from working with the boys from when they were all in the band, this group of guys here are some of the most chill out and hard-working people she’s ever known. They’re all so welcoming and easy going that it feels that she doesn’t even have to put up a front. Not to mention how grateful she is of the technical producers, taking her under their wings and going out of their way to show her what other production skills she wanted to learn.

After giving a last hug to Mitch, Harry pulls her to him, her back pressed to his chest as he wraps his arms around the tops of her shoulders.

"Wait, hang on. Hold the phone. Is this the first time in album making history that the Love Birds are actually—" Jeff gasps dramatically, putting a hand on Mitch’s shoulder. "—an official couple?"

Even though the two laugh along with everyone else and Harry reaches out to throw a pretzel at his manager.

"I mean, the answer was pretty obvious from that song from earlier." Tyler laughs before taking a bite out of his sandwich.

“What song?” YN questions and watches the group freeze as they look at Harry. She furrows her eyebrows suspiciously and turns her head as best she can to look at her love. He quickly smiles at her but she was able to catch his pointed look to the team. 

Harry wanted to wait to have her listen to the song he wrote earlier, he didn’t want to embarrass himself with a love song right out the gate on their first day. He can’t hold it back any longer now that the cat's already out of the bag. Especially when she’s looking up at him in the way that she is.

He gives her a sheepish smile. “Well, we—”

“You.” Kid smirks behind the rim of his glass.

“I kinda wrote a little something today.” 

“Yeah, a little love song.” Mitch adds.

“Alright.” Harry groans but YN’s laughter softens the blow.

Jeff then goes on to tell the group about how he, too, has dabbled in that art of writing love songs for his girlfriend and that makes everyone call him out on it.

“Why are y’so shy about showing me the song?” She whispers while the group taunts Jeff, her hands resting on his forearms by her collarbones.

“I dunno.” Harry shrugs bashfully, already knowing the answer. He can already feel the heat rising to his cheeks and hopes that it isn't too noticeable. “Guess I’ve always been like that.” 

His eyebrows shoot up in fondness when he feels her give a peck to the jaw. “S’okay, I think s’hot when you write songs about me.”

And that’s all it takes for him to put his ego aside and build up enough courage to show her the song. It’s not long before Kid brings out his Casio Piano to the table and begins to play the ballad melody from earlier that day. It’s slow and beautiful and even though Harry hasn’t sung anything yet, she feels overwhelmingly happy she might cry from her spot across the table.

Things haven't been quite the same

There's a haze on the horizon, babe

It's only been a couple of days and I miss you

Mmm, yeah

No matter how many times Harry has written love songs about YN, he still gets so nervous to show them to her. Even though the couple feels more secure than they've ever been before, he feels like a school boy, anxiously hoping his declaration of love for his crush will be reciprocated. 

Nothing really goes to plan

You stub your toe or break your camera

YN lets out a huffed laugh through her nose at the line, knowing all too well of that night.

I'll do everything I can to help you through

As Harry continues to sing, she realizes that this is in fact the third time he's made a song about her for one of his albums. For the past 5 years, helping make songs about her—both about his love and about his hurts—was a painful process in the end. When making songs like Sweet Creature and Adore You, at the time it reminded her that they had so many complications between them, so many unspoken feelings that it just made making the albums wish she could hide away from the world with him without its watchful eyes. 

But now that the couple has not only officially but a label on things but the world learning about it too soon after, making this record is already beginning with a sense of relief and calmness she'd never thought she would feel. It's odd and feels illegal to be this relaxed, but it's a spot she wants to lay and soak in forever.

We've been doing all this late night talking

'Bout anything you wanna 'til the morning

Now you're in my life

I can't get you off my mind

Everyone migrates over to the large living room with all the recording equipment. They sit on the red, bohemian rugs as they prepare to do another run-through of the song. YN is sitting crisscrossed with Harry’s head in her lap as he holds his notebook with his scribbled lyrics in his hands.

Kid cracks his knuckles before counting him in, “Ready? 1, 2, 3, and—” But when he presses down the electric keyboard, it doesn’t sound like a classical piano like it did before, but an echoy, almost creepy, sound effect instead. It has the room bursting into a fit of laughter as everyone was completely caught off guard.

"What the hell was that?" YN giggles as she rubs away the tears from her eyes.

Kid comically begins to do the melody of Late Night Talking with the echoey setting just to be funny. After everyone has calmed down a bit, Harry points a finger at the producer.

“Hey, can we actually add that? Like, can you do a dun-dun, dun-dun...” Harry moves his fingers while scatting a new melody. When Kid picks up the melody, Mitch does an experimentally kick in with the drums to start the song.

“This song actually started out as more of a ballad than what it is now.” Harry begins to chuckle at the memory. “The little, funky piano bit is what kind of made me fall in love with the song even more so I wanted to add more of that. It has more of an up-beat, groovy vibe to it that I really like. Like, that bass line—" Harry blows out a huff of air. "—s'just really wicked.”

As the song continues to progress into the night, YN has on big studio headphones as she picks and plucks at the strings of her bass guitar to the beat of Mitch’s recorded drums.

I never been a fan of change

But I'd follow you to any place

If it's Hollywood or Bishopsgate, I'm coming too

She grooves with the beat of the song and after she hears Harry's last line, she slides her fingers down the neck of the instrument. 

While the majority of the team has fallen asleep around the studio space from their busy day, her, Kid and Harry keep on adding some finishing touches to the song (although Kid looks like he might knock out any minute).

“Part of my job as a vocal producer is to really make sure that every harmony sounds good and cohesive with one another. And we all know I’m absolutely obsessed with harmonies so it’s always so fun to arrange ‘em.” YN explains from her spot in front of the huge studio console. Mike, the videographer who’s been capturing the making of each of Harry’s albums these past couple of years, sits on the chair next to hers as she shows the camera her work so far. 

She points to the screen above the panel as she scrolls down to showcase all of Harry’s recorded vocals.

“So here at the pre-chorus, we have a couple of H's stacked vocals on baby.” She taps the space bar on the keyboard to sound off the isolated vocals.

If you're feeling down

I just wanna make you happier, baby

Wish I was around

I just wanna make you happier, baby

“And then if we go further down to the last line of the chorus, I tweaked one of his lower notes down a few octaves so we get a nice, yummy, harmony.”

I can't get you off my mind

“And then one of my favorite bits is over here in the post-chorus—” YN moves the mouse cursor on the screen to point out the jagged lines. “—with Mitch’s little guitar action where he matches the melody so nicely.” YN makes sure to click on Mitch’s isolated instrumental file to play with the vocals.

Can't get you off my mind 

Can't get you off my mind (can't get you off my mind)

I won't even try (I won't even try)

To get you off my mind (get you off my mind)

“I mean, a lot of this stuff kinda goes by unnoticed in the end, but at least we know it’s there.” YN huffs out a laugh through chewing her gum, her eyes focused on the computer screen as she types away on the keyboard. “S’my too much gene coming out but who’s gonna stop me?” 

All while she’s been explaining her work, Harry sits on the chair on her opposite side with a fond smile on his lips. It’s times like these where he gets happy from watching her be passionate about the things she likes, the things she geeks out about and just increasingly gets more excited as she speaks.

Harry’s dimples dig into his cheeks as he looks down at his fingers twisting around his rings. “The team and I got there early, and we wrote 'Late Night Talking.' I think by doing that, we just got to make the whole rest of the album being like: 'We have that.' And I felt that that just opened up a gateway for the rest of the record."

By the time it hits three in the morning, the couple retires to their shared room in the Malibu home. YN shuffles her feet into the room she inhabited the last time they were here to make Fine Line. Harry watches from the doorway as she plops herself face down on the bed. 

It’s an odd feeling to finally be officially sharing a room with her when it comes to the making of his album. 

Instead of escorting her to the room and leaving her with a promise of seeing each other again in the morning, he steps into the room and closes the door behind him. 

Instead of wondering if there’s a possibility for a good night kiss, when he walks up to her side, she turns her head to face him, and he pushes her hair behind her ear, he doesn’t hesitate to peck a kiss to her squished lips.

And instead of hugging his pillow to dream that it’s her laying next to him, he actually wraps his arms around her figure once her head hits the pillow next to his.

He wishes he can say that he’s still annoyed she steals and wears his clothes to sleep in, but he’d only be lying to himself to say that she didn’t look absolutely divine in his Rolling Stone t-shirt.

“Hey so what’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?” She begins before his eyes can flutter close in slumber. “Mine was that y’know that thing where if you make a speech in front of a crowd you can imagine them all in their undies? Well, everyone was! And like I was so confused but I also felt the need to dress down like them, yeh know, to not make ‘em feel uncomfortable and or anythin’.”

“Of course.” Harry furrows his eyebrows as he nods his head, tucking his lips in to keep a smile from growing.

“And so I was tryin’ to discreetly reach for my zipper in the back of my costume but I couldn’t reach it.”

“Right.”

“But then I remembered that my outfit was that flammable material like the ones magicians use when they light that weird paper on fire.” 

"For sure."

"And then I was like—ok now you're just making fun of me. That's it. Fine, whatever. I don't even care. I'll just keep all of this stuff to myself—" YN starts to turn around so her back is to a laughing Harry.

“No, no. M’sorry baby. Come back.” He says in between giggles as he pulls her back to face him and presses her up against his chest with ease. “Tell me more.”

“No, s’stupid.” YN pouts as she knuckles her sleepy eyes, trying to keep her playful, angry attitude. 

Harry can’t stop himself from planting a kiss to her jutted out bottom lip and butterflies fly around his tummy when she smiles at the action. She snuggles further into him and he glady tightens his hold around her.

“S’not stupid. Come on, baby. What happened next?”

Next Song Here! 🍣

Taglist:

@wobblymug @be-with-me-so-happily @ashtongivesmebutterflies @kiwiskiwiskiwi @darlingdesire @obsesseddd @hopefulwastelandcreation @cacapeepee @breezie-b00 @harrysfolklore @theekyliepage @sunshinemoonsposts @nervousspiderling @tbslonelyhes @tenaciousperfectionunknown @harrystylesrecs @certified-nalayak @itsjustsel @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @gviosca @behindmygreyeyes @twobluejeans @allisonxmcu @theemeraldbutterfly @jean-love @marvellover-sam @b-reads-things @theekyliepage @reveriehs @rach2602 @thurhomish 

#harry x 1dbandmember!reader #building harry's house series #since 2010 series #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #one direction #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #one direction fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles masterlist #harry styles and reader #harry styles and y/n #harry styles concept #harry styles moodboard #harry's house

[chronically-chaotic-cryptid]

This guy was like 'oh I don't want to keep you standing too long' and while that is very nice and considerate my immediate gut reaction was 'phff, im fine, i can stand forever'

#i very much cannot #i am a wheelchair user #standing up is not one of my skills #it is not a fun time #cripplepunk #cripple punk #wheelchair user #disabled #cripple shit #shitpost

[monstersfan18]

Siren garou

Ok look, I saw a fanfic of some character, I think it was from one piece? But anyway that doesn't matter, the fanfic was about a siren. There was a lot of smut in it!

So the point is that I just thought 'hey! Why not Make a Garou siren fanfic?' 

I'm also will make part 2 of this with the smut in it. And I will most likely do part two's with all smut. 

Warning: breeding kink, inappropriate language, blood, and bullying

(10 years old) Garous pov:

'God, I hate humans and mermaids!' I thought to myself. I've always hated humans and mermaids. The reason I hate mermaids so much is because they blame everything on sirens. Mermaids always act like they aren't the ones sink the ships, and as soon as they do they blame it on us sirens! The worst part is that the humans believe them! Humans also pollute our homes! At this point know, sirens are the cause of the sinking ships because we hate them so much.

Humans and mermaids are disgusting creatures!

Speaking of humans. I can see a ship, and it looked like a pirate ship too. I was heading up so sink it when I saw humans flying out of it and going in the Ocean. When I went to look at one to see if it was dead, I saw that it had so stab wounds in its chest. The man was dead. 'What the? What happened to these humans? Is there a siren up there? But that wouldn't make sense. Sirens sink the ship first then kill the survivors in the ocean.' I thought.

I then swam up to the surface to see what was going on. Then I saw a girl, a vary cute girl. She look like my age, maybe a little older. And she was badly injured.

"They thought they could sell me to some nobody! Well, they thought wrong! Haha!" The girl said. I don't know why but, that made me blush. She was vary brave, and strong too. 'I wonder what she means by 'sell'?' I thought. Suddenly she turns to look in my direction. "Oh my god! Is that a siren!" She said beaming with excitement. I then panic and jump back into the ocean. "What no come back! I won't heart you!" She shouted. I see her poke her head over the edge of the boat. 'I don't think she can se-' before I could finish my thought she jumped in to the water.

I was so shocked. But I didn't move. The way her hair moved in the water, it looked so pretty. I wanted to touch it. Really wanted to touch it. I couldn't help but blush at the site. She then looked at me, then she waved at me. I don't know why but I waved back. She then tried to speak, humans can't speak under water so it sounded really weird when she tried to. "Phff! Humans can't speak under water silly! Here let me help you." I said. 'What am I saying?! 'Help her'?! I shouldn't but it just feels so right.' I thought. I then went up to her and brought her to the surface.

"Hi!" She said happily. I was shocked that she wasn't scared of me. "Are you not scared of me?" I said confused. She looked so happy, but why? "No I'm not" she said. "Why?" I said raising a eyebrow. "Because sirens look cool and i feel like mermaids are weird." She said. I smiled at her. 

He looked really kind. Though, there was one thing on my mind still. "Did you kill the people on the boat?" I said. "Yeah, there were trying sell me to some rich guy." She said. 'What? They were trying yo sell her?! This is why I hate humans.' I thought. I didn't like her response. That was cruel! You can't just sell someone! "Do you know where your home is?" I asked. " I live somewhere called ishokie village (I just came up with a name don't  blame me!) I think we left from that direction!" She said pointing to the left. "I can take you there if you want." I said. "That be very much appreciated." She said with a smile on here face. 'Cut- wait what am I saying! She's a human!' I thought.

20 to 25 minutes later we arrived at a island. She said that this was her home. It was not a big island but not a small one ether.

"Thanks for the ride! My name is y/n! What's yours?" She said happily. "G-Garou!" I said nervous. I was sad because now I had to leave. She was so nice! I wish I could stay with her forever. "Hey, do you like cola?" She asked. "What's that?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "Ok, I'll be back in like around 5 minutes so stay here! Ok?" She said turning around and started running. "Uhm? Ok!" I said confused.

About 5 minutes later she comes back like she said she would, but she had something in her hand. I look at her with confusion. She then hands me it. "Here! You drink it. Don't worry, it's not poisoned." She says with a smile. I then take the drink out of her hands. I don't know how to open it so I'm a little confused. "Uhm, I don't know how to open it." I said. She then giggled at me, I then got embarrassed. But I couldn't help but notice that her giggle was so cute. I could feel my cheeks go red. "You just twist the top." She said with a smile. I the twist the top, it then opened but bubbles started to spill out. I got startled by that. "Is that supposed to happen?" I asked. She then giggle again. "Yes, it's called carbonation." She said. I look at the bottle and bubbles were coming up from the bottom. I was hesitant to drink it because it looked a little weird. It could also be poisoned. She then looked at me, then she smiled again. "Don't worry, it's not poisoned." She said almost like she read my mind. But the remark made me a little more comfortable. Though I just meet her i feel like I can trust her.

I then took a tiny sip of the drink. My eyes widened. It was really good. I then drank the hole thing. "Looks like you really like it. Do you want more?" She said. I then nodded my head rapidly.

That was the day I changed my mind about humans. Well, only on one human. Which was y/n. But that was also the day I made my first friend too.

8 years later...

 No one's Pov...

Today was the first day of mating season. He never liked it. There were two reasons why, first, ever since he started exercising and training the other female sirens have been trying to get his attention. They just wanted him because he looked good. Second, he never found a siren good enough for him. He wasn't one of those people that just fucked a random woman and left, he was one of the rare ones that would stay with the one he would mate with.

Garou definitely wasn't sticking around for it. So he went to see his best friend, y/n.

He would be lying if he said his best friend wasn't attractive. Over the years she became more beautiful. Even though she was a human, Garou definitely wouldn't mind mating with her. He definitely developed a little crunch on her when he was 10, and over time that crush grew. Every now and then he would dream about mating with her so hard. 

He remembered they call it sex or fuck instead of mating or mate. He heard how humans did it by some fisher man in a boat that he was going to sink one day. As soon as he heard how they did it, he instantly that of y/n. Now knowing how to do it, he couldn't stop fantasizing about how good it would feel to mate with her. It wasn't all that different form how sirens do it. It just male sirens had a pouch for there members.

Garou was just about to go to the surface to see you, but then a female siren came up to him. "Hey big boy how about you and me ma-" "No" Garou said before the girl could finish. And before the girl could say anything else Garou swam away to go see you.

When he got to the surface he went to the beach and sat on a rock, the one he usually sits on. No one comes there anymore so that was there meeting plays.

"Garou!" A familiar voice said. Garou then turned around to see them. Once he saw you he couldn't look away. You were in a swimsuit! And not any swimsuit, it was a bikini. But that wasn't the only thing that sparked his interest, your smell changed. It smelled so good. It smells like vanilla.

Mate...

Your pov...

Some girls came up to me and told me if I wanted to go to the beach with them today. I don't know them but I do know they go to my school. I don't have friends at school, so this would be a good opportunity to make some. I only have one friend and that's Garou. Speaking of Garou, I should probably tell him not to go to the beach today if he doesn't want to be seen.

Before I left to go see Garou I put on my swimsuit on, then I left.

When I got there I saw Garou waiting on the rock that he usually waits for me. Ever since he started training he's gotten a lot more muscular. Sometimes I wish he would put on a shirt so I would stop starting at them. There distracting!

"Garou!" I shout. He then turned to look at me. I noticed that he was looking at me weird, I then look down to see I was wearing my bathing suit. I totally forgot that he's never seen me in a swimsuit before! And a bikini at that!

I then walk closer to him, he won't stop staying at me. "Hey Garou, some friends of min-" "why are you wearing that?"  He said before I could finish. "That's because some friends and me are coming to the beach, I thought I should warn you before hand so that don't see you." I said. "Are there any boys?" He said. 'Is he serious? Why would he ask me that?' I thought. I then noticed his face was dead serious. He looked scary. This is the first time I've been scared of him.

"No, not that I know of." I said. "I'm staying to watch you then." He said. "Why?" I asked. You couldn't help but think that was a little weird. "Because I want to make sure your safe." He said. "But garou, this is the first time I have friends to hang out with that aren't you. Please, your just be over protective." I said with a pout.  

Garous face got dark all of a sudden. "So you don't think I'm enough? Is that right, y/n? Is it because I'm a siren?" "N-no, not at all. Why would you think that?" I said. Why was he acting like this? He never acts like this! Sometimes he can be over protective but never this much! "Then proof it!" He shouted. I was so stunned I couldn't speak or move. Garou never ever shouted at me before. "Why are you acting like this Garou?! You never yell at me! I-I just wanted to make new friends!" I said. It this point I started crying. "I just want to make new friends, not replace you. I would never do that!" You said your hands in your face crying.

Garou was now the one in shock. You've never yelled at him ether. Now he knows he fucked up. "I-I'm sor-" "I don't want to hear it Garou! Just go away!" You shouted before he could finish.

With that you ran away from him. Tears in your eyes. Why would he say that? He's not Garou. Not the one you know.

Garous pov...

"Shit, shit, shit! I messed up! Big time!"

Those were the only words that would come out of me, I just keep repeating them over and over again.

'Why did I say that?!"

And those words were the only things I could think.

I didn't want to admit it but, I knew the answer to my thoughts.

I was jealous

Jealous at the fact that she was hanging out with other people that aren't me. Jealous that there might of been other guys there. Jealous that I wasn't the only person to see you in that swimsuit. Jealous that I couldn't be there because humans hate my kind.

Why why why why WHY do I have to be so stupid! Maybe if I didn't say those words to her I could of convinced her to not go and stay with me.

Maybe if I was humans things would be different. If I was human maybe we would go on dates. What was that thing they call it again? What was it? Girlfriend and boyfriend! Yeah! We would be girlfriend and boyfriend together. That would be perf- no we would be a couple! That way I would wake up next to you every day.

But if you were a siren. Oh I would of claimed you a long time again. I would breed you every day and every night too. Your the age for a siren to have kids now. I can see you and I with our kids. 

I could see this if we were both humans to. We would have 5- no 7- no 10 kids. 

But I might have screwed it up now. 

I put one of my hands it my hair. Im clearly lost I didn't know what to do. Im frustrated!

No, I didn't. I'm going to fix this. And after I'm going to mate with you. And im going to do it hard for the scare you gave me.

I don't care if you human! Im going to mat- no, i'm going to fuck you. Hard.

With that I jump into the water.

Your pov...

"Hay y/n! Come in the water with us! It'll be fun!" One of the girls that invited you to come to the beach said. You'd be lying if you said you weren't upset still. But this might take your mind of if things. "Oh, okay!" You said running to them, then getting in the water.

You couldn't help but think this was a little odd. They said that more people would come but there's only three people here. You, Julian, and Alexis. (Sorry if your name is one of these! You can change them!)

As soon as you join them they shove you in the water. "Wha-" They held your head under the water. You couldn't breathe. You don't know why there doing this but you can't stop them. They bring your head above the water holding you by your hair.

"Who's that good looking guy you hang out with? The one you meet up with almost every day here?" Julian asked. 'Wh-what? A-are they talking about Garou?' You thought. Even if they weren't talking about him, you don't wanna take your chances. "W-what are you t-talking about?" You say. "Oh please! You know who we're talking about! The one with white hair and is buff! How did you land a guy like that?" Alexis says. They are talking about him. I don't think they know he's a siren. But I think I had enough of this.

With that, I took a hold of the hand that was holding my hair, which was Alexis, and through he in the water. "How the fuck?" Julian said confused because she didn't think I had the strength to do something like that. I actually didn't hear what she said because I was to busy with crashing Alexis's head. Julian was completely terrified because now her friend was bleeding out. "Wh-why would you do that?" She said as she took a few steps back. "Uhm, it's called self defense." I said cockily. "Y-your a freak!" With that she ran away. 

'Well so much for making new friends.' I though.

Now I'm alone now.

I don't think Garou is going to come back anytime soon too.

I don't even think he wants to be friends anymore.

I look at the sky, it's about to become night time. Maybe I should go home and forgot this all happened.

Before I could take a step forwards I heard a song. It sounds beautiful too. But it also sounds like a sirens song too. What's a siren do out here. Sirens never come this close to land. Only Garo- wait? Garou? No, it can't be.

It sounded like it came a little further up the beach.

I started to run up to where I heard the song. It was still playing. It was behind some rocks. When I looked behind them nothing was there. "Weird, I thought I heard something over here." I said confused. 

Before I could walk away something dragged me into the water. Before I could see what it was I blacked out.

DONT READ NOTES IF YOU DO T WANT SPOILERS FOR ONE PUNCH MAN!

Notes: BRO! They cut of garous hair I. The new one punch man chapter! Bro, I don't like it. 

#One punch man #opm garou #garou #garou x reader #opm #siren garou #siren #x reader

[askadrianalucardtepes]

*Somewhere in the forrest of Belmont.*

Anon1: *Peacefully staring at the sky.*

*A rustle from a bush nearby.*

Anon1: *Sees a pair of eyes in the bushes but when they blink th eyes are gone.*

Anon1: *Surprised and in shock procceds to get up and dash in a random direction but is cornerd by a cliff* "Mhmm, well sh!t."

*Random voice from the bushes.*

???: "Human~ Where are you~?"

Anon1: "You aint getting my buns! Hun?"

*Runs along the cliff and climbs a tree but when they look down they see a nightcreature.*

Anon1: "Oh god damit."

Nightcreature: "When Im done with you, your face will look like mashed potatoes."

*Luckily the Nightcreature dosent have sight*

Anon1: "Yeah whatever man." *Changes voice to a higher pitch, Mimiking a childs.* "Hello?"

Nightcreature: "Okay Im going to go find that child, but then Im going to kill you!" *Walks off into the bushes.*

Anon1: "Okay byeee! Happy travels! Now lets see here.." *Looks around for a escape route.*

*Nightcreature comes back but rams into the bark of the tree causing it to sway violent and almost throws Anon1 off.*

Nightcreature: "There was no child!"

Anon1: "Double check." "Hello?"

Nightcreature: "I know your messing with me! Where's the child!? WHERE ARE YOU HIDING IT."

Anon1: "Dude I dont know! Just um... A vampire is behind you..."

Nightcreature: *Is confused but and 'looks' behind them.* "Steve?"

Steve: "Hello!" *Smiles at nightcreature.*

Nightcreature: *Is annoyed but replies.* "Hello Steve..."

Anon1: "Hi Steve!" *Gives a small wave.*

Steve: "Hello human guy!"

Nightcreature: *Turns around disgusted* "Steve dont talk to this guy, He's an asshole!"

Steve: *Gasp* "Profanity!"

Nightcreature: "Steve. Their hiding a child somewhere and they wont tell me where. Do you know what that means?"

Steve: *Scratches chin confused.*

Nightcreature: *Deadplan.* "We cant have a party Steve."

Steve: "No!" *Is on brink of tears.*

Nightcreature: "Yes! We need to find it Steve!"

Steve: "I'll do my best Ma'am!" *Walks off into the bushes.*

Nightcreature: "Stop listening to gossip! There confusing you!" *'Looks' up Anon1 in the tree* "Im starting to think there is no child."

Anon1: *Switching between both voices* "You just "Hello?" Got to *Child like laughter.* look harder "Hello?" Man."

Nightcreature: "Thats it fucker! IM COMING UP THERE!"

Anon1: "Hello?"

Nightcreature: "But first im going to look around one last time to ensure that child dosent exist...."

Anon1: "Phff this situation is a total joke." *See's a hooded figure beside them.* "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

???: "Hello!" *Scares Anon1 and watches them drop off the tree.*

Nightcreature: "Good, this is my time to catch them by surprise!" *Runs back to the tree.* "Have at THEE!"

Anon1: *Bashes supposed knee with an axe.*

Nightcreature; "FUCKING knee!"

Anon1: "GET AXED ON BITCH! Also thanks for the axe Steve."

Nightcreature: "STEVE WTF?!"

Anon1: *Bends down to Nightcreatures ear.* "Hey nightcreature."

Nightcreature: "What!"

Anon1: "Hear that?"

*The sound of rustling hair and a special flying sword.*

Nightcreature: "Oh go fuck yourself."

*Nightcreature dies by magical sword to the face.*

"...What just happened? I feel like a lot just went down here. None of that interaction made even a lick of sense. I've been watching this unfold and just. Wow. I'm pretty sure all of you are on mushrooms or something. I'll just.... Go, now. You have fun with your... Whatever this is."

#This ask has been in my inbox for so long. I still have no idea what to do with it. Damn. #castlevania rp #alucard #ask alucard #alucard castlevania #castlevania askblog #castlevania netflix #castlevania #alucard tepes #alucard rp #adrian tepes #ask adrian fahrenheit tepes #askadrianalucardtepes

[duchessanon]

For the love of Henri: Tome 6 - The Curse of Yellow Snow

My first tome in 2 years. What you missed on For The Love of Henri:

Prince Henri married the love of his life and the most beloved pauper Princess of all time, Philanthropina. They had a God and Queen loving baby called Libby. Henri’s brother and sister in law, Willy and K8 were banished from the kingdom for trying to sabotage Henri and Phily. In a charity auction, Henri met Meghan Markle who bewitched him and made his nethers flutter. To get back into royal life, K8 and Meghan worked together to fake Phily’s death. Henri was tricked into proposing to Meghan Markle.

-

It was the wedding day of Prince Henri, Prince of the People and Ms Meghan Markle. 

In the grand dressing room of Buckingham Palace, Meghan was getting ready with Jessica Mulroney. 

Eugbea came bursting through the door, wearing a flower crown, flower bracelets, and flower anklets. “Dear cousin! Look outside, it’s snowing yellow snow!!!”

Sure enough, yellow snow poured down and Eugbea yelled “this hasn’t happened since Charles I was executed!” She stuck her tongue out the window.

“What the frick Eugbea, way to bring the mood down” said Jessica Mulroney, giving her a tongue lashing (literally).

“Sorry dear cousin” Eugbea wept spilling diamond tears on the ground and ran away. Everyone knew only blood princesses could cry diamond tears.

Meghan picked up the diamonds and threw them out of the window where Fomid Lobie was hiding in the bushes. She allowed Fomid to follow her around in return for positive news stories. He was only allowed to follow her on the proviso he wore a disguise at all times. 

Just then there was a knock at the door and a royal butler announced the entrance of Queen Liz.

“Your majesty” Meghan and Jessica Mulroney bowed.

“Meghan, on the occasion of your wedding day, I have a gift for you” said Liz.

Meghan was excited. There had been an unfortunate incident where she had accidently pushed Angela Kelly down the stairs when she refused to give Meghan the tiara she wanted. And then there was the time she used the bathroom after Sophie and suggested she eat more fruit and vegetables. It looked like Liz was finally about to embrace her.

Liz held out a small white rag and Meg took it and blotted her lipstick with it, “How kind of you grandmother”.

“NO!” Liz screamed, her tongue lashing out. “That is a piece of Philanthropina’s wedding dress, you FOOL. You must sew it into your wedding dress to show respect!”

“Oh shhhhh….ugar cubes” Meg said. “WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GESTURE GRANDMOTHER. I SHALL BE DELIGHTED TO RESPECT PHILY’S MEMORY IN THIS WAY” 

Outside, Fomid was writing out every word Meg was yelling.

“I’m not deaf woman, give it a rest!” Liz side eyed and left.

-

At the chapel, Willy and K8, now known as Willpot and Kathryn the Great took their seats. Kathryn wore the same yellow dress that she wore to Phily’s wedding. Across the way sat Oprah, Rose (allegedly), Sting, Addison Rae, and some other royals that no one knows. Fergie took her seat saying “I’m here everyone, I was invited, it’s me, the Duchess of York”.

Henri arrived to the chapel to cheers that broke a Guinness world record for volume. Following him was Libby who did a ballet dance down the aisle. Meg arrived and her dress dragged through the yellow snow. The choir sang an emotional rendition of born in the USA as she walked down.

As Meg walked to him, Henri’s nethers stirred. He had abstained from sexual intercourse with his bride so far. Phily was still on his mind. Meg got to the altar and Fergie whooted from the stalls “yas duchess!”

The archbishop guy started his sermon “welcome your majesty, your royal highnesses and paupers. We are here today to celebrate the love of our most beloved prince to star of Suits, Meghan Markle. But first we must acknowledge the most glorious lady who is laying beneath our feet right now.”

Meg rolled her eyes. Everyone knew Phily was put in the tomb beneath the chapel with all the great monarchs. Phily’s funeral was the most watched event of all time. Even tribes who were cut off from civilization were given iPads to watch it.

“In respeto for the Princess of the People, the bride and groom will now make an offering”.

Henri wiped a tear away and pulled a twig out of his pocket. “Dear Meghan, please place this piece of Jesu’s cross on Phily’s tomb slab and kiss the slab”

“You want me to kiss the ground, the dirty ground that Anne rode her horse around yesterday?” Meg said.

“That’s no way to talk about uncle Timmy, Meghan” Henri gasped.

Anne piped up, “She’s talking about my actual horse, I took it for a ride in the chapel yesterday, it shat on Phily’s tomb slab but I got Eddie and Sophie to clean it up”

“See, all is well Meghan dear, the excrement has been cleaned” Henri said with a big smile.

“Yes by a woman who left a shit explosion in the toilet!” said Meg.

The congregation gasped.

“What? Anne literally just said ‘shat’, and I can’t say ‘shit’?”

“The protocol is only blood princesses are allowed to curse in church” said Liz from her front row spot, “Phily would have known that”.

“Bum hole!” giggled Eugbea, just because she could. 

“Piss butt” screamed Charlotte.

“Enough! Meghan for the love of Henri just kiss the funking slab” hollered Philpot. 

Henri bent down to kiss it first, a little to long and passionately for Meg’s liking.

Meghan thought about her dilemma. Should she kiss the slab to please the family, but forever be know for living in Phily’s shadow and kissing the shit floor? Or should she refuse and show the world she was an independent woman that is gonna make her own way in the family by going against the grain? She made her decision and looked directly in the camera operated by Fomid in a wig and trilby.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the world, I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your service. I will respect the memory of beloved Phily who was a great friend of mine. In my heart I know she would not have wanted me to kiss the floor slab. Therefore, I shall not. But I shall place the priceless twig down. God Save The Queen!”

The room went silent apart from the sound of Jessica Mulroney bailing from the chapel and Fomid whispering “slay queen”.

The royals had faces like they were sucking lemons. Meg bent down to place the twig on the slab, and stood up again. At the same time Kathryn The Great rolled a lit candle towards it. In slow motion, Meg noticed and made a grab for the twig, but it was too late and the final twig from Jesu’s cross was incinerated.

“What the fuck busybody, why didnt you put it in the fire proof bag first!!!!” Charlotte screeched.

“What fireproof bag??” said Meg.

“This one” Henri held up a little bag that said ‘fireproof bag for Jesu twig’.

Not only had Meg bought the first yellow snow for 100s of years, disrespected the Queen, country and Phily. She’d destroyed a priceless relic. Meg was now the most hated woman in the UK. 

-

Kathryn the Great was on cloud 9 when they got home to their £4 million apartment. She span around exposing her nethers, “I did it birch, I really did it. Finally I’m the popular one”.

“Now we’ve just got to tow the line for a little bit” Willpot said and Kathryn shocked his nethers with the button on her engagement ring. 

“Are you fucking kidding me! This is my time now you bastard! I’m sick of behaving, I dont trust nobody and nobody trusts me, the public are about to see who I really am”. She ran into the bedroom and returned wearing a black lace catsuit with cut outs on uppers and nethers. “Call me Middleton, Snake Middleton”.

“What can I be called? How about Fang” Willpot said sticking out his teeth. 

Charlotte stuck her head round the door, “Piss flakes!” 

“That’s a great idea” Snake said.

“How about a compromise…Flakes?” said Piss Flakes.

“The compromise is Piss, now shut up” Snake hissed.

“Yes my love” Piss said sadly. 

-

In the humble cottage Henri carried Meg over the threshold. The archbishop guy rushed the rest of the ceremony because the crowd outside decided to leave and go to Trafalgar Square where Phily and Henri’s wedding was being replayed on a big screen.

“What a day, shall we go upstairs my HUSBAND?”

Henri’s nethers twitched but he couldnt bear to release them in his and Phily’s bed. “I shall retire to my chamber, dear Meghan, I am feeling fatigued”. He ran upstairs. 

Just then Libby twirled past after cycling herself home, ready to bathe herself and put herself to bed.

“That’s it!” Meg thought. “What I need to get everyone back on my side is a baby or two, all I need now is Henri’s nethers!”

The End for now.

#phff

[akitasimblr]

shh! grace is painting the portrait of the next heir of the legacy 🖼️👑📖

beginning | previous | next

transcript:

Ana: Moooom! Can I move, now?

Grace: Hmm… just a tiny bit, Ana. It mut be perfect!

Ana: Can I take a look?

Grace: No!

Ana: You know I don't like surprises, right?

Grace: Phff! Everyone likes surprises!

#harper legacy twice #ice cream legacy challenge #raspberryswirlgen #grace harper #ana harper

[omoriboii]

Your art jumpscares me and I love it!

PHFF WHAT? Thank you?? Idk how to feel about that compliment lmao

#omoasks

[simiansmoke]

You know... energy just doesn't come from nothing. And with power comes an equal balance of sacrifice. No such thing as a free lunch. You feel it, don't you?

He's looking a bit on the exhausted side to put up with obscure premonitions, nursing the fresh bags under his eyes with the tips of his thumbs. "...the only thing I'm feelin' is a long nap. Big deal!"

After more experimenting with the contained crystal left it drained of energy again, DK just assumed its weakened state was about as influencing on an observer than a yawn. That's why he wanted to find some shady spot to snooze in, right?

Though, when he moved to set out and found he had to slump the burden of his weight onto one side of his body as the other decided it had enough for now. Balance thrown, he settles for slumping down onto his side and stretches to let his sweating flank cool against the ground.

"Hghf-that's-phff... n e w ."

#//8I ...there's somethin happenin heeere...but what- #//dammit crystal banana #verse;//holybananas

[tonguethulhu]

Therapist? Phff, alls you need is a few friends you don't talk to with equally shitty blogs